Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 149 - Chad and JT

Episode Date: August 26, 2020

What up stokers?! On this episode Chad and JT discuss traditionalism in comedy, Malcolm Gladwell's article on faith, and stock tips. Enjoy the stoke.Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion.Get 200 dollars off all mattress orders and two free pillows at helix.com/godeep

Yeah, mama. Saddle me up, hit the whip, and let's go riding uh what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep challenge at podcast guys before we begin i'll remind you once again that we are brought to you by manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims puked for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean. Because when you hop out of the shower and you have to towel your dong a little bit more because your pubes are out of control, what do you say to yourself? Man, I wish I had manscaped my dink. So if you don't want to towel your pubes as much because they're like astroturf,

go to manscaped. use code go deep 20 for 20 off i'm here with my compadre john thomas what up boom clap stokers and uh i'm used to having guests so much i was like and uh right so what uh and aaron my dog big a ron what up what up dude uh how's it going? Good, dude. Yeah? Yeah, I'm chilling. Nice. Yeah. Your initial Manscaped talk, I felt like I was cruising.

Yeah. You really put up some imagery and put me in a car. Oh, thanks, dude. I was just whisking around the highway on it. Oh, dude. Yeah. That fires me up. Yeah, it felt a little bit more inspired.

I think being in the studio gets me a little bit more in touch with manscaped's ethos i feel that yeah yeah yeah it's swirling around the room it's in the walls here yeah if these walls could talk they would know a lot about trimming pubes absolutely absolutely sorry i love it there's this one line there's a song by sam hunt called body like a back road which is a good good good song title and uh one of the lines is doing 15 and a 30 like he's driving slower than he can oh interesting yeah he's going slow because he's enjoying the ride yeah it's all a metaphor for sex but like oh okay but still even just as driving that way would be fun yeah you never think about that everyone always wants to go faster yeah he. He's like, I'm doing 15 in a 30. Yeah.

I ain't in no hurry. Does he do a music video on that? Like everyone's behind him pissed off. He's singing. Yeah. I used to do that. Do you ever do that? You drive really slow on the road and just pile up cars behind you.

You used to do it? Yeah, I used to do it a lot. No, I've never done that. Dude, one time I did it so long, I literally put the emergencies on the car and got out of the car and just started telling people it was broken. Really? Yeah. That's hilarious. How long did he do that for?

I think probably like 10 minutes, 11 minutes. And what age? It was like 18, 17. Yeah. Interesting. And my brother would do it with me and he was a really good actor. Yeah. He did it great.

The car's broken face. Really? It's broke? brother would do it with me and he was a really good actor yeah he did it great the car's broken face really that's hilarious yeah it was fun um yeah wow i never really like thought of doing that yeah it's uh it's weird that i had an older cousin who did it but i think he did it because i asked him to okay yeah you know what i got it from my friend Ian I had an older friend Ian who used to do it yeah he was just like a prankster I think so to me it felt normalized what was the funniest reaction you got you know I don't even remember any

specifics from that one it would just be when people would drive by and just like the look of just horror they'd be like they couldn't believe what was going on in the world and you'd just be like yeah i really threw a monkey wrench into everything huh yeah yeah really fucked up his day yeah i remember one time uh i thought this was so hilarious when i did it uh i was with my buddy sean and we had a jamba juice cup and we peed inside of it we filled filled up with pee. And we put it in the road and this car hit it.

And it like exploded and then just like showered the car in pee. Right. And now I'm like, that was super uncool. Yeah. But at the time, it was like the funniest thing that's ever happened. Yeah, it's weird. That is really funny though. But like teenagers are monsters.

Yeah. I was picking up some food today at this Hawaiian fish place, Nalu's. Kids are walking in there barefoot, no mask, just walking in, like, hawking loogies. Yeah. You're just like, you're just like a trash. Yeah. You're trash, man. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, you just don't understand it. Like, it's hard for them to, like, understand, especially if you're like, you know, they're, you know, someone has probably had, probably had a long day at work. They want to get home. Right. They want to go make dinner, watch a game or something. And then a Jamba Juice cup full of piss just showers their car.

Yeah. There's nothing worse than that. Yeah. And yeah, I mean, it's hard to have that perspective hard to have that perspective as a, as a young child. Yeah. You just don't think about consequences much. Yeah. And also I think you get into these things where you're just heightening, like your friend says something crazy and then your brain gets this rush of excitement from the crazy thing they said. You're like, Oh, that feels good. And then you're like, Oh, I'm going to say something crazier. And then you say something crazier and

words to you at that, at that age, aren't attached to meaning or the history of that word. Yeah. They're just attached to the excitement that you get from the word. Right. To a degree. Right. Some people are actually much smarter and more mature at that time. Yeah.

But I'm talking about crazy whoever I was hanging out with. You just get so supercharged on just saying crazy things and just hiding Zeska or doing crazy things. Yeah. You don't even know what you're doing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Like someone gets mooned and then they fall down and then someone like smacks a piece of ham on their ass. Yeah. You know, and then someone else jumps and bites the ham. Yeah. And then, you know, and then pretty soon you're like, dude, we're at a crazy place right now. Yeah. Like you're eating ham off that guy's ass.

Yeah. But it's just, uh, it's just how things get ramped up. Yeah. It's like a combination of like young T adolescence, and ham, and ass. I mean, something wild is going to happen. Things go down. They come together in ways you can never forecast. Yeah.

Well, it's like when you watch movies of Billy Madison and stuff, and they're lighting dog shit on fire. That looks like the most fun I've ever had. Right. So it's hard not to get caught up in that, I guess. Yeah. Or to, yeah, I don't know. Well, but like literally if you asked me now,

if you're like, hey man, let's go light some shit on someone's doorstep. I don't know. I think I'd be like, bro, what the fuck are you talking about me? But maybe, I don't know. Maybe you catch me when I'm drunk or, you know, if I still did drugs, really.

Yeah. Maybe then. Yeah. I don't think so though. I actually think I'm drunk or, you know, if I still did drugs, really. Yeah. Maybe then. Yeah. I don't think so, though. I actually think I get more sensitive when I do drugs. Yeah. I think if I was on drugs, I'd be like, man, nah. Yeah.

Nah. Yeah. Nah, we don't want to burn shit tonight. Yeah. Hey, I got an idea. How about we just all take shits in a bag? We just take it to my backyard. We just burn it there.

Yeah. Yeah, we do everything but put it on somebody else's thing. Yeah. Yeah. There was this guy on my street in college it was like the full-on party street but this guy he's this old guy and he's like he's like defiant he's like i'm not fucking moving you know he's like 80 and so we didn't really prank him that much but we're just like he we're just we're like doorbell

ditch him and stuff and and just like piss him off and play music loud and at the time you're like yeah what are you doing dude like this is our street we're gonna rage yeah but now i'm like what a cool guy you know he stood his ground oh yeah he's like i'm living here fuck you guys and he's just his old balls are hanging and he's just like standing on the porch with like a screwdriver ready to pop any balls that come. And I don't want to talk about balls, but I'm just trying to paint the picture. I get it. You know, like an old guy who wants to ruin fun.

So if you like kick a soccer ball into the yard, he's going to pop it. Right. Right. Oh, dude, that's too much from him. Yeah. That's war. Yeah. Yeah.

You can't do the balls get kicked into yards. It's just a cost of doing business yeah yeah i may be talking nonsense i'm kind of tired today i bet you it makes a lot more sense than i even understand because that happens a lot where like i'll think i'm like i didn't quite get that but then when i watch the playback i'm like that makes perfect sense yeah so i think you're actually no i think i think i do that a lot i just i just think things make sense and i just say them i think they do make sense. Oh, thank you. But I think I'm not, I don't catch it always, but it always makes sense.

Yeah. When I listen back to it, it always connects. Oh, okay. Cool, cool. Yeah. Well, audience, let me know if that made sense. And if not, I'll try to be more articulate about old guys with low-hanging balls. I get that.

And someone needs to be talking about them. Yeah. Yeah. They're kind of like the, you know, they're undersung. Dude, I had an incident today kind of around some of that stuff that matter. So I was at this Hawaiian fish place and no one's wearing anything. And then this, not old guy, but this older gentleman, probably in his fifties. Good looking though.

Good shape. I'm there to buy pickup. He walks right past me and goes, hey, I got pickup. And gets his credit card first. And I'm just staring at him like this. Just likearing and then he's like oh sorry man i've you know they called my shrimp and then i was like you know out there and he kind of mumbles yeah and then i just stare and i'll say a word yeah and then he just goes oh here keep the change and then just grabbed his food and darted out but it was there was real malice in my eyes wait so what did he do

he kind of okay so we you i was waiting in line to get my takeout and then he acted like there was another line for takeout that goes in front of the regular i'm paying to get my food right but there was only one line he skipped everyone he skipped everyone and i was at the front i want to get out of there quick because no one's wearing a mask yeah and then and then he just walked up and then he tried to justify it but he was a little mealy-mouthed about it yeah Yeah. And then he took off. Yeah. But I felt like I got him.

And did he apologize a little bit? I don't know. Yeah, he did say, I'm sorry. He said, I'm sorry, man. You know, they call my shrimp. And then I don't know. They were saying, you know, there's a tube. And he kind of mumbled it at the end.

And I was like. Yeah. And then he was like, all right, all right, keep the change. But he wasn't scared of me. I think he just wanted to get away. He was just like, I'm getting out of here. Dude, cutting in line, huge faux pas. It's rude, bro.

It happens at Whole Foods all the time because they have like a distance thing, you know? And I've started to tell people, I'm like, hey, you cut me. That's so good. And you know, a lot of it is about this new social distancing. Yeah. Because I was at the back today trying to give space to the person in front of me. And someone's like, are you in line? They're like a foot behind me. I'm like,

yeah, I'm trying to create space. Because there's this thing called a pandemic going on. And they're like, I'm amazed at how many people don't put on their mask because they're just dumb. You know what I mean? They'll just have their mask here and they'll just walk

right up to you and start talking a foot from your face yeah and you'll do something like hey and they're like oh right right yeah the pandemic yeah and you're like you're not aware of this when you're around me yeah this isn't clicking quicker yeah yeah sorry it really it really got my goat no dude i hear you i hear you dude i i um i booted from uh boozing for the first time in like years this weekend. Dude, you know what? My stomach was really upset that day, too. Yeah.

Because we were mixing. We mixed. Yeah. Yeah. And we're not big mixers. No. I only drink red wine now. So I had Coors.

I had a Long Island. I don't know. A Longboard Brew. Whiskey. A White Claw. A Long Island Iced Tea. In a White Claw, a Long Island iced tea. Did you do Long Island? I did a Long Island.

That's crazy. Yeah. But I don't know if it was like, because it was like a Keurig cocktail machine. So I don't know if it was like as heavy as like a real Long Island. I think it was just like flavors. Was that thing cool? It was cool. I didn't see it.

You didn't see it? No. It was cool. But I heard about it. It sounds pretty cool. Yeah. I can't even wrap my brain around what it might look like it looks like a keurig filled with whiskey that's awesome yeah nice yeah really interesting yeah it is interesting yeah yeah but you booted i booted i booted hard i was watching jerry i came back home i was watching jerry mcguire nice and i booted but now i'm worried that i can't watch jerry mcguire without

you know associating it with the boot yeah yeah because that'll happen like some whatever alcohol i boot on i normally take like a couple month break from you know because just when you think about it you just like oh yeah yeah well all right hold on we'll test it i'm looking for my wife dude i'm gonna boot no dude no all right well if i see if i see cuba good and junior shirtless i'm gonna boot no dude no alright well if I see if I see Cuba Gooding Jr. shirtless

I'm gonna yak everywhere Jerry I just want you to do one thing for me show me the money Aaron do you have Pepto? oh no dude what about the music from it? she lets you in her house

dude you're gonna make me spew, dude. You can knock in late at night. I'm going to fucking spew, dude. Dude, no. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry. That's a bummer, dude. Yeah.

Maybe switch to Almost Famous. That's still a killer flick. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My mom has that with Hotel California. Really? She's like, John Thomas, turn it off.

Really? I'm like, come on. No, it's the best. Yeah. She's like, no, something bad happens every time that song comes on. Really? She said, John Thomas, turn it off. Really? I'm like, come on, I know it's the best. Yeah. She's like, no, something bad happens every time that song comes on. Really? Yeah. What was the bad thing?

Can you say it? No, I don't think she ever told me. I think it was some gnar-gnar, though. Yeah? Yeah. Hmm. I think it was someone died when she was listening to it or something. That's tough.

Yeah. That's such a sick song, too. Yeah, and then the second time was like she heard that song was when she got selected to be in jury duty with polly shore how come i never heard of this i don't know i just don't talk about it a lot it was so damaging to my mom we stuck with him for a couple weeks yeah so she had to like deliberate with him yeah that's funny your mom got picked to be on the jury yeah he was in a movie called jury duty yeah and so i thought he would know the it was this was after i thought he know how to go about it but yeah uh your mom your mom's so charming of it they're like dude get her

on the jury yeah she's gonna be a good presence in the i'm kidding though oh you are yeah but i think it's pretty hilarious i didn't know if i should tell you should i have told you no oh damn damn damn damn fuck i totally believed you fuck my bad yeah um sorry that's funny airplane mode um well it's such like a it's so far out of left field that i was like yeah it is a weird thing to make up yeah it just felt funny to compare it to death yeah yeah um that's smart dude so we read an article about or this wasn't even an article but we just read an excerpt about how like in comedy stories versus drama stories they actually are pretty traditional in their morals you know what i mean like the philandering guy decides to settle down or you know something always in that ballpark but in

dramas a lot of times they'll undermine those conventions and they'll be like no actually what if it's more honest to to go your own way or something like yeah yeah and it was it was interesting i was like but but i do think comedies need that right yeah because they're irreverent in the comedy and then their tradition like isn't super bad they don't end up sleeping with people at the end right right it's about their friendship yeah yeah and i remember and i think it's better for that right yeah if they would have boned i don't know if it if i remember i don't know no i don't think i would like it as much no because i think you want to see them mature a little bit yeah it's a comedy you don't really want it uh would it be as funny if they like went to a party and got laid right i don't know unless it was like

jim in american pie like that kind of situation yeah i mean when fogel kind of gets laid it's good yeah yeah beast um yeah i don't know and then there's something that people who are like so stuck in their ways. Right. Which would you say that's a conservative trait? No, you're right, though, that, like, it's more about that. It's more about people who are stuck in their ways. Yeah. Yeah, because if the person was, like, stuck in a bad relationship, then at the end we would want them to get out.

Yeah. Like at a Holmes and the hangover. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, maybe it doesn't fall across lines that easily. Yeah. over yeah yeah so yeah maybe it doesn't fall across lines that easily yeah i know richard roper's negative review about wedding crashers was that he wanted them to stay wedding crashers at the end he thought it was like too sentimental that they yeah you know both get converted out of it but i don't know in retrospect that's the way the movie should have gone yeah yeah but but i do

i mean i don't know the movie's kind of hasn't aged that well you know because when you watch the first half you're like this won't play today yeah they're pretty predatory yeah but it is so much more fun

the first half oh yeah and then when they get into the story and like the you know it gets so sort of emotional and they fall out

it's just kind of a bummer it loses some energy yeah but then Will Ferrell almost single handedly yeah you need that in the greatest performance of all time just squeezing the hand yeah yeah It's just kind of a bummer. It loses some energy. Yeah. But then Will Ferrell almost single-handedly. Yeah. You need that.

In the greatest performance of all time. Yeah. Just squeezing the hand. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think when Owen Wilson gets so depressed, you're just kind of like, oh, dude. Right.

He felt that. Yeah. But. His answer machine's funny. This is John. Whatever. Whatever. Yeah. What was I going to say?

About movies, traditional. Oh, yeah, because at the end of a... Yeah, I think it just depends on the character. Because with Sex and the City, Samantha ends up breaking up with Smith Jared, and that bummed me out because I was like, no, that dude like a really good partner for her but it was about her character

being true to herself that she was meant to be single but I didn't think that was actually right and for a second there I thought it was because I'm conventional but I think you're right we want the character to grow and growth means you change who you are yeah you become more open minded to other ways of living that might be more

beneficial for you I think one thing about comedy or just like looking at why things are funny is that like life is so ridiculous in the society we've set up is so ridiculous and just like the rules and behavior and stuff so i think i think a lot of comedy is like looking at how how absurd some people are and their sort of inherent um and sort of their their core beliefs and behavior yeah that makes sense no totally just because like if you take a step back and you're like wow we created this culture this society and it's insane yeah it's pretty ridiculous it's not like in a it's not like objectively like this is what society would be it's just like a bunch of dudes it's not like joe rogan right now but it's like

this is like a bunch of dudes you know establish these rules and be like yeah that's how it should be yeah you know and we've made selections off of that since then that have only taken us into what feels like a more arbitrary direction. We're just kind of like, but I guess it's just what we do. Enough people like it. And we'd be like, why do you do that? Or tolerate it at least. That's the way it is.

Yeah. But I don't know, the comedies we mentioned, do they do that? Like Wedding Crashers doesn't. No. Yeah, what comedies we mentioned, do they do that? Like Wedding Crashers doesn't. No. Yeah, what comedies do that? I mean, there's like Idiocracy is one that kind of tackles more of that. Yeah. Like it's like a little more culturally incisive.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think Step Brothers was sneakily kind of, and I think that's why it's aged well. Yeah. you know i think stepbrothers was sneakily kind of and i think that's why it's aged well yeah because i think it actually had a good commentary on just like man children and like kind of like consumerism and stuff like that yeah while still just being like really ridiculous and funny yeah yeah and then there's more serious comedies you know like force majeure is like a good one about like masculinity although i don't know if it really goes wide into like the culture at large with like how other things change us yeah i think i

think comedy tackles a lot of masculinity a lot yeah how absurd that is yeah um that is most of comedy right yeah yeah because it's hilarious yeah yeah like happy gilmore he's just like a angry but he's sweet and lovable right but he's really angry and just over the top yeah Will Ferrell does that a lot I guess like Billy Madison is about how our society is set up so like there's people who have huge fortunes

and are so rich they have these dipshit kids yeah and how little he has to accomplish to take over his dad's fortune yeah he just has to do two weeks of each grade and not fail yeah yeah which is like such a low bar to hurdle yeah yeah it's sort of like when like when like you know like like prince harry or something they talk about social issues yeah you know they're like inequalities and it's like

you're rich because you were born yeah like you literally yeah were born into a royal family yeah and that's just funny to me it is crazy yeah like royalty's hilarious i pull for her i like harry yeah no i'm not i'm not i'm not saying harry's bad guy but i'm just saying yeah i'm just saying like uh the idea of royalty is ridiculous. That's why I think those movies are popular where the royalty acts like a normal person. You know what I mean? Where it's like the princess in disguise. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And she meets a guy who's like a bassist and drives a motorcycle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then in like two-thirds of the movie, he's like, why didn't you tell me who you were? She's like, I thought you wouldn't, like, believe me. Yeah, yeah. No, I thought you wouldn't, like, treat me the same. Yeah, yeah. He's like, I don't wouldn't like believe me. Yeah, yeah. No, I thought you wouldn't like treat me the same. Yeah, yeah. He's like,

I don't care about that. You care about that. Yeah. Yeah, those movies are good. Dude, so speaking of movies, see, I watched Rain Man. Yeah. Dude, I'm,

well, so I watch it every night like when my meds have already kicked in so I only watch like five minutes at a time. Yeah. It's good. It's really good.

Like the opening shot's really cool. It's just like a crane like carrying a Lamborghini into like the docks. You're like, this is interesting. Yeah. But dude,

the thing I was struck by, Dustin Hoffman's performance, way out there on a limb. Yeah. Way out there on a limb. Like at first when it starts, I'm like, nah,

he shouldn't be doing this. Yeah. I know. Yeah. I always think about that table read where, you know, Dustin Hoffman starts reading his lines and Tom Cruise is like... He's just kind of going into himself.

Yeah. But I do think his performance is so good that after a couple scenes you're like, all right, I buy it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you're like, yeah, that's pretty amazing. Yeah. The balls on Dustin Hoffman. The balls, dude. Yeah.

He's pushing the envelope. Yeah. The director's like, all right, action. Wow. dude. Yeah. He's pushing the envelope. Yeah. The director's like, all right, action. Wow. Whoa. Yeah. But I think it's good enough where I think everyone on set's like, they're probably like, phew.

Yeah. Yeah, we're going to be okay. Do you think he had like, he was insecure about it? Like he would like do it and he's like, guys, is that like, is this okay? Right. Like afterwards he's kind of cowering and he's like, eh? Yeah. Like there's some days he couldn't do it. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I don't think so, bro. No, no. Like afterwards he's kind of cowering and he's like, yeah, like there's some days he

couldn't do it. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, I don't think so, bro. No, no. I think that's D Hoffman's gift. I just think he's oblivious. He's like, all right, cut.

And he's like, that was great. Crushed it again. Yeah. I'm wondering if there's people who have been fired because they're like, you're not playing it convincingly enough. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah.

That's interesting. Yeah. People know what they're doing. If a director fires you for that, you probably need to get fired. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. People know what they're doing. If a director fires you for that, you probably need to get fired. Yeah. Yeah. But, yeah, that's a, it's a edgy movie. Yeah.

In, like, accidental ways. Very conventional story in terms of the themes of it. Mm-hmm. Dude, we also read an article about Malcolm Gladwell finding God. It was more about him, like, actually believing in the power of God. Right. Because of, like, what it did for these individuals. I don't know. That was a heavy article. It bummed me out a lot.

Well, he talked about basically this family whose daughter was killed, right? And how they were so quick to forgive the killer because of their faith yeah yeah which is

I mean that's gotta be one of the hardest things on earth to do it was pretty crazy compassion yeah I don't know but I was like it didn't strike me as powerful as Malcolm Gladwell described it, though.

Yeah. Because it was really about how you react to something. Yeah. But it was amazing. Like, I do really admire those people. Yeah. But I guess it wasn't proof of the power of God for me. Yeah.

Yeah. I saw it more as, like, proof of, like, the power of faith. Of belief. Right. You're right. Yeah. Of, like, it reminded me of, like, Alcoholics Anonymous, where they're, Right, you're right. Yeah. Of like, it reminded me of like

Alcoholics Anonymous where they're like, the 12 steps, where they're like, you gotta like believe in a higher power to like accept, you know,

your sobriety and like maintain it. Yeah. Which is kind of like, is like, and I think a lot of people they say like, you don't have to

actually believe in God, but you have to sort of submit to a higher power. Yeah. So I think there's something in that. Yeah, weapons of the spirit, he called them. That was a cool turn of phrase. Yeah. It allowed people to do remarkable things.

Yeah. Yeah. No, I do find that. yeah yeah no I do find that like if I believe in stuff it does make it I do feel more like emboldened and what I'm doing like in my choices yeah yeah it's it's it's interesting because it's like finding that balance I think is like I don't know because like I feel like yeah no you're on it's a good it's a good thought that you have well like we're like you know religion can go you know so far in the extremes where it's caused wars and all this other stuff but there's like you know but then if you i think if you like if you have a faith and you

like utilize it correctly then it could be powerful it's a good point yeah is that like uh it's like most things you're probably better off if you're somewhere in like the middle of the spectrum yeah like if you're too intensely religious it's kind of closed off yeah but then if you're super anti-religious yeah there's also some negative things that come with that right yeah if you have some kind of like more measured more measured approach, where you're like, I take the good with the bad and leave out the rest. Yeah. Yeah. That is probably, like,

the most ideal way to do it. Yeah. Yeah. And I just watch Spotlight. Yeah. Which, like, you see... Yeah. You know, not a lot of good in there.

I mean, you know, journalism, whoop. But, yeah, that was a tough movie yeah but the end they're like i shouldn't laugh but they're like like here's the here's um after this article came out here's the list of cities where like scandals were exposed and it's like every city in america yeah the list just goes on and on both priests I grew up with were bad guys to varying degrees but both were

and it was both in the sexual department yeah for some reason as a kid I was never exposed to that stuff I wasn't even aware of it I mean we weren't aware of it I mean we talked about it the kids did we all yeah like i wasn't even aware of it i mean we weren't aware of it yeah we i mean we talked about it the kids did we'd be like oh dude that father's like handsy and stuff

but it but also we weren't getting i think some kids got it worse than others um but we were like i know we talked about it but it didn't feel real and then when it got real it was so obvious to everyone we were like oh my god of. Like he was hiding in plain sight. Like the guy was like super handsy, would say weird things to you, was like grope you, like beat me up one time in class, just did like weird stuff. Yeah. And then none of it felt weird because you did look up to them. Yeah.

Yeah. You did think that they were closer to God, which is what makes it even worse is that they abuse that. Yeah. That like loyalty from the people who listen to them. Yeah. Or that awe. Yeah. It's weird.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a good movie. But yeah, the article was good, but I don't know. So does he practice a certain religion? I think he says he was raised christian i think sometimes too that he and i think other people have lobbed this criticism at him i think he goes into something with like a thesis and then he kind of conforms that to what he gets you know he's like like why did a lot of politicians lose a parent?

And then, I mean, I'm sure he did, has some more specificity in there, but that just felt like such a broad, general thing that happens that it almost felt like you could pick, you know, it could be like, why did most people who become big politicians, like, you know,

lose their, change best friends in high school or grade school? It's like, yeah like it happens to everybody yeah but I don't know that's interesting and then we read an article

about myths about stock diversification for the Wall Street Journal it was tough dude yeah what did you think about their myth one

about diversifying a portfolio beyond 12 to 18 stocks offers no benefits i mean it just uh it disrupted everything i thought i knew about diversification right yeah because i thought it was like 20 sure you know how'd you feel yeah you know it went against what i thought was the conventional wisdom. I had to read it twice because I thought it meant the opposite the first time. And then I got the real meaning the second time.

And I agreed with it both times, which I really think speaks to the paradoxes in investment. Yeah. So, yeah, you bring up such a good point. I mean, because I guess I wasn't aware of the rule, but that's sort of why only I really have stock in Billabong. Yeah. It's a ton of stock stock in Billabong. Yeah. It's a ton of stock. You trust the company. Yeah.

So you put all your eggs into one basket. Well, I watched Blue Crush. Yep. Anne-Marie Chadwick played by Kelly Bosworth. Or Kate Bosworth. Gets sponsored by Billabong in the end. Yes. Spoiler rush.

I like that phrase yeah spoiler rush just dude run with it and what like people are gonna love it spoiler crush um and that's when i decided to invest because my grandma gave me like you know a fair amount of bones and i just you know i called my brothers in finance i'm like put all this in in billabong um what did your brother say I called my brothers in finance. I'm like, put all this in Billabong. What did your brother say? He was like, why? And I was like, because I just watched Blue Crush.

And he's like, okay. That was it. Yeah, my dad's been a little bit skeptical of my kind of stock instincts as well. What's your portfolio right now? Well, so he wants me to do like more blue chip stocks and then, you know, take some risks on with some of my portfolio on some, you know, more fast rising companies that aren't as well established. But to me, it's like, dad, that's all just verbiage. You know what I mean? Talk to me real.

Talk to me like a man to man. You know what I mean? Yeah. So when I come at him, I just go, dad, pokey. verbiage you know what i mean talk to me real talk to me like a man to man you know what i mean yeah so when i come to him i just go dad pokey yeah do you love it does everyone love it yeah who's got the best pokey on the mainland bear flag let's invest them yeah my dad calls them or you know looks it up on the computer or whatever yeah they're not a publicly traded company which is crazy dude because what's their market cap three billion they got three stores yeah yeah they're probably doing a billion each. Dude, their IPO is going to be off the charts. It's going to be huge. Yeah.

Yeah. That's initial public offering. But we're sitting on that. We're waiting. Yeah. So then we go, okay, Pokishack. That's a publicly traded company. That's one we can invest in.

Yeah. I see it's at $6 a share. I'm like, I'm all in. Right. You know what I mean? I'm offloading goods. I got rid of one of my kettlebells because I had three 16kg ones, so I didn't need the third one.

Sold that for 150 bucks. So right there, what am I picking up? Yeah, picking up what? 23 shares or something like that? Roughly. Right. So I'm all in on Pokishack. I just, I don't know.

I think Poki's a huge growth market. I think it's going to take over the rest of the country pretty soon. Because I'm hearing there's not even a lot of Pokishacks. And like, if you go as east of like New'm hearing there's not even a lot of PokéShacks. If you go east of New Mexico, they don't have a lot there. But it's coming. I mean, it can only go green from here, dude.

And not just because I'm getting green sriracha on my bowls now. I mean, it's going to expand and it's going to be like a freaking bowl. Yep. And so I think it can going to be like a freaking bowl. Yep. And so I think it can only go up. I love that. You know, I think probably the only thing holding you back is like, you know, the fact that fish are in the ocean. You know, it's hard to get in the middle of the country. I have been wondering about that. Yeah.

Like what's the quickest transpo? Yeah. But I think, I don't know. Yeah. Like what's the quickest transpo. Yeah. But I think, I don't know. It was like, you showed me that Ray Diallo book and they almost weren't going to be able to make chicken McNuggets at McDonald's because the chicken, they didn't think there was enough

money in the chicken feed business because it was kind of volatile. So the chicken feed place was like, hey, we can't give you enough feed to make the chicken. And then Diallo was like, hey, to hedge your bet, just short the chicken seed market. And then so even if it does dip to a place where you can't make money on it, you'll make enough money on that to cover your losses. So yes, we can make chicken McNuggets. So I'm thinking the same way. I'm like, look, there's going to be some new investment device that's going to be like, is the fish fresh by the time it gets to the middle of the country? And then I'll short that stock. Yeah. Good call, dude.

Money. Yeah. Money on money on money. Yeah. That's the name of the game. It's all about cash. Staying in the green. Yeah, I think Billabong's coming out with their new fall line soon.

It looks good, right? I mean, their stock is at, what, like, you know, $10 a share now? Dude, I'm pretty sure it's going to go to $11. Oh, dude, it's going to be huge. Yeah. I mean, they got... I mean, if Blue Crush 2 came out and Amory Chadwick was still on the Billabong team, I mean, that's what I keep telling

them I'm like dude you need to make Blue Crush 2 so and then you know you're going to ramp up your stocks and then the board is going to be so stoked dude you know I think we should call Billabong and see how they're feeling about the fall line and what the sales are going to be

good call you like that? Yeah, I love that. You know amateur, you know what you're doing. Here we go. One, eight, eight, eight, five, zero, nine, five, nine, three, one. Wait. I think I'm calling Billabong. wait

that doesn't sound good expediting the process and allow five business days for your tracking information to update. If you haven't received shipment notification yet, rest assured that we are working to process... Expediting the process. Maybe they should switch to DHL? Yeah. Low tone. Once you are notified of shipment, we ask that you please be patient...

Is there an answer machine? I think just keep pressing numbers. That's what I do when I call cable. And eventually I get someone. All the numbers do the same thing. Dude, I'm really frustrated with Billabong. That's a real letdown. Yeah.

I like to be able to get in touch with somebody. I want a human on the other end. Yeah. You know? Well, we'll have to let them know. Yeah. I need more personal care. Because I've been thinking about divesting some of my money from pokey into billabong.

But I need a relationship. I know. I mean, that worries me, dude. Because my whole, you know, pretty soon I'm going to have to pay a mortgage. Yep. And if they're not having real people answering the phone, I mean, what's that going to do to the stock? It's going to kill it. Yeah.

And I'm stressed too because I know you're going to have a mortgage. I'm going to be living at your house. So that's hanging over your head. So now it's hanging over my head. Yeah. And then the stress from my mortgage is going to fall onto you. Yep. over my head yeah and then my the stress from my mortgage is gonna fall into you yep because you know you're gonna be in the room over and you're just gonna feel that negative energy

and then we're not gonna be as psyched to do investments i mean it's just like a it's just it's a it's a butterfly effect of cascading disaster yeah you know yeah have you thought about bitcoin at all yeah i thought a bit about it yeah i thought for me because when i first got introduced to i'm like oh colored money that's gonna do huge yeah do you need to use the restroom no oh i don't know why i thought that because i screwed up yeah sorry chad do you want to do an ad and then we can answer some questions. Yeah. Sorry. Before you do the ad, I have some Rain Man trivia.

Oh, you do? Yeah, I was looking it up. Apparently Dustin Hoffman did try to quit the movie three weeks in. Oh, really? Yeah, he said, get Richard Dreyfuss, get whoever, I don't care. Really? He did not think he was doing a good job. Oh, interesting.

Even though he studied for like a year with savants and autistic people. Interesting. What's up, guys? I'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that we are brought to you by Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our donglings are looking fresh and clean. Because guys, your dongs are important. Your dongs need care. They need tending to. They need to scream out, what what up i'm groomed and i'm ready to show myself to the world but let's keep it legal unless you're streaking in an in a legal way

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Manscaped.com. Use code GoDeep20 from thecaped.com. 20% off, free shipping. Manscaped.com. Use code GoDeep20. From the moose to the caboose, always use the right tools for the job. What up? All right, so we've got some questions this week. Hey, bros, first I've got to say that I'm a massive fan of the pod. I look up to y'all's lifestyle and vocabulary. I'm a senior in high school and been struggling with the women.

Here's the sitch. I'm in love with these two girls they're the same people and in both of many clear they're not interested one of them started to hook up with my roommate behind my back which plummeted my stove there's also another girl at home because I go to boarding school that people think I'll marry but it's hard because I'm never there what should I do it's been causing a lack of stoke and I don't have my activities like bronzing wakeboarding and surfing my friends are worried about me. Please help.

Is he interested in the one that people think he's going to marry? Yeah, he says he's in love with two girls. He says they are the same people. That's weird. I don't think either one of these girls is the one for him. Yeah. I think your friends are right to worry about you. I think you need to start bronzing and wakeboarding and surfing more.

Yeah. Really throw yourself into that stuff. And then, um, just wait a little bit. Cause I don't think either one of these is right for you. And don't let the roommate and, uh, uh, hooking up with the girl you like thing hurts you too much. Yeah. That happens.

Yeah. Especially at that age. You know, if he does it to you when you're 35 and married, then we got a problem. Yeah. But at 18, it's like, you kind of just roll with it. Yeah. I mean, you're young. I mean, you're young.

Romance is new to you and you're going to feel like if you don't have it, it's the end of the world. But it's not, you know, enjoy, enjoy your youth. Have fun. Get out there, wakeboard, bronze, surf. Go eat chicken nuggets. Go get a smoothie. Just make sure you're having fun because you will find a lady that will knock your socks off and your manscape boxer briefs off. And then you'll be like, oh, why was I even bumming about that? You know, I wasted a hot August worrying about this stuff.

When in the long run, it doesn't even matter. Yeah. I should have been wakeboarding. I should have been out there having fun with my friends. And you got a better shot at meeting the one who is the one for you. Yeah. When you're busting a fat rodeo flip or, you know, just something upside down on the wakeboard. Yeah.

Yeah. That's going to draw the right kind of person to you. Yeah. Yeah. I think whenever you're in these situations and you're bumming about a lady, just think, like, what would Bruce Willis in Armageddon do? He'd drill a hole in an asteroid. Yep.

He never misses his mark. Yeah. I love that guy. And think about what you'd want Harry to say to you when he puts you back in the tube to get into the spaceship to leave the asteroid so that he can blow it up. What do you want him to say about you? He says, I'd be damn proud to have you as a son-in-law. That's what he says to him. I'd be damn proud to have you marry Gracie.

Do things that are going to get Bruce Willis to say that to you. Yeah. Yeah. Push the button, Stamper. Push the button, Stamper. Push the button, Stamper. Oh! Dude, the thing. Oh!

Oh, man. I also, like, dude, so many, every girl I ever liked hooked up with one of my friends. You just get used to it, bro. And then you learn, you're like, just don't let it make you bitter, you know? Because then you start saying things, oh, I'll fucking shoot you the same. That's not helping anybody.

Yeah. You just got to be happy for your friends. It's hard, dude. A lot of work. Yeah. But you just try to be happy for your friends and just realize that if you just got a pure heart and you keep putting yourself out there sincerely, it's going to come back on you. It's going to come back on you in a good way.

That's good stuff. This is a long one. Buckle up. What's up, bro amigos? Long time stoker and big fan of the pod. Your analysis of personal issues is an incredible breath of fresh air and brings non-superficial compassion in an altruistic world. It certainly affected my life in a positive way, as I'm sure it can for others, especially

for young 20-something douchebags like myself. Enough jerking off. Here's the question. I like what I'm hearing. At the time, I was enamored by her, and so was she. But playing the card most young attractive girls play, at least partially as I did myself, wanted to see the field as well as seeing me, causing issues of trust that are frankly here today. While all this can be said, we left on good terms, and if not transferring, we both said we'd probably stay together. But you did transfer. Fast forward two years from transferring, and we still talk most of the time.

She's visited me once in my new college town, shout out to Gachos, in which she stated, she'll always love me. The feeling is partially mutual. At the time of first transferring, I was young and felt, frankly, demasculated by being with her at that young of an age. But your boy was young and wanted to fuck, too, and proceeded to do so. Sleeping with enough women that would make you think that i would be over her but you'd be wrong why am i laughing when it came off as so sincere yeah like such like a

like romantic yeah he's like yeah but i want to fuck too it just comes so out of left field that's true yeah he's like so vulnerable with this girl he's like he's like i love her and i don't know what to tell her but man i also love to fuck dude i went out this one night and met this hot blonde we had a real wild he's like let's be honest like i've fucked so many women like you wouldn't even know how to count yeah i know that was always a weird thing my friend would be like dude i don't know i don't I've fucked so many women. Like, you wouldn't even know how to count. Yeah. I know. That was always a weird thing. My friend would be like, dude, I don't know.

I don't know what's wrong with me. Like, I just sleep with so many women. Like, I've slept with 60 women. Like, what's wrong? But you could hear the pride in his voice. He was like, all right, well, we get it, dude. Yeah. Yeah.

But you'd be wrong. Through these triad of times, very few women have been able to make me come. I've resorted to her sometimes thinking of her to suffice, as well as in times of drilling. Thinking of her seemed to be a surefire way to get it done when looking at pictures of other girls or past hookups could never do the same. Sometimes even resorting myself to thinking of other guys she's been with will get it done. Yeah, I get this. I've been dealing with just fine and found success in my social and career life as I'm 22 and a little bit going for me with friends and possible career things lining up. I haven't found anything that close in terms of bond in a relationship and taking anything from your advice that would most likely be the root

cause. But what would the fathers of Stoke weigh in on this? Am I gay? Is she just a good fuck? Am I just a romantic looking for my forever lover to appease my knob? Do I need to try to put myself out there more to try to refine that bond? I've done that and had little success but would appreciate any advice. Incredibly appreciative if this makes the pod may we forever be graced in the eternal glory of joe's hog amen that's nice dude i think um you know if you've been out there

and you've been fucking like you're saying yes but she's still on your mind i mean i think it's something you might need to explore further, if possible. Dude, that's nice. Yeah. Yeah, I thought it was, I, see, I was being cynical. What'd you think? I thought he was just in fantasy. Yeah.

And, like, it's fun to fantasize about those things. Yeah. But then when you actually deal with the reality. Yeah. It oftentimes isn't as, you get over it just as quick. I think that could certainly be the case. But he should find out. Yeah. the case. But he should find out. Yeah.

Yeah. I think he should find out. Also, I think him and this girl just might have had better sexual chemistry than he's had with these other girls. And maybe he's a pretty intense, specific guy. I'm really projecting here. So maybe he just needs to find someone else that he has that kind of chemistry with. Yeah. That's interesting.

Because maybe you're not coming because you're not really into them yeah maybe maybe and maybe you're really into this other girl but that doesn't mean she'll be the only girl you're really into yeah but if you are really into her i like what chad's saying i mean yeah yeah um yeah i'd i'd explore it further and just you know see for real and then and if it's not what you thought it would be, then just continue on the search. Because you'll find your lady. You've got a promising future. You're a good guy. So, you know, and again, you're young.

Yeah. It's not do or die at this moment. Just, you know, take life as it comes. For sure. Yeah. On the Ashley Meley mirrors episode she kind of like reoriented my thinking on that a little bit yeah what what what exactly we were like telling this young dude we're like hey grass is always greener stay with your girl and then um which i think is good advice too and then she was like no you know he's young i would tell him to keep exploring but

also his motivation was that he wanted to sleep with a milf yeah Yeah. Right. So, but she actually treated him more seriously. It was like, maybe he needs that experience. Yeah. Maybe that's something he really genuinely wants and needs. Yeah. But when you hear it, it's hard to take it super serious because you're like, all right, you got a girlfriend. You want to sleep with a MILF.

It's like, I think a lot of people have those thoughts and most are better suited if they just stay on the course they're on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is because I don't know. stay on the course they're on yeah yeah yeah it is because i i don't know i'm you know i'm not a maestro of love but i think uh yeah it's sort of how do you how do you how do you sort of decide

which fantasies you need to explore and which you need to sort of yeah you know kick to the curb and just sort of stay on the path yeah good call yeah yeah like what is important yeah yeah like what's worth like kind of digging a hole in the ground like no like i really want to do this yeah yeah yeah it's tough it's a good question yeah and everyone's different some people can accept like some people don't need it that bad you know and other people are like more exploratory i'm like no i really like that's part of my personality is to explore i need need to have someone else who's on that wavelength. Yeah. Yeah.

Hmm. Quick question for the bros. What up, Chad and JT? I just had a quick question. In the Huntington Beach Mass video, you guys referenced getting nude as dropping dong. But my friend was wondering what the female equivalent is.

Thanks for keeping the stoke levels high during the Rona days. I think Cardi B's probably mentioned it in one of her songs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, because I don't want to throw something out there and be offensive. I think if I pick the word, it's not going to come out right.

Yeah. If I'm like, all right, for testing's sake. Yeah. All right. Okay, she's flashing Bush. Right. Maybe that's not that bad yeah yeah maybe del taco just del taco

i don't know i'm scared yeah i don't know. I'm scared. Yeah. I don't know, man. I don't know, dude. Ladies, if you're listening, write it in and let us know. Yeah. It's tough. Cody. What up, Brohemus? How do you guys compartmentalize everything going on in your lives

so that it doesn't stress you out or cause anxiety? For example, y'all seem to be doing a good job of balancing slaying noobs on COD, developing research content for the pod, working out, maintaining your bras, keeping a social life, having girlfriends, and all the things you have going on in your life. How do you make time for everything each day without your workload stressing you out to the max? Do you guys have to plan out your day beforehand or just wing it every day? Lastly, where did JT bust his load

when he was driving 100 miles an hour on the interstate jerking his hog? The logistics behind this have me rather curious. Like, did you just bust all over yourself and clean up afterwards? Or did you have a towel handy to bust on? Would love to learn more about this rare feat of superior focus and multitasking ability.

Well, dude, first off, let's, you know, don't do it guys it wasn't a good thing and i needed help and i got help but i busted into a t-shirt i had an extra t-shirt and i just grabbed that t-shirt and i was like okay okay and then i was done and uh you know could have fucking killed somebody but yeah i busted into a t-shirt what was the dude's question how do we compartmentalize our oh right well obviously i wasn't doing a good job of it at that time it was kind of overwhelming yeah uh i don't know i think i think it all comes down to you force yourself. Well, I think sort of implementing like de-stressifiers in your life, you know, like Wim Hof or like naps and, you know, good food.

So that'll sort of, I think when you have like healthy habits in your life, that'll help keep you on track. Like the power of a power nap is like it's easy to get back to work after you've had a power nap i think yeah um but i think also it just comes down to building habits you know like working out it's so tough to do when you don't have the habit then it but then you just do it consistently and that's just in your routine you gotta do it and so i think approaching life that way of like and i have trouble too like you know i'm kind of like a workaholic and like it it comes at uh you know it's my it comes at

the expense of my relationships uh and something i have to like work on because like a lot of times people are like hey do you want to socialize I'm like no you know so it's like I think it's you know life is a continual work in progress so you just like develop those habits of like you know maybe setting a schedule and like

you know I'm going to like devote this amount of time to work I'm going to work out at this time I'm going to bronze this time I'm going to like you know of time to work. I'm going to work out at this time. I'm going to bronze this time. I'm going to, like, you know, call my GF at this time. And develop those habits. And eventually your life will get to a point where it's sort of unconscious. And then you just have that self-awareness of constantly evaluating, like, what do I need to work on? What do I need to, like, what am I lacking in? Yeah, a lot of it's practice, right? Yeah. And trying different need to like what am i lacking in yeah it's a

lot of it's practice right yeah and trying different stuff to see what actually helps you yeah yeah experiment yeah just try you know there will be different stuff that will take the edge off yeah yeah and will also help you and when the edge is off you can think about the anxiety in a more helpful way yeah because like if you're in a bad mood and then you're getting anxious it just it just turns into like a bleak outlook yeah but. But if you're kind of feeling good, you'd be like, all right, well this isn't ideal, but look, it's just going to be a couple hours. And then after that I get to do this thing that I really want to do. Right. Then, and then, and then, or maybe the next few days are going to be really jam packed and I'm feeling overwhelmed. It's like,

all right, well if you're feeling good, cause you're like working out and meditating, you'll zoom out a little bit and you'll be like, okay, but after those three days, I'm going to get to do this thing. I can't wait for that. That's a great point. Think of how you're going to treat yourself after you put in the work. Yeah. Yeah. Try to load up stuff to look forward to.

Yeah. How was I going to say? Oh, yeah. how was it can i say like um oh yeah think of like think of like if you like with working out think of like how how it's going to make you feel afterwards like when you don't want to do it but then you just force yourself to like do it and then you're like because you just really focus on the end result oh dude when you after you're done working out the way you walk walk around, you just walk around and you're like, you're just higher and taller. You're like, I put in work today. Yeah. Yeah.

You're looking trimmed, by the way. Oh, thank you, dude. I saw you with your shirt off. Dude. Oh, thank you, man. You look great, too. Oh, thanks, dude. Yeah, I hit the assault bike today.

It's such a great workout. Dude, the hardest thing in the world. That thing, like, really, you see people doing it in videos, you're like, ah, it's not that bad. You're just like, you know, treadmill with arms. No. Like when you do that thing, it is the hardest workout imaginable. Or like I haven't done a lot of like, you know, ultra marathon kind of stuff, but it's

maybe not the hardest workout imaginable. But of the stuff I've done, it's a killer, man. Yeah, for sure. It's tough. What's up, bros? I'm a pretty recent fan of the pod, but I've learned to appreciate this total stokeage you dudes bring to my life. Me and the boys have been listening to you guys together,

especially after a solid day at the beach house. Right now, though, I'm back at college in NY, and we are locked in because of COVID. I can't see my boys and I also can't be with my family which definitely negatively impacts my stokage level. Therefore,

I thought now would be a good time to grow a pair and try to get a dank GF like Strider has. I thought this girl wanted you to be straight up so I told the babe I liked that I thought she was

hella hot and cool as fuck right to her face in person. She seemed to react positive in that moment but now I feel like she's ghosting me. I have no idea

what changed so fast. What do I do, bro? Sincerely, Jack. Well, dude, sometimes it just doesn't go the way you want it to. I mean, it doesn't mean... And she could have reacted positively in the moment, but maybe you're just not what she's feeling right now.

I wouldn't get too hung up on that one incident or extrapolate from that that you're doing something wrong or that, or that things aren't going to work out for you at any point. You know what I mean? Or that she's representative of like a larger thing. Yeah. I think it just didn't work.

I mean, maybe, you know, try something. If it doesn't work a bunch of times and try something different, but if you feel good about it and you're being nice, I'd go, go forward.

Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think, nice, I'd go forward. Yeah. Yeah. I think maybe it came out a little strong. So she needs some time to reflect on what just happened. Yeah. So maybe try to give some space and just sort of like sort of be in like the the you know you're sort of like in the atmosphere like superman just like chilling yeah and then when she's like ready then you just like fly in that's nice it's good swoop i do think there's also a thin line between

like and it's you know it's too bad but it's the way it is between like sincere and like kind of desperate you know what i mean yeah like if you it's the way it is between like sincere and like kind of desperate. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like if you come on too strong to anyone or if anyone came on too strong to you, you'd be like, you'd be like, not worried about them, but you'd be a little bit like, why is this person coming at me so fast and hard? Like, is it because I'm special or is it because they need something? Right.

You know what I mean? Yeah. And so you might, you might, yeah, keep the sincerity, but it might just be pared down to something like, hey, I like you. And maybe you don't need to be so hyperbolic about it because that might feel like you're trying to sell her too much. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I like that.

Like, I'm really telling you something because I want you to like me. And that's kind of how it reads sometimes. Yeah. Because I've done that where I thought I was being honest, but I was just being way too horny. Yeah. Yeah. Because I've done that where I thought I was being honest, but I was just being like way too horny. Yeah. Yeah. It took me a while to grasp the concept of being desperate. Yeah.

Kind of like of how it's unattractive. Because like you see in movies where guys are like, please, I need you. I need you. Yeah. But then real life, it sounds like I need you. And you're like, dude, get away from me. Yeah. You're like, come on, you got to relax. Yeah, yeah.

So I think it's like... Because it's got to be earned. Right. You got to earn the I need you. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. And it's got to be like, you say what you're feeling, but you stand tall and strong with huge lats and shredded quads.

Like, this is how I feel feel but i'm impervious to how you'll respond yeah but this is what i want what also it's like oh this like a strapping man was honest it's like what a coup yeah you know what i mean yeah but if you're all honesty and you're like super shriveled up yeah it's like it's not gonna work yeah. So you've got to be like, I'm strong, but I did all this work to show you that I'm not all strong, which is strength. And she's like, oh, my God, you're perfect. And it's like, yes, I'm the correct amount of everything. Get over here, lady. You know what you should do?

You should call her up and be like, come over to my backyard at four o'clock. And then when she comes over, you're dripping in sweat doing kettlebell swings. Yes. And then put the kettlebell in the ground. Stand up to her, you know, flared out. And she'd be like, I like you. Yep. She's like, where do you put those when you're done?

And he's like, oh, in their compartment. And he just pushes it into the earth, which like 10 000 pounds of pressure per square inch yeah she's like oh my gosh yeah yeah it's the safest place to keep them that makes them last longer yeah then you go by the way there's something else i want to last longer with and dude i think I think and this is a trick you can do if she says

I'm not interested just be like okay and then you start swinging again then you just grab that thing right out of the earth and you're like

alright talk to you later what's that move Ross does where he like brings it the snatch yeah they start doing snatches dude

the most explosive move in the world gotta bring those hips underneath it. Got to have tremendous shoulder mobility. I mean, dude, it's a peacock move. When you throw that thing down, you're sending out some major plumage. You're like, all right, I'm explosive, I'm dynamic, and I'm intense. All right?

So as she's walking out, the last thing she'll see is she's doing explosive movements with your kettlebells. Dude, I put up a little video on my story of Ross hitting some cleans with like 71 pound kettlebells It was like incredible explosiveness. He was doing like 15 cleans to set yeah, this one guy We grew up with just messing me said he's a beast he always has been He is a fucking monster. All right, dude. Should we get into our stuff? Yeah.

My dog. What's your beef of the week? My beef is salad bars are closed. Yeah. I didn't realize that. I haven't been at a Whole Foods since the pandemic started, so I went to Whole Foods. I was like, oh, I'm going to get like an arugula and then like put some beef stew in there, you know, just mix it up. Just get a ton of meat, you know, tuna, beef. Sorry.

My phone doesn't vibrate anymore. my phone doesn't vibrate anymore. And I put it on the airpick mode. But anyways, I'm going to get like beef and then like tuna and then olive oil, vinaigrette, you know, jalapenos, tomatoes, avocado, pepperoncinis, freaking cheese, just all kinds of stuff, you know. Yeah. And I was so fired up. And the lot was full and i was waiting

for a spot finally got a spot marched in there like i just did kettlebell swings it was closed and i gotta tell you i shriveled up no i shriveled up and i walked out with my head low and i was like this pandemic is the worst thing to ever happen. You shut down the salad bars, what's next? You know? That's why we need to be diligent, guys, and fight this virus so we can go to the salad bar. Yeah, because I'm not waiting around for when they've got to close the sushi section of Whole Foods down, too.

Because that's what's next, guys. That's what's next on the chopping block. If you just don't start wearing your mask yeah all right save the sushi save the salad save the planet yeah let's go aaron what's your beef of the week my beef of the week is uh that's where the former baseball player, Jerry Hairston Jr. He was a fine player. He was like a journeyman, utility infielder guy, shortstop, second base type guy. He works for the Dodgers now.

And as soon as the Cardinals came down with COVID, it was going through the team a little bit, he put out into the universe on Twitter that he heard one of them went to a casino. And that created a shit storm that they were being irresponsible and all this stuff. It turns out through contract tracing that one of the players on the team had a buddy come over who was asymptomatic. He got it. He brought it back to the team. That's how it spread. And the thing is, it's like you put out something like that.

Not only does it create anger that's unnecessary because it wasn't even true, but also it implies it's irresponsible because it implies that something ridiculous had to happen instead of something so mundane and just being around somebody who didn't know they had it and you caught it and then you and then it spread right end up getting through to 10 players um and they missed two weeks of baseball and they just started back up this weekend um and so it's play a lot of double headers oh yeah 11 the rest of the way and i think they'll still only get to 58 games but it's just irresponsible it's stupid and i think part of it's because he works for the dodgers and they've got

a bit of a rivalry with the cardinals because we beat him all the time except for 2009 i was there whatever it you know it happens but uh i was also there in 2014 we beat clade kershaw whatever um but yeah that's my beef it's just it's just who who's taken the word of a career 257 hitter? You know, that's all I'm saying. That's true. He should mention that every time he does commentary. No, I mean, he was a fine player. Him and his brother were fine.

They weren't superstars, but they're, you know, I certainly couldn't hit off them or do better. But, you know, it's just like just like it's just completely you're not a journalist and why are you spreading gossip yeah why spread gossip you have a you have an audience so it's just it's reckless and again because covet is spread so much more simply than someone doing something so stupid and reckless during this pandemic as going to a casino. Of course that would be terrible, but it doesn't take that.

Yeah. And this, this showed man, those asymptomatic cases. Yeah. Don't like it. Scary. Yeah.

Could be anybody. Yeah. Um, dude, my beef of the week is just a beef with life and how it goes there was this kid little hercules do you remember him yeah he was so jacked and he's now 28 and he seems like a happy adult but he's not jacked anymore it just bummed me out it's sad yeah because look this is him now look he's in good shape you know had he not been little hercules yeah wouldn't be a big deal but

then you look at him when he was eight. Look at that rig. Yeah, I gotta show this rig, dude. Hold on, I'll walk over. Guys, look at this eight-year-old. You may not remember Little Hercules. Uh, it's not in focus.

It's gonna be on the camera right in front of you. This one? Yeah. All right. But it's... That's not going to work, huh? Yeah. Guys, look up little Hercules.

The kid is... I mean, look at him. You know, he was a specimen. I worried about him at the time because he was so young and so jacked. I was like, is his growth going to be stunted? How tall is he now is what I would want to know. I think he's normal height, but it wasn't in the article. I do remember when ESPN had him in the next issue,

which was always they'd be highlighting the athletes who were going to be the next big class of superstars. In the initial paragraph about him, they're like, little Hercules has his own kind of days where he'll eat a jar of honey and then do 100 pull-ups. I was like, weird. Yeah. Eats a whole jar of honey.

And then just bangs out 100 chin-ups. But, you know, maybe he feels better not being jacked. Maybe he's too used to being objectified by people's eyes, people loving him for his muscles. Yeah. He's exploring new things. Yeah. maybe he's too used to being objective he's too used to being objectified by people's eyes people loving him for his muscles yeah yeah he's exploring new things yeah maybe he's into yoga now that'd be great yeah yeah uh chad who's your uh babe of the week our babe of the week is the uh manhattan beach lifeguards nice i've been good to know lifeguards there dude they're just like if there's like a pyramid of like cool dudes, lifeguards are at the top.

Yep. They're just the coolest. Sweet guys, saving lives, getting out there, letting people know, hey, there's a rip there. Hey, get out of the water. I've got a black ball on the beach. I'm not black balling the beach. You know, they're just good dudes.

I love lifeguards, so I just want to know they're just good dudes i love lifeguards so i just want to give a shout out to the manhattan beach lifeguards you guys are legends and thank you for being so nice to me whenever i go out there one of the coolest title jobs too yeah lifeguard yeah that's super badass lifeguard i'm guarding your life dude yeah yeah that's my gig they're always so tan and just they look look cool. I was embarrassed to say it earlier. I wanted to say it like right off the job. I was like, most lifeguards I've seen are cool looking dudes. Yeah.

Yeah. Cut. Yeah. Tan. Always got a full head of hair. Yeah. Yeah. You never see a bald lifeguard in your life unless they're intentionally shaving it.

Yeah. But not by nature. Yeah. They're the best. Yeah. Lifeguards are so cool. Junior lifeguards, dude, they make those little kids swim like 50 miles. Yeah.

It's like horrifying. It's like buds for eight-year-olds. Yeah. Good. Good. Be tough. Be fast. Aaron, who's your baby of the week?

Just an update. Little Hercules is 5'9 now, so he's normal. That's not bad. That's good. That's what I list myself at it on dating apps i'm five seven and a half you feel taller thank you you're welcome that's really nice it's true uh my babe of the week is uh i saw the movie harriet this weekend and my babe of the week is cynthia arrivo she's good actress yeah she's uh an amazing singer as well and she was on the show um the outsider

on hbo oh cool jason bateman show and she was she was like the best thing on that so um it's really awesome but i do have a minor beef uh with the movie harriet as well um did we need a shot of her peeing in the forest it's a two hour and six minute movie uh it's a very important story uh very amazing i almost feel like i've beefed against this movie as well though before seeing it because i feel like um an american hero such as harriet tubman should be played by an american cynthia revo is british uh but she does a great job and you, you wouldn't know her accents flawless. Um, but yeah, there's a shot of her peeing in the forest and it's, let's say wildly unnecessary cause we,

we kind of get it. Like that's probably what happens. Um, yeah, it's just, it's so not cool, but she's an amazing actress, amazing singer.

Uh, so she is a babe. Dude, can I, I want to tack on to that point that you're saying about, uh, British actors playing all of our heroes. Cause who are,

who are three of the greatest heroes in American history, right? We got Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King, Harriet Tubman, all played by British people, right? Yeah.

But they crush it. Yeah. They crush it. So that's okay. But then I want Tom Arnold to play Winston Churchill. Yeah. Let's right? Yeah. But they crush it. Yeah. They crush it. So that's okay. But then I want Tom Arnold to play Winston Churchill. Dude, yeah. Let's go. Yeah.

You know, pay it back, baby. Yeah. Yeah. Lithgow. Lithgow played him in The Crown. Right. So that's good. He's an American.

That's a bone. Yeah. I think it's Britain still trying to stick it to us. Yeah, right. They're dominating us. Yeah. And they're just a little more, you know. Yeah. They can't do it with tax on tea. Yeah. They. They're dominating us. Yeah. And they're just a little more, you know. Yeah. They can't do

it with tax on tea. Yeah. They gotta do it with acting. The Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. Yeah. Which sounds like a military unit for a theater. Yeah. Yeah. And then they're weaponizing these guys and sending over their gorgeous asses and they're just fucking

taking all the historical parts. Yeah. i always forget his name but he has a big dong cumberbatch oh fosbender fosbender yeah yeah oh dude that guy's got a pipe yeah he's an agent yeah he's trying to infiltrate hey if he's one of the agents i say let him come in i'm like if i find out michael fosbender's an agent i go yeah what do you want i got all the info for you. Yeah, I'm like,

I'm moving to London right now. Yeah. Beast. He hasn't been in much lately. Yeah. They got four avatars coming out. Did you see that? Ugh.

Yeah. That could be a beef of the week too. Yeah, my whole beef about Avatar would be like, it's not that good. That would just be it. You know what I mean it's fine

it's cool to look at the ride apparently at Disney World is really amazing like life changingly amazing yeah I've heard it's the best one but like

yeah I don't need I don't need that story told nine more times I don't need that much Sam Worthington in my life I think I think our quota

is full on him he came out hot I liked him in Terminator Salvation he was kind of badass and a little dangerous but then since then it's just been a dip into like kind of like I don't know bland he's a guy well

what always bothered me too is no matter what no matter what role he was in he had the same haircut yeah the five o'clock shadow on his head yeah how does someone maintain a buzz cut in he had the same haircut. Yeah, that five o'clock shadow on his head. Yeah. It's just like, how does someone maintain a buzz cut in ancient Greece?

Biggest departure from standard haircut gotta be Tom Hanks in Da Vinci Code, right? Yeah, yeah. Where they put him in that straight hair. Did you guys have the same reaction? I do when you saw the trailer, you're like, fuck that! You're like, get that fucking haircut off Tom Hanks right now, dude. Damn it.

Who fucked that up? I didn't know if Tom would be able to bounce back from that, but you can't bet against Hanks. No. He's too good. He's too good. Dude, my babe of the week is the song Sugar by Maroon 5. One of the best pop songs of all time.

Just poppy confection that just gets you moving. It's just froth, dude. It's pure froth. It's all icing. You know what I mean? You're like, where's the substance? And you're like, I don't need substance. I got sugar going through my veins.

It's like just the best empty calories I've ever had. It's just a perfect pop song. Yeah. It's awesome. Pop songs are legit. pop songs and you know it makes me feel sexy it makes me want to dance and just like get into like a little magic Mike get a shirt off yeah just kind of slow yeah just barely ripping dude one time I was just laughing so hard and saying absurd things like a instant messenger conversation and my mom came in and was like why are you laughing so hard and I went

because I'm a man and I ripped my shirt open really yeah that's hilarious I just ripped it open I was like I'm a man

and she loved it what did she do she was like you're crazy yeah my cousin Molly was standing so at the time

she laughed really hard yeah I think Molly listens once in a while yeah thank you for laughing Molly that meant a lot she's very smart it was nice to get her to laugh yeah what a great song really hard. Yeah. I think Molly listens once in a while. Yeah. Thank you for laughing, Molly. That meant a lot.

She's very smart. It was nice to get her to laugh. Yeah, what a great song. I think that song alone just makes Maroon 5 immortal. Chad, what's your legend of the week? So I had a cleaner come today. Nice, dude.

Yeah. I kicked it on the balcony while she cleaned. Yep. Staying, you know, staying safe. But she did, she was, she the balcony while she cleaned. Yep. Staying, you know, staying safe. But she did, she was, she did such a good job. And there's like, there's nothing better than having a clean place.

But like, she was like, she's like, sorry, I'm taking so long. I'm just meticulous. I'm like, no, be meticulous. Yeah, I dig it. Like, and she was just so sweet. And yeah, I just had to give her props. Elizabeth, what up? You did a fire job.

And I gave her a good tip. I think those are the people who deserve statues built up to them. Yeah. Like people who just like care about what they do. Yeah. Yeah. It was so just like, I was like, wow, what an awesome human being. It's inspiring.

Yeah. I talked about him like years ago on the pod, this waiter who worked at Nordstrom's Cafe. Yeah. Every day, he'd be like, hey, how you guys doing? Yeah. You guys doing well? Oh, can I get you guys anything? Yeah.

Every time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just is so awesome. So awesome. Beast. Yeah, so I wanted to give her props.

Thank you, Elizabeth, for being a beast. That's awesome. Aaron, who's your legend of the week? My legend of the week, I just listened to him on WTF. It was out a couple of weeks ago. But Ice-T. Nice, dude. Ice-T is such a badass.

He's such a thoughtful guy. If you haven't heard this episode of WTF with Marc Maron, sorry to promote another podcast on here. I love that pod. But yeah, he's a great interviewer and Ice-T was a great guest. He had a lot of amazing insights and analogies to what's going on today in the world,

both with COVID and the BLM movement. And he's been on the forefront of that. Um, um, and then not, not only that, but he's just an amazing actor too. Um,

you know, new Jack city. Um, I really like surviving the game. Uh, and then, and of course, law and order SVU,

like just what a, what a crazy life this guy's led. He's super into metal and punk. It's like, and then he's a rapper. It's just what a what a crazy life this guy's led he's super into metal and punk it's like and then he's a rapper it's just what what a five tool player he is beast he's a beast my legend of the week is uh the schmole kevin fard nice um great guy he uh he drives me nuts sometimes, but he's such a good human being. Yeah. Yeah. He really is a good person. Like, he just has a... I don't know. So, I don't know.

The Stokers don't know this, but Joe's mom, Big Uncle Joe, Big Hog Joe, great guy as well. His mom's not doing well. She's sick. She's going to be all right, but she's sick. And Joe's been with her in Chicago. And, you know, it's been taxing on him and the family, although they have a really good spirit over there, those Mauricis. You know, I listened to Joe talk to his parents on the phone all the time. And it's like the sweetest conversation you could ever hear. They're just all so loving.

And it's funny because Joe kind of busts his family's balls the same way he does us. Like, he'll just be like, his dad will be like, hey, I had like two donuts the other day. And Joe's like, what are you doing, fat ass? And just like takes it to them like, his dad will be like, hey, I had like two donuts the other day. And Joe's like, what are you doing, fat ass? And just like takes it to them. But his dad cannot be nicer. His mom cannot be nicer. And yeah, so we're thinking about you, Mr. Marusi. But then Kevin, you know, just really sweetly told our text thread.

He's like, hey, let's get some flowers for Joe's mom. And, you know, he asked us all if we want to put our names on it, of course. And it's just a really thoughtful move by him. And he always does stuff like that. Yeah. He's always thinking about people. And, you know, he's a lawyer. He represents a lot of comedians pro bono.

Just does it to help out. And, you know, weaponizes that intensity he's got in the courtroom. Yeah. But, yeah, just a great guy. Yeah. He's my legend of the week. He's a great guy. Yeah.

Chad, what's your legend of the week he's a great guy yeah um chad what's your uh quote of the week my quote of the week comes from mr burns from uh the simpsons excellent dude i was i i was watching i posted on my story yesterday but there's one clip i i just couldn't stop laughing. I was annoying Caroline all day. So I was just laughing all day at this clip where, so Bart's auditioning to be his heir, and he doesn't look. So he gets a boot. Ow!

He says excellent to that. That's hilarious. So this boot... And it barely kicks him. Yeah, this mechanical boot kicks Bart from behind. He's like, ow! And I just love that his response is like, excellent. That's hilarious. And then Milhouse comes out to audition to be his heir,

and he's like, I can offer you nothing but my love. And he's like, I specifically said no geeks. That's hilarious. I love Mr. Burns so much. That's so funny. That's classic. Oh, man. That's good.

That's it. Aaron, who's your legend of the week? Or, sorry, quote of the week. Quote of the week. Quote of the week is from, again, from my dogs, Jimmy World. It's a lyric from their song, Disintegration. It's basically the chorus. It's a song about a relationship falling apart.

And the lyrics are, Wonder why I'm so caught off guard when we kiss. I'd rather live my life in regret than do this. What happens to the love we both knew, we both chased? Hanging on a cigarette. Don't really know what that means. You need me. You burn me.

You'll burn me. Nice. I just think it's like a super poetic way to say something like that, to talk about something falling apart. something like that, to talk about something falling apart. I like that. My quote of the week is, and this is just crazy coincidence that this is all in the news.

I swear I had this written down like two weeks ago. It's from the movie The Postman. And I wanted to do the monologue at the end when he challenges Will Patton to a fight. And he's like, I am from the Gang of Eight. I have every right. But for some reason, that's not on the internet anywhere,

which is just a huge travesty. But there's this one part where one of the little villages that exists in this post-apocalyptic world is getting hunted down by the rude barbarians from the Gang of Eight. And they're going to kill him if they don't tell him where the postman is, Kevin Costner, who was acting like a post guy and making it up like it still existed. But then it becomes something real. and then right before the uh guy who's the head of this little town dies he looks out into the air and the postman and all of his men are watching they can't go in there everybody will get killed and he just goes ride postman ride and it's fucking inspiring and you know it's probably double hits right now but yeah ride postman ride that's probably more how he says it but dude it gets you going good movie too i Mm-hmm. I mean not I

Get why it got ripped, but you gotta you gotta love the big themes. Mm-hmm. Yeah absolutely Dude what's your phrase of the week for gun after it I Specifically said no geeks Did the way they do the animation to he's like going like this I'll just show it to you I specifically said no geeks. Did the way they do the animation too, he's like going like this. I'll just show you too. Dude the way he turns away like you can't even look at him too. He's so disgusting.

He's wearing like a sweater over and he's just sitting back like this. That's hilarious. Aaron what's your phrase of the week for getting after it? I don't know. I'm going to get Del Taco after this. Nice, dude. I just decided. Power move.

Yeah. Strider's got some carrot cake, and I'm like, I want it, but I'm going to lay off it today. Because when you say something like, I look skinny, I mean, that's carrot cake to my dome right there. Yeah. Yeah. I'm feeding on that all day. It's good stuff.

Yeah. Keep feeding it to me, baby. Um, my phrase of the week for getting after it, this girl I've been seeing, she's really sweet. She's the best. She was saying, uh, she was asking about people's boundaries. She's like, what do you like? You know, some people, they just have up such boundaries.

And I was just sitting there and I go, you know, the thing thing is the thing with boundaries is no one has them if you go at them hard enough and then she was like yeah but it's not like your job to like destroy people's boundaries and i was like interesting just one of those moments you're like oh yeah I'm a psychopath yeah I'm a little nutty interesting yeah alright excellent

excellent interesting kicks him that response is so funny he's just like excellent yeah that was hilarious

alright cool is that it that was great. All right. Cool. Is that it? Yeah, we're good. Yeah, it was fun. All right. Later, Stokers. Later, Stokers.

If you need advice These guys are really nice You wanna know What to do what to do and where to go. When you need someone to guide you, there's a happy girl beside you. Go with me. Go with me. Let's go deep.

Go with me. Get in there. Deep. I'm going deep I'm going deep