Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 154 - Strider Joins
Episode Date: September 30, 2020What up stokers?! We got Strider on this week! He talks trash to JT about fantasy football, and then they discuss Orcas, movies, and junior high. Enjoy!Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shi...pping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Right, let's do this.
Let's do it.
Okay, go for it.
Go for it?
Yeah.
You ready?
You ready, bros?
Yes, sir.
Ooh, mama.
Pinch my nipples and start the car.
This is Chad Kroger coming in with the going deep with chad and jt podcast guys before we begin i remind you once again that we are brought
to you by manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs
for making sure that our dongs and our bellens are looking fresh and clean because fall and winter are coming and you need to
make sure you have a nice coat but you need to make sure it looks good so it's like people are
like wow are your pubes gucci you'll be like manscape but close um so use code go deep 20
manscape.com and we are also brought to you by the legends at my bookie thank you my
bookie for sponsoring this episode at my bookie winning season means watching live sports and
betting live sports all season long so dudes get on that money line with the promo code go deep
get your first dollar deposit match dollar for dollar all the way up to one thousand dollars so
you get jump start on your winning season starter have you been uh baby i have not laid down any
tasty action yet this season i'm just because you know how unpredictable it was going to be what's
going to go on with the bubble but yeah i'm learning some stuff and um just really um enjoying
fantasy right now and you know jt's giving me a look right now i can no i was because last night
i was the luckiest i was the luckiest bastard
alive dude i needed harry harrison butker to get less than five points he got three points dude
the chief's offense can't not score touchdowns and he was like he bricked an extra point and
stuff like that he missed his first extra point and then he missed like a 40 yarder going into
the halftime to give him negative points it was hilarious dude that was it was unreal
i mean i was playing our buddy bob so he must have done something bad in a past life to deserve that
bad luck or you know i'm just blessed when it comes to fantasy you know i set myself up for
success my team's not as good as it was last year which was the team that won and dominated
but uh this year yeah my team's not our buddy greg's got the sickest looking squad this year yeah my team's not our buddy Greg's got the sickest
looking squad this year. You went too hard into your
philosophy of value.
Nah.
Unlike my team which is looking
ripe for domination.
Yeah getting dominated? Yeah.
Yeah totally.
It seems like Strider
has a good juju when it comes to
Tennessee.
And I am one of the reasons juju.
It might have run out.
But you're doing well right now, right?
Yeah, I'm in contention right now.
But JT is correct.
Like, my team, now the pars are in trouble, dude.
You're 2-1, I'm 1-2.
How is it that different?
I mean, well, you lost.
You're 1-2?
Oh, dude.
I know, dude.
Our league's tight. It's a 14-man league. I guarantee you in the next 20 years, I'm going. Oh, dude. I know, dude. Our league's tight.
It's a 14-man league.
I guarantee you in the next 20 years, I'm going to win a title.
I guarantee you that.
I guarantee you that.
Because they'll never not have Saquon Barkley, dude.
They just keep going big on Saquon Barkley.
I love Saquon.
I watched him in college.
I'm a huge fan.
I love him, too.
I'll draft him every year.
I do.
I would draft him as well.
But it just sucks when he gets injured.
But not for what I paid for him.
No. You don't love him like I do. I wouldn't spend that much. I do. I would draft him as well. But it just sucks when he gets injured. But not for what I paid for him. No.
You don't love him like I do.
I wouldn't spend that much.
$94.
There's just other value out there that I'm going to take and capitalize on.
Oh, like Fat Net for $35?
Yeah.
You know, everyone's talking like they're geniuses and they know everything.
Monday freaking morning quarter cucks is what I like to call them.
And they're just like, yeah, everyone knew he was going to get waived.
You didn't know shit.
It was market value.
People were bidding at 34.
Got him for 35.
I'll take it.
But you know what?
Robbie said he was going to get waived.
One guy.
There's one guy who's allowed to talk smack.
That's Robbie.
Why?
Wait, we're not allowed to talk smack
that you made a bad pick?
No, you can,
but you can't act like geniuses
where they're like,
oh, 35, this, that.
That was market value.
Robbie didn't touch him.
I didn't know he was going to get cut. I thought
you just picked a player that isn't that great
and you paid too much money for him. A former first round pick?
I had him. A former first round pick?
I've had him before. I've had him too. I got conned. He got hurt.
I had him too and he got hurt. He hurt his hand that year.
I didn't like him in college. When he was in college
I thought he was overrated. Dude, he was one tackle.
That DB went flying over his back,
which I don't even think was like, I thought it was
the awkward physics of the tackle. And then all of a sudden he's like a folk hero i know he was great
in high school and then it was just one play so hard check his college numbers they're not like
all time okay yeah i gotta go back and check why why is robbie able to talk shit robbie was just
saying he was following the jags and he was like oh the writing was on the wall like they drafted
this these a few rookies or whatever and they're like oh the writing was on the wall like they drafted this these a few rookies or
whatever and they're like oh they're gonna go by committee and they're not loving Robinson or uh
loving Robinson's the rookie now who's playing there but he's like oh they're not loving
Fournette there and uh he was right about it I mean they waived him and we drafted a little bit
earlier this year because of COVID and everything so I got burnt with that all the and everyone
out there just so you know disclaimer this was before he was waived when i was paid 35 of course after a player gets waived you wouldn't
pay that much so you know it's a timing thing too but here's the thing i'm sitting at two and one
i'm looking okay uh fournette's also had a monster week he's already you know got better numbers
monster week we're at the hometown buffet.
He's not even that heavy.
He's not that heavy overweight.
That's why it's funny to make fun of him about it.
But he looks like he could go that way.
He's not Eddie Lacey, but, you know.
Yeah, or Bettis.
Yeah, but Bettis.
The bus.
But that was him all the time, too.
It wasn't like he was, the bus just was that size.
I mean, his last year he was like 300 pounds.
Yeah, he's the bus, big boy.
The bus. I love the Jerome Bettis. Great guy, too, yeah. I love him, too. Yeah. Notre mean, his last year he was like 300 pounds. Yeah, he's the boss. Big boy. The boss. I love the Jerome.
Great guy, too. Yeah. I love him, too.
Notre Dame, dude.
Yeah, it's crazy. I think same
dorm room as my brother. Oh, really?
Maybe not. That'd be cool.
Yeah. Great guy.
Alright, well, I wish you luck in the rest of your fantasy
football season. I hope it, you know, just burns
and flames. You don't win another ball game and that
all this shit I've been having to hear
about for a year.
The truth is, Strider has won the most...
I haven't won a championship in a while.
When was the last time you won?
We didn't ask this,
but I was in the Super Bowl two years ago. I lost.
But the last time I won was
probably ten years ago or something.
But I won back-to-back.
And how many have you won Strider?
Three.
Nice.
Yeah.
And what did you win last year?
I've won in every iteration of the league.
He means like snake draft and auction draft.
And 12 men and 14.
So I'm adaptable.
I can change.
You know, these guys.
To all you guys at home sleeping,
listening to this,
Strider's talking about his Hall of Fame credentials.
Sweet dreams.
Cause it's so sweet to dream about.
Just, you know, you could fall asleep listening to that put you in the right
state of mind everything's right in the world right i'm sick a twist here's the thing but i
don't start the smack talking the smack talking comes and i end it and then guess what just win
baby you end it i win you have i have winning. I think you actually lose most of those exchanges, but I think the one...
I definitely win them.
And here's the thing.
It's 13 guys.
It's one guy justified, Robbie, and then 13 other guys just hopping on the train, acting
like they're a bunch of geniuses, coming at the big duck.
And I'm sitting there and I'm shoving them off.
You can't see right now.
Switch over to the YouTube. What are you doing? Shoving them off. You can't see right now. Switch over to the YouTube.
What are you doing?
Shoving guys off, deflecting guys off my shoulders,
coming at me on that thread, dominating them, Chad.
I do like the way you go after Ferraro.
That's funny.
Yeah.
Here's the thing.
You've got to deflect and escalate.
It's a good argumentative strategy when everyone's coming at you about Furnette.
You've got to pick a target.
I didn't want to single out Ferraro,
but it just happened that I was matched
up against him week one.
Whoever it was going to be, that's who it was going to be.
Don't think you're special, Ferraro.
I had to come at him. I go,
look, Ferraro now has more to lose
by everyone talking smack on me, and it was just true.
Then I had to lose by losing
that game. Then some guys saw
that. I got a few good heavy hitters in my corner.
My buddy Ross, even Chris, JT's younger bro, was in my corner.
He goes, I do want you to lose, Strider, but it would be funny if Ferraro loses.
Yeah, my brother's pretty magnanimous.
He plays both sides earnestly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And he was just looking for this would be
the most enjoyment best fodder for the league and he was right and then another friend news
guys did you read the three-way story that i sent you it's incredible and the the the
supplementary videos and photos they're not lewd audience they're just like just setting the scene
setting the scene giving you
some context and i was like it makes it 10 times better i wish the audience could see those me too
yeah maybe we can show them just the paintings but basically our friend was on bumble he moved
to a new town he had a his roommate was really attracted to him and was trying to like hook up
with him a lot and might have accomplished it or something like that.
It sounds like she very much did.
Yeah.
Can I say that?
Yeah, I think she kind of... He described it as her forcing him to do it.
Yeah.
I don't know if her love...
She blocked the door.
Yeah.
But also that's his interpretation of it.
Yeah.
I could also see that very much going
where he was very willing
um but then so he he wanted to meet somebody else so he gets on bumble and i guess he's a
very handsome guy i guess a couple women invited him over and they told him all this up top just
via texting over bumble that they wanted him to come over to do molly paint and then have a three-way amazing and so he agreed he went over there
and uh he had they did molly they'd painted for a while and then they had a three-way and
then during the three-way he said him i guess was one of the girls names really connected
and now they're dating and uh it's just awesome It's one of the best stories I've ever heard.
When my brother showed it to me, I got so excited.
I knew he had to send it to all the text threads.
And I was like, okay, this is a special day.
And then the videos are them all painting together and giggling.
And it looks like just one of the best times you could ever have.
Yeah.
Totally.
It really fired me up.
I thought part of it, it too is that they're
supposed to like make love on top of a canvas with paint on it and like make that a painting
he said that's the plan for round two oh cool they're gonna do molly cover themselves in painting
three-way on the canvas and then see how it comes and actually a lot of the paintings
came out pretty good they look cool yeah i put them up in my room me too i was like these are all really good yeah not bad yeah um but yeah it's
just and it's a testament to my friend he has very good energy i mean he's very handsome and
he has a big dong and um he's big dong yeah yeah he's fat fat fat hog yeah really um yeah yeah but
he's but he he has the best energy and i think people can feel that on him yeah one time we were
in cabo and he met a girl who didn't speak English and he brought her
back to the house.
Yeah.
We all go to sleep.
I wake up at like eight in the morning.
They're talking outside.
They still hadn't had sex.
They just stayed up all night talking to each other.
They don't even speak the same language.
Like he's just like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's pretty special.
He's a cool dude.
Yeah.
He's the best.
Every time I hung with him, he just,
and he's just down for the ride.
Yeah. Whatever it is.
He's just,
it seems like he's just sort of like on the,
the jet ski of life,
just cruising.
Yeah.
Like I,
dude,
well said.
You wouldn't have to put it,
you wouldn't have to convince me much.
If you told me that our buddy's favorite part of that evening where he had a three-way was in fact the arts and crafts
segment oh i believe that he was probably he's like fucking this is nice like yeah and i think
most guys just when they imagine a three-way it's like okay i'm boning and i'm coming and it's fun
and then i'm done and then it's sweet and then i tell my friends and it's like no no no it's the
whole it's the whole piece it's the whole orchestration if even if that's a word of events
starting with the texts him sending those things to molly what are we putting on a little deep
purple he's a classic rock guy a little deep he said she put that on yeah oh that's what i'm
saying but dude guess what and that's when the cosmic connection started totally baby but he
probably told her that in like molly you know what i mean like right they're connecting on
some sort of level i don't know about sub The subliminal. Correct. And then.
The telekinetic.
So that's what I mean.
I mean, guys, everyone, you can't just subscribe to the total male fantasy of the three-way.
Like it's, you know, the most toxic way to look at it and be like, oh, you know, the bill always comes.
You got to do arts and crafts if you want to have a three-way.
But it's like, no, you got to love.
It's not work for him.
It's, it's all part of the pleasure.
Correct.
Yeah.
I mean, he's a romantic.
Yeah.
And then if I come into a three-way, I'm coming in like Johnny Ringo in Tombstone.
I'm too, I'm too coming in too hot.
I'm tense.
He's Doc Holliday.
He's laid back.
He's like, Hey, look, if we shoot, we shoot.
If we don't, we don't.
Yeah.
That's the energy you got to have for that stuff to happen.
All the ladies are coming into a three-way with me, like Kurtsell on tombstone with a shotgun to the river no no it seems like you almost gotta bring
out like a lawn chair and just just hang yeah uh how do you think if you guys had huge dongs how
do you think your personalities would have changed like what do you think would have happened if you
guys had big dinks i I would probably be an asshole.
I probably would be less focused on fantasy, therefore have less championships.
Yeah, I think I would like, yeah, I don't think I would be.
I think having a small tiny dong like I do has made me work on myself in other ways, like know trying to be more charming i was talking about this before the pot about like having social anxiety where like everyone needs to have like
a good time at like a dinner or an outing where i don't know people and i'm like
are you having a nice time like i'm very concerned about however someone else's time is going but
don't be concerned like i don't it's really about me though making sure i was having a good time it's
a weird psychological thing it's tiny dong talk you know tiny dong thoughts but if i
had a big dong i think i'd be able to sit back at dinner and be like i'm gonna get a burger and just
like have a toothpick in my mouth and be like kind of like john favre is in that movie four christmases
at the poker scene like that i don't remember that scene it's like uh vince vaughn has like
social anxiety where he's like beating him at poker and he's like i can lose if you want to
he's like no it's fine and he's like a husband
being forced to hang out with a guy that he doesn't really like
I think that's I love you man oh yeah that's I love you man
fuck yeah that's it
see you make mistakes
like this in fantasy all the time
whoa
dude I think it's good if you had that big dong
that's a good lesson to like pretend to have
a big dong when you're at awkward dinner parties.
If I'm at one, I'll just be like, what if I had a big dong?
I'll just itch it right now and I wouldn't worry about what anybody else was up to.
I also think what would be different in my life if I had a big dong is my first girlfriend probably would have stayed.
And a lot of people are like, size doesn't matter.
It's really about connection
but when we broke up she told me that she told me it's because of your hot she's yeah she's like
you know what matters is it matters what matters is that it matters you're i i really do need to
live a life with someone who has a bigger dick and i was like oh good good i'm happy for you
bye sweetie
that builds character for sure for sure yeah she's doing really well now she dates this guy
uh john carlos stanton baseball player yeah nice oh he's a huge hog yeah he's got a big piece yeah she found what she was
looking for yeah she's doing great yeah he gets hurt a lot though do you think she's probably not
though she's kind of like you know this isn't all i thought it would be you know jt's like
i miss jt's nipples i went to her grandma's funeral and her mom was like you know john carlo just
rails her and i was like oh really that's good yeah and mom was like, you know, Giancarlo just rails her. And I was like, oh, really?
That's good.
And she's like, yeah, he just really hammers it.
And especially since he's been home so much from injury.
It's just been putting in overtime on that puss.
So it was good to hear.
Yeah, that's nice to hear.
Yeah.
It's a tight relationship between her and her mom, too, just letting her know.
Pitching up over salads at lunch or something like that.
How was your night last night? Frigging just, you know yeah catching up over salads at lunch or something like that yeah how was your night last night freaking just you know went to town it's nice dude did you guys see
that article about killer whales doing orchestrated attacks on ships yeah dude that's awesome they're
like pirates what are they looking for booty booty straight. Booty. Straight up booty.
That'd be sick, dude.
Pirate orcas would be freaking so sick.
Yeah, it's gnarly, dude.
Do you think they just saw Blackfish?
That's what I was thinking, too.
I think however their language and consciousness works, I think the message from Blackfish
just got delivered to them.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which makes it one of the best documentaries of all time that it resonated with non-humans.
Yeah.
They're up in Alaska and they're like, dude, have you seen this shit?
And now they're just going to town to humans.
They're pissed.
Which we deserve.
Have you seen Blackfish?
Really sad.
It's whack.
Yeah.
When they say that the dorsal fin flops over when they get sad yeah it seems so obvious
but that's probably why it's true do you think the owner of sea world his dong size has anything to
do with what he's doing yeah but i could justify it both ways know? Could justify him compensating. It always makes me laugh of, like, who sees an orca and then goes,
I'm going to make this fucking thing do tricks for me.
Yeah.
Oh, dude, it's majestic.
You see it?
You've been to Alaska?
The orca's incredible.
Yeah, they're smart.
And it takes that lead.
It's going to flip and shit for me.
How did they know it could do that?
That's a good History is Dank episode.
That is a great episode.
The first killer whale
trainer
yeah
I bet you like
when do you think
they started doing that
like turn of the century
probably
I'm guessing like
1920s or something
yeah
cause that's when
they used to do
they do like you know
the what's the one
about the girl
who's losing her eyes
and she jumps off
the top thing
wild hearts can't be broken
great fucking movie
with the girl from
scent of a woman
yeah
the dancing
and I bet there's something in like cause whenever I'm out in the water and I see dolphins,
I'll paddle closer just to be closer to them.
And I bet the guy, he probably had some kind of, he was like, oh, they're just my buddies.
You know, I'm going to take them home with me, put them in my pool.
And we're just going to do fun stuff together.
I bet that was his mentality.
Because when I see dolphins, I'm kind of just like what's up dudes and just sort of like you know yearning for like you know you
always hear about the dolphins getting sexual and i'm i kind of have that like urge i'm like dude
i'm like presenting myself to you have you seen that youtube video of the guy who uh dated a
dolphin oh yeah yeah it's really creepy yeah he's like this very like just direct and kind of monotone
delivery and he's like so the first time i went into like candy's pool i walked up to her and i
just started petting her and i could feel her getting aroused and then the hairs on her body
started to go up and it was at that point that i moved my hand underneath to where her orifice was
and i pressed my hand something like that and then he's like he's
like and that was the first time we had sex and you're like okay yeah you're like uh you're taking
a lot of leaps here dude right yeah but they had like a 20-year relationship or something like that
i i've watched it once and i'm fudging a lot of the details but did the dolphin die the dolphin
died after like 20 years yeah but i think at that think at that point they were poly and he was dating other dolphins.
Right.
How can you tell when the dolphin's consenting?
Maybe he's like, he creates a system for that.
I think that's the big question.
The hairs are up.
Yeah.
He's a dolphin raper.
I think it's when it releases the blowhole.
You know?
Is that true?
Yeah, you just sort of like, you rub it a little bit and it goes
and you're like all right insertion interesting very interesting but i like the dolphins got to
confirm that otherwise it creeps me out but have you guys seen um have you seen uh my octopus
teacher we kind of talked about this doing poker night the other night so i watched it it's kind of
like the sweet version of that this guy who's like a filmmaker and photographer kind of
going through like a midlife crisis and he's like i just wanted to go back to the tide pools off
like south africa where i was born and just really reconnect dude dives in like 34 degree water with
just with just fucking board shorts on and a in a snorkel he's like i want no scuba tank so i can
really get up close discovers this octopus and films it every day for a year, dude.
Like just really tracks its life
and so it's really interesting
and very little is known about octopuses actually.
But he's kind of like,
you can kind of feel like he's on the spectrum
a little bit to do that
but he really connects with it emotionally
but not in a sexual way
and like loves it
and he doesn't interfere.
Like it gets attacked by sharks
and he's like, fuck man,
like I want to go down there
and scare off the sharks but it's nature i don't i can't get in the way and
i don't i won't spoil anything that happens in the end but it's good it's a very very sweet story
it's on youtube netflix oh netflix cool what show it's called my octopus teacher it's just a dog
right why does he call it his teacher uh you gotta watch and find out him teaches him about life it's it's pretty loose and broad like the lesson that he learns but
it's cool and the footage is amazing right i did you guys watch the social dilemma no i haven't
watched it don't watch 10 minutes it's like the new doc on netflix it's all about how like
you know scientists work around the clock in silicon valley just to control our minds into like we're basically if you don't know what the
product is on an app you're using or something like that you are the product whoa i messed that
up somehow but yeah basically if you don't know what they're selling they're selling you yeah
that's what it is yeah and so they're selling you yeah that's your data yeah and so
they're just the whole thing's just designed to keep us sucked in i know i i've started um
whenever i see like trailers for for docs like that you're just like look how fucked up society
is look at look what they're doing to us i'm just like i'm gonna watch like lion king because like
ignorance is bliss like i'm staying i'm staying in this golden zone of
like dairy queen and sushi if you found out your phone was programmed to make you watch the lion
king oh dude would that would that bother you or would you still be like the lion king so dope
yeah i'd be like dude nice work uh zucker they nailed it. Yeah. Freaking stoked. Not bad. Not bad. Yeah.
But, dude, I've started sleeping with my phone in a separate room because it would be so compulsive.
And my vibrator stopped working.
What are you jamming your butthole with now?
I've been trying to do stuff.
I mean... Maybe a drumstick yeah concert
you went to chicken you know i was thinking like a drumstick like a like a fucking like a jazz
like buddy rich i have tried the ice yeah it's jazz jazz drumsticks would be nice
the ones with the little feathers on the end like a butt plug could be really nice
i i have tried the ice cream cone.
Oh, really? Yeah.
Dairy Queen? You mentioned Dairy Queen.
A dipped cone? Drumstick.
Have you ever tried drumstick?
Yeah, not up my butt, but...
You've got to put it up your butt.
I know, I'm not living.
It's 2020. I've got to take more risks.
I'll do it for you.
Really? Yeah. Let's go.
That's nice.
So your vibrator's not working?
Yeah, my vibrator's not working.
And then the fact that my vibrator's not working and then my phone's in my room, it's like, you know, I need to disconnect.
Yeah.
No, totally.
Dude, I won't even let my phone charge if I have to be away from it.
Really?
I'll just get it to 15% and then I'll grab it back.
Yeah.
And just suck it down until it's a two again and then plug it back in.
Yeah.
I can't be away from it.
It's horrible.
I'm going to watch that doc, but I just, I don't know.
I always want to watch something else more.
I've been watching Pen15.
It's good.
It's so good.
It's too triggering for me.
something else more i've been watching pen 15 it's good it's so good it's too triggering for me i i can't i can't stick with it because it brings back so many like memories of of middle
school where i'm like like oh dude i used to do that you know what i mean it's so accurate that
i felt that way with uh mid 80s mid 90s too and i was like oh this is like my childhood i can't
watch this yeah yeah it's really painfully accurate.
But I love it.
It just cracks me up so hard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And just the way they flip on dimes, too.
You know what I mean?
And they can't be authentic about what they're feeling.
It's, I don't know, they just get it so precisely.
Yeah.
And those actresses are so good.
Like, you really believe they're like 12-year-olds.
Mm-hmm.
And the music's great, because that's about the same time I went to school.
Oh, yeah.
It's the best.
I started watching The Sopranos again last night.
The best.
It gets better every time you watch it.
Yeah.
There's just so many gems in there.
I've got to watch.
I still need to watch The Sopranos.
You've never seen it?
Part of a theory of me is like, people have investments like an IRA or a retirement fund. I'm like, I'm just going to save The Sopranos for when I'm old and just seen it. Part of a theory of me is like, this is like, you know, people have investments like an IRA or a retirement fund.
I'm like, I'm just going to save this at Pernos
for when I'm old and just enjoy it.
Just like 30 years from now and have that to watch.
I think that's cocky.
And really like it.
Tomorrow's never guaranteed, man.
You are right.
Have a good call.
You are right.
That is true.
And especially with this pandemic
and I've had plenty of time to crush something
and I'm looking for something to watch.
I mean, I'm watching The Boys right now,
which I'm loving.
I'm probably going to start watching Pen15 since you guys are all raving about it
and uh i've been watching the vow it's not okay it's okay i heard it moves slow it's too slow
just let me know who fucked who and what's going on yeah who got branded who put on a goat head
yeah that's the cult yeah the nexium sex cult they're all sex cults right at the end of the
day like yeah they do a good job of in this
one of like oh this is actually like sex slaves though right like explicitly oh explicit for sure
for sure like they literally are like give us collateral give us stuff you care about if you
don't have any just make it up just talk shit on like people you care about and send me the videos
and the people do it and then right now you're like why would anyone ever do that and the doc
does a good job of like letting you know how
they set up like stages with like sashes and like they do have a business center that they open up
and it's just it's a classic cult top top to bottom but they they slowly slowly reel you in
and these are obviously the people that are in the deepest right and it's yeah it's just wild
dude i would get pulled into a cult so fast yeah i'm not i think it's a
personality type for sure i would never be i don't think i'm susceptible to a cult you got to wake up
early i'm out fuck that uh i like my bros dude you know they like cut you off from your people
in your life they really suck you in i'm like yeah i'm hanging out with my boys so you got your boys
i don't think you'd get sucked in dude i would get sucked into a cult for like a couple days
and then I'd be over it and I'd bail.
It'd be fun to visit you at the cult.
Yeah, for like those two days.
If you were happy, I'd let you stay.
Yeah, I'll get obsessive.
Yeah, thank you.
I get obsessive about things for like a short period of time
and then I bail.
So that's what would happen to me.
I'd probably get branded and engage in some sort of activity and then i'd be like all right i'm gonna go
you know start reading about uh the civil war hell yeah yeah i think that's sort of the way
my mind works i'm thinking if there's like a civil war cult too probably the reenactment dudes
yeah do you think they bone each other after
two guys just really go off on their own narrative yeah
that'd be an interesting like movie just two southern soldiers who are
in love yeah it's like their own version of cold mountain because they'd be racist but you'd also
feel for them right because they can't really love each other yeah yeah i guess that is cold mount or uh oh yeah cold mountain broke back mountain come on the two of them
yeah that's a good picture right there cold back mountain yeah i love cold mountain it's a good
movie dude yeah so long it's like it's like a novel of a movie like yeah was it a book first
yeah yeah it makes sense he's good dude i. Dude, Philip Seymour in that.
Sorry.
Oh, go ahead.
I was just saying Philip Seymour.
He's always so good.
He's a beast.
The guy brings it.
Man.
I watched The Founder on Friday.
You guys seen that?
I know you've seen it.
I haven't seen it.
It's the McDonald's one, right?
Yeah, dude.
I love it.
Yeah.
The maniac.
Dude, he just goes...
He just fucks over everyone just so hard.
Just ruins people's lives more than he has to just because he just fucks over everyone just so hard just ruins people's lives yeah more than he has to yeah just because he just wants to dominate the guy who ray crock the guy who ended up running
mcdonald's yeah he just stole it from these two like sweeties in california yeah who came up with
like the entire concept of the fast kitchen and stuff like that yeah and it's their name too
yeah it's their last name mcdonald's And he kept it, dude, just to dominate them more?
He kept it, yeah.
He's like, good guys, I did you a favor.
People are going to know your name.
Yeah.
There's a good monologue at the end that he does about how the name is what makes it so powerful.
Yeah.
He's like, McDonald's.
It's got everything.
It's got America.
It's got promise.
And you're like, oh, it kind of does.
Yeah.
It does, yeah.
It's wholesome.
promise and you're like oh it kind of does yeah it does yeah it's like it's wholesome uh and i was so fired up on it because he there you know he they were like establishing mcdonald's and they
were growing the company i was like fired up and i was like i'm gonna so i ordered like 40
mcnuggets and then mcflurry and then he starts getting into where he starts fucking people over
and i was like eating it was like oh
you start throwing up the chicken nuggets i couldn't stop so i was like, oh. You started throwing up the chicken nuggets.
I couldn't stop, so I was like, oh, just crying.
Those nuggets are so dank.
They're so good.
Amazing.
What's your favorite sauce for them, honey?
Buffalo.
I think I just go barbecue.
Barbecue.
I get buffalo barbecue.
Yeah.
They're so dank.
The fries.
In college, dude, I lived next to an In-N-Out and a McDonald's.
They were like right there in San Diego off like Balboa, dude, if you've ever been.
We'd just get an In-N-Out burger and McDonald's fries and just have the best meal ever.
That's perfect.
We should get In-N-Out after this.
I'm down.
That sounds good.
It's a party.
Flying Dutchman.
I might only be able to do fries.
I've been sick, guys.
I got a really bad stomach virus, but I'm on the other end of it now being sick is the worst thing in the world yeah
i would wish it on my worst enemy it's the worst and it creates the most fear in that book like uh
and it's kind of weird like i felt bad like if you're noticing on youtube a lot of times i just
like we naturally gravitate to our seats but i purposely distanced myself from jt which i feel
bad about how smart but it's yeah it's just being smart and i think a lot of us have that with covid of
like you know visiting family or whatever you don't want to make people feel people feel bad
but you just got to be honest about it and be talk about health everyone gets it man if you
don't have your health what do you got it's tough and it's true and but also uh in that book sapiens
dude um he talks about like how you can control people
speaking of mind control and stuff and he's like if you make somebody think that something's
diseased or infested everyone will turn on it so like if you can call someone diseased it even goes
into like you know you can make the lines to like oh how there's like slut shaming culture oh there's
something wrong with that person there's something sick of their head or even mental disorders i watch one flu of the cuckooness
cuckoo's nest i'm all blending this together but if you make someone think that something's wrong
with them and people buy into it sick manipulation that's so interesting like everyone herpes that's
why people herpes don't do that much i mean it sucks and you don't want to have them on your
penis but it's really just the stigma of it. Correct. And why?
Because when you hear someone has it, you're like, oh, they're defective.
You know what I mean?
It ties into racial theories.
Oh, people, they're like grosser or less hygienic than another race or something like that.
It's like, no, that's bullshit.
Everyone's the fucking same.
Right.
I got herpes.
Yeah.
Everyone can get herpes.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Except me in high school.
Wasn't doing a lot of boning no freaking shot let me tell you
but are you being legit because because there was some cuties who were into you
there was there was some cuties who liked you there was but i would shoot myself in the foot
man there was one we all had a crush on the same girl and there was one time where i was hanging
out with my boy dude and we're all hanging out. And JT had the hardest crush, dude.
All right, JT crushed the hardest.
Guys try to say that I crushed the longest, but that might be true.
I don't feel bad for liking someone the most.
You love the most passionately.
Look.
In hindsight, yes, but in high school we would rip on you for it,
but only to protect ourselves.
So I'm sorry for that.
But there was a time when we were hanging out, dude.
It was a two-on-two hangout out my buddies hanging out with uh the other girl and like they ended up dating dude
they all like they kind of branch off like we're having a fun little you know we're like making
food and chilling and they kind of go branch off and hook up and then it's me and the the one girl
and it's like well you know this is the time right like we'll probably if there's gonna be
any time to hook up it's like now but dude i literally could not stop making jokes like couldn't like there was a point where i was like rubbing
her back on the couch and like it came to a point like you could feel it you could feel the energy
of like all right now i need to like not make jokes and like make a move and i couldn't man
and then literally dude she just goes she like out loud like that
disappointed she goes should I just go burn us a mix
and I was like yeah yeah
burn us a mix
that moment on
was in October
not in this time of year
those moments stick with you dude Pen15 was
trudging up a lot of that stuff for me
when I was in 7th grade I dated a beautiful
girl she was like unbelievable like I remember one time I was at a movie theater it was the first time we ever made
out we made out i was so pumped afterwards i left the movie to go get ice cream and you came back
treat yourself yeah and then after the movie we were walking out of my friend's like older brother
was a uh like an usher there and he's like hey are you with that he was like 20 i was like 12
he's like are you with that chick i was like yeah he's like it's awesome and then but my she was so hot she's getting hit on by guys
from like nine different schools one of the guys is my this guy i'm friends with zane who's like
six five i'm like five one i'm like one of the smallest kids in my class she's like five five
zane's six five starts messaging her like why are you with this little dick shrimp
like you should be with me he's like my buddy too i'm like zane why the fuck are you making
my life so difficult yeah i go over to this other guy's house zane comes over my other friend
spencer comes over zane's like flirting with her like in front of me on instant messenger and i
don't know what to do i'm like powerless i just let him do it and I'm like this is unbelievable and then he leaves he leaves his instant messenger on I talk
to her as Zane whoa flirting with her and I tell and then but her and I are on the phone at the
same time so I'm talking to her having a normal conversation while she's talking to Zane on there
and I tell her as Zane to break up with me I don't't know why. Really? Yeah. And then she doesn't do it.
I guess I was testing her.
Interesting.
Whoa.
Wow.
Crazy how like,
dang, dude,
that's gnarly.
My first,
my first kiss
was kind of
traumatic
because
this was like a
really hot girl
and I was like,
whoa,
Hannah's like into me?
Like,
that was so awesome.
Like,
I was like, really, I was like, me like that was so awesome like i was like really in i was like i was fired up how's that is that movie theater and i was like trying to like i was
like i was like all right let's date like you know you kissed me that was awesome and then i've
you know then she like wasn't really responding you're into it whatever and i'm like to my buddy
because like my buddy was there and
he like kissed another girl at the same time at the theater the best and i was like dude what
i was like what's going on i got we we fucking we smooched like what he's like it's part of a bet
oh i was like oh and. And. Dang, dude.
Yeah, it hurt pretty hard.
That's a deep one.
Yeah.
And I was like, and I just got my Razor scooter and I just scooted for like, you know, 10 miles.
That's junior high.
It's junior high.
There's all this weird like Game of Thrones stuff going on.
Yeah.
That's so unnecessarily dark and hurtful.
Yeah.
Junior high, it's the worst, man.
It's the worst time in life.
Everyone's so vulnerable.
It's vicious.
Everyone's got something to protect,
so shields are up at all times.
Yeah.
Bodies are changing.
Everyone's a little ugly.
It's my theory.
If you're hot in junior high,
you're probably going to be like,
it kind of goes back to what you're saying
about the big dick thing.
If you're hot in junior high,
I do think it stunts development of other traits in your personality.
Totally.
Like me, dude, I have horrible acne, super skinny and lanky, of course small dick.
And so I was like, if I'm not funny, dude, because I'm not buff, I'm not strong, I'm not going to be no up,
I'm just going to die.
I'm going to die a virgin.
I'm going to be a loser.
I've got to be funny.
I've got to make jokes.
And I could control
outcomes. If I knew if I was being funny or made jokes, I knew I could understand how other people
were reacting. Oh, they're just laughing. I know what that is. If I'm not being funny, if I'm being
vulnerable, I don't quite know what the other person's doing. And so it's a control thing too.
Yeah. It's just all, it's wild. I was most afraid of not being able to control outcomes. I wanted
to be like funny, good at fighting.
I wanted to, because if I could do both those things, then you couldn't beat me basically.
Totally.
Yeah.
It's such a rarity.
If you're the funniest, coolest guy, but then you'll beat someone's ass.
It's like, whoa, dude.
Like, I wish you were my dad.
Dude, can you fucking just, can you tassel my hair and tell me a story?
Like, that's incredible.
I have a fix for this.
And then you're just like, is it a joke or is it a punch?
All right, joke.
Yeah, joke will work this time.
Exactly.
Yeah, it's crazy.
Do you think that's natural in human beings?
Like, when we reach that age to sort of have that kind of mentality?
Or do you think it's a byproduct of like our schooling system
it is interesting with school that you're stuck together with the same people every day
and you can't escape them like an adult life if you're having a problem where someone's like
bullying you you just don't go to where that person is anymore yeah and you just wash your
hands of it but when you're in junior high you have to face all the discomfort from yesterday
the next day like it's all it's not going anywhere
and i think it is weird that we force people into that situation a little bit where they have to like
coexist in ways that might not make sense yeah like some people are just you just you just get
a bad roll of the dice like you just get a psycho in your class totally who's just changes the
entire dynamic
of everything and then people start laughing at them and thinking they're cool and you become
their favorite punching bag and all of a sudden your life went from being like all right i was
gonna be all right to like oh no this is gonna be like the worst year of my life yeah that's a very
sad version of events but when you're in junior high your head's like ready for that at all times. You're like, that could, if this, this all could flip on a dime.
Totally.
Sucks.
Does that make sense?
Yeah.
But it's so crazy.
But what's the alternative?
You know, like parents got to work,
kids got to go to school.
They got to do something.
They can't just.
That's what I was thinking.
I was like,
if we were in like a tribe or if it was like a,
if we were more of a tribal sort of a society,
it'd be the same shit.
Yeah.
He'd be doing archery and you'd all be stuck together and then
some guy would dominate you because he hit the bullseye totally it's like summer camp yeah
there's still same things happen at summer camp that is true what we were watching it was talking
about how like schooling was just uh like basically the whole reason we invented high
schools is because we didn't want young men running around without anything to do yeah like
we can't put them in jail let's just put them Yeah. Yeah, but we can't have 14 to 19-year-old men running around.
They'll literally terrorize the entire, like...
Totally.
The entire environment.
Yeah.
And, you know, with the educated population, crime rate goes down.
People are smarter.
They're exposed to new ideas and thoughts.
So it all works.
You're taking up their time, and you're trying to put good ideas in their heads to a degree.
Yeah.
I always wish I had more maturity in high school and in college to where I loved learning.
Because I think when I was that age, it was just like, I just wanted to party and I just
wanted to like get tan and, you know, do all that shit. But like, but then when you like literally right when I left college, I was like, damn, I love learning.
You know, it's like before that, I was like, I think it's like school.
They made it just like a burden.
They're like, oh, you got to read Huck Finn.
And you're like, oh, dude, that sucks.
They say youth is wasted on the young.
You know, true, that sucks. They say youth is wasted on the young. For sure.
True to a degree.
That would be funny if you're, like, super into learning as a teen
and then you reach, like, that adolescent kind of, like, mentality
when you're, like, mid-30s,
when you're just starting to light bags of dog shit on fire.
Yeah.
You know?
I mean, to a degree, like, a midlife crisis is that,
but not like quite
that it's like i need like you you love little like matchbox cars when you're a kid then when
you're an adult you're like i'm gonna buy a matchbox car now and drive it around and hopefully
meet someone younger than me yeah and like my kid isn't who i thought it would be it kind of happens
dude i'm terrified to have kids for like that reason,
you know,
if they suck.
Yeah.
They suck.
Yeah.
I guess you probably,
if you probably love them so much,
they wouldn't even be able to tell.
I think you would tell,
but I think the challenge is then to love them as if they didn't suck.
Yeah.
And you probably learn a lot about humanity in that process.
Yeah.
Empty the tank.
Don't die with regret, dude. I'm going to say things like that to my kid all the time yeah look at me you have to empty the tank the
worst thing you can do is die with regret that you didn't do enough get out there he's like four
yeah i'm like go now get in that sandbox dude yeah make something of yourself
i'm gonna and just tell them all the time like dude like there's just things you don't understand
that are way bigger like if they're mean i'm gonna have some good stuff for that
like you have to live with the bad things you do and they will haunt you for the rest of your life
what do you have like an evil like serial killer kid dude that's what i'm saying can you that's
what i'm worried about but can i beat the evil out of them i think you can i think so yeah that's
like what that show mindhunter is kind of about.
Are serial killers born or made?
Interesting question.
They've all been molested.
Yeah, it's a vicious cycle.
They've all been abused at a young age.
I think most are made.
But I think there's just some bad apples where they just have something in their brain where,
even if they watch Care Bears the whole childhood,
they just want to chop someone's head off and wear it.
And if we could tell, if we could brain scan those people
and know which ones were going to turn out that way,
what do we do with them?
Is it execution time?
Send them to the orcas.
Oh.
If the orcas can't fix them.
No, I like it.
Maybe the orcas will, I don't know.
Go live with the orcas.
You know a guy who lived with wolves?
Yeah, maybe send them to live with wolves. go live with the orcas you're a guy who lived with wolves yeah maybe time to live with wolves go live with wolves yeah you respect their culture that's what the
spartans did essentially you know when people were i forget what it's called now but they
you know when you reach like the age of like eight or something you just go you know they're like go
now go live on like minimal food
and just survive out in nature and if you can survive that then you could be a warrior amazing
that's such a hot eight-year-old yeah to be able to do that it's crazy all of them were forced into
it it was like to get them away because they're very like masculine like you need to get away from
your mothers yeah like you're like at you're like with the mother the whole time it's like
you're allowed to be soft until you're seven i think it was yeah and then it's like no now you go out there and
there's like dudes that are like you're gonna throw spears you're gonna fucking go talk to that
wolf then we're gonna go kill someone dude you're like whoa i want my mom yeah no such a bust but
dude they're fucking cool man when they all get dressed up in the armor.
Oh, yeah.
It's cool.
Very cool.
It's cool.
They said the other army used to piss their pants.
They look so coordinated.
Yeah.
Everything was so shiny.
The presentation was so perfect.
The other army would just be Wilton already before the game even started.
And they had impeccable flow, too.
They won the battle before it started.
Like when the L.A. Raiders played the L.A. Rams, the Rams talk about it.
They're like, we lost that game at the buses.
They're like, we saw the Raiders get off the team bus.
And, like, dudes were just, like, wearing leather jackets, fucking chain, like, heads, like, cool haircuts and stuff.
This is like the 70s Raiders?
70s, yeah.
And then, you know, the Rams get off and they're like, you know, buttoned up football team.
Tie, suit, tie, like, you know, team dress code or whatever.
And they're like, we saw those Raiders, man, and we fucking knew it.
The Raiders.
Where are you at on Chris Berman?
Dude, I think he gives himself too much credit for like being like, I created Monday Night Football.
I'm the voice of football.
It's like, he does a good job.
He's cool.
And like, I liked his voice and I do associate him to a degree.
He was annoying the shit out of me on Sunday. He just did one of his like two minute rundown packages, you know, where he just runs through a bunch of highlights and he's like, I liked, I liked his voice and I do associate him to a degree. He was annoying the shit out of me on center.
He just did one of his like two minute rundown packages,
you know,
where he just runs through a bunch of highlights and he's like,
boom,
boom.
Yeah,
dude.
Yeah.
And then the Raiders and he's doing the same jokes he's been doing for like
30 years.
And I was just like,
you know what?
I liked that ESPN still throws you spots,
but it's pretty brutal.
It's yeah.
I'm done.
I'm done.
I feel like,
yeah,
dude,
we were talking, we were kind of texting about this.
The Monday night guys were so annoying the other night.
Just give me Collinsworth and Michaels every night, dude.
Just love those guys' voices, dude.
I could fall asleep to their voices.
But, dude, the guys, look at him rotate his hips.
On this pass, he rotated his hips.
On the sideline, look at him rotate his hips and get a drink of water.
And he's rotating his hips.
I wish he was like, dude, I'm like, it's just so annoying.
And they were calling him Patrick because I guess,
and I found out it was because his mom, Patrick Mahomes' mom got mad.
They were calling him Pat because that's what she calls the dad.
And the commentators literally changed.
Like, hey, we're sorry.
They started calling him Patrick.
But it sounds weird that like Patrick goes back to throw.
I'm like, he's so obviously a guy you call by his last name.
Like he's so, he should, he's 100% just call him Mahomes.
There's some guys you call by their first name, like Peyton Manning he should, he's 100% just call him the Holmes. Yes.
There's some guys you call by their first name,
like Peyton Manning,
call him Peyton.
You can call him Manning too,
but Peyton works,
Eli Manning.
Yep. Just call him Eli.
But there's a lot of guys you,
you don't call Drew Brees,
Drew,
you call him Brees.
Correct.
And then call it,
you don't call him Tom,
you call him Brady.
Yeah.
It's kind of weird.
Like Brady's the best,
but he still goes by his last name.
Maybe it's by sport too.
Cause like,
then you hear about basketball and it's like all the greats are like you know there's michael
or mj there's shack kobe magic you become one name yeah everyone's one name but some guys are
first name guys some guys are last name guys but patrick mahomes is clearly mahomes yeah yeah it's
a no-brainer it's just bad commentary he's so fucking good dude that little underhand underhand
pass that he did to his fullback to score.
Dude, he had one where he jumped in the air, faked the throw,
then just scurried the other way.
And he runs funny.
Yeah, he does.
He runs high on his butt.
And he falls awkwardly, too.
Every time he goes down, it looks like a bunch of pieces stacking up on top of him,
like chess pieces falling down.
But it's so easy for him.
It's crazy.
He just runs and just throws a quick little little 40 yard dart like that in the air.
He's just having fun.
Third and 25 for him is like crazy.
Yeah.
Dude, you're like, you watch him.
You're like, they're going to get this.
They're going to get it.
He's the best I've ever seen.
Lamar Jackson, man.
I like Lamar Jackson, man.
I hope he, he'll play play better he'll play better games yeah
I just don't know if he'll ever be able to chuck it well enough no he doesn't have the touch he
runs oh my dude he's so fat dude it's unreal dude when he just like is in the pocket and there's two
guys on him and then all of a sudden he's just like five yards away from them you're like how
did he just do that he disappears it's insane and when he turns that corner dude i know beautiful okay and we are also
letting you know that we are once again brought to you by manscape manscape thank you so much
for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dongs are looking
fresh and clean because 2020 is nuts but that doesn't mean you
should disregard your beautiful nuts manscaped is on a mission to take care of your twins with
the below the waist grooming and hygiene products and they just released their products in the uk
canada and australia you can put your nuts on the freaking barbie you can get sweet and sour nuts and you can get nuts and chips that's for uk china australia
nice have you guys manscaped recently i've been letting things go i need i actually need to
shave my head too dude your hair grew back fast yeah i'm thinking about just cutting it back all
the way down again yeah you got yeah you got a powerful mane yeah it's nice some serious gasoline in there
there is a lot of it's a lot of volume this hair goes to 11 it's a lot a lot of follicles how long
do you think your hair would have to get before it started to come down very long the dude in
college i like got it out pretty pretty long i remember yeah it was still just poof it just
poofs dude and he did the uh i did
a jet i did a real padawan learner's braid when i finally cut it it was sick yeah well actually
mac and cheese with the chick when i had that dude so nice didn't she say your hair smell that was a
different time but yeah i was making out this one girl in college and um uh her like nose was by my hair at one point she goes
your hair smells like chicken she's like oh wasn't she smelling for a while let's go back to the
party yeah like we'd be kissing she'd be like like what's going on i'm trying to think in my head
like am i doing this wrong and she's trying to like, hold on, hold on. Let me smell your hair.
She smells it.
Oh, my God.
It smells like chicken.
Let's go back to the party.
All right.
Why did your hair smell like chicken?
It's a great question.
It had not been washed in a while.
Maybe that's just my scent.
I do not know.
Yeah, my girlfriend says I smell like a baby.
And my voice cracked right when I said that. That's kind of nice.
Yeah, that's kind of nice.
Yeah.
What do babies smell like? Kind and my voice cracked that's kind of nice yeah that's kind of nice yeah what do babies smell like kind of fresh right yeah i mean i do use dial spring water body wash there it is i do use pantene pro v and i do use manscaped crop reviver ball toner
yep it's got to be the ball toner yeah because the crop care kit includes the crop preserver
ball deodorant the name speaks for itself the the Crop Cleanser Body Wash, a full body wash that you can also use on your hair.
That's what I've been using.
Sorry, guys.
I've been using the Crop Cleanser Body Wash and the Crop Mop Ball Wipes.
I mean, guys, you can just use ball stuff on your whole body because of Manscaped.
What other company is doing that?
I mean, they come in balls first.
That's how they think.
That's their motto, balls first.
We think about nuts, and then we paint the rest of the picture.
And they have the Lawn Mower 3.0 trimmer, which offers a replaceable ceramic blade
so you don't cut your nuts.
Advanced skin-safe technology.
It's the best trimmer for your butt, balls, and body.
Oh, they had your butt in there.
Yeah, dude, you could trim your ass you can trim your gooch or your perineum which is your gooch
your grundle your grundle these formulations are all vegan cruelty free dye free sulfate free and
paraben paraben free i don't know what that word is so you know your manhood is in good hands
get 20 off and free shipping at manscaped.com
with the code GODEEP20.
That's 20% off plus free shipping
with the code GODEEP20.
Add some swag to your saggy bag.
I gotta pee real quick.
Do it, dog.
Hell yeah.
Maybe I'll go too just to be
safe if we get rolling.
I'll talk about the UFC fights.
A beast.
Guys, Saturday night, I'm sick as a dog,
but there's a lot of great TV on.
I think it was the Heat Celtics.
Yeah, I think so.
Was it Heat Celtics on Saturday night,
or was it Lakers Nuggets
Well the Heat I think they're going to beat
The Lakers I'm taking the Heat in six
Games I think they have the best
Team chemistry I've ever
Seen I well the Warriors
Had really good team chemistry too
Especially before Durant got there although
They were better with Durant obviously
But just the way they move the ball
All the way I don't think I've ever seen a team
get more baskets off cuts than the Heat.
And every player is good
and fits this perfectly fitted role
with the rest of the team.
And I just think their psychology right now is so strong.
Like Jimmy Butler, junior college,
then to Marquette.
I think no one really wanted him growing up as a kid.
And then he's the 30th pick in the draft, gets bounced around from team to team,
and now he's found the perfect culture for his personality.
I didn't like him.
I thought he seemed like a jerk.
But now I'm like, no, he was just looking for his family.
And he's got him now with Pat Riley in the heat.
Pat Riley is unbelievable.
I mean, he was like a four-sport all-state athlete in high school.
I think he played multiple sports at Kentucky.
He played on that Adolph Rep team that went to the national championship
and lost to West Texas, the team that was the first team to start all African-American players.
Then he goes to the NBA, and he's a rock-solid NBA player.
Then he is a coach.
He wins, like, what, five titles with the Lakers.
Then he gets to the finals with the Knicks.
And then he comes back, and he wins a title with the Lakers. Then he gets the finals with the Knicks and then he comes back and he wins a
title with the heat.
It's unbelievable.
And now he's the GM and he just crushes it every year.
First he crushed it getting Bosch and LeBron to come join D Wade.
And then he crushed it by building this team of like,
nobody's into like this unbelievable unit.
And I love LeBron.
I don't want to see him lose another title.
I'll feel bad if he's three and seven in the finals, cause he's just going to be hearing about that until the end of his days.
But I don't know.
I mean, the Lakers have the two best players in the series, but everybody else, I go Heat.
And I was telling Strider this, too.
He hasn't watched the Heat play yet, but I'm telling you, I think this Heat team is going to take it to him.
And then there was the fights.
Israel Adesanya just taking Paul Acosta's head off.
That was incredible.
Although, I have to say, I was really focused on his right breast.
Israel Adesanya.
It looked like he had steroid boob coming in.
But he's a skinny guy.
But, you know, it can be misleading with that stuff.
I'm not casting judgment.
It could be a million different things.
But that's traditionally what I would think if I saw someone's chest was doing that i would think that they'd been uh on the on the steroids but um
maybe not but dude oh my god he's an incredible fighter he's dazzling in there love hearing you
talk about the fights that's my favorite thing to do is just go watch because i don't watch
fighting otherwise but when you when you buy the fights and it's not covet time and i cruise over
there it's great you got all the info it's the best it and I cruise over there, it's great. You got all the info.
It's the best.
It's fun.
I go put it on mute.
Let my dog rip.
Let's go.
I do a lot of prep.
I do a lot of prep.
Yeah.
I watch all the vlogs.
Yeah.
You know it all.
Dude, you really do.
You're like, this guy's this guy.
He does this.
And then his dad wrestled a bear and then blah, blah, blah.
And his other guy did some shit.
Whose dad passed away, actually.
All but not. COVID? Yep. It's crazy yep it's crazy he's a legend too it's crazy how some people are like it doesn't exist i don't know anyone who has it it's like not two million people i think have died
in the world from it i think are there still people who don't know anyone who's had it
there might be that's unbelievable i know so many people who have had it yeah i know quite a few
people who have had it all my dad dad's friends in Montana have had it.
My dad didn't tell me because he knew I'd freak out.
Yeah.
I get there.
We're just like hanging out with one of his buddies.
I'm actually nervous to be close to the guy because I'm worried about getting COVID.
Yeah.
And then the guy's like, oh, I already had it.
I was like, you already had it?
He's like, yeah.
And then my dad's other buddy comes over like a day later.
He's like, yeah, I had COVID too.
And I'm just looking at my dad.
I'm like, what?
It's crazy.
You're really, you're pushing it father yeah my i went to see my dad and uh and he's 73 so i was extra
caught like i got tested before i went and i flew but i was so nervous you know because i'm just
near my dad and like we're in the car and i would wear a mask in the car and he's he's basically
calling me a pussy he's like
but you know i mean i think i would be the same way if i were his age because i'm you know just
kind of macho and you're like it's not gonna get me dude and i'm just like no i'm like i'm like no
i'm not that scared of like i just don't want to spread it he's like but you got tested i'm like
yeah but he never know what these things are like can i just wear my mask yeah, but you never know with these things. They're like, can I just wear my mask? Yeah. Like, I don't know.
It's like better safe than sorry.
But it is funny with like, I found that a lot of people,
when older people seem to be a little bit more like defiant.
I think so.
Because they're just like, they're just sort of viewed as like the flu kind of.
It's not going to get me.
And they're so set in their ways too.
Yeah, yeah.
My dad, he's 63 now he's gonna
be 64 he's got you know pancreatic cancer he tried to go golfing when it was 52 degrees inhaling
yeah and we're driving to the golf course and it's like a just torn array and i'm like what
are we doing and then we get there and he's like he's like oh it'll be it'll be fine they're gonna
let us out there they blow the bell they hit the bell to tell everybody to get off the course my dad's like still like no
maybe they'll bring us back on though i'm like is this how bad you don't want to hang out with me
yeah so you're literally gonna go out there with your bad health and all this shit going on and
just just fight through it yeah it was pretty incredible yeah i think it's
something to with dads that they just like they don't want you to worry about them you know they're
like like they're like i'll be fine like you need to worry about yourself and i'm like i'm like yeah
but i just i want to like spread it like i don't know no that's true if i ever asked my dad if i
ever said to my dad i'm worried about you he's like
i'm fine yeah okay yeah it was it was interesting being sick this like because i've never been too
tired to talk to people like someone would call me and they'd be like hey how you doing i'd be like
i'm good man and they'd be like what are you up to i'm like i'm just hanging you know what dude
i think i gotta go like i've never been tired before, but I was all weekend and it made me just understand my dad better.
Yeah.
However,
cause I've called him so many times and he's just been like,
yeah,
JT,
I'm just going to have to call you later.
It was weird when he got sick.
Cause like when,
when you first started feeling sick,
you're,
you were like,
I think it's psychological.
And I was like, yeah, probably like, think it's psychological and i was like yeah
probably like because it's so weird for someone to get something other than covet in this time
right like yeah it's not covet i'm like there are other viruses out there like yeah like i don't i
don't think so dude it's funny though because yeah we were like we're writing that day yeah uh with
the churnins the guys we're
doing the Hulu show with.
And I was just feeling shitty the whole day.
I had a headache.
But I felt like that when we were writing on that other project.
And so I thought it was maybe just like, I told Chad, I was like, maybe I just get depressed
when I have to work hard.
And then so at the end of the day, I'm like, no, I'm just, I'm like, it's psychological.
I'm just a pussy.
And then I get to the urgent care and they're like, your fever's 102 degrees.
And I was like, okay, I'm sick.
But it was, yeah, it sucks being sick. it's the worst thing in the world yeah the depression is the worst i think oh yeah it just is the worst thing ever i told i never understood why people
are like oh i'll feel better tomorrow you know when people always say that they're like no matter
how sick they are like how you feeling they're like oh i'll be better tomorrow you have to think
that yeah i thought that every day i didn't get better for like five or six days,
but every day I was like,
oh,
tomorrow I'll be perfect.
Yeah.
And then you wake up the next day and you're like,
fuck.
Dude.
Yeah.
It sucks so bad.
You're like,
why am I still sick?
When I had the flu,
I remember like,
it was two days,
two days in a row.
I was like,
all right,
that's fine.
And then the third day when I still wasn't better,
I was like,
motherfucker.
Yeah.
This is so bad.
You're just like enough.
Yeah.
I'm done. Yeah done yeah man that's like
when i had the flu when we were working uh last year i was so like i just hate missing work
so i would just try to come in and i'd just be like and i didn't it's what's funny is like before
like covid i didn't realize that the flu like you know it's like an epidemic that happens every year
or pandemic i guess yeah so i was just like you know i sort of viewed the flu as like you know it's like it's just
like a worse thing than the cold i didn't really like think too too hard about how contagious it
is and it's you know you don't want to spread it blah blah but i would just come into work and i'd
be like i'd be like guys i think i'm good and they'd look at me they're like you're not good
i'm like oh yeah we'd see you you'd be like they're like, you're not good. I'm like, oh, shit. We'd see you. You'd be like.
Yeah, we'd see you come in.
We'd just be like, huh?
And then you'd be like, what's up, dudes?
How you guys doing?
We're like, how you doing?
You're like, I'm good.
Yeah, yeah.
You'd cough a little bit.
We'd be like, whoa.
And then you're like, I think I'm ready to go.
Yeah.
But you were really nice, though, because the first day you came in, no one even said
anything to you.
You just kind of looked around at the room, and you were like, guys, I think I'm going
to go home.
And we were like, yeah yeah do you get some rest
yeah it sucks
you do want to be around people when you're sick too
it sucks being alone when you're sick
yeah I just hate feeling like
I start to feel kind of like
worthless
I can't do anything
I can't eat anything it sucks i did i did have that
thought that where i was like i was like when i was like sick and you know my hypochondria ran
away with me was like what if you just die from this thing then i was like how would i feel about
my life and i actually was like i feel pretty good yeah i was thinking about i know we probably
might get to questions but i was thinking about it because i was listening to this this physicist
he's talking about he's a futurist too he's talking about how like eventually we'll get to the place where like
he's like our grandkids will probably get to a place where once they get to 30 they can just stay
30 you know like well our technology on aging will be so advanced that you can just
look like you're 30 till lucky shit and he's like basically yeah which is like damn what we're like right there
dude um but anyways uh but he's basically like you know humans will be pretty close to immortality
i think unless you get hit by a bus um but i was thinking like would you want mortality
immortality i like the option yeah yeah i would. I would. That's hilarious. I would.
It'd be a nice option.
I don't know, man.
What about, who's the dude from, speaking of the 300, the Spartans?
May you live forever.
Yeah.
It's like you said, if you've got deep regrets, you've got to live with them forever.
I think you'd have to live a nice life.
A lot of people have to atone for it, though.
True.
And still have some fun on the back end.
Yeah.
I just don't want to die but i understand
it's gonna happen i'm not thrilled about it i'm very i'm not very scared i'm scared but
hey it happens to the best of us i think i did a pretty good job i'll see you guys out there
dude i love sleeping in so much that i'm like when i die i'm just i'm sleeping in forever dude
it's pretty tight yeah that's what i was thinking i was like you know because like the scientist was
like guys like would you want immortality and the guy's like I was thinking. I was like, you know, because the scientist was like,
the guy's like, would you want immortality?
And the guy's like, yeah, for sure.
And I was like, well, death is a natural part of life.
And it's like, what if the other side is so sick that you decide to become immortal and eventually die?
You spend like a thousand years on Earth,
and then you get to the other side, and you're like, fuck, dude. It dude it's true but for me an egg in the hand is worth like two in the bush
yeah i'm like this life is pretty sweet yeah i was like i don't know if it could get sweeter
but maybe that's i don't know maybe that's cynical i don't know it's interesting all right should we
do some questions this party this guy's got one of the all-time names, Blaze DeSaltels.
Blaze DeSaltels.
Great name.
What up, Chad and JT and any other stokers in the studio?
My name is Blaze, said like Blaze, and I got a pretty serious question that's been giving me a lot of anxiety lately.
I'm going to school right now, sophomore and undergrad, and I'm hoping to become an occupational therapist and one day move to a dank city, keeping it low on
the radar, to spend the rest of my days
helping people's health, shredding gnar,
and hopefully settling down with a wife and some stoker
kids, who I will
in turn teach how to nose-ride chelate footers.
This guy's awesome.
The only problem is that the journey to getting
there is difficult right now.
Since the prerequisites for OR are pretty science-heavy,
I decided to go to a science-based college. The teachers are pretty nice and helpful. The problem
is the students. I just can't vibe with anyone here. The students range from being either
incredibly studious, leaving no time for chilling or partying, to students who just want to get
blacked out every minute of the day. I lie somewhere in the middle. I really want to focus
on doing good in school so that I can apply to a good OT school, but I also make sure to leave
time to do fun things
like watching hilarious Austin Power clips,
playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater,
and hitting some surf sessions at the pier.
I just feel totally alone here.
To give an example of how aggro the kids are here,
I wore this dank mask I had custom made
that has a picture of Tom Cruise riding a motorcycle
from one of the Mission Impossible movies,
and on top of his head is the word sick.
Lots of people started bashing on Mission Impossible movies
in Tom Cruise's career
and questioned my intelligence for wearing such a cringy mask wow what a what
a hateful bunch this really lowered my stoke i had a lot of friends in high school and lived through
all of my most fun adventures most adventurous events in that time this sudden change to stark
loneliness and stoke chasing by myself has really hit me hard the past year and a half especially
since all my boys from high school
have made really dank new friends.
I'm also in honors college
and have to attend a lot of extra events
with really uptight, smart kids
and have not much time to go see old friends
and still live where I am.
Sorry for the long email.
If you guys could give me some advice
on how to navigate keeping the stoke tanks
full in times of isolation,
I'd really appreciate it.
Could you also send a quick little email back
if you guys answer?
I watch almost every episode, but sometimes I forget to finish all the way come on dude you
gotta finish bro yeah forget to finish dude what do you mean you're a science college smart kid
you forget dude stick it out dude get him dude let's go dude um yeah off, these kids at the school, they don't like Tom Cruise.
I don't like them.
And I, it sounds like you're on a good path.
You know, you, you know what you want to do.
You're making time for your studies and you're taking time to have fun and it's not too detrimental
to like your health and it's not getting in the way of, of your progress.
It's like you're, you're really, you're really,'re really fostering a lot of, you're just sort of, you're really developing yourself in
a nice way, it sounds like, and sort of learning to spend that time alone. And
so I would say stay on the path you're on. I can understand that, you know, the loneliness that you're feeling. Um, so, um, I don't know. I mean, I guess,
you know, you could try to view this time as, uh, just the time to get in touch with yourself
and really learn about yourself and achieve your goals and, and do what you want to do.
But, yeah, I'd say, you know, do you sound like a legend, dude?
Keep crushing it.
And, you know, some cool friends will come along the way.
I wouldn't try to force it with these knobs who don't like Tom Cruise.
Just keep, you know, keep doing you, dude.
You're on a good path.
For sure. Stratter. Yeah, dude. like tom cruise just keep you know keep doing you dude you're on a good path for sure stratter
yeah dude um just basically take your car pull out over a freeway dude just watch that traffic
you know just know that you're part of this world dude blast some good tunes dude just you know
throw your own parties dude sometimes you just got to do that i've been uh when i went to my
school the first semester i was like
this sucks dude i'm not getting along with anyone i got no friends here all my best bros are from
high school dude they're at their colleges doing their things i would just have to boost my own
stoke sometimes dude so it sounds like you have interest like tony hawk and double down on those
and just know that this isn't forever dude you know you're gonna get through school and then
your high school boys that's a tough one that stuck out to me that they're making new friends and that's gonna be
tough to watch but you know they're having a good time be happy for them and uh you know they'll
include you holiday breaks and whatever and you know if they're your real friends they're gonna
let you hang out so it's all good dude just get through it and in the meantime you know
revisit some old bands they've been listening to a lot of LCD sound system lately. Put that on, dude. Buy yourself
a subwoofer in your car, dude, and just
freaking chill in there, dude. Text.
That sounds great.
Yeah, and if they're making more friends at college,
those are going to be your friends when you go to visit, so
you're going to be pumped on having that social network
at these different places.
And I think, yeah, I think what Chad said,
dude, just get really into, like, find the stuff that
excites you. Like, for me, it was books and movies.
And then just pour a lot of your time into that.
And then all you need is just a couple buddies.
Like I think, you know, if you go out like once every two weeks, that might be your fill.
So you just get a couple guys who they might not be your best friends, but you like them enough.
And then you go have fun with them when you need that social time.
But you'll figure out a way to to to adapt survive and thrive if it
wasn't covet i'd say take an improv class everyone in an improv class is looking to hang out and be
friends and like do something yeah and i think everyone should take at least one improv class
but it's fucking covet right now so it's a bust i wonder if they're doing zoom improv classes
don't do that that's gotta be brutal yeah how do you edit a scene? They are. God only
knows. You just got to let it
go. Wait till that Zoom burns out.
What's up, patriarchs of positivity? I come to you
with a real tough sitch. I've been dating my awesome
girlfriend for almost two years, and I don't see that
changing anytime soon. However, there's a major
elephant in the room. Well, two, if you consider
them separate entities. Her parents.
Her parents are the biggest schmoles I've ever dealt with. They post disparaging What? vaccinated grandchildren while i'm more of a chiller who doesn't know exactly who doesn't exactly know what i want in life just yet i know the appearance thing would be an easy fix but i'm
rocking some lush flow and i refuse to cut it just to cave to some unpleasant human's demands any
advice on handling unbookable schmoles i really don't want every holiday family event social media
post for the foreseeable future ruined by them sincerely a stoke lord in training p.s i think all the stokers
need more chris parr in our lives nice that's cool yeah my brother's a beast yeah dude their
parents need to come around realize look their daughter's happiness matters dude you make her
their daughter happy dude you're committed that's chill i mean the marriage thing sounds like they're kind of traditional and
they want that i get it dude you just need to sit down that dad look him in the eye and say
your daughter loves me more than you now dude sorry bro get out of the way
oh by the way you burnt the steaks i'm cooking next time
that's in brokeback mountain you know and hathaway's dad's like a kind of a big dick swinging dude.
And he's letting a kid watch turkey.
And he's like, sit your fat ass down before I kick it.
And then he gets up and starts cutting his own turkey.
You got to have a moment like that with her dad.
Yep.
Sit your fat ass unvaccinated butt down, sir.
You're in my house. And you will play by my rules.
I love that conversation.
He's like, you will marry her and you will have nice unvaccinated children.
They're going to get measles and polio and it's going to be fantastic.
Like unvaccinated kids.
I like that dad's like cool about it.
Your kids are going to get measles.
They're going to be unvaccinated. They're going to get like cool about it your kids are gonna get measles they're gonna be unvaccinated they're gonna get polio and it's gonna be great yeah you're gonna love it
all right are they unvaccinated good good um yeah that's a tough one dude i mean
when the when the parents suck i mean i i don't that's why God invented Bloody Marys right
yeah
just go over there that's your day of the week where you just house a couple
and you just get through it
yeah I mean I would even try
to go so far as to like
you know they're talking shit talk shit back
you know they're like
nice mullet
whatever his name is
and he'd be like yeah nice go nice goatee, fucking Rick.
See how they respond to that.
I think that works nice.
Yeah.
It's crazy they're doing it on social media.
That is bizarre.
That's insane.
I mean, you could troll them, too.
You could be like, can't wait to have vaccinated children.
I wonder if the tone is like, are they being like, you look like shit?
Or are they more like, oh, there's Billy wearing that stupid jacket again. Yeah, I feel like it's like shit or are they more like oh there's billy
wearing that stupid jacket again yeah i feel like it's like that because the one with the long hair
is i've seen that from a lot of oc dads where they're just like you know and uh roger over here
isn't much of an athlete they're always like yeah and you're like okay was that necessary yeah
little jabs little condescending jabs i think the best advice though is have the boundaries in your
own relationship don't let that toxic stress
of the parents
affect you
and your freaking dank GF.
Make sure you guys
set healthy boundaries around it.
You know, don't pressure her.
Don't be like,
hey, can you talk
to your parents for me?
No, no, no, no, no.
Set the boundary.
You guys make sure
that you're solid, you two.
And then just go
dominate that dad, dude.
Yeah.
Ask to borrow
one of your girlfriend's
hair ties at dinner.
Hey, babe, can I borrow your hair tie from my ponytail? And just fucking look at that dad. Yeah. Ask to borrow one of your girlfriend's hair ties at dinner. Hey, babe, can I borrow your hair tie for my ponytail?
I just fucking look at the dad.
Oh, thanks.
Appreciate that.
And you got to just keep amping it.
Yeah.
Honey, toss me some of that nail polish.
I think I'm going to do my pinky real quick.
Then you throw a foot up on the table.
Hey, guys, do you want to take a family photo after this?
And do you mind
taking it from my right side? Because that's my good side.
And show up
goth for the family photo. Smart.
Yeah, dude. Just be
fully goth.
Stud necklace. Get a Prince
Albert, dude. Really double down.
Get a Prince Albert and take your cock out at dinner.
Limp Bizkit t-shirt.
White studded necklace. Layer your cock out at dinner. Limp Bizkit t-shirt. White studded necklace.
Layer cock out on the table.
Straighten your hair and put some blue frosted tips on it.
Wear a Celt.
Be like one of those Scottish punks from like the 80s, you know?
And just, you can also, if the dad's like talking shit on your appearance on social media,
just be like, let's just keep calling him Rick.
Just be like, what the fuck, Rick?
Yeah.
Hey, Rick, what the fuck? Yeah. Like fuck yeah like what's up dude do you have a problem
because you keep talking about you know how i wear um frayed corduroys
and i don't know what your problem is because i look good and you know you get your bowling
shirt and you tuck it in and you do the whole thing. Or what are the, what are the, I don't know.
Those like Matt Nass shirts, like those Charlie Sheen things.
Yeah.
You should play Slipknot at Christmas.
And there's one of my favorite songs from one of their live albums.
The lead singer introduces the song and he's like, this is a song about a girl in a box.
Just talk to the dad about that. that hey you want to hear my favorite song
what's up boys first i want to say i love the pod definitely gets me stoked however my anxiety about dating has been killing my stoke altogether. I've been
canceling dates last minute because I straight up panic right before. When I went on dates in
the past, I avoid anything food related because I'm afraid to yak in front of a girl. I need your
help boys. How do I get my stoke back so I can reach my full potential? Dude, first off, if you
bogue, that's not the end of the day. You just bounce back from that. Steaming Willie Beeman
style. He throws up all the time when he's in the huddle. Then he goes out there and he checks a 40-yard touchdown.
I think all that stuff, you can make lemonade out of it.
So don't worry about Boken.
And then also, if you have a panic attack, that's fine.
Just go on the date after the panic attack.
That's what I would do.
You just have the panic attack and then you just go do the thing anyways.
Dude, I think the mind is a very powerful thing.
The Exorcist.
Terrified of it for years
probably two decades terrified of it then i watched it and of course i was older then so a
little more mature but what my mind was envisioning was way worse than what actually was happening so
whatever you're really panicked about on that date when you go on the date it's not gonna be
that bad right especially with it sounds like the stress and anxiety level that you've got, which is, you know, it's a high end.
And I have it, you know, pretty high end, too.
I hate it.
I was so afraid of being denied in high school.
That's part of why I made jokes.
I mean, if I make jokes, then no girl can deny me because I've joked my way out of it.
So I was never serious about it, right?
Ha, ha, ha.
You know?
And then, so, basically, dude, just, you got to go gotta go you gotta face the music step into the
batter's box take a swing you're gonna strike out but that's okay baby if you bat 300 you're in all
you're in the hall of fame yeah i would say um you know you're nervous about it because you care
and uh you know a lot of times when for things a lot of times, for things that I'm very nervous about, be it a performance, something along those lines, you know, a date.
Oftentimes, you know, if the anxiety is super bad and I'm super worried about it, then when you go and do it, it's such a relief because it's not as bad as you thought it would be.
because it's not as bad as you thought it would be.
And as long as you just keep repeating that,
keep repeating that,
and then your comfortability will grow,
and you'll be so proud of yourself for going through with it
and just getting through the date.
My fucking boys, dude.
It's great when it cracks.
It's fucking cute, dude.
Yeah, through the fucking date, dude.
It's nice when it cracks, bro.
Get through the date.
It's nice.
And then someday soon,
you'll be the nice nice unvaccinated girl.
And sorry, I can't stop thinking about it.
It's so funny.
But no, I think in that last comment, I think he was the one who didn't care about vaccination,
not the dad.
No, the dad.
Did he say that about the dad?
Yeah.
Okay.
And the mom too.
We left the mom off the hook, but the mom, he didn't even consider them separate entities.
I guess they're really attached at the hip.
Yeah.
But sorry, Chad.
Yeah.
Sorry to interrupt you with that comment.
But, yeah, you know, I would just say step into the unknown, you know, embrace it.
And just be like, you know, this is life.
I'm experiencing life.
I'm saying yes to life.
That's one of the most fun things you can do. Just view life as an adventure, you know, this is life. I'm experiencing life. I'm saying yes to life. That's one of the most fun things you can do.
Just view life as an adventure, you know.
And also, when you see the girl, think of her as like your best friend, you know.
That's sort of what they say when you look into the camera and you're speaking to the camera.
You're speaking to the camera, you know.
Think of it, that's like your best friend.
And then instantly you have that comfortability there and the mind can play that.
That's crazy. Yeah. That's crazy.
Yeah.
That's unbelievable.
Aaron, can you cut to me real quick?
Hey dude.
It's great.
It's nice.
You know what?
You tapped into something too of like, maybe part of his stress is coming because he's
creating unrealistic stakes with the outcome of the day.
It's like, you're just meeting someone, dude.
Like you're not going to make out at the end of this date.
I mean, you might, but don't put that on a, don't tell yourself don't set a goal have your goal be very loose i'm gonna go out
i'm gonna have a conversation that's fucking it dude well you know he's worried they're not gonna
like him but guess what if you're nice everyone will like you just be nice yeah you don't even
have to be you don't have to be dazzling or anything just be nice when they say something
be interested and then just get to
the end of it. And, and if you don't end up fucking, that's fine. Just give them a nice
memory. You got a nice memory. Yeah. And if you're nice to someone on a date, you make them feel
better because there's so many bad dates. You make them feel better about all guys in general.
They're like, Oh, guys can actually be pretty nice. You're doing work for all of us, dude.
Correct. Be nice out there. And he asked, how do I get my stoke back up?
You spread some stoke.
It's going to boost your stoke.
And, dude, panic attacks, they suck, but they happen.
It's okay.
Yeah.
They do suck, but it's okay.
All right, dudes, we've got to blast through this rather quickly.
Scoot.
Chad, are you ready?
Ready.
Dude, what's your beef of the week?
My beef of the week is with semicolons
whoa dude what the fuck do they do i don't know what is your deal semicolons i don't know why
you're there i don't know who invented you i don't understand maybe like oxford invented you
of the english dictionary what is your purpose why are you on the keyboard why do you confuse me
i hate semicolons dude i've never understood how to
use them and i don't think i ever will and i don't think i ever want to so fuck you i'm gonna
shove my semi up your colon yeah oh dude semi dude yeah maybe that's why that's the name
fucking you know it's not even a hard full-on colon colon. It's a semi-colon.
What's a semi-colon anyways?
I'm sick of them.
Pick a lane, dude.
Yeah.
These fucking halvesies.
I'm not a period.
I'm not a colon.
I'm a semi-fucking... Yeah, if you come into my lane, I'm going to rub in his racing.
I'm going to put you under the wall with a comma.
Strider, what's your Beef of the week my beef of the week dude it's been um it's pretty dank i've got a sonos bar it's legit but i lost the power cord and so i bought a
universal power cord and i think it's creating a weird high-pitched home noise like this like
and it's pretty faint it's driving my girlfriend nuts dude that's upsetting me dude i don't like
to see her that she's not enjoying that noise.
So I got to figure it out.
That's bullshit, dude.
Yeah, it's like a...
She's distressed?
She's distressed because of it, dude.
She's got to be...
I mean, it's exacerbated now
because she's working from home,
you know, taking home meetings.
And, you know, she's on Zoom
and she's got to hear that little noise, dude.
Oh, let's drive over there after this
and go handle that.
Fix it up.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I might have to swing by Fry's Electronics.
That's what I'm saying.
We go to the source. Yeah. Or maybe a Circuit City. Rest in peace, dude, and just figure it out, that. Fix it up. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I might have to swing by Fry's Electronics. That's what I'm saying. We go to the source.
Yeah.
Or maybe a Circuit City.
Rest in peace, dude, and just figure it out, dude.
Let it go, dude.
We've got to air five you, dude.
Aaron.
Aaron, who's your Beef of the Week?
I don't know who I need this week, guys.
Copy.
I'm pissed off at a lot of shit, Aaron.
I can step in for a year and I'm getting a beer.
My Beef of the week is
people using the word
sus or the phrase sus.
Oh, dude.
It's all over IG.
This is sus. Israel Adesanya
after he beat Paula Costa, he
disliked the guy. He gave him like two humps from
behind and everyone's like, do you see those humps?
Those humps are sus. I'm like, it's obviously
not if he's doing it in front of the whole world and even if he was it's not because it's just not
and it's like just stop using these stupid words like it was lame when everyone was saying like
no homo that was like one of the lamest things ever and then when that died i thought we were
in the clear and then sus comes out and it's like it's like guys just we're done all right you're
done it's lame it feels pre-programmed and when there's nine million people saying it in the comments
You just seem super unoriginal on top of some other stuff. So just move just just just focus on other shit
So stupid. Let me ask you this question. It is sus is the I guess the root of it. Is it based on like homophobia?
Yeah, it's like it's like this guy's suspect. He might be gay lame
Cuz I've only heard it in like the context of Call of Duty where guys are like, this guy's suspect. He might be gay. Lame. Because I've only heard it in the context of Call of Duty, where guys are like, oh,
sus.
Oh, that's true.
He's blah, blah, blah.
And that does annoy me, though, because the guy gets killed, and I'm like, you just got
killed, bro.
That's every time, too.
Come on, dude.
You got killed.
Guys who are good do it the most.
Oh, dude, wait.
That was sus.
That was sus.
Sus, bro.
How do you see me doing sus?
That shot really sus.
I don't mind it as much in that context, but it does annoy me.
But for me, it's more the, yeah.
Yeah, because that's like, yeah, derived from.
This guy's sus, dude. You're like, what you this is what you spend your fucking time on
yeah this is what you spend your fucking time on is being suspicious of what other dudes are
boning to because i got news for you me and chad were talking about this yesterday there's straight
guys i know who love watching a little bit of gay stuff to get fired up to do some straight shit so
it's like look it's a continuum all right have you not heard of kinsey do you not see the fucking movie with liam neeson
it's one to six most people are somewhere in the middle sus continuum dysfunctional
yeah yeah it's annoying that's that's the worst people feel cool saying it i was gonna even
piggyback but sus is way worse but when people go go, oh, dude, that guy, that guy's a vibe.
When I hear that phrase, I'm like, come here, dude.
Or this guy's a problem.
In the NBA, there's these new phrases, you know, like, oh, that guy's built different.
You're just like, yeah, I like it when I first heard it because it does describe a certain
kind of thing that you see in sports, but enough's enough.
And also this guy's a problem.
He's a problem.
Yeah, we get it. He's a problem. Yeah, we get it.
He's a problem.
Yeah.
It's crazy how these phrases just take over,
and then you're hearing them 6,000 times a day.
I know.
It does not get me stoked waiting for that one to take over.
Chad, who's your Babe of the Week?
My Babe of the Week is Brad Pitt's Flo and Legends of the Fall.
Yes.
All time.
Yes.
If there was a Hall of Fame for babes.
Yeah. Brad Pitt's Machismo and Legends of the fall yes all time yes there was a hall of fame for babes yeah brad pitt's machismo and legend of the legends of the fall just brad pitt and legends of the fall is such
a good movie i watched it this weekend and it just you know i don't know it made me want to
go ride a horse as fast as i could and just like you know and then like avenge like my wife's death.
Is he ever not avenging in that movie?
Yeah, and then just like take down some bootleggers, you know,
and then just like have Anthony Hopkins as my dad come save the day.
Sorry if I'm doing spoiler alerts, but, you know.
This is like 95.
Yeah.
He's the wrong guy to wrong, and everybody keeps wronging him.
Even when they're at the bar and they won't serve his Native American buddy,
they just throw the guy a beer.
He's count a two on 27 enemy.
You give him a beer.
That's pretty good Brad Pitt voice right there.
Thank you.
It's funny that you just rewatched it because I rewatched it with JT recently,
not too long ago, and I look at JT and I go, I love this movie.
But what the fuck's this movie about?
Like, it's just Brad Pitt being hot the whole time on a horse.
And it's amazing.
And it's compelling.
And I want to watch it.
The visuals are crazy.
A lot of sprawl.
Dude, tons.
But then you described it very great.
We were like, it was so funny.
You just kind of leaned over.
You're like, he's so special.
People can't handle it.
Yeah.
That is what the movie is about.
He's just too special.
He's so special.
It like breaks everyone around him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They can't be around him he's too special yeah it's amazing and it's so true and who better to cast than brad pitt for that oh dude and like
he um too special yeah like his brother at the end he's like i did everything right i followed
all the rules but everyone loves you more yeah just standing there just like and brap it doesn't even want
that he's just i'm sorry yeah i'm sorry everything has to love me yeah i can't stop being amazing
this guy was such a legend even his death was awesome just some bears attacking this like
seven-year-old dude and he's just stabbing it i feel like a lot of water polo players probably
identify with tristan's character they're like like, I'm so fucking special, dude.
I'm in the water like I should be at USC.
Fucking dude, it's what I'm meant to do.
That's a very OC mentality to think like that.
For sure.
And to think that your specialness is the problem.
To be like, no, I can't stop ruining things.
Because I'm just being pulled in so many different directions by my talent and by people's needs for me.
Totally, totally.
Yeah, maybe.
All of your strengths are other people's flaws it's like fuck you dude no you just suck
schreider who's your babe of the week oh dude babe week's gotta be my gf dude um
she made this freaking dank dank we've been having a lot of fun cooking during the q team
making some dank recipes and um dude last night dude she just freaking surprised me she goes
taste these brownies taste these brownies right now dude i'm like oh yeah they taste pretty dank as per use and we're very compatible i like
the edge pieces my gf likes the center pieces very nice very cute dude freaking smooch over that fact
and uh she goes did you notice that i ground up a little bit of coffee and put them in there
like a little like uh in the in the recipe she put some ground up coffee in there so not only
was i freaking getting extra stoked on those because they're so
dank and made with love,
but literally I was getting a caffeine boost.
So it was tight.
So nice little surprise in the recipe.
And usually I would say,
don't go messing up brownies.
Don't try to reinvent the wheel,
dude.
But it was dank.
It's fire.
My baby of the week is Coca-Cola.
Yeah.
I don't drink it,
but it's so great. it's unbelievable and they've had
the formula they have a top secret there's a great this american life about how no one can get access
to it because it is that valuable it's worth all the gold in fort knox like they drilled it and
there's all these other sodas but i don't think there will ever be a soda as good as coca-cola i
think they just they figured it out they made the perfect pop song in a can, and Serge Gainsborough style,
and you have to give them credit for it.
They drilled it.
It's like McDonald's.
It's just one of those products where you're like,
wow, American commerce created the perfect product,
and we get to experience it.
That's fucking awesome.
Chad, who's your Legend of the Week?
My Legend of the Week is the Chernin brothers, Dave and John.
We're working with them on this Hulu project,
and they're just straight-up legends, dude.
Such a fun hang, such smart dudes.
They really know what they're doing,
and they're kind of like our mentors, in a way, in this process of just,
you know, because we're in this process of just,
you know, because we're learning this style of writing,
and they're just like the coolest dudes, you know,
and they're just sweet guys, super sweet guys, super helpful,
super understanding, super, you know, just like really fun, easy to work with, and it's just really been a pleasure.
really fun, easy to work with. And just, uh, it's just really been a pleasure. And, uh,
we've been blessed to work with some pretty awesome people so far in, in, in this industry. For sure.
Chernins, Dan Lucchese, you know.
Dan Milstein.
Dan Milstein.
Dave Kneebone.
Yeah. Um, Aaron.
Aaron.
Nah.
I think you found your beefs, Aaron.
I think you found your beefs.
So yeah, I just wanted to give them a shout out.
They're legends.
I'm just fired up.
Hell yeah.
That's a great one.
They're such great guys.
They're the best guys. They're so fun to hang out with too.
When we do our writer sessions,
it's just every time I leave, I'm like was great yeah it's always fun it is really really fun
and they got great drinks they got that cool cbd drink yeah they're they're like they're like
they're like the cool they're like very la but they're not too hollywood to where it they're
like they're like the perfect amount of la they really are because they have great stories yeah
but they're not like trying to brag with them yeah They're just like, oh, this is like...
And they wrote on Always Sunny for five years, and then they ran a show called The Mic.
So they just have a trove of stories about so many different things.
And they've just been teaching us so much.
Like lingo.
I just didn't know so much screenwriting lingo.
A lot of tonnage there.
Whoa.
Tonnage is when you're over-explaining things.
Interesting.
And then they're like, oh, this seems a good opportunity for a collapse.
That's when you put two scenes together.
Yeah.
Now I use these phrases nonstop anytime I'm on the phone.
I'm like, I think we got some tonnage heading into that collapse.
Yeah.
Lingo.
They're like, what's happening?
Are you getting in a car accident right now?
Yeah.
18 wheel overturn in front of you?
Strider, who's your legend of the week?
Dude, my legend of the week's got to be Evan, bro.
I mentioned my sonos bar evan's the dude from the best buy geek squad who just came in and absolutely drilled it dude was covet safe dude he was wearing volcom shorts he was looking good
he wore high socks kind of like i wore high socks basically he was like me but knew about tech and
everything which was sick so it's basically a self-love thing i'm calling myself a legend here
in a sick gross roundabout way but uh he was sick dude mounted it's basically a self-love thing. I'm calling myself a legend here in a sick, gross, roundabout way.
But he was sick, dude. Mounted the
TV, Lickley split, dude. Put everything up there.
Even stayed to help me set up the bar
on my phone, on an app.
Dude was a beast, man. Evan
from the Best Buy Geek Squad, dude.
Five stars, dude. Nice.
My legend of the week is
Josh Allen, the quarterback for the Buffalo Bills.
I just happen to be watching their game against the Rams.
The guy is both awesome and terrible all at the same time,
and he'll just give you everything possible on a football field.
He threw four down-yard balls that were just frozen ropes,
Mahomes-level arm power.
He doesn't have all the crazy releases and doesn't make it look as easy,
but he's got a cannon.
Then when he runs, he's like a nimble 18-wheeler.
He's like trucking dudes, but he's fast as shit.
But then he's also just kind of dumb sometimes
and will make a ton of bonehead plays.
He got an unsportsmanlike call on him, which I've rarely seen on a quarterback.
And then he had a face mask, which I've barely ever seen on a quarterback.
And then he had a fumble, and then he had a crazy pick.
And I was like, dude, the Josh Allen experience is just total.
You get every permutation of what can happen to a quarterback, he will do.
And things you didn't even know were possible.
So yeah, a lot of fun watching that guy.
Great quarterback for Buffalo to have.
It's a quarterback Chicago wishes they have.
I bet Marisi wants Josh Allen so bad on his team.
But the Bears are kind of, they're looking, I'm...
Foles, baby.
Behind the Steelers, I want the Bears to be successful this year. I think'd be nice yeah and foals looks good and joe's joe's excited about
foals i know they know yeah dude bear starting three you know dude atlanta man what the hell's
going on there but sad sorry matt ryan's got some psychological issues yeah yeah uh chad who's
what's your quote of the week uh my quote of the week is from the sopranos pilot um
Chad, what's your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is from the Sopranos pilot,
where Teddy Soprano is talking about his uncle Junior.
And I hope I get this correctly.
He's like, yeah, you know, my uncle Junior told my girl cousins I never had the makings of a varsity athlete,
which, quite frankly, tremendously affected my self-esteem.
Nice.
This show is so funny.
It's the funniest show ever.
It really is.
Strider.
Character.
Quote of the week.
My quote of the week comes from a movie called,
I'm blanking on it too, it's the Cusack movie.
It made me think of it because.
High Fidelity?
Yeah, High Fidelity. That's the music one, right? What are you of it because high fidelity yeah high fidelity that's the music one right what he's talking about wow because they referenced
my first go they referenced serge gainsborough on that one like the skater kids steal albums he's
like you stole serge gainsborough like what are you doing they would never listen to that but um
anyway you're judging them you're judging them the same way he judges them in the movie true
true and guess what about how dare you look at us and just like say what we listen i know and then their band kicks ass and they're like god damn it's good
that's such a great touch but uh also what i love in that movie which makes me think of like why is
this scene even in it but it's only because the song's so badass and john cusack goes i will now
sell five tracks of the three lps by the beta band and puts on the song and it's just like and it's
the song called dry the rain i was listening to on the way over here and you just hear the vibe dude and i hate
saying it's not it is a vibe okay but like contextually true and so fucking dang dude so
that just fires me up of just i want to sell three tracks five tracks of the three lps by the beta
band and his buddy just goes do it yeah it's so good uh do mine is from jessica simpson's memoir
open book because she's very open about stuff.
And she's talking about her problems with alcohol and drugs early in the book.
She goes, and I really related to this.
She goes, but our new house was the gathering place for all my friends, the place where
everyone always ended up.
I had a prescription for a stimulant, which gave me the focus to never get messy.
I'd look around at my friends getting sleepy and are sloppy and think, I just an ox i guess i felt like that a bunch of times maybe like five in the morning i just
have the adderall on my system i'd like and then it was chili chili would say you're the juggernaut
but she's an i like ox too yeah it's good stuff what's your phrase we'll be freaking after it
uh let's fucking pample that moose.
Whoa.
Fuck yeah.
Strider.
We're going home.
It's a reference to Call of Duty
when we drop the boneyard.
Nice.
Where are we going?
We're going home.
And I love that one of the buildings
we drop at we call Chili's
because that's where he likes to go the most.
So we named the next door place Applebee's.
I love the naming convention.
It's great.
My phrase of the week for getting after to me and Chad, we're talking about this yesterday,
is the bowler Pete Weber, who just gets really fired up and loves to talk shit.
He hits a strike, and he just goes ballistic.
He's like, yeah!
Yeah, that's right!
And he goes, who do you think you are?
I am! Yeah, it's the best And he goes, who do you think you are? I am.
Yeah, it's the best clip ever.
It's the best clip ever.
And I want to turn a phrase.
Who do you think you are?
I am.
That's it.
What a beast. I love that's so funny because there's a narrative going on in his head that he's the only one tracking and following when that statement comes out of his mouth.
You're like, whoa, dude, what's going on in this dome?
And he's just so far.
It's the funniest clip of all time.
It's so funny.
All right, guys, that's it.
All right, Stokers, thanks for hanging out.
Aaron, thank you.
Aaron, love you, dog.
Legend.
Love you, Aaron.
Strider, thanks for coming in.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me, bro.
It's always good to have you back, bro.
Pleasure, dude.
All right, bros.
See you later.
See you later.
If you need advice
These guys are really nice
You wanna know
What to do
Where to go
When you need someone to guide you
She's the half-nose beside you When you need someone to guide you To have your peace
I'm going deep
Going deep
Let's go deep
I'm going deep
I'm going deep I don't know.