Goes Without Saying - quarantine dating: cam 4 cam?

Episode Date: April 13, 2020

to stop us from arguing in this episode we've enrolled you guys as mediators: we're answering your questions! in this fun q&a episode of Goes Without saying, we (sephy & wing) discuss dating and romance during coronavirus, loneliness, and more! we talk about weird crushes, awkward dates and final destination. as expected, it gets weird. enjoy! speak your mind on our instagram! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello and welcome back to Higher Priestess. I am Persephone. And I am Erin. Such a drama. Was I going really posh? It's because I forgot what to say. I was like, uh, what comes next? This episode is a Q&A because we keep arguing. So we thought we needed to bring in some mediators in the form of you guys.

Well, we've discussed it. Well, we've got the theory is that since we're not face to face and like in the studio recording i can see your body language i can hear your voice it's kind of you're coming at me through a screen a bit murky i'm like where are your arms like just in the usual place everything's a bit delayed like we're fighting a bit of a delay so i think almost know, it just gets lost in translation. But I think it makes for a great episode. Well, I don't like it.

I don't like the arguing. I come away a bit like, what just happened? I don't like it for us, but I love it for the business. Yeah, it's fine. I hope you guys are liking it. It's just destroying a friendship. It's fine. But yeah, we're doing a Q&A.

We were going to do like the parents and divorce episode that everyone is asking for but it's like i actually can't do it right now guys maybe next episode we're just going to do a fun q a you guys have asked so many questions and i mean i can't wait to dive in yeah i'm really excited for this one okay shall we just go straight in well i kind of want to find out how you've been i haven't spoken to you since yesterday i know it's been a whole 24 hours um yeah all good i did have a thought one singular thought the other day and i thought i honestly yeah it's my one thought my honorable mention honestly coronavirus honorable mentions

just for the beginning of the app um of the quarantine diaries the other day jack and i braved it to the supermarket to get some essentials well i hate it i haven't been yet have you not i'm terrified no i'm not going i hate it in there i honestly would say yeah i would say don't go it's really um it is bleak and it's kind of also a bit like i'd rather not see this yeah i don't want to see the people queuing two by two honestly bizarre bizarre um it's super bizarre but i realized when we were walking around the supermarket i kept saying to jack like if you guys don't know jack is my boyfriend and i kept saying to him like stop fucking touching everything, we walk in and he walks straight up to this woman, like,

where are the bags? Or whatever. I'm like, get away from this lady. He's got no idea. I was like, Jack, Jack,

Jack, like, stop, like, back away. It's kind of me to my dog. Otto, come on,

no, no, leave the nice lady. Honestly. And he was really confused. And the woman was like, kind of backing away from him. And I was like,

sorry, sorry. I was like, not for you. Like, not because you're going to give it to him, because he's going to give it. Like, I just want everyone, like, stay away from us and i was like sorry sorry i was like not for you like not because you're gonna give it to him because he's gonna give it like i just want everyone like stay away from us not that you know whatever yeah you're the contagious one i had a thought yeah exactly that's how i'm treating it is i'm contagious and i'm trying to protect you guys yeah exactly but

i had a thought when we were walking down the aisles looking for like kind of um linda mccartney sausages there are no lindas to be seen yeah to get my hands on my family i know they're coming back empty-handed every time yeah exactly well i've got one box and i'm saving them for a rainy day of which i'm having many um but i realized or kind of thought to myself that i was really good navigating the supermarket like doing this kind of one-way system like keeping a good distance away from everybody not touching things and putting them back keeping to myself and jack was awful and i thought of course women are better at making themselves smaller oh yes oh my god yeah and obviously like there's more to it like it's also a question of me and

jack and who we are but for him it's so foreign yeah or even just having to like monitor how you appear in public it's like a woman is so aware of like their surroundings because they're literally watching like okay am i gonna get raped like it's kind of like i'm actually monitoring oh you wanted the linda mcconnell so just you you take them i don't even need them don't worry yeah or just like i'll be smaller i'll be yeah absolutely fine like you were walking there i'll just dodge out the way rather than oh no it's just my space like i own the space yeah and he really walks up to this woman hey can you help me blah blah and i was like jack back the fuck off of this fucking woman like yeah that is so interesting isn't it such a thing of like men really dominate the space i wonder if other people have like experienced that that they're like the men in their lives have struggled with

um like not getting exactly what they want at all times yeah like just not being brash like not dominating the space yeah so i mean he's a cunt. That guy is a cunt through and through. I've met him and I don't like him one bit. Always knew it. Bad vibes. Honestly, red flags all over the place. But he kept saying like, fuck, I keep forgetting. I keep like, oh shit, like I don't even think about it. It's like, of course you don't think about it.

Yeah, because you've never had to do this before. And to be honest, like obviously it's not natural for us, but I think it's easier for a woman to slip into being feeble and keeping to herself totally oh my god i absolutely love it let's do a poll on the story so that was my little that's my honorable mention when this podcast comes out guys head over to the story there's definitely polls yeah oh there'll be polls galore so what about you how have you been how have i been how have i been i have been how do i interact with people? I've never spoken to a person.

Well, I saw some of my family friends walking down the street today. Oh, nice. From a distance? From a distance. We didn't cross the road, but it was more like, how are you finding isolation? They were like, loving it. I'm like, me too, just to be honest. It's a great time.

Yeah. I'm not hating it. I've been baking, which you've seen my flop. Oh, yeah. Well, I thought they still might taste good. No, they are the worst thing I've ever, ever eaten. Or kind of something that vaguely resembles cookies. They were horrific.

They were wafer thin and tasted kind of... Burnt. Just like baking soda. Oh. Just baking soda through and through. They weren't good, basically. It hasn't been good. And I have a new crush, which you're going to hate me for. Oh, no. It's big news. We have

briefly discussed this. Not Lin. Lin Manuel Miranda. No. Lin Manuel Miranda. I mean, to call him a crush is quite extreme. I'm not. It's not extreme to me anymore it felt extreme okay when I was I was dabbling when I was watching His Dark Materials if anyone's watched

His Dark Materials I was dabbling in that crush I was like okay now it's cemented and firm he's in Mary Poppins I don't even want to watch that

no I was going to say but I'm not going to say watch it because dot dot dot I don't think we should indulge this any further. I definitely know who he plays. He's 100% the one that's like, all right, Mary Poppins.

Yeah, I think, I know I'm getting confused. I was going to say, I think he's the American one, but that was what you told me yesterday. Literally yesterday, by the way, things have spiralled. Yesterday you said, I quite like him. He's funny. We could sing and dance together today it's i've got a crush it's escalated quite severely since i since we last spoke quite dramatically he's fully my new crush if you know me in life or i suppose you do know me in life if you listen to this yeah you guys are um

i do get in quite severe crushes um and I now I'm going to put Lynn in that category. Wow. He's nowhere near my Jon Snow, Fred and George. I'd be shocked if he was. He's nowhere near that, the hound. He's nowhere near those. But he's creeping. Are you listening to Hamilton or no?

Yeah, that's the problem. Oh God. And that's making it more extreme because i can't see him all i can hear is there's nothing like summer in the city no that's not even him oh that's his voice i like is that aaron burr that's aaron burr sir i like aaron burr because there's one bit where he goes there's a trust fund baby baby, you can trust me. Or whatever, I quite like that bit. He's got all the good bits.

Yeah, that's who I'm liking. Because Lin-Manuel is not the strongest singer. But there's something about, there was a bastard, orphan son of a whore. That's not him again. That's not him singing. What does he sing then? He sings, Alexander Hamilton. Alexander Hamilton. That's all him again. That's not him singing. What does he sing then? He sings Alexander Hamilton.

Alexander Hamilton. That's all he sings. Okay, yeah, that's not so hard. Okay, the crush is going to die. I don't know if you guys have seen John Krasinski, my crush from The Office. Worst crush. Joking.

Jim. Too normal. Such an icon. Yeah. Too traditionally good looking looking is doing this thing called some yeah he is in a really american way as well which is not the vibe in kind of a goofball way yeah kind of sims trait goofball yeah it's not my it's not gonna work for me he's doing this thing called some good news which is nice um you saw it, right? Yeah, I like it. Where he actually had Steve Carell on

and that was really nice. And they had a little bonding moment. See, that's more, he's hotter. Steve Carell, yeah, I'm in on that too. These days. Not an early Michael Scott, a late Michael Scott is cute. Early Michael Scott, I don't mean to be rude,

but he's got no hair on his head. That is bad. If you watch it back, it's like, oh my God, it's kind of a Donald Trump vibe. Wait, so what's he done? He's had no hair on his head that's bad if you watch it back it's like oh my god you it's kind of a donald trump what's he done he's had a hair transplant yeah oh i don't know if i can go for that then that's one step too far why are you getting lotion out i'm just moisturizing Oh, I brought up John Krasinski because he had Lin-Manuel Miranda on him and then they, all of the cast of Hamilton. You didn't see this? No, I didn't. I thought we spoke about this. No, you sent it to me and I watched a bit of it. Yeah, he had all of the original cast of Hamilton on to sing to this little girl who couldn't go to Hamilton, obviously, because she's in quarantine.

Oh, I'm loving it. And everything's down so see Lynn is hot that's quite hot of it yeah it's sweet but yeah but it was so hot of John Krasinski to organize it honestly if you watch it it's not it's not it's bad because you guys have to watch it because it he makes such a drama out of it it's like babe you're not on stage it because he makes such a drama out of it. It's like, babe, you're not on stage. It's like you're literally sat in front of your little laptop. Should we get into the questions? Yeah, because we're just talking about Lin-Manuel Miranda now.

Yeah. Can we start with my fave one? Okay, so the amazing question was, and I think the winner because we are giving away validating to the best question. And in my mind, this is the best question or the one that i was like oh that's good because i read it wrong at first and it was still good and then when i read it right i was like shit it's even better yeah it's an amazing question we're absolutely hooked on this question so this one's getting the prize but they're all they are all stunning hooked on it they're all

really good yeah really amazing the prize really amped things up yeah you guys worked for this you guys really worked you put in the hours so the question that we loved so much was do people change over time or are they just let me actually just read it because i'm butchering it are you trying to do that okay so do people change or just become more aware of who they actually are so let's just let that sink in for a sec take that in do people change or do they become more of who they actually are and i think we've discussed this before okay because well i always have this thing of like okay so as i evolve throughout my life am i getting closer to my like final form of like evolution or do you are you born as like your most perfect form as truly you with your own soul if you

believe in souls and then as you go up society corrupts you that's my those are my thoughts but do you feel that you are kind of progressing towards your perfect thing or you were born perfect and then you are kind of regressing eroding decaying um i think either neither or a mix of both i think i think you're born and then you can either grow or shrink yeah like you can either learn or fuck up i've just seen quite a lot of shrinking in my life. Big time. I've seen some shrinkers. So I'm kind of thinking,

okay, when you were a baby, you had all this potential. You were born as just like a blank slate of like possibility. Yeah, but you're also a dumbo when you're born. Oh, you're thick as shit. Like you can't survive. No, but you have so much potential within you. Yeah. And society then fucks you up

and it breeds all this like shit within you and puts pressure on you and all this stuff. And I kind of have seen people that have so much promise just like essentially erode into bullshit. Can you give us an example? No. Because it's too personal. Too much.

Imagine I say your name. Oh yeah, I'm talking about you. Imagine I say your name after that. I've seen you erode into bullshit but it's essentially in essence oh it's difficult so what do you think then do you think you change or you think you become closer to who you actually are I think you change I don't know if there's a destination at the end of life that's what I don't like I don't think there's this final form of like perfection that throughout your life you're trying to get to this thing I don't think there's this final form of like perfection that throughout your life, you're trying to get to this thing.

I don't think there's a destination at all. I think whatever decisions and choices that you make as you lead you in certain ways, I don't think you're any closer. Like what says that that version is more true than the version I am now or the version I was when I was three or newborn. Like, I don't think there's a final-

Destination. Final form. Yeah. Final destination five. I love final destination three, by the way. Which one's that? I just hate the bit with the sunbeds. The roller coaster.

Yeah, that's Final Destination three. Yeah, that bit's gross. That film is just like absolutely, I think one of the most influential films on my life. Oh God, that's quite horrifying. Yeah, I know. But I agree. I agree because, I mean, for many reasons,

I will never go on a sunbed. So formative. Yeah, never in my life. Also, I just think of it all the time. You know, there's that song that plays when it's like, there is someone walking behind you. You know that song? Honestly, no, and I'm glad I don't.

I'm glad, I'm honestly grateful that I got up to this point into my life until that was introduced to me. What is that? Well, I think about it I'm glad. I'm honestly grateful that I got up to this point into my life until that was introduced to me. What is that? Well, I think about it all the time. What is that? Basically, before anyone dies in that film, and it kind of runs out the whole Final Destination thing, there's this song that comes on the radio or she's on the tube one time and someone gets on playing it on the guitar.

And it's like there is someone walking behind you. It's horrific. And it's death. Honestly. Yeah, it's fucking horrible. And it's like there is someone walking behind you. It's horrific. And it's death. Honestly. Yeah, it's fucking horrible. And there's one bit where she's driving. There's this car following her for ages. I've honestly got shivers in my scalp.

Same. Honestly, I've been scalped. Shivers in my scalp. There's someone walking behind you. Don't say that. Why is it every episode I have to look around behind me? I just checked under my bed as well yeah that's awful yeah but anyway that's just a daily spook well yeah okay so i think the question do you change or do you become closer to who you are is kind of um do you believe in like

a fate or not essentially yes have you ever heard of a dharma your dharma path probably i'm just thinking of people listening to us and we're going there's someone walking behind you and then saying have you heard of your dharma path it's like the people who created dharma path are like for fuck's sake guys this is a nuanced podcast it's like guys okay you are gonna hear about scooby-too monsters unleashed on this podcast and you're also gonna hear about your dharma path so that's just how it works that's just how these brains work yeah so um dharma path so there's karma which is the decisions you make which come back to you and you know there's like the yeah the give and take of

the universe blah blah blah we know we know karma karma. Dharma path, I think, if my calculations are correct. Which they typically are. They're known to be correct. Typically known to be correct. As you're born, everything is predestined, I think, from this. And there is a specific path that is laid out before you. And I think maybe you can make decisions that stray from the path, but it's getting to that destination that is already predestined

and that your path is already sort of written for you to follow and you're now making decisions that will align to that path okay so that's kind of the idea of fate for me oh so you believe that no i don't but i strongly strongly believe in karma strongly oh but that's the way that you understand it that's that's the way that i understand fate is that there are already predestined um events or decisions that you will make that will happen in like it's fate that we met that person because we would have met them in any lifetime i don't believe that but that is what fate is right yeah so so you think we're all born blank blank slate tabula rasa i know yeah tabula rasa love it yeah bringing it back do you believe that we're born in blank slate? I don't know.

I don't think we are. No, because I kind of think that like everyone has like kind of sparkly, spiritual monkeys in them. And then we all like kind of come together and like unite with love and flowers and stuff. I don't believe that. I think we're all born with fucking bullshit inside us. We've got ancestral trauma in us. Yeah, well, that's what, yeah, I think we're born with like but i want to be a sparkly sea monkey that's quite fun i think we're kind of maybe born with like you can tell i've

never thought of this before maybe we're born with a load of slime and some of it is like a satisfying sparkly slime that's on um instagram yeah shane dawson's new new range and the other is like gunk the ones they drop on nickelodeon teen choice award slime grossness goo yeah you've been slimed we've really taken her question to the next level as in in a bad way and you can thank us later yeah it's like we really took your question and ran with it and put it in the fucking bin like because also when what i first thought when i read that question was like if someone has cheated can they change like if you're with someone oh wow yeah i'm thinking of like can people change for the better or are they just becoming who they are do you get what i mean that was how i didn't think

of it as like fate oh wow yeah absolutely i love that i thought of it as like can bad people be good or whatever in quote marks i love that but i was thinking of it as in when you're born are you more true yeah or when you die are you more true like which one is your true self well yeah and we've spoken about this before as well because it's also like it's so that thing of like you don't actually like wizards of waverly place you just like to watch it because you haven't been happy since you were 11 years old and it reminds you of a time when things weren't a shit like you can't be loyal to like your eight-year-old self she's dead like it's over yeah she died long ago and like the more you um keep kind of putting off your present self in a bid to like protect and preserve your like

old self which you are confusing with your truest self you're never going to be happy. I always think that's really interesting when people say oh I made my eight-year-old self proud or like I could never do that because my eight-year-old self would just be so disappointed and it's like sorry that girl is dead in a ditch bitch like they don't exist. And also in a ditch, bitch. Like they don't exist. And also, what's your loyalty to her? They don't exist. I think there's a nice to have a slither of that. I think so. But every single cell in your body

that that eight-year-old girl had is dead. Is over. Yeah, it's gone. So you might as well be true to yourself, who you are now, and not make decisions that please someone that you aren't. A child? Yeah. You're making decisions for a child?

That child was dumb. You don't even even you've never met them it's so weird it's really strange it's like stop convincing yourself that that was your truest you just because you live in misery now i honestly think that's it it's so bad it's really bleak well it's that thing of like um oh so would your eight-year-old self be proud of you it's like my fucking eight-year-old self genuinely wanted to just live in Animal Crossing. Don't talk to me about Animal Crossing because I'm getting so upset

that I don't have a Switch in Animal Crossing. They relaunched Switch last... So Switch is sold out everywhere. They restocked last night and you would not believe Charles's panic. It was like... Oh, he's trying to get one. Yeah, because he wants to sell it later.

Like, buy it and then sell it up. Oh, God. If you guys didn't... It's not... The last episode. We've had comments. We've had genuine, a lot of messages about Charles. Everyone...

Charles has fans. I mean, Charles fan club right here. He's going to start some money making. He'll monetize that. He's an absolute con icon. I'm not letting him know that he has fans because he'll be like, well, I want 50% of profit from all of your podcasts.

That will be the beginning of the end. When he gets his hands on that money. Well can bad people turn good if you're an absolute arsehole can you turn into a little angel? Yeah good question. Well that was. Do you want to be a little angel? I don't respect little angels. Exactly yeah little angel. If you identify as a little angel just know we're not hanging out yeah but it could be in a cool way how it's kind of a thing a little angel yeah in kind of um churches no in kind of a cherub way no in kind of a um like a real aesthetic going on oh yeah but i doubt those people are little angels no but kind of it would be someone's instagram bio oh yeah no i doubt those people are little angels no but kind of it would be someone's instagram bio oh yeah no i'm into that but you're actually like a bad person yeah but you're actually like a bit crazy yeah i love it you're a maniac if little angels romanticize it yeah

yeah i love it you're appropriating it for your shitty life i love it exactly yeah but go on can you be a little angel this is how i originally took the question of like i originally took it as a guy who's a dick can he become good i love it what do you think what so as in like once a cheater always a cheater yeah little things like that what do you think i think like anyone can always um better themselves but it's and i think it's down to you to like determine or not determine whether there's actually truth in that for that person in particular. Yeah, I think I would have trouble if I went on a date with someone and they said to me, oh, yeah, I cheated on all my ex-girlfriends. Well, I think the issue there is we need to separate the past and the present.

So if someone comes to you on your first date and says, I've cheated on all my past girlfriends, that seems to be the thought very much in their present. Well, I'd be fascinated. Yeah, I'd be absolutely fascinated. I i would say tell me everything kind of if you're dating them not like a social experiment like but then i would want to know the reasoning why yeah but i don't think you'd be you wouldn't be romantically interested in them if they said oh well all my exes were psychos and they were all it was just all of them they're free they can die in a ditch but if they said they're the worst person ever, but if they said something, I don't know, let me think.

If they had a real reason where they could see exactly what led them to do that, I would be interested. Yeah, sure, I probably wouldn't date them. I would want to see some kind of self-awareness in there rather than,

oh, it was just my ex, it was just this, they're a fucking freak. But if they can acknowledge the reason and how they've changed, they can provide me with evidence. Exactly, yeah. Definitely. But that's what I mean. I think acknowledge the reason and how they've changed they can provide me with evidence exactly yeah definitely but that's what i mean i think separate the past and the present so if that is what's happened in that person's life and they've been in quotes a

bad person and now they depending on what we think of that etc etc and and and then what you think is a new you know revised good person but if you're turning up on a first date saying i've cheated all my exes they were all psychos then it's still very much your present and it's not in the past and there's been no growth or development there also i've cheated on all my ex-girlfriends like okay i think it's safe so you're a freak okay get out it's like why did you come here it's like who are you why are you here like that should not be your opening line i think there's like so much room for anyone to like move on and change 100 because people change in so many different ways for better or for worse depending on who you are and how you see them etc yeah but i think it's definitely possible i don't know how often

that is the case that a boy will say to a girl i can change i can change or i have changed i have changed i don't believe that i don't believe I don't believe I have changed it's like show me how you are changing and they very clearly haven't well if you're having to say out loud yeah if you're having to vocalize I have changed there must be some reason in there that both of us can quite plainly see you haven't changed because you're having to say it out to me because if you had changed we wouldn't have to have the conversation it also doesn't make sense as I say when did you do that work where did you draw the finish line yeah like when did you stop from changing to have changed like i think actually yeah you never change and

you're always in a state of changing growing yeah evolving you're never done there's never this point where it's like oh actually i've changed and i would never ever hurt a person again it's like sorry but you would yeah i'm sorry but you fucking would all of us i don't think anyone is exempt yeah well i think everyone is i think everyone is constantly um doing shitty things yeah and i think everyone is also constantly changing as you said like we are dynamic beings i think we can get stagnant and like get stuffy and comfortable and like plateau in our lives yeah but i think we're always changing because you're constantly reacting to the world around you and your surroundings which are constantly changing because a they're full of people who are also constantly changing and b the natural world

is a farce an actual scam like everything of course we're changing all the time but is that you coming closer to yourself no what do we think You don't believe in fate. I change my mind every day about fate. Yeah. If you listen to the love and dating episodes, you'll hear that I don't believe in soulmates. And I think soulmates are a symptom of fate, surely. A symptom? They kind of are just like a one part of it.

It's like if you believe in fate, then symptoms just fall into the fate pile. Yeah, but I also have like that spiritual sparkly stuff that i think same we're not just like scientific like kind of organisms just being within the world like i like to think and i do think that there's something a bit like sparkly and like strange about us would like watch me say watch me say that fate doesn't exist and that i don't believe in anything like that but then also last night was a full moon and i put all my crystals out yeah it's like uh what do you believe it's like who I also just don't believe in um having a fixed view of belief yeah because we're changing yeah it's like I don't

think that there is anything well I was a Christian when I was seven and now I've made up my mind done and dusted thanks for coming to my TED talk the end someone yeah someone told me when I was three that I was a god so I guess there is cool won't question that yeah or someone told me there is not a god i won't question that it's like okay well you believe that because someone that you trust believes that it's like i don't trust these people these fucking maniacs so so whose beliefs are they well i think that's like true for everything is your beliefs are they yours no i think a lot of people and as you said in the fashion episode like what a coincidence that my beliefs fit so perfectly into the beliefs that are prescribed within kind of at least the western world it's literally like um what a coincidence oh i believe in something called fate me too

yeah it's not because you believe it it's because we've all been taught it literally and it's a coincidence that i believe the exact same thing as my family and then oh wow all my friends that i've selectively picked all believe the same thing it's like no we're all friends because we all that's perfect we're all a perfect match what a coincidence meant to be and now we perpetuate we sustain this cycle of belief yeah our parents all told us there's no god we die in the ditch we die in the dirt and we'll go cool i'll accept that yeah i'll take that on then yeah that's what the smartest people i know believe so i guess i'll believe that but it's like oh no shit i could be smarter than them there we go plot twist it's like turns out you could be smarter than the smartest people you know so don't yeah don't listen to those people

they're maniacs yeah they just have their own fixed version of the world and so do you so go with yours go with the one that fits you if you want to be a scientologist don't do that but if you want to if you want to be a scientist you're wrong to be honest i hate to tell you but you are wrong but you know should we do the next question i think i hope we helped that we kind of went on a tangent about final destination about slime i think if you're asking us questions for a podcast you know what's coming yeah you know you really do know you knew what you were asking us questions for a podcast, you know what's coming. Yeah, you know, you really do know. You knew what you were asking for. It's going to turn into something about Lin-Manuel Miranda, but you know, that's what you're getting. So we got a load of questions that I really, really like about dating during the pandemic,

like online dating, all of this stuff, which I think is so fun. Yes. I think lots of you guys are... Curious as hell. Yeah, I'm probably taking part right now so one that i really liked said can we talk about the complexities of virtual dating during a pandemic i love it it's absolutely fascinating i think there's actually two elements that i want to talk about so as in first date when we're now what facetime dating that whole thing i think is

fascinating two imagine you've just been on one date with someone two dates and it's like you're kind of hanging on by a thread that is complicated that's just suddenly like oh okay the thing there that is interesting is if you don't make facetiming a thing within the first week you're essentially not never going to see them again it's over it's like you really need to get it in at the beginning make it a bit of a thing all right i'll speak to you like next thursday again or whatever yeah otherwise the last time you saw them was now forever to be known as the last time you ever saw them i was actually talking to someone about this on a day quite recently that hinge since the fucking lockdown was announced hinge is absolutely popping everyone is trying to message everyone but i'm not replying to anyone or like i'm not even going on it but i went on it to kind

of see and it's absolutely more matches than i've ever seen in my life and it's literally like or more likes that you have on hinge but it's like what going nuts so why are you not on it is that because you're at home and you're not in a dating space absolutely not in a dating space i'm literally just like okay i'm just gonna absolutely mind my business for a few months yeah why am i trying to date during honestly i'm i'm busy minding my business so what i'm gonna try and date someone during the most chaotic time ever it's really fascinating because it is also that thing of like okay well dating is a hobby so people will continue that yeah through a literal pandemic it'd be really difficult if you got your validation from dating i.e validating as outlined by the iconic book validating by high priestess

stunning it would be such a difficult period of your life where you just cannot get um um you cannot get validated through dating there is no dating yeah and hopefully that would make people actually confront the issues at hand within themselves, not the issues as in the virus, the issues as in your own personal issues. Yeah. And the implications of that, like within yourself, because I think you're literally trapped. Essentially, if you're following the rules, you're trapped inside, maybe on your own, which is, I think, depping in itself. Depressing.

It really is a time of like like it's just so introspective the thing that i find most fascinating is the way i really can't i always bring this up this is a book that i read during my degree about it must have been world war ii and it was this kid's diary i don't think it's the deluge i can't remember what book it's from it's like anne frank in world war ii this kid's diary kind of but it's this boy's diary yeah teenage boy and he is kind of he it's his diary so it's his first person account real like stream of consciousness type situation he's like young um there are some really like interesting moments for example he sees like a german plane overhead this is based in britain he like a german plane overhead this is

based in britain he sees a german plane overhead he's like oh my god like they're dropping bombs oh my god i've seen it i've seen it the boys are not gonna believe me when i tell them that they've seen it oh my god like this is so fucking cool and it's like kind of the town next to yours has just been bombed but you're like oh my god the boys are not gonna believe me so the boys are dead yeah and it's like there's another moment where he's like oh my god like we're going to like the bunker tonight i hope we're going to like the one by the church and not the one by the other field because then sarah will be there i wonder what one she's going to i really want to be in the same one as her tonight my heart just fluttered the excitement of seeing sarah like

i just couldn't believe right yes i don't know what her name is, but it's like how we really normalise these insane and bizarre and surreal... I love it. Like, global or, you know, whatever, issues. Yeah. And feel them in such an intimate, personal way. And it just becomes about these two kids who want to be, or maybe Sarah's not interested.

Literally a crush. Want to be in the same place, like, on Friday night. Yeah. At the... At the bunker. At the bunker, et cetera. Like like do you know what i mean it's just i think totally really it's really fascinating to watch the way that we deal and the and the differences in the way that we deal and the way that we don't deal yeah um and how dating fits into that is so bizarre i was talking to my sister about this exact thing the other day about how when all of our distractions are taken away, so we can't go to

the cinema, we can't go for meals, we can't even like meet up with our friends, we can't go to the pub, all of our distractions are gone. All that is left in life really is our relationships. The only thing really, the only thing we can do is talk to our family, talk to our friends, talk to our relationships. That's all we can do. That's the only thing that is actually connected. That's the only thing that's actually real when you can't do any of these fun things. So I think it's not really that surprising that people are there is literally a boom in dating right now. Yeah, people are so lonely. Can I tie in another question that we got that just came to my mind? They said, is loneliness self-induced and I think

that's interesting if we discuss these two questions in within the same kind of sphere you think it is I also don't think I'm the best person to be answering this because I just don't really experience loneliness all that much because I couldn't feel alone in myself I completely agree with you I as in um I get that for you. But also, I agree with you in my own sense. But I think we're rare. I think that loneliness is like the biggest God, I think it's one of the most universal feelings. I think it's really unusual that both of us don't experience it or don't experience it in a way that we pick up on it or notice it to be an issue in our lives. Well, we spoke about this a bit in our coronavirus episode,

the first one we did, the first of the diaries, which was, we were saying about how, God, people are so terrified that they can't go to work because they actually have to face their own, their selves, their self for pretty much one of the first times where you're not distracted by like academia, work and like capitalist institutions, that being on your

own without an ego without essentially your purpose which i don't think exists um is like a terrifying thing because you've got to face yourself and i think if you don't know yourself your true self not i'm a journalist i'm a waitress i'm a thing and you've got your identity even i'm a podcaster any of your identity when that's stripped away why are you so scared of yourself who are you what's left what's left is an egoless person and they're just like a literal animal why are you so scared of that animal well because we're told to not know who we are i know i completely see it like you're told to not yeah you're told because we're scared because we've never had that we've never had the space to have that introspection in a in peace and quiet yeah i completely agree it's always kind of well you're back to work on

monday so i hope you're feeling rested hope you're feeling well rested and you can go back in now yeah and you've had a whole weekend of like well i guess i better make a nice week off but make sure you keep up with your readings yeah it's not good is it so am i having a nice week off or what yeah yeah it's i'm not like we not, you're never supposed to be. In this world, you're never told to just be on your own, in yourself, get to know who that is, your own thoughts, be comfortable with that. Do you think you know yourself?

Me? Yeah. Do I think I know myself? Yeah, I think I know myself really well. Yeah. Do you think you know yourself? Yeah. Yeah.

I think, would everyone say they think they know themselves? I'm thinking, I don't know if I would ask someone ever, you think you know yourself and they would ever say no so yeah with dating I wanted to talk about this question because this is one that I think I would have really struggled with so if I was in the early stages of dating someone so I before I left London literally the day before you left the day it was actually a real stress so i it was really it was a proper stress the most bizarre turn of events it really was so i was gonna leave london then i had a date arranged a second date with someone and the day before i was leaving london and i was like do i stay to go home like to your family home to go home to my family home because i was like fuck this

this city i can't be here you're gonna be in lockdown yeah i can't be locked down in a in a house in london with three of my friends like i just can't do that i need you're going to be in lockdown, yeah. I can't be locked down in a house in London with three of my friends. Like I just can't do that. I need to be at home where I can walk my dog. That's fine. Hence why I'm at home now. And hence why Charles is featuring in the episode. Yeah. Basically I live in the countryside at home and I thought, yeah, don't want to live, don't want to be in London in a lockdown. Sure. But I had a date arranged the next day and it was a real stress really because I luckily, weirdly luckily luckily it didn't go well it went let's just say i don't want to get into the whole thing but let's just say um car crash absolute train wreck did not go well um but so i won't be seeing that person again the case was

closed they were very very nice yeah they thing is, I did actually say that they have actually listened to podcasts. It just, they were very nice. The date didn't go well and that's fine. It just didn't go, it just didn't go. For reasons you may disclose at a later date. It just didn't go well. But I think it would have been quite stressful if that had gone well. If I did like that person.

And you wanted to continue seeing them. If I did want to continue seeing them, it would have been a bit of a stress in that it's like, what, now do we FaceTime? We're not going to see each other for three, two, three months. Like that's a bit of a crazy thing to get into after, for example, two days. I was thinking about people that are, my heart really goes out to people

that have been on like two, three dates with someone and now have to transition into like, what, essentially. And you're really liking them. That's quite gutting. Oh yeah, exactly. And you're having to transition into like what? Essentially. And you're really liking them. That's quite gutting. Oh yeah, exactly. And you're having to transition into essentially a long-term relation, a long distance relationship. It's like, we didn't sign up for this.

And you've just met. Yeah. But that doesn't mean I don't like you. It just means that I didn't sign up for this. I also wonder how dating kind of like gets in the way of maybe the nicer parts of like quarantine or like isolation as in ideally everyone would be in their own kind of healthy happy space where they are free from capitalism and free to explore themselves as we said and like kind of if you want to start a

little project go for it if you don't then also don't like if you've got some netflix to catch up on yeah in a kind of time where is the only time that we've known that you are allowed to just be in what way does that complicate things when you're trying to just be with somebody new who's also trying to just be and you're trying to introduce somebody else into your just being but you can't be together for months but you can to just be, and you're trying to introduce somebody else into your just being. But you can't be together for months. But you can't just be together. Yeah, it's strange. For me personally, I think it's like,

I've got to put that on hold and say, let's pick this up later or not. Also kind of the fun parts of dating are like the, from what I've seen for you at least, is like the excitement around like before meeting up with them or kind of waiting for a message and stuff but it's like if you're messaging every day in

quarantine and you're never going to get ready and see them for the foreseeable future that's really depping it's just like what am I doing like that's not that's not how that's not how I date I don't do that like I'm not I do think there's something quite um sort of like painfully nice like masochistic about like waiting for the message like yeah that's fun but I don't do that. Like, I'm not, I do think there's something quite, sort of like painfully nice, like masochistic about like waiting for the message. Yeah, that's fun. But I don't want that to be your life. Like that's bad.

If it's just endless waiting for a message. Obviously never wait for the message, but like there is something quite nice about like- The anticipation. The pain of like, why haven't they messaged me yet? Yeah, anticipation. To a certain level.

But anticipation is good when there's a release. Exactly. And if there's no release for kind of the foreseeable future. Yeah, indefinitely. Yeah, that's not good. No, for anything. And then put it into dating terms. It's like, oh, like I can't be bothered

because you've taken kind of all of the things that I personally would like about dating, got rid of them. The real stuff. And just kind of stuck me on FaceTime. Which there is. I'm shrugging. I mean, we're struggling to communicate over FaceTime.

We're arguing big time over FaceTimeetime it does fuck things up as well because kind of jokes don't land like things aren't received in the way that they're intended and we know each other and i'm we're not trying to date like i think if you're trying to show off if you're trying to show off and like show your best self to somebody and receive the same back this format is not in my experience the best for that it's not good also i think especially when like the idea of romantic relationships you kind of need the like physicality of being with the person and kind of just the whole vibe you want to see their mannerisms and also it's like yeah exactly i want to see you walk and also imagine it's like you've gone on what five facetime dates with someone you've never met them before you meet them at the end and you think oh my god i can't wait to meet them i really like them and they smell oh my god that was a real

plot twist i really didn't know that's gutting that you just hate their pheromones you just that's a bad bad ending what i was kind of thinking is this gonna make people play up honestly bad plot twist is this gonna make people play up into what we hate which is um kind of dressing your life up for the instagram story yeah as in now the only thing because you're you're i don't want to say your date the person you are dating is not going to see you physically so the only realm you have is digital so what now you're going to manipulate that i think it's such a mistake to let people into your online life before you've before you really you really know them like i think if you've gone on one or two

dates with someone well you struggled with that with your recent date of them having listened to the podcast yeah which i think is such a mistake because you now have access to all my thoughts. It gives them a way unfair advantage. Yeah, you have access to my beliefs, how I articulate myself. You? Like, huh? How do they know you? What the fuck?

Yeah, that's strange. Yeah. It's like, what the hell? Why do they know what you think? It's absolutely crazy. And I know, all I know is I've been on like one date with them. That's not a fair advantage to have. And I just just think i and also now the politics of like okay you still follow me do they still follow well i may have muted my story from them and i can unfollow in

a bit but i don't want to there's politics of like we've been it yeah it's like looks incredibly rude it looks like there's bad blood and there really isn't yeah there is not there's nothing bad it's just like you're not relevant to my like yeah we're not relevant to each other's lives honestly in a pandemic what is relevant as i say your relationships and right now it's love love here we are back to my old philosophy problem-free philosophy it is so disgustingly typed it yeah it really is a problem-free philosophy if anything that is the only thing that is real is love if you want to argue that you're a depressing demonic being yeah i do agree and i'm a little angel or whatever it was and i'm a little devil but even then i would still agree that the only thing that really is love did i tell you about the books that i once wrote when i was in primary school with my best friend at the time

no no that were called the adventures of devil angel was that their name so their surname was angel no no no no no it's one girl called devil angel yeah that's what i'm saying so that's her name no her full name was devil angel double barreled so is that her surname no no she only has one name no she was she was a devil and an angel her name was devil angel yes i'm saying is her surname angel and her first name is devil no she has one name and it's double barreled she has no surname it's double barreled no it's like um beyonce it's like devil angel yeah um and then she my friend was writing ones and they were best friends and hers was called flower power and it was the adventures of devil angel and flower power oh my god kind of um what were those little fairies called oh like the rainbow

fairy yeah kind of the garden fairy yeah the wind fairy yeah totally that's cool erin the erin the rain fairy yeah they had names yeah so it's your devil angel and flower power and they would just they'd get up some up semantics it kind of forgive me devil angel and flower power to me don't seem like a perfect match no that was the whole point that was the whole point iconic duo i'll wait so mine was the kind of yeah honestly iconic but um devil angel was kind of a bad boy like had a boy and she was super cool no she was a girl she's super cool she had like a big devil's tail but then also like angel wings and like a halo it was quite a cool look that she had going on flower power was pretty much how you'd expect her i would say the less she's kind of a

70s the least cool of the two yeah yeah totally you're getting exactly right 70s like flares with flowers on with that long wavy blonde hair nice you're getting a nice i'm definitely getting a vibe yeah for sure and they were best-selling books we wrote them on paper drew them colored them in year six and we handed them round we handed them around school but there those were my books they sound i just love this is what i kind of think higher priestess um is and maybe this pulls back then to the first question of like do we just get closer to who you actually are yeah in that i always not even say out loud because i'm just constantly thinking it in my mind like these aren't active conversations i have with other people but i just have them with myself that explains the loneliness thing i just don't get lonely because i'm constantly in chat with myself that's the thing i'm constantly in dialogue how can i get alone it's honestly it's

chaos in here like give me a minute to be lonely please like i just give me a bit of peace it's just a constant i've just got stuff going on but i'm constantly thinking about this is the expression of when you're a child and you're like i'm gonna write a book and they're gonna be a book series it's gonna be devil or angel i'm gonna do this and it's gonna be blah blah blah it's like oh i want to start this thing called higher priestess and my friend wants to do it too let's do it yeah and it's like oh we have the means to do so let's do it there's weirdly not much difference between devil angel and higher priestess well also our our vibes are changing our vibes are dynamic as we said i don't know if we said this on the podcast but we have an issue with when people are very strict with an aesthetic yes oh my god i'd love

to talk about this it's such a thing well anyway well just plant the seeds i'll just give you guys a peek but that's all as in i kind of want to go into a bit of it though we just have an issue when so yeah go on we had we were looking the other day at some of our favorite youtubers and like back in the day youtubers like ones we used but don't talk down on anybody i'm not going to i'm not going to don't worry okay and we're going through some specific ones and watching their evolution is so interesting because not even you know with some people you just watch like a natural evolution or they might come out of left field and it's just like okay they've gone into a whole new thing people that's that are very very strict with an aesthetic of like i am the anime girl and that

is your aesthetic then suddenly you are the vegan girl it's getting too close now to the girl and you have a very very strong aesthetic there it's like you just didn't need to shift you didn't need to bin all your anime days it's very distinct phases yeah you just didn't need to bin anything but it's accompanied by a constant um um exclamation of i'm the most me i've ever been i hope you guys accept me because i'm finally being my true self yeah and it's well hang on you said that six months ago when you were in your other phase and you're gonna say it in six weeks time when you're in your new phase yeah it's just really interesting but we'll get into it we'll get into it because it's so interesting i think we can bring in specific examples in the real thing i think we can because it's also not about

taking people down but absolutely not it's just as well. Because it's also not about taking people down. Absolutely not. It's just absolutely fascinating. It's just a really interesting observation. I would love to talk about YouTube as a whole thing. Culture. Yeah, I think it's absolutely fascinating. And I'm absolutely in it.

I'm hooked. I've been hooked since day one. In the holes. Oh, I love it. God, I love it. Big time. Yeah. Okay, well, I hope you guys enjoyed this episode i've

really enjoyed this i mean we've literally answered two questions so we're gonna have to do a part two but you guys really pull through with the questions they are good two questions though we're gonna need to do a part two i think we touched on a third one we touched on the loneliness one okay we've done two and a half so three big difference yeah i think that was fun i'm glad we didn't argue we came out oh my god guys we did a whole episode without going what let that sink in what's sad about that is that we never usually argue i don't think we've ever really argued in our life and then we don't the second week we're trying to record a podcast on facetime we have an argument for three months in a row

we're not really arguments to people which is hilarious no we're not and i i also don't think we're arguing we're um very much arguing from the same perspective yeah that's what's so dumb about it though we're both like no nudes are empowering and everyone's like no nudes are empowering and we're like no they are what's happening what is this conversation honestly dear oh dearie dear what is happening i hope you guys don't mind is this conversation oh dear oh dear honestly dear oh dear oh dear what is happening I hope you guys don't mind is this a symptom of corona I think it is

you argue over FaceTime honestly our conditions are deteriorating rapidly it's never been worse but simultaneously never been better it's such a weird it's great it's the weirdest thing ever I hope you guys are good

and again we love hearing what you have to say i think i mean a lot of you guys really liked hearing us argue so continue to let us know your thoughts yeah you guys loved it you just love our pain thanks so much really sadistic argue argue yeah so recommend this to your friends so many people have been saying oh my friends recommended this to me which is really fucking cute which is really nice and i do love it so tell your friends about this shit if you have cool friends yeah don't send a load of losers our way but also i love talking to my friends about different podcasts i'm listening to so so send send this your friends way thank you guys so much thank you for chatting young stephanie angel devil devil angel okay i'll speak to you

soon speak to you later right bye bye i almost hung up on you then