Goes Without Saying - exhausted & overwhelmed: i'm literally just a girl!!!

Episode Date: September 3, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Here's a show that we recommend. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world.
Starting point is 00:00:49 The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Goes Without Saying. You're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Wing. And I'm Sefi.
Starting point is 00:01:16 This is a really nice, kind of cozy, peaceful, hand-holding episode of Goes Without Saying. We're talking about just when you're feeling like, Oh, no, I'm tired. I'm shaking my head. I'm running away. hand-holding episode of goes without saying we're talking about just when you're feeling like oh no i'm tired i'm shaking my head i'm running away i'm getting back in bed it's a nice reminder to take some rest have a bit of time to yourself stop the self-hating bit of a reality check but also some kind of hard relating you know the girls just being gloomy together enjoy oh this feels nice to be back does it i feel like we're in an absolute rush we are but when are we not when are we not we're always panicked but we've we've also had quite a whirlwind like you've been dog sitting i've just come back from my holes like we're we're here there and everywhere we're
Starting point is 00:02:01 bringing the chaotic energy but i wouldn't mind us kind of um having a bit of a just a moment down together yeah like can we all just can you give us a minute like can we just have a shared moment yeah can we should we rerun sort of what we've been up to where we've been yeah because i had a lovely day with you yesterday i feel like i've just um left your house pretty much i've been living amongst um wings living my life like week you did a life swap we did although i don't live in roads unfortunately that would be no god that would have been amazing it would be um well i really had the best time but i was really aware of you potentially having the worst time just like being bitten to shreds by my little ratty dog for a week i only had three bites which is really good
Starting point is 00:02:45 though that is really good because i feel like he's bitten me more in just like an hour on the sofa with him yeah than he did for the whole time he really slept like on my chest overnight it was so cute like he would sleep like sort of as you always say behind your knees in the crook of the legs yeah that's why he was sleeping it was really cute he was so good he was a he was a good boy and you were amazing at dog sitting so thank you so much i'm so happy to come back to a living dog it's the best thing to do i really actually people do message me quite often saying like how did you get into dog sitting in seattle which isn't a thing that i do yeah i saw people say it's not like i advertise dog sitting i think
Starting point is 00:03:25 i just know people with dogs that say do you want to come stay at my house but that in itself is the advert you're influencing us well i'm about to influence people more if you want to go and spend time in new cities but you don't want to have to pay a penny yeah to go there and you don't want to have to um sort of look at hotels or airbnbs and things like that dog sitting is such a good way of doing it because people want to go on holiday but they don't leave their animals it is a good thing to do you get to live in a house people are grateful you bought me gifts i was not expecting that of course i have yes goes without saying i was like put these things back where they came from jokes i wasn't at all i was like, put these things back where they came from. Jokes aside, it wasn't at all. I was like, more, more, more, more.
Starting point is 00:04:05 Any more for any more. But I do actually think dog sitting, just asking around, like anyone want to go on holiday when I look after your dog? I'll look after your dog. Nice thing for the gap year girlies as well. It's a great thing for the gap year girlies. Nice cozy gap year than a gap year kind of vibe. There are websites as well where you can look up the other like dog sitting
Starting point is 00:04:25 thing but be safe with that facebook but be really safe i think the the websites are quite good because they're like verified and you have to pay to be on there i haven't used them but you know the thing that does creep me out no no never mind right anyway yeah should we get straight in let's do it enough enough garbage yeah yeah not garbage for one morning onto onto more garbage a different kind of garbage i thought it might be nice to talk about like you know it's just like like yeah i know it well no like i can't like no i can't like that's yeah yeah yeah i know it i think i think you get what i mean when i say like just almost like oh i just want to go to bed yeah yeah i just want to go to bed cba cba right now it's tummy
Starting point is 00:05:07 ache season i think oh god isn't it just isn't it just any thoughts to bring us in um my my overarching thought is that i um feel like it's a common state that i'm in a lot in my life the feeling of just like oh today just feels off i just can't oh get me to bed kind of like almost like um what did I have the other day I almost had a feeling of just like I was trying to take our own advice that we're talking an episode like maybe don't like well that never works no it doesn't speaking from personal experience foolish advice but it was like um don't maybe like pathologize and like um narrativize the feelings maybe it's like a hormonal thing that's out of your control maybe it's just like there's stuff going on life you know you almost maybe it's not oh my god maybe
Starting point is 00:05:58 it's that thing that happened yesterday i'm still kind of processing that and but maybe it's like you're hungry and like label it yeah i'm just in a phase where like i just can kind of processing that and but maybe it's like you're hungry and like label it yeah i'm just in a phase where like i just can't get over that like i just can't like i'm feeling so weird with her like blah blah blah it's like no no no no i think it's just you just feel a bit old mood you're in a human mood and what i what i did was i kind of just distracted myself yeah and almost like made sure i'd eaten something rather than like let's try and work it out i like put on some music um ate something you know went for a walk all of the stuff and it's like oh i just forgot about it but sometimes you do just get out okay what is it get out of bed on
Starting point is 00:06:37 get out on the wrong side of bed yeah sure and it's just i'm in a bad mood couldn't have said it better myself get bed on the right that's why we have a podcast people but it's true right i do think as well we have spoken we've almost we've been on a journey i think and like there's ebbs and flows i i always i really you know i back where we've been i back the things that we've said within reason yeah but i remember thinking like a few years ago and this is pre-pandemic so that's probably quite an important thing to mention i remember really thinking like oh if you have to be busy all the time you're just like distracting yourself from there must be like real problems there must be like underlying issues i think some of that holds up agreed i think there is a portion of the human
Starting point is 00:07:21 experience that is kind of if you constantly have to ignore things that aren't making you feel good deep down you're gonna keep burying it under the rug and then all of a sudden it's not a rug it's like a bulging kind of sofa it's like beanbag oh i love it yeah it's quite nice but like i think some things you can't ignore which by the way i had the same dream last night i keep having this recurring dream you are no i swear to god i'm not joking when i say i'm genuinely living i'm having recurring dreams every single night we were talking actually yesterday about how wings dreams are horrific like her boyfriend was saying like i'm really held to account for the things that i did in my dream
Starting point is 00:07:59 in wings dreams and i was like so am i often i get a call where wings like last night you were saying no i hate you that is such a lie that is such a lie with that voice absolutely not absolutely not that's the voice that you're doing for me in the dreams yeah it's almost like you come last night i had a dream then you were like that you hated my god i hate you you are just the worst and that it's almost like um i'm a dream then you were like that you hated my god i hate you you are just the worst and that it's almost like um i'm a psychopath in your dreams yeah but it's not you that's the psychopath it's me and my brain it's so bad are we all in our um sleep i guess i guess yeah but go on what's this crazy dream i just i'm having recurring dreams every night where you guys know
Starting point is 00:08:44 i have a weird relationship with my mom and i'm really having the recurring dreams every night where you guys know i have a weird relationship with my mom and i'm really having the same dream every night where i'm like really trying to get through to her and like she's just not listening and it's exhausting and like i'm trying to convince people to help me no one cares like it's just so knackering and i'm i'm worried for everyone's safety it's just horrible it's not snoozing by boozing no it's not snoozing by boozing so i just want to reach out a hand through the episode to anyone who is dealing with shitty parents and shitty parent situations but the dream is weirder than that was it not yeah but i don't want to take up too much time yeah there was so there was a spider child not last night's dream the night before it was basically there's a
Starting point is 00:09:18 lot of spiders in my dreams they're kind of my conventional fear beyond like yeah failing in my life meaning nothing and losing the people i love and like maybe i am a piece of shit the like really conventional stereotypical fear that i have is eight-legged creatures yeah um and in my dream when seffy stayed over the other night i was saying like the next day at breakfast with her and my boyfriend i was like my dream last night there was a spider and it was massive and i must have been quite young i think i was like my dream last night there was a spider and it was massive and i must have been quite young i think i was like a teenager it was like crawling all over my clothes it was like in a pile of clothes which is very me pile of clothes i am kind of erin pile of clothes
Starting point is 00:09:54 yeah um and i called my mom like can you help me find this spider like can you get rid of the spider which is not something i can't even relate to that behavior like calling my parents like help me do it's just yeah i just can't even yeah it's like god i must have been really young in this dream she came she got the spider and then she decided with her partner that they were going to keep the spider and they were going to raise it as a child and it was kind of this huge spider child it was so horrific it was so it was real gnarly stuff it was i could hear the kind of the legs of the spider like kind of cracking like it was it was so horrific it was so it was real gnarly stuff it was i could hear the kind of the legs of the spider like kind of cracking like it was it was really horrific and i was begging her yeah go on no i was begging her i was like you can't raise this child you can't raise a spider
Starting point is 00:10:35 as a child like please mom you know i'm scared of them you can't raise a spider as a child and she's like look we've decided that's what we're gonna do so we're doing it anyway so if you think you're fucked in the head no i had a really weird one last night about like we can't spend this whole time talking no okay but it was about badminton and they wouldn't let me in oh bloody well that's a nightmare i was getting like irate was it me was i the bouncer i was like sorry there's no badminton here you're worthless you're not good enough anyway so yeah i'm having recurring dreams i'm just a knackered girly um and kind of that thing where if you're having these underlying things that's creepy there's obviously something going on here like right you know alarm bells are ringing there's
Starting point is 00:11:21 something going on yeah you obviously have an issue with spiders to say the least and there's a few other things in there that we could probably delve into in another day and i think we used to take that well i do and i do still believe that for sure and i know we do but there's almost taking that to the nth degree and thinking like you have to acknowledge almost every single thought that you have and like expand it and analyze it and try and understand it and and kind of better it and kind of get to the bottom of it and make sure you're okay with it and sometimes you just have to hold your hands up and say look i'm having crazy thoughts and i'm just gonna let them be not every thought has to be examined under a microscope and like taken to
Starting point is 00:12:00 the nth degree it really shouldn't be especially when you've got a mind like ours i mean i think most people that i know identify as an overthinker i don't know anyone that says i think a good amount sorry did you hear me i agreed before i said agreed before you'd even finish your sentence and i that's the kind of energy i need from you yeah we're already agreeing to that haven't even finished it's like yeah put my name on that honestly before you before you even click record i'm like agreed i'm not agreed 100 I couldn't have said about a great episode so true so fucking true um let the woman speak yeah agreed let the bells ring let the bells ring I just think if you know and we know these things everyone identifies an overthinker and everyone everyone needs to hear the message this is why
Starting point is 00:12:45 headspace is a successful app and andy's thriving good for andy we know the thing about the cars and the motorway are going past don't latch on to them just let them flow the clouds dark layer your thoughts just look beyond there's a blue sky we've seen his little animations at the start of the app we know them and it's the same thing my dad told me when i was like really young he would always be like you are not your thoughts and i was like 10 being like i don't understand but i remember like kind of now that's always been a thing that i've always thought like you're not your thoughts and now i'm starting to like really well in my last like five years of life i've been like kind of like yeah you are not your thoughts like you have crazy thoughts like intrusive thoughts are mental like yeah that crazy things come up in your brain that you don't want to happen weird little sentences come up it's crazy in here um kind of like oh maybe you should
Starting point is 00:13:36 dye your hair red no you don't actually want to let that one go you don't need to analyze that thought you just saw someone with red hair you saw rihanna loud and you thought that looks good oh stunning you don't need to analyze everything because a lot of the things you think are bollocks if you chase everything yes you are on a fool's errand like it's so true no i genuinely think it's a skill like it's a muscle to grow and like stretch out the idea of like learning what thoughts to kind of harvest in and what to like really let go of and relinquish yeah because a lot of it is um taught as well like learned behaviors definitely you have learned that every time that you see your friend being successful you have a natural in your stomach
Starting point is 00:14:23 and then your uh neuro pathways are already firing before you've even had a second and it's like i hate that bitch i'm unsuccessful you can't trust these thoughts you don't think that it's just that's the habit that's formed yeah it's not you're even it's you can't trust your thoughts because they are literally um passing thoughts also like what's the thing about a human being has oh god too many it was like i don't know what the number is 20 million thousand a bajillion a hundred million ten thousand yeah today and five but if you that study was done probably in before tiktok before the internet that was probably done like what 10 years ago look i
Starting point is 00:15:05 wonder how many thoughts you're having now that you're flipping through a screen at this kind of speed you're having so many thoughts you can't trust these things no you can't you can't be trusted you can trust feelings unreliable narrator trust your senses you don't trust this maniac brain yeah and i think also can you trust after as you break the habits and stretch the muscles and learn to let yourself just be when you're having the crazy thoughts the more do you learn to the more that you know you can trust almost like yourself like you're taking care of yourself you're prioritizing yourself like you're not um i always use the phrase torturing yourself but yeah it doesn't even feel hyperbolic yeah it feels quite um quite to the point like it feels quite apt i'm well i'm well accustomed to the self-torture
Starting point is 00:15:58 yeah because everyone knows how it feels when you're stuck in that thing and you almost can't get out of it i think it's ruminating really which is the perfect word because it almost is like a bit of an onomatopoeia ruminating ruminating yeah like when you're stuck in the thing and you can't seem to get out of it and it's like i'll do this but you keep returning to the same thought and it's just like sometimes you are in a shitty mood oh god i just think that you should honor the shitty mood sometimes and just be totally do remember? This was ages ago. This was when we were at uni together. And this is quite, this honestly sums up.
Starting point is 00:16:29 Sorry, I was about to say, literally pointing me down. Just put a finger pointing through the webcam. Yeah. That really just, I had a flash of a memory of us in third year. And this just really sums up how bizarre we are. But we, I was in the library. I'll tell it from my perspective because I don't know what happened at the end i was in the library stinky mood we'll do a little love actually yeah i know we'll connect the dots later we'll flash back i'm sure we're dragging each
Starting point is 00:16:55 other yeah i don't even know if you'll remember this okay um but i was in the library stinky mood working working working nothing's going right oh everyone's annoying me fucking oh get me out oh my god it's too hot in here oh my god get me out we know the drill yeah i was like right i'm just gonna go home i'm just gonna go home i walk to quite a weird bus stop they're like around sussex uni there's like quite a lot of bus stops you can go to like on the route home i walk to quite a random bus stop who's at the bus stop little miss wing emerald wait wait what bus stop was it it was the one obviously i'd be at the weird bus head in her hands she's not looking like she's doing too good but kind of like head down looking into her phone kind of like classic what's going on with you i'm
Starting point is 00:17:41 just on my way home i feel like shit and we live together at this point and she's like funny enough so am i star cross lovers and i we were on the bus home together because we were like kind of like we both feel like shit now we both kind of feel like weirdly good on our way home probably gonna go watch game of thrones not do what bus stop was it i need to know just side note i don't know i don't know how to describe the bus stop um the one was it the one almost like when you come in and there's like a bit of greenery there no no no not that one not that one so it's the one by like a load of steps if you i don't know what the is the building called fulton no no let's leave that there yeah all right building is called Fulton shout out all my film that also feels very like everyone listening to this podcast kind of like I'm feeling bad too it's like yeah we all are listening we're all there with our head in
Starting point is 00:18:38 our hands we're all here yeah and it's like god I didn't know you guys would be here oh my god let's go home together let's do this together yeah but then on the bus we were kind of in our weird laughing mood we were in our very much like tarot kind of like everything's crazy stage era some may say um and we were on the bus and we looked at our horoscopes our co-stars um who i would love to sponsor us if co-star you would oh i'd love that you meant a lot to us you're more than welcome yeah come on by still have a widget of you on my phone and um it said i think this was just one of ours but we would have lost our minds if it said it on both of ours but it said like today you are not for human consumption and i remember we were like that is it we're not for human consumption today
Starting point is 00:19:26 and we're 95 of the time and we got on that bus and we went home and probably ate super noodles where we were eating super noodles and barbecue pringles and that's all we ate for about oh i'm just gonna take a little b12 um vitamin whilst you're gone but i'll do it now it used to make us actually sick we used to be like god why have i got such a tummy ache because you've had a packet of pringles each and like two packs of super noodles in one in kind of the space of seven minutes flavored super noodles and then i wondered why the vegan diet didn't work for me no because we weren't doing it well no i was doing it terribly i do well now though yeah yeah but we literally
Starting point is 00:20:10 my b12 vitamin do it so well now yeah well done um but yeah no we would eat a packet of super noodles each and then we would get the the giant thing of pringles what the normal barbecue pringles which i still that's in my heart they're my favorite but i can't no i love them they're not vegan anymore gussing they've added oh they not but in some kind of weird like news agents that haven't updated their stock in like quite a few years you can find the old expired expired yummy i'm quite liking this yeah it kind of feels a bit it feels like a bit of hand-holding. Chilled. Yeah, really chilled. ACAST powers the world's
Starting point is 00:20:52 best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. He's so gay. These rams are gay. I rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay?
Starting point is 00:21:08 So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer. And we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on spotify apple or wherever
Starting point is 00:21:27 you get your podcasts a cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere a cast.com what's your kind of go-to recipe like say that you wake up and you have woken up on the wrong side of bed you feel not for human consumption you're overthinking maybe the thoughts are not very nice you're just not feeling good what would you do like what's your practical tips something that just came to mind because i almost think i don't have a go-to answer yet. I haven't yet formulated what is actually like a good kind of routine or like recipe for that. But my instinct just then when you said that is almost, I feel like I may be learning that in the moments when I'm feeling quite bad, I almost need to do the opposite of what I kind of want to do. quite bad i almost need to do the opposite of what i kind of want to do yeah on the surface level i probably have these wants that are like don't text sephie back yeah don't go out today don't
Starting point is 00:22:33 see your friend you're gonna have to cancel on your plans don't do this don't do that just just don't just blow up like my kind of my surface level instinct is like don't run away get the hell out of here stay in bed go back to bed go to sleep which is absolutely the time and a place for and i think a lot of people don't have the same kind of tendency that it just looks different for them and so just take me in one ear and push me out the other no no quantum yeah but for me personally i think i my instincts my kind of self-destructing self-sabotaging patterns are like isolating myself and almost writing myself off of things and being like i'm gonna eat soup noodles instead of being
Starting point is 00:23:13 like no like i had plans to like go out for breakfast with my friend i'm gonna do that or like oh no you know what i can do the work that i wanted to do today like almost fighting against the instinct of like shutting myself off yeah that's what i really need in those moments which it can be kind of tough because you can get lost in the idea of like do i need rest or do i need a break or do i need to push through like what are the lines here and kind of like something we've spoken about before of the idea of like self-care being if like self-care isn't i hate to say it go i know you don't want to hear it but like self-care isn't you like not doing the work that you need to do or like not figuring out the hard
Starting point is 00:23:50 shit that you need to do like properly taking care of yourself is making sure that you're efficiently like looking after yourself in your life and giving yourself a break for the moments where you can't do that and understanding when you're having rest you're actually having like proper quality rest and not just like skimming through the surface of life with your phone in your hand because there have been so many times i think that's the key where i look back and i'm like well i haven't done anything i haven't really rested either i've just been like a shell of a human and it's not getting any better so i think understanding like if you're gonna rest you should absolutely rest rest and relaxation kick back and relax there's nothing i want more
Starting point is 00:24:31 for us all than to rest and there's no good rest hearty rest good for the soul do you know a phrase i heard recently i don't really know why i hadn't i had heard it before but i hadn't really like thought of it as like oh we should all be doing that but someone that I know is like chronically ill I think they have ME and they have to have active rest yeah I was like that is a sentence of a phrase that should be used more often by everybody so much of the time there's also there's someone in my life that I always have a go at for many reasons but I always say they're like oh i'm just so tired i'm so tired it's like what are you doing your phone's in your hand like you're scrolling through facebook yeah i'm resting it's like no you're not your fire or flight is activated you're looking at weird facebook fucking holes and
Starting point is 00:25:18 commenting on weird shit like stop literally stop like you can tell that there's an older person from my use of facebook but it the idea of active rest is not i i slip up with it like massively in the way that it's like oh i'm just resting it's like no you haven't you've got h3 on and he's fucking stressing you out why is your heart rate going if you're resting so much like rest isn't put on the nearest screen and like zone into a different different reality it is maybe like a peaceful experience it maybe should be that would be nice maybe restful but i think we've got that so skewed i think that's as well it's always the habit of just like it's impossible it feels very impossible to break the habit of never resting yeah um and it also kind of blurs into our kind of olden day philosophies that we used to have of like avoid your problems like numb numb numb be numb through life and that's a red flag and it is very much a
Starting point is 00:26:18 red flag of not allowing yourself proper time to like be human in all the ways that it means to be human definitely do you sometimes get into bed and sort of think oh my god this is the first time i've like connected with myself all day like almost like when you're but like not in a nice but not in a nice way but like having that feeling is nice but like almost like i do a meditation every night so i always like and i try and do every morning as well but like i sometimes get into bed and i put my phone away like my audiobook stops playing whatever and i'm like that and i'm like oh my god this is the first time i've like not been staring at the phone doing something else talking to someone else making a couple of tea like thinking about like it's almost like i don't really feel like i create many opportunities in my life other than meditating and I'll bang on about it again, yoga, that are like moments for myself.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Even when I'm like waiting at a bus stop waiting for you to arrive head in hands, I'm still looking down at my phone or like I'm listening to something like that. There aren't many moments where I'm like, oh, my God, like, Jesus, that was an intense day or like, God god this is going well or this isn't going well or whatever it is yeah and I think the confidence that comes with like just being with yourself like I always say like being with yourself like you should be in the best company yeah you're just on your own surely you're in the best company like and I think learning to make yourself be the best company that you can be around like making yourself be someone that you enjoy being with rather than like someone who's always torturing you with really crazy like mean thoughts there is a sense of the thoughts punish for your reaction don't punish but like almost our reaction to our thoughts like the thought the crazy thoughts they will continue till you die
Starting point is 00:28:00 totally yeah yeah but make yourself someone who yeah responds really nicely and is just like but i'm still here for myself yeah i back myself and i let the thoughts come and i let the thoughts go like one thought isn't bad without that normal but like one thought like oh i'm a piece of shit that's fine that will always happen but then it's the thought afterwards it's the chain it's the chain reaction of what you started with one like horrible thought that was like oh they have something really cool i don't have that and then you ended it throughout the whole day with and i'm absolutely worthless piece of absolute garbage i'm kind of in my dreams when you hate me because i make you hate me um it's kind of the difference between being like
Starting point is 00:28:42 oh i thought you hated me and being like well now i believe that seffy hates me like the difference between i had a thought where i was insecure and i and i was being a silly little billy and i thought to myself oh seffy doesn't like me or like i'm not good enough instead of being like now i believe yeah with the evidence that i've collated in a very ambiguous manner i now believe no evidence exactly i now believe that you know x y and z yeah and it just doesn't have to be like that it really doesn't it but it takes time as well i think just you know let's all give ourselves a break we're only just we're just little girls like we're just little human beings yeah yeah so tired also that's a nice i think it's a nice thing to be in a way that that feeling where it's like oh
Starting point is 00:29:31 my god i just feel overwhelmed and tired and just all the stuff it's like it's a real opportunity to be like extra kind to yourself i think as well like we haven't said it yet in this episode but we do we have said it famously i will say time and time again is almost like if you're waiting for permission to someone to for someone to come in and say hey let's do your active rest now it's not gonna fucking happen no one's coming nobody's coming harry no one's coming to be like this girl's tired look at her oh she's got tummy aches she needs some rest no one's doing that and even when they do it doesn't feel good enough the only thing that really works is you like backing yourself and being like i'm not doing anything on tuesday
Starting point is 00:30:09 i i quit i quit this i'm sleeping this job i'm sleeping i need to take active rest i need to just i need what i need and i'm gonna give myself what i need and i'm not waiting for someone else to decide that i'm worthy of being given what i need i'm just gonna give it to myself everything i once desired from others i give it to myself right now now this one has been so woo woo it really has but i'm not also we've been doing this in a real rush because wings got to get on a train in like 10 minutes um i don't want to give the rushed vibe i don't want to give a rushed energy though no i don't okay well let's cut that then no no you can keep it well i'll keep it in but almost like i don't think it's been rushed i don't think it's no no i think we've really pulled that right
Starting point is 00:30:55 out of our arses like okay yeah i like this i think so yeah good good i would listen make the thing that you want it's the best it's it is actually the best thing to do um like my maiden chelsea top trumps i've really been thinking that oh yeah which i made these maiden chelsea top trumps they're really cool um with my friend and i really was thinking like god just create the things you want in like okay it's actually the only way and i think don't worry about not knowing what you want yeah sometimes it takes time because almost i think we would have gone into knowing what you want yeah sometimes it takes time because almost i think we would have gone into the podcast being like okay we're gonna make the podcast that
Starting point is 00:31:28 we that we would want to listen to but it's like no you're not you don't even know what you want to listen to no you got no clue what also you take some time exactly the journey yeah give yourself a break yeah really nice really nice god i'm always quite jealous that we're not listening that's really fun okay well great app i feel like there was something i needed to say in this one like almost did we have an update um but maybe we didn't how was roads yeah roads was really not oh it was actually i should say it was so good you were eating mermaid food i was eating mermaid food anyway all right i'm not getting into this that's all gone all right are we done here do you think i think we're done yeah do you know what they're done with us they're sleeping right now go and just like
Starting point is 00:32:16 they're resting their eyes what could be a call to action for you today i think just listen to how you feel don't get too um sort of bogged down with it though as well like almost just like you how you feel can change in a moment how you think can change yeah just just go through this life you know you don't need to um it's back to the square one you don't need to create a narrative around anything yeah and maybe try and find like if not fully feeling proud but just like a glimmer of satisfaction in yourself that of all the shitty thoughts that you've had in your life you've made it through every single one yeah that's stunning do you know what i mean like all the shit that you've been told by yourself
Starting point is 00:32:57 and despite that we're still going okay well we're here yeah here when you need us and um what is it when you need us we will be gone no wait was it when you want us we'll be gone no when you need us we'll be gone but when you want us no fuck what is that nanny mcfee how do you not know that oh i'm not familiar when you want us no when nanny mcfee is did you not know that oh i'm not familiar when you want us no when nanny mcfee is almost the spider child that was in my dreams like that's kind of that vibe is giving me yeah but i like that yeah but you were creeping me out it's when you need us i'll be there and when you want us we'll be gone oh that's that's a bit sad it's a sad ending because they're like we hate this bitch we hate this bitch she's like making us drink medicine that we don't like but then they love her don't they
Starting point is 00:33:47 and then by the end it's like we want her but she's like but you don't need me anymore i'll be gone oh i'm gonna cry i love money i'm too sensitive for this i've genuinely got tears in my eyes i have to go right let's go let's go let's go god you'd love it i would i don't think i'm cut out for it right now it's almost like give me a couple years to get a bit more stable who um her name is evangeline and she's played by this character they defiled it with dark magic dark magic you know who was going to be a nanny mcfee but didn't get the role who Who? Maisie Williams. Really? I'm sure I saw her say that to Sophie Turner somewhere.
Starting point is 00:34:29 Oh my God, I wonder what character. In an interview, rabbit hole, that was it. It's going to be that little girl. Little girl. Yeah, and someone else got it. With tube of brown hair. It's like so Maisie Williams. Yeah, and then they say, that bitch.
Starting point is 00:34:38 And then they're like, just kidding. But they probably mean it. Oh my God. I could so see her. Right, let's go. If you don't hear from us assume the worst

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