Goes Without Saying - feminine rage & misogyny: #justgirlythings

Episode Date: March 13, 2023

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funny but the world is fucked up i hope you enjoy hey hi hi hi how's it going good nothing good happy to be back so happy to be back thrilled good feels great um i'm not nervous but like i'm intrigued to see where this conversation is gonna go so am i i'm thinking i'm just kind of gonna kind of gonna let you shape this because i know the general vibe of the episode because you just did a little sort of action to describe it and i know exactly what you mean just kind of got my claws out yeah i know the vibe but i also don't really know what the conversation is gonna look like so neither really i'm kind of just gonna go with the flow yeah yeah i agree just hold on tight close your eyes just see what happens i think yeah works for me it's gonna be a bumpy ride it's just i think it's always a good idea to talk about girls and the way that girls feel about other girls and why maybe absolutely you know I do know I know it well in fact yeah same same

how do you no go on no you go no go on because I said I'm gonna let you shape this and then I just suddenly go with a random question yeah but I'm intrigued as to what it was now sorry you don't know I think I've forgotten it anyways slipped right into yeah it's gone i was gonna say like how has your relationship with identifying as even like being a girl like as a kid how has your relationship to your gender changed over time like what what's the what's your what's your story who are you i still feel like i'm kind of getting to grips with like the identity of like women i find that really like as opposed to girl i find that like when like the other day you said like we're 26 year old women and it's like yesterday yeah women women little women it's crazy little women i think it's a powerful like sexual thing well i i find it strange i

remember once you say someone sexually once said that i had a womanly body and i remember being quite triggered by that but almost it's like girly would be really fucking weird but then almost like oh god so you're a fucking pedophile but like womanly i was i remember being like god a woman a woman okay i'm a woman right okay weird but i do think i definitely feel weird about i think the transition basically puberty hit me pretty hard as a person um i think i just developed really early and i think i was actually thinking about my boobs the other day but i'm always thinking about them but like i have pretty big boobs and i was like i have had these my whole life i cannot remember not having just like quite big boobs i

it's almost like in year five or six probably year five i reckon these things grew pretty quick i've always had them always had to wear a bra all of this stuff and it's like actually god what does that look like without these like what does that mean for me yeah it's like that surely has shaped me just my identity of as just a woman a girl i don't know like i definitely i feel i feel weird about it i think i'm still processing puberty honestly no same i've heard this thing about a second puberty not that anyone really knows anything about like do you know i can't i can't find the facts but i'm yeah i feel like puberty i'm still recovering i agree it's a quite scarring experience suddenly it's like you go from being able to, like I was one of those kids

that would run around with my top off sort of thing, like in the sort of park. And then suddenly it's like, in a matter of literally four months, it's like, now you're sexual. You're a sexual object. Wait, how old were you when you were running around with no top on?

Well, I don't know. I think I was always, well, I was young. I was young doing that. Just it changing. But like almost, I think I really was kind of. I was like, that's really really i was kind of no no that's really crazy but like almost one of just just like a tomboy kid that would be like very much didn't like think

about gender at all and then suddenly obviously gender kind of gets forced on you in this way that's like men are looking at you differently people are speaking to you differently and it's not even about who you have not really changed as a person just suddenly you look different and you the world is responding to you like significantly differently and i think i'm still upset about it yeah i'm still jarred by it agreed like literally um what 16 years later right as a 26 year old woman yeah i can't do the math how old are you when you hit pbc yeah what was your relationship like with other girls oh i think what it when just across like just give me the general outline do you remember those youtuber videos that were like draw my life and they had like

draw us your life of your relationship to other girls growing up i don't think i can draw my life but i can give you some gist and my baby brother was born on and it'd be like a little stick man really cute and then wipe it out really fast oh my god it'd be so cute um i don't know i think my relationship with girls has always been really positive like i've always had like big groups of like girl friends um i was raised by women yeah um yeah i've always been surrounded by women my my opinion of them is a great opinion of like these people are absolutely key to my development to me as a human now everything i i think they're everything yeah i think that literally is as basic as i go obviously

you encounter weird people you encounter jealousies all of this shit that's kind of inherent in being women in a competitive patriarchal world where you were kind of competing for men's attention it's shit but my opinion my opinion has been and always will be that they're the fucking best they're the fucking shit yeah fair enough what's yours okay so yeah i agree with you it has to be it has to be i'm never gonna speak down like yeah no plot twist here i hate women actually thanks they are disgusting i hate women they are weak and they belong to men okay your role as a woman do you ever feel like you've been expected or encouraged to keep quiet about something because you're a woman yes trick question it's like uh what yes every moment of my life i feel like i'm keeping quiet from

everything i don't even know where to start like i feel like the literally the experience of womanhood is just kind of diminishing yourself in every way just becoming smaller and smaller and smaller physically mentally emotionally spiritually everything until you're just like this weird shell with no opinions i think genuinely that is i don't know yeah if you if you have to say which with a pinch of salt like i don't want anyone like quoting you on this unless you are happy to be quoted but it's quite a big ask that i'm gonna ask yeah it's completely off the record here would you say if anything what would you say if anything at all is a unifying experience or the

unifying experience of being a woman being objectified i think the unifying experience the thing that i can really relate to with every woman is that you have been objectified whatever whatever your experience in the huge spectrum of privileges and experiences and all of this stuff the thing that i think all women have in common is that you have been sexualized and objectified throughout your life definitely everyone do you not think you thought of that so quickly it's that's that's it to me i think that everything that i feel bonded with with women is that we've all been born into this weird your kind of luck of the draw is that you live this life where your body

is seen as more important than you and you will be um hurt for it you will be kind of um you won't have things given to you because of it you'll be spoken to differently you'll be looked at differently all of your experiences will be different to the men in your life i'm shocked at how quickly that came to you really what would that not be on the tip of your tongue i almost would just be so overwhelmed with the question that i would run away i wouldn't answer it i would just be like oh guys it's up to you well what would it be for you like if you're taking your time what is the thing that unifies you and all women well you know what i i really see i agree with you that there is there's a level of being invalidated i think like your existence as a woman or just your existence on this planet is not a man I think

um or at least not a cis man I think is yeah you're considered to be just less worthy and I think I don't know if this is a unifying thing but I something I find frustrating is the lack of being well for me personally a lack of just being not being able to articulate exactly what that is because i almost think a lot of people will be listening and completely relate to it even if there are so many ways that you feel like it happens that you can't quite put your finger on which then makes it feel invalid or like um superficial like almost well you don't have the evidence so even though obviously we do have the evidence we have like a lifetime god guys we have a lifetime we have like many lives examples

of lifetimes exactly yeah but i think sometimes there's a subtlety to the experience of being a woman that is so hard to put into words that it feels like almost so abstract that it becomes like not real definitely i find that frustrating i agree i think that's also i always think like that's when like media like that's when like films and music and all of these things really sum it up where like i always feel like when i listen to i've been actually listening to lana del rey her whole album isn't out yet but like there are two songs that have been released and yeah i've been listening to them and it's like how do you sum up the feeling and i i mean scissor does

this for me like no other and I feel like taylor does it for you in loads of ways but it's like you're summing up things that I didn't even realize I thought but are like so key to my experience and I think the experience of so many women yeah that so many people but I do think like I don't know lana was specifically giving it to me it's like this is like the women's experience and it's like you have nailed something that i i just i didn't even know was in me that i wanted to put into it and it's like god i actually couldn't feel the feeling well that's why as well i think the experience of being a girl just and this whole topic in general is really interesting because i think so much of the experience is encouraged to go without saying like yeah it's so much of it is internal like and I think I think we're definitely seeing like a increase in the

amount of people like raising different questions and like pointing different things out or like sharing different experiences like over the internet over the past few years but even like over the past five years I feel like the landscape has changed so much like i feel like we're really every day like someone will say something and all the comments are like oh my god we're all living the same life literally it's like yeah i guess we've been doing this for years and years and years and never spoke about it or never spoke about it like in this way but i feel like like little things like for example like being objectified by men or like i saw a thing the other day of this girl being like walking into a room and scanning to see um where you rank in terms of like beauty across the women and like all of these things that or like the way that someone looked at you and then you don't you know just so many

things i think about the experience is internal which i think can make it so isolating and it's why i asked you what you think the unifying experience might be if there is one because obviously everyone's life is different looks different but i think sometimes there is something even like beyond unspoken might even be unconscious yeah but it's so bonding and without that it becomes really ugly and isolating and i think that's when it starts to get easier like when we are isolated we're obviously then much more likely to do the whole like fuck her blah blah blah like oh that girl is bullshit like that the blah blah blah like you know the whole pick me do you know what i think that's so interesting that you are saying like it can be a bonding thing because i feel like as a like objectification is inherently competitive as well like we've

jealousy comes with this stuff and like one of the the main fucking things i think in like friendship with girls and also like just knowing other girls and like being a girl growing up you definitely feel jealous and competitive at a lot of points like a lot of things are used against you or like a lot you can turn anything into a competition so i think realizing that's a universal experience then becomes something else it's like okay so i'm not going to compete with this girl that's someone that is that is we've been essentially fucking trained to compete with each other for everything but especially men's attention which is so fucked up oh my god i hate it i hate it that is really you're really you're throwing out some hard hitters here i'm

not what you said what did you just say and i was like oh it actually like hurt my soul a little bit you were like in a good way yeah you were like um yeah in an awful way that really cringed me out that was awful when you said that hurt my soul no it really like stung my insides when you were saying like the objectification even becomes competitive it's like i it's like i'm more objectified than you i.e i'm hotter than you and it's like as if we're not competing for everything else as well jobs money everything it's also like i need to be the hottest so that most men can objectify me but that is my oppression as well it's so fucked it's just a cycle of shit um it's kind of one of the purest or like not pure because it's evil but like the clearest examples of the main currency a lot of the time or like

we're made to feel like our main currency is the external validation and often the validation from men yeah it's like our main currency but we can't get enough of it yeah tell me more tell me more acas powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay.

These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Le't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world.

The animal kingdom is queer. And we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com Well, it's your sign that's like,

okay, so you're fulfilling your role. If the role of a woman is to be, sort of traditionally, the like quite sort of demure and like kind pretty but not beautiful not intimidating wife that can like raise some kids and cook some dinners and suck her husband's dick and all of the stuff so interesting that is the traditional role but keep quiet really have some like funny moments but don't be too funny don't be too clever don't make

as much as him no definitely not yeah like so much of that isn't the case now but so much of that like endures in like small ways like i think most women now would say that they don't strive to be that that kind of don't worry darling version of a woman or like that that don't worry darling version of a man's fantasy of a woman florence pew who can deny it i mean she's my fantasy she's mine as well but like you're waiting there with a drink in your hand and you've been putting your makeup on day while he's been out and blah blah i think so many people would say that doesn't that's not what most women strive for but there's so many ways that that fucking it is still so present like it it really isn't that far from it like yes now

you can have a job that's pretty much the only difference but you're still expected to be the most beautiful you're still dating what is it fucking harry styles but at the end where he looks like a fucking minger you're still dating an absolute scrap of a guy like you're still um having to like pop out some kids whilst he's probably having an affair blah blah blah like there's so many there's so many ways like i think the way to challenge is it challenge all of that is like if you did make more money than your husband if you did look like shit all of the stuff it's like how would you feel that you have failed as a woman the idea of a woman still is that you should be pretty fucking

um small really and not ever surpass what a man does because that's just such a fucking threat like actually when i've seen people challenge that and actually kind of i don't know surpass the idea of like a small and i mean kind of small in like a in all senses woman people are not fucking happy like the role of a woman really is pretty limited sorry am i being quite dark i don't think it's you i don't think it was your choice yeah i would love to be like guys this is just this is just the fucking shit of the world i think it is i think it is dark okay so this is still gonna be dark but bear with how has your perspective changed or has it changed at all like what is your view on the ways that women comment on other women's lives my opinion of it is fucking diabolical okay so what if i said then like

for example i'm just gonna get quite specific but i know for a fact a couple of episodes ago you were like oh god i just feel so scary not the not the honestly that is like full-on like hard evidence yeah actually two episodes ago um but no like for example when we make comments about like oh even like lucky girl oh that girl this girl made a tiktok and she said she calls herself a lucky girl and blah blah blah and we talk about what that means publicly which makes me sick makes me ill to my stomach i hope it everyone knows goes that saying we're not directly speaking i don't i don't think we're ever trying to critique anyone's life personally i don't we're not in positions to critique oh my god no no no absolutely not but how does that

what do you think that says about not even us as two individuals but like what do you think it says about us just the state that we've got ourselves into i don't know what it says about the state that we've got ourselves into because i actually don't have a fucking clue what we're doing like but i think it's funny that we live in a world where we can comment on even taking gender out of it where you we live in a world where we can comment on even taking gender out of it, where you, we live in a world where you, someone can say something, then someone that's never met that person can comment to a load of people that they've never ever met. And then they can send that to their friends. It's a pretty weird state of the world. But then you add gender into it, that it's women commenting on something that a woman said and there are women listening and all

this stuff. And yeah, it definitely feeds into um a load of bollocks that we're already too saturated with yeah i think that saturation is the crux as well because i think a lot so much of the commentary that you get um kind of in response to one girl popping up with a random video whether regardless of what her intentions were regardless of like if she's evil and she needs to be held accountable for something or if she's just normal we like her we don't like whatever we like her today but that's like exactly if you like someone doesn't mean you're gonna like them tomorrow but i think so much of the commentary or and in some ways when people do critique individuals and i think women on on social media in general regardless of whether or not they've got a platform i think a

lot of that is really motivated by seeing the injustice happen for a long time or knowing like being raised in this world where you know that gender for example race like all of these things are creating injustice in your real life so you can't help but take that narrative to this random girl yeah who's just made a video on for example lucky girl and i hate to talk about the episode that you just heard but yeah um i think it gets us into that classic thing of now we're not bonded in our objectification and we're not bonding we're against each other which feeds into once again the whole fucking design of the of the patriarchy which literally was a

design i hate to tell you this it's not a coincidence that we ended up like this but the whole fucking point of it is that women don't realize that they have any power they all turn against each other it's all kind of i can but i'm the exception i can climb out of it am i no that is not where any any empowerment leads it's not about what yeah that's it yeah and i think as well like on an individual level obviously we're all just out here trying to get by with our own struggles like we don't know what is it like our elbow from our ass or whatever i've said that twice now we don't know is that the phrase your elbow from your ass your ass from your elbow your ass from your elbow elbow it's so random to choose elbow you don't know your elbow from your ass your ass from your elbow your ass from your elbow elbow it's

so random to choose elbow you don't know your ass from your i think it is why anyway no it's like you don't know your ass from your nose your nose but i think it's elbow you don't know your teeth from your eyebrows yeah you just you messed up we don't know what we're doing here no um on an individual level obviously we're all out here not knowing our ass morale whatever it is but also there are i i just i want to take a moment to acknowledge that like some women really do hate women and if that is directed at you and you can't stomach the pity or like the ability to bond or like, but like if you can't bring yourself to sympathize with her for a moment, I just think take a minute to be like, okay, but you're only human. Because just because, I don't know, like we're all victims of this thing.

If it plays out towards you negatively, you don't have to be super apologetic. Just because i think it goes across all things like i think for like um kind of we tell black women or women of color that they can't be annoyed about anything really but you know towards a white woman or like a gay man might have misogyny towards women like there are just so many different pockets there's nuance here there's nuance and i i just always think, obviously, like, I think the goal and the crux of life is to remember you're human

and chances are, hopefully, everyone else is human unless they're not. Plot twist, quite exciting, but it's yet to be announced. But for now, we're human beings and so we're going to do fucked up things. But also, when you're the person being subjected to those fucked up things, I just think don't feel bad for being angry as a woman. Definitely not.

I think it's one of the most powerful. It's pretty much one of the main catalysts, I think, for getting anything done. Like, I think also like you're entitled to feel angry and do nothing. And you're entitled to feel angry and do something and you're entitled to feel angry and do something about it like it is quite angering also that like definitely the huge spectrum that exists as you were saying of like privilege of like being a white angry woman and a black angry woman it's like look there's a lot of different shit to be angry about yeah and and you're gonna get away with being angry in a way that a black woman 100% would yeah which is so fucked up but I think another thing that is unifying in some way on a human level regardless of gender or any anything

is the feeling of being and we were kind of vaguely talking about this the other day but the feeling of being infantilized and kind of defenseless and not being allowed to not having a voice basically yeah when were we talking about this um oh i think i remember i think i remember yeah i can't really say but it was something where we were in a situation where we were doing something and we didn't really it just it was all going wrong we didn't want to do it and we didn't realize that we could say we didn't want to do it and we wanted to go home and it was just a horrible thing we were stuck it was just it was awful yeah um and i i again like i think that as a human experience being made to feel

like you need to appease people and like being made to feel like you don't have a voice it's definitely a woman's experience i think as we've discussed it's definitely a woman of color's experience it's definitely something that i reckon every single person listening to this right now can relate surely and if you haven't i need tips surely you can relate to the feeling of not wanting to speak up or feeling like you actually not even being aware that you could speak up like it doesn't cross your mind that's what was so funny about you just sit down and shut your mouth and take it do you know what that is so key to that feeling of being infantilized as well like we only realized that we didn't we didn't we only realized that we didn't want to do these things after after we got home and we were like we did so much that we we didn't even

occur to us that we could say no like we just fucking went through it was like our parents being like time for maths lesson now i didn't realize i could say no with all these things yeah i genuinely felt like we were backing seven years old babies no genuinely it was like it's time for nap time now and we go and have a nap what off we went yeah we didn't even think about it no so weird and i think so much of that actually that might be quite a bonding experience is just but i think that is yeah i think that just that experience of realizing after the fact or even never realizing that you were in a situation where you were made to feel like you couldn't say anything yeah and that is so fucking wrong so and you maybe didn't even realize until two weeks two

years two decades later maybe you never realize it because no one let you know that that shouldn't have happened to you and it wasn't fair and it wasn't right and it it because no one let you know that that shouldn't have happened to you and it wasn't fair and it wasn't right and it wasn't your fault do you know the most well one of the most fucked up things about it is often in those cases and i think potentially in our case the people that were in charge maybe did realize that we didn't want to do certain things and knew that we weren't going to say anything and i think that probably yeah is one of the most shitty and also like i mean it it's reminiscent of a load of things that women deal with i.e i think social assault of someone realizing that they can they don't want to you have to they

don't want to do it but turns out you have the power so they get they can turn turns out you can do whatever the fuck you want and then i think in all the minute ways that that plays out in life of women having just to do things they don't really want to do and everyone knowing they would really rather not do this they actually don't want to do this but then it's not in their dna they haven't been raised it actually isn't their dna it's not in their fucking social conditioning to to know that they have the voice they think that they it doesn't even occur to them to use their voice and then i also think in those um kind of fleeting moments where you do think oh fuck like hang on that wasn't right i'm gonna say something it's

like now you're weighing up your safety is it is it realistic for me to use my voice here or am i gonna get myself seriously hurt or otherwise maimed like am i am i am i in trouble here if i speak up is it worth it can i be bothered will i lose a relationship i can't be bothered i'm tired i find that so scary honestly i'm knackered it's tiring being here i don't have the energy to stand up for myself every day i find that really scary like and also like when you were saying the one of the things that unites women i do think one of the main things that unites women is fear like really i think we've all known every everyone's known fear but the feeling of being scared for your body in in the way that women are scared for their bodies in every fucking way

i mean it's so universal and i i think actually that was one of the things with those kind of when tiktok became a thing and everyone was saying oh my god we're all living the same life and we all realized that we all kind of carried our fucking keys around with us or like we all kind of pretended to fake phone calls and said the same like we all realized that we all did all these things to stay safe but i've been thinking so much recently about what you basically just described of like you it's safer to say nothing so you so you're gonna go along with things because it's just safer because it's like if i say no what will that look like it will then be a fucking

bad situation so it's almost safer for it to be a just below the surface i'm not using my voice i'm so familiar with this i've been fucking trained for this my whole life i've been doing this since age since puberty since the trauma of puberty i've done been doing this yeah yeah like i'm still not over it then if the consequence of that is you might you know you think you're keeping yourself safe but you're also keeping all of us keeping that person you don't worry in the loop of doing those things yeah it's like you allow yourself hopefully the safety and you allow them to keep mistreating you and others yeah just we we further the cycle but also whose job is it to break the cycle denarius like whose whose job is it to be like hang on a minute this is a bit fucked up i'm a bit tired now do you know

what i mean like it shouldn't always be the role of the oppressed to be like hey oppressors like i hope you don't mind but i've kind of noticed a few little things i wouldn't mind changing like is there a hr department i can speak to absolutely not absolutely not but i don't see it happening the other way at all i'm not i'm not ever seeing no it's just not happening like and i think that's why it's important because these things do work on a spectrum of some women have more power than other women i do think it's the job of women in positions of power or women with more privilege to be helping the women that don't because it's not if we're waiting for men i'm sorry emma watson tried to do it with he for she back in the day it's not fucking happening like it's we've we've

given the opportunity so many times all the opportunities been there since day fucking one it's not happening like i'm not waiting for that you know what i think might be another unifying experience this is just an opportunity for us to get off our chest all the shit things that happen yeah in life but what i think is this is really disgusting so brace yourself but you know when there are men in your life like maybe closely like maybe family members or something who you love you have a good relationship with like not like weird uncle vibes like actually like a nice person or just someone that you're close to someone you love could be your dad could be anything and you feel confident in their beliefs and then it's almost like just maybe like one time or like yeah every once in a while once in a blue moon or there's just like a fleeting

moment of like something they say or like something slips out where it feels like did the mask just slip or yeah a reminder of like oh i am ultimately my crux is i'm a woman to you yeah no they're definitely do you know what there's there's a line i actually don't know what song it is but it's a jay-z lyric but i remember being so horrified by this um and he says it took for my daughter to be born to see through a woman's eyes and it's like that is horrendous but i think that is so honest of him and i reckon that is such a common experience like men can only see through a woman's eyes if that woman is half them it's like i can only see through a woman's eyes it's like he's been with beyonce for years by this point he's been with her for years and it

took for his kid to be born to see through a woman's eyes it's like that is crazy it took for a woman to be half you for you to to see what's going on here and then you still cheat on beyonce you fuck and almost like i don't know if this is too much to say but i guess it's not kind of makes sense but i kind of think as well it's like maybe the only woman on earth that you obviously wouldn't want to have sex with like unless there's something the only one that you are trying to protect really yeah like the only one that you couldn't obviously like i'm not saying jay-z is for example trying to fuck his mom but like just generally yeah like the one woman on earth who iz is for example trying to fuck his mom but like just generally yeah like the one woman on earth who i guess is safe from your gaze is the only one you could if that's the

one that was the key to seeing what women go through it's almost like jesus christ and i think that's so true like i can really see that for a lot of men i really can that it's like when they have a have a a small child a small girl in their life they would be like oh shit like the boy like this why every fucking teen movie is like you're the dad's like you're not allowed to fucking date i'm talking about 10 things i hate about you you're not allowed to fucking date it's like yeah because you know what men are like because you know what she's gonna go through because it's you that's why you're scared of this shit oh i feel i feel glum i feel glum i feel glum as hell can we raise the spirits it's hard though how do we do that glum as a bum right let's think of something funny

funny jokes like yeah the patriarchy right what's something you love about women let's celebrate these lovely ladies this goes out to the ladies in here yeah i thought you'd never ask i do love women with my whole fiber of my being with everything i think i was gonna just straight away bring it back to the glumness i think what i love about women is feeling that sense of like unity across even like strangers of just there's something shared here there's some sort of shared experience and i think you get that through so many things but i think finding it with women is really special which is why i was gonna make it and say like i find it so sad like it really hurts my soul when i feel just like really ickiness like be it between women like it just it's just so sad yeah well it's a shame because it's like we're falling into the

trap you do realize like exactly this is kind of the way they wanted it um quote unquote minority group like every any community that is marginalized i think then they're always like you always hear like black on black crime for example like they love to say like black on black crime yeah um but it's really just a symptom of what the white man is doing wrong which is like definitely in all cases really i guess but so so often like we turn against each other when there's actually a real enemy here but that's the design of it like that is if you can keep the people without power arguing amongst themselves and they don't look to the people with power that you can see that in so many structures across history yeah and then we don't even see it for ourselves but also it's like we're talking about don't worry darling i

think it's a great example to use because it's about women being oppressed but it's the reason why fucking what's his name chris pine covered in spit poor fella like it's the reason why chris pine doesn't want florence pew and olivia wild speaking he doesn't they don't want um the woman that jumped off the roof speaking to florence you don't want these women realizing that they're having a joint experience because then they'll come for you chris pine and it's the same thing you see it in like individualized cases of abuse like you could have one abuser let's say a man just yeah hypothetically speaking let's pick someone out of thin air a man no one in particular no particular order let's say a man and he is an abuser surprise surprise yeah who would have guessed

this man is an abuser i'm taking the piss here guys don't start coming for me i'm not in the mood and this man is abusing this woman right and what's he gonna do let's take a few guesses he's gonna isolate her isolate anyone who's ever loved her yeah isolate her from everyone and stop her communicating with really anyone cut off her lines of communication so that she has no validation and she has no awareness now of what is and isn't acceptable and she's only human right but it's interesting to see how that kind of format of abuse really functions on a huge scale across all of these things like gender issues racial issues like across culture across religion in so many ways it's like a mass manipulation that 100 is and also that's when it's like it's

better to have women worrying about um she's skinnier than me or she got a better she's talking about body image in the wrong way yeah it's easier to be like she oh just all the fucking shit go on twitter go on fucking instagram you'll see it you know the examples it's easier to have people doing that and that's why all this shit is marketed towards us so that we get kept up in this fucking bollocks so we don't look at the fact that we're not getting fucking paid we're fucking living and then they say it's a mother's meeting and then they say we're bitchy and we're all of these things it's like you branded us yeah to be your little patriarchy's little mistresses like sorry that we're just i don't know you're trying so hard it's bollocks isn't it do you know a thing

i love about women just i'm just gonna like lighten the freaking load a second yeah go on you know the whole thing of like the tailors all the time kind of women aren't funny women aren't fucking funny or just women aren't like name a funny female comedian women are so much funnier than men my experience my experience of women is so fucking we only value the opinions from men men are screaming about not finding women funny because they can't find something funny when they don't view it as human they just view it as something to have sex with the end the end sorry i didn't tell any jokes to dress that i'd make it funnier it's really just the audacity just the audacity to say this

women are so funny after we just deliver the most just like depressing but it's like if i know if i like name the funny people in my life oh my god just like the amount that women make me laugh like that is just something that i think like the sense of humor of women is divine so beautiful but it's also like two things i i love when it's like a a darker yeah just like more raw like gritty like something you haven't heard someone say out loud in a while or like ever that's funny and also that i think is just that the crux of that to me is purely just we don't value women's opinions because lots of women who are not projecting internalized misogyny bullshit would know that they find a lot of women funny we just don't believe them when they tell us

we just don't listen to them it's like you go and tell a man that you find loads of girls funny he's gonna say yeah of course you do like i give a shit sorry i'm making it bleak again but it's true they don't care they know women love for women they just don't care anyway but it's the same bullshit it's the same bullshit sorry i was supposed to be done but i just kept going no go on go on well i was gonna say it's the same bullshit that it's like it stops trans people being able to do things like these weird rules that they sign off of like oh a trans person can't do this or like um a black person can't do this or like the stereotypes around different groups of people yeah just keeps us in this fucking boring loop and it keeps us stuck in shit and who does it

keep in power oh let me guess the same that same guy that guy i was talking about that abuser man it's what the abuser is chris pine is that guy yeah it's that guy all right well i hope that made everyone feel good i think the crux the crux yeah if i may offer a crux is we all want the same thing here we're saying this in the last episode we all want the same thing here we just don't want anyone to get hurt we want everyone to be safe want everyone to feel confident all of this stuff it's like let's not argue amongst ourselves yeah because really all it's doing who are we talking it's like are you not arguing all of a sudden we're convinced we're in like a war field we've never been more serious ever it's like guys i'm gonna tell you

this once and for all now seriously mark you heed my words heed my words that's not argument stop fighting or like if the next time you see something that oh my god that just that girl just needs to shut the fuck up like seriously who does she think she is let's think where that's really coming from like who put that thought in your head it was a lifetime of messaging from bollocks it's not about the girl it's not about you it's about the competitive objectification that was sold to you from the moment you hit pubescy i'm sorry about it i think the moment you were born. Yeah, I agree. Let's make it even worse.

Let's make it even more depressing. It took for a girl of my kid to be born to see for a woman's eyes. Fuck you, mate. We'll see you next week, guys, if you don't hear from us. Hopefully we'll be a bit lighter then. If you don't hear from us,

truly, assume the worst.