Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 180 - Seaspiracy (we didn't watch it), Vaccine, Following dudes on Onlyfans
Episode Date: April 1, 2021What's up stokers! Its just Chad and me in the studio today. We talk about getting vaccinated, if there is anyway to live an ethical life, and sexuality. Sign up for new merch here: http:...//www.shopcgd.com​​​​​​​ Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion
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Are you rolling?
We rolling.
We riding.
We love to go.
Bake the beans and then tell me to show you.
Sometimes I get into that. Yeah, I know. I know. I know i know hold on let me get into it baby because sometimes i get into i'm like i'm like that doesn't sound right
but you know i just gotta roll with it i can't i can't let those there is no i can't i can't
block it i need to be full flow so all right here we go
so all right here we go
are you asleep no i'm thinking yeah let's open the can and wet my nipples what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the gun team with chad jt podcast
guys before we begin i remind you once again oh fuck i forgot to figure out the ads um who are we sponsored by this week for sure manscaped
for sure we're i would bet my nipples on it we are of course brought to you by the legends
manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dongs are looking fresh and clean because
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Let's start the show.
I'm with my compadre, Jean-Thomas.
What up?
Boom clap, Stokers.
We're here in the new studio again.
Yeah.
We've got Aaron over there.
I think you're off camera, but your presence is always felt.
Hello, Aaron.
His shock is still not in frame, actually good soakers could feel it i think the energy
comes through the audio waves for sure we're here in the studio again yeah i'm loving it it's great
yeah how you doing oh we got fruit sorry i'm just plug nation right now we got fruit smash too
shout out to them you guys if you're going to drink hard seltzer and you want to
drink a cool new hard seltzer and you want to drink a cool new hard
seltzer that gets you fired up and brings on the good times.
Check out fruit smash.
I also have a Celsius.
I don't think they formally sponsor us,
but they sent us a case.
Yeah.
So if you're going to drink an energy drink,
what if we just did plugs for the rest of the episode?
Yeah.
These,
uh,
that couch is brought to you by Wayfair
guys if you want to get a new couch check out
wayfair.com
horseradish strider called it out last week
that's the color
although Joe was saying it's more of a Dijon
I think Dijon more
horseradish is more kind of white
oh you're right
interesting
it just sounds like the right color for it right yeah dijon's a little
boring it's not as fun to say it's horse radish i think we just stick with the horse radish
it's horse radish yeah uh well nice man how you doing i'm good dude trying to think what i've
been up to just been chilling dude worked out today at the park nice hit some pull-ups hit
some toes to bar did some push-ups went for a nice walk with our friend Rachel Cuthbert.
She's amazing.
Oh, she's in town.
Yeah, she's in town because she's doing her stand-up show.
Right.
Yeah.
Did she move?
She lives in Austin now.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
She's doing like the Aubrey Marcus like life coaching program.
Right, right.
It sounds pretty cool.
Yeah.
And then what else did I do?
Then I played some Call of Duty.
Then I did a little work.
And then now I'm potting.
It's been a lovely day.
Yeah.
It's a good day.
I mean, it feels like yesterday, yesterday felt like sort of a new, yesterday and Saturday
felt like we were entering spring formally.
Oh, yeah.
Because we had those like chilly days.
You know, there's like, there's like horseshit March, like kind of like cloudy days.
But then it was like 80 yesterday it's hot and i was like
yes bring it on julie came over today to get another camera for the studio yeah and she was
like aren't you hot in here and i looked at the temp and i was like it's 75 degrees in here nice
but i wasn't hot i was loving it yeah but it's it but it's's hot. I love it. Yeah. It's getting up there.
Bring it on.
That's sort of hot where it's like the new hot that comes in when you're ready for it.
You know, it's like I've had enough cold.
I'm ready for a hot, hot.
My body runs hot too.
Yeah.
Like people sometimes when they touch me, they're like, oh, you're warm.
Really?
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's nice.
I think it's the anxiety.
Really?
Twerking it up.
I run cold. I think I was thinking about this the other day. I think it's the anxiety. Really? Twerking it up. I run cold.
I think, I was thinking about this the other day.
I was like, we're like fire and ice a little bit.
You know what I mean?
That's kind of, you're like the ice man.
You get in the ice bath, you know?
Dude.
I'm always freaking out, crying.
So it's like, that's kind of our feng shui personally.
Feng shui.
Mmm.
That was a little yodi-wee on's a good point val kilmer's cool too
he's awesome yeah really good actor yeah i guess they didn't think he could play jim morrison in
the doors so he sent a tape that was like all degraded like video quality wise of a jim morrison
performance to oliver stone the director and he was like oh this is really good he's like that's
actually me in it really i think that's the that's the story but he had a director, and he was like, oh, this is really good. He's like, that's actually me in it. Really? I think.
That's the story.
That's cool.
But he had a run there where he was in that,
and he was in Tombstone,
and he was really good in something else
that I can't remember.
He played Cunth in MacGruber.
He was really funny in that, too.
I mean, he aged kind of poorly.
It's a bummer.
Because he doesn't believe in medicine.
He's a Christian scientist
Oh really
Does he still have cancer
I think so
So hopefully he's doing some medicine for that
But hey live your life
It's up to you
Yeah
Dude and also speaking of medicine
We got our vaccine shots
Right yeah
Dude we're dosed up
Modern
Got the modern
Dude and when we were in line
I was because we all You, and our friend Dan.
Yeah.
All got our appointments around the same time at Dodger Stadium.
And I was like ahead of you.
And so we were talking, you know, we were calling, we're all nervous.
We're like, oh, I don't know if I want to do this, but like, let's do it.
It's kind of, it was almost like going to prom or something like that.
Yeah, yeah.
And then, and then I called you and I was like, which one are you guys doing?
Let's all make sure we get the same one. Yeah. like which one are you guys doing let's all make sure
we get the same one yeah i was like all right let's all do maderna we're all doing maderna
yeah and we were all on the same page and then i got my shot and then you dudes effed with me
and we're like yeah we decided we're doing johnson and johnson and i was like what the fuck i was
like we said we're doing maderna dude but then you guys said you were full you got two shots dude
that sucks for you yeah but it's so funny that you pull in and it's like you get a choice of vaccine.
Yeah.
When in history have people been like, which company vaccine are you going with?
I don't think that's ever happened.
It kind of bugs me.
It bugs me that the technology just wasn't shared across the board and everyone was like,
hey, we're not worried about revenue or intellectual property. we're just here to share and get the best vaccine everyone's
like no there's 33 different vaccines in america yeah yeah you got to do like yelp reviews and
figure out which one you want yeah i know yeah we were it's not that dramatic but well we were
looking up johnson and johnson because it's it's one shot and we're like that sounds nice but then
they're like the efficacy is lower and stuff and but even even if you get it it sounds like it still will greatly reduce the disease that you get from it which is nice yeah
and then the person who came up to give me my shot or to scan my shit was like started talking
me and they're like he was really funny he's like you sound like one of those surfer dudes
i was like yeah it's like kind of my thing he's like we say radical for me and i was like radical
and then he was like yes and he like ran over to the cooler where they had the shots
and he was like talking to the nurse he's like this dude's hilarious all i had to do was elongate
my vowels he loved it it was so weird and kind of dystopian pulling in because like when we were
in line to get the vaccines like i was it felt like we were graduating yeah like we were in line it felt like it was the start of summer break i was like
summer's here like we finished high school like that that's how i felt i had that same feeling
but it was just to get a vaccine it does it did feel like once i got it i was like oh we made it
you know what i mean yeah it's been like a year this and it does even beyond us getting the
vaccine i'd already been feeling this way for a while i know cases are like taking up a little bit but it does feel like new york times had a huge article
today about how the vaccines are working really well at preventing even like asymptomatic uh
disease and like spread yeah like people aren't getting it if they have the vaccine i think that's
basically what the article said yeah and uh so it did and i'd been feeling this way i could feel it
in the streets it feels like we're like in a different chapter of this and potentially hopefully one of the later ones
so we can dude i'm fucking fired up on it dude me too i'm ready to get out there traffic is booming
traffic is back in la i've never been more fired up to be in traffic you know what else too i think
uh from what i've gathered from people the dating apps have slowed down a little
bit and i think it's a good sign because i think it means that people are out and about more yeah
that's good yeah i um it's interesting getting the vaccine too because you know it's such a
people make such a big deal about it and then there's like the controversy around it
and then when you get it you know you're like it just feels like such like a
nothing thing nothing thing you're like that's what everyone's like freaking out about you know
they just like i didn't feel the shot no it's barely a poke and people are like yeah be like
1984 is coming yeah you get that vaccine you don't know what's in it and then they give it to you and
you're like i think it's fine a lot of comedians aren't getting it.
Really?
A lot of people we're friends with aren't getting it.
I'm just like, I'll get it in my nuts.
They all say they'll do it if it's mandatory.
Yeah.
But they're like, I'm not doing it.
Yeah.
If I had the option to get it in my nut sack to get back to normal life, I'd take it.
Hell yeah, dude.
I'll shoot it in your nuts for you.
I was feeling off.
You'd bukkake it?
Aaron wants it all.
Aaron wants to do vaccine bukkake.
What a beast.
He's looking out for all of us.
Yeah, I'd take it.
What if I was too into it?
I'd take it on my face and my ass and just get so into the details.
While it squeezes my nuts and someone's stepping on my neck.
You hear about JT? He got the vaccine in his ass.
That's what was the big thing in China, right?
When they were like, they're testing COVID in the butt.
It's more accurate.
It was like this, you know, it was like another...
I feel like every month we get some articles from like, you know how crazy China is?
And then you're like, whoa, yeah, they're really willing to push the envelope.
They'll go farther than we will.
I think it's a huge competitive advantage for them
that they're willing to do.
Like whenever I see that,
I'm like, China's taking COVID so seriously,
they're doing anal swabs because it's more accurate.
I'm like, we're done.
Like they're just going to eat our lunch.
These people are willing to just go the extra mile every time.
Yeah.
Like here in America, we're like, nah, we're good, dude.
I think I would go there,
just get tested like that for the experience.
I think it'd be hilarious.
It is really funny.
Yeah.
Hard to do in a drive-thru, though.
Yeah, I'm used to sticking my ass out car windows. That'd be easy for me.
You could easily do that.
All you have to do is moon.
Yeah.
I used to write stuff on my butt.
I mean, it's so uncomfortable when you get the thing in your nose, but can you imagine
that thing in your ass? That would would be tough i've never had anything i've had a finger sort of in my butt but not deep
so i i don't have i don't have much uh that you know i was thinking about that though too with
like sexuality and i really do think because i follow some people on only fans but i follow
dudes who have sex with a lot of women oh really which is kind of gay I think you know right yeah that's interesting yeah and then at one time I went to a
gay bar with I've told the story before with our buddy and there was so much uninhibited sexuality
because when you go to like a hetero club like you know it's it's pretty restrained like guys
are trying to hit on girls but it's all pretty like, it's not in a sexual realm yet.
But at the gay bar,
there was like naked dudes,
just in G strings,
not fully naked.
And then like they'd see a hot guy
and then not all of them,
but like a hot guy would come up
and just stick his face
straight in the guy's ass.
And I was horny for like two weeks
after I went there.
Really?
Yeah, like really horned me up.
Interesting.
And then I was thinking like
if I had been born
and I had been taught that like hooking up with dudes was
cool.
I think I could be into like dudes,
you know what I mean?
But I was just raised where it was like,
it's cool if you hook up with a girl.
Interesting.
And then,
so I was like,
okay,
well that's,
that's what I'm into.
And I think it's pretty deeply ingrained,
but it's like,
I do think I have some like,
you know,
and I hate when like straight guys claim that they're gay
especially in LA it's like a little I don't know it just feels
like not authentic but
you know I think I have a little touch of it
yeah
but not super gay just like when I have sex with a girl
I like to like you know have a hot dog in my hand and
lick it once in a while
Oscar Mayer or Heber National
Heber National higher quality
little thicker dog.
I can't say I feel the same way, but I think that's cool.
Yeah, I don't think you're very gay.
No.
I mean, I like...
Not that you're opposed to it, but just...
I like being touchy-feely with my friends.
Mm-hmm.
Just because...
I don't know.
Especially with my older brother and his friends and stuff, I would always give them big hugs, you know? Because i don't know especially with my older brother and his friends and stuff i would
always give them big hugs you know because i don't know i think i just like being affectionate with
my older brother but that's nice yeah yeah but i don't think i ever brought a sexual vibe to it
um when i hadn't i think it's cool when i was deep in you know i claim i was a 24 year old
virgin i should get this out in the open although it it really hurts the narrative that i've kind of uh convinced myself of but i did put my wiener barely in
someone when i was like 17 oh really and then i think she was shy and so like it wasn't really
there was no give right and then i pulled out and that was it yeah but technically i had i i didn't have sex but i
was no longer a virgin i don't i don't think you don't think so no okay i i think i think you gotta
i think you gotta be like you know there's got to be a couple pumps you gotta be pumping yeah
well it's good we settled that thank you so i can stick to what i've the story i've been telling
that so when i was a virgin i was 24 i remember when i was like 22 ish i'd be like hanging out with my buddy andrew's like a hot dude really sensitive and
stuff and i'd like grab his knee like when we got excited during like an episode of mad men or
something and i could feel a a charge between us but i don't think i was i think it was honestly
because i just i had no options who are girls so i was like at some point your brain's just like
well we need you know something right almost like prison i could see doing that with andrew yeah he's probably pretty choice he's a
big he's like a sexual conductor you know what i mean dude when he used to go into his room
at his apartments whatever apartment he lived in yeah everyone who walked in was like man some
fucking happens in here i can feel it yeah he just had an incredible ability to uh concoct that energy yeah yeah
he's sort of like tesla's reactor a tesla coil he's like a tesla coil of boning for sure yeah
just a great guy electrical semen big time that's cool and and also the um the the juice that comes
out of the female genitalia i think the those two reacting what's going on i don't know i was trying to be inclusive no i saw you
getting shy so i like was like i was digging in no but what do you mean uh i think i was just i
was just trying to be inclusive like it's that's nice it's semen and be inclusive people love that
i love it saying like pussy i understand that i don't know maybe i just you don't say it at People love that. I think I get a little bit uncomfortable saying, like, pussy.
I understand that.
I don't know.
Maybe I just... Am I just so polite?
You don't say it a ton.
Am I just so polite that I don't know?
There's nothing wrong with that.
Oh, thanks.
It's nice.
Thanks, man.
I don't like saying that word a ton either.
I mean, maybe a little bit when I'm playing Call of Duty, you know?
Right.
But I do always get, like, a little pang of, like, yeah, it's a little harsh. i'm when i'm playing call of duty you know right but i do always get like a little pang of like like yeah it's a little harsh yeah yeah and i'm not even trying to be politically
correct i just sort of like you know and don't get me wrong i'm i'm horny i know you are and i
you know i know you are i'll get after it but absolutely but i think i just keep the language
nice well sometimes people accuse like they're like you're
soft you're being politically correct i'm like no no i don't say this shit yeah i'm like i'm just
trying to be nice yeah yeah yeah oh man that's funny no i feel you yeah i was even thinking
about that like i'll probably cut this but like with dave chappelle's special, his specials, you know, like he, he talks so much about
trans people and I, it is like interesting that we have so much public discourse about
that when it's a pretty small segment of the population.
So I do understand why people like react to it.
Cause they're like, why is this taking up so much like of our media and like headspace
and stuff.
Yeah.
But he did spend like an hour and a half talking about
it in all of his specials and like i'm just like and he's so funny he's a genius but i'm just like
just be nice leave him alone i'm like you don't need to do an hour and a half i'm like hit him
with one or two and let's keep him moving dude i have no i'm in no position to tell dave chappelle
how to do comedy but that was what i felt when i watched it yeah yeah i was like just be nice
yeah yeah i mean i do say you know i can be mean as fuck and say off color shit, but for the
most part I try to be nice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I think I've always gravitated towards, towards people who are a little bit meaner in like
high school and college.
I've always been like, they have this ability to just be mean.
And I think I just thought it was funny yeah well you loved when we would go
and when we went on our first comedy trip you nicked apollo the whole way oh that's right yeah
he's one of the most like acerbic and edgy hard-hitting comics so it's great joke writer
too but like i mean super like yeah hard hard hitting yeah i think i think it's just because
i i i'm just so not that way
maybe it's like a whole i'm just sort of in awe of people who can just say shit like that
it dude it's a power it is but i don't really have those thoughts you know what i mean right
it's more i'm just like that's hilarious that's how his brain works and that's what comes out of
his mouth you know what i mean yeah i mean reading the Steve jobs book, like one of my main takeaways is like his real superpower beyond being like
really bright and motivated.
Yeah.
Like the things that distinguish him from other people is like first he,
he has like,
no,
uh,
he doesn't ever rely on the past to dictate the future.
Like he'll change one 80 on a subject or a topic or,
right.
Cause he's like,
no,
don't like,
I'm not going to be constrained by like
the dogma of who i was yesterday or like what people who what people think i am uh-huh he'll
just he's just completely like willing to adapt but then the other thing is he's just willing to
fight all the time right like he goes into every situation without any fear of conflict yeah and
that's like his superpower he just fights with everybody if he believes and he's often right but
like it is pretty crazy to be that kind of person yeah it's been helping me a little bit where i'm like no just say what you think i mean
it's gonna come out nicer out of my mouth and he calls me he's like you're a fucking idiot this
fucking sucks yeah go fix it right it's like some guy who like invented the nano ipod but like i you
know i can do like my version like and be nice and be like hey i feel this way and i feel strongly
about it and it's like okay right yeah. It's okay to have some conflict.
Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely.
But I do hear you.
There is like the people who are really,
Tim Dillon's like that too.
Like when I watch him, like,
but yeah, again, I just don't think like he does.
You know what I mean?
My brain's just not really wired that way.
Yeah.
I think I have fantasies of like,
I don't know,
I could watch Entourage back in the day
and I'd be like, like yeah i want to be
like re gold just like yeah just but i you know i had to come to terms with that's just not me
people used to tell me i was like him really i was a little more of a shit talker when i was i was a
huge shit talker when i was younger really i mean i still can be like when i'm playing call of duty
but that that doesn't even count to me because that's just like boy shit yeah yeah no that's cool i mean yeah i think i think you just gotta but isn't ari a
little mean to his assistant lloyd oh yeah i don't think you'd ever do that no i don't think you'd
ever do that if i'm gonna be mean to someone's gonna be in a deeper life way i'm gonna like you
notice you like say a lot of things but it feels like you're trying to create a version of yourself
for us to believe in that you don't even believe in i'd say something like that yeah that made me
feel bad about myself i wasn't talking to you i know i know but still that's like how i insult
people that's soul crushing i try to come from more of a sincere place of insulting someone
yeah i guess i just picture you more as a shit tiger like walking down the hallway and just sort
of like finger pistols people with you know little remarks yeah nice backpack
dylan yeah stuff like that yeah i used to do a lot of that yeah yeah we saw your pubes last night
yeah i think i always had an inner desire to be like that but at a certain point i had to
come to terms with like i'm like no i know, it's cool to be mellow.
Even though when people would describe it, they'd be like, dude, you're mellow.
I'd get some, I'd be like, I'm not mellow.
No, I'm always envious of you when we have like a situation that, uh, like if we're having
a disagreement with someone over something creative or like the direction of something,
I'll get like, or if I feel like I'm not being heard i'll get like i'll call you
and i'm like i'm like fired up about this man you're like i think it'll work out and it's i
envy you i'm like yeah because most of the time it does yeah you know yeah and then i'm like oh
fuck man i'd like to be that chill and then i'll try but then i just like well i i you're you're
better at expressing i i'll have those feelings in my in my my dome and, but then I'll just sort of like mellow out, I guess. Um, so yeah.
That's good. That's good. People it's, that's an interesting thing too,
is that people are like, Hey, when you're mad, you don't have to respond.
Like wait till you're not mad. Yeah.
But I was like grew up in a place where you use that madness and that anger to
like funnel what you're thinking. And it
actually gives you a lot of juice when you're talking to someone. So it's hard for me. And
then sometimes I make mistakes, but then sometimes I actually think it helps me that I react when I'm
mad. Cause I need the, the madness gives me willpower to fight. If I'm not mad, I'm not
going to, I'll just let it go. And then I'm like, okay, well I better fight with them now when I'm
mad. Cause if I let it go, I'm not want to fight oh that's interesting so like when i get mad sometimes
i'm like yes yeah it's like fuel and then i call him right back and i'm like what the hell was this
like what is going on yeah yeah and they're like what's up with you i'm like i'm mad yeah i guess
i've had instances in my life where i've when i've when i've reacted to like my anger it just always comes out just like not cool you know
what do you mean like i was just like i thought i thought this kid kenny in college stole my couch
you know or like slept on my couch some other things or jizzed on it you know you guys know
um and i was like kenny kenny what'd you do to my couch you fucking bitch and then i i was playing golf with
my dad after that and i was like kenny's a good guy like no you did the right thing you didn't do
anything it wasn't him no oh okay well you know you made a mistake but i wouldn't be hard on
yourself for making that mistake uh yeah but you only called him a bitch you didn't get too
personal or anything yeah i just called him a bitch but that's nothing he probably him a bitch you didn't get too personal or anything yeah i just call him a bitch
but that's nothing he probably is a bitch not in a bad way we're all bitches he's kind of a bitch
we're all kings and bitches yeah i think i'm more of like in arguments and stuff or like when people
like like press me i'm like i just want to be like can you give me like 10 minutes to reflect
on this and like really think about it and i'll come back with my rebuttal yeah you do
a great job with that because we had like uh we were working on a project and we had a disagreement
with some people we were working with on it and i was more like in the phone call immediately
afterwards i was like pushing back more and a little upset yeah but then you took a day
and then you formulated all your ideas into an email and you had like this whole record of like why you felt the way you did and why you
felt like uh why like some things they said might have been unfair or something like that it was so
well thought out i was like oh that was like a really smart way to handle it oh thanks man yeah
but you still get the point across yeah yeah and it was a little more substantive than mine which
was like a little bit more just because i'm just on my feelings i'm like okay well i feel this way
and i feel that way and like yeah
But you're able to make really eloquent points when you're in your feelings dude let's like each let's kiss each other right now
Come here aaron are you are you about to vomit is this too much dude yeah
Aaron's about to kill himself dude i know people will love it i hope
Jesus christ you guys shut up and stop liking each other
Enough is enough
um oh dude i dm'd andrew schultz and he dm'd me back that's nice you did what'd you say
uh because he's getting francis and ghanu who's gonna come up later on the pod the ufc new heavyweight
champion oh nice beast on his pod and i just wrote amazing and he said oh shit what's up man
that's what he said he said oh shit what's up man oh really yeah isn't that cool wow that's cool i know i'm kind of pumped uh damn so so he knows who we are maybe you are no he well if he knows
who i am he definitely knows who you are um dude i wanted to talk about this i was gonna make him
my beef but i don't want to make him my beef because i don't want to have too hard of a perspective on it but like so we did it we're
doing new videos where we review pokey bowls and and people have corrected us and said it's actually
pokey and i'm sorry but i think i'm gonna stick with pokey for a while it's gonna take more
shaming to get me to switch but i never change you beast bro i that. Stick to your guns. But people responded in the comments and they're like,
bros, you can't be eating fish.
Have you guys seen Seaspiracy?
And I was like, God damn it, dude.
Is there like anything ethical that we can do
in this like information age,
like capitalist society that we live in?
Like, I don't know what the,
what are the machinations that are making everything bad, i think those sound like they're in the ballpark
like is there anything i can do that's like because you'd start drinking oat milk and then
people are like oh that's actually the water resources needed to make oats is like yeah super
bad for the environment you shouldn't drink oat milk and then you know you eat spinach and people
are like oh it's gonna give you what other thing you told me spinach do? Oxalates.
Oxalates, yeah.
Right.
Give you kidney stones.
But that's more on the health side.
I'm even just thinking of like the ethical side of like – Yeah, right there with you.
Is there anything you can do?
This was my beef too actually.
Really?
Yeah, it really bothered me because it's just like people come –
they're like, bro, what are you eating, fish?
I'm like, what are you doing?
What do you eat? Yeah, what do you eat? Fish? I'm like, what are you doing? What do you eat?
Yeah, what do you eat?
Are you just on Soylent all day?
And if you are, mass respect to you.
You're a better person than me.
But like, I'm probably not going to watch.
Now that I'm talking about it, I'm going to watch it.
Because now that we're talking about it publicly, I'm going to feel compelled.
But I would not have watched Seaspiracy under normal circumstances.
Yeah, getting those messages made me want to eat more fish and not watch it and eat fish on video.
This is the DePaulo in you.
Yeah, because I don't like being told what to do.
You know, bro.
And then like these morality pillies coming in, you're eating something like a poke bowl.
And people are like, bro, you're eating a poke bowl.
It's like...
Eating a poke bowl is evil now yeah and you're
like you know i get you know factory farming you know i i try to like buy meat and stuff from like
uh more ethical places more ethical places and whatever the term is there's some places that
you know if you buy beef from certain farms that are like free range, they're carbon
sink. So they actually suck carbon out of the atmosphere. Oh, nice. And then with fish, you
know, I don't really know if you can do the same with fish. I think maybe just fishing is just
bad in general. Probably. But you know, but everything's bad. That's my point. Everything's
bad. Yeah. There's nothing point everything's bad yeah there's
nothing that there's no there's no way to get out of this life without having a negative footprint
on like there are some people do i mean i'm not holding myself to too uh rigid of a standard
i'm pretty lax with myself but i don't know i just and it was just so surprising to me because
it's like it's bros who are getting mad at us which is kind of sweet because it's like, it's bros who are getting mad at us, which is kind of sweet. Cause it's like these really like, uh, enlightened and, you know, uh,
involved bros, but they're like, dude, my man, man, dude,
massive love for you and Chad, but dude, for real tuna, bro.
Tuna on the main channel, dude.
Not cool, bro.
Check out conspiracy.
Definite negatives coming from all that fish consumption.
I'm like like this guy
parties yeah but how does he party is he just drinking out of like what's he drinking out of
and and on top of that people are like if you eat plants you're doing good for the earth i'm like
that's not necessarily true like the the huge agriculture and stuff tons of animals get killed
with that shit and there's like displacing the
animals so that they can make room yeah it's not like it's not like that's like you know completely
harmless like you're still doing you're still harming the environment and you're still killing
animals right when you're eating plants so you know go fuck yourselves yeah we're way over our
skis now but if i can say one thing i don't know
what the hell i'm talking about but you can go fuck yourself but you're cool man look i appreciate
it i gotta be a better person but i mean but man i'm trying in a million different part places
like i'm blown and like i gotta focus on my relationships before i focus on like what i'm
doing to fish i know they're not mutually exclusive but like you know i'm fucking out
here getting annihilated and doing some annihilating.
I can't be worried about where I'm getting my pokey from.
I know.
But yeah, no, I thank you guys for reaching out, I guess.
Yeah, we appreciate it.
We should watch Seaspiracy.
Yeah, we'll watch Seaspiracy.
So we can be super sad.
Yeah.
Aaron, what do you think?
I'm with you.
I think plants, farming is a problem too
because you've got shipping yeah guys you don't have aaron aaron's an ethical dude man
right good call is that on mike no well the people here he said what are the labors about
shipping the environmental
cost of shipping you know how much water it takes to make almond milk like gallons of water
gallons so yeah take your almond milk
and yeah i don't know do something good with it. And, you know,
pesticides,
all that stuff.
It's shrinking your dongs,
which,
you know,
Oh,
that was a huge article that everybody sent out.
Yeah. That should be the one article we covered.
Yeah.
Everyone sent us,
did you see that Aaron?
Everyone sent out an article that said pollution is causing dongs to get smaller.
Yeah.
That,
if anything could,
you know,
be a catalyst to get, to, to galvanize this into change.
I think that's it.
Totally.
Because we already got micro dongs.
I don't got inches to spare.
Yeah.
I can't get more dexterous with these digits, my fingers.
Yeah, I mean, our dongs are under attack.
Our dongs are under attack.
We got to fix it.
We got to do something.
And it's probably somewhere
connected to c-spiracy well here's i think here's the solution that i think i think it's i think it's
you maurice's dong well first yeah we got to make a at least a bronze relic of maurice's dong so we
have a you know frame of reference for what a dong could be yeah so we know what the past looks like um but i'm sorry what were you saying well i think it's just ethical farming you you buy from people
you know you go to the farmer's markets you go you buy meat from uh you know free uh free range
grass-fed i mean it's more expensive but but, you know, organic beef, organic produce, ethical farming, ethical fishing, if that's a thing.
You know, at least dolphin-safe tuna.
But maybe Sea Spirits is like, here's the thing about dolphin-safe tuna.
You know they're going to hammer everything.
Yeah.
And you know, whatever they don't hammer, there's another documentary in the pipes that's going to be here in like a month or two.
Totally.
That whatever you jump ship to, they're going to sink that one as well.
Yeah. There's no safe place to stand right now yeah and and and with with with regards to dong size you know it's just you know eat eat organic because it's the poison and
the pesticides and it's not in the air uh i think it's air i think it's air pollution too a little
bit which i don't know you can do about that but keep wearing masks get like painter's masks every time you go out and then
yeah put a little note on it's like for my dong yeah but yeah dude dude then you could get people
to wear it and then girls start hitting on those guys you know yeah dude that guy's natural girth
how funny would it be if a girl was like oh oh my God, your dick's so little. Thank God.
Yeah.
Like if she was really into it.
Oh my God, you got a little dick.
Look at how cute that thing is.
I love it.
You like my little dick?
I love it.
Really?
It's so cute.
I hate those big monster dumb dicks.
What do you think when you see my dick?
Simplicity is elegance.
Thanks.
Do you like my bellend?
Mm-hmm. I wouldn't even call it a bellend. bell i'd call it a little what's smaller than a bellend what's a little a thimble a little thimble
end for real for real come here give me that thing do you like how my balls are huge i do i have big
balls people comment on that.
You got big nuts.
Really?
Thanks.
Don't know what that's good for.
Well, you know, I guess my brother's got big grandpa nuts too.
Really?
Let's go par families.
Let's go.
Dude, I, uh, see about this too, uh, with my ex, you you know she was a engineer and so i remember i'd get like insecure and i'd be like should i know more about science should i study engineering and then she would
talk about bitcoin i just could not care less about bitcoin it just doesn't interest me but i
was like should i learn about bitcoin it's weird how like other people's like what they value become what
you value right but i don't care about you know engineering school i think that's dope like hard
sciences that's that's what's up but like bitcoin i'm interested in it because i just don't want to
miss out if everybody's talking about it but it's not something that i would instinctively care
about i i do i do stuff like that all the time i remember when we were working
on a big project last year and we were continuing like every day we were with a group of really
smart people like writers and artists too yeah i i was i was like listening to audiobooks that i
thought would would make me sound smarter but that i'd have tons of factoids from you know like
i got benjamin franklin's biography brutal and i was just
it's like history of united states i'd just be driving i'm like this sucks
was that the isaacson one was it the same guy who wrote the steve jobs one
dude it might be because i think he did einstein and i think he did a founding father but i'm not
sure which one let me check he's a good writer though he really like
stays out of the way of the story but yeah dude ben franklin come on yeah let's see
uh the right of a lifetime bob agar that was actually that was a good one yeah
uh yeah walter isaacson nice yeah he goes really in depth but uh it was brutal that must have that's got to
be tougher to write ben franklin's than to write because you can talk to people who knew steve jobs
you can't really yeah how do you do like a first person account for franklin yeah i mean i'll
respect him he's a cool dude wasn't he in europe and like he left his wife he was in france and he
left his wife in america and he just stayed over
there for 30 years i don't think he even saw her before she kicked the bucket i think so i mean to
be honest i don't think i absorbed any of that audiobook because i would just continually switch
to jessica simpson that song so yeah which one i think i'm in love good song her book was good dude john mayer and the moana song that guy
got deep into her dome oh oh right yeah yeah he tripped her up hard that's a bummer yeah
he like was so persuasive that when they broke up and she was dating tony romo
uh he pete wentz who was like one of his good buddies was dating Ashley Simpson so he'd go over to
like get togethers with the whole family and he convinced the
parents to reach out to Jessica
and be like hey John's changed you should like meet up
with him. Really? When she had
Tony Romo as a boyfriend but John Mayer was that persuasive
Wow. He kind of like seduced the whole family
Interesting. And then so
Romo finds out that she's been
that she emailed with Mayer
not anything too much.
And I think they might have even met up.
Like she didn't do anything super inappropriate,
but he just got mad and broke up with her.
And then he tried to get her back and she was like,
no, this was like the right thing.
We shouldn't be together.
And she was like, but he'll never admit publicly it was over John
because it would make him look like weak or something like that.
Wow.
I was like, yeah, but you put it in the book.
But it's in the
book so who's she married to now uh this old football player eric johnson who was like a
tight end for a couple years i think he had one really good season nice and uh yeah she says that
he's like a yoga guy and like pretty spiritual and i think they had a nice nice first sesh bone sesh that's cool
that fires me up i've mentioned this before and i don't know why it makes me smile i just have a
morbid sense of humor but her hero and her best friend growing up is like her i don't know if
they're related but it's this like girl who's like a family friend who's like straight a student
super religious like gets other kids to join the faith just like a leader and she dies because a
horse got loose at a rodeo and ran straight into her car on the freeway and how'd she die the horse
just came through the fucking window and killed her sorry it's funny right because you're reading
the book and you can tell the girl's going to go down
from like the kind of tone that she has about her.
Like it's all kind of like past tense, you know?
She's like, she was my hero.
And then you get to the next page and you're like,
then a horse got loose at the rodeo
and ran through her truck.
And you're like, you kind of look around,
you're like, never heard of that happening.
And I swear to God, I think I closed the book
and I was like, this might be the best book I've ever read.
It was a high watermark that was hard to reach again that's funny yeah crazy deaths yeah sorry
i'm really sorry to jay sims though that's terrible yeah i'm sorry that a
youth was lost that's terrible totally but you just don't hear about that much um
i was like is there something that happened this weekend I can't remember
I got nothing
you're good dude
should we answer some questions
yeah
some listeners have been saying
they want us to do more questions
I gotta
I gotta pee real quick
yeah let's do it
it's a good point guys
Chad's back from the bathroom
and he's saying how like
and aaron said that maybe we shouldn't even trust conspiracy because they lied and remember the the
first like expose duck not the first one because like i remember like i watched the enron one when
i was like 19 and that was really good but the uh the one about sea world what was that one called
blackfish blackfin fish blackfish that's that was wrong i heard there was stuff in there that was The one about SeaWorld. What was that one called? Blackfish? Blackfin? Fish.
Blackfish.
That was wrong?
I heard there was stuff in there that was bogus.
Really?
Yeah, like the way that they say that the dorsal fin folds
because the whale gets sad.
I don't know if that's supported by science.
Again, way over my skis here,
but I think I heard that from someone who knew.
But that was a good doc.
It will make you really sad dude when you see fucking orca whales that are sad and then they have like you
know he's a misunderstanding i wouldn't call him a villain he's a misunderstood um you know uh
creation of his circumstances but tilikum yeah the killer whale that just mercs like 40 i think
he kills like 17 he doesn't kill 17 i'm being way over the top with the numbers but he fucks up like
a bunch of the uh the trainers and then he he sires like if you go through all the orcas in
america it's like gangas khan he's like the father of all of them
right oh yeah so till it comes killer mindset dawn so all these trainers are just you know
and he would fuck them up he'd like pin them to the bottom of the pool and like beat the shit out
of him nice like he was kind of sadistic about it yeah because they were riding his fucking which
is amazing yeah a trainer dude how cool is that you're a trainer on an Orca and an Orca jumps out of the air and then you,
you fly through the air.
Right.
Off the Orca's nose.
Can you imagine that's your job?
That's what I'm saying.
Dude.
I mean,
you start dating a girl and you're like,
why don't you come by,
come by work sometime.
And it just,
that's instantly where my head went flying through.
Yeah. What's up? Oh, is it? Why don't you come by work sometime? That's instantly where my head went. Flying through, yeah.
What's that?
Oh, is it?
They start dating one of those guys?
Because it's like so...
And everyone's like, okay, this guy's amazing because he does that?
Yeah.
Yeah, how could you not?
All right, should we do some cues?
Yeah.
Oh, these are long, dude.
But we're doing a lot of questions today so we can go on
people said that i read fast because i'm trying to show off that i read fast and
can't say you're wrong what up chad and jt and hopefully strider and joe i'm freaking
amped to be asking you guys for advice since i've been in a relationship for the entire time i've
been listening to you guys you guys are legends and i love you dudes so much so i've been dating
my girlfriend for quite some time years i graduated I graduated in from UNCW last December and have been living at home
while my girlfriend is finishing up school in May at U of Miami, the U baby. She is a freaking
beast. She works for the school's fashion magazine, got an awesome internship in NYC last summer,
and is not shy to slam some beers with me. Truly my best friend. And this is why I feel so empty right now. Over the last six months, we just haven't had the connection we
had when we started dating. She says that our interests are not as similar. We weren't, we
aren't on the same communication wavelength. And the last time I went to Miami, she felt like it
was an awkward experience. While those things might be true, I've been having some issues too.
She was not very nice to me and didn't have nice things to say about anything. When I last visited
her in Miami, she's usually such a nice, sweet girl, but that weekend she seemed to have her bad bitch mentality on.
I didn't think much of it because she told me it was that time of the month, so I thought this was the case.
So I leave and go back to NC, and three weeks later I hear a rumor that made me feel untrusting, speculative about her.
It's a rumor that is just immature to even bring up on air, but bottom line is that it set her off since I told her in the morning that went agolfed with the boys.
Then went agolfed with the boys.
I kind of need to know what the rumor is.
By the time I got back to tell her what I heard, she had all these issues to bring up with me.
I think she's just anxious and uncertain about graduating and then moving to NYC to work while I'm in NC. Although I'm planning to move there when it's a good time for me to get a job there. Okay, well, that due to the rumor that I heard.
Okay, well, that's what the rumor is.
And also the fact that the fireworks are dying down in the sheets.
So many thoughts running through my head.
And I was like, well, shit, I'll just ask my freaking boys I've been listening to for four years.
Love you guys.
And I'll write into history as dank to see what Strider has to say.
Oh, that's cool.
Nice.
Yeah, that's the way to do it.
that's cool.
Nice.
Yeah.
That's the way to do it.
I mean, I think,
I think she wants to break up with him and doesn't have the courage to do
it.
So I think she's being kind of a jerk to kind of,
uh,
I don't know,
make the situation unlivable so that it has to reach this breaking point
with some,
with,
you know,
one of you guys pulling the trigger.
And I think this happens a
lot unfortunately yeah i yeah i mean it kind of breaks my heart to say but yeah i think you know
the thing is man you're young and
these are just the you know this is this is life. This is romance.
You go through ups and downs.
And sometimes relationships, they just kind of fizzle out.
And I talked to a therapist one time, and she's like,
a good way of looking at it is like, okay, that part of my life is over now.
On to the next.
It's sort of like you're grateful that you had that experience with that person and it's time
to sort of keep pushing forward and just look ahead to,
to new people,
new experiences.
I love that dude.
That's very liberating.
Yeah.
Because I think he's come to define himself so much by his relationship with
her.
Yeah.
That actually this will be a huge opportunity for him to kind of like find
out who he really is.
Right. You know what really is. Right.
You know what I mean?
Right.
And, you know, look, there is a chance that you guys are just going through a rough patch
and that you'll kind of navigate through it.
That's totally possible.
Yeah.
But I do think there's a lot to that, too, where it's like, look, dude, you just got out of college.
And this could be a blessing in a very difficult disguise that, you know, you could really have a new life that is different than what you expected and might be better in a lot of ways.
Totally.
But you have to go through these really hard things to get there.
Yeah.
But also, you know, hopefully she's just...
Well, I don't know, though.
I'd be curious to hear more about this rumor too yeah because i think
sometimes too when people like cheat they'll they'll they kind of do it because they want to
end the relationship yeah you know yeah and so that that can be a way to kind of force the hand
too yeah and i think um
And I think, what was I going to say?
You know, especially when you're young, it's, and she may very well be sort of like the one for him.
But I think in my experience when I was young, you know, I thought everyone was the one.
Yeah.
Well, then you're young, so you have no frame of reference for, of course.
You get those new feelings.
They are the first one.
Yeah, and you're like, oh, this is awesome.
You know, it's like, then you can move forward and, you know, you keep evolving and eventually get to a place where you're like, you know, oh, that was just, that was the phase I was
in at that point.
You know, it's tough.
I think it's tough to really know the true one when you're you know 22 for sure listen to taylor swift song the one that's a
really good song really and it would have been fun if you would have been the one yeah yeah and
it would have been yeah but what can you do man i think you know you're doing your best it seems
like and also like she can acknowledge that she's not keeping up her end of the bargain.
And it's nice that she has that self-awareness, but if it ends there and she doesn't take
the next steps to like be more generous and nice to you and stuff, then it doesn't really
matter if she calls it out, you know, that, I mean, that gives it some breathing room.
You're like, oh, okay.
She knows.
So, so now, you know, I'll be like, you know, I'll give her a couple more chances without me being like punishing her for past behavior.
But if it doesn't change, then you're like, okay, look, this isn't getting better, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, I mean, almost for you, man, like it might be good for you to, I don't know.
Like,
what do you really think is like the healthiest thing for you?
Do you think the healthiest thing for you is to like,
keep going in this relationship with someone who seems like they're kind of
indecisive about you?
Or do you think the best thing might be to like,
kind of take control of where your life's going and be like,
look,
this isn't good for me and kind of make a choice based off that of your own best interest not in a selfish way but just
like you know you are you're important to you totally yeah i like that i forgot i should do ads
oh i thought we'd do them after this just because we went into it quick but maybe i'm wrong
no that's cool. Okay.
All right, what up?
I come to you from the land of Lincoln, Illinois.
Last night at a party, this girl came up to me and said her friend thought I was cute.
Let's go.
So she pulled me over and introduced me.
She was a year older.
I'm a freshman in college.
And after taking a...
She's an older woman.
Nice.
After taking a short while,
it felt like the spark just died off.
My question is,
how can I create a more exciting and interesting conversation to make girls more excited about me?
Maybe the vibes just weren't there last night for her.
But I feel like this scenario has happened before when a girl shows interest and then just shuts it off.
Love you guys.
Cody.
Yeah, bro.
That's everybody, dude.
I've had nine million conversations just peter out.
And then you're like, what did I do wrong?
What did I do wrong?
Everything and nothing, dude.
Yeah.
You got to be like a DB, defensive back in football.
Quick memory.
Quick memory.
Sort of like a pinball in a pinball machine.
You just bounce from conversation to conversation.
Pew, pew.
Dude, yeah. Trust me, I'm the king of you know i'll talk to someone for like a minute and then i'll just like yeah i i i yeah uh especially when i was young you know forget it i'm not i'm not
holding up a conversation i'm not i don't even know what the word banter meant until i was oh
yeah 25 if someone says they love banter meant until I was 25.
If someone says they love banter, red flag.
That conversation's going nowhere.
Oh, you wear sunglasses?
Maybe I do.
Oh, you drink Celsius?
Yeah.
You ever heard of Miami?
Look at this banter.
We should fuck.
That was pretty good.
You like that?
Yeah, I'm turned on.
Yeah, I've got some wisdom on me dude even i'll have
conversations peter out when i come in with like a leg up where like a girl be like oh my god i
like your stuff a lot you guys are hilarious yeah and then two minutes later conversation's dead i'm
like how did i blow this oh dude yeah that's brutal yeah yeah i've had that a lot like she
came in thinking i was cool yeah yeah it's funny you like you get into entertainment you're like man if i just like
get some notoriety it's smooth sailing it'll be easy peasy nah no dude nah struggle city bro yeah
i almost put more pressure on myself you know if i'm like i haven't done like you know i've been
in a relationship like but dude even in a relationship i would like struggle with it
with my girlfriend sometimes you know yeah you're like how come i can't bring the magic in here yeah yeah yeah
come on yeah we had a hundred thousand views yeah shouldn't that be enough yeah it's not
it's not that that you know that that's the that's the that's the whole ego thing it's like
you're like yeah if i just get like if i just get
this volcom shirt conversations are gonna flow and you know it just takes practice and also it
just takes this attitude i think of just being stoked on life and just the experiences you have
and the people you meet i think just having this like thing of like i got to meet all these great
people and when you get like into a conversation with a lady where you think that, you know, hopefully your genitals will meet, you know, don't put pressure on yourself.
Just have fun.
And if it doesn't work out, that's fine.
You get hit by a bumper to, you know, to a cool dude.
And then maybe you guys, you know, talk about, you know, that crazy bowling guy.
And then you find another lady and you're like, engage in sweet banter. And then you you guys, you know, talk about, you know, that crazy bowling guy. And then you find another lady and you're like, you can engage in sweet banter.
And then he goes, boom.
That's awesome.
That's life.
Dude, I also think just say, don't think about what you're going to say.
Say something.
And saying something dumb is better than overthinking what you're going to say.
Because here's the thing.
If you say something dumb, you can recover with the next thing you say.
Yeah.
You actually put yourself in a position to like actually seem cool if you say something really dumb and then you just all
you have to just go oh that was kind of dumb what i said yeah and if you call it out they're like oh
this guy's cool he like is aware he's yeah yeah so i would just say what first thing that comes
to your head like she's like how's your night going you're like it was good i almost tripped
when i walked into the party which would have been really embarrassing because like what if you take
a tumble in front of the whole party yeah you're like well maybe taking a tumble would have been
cool i would have been memorable and then all of a sudden he just said something yeah it doesn't
have to be perfect and then dude just do a lot of cool shit yeah go mountain climbing like just do
cool shit every day so when someone asks you what you did that day you have cool shit to say totally
and and also don't listen to these youtubers and anders who are like, you got to be alpha.
I hate that.
You got to dominate the room.
It gets so into my head, bro.
And I start being like, do I need to do that?
And it just makes me hate myself.
Yeah.
Then you actually look who's telling you to do this shit.
And you're like, this guy's a fucking goon.
Totally.
Well, see, I'd rather read the Steve Jobs book and just see how it worked with him and his relationships.
Rather than have someone who specializes in telling you what to do in those situations and like because at least with
steve jobs it's like i know all these tactics are like battle proven through his like actual life
and accomplishments yeah whereas with these other people they're like giving you advice and i'm like
but why are you giving advice right like yeah i'd rather just know about your life and hear about it through a different, like, I don't know, interaction dynamic.
Yeah. Yeah. Listen to like Bob Iger's book.
Yeah.
You know, where he's just like, you know, it took five months of trial and error to get to the CEO position.
I knew I had a lot of pressure on me and I wake up every morning and I do, you know, I'm like, and that's sort of like like that's who you want to you know strive to be like not you know not derrick hardcock totally with his alpha mentality
it's weird i just feel like with every one of those guys i'm like man some girl really broke
your heart every time i see one of those guys talking the camera's like in my past i allowed
other people to take advantage of me and put me in a subordinate
position that wasn't healthy for me or the other person.
But now through these nine steps,
I've learned how to take the high,
uh,
high terrain and put another person in a position to impress me,
which has helped my life a lot.
And I'm like,
I call it the penis tip method.
Yeah.
I'm like,
I call it the Tiffany method.
I'm like, dude, some girl did a number on you bro and he's just like beyond jacked with like the you know the the um shave side tight haircut yeah
and just like uh you know perfectly groomed um scruff here's what you gotta do you gotta
dominate them and make them feel like shit. Yeah.
You're like, what?
And if you're ever nice to your girlfriend, you fucked up.
I'm like, oh, fuck, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was thinking about that, too, with like simping.
And I was like, because I hate all that stuff, but it does get to me.
And I'm like, you know what?
Just simp until someone gives you a reason not to.
Yeah.
Just be nice until you have a reason. And then, you know, don't keep doing something if someone's not being nice back but like i don't know it seems like a because dude like even being
back on these apps like i was trying to be like i was trying to be like uh like kind of a dick
you know i was like trying to be like cool and then when that bombs that that feels extra shitty. Yeah.
When you're nice and it fails, you're like, oh, that was nice.
Yeah.
But when you're a dick and it fails, you're like, oh, God.
Yeah.
Because then you want to mess with me and be like, that's not really me.
Yeah, you want to apologize.
You're like, I'm sorry I was a dick there.
I was trying to be flirty.
Yeah, I was using the Tiffany method.
I'm so sorry.
Whereas if you're nice, you're just kind of like, oh, some things don't work.
And then you almost think the other person, you're like,
it's a bummer.
That person couldn't appreciate kindness.
Yeah.
It's just easier for 19 years of my life.
I was in the friend zone because I was a bitch.
And here's the thing.
I discovered I suffered for 19 years in the friend zone.
The guys are like,
and now I'm having sex every day of my life.
And you're like,
no,
you're not. Dude. I met, uh, marisi had some people over i didn't meet i'm friends with with
this person but uh there was someone there who did like a did casting for a pickup artist show
in like las vegas and she uh learned all these methods from the pickup artists about how to like
socially engineer situations yeah because she wanted help at her job and stuff and then so it was like really interesting to hear about like some of the this was like the
only tactic she like revealed to us was that like if you see somebody that you want to talk to
beckon them over to you because it puts i guess i'm doing all this fucking pickup artist shit
that i just said i hated but like i was interested and then she's like beckon them over beckon them
over to you because then they're at a disadvantage because then they have to think about what they're
going to say to you.
Yeah.
I guess that makes sense.
But then the whole time I was like,
wait, are you doing tricks on me right now
while we talk?
Like it made it hard for me to relax after a while.
I was like, I don't know.
I just think once you commit to that stuff,
you're committing to seeing the world
as a constant power struggle between people.
And like, I definitely have an overstimulated sense of that,
but is that how I really want to think about things
when I walk into a room?
No, no, you know what you don't want to do you don't want to use tricks
No, and you don't want to feel like everything's a transaction that you can win. Yeah, this this way
I mean I do sometimes you know, it's good to have that gear, but let's not live there
Yeah, you know what I mean? I think especially in social situation if you're having fun people are attracted to fun
They're attracted to stoke, having fun, people are attracted to fun.
They're attracted to stoke.
You know, they're attracted to energy.
It's all energy.
I think if you have good energy about you, that's all you need.
There's people who like always get invited on like trips.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's just because they're good hangs.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Strider.
Strider.
Every time you touch a strider, you're like, what are you up to?
He's like, oh, I'm going courtside to the Lakers.
My buddy Billy's bringing me.
Yeah.
I'm like, dude.
Yeah.
Because you're just the best guy to have around.
He's good energy.
That's all you need.
For sure.
All right.
What up?
I come to you from the... Oh, yeah, we just read this one.
He's a good dude.
Bros are changing my personality. What up, Chadad and jt i just joined a fraternity and was originally stoked about the idea but it's actually been kind of
fucked for my mental during pledging i started to feel a subconscious pressure to conform to the
personalities of the bros instead of being myself also i'm a junior so it's weird having younger
guys belittle me and treating me like a beta little bitch it took away all my confidence i'm
worried i gave off the wrong first impression of myself and i'm stressed about how to overcome that i'm
a pretty chill and likable dude but for some reason i lose all my social skills when i'm in
the frat setting because of my of this mental pressure how do i overcome feeling like the new
god and gain my personality and confidence back much appreached toby twister so he uh he's in a new he's pledging a frat as a junior
which is kind of interesting it makes me think like maybe he's not having the best time
maybe he needs more bros right yeah but then he's i don't know if he's like i don't know if he's like
the normal bro kind of guy because he feels like he's kind of having to compromise himself to hang out with these dudes yeah which isn't a bad thing it's it's kind of cool if you're a little
too like idiosyncratic to be in a frat i know you'd lose out on some of the benefits of being
in a frat like the access to all the parties and people you'd meet but you know i don't think
there's anything wrong with uh not fitting into frat culture no it's a bummer for a couple
years but in the long run that's probably uh a good indicator of things yeah yeah not that frats
are bad but because i know you were in a frat and you loved it right yeah i loved it for everyone
gets over it right i loved i loved it the first year and then it slowly declined um my buddy was at boulder and all the socal dudes were in a frat
at boulder yeah and they wanted to make them everyone every if you were in the frat you had
to live in the house like your junior year and everyone's like fuck that and they left and like
just disbanded the frat really yeah interesting but i i i do hear that a lot where people just
get over it by like junior or senior year yeah well it's like senior year you know it was like what some of our last weeks bro why weren't you at the meeting i'm like because i
want to go to a stupid meeting what are we gonna talk about um yeah we gotta talk about our next
party i'm like let's just throw a party just have a party yeah um i i do i get annoyed with that too
when people have i call it capital f fun yeah where everyone's like we're planning this and everyone has to
show up at this time for this thing yeah and then we're gonna have a photographer here i'm like
that's not how i party like i don't like it when there's an itinerary yeah yeah
especially nowadays people are like okay uh you should come because all these people i'm like i'm
gonna be naked in my bed watching Sons of Anarchy
that's what I'm gonna do
that's a party
I had fun
and I looked at OnlyFans too
yeah
I just follow dudes who bone lots of chicks
I'm gay
who do you follow
I don't want to get into it it's too embarrassing
I'll tell you off camera.
Well, are some just like picture of their boner?
There is that, but I skip that.
I'm just like, get me to the part where you're hooking up with chicks.
I'm not into like the explicitly.
I think it's like a vicarious thrill.
I think it's almost like the way I watch athletes where I'm like,
that guy's really good at something that I appreciate.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's cool.
But it's gay.
But I'm just a little gay.
Dude, I totally relate to this guy of not feeling like yourself for a little bit.
And I think don't put pressure on yourself.
You'll get comfortable.
I think some people, it just takes a little bit to get comfortable.
For sure.
You'll get comfortable in due time.
It just takes a little time to really you know get that osmosis take the long view of
it totally yeah it's always interesting i talked about this before like the people who are most
popular freshman year in high school by senior year it's like normally the nice people have
kind of become the most popular totally because their values and traits have kind of uh they don't
pop as much when you initially meet them you know what i mean yeah it's like the really badass guys who are cool
freshmen but then by senior you're like oh no i'd rather spend time with this really nice guy who's
got a kind of subtle sense of humor totally yeah but it takes a while for that stuff to
it's just it's only through being around someone a lot that that stuff kind of comes through yeah
yeah there's always those guys that just like dominate and like everyone loves them for like
a couple weeks it gets old like oh that guy's actually a massive
douche yeah he's like selfish he's a piece of shit yeah dude i was at marisi again because he
had people over and dude i was kind of like i shouldn't have said anything but we went back
to my old place where marisi lives and then i was like i'm just gonna hang out outside i don't want
to be inside with people because i just got the vaccine. I was like, I don't want to get COVID.
Yeah.
Like at the 11th hour, right before I'm like safe.
But everyone was like, you pussy get in the fucking house.
Like you fucking asshole.
You're ruining the vibe.
Yeah.
And I was like, oh, maybe I should dip.
But everyone was like, no, no stay.
But they just wanted to pick on me, you know?
Yeah.
And then, and then, so I just was like hanging on the door.
And then like, you know, some guys like, you know, fucking comedians comedians they they love to talk and they get so close to you they're just like
spitting on you yeah and so I keep backing up but I'm like I'm just you know I'm just in the
danger zone but it was weird for me being around a lot of guys again because I haven't been in that
setting a lot besides when I play Call of Duty right so I was kind of rusty at socializing yeah
like I'd come in and say something and it would create an awkward pause with everyone and i was like oh i'm kind of sorry guys i haven't hung out
with dudes in a while like i'm figuring this out again yeah and it was interesting i'm rusty that's
interesting yeah i uh i guess i don't know if i've had if i've hung out with crews of dudes
yeah or i or i hung out with the same i hung out with you i hung out with strider yeah hung out on
comms with the high school hung out with my brother and then i hung out with the same i hung out with you i hung out with strider yeah hung out on comms with the high school guy hung out with my brother and then i hung out with like
luke casey and like you know the people we make shit with but like i hadn't been with like an
other group of dudes in a while yeah and i was a little i was you know i wasn't tip top yeah i was
being like a little too sincere i wasn't ready for like the ball busting right like someone would
ball bust and i'd be like oh that's interesting i interesting. I was like, do you think you ball bust?
Because like your dad was kind of a ball buster and everyone's like, what are you talking about?
I've just been podcasting.
Yeah.
I've just been doing podcasts.
Dude, it's funny too.
It's funny how guys talk shit in their 30s.
Like Chudwind or Chimbor kept making fun of Chudwind because he was getting blood work done the next day.
He's like,
good luck with your blood work tomorrow, Chudwin.
Doctor's going to tell you to lay off the sodium.
Hope you enjoyed your time with salt.
It was like shit talking like that.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
Because we're just old now.
All right, should we do one more
and then get into the other stuff?
Yeah. I was like, I love being 30 you like it i love it well you look 20 too oh thanks well i've
always felt i was like i always felt eternally young oh thanks two o's i've always felt eternally
young um but i just uh it's true you just feel so much more comfortable. And I had neck pain.
I was fired up to tell people I had neck pain.
I love neck pain.
Like, dude, sorry I can't make it.
I have tons of neck pain.
And that just fired me up to be like...
Grown man excuse.
Yeah.
And it's just like...
And also the things I like to do,
like watch Sons of Anarchy nude in my bed alone.
That's like, you know, people are like, oh, this is your twenties. This is a time when you should,
you know, let loose and like, you know, take your shirt off. And in Hollywood, you know, it's like,
when you're in your thirties, you know, people are like, oh, that's cool, man. Yeah. Maybe we
could play, maybe we could go on a hike tomorrow.
I'm like, yeah, maybe we could get some pokey too.
I think it's much more my vibe.
Yeah.
It's mature.
Yeah, I love it.
It is the best.
Guys, don't fear getting older.
It's awesome.
It is the best.
It's cool.
And I'm even starting to understand the love of having a kid.
Because I'm going to be honest, when I having a kid because I'm gonna be honest like
when I saw myself I love hearing that I was like I don't get it you know did did you get it from
an early age Aaron or did it take yeah because I I'll see like my nieces and nephews I'm like
I love them you know but then I'm just like, it's just like,
I don't get it.
Like,
like why would you sign up for all that work?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You'll be a fire dad though.
I think I would.
Thank you.
Why?
What makes you hesitate?
I think I just like doing my own thing a little too much.
But dude,
you'd have like a little partner in crime and hopefully he likes,
or she likes all the same shit you do yeah hopefully you're in your ice bath with your
baby i know that's the thing i'll be like in my new words like please don't freeze the baby
you're like it's good it's good for his brown fats yeah my newborn's gonna be like crying i'll
be like i gotta go i got an ice bath at this time so like can you can you just chill here for a
second i don't know if it works this way but
you love pets so much right i think there's got to be some kind of i think i think i think if i
had a child because i i fall in love with stoked on it i think you'd look at it you'd be like dude
like i bet you yeah facetime me every day you'd be like dude look at it look at the way its cheeks
move when it laughs i think that's what it is yeah and you get fired up on like stuff like that like
you have a really good,
uh,
like you find joy in a lot of things.
So I can't imagine if you had like progeny,
you wouldn't find oodles of joy in like the little things that they do.
Yeah.
I think maybe the,
the fact that I was so resistant to it means I'll love it more.
Right.
Cause I,
I really want to have a kid and I'm like the last person who should have one,
but I'm so fired up on it. I want a kid so bad.
A little JT is going to be awesome.
Oh, he's going to be a little animal.
Just doing cleans.
Yeah. She's going to be lifting for sure.
Yeah.
Dude, I think about that.
Cause I'm not a very good athlete and you know, I have a little butt.
And I think all power comes from the butt.
When you see a guy with a big ass, I'm like, he can hit. That guy can hit.
He's got power.
So this is gross.
It's a little Marv Marinovich-y.
But when I'm dating someone, I'm absolutely thinking like,
what kind of athlete are you going to give me?
What kind of athlete are you going to give me?
Because I can give them the tenacity.
But we need somebody else's frame.
We can't use my frame.
I don't want him to be a pro athlete,
but I'd like him to be competitive at the high school level
in a couple different disciplines,
depending on their choice.
So you need someone with brothers so you can assess.
One of my favorite things about the girlfriend I had
when we started the podcast was freakish athlete.
He used to piss her off because I'd always bring it up.
And she thought I was like
not respecting her
femininity enough.
She has a funny...
Yeah, but babe,
you hit like a...
You hit like a truck.
She said every time
I would bring it up to people,
all she heard me saying
was I love my sturdy bitch.
But she had incredible...
Because her brothers
would always try to like hit her
and she grew up with like
really tough athlete brothers.
They'd always try to hit her. Her hand-eye coordination it's phenomenal Like if you ever just try to grab her arm, she's like grab your hand. Yeah, it would turn me on so much
Yeah, I'm like babe. That's amazing. Yeah, she's like stop and I'd like you're amazing. I
Was like that's amazing and she had like good good vertical good proprioception. I was like, it's gonna be badass dude
You're gonna create a piece. I was like this kid's gonna be a fucking animal you let me take him into the lab you let me work on the
head game yeah all right and then but she would get pissed she's like he's not fighting i'm like
it's good self-defense is good but then i was like it was even funny that i would even talk
about this stuff but i was like but can i have like a heavy bag in the garage you know like a
punching bag she was like yeah i was like all right well if the kid sees me hitting the
punching bag it's it's gonna get that's like how tiger woods you know he was like two and he like
his dad was just always hitting golf balls and he like climbed down from the crib and just freaking
schwacked a seven iron holy shit the dad was like holy fuck look at him he had like perfect technique when he was like two
he's a prodigy that i was i i tried to do a question like who's more of a prodigy him or
leonardo dicaprio and everyone went tiger but i think it's actually i think people were not
thinking about it enough though because like leo was in what's eating gilbert grape when he was
what like 12 or something like that and he's playing a mentally challenged person and he does
it with like incredible like uh i don't know nuance and stuff he doesn't it's not like it
doesn't feel like caricature or something yeah and then he was in this boy's life where it's him
and robert de niro the two leads and he's like good in it yeah and so i was like that's pretty
crazy but i guess he's a little bit older but like i don't know it is pretty nuts he was that good of
an actor when he was that young.
Yeah.
But I get Tiger Woods is a different thing.
You know the thing about Leo is, I think maybe his looks betray him a little bit.
Because people aren't able to appreciate his talent as much.
That's a really good point.
Because I've always, especially because of Titanic and stuff.
You're like, oh, he's a pretty boy.
He's an angel.
That's why he's a movie star. I think that's why he's kind of fuggled himself up a little bit. I mean, he's still super, super handsome of Titanic and stuff. You're like, oh, he's a pretty boy. He's an angel. That's why he's a movie star.
I think that's why he's kind of
fuggled himself up a little bit.
I mean, he's still super, super handsome.
Yeah.
But he doesn't seem worried about it.
Yeah, it doesn't seem like he's too stressed about it.
Yeah.
Which is cool.
Yeah.
Because I'm very stressed about it.
Me too.
Yeah.
I don't have the luxuries you have, Leo.
All right, I'm fighting for every inch out here.
As he puts on
headphones to bone have you heard this that when leo bones i see a lot of these like famous guys
who can get laid very easily i don't know if they're the most generous lovers because i think
it comes a bit too easy and it loses its like meaning or they lose their uh need to impress
which i think is probably a good thing to have and And then, so what does Leo do when he bones?
He puts on headphones.
And he hits a vape.
Oh, he hits a vape, too.
He hits a vape, and he puts on headphones, like noise-canceling headphones, and he only
does doggy.
Does he listen to something?
I think it's, like, noises, or it's, like, EDM.
He only does doggy?
Like, noise is, like, I heard it's doggy.
I might be adding that part.
Does he engage in, like, oral?
No, I think it's just basically like run it
through the run it through the same thing every time that seems boring yeah i don't think it'd
be too fun for the other person but i guess the story is the big takeaway right or maybe he's
really good at it maybe he gets them really into it but i just can't see him burning the calories calories for that yeah russell crowe does what he chants his own name no he does he does not say go
rusco he goes go rusco what aaron said go rusco because go rusco dude i always thought it'd be
funny if when you're having sex missionary if you smacked your own ass oh yeah like if you're on top
of someone and you're like, come on,
come on,
come on.
Just to see what the other person would do.
Yeah.
Like,
okay,
you relax,
man.
But then if you find someone who's into that and is like,
yeah,
go smack your ass.
That's a pretty cool person.
Totally.
That could be,
that could be a longterm thing.
Um,
all right. Should we do one more cue or should we hop into the next part? Uh, you have to go at cool person. Totally. That could be a long-term thing. All right, should we do one more cue
or should we hop into the next part?
You have to go at 7.30?
Yeah, maybe get into the next part.
Yeah, probably.
Okay, here we go.
Oh, you want to do an ad first?
Yeah.
Do we have time?
Should I do them after?
No, we have time.
We have time.
I'm not on that tight of scale.
I'm just going to dinner at Greg's.
But I told him I might be like 15 minutes late
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All right.
Chad, what is your B for the week?
Or who is your B for the week?
My B for the week, it was, you know what, it week, it was the sea spirit thing, but now it's...
My bad, dog.
No, no.
I had another one, actually.
Nice.
I think I foresaw our discussion.
That fish would be the beef.
Yeah.
My beef of the week is with Jordan Belfort, the real Wolf of Wall Street.
Yeah.
He just continually posts clips from the wolf of
wall street movie and i'm like dude we get it we get it yeah we get that they made a movie about
you and that's that's you dude i love this beef that's leonardo di caprio portraying you um it
doesn't need to be every video he acts like he acts like he wrote the movie well i guess he did
write the movie by living it yeah but he he acts like he wrote the movie. Well, I guess he did write the movie by living it.
Yeah.
But he acts like he had a creative hand in the actual movie.
Yeah.
It just, you know, and he's portrayed as kind of a badass in the movie, I guess.
But if you're going to, it just feels like a high school quarterback, you know, just
being like, dude, check out my trophies.
Reliving the
glory days yeah i'm like dude i get it you know like the movie's about you let's let's move on
what's the next chapter about yeah let's move you're out you're the wolf of wall street sick
dude but like it's just every time i on tiktok i'll just like be scrolling and then he'll come
up of him just like in like a split screen just like reacting to like
he's like look at this yacht scene from awful wall street that's supposed to be me
and he's like here's some factoids uh that was true that was true that was not true and i'm like
i never asked dude what a nozzle yeah and i i you know it seemed like he seems like a cool guy but
yeah you gotta stop with those videos nice Nice. Yeah, stop with the videos.
Maybe just stop.
Maybe just sit the rest of this out.
He gives business lessons.
Yeah.
I'm like, you're not a person that anyone should be taking business.
I mean, even you could say with the jobs book, he's such an asshole.
You know what I mean?
But you could be like, is that really the person you want to like base your but like
jordan belford it's like that's like 30 levels below like anyone who's taking business advice
from that guy it's like do you like know what you're doing because like because look i'm the
tough guy and i wouldn't take business lesson from jordan belford and i've done blow with jordan
belford and he's not that fun to do blow with that's my hot take and i don't like to talk shit
on people but i've done blow with a lot of people and i've done blow with Jordan Belfort, and he's not that fun to do blow with. That's my hot take. And I don't like to talk shit on people, but I've done blow with a lot of people.
And I've done blow with Bill Gates, and I did blow with Steve Jobs.
And when you did blow with those guys, their brains went in crazy creative directions.
You know what I mean?
It was fun, dude.
You were engaged.
Because, I mean, Steve Jobs on blow, that guy could talk.
That guy got fired up on some IMAX shit.
But when you do blow with Jordan Belfort, he just talks about the Wolf of Wall Street.
You're like, dude, I talked to Marty Scorsese about this.
I'm going to talk to your ass.
Just shut up, Jordan. You're like, dude, I talked to Marty Scorsese about this. I need to talk to your ass. Just shut up,
Jordan.
You fucking asshole.
Look,
live your life.
That was a good tough guy.
I saw him too,
like in one thing
where he was like,
Margot Robbie came up to me
to do like research
on why I was attracted
to my wife.
And I was like,
it's just because she was hot.
And he was like,
so proud of himself.
I'm like, you don't have to be so proud of yourself yeah like it's so cool that you like liked your wife because she was like it's like it's just like
it's not cool yeah he's giving hot takes you know he's like i mean it's cool to you know hot people
are cool but you know to brag about it like that yeah here's what's gonna happen with the economy i'm like shut up that's what i'm saying i think jordan belf you think mario scorsese and leo
are like dude that guy is annoying yes yes didn't they get that movie financed too
by like a sheik from uh the middle east who ended up like being a criminal too oh really like it
was literally like jordan belford types, like finance the movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't think they were probably crazy about him.
Do you think,
do you think he calls Leo?
He's like,
dude,
we should hang out.
Like what's going on?
He's like,
dude,
I don't want to hang out with you.
And you don't want to blame the art for kind of giving these people like a,
a different like national character that they can then like inhabit for more
money.
Yeah. But but like even with
like the i tanya movie like i think 100 tanya harding knew that her husband and his buddy were
gonna schwack the knees yeah like i think they found nancy kerrigan's uh practice schedule in
tanya harding's locker which they left out of the movie yeah i'm not sure about this stuff but i
think that's the case and then i'm like dude if i'm nancy kerrigan i'm so pissed off at that movie i'm like no don't
do like a super sympathetic look of tanya harding like she was an asshole yeah she like busted my
kneecaps yeah and then they're like no but it's fun it's fun to take a different perspective on
it yeah but i mean you know it's art what What are you going to do? Um, join a belt for it. Join a belt.
Dude.
My beef of the week is, uh, what was my beef of the week?
I had a lot of beefs too.
Um, Oh dude, my beef of the week is, uh, is with myself for, uh, but I actually think
it's pretty hilarious.
So, but it was a, I was in Miami like five years ago and this is when I was really doing
a lot of drugs and partying hard.
And when I got there, it was for Thanksgiving.
It was just going to be me and my dad.
And I get there and my dad's got like a 30-year-old buddy of his out there with him.
And I was like a little bit like you had to like bring another son.
You couldn't just hang out one-on-one with me.
But my dad, you know, it's a different dynamic.
So I totally got it.
And the guy was super cool.
But so I spent the whole week just trying to out-party the guy.
And I ended up out-partying him.
And he was like really sick one day from raging with me.
And I heard my dad on the phone go, man, JT can really party.
And I was like, hell yeah, dude.
I remember that.
But that wasn't the beat.
But when I was out there, a dude we're friends with in LA was like, hey, I'm in Miami, man.
Do you want to come out to a party?
And I was like, for sure.
So I hammered a bunch of Adderall and I went to the party and uh i get there and he has a cute sister but she has a boyfriend with her yeah but i'm like
all effed up you know and i'm like i'd love to talk to her at some point so then we're at this
he brings me to like this weird party which is like it was like someone's like college graduation
and uh they all knew each other and i was just kind of this weird guy who was there but because
i was on drugs i was like i didn't care I was like, I didn't care. I was like, this is amazing.
Yeah.
And then the boyfriend goes for a walk and then the,
the sister starts fighting with the mom about how the mom doesn't like the
boyfriend.
And she's like,
you don't like will.
And the mom's like,
I never said I don't like him.
And she's like,
you don't like him.
And she's like,
I just don't know if he's right for you.
And I'm like,
Whoa,
I can't believe they're like having this.
So I'm just standing watching them fight. And then the sister goes, and you're so like, I just don't know if he's right for you. And I'm like, whoa, I can't believe they're having this. So I'm just standing watching them fight.
And then the sister goes, and you're so, you did this.
I've been with them the whole night.
And the sister is like, and earlier you were like really dismisses him
when he talked about his job aspirations or something like that,
which wasn't the case.
And then I slid in and I go, hey, hold on.
I go, I don't think your mom did that.
I think you're being unfair to her.
And I go, hey, hold on.
I go, I don't think your mom did that.
I think you're being unfair to her.
And then the sister was like totally stunned.
She's like, hey, you seem like a nice guy,
but I don't know you.
I'd prefer if you stayed out of this.
And I was like, look, I just felt like it.
I'm sorry, did I get really loud there?
I was like, I'm sorry.
I just felt like it needed to be said.
And then they went back to fight.
I never talked to her again,
but that was like my moment of like casually flirting with her was taking her mom's side in a fight.
I don't know you.
Yeah.
She turned to me and she was so stunned
and she just like sized me up and she was like,
she went easy.
She was like, look, you seem like a nice guy,
but you should stay out of this.
And I was like, yeah, no, for sure. With my crazy manic eyes. I was like, no, you seem like a nice guy, but you should stay out of this. And I was like, yeah, no, for sure.
With my crazy manic eyes, I was like, no, no, I hear you.
I was like, let's fight about it.
Let's talk more about it.
That's awesome.
Yeah, that's my baby of the week.
Chad, who's your baby of the week?
My baby of the week is the sun. Um, you know, they say,
they say, you know what true love is? The sun. Cause the sun gives you a tan. It gives you
vitamin D. It gives you light, gives you warmth. you warmth if you let it penetrate your genitals or your b-hole it gives you
untold amounts of energy
And ask for nothing in return yeah
So that's my babe. Dude that was a fire babe. Thanks
the b-hole
That was a fire, babe.
Thanks.
The B-hole.
It's potent.
I follow this one on Instagram where the guy's like constantly, he's just like, you need to sun your balls.
Makes sense. And I'm like, really?
My favorite skepticism about the vaccine is all the dudes who are worried about dick stuff.
Yeah.
They're like, no, man, I heard it fucks with your semen.
I'm like, I'm pretty sure that's just like the number one way to scare guys yeah and we were always afraid
of that like anything you take people like are you taking that that's actually bad for your balls
yeah yeah we're very protective i had an idea i had an idea for a tweet i took it down pretty
quick because oh i like this tweet is this the one you sent to me yeah people people didn't get it
you got it you're so good at it though you got to keep going because i've always thought you
were great with those those things thanks man yeah i i people didn't get it they but the people
who do get it get it but keep going sorry what was it more like so i was i was feeling a little
bit fluish from the vaccine just like side effects really uh so i thought it'd be funny to tweet
like dude i think the vaccine
gave me covid well because some people really believe that yeah yeah like our friend today
i was talking to one of our buddies and she was like i know six people who have died from the
vaccine yeah and i literally went no you don't yeah and she's like i literally know them are
you saying they died from something else and i was was like, yeah. Yeah. I was like, I don't think they died from the vaccine.
I think we would have heard about that.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's a good joke.
Yeah.
Maybe I should have kept it up, but people were just like.
What was the joke you had?
You're spreading misinformation about vaccines.
I'm like, I'm being sarcastic.
Well, you're really good at it.
What was the joke you wrote on the day of the, uh, when the Capitol building got stormed?
I was going to say, I should have kept it up.
It was, uh, Hey dudes, I'm going streaking tonight if anyone wants to cruise.
Like just oblivious, right?
Yeah.
Just oblivious.
I had no idea what was happening.
I'm going to start tweeting more.
It was too scary though.
Cause that's all, you know know That's how people get in trouble
Yeah why don't you just
Sort of like
Why tweet
Yeah what's the upshot
I just think you're good at it
Thanks
Yeah maybe
I'll keep thinking on them
Dude my babe of the week
Is Craig Robinson
Our friend Rachel
Did her stand up show
On Saturday
Our buddy Amir
Performed on it
He had a great set
And then
Craig Robinson went up last
Which he traditionally does on a lot
of shows like when i first moved here to la he would always go last at the store or at the improv
yeah and him and jeff ross would be on stage till like four in the morning yeah and i'm like man
this guy doesn't want to go home and it's true he loves being on stage and he's such a pure
entertainer yeah like he's really fun he's got great jokes yeah but it goes beyond that like
he just sits there at the keyboard and he creates an energy and he plays music and
it goes beyond like standup.
It becomes like a full, like it's almost like a Coachella set or something like that.
And he creates this excitement that like, I know it's hard to do with just telling jokes
and you get so fired up.
And then it even hit me cause you know, I'm still busted up from the breakup and he started
playing usher
you want it bad yeah you got it bad and i literally just was like standing there by myself
and i just got so sad and i looked at the ground and then i was like wait people are going to see
you looking like this and then i was like let them see stand here just be who you are and so i did
that for another 10 seconds and i was like no no, that's weird. Just go grab a beer.
But you know, he just gets so many emotions out of you.
And again,
he went like for like,
I guess the show had a hard out,
so he couldn't go as long as he wanted,
but he just kept going and,
and,
and it just,
everyone left in such a good mood.
Yeah.
And he's just a pure entertainer.
Yeah.
Like, uh, I don't know.
He just really seems to get so much joy out of getting everybody else joyful.
Right.
And it's so special.
Right.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
And he's also his career.
He's fucking hilarious as Daryl in The Office.
He's hilarious in Hot Tub Time Machine.
He's got a great deadpan.
He's funny in everything.
But really, when you get to see him live, it's just like, I don't know.
There's no way you dislike it.
There's just no way.
I remember when I first moved to LA.
My first show at the Improv, I watched.
I was really starting to get into stand-up a little bit.
He went on stage.
I was like, when you first move to LA, you start seeing celebrities a little bit.
It's amazing.
I was like, whoa, Craig Robinson.
First show I saw, Daniel Tosh went up and then Louis C.K. followed him.
Damn.
And then some regular dude had to follow them.
Yeah.
And it broke him.
Yeah.
He went up afterwards and he was like, oh, I'm sure you guys are all disappointed.
He led with his insecurity.
And then someone was being kind of loud ordering food.
And he was like trying to do his joke.
And he's like, so I went down to the post office.
And then, you know, they said I needed to come back.
And then he goes, hey, just get the chicken wings.
Really?
He was really flustered.
He was super flustered.
I mean, it was a tough spot.
This is when Daniel Tosh and Louis were like the two most prominent comedians in the world.
Yeah. And I just remember watching him go up. i didn't know anything about simp i was like this
guy's gonna bomb maybe it was like one of those sets where you know when you like you're trying
to get club sets and he's like i got it like yeah i finally got a club set main room those
two people go before you you're just like that's so funny i've ever seen people after their set so you know they
like their first set in the main room like how'd it go they're like
yeah it goes bad well you're following the best comedians in the world yeah who have like just
boundless charisma yeah and there's a huge difference yeah you know even watching because
rachel booked an amazing show she had neil brennan eric griff Griffin, Taylor Tomlinson, um, Emily Browning, Amir, uh,
Craig Robinson, all these, like, it was like, it was like a main stage, uh, comedy room show.
And I was like, man, these people are so, you know, it's like, it's like they always say about
MMA. There's levels to this. Like when you're with those people, they've done so many sets
in front of such big crowds. It's like, they're just geniuses now right yeah yeah and i guess neil brennan's
really into ayahuasca now really interesting yeah i i was sort of like thinking like shag
you totally should you think so yeah it'd be great you'd love it i'm too scared to do it i did acid
once i'm good i feel like i've gone there maybe i don't want to rule it out forever but i'm a
couple years away i mean i love doing sh, but I'm a couple years away.
I mean, I love doing shrooms,
but I'm a couple years away from doing something.
I have a friend who's doing DMT next week
and I'm like, I can't do that.
That's too crazy for me.
I think the idea of shitting myself,
I'm probably like, I'm sorry.
No, you'd laugh about it.
Shitting myself?
Yeah, you'd make it cool.
Everyone would be fired up.
You don't think you'd find joy in that? I if chelsea handler asked me to go that'd be cool like gwyneth paltrow they're like hey you want to you want to come goop i'm like
oh i definitely it's a good caveat because i definitely do dmt with gwyneth paltrow i'd feel
safe with gwyneth paltrow yeah like how bad are things gonna go gwyneth paltrow's there you're
good she's not gonna freak out yeah Yeah. People give her flack,
but I think it's cool.
She says she blew it
with Brad Pitt.
She says he was like
the perfect boyfriend
and she just wasn't ready.
Yeah.
Which is kind of crazy
to think about.
But her husband now,
Brad Volchek,
writer from Glee,
I used to like his episodes
the most.
Hot guy.
Nice.
Got a lot of inside
baseball knowledge here.
All right,
who's your legend of the week
uh my legend of the week is jaw rule bro let's go dude yeah yeah great legends and babes this
dude thank you man yeah this is an all-time dude saturday morning i was vibing i was you know i
woke up uh woke up at like eight i was gonna go surf huntington with our dog austin who's the man
great guy uh shout out to austin and uh i was like you know
i was making you know some coffee for myself i'm like you know what to compliment this jaw rule
and we talked about this about how 50 cent broke him and it's such a shame because he had such good
songs always on time mesmerize uh i'm real with jlo all bangers and he just like he has so many good songs that just fire me up to
this day they haven't gotten old i hope he i think he's the next i think he's the keanu of rap
oh i hope he hasn't come back that'd be a nice trajectory yeah that'd be awesome because
because 50s 50s cool during get rich or die trying and then his coolness just kind of i mean when he
talks shit to people it's pretty funny but he's good at talking shit yeah but it's funny that he
went after ja rule for being soft yeah and ja rule like try to go with harder music after that
to prove he wasn't soft yeah but the the stronger move would have been to stick to what he does and
not yeah conflate his music with his toughness yeah because now 50 cent like it's like a business guy
like an actor yeah it's like he he's tough i'm sure but like his the stuff he does isn't doesn't
feel tough not the way get rich or die trying felt yeah and and like he never really came out
with like amazing songs after amazing albums after that no not at all and he let a future sellout
make him feel like a sellout yeah which is like there's some sad irony in that i know i saw jar roll i hope you come back i love
your music you crush the fashion series uh soundtrack and your scenes so monica monica
um dude my legend of the week is francisannou, the new UFC heavyweight champion.
Nice.
So he fought a great champion, Stipe Miocic, on a Saturday.
And Francis Ngannou is what you want a heavyweight champion to look like.
He looks terrifying.
Nice.
Like he's so jacked.
Yeah.
He's like 6'4".
Like he's got to cut some weight to hit the weight limit. He's 265 just all muscle and he just obliterates dudes and i think you want because
the heavyweight champion in the ufc is by the measures that we have the toughest guy in the
world yeah like the guy who can beat up every other person in the world and steve miocik was
a big strong athlete but he was kind of an everyman. He didn't look like someone terrifying.
Francis Ngannou is larger than life.
When you look at him, you're like, that's the toughest man in the world.
He can beat up everybody.
And I think you want your heavyweight champion to have that mystique.
Brock Lesnar had that.
When you looked at Brock Lesnar, you were like, you know, his big Viking ass.
You're like, yeah, that guy could fucking kill anybody.
He looks like a cartoon character.
That's what I want our heavyweight champion to feel like.
And Francis Ngannou has that.
And he's scary powerful like when he hits dudes they just like he hit over him
with this like left hand and literally like pez dispensed his head really and just like tore his
lip open he just knocks guys out really quick but he fought stipe a couple years ago and stipe
beat his ass like he had better technique francis hadn't trained his wrestling enough and he got kind of he was tough and durable but he got beat down and then he in his next fight he fought this
other guy derrick lewis who's really tough and uh he was scared he fought kind of like tentative
like the beating that stipe got him got in his head right and i thought for a second like francis
wasn't going to come back i thought like he had like some guys once they lose
their their aura of invincibility they don't know how to like recover mentally right but he built
himself back up strong like freaking bill the butcher and gangs in new york and then he knocked
out like four guys in like under two minutes and then he he came back and fought steep again and he
was a different dude he was like measured and and and calm but still a, and he was a different dude. He was measured and calm, but still a beast.
And he knocked him out in dramatic fashion.
That's awesome.
And then, I don't know.
I'm just so stoked.
And Joe Rogan talks about it all the time.
He made Joe Rogan cry, which makes me cry anytime Joe cries.
But Francis grew up in Cameroon and as a child laborer working in coal mines.
Really?
And now he's the heavyweight champ of the world.
And yeah, he's just a beast.
So I'm glad that we have,
he's up there with Tyson and Brock as like,
just like when you look at him, you're like, yeah.
But he's very sweet and soft and has like a gentle voice.
And that's actually why I messaged,
yeah, like I said, that's why I messaged Schultz
because he's going to have him on his pod
and I'm sure that'll be amazing.
Now I call him Schultz
because he responded to one of my DMs.
I mean, dude, we're friends.
But yeah, Nganou, what a beast.
Glad you came back and you're the champ now.
And Stipe, you were a great champ too, dude.
But I'm stoked that Nganou's...
Because he just looks like the fucking heavyweight champ of the world.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
What's your quote of the week?
I was going to do
Les Grossman from
Tropic Thunder,
but...
Fuck.
Dude, I'll go real quick my quote of the week and this is what I was talking about earlier I kind of misspoke what I think would be really cool for a girl to say right before sex when she first
sues your penis is for her to go oh my god thank god I thought you were gonna have a huge dick
because it's like you got that bde that big dick energy that everyone talks about
but it's nicer because you have a small penis which is better and she appreciates it
that's awesome i like that thank you man okay so this is uh this is an exchange uh between kirk
lazarus and tug speedman and trop. Me? I know who I am.
I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.
You a dude that don't know what dude he is.
Then Tug Speedman,
or are you a dude who has no idea what dude he is
and claims to know what dude he is?
Nice.
That's a great scene.
Thanks.
Dude, my phrase of the week is a movement of the week.
I got a new movement.
They're changing Verdansk in Call of Duty.
They're coming up with a new map.
Fully?
Yeah, but I want to keep the old map.
I want to keep Verdansk the same.
So that's my movement, and that's my phrase of the week for getting after it.
Keep Verdansk the same.
There's probably a better turn of phrase there
for Verdansk.
Well, in that vein, I'm going to say...
Change is inevitable, but not in Call of Duty.
Nice.
Let's keep it the same.
What were you going to say?
In that vein, I'm going to say,
let's drop in.
Let's drop in.
Nice, dude.
All right.
Second pod in this dude.
Dude, it feels good.
Yeah.
Yeah, I love it here.
Aaron, thanks for joining.
Aaron, you're a beast.
We've got to get you on mic for the next one. All right. dude dude it feels good yeah yeah i love it here aaron thanks for joining aaron you're a beast we
gotta get you on mic for the next one uh all right well i'm gonna get some air one nice dude yeah
cool i do i've been eating cereal lately nice cereal so kashi nice good stuff all right cool
dudes later dudes all right