Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep 168 - Sam Boyd Joins

Episode Date: January 6, 2021

What up Stoker!? Sam Boyd joins us. Creator of the HBOMax show "Love Life". It was a good time chatting with him. Sign up for new merch here: http://www.shopcgd.com   Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion

yeah put on my sweatpants and tell me it's monday i think that works what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep with chad jt podcast guys before we begin i'll remind you once again that we are brought to you by Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean. Because we may be in the Q-team still, but you know what? I think even on Zoom, people can tell when you're doing full body grooming and that's an energy that just can't be matched so use code go deep 20 at manscape.com and i'm here

with my compadre jean thomas what up boom clap stokers and we are here with a writer director uh creator of love life on hbo max sam boyd. What up? Thank you for coming on. How's it going, guys? Yeah, thanks for having me. It's good, dude. Good. Yeah. Can't complain. Good to see you.

Yeah, feeling good. How are you living? Where do you live at? Are you in Los Angeles? Yeah, I'm in LA. Yeah, yeah. I was in New York for a little bit making season one of the show, and I'll be back there to do season two, but I do live in LA.

Did your own life parallel the protagonist, Anna Kendrick's life? Were you single in New York? Yeah, you know, I went to NYU, and so season one definitely was me kind of plugging back into, like, that time in my life and a lot of those feelings, and even just the places we shot and stuff like that i tried to kind of have you know like just go back into kind of my own memories and and and try to you know replicate certain feelings and and and certain moments and um you know obviously the character you know the main character of season

one was a woman and there was you know there was a lot that was different about about you know, the main character of season one was a woman. And there was, you know, there was a lot that was different about, about, you know, the character and myself, but there's a bunch that's, you know, that's me too. And, and, you know, it was fun to kind of work that stuff in. Was it painful at all? I know for me, I really, I love the show. I plowed through it a second time today and it resonated so much with me. And I could see myself. I told my brother when we were watching, I was like, dude, I relate to each one of these dudes. Cause she kind of,

you break the episodes up into kind of suitors or, or her main relationships. And every dude was flawed in a really relatable way where I was like, I'd watch them talking to like, Oh fuck. Yeah. I felt that too. Yeah. Thanks guys. Yeah. I mean, you know, that was a lot of what was fun about it was obviously

we're kind of building this main character but you're also building these love interests and kind of walking this tightrope of like wanting them to be fun and engaging and people that you want to watch in you know an episode with her but you also kind of got to keep the story on the rails and not you know you got to have it make sense that they don't end up together that's not just annoying every time um so you know it was it was fun to try to figure figure out how to do that and and keep it entertaining and just have you know have each of those guys feel like flawed in a in a in a kind of real feeling and explainable way um and you know we had we had one guy that was a little bit more of a crazy dude. But, you know, other than that, yeah.

Dude, Nick Thune, I've been in LA for a while doing comedy. So Nick Thune was always someone I really looked up to. He's a great stand-up. And he's tremendous. Yeah, he's awesome. And yeah, he was so good in the show. And yeah, you know was it was it was kind of as much fun figuring out who those guys were going to be and and what they were going to

be like um as it was to to build anna's character and and see that through yeah i uh i really relate to anna's character too because when in the first when they're describing her in the first you know a few minutes of the show her background her childhood i was like oh that's my childhood like i don't know if you want me to say that like you know divorced parents divorced at four exact same time as me and then like a wow you know a series of almost relationships up until my 20s right where i'm just like what's what's going on here yeah yeah and then realizing later you know i'm like i'm like oh i had some uh some scarring from that uh that i wasn't even aware of but uh which was like so you know even though it was a female

protagonist i related so deeply just right off the bat which was so interesting and boarding school we both went to boarding school too i'm boarding school yeah yeah you you are darby dude yeah i'm the i'm the i'm a dar dorby what's the male yeah yeah yeah exactly the male version yeah yeah yeah yeah that's right yeah yeah yeah dude i read two phones danny two phones killed me because like he was such a great guy and i know and the way he says this is guys a lot of spoilers but like when he says goodbye to her at the museum and he hits her with this i i would do that for he hits her with like a double chest pound peace sign and it's maybe maybe i'd be a little more self-aware i'm like sorry i know that

was really cheesy but like i had to do it but but the character is like his i don't know he's just such a sincere dude it was uh and he doesn't look like he's gonna be that guy he looks like he's gonna be a fuck boy because he kind of like a good looking dude with like a wild haircut but he ends up being like the most sincere of everybody yeah yeah no i'm i'm glad you dug that i mean that was a fun one because i think that one in particular was one where we kind of wanted to flip it and you know anna's character in most of the episodes is kind of the person who's trying too hard to make something happen and and we thought it would be fun to kind of show her in a situation where the tables turn and and there's kind of a guy that's too into her and, you know,

and, and kind of having women in the writer's room who were authentically writing, you know, her side of the experience. And then also being able to, you know, speak to just being a, being a guy and then, you know, occasionally a dopey guy who, you know, you end up in situations like that and you, you know, as you said, he has maybe a little less self-awareness, so it's not, it's not autobiography but but it was definitely fun to like try to make that guy feel real and and try to make him you know a bonehead but also sympathetic and and I think with everyone we we just wanted to kind of make it so you could feel both sides of it and is that is your first

film was in a relationship is that the title yeah and then was In a Relationship? Is that the title? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And then, so this is a pretty on the nose question, but like, why, why do you like to write about relationships so much? Why do you feel so compelled to kind of. Yeah.

No, it's part of the human experience. It's a good question. I mean, you know, yeah, the first movie that I made was called In a Relationship. And even before that was like a short version of that I made was called In a Relationship. And even before that was like a short version of that. It was called In a Relationship. So it's basically the only thing I know how to write about. And I honestly think it's, you know, part of it is I love, you know, I love just like trying to, you know, trying to like depict normal people with as much kind of specificity and like entertainment value as possible and and and i i have found that like kind of couching that in

romantic comedy or in you know love stories is is a way to kind of make them feel bigger and make them feel like things that you know that people will make or people will want to see, you know, but you're, but you're still kind of able to examine. I mean, it's a, it's, it's why it's a funny thing that like the stuff is all kind of superficially romantic comedy, but the romantic comedy aspect of it honestly ends up being kind of the least important part. Yeah. The relationship dynamics is what you're more. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of this, like, um, it's kind of like a Trojan horse or something where it's like, it's like the ability, you know, really what was fun, you know, what, what I love about love life, especially is that you're,

it's really just like a character study. You're just kind of going like super, you know, as you guys chat, Chad goes deep, you know, we want it to go as deep as possible with like you know our main character and you know and you're kind of able to like look at it through the lens of each of these relationships but ultimately it's like it's just like a person and trying to kind of look at it on less of like the cliched kind of like knight in shining armor level but more on this kind of primal level of just like everybody wanting love and i think especially just as like a way to kind of value your own worth or just how you know how love is this kind of you know it's this thing we consume ourselves

with in life and it's kind of the biggest the biggest thing that happens in most people's, you know, in a lot of people's lives. You know, but, you know, I think or even the way you were talking about, like, your parents' divorce and certain things you didn't realize, you know, were kind of scarring or connected or whatever. Like, just the ways that our lives and our relationships shape us and that ultimately like the more interesting part of it to me is is you know is the is the is the shaping of the life and the kind of like coming of age of a person and and just going all the way kind of through that with a character um but i don't know i you know i just it's it's um it's it's also like a tone that i like that's kind of you know funny and sweet but but a little more real, hopefully. Yeah.

Yeah, that's balanced really nicely in the show. Yeah, there's this novelist I like, Richard Price, and all of his stories are like cop stories. But Charlie Rose asked him, I was like, why do you always do cop stories? He's like, it's just an easy way for a plot. He's like, I'm just about the characters and stuff, but if you throw murder in there up top it flows

nicely definitely yeah yeah and i think you know it's that's you know it's obviously um you know there's there's even there's even more to work with when you're when you're working in a genre like that so like romantic comedy still is pretty soft but but it is a nice way to kind of to kind of shape these these kinds of stories and I think especially just story you know a lot of it too is just like drawn from my own life or from my friends lives and so you know you can kind of write like you know family dramas or something like that but I think in wanting to kind of write about you know me and my peers and and my world and just kind of you know the the stuff that I've noticed, you know,

that's kind of the best way to, to, to shape it. And, and to like be able to look at young people in a way that feels like a, you know, it feels like a real movie or it feels like a real show. What, uh, what rom-coms do you, uh, were you influenced by? Um, it's funny. I've kind of gone like all the way through it where like in even like in college i kind of like i was super into them and even shitty ones and i kind of made it like my thing and then and then honest to be honest the more that i make them like the less that i care about watching them and um makes sense and and especially the shitty ones but you know i

think the ones that like mean the most to me, you know, are, are the same. And that's, you know, like Annie Hall or when Harry met Sally or, you know, like an old movie, The Apartment. And, you know, and again, it's just those ones where it's hitting all these feelings, but it's still, you know, it's still kind of, I'm always kind of trying to find the midpoint where it's like, how can we, what's like what's like the realist feeling thing that still is commercial and fun to watch you know those shitty ones those shitty ones can be really valuable like ghost

of girlfriend asked or not to trash all the people who made that but i i can or a 20 27 dresses is it like 27 dresses is pretty good as far as those ones go but yeah yeah like that whole era I used to just crush all those they're very easy watching you know they're gonna hit the like they each one of them has like one really memorable scene like Benny and the Jets and 27 dresses we're like this is the shit like I'm having a good time now yeah yeah dude fool's uh McConaughey his his whole you know brown like fool's gold fool's gold was huge for me mostly because of his time that's funny yeah but really like how to lose a guy in 10 days and like uh that's a great one all those kinds of like i you know i

was i was in that like you know teen that teen zone so i was really vibing with those uh totally no those are those are those are really fun and and um and yeah you know and for me it's it's fun to try to figure out how to kind of split the difference between stuff like that and stuff that's like on the kind of satyr or like john cassavetes or something yeah yeah i mean that's like definitely the extreme um and you know and i love stuff like that but yeah definitely like i feel safe saying the midpoint between how to lose a guy in 10 days and cassavetes is right that's a good sweet spot i did that's the goal when i first saw cassavetes like a woman under the influence it was so yeah

it blew me away so hard it made me feel like every other movie was just fake but then as i've gotten more distance from seeing and i'm like i don't know if i want to be watching that all the time like i'm more fragile now now that i'm in like my 30s i can't me and chad we're talking about this day we can't watch stuff that's like hardcore sad because it'll it'll fuck me up for the whole day so i gotta i gotta be careful with that shit totally yeah no i know what you mean and i think you know with something like that you kind of just watch it and you know, like for me, it's like, I watched them and I thought kind of, you know, just like with my mouth open, cause it's just crazy that it exists.

But then as you say, it doesn't have like a high rewatchability factor. So then I kind of, you know, I find myself like as much as I love stuff like that, I'm watching like, you know, Colin Brothers movies over and over again or action movies or whatever. Yeah. And with, with life uh for each season they it's a it's a different protagonist right yeah yeah oh that's cool um can you can you divulge any information on the next season or is it all kind of yeah yeah i mean so no i mean you know we have we we have announced um the lead of the new season is going to be this actor william jackson harper who plays

chidi on the good place and he's great i just watched the first season yeah yeah he's amazing and so um so he's going to play the lead you know i'm really excited just on you know on the first level that it's going to be a guy i think that'll be really fun it'll make the show feel you know i think the show will have the same kind of feelings and the same sweetness but the stories will be really different and um and you know and also i think he's just such an amazing actor and he's so good on the good place um you know but that's also a pretty specific tone and a kind of different kind of thing so i'm excited to be able to be able to kind of work with him in in you know what i i think is kind of

his first like lead role like that where it's kind of on his shoulders and he's carrying the thing and i think you know he's he's going to be so good i'm so excited to i just feel lucky to be able to be the person that gets to make that thing. And a slower clip. It's kind of like a more settled kind of – it's not sitcom-y that way. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah, and so I think it'll be fun to kind of show another side of him

because also just as a real guy, he's such a kind of smart and sweet and sensitive and sweet and sensitive and funny and cool dude um you know and his character on that show is is hilarious and and great but it's definitely like a very specific thing um that's kind of not really who he is and uh and so yeah so so it's it's gonna it's gonna follow a character played by william jackson harper it's gonna be in new york again um Jackson Harper. It's going to be in New York again. One of the ideas from the beginning too, in addition to kind of following a new character every season,

was that I wanted it to feel like almost a shared universe where you're kind of able from season to season to have people, you know, have it like intertwine with, in this case, season one. And I think especially where we're like so specific we're so specific with the timeline where it's like you know season one came out this year but like it starts in 2012 and we see like win sanity and we see when you know kind of go all the way through all this stuff that's happened in like the last you know eight or ten years or whatever um and to have been that specific and now be able to kind of come back through that and like follow this new guy who's in New York, who, you know,

we actually kind of pick up on his story in like 2015. And then we're looking at kind of the last, you know, five or six years. And, you know, being able to see, like, you know, have him again kind of intersect with Darby, like at different points in her story or, you know, get to see certain characters again and have them kind of float in and out. Oh, nice. And, you know, and just, yeah.

And just kind of wanting to make it feel like, you know, oh, we were following this one person and then, you know, now we're following someone who, you know, lived on the block from them or we're kind of, you know, just that feeling, I think, especially in New York where there's kind of so many people and so many so many lives so many stories and and they're kind of all buzzing parallel and and uh getting to jump around like that how's the how's the writer's room when everyone is everyone just telling like their worst date stories and

then that's kind of the point yeah no the writer's room is great and you know both years the writer's room's been been great and there's definitely a lot of that i mean i think for me too especially like just there is something about a thing that really happened that's just always going to be better than anything we can make up and and you know and and that's what's fun about it too i think is like i don't even care so much it's not like oh i'm just writing my own experiences as much as i just like i don't want it doesn't necessarily have to be something that happened to me but i just want it to be something that happened to someone and and kind of you know again just the way that real life lays out

with really you know not every story but i think kind of the best, the best stories and the craziest things that happen to people. There's just a specificity to that, that you can kind of never, you know, you can never fake. And I think even when stuff ends up kind of changing and, you know, a lot of the time we'll start with someone's story and it'll kind of morph or we'll adjust it to kind of tailor it to the story we're telling. But like that kind of that that base is always there that baseline is always there and and you know for me at least you can

kind of always feel it there's just like a weird kind of you know couldn't couldn't write that feeling that i'm always chasing well what was it like writing you know for uh an episode that took place in 2012 because i was i was watching now i saw like you know the wind sanity and all that kind of stuff and i was like i was like oh interesting like i wonder what it'd be like to rate to write for something that happened you know eight years ago right it's sort of like it's like it feels like a very in-between moment of like you know there's two thousands are so clear but then like yeah it's like a yeah yeah yeah yeah no it definitely was different i mean i i had a lot of fun with it because i also i mean that was even i think the network

note at one point was like why don't we do it in like a more fun decade or whatever but there was something to me about the kind of like just the recent past the kind of like indiscernible recent past but also as i was saying kind of being able to be so specific about it. And, and, and I think, you know, like for me, like that's the year I graduated college. So I think a lot of it was like just reverse engineered from that, where it was like, you know, Oh, you know, when I was coming up with the idea for the show, it was,

I also knew like, Oh, we're going to jump through time. And so, you know, the way, you know, most I was coming up with the idea for the show, it was, I also knew, like, oh, we're going to jump through time, and so, you know, the way, you know, most shows don't do that, you know, you're kind of watching characters at one point in time, and it's all, it's all linear, you know, but in this show, we are kind of jumping through almost, like, the highlight reel of each character's life, each main character's life, and, you know, so I was sort of, like, okay, if we want to see this person over, like, eight years, if we're looking at someone's 20s, you know, and then it's sort of like, go, let's start it in 2012. And then you can kind of work your way towards, like the present so that it kind of ends, like, when you're watching the show, basically was kind of something I thought would be fun. Um, and then, you know, with, with the pilot, which I wrote kind of before we sold the show and it was the thing that got the show made, um, you know, it was fun to just, I just remembered, it's like, oh, you know, 2012, I was in New York and just remembering what it felt like to be in

those bars where everyone was, you know, freaking out over the, over the Jeremy Lin games. And, and, um, you know, just kind of like remembering all that stuff. A lot of that kind of just came from my own life and was pretty easy to square away. then as we went you know it was kind of like oh let's let's figure out what the stories are that we want to tell and then let's kind of weave in as you know as many little details as possible and you know and figuring out how to deal with certain stuff where it's like you know okay like in you know 2016 which we you know moved through in in season one like trump got elected and you know there were, which we, you know, moved through in season one, like Trump got elected. And, you know, there were times where we almost did

like an election day episode or something like that. But we ultimately, there's like a minor acknowledgement of it. So you kind of know it's, you know, the world. And yeah, yeah, there's the Romney stuff. And then at one point, I mean, this is even so subtle, I'm sure no one notices this, but like at one point, Anna's on her phone in one of the madness episodes and like she's reading an article about like hillary and trump or something's a picture of that but

but um your your phone details were so good because when she's texting madness one time the text above says yours is better and it's a picture of like a salad right right right indicative of their relationship that she's constantly having to like boost his ego and keep you good and seeing that detail on that phone I was like like it was just very comprehensive thinking on your guys's part thank you no I'm I'm glad to hear that I mean it's a funny thing because you sort of there's so many things going on when you're when you're making something you know when you're in production and stuff like that often kind of falls to the wayside and I've you know it that literally came

from directing other stuff before where i didn't think to you know i didn't think ahead on that and then i'm like watching the footage later and it's like some insert of some text and you're kind of reading the text you're supposed to be reading but then you look above it and it's just like bullshit that like they put in the phone that like doesn't feel real at all so it's like hi how are you like i am fine you know um and so you know it was fun to kind of like put in details that you know again most people won't notice but but they're there and is that in the script or is that like is that on set you're telling like the props department you're like hey yeah the text kind of no something like that's more like more when you're in

production and you know you would just have probably like in the script would be like the text that you're supposed to read that's like part of the scene and then the stuff above it would be the props department when they're actually like rigging rigging the phone and and um and yeah and you know and that was a fun thing too where it was like again minor details but it's like okay if we're you know, 2012 to 2020 in this first season, you know, like when did she get a new iPhone and what's the, you know, what iPhone was out then. And what's, you know, even just, I mean, whatever, that's like a, that's like a minor thing, the iPhone, but just, just the little ways that kind of our lives have changed over that period of

time and all that kind of stuff. And the music, I mean, the music was so well-picked, sometimes for the moment, and then sometimes it's just like, I got into this singer, Arthur Russell, my friend showed him to me. Yeah, yeah. I think you end episode one with one of his songs.

Yeah, yeah. But that's not really like a time period thing, right? Was that just, he's just an artist who really spoke to you? Yeah, I mean, it's a mix. Like I, you know, I picked all the songs in the show and it was it's like that's honestly one of my favorite things i mean even now we're still in like the pretty early stages of writing season two um but i'm already kind of thinking about music and think about songs that we can use and

and i like to have it be kind of a balance where like there are certain instances where we're using it to kind of mark time and to take people back to a certain moment and then other instances where it's something a little more timeless where I'm just like you know in the example that you brought up the Arthur Russell song like you know that's that's um you know that's an older piece of music that I just thought would be kind of amazing to that moment but then like in the Danny Tufone's episode when they're you know like getting out on that roof for the for the the roof party it's like oh what was you know this summer 2015 yeah it's like what was the fetty song that was like you know six seven nine or

whatever that big song was that song and yeah yeah you know and sort of the kind of uh you know the the time a mix of the kind of balance of the timely and the timeless and having like 30 whopping you know um jiction and stuff like that on the soundtrack but and then the john mayor song i've listened to that song in my top 10 of the year played since that came on and i don't know of all the music that's hilarious that one stuck with me the most for some maybe it's because of what the character is going through at the moment but but that song, I don't know. It's had a long. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was a funny one where that was, you know, to be honest, like that episode is actually based on, you know, something that happened to my wife. And that was like,

that was like the real song that was kind of part of the story. And for the listeners, the episode is about the protagonist fakes cancer. Cause she's so embarrassed over how heartbroken she is. She tells everyone she's actually sad because she has cancer. And that. So do you mind me, Brian? Was that? No. Yeah. Yeah. No, I read it up. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you know, that was something that was like a story with my wife. I had kind of, you know, known that was something that was like a story with my wife. I had kind of, you know,

known that was something that had happened to her and it was obviously something she's kind of, you know, she was embarrassed about, but I, it just always made me feel closer to her or not, not like, sorry for her, but it just was like, it was just like, it made me feel closer to her to like imagine her feeling like she had to do that. And there was just something that felt so kind of sweet about it and imagining like wishing that i could have like that i could like talk to like that version of her and be like you know you don't have to you don't have to pull moves like this but

but you know i think it was something we thought would be interesting and just kind of a again something that you know we couldn't like you know it would just be tough to go in the writer's room and pitch like what if she fakes cancer and have that be out of nowhere you know kind of stuff like that usually does come from real life from someone's real life um and so yeah so in that episode i think especially like i hewed pretty closely to the details of the real story including that john mayer song which which she kind of like listened to on a loop and uh i'm glad she had that song to help her through that i like what you're saying too about how you're almost you almost like someone more when they share something like that with you because right you totally understand the emotions that motivated that kind

of irrational decision and then the fact that they went through that and you know they're a good person and that they share that with you yeah it. Kind of like the best part of relationships for me is like definitely kind of bonding over the mutual. I don't want to be like, like bonding over the mutual kind of a mad person or lunatic. Right. Totally. Yeah.

And I think especially when it's like something that happens to someone when they're a kid, it's like, if you're 16, just like everyone does such dumb shit when they're a teenager and like you know and and so you know i think so much of the stuff people do when they're a teenager is just because they're they're in this kind of like you know free fall of like trying to figure out who they are and and just doing and saying insane stuff so i think there was like especially just like imagining kind of the teen version of her going through that you know it was uh it was you know just something that i kind of always it was a story that stuck with me did she like the episode yeah yeah i mean you know i think obviously

like i kind of did it also as as like sort of a love letter to her and and and you know but i think for her you know i'm sure it's like a trip and and you know i think i think it's obviously complicated and even like you know my in-laws and stuff watched it and like felt so bad in retrospect and you know kind of a way that they had never you know like talked to her about it before because they kind of just didn't talk about it since it happens that she was a kid and um and you know but but yeah i mean i think you know she she loved it and she was kind of the one telling me all the details and you know and and and i'm kind of detail obsessed so that it was that thing of like you know you know even down you know the music and stuff like that

but i think especially for that one where it's 2006 like getting the getting like the eyesight that goes on top of your camera and the you know top of your computer and the you know the like old green ipod and all that stuff bringing all that stuff back was really fun and you know yeah what's what's your writing process like when you're not in a writer's room like when you're writing a pilot for example like yeah are you the kind of writer who like wakes up and you're like i'm gonna do two hours of writing a day or do you let the inspiration come to you like how do you yeah i mean it's funny like i've i've tried you know there's a lot of different ways and i think it's just different for everyone it's you know it's it's um but for me like when i when i wrote the pilot like i i do think when i'm on my own

um i do writing kind of fits and starts and it's hard for me to like you know i think i need to get better at like the kind of treating it like a day job and making myself right way of doing things but like if i'm being honest the way that like the stuff i've written that's actually any good kind of came to me it was in these bursts of like you know thinking and thinking and thinking about something for a long time and kind of came to me it was in these bursts of like you know thinking and thinking and thinking about something for a long time and kind of writing a bullshit version or you know like chipping away at it and then it kind of just you know I think especially in the case of the love life pilot like came to me um pretty quickly and um you know and now that I'm in you know now that like

we actually are making it a show and having been through season one and now writing season two, like it's a whole different situation that, you know, I think is way, you know, I love it. I mean, I just, it's so hard to write alone. And I think being able to work with people in the room and talk through everything so much before you're even really writing, you know, I think, I think that's the difference too, was like, even really writing you know i think i think that's the difference too was like you know really like i think stuff is best when you're kind of like you've talked it all through and you've figured out figured it all out so much whether it's an outline or on you know a you know a whiteboard or whatever you you've figured it out to like such a kind of comprehensive level that

like the writing of the thing is actually just kind of a technicality at that point yeah um and i kind of always was the opposite in a way that was pretty arduous where like i was just i would always go kind of straight to like final draft and i would be like writing and writing and writing but nothing you're gonna write is gonna be kind of any good until you figure that big stuff out so um anyway all that's to say like i definitely always was kind of a you know did it by myself and did it in this pretty unstructured and undisciplined way um and i'm you know lucky to have learned a better way to do it now yeah it's it's tough to uh to to to approach it sort of out you know structure first know, get the story

structured, because you just want, like, when we're writing and stuff, like, the dialogue's so much fun, and it's just, like, you have to just get through all these hurdles to get to that point, and it's but it's fun, but yeah, no, I hear what you're saying, too, like, writing, you know, stand-up, it's, you know, when I started, I would try to write for, you know, an hour, a couple of like an hour a day or something, but like, like you were saying a lot of times it's just like the best idea is just, you know,

it's when you get that flow state where you just like come to you and you're just like writing it out. And then you kind of like, it's like a very brief moment in time. And totally. So yeah. And it's like, you can't force that. uh totally so yeah and it's like you can't force that you just have to let that flow through you um totally yeah yeah we're we're writing a pilot right now and we're dealing with like these logic log jams where we have to like change things but i don't think people realize like the ripple effects that small changes have in a script and like how carefully constructed everything is

so like we we spent two hours today just staring at each other over zoom yeah yeah it happens yeah mostly yeah yeah chet was like i'm gonna lay down i think i had nine graham crackers and then we just and but but you're genuinely working but the right the if you looked at what was tangibly created afterwards it would be very hard to measure but yeah yeah no and i think that's how it goes for for anyone you know it's like there's so much kind of time that feels wasted or or or you know stuff that seems like um you know you you're not actually working. And, you know, I feel I'm glad that, you know, that we sold the show and got to make it and stuff.

Cause I think when I was, you know, before that, when I would be like working all the time and writing, you know, my wife would always be like, she didn't understand that I was working, even though it's just like sitting around, like, it looked like I was, you know, like just like a total, you know, dipshit. I don't understand that. I'm like, I don't know how to describe it. I'm just like, yeah. Chilling, but it's stressful. Yeah. That's it, man. That's the name of the game.

How was pitching it? Like, was it, do you like pitching stuff? I don't really, I don't really like pitching stuff. I mean, I think it's, it's sort of a necessary evil. I think in the case of this show, I was lucky.

You believed in it so much or the pilot. Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, I had written the pilot and people like that. So that kind of like got that helped a lot. And then,

you know, I think like it was fun pitching it, but it's definitely like, it's not the thing I would choose to do. It's not my favorite part of it. But, you know i think like it was fun pitching it but it's definitely like it's not the thing i choose to do it's not my favorite part of it um but you know but i think also part of it is like a lot of people think that like you can just kind of pitch some half-baked idea or whatever and i think with this it was like a case where i had written the pilot and i had kind of made this like lookbook thing um that was pretty comprehensive and kind of gave a sense of like what the show would feel like and all this stuff coming at it kind of made this like lookbook thing that was pretty comprehensive and kind of gave

a sense of like what the show would feel like and all this stuff coming at it kind of as more as a director. And so anyone I sat down with, you know, got a, I think a pretty clear, for better or worse, like a pretty clear sense of what I wanted to do with the thing. And, you know, and I think a lot of that was me wanting to kind of do as much work as possible to to kind of prove the you know prove the viability of of the idea and of the show and um yeah and then how do you uh how do you how do you foster creativity in the writer's room so everyone's like at their top kind of like generating self idea generating. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's hard. It's like, you know,

running a writer's room or running a, you know, a set. A lot of it's, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's kind of like any, any like managerial thing where it's like, whether you're like coaching a baseball team or you're whatever it is, like you're, you're kind of trying to get the best out of people and you want them to feel you know in my case the way that I do it like it's always kind of wanting them to feel like you know wanting them to know that that they're kind of true collaborators in it and that I'm not kind of precious about anything there's no ego with it so it's like all of us coming together to try to make the best thing possible but then you also are trying to you know you still need to like be in charge yeah have the confidence and have the kind of drive to like keep the whole

thing on the rails and it's you know that's that's the trick of it is trying to find that balance where like you know it's it's not this kind of like you know rudderless ship but but you're also you know all kind of free and and able to you know come up with stuff or take the time that it takes to figure out what's really good yeah uh i saw that you worked with sasha baron cohen on the dictator um what what was that like and what what were you doing uh were you on set or were you in the room like how did you that was that was a job i was super lucky to have that gig when i was at nyu in film school and it was like a summer um and i was his assistant just on set of that movie so i was like on set with him every day

and and it was amazing I mean I think you know it's funny like I think back to that time where like and it feels like yeah I think that was actually I think the movie came out in 2012 we shot in 2011 but that is the kind of time in my life that I was thinking about when I was doing season one of the show and you know and it's I mean it's like anything where you kind of look back, I think it's weird too. Like you get into your thirties and it's the first time you can kind of really like look back on any part of your adult life, you know? Um, and, and it feels weird to be kind of so far away from that, but,

but it was an amazing time and it was like a super, it was just, you know, a really fun, um, you know, summer job obviously is an understatement, but like, but, um, but I don't know. I mean, I, you know, I obviously is an understatement but like but um but i don't know i mean i you know i i got to i got to kind of see so much and it was it was a really fun movie to be a part of yeah he's amazing we're we're we're buddies with uh one of his main guys austin sokel i'm sorry to say his last name do you know do you know austin i don't know austin um but you know it's been like whatever now eight or ten years since i worked since i was for sasha so yeah um but that's he's still out there too he's still risking it all for i know i know and the board the board

too is pretty amazing yeah yeah yeah that was pretty incredible um so there was a i'm sorry i'm gonna go personal here but there was some narration on top of the whole show yeah yeah the narrator had a really lovely voice kind of like an emma thompson kind of thank you yeah and uh smart to go british too because i think it adds a level of uh authority yeah exactly um but she says that the average person has seven relationships before they marry falls in love twice and has their heart broken twice, which means they were unlucky in those falling in love situations. Were those real statistics or was that kind of just an approximation that you saw in the world?

No, it's such a funny thing. Cause it's like, I honestly, it's hard for me to remember. It might be like, there might have been real statistics that we used as kind of a departure point. But I think even, I'm not sure where they were from. I don't know that one. But yeah, I mean, even more, I think with that ought to it always more than like whatever the specific statistics were, it was just kind of trying to give the audience a sense of like, you know,

it was sort of like, Oh, we're going to kind of reduce a person's life to like these milestones or these, or these kinds of, these kinds of chunks of their life. This is how we're diagramming it out. Yeah. Yeah. So it was sort of like, it was never as much about like the actual numbers. It was kind of like of like oh do we have like a version of that that feels real at all and sounds nice or um yeah but so were you a big dater in your in your 20s um and i i started dating my now wife um uh when we were 25 so like the back half of my 20s was just with her um i definitely you got out pretty

early i did yeah i got up pretty early um and that's the thing maybe that's like you know um i don't know as a part of why i'm bored with like romantic comedies and i think probably like earlier in my 20s i was like trying to understand love and and trying to like figure that whole thing out um but yeah i mean i definitely you know i definitely like dated in my early 20s and and um you know much of it was just like embarrassing and and silly and you know a good amount of that's in the show did any of your exes like facebook message you after the show and they were like hey that thing that augie did right no actually no one no one reached out i had one there's one thing i got uh like a friend who was kind of was mad that

i used like a detail from their life but but it wasn't an ex of mine and everything else was was no one else said anything well you just you just gotta hide it well enough you know yeah i heard truman capote his second book after in cold blood he was like tearing down all these new york socialites but he like barely changed their names and he thought right i guess he was drunk all the time and then when the book came out he couldn't get invited to brunch till like the end of his life basically right right that's funny yeah in the pilot um that first argument was uh it was it like struck me so deeply i'm like oh i'm like i've had this exact same conversation yeah it's like i don't know it was just the the it just felt so real um thank you man I just yeah it was just so

uh yeah the the show is so it's so relatable and yeah it's just great thank you guys yeah it was I thought Anna Kendrick was I called her Anna at the beginning I think I was trying to sound it's all good is it is it Anna it's it's Anna yeah yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. I'll soften that A inflection. So Anna, she's so good in this show. She has this unbelievable. She's amazing. She can be like pithy, but so real at the same time.

So it's like the joke hits, but it still feels very much like a real person saying it, which is, I don't know. I think it's pretty hard to do, but how did your guys' relationship evolve? And how influential was she in kind of shaping the arc of the character? Yeah, it was, you know, we had a great time working together. And she was, you know, I had written the pilot, obviously, and kind of built the beginnings of the character. But as far as the arc of it, like, she was a huge part of kind of figuring out where we wanted to go with it and helping

shape certain things she's super super smart and um just you know she has such good instincts and uh and yeah i mean i think you put it really well that she she does have a pretty uncanny ability to like to hit that balance um and yeah you know she and i would just have kind of long talks and hangs where you know we would not unlike the would just have kind of long talks and hangs where you know we would not unlike the writers room we kind of just like talk about our relationships talk about you know and you know our feelings and all that stuff and see what sticks she wore you guys do like after the episode chats which were really informative and she wore a backwards cap she did it kind of threw me off but then I was like oh is she doing it as homage to sam because you're wearing a hat so i was like did you wear a hat on set all the time and then

she was like all right i'll do this during the director's call yeah i wear hats a lot and then she i was wearing a hat in that and then she was kind of making fun of me and the first person ever asked about that and possibly the only person ever noticed but she um she was like she was like fucking with me because it was basically just like yeah yeah i was wearing a hat and she was just kind of making fun of me because she was i remember what she said was like because all the we did that whole press thing and all the women had kind of gone through like all of this like serious like hair and makeup and styling and and all this stuff and then she was like oh like i guess we you know are wearing what we're wearing and sam gets to wear exactly what he wears every day and uh and then she just like she had a hat and put it on and and then i think no one like said shit and i was kind of worried

they were gonna like make us reshoot the things or something because it was distracting but but it was it wasn't i don't know why it was but it did distract me but then i realized i was like oh i think she's kind of having, she was probably like, well, I'm going to have fun with the whole process. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And then Paul Feig was in there too, who I'm a big fan of. People probably know from, he had a great part in heavyweights. And then he created freaks and geeks and then spy and bridesmaids.

He was a producer on it. Yeah. He was, he, he was the producer and, and you know, Paul's great. I mean, Freaks and Geeks is one of my favorite shows ever and was definitely has, you know, it's been a big influence on me in general, but on this show too, especially and, and Bridesmaids is so good. And, and, uh, you know, it was awesome getting to work with him. How, what was your sort of path, uh, into the industry? Like what were you working, um, you know, on the industry side, like on set at all, or were you just sort of like,

I'm a writer and you're working, breaking away that way? You know, I made a bunch of shorts in high school and then I kind of, um, uh, you know, I went to NYU for film school. And so I was always kind of making stuff, um, but making shorts like pretty low budget so that it was low stakes and i could kind of just fuck around and learn um and then i made um i made a short called interrelated but became you know i expanded into my first feature um and kind of all that was earlier in my 20s and kind of as that was happening as i was making the short and then trying to get the feature made i was working like assistant jobs like you know the first big one was working for satchel and co and as you as you mentioned but you know

like working for a director worked for director for a couple years and and just tried to kind of be on every set that i could and is it a director we'd now see as much as much as i could um it's a guy named rob lederman who's a guy named Rob Letterman. He's a super nice guy who directed the Goosebumps movie, which was what I worked on for. Oh, cool. Yeah.

Cool. Cool. It's a big budge. You were on like a big set with like a hundred people. Yeah. Yeah. It was fun. It was fun to kind of see,

you know, see like high level kind of blockbuster shit like that and how it goes down. Oh oh there was just i think there you guys did such a good job of having like iconic lines and kind of each of us that really kind of distilled down what the episode was about and i think i think my favorite is episode two anna kendrick's character darby's dating her old boss and you guys are very uh kind to him and you don't make him a creep which was kind of like uh i was like oh like when they first hooked up i was like oh shit oh no but then it ends up being like a little bit more wholesome and but she goes to his funeral she gets drunk she makes a scene

and then when they're driving home she's being needy and she's like hey you're not you're not mad at me are you and he goes i'm not mad my dad's dead yeah that's that one makes me laugh too yeah yeah yeah and scooby mcnerry is such a good actor too but yeah just the way he kind of just the way he reoriented everything he's like look no like you're all in your own shit you're not thinking about anything that's actually happening uh yeah yeah when you land on a line like that do you know it's going to be kind of like such a clincher for the episode? Yeah. I mean, you know, it's not something where we're kind of trying to encapsulate anything,

but I think, you know, every once in a while you get a line like that. And it's just so funny and, and it does kind of hit on what you're, what you're trying to get at. I think, especially with that. Airpod down. Especially with that episode and kind of earlier in the season, like it was fun to go like, okay, if we're starting with this person kind of, you know, on the younger side, like they're going to do dumb shit.

And kind of, you know, when you're, when you're watching a normal show that kind of stays in one period of time, if the person's an asshole, you're kind of just like with that person the whole time but because we're able to kind of jump through it you can kind of have her you know have any of these main characters kind of make mistakes that then you get to you know jump jump ahead and and you're with some other version of them where they've kind of learned a little more they're like a little less shitty and and and that was really fun for us to be able to have her just like totally like tank

that and in a way that hopefully doesn't like turn you know turn people off of the character but again it's like even when i was talking about the story with my wife and how it kind of made me feel closer to her it's like i i became really interested in kind of looking back on your own life and kind of hoping that people would watch the show and then kind of think back on their own life and stuff that happened to them and, and, you know, dumb shit that everybody does. And, and, and yeah, that, that line definitely just always made me laugh as a, as a, you know, a pretty, I don't know, a pretty concise encapsulation of that, that story. Yeah. It was great.

Are you worried about like a new media kind of supplanting um traditional television at all like we just got on tiktok and we've been sure it's on there dancing you can check out our account horny we're trying to check it out because we we realize a lot of the young people on there really they're just horny and there's not super horny there's not a lot of 30 somethings representing the horny demographic but you know we're still horny too um crazy horny do you at all worry about these kind of do you worry about like nobody watching tv at some point and all just being like tiktok viewing um i don't know i mean i think it's definitely like headed in that direction but i also think already people like not even just the people who

are young enough to like be most of the people on tiktok but like i think phones have just fucked all of our attention spans and i think you know all of it i mean it's a funny thing because it's like you just think back through time it's like we're always just like wanting we're just wanting like more and more stuff to it's all just shit to look at, you know what I mean? It's all just like, we're all just trying to like fill time and it's all shit to look at. And so it's like, yeah, like now it's TikTok. And before that it was TV and before that it was movies.

And before that it was books. And before that it was like staring at a fire or something or like looking in the middle distance or whatever, but like, you know, we're looking to play, it you know i think you know i obviously love um i guess my answer would be that like i personally you know love tv and i love movies but i also know they've only been around for like you know whatever like or something you know yeah 60 and 100 years respectively and and that it all changes and that like you know me sitting here being like

oh like but what about tv shows when like when i grew up it was like oh like can't watch tv it rots your brain like you know and now it's like prestige or whatever like right it just all it all changes and it's always like it's like oh like i personally can love certain stuff or love stories that are told a certain way and i also just don't want to be like the old guy like yelling in a cloud like you know um as you know because it's gonna it's gonna change and i think especially just with phones that sort of really accelerated the decline of everyone's attention spans like myself included you know can you experience boredom are you able to like sit in boredom without stimuli stimulation um i personally like have um i just get stuck i'll just get stuck my own head usually if i'm you know not like if there's no other stimuli i'll just i'll just be

like overthinking stuff so for me it's a little harder to slow down you know i i like to try but but it's it's hard i think especially with making the show and stuff there's kind of just always something to think about and always something to try to figure out. You could always be improving or working on something or fixing something. How do you relax? What do you get up to?

I just hang with my wife. I mean, especially in quarantine, it's like we'll go on walks together. We'll go on little road we'll um you know go go on little like road trips or something but um but you know i don't know i mean i'll to be honest like a lot of my time just spent either you know with my wife and and trying to be a real person and and trying to relax or you know writing and kind of making and watching stuff do you like the before

sunrise series yeah yeah those ones are big for me those that's like definitely kind of one of the main things i was thinking about with this show and and trying to hit that that tonal balance but also just like the way you know they did the real version of it which is obviously way tighter than like the fake version where you shoot it all at once but but um you know jumping through time with characters like that and i think it's really awesome yeah i've been thinking about that movie a lot lately i just i just showed my i'm in a new relationship and i was showing my girlfriend the first one and she's a little more cynical about romance movies which is kind of a fun balance for us and then i was thinking about the second one about how he writes that book just so he'll potentially meet her again.

Right. Which I totally relate to because I'm like that. I'm like, no, I'll do something crazy in just the hopes that it'll pay off like in a romantic way. But then you were just talking about like, which is trying to be a normal person. It reminded me of Ethan Hawke's character in the third one where he's like, he reads her that letter that he writes her. And he's like, as someone who's always struggled to be present. But he doesn't feel that way to me as a character, but it's interesting that it must be for him on the interior.

Definitely. Yeah. Is it hard for you when you're running a show and you're, you're thinking about it like creatively, logistically, producerially, and then you're also just like, you know, you know, go hang out with people and be mellow. Is it hard to, to kind of switch it off, I guess. Definitely. Yeah. i have a really hard time with that and i and i'm trying to find more of a balance but you know but it's tough because

it's like when you're really in something you know at least for me like i just am always thinking about it and and and you know as i was just saying like always trying to figure always trying to figure some new thing out um but that's why it's good too right yeah yeah definitely but you know yeah well thank you but you know but it's also like you kind of want to you got to find the balance of like you know life and work and all that stuff which i'm trying to yeah are you able to like disconnect at all and like go out with friends or because i'm kind of like i have that same thing where i just want to be working all the time and people are like hey let's go hang out let's go get dinner like it sounds like the worst thing on earth yeah no it's hard it's hard i'd rather do less

yeah yeah go ahead yeah no no no yeah i mean i i try to but yeah it can it can be hard i mean i think yeah it just you know it just. I think especially in this situation where like once the show's up and running, I'm so in it that I kind of have that as an excuse and I can really throw myself into that. And, you know, when you're on the show, I mean, I, I have like, it was before COVID, but like I had, you know, three dinners with people probably in like, you know, nine months or something. Cause you're just so in it. And then to be honest, like my time since then has been in covid so it's sort of that's got me off the hook too

and in another way right right you got that shred stick back there are you surfing at all oh man no now i'm now um i'm gonna be revealed as a poser that actually is like my dad goes to like tons of flea markets and stuff like that. And gave that to us just as like a thing to have around. And now it's a, now it's just a thing that it's like people who have books they've never read in their house.

Just a poser. Oh dude. I don't know anything about that dog. There we go. I did have, I did have a brief phase in middle school where I had a Doyle foam board that I tried to surf, and then my dog actually literally ate it or tore it apart.

Oh, wow. That's a good meal for a dog, 10 feet of foam. Pretty good. Yeah. Pretty good. Yeah. Guys, we are also brought to you by our sponsor, Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for sponsoring the podcast.

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we ordered some chicken tikka masala that i'm i have inside i'm excited we have that to work we have that to work towards oh nice, nice. Yeah. All right. What up council? I am a SoCal surf rat and student and my search for love is not going well. There is a babe in my science class that I've been texting for a month or two now. I really like her, but I can't seem to get her attention for starters.

She does not respond to anything like, Hey, or hi, I can only start a convo by asking about class. Also at a certain point, once we have started talking, she just disappears. She's told me that she thinks I'm really nice and I'm a good listener, but I don't know if that means anything for my pursuit of her. What do I do now? Do I keep slowly trying to get closer or do I just move on?

Thanks, dudes. Hugs and kisses, Dave. That's a good question. Is this like a little kid or who is this person? I think he's a dude in high school and um he seems like it's like a real it's a real person it's not like a bid or something no no this is real yeah yeah dave is a real dude and he needs some real help and i'm sorry i'll take it seriously well dave we're off we're off to a tough start here because i i thought you maybe were a bit but i'm glad you're a real guy. And I think, I don't know, I think you just need to be yourself and kind of try not to worry about it and not worry about it or of thought about it all too much and worried about it all too much. And

then, you know, it's all just kind of happening in your own head and nothing's really happening in life or with the other person. So I think you just got to trust it and try to distract yourself. And if something's, you know, meant to happen, then it'll just happen. meant to happen then it'll just happen yeah i i agree i'd say you know don't worry about it too much don't don't put so much sort of it seems like you're putting a lot of focus and attention on on creating this this thing and i now sort of and in my mind i was sort of like like maybe like you know do something a little bit like do something for yourself or invest in yourself a little bit but do something sort of like off the wall that will grab her attention but doesn't seem like you know like start break dancing in the quad and that's like sort of like your thing

you know if you become like good like something like that or if you become good at it she's like she's like wow i didn't realize you had so many moves. And you're like, oh, yeah, that's kind of my thing. And then she'll be interested. Dude, I feel you. Because you're kind of talking about peacocking. But peacocking, as it was initially written about, it felt very fake. It's like, oh, wear a fanny pack or wear a goofy hat. But that's not really like a high value thing. But knowing how to break dance, knowing how to be really legit at hacky sack,

those are things that actually have value. And so if you can actually take skills, if you can work towards one of those things where you can really showcase yourself, I think that's more authentic peacocking. I would also say, dude, that sometimes we think relationships, we have an idea of how they're going to work out for us and what we're going to get in return, but real relationships never work out that way. There's always another person on the other end who has, who's going through their own life journey. And so even if she doesn't respond to you all the time, it's not a reflection of you. It's just, it's just, she's her own person and she's not always going to respond

the way you want to. So the more you can like not live and die by each one of her responses i think the more you'll actually get to know who she is and then and then you guys might work out if it's meant to be yeah totally managing a friendship with the ex what up stoke lords uh first off i have to say jt you look absolutely shredded in these new tiktoks thank you dog um okay getting into it i was in a long-term relationship that ended last summer i was having some mental health issues she was very supportive but i just needed to focus on myself so we decided to take a step back basically we've been trying to be friends but there are definitely some lingering feelings that neither of us can kick i recently started to see someone else and although it's not very serious yet, I feel guilty about it because of the situation with my ex. I'm not sure if I should

bring it up or wait to see if this relationship starts developing into something more serious. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but I also don't want to feel guilty for starting a new relationship. And I definitely don't want to make this new girl feel uncomfortable with the dynamic of my friendship with my ex. What should I do? Do I wait to see if this other relationship develops? Do I put my focus on this new girl and let go of my ex completely how do i handle this without hurting anyone or making anyone feel dumb all good all love and good vibes jay what do you guys think so he feels uh guilty about starting a new relationship so soon after his ex is that what no no he feels bad for his new girlfriend because he still has lingering

feelings with his old girlfriend and she also has lingering feelings so he feels like he's kind of uh not entering this new relationship in good faith because he's kind of got, he's playing two hands. And so he's, he's saying like, Hey, do it, do I fold one hand and just, and just go all in with, with the hand? I'm playing on this other table. And I think, you know, what you got to do, dude, you know, and look, we, this is very normal, man. I'm sorry you're going through this, but it's very normal. And a lot of people try to play both hands until they figure out which one is stronger. And then they don't fold until the river, if this is still making sense. They don't fold to the last second. But the better thing to

do, the move of integrity and the move that won't get you kicked out of the casino, if that makes any sense. I don't know what the casino represents. You got to fold one of the hands and just try and go forward with this new girl. And you and the old girl probably broke up for a reason i've gone back with an ex and it doesn't work there's a reason you guys broke up i you know there's times where it can work but i think those are anomalous i have nothing to add yeah i agree with that all right dudes all right i'm gonna be silent on this next one. What up, Chad and JT? We just think you answer all of them. First off, thank you.

I would do it too, dude. First off, thank you. I got that in me. First off, thank you so much for boosting the stoke for me with my GF, with the dank pod and all the great Instagram content. I'm a 20-year-old stoker who just basically realized that my ego is what's driving the issues in my life. Not a douchey show-off ego, but more of what I self-labeled superhero syndrome.

Basically, I always think I can handle more than I should take on, which leaves me exhausted from a constant juggling act of different commitments, managing relationships, and deciding how to spend my time. This partially arises naturally living at home from college, now splitting time between each of my divorced parents and my girlfriend. But I also think my ego raises the anxiety because i always want to keep each of them happy and feeling like i spent enough time with them chad i know you're a workaholic and i'm curious if you ever feel like you stretch yourself too thin and how you deal with it

jt i feel like you're constantly working out your ego and i'd love how do you know to work on it without being too self-critical thanks bros keep crushing that was nice you did uh uh i think it's a good question i think we were talking about it a little earlier but it's definitely hard to find the balance i don't know what your approach is but i'm kind of always it's just something i'm always working on yeah yeah yeah i don't know like none of us have found a solution is what we're saying to this yeah yeah that's true i don't know that there is one i think you gotta just keep at it yeah yeah one thing one thing i I've found is that's really great is little rewards, you know. Sometimes if you feel like you're being so disciplined and like, or you're kind of being hard on yourself,

or you're like, I got to keep working, or I got to keep, you know, on like this diet or whatever it is, you know. It's like if you establish little rewards for yourself you know like you're like oh friday i'm gonna get a mcflurry um you know or i'm gonna reward reward myself with the michael jordan documentary or something like that um yeah that that that helps me a lot um but i think yeah i mean it mean, it's, it's kind of, I think, I think just being remembering to, to reward yourself a little bit in those little ways.

Yeah. I think also realizing Sam, you go. No, I was just going to say great. That was a great call. Oh, thank you. I think, I think also realizing control is kind of at the crux of a lot of stress. You know what I mean? Is that we think we can control, like you think you can make your, you can keep your parents happy.

You can keep your girlfriend happy. And to an extent you can influence those things. But in the end we really have very little control of what works out. And, and actually I've been wrong a lot in how I try to control things. Like, you know, working with Chad, we'll disagree on like a creative thing and I'm wrong all the time. So I'm literally being reminded all the time that if I was in control, it wouldn't actually be better.

So just realizing that like you might be, you know, Superman in the shows is right all the time, but he probably in real life would like, you know, save the wrong person or he'd like throw a tank to save someone. And it would like land on like a family. And then you'd be like, Oh, maybe it'd be better if you just chilled a little bit. Yeah. He kills a family, dude. A really good family. Oh man. Oh dude. Here's a stressful one. one girlfriend's new landlord is super hot

my dogs my girlfriend of a little over a year is moving to a new apartment in a few months she told me to look up the ins the landlord on insta so i did the dude is a dime why did she tell you to look him up to like revel in it with her the dude is a dime 10 out of 10 apparently he tells people he's had sex with miley cyrus and honestly it's believable how can i how can i establish myself as an alpha if i ever run into him plot twist he's renovating the first floor unit directly under my girlfriend or squad for himself so his passionate lovemaking soundscape will surely leak through the floor what if he has miley over truly yours john this is an all-time question I think if he has Miley over then he doesn't have to worry about his girl because the guys with Miley you

know so maybe great I would say I would say the best thing is to hope their sounds come in from the lower floor and then and then he's uh spoken for great call dude my my last girlfriend was gonna have a college basketball player move in with her i was freaking out dude i was like i was very transparent but i was like please do not do this i was like i just want to sleep at night do not this dude was like 6 10 i was like and jacked i was like do not have this dude move in and then fortunately it fell through um i don't know dude i don't know what to do i guess jt that there's your nick the naked thing that you do oh dude yeah so when i was in high school what i used to do is to to just to to thwart the alpha i used to throw a lot of parties and i never hooked up with anyone and what what happened a

lot of times is really cool guys who were genuinely cool would come to my house and they never hooked up with anyone. And what, what happened a lot of times is really cool guys who were genuinely cool would come to my house and they would hook up with all the girls I was in love with and sometimes in my room. And then I would drive the girls home the next day. It was cool. But then what I would do sometimes to thwart the alpha males is, is I would, I would get butt naked for the party. And then when the guys would come over, they were like, not to judge these guys, but they were homophobic. And so when they saw me naked,

they were like, dude, what the hell? And I was like, dude, it's all good. Come on in. And they were like, fuck that, I'm leaving. I was like, that's right. Get the fuck out of here, dude. And so you can do that to the landlord, but it's dicey.

I wouldn't do that. And it's a different world we're living in today. And I wouldn't do what I did now. I but what i think chad's saying is is that this guy has uh everyone has a vulnerability yeah and um sam you're really running waters with us here i'm sorry man uh yeah everyone has a vulnerability you know this guy there's something that you i would say don't worry too much about the alpha landlord because there's something that you bring to the table that's special you know and um so yeah there's something sweet about being the guy who hasn't slept with Miley Cyrus. There's something very vulnerable and genuine in that.

And I think your girlfriend will. She knows that, you know, she knows that you're you're you're the guy. I mean, this guy, you know, maybe super hot, but he's probably not the guy for her. He could be just like a super hot guy to look at. You know, that's often what what's going on and iron sharpens iron like you know yeah i think sometimes we just get frustrated that we have to deal with this shit we're like why the fuck does life keep making me like rise to the occasion it's like well guess what that's life so rise to the occasion get more shredded read more books be more

on your on your own progress and then you won't have to worry about this dude i know that's kind of like a harsh way to think about it but there's also something empowering about accepting the challenge totes all right last question bro with a broken heart what up stokers me and my boys have a real close crew and we all live together at college right before q team we got a tight we got tight with a crew of girls really sweet chicks cute great personality and sense of humor one of my boys started hooking up with a chick in this crew and they had a nice relation but recently broke up they both had the feelings that they wanted to see other people and not get too committed of a relationship while in college despite this reasoning my dog is still

super down in the dumps facetiming me late at night in tears he even refuses to go out to dinner safely outside with these girls because of the ex-relationship now i'm finding it hard to be chill with these chicks out of respect to the feelings of my bro what do you guys think is it putting my bro in an awkward position trying to kick back with these girls and how can i help him Hank. Sam, what do you think? It's a tough one. I think This is kind of like episode 8 of Love Life. It is a little bit.

I don't know. I think you gotta hang in there for your buddy. And I don't know. I would prioritize that. But I don't know. I would prioritize that, but I don't know what you guys think. What do you guys think? I mean, I cry over my feelings of love a lot,

but I think what you got to tell your bro is is that while the feelings you feel are real, the thoughts that accompany them aren't necessarily real and that even though he's super busted up about this girl, the reality of it is, is that they're both probably better off without each other. And that the more he can embrace life beyond what happened in the past, the happier he'll be. Now, is he going to hear that? Maybe not, but you can just tell him that when he asks. And then you got to not worry about it, dude. You tell him how you feel and you be there for him. And then you got to live your own life. If you want to hang out with these girls he'll come to realize that it's not a transgression you just gotta you gotta live your life and and then hopefully modeling that will

inspire him yeah i concur i do too yeah i think you gotta you gotta help him uh i don't know you know i think i think the way to help him might be to get him over it yeah can't can't hide it is funny it feels like a lot of these questions are like someone's really worried about something and all we can kind of tell them is like you gotta try to stop worrying about it yeah yeah and in due time yeah you'll look back on it and you'll be like oh what an interesting time in my life you know it's all good exactly it is all good and and uh yeah take your buddy out for like a you know it's like a diner and go go get an omelet you know just just be there for him what are we putting in that omelet there we go uh sam what are you putting in the omelet? I'm honestly not a huge omelet guy.

Oh, interesting. What would you opt for then? A little more of a scramble guy probably. Nice. Eggs Benedict? No, I go simple. I would do a scramble with spinach and cheese and bacon or something like that. When you're at a buffet and they got the omelet guy you tell him just to hit it as a scramble uh depends no maybe in that case i would do the same thing as an omelet but i don't like not like

omelets i just probably wouldn't opt for them but yeah maybe sometimes but usually you tell the if you tell the omelet guy to do a scramble he'll make an omelet and then he'll just fucking chop it up and that's not really a scramble so usually you just go for the omelet right well said um yeah and i think a lot of these dudes who write into our into our show are danny two phones if danny two phones was writing into a podcast right there you go that's a good that's a good way of putting it but yeah i think they need to just uh chill who does danny two phones end up with the flow do you know who he ends up with it's a good question we don't know yet could be could be something we uh revisit who knows is he circling back in season two not and i you know there's

there's no concrete plans for it but it is it is fun to know that any of those people could could kind of circle back yeah i love this love this high maintenance weave. You guys are right. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. I have one last question about the show. I know some of these questions are very specific, but I saw with the Magnus character, I think you made a super clutch call. You didn't allow the character you initially wanted him to wear a fedora and then you decided against him wearing a fedora because you thought it would tip too easily to the audience that he was a douche and you really wanted the question of

whether he was a douche to play out over multiple episodes so yeah yeah yeah no it's just that's that's exactly what happened we sorry i didn't cut you no i i didn't really phrase it well as a question but when did you realize that the fedora was just it was too big of a douche tip i think we laughed about it for a second and then it was sort of like you know it was sort of like we gotta hide the ball on this one and we gotta kind of you know you got you really got to buy into their relationship and if we make him kind of too broad of just like a hipster you know dingleberry then people will see it coming and and you kind of want them to buy into it and then and then you know change it up i i saw you kind of want them to buy into it. And then, and then,

you know, change it up. I saw a life coach and I had a really bad webcam porn addiction. And I was like, Hey, and I was like, do you think I'll ever get over the shame of it? And he's like, you will for sure get past the shame of it.

But then I saw he had a fedora behind him on his desk. Right. Can't take his advice. I was like, I can't listen to this guy on shame. Yeah. Nobody's talking about. Yeah. That's the wrong guy to ask all right sam enjoy uh the chicken tikka masala dude that's a good dish thank you man

thank you guys i appreciate it thanks for talking to me yeah thanks for coming on the pod it was great chatting with you yeah likewise, likewise. Stoked to see season two. Dude, super pumped on it. Yeah. Is Anna coming back? Anna will be back, yeah. She's obviously the main person we'll kind of weave through the second season. Cool.

Oh, nice. Very cool. I think I saw her when I lived in West Hollywood briefly, and I think I saw her at my crunch which is like the gym could have been I don't know really about her what her gym is I wish I could tell you

that's the whole story I just walked by I think it's Anna Kendrick could have been I'll ask her about crunch let her know if she saw me oh nice yeah let it let ask her if she saw me just you know on the treadmill crank i was cranking awesome i will do um thank you guys thanks for coming on. Yeah, be well, man. Have a good night. Later. Yeah, you too. Have a good one. Later.

Nice, dude. Nice. I'm going to get a Topo Chico. Okay, I'm going to go to the restroom. What's up, Stokers? You got just me here right now. It's Chad. I'm sipping on a nice Topo Chico. Topo Chico.

It tastes of – it's got a twist of lime hint in there and um yeah it just makes you think of lime sometimes you know it's like when did we establish limes as the party fruit you know it's it could have very easily have been oranges but it's like no limes limes are the ones that are going to go with tequila limes are the one that you think of when you you know once you um want to break out a speedo in barbados you know if you're going to juggle something on the beach in a speedo it's going to be limes and if you're going to throw a freaking fruit in your drink when you're really trying to get turned up and to let the world know that you're ready to rock and you're ready to you know get on top of a table and start you know thrusting hard

you're going to be drinking a drink with a lime you know vodka soda tequila and soda a tequila shot vodka soda tequila and soda a tequila shot a lime ricky you know if you're more on the sober side a key lime pie for dessert afterwards when you're talking to a nice lady that you had a really great connection with and you know you find yourselves just twerking to an LMFAO song. And you're like, hey, want to go get some key lime pie before we knock boots? Yeah. What's up, dude? What's up, dude?

You just hitting that? No, I did a little monologue on limes. Oh, hell yeah, dude dude because i'm having a topo chico with a twist of lime nice dude that's a great name for something topo chico it is you want to get into it you ready uh yes yes sir chad who's your beef of the week sir chad who's your beef of the week um my beef of the week my beef of the week is with like identity you know damn bro and i'm not talking about like identity like an existential thing more of like your identity in terms of like within the government and then within like banks and stuff it's like why does life have so much paperwork you know what i mean it's like why do we have to be why

why is there why do we have to have why is there so much documentation um so trying to to why do we have so much documentation for like our existence you know it's like a social security card a passport a driver's license you know and then you all these banks and then uh insurance and stuff and it's like you got to keep telling people when you're moving and stuff it's like just let me let me live dude let me live let me be free yeah you know what's about it too is that it's it's recurring it's like it's not like you establish it once and you're done it's like they're like 10 months later they're like hey you got to do it again and you're like i already did this yeah like like registration for your car

that little sticker you got to put on your license plate. I have to do that every year? Yeah. Every year? Why? Why? Yeah. How about I got my license plate, I got my car.

Shit's paid for. Let me cruise. Yeah. Why don't you register it? You know, state? Completely. Dude, my beef of the week is with, it's another fight story. Sorry, guys, I've been so aggro lately, but I just, I feel like telling fight stories.

It's a part of me. This beef is, and I might have already told this story, but it was with Nico and Chewy. They were kids in my first grade class. They weren't in my class, but we had lunch at the same time, same grade. And we would play basketball every day. And they just bullied the shit out of me. I mean, they'd foul me.

They talked trash to me. Chewy would call me a maggot, which I didn't know what it was. And neither did my parents, but I knew it was hateful more because of what it rhymed with than what it actually was. But he would just call me that every day and he'd hit me and he'd bully me. And it was really messing with my head and with my day-to-day happiness. And I finally asked my parents, I'm like, hey, what do I do? This kid

won't stop bullying me. And my parents were like, you got to punch him. And I was like, okay. So then I went to school the next day and I went to play basketball, but I already had my mind made up that he was getting socked that day. So I drove to the basket. He fouled me, but so much lighter than he normally did. But I was just waiting for the slightest provocation. Right when he hits me, I just walk up to him already crying. I'm already crying and I pop him in the face, but I'm like 70 pounds. So he doesn't drop or anything. He just hits, takes the punch, looks at me. He starts crying. He punches me back. I take the punch. I look at him and we go, all right, now let's go tell the yard duties who were like the adults that would supervise us during recess. As we're walking to the yard duties who were like the adults that would supervise us during recess.

As we're walking to the yard duties, which is about a 200-yard walk, I pretend that I have to tie my shoe. I get down on one knee to tie my shoe. I have Velcro shoes at the time, the strap kind. I fake put the strap on. I run up behind Nico. I think it was Nico. I run up behind Nico, and with an open palm strike, I hit him in the back of the neck. He falls to the floor crying. I didn't even think from the pain.

I think from the level of betrayal I had committed. I don't think he realized humans could be that dark. A bunch of girls come running over and they're like, oh my God, you monster. And I look at them with complete angry dismiss dismissal and i just go you don't even know and i just keep walking to the yard duties i can see you walking away too i was like you don't even know and they're like you're a monster and i was like yeah maybe it looks that way if only you knew the fucking truth and then i got to the yard duties i was like hey i popped nico he

popped me then i cheap shot at him we got to go to the yard. Dude is like, Hey, I popped Nico. He popped me. Then I cheap shot at him. We got to go to the principal's. He ended up, this is how unfair school systems are in all systems. Really? Like you were saying, he got in more trouble than I did.

Cause he had a track record of kind of being a troublemaker, but we ended up being really good buddies. And then a year later, some maniac was at an afterschool event with us and me and him fought the kid together. And the kid, really? Yeah. And the kid kind of beat our ass but we but we hung in there together as brothers so um that's cool that probably felt better than if he had beat his ass it did feel good to be going

because this kid was a he wasn't even uh physically stronger than us he was just nuts and he was like throwing angry kicks like with his shoe like i remember a parent was pulling him off of one of us and he just kept kicking trying to get our face with his shoe and i wouldn't have done a move like that in second grade although i did cheap shot a kid in the neck so i shouldn't take too high of a high road um yeah that's that's my beef of the week um chad who's your babe of the week uh my babe of the week my babe of the week I only had my legend written down because I was like I'm gonna let my babe

and beef come to me Cindy Prado dude that's a great one she's always my babe of the week I mean I have a GF that I love, but, you know, Cindy Prado, she's on Instagram. She always wakes up dancing, you know, in a nice outfit.

Just super happy person, super hot, always working out. Inspires you to want to, to you know just get out there and enjoy your life and and and she's always like she put up some fiery you know stories one day where she got a message from some guy who was like yeah keep faking like you can afford that million dollar apartment that you uh shoot your videos and we know that like your your man pays for it or something and she went on this whole thing of like i work hard every day and i've worked to to to build this following and get and you know and and become uh an influencer and a model and to and i i fought my way into the modeling industry because they always said I was too short to be a model,

but I got in through my own accord through social media and it was super inspiring. And I sent her a message. I was like, you go, Cindy, like freaking tell that douche, you know, dude, that's fire. And yeah, she's just awesome. And, uh, yeah, I hope she, I hope she like hits us up one day and it's just like um if if she were to tell me that i made her stoked that'd be cool that's nice dude dude my baby of the week is graham crackers it's long overdue i've been enjoying them since i was a kid if i go into a pantry

and that's one of the options it's my top option i think they're just i don't know they're kind of like saltines but more fun to eat and salty yeah but they got a little more sweet pop to them but you don't feel like you're being too gross. It doesn't feel like you're eating like, you know, like pudding or something like that. It feels like you're still kind of like on the high end of the healthy, unhealthy spectrum. And I don't know. I just had like seven of them today. I had like six yesterday. I didn't realize me and Joe had a bunch left in our upstairs cabinet in our,

in our, in our tall cabinet. And, dude, I've just been ripping through them, and they're so delicious. And, I mean, then you put them on s'mores, or you taste them in milkshakes, and they're always a good addition to anything. So Graham Cranston, you're my baby of the week. Dude, I freaking love them. They taste so good. They're so good.

You can eat them all day. You can eat them all day. Dude, you get it. That's what's up, dog. They're the best. You had the ones with that like actual cinnamon on them yes they're so dank those are really good yeah nice who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is my hips uh not just for the mobility and for the ability to help me walk and sit and, you know, and do this, you know, move back and forth. But just the fact that they gyrate and they thrust. They do.

that allow you to thrust and to show the world that you're horny and to either back your dong away or present it forward. Hopefully in a respectful way. That's not. That's appreciated. So I just want to give a shout out to my hips. Thank you for staying well lubed. Thank you for just gyrating nonstop and allowing me to do hump motions in the air. Because that's what's up. That is what's up.

That's what's up. Well said, dog. Thank you. My legend of the week is Healy. He's a musician. And he has this song, Tucson, that I think right now is my number one song. That when I'm feeling kind of like moody and emotional and like the protagonist in a romantic comedy going through kind of a second act dip. Because, you know, my love is coming at the expense of my career.

My career is coming at the expense of my love. Or some kind of very relatable human struggle. I like to walk around to his music and just be like, and just bop to it and be like, all right, man. Yeah. I'm in a music video right now. And I'm just the character that's feeling so much. And this song is, is the voice of that feeling. So big ups to Healy.

That's on Tucson bangs. It's deep. It's meaningful. It's, it meaningful it's it's it you you it's a song you can dance to but feel to as well so a lot of a lot of love to him for that hell yeah Chad what's your quote of the week my quote of the week comes from the song uh I'm Real with Ja Rule and J-Lo. So good. Don't ask me where I've been or what I'm going to do. Just know that I'm here with you. Don't try to understand.

Baby, there's no mystery mystery because you know how i am i'm real what you get is what you see what you're trying to do to me you want to say your mind be with me all the time you're falling so in love and you just can't get enough you're telling all your friends she's a bad bad bitch bitch. Fuck yeah, dude. Bro, I didn't know you were going to get so deep in the flow there, dude. Oh, dude, thank you. Goddamn. Yeah, dude.

Thank you. My quote of the week I picked up from Paul Feig in one of the post-Love Life episode discussion chunks. And he says when he writes, he thinks about what George Bernard Shaw, the great playwright who wrote Pygmalion, said. He said, all men mean well. He writes his characters from that perspective that all men mean well. I think that is a good baseline to understand the world

from. Every time you see someone making a mistake, they're actually trying to make things better with that mistake. If you come at them from that place of good faith, you can kind of reach a resolution quicker i think yeah yeah hell yeah what's your phrase of the week forgetting after it uh my phrase of the week forgetting after is um

hey is that an italian chop nice dude yeah dude my phrase of the're getting after it is from the film remember the titans it comes from a pivotal scene in the film where it's the first integrated football team racially in the state of virginia i think it's tc williams and the uh both sides have great cynicism towards one another the white players and the black players can't get along. And then the best player from the white side, Bertier, goes up to the best guy of the black dudes, Julius, and he talks to him about his lack of effort in practice. And he says, hey, man, you're giving no effort. He's like, that's the worst attitude I've ever seen. And then Julius tells him, hey, your white guys aren't playing hard for their black quarterback. So why am I going to play hard?

I'm just going to get mine. And then says attitude reflects leadership which really stings brittier so coach boone played by denzel washington is letting the players figure this out because he knows that they need to bond independent of him forcing it for the team to be strong so then one of the white guys doesn't block for the black quarterback and then brittier gets in his face and he's like when are you gonna block for him right he's like if you don't block from this next play i'll knock you out so long that you'll need a new haircut that fires julius up that that brittier is holding his white guys accountable julius lights up the quarterback on the next play then brittier runs up to him and this is my phrase that we forget after him he goes oh julius you really stuck him on julius like yeah i love a little contact and then brittier goes strong side

and julius is scared in this moment he doesn't know if he can trust brittier enough to go with him on this moment but he looks into his eyes and he sees that he can and then batir goes strong side and julius is scared in this moment he doesn't know if he can trust batir enough to go with him on this moment but he looks into his eyes and he sees that he can and then he goes left side then julius goes left side and they go strong side left side that's awesome we're gonna after it strong side left side that's the harmony that we need that's a great flick good movie yeah all right dude well i think that's it yeah sweet thank you emma yeah of course great up guys good to good to see you through zoom yeah socially distant hanging isn't that what we're all doing now yeah i hope you're having fun in maine stay safe up there yeah you guys too so are you guys traveling for the holiday yeah i i'm going somewhere in january oh cool i guess we are traveling too yeah

if you need advice, these guys are really nice. You want to know what to do and where to go. When you need someone to guide you, just have the girls beside you. Go and see. Go and see. I'll be starting you going deep Going deep Let's go deep I'm going deep You're getting dainty