Goes Without Saying - paedophilic beauty standards and white supremacy: in this essay, i will-

Episode Date: December 21, 2020

not you fetishising pre-pubescent girls and calling it a 'preference'!! in this episode we're discussing how beauty standards have been informed by paedophile culture, white supremacist ideals & fatphobia. from your mcm's porn history to mainstream media's obsession with youth, we're breaking down how beauty standards are actually pretty ugly. join the conversation every monday. speak your mind on instagram! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

ACAST powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay?

So why don't more people know this? I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer and we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts.

Acast helps creators launch, grow and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com Hello guys and welcome back to Goes Without Saying. I'm Sefi, I'm with Wing and today we're talking about beauty standards and how our society is shaped by an absolutely fucked up kind of smorgasbord of paedophile culture, white supremacy, fatphobia and a whole load of disgusting things that culminate to make a pot of disgusting culture and patriarchal nightmare. Yeah we get angry in this episode i spent a lot of time on porn hub for some reason yeah we go on porn hub what were we thinking just keep listening to hear how that pans out we asked you a load of questions on our instagram

which is at sephian wing um loads of questions about beauty about beauty standards and you. About beauty crush. About beauty crush the YouTuber. About Sammy Maria my queen. About Indie her daughter. So let's get going. This one's quite bleak that I found. We might as well just start it with a depressing one why not. Yeah. So they said I have to make up for my flat chest. If I have abs and a bum, men will make an exception for my tits. And I think she's being sort of satirical about her past mindset or her mindset of like, oh, well, if I do this, then men will make an exception. Oh, I hope so. But the phrase men will make an exception for my tits is just the most depressing thing

I've ever heard, I think. So if I have abs and a bum, then I'm allowed small boobs. But if I do not have abs and a bum then i'm allowed small boobs but if i do not have abs and and a bum then my small boobs are unacceptable everyone's crying the whole place went up in tears isn't it depressing this world this world yeah it is depressing okay so there's lots to unpack there where should we begin with the fact that men it's all for men it's the male gaze it's that oh well men will allow it okay so our bodies literally are not our own then yeah their performances they're just performing their

piece of performance art that you walk around in hoping that men will make an exception i wonder how different our lives would be i wonder how different our bodies would be i wonder how different our representation of ourselves would be and our self-expression and our body image would be if men were not didn't exist drops off the face of the earth yeah right oh what a wonderful world i'm literally joking but i also think it not even meant the concept of gender masculinity and femininity if those dropped off the face of the earth then it oh what a wonderful world like literally you don't have to be like oh with my big boobs then don't make me feminine so if i get a big bum then i'll perform femininity in that way and the male gaze will be like pleased with me lots of people are

saying similar things also about like celebrity culture and the influence of like the media yeah on the way that we feel about the way that we look and like the importance that's placed on the way that we look and i don't know if someone i don't know where someone said this but i'm sure someone said to us something about that we've outgrown the need for celebrities now and i was just thinking of could we ever have a in the way that could we ever have a world that didn't in some way work on the structure of beauty standards could we ever have a world that wouldn't commodifying beauty exactly could we ever have a world that functions without putting some people on a pedestal for whatever reasons that the structures have decided to honor that's so interesting like would we

will we always have beauty standards yes right i think you could have beauty standards without having celebrities though because i do think the concept of celebrity in itself even though there are celebrities that i fucking love it's a toxic concept it's a concept that makes you feel peripheral to what's going on in the world for everyone involved yeah and and also if you're on the upper end of that you have money and load of screaming people your little kind of 15 year old justin bieber egging people's houses yeah and you're being called a fucking fat slut by the daily mail but beauty standards exist in a culture without celebrity but just not in the same way but would we ever be in a society that we wouldn't have beauty standards because so much of our lives are visual and so much of the way that we perceive ourselves within the world is through visual i don't know i literally don't know because i think

we've got such an attachment to like the outwards presentation of like self and how that kind of your clothes they are they are some marker of your identity it's like are they really though are they really that is you now yeah exactly you wore jeans once now you are the ambassador for jeans denim is you okay so what were some beauty standards that you clung to growing up oh so many or that you felt that you looking back now you see that you're identified with so many so many should i give you the list yeah so starts off number one smackarooni number one is wait and i'm sure everyone is just screaming same everyone's like same wait we knew it would be wait yeah it's like yeah everyone because it's fucked we were all told

that the epitome of beauty is this tiny little minuscule woman this tiny little elf of a woman that can kind of just float through life so you put that idea that visual you put onto yourself do you also see that in in the way that you to find or you would be more inclined to find someone because a lot of people said this they would be more inclined to find someone attractive or pretty or no understand that somebody is good looking if they were skinny for example not just in yourself but was it something that you saw yourself seeing in other people and just like picking up on other people's weight yeah i 100 have internalized the idea that thinness equals beauty and or even like a

worthiness my past self certainly i think also like the way the media is changing has obviously had an impact and also my own personal journey with like therapy and fucking body dysmorphia has also impacted like i do think now i don't think that so much but definitely definitely it's gone in and like it's a hashtag journey of undoing unpicking all of those things that went in to tell you like if you were thinner then you just you're more deserving you're more desirable and i think yeah of course i project that onto myself and other people yeah what do you think was one thing that like interrupted that thought for you, like stopped you thinking that way? Or helps stop you thinking that way? Like, do you remember one of the first turning points that you had, like maybe when you were younger? Because now I think

it feels quite far away. But when you were like a teenager, or do you mean when was the first kind of inkling of like, no, this is fucked. And I actually don't believe it. I spoke about this on the stories like a while ago but there's a youtube channel called style like you yeah style like fucking you yeah if you do not watch these videos and you're a human being i just don't know they're everything they're so everything they unpack a beauty standards of kind of like pedophile culture white supremacy kind of fat phobic women hating world that we live in in such an amazing way and i just think they were one of the i watched an old one of lizzo

actually i think this is just one of them and it's lizzo kind of before she was famous wearing like a bright red wig like she just looks amazing and i love her and i mean lizzo talking about anything i'm so here for but i think the way they unpack beauty standards in that interview i think was one that i was like yeah okay and i had no idea no idea who lizzo was no idea yeah yeah but i was like this woman knows some shit why what did she say i can't remember but what types of what was the kind of message that something in that would have resonated with you in some way that nothing else had previously i think the overarching message of that entire channel and to be honest it's something that we really push on here is you've been sold this this is a product the idea of being thin being perfect

as a woman and also they talk about aging and all of these things like all beauty standards it's a product a group of men sat around in a boardroom they designed this okay well we'll sell this shampoo that makes your hair like that it's nothing more than capitalism at work it's like an insidious structure that's making you hate yourself and if it all went away you would still be you yeah well i'm not fucking giving those cunts money yeah completely what about you like was there one thing that you feel has really impacted your relationship with like beauty standards i think just knowing that everything and not just beauty standards just life is confirmation bias so if you are good if you are seeking to hate yourself you're gonna make it happen because you will as we say find the evidence for what you choose to believe

yeah and so no matter how many times you might be told something or how no matter what the reality might be if you're going to choose to ignore it because ultimately you just are choosing to be miserable then you will choose to be miserable and you'll find the evidence to be miserable which i think sounds really obvious but i think if you really sit with it and if you keep it with you i don't think it does sound so like because i remember thinking just little things like if you were sit with it and if you keep it with you i don't think it does sound off here so like because i remember thinking just little things like if you were validated in that way you could never feel bad about the way that you looked and then i was validated in that way and i still felt

bad about the way that i looked and in another way and in another way and then it's like okay well nothing's gonna be nothing if nothing external is going to make you feel validated for who you are or for the way that you look or x y and z first of all you have to validate that within yourself and second of all you don't really have to validate the way that you look anyway because it doesn't really mean anything no isn't it the craziest sort of revelation because you've been told your whole life well you've been told two things your whole life you've been told kind of beauty is from outside like perform perform perform but you've also been kind of told this like vague message of like it's all from within

yeah beauty comes from within beauty is confidence yeah it is confidence and it's kind of having some element of respect for yourself yeah it's really weird when it clicks fuck i'm in control of how i perceive myself absolutely and we were just chatting actually before we pressed record as usual about all of the different messages where people were saying the exact same thing of how much time that they've wasted and i think you just get to a certain point where it's like look i'm not i'm not wasting time anymore like i'm wasting time by pretending that i think i'm unattractive or x y and z it's like let's cut the shit i'm not pretending anymore i can see in this way i'm perfect and in

that way nothing matters whatever like when people compliment you please don't say no i'm not or no it's not or no that's not true oh my god let that sink in and say it back to yourself from yourself because i think we're raised with feeling like we have to deny any compliment what do you say when someone compliments you like if i said oh my god you're looking so nice today so the other day i was talking to my mum actually i was telling seph about this the other day um just yesterday actually when we went to record this episode for the first time and i said i don't want to do it so i was speaking to my mum the other day and i was going through i found like some old photos of my parents when they were young and i found some of my mum like on her wedding day.

And I sent them to her and I said, I wish I looked a bit more like you. Because I look nothing like my mum. Like I wish I had. And I kind of thought that growing up anyway, because she was white. And she had like, she's very point, like very pointy white, like small whiteness. Petite. Yeah. But I said to her the other day, I wish I looked like a little bit more like you.

Like I would have loved to have your nose or like X y and z and she was like but you're so beautiful and i was like i know but like it would be nice to look like you a bit and she and then she was like replied to it like heart heart heart like really happy or whatever and i was like i'm just i'm done with being like i'm not no i'm not and like i'll never be well and i want to look like you it's like i'm not no you want to sit here and lie like yeah i'm happy with the way that i look the end because then also she then said she was like wow like looking back at these photos like i never thought i was good looking like i always thought i was really horrific growing up and then when you look back and see like oh no actually i was pretty cute

i was like i was tricked and then she said i'm not vain or anything like not to be vain but like and i was like that's such a shame that even then you have to preface it you have to say i'm not being vain so obviously you're not being vain it's okay to not hate yourself it goes without saying is that you don't have to be self-deprecating to not be an arsehole you can like yourself and still be a decent person you can literally not mind the way that you look that's okay one of my favorite things to do in life is to watch the reaction of kind of oh my god i love your shoes thanks i know they're from blah blah blah and it's like oh i didn't expect you to be like liking your own shoes you cocky bitch but then hopefully it rubs off on that person i think because it's almost like oh sephie said i know when i complimented her shoes so yeah fuck it maybe i'll be a bit more like that

yeah maybe it does i think of it more as like haha you thought i was gonna fucking fall for that trick well yeah but then also nice for people to know that you can acknowledge that you have positive things in life and no one people might think you're a bit strange but it doesn't affect you if anything it just makes you happier makes you live a more peaceful life where you are more at peace with yourself i do also think there's an there's the other end of the the other side of the coin if you will you open the curtains there's another there's a darker side to this whole thing i mean there's it's already a pretty dark side imagine there's an even darker side with the whole like self-love culture for example i've seen it before where it's kind of a

performance of i'm so fit like i'm so this blah blah it's like look you're not feeling good about yourself we we can see through it look this is an intervention we know you're feeling suicidal i know it you hate the way you look but have you never seen that where it's like someone absolutely for example it's quite it's like a trendy thing to do to post a picture of yourself and be like, I know I look fucking good or something. Like you do a little caption that's like, I'm so cute or something. Love it. Absolutely love the vibe.

But I think it's become kind of popular to do that. I often see people doing it as almost like a defense thing. And it kind of has the same energy of calling yourself ugly to me. Absolutely. Yeah. It's like you haven't even accepted yourself let alone loved yourself it's the energy of have you seen pitch perfect no fat amy from pitch perfect she calls herself fat amy so no one can call her fat like why don't you just be amy for a sec yeah it's like that that movie came out years ago if someone called you fat amy you get over it because it means more about them than anything that it has to do with you i mean i do love that film i'm sure i would too you haven't

seen it no i haven't seen any of them oh my god that's breaking my little heart cut to me practicing the cup song you don't know the riff-offs no and we you know what we've had this conversation before and i believe you said the exact phrase you don't know the riff offs no i don't i think i could do the entire riff off each song from each team back to back the thing is it's one of those things that i've always known i need to get around to watch yeah you do it's good i sometimes when i'm in a bad mood like if i'm really sad i go onto youtube my go-to place anyway and i type in um pitch perfect final performance the i do watch the bella's final performance or i believe they're called here comes treble is that anna kendrick yeah i don't like anna kendrick though i love her really i think it's my internalized misogyny i

think that's your internalized misogyny jumping out no wait i know it is why though what about her don't you like i just can't place it there's just something about her it's fully that i know it is so if anna kendrick's listening i'm really sorry well i love you anna so don't worry i also have that about um anne hathaway you've got it i'm not gonna lie you've got it about quite a lot of people don't you yeah no i do me and my sister were going through this every day we're like let's try and find one actress that we don't have some form of internalised misogyny about. And we were going through all these actors and we couldn't find one. Because I remember when we lived together

and I was arguing with you and our friend who we lived with at the time about... About Millie Bobby Brown. Millie, poor old fucking child. She's a fucking minor. I know. I feel bad about this. And they were going, we hate her.

She's just so annoying. They were going, watch this clip. Watch this clip. It's like, this is fucked up. This is a child. I feel bad about this and they were going we hate her she's just so annoying they're going watch this clip watch this clip it's like this is fucked up this is a child I feel bad about that to this day because now when someone says they don't like Millie Bobby Brown I'm like I used to say that but really dig deep it's your internalised misogyny yeah she's just a confident child yeah she's just a child she's lovable she's lovable yeah she's lovable she's great there's no one like her and to be honest so is probably Annana kendrick and anne hathaway anna kendrick is great i'm not gonna lie oh anne hathaway you can't undeny the talent you cannot deny the talent what is her talent what does she do she acts

she acts and i think i think she's i think she's a real force i feel like she's almost like out of this generation oh i love it she's almost quite otherworldly i'm not like the biggest fan of her but she's like a massive deal hathaway no she's a massive deal but i always think i see her in every film she's in every film but then i was like but what well surely there's a reason for that god and i see her and she's just so successful and all these accolades. She wins all the Oscars. Suspicious to me. ACAST powers the world's best podcasts.

Here's a show that we recommend. Nature. I've got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm got a gay rooster named Francois. Is so gay. These rams are gay. I'm studying gay animals. Does that mean I'm gay? So why don't more people know this?

I'm Owen Ever. I'm Lane Kaplan-Levinson. And this is a field guide to gay animals. A podcast about queerness in the natural world. The animal kingdom is queer. And we are a part. Find a field guide to gay animals on Spotify, Apple. Or wherever you get your podcasts.

ACAST helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. ACAST.com okay this message i loved loved with a sad face they said i don't feel beautiful anymore now that i'm disabled and chronically ill and to me i just thought that perfectly sums up the way that like a woman is only allowed to exist if she exists as like a sexual object that is desirable yeah like your whole exit like you're going through these horrific things but that's not important what's important is whether you're still pretty is the beauty it yeah can this be beautiful for who i almost think there's nothing to say it's just eye rolls do you know what i mean like it's like i don't oh do we

have anything to say in this episode apart from just like fuck everything this world's fucked i do think it's one of the sad things that it's like for example someone gets cancer not only are they going through a horrific process of trying to like not die they also are going to go through chemotherapy they lose their hair then it's suddenly like right okay now i've got to get a wig now it's like oh let's just not impose this bullshit on people it's not about any of this absolute fucked up shit yeah because it is so unfair it is so unfair that you could be having all of this the reality of a situation like that is real to be disabled and chronically ill is a real experience the concept of beauty is not real or tangible because it's just like it's like trying to catch what does he say with your bare hands like trying to catch smoke with your bare smoke that's that one guy talking about serious black for anyone

and he also says not the grin you idiot the grim but yeah he has two lines he has two lines there's two lines i love that um trying to catch smoke and he kind of looks into the distance dovetown that's not far from here oh yes three lines no no that's a minor line that's just that's just that's um i love that whole film um but yeah you're going through sorry i'm like you're going through a really horrific situation i love that whole bit more prisoner of azkaban we all do well oh you know i do i thinker of Azkaban, we all do. Well, oh, you know I do. I think Prisoner of Azkaban is my favourite. Yeah, it's objectively the best. The best. I love that they all have quite long,

all the boys have quite long hair in that. And Hermione, look, I hate to sexualise a child, but I'm not the first to do it. Hermione is looking so beautiful in that film. In her purple hoodie, no, pink hoodie. Yeah, little pink hoodie and little jeans, which I wanted so bad and absolutely recreated and wore for like a year straight and she punches malfoy hard in the

face that's a moment so good what does he say so good you foul love some evil little cockroach stunning so good okay well can we talk about that then back to chronically ill well i i that in part i think does go with the hermione thing because it's like okay so this is like a young witch right well this is a child okay yeah this is literally a child so take away the film and it's a small a young emma watson not only thrown into this bizarre life where she like can't go to school anymore her friends don't understand her she's making more money than her parents and she's not even like 15 years old like she's an absolute infant and her whole introduction to the world is people cutting down a clip of her and harry

slamming into the whomping willow and repeating it so that it sounds like she's moaning and they're having sex do you remember that oh god no i don't remember that at all that's horrific so you know the bit where i hate to make it ridiculous you know the bit where harry goes into the bumping willow yeah ron is being dragged they're kind of swinging around yeah yeah and it's it focuses on her shoe for a second it like stops on the yeah i thought that was so cool that they did that when she lands she lands on harry and they both kind of make a bit of a grunting noise. Oh God, this is horrific. They're children.

Yeah, that's bleak. Literally children. And that was all over the internet with like, as if to say like, it's a sexual thing. They're having sex. Obviously now, like the culture is, there's a blurred line with this anyway. Well, it's just a bizarre, nuanced, complex situation anyway with the new Harry Potter world and TikTok and shit like that. But the sexualisation of Harry and Ron as characters, for example,

in no way obviously compares to the sexualisation of Hermione Granger or a young Emma Watson. Yeah, well, they didn't have to have a moment where they walked down the stairs looking hot. She did. She had to have her boobs slightly out in that moment yeah and just so it just no matter what your existence is whether you are literally a child or a full-on human individual with your own life struggling with real issues ultimately all of those things we pushed aside

your talents your struggles the reality of your life is irrelevant to how beautiful you are that ultimately is going to come up as the most important thing absolutely always because i think it's just viewed as the the first and foremost thing that a woman can be the pinnacle of the most successful woman can be in society standards is walking down the aisle on her wedding day looking beautiful and everyone's like tearing up yeah that's the pinnacle of a woman's dream if disney movies steered us right in a pure white dress as a virgin as a virginal woman being given away as property and it's no mistake it's not a coincidence that you grew up watching villains that all have a hooked nose yeah exactly or dark skin yeah all of the pretty princesses were white and they all have these

tiny little waists it's not a mistake that you feel the way that you do about your body now about the way that you look now because as you said it's been sold to you from day one from before you were born this structure was in the works her name is literally snow white because of her white skin and look at that witch yeah yeah fucked up okay well so how do we get past that how do we get what kind of paedophilic and white supremacist culture yeah and and i guess it's kind of the fact that you can't escape that you're constantly being shown a certain way to look a uniform human that you should that is unattainable to you in lots of different ways but yet you should

strive to achieve so how do we get away from that are we just going to say follow people on instagram that look like you is that where we're going same old advice um well i think it's a that's a great start if you want to engage with sort of internet culture but it has to go deeper yeah it just has has has to be so much more than that it needs to be an active rejection you know what i like have you seen you probably have that tiktok trend where it's like their ancestors and they're like i used to hate my nose yeah yeah i love so basically it's this tiktok trend it's really old but it's kind of and it's obviously been recreated in lots of different ways but i saw one girl that she was like i used to hate my nose

because it like i don to hate my nose because it like i don't know wasn't like a eurocentric feature on her face and then she learned to love it because she shows all of these pictures of her ancestors like her great great great grandmother etc and all of their bumpy noses or wide noses or whatever and i think we were talking just yesterday about the importance of like knowing where you came from because it's so true it's like how can you hate that how can you hate these ears when they came to you from two people that they would love you people that loved you it's almost like this skin isn't yours to hate if i hate myself what i'm saying i'm looking my grandmother in the eyes and i'm saying i fucking hate you missy and that

cannot happen i can't i'm not gonna do that so i guess i'll learn to accept it's an insult yeah it's an absolute insult i think there's something really stunning about that about seeing the we were we were saying yesterday it's like my so my grandma really keeps like uh she really tracks that family tree i'm so jealous that will be me but it is also kind of quite fascinating to go back and kind of see your great great great grandma at age 23 and it's like that's me yeah that's me in a wedding dress what the fuck yeah like that's me right there like in a sort of victorian outfit huh like it's just it's so bizarre and it takes away the power of the instagrammable face of 2020 it takes it strips that of all of its power because it's not real yeah what's real is that if you had a kid and they had a kid and they had a kid and they had a kid and they said oh i hate my eyes and you look at

them and see your own eyes it's like hang on a tick but don't be rude about my fucking eyes no no no i think that's so bizarre when you see that though kind of the amalgamation of all exactly but it's like you are the manifestation of a bizarre coincidence that allows you, your unique self to be here. What are the chances? And you're going to waste all of these years, what, hating your boobs and hoping that a boy will accept you because you've got abs and a bum. That's a waste of time. It's a waste of time. Because also, before you know it, you'll be looking back in the same way that my mum did just yesterday and said oh fuck i was actually like hot when i was 25 and everyone told me and i didn't believe them

if only i'd known and if only i'd known i would have been different why didn't anyone tell me also you can take it like even bigger scale than kind of tracing back your ancestors and blah blah blah going back back back you can take it to like a global level universal level of like you evolved from bacteria little sea creatures we were like what i thought i came here by a delivery of a stork i thought it was adam and eve i was like i thought i was the birth of jesus christ uh you've actually got a bit wrong there but sorry to all the scientists but evolution's a thing yeah and you can you can go you can track it back and actually we've evolved into quite if you look at sort of okay so think

of the most stunning human in the whole world kendall jenner should we say as a placeholder we're going by instagram standards of who's the most beautiful woman we can go for kendall jenner like the kind of um racist golden ratio the white girl um epitome of beauty i think they said that the most beautiful man was robert patterson and the most beautiful woman was bella hadid last year or something like that okay if you take them robert patterson and bella hadid if we're gonna go for them and an alien flies over the earth and she sees robert patterson and bella hadid in some restaurant they're eating dinner together so oh gosh stunning situation oh la la that's quite exciting i think an alien would think these things are fucking ugly why are they we've got

four weird limbs and they all they've got hands and they split off into five other little things they've got two little beady fucking eyes and they open this hole in their face and i can see the i can see tissue it's disgusting there's a weird muscle that comes out of it. They've got teeth. And there's noise coming out of it. That's disgusting. And it's all wet. And then they've got things that grow out of their head. It's called hair and they do weird styles with it.

They dye it, they plait it and they do weird shit with it. Robert Pattinson and Bella Hadid are looking fucking ugly to that alien. Well, that's the thing. You don't necessarily get accolades for looking good. And if you do, you can't take them to the grave with you nothing happens i guarantee you both robert patterson and bella hadid will wake up tomorrow and they might feel shit about the way they look maybe more often than you do okay

i wanted to talk about something that we've kind of spoken about before but if we're saying that so much of beauty standards are rooted in lots of different concepts one of which being paedophilia can we talk about how one of the top categories on porn hub is teen we can talk about it can we talk about stepdaughter porn question mark oh i'm shivering it's disgusting already yeah and not because of the frosted tips this is disgusting for a whole other reason i mean we've said a bit about this before in in our porn episode which we do reference a lot because we've clearly got porn on the mind in that it is so badly made i'm never not thinking of porn and not for the reasons you think there's always two percent of my brain that's thinking of porn well just in the sense that as i always say okay so

if you're going on porn hub and you're looking for teen, okay, well, you... So what, you mean 18 and 19? Question mark. If you want someone who looks young and, what, you're a 50-something-year-old man... Yeah. This is the only thing that is stopping you. The only thing that's stopping you is the legality

of searching for child porn. Teen is child porn. The availability of teen porn on Pornhub. Oh, my God, it's so disgusting because it's literally, you don't mean 18, you don't mean 19, you mean 15, 16 is what you mean. And these people are walking among us. They walk among us. They are among us. It's kind of the beginning of The Incredibles.

This is not a niche part of the world. This is one of the biggest categories on the biggest porn website that we have today and also it doesn't just end at logging off pornhub that then bleeds through into the marketing you see for swimwear then the marketing you see for clothing and then the makeup you see for mascara then the marketing you see just for going on holiday like you just see it in every single bit of marketing you see has been influenced by the culture of pedophilia and the fact it is pretty normal to be clicking yeah teen porn i'll watch that today wank wank wank oh i'll just go about and kiss my wife don't make me sick wank wank wank i'll kiss my wife i'm gonna murder you i'm going to murder you but it's true how

about murder porn that's what i want to see it's so true wank, wank. And then I'll go kiss my teenage daughter. Yeah. And say, you're not going on a date. Exactly. And then I'll go downstairs and I'll eat dinner with my teenage daughters. Yeah. And I'll be monitoring what they're wearing. What?

Because my dick's going to get hard. Because I know that the other men, grown men walking around. Are going to sexualize her. Are going to be attracted to my daughters in the way that I sexualize every other daughter exactly that yeah exactly fucking that it's so true isn't that bleak insidious and it's worrying and i actually think all of the categories on porn are worrying should i get someone up oh let's do it right now yeah i'm so up for it just type in p-o-r-n.com so how do we find this maybe should i do a private window yeah okay google okay google okay alexa play me porn porn you know what we actually haven't spoken about and this is god

that makes me feel sick okay let me just get off that for a sec oh that's okay here we go that's a bumhole okay what we haven't spoken about is that porn hub removed loads of their unverified videos did we speak about that we haven't spoken about it that Pornhub removed loads of their unverified videos did we speak about that we haven't spoken about it on the Instagram or anything which is obviously a good move but it's like okay they so they removed millions of their videos because they're unverified so that's lots of different circumstances where god I actually can't stop looking let me just kind of put you over there um let me just cover that up lots of different instances where people would have been in potentially dangerous situations or just situations where consent was not an issue and all of those different things have been removed from the site however the categories that still

exist are see this fucks me up porn categories japanese don't piss me off that's the first one you're joking you're You're fucking about. Mature. Ebony. Can we talk about this? No, this is bad. The sexualisation of black women. Wow.

This is a bit fucked up. I can see it reflected in your glasses, which is quite funny. Rough sex. And there's a woman, just the little thumbnail is a woman, literally, she's about to die because she can't breathe because there's a penis shoved into her mouth and she's looking up at him as if to say please don't kill me so let's just look at that rough sex like do i laugh or cry perfect ass 18 year old gets balls deep anal and and throat fuck in a leather dress by her neighbor the

specificity of that's funny that was just the first one like oh god desperate wife takes piss in pussy and ass like a dirty slut with perfect cum shot this is making me feel sick this is making me feel fucking sick can i get off this now yeah asian teen no forgiveness vietnamese girl that's the title asian teen no forgiveness no forgiveness vietnamese girl and this just i just came to this by just literally typing in porn so you can imagine what if i'm seeing it who else is seeing this this is what the men in your life are watching and the small children and don't tell me this doesn't impact everything exactly exactly okay let me get let me free myself from the horrors well it's like when the fetishization of kind of an asian woman exists so explicitly in that place then of course you see

it in every other movie that's ever been made because it's just so normal it's just going in somewhere and you're kind of wanking to asian woman no forgiveness no forgiveness. No forgiveness. Asian teen, I think. Like perfect arse 18 year old. So don't tell me you're not walking down the street fetishising any old fucking woman. Exactly. Exactly. And what? So when did she turn 18?

So what? Six months ago she was 17. What? And you think you wouldn't have been saying it about her then? She looks no different. You wouldn't have been whacking over her then, no? She looks no different. Also, it says 18 for legal reasons. Don't tell me that that's not a 15 year old exactly you

know nothing about this she could be 30 she could be 15 you literally have no idea you're just wanking okay well that's pissed me off porn porn actually does really piss me off same because it's it's so normalized when i'm when i'm reminded of the reality like that because i think you can live with this really glamorized idea of like sex positivity and it's empowering only fans like great but it's like actually there are so many realities happening right now right now where a pedophile is currently wanking over that video that i just said about 18 year old ass but he doesn't identify as a pedophile this is the scary thing that he doesn't identify no and the world won't identify them as a pedophile either he identifies as a normal man he he operates in the world as a normal

man who is married to a quote-unquote normal woman but he also goes about wanking to that sexualizing the children that he teaches at school and sexualizing his own daughters and all his daughter's friends and just being a little bit creepy maybe we should give some examples and maybe that we haven't so what we mean by beauty standards are rooted in paedophilia let's go through a quick list yeah things like being hairless from the eyelashes down shaving be completely hairless smooth as a baby's bum might be told to you be a prepubescent child prepubescent be small take up less space be petite like a child also be blonde yeah i think the idea of like blondness like fairness is definitely rooted in like a youth a childhood kind of virginal and white supremacy what goes

without saying white supremacy also in a way that maybe you would only experience if you were so like the microaggressions of for example being a young asian woman and expecting to both be the smartest in the class and also have the tightest vagina yeah disgusting for some red hair for example you have to be a real sexualized kind of vixen bombshell and that's the only way that you can function otherwise we're going to exclude you from every conversation and you're kind of laughed at otherwise you're freckly from dyra wimpy kid niche reference but if you get it hey yeah yeah yeah you need to be a virgin but also suck a dick well yeah and then also then when you get pregnant you can't look like you've

had a baby you can't look like you literally grew a human inside you and pushed it out of you you just can't you've got to bounce back oh wow she really bounced back from that really well what do you mean fucking bounce back my whole body changed what do you fucking do you can't and then even with trans women then it's like wow she looks more womanly than you people literally can't see how transphobic they actually are like they'll think that they're literally this is also the problem with sexualizing someone yeah as you think you're complimenting them there's a difference with someone being sexual and choosing to be sexual within themselves and you pushing sexuality onto them and sexualizing and exploiting an individual and fetishizing them

oh fumed oh porn honestly rubs me the wrong way pardon the pun. Gives me the shivers. Yeah because it's all of it's the evidence it's the cold hard evidence of everything that I despise. Yeah there is and there are people wanking to it. Exactly then people are wanking over something that is so abhorrent. And it's not the it's not this minority small amount of people that like kind of like a fringe amount of people that like this type of porn it's not a subculture it's the yeah it's the mainstream it rules the world it's the mainstream thing that our ideas of sex and therefore feminine beauty appealing to the male gaze which is porn is the male gaze at work and sex sells okay another message that i thought was heartbreaking this person said i was constantly complimented for how i looked when i was anorexic is the male gaze at work and sex sells okay another message that i thought was heartbreaking

this person said i was constantly complimented for how i looked when i was anorexic and my body was failing i just thought was obviously heartbreaking in so many different ways um and so many of you actually were talking about eating disorders and obviously there's no one way that a body will look like when the person is suffering from an eating disorder but how much of that is the epitome of everything that we've been speaking about of your body is literally shutting down and everyone's complimenting you saying you look great and everyone is saying it looks great left right and center disgusting i think it epitomizes everything what a bizarre message to be told so like neurologically

you know that you're on death's door and yet society and not just society but your mum your friends your boyfriend your sister think you look great it's saying you've never looked better what a bizarre message to be told kill yourself because we want you to look this way die for the cause of beauty literally you are you fit in best when you're dying this is why i get so fucked off when people for example there's definitely a narrative on kind of women hating twitter the internet of like oh stop glamorizing obesity with like lizzo is it named tess holiday yeah literally just people living existing never claimed to be the spokesperson for a certain body. They're literally living their lives and they're commodifying their bodies in the same way that every other woman has ever

commodified her body, which is any woman you ever see in a photo, in a bikini, in an advert, anything. And there's an element of like, you're promoting unhealthy lifestyles. This is so bad. It's like, what do you think Vogue is? What do you think an advert is? What do you think Instagram is? What do you think is happening on your phone right now? what do you think vogue is what do you think an advert is what do you think instagram is what do you think is happening on your phone right now what do you think porn is what do you think you are you're telling women they're better when they're dying because they haven't actually fueled their body with anything you're telling them that's a goal that's aspirational fuck you you can't yeah that's kind of how i end everything that you can't it's like say something better fuck you you can't so true though but it's exhausting because also a lot of the people

prescribing to that narrative most of the people prescribing to that narrative of just being fat phobic and saying that literally just being obese is promoting an unhealthy lifestyle or and quote unquote obese that everyone was told they were obese in year four and that's what we got loads of messages saying that about it's actually really heartbreaking people first of all talking about their we fit which is obviously insane insane that we all had those and i saw specifically someone said i can't remember how old they said they were i'm sorry i'm gonna butcher your message but they said that they were weighed i think in year four in the class and they were basically told that they needed to be skinnier and so they've had body image issues ever since those insecurities live

in those people that are being fat phobic like those insecurities live in all of us and some of us just prescribe to the different narratives in different ways so the people that are upholding the beauty standards is really all of us we can't speak on society without acknowledging our own place in it yeah of course it lives within us in the way that you not only uphold it by literally consuming it and paying into it but also promoting it just by your existence just by living in in a public world living online i think it would be really kind of foolish to deny the impact that's had on you in the way that we said at the beginning it's like do you look around the room and and have fat phobia towards people of course i do i fight it but of course we all do because we literally have been told it from birth thinner is better thinner is better fat is associated with laziness and all this stuff of

course we all have it but that's fucked that's the symptom of a fucked up fucking culture but it's nothing to blame in ourselves it's something to fight against and undo but i think there's something about pointing fingers at oh they're fat phobic it's like yeah take a look in the mirror so are you well how could we not internalize all of these messages exactly in terms of you know they said about um they had to weigh themselves at school did your school ever do things like that where you all had to like weigh yourselves publicly? I don't know because I almost think if they did, I probably wouldn't remember because it wouldn't have been a triggering thing for me.

So I don't know. I like I want to say no, that never happened. I know that it's not a rare experience. Loads of people around our age from the UK have had that experience. So yeah, it's fucked up it is fucked isn't it what about you did you have that i never had it but i know someone that did have it and they had to they all had to weigh themselves and i remember just thinking god this is like like what lesson is this for or even like what subject is this yeah they all had to weigh

themselves and then plot on a graph maybe Maybe it's maths, I'm thinking. Their weights. Like, who's the heaviest? Who's the lightest? Ah, okay, okay. Maybe I did have that. Maybe height they would have done. But neither of those things would have been triggering for me

because I fit into exactly what they would have said. So I don't remember. But the foolishness of them to assume that children wouldn't remember that when actually the majority of them don't fit into or even if you do fit it like i i mean i've spoken on this thing of like that i do have sort of weird like body image shit i very much fit into the standard like as much it's like i very much have to acknowledge it's like i literally fit the standard yeah also so many so i was laughing actually at the ridiculousness of so many people i saw replying to our we did uh on the

stories we said do you fit into beauty standards or not yes or no and everyone's like no no no no and i literally went through and looked on people's pages and i was this close putting my fingers very close together to messaging people and being like you must be joking you must be joking i mean even just the fact that you look white come come again you're joking come off it yeah there you go which is also again it's just confirmation bias some people might not think they do when they're sitting in their kind of white circle of friends who are all kind of size sixes and you're a size say 14 and you're like i don't fit the standard and it's like you don't fit the standard within your very very niche pool on on a micro level but on a big macro level and in the big big wide world you very much do fit the standard yeah you're being

afforded a lot of privilege that for example a black woman who was a size 14 wouldn't be afforded or if you were disabled and a size 14 you wouldn't be afforded that we're all very tempted to say we don't fit the standard because we very much all see our quote-unquote flaws well you want to be my mum and say i'm not vain i wasn't being vain except babe i'm not worried about you not being vain on the stories i want you to be vain i want you to turn up to our dms and say i look incredible today if you believe it though that's the thing it's like don't come in and say yeah i look great as some weird defense thing because it's just not gonna get you anywhere but also it would get you further than saying you think you look ugly so do you think right so i guess the public defense mechanism thing is just it's a bit

jarring because everyone can see through it but i do think there is something in the affirmations of like telling yourself absolutely right i mean know, you fucking know we love affirmations. Like we live and breathe that shit. Of undoing years of being told that you're not good enough, rewiring yourself to believe that you are. It's like, it's actually quite radical and it's actually quite...

Revolutionary. Important. Yeah, it's not an easy thing to do and it's not something you hear very often. So yeah, I agree. I think that is really powerful. Know that you look good, but also looking good means nothing.

And it's the last thing that you should be thinking about is how you look. Low, low, low down on the list. There are so many more important things. How you look is the least interesting thing about you. Yeah. How are you feeling? What are you interested in?

Have you just watched a good show? Are you in the middle of doing something creative? Okay we be doing the work then oh yeah let's do the work what work are you feeling to do should we do an affirmation thing then this week yeah let's do an affirmation yeah yeah that's stunning come up with an affirmation today about so just a little something that you're gonna tell yourself so it could be i don't hate my wide nose it was given to me by my great grandmother and i'm grateful for that it's so stunning pick something be specific i think something that just comes naturally to you but you can be quite specific and say it to yourself every day until the next

episode comes out right yeah or forever and then we'll give you something new to do i think also every single person will be thinking so for example you said wide nose every single person can think a bit on of a part on their body that they have always kind of villainized and put as the root of all their problems so pick that thing and just reverse it and say it's stunning try it out sounds simple try it out yeah we'll just say it doesn't fucking matter it literally doesn't fucking matter my nose lets me breathe what would the aliens think if you had a nose job the aliens would still come down and think it looked fucking weird and it is the classic kind of you could have a nose job but yeah and you might feel loads better but no one notices more than you do no one cares

no one's sitting sat around waiting for you to start looking better they actually don't give a shit because they're too worried about all the things that they've been told that's wrong with them and their nose and the way that they look they're worried about their low cheekbones like they're like exactly who knew where this would go? This has gone in weird directions. We went on a porn website, huh? Oh, God, yeah. God, yeah, and I did get themed at that.

Bye-bye, guys. Bye. Bye.