Goes Without Saying - TMI Q&A: oh no baby what is you doing

Episode Date: May 25, 2020

we're serving dumb bitch juice and spilling all the tea in this HILARIOUS q&a. from our worst sexual experiences to our most awkward arguments, get to know us more in this fun ep of Goes Without S...aying (with sephy & wing). we're getting personal, spicy, and a little bit (extremely) disgusting in this super honest q&a episode. enjoy! speak your mind on our instagram! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Wendy's Small Frosty is the ultimate summer refreshment and not because it's cool and creamy and made with fresh Canadian dairy It's also refreshingly cheap just 99 cents until July 14th. It's a treat for you and your wallet Hello, hello, welcome to Hire Priestess. I've already said welcome. I said I wouldn't say welcome because we're trying to make this casual. But welcome to Hire Priestess. Casual is not what's going through our veins when we start recording this. It's so intense. It's three, two, one, press. Have you pressed it? Yeah. Take one. Hello. It's very intense. And I hate saying welcome because it's like, do I think I'm sort of Graham Norton? Like, welcome to the show. It's very strange. But welcome to Hire Priestess. I'm Per do I think I'm sort of Graham Norton like welcome to the show it's very strange but welcome to Higher Priestess I'm Persephone I'm Erin and we're stiff as a board and we're honestly stiff as two little boards so this episode is a very special episode and
Starting point is 00:00:57 kind of a very different episode because we're doing assumptions and a bit of a Q&A. I'm really excited. I was nervous. Same. I'm shitting myself. As we speak. Because we put a little question box out saying like ask us questions and stuff like this has been very requested. And you guys have really come through with some good questions. So and some hilarious responses as usual. Wouldn't expect anything else. Yeah. So you're going to get to know us a bit more in this episode which i feel like you know us quite well already from our opinions you definitely know uh a weird bizarre um kind of facet of us that maybe no one else in real life would ever know because it's just like honestly start recording god knows what you'll say word vomit honestly it comes out of my mouth before i've had a chance to think about it i'm like oh shit okay that's out in the world now so you're gonna get to know a bit more we're gonna
Starting point is 00:01:50 have a good chat i think let's get straight in so one of the ones that i loved so much i'll read it out word for word absolutely dragged us no less i think this is directed at you when you said you were putting crystals in the bar oh i've got them right next to me got little rose quartz and a citrine next to me right now stunning this person said why have you gotten into crystals middle class craze spiritual drama obsessed and i say yes to both truly obsessed it definitely is a middle class craze yeah should we talk about it well why have we gotten into crystals i do genuinely i think when they said spiritual drama it's like yeah for the drama like the drama of it all we
Starting point is 00:02:30 love tarot and all kind of spooky things yeah fun fact yeah fun fact also if you didn't know what higher priestess is about it's based on a tarot card called the high priestess which i mean everyone unsubscribes right at the second i was like what i thought it was like two stoned female priests i thought it was yeah it was like no no i thought this is a weird podcast but it's a kind of card of like it's like a card of like huge female empowerment and we just kind of love that card so we were like cute and priestess we've kind of appropriated it and made it a bit fucking cooler yeah rather than so we're higher than the high priestess higher than high bitch crystals crystals huh so much to say funny little things when when did you get into crystals well i actually
Starting point is 00:03:19 kind of i've loved kind of rocks a bit of geology for quite a while. My sister had this big collection and my mum was an archaeologist. So, and my dad was also an archaeologist. So they, they've always been kind of a lot of rocks. Yeah. Pebbles. Were there really like around your house when you were younger, were there like rocks and stuff? It's always kind of a thing on walks that my mum's like, Oh, look at this lovely sarsen stone. Let's pick that up and take it home. And you look at it and it's like a giant fucking boulder and you've got to carry it to the car so it's a lot of things like that and then where would it go in your house there are loads on the doorstep and things like that my mum gives them to people as presents she gives people big big rocks and her friends all fucking
Starting point is 00:03:56 love them and i'm like that's quite cool you can't give people a rock for a present well they seem to be loving them she's doing something right yeah but it's kind of her like wacky, kooky, wacky act. She's like, oh, look at me giving you a stone. And they're like, what am I like? Just crazy random me. Yeah, it's like rock women's coming along. But yeah, so I think I've always loved them in that way. But crystals definitely became a thing with me and you. think crystals really we really upped the ante on crystals when we became friends we kind of started a page over it which was weird we literally monetized we always say that we started monetizing our friendship right early immediately well everyone some other people said when did you meet how did you meet etc we met at
Starting point is 00:04:40 uni but we when we became friends i would say about four months later we started higher yeah we started monetizing early like when we became close it was like should we start business like well I guess there's nothing more to do and we just became business partners but wait when did you start getting into crystals I think I started like trying to understand crystals a bit better when I went for my first tarot reading when I was 18 years old. Would you say there's a bit of irony in how we like crystals? Because I almost do it with a sense of like, it's so absurd and I almost don't believe it. But there's this huge like appeal of the irony of it.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Yeah, I think it's in a way a bit performative i think it's completely performative but that's part of the love yeah it's part of the love and it's part of like an expression of i identify as someone or i would like people to identify me as somebody that is like slightly into crystals so i'll pay like three quid for a tiny little crystal that will sit on my desk because i liked some of the words that it had on the packet like yeah and I'm fine with that like I'm happy to participate in this like quite pathetic thing aspect of our lives it's so pathetic but there's something really fun about like the intention aspect of it as well I love putting a crystal like under my pillow and shit like that it's the ritual it's funny to me to take crystals like if i'm going to something where i know i'm gonna feel
Starting point is 00:06:09 anxious yeah you do don't you i take three crystals in my bag everywhere i go i take name three things you don't leave the house without rose quartz but basically everywhere i go i will not have my i will not not have my citrine with me which is hilarious i put it in my bra like it's kind of a weird it's kind of a joke that's become almost like an ocd tendency it's interesting isn't it well it's kind of a harmless thing until yeah i guess if it becomes like until you're walking around and the citrine falls out of your bra that's quite gutting you spill your bag and it's just like full of like fucking marbles i once was wearing it in my bra honestly sounding absolutely nuts and i was wearing a jumpsuit i know the one my denim jumpsuit you know the one and it fell out of my bra down the leg and
Starting point is 00:06:59 came out of the leg of my jumpsuit trickled all the way down I felt it down my body fell out of the leg right next to my shoe stunning but do you think it's severely a middle class thing because I think it's like embarrassingly middle class yeah most things are most kind of Instagram aesthetic things are and it's a luxury you're spending three quid for a piece of rock okay this one i loved i haven't thought about what i'm gonna say uh best and worst sexual experiences oh god i saw this one and i was trying to think okay i can tell you my words okay go on definitely you start well i mean disregarding like this is like actual sexual experiences not like sexual harassment and shit like that consensual we're talking about exactly um okay
Starting point is 00:07:45 this happened i actually don't know when this happened i don't think i've ever told you this oh my god so i'll start that i started off by saying i felt quite ill okay i felt like i could be sick okay great time to have sex yeah exactly so then also this was with jack but he has no idea that this happened as in it happened that's how amazing i am that this whole thing happened and he has no idea i don't know whether i want to say this anymore but it's fine okay yeah so he didn't realize that this happened which is i think a great performance from me yeah one of the best performances of my career okay so I felt quite ill I felt I felt a bit vommy and so that's obviously a perfect time to suck someone's dick this is gonna go badly it's not it's not gonna end well so that's that happened and then i was like oh no oh no honestly she's sipping tea sips tea
Starting point is 00:08:50 i thought oh god i'm getting hot oh god i'm getting a bit hot now thinking about it i'm sweaty if you imagine like a chipmunk i'll honestly alvin and the chipmunk sucking a big dick Alvin and the chipmunks sucking a big dick Alvin Theodore and the other one Simon Alvin Theodore Simon he's the one who wears glasses that was me basically big old mouth full of probably like fucking pasta and like fucking Doritos and shit like that yeah also all on me like it's not just like oh boys are so gross haha it's like no this this was me like this is all me is your whole dinner i i helped yeah so it was still everything was still in my mouth everything yeah as in like so around around the penis there is a load of That's really bad. That's really bad. Kind of, can I say this? I'm sweating. I'm fully sweating.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Oh my God. Like, kind of, could he got an infection? That can't be safe. That's bad when around the penis there are like bits of pasta. Vom. And so on my way back i had to really suck down and pull back and then swallow it down just take it all back where it came from and take it down honestly like the tide going out
Starting point is 00:10:22 to see takes with it the rubbish of the day honestly the tide going out that is hilarious it's a long time not that long ago but it's long enough ago i think if that happened now i'd probably be like i'm just fucking vomiting on on the dick around the dick that is but i really he had no idea he was having the time of his life so it's also quite hilarious that you didn't that you didn't like just spit just spit that everywhere how you kind of like okay i'll take this on me to take to absorb this all into my body honestly talk about the male gaze it's like that doesn't make for a good show that was probably my worst although it wasn't really bad like i found it funny like it was it's just the
Starting point is 00:11:12 bombing isn't nice but that is absolutely my funniest story of all time but really kind of like create a seal around it and pull it back in. And suck it all over. Suck it all back. It's disgusting me. Awful. Sorry, guys. Well, that is amazing. What about you?
Starting point is 00:11:34 So I take your vomit penis and I raise you. I raise you a breastfeeding situation. Oh, my God. situation oh my god basically one amongst the mediocrey situation stands out as just horrific in the sense that i actually don't think we had sex in there but it was kind of you didn't i know you didn't because i know what you're gonna say can we say because he's a virgin it's true well i wasn't gonna say that for his own protection he might not be anymore but basically when this was happening i didn't know this but it turns out later we did find out that he was a virgin i thought oh by the way we're using virgin in like quote marks yeah and i was like oh goodness
Starting point is 00:12:17 okay he had never had sex before and seph we don't want to be his first no i don't want that pressure at all and oh my god but it was very he was very fixated I would say around the boob erring kind of a sucking way but kind of what I was saying afterwards to Erin was it was almost like the last time he saw a boob it was as a child as a baby so the next thing you think when you see a boob again, you think, what do I do? I guess you latch on. Suckle. I guess you latch on. Honestly, suckle.
Starting point is 00:12:54 And there was a point where I did kind of, he was sucking and I just thought, I guess I'll cradle the head. So I was sitting in my bed. Stroking his head. Cradling a little head that's sucking on my boob. And I just didn't have the heart to tell him what is going on. Oh my god. Obviously no milk. I mean he must have been very thirsty. No I hope not. Poor guy. Oh fuck. And I think that ended quite abruptly with just me being like. You fell asleep together though no? Did he fall asleep? He fell asleep on the tea. did he fall he fell asleep on the tea oh he fell asleep eating no i kind of just ended with it was just very anticlimactic and i was like right okay i think i'm maybe gonna go to sleep now oh god awful how did you get out of that situation how do you wrap things up without it being like sex
Starting point is 00:13:46 i was really quite drunk so i don't think it was even okay a thing it was just kind of a i guess you're just kissing for quite a long time it's just like right get your fucking hands off me now yeah like this is this is very much done this is the end this is the end of this situation right now i love it well those are some bad ones. Hope you enjoyed those. Honestly, how do you unhear something? They're both quite bad. Maybe I should have said a warning.
Starting point is 00:14:16 You might not want to hear this. Next cue. Okay, this is a good one. Secrets you've kept from each other slash scandals between you guys i was wrecking my brain for this you said you had something because i was like i need to try and think of a scandal well i saw someone said um have you ever been annoyed at that other person and not said and i thought immediately that not that i have but that you would immediately think of that time where i've got no idea what you're going to say.
Starting point is 00:14:45 I just know you felt immense guilt. When, okay, we got some really decent feedback on something. It was really, really fair criticism. And so I wrote like a big old, like a PR statement, big old thing. What is this? I can't remember if you statement big old thing what is this what did they say i don't remember what is this it was honestly tearing you up i wrote a big old honestly pr statement like press conference yeah i remembered oh god i honestly did a full-on press conference in the comment thankfully the person saw it liked the comment and i was like okay great so they're happy with that let's see if they say anything else because i want to make sure that they're
Starting point is 00:15:27 happy with with with it because it's important yeah so i saw they've liked it okay then i refreshed it i thought let me see if they say anything i was like hang on where's my comment gone i was like shit like their comments still there i was like what it's deleted oh my god i was like i'll ask sephie like maybe she didn't agree with my comment like maybe she didn't agree with the point the guilt's eating me alive already what happened on your end sephi so what happened on my end let's throw it back take the story start two days before two and two days earlier so we were in the midst of mercury retrograde one of the worst periods of our lives that hits us hard every time by the way we kind of say this in a similar way to the whole crystal thing
Starting point is 00:16:11 said with so much irony and an absolute instead of the big old smile on our faces worst time of our lives nothing happens at all but for the narrative of our lives the worst time of our lives but basically all my technology was fucking up big narrative of our lives the worst time of our lives but basically all my technology was fucking up big time i this is the worst bit of it all this was bad the story starts with me having the worst constipation of my life oh my god oh my god i forgot that part of the story this was horrific i genuinely thought my stomach was going to explode i hadn't done a poo in three days straight three days straight and i was lying in bed and i honestly thought i was gonna have to call a fucking ambulance i was like what the fuck is going on right now i wonder what caused that
Starting point is 00:16:57 mercury retrograde i guess it must be the retrograde and i got up in the middle of the night because i was like i actually have to sit on the toilet and like do something about this I'd taken so many laxatives like my housemates were laughing because I had probably I was taking you were overdosing I was overdosing on laxatives it's a bad mercury retrograde when you're overdosing on laxatives yeah and I was sitting a little bit nothing was happening I was like this isxatives yeah and i was sitting there but nothing was happening i was like this is a fucking nightmare and it was bear in mind it's like 4 a.m it was four in the morning all my housemates were asleep they've got work in the morning and i'm just like on the toilet like
Starting point is 00:17:34 crying like fuck my life my stomach was exploding like it honestly felt like the worst pain in the life in the world i went to the cinema to go see parasite with my friend wow really cool we're on reclining sofas and all i was thinking really good film but all i was thinking is fuck my fucking life i want this to be over um so sitting in the toilet what falls down the toilet but my phone falls down the toilet completely broken so i'm running to toilet crying in pain with a fucking bowl but i had no rice so I put it in paella rice a plate of paella rice like it was awful cooked you put it in a bowl I cooked a paella and I put it inside it was awful so I got lost in this few days I lost my I got lost in Piccadilly Circus started crying I had no phone I had the instructions written in a notebook with
Starting point is 00:18:24 Cardi B's face on crying crying crying that was really bad running up to strangers going hi do you know where shaftsbury avenue is so bad half an hour late to the cinema awful another cinema trope different one um so it was a terrible terrible terrible state of affairs um so i had a new phone by this point my mum had mailed me a very shit kind of iphone 3 that was cracked all down the screen and literally the touch screen i mean the configuration was fucked and boy did we pay the price boy did erin personally pay the price with this So I logged onto High Priestess on this terrible phone, which I should never have done. Never have done.
Starting point is 00:19:09 You honestly never should have done because it was bad. It was so bad. You were making moves, all the wrong moves. And I thought, oh wow, she's done a lovely comment. I'm just reading Erin's comment through. Then suddenly the phone, it starts. I see it bubbling up on the phone. A big dark cloud smokes over you before I know it the phone is crashing it's glitching out crash crash crash
Starting point is 00:19:33 crash crash I turn the phone off but it's too late and I think never to be logged on again I log on again it's too late the damage is done and I see where's erin's comment gone and i thought there's no way i could have done that because i didn't press anything that's weird that she's deleted it at that moment how strange a few minutes later i got text marion did you delete the comment i thought oh fuck oh dear so yeah i accidentally deleted the comment it was oh it was stupid on my end because i would normally prep something like that and write it separately and then paste it into the comment box but i didn't i just went for it i just wrote it all out it was quite a beautiful comment i'd say now it's nowhere to be seen it was stunning well i got halfway through never to
Starting point is 00:20:21 be seen never to be heard really important important as well. I'm so sorry. No, no, honestly, don't apologise. The guilt eats me alive. I knew that that would be, oh, I thought that was where your mind would go, but I guess you'd finally forgotten it. And here I am just taking it back up again. Like it was just yesterday.
Starting point is 00:20:41 Apart from that, that's the only like scandal I can, it's not even like, I can't think of a single scandal. I can't think of any because i just think we have a very direct and open form of communication that if something it never ends it's never ending but if anything is at all gone under the surface it's like right can i call yeah but it's never really between us right have you ever thought something and not told me surely have i ever thought something i don't think i have no i think you would i think i would just say it straight away it would just come out because ultimately i'm kind of incapable of if i have if i have something i'm actually incapable of yeah holding it in because i'm not carrying that in my body am i mad well also the
Starting point is 00:21:22 business would suffer and it can't not to our baby i couldn't do it to hire i don't have the savings i can't afford this business to suffer okay the next one we love because we just love ourselves so much uh a comprehensive list of your top priestesses please this is iconic this is everything to be honest i mean we're gonna do a whole thing and be like priestess is all about like self just empowerment blah blah but really a priestess is just anyone that we look at and point out and go yeah you're a priestess i like you yeah you're all priestesses by by miles the name no one consented to oh they called us a priestess again right so who is your ultimate priestess i know like your nan is your ultimate priestess but relatable celebrity do you know what i mean relatable celebrity is sophie turner i think rn
Starting point is 00:22:13 i think yeah i think she must top them all the ring to rule them all there's i have so many i really do have so many honestly and in the darkness behind them i only know that from that film the interview i don't actually know it from lord of the rings um so sophie turner i think who's yours your biggest one you're gonna come up with a good one i can see that smirk on your face the cogs are turning i think this that's what i mean. There's so many. Fuck, okay. My ultimate priestess, someone that I love so dearly and just think they are so amazing is Jonathan Van Ness from Queer Eye.
Starting point is 00:22:55 Jonathan from Queer Eye, I think is one of my ultimate priestesses of someone that I just think has, if you've read his book over the top, everyone should read it. It's so stunning. He has just faced so much in his fucking life and he's so amazing and i just love his whole attitude and i follow his hair regime so strongly so carefully i'm strict about it who else are our top priestesses just basically everyone anyone you see on the feed well they're
Starting point is 00:23:22 all our classic priestesses there's fucking gina martin florence giver yeah slumflower monroe they're all in there they're all in there but my my top top priestesses is like jordan peele it's kind of just exactly it's kind of anyone that we like yeah it's like yeah the jonas brothers are the biggest priestesses heaven jonas you're a priestess, dude. We made a list. Do you remember? Me and Erin sat down when we decided we were going to monetize our friendship
Starting point is 00:23:51 and we thought, let's monetize this. Straight away, we got this purple folder. Do you remember it? I actually have it right. Yeah. I'm looking at it right now. I'm going to get it. Can you read from it?
Starting point is 00:24:02 Yeah. Oh my God. I haven't seen that in so long. Look at the note. Oh my God. So cute. So I'm literally, I have the folder in my hands.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Oh my God. This is, all the pages are laminated. Can I just? We are ridiculous. So. God, I hate us. We've put,
Starting point is 00:24:22 we've got a page that says only amazing people. Number one on the list who now follows us, which is really iconic, Gina Martin. And underneath we've written, inspiring, fighter, beautiful goddess. I don't know if we can read this. It's a bit long.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Number two is Caroline Lucas, the green MP for Brighton and Hove. Oh my God, stunning. Oh, I miss her. And we put angelic, sweet, compassionate, kind. What's wrong with us? Truly angelic. You know why I loved her so much?
Starting point is 00:24:55 I actually had the pleasure of meeting her actually many a time. And one time someone came up to her. They were a kid from Sussex Uni, the same as me, the same as you. And they were like, please, can you... I as me the same as you and they were like please can you i think i've told you this before i just found it really amazing this kid came up and they were like it's really important that you change or just upgrade or give us an option for like the trans community as in like clinics for the trans community because at that point they were having to go from Brighton into London and for some of them I mean that's not an accessible trip like it's yeah it cost it just costs money just going there and it's just overall like not the
Starting point is 00:25:36 nicest it's just not the most pleasant experience it's just it's ridiculous it's kind of ridiculous why should you have to do that yeah like you living on this earth is an inconvenience to you. Every day you encounter a reason to not be yourself. It's not nice. It's just one extra thing where the things aren't set up for you and it shouldn't be like that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:55 Well, this might seem quite underwhelming now, but what I did like from Caroline was that she said, I'm going to have to be honest with you. I'm not, I can't do it. She said, and I loved it no but I thought it was really important that she said she said like I have she said I take this every week I take this in and I fight for it and right now it's not shifting and I'm what I'm not
Starting point is 00:26:21 gonna do is promise you that if you vote for me then within my next do you know i mean within the next election and i get my seat as an mp or whatever blah blah blah and you know within the green party that we can promise you this because i can't promise it to you but i can promise you that i'm doing everything i can right now to try and make it happen and it's very much not just on my radar but something that i really really care about i thought that was great from her just we love someone who doesn't lie yeah and she's up against a load of fucking tories who don't care whether you live or die so she's genuinely a good if anything they just want you to die yeah genuinely they just it would just be better if we all died that would probably make their life easier so if you don't know caroline lucas go check her out she's fucking insane
Starting point is 00:27:03 we've also got a load of other people. Ariana Grande's on here. Miley Cyrus. Rihanna. We've just got a load of cool people on there. Okay, this is a funny one. This is quite a good one. I've changed my mind. Biggest learning experience from a romance.
Starting point is 00:27:18 Ooh. Biggest learning experience. Obviously, I mean, I don't know if I've said this before on the pod, but I did have a boyfriend before jack which is crazy because i was so young you have actually said that yeah and i could give a story about that i guess but to be honest it's just the classic lessons of just you're a kid and they're a kid and it's just like what do you think would happen if you were with a 15 year old boy yeah which i often actually think with jack is like i was with you when you were
Starting point is 00:27:42 a 15 year old boy and i still liked you then do you know what i is like, I was with you when you were a 15-year-old boy and I still liked you then. Do you know what I mean? Like, if I can like you when you're a 15-year-old boy... Yeah. I must like you. A 15-year-old boy. Well, I was thinking yesterday. Was it yesterday or the other day?
Starting point is 00:27:57 If I was 15 when I got with Jack and I'm 24 this year, that's crazy. It's because someone else said, how long have we been together or something? So we've been together like eight years and I'm 23. It's crazy it's because someone else said how long have we been together or something so we've been together like eight years and i'm 23 it's crazy um it's a long time a lesson okay i think my biggest lesson from romance i mean there's just so many i guess my favorite lesson because it's not necessarily the one that i think is most important for you all to hear because if this was a fucking self-help podcast we'd be here all day okay so my favorite learning I think
Starting point is 00:28:29 which is funny actually because it's actually something that Sophie Turner said so it probably resonates with me in some way it makes me like her more because she said that um it's a bit different if Joe Jonas loves you I mean it is a compliment versus if Jack loves you. I mean, it is a compliment. Versus if Jack loves you. I think when you see, so I'm coming from a perspective of being with someone for eight years and it's a healthy relationship. When you see somebody love you
Starting point is 00:28:56 and you know that they love you in the way that you love them, it's kind, it's just like, it's very, yeah, life affirming. Yeah. And it's beyond like getting's very yeah life affirming yeah and it's beyond like getting your self-esteem from somebody else it's beyond that it's it's like the cherry on top do you know i mean it's just like it's the dessert as um cher would say yeah it's literally like okay well that's like a glass of champagne then like okay well i've made my full meal so i can digest myself but you can be the nice kind of glass of champagne that is just so i've made my full meal so i can digest myself but you can be
Starting point is 00:29:25 the nice kind of glass of champagne that is just so it's just like oh i can't explain it god that's so such a great way of thinking about it yeah that's the biggest learning it's just like okay i love me you love me we all love me brilliant honestly brilliant brilliant brilliant i'll take another yeah please sir can i have some more can i have some more what would yours be i've spoken about this before a little bit on the podcast but i think it took me ages to not see a relationship as like a weakness as like a huge sign of um like that you're you believe that you're inadequate and you need someone else just because i've seen a lot of people settle for scrappy dappy do's in relationships
Starting point is 00:30:07 and not even scrappy do's, but kind of people be like, I just want a boyfriend. And it's like, don't be dumb. What do you mean you want a boyfriend? What's his name? You fucking idiot. That's the last thing you need right now, hun.
Starting point is 00:30:21 So I've met a lot of people like that. So I kind of have always had a thing that's like I just do not need that and therefore I do not want that yeah because I remember saying to you well what's so bad about wanting something more remember and you were like oh god yeah because it's kind of like I think I have confused want and need because I certainly don't need it definitely but I think it was like it got to a point where I met someone I was like okay it took a lot for you to um like almost admit to yourself that you would actually want that person to be in your life because you translate that to be like a dependency exactly I very very much know how to function on my own in my life um and be very happy
Starting point is 00:31:04 in my life and then bringing someone else in feels like a whole kind of like wait now i've got to compromise that i have to now compromise what i want to do to fit in with you you weirdo why why in your right mind would you do that but then i started to think because you want to and that's fine and also to deny yourself of that one is a failure in itself. It's a crazy thing to do. Who would do such a thing? Yeah, who would do such a thing as that? So I think I've had to come to the place
Starting point is 00:31:34 where I don't see it as weakness to have a boyfriend because I think I very much viewed it as like, weak girls depend on their boyfriends and I will never be that person. And then I realised, oh wait, some... I'm not a weak girl so it's come that was one of the big things that I've learned I think that leads on to another question that we got Erin are you worried that when you are older you're going to look back at your time
Starting point is 00:31:55 with Jack and wish you met at a later age so you could have some alone time growing up love you guys so much FYI ha ha ha love you more I well you can i say you said to me like oh that question's like well i was like can we set like i kind of feel like it's like do you want to talk about that it's almost like oh shit well yeah so i didn't even think of it in a bad way because i feel like it's such a thing um like such a common thing and and i was saying to Jack so I said yesterday oh it's funny like someone said blah blah blah and he was like well what are you gonna say that I hate you and I'm breaking up with you obviously um like are you worried I'm like yeah I'm worried to answer the question I think to be honest worried is the last word I would use to describe how I feel about my relationship
Starting point is 00:32:48 the timing of my relationship the person that I'm everything just worried is the last the last thing on my mind yeah um the way I see it is I'm enjoying myself and I have been enjoying myself for eight years so yeah I mean if I could have been enjoying myself in an alternative way but that's fine like it doesn't I could have been enjoying myself in an alternate way but that's fine as in when I'm at thought park I'm not wishing it was Christmas day do you know what I mean like both are fun to me but I'm happy with either you're on stealth wishing you were on colossus exactly like doesn't work like that. Both different types of fun. Sometimes you want the corkscrew. Sometimes you want a big up and down. Exactly. Yeah. Like I don't. I'm just not worried. I'm not worried. And if you were worried. End it. Sack it off. Run away. Move country. Change your name. Start a new life. Yeah. On your own. To be in any
Starting point is 00:33:42 situation where you're already happy and then to be thinking oh could i be happier somewhere else it's so love island it's so love island and it could your head be turned even though they're 100 your type on paper haven't watched it in years don't think i'm going back to that no back to the villa absolutely not it's such a weird impulse in in humans to be happy with something and think could i be happier with that and it's like i completely understand it if you're happy in your situation then you're happy in your situation it's not this weird ranking of happiness yeah i think if anything i feel um lucky about the timing i feel really grateful to have had that timing because i yeah i could
Starting point is 00:34:24 have met him now and that would be great but oh i got the extra i got the extra years and it's been so fun like it's just it's just that simple i just don't have worry so fun being sick all the day so many good memories great memories that i know you guys can't see it but Savage is in an amazing motion as well of like kind of um one of those machine claws that you get in like an arcade and that's I think my mouth around penis that's your mouth and then you put it away so I mean it's just good time I mean I would highly recommend it but I think I think it's just us at 15 were a good match and it's just worked out in a way that us at 23 is still a good match and I'm not saying that I recommend it to everyone to get with the
Starting point is 00:35:10 same person at 15 and stay with them their whole lives but for us it's worked out so far and yeah I'm happy with it also you have a very unique relationship because I think a lot of people would hear oh god you've been with the same person since you're 15 and think of a couple that are very like emotionally unevolved and kind of haven't had the chances, the chance to meet someone else. But you and Jack have both evolved in separate ways and had in a way quite separate lives as well.
Starting point is 00:35:34 Like you going to uni and he's had a job in London and you've stayed together throughout all of it. You've both evolved in different directions, but parallel. Yeah. So it hasn't been, it has never been like you've been stagnant. and so you've stayed together out of habit it's not that vibe yeah it's funny actually because i was thinking the other day jack is really like emotionally intelligent and a really really good communicator not scorpio um scorpio they're not scorpio um yeah and so the other day i'm not
Starting point is 00:36:09 gonna say too much so i don't want to put this person in it he was on the phone to his friend at like so essentially this guy is one of his closest friends and he just had a pretty milestone birthday on his own in quarantine in lockdown he lives alone um he has a good job but he has some mental health struggles just he struggles in his life as men do um even though you would think this guy's got most things going for him so jack was on the phone to him the other night on his birthday they started the phone call probably like half 10 at night and jack i actually recorded parts of it jack didn't get jack didn't know that i was doing that obviously i actually sound like the worst girlfriend ever
Starting point is 00:36:51 i've like bugged the whole room and i'm just like vomiting on his dick and here's a clip um but i was just listening thinking god you're an amazing communicator and when you love someone you will make sure that they think your whole world is dedicated to them he just was giving for hours and hours just making sure that he was okay the guy was obviously really drunk on the other side i mean god knows he was just and it was quite a worrisome situation in many ways and it was it was just nice in a way to see because jack is like around me when i'm like having my breakdowns and i know that what he's like in that situation that's fine but to see him do it for someone else it's like oh no you're actually just great like you actually just
Starting point is 00:37:36 care about people like oh i don't know it's just really nice so that's really nice i just think jack's we're good at speaking we're good at getting things out in the open on the same page and we get along so if we get along i don't see an issue it's kind of like the alternative is okay i still love you but i'm breaking up with you because i kind of have this weird um vague vision that i could be happier yeah in kind of the unknown it's like such a vague promise of happiness i think as humans we're always striving for this like yeah in kind of the unknown it's like such a vague promise of happiness i think as humans we're always striving for this like image of kind of vague success and vague happiness but it's like there is no image of that and if you are happy in your current thing and you feel lucky to be there guilt and kind of worry being piled on and fear is just such yeah fear it's honestly
Starting point is 00:38:23 a recipe for misery honestly a recipe for disaster and i think i said in one of the other episodes that jack and i help one another be better as you've said like we've been we've had our separate times like we and we still do have separate parts of our lives and there can be our own human beings but when we are together and just our relationship as a whole we are bettering the other person do you know what i mean like we can hold each other accountable and yeah it sounds really gross but inspire the other person to be better because when i do hire jack is my biggest fan of hire for example jack is my biggest fan in life and is making sure that i'm
Starting point is 00:39:03 doing things and that i feel brave enough to do things otherwise i wouldn't do things he always says it's kind of a joke on jesus but he kind of says jesus gave you a mouth you should use it and we're kind of taking the piss out of god but um the sentiment holds true you were given a mouth you should use it and if your boyfriend is saying things like that to you why are you going to be like oh but i could be i could be kind of getting choked by somebody else and also there are just good aspects of everything like there's good aspects of being in a relationship there's good aspects of being single there's good aspects of having a job there's good aspects of not having a job like but mind your business like kind of if you're
Starting point is 00:39:41 if you're having a good aspect you don't need to be looking around for other good aspects just enjoy just keep progressing it's like don't go looking for this vague promise and i think so many of us do that it's so similar to the thing i just said a bit a while ago of someone saying i just want a boyfriend this vague promise of when i have a boyfriend i'll be happy it's like you are barking up the wrong tree you're barking up the wrong tree like yeah when there's any kind of marker of happiness that's outside of yourself and outside of your current situation you're doomed you're absolutely doomed and also happiness is not like a destination that you can finally get to and then just live
Starting point is 00:40:20 there happily and nothing will ever change like you can't place happiness we say this all the time you can't place happiness and like success on like vapid things i yeah oh my god i'll be so happy if i just like lose an inch on my waist and then you lose an inch on your waist and you turn around you realize you don't like your legs now so you know you've got a whole other thing to fix you've got a whole other thing to work on you've got a whole other thing to be miserable about like humans are fucking shit at being able to just be happy with what they've got and keep their eyes to their own lane and not be worried about what everyone else is doing what everyone else thinks of them like it's very easy to find a flaw in everything in your life it's so true because there are so many markers that i have now reached you even think about higher it's like okay when we just have got the ebook when we've got um
Starting point is 00:41:05 validating out i'll just be so happy when we've got validating out we've we have self-published a fucking ebook we've done it i've done it like i now i just want to do um an event i just want to do an event and then we've done the event and it's like very quickly falls through your fingers and you're like looking at the next thing it's crazy right, right? So just allow yourself to be at Thought Park happy. You don't have to worry about Christmas Day. I actually think I heard this today. That's like happiness. I know it's from my Enneagram thing.
Starting point is 00:41:33 And I was like, this is so, it's such a basic thought. It's so basic. We've heard this, but it kind of just hit me in the right way. If you're trying to build your world from the outside and bring it in, you're not going to get any happiness. But if you are building your world from the inside out. Yeah, I're not going to get any happiness but if you are building your words your world from the inside out yeah i love that i've never heard that before me neither but i was like that's so it so you're not trying to build your world by adding stuff to increase your internal happiness you have to be bringing your insides out and create your world
Starting point is 00:41:59 from there or you'll never you'll never be satisfied it's so true and thinking about the markers of success everyone's like right if you've got your boyfriend you've got your house you've got your kids you've got your job you've got your car you've got your dog yeah it's like but do you actually want any of that think about what you want and go from the inside out it is hilarious that because i think there are a lot of markers that i see people with those markers and just think tut tut tut you absolute fool you absolute honestly you've gone for the things you've gone okay so happiness society has told me a success and I would get a lot of pats on the back if I go for I've got a job that pays me a good amount of money I've got my happy happy relationship that
Starting point is 00:42:36 is very good on it looks very very good on Instagram I've got a fair few followers and I get a lot of likes on my pics and my family are blah blah blah blah like whatever and I've got a house it's just a bit like it's such a sort of thin formula yeah it's like a very thin segment of what your world could look like and it's very funny that that's the one that kind of is the most controlling to women specifically if like you will go down this exact route and you'll have your children and you'll have your dog and that will be your life yeah and i'm not saying that that doesn't lead to happiness but it's only allows a very it's almost like um you've got your eyes open like 10 but they could be the whole way yeah you're shrinking the map yeah exactly you've got a very closed world map on so now your margin for happiness is a lot smaller than it could have been because you could also happiness is also incredibly complex biological like um chemical things are going on
Starting point is 00:43:30 there as well with happiness but science guys it's science and the stars may not have aligned like it could be mercury retrograde and you can't shit for three days um but it's like I think the way people view happiness and success is to be honest so patriarchal like so thin and so um like the the vision of how if my grandma or not my grandma if well to be honest someone like my grandma a grandma could a grandma design my perfect life for me it would look very flimsy and like something that i wouldn't really want within my fucking sight i don't get that image out of my sight yeah a lot of how women's happiness is built on passivity like being passive and just going with the flow and pleasing everyone else something that ticks boxes i can't i can't relate sorry okay this one i
Starting point is 00:44:21 thought was good just to clear up the rumors confusion the nasty rumors um would you guys ever date girls i feel like you spoke about this on the podcast before can you clarify yeah well i'll clear up the rumors yeah i would absolutely date girls i do date girls i date girls and boys the range the range of her mind a variety of people and yeah what about you would you date a girl um i'm not really dating no true i don't date much um i don't think so but it's just not something i would ever i would never think about dating a boy either to be honest also i just think the way i view it as well is very not serious it's very not deep it's very much not a thing that kind of played my mind of has to be explained very much being why would you not explore the whole options of the whole world yeah expand your margin yeah
Starting point is 00:45:19 yeah it's like why is my world so small i want everything i want everything and i like everything yeah why would i not want everything why do i just everything i want everything and i like everything yeah why would i not want everything why do i just want some things when i could have everything yeah and the some things listen the options from over here the options aren't looking good i've seen this dating thing you guys are doing is not looking good yeah it's not a thing that i label at all i think that's a lot of people's experience and I think the more you know the time goes on and hopefully people learn to be more I'm rolling my eyes more accepting and not as fucking to be honest not so many cunts in the world I think it will become a lot easier for people to have different experiences with their sexuality and
Starting point is 00:46:01 for it not to be questioned and also just like the desire to box people in is something i really resent and i think labels can be so empowering and so important but i find any um attempt to put me into any specific group really oppressive in anything if someone said to me oh you solely support um labor you're not you solely support labor's views you are a member of the labor party it's like well actually i like a lot of the green party's policies yeah i completely agree with you and that's totally i'm hoping that as time goes on and people stop being such cunts it's just any experience goes as in if you want to label yourself cool if you don't don't if you're straight whatever stop talking about it like let's
Starting point is 00:46:45 just yeah zip it shut boy but i wonder actually just picking up on something that you said about being boxed and being labeled for your sexuality would be oppressive and that it's not deep to you i wonder if in a way that is part of you can still benefit from the straight privilege because you don't have to label yourself as bi but you can still benefit from the straight privilege because you don't have to label yourself as bi but you can still scroll on tinder completely yeah i think i i do access a really particular point of privilege in that i very much present in the world as a straight female and i can access both like i can the night before be kissing a girl in a bar like getting with the girl in a bar and then walk down the street the next day and no one is calling me like a dyke because I present as femme but it's a really
Starting point is 00:47:30 interesting I completely agree that it's a real privilege to not have to put a label on my sexuality in any way but still extremely valid I love it should we wrap it up I've had so much fun the most fun and I hope that you have enjoyed getting to know us further. Yeah, even the parts that I'm not proudest of. Even the parts that made you sick, dear. Thank you all so, so, so, so, so much for your questions and all your messages. And when you listen, I just honestly can't cope I love it I absolutely live
Starting point is 00:48:08 for this it's so great so stunning well we hope you enjoyed thank you guys so so much thanks guys and we'll see you in the next one stay safe out there stay alert stay alert stay alert whatever that means. Bye. Bye.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.