Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 179 - Joe Marrese and Strider Wilson Join
Episode Date: March 26, 2021What up Stokers, this week we've the four horsemen of the chillpocalypse. In a brand new studio! Sign up for new merch here: http://www.shopcgd.com​​​​​​ Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Of...f and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion.
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how do i start this up i mean there's the usual but i feel like
maybe i'll just do the regular intro and then we'll acknowledge where we are yeah whatever
you're feeling but maybe like being like welcome yeah maybe say something up top yeah stokers this is the beginning of a brand new
era of the going deep with chad and jt podcast we are coming to you live or this is recorded
right now but from the new stoke hq nice dude jt's guest room what's up my podcast studio
but if anyone's crashing here they can sleep on
the couch yeah and there's a b room right there so you can hop in but you know um slap my ass and
put on the sauce what up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep
of china jt podcast guys before we begin i'll remind you once again that we are brought to you
by manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure
that our dongs are looking fresh and clean because covid spring break is right around the corner you
know what that means spring break is in your pants what does that mean for you guys that spring break
is in my pants yeah it's where the party is.
It means it's where I feel my excitement.
Nice.
Yeah.
That thing makes me think about having a fat boner.
And surrounding that fat boner, what are your pubes looking like?
Trimmed.
Plush, clean.
And it's actually, well, spring actually makes me think there's going to be new growth.
Right.
Right?
But tamed.
Yeah.
Well, with the Lawn Mower 3.0, you can go with different, you know, lengths and stuff.
And so you could, you know, it's spring.
Cleaning.
Spring cleaning.
Nice.
But you could also, you know, along with cleaning comes new blossom of pube flowers.
That doesn't seem to fit right in my mind.
No, it's appealing oh thanks yeah anything flowers
well guys i have an exclusive and this goes for you too aaron 20 off discount use code go deep
20 manscape.com i'm here with my compadres and thomas what up boom clap stokers and we're here
with uh we gotta do with with the with the first pod in the new space,
we got to have the four horsemen of Chillpocalypse,
the engagement empresario, and the biggest dong in the room.
Oh, sorry, Strider Wilson, the biggest dong in the room, Joe Morisi, what up?
Oh yeah, no one's mistaken that. No one's mistaken who's got the biggest dong in the room joe maurice what up oh yeah no one's mistaken that no one's mistaken who's got the biggest dong in the room even though i'm using
a big dong voice right now but of a very small small tiny peter i was impressed by that voice
but you you never like when you're in volleyball and stuff you never had the smallest wiener on
the team right top 20 21 guys on the team top 20 is that you were 20th bigger than libero he's a guy who
does back row only it's bigger than him top do you guys not respect the libero as much
on the volleyball team it's a weasel position is it really it's the type of it's the position
where when the libero and i only say this they wear a special jersey to you who played libero
who aaron no i thought you were libero okay okay okay oh that's in the back and it was aaron has a killer ass serve in his back row
player the libero can sub in at any time right that's the advantage yeah they come in utility
of it yeah it's a free sub so it's a free sub and but back row only and no down ball so they
can't swing at it they're basically just just dig specialists. Right. And some people say Libro or Libero.
I always say these things wrong.
Libro, Libero, I don't know.
What is Libero?
They wear a different color jersey.
They get unlimited subs.
They don't spike.
They're not allowed to spike.
Yeah, can't spike.
They can set.
And yeah, they cannot spike it or do down balls even, I believe,
from the back row.
Or like they can't jump and hit it.
Do you know where volleyball was invented?
Like do you know the origins of it?
Dude, that's a great question.
I do not.
I've done basketball origins, which is the United States, but I have not done.
Probably somewhere beach.
I want to say Brazil for some reason, but I know football.
Foot volleyball started in Brazil.
Yeah, is that where it comes from?
Does it have that kind of roots? It's like, like be my guess because they play volleyball with a soccer ball it's
amazing it's unbelievable to see dudes jump and land backwards like on their shoulders and they
do bicycle kicks for spikes it's unbelievable it's the most athletic thing i've ever seen
is there anything you guys would do to clown on the libero like pants him after a serve or something you know on our team the libero libero was the captain which is pretty on your college team or high
school team college high school uh connor was the captain who was also in a death metal band
so there was no bullying him he was pretty good he was the lead singer dude he's a great that music
was always hilarious though because it's like of like... And people were like, they're pretty good.
You guys got to check them out.
Yeah.
You're like, what's their name?
It's like Death of All Time or something like that.
Their band name is Stick to Your Guns, dude.
No, they weren't Stick to Your Guns.
That was a more popular band.
That band's good.
I still listen to one of their songs.
What's this band's name?
Rest assured that with a heart that's pure.
Yes.
We'll reign victorious and not let our hate get the best of us.
Yeah.
It's pretty clear.
That was good.
That was solid lyrics.
And then just after that.
And they'd all blow their voice boxes out.
They'd be like, yeah, the guy from Seuss and Anthony Green, he blew his voice box out for
the third time.
Or it's like, dude, you know, Blood Wallet was supposed to perform on the show, but.
Did you make up Blood Wallet?
Yeah.
That'd be a good band dude and
you could see how that would happen where a guy would like you know like got cut while moshing
and he bled all over his wallet and then he paid for everyone's slurpees later dude look at your
wallet exactly it's soaked in blood he's i didn't even know i was cut it's like our buddy brian is
in a he's in a death metal band oh Oh, Brian Christopher. Yeah. Brian Christopher.
Yeah, I was thinking of him as we were talking.
Did he ever go to one of his shows?
Yeah, he does the yelling.
Yeah, because he's like, I had no idea.
I think he listens to this.
Does he?
Yeah, I had no idea.
He's like, yeah, man, come to the show.
And then I started listening to it. And he's full death metal.
We went to one on Vine one time.
Yeah, yeah.
And I was blown away. I was like, yeah, yeah. And I was like blown away.
I was like, oh my God, dude.
It was awesome.
I hadn't moshed in years.
You were good at moshing.
I like staying on the side of the mosh.
And just if people come, you just shove them.
Yeah, I'm not a mosher, dude.
I went to Coachella one year and Brand New played.
And I love Brand New.
And then the mosh pit was going.
And I just turned to my friend without saying a word and just handed him all my stuff and i was like i'll be back i went in there and moshed and then
afterwards people are so sweet in the mosh a guy came up to me afterwards and just shook my hand
what are the rules of moshing dude like no punching it depends on the mosh i think some
of them have different vibes i think some of them do punch but those are like more the fringe groups
yeah but i think like that's what's going on in copenhagen but each each mosh has its own kind of like social contract that gets established
during the mosh i feel like it's an unspoken energy yeah like you sometimes like at the
brand new one i think a reason it was a good vibe is that when someone got knocked down we would
not keep trampling and we'd stop to pick the person up we were like hey like we're all good
with knocking people down but let's like be mindful of unlike what your bros did to you at rob zombie concert at weenie wash one time yeah i blacked out drinking at a
at a concert we were joking about this on call of duty i was so drunk i was blacked out and i
literally thought that being an adult meant you just don't follow rules i was like the more rules
you break the more adult you are i was really dumb and so the bathroom line was too long so i peed on
a bush and then i just hear this guy on the other end of the bush go what the fuck man and this guy stood up he's
like dude you're peeing on my back and i was so blacked out and i was like i was like dude oh dude
i was like kind of being a dick though but i was like oh dude i'm so sorry man i'm like but whatever
like i wasn't being i was a total asshole and he's like how would you he was actually a pretty
reasonable guy he's like how would you feel if someone peed on your back man
yeah and i was like yeah man that suck and then uh but then i went back into the concert you
thought it was a bush it was like a bush and i didn't realize it was a thick enough bush i didn't
know there was a body on the other side oh right just sitting there like having a cigarette and so
i started peeing on the bush like in front of people and then this guy just i just hear a voice be like hey man you're
pissing on me and then um and i was just an idiot but then um i went back and i passed out i i was
blacked out and it was so hot out yeah and so i just went to sleep on like the concrete floor
yeah and my buddy ross was jumping up and down during rob zombie and he stepped on my head
like five times so i thought i had like a four-day hangover yeah
and i went to the school nurse and i was like dude i got bombed like four days ago yeah and
then he's like you still have a headache and you're having like dizziness issues and i was
like yeah that's not a hangover he said do you have any like physical contact or anything and
then i like kind of remembered ross stepping on my head i was like yeah my friend stepped
on my head at lunch he's like yeah you have a concussion. Yeah. Yeah. You looked at him and you go, have you heard Rob Zombie?
Yeah.
Dude, I do.
Have you heard my friend hear Rob Zombie?
I remember when we were at Brian's show, I got the itch, though.
I do want to mosh.
It's fun.
It is really fun.
You get in there.
You get the energy going.
Wasn't there one guy usually that polices the mosh?
Yeah, there's one guy who takes on the role of the father of it.
But I've seen wild ones where it's like no one can control it.
My brother was pretty good at mosh.
He's got that low center of gravity.
Oh, right.
Yeah, I'd like to see him mosh.
I think I've told this story before.
But we look super Jewish, my brother and I, even though we're Catholic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And my brother knocked.
He really – it was a clean hit, but he hit this white head or white head skinhead guy
down to the ground and the guy like was like totally out of it and his buddies picked him up
and then his buddies went into a circle and they're like all fucking pissed and then they
turned to my brother and they started doing the hail hitler signal with their arm yeah my brother
was like he was like trying to scream at them he's like i'm not he's like he said i'm sorry but
i'm even i'm not i don't know what look'm sorry, but I'm even, I'm not.
I don't know why.
Look, just relax.
Your hate is wrong on every level.
And then they were just getting super fired up and we were like, what are we going to do?
What are we going to do?
But they didn't do anything.
It was fine.
Yeah.
Jeez.
But that happened a lot where people would think I was Jewish and then they, I thought
they were going to beat me up for it.
Right, right.
Yeah.
In mosh pits or just in life?
Just in Orange County. Right. Yeah, in Orange County. There's a lot of anti-Semitism there. thought they were gonna beat me up for it right right yeah in mosh pits or just in life just in
orange county right yeah there's a lot of anti-semitism anyway yeah orange county dudes
like they had this gang like what was it called not deuce uh who's the gang that was like the
dana hills gang oh you can look them up on wikipedia now the lords the lords yeah yeah
and they were all like well-to-do kids but they were all really into mma and they would just go to parties and beat people up you hear a story where it's like
they beat up duncan's dad like they just went over to his house and duncan's dad got beat up
it's like why it's like because he's got a hot dog come out i heard a story like that
i don't know if it's a real story but there was a rumor that someone in the hunt club like this
gated community threw a prom party and like a bunch of just animals pulled up in their lifted
trucks and like took the house over for a night yeah there's like a matt dylan movie
from the 80s about that like just uh you know youth and revolt and in nice communities
he's a dentist he's gotta go to the dentist now there was one there was one psycho kid who was in
a gang i think his name was i don't want to say his name but one of our friends went to his 14th birthday party and the kid and his dad
just fist fought like the dad was like a maniac alpha male probably alcoholic and he came downstairs
he was like shut the fuck up to his kid and his kid was like fuck you dad like you treat mom like
shit and you're never home and you're an asshole. And then dad was like, you better
back off. And then he sent him
and the kid and his dad. My friend described it
as one of the best fights he's ever seen.
Amazing.
That's so funny.
Imagine that birthday
party, dude. Fucking bounce house.
There's a dude like doing magic there.
Pull a party out of the hat.
I just think the idea of like a group
like the sons of anarchy sell like weapons to fucking you know
on the black market like the lord just beat up dads
you're a dad you got a kid you're an oc look out dude
one of your buddies was gonna fight
someone i know someone we know wanted to fight a really good friend of yours and i was trying to
set up the fight i was like yeah you guys will fight it like the kota de casa general store it'll
be a good fight and then your friend was like i don't i'm not gonna fight and he's like tell him
i'm not fighting and if we do fight i'm bringing my backup and i was like who's your backup i
thought it was like some straight edge kids from like another school. And he was like,
you don't want to know who my backup is. And then years
later, I found out he was going to bring his gardener
and his gardener's
friends to a high
school fight. They would fuck
shit up.
They would say no, dude. Like, what are you talking about?
They're just going to do a fight.
A 15-year-old?
They pull up. The fucking chainsaw, like a fucking weed whacker. They're like, I'll make up a name for him.'re like zane like who are we fighting he's like
you're fighting that 15 year old over there it's just some grown man he's like did i get
beat the shit out of this kid that's so funny it's my god in her boss dude
if you don't stop selling guns and charming
we're gonna kick your dead that is pretty funny your dad gets beat up doesn't know why he's like
hey calls his kid in the room he's like so uh i got jumped at vaughn's by like seven maniacs and
yeah these guys like tank tops and tattoos they're like oh sorry about that dad
yeah oh was it duncan oh we'll kick his dead Yeah, these guys are stepping on my turn. Tops and tattoos. They're like, oh, sorry about that, dad. Yeah.
Oh, was it Duncan?
Oh, we'll kick his dad's ass.
Yeah.
I pissed off Max Rinelli and he said he's going to beat your ass.
You saw these dads are getting there. And he says grandpa's next.
Yeah, dude.
They're taking down the patriarchy, dude.
He's getting progressive, bro.
Yeah.
He's coming after fathers.
He's getting fathers.
I'm helping one dad at a time we knew one guy mac remember he liked to think of mac yeah and mac's dad came and filmed one of his fights in high school yeah that might be a made-up story
his dad was like a hawaiian boxer and like you know when people tell stories about other guys
and they're like hey this guy's a maniac and then they have like some story to back it up
they were like max crazy and i was like why is he crazy like he brings like mouthpieces out when he
goes out in case he gets into a fight and they're like yeah and then they're like and one time his
dad filmed one of his fights like it seems like i don't know if max crazy but his dad or how bored
was his dad where max oh god i'm gonna go fight a guy at the movie but his dad or how bored was his dad
where Max
oh god
I'm gonna go
fight a guy
at the movie theater
his dad's like
oh come
yeah
I'll film it
who was the dude
Geech dude
Geech used to
bring out retainer
or he was like
no Conley
used to
Conley
Geech
you made fun of Geech
because this is so
inside baseball
but you said
two guys were gonna
fight and Geech
came to Del Taco
to broker the peace
yeah
yeah he's like look here's the deal like you you got this beef like his girlfriend likes him you
know we can't control these ladies they're running amok so you guys aren't gonna have to fight and
be like geach what are you talking he was like a consigliere or something well he dressed like a
that was like i don't know if that's still popular but he dressed like a uh what do they call that a
greaser yes yes that was kind of popular when i was
greaser guys were like tough wax in the hair like basically you look like you're yeah and they drive
like low riders like they really committed to it dickies they were like full-on like grease they
looked like danny zucco yeah really a little more modern like they like maybe like more social
distortion than like frankie valley but yeah have you guys watched grease lately no i heard it's very
predatory right it is yeah and the song grease lightning yeah like the lyrics the chicks will
score he's like the chicks will cream like yeah that's it yeah you're like whoa dude i was watching
this in like fourth grade in summer nights they're like did she put up a fight right yeah yeah yeah
and all those guys are 40 in grease too yeah they're all for like the one
guy the guy in the rival gang has like oh dude like his skin you're like what the first person
i ever saw with acne i remember yeah it worked for the characters yeah yeah dude he scared me
but he was like 30 but he was hot too yeah he was like in a way where he is you were like he's a
villain though because his skin is bad keniki or or whatever. He's a hot dude. Very hot. Kaniki was cool.
I remember Daizuko.
Well, he's on the date with, what's her face?
He's in the car with her.
And he does the hand over.
Right.
And grabs her boob.
Yeah.
Pretty awkward.
Yeah, he just grabs it.
Like, what do you expect to happen from there?
Yeah.
Well, that was the thing when you're young.
Yeah.
You're more like checking.
You're not enjoying grabbing a boob, really.
You're just enjoying the fact that you're like checking off this huge life box.
So you do it kind of awkwardly.
Yeah.
And then you just have your hand on a boob and you're like, you're just nodding.
Done.
She loves this.
Yeah.
And the poor girl sitting there like, what is going on here?
Yeah.
Or maybe she loves it too. Maybe she's checking a box yeah probably middle school gf to see blackhawk
down and put my arm around her and didn't move it the entire movie could not move it after there's
like literally fell asleep right my arm is supposed to be around my gf in the theater
supposed to go and i didn't pull a zook i wasn't you know i'm definitely you know a weird dude but
wasn't pervert and pull my arm or a boob you know but just put my arm there you weren't a pervert
yeah i mean yeah i had sick i have sick sick thoughts
sick thoughts i wanted her to take an action movie you know about a movie now living a man
behind you know what movie did you guys see black hawk down great girlfriend to see black
you see what the lady's made of you know what i'm
saying dude did she like
it
there's no way it's a
pretty intense movie my
arm was falling asleep
during the surgery scene
i was like oh it's so
intense dude everyone
cast everyone i knew took
him to like two girls to
like save the last dance
no i'm not gonna learn
anything about character
and save the last dance
like middle school gf
gotta take her to see
black hawk down good
call see how she
reacts
save the last dance pretty good though which one saves the last dance yeah it's where julia styles goes to an about character in Save the Last Dance about your middle school GF gotta take her to see Black Hawk Down good call see how she reacts Save the Last Dance
is pretty good though
which one's
Save the Last Dance
yeah
it's where Julia Stiles
goes to an inner city school
and kind of falls
for her friend's
older brother
played by Sean Patrick Thomas
and he teaches her
how to get back
into dancing
because she gave up ballet
when her mom died
oh that's right
this sounds like a good movie
this sounds like a movie
hustling to get to
one of her recitals
you've never seen it
I don't think I've seen it
oh you gotta watch it
I watched it back in the day
love me some Julia Stiles
what's Julia Stiles
up to these days
I don't think she
she just does the
Bourne movies now
she's in a Bourne movie
every five years
she's in a Bourne franchise
yeah
great movies
she's a big character
yeah
those are good
I was re-watching clips
when uh
cause Clive Owen's
one of the assassins
in the first one really so I was watching when Matt Damon kills him yeah he's good too was re-watching clips when uh because clive owens one of the assassins in the first one really i was watching when matt damon kills me he's good too like because i was
like watching it like really like being like okay this is clive owen let's see if you can tell he's
like what kind of actor he's gonna be and even the way in the close-up he like zoom puts his eye on
like the scope i was like that's pretty badass really yeah i like clive owen yeah he's good
yeah they got a similar vibe.
No, he hates Clive Owen.
Oh, he does?
I don't know why.
I don't think a lot of people like Clive Owen.
I remember reviews for Duplicity.
They were like, he's not charismatic enough for this role, which was pretty rude.
Yeah.
Because it was originally Keaton, right?
Duplicity?
Or did...
No, what movie am I thinking of?
That was Multiplicity.
Multiplicity.
That's a remake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay. I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. All I know is. Multiplicity. That's a remake. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
All I know is the Bourne movies taught me the word Shiza, dude.
I didn't know Shiza.
Oh, yeah.
That movie came out saying Shiza left and right, dude.
Dude, your junior high girlfriend, you guys never broke up, right?
So you're technically still together?
Married now.
She's got kids.
What's going on?
I'm pissed off.
Have you hit her up?
And you're like, what are we?
What do you mean they never broke up?
2.30 a.m. Leave a message on the ranching machine. I know this detail. What's going on? Strider off if you hit her up and you're like yeah like what are we what do you mean i'm leaving a message on the ranching i know this detail to me what's going on strider told me
they never officially broke up we just dated i called her one time her mom picked up i was like
cool and then like talked like hey so homework and then she hung up and then like literally like
as i asked her out towards the end of summer smart on my uh calculated because if she said no then
we had summer everyone would forget
about it going forward but she said yes but she's a very very nice person and she told and a friend
of hers told me but uh trying to hurt me that she goes oh yeah her name's her name is danielle
she goes oh yeah danielle says she doesn't like you but she'll learn to like you and in my mind
i was like it's very nice and unbelievably mature for my seventh grade girlfriend but at the same time yeah also succeeded in
hurting me yeah it's like oddly mature but kind of like the wrong way to probably think about
relationships yeah but i get that yeah in seventh grade you just kind of want to have somebody
and you go you you would it was like the thing like all the buddies were asking girls out and
it was like well i gotta ask her all now too yeah you feel the pressure yeah and like what are you asking out like if people
kind of think about it and then i was like all right you know would you guys flirt with your
friends girlfriends in junior high no i'm not flirting dude i'm kidding me so you just weren't
flirting period i mean i don't think i knew how to know i think i think me standing near them
not saying anything i was like dude i'm giving up vibes probably that was
my flirt but i remember i when i was in because everyone was asking girls out i was like i gotta
ask out liz so like sixth or seventh grade i was like we're at the pool i was like hey you want to
go out she's like yeah and i was calling my mom of in my mind like, oh, crap.
Yeah, like what are you talking about?
And then I instant message her like a day later.
I'm like, hey, so my friends think it's a bad idea.
And she's like, sounds like you don't know how to think for yourself.
I'm like.
She said that?
Yeah, I was like. Dude, the intelligence of junior high people.
Yeah, and I was just so like, I was like, I just like got scared.
I don't know what.
Of course.
I was like, I don't know.
Because I mean, I was like, oh, crap.
I don't want to like, I want to be tied down.
I'm in sixth grade.
Yeah, I did that.
Yeah, you want to play the field.
Yeah, I didn't know what I was doing.
I was like, oh, man.
I met a girl on spring break and she lived in alabama and i lived in california
and when i got back i found out another guy from spring break had asked her out oh really me and
her had had a stronger connection and he lived in new jersey and i was like can you leave him
and be my girlfriend she's like yeah i'm down amazing just and then a week later i was like
hey you live in alabama i was like i think we have to break up. Yeah. We weren't going to see each other a lot.
At my boarding school, the way you ask a girl out is you ask them to walk back.
So you'd be in the common area or whatever.
That's very traditional.
The main building.
And you'd walk them back to their dorm.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Hey, do you want to walk back?
Nice.
And everyone would see you do it.
It's very out in the open. The optics matter do it. It's very like out in the open.
The optics matter.
Yeah.
It's kind of like animalistic too.
It's like the other animals in the pride or whatever.
Yeah.
However you define the group.
Yeah.
And you weren't allowed in their dorms.
Like if you got caught in their dorms, you were, this is serious, serious offense.
Dorms are so weird.
Yeah.
So you'd walk them back, but you know, if you wanted to get naughty, there's a forest.
So you'd be like, hey, you want to walk back?
And then you'd start walking and you'd be like, you want to go to the forest?
You want to have sex in the wilderness?
Yeah.
Oh, let's go.
Yeah.
And then you'd just suck face.
Oh, you'd go to the florist?
Yeah.
There's a pervy florist.
Yeah.
They make flowers.
The guy from the town make
out peter postulate your father used to bring his girl in here yeah and your sons will bring
their girls in here i'm the place where everyone has a bouquet of flowers yeah joe how are you
doing i'm doing all right yeah what's new Yeah, not too much. Just got
the new roomies in and
place is looking great.
It looks amazing.
I'm in the master bedroom now, so
that's cool. I heard, yeah. Graduated
to that. That's nice.
Yeah, it's almost like your own hotel
because
you got the bathroom bathroom without getting the specific
numbers we were discussing what the percentage difference in rent should be for the person who
has the master bedroom has their own bathroom doesn't have to share one and gets one of the
parking spots in the garage there's two what percentage difference do you think that person
should pay rent wise and so there's three bedrooms there's two more bedrooms and the
two other bedrooms share a bathroom yeah yeah a
lot of people have different opinions on this the master definitely pays more right but how much
more yeah that's the thing it's better if I go okay I'm coming up with an arbitrary number this
is not the actual figure for rent but just for the purpose of thes 4,000 yeah so if everything was even it
would be in thirds 1200 1200 and 1600 or maybe 1350 and 1150 for the guys for the
guy who gets a parking spot yeah if they're yeah the parking spots are
designated yeah you got to go here's you got
to do parking spots separate figure out what the rent is for the room and then go a parking spot
cost this much and then factor that in and parking spot should be a lot dude i think it's 50 bucks
up because the other guy loses 50 bucks so it's a hundred bucks almost should be a hundred bucks up
so it's 1300 to 1100 it's a big swing when you talk about it that way but i know people
who rent spaces for like 100 bucks per month you know like maybe 75 bucks
maybe yeah but then the person the third person can just get a permit for the street
but then everyone can get a permit yeah it's only 20 bucks but you can all get those that's kind of a separate
that shouldn't play into the conversation
the accessibility of the road parking
street parking
among everybody
sometimes I try to sound too official and the words come to me
slower because of it
because I'm trying to find the perfect word
it's legit though
that's why I just use the word
legit whenever I can't think of a word I just go yeah it's legit though dude that's why i just use the word legit
yeah whenever i can't think of a word i just go yeah it's fucking legit
strata i gotta say your your dank ipa shirt is
baby you don't think i'm gonna bring on fire yeah that's a great shirt never
miss an opportunity for business did you guys get this
dank camera set up i got this legit background by the way the room looks
beautiful i like the uh horseradish couch to
the untrained eye that's yellow that is not that is a horseradish couch i love it horseradish is
having a moment in decor right now and it's really presenting itself well in this room i
fucking love this i'm not some guy i've decorated two apartments with my freaking dang fiance so
i've seen them come to life some guy actually i haven't seen the new one but i saw the old one
piece by piece just dank by dank.
Thank you, dude.
And there's always a project.
There's always a corner to turn and budgeting.
But I like the incremental approach too because it allows you to tinker.
Yeah, exactly right.
And I'll tell you, you got to decorating.
There's personality and there's someone's decorating personality.
When you say you're a lady, she likes to send stuff back, right?
Yeah, you said it.
You know you should talk to. I didn't say it.
You know you should talk to.
I didn't say like.
You said like.
I'm thinking about the right word.
I'll tell you right now.
You know who you should talk to?
My mom.
Oh, yeah.
Your mom's an artist.
She lives to decorate.
That's nice.
Dude.
Yeah.
Let's go.
Yeah.
Dude, I fucking hate decorating. My brother will will be like my brother will do it for me he's like hey do you want me to bring
over some drapes and i'll just instantly get tired i'm like why are you trying to ruin my
fucking day man yeah well there's something about shopping where i'll have a bet all right i'm gonna
go shopping and then you know like 20 minutes into shopping i get exhausted yeah shopping i'm like
this is the options this is horrible my dang i have something called target time right we were
in target one time looking at decor stuff and when we when we drove in a lot i noted i go oh
we only get two hours in here i made sure to say that a lot oh there's only two hours in here
and we're going to target we're looking at stuff and i'm like i don't know we're pretty close in
that validation we don't want to pay the upgraded rate she looks at her watch she's like we've been here for 15 minutes
well it's like that's the target time i mean i can't relate to the other 95 of the movie but
in the hurt locker when jeremy renner comes home and he's like it's it's showing you why he misses
like the simplicity of war life and he's at a grocery store and there's just so many cereals
and the shot of him just looking at the 90 options. You're like,
it just right away. I was like,
there is something profoundly sad about how many options we have.
Yeah.
But that's what the target is like that.
It just wails on you.
We went there today to get an SD card for the sound.
Yeah.
It's amazing there.
It's a total maze.
And you gotta get,
you gotta,
you gotta try.
It's like,
we need a warm body in this electronic section now to help help us out i always ask for help i'm very annoying
if i see someone with like a one of the shirts on i'm like hey do you know where i can find this
no did you got to it saves you yeah it saves you doing valet runs bro like there's 100 aisles
yeah dude you gotta you track someone down and dude look at any old person or old lady they know
what they're doing they live life dude they're gonna get old person or old lady. They know what they're doing. They've lived life, dude. They're going to get that person.
They're going to lock into them and make them go shopping with them, dude.
Yeah, Home Depot, I ask for help every time, but, I mean, they give you a look.
They do.
Hey, where are the pipes?
And the guy's like, the pipes are over there.
Like, they, you know, it's kind of like you get.
Do you think they train them to be
that way because home depot is kind of badass so i think so i think they're kind of like i think
they're kind of like you got to like shame these guys into being a little bit more masculine right
and feeling bad about the fact that they're not as handy as like you don't know where the lug nuts
are yeah well i was i was like i was trying to figure out my ice bath you know so i was like
yeah here's the thing i've got this chest freezer and i'm filling it with water and he goes like what no i'm like so i need flex seal flex seal he's like
yeah it's all down there and then it like i was asking all these questions and he's just like
he i was like i was like yeah i think i need like a hose you know i need a hose with like
um a valve and he's like i don't even fucking remember what you got
they just like he just wanted you to be building something with like well he was just like he's
like he's like yeah that's a valve kind of thing where it's just like how do you not know these
things and i'm just like i'm not not handy you're a stoke lawyer yeah i was like i'm only handy in
the drill factory i can't butcher that story but oh not at all do you do you think uh i don't know what i'm talking about no but do you what
percentage of people do you think react that way when you tell them about your ice baths
um most people yeah it's got to be near 100 yeah i still tell my dad about it i'm
you know my dad's still perplexed by well really i don't think it's that weird
maybe it's because i've known you for so long yeah yeah well i mean because we did one like
two years ago yeah but yeah before that i'm trying to think i don't know i just i think
it's becoming more normal now than than you know if it were like five ten years ago
because it's all over the internet you know like larry hamilton and wim hof yeah larry hamilton
wim hof like optimizers and stuff they're like yeah you gotta eat like beef liver and you gotta
sun your asshole and but i had never heard of beef liver until you told me about it yeah i didn't
really think i didn't think it was like a thing until a few months ago dude it was funny watching you eat it yeah it sucks well i will do it because i can see
you grappling with it like you're like you turn to me like three times you're like i mean it tastes
like shit but it's good for you no no i'd see you cut like that's the thing is it's it's horrible
it's it's it's so bad but it really does boost my stoke like the next day i'm like wow i feel very like i got all the
micronutrients i feel good dude and you eat it like it's a fight yeah you sear it dude he eats
it like sushi dude yeah yeah i sear it so it's raw well done dude no no i think it's less nutrients
yeah and i get like i get like grass-fed so it's like good quality. So, you know, yeah, you're not getting it from, I'm not getting it from like a mouse.
Where can you get that?
Belcampo.
He kills the cow himself.
Dude, it's a tonka.
One day, I think maybe I'll upgrade to that level where I kill the cow myself and I eat the heart.
I come over, I just hear a moo in the backyard.
What is that?
It's my cow maple.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I think maybe I don't think it's as weird because my brother is like a little bit a notch above and you know i'll be like yeah i eat beef
liver he's like you didn't eat it raw you know so i'm always he's always you know one-upping me
what is that like like i'm like on a workout thread and i showed everybody the workouts i
did and then like my buddy was like did you squat on the power cleans yeah i was like why'd you just
try to make it harder on me yeah like i didn't put in the work yeah
but i think he was just being genuine but i was a little bit like kind of took the wind out of
my sails right right right yeah i don't know yeah i think it's just dudes competing to see
yeah who can be the most raw but my brother he's uh i think i think part of why i do the ice baths
and stuff is to impress him a little bit
be like yeah i did four minutes in there and he's like good that's normal the older brother
kind of sets the curriculum for what's cool yeah and you're kind of like even if you're not fully
like a student of that anymore you're always kind of like okay but that's the values are there yeah
maybe that's what you got to do in home depot you got to go in there and say hey
i can't find like i need a final flathead or a Phillips head, but I did four minutes of an ice bath today.
Where do I find those?
Yeah.
You got to go in there with just beef liver in your pockets and just pull it out and eat it like a cliff bar in front of the guy.
Yeah, pencil in my ear.
With some blood going down your mouth.
Four by inch, three quarter inch plywood.
Where do I find that? You don't mind snack do you yeah it's like iced in
your pocket you get some ice in there too that's not a bad idea like a pocket that's a cooler
that's a great idea is that a good idea for a festival i'm in the steve jobs book so i'm i'm
my brain is in an innovative space right now dude have you shared your knowledge about steve jobs
it's pretty incredible dude i'm trying to think about it but i think it's such a cliche read that everyone already
kind of knows the greatest hits but he is amazing i mean did my main takeaways he cries a lot which
i i cry a lot so i was happy to see that he has no emotional governance and he never wears shoes
which makes me a lot more comfortable not wearing shoes and also having my shirt off did he always
wear because he always picture him in the turtleneck outfit was that part of his no shoes wearing type thing or is that just he did like aesthetic simplicity
yeah he thought it was like a waste of time to like care about i don't know how he looked and
stuff like that but then he did care you know so it's like that's part of that's his way of
right there's a lot of like uh he's very aware of the impact it's having you were like about obama
they would say you know how he would dress well they're like obama has seven suits he takes one suit but wear it and
then when it's clean he puts it in the back and it just goes down the line it's like they're
rather than choosing it and like whatever day lands on lands on he might have had more than
seven you know like trump actually dressed pretty simply for for his like persona and his braggadocio
you'd think he would have worn like a gold like sports coat when he won the president but he doesn't he think but he like
he has his own i i don't know if i totally agree with his taste on what's tacky but maybe that's
too tacky for him yeah well i always remember watching the apprentice back in the day he had
the shiny just solid colored ties and i never really saw that before i guess i'd seen it but he was the
first guy where i was like oh yeah trump wears like the solid gold solid pink ties that was like
ari on uh entourage that was the first time i saw the big knot right yeah ties were big and i
actually like the other stuff i like i like a skinny tie i like skinny ties too i think those
i think like early 2000s is like the big knot. And then like skinny ties came in like 2010. I like a big thick tie.
That's more.
Your thick tie guy?
Yeah, for sure.
You like a nice red tie, right?
With like sailboats on it or something.
I like like a navy or a maroon.
Yeah.
No, I don't like objects.
How many?
On the ties.
How many?
Because it's Christmas.
You've been a best man how many times?
Best man?
No, just once.
But I've stood up in a few weddings, yeah.
How many is a few?
Two or three.
I'm being competitive about this.
Why?
How many garters have you caught?
JT's caught.
Oh, I think I have caught one.
You've caught one?
I think just one.
Interesting.
I caught...
You caught one? Aaron caught one? I caught five one. Interesting. I caught, he caught one.
You caught one?
Aaron caught one?
I caught five in a row, but then everyone got wind of how I was making it a thing.
So then at like the sixth wedding.
Did they box you out?
These like six three guys were all around.
Yeah, I would have been.
Would not let him get it for the sixth time.
I didn't even jump.
Yeah, I would have been wanting to be the guy to end the streak too.
Yeah.
At one wedding, the camera guys filming, you know, the videographers are capturing the whole wedding and shit.
JT catches the garter and goes up to the camera and just goes, fuck.
Yeah.
It's amazing.
It's amazing, dude.
Dude, there's one where I jump in front of a kid who's got a broken leg and I grab it real quick.
Nice.
You should have been careful on the skateboard.
Dude, good call.
It's always a bad toss.
You got to be right up front for that you're
so smart that's exactly what it is really and it's the floor typically no it never goes as far
as people think it's gonna go yeah and then also if you're in the front you can push backwards and
box out positioning smart and also all the other guys had girlfriends and probably didn't want to
you know they didn't want the implication yeah where i was wildly single at each wedding
it's like who gives a is that still a thing like if you catch the bouquet that means you're next
yeah it's a fun tradition it wasn't there like i think i read this in a book but like one lady had been dating her boyfriend for 12 years so the bride just like walked over and just handed
her the bouquet or that's like in 28 dresses i think because she's
the only single lady still oh yeah um 27 dresses yeah it's 27 my bad what's her name katherine
heigl katherine heigl who is uh i like to say a poor man's gwyneth paltrow who vicious man
vicious this is what i said but you know what yeah pretty good interesting thank
you right because they're both kind of uh snooty too right they both kind of make you know actorly
comments like sort of unaware comments like i'm very surprised both of them didn't have heavy
heavy um you know verses in that uh remember that coronavirus video that gal gadot put out
like almost a year from right now were they, yeah. Oh, were they saying Imagine?
She would dominate.
I'm surprised both of them didn't come out with that idea.
Paltrow can sing.
Paltrow's a talent.
She's super talented.
Dude, Shakespeare in Love?
Are you kidding me?
Let's go.
For sure, let's go.
Let's go.
Very good movie.
Shallow Howe.
Shallow Howe, great movie, yeah.
You know who Country Strong?
Horrible movie.
Which one?
Country Strong.
I've been listening to music from it lately
give in to me oh yeah great great song though yeah it's got some dude country like concocted
music for country movies is always good that ryan singer guy in crazy heart he was like 25
when he made that song bro that's such a good song this ain't no place falling feels like flying
for a little while great song
country's a good
if you can't sing
you can get away
with doing a little
bit of country
except for Garth
don't fuck with Garth
my dad will still
tell me he's like
you know you should do
be a country star
you do look good
in a cowboy
you do
because when you
sent me the photos
of you on the horse
this past weekend
oh yeah yeah
I was like it works
I've seen a couple
comics do that
dude can I request
for you to send
some of those to me next time you're dressed like a cowboy can i request that from you i'll send you
something my dad gave me his boots it might have been on instagram it might have been on instagram
i personalized it to her personalize it well guess what you came up aces what would you
would you rather be a country music star or in a boy band boy band
yeah because you get to hang with your boys i mean dude there's nothing cooler than being a boy man
oh yeah every music video you ride a motorcycle on a tank top then you dance at a basketball
court and then you and a hottie play pool together come on let's take the office dude i saw a video
of justin timberlake back in the day where he comes up full bandana and he's like, and now get ready for the human beatbox.
Dude, the amount that they dressed those kids like they were black urban guys.
Oh, yeah.
Like just way oversized, like Timbaland blue jean jacket.
Yeah.
It's like this 15 year old white kid.
At the time, I was like, this is fucking sick.
Oh, yeah.
I always liked how wet they were too.
When they would hose them down.
They were hosing these kids down. They'd hose them down and they'd be wearing like blue like uh and it would stick to their skin a
little bit and i remember being like oh my god i remember being third grade i'm like these guys
are hot i was like this is the death of hot wait wait we're gonna say oh i'm just thinking of like
the dirty pop music so justin timberlake in a fedora and he's just
breaking it down you know where else can you do that no you kind of it's the best they let you
be anybody if you're in a boy band yeah yeah you always felt bad for like the fifth guy in the boy
band though Chris Kirkpatrick yeah like or Howie yeah and it was Howie Howie was the fifth guy in
the backstory boys yeah I had no idea like literally their designation was like the nice one yeah he was like really tall and quiet
spice girls were great so everyone was cool they had like cool like
sporty can you guys do it come on spice girls quiz let's go scary sporty posh ginger that's it that's it baby oh and baby yeah oh dude
and baby was i remember watching the movie as a kid just to have my little boner when i saw baby
i was like is that a spice world yeah but not but now as like an older gentleman, baby spice is a little dicey.
The infantilization of her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But as a 12-year-old.
Aaron, you know what I'm talking about.
It's not weird that you liked it.
It's weird for like the 40-year-old male producer who was like, let's lean into the baby.
Be more of a baby.
Goo goo ga ga.
Give her the pigtails.
The pigtails are come on i want
you to be monosyllabic in all your interviews and i want you to just make noises like a baby would
that's great can we get her can we get her a nice can we get her a big crib what's going on here
get her a pacifier and put her in a big crib yeah have her piss her pants where's your diaper
where's your diaper baby in a boy band that'd actually be pretty hilarious though if they made one of the guys a baby
that'd be me get her inoculated on stage it'd be incredible boosters that'd be me my pledge
name was i'm too young for this shit really yeah because i'm always like i'm 12 yeah people always
i've been saying i'm 33 a lot lately people like i thought you were 23 yeah it's like nice but also kind of insulting too yeah because of the maturity thing you want
to be seen as mature probably yeah a little bit more mature you don't want anyone to think you're
a decade younger maturity wise right but i mean i know i like it it's a very humble brag yeah
what have you you you were never the too young for this shit guy right no people always
thought i was well actually people think i'm a few years younger than i am no looks wise for sure
but persona no persona no i always was very mature you were older than your dad right
yeah oh yeah i'm sure i've heard you like pick on your dad like joe
wanted rare coins for his 10th birthday party dude i want a rare phone yeah like your dad was
like i've i was like do you mind if i do an impression of your dad i go go ahead and try
i don't know if you can i was like joe i went to the sandwich place you know the one down by uh
becky's and i got the sandwich for the third day in a row and then you go,
Jesus, slow down, fat ass.
Yeah, well,
somebody's got to watch
his weight, yeah.
Nobody's lost weight recently, so
that's good. That's good.
I'm trying to think what I make fun of my dad about.
I made fun of him for being
whipped one time he's like how do you think me and my girlfriend are getting along i was like good
good i was like you're kind of a bitch though dad i don't know why i said that yeah why did you say
that i just want to get under his skin i guess i love that you said that but then they got into
an argument later and i was like oh did i did i pop that Oh. Because I got into my dad's head a little bit.
Could be.
But not.
Maybe it's a tiny slice of the pie, but no.
He's got control.
I can't let that get to him.
Yeah, I think it's funny to call your dad.
Probably make fun of my dad for being able to get pinned by me.
Could you beat your dad up? Yeah, you could beat up Richard, right?
Yeah, I could beat my dad up.
When do you think you crossed that threshold?
High school.
Sophomore year. When I dunked at my end practice dude i dunked landed yeah with a volleyball no with a basketball
you have small hands i do have tiny little hands and a tiny little dick it's true dude it's so
hard to make fun of you because you just take it so fast but it's truth you know what i mean
yeah how can you tiny hands
yeah you can't do it no i could i could jump up and slam it down you can alley-oop no i could
dunk the basketball i know and no can you dunk none of the men's ball no no no i just i joke
honestly joke honestly a slightly slightly not like deflated but like a fully we had two different
balls for our high school like
the nike ones had a little deeper yeah the same team manager from the patriots so i could get
yeah i could get into the grooves a little better and do it and an alley-oop i could catch which
was way easier but dude even your voice right now is in total yeah like rationalization tone
but anyway no you can dog you can die i don't think i've ever seen you don't could
honestly it's gotta be the right thing.
It's a total just like wind up.
Like in a game, no.
And honestly, the true dunk is a drop step two hand slam.
If you can do that, you're dunking.
Yeah.
Me and Chad have just been watching this Shaquille O'Neal clip where he dunks on some white dude in the 90s.
And then he like, he hangs on the rim and he just totally puts his balls on the guy.
Oh, I've seen that dude.
Like for as long as he can. And then he throws the guy down yes like just like like totally little brothers
and then he points at the guy who runs on the court and the white guy gets up and he's so mad
i should stop calling him the white guy and he goes he just looks at shackle piss takes a ball
and just hucks it at him yeah who's the player he looks like oh i forget who that player is
was it for the guy on the nets
or something like that fucker chris dudley they see you see him he's like fuck you oh yeah oh yeah
jack just doesn't give a shit
jack's so dominant man people forget i love shack yeah he's your favorite
he loves you too right he loves me dude he calls me joel he knows
me by the wrong name hey joe he goes joel i go bless you i go bless you mr o'neill you valium
yeah nice didn't he see you outside the valet and he remembered you saw me at the grove dude
he was like there like promoting like he like does you know like million commercials and stuff
he was doing like carnival cruise line promotion or something like that dude and i'm coming down
the escalator and so i'm like at eye level with him because i'm on the escalator and he looks over and he's like in the middle of
signing an autograph and he goes joel and i was like bless you mr o'neill it's amazing and then
he came he was super nice he's like how you doing how's the family he's like i hope to see you guys
soon like yeah and he like my he's like met like the valet family and i was like dude we're great
man we'll see you soon he's like cool it was awesome that's really cool isn't the weirdest thing about shack now how he hates every player that is kind of
similar to him like if someone's like a big man and they're athletic but or even worse if they're
not athletic but if they're just big but they don't have like good basketball skills he'll
always be like i don't like that guy he doesn't have any post moves dude he's dadding them yeah
and it's kind of like you can see he doesn't like them because they have the traits that he got
picked on for yeah they're probably a bit unfair to him totally
yeah totally there's stuff that he everything barring free throws but like something that he
dominated or was good at or a weakness in his game that he saw he'll hate a guy for it and he'll be
like look i just want them to be better i just want like the love and it's like you can kind of
tell there's a little bit of he hated dwight howard hated dwight but i hated dwight for a while too then he redeemed himself dude girls thought dwight
was hot that always kind of surprised me i know christina thought christina and katie thought he
was hot yeah he's a good looking dude but of all the nba players i thought maybe he was like
too big yeah like kobe d wade that's where That's where I would have gone if I was fucking, right?
Yeah.
You'd fuck Kobe?
Probably not, actually.
But I'd go with D. Wade.
Oh, you'd go with D. Wade?
Yeah.
Over Kobe?
If you were to get fucked by one of them?
Well, Kobe got accused of rape.
Oh, right.
Oh.
If I were to get fucked by an NBA player, I think it'd be chris weber that's a good pick
dude yeah really good pick i'd get railed by him dude i'm impressed by your basketball knowledge
and by your sexual taste bowls banging your mom
one of the best lines of all time that's a funny movie
daniel stern love daniel stern yeah probably should have had a bigger but he gets he gets
good parts now yeah they'll cast him in like an indie movie is like the the like hipster girl's
dad love that good yeah like a detective on ncis or something like that he could do that dude i
would do that for sure what be like a detective on an ncis show oh be sick be super i mean hawaii five oh is amazing
john mulaney has that joke where he's like the victim suffered from an anal contusion
he's like he's like they had fecal matter in her ear and he's like this is all stuff i heard at
two o'clock in the afternoon watching svu you're telling me this dude gets off to little girls and
pigtails how's he doing i think he's out he's out
of real he's doing good oh yeah i forgot he did that that was nuts he just seemed like such a put
together person but it can happen to anyone yeah i i watched his uh seth meyers clip there's a seth
meyers clip from him the in from him in like november and he did seem a little bit off but
maybe i'm just projecting you know i'm projecting little bit off but maybe i'm just projecting you know
projecting his right word but maybe i'm just you know saying like oh because he's in rehab a month
later he was definitely on coke then but a lot of the comments that are people the comments are
yeah they're like mad at seth they're like i can't believe you did this to your friend seth
and like put him on when he was like i'm like i don't think he i don't think he probably ran into
him like five minutes before they started was like oh fuck yeah he's running his monologue in the hallway and
he like shakes his hand before the show he's like all right thanks for coming out like can we get
anything else well then sorry i always pictured milani's substance abuse issues similar to like
mine where i'm like yeah you know sometimes yeah it's a problem and people are like all right
like you don't see it because you're just so yeah it kind of problem and people are like all right like you don't see it because you're
just so yeah it kind of almost reads like maturity like yeah you just were making like uh you were so
focused on other things that you were cutting away anything that was a detriment even if it
wasn't as severe as it is for a lot of people yeah and it's like mulaney's super blacked out
he just can't picture him really you know destroying shit or his life because we never saw him like that too
yeah it's not like steve-o where there's like literal footage of him like huffing paint yeah
so now when you see steve-o you're like it's so triumphant yeah you're like holy fuck yeah with
millennia i was like did you really party that hard right yeah yeah but obviously it's obviously
yeah it's an issue yeah well i hope he's all right i gotta pee real quick yeah let's take a little
break keep checking i've been going i gotta pee too okay yeah let's get to the next part
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all right nice dude guys should we get into the next part yeah all right let's answer some questions
get that right what are you drinking there strider it's a little fruit smash hard seltzy
berry blast dude nice is it delicious out tonight you know fruit smash let's smash
i looked at the time i was like am i gonna have the energy to work out
no dude it's fun
to work out with a buzz i think it's easier really i mean i wouldn't recommend it all the time but
yeah i might just go body weight then so i'm not slinging anything around smart yeah don't operate
heavy machinery exactly jtr are you drinking his fruit smash i'm drinking fruit smash pink
lemonade and i have to say it's one of the best beverages i've ever had nice now is that because
chad and me are about to be in commercials for them?
No, it's actually really good.
This is tasty.
It's absolutely good. Oh, the pink lemonade is phenomenal.
Yeah.
The raspberry is dang.
And this is like-
New Belgium.
This is like New Belgium.
And we've heard from basically our whole-
Everyone we know that has tried it, they love it.
JT just chugged it.
Yeah.
Guys, if you want the hot new seltzer on the
market that tastes delicious and that's i mean it's like refreshing it and yeah hit up fruit
smash and smash then the nude album just needs to make a dank hippo dude oh yeah for sure new
belgium does they should make a striders dank hippo. Oh, that'd be awesome. That's in the works for sure.
That's coming.
Maybe that's next.
Let's go.
Let's get vertical.
Oh, and guys, check out our merch too.
Striders rocking a Dank IPA shirt.
We got Stoke Nation ones.
We got Going Deep shirts.
We got Chabow shirts, Lift Heavy, Feel Heavy.
We need to get a Joe shirt.
Maybe that's next, Joe shirt.
That'd be sick.
What would your ideal Joe shirt say or look like?
Fear the hog.
Fear the hog.
Maybe like Joe, like, you know, the Mr. Clean logo.
Yeah. But it's Joe and it just says fear the hog.
Nice.
I always wanted to have a Joe eats shirt too.
Oh yeah.
That'd be good.
Oh, that's a great call.
Dude, should we do some questions?
Yeah.
Okay.
Wife turned vegan and doesn't look like she's going back.
Send help.
Compadres.
My wife has been vegan the last two years and there are no signs of her coming back
to the good side.
We've been together for over 10 years and she was vegetarian for the longest time until
she went vegan two years ago.
She does it for ethical reasons, which I understand, but I'm a firm believer in everything in moderation.
I don't think living a life where you can't crush a nice penne alla vodka
or a nice margarita pizza once a fiscal quarter leads to happiness.
Other couples we were friends with don't verbalize it,
but I'm starting to get a sense that they are annoyed when they go out with us
because my wife always has to choose a place that caters to vegans.
What do I do?
Any advice is welcome.
Thanks.
Brando.
It's tough.
I mean, my dank fiance is vegetarian.
Vegan will be more difficult. But it's different. mean my dank fiance is vegetarian vegan will be more difficult
but it's different la is so easy every place in la basically has a vegan option or like a menu
on the side so if you're in a different city i could see where like that could be annoying for
other people yeah la it's easy you've sort of embraced it though haven't you like you eat meat
less now right oh yeah i love it i love it. I love it. But vegetarian way easier. Even the meal,
those things he said,
like a margarita or a penne
olivaca,
those are dank and those are
vegetarian.
So that's easy.
It's easier for me to not eat
meat than it would be to not
eat like as a vegetarian.
Yeah.
Vegan,
brother,
no cheese,
no eggs,
no fun.
Yeah.
Do you think he can appeal to
her and be like,
Hey babe,
I think it's starting to affect
our social calendars.
So do you think you'd be able to like hit Ruth Chris and just be satisfied with some sides of carrots and Brussels sprouts?
Yeah, they probably have broccoli with some dank garlic on there.
Tell them to hold the butter.
Yeah, you got to tell them to hold the butter, though.
Yeah, I guess.
Is she stoked on vegan? has she been happy with it because i
guess sounds like it you know if if she's really happy with it then i would yeah i would just try
to get her to possibly just not talk about it just do it you know because like if you have a specific
diet that makes you happy and that you feel like it really is working for you then if a partner would it be like you got to change that up i
would get really annoyed yeah she should you kind of got to be stoked for yeah yeah because it's
also she's doing something that's like i know it's affecting other people but really it's just her
choice yeah and i guess yeah i guess is she guess he's saying that people are getting annoyed because she talks about it?
Or does she like shame them for not being vegan?
No, none of that.
And no one's even verbalized that they're annoyed with it.
Although I could see why that'd be difficult.
Right.
I mean.
Is he just a little bummed that he can't like share pizza with her?
I think it's more him.
Yeah.
Because he's kind of reading into it with the other people.
And I think he's kind of reaching for like extra justification yeah well maybe you could see the
people giving looks when she orders the can i get the plant uh whatever you know the yeah anything
with plants you know and people are just like dude what if we find out one day that like plants have souls too they're living probably do
kale dude then what are we allowed to eat you out life eats life
dude i watched a steve ronella clip today where he gets attacked by a moose and then his friend
he's like you know i shouldn't have walked up on it but two people shoots it twice really
but he's like but they have a really strong thoracic cage yeah and then he walks over and the the gun doesn't go off and the moose hears the
click and it just bum rushes him and it knocks him to the ground his cameraman's a fucking beast
yeah he stays on the moose the whole time really yeah actually i don't even know how the cameraman
captured all this because then the camera whips to his buddy and his buddy shoots the moose right
before it like mauls him really damn and he's like i don't regret it you know it's a great experience being attacked by a moose
dude i heard moose like when you see him in real life or like the size of this room they're the
most dangerous uh wilderness animal yeah they kill more people than anything we've talked about that
before right i think hippos get the most people it's what i've heard yeah so that technically
had to be a millionaire dude that would suck to get killed by a hippo a moose is six foot like at its leg dude then it's an
animal on top of that yeah are hippos fast like are they just they're faster than us really it's
crazy how many like fat animals are faster than us yeah like elephants should not be faster than
humans why are alligators and crocodiles so fast with those little things yeah they scurry yeah yeah they're nature though yeah they're wild
they have to be true yeah we're docile creatures yeah wheat domesticated us
yeah we eat that's what Yuval Harari says yeah that little known book yeah
see everybody reps sapiens oh yeah dude yeah read sapiens dude it's it's a good book do you
do you think i was listening to joe rogan you're talking about aliens and he's talking like a
futurist and stuff do you do you think eventually we'll become you know just like little tiny bodies
with big heads hairless absolutely are we are we going towards that we're like looking like aliens
this is the first i've heard of it, but I'm in.
But don't you think that's where we're kind of heading?
I mean, with iPhones and stuff?
Because we're using our muscles less and less.
There's no use.
I mean, we could literally just, you know, we could sit and Zoom and get, you know, order Instacart.
We don't have to do anything.
Yeah, I've heard that evolution has like a direction that might even like supersede our environment so someone was saying like aliens might look a lot
like us because like although i they'd have to have the same environmental factors i guess yeah
but they were basically saying that evolution heads in the same direction yeah so maybe that's
crazy dude so this guy you know what i think he's got to do i think he needs because we were just
having such a nice little bro down talking about various topics yeah and you know like joe rogan and
aliens that's pretty male specific i guess yeah his audience i think this guy needs more bros
right because you don't want to change your wife from being vegan that's cool that she's vegan like
that's healthy and it you know i do think it's more ethical yeah with the knowledge that we have
now at least and then but if you just have some play dates with your bros where you go to like
a barbecue joint and just,
and if you come home stinking home like brisket,
she should accept you the same way you accept her for tasting like lentils all the time.
Yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
I made lentil chili with my dang fiance last night.
Nice.
And I like it when a couple has different philosophies on stuff.
I think that's smart.
Heck yeah.
Could you date a vegan? that's good she's really hot
all right middle school problems dude this is a question that's been on my mind forever and i
just thought to ask the stoke lords so my homie was dating another one of my friends but we weren't
that good friends and it was a stupid as fuck middle school relationship. But then they broke up and I was friends with both of them
still. Then the chick started spreading like bad rumors behind my boy's back. And she was just
being a total re-nob. Anyways, I just ghosted the chick. I basically pretend I didn't know her.
I wasn't mean or anything. I just kept my distance and didn't return her texts. Anyway,
then it turned out that the chick's mom cuts my mom's hair. And the girl told her mom that I was
ghosting her to be mean and didn't say anything about the bad shit so now my mom is pissed at me and often calls me
an asshole and a disappointment by her mom the girl's mom no his own mom she rides hard for the
sisters i guess i got two questions what do i do with the chick and how can i deal with the mean
comments from my mom thanks dudes podcast gets me fired up you have a good one your youngest stoker carter um is he being literal about middle school problems or is that yeah i think he's in
middle school oh i can't comment why
it's too young that's fair carter i would say you know i i and when i was your age i used to engage in this
kind of like i'm gonna be mean to this person because they were meaning you know and it's
you guys are all be well i'll be friends in like five years so i would say you know
um i don't know what to tell you to do i guess i i guess
i guess i guess i would say you know have your friends back but it's against your best interest
to engage in sort of vindictive behavior to try and you know get back at a girl because she you know it's like
that that doesn't that's not gonna get you anywhere in a positive way i would say you know
just be respectful towards her maybe say like hey i don't appreciate you talking about my friend that
way blah blah blah but i don't know yeah i don't i i, Hey, like I, I be careful what you tell your mom.
Cause it's coming back to my mom and kind of in distorted ways.
Right.
Right.
And then I would follow up with your mom and say, Hey, and be respectful.
It's your mom, but be like, Hey mom, I think you're kind of getting a skewed perspective
on what happened.
And I think you're kind of even overreacting to that skewed perspective.
And the way you're talking to me is kind of hurting my feelings.
And I need you to be supportive of me, even when I am wrong sometimes.
But in this specific case, I don't think I am.
So please don't call me an asshole or a douche or a dick or anything like that
because I really want to be proud.
Because I'm in middle school.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Her mom is the biggest lesson in this scenario.
Totally.
I'd say, dude, what's this kid's name, Dylan?
Carter.
Carter?
Nice.
Just go skateboarding, dude.
You're all good.
Yeah.
I don't'm gonna worry about
any of this shit yeah just drop it like in a few years besides your mom at this point yeah although
maybe your neighbors you guys they might score well go to the skate park find the bowl and drop
in just drop in dude just freaking chill dude grow your hair out didn't spike it dude yeah dude
experiment with gel and then go to the go to, you know, with like just two buttons buttoned and just.
Dude, a style reinvention and a good use of gel can change your whole trajectory.
My friend Chris, he left our high school and then he started wearing sport coats and he found a new way to style his hair.
Right.
And he was like the belle of the ball for like three months after that.
Oh, yeah.
Like I was like, I remember he wasn't hooking up with girls and everyone's like dude you hear chris hooked up
with holly and i was like what yeah and they're like yeah you gotta check him out now he's got
like a whole new vibe wow and he did yeah that's awesome yeah carter you should wear a vest that's
what you should do dude start wearing a vest get a poofy vest rule and get a patagonia investor
vest just wear it around be so cool that your mom even has to be like holy shit i totally
misappraised you like i was calling you an asshole the other day and i realize now you're just like
super full of swagger and it's intimidating people yeah and tell your mom just real confident look
at her go mom you look lovely today i'll see you later just say stuff like that yeah flip it on her
a little bit kindness yeah mom you look fabulous when your mom goes hey don't be an asshole go
mom it's cute when you overreact like that give her a kiss on the cheek say i love you mom there's two sides to every
story do you want to hear my side of the story before you start making claims like that okay
come on yeah and then make your mom some pancakes yeah i made you breakfast yeah also you know
every family's different too i mean it sounds pretty heavy when you're like this kid's mom's
calling an asshole but like maybe it's one of those houses where like everyone cusses and like bust
balls.
Like my mom would call me an asshole and stuff.
And I don't remember it now.
It doesn't like,
I had to dig deep to like,
and not even in a traumatic way,
but just like,
I was like,
Oh yeah,
my mom used to talk shit to me.
Yeah.
And in this kid's mom might,
and that shit happens,
but also,
you know,
as a young kid,
maybe he,
that he's not,
you know,
writing it properly. I was going to say artic articulating but he's writing in of like maybe he
felt like his mom called him an ass or made him feel that way but maybe didn't
actually use those words hmm I don't know but we gotta just choose to put on
the paper you know I mean so I'm just hoping that she didn't tank and if you
did I'm sorry dude you're chill just go skateboard and learn how to pop shove it I realize we can't
high five from
dude that's true
whoa
you guys want to like
we're gonna have to switch
maybe next time
we sit different
maybe I sit here
you sit here
smart
Joe's there
and then we just
I felt that
you may need to edit
you can
as soon as I go like this
cut to Striders.
Yeah, all these podcasts have graphics now.
Have you seen that on like YouTube?
No.
Yeah, like a lot of these podcasts, they'll have accompanying images for what they're talking about.
Oh, right, right, right.
Like the production value is like leveled up a little bit.
Damn.
Like instead of like the viral bars at top, like they've got like fucking chyrons.
Like it'll be like they're talking about like, you know, Richard Simmons or something.
And then it's him doing like his jazzercise class over here while they
talk about it well podcasting is now a visual medium it's like getting more like yeah like
the production value is going out we need to get a 3d podcasting going in here that's what's going
to be next dude just fucking coming at you dude i'm a lo-fi guy. You know what I mean? I think that's part of the charm of podcasts. I like the replacements.
Yeah.
I listen to it.
You get a 3D of Joe's dog.
Wow.
Whoa.
So we're talking about a monster picture here.
We're doing like a King Kong kind of Godzilla thing.
Yeah.
Well, this is how the podcast intro should start.
It's space, empty space.
And you hear, you know, in Star Wars,
how you see the big ship just go past you.
Right, yeah.
But in this instance, it's just all.
Oh, nice.
Very smart.
With a rolled up newspaper next to it for scale.
Right.
Oh, nice, yeah.
Very good idea. Or maybe it like ejaculates and the planet explodes.
Oh, nice. yeah or maybe maybe like thank you ejaculates and the planet explodes oh nice maybe it covers it in a in a storm or in a cold weather right apocalypse planet hoth yeah you know 2001 space odyssey
i never understood that film i never seen it all the way through it's tough to watch all the way
through i gotta watch it but the monolithic the monolith in it if you've seen it that's just
just dumb oh that that structure is just it that's just just off oh that that
structure is just does it's just in that bone that they throw in the air during
that famous shot about like the evolution of technology yeah you know
man for gorilla first using her ape first using a tool yeah yeah for
weaponry and dominate right the shows he taught you guys he chose bone do you
guys know the movie the fifth element yeah yeah yeah we're throwing through you know what the fifth element is joe's dog yep guys aaron is being such a trooper i didn't have an extra chair in my
apartment it's pretty bare bones operation so he's he's sitting on my bench yeah he's on a bench
press right now he's got it in an incline level if he were to use it were you about to say that
yeah he'd be hitting some shoulder press.
He'd be having two 35 dumbbells thrown him overhead.
Dude, you just did an Omar with 45s.
Beastly.
My second one.
That's awesome.
It hurt my neck sore, my fucking everything sore.
It's good your neck sore.
Aaron, when did you first hear about Joe Stone?
Oh, you didn't hear about it as a child?
Yeah, weren't you at like you were just at a restaurant
and people were talking about it nearby yeah you're old spaghetti factory we're at an airport
i think the word was out already you're at o'hare before this podcast people will ask me now they'll
be like have you seen joe's dog i'm like no one's seen it yeah i'm like it's just we just all trust
joe yeah what do you mean no one's seen well you don't look right into the sun no one no one no one
who talks about it on camera has yeah seen it no a lot of people have seen it no not a lot all right
but a medium amount when did you first know football high school what i don't know people would they would women would always say it really yeah
that's i don't know how because you don't know that yours is big no i know mine's very small
well no but you don't know like i don't know what you don't know how big they're supposed to be
they only they know because they see a lot of them the women you're with have seen a lot of
dicks well i don't know you know what i mean i feel you yeah there's just uh i was thinking
you'd find out in a locker room scenario i don't that's where i found out i had a small penis yeah
joe wore a wetsuit no i just didn't we didn't look i didn't look at the other guy how did you
not look well in high school i don't think you the other guy. How did you not look?
In high school, I don't think you're fully developed anyway.
I think you grow after that anyway.
Yeah.
I think you always kind of think of your own dick as like a kid dick.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because when you're a kid, you first see your dad's or something like that.
You're like, oh, that's like a man's dick and my dick will never be that big.
It gets out of pull pretty fast.
Totally. When you look at it from the angle from the top down it looks pretty pretty small
or maybe it's just small yeah no i i feel you on that i'm mad yeah joe you just see yours
your dick has a horizon huh like a fucking yeah joe when you get shrinkage, does it go, is it more like a Polish sausage?
If Joe's got a heart on, a Canadian family can get protection from the sun underneath.
Yeah.
Have you guys ever heard the riddle about Joe's cock?
If Joe gets a boner in California and a and a boner at florida at the same time
they're both traveling i don't know it creates a tornado in kansas
that's cool all right let's uh neighbor drama what's up stoke nation my upstairs neighbor and
i have been getting to know each other over the months with brief but friendly conversations by
the front door there's an impenetrable language barrier as he's from india and i can only speak
english so our conversations would mostly consist of a polite hello or good to see you followed by a
wave and a smile it's the best however a few weeks back i decided we were friendly enough for me to
point at the cigarette in his hand and say careful dude those things will kill you
i don't think it's a bad move i think since then he has been avoiding me and not answering when i
knock on his door when i ask about his whereabouts no one has an answer yesterday i saw him peeking
at me through the window and returned to hiding i was baffled replaying our last interaction has Dude, nice name tripod um
yeah i would say i don't know this is weird yeah you got to find a way to make it right
i guess you know i don't he's thinking that the misinterpretation is that this guy thought that
he says he's gonna kill him yeah and He thinks the neighbor thinks he's going to.
I think the neighbor just thinks he was like not chill for like kind of judging him for smoking.
Exactly.
Yeah.
He probably just thinks he's lame now.
Yeah.
And he's chilling.
Although him hiding and looking then going back to hiding, maybe that's where he got the idea.
Anyway, he's telling himself stories in his own head.
He's creating his own narrative.
He's just got to have an honest talk with this dude excuse me sorry pounding this up you know
what i think he's gotta do get some shades preferably ray-ban get a leather jacket
some american spirits yeah kick your foot up against the wall next to his door
knock on the door bite up and have an extra cig ready to go.
There you go.
That's a much better scene than I was portraying,
but I was literally like, just smoke cigarettes now in front of the guy.
Yeah.
Every time you walk by him, just light up and be like, hey.
Then to quote Kramer, if he asks for a cigarette, he's like,
you smoke?
And be like, suck him down like Coca-Cola.
Yeah.
And, you know, if you want him to really think you're cool maybe just next time he comes out of his door you're just sitting in
the atrium and just have a belt around your arm and shoot up heroin and then maybe don't actually
shoot up heroin because i don't want you to you know i don't want him to get hooked yeah but uh
you're like hey guy you're like hey i uh i'm sorry i was just about to do some hair on yeah yeah or if he
asked you to be like what is that you're like it's a vaccine or you're just looking you casually go
stuff will kill me huh yeah that's it or or you can just go up to him but hey man i feel like you
felt like i judged you for smoking cigarettes and i'm really sorry for that live your life bro that
might be too intense but there is something kind of nice about just cutting to the quick yeah yeah i like that
too oh yeah yeah yeah hook is good or you know you dude you could pack a fat dap
just get some copenhagen there's some skull mint maybe lime pack a fat that maybe do a double
mouth guard to let them know you mean business
so to the point where you can't even speak you know so you got two fat dabs oh you call it dabs
yeah upper and lower deck and he's just like what's up dude and you're like oh because you
can't even speak because you have so much dap in your mouth and you're like i'm so fucking buzzed
yep probably the habit that like all the cool guys i know did that i was like this is one
of the most disgusting like when you go to someone's apartment yeah and they just have like
a glass sitting there and you're like what's in the glass and then you look and it's just like
a oil spill you're like what the no i don't drink that don't drink that that's my chew
yeah it's like oil it does it's sick i went golfing with a guy yesterday with my dad. And, you know, he's a tall guy, probably around like 60, tall but like muscular.
Love it.
Packing a fat dap and he's like, yeah, play polo.
I was like, oh, this guy's awesome.
Polo?
He plays polo.
Dude, that's a remarkable sport.
Yeah.
He's swinging mallets on a horse.
Yeah.
There's just some guys who are like, you know.
The knights. Yeah. There's just some guys who are like, where they, you know, they just,
yeah,
they're just packing fat daps,
riding horses,
swinging mallets.
And you're like,
you can do anything you want.
That's weird too.
Cause I think of polo as like an aristocracy sport.
So it's odd to me that they would do dip.
Cause that feels to me more like a,
yeah,
like a blue collar kind of habit.
Yeah.
I was like,
how'd you get into polo?
He's like,
yeah,
I hung out with these cool cowboy dudes in Carmel.
And I was like, oh, this guy's awesome.
People still play polo.
So basically he wanted to be cool like a cowboy.
Water polo is fun.
Yeah, water polo.
Or Marco polo.
Played Marco polo.
Yeah.
Great game.
Did you like being it in tag or did you like being the person chased?
It's a very obvious question.
No one likes being it yeah you don't want to be it joe is it hard to play hide and seek because you're dumb
yeah i couldn't hide
they would seek me instantly keep you hiding under the bed and like the mattress would be like
poking through the middle yeah the california king bed that your friggin strong buttress of a cock and support
sorry well I would have to pay it play like at night ghost in the graveyard then then I can
hide right right fade in interior submarine galley water leak bus in 20 000 feet
under the ocean everyone's gonna die only way to plug it get joe hard we gotta get him horny now
fellas what are we gonna do lieutenant if you do not get him horny in the next 20 seconds we
were all dead come on joe hopefully the town would be just like i can't
get hard in front of everyone nobody look who's the i've upgraded to only fans from uh jag who's
got a nice smut magazine she was really hot yeah yeah yeah she's that hot yeah dude for you to
reference jag and for you to know dude
that was a lead attractive gorgeous it's a beautiful woman yeah as a kid that show was on
yeah like as a kid i was like wow that's an attractive very that's a woman she was wearing
like a you know like a naval oh yeah outfit you know like i'm into the radical look unbelievable
dude jag i never watched it but it was like it was like a few good men right jack yeah
everyone knows i looked her up.
I was trying to be discreet.
Here we go.
Yeah, she's a lovely lady.
Yeah, yeah.
Joe, whenever you go on a boat or a cruise and they try to give you a lifeguard jacket,
do you have to let them know that you already have a flotation device?
Yeah, I have a flotation device yeah i have a card your card carrying member the nra yeah she's beautiful she's got a rifle on you
i deleted it again hold on it's okay yeah he's not all right this is from one late bloomer to
another gino o'reilly hey chad and jt first i want to thank you for all your vulnerability
on the show has really helped me become more comfortable confronting my own mental health issues and blockages in my relationships.
Speaking of which, I've been seeing this guy for a few months and he's a bit older than me. He's 29
and I'm 22 and we really care about each other, but I'm having a hard time with our sexual
relationship. See, I was what you consider a late bloomer and he is definitely not. He has never
made me feel like I don't know what I'm doing and even goes so far to reassure me that we are very
compatible in the bedroom, but I just can't help but think that I am not enough for him or that
because of my lack of experience, I'm not fulfilling his sexual needs. Any advice for
confronting these feelings as fellow late bloomers? Thank you for all you do. Much love,
Lady Stoker. Do you know what I would do? I think I would be really honest with this guy. I think I
would talk to him and say, hey, I'm having some insecurities because he's probably a chill dude.
And then you guys could work through it together.
And just opening up those lines of communication, I think will – and I think he'll appreciate that you're being honest with him.
Like I have to think that in either situation, I'd be like, hey, that's chill.
We're all good.
We can figure this out.
Yeah, but I appreciate your candor.
And then maybe – because I'm sure he's having a great time.
But I think sometimes just going
straight at the thing is is helpful yeah so she she's feeling insecure because uh
she feels more experienced yeah yeah i would just i would just tell him be honest with him and just
be like yeah you know i um i feel a little bit inexperienced i feel a little bit inexperienced. I feel a little bit nervous and insecure.
And I just need, you know, a helping hand through this stuff.
Yeah.
If I were the guy, I'd be like, oh, for sure.
Right?
Yeah.
I'd be like, thank you for telling me that.
Yeah.
And he's not even saying anything.
And he's going to feed his ego, too.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
He's like, you're just such a dynamo, I feel like, out of my league.
Like, if you hear that from a partner, you're like, oh, thank you for saying that.
Yeah.
Yeah, totally.
Well, no big deal. You know, I've just had a few good experiences yeah thanks yeah
yeah you have nothing to fear what do you guys think yeah i think that would be that would be
cool if you yeah i would like want to hear that like yeah i'll help you out with this yeah i think
that's going to engender or if he's not even saying anything, then maybe he doesn't even notice anything wrong.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I like that we all...
I assumed immediately this guy wasn't a nice guy.
Because of the age differential?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, I mean...
It wasn't too bad.
And I'm thinking she's a late bloomer, which makes me think maybe she's a virgin, is what
she's saying.
And so maybe she's not comfortable, and is this guy trying to push her in the bedroom
a little too much?
You just made this guy the biggest creep. Yeah creep that's immediately where my brain went i'm like
like all you guys assumed he was a nice guy which is like well based off her description though i
mean i do agree like but she's not she's not dating this guy she called her boyfriend or
anything like that yeah i think they are just saying i'm seeing this guy let me see because
like on my boyfriend or blah blah blah and i'm like they're not dating and i've been seeing this
guy for a few months she said but right after that she says and we really care about each other yeah that's good
okay okay and he he i've seen too much tv i'm like this guy's a fucking i don't i don't know
what i'm doing and that's what i'm thinking but she says that he he has never made me feel like
i don't know what i'm doing and even goes so far as to reassure me that we are very compatible in
the bedroom so i don't know i'm based i hear where you're coming from but based on available exactly and it's her side of it worse yeah but all i'm saying is just be aware
of that be savvy to it don't and don't let anyone do make you do anything you're not comfortable
with dude i know i'm friends with this girl and she was like i'll ask her if i can post this but
she went to see her podiatrist and then he like messaged her afterwards she's like 23 and he
messaged her afterwards and was like he was like uh hey i think you're such a ray of sunshine like
you really make the office such a better place i think you're such a wonderful person like thank
you so much for coming in i really look forward to seeing you more and i was like that's weird dude
and then she was like no he's just being nice and i was like no doctor has ever been that nice to me
to a patient yeah. To a patient?
Yeah.
She's a patient.
She's a patient.
Sounds like she works there or something.
And then, so she's like, so she was getting out of a relationship.
And then she ended up going to hang out with the podiatrist.
And then she was like, you know what? I'm out of a relationship.
I don't want to see anybody for a while.
And then the podiatrist was like, no worries.
Again, I think you're such a wonderful person.
I'm really rooting for you. And when i heard that he said he was rooting for her
i was like oh shut up dude dude i was like and i was like no this guy's a weasel i'm feeling like
yeah what a lie on this question because she's just got to be aware of it there's snakes in the
grass these things go hand in hand and they know how to operate i don't know did i've just seen
too much tv man maybe when i'm watching no you may have a point. But 29 to 22, I mean, it's...
No, no, I'm not saying
it's a big age difference or anything,
but it's like...
It is, it is, but it's not like...
No.
I wouldn't...
I've known 29-year-olds
who dated 22 years.
Yeah, that's not crazy.
What is he doing
that's so much crazier in bed
that she's not into?
Or like that she can't do?
Or maybe he's not.
It's a real thing.
Experience is a real thing.
Or maybe he's not.
Totally. Right? Okay, that's something else. He might have a mental block. It might be something like that. can't do or maybe it's a real thing experience is a real thing or maybe he's not totally
right okay that's something else he might have a mental block it might be something like that
why are we putting on him i that's what i'm saying i know i'm coming at this thing i'm putting too
much on this guy and i don't know why it's weird i get it though you're looking out for it yeah
yeah yeah i'm just saying be careful yes maybe either be honest with him or if he's a douche say sayonara yeah but he sounds like
a good guy yeah he's yeah he sounds he sounds like a good guy we're on the fence yeah i mean
i immediately i look i think you gotta call the cops i think you gotta set up a sting operation
on this pedophile and i think we gotta put him in the ground here's what i'm gonna do i'm gonna
call the fucking lords is this guy a dad? And we're going to beat his fucking ass.
Say he's a dad.
Take him to Orange County.
We're going to fucking jump him outside of a pavilion.
I need you to run.
I need you to get your stuff.
I need you to change your name.
I need you.
Have you seen Jennifer Lopez in enough?
I need you to get out of there.
That's what you're doing.
That's a good movie.
That's a really good movie.
Except she learns how to fight in like a week.
Oh yeah.
The training's cool
but like
eyes
the eye poke
with the lemon
yeah
I always remember that
and it shows he's a coward
he will kick you
when you are down
on the ground
and then he does
go to do that
yeah
that is a good movie
that is a good movie
J.Lo's
self defense
I've never had
I feel like I would love
martial arts but I've just never...
You'd be really good at it.
You think so?
Yeah, you're disciplined.
Yeah, you seem like you'd be a karate guy.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, thanks.
Is that like a low-key insult?
No, I think you just like would look good in the white role.
Oh, dude, thank you, Joe.
The gi.
Yeah, the gi.
Thanks, Joe. I love you thanks joe i love you thanks i love you
chad you ready for the next part yeah sorry that was beautiful um who's your legend of the week dog
um my legend of the week is the so i i drove from northern california this morning
to la and i took the 99 uh so my legend of the week is the central california valley because
dude it was so beautiful and just i went i went to like lodi to stockton uh which like aren't
don't have the greatest reputation but like the fields, like the farms and all that stuff, you know,
I saw like the helo tangerines and all that stuff.
It was like, it was amazing.
It was sort of like what the characters in Grapes of Wrath are picturing,
you know, California is like.
That's what it looked like today driving down.
I was like, this is incredible.
And I was just like, so I was just driving down just, like this is incredible and i was just like so i like i was
just driving down just you know what does that go through what's the city i went through like
stockton lodi that was like farther up north and i don't even i don't even really know
i didn't go through bakersfield but oh so it's like in the middle of the middle of california
middle of the state and then you go to the grapevine to la oh all right um but it was like
i felt like i was on a ride soaring over california like it was just so like picturesque and and just
kind of like peaceful and it was it i drove early this morning so like the sun was coming up
and it was just like i was like man this state is um it's beautiful yeah it really is yeah it
was pretty incredible and i was just like i think as an older dude I'm not that old but you
know yeah but as you mature you just have more of an appreciation for like
the earth and nature and yeah totally and all that shit isn't it funny when
you're like nine and you see that stuff and everyone's like look at those
mountains and you're kind of like yeah yeah yeah I see a city but then something
clicks in your brain when you get older you're like yeah it's beautiful what have
you heard a nine year old do that though those mountains yeah yeah amazing just look at those things you can appreciate that
dad shut up real quick turn on the radio yeah the white cap on those mountains dude how do you
apologize if you get a gang to beat up your dad like what do you how do you apologize to your dad
you're like dad sorry i threw that party and sorry Donovan and his buddies beat the shit out of you. Dad's like got a mangled face.
He's like, it's okay, son.
Shit happens.
Mangled face.
His eyes are all pumped up.
You can't see.
He's got like a face cast on.
Who were those guys?
He's like, dad, you don't think this is going to affect the practice, right?
Like people won't be weird when you're doing their dentistry on them.
You hear Mr. Roberts got his ass kicked by a bunch of 16-year-olds? be weird when you're doing their dentistry on him you're mr. he mr.
Roberts guys asked him about your 16 year old dr. Kramer got his ass handed
to me some kid had him with some kid with around comes in on crutches yeah
he spray-painted his passed out body I got beat up by a rabbit 13 years old
the juice some steroid junkies are kids are kids on juice. Honey. OC 13.
Honey.
Oh, my God.
Dude, there was a kid nicknamed Juice because he came to high school as a freshman.
He was like, I'm on steroids.
Call me Juice.
Oh, my God.
And I guess one time a teacher, I think he ended up murdering someone.
But I guess a teacher got mad at him in class and he went, oh, really, Mrs. Pennecrab?
And he dropped down and just started doing push-ups.
She was just telling him the Pythagorean theorem.
It is not C squared.
Dude, I messed up too.
We jumped into the legend.
I'm sorry.
Oh, we forgot beef.
Yeah, do you want to do your beef?
Do you want me to do beef?
Yeah, can you do that?
My beef of the week, I mean, this relates.
This kid, Aria, who lied in sixth grade about the fact
that his jizz could fly 10 feet whoa and you know this was like a tender moment for me
because i wasn't jizzing yet i think it was like fifth sixth grade you know it was like you
pubes are like i was getting inklings of pubes but i was a late bloomer in that regard
this kid aria just like waltzes in and he's like yeah i can just 10 feet and as a young growing man that just like you just like oh i'm
so far behind i can't even jizz yet you know so my beef is with him for obviously lying
you don't think he could do that no launch 10 feet i think so you think so yes everyone has
what you have 10 feet it's only like a free throw do you see that kid from lsu when the high jump
and the long jump the long i was thinking about how far you could just load made me think about
the long jump yeah i mean i guess 10 feet you're right 10 feet's far dude do you know how fast
jizz shoots out of your pipe at 30 yeah 28 yeah did you tell me that no that's because i always
thought it was 28 yeah 28 miles an hour how do they do they use a gun they just change the ratio
like you just they got a pitcher's gun out there like like brendan fraser and the scout
it's an old guy smoking his kids got heat that's a weird movie i never saw with albert brooks
no i never saw the scale i was thinking of the ref with de niro we'll do a patreon episode we'll
talk about it no no that's a rat no the refs with dennis leary no but that's uh that's the fan
fan that's a weird that's a weird one dude dude. The fan. Yeah, the ref.
He sells knives, dude.
You can't trust a knife salesman.
No, no, no, no, no.
It's Nicko.
Who's your beef of the week?
Shit, dude.
My beef of the week?
I've had a pretty good week, dude.
So, I mean, I'm pretty much just basically chilling, dude.
So, what's pissed me off dude maybe my beef of the week is just um
my body my beef of the week dude it's probably just my my neck dude from lifting 45s dude and
i'm stoked to be getting after it lifting heavy like that dude but honestly i'm like dude my neck
keep up with the rest of my body you know like what's the deal do i gotta do like neck
exercises dude it's pissing me off dude i feel you it's pissing me off dude there's nothing worth
worse than neck yeah you're like what are you doing dude what is the neck why do we still have
such vulnerable bullshit ass connectors of our spines to our heads mr toomey my freshman year
health teacher told me it's because we were never supposed to walk upright we weren't
supposed to be bipeds we're supposed to be moving on all fours yeah so like the
curvature of our spine it's like evolved but yeah if you look at it like you can
see like the vestial parts that we were supposed to move in another way like a
tailbone do you think eventually it's just like the neck was sort of chode out
so we it's it's safer.
I wish it could be another trap.
Like you have a trap there, like, you know, Goldberg, the wrestler.
Right.
You'd just be more jacked.
Sometimes in dreams, I think I'm on all fours moving around.
You ever have that?
No.
That sounds demonic.
All right, nevermind.
I could see that for you. Yeah, I don't either.
Do you think that's your primal self saying that it needs to live a little bit more?
I don't know.
I'm trying to think if I'm like on a scooter maybe or if i'm yeah i think i'm riding something you have wheels on your hands
and feet i don't know like an atv you're atving this is a good dream do you ever want someone
yeah it's not weird that's just how i'm moving around i'm just like you know robert crumb the
cartoonist he didn't like regular sex he liked when his girlfriend wrote wrote around on his back apartment or he wrote around on her back okay so what if this
guy is asking the girl to do something like that gina yeah i'm messing around and she's like i'm
not quite as experienced as he is but he's just like doing like something weird weird bizarre
often he's like look i like to put on robes my buddies show up they chant they do incantations while we make love what's going on come on
dude good movie good they don't really make those anymore like movies about like sadomasochistic
relationships that was like a big genre for a while we should bring it back yeah it should
i missed those pervy movies they kind of made me they opened up my boundaries a little bit
Yeah, shit, I've missed those Purvy movies.
They opened up my boundaries a little bit.
Secretary.
The Piano Teacher.
That's like a really dark one. Postman Always Rings Twice.
Dude.
Dude.
That's a movie, dude.
Well, Jessica Lange.
She's awesome.
Joe, who's your B for the week?
It's this guy named, his name is,
I keep messing his name.
Or yeah, it's Jesus Camargo Corrales.
He's a guy, he's a 25-year-old Cubs minor league prospect.
He was caught with 21 pounds of meth.
And he used a, it was in a Cubs duffel bag, which, you know, it's like use your own shit if you're going to be moved.
Don't do that to the Cubs where you're going to use their logo and move your meth.
You know, move your meth in your own luggage.
You know, don't denigrate the Cubs like that.
Should all drugs be legal, though?
I don't know.
I don't even know what meth does.
Meth I don't think has any redeeming qualities.
Yeah.
It doesn't redeem anything.
Like shrooms and weed.
Even though it's weed, I was talking to this as like some people who have done shrooms regularly, and I'm square.
But like freaking are saying like weed will mess them up more than shrooms sometimes.
Like it's so potent.
But I'm like if it's natural, but i'm like if it's natural then i'm down if it's legal but like meth is like you got to get like a friggin almost like blow up your house making it like i'm just
picturing crystal meth it's like all weird chemicals yeah it just doesn't sound process
too much going on yeah i mean you get a lot of errands done. While on it? Yeah.
True.
You done meth?
No.
But you speed, you get some errands done.
Speed, a version of meth?
Yeah.
I've accidentally done that, I think.
Crank.
It was weird.
It was a weird morning.
You did it in the morning?
Crank, yeah. Well, I did at night, but I was kind of like out of my mind until I hit my bed in the morning yeah well i did at night but i was kind of like out of my mind and so
in my bed in the morning just like and not fun yeah we didn't we can cut but didn't you say
your bros had to like tie you down or something like that was on shrooms oh okay oh yeah what
were you doing when they tied you down um well i thought my brother was trying to kill me and then i just i like i come out of like
a blackout which is like misery yeah with my dong out for some reason just like dude i was like
i was on another dimension i thought my brother like you look like bart simpson
and my dong was out for some reason.
And we've never spoken about it since.
And he, like, tied me up in the chair because I was, like, throwing shit.
And he's, like, and I just remember just being in a chair.
And then I, like, woke up, and we haven't spoken about it since.
That's awesome.
But, yeah, I remember he was trying to, big takeaways big takeaways my brother i was convinced he's trying to kill me he looked like bart simpson
and at some point i pulled my cock out
that's what bad tripping shrooms yeah so don't do shrooms guys it's a good cautionary tale or
don't do too many don't do you know oregon blue caps
and eyeball it with your friend sean eyeball and oregon blue oregon blue caps yeah those sound
yeah those will get you it sounds like yeah he's like dude it's oregon blue caps i was like okay
sweet i'm like how much is nate he's eat all of that. And then my brother comes home.
The reason I freaked out is because my brother came out.
I wasn't expecting him to come home.
And, you know, like, shrimps take, you know, like, 45 minutes to kick in.
But these took, yeah, after, like, 10, 15 minutes, I was like,
because we were going to drive to Chipotle, get Chipotle.
And I started driving.
I was, like, backed right back into the parking spot.
I was like, oh, crap. parking spot I was like oh crap like mama yeah like I and then and then I was just like in a corner and he's like what's
going on and then blackout wake up tied to a chair wow yeah it's a wolf of wall street
yeah it was pretty gnarly I wonder if it changed my brain chemistry
maybe I almost feel like it I mean I have no idea but I feel like it changed my brain chemistry. Maybe. I almost feel like it, I mean, I have no idea,
but I feel like it probably just opened up a side of yourself
that needed to come out.
Probably, yeah.
And then you got that energy out.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think that's one way to look at it.
But Louis C.K. on Howard Stern, he said he did a lot of acid.
I mean, he said he did a lot,
but he did a lot of acid when he was in eighth grade,
and he was like, no, I think it messed up my brain permanently.
Really?
I mean, it depends on your brain chemistry, right you know they tell they say people like mental health stuff
that when they do psychedelics it can kick that it can kick up that other stuff oh really
then some people say it like saves their life it's hard to know yeah i can't tell maybe i was more
outgoing after i don't know it's like crypto it's too volatile dude that's so funny you say because
i bought shrooms a couple weeks ago and the guy pulled up and i actually knew him i got his number
three somebody else i was like oh what's up and then we started talking i was like what are you
up to he's like i'm moving to oregon i'm gonna start drilling for ethereum i was like so you've
been doing a lot of these huh yeah is that a drug yeah no ethereum it's like uh it's like bitcoin
oh how do you drill for it on like the internet
or it's not drill what's the phrase that he's mining sorry yeah drilling is uh it's when you're
it's when you're in your favorite room in your house when your fiance is out on a run
he was drilling to ethereum is what he said he was i drill to elysium very nice um my beef of the week is with the
is with the people who think if you change your mind a lot you're indecisive
but i think you can actually be decisively indecisive and the root of this isn't even
like a big life thing but i like watching tv on and this is gonna be my babe of the week but i
like watching tv on um on cable because i like to switch around from like movie to movie i'm like oh watch the color
of money for 10 minutes okay and then i'll watch top gun and i'll just dip in and out i don't like
to i don't like watching on streaming things i don't like to commit to the same thing for
it's it's too much pressure on the choice and then someone's like oh because you're indecisive
and i was like no no i'm i'm decisively indecisive i like to switch around i like getting multiple streams of different uh movies or different entertainment it's it
makes my brain feel better so that's my dream yeah i find that with like um you know current
events or something people like what's your take on it and i'm like i need a few days to really figure it out because a lot of times i'm like i see both you know if whether you know no matter what
if it's you know uh what's a good example if it's megan markle yeah if it's megan markle it's like
i need time to really assess people were pissed pissed about our Meghan Markle take. Yeah.
They were like, you guys were way fucked.
They didn't specify why we were off base, but they were like, you should let me call into the pod and tell you why you guys fucked up the Meghan Markle thing.
I was like, did we even say anything?
Yeah.
I was like, we almost had, like, we were just like, you know, I feel bad for her, but I
feel like there's people you could feel worse for.
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
That's funny.
But no, I hear you know. That's funny.
But no, I hear you.
Sometimes it's like people like to put a false urgency on it.
They're like, you need to have a take on this now.
Yeah.
Maybe it's not like a, I don't know.
Like, but I agree with you.
That's just like, I changed my mind a lot on things.
If the facts change, so does my opinion.
What about you, sir?
Yeah.
I think Winston Churchill said that. Yeah.
Am I making sense? Yeah. I think Winston Churchill said that. Yeah. Am I making sense?
Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
We're all staring at you, though.
It's a lot of, yeah, it's a lot of pressure.
I don't know.
It's true.
I'm indecisive about what I was saying.
Interesting.
Well, are you decisive about who your babe of the week is?
Yeah, very decisive on this one.
It's my dad.
What up, dad? Babe. My dad's just a man. I spent one it's my dad what up dad babe um my dad's just a man i spent the
weekend with my dad he's awesome uh smartest guy i know he's just uh he's a hand surgeon very
capable i i got a splinter in my finger over the weekend and i was like there's no better person
to do this around than you because i was like i was like you know what no better person to do this around than you. Because I was like, you know what?
It's time to put you to the test.
Take this splinter out.
And he got his glasses on and he just dug it out.
It was awesome.
That's so nice.
Yeah.
Where was it in your finger?
Just my pointer finger, like on the tip.
Did you guys make eye contact?
I can get those on my own.
No, he's very.
Focused.
He's very focused.
And I'm like, you're a good surgeon.
He's like, I know. He's very like,'s very focused and i'm like you're a good surgeon he's like i know
he's very like he just he loves his work um but he's just the best like super sweet
hard super hard worker just like but very just caring and loves his family and
um doesn't have time for nonsense you know know, do you watch TV? Why would I watch TV?
What did he say?
You showed him Nomadland, right?
You were trying to put-
Oh yeah, we watched Nomadland.
And I'm like, what'd you think of Nomadland?
He's like, it's an Oscar movie.
It's sad.
I don't know, he's just the best.
So he's my babe.
Love you, dad.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Big ups to Mr. Kroger, Dr. Kroger dr kroger the dog strides who's your
uh babe of the week babe of the week's gotta be my freaking dang fiance dude um nice dude
she's just freaking being a beast dude just beasting through grad school dude beasting
through work dude just freaking beasting through fun new recipes together dude just
straight up walking our dog like a beast dude and just
freaking chilling dude so just gotta be a freaking my baby of the week's just got to be honestly my
straight up beast of the week dude my freaking dank be a freaking dank fiance dude sorry i'm
still adjusting to not saying gf dude i have in our apartment we have an area where um we walk
out of like our little bedroom then through a door past the kitchen. And that's where I tax my fiance with a smooch.
Like a troll.
I say, you got to pay the toll.
And it's a smooch.
And I would always say,
this is where my GF gets taxed.
And I still say it
because I'm so used to saying it.
And she goes, no, it's not.
I'm not your girlfriend.
Your girlfriend's lost in the desert.
And I go, you're right.
Left her out there.
Oh, that's how you describe the proposal out at Joshuaoshua tree yeah i go lost my g lost my gf
somewhere out in the desert don't care though found my fiancee maybe you go out there on
weekends you have an affair oh say oh hey look who i found out here in the rocks next i know
exactly where to find her arch rock 150 150 yards west of that heart-shaped rock let's go how
you gonna smooch after you say i do oh probably just like yeah you gotta go tongue just tongue
dart kidding dude for the viewers that has to be the viewers at home that was a harsh tongue dart
that might be involved later in the evening but you know i always think back to the movie uh
wedding singer you know it's church kiss it's got to be church you know what do you do i'm just
gonna feel in the moment and probably look not cool doing it like i did with the proposal i'm
just gonna be like and you know maybe we'll have some fun practicing it dude maybe i'll just be
like we should practice maybe that's gonna be my big thing of the wedding planning have fun be like
we can still gotta practice our smooch maybe every venue dude i gotta go hold on maybe make the person watch that showing us make them
a little bit uncomfortable i like to do that now oh so you know who's the person who officiates you
they gotta watch you make out oh that's a good call and how do they react yep and they go all
right is this work is this work okay they're like nice yeah well whoever that dude was
that said I smack my lips too much
dude you wanna know what the kiss is gonna sound like
motherfucker dude
he like leaves comments where he's like
you guys why don't you just chomp into the mic for two hours
he's savage
he's pissed
when I ate a sweet potato into the mic
dude
I got
got my ass beat it's just comment after comment
way to eat into the mic you fucking asshole it was tough with the zooms because you're at home
you know what i mean i didn't i didn't realize i can't yeah you can't hear yourself i haven't
even listened back to it so it's probably horrendous because people are just but uh but
i was thinking you know spice things up when she has to pay the toll.
You should do different characters.
And the next one, greaser, leather jacket, shades, sig, unlit, just to be cool.
Oh, yeah.
And just like, you got to pay the toll.
I love that.
And then you'll probably get tongue action after that.
That's a freaking fire call.
I'm going to probably do that first thing in the morning.
Surprise her.
Get up a little bit earlier.
Be like, oh, hey, I got to go.
Yeah.
Cruising out golf.
Golf.
We can wear a leather jacket to golf.
Don't worry about it.
We should say Strider is the most popular human being on the planet.
Like, you're just beloved by all.
And I don't think he'll mind me
since but the guy who runs the podcast company mike bertolino legend that's my bro what's up dude
we all went golfing with him but now you you're kind of like his golfing mate now right look i've
been honored to join a group i wouldn't say i wouldn't go as far as to say i'm his golfing
he plays with but if he needs a guy if he needs a guy, if he needs a guy,
you're top of the list.
I'm in the Rolodex.
I'm in the Rolodex there.
And when we had our other job
where we all worked together
at the office,
I think you were the only one
who got invited
to the Super Bowl party
that the producer was having.
Oh, nice.
It was great, dude.
You got an invite?
Dude, I got an invite.
It was amazing.
Did you guys not get invited?
I don't think I was invited.
Did you get invited
to the Super Bowl party?
I don't remember. I think I was near you when she invited you and then she was like oh and jt you
can cruise too if you want i was like yeah maybe i'll cruise yeah the thing is we do superbowl
our boy joe's right there's no way we're not doing superbowl and i was like thank you so much
but i'm a yes man that's part of it i'm too much of a yes no don't make me come on come on and i
go yeah maybe i'll show up like at halftime there's no way i think i don't know i think if people are going
on a trip and they're like hey we need to bring someone on the trip they want to bring you yeah
i appreciate that dude a boy's trip invite is is huge it's very telling and if i get invited on a
new group of bros like a boy's trip that's huge but then again it's like i don't know you know
what it is we kind of talked about this when we
first moved to la because we have a good group of high school buddies you know and like in our
freaking crew right here the freaking chill on red of stoke over here dude and no court court or
quintuple of stuff that's oh yeah the quintuple of soak dude it's true freaking um but we weren't
like because it was weird when a dude would try to make friends with us.
I'd be like, what's going on with you?
Like, what do you don't have your boys already?
And this one I was younger, but I was like, not everyone has their squad yet, you know?
So it was strange, but I think not.
It's almost like when guys, when girls, guys get a girlfriend, they're like, man, girls can sense I've got a girlfriend now.
And like, they're coming up and talk to me now, but because you're not putting out that any desperate energy subconsciously or consciously same i think goes with bros i've got a good squad
i think you know when mike wants to golf i'm like yeah dude i was gonna play maybe over at rustic
but you want to do oh you want to do to your hair on sunday yeah i'm down i'll remember rustic let's
go he's fired up dude you know he's playing we're playing it's just it's natural i think that modest
and humble uh reasoning is part
of the reason you're such a well i'm the welcome addition and then once i'm there i will take over
and once i have taken over everyone will suck the tip of my dick
i think they all know it's happening everyone's honored to be on that trajectory just run a new platform
what up
Joe who's your baby of the week
I could say Catherine Bell
or were you going to say the person
that built this studio or no
she was going to be my legend of the week
then I'll say Catherine Bell
is my baby of the week
she's probably the hottest woman
I've ever seen on screen.
Now that I've been thinking about it the last 15 minutes or so.
Saw a lot of her pictures and, you know, she had a body-oddy.
You know, it was, yeah.
And she was just beautiful like like striders are over here said and
yeah it was like wow magical what's body yadi it's just from a song megan the stallion body yadi
body yadi body yadi yadi yadi yadi yadi does it mean good body i think so right yeah like a
banging body or something like a fit fan
uh my baby of the week is is watching tv the old-fashioned way on cable and switching between
channels i think it's i think it's the ideal way to watch to watch stuff that might just be
nostalgia but i really do think it's a i don't know i like that yeah who wants to watch a whole
movie for two hours you kind of get the gist in increments anyway.
So I'd rather bop around and watch The Bone Collector
and then switch to Miami Vice
and then maybe dance over to SportsCenter
and then just kind of rotate.
I'll check into a hotel hour at a time.
Not to spend time with a lady in the industry,
but to just watch TV the old-fashioned way.
Which industry? Sex industry. Usually you'd get a hotel for an hour or two for a prostitute. with a lady in the industry but to just watch tv the old-fashioned way which industry sex industry
usually you'd get a hotel for an hour or two uh for a prostitute dude when i hadn't lost my
virginity i tried to lose it to a prostitute at a hotel i got a hotel and uh the girl cancelled
and was like hey i'm sending my friend instead so it wasn't like the girl i had even picked
And I was like, hey, I'm sending my friend instead.
So it wasn't like the girl I had even picked.
And then she showed up and I was just getting hammered at the hotel bar.
I did like six little mini drinks.
And she came in and she's like, God, it smells in here.
Because I just was sweating up from, I think, nervousness.
And the first thing she did when she came in, she checked the closet to make sure I didn't have a friend in there.
And I was like, man, this is a scary gig.
And then we made out.
It was a pretty sloppy kiss, if I'm being being honest i don't think she was that into me and then we tried to have sex and i
couldn't get hard i was like too nervous and probably masturbating too much at the time
and then she was like so what do you want to do and i was like i don't know i felt kind of bad
then she's like i can peg you nice and then i was like i don't think i'm you know i'm a white belt
right now i'm not trying to yeah i'm not that feels like a 10 years in kind of thing to my sexual career
and then i was like no here's all your money you can head out and then i took an uber to
whole foods and just got to tune them out dude yeah you don't want to get fucked before you
fuck yeah or if you do you do but for me it was just like, you know, I'm traditionalist and, you know, kind of raised in a conventional sexual trajectory.
Yeah, your goal was to figure out how this thing fits over into that thing, not how that thing's going to go into the other thing.
Right.
I was like, I need to, you know, my parents expect me to take this route and I feel like I got to do right by them.
Yeah.
Yeah, her name was Midnight. I don't even know if that was a real name midnight lee one time i was at a strip club
and uh strippers give me a lap dance i'll sit back cool as fuck what up and actually i wasn't
i was like this is like oh and uh and i was like cool what's your what's your name like thinking
i was supposed to ask him she's like ginger and then i was like but maybe i was like, cool. What's your name? I think I was supposed to ask him. She's like, Ginger.
And then I was like, maybe I was like too nervous.
And then I was like, cool.
What's your middle name?
Like thinking I was being clever.
What's your middle name?
I have no idea why I'm thinking that.
And then she goes, Lee.
And then takes my hand and like makes it go easier.
And I was like, whoa.
That's a common mistake. I remember when i was 17 we had dancers
come over to ross's house one time like half of us had braces and the stripper uh the dancer uh
security guy first he comes out he goes all right fellas everybody get calm sit down the girls are
getting ready they're gonna come out they're gonna put on an amazing show first off i will not be
checking for ids we're all men here we all know what we want we all know the rules we're like
nice nice because secondly i will not be playing rap music because in rap music african-american
people refer to themselves as the n-word and i think that is disrespectful to themselves
so we will only be playing like poison and van halen and we were like okay dude
what we're like dude you're like dumb sociological perspective is not needed bro
let's just uh we wouldn't even have noticed yeah influence a group of young minds whose
ideas i am not checking in about the poison right now let me just go ahead no other adult
will listen to me talk about these things so you 16 year olds are in for one yeah um chad who's your oh we did your legend of the
week yeah central california valley oh fuck yeah strider he's your legend of the week
dude my legend of the week has got to be um this is a free endorsement here but dude um m bark vet and my beef of the week was a little bit bad earlier
um so this ties into my beef a little bit but m bark you get a dna test and so we found out what
sonny is because he's a little rescue what up and it just says terrier turns out he is zero percent
terrier dude really i don't 0% terrier, dude.
Really?
I don't know if terrier like means like a bunch of dogs or like some dogs are retrievers.
But like, bro, he's part German Shepherd, Chihuahua, Poodle, Shih Tzu.
Something called like a Sao Po or something like that.
So, yeah, bro.
And then 14% like super mutt, which just means an amalgamation of everything.
And maybe of that 14%,
maybe a little terrier in there.
Yeah.
But these places,
they got no idea.
All I know is it's a hundred percent cute.
So Sonny's my little legend,
dude,
no matter who he is,
he's perfect,
dude.
It doesn't matter who you are,
do what your DNA is,
dude.
Just make good fricking choices and be a straight up chiller.
Like Sonny,
he makes good choices listening and sitting,
dude.
And then my beef would just be,
you know
people telling your dog that it's a terrier and it's not you talked to sonny like dude i thought
you were terrier he's like nah dog yeah he knew everything yeah he's everything but i'm kind of
upset that chihuahua i'm not a big chihuahua guy yeah and shih tzu because that's schmoll's dog
yeah dude right he's mainly shih he's like 21 percent she too oh
do you think if he met garf he would poke him sunny's very garf is the schmoll's dog
i believe maybe the schmoll's dog has unchill energy because i believe that the
dog reflects the owner's energy like that's why pitbulls get a bad rap you know dudes who want
to fight and be chill have pitbulls you know and then their dogs can kind of be dicks um but uh no sunny would be chill let me
tell you if there's beef it wouldn't be sunny sunny can go up to any dog he just wants to play
but he's not gonna get humped if he gets humped by another dog he's gonna hump back so he's
friendly to the schmoles he'll be friendly Nice. Joe, who's your legend of the week?
Mine
is Luca Garza. He's
the center for the University of Iowa
Hawkeyes basketball team.
Back-to-back Big Ten player of the year.
Finished his career
today with 36 points in a
losing effort.
If there's a way
to go out, that's the way to do it i mean he was uh he was
amazing as he usually is and i think he's gonna do great at the next level uh he's got great footwork
and you were talking about shack before i think he has he has the low post moves like shack and
i think he could do well in the nba power drop step yeah how big is he 611 yeah
handsome dude he looks like Clark Kent well yeah maybe him speaking of which Justice League
you watch the Snyder Cut almost I'll sleep three times everyone's false did you watch it Eric
how old is how long is it four hours it's four hours four hours are you nuts
it's four hours that's why okay because everyone was like i'm like it was everyone i talked to was
watching it over multiple nights yeah it's in parts which is good like it goes part there's
four parts but like yeah everyone's kind of a bad actor in that movie we were talking about this dude
it's so true henry cavill like he's just a super hot jack dude gal gadot super hot very charismatic
but not a great actress like the first wonder woman was like perfect for her they like showcase
like all of her like yeah they just really put her in a position to succeed yeah and the flash
is actually a good actor i like that guy the guy from perks of being a wall yeah ezra miller yeah
but they don't give him anything to do he just has like he's just the guy who's like the wonder and yeah my legend of the week is uh julie julie's a good friend all
of us and julie uh designed the podcast studio and she did such a good job and she got it done
in like a week it was incredible she got this like wood like wall up in like a day she's like
do you want a wood wall? I was like, yeah.
And then I came home that night.
It was up.
I don't know how she did it.
It's incredible.
Yeah.
It's pretty amazing.
And she, she made such good choices with everything.
I think it really fits our, our Stoke aesthetic.
And then, but she also classed it up, which I appreciate.
Yeah.
It's a, it's a podcast today that we can grow old and immature in.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
So Julie, you're an awesome friend and you're a wonderful designer so thank you for everything thank you julie what up what up
chad what's your quote of the week oh shit uh my quote of the week
it's gonna come from the movie torque
starring martin henderson in ice cube starring Martin Henderson in Ice Cube.
Shane, his love interest, goes,
what is it with you, Ford?
Everywhere you go, everything turns to hell.
Ford, in his cool, calm demeanor, goes,
it's a talent I have.
That's awesome.
Good movie.
Fast and the Furious on motorcycles.
Great movie.
Strider, what's your quote of the week?
If you're lost, you can look and you will find me.
Time after time.
If you fall, I will catch you.
I will be waiting.
Time after time. Great freaking song song dude just this came on the radio
today dude i was just bumping it do a little cindy lopper time after time i was like dude
what a jam she's a powerhouse what a just stoked just got me immediately stoked i was in traffic
we're back baby jt we were saying it earlier la's's back. LA's back. LA's back. I was at the park yesterday.
I was like, it's booming.
Everyone is everywhere.
Everyone's everywhere.
You can't find parking.
It's unreal.
I say unreal to myself out loud at least 10 times a day.
That's how I know LA's back.
It's back, baby.
And I needed that stoke from Cyndi Lauper just sitting, not moving for an hour in traffic.
Just, let's go.
Joe, who's your
sorry what's your quote of the week uh i got a quote from uh ernest hemingway that's pretty cool
beast um he says uh always do sober what you said you do drunk this that will teach you to
keep your mouth shut nice nice earnest yeah well done this is a steve jobs quote from his book dude the book
is amazing it's incredible i mean he's like an adopted kid he's like smarter than his parents
at seven so he just bullies them into doing whatever he wants like he's like i want to go
to a fancier high school that costs more money and his parents are like no we don't think that's
a good idea he's like these are all the reasons it is now you're gonna do it and then they do it
it's like he's like an incredible like social engineer um but he said it's better to be a pirate
than to join the navy and i think that's true unless you're joining the actual navy which i
think is a awesome thing to do and we appreciate your service but i think what he meant was more
of like it's better to be like a little bit even if you're at a place that's like a regular business
or conventional place it's always good to think of yourself as a little bit like insurgent i think pirates are sick too
yeah they look out for each other and they gotta they gotta live by their wits yeah and they don't
fall into conventional dogma you know what i mean they're living outside the lines a little bit
but don't actually like you know maraud and shit like that exactly yeah yeah and they got tan too
so tan i mean there are few things more inspiring than
giant depth's tan in parts of the caribbean one true i mean it's
it's unbelievable what do you think johnny would be like to talk to you for a couple hours
giant up yeah tough one on one i think he'd be like yeah i think um
um what would we talk about probably talk about like guitars
chocolate that's what i assume what do you guys think you talk about off menu items at a restaurant
right i don't know i think we talk about like authors but i think he would like get the books
all wrong that they wrote and like misquote them a lot and i just nod and be like yeah man yeah
yeah totally you talk about art and he'd be like yeah i like picas I just nod and be like yeah man yeah yeah totally you
talk about art and they'd be like yeah like Picasso yeah for sure I'll talking
about the movie nick of time it's a fucking tie that dude I want to watch
that I was just thinking about the most I rented it that's a great movie it's a
great ass movie great movie great premise we're gonna kill your kid unless
you kill this senator and it's like you know and it all happens
fast and it's all like what is it ephemeral time yeah it's all in the nick of time it's great dude
smart movie dude just so funny i was thinking about that movie i rewatched it during quarantine
i was like i want to watch this i'm gonna watch that tonight you know what i originally watched
that on i think laser disc dude nice oh yeah i got it on laser disc you know what i'd ask him i'd be like hey did you ever have like a
desire to just not finish the second half of blow just like you're filming up until his
peak you know and maybe you said to the director like dude i think it's
i think it's good right there let him get out on top yeah i think the movie's so true hour in
let's cap it right there and there's a couple drug dealers who probably did get out at the right time and didn't suffer the sad downfall they just went like legit with their
businesses yeah but we never tell that story no i would love that movie right just a guy who's just
this is a drug dealer who has the best life ever nothing bad and is pretty responsible with his
choices and understands when yeah the risk has exceeded what he needs. He's like, all right, I guess I'm out. And then the rest of the movie is him just on blow having sex.
Nice.
I remember when Blow and Traffic came out at the same time.
And I didn't see either, but my parents were like,
Blow is better.
Because my parents like to party.
So they were like, Traffic's all right.
Blow's good.
Chad, what's your favorite when you're getting after it um
dude i think we can stop below at this point nice whoa very true
strider what's your face that we're getting after it my fears the week for getting after it is
clutched it and that's a reference to playing
Call of Duty when you get the dub dude
what
really
just clutched that dub dude
clutched it dude
Joe what's your face
I don't know these are so hard
um
spring is here let's uh
let's uh
let's find me a deer i don't know amazing
that was like a that was dead poet society when he's like a shaggy tooth like a
stranger like a deer like a nice woman is what I mean, not a dead animal.
Nice.
I don't know.
My phrase of the week for getting after it is inspired by Johnny Depp.
I just watched Donnie Brasco the other night, or parts of it, because I was doing it the
cable style way.
And then forget about it.
It can mean anything.
Yeah.
Like if you think Buick's better than a Cadillac, forget about it.
Forget about it.
Is that Ray Liotta saying that?
Who's doing that scene?
Johnny Depp.
Johnny Depp's telling him that?
Dude, it's Johnny Depp, Paul Giamatti, and like Tim Blake Nelson.
You know, the kind of buck-toothed dude from O'Connor.
Oh, yeah.
The guy who starred.
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And Buster Scruggs.
So it's like you're watching it.
These are like three amazing actors.
Dude, yeah.
Forget about it. Forget about it.
Forget about it.
Aaron, do you want to put a capstone on all this?
You're a soldier.
Dude, Aaron is standing, guys, because the bench was uncomfortable.
He's been here for like four hours setting this place up.
Dude, you're the legend of the week.
Yeah, Aaron is the legend of the week.
You drove to Hollywood.
When's the last time you've been in Hollywood, you said?
A year.
Hasn't been in Hollywood in a year.
It's on the other side of the hill.
That should give you an understanding of LA.
You're a fucking soldier, dude.
We'll cover the parking ticket.
Yeah, we'll cover it.
Yeah.
Yeah, you guys got it.
Thanks, Aaron.
Thanks, Aaron.
Peace, Aaron.
Dudes, that's it.
All right.
This was fun.
The new studio broken in.
Yeah, broken in.
The new digs, dude.
What up?
We should do another hour.
Sweet.
Stokers,
check out
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which is always good stuff.
Thank you guys for coming on.
Thank you, Aaron.
Chippo. Chippo. always good stuff and uh thank you guys for coming on and uh thank you aaron if you need advice these guys are really nice you wanna know what to do where to go
when you need someone to guard you
Just a half a throw beside you
Go and see
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