Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 147 - Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan Join
Episode Date: August 11, 2020What up stokers?! This week we got, Steve Lemme and Kevin Heffernan, from Beer Fest, Super Troopers , and Tacoma FD. They're solid dudes. Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the... code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion.
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Are you recording?
Rolling.
Alright.
Aaron Broomgard.
Sounds like a beer fest name.
Am I saying it correct? Aaron Broomgard.
Aaron Broomgard.
What's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation?
This is Chad
Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad and JT
podcast. Guys, before we begin, I want to
remind you once again that we are brought to you by Manscaped.
Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs,
for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean.
Because we may be in a pandemic, but that does not mean that you can't keep your pubes ready for the real world when we get the green light. So use code go deep,
www.manscape.com to get the best pubed trimmers on the market.
And I'm here with my compadre,
John Thomas.
What up?
Boom.
Clap stokers.
And we're here with Kevin Heffernan,
Steve Lemme of Tacoma FD and super troopers,
beer fest, the legends up what up didn't that
sponsor write that copy for you or was that off the dome it was off the dome actually but they
gave us like you know like two reads when they first signed on but i was so fired up on on the
company i just kept doing reads for them yeah and we, since we've said lock some more,
but I think they were just so fired up on how much I fire was fired up on
pubes and.
Where do they stand on, um, on mustaches? Do they,
can you trim mustaches those things or not?
Yeah, dude, they're, they're moving up, you know,
they're starting from the dong on up and you know, you can get the, the,
you know,
the chest now,
and they've got some grooming things for your face and then some nose hairs.
Because we've been heavy mustache guys in our day.
That's an important thing for us, right?
You guys aren't mustache guys, right?
Or are you?
No, but I'm down.
Yeah.
I mean, you look like you could grow a mustache, like, quickly.
Look at you, you know. Yeah, for sure. a little more narrow than i'd like it to be i'd like it to have a little more width
but i'm but i'm good with it yeah if you guys want to do a mustache thing all four of us
let's run it right now they're growing right now it takes me a while i'm a little follicly
challenged i uh i can actually grow a beard i know it doesn't look like it right now but It takes me a while. I'm a little follicly challenged.
I can actually grow a beard. I know it doesn't look like it right now,
but it can come in thick.
Have you grown a mustache ever?
I have, yeah. My mustache isn't, maybe if I gave it some time,
but it was pretty lackluster last time I did it. But I think that when I go like, you know, unshaving, it's pretty full.
You got to be careful.
You got to be careful because it's like I'm at the stage now
where I've spent like starting with the filming of Super Troopers 2
through then us filming our TV pilot and then shooting that season
and then season two.
I've had the majority of my last like four years have been spent with a
mustache.
And now I can't,
you know,
when you shave your mustache off,
you look weird to everybody.
And I can't,
I'm having trouble getting back to my looking at myself the way I used to
look at myself.
Like I used to gaze at myself in the mirror and now I try to avoid it.
Cause I'm like, I just look weird, know because it's like well like kevin was pointing
it out it's like you know like that you know that yeah mustache those are on fire i mean those are
manly that's some manly stuff man you guys think the five o'clock shadow has like seen its like
high point and we need to transition into a new de facto look for men.
I was watching UFC the other night and all three commentators had the same
five o'clock shadow.
Yeah.
I was like,
is this too much?
Like,
do we need to,
it's cyclical,
man.
It's cyclical.
You know,
like remember we used to watch Miami,
Miami vice,
right?
Let me,
you know,
that was the look.
And they actually sold the razors called the Miami device.
What did it have? Like each prong, it was like each prong was missing.
So you got it.
It shaved every third hair.
And so it would give you a Miami device.
Whoever came up with that thing was like, he,
he must've run to the patent store.
I mean, that's a great.
But then, yeah, it's like, but then George Michael, you know, he was the next one.
And it's like.
His head was up to his eyes.
Yeah.
He's still a werewolf.
Yeah.
I don't like that look.
I don't like the.
Because it's constructed. You know, it's like if you've got stubble it's
you haven't shaved so you have what about jt's look what about that look what about jt's look
he's dope dude legend he's dope because it's like because he's not trying to groom you know
it's like when you can see that the stubble has sure though are you sure you're not trying to
groom it i gave it a little trim ski today but i I try to keep it on natural. Cause I totally know what Steve's talking about. Yeah.
How often do you, do you give it a little clean?
Every third or fourth day, depending on if we're doing like stuff on camera.
Oh, nice. Yeah. I just don't, I, it's like,
this will probably come across as harsh and judgmental and I don't like to be
this way. I'm not attacking you know kevin
thinks i'm going to attack uh jt but i'm not going to it's it's i don't like the dudes who shave
listen by the grace of whatever they don't they don't have the jawline that they want but i don't
like dudes who shave a stubble jawline onto their face and then they've
got stuff coming out underneath it and you're like you've shaved a jawbone onto your face but it's
i know what you're doing and i don't like it you know like uh is that wrong of me no are you
accusing jt of doing that no i'm not coming out i'm not coming out jt i'm not i think it's probably
the weakest part of my aesthetic.
But I try not to do what he's talking about where you try to, like,
overcompensate with, like, the facial hair construction around it.
Sure.
No, we just met JT, but I think it looks great.
Thank you, dude.
Yeah.
I'm in your camp.
I think you can't have the stubble look too well-maintained.
You know?
You got to – you know, I feel like when you have nice stubble,
people are like, all right, that guy has lots of T.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, a good amount of T.
Yeah, but if you like – you know, if you're maintaining it,
you lose the T points, I think.
Well, I think you're totally right.
I think you're totally right. It's like when you watch the NHL playoffs and you're maintaining it, you lose the T points, I think. Well, I think you're totally right. I think you're totally right.
It's like when you watch the NHL playoffs and you're like,
oh, they're growing out their playoff beard,
and you see those dudes who within like a week,
they've just got like an awesome mustache and beard.
You're like, I wish I could do that.
I can't do that.
That guy's got good T.
Yeah.
But it's like let's not.
I don't.
Bad T. Yeah, you don't have good tea. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like, let's not, I don't.
I'm a bad tea.
Yeah.
You don't have bad tea.
Yeah.
I don't buy that.
He's got Irish tea.
Irish tea. I got Irish tea.
Irish tea.
That'd be a good name.
That'd be a good name for an Irish rapper.
Irish tea.
Irish tea.
That'd be awesome,
man.
Yeah.
Lay down my beats,
my Irish tea beats.
Oh yeah.
Do you rap at all?
No.
If we could just, but that should be the advertising for this podcast do you wrap it all no that's it i i can then go and you're out
done yeah it's a three-second podcast yeah guys thanks for joining stoke nation yeah we just had
a super extended uh razor ad so now we get into it right the razor ads over oh yeah
well i mean i guess i should ask like do you guys manscape you know below the belt yeah yeah uh my
wife is uh 12 years younger than me from miami and, uh, way to go, man.
Thanks dogs. So, uh, but when I met her, I mean,
we joke about it now, but like when she saw my dong for the first time,
and my hairy chest, she said in her, in her mind, like she's Cuban from Miami.
She was like, I guess that's just how this dude rolls.
And because she said I was the first pubic hair she'd ever seen in her life.
Really?
Wow.
Yeah.
And so, like, I'll go bare.
I'll take it all the way down now, you know?
And I like it.
I like it.
Yeah.
I tell this story often.
When I used to shave it all the way bare, and so did my younger brother,
my dad found out, and my mom caught him, like like a week later doing the same because did she like it uh you know she never told me actually
whether she liked it a lot kind of like the john parr my name being the same name as the guy from
right they never really give more information on it yeah they met in miami so she must have liked
it yeah they did meet in miami actually they got married in coconut grove that's true true I'm a huge Miami fan that's what I was saying yeah to you when you when you
mentioned your wife was from Miami my wife is from the Grove yeah that's my favorite place in the
world I love going there I love how a party just feels like it could pop off at any second on every
corner it's also one of those places where I suppose this is true of most places but like
uh when you go with a local it's different you, like you go to like those out of the way places and just, and you're right.
You know,
it's like a party can pop up anywhere and a break dance battle can happen at
any time. I've seen it.
I've been out of bars and seen break dance battles break out. And then,
and then, and then one second you jumped in. What? You know what?
Actually I was a few times ago I was there and a, sweet breakdance battle broke out. And I considered it. I considered going over there and being like, but then I was like, because what's going to happen is the old man. It's like when you see like Kyrie Irving dress up as an 80 year old guy for like the Pepsi commercial, and then he goes and starts draining.
Pepsi commercial. And then he goes and starts draining.
I'm going to go out there and the novelty will be that I'm an old guy and I start break dancing and I'm like, they'll go nuts when I do it,
but I don't feel like doing it. And so I didn't, I didn't.
I entered a dance circle one time at a, at this club called the wood,
this bar. And afterward, Oh, you know what?
I was dancing by myself and the people in the dance circle,
this is kind of the people in the dance circle called me over,
and I said, thank you.
And then I entered the circle, did a little number, and then I –
Let me ask you this, though.
Did you comedy dance, or did you really try to sell the dance?
There was a component of comedy,
but the comedy was coming from my sincerity in the dance
because I was bringing it with everything I had.
Yeah.
But it wasn't break dancing.
It was just hip gyrations and shoulders.
And how did they react?
They were into it.
They were really cool.
I mean, I was buzzing hard.
So I think they just liked that I emptied the tank.
Do you feel like you could go back and they'd remember you
and they're like, dude, get in the circle again?
Dude, that would be so nice if they remembered me.
That would be one of those magical things that like,
you're like,
Oh,
life is a special good thing.
You're that guy.
I remember you.
I thought about you every day since that night.
I'm like,
really?
Ernesto,
is that true?
JT?
It's true.
Yeah.
There's like a painting of you on the wall there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't think I've ever jumped into a dance circle in my life.
Not even comedy?
I don't think so.
Oh, dude, there's a few things we got to do after this podcast.
Try surfing.
Right, dance circles.
Mustaches, too.
And men's skates.
And kettlebells.
Kettlebells.
I was talking about kettlebells before you were on, JT.
Oh, nice, dude.
I'm sad I missed that.
Yeah, I was 17 minutes late to get on the podcast, guys,
because my computer did a full system reboot.
Just because you were doing kettlebells.
I should have said that, yeah.
I thought that's what you were going to say.
Come on, man.
Because I was doing – I just had to get an extra set in with the bells.
One more set to go, man.
Come on.
I'm cleaning jerks.
Yeah.
Well, Chad was saying that – we asked about your physique and where you were these days and he said you were looking pretty
toned and uh thought that maybe you've been hitting the kettlebells is that correct um i mean i i
thanks chad i uh yeah i'm stronger than i've been in a while i've been i've been taking advantage of
the quarantine all the time uh i'm on a text thread with these guys. We call ourselves the Kettlebell Boys.
And we just post what workouts we're doing every day.
And we're just in it.
I'm almost worried now that the testosterone is getting too high.
Because we're pushing it more and more every day.
And my friend did a workout the other day where I was like, hey, dude, I think you're
legit going to get hurt doing this.
And he's a way better athlete than me.
So he's probably fine.
But I was like, I think we might need to ease off the our
competitive juices a little bit because i don't know if my body can handle this but what if like
you notice that you're that scenario of your mustache starts getting thicker and thicker
it gets wider every time i lift yeah every time that's the kind of incremental improvement in a
really special place that would make it all make me push it really motivates you to work harder yeah exactly great do you guys do you guys work out together we have we did we used
to right we used to uh work for years for years what did you do well we had a trainer we had a
trainer named k flash his name was k flash was he oh yeah I think it was after beer fest. Right. Cause when we came back from beer fest,
you know,
I was about 50 pounds.
Like we had,
we drank so much and we're so out of shape.
And then we came back and we got this trainer together to try to not die.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he was,
his thing was he would come to your house and he,
and he had good prices.
And so he would train us two at
a time and kick our asses but we're gonna make you vomit for a few years was k flash cool super
cool yeah super do you have any like salient qualities that uh stick out in memory um he was a bit of a sadist. Like, uh, when you, you really had to watch what you said around him.
If you ever implied that you weren't dying from the workout, he would, he would kill
you.
And that was, there were so many, there are so many ways to say that you're not tired
that you don't realize, like there are so many traps could fall into. Is that where he'd be like,
Oh,
you think,
Oh really?
Okay.
Well,
how about this?
And then like,
you'd be doing,
there was a time that also that my brother started working around with us.
And then we were hanging out one night.
We had a softball game and my brother walked up casually next to K flash and
he started smoking a cigarette.
Oh man.
And K flash just looked at him like,
are you kidding me?
Yeah.
And then the next day he made him vomit. he did nice good man yeah so you guys were drinking during beer fest
like were you guys so the movie's about you guys competing in a beer drinking competition was that
going on like did that increase the partying because you guys were like it was the vibe of
the film there was definitely a lot of that like that was that was definitely the vibe and that was definitely what the the
spirit of it was and then people would come into the world and want to contribute to that like
you know the first day we we shot with those the german characters like will forte you guys know
will forte he came in and um he um he came in and uh decided he was going to show us that he's a really good drinker.
And this is at like 8 o'clock in the morning.
You're shooting these beer scenes or whatever.
And so he came in, and he decided he was going to chug.
He chugged a great chug.
So he chugged this full beer during this take.
A liter.
A liter.
It wasn't just a mug.
It was a huge Stein liter.
He opened his throat, pounded it.
Gone.
Wow. Everyone was like, whoa. He opened his throat, pounded it. Gone. Wow.
Everyone was like, whoa.
And then we said, take two.
And then, so then he had to do it again.
And he didn't want to lose face, so he did it.
And then it was take three, because that's the way you shoot movies.
And so he didn't realize, I mean, he didn't think about that.
And then we have a video of him, you know, 15 minutes later,
puking in the parking lot in the back because he went too far.
He'd gone too far.
So that was definitely the vibe of it, that people were just drinking a lot.
It was so unhealthy.
Well, and it was –
Yeah.
No, did it affect us?
No.
I mean, you know, the – when you, that, and I don't even know, like,
we would start off the day drinking fake beer.
You can't start at seven in the morning drinking real beer.
That's just, but by the end of the day, people would be drinking.
And that was more of a volume vomit.
You know, like he just, he pounded,
he had pounded three liters of beer in like 10 minutes and he
was out there vomiting but it was like the vibe was there the party was there and it's like i
remember like after the first like two or three weeks we were done with the actual beer fest
portion of it because we shoot all the you know we shot all the beer fest stuff at one time so
the early when they first go and then the end when they, when they come back and then we, we bid farewell to the, uh, you know,
to all the beer fest people. And, uh,
I remember it was the German team's last day of filming after like four
weeks or something like that.
And there was a big raging party and everyone wanted us to go head to head
for real. And so like we did it, we went against them and then they beat us,
but that's because we had, we had a weak link. No, we had a weak link.
And so that weak link got swapped out in favor of Heffernan's brother and he
came in and then we beat them on the second one.
And then the girls went and cause now we had to have a rubber match and
everyone wanted to take a moment.
So we did a crew checks versus cast checks and amazingly the girls went and uh because now we have to have a rubber match and everyone wanted to take a moment so we did uh crew checks versus cast checks and amazingly the the cast the actresses
won they beat the people away wow like the people in grip and electric and all that stuff yeah
get out of here and this is and now mind you this is like there's a crew of like 75 people and actors
and crew and we're all in this bar.
And you know, it's mayhem.
People are up on tables.
People are wasted.
You know, it's like loud competition.
And then, you know, then we went back up against the Germans and we defeated them.
And won for Team USA.
As we should.
Yeah, as we should.
That's awesome.
And that was just one day.
In fact, there was so much digestive issues,
I wound up getting hemorrhoids.
And to bring it back to K-Flash, he called them the lemmeroids.
So we'd be training, and he was making fun of me for having lemmeroids. That's K-Flash for you.
My whole story is to talk about K-Flash some more.
Dude, K-Flash.
Yeah, I was wondering because when i was watching i watched the movie
again i was just i was like did you guys go like for research for the movie did you go to ragers
you know did you learn about the strikeout and all that kind of stuff or was it just sort of
knowledge you had uh prior from yeah i think we just kind of it was a right what you know thing
and we just took all the games and things that we had done you know you know we did strikeouts in college and it was something
that we done all the time and it actually was that moment we were like oh you know what when
we make a movie we're going to put that in the movie and then so lemmy did it and and but let me
well i don't want to talk out of school but let me you did you did it for real
well my feeling was if if i'm doing a strikeout on film,
I'm going to do it for real. This is for all time.
So I can always look at it and say, that's a real strikeout up there.
And you know, you'll see it's, it's not cut. Right.
So like I had the real grass in there and the real beer and real tequila.
And I did it on the first one and blew out a pretty good amount of smoke.
And you know,
Heffernan and Chandler Sack are behind the camera and they they confer and Jay comes out he's like uh
it wasn't enough smoke we need you to do it again and so I did an even bigger hit and then I wound
up you know he's like it's the problem is it's just the way the lighting is it's just not we're
not getting enough smoke in the tube that's the problem so we need to go again I think I did it
what five times Queen yeah something like that now one of those will
fuck you up two of them will really fuck you up i did five and and um and then after the fifth one
these assholes came out they're like yeah we got it on the first take just so you know but it wasn't
even you weren't even coherent then like we found you like we were rapping we're like what the fuck
is lemmy and we went out and you were in the, like a parking lot, like wandering around completely incoherent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Walking around in the parking lot.
He gave me a ride home.
Yeah.
Thanks.
I mean,
you know,
I think it was just like us writing shit that we,
you know,
the different games that we played and whatever,
when we,
before we started shooting,
we did,
we revisited a lot of those games,
you know,
to try to remember all the things that we did. A lotited a lot of those games, you know, to try to remember all the things that we did.
A lot of quarters and a lot of, you know.
Well, the funny thing is we could,
we could write that all off on our taxes because it was a,
it was a little research and development, but Heffernan,
we had a funny thing too, cause we were playing quarters, you know,
it's like, you know, you drink, drink the quarter.
And when it's in your teeth, then you can spit it out.
Heffernan actually accidentally swallowed the quarter, and when it's in your teeth, then you can spit it out. Heffernan accidentally swallowed the quarter.
He did?
Yeah, he did.
I was overexcited.
And then the quarter went down.
And then he says, if you shit out two dimes and a nickel, then we worry.
Well, we have other thoughts.
Our thought was like when it came out, the other side,
George Washington would be in a scream pose
in the corner.
The horror of going through
having his body.
We thought maybe we would sell it
on eBay and it would be
worth more.
If that was the case, if we got a good price for it,
then we would just start eating,
making you eat change.
But that's the thing, it never came out.
I don't think it ever came out because, like, you know,
you'd sit around and you'd wait to hear the clink in the bottom of the toilet.
I never heard it.
Interesting.
Do you think it was, like, buried deep inside?
I don't know.
Like a loaf or something?
It may have been.
It may have been.
But, you know, still, I feel like you'd hear it, you know?
Yeah. I mean, a quarter's a pretty good size.
It'd look like a shiny,
yeah, you'd see the shine.
I think it's possible that a quarter could get
lost inside your loaf.
It's certainly possible. I'm not saying it's not possible,
but I'm just saying, you know,
I was kind of looking forward to hearing the clink.
We all were. We all were. We all thought about coming over was kind of looking forward to hearing the clink. We all were.
We all were.
We all thought about coming over to your house and just waiting for the clink.
Sure.
And then you guys all went to Bucknell together, right?
Colgate.
Colgate University.
Same conference, right?
Same conference, yeah.
Same sports conference.
Patriot League.
Yeah.
And did you guys just all join the improv team there,
and that's how you guys all got connected, or were guys homies before that some of us were we we kind of started
um my buddy was jay chaner sekar who's in the group and um he had done a bunch of stuff in
chicago a bunch of improv stuff and so when we were at school he wanted to do that and he got
the opportunity like some student theater group gave him some money and said you
know why you put together a show and so uh we assembled this group and um lemmy came in and
auditioned he was we knew him from our fraternity house or whatever but he wasn't you know in my
group of friends necessarily and then um and i i hated him i didn't even like him so i didn't even
want him to be a part of that i i adamantly fought against him to be in the comedy group.
No way.
Is that true?
Yeah,
that's true.
He hated me.
Why'd you hate him?
If you don't mind me asking.
Yeah,
there are a couple of incidents,
honestly,
that,
you know,
he was a little bit of a scummy dude.
And,
uh,
you know,
I mean,
one of the things we've talked about before is,
you know,
we,
we, uh uh we would
have these parties at our fraternity house and in the wintertime it's very cold up there and you
know everyone have winter coats and stuff and everyone come to the parties and you throw your
winter coat into like a big pile in the middle of the room you know and then after the party you
take your coat you go home and so uh you know one night i went to the pile and uh my coat was gone
my coat was missing somebody My coat was missing.
Somebody had stolen my coat.
I was pissed off because it was fucking cold out.
A couple weeks went by, and there was another party.
Then my coat showed back up again at the room.
I picked it up.
I said, holy shit, my coat.
I reached into the coat, and the idiot had left his college ID in the coat.
The guy who stole the coat left evidence behind.
And I looked at the ID, and the ID was Stephen Lemme.
And I was like, who the fuck is Stephen Lemme?
And I went and I found him.
He was like dancing on the dance floor.
Goddamn right I was. The dance circle probably.
Goddamn right I was.
You were in the middle of the circle?
Yeah, right in the middle of the circle.
And I was like, dude, you stole my coat.
He's like, I found your id in my coat he goes holy shit the guy who stole your coat must be the same guy who
stole my id that's great improv that's very good improv yes ending it right away yeah that's right
yes and the basics well in my defense so i was a freshman, he and Jay were a year older than me. And I came, you know,
the weather could turn on a dime and the,
the blizzard had started and the freshman lived up this hill that was called a
cardiac hill. And so, you know, whatever it like,
there's a pile of coats there. Yeah. I stole one. But the thing is,
I went, I was shopping while I was shopping for the coat,
I found one that wrapped around me a couple of times. And to make matters better, I reached
into the pocket and there was a jumbo Snickers bar in the pocket. I was like, ladies and gentlemen,
we have a winner. And I ate that Snickers bar on the way home. And yeah, I guess I was blacked out because I didn't know where I got the coat.
And a few weeks later, I mean, I was wearing it all over campus, Kev.
Yeah, wow.
For a couple of weeks.
But you guys have maintained a professional relation for quite a few years.
That's pretty awesome.
Well, yeah.
That's the thing.
I tried out.
So Jay and Kevin started the comedy group is that I tried out. So Jay and Kevin started the comedy group and I tried out and Kevin,
well, first I pledged the fraternity and Kevin didn't want me to join.
And then I tried out for the comedy group and Kevin didn't want me to be in
it, but my audition was so supreme.
He had no choice. Like Jay was like, come on, he'll, what did he say?
Like he can play the scumbag and he was like, ah, okay can hire him he can play with the scummy guy barnes says be so good
they can't say no yeah that's right and then and then kevin and i kevin and i wrote a sketch about
socrates and plato uh where it's true nice i was socrates and he was plato and i have to tell you
it was the top sketch of that very first show uh and, and while we were writing it, we were having a good time laughing. And, uh,
and we have to, although I, you know, this Kevin,
I've mentioned this a couple of times to my dismay,
I have recently found out that even though we did two sketch comedy, uh,
shows at Colgate and then we're friends at Colgate and then in New York city,
we did a bunch of sketch comedy run like for years.
Colgate and then we're friends at Colgate.
And then in New York city, we did a bunch of sketch comedy run like for years.
And then it,
it wasn't until I wrote a movie screenplay that Kevin actually started to
like me.
Cause he,
he thought I was finally becoming slightly respectable.
It was responsible young man.
Yeah.
So,
you know,
it took me a while to get him.
Jeez.
Fucking tough not to crack.
Right.
But that makes you chase it a little bit more.
You can feel like they're,
they're not quite all the way sold on you. And you just, you're just like, I got not to crack. Right. But that makes you chase it a little bit more. You can feel like they're not quite all the way sold on you,
and you're just like, I got to get this guy.
I always feel that way with Kev.
The thing is, I'll never work as hard as Kevin.
And he knows it, and I know it, and it's okay.
It's Chad and I, too.
Yeah, I can't work as hard as Chad.
It's just, it's not, I just can't do it.
Yeah.
Do you guys have that?
Like, you know, Chad works a little harder than you do, JT?
Yeah, he's like, he works harder than anyone, though.
When I do feel bad about it, I have to remind myself
that no one can work as hard as he does.
I badger him a lot.
What about this? What about that?
You're the sergeant at arms, man.
No one needs the sergeant at arms.
Chad, we should work together.
No, but that's the thing.
Don't take him from me, dude. Don't do it to me dude please we film another beer fest type thing let's just rage
it is you know like i'll tell you it's like uh it's those movies i mean club dread we were down
in mexico for 10 weeks making that movie and that was uh
out of control that was out of control oh really well we were we went down we had to shoot it we
needed to find a really beautiful resort to film on and so we found a place that was incredible
but we couldn't afford to film there and then stay at a hotel in town.
And so we went up,
the only way we could do it was to,
to live at the resort that we were shooting at.
So we took over this resort.
And so,
and this is like each room was a cabana with,
uh,
you know,
uh,
your own private swimming pool,
your own private jacuzzi,
your whole,
your whole,
and secluded. And it was
right on the beach. And so, and we were there for 10 weeks. And I think we partied every single one
of those days and late, but we would, but every single day and night we would thank, we would
count our, our, our lucky stars, thank our lucky stars. We knew, we knew it might, it would probably
never be that good again.
And it's true.
You could keep it positive while you were partying.
Like it never like,
you know,
some people get like,
like emotional or something like that,
but it would seem like you can't do that if you're like running a set.
Right.
So.
Yeah.
I mean,
you had to get up for work too.
I mean,
it's like,
yeah,
right.
There are all kinds of studio people there and they,
they know you're spending 10,
12 million bucks,
whatever.
You gotta, you can't fuck around too much you know is it hard to incorporate other actors because you guys have such a distinct like uh kind of cadence and pattern with one another is it hard
to bring other actors into that but no i mean you know i think it might be hard sometimes for people
to feel like but i think we're pretty accepting you know i mean our whole
philosophy has always been like to be good-natured and to create a world where you know people feel
like they're you know in a group of friends hanging out having a good time you know what i
mean right and so i think we try to do that well on our sets in terms of making it welcome and people
feel like they're having fun or having a good time and you know i've been on sets and people have been on sets before where it's you know a little heavier or
you know not as much fun but i think our thing is always trying to have fun so i think we will
enjoy it you know and like brian cox like yeah he's like this legendary stage actor and then
like you and like you know done all these amazing but he fits so into like the vibe you guys had
in a super troopers like it felt like he really was your
guys's boss in that yeah yeah well and he he's it's funny because we come from really opposite
ends of things like he's a trained actor and he has traveled the world and done shakespeare
and you know we i think we felt there was certainly in super troopers one when we were
shooting the the end sequence where we're all driving around in the
car with him, you know,
the rest of us got stoned and we didn't tell him.
And this is like four in the morning and we were just giggling and laughing
and he was annoyed. He did. He, at one point he said,
whatever happened to craft as he was,
he was staring out the window, wistfully says, whatever. Oh Kraft as he was doing this? Did he not say that? He really said that?
He was staring out the window wistfully.
He said, whatever happened to Kraft?
Oh, yeah.
That's so funny.
But then when we were shooting Super Troopers 2, he and I were, and Soder were standing outside a vestibule waiting for action to be called.
And we were shooting, and he, somehow we got on the subject of of weed and he mentioned that even getting high every night and we were like wait a second you you get high he's
like of course i got high and uh and we were like what do you have on you right now and he's like
dank sinatra it was like holy fucking shit you do and then i mean you know i went on from there but it
was like holy shit okay okay that kind of that's another piece that that makes sense yeah yeah yeah
you can feel that in all your movies and and the show it's it's like um i think it bleeds through
this it's like feeling of like these guys had the best time making this movie.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Is there something you guys have done?
Or go ahead.
No,
I just say that's kind of what I was saying.
It's like,
it's a thing where you just try to create,
like we never try to be mean or spiteful.
You know,
I feel like you guys are similar.
It's like,
you know,
there's not a thing where you try to be mean or take other person down.
You know, if we're making fun of somebody,
it's usually you're making fun of ourselves.
If you retaliate against someone just because they did something to you and it
makes it, it makes it kind of a more inviting world.
There's like a code.
Yeah. And so, you know, I think, you know, that's part of it.
You know, it's also part of it that we've known each other for so long. then you know the show the tacoma fd show it's like let me and i've known
each other so long we know what annoys each other you know about the other guy we know you know what
makes the other guy laugh that kind of stuff and i think you can feel that if you're playing friends
on camera and your friends off camera can help you and i feel like the jokes have changed a little
bit see like i was wondering in the pilot for to come fd when you guys are working with the alpaca and there's it's i love it so much
that you guys have the saltine bit before and then it circles back to be the solution with the
alpaca like it was just like it was like a perfect way to like integrate the hijinks into like the
story and to like actually have it work out but i was wondering like if you guys were like
like would there have been a time where it wouldn't have worked with the alpaca?
And now it almost felt like Tacoma FD was a little more, I don't know if it was positive in the outcomes,
but a little more like the hijinks works for the solution more or something like that.
Right, that there's a positive outcome or whatever.
Yeah, exactly.
As opposed to a negative outcome.
Yeah.
yeah yeah it's i mean it's interesting because we have um
like we have in our first season we they brought in some writers who were polished television showrunners to mentor us because we had never done that before and i think those guys really like
i think they helped elevate our television writing um you know just to just to help us it was like it was the first
time i think we'd worked with anybody there's a fresh new set of voices that like just i don't
know if it was to help hone us or to just make us a little bit more i don't want to say mainstream
but like just more television friendly where it's like there is a rhythm to TV that works. Um, you know, like we don't like, I know in super troopers one and two,
it's like we, we end on, you know, Hey,
we got screwed again or we don't know how things are going to work out.
And it's like, uh, the TV show doesn't really happen that way. Like we,
you know, we, we, we, we tie everything up. Uh,
I think also maybe what JT was saying is like another thing that we've been
pretty conscious about is that, you know, when we did super troopers,
there was this kind of idea of comparing us to like the police Academy or
stuff like that, which is, you know,
more bumbling cops or whatever it was, which is never our intention.
And I don't know that's even true in super troopers,
but when we were doing this, this new show, we were kind of like, you know,
we have to show respect for these guys, the first responders,
and, you know, to show them as being good at their jobs was kind of the
important thing for us.
You guys are more competent.
You guys are, like, a little bit cooler.
Yeah.
So the idea was, you know, you don't want to make fun of it in the sense
of these guys are not good at their job.
The idea is they're good at their jobs, but they also like to have fun.
And so I think when we approach each kind of, like, scenario,
firefighter scenario or whatever, we try to say like,
okay, how do we make these guys look good and respectable
and show our respect for that while at the same time having fun, you know?
So I think that's probably part of what we do.
Did you guys have relatives who are cops or firefighters?
Like did you have people you knew
that you sort of had some knowledge?
Yeah, I have a few family members
who are firefighters.
But they always,
whenever we made Super Troopers,
they're always like,
oh, you know, cops are really funny,
but you know what's really funny?
It's firefighters.
So if you guys ever want to do a firefighter show,
talk to us.
And so when we pitched the show
and we put it together,
we went back and talked to him. This cousin, Cousin Bill so we, uh, when we, when we pitched the show and we put it together, we went back and talked to him.
I have this cousin,
cousin Bill,
we call him.
And he ended up becoming our technical consultant.
And he's a,
he's just a dude from Connecticut.
He's a firefighter for 27 years.
And we got him to come out here to the set.
And as soon as he showed up,
he started wearing Hawaiian shirts.
He started driving a convertible,
wearing sunglasses,
hysterical. Yeah. He was like a,ible, wearing sunglasses, hysterical.
He was like a cliche technical advisor,
but awesome because he'll tell us
when we look like idiots.
You know, he's like,
you're wearing your hat right
or you're not using that pack right
or you're not holding your axe right.
You know, he'll tell you that.
And now, you know,
the authenticity is something
I think firefighters like.
We hear from the firefighters like,
oh, that's a guard station.
And it's because
the technical stuff that he does for us.
Although the other
day, he kind of...
We actually interviewed him. We have an
after show after Tacoma FD. It's called
Talk Home FD. And we had him on
as a guest. We just interviewed him.
And he laid out like four or five
things that we
fucked up that he disagreed with. And I, I, you know,
I wish he had told us at the time that like these are violations of things,
but he didn't. And anyway, that's it.
Creative license.
Yeah. No, he's mad at us. He's mad at us. Or maybe, you know,
but he said he'd relaxed a little bit. Cause we had,
we seem to have learned so much about being firefighters that he,
you know, he kind of loosened the reins.
You know what we're doing?
Maybe he's just coming to Hollywood, man.
He's the definition of gone Hollywood.
Yeah.
If anyone's ever tried a convertible lately.
Yeah. I've been driving a convertible.
I borrowed my mom's convertible.
What kind?
It's like a W like two series. They've my mom's convertible. What kind? It's like a W2 series. They've changed
all their numbers around. I think it's a 2 series. Yeah. Oh, dude, but today I drove through. I was
feeling so good. I've been kind of happy lately. I drove through the gate of my apartment building.
It's supposed to open up and I was just feeling so good. I was checking a text message,
bopping to music. And right in front of my landlord, I just drove straight through the gate,
knocked it off the access and just, Oh, really?
I was like, Elliot was like, what are you doing?
And I was like, dude, I'm just a fucking idiot.
I've been in enough cars.
Did you mess up the car?
It got a little bit of a ding on it.
I think if I buff it out, it would be pretty hard to tell.
But yeah, I did.
I did give it a little,
you can see like where the,
one of the gate rails went into the car or the car rather your mom your mom didn't get pissed then i haven't
told her yet jonathan parr you get out here right now jonathan thomas jonathan thomas parr you get
out here right now she'll be almost she's colombian thomas what happened yeah thomas you have to pay attention
and then her boyfriend will probably be upset but he's like a really nice guy so he'll be like
it's okay but it'll probably be when i was staying at his mom's house she knew she was in missouri
but she knew how to turn on the jacuzzi so i'd be like jt i need to i need to hop in for a soak
and he'd call his mom she'd be like amor he's like mom i need the jacuzzi she's like okay yeah just like turn up she was like watching us
from uh yeah because there's cameras i guess yeah let me would his mom and your dad get along i mean
being colombian and argentinian well apparently his mom doesn't like argentinians dude Dude, she used to talk smack on him, and then I had an Argentinian,
which I actually said Argentines earlier.
And I had an Argentinian babysitter, and I actually spilled the beans.
I was like, yo, my mom says y'all are like this and that.
And then I guess the lady told my mom when she got back,
but I was already snoozing. So I missed the conflicts.
Yeah.
But here's the thing.
It's like every Hispanic knows that Argentina,
Argentinians are the number one Hispanics.
After that, it's, you know, like, like my wife is Cuban.
So, you know, I'll humor her.
And I mean, Cubans are very, are are very, are cool, good looking people.
You know,
Colombians are pretty good too.
But what is it?
What's the knock on the Colombians?
What's the,
what are the Argentinians say about the Colombians?
What is the knock?
What's up?
I don't know.
You guys are kind of,
you know,
back ass.
What does back ass mean?
That's probably pretty back ass.
I mean,
what is that?
Yeah,
exactly.
Like not worldly.
Like, you know, like hillbillies, you know.
What?
Dude, my mom says Colombians speak the best Spanish in the world, though.
She says Colombian Spanish is the most beautiful,
but that might be her, you know.
Yeah.
And who has the better soccer team?
Argentina.
Argentina.
Oh, yeah.
They're one of the best, right?
I mean, if you want to win with a guy like Maradona,
he brings shame and disgrace on.
Sure.
No, I'm going to.
Wait, Colombia is where they killed the guys.
I like everybody saying that as it came out.
Didn't they kill the guy who scored the goal against their own?
Their own goal, yeah.
Escobar, the two Escobars.
The two Pablos, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember when I was watching that doc with my friend,
and they were like, he's like, what happens to the other Escobarobar and i'm like do you see him as one of the talking heads in this
documentary yeah it's like yeah that's a good that's a great documentary by the way it's so
good yeah those guys are amazing yeah well no it's also you know it's like uh pablo you know
it's kind of like do you guys watch the mand Mandalorian? Oh, yeah. The Mandalorian.
I mean, it's like, that's essentially Columbia once Pablo Escobar died.
You know, the empire is gone.
Pablo Escobar is gone.
And now all hell breaks loose because they were the ones who were kind of maintaining law and order.
Yeah.
That shit's deep, let me.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Iraq after Saddam, too.
Where we're like, oh, I guess like having a despotic leader kind of keeps things together
a little bit
when there's a lot of warring facts.
The Mandalorian's
a modern day allegory, bro.
Dude.
Man.
There's an allegory in there.
Dude.
It makes it hit, dude.
Allegory really is,
you pop off some allegory,
there's no,
that's a chapter closer.
You're like,
okay, let's move on
to the next subject. Right. We just busted out some allegory. Yeah, there's that's, that's a chapter closer. You're like, okay, let's move on to the next subject.
We just busted out some allegory.
Yeah. It's like everything in the seventies was supposed to be Nixon, right?
Like it was all about like Watergate paranoia and stuff like that.
Yeah. It was an allegory, man.
Yeah. It was, as they say, it was allegorical.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It fires me up, dude.
Did you ever see that movie, Mother?
No, I didn't watch it.
The Jennifer Lawrence movie?
Oh, right, right, right.
I heard it wasn't good, though.
Is it not good?
I haven't seen it, but it's allegory.
Oh, wow.
I'll definitely check it out.
I didn't see you throwing that out there.
That was good.
Wasn't it like Darren Aligorski Wasn't it Darren Aligorski?
Yeah, Darren Aligorski.
Okay.
Aligorski.
I'm definitely in this.
Selling point.
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right back to the show do you know i think i i met you guys briefly i don't know if the whole
crew was there but i met some of you guys at a sundance film festival my friends and i used to
just drive out there to watch movies.
Like we'd do the wait list thing and just check out whatever we did.
Yeah, yeah.
And we met you guys at like the big pizza place that they have there,
like Main Street Pizza or whatever.
And we were all downstairs waiting for the bathroom.
And I mean this sincerely.
You guys were chill as fuck.
Oh, really?
Okay.
Yeah.
Lemmy wasn't his usual dickish self?
I don't think Lemmy was there by the restroom,
but the guys who did meet were chill as fuck.
Yeah.
I remember that place.
Should I have just said you were there?
Yeah, come on, dude.
Sorry, dude.
We would go there regularly late night.
That would be the late night stop, get some pizza after it was all said and done.
Dude, yeah, that was a cool place.
Actually, yeah, I had some wild times there.
At the pizzeria?
Yeah. Both, both, yeah, I had some wild times there. Yeah. At the pizzeria? Yeah.
Both. Both. Yeah.
I just, I actually just had an interaction on Twitter.
Morgan Freeman put up that video on Twitter of the dude eating the watermelon
with his dog next to him also eating a watermelon. Have you seen that video?
No.
I haven't seen it. It's a guy eating a watermelon. He you seen that video? I haven't seen it.
It's a guy eating a watermelon. He's wearing a shirt.
And then the dog has got a matching shirt and the dog has this pause on
watermelon and is eating watermelon. Yeah. And, um,
I was like, I'd really love to see, uh, and Morgan Freeman posted it.
And I wrote, I'd really love to see Morgan Freeman narrating this thing.
And then he wrote back, it was actually Morgan J. Freeman.
He's not that Morgan Freeman, but he is the Morgan J. Freeman
who directed a movie called Hurricane Streets, which was at Sundance
when we were there with our first movie, Puddle Cruiser.
And he said, I hung out with you guys at a party.
He didn't say we were chill as fuck but he did say uh we had a good time
whoa dude my brother and i were just talking about hurricane streets that's weird oh really
like a month ago but we were talking about it that was a good movie yeah like tight like script
the ending with the dad getting popped in the head and the whole vibe yeah yeah that's great
yeah so i was tweeting mean that mean uh morgan freeman
were tweeting at each other about sundance parties but i'm confused it's not the morgan freeman
movie star morgan freeman okay no it was uh morgan j freeman that would be impressive
changing his name to something else yeah you would think so in there but that's like you know michael b jordan the actor like what do
you say to him like yeah you know he's kind of killing it what are you gonna say chad he's
killing it i was just wondering uh did you think it was the other morgan freeman when he tweeted
that and then you realized after or did you know as the director? Do you know what? When I saw it notified me on my phone,
Morgan J. Freeman,
I immediately was like,
of course it's not Morgan Freeman.
Of course it's not Morgan Freeman.
And then he reminded me that we'd hung out at...
Oh, no.
Yeah, anyway,
he reminded me that we'd hung out at Sundance
many years ago.
But you've been working on a Morgan Freeman impression, haven't impression haven't you done you know i have dude hit it let's hear it yeah
we can all try one okay okay okay okay now
now what andy didn't realize was...
That's it.
Dude, you know what?
I was going to bring up Andy in my impression, too.
You got to bring up Andy, right?
Me, too.
I miss my friend Andy.
Yeah, I miss my friend Andy.
It's not good.
I think it's pretty good.
I think it's a good performance, right?
Wait a second.
Did you hear that?
What, Chad?
Did that sound good?
Yeah, do it again.
Jim Carrey, I'm God.
That's good.
That's good.
He didn't say that in the movie.
Did that sound good?
He didn't say Jim Carrey in the movie.
No, no.
I forgot the character's name.
Oh, dude, I didn't even clock that. Yeah, no, he was Jim Carrey in that movie. No, no. I forgot the character's name. Oh, dude, I didn't even clock that.
Yeah, no, he was Jim Carrey in that movie.
For sure. That would have been interesting.
Do you guys think that's the quintessential
Morgan Freeman performance? Shawshank?
Shawshank?
I mean,
probably, yeah.
Did he win the Academy Award for that? I think so.
He should have, at least. That was 94?
I think that was. It's probably him. least that was 94 best i think that was probably
it's probably him yeah unless it's john turturro and quiz show i'm kidding that's he won that year
94 yeah yeah yeah maybe maybe glory he's really good in that too oh fucking a yeah glory best movie's good it's so good right
i like along came a spider but you know that's whatever what are you guys yeah little jay
patterson dude that author i used to read his books like crazy you can just pound him in like
a day yeah kiss the girls and along came a spider yeah all of his killers were seven
yeah every one of his killers was like good with women
and always getting laid yeah it's like it's kind of like you were like oh it's kind of hot to be a
serial killer yeah and kiss the girls there were two of them on each coast and they found each
other and you know killed girls together and boned chicks they bonded tough to find two guys
tried to kill the singer
Joss Stone together
or kidnap her
with swords
and my brother
and I always thought
that was kind of special
that those two guys
found each other
like two guys
who
Destiny
pop star
yeah
I mean how many of those guys
end up just being alone
their whole lives
now
Andy
tunneled through
150 yards
of human feces
it's not good it's not good we had will sasso on our podcast and sasso came on and broke down
morgan freeman in five minutes and was doing an incredible morgan freeman
did you guys see the one on arnold schwarger? Do you remember the Imagine video that all the
celebrities did? Yeah.
Did you see that clip
he did where it cuts
to Arnold?
Or he just did the voiceover for Arnold.
He's like, look at this donkey.
He had that string of videos.
Well, it was
in Vine. When Vine existed,
he was on a tear doing Arnold Schwarzenegger things.
They were just so funny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We were actually talking about it.
They were singing Imagine.
He's like, what's it?
No, go ahead.
Go ahead.
They were singing Imagine.
He's like, I can't even do the impression.
Do it.
Just do it, Chad.
Down with the sickness.
I can't even do the impression.
Do it.
Just do it, Chad.
Get down with the sickness.
I ruined it.
Cut that out, JT.
I suck, dude.
I suck.
No, you nailed it.
You nailed it.
You nailed it, man.
Thank you, guys.
Yeah, you're welcome. I was wondering, did you guys. Yeah, you're welcome.
I was wondering, did you guys, so when you guys graduated college, did you have like a plan to go out to L.A. and write a movie and sell it?
Or like did you just sort of like go out to L.A. and just like we're going to see what happens?
No, we didn't actually.
Let me I didn't move to la until we had failed
right let me yeah because we graduated from school and then we all moved to new york city
and then we started doing live comedy shows there in new york city and then um and then we just
started making movie like short films and stuff we would show in our shows and stuff and then
and then ultimately we made uh our first feature which we took the sundance it's called puddle cruiser and then um we kind of got the ball rolling that
way that's how we got super troopers made and then uh after and we did super troopers club
jet we lived in new york and then after that we club dread didn't do well at the box office and
so we decided to move out to la well it, Club Dread opened up against the passion of the Christ.
Oh, I saw that that opening weekend.
I went to Catholic school.
Yeah.
Well, that's what we were doing.
We were standing in New York City.
We were standing in a movie theater in Times Square.
And we'd go there to see who was going to see our movie. And then we would watch these dudes walk in and we knew that they were our demographic.
They're going to see our movie.
And then there would be people standing there
who had bought out all the tickets,
like church groups,
from Passion of the Christ.
And they were handing out free tickets
to anybody who walked in.
And that's when we knew we were in trouble
because everyone took a ticket.
What's that?
Came out on Easter,
Passion of the Christ or something?
No, it was in February.
Okay.
I remember I was in love with this girl,
Cheyenne,
and we saw it together and she was like really freaked out by it and I remember I was in love with this girl Cheyenne and we saw it together
and she was like
really freaked out by it
and I remember cuddling her
I was like
this is the closest
we'll ever be
you use it to your advantage
man
you use it to your advantage
yeah
but I did
I went to church
after I saw it that day
I was feeling super Catholic
I went straight to St. Eddie's
and I was like oh dude give me some of this god
your experiences were better than ours ours sucked we were depressed
yeah you guys must have been pissed at the fashion like fucking mel gibson dude
yeah it made like 125 million dollars in like three days we're like oh yeah it's not even in
english yeah some some language doesn't exist anymore.
Well, that was like,
we were so cocky beforehand.
Like the studio was like,
the movie's not in English.
Don't worry about it.
And we were like doing interviews
and we're like,
we're going to kick God's ass.
We're taking God down.
And then he smote us.
He crushed us. That happens to us all the time like we uh last
week you know at our mid-season premiere of tacoma fd we returned to tv and and went up against major
league baseball opening day and that significantly hurt our numbers and and this week wow yeah this
week we're going to better than baseball well not that night
not that night and this thursday uh we're going up against nba opening night so it's like uh
yeah we have we're bad luck i think kev we're doing all right yeah you guys are crushing
um we were talking before the podcast started.
We were having a pretty riveting conversation about Arnold versus The Rock.
Yeah.
Maybe we can recreate that.
Where do you guys fall in this epic debate?
Well, first of all, we are huge Schwarzenegger fans.
There's no question about that.
But if you're going to ask me, I don't know.
I might take The Rock.
I might take The Rock now in his prime. i take schwarzenegger in his prime um you know and i love rock has more range though you
gotta admit he's got more range i don't know that he does and in fact schwarzenegger can't do moana
you kidding me you don't know that i know that moana too. Should we do Schwarzenegger singing
You're Welcome?
You're welcome.
You're welcome.
Schwarzenegger played the Terminator.
The Rock has never played a bad guy.
Sure he has.
What was that?
Driven?
What was that movie?
There's a movie where he's a bad guy.
Is he bad in that?
I think so.
Isn't he?
Or is he just misunderstood?
Oh no,
I know.
Spawn.
The original Spawn?
I don't know.
With Michael Jal White?
What,
not Spawn.
What's the one,
it's in space and it was based on a video game.
Oh,
Doom?
Doom?
Oh,
Doom.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He is a bad guy in Doom.
Carl Urban's a good guy.
The Rock is in Doom?
He doesn't turn bad until
like the third act though spoiler alert good guy yeah but arnold took the world by storm i mean
it's like you know like then you go conan versus have absolutely no acting talent i mean he's built
for him for that reason but i think he's i think he's better at comedy though i i have to say
arnold yeah oh dude well this is this is the point i was making is that kindergarten But I think he's better at comedy, though, I have to say. Schwarzenegger?
Arnold.
Yeah, Arnold.
Dude, well, this is the point I was making, is that... Kindergarten Cop's a good movie.
Yeah, and Twins is a good movie, too.
Yeah.
And Jingle All The Way.
Yeah.
This is bullshit, though, because now you guys are setting up a scenario where you got, like,
this is like a pick between Beatles and the Stones thing,
where I don't have to pick between the Beatles and the Stones.
I like them both.
Right.
But Kevin, you know, Kevin,
you don't like these hypothetical conversations either.
No.
You know, like we would say,
which would you rather do?
Would you rather do this with Karl Malone
or do that with Patrick Ewing?
And you'd be like, it would never happen.
So it doesn't matter, you know?
Oh, wow.
That's actually one of my things I do on Instagram. I just ask my roommate either ors like that yeah kevin won't play those don't
ask kevin he won't play with you i'm like dinner with like sean camper like brunch with patrick
ewing it'll never happen that's what kevin that's what kevin wants to say it'll never happen
it might without attitude it won't dude it's not real i think that could be in the cards
yeah i'd probably well i'd make a movie with either of those guys the rock or schwarzenegger With that attitude, it won't, dude. It's not real. I think that could be in the cards. Yeah.
I'd probably do – Well, I'd make a movie with either of those guys, The Rock or Schwarzenegger.
I would too.
But when I was a kid and Schwarzenegger was coming up, like he was a god.
He was –
Yeah, no, I mean once you hit like Predator, you're great.
You're a great shit.
But like when he took off his shirt, like you'd be waiting.
Like Commando, you're like when is he going to take off his shirt?
And then he'd do it.
When it came time to kick some ass, he'd take off his shirt. then he'd do it when it came time to kick some ass he'd take off well he does that in the opening
scene though he's carrying that log yeah he's got his shirt on but he's got his shirt on but
he doesn't take his shirt off until he until he paddles the raft to the island in a bikini
in a bikini you know yeah yeah the rock's not doing that these days you know it was
once they were the first guy to walk with a machine gun while all the bad guys are scurrying and he's just walking tough call because because stallone
then they were that was the beauty of it it was kind of like they were pushing each other they
were cobra yeah i mean you had cobra you had rambo you had you know you had all those things
and it's like they would top each other with body count.
Right.
It was like Sosa McGuire and their home run Derby.
You know,
did you guys read though?
Have you guys read that?
Like in the,
in the fast and furious contracts,
like Vin Diesel and the rock,
it was a contractual that they,
neither of them could win a fight against the other one.
Yeah.
That,
yeah. That was a bit of a bummer.
What about Vin Diesel or The Rock?
Was it that
they can't lose a fight ever?
They have to win every time.
His sister keeps
track of how many times Vin gets punched.
Who do you take in that? Are you Vin Diesel
or are you guys The Rock?
I'm Vin Diesel. Really? I'm The Rock. with rock yeah but who do you take in that are you vin diesel or are you guys the rock i'm vin diesel really i'm the rock not on body of well actually on body of work too but just on gravitas i i don't
know vin diesel's speech in the first fast and furious about living his life a quarter mile at
a time i don't know if the rock has ever hit that level of magnitude and i'm being straight up
sincere i mean that like from my gut yeah yeah i i think
with i think with schwarzenegger and vin they're a little bit more raw you know like the rock is a
little bit too polished right like he says too much charisma like his you know his teeth are
too shiny his his instagram captions are like too perfect you know he never fucked a maid and have a kid
yeah
Arnold
yeah
that's what it boils down to
no no that's not a legend that actually
happened to the kid
if The Rock
put up an Instagram video where he's like doing
curls and he's like you know lifting
feels like coming.
I'd rethink my stance on him a little bit.
You're right.
You're right.
You want a little bit – you want a little more edge for The Rock.
By the way, Pumping Iron, that movie is an exercise in sports psychology.
He picks apart the Ferrignosos father and son dude and it's
it's amazing and by the way his body is is sick like yeah you liked to look at his body it was
sick the way he dominates his dad heartbreaking yeah it is heartbreaking i read his biography and
he he talks about how he would like try to like fake them out a little bit
like when he's doing a pose he would do like a move where it looked like he was finishing the
pose and then he'd go back to the pose right so then lou would finish his pose a little bit earlier
so he'd stay in the pose for like you know 10-15 seconds longer and that's how he would he would
edge him out yeah they i think they have that in pumping iron, right. Where he,
that's one of his little strategies.
Yeah. I hit the double bicep and he thought I was done with my poses.
And then I hit the rear double bicep and I flat.
That's when I knew I had him.
This is a genius.
Yeah. Yeah.
That work. Yeah.
We went, we went to his office and he has like he has photos of him with like every
president like him and george hw bush on a sled and then he's just like you know he has like
statues from russia and then like a uh dresser drawer full of swords i'm like this guy he's an
american uh success story he's a yeah the's an American success story. He's the American
trait. His greatest regrets, they won't let him
run for president. Yeah, his main
drawer at his desk, you open it, you think there's
going to be yellow legal patent tape? It's just
knives.
I believe it.
I believe it.
I heard a similar thing about Gary Busey on
his Comedy Central show
or something
he had a briefcase and no one ever knew what was in it
and then one day PA opened it and it was just chocolate bars
I don't mean to pick on the Busey
under siege legend
I know I just watched Lethal Weapon
again the other day
Mr. Joshua
Mr. Joshua come on. Joshua, come on.
Is that your favorite?
Who do you think?
What duo?
You guys are a duo.
We're a duo.
Which duos do you think had the best on-screen chemistry?
I don't know that they did.
I don't know if Glover and Gibson.
You think they did?
I feel like they're real.
I've heard they're real-life friends.
Like, D. Glover would always stand up for Mel when he would say something insane or
do something crazy.
I liked them.
I liked them.
I mean,
you know,
Cheech and Chong.
Chris Tucker,
Jackie Chan.
Yeah.
They had good blooper reel.
I don't think that they were good friends.
I don't think so.
I don't think so.
One of them wanted to be friends and the other guy was like, no, I'm good.
I bet neither of them wanted to be friends with the other one.
Yeah.
I don't get that vibe, right?
Have you guys worked with duos or like teammates who didn't get along?
Like, you know, they say like Hall and Oates,
they can't be in like the same cab together or something.
Well, we did.
We did.
We went down the road of writing a movie for Cheech and Chong.
Oh, that's right.
And just a couple years ago,
maybe four or five years ago.
And you get them in the room
and they just,
I mean, it's sad
like you see behind the curtain
or whatever,
but they fight.
They fight, you know.
Do they fight about comedy
or do they fight about like life shit?
Well, we had a funny moment
and it was like,
we were trying to hash through this point, this plot point or whatever in the plot They fight about like life. Well, we had a funny moment. It was like, uh,
we were,
we were trying to hash through this,
this point,
this plot point or whatever in the plot,
trying to put a movie together for them.
And it just wasn't going anywhere.
And,
uh,
and so let me like stops that it was, we were in a,
in a,
in a agency or whatever,
in a management company at their conference table.
And we're all sitting around the conference table.
And then I was like,
you know what?
And there were,
and there were agents around.
Agents, reps, all these people.
And let me look at Cheech and Chong
and was like, you know what, guys? I think we can solve this
by just, let's just get high
together, smoke a joint together.
And in a heartbeat,
Cheech goes, not going to happen, bro.
Like, just shut him down.
And then
in an extra heartbeat,
uh,
Chong goes,
why not,
man?
Is she just,
dude,
they just went to head to head.
Uh,
you know,
we,
we actually did,
uh,
hang out with Cheech and get high with him at,
um,
the cannabis cup probably a couple months later after that.
And it was fine. Although he took a dab for the first time and he went down.
And, you know, I think that was a situation where it was like literally everybody's reps.
I've never been in a writing room like that.
Like we were there to meet and greet with each other and started to talk about the plot.
And there were suits standing around.
They were on the edge of the room.
Like we were in a fishbowl.
And she was like, let's just talk business.
He was just kind of, you know.
But it was funny because Chong immediately went to,
why not, man?
Come on.
And then you could see that they started butting heads a little bit.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Is there some things you guys have learned or done to sort of maintain the
sanctity of the squad?
Throughout your careers?
You know,
I've learned more from TV writing with Kevin than I have,
I think writing the movies,
which is that like,
you know,
you can't get,
you're going to,
when you collaborate,
you're going to have disagreements. And it's like, if you,
if you think of it as a fight that you have to win, nobody's going to win,
you know, cause all you're doing is creating bad blood.
And like with a TV show now, I mean,
Kevin and I are filming essentially like three plus movies worth of material
per season. And so we kind of don't have the time to disagree and
we're also like we're just if we're writing and then we're shooting and then we're editing that's
a lot of moments to disagree and so like kind of retroactively what i what i realize is that like
you know like i don't like to argue i don't like to have creative arguments and so many arguments
we had in broken lizard were were like, you know,
you just want to win.
You lose sight of what the actual joke is.
And you just like, I just want to win my point.
And that's not healthy.
And so I think from TV what I've learned is like,
you just have to assess how strongly you feel about it.
And if you don't feel that strongly about it,
plus you're going to write another day and shoot another day.
You'll get him on the next one.
Yeah.
We also had a few rules, though.
We had a few broken lizard rules.
Like, we had a pretty strong rule about nobody ever taking credit, like, individual credit for a joke.
Like, people would always ask that question, you know, like, hey, who wrote that one or who wrote that one?
And once you start getting into that world, then it becomes a problem.
So, like, we always had kind of a pretty hard and fast rule of we all wrote it.
We all did it together.
We all, you know, and that was something we kind of stuck to,
which I think it's a little healthier than giving up credit.
Do you guys have moments where you just like look at each other and you're
like, oh, my God, like I can't believe we're at this point together right now.
We've had it a lot during this TV stuff, you know.
It's like, to be honest with you, I mean, we've made movies for years,
but movies are a difficult thing.
You know, like you make a movie once every three, four years.
And, you know, we always wanted to have the fun
of trying a TV show.
And so now having this TV show,
there are just tons of times where we stop
and we're like, this is a blast, man.
Like, I'm psyched that we are doing this
and that we've gotten to the point that we can do this.
And we say that to each other all the time
when we're making the show. Well, then it goes back to the thing i'm talking
about which is that like when you write a movie script you got 90 pages essentially and so and
you're gonna get one crack at shooting it and then you're done and then you make the movie and that's
it and it's that's it for you know three or four years with the tv show you know this last season
we did 13 episodes and so it's like there's so many stories to tell and you're just,
and that's what's so great about it. It's like each week you're like,
you're just telling a new funny story. It's just new jokes.
And then when you're shooting it, you're like, Oh, we're telling,
we're doing this this week and we're doing this this week.
And so it's like, and then nothing has to be too precious. You know,
nothing has to be precious. Yeah. But I don't say it like this, you know,
whatever it is. Yeah.
Making more stuff always seems like a good solution because then it's like yeah you don't
ever get to you don't care too much about that and then you also realize that a lot of the times
when you think you're right you're wrong and yeah a lot of times you think you're right you're right
but and then the other guy knows that a lot of times when they think they're right they're wrong
and a lot of times they're right they're right so it's like you get it you know it's hit or miss comedy is just about trying shit and
uh you know and if it works that's great and if it doesn't yeah it's interesting how sometimes
if you think you this goes like stand-up or like making stuff it's like if you think you killed it
usually you didn't kill you know or if you think you did poorly usually you think you killed it, usually you didn't kill it. You know, or if you think you did poorly, usually you think you did,
usually you do a lot better than you thought.
I mean, it's that sort of reverse,
that reversal seems to happen almost all the time.
Yeah, no, no, no doubt.
And I think that it's, you know, for me anyway,
it's been shooting this TV show and, you know,
answering your question, JT, about like, you know, being where we were,
or, you know, did we, you know, look at each other and say like,
holy shit, I can't believe we've made it here.
You know, I, now I do it.
I actually think that like,
I feel like I'm at the highest point I've ever been in my career, you know,
and like that everything we've done up to this point has led to this point.
And now it's like, I mean, you know,
I've had a blast making the super troopers movies,
but now I'm having a blast, you know, it's like, I've got,
I've got kids and I'm making a TV show five minutes from my house,
which is not a joke. And it's like, you know, and it's, and it's,
it's awesome. We get to write it. We do, we direct it. We, you know,
we act in it and it's like, that's what we say to write it. We direct it. We act in it.
And it's like –
At the same time, that's what we say to other people.
It's like you get to remember all those steps.
We can sit here and say how much fun we had being Club Dread
and Super Troopers and Beer Fest and try to impart that to people.
Live in the moment of it.
You know what I mean?
We don't get these opportunities.
You guys are successful guys, and it's hard to get there there and people don't get that opportunity. And so the idea is
embrace it when you're there, you know what I mean? Yeah. I've learned that a lot during the
quarantine. Cause like we had some things we were working on that got put on pause and it's just,
but it was a nice time to sort of reflect and, and not look for the end result so much and just enjoy the process so
it's been an you know i've learned to sort of uh get a little bit more present during all this
for sure yeah yeah no i mean it by the way it takes it takes time to get there yeah you know
you don't always you know i remember we made our first movie puddle cruiser i think we were like 25 26
years old and i remember we rapped and jay and i looked at each other and jay goes can you imagine
if it's four more years before you got to make another movie and then we were like and we laughed
about it and sure enough it was five years before we made super troopers you know and it's like and
that's just the way it is like there's you know what was that like when you made super because
that was a game changer, right?
Like that was like a big leap into just like the public consciousness.
It kind of was, but it was a slow burn, you know, because it wasn't, you know, we made it.
We made it independently.
We sold it at the Sundance Film Festival and then they put it in the theaters.
But it wasn't, it was, it did fine, but it wasn't successful until it really hit DVD.
Right.
Second Life. Right. Yeah. So it was a DVD movie and it was the one that people passed around to each
other they watched in the dorm rooms or whatever it was so it really took like a couple years
after that for it to really hit so it was kind of a weird slow burn thing
like oh fuck like it's all different yeah it was like We had those moments that we thought it was going to be.
Like when we sold it at Sundance, we were like, yeah, we did it.
You know, but you know, it didn't really happen.
I mean, certainly not for us.
It didn't happen that way.
It was a slow process, you know.
But that was like the defining comedy film for a huge chunk of my, like, development.
But do you, I mean, do you know a lot a lot of people like it's not a lot of people
who went and saw in the theater you know what i'm saying no no but you know everyone if i wasn't on
the football team but i was friends with other guys because i'm a little bit of a jersey chaser
and all the football guys they all watched it during like two days and everybody was like
dude like and i think like every football team across America probably did.
Yeah.
I mean, we watched it.
Yeah, and that's what happens.
It's like little things happen.
It's like all of a sudden an athlete will be being interviewed,
and they'll throw a few meows into something,
and then somebody would send us a clip.
But we've had strange luck. know it's like i remember when netflix first started 60 minutes did a a piece on them and they were down in the like this is
back when they were just doing dvds and they were down in like their warehouse or something
and the ceo was being interviewed by leslie stall and she said do you know what all these movies are
and he was like yes i know every single one of them she said okay let's i'm gonna pull one out
at random and let's see if you know what it is he said okay and she pulled one off the shelf and she
said okay puddle cruiser and it was our first movie and uh he said okay that's a movie made
by these guys uh from the broken lizard comedy group they're a sketch comedy group they made
movie a college movie called puddle cru. And our phones started ringing off the hook.
And it's like,
that's just,
how do you,
that's just dumb luck.
That's crazy.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Well,
was it weird to sort of,
when you started to really feel it kind of like,
you know, spreading into the,
the,
the zeitgeist more and more,
like you just random people,
you know, or celebrities would mention it and stuff like you just random people you know or celebrities would
mention it and stuff like that did you have yeah and the thing was people would quote like you know
or people would walk up to the street and say hey say chicken fucker or whatever say a you know quote
from the movie yeah and that got you started thinking oh okay so it's making an impact you
know people were hearing about it so yeah and then it was like we heard that like somebody was like open this month's rolling stone magazine to page 83 and you open it up and like
justin timberlake it was like you know celebrity pics and it was him and then the super troopers
poster he's like this is what we watch on the tour bus it's so stupid we love it you know and
it's like you're like holy shit this is crazy yeah that's theT. Yeah, that's the other JT.
Yeah, I thought you were talking to me for a second.
Oh, man, the other one.
Yeah, he's a beast, that guy.
The lesser one. I saw his Man of the Woods tour.
My mom got me tickets for it for my birthday.
Did you have a special connection with him because of the JT thing or what?
You know, I wish it was actually more deep than it is.
I do like him a lot, and I think it's become kind of cool for people not to like him.
Like when he did his Super Bowl performance, a lot of my friends like oh he's so
lame now and stuff and all i saw was like cool professionalism so i'm kind of still in the pocket
for him but i do think he needs to put on another album of bangers have you listened to the troll
the trolls soundtrack that song can't fight this feeling but i've been going to a lot of weddings
so i'm like i might be i know that i was going to too many weddings when i was like i don't think i can dance to can't fight
this feeling again yeah but i mean that's the definition of a banger hit right there i mean
for sure for sure you got to get up and he just tossed that one off like for to a kid's movie
yeah i think i think that's actually better for him because i think when he does an album he's
putting too much pressure on himself to be like Prince or something.
But when he just does it for someone else, it's just pure flow.
I have faith in Timberlake.
He's going to come back.
Let's go.
He's talented.
He's funny.
He's a good actor.
And he's a nice guy.
Have you met him?
I have met him. I met him in – it was it was, uh, it might've been my bachelor party in, uh,
Las Vegas and, uh, queen, do you remember this? Or maybe,
maybe it was a different time in Las Vegas,
but he was at the next table over with a big party of people. And I,
and I went over to him and cause I knew, I knew he was a fan and I,
I said, Hey, Justin, what's up? And he was a fan and i i said hey justin what's up and he
looked up at me i said hey steve uh from broken lizard i was in super troopers he's like oh man
he got up and stood up and it was like i was dealing with a lot of scornful looks from the
people in his party but we probably chatted for a good five to ten minutes and he could not have
been nicer could not have been awesome yeah that's awesome that makes me want to do a running segment on the pod where we're like have you met justin timberlake and was it a good
experience i give it a 10 that's awesome do you guys want to answer some listeners questions
before we let you guys go yeah help them with like everyday issues they're dealing with
yeah you give yourself help it basically yeah it's young young horny bros pretty much they're dealing with. Yeah. You give them self-help?
Basically, yeah.
It's young horny bros, pretty much.
We're kind of diversifying.
People in their 20s, 30s.
Old horny bros.
Yeah, some female listeners, too.
Women.
Yeah.
Yeah, horny is sort of the... I see. It's the horny umbrella. Who isn't horny is sort of a nice thing okay it's the horny umbrella
who isn't horny good question i've had days where i'm not horny and it freaks me out i'm like what's
going on here is it the jt jt told me he wasn't as horny lately and it freaked me out i'm like
you're horny all the time dude is it the pandemic, dude. Is it the pandemic? Is that why? Is that what it is?
No, because at first the pandemic drove my horniness through the roof.
Like that's how I was processing everything.
I was like, just turn it into horniness.
And then, but then I've had some weeks where it was completely dissipated, where I had
no sexual urges in any which direction, not even if I was thinking weird things.
And it made me a little bit concerned that maybe the juice was gone forever.
I was,
I had some kind of new part of my life where I just have to accept myself as a
non-sexual creature,
but it always comes around like the rock.
Yeah.
Like the rock dude,
the rock.
That's why I don't trust him.
He's not horny enough.
If you could trade places,
you would,
you would with the rock.
Yeah,
dude.
I honestly,
I think I should say yes, but I don't know if I would. Come on. The biggest movie star in the rock. Yeah, dude. I honestly,
I think I should say yes, but I don't know if I would come on the biggest movie star in the world,
but I think I'd rather trade places with like,
um,
that's not the question.
I didn't get that.
I didn't give you that.
I didn't give you that.
That's true.
That's true.
Would I trade places?
You're right.
I would be the rock.
And then I would,
I would take different roles.
I'd play like a heroin addict,
like prostitute.
Yeah.
But I would definitely not pick Timothy Chalamet over the rock. Wait, would i would take different roles i'd play like a heroin addict like prostitute yeah but i would definitely not pick timothy chalamet over the rock yeah wait did you
say was that you didn't say he said that's what he just said you want to be timothy chalamet
maybe i fucked up dudes i don't know who would you rather be the rock or timberlake
the rock timberlake okay hard that's tough you, Kev? I don't know.
You're laughing at that like that indicates a lot about our personalities.
I mean, I think Timberlake.
Yeah, you're laughing.
Okay.
Chad said it like he purred it out that he was like, Timberlake.
Did I purr?
And by the way, Chad, I did hear you say good quest before,
which I like because I say good quest also.
I go quest.
I go quest.
Quest.
I like that.
Quest.
Maybe that's an East Coast, West Coast.
It could be.
It could be.
You had the T.
Quest.
Quest.
Are there no questions?
No questions for you.
I got one right here.
No questions.
It's incredibly on the money with what we've been talking about.
What's up, Stokemeisters?
Sometimes they can be a little long, guys, so bear with us.
I, like many of my fellow men, have been insatiably horny
throughout the past few months of the Q team
and have been unable to go out and shoot my shot
at a potential GF and life partner.
I recently connected with an absolute dime and a half,
and I knew pre-teen over Instagram,
and we both admitted to wanting to jump each other's bones.
The problem is that I'm here in Austin, Texas,
and she flew to D.C. to take refuge with family.
My question is, how do I continue to stoke the fires of love
without letting them fizzle out to embers
until we're able to meet up in person when she comes back in a month?
I'm not huge on texting, and I'm going to try wooing her over facetime any drinking game suggestions are
appreciated this last is a real catch and i don't want to miss out on the opportunity of a forever
friend in her because of an endless vortex of mundane text threads thanks in advance for the
vice loving the pod stay stay safely stoked love johnny biscuits johnny biscuits johnny best i would
say road trip i mean what's the
problem with road tripping i mean can't you you get in the car you drive out there right
from austin to dc how far is that how far could that be i think because she's with her
they might he can't bring the potential rona into her household because it can't actually
and you can't bring the rona or the bone yeah the rona or the bona yeah if you bring the Rona or the Bona. Yeah. The Rona or the Bona? Yeah. If you bring the Rona via the Bona and you kill Daddy-O and Mama.
Mama Yona?
What about the Zoom action?
No, I can't do that.
There's got to be a lot of Zoom sex going on, isn't there?
These days?
Yeah.
No?
Yeah.
You guys?
Could turn Zoom into the drill factory.
But how do you guys do it? I mean, how are you doing it? I have,
I've had zoom sex.
So, and what does that look like?
Like you smear it on the computer screen.
Like what doesn't look dissimilar to this and the setup, but don't worry.
I can disassociate. Um, okay. And you're just beat.
You're beat off in front of her. Well, so I don't, I don't,
I don't show my penis the whole time.
It's kind of like the shark in Jaws.
You just flash to it once every couple minutes to let people know it's lurking.
It has more power if you only show it once in a while.
Wait, so like you'll swim it by like that every now and then?
I'll just poke through the bottom.
No, I'll probably be like up here, and then I'll just hit a quick –
whoa, I'll hit a quick flash down like that,
and then that's just hit a quick, well, I'll hit a quick flash down like that.
And then if that's too much information, but that's my de facto technique.
So can't Johnny Biscuits do that or is that not?
What do you think?
Yeah, he's comfortable and she's comfortable with it.
I'll see why not.
Yeah.
But I also don't think he should think that the text threads are so boring.
Like you don't have to blow her hair back every time you guys talk.
Just, you know, if you keep up a constant line of communication,
you check in every once in a while just to say what up and, you know, chat about the new Taylor Swift album or whatever.
Sure.
You just got to keep the ball in the air.
And then if time is right, you'll know.
And then you'll say what up.
Yeah.
I think, you know, I think text is not the way to go.
I think he should call her up and have phone conversations with her,
whether it's FaceTime.
What about old-fashioned letters?
What about handwritten letters delivered by a postman?
Does anyone do that?
I think it's a great idea, Kev.
I think it's a great idea. I worry that
the youth of today
doesn't have the attention span for that.
Oh, come on. It's nice to get a letter.
It'd be a risk for sure, but I think
it'd pay off. Why?
Why a risk?
Just because I think the youth might think it's kind of weird.
Yeah, I see. Okay.
Because it's abnormal.
Yeah, but if he wants to stand out, you know.
Sure.
He could write her a poem or make her a painting.
But I think just,
I,
you know,
I think is just get to know her without any pretense and just say,
I want to get to know you.
Like,
there's a great time to get to know people.
That's the silver lining of this thing is that you get to reconnect with
people who you haven't maybe seen in a while.
And you can have conversations with people that you wouldn't normally have
conversations with.
It's also like,
not like she's out. Like, it's like in a race like a nascar race where you
what's the flag date who's watching uh days of thunder recently what do you guess if you the
yellow flag what is it where you can't pass the other cars right the yellow flag right i think
it's yellow that's isn't that what we're in right now we're in the yellow flag stage like she can't
go out with anybody else so you know you know what this let's let's
hope that this chick is into race cars because if that's the case then you just came up with a great
metaphor for the q teen and him he could say honey we're just this is like the yellow flag period of
the race yeah no one's gonna pass anybody else out yeah and then send her the scene with tom
cruise and nicole kidman and be like this is gonna be you
and me on the motorcycle that's right once we're vaccinated we're gonna be cruising sure
and it's kind of hot to be waiting for one another and to have this you know huge thing in the way
like you're like oh man i just you know he said that they'd already said that they wanted to jump
each other's bones so i don't i don't think it's you know uh crossing the line to reiterate that
and be like hey like i really want you and i'm pissed off that this pandemic is keeping us apart
but when it's over sure we just think when it's over it's going to be explosive yeah exactly yeah
and then you got the expectations are too high and then you pull up and you're like oh no like
we've built this up for months is it going to live up to it or we just need two goofy humans
making mistakes you're expecting days of thunder yeah exactly i gotta tell you the truth i got boner problems this is
i don't know if this is gonna work out yeah i need a lot of intimacy and build up yeah but
that conversation can be great too yeah yeah i i do like the idea of calling on the phone and
not maybe not texting all the time so you're not available all the time but then those you know
phone calls you know maybe once every two three days i think they'll keep the passion high oh yeah
i don't know for sure it's it's romantic hearing their voice as you go to sleep the lights are off
in bed and you're just like you know maybe you've got them on speakerphone or not your eyes are
closed and you're just sitting there with a mega boner going you know like talking to this girl those are beautiful times yeah and just
drill yourself oh look at this my son's here i think what's up buddy
oh tomorrow here's my kid over here.
He broke his arm on July 4th.
Oh, no, dude.
Were you getting after it?
What?
Theo, how did you break your arm?
I just don't want to.
You don't want to tell?
Were you getting after it?
Hey, dude, it's your biz, bro.
I understand.
Hey, whatever happens, man.
Right?
You don't have to tell. did it on july 4th
a bummer oh man density in 10 cities i can feel it yeah he was getting he was getting
there was something cool about having a cast you know when you're a kid though you kind of
give people your friends to sign it and shit yeah Yeah. Do you want people to sign your cast, buddy?
But here we are again.
We're in a pandemic, so who's going to sign your cast?
Right.
What do you have in your hand?
Look at this.
He's got guitar picks in his hand.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, these are guitar picks.
Do we have any guitars?
We do have a guitar.
Yeah, these are guitar picks.
Do we have any guitars?
We do have a guitar.
Behind the chair over there is a nice guitar in a case.
Oh, can I use one of these picks?
Yeah, you can use that pick.
That's all right.
Oh, that was nice.
Yeah.
That's a little family pick from all the boner talk. By the way, that's all right. Oh, that was nice. Yeah. That's a little family from all the boner talk.
By the way, that's what happens.
It's kind of wholesome real quick.
It's part of life.
It's a cycle of life, guys.
You get a boner and then you get a kid like that.
That's exactly what happens.
There's an allegory in there.
It really is.
It is an allegory.
All right. We got another question question this one's a little long
guys uh urgent inner squad beef what up to the stoke lord's impossible guests these are dire
times for the squad we are a crew of 10 that's rolled together since freshman year now going
into our senior year of university the beef concerns two guys in the squad cody and james
names altered neither is a schmoll uh schmole is a guy in the friend group
that no one really likes, but you can't get rid of because he's pretty much well-intentioned.
Here's the sitch based on facts from James's perspective. Cody and James went, this is going
to get a little complicated. Cody and James went to the beach July 9th to the 15th. They have been
best friends since high school and roommates their first and second year of uni. All was going well
three days into the trip. On the night of the 12th, Cody got heated at a bartender
and caused a commotion in the restaurant.
Another patron asked him to calm down.
He turned his anger onto that family.
He was then removed from the premises.
The original cause of Cody's anger is unknown,
as James was back at the house getting his wallet and ID.
Back at the house, James was upset by Cody's unshow behavior, but Cody got in his
face about it. They ended up fist fighting
with James eventually subduing
Cody.
And Cody was the one who was
upset at the bar, just to rehash that.
Cody immediately called his girlfriend who lived
an hour away to pick him up. His parting words
to James were, I never want to see you again.
The level of alcohol consumed
did not seem enough to
be a factor. Well, it probably was a factor. I have been in contact with Cody. He has not mentioned
the incident or beef and has been friendly with me per usual, but he has gone as far to block James
on Instagram. The beef remains unsquashed two weeks later and is causing tension in the group chat
as they aren't on speaking terms. We're hoping it will be resolved by the time we return to school, but it's not looking good.
COVID has left us physically scattered, so no meetups to build stoke or discuss in person.
Naturally, squad stoke is way down. How should we go about resolving this beef and fix the squad
chi? Please let us know how to proceed in these uncharted waters. Thanks to stoker and squad in
need. Well, Cody's wrong and needs to own up to what he's done.
And I guess the question is how do the other guys help, help that happen?
Right.
What do you think the breakdown is of the squad?
Like in terms of who's on each guy's side, you think, I mean,
it seems like one guy's right. One guy's wrong, right?
Yeah. I think everyone's probably on James's side. I mean,
it seems like Cody was at every turn just wrong.
And even the way he described how James beat him in the fight,
he said he subdued him.
So that means James took no real pleasure in kicking his ass.
It feels like he just did what was necessary to contain the situation.
Yeah, well, I think Cody's closest friend,
they need to identify who's closest to Cody in that group,
and that guy needs to talk to Cody.
And it sounds like that was normally James.
And I guess James for the first time told Cody,
I'm not okay with your outrageous behavior.
And now Cody feels betrayed.
Hmm.
Okay.
Well then the second closest to Cody needs to tell him,
but it doesn't matter.
Cause when are they going back at school again?
I'm going to be back at school for months.
Like they'll,
by attending back to school,
it's going to forget what happened.
That's the COVID of it.
Did they say that
this has been a repetitive thing with Cody?
What's that? No, that wasn't mentioned.
Are you excited to tell your story? I'm going to.
I'm going to. All right, boys.
I promised my kids
a story. I'm going to tell them a story about
their way into Transformers 2,
and I make up stories for them every night and oh nice when last uh we spoke um optimus prime
and world war ii bumblebee and then a transformer that we made up called firebird were off to battle
unicron and it just can't wait oh no, no problem. Thank you so much.
Wait, just finish your Cody thing, though.
Let me tell Cody what to do, for God's sakes.
Cody.
Well, somebody's got to talk to Cody.
Yeah, because Cody clearly is in the wrong,
and the group of friends, if they want their crew to be back in one piece and not fragmented.
They have to let Cody know that he has some reckoning to do.
And whether he's got an alcohol problem and that needs to be addressed or whether it's just an apology that needs to be made and he was wrong,
somebody needs to tell him he's wrong.
And if the fear is that they're going to lose him
because he's just going to fly off the handle again, then so be it.
He's not worth it, man.
Yeah, because he sounds to me
like a bit of a problem.
Yeah, like him going
after the family at the restaurant, you're like,
Jesus. Yeah.
That's a little bit extra.
I had a friend like that ass clown who
got his whole
hotel room kicked
out of Cabo within an hour for streaking in the lobby bar
but he owned up to it you know okay but that's not violent at least that's just no no yeah he
asked all he's like you guys want to go like whip your dongs out and we're like nah dude
and then they all got kicked out because of it so like that's he owned up to it. I think there's a, you know, like I whipped out my dong
to defend
Heffernan's mother.
What?
He knows. The story is
like we were promoting Super Troopers
and
way back in the day and we went to
they brought us to, I think, the House of Blues.
I think it was the Hard Rock Cafe
in Boston. Hard Rock Cafe. Oh no, House of Blues, whatever. House of Blues. And we were supposed they brought us to i think the house of blues i think it was the hard rock cafe in uh in boston
hard rock cafe and oh no house of blues whatever house of blues and and uh we were supposed to go
up there the movie hadn't come out yet so we were going to go up on stage and say hey we're in a
movie called superjews blah blah check it out february whatever it comes out and now you know
put your hands together for you know for the scott Scottish foreheads. And, you know, here we go. And so we got to the place and the bouncer carded Heffernan's mom. And she's like, at that point,
In her 60s.
She was in her 60s. And she didn't have her driver's license on her. She wasn't driving.
And she was like, I'm 62 years old. And the bouncer's like, you have a policy, no ID, no entrance.
And we're like, hold on a second.
We're here to do this thing.
And the bouncer was just giving her a hard fucking time and wouldn't let her to the point where our tour manager came and got into an altercation with the guy.
but we you know decided we were going to go up on stage and introduce the band and uh pull our pants down and whip out our dicks which is exactly what we did uh that's totally acceptable in my
book if you get if you pull out your dick at a family and then uh yell at somebody and then
yell at your friend and don't at least apologize uh for doing those things then you know but i went
up there with the uh being motivated by my friends yeah go do it let me go oh yeah i was i was whip
your dick up bro do it you know the guy who was most upset about it was my father who was also
there yeah and it was his wife who was offended uh and he was the one who thought that you guys
crossed the line in fact he said it was a low point i was embarrassed to say this earlier the night that we met at that pizza
place when you guys left i got thrown out for getting naked in the center of the place and
rubbing pizza on my body oh well you know again also from a good place it wasn't yeah
about you bringing that up.
It really is.
Yeah.
We've been on the same page this whole time.
We're brothers in the dawn.
We had Hurricane Streets too, bro.
Honestly, before you go, I'd love to get beers with you guys sometime.
Yeah, I was going to say I would love to chug with you guys sometime.
Yeah.
That would be awesome.
We should do it.
Yeah.
But I guess we could chug over over zoom
yeah oh that's true that's it when do you think we'll be chugging again like when's that gonna
happen i'm gonna chug tonight but i like to hang out with these guys and chug with them
i mean we could uh can we do an outdoor chug i don't know whenever y'all are comfortable we
could do an outdoor chug and we could wear masks. Whenever you all are comfortable. We could do an outdoor chug.
We could wear masks.
Mask chugs?
Honestly, if you guys want to wait,
I think that's super respectable.
I appreciate you guys.
I'll chug whenever you want.
Maybe I'll order a boot.
I'll get a boot.
I'll chug a boot with you guys.
That's not that easy.
I haven't tried
it's all about the bubble
you gotta watch out for that
the twist
we learned that the hard way
I lost a lot of money because I didn't know about the bubble
really?
yeah that's a whole other story
well thank you guys for
thanks for coming on
and being so kind to uh me kind of uh being
late and everything yeah no i had a good it started things off in a good conflict way
the colombian guy versus the argentinian yeah jt you're the villain but here's the thing i'm always
the guy that's late too i'm the guy that's yeah so we're you know they're the these guys on this
side of the screen
are the worker bees
and you and I are the slacker bees.
That's okay.
Right on, dude.
I'm in good company.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, well, thanks, guys.
All right, boys, guys.
Oh, sorry.
Thanks for having us.
Appreciate it, man.
Yeah.
Great talking to you.
That was cool.
Yeah, it was pretty crazy talking to them.
Yeah.
My lord.
Aaron, do you want to hop in for this?
Sure.
Dude, a thousand comments on the new vid. Really? Yeah yeah i just turned my phone back on that's not there's a lot there's a lot of debate about the efficacy of masks
sure they're all a bunch of scientists
chiropractors yeah I don't think he wanted his old lady to throw yeah people have really fixated on that they're taking down the whole discipline
of chiropractor someone wrote this the low IQ the lowq of people not understanding the troll is hilarious
and someone wrote they have to be trolling right i mean those little face shield they
use for the podcast are so ridiculously useless and silly no i'm 100 serious
i mean i know i'm silly and ridiculous but i mean it completely
yeah so i'm not in on anything yeah Aaron, I got my first death threat today.
What?
Yeah.
I had a photo with my girlfriend's dog
and the guy's like, I'm going to run over the dog
and you.
I mean, was it a bad photo?
No.
What on earth?
Yeah, not chill.
Dude.
I blocked him. Yeah, good, not chill. Dude. I blocked him.
Yeah, good.
Not chill at all.
It's a dog.
But I looked at his profile, and it was just bongs.
Oh, gee.
Well.
He's like, these are me and my bro's bongs.
He needs to smoke those bongs more
seriously
yeah
all his photos were like
were like so
he's like yeah just chill
and have a good time by the beach
smoking bongs
people need to hit this one
and I'm like
that's an interesting contrast.
Yeah.
Chad,
I'm sorry you got a death threat, dog,
but I'm pumped you're still alive.
Dang.
That being said.
I was honored by the death threat.
That being said,
what is your beef of the week?
My beef of the week is the overcast we've had recently
dude what's going on with this morning overcast you know we're deep into july
heading straight into august and i'm pissed you know i want to wake up every morning
with the sun shining through it's summertime summertime. Let me know, Apollo Earth.
It's really whack.
That's why we're in Southern California is to enjoy the sun,
not to get beaten down by clouds.
We're making a lot of progress in ai a lot of progress in you know
all types of stuff but it's like we're still having overcast mornings in southern california
it's like you know elon i know you want to build a tunnel but why don't you get rid of those clouds
dude yeah straight up straight up because i would put him on crazy trajectory if he could fix clouds
straight up because i would put him on crazy trajectory if he could fix clouds yeah overcast mornings if he's like hey i'm starting this company no marine layer which is
where you don't have marine layer i'm like i would invest heavily into that all you know 200
dollars that i have and give a big what up. That's fat. Yeah.
Aaron, what's your beef of the week?
My beef of the week is fascism.
Sorry.
It's a good fucking beef, bro. Yeah, like overcast to fascism.
You know, overcast is like the fascism of clouds.
Yeah. for real.
Because you kind of don't know where it starts and ends
or how to quite get rid of it.
But yeah, I mean, I'm just seeing all this stuff from Portland
and just seeing the guy that Trump hired to run
the Department of Homeland Security who's not confirmed by the Senate,
he's just kind of interim sending troops to U.S. cities to arrest people.
It's just, it's no good.
And it's fine if you're against people destroying federal property.
against people destroying federal property.
I will say there hasn't been looting of stores since day two of any protest.
People get over that pretty quick.
Places get boarded up.
But I don't know.
These are federal buildings.
Who gives a shit?
When has a courthouse ever looked cool?
What are you defending?
Like, what about defending people, humans?
They're not killing cops up in Portland.
And you're hitting moms in the face with rubber bullets.
It's fucking insane.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean there's great people
getting out there. There's a wall
of moms and there's veterans who
are showing up and
creating walls around all the
other protesters.
I just saw this great video of a speech today
and it's just like... And I also saw a photo series a friend posted from Portland during the protesters. I just saw this great video of a speech today. And it's just like,
and I also saw like a photo series,
a friend posted from Portland during the day.
And it's like,
this is not a flaming shithole. This is a beautiful city that has been beautiful.
Still is,
has beautiful architecture,
statues,
amazing donuts,
as we all know um it's it's not some place that's just gone
off the rails so why are you sending jackboots into it it doesn't make any sense yeah um well
my beef of the week is was a specific incident when I drove through
my parking garage gate
but it is my overall lack of awareness
and that kind of ties into
what you're talking about because I really haven't been
keeping myself as informed as I should be
and it's just because I've been like
kind of spaced out and kind of stoked
which is a good thing
yeah you need a break
I don't even mean like that
i just mean like it's great to be stoked but like sometimes there can be externalities to that stoke
like you can end up being so stoked that you you do some bonehead things and i'm grateful mine was
a you know didn't have like any human kind of cost besides like you know me having to fork over some
cash to my landlord to fix the gate.
But I was just like chilling, waiting for him to move his car,
looking at my phone, listening to Taylor Swift album.
And then I just didn't even think because the gate opened and then it started to close again because those things are on like a timer.
Didn't even think about how it was going to close again.
And then just drove and just plow, popped this thing right off its axis.
And then just, you know,
I've been in enough bad driving moments
to know how to handle it,
where you just go, look, I fucked up
and I'm a fucking idiot.
And I am really, really sorry that I,
you know, happened to you.
And yeah, I just gotta be, I gotta stay stoked,
but you gotta stay aware too.
And actually, you know, the stoicism that Chad's been extolling,
I've picked up on it.
I've been reading some of it and like, that's a big part of it.
You know what I mean?
It's like, is to be stoked or stoic or stoked, but also to, you know,
stay abreast with what's around you.
So trying to strike that balance.
Chad, who's your babe of the week?
trying to strike that balance um chad who's your babe of the week uh my babe of the week is uh my mom what up mom i mean she's my babe of the week every week i love you mom
uh you know i've been calling her pretty much every day during the q-team uh just checking in
and uh we just we had the greatest conversation she just
brightens my day every time and uh she's the best and and i um you know i partied this weekend i
didn't go too hard but i like i woke up and i was like i was like i need to focus a little bit you
know i i need i need to get some mental clarity back like yeah just waking up hung over
in the q-team you know when you're alone in your apartment it's just not good and then i just fall
off my game for you know a day or two or maybe three or four um and so i made i hit up my mom
and i was like mom you know need, I need to take a break
from the booze, maybe for like the month of August. But, you know, it's, it's hard, you know,
when the weekend rolls around, like, you know, fresh cord light or bud light, you know, I'm not
going to take sides right now. It just looks so delicious. It looks like it's going to boost my
stoke more than anything. And I know it's not, you know, I know it's going to boost my stoke more than anything and i know it's not you know i know it's gonna boost
my stoke in the moment but then i'm gonna wake up alone in my apartment and i'm gonna have trouble
enjoying days of thunder which i didn't but you know that's that's what i worry about like if i
booze too hard will i stop enjoying days of thunder well i will the you know those love
scenes between tom cruise and nicole kidman get me as fired up and so and you know i don't want to have the lack of mental
clarity not to appreciate that so i was like i need you to hold me accountable a little bit
and so she's like well i was gonna get you a a laptop for your birthday so I could just not get that for you if you drink this month.
I was like, deal.
That's why she's my babe.
Great deal, dude. Love that.
What have you reached out to her
for the booze, too? Smart move.
Yeah.
I try to be honest with my mom.
Gotta keep it real with your mama.
Aaron, who's your baby of the week the week well it's a little bit of a
somber babe because of the events of today but uh my baby of the week is baseball
uh it's yeah it started up uh on thursday um i actually watched a game an exhibition game Wednesday but it started up Thursday
and Friday and I watched all weekend
I watched hours
of games, I watched games I don't even care about
I watched so much Padres
baseball
it's not even funny
and it was wonderful
to be back at, it's weird with the crowd
noise being pumped in, I don't think that's necessary.
Just let it be quiet.
Let us hear.
I like that.
You can hear more of what people are saying for better or worse.
You know,
just keep your hand on that sensor button.
If guys go off,
but,
and then today there was a big,
there's a big outbreak on the Marlins.
And they may have gotten it from Atlanta.
They may have given it to the Phillies.
So now I'm just like, well, great.
I'm glad we started that up again.
As much as it might suck, this whole season could get shut down.
I didn't realize baseball wasn't doing a bubble.
And it makes sense why they can't,
because there are more teams playing and more players. But I didn't realize baseball and football wasn't doing a bubble. And it makes sense why they can't, because there are more teams playing and more players.
But I didn't realize baseball and football weren't doing a bubble.
It seems impossible to operate with as much travel and as many players as they have without a bubble.
Yeah, well, maybe they just shouldn't have done these exhibition games.
And I just think there's always a two- to three-week lag
on whether people have been exposed and whether they're showing symptoms and whether they're testing positive.
So you could have tested negative even today and you still have,
you could have it.
So it's just,
it's a bit of a mess.
And,
and the reason they're not doing the bubble is because the two places they were going to do were Arizona and Florida.
And those were spiking like crazy in May and June and probably still are.
So it's a bummer, but hopefully it can continue.
And if not, you know, I had a great weekend of watching baseball.
Felt good.
I think we should also do something for sports that since
we're going to be hearing the players uh more audibly now we can't get mad at them for anything
they say because they're not used to it they're not ready for it and i want to hear the candid
talk oh yeah here's some inappropriate stuff and i think we should have a moratorium on bashing
anyone for what they say in a sports related context if it happens on the court for at least
this season just so we can have
it, because I want to have it.
I know these execs
must be shaking in their boots because they know
people are going to say some
off-color shit, but I think we've got to
just let them do it,
and we'll just listen, and we'll
adjudicate it at a later date.
Yeah.
I definitely heard a lot of guys pop up and yell,
fuck.
Yeah,
no problem.
That's great.
Yeah.
My baby of the week is an athlete.
It's Lou Williams who is in trouble right now in the NBA because he took a
break from the NBA bubble to go home for family related business.
I think it was.
And a picture ended up getting posted of him by a rapper at a strip club.
And, you know, he was, he caught a lot of blowback for that.
Cause you know, he's putting other people at risk and that's not essential business,
no matter how horny you are.
And, and then the rapper tried to walk it back and say that he just posted that photo
cause he missed hanging out with Lou.
But Lou was wearing one of the masks that the NBA gave out to all the players at the quarantine bubble so
that the the uh the lie didn't really cut ice but I want to highlight Lou for other reasons
one time a guy tried to rob him at gunpoint and Lou ended up talking to him and getting the guy
to put his gun down and then took the guy to McDonald's to talk to him about his life. So you can see why he'd have an ego that would maybe get him into trouble.
Lou, rein it in.
Let's rein it in.
No more strip clubs.
Let's keep the bubble safe so we can get our NBA.
But I still love you, Lou.
You're my babe of the week.
Chad, who's your legend of the week?
My legend of the week is my mom's dog luna um we got some unfortunate news
last week that she has lymphoma um which i guess is common in gold retriever gold retrievers and
it's just uh it's a bummer i was i was sad i'm still sad about it i mean we don't know
how serious it is.
You know, I guess there's two different kinds, you know.
If it's the less serious kind, then I think she'll, you know, be able to,
I don't know, I don't want to get into numbers,
but she'll have a little more time.
But, yeah, it just makes me sad and uh yeah it's my mom's buddy
and she's such a beautiful dog like she's just like a perfect golden retriever flowing
you know for great bone structure always happy like says hi to everyone, just like the sweetest dog of all time. And it's just, uh,
yeah, life's not fair sometimes. Um, so yeah, just, uh, calling out to the Stokers,
pray for Luna that, that, you know, uh, it's, it's, it's not, you know, the too serious kind that she can, you know, live with it for a while and um yeah i love you luna and yeah
sorry dog that's yeah i did with dogs man it's like they're so pure you know it's like
why why why dogs i don't know. No, for sure.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.
Well, we'll all be thinking about Luna,
and I think she's going to have more time than maybe initially thought.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm staying optimistic.
She's going to be all right.
Yeah.
But I'm sorry, dog.
That's tough.
Oh, thank you. Yeah. aaron who's your legend of
the week my legend of the week uh is my gff my wife leah nice dude uh you guys have known for a
while but i can officially say it on the pod that uh we are having our first child yeah due in december let's
go oh christmas baby christmas baby yeah we're having a little girl dog you potent
well not not quite uh we've been trying for a little while and uh i needed a little science
uh we didn't have to go through IVF, thankfully,
but there's definitely male infertility
and things that don't get really talked about.
And I plan on writing this whole big thing about it.
So keep an eye out for that.
But yeah, we're super stoked.
We're having a little girl girl December 21st-ish.
So happy.
That's great.
You're going to make the holidays
ten times better.
You're going to be a fucking solid dad, dude.
I hope so.
Do you know the gender yet?
Girl.
Oh, nice.
That's awesome. Congrats. Thanks, guys. Yeah, yeah. Nice. That's awesome.
Congrats.
Yeah.
Thanks, guys.
She's going to be cool.
You guys will have crisp audio playing in her room, too,
when you guys are playing her like Mozart.
Are you going to do that?
Are you guys going to play Mozart for her in the belly or any of that stuff?
No, probably more like the Beatles or something.
Oh, right on.
What's some specialized
knowledge that you really want to teach her?
Like my brother wants to teach
my niece
Muay Thai.
Oh, dude, nice. Give her some dangerous elbows.
Yeah.
She's going to hit left-handed for sure.
Throw right, hit left.
I mean, that's important.
It's a prettier swing.
Yeah, yeah.
Griffey.
She'll be Griffey.
My legend of the week is this 12-year-old
that I momentarily befriended on Call of Duty.
When I get on the comms and I'm playing multiplayer, I'll just talk to who's ever on there.
Mostly it's people talking shit with names like, your mom is fat.
And they're like, what's up, bitch?
And I'll always be like, come on, dude.
You really going to just call me a bitch?
You don't even know me.
And then we'll mix it up a little bit.
And I'll kind of razz them.
And they'll kind of razz me.
But I'm always just hoping to you know leave them
a little bit happier than they came into the multiplayer and uh this kid's on there he's just
talking about like how he needs to get something fixed like his controller headsets busted and i
go who you talking to and he goes no one and then i go silent he goes what you're just gonna talk to
me and then you're gonna stop and i go hey i'm here i'm down to talk so then we just start talking
about our loadouts and he's like oh dude i got a shotgun with like a sniper on he's like let me drop it for you so you can use it and we didn't end up getting to
do that during the multiplayer so he's like hey dude i'm gonna add you as a friend and so we can
do this gun exchange but then i'm like i'm talking to a 12 year old on comms i'm like is this weird
like it's definitely weird and then so the game ends and the kid like i can feel he wants to like
keep running it a little bit.
Then I go, hey, dude, I got to hop off and play with my buddies.
I go, hey, I got to hop off and play with my friends.
Then he goes, well, I added you as a friend.
If you ever see me on here, we should play together because I don't really have many friends on here.
Then my fucking little heart broke, and I was like, oh, fuck, dude.
I was like, oh, fuck.
But then I had to be like, par, it's not your job to mentor this 12-year-old kid.
If you want to mentor someone, mentor your cousin Danny.
It will be appropriate.
I was like, you just got to let this kid go.
And I was like, oh, yeah, for sure, dude.
And then I just said later,
I'll probably never talk to him again.
But dude, if you're out there, little bro,
you are a legend.
You are going to find your crew on Call of Duty.
It's all good.
And just keep sniping, keep hitting dudes with that shotgun.
Yeah, that's my legend of the week.
Well, is he talking about not making friends on Call of Duty or in life?
He said on Call of Duty, but the way he took a beat before he said on Call of Duty,
it was one of those pauses that had a lot of pain in it.
Right.
Yeah.
I was like, this little fucker's suffering, dude.
And he needs a fucking squad.
Well, he'll probably end up being a CEO or something.
Let's go.
He'll use that pain to run the world.
And if you're 12 out there and you're listening to this podcast first,
good on you.
But then also, hey, if there's some nerd dick in your class
who just seems like he needs a hangout like once a month
to keep himself feeling upbeat, just invite him over
and just have fun with the kid for a day.
You only got to do it once a month
and just give the kid something to be excited about.
He'll probably surprise you.
Yeah, and they'll have some gifts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember I hung out with this dude.
What was his name?
I think it was Sam.
I hung out with this dude, Sam,
and I had never really hung out with him before.
And I was kind of like, oh, yeah, I don't really want to hang out.
But then I did.
And he had a pop-up tent, you know,
where there's tents where you just fucking throw it and it pops up.
Amazing.
I was like, I would have never experienced a pop-up tent
if I hadn't hung out with him.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Chad, who's your
what's your quote of the week
my quote of the week
comes from American Pie
Steve Stifler
he's trying to roast
the dudes
he's
I believe he's at a party
I can't remember the scene
exactly but
he's like
I'll see you guys tonight
in the
no fucking section right
burn exactly, but he's like, I'll see you guys tonight in the no fucking section, right?
Burn.
Shout out to Stifler, dude.
I remember my dad would watch that and he'd be like,
man, Stifler.
What a guy.
That's hilarious.
Aaron, what's your quote of the week? that's hilarious Aaron
what's your quote of the week
I'm trying to find a quote
well
I'm trying to find a quote from the movie
Nine Months which is a fire movie
about finding out you're going to be a dad
Julianne Moore one of the best
very good movie.
And Robin Williams.
And Jeff Goldblum's in it.
Goldblum's good.
Goldblum's good.
And Joe Cusack and Tom Arnold.
Yeah, that's right.
They're a couple.
I'm trying to find a quote.
It's tough.
They're all like dialogue heavy.
I guess it's just the one quote I found.
God, I feel like I know more in my head than what's listed on IMDb.
But Robin Williams delivers the baby.
He's super Russian in the movie.
And he says, you have a girl, unless I cut the wrong chord.
So that's a fun one.
That's great.
My chord of the week is a very powerful one.
I think it's one of the most powerful things I've ever read,
and I saw it again in Ryan Holiday's book, Stillness is the Key,
which is really just an instructive
book on how to live your life. It really is all it's cracked up to be. But it's this guy,
Brian Sweeney, who was a passenger on one of the planes that got hijacked on 9-11. And it's
what he called and said to his wife, the last thing he said to anyone before he died. And he said,
I want you to know that I died and he said i want you to
know that i absolutely love you i want you to do good have good times same with my parents i'll see
you when you get here wow yeah i want you to do good have good times same with my parents i'll
see you when you get here it's just i don't know it's like the perfect encapsulation of of how you'd like to be
in that moment you know what I mean just thinking about other people and wishing them well and like
nothing about him just completely about the people he cares about it's uh it's pretty remarkable
and it's so simple too. Yeah. Yeah. Beast.
Chad, what's your phrase of the week for getting after it?
What do you boys say we grind the radio?
Oh, my voice cracked.
Fuck.
Dude, I like it when your voice cracks. I always think it adds texture to stuff oh really yeah i can tell you don't like it though no no actually
that's nice to hear maybe maybe yeah i think it's good whenever i'm cycling through the edit and i
hear it i'm always like no it's got to stay it's wonderful yeah yeah i going to be 22 forever. Lucky you.
Yeah, I would be unhappy.
I'd be happy about that.
Yeah, so keep it as is.
I'm not going to redo it.
Oh, dude, nice, bro.
Keep it as is.
I'm not going to redo it.
That's a good phrase of the week for getting after it.
Yeah.
A lot of power in that.
Aaron, you got a phrase of the week for getting after it?
Yeah, in honor of our guest this week, let's go grow mustaches.
Yeah.
Nice.
My phrase of the week from getting after it is the tagline for the movie
Rockstar starring Mark Wahlberg.
I can recite this whole movie front to back.
My brother will tell you I used to watch it every night when it was on
Starz or whatever channel it was on. It's a extremely corny movie about mark walberg he plays a guy in
a cover band who ends up getting to be the lead singer of the band he covers steel dragon and then
he deals with like you know becoming a celebrity and all the pratfalls of that and then like
limitations of of you know being uh in a band and stuff like that and of his own artistic ability. It's wonderful. It's one of my favorite movies of all time.
And the tagline is so good.
The tagline is,
the story of a wannabe who got to be.
So that's my phrase I'll be forgetting after it.
You guys, check out the movie.
It's Mark Wahlberg ripped up and singing.
And I guess it's based on Judas Priest,
but I'm not super familiar with their lore,
so I can't speak to it.
Guys, all right.
Chad, you want to hit our ad?
Or we'll do that after, right?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, this is fun.
Shout out to Kevin and Steve.
They were legends.
Great guys.
Yeah, such nice guys.
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