Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 158 - Trevor Wallace Joins

Episode Date: October 29, 2020

What up stokers?! This week Trevor Wallace joins. We talk about coming up together and a host of other things. Check out his podcast "Stiff Socks". Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shippin...g with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Guys, before we begin this podcast, I want to remind you once again that we are brought to you by Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean. Use code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com to get 20% off your order. And let's start the show. Ooh, yeah. Call me Tony and start the car. What's up, Stokers? I like it.
Starting point is 00:00:42 You like that? I like it. I improv it. It's whatever comes to the dome. I'm all for it, dude. I like your guys' intro is, like, short and to the car. What's up, Stokers? I like it. You like that? I like it. I improv it. It's whatever comes to the dome. I'm all for it, dude. I like your guys' intro is like short and to the point. Yeah. Some of them are too long, and you're like, do I got to take Molly for this shit?
Starting point is 00:00:53 Like, that's just straight in. That boom. Yeah. A little key bump of that dopamine for the brain real quick. Tony, cars, engines. I've been watching Sopranos. Yeah. I drove here.
Starting point is 00:01:01 That's what's on my mind. Letting people know up top. Hell yeah. Appreciate it, dude. Glad to beos. Yeah. I drove here. That's what's on my mind. Letting people know up top. Hell yeah. Appreciate it, dude. Glad to be here. Yeah, we got T-Wall. Got my compadre, John Thomas. What up? Boom, clap stokers. Oh, shit. Was that off the dome or no? No, I say that every time. Oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Now I gotta come in here hot with something tight. Do you have a phrase that you start? Snap, crackle, pop, baby. That's Rice Krispies, but I should have. The sister of zip, zap, zap. Yeah, dude. Improv. have a phrase that you start crackle pop baby no i don't yeah that's that's rice krispies but i should sister of zip zap zap yeah dude improv did you guys do improv classes yeah what were your thoughts on them why am i interviewing you guys this is your podcast i gotta leave anyways i liked them a lot i like meeting the people there i thought it was like it was hit or miss with the
Starting point is 00:01:39 and the teacher like the coach like oh you've been with your teacher sometimes why they just be like i don't think that's a good choice i was like i mean you're on one episode of it's always sunny in philadelphia like i don't think you have that much credentials to like lean into me like that oh nice like just one episode but would you voice that or would you just kind of feel that i would feel that and then i'd be like oh okay i mean yeah i see where you're coming from i see where you're coming from is like a passive aggressive way to be like i don't agree you know what i always thought was interesting about the audiences is they're much more supportive at improv shows. There's a lot more clapping, but it's kind of like a, like a frightened clap.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Yeah. It's like, we need to support each other and we're having fun. It feels like a school play where it's like friends and families in the crowd a little bit. Did you bring friends to like the graduation shows? Well, I never made it to the graduation shows. Oh, do you? I got kicked out of a UCB one.
Starting point is 00:02:23 They're like, you missed your third one. You're out of here. I'm like, like 500 for this shit yeah you saw i was hitting a fucking open mic in a coffee shop all right no i did like just the classes so like i never got to perform improv so i don't know no hate on them but like there's some really successful people in it but uh it just wasn't for me i remember i asked the teacher one day i was like what is like how can you practice improv outside of improv because stand up you know you hit mics and you're writing this and that they're like the i was just like, live, eat, and breathe improv. And I was like, what is that?
Starting point is 00:02:48 Is that a fucking t-shirt slogan? Like, how am I supposed to do that? Yeah. Just like doing space work at a coffee shop. I'm like, can I get more creamer for that? Well, that was my ish with the, I bailed after, did you like UCB one and two? But then I bailed after that because I wanted to practice. Like, I wanted to do sex.
Starting point is 00:03:04 And they're like, yeah, you you gotta set up with a coach and then but then people in la are so like fickle that i just couldn't get any yeah we got assistant practices yeah we got like some like shit practices going but we had a private coach and the coach was literally just coming but yeah that was good and you're like all right it was always funny when they needed to get paid too they'd be like hey i'm gonna go to the bathroom real quick and then we all put our money together yeah i'll be right back but uh yeah you just like leave it on the table they felt uncomfortable about like the commerce aspect yeah i mean they know what they're doing they're like we're just gonna just say yes and no real quick mainly yeses because improv out here and then just get 150 and get the fuck out of here right where are you from
Starting point is 00:03:37 uh ventura county oh you're from i'm from out here yeah i grew up in camarillo you know where that is i think so yeah yeah it's just like literally between Santa Barbara and Los Angeles, like right in the middle. Nice. Dude, what's that comedy club? Ventura Harbor. Ventura Harbor. Ventura Harbor Comedy Club.
Starting point is 00:03:51 That's my hometown comedy club. I started there when I was 17, dude. That's a legendary spot for me, at least. Yeah. But it's like a lot of LA people will roll out there because it's like an hour and a half drive. It's not too bad. And it's like, it's a good club.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Yeah. It's like right out there. And then Levity Live opened up like five minutes from there which is tough yeah because their first weekend was like marlon wayne's david spade and they're like this guy who was on comic view in 03 yeah so but that yeah it's a legendary club for me you know i started out there how'd your set at 17 go what did you talk about honestly it went good because there was family and friends in the audience my second set, not good. So the first set, I took a comedy class when I was 17.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Were you a virgin? In sex or comedy? Sex. Yeah, I was. Nice. I lost it a couple months later. I started doing stand-up as a virgin. And then what happened?
Starting point is 00:04:43 At some point I had sex. Were they correlated at all? Well, I just remember everything I would write, like everything I'd write was just about bro relationships because that was what I knew. I would never write anything about girls because I was like, I don't know anything. Yeah, my first set was like three,
Starting point is 00:04:57 like one-liner, like topical shit. And then I did a story about how I got my car taken away because I got a speeding ticket coming back from the beach. And then my parents took my car away, so I only had a skateboard. And because I got a speeding ticket coming back from the beach. And then my parents took my car away, so I only had a skateboard. And then I got a helmet ticket for not wearing a helmet by skating past a school.
Starting point is 00:05:13 And then I had to go to a courthouse and show the judge my helmet in front of a bunch of other cases. And this is Oxnard, which is kind of a little bit tough of an area. And there was dudes like, yeah, I'm here for Grand Theft Auto. I'm here for literally trying to stab somebody i'm like
Starting point is 00:05:26 yeah i got a helmet so that was my first story and i thought that was kind of neat because it was like more of a story it wasn't like a like one-liner type shit or like some dirty bar joke so i was like happy with that um i like that yeah it was cool so yeah i i i started off i i just went straight dirty because i think everybody does though yeah because you know it works yeah and i was i was just out of college and i was like i was like what's what's funny to me and my friends it's like yeah yeah porn and huge jizz loads and that's like what i talked about but yeah i was like snowstorms are just god just blowing loads on the earth but i still thought that was like a breakthrough idea that would hit
Starting point is 00:06:03 to this day to be honest i was a little racist too i did some racist stuff oh really yeah yeah i've pruned that out of my life yeah i mean you're just looking for whatever's funny like it's not even like you're just like sitting in the back of a shitty bar and you're just like thinking about like what is funny you're like you're just making up all these hypothetical stories and you're like trying to make it funny and it's not authentic and then you like find write about like real shit that's true to you and you're like oh i can make this funny yeah but it's so like easy to like take that route of like just like what is dirty and what's funny so right try not to do that but what's what's your like uh data because you you you have a pretty noticeably hard work ethic.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Thank you, man. You're very consistent with all the stuff you put out. Do you have a schedule that you go by, or are you just kind of naturally just chugging on the go? Kind of like both. So I try to post a video every Monday, except for this Monday, because I was burnt out. I did a virtual show and it just fucking took the life out of me. That's a tough thing. It's a lot of work. So I thought I was going to just be like a virtual show and just fucking took the life out of me so it's a lot of work so I thought it was gonna just be like yeah for sure go buy tickets but it was like fucking draining so I took uh this week off but it's like I'll do that on Mondays
Starting point is 00:07:13 and our podcast comes out Wednesday so we'll usually record Monday or Tuesday and then Thursday Friday I'll try to film and then in between that I'll try to edit nice so Saturday night live yeah dude's fucking cranking around because i've like i've had external editors and shit but like for the most part i'll get like a cut back and i'm sure you guys have experienced this too you're like why what how did no i don't then i'm like writing all these notes and then it's just like so extensive to the point where i'll just be like hey just send me the file and i'll fix it right just because like the amount of like going back on fourth emails it's just like i feel like i could have just done it do
Starting point is 00:07:44 you have writers no oh so you just write everything yeah or it'll be like collaborative like when we're on set it'll just be like me and this guy churdley's we film we film a lot together we'll just like bounce ideas off each other so we'll kind of go in with like we just kind of improv a lot of it it'll be going with like a general idea like we just want these two characters to be doing x y and z and then like as we film like kind of just like it takes a lot longer because there's no like script or anything but i kind of like it because when you're in the moment it's funnier i feel like that's why like riffs in an audience like you ever like riff the joke in an audience and it crushed and they tried another show yeah and it bombs it's because it's in the moment and it felt right so we try to create
Starting point is 00:08:20 those in the moment feelings because like it just like it feels more like you're in character so you're doing something your character would do instead of like like writing to me feels so like I'm at a coffee shop like words Words words words, and then sometimes I look at it the next day. I'm like what the fuck is this? Yeah, so I just like to just like kind of have an idea or like write a direction of it a premise Then you guys sort of just go from yeah I mean that's something like like my favorite shows like Reno 911 and that's kind of like what they did. They just be like, this is what we want to do and same with like Curb,
Starting point is 00:08:46 you know, they just kind of go in there and then just go for it and it's like, if you're a trusted actor, then yeah, the production's down for that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:53 But if nobody knows your work, they're like, we need a fucking script. You know, you can't pitch a show just being like, we're just gonna fucking
Starting point is 00:08:58 get a camera and go to a Kinko's and they're like, what is that? Is Kinko's still open? So, we just try to like, just kind of have fun with it.
Starting point is 00:09:06 I think because of the fun shows, then it's like when you're on stage, like if you look like you're having fun, people will want to be like, oh, this is fun, you know? Instead of like taking it out on yourself, like, oh, well that joke didn't work. And they're like, this is awkward, you know?
Starting point is 00:09:16 Yeah, it's always weird. Yeah. When they get mad at, when someone gets mad at the audience. Oh yeah, because the audience is there, they want to laugh. It's not like they were yanked off the street to like watch a shit bitch. It's like, yeah, we wanted to come to a comic club. Or they'll misinterpret why the audience is there they want to laugh it's not like they were yanked off the street like watch this shit bitch it's like yeah we wanted to come to a comic club or
Starting point is 00:09:28 they'll misinterpret why the audience pulled back they're like oh you didn't like that joke because of this yeah and it's like that's not why they didn't like it you just like talk too fast and like stepped on your punchline you're like oh you're all fucking idiots huh and it's like yeah but you don't like it when someone gets political and we're like well no it wasn't that at all but no one says anything so they still don't know yeah which you which it's hard because I remember I had to train myself, and I'm sure you guys maybe dealt with this too in the beginning of stand-up. You have to like – that's like an insecurity that you have when a joke bombs where you're just like, you want to take it out.
Starting point is 00:09:55 Oh, that's not – or, oh, sorry, that's new. It's like then people are just like, don't say that. Just go on to the next joke, you know? Yeah, insecurity sucks. Tiffany Haddish talks about how she was in like a comedy camp and richard pryor was like i can't remember the exact quote but it's to the effect of like people came here to laugh they didn't come here to like you know hear your problems not going to critique you this isn't agt you know yeah they like because a lot of people go on stage and
Starting point is 00:10:21 like they get just get too depressing and they're like oh too real dude too real and then it's like no dude we just wanted to like come here and laugh and like have a good time and they're like people just try to bring up all this like shocking shit and then it's well people listen to like five you know bill burr podcasts in a row and they go on stage and be like i'm dude i would do that shit too like early on like the flappers days we were like yeah you just listen to too much Bill Burr in like 2015 and you're like, I'm Bill Burr. And you take a giant political swing after doing a joke about like coming too quick.
Starting point is 00:10:50 And it's just like, there's no, who is this guy you're doing on stage right now? And the audience just doesn't believe you're smart enough. And they're probably right. Yeah. It was also just like, huh?
Starting point is 00:10:57 Like, like you got to be a respected guy or at least like have a good premise and then back it up immediately. Right. You know, or Patrice O'Neill. Like if people listen to a lot of Patrice O'Neill, they go up there and they're like,
Starting point is 00:11:07 here's the thing about women. A lot of them are sluts. And you're like, whoa! You're like, slow down. Bold take in 2019, my guy. And then they get insecure and they're like, oh, I mean, I don't actually, then they backtrack.
Starting point is 00:11:17 They're like, I don't actually mean that. That's the thing. I was like saying earlier, if you look like you're having fun on stage, then people will be having fun with you. But if you're like, if you look like you're not confident about your material, they'll be like,
Starting point is 00:11:25 bro, you can't be just talking, throwing bold statements out there like that. Yeah, the pilot has to say he's going to land the plane. Correct. Yeah. Wait, so where'd you go to college? San Jose State. Oh, nice. Bay Area, baby. What's their mascot? Oh, yeah, you were right down the street. Spartans. Nice. I feel like half the colleges are just like,
Starting point is 00:11:42 Spartan? Question mark? Like, they're just like, they don't, they got real lazy with it they're like Spartans Are bulldogs what do you guys want to do here were you doing Comedy there yeah so they Had like a like a comedy club Like like a not like a perform But like a club like a group of people So we would do mics together it's pretty tight and then
Starting point is 00:11:58 We just like we'd do mics together and then We'd all just meet up at a lecture hall one night and just run jokes About each other it's pretty tight like I just like hit a mic After class which was nice. You still boys with those guys? Like Facebook friends, but not really. Like a lot of them stayed up there. Did you do a frat?
Starting point is 00:12:12 I did. Yeah. So that was also a big plus. I was in a fraternity and I had a disposal of like 50 frat dudes who were always down to come to a show. So I would like DM, like message like the San Jose Amprov or Rooster Teefeathers, if you know that place, like, like legit clubs. And I'd Amprov or Rooster Teafeathers if you know that place like like legit clubs and I'd be like hey can I do a guest set I'll bring 50 people
Starting point is 00:12:29 and the clubs are like they don't give a fuck what I do for five minutes they're just thinking about like 50 people each person's ticket is like with drinks it's like 50 bucks they're just doing math in their head like yeah do a guest set we don't care so like I was able to get in at clubs like way way way way too early you know so but not even like get in they were just like yeah here's a little guest set but i caught like a wave of that like adrenaline we were like performing in front of like a couple hundred people when you're it's like your third show which was good and bad it gave me a false sense i remember i like taped my first set with like my phone on the ground pointed at me and i was like i'm sending
Starting point is 00:13:01 this to every club ever did you really i sent it to a lot of clubs and i was very confident about it and now i'm like don't i'm so glad that nobody like ever looked at that like it was trash it was a camera on the ground yeah i did a comedy time do you ever do that comedy time yeah with uh dude i submitted for that they're like you're too dirty and i was like yeah dude yeah i was like i was like a year in i was like gotta get on comedy time that's how you sort of do that's how you start to break in, you get that tape that you can send to clubs. I mean, Angela Johnson fucking blew up off that. Right, yeah, yeah. So there's a little sense. And I had to pay
Starting point is 00:13:32 them to take my set down, because it was so bad. Because it was like up for like, you know, like two or three years, and I was like, whatever, it's lost the internet. Yeah, and then your shit started taking off. Yeah, friends from high school were like, dude, I saw your stand-up. And I'm like where where'd you see my stand-up they're like comedy time and i was like yeah i messaged guy i'm like hey can you take this shit down
Starting point is 00:13:53 how much you have to pay him 150 bucks dude that's worth it it's a scam though you should have taken it down yeah but because we monetize on the did it have a lot of views when they took it down? Like a thousand. A thousand too many. That bad of a set? Nah. I mean, I just didn't want it to be out there. Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen a video of one of my sets and been like, that's it.
Starting point is 00:14:17 I've been like, that'll pass. Right. If somebody sees that, that'll be okay. Yeah. Yeah. I did Laughs on Fox, but they never aired it. Oh, yeah. I remember that. So, yeah, I did it. I hosted it. And then they're like, yeah, yeah, just sign laughs on fox but they never aired it oh yeah so uh yeah i did it i
Starting point is 00:14:26 hosted it and then they're like yeah yeah just sign here you'll be on i was like just because i'm hosting i'll still be on it right they're like yeah for sure for sure and then i just like i saw like uh like maddie chimber uh his part came out there was a bunch of people on that show when i did it i forget who else uh whatever this is not important but uh all the people in the episode were like aaron i was like what's good when is my shit coming out and then they just ghosted me and then like a month later i was like can i at least get my footage and then they sent me all my footage and it was like four cameras so i edited it myself and then put it up there and it looked like it was legit
Starting point is 00:14:57 on laughs on fox oh nice and but the same thing happened where like my shit started doing like decent and then people like oh this is fucking this guy was on laughs and i was like make kind of a film for it you know but yeah so yeah any stand-up but like after each year that goes by like you'd see a set from a year ago but the fuck am i talking about right so what was your first video that really blew up it was the zoomies yeah zoomies on 2017 was that like a before and after moment where like oh everything's like different now uh a little bit it was almost like a peek on the other side it was like a before and after moment where you're like, oh, everything's like different now? A little bit. It was almost like a peek on the other side. It was like a little like teaser, you know?
Starting point is 00:15:30 It's like you drove past a Hooters, but you caught a glimpse of a tit. And you're like, oh, I know what's going on. You drove by and caught a glimpse. Glimpse, dude. Someone was just reorganizing their breath. Dude, yeah. Somebody was just picking up dishes. And you're like, yo, I see what it's like over there.
Starting point is 00:15:42 What's going on over there? It's funny when you're like 14 and you're like dad look let's go to who do I do Burbank yeah yeah and then you get there I was like I think I was like 70 when I went to my first one but I was actually uncomfortable with how much they were flirting I was so insecure she was like so what do you want it was like putting her boobs in my face I was like look I know you don't really like me and everybody was like Jesus dude relax I know your personalities little highs can get a better tip looking I just want the chicken salad yeah I'm like I know you don't really like me. And everybody was like, Jesus, dude, relax. You're just getting too real. I know your personality is a little high, so you can get a better tip.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Look, I just want the chicken salad. Yeah, I'm like, I know you don't want to really be doing this with me. Just, I'll get the chicken salad. That's so funny, because I went there for my 13th birthday. The one in Burbank, right by Flappers. Dude, they made me sing Happy Birthday. They put a cup in my mouth. I had to sing, like, the chicken song.
Starting point is 00:16:20 I was geeked out. Are you more of a boob guy? At the time, yes. Right? Isn't that the thing? Yeah. Then you get older. That's when you become a man.
Starting point is 00:16:27 I had a bar mitzvah. It didn't count for me. When I started checking out asses, man. You're Jewish? Yeah. I didn't know you were Jewish. Yeah. My mom's Jewish and my dad's Christian.
Starting point is 00:16:34 But in that realm- The mom takes- The mom's just like, we don't give a fuck. Right. No. Override. Well, I think if you're born, the Judaism is passed through the mom, right? I mean, it goes both ways, but isn't it a matriarchal kind of hereditary?
Starting point is 00:16:51 Those are three words I don't know. I'm just making up words. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tesla. Matriculation. Elon Musk. Yeah. Transit of property.
Starting point is 00:16:59 No, so it's like if the dad's Jewish and the mom's Christian, then you can be half and half, but if the mom's Jewish and the dad's Christian, like if the mom, yeah, that's just how it is. Right. Which shout out to Jewish moms for just not taking no for an answer. Right. They're just one hundo. And my dad converted, which says something about my mom, you know? That's a long, long process, right?
Starting point is 00:17:17 I do not know. I think my brother wanted to convert because he's working on Wall Street. Oh, really? That'll do it. Nice. Like he was working on Wall Street for like three years and my dad's like, do you know Bill's trying to convert because he's working on Wall Street. Oh, really? That'll do it. Nice. He was working on Wall Street for like three years, and my dad's like, do you know Bill's trying to convert to Judaism? I was like, oh, cool.
Starting point is 00:17:30 His wife's not Jewish? No. Amazing. So just nobody in the family's Jewish, but he was just trying to go for it? I think he just really likes Judaism. There's a lot to like. Yeah. I mean, I think in your email blogs, you used to write like, you know, Dr. Lord Jewish,
Starting point is 00:17:44 and then just like let people know you're. Lord Jewish. And then just like, like let people know you're Jewish in there. So do you practice though? Not really. I did a lot as a child. My mom like forced it so much onto me that it kind of like turned me away from it. Yeah. But like after I got a bar mitzvah,
Starting point is 00:17:55 my mom's like, I did what I could. Do you believe in God? Uh, yeah. I mean, I'm not, I don't,
Starting point is 00:18:01 I don't know. I kind of just like live, dude. I don't know what's happening in life ever. Like, like honestly, people like what happens after life? And I'm like, I don't know. I kind of just like live, dude. I don't know what's happening in life ever. Like, I'm like, honestly, people like what happens after life? And I'm like, I don't know. I don't want to think about it.
Starting point is 00:18:08 That's why I just cram my brain with like, just being busy and doing what I love to not even think about that. Cause like, dude, like I get my biggest anxiety comes when I'm hung over. I'm laying in bed. You guys have so much in common. Yeah. Chad gets massive hangovers too. It's like whenever you're hung over, everybody decides to be the most successful person in the world like you're hungover you're laying in bed
Starting point is 00:18:28 you're not doing shit all your friends are booking netflix specials this guy's on a fucking wendy's commercial and you're like i'm just laying in bed and i just post made it a gatorade bottle like it's dude i'm just feeling down i feel you 100 so i just live i don't know what happens after but i just try to get it now i guess you're sort of like the hunter-gatherer mindset of the modern age. Because you're just out there doing stuff. Foraging. Instead of taking time to reflect on. Right, which I don't know what the right thing to do is.
Starting point is 00:18:55 I don't mean that to be insulting. No, no, no. But it's sort of like you've got to keep going, which I like to do. You just keep going so you don't have time to really stop and think. Literally. I want a balance of that, though. Sometimes, I was in Utah last week, and it was nice. I just went out just in the park city.
Starting point is 00:19:10 I'm trying to appreciate nature. Yeah, it's hard, though. I don't like it. I don't like nature. But I'm starting to learn to like it. So it's just weird because you get out there, and you see the view, and you're like, all right, now what? I did the thing. I saw it.
Starting point is 00:19:21 I went on a hike, and I was like, oh, okay, it's the same view from the bottom. And I kind of get get i don't know there's just so much stimulation that's so well designed you know like a nice community a nice suburban community you can walk through nice nice video on youtube or something yeah that's some vr hiking yeah yeah i mean dude pelotons you're like in the fucking street you know there's cars honking shit. When all the protests were going on after the George Floyd murder, I was on my bike and my black instructor was talking about, you know, how we need to progress as a society. I was just bawling. Dude, they're good.
Starting point is 00:19:52 They're amazing. They have very great dedication. They should, if Peloton doesn't work out, they should just go into a church. Me and my boys are on a text thread. We're all in love with Kendall. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:01 Babe. She puts together some good playlists. Babe. Yeah. You know who I'm talking about. Oh yeah, dude. I wrote a few Pellies in my life, dude. Do you have a Peloton? No, yeah, babe. She puts together some good playlists. Babe. Yeah, you know who I'm talking about. Oh, yeah, dude. I wrote a few Pellies in my life, dude. Do you have a Peloton?
Starting point is 00:20:07 No, I don't, but I went to a hotel once for, I was in Indiana recently, and they had a Peloton in the gym, and I wrote it like twice a day for like five days in a row. Right. I made a connection to it. It's a good workout. I made a Peloton video, and then I got discouraged to put it out because the sound was shit, but who knows? Maybe I'll make it.
Starting point is 00:20:22 Did you always get bad hangovers? I'm really curious about when i was probably around like 21 no 22 it was like senior year of college i was like this is aggressive it flipped yeah yeah but there's only like when did you guys start drinking because i feel like you get only a certain amount of like get out of jail free passes okay yeah i was right around that was like eighth grade going to ninth grade yeah my like junior senior year of high school we were like drinking like every weekend but i think it was just like but with those you would get blackout drunk and then you'd wake up and be like oh i just need water and you're fine but that's not the case like you're always fine you know right but i think you
Starting point is 00:20:57 just you only get a certain amount of those because like i had friends in college who didn't start drinking until their freshman year of college and those guys like still don't get hung over today i don't get hung over today. I don't understand those people. I started when I was like 18, really getting after it. And then once I got to like 20, 21, 22, I was like, I was just, and I always had this sort of existential crisis every time I got hung over, but not as bad but then it really peaked at 21 really yeah and now it comes in quick yeah that's why i have to like occupy
Starting point is 00:21:31 myself like when i'm hung over i make it an effort to be like i'm gonna go to the grocery store today yeah grocery store and do my laundry just always like just cramming my brain with like activities so i don't have time to just be like zoned out yeah yeah as long as i'm around people i'm okay i'm just so extroverted i feel that yeah I just have to make sure like in the morning I just don't stay alone yeah yeah that I go like see somebody that's solid that's good advice that's also yeah because like in college I lived in the fraternity and I never felt really alone or a hangover because like you walk down the halls and there's just 30 dudes being like guess what I did last night and everyone kind of was, I'm hungover too.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Yeah, you're on the same aspect to it. Exactly. You go get a fucking bagel and a coffee and you're like, wow, this is great. We should live like this forever. Who are your comedy inspirations? My favorite special that sparked my interest early on was Nick Swartzen's Seriously Who Farted.
Starting point is 00:22:21 Have you ever seen that? It just resonated with me because he was a guy and everything he talked about was very bro-y and i just related to it and i was just like this is like what i could see myself talking about yeah so that was like the first special like that i watched that i was like dude this is like legendary and i was probably like like 17 16 i don't know i don't know i forget when i came i I came out like 10 years ago or something. But, um,
Starting point is 00:22:46 yeah, I just remember watching on comedy central. I'm like, this is my favorite. Yeah. It was so good. Do you know him now? Uh,
Starting point is 00:22:52 we met at the comedy store one time and, um, yeah, I mean, I think we're like cordial with each other and we like follow each other, but that's it. But it's not like, what's up dude?
Starting point is 00:23:00 Sick fucking boomerang. You posted to everything about just messaging. Hey bro, you want to go? I said, happy birthday to him. And, him and he didn't respond. No, he didn't? But hey, birthdays are a tough one because they get like 50.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Dude, certain shit like that is weird because certain people will follow you. As you guys know, you guys probably have some random people who follow you and you're like, what? Do I DM them? And then you DM them and they're like, for sure. And you're like, I thought you loved me. You followed me. That means you're like the homie. yeah i started dming people though really when once covet happened i was like
Starting point is 00:23:29 why am i worried yeah there's no point like the whole world's gonna end so i just would be like rory scoville i'd be like hey dude big fan good work yeah and then like a day later he'd be like hey thanks man i was like no yeah when certain people like macklemore followed me out of the fucking so out of the blue yeah so there was a picture the other day that like popped up on air of like him, like with his hair looking all crazy. And then I went to go show it to somebody. I clicked on his profile and I was like, follow back. And I was like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 00:23:52 Which is funny because for one year for Halloween, I dressed up as him in college. Like one of the thrift. Yeah. You guys kind of look alike. Yeah. In the thrift shop days. Cause like when his hair was slicked back and all that. So it was like really full circle.
Starting point is 00:24:02 So I DM'd him. I was like, dude, funny story. I have a picture where I dressed up as you for Halloween. I'm a huge fan. Like, you know, some people will say he's not, I don't know, the sophisticated rapper. Yeah, he's very successful. But I love his music, dude.
Starting point is 00:24:14 What's the song that's got just that thumping chorus? It's like, can't you hold us? I know what you're talking about. Can't hold us. It's in the Ashton Kutcher Jobs movie. Ain't nobody hold up. Thrift store? The one after thrift store.
Starting point is 00:24:30 The feeling can't hold. Dude, that song? I'll run through a wall after I hear that. Thrift store also though was massive. Good song. But I know which song you're talking about. There's one about being gay. I thought that was nice.
Starting point is 00:24:45 He's gay? No, he did one about like. He has a daughter and a wife now, but he, but one of the bars was just like in the third grade. I thought I was gay. That was just a bar up top. But in the third grade, didn't we all? Dude.
Starting point is 00:24:56 Yeah. Third through 30, whatever I am now. Third through 32. I had an experience. Yeah. Yeah. So. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:25:05 I was just joking. It's up to you. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? I was just joking. It's up to you. Yeah, it's up to you. But yeah, that's like the level of where you're like, do I just reach out? Do I say what up? But then sometimes you forget these people are so, so famous. They're like, oh, fuck, I feel seen. I just wanted to follow you to laugh, not interact.
Starting point is 00:25:19 That's interesting. You might be fucking with their experience of how they experience you. Yeah, but I also just don't want to ask for anything. I just want to be like, what's up, dude? I saw you followed me. Tie it. I wonder if they're like half and half. There's half that need that sort of like, dude, I followed you.
Starting point is 00:25:35 You better message. And then there's half that are just like. I'm just here for the content. They're just like, oh, they messaged. Actually, I don't know if I could see someone being like, oh, they messaged me. I just want to. I don't know, dude. I feel like they'd be stoked
Starting point is 00:25:45 there's this guy who's on the cast of It's Always Sunny which is my favorite show and I thought he followed me so I DM'd him and he just left me on scene
Starting point is 00:25:50 I was like dude what the fuck I was like I literally love all you guys he might just be flirting too he's just waiting for the next time he gets
Starting point is 00:25:57 it's a long game yeah the internet's a weird place like what a follow means doesn't mean what you think it means 100% of the time
Starting point is 00:26:04 it feels like it. It feels like it every time. It should be like, you follow me, like, you fuck with me. We're boys. Like, I can dab you up. It does feel like they love you, though. You're like, wow. You, like, made that choice.
Starting point is 00:26:13 Yeah. It feels like if I saw you in public, I could be like, what's up? But I did that one time. The one time I've been to Catch LA, which is the most fucking influencer place ever, at a table. It's, uh... Where the fuck is it? Is it, like, a club?
Starting point is 00:26:25 No, it's, like, a rooftop restaurant, but it's just some, like, it's just some like dumb bougie shit but it's like no boot but on a roof so fuck but it was like all these like marshmallow was there and he's at a table with a bunch of these people and one of the dudes there followed me no no did he have his head on no so it was like his is like i knew who it was based on like he's some other dj right right but i knew who that was before him so i go to say what up because i literally did marshmallows cooking show on youtube right and i was like what's up man he's like hey like a fan but he didn't want to be like outed and i was like we follow each other and he's like and i was like i'm gonna go to the bathroom yeah it was really
Starting point is 00:27:00 awkward well he's a very unique one too because he Yeah, he didn't want to be like, who does he think I am? I don't know. That was like a Nick Cage you just did. Could be. Who does he think I am? Who does he think I am? I don't know. It's just like you get wrapped up in it.
Starting point is 00:27:15 Because in my head, I'm like, if you follow me, we're boys. For sure. I think the same thing. My mom follows me. We're boys. Or even around guys where they're like, dude, this chick followed me. And he's like, dude, she's into you. Yes. Yeah. Right. me were boys you know or even around guys where they're like dude this chick followed me and he's like dude she's into you yes yeah right yeah i remember when we when we had like after our house
Starting point is 00:27:30 party video this like hot influencer followed me and uh and i saw it and i was like i was like messaging i was like dude what do i say like she just followed me and they're like all right they're like i don't know dude just like uh looking it, I'm like, you shouldn't have said anything. That's ridiculous. But when it first happened, you see the paycheck mark. You're like, whoa, she's super hot, and I need to say what's up right now. And then you do, and they're like, thanks. Dude, I messed with Dan Bilzerian.
Starting point is 00:27:58 That one time I was like, are you happy? And then he was with a bunch of girls, and one of them laughed. And then one of the girls that laughed messaged me the next day and was like, hey, I was one of the girls last night. I like your stuff the girls that laughed messaged me the next day and was like, hey, like I said, I was one of the girls last night, like your stuff really funny. So I was trying to play it cool. So I waited six months before I respond.
Starting point is 00:28:10 And then I just went back, sweet. Literally though, in this day and age, she probably still thinks about that message. Oh, you think so? Yes. She's going to DM you back in a year. Girls double what you do. If you text back in six minutes,
Starting point is 00:28:22 she'll take 12. You take 12, she'll take 24. I'll have to let her know I'm wif year up now dude i still show people that that damn blizzard video it's out front of the store it is it was funny watching him in the store watching stand-up comedy what does he laugh at like that was what was so interesting to me is like someone would be like so i got a parking ticket and he was just like what what are you talking about there's no parking attendance on my island. Yeah. That's so funny. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:46 He didn't seem to laugh much. He looked confused for the majority. I could see that. Yeah. It's a lot of just sitting in one place. I feel like anxiety would hit. He's a little more dynamic than that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:54 He's always on the go. And he's like, I haven't shot a gun in an hour. Yeah. I haven't heard a gun go off. Yeah. I need to hear bullets. Yeah. That was so funny when he was at.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Not funny. Oh my God. Wrong way to frame it. But when the horrible Las Vegas shooting happened and then he became like a side story of it because he was there that day oh and he had like guns and was like he was like on video being like someone get me a gun i appreciate it dude i mean not a lot of people in this world would be like fucking it's like dan bazarin and like anybody who supports insane clown posse are like the only people that would like fucking just dive head in for that. You're right. That is pretty admirable that he would run towards the danger.
Starting point is 00:29:28 It's wild. Have you been in many fights and stuff like that? I've been hit, but I've never been in a fight. Who hit you? A bouncer in college one time did. Really? Dude, bouncers are out of control. Dude, I didn't...
Starting point is 00:29:39 Well, the thing is, I didn't know that they could hit you when I was in college. $2 Tuesday, which makes sense. So how bouncers would kick you out in college and I think they do that everywhere they'd be like hey man can I have a word with you outside and I knew what was happening but I'm like I'm playing cool right and he's like yeah just come this way and I was like for sure for sure and then he's like yeah let me talk
Starting point is 00:29:55 to you he opens the door and then he kind of like pushes me out and then he goes like slam the door and I catch the door right here a moment and I fling it back open like nah i'm getting back in this bar and then he does like a flinch at me and then me i just go what and then he just winds up and wow dude i have clock me i have like if you look at the right it's like shout or there's like somewhat of like a scar right here oh he busted you up a little bit it was blood yeah
Starting point is 00:30:18 oh and i left a voicemail at the bar it's so embarrassing i remember i called nobody answered i was like i'm a fucking, so fucking, he hit me. And then all they have to do is like, yeah, he's drunk. I was like, ah. It was just so funny. The next morning, I was like, why did I leave a voicemail? That's hilarious. I'd love to hear that.
Starting point is 00:30:33 I would not. I tried to get into a Vegas strip club when I was 20, and they took my boy's fake ID right in front of me. So I just peeled off and was like, I'm out of here. And then the bouncer was like, show me your ID. Show me your ID. I was like, I'm not coming inside, dude. He's like, show me your ID. And I was like, no. And he's like, show it to me. And I was like, dude, I'm out of here. And then the bouncer was like, show me your ID. Show me your ID. I was like, I'm not coming inside, dude. He's like, show me your ID.
Starting point is 00:30:45 And I was like, no. And he's like, show it to me. And I was like, dude, I'm not going to show it to you. And then, but then I got cocky. He was like, he was like kind of huffed out. He was like, okay, there's nothing I can do. And I went, that's right. And then right when I said that, he went, bang.
Starting point is 00:30:56 He just jabbed me in the throat. And I dropped to the ground. I was like. Yeah, they look for those far up words. They look for those keywords. I was like, oh, I can legally beat his ass now. I think that's what it is. Then that's right.
Starting point is 00:31:07 Top tier. And then my friends picked me up and then he was like, I didn't hit you. And I was like, you didn't hit me. And then they're like, all right, you can leave now. Vegas is so funny. I remember my friend got caught with cocaine in a bathroom at Hakkasan. And the guy was like, you can't come back till tomorrow. Just 24 hours.
Starting point is 00:31:24 Not tonight, but tomorrow yeah i got banned for bringing weed into that place they ban you but then the promoter i was like you need those guys who help you get into clubs oh yeah he was like bro it's not a real ban i'll get you back in in an hour and i was like no no i'll just go somewhere else you brought weed to a club yeah it was aggressive i brought an edible in my pocket and then i always try to be honest they caught me and they're like what is this and i was like weed they're like stay right here we'll be right back yeah and then they watched me outside they're like, what is this? And I was like, weed. They're like, stay right here. We'll be right back. And then they walked me outside. They're like, you can't come back for a year.
Starting point is 00:31:47 Damn, I would not want to be on an edible in a club. I don't know if I could. Dude, sometimes it backfires. Sometimes it gets sideways on you and you get freaking out. But sometimes it can make it all like you can just zoom out of what the experience is and be like, this is just insane in kind of a fun way. Yeah. Do you guys smoke a lot?
Starting point is 00:32:03 I do. I went seven months without but lately i've been smoking a lot yeah do you i go through phases yeah yeah same i like it because it's like a new perspective i feel like if i have like creator's block or like writing or something or sometimes i just like smoke and just let my brain go wherever and usually out of that i'll come up with a few ideas some are trash some are like oh this could be a thing but i like it because it gets me out of my head it feels feels like I'm hanging out with somebody. A different person.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Yeah, exactly. I'm like riffing with myself. Yeah. I think what happens to me, when I start to do it too much, it just changes. I have a new reality. It's like my weed reality. And then I forget what my normal reality is. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Where I'm like, do I? I'm like, oh, I always feel like this. I'm like, no, you always feel like this when you're on weed. But that's not actually how you would normally feel. And that's when I got to switch it up but i actually microdose shrooms today okay like before this yeah do you feel it i feel a little bit of something oh yeah how much did you eat like a stem and a half and like half a cap yeah yeah people are big on the microdose life it's my first time trying oh really yeah nice, I heard you can get little pills. Oh, really?
Starting point is 00:33:05 They grind it up. Yeah. To the kids out there, though, be safe. Don't start doing this at two-year-olds. Yeah, maybe don't. Microdose, yeah. Don't do it. Wait until you have a 401K and then do a microdose.
Starting point is 00:33:15 I'm in my 30s. There you go. I don't know. I don't know. It felt rhythm-wise like it was something else. Yeah. It felt like someone was going to be like, where do you? Yeah, I don't know. It felt rhythm-wise like it was super healthy. Yeah. It felt like somebody was going to be like, where do you? Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:33:28 And at San Jose, were you in a frat? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where would you party? Would you go downtown San Jose, or would you just party in the frat? A lot of the parties at our frat, but when you turn 21, it's like, oh, we're going downtown.
Starting point is 00:33:41 You go downtown? Because once you turn 21, you're like, oh, I'm too old for you peasants. You can't get into a bar yet So you would like do bar shit and then you got on like weekdays and shit. Yeah, right Do you like partying? I've only seen you at one party and it was a we were at a chain smoker chain smokers birthday And then I had a bailout. You were pretty fucked up I was hammered that day but dude you were killing it
Starting point is 00:34:06 was I? you were making out with someone oh turn up hell yeah I remember that we were like Trev yes I do remember that you turned around and you were just like sucking face I was like nice Trev
Starting point is 00:34:21 there's nothing tackier than just being that drunk make out i thought it was awesome there's nothing tackier but there's there's it's enviable too it's very enviable i remember that was the dan band was there right they were playing yeah i think so that was so cool that was really neat that got you erotic yeah because i was drunk and i was like it was this fucking random guy in a car mechanic he goes oh shit yeah um but yeah dude i remember that because that party started in the daytime and i was like dude i like if i drink the day, it takes a while for me to get drunk. I'm sweating, blah, blah, blah. Fast forward.
Starting point is 00:34:50 It's night out and I'm hammered, dude. I fell asleep that night in my clothes, just like sitting on my bed, not under shoes on everything. Love it. And I remember I was like, I talked to the girl next morning. I said, what happened? Like, why didn't we hook up? She's like, you were in my Uber and you said you wanted to just go home alone. I was like, what happened? Like, why didn't we hook up? And she's like, you were in my Uber and you said you wanted to just go home alone.
Starting point is 00:35:07 And I was like, what a bitch Trevor is, dude. But that's probably for the best. Look it up for yourself. Dude, there it is. Yeah. You didn't feel like you had that connection yet. No. I was like, I got to wait until I black out again.
Starting point is 00:35:17 But yeah, I forgot about it. That was tight. That was like my first like LA, LA party, I think. Mine too. Yeah. I've never been to something like that. Yeah. It's where you
Starting point is 00:35:25 like look around because I went with Justin Sherman and he was so drunk I love him he was so funny he was hammered he was the drunk where he comes up and he's like look man I need to talk to you about something like no we talked about this 10 minutes ago yeah yeah yeah yeah um I just remember like looking around and being like oh that's so-and-so oh that's so-and-so oh that's so-and-so and then I'm like why am I saying these things like it doesn't matter yeah like i'm gonna go talk to him you know yeah how do you how do you like the hollywood scene like because personally i've been to like we've been to like that party and stuff and i'm like it's like a cool it's like a novelty but it's not like it's sort of like i kind of always just want to go back to my crew
Starting point is 00:36:02 yeah well that's the thing i think if you're with people you enjoy being around, it's dope because you're having fun at a social event. But if you're by yourself or you're like, so it just depends on the group you're with. Really? It's like, cause it's fun when you know people. It's like,
Starting point is 00:36:16 it's like, I mean, it's like, I remember coming to open mics when I first moved to LA and you don't know anybody. You're like, this isn't fun. Like I'm doing jokes.
Starting point is 00:36:22 I'm bombing. I'm going home. But when you started to go to mics and you would see people, you know like you guys i'd be like oh fuck yeah you know these dudes are here you know and then it's like the more people you know how to play some more fun it is so like in the beginning it's like weird but then we go to a hollywood event it's like oh dude i did a video with that guy oh fucking i met you know her at blank so it starts to become fun right i like being a tourist i don't think i'd ever want to be like a resident where I'm like always going to those things. But like we went to another one.
Starting point is 00:36:49 We went to like Demi Lovato's Halloween. I was the first one there. Okay. Because I was. Yeah, for sure. I was worried we wouldn't get in. So I should have first, but like two hours. Really?
Starting point is 00:36:56 Yeah. And then I ran into her. What'd you do? I just hung out, dude. I just went by the bar and I was like. Yeah. You're a very sociable person though. So it's probably easy.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Yeah. It wasn't that I was, I was feeling myself that night. I was feeling really good. You know, you have those nights where you're just like, dude, I think I got it tonight. I think Demi Lovato's my wife, yeah. Yeah, right. Damn, that's tight. Yeah, but I think-
Starting point is 00:37:12 Sorry, Demi, I know you're going through a hard breakup and stuff, too. But I'm also here for you two hours early. I think what you're saying is true. It's like, you go to a few of those, and they go, oh, you guys are there, right? But if you see the same people every time, it becomes to be like, oh, this person lives for these moments. The Tao, we always do. Tao was a great mic, dude. I loved it.
Starting point is 00:37:30 It was like the closest. I think it's bad. You know what's funny about those mics, too? It was the collision of personalities. You know what I mean? You'd have a few super prim and proper people. You'd have a few psychopaths, and you'd be like,
Starting point is 00:37:40 how are these things going to interact? Right, you would get somebody who got like dared at their office to do stand-up. They have three other coworkers. And and then you get jeff up there who i love watching go up there just fucking laying carousel yeah they unfairly send people to war and then they die and then you pussy artists talk about nonsense about your frappuccinos not made right i don't know we'd always be talking about uh roofing and being on a roof and like
Starting point is 00:38:00 falling off a ladder and talking shit and he'd like point at people like talk shit um yeah like if you didn't do that kind of work he just thought you were like oh yeah biggest bitch yeah but it'd be funny you ever fixed a roof bar you're like not dude there's no men anymore they don't have to fix a tire i've been in eight firefights god yeah and then the next person going up would be like so my cat purrs a little too loud i would hate following carousels because he'd be like you like, you're just a fucking white boy. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. But then you come on his side, and he's like, no, you're good. You're serious.
Starting point is 00:38:30 Yeah, I know. He's a sweet guy. It was a good mixture, though, because the owners would be in the back and be like, well, we kind of want your $5. So just chill a little. But the group, they wouldn't turn anybody away unless it was crazy insane. But that one was a little more off the map. So then you'd find the Marty's people who would find out about that and be like, yo,
Starting point is 00:38:50 I'm about to turn this bitch to a 10. But yeah, I like that mic because it was honest. It was feedback. It was dope. And you started to see a lot of people that- Good balance. Yeah, I remember seeing you guys there and Maddie Chimber was there a lot. Just random people who are still doing it, which is tight to see those people doing it.
Starting point is 00:39:02 The only mic where you could actually get audience participation. Yeah. Where you're like, okay, this is a mic where I can go to where I think people will be laughing. Yeah, they would laugh. That's true. It was always a good room. No, I liked it.
Starting point is 00:39:16 It was definitely a commitment, though. You had to get there early, sign up, wait, go get food, come back. But that was like you'd spend a couple hours doing that. But it was worth it. Because if you left there feeling like you crushed, you get food, come back. But that was like, you'd spend a couple hours doing that. But it was worth it. Because if you left there feeling like you crushed, you're like, whoa, should I shoot a special at that place? Yeah. I always think shooting a special in front of just a couple people
Starting point is 00:39:33 would be more preferable for me. A thing? Yeah. I don't know. I see people doing it in front of 1,200 people. That's just insane because there's no read on what's happening. That's what I mean, yeah. It just feels different than regular stand-up. Yeah, I feel like something like the size of the OR would be great because there's no like read on like what's happening. That's what I mean. Yeah. It just feels different than regular standup.
Starting point is 00:39:46 Yeah. I feel like something like the size of the OR would be great because it's personal. There's connectivity. And it's still like when a joke lands, it's loud as fuck. You still get a big laugh. Yeah. Exactly. But like when Birded is in an arena, I'm like, how do you, like you're not connecting with
Starting point is 00:40:00 anybody. You're, but I mean, he's just so funny that like he doesn't need that. The material stands alone. Yeah, exactly. And that's really what it is he's a fucking professional he just talks and then the audience is like we listen but i like to be like feel like the zone that i'm in right wait so are you doing driving shows right now that's a mixture of all types of shit i've done outside shows uh or i'm going like out of state to do clubs that are like half capacity, which those are great because any comedy club that's like half capacity, but seated,
Starting point is 00:40:30 right? Like not like, cause if it was usually half capacity, it'd just be up front and be like, no, like, like back and forth of like the laughter. But like with this is dope because it's like they seat it fully,
Starting point is 00:40:40 but there's gaps in between tables. So it's just like, it feels like a normal show. So it's been really fun to do it. But you got to go to states like Wisconsin or like Indiana to do it. But it's tight. And then some outside shit. What about you guys?
Starting point is 00:40:54 Nah, no stand-up. We haven't done any stand-up in like seven. We're doing a show like November 14th in San Diego. Wales, Virginia. Yeah. Oh, what are you guys doing for it? I was just down in San Diego and it was like, there's this beach show that I was supposed to do, and then the cops just drove on the beach, and we're like, no.
Starting point is 00:41:10 Yeah. Really? Wow. That's pretty exciting. Did you think about leading a revolution, like standing up to the cops? No, I was like, we should have said it was like a memorial, but like, dude, this is for the dead homie, and then they're like, oh, this is awkward. They're like, sorry, we're shutting your show down.
Starting point is 00:41:21 You're like, don't say sorry to us. Say sorry to Kevin. Then we just pointed at the sky. Oh, that's a smart move we should have but then they didn't but um just start chanting a random name at cops kevin yeah exactly what's going on yeah kevin was died because he was hit by a cop car but that's fine we'll shut it down for you guys where are you guys doing your show i don't know it's a it's a drive-in one right yeah are you guys they laugh do they honk i've done a few driving ones it's awkward so what
Starting point is 00:41:45 you the best advice i got was from uh dave williamson yeah he was doing burke christian shit and he's like just look for or like listen for like pockets like if there's a car up front that like laughs a lot just judge all your stuff you mean honks a lot well sometimes they have their like windows rolled down so like that's kind of like or they'll like sit on your on their hood because each car is like just like located like a certain area so they like sit outside and like but i also did one was just horns and honking it's weird but you also just like you just do it you could play with that a little bit a little bit yeah nice honk or oh yeah like you honked it'll just get fucking heckled by a civic and it's like everybody gets that it's hard, you know?
Starting point is 00:42:26 So I thought it was, are you guys doing like one-on-one or like a two-man show? One-on-one. But we're going to pull up in Chad's lifted Ford Ranger onto the stage. That's fucking tight. Yeah. And you guys are obviously headlining it, yeah? I think so. It's our face on the promotional stuff.
Starting point is 00:42:41 Yeah. As you can tell, we're really detail-oriented guys. I know. I'm like trying to set you guys up for a shameless plug on the 14th. You're like, what's it called again? Where can we get tickets? Is the crowd at the clubs that you're doing, does it feel like you're getting the anti-mask people as your crowd now versus what it would be ordinarily?
Starting point is 00:43:11 I don't it's hard to say because the states i've been to are like states you think wouldn't wear a mask you know like wisconsin i thought would be like very fuck it they kind of laugh about it so everybody has to wear a mask into the club then once they're seated they take it off so i don't really know and i don't meet the people after just because obviously i'm not going to take pictures with like hundreds of people after this shit smart yeah so i don't really know i don't really know and i don't meet the people after just because obviously i'm not going to take pictures with like hundreds of people after this shit smart yeah so i don't really know i don't really get engaged on the audience i kind of just pull up do the shit go to the green room chill once people leave go back out nice but um yeah you can imagine there's a little bit some people are still like sitting in the crowd with their masks on when they're seated but for the most part like even the people who i'm sure you guys know who are like very like scared
Starting point is 00:43:43 of like Corona, not leaving the house, like Lysol and their bag of chips and everything. Even those people have started to like loosen up. I was that person. Yeah. And now a lot of people knew somebody. Now I'm doing this.
Starting point is 00:43:53 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, um, yeah, it was to the point where like, even like my like best friend, like I was like,
Starting point is 00:43:58 Hey, he got a new puppy. I was like, can I come by and see it? He's like, we can like FaceTime. I was like, I just want to like be outside and see your dog.
Starting point is 00:44:02 He's like, Oh, he wouldn't even do an outside hand. No. See, I'm at the point now where I'm like outside hangs. I'm like, I'm want to be outside and see your dog. He's like, I don't want to. Oh, he wouldn't even do an outside hang? No. See, I'm at the point now where I'm like, outside hangs, I'm totally kosher with. And I just keep my distance and just throw an elbow bump. Yeah. And that's it.
Starting point is 00:44:12 But even now, that guy, he was actually in Salt Lake at the same time as me when I was doing shows out there. And then we went to a club after. So people, even the craziest people I know are loosening up. You went to a nightclub? It was like a bar. Nightclub is such an antiquated term, too. It is.
Starting point is 00:44:27 You think of just like One Oak and then European techno music. Yeah, exactly. Have you guys ever seen Super Troopers? Yes. When they're pulling up in that song. Be-dum-bum-bum-ba-beam-bum-bum-bum-bow-wow. That one? Dude, I just got into the groove.
Starting point is 00:44:40 I love that song. Holy shit, man. Yeah, it might be the microdose. Holy shit, dude. Yeah, that was different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But but yeah i don't know i i'm just waiting for like southern california shit to open up i guess but like people are running like bootleg shows right now it's really funny dude i've been uh i've been rallying for disneyland i've been hitting some protests and disney i want
Starting point is 00:44:59 disneyland to open dude i saw a picture on like twitter the other day there's people like boycotting out front they're like, Elsa says open up. And I'm like, this is hilarious. That's me. Is that you? I'm out there, dude. Are you guys going to do it? With my Mickey ears.
Starting point is 00:45:09 Really? On an Apple box. Fighting for my rights. On an Apple box. Chad didn't want to be filmed because he was so emotional. Wait, did you actually do it? Yeah. And he was so emotional.
Starting point is 00:45:19 He was like, don't film me because it's too much passion. I feel that, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Space Mountain needs to open.'s why i said did you guys do a video for disneyland we're gonna we're gonna definitely but we we need chad to like get it yeah yeah i can't i can't you know it's it's you know there's few things i cannot be light-hearted about and at this moment i just can't be light-hearted about disneyland i feel that man it's it's a big one they are open though right or no no where are
Starting point is 00:45:48 people I'm Disney World maybe in Florida Florida's just fucking open yeah Florida's popping off dude Florida is open Florida's like we're doing comedy clubs at 90 capacity I'm like just do 100 what is the fucking 10 gonna save right you save a two top in the back yeah yeah what's a two-top table oh nice sounds like a tube top it's good jargon dude two-top yeah yeah sorry you know he's throwing out like film jargon i was just throwing out like table jargon i love it are you starting to get more sort of like do you have like a writer now when you go to oh like what i demand in a comic club yeah it's just like i literally just like can there just be iced coffee that'sced coffee. Big coffee guy. Love it. Nice. All about it.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Because I'd rather go up on stage like hungry, haven't eaten in an hour, and then just riddled with caffeine, you know? Because I hate eating before. It slows you down. It slows you down. You just like feel. There's nothing worse than feeling like a bacon cheeseburger in the back of your throat when you're being like, America's crazy, huh? And then just like.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Why is performance better when you're a little hungry? We did a city council speech like a week ago, and I ate a big fat godmother sandwich beforehand. And I was like, oh, I don't feel like talking anymore. I think it makes you more focused. Yeah. Your body's just not. Heightened senses. Heightened senses because if you, to get into like the whole like intermittent fasting thing,
Starting point is 00:46:58 when you eat that sort of, all your energy sort of goes towards the digestion and sort of your body's like signal to like relax, like, all right, focus on digesting the food. But when you're, when you haven't eaten for a while, your body's a little bit more alert.
Starting point is 00:47:10 Like I need to get this food. It's rest time. Yeah. When you, after you eat lunch, I'm like the whole, my whole day is fucked. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:18 What do you do? Diet? Not really. You eat ice cream a lot. Sometimes I like ice cream. I had ice cream last night. Yeah. What about you guys? What's your guilty pleasure in the sweet? I like ice cream a lot? Sometimes. I like ice cream. I had ice cream last night. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:26 What about you guys? What's your guilty pleasure in the sweets? I like ice cream. I like chocolate. I like ice cream. Solid. Dude, I love all that shit. I just never grew it.
Starting point is 00:47:34 I just like chips. I love tortilla chips. Okay. Good tortilla chips and salsa is great. It's the best. You go to a good Mexican restaurant and they have good salsa and chips. I'm like, fuck the burrito, dude. When we're Southern California guys, too. It's kind of in the DNA.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. How do you guys feel about california burritos you guys on deck french fries yeah yeah big fan yeah great i was just yeah san diego the show got canceled but i got some fire tacos i was like i don't even give a fuck about the show getting canceled last time i went to san diego to get tacos i went to a place that wasn't that good and i was like what are the chances dude you gotta just call the owner and be like shut dude you gotta move to like escondido or something embarrassment to encinitas yeah i was like get out of town get out of here dude holy shit you ever you ever had wiener wiener circle no there's one in chicago it's called wiener circle it's like iconic like back before like pc movement was like insane you they like
Starting point is 00:48:20 they cuss at you they're like they get mad at you okay i've seen part of this yeah yeah and then they went there for like an episode of Insomnia. There's a thing that you could use to do. This was like five years ago, but way back before the world wasn't so agitated with just doing anything wrong. But you could give them $20 and it's called a milkshake. And they'd turn the lights on and off and they'd flash their tits at you. They can't do that anymore.
Starting point is 00:48:44 I don't believe so. There's a bar I used to go to in my hometown that had pictures of boobs all over the men's bathroom and then they had pictures of dicks all over the women's bathroom. Got new ownership.
Starting point is 00:48:54 All the photos are gone. Yeah, it's kind of terrifying for the girls. You're just like trying to pee and there's just hella dicks looking at you. Right. I mean, I don't know
Starting point is 00:48:59 if they enjoyed it as much. Live chat. My mom loved it. My mom would be like, I'm taking friends to Swallows to show them the bathroom. It's called Swallows? That makes sense.
Starting point is 00:49:06 Because the birds, the birds fly to San Juan Capistrano, although they stopped doing that San Juan Capistrano. Yeah. Where is that? It's a- I've only heard it in movies. Right next to San Clemente. San Juan Capistrano.
Starting point is 00:49:15 I just pick another obscure landmark to compare it to. It's right next to the 76 off the 7. You're like, what the fuck? It's right where El Adobe is, if you want to get speaking of Mexican food. Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah. No, so it's like South Orange County. That's where I grew up the majority of my life.
Starting point is 00:49:29 Great name to it. It sounds like just like you're made of like, you have suits made of like prosciutto. Just Adobe all over me. San Juan Capistrano. Just clay. I'm just made of this really beautiful red clay. Yeah. Did you guys ever go to missions growing up?
Starting point is 00:49:42 I think I would have won, dude. Mission San Juan Capistrano is a classic one. You have a mission in your- There's a mission there. My friends went to Mission Parish School. Fuck. Well, now they're, you know, my school that I went to is J. Sarah High School, named after the famous-
Starting point is 00:49:56 J. Sarah. Father who, you know, took, father in the Catholic sense, who went through California and built all the missions. But now, you know, they're doing a little bit of a reevaluation of him. A little bit of imperialism, a little bit of slave labor. Uh-oh. Are they taking down the statues? I think so.
Starting point is 00:50:12 Damn, dude. They took them down somewhere. Yeah, they took them down in middle California. Dude, that's, that's, yeah. Damn, what do you do? You're just like dead and they're like, fuck that dead guy. Dude, I think at some point you just say sayonara to these people. You're like, bro, you had a good run.
Starting point is 00:50:23 Time for new statues. We gave you statues. We respected you for 300 years. Put George Foreman up there. We got to reevaluate you. Yeah, we're going to put George Foreman up there. Great girls. Yeah, are these statues being replaced?
Starting point is 00:50:33 I think so. They need to be. At some point. Yeah, because they got to. It's a perfect place for it. What are you going to put, like a fucking Starbucks right there? Yeah, they got to put something there to inspire us. I mean, they can't just take down statues.
Starting point is 00:50:43 You know, something's got to be there in its place, right? Right. I like statues. Who's the biggest celebrity that thinks that deserves a statue? Dax Shepard. Okay. I don't like Dax Shepard that much, but I feel like everyone likes him. Everyone agrees.
Starting point is 00:50:56 I think I probably don't like him because we have similarities. Yeah. Really? What are your similarities? I think we both try to be like sensitive guys. Yeah. And so with him- Does he know you guys have beef?
Starting point is 00:51:05 No, no. You should DM him. I know. It's quarantine. He's on a higher platform. Nah, dude. I think to me, it's like. He'll see it.
Starting point is 00:51:10 You're verified. I see in him the bullshit in myself. So it frustrates me. But it seems like he's doing a good thing. Yeah. Okay. But so he could get a statue. Got you.
Starting point is 00:51:19 And then he could go to Biden and have mixed conflicted feelings about it. Yeah. I think I have an issue too with, with any, like, couple, like, celebrity couple where they're... Successful? Yeah, where they're just, their brand is, like, that they're happy together. Puts you in a tough spot.
Starting point is 00:51:33 Yeah. Because you've got to love them. That's what I mean. Forever. You're like, are they doing it for the camera or for real life, dude? Sometimes they have to be doing it for the camera. They have to.
Starting point is 00:51:42 Yeah. That's just the job. Yeah, I mean, I have tons of trust issues because of camera. They have to. Yeah. That's just the job. I have tons of trust issues because of Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson. I'm reading her book right now. That's interesting. I thought that was forever. I thought K-Fed was in forever too. Dude.
Starting point is 00:51:56 Oh, when they did their videos together? Dude, Kevin Federline and Bea Spears. I thought this was like locked in. I almost got a Kevin Federline tattoo. She was quietly candid about why she liked him though. I think he was throwing some really good dong. It has to be. She'd be like, he really just lights me on fire sexually. I don't think she used those
Starting point is 00:52:11 words. That's more of my language, but that's what she, yeah, you can see it. I think that's what Cape Fence did. You can hear it in her songs. You can just see it in Cape Fence too. You just remember like, what's the hook? You're like, oh, this guy, this guy's a sensual. Do you guys ever see the Toxic music video? Oh, dude. Have you seen it?
Starting point is 00:52:26 Dude, when I was a young lad and that came out, I swore, like somebody told me there was like kind of a nip slip in there. Yeah. I lost it. I was like, run that back again. Dude, when I was a kid, I had a little, a little poster from the state fair of Britney in like a pink outfit and jeans. Wow.
Starting point is 00:52:42 Her VMA performances too would just be like electric. She had like a snake on her. You're like, why is that hot? Yeah. It's hot. You see that random snake in public and you're like, fuck. You see it on her and you're like, I want to fuck. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:54 I guess the fact that she could have this big anaconda on her shoulder, she's pretty strong, and then she's still dialed enough to perform well. That's crazy. That's not what it was, but now that's what it is. But also that's crazy. As an adult who respects professionalism. Learn this dance. Also have something that could kill you on your back. I don't know how that makes sense.
Starting point is 00:53:09 And then sometimes it backfires. You look at Siegfried and Roy, fucking guy. I mean, he was playing with fire for 30 years, but one of his own tigers attacked him. And he says the tiger actually sensed that he was sick, and that's why he attacked him. He's like, it's your time to die? No, he's like, you need to go get your lungs checked out. So I'm just going to slash your throat so you get there quicker. Is this real?
Starting point is 00:53:24 That's what he says. I mean, he passed away, but that's what he said. Wow. Do you remember the I'm a slave for you music video? Yeah, dude. I do not. What? Do we should watch it?
Starting point is 00:53:34 Can we? Yeah, sure. Is that copyright? I don't know if we should watch it right now, but yeah, let's watch it right now. Oh, yeah. Does that fuck with... Aaron, does that fuck with the... I'm a huge Joe Rogan fan.
Starting point is 00:53:43 You can't watch music videos. Yeah, I don't think you can. Should we just put up an image? Can we put up an image, Aaron? does that fuck with the... I'm a huge Joe Rogan fan. You can't watch music videos. Yeah, I don't think you can. Should we just put up an image? Can we put up an image, Aaron? Probably do an image. The toxic one changed my life, dude. That was like, I remember I was like, is this what an erection feels like?
Starting point is 00:53:56 Yeah. Yeah. If somebody's like, what does it feel like to lose your virginity? It's like watching the toxic music video for the first time. How was losing your virginity? Was that a good experience?
Starting point is 00:54:02 It was cool. The girl had already had sex. I hadn't. Right. So I just remember afterwards asking, like, how did I do? Which I don't think is kosher. Bro, first time I lost my virginity, I was like 24. How many times have you lost your virginity? Right.
Starting point is 00:54:14 Good call. I'm just kidding. You were 24? I'm 24. I was old. And then the girl, I was so nervous, right? I actually borrowed a Viagra from my mom. And then the girl, yeah, my mom's chill.
Starting point is 00:54:24 No, no, no. You took a Viagra for your first time yeah bro that's commitment dude i was a little light-headed but i was yeah but i didn't need it i hadn't i was yeah dude you had 24 year old testosterone yeah and i wasn't masturbating at the time i hadn't come in like a while it's a whole bag of shit i'm like a sex addict i watch too much porn i really had to decompress uh from all that so me and her do it and then i i'm sorry if this is braggy but she said she had an orgasm but i was so insecure from listening to love line where girls would always call him like my boyfriend can't give me an orgasm and i was like no you didn't and they didn't believe it
Starting point is 00:54:53 yeah and she was like no i did i was like you don't have to lie to me and then which made it so awkward and not fun for her she was like babe like you're really being weird and i was like i'm sorry and then i just had to take a lap am i being weird you look at the window who are you being weird right yeah yeah and you're in a room together you don't know who really being weird. And I was like, I'm sorry. And then I just had to take a lap. Am I being weird? You look out the window. Who are you being weird? Right, yeah. And you're in a room together. You don't know who's being weird. There's no one else to weigh in. That's really funny.
Starting point is 00:55:10 I almost called my mom back and was like, yo, am I being weird or is she being weird? Do you think she had an orgasm? That's valid, though. My mom was like, she for sure had an orgasm. I don't know what to say. I was just like, how did I do? And then she was like, what? I was like, oh, I was a virgin.
Starting point is 00:55:23 Did you cum? Yeah. All right. Yeah, I thought a virgin. Did you cum? Yeah. All right. Yeah, I thought I did, but I was just making sure it wasn't an earthquake or something. Then you walk over to your calendar, like Jerry Seinfeld marking off days where he did stand-up, you put an X on it. Yeah, yeah. Mission accomplished.
Starting point is 00:55:36 It is awkward, because then afterwards I was like, oh. I'm going to just go. Right. What about you? What age were you at? 17. Legend, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:45 She's a Chinese princess. Nice. That's not exaggeration. That's, like, genuinely her heritage. Yeah. What's she up to now? Just being a princess somewhere? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:55:55 You ever check back in? I think she lives in the Bay. She's the one responsible for booting the NBA out of there for a while. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, pay her homage, you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:04 I wanted to have a podcast for like our podcast on Patreon. Like when we hit a certain number, it's like, we should interview the girls we lost
Starting point is 00:56:11 our virginities to. But it's like, these women are so like, they just, they like have families at this point. Like the girl I lost my virginity to
Starting point is 00:56:18 has like a husband and like a five-year-old. Really? She needs the excitement. Yeah. What am I going to be like, hey, you want to fucking do
Starting point is 00:56:23 an episode of Stiff Socks, which also comes out on Wednesday? You want to do an episode of Stiff Socks, which also comes out on Wednesday? You want to do an episode of Stiff Socks where we're talking about you getting fucked by this two-minute dick? She's like... She'll be into it. You think?
Starting point is 00:56:33 Yeah, because I think she probably wants a little bit of that excitement. But it's like having talks has gone on years. Well, you've got to throw it at her nice, but yeah. How do you set that up? Hey, hope you're doing well in these tough times. Family looks beautiful. COVID.
Starting point is 00:56:44 Family looks beautiful. Would you like to do a quick recap of our little sexual recap is good there you go i like that yeah that is a way better way to put it i just remember using like a planned parenthood condom which uh those don't do well oh they're not solid it was just like it was a glow in the dark i was like this is a weird way to lose it because two cons i was more busy looking at the condom than her and i I was like, this is not good. Yeah. Have you ever had to rock a Magnum? Once.
Starting point is 00:57:09 It wasn't a proud moment to me. It was like. You're swimming in it a bit, but it still works. Yeah. It's like, you know, you see a shirt you really like, but it's a little big and you're like, it'll shrink in the dryer and it doesn't. And then you're stuck with it, dude. There's also a moment when you're at a friend's house and you see his condom drawer and their
Starting point is 00:57:24 Magnums and you don't know that he's got a big dick until this moment. Dude. Oh, you got to. Oh, you fucking with it, dude. There's also a moment when you're at a friend's house and you see his condom drawer and they're magnums. And you don't know that he's got a big dick until this moment. You're like, oh, you got a. You fucking lay hog, dude. Oh, you got a pipe, dude? That happened in college. I remember I asked the neighbor in the frat, the door down. I was like, yo, I'm going to go check out how to borrow a condom. He's like, yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 00:57:38 And he hands me a magnum. At that point, I wanted to just be like, I'm good, man. I'm going to just use a Ziploc bag. Or is this a bit? Are you doing a bit? Exactly. Because I wanted to be like, all right, i'm gonna just use a ziploc bag or is this a bit are you doing a bit exactly yeah because i wanted to be like all right let me see it are you for real packing that like let me know what's really going on down there that's the thing it's like once i see the magnum i gotta see what goes inside of it i'm like bro you got a big dick and you've been
Starting point is 00:57:56 holding out on me you haven't let me seen this is it like girthy or is it lengthy yeah like we talk about my friends who have big dicks constantly because they're just so when you look at them you're just like whoa it also has to fit the vibe like if you've got magnums but you're like you can't put up two plates on bench bro what are we talking yeah god doesn't give anyone everything do you wish you could be a magnum guy sometimes uh i i'll probably just to say it i mean the thing is is like i've read something online's like, because we had the same talk on our podcast, where it's like, they're not actually longer. It's just like the-
Starting point is 00:58:30 The girth. The girth. The girth. Yeah. The girth. Good word. Let me ask you guys this. So when you throw away condoms, do you roll it all the way to the bottom?
Starting point is 00:58:37 No. Before you throw it away? No, I just throw them away. You know what? I leave them out for a while, too. Let them dehydrate like some sun-dried tomatoes? I invite people over. I'm like, oh, sorry.
Starting point is 00:58:45 I'm like shrapnel from all the bottom. Yeah, it is pretty awesome having a wrapper that's been torn by your bed. And you're like, whoops, forgot to clean. It's a family thing. Look what the wind knocked in. Yeah. Sorry, I just had sex earlier. That's from last night.
Starting point is 00:59:04 It is a funny moment when you just see an empty condom. I don't know why. Everybody knows that people have sex, but when you see the condom next to your friend's dresser, you're like, oh, this guy fucks. There's something about it where you're like, oh, nice. Your premise for your video the other day about guys after they have sex. Oh, like going into the office? Dude, it's so true because I have friends, they'd walk in and they'd just feel like the
Starting point is 00:59:23 weight of the world on their shoulders. And then the day after they had sex, they'd're like, hey, what's up, man? They're just so pumped. They're just walking. It's the same feeling you have if you ever work out before work. You're on cloud nine and then 2 p.m. hits and you're fucking out. But you walk in, you're fucking just finger pissing on everybody. What's up?
Starting point is 00:59:38 It's just a different feeling of I'm crushing the day. Gary Vee is like, get up at 6 a.m. Fucking write your to-do list. I'm like, nah, get up at 6 a.m. Fucking write your to-do list. I'm like, nah, get up at 6 a.m. Fuck some ass, dude. Get into it. Dude, I think the best reality TV show is literally just Facebook. I just go on there and just see what people from my hometown are up to,
Starting point is 00:59:53 and I love it. They're either starting beef or telling people why they need to sign up for something. I love it. It's great. Yeah, fighting on there is pretty interesting. When we're, like, just like when Ernie Stone used to like take it to some people from the open mic scene. Oh, dude, there's nothing more than LA comedy scene, that Facebook page.
Starting point is 01:00:11 When people pop off on there, it's like, I'll read all of them. I love it. It's so, yeah. Dude, but speaking of like nothing really in particular, I want to talk to you. I feel like competitive with you sometimes. With me? Yeah. Even though you're so like monstrously successful.
Starting point is 01:00:24 It's like, I just, I know sometimes I'm like, and I'm always impressed by like your work ethic and the stuff you put out. But I do like sometimes I'm like, man, I want to beat this guy. I can see that. Yeah. I, I, I, but I also feel like when you guys popped, I was like, your guys' growth rate was going crazy. So I was also like, what the fuck are they doing that I'm not doing?
Starting point is 01:00:42 You know, it's like, so it's all like, you're always going to look around you. You know, you always look kind of like, well, yeah. Well, cause I think we both kind of started at the same ground zero, right? We were both. And you gave us some help and like some tips and stuff on stuff too. Like we just not like super formally, but just like Tao just shit and shit. Yeah. It is just weird seeing a bunch of people, like we all started in the open mic scene.
Starting point is 01:01:03 Right. And then you see somebody started to take off and you'd be like why the fuck you know Cuz then you go back to like one funnier I saw a bomb last weekend at fucking you know, whatever this place is and then you start like going like logistics or whatever, but It is weird when you see somebody pop off because you're like really this is the dude that The environment picked to like do that So I don't know i kind of the best i've ever felt about my career is when i just started focusing on like my own shit really
Starting point is 01:01:29 because then it was like you know i'm not worried about like outside voices or anything so i kind of like that but um i do i do see i'm sure there's comics out there that are like fuck this kid he's not funny whatever it's just like i don't know i guess i'm just competitive i think there's two ways to look at it it's like you can either think of it as like competitive or you can but it's also like eye-opening be like oh it can happen This is this is how it happens like right this could be possible. Yeah, yeah And that if they can do it I can do it exactly Yeah That's kind of like how I would like talk to like the homies and be like dude like I just kept a schedule of posting
Starting point is 01:01:59 I tried different shit And then this is how it happens and as you guys know like you posted videos that you're like this is gonna bang and then It flops and then you've posted some shit. We're like yeah, it's a normal video and then the internet's like this is how it happens. And as you guys know, like you've posted videos that you're like, this is gonna bang and then it flops. And then you've posted some shit where you're like, yeah, it's a normal video and then the internet's like, this is God's work.
Starting point is 01:02:10 So that's all I've been doing. Like I don't know what, like how, like it's just consistency and like trial and error. Yeah, it's kind of, you just push each other up. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:02:18 And it's just like, it all balances out. And like the hardest thing is like a video like blows up and then you're like, fuck, what do I put next? And then that video bombs and you're like, it's just like going back and forth on it so like I don't like I have like my best practices or what I can like try to do and all that shit but like
Starting point is 01:02:32 My job before I like quit and just did comedy full-time was doing social media for a company So like I just like studied the fuck. Yeah, did that help you a lot? I think so I think it made me understand why videos would do well on twitter and not facebook and why videos on facebook would do well but not on you know just like kind of like understand the internet really well so like i was just posting every day for this company the same video but on different formats so i'd see why shit would do well so you're literally doing controlled experiment on like what the sensibility is yeah 100 so it was kind of like taking notes you were like okay like no cheerfulness works on instagram like it's more so just like you just take a mental note like you're like i've posted enough on a
Starting point is 01:03:08 facebook and be like okay this video works because it gets right into it versus like youtube's more patient but instagram you're scrolling so quick like start the video like now whatever the video is about started now no intro no fucking cool shot of like a time lapse of the sun coming up like this isn't you know it's not like an episode of survivor or something back from the commercial break is people like want it now instagram what's that oh you're saying on instagram instagram especially tiktok all that shit but like just kind of like people just like just look at how fast people scroll it's just like you should like you know it's crazy it's fucked even like crazy viral shit like you'll see on your feed like one or two times before you're actually like all right now let me watch it
Starting point is 01:03:44 four people have shared it then i'll watch it but like just look at how fast like random people scroll and like you're like oh i got i have to compete with somebody with no headphones on who scrolls this quick do you ever see people like doing your style a hundred percent a lot of people have it's fucking annoying comics too yeah like people that are like no have you had any conversations no because it's just like it's almost as like biggest Flat where the fuck does that go? invitation invitation biggest former flattery and it's like it's annoying because like these are dudes who I know and like I've seen their style go From very much like their own to like 100% mine
Starting point is 01:04:16 It's like all the white like Instagram comedians like are like tailoring though like quick one-liners with the zoom ins and I'm not saying like I invented that like It kind of like you you can see where it comes from it's just like annoying because you're like fuck dude but like again you know i didn't create this style like i was influenced by other people in the future too or in the past too so it's like it's just annoying though because it's like very invisible change and you're like but the only reason i see it is like because people tag me and be like yo this is literally trevor wallace 2.0 or like Walmart Trevor. And I'm just like, bye.
Starting point is 01:04:47 But then again, you don't want to be known to be a knockoff of somebody. Like if somebody started doing like what you guys did, people would be like, this is Chad Goes Deep. Have you guys had people do that? There's a guy like a month or two ago who like went to a city council. Dude, I saw that. Of a chicken wing guy. Of a chicken wing guy.
Starting point is 01:05:04 And you know, I don't know if he's seen our stuff or not. I mean, he had to have. Anybody that does, like, gets footage from a council, like, the fact that you guys figured out how to do that is legendary. But other people had done it before, to be fair. But thank you. But you guys went in character and you did that. Like, it's a very, like, you guys kind of like.
Starting point is 01:05:24 I don't understand. But you guys just, you went in there and you did that. Like, it's a very, like, you guys kind of like. I don't understand. But you guys just, you went in there and you just, like, just, like, didn't take no for an answer. And you're like, you're going to hear what I have to say because this is my time. So, like, it's kind of like they. Yeah. They had to have.
Starting point is 01:05:37 Those videos did crazy numbers. Yeah. With that one, it was sort of like, I was like, people were like, people were half like, yo, this is, he's taking your style. like, people were like, people were half like, yo, this is, he's taking your style. And other people were like, you need to work with this guy. That's also true.
Starting point is 01:05:52 People were taking my shit, but you should work with this guy. It's like, I don't want to work with somebody who's taking my style. Oh, the people that I'll get comped to too. I'm like, you think I'm like that person? Oh yeah. I don't do what that person does. Yeah. But that's just in my head because it's like, it's all the same shit.
Starting point is 01:06:04 Yeah. And even that chicken wing guy, I was kind of judgy of him. I was like, oh, no, I don't think that's how it works. I mean, yeah, mine are way better. Yeah. I'm still like an undercover competitive. There's just this rage inside of me. But then the part of me is I was just trying to be like kind of spiritual about it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:21 Not spiritual, but just more just like you know there's like this is what you know it's like uh it's flattering and uh and also all the best to him yeah because like it could because you kind of just have to like which is so hard to think but then you just have to think like there's room for everybody yeah which is like exactly that's what you have it's that's a hard concept to grasp it is because like there's been times where this one dude literally took my entrepreneur character verbatim on TikTok and I wrote out the words nice, dot, dot, dot.
Starting point is 01:06:52 And then I was like, why am I going to copy this? Why am I going to click sign? What is this going to do for me? Give me a little bit of dopamine? Yeah, I'm fucking superior. But I just didn't say anything. Also, you don't want to be that guy online who's really petty.
Starting point is 01:07:08 They're taking my style. The Hollywood's coming after me. I don't and it's like also you don't want to be like a guy online who's like really petty like they're taking my style yeah they're the hollywood's coming after me good to foster that so yeah exactly you just don't want people to be like oh what trevor posts on this story and then you're just yelling at some random kid who's like yeah i'm a fan dude what do you want me to do i'm sorry yeah do you respond to people when they talk shit not anymore i think in the early on days i would i get a kick out of it and a lot of times they'll they'll come around like you know 100 i used to to DM people back and I'd be like hey man I saw you commented that I should go eat shit and dies or reason you know like that video Because then they're like oh, I don't think you're responding my friend message that yeah, you're actually pretty funny I was drunk and I love you and I bought a t-shirt, you know
Starting point is 01:07:40 Yeah, yeah So it is because like I think people talk shit in the comments like they're in there just yelling in a forest and they don't expect anybody to hear it yeah and you're just like i'm right here yeah yeah so dude i'm sorry we kind of went over a little bit but do you have time to just answer a couple listeners yeah let's let's do it man okay cool um we'll get into boom clap i hope this message finds you well and you're stoked at an all-time high i'm so thankful for your pod as a way to soak up good vibes a lot of laughs and the pov of some solid bros a few months ago i left an eight-year relationship, a high-paying but unfulfilling job, and moved 1,000 miles across the country so I'd be closer to family
Starting point is 01:08:11 and revamp my life. I live with my parents in a small town and not looking to break quarantine anytime soon, but I would like to ease into meeting new people and practice conversation skills. Is there a non-creepy way of putting myself out there? I lack self-confidence and I'm shy about certain aspects of my life, which would be considered a turnoff. For example, being a vegan and straight edge. Is it rude to be on dating apps if you're looking for something serious? Is it worth it if I don't know where I'll be geographically in a year?
Starting point is 01:08:35 Much appreciation for letting me pick your brains. And it's a lady. It's a lady. I, uh... No, I think you're good. I think you might be being be being like too hard on yourself before you even start like i think i think everybody's a little awkward after this like let's say there's a vaccine or whatever the fuck heart immunity where everybody just has it i think everybody afterwards is gonna be like oh like in coven huh you know right if in like five years are weird it's like
Starting point is 01:09:00 and i think her being vegan and straight edge that that's actually a fast track into making friends. Because then there's like groups for that. And you kind of already have like a shared language and kind of rapport. So, yeah, I think the more defining things like that you can have, the better. I mean, maybe there won't be as many people who feel that way in your small town. But the people who do are going to be really good friends. Yeah, that's true. Maybe hop on chat real quick.
Starting point is 01:09:22 Get the social skills up. Yeah. And then I'm thinking if you're a lady and you want to you go on hinge you'll meet some guys and they'll actually I think they'll be they'll be stoked to show you around my girlfriend said when she moved to Orange County she just said on there like hey I just want people to show
Starting point is 01:09:35 me around and she said a bunch of people just showed her around and it was really nice every day it's like so you just want to see like the zoo like that's it you don't want to see like like anything else and she's like no I'm good okay well that's what I was like i was like in my head i'm like a lot of disappointed dudes but she was like no they were like just stoked to show me around i was like if you got good energy people will kind of match it yeah and she probably could tell before she met up with them that are not just trying to like you know right freaks yeah he wasn't like sitting on the hood
Starting point is 01:10:01 of his like expensive car with like one hand like this and like a perfectly Manicured five o'clock shadow. Yeah, like all those like gold digger videos was my favorite They're like you want to go on a date and girls ignore He's like oh really cuz this is my McLaren and like well, I must go to get coffee with you now Well then in the McLaren it's that one center seat and then the two back seats are behind it Yeah, so she doesn't sit in the middle. She'd have to sit three feet to the right Yeah, it's a joint it back there. It have to sit in the middle? She'd have to sit three feet to the right behind him. It's a jointed back there? It's a seat in the middle? I think so.
Starting point is 01:10:27 I don't even know that. On the famous one, McLaren S1 from like 20 years ago. They probably have newer models that don't do that. It's pretty tight, dude. It's pretty legit. It'd be annoying to give your car to drive-thru workers. You're like, oh, fuck, I gotta stretch. Will you ever have a car that the doors go up like this?
Starting point is 01:10:41 Like the wing style? I don't think so. Really? Because you can only do cool shit. You only look dope getting out of that at valet. But if you're pulling up to TJ Maxx, it style? I don't think so. Really? Because you can only do cool shit. You only look dope getting out of that at valet. But if you're pulling up to TJ Maxx, it's like,
Starting point is 01:10:48 it's so much. Well, I'll tell you what I'm going to get. I'm going to get an orange Toyota Supra. Okay. The exact one from Fast and the Furious 1.
Starting point is 01:10:57 That's pretty tight. That is what I'm going to get. That's pretty sick though. And I'm going to drive that on the PCH. I also think this girl, you had that high paying job, maybe get like a fun car that
Starting point is 01:11:05 sticks out when you go places. That's true. Get like a Mercedes G500, lease it, you know, so you don't got to pay that full ticket price. Do you like those? Nah. They're everywhere in this fucking city. But they stick out. They do.
Starting point is 01:11:16 And then you just get a funky color on it. If you get one of those in Iowa, you'll stick out. Out here, you blend right in. But I think you're going to make friends. It is an awkward time right now. It's hard for people to meet other people, but you just got to put yourself out there, whether it's DMing, dating apps, whatever it is.
Starting point is 01:11:30 You might look goofy once in a while, but I'd have faith in yourself that you're pretty cool and people will recognize that. Yeah, it's a live your life. Like JT said, you're kind of being hard on yourself. I wouldn't worry too much about the rules around dating apps. Just go meet people, have fun, be vegan, straight edge. I love it.
Starting point is 01:11:48 Yeah, you got two lanes. Like you wanna hang out just straight edge or just vegan or both, you know? Dude, my straight edge friends in high school had like 40 year old friends. Because I think if you're like 40 year old straight edge, you don't really do things that other adults do. So you kinda have to hang out with teenagers.
Starting point is 01:12:04 Yeah. Really? I don't know i just go like my friend who was straight edge gonna do it was in a fight and i like helped organize the fight because i thought it'd be a lot of fun do you have to organize the fight the poor kid in my summer school class was like dude i don't think i want to fight him i was like you kind of have to man you use the title card championship yeah i'm like you got he showed up super drunk just got his ass kicked yeah poor guy um but yeah i set up the fight and then when i got there i was like who are all these 40 yearyear-olds? They're like, oh, those are Dave's straight edge buddies.
Starting point is 01:12:27 Yeah. And they just kind of made sure it didn't get too out of control. Yeah. I do think, though, that straight edge nowadays is like a little bit more. If you're in L.A. especially, it's like more normal than people with booze a lot. Right. You're sober. You're just sober.
Starting point is 01:12:41 Yeah. You're not even straight edge. Well, I think the difference between sober and straight edge is it's a little more like I have XX tattooed on my Yeah. Your name is Shady. Well, I think the difference between sober and straight-edged shit is it's a little more like I have XX, you know, like tattooed on the music. It's a little more. But, I mean, they're proud of it
Starting point is 01:12:49 for a good reason, you know. A little Fugazi soundtrack. Yeah, I mean, sober is more just like, oh, yeah, I don't really drink because I just want to focus on my career. But straight-edged is like,
Starting point is 01:12:56 I fucking live, eat, breathe oxygen. You know what gets me off? Oxygen. Life. I come to Sequoia Trees. That's cool. I wish I could. Of all the trees. Yeah. It's a greatoia Trees. That's cool. I wish I could.
Starting point is 01:13:06 Of all the trees. Yeah. It's a great tree to come to. It's kind of the biggest. It's the most magnum of all the trees. I would say so myself, yeah. All right. What's up, Stoke Lords of Dogtown?
Starting point is 01:13:16 Your intellectual guest and the cherry on the milkshake of this pod, Aaron. I write to you guys with great concern about my sister. She's 21 and I am 18. She's been drinking a lot of hard liquor and doing shrooms lately. would totally ask her for some shrooms but there's a problem my sister has an extremely addictive personality like dudes i can't express enough how my sister is the last person in the world who should be on shrooms we work at the same job and she's coming on shrooms or we'll sneak to the back to take a vodka shot that's pretty dicey um i don't mean to throw stones in a glass house though i don't have the biggest problem with her doing hard liquor.
Starting point is 01:13:47 She is a 21-year-old woman who is trying to get a rage on, and I'm sure I'll be raging a lot at that age, too. But her doing shrooms is not something I want to stand by and watch her do. She's also picked up vaping. I don't know how constantly she does these new habits, but from what I've asked my coworkers and just knowing her personality, I understand it is pretty often. She lives in her own apartment while I still live at home.
Starting point is 01:14:05 My sister and I have a tight squad with dudes my age and their sisters who are my sister's age. That's nice. And I was talking to one of the girls who said it is also making her uncomfortable. So I know I am not overthinking this. This mutual friend of ours seems as bummed about it as I am. Also, she completely bypassed weed and went straight to shrooms. That's weird.
Starting point is 01:14:22 First, which I don't think is something something someone like her should do i hope this doesn't make me seem like i'm speaking negatively about my sister i could write a million emails about what i love about her to you guys too these these new habits are making me super concerned though to put it simply i just feel like she's going down a bad path and doesn't know it and so now i am asking your wisdom should i talk to her about how i feel do i wait a few more months and see if it is a phase if i were to talk to her how can i do my best to plead or to plead with her to slow down you guys are expert ragers and i would love to hear your input on the situation i think i would say something lovingly
Starting point is 01:14:54 uh without judgment i think i would just let her i would just put it in her in her you know orbit that you're you're a little bit concerned um because you don't want to come in and judge you because then they're going to be like you know they're gonna be like oh fuck you and a lot of times with this with these situations you kind of got just they have to they have to want to change themselves but i think it really matters when someone that you love and care about says something to you and it sort of like you know hits you deep in your chest you know um like when i woke up nude at my brother's college and he's like you shouldn't wake up nude when you come visit me that hit me hard that'll do it yeah yeah i agree with chad i think um you got to think what would you do if she approached you about trying to help you with
Starting point is 01:15:49 something in your life you'd probably uh receive it as love and think she was just looking out for you i was doing too much molly and my friend was like yo you got to slow down and i was like okay he's probably right i'm probably i don't think this person there's no like retaliation or you're like no fuck you i'm not no i have that in me but no with him i was just like he wouldn't say this to me unless it was an issue yeah and then i think you just come in and you're just like hey i'm scared and then you guys will have a good conversation and she'll probably you'll probably see better where she's coming from and then you know you just got to come out and be like hey it's just because i love you and i think uh that'll come through because you clearly do love her a lot yeah you gotta end it on that note just because i love
Starting point is 01:16:22 you it's a good one yeah it can't be like attack you with it no you're just like hey i noticed you've been i mean especially her doing that at work like you gotta end it on that note, just because I love you. That's a good one. Yeah. You can't be like, attack you with it. No, you're just like, hey, I noticed you've been, I mean, especially her doing that at work. Like, you can't be drinking on the job and stuff like that. That's just, because it's going to get you fired. And it's not something she can be honest about. If you're doing behavior that you can't be honest about, you're probably doing maybe something you shouldn't, or you're not working in the right place.
Starting point is 01:16:40 You'll just have the boss be like, hey, I was looking at security camera, started taking a shot. Like, you gotta just slowly roll a little. But then the boss might just be like, hey, I was looking at security camera. So I'm taking a shot. Like, you got to just slowly roll a little. But then the boss might just be like, wait, who? What? Fired. So maybe not the best idea. And I don't, I wouldn't narc on her.
Starting point is 01:16:51 Yeah. But I would, I would talk to her. And I think especially if her friends are concerned, I wouldn't bring that up. But that is good that, you know, it's, it's not just, it's been other people are kind of maybe seeing what you're seeing and think it's cause for concern, but she'll be all right. You just got to talk to her and just tell her cause for concern. But she'll be all right. You just got to talk to her and just tell her you love her.
Starting point is 01:17:09 Ex-girlfriend gets engaged. What up, Stokes Senseis? Daniel Sun here. In a bit of an emotional dilemma, I was hoping you could help. In August 2019, my girlfriend and I of three and a half years broke up in a mutual yet very emotional split. I was very rattled for a time but slowly refilled my Stoke tank. A few months later, though, it's clear she's got a new boyfriend. Definitely hurt me a bit, but I tried to move on and did, having a short-term relation about six months later.
Starting point is 01:17:30 Fast forward to the end of September 2020, and I found out through social media she got engaged to this dude just over a year after we broke up. Obviously, I have no right to be angry. She's her own person, and she can do what she wants, but definitely feels somewhat hurt and weirded out by this revelation. I think you're also angry, too. He's definitely hurt. Yes, people who are hurt definitely love to say i'm not hurt yeah which is a normal feeling to have but like i think you gotta just like block her on social media or like mute her you don't you don't need the energy in your life you don't want to be the guy looking through the window being like what's she up to you know just don't look
Starting point is 01:18:00 at her shit then you start posting happy shit because she's looking too and then he said i don't regret the breakup at all but i'd be lying if i said it doesn't bother me a little i've only told two of my best bros about it but no one else is this a chill move by her am i being a schmullen should just forget about it move on should i stop holding it and tell people it's on my mind also possibly she got pregnant but got pregnant but to be honest seems unlikely wow no dude i mean i don't think like you're just a sweet guy you just love this girl a lot but i don't think she's being unchill she just met someone else who she jived with and you guys probably weren't meant to be together but i agree with trevor i think you just gotta put the blinders on not pay attention to her and take all that good
Starting point is 01:18:38 love for you you feel for and put it into another person who's gonna appreciate it yeah yeah and then maybe you know what and like Trevor said, she's watching you. The race is long and slow and in the end only with yourself, but it's also with other people. Your marriage is going to last three times as long. She's looking. She probably thinks about him while she's with the new guy. Oh, yeah. Little things like, oh, he used to do this.
Starting point is 01:18:58 When she's got an O, she's like, thinks back to the last dude. Yeah. I think you just got to shift your perspective on it. Like, this is the fuel, fuel you need to fucking dominate, you know?
Starting point is 01:19:12 Yeah. To, because essentially telling people, it's not gonna do any justice. Nobody's gonna give you like, empty points. You kind of just gotta be like, all right,
Starting point is 01:19:19 well, you gotta look at it like, she'll regret it and then you just keep living your life. Yeah, it's like you take in that pain. You're like, you say, thank you. Now I'm going to go become an astronaut.
Starting point is 01:19:31 Dude, use that fuel. That's the fuel you need to like just achieve great things. Or ride into Gary Vee and be like, what the fuck should I do, Gary? Yeah. He'd tell you to go be productive and like just like create. You're heartbroken at age 20, you stupid fuck. He'd tell you to go create an epic life, which is what you gotta do.
Starting point is 01:19:47 Yeah, no, I, yeah, I think, uh, yeah, life is long and you'll find somebody else.
Starting point is 01:19:51 Yeah, I'd just be stoked for her. I'd just be like, look, I'm so happy that you met someone. You deserve it. Oh God, dude.
Starting point is 01:19:56 Yeah. But that type of energy will drive a girl, she'll be like, what does that mean? He said he was happy, but is he happy? But if you're just like, like if you're like,
Starting point is 01:20:02 high road to a thousand. Yeah. Just so happy for you. Congrats on the baby. Did you guys just bone? Nice. Yeah, I heard you might be pregnant. I couldn't be more stoked on that.
Starting point is 01:20:10 Yeah, I saw your Amazon wishlist. I'm going to send you a crib. I'm like, I'm not pregnant. I still sent you one anyways. I'm happy for you. Tells me you guys do have a baby. P. Diddy sent Ben Affleck and J-Lo like Rolls Royces when they got engaged. Really?
Starting point is 01:20:20 Yeah. Wow. That's hilarious. I'm happy for you. Yeah. I'm happy for you is hilarious because like on paper paper you're like, this guy didn't do anything wrong. But you can be as petty as you want to be.
Starting point is 01:20:29 I'm happy for you. And I also have a million dollars I can just waste in case you guys were curious. Oh yeah. Trevor, dude, thank you so much for coming in here, man. Thanks for having me, guys. It's great to see you, man. It's good to see you, man. You have a good time.
Starting point is 01:20:41 I dig that sweatshirt. Thanks, man. This company Chinatown Market just sends me shit all the time and I'm like it's great because I never have to do laundry what do you do
Starting point is 01:20:47 with all the swag you get a lot of it it just sits in a closet a lot of people send me alcohol does it get frustrating
Starting point is 01:20:52 where you're just like another box sometimes like 4 Locos sent me like 24 4 Locos and I was like what
Starting point is 01:20:58 am I supposed to do this so I'm just gonna show up to like a Halloween party and be a legend that's a dente ocho 4 Locos it's a lot of locos.
Starting point is 01:21:06 That was the biggest number I knew how to say in Spanish. 30. 80. It's 90, but I can't say 90. It's so many. So many for locos. 96. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:21:15 Yeah. But it's a pros and a cons of having a following or whatever. What's 96 times 4? That's like 384 loco. That's how loco you could get, bro. 96 loco. I could get loco every day for the year and then some. Yeah. Did you drink locos
Starting point is 01:21:34 when they had caffeine? Yeah. It was so much better. Dude, that was like I feel like my pitbull just got neutered. It was like that's when my life was really living. Now I'm drinking like a cheeseburger. Yeah, now I gotta like drink a 5 hour after it just to like feel something, you know? Yeah, for sure. It's not good.
Starting point is 01:21:50 Yeah, I miss it. I still have a Four Loko, an OG Four Loko in my old room, but it's in a water bottle. So I definitely shouldn't drink it, but it's in my old room at my parents' house, and it's just chilling, great flavor. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I think I could solve corona with it, so I don't know. You could put that on, it could be like an antibiotic. Yeah, I'm going to just send it to Wuhan and be like, what can you do with it?
Starting point is 01:22:11 You'll read that sometimes, it'll be like, new study says cocaine might help with COVID, and you know there's just some coke addicts out there who are like, please. Please, dude. Please let this be a thing. Please let this be real. My parole officer is really pissed until this gets cleared. No one can say shit to me. Rail in lines. lines you remember when they said nicotine might they'd be like nicotine might protect you against covid i love when the weed articles came out like every
Starting point is 01:22:34 stoner comic was like i fucking told you guys yeah hell yeah they like haven't talked for like months and they're like fucking yeah i'll be fine then yeah you. Yeah. You know, I love it. I just love everybody to do their own thing, you know, whatever makes you happy, do it. For sure. That's a good closing note.
Starting point is 01:22:50 Yeah, man. Well, shit. Good to see you, man. Have a good set tonight, man. Thank you, dude. I appreciate it. Good on you for doing this shit. That's your fucking ankle, man.
Starting point is 01:22:56 But yeah, thank you and I got a podcast, Stiff Socks, if you guys want to check it out. Oh yeah, anything you want to plug? Stiff Socks. Yeah, just a podcast. Yeah, you did an episode
Starting point is 01:23:04 a while ago and yeah, it's just called Stiff Socks yeah just the podcast yeah you did an episode a while ago and yeah it's just called Stiff Socks we'll have you on someday please man yeah it's just it's a good time
Starting point is 01:23:10 just boys being boys every Wednesday not to compete with I love Blaustein too he's a great guy Blaustein's great yeah he's fucking wilding too so his stories are great
Starting point is 01:23:18 just to listen to and I feel like you guys would mesh really well together and just good energy yeah I like him a lot he's a great guy hell yeah well dude
Starting point is 01:23:24 thanks for having me on yeah we're gonna keep going we have like other another part to this so we'll probably fuck yeah gotta run them ads and shit yeah we're gonna do that we do like our beefs babes and legends oh fuck that's hard sounds fun dude dude next time we'll have you back i don't have beef with anybody except nicholas cage all right i'll see you guys next week all right have a good set yeah have a good set man take care what's up guys i'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that we are brought to next week. All right. Have a good set. Yeah, have a good set, man. Take care. What's up, guys? I'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again
Starting point is 01:23:49 that we are brought to you by Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean because when you step out
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Starting point is 01:24:24 They read pubes. It's called chakras. S-T-pop Chopra. Anyways, mirror mirror on the wall. What is the best brand for my balls? Manscaped, of course. Hold up. Is that nose pube?
Starting point is 01:24:35 Good thing our partners at Manscaped are here to ensure you're taking care of your manhood and your nose hairs with their new performance package. Dudes, I get comments about my nose hair nonstop. You know? People are like, dude, what's with the nose hair? You gotta trim it. And I'm like, and that's what it used to be like. You know, I'd see people's eyes just darting.
Starting point is 01:24:59 They'd be like, oh, is that freaking nose hair? And I'm like, what up? But luckily, I got the manscape freaking uh what's it called aaron the weed whacker i got the weed whacker i'm shoving that in my nostrils and i look just so fresh and so clean and just what up dude because the manscape performance package is the ultimate men's hygiene bundle you get the weed whacker you get a 9 000 rpm motor 360 degree rotary dual blade system um it's proprietary they use proprietary skin safe technology um which doesn't give you any nicks or cuts and 79 percent of partners
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Starting point is 01:26:51 For you. Well said. Chad, what's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is with people who love fall. You know, people who love seasons. Quote unquote. Yeah, okay. you know people who love seasons quote unquote yeah okay uh enjoy those seasons um yeah i don't know dude i just like i love summer so much and it and i it this may be a little bit harsh but it really just irks my chain when people you know
Starting point is 01:27:20 like to rub it in your face that it's fall they're like it's fall's fall. Look, there's pumpkins. Let's go to a pumpkin patch. There's leaves falling. And I'm like, I don't need that, okay? I don't need you to remind me constantly that summer is over. I don't know. It's kind of to each their own, I guess. But just don't remind me that it's fall.
Starting point is 01:27:42 No, it twists my bald hair, too. Yeah. I'm so pumped it's raining. Yeah. Because it's not cool. No, it twists my bald hair too. Yeah. I'm so pumped it's raining. Yeah. Because it's not cool. Yeah. That's why you're pumped. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:49 And I always appreciate optimism. Yeah. But I'm like, where's this enthusiasm when it's sunny? Dude. And then the line of death is, or the question of death is, or no, the line of death is like, hey, you'll probably need a jacket. And I'm like, then I'll probably just stay home a jacket for what to go outside when it's cold yeah it's called a hibernation aaron what's your b for the week uh my b for the week is with uh corona deniers. Corona? Corona deniers, yeah.
Starting point is 01:28:25 Oh. The virus deniers. Is that still a thing? Our fucking president is like, we're turning the corner. We're on the home stretch. It's all over. And then I get updates on my phone that say, highest peak ever. Yeah, we almost hit 100K. Oh, when? Where? We hit 94,000 like hit 100K. Oh, when?
Starting point is 01:28:45 Where? We hit 94,000 like two days ago. Oh, really? I just don't even pay attention to that news anymore. I wouldn't. California's actually not doing so bad. Really? If you go to the New York Times,
Starting point is 01:28:53 Great America, we're still a nice light yellow rather than a dangerous Montana orange. Oh, yeah, Montana's taking a hit, huh? Big time. How's your dad doing? He's in here right now so that's good oh nice but aaron i'm sorry continue brother yeah it's just um i know we're
Starting point is 01:29:11 tired of it i know we are i'm tired of it but you just gotta you can't be reckless uh because it's still out there it doesn't give a shit if you're tired um we just have to wait for that goddamn vaccine which is not coming before the election. What? Trump said it would be here in a couple of weeks. Dude, the election is next Tuesday. Isn't that crazy? The vaccine is his Canadian girlfriend.
Starting point is 01:29:39 She exists, I swear. You should have met my Canadian girlfriend, Tess. She was beautiful. She would never get COVIDed it's just insane and and we get these we get some comments on on our youtube page that just drive me up the wall and if anyone here frequently all things comedy youtube page just know that if you are a mask denier or whatever you're getting blocked forever so yeah it's just frustrating seeing that stuff that's still out there. Um, uh, a part of my,
Starting point is 01:30:10 one of my, one of my, my legend will be, uh, what's in the Borat movie. But, um, yeah,
Starting point is 01:30:17 it's, uh, we watched that together. We had a, we had a nice weekend. China hung out, did mushrooms, watched the Borat movie.
Starting point is 01:30:24 Yeah. It was great um my beef of the week is with people who describe themselves as empaths a empath is someone who um uniquely feels other people's emotions they're very empathetic um everyone who uses it on reality shows clearly doesn't feel what other people are feeling because if they did, they know we all think they're huge renops for saying that. Cause here's the thing, us real empaths,
Starting point is 01:30:51 we would never describe ourselves as empaths. We would know that that would just come across as hugely douchey. And that since you're on a dating show, you're going to do a lot of things that aren't going to look empathetic. And, and you're going to kind of make yourself look like a dick for saying it. And, you know, I meet people in real life who are like, I'm an empath. I'm an empath.
Starting point is 01:31:11 I'm an empath. You mean you sort of know what other people are feeling? It's like people who describe their sense of humor as sarcastic. Yeah. I have a very dark sense of humor. Oh, do you, guy who's never made anyone laugh? Do you? sense of humor oh do you guy who's never made anyone laugh do you so if you say you have a dark sense of humor or you say you're an empath I got news for you
Starting point is 01:31:30 you should introduce yourself another way that would make people like you just say you suck I suck that's kind of likeable well so I kind of borrowed this whole empath jag from my girlfriend she hates empaths she didn't like it when people describe themselves as empath yeah but um yeah this is i felt what she was saying so i needed to talk about it is this directed a specific reality star i don't even know someone just said it on something and i was like oh dude just shut the fuck up you know when someone says something you're like oh dude just shut up it was like that chad who's your babe of the week my babe of the week is
Starting point is 01:32:06 freaking what is my babe of the week John Travolta and Broken Arrow nice dude dude such a good villain. I mean, just all the way down the way he smokes his cig. Just John Travolta in Broken Arrow is a babe. He doesn't give a fuck if it's a nuke.
Starting point is 01:32:39 He's going to sell that shit. I've only watched like half of it. Hey, but you got it right. Okay, cool. That's what he's going to it. Hey, but you got it right. Okay, cool. That's what he's going to do. That's all I got. Or the Southwest is going to be uninhabitable for about the next 10,000 years. He's got a lot of swagger in that movie.
Starting point is 01:32:56 And the way John Woo shoots it. What a terrible thing to say. Grab the nukes. Let's go. Badass. Aaron, who's your babe? He's also bossing around Howie Long which is pretty remarkable Howie Long not a bad actor
Starting point is 01:33:10 yeah my babe of the week is Brett Phillips of the Tampa Bay Rays you guys saw the walk off hit well JT maybe anybody I saw it dude I saw it I've been watching this World Series I saw it all
Starting point is 01:33:28 right yeah yeah it was uh I mean he was put in there to pinch run an inning or two before was never supposed to get a plate appearance then he's in a world series game they're down by one he's facing the dodgers closer he's down to two he's i think he's oh two or one one and two something like that and kenley just does not throw a good cutter and maybe that's because he can't anymore um and he hits it in the center field and then the the all hell breaks loose that is that play um which i can't even insult chris taylor for because i've done it a million times where you just whoop there the ball's not in your glove like it should have been um and the guy starts doing airplanes in the outfield yeah yeah he just seems like the sweetest guy he's got this crazy high laugh
Starting point is 01:34:21 everyone on his team loves him they love having around they put him on the roster like despite the fact that he was hitting like 090 or something like that uh he was so jacked from hitting that from getting that hit that he needed an iv and oxygen like he almost did he really yeah he almost passed out while celebrating that's awesome and it's just like who can't relate to someone like living out a dream and it almost physically taking them down? That's pretty awesome. Yeah, he did. He was so fired up. The amount of pressure.
Starting point is 01:34:55 There's just those key moments for pitchers and hitters. It's just all on you. Then you've got to face the dugout. Luckily, he came out strong, even though I'm kind of rooting for the Dodgers. Sorry, Aaron. No, I mean, it doesn't matter who you're rooting for. It's just like that was incredible, you know?
Starting point is 01:35:11 Yeah. We need it. My Babe of the Week is Aaron Sorkin. You just got to give it up to the guy. I mean, he's just got a long list of bangers to his credit. And now he's directing, and I like the two movies he directed. I watched The Trial at Chicago 7, which there's been like six different versions of.
Starting point is 01:35:29 And I think his is the best. I guess he takes a lot of creative liberties with history, but to great effect. I mean, I was crying a couple times. And the performances, you got Mark Rylance. He just gets great actors. You got Joseph Gordon-Levitt. You got Sacha Baron Cohen. You got Eddie Redmaymayne who I've never been a huge fan of but like just totally inhabits this
Starting point is 01:35:49 character like voice and movement wise and then um and I'm missing some other big actors but it's just from top to bottom really well acted and then he just writes great scenes like just stuff that is moving and and articulate and and relevant to what's happening today and he's been doing it for 30 years you know he had coke problems he's battled and he just keeps doing good work and then you know people they get on him because he can be a little grandiose and they think they see his ego and what he's writing i tell you what whatever it takes for him to do it he's earned it social network a few good men the american president now trial of chicago i didn't even know it was his movie at the end i just saw oh written direct for him to do it. He's earned it. Social network, A Few Good Men, The American President,
Starting point is 01:36:26 now Trial of the Chicago City. I didn't even know it was his movie. At the end, I just saw, oh, written and directed by Aaron Sorkin. I was like,
Starting point is 01:36:30 no wonder this shit fucking ripped. He directed it too? Yeah. Then he did Molly's Game. I love that movie. Some people don't like it because they think it's like
Starting point is 01:36:37 there's too much man splitting to the Jessica Chastain character. I'm like, I don't know, man. I thought it ripped. I thought she was great. I thought her dad, Kevin Costner, was great. I love the whole thing. The guy, I don't know man I thought it ripped I thought she was great I thought her dad Kevin Costner was great I love the whole thing the guy I don't know he's he's he's
Starting point is 01:36:49 up there for me I like watching his um I've been watching interviews with him recently just randomly and yeah it's cool hearing about his process but he like acts everything out like when he's writing and like one time he was he was like he's writing some scene i forget for what movie it was but he's so fired up that he fucking like ran through a wall right and broke his nose dude that makes sense his scenes get you so fired up i could see writing that and then that's maybe what people are talking about like you can feel his ego and i'm like yeah it's great he's writing stuff so good it gets him pumped up like he hasn't seen it before that's just an example of people looking for something to be upset with him for. Yeah, can we just treasure
Starting point is 01:37:26 this man? Yeah. That's just like people that are like, what can I do to like take him down a notch? Right. And you're like, nice. Not very, those people are not empaths. Aaron Sorkin is a legit empath. I got a few things to say. You got some beef?
Starting point is 01:37:42 Yeah, he's kind of. Aaron, you know what? I'm not totally surprised you got beef with Sorkin. I'm with it though. Yeah. He's kind of... Aaron, you know what? I'm not totally surprised you got beef with Sark. I'm with it, though. Yeah. He's kind of anti-union. He's anti-WGA, and he's in it. Oh, in his personal life?
Starting point is 01:37:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I'm sure he's got a bunch of stuff he's done that's no bueno and stances that are incorrect. But what about the work? I mean, the West Wing characters
Starting point is 01:38:02 say a lot of things but don't do anything. Politicians, particularly, in that show. And you see some parallels with him? I see that. Well, unfortunately, I see that in Democratic administrations. Yeah. So that's a bummer.
Starting point is 01:38:19 That's what Trump takes it to Biden over. Wait, so you're saying that the characters in the show are all talk and no action? Yeah, and that unfortunately influenced a lot of the Obama administration. Oh, really? The guys who, yeah, came up watching the West Wing and they're like, that's what I want to do. And it's like, okay, well, great. And obviously Obama was a great speaker.
Starting point is 01:38:42 Oh, that's interesting. But you got to get it done. Is that too much to put on the guy, though? He had eight years. I mean, he wrote the West Wing, and now we're going to blame him for Obama's administration? I mean, it's kind of his thing. I don't know. It's interesting.
Starting point is 01:39:01 They say in the speech, they're like, my whole political style is from aaron sorkin's writing that's why i'm gonna get nothing done but you're gonna love me chad who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is sasha baron cohen um watched borat with jt and uh to be honest i was kind of like you know with some of his recent work, it's hard to critique Sasha because he's such a genius and spearheaded this whole comedic movement, I guess you could say. Like prank character stuff. Yeah. How would you describe this comedic, you know, he's. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:39:38 He's just a master of this style. But I came into it kind of like, I was like like I don't know if I like the whole it's a little pointed politically now like Ali G was a little bit more fun but then you watch the second Borat and you're like he's a genius it's got some great stuff in it yeah I mean he's just
Starting point is 01:39:57 he's the master and I understand why he's made those choices in his work to go a little bit more pointed personally I think one because understand why he's made those choices in his work to go a little bit more pointed um i i personally i think one because it's like you gotta you gotta heighten what you've done on top of borat right and it's like it's like all right well i'm gonna go for real political figures now and try and like you know really um you know make an impact culturally and politically, I guess.
Starting point is 01:40:28 And also he's got his values, and I respect him for it. You know, he realizes he has a voice, and he wants to, like, use it for change and good. So I respect him for that. But he's just the master. Agreed. And I've got to give it up to him. And I've always for that. But he's just the master. Agreed. I got to give it up to him. And I've always loved his work. Ali G, I still watch weekly.
Starting point is 01:40:53 All the Borat stuff, so good. I mean, it was all so good. And yeah, he's awesome. So Sasha, you're my legend. Love it. Aaron, who's your legend? Going to have to make it two for two. Sacha Baron Cohen was my legend as well.
Starting point is 01:41:07 Oh, right. Did you say that earlier in the pod? I said he was going to come up, yeah. Oh, right. Okay, yeah. My bad, dude. No, it's all good. It came into my dome.
Starting point is 01:41:14 Yeah, no, totally. I mean, it's out there. It happened this weekend. I mean, he's incredible. The way he is, because he's not the first guy to do pranks, right? There have been great prank shows before yeah but the way that he can a develop a character and b stay in it when it seems like all is lost i mean he he doubles and triples down on it it's it's incredible um and now he has this this new actress that he's introduced us to I don't know how to say her name
Starting point is 01:41:45 Dude she was amazing Yeah it's incredible I just don't know what else to say and we share a birthday so that's great Nice Dude my legend of the week is Bob Marley Nice Reggae singer
Starting point is 01:42:00 Oh not the comic? No the singer dude Dude I would see that on serious xm comedian bob marley what was his stylings i never listen yeah i just feel disappointed like is this three little birds or no woman no cry it's like no this is starbucks yeah poor guy starbucks bathrooms it's like the baseball player named will smith such a bummer um but yeah i just was listening to bob marley music all weekend. Is this love?
Starting point is 01:42:27 Could you be loved? No woman, no cry. I mean, these are the hits, but man, they're just timeless. His whole vibe is incredible. You know, he's just a peaceful dude. And you know, he had a big family. I think he made like 40 kids. Nice.
Starting point is 01:42:44 The reason his best of is called legend. Exactly. Chad, what's your quote of the week? It comes from Randall Memphis Raines from Gone 60 Seconds. I just stole 50 cars in one night, okay? I'm a little tired. I'm a little wired. And I think I deserve a little appreciation.
Starting point is 01:43:06 Actually, let me do the Sphinx. Sorry. If his unpleasant wounding has in some way enlightened the rest of you as to the grim finish beneath the glossy veneer of criminal life and inspired you to change your ways, then its injuries carry with it inherent nobility and a supreme glory. We should all be so fortunate. You say poor Toby. I say poor Ross.
Starting point is 01:43:27 I thought you were from Long Beach. Yeah. Dude, that was good. Two killer lines. Yeah, you had to do them both. Yeah. Aaron, what's your legend? All right, what's your quote of the week?
Starting point is 01:43:40 My quote of the week is from my boys, Jimmy World. It's from the song Believe in What You Want. It's on Clarity. It's one of the greatest albums ever made. Verse one, well, don't bother going through your emotions. Nothing that makes sense ever works out. Don't kid yourself. You know they want money.
Starting point is 01:43:58 Well, nothing can be good on its own. It's just a merit. And then verse two, put your trust in simple acts, make the flyers, get them up all over town. Don't kid yourself. You know, it's for money. Uh, well, please keep in sight what makes you care. You'll have it always. It's kind of about, um, at least to me, it's about like what you do and whether what your, what your actual goals are and your motivations are versus what you do just for fun. Um,
Starting point is 01:44:29 and not for money. Nice dude. Um, my quote of the week is this song. Holy shit. By, uh, father,
Starting point is 01:44:43 John Misty, the singer, dude, this song has the best lyrics I think of any song ever. Now, I am prone to hyperbole, but in this moment, I believe it full-heartedly. That rhymed a little bit. And he just captures everything that's happening now. He goes, ancient holy wars,
Starting point is 01:45:05 dead religion, Holocaust, new regimes, old ideas. That's now myth. That's now real. Original sin, genetic fate,
Starting point is 01:45:12 revolution, spinning plates. It's important to stay informed. The commentary to comment on. Age old gender roles, infotainment, capital, golden bows and mercury,
Starting point is 01:45:22 bohemian nightmare, nightmare, dust bowl chic. This documentary is lost on me. Satirical news, free energyows and Mercury, Bohemian Nightmare, Dust Bowl Chic. This documentary is lost on me. Satirical news, free energy, mobile lifestyle, loveless sex, independence, happiness. Oh, and no one's ever knows the real you, and life is brief, so I've heard. But what's that got to do with this atom bomb in me? Coliseum families, the golden era of TME, eunuch sluts, consumer slaves, a rose by any other name, carbon footprint, incest streams, fuck the mother in the green, planet cancer, sweet revenge, isolation, online friends.
Starting point is 01:45:53 Oh, and love is just an institution based on human frailty. What's your paradise got to do with Adam and Eve? Maybe love is just an economy based on resource scarcity, but I fail to see what that's got to do with you and me. Dude, what a beast. I missed an earlier stanza, but I fail to see what that's got to do with you and me. Dude, what a beast. I missed an earlier stanza, but don't matter. Just give it a listen. Just crushed it. Chad, what's your phrase that we forget after it?
Starting point is 01:46:18 What do you like better, boosting cars or sex? What about boosting cars while having sex? Well, there's an issue. The shifter gets in the way. Nice, dude. Aaron, what's your phrase we'll be forgetting after it? Hey, let's go do airplanes in the outfield, man. Nice.
Starting point is 01:46:41 Dude, mine is this referee one time who was calling a game in like the 80s. And Jim Kelly, the quarterback, just got pinned down by a D lineman. And the D lineman just beat the shit out of him. And the ref goes up and goes, penalty on 85. He had the quarterback on the ground. He was giving them the business. Very passionate. Acted it out good.
Starting point is 01:47:03 Check it out on YouTube. All right, dudes. All right. There you have it. Well, shout out to Trevor Wallace for coming on. Legend. And Aaron, good to see you. Aaron, good to see you.
Starting point is 01:47:21 Chad, good to see you, bro. You as well. Yeah. See you tomorrow. We're doing an episode of History is Dank. Aaron, good to see you. Chad, good to see you, bro. You as well. Yeah. See you tomorrow for, uh, we're doing an episode of history is dank. Oh yeah. We're doing a battle of Midway.
Starting point is 01:47:31 Yeah. I think we'll put that out on, on here too. Yeah. If you need advice, these guys are really nice. You want to know what to do, where to go. The skies are really nice And you wanna know What to do Where to go
Starting point is 01:47:50 When you need someone to guide you Just watch them have their throats beside you Go in deep Go in deep Let's go deep We're going deep We're going deep

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