Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 136 - Chad and JT
Episode Date: June 17, 2020What's up stokers?! This week we're back in the studio and amped on it. We talk about trees, the sun, and non nature stuff (being lazy and horny)!Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping ...with the code GODEEPWW at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion.
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put me on the pan oil me up and sizzle me daddy this is chad kroger back in the studio
with the going deep chat jt podcast
guys before we begin i'll remind you once again that we are brought to you by manscape manscape
thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure that our
dongs are looking fresh and clean because when you have new found hedges on your wall what do you do you take the lawnmower
3.0 and you test them out and guys i'm proud to say that all things comedy trimmed these hedges
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tested and it is good so use code go deep 20 manscape.com go deep 20 and manscape.com here with my compadre
jean thomas what up boom clap stokers and uh we're back in the studio back in the studio again
this feels nice it's good to be home he's got some new decorations we've got you know some shrubbery
a red curtain yeah and this tile right here i think that's uh from the baroque period
yeah or abstract expressionism oh yeah because the shapes yeah yeah that means shapes fractals i i
think when they studied jackson pollock's like drip paintings you know it just looks like squiggly
marks someone did like a measurement of the space between each squiggly mark and they said there
was like mathematical reason behind it wow yeah I don't know much about it but I watched that
Harris movie and he was a mean mean man was he a mean old cuss have you ever seen a Jackson Pollock
in person yeah at the MoMA it's awesome it's It's pretty cool, the size of it. Yeah. Yeah.
What if he was just, like, totally...
What if his painting was totally, like, incoherent?
You know, it was, like, didn't make sense at all.
Like, he's like, I don't know what I'm doing.
I'm just throwing paint on here. I think, yeah.
And everyone's just like, holy shit, this is insane.
This is the most brilliant thing I've ever seen.
He's like, really?
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, it's about a dog being born yeah i think it could be that that's the thing with modern art
you're always like if i can't see the idea in what i'm looking at is it really actually that good
yeah but then there's enough people staring at it where you're like it's fire but i love i love
going to the museum that's about for sure yeah yeah it's uh it's tiring yeah car shows are tiring too oh yeah look
at a thousand bright colored cars yeah after a couple hours like i need a fucking break it
normalizes them a little bit where you know you're like i feel you gotta space them out you know keep
them in different rooms absolutely so you get that nice rush of like whoa that's an
insane car as opposed to them all being lined up together and it's interesting what you're saying
about jackson pollack too it's like is it like are we projecting onto it more um significance
than actually in the work and it's like it's hard to tell with this stuff like you and i were just
talking about how we're we're when we do scripted stuff you can look at the words after a while and
you're like i'm just talking in gibberish.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What am I even saying?
Well, it's like you start a word, you know, like cloud for, you know, you just keep saying
cloud, cloud, cloud.
Then you're like, what the fuck?
Why does it sound like that?
Yeah.
Why does cloud sound like that?
I actually like cloud.
It's like a nice sounding word.
It reminds me of dessert
yeah cloud how's that how's that cheesecake cloudy yeah that's nice it reminds me of like
whipped cream it feels like a nice texture yeah yeah cloud cloud as a word has a nice texture
yeah you just want to take a fork softly into it yeah yeah and maybe because clouds look like
whipped cream yeah they're so pretty up there in the sky. I want to eat them. I do too. We should make a restaurant
like a dessert bakery where you
eat clouds. Yeah.
That fires me up. My brother and I always
talk about too, like clouds, you just want
to kind of like gently sink your teeth
into them, you know, and cut through it like cotton candy.
And then when you see a cake, like a
big cake, you just want to sit on it.
Oh, sit on it? You want to sit on it.
I've never had that. Oh, you never had that? When you look at a cake, you just want to... I just want to sit on it oh sit on it you want to sit on it i've never had that oh you
never had that when you look at a cake you just want to i just want to put my face in it oh well
similar yeah yeah just different i just i just always want to press my my naked rear onto it
interesting yeah maybe i'll think about that the next time i see a cake mix it up yeah and then
talk last time about little puppies when they have such a cute little ugly face you want to
bite their face you just want to bite it i guess that's a real phenomenon is it yeah there's like a word for it and everything
yeah cutie puppy bitey facey i love puppies yeah me too um i want to get a dog me too
yeah i just have to i have to find the right time maybe maybe i just need to pull the trigger and do
it yes but it's like back yourself i'm thinking about all the factors of like taking care of it and stuff.
That's smart.
Yeah.
But sometimes I think we overthink that stuff,
you know,
and you just got to roll the dice and,
and jump head first into it.
Right.
Yeah.
I think you can think your way out of it a thousand times over,
but with stuff like that,
you just got to pull the trigger and do it.
Like every person who's ever been present,
it could have been like,
could have talked himself out of it so easily.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And,
but they are all just like,
no,
I'm just going to keep going one foot in front of the other.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wonder what that's like.
To decide to be president.
That and to be president.
Oh dude.
I think it's a unique experience for each of them.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah. I wonder if you're like, first off, you're like, Holy shit. I think it's a unique experience for each of them, right? Yeah. Yeah.
I wonder if you're like, first off, you're like, holy shit, I did it.
Then you start doing it and then all the criticism starts flowing your way.
Yeah. All these big decisions.
Then decisions that you never thought you'd have to answer or decide on,
that where lives are at stake.
And you're like, dude, I just wanted to get
laid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I think that's at the core of why people do.
They want to get laid.
A couple of them for sure.
But not to get laid, but like to, they want power and they just, they want that feeling
of like being like the top guy.
Yeah.
I think there's that.
I think some of them feel like they could be
that they're worried about that they justify to themselves are like well i don't really want power
but i can't let this other person have the power because i know they'll do worse things with it so
yeah it's my duty because i know i'll be responsible with the power to take that role
but that's dicey psychology to get into yeah you know yeah but but with some of them i think they
can actually do it yeah like wield Yeah. Like wield it responsibly.
Yeah.
Which is so tough.
That's like in Black Panther.
When they fight as humans, when they're drained of their Black Panther power,
Warmonger beats T'Challa.
Right.
But then when they both have the power, T'Challa beats Warmonger.
Because when they have the king power, T'Challa is more, he's better with it.
Interesting.
Yeah.
He has the power. He can handle being king. being king yeah yeah that's a great movie that's
how i read yeah it's so good yeah i uh yeah i think i think some some presidents probably
genuinely want to make a difference but it would be interesting to sort of if we could have like
a reader on like what are your true intentions like yeah like what are your motivations why do
you want to do this yeah the guy's like i'm just horny
what else dude how you been i've been good uh i've been surfing a lot working on different stuff
um watching a lot of simpsons watching some you know documentaries on the universe
nice reading books dude i've been trying to to get a handle on my you know uh
compulsiveness in the drill factory oh cool man you know just try and uh engage in a little bit
of temperance yeah um yeah dude i heard about this thing where it's like if you if you're able to like
master those impulses because that's like sex energy is like the most intense
yeah and like that'll that's the biggest motivator you can do anything with that essentially so if
you can harness that into other stuff that's when you can really sort of like build build build
worlds i agree and i've been trying to wrap my head around it's i've been
trying to wrap my head around that like how do you actually do that because i've heard i've heard
like they're like if you have those thoughts of like expressing yourself physically in a sexual
way you you take those thoughts you take that energy and you apply it to something else like
if you're writing a book or something right which i don't really understand how you do that energy and you apply it to something else. Like if you're writing a book or something.
Right.
Which I don't really understand how you do that,
but I'm trying to figure it out.
No, I feel that.
I feel that.
Like when I was like really deep into my webcam issues and I was watching like five hours a day of webcam porn.
And then it all kind of came crashing down.
I was using my parents' money on it.
They got all pissed off, justifiably so.
And then so I stopped watching for a couple weeks.
And I remember I'd be doing stand-up or at work, and people were like,
dude, you have immense energy right now.
And they were like, this is the most alive I've ever seen you.
And it took all that need to bust out.
People say that about Robert Downey Jr., that what makes him such a compelling actor is that they feel like they can see when he's on camera they can feel
his energy that he wants to do drugs and they can see him wrestling with it right and it gives him
more energy on camera like yeah he's exploding when you look at him's so um what's the goddamn word i don't know it's so hard to wrap your mind around
like how to actually like convert it because how do you know you're doing it because i think a lot
of it is unconscious yeah for sure um but it's an interesting thing to practice.
I catch those moments for sure when I'm being too horny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And are you able to redirect it into something or are you?
No, I just mean, I meant just more like the subconscious part where you like just kind
of shake your head and you're like, whoa, I was horny there for a sec.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I remember my ex had a UTI and if she like skipped a day of medicine, that meant
we would have to wait another
day before we could have sex. And we were at my apartment and it was like midnight. And I was like,
you don't have your UTI medicine? And she was like, no, I'll just wait till tomorrow to take
it. I was like, let's drive to your apartment now and get it. And then she was like, no,
I don't want to. And I was like, I think we should go now. And then she literally goes,
JT, I don't like the look in your eyes right now. And I was like, I'm sorry.
I'm too horny.
I'm very, very intensely horny.
It's tough when you're too horny.
Yeah.
But if you can channel that into something, you know, like building a house, it's going to be a sick house.
And you know what else, too? I just had this experience.
The nice young lady that I'm hanging out with now, who gleaked on my face i told you about that we'd been in an argument a
couple days before and then we were hanging out and we were kind of tentative around each other
because it was there was still some residual awkwardness and then we're finally loosening up
and then we're being playful and she's like do you want to see something cool i'm like yeah sure
and then she pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth and spit a stream of spit on my face
um and i was so fucking pissed.
I was like, why did you do that?
She's like, don't make a big deal of it.
It's fun.
I was like, if you were a guy, I'd fight you.
And then she couldn't believe I was frustrated about it.
She's a little younger than me.
But she's awesome.
And we were hanging out yesterday.
And I was just thinking, I was like, she's like, hey, what do you want to do?
It was like 7 o'clock. And I was like, I just wanted her to come over and we could watch some yesterday and I was just thinking, I was like, she's like, Hey, what do you want to do? Like, it was like seven o'clock.
And I was like,
I just wanted her to come over and like we could watch some TV and hook up.
She's like, no, I want to do something.
And then we ended up going for a drive down the coast and then jumping into
the water and then getting in and out and, and smoking some of her vape.
And then I think that made hooking up a lot more fun.
Cause we had both had fun together. Right?
Like sometimes I think we get lazy and we're just like,
oh, just come over and we'll hook up.
But like if you actually go have fun together and like do like activities together,
it makes the hooking up way more fun because you're like,
I don't know what it is.
It's just like you feel more connected.
You share this thing.
Yeah.
And you're just more excited to bone.
I think what precedes the boning affects the boning a lot.
Yeah, and it's like you don't want to get into a default
where it's like, all right, it's sort of methodical.
Like, all right, now is where we bone.
There's no spontaneity.
It's boring.
Yeah, and I really believe when you're going out,
taking action, doing stuff, even when you don't want to,
it just invigorates you.
Yeah.
And makes everything better.
Even though there's times when you just have to force it.
Yeah, you do.
You don't want to do it.
Yeah.
I was like, I don't want to do that.
I'm tired.
I just want to hang out.
But then once you start doing it, you're like, oh, this is the best.
Yeah.
And that's a weird thing in our brains.
It's like, no, I don't want to do that.
Why do I have to do that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You get, like, resentful that you have to go have fun it's like you're having fun just go do it yeah yeah
you gotta think about all the effort it takes yeah and i think it's harder too with like the
cutene and stuff because like you know i'm so used to just sitting on my couch like
18 hours out of the day and then so when i actually go do stuff it's just like you know
it's like oh yeah i gotta put
on pants all that all that stuff and we feel justified in staying home where it's like no i'm
being safe yeah you know what i mean i'm a good boy i'm a good boy i stay safe i protect others
i don't go outside yeah yeah yeah it's like all right do you really believe that or is that just
like a kind of convenient uh circumstance yeah yeah she's really cool though she's really fun super smart
that's great yeah she's cool um even though she gleaked on me she might be mad i talked about it
does she listen uh i don't know i think i think she said she tried
uh what else is going on dude dude so you know it's been a crazy time in a in america right now
uh we're going through a lot of changes and uh you know i think a lot know it's been a crazy time in a in america right now uh we're
going through a lot of changes and uh you know i think a lot of it's good i'm pumped on it the the
protesting and the change and the united front that that we're surrounded by that that i think
is fighting for good but i've also been just like overwhelmed by the amount of like corporate
backing up of the cause you know what i mean mean? Like corporations being like, we're on board with this.
Call of Duty.
Yeah.
Have you noticed that?
Yeah.
It's just straight up.
It's like, before you play this game, reminder, Black Lives Matter.
Yeah.
And you're like, thank you.
Well, I also think they're hitting a demo that needs to hear it.
Of all the companies that are reaching out to demos that need to hear it,
I think Call of Duty is the most, yeah, that's the audience that needs to hear it. Yeah. Before companies that are reaching out to demos that need to hear it, I think Call of Duty is the most, yeah,
that's the audience that needs to hear it.
Before they go into the war zone,
remember that there's a unity that's even more
important than your war zone team.
It's like, take the energy you have
for your squad in the zone,
in Verdansk, and bring that
out into the world.
I think my favorite is Peloton, dude.
Right. I've heard about this
dude it's insane yeah because the instructors are talking about it yeah and they really get
into it you know what i mean especially the african-american ones and it fucking
it's not about me but it makes me pedal my fucking ass off dude my output's insane really yeah
they'll be like do you feel discomfort you should feel discomfort that's why for the last two minutes of this bike ride, I'm not going to tell you how hard to push.
I want you to choose to live in that discomfort.
Will you make that choice?
And I'm like, ah, ah.
Yeah.
And just like shredding my, yeah.
Your quads?
My quads, yeah.
Glutes?
My glutes, dude.
Yeah.
And it's really getting me pumped up.
They're making me pedal like a motherfucker.
Yeah.
It's very inspiring it's so weird to like be being inspired about this huge
social change that's happening in our country virtually through a bicycle right yeah um
yeah that's awesome though i didn't realize they updated those classes that often oh yeah that's
cool so i've like literally watched the situation
evolve yeah through the eyes of my peloton instructor yeah and this corporation's helping
me stay connected to what's going on it is pretty uh it's pretty amazing to see like how
you know how widespread it is like it's it's everywhere oh yeah i mean surf company and you know there's
like surf companies there's like almost every type of company has something about you know
this whole change and stuff social change and it's really inspiring and it's um it's interesting to
see i've just been following surf companies you know and they're kind of getting on each other's
ass so like if you haven't spoken up yet
your silence is
violence
so speak up Hurley
I don't want to say Hurley because I think Hurley spoke up
and I love Hurley
but say something
I think
speak up no fear
what's going on no fear
we've been out of business for 20 years.
Yeah.
We got to.
That's no excuse.
Say something.
I'll fight you.
No fear.
You're going to fight.
No fear.
Yeah.
That's a losing proposition.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No fear has a fear of standing up for what's right.
They should lean into it.
Yeah.
It's also it's I'm a little suspicious of some of them like Amazon.
I thought I thought that guy from the Hill who was on Joe Rog it's i'm a little suspicious of some of them like amazon i thought i thought that
guy from the hill who was on joe rogan's podcast made a good point where they're like amazon loves
that the conversations about black lives matter right now because that means no one's focusing
on like their immense greed and how they undercut like small businesses and how you know they have
unfair working conditions for their factory people they're like yeah so let's just keep
talking about this other thing and then yeah yeah and we'll get good press for that without anybody really investigating us for our misdeeds yeah they
fired they fired the black guy who was trying to form a union because they weren't providing ppe
oh really yeah um dude did you see that apparently 10 of the jobs brought back in the economy have been in the dental profession yeah that's interesting dentistry's come back strong dude you know
people have had their doubts people have tried to hate on it they're like dude fuck the dentist
i'm never going back and dentist is always just waiting there just like dude you'll be back you
it was like it felt like the first thing a lot of people did like so many people i talked to
they're like look i'm getting back out there i'm living my life i
went to the dentist the other right yeah yeah and it's interesting too with covid because
yeah you're opening your mouth i mean those respiratory droplets are freaking flying yeah
you're putting yourself in the danger zone yeah especially when they're drilling yeah i mean it
flies up there's no protection from that. Nah. So, yeah, that's interesting.
Yeah, my dad wanted me to be a dentist.
I remember you telling me that.
Yeah, and I was like, Dad, you know, I spoke.
He's like, look, Chad, it's a good lifestyle.
You know, you have your own schedule.
You can go live in Santa Cruz and just, like, surf and then fill cavities.
I'm like, Dad, I'm a stoke lord.
Nothing drains stoke more than a trip to the dentist.
Yeah.
And he's coming around now, but he's just looking out for me.
Why did he want you to be a dentist?
He just thinks they have a great lifestyle, essentially.
I mean, you earn a good living.
Your hours aren't bad
you know you can pretty much set your own schedule and so it's not overwhelming unlike surgery which
is just like you know a hundred hours a week plus yeah dentistry you know you can mellow out a little
bit and uh people are always gonna have to have their teeth worked on so he always thinks about that too he's like what's going to be around in 100 years still dentistry
entertainment what people do what do people still invest in during the great depression
entertainment something else i forget yeah well i feel like teeth there's no way technology is
going to subvert teeth, right?
Yeah.
Or the way we take care of teeth.
Right.
I don't like, can robots do that?
That's like the last robot job as a dentist.
Yeah, I wouldn't want a robot going in there.
Ah, that hurts.
Doesn't even hear me.
It just keeps drilling deeper.
I'm like, get off me get off me igor
i'll put you in a fucking headlock yeah and i like the the charisma of the dentist too because
they're like here comes mr bumpy and you know for the longest time i thought mr bumpy was my friend
i didn't realize it was drilling into my goddamn molar yeah dude i remember when they used to put
the thing into i'm a mouth breather when they to put the thing into... I'm a mouth breather.
When they'd put the thing in to measure your mouth, you know, the clay?
And they'd stick it in there and I'd go...
And I'd choke.
And they'd be like...
It took me forever to learn how to breathe.
And what I had to do was just pant like a dog.
And then I could handle it.
But for years, I just...
Get it out!
Dude, that was the worst. And then they'd pull it off. You years, I was like, get it out. Dude, that was the worst.
And then they pull it off.
You can pull my teeth off.
Yeah, that was the worst.
What are you going to tell?
So your dad told you to be a dentist.
What do you think you'll tell your kids to do?
Dude, I've never thought about that.
I don't know.
Would you encourage, if your son was like, I i'm gonna be a stoke lord
but no but first what do you think what do you think i'd be like being your own man
oh nice but be a stoke lord but be your own stoke stoke lord yeah like come up with your own phrase
yeah well i'd test i'd be like are you stoked like are you just saying it or are you stoked
and you'd have to prove it to me i think that's big
coming up with your own words for stuff yeah someone called me a cuck and a simp the other day
yeah and then he said maga and i was like i think it's a little cucky to say maga because you're
using somebody else's catchphrase yeah i was like i think that's a little beta yeah yeah that's what
you call it beta nice yeah he's like you're beta and then he threw a bunch of like you know uh
trumpisms i mean i was like you're using other And then he threw a bunch of like, you know, Trumpisms at me.
And I was like, you're using other guys' words.
Yeah.
Like, that's beta.
Simp is the simpest word to use.
That's what I think too.
Yeah.
I hate it.
Yeah.
I don't like simp either.
No.
I'm a total simp.
But I don't like, I'm, that's how I de-simp myself, is just by accepting my simp.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What does simp mean?
You like, you kiss girls' asses?
Apparently, yeah. It's got me a break. It's like you simp. Yeah. Yeah. What does simp mean? You like, you kiss girls' asses? Apparently, yeah.
It's got me a break.
It's like you're whipped.
Yeah.
You mean like every human being
that's ever lived for a portion of their life?
Yeah.
Or a good majority of it?
Yeah.
Or all of it?
Ever heard of John Lennon?
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Imagine all the simps
living to serve their wives.
Dude, I think maybe I'll tell my kids to go into medicine.
Yeah?
I think they'd be badass surgeons.
You know, it just goes back and forth.
You know, my dad was a surgeon.
I'm a stoke lord.
My kids will be surgeons. Then they'll give birth to stoke lords yeah i you know but maybe they'll follow in the in the footsteps of their dad yeah i think i'll tell my kid to be a captain on a
submarine dude that that's what i should have said like something on the sea go out to sea be a
captain be a captain of a boat or a
submarine doesn't have to be a military submarine just get a submarine put a crew together get out
there but why submarine you want them to explore the depths where people haven't gone before yeah
and i want them to i feel like you got to have a tough mental constitution to be a submarine guy
because you can't bail yeah you know what i mean right
maybe dude maybe it goes real deep dude because that's like my biggest fear is not having a
escape you know what i mean yeah feeling trapped right so i'm like hey can you fix what i got by
doing the thing that scares me most you should do it yeah a lot of pressure to put on my little
kiddo but you'll figure it out yeah toboggan that's what i'm naming
my son toboggan yeah yeah i want my kid to have this old you know this many ages to have this
weathered salty look like yeah like he knows the sea i think that's the coolest thing when people
have this specialized knowledge of like the sea or like you know bowls or something yeah or like freaking moose yeah i know everything
about moose and yeah you're like damn dude i didn't know that about antlers and they're like
freaking yeah yeah they're detailed about it yeah yeah that's cool yeah i think i that's one thing i
always kind of regret growing up i didn't i didn't like specialize my knowledge that much but i think for what i'm
doing now what i did was right yeah range like epstein said yeah yeah is his name epstein
yeah yeah david epstein right no relation did you watch that yet no the view that what was that
epstein documentary called everyone's a molester something like filthy rich everyone's a molester i think yeah i haven't watched it yet i don't really like watching
stuff like that me neither yeah like i i i try to watch stuff that boosts my stoke yeah and and
it's like i have a vague understanding of what happened and what is my knowledge of this whole
thing how is that going to help anyone yeah no it? Yeah. It's not like you're learning about things like racism or something where you can learn about it and sort of be an ally.
This is just like, this dude was a creep.
Let's do a deep dive into it.
And I'm like, I don't know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's a good call.
Like, if I watch that,
am I gonna come away and be like,
yeah, man, you know, I dislike molesters.
It's like, yeah, of course.
Yeah.
Yeah, what else was I gonna say?
That was it.
Dude, Disney World is open.
Mm-hmm.
That's gotta, you fired up about that?
I'm fired up, dude.
I wanna go.
You gonna go? No, I'm fired up, dude. I want to go. You going to go?
No, I'll wait for Disneyland.
Hopefully it's right around the corner, right?
I do love Disney World, though.
They have so many resorts, you know?
It's like, which one am I going to stay at now?
I stayed at Boardwalk last time.
Maybe I'll do...
I stayed at Boardwalk once, yeah.
Boardwalk's cool.
It's a good city.
There's one...
I keep thinking it's called Tropicana,
but I'm like, no, that's Orange Juice. Yeah. But there's another hotel thinking it's called like tropicana but i'm like no that's orange juice
yeah um but there's another hotel where it's like it's you have like villas or something like you're
in tahiti or something oh that's fun a little more of a tropical vibe that's cool i love renting
little boats there yeah take them on the water yeah yeah it's fun to be that's back to the boat
thing yeah that's what i was gonna say what is they they're always like
the sun's bad for you yeah and then i go okay but we talked to rob machado he's like in his late
40s now he looks incredible right kelly slater looks incredible right if you combine the sun
with the salt water all these surfers look amazing go down to orange county everyone looks amazing
yeah yeah i mean i've been surfing every day, and when I get out, my skin feels amazing.
Like, the inflammation feels like there's less of it.
Yeah.
Then you get the sun on top of it.
It boosts your stoke with vitamin D.
I mean, yeah.
I guess just don't overdo it.
Everything in moderation.
But then they're saying about coronavirus, vitamin D.
You know, vitamin D is the coronavirus, vitamin D, you know,
vitamin D is the biggest indicator of whether,
you know,
if you have low vitamin D levels, then you'll probably have more serious symptoms.
I've been fucking swallowing vitamin D down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
2000 I use a day.
Nice.
Plus sun.
Plus sun.
Cause I got it low.
I got my blood work done a couple of times and it's low.
Really?
Yeah.
I guess it's low for a lot of people.
Yeah.
But, uh, yeah, my vitamin levels are soft.
Tough.
But, yeah, you look good.
Thank you, man.
They say at Disney World, too, they're using stormtroopers to do the social distancing.
Yeah.
That's who they've deputized to take care of that.
So when you walk through, they kind of get jokey, but they're like, nice mask. Keep your distance.
Yeah.
It's a stormtrooper.
Yeah.
I kind of go both ways on that.
First off, on the one hand, I love it because it's like I would love to get shamed by a stormtrooper.
But on the other hand, you know, they're kind of creating the empire.
Yeah.
For real.
Right.
Oh, yeah.
Are those the wrong representatives for why social distancing is
important because then it could actually serve people's fears that the government's just trying
to control us they're like i told you the government's trying it's the stormtroopers
doing it yeah weird yeah yeah maybe it should be the allies the rebels yeah or jedi yeah they're
like keep your distance it will keep us safe against the empire like okay yeah let's spread
out yeah yeah and then they enact like a whole
fight with the stormtroopers.
But somehow link social distancing to it.
Stay a lightsaber away, my
friend. Yeah.
They should have had those guys doing it instead of the villains.
Good call. Dude, we read kind of
a bummer article that trees worldwide
based off satellite imaging are getting
shorter and younger, which is not
good because the taller they are,
the more space they got for little critters,
and also the more carbon dioxide they can eat up
and the more oxygen they can boost out.
Yeah.
Dude.
Worried about the trees.
We got to save the trees.
And then they say when a big tree dies.
I didn't know this.
Did you read this?
When the big tree dies,
it releases all the carbon dioxide that it had been sheltering.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
That must be a ton.
A ton.
It's bad.
Damn.
But then we read an article that had some good tree news, which is that now people are
doing something where they'll mix your ashes when you die with a tree, and then your family
can plant you, and your grave is the tree you become.
What tree would you be?
Dude.
Big ass green one with tons of branches.
Maybe a weeping lilo.
It's the only tree I know.
Fuck, I don't know.
What are some other good trees?
A pine tree?
No.
You want to hear what mine would be?
Yes.
Freaking palm tree.
Dude, good call.
Huge.
Sucking in all that water, dude.
Yeah, and I have big nuts at the top.
Yep.
And a big fucking trunk.
Yep, you got a strong base, dude.
Yeah, squats and cool flow at the top.
I think that's such a good call for what to do with a dead person.
I think a tree is way doper than a regular gravestone.
It's like they're still alive.
Yeah, exactly, and they're giving back.
It's like even in their afterlife, they're're they're they're helping yeah you know it's nice i wonder if like
i could sell like people i know on it you know let me make you into a tree dude come on please
yeah no just bury me regular i'm like no dude you're gonna be a tree you can sell me on it
okay you want to be a tree i'll sign something fuck. Fuck yeah. As long as I'm a palm tree or an avocado tree.
Where do you want us to put you?
Oh, good question.
Ooh, at an In-N-Out?
Yeah.
At an In-N-Out looking at the beach.
Or Frontierland. No, i don't like frontierland or tomorrowland and disneyland dude nice or yeah the stormtroopers are gonna be on my ass but i'll
make sure you get planted dude i got your back 100 aaron what tree would you be
100 percent aaron what tree would you be oh uh man i don't know it's tough to know trees dude not many people know trees yeah i guess like a redwood dude you want to be big huh i mean i am
big oh beast mode yeah cardinals they're red what the hell stan hell? Stanford Cardinal. Dude. That'd be cool.
That's really cool.
You know, you could become the kind of redwood like that one in Northern California where
it has like a hole in it so you can drive through it.
You can do that?
That's cool.
Yeah.
If you want.
There needs to be a movie like action chase through one of those.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or the trees alive like the trees
in Lord of the Rings.
What are those things called?
Ents.
They're called Ents?
Ents, dude.
Yeah.
Or what about like
maple or ash?
You become a tree
and then eventually
get made into a baseball bat.
That'd be kind of cool for me.
That's awesome, dude.
That's cool.
But no cork.
No cork.
No.
Dude, and then we read another article that planning a vacation boosts your mental health.
That if you know you got a vacation on the books coming up, you'll be in a better mood.
It's so true.
It's so true.
Yeah.
We should plan a vacation right now.
That's what I'm saying.
We should always have a vacation on the books.
And I've actually been thinking about that because I stayed at my mom's in Orange County
and then I stayed at my dad's in Montana.
And it made me kind of want to leave LA
because there's, there's, there's things in those places that you can't duplicate in LA. You know
what I mean? Like the space, the open air, the lack of urgency and anxiety. It's just, it's,
that's not LA and LA is great, but it's not LA. So I was like, maybe I should move from LA. And
it's like, I can't move from LA. This is like my whole life. But I was like, but you can leave LA,
just go on the weekend, go camping and stuff.
I've never been into that.
I've always just like hung around, but I think I need to start leaving town more.
Camping sounds fun.
I haven't done that in like 20 years.
I'm doing it.
Yeah.
Let's do it.
I haven't done it since I was like six.
I did it at Coachella.
Oh, you did?
Oh, right.
Oh, I did that too.
Yeah.
That's fun.
It is fun.
Wake up with like the driest mouth in history.
You're just like.
Yeah.
And then the showers too.
Did you ever go in the shower?
You did?
Yeah.
I always look like such a long line.
It was fun just to go like do the ritual with everybody and run into other people and joke
around with your friends, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like run around behind everybody and be like, Greg, give me that loofah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What kind of vacation can we plan?
I mean, I have so many places I want to go.
I want to go to the Maldives, if that's how you say it.
I want to go to Hawaii.
I want to go to Disney World.
I want to go to Vegas.
I want to go to Paris.
I want to go to London.
I want to go to Italy.
Dude, those are great. I want to go to... What do you want to do to paris i want to go to london i want to go to italy dude those are great i want to go to what do you want to do in italy
getting a gondola and no that's not called gondola yeah no yeah the boat yeah it's called
gondola for sure oh sick uh getting a gondola and just stare at my love nice very romantic and i'll
probably wear like a banana republic sweater while i do it just you know play the part no
dude i'll be in italy i'll wear like a you know like a velvet button up but not button it up
right and then like a fucking beret yeah dude a button-up shirt where you just
leave it open yeah like 90 degrees style yeah that's like the ultimate male sex appeal yeah
i'm just picturing them right now yeah they're like guys this is what your outfit's gonna be
and do you think any of them were like really no no i think they were like i think they told I'm just picturing them right now. Yeah. They're like, guys, this is what your outfit's going to be.
Do you think any of them were like, really?
No, I think they told them what it was going to be.
Yeah.
I thought it was cool as fuck.
I remember being a kid and being like, that's hot.
That's the look.
That's what we're all working towards.
Got to have some pecs to pull it off, though.
Yeah.
Some kind of tattoo on your chest or stomach somewhere.
Yeah. Yeah. It's a feeling. It's a vibe. It's a vibe. I can't say that. bullet off though yeah some kind of tattoo on your chest or stomach somewhere yeah yeah
it's a feeling it's a vibe it's a vibe i can't say that i'm cutting that what's a vacation that you
want to plan i'm trying to plan a camping trip right now i want to do that but i'm like
i'm like thinking i might glamp but then i'm like no go all the way with it don't don't go to some
like decked out RV.
Like just get in a tent and just experience nature.
I think I need to get in touch with nature.
I don't like nature.
That's my dirty secret.
Really?
I don't like nature that much.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Get in a tent, dude.
I got to get in a tent.
Feel it.
Yeah.
Because I know there's going to be growth there, you know?
Yeah.
And then I want to go to Australia.
I want to go to Austin because I've never really spent a lot of time in Austin.
I'd like to go to Denver.
Yeah, kind of cool towns like that, you know?
Not the big cities, but like the kind of hip cities where the places where everyone who lives there seems happy.
Right.
You know what I mean?
I want to go to those places.
Yeah.
Colombia.
I need to go to Colombia.
I haven't been there since I was four.
Yeah.
Yeah.
See my familia.
Get into my origins.
You know?
Mm-hmm.
I could come back Juan Tomas full on.
Totally.
Full blown.
Yeah.
And then, yeah.
I think those are the main spots.
Yeah.
And then, yeah, I think those are the main spots.
Dude, we also, we heard that Dan Bilzerian has a book coming out,
and they actually sent some sample sections to Chad and I to read on the podcast to help promote it.
So this was sent to us from his book publisher.
And, yeah, we're really excited to read what he has to say.
He's obviously lived an interesting life,
and I think his book's going to be pretty compelling.
What was the chapter they sent you?
Or what's it, blurb?
Yeah, I'll just read it out.
And thank you so much to Dan Bilzerian's people.
You guys are amazing, and I'm so stoked to read this blurb
I looked at my Humvee
in armory
oh my voice just cracked
I need to take that again
I can't do a Dan Bilzerian book and have my voice crack
no
I looked at the Humvee in armory
a simple thought came into my dome
more guns if I'm going to influence I need more guns I looked at the Humvee in armory. A simple thought came into my dome. More guns.
If I'm going to influence, I need more guns.
Also, the infinity pool I built is so sick.
I learned a valuable life lesson.
Ragers are so freaking cool.
If I can shoot guns and hold lots of ragers,
I think I'll become an inspiring figure for the youth.
Wow.
That's pretty powerful. Yeah, I think that was a really,
you know, that was when it all changed for him. That was, that was the come to Jesus moment where
he really saw where he needed to go with his life. Yeah. That's awesome. Um, so this is the one they
sent me. Um, it was Sunday, I think I wanted Brandy to ride in my dune buggy. She was angry
though and ran and rode with the bang energy guys. I guess that morning Brandy to ride in my dune buggy. She was angry though and rode with the Bang Energy
guys. I guess that morning Brandy had turned over in bed and wanted to ask me why I gave a new
espresso machine to Claire instead of her, but she couldn't get to me without rolling on top of
either Claire or Tatiana's bodies. That's always how it goes, right? When you live this lifestyle,
it can be impossible for people to reach you. She ended up riding in a different dune buggy for the
rest of the trip. I sometimes wonder what could have gone different. What if I had been alone in
bed and she'd been able to ask me about the espresso machine and I'd been able to say the
truth. That I gave the espresso machine to Claire because I didn't think it was a big deal. Because
I didn't know what an espresso machine was. Growing up, my nanny always called it go-go juice.
Had it been called a go-go juice machine,
I wouldn't have given it to anyone.
I would have kept it forever,
so I could always be reminded of Consuela.
Maybe then Brandy and I would have ridden together
and sprayed sand.
She'll always be the girl I wish I'd fixed my scopes on,
checked the wind and cocked the hammer,
and let a.50 caliber round blast from my dong
straight into her butt.
And I wish it
stayed there forever wow did that why did they send you such a larger one than mine i don't know
dude dan's uh you know i think we see his life and we think it's easy but obviously there's
complications with any lifestyle right yeah no matter how enviable it looks i uh and then he
wanted people to name his book that was a question he threw out on his instagram right
do you have a did you have a working title uh i gotta think of it
i i have one it's um misunderstood around the world in 80 babes
um mass missionary ass sex stuff wow that's cool i think i just came up with one uh
trigger sappy the guns that make me feel yeah i'm excited generally i will read that i will read his book and after you know after these
these little excerpts that they sent us i'm really excited to see what the rest of it says
um chad should we answer some questions uh yeahF help. What up my guys?
My name is Ted and I'm a huge fan and I've been listening since Epi one with every new Epi.
My stoke gets raised to unprecedented levels.
So onto a little situation I would like some advice on.
I've been dating this girl for like three years and the entire time she has been battling mental health issues and working through childhood trauma.
Every so often she gets very irritable and basically tries to break up with me for dumb ass reasons.
We've always worked through it and stay together because it's obvious she doesn't fully want me out of her life. It's become very stressful for me and I've almost
called it quits a few times, but I'm madly in love with this woman and just keep thinking that she's
going to work through her issues. She's very codependent on me and I help her with a lot of
things in her life. She knows I do pretty much anything for her, but when she gets in these
irritable moods, she lashes out at me and says I don't do enough for her.
She recently moved out of her parents and got a decent job and is claiming that she's outgrowing me, which I've had a good job and moved out of my parents eight years ago and I'm doing pretty well for myself.
She's honestly not even close to my level of growth yet.
I can't imagine my life without her, but I'm not sure how much longer this relationship could last should i keep trying to should i keep trying to keep her around or should
i cut myself loose cut myself loose thanks and advice thanks in advance for any insight on this
situation um yeah i mean i i think you know the answer and um you know i think
i mean i don't i you know people talk about when they get married they like know for sure but i
think if you're i it's tough to to you know when you have have such strong feelings for someone, but you know that they're probably not the best person for you in terms of making your life better and bigger.
Right.
is more of a burden and and brings you down um more so than it brings you joy and you know helps you grow as a person and inspires you to to you know be better want to create a better life i think
i think the move is probably to cut one loose um you know, it's tough.
But I think it's sort of like that saying that Warren Buffet says,
you know, like you're the average of the five people you kick it with the most.
It's real.
And, you know, if you're kicking it with someone who's not on your level of growth
and who sort of seems to bring you down a notch,
then I think you need to reconsider.
Yeah. bring you down a notch then anything you need to reconsider yeah yeah it's hard to it's hard to say because we didn't get much else from the relationship other than the difficulties you
have to endure in it you know what i mean it seems like your full time your full-time job
in the relationship is to keep her steady and to look out for her and in some ways you know
we can get a lot of meaning out of that,
but it kind of keeps us from living our own life
when we're just constantly focused on trying to help someone else
be the best version of themselves.
And then you get kind of competitive with her at the end,
which she kind of initiated by saying that she's outgrowing you.
And then you say, she's honestly not even close to my level of growth yet.
I don't think you want to be thinking about things in those terms.
You know what I mean?
Because then it can almost be like
you always want her to be the one who's kind of a mess
because then it kind of makes you feel better about yourself.
You constantly feel like you're the one lifting her up.
And that's not fair for either of you guys.
I mean, I think it's cool, though,
that you want to see her do well
and that you feel so committed to her.
But yeah, if there's not more to the relationship than that, if there's not a lot of joy and fun and inspiration and love and support,
and if there's not a lot of steady times to go along with these more chaotic times, then I think you got to bail for both of you.
Because she could get a lot better without you.
She'll have to rely on herself more. She'll have to do more internalization, looking at herself and, and
that could help her a lot and you a lot too. Cause then you'll, you'll be like, all right,
well, who am I if I'm not always helping this person? And, uh, I've been in that situation
where you're kind of the one who's always assuaging the other person and it can make
you feel really good, but it's not, I wouldn't want to live my whole life like that yeah um but i don't know maybe
there's more to it but but tell us if there is um all right
what up council i come to you legends with a question we hear about a lot in the pod. I always thought it could never happen to me until it did.
Basically, I've been talking with this sweet lady ever since quarantine started.
Lengthy text convos would turn into three-hour FaceTime calls.
We've been talking for so long, and I really like this girl.
She's funny, smart, sweet, artistic, beautiful.
The list goes on.
Very recently, we had our first real-life date where we parked our cars in front of a pond
and just talked through our windows at a reasonable distance.
She laughs at my jokes and tells me I'm cute.
Oh, this is so sweet.
I'm loving this.
We're both very open about how much we like each other.
But here's the problem.
She keeps talking about her friend Jack, all in bold.
Now, I'm normally not the jealous type.
At first, this Jack guy sounded cool.
If he's anything like the girl, I'm sure we could become fast friends.
But my beef with Jack has recently escalated.
First of all, Jack is 100% straight, confirming any paranoia I may have had about him. I'm sure we could become fast friends. But my beef with Jack has recently escalated.
First of all, Jack is 100% straight, confirming any paranoia I may have had about him.
This girl tells me about time.
Did we already read this one?
It sounds familiar.
I think he wrote it.
Oh, okay.
Hold on.
There's a follow-up.
I'm an idiot.
That was from April 11th. We already answered that one.
Dudes, can't thank y'all enough for answering my question on the pod.
You boosted my stoke to a level I didn't know existed And gave me the confidence to push forward
Your kind words and thoughtful insight are greatly appreciated
I think we said he's just gotta beast Jack right
He's just gotta act like it doesn't bother him
And then just be cooler than Jack
And just win the lady at the end of the day right
I'd now like to give you an update on what's been going on since
I'm still seeing this girl and our bond is so strong
We both continue to admit
That we have never gotten along with someone so well before
Since my last message to the pod her and i have discovered that we were
both fortunate enough to get tested for covid and we were both negative giving us the comforting
reassurance to hang out in person we've been hanging out as often as possible and even write
each other handwritten love letters this girl is something special damn dude but there's one thing
still in the back of my mind jack right around Right around the time when I emailed you, legend,
she told me that her and her best friend Jack
had decided to rent a cabin in rural PA
for a tiny vacation in July.
Fuck that, man.
Damn it.
My dudes, I try so...
That was me.
I try so hard not to get jealous or nervous,
but like, come on.
Just the two of them?
Alone in a cabin?
But thinking back to your advice,
I kept it chill and tried my hardest to be my best self.
Now, here's where things get a little crazy. Just last week, hanging out with her we were cuddling and stuff and she seemed upset about something i asked her what was wrong but she
didn't want to tell me she thought i would get upset i didn't force her to vent or anything
she didn't feel comfortable with telling me but after a few moments of contemplation she decided
to speak up she looked me in the eyes and said that her and jack weren't speaking at the moment
i was astonished my stomach was doing backflips and there was fireworks showing my brain.
I was so happy.
It was so hard not to crack a smile in front of her.
In the words of Strider, hit the road, Jack.
Seeing that she was still sad, I asked what was up.
She said that Jack told her he liked her.
Aaron, you got it.
You're so right, dude.
Bingo.
I almost fainted.
These two have been best friends since they were in middle school,
and I felt bad that they weren't talking because Jack is important to her.
But anywho, she told Jack that she didn't share those types of feelings and that she really liked me.
Parentheses.
Freaking yes, dude.
I can't blame Jack for shooting his shot. It's something you preach all the time on the pod after about two days of radio silence it seems they're back to being friends she facetimes him
all the time and in the evenings he has to watch avatar the last airbender with him should i be
concerned that this guy will try to pull some moves i have the utmost confidence that she would
never do anything with them but i wouldn't ever want to put her in an
uncomfortable position. What do you think? Am I being paranoid?
Endless thanks to you guys for being a bright
light during these dark times.
Wow.
Compelling stuff.
It's tough for me to make a call on it, dude.
I'd like to preach that just being open
to whatever is like the most
badass route. Just be like, hey, do whatever you want the most badass route, you know, just be like,
hey, do whatever you want.
But I think if it's me, dude, I'm like, I don't know.
I've had girlfriends where I wasn't threatened by their friend who had a crush on them.
So I was like, whatever, you can hang out with that guy as much as you want.
It's not a threat.
But this Jack seems like maybe he is a little bit of a threat.
So I would just put up some boundaries.
I'd be like, no sleep no one on one hangs at night
in either of your bedrooms
that all sounds super reasonable right
yeah
I think so
I think an important thing to know is that they've been best friends
since middle how old is this guy
um
let me look at his photo
he looks like
I don't know mid-college years
yeah they've been best friends since middle school i mean this guy is firmly planted in
the friend zone yeah and i don't think she's gonna think of him any other way right unless
this is a rom-com um yeah you can almost take comfort in the fact
that she's willing to spend the night with him because she thinks it's so little of a threat
yeah yeah then anything would go down you should laugh at jack that he's
he's you treat jack like a wounded younger brother or something you're like hey little
buddy your day will come yeah like enjoy torturing yourself while you sleep over yeah and she's not going to do anything
um i mean yeah i think maybe saying boundaries could be healthy but i also think you know
stay strong dude i mean you know you've got good trunk and you know it's it's pretty obvious that
at this point i think jack would have crossed the line from friend to lover. And I just,
I can't foresee that happening. So I think just stay strong. Yeah. Now my heart goes out to Jack,
you know, hanging there, buddy. And maybe you deserve better, dude. You know, she's in love
with Russell. I think you need to, to maybe disconnect for your own good and find somebody
else who will reciprocate how you're feeling. Cause you deserve it,
Jack.
Yeah.
You don't,
you don't want your defining characteristic to be that you're a nuisance in
this other guy's love story.
Yeah.
Go get your own love story.
Yeah.
And it'll be,
I hope it's as beautiful as Russell's.
Cause I mean,
it sounds amazing.
It sounds like handwritten letters,
handwritten letters.
Yeah.
I mean,
you guys are writing handwritten letters.
I mean,
unless you discover that she's for some reason, some sort monster yeah i think you're on the i think you're on the
rainbow road my friend yeah yeah no the rainbow road baby yeah all the colors and jack i know
where you're feeling i know what you're feeling dude you know i i want every guy to think I'm a little bit of a threat.
I mean, I would never do that.
I have slept with someone who had a boyfriend,
but I would never do it again.
Yeah, I remember my friend,
her boyfriend was okay with her going on a trip
to Europe with me and two of my buddies,
and I was so offended.
I was like, you're not worried at all?
No, I'm not worried at all. I was like, you're not worried at all? No, I'm not worried at all.
I was like, okay.
You think I'm pretty pathetic, huh?
I was like, you don't think we could get drunk in Barcelona
and something could happen?
He's like, no, not at all.
I was like, okay, all right.
Apparently you never see me dance, asshole.
Yeah.
Babe, you should go with like four of those dudes yeah babe i'd feel better if you
went with jt i know he'll look out for you and he's not much of a threat in any capacity
very secure in myself i'm like okay chief yeah yeah um all right yeah russell congrats man on
the uh on the the blossoming romance dude getting those cuddles and stuff. That sounds nice, bro.
All right.
When love met Stoke.
What up, Stoke gods of the world?
Long time Stoked.
First time writing in.
To get straight to the point, I just turned 21 and made sweet love to a 10 out of 10 Betty.
The only problem is she goes to school in Brooklyn and I think I've fallen in love.
I'm not the Stoker to catch feels from a hookup, but our Stoke levels were in sync like the 92 Bulls in game six.
I feel like I won't have the magical connection
with the solid 10 Betty like I had with this one.
We've been spending every other day with each other
and making love until the morning,
but she leaves Sunday and I don't know what to do.
I come to you Stoke gods for guidance on how to deal
with this situation. Love the pod and keep up
the Stokeness. So where does he live?
Not sure.
I don't know. That's a good question question i'll message him real quick and ask dude if you feel the electricity if you feel the chemistry if you
got a freaking duraflame log between the two of you and you know you guys are making love till
the wee hours of the morning and there's something going on in there, keep going after it.
You know?
I love that.
I mean, I think the greatest thing
is when you do catch feelings for your hookup,
and then you start dating,
and then you go on a gondola in Italy,
and you don't button up your shirt,
and then you make love till wee hours in the morning
and then you know you you manscape I love that have some clean pubes for all of this
dude also show her the before the movie before sunrise the most romantic movie of all time
Richard Linklater Ethan Hawke Julie Delpy Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy wrote most of their own dialogue.
So all their banter is completely authentic.
It's two strangers who meet in Vienna and they have a whirlwind romance together.
I'll leave it at that because I don't want to spoil it.
But they make a mistake at the end of the film, which is that they don't decide.
I don't want to spoil it.
But then watch the sequel to that, which is about the mistake that they made.
And it relates to you and to her, because when something like this pops up in your face, just like my old quote of the week from De Niro, if you don't grab it, it's a sin.
It's a sin. When a gift like this is in your face to not grab it, it's a sin. And then watch those
two movies in conjunction with each other together. Cause then you'll, you'll feel all
romantic while you're watching and you guys will make more of that sweet love you're talking about.
And then you'll also know what the choice you have to make is.
And then don't watch the third one because there's a third one, but it's sad.
It's about when people are older and things start to decay, even if they have really romantic
starts.
Skip that one because then that might reverse the decision that I'm hoping you make, which
is to grab life by the bowls and kiss this woman on the
mouth and don't let her go to Brooklyn.
Or if she does, you move there too.
And you just go to cafes and
read while she lives
her life. And then when she comes home,
you make love.
Alright, I messaged him to ask where he lives.
On one. What up, dogs? alright I messaged him to ask where he lives on one what up dogs
me and the boys are fucking on one right now
and I just wanted to ask
how the fuck do we get to the next level
damn dude
the quesh of the century
blistering question
how do you get to the next level
I know How do you get to the next level?
I know.
Jet skis.
Yep.
Wave runners.
I think there's a moment where one of you guys has to kind of lose his mind where the stoke gets so loud and significant that one guy just rips his
shirt open.
You know what I mean?
It's gotta be an act of,
of,
of,
of wild,
you know,
uh,
wild expression.
Like you're just so fucking pumped.
You and your boys are just laughing,
talking about a memory from like when y'all were 12 and like someone was like
biking backwards naked and you just go,
that was the funniest thing I ever saw.
And you just rip your shirt and have it all.
Your boys go,
yes,
yes.
And then they'll all start ripping their shirts off.
And pretty soon you've got the tattered shirts over your heads and you're
swinging them.
And then you're like,
wait,
but we're supposed to go out tonight.
And everyone's like,
all right,
well then we got to wear something different.
Everyone's like,
let's wear white linen shirts. and then you all go out in an
outfit and suddenly out of that spontaneous expression comes a plan you know dude i gotta
add on top of that though baby hair pieces i mean you get a blonde hair piece you throw that on i
mean in college whenever whenever we really truly wanted to you know get into like on the do-to-er of
raging we would put blonde hair pieces on and shades and you just lose it i mean i literally
had an out-of-body experience at the um squirt locker house like for like five hours dude that's
epic yeah hair pieces are fire dude and when you put those
hair pieces on watch the speech from any given sunday about how life is a game of inches watch
something inspiring that'll just fucking get all you guys real fixated on real fixed on the moment
you know and dude uh you know what mixes really well with Stoke? Doors. Like my favorite moment in college was when my buddy Mason and I,
we were going to go to this huge house party and we were like just prepping for it.
And when he really wanted to cap the moment off,
I went to the bathroom and then his door was closed.
And I was like, Mason, let's roll.
He hasn't opened his door.
He kicks through his door and breaks through it
like the Hulk.
That's what I'm saying.
And then when we came back,
there was a hole in his door.
Always.
And do you know what I did after that?
I kicked a hole in my door.
Yes.
That's what I'm saying.
Spontaneous expression,
it becomes a movement.
Yeah.
You know,
it can spark a movement.
Yeah.
I hope you guys don't have any
hole doors by the end of this. Make your own hole. Yeah. I hope you guys don't have any hole doors by the end of this.
Make your own hole.
Yeah.
I love that.
Yeah, you got to do stuff like that.
And doing stuff as a team is always good.
Like when you all unite and kind of put on like, you know, like where it's like, all right, guys, here's what we're all going to do.
We're all going to do this thing.
Right.
Like we're all going to start every conversation by using the word apple for the rest of the night.
Yeah.
I don't know stuff
like that it can it can be very bonding and then it just make you you'll remember your friends and
you just want to kiss it's so nice yeah all right last question what's going on my dudes times are
rough right now but it's been great listening to your pods and getting the inspiration i need to
keep the sweat flowing thanks to these dank guests you've had on lately one thing i cannot seem to
figure out during these times
is my feelings for my ex-girlfriend.
For a small backstory, we were friends for about six years.
We were both rising high school seniors
and she is even in my main squad.
Earlier this year, she told me she had feelings for me
and after much thought, I decided to give us a shot.
We share multiple common interests and she is very cute
so I figured we might be able to pull off a relish.
But something on my end
cannot seem to click,
and I truly believe that we are better off as friends.
I was beginning to think about how I should go about breaking up with her
when she texted me about how upset she is with her parents.
Her parents do not support the Black Lives Matter movement
and shut her down every time she says anything that goes against their beliefs.
Pretty fucked up, right?
I feel like breaking up with her right now would make her even more upset,
especially because I think she thinks I have more romantic
feelings for her than I actually do.
I am stumped on how to approach this, bros.
Part of me wants to wait until she can find peace with her parents and I can provide emotional
support for her in the meanwhile.
But I know this would not be right for the both of us.
I really hope there will be a way for us to remain friends after this as she is very
dear to me.
Any help on how to go about this would be greatly appreciated.
Oh, what a sweet conscientious dude uh he's got obi-wan kenobi ewan mcgregor's obi-wan
from uh phantom menace or no from the he's got longer hair so that's probably from the what's
the revenge of the sith revenge of the sith yeah as his uh as his photo it's nice damn dude um
yeah i feel for your girl dude i i you know i'm i'm lucky my folks will let me
even if we disagree they'll let me hammer them on stuff and they're always pretty receptive uh
so thanks mom and dad uh i don't know dude i i think
you know if you do your best to support black lives matter, I think you can break up with your girlfriend,
even if her parents beef with her about that.
Right.
If she's that upset about it.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Aaron,
what do you think,
dude?
I'm sorry.
What?
Oh,
dude.
All right.
I think you're,
I think, I think the answer is probably obvious, but I'd love some assistance.
He started dating his friend from six years, right?
His friend from, they're really good friends in high school.
She's like really into him.
He's not into her.
She's in the squad.
They're very, very good friends.
He wants to remain friends and he cares about her so much.
She's beefing with her parents about black lives matter and she's really upset that they're not supporting the cause
and so he doesn't want to break up with her now because she's already sad about that
i mean you're only making it worse hanging in there i think
i think yeah yeah i mean there is no perfect time yeah yeah i mean you're just
gonna keep waiting and waiting and and you're like you're gonna find excuses for like oh now
she's kind of sad about that or whatever um i think you just gotta you know cut the head off
the snake yeah exactly like it's so true what you're saying yeah like he's easier said than done i mean
i i i can't apply those zone things to me you know but and you know it's good you're so conscientious
but nah dude you just got to break up with her she'll be fine her and her parents will work
through this they've got issues that don't involve you you just got to break up with her yeah and
then you know and and if you want to stay friends with her just give her some time she'll get over it and then you guys can be friends again yeah also though real talk this blm
black lives matter stuff is not going anywhere anytime soon so unless you're ready to get married
to her right just let her go yeah yeah and also dude if you stay with her forever and then you
guys end up getting married you're gonna have to deal with her forever and then you guys end up getting married,
you're going to have to deal with her racist-ass parents.
You don't want to deal with that.
You want to have grandkids and have her racist-ass parents telling the kids about their values?
You don't want that.
Just punt.
Yeah.
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All right.
Later.
Chad, who is your Beef of the Week?
My Beef of the Week is solar flares.
Oh.
Have you heard of those?
Yeah, I think so.
So I watched this series on Netflix called The Universe.
It's from History Channel.
And I learned about the sun, the moon, the earth, Jupiter, Mars, asteroid belts. It was awesome. And I learned about solar flares.
You know, I'm a huge fan of the sun. You know, you got frigging... And that comes in the form of solar flares, which are a coronal mass ejection. It expels, there's like a little explosion,
and it expels a bunch of
plasma and other particles, like a bunch of
highly charged protons and electrons
and neutrons
and photons,
all kinds of tons,
into
space. And
sometimes these can hit Earth.
You know, these solar f flares all these charged particles
they can do extensive damage you know they can really they can fuck up our weather
um they can they can trigger geomagnetic storms and they can disable satellites
and they can knock out terrestrial electric power grids and they can also cause biochemical damage
you know if like an astronaut's out there in space and he gets hit by a solar flare tons of radiation it's like a thousand chest x-rays whoa so i think that's the
one instance where the sun can be a schmalt and it's like solar flares you know eject you know
elsewhere don't eject towards earth that's all that's a great beef yeah there's so much in that beef yeah i wish i wish i was neil
degrasse tyson for a second so i could really you know eloquently say what's going on i think you
did dude thank freaking are you for real right now bro i mean it bro freaking thank you for sure
dog and dude do you know the outer part of the sun is called the corona no i didn't know that dude this fucking virus is trying
to ruin the two coolest things on earth beers and sun get out of here later yeah i used to watch
that show the universe and it was like every episode was like this is how the universe could
kill us right right yeah it's got a lot of ways yeah oh. Right. Yeah. It's got a lot of ways.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And I don't think we got a lot of defense against it because it's a little bigger than us.
Yeah.
But we're working on it.
Sure.
Dude, with the way the universe was formed, I mean, it's insane.
The way the earth was formed, the moon.
How?
So, a supernova exploded, which is like a star.
Yeah. so a supernova exploded which is like a star yeah and so all this all this matter and all these particles just went all across you know the fucking where our solar system is now
and then there was the sun that had a gravitational pulse so all the particles sort of started
accumulating and then when certain things like earth this is very elementary i think i know what i'm talking about but i don't really
when like particles like the earth started accumulating they create their own gravitational
pole and so then you know it's basically like the planets you see are the is the matter and
the particles that sort of grouped into that bunch and then became something and
then earned a place orbiting around the sun you're the son of the crew dude you had a gravitational
pull and then you created planets in your orbit that have a gravitational pull that's very kind
but you're the fucking you're the nuclear explosions of the sun oh dude that's nice dude
bursting out the light aaron you're the guy who created all
those things that we're talking about you're god dude you're god bro i got a bone to pick with you
about some shit but overall dude i'm pretty psyched do you want to hear how the moon was
formed yes so a planet about the size of mars mars is like 50 the size of earth when the earth was forming it was
just like a hot and molten lava ball you know and eventually it cooled off and
so it was forming a planet the size of mars slammed into it because early in those days
there were like asteroids and comets and just all types of matter just slamming into like the earth and all it
wasn't organized yet and it was building up the the volume and so a plant the size of like mars
slammed into it and so it it all like sort of like exploded and it was like had that gravitational
pull so most of it came back into one you know but there was one part that didn't and that became the moon whoa yeah dude
epic origin story yeah that's so cool dude i'm stoked you're watching that it's awesome dude
it's on netflix i gotta watch that i've been trying to watch like more cerebral stuff and
then i just keep getting drawn into more crossfit documentaries that's cerebral too oh thank you
dude it's learning how to you know take action do stuff those guys are beasts dude they got a great attitude yeah yeah aaron
do you have a beef of the week i do i also want to say that the moon doesn't rotate yeah it doesn't
trips me out like i found that out a couple years ago and it's like whoa it's kind of an anomaly
yeah we've only seen the one side of it we have the we have as here on earth we have the biggest
moon in the solar system yeah comparatively to our planet but dude fucking freaking jupiter
some of its one moon has just volcanoes all over it yeah that's awesome
sorry aaron no it's all good i i burned up or sorry god god all right my b for the week is with
suburban roosters oh what the why why do my neighbors own roosters i'm trying to you know
it's getting warmer out i'm trying to sleep with the windows open
to to lay off the air conditioner therefore lay off the environment you know use less energy all
that stuff but then they're goddamn roosters and they're it's not like oh they go off at 5 a.m.
and that's you know a bummer to deal with No, they're going off all hours of the night.
And I just think my neighbors should be shot.
I mean, it's rough.
You're bringing up a lot of good stuff.
Yeah.
So let me get this straight.
Aaron, you got the chicken, the rooster, and the hen.
The rooster goes with the chicken.
So who's having sex with the hen?
I think the hen is just a female chicken.
And what's the chicken?
That's perverse.
Chicken is just a name for either male or female chickens.
Oh.
That's perverse.
Is it?
No, I just was quoting Seinfeld.
I got a friend who's got roosters and chickens,
and he's got to keep the rooster separated from the chickens.
Yes.
They can't hang out together.
No, he'll kill them.
The rooster will kill all the chickens.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The male chickens.
Fucking, what kind of attitude?
I mean, he's cocking the walk.
That I understand.
But get your timing straight.
If the sun ain't out, shut fuck up boom my beef of the week is with
kevin from american pie dude yes especially american pie too dude just shut the fuck up yes
quit calling out the rookie of the year right yeah quit calling out what you want the moment to be
and just let it happen it's already happening and you're strangling it with
your like perfectionist sentimentality i mean oh just ultimate buzzkill like he after they have
this wild experience with these two hot ladies who live next door who are like making out with
each other and getting the boys to make out with each other he's like hey guys you guys want to
play a card game they're like no we're good he's like all right i just want to do stuff together
you're like okay we get it you have a nice motivation we you guys want to play a card game? They're like, no, we're good. He's like, all right, I just want to do stuff together. You're like, okay, we get it.
You have a nice motivation.
We don't want to fucking play cards right now, man.
You don't have to throw it in our face that you're trying to like make the best of it
for all of us.
And then he's got his sweet ex-girlfriend, played by Tara Reid, wonderfully.
He's like projected this whole idea that they belong to.
He runs up to her at a party.
He's like, how you doing?
She's like, hey, this is the guy I'm dating.
He storms off.
that they belong to.
He runs up to her at a party.
He's like, how you doing?
She's like, hey, this is the guy I'm dating.
He storms off.
Then Finch has to go get Jim,
who's about to hook up with Nadia,
the greatest love of his life,
and he has to pull him out of there.
He goes, hey, Kevin just walked out.
It was pretty bad.
Jesus, Kevin.
If Jim came up to me and I was feeling blue
about some shit that was in my
head, I'd be like, Jim, did you come here
from hooking up with Nadia? You haven't seen
her in years and you had that humiliating experience with her a couple
years ago. I really want this moment to be about
you. Just go have fun, man. Don't put
pressure on yourself. Have a good time. Instead,
Kevin's like, I haven't slept with anyone.
Wah!
Wah!
Just shut up, dude. He's the worst. He's the worst. He worst one of the biggest schmoles in history huge schmole
this is the moment and then the first one he has he has all this troubles telling tara reed he loves
her yeah i'm like what dude yeah it's tara reed and her yeah and he's putting and then they're at
the prom and like all the other guys are just
trying to have a good, you're going to get laid, you're going to get laid, you're going
to get laid.
Yeah.
Just shut up.
Yeah.
He's the guy in the group that is getting laid.
I mean.
Yeah.
More or less, you know, it's like he's the one with the girlfriend at least.
Yeah.
Kevin.
He's just, he's just so like controlling.
Yeah.
Boke yourself, dude.
And then also, I think we need to do a little revisionist history
jim being able to nut twice prematurely within a five minute window there's a lot of horsepower
there yeah i mean to nut twice in five minutes i want that you know what i mean yeah and you know
granted he needs to desensitize a little bit but i don't know if the kids at school should be making
fun of him no i think i'd be like hey dude you knowensitize a little bit, but I don't know if the kids at school should be making fun of him.
No.
I think I'd be like, hey, dude, you know, you came out a little hard and fast, but you got a lot of raw potential.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's got a loaded tank.
Yeah, exactly.
He's a horn dog.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, and I'm sorry he came twice when he was with the hottest woman in the world.
Yeah.
And, you know, he just busted a couple times.
What are you doing? You're the one watching it on your
computer you freak
yeah the bunch of fucking
perverts in their fucking web sphere
yeah
violating poor Nadia's privacy
I mean Jim knew his buddies were gonna watch he shouldn't
have done that but
alright but he's in high school
oh dude you couldn't hold it in
yeah exactly oh why'd you nut so fast yeah so you get in there yeah you get in there chief
good luck to you partner yeah and you contain your jizz and your friggin sack
i'll tell you what dude peter north would have busted twice that fast with nadia dude
true words have not been johnny sins would have made have made a TikTok about how he busted twice in 30 seconds.
Is he good on TikTok?
He's got pretty legit TikTok.
That's awesome.
Also, Alison Hannigan, hot and very cool.
Also, though, when she sticks a trumpet up Jim's butt, it goes up there a little too easily.
That's not how butts work.
She literally just takes it and goes, bloop!
And he's like, what the fuck is that?
She's like, I stuck a trumpet up your butt. I'm like,
that's not how
buttholes work. You can't just
aim wildly and stick a,
you know, something
with that circumference up a butt.
Can I be real for a sec? Yeah.
You know, he's kind of weirded out by it.
Yeah. I'd be fired up.
Me too.
When I'm talking about how she's cool as fuck, she's cool as fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That would make me, I'd be so happy.
Last beef with America, because I was watching it last night with Joe.
When Nadia shows up early and then Jim's not ready to have sex with her because his dick's still broken from masturbating with super glue or something crazy like that.
God damn it. ready to have sex with her because his dick's still broken from masturbating with super glue or something crazy like that he uh he he the way he keeps naughty on the back burner is he says he has another girlfriend and then nadia just hangs around until he's single in real life
nadia's sleeping with like the super cool venture capitalist who's 25 and has a boat next door
within 10 minutes you know what i mean
come on jim you're not in a position to just kick the can down the road
i maybe you should have just been honest with it look i tried to i tried to you know drill myself
and it was super glu so my dong's a little bit out of commish but i will go down on you all day
and all night that's a beautiful rewrite yeah that's a great rewrite yeah movie over that's a better movie yeah yeah i'd watch that movie still yeah
uh always bothered me uh the blink the blink 182 is one of the people watching on tv on the uh on
the internet uh as though there was uh live stream capabilities back then right but uh yeah we know enough about
wi-fi today you know it ain't that easy to stream partner it barely worked today yeah um
but it always bothered me that in the credits they give credit to the they had just switched
to travis barker and they uh they give credit to the the old drummer in the credits which always
bothered me oh interesting yeah travis barker's the one in the movie. Good catch.
Yeah.
Dude, nice.
I'm just picturing you on your couch just like,
what the fuck's going on?
Yeah, yeah, that is true.
Was that independent research,
or did you hear about that from a third party?
No, I knew it when I saw it.
I was like, that's not Scott.
That's Travis.
Oh, were you watching the credits because you thought at the end of the credits there might be another boob scene?
Sure.
That's what it is.
Now it all makes sense.
That's what you do.
Now it all makes sense.
Okay.
Dude, Van Wilder, you want to hear something cool?
Yes.
You get the DVD box set of Van Wilder, and you can have the rated version or the unrated version.
And if you pick the rated version, it's a trick.
You see boobs in the DVD menu.
Whoa.
But if you pick the unrated version, no boobs.
Interesting.
That's very cool.
Yeah.
Wow.
I love that thoughtfulness.
Yeah.
Great movie.
Chad, who is your babe of the week?
My babe of the week is Gary Oldman.
Have we done him before?
No, dude.
Dude, I mean.
Needs to happen, though.
The actor of all actors.
He's a legend.
Fifth Element.
I watched Air Force One this weekend.
So good.
Great Russian villain.
Or is he from Kazakhstan or something?
I think that might be it.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh, I think, no, he says Mother Russia at one point.
Yeah, he's from a rebel state of the former USSR, and he's trying to bring it back.
Correct.
Darkest Hour.
What else is it?
Leon the Professional.
Leon the Professional.
True Romance.
True Romance.
Sid and Nancy.
Dracula.
The Batman Trilogy.
State of Grace.
The Batman Trilogy.
Yeah.
He's a beast. I mean, I think he's one of the best actors alive today and he really just sinks into the role i mean he
becomes the role he's not one of these actors who plays a different version of himself he's
you know he's like um he becomes he's a chameleon chameleon foley yeah and it's like different than
being a movie star where you're like the same character it's like really what we when you're a kid when you think
about what it means to be an actor it's like to be able to play a bunch of different parts right
no one embodies that more than him no yeah yeah fifth element i didn't even realize it was him for
like 10 years i had a friend who didn't believe me yeah i go the guy from air force one is the
guy in fifth element my buddy robert he goes no it's not yeah that's not true yeah it's fucking true dude yeah he couldn't wrap
his head around it yeah and then uh darkest hour was i love that movie i haven't seen it yet oh
you haven't no dude you gotta see it all right it's good um but yeah i just want to give him
props i mean air force one excellent movie i mean the the intensity that his love for mother russia
it's all authentic when you watch it yeah and then when he kills the press secretary
what a moment dude and i i think he's he's a fearless actor he makes huge choices yeah like
and what aaron mentioned in true romance like he's playing a white guy who thinks he's black, and you could just imagine how self-conscious you could be doing that,
and he just goes for broke.
Yeah.
I think he came up with his look, too.
A lot of it, like the scar and the milky eye and the dreadlocks.
Wow.
Yeah.
I love that.
He cares.
What a beast.
Yeah, he's a beast. He's good as Dracula,acula too have you seen that uh way long ago yeah don't even remember his performance though he's good
yeah he's amazing dracula how's keanu in that
you guys both laugh poor keanu dude poor kid dude his accent is probably the worst of all time but
you know um Francis Ford I mean he's just like so the bath was the bath and you're like dude
just do like a California accent yeah he's from like Toronto anyways didn't you say Francis Ford
was yeah so Francis Ford was like very calm he's's like, look, you know, he really wanted to perfect the accent.
And when he tried that hard, sometimes he missed step.
But he's a terrific guy, you know.
He's like, he's one of the best souls I've ever been around.
He's an amazing person, a wonderful guy.
And I don't regret casting him for a second.
Dude, I used to listen to jay
moore's podcast and he talked about working with him on street kings he's like people say that like
that keanu reeves is dumb he's like he reads chaucer in between takes yeah
so yeah i'm glad you know we've talked about it before it's just so nice that
he's he's come back around to being the national being perceived as the national
treasure that he is right yeah totally like when i went to film school he was a punchline
yeah everybody'd be like you know there's bad acting like keanu reeves yeah and i'd kind of
get i'd bristle i'd be like if he's a bad actor then why do we all want to watch his movies
exactly yeah there's something there that goes beyond your idea of what acting is. Yeah. Aaron, who's your babe of the week?
My babe of the week is haircuts.
Nice, dude.
I finally got my haircut today.
I got it done right before quarantine,
so I was lucky.
But man, it was getting gnarly.
It was the longest it's been since middle school
when I had kind of a mop top
and just was unkempt at all. Get out.
Uh, I'm starting to curl in the back where my, where it hits my shirt. That's not okay. Uh,
went in there, did all the safety, safety protocols. I'm pretty sure I didn't catch the
COVID. Uh, and I feel great. Love that, dude. I feel refreshed.
Yeah.
New appreciation for haircuts now.
My baby of the week is Leanne Womack,
the singer of the incredible song,
I Hope You Dance.
Oh, yeah.
I don't know if there's a more powerful anthem about how life is just really about doing it.
You know?
I hope you dance.
And then that guy comes in the background, he's like,
Tom, is the movie an ocean or something like that?
But it just, to me, it captures all of life's essence in that song.
Leanne, you nailed it.
Good on you.
Thank you.
Chad, who's your legend of the week?
My legend of the week is cyanobacteria.
You know, the first life form on Earth.
What?
Yeah, dude.
How do they know?
They just know.
It came in the form of, like, green algae.
Damn, dude.
You know, because it started to survive in the most extreme conditions on Earth. You know, volcanoes erupt in everywhere.
Everything's molten hot lava.
You know, it's cooling down eventually, but, you know, oceans are forming.
But cyanobacteria comes in, and it's like, yo, I'm one of the more primitive life forms.
And I'm probably one of the first on this Earth.
I'm just kicking it in the osh.
And it was the first life form to photosynthesize.
So I'm not sure if it was the very first, but I think it was probably the first around there.
It was the first thing to photosynthesize, which created oxygen in our atmosphere, which is why we're alive today.
Dude!
So we owe our existence to bacteria.
Muchas gracias, bacteria.
Yeah, usually you want to put on some Neosporin and later it.
Think twice about that, you know.
You don't want, you know.
Throw out a big what up before you do that.
Yeah, say thank you, dude, but, you know, I got to boke you for now,
but go back to the Osh or something and stay out of my dong
um but yeah it's just uh it's really interesting to think about we're all connected love that we
are we are all connected i've actually been more optimistic about the world through all these
things that we've been through these last couple months yeah you know what i mean yeah i think the
world's just needed a to shed a little bit and i think we're coming out
of this way better yeah you know what i mean we need some shock waves yeah it's good we're doing
olympic lifts yeah and it's going to create new ways of doing things that i think are valuable
and that i think like it's gonna and it won't go perfect but we'll figure out a new way of life
that i think is going to be good yeah Yeah. You know, it bothers me.
I was more than anything these days.
People were like,
Oh,
2020,
this year sucks.
Yeah.
Fuck 2020.
I'm like,
that's such like a lame thing to say.
Like,
yeah.
Can't this year be over?
I'm like,
yeah,
the conditions are less than ideal,
but like,
quit complaining.
I totally agree. People are like, no, I just want things to be back to the way they were. Yeah. And you know, I'm are less than ideal, but like, quit complaining. I totally agree.
People are like, no, I just want things to be back to the way they were.
Yeah.
And, you know, I'm lucky, but like, I'm like, but they're not the way they were.
Yeah.
So we just got to make the best out of how it is.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And we got to embrace this stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And when has the civil rights movement ever seemed wrong in retrospect?
Yeah.
Like, when have we looked back on a civil rights movement and been like, no, that was a little
over the top.
They shouldn't have been.
We're always like, no, they were right yeah yeah so we just
got to embrace it let's go yeah and we're human beings we adapt you know yeah you don't want to
live on cruise control your whole life you mean you never grow and you'll never change you'll
never learn from experiences i mean what do we call the you know generation from like the great
depression in world war ii some of the greatest generations. Yeah. Because they went through hard times.
Yes.
And they shredded their quads of life and they ate some protein and they grew back thicker, stronger, and better.
Life's more urgent right now.
Everything has more meaning.
Yeah.
Everything's higher stakes.
It's good.
Yeah.
We're more alive.
Yeah.
We're more awake now than we were a year ago.
Yeah. And, you know, plus when people say 2020 sucks i'm like can you think of can you just try to have an
original thought yeah it's the same thing programmed opinion right yeah it's like when
dudes are throwing beta at me yeah i'm like okay bitch yeah i'll oftentimes i'm like, okay, bitch. Yeah. Oftentimes I'm like, dude, I'll fuck you up.
Beat your ass, dude.
But I probably can't with half of them, but that's my instinct.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Aaron, who's your legend of the week?
Guys, my legend of the week.
A few episodes ago we had Ron Funches on.
We talked pro wrestling and off the air afterwards
we all talked about it ourselves
and I gotta go
with my guy from my childhood
Brett the Hitman Hart
oh dude
legendary
hailing from Calgary Alberta Canada
of the Hart Dynasty
just a badass, man.
He could do anything.
He could be a high flyer.
He could be a technician.
He could be a strong man.
He was a heel.
He was a much better good guy, I think, than a bad guy
because the heel character didn't come off as genuine.
When he turned heel, it was like he got super like proud of canada for being for
taking care of the sick and the elderly it's like well that's not that's still pretty nice yeah oh
that was so interesting when they did that when they made it when it when it became canada versus
the u.s when that was like the thrust of the storyline yeah yeah dude wow yeah yeah and then
you got his his finishing move which one could say is youing head first in WCW, the sharpshooter.
The Scorpion Deathlock was Sting's version of it.
Basically, he just used the other leg.
But it's also like, I love that it's kind of ridiculous, because it's like you have to grab a guy by the legs,
stick your leg in between his legs, cross his legs, and then
roll him over.
Like, it's so long and stupid.
Yeah.
And people kicked out of it or escaped from it a ton.
But then once it's on, man, you're done.
And he made it cool to wear pink, pink and black, pink and black attack.
And what about every time he came out, he put the glasses on?
Glasses on a kid in the crowd, yeah.
Come on.
Always, dude.
Okay, who is Bret Hart's best rival?
Oof.
I think it's a two-way race, right?
Yeah, I think so.
Shawn Michaels?
Well, yeah.
Or Yokozuna?
Yokozuna was great just because he seemed unbeatable at the time.
I think his better rival was Owen.
Oh, yeah.
You know what?
That's right.
Yeah.
I mean, because off, you know, I read his autobiography.
It's massive and it's so insightful.
I heard those wrestling books are great, like all of them.
Yeah, they always are.
Because their lives are so crazy.
Yeah, they're so nuts.
And he was a crazy womanizer and, like and wasn't much of a drug taker,
did steroids a little bit in the 80s.
But his relationship with his brother Owen off TV and out of sight was amazing.
They were super, super good buddies.
And when Owen died, it was terrible. Yeah, super good buddies. And, you know, when he died, it was, you know, when Owen died, it was terrible.
Yeah, rest in peace.
But, yeah, I think Owen was the most, like, gnarly villain for him.
Like, the Joker to his Batman was pretty nuts.
And then they had an epic match.
Cage match, right?
No, it was just, it was like the opening match at WrestleMania 10.
Right.
When he re-won, when Brett eventually re-won the title that night.
Owen Hart, one of my favorite finishing moves of all time, too, where they catch the front ball kick and then he jumps off the other foot and boots him in the face.
I don't know if that was a finisher, but he certainly did it all the time.
Yeah.
It always seemed like one of the moves, too, where it was my favorite to look at aesthetically, but it also felt like the easiest one to avoid because all you had to do was not catch the kick.
I think he did a backflip off the top rope was his finisher, I think.
Oh, really?
Moonsplash?
But like backflip, yeah.
Oh, okay.
I think.
If you do it front waist, it's a shooting star press.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then, you know, then Brett obviously involved in a huge controversy.
I have the documentary about the Montreal Screwjob
called Wrestling with Shadows which is amazing
which is like real life versus
wrestling life it's like
what's you know there was
bad blood both ways
and that was a genuine thing
Bret Hart did not want to lose in Canada
he was going to leave the company
and then Vince McMahon
changed the outcome of the match without consulting with Brett
first and had Shawn Michaels beat him in Canada, which was very, was like the height
of disrespect to Brett because he was so Canada pride.
And then Brett went straight backstage and socked Vince McMahon, right?
Yeah.
You don't quite see it on camera, but it happened.
Wow. And then, you know, he camera, but it happened, yeah. Wow.
And then, you know, he was a technician.
He was a master.
He never hurt anybody his whole career.
He tells it like it is about who was a terrible wrestler and who wasn't in the book.
And then his career gets ended by Bill Goldberg, who is an amazing specimen,
but a terrible wrestler. He kicked him in the
head, gave him a concussion that ended his career,
and eventually
down the line he has a stroke that
luckily he's mostly recovered from.
I love that about wrestling, that the measure of how good
you are is how well
you take care of your opponent
is. I remember Billy Hart was really bad, or Billy Gunn was really bad about that. you are is how well you take care of your your your opponent is like like i remember uh billy
hart was really bad or billy gunn was really bad about that you know he'd pick a guy up and he'd
just drop him at the wrong angle and the guy would bop his head against the railing or something yeah
yeah and people like it's not obviously it's it is meant to be safe and look difficult and look
painful and it was it is painful to do, um, night after night,
you know,
for 300 nights a year.
But like,
if you,
if you were that guy,
you got taken care of,
like you got slammed intentionally till you,
till you worked out of your system.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
They would,
they would bring it back on you.
Kind of like,
uh,
yeah.
It's called like shoot,
like shoot wrestling, kind of like in Japan,
where they kind of hit you for real sometimes.
Yeah, I've heard those stories.
Those are always great.
That's an awesome legend.
My legend of the week is the Sunday I had yesterday.
It's just fire, dude.
Woke up, worked out, did legs, did my Wim Hof breathing.
I'm doing like five rounds sometimes now.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
Nice.
Because I just want to get higher and higher off of it.
You know what I mean?
It just feels so good.
It feels great.
And then I watched Inside Man, the Spike Lee movie.
Great movie.
It's a good one.
I think he might be my favorite director, along with Spike Jones.
And then like Soderbergh and Linklater are battling it out for third.
But it's so hard.
But yeah, I just love Spike Lee movies.
Then I went for a hike with a friend from college.
Then I went to the park with Joe, hung out, listened to that Leigh-Anne Womack song, played Taboo.
And then I picked up the girl I'd been seeing.
We drove up the Malibu coast, PCH, pulled over, went in the water.
And then we had a fat In-N-Out burger and smoked a Juul.
There was literally a moment where I was driving in the car and i was like my life i was like i can't believe
this is my life i wanted to like pinch myself and literally i started questioning it too much
how happy i was and i had to shake it off and go and just throw it off i was like don't think
about it too much just live it yeah i started i actually thought about vinnie chase i was like
what would vinnie chase and entourage do i was like that guy never questioned how good his life was he always just took it as this is it this is
it yeah um so thank you entourage and then um and then i ended up having a really rough night last
night actually my medicine didn't work and i couldn't fall asleep and i was up till six in
the morning and i i had to text you at like 5 30 a.m and tell you that like i i couldn't do some
work that we were supposed to do and i was uh and I was just freaking out and, you know, the good comes with
the bad and, and it's all right. You know, I had a rough night, but there'll be fewer,
fewer and farther between. And I was grateful that I was able to get to sleep and get some rest.
And then I had some people I could call at that hour. And, but still I'll always remember that
Sunday. It was a fire day. Just one of those perfect days where you're just like, man, there was a moment where I hit her jewel right when we were getting, I haven't spent
a jewel in like six months. And I just was like, I'm actually relaxed. Like I was chill. Like I'm
never chill. I'm always kind of got like a little stick up my butt, like a little ball of energy in
my chest where I'm like, what's, I should be be doing something but i just sat back in the scene i was like i'm just relaxing yeah it's beautiful yeah
that's awesome that's my legend i just can't get out of the out of my head the image of joe
singing i hope you dance i hope you dance i can't do anything i can't do anything. I can't do it. I hope you dance.
He's so funny.
I can't do anything.
He's a very, like, this stuff that's going on in the world is taking a toll on him.
You know?
He doesn't have, the store's not there.
He can't do stand-up.
He says he's having dreams about stand-up every night.
Really?
Yeah.
Interesting.
Yeah.
And it is tough.
It is.
A lot of people aren't able to do the things they want to do.
It's a crazy time.
Yeah.
Chad, what's your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is from, I'm keeping the Van Wilder train rolling.
So in the beginning of the movie, there's a guy on top of a roof of a dorm and he's about to jump heavy situation then van wilder appears and he's not wearing pants but he's gonna give this
kid a pep talk he's like and also his dong's out just giving you context everyone's like don't
jump don't jump and then van wilder comes to save the day and he's like but you know what i've learned my 70 years here at coolidge timmy
i've learned that you can't treat every situation as a life and death matter because you'll die a
lot of times write that down i don't have a pen we'll remember that then hey you know something
timmy i think you've got the balls to make it here. Call me nuts,
but I believe in you.
And then he jumps.
Oh, wait.
Yeah.
You got more?
No, no, I thought I did,
but that's another quote.
Nice.
Aaron, what's your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is simply what Bret Hart would say.
He'd say, I'm the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be.
That's fucking confidence.
Great quote.
My quote of the week is from old school, and it was inspired by, Chad,
you were saying last week about how the best parts in comedies aren't the big set pieces,
but sometimes just the throwaway lines, like the little moments.
So I was watching old school with joe and this is like when everything
starts to go bad and the vince vaughn and luke wilson character are talking outside and luke
wilson's like i just feel like since you've been in control of everything everything has gotten
worse and vince vaughn's character's like name one bad thing that's happened and then luke wilson
goes well blue's dead frank lost his wife i don don't have a house. And we have nine college kids
who are about to get expelled from school.
But the way he says, well, Blue's dead,
it's so funny.
He's like, say one bad thing I've done.
He's like, well, Blue's dead.
It just cracks me up.
It's such a good movie.
Yeah, it's so funny.
And the way Luke Wilson is like,
the way to answer a friend,
he's like, tell me one bad thing I did.
And it's so heightened. But like your friend being like, well, you killed one of
our friends, basically.
One of our friends is dead.
He's like, well, Blue's dead.
And the way he says it, it's like, and you know, Vince Vaughn's so perfect at being like
the unapologetic, like kind of shit starter.
Like whose life is ruined?
Yeah.
Whose life is ruined?
He's like, well, Blue's dead.
And it just, I was laughing for like two hours after seeing that line. I just kept going up to John and be like's like well blue's dead and it just i was laughing for like two
hours after seeing that line i just kept going up to john be like well blue's dead yeah it was
making me laugh so fucking hard um yeah all right chad what's your phrase of the week for getting
after it um i just want to say well blue's dead it's funny right yeah, Blue's dead. It's funny, right? Yeah. Well, Blue's dead.
What's my phrase we're getting after?
Let's start a ripple.
And, dude, real quick, you've won three solo war zones, right?
Yeah.
That's insane.
So, oh, I won one with the schmoll oh you do okay so wait i want one two yeah three solos and one duo with the schmoll dude and i posted about it last week but it wasn't
the time so i had to take it down i've got more videos for you i was so fired up yeah do you want
you get stogers you want to hear my uh my celebration yeah play that you
know go baby
look at you soldier oh i'm proud of you
it's a victory for daddy.
Ha!
Yeah, mama.
Woo hoo!
Someone sent me a message.
These are the messages you'll have to wait.
Daddy just got a war zone victory.
Ha ha!
That's amazing. That's me alone in my apartment.
Dude, I've got three second places in solo war zones.
Oh, really? Yeah. It's so alone in my apartment. Dude, I've got three second places in solo war zones. Oh, really?
Yeah.
It's so frustrating, huh?
Yeah.
I mean, I'm proud of it, but yeah, I need at least one W.
Yeah, you'll get it.
I'll get there.
Yeah.
Have you been playing since you've been in LA?
No, I haven't played in like a week.
So my boys are kind of like, they're like, where you been at?
Oh, dude.
But then my buddy Ross, congratulations to Ross for getting married.
Got married over Zoom.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was so beautiful.
And his wife, during her vows,
shouted out the Xbox boys. Oh, really?
She's like, Ross, I promise to always be loyal to you
and to the Xbox boys.
And all of us were on a text
and we were all like, whoa, we got shouted out!
Let's go! Let's fucking
go! It was so nice
to get noticed like that, dude.
Or to be spoken
about during someone's vows.
Yeah.
Yeah, that was really cool.
But yeah, I haven't been playing, but it's because my Wi-Fi's slow, and dude, I get so
frustrated when I got lagged.
But I have an Ethernet cord now, so I'm ready to rock.
Nice.
Yeah.
Aaron, what's your phrase of the week for getting after it?
Let's take to the streets.
Dude.
All right, my phrase of the week from getting after it is from this uh haruki morikami
book i'm reading uh we're doing a book club for it over instagram live if you guys want to join in
some of the stokers are so insightful when it comes to literature yeah like they're really
really just uh uh cool people with with really good takes on stuff um and this book's been really
fun it's it's kind of like a gentle uh reality, and it will tweak your brain to it. So you kind of feel like you're living in it after you read it. But I really like
this passage. He says, I want to be able to be in two places at once. That is my one and only wish.
Other than that, there's not a thing I desire. Yet being who and what I am, my singularity hampers
this desire in mine. An unhappy lot, don't you think? My wish, if anything, is rather unassuming.
I don't want to
be ruler of the world, nor do I want to be an artist of genius. I merely want to exist in two
places simultaneously. Got it? Not three, not four, only two. I want to be roller skating while I'm
listening to an orchestra at a concert hall. I want to be a McDonald's quarter pounder and still
be a clerk in the product control section of the department store. I want to sleep with you and be I don't know.
I don't know.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
Is that sort of like...
You sort of want a life of significance,
but you also want,
you know,
just plain mediocrity.
I think it's like,
you want to like,
I see,
here's why I like it is that I don't know exactly what it means,
but it resonates as true to me.
And I think that's what I like so much about this book is that none of it
actually makes total sense to me,
but it all makes kind of this weird,
like abstract sense to me.
Yeah.
Where like, I just, I feel it as like a, as like a feeling, but I don't understand it completely with words I could use.
Yeah.
But so I'd say, I think what it would, what it means to me is that he just doesn't want
to, he feels stuck in one vessel.
Right.
Yeah.
We're all stuck.
You know, we're permanently planted in ourselves.
It'd be nice if we could just jump out.
It feels like it'd be a nice break.
Yeah.
You know, if you could just be a tree for a second.
Right.
Yeah, if I could just be that microphone for a second.
I don't know, dude.
But yeah, it's a fire, fire writing.
Haruki Murakami, you're a beast, bro.
All right, dudes.
Is that it?
I think that's it.
Aaron, you got anything else?
No.
No, that's great.
Good to be back.
Yeah, good to be back, dude.
Chad, this is the first time we've been face-to-face.
Yeah, in months.
Isn't that crazy?
It's weird to see you in 3D.
I know, because we see each other every day.
I know, to see you in 3D, it was like I was seeing
like a celebrity.
I was like,
whoa.
It was weird seeing you too,
yeah.
You look great.
Yeah,
you too,
you too,
man.
Yeah,
it's good to be back.
I got good bronzes going.
Thanks,
man,
yeah,
I've been getting some sun.
It's important,
dude,
getting that vitamin D.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Battle back that Crohn's,
bro.
Well,
Aaron,
good to see you in person.
Aaron,
good to see you,
man.
Thanks,
guys.
This has been fun. Yeah, it's good to be back. Well, Aaron, good to see you in person. Aaron, good to see you, man. Thanks, guys. This has been fun.
Yeah, it's good to be back.
Yeah, hopefully we can keep getting some cool guests
and we'll be back in here, too.
Yeah. Yeah.
Alright. Alright. Later.
Later, guys.
Oh.
Oh. If you need advice
These guys are really nice
You wanna know
What to do
Where to go
When you need someone to guide you
There's no place to have
The world's peace
I will go and see Thank you.