Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 122 - Strider and Marrese

Episode Date: March 25, 2020

What up Stokers! We got the legends, Strider and Uncle Joe on. We talk about all the usual stuff, dongs, bros, and dudes. Stay stoked no matter what.Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion.

It's a lunch bag. Lunch bag. Going deep. Chad and JT. Down it. Oh, daddy. What's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger

coming in with the Going Deep with Chad and JT podcast. Guys, before we begin, I want to remind you once again that we are brought to you by Mansca manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean because guys we talk about maintenance whether it be with a car, your body, your freaking carpet. But Manscaped is bringing maintenance for your dong out into the public sphere. They're bringing it into the zeitgeist, and they want you guys to make your carpet really match your pubes in terms of cleanliness.

When you take a freaking Hoover to that carpet, they want you to take a Lawnmower 3.0 to that carpet of your dong. So, yeah. You guys been manscaping? Yeah, I keep up with it. Yeah, it was just my GF and I's anniversary, so I definitely did a little trimming. To prepare?

Yeah, just wanted to be nice and fresh, you know what I mean? Yeah. Because you never know what's going to happen. I mean, I know exactly what's going to happen. We're pretty dialed in, dude. We know what makes each other tick. So, really want to make sure we hit those buttons. Just really want to go the extra mile. Yeah, it can be a whole lot of mysteries still.

I mean, you know, you try to keep it fresh as best you can. I mean, basically, I guess the mystery would be like, you know, what hotel are we in? Or, you know, how's dinner going to settle with me? And how's that going to play into the night? Like pesto or marinara. Exactly. It's two dank sauces, but which one am I going to go with?

Did you have some tricks up your sleeve always do why would I steer clear of of course you have your closing act you have your grand slam you have the dart but leading up to that there's a few mystery things you're going to do and I don't want to get too crude

we're at the top of the pod I love that what's the most perverted thought you know um so i love that what's the most perverted thought you've ever had dang dude that's a great question dude probably like um you know just selfishly just like selfishly being the king of some moon world um you know like from a boris vallejo drawing something like that if you're familiar with his artwork it's erotic it's fantastic there's you know i'd probably have some reptilian beasts that would you know they'd understand me telepathically any man who challenged any in my will in any way would be devoured by

them immediately and then um all of the uh everyone would be there to please me i'd be the master of that world and people would laugh at my jokes um you're a sick they'd be a hit so yeah that's nasty that's pretty perverted yeah everyone would be dressed like conan barbarian style what's your most perverted thought you've ever had uh i'm just uh just like slapping tits around like slapping them or like what do you mean i don't know just like on a treadmill and i don't know oh i see like man shows type stuff like bouncing on a trampoline some some boobies yeah that yeah that works nice what's the most perverted thought you've ever had um fuck i don't know know probably just like hardcore anal yeah nice whoa nice good stuff yeah good stuff right down

the middle that's what we call a strike yeah i just want to keep it simple because you know that's what i'm saying what's yours probably like some like old guy like drilling my girlfriend in front of me. What? By the way, on my moon world, I'm very old. I'm a very decrepit, very old ruler. Cronus style, just not letting go of the throne. Who's Cronus? Is that Zeus' dad?

That's Zeus' dad, yeah. And then so he eats Zeus. He eats all of his kids. No, Zeus. Oh, Zeus gets away. He's going to eat Zeus. It's Gaia and Uranus is the sky. Gaia is the earth.

They lay together. They bone a ton, dude. They bone, dude. And then they create the Titans, the giants, the Cyclops, and then one other thing that's a weird Greek name I can't say. Straight up Giannis Antikyptop's hoopos dude those guys just freaking throwing down donks dude that's where he came from dude right um uh and then you know because kronos didn't want to you know with all the greek uh mythological um thematics and stuff it's like not hubris but just not wanting to relinquish power but power's got to be relinquished dude

and you know mother guy doesn't get to treat it right. And then she gets jealous or angry at how her babies treat each other. The guy's always fighting. It's human nature shit, you know what I mean? Right, yeah. But anyway, yeah, he eats his kids and then Zeus takes them out, dude. But not without the help of the Titans and Mother Gaia. Wait, the Titans are on his side?

But then Zeus gets rid of the Titans after that. So then there's a second big-time battle with the Giants. Oh, yeah, the Titans are on his side. But then Zeus gets rid of the Titans after that, so then there's a second big-time battle with the Giants. Oh, baby. Yes, Derrick Henry just running the rock. Remember when his high school stats came out? Yeah, 4,000 yards or something like that. In one game. When you're above 250 pounds and you have a six-pack,

we just don't share much biologically. He does? Yeah. Wow. It's just incredible. I mean, like Aaron Donald, 290 and he has a six pack. How do you do that? Dude.

It's like a refrigerator. I don't want to make this about me, but like I did draft Derrick Henry for like three years in a row, just kind of being like drafting him last at great value more than auction league for like three bucks and just being like is this going to be his breakout year but this year he wasn't on my squad which was his breakout year but i still did take on the championship so it's all right but you know just kind of hurt me a little bit so how did i know it was gonna end there you know sorry ridiculous guys i'm sick yeah we're not on your planet, dude.

Yeah. Where you're blowing loads after people laugh at your one-liners. You sick king creep. Every time I have sex. Dude, creepy. Sorry, go ahead. No, no, no, no. Creepy kings.

Is there anything worse Than a creepy king Like in a movie You know like in Lord of the Rings There's that one king Who like eats with his fingers And is like He gets too much juice

Everywhere And he's like Mordor And they're like You must support us While we fight in Mordor And he's like I will not help anybody

Get away from me And you're like You fucking piece of shit king Don't you care He's doing tons of cruel things like sending his son to his certain death and yeah not feeding the people that are very poor and keeping all the food for himself not good stuff but probably the most evil thing he's doing is just making and i think it might be pippin just sing a solo acapella song with no music

while he eats like just really making him labor through this number, dude. That's a trope in movies. The bad guy who is moved by art. Because that's in Cold Mountain, too. That's always my favorite scene. Oh, great scene. I wish, I wish my baby was born. Yeah, for a great fucking song. Yeah, it's good stuff.

I can't sour apple tree. Joe. What's up, Joe? What's up, Joe? How you living, dude? Pretty good. Buy us a sour apple tree. Joe. What's up, Joe? What's up, Joe? How you living, dude? Pretty good. You've been great. Yeah.

You've got a glow going. Have you been in the sun? I have. I've been in the sun a lot. You've been hiking? Yeah, using some good moisturizer. I've also been shaving every other day, so I'm keeping up with that. Yeah, you called a, what did you call it, beard again?

You called it man makeup? Yeah, I'm just done with the beards it's like you don't need it yeah it's so much more comfortable you got that lantern jaw i i did like you with a beard though yeah i mean it's just you got a good lumberjack too uh itches a lot when i try to sleep got in the way yeah how's life at the comedy store? What's going on? Is there corona fears there? Are people not shaking hands? Well, yeah, not really. Well, some are,

but there's a lot of hand sanitizer dispensers placed throughout the club, and there's instructions on how to wash your hands. That's what we learned today. It stays on surfaces like door handles and stuff for hours. That's why you've got to wash your hands. We've been going to a lot of city council meetings. We've been learning a lot about corona. Yeah, it's like 12 hours or something to live on a surface.

And we've watched the corona conversation evolve. When we were going to a city council meeting a couple weeks ago, there was a member of the armed services who told us not to be worried and that the spread would be basically contained. I might be misrepresenting what he said, but that's what the tone sounded like. And then each week we've gone back, it's gotten progressively more pessimistic about how it's going to go.

We actually, and then we can cut this, but we didn't actually speak at the city council meeting today because it was too serious of subject matter whoa yeah so we had to jet there was racial injustice pandemics what was the other one uh unfair evictions yeah like wow poor folks through crazy loopholes in the law. And then two dudes with floral shirts on ready to talk about buttholes and you know. And it's good stuff we're going to talk about. We really practice and we take it seriously.

It's a great cause. It's good for the community. It promotes wellness. But you know, if that wasn't our audience they wouldn't have been receptive. Maybe you guys would have lightened the mood. Well, I think it would have been fine if we would have gone at the end but we didn't have time because we had to get to the podcast which we were an hour and a half late for so we appreciate you guys being fucking

soldiers speaking of being late like finish your thought up please but then we would have been had we gone earlier we would have been taking spots from somebody talking about that other stuff yeah which might have been a bad look yeah but we thought about it we thought i you know i was because jt was like what's our out time? And I was like, we got to be persistent. We can't, you know, this is our thing. And then it got to a certain point where we started hearing what the people were there to talk about. And we're just like, yeah, let's bounce.

Yeah. Let's get out of here. Yeah. Hasn't happened before. Normally you go to these city council meetings and they're like, oh, mayor, there was a carnival and there was just way too many people and there was no regulation. And one of the donkeys got loose. How can we make sure that that doesn't happen again?

There just can't be donkeys running around Main Street. You're like, all right, well, I can follow this guy. Yeah. And then someone's like, he was the first black fire chief in our city's history. And you guys relocated him without just college. You're like, okay. The guy's like, he has a master's. He has a PhD.

What was the other thing? And that's just his education. This guy. Yeah. Saved lives. And we looked over to JT. He was like, to that guy. He's like, why are you here?

He's like, for this. With so much sincerity in his eyes. Jeez. And I got fired up on it. Yeah, you were clapping it I was clapping like every time a speaker went up this is not right this is unjust this is a good man and you guys

you need to fucking take a look at yourselves and I was like yeah let's go I think it was the best meeting I've ever been to if you stokers want to check it out and get some civic civil service in your bones March 9th, Pasadena. It's a humbigger.

They'll probably see us in the back. Yeah, you'll see us in the back. I'm sorry I'm on my phone a little bit. You were texting us. You were actually probably getting Joe's text because he was on time today. In fact, he was early. You know, I saw his story. Yeah, that was just a joke because I was here early and I knew I was going to be early.

Because I left at 6.30. Just turns a page in the story. I fucked up, dude. You proved me wrong and I fucked up. You know, I'm sorry. It's all right. Dude, I did a karaoke on Friday. I used to be very against karaoke but now i get it what song dude

yeah i did uh i i was i was doing other people's requests and i was backing them up and i made some mistakes because the song i picked i picked rihanna rude boy oh god and i can't sing that high i'm a baritone yeah i was like come on rude boy can you get it up and everyone's like jesus yeah yeah it was bombing. But then we did some belters. We did Papa Roach or something like that. And I brought the fire on that. Yeah, dude.

That's wheelhouse, dude. Material right there. Yeah, that went well. Did you do shallow? I feel like you're born for shallow. Oh, that's what I should have done. Fuck. I've seen people do shallow often.

I've only done karaoke once. I need to get in the game. Yeah. Dude, it is cathartic when you really let it rip it feels good there's been instances like one time i was really hung over and i was with my girlfriend's parents i'm like i can't do like i can't do genuine you're not feeling karaoke oh i do genuine pony that used to be my go-to in front of your girlfriend's parents no depends on my girlfriend's parents but the ones I'm thinking about, no shot. Maybe I need to up my confidence level and just do it.

I think her dad would have, like, ripped off my nuts or something. I don't know why. That's just how I see him reacting. He's an intense guy. Ah! Ha! Everyone respects a committed performance. You commit to genuine my pony, dude.

You start slapping the air, you know, pony that you're riding, slapping its butt, dude. Messing up the course. You're drilling the course but messing up a little bit of the verse. That's where it's at, dude. That's dialed in. Everyone was really cool, but a couple of the white dudes from Orange County who insisted on saying the N-word a lot during their songs. No good.

I was like, do I have to leave the room? I was like, I think I've got to just take a walk. Thank God they got a private room and just locked that yeah yeah it never gets out at least wasn't yikes middle of a bar strider you had an issue with your car but it got fixed i did i and what happened so uh i need this this is gonna tie into my legend of the week okay should we leave it for then but no no we can i can uh i'll i don't want to tease too much but um i thought i was going to have to uh get rid of my car because it overheated my gf and i were going down to san diego wow and uh pulled a miracle move and just saw the little thing um

the little uh heater thing up in the red i'm like what the fuck and it was kind of making i turned down the radio and um kind of uh just heard the car making weird noises and i'm like let's just get off the freeway my just like good call we get off the freeway literally as i'm pulling into a parking spot by echo park stalls left it there for two days wow so let that be the teaser and let there's a hero and dude thank goodness you made it all the way back to echo park so you're still within range like that could have happened in like like, City of Commerce or something. Oh, no, we were going down. We were going down, so we didn't even get out of L.A. Wow.

So it was having an issue. We were going down to San Diego. And this was on the freeway? No, I luckily got off. Oh, okay, okay. So I would have been stalled on the 101. Shh. Damn.

It would have been that guy, dude, with the hazards on in the middle of the lane. People going like this. Driving by. Yeah. Dude, I would have been one of those guys. Oh, I'm always one of those guys oh yeah yeah i love when we walk when you're driving down there's traffic and you finally see that it's an effort an accident you're like do you you got to have an accident right now yeah right there be careful yeah drive better seriously but um

what's going on in your car life what's up dude i dude? I got a new whip. Oh! Hell yeah, dude. I got a new whip. Big news. Yeah. I got a Ford Ranger. Oh! Dude, nice. Staying in the Ford fam.

Black XLT. Oh, dude. Big bed in the back. It's midsize, you know, because we're in SoCal. So I got... You still got a parallel. Is that a four-door? Four-door. Oh, wow. It's that a four-door? Four-door.

Oh, wow. It's about a six-foot-long truck bed. Perfect. Perfect for my board. Perfect for your board. Perfect for fitting your bros because it's got four doors. Dude, I want to get seats in there. That's what they call longboarding.

Dude, I want to get seats in the truck beds for when we go paintballing. We can all roll up in the truck. Oh, my God, dude. We can have lunchtime in your truck? Yeah. Dude, we can get one of those soccer tents that they have at halftime? Yeah. Like erect one of those tents over your truck bed?

Yeah. Oh, I'm fired up immediately for that, dude. Yeah, that's cool. That's nice. I scored a pretty nice lease because my GF's dad manages the dealership. Wow. I got a deal, so I couldn't pass it up. You got to circumvent the whole process of having to negotiate and stuff.

That's nice. Yeah, and he was like, you got to lease. I mean, cars depreciate. I mean, it's a no-brainer. And I was like, I just want a mid-sized truck. And he's like, get the Ranger. I'm like... Do you feel like he hustled you a little bit?

No. Did he hustle you at all? No, not at all. No? Once I saw the lease deal, I was like Do you feel like He hustled you a little bit? No Did he hustle you at all? No not at all No? Once I saw the lease deal I was like Nah I wanted to get a

Toyota Tacoma For a little bit Great track Then I didn't want to get it You like that over the Tundra? Yeah Tundra's too much That's too deep I'm not carrying

Wheelbarrows around You don't want to get The dually wheels on it? Yeah You know when it's got The two wheels in the back no no which one's the

hell of a look though Joe the Tundra's just have like a deep bed dude the new Ben Affleck movie The Way Back it just opens with him as a like a welder

construction worker just doing work with like a saw just melting stuff together that's awesome building America it's great I think every movie

should open that way absolutely I love seeing manual labor and then the camera can just pan away to something else but let's just open on people building it's a guy using his hands we're working with another crew of dudes to get something done yeah kidding me he's good in that movie he plays an alcoholic and that must have been a stretch but yeah there's moments where it doesn't even feel like he's actually just it's like literally like he's breaking the fourth wall he's just staring at the camera he's like i've been drunk before yeah he was good yeah he's he's got the look of an alcoholic too he's fully in the face yeah he's got inflammation inflammation yeah um good man i gotta see it yeah it'll make you

cry yeah it's good did you guys cry yeah you guys went to the 550 yesterday yeah don't cry i cried i had to let it go it was nice yeah i got like six more stories about when i cried i cried podcast i cried at scenes where i wasn't supposed to be crying in because i was ready to cry going into the movie wow i wore my glasses just no i'm not wearing my contacts i'm gonna put my eyes through this let's Yeah. There was times we were all crying at the same time. Yeah. We all. There was like six of us. The whole theater?

Probably, but I just mean the six people in our row, our homies. I cried at a moment, and a little bit of a spoiler alert, but not bad, but Affleck houses a 30 rack on his own in that movie, and it was nice to see. That's awesome. It's gonna be a crime. High life. Yeah, that fires me up. It was nice.

It was nice. What did he, Keystone, Bud Light? Dude, you know what? I feel like for legal purposes, that fires me up. It was nice. It was nice. What do you, Keystone, Budweiser? Dude, you know what? I feel like for legal purposes, they invented a beer. They had just some random. Oh, really? It was like Budweiser adjacent. Yeah.

It was just like a dark kind of rusted red. Maybe the rusted red was supposed to represent the rest of his soul. Oh, dude. From a lack of nurturing. Get the picture that he housed at the 30 by himself. It's like in the first 10 minutes, he just goes beer by beer, bro. Bro, he's drinking them in the shower, dude. I was laughing because he just drinks the beer straight up.

And I was like, dude, if I would have directed this movie, he'd beer bong each beer. You know, pour it in. He'd have like a system to do it at home. It'd be amazing. It'd be like perched up somewhere one of those like casper contraptions from that movie like the thing that gets them ready in the morning and shit you know when other people find out they're like i found your beer bong on the back of your car yeah yeah honey what's this oh you wore a beer helmet to practice the other day

we're chugging beers you're doing a four hose beer bubble honey what's this that's the uh it's my mount chug mold yeah it's a four promise a four stop beer he's taking a wizard stick on the road trip dude just hanging out he's playing you remember the bat spin game where you get like a plastic bat you fill it with beer oh and then you for how many seconds you have to spin around in circles like it takes you 11 seconds to chug you spin around 11 times and then you have to hit the beer can with the bat there's so much fun you get a pitch i never played that it's really tough dude we used to play this game called whichever one probably heard of slosh ball but it's softball. And you put a keg at second base.

And so you can't really hit a home run, or you can if you hit it super, super fucking far, if you're like Joe. But you have to finish a beer at the second base mark before you can go home. It's pretty sick. Oh, no. I never played that. Gets you pretty schwasty. And then before you hit, you got to do the little twist before you go up to bat. That's pretty fun, dude. Nice.

Just get schwasty. How do we feel about the stock market taking a nosedive today? It's time to invest. Dude, remember, look. Every downswing's ended in an upswing. I like where you guys are at, dude. You're not pulling out your money today. It's going to even out over time. You're laissez-faire, dude. It's time to put money in. My boy Adam Smith. That's right. Hey, if you're

not one of the big major players, now's the time you scoop up some deals. Go down there and you scoop them up some deals. Yeah, a friend of mine, he had in his story, it was a Warren Buffay quote, and he said, be fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful.

It's a good call. It's a good call. So Daddy's going to invest some large mutual funds i don't know if large is a word you describe fun with but you know that is gonna get in there when it's in deep black dude that's one of my things with the coronavirus i'm like it really reveals to me what a child i am i'm like can't anyone just fix this thing i'm like no one can like because everyone the language people are using right now is they're like they're like it's not if it's when.

And there's kind of like a resigned fate that like this is going to spread and that it's going to go beyond what we ever experienced. And I'm just not comfortable with that. I'm like, no, like, fix it, dudes. Yeah, it's scary. Like, stop it. I'm very optimistic about the warm weather, spring coming in, viruses hate the, the you know once summer comes around i mean summer kills the flu pretty much yeah and uh so it's probably gonna be you know not a fun month but you know i'm optimistic but my mom was on that cruise ship she was on that cruise she's on

that cruise the one that's like in oakland that's on the front page of every newspaper. What the hell? How'd she get off? How'd she get off? She's on the cruise beforehand. Oh, dang. But that was the one. Okay, so she's on the Grand Princess cruise ship. And it went from February 21st to like March 3rd or something. No. February 10th to like March, February 21st.

The other one left on like the 22nd. to like March, February 21st. The other one left on like the 22nd. And there's a lot of negligence going on on their part because they didn't tell any of the passengers on board that a guy was on there who had symptoms. So they all left the cruise ship without any idea. And then this guy, he got off the ship. He was diagnosed coronavirus.

He died. He was like 71. Wow. Rest like 71 and i think i think if brother i think a few other people got it i'll check to see if i can talk about this but my sister so my sister went with them and her two daughters were with her and so they're in school right and one of them had like sniffles which like i don't think that's really one of the symptoms, but you know, it's a symptom of something. Yeah.

So they shut the school down for two days. Whoa. I like that reaction. Yeah. I like it. I know it's alarmist and I'm a psycho and I'm just like, the whole fucking building's falling apart.

Yeah. Like way before it is, but like, I don't know. I like being preemptive. Well, did they all get tested for it your mom and uh i think my niece did today um and that's another thing too the cdc like they're unable to get tests to people in in due time the demand is too uh it's

too crazy yeah how old's your niece if you don't mind me asking? She's like four or five. So she's young. That's the thing, dude, is like, you know, being strapping young, healthy dudes, you don't think about it too much or like you don't get worried. But like, you know, old people and people that we know or grandmas and young kids are vulnerable. And a lot of people can get symptoms. We could have it and not have any symptoms, but pass it on. Right.

Yeah. So it's like a flu scenario. Like a lot of people, and I found this out the hard way because i did get the flu because i had hubris and thought oh it'll never happen to me and then i got it but a part of the reason you get why did you think it would never yeah what the hell you think that yeah what's that about on my on my moon planet there is no disease there is no negative emotions there is only reptilian i'm cold-blooded creature you would suck the blood out of one of your uh yes yes yes one of your legions yeah one of your servants

correct exactly right i would use that blood would fulfill me that would be young again but uh yeah i don't know i was literally remiss and dumb and learn the hard way but you uh get that shot so you don't spread the virus to other people, you know, when you're young and healthy. How did you get? Sorry. Well, that's, I was, I had the intention of getting the shot and it was up till like January. Then I got the flu hardcore. Yeah, bro.

Yeah. You just can't put these things off. Yeah, you gotta get the flu. It took a coordinated effort from everyone at the office to be like chad you must rest in october you came in and we all like slid two feet back yeah we're like how do you feel you're like i feel perfect yeah my bad dudes i wasn't that well versed with the flu yeah but i can sure if i get the corona i'll try not to come into work what were you gonna say joe corona i'll try not to come into work what are you gonna say joe uh i don't know some of what i was just saying you got to get the flu shot in like october you know what happens sometimes

is you have the thought but then it takes blood to have thoughts and all that blood's got to go down to your hog yeah to keep that guy yes you know what i mean wow yeah yeah good call so i think you lose more thoughts than other people because the thought blood can't be up there for too long. Do you get lightheaded like every two minutes? If you get a bug. If you get a bug. You get that big hog, dude.

If you get torqued up too fast when you pass out. Yeah. Yeah, like you're like on Cialis all the time, you know? Yeah, but it's natural Cialis. Yeah. Does your hog have the natural vibrating hum of a large cruise ship? Oh, that's nice. That'd be sick. It's got the horn, just knowing that this is a machine.

Yeah, it does make a sound. Dude, when you pull out your hog, do two other bros with smaller hogs have to tugboat your hog out, dude, before you're about to go and just nudge your hog in the right direction to get it into court. Two crusty old bros that have seen it all. Yeah.

They're little old crusty dongs. Dude, think about we've been doing this job for years. Oh, here we are again. All right. Joe's hog. Yeah, Joe's hog. Let's get it where it's got to go. Did you see the Marlins yesterday?

Those guys never going to get it together. Strut. How'd you get past your tummy eggs that you would get i remember you were getting tummy aches for like three straight years every time you ate anything dude i know you know sometimes i'll still get weird stomach sometimes i'll still get weird stomach issues but you know what i've started doing was uh drinking a lot of like probiotic uh stuff like uh and i don't have it every day kombucha but like yeah some kombucha some covitas which is like a more sugar kombucha, a little sweeter, not as gnarly.

But yeah, I was having a lot of problems. And honestly, dude, I was being dumb. Like I would drink cold brew on an empty stomach. Stupid. Yeah. Yeah. Mad man, dude. Stupid.

Then, you know, at valet, like I'd go house. Like sometimes the food at the hotel would be good, but sometimes it wasn't that great. And like I'd pound a meal real quick and then go just run around. I was just kind of being dumb and eating that wrong. You're eating a lot of acidic foods. You're going to have some reflux. Yes, I really would, yeah. Sorry, I was going to say I've crapped my pants four times over the course of eight years at ballet.

Hell yeah, dude. That's awesome. So why do you crap your pants so much? times uh over the course of eight years at ballet hell yeah dude that's awesome so what what uh why do you crap your pants so much bro because you just got to get out there dude i mean you fucking dude when you got keys in your hand you see that car and you hit that dinger and you and it lights up you know and you hear that beep you want to get in there you don't want anything slowing you down and then sometimes you know like i was i've got hubris dude i'm thinking i'm not gonna get the flu you know and i'm gonna have some moon planet dude. I'm thinking I'm not going to get the flu, you know.

And I'm going to have some moon planet in my dark fantasies. But I'll be like, yeah, I can sneak this fart out. I'm running right now. Yeah, that's a fart. I'm a young, healthy guy. And then just fart and then immediate warmth. And then just looking at a valet. And I'm like, dude, you've got to pull this car up. And they're like, no.

Dude, I need your – and they see the panic on my face my face they're like yeah okay i'll do it for you dude this girl that i'm friends with i went to her birthday party she's like a beautiful girl we're at a bar at like 1 30 in the morning she's housed and she just looks at me like dead in the eyes she just goes i just crop dusted the fuck out of these people and then i smelled the fart it was like i was like yeah you definitely farted it It was a horrendous fart. And then she just comes over and hugs me, and she goes, would you want me to lie to you? No way, dude.

No way. Who's this legend, dude? Dude, it was pretty amazing. This girl's a legend, dude. I was pretty overwhelmed. I was like, I just got to be supportive. I was like, you're a beautiful girl. Yeah, bar farts can be brutal.

I crapped my pants before spelling bee one time what nerves i was wearing shorts no i think i was pretty relaxed that day and i just you know let out a fart and then i was wearing shorts and then just dookie just start streaming down my leg not a harder word to spell than diarrhea i was gonna say dude exactly how do you spell diarrhea not easy you know where it got me out two r's in it wednesday oh that's a tough word too the end i was like this day i was in second grade fucking wednesday brian reagan has a good bit where he's like he's like spelling bees are the worst because up until that point no one else knew i was stupid yeah yeah i was actually a good speller not to not to get braggy too i was. I was a pretty fine speller. Yeah, you got top grammar.

Yeah. No, I mean, I don't know. I just have a good inkling for it. Yeah. I'm bad. Here's one for you. Yeah, throw it at him. Pterodactyl, dude.

Ooh. That's not possible. All right, here's one. Yeah, I can spell it. You don't have to do it all. But do you know what it starts with? I don't. I think I do. Wait, wait, wait. That's the big hint. I know what it starts with. Do you know what it starts with? I don't. I think I do.

That's the big hint. It starts with a P. There you go. Do you want to do the next letter? That's legit. E. Oh, fuck. Sound it out.

T-E-R. I have to check. A. No. What do you mean no is it I pterodactyl he's right bro can you do it

on your own right now if you do it on your own I will get stoked P-T-E-R-O D-A-C-T-Y-L oh are you serious yes

I knew I knew the end I knew the end was D-A-C-T-Y-L yes now we all have to act like pterodactyls oh oh oh Yes! I knew the end was D-A-C-T-Y-S. Now we all have to act like pterodactyls. Dude, they're the scariest in Jurassic Park.

We're in a birdcage. Oh, dude, yes. Oh, we're in a birdcage. Pterodactyls sound like a big bird making fun of a little bird. Some stegosaurus got a new haircut. Shut up. Shut up. Exactly.

Dude, that was impressive spelling. Joe, I know you could have had it too. I'm a ptero. I'm not a good spe Yeah, exactly. Dude, that was impressive spelling. Joe, I know you could have had it too. I'm a tarot. I'm not a good speller, dude. That's an impressive skill, dude. Thanks. It does sound different. It sounds tarot-dactyl.

I think that's how most people say it, right? What are other sneaky ones, dude? Aaron, are you a good speller? I feel like Aaron's probably a legit speller. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I'm pretty good, but I would have missed that. I would have been with Joe, with the A. Yeah. Did you hit me with another

word? Alright. Hard words to spell. Okay. Handkerchief. H-A-N-D-K-E-R-C-H-I-E-F H-A-N-D-K-E-R-C-H-I-E-F oh that was amazing

now we all gotta act like handkerchiefs dude like when you do it are you seeing the word in your mind looking at it like in an image yeah I knew it was handkerchief I think it's more the I think yeah I knew. I think it's more the... I think, yeah.

I guess I'm seeing it. Yeah. And also, I'm able to decipher the sounds a little bit easily. Interesting. I think, like, whenever I hear handkerchief, I think handkerchief. Yeah. Right, and then you just have to max it. Because you watch these kids do it.

Like, there's hilarious videos online of, like, kids passing out and shit. It's gold. That's Bellingby. And then coming back and, like, finishing like finishing the word yeah it's unreal uh or their nose bleeds or something like that just like all these stress related totally and the dads are they're just watching like jesus dude lay off but like but these kids always get in the weirdest like the syncopation that they they talk and they're just like b p w x q v like n and just spells the same word yeah and there's always in a weird pattern that they have down yeah there was a time where like spelling bees was like it

was in the zeitgeist you know like the same way like poker had its moment there was like two docs two regular movies the tv series was like all right we're into spelling bees right now it's good it was good entertainment dude poker tournaments dudeer tournaments when those were in? Greg Raymer. There's always dudes that are like, Chris Moneymaker, you want to come play poker? I never played poker, don't get me wrong. I love gambling, but

they're always just inviting me so I'll be a sucker at their game. Yeah, I was never good at it. I always lost my money. Really? That surprises me yeah yeah because i tried to bullshit and i wasn't good at it i do that too i put a lot of money down trying to blow yeah i still don't understand i'm pretty good you're good i bust sometimes because i just get impatient and i'm like after a couple hours i'm like all right well let's get this thing i just want to add juice to the game yeah but no i'm pretty good yeah i mean i don't

know the odds those people are crazy like where you throw down the cards and like bro you went in on two nines you had a 46 chance yeah i'm not when there's like a guy who's just a gambling addict but con descends to you when you do the wrong gambling i'm like shut up dude when they're judging me based on like odds that i can't read i'm like dude i'm clearly here just playing this one time in my life like ease up like i'm not gonna yell at someone who can't shoot a basketball mar like, dude, I'm clearly here just playing this one time in my life. Ease up. I'm not going to yell at someone who can't shoot a basketball. Marin's got a bit about that with Blackjack

where he's like, someone yelled at him for hitting when he had like, against like the dealers 12 or whatever. He's like, it's called gambling. Exactly, yeah. And the only reason they're mad is because like, you'll take the card that they think is going to come to them next.

Which is a good reason. It is true. Sometimes it does screw the group, yeah. I was in Vegas and I was going to come to them next. Which is a good reason. It is true. Sometimes it does screw the group, yeah. I was in Vegas, and I was going to play blackjack, and I sit down, and I just get the death stare because I think they can tell I'm a rookie. Yeah. And so I do one hand lose, and I'm like,

it was like an old lady, too. She was just like, oh. Because all you have to do is beat the dealer, and then everybody wins you don't need to actually win yourself you got to be a that's why you got to be a team player it is a team game in that the most fun i've had is just sitting at a table with like the bros and friends like we all can all fill up all the seats together yeah yeah and just play together and like we can make the decisions like dudes do i hit what do i do all right yeah and

then it's fun dude what about when the dealer is like very monotone while they're taking your money? Oh, they're just quick. Yeah. When they, yeah. Or when they're really sweet to you and they're just like,

they're like smiling, just taking like a hundred dollars from you. Yeah. Totally. Ooh, tough beat. Yeah. Take your money.

Oh, that's tough. That's the way it goes sometimes. Yeah. That's when you want to turn into Joe Pesci from either. Yeah. Totally. Ooh, tough beat. Yeah. You take your money. Oh, that's tough. That's the way it goes sometimes. Yeah. That's when you want to turn into Joe Pesci from Casino. Totally. You fuck my mother.

You cocksucker. You take this $100 bills and you shove it up your ass. Dude, it'd be nice to just go ham like that. I love that story about you seeing Joe Pesci having sex in Casino

as a kid, dude. Oh, yeah. I was like 14 and I saw Joe Pesci having sex with Sharon Stone in casino. And I just turned to my parents and I was like, that ruins sex for me forever. And my mom was like, don't say that. I was like, I'll never unsee that, Mom. I'm scarred.

It's me and Greg. We were like, that was the most fucked up thing I've ever seen. Because to his credit, he's a very good actor. We talked to Rob Hubel about this this how hard it is to be sexual on camera you know it's a very vulnerable thing you're in front of like a 50 person crew and you especially if you have to act like sexually confident which is hard to do in real life let alone in front of people and then joe pesci's having sex with sharon stone like sideways doggy on the bed he's going and it's, it was, it was horrifying,

you know, but looking back on it, I really respect Pesci's performance. You shouldn't be watching that movie at that young age. Yeah, my parents were weird with that stuff. They really introduced me

to some pretty fucked up shit. God bless them. There are some sex scenes from movies that will like, weirdly fuck me up for a while. Yeah. Oh yeah. Where it's just like,

it's so, like you watch like porn and stuff but it's for some reason your mind expects it yeah but like in certain in movies when it's sort of unexpected yeah and it just looks so just like kind of uh savage i guess yeah yeah like totally that happens to people i know what you're like well you're watching the story and you're investing these characters' lives so it makes it more real. Right, yeah.

You can kind of understand the grotesqueness of it more. And they're like making it entertaining, I guess, to watch. Yeah. Well, one was from like a Safdie Brothers movie, so you know they're trying to just shock you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it also like, when I was so young and suggestible, it made me, so much of like movies in the 90s was about adultery.

And it made me think that that was what aroused adults, was being wrong and doing things that were bad, where you were hurting someone, was erotic. And so I think it twisted up some synapses in my brain. Yeah. Because now I'm an adult, I'm like, no, that shit's all really fucked up. When I was 12 watching Nip Tuck, I was like, well, if it's not fucked up, it's not hot.

Yeah, that was crazy, that shit. That shit was insane to be on FX with the amount of shit that was in it. It was nuts. I remember when I was saying he was just doing blowout for ass. Yeah, they really pushed the envelope. Did they show that on FX? Yeah. Wow.

Google it. I'd love to see that. A little blow ski off the bum. Yeah, I to see that. A little blowski off the bum. Yeah, I don't know. A little blowski off the bumski. Joe, what would you do if I just came home tomorrow and I just put Coke out on the coffee table? I wouldn't touch it. But what would you say to me?

I mean, I'd be disappointed. We're not doing that in our place. I think that's what you'd say you'd go get that off the table dumbass have you ever done it no

never wanted to what do you do you like being around people when they're on blow not really yeah yeah it's it's kind of annoying

yeah yeah dudes you know what we should do this October Formula One inin i'm in 100 yes bro we should talk about it about let's go because we're all watching the show on netflix it's probably the best show of all time i love it so much because racing is one of the most vital experiences in the world when you're on the track on the grid

and you're trying to podium there's no bigger rush dude it's the best thing you hear these drivers like these european drivers talk about like being out on the track they're like i hate my teammates you know he's trying to beat me i'm going to i'm going to he does some things that is uh against etiquette i'll put him in the wall put him in the wall he belongs i want i want to win at the end of the day i want to win what can i say he was being a pussy dude yeah that's unbelievable did you imagine

if someone what did you do he was being a pussy what can I say well dude the media the media asks the most like

button pushing questions they're like are you afraid that you're gonna lose your job next year to your heated rival and what would that do to your feelings

you're like oh my gosh in American sports i mean they ask tough questions but they kiss the athlete's asses a lot more yeah like in formula one they're like do you think this will affect your marriage if you lose your job seriously like a lot man yeah you're like it's it's and they're like i don't really appreciate you asking that but yes the answer is yes it probably will unfortunately but that's why I have to win tomorrow. Like the drivers are pretty candid in their responses. Yeah.

It's like when Daniel Ricciardo goes to Renault. Yeah. You were saying it earlier. He's like, he's got no car. He's got no driver. To Red Bull. And the Red Bull guy's like, yeah. Dude, it's unbelievable.

They sit them next to each other like rivals. It's so good yeah well then when he's talking about ricardo going to renault and he's like i think he was afraid of a fight yeah i think it looks like he's running from a fight i love that and dude the sport is just so cool with like when they're in the the driver cam and he gets to see them when they're talking about how monaco has those narrow streets and you really get an idea of like the precision of their driving yeah it's because they're hitting like 220 on the straightaways and then they're just coming into esterns it's fucking insane it's so cool makes me want we got to go go-karting too yeah 100% dude i'm so down you know it's it's for some reason

with racing i always assume that i'm like yeah i'd be a good racer like for sure uh but then like i'll race someone like my brother and he'll we will go go-karting in new orleans he'll just smoke me i'm like how are you doing that is he practicing yeah he just knows cars so well he just he's watched racing i don't know he doesn't practice that often but he just has this intuitive knowledge of like how to go away so he's just lapping me are you hitting the apex of the turn yeah dude i mean i've learned some from him but yeah but you know what dude you're more of an off-roader oh you're out there in your truck it's free-flowing it's spiritual you're carving your own line thanks dude you know you're in the

dunes you're doing it right you're bumping some some tunes it's a different it's not really a race but it's just kind of you know that hit me in the dong dude yeah you already put a lift on your truck right a lift you got snow tires on that or at least off-road tires yeah i got year-round chains you put some wings on it too yeah i put a spoiler on the on the truck bed um nice little hood scoop new exhaust apexy exhaust just to get a little Just to give my baby a little purr. Did you consider at any point getting a 10-second car or something like that? Dude, that's in my future, I know. Because that's not every day. I was like, I'm going to get the Supra at some point in my life,

but I need something to carry my shit around first. Correct. So the truck is the first step. After that, we're going with the Supra. You got the truck to get you around. Then you got your toy. Just like Paul Walker. Don't think I did not premeditate this.

He's got the Ford F-150 Lightning in 2001 Fast and the Furious. Thank you, dude. And then he gets the Mitsubishi Lancer. No, no, no. He gets the Evo. But Johnny Tran blows that up because he's a fucking knob then he gets the supra so maybe i'll try and go that route or i'll just go straight to supra

i could also have you know like joe blow up my car and i just sort of want to follow that you better hit the nos if joe's riding with you because you got some extra weight to carry around and joe's in great shape, so you know what I'm saying. Yeah. Joe, what do you think, F1? Are you catching any episodes with...

I've taken a couple glances. I just, I don't know. I don't get the appeal. Of what? You don't like being in Monaco, dude? Or taking a trip to Baku, wherever that is?

Or Azerbaijan? I don't know. Or Bahrain? What is that? Dude, these are sexy cities. We're going to exotic cities, and they're setting off fireworks every time we win a race. Every time we get to fly by.

I would never go to one of those cities. What? You'd be cruising in one of those cities. You don't want to go to one of those cities? You don't want to go to sexy cities with sexy people? I don't even know where that is. You don't want to wear a polo with no buttons and a nice watch? Monte Carlo?

Oh, Monte Carlo, yeah. I stayed there once in Las Vegas. No, bro. No, we're talking the real one. The actual city. Yeah. Dude, we should go to Austin, though. It's accessible.

Yeah. I'm down. It's October. Joe has to come, though. You got to, dude. You got to come. What, there's a down one in LA? No.

Well, there's the Indy 500 Grand Prix in Long Beach. Oh, right. Sexiest city in the United States. Go. New Orleans? Because it's hot. Miami? Miami.

It's probably Miami. Vegas is not really sexy. Newark, New Jersey. Some of the people in Vegas, you're like, whoa. Oh, no, dude, it's ugly humanity. You walk into a casino, it's just like the fattest person you've ever seen. And they are fucked up, dude. They are fucking drunk, dude.

Chains over their skin looks terrible. Vegas is like that scene from WALL-E in the future. And the humans are just like... Everything comes to you, dude. It's going to do stuff to your body. I like staying in the regular pool. Vegas, baby. Vegas is the best.

We should go to Vegas, too. We should drive some freaking race cars to Vegas. They have tracks in Vegas. That's the speed limit. Be safe. You've got to do you know yeah save it for the track save for the track all right should we answer some questions or do we should do an ad oh yeah guys i want to interrupt this podcast let you know once again that we were brought to you by manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean

because guys you know when you are buying a new house what do they check for they check for your credit score they check for your proof of income they check you know do you have any dependents they check um and you know what if you don't have any of those things if your credit score is subpar if you are having a tough time with your income just show them your freshly manscaped pubes because they will know that you will take care of this house the way you have taken care of your dong okay i mean this is-level stuff we're talking about here. This is manscaped. You can buy a house with your dong hair because it's freshly trimmed.

That's what's up, guys. You know, this is not just pubes or whatever, but a fresh-looking dong, that can build the life that you want yeah you guys have any thoughts on that yeah i think yeah you know they say dress for the job you want not the job you have yeah trim your pubes for the job you want not the job you have too yeah i love that it's a good sentiment boss Boss man shit. Yeah. Joe, biggest alpha you've ever met. I don't know.

Probably someone in Chicago, not out here. Don't start with that. Don't start with here. Don't start with that. Well, I mean, I don't know. I know that don't start with here don't start with well i mean i don't know i i know a lot of comedians they're sensitive a lot of them are pussies yeah that's fair but that don't mean california's full of that well but uh yeah before you answer guys use code go deep 20 at main skit dot com for 20 off your order and free shipping. All right, should we get into some questions?

Hell yes, dude. What's going on, bros? I need advice from you legends about something that's been weighing on my mind. I'm 22 now, but ever since high school, every time me and my squad get together to drink, I get way too hammered and blackout sometimes. I've been lucky to not have anything serious or bad happen to me because of it, just some embarrassing moments.

I don't get belligerent or anything, but I've thrown up and even pissed on my friends' floors a couple times. It causes me a lot of anxiety days after I drink, and it's taking the fun out of drinking for me. I feel bad for making my friends babysit me on average Saturday because I drank too much. Any words of wisdom on how to control my drinking would be much appreciated. Thanks for the pod and everything you

legends do. Please keep me anonymous. Oh, man. Well, it's... You're young, man, so it's good that you're nipping this in the bud and everything you legends do please keep me anonymous oh man well it's you're young man so it's good that you're uh nipping this in the bud now you know or trying to i think a lot of people they uh they just write it off as like you know the the same behavior as everybody else um probably take it easy on the hard liquor sounds like he's really smart drink of water like pounding the handle sounds like he's taking swigs yeah do a glass of water between each drink yeah maybe just have some beers and yeah little baby rattler scenario here not knowing the reverse baby rattler not knowing the power of the poison you're putting in you know and uh yeah dude lay off the hard booze and you

know it's tough because you're around your friends. You want to feel like you're part of it and you're drinking and stuff. But, yeah, definitely, definitely dial it back. You've got to know your limits and learn your body, dude. You're putting in way too much. You can't be blacking out. Not to brag, but when I was 22, I used to be able to handle anything. I wasn't blacking out at all.

So I don't really know what that's like but yeah if it's good that he's aware of it already but yeah you can't be black i mean blackouts have to be like once in a while if it's a weekly thing then let's uh examine what we're drinking yeah you should be able to count on one hand the amount of times you've blacked out oh man, man. I can't do that. Yeah, I would say for this guy, I would actually take a... Because I've certainly had my struggles with boozing, especially when I was around your age, my child.

He's not that much older. But I was blacking out a lot, and then I was drinking for consecutive days. So you don't want it to get to that point. And I would suggest taking a moratorium from the booze. You know, don't say I'm going to stop drinking forever because then that's going to be overwhelming. You're not going to want to do that. But, you know, I'd say, yeah, I'm taking a month off and just sort of reestablish your relationship with it. And see if you can

enjoy life sober and then sort of try to if you want to get back into drinking go slowly but uh from my experiences those habits come back quick so yeah i've done that recently i took a i haven't drank since the super bowl yeah nice you're saving it for sam patty's day yeah i'm gonna drink yeah i'm coming back. This Saturday is my return. I love it. But beers only. You're only a beer guy. Yeah, I only do beer.

Well, wine. I'll drink red wine. I like White Claws, not to be soft. Hey, liking what you like is the most masculine thing in the world. I agree with Chad, though. I think you're right. Well, no, because there's vodka in that I don't drink that

yeah that's the liquor that's in that interesting but I agree with you man I think taking a break would be an interesting challenge for you and I think you'll reset yourself and then see if you can get back into it slowly but right now you're just in a pattern

break the pattern. Yeah, it's interesting when you take a break from boozing and it's like when you're used to being hungover often and then you take a break from it, you have like a month of being healthy, it sort of resets your idea of what the baseline is for feeling good. of what the baseline is for feeling good, you know? And then you're like, oh, okay, I want to be high-functioning in terms of my health.

And so I want to put in good food, good quality things so I can always sort of be at that level. Because I think once you experience that, it's hard to go back. Yeah, you know you can feel better. Yeah. Yep, and everybody's body's different i don't know if he's a smaller statured dude but you know there is a little bit of math there that can be done so you can't keep up with dudes that are house and beers yeah like joe and cool and cool steady

yeah sobriety as opposed to that anxiety you feel from blackouts for days i mean that's worth so much more in the long run your life will benefit so much more from just, you know, you might be a little bit more bored more often, but it's definitely way better than that anxiety. All right. What up, Sovereigns of Stoke? Long-time listener from Saskatchewan here with a tough cue. So I went on a dank double date with my dog last night.

Overall, great time. Deleted some beers, shared some laughs. Anyways, I was mainly wingmanning my dog. He's been talking to her for a while, and the girl I was paired with has a boyfriend. So I went in with low expectations and just thought I'd be there for morale. Turns out this girl I'm paired with is super hot. She's laughing at my jokes. We're getting along.

She likes my music. I'm playing it nonchalant, and it's working too well. My dog said it looked like he was wingmanning me. After the date, she asked my bro for my snap, and I feel like I'm being pursued. This is a totally tough sitch, and I'm afraid this taboo is what I'm into, and her too. However, there might actually be some real connection, which makes things worse.

Right now, I think I lay out a picnic unicorn style and see who comes my way, but I feel inclined to entertain this girl. Thanks a lot. Also, shout out Aaron. Yeah, what up, Aaron? Yeaharon uh legend what up i feel like this is completely speculative i feel like he's inventing the fact that he's into this like taboo thing with the boyfriend girlfriend thing i feel like he just likes this girl they hit it off on a date

yeah you know if she's got a boyfriend, she's got a boyfriend. You know, the snap thing's legit. That's nice. But I feel like, I don't know, if I'm guessing here, and I feel like maybe this guy's not too much of a ladies' man. I feel like, you know, he's playing it cool because there was nothing to lose. He went into this date, quote, wingmanning, not thinking like, oh, I'm meeting someone, someone not being nervous able to be

himself ended up hitting it off this girl got into it they probably are both young who knows this guy that she's been dating how long they've been into it he's just got to let her know via snapchat or what you know get her text or something like that and be like dude i don't know are you serious about your boyfriend should we give this a shot what's up that's about it I don't know. Are you serious about your boyfriend? Should we give this a shot? What's up? That's about it. I don't know about this whole taboo thing. I'm like, I want her to have a boyfriend while we do this.

Feels invented to me. 100% speculative. He read an email. What do you think, Joe? Wait, he was trying to get winged manned? No, he was winged manning. Oh, he was winged manning for his friend? No, he was wingmanning, and then the girl he was wingmanning. Oh, he was wingmanning for his friend? The woman he was occupying.

Well, yeah, I mean, it was easy because he's playing with house money. Well, he's in a relationship. She's in a relationship. What about this guy? I don't think so. Well, it must not be serious if she agrees to go on a situation like that. I mean, her friend tells her uh so i'm this guy like you gotta come out like no you would ask what one of your single friends if you're a girl to do that

you wouldn't ask someone who's in a relationship to like come on a like that intimate of a setting yeah i agree with that that's interesting and it could have even been cooked up by the ladies to create a layer you know what i mean i didn't even think about that i was gonna say just stay away because i'm always kind of like you don't want to ruin this romance but yeah i think you're right yeah i think uh i don't know i wingman friends when i was in a relationship and i you know i just was like just occupied the other person but but I do like going out a lot I don't know I've hooked up with people when they're in a relationship with someone else and you kind of feel bad afterwards

you kind of feel like a shithead so uh I think you just tell her like I can't flirt with you when you got a boyfriend. And then whatever she decides after that is up to her. And that's good advice. Yeah. If what he says in that email is true. But I'm going by the theory that it's not. He's cooking this stuff up. How much of it is he cooking up?

Yeah, he's cooking. What's he cooking up? And Joey even turned it on to me that I don't even think this girl is a boyfriend now. What? I think that, you know think this girl has a boyfriend now. What? I think that, you know, because that is a weird scenario. I mean, you know, maybe I'm not in on that girl's relationship with her boyfriend. But if my girlfriend was like, oh, I'm going to go wingman for a friend in a double date scenario with another dude that's single, obviously I can't set rules and be like, don't do that.

She's going to do what she's going to do. But I would honestly tell her like, oh oh i don't exactly like that you're gonna go dude yeah not if the other guy's i don't like that yeah and i and she can do what she wants and i trust her 100 i think this happens fairly often but like set up at a dinner no maybe both other people both of the wing people are in a relationship if one is single it's weird yeah the way it happens is like it's spontaneous where it's like your friend sees a girl it's like all right dude i'll cruise out with you or like it's a group setting but like i'm picturing like them at a dinner like just four people hanging out yeah yeah unless it's they're just like out for

drinks i don't yeah i don't know yeah i could go either way on it i don't know i think it's a great opportunity for the motorcycle scenario you often talk about, you know, cruise up. Love that. I mean, dude, I think you'll feel way cooler and better about yourself if you cruise up on, like, a hog. Yeah. That says Joe on it. Nice, yeah. And then you just say, look, you got a BF we can never be.

And then you're chewing gum the whole time. Then you do a fat burnout. Then you're just cruising with the wind flowing through your hair. I don't know how they do it in Saskatchewan. I mean, your confidence will skyrocket, and you'll be the king of Saskatchewan. Dude, how do you spell Saskatchewan? No way.

How do you spell Saskatchewan, dude? S-A-S-Q-U-E no there's no Q's do you want to go yeah it's S-A-S K-A-T C-H-E-N W-A-N

you got it dude that's amazing bro I messed up at first? That was amazing. Good job. All right. What up, Chad and JT, possibly Strider and or Joe and any other guests? Boys, I've got myself a sticky sitch.

One of my best friends is a girl I've known since we were both little kids. We're 23 now. Nice. And our relationship has always been strictly friends, never anything romantic. Until fairly recently, we were both in serious long-term relationships, and we both became single because of the people we were dating calling it off since then we've been hanging out a lot more in a long story short i realized that she is literally the woman of my dreams and i'm falling for her hard she honestly makes me happier than anyone ever has and since we've known each other

forever hanging out is effortless and we click so well but here's the kicker recently she dropped the bomb on me that she's in love with my brother who is currently in a relationship. So he even went so far as to tell him about it. So he shut her down because he has a good relationship with his girlfriend and he's not interested in anyone else. We literally do everything that dating couples do minus the label. And whenever we hang out, she talks to me about her thing with my brother and I try to help her out. But it is killing me to just sit there when I like her so much. But knowing that she's hung up on my bro, so I feel like I can't tell her how I feel.

What do you think, bros? Do I risk it and tell this woman of my dreams how I feel, even though she's a very vulnerable person? Or do I keep my mouth shut and wait it out longer with the risk of possibly losing her? Sorry for the long question, but I felt like it would be right up your alley. Thanks in advance. Dude, this is all a lie. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

I've been in this exact situation sixth grade the girl i was in love with was in love with my brother they started dating i'll tell you what i did all right they were at the pool at rio del oro all right and i went to the pool and they were in the pool just like you know getting snuggly and you know whatever and i was like this is not right she belongs with me so in the lane right next to them i was just doing butterfly just for like an hour just showing her the strength of my delts and um they broke up soon thereafter we never consummated our love but she teaches spin classes now very nice dude spin instructors are some of the most powerful and inspiring people

on the planet. Yeah. For sure. Dude, I think there's some interesting details. He says they're doing everything that couples do, so I guess they're hooking up, but then she's still

talking to you about how she's in love with your brother, which must be extremely painful. Yeah, that was weird. That was a weird twist to the story.

I didn't... Wait, tell me, did she start dating the brother or the brother of her girlfriend? They might not be hooking up, but he said that he said that we literally do everything that dating couples do minus the label. So, I don't know.

I guess you could infer from that maybe they're hooking up, but maybe they're not. Okay, so they're not just friends then. Well, I don't know. Maybe they are just friends because maybe he would have mentioned it if they were hooking up. Yeah. Either way, just tell her how you feel. And he also said she's very vulnerable, which is she just vulnerable because she likes your brother

or is there additional vulnerabilities? Or because she got shut down by the brother? Yeah, if it's just that she got shut down by your brother, she's not more vulnerable than you. I mean, you're both pretty vulnerable. Yeah. And JT, I love that you just said then you i'd say forget it that's i'm kind of thinking the same thing joe joe i'm on the same page i'm going dude you gotta have

some self-respect here you gotta yeah and you gotta watching the show love is blind dude you can't mark yourself with jessica here dude you gotta just go ahead and say dude dude and you gotta just go you know what, dude? You've got to let her go. And that's just what's up. And honestly, you know, I mean, you guys are friends and she's confiding in you and stuff, but, dude, you can't give her that much.

You're kind of self-torturing a little bit. You're kind of going, I don't know what the word is for it, but like... He's accepting less than he deserves. Yeah, 100%, dude. He's taking the crumbs. Yeah, stop doing that. Yeah.

You got to step up. And you got to let her know how you feel, 100%, but not in a tone of like coming to her from like, and I want you to accept me, but being like, hey, as equal people, I feel this way about you. I have. It kind of hurt me that you liked your brother, but that's your feelings. Those are your honest feelings that's legit but uh but maybe he should put a

little more yeah uh into it like he'll be like hey here's the deal i like you and i want to be with you and if you don't want to be with me that's okay i totally understand but that's going to change the nature of our dynamic yeah yeah and then just be prepared to to do that yes either way yeah i love that for Yeah. I love that. For real. I frigging love that. And then saying, look, I got news for you. In a couple years, I'm going to be my brother.

That's true. Like what you're seeing right now, my older brother, that's my floor. My ceiling is who knows. My brother's my floor. My ceiling is like a combination of Jose Canseco and Jake Gyllenhaal. Oh, wow, fire combo. Imagine getting fucked by that guy. Whoa.

That's going to be a good fuck. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You're going to get railed. It's going to be edgy. It's going to be committed. Yeah. Premature.

Mr. 40-40 in the night crawler himself donnie 40 40 getting into it 40 40 darko um all right premature ejaculation and cold showers rectangular table of the stoke lords how can i last longer when i'm taking a trip to bone town i often don't use protection which i assume is not helping but even with condoms on i finish very quickly i've tried the mental game switching positions frequently, and just about everything else you can think of to no avail. Please advise, as I want these experiences to be just as enjoyable for my ladies as it is for me. Two, how cold do you dogs make your cold showers?

Do you turn the knob all the way to the right, or what? Thanks again, my bro. Chad, do you want to take care of that? Cold showers, I go all the way to the right, cold as possible. It feels great. Do you really take a cold shower? Every morning. Why?

Because it's good for your immunity. Coronavirus, hello. It's good for your hair. It's good for your skin. It gets your blood flowing. It's good for your circulation. It's good for everything. The best part, though, is it makes you feel good.

After you get out, you feel rejuvenated. I did it for a while. It does do something. The breathing, too. When the cold water hits you, it makes you take these deep breaths. Yeah, it's... I don't know. I don't know.

Did you see that Wim Hof stuff on Goop Lab? I don't know what that is. On Netflix? Yeah, it's a lot of words together that don't make a lot of sense if you haven't seen it. Spell Wim Hof on Goop Lab. Dude, in terms of lasting longer during sex... Do you speak Star Wars to me?

Yeah, exactly. JT's Jar Jar Binks impression right there. Take a couple shots of Jameson before you bone, that'll do it. That's true, that'll help. Dude, think about baseball, it really does help. I've talked about this before. I always think about Hideki Matsui for some reason.

His name just is like, it's the most interesting baseball name I can think of. But I'll just try to like say who the outfield is for like the, you know, oh, five angels or something. And then another thing I do, and I picked this up from a porn star, and it works really well, is you bite yourself. Whoa. Yeah yeah bite your shoulder and you look a little ridiculous but maybe it's sexy and you just bite your shoulder that's pretty sexy and then um same game same you know statistics and dude this sounds not sexy and

maybe it's not but uh maybe it is is just be honest with the person like hey sometimes i get nervous that like i premature ejaculate so i you So I just want to let you know that in advance. So just, I don't know, maybe give her a heads up. You'll feel less pressure when you're doing the act. Yeah, dude, and you give yourself a little refractory period. You know what I mean, dude? How old is this guy? He's a young guy.

He's not like 40 or something like that? He's 46. Yeah, you're so sad. Oh, that guy's 46 down here? No, I'm kidding. No, you're joking. Yeah, you're a young guy, dude. Go the shower do what i do go to the shower before you're gonna make love and jack off he's got three kids could you imagine you're like if one of your kids like

slams well and you have to go up to your son and be like hey how do you not come so fast she's like dad shut up come on what's the secret dude i would I would say one word, fleshlight. Get a fleshlight, put it to the butthole setting. That'll train your dong real quick. It has that? Yeah. Jesus. Do you have a fleshlight? No.

Oh. But I've seen... How do you know that? I've seen it on sites, you know? Yeah. They have a butthole setting. There's an ad that pops up in a corner. We've all seen it on sites.

They have the stimulator thing. Yeah, but I didn't look at the different options. You didn't? The bottle setting. Don't lie. No, I've never even thought about getting one of those. No? It's disgusting.

Yeah, it's pretty gross. I mean, it probably doesn't come in Joe's size. Yeah, I was going to say, it's probably the size of your hog already. Yeah, yours is like a, not a fleshlight, it's like a flesh well. Joe uses a big road cone yeah exactly yeah one of those yeah you got the fattest donger in the world all right chad what is your beef of the week uh my beef of the week is with myself uh over the uh at the council meeting you know we're going deep into the coronavirus with the great city of pasadena and uh i tried to give jt a high five when they're talking about washing our hands but i was even i was just zoning out i was thinking

about like formula one racing and he left me hanging and i got heated i was like left me hanging and he's like coronavirus and i was like oh i just beefed myself i saw you write it down afterwards i felt really bad and then i saw you writing it down i was like oh that's good he has a way to process it i didn't feel like a jerk i was like i should have slapped his hand i was like but i really really am trying not to. No, the beef is with myself, though, because I'm like, I need to be mindful of corona. I know, dude. It's crazy.

You know, the high fives can wait. I don't want my corona to be your corona. It's a nice example of walking in someone else's shoes there, you know? I mean, you're throwing up some amp, throwing up a five, being like, I'm fired up right now, but then your bro's worried about the coronavirus and it lets you know, sometimes you gotta step outside yourself

even in the most maximum amps. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I guess my brain's interesting, whereas I guess when serious stuff comes on i think like oh isn't austin powers hilarious yeah yeah it's funny but like when we're learning about a possible pandemic i'm just like a lot of vagina was a hilarious name for a character super fun yeah amazing do i mean look that's what he wrote those two that's all you know those both things are true

thanks yeah there is a pandemic that might wipe out three percent of the population and austin And look, the choice. You can struggle those two. You know, both things are true. Thanks. Yeah. There is a pandemic that might wipe out 3% of the population, and Austin Powers is a fucking great movie. It's so good. Yeah. You know, it's, I think after 9-11, Beverly Hills Chihuahua was like, and there probably wasn't many, I don't know what movies were out in September, but, like, it made a ton of money. People were like, we want to escape right now.

We don't want to sit in this for so much. The best post-9-11 movies was were like, we want to escape right now. We don't want to sit in this for so much. Best post 9-11 movies was like the patriotic ones, like Behind Enemy Lines with Owen Wilson. Oh, dude, yeah. And they were like,

literally in the advertising, they were like, this is the movie that America needs right now. And I was like, yes, it is. That is what I need. It was a great movie.

Yeah, I remember that movie. It was a good movie. I liked that movie. It rocks hard, yeah. Joe, what's your beef? My beef is with uh milo butterfingers uh reading his shirt um this is a sports bar in dallas okay my love um never been stole this shirt from someone yeah i mean from frank i guess my beef is with uh people saying not to touch your face. How's that going to happen?

I touch my face non-stop. You like to smell things too. There's always itches. How do you not touch your face? If I'm washing my hands, I can touch my face because I'm going to touch my face and I'll wash my hands i can touch my face because i'm gonna touch my face then i'll wash my

hands i don't know i feel you you're right i feel you it's not easy dude strider bomb what's your uh beef also face related dude so a lot of my stuff's car related too but i i hit my head on the um when i was working on my car a little bit and i'm gonna brag in a little bit um uh but uh i hit my head on the, when I was working on my car a little bit, and I'm going to brag in a little bit, but I hit my head on my car hood a little bit. Right here. You see this? Wow. Yeah.

You see that? You see that? For those listening at home. See that shiner? Turned into a pimple, dude. Oh, shit. That's a pimple now. Looks pretty flat, though.

Nah, it's going to be poppable. I can feel the thing beneath it. So I've been wearing the lid, just hiding it, and it is making me very angry. Yeah, but that hat's going to make it worse because you're getting more dirt and oil in it. You are correct in that. You are correct. My dog. I'm beefing hard on this thing dude yeah it's pissing me off

dude my beef of the week is uh from the city council meeting as well today uh they did like a two-hour presentation some really uh great doctors broke down the coronavirus in pasadena and uh pasadena is in good shape they're like one of the only cities in the california that has their own like health department that's like equipped to handle this situation and uh the doctors were great no beef there but then the city council members started asking questions to the doctors and it was like a mix of just like total obliviousness or total grandstanding and at its worst after like a couple hours all the people in there were getting restless because they wanted to talk about these really pressing issues and not and what the problem was is the city council members kept asking questions that had already

been answered oh and so everyone was like the people were like no we already heard this and they started getting vocal about it and i guess the i didn't know but one of the city council members had been looking at his phone during the presentation and he just kept going on asking dumb questions and some they sounded a little selfishly motivated like at the end i thought he was literally gonna be like hey am i gonna get coronavirus but then he's literally like what do you say he's like he's like oh has there been any known cases in pasadena and they had like clearly said that there hadn't been and the whole room just went they already asked that she already answered my attention and i got fired up i was like dude it was an hour ago yeah that was that was great. I was like, dude, they already answered it.

And it was like, the guy was so, and he got all sensitive. And he's like, I know it might bother some of you, but I have a right to ask questions. I was like, dude, get off the stage, dude. I was like, get out of there. You also have a right to listen, dude. Yeah, it was pretty bad. And they just, yeah, they just asked so many so many so many questions but you know it was cool to be thorough but come on city council members pay attention would they ever be like asking questions as if they're asking for their

constituency i don't know if these are elected positions but they'd be like well i think a lot of people are thinking they do really be like they didn't do that but they were like they'd be like they'd be like so are you willing to take the steps necessary to shut down schools if we think it might threaten the children of our community? And you're like, you're not that fired up about it. You're acting that fired up because the people who are here will be like, hey, thanks for sticking up for us. You know what I mean?

It just felt like a little phony, but maybe it's smart. I don't know. But I was always like, couldn't you just say that stuff? My brain's always like couldn't you just say that stuff my brain's like couldn't you just say that stuff before the meeting or after the meeting like you're doing it now because it's uh like isn't that audience oriented when you book them to come in like there's like probably a questionnaire sheet that you have that like one of your interns put up like these are the questions that people are going to want to answer yeah that's probably one of them yeah yeah totally totally just let the doctor make the speech chat yeah it's brutal who is your babe of the week my baby of the week i gotta go daniel ricardo formula one i love him it's formula one i am not

a daniel ricardo fan but this is your moment go ahead go go go go well you know, I like Charlie Leclerc or whatever it is, too. Charles LeCirque. Charles LeCirque. Respect. Yeah, you know, I guess he was just the first real Formula One driver that I became acquainted with, and I was like, he's a beast, you know. But, you know, it is tough to pick between, I think, him, Charles Leclerc. Leclerc, yeah. Charles Leclerc. It is tough to pick between, I think, him, Charles Leclerc. Leclerc, yeah. Charles Leclerc and Max von Steppen because they're all beasts. And they're all kids. They're all so young.

But I was so inspired by when he won the Monte Carlo. Yeah. I mean, that was so cool. Can you imagine winning a race like that? Oh, man. So, yeah, he's a beast you know, he's a beast. He's with Renault right now. I wasn't a big fan of the move from Red Bull.

I would stick with Red Bull until the day I die. Just because I love what they bring to the table. And they bring straight-up energy, which is what you want. But, you know, just got to give a shout-out to Formula One. Drive, you guys are beasts. I want to get my own Formula One car. That's one thing about the sport, is like, you can't really, like, practice it the way they do. Not yet.

Not yet. But soon, with diligence and practice, I could see you on the track. Oh, thank you. Way out of the midfield, towards the podium. And he runs into Leclerc. Oh, it's a big crash. Oh, they've contacted turn one. What the fuck is he doing?

He just hit me in the back. What the fuck is he doing? Sorry, guys. Sorry, guys. That's my favorite. The drivers always apologize. Sorry, guys. My favorite was Charles Leclerc when he's like,

what the fuck? Sorry for the bad wood. Oh yeah, yeah, that is great. Great job guys. Yeah, the communications are so good.

Are you, are you okay? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. It's great, dude, it's crazy how safe they can stay in those things,

those accidents at 200 miles an hour, it's nuts. There's deaths though. Yeah. People go down. Joe, who's your babe of the week? I would say Aaron, the producer.

Nice! While you guys were two hours late, we were out in the lobby talking and we're dating now and really got to know each other. Couldn't happen to two better guys. Yeah, so you guys missed out. no but yeah i mean it's nice for them to stay and thank you aaron yeah thanks aaron really appreciate it aaron's a true legend

yeah thanks guys strider who's your baby of the week dude my baby's gotta be my gf um we had our anniversary this past sunday and we had some busy stuff going on. Saturday was a little day of obligation for us, so we weren't really able to go out and really enjoy our anniversary, although we did have a great time. We're going to push it and go celebrate this following Saturday. So just, you know, ups on my GF for being legit and being down for that GP game plan.

And also what we did do was instead of going out to dinner we went out to breakfast which was tight that's cool very nice breakfast date so that's what we did but then we got a nice little activity planned up for this weekend which will be sick but uh yeah so just giving up for my gf and um yeah it's tight dude and we took a nice little trip down to san diego that was why we couldn't really celebrate this um weekend uh dude go on a go on a road trip with your gf like even just like a hundred mile or you know whatever city you're in find the next cool city or a little destination 100 miles what's that two and a half hour drive or whatever you're chilling you're catching up you're having a good time you go there there, get some dinner, spend the night, come back the next day. Very tight, very tight.

That's tight as hell. Yeah. My baby of the week is two babes. It's Zhang Wei Li and Ioana Young-Jacek, two UFC fighters in the 115-pound division. They had what I think might have been the best fight of all time on Saturday. It's up there. I mean, there's been some great ones.

Rory McDonald, Robbie Lawler, too. Chad Mendes, Jose Aldo, too. I really enjoyed Gastelum, Adesanya. I mean, you know mean there's been some great ones rory mcdonald robbie lawler too chad mendez jose aldo too uh i really enjoyed gastelum adesanya i mean you know there's there's a lot but this one is right the fuck up there dude these two women went to war they were in the pocket super technical but super aggressive just throwing bombs dude didn't take it to the floor just stand up battle and i mean it's one of those fights where yeah you want a young jay check loss but like there was no losers in the fight because they both acquitted themselves as warriors and had the best thing that fighting can have besides like beautifully graceful like karate moves it had those moments where you're like that person

is broken the fight is over and then they dig deep and they come firing back as the aggressor when you know everything in their body is telling them to quit and i you know on a young jay checks head let me show this to you guys i don't know if you guys have seen this it was pretty hard to watch for this reason because they both got so injured but here was her uh forehead after the fight. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. And she kept fighting with that condition for a couple rounds, which I guess they said isn't too dangerous. Just like a large hematoma on the head.

But, I mean, obviously it looks extraordinarily painful. And it is, maybe if it's not dangerous, it is super, super painful. And she fought through it. And then Zhang Weili, you know, all she's dealing with with the coronavirus in China, she had to move her training camp she came out and got the w it's uh just unbelievable and then the best part was after the fight her translator was too excited and he kept fucking up the translations like she would talk and he'd be like oh i'm sorry it's my first time

translating uh i'm just i'm too excited i can't talk i'm too excited and then Joe Rogan just goes get it together dude uh it was great but so both of you guys are total babes and right before international women's day you guys are you know top of the heap uh Chad who's your legend of the week I just got quite so like for her when she's recovering do they give her a bunch of painkillers or like how do they I don't know how they do it. Do they suffer through it? I think you are in pain for a while. Yeah. Yeah.

That sucks. Like, the headaches must just be... Like, I remember just boxing with friends, and then for, like, three hours afterwards, your head's just ringing. Oh, forget it. I don't think there's any way to avoid that. No chance. No chance.

Brutal. It's crazy. I mean, I think they both landed, like, 200 headshots on each other. Yeah. And they punched, like, fucking how kangaroos kick. Like they got some force. Who's your legend, dog? My legend are Marco and Mike, my GF's dad, at Caruso Ford in Long Beach.

Nice. I just want to give a shout out to a great dealership. Marco helped me find the truck. nice i'll give a shout out to a great dealership uh marco helped me find the truck mike you know he's such a legend dude with uh all that you know helping helping me out with everything so thank you guys so much for um you know helping me find that ranger set me up well you know a bunch of good guys at that dealership and uh it was a really fun experience i was really stoked after and i just uh super thankful for uh a good car shopping experience so i'm fired up and stoked for the truck that's so rare dude that's nice you got that yeah yeah it can be very hectic i felt very blessed did you drive it here i was like i have a good life

or do you guys carpool she drove me there and then she went to Newport to hang with her mom no I mean right now you have no I have a loaner car right now this beast yeah yeah it's dumb now it's a Ford Fusion rolling in right now over it yeah that was fire dude the snap on that pup dude yeah oh dude that was good joe it's your legend my legend um i haven't been on here in a while so i never got to shout out uh the new uh gino's east pizza that opened up uh sher Sherman Oaks that I went to on my birthday. And it was fantastic. It was everything and more that I could have asked for. They got the great Chicago memorabilia on the walls, nice little bar area, great service.

Met the owners. They were coming around to the tables. It was awesome. And it's good. I'm so glad to have a place like that out here in Los Angeles. What did you get on the pie? We got pepperoni and hot giardiniera. Oh, I love that.

It's my personal favorite combo. What is that? It's like a Portillo's. What's what? Hot giardiniera. It's a hot pepper mix. Ooh. Stank.

You can buy jars of it at Portillo's. Stank. Is it good? Yeah. Would you say you enjoyed a little slice of home? Yeah, I would say that. Nice. Strider, who's your legend of the week? Dude, my legend of the week was my lift

driver from today, dude. This guy was a godsend. K today, dude. This guy was a godsend. Cure on, dude. Legend. So my car, like I was telling you, overheated. Frigging overheated. Had to pull it over by Echo Park Lake. Leave it for two days.

My GF and I were driving down to San Diego. Ubered back to our place to get her car that we could take down to San Diego then. So just leaving my car, parked up, posted up at Echo Park Lake, worried about it all weekend, but just knowing I'm going to handle it come Monday. So I'm getting up early, dude. I'm cruising over there and I'm calling this mechanic that I go to that I got hooked up through from Valet Donald, who was also a legend honorable mention for this week. And I'm calling Donald on the phone.

I'm like, yeah, my car overheated. Then it stalled into a parking space. So I don't know if it's going to start, but can I get it towed to you? Can you see me this morning? And Don's like, yeah, bring it in, dude. Bring it in. I'm like, oh, fire, fire. Then I hang up.

And Kieron goes, you having car problems? Pretty curious. I'm like, yeah, yeah, it's overheated. He's like, what's going on? What do you know? I was like, I don't know, dude. Topped it off with some coolant, but the thing still went down. Even after I topped it off, he's like, okay, okay.

And just kept asking me these questions. And then finally he's like, when I dropped it off. He's like, okay, okay, and just kept asking me these questions, and then finally he's like, when I drop you off, like, can I look at it? I was like, hell, that'd be amazing. Yeah, he's like, yeah, he's like, I like fixing cars. I was like, all right, awesome, dude. So we go over, he parks his car, finds a spot, hops out, I pop the hood. He's like, you should fire it up for me. Don't worry. Guy's right, fires up, looks at the thing, sees that there's like coolant stuff like kind of sprayed on the engine he goes i know exactly what's happening here he takes off my radiator cap and he goes like this and he goes it's corroded and he goes you know how i know that look at all this fluid all over your engine it's dropping into there and it's spraying all over there so

you're losing coolant and he goes you're lucky you should probably still go see if you have a leak but this is your primary leak right here and then he then i have coolant in my car from one of my uh dank valets randy also honorable mention um so we top it off with coolant and he goes go to auto zone right now go buy a new cap and you'll probably be fine and i was like all right great boom go to auto zone get a new cap 10 bucks bro 10 bucks put the new cap on myself which made me feel like a man for a little bit. I was like, I did text my GF about that. She was like,

wait a minute, I was like, thank you so much. Drove it all the way to Van Nuys without getting it towed. No overheating. Boom, Donald the mechanic put it under pressure.

Car's fine. Running as good as new. Kieron, a legend, dude. Saved me from getting towing fees and going through a whole ordeal. Guy's a beast. Nice. Yeah, that's really cool. And he was just passionate. He was just passionate, dude. Saved me from getting towing fees and going through a whole ordeal. Guy's a beast. Nice.

Yeah, that's really cool. And he was just passionate. He was just passionate, dude. He was just curious about it. He probably felt your passion. Did you throw him a little of this? I threw him a little extra. Would you?

I threw him a little extra on the app. $15 ride. Okay, yeah. Dude, my legend of the week is my Uber driver from two nights ago. Dude, are you serious? That's amazing. I'm not messing with you. So I take an Uber to a Rite Aid to pick up my prescription at midnight on Sunday.

And then I come out, and I'm just sitting there waiting for an Uber. And I just see these young kids arguing like a bunch of like 16 year old boys and um and one of the boys is crying he's like you motherfuckers you guys fucking fucked me with my dad like my dad says i have to be home in five minutes you fucked me and they're all like calm the fuck down dude shut the fuck up man stop being a pussy like just tell your fucking dad this and he's like i can't fucking say that and then like he's crying so hard that one of the kids Like, just tell your fucking dad this. And he's like, I can't fucking say that. And then like, he's crying so hard that one of the kids like kind of slams him up against the wall.

He's like, dude, calm down. He's like, get the fuck off me. It's your fault. And Charlie's like, fuck you. It's not my fault. And they start talking shit to each other. And there was so much emotion. I related to it so hard from when I was a kid.

I started crying. Whoa. Yeah. I was like, oh, dude, I can't take this. All these kids are in pain. They don't know how to like articulate how they're feeling it's all very normal stuff that they're going through and i'm like oh man life is so hard for like everybody and then um i get in the uber and he's like how's your night going i'm like ah dude i just got all like weird watching these kids

argue he's like he's like man that's a good thing that's compassion and then i was like i cried and he goes that's beautiful man you should cry that's compassion and he was super cool to me about it and then we drove home and we talked about like uh and then i i just kept talking about like how sad i am and or like i was talking about how sad i am and he's like what do you do what do you do for work i'm like i'm a comedian and then we just both started dying laughing that's hilarious that's the funniest thing i've heard all night that's and then we just had this like great talk about like richard pryor and shit and yeah, he was a great guy. Told me all about what Sinbad's up to.

And afterwards, I was like, I'm not shaking people's hands, but he goes, he's like, JT, it was good to meet you. And he sticks his hand in the back, and I'm just like, fuck it. And I grabbed it and shook it. Yeah, shake his hand. Fucking Schmoll just texted me about people shaking hands at the comedy store. He's like, everyone's shaking hands and touching their face. Yeah, Kevin's not going to get coronavirus he is he is the corona yeah he is yeah

should we should we call his ass real quick he probably calls coronavirus like all right chad who's your uh yeah yeah what do you want i'm a lawyer uh i think i know everything do you do the 2020 sandwich tip yet? Yeah, I'll give him a... Sorry, go ahead. Chad, what's your quote of the week? My quote of the week is from Love is Blind. This is the... What is it? Suck me?

I wish. I wish. It's when Damien Powers and Giannina Giabelli are up on... I forgot the name. What was the one on the walk down the aisle to the what? The altar. The altar.

Spell it. No kidding. A-L-T-A-R. Yeah, baby. They're on the altar. Spoiler alert for any stokers if you're deep into love is blind so but so giannina goes she's like will you take damien powers to be your husband is love blind she's like i do and then damien the camera cuts to damien and he's crying his eyes out. He's like. And then the person's like, do you take Giannina?

And he's like, I do not. No. I like that move by him. Oh, dude. It was a good move. I was proud of him. Wait, he said no? Yeah, he said, I do him. Oh, dude. It was a good move. I was proud of him. Wait, he said no? Yeah, he said, I do not.

Oh, nice. That's my quote. He had to do it. Joe, what's your quote of the week? You want us to come back to you? No, I'll find it right now. I don't know. Strider, what's your quote of the week?

My quote of the week is from a dang little movie I rewatched with my GF called Winter's Bone. Maybe you've heard of it. It's friggin' legit, dude. Even after we watched that movie, which is not meant to put one in the mood, maybe we had a little Winter's Bone ourselves. Oh, really? What up, dude? Because she likes a strong female protagonist. Bro, exactly. It's on protagonist bro exactly it's on hbo

and it's under movies written by women i was like let's go yeah you gotta dial that up and it's a great movie and guess what it's a little bit of slow it's a slow burn that movie it's a slow burn she was in dude eyelash is that his name in it uh teardrop teardrop john hawks oh my god dude and i want i was gonna do his his moment wait you gotta do his line wait i forget what he says but he's like is this gonna be our time? Yeah, that's it. 110 pounds soaking wet. And he'll put the fear of God in you.

A hundred percent. That's an actor. All those people, dude, the director, whoever directed that captures like cold on camera. So well, everyone's cold in that movie all the time. And they could have been shooting it in July. I don't know. I didn't see a great movie. Dude, I saw that movie in the morning.

And then later that night I saw it with you again you took me to see it yeah dude it's a great movie i was thinking about that just two days ago i was like man i can't believe i did that i could i couldn't do that today watch watch the same movie in the theaters twice the same day it's a lot yeah no but i just it was fun that okay my uh wait but no no my quote my quote oh sorry my it was gonna be it was gonna be john hawks' Is This Our Time? But Jennifer Lawrence's character has a great line where her neighbors are skinning a thing and they're starving. And her little sister's like, should we ask him for some? And she's like, you don't ask for something that should be offered.

And I was like, that's pretty nice, that message of just knowing from both ends. Of one, you've got to have your pride. And then from their end, too. Know when people need a little hand, you know. And didn't do it when they should. So I like that. It is a great line. Yeah.

My quote of the week is from Formula One, Drive to Survive. Oh, my gosh. It was a great show. Every champion has what I call an inner bastard inside of them. The ability to make the tough choice when you have to. It's all these teammates bro and they gotta sometimes bone their teammate but it makes for great drama dude they bone each other so much they basically teammates crash all the time dude sergio and esteban whose side do you

pick esteban because he comes from meager beginnings oh yeah sergio has the billionaire's endorsements the only reason he's still on the team. It's payola. Dude, and then Lewis Hamilton, who is the greatest Formula One driver in the world for the last decade. I asked our English friend Dan, I was like, do you like him? And he goes, no. He skipped town. He skipped

England to not pay taxes. And in England, they really frown on that. Like in America, I don't think we'd really judge our athletes too harshly for that. We probably figure they're doing that. But in England, you know, you owe it to the country to pay your taxes. And then he's done some other, he's done some other Tom Fuller. If you look up Lewis Hamilton, it's like his personality has like a huge section on Wikipedia. Anytime you have that, you know, they've been in some trouble. Yeah.

Yeah. And he scooters up. Like they always show him like they never like meshed up with like every other like guys like walking., they never, like, mesh up with, like, every other, like, guy's, like, walking. Like, they all have their, like, Carrera sunglasses, like, their Gucci bag, and they're, like, walking in. He's on a scooter always, dude. Oh, really? That's funny. Joe, you got yours?

Yeah, I did. I found a really nice one. This is from an unknown, actually. Never heard this. Life is like a camera. Just focus on what's important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't work out, just take another shot. Dude.

It's pretty good. Have you ever heard that one? No. Yeah, it's a nice quote. Who's it by? That fired me up. It says unknown. Oh, interesting.

I mean, someone had to say it, though. What do they mean, unknown? Yeah, probably some photographer or an AD or something like that. Sounds like Mr. Kodak. Yeah, definitely Mr. Kodak. Unknown. Well, can I put my name on it, then? Yeah.

I mean, is that up for grabs when it's unknown? How does that work? It's your quote this week. Done. Probably Yogi Berra. Do you know who made that quote? I do not. I do not.

Oh, I do not. I do not. I do not. I'm so sorry. Babe, no. No. Was that the girl who kind of looks like, slightly resembles Kate Upton? Yeah. Yeah.

What's your phrase of the week for getting after it?'re forgetting after it um let's turn out the lights nice strider what's your phrase that we're forgetting after it i was trying to do the rest of the song the refrain from that song what song dude turn out the lights who's that and then they have a part all right well um but that was supposed to be mine it's pretty bad you got you got one joe yeah what is it have a drink on me oh oh dude yeah because saturday i'm going out for the first time in a long time, so I'd like to buy a couple rounds. I'm coming with you, but we're not going to O'Shant. What's the one in Los Feliz? Yeah, I don't want to go there, but I'm going to go.

Yeah, I've got a couple things up my sleeve. Tom Bergen's, what's the name of the place? Yeah, that's one of the options, yeah. Are you going to go to Molly Malone's? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I'm going to make a couple stops at a few different places. Those local ones sound good. And then I'm going to make a couple stops at a few different places. Those local ones sound good. And then I'd like to end up here at Golden Road.

Oh, nice. That'd be cool. Yeah, it's a good spot. A friend of mine is having a little thing over there. What about Tuesday? Are you going out Tuesday on St. Patrick's? Yeah, that's probably going to be tough. Do you think it's going to be more depleted because of Corona?

Probably not. We'll see uh my phrase of the week from getting after it is from formula one drive to survive would you forget it um one of the drivers says hey fellas we got to get it together and we're gonna have to pull our fingers out and uh pull your finger doesn't even make any sense that's it's a phrase in england that they say pull your finger out and it means it means get prepared, get ready. And they mean out of your ass. It means pull your fingers out of your orifices. And it's old World War II talk, I guess.

It said, pull your finger out, get ready. And so I like that. Pull your finger out. I love that. All right, dudes. Guys, sorry we were late. Thanks for going late. Thanks for waiting.

Aaron, you're a legend, dude. Thank you so much, Aaron. Yeah, Aaron, thank you. God bless you. All right. It's not Formula two it's formula one dude let's go about later stokers write a review yeah write reviews i love them what is um is formula sometimes i feel like throw my hands up in the air i know i can't count on you sometimes i feel like saying lord i just don't care

but you've got the love i need to see me through sometimes it seems the going is just too rough and things go wrong no matter what I do Now and then it seems like life is just too much But you've got the love I need to see me through When food is gone you are my daily need When friends are gone I know my savior's love is real You know it's real You've got the love, you've got the love, you've got the love You've got the love, you've got the love, you've got the love Time after time I think, oh Lord, what's the use

Time after time I think it's just no good Sooner or later in life, the things you love you lose But you've got the love, no need to see me through You've got the love, you've got the love Sometimes I feel like All my head's up in the air Cause I know I think I want all of you Sometimes I feel like saying

Lord, I just don't care You got the love I need to see me through