God Awful Movies - 52: GAM052 What the Bleep do we Know?

Episode Date: August 16, 2016

In this week's episode, Eli, Noah, and Heath team up for a skeptical review of What the Bleep do we Know?, the 2004 classic of quantum woo. From "scientific" studies that show you can meditate away high murder rates to "scientific" "proof" that water gets sad when you say mean things to it, this film crams so much bullshit into one place there's no way to describe it but impacted. --- If you’d like to make a per episode donation, please check us out on Patreon Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page.

Yeah, look at this point with somebody would say something correct. It's like I found an Easter egg like hey guys guys 48 minutes 18 seconds true thing yeah, okay, and about this question Um that does the brain look like a a neon sign made of vaginas as far as I know is that true? Is that um? No, is that what a vagina looks like? You guys have girlfriends. Who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be who will be to my immediate left is my good friend Heath and right Heath. Welcome back. Thank you. Um, but did I ever really leave? Did I ever really, I mean left right back? Well, you're such a dualist. Whatever. It's fun. And sitting 81 miles to my right is my bad friend Eli Bosnig. Eli, how are you this fine afternoon, sir? No, it has a pistol. I don't know something about'm about to do it.

I'm excited. So, tell us, what will we be breaking down today? All right, we watched what the bleep do we know? It's that classic tale of a deaf photographer with depression, the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, and literal pricism. Classic story, and I probably spoiled it already, so I guess I'll stop there. We've all heard that one anyway.

Any lie, how bad was this movie? Well, if you ever fucked a yoga instructor while you were both high, and your favorite part was listening to him or her talk afterwards, while you tried to fall asleep, you will love this movie. It's 50% a woman doing an impression of a wrench falling down a well and 50% interviews with people who at any moment could smear their poop on the camera lens.

That's the movie. Fucking amazing. I gotta say, I've been dying to do this one for a while, right? So quick personal story. I first became aware of this movie before it came out in theater right when it came out in theaters or whatever By I think it was an article on popular mechanics where one of the the scientists that they interviewed the one real Scientist that they interviewed for this movie, you know He didn't realize what they were doing with it

He thought they were just gonna do a documentary about quantum physics So he said real quantum physics shit. And then they drop him right in between like some fucking woman who thinks she's channeling a thousand year old Lemurian spirit and a fucking discount depock Chopra and shit and have just the part where he says and things can be in two places at once. And then they caught away from him. So that's all I knew about the movie. And I was living with some hippies in a commune type situation at the time. And some dude brought over this movie

and I tell you how hippie and commune it was, he had to bring a DVD player with him. So he brings over this movie. And I tell everybody about it in the beginning, I'm like, hey, you know, the quantum physicist that they interviewed for this, this is all a bunch of bullshit. So just so you know, in advance,

it's all a bunch of bullshit. And I'm sitting know, in advance, it's all a bunch of bullshit. And I'm sitting here watching this movie with these people and they keep looking over at me as they make the most ass and eye and points going, I don't know, I think he's got you there, man. Unfucking real. So I've wanted to go at this movie for quite a while. Now, had you guys seen this before,

we decided to do this movie? Are you this review, brother? I did. My very well intentioned eighth grade philosophy teacher showed us this movie in a real attempt to blow our minds. She was so excited for us to think that not touching. You never really touching anything. I remember we watched that part and then she pauses it and she slammed her hands down

our desk and she was like, I'm not touching This desk and everyone in the room was like And I was like you are though Yeah, that's what we call touching is the electrical resistance that's created the fact that the atoms themselves don't bump into each other It's kind of irrelevant, but am I though? Are you doing fission on the desk? No, it's just relax. But am I though the movie?

That's the whole fucking good thing. I know, is there anything you guys wanted to nominate this one for being the best at being the worst at? Oh, I'm gonna say worst use of possibly the best actress we've had in any of the movies we've done. Probably, yeah. This was sad seeing Marley Matlin in... And to add to that,

a best-worst random deaf person for no reason. We're hearing about, I'm gonna make a lot of deaf jokes, okay? So you should get ready. And this is the safest jokes I'll ever make, because we're gonna do blues list lists. They're not here. Fuck deaf people. They don't know.

We're not gonna post it. None of them are listening to this podcast. But here's the thing. Her deafness never matters in this movie. It's just, they were just like, oh, you know it would be weird. Let's use a deaf person because like, whoa, right?

It's like where someone has a dream in a movie and there's always a midget even, even though no one has ever had a dream about a midget, they're just like I dispute that last thing Well, but see I feel like maybe like that was a strategic thing They're like we want a big name actress, but if she hears any fucking thing we're saying she'll be out We know we can get a deaf actress and we could pay off the fucking translator dude to just To just, no, no, no, like, make it sound like we're saying sensible shit. I mean, are you still, because that lady looked like a bun victim.

That's it. No, trust me. It's all going well. No, there will not be any partying hormones anywhere in this. I don't even know where you got that, Marley. How about the best, worst use of rhetorical questions that they have the wrong answers to. But do they though? Yeah, we'll rate, like over and over again in my notes, my note is just no, you're wrong credits.

You know, they ask the most ridiculous, are all realities happening? Simult, no, they're not. That's, you know, you just say reality. That's how we, yeah, I'm just asking questions of the movie. Yeah, oh god. All right, well, I guess I've been dying in a rip into this one since 2004 So we're gonna take the quickest of breaks and when we come back We'll dive head first into all the quantum move that is what T capital a tell usize H.E.

Pound dollar asterisk exclamation mark long D feed occurs of W sigma open parentheses The tell usize K close parentheses pi out and terror bang. So they spell it. That's how I'm gonna fucking say it Stop do not do really what the hell he's what's going on here? See I told you we shouldn't watch what the bleep do we know with Eli he thinks he can walk on water now If he really believes he can and that's what he's trying to don't what we're go here. We go Dude that's not how with Eli E lie well, what what I almost had at that time. I just got a I got a believe No, no dude. That is not how it works this it's all bulls. It was all the whole movie was bullshit

Oh, that's what you say ready three two one go Dude, did he have a stick rod his penis that said 12 inches? that's what you say ready three two one go don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don Alright, well I guess we've put it off long enough time for the breakdown and I'm just going to say that this movie starts off by Punishing you for wearing headphones and then proceeds to punish you for having eyes connected to a cerebrum. You get rid of the cerebrum, it's just lights, it's just awesome. Wow, I wrote in my notes, oh shit, am I a terminator? I hope I'm a terminator. Well this movie starts out like a caricature of itself, right? So you just see these weird bubbles popping out and there's faces that'll just say like quantum mechanical and then zoom away or whatever. Yeah, just one little thing.

I hear the best science happens one tweet at a time. Oh, yeah. That's true. I heard that in a tweet. Everyone streaming past you saying nonsense is actually a really good summary of this movie. So hey, if you don't want to watch the movie along with us, but you do want to know what it's like, just tune into the first 30 seconds. There you go, you got it.

It's just more of a... Yeah, that's the whole movie in a nutshell. So yeah, eventually one of these little weird bubbles pops and we find our way onto a train station where we will meet Marley Matlin who will never be on Blues Clues again. Burn that fridge, lady bridge lady. Yeah, this movie did terribly, but she never heard. And she's hopping a train from Portland to Crazy Town. Yeah, right. My music note here is, as you relax into this post, touch the roof of your mouth with your tongue to close the circuit. So yeah, so apparently she's

in a museum or a movie or something. Now, the way that this movie is framed right, it's basically a documentary. It's a Talking Heads movie, but they interweave this meaningless story of Marley Matlin as the deaf photographer on Prozac or whatever to try to make it seem like you're getting more. So it's going to be really confusing to try to break this down. We'll just keep having a cut in with the talking heads and what they're saying. But we meet her going to some weird museum movie in the Oasis or something. Yeah. And based on the music at this point, I'm

guessing she's about to come out and do some Cirque du Soleil stuff. That would have been nice. Or she's part of the starting lineup for the Trailblazer. She was one of the other. And she didn't either, it was very disappointing, honestly. And this is where we hear one of the talking heads say, have you ever seen yourself through the eyes of someone you've become? And I wrote in my notes, no, but if I carry you on my back, will you teach me the force?

Yeah, but it's nope credits. Again, it over and over again. The first fully spoken sentence in this movie is, are all realities existing simultaneously? Yeah, yeah, a lot of the nope credits. So, and then we get these, like a series of out of context quotes about quantum physics, right? Some of these provided by saying people who kind of are

telling true things out of context, some of them are just completely insane. And then we learn that if history is any guide, all the shit that we think is wrong. Again, nope credits. Well, they're just asking questions. You know, they're, they're the Jill Stein type of crowd. They're just asking questions. And I feel like they're missing a decent chunk of science there, aren't they? I mean, what's it called? Like on swears? Like there's like, you want to keep going at that point you started

but you didn't really go anywhere with it. You almost got to step one yeah so and and to give you an idea just how bad the quantum woo is in the first scene bad universe Steve Jobs says quantum mechanics puts responsibility squarely in your lap. What? Yeah, there's lots of different sciences that really deal with how much personal responsibility you bear for them. Well, quantum mechanics things were old enough to decide on the answers ourselves. He literally, I'm not making fun of him, he actually says that, I'm not making fun of

him yet. You know, they're giving quantum mechanics human characterist, I expect that somebody is like, quantum mechanics kind of likes to rub it into our tits when you're done. It's just kind of weird at that point because you're done. I mean, it just kind of makes your tits look so sexy 15 seconds ago, but now, right. I don't mind.

I'm not going to tell you what the answer is because you're old enough to decide for yourself quantum physics slash a dad trying to gain his teenage son's respect. And then we give the title screen, you're like, holy shit, there was this much bullshit before the title. Right. This is where we meet the diet doctor pepper of Deepak Chopra, which is surprising because Deepak Chopra is the diet doctor pepper, Deepak Chopra. He wrote a book about sleep. I mean, there is no low I didn't think we could go lower, but yeah, the point is that guy had no right to tell Trump that he hadn't read the cops He and right before the title credits come out he goes

Be in the mystery and you can really tell that he was hoping be in the mystery would catch on yeah, right? I wrote my notes stop trying to make be in the mystery work Gretchen be in the mystery would catch on. Yeah, right. And I wrote my notes, stop trying to make be in the mystery work, Gretchen. So we cut to Marley taking a picture in the 1930s or whatever, in a train station. And the Vio is saying, why are we all such a bunch of losers?

Not just me, but all of us. Why do we keep screwing up our relationships and keep getting the same shitty jobs? Why do we all, as a species, forget to close the browser and let mom see the alpaca porn? I don't. Why do we all see, keep getting the same jobs over and over? I mean, probably has something to do with marketable skill set. What the bleep do I know? Yeah, right. Right. Oh, shit with the mic on. Yeah. And then he explains to us that we've been conditioned to believe that reality is real Can't imagine how to fuck that happened. I mean he is right well, yes

And we know that's true because I'm not currently on trial for the things I've imagined about Channing Tatum Right, so that's how we know it's a good test right there. And Marley has an external ear infection. Yeah. Well, yeah, she's only that because she tries to observe sounds and then can't. Well, wait, it's, it's something like that. It's complicated. They will get it. We'll get deeper and deeper into it as we go.

And then we meet another one of our talking heads. I have him down as thin version of Eli in high school. Yeah, I have him as David Silverman's disappointing son slash Ben Shapirolers That was vegan Louis Anderson. Yeah, oh nice nice Yeah, and he's telling us about house when we stub our toes It's because we want the because we decide to be in pain or something. Well, past philosophers believe that if you kick a rock, it's real. That's also true.

But nowadays, I think we just trust that the rocks are real. Wasn't sure what point he was making. Not gonna lie, not sure where he was going with that. We're a slave to physical objects. That's it. So if someone in this movie kicks a large rock as hard as they can without getting hurt, I will put that rock inside of it. That is my little girl. They did another Patreon goal for us right there. We write that one down.

And then we also get another talking headwaves as a human porky pig chimera and he explains that pet scans exist. Yeah, I have him as steam roller, John Ritter. It's about right. Oh, no, that's who I had as vegan, Louis Anderson. Oh, yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Steam roller, John Ritter kind of triggered a quorum.

Not a super pure roller, but okay. And we're looking around this train station while we're getting all of these dumb voiceovers. And I just want to point this out because I was a street performer for a while. They show money just pouring into the street musicians guitar case, least realistic part of this fucking movie. No way. And this train station is fucking crazy. There's kids blowing bubbles, and guy playing guitar, a clown riding, a dildo unicycle, carrying his father's casket. It's just a

nightmare. And meanwhile, Marley who's supposed to be taking pictures with this 1920s camera from like a slave auction that she bought. She's looking at it like, I have no idea what this is. Like, if I stumbled into a camera in the dark, I would be operating it with the same efficacy as Marley is in this scene. And the thing that we're really supposed to learn from this scene other than the shit

that the people are reading off of the random D-Pock quote generator is that Marley is on meds for her anxiety. What kind of meds? I don't know, the bad pharma. Yeah, exactly. Big pharma meds as well. Prescription M&M's as far as I can tell by looking at them. Yeah. It takes half the movie for us to establish that that's anxiety medication for all we know It could be a fucking antibiotic for something that she's got going on

You know, we don't know because the people who made this movie and the people who watch it just know taking pills is bad Well, that's the thing is if it had been an antibiotics They would have had the same message right which is terrifying which would be stopped taking antibiotics Yeah, rub rub some maple syrup in it. I don't do the trick. So then we cut to Marley showing up at home. This is where we meet her roommate, who this movie would postulate that we should be more like.

Right. This roommate is every girl who you go on a first Tinder date with and she wants to like do a make your own cupcake class and Halfway through you pretend to get food poisoning cuz I ain't got time to deal with that shit Pigtails and full pajamas. You're a full grown woman. Yeah, this is an adult Hentai character It was Out of his astro boys little sister. She is acceptable only at Burning Man. That is the only time this person is acceptable to exist. And this is also where we meet my absolute favorite

of the talking heads. The German lady who's dressed like the sacrificial Star Trek Ensen. Ah, stiffer mom. Yes, yes, that's her. Yeah, exactly. This is where the lady says that the camera has no judgment And I said trust me the camera has judgment. It just added 12 pounds to your dead face

And this is what like this is such a terrible analogy because she's talking about how like your brain is like a camera And I'm like no, it's not and it's especially a bad analogy for your purposes because the truth would actually make your bullshit better. Right? Is it possible that our eyes see more than our brains can consciously protect? And it's like, no, it's the opposite of that. Your vision is like filling in all the blanks

that your eyes don't see, which would actually make your bullshit more viable. So you've got the wrong analogy and explained it wrong to make your job harder. You fucking twat. Yeah. To be fair though, she's really building up to one of my favorite bits of woo ever, which is the Native Americans couldn't see Columbus's ship's bullshit. Because I don't know if you know this, you can't see anything you've never seen before. Right, right. Well, that's why all babies are blind.

It makes her a sense. For ever. They're blind forever, yeah. Yeah, exactly. That was actually the other one. That was the, I have her as the lunch lady and the tie-dye mumu. Oh, yeah.

That was hers and this, she's the saddest fucking story in this whole thing because she's a legitimate scientist, right? She's the person who like discovered opioid receptors or whatever and then fell into woo and this whole thing, because she's a legitimate scientist, right? She's the person who discovered opioid receptors or whatever, and then fell into woo and started doing all of this crazy shit and never helped society again. I got really depressed when I saw her, but yes, they actually go through

and have a flashback demonstration about how them engines could not, I'm not talking about like, that they didn't recognize them as threats, but that they could not see, physically physically were incapable of viewing big boats. Yeah. And this is done through a very, very tasteful portrayal of Native Americans. The Washington Redskins mascot is there and he pokes Marley in the eye.

So poked by an Indian, which is my far less popular touched by an angel remake. I don't know why that didn't take off. You neither. Seems like it should have. Yeah, and by the way, like I want to point from just a historical perspective that when Columbus first landed in the New Orleans, he landed on an island left, came back to that same island, and everyone had died of European diseases.

So who does she propose this story was told by? Marley Madison. But you were going from Matlin there. It's funnier that way. I'm just going to read it that way. So then Marley wakes up and my music notice people in the matrix are fucking. And we have this little flashback to her catching somebody fucking somebody somebody or something that's good turn out, that was her husband. And that'll be, I guess, important, whatever, right,

which she has severe PTSD from that she will stop taking your medication for later in the movie. So spoilers. Also, my, my music note for this scene was, here at the alien factory, we make green ooze. And then we go, we get a little more time with Eli Jr. and you can tell this guy smart by the screen saver on his Commodore and the fact that they put him in a lab coat to sit next to his desktop. Yeah, this guy's a doctor. Hey, man, can you bring up a picture of a brain on your Windows 95 computer? We want to make you look real?

Doctorie Pretty sure he's got a shift at Dwayne Reed later Yeah, providing all the meds they needed to get through this dumb shit and basically he just presents hard solipsism like no one ever thought of that before or whatever and said but but but but doesn't present it as a mental exercise Presented as reality like he's like no. There is no out there out there. Yes, fucking Yoga instructor pillow talk the movie. There is no spooniness wonderful Eat your soup Brian. Just eat your fucking soup. How can I You are holding a spoon. I can't even touch the spoon, guys.

You did not need to bring your lab coat to this day. No more Halloween adventure for you. So now we cut back to Marley and she is teasing the labia of her coffee cup or something. Yet so much of this movie is about to be a lesbian porn and then it takes a hard right turn into who it's very disappointing. Oh yeah. So this is Marley telling her fucking weird ass roommate about the dream that she had about the Indian guy poking her in the head and the the roommate says oh maybe it was a past life for a parallel universe. Marley says get real. Sorry I hate to correct you a little bit of

damage. She says don't give. She doesn't say get real. She says good moon. She goes for get real. Yes. And this was the first time that she talks out loud in this movie and look Marley's a really talented actress who's done some amazing work But the fact that they were just like yeah, don't worry about it. We're never gonna explain this or talk about it Just go for it. Yeah, yeah, no she she looked like perpetually lost like fucking Bill Murray and lost in translation or whatever through this entire fucking thing And and also this is just a minor thing, but when the roommate walks away, she goes, Amanda, you're such an asshole,

or hopefully we can escape the Eli impersonation on that one. She is Amanda, that is her character's name. She's not calling a roommate an asshole. She's calling herself an asshole. Just in case, you know, you were gonna try to keep track of who these characters were, they didn't wanna make it easy.

Yeah, I guess you're supposed to choose through quantum mechanics or whatever, who's who. And speaking of her like saying, oh, get real about a past life or a future life, there is a woman in this movie introducing this scene speaking through a demon that she is channeling. And who can't say get real? And then one of your talking heads

is literally speaking through a past life They believe they have well, but that's the thing though this movie is trying to convince you that Marley the person who hears Oh, it was a parallel universe or a past life and says oh come on give me a fucking break is the bad guy It's only not a parallel universe because she doesn't believe Yes, we should be more like the pig tail Leave. Uh-huh. Yes, we should be more like the pig tail, jammy wearing fucking roommate. Amazing.

Also, of course, they have to have the dig in the pills, right? Because the roommate goes, well, maybe you should try different anxiety pills, and she clings to like a crack addict, you know? Fuck you, Brianna. They're fine. Yeah. So, now it's time for more bullshit. This time with a fountain in the background. And this guy who's talking now is

He looks like someone stole his hair while he was talking. No one's had the heart to tell him. And he's talking quantum physics from the perspective of complete horse shit, right? They should say later that he like teaches it at a university, but if you look it up It's like he graduated from like maharishi university and then is now their physics teacher or whenever so yeah And the question he's asking is where do particles go when they aren't here to which I responded to their other family in Des Moines, okay? I love to they keep introducing these new new scientific terms without making any attempt to define them. That's a sign that you're trying to explain to people how shit works.

This is also where he says, how come we can remember the past, but we can't remember the future? Huh? You ever think about how weird it is that we can remember the past but not the future at which point I wrote I can remember your future you hit on a 19 year old TA and take earlier time I'm just reading about how the wage gap is bullshit. There you go Also small thing here we get another scientist come up and he has true He doesn't open his mouth during talking. He's just clenched the whole time

It's really it's like a physics lesson from Eddie Vetter with tetanus Dreams in particles and dreams and waves And now speaking of observers we come to the infamous basketball scene. Yeah, hey, Christian movie bingo. There's a magical black character in this movie. And bad sportsing. So this is a double. You get a double here.

So yeah, so she's just walking down the street and this basketball rolls in front of her. And she looks like it at it like it's a severed fucking head. And that and there's a random little black kid that wants to play basketball with her in the magical basketball court of quantum physics. What that translates to is whatever you could do, you do in this basketball court, which thought out to its logical conclusion is just a a basketball court filled with infinite possibilities of her in every single conceivable position, but this means that like she could miss or swish You see miss or those two possibilities of how particles can align in a basketball court

Yes, exactly and this is when they really this is where your teacher, because this is where they get into the whole, it never touched you. It's mostly empty. So nothing in the world is ever happening. You know, like, okay, okay, I get A and B. Let's back up. Right. And he uses this because he checks her in the chest with a basketball, which I'm just saying, don't check a deaf woman in the chest with a basketball. She's not going on. It's not the same as your buddy. And when she's like, ow, that hurt. He's like, oh, did it? Or did it ditched?

And she's like, it did. And he's like, oh, well, step into my magic basketball court. We need some nonsense illustrated by me running in a circle. Oh yeah, I mean, are we supposed to believe that she took the wrong pills or took too much? Is that what this is? Like, we're going deep into the anti-pharmaceutical thing here? But no, this is like their actual vehicle. They're like, all right, how can we introduce the fact that

when you turn around, there's a hundred basketballs, but then when you turn back around, there's only one. What if she walks on to a matching basketball court, dude, call it a day. Yeah, well, no, this is real. I mean, every time you look at a basketball, you murder a cat. Is that the way that you see it? I heard that's how I was. Only if you open it, right? Right, right.

It's mostly empty otherwise. So, and that's the thing is that like, that would be as close to getting it right as they do in this movie. It explains that physics work in both directions in time. Therefore, back to the future is a documentary. A few people. Also, the music for this like mind blowing revelation, she's supposed to be having is the orcs or cons. It could not be less appropriate. I had, I hope, Legolas makes it in time. This black eight year old is explaining quantum woo and we're sp- I kept expecting her to turn around with our barbarian with the sword is

like I've got next. You guys playing one-on-one or do you want to get shirts and skins going on? What's the deal here? I'm a rap star. So I'm normally channelled by a Star Trek lady but they have decided to come out on my own. And this, okay, so we've talked about this guy a little bit, the discount Depock Chopra guy that they got. This dude is incapable of sounding sane. Like even when he says true shit, I'm like no. No, if this dude ordered a sandwich from me, I would doubt him.

I'm sure you want that shit on Rye, I don't think so. Is there Rye or is that only your eye? Stop, get out. Stop being... Cut off. I refuse you business because you're brown. I'll take the consequence.

It's worth it. Nope, it's worth it. That's the story I'm sticking with. I love too. I got this one bit where this guy explains. He's like, objects big enough to be seen with a naked eye can be in two places at once. You can photograph that shit. And we could show you some of those photos, but we're not gonna because you wouldn't believe us. We know you and it would just be a picture of two dots. Well, he admits he's like and that would not be impressive.

Yeah, I think that's true. Hold on, I'm gonna check. Yeah, well, he literally... Yeah, that's stupid. The movie's supposed to be. The two dots didn't do it for me. But I love that we're now justifying our scientific theories with the use the excuse to corane uses for not making with the war angels. That's good to know. So, okay, so now like we we at Marley's at a fountain or whatever feeling depressed, we get more dollar store depock ramblings. I have to reflect on the fact that his English is literally worse than the death chicks. Right. And this is where we get one of my favorite lines in the movie.

The guy whose hair was stolen by a bird and again no one's told him yet, he says, we've gone into every orifice you have to find an observer. What? Where they're, when was the day where they looked up someone's ass for the observer? That's what I want. When was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not, when was the not,'s what I want. Where was the not-nostril day where they're just sitting around and he's like, we should do nostril. Like, if we don't do nostril and then in 30 years someone does nostril and the observer's there, we're going to look stupid. Yeah, we're going to look stupid. But now, amazingly

enough, he uses this as a presentation that-that there is an observer. Like, The fact that we haven't been able to find the observer proves that it exists. What's because they're trying to observe an observer? Oh, that's the problem. It's in all our observations. We've never seen observations. I don't really know how this breaks down, but I think it means that I have found the clitoris. That's what I'm going to get at. I've found it. I've found all of it. Well, found the clitoris. That's what I'm getting. I've found it. I've found all of it. Well, every possible clitoris.

Now, did you look inside the four layered biobody suit? And that is not, by the way, a metaphor for the man in the boat. That is a quote from his fucking movie. Yeah, Ripley's God. Ripley's God. Oh, I see. Yeah, he's talking about the body, but because he's a booster, he can't just go inside the body

He calls it the four layers of the bio body suit which again Belongs in a sci-fi movie not a documentary that claims to be about fucking Sci-of-Rice Un-fucking believable and meanwhile in our silly little story or whatever Marley it comes across a bum and a dog and drops to her knees to take pictures of that real quick or something. Right. She's super inspired to take pictures of a guy almost petting a dog, a lady opening

an umbrella, and a man sitting down. At which point, because this movie can't even be consistent with its own bullshit, she hears her cell phone Where it rings not on her person right is it a purse? Yeah, right and then pulls out her nicon phone Which has perfect face time on the tiny little screen and has a face time with her boss. Yes in the 2004 movie Yeah on the fucking real and is it and and just to let you this is just we that's just a tip just to see how it feels This next scene is so fucking insane. We get a brand new talking bald guy and he's gonna tell us all about how they meditated all the murder out of Washington DC

Right and apparently they predicted they would be able to do this successfully ahead of time. They predicted exactly a 25% drop in violence due to meditation. Out, how did they arrive at that estimate? Like, what does that regression model look like? They're just going, like, how hard are you going to meditate? And you, like, medium, like, medium well? What did you see? You got to pick one or the other.

We can't do medium, medium well, what? You got to pick one or the other we can't do medium medium well Right and there's this fantastic moment where he goes you know at the beginning the police were like that's bullshit But by the end the police were hiring a new meditation for us That's why every town and city in the country has a meditation department and their local police Yeah, why the fuck are we still doing that that if it worked or bring in four times as many and get that up to Well, and I just want to put out this actually is a real study And I only know that because in 1994 the dude in this movie won an igno Bell prize for that stupid fucking study in 94 after they did it the murder rate went up, right?

But then they retro predicted that it would have gone up more Without their meditation. That's how they arrived at the number the 25% number Unfuckin real, but what if all those meditators had been murdering instead? Publish it as evo psych they'll get it and Again, they they take the most asinine like you can't imagine how anyone takes this seriously claim and they stick it right next to the most mundane of fucking course claim. Like this one lady goes like,

well people affect the reality that they see. I'm like, if a fucking course they do, that's part of being like, I'm not a tree. Everybody but the guy from Johnny got his gun. Yeah, and trees affect the reality too. Well, that's that true. Yeah, I guess, that consciously, but yeah, if I didn't affect the reality around me I wouldn't have to wear this angle bracelet

Actions have consequences nor would you exist in any fucking real way So also this is where like Marley is she's rushing to work because her boss just facetimed her about being late and she drops her anxiety She's rushing to work because her boss just facetimed her about being late and she drops her anxiety pills all over the train Platform so she misses the train and I just wrote that's how big farm it gets you Yeah, she missed the train because she was busy picking up her poison am I right? Joe who's with me and the way she opens the pill bottle or tries to unsuccessfully it's like she's doing an infomercial on QVC Better pill bottles just like milk spills on her at an old air for no reason isn't making spaghetti tough yeah so there's got to be a different way and this is another this is how they safe joke cleverly leave this is how they cleverly weave the the next bit of

this movie and I write like they want to present this new information, this new scientific information. So while she's waiting for the next train, it just so happens that someone has set up a demonstration of this new science that they want to talk about. Yeah. Liza Manelli is giving a tour of the famous Pictures of Water experiment. Yeah, this is the water gets sad when you yell at it, portion of the documentary about science. Well, the lady who again looks like Liza Monelli got burned all the way at the end of arrest the development, explains that water is the most receptive of the element of the four elements.

The four of the four receptive to what? Sexual advances. I mean, I can see that because he goes right in and out again But what is that? Receptive the other ones are wind hydrogen and oxygen those are the other Those yeah, I mean more stuff to the other one super obstinate about things Wind and hydrogen water yeah, and the whole time she's showing these pictures right of these water crystal She's like here's sad water that's been damned up and here's happy water that's been blessed by a monk. And apparently, you don't even have to like say happy stuff. You can just put happy words on the jar with the water

and that will make the water happy. Right. So for those who are not aware of this fucking crazy town experiment, a crazy Japanese man took several jars of water, wrote like, I love you, I hate you. Hey, do you have, do you know what time it is? Are you going to finish that sandwich on different jars of water? Then he froze the water because water can read all the languages and took pictures of what the water looked like when he put those labels on it. And that is, and so like the, the I love you water looks all pretty and the I hate you water looks all mad. And so yeah, 90% of our bodies are water.

Therefore, if you wrote, Chi of love on your body, you'd look like a snowflake? Yes. And I just wanna point out that like the way he obtained these results was by looking through the ice crystals until he found one that matched the thing. If this has never been replicated, obviously, it's complete horse shit wool on every fucking level.

And they present it like this is cutting edge science. Yeah, this is basically the science version of your little cousin pointing up at a blob cloud and going, it's a dog and you being like, shit dude you should publish it next up on our TED talk is it's a dog by Alan four years old Alan go ahead it was a dog fascinating so yeah and so and the I guess the connection they're trying to make is they say well you know the water knows whether it's happy or sad and 90% of your body is water which is wrong by the way don't get the fucking percentage right uh... and and in case you don't get the connection

emaciated Louis ck as a serial killer from a csi episode turns and explains it to the camera in direct address literally the mayor from buffy always he literally one of the characters from buffy could not be a less influential uh... he's not the mayor he's one of the Buffett could not be a less influential He's not the mayor. He's one of the characters, but could not be a less influential or interesting actor It's like they got the guy from Arthur who's the florist to be coming and be like, huh? What do you think? Danny Trejo walks in makes a lot of sense This point I was wondering why Marley doesn't just put on a name tag that says I can hear.

But man, oh, do I sound like? Have I been sounding? Guys, you should have told me. That's how I sound it. I can 90% hear right now, I think. That's 10% of my non-water body. So I can't quite get it. And so now that Titei Lunch Lady shows back up, up to explain how thoughts can change the body with the help of

but rum the channel through jade night and and i like she's she goes goes to this incredibly long explanation about how your thoughts can change your body i'm like i just thought i'm gonna lift my arm it changed my but what a fucking course think i would what the hell are you even trying to say right music note here by the way someone just did something very impressive in Cirque de Soleil. Yeah, practically the whole movie, music note wise. But then she extrapolates from the fact that when you think about moving your arm, it moves to,

you can walk on water if you believe hard enough. Well, that's not her. That's the guy who raped the Lucky Charms. Oh, right, right, yes, this is, yeah. So we meet's the guy who raped the Lucky Charms. Oh, right. Right, yes. This is, yeah, so we meet this Irish guy who raped the Lucky Charms Lepricon, which by the way, if you watch those commercials, as that Lepricon's just a rape victim running because he has terrible PTSD, it adds a whole layer of drama to those commercials.

I highly recommend it. See, what I always do with those commercials say is they think about him with the angle bracelet, he's just trying to stay 500 feet away from the kids not touching the kids electrons doesn't count They're chasing me they're chasing me The woodsman starring that leopard into it But yeah, he proposes literally if you believe in your heart you can walk on water You can do it but but don't because you don't believe in it. Yeah, well, you just have to show the water a sign that says ice Tape solid to the water. Yes

It won't it won't stick is if I could get it on there It's a term, but I can't it's so so receptive, it keeps sinking in. Put a post at the, it says sticky. So, then the nice thing. And I love how he even like, back walks it back, but he's like, if you believed it enough, you could walk on water, but you don't. You don't believe it enough. Yeah, I had to say that the other day,

a kid drums. That's cool. I had to start. And I had plans for the other kid. I had one. So, yeah. And then we get more fucking Walmart D pocket. I'm just writing man If Eli kissed this dude he'd probably turn into a prince

But the fun game I was playing with this was like spot the real scientists right because I knew that one of these people Was a real scientist from a real university that was really talking about quantum physics But I didn't know who so as I'm going through it I'm like I'm checking people out like okay. We know it's not gonna be romped Channel through Jay-Z night. We know it's not tied. I lay right slowly people eliminate themselves Yeah, like a guy would be like and I can move shit with my brain Okay, he's off the I got a funny feeling. It's the guy that keeps getting awkwardly cut. Okay. What about you bench appear rollers? Come on you could just be a doctor who doesn't know better nope

He got almost all the way until he started into his god bullshit So now we cut to the roommate hoping to keep the foot fetish crowd into this flick by dancing around on paint again There's movie would posit that you should be more like this human it worked the foot fetish crowd thing I kept watching. I wrote in my notes, ah, Quentin Tarantino got to direct one scene of this movie. And this is where we learned that Harumi got her a gift and no, it's not a vibrator.

Like you said, it's constantly opening up lesbian porn and not delivering. Instead, it's the stupidest fucking gift ever outside of a four year old getting something from mom from Mother's Day. Yeah, it's a scrapbook of her own pictures. Yes, that she took. Right, which would basically be like me

downloading a bunch of our podcast onto a zip disk and giving it to Noah for his project. Right. Half the same year you go. The same year you go. Because I know you're gonna make more episodes. There's Ruma, because there's blank, and she says, look, blank pages for Because I know you're gonna make more episodes. There's rumour, because there's blank pages. She says, look, blank pages for all the pictures you're gonna take.

It's not that I didn't finish this stupid thing. It was that I was thinking about. Get to work, happy birthday. And it should be pointed out at this point. Marley is playing this movie like it's a Holocaust biopsy. Every moment you, that this is the life. This is the life. So, and then we get her like dreaming about the sad water every every moment you that this is the life this is the life

So and then we get her like dreaming about the sad water so we can do flashbacks to the things that happened three minutes ago And I mean, I'm sorry did they feel like the movie was too short at this point that the two hours We were suffering through wasn't enough. Yeah, and Christian movie bingo. Hey remember two minutes ago in this movie Yeah, and Christian movie bingo. Hey, remember two minutes ago in this movie? Yeah. Yeah, fucking, uh, uh, and again, this is the fucking talking head scientist Gehiko's at the sub-nuclear level of our reality. You and I are literally one. What, but try to parse some sense out of that fucking sentence.

As entire movie is just sentences in need of justification. Yeah, and all these scientists are very clearly just trying to fuck someone on the crew. Science, sexy, smart talk, no. Just, yeah. According to science, we're already fucking in another dimension, so we might as well, uh, tell. Do you know they were doing this to people at craft services? Some poor guys just trying to set up lighting and you got Ramp-Fug being like, I sense in you and he's like, nope, nope, not when the cameras are off. Right. Not when the cameras are off. And now we get apparently Miss Piggy's

husband is gonna read us his affirmations. Oh my god. The guy who goes like, I consciously create myself every day. And for some reason I keep creating a balding overweight Steve Bishamy with a voice of Kermits Treyky out of me. Yeah. This is just swapping positive thinking for prayer like the statue in Indiana Jones. Just like, there you go. It's a vision board instead of a Bible. See now you can do it because you're mad at your dad. Good for you. Blow Eli and Colin. Yeah, that's everyone that I lived with back when I first saw this movie so and and okay So now back in the little Marley story

We get her coming out of the boss and the boss is checking out this blonde girls as we don't know who this blonde girl is all She's there for is the ass and it's a spectacular ass don't get me wrong But there's no reason for it to be in the movie that is needed to sexy it up I guess. This is for the woman who needs a hardy cough. I spent the entire time just being like, please clear your throat. But the red shirt who's about to get killed in front of Captain Kirk,

she's explaining that addiction is just a chemical rush. And that all it takes is one sexual thought for a man to have an erection. And I wrote, gee, I wish. wish and again what a bizarre fucking example first of all she says for a man to have an erection in his member I'm like oh well I don't think we're talking about this fucking Hyle Hitler sign or whatever but but but why use erection why not use twiddling of the thumbs or blinking or any other voluntary or involuntary action, it would all fit the bill. Yeah.

And she says there was nothing outside of him. This is the amazing thing. There's nothing outside of him that gave him an erection. So I wrote, maybe check inside. I mean, I don't know. Also, there probably was something outside. It's the booby that you just saw in the ass. Yeah, that I had an erection, but yeah But yeah exactly exactly caused by interior and exterior stimuli. Oh, it's me the food they

Blondering here through this thing full of love of lambs That was that's usually it So and and Marley by the way is is learning that she's got to go photograph a wedding and she's really pissed about that because she got married once too And it didn't go so well, I guess right and she hates churches weddings and guys at which point I wrote she gay is this I mean She's is this a gay, but no no it's because she got her heart broken if you remember earlier she had the PTSD Flight of the Valkyries flashback to someone fucking someone else in her apartment She got her heart broken and that's why she hate weddings Yeah, and God and religion exactly and because this movie doesn't have scenes or anything

I guess this random spot is as good as any to pause for a well-deserved break But before we do let me give back the rest of the movie the hard sound Will we jump before it on the width of understanding? Did the sly the toves guy in gimbal in the wave? What the fuck is going on here? Find out the answers to these questions or something else entirely when we return for act three of what the bleep do we know?

Hi Doc, sorry, a couple of questions was just looking over this waiver and it says you're putting a camera up my butt to find an observer, what does that mean? Okay, great question. You see, according to the Heisenberg effect, the observation of a thing fundamentally changes it. So we were thinking we might find who's doing the observation

if we put this camera in your butt. Okay, that doesn't make any sense. I'm doing the observation if we put this camera in your butt. Okay, that doesn't make any sense. I'm doing the observation. I am, you're not gonna look up my butt and like find consciousness in my colon. Well, well, we don't know that for certain. You see, matter the way, the way, the way you do it.

Larry said that you bet of 20 bucks, you could use quantum physics to get a guy to put a camera up his butt Did you oh shit sorry you're ruined it now now I only won the $20 just the one time what what oh Yeah, that that Chopra guy didn't even ask a single question. It was like super super easy. Wow. What was that like? Well, you ever try to put the giblets in an overdone turkey? Like that. But wetter. And we're back from more of these inane ramblings and we're going to start off with Marley arriving

at the church wedding so that the talking heads can crowbar in enough God talk to justify the review on this show right and this is basically the Every conversation Eli's ever had with the Unitarian Universalist portion Of the right, but is God a candle nope? He's got a book but is that what the message was? And the argument that they're all offering is, I can't remotely comprehend what God would even mean, which proves that God's really incomprehensible, but totally exists.

Right. The problem is that people think God is separate from us. But what? What? I mean, I guess what I'm saying is, what if God was one of us? You know, just a stranger on all of the pieces doing so on there, it's now.

So stupid. And then they fucking propose the lucky charms person, fucking proposes Jesus, you know, religion's done, ton of harms, killed people, it's terrible, rape, murder, mic pence, all these horrible things. But Jesus was probably talking about quantum physics

if you think about it. And yes, they used the mustard seed thing. Like on purpose, like to make their argument better. Like they only science to ever line with Jesus being right about mustard seeds is quantum physics. In a good way. I mean, this in a good way. Their proposition here is either Jesus was just wrong

to know what the fuck he was talking about or he was referring to quantum physics in a very non-obvious way. Yeah, it was probably one of those two things. Yeah, it was the whole book of formulas that got lost in the Pope's Godhead. He just won't give it out. Right.

Well, I also love the whole idea that they're just saying like if you look at what religion is done, it's been really harmful. So let's keep doing religion, but better. It's like, well, what if we snort the IOK in powder without being a Fucker you even talking about and this is where the red shirt from Star Trek goes God must be the best Really the best and Really, the best. And I wrote Donald Trump slash this woman. God's gonna be fucking fantastic. We're gonna make God great again. This woman's whole thing is, you ever been super high?

People will get this. You ever been super high and you start to monologue and you feel like you're blowing everyone's mind because you're like, and I realize the sun will never truly set. And they're like, dude, stop talking over the movie. That's the moment's whole life. And this woman does not look like she should be talking about science. She looks like she should be like selling junk bonds for Slavic dictators or like a commercial rival for doing that or something. Yeah, exactly. Well, also I love to, at one point, she's like,

she's trying to give examples of great technology, right? And here are her examples. She says, we have great technology, like anti-gravity magnets, zero point energy. Fuckin' what? You could've used cell phones or something that really exists. But instead, you just have a imaginary science fiction shit we've got jet boots and blowjob robots right we do have blowjob

robot i i i know that we on this call have blowjob robots and i figure it would be here robots existed that gave blowjumps. I would not be here right now But they have is they have a plastic thing that they call a bro job robot. It's not a blowjob No, you're when there's a realistic blowjob robot. It'll be like cell phones Then they had him first they came out and they were car phones are the size of a fucking backpack And everyone was like those are cell phones were like fuck you those are in cell phones First guy that came out with the cell phone Cell phone everyone had a fucking cell phone. That's how low job robots are gonna work

And I can't fucking wait. Can you imagine that it'll come out at about the same time as self-driving cars? Yeah, we'll be doing a lot of touring then folks so now we cut to the wedding and In this wedding. And in this wedding, we're just circling Denver. It is. Can we use the tailpipe now? Let's use the tailpipe. It's, it's, switch it up.

My birthday. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it And I just love okay the husband in this wedding is I fucking every woman that moves right well No, she's having a flashback to her wedding where her husband I Fuck everything that moves. Yeah, I see I guess so obvious Yeah, she's having a she's having a flashback which also includes her memories of the wedding march Which I mean look I guess maybe she knew that it was going to understand her memory has sounded. It doesn't play out. This is also where we learn that your brain is like a thunder cloud and a thunderstorm. And it's a puzzle your brain is.

So, hey! This might as well be like Seinfeld's doctor describing heartburn as lightning bolts in your circle area. That's a really. It comes down your tube, yeah, exactly. So yeah, yeah, so and I want to point out, I haven't mentioned this yet, but when I watched this movie, I found it free online, but it had Polish subtitles. And I feel like this was the crossover point where the Polish subtitles made more sense

than the shit they were saying in the movie. Up. Just a backwards V and you're like, I get it. I get it. Yeah, like at this point with somebody would say something correct. It's like I found an Easter egg. Like, hey guys, guys.

Ooh, 48 minutes, 18 seconds, true thing. Yeah, okay, and about this question, does the brain look like a neon sign made of vaginas? As far as you know, is that true? Is that um, no, is that what vagina looks like? You guys have girlfriends, skeptics. Yeah, no, I thought the brain looked more like the evil forest and wizard of us, but I like the pussy joke way better. And this is where we learn that the brain looked more like the evil forest and wizard of us, but I like the pussy joke way better And this is where we learn that the brain doesn't know the difference between sight and memory

What's that which is why you know every time I think about a bear I scream and run into the other room He's following me. He's following me. That is like the entire Precept of this movie or the the argument that they're trying to make here is that your brain doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality. Therefore reality is imagination. This breaks down on every single level. Like there's no, none of those precepts work. The conclusion doesn't follow.

Everything is wrong about that. Yeah. That is called psychosis. The not knowing the difference between what's in your head and what's outside of your head. That's called a hallucination. Yes, it can be triggered by psychosis and or drugs and or both. Yeah, there's a fun way to do that and not so fun way to do that. Either way, it's not supposed to happen all the time.

I understand many of the talking heads in this movie, it happens all the time. Yeah. Because they should be taken some of Marley's devil pills. Yeah, no, shit. You think ramp this talking through you. You're not the baseline that we should be judging by. Well, and in this point, she says all emotion is holographically implanted chemicals. Again, that's not even wrong. You're not even close enough to a meaningful statement for it to be disproven at this point when she said that though I like pictured little two pot chemicals doing a little music do at Michael Jackson on the stage of my brain that's probably

what's going on there yeah but then my brain can't tell them apart. Oh, damn. Well, tell them to keep apart from the, or keep far away from that CGI hypothalamus that we see in this movie. I'm like, uh, I'm like, uh, that could be a danger. A little, a little, honestly, that it should be warning us that it's a trap, but according to this graphic that they show us here, your hypotha, your pulsating hypothalamus is a little Lego factory

that puts together little toys for all the little mucinx monsters that live in your hormones. Yes. This is where we learn that when you're sad, your brain gets wired to be sad. Right. Yes, exactly. I had a truly reflective moment here because like, I have depression. I've been on and off medication

I have family members who are on medication whose lives are saved by medication and I just had this wistful moment of Man, I wished I believed I could just positively think my way out of it. Don't you do wouldn't it be nice if it's just like Oh, man, I just got to train my brain to think happy thoughts Well, I think it's your peptides aren't erect enough Kind of rapy too, maybe they're not being forceful enough. Yeah, we do see some fucking peptide rape going on here. And okay, so we're getting all of these, like she's at the reception right for the wedding. And now the movie just because it hasn't been insane enough,

starts to show us these little cartoon amoebas that are supposed to be your cells, right? Like so when you get like happy, it shows a bunch of little happy cells dancing around and when you're drunk, all the cells are drunk or whatever. And that's what they're presenting as the reality of your universe. Yeah.

Yeah, so this is the side effects of the meds clearly. Yeah, and this is the side effects of the meds clearly yeah, and this is just totally insane because Marley is Basically in the reality of this movie having a psychotic break she looks around she sees everyone is a pair She's taking pictures of fucking nothing sure like cameras down her side Pushing the butt Over and over it's fucking terrifying the hypothalamus looks like the inside of Zion when it was being attacked No fucking sense none of this and at the same time there these very like cutesy cartoons running around that are supposed to represent Our emotions like you have like you have a white blood cell a red blood cell and a lost blood cell

I just need a transfusion of smiley yellows. Right. That went to the trick. And at one point, the fucking idiot talking heads is like, each cell was alive, and I'm like, okay, so far so good, so far so good, and each one has a consciousness. Nope. Oh, you lost me.

You were so close. Not really that close for fuck's sake. And like we even have like like the fat guy at the buffet and his cells are all getting excited and farting and putting on bibs and shit. That's how bad it gets. Yeah. And also, it just in terms of damaging messages here, the message that they're basically trying to send is if you can't control your emotional state, that's your own damn fault. Right, because we get an interstitial moment with this woman who sells her sad, and they want her to be a victim. So she's like her friend spills coffee on her, and she's like, I knew this was going

to happen. It's like, oh yeah, the lack of positive thinking is while liquid spilled on her dress. Yes. Yes. And it's really insidious. Like, these are the second most insidious cartoons I have ever seen. There are anti-Jew cartoons from World War II that are slightly less damaging than these cells bumping along being like, you can think you're way out of depression.

I expected them to do a fucking stop taking your men's musical number. Right, well, they practically fucking do here in a minute, but yeah, they actually show it one, okay, so, so Marley is really upset. She's not having a good time at the wedding, and you know how the photographer that you hire for the wedding is supposed to have a good time, right? And enjoy the, so else.

Anyway, so- That's what's important. Yeah, and she's convinced that everyone's fucking everyone at this party, so again, it's just a psychotic break. Also, is the photographer supposed to be dressed like a baseball umpire? Is that what you're doing for your wedding? Because that's literally inappropriate everywhere,

except the baseball field, so I understand it. Heath, for the third time, you cannot wear a baseball umpire outfit to my wedding. Can I wear the dress for the photographer't matter if the photographer stressed that way. One other question, um, at your wedding, is your color scheme going to be ecto cooler, like this couple? That is true. That is, that is, that is.

Okay. All right, awesome. Awesome. I look totally reasonable. So, so Marley has to get away or whatever. So she runs to the bathroom, but the door's locked because there are people fucking everywhere in this wedding, Polish weddings apparently are awesome. So it says she takes some drugs.

And then we get some bullshit about, from Ramthe, about how you can never really be in love with a specific person. Right, this woman sounds like she doesn't want to say, I love you back, but she wants to keep fucking me. Exactly. This woman sounds like she doesn't want to say I love you back, but she wants to keep fucking me And then we get Marley's little breakdown she like stops the wedding the music stops and and everything so that she can yell I think what she was going for is how can you not fucking see? Yeah, I wrote Hakanana Fennity.

Yeah, what is that? Why? The best thing is like every, I mean, not to pick on her disability or anything, but like everyone at the wedding reacts like they just understood the word she said. And the music cut off. Yeah, if this is a full wedding where people are screaming and talking, but the deaf girl talks and everyone's like bored Yeah, oh

They can talk yeah, so but luckily Peewee Herman shows up to save her bacon And and this guy is phenomenal. He starts trying to do like improvised sign language to her Yeah, I wrote my notes. Hey dude. They've actually got a codified system. They're not just sounding out. They're not minds Yeah, I wrote my notes. Hey dude, they've actually got a codified system. They're not just sounded and they're not minds. Yeah, exactly. We don't just do charades to communicate now. Oh, I figured it out by the way, it's it's quipkey from Big Bang Theory. Oh, all right. Yeah, okay. You should have gone with the weird voice thing.

So yeah, so like and I guess she had thought at some point that the Groom was fucking some lady or whatever and that's what she was having her breakdown over But it turned out it was a different guy fucking one of the bridesmaids right and because like her husband fucked around on her So when she walks in on people fucking or sees people fucking nearby She just assumes that the groom who was in the other room like he would have had to magically teleport Not that this movie makes any fucking sense, but he would have had to magically teleport into room She just ran into right but instead but because like all white people look the same to Marley

She was just like my god. He's cheating on you. Also. He's president Bill Clinton. Why are you all seeing this? It all sound the same at least well. Yeah why are you all seeing this? it all sound the same at least well yeah uh... it's uh... who did who did somebody say that uh... he sounded like on cogniz oh shit who was oh you know what they said you sounded just like the situation

really really they didn't know what was or whatever is on some clip that uh... top and sees a play that like that guy sounds just like he's like that's the fucking situation. God damn it We'll rip out some throat muscles or something. They'll get some STDs on the Jersey Shore. That'd be wonderful It is a beach That's true. So then this movie gives you the whole like you know emotions aren't bad

Your bad kind of argument where we literally see like that Marley can just kick her depression Monsters away the little mucinex monsters that that want her around her feet carrying her depression can be kicked away Drunkenly and now she's just fine. Yeah, also we learn every aspect of your digestion is based on your emotion So we learn every aspect of your digestion is based on your emotion. Every, this is a quote, every sphincter that opens and closes is based on the emotions. I realized I had to have a good cry before I could shit. I realized that. This woman talking, guys, talk, she's been talking about nothing, but orifices

for this whole movie. She's a doctor, right? She's still like, it was a kind of a real form. Yeah. She just had an orgasm. And then again, she's having a really good time, but it's not. Also, we meet these two characters that they serve no function in this movie at this point. These are the two little pussy hounds. Terminator teenagers. Yeah, right. These two dorky teenagers come into the wedding looking for in their words, foxes that like to fuck or something like that. foxes who put out

That's what their computer vision is scanning for foxes who put out yeah with their Atari Terminator vision Yeah, I've been sent from the future to get statutory rape Mineral peptide processor I'm a neuropeptide processor. And- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA emotions like you'd be addicted to drugs. Look, addiction is not wanting to do a fucking thing. Alright, when I was in college, I learned all about cocaine and maybe I learned a little too fucking much. And the idea that you're just gonna take that, oh I just love to go out and spend money and call it an addiction, go fuck yourself. Go get fucking addicted to crack and then come back and tell me how it's exactly like you want to fuck people all the time You mean people don't sell their furniture for hugs?

As it turns out Yeah, and I got what the hell is This movie completely descends into insanity at this point too because we just end up with like people's News and X emotion monsters leaping out of their pants because they want to fuck each other and stuff. Right, and then they do a, then everyone in the room, all of a sudden has an IV, and they do an IV fucking bottle dance.

What? This is like your third time on acid going wrong. Like, you're all ready for it, and then all of a sudden the little bubble-mom monsters jump out of everyone's chest, and everyone's got an IV, and your teeth are falling out. It's a fucking nightmare And also like leading into this by the way they've got these little musin ex monsters doing an addicted to love

They're all like standing there doing a little musical number. They're actually have like a like a fucking quantum physics Robert Palmer and polka monster in the uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh out of anything in this movie. I have rare things like my photographer won't do that. I know where she lives. I'll kill her cats. So we get her, we get her waking up the next day all hung over and I so wanted a naked mucinous monster to be a bad beside her, you know. We didn't get that. But at least for the first time in this movie, we saw her asleep in a position human sleeping. And okay, so, so I guess like we're supposed to believe that she like stumbled drunkenly home and the the pee we heard me guy, the guy who was flirting with her,

decided to develop all the pictures she took. Well, she was in the slide them under her door. Yeah, yeah, like Robert De Niro and the fucking fan. So music note for her waking up. Yeah, like Robert De Niro and the fucking fan Also music note for her waking up this will make all the girls at this party pay attention to me Yes, yes, we are definitely getting guitar guy at the party here and then we actually look at the pictures for a second and they're all just crotch shots of Marley Matlin what like was Elliot squatting between her legs for the rest of the wedding, like, helping her. I think we were supposed to believe the little emotion monster

started taking them at a certain point or something, yeah. Ha, ha, ha. And, like, and again, the talking heads are just adding to the layers of nonsense, saying stuff like, our mind creates our body. What the fuck do you think you're talking about? Right. Well, this is where we see her looking in the mirror and because she feels sad,

she has like a fun house mirror effect. And this causes all of the happy pinks in her brain to get holocausted. It does, yes. I just wrote my notes, run, pinks, run, oh God. They literally have peptides coming down like artillery shells and blowing these things up It's so fucking insane opening scene of saving private Ryan

Yeah, I love the smell of peptides in the morning um and Then it also says like okay, so another like misdirection of real true thing It says like all aging is caused by improper protein production and I just okay Aging is caused by getting old. I heard it was also time. Yeah Is definitely a factor the signs of aging. Yes, the rinkliness and all that shit that is improper protein production But obviously that's not the context in which this fact makes sense It's not that you can't like like if your proteins like were better at not getting old and thinking they were old

You would never get a fuck off. Yeah, the solution to eternal life is not muscle milk Just never look at a clock. Yeah, that allowed to yeah this whole fucking movie is your GPS suddenly telling you to go up tire fucking Spirit of this film. And then we get, this, by the way, it's just to me the greatest red flag of Wu Bullshit when the guy goes, it's time for a course correction in our paradigm.

Those words have never been spoken by somebody who wasn't selling you Bullshit. Yeah, exactly. Everyone's about to bring out thrive when they say that to you. Right. Yeah, also extremely dangerous. Some guy just asked, does it even matter what we eat?

And then long pause does not say yes. Yeah, right. In no way does he say it does matter what we eat. No, because he didn't want to offend the breatharians that were watching this goddamn movie. To be fair, percentage wise, way more Braffarians watching this movie than anything. That's true. Both of them love this thing. Quick while they still can.

So yeah, and then we get like, we're supposed to be getting her with depression. And it includes a deaf person talking to themselves in the mirror. That seems weird. Maybe they do. I don't know. She's yelling at the mirror like Bob Odin Kirk just botched a kid napping. I hate you, idiot.

I love that. Yeah, and I wrote it at this point, Marley, she can't hear you. Yeah. Shit. So she takes a couple more of her devil pills and then takes her anger out on the toothpaste and starts smearing it around on the mirror

because that's what depressed people do. And then we spend a long time like with her looking into the mirror as we listen to dripping water, everyone's favorite repetitive sound. Yeah. And then her reflection turns into the guy from Buffy and he's like, remember the water? Your water. Well, I think we can. And we learned that she has depression because no one, we have to love ourselves and we have depression

because no one has ever taught us to dream better. It works. Dream better. Dream better. In that nice. You just didn't dream better. That's why you've got PTSD, you fucking pussy. Also, it's just this tiny moment, but it's so fucking great.

She goes like, I think you're beautiful. I think you're fantastic. I think you're God, and I wrote my notes too far, too far. Well, that's right after she goes, no one has ever told you how beautiful you are, and I'm like, no, you're thinking of you. Right. Ha-ha-ha-ha. So that's not a problem we all have together.

Wait, just quick show, Vance, who here has been told they're, oh my god. I look like an old fruit rollup wrapped around a ham. Guys, you gotta tell me this stuff. You guys are mean, that resonated with me this part. So yeah, and also we learn very clearly at this point that psychiatry is bad and you shouldn't trust medical professionals if they disagree with poor man's deepok. Yes, absolutely. We also learned that we can disappear and then he clarifies. I don't mean we physically disappear and he has to because in this movie you do have to fucking clarify that. Well we know these talking heads do think you can actually just fucking disappear which

by the way is also an episode of Buffy. I would say this movie is 44% Buffy inspired. I would be surprised if none of these people thought they could disappear none of the talking heads Like I'm sure the majority probably don't but yeah, and then this is where we learn that the true key to happiness is Writing happy shit on your body with an eyeliner pen and everyone in my eighth grade philosophy class did this It was amazing. Yeah, and then I wrote mean stuff on my body did this. It was amazing. Yeah. And then I wrote mean stuff on my body and got called into the council office because I was testing the system. I was like arm fall off and I wrote that I was like, you're really negative and I was like

man, he's gonna pay off in 18 years. I'm gonna have such a good joke. So yeah, she's she's drawing hearts on herself. And apparently this movie would tell you that that is the same as taking anxiety medicine just cheaper. I mean, we should start a test. Look here, I'm sure some of our listeners take antidepressants, go off your medications

and just fish or wreck them. Why don't you have a powerful movie to be talked about this? And start drawing hearts on you. And let us know how it goes at no illusions. Let us know how it looks out for you. Or let your next of kin let us know how it goes. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Pause for legal disclaimer.

Here. And draw, go. And by the way, she also draws, I love you on herself. But that needs to be backwards for the mirror in my, that's gonna be confusing every time to the universe. Water can read backwards and in all languages. Yeah, yeah, cause it has to be able to read the up-down languages and shit, it's complicated, it's homeopathic.

Oh. Also, by the way, depression and everything is TV's fault. It just randomly for no reason one of these guys comes up and goes, also TV is bad. Like, oh, and get off my lawn. What the fuck is coming next? And this is where leatherface explains to us that if we can change our mind, we can change reality,

which is hard to believe from someone who looks like they're actively being turned into a cartoon pig by a witch. So I was like, if I was like, I can change reality and you looked at me who I look like a shaved Harambe, you'd be like, I don't believe that, okay. What, it also to have that dude say, beauty is an unobtainable goal. I'm like, again, not for everybody,

but for you, yeah. For you, dude. It's impossible to touch your toes You don't know what that penis is because you've never seen one This is also we learned that we're the only planet that has religion and There is no right and wrong so Lick Ray Comfort? That's what I got out of that.

It does not mean the right word is getting thrown out. So, okay, so at first when I saw this, I didn't know who the fuck this woman was, but she's like, of all the planets, this is the only one with religion, and I'm like that we, that we know of, it's also the only one with fart. What the hell are you talking about? But of course, we learn later that this woman believes that she is channeling a God's spirit that has been to all the other planets with life and is telling you the difference between those planets and hours. And I feel like you should open with that, right?

If you're going to give advice, you start by saying you're channeling a God that's been to all the other planets. You know what I'm saying? I can see why maybe this movie buried it in the credits, but yeah. And like my notes at this point is how is this still not over? I mean is there more bullshit that you could possibly fucking heap onto this? And yes, and even more dangerous before it's over. We also learned that God is the water and we're the fish at which point I wrote my notes God is a DJ life is a dance floor Well God as it turns out is a super position of all the spirits from all the things and since super position is a real quantum word that sentence is true

I was like God is gaps cut cut to somebody else. No, no, we need a different new fake scientist This movie is a stupid person's Facebook post filmed Unfuckin real so we can tell we're getting to the end now because now we come back to the train station Where the whole thing started and grown up piggy from Lord of the flies has given us more of his Stuart Smolly wisdom You know, it's a way starts going like each each day I ask God to confirm my bias, and he does. So all the quantum possibilities actually don't matter because God is observing everything. Kind of deflates the whole movie here with this whole

religious thing at the end. I love too that they constantly throughout this movie, they take the whole observer concept and act like it has to be a conscious observer, right? Like the reason the basketball thing is wrong, wrong right when she turns around and there's a hundred best was all of the atoms that are interacting with that fucking basketball are acting as an observer at that moment but they act like there has to be a conscious observer and it never even occurred to them that that

part was wrong guys I've checked in two of my orifices for you. We're going to do this recording, so... Gonna side with the moon and basketball black cat. Sorry. This movie told me I could get 27 basketballs in there, I don't know. I'm just kidding. And if you're picturing Heath and I playing Chubby Bunny with basketballs, you are the listeners, I know, and love. It's okay, it's okay, they're mostly empty.

It's your turn now so I already went Touched you so so yeah, so when you want stuff that's quantum mechanics and action That's the key if you need quantum mechanics in in a nutshell It's when you want stuff and we and we cut to Marley and the bathtub being happy and clearly about to Master Bate. I'm writing to my notes, okay, it was not worth the wait, but at least they give us that, and then they don't give us that. Nope.

Like the whole fucking scene is about loving yourself, and then she doesn't fuck herself at the end. Fuck you people. It's true. Instead, we cut back to her at the movie theater slash museum slash stairway where we realized that all of this has been leading up to what if I had worn a red jacket instead of a blue one? These are the deep cosmic questions at the end of this movie, but no, they just all meld

into her like jet leaves the one. Right. Right, yeah, she's walking around and everybody is Marley Matlin, like a buster, Keaton, short, except not entertaining. Yeah, she's in the Malkovich Malkovich universe. Yeah, right. Do you ever wear God's face as a skin mask? Yeah.

Would you, I'd wear me. I am. Can I be much more than more? No, you can't. That doesn't make sense. And this is a phenomenal moment. So they ask all the idiots now what the point of life is, right? You can tell that that's what they've been asked. And this guy's answer, who we haven't talked about yet, bald on the top, beard on the bottom. Yeah, the guy who looks like skinny desert Matt Dillahunti,

right? Right. Yeah, exactly. He looks like Matt Dillahunti got trapped inside a sauna. Right, right. Yeah, exactly. He looks like Matt Dillahunti got trapped inside a sauna Right, and he says they're all answering this. What's the important part of life or what why are we here? And he says we are here to infiltrate space To acknowledge the quantum self. Yes, I wrote these are the worst life goals ever Occupy space. I'm doing it guys. I'm crushing it And also we're all supposed to become gods wait this is boot camp for gods that we're doing right now Right, I guess God's quantum proteins are getting all fucked up so we Place him well you see we can be like Buddha or Jesus and I wrote in my notes

Oh, can I be like Buddha? I like his thing better I mean the selling your kids into slavery thing, but just saying between the two I got like I want the Jesus abs and everything else like Buddha. Yeah, I mean at one point like somebody says like the point of life Is to find new elsewhere's of thought. I'm like that's such bullshit my spell check called you on it Did you mean? Do. Paper clip shows up. It looks like you're full of shit.

So yeah, so she now, now that she's quantum free, I guess, she goes to sleep on a park bench in the middle of Portland. Yeah, at least realistic part of the movie for me. Marley Matlin goes to sleep on a park bench in the middle of Portland. Yeah. At least realistic part of the movie for me. Marley Matlin goes to sleep on a park bench and doesn't wake up covered and homeless come. Yeah. Right. Or at least like pickled or something.

She's important. Well, that's this movie's postulation is if you're sleeping on a park bench, that's a sign things are going right for you. Everyone in this movie calls yoga a practice. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha pills no more. Right. And in a final act of fucking dangerous advice, because up until now, the movie has sort of been hinting at the like anti-farm thing, but in a final act of, we want to make sure we fucking kill someone with this movie. She sets up for a basketball shot, throws her pills at a trash can where it magically

transforms into a basketball, goes into the garbage, and she is free of her medical condition. Yes. Yeah, and she can now whip the magical quantum black kids ass at basketball. Yeah, because we see that. It would have been better to have Eli fuck away her depression. That would have made more sense here. For several reasons. That's not the least of which I would have gotten to shoot that scene.

And then yeah, right. And then we end the movie with the kid with a black kid asking, you know, he's like, you never answered my question, probably because I'm talking to you in your death, but whatever, how deep down this rabbit hole do you want to go? That's actually what the underage kid says to her and Butt stuff that's what stuff. It's gotta be butt stuff. That's my new pickup line Crazy billionaire money I remake this but instead of the like woo what the blip do we know?

It's just the words butt stuff in the same what the believe do you know But stuff things were old enough to make the decision ourselves. But stuff puts the responsibility square in your lap. Yeah, I like it. I like it. I like it. I think this bottle of water that says butt stuff on the side. Perfect.

Oh man, I'm going to write butt stuff on a bottle of water and then take a picture. It'll turn out like Goatsy. Yeah. Google that. Google that and show it to your kid don't look at it first though just Google it show your son I was thinking about ask him to describe it to you I was thinking about writing butt stuff on my wife's back while she was asleep or something yet I just maybe might work it might work I have never more deserved a

cookie in my fucking life y'all that's the end of this stupid goddamn movie and of course okay so in a normal documentary, the practice is when you first meet a talking head at the bottom, it'll say, you know, so and so, professor of such and such, at such and such a university you've heard of, or something, you know, author of the whatever. In this stupid fucking movie,

they have to save all that shit for the end, in hopes that you'll turn it off before you start seeing the actual credentials of these people because if they showed these people's credentials when they first appeared you would turn this movie off because they're pre-chirprector. Yes, that was one of them. Scholar at the Institute of Noetic Science. Look that one up on quack watch. Yeah, and professor of physics at some made up bullshit yoga school. The Maharishi University of Management. He is the Professor of Physics at the Maharishi University of Harvard. It's great. Right. One of them is just an anesthesiologist. Right. Talking about quantum mechanics and that the fucking leprechaun guy was a professor of theology

Right, yeah, and of course the the king of all of them and we've hinted around about it quite a bit is Jay-Z night Well, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. They do not credit her as Jay-Z night They credit her as rum thaw to these 35,000 year old lamerian warrior spirit from Atlanta's lamerian and from Atlanta's guys anyway. And apparently, Romthud has the voice of a middle-aged lady trying to fit in at her first rent fair. Well, actually, she tones it down. If you go on YouTube and look at her other stuff, she usually does like it is good. Like, like, Romth the talks like a computer from

like the Vymar cinema era, but she toned romp the down because this one was a serious documentary, you see. There's some real shit. Also, it's just a tiny thing and it's not as good as Ramphtha, but Fred Allen Wolf, the guy whose hair got stolen. Yeah. Or no, he's not the one that got stolen. No, no, no, no, he's it. Yeah, right. He's the guy who wrote the yoga of time travel Fred Allen wolf is listed as an independent physicist, which just means not peer review. Yeah. Yeah I am an independent physicist We're all independent physicists chiropractor and rakey masters

There's also a graduate student who's just there for the pizza very clearly. I'm saying, and he has to admit he's a graduate. Yeah, he's like, I don't actually have any. I'm going to, though, hopefully someday. If I were card, maybe, probably this movie won't help. No. I can't get this expelled. He's gonna have to defend like thesis, not my AMDB page,

God. Yes. Well, obviously we don't have time for all the point zero zero zero stuff It would take to rate this movie on a numeric scale So I'll save you the trouble of figuring out the scientific notation and simply ask you this What is the dumbest pseudo scientific claim you've ever heard that still less dumb than the thesis of this movie? God god of the Bible Let's dumb in this movie I'm gonna go with the Wi-Fi Hertz toddler brains

Asking questions no a gb no a gt YMCA And while that does it for our review of what the qubert profanity do we know that's not gonna do it for the episode just yet Because we still need to get you all swimming over next week so so Eli tell us what's on deck the passion of the Christ Live with as much visual acuma as I could have put in Did so many visual bits. And so as many of you know, of course, we did record this one, this episode before with the side, baby,

and then the audio was all fucked up, so we had to redo it. We're actually recording this a couple days after the live show, live shit takes a lot longer to edit, so you'll hear this one first, but yes, yes, it was a phenomenally good time, and we didn't get any video of it, but you'll at least get to hear it, and hear all the fun that you missed out on next week You know video you come to our live tour when we take it around the country next year. There you go

Yeah, you take the video So with all that to look forward to we'll bring up so 52 to a merciful close. Hey, someone your anniversary Yeah, it is it is that the live show is actually the day of our one year anniversary there All right, hey, it's almost a special sex stuff. All right, the feedback. I'm here with a clone of myself and we both want someone to teach us Diablo and had a balance stuff on the back of our hands. Oh, we've put only someone to the balance stuff just on the back of their hands. I feel like we should have something

new though, you know, as they have to be. We'll come up with something at the top. I'm sure we can. Well, once again, huge thanks to all the Patreon's that help make this show go. If you'd like to count yourself among their ranks, you can make a per episode donation at patreon.com slash god awful and thereby earn early access to every episode. You can also help us out a ton by leaving us a five star review on iTunes and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoy this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows the skating atheist and the skeptic rat available on iTunes and by sharing the show on all your various social media platforms. And if you enjoy this show, be sure to check out our sibling shows the scathing atheist

and the skeptic rat available on iTunes, Stitcher and wherever else podcasts live. If you have questions, comments, or cinematic suggestions, you can email GodawfulMoviesatgmail.com. All the music used in this episode was written and performed by Ryan Slotnik of Evil Chiraps on Mars and was used with permission. If you like what you hear, hear more by following the links to the show notes of this episode. Thanks again for giving us a chunk of your life this week for Heathen, right, Neelai Bosnick, I'm No Illusions Promised in the War card, and I'll be another chunk next week until then we'll leave you with a breakfast club close. The old lady at the wedding got double teamed by those two teenagers in every different superposition

They were looking for that observer Marley Matlin eventually admitted she only made this movie as a fuck you to people who can hear Amanda killed herself because she went off her fucking meds. No meds no I believe you So I just want to like just remind you guys this shows coming out before the live episode so no callbacks to the live episode yet Okay, see See we can follow that rule. So he tell, so sorry, I'm actually gonna cut that anyway. I meant to just mention that to you guys before we start. I'll future callback. Don't tell me not to future callback.

I future callbacked on last week's game. Yes, to a different show. To this episode, yeah, I've been having a lot of work with you. I haven't even recorded. But was it a call forward or was it happening simultaneously? Oh yeah, no shit physics work both ways. I need a black kid with a basketball. I'm looking for someone to shoot.

I'm going to get the fucking whiteboard again, man. I'll have circle. I'm looking for someone to shoot. I'm going to get the fuck away from him. Oh, that's a circle.