Goes Without Saying - how to Get Over It: she does her own stunts

Episode Date: September 11, 2023

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy. It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Here's a show that we recommend. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world.
Starting point is 00:00:49 The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts. ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Goes Without Saying. You're listening to Goes Without Saying with Sefi and Wing. I'm Wing. And I'm Sefi. This is another really actually quite high energy episode of Goes Without Saying.
Starting point is 00:01:22 And we're talking about moving on and getting over romantic relationships but also just all of the shit in life that affects us and gets us down and has people waiting on us telling us to get over it telling us to move the fuck on invalidating our feelings it's not nice it's not right actually no no it's not it ain't right i'm not having that not not for us and the girls no's not right. No, it's not. It ain't right. I'm not having that. Not for us and the girls. No. Absolutely not.
Starting point is 00:01:51 Really nice if you want a bit of validation in how you're feeling, a bit of hand-holding. We're here for you. We want to keep you company. Thanks for being here. Always grateful for you. I hope you enjoy. Take one. Okay.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Lovely. Nice. Lovely stuff. Lovely stuff. Lovely stuff. take one okay lovely nice lovely stuff lovely stuff lovely lovely jubbly lovely jubbly should we get straight in or is there anything urgent absolutely nothing burning to say what about you no no couldn't agree i got stung by a wasp this morning that was something that is nothing to say about it but that's like little update for you i'm finding it really interesting i've never been stung before so almost when i was like what does it feel like you were like it felt like a sting and i was like huh i've got no scope for that then you said it was like a stinging nettle and i thought oh that i can just a classic sting feeling which is like i'm i was saying i always i'm always always always um stinging nettle stung because
Starting point is 00:02:45 i just kind of walk around in the woods you know me foraging for berries i'm always in the woods in the woodlands um so i'm always stung but i haven't been stung by a wasp since i was playing football back in the day and it one um sort of like went up my top maybe you should explain how it happened because i think it's quite a harrowing story sorry i didn't really want this to go wasp um i know but once again we're starting it off with animal crossing character who's been stunned by well i've just been swimming in the river in my wilderness way yeah um and i had my hair tied up and i was like i was letting it down i was like wait what the fuck's that in my hair and i kind of grabbed it and it stung me it was a wasp in my hair no I think that's quite a crazy story it was weird and it flew off and I was like oh my god that was a wasp and then it had
Starting point is 00:03:32 kind of it left the little stinger in in you that's what happens when the wasp stings you and I was like to my mum look the wasp just stung me and she was like oh don't worry I don't think it gave you its full load she said you were saying just the tip so that's the conversation that we've been having yeah so it was just a half sting but you know well i'm glad you've made a full covering yeah i'm okay guys i survived to tell the tale you guys asked us loads of like really good questions and we were gonna we were debating doing sort of an off the record record but then we just thought oh no like let's just get one that really hooks us like this one here I think wing you you would particularly like okay I've got um an angle here
Starting point is 00:04:11 I have a little something you got a little something yeah I have a way in just because I immediately look everything we get said like 90% of it is like no I can't even say 90% because I don't want you to think that you're the 10% that's like not like it but i mean like anything that comes from like someone like like basically like the stuff that isn't from like a random like bot account from like saudi arabia yeah is hitting it's hitting really really hard always um like it always hits and we could do a gorgeous off the record but these deserve like full conversations i think so also just quickly sorry yes would people be interested we were just talking about halloween's coming ups for kind of spooky town um autumn vibes i just had pumpkin spice latte had three sips absolutely detest what i really
Starting point is 00:05:00 want to do is go ghost hunting well we have with you why don't we do that i don't think we can afford it i will how do we do that i'll go into my overdraft how do we do that i'm already in my overdraft i can't i can't go anywhere i'll go further in i'll wade into those depths of my overdraft please how would we do that let's just go to a graveyard that's such a bit disrespectful isn't it no not a graveyard let's go to a haunted house but do you remember that one oh look if someone any anyone has any contacts if anyone has any spooky because we could do a tarot reading and film it or something like that we could but ghost hunting is another level like we need a night vision camera i will go into my overdraft i've told you it would be so i will do that when that happens it'll be the best thing that's ever happened to me like so much please can we do something for halloween this year like if you if you know us which you do yeah you'll know that we
Starting point is 00:05:50 kind of love spooky tis the season we're a bit um we're very sensible on this podcast and then we get a very little bit crazy when it comes to like ghosts and like weird shit like we love we love a sign a song oh it's a sign everything's a sign we love a sign we love a horoscope but we were thinking would you guys be interested in maybe like a spooky week we do a spooktastic bonanza you know how we did podmas and we did a lot of episodes in a row like i think we did like how many 12 12 12 episodes in a row but i think we actually did 13 because then we came back on the monday or whatever god how would you guys feel about spooky week like episode every day and they're all like spooky things
Starting point is 00:06:29 are you spooked a little bit of fun a little bit of spook i like the idea of that i like need it okay well we're doing it then we're doing it i also really want to go ghost hunting oh i really do please can we find a way to do it please if there are any ghost hunters on a budget if anyone listens to this and goes like ghost hunting and has like a little one of those meters and things like that but it needs to be good it needs to be like legit ghosts a hundred percent i'm not hanging out with illegitimate ghosts i don't want to be pranked no i don't want boring ghosts i want real venomous i want to be followed i want to be followed i don't know i really don't on that note yeah okay so yeah this this question that we got or like this message that we got kind
Starting point is 00:07:12 of it spoke to me and i thought this would be quite good just to cover our bases in terms of like if you've been made to feel it like your feelings are illegitimate yeah if you're a ghost if you've been illegitimately ghosted but i'm yeah yeah okay this person said happily in love with my boyfriend okay happy i'm happy for you congratulations yet it hurts to see my ex now dating the girl he left me for and it would it would hurt it would wouldn't it it would wouldn't it left me for it's just horrific phrasing happily in love with my boyfriend right one thing yet it hurts to see my ex now dating a girl he left me for these two things we're gonna let them coexist at the same time both will be true yeah it is mental to even suggest that because you're happy in one aspect of your life that you can't be sad
Starting point is 00:08:02 about others and we're not talking to you here we're talking to the people that have made you feel like that's a problem i'm talking once again to society at large yeah making girls feel bad about society at large i now speak directly to you because i was saying basically there was one night where i was out and i'd been with my boyfriend for ages at this point and there was a girl who was friends with another guy that i'd previously seen it makes you sound like and there was another guy and there was another guy but there was a girl there who had been friends or worked with i can't remember the relationship with another guy that i had seen before and she kind of got me confused with another girl that he had seen before and was talking about how he had basically i don't know if it was cheating but like some sort
Starting point is 00:08:45 of you know there was an overall betrayal yeah there was some sort of overlap that had been happening some sort of foul play had happened it kind of is cheating though isn't it yeah so i guess let's call it cheating yeah so he cheated and i thought well the misunderstanding was i thought he had cheated on me i haven't been with this guy for years at this point i thought he had cheated on me alack he hadn't he cheated on some other unknowing girl poor soul poor unfortunate soul i recently watched the little mermaid remake by the way the new one yeah the new one i really love her oh she's divine so beautiful it's kind of the only reason i want to watch it is her like i have no desire such a mermaid but such a mermaid stunning wow absolutely like kind of the
Starting point is 00:09:27 most beautiful person i've ever seen in my life it kind of got me into mermaid lore in a way because i've never really cared too much about mermaids i have to say no i'm always so sad yeah honestly and i just thought that is a fascinating thing i kind of think i would be a mermaid oh that's fun jack's dad used to call me little mermaid because I used to be in the bath all the time anyway oh god that's the best place to be do you know what have you did you watch h2o was that like a thing you liked you know what I liked the adverts but I feel like I could never catch it my grandma my grandma had circled it in the newspaper for me like poppy will like poppy will like my family call me poppy if you didn't already know um like poppy needs to watch this h2o about just had water mermaids and loved it from day one did you get
Starting point is 00:10:09 into it someone actually said they reminded us of people from h2o really do you know who i'm seeing i'm ricky throwing through i'm so ricky well i was i think i was one with brown hair clay i clay i yeah so who were you i'm either ricky or emma i think i'm ricky i i would identify as a ricky bit of a cool bit of a tough tough girl i don't think you were ricky i don't think you were i'm emma i think they were saying emma yeah i don't really want to be emma i'll be lewis i'm sure they said emma and cleo i'm lewis do do you know who i used to fancy who ricky's boyfriend zayn zayn zayn there's a bit where she he's like he's like the bad boy a bit like a leather jacket bad boy um brown brown swooped hair and he does something bad to ricky and she sets off a fire
Starting point is 00:11:01 hydrant oh and it like gets him soaking wet oh my god he looks like someone who's own he looks like you can't put that name in that's my old house i won't i won't yeah actually i'm so excited i'm gonna see in lisbon soon oh my god he does look doesn't it oh my god that's insane doesn't it that's actually mad when i would go swimming with my friends we'd be like everyone underwater now and they'd swim in like a very like sort of fish-like way like their arms above their heads and then you'd be i'm no ordinary girl ouch yeah i know the theme i know the thing it's so iconic you would have loved it so basically i was i thought this girl was telling me that i'd been cheated on when i hadn't some other poor soul had been cheated on or some sort of like equivalent of being cheated on and i was
Starting point is 00:11:50 pissed off obviously and i was in my head kind of rewriting my history and that can happen alongside being happy in your present day you can be like reassessing what your past means to you right now yes it is so weird and it shouldn't raise any alarms even think but i think it's because people are one-dimensional i think people are like look you whatever like oh you're seeing him now so everything's fine like oh you're doing this now so blah blah blah like yeah if you were really happy you wouldn't even be thinking about well that's the phrase almost like but you're like i thought you were happy i thought you were happy in your current relationship it's like guys that's obviously not how it works like people just like to pretend they don't have feelings i think i think if we keep it one dimensional we keep it
Starting point is 00:12:33 flat and we keep it safe i think people are a bit um blind when it comes to uh romantic relationships though because you're only also i believe in whatever you want to do for yourself but for me monogamy is what i'm your way i'm not that's so i'm coming from that perspective but because the general population kind of believes in you're only allowed one person at a time it creates a thing that was almost like okay so you almost are whoever you're with at that moment you have to write off your feelings towards everyone else when realistically that is not how anything works like you can believe in monogamy and want to be with one person exclusively without it being like okay so shut off your brain that ever had thoughts about anyone else it's like
Starting point is 00:13:20 this is why people get funny about the conversation about exes or fancying other people like jealousy is a huge thing in romantic relationships because we we're taught from such an early age that when you're with someone you love them exclusively you only like them exclusively and anything from your past you've completely sort of got over you have to be over it but actually it's like what does that actually mean like there is no marker of oh i'm over that and usually what's used as the marker is oh you're able to love someone else or be interested in someone else but it's like that is such a vague marker because you could be happy with someone one day and then still be very very upset about something that happened 30 years ago
Starting point is 00:13:59 definitely even the same day yeah even in the same five minutes yeah i think as well what you're saying about like monogamy and stuff and like the idea of like you have to be exclusively kind of wrapped up in one person it kind of just feeds back into it i guess we're tying disney back in but like the idea of like you're watching princes and princesses exclusively dedicate themselves i guess mostly princesses dedicate themselves to this like one prince and really like funneling and narrowing down your existence your whole life your whole being like all of your interests all of your history all of your experiences narrowing it down into this very fine minute existence that really is only there to serve somebody else it's only really there to serve men as well like i i've actually had a bit of a sort of conundrum about um oh yeah why men who are the rulers of this world under the patriarchy such
Starting point is 00:14:50 a good question why men why men why men i am confused i have been confused all this why men fruit nectar swimming sunbathing why men so true avocado on toast why men roller coasters why men you don't have to tell me twice do you know what i mean why men biology damn it watermelon why men it's true friendship why men i don't understand anyway i've been confused for the past few years about why men have allowed under their rule to allow monogamy to exist really because i was seeing monogamy as something that seems seemed to me i've actually come to the answers very um in the last few years of why they've allowed it because it once again does benefit them and um i was blind um but i was thinking why did they allow it because it seems to
Starting point is 00:15:42 me that men want to be non-monogamous they want to be able to kind of explore every everything or like you get the kind of andrew tate hate to bring his name in the kind of alpha argument of like men are biologically um promiscuous whereas women are biologically like they want one thing and almost like you can see it would serve women more to have one one man kind of caring for their kids whatever in just the way we've evolved so i was like why have men invented this concept of marriage then that seems to not really benefit them then i came to the actual answer of like oh it because it allows them to view women as property or not even view them it allows them to turn women into property own women to own them and they can still fuck whoever they want exactly they're not tied to anything but more than anything
Starting point is 00:16:28 it allows them to ensure that their children are their children because that woman is not allowed to get with anyone else outside outside of that and it has kind of made me think okay so the reason why we desire there being one man in our lives even though I have been brainwashed as well into thinking I only want one man I very much buy into the concept of love even though I don't buy into the concept of marriage but it is actually a structure that has been designed to benefit men it is quite an interesting thing that we have then managed to turn it into like almost of course a romantic desirable like marker of success but we've almost managed to trick ourselves into it's like a mutually beneficial thing if like two people entering into one thing together when it's so
Starting point is 00:17:15 nothing in this life is mutually beneficial it's nothing in this life is equal no nothing is i think also the idea of like well if you love someone you don't have the capacity to feel anything about anybody else kind of feeding into the idea of like when you were saying about jealousy and like i guess feeding into the idea of ownership but obviously as women there's so much competition that you're kind of bred with from like a really really young early age understanding that other women aren't like your peers or your friends or your lovers but your enemies and your competition and that the validation or like acceptance um desire or like even ownership in like the end goal kind of sense from a man is the end goal of
Starting point is 00:17:59 life or like the only way to survive i guess if not a goal the things that we've been told it breeds and kind of it feeds into the idea of looking at anyone else it's almost like you can only like me and if you have a single thought about anyone else that threatens my validity as a human being their idea of what marriage and love is because they were brought up on this thing of like okay so you become one person you are now you kind of belong to each other when you get married and it's like oh wait but if you if i then hear that you think someone else is hot or that yeah you kind of got a bit upset by something that happened 12 years ago then that threatens the kind of delusion that we've all bought into that when you um are with someone you'll kind of
Starting point is 00:18:45 yeah nothing else exists yeah it's apart from who i am to you yeah it's completely delusional it doesn't allow for any of the scope of like the actual human existence yes acas powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals.
Starting point is 00:19:18 Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer, and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. a cast helps creators launch grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere a cast.com and it kind of it's like that willful naivety of like the blissful ignorance of
Starting point is 00:19:58 we savvy and i have this conversation all the time about like communication is everything like if we are if we like play into the naivety that kind of we're told to of like that's fine haha smiley face all good no like all of this like you need to be if you're in a long time not even long time if you are with are you having a conversation with someone that you actually give a shit about you're gonna need to be real and open with them at some point otherwise the relationship that you have is fake and that's fine i guess if you're happy to have a fake relationship but the the relationships that are like really meaningful and real aren't don't have that much room for like fakeness and like nicety and brushing things under the rug things that go without saying like i do think things that if there are things that are like almost you know when you're brushing something under the rug
Starting point is 00:20:49 i think that can be such a distressing thing in a friendship or relation or any kind of partnership really where it's like okay if i believe that we are on the same page about things and we are like going through this life together in some way if i know that i have something that i haven't said it just eats away at me so much and it will eat us alive the relationship is no more and what's the point of having a relationship i don't even think it is like a one-on-one thing like it doesn't even have to be a partnership but just generally in life what's the point of having a relationship to someone or something if there are things that you're holding under the surface that kind of just wash over it just makes it fake it's just less rewarding like you're um doing yourself a disservice by not allowing yourself to have
Starting point is 00:21:36 this like amazing thing that you could enjoy yeah but i do think it also kind of feeds into the idea of like we don't exist we're not like each other's fictional characters in other people's lives. Like the people that you have in your life are real full people with like long histories and existences and experiences that loads of things you don't know anything about. And they are 100% in their rights and to have that. And that is painful sometimes because it means they've been to places that you haven't or said things that you have never heard or been with people that you don't know and that's valid that that might hurt like i i think that's fair but it's beyond our rights to desire or like expect other people to ditch everything in their
Starting point is 00:22:20 existence that doesn't serve you because they're not there to serve you they're there to have a human experience that's part of the delusion that we've been brought up with we have been brought up with the delusion that as soon as you enter into that this is why i'm kind of yeah forget everything else i don't know that like i see it a lot i actually see it a lot lot lot around when i look around the people i know and the people in the world that people are so willing to abandon everything about themselves to fit in with a guy or whoever their kind of love is at that moment their romantic interest see it every day just the the speed at which people change everything about themselves or just like drop things they love or things that were important to them a couple months ago just to
Starting point is 00:23:05 not even it's not even consciously fit in with a guy but just to like because they feel magnetically drawn to them and they bought into this concept of like kind of a two become one situation and also buying into the concept of the achievement of it and the ticking something and the rush as well exactly like one of the things that i say to my friends often who i see getting caught in this and i'm not saying that i'm immune to getting caught in it but i think i've got my wits about me to some extent but i often say it's like um oh shit what was it the rush something you say to your friends like when whenever i hear my friends say things like um oh i just want to be with him forever or like i know that i'm going to be with him forever or like i want the next person i'm with to be the person i'm with forever i often say do you know
Starting point is 00:23:51 how long forever is which is brutal but i think it's so forever is a long time i don't think that's like so i think that's i think part of the myth that women are told or part of the like um the pressure and the fear that women are told is that of the like um the pressure and the fear that women are told is that you need to do this stuff in like your early 20s or like in your 30 early 30s whatever like you want to there's a biological clock blah blah that's one thing but the pressure to kind of hit these milestones of like marriage house um sort of being a fiance like all of this that all of this stuff do you know how long forever is like you are committing in your whatevers to be with this person forever forever why are you in
Starting point is 00:24:32 a rush to do that well i do think it says something about the person i don't want to shame anybody but i was actually having this conversation recently with someone who i won't name hey if you're listening you might not recognize yourself in this they never do talking about that's the thing i love most about people this is a good thing no this is a good thing so they might um themselves in stories um she was saying basically about like a lot of her friends are their parents are still together yeah and the ways that we can tell the difference between like someone in your life whose parents are together and have always are together and have always been together and whatever and their kind of visions of love and their the way that they
Starting point is 00:25:09 act in relationships and their perspective on life like i know my perspective on life and love is so shaped by everything that i saw my parents do and my parents aren't together anymore um and it i i think a lot of people think they haven't been impacted by their parents and specifically their parents relationships but i do think it's interesting to consider yeah someone who might be looking to spend forever with one person when they've also had i guess you know in lots of ways a luxury of seeing their parents being together a luxury you know their whole life 100 it is it's a luxury but also i guess it has its own you know there's pros and cons to that there are definitely
Starting point is 00:25:50 but you do get a naivety from it which i think must be completely lovely yeah yeah or just like the level i don't know the the level of trauma that actually comes from your parents kind of splitting up and like going between like kind of packing your bag to go to your dad's house and things like that to not have had to experience that kind of weird like fragmented childhood is a luxury and also kind of the i guess just like almost there's like a low level of knowing of like everything ends yeah nothing is nothing is forever like to even have the idea of a relationship being forever is kind of um so holy the antithesis of experiencing your parents divorcing as a child that's not to say forever is impossible no it's
Starting point is 00:26:42 not of course it's not because also like we've seen it time and time again i'm just almost saying the fantasy i've seen people hold on to things that are no good basically that are literally all the terrible terrible situations because they bought so heavily into the fantasy through no fault of their own they've literally been bombarded with the fantasy their whole lives but they have bought into the fantasy of like being together forever forever and and never being alone but so much so that they will stay with anyone with literally anyone people any old scrap yeah it is bad it's painful it's bad for your health it's really bad for your health so i think that's just a kind of um harry i speak to you moment of like totally really really you are worth so much just so much more than kind of the world has told you that you're worth that you should just like not be happy so that you can
Starting point is 00:27:39 like fulfill your role as like dutiful kind of girlfriend fiance wife mother grandmother like you don't need to do that with anyone that you don't want to do that with like you don't stay with someone for the fantasy of like the narrative almost that you've built up like i pictured my whole future with them it's like yeah but that was um an illusion that may or may not have been an illusion and i think allowing yourself to be um fluid and changing and someone who explores is also kind of directly it it directly opposes the things that we're sold as women of like yeah just be a good wife sort of thing because it doesn't serve men for you to know that you're worth anything or have any fun or go and explore or go and maybe i don't know sleep with some a few guys like go and find out what you might go and live your life it doesn't serve men so they don't tell you that it's
Starting point is 00:28:30 actually a desirable option they tell you to go buy a fucking expensive white shitty ugly dress and walk down an aisle and spend all your money on a shitty day because the rest of your life is gonna be shit sorry it going to be really bad. If you thought before the wedding was shit. It's going to be really bad. Not that marriage is going to be bad, but what men want for you. No, but selling into someone else's dream is bad. What the patriarchy wants for you is not good.
Starting point is 00:28:58 It's not good. So I'd say be wary of anything that seems to fit within those roles. Yeah. And I think anything that tells you that you need to be this perfect one thing and kind of like tying back to the initial message about being currently happy with somebody but still feeling a certain feeling about something in the past and letting those things happen at the same time and not necessarily feeling bad about it or like
Starting point is 00:29:22 feeling like you're doing something wrong for just letting your feelings not at all be but people do love to make you feel like you're doing something wrong in this life it's their hobby it's their hobby it's their pastime i just think whatever you're doing trust yourself like you know you know whether something feels right to you or feels wrong to you yeah deep down you do know i hope people do know i think deep down people do know like i think people are very good at putting up front of being like no we're happy no it's fine is that's the phrase that's cognitive dissonance yeah is that the phrase if you if you have a sort of dissonance of the brain feel that you're happy but there's a niggling underneath google the phrase cognitive dissonance because i've seen some examples of it every day every day have you ever been in a situation where you've been feeling a
Starting point is 00:30:09 certain way and you've kind of been made to feel like almost silly or like almost maybe patronized for feeling that way or like for just living life in your way sort of thing yeah a hundred percent like do you feel comfortable to share yeah i'll share the one that i was talking to you about this just before i think i'm gonna be very vague but as we've just previously discussed people don't recognize themselves in stories they don't it's the biggest gift of being a podcaster people just don't have a clue what they've said it's actually quite great i've spoken a little bit on the podcast i think quite vaguely about how i was seeing a guy that i met in america we were kind of long distance dating it's very nice we went on holiday together and it ended after the holiday right that's what kind of happened those are the bare bones between the lines yeah yeah um and that
Starting point is 00:30:55 happened in that was kind of a month and a half ago now that kind of not long not long at all um but i only very recently actually when i was down in brighton with you i remember saying like this is the first time since that that i've noticed it noticed myself noticing hot guys i've been like oh that's that guy is kind of good looking like that guy's cute like okay like i'm i'm kind of seeing people like that again like it took me a while to almost like all all i was thinking was like oh he was kind of great but like not like i was basically when it when i ended it with it we kind of mutually ended it but i was very very sure that i didn't want to be with him by the end of the holiday
Starting point is 00:31:36 um and even though i knew that and i was very firm in that it's still i really wanted to allow myself to like take the time to like almost like mourn my expectations of how i would have felt about him after the holiday and i was kind of mourning how i thought i would feel about him rather than actually like the loss of him if that makes sense um perfect sense and i was kind of this over the last few weeks i've been like okay okay there's a guy there i've been back on my hinge game you might have heard our advert for hinge that the eyes are wandering rolling around the podcast world hope so um it's actually not yet oh well it should be soon hasn't been approved well once it's been approved or you might not if it gets unapproved i hope so yeah if they
Starting point is 00:32:21 disapprove hinge disapprove of us that'll be gutting and i was in a conversation with someone recently where i was saying that that like okay so i'm starting they were like any and you dating anyone blah blah and i was like no no like it's taken me not even a while but like it's taken me a bit of time i'm still thinking about it i'm processing and also like i'm just starting to get the kind of whispers of like new things like i'm not yeah i have not been the last thing i've been doing ask me i agree it's got my wits about me this is what i mean like i'm not yeah i have not been the last thing i've been doing ask me i agree it's got my wits about me this is what i mean guys i'm not what what's she rushing there's no there's no where are they going there's no there's no rush there's these men are sticking around
Starting point is 00:32:53 i do not feel a rush because if you they're not going when you rush you end up with oh god from my learnings that's what lately yes um and my friend who i was speaking to she was like oh really like oh my god how come and it was one of those things where it was like you don't get me you actually just don't get me and that is fine but all like we have different understandings of what the like kind of romantic experiences i guess because one experience one expectation her expectation in it is that you should find someone as quick as possible and kind of commit and do and do that yeah and that's you're on that um path now sort of thing but my expectation my like thing for myself is that i really want to take my time explore my freedom be alive enjoying myself i don't know
Starting point is 00:33:46 but people seem to really dislike it people seem to really really really want me to just have a boyfriend that's kind of what people want from me well i think because a lot of people struggle to be with themselves and i think then they would look to other people and think, why would you be happy being by yourself? And it's easier to kind of do the pitying angle of like, oh, you poor thing. Oh, you can't get up. Oh, you can't do that. Oh, you poor thing.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Like that sort of thing. I hate it. And we know that I hate pity. Oh, nothing. Yeah. Wrong crowd. It's a real tough crowd. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:22 It's a large person. He's pity. I think just however, look, it's your, do crowd yeah it's a large person he's pretty i think just however look it's your do you know what i mean wasn't a sentence but you get what i mean i feel like you get what i mean let's just let everyone do their thing like just can you just let the girls just let the girls why men because you might let the girls i'm gonna leave it there okay um that was nice episode up and down and loop the loop loop de loop okay please can we go ghost hunting oh i like need it
Starting point is 00:34:56 no i really need it basically what sparked this i think on a deep level is that we watched the h3 video of them ghost hunting which if you haven't seen it so good they like dress up as stranger things characters which it doesn't really sell it but it's just so good imagine their costumes for ghost hunting oh please please i know people don't really have like contacts in the ghost industry like what is that no but if you do if any of you know any ghosts like your auntie around is any ghosts that need to kind of be passed on to the other world and we they need help kind of pushing them we can help bring sephie bring sephie and wing in yeah we are the ones we're obviously the main contenders here who else you asking like i almost just know that some of you
Starting point is 00:35:35 have kind of like a cousin's best friend's auntie i do have a cousin you do have a spooky cousin but i don't know if he's very spooky these days could we ask kind of happily married and like he's just living a peaceful life i don't know if let's pull him out of his peaceful life and put him straight into a sale should i like please maybe i will i'll text him and say do you know any spooky do you have any spooky contacts that we could do some spooky content with we need it would you guys be interested in that basically whether you are or you're on i think you'll love it yeah no look forward to it all right we'll look if you don't hear from us it's even the worst wendy's small frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment. And not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy.
Starting point is 00:36:28 It's also refreshingly cheap. Just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet.

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