Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 108 - Uncle Joe and Tad Rams Join
Episode Date: December 21, 2019What up stokers, in this fire episode we are joined once again by the legend Uncle Joe and we discuss Chad's recent move to Culver City. We also take a call from the legend, Tad Rams, to discuss his n...ew movement with Molly and how he rages best during festi season. Check it out!Check out Tad at @officialmollybro on instagram and youtube!
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All right, let's start the pot.
I mean, that's having water bottles on the show.
No, I'm going to get mine.
I'm going to get mine.
I'm embarrassed, but I got to get mine too.
I'll leave it on the lake down here.
Water bottles and big hogs.
What is up, Stokers of Stoke Nation?
This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad JT podcast.
It's good to be back on here.
It's been a while.
Was I on timeout?
I don't know.
Yeah.
No.
We missed you.
Yeah, thanks for having me back.
It's always good to have you.
Yeah, we love having you on.
How have you been?
Pretty good.
I just got my hair cut today.
A little hungover still from our Christmas party.
Yeah, how was the Christmas party?
It was fun, yeah.
You had a two-day hangover?
Went too late into the night.
No, I mean, I'm fine now.
I just am moving a little slow, a little sluggish, just not eating great.
What's your mentality at a company Christmas party?
You usually just keep drinking.
Do you get worried about embarrassing yourself in front of coworkers?
Yeah, I think you've got to be weary of that.
But I don't do shots or anything.
I just was having beer, but I had a lot.
Dude, I was in Newport one time.
I think I mentioned it on the pod.
This guy's like, he's like, all right, we're going to just some, he's a stoker.
He's like, we're going to chug.
We're going to race to see who can chug fastest.
And I was like, and he's like, and loser has to take a shot.
And I'm like, I'm like, dude, I love to rage, but, you know, my, my goal, but my goal, it can't break open.
Yeah, some people can't chug.
And it's not really, it sucks that chugging is synonymous with being a great party bro.
Yeah.
Because it's really not that important of a skill.
Yeah.
Well, no, I don't want to say that.
It's very important.
Yeah.
Because it can get people hyped up.
But you can still be a great party bro without knowing how to chug yeah as long as you still have the
same amount of you know i'm not a good chugger yeah as long as you have the same amount of froth
going into the party and if you're you know still putting down you know booze yeah some people would
just open their throat like they're like a snake or something. It just pours down.
Yeah, I can't do that.
Yeah, I don't know how to do that.
I swallow each bit.
I go, donk, donk, donk.
You got to have the kind of throat where you don't have to do that.
Yeah.
Dude, we have a friend calling in.
Yeah, we have our buddy Tad Rams.
He's kind of our go-to guy for festy season.
Yeah.
The dude, you know Tad?
Tad, yeah, he's the man.
Yeah, he really...
He's a fun guy.
If you're going to go to Coachella,
if you're going to go to Bonnaroo,
if you're going to go to Lollapalooza,
you want Tad in your corner
just to make sure that he's keeping the vibes high
and the froth high and the romance flowing
because he specializes in all that. Nice, dude. Yeah. Roth High and, you know, the, you know, romance flowing.
Because he specializes in all that.
Nice, dude.
Yeah.
Will it be a welcome addition to the pod?
Is he on the line now?
I'm about to call him. Oh.
Hello?
Tad.
Tad, what up, dude?
Yo, what up, Tad?
What's up, dude?
What up, dude?
Welcome to Going Deep with Chad and JT.
We're stoked to have you on
yeah thanks for having me uh on here i'm i'm uh it's really honored to be here have you done any
other podcasts no i haven't and actually public speaking and like talking um in this kind of way
is not really my strong suit but you know i'm happy to to jump on and just try to get out the
word for a strong cause you know right so you felt behooved to come on and in service of a bigger thing.
That's right.
Yeah.
I really appreciate the platform and just you guys trying to increase
stoke and basically the same thing as what I'm doing.
Thanks dude.
Yeah.
We were just,
uh,
singing your good graces.
You're sort of our go-to guy for festy season,
sort of the guy you want in your squad.
If you're going to hit up any festival like Coachella,
Lollapalooza,
Bonnaroo. Yeah. Lightning in a Bottle, Burning Man, just whatever. Bonnaroo for sure. Yeah,
thanks, dude. Yeah, so you mentioned that you want to spread the word on what you do.
Can you explain what it is? Yeah, I can go into it. Basically, I had a transformative life experience back in 2013.
And all this information is available online in a YouTube video I made.
But basically, I discovered something called Molly.
And I was put into my water, and I drank it and ended up feeling complete bliss.
And realized that a lot of the world hasn't felt that before.
And so as soon as I got home, I just saw it as my kind of like call to action to make sure that the rest of the world knows about Molly
and therefore can reach bliss as well.
Yeah. And all this video is on Stoker's checking my official Molly bro on Instagram and on YouTube.
That's right.
And,
uh,
yeah,
so maybe go into a little bit of your mindset before and like how,
and then once you,
the Molly hit,
how it kind of changed your life.
Yeah.
So basically before that,
um,
my life was kind of in a rut.
I had been,
um,
I'd broken up with my girl and,
uh,
my workout routine had kind of plateaued.
I've been working hard on my tries and just really coming over the hump.
I was kind of leveled out at 35 pounds.
For sure.
On the press down or on skull crushers?
Dumbbells.
The one in the gym where you pull it down from the top.
Pull downs.
A lot.
Pull downs, yeah.
Not that well-versed.
I was just kind of watching the strongest guy in there kind of do what he was doing.
Nice.
But so, yeah, dude, I was just not in a good spot and um then my whole uh jacob whole squad kind
of rolled up and they were going to coachella and first i was like no i'm gonna bail you know just
didn't have it in me and they were like in the car you fucking pussy and you know because i'm not a
fucking pussy i got in the car so we ended up. And, you know, as long as I'm not a fucking pussy, I got in the car. So we ended up going there.
And, yeah, it's just like my problems that I had at home actually ended up following me there.
So I was still tripping on my workouts, still tripping on my girl, you know, breaking up with me.
Kind of wondering if she was, like, around, you know, Coachella with some other dude or something.
And I was really just questioning life and not really in love with myself that's tough yeah it's not a good place to be um because
when you don't love yourself it's like um yeah it's horrible who can love you exactly yeah you
gotta love yourself first so then what what happened then once you got to coach ellen
you were in that kind of rough head space yeah so for the first day i was a fucking straight up
schmall just like not even like front fun to hang around with almost like picked if i had my friend
because he tried to call me like like sad tad and i was like fuck that i didn't want that nickname
to stick so we kind of got into it
and then basically cut to Saturday night I was just not feeling it and then the Tupac hologram
came out on stage um and just everyone was going ape shit and I'm sad to say I just wasn't um
until Jacob handed me the bottle of water and then 45 minutes later um everything changed
that's epic dude i remember that hologram
it was so legit some i'm stoked you got to uh get to a place where you could truly enjoy it
right yeah it's like that's one of my biggest regrets because it was really an opportunity
to feel like you're seeing tupac live and i was just throwing it away because of my
fucked up attitude yeah yeah sure did uh and then after you went through the
the doing the molly what was the rest of the night like after that
dude it was fucking epic man i basically like hula hoops um i did crazy shit i've never done
before dude like and don't even like you're gonna're going to sit there and think, like, what?
Why'd you do that?
But just, like, in the moment, on Molly, it just felt right.
Like, I let a babe paint my finger now.
Nice.
And just exchanged massages with my guy friends, which was weird for me,
but ended up just kind of feeling good.
And I ended up talking to a guy who opened a mechanic shop for, like,
four or five hours. Just kind of got into it and just talked up talking to a guy who opened a mechanic shop for like four or
five hours just kind of got into it and just talked about our lives from yeah four or five
hours till the thing came up and um yeah it was pretty epic that's so legit and so um and now
you're just trying to spread the good word of molly to the masses yeah when i because when i
left i thought i was super depressed again I thought okay you know
can't always be with the squad um can't always be at Coachella uh but what if I could always be on
Molly and that's when I realized I needed to do something about the state of mind I was in and
I got home made a couple calls and proud to say I've been on Molly every day since
every day uh more or less yeah Are you on Molly right now?
Yeah.
How does it feel?
I'm rolling balls right now.
I feel great.
And then how do you deal with the comedown?
Well, comedowns are sort of like a misnomer
because if you just kind of keep doing Molly,
you don't really have to come down
oh for sure hell yeah uh so the holiday season is upon us so we thought we'd uh
you know hit you up to sort of tell the stokers uh the best way to spend the holiday season
um what's sort of your favorite way to engage in the festivities oh you know do molly for sure
does your family does your family know you're on molly um they're sort of aware um my dad is
actually uh currently he's actually the biggest sponsor um of my life and pursuit right now uh
it's kind of paying for my apartment stuff which which actually reminds me, if you don't mind, if I could give a just quick plug for my dad.
For sure.
Yeah, so my dad owns, listen, if you're looking for a condo in Redondo Beach, look no further
than Chad Ram's Real Estate. My dad can help you find the greatest deal and put you in
a condo tomorrow. So just remember, Rams fans, when you're looking for a house, whose house
is it? Your house.
Yeah, thanks for that.
That's nice.
What do you give your family members for Christmas?
Usually either kind of nothing,
or I'll give them Molly,
or I'll make my dad like a...
I've been making DJ also,
so I've been making Christmas tracks for everybody.
Hell yeah.
Like songs,
um,
that I play for them.
And then,
yeah.
Yeah.
Cause you're an aspiring DJ now,
right?
Yeah.
Yeah,
definitely.
So,
um,
have,
uh,
I haven't checked in the last couple of weeks,
but yeah,
I'm up to about like 60 something followers on SoundCloud,
which is crazy.
Never thought I'd be in that position. Yeah. So I've just been kind of like do my thing, but yeah i'm up to about like 60 something followers on soundcloud which is crazy never
thought i'd be in that position yeah so i've just been kind of like doing my thing trying not to keep
too much notice of like you know what's going on online but yes kind of taking off and doing
some big things in fact i have a show at the chinese palace upstairs on hillhurst in a couple
weeks um i need to get 20 people out to be able to perform.
If any of your listeners want to come out.
Stokers, hit it up. Chinese Palace on Hillhurst.
21st, you said?
I forget the day, but it's in a couple weeks.
Go to the Chinese Palace's website.
It'll be on there.
Sick.
Have you gotten much feedback
on how you've inspired people?
Yeah, the feedback's been
amazing um i have like 11 to 12 people that i know have affected because they call me once a
week to get hooked up with molly and the video is out there it's doing its thing and you know
there's no way to know for sure what your impact is but you just kind of have to hope um like you
know what i just tell people is like look you know the world's kind of have to hope um like you know what i just tell people is like look
you know the world's kind of crazy right now um but we could achieve world peace for four to five
hours if everyone did molly and that fact just blows my mind and keeps me going and i tell
everybody like no matter how depressed you are at any given moment, just remember that true bliss is only 45 minutes away.
Is there enough Molly to have everyone in the world do it at the same time?
That's a good question. I don't know. I have a friend who's a scientist, so I was going to
probably hit him up and just like get some numbers on that. But as of right now, we're not really
approaching that kind of level of, you know awareness about molly but
you know through a podcast like yours and just a word to word and you know just kicking it at
festivals i've been kind of getting the word out there and you know hopefully we test the limits
you know you never know and when when you say you give it to your to people um do they pay you or
is there any yeah yeah i mean i'd prefer it if they don't.
Like, ideally, I would just be giving Molly to everybody.
But unfortunately, like, I don't get that much money from my dad every month.
So I'm kind of limited in how flexible I can be.
But my goal is to raise money.
You can actually donate to this cause um on venmo at molly bro and all every dollar that you donate
goes directly to molly and the more i can buy the more i can buy like a bulk and i get cheaper
prices and then i can hook people up even more nice hell yeah hopefully it hopefully stopped
living off my dad's teat so to speak so maybe we're getting to festivals a little bit what
what's what would you say is the most impactful relationship you've made at a festival actually
i almost want to say with myself if that's an answer like kind of like um it's hard to explain
but like thinking of myself as like a person that deserves to be taken care of and be happy,
and then trying to live a better life as a result.
I don't know.
Does that sound kind of lame?
I'm not sure.
No, I think it sounds profound.
Yeah.
I love self-love.
Self-love is the key.
Self-love.
I'm going to write that down.
That's kind of what I mean, yeah.
Self-love.
Do you do any other drugs?
Just like booze, mushroom chocolates like if someone's got poppers i'll fuck around did a couple whippets for christmas um no not
really like maybe acid if someone's got it but not really trying to trip that hard on like
like to think that much so usually i just stick to molly
i love that love that um i got i have one question you mentioned that when you were at the festival
where you first did molly you were worried you might see your girlfriend there with another guy
uh yeah did that end up happening or uh yeah well it's kind of like and were you on when it when i yeah i was on well that's that
that's the saving grace is that yeah i ran into her um she was with this guy like we were what
do you call it like um there's like an orgy happening in this kind of tense face and like
i wasn't really trying to um like have sex with anyone but i was kind of tense face. And like, I wasn't really trying to, um, like have sex with anyone,
but I was kind of getting massaged and like just kind of feeling around and
whatnot and, um, looked over and there she was. Right.
So basically I was living in my worst nightmare, um, in the flesh.
And, but luckily in that moment I was on Molly.
And so therefore I was sort of able to see it not as something devastating,
but as like
um just kind of like weird and she was with a guy that um normally would make me so jealous
that i'd flip out and break shit and like trip out for a couple weeks but in that moment i kind
of was like we're just all people on planet earth and like if they're in love that's great although
i'm not really sure if they were
actually in love or just kind of met and wanted to fuck but why was he the kind of guy you'd be
jealous of he's just really tall and like um 10 and like he um i don't have much of like a
chin really he's kind of like a nice jaw he had a huge dong um which was like good for him but definitely kind of had me on guard how do you how do you handle
a big dong when you're on molly in the orgy tent uh well i don't touch her what do you mean
do i oh like just like how do you psychologically not let it impact what you're doing yeah gotcha
gotcha um yeah i kind of look at big dongs like a metaphor for
life like there's always going to be bigger dongs out there but you just kind of got to keep your
head down and handle your business and um and then if the girl you're with kind of looks up
and starts noticing it um then just kind of like try to pivot your body away in a different
direction and distract her or something for sure who were you in the orgy tent with sorry i know that's
really blunt question but i'm i'm curious no it's all good dude um i was with a couple homies like
my friend ken went in there and then the twins went in there and um eric was in there i'll see
we're trying to meet girls in there which is like not really the best place to meet girls
you're supposed to actually go in with the girl but um i ended up meeting this girl
in there that yeah we didn't fool around her i don't really know much about her um and we ended
up just kind of talking oh i'm a big talker on molly yeah in fact we were kind of talking too
much they ended up making a sleeve all right do you have a girlfriend now? I have a girl that, yeah, it's a little premature.
I almost hate to use that term so soon because we just met like two nights ago,
but we did spend 14 hours dancing,
and so I feel like we kind of got to know each other really well.
So I'm holding out hope that this might be my wife. I don't know.
I love that.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
So festive season is, I mean, winter is coming and we're gonna
have some downtime. How do you deal with the sort of in-between time between the end of festive
season and the beginning? Yeah, it's, I'm not gonna lie. It's really tough. But luckily festive
season, when it ends, it rolls right into festival season. you get like um you know like or festive season
like christmas you know and um so i kind of like just roll christmas is amazing because
the whole world is acting with the joy and cheer that one would feel on molly and so for this one
beautiful month it's like the whole world's like kind of on your tip
you know for sure and so i really enjoy that um and try to get into like i love christmas like
uh i love mistletoe you know um called fizzletoe you know and um and actually that reminds me that
if you if skrillex is listening or any other major dj
um christmas music is great but it doesn't have any bass yeah and so you know be kind of cool
if we could get some remixes going and just kind of address that because i think that would bring
a lot more people into the christmas spirit yeah maybe get like bass nectar to do a remix of that
mariah carey song oh that would be amazing yeah yeah i think
that would really do a lot of good um and of course then you know december christmas is amazing
the new year's is off the fucking hook and then okay january and that can be a pretty depressing
month there's not really like no one's celebrating like like any major holidays and it's cold and it
gets dark um soon so that's why it's really important to me around the holidays to get the
word out about molly to make sure that people have something waiting for them when they hit that point
do you have a new year's resolution um i try not to live in the future or the past so i haven't
given it too much thought but um yeah i definitely like to
kind of have like i think a new year's resolution for me would be like definitely get yoked kind of
keep working on that um i'd like to make three more tracks next year for my soundcloud account
and it would be nice to be able to live in an apartment that isn't attached to my dad's house
and not have to deal with his like kind of bullshit and like him kind of get on
my shit because my car's not clean and just to kind of have my own things what's his bullshit
sound and also to achieve world peace sorry what'd you say oh the world peace hell yeah what's your
dad's bullshit like he's always like dude your car is a shithole and i'm like dude if my life
was as boring as yours my car would be hella clean too but i'm busy like going from thing to thing yeah and he's also like he doesn't um like he kind of judges me i
think but that might just be me projecting i'm not sure yeah and um yeah that's about it
for sure yeah that's well tad dude. Joe, anything you want to ask?
Yeah, well, I just would disagree that January is a good month.
My birthday's in January, so.
Oh, what day in January?
26th.
Okay, so.
And also there's NFL playoffs going on.
It's a big month.
And also Jt's birthday
brother i agree with everything he said yeah well that's cool too and like look january maybe the
takeaway is like it's kind of every man's own battle like it kind of based on the birthdays
you have in your squad like actually a good point is maybe i don't have enough friends with
january birthdays or maybe like if you guys are doing something, I should kind of come through and kick it.
Yeah, you'll kick it this year for the birthday celebration.
And football, I could get down for it too, for sure.
Yeah, maybe it's just a personal thing for me that's pretty dark, but I don't think so.
If it were up to me, the same way we put fluoride in the tap water,
we'd be doing the same with Molly, just to get it out there and let the people have access to happiness but it's not the way it works in fact it's actually uh
little known fact it's highly illegal at the moment which is something we're kind of working
on um but at the moment yeah it's like kind of actually dangerous to like try to get it or sell
it and let's say the last thing is i know a lot of people out there don't have the opportunity to be with their families on Christmas because they already have plans to go to like a rave or warehouse party or something.
And so for all those people out there, just, you know, hit me up if you want.
And if I don't have Molly on me, like I can definitely refer you to someone or just kind of help talk you through that experience.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
Aaron, anything you want to say?
No, I just have a good time. How many people are over there good time bro it's uh jt me joe and aaron nice yeah what's up um what up well tad thanks so much for calling in man and stokers check him
out official molly bro on instagram and is it is your youtube tad rams or is it molly bro
i think it's tad rounds if you google molly bro yeah the informational video should come up
um and yeah that should help you get all the information you need at least to start with
and then go from there cool all right man uh be safe out there we'll talk to you soon
all right thanks for having me on yeah thanks for having me on to talk about the cause i appreciate it of course man we'll talk to you soon. All right. Thanks for having me on. Yeah, thanks for having me on.
Talk about the cause.
I appreciate it.
Of course, man.
We'll talk to you soon.
Good luck with everything.
All right.
Later, guys.
Have a good one.
Sounds like he's in a really good place.
He's a great guy.
I worry about him a little bit.
Yeah.
If I'm being honest.
Well, yeah.
I don't want to judge him because he says he's so happy, but I don't know.
It's tough.
Yeah, I'm not a drug guy.
But you played along nicely.
Yeah, I'm...
The rammer.
I mean, I did just move, but he did...
He did sort of entice me with that condo offer.
Oh, that was nice.
Yeah, and that was nice of him,
even though his dad and him were beefing.
He still pushed his dad's company hard. I mean him even though his dad and him were beefing like he still you know
pushed his dad's company hard
I mean I know his dad
pays for his apartment
so he's a little incentivized
but it was still
a really nice sentiment
yeah
Redondo Beach
is a nice area
it's great dude
yeah
Redondo Union
good volleyball team
yeah
well Molly bro
thanks for calling in
thanks dude
Tad
alright moving forward.
Yeah, what else, Legends?
You been doing laundry?
Yeah, a lot.
Yeah, because we had a broken dryer, and so I got backed up.
Ruined some of my sheets.
Yeah.
I washed them one night, and then the dryer was broken.
I had no way of getting them dry.
Yeah.
And a big mold got on them. Yeah, I... They're still on the dryer. They're molding way of getting them dry yeah molds got on them
yeah i uh they're still on the dryer they're molding them out are they still in the dryer
they're on top of the dryer no one's touched them i gotta toss them yeah but oh they're just still
on there i think they're just sitting there do you have new sheets now yeah well i already had
some backups and i just those ones were clean yeah yeah mom sent me, so I got a new bed. My mom sent me sheets and I moved around like Thanksgiving and I was like, Hey, where are
these sheets coming in?
And somehow it got to, Oh, they're coming out on December 23rd.
So I've been kind of cruising sheetless.
Really?
No.
What are you, what are you sleeping on?
You have no sheets?
Just a comforter?
I got a backup here, but my comforter is duvet-less.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't do the duvet.
You're not a duvet guy?
No.
I slept on a trash bag for like a month.
I like that.
Yeah.
My sheets were all dirty for various reasons,
and I just put a trash bag on the bed and slept on that.
That's resourceful.
Yeah.
Yeah, good job.
Well, because if you don't, you'll get a rash.
Yeah.
Well, you know what?
I feel like...
Bed bugs.
I feel like I could sleep on a lot of things.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
People are like...
People will get so picky.
They'll be like, you need the proper sheets.
You need the proper pillows.
I'm like, more like I just need a flat surface and a pillow yeah yeah and something to keep me warm i fall asleep on the
couch every night yeah yeah that's my preferred place to sleep i like sleeping in a living room
do you yeah yeah but what about when you wake up doesn't don't you feel like it sort of interrupts
your flow yeah your rem flow yeah that's true're going to wake up every time at 3 in the morning and be like,
where am I?
Get up and move.
Yeah.
Messing with the REM.
Yeah, you can't mess with the REM.
Joe, how many hours do you average a night?
I mean, I try to get 7 or 8.
Yeah, because if I don't, then I'm angry.
Are you going to see Richard Jewell?
Yeah, I'd go see that.
I only bring it up because you mentioned when we saw a trailer for it,
and you said, I think that might be the first movie I've seen in theaters
since The Revenant.
No, I think I've seen something after that.
Maybe not, but, yeah, I don't think after that. Maybe not, but...
Yeah, I don't think I have.
You're not a theater guy.
Yeah, I'm not really.
Why Richard Jewell?
I don't know.
I'm intrigued by that story.
I didn't know what the story was of that bombing at the Olympics in 96.
I mean, I knew that it happened, but I didn't know the details of it.
I never followed what happened exactly
so it seems interesting what was i saying i don't think anything
good stuff about you dog me i'm uh i'm almost done moving out of my old apartment oh you're
still doing that well i i moved into the new one, and I still had old furniture there and stuff.
So I took that out, and now I just need to go back and sweep.
But you think you get the job done, and it just kind of lingers.
Yeah.
There's always another part.
Yeah.
It takes a long time.
Yeah.
But I'm pumped to stay in this new place, Culver City, for five years.
Oh, that's a nice plan.
Maybe less, but...
But you want it to feel like five years.
Yeah.
I'm in it for the long haul.
I'm not looking for a year-long thing with this new one.
I think it's...
I like the location. the location a little far
yeah he burns you on the way over he goes chad's coming from culver wendy leave 11 yeah
how long did it take to get here i'm curious uh well i did come from west hollywood this time
because uh i was at the old place but usually it usually takes me like 40, 45 minutes.
No, it doesn't.
It does.
What a load of shit.
40 minutes?
That's what it takes us.
No, it takes you at least an hour.
Well, dude, I take the...
He's got better freeway access.
Yeah, I'll take the 10 to the 110 to the 5.
That's like a giant circle around town.
You're going downtown
and then up and around?
What a disaster.
You can't believe you live there.
It's going to ruin everything.
No, it's not.
You have to go through Hollywood and Highland.
That's the biggest disaster.
If we don't do the podcast at 5 o'clock on a Thursday,
then it takes two hours.
But now it took us, it would have taken 35 minutes
if we stopped at Whole Foods.
What'd you get?
I got sushi.
Yeah.
Joe, and when I first told you I was moving to Culver,
you came in hot with a deep criticism.
Do you remember what that was?
Yeah, it's like where all the women live.
Or something.
What'd I say?
That's what he said.
Is that just because our girlfriends both live there?
Well, I just know anyone who I know that says they live in Culver City is a woman.
I've never heard a guy be like, oh, I live in Culver City.
It's always women.
I feel like it happens. I don't
think it does. No, there's a new
dude in town. You might not even be
welcome there. They might be like, oh, who's this guy?
This is supposed to be our territory.
Women aren't going to be
mad at you. I haven't felt that yet, but now that you
put in my dumb, I'll be more
sensitive to it. Yeah, I mean, if you start getting
dirty looks, don't be
surprised. Maybe guys don't live there, but come in i've been at like tender greens there
and seen other dudes yeah they're coming in from west hollywood in the neighboring towns pico
robertson they don't actually reside in the culver city like if if you have to send a mail you're not
writing culver city on there what about s about Sally's moving to Marina Del Rey?
Yeah, that's insane.
I think we'll be all right.
Yeah, I mean, enjoy Lincoln Boulevard.
That's all I have to say about that.
Why do you think all the women live in Culver?
Because that's where they live.
That's all any woman I in Culver. Because that's where they live. That's all... Any woman I've
talked to...
Like I said, anybody that says they live
in Culver City, it's always a woman. I've never
heard guys say that they live there.
So I wouldn't go around telling people about it.
That's all I'm saying.
Alright, I should have thought
about that before I signed the lease yeah have you seen other guys
in your building or anything no see now that you mention it i thought i saw dudes and that's
probably why it's so nice that's what i thought yeah that's like yeah there's no guys in my
pilates class that's part of the reason i like it well that's different they have a thing called
lagree too have you heard about that what's that it's like a thing called Lagree, too. Have you heard about that? What's that?
It's like a, it's Pilates, but there's like, I think like weights added to it.
Oh, interesting.
To get a little more sculpting?
Yeah.
I'm into that.
I'd have to leave my school, though.
I kind of, I got some customer loyalty there.
Yeah, have you made like some acquaintances?
No, I see some familiar faces, but I don't talk to anybody.
I just say thank you to the instructor on my way out.
You're just focused on the Pilate.
And then I get on a scooter and I ride home.
That's awesome.
Yeah, so they get to see me rip out of there.
That's the future right there.
Yeah.
I get on a scooter and I ride home.
Do you think back in the day our parents would ever think that their children would be saying something like that?
No.
There's no way my dad could have pictured that.
My son's going to be going to Pilates and then scootering home.
He might have seen the Pilates coming, but not the scooter.
Yeah.
That's epic.
You're not that smart, Dad.
Joe, what's your take on scooters these days?
Well, I've never ridden one.
Are you interested?
I've had to get one out of my way a few times,
so I've touched them because they're in my way.
But that's the only...
Like, there was one, I was working at the comedy store in the parking lot,
and there's been scooters back there a couple times,
and then I have to drag them out, and then they start beeping.
Yeah.
Because I think West Hollywood, you can't even have them there.
Yeah, there's areas where they're not allowed.
So it locks up
and I have to pick it up and throw it
on the sidewalk.
Are you tender with them?
No, I manhandle them.
What do you think when you see a person
riding by on a scooter?
I just think that's dangerous.
I wouldn't do that.
That's fair.
And we have some friends who got injured riding scooters.
Yeah.
And some of them don't tell the truth.
They're, like, ashamed.
And you have to ride them on the street
where there's a million cars at all times.
It just sounds crazy to me.
When you toss them...
I mean, if you could ride them on the sidewalk,
then I'd be like, okay, it's like...
But when people do ride them on the sidewalk, it's'd be like, okay, it's like... But...
When people do ride them on the sidewalk, it's danger.
Like, I've almost got ran over.
Yeah.
They do come in hot.
Yeah.
When you toss them, do you give, like, a grunt where you're like...
Ah!
Yeah, probably.
No, I don't really throw them down.
I don't want to break them, but...
I do, like, have to grab them hard if they're... Because if they don't roll, the wheel locks but I do have to grab them hard.
Because if they don't roll, the wheel locks,
so you have to really pick it up.
Here's what I think we should do.
I think next time we go to city council and give a speech about scooters,
which I'm sure will happen because they're under constant threat,
you should come in and speak for the other side. Because I don't think there's a face for the other side yet,
and your reasons are practical.
Yeah, I'll be that face.
It's dangerous why do you think they're outlawing them you're a letter of the law guy have you ever uh when's the last time you broke a law
yeah i mean i've broken laws.
Yeah, I mean, I've, you know,
gotten a DUI years ago, so that's breaking the law.
That's not a good thing to do.
But yeah, I think that's it, really.
Do you want to answer some questions?
Yeah, I'd love to.
All right, here we go.
Okay, dudes, I got a dilemma.
I need to know ethically what the obligations are and what is at stake.
I was using the Pitzer at the local gym.
I heard an electric trimmer turn on in one of the shower stalls.
I heard the guy groan a couple of times, so I was like,
this chap is manscaping and making a good life decision.
But then it hit me.
I felt a wave of emotions for the poor bloke who had to clean the bathroom
and this chap's ball lettuce. I know Nikki glazer has a bit about this where she talks
about keeping her gym membership just so she can shave in the gym bathroom and not have to clean
it up i'm no saint and i get it it's not fun to clean up testicle floss so i get the efficiency
but we need to look out for our fellow brothers and sisters who have to clean up after us i'm
thinking of the hippocratic oath here first do no harm was this man being ethical and doing harm by making someone else clean up after him i'm not trying to pass judgment
i'm just trying to find the best stance on the issue and how to broach this topic ethically
p.s bequeath oh hell yeah fire a word um so the guy was he was manscaping at the gym yeah this
guy doesn't think it's okay to manscape at the gym because someone has to clean up your shoes.
Yeah, if you're going to do it, clean it up.
That's all I would say.
If you're going to have the gall to do something like that
in a public place, clean it up.
That's disgusting that people would leave their pubes.
Here's what the gyms need to do, guys.
They need to get funnels so your trims can
funnel into, or maybe like a Dyson vacuum with a hose. So, or maybe like a suck cut. Maybe Manscaped
should come out with a suck cut. So it sucks on your pubes and cuts them. So it's like a vacuum.
It's suck cut is from Wayne's World. It sucks your pubes up into a freaking hose. So you're getting that lawnmower trim,
but they're also getting sucked up
into a vacuum bag somewhere.
And Mr. Dyson is going to take them
and make beards out of them.
Sorry, that last part was gross.
For sure.
I would just not shave your pubes at the gym,
but if you do, afterwards clean them up
and tell everybody,
hey guys, just so you know,
I trimmed my pubes and I shaved them sup you legends of stoke i got a question for the pod
and it's pretty important but i have confidence you bros will continue to not disappoint
so i've recently come to the decision that it's not healthy for my dad and his relation if we
spend too much time together aka dwelling in the same domain it's been a decision i fought most of
my life and i finally realized his behaviors and the way he treats me in conjunction with
alcoholism has been destructive. So the best thing for our relation was for me to move out.
Unfortunately, it didn't end well, can read fast. He was constantly criticizing me about my life
and everyone in it and for not having a nine to five job and choosing to quit a job, making pretty
decent money so I could chase my passions and try to have a more happy life and even possibly own my own business or even podcast one day. So the problem I face now is I have to
decide between living at my mom's, which is 45 minutes away from town because she's out on the
sticks or moving in with one of my best friends and his roommates. The thing is there doesn't
seem to be much of a problem except for one thing other than I don't have a job, which isn't
terrible because I've saved up a few thousand and plan to make some investments. They don't,
they just don't keep a clean house. There's trash all over the place from weeks ago.
The bathroom is a nightmare, and there's a mountain of weak old dishes.
I just don't know what to do.
The sitch is really draining my stoke because I'd love to live with one of my day one homies.
We have some pretty stoke times.
We could potentially host some serious parties.
P.S.
Any idea in the dough making department for me dogs would be nothing but encouragement,
not to mention for throwing down a dough party.
Well, we got the basics down, beer music and babes but we really want
to set things off this year so if there's any festive ideas that would be really dope too
don't hold back love you guys dude sorry to hear you going through that situation with your dad
um but i commend you for um deciding that it's time to take action and do what's best for yourself um i would you know i would assess the situation like is moving in with your boys
um it could be fun but it also could be a bad influence if you're trying to stay on like the
right track and you know continue to work hard at whatever you're doing so maybe if if if if you know that you can stay
on track and live with your dogs i think that's a good move or if not live with your mom i think
you know um sort of or be the guy if it's too dirty be the one to set the initiative of hey
guys we're gonna keep this place clean, start cleaning it up, and hopefully they
follow suit.
If no one's willing to keep the place clean, I'd
go live with your mom, because you know that place is going to be
clean. Yeah, but she's
45 minutes outside of town. I think he's going to feel
a little isolated. I agree
with you, though. I think if he
comes over there and he's like, look, I'll be the cleaner guy
of the group, and I'll keep you guys motivated,
you're going to have to hassle people and yeah you're gonna have to want to
take on that responsibility otherwise you're gonna have to burn some calories just be the
change you want to see trying to check them into line but i think it's doable man i would uh yeah
i i don't know enough about it but i would say go live with your buddies but i think it's good
on you for realizing that you and your dad need some space and and uh it's hard to reach any sort of closure
on those issues when you're next to each other all the time so yeah i think getting out of the
house is a good move yeah and just encourage the guys to be clean is the way to go i mean
you want to people over and so people aren't going to want to come over to a
dirty spot yeah make it look good yeah you know the hiring a cleaner uh it sounds like you know
a lot of people are like why would i do that why would i spend that money but if you're living with
a group of dudes if you split it oh yeah it's not much. It could be like $20, $40. Yeah.
Yeah, going on a cleaning service together.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Or have them pay you to clean it too.
Oh, dang.
I love that.
And yeah, in terms of raging, I'd say life is always better on wheels.
So get some roller skates with your dogs.
Host a roller party.
Get a disco ball.
One time I had a roller party and then I went to a bar on my roller skates and I was like,
I was like trying to sneak my way from the bouncer and he saw my roller skates and he's
like, fucking roll on in, dude.
And I was like, that's why life's better on wheels.
Hey, Chad and JT, I love your podcast.
I've currently been on this epic trip the past two months soul searching, getting in
tune with who I am and what I want in life.
Before I left, I made the decision to break up with my boyfriend of one year.
I was torn by the breakup and ended up regretting it, but I decided to keep that to myself.
I really wanted to experience my travels to the fullest rather than get caught up in my
feelings.
As I returned home for the holidays, a few guys from my past have reached out, including
my recent ex, which is really starting to confuse me.
I guess my question is, what do you think I should do?
Let things ride out and see which connection builds the strongest and potentially pursue that?
Or try again at my past relationship?
In my high school years, I found toying with guys entertaining.
However, I really don't want to make this a game.
I know I'm single, but I feel a bit uneasy playing the field again.
I really hope you could give me some male outside perspective on this.
Thanks a ton.
Yeah, I wouldn't toy with dudes.
That's not a good move.
Yeah, don't toy.
Yeah.
We're sensitive.
Yeah.
Just because we have dongs does not mean we don't get our feelings hurt.
Especially Joe.
I mean, Joe, you've got a heart of gold and you got a huge dong
yeah yeah and i get hurt um yeah i don't i don't think i'd go back to your ex just because i think
that would send the wrong message to him yeah um if he's especially if he still holds a torch for
you and uh yeah if you're, if you're just messaging these guys
so they'll message you back
so you can feel a little bit less lonely over the break,
I totally get that.
I think you'll be in good company.
A lot of people do that.
But yeah, the more we can keep that minimized,
probably the better.
I mean, I think best case scenario or best suggestion,
just go hit a bar with two of your friends that you have fun with at night and just have a wild night.
And maybe you'll meet someone there.
And it won't be anyone from your past where there's this attachment, where there's baggage to it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I concur with Jean-Thomas.
Jean Thomas unless you
unless you feel like you made a mistake
breaking it off with your ex BF
and you want to get back
and do the relationship for real
I would stay away from
you know just
because he probably still has feelings so
could be murky waters
and then yeah just get out there and you know
get out into the
world see what's up meet, you know, get out into the world.
See what's up.
Meet people, you know.
Engage in conversation.
Try different pokey places.
You know, not just one.
Try ten.
Yeah.
Try ten pokey places.
That's a good mission.
Yeah.
People should do more missions like that. Like month i'm gonna try you know 10 different
scooter companies yeah i'll find out what's the best cheesesteak in my city yeah yeah that just
fired me up yeah just put yourself towards a fun purpose and and you'll get gains along the way
yeah bros hope everyone is well and getting ready to enjoy a fire thanksgiving with family and
friends my friends and i have a solid group of people that we go out with almost every weekend in the city,
and we all have a great time. This group was forged on the basis of one relationship.
My best bro from growing up brought the dudes to the crew, and his girlfriend from college brought
all the chicks to the crew. I'm pumped. Fast forward a couple of months of everyone getting
to know everyone really well, and I've started to develop some feelings for one of my bro's
girlfriend's best friends.
She's hot and awesome.
And I want nothing more than to take her on a date and get to know each
other better.
However,
one night when we were all out,
I asked my bro's girlfriend if she thought I should ask her,
her friend out.
And she gave me a firm,
no.
Her reasoning was that asking her friend out might make things weird
because if this girl denies me,
it'll make things awkward whenever we're all together.
Whenever we hang out,
we always hit it off, so I'm ready
to make a move, but also nervous because of what my
boys, GF, said. Should I continue
to let things develop organically and just make sure
to chat her up and hope something happens whenever
I see her? Or should I let her know
what I'm feeling and try to show her my
romantic side by setting up a fire date
for the two of us? Sorry for the long question,
but thanks as always to my bros. P.S., saw your
guys' show at Caroline's at Broadway
and you guys were fantastic.
Oh, thank you.
That was cool.
Nice, dude.
I was telling JT
I think the best moment
from that show
was when Joe,
when he held up
your Bud Light.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was pretty cool.
That was badass.
It was like a torch.
Dude, I would just ask her out.
You're going to throw off the vibe.
The only way you'd throw off the vibe is if she said no and then you were like...
If you're super chill about it, if she says no, then it's no issue.
If you're just like, hey, all right, I wish you well.
Yeah, it shouldn't be an issue.
It's not going to be that weird.
Unless that girl knows something that he doesn't.
What young folks do when they're young and they date.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
When I first heard what her friend said, I was like, fuck that.
Quit looking too much into the future.
Yeah, exactly.
Look in the present.
Yeah, it's one thing if she says, no, she's not interested in you.
But if you're just afraid that it would throw the vibe. If she doesn't have any knowledge of whether she's into him or not, exactly. Look in the present. Yeah, it's one thing if she says, no, she's not interested in you. But if you're just afraid that it would throw the vibe.
If she doesn't have any knowledge of whether she's into him or not, then if he's really into her, then he should go for it.
Yeah, she needs to be more optimistic.
Like, you know what else would be awkward?
If you guys are so in love that you're lovey-dovey all the time.
Oh.
And that's thrown off the vibe.
And that is highly, potentially possible.
I think you guys are going to move to Culver City.
Yes.
You're going to be the next dude there.
Dude number two.
Dude, Chad needs a buddy in Culver.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I want you to ask this girl out and move to Culver so I can hang with someone.
Hey, anybody want to go cruise down Overland Avenue?
Because it's hard to take a La Cienega every day to kick it with JT and Joe.
Yeah, La Cienega's murder.
It's a good street, though. Yeah, what are some other streets
you really respect?
Willoughby. It's a big one.
Why Willoughby?
Because it just gets you through town
and there's lights and it's a side street.
Sweetser? Rosewood.
Yeah, Rosewood's nice. Yeah, Sweetser.
Yeah. I really love rosewood though i
gotta be honest stanley because it's it takes you to errol yeah yeah so so sometimes it's about
what's on the street and sometimes it's just about the street yeah and just uh the way it goes
through the neighborhood and of course third street They got some great stuff past La Brea
where you cut down and they got those trees
that hang over the roads.
I don't go that far east.
Are they on Sycamore?
Yeah, I'm not into that.
That's too far for you?
Yeah.
What is that, about a mile?
A mile and a half, probably.
What up, Bro Council?
Huge fan of the pod.
I write to you today with a heavy heart. I recently struck up a relationship with the sweetest guy in the world. He's smart, good looking, And a mile and a half, probably. on top of his dome. What up, Strider? It's not super noticeable, but I know he's aware of it
because he always wears hats.
JT, I know you mentioned
taking something for premature baldness
in an earlier episode.
And I feel this could be beneficial
for him as well.
How do I bring it up
without hurting his feelings
and lessening his stoke?
Do I even bring it up at all?
Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi's stoke.
You're my only hope.
P.S. You two will always be
my number one dudes.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Look, I think you can just
bring it up to him but yeah just talk about what he decides to do about it it's his dome yeah so
if it's something that you're that like really becomes a breaking up point that's so tough you
never want to break up with someone over something like that yeah it just makes you feel it's not
wrong to bring it makes you feel bad but yeah bring it up and see how he feels. I mean, yeah, I take Propecia.
Yeah.
Yeah, be gentle.
But, yeah.
I just would like to say I'm not taking anything for my thinning hair.
And if somebody asks me to do it, I'll say no.
Why?
Because I don't freaking want to.
That's why. I think that's great't freaking want to. That's why.
I think that's great.
You just believe in God's process.
Yeah.
Plus, I don't think I would go all the way bald anyway.
Because no men in my family have.
We just have thinning hairlines.
Respect.
Or it'd be cool to be the first true bald guy.
I'll be that, Maurice. You'd the first true bald guy. I'll be that, Maurice.
You'd be a great bald guy.
I like that.
Would you tell your, if your girlfriend was going bald, would you tell her to get on something?
No.
That's nice.
You might say something?
That's a very rare scenario.
So that's kind of a bullshit hypothetical scenario that you made up that doesn't really
happen that's true so what up chieftains of stoke i've recently started working in a mall
there is this cute girl who works at another store in the mall who's coming to my store a
couple times handing out flyers and such we had brief convos both times but all my co-workers
say she seems into me i want to go in to talk to her some more,
but she works in a store that sells primarily prom dresses.
How should I approach this, Sitch?
Thanks for keeping me safe 24-7.
Much love, Disciple of Stoke.
You go into there.
You say, hey, can you help me find a dress?
And she goes, who's the dress for?
And you go, it's for you.
Wow, that's a great line.
Damn.
I have nothing else to add.
That was perfect.
She gets the dress.
You take her on a nice dinner that's on a boat.
That's on a boat that's on the river or lake or the ocean.
But it's one of those boats that they do dinners on.
It's not really for actually taking her into the sea.
And you do it up.
John Tucker must die, dude.
Wear a suit.
Wear velvet.
Sing to her. Grab a rose that they're selling
pay for the rose
give her that rose
then you grab another rose
and you start singing into it
you sing Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish
I'm obsessed
show her a video of you spearfishing
that'll turn her on
yeah Hawaiian slang
spearfishing
I'm trying to get a video right now so I can turn my girlfriend on with it That'll turn her on. Yeah, Hawaiian slang. Spear fishing. Yeah.
I'm trying to get a video right now so I can turn my girlfriend on with it.
I'll get there.
What up, Stoke Nation?
I just want to say that I'm one of your biggest fans,
and I've shared so many laughs with the squad because of you guys.
And personally, I think Strider's not only the funniest guy in your squad, but one of the funniest guys ever.
No disrespect to Chad and JT.
Love you guys.
No, it's true. It hurts, though hurts though yeah he's a funny guy man he's always giving the best relationship
advice and is super funny and seems like a solid dude but i'm not sure he's telling the complete
truth he's always talking about his girlfriend but has actually but has anyone actually seen
his gf or if he has a gf no disrespect to him but i'm really just yeah we get this a lot he just doesn't she doesn't want to be in stuff yeah we know her and he respects her decision
and i know her name she's very cool yeah we can't say it yeah she's super cool she doesn't want to
be an internet in the internet sphere so which is part of what makes her cool yeah different strokes
i know so many people want to see her but then with like
don't you think it's cooler the mystery guys yeah because then i think it allows everybody
to project on to it they project their girlfriend yeah you know
yeah but she's great and her and strider are so cute together when she comes home sometimes
we'll be like watching football he's like like, oh, dude, come on.
I need Williams to get a tutty right here.
And then she'll come through the door and he goes,
what the cute?
Why are you so fucking cute?
It's very sweet.
That's awesome.
And maybe one day she will make an appearance.
What up, dudes of Dangtown?
I'm majorly confused and need some clear-headed advice
not to be a total bummer but let's get right to it my wife recently passed away i am 30 and have
two kids under five years old i'm so sorry oh man i could rant all day about how complicated and
scary my life has become but that is not why i'm writing in not to be crude but i want to bone
i have no interest in dating i just want to unleash the dragon i am attractive well off and
have a great personality i'm told great formula for hookups right problem is i have no interest in dating. I just want to unleash the dragon. I am attractive well off and have a great personality, I'm told.
Great formula for hookups, right?
Problem is I have not been in the hookup scene since like
09. The game has changed. I have no clue
what I'm doing out there. I feel I must
point out some additional variables working against me.
I can have family take the kids for
a night if needed, but anybody I bring back
in my castle would immediately know I have
kids and that I am a widow. Our family pictures
appropriately are everywhere.
And unfortunately my main chariot is a minivan.
It seems silly to say,
tell a date,
let's go back to your place when I'm 30 and own a home.
But I would think it would be a major turnoff to see pictures of my deceased
wife everywhere.
I'm sure this sounds like expert,
uh,
level stuff.
That's why I'm hitting you up.
That's very nice,
man.
Please,
if you could help me navigate my current situation,
give me some pointers on hookup,
short-term dating. That would be majorly appreciated i don't i don't know how
to help this man um dude i know for me that it's really hard for me to uh just try and have sex
with people when there's not a bit more to it i kind of have intimacy issues and like for me to
get fully torqued,
I kind of have to have trust with the other person.
So, and when I didn't have that,
I'd have to take like dick pills to help me do it,
which helped a lot,
but then it made me feel like
I was having a heart attack later.
So I'm kind of a scattered person to ask about this.
But I would say that it's totally okay
to tell someone that you have kids and it's okay to tell someone that you're a widow. And it's even okay to tell someone that you have kids.
And it's okay to tell someone that you're a widow.
And it's even okay to tell someone that you're just looking for a physical relationship. Yeah, if you go out with someone, just tell them what your situation is.
So then if you do go back to your place, then it's not weird.
It's not, I guess, yeah.
And I feel like...
Just be honest would be the only way to go in that kind of situation.
And I feel like there's a fear of judgment here. Yeah, yeah yeah but i think that's probably more a fear of talking about this stuff
like maybe he doesn't want someone to like see the photos and then ask him a bunch of questions
yeah well yeah it's the judgment thing and then yeah and then it's hard to it's hard to talk about
which i totally get and uh you know kudos to you for reaching out.
But I would also say I would pursue dating.
Just go on the apps.
We can message you on Instagram,
and we can talk about it because it's fun to talk about.
That stuff makes it easier to keep trying it.
Yeah, do the apps.
And then just, yeah, go on some dates.
This doesn't sound like you're able to go out because you've got the kids, so just...
And then maybe be careful about bringing someone back in front of the kids
because i know they're super sensitive and it can be a little destabilizing to them if if if it seems
like there's a chaotic romance going on around just don't go to your place say we got to go to
your place yeah or get a hotel for the night but dude you got some good assets and dude i don't know a lot of people i
think are gonna like that you have kids yeah i i don't think you should worry too much about it um
you know uh you got a lot going for you it sounds like and uh i i don't think it's you know i i think
you might be too worried about the outcome you you know, just go with the flow.
And yeah, sorry to hear you're in that situation, man.
But, you know, I think you'll see a lot of success in this future endeavor because you sound like a great guy.
So just put yourself out there.
Don't worry too much about the outcome or what they'll think.
And I know you'll find some nice ladies who will take good care of you.
Yeah, you're going to be good, dude.
Sir Chad and Dearest JT, my squad has a problem in a major way.
We have a major schmole, and our best efforts to poke him have failed.
He's definitely no fun.
He doesn't rage, and he ultimately kills the morale of the squad.
This schmole, let's call him Grant K for simplicity, acts like a fail. He's definitely no fun. He doesn't rage and he ultimately kills the morale of the squad. This schmole,
let's call him Grant K
for simplicity,
acts like a parrot.
He sits on your shoulder
and regurgitates
whatever the last phrase
to exit your mouth was.
I'm starting to think
he's incapable
of thinking for himself.
All in all,
he's just a major bummer.
Our grievances are against
Grant K or as such.
He always has to be
a part of group chats.
Everyone knows
you're either added voluntarily
by those already
as a part of the chat
or you remain outside.
Asking to be in is uncalled for.
He has memorized some of the class schedules of the
squad and knows where to find us for lunch and hanging out.
He waits in my dorm alone
until I get back. Sometimes after class
all I want is some peace or quiet or to have a wank
and Grant K's presence prevents that.
I once
drunkly called him a schmoll to his face and all he did
was give a thumbs up
well that's pretty nice
we tried telling him we want to bone his sister to scare him off
even though she isn't even hot
and he encourages us all to get with her
nice
I've tried to talk with the other boys in the squad
talk to Grant K himself and even ask my mom for help
nothing has worked
the boys and I have decided to go nuclear with the boaking of them. We've done
everything but file a restraining order.
We need advice. Please, Chet and JT, you're our only
hope. So they want to do
the full-on boke.
But you know what, dude?
I would say
this schmole sounds
like he's...
You're letting him
affect your life a lot but i think the key with a schmole situation
is if you are successful in boking him will you be that happy you know is this schmole bringing
something to the table that you're not even aware of is he keeping everything in tune? Perhaps, you know, is he helping the other people in your squad bond?
Because you can all talk about how much of a schmole he is, you know?
How much he likes cargo shorts.
So maybe instead of going through with the full boat,
maybe just try and shift the mindset a little bit and be like,
you know what, this schmole is essential to the squad.
Yeah, all the things the schmole have done aren't inherently bad.
He's not taking on an alpha position where he's barging in
or dominating conversation.
He seems like he's trying to be cool cool and he's just not quite getting there.
Yeah.
But someone like that with earnest intentions and a good heart, I think you got to give
him, you got to give him a pass.
Yeah.
And dude, he could get cooler.
Kevin's our schmole.
And Kevin's an alpha schmole.
Yeah.
He goes from alpha to sensitive.
Yeah. Like that. schmall and kevin's an alpha schmall yeah he goes from alpha to sensitive yeah like that he keeps the the squad in sync oh he's vital you ready yeah for your beaver
chad yeah what is your beef of the week my beef of the week is with dust
fuck particulates dude yeah, freaking particulates.
I didn't know that word, but now I do.
And now I can use it in my beef.
Particulates and dust.
You're about to get Swiffered, all right?
I'm sick of dust.
Why does dust exist, you know?
It's like I was moving out of my old apartment,
and it's just dust everywhere.
And I was like, I'm wearing a Natty Light shirt, just living it up.
And not feeling, and now I've got dust all over it.
And I'm like, now I have to change.
Now I have to hit the steam room again to detoxify.
And I just want to say dust, like, fuck you.
Nice.
I hate it, too.
Joe, what's your beef of the week?
I would have to say my singing voice, or lack thereof.
I've been liking doing karaoke lately, but it's just not working out because I really can't sing.
I don't have any, can't hit the notes.
And it's a little disappointing, but I'm going to keep trying.
Hell yeah, man.
You know, I just, maybe I just need to put a little more heart and soul into it.
I think you have all the components needed to be a good singer.
Thanks.
My beef of the week is I got two.
I got E from Entourage.
Nice.
Thank you.
Some people don't get it that he's the schmole of the group.
It's like, yeah, he's making more bread than turtle and drama.
And, yeah, he's not as goofy as them.
But he's also the one who's always bringing
up bummer of stuff when everybody's vibing he's always the one who's on a different wavelength
yeah and that's why he's the schmole because that's the vibe no i don't think so no way dude
it's e all day yeah i think he's the schmole and dude then my other beef of the week is with me
because uh when people have been asking me How many listens the podcast gets
I've been juicing the numbers
When I talk to friends
It's like I knew I was doing it
But I didn't even realize I was doing it
Until I was driving in the car looking out the window
And I just go
I've been juicing the stats
Yeah, thanks for coming clean
Thanks Raphael Palmeiro Yeah, thanks for coming clean.
Thanks, Rafael Palmeiro.
Dude, I like that you're juicing the stats, actually.
You do?
Because I think you're visualizing this show.
Yeah.
I used to say I'll tell someone a lie if I feel like I can make that lie come truth and if the lie is going to put pressure on me to make it come true.
Like I got this job.
Well, you better get that job now or you're going to be really embarrassed.
But it reminded me of a scene in Love and Other Drugs with Jake Gyllenhaal
where he's talking to his mom on the phone.
He's like, Mom, I sold 8,000 cartons of Viagra.
He's like the Viagra salesman in it.
And then Anne Hathaway's like, I thought you told me you sold 5,000.
And he was like, yeah.
And she's like, did you lie to your mom?
He's like, yeah, it just sounds better.
He's like, do you lie to me because it sounds better?
He's like, I don't know.
She's like, do you like yourself?
And he's like, what?
Why are we even talking about it?
She's like, say five good things about yourself.
And he can't do it.
Wow.
It's a good scene.
It is weird when people ask if you like yourself.
You're like, I think so.
Right, it's kind of an abstract concept. no you do for sure no i know i do
i like joe yeah chad who is your babe of the week uh my babe of the week has gotta be
uh my babe of the week has gotta be
Aunt Jemima dude sometimes I have cheat days stokers and I indulge in the carbs and Aunt Jemima always comes through in the clutch with fire syrup and I just want to say what up thank you
for making the best syrup um you know I'm sure some Vermont people are going to come in hot like
that's not the best syrup.
I'm like, well, it is to me right now.
But if you're, if you want to send me some syrup or send some brand names my way, I'll
check them out.
But for now, Aunt Jemima tops the list and I got to give it up to her for, you know,
making those waffles, making my Mickey waffles extra dank, um, you know, helping me Lego
my Eggo, um um and just syrup you know i want to
involve syrup and coital engagements too and by that i mean boning
i think syrup makes me horny so that's awesome joe who's your babe of the week
that's awesome joe who's your babe of the week uh my babe of the week i would say would be my uh i'd say my hairstylist uh chloe nice um just saw her today and i gave her a little christmas bonus
too i paid her double what i usually pay her nice felt good to do that you know i just wanted to
reward a job well done i
think she's been cutting my hair for like three years and before her i was like you know i'd get
a haircut i'd be like well it's it's short so it's fine but now i'm like man i got i got some style
you know she knows what she's doing. So many different numbers on the clipper and the blend.
It's not just two and then cut it.
She does all these different things.
She's constantly changing the setting.
She really works at it, and I appreciate it.
She's very good.
That's fire, dog.
My baby of the week is young val kilmer nice i mean if you look
at him in his prime you can argue he's on the same handsome level as brad pitt which seems like a
crazy thing to say but it's not he was that good looking and he was also a killer actor tombstone
is doc holiday has there ever been a cooler character? He drills every fucking line.
Heat?
Heat. Has anyone ever looked more
competent with a machine gun in a film than Val
Kilmer when he comes out of the bank? He does not hesitate.
And then he's this gambling
crazy man,
but then he can't let go of his lady.
He loves her too much. De Niro's
character, McCullough, is like, hey, you gotta
not have anything in your life that you cannot
cut and run from in 60 seconds. If you feel the heat
coming around the corner, he goes, I can't do it.
She's got a great ass.
My son rises and falls there. She got a great
ass! And you got your
head all the way up it!
And then also Val Kilmer in The Saint.
That's the one that no one talks about.
Oh yeah, I saw that movie in theaters. I saw it in theaters too, baby. And dude, that's the one that no one talks about yeah i mean i saw that
movie in theaters i saw it at theaters too baby and dude that's a movie it's a movie star movie
he just has to pretend that he's different saints throughout history and he does that to seduce
people elizabeth's shoe yeah i love any movie where someone is seducing someone else for
information that's erotic stuff that's what i'm into and uh yeah, Val Kilmer was so good in The Saint.
I totally forgot what that movie was about.
It's about cold fusion.
I'd like to watch it again.
Free energy.
And yeah, Val Kilmer, you're one of the greatest ever, man.
The Iceman.
And then the Iceman.
Can they hear that at home, the chomp I'm doing right there?
Yeah, I could hear it.
Is that Aaron's?
Yeah, that's mine. mine dude yours was amazing solid
yeah i almost dude i almost cracked my tooth trying to do that you got jack dempsey job
beast that was awesome chad who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is uh mike myers
uh i um i was crushing austin powers recently because it's on Netflix now.
And I loved that movie as a kid.
I can't tell, you know, I don't know if I watched Austin Powers more as a kid or old school,
but it's in the top two, and it's just so good.
And then Elizabeth Hurley and stuff, and then Wayne's World.
You know, just those two bangers really just uplift
my spirits and get me fired up so thank you Mike Myers for creating two uh would you call them both
franchises yep yeah two franchises that really you know um get me fired up and get me stoked and
and just keep the laughs coming you know because, because even today, they hold up.
I still laugh, you know,
and movies that can still make me laugh out loud for a long time,
I got to give it up to them,
and I got to give it up to the comedians who made that happen.
So thank you, Mike Myers.
And I saw you in New York one time,
and my friend said, hey, it's Mike Myersers and you look back and you gave a smile and i'll never forget it so what up nice
that's awesome who's your legend joe oh my legend is uh my grandma she's she turned 92 last week and
i gave her a call and you know at the end of the call, I said, I love you, Grandma.
And she said, thank you.
She's earned that.
Thank you.
I think.
Because, like, yeah, she never, like, would say I love you.
But she did all the cooking and the cleaning and taking care of us when we were kids.
all the cooking and the cleaning and taking care of us when we were kids.
She's like, yeah, you better love me because I've shown you nothing but love over the years.
That's fine.
She doesn't need to say it.
She's shown it.
I think that's what she means by thank you.
That's awesome.
She's earned that.
Sometimes you can say thank you if people say I love you. People take that as an insult.
But no, some people
are like, yeah.
I've earned that for you to say
that to me.
Thank you.
That's nice.
Yeah. My legend of the week
is Coach O from LSU.
Coach Ed Ogeron.
Yeah, that's cool.
One of the best coaches in the class of football.
Every time they go out there, we're going to put up 45 points.
We're going to beat the fuck out of that other team.
They're going to go home with the tail between their legs,
and we're going to go home and booze a bunch and motherfucking party it up
because we're the best goddamn motherfucking football team in this country.
That's Coach O, baby.
No bullshit.
Yeah, he's cool.
And I never thought he'd be a head coach.
I always thought he was going to be a DC, who's a great recruiter.
I didn't think he'd get the job to lead a top 10 program, but he got the interim job,
and he kept it.
He wouldn't let him take it from him.
Once he got his opportunity, he held on to that thing.
I know he'd been a head coach before.
I just meant again.
And I just love his attitude.
I love his energy.
I had a friend who worked with him at USC and said he came into the training room one
time, and he saw players doing homework.
He said, what the fuck are you pussies doing homework for?
This is a football place.
We play football here.
And that's why he's the best recruiter, because he's going to come over to your house and be like,
hey, here's what's going to happen.
You ain't going to do a lick of homework.
You're going to play football, and I'm going to put you in the motherfucking NFL.
You're going to have posters all over this fucking house.
I'm Coach O.
I love that.
I love that.
Because they're all, you know,
those college football coaches, come on.
They're all Coach O.
He just has the good attitude to just be it all the time.
Aaron, who is your legend of the week?
You guys fans of the Red Hot Chili Peppers?
Yeah.
We've been talking about them a lot lately.
Oh, dude, I know where you're going.
Yes.
John Frusciciante the guitarist
has rejoined the band it's huge he's been gone for a decade uh they had uh josh klinghoffer
uh who i wasn't as stoked about and now john is back he's there he's been there for their best albums and i'm looking forward to uh you know them
resurging yeah because their last album that like really had a cultural impact was probably stadium
arcadium right and that was the last album that had frusciante on it yeah it was a double album
yeah dude yeah and his guitar is so is so good yeah it's great and he's he's great solo artist
too like he's got some good solo songs.
He's more spacey.
Yeah, but I'm glad he's back in the band. Yeah, they need him.
Always happy to see the Chili Peppers bringing it.
Can't stop
addicted to the shindig.
Chad, what is your quote
of the week? My quote of the week is
from Bad Boys 2.
What is your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is from Bad Boys 2.
Martin Lawrence and Will Smith,
they're in a high-speed chase at this moment right now. They're in Michael Lowry's Ferrari.
It's a dope Ferrari, and it's high speed.
Cars are flying over the road.
There's a boat.
This is Miami.
It's hot, it's sexy, and it's dangerous.
And Martin Lawrence goes, this is some sick shit.
And Mike Lowry, Will Smith goes, yep, it's about to get sicker.
Nice.
So there's embrace the sickness.
Disturbed. Joe, what's your quote of the week uh yeah i'm looking at it for a good one you want me to do mine first
sure go ahead it's from the film wall street it's the speech that uh gordon gecko it's not
a speech what's the conversations gordon gecko's having on his phone when uh charlie sheen bud fox
is coming to the office so he doesn't he's not even paying attention to Bud.
He goes, what's the hell?
What the hell is going on?
I'm looking at a deal.
Are we a part of it?
We'd better be.
I'm going to eat your lunch for you.
Sorry, Jeff.
I loved it at 40.
It's insulting at 50.
Their analysts don't know preferred stock from livestock.
When I head South, we raise the sperm count.
This is the kid who calls me 59 days in a row.
Wants to be a player.
She made a picture of you in the dictionary under persistence i'm looking for negative control no
more than enough to block any merger plans and any and find out if the books are cooked
if it looks good on paper we're in the kill zone lunch lunch is for wimps billy
nice that's for my that's for my finance bros hell yeah i say finance like alec baldwin
and uh royal tenenbaums dank joe what's your quote oh this is pretty neat uh my quote of the week is
snap out of it that's uh from moonstruck the movie great scene i heard that all growing up
and i didn't know that that was from that People would always say snap out of it
Is that where that originated from?
I think people said it before then
But that was an iconic moment
And one of the best movies of all time
Yeah so that's pretty neat
Also in that movie
We're not supposed to be beautiful
Snowflakes are beautiful
We're supposed to be messy
And aggressive
And fuck our lives up.
Who says that, Cher?
Nicolas Cage says it to Cher.
Nice.
That's cool.
Chaz,
what's your phrase of the week
for getting after it?
Let's kick Mr. Clean's ass.
Bar with the bar.
The cleaning guy?
Yeah because
You're gonna rage
So disregard cleanliness
Oh that's neat
Yeah let's make Mr. Clean earn his paycheck
Let Mr. Clean be Mr. Neen
Joe what is your phrase
I'd like to say something holiday related
Given that
We've got all the holidays coming up
Um
I would say
You know
Eat well
Drink Moderately I would say, you know, eat well, drink moderately, and enjoy family and friends.
I don't know.
That was great.
Maybe.
You don't have to say that.
For sure.
I like the intention behind it, though.
Yeah.
Couldn't think of an exact.
behind it yeah couldn't think of an exact my phrase of the week is a slight uh twist on a lil wayne lyric from the song mona lisa hey baby treat my halo like a frisbee
oh good what does he mean by it well he says he says like he's making fun of a guy who's in love
with a girl that he's been sleeping with.
And he's like, oh, you worship her like she's an angel.
I treat her halo like a frisbee.
And I think it means I'm very casual about the perceived goodness.
And frisbees are for people to catch.
So I throw it and she catches it.
Yeah, so she's playing my game.
It's a lot of imagery into a really kind of rude thing to say.
Yeah.
But it's powerfully,
it's powerful poetically.
It's pretty deep.
So I try to spin it a little bit to take away some of that burn
and just put the burn on me.
Nice.
Yeah.
I dig it.
Yeah, it's cool.
I dig you guys digging it.
Well, that was fun.
That was fun.
We'll be back tomorrow.
Yeah, we'll be back.
Joe, it was great having you back.
Yeah, thanks for having me on again. I guess you guys
wanted the podcast to be entertaining again.
Sorry, just took a shot there.
No, I appreciate it.
People are going to be psyched, dude. Nice, yeah.
I'll be good. All 200,000
of our listeners. Yeah.
Shout out to Tad Rams
for calling in.
Check him out, OfficialMollyBro on Instagram
and check out OfficialMollyBro
on YouTube.
Aaron, thanks for
being the engineer.
Yeah, man. Are we going to see you tomorrow?
No, it'll be Emma tomorrow. Damn it.
Damn, dude. I'll be at Disneyland. We had a gift for you.
Oh, nice. Yeah, we have a gift for you, dude.
I'll be here Thursday if you want to just leave it with Emma.
I can bring it to him on Thursday.
Yeah.
Would that be rude to Emma?
I don't have a gift for Emma.
We're going to get Emma something, too.
Okay.
We do have a gift for Emma.
Yeah, I feel.
Oh, yeah, we do have a gift for Emma.
I forgot.
Yeah, it's not a big deal.
Just a Porsche. Oh, shit. We'll wait till you see your gift aaron
oh we got you something better than a porsche see now we have to make it come true yeah now
we have to get him a hummer now we're in a movie and the rest of our day is spent trying to get
these things until one of us gets seduced by Rene Russo.
She's like, give me both the cars.
And I'm like, whoa, mama.
Mama, mama, mama.
All right.
All right.
We'll see you later, dudes.
That was fun.
That was fun.
Yeah, it was good, man.
If you need advice These guys are really nice
You wanna know
What to do
Where to go
When you need someone to guide you
There's a half from those beside you.
Go in the deep.
Go in the deep.
Let's go deep.
Go in deep.
Go in deep.