Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 188 - Strider Joins
Episode Date: May 28, 2021What up Stoker!? Strider joins us. He's the man. Sign up for new merch here: http://www.shopcgd.com Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com.... If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion
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Ooh, yeah, slap my knee and give me some A1 sauce, baby baby and let me see you nod your fucking head stokers
what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep with chad
jt podcast um i got my dogs over here drinking some fruit smash how's that taste bros i haven't
had it yet but i'm let's get into it. Were you in Tropical Punch? Yes, sir.
This one's room temp, and it's still pretty tasty.
Never had a room temp one.
Nice.
Sipping on it real nice and deep black.
Got Aaron on the sticks.
What up?
With his Jimmy World shirt.
I mean, one of many.
Bringing the heat.
I'm here with my compadre, Jean-Thomas.
What up? Boom boom clap stokers
and we are here with the the uh engagement empresario oh dude strider wilson what up dude
massive appreach on that title what up dude fired up to be in the studio with my dogs we've been
trying to get in here for a minute dude we've had to overcome some hurdles so i'm stoked to be here dude massive hurdles i mean uh to take the stokers back i mean about
what was it a week ago now at the time of this recording about almost two weeks oh yeah uh we
were playing golf with the friday beers guys and uh i was i was sober guy during the round but you
guys were crushing some brews and and yeah stratter you went in real hard and and took
what about like eight lagers to the dome yeah some ales dude has there been some like bl smooths or
like a battery pack of freaking you know frosty cold cores like i probably could have handled
those better but i think you guys put it properly when jt eloquently said i had that thousand yard
look in my eye i had that look of just like, you know, battle torn guy of just, you know, I saw my buddies
go down.
What was going on in your head?
Dude, just thinking to myself, you know, what am I doing with my life?
It's a Monday.
I haven't gotten stuff done.
Even though you were working technically, right?
True.
It was technically, I mean, it was a blend of both.
It was mixing biz and pledge, which I love doing out on the links with my bros.
So I should have just been all positive,
but I must've just taken,
had some underlying sadness in me that,
uh,
really came out.
Cause you were pumping fire jams in the ride.
We were in your truck.
Yeah.
I mean,
it was basically almost an off-roading experience.
I,
and honestly,
I've never seen that much,
that much conflicting,
uh,
stoke and not stoke in you because you're sort of like
a beacon of
a beacon of full stoke
thank you
we were driving back I threw on
Ride With Me by Nelly and I
threw up a fist pump expecting I looked
in the rear view to see you
joining in sort of like a high five but I was driving
to keep it safe so I was fist pumping
and you were just nowhere to be seen glazed over looking out the window i like what you told me
made you feel better though as you said you got home you're pretty effed up and he went straight
to your calise and he just started tickling her back 100 true 100 true and that sobered you up a
little bit oh 100 dude just knowing that i've got my freaking rock right there dude front and you
shouldn't judge me at all I was cruising I was like what up I'm buzzed hard right now and she's
like that's cool you know she was just finishing work for the day and I was like just want to cuddle
and chill we just snuggle a little bit and like just like JT said dude little tickles dude all good range rover all wood dude what fuck dude i'm fired up now you threw
that in so hard thanks dude i've been i try to do that nowadays yeah throwing like lyrics casually
in conversation see who can catch it do you and your coral do uh froth checks like at the end of
the day you check each other's froth oh 100 dude if i'm not dude i was gonna say i may have mentioned
this on a few pods back but my freaking dank ass fiance we were just chilling posting up cooking
dinner and i like to bump some tunes midway through dinner and surprise her with like whoops
we're on a date now and she was like yo we haven't freaked in a while we fucking freaked just us two
just freaking like grinding yeah freak dancing in our kitchen it was tight you pump pd pablo
uh you know we were
pumping a little cisco we were pumping a little venga boys and um i was definitely you know it
was a great session it was a great session how do you know when to stop when i'm about to pop wood
oh you don't want you don't want to get a hard on yeah just because we're gonna eat so i'm like
let's save that for later it's interesting i almost I almost think that would be like the...
I don't think that would slow you down.
That's true.
I mean, well, the thing is, dude, you like...
And I have a tiny dink.
I can get away with it.
But you pull...
Is it called the Texas belt buckle when you flip your hog up?
I didn't know that name.
Yeah, the Texas belt buckle.
Yeah, the Texas belt buckle.
That fires me up.
Wow.
And I was just basically like...
You know, I was wearing jeans and i was like i don't want a
texas belt buckle it we're gonna sit down eat a meal we're cooking some dank um there's a
dank ass hello fresh like a chickpea um i forget what it is like maybe a masala or something like
that but um i guess my horniness was outweighed by my hunger for that meal in that moment and
just practicality it's nourishment yeah and like and if you go back to past freak dancing experiences you know
cabo tj um you know real young i remember it was that 18 and younger club that used to be in laguna
hills uh pearl pearl was that it it's club pearl exactly right i actually never went inside do you
know that i only went outside dude nice um it's too horny i remember one time a bouncer was talking shit
to me and i was kind of mouthing off just trying to like look tough in front of people
and he's like get out of here kid you got skittles coming out of your pockets
what i still don't know what yo what does that mean dude i don't know dude
i mean you're a candy ass maybe that's probably's probably it. Whoa. That's probably it.
Strider, when you pop a bone, what's the average duration? Length?
Small, dude.
Oh, duration?
I know it's small but mighty.
I'm a quick buster.
If I'm jacking off, I'll bust pretty very fast.
I'm very efficient.
I'm very good at it.
I know how to push my own buttons.
But then again, I can prolong a session, get a little more intimate if I'm really enjoying,
you know, a mature couple making love in a fun manner, you know, perhaps on top of a
desk or a piece of furniture or an exotic location.
So, yeah, I can prolong the session if I want to.
But I found, you know, during quarantine, you got to really pick and choose your moments.
And dudes that have been in a relationship a long time, you generally have something that's called the 10-minute rule.
Right.
If you're pushing it past 10 minutes, she might make it back from that jog.
Who are you talking to about that?
All dudes.
Oh, the bros know about this on comps.
Which I don't want to put names out there because I don't want to, you know, bust any names in case anything.
Do you guys talk about that?
It's a 10-minute rule.
Right. Enjoy yourself for 10 minutes if you now look you can push it longer
enjoy yourself and you know maybe your fiance there's during not quarantine time she's going
to go out for game night with friends or you know working late or something but you know jog
my fiance is quick she runs a fucking sub seven minute mile dude she's in shape bro
she could bump out two miles and be back lickety split did you guys ever race you guys were supposed to race we never did
it officially but when we went to um in october we were doing this thing where we were running a
mile together every day which was pretty cute and then one day we're running and i surprised her and
i was like let's just race back to the house and we raced she fucking beat me no she did yeah bro
she dusted you she did it was close i just peaked i spiked
right there was it full sprint yeah dude i was fucking trying but you were tired that was at the
end do you think if it was the initial 100 jt thank you for bringing up that point dude i agree
with that statement because here's the thing she's got way better cardio and durability than i do
but i do believe that if it was like we're just going 100 meters
no you know warm up as you will whatever do your warm-up but i'm not tired from running a mile
i might be able to take her so if you pop an nrb a no reason boner around your gf um what's sort of
the protocol like do you say hey i got an nrb uh how do you want proceed? Or do you sort of like say, hey, I've got an NRB.
I'm going to go watch History Channel and try and get this, you know.
Right.
Although that may prolong the NRB.
I was going to say, if it's like an adventure quest show, it might prolong, yeah.
But, you know, if it's something I've seen before, it's chill.
Does she say like, hey, respect.
I'm glad that you're functioning down there.
But, you know, go watch some Bob Ross bob ross painting dude that's a fantastic question i'll usually just be like yo
heads up um i'm rocking wood right now you want to use this puppy should we use this puppy it's
usually what i'll say sometimes in the morning you know you wake up with a morning wood
technically an nrb i guess but it's just you know the body's flushed and ready to go in the am
and i'll wake up and be like we're going to use this puppy right now or what is this one i'll basically be like uh
for one or for two as i'll ask the question because sort of like you know like a hostess
but for my dong when sitting down at dinner where like you show up early and you're like oh table
for just one today or is someone going to be joining you i'll sort of give it that treatment
sort of a dining treatment you know oh i have a i'm rocking uh wood right now is it going to be
for one or for two and then she'll be like oh you know i got to a i'm rocking uh wood right now is it going to be for one or for
two and then she'll be like oh you know i gotta actually hop in a work meeting it's going to be
for one i'll be like all right tight and then you know not every so often i'd say somewhat
frequently you know it's a tight relationship been working obviously ain't broke don't fix it
a lot of times it's a bone for two dude hell yeah just hop in a black angus and make a prime rib oh you know i've never been in a black
angus what i've never been i've always wanted to go to a black angus it's so good to their bread
100 to their bread like i don't know what the bread is but when you put that bread with butter
and then a steak and then you get some some mashed potatoes and like some fucking uh broccoli i love primary with algae oh dude
absolutely and a horseradish um cream dang i'm i'm gonna pop an nrb right now i think actually
what gives you i guess and there's a no it's called a no reason boner because you can't figure
it out but i always get no reason boners on planes is it something with the altitude oh for sure yeah
yeah it's gotta be right people get horny on planes too jack shu everything's heightened on
a plane so true the imminent death perhaps the air particles i mean i'm not i'm not a scientist
but i think when the air particles are more dense um it tingles the tip of your cock a little bit more right it's a little
bit of a vacay too it's true you're going on vacation you're automatically horny but then
even on a business trip if i'm traveling for business which i've never done in my life
i bet you i'd still get pretty horny but maybe to crack a deal i'd love to travel for business
like where business but like you know not even like comedy business but like business business
and get to wear an outfit have a suitcase best seen and up in the air is when sam elliott presents
him with his flyer flyer card george clooney comes back remember that scene that's the best scene
it's definitely not the best scene in that movie there's a good montage they use a great
ass song in that movie yeah um that little folk song yep yeah i love that song i'm gonna look it up is that um
i think the biggest the reason i get nrb is on airplanes um tomato juice what's up you drink
tomato juice on planes no i do but i just try to stop my mom used to do that everyone used to do
that dude why did they do that ginger ale tomato j dude i don't know why uh i go with water i used
i usually i used to get diet cokes or uh yeah i used to drink tons of brewskis actually but i'm
like you i have a small bladder and so i remember one time i won the southwest flight i think i was
i was just going from like because i went to college in san jose i was going to like san jose
to la i think quick little flight yeah super quick but i housed like two you know those big schooner beers at the bar absolutely housed a couple more
beers on the plane and i was in the middle seat and i was you know the guy next to me was pissed
because i had to you know i had to piss like five or six times um and uh he's like dude respect for
being hammered but like you gotta you know you gotta
manage your lizard a bit more and that really stuck with me even though i was so hammered for
sure yeah those things that'll happen dude it's crazy what the mind locks on to you know crazy
one-time off experiences you never know totally yeah i think i get nrbs on planes because
it's i finally disconnect from my phone.
And that allows more stillness to come into my mind.
And that's when erotic thoughts kind of flow.
For sure.
Yeah, and then I just rock hard.
Nice, dude.
Yeah.
Or the sound of people chewing.
Oh, you like that?
It gives me NRBs, yeah.
I guess that's a CRB chewing reason boner.
Incredible reason boner.
For sure.
More dude.
Dank.
Is that the song? This isn't it it's like more um oh yeah it's more angsty or not angsty but like it's faster yeah it's like in moody it's like a more of a moody song and i think it's a female singer
no dude i think you're thinking of the band you're thinking of the one where it's like... You're thinking of the one where it's like...
There's like voices in it.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, but they're like authoritative voices.
Oh, fuck.
Now we gotta know.
You know, if they didn't get George Clooney in that movie,
they wanted Steve Martin.
Ooh.
Interesting.
Cloon Dog killed in that, though. It's the first time I've ever said Cloon Dog. That is kind of him. Oh. Interesting. Clune Dog killed in that though.
It's the first time
I've ever said
Clune Dog.
That is kind of him.
I like that.
Just a dude
living that itinerant
lifestyle.
Hooking up with hotties.
He hooks up with
what's her face?
Vera Farmiga.
Oh yeah.
Vera Farmiga.
Isn't the girl
on that HBO Max show?
Anna Kendrick.
Anna Kendrick.
I think this is the song.
I think it's called
Help Yourself.
It's by sad Brad Smith.
Are you sure?
Here we go.
Here we go.
Is that it?
This is it.
Is that when him and Bearfarm make you go to the high school?
Yep.
Okay.
It's great.
That's a pretty song.
When you guys were wondering
what I was thinking in my head,
having that thousand yard stare
after eight fucking ales on a Monday.
Yeah.
The fuck am I doing with my life, dude?
Yeah, this song's not good.
I should have just been more in the moment and realized.
And you were just looking over the hillside,
and you were just like, damn, dude, I am hammered.
Yep.
I didn't even know my bros were right there with me.
Did you have a headache?
Yeah.
I was feeling nauseous.
I never get nauseous in cars.
Yeah.
You don't get drunk that much.
Bro.
What, dude?
You don't get drunk that much. I mean, I get drunk that much i mean i get i'm not trying to
like throw shade at you or like dude it feels pretty messed of you to say that right no you
drink consistently and you handle your alcohol well but you've always had a good barometer for
for when to pull back true which i've always not really admired. I feel you. I think, I think everyone always kind of wanted you to push it more.
Let us see,
let us see you at annihilation.
Let us see you without any sort of a filter.
Yeah.
I do like to be in the driver's seat,
but I'll tell you this,
but it's good in retrospect.
It's good.
Exactly.
It is nice.
You don't want to get too blacked out and who knows what, um, what, what, what would be, what I would tell you this. But it's good. In retrospect, it's good. Exactly. It is nice. You don't want to get too blacked out and who knows what.
What would be what?
I would be a demon.
Is that what it is?
A demon within me would come out and take over the world.
Literally, I get sick.
I get sick before anything else.
Yeah, you popped out of you once.
Yep.
And it was horrible for you, right?
It was actually not bad.
I got sick.
I threw up because I didn't really feel the booze in me.
I think it leveled it out.
So I was like, oh, I can just keep drinking.
And it was at Swallows Day, which is like this festival in San Juan.
And you just house fucking margaritas.
So I was just housing margaritas and just really not feeling it.
And then that night I was like, oh, yeah, I just probably drank eight margaritas.
That's going to make me feel sick.
But I think that's a big reason why I've like, um, that was one of the, I stopped partying
for a while after one of those swallows day parades.
Those things can take it out of you.
I took it too far.
And it's kind of a, it's like everyone from your past seeing you.
So there's always like sort of a, um, a performance review of your life, but then at a party setting
and it's like, what is this?
Everyone's kind of catching up after a year or two after like how's this person doing they're like oh he just vomited
everywhere yeah he's kind of crushing dude exactly yeah exactly yeah if you can actually
have goldman sachs guys fucking crushing it yeah he's just got a lot of heat on him in him
it's a fun party it's it's a pretty fun party, though. We went to Cabo. You're always kind of like the palm tree in the wind.
You know, it's just sort of, I could always go to you for reassurance.
Yeah.
Any question I had, any historical fact, I knew I could rely on you for that.
100%.
I think you don't yeah you need that in a
squad and i remember and i like that those memories i remember pointing to strictly we're pretty
hammered coming out of mandala down there i think mandala next to l squid row we were just talking
about that with our last guest heavy miller yeah i remember when they fucking um that gang took over
the biker gang took over mandala at the bachelor for all's bachelor party that was pretty the
mongols they fucking changed the vibe in there but um that was cool though like you'd go in the
bathroom and they would tell you when you could use one of the stalls because you can't just roll
in on because they're like afraid that another gang might uh ambush them so i sat there and
super respectfully i was like thank you for letting me use the restroom then i came out i
was like thank you again have a good rest of your night and these were the prospects prospects watch the bathroom yeah while the while the heavy hitters
take heavy shits yeah that's my plan b for life by the way become a prospect dude you'd be a killer
at it you think i would yeah you already got an experience with russian a frat i feel like they're
probably pretty comparable yeah i gotta imagine joining the mongols is less intensive than joining a frat yeah and i dominated my pledge ship not to not
to flex but um hey dude just telling the truth bro yeah dude truth wants to be out there talk
about taking your cock out and putting on the table you're looking at the guy right here um
yeah dude you're loyal what do you mean you rip it on bikes what do i mean yeah uh i uh like if your cock's on the
table like someone could chop it cock out what's up you pulled your cock out yeah that's awesome
well they they do a ritual you know where they spank you with the with the paddle i just pulled
my cock out whoa that'll change things and it really threw a wrench in it and uh and so they didn't really
know what to do at that point really kind of like dominated them and they're like dude you should be
treasure and i was like not yet what are the origins of the paddle i've never seen them in
any other context uh i think it comes from uh ancient greece checks out melee weapon or was it always used for uh male bonding i think
i think in philosophical discussions i don't know oh like socrates would just wail on aristotle's
butt yeah interesting and they'd be like you know he'd be like is there is there objective morality
and spank him and he'd be like yes sir thank you that was And spank him, and he'd be like, yes, sir, thank you.
That was a good call.
You can tell you're an erudite.
Lost chapter of the Socratic method.
Yeah.
Is Socrates just wailing butts?
Yeah, that's, they're like, that's why, you know.
He kind of did do that, right?
Yeah, they always talk about Socrates was kind of like annoying to people,
you know, because he'd ask the Socratic method.
He'd be like, well, why do you, and questions he questions he knew the answer to you just pulling it out of them he's
like well why do you think that you know truth exists when truth is not
inherently discoverable and yeah and people would get annoyed but I think the
other thing is he slapped their ass as he said it and that's maybe where it
came from you have to ask a question like,
thank you.
May I have another,
that's still like Socratic method.
Right.
Yeah.
May I have another question?
Right.
But also may I have another,
you know,
ass slap?
For sure.
That's awesome.
Maybe it bonds the memory too.
You know,
with the sensation of your ass getting slapped,
it creates a memory.
Yeah.
Couples together to really implant. That's how you really sensation of your ass getting slapped, it creates a memory. Yeah, couples together to really implant.
That's how you really sort of get a solid code. Because you associate pain with it.
Implanting on people.
Yeah.
Yeah. Like, do you remember when your Khaleesi first implanted in you?
I remember the first moment we saw each other, 100%. So maybe when we imprinted, I should say.
Imprinted, is that it?
That's from Twilight, imprinting.
When fucking Bella's daughter imprints with Jacob,
I was like, dude, this is just.
So weird.
And the CGI eyes on the baby,
it's just one of the worst things I've ever seen.
I laughed out loud.
I gotta give deep respect to T. Lautner though,
because they were gonna cut him after the first one. They were dude you're not hot enough to be jacob you're
out we're gonna get the main guy from the covenant he's got six inches on you 40 pounds of build
so what did lotner do did he sit at home and go oh i lost my big shot no dude he went straight to
the gym he got straight on some hgh put on pounds of rock, and he came back looking like a werewolf hunk.
Now, should he have taken some acting classes?
No.
No, he shouldn't have.
No.
It's not what they were knocking him for.
It's not what they needed him for.
It was the body, dude.
He did the right thing.
He did what a good actor does, and he put on some muscle.
That just fired me up, dude.
His body was ridiculous, dude.
He was yoked up, dude.
I think in every walk
of life putting on muscle will never hurt you we'll fix things i mean look at sam harris dude
i used to see him at equinox the guy's moving weight i mean he's doing a little too much arms
but he's strong he's at equinox the one on sepolvita what is he doing squats no he's always
doing like tricep press downs and stuff interesting but i went up to him and i was like what up dude
i was like you're a beast and he was like thanks man that's fucking sick nice dude yeah yeah but you know he's
big all these you know all these smarty pants is now they all do like yitsu and muay thai and whatnot
aaron's asleep um sorry guys i really need to eat something are you hungry? do you want a fruit smash?
do you want to eat right now?
I'll get you something
dude
dude I love
one of my favorite things
in the world
is watching someone fall asleep
when you see someone
fighting the fight
my dad used to call it
fighting the battle
they're just like
when they're doing this
dude Aaron
are you falling asleep?
have we not
talked about our cocks
and
is that what
is that what made you go to Sydney more cock talk?
Boner talk?
All right, we'll bring it back.
Is it because we said cock instead of dong?
True.
Yeah, we got a little more.
Yeah, that's X-rated.
Yeah.
I'm trying to embrace that a little bit more.
Just that they say embrace your shadow,
and I think being a cock guy is my shadow a little bit.
I think so, too.
I don't want to go full cock guy.
I just want to start saying the word.
It's a pretty sweet word it always it always uh scared me like the the the ferocity of
it the the you know it's just you know two c's and a k and it's just hit your cock there's no
gentle way to say it you can't be like cock it all sounds harsh yeah and that's not really my steeze. Cock. You know, like I would never, you know, present my cock.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say.
Well, like a cat.
A cat presents itself.
Right.
Right?
Yeah.
And a cat is, in history, more of an effeminate creature, even though there are fierce and majestic beings.
though they're fierce and majestic beings.
But you wouldn't present your cock in sort of, I guess,
the way we were talking about it,
it's more of a masculine way of saying it, I think.
At least the way we in society present masculine qualities. Yeah, it's probably the strongest way you can mention your dick.
Is there a stronger way that we could possibly think of,
like my fucking penis?
But then you have to say fuck.
The fuck's doing most of the work there.
That seems like an uptight like Frenchman.
I think you could give it like an extra, you could give it a non-sexually related title.
Like you could call it like The Man Maker or like.
Oh, yes.
Like The End of Days or something like that.
I think an apocalyptic kind of.
Good call. Greenland with Gerard Butlerler is my dick this guy doing shot caller oh really this is falling shot caller
is a pretty good uh it's pretty solid yeah but dude that's the name of your my cock yeah it's
also a good cock the shot caller yeah that's a really good name for your cock that's what what
do you think's like what do you think's the thing that you're you're most right about me yeah dude probably that i suck at cod dude for sure
i suck dude you're bad at the mini-map bro i heard i heard you had some mini-map issues the other
night every night but yeah i got called out hard your bro came down on me pretty hard that's what
you told me i My brother told me.
I'm like, bro, I don't.
I'm like, dude, I'm not doing it on purpose.
Like I'm telling you, I struggle with this.
You were supposed to pick them up or something?
I was supposed to drop money at a buy station.
But since the redo of the map, I like memorized where the buy station was, but it had moved.
And then they're all like, well, what the fuck are you doing?
Like, just look at the mini map.
We're all like standing around it.
That's how you remember where the buys are?
Yeah, just have it memorized.
Whoa.
I mean, they change basically by loadout,
but we were by one and it's like always
in this back wall at Fire Station,
kind of up by Promenade West.
But it moved over and like, yeah, if I was,
I just sucked and I should have glanced at it,
but I was just like looking at the thing and I'm like,
and then like I got lost going back to it
and took too long of a route.
But there was no harm, no foul.
I mean, we got the money dropped.
It was just a little closer than we would have liked.
Dude, my KD this week, 0.86.
Baby, let's go.
I finally downloaded the app so I can keep tabs on it.
Dude, I've been dropping.
Dude, yeah, yeah. You've been more in the thread.
I've been on it.
Let's go.
I've been on there.
We got some drops last night.
It was tough.
I switched my controller layout, dude.
I went BP tactical, bro.
Huge. Now I just got to click down on. It was tough. I switched my controller layout. Did I went BP tactical, bro? Huge.
Now I just got to click down on my right thumbstick to slide instead of
hitting B and I can do that little streamer duck down move to like go
prone and shoot guys.
I think it's really going to up my Katie.
That's a huge key.
If you want to drop bodies is you have to stay moving when you're in a
one-on-one gunfight.
And I don't do that.
I lock on and I just fire until one of us is down.
But if you want to win those 50 fifties gotta you gotta be on the move i've been playing weeks
drop it sorry to bring that no you're good i'm playing weeks everyone's like you fucked up dude
yeah fuck you dude no you're good you've been busy you do another stuff chilling dude yeah
i've been shredding i've been shredding
i've been sending my nuts oh you send your nuts right how'd that go today yeah um dude it's good
it's actually part of my legend um but i you know i gave i gave him a 15 minute just soak um
i'm not sure if i feel anything, but it's nice.
Wait,
what is this?
You've been sending your nuts?
No,
I've just been,
I've been sunbathing nude.
Oh,
sunning your nuts.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
I thought you meant like you sent your nuts,
like you went to a sperm bank and like fucking delivered a nut.
Oh,
I do do that.
Oh,
you did?
Yeah.
How tall are you?
Five,
nine. Dude, you're at the cutoff. Yeah. If you're shorter than that, they don't let you do, you do? Yeah. How tall are you? 5'9".
Dude, you're at the cutoff.
Yeah.
If you're shorter than that, they don't let you do it.
Really?
Yeah.
I think so.
Why?
There's just a lot of eliminating factors.
I think college degree, height, hair color.
There's just certain jizz that's more in demand.
They want elite jizz.
They want the best of the best.
You want that good cream.
I mean, you know,
life is harsh
and there's a lot of systems
like that where they let you know
that,
or a lot of things like that
where they let you know,
like, look, brass tacks, man.
People just want a certain thing.
Totally.
It's why it's like,
you know.
It's kind of refreshing, though.
Yeah.
It's why sports are important.
You got to go out there,
you got to get your ass
kicked a little bit.
You got to be like,
this guy can get from point A to point B,
and you got to just deal with that.
And how are you going to deal with it?
Are you going to get faster?
Are you going to train harder?
Are you going to quit?
You're finding out who you're made of out there on fields, dude.
Our buddy Noah, dude, his dad coached a college woman's team,
basketball team, and he would go out there and play,
and he was like, dude, they were too physical for me.
And he's like, they were kicking my ass.
And I was like, so what'd you do?
He's like, dude, I got good at catch and shoot and i learned how to like
come up behind and you know knock the ball loose on d he found a way there you go you got to find
a way and you and you you have your way everyone has a different way
yeah baron what's up guys do you want me to get you a little bite dude
I can sneak out there real quick
yeah dude we should postmate something for you
what are you thinking burrito
tacos
we were trying something with the baby
trying to wean her off of a swaddle
did not work
I only got 4 hours last night
I'm at 17% recovery on my whoop
it's pretty bad is that an app yeah
taking vitamin d dude that's what i did today i and i feel actually good i feel
uh i feel good but yeah my i got four hours sleep and yeah my recovery is in the red 17
you need those nights yeah it can't be 80 plus after yeah sometimes you just gotta it's a good
night you gotta have some fun burn some steam off and let yourself get into a little bit of a
unhealthy state for the overall benefit of your mental health totally worth it yeah let me ask
you this hit me were you not sleeping because you were restless or you're not sleeping because you were
wrestling in the sheets is this too much to ask uh let me just say because you're not recovering
as quickly you know look i may be married but i ain't dead i can see the glint in a bro's eye
when there's a glint in a bro's eye.
Do you have sex?
You don't have to say it.
But we all know.
To quote Chris Ostriker from American Pie,
I want to say I had a great night.
Oh, yeah.
Let's go, dude. Let's go, dude.
You know, I was so dumb when I saw that movie.
I was like, oh, so Ostriker didn't have sex.
Yeah, I thought that too.
I thought that too.
And all my friends were like, no, he's being a nice guy,
and he's not outing the woman he loves in their special moment.
You guys thought he never had sex?
No.
I saw when they woke up naked on the dock or whatever.
I was like, oh, they just cuddled naked.
I thought the exact same thing.
I took him at his word.
Yeah, I was like, kind of weird, Ostriker, but good for you. Yeah, they just like cuddled naked I thought the exact same thing I was like I took him at his word yeah I was like kind of weird awestranger but good for you yeah I was like they just had like a really intimate hang dude when he when he's hanging with the college chick
and at the beginning of the movie he's like something about the spring he's first time he's
like so what's your major yeah that's cool yeah something about the springtime you know just
the air it's just like so nice.
And she's like,
yeah,
yeah,
for sure.
And he's like,
suck me beautiful.
Oh my God.
He like tries that line.
Suck me beautiful.
That movie's so good.
He was great in that part.
Chris Klein, he's good at playing a dumb ass is that number two no it's number one yeah tell them to say that i'm misunderstood too
sun also rises the guy he's like he's like i can never be with lady brett and i thought it
was just because he was in the friend zone but it's because he's impotent from war oh i haven't seen this in his book
that's why i mean i haven't seen the book on any shelves either
it's one with the bulls running the bulls pamplona yeah there's a lot of bull fighting a lot of food
a lot of feelings that's that's the hemingway mix um Dude, I asked people to submit some articles.
This wasn't an article, but a big fan of ours, Maria,
want to know, can you guys discuss the whole Karen thing?
I find it so derogatory towards women.
Do Karens have to be white and entitled?
I was attacked on social media today
because I said the whole Karen thing is getting old
and tired and boring.
I was attacked by mostly women.
I don't know. Look, look dude i just always say be the change you want to see in other people i'm not i don't i don't really ever say someone's being a
karen because it just feels kind of like trite but um just don't say it yourself right i don't
i'm yeah if other people want to do it whatever but i think I think it's like, I don't know.
I don't know that many Karens in my own life.
Do you know any Karens?
Well, you know what?
This must strike extremely close to home for you because your name is like representative of like an entire type of person.
The male Karen?
Yeah.
You kind of have to carry that weight every day.
Yeah.
But I'm not offended by it i'm sort of like i think i think if you're if you're named karen you know like just like
your name chad you embrace it and you rise above it you know i'm not gonna fight it i'm not gonna
complain about it i'm not gonna say like hey like you know i don't really don't appreciate that
i'm just gonna stand tall and be like you said the change i want to see in the world you know and just you know be like oh chad
chad who are you and you just sort of stand there as a beacon of stoke and then people are just
thrown off they're like what and you're like yeah so i think karen's can do that i love that dude i
think that's the best mentality and i love i know that that's who you are too like you really don't let it like make you feel any different about
who you are as a chad yeah but i get offended a little bit when someone's like oh what a chad
right and then what that chad is doing doesn't seem to overlap with what the chads i know are
doing yeah that does kind of grind my gears a little bit yeah i i like i like coming from a
place where the odds are against you a little bit the underdog the underdog yeah and you can overcome that i mean
on dating apps i've for sure faced some discrimination you know one girl texted me
she's like normally i would never text a chad but here i am and i'm like i was like well i just got
one question for you what up yeah and it's's like, if you already have a cool name,
like Strider's a cool name.
Very cool.
Huge responsibility.
True, you got to live up to the name, yeah.
It's like a boy named Sue type thing, you know, Johnny Cash.
Did you ever feel pressure being Strider?
Yeah, it was like everyone would be like, oh, that's sick,
or especially on sports teams, people thought I'd be fast.
And I was actually decently fast.
It's like if you're on a soccer team, you have to be the striker if your name's Strider.
100%.
You got to be the number nine.
Yeah.
And then people are always like, oh, Lord of the Rings.
Number nine.
Yeah, Messi's number 10.
So I think it's 10.
No, I think 10 is your best midfielder.
I think nine is your striker.
Ah.
Yeah, so I feel like if you have a cool name like that or like Sylvester or something
yeah Sylvester you should like be a detective or something yeah it's like when people like
big up you in front of everyone they're like this guy's the man this guy's awesome he's
he's the shit you're gonna love him and then you come in it's like you're already kind of like
you know or if it's stand-up people like this is the funniest guy the funniest comedian of all time
then you come out and it's like all right now I really like, this is the funniest guy, the funniest comedian of all time.
Then you come out and it's like,
all right, now I really got to live up to it.
As opposed to if someone was like,
yeah, this guy's all right.
And then you come out and you overcome it.
I think I find it's much easier in social situations to dominate in that respect.
Not that I'm all about domination,
but just, you know,
I think overcoming the odds i guess is is yeah i was saying we were talking about this under promise over perform baby yeah it's nice it's
like sandbagging in golf you don't want to sandbag no no you don't sandbag but then isn't it so
badass to call your shot like the babe just point up up and be like, I'm going to fucking go out and do this.
Totally.
Totally.
It's cool.
I used to do it in Little League and just strike out.
Of course.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And I thought that was even funnier.
That is hilarious.
Yeah, it was gold.
Yeah, it's like the best move to do.
Dude, I was thinking too, like there is something to like culture is pretty intelligent.
Like if you were going to pick a name for an annoying woman
karen is kind of it is great and yeah i wouldn't want that to be uh boked from culture like if
they were linda linda might work but karen it's the k again it's the k it's the k yeah the k
the k is this lady's name karen that wrote in maria but she's just doing it for the ladies
yeah yeah but i mean i think it typically is by definition like supposed to be an entitled white
woman um that's like what a karen is yeah that's the cultural that's the zeitgeist uh
did you see that italy is gonna have in their defunct house of Safoy? That's like their,
their monarchy.
It's been defunct for like 75 years,
but the heir to the throne right now is a 17 year old Instagrammer named
Vittoria,
princess Vittoria.
She's going to be their first female leader in a thousand years.
Does she inherit something or she just like,
kind of,
does she get to live in a palace did
that'd be tight no no one has any clue what it means at all she get like pasta for life she
probably just has a pr rep who just made this up and it was a good call by that pr rep yeah yeah
i think this is kind of a cynical move by the monarch right like they're looking for some pubs
so they're like all right we're gonna take this 17 year old internet star and make her the leader yep yeah it's i i i like the
move but it reads as cynical to me a little bit yeah dude we should do that for california like
we're inheriting a title for california yeah california could definitely use a monarch yeah
for sure there was a dude who declared himself emperor of the united states like in the 1800s
really forget his name.
Who was that?
I forget.
It was like some dude.
And I think he was in San Francisco actually.
Yeah.
That's all I know about it.
Well, dude, sounds like a great episode of History is Dank at some point.
That's what I'm talking about.
Dude, the lettuce is looking good, by the way.
Yeah.
Dude, it's like, it's really filling in.
Yeah.
I conditioned it today.
Nice.
What do you use?
Pantene?
I use Redken.
R-E-D-K-E-N.
Nice. I use NoFri no frizz it's great product
yeah the way i do it my my move is shampoo and then put the conditioner in and leave the
conditioner in so like shampoo wash out then just leave the conditioner and while i take the rest of
my shower then take the conditioner out last nice dude it dude. It's a good move. What do you guys think about J-Lo and Ben?
I love it.
It's amazing, right?
Wait, they're back?
Yeah, and do you see how good he looks?
He looks great.
After two weeks of being on her beauty regimen,
he's back, baby.
Let's go.
But dude, you showed me the funniest Ben Affleck thing,
and people were trying to roast him for it,
but I think it's 100% exactly what every person wants to do in that
situation but ben is a little more entitled to it because of his success and his you know stature
and whatnot but what was it that he did so he matched with a girl on raya so yeah and she
didn't believe that he was it was him she was like this this has got to be a uh uh what's it
called prank or a catfish it's got to be a catfish. So she unmatched him.
And he sent her a video on like Instagram,
like a DM being like,
Naveen, why'd you unmatch me?
It's me.
That's hilarious.
It's awesome, yeah.
Dude, I mean, speaking of relationships, bro,
Mulaney and Olivia Munn.
I saw that.
What?
Yeah, bro, you didn't hear that?
What?
Yeah, Mulaney and Olivia Munn are together, bro. What? Yeah. No way. and uh olivia munn i saw that what yeah bro you didn't hear that yeah yeah millennia and olivia
munn are together bro what yeah no way oh so that was quick so that's why that's the deal that's why
the wife was kind of a and olivia munn's got that public she does that she's got that i'll take your
man energy she she does you know who else she dated will forte Forte. What? I love Will Forte.
Oh, wow.
Man, she's really run the gamut.
Yeah.
And I looked deeper into this.
She's like, yeah, I've been obsessed with John Mulaney for a while.
That's what my fiance said.
Yeah.
And met him at a party in 2014 and was messaging him.
Oh, no.
Sent him an email being like, I want to hang out with you guys.
Oh, no.
And he never responded. When he was engaged.
Oh, Mulaney's coming into like a bad boy. He he's a bad boy he's coming into a bad boy transition
dude that's too much of a burden to have to be the good guy all the time yeah like he was so
perfect you know what i mean i'm sure there was a part of him like his shadow side that was like no
this needs to come out like i need people to see me for who i actually am yeah and like i'm a dirty
dog i like to party and i like to you know carouse and and now it's all coming to the front but it's gonna make for
an interesting hour for sure he's a cock guy he might be saying cock he probably says yeah he
probably not on one of those like you know kids things he does on netflix yeah yeah that'd be
interesting yeah yeah that could be too much yeah but i think maybe the juxtaposition might be too
heavy that's my that's my artistic perspective
on it maybe yeah maybe in his next uh uh special it'll be like the cock box special or something
right you know john mulaney cock box yeah i bought tickets for that that would be he's gonna you
couldn't put a price tag high enough on that ticket for me not to go to that show that'd be
an incredible brand transition he's wearing a leather jacket with a white beater
underneath it a mesh shirt yeah or a bespoke suit with just his cock dude did you hear the other
thing about mulaney the comeback cock oh i like that they say mulaney's doing crossfit now what
he's been working on matt fraser yeah he's put on like 30 pounds of muscle no yeah they say he's
front squatting like three bills damn dude i heard he's gonna be like 30 pounds of muscle. No. Yeah, they say he's front squatting like three bills.
Damn.
Dude, I heard he's going to be the quarterback for the Packers.
Oust Rogers.
Is he going to take Rogers' job from him?
He could do it.
Oh, dude, he's throwing balls on a rope.
They say you've never seen an effortless release
until you've seen Mulaney sling it.
Yep.
Here's my take on the situation.
Maybe I'm naive.
Mulaney went into rehab.
They were on the rocks uh it seemed like
at the time he was going into rehab he was breaking off the marriage because she unfollowed him that
was a big part of the story she unfollowed him everyone's like what's going on here and then so
uh this is how i just this is how i think it went down he went into rehab saw olivia munn saw that the relation was on the rocks she hit him up and she's
like hey i'm here for you if you need anything like you've got oh she caught him when he was
vulnerable caught him when he was vulnerable and uh you know when he's when he's out of rehab
embracing you know buying leather and buying some boots she hit him up and he's like yo let's do this
dude it is true too when you're at your, there's certain people you love that you don't feel comfortable
reaching out to.
And then there's other people who you do feel comfortable reaching out to.
Like there's some people you're more okay with seeing you like that.
Yeah.
And yeah, maybe, maybe his relationship with his wife wasn't one where he felt like he
could be that person.
Not to cast any dispersions on her.
I mean, this is all speculation that wouldn't even make you a bad person anyways, but, but it's funny.
I was talking on comms with the guys about it and all the guys were kind of
ripping Mulaney. Really? Yeah. For,
and this was before the Olivia Munn information came out.
But then I was thinking, I have a friend who I don't,
I don't keep in touch with,
but we went to junior high together and we,
I ran into a mutual friend of that we both have. And I was like, Oh,
how's he doing? And they're like, Oh, he's back in rehab. And I was like, Oh, that's, that's, that have and i was like oh how's he doing and they're like oh he's back in rehab and i was like oh that's that's that's sad i'm sorry
to hear that and they're like well what happens is he gets into relationships he doesn't know how
to get out of them and so he basically his addiction kicks up so that he has like a reason
to break up so he basically goes to rehab because he doesn't want to break up with someone so that's
how he does it gotcha and then that made me think like i was i started drawing connections i was
like oh maybe that was the milaney thing yeah dude it was the pete davidson
tour he got that big dick energy from davidson dude just started slinging it dude yeah both
those guys are cock guys yeah big cock guy big cock yeah so guys here he doesn't have a penis
davidson he's got a cock yeah yeah did you know there's 24,000 pounds of garbage
on Mount Everest
someone sent that article to us too
people leave oxygen tanks there's bodies up there
it's really a huge huge bummer
do they count the bodies as part of the weight
no but there's bodies up there
dude if I could choose a way to go out
it'd be frozen on Everest
that'd be a good way to go.
As I was kicking the bucket,
I'd throw out two shakas.
Shaka what-ups?
Yeah, so it'd be like the shaka shaman.
That'd be sick as hell.
Or what's the other?
Shaka sherpa, yeah.
That'd be sick as hell, dude.
Wouldn't that be sick?
Dude, clean that trash up
and then just go up there and shaka what-up.
Dude, actually, I found out recently that uh oh nice dude get it big time oh big time hit um dude i heard recently that the way we do burials in our culture with
metal caskets and all the embalming horrible for the environment really whoa yeah you're putting
like uh let me get the number up here.
It leaves an Olympic swimming pool
of formaldehyde per square acre.
What are the repercussions of that?
I don't know, dude.
But here's what she's saying is the key.
We got to start burying ourselves
in burlap sacks.
Just put your body in a sack
and just throw it in the ground.
What about cremage?
Or cremage.
But why do we need a metal casket?
It is a little ornate, right?
Yeah.
But then again, the burlap sack thing, to transition to that, I don't know if I could
bury a loved one in a burlap sack.
So here's what I'm thinking.
You do the whole ceremony with a casket.
And then once everyone leaves, you roll the casket over,
drop them into the dirt, burlap sack and all.
Right.
And then you just use the casket for the next person.
So you keep the ritual, but you don't,
because dude, that's a lot of metal to be putting in the earth.
Yeah.
Like that's a big use of resource right there.
If we're putting everybody in metal and we're sticking them all under the earth,
if you think about every dead body under the earth right now that's in a metal case,
I don't know, dude.
That's like, is that too much steel?
Could we use that to build a home for the homeless?
Or you could just make caskets out of wood again.
Not that they're going to do that,
but it's always funny to flip it to the most benevolent alternative.
Yeah.
That's a good way to fucking make people feel bad about something.
And you really don't need metal look at
the ancient look at ancient egypt those tombs are perfectly preserved they had zero metal in there
yeah boom dude just do it the egyptian style yeah how do you feel about metal overall i like metal
me too i ain't hating on it for sure i'm in yeah dude i love metal detectors there's under armor
commercials click big smelting pot.
No, the rogue ones.
The rogue ones where they're making kettlebells in the smelting pot.
You know what I'm talking about?
That's good metal.
Dude, someone sent in this.
The Mississippi Supreme Court justices just struck down a medical marijuana initiative
supported by 70% of voters in the state last November.
People are pissed.
Get them out, dude.
If you can't blaze, you're done, dude.
Supreme Court justices, dude,
and maybe in the state level
and definitely on the federal level
should not be a lifetime position, dude.
You don't think so?
No.
10 years, maybe five years term.
You're not just saying that because of how the court is now?
No.
Because, I mean, dude, these people in mississippi bro they're
probably some old dudes who are like weeds bad dude which chill as hell dude and they're preventing
their you don't blaze their boat i don't blaze but i know it helps other people out and i think
this goes back to what i want to say earlier so all i'm saying dude is these judges in freaking
mississippi dude they're they're bogged down by dude. It's like traditional for them not to blaze, dude.
No, dude.
People want to blaze it up.
Go ahead.
I don't even smoke.
But why are they going to yuck someone else's yum?
Right.
You know what I'm saying, dude?
Totes.
Yeah.
And I think at this point we have pretty good evidence.
I mean, look, I think weed can mess you up, obviously, but there's already so many things that can mess you up that we give people the green light on.
Yeah. And this was a medicinal law ruling, dude, where it's like, many things that can mess you up that we give people the green light on yeah and this was a medicinal law ruling dude where it's like it's not even saying you can go
out and buy an ounce yeah it's like dude you still got to get a doctor's note yeah it says you know
you get anxious or you got body pain or whatever it is dude my cousin josh had a brain uh tumor
and they were they said he was
not long for this earth.
And then he started doing
weed suppositories
and it got better.
That's crazy.
I mean,
it's hard to tell what fixes you,
but he gives full credit to that.
And I think,
you know,
in terms of his treatment,
that was kind of like
the isolated thing
that he was doing
to combat it.
So,
I don't know.
That's fucking sick.
Good.
My dad tried to do it.
He was like,
I can't sleep all day like this. It sucks yeah i was wondering i was just thinking about
that like i mean being sick is tough the absolute worst it's a bust it's so hard to just be like
you need to just rest take a day of rest and you're like no i don't it's stressful it is
well it doesn't work for everyone right like everyone it's like
a different prescription for everyone i feel like like some people rest is probably the answer and
maybe that is restorative for them but some people aren't designed to rest they're designed to keep
going i mean that's what's crazy about like urban meyer coaching football again at jacksonville
like he's had to leave his last two jobs because of health reasons like he gets so stressed out he
gets brain cysts.
And so he'll literally be on the sideline.
I don't know what it feels like,
but they just say he's in immense pain and he can hardly function.
And then so he'll always take a couple years off,
but then the itch comes back.
The man was put on this earth to coach football players.
What do you think about Tebow coming back?
He's my Beef of the Week on the last episode. I'm just... Get out of here, Tebow.
Just leave the limelight.
Just show she can
for a little bit.
Yeah, and I agree.
Bart Scott's like,
he's just taking a position
from some kid
who should be earning
that position.
Right.
Just because he's going
to sell tickets.
But it's a business.
I mean, I get it.
I get it.
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Let's get back to the show.
All right.
Should we answer some questions?
Fucking yeah, dude.
Hello, boys.
Long time listener.
First time emailer.
I'll get straight into it.
I got a lady problem that I would love some sage advice about.
Within my first week of arriving at school, I'm a freshman in college.
I met this really amazing girl and we totally hit it off.
Hanging every day, talking for hours.
We'd even run into each other in the most random places.
The universe was pushing us together, eh?
And pretty quickly we became more than just friends.
Yet recently after dating for around four months, she ended things out of nowhere.
It wasn't the right time for her.
Now, not going to lie, I was not expecting this.
Not only was she the one who had asked to take our relationship from just friends with benefits to next level of BFGF,
but I truly felt like everything was going super well. She said she didn't want to lose me and that
I was the person she was most comfortable with yet needed time to be by herself. She asked to
hang out as friends earlier today after a month of not talking, save for a few awkward exchanges
in the dorm, but I don't know if I can do it. I still really miss her and don't think i can just not have her in my life yet every time i see her it tears me apart
how would you guys recommend i move forward should i just give it more time try to get her back or
should i suck it up and just be friends thanks so much for the advice your podcast is amazing
brings so much positivity and positivity in my life y'all are legends and that was seven days
ago and then he bumped it yesterday so it's's still fresh on his dome. I'd say keep moving forward.
Keep living your life.
You don't want to be friends with her.
Do not concede to her demand.
Those are the right words.
I would say she wants to be friends.
You don't want to be friends.
Stick to your guns.
Say, I appreciate you asking, but I don't want to be friends with you. I want you know i appreciate you asking but i don't want to be friends with you i want something more so if you change your mind let
me know and then just keep moving forward in your direction you know keep improving your life and
always crush it in class crush it in the gym meet new people get out there you know keep keep
charging ahead on your path and then if she wants to come back in and join up
that's legit um if not you're gonna be all good dude i mean this this this pain will pass
um but i think i think torturing yourself by like hanging out with her as friends and like
you know and and letting her get what she wants in that way i i don't think that's fair to you so
um yeah keep moving forward and and uh get that
bronze yeah dude I think uh unfortunately I think you're just gonna have to take space from her
because I think you just care about her too much to be that close to her all the time and not getting
what you feel like you need from it um so it's nice of you to try and like meet her halfway but
I don't think it's actually halfway
i think you're going a greater distance than she is and you know if she wants space
that's a strong indicator that you know she wants to explore other things i think um it might not
even be another person but i don't know at that age i I feel like that's probably on the horizon.
So I would, uh, I would just tell her like, Hey, I like you too much to,
to, to be in this much pain all the time when I'm around you. I need,
I need to do my own thing. And then I would, I would go do that. Yeah.
I would try and it's gonna be tough because you're in college.
You're going to bump into each other, but yeah, Chad's right.
You just got to keep it moving, and uh go go find out more about yourself with other people too and more about yourself just by yourself dude exactly bro fucking put up a sick
ass fight club poster in your dorm stock your mini fridge full with fucking new castles or bl smooth
get a big ass battery pack and just put tall boys in there.
Tell your roommate we're going to freaking party,
and you're in college, dude.
It's set up for you to meet new people, dude.
You met someone, you had a dank-ass connection.
That's tight, dude.
Cherish it.
Move forward, dude.
You have so much boning ahead of you, dude.
You know what I mean?
You don't even have...
I'm at a point in my life where I now have boning style.
I would say i have a style
you know you could probably if i was silhouetted boning i could pick myself out of a lineup you
know police lineup that's amazing boning style that's like how joe rogan describes some mma
fighters when you could just see their shadow moving you know that was like dominic cruz
fighting he says that because it was idiosyncratic like footwork and you know his striking patterns
and it's amazing that's you i could do that with boning for myself i'd be on the bottom and i'd be giving finesse strokes
so you don't know what type of boner you are yet and go find out college is a time for you to find
out about yourself and you're probably not going to find the answers till 15 years later in your
30s so do some exploring dude and you know what the emotions dude a lot of times they'll get in the way you
know and feel them process them you're still young your brain's not even fully molded you're not even
25 yet dude you know even then it's give or take a couple years in either direction so just keep
fucking cruising dude you know what i mean dude get some keep cruising and take some bruising
that's all i'm saying dude let's go's go. Take some shots. Keep rolling. Not necessarily boo shots.
Don't become an alcoholic, you know.
I'm saying take shots of life, you know.
Everyone says life throws you a curveball.
It throws heat down the middle.
Fucking lean in and get on base and play ball, baby.
Oh, you want him to get hit by a pitch?
Why don't you get hit?
Yeah, get hit.
He just did get hit.
Chuck Knobloch, dude.
Baby, yes.
Take some off your arm.
Chuck Knobloch, dude.
That's my DJ name.
If I was a DJ, I would be DJ Chuck Knobloch.
I was in the Jakku
when we came up with that.
You were with it?
Yeah.
Dude, how did I forget that?
Chuck Knobloch.
That was when we were
talking about buttholes.
Yeah, dude.
And then his sweet neighbor
came over the fence
and was like,
can you guys cool it
with the butthole talk?
I got a 10-year-old over here.
We were like, yeah.
Dude, we were having
the most mature.
We're like, well,
if someone is into
butthole pleasure and anal
you know and I'm not necessarily
feeling that would we go in that direction
with them I go if I love them I would take those steps
and I would never force it and we probably said
butthole about 80 times in a span
of three minutes so yeah I get
where that mom was coming from oh for sure
100% I bet you her kid
has a broader understanding
of sexuality
thanks to
being with an earshot
totally
and the kids that he's
riding his bikes with
because you know
that information
got disseminated
oh dude that passed
real quick
through Ambul Elementary
Chad and JT
what up
I recently connected
with a girl over Instagram
she's very entrepreneurial
minded
which gets me stoked
because I'm also
an entrepreneur
she's also a dime
figuratively speaking of course if she was a literal dime i might not be as interested
interesting my boy frankie roosevelt is thick but i'm more into the ladies personal personally i
think he means personality so i asked her if she wanted to video call and discuss our experiences
i also offered free marketing advice as that is my current profession. It all should be said that this dude's email name, not the address, but his name is ManTheDan.
The plan is to offer free video call consulting once a month, then once a week, then daily, then ask her on a date, then get in a relationship, then marriage.
From my perspective, this seems to be a flawless plan.
I've studied the figurative chessboard. Queen's Gambit is in play.
I'll lose the first pawn by offering free marketing advice.
But will it work in the end because it will be traded in for marriage stokers do you see any
flaws in my plan i don't see any flaws here dude i think this dude's dialed i'm very curious to see
dude just keep me posted dude dude i can't give advice this guy this guy's a magician this guy
already knows no dude this guy needs to just fucking just unplug himself dude he's on robot
dude mode you know what i mean dude just i'm sorry i'm coming down on you dan the man here
who who are you but what if he found who are you dude he doesn't know but what if he found
addy lady the ad i'm trying to what's a female equivalent
for dan the man oh dude um linda the lady the lady sadie the lady what if he found his sadie
the lady aaron there's someone out there for everyone but i'll tell you what they'd get
divorced in 10 years because they'd really find out who each other are you know way too late i
can't believe you're not supporting i'm not on this on for this guy. He's got a premeditated...
He sounds like a serial killer looking for love.
He's got a premeditated plan.
I'm sorry, Dan.
And honestly, you know what it was?
It was the goddamn dime joke, dude.
You ever say a dime joke like that, dude?
The dime joke was bad,
but he was trying to appeal to us.
True, true.
I don't know.
It was the Frankie Roosevelt thing, though.
That's what I don't get.
Is Franklin Delano Roosevelt on the dime? Nope. Yep. Yes, heosevelt thing though that's what i don't get is franklin
delano roosevelt on the dime nope yep yes yes he is i think that's where he's coming from yes he is
yes he is saying the dime is thick yeah she's thick but he likes her personally more
but he meant personality look guys in marketing gurus like this they're not always buttoned up
when it comes to dotting the t's and crossing the t's
this guy has no big brother i'll tell you that much right now he needs a big brother who just
who punched him a little bit more growing up did yeah i yeah i'm kind of in agreement with strider
i think uh why doesn't he just ask her out right now i don't understand this plan where she's like
he's like i'm gonna give you free marketing advice and like she's so oblivious that she'll be like
she'll be like oh wow you're giving me free marketing advice this totally just selfless guy
yeah let me give you some some doctoral advice he's leading a proctologist he can find your head
he's your ass yeah he's leading with his skills no he is leading with his skills my old boss
his first date with his wife he helped her fix up her finances but it was a date this is a
he's not asking for a date he's like i'm gonna give you free marketing advice you guys are being
so like hard ass no no you guys would all do this goofy no we would you would totally do this
he said she's entrepreneurial okay i mean yeah i I have may have, you know, reached out to females. Surf lesson or something like that?
Yeah.
Yeah, but surf lesson's cool, dude.
That's cool.
Yeah.
And you're more.
No, no one's saying this guy's cool.
I'm definitely not suggesting this guy's cool, but I like him.
I like him.
I like him too.
He wants to get married.
I'm not coming down, but you know, I'm just saying, I'm just saying girls can sniff out
what you're trying to do
you already have marriage in your mind and you're like yeah so you know this is how i'm
you know you put on a youtube video you're talking about you know um you gotta yeah talk
about your btus or whatever and then he's like all right that was good that was a good marketing
session i'll see you next week same time and the same time and he's like by the way we should go out and possibly get married
like i think just ask her out and be like hey we should grab a coffee talk about marketing um
you know i'm dan the man what up i i agree look that would obviously be but here's the thing i
like i like that so many times people write in they're like
i like this girl i don't know what to do yeah you know we're always like just ask her out you know
like just take the quickest route to to where you want to get to in the most honest and earnest one
but this guy he's already got the wheels in motion like this guy's got a plan but it's not that honest
and earnest of a plan but i do like that he's got a plan though come on that's what i mean and it's
not like then why shouldn't he be direct if she knows yeah he's not gonna get he like that he's got a plan. She knows, though. Come on. That's what I mean. Then why shouldn't he be direct if she knows?
Yeah, he's not going to get her marketing.
Because he's playing.
He's slow playing it.
But that's like the whole guys doing nice things
because they really want sex.
He's doing all this,
and he's acting like he's doing it for free,
but in reality, it's an exchange exactly and that's for some reason i'm
projecting into him like more of a sense of humor about all of it and more of good nature
nah probably because of the amount of jokes but he's in marketing he's in marketing i know he he
he got you to buy exactly and that's why he put oh but the ladies and i want to get married down
the road full of it too maybe they're two por two porcupines. But that's what I said.
What was the first thing I said?
Who are you, dude?
Look in the mirror and be honest with yourself.
He's man to Dan.
No, he's not the man.
He's definitely not Dan the man.
I'll tell you that.
He's man to Dan.
Let's flip the script.
If a girl was like, hey, I want to give you free marketing advice.
Let's do a session next week.
And you're like, okay, cool.
And then you do that.
And you do that for a few weeks.
And then she's like, hey, do you want to go out?
I think by that point, you'd be like like why don't you just ask me out like at the get-go i don't want to do this bullshit fucking free marketing advice yeah i don't know
yeah i mean would jim and pam have worked out if jim just asked her out right away that's a sitcom
no but what i but it's a it's a it an analogous. Jim was a fucking goon.
Yeah.
I don't want to hear about fucking Jim.
But sometimes it's, I just don't think there's just one.
Look, obviously just asking someone out is great, but I'm not, I don't know.
Does that work every time?
Sometimes it doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
And I got to tell you, JT brings up a good point.
Use your skills, but just, it seems a little preventative with all the steps,
but I do think I'm sniffing this guy out.
He just wants to get laid.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You guys are so unfair,
man.
He's having fun.
He's in love with it.
And it's all speculative.
Look,
it is all speculative.
I don't know,
but all I'm saying is just ask her out,
man.
Just let her know.
And you know what you should do?
You should,
he should ask her out like this,
dude.
If I'm giving you good advice, Dan, you keep us posted. You keep us posted. You let her know. And you know what you should do? He should ask her out like this, dude. If I'm giving you good advice.
Man the Dan, you keep us posted.
You keep us posted.
You let us know what happens next week.
I say, keep it cash.
Coffee.
Let's grab coffee.
I'd love to take you to coffee.
We could talk marketing.
I'm Man the Dan.
What a better line.
But they're going to relate so much over the marketing thing.
Yeah, they're going to do it anyway.
Why disguise it?
Why disguise it as a misadvice? The sexual undertones are're gonna do it anyway why disguise it why disguise it as i'm just advised the sexual undertones are gonna be strong why disguise it
is this not a better line hey i know i've reached out to you about giving you some marketing advice
but really i'd just be thinking about how i want to be on a date with you can we go on a date and
if we want to talk marketing i don't think that's better i think that's better dude i don't know
because it's honest and that's the best policy get out of here and if you get shot down then you get shot down yeah and the whole like
working together thing it's not like they were paired up by the powers that like their boss or
something they're like paired up and he's like i'm really like jones and you know it's more like
he's like hey like let's let's work together like i'll give you free marketing and then she's like
okay yeah for sure your boy sorry keep going and that you know it's like
he's got he's got to be i think girls respect more when you're direct about what you want totally as opposed to these like roundabout like yeah you know i'll fix your tires and then like
yeah you know for like a month and then i'll ask you know it's just like just ask her out yeah
going back to your scenario if the girl was like hey i'll give you a marketing advice because during. Because during the thing, when you're saying that, you say you meet three times for marketing advice or something.
Then finally she's like, hey, actually, you want to go on a date?
Yeah.
Wouldn't it be nice if in the beginning she was just like, hey, I'm kind of into you.
Would you like to go on a date?
Yeah.
Wouldn't it be nice if everything was just straightforward and easy?
Thank you, Dan.
A man be straightforward.
Emmanuel Kant.
Chad's boy.
In the crooked timber of society, no straight thing was ever made.
Okay?
Yeah, he's a pessimist, this guy.
He wasn't talking about dates.
He was definitely talking about dates.
He was not talking about dates.
He was talking about everything.
Wasn't he?
Wasn't he?
Didn't he?
Wasn't he a virgin?
He didn't fuck, right?
Yeah.
Because he was too straightforward.
He was going up to girls and he was like, he should have been going up to girls and
been like, hey, come over.
We'll study some philosophy. We gonna go through like you know ontological
learning and then they were like cool but he was just going up to girls he's like i have a crush
on you meet me for cider later and they were like later robot no way it's because you think they'd
be a little bit offended they'd be like i'll teach you about ontological learning and like
existential how about this instead of offering things like the free marketing advice
how about he just like engages in some like marketing flirting with her you know it's like
yeah it's like hey how about that how about that skittles campaign you know establish some rapport
and then and then ask her as opposed to being like hey i'd love to like have you know under the
guise of like i'm gonna give you work advice like i'm gonna give you work
advice it's not romantic at all but she knows she knows what she wants i think she i'm perceiving
her as not being that impressed by his marketing and just finding it charming that he's even
offering it to her it's condescending yeah she's super condescending to him, for sure. Look, he's man to damn. He's condescending.
You think so?
Yeah.
And he feels like a serial killer.
He's an obvious horse's ass.
He's a serial killer.
Exactly.
I think that's going to come through.
She knows.
Hopefully.
I don't know.
What do you think?
I mean, A, I think this woman probably knows how to market herself.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah.
So I think it is creepy.
I think he should just be direct.
All right, just ask her out.
Just ask her out.
Just ask her out, dude.
And it's so premeditated.
There's so many steps to it.
What?
And if you come in with that, I want to get married.
That many steps?
Some of us, when we meet someone, we overthink it.
We outthink it too far into the future.
And maybe he's smart because he's getting this advice now.
Sorry, Chad, what do you say?
If you come in with that that I want to get married energy
right off the bat,
they're gone.
Yeah.
Like that,
unless they're like also on board,
dude, that,
you can't come in with
I want to get married energy
on the first date.
My first GF,
I didn't even remember this
because I was so drunk,
but I told her like a month in
I was in love with her
and she goes,
you told me the first night
we got drinks together,
but I was bombed.
I said, I'm in love with you.
And look, did it work out?
No, but we had a torrid romance.
Yeah.
It was, uh, it was bigger than life.
Um, but yeah, it does freak people out for sure.
But I don't know, dude.
I'm like, I'm thinking Thomas crown of fear.
I think he's found a kindred spirit.
All right, let's keep pushing.
Uh, Hey guys, dank GF listener here.
My boyfriend,
Joe,
good name.
Got me into your guys's podcast.
The first time I met his parents,
we listened to the sex therapist episode on the drive up.
And whenever we're in the car together,
we have to put on the podcast and we have,
we have to put on the podcast and I'm really into it enough that I got him
one of your t-shirts for Christmas.
We're about to move in together in about a month and I'm super excited,
but I've only lived with sisters and other girls before never a bf i know it's a pretty big step in our relationship
any advice on how we can make it the best we can also it's his birthday this friday on the 21st
and i would know it would make his year to get a shout out from you guys thanks a lot love you all
happy birthday joe joe happy birthday. HBD, dude.
What do we think?
Tips on living with a guy.
Strider, you probably have the most... Yeah, dude.
I've lived with my freaking dank-ass fiance
for multiple years now.
And even JT,
she was even with us in our little place too.
So I would say this.
When you guys get a place,
definitely make sure it's at least a one bedroom.
At least.
Studio with a couple, no no go unless you guys are
like you know fucking like rabbits and writing an album but i would say this way you can at least
like have your own space for when you're gonna have your little tiffs and then you know don't
keep score because i'll tell you that much don't keep score of like and look i've messed messed up
doing this too of like who's doing the dishes a lot or who was the last one to take the trash out.
Just fucking be a baller.
Be a beast, dude.
And be a good roommate.
You know what I mean?
It sounds like she – what's her name that wrote in?
She's had siblings and lived with sisters.
So Genevieve, you've had siblings and everything.
And so that fires me up that you know how to be a good roommate and
so that's going to put you head and shoulders above anybody who's like never lived with someone
or whatever shared a room in space and other than that dude there's nothing to it it's fun dude you
have little date nights in dude you freaking post up you know uh it's it's dank now that you have
like two to have two monitors as well because he's going to want to watch i mean i game with my boys
and then my dank ass fiance will watch her show so we like kind of have a nice understanding
with that so you know just be be comfortable adjusting to those new boundaries dude and it'll
it'll be sight it'll be tight aaron what do you see kind of missed it uh she's moving in with her
boyfriend she's never lived with a dude before any tips on living with your bf oh yeah it's gonna be
great were you asleep again with your eyes open this time no no no you were sleeping with your eyes open you're a beast
aaron's a father dude dude you're a dad you're dad tired yeah it's been a little rough but what
a soldier you are to come here and do this he drives like an hour people no i don't drive an
hour but 45 minutes i would have loved to have gotten lunch and i just didn't um no i think it's
gonna be fine it's it's awesome to move in with your
partner the first time like just just know that that that's gonna be fun i mean unless he's an
absolute fucking slob but i think you know that by now yeah you know if you're not if you're not
on that same wavelength but um otherwise it should be it should be a great time yeah i have no uh
experience in this realm but
yeah i would say understand each other's like boundaries off the off the bat be a good roommate
uh know like what the other person needs you know if he needs a little time if you need alone time
sort of get that understanding in there so you're not upping each other's grills too much
um which i don't think you will be uh i think that's all i got yeah but
you know watch some cool ass movies together laugh together share some laughs i would say
this if you get frustrated with one another just go for a walk leave the house because sometimes
when i get into conflict i sit in the conflict thinking that the way we'll resolve it is just
by like being like when when conflict happens i want to get closer to the person i'm in conflict with and i think sometimes that just keeps you in that space for longer so
don't be afraid if you're not feeling it to just you know go take some time for yourself get some
fresh air get a scoop of ice cream and just decompress that's huge also you know what's huge
literally maybe the most important item in our relationship is having a king-size bed not a california king
even though i'm lanky but a king it's wider it's a huge huge when the lady who i'm seeing now
lovely lady when when she spends the night here we don't sleep i got a queen and sometimes if i go to
bed i can be anxious and she can literally like feel me vibrating and neither of us sleep all
night yeah we're like in
between sleep and awake for like eight hours yeah and then we go back to our respective places or i
stay here and she goes back and then we we have to take massive naps yeah brutal that that's how
it was with me and my and my gf for a while like i toss and turn before i get comfortable a lot and
we were in a queen while dating and stuff had to get the king gotta get the king get the
king it's worth it dude yeah all right guys we can pick between these three these are the titles
urgent goalie problem number two babe fright number three schmole babe fright all right let's go this
one's actually the most gentle of all of them despite the title the past few weeks i've been
talking to an absolute keeper.
We have so much in common and she's a breeze to talk to, but I physically cannot eat in
her presence.
Taking one bite of some dank pecan salad makes me want to hurl.
It is definitely due to anxiety deep within that I am not in touch with.
When she asks what's wrong with the pecan salad, I tell her that I'm stressed and not
hungry, but she doesn't realize I'm stressed about her.
What should I do?
And what are some date nights that don't involve food?
Well, me and Chad just reviewed a date that you can do. That was super fun.
We got our toenails done. Go get a pedicure with her. Um, dude, I, me and Chad were talking about
that. One of the upshots of going through a breakup is that neither of us could eat.
And so I was shredded, dude. That week I almost had a full six pack. It was freaking awesome.
So dude, I would enjoy it.
Just enjoy the excess calories you're going to be burning off
because it's not going to last forever.
Now obviously if this extends into a month-long thing
and we're starting to get into malnourished territory,
you might have to take some space
and just go woof down some in-and-out outsider presence before dates.
But no, dude, it's all good, dude.
You're just going to be lean.
Yeah, and I think maybe tell her. Maybe just talk to her about it. presence before dates but but no dude it's all good dude you're just gonna be lean yeah and i
think uh maybe tell her maybe just talk to her about it just be like i i have some you know i
have some uh i have some nerves about eating in front of you i don't know what it is but i just
want to let you know up top and uh you know i think she'll respond in a great way i remember
you know i get i get uh pee shy and i was i was like you know hanging out
with a lady for a while and i and i just like she's like it took a while in there and i was
just like yeah i'm p shy she's like i'm p shy too and we bonded over that whoa yeah so you know it
could be an excellent opportunity for bonding yeah yeah then you
guys could get into some food play together yeah like she's putting you know carne asada burrito
into your mouth and she's like making you eat yeah it's kind of hot yeah sounds tight as hell
dude sounds like this is like one of those things that i hear about that's pretty common and has to
do with like you know self-confidence or maybe,
I don't know, maybe if your teeth or something like that, those are stressor areas, maybe
something definitely to look into of like getting help with, but like, uh, and just working on your
overall self-confidence with nothing wrong there, dude. I mean, Hey baby, go do that work dog. But,
um, yeah, I don't think you've got anything to worry about your beast, dude. You know,
just, you probably mean to care about her.
So yeah, you'll be freaking sharing tapas-style dinner
and boning avant-garde style.
That is nice.
You like her a lot.
You're feeling that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right, should we get into the next part?
Oh, I was just going to say,
I feel like my wife and I farted in front of each other
really early.
Nice, dude.
We just got it out of the way.
I know after one date,
I literally had a date,
it was like our third date,
at the restaurant at the end of the street,
the Italian restaurant.
Tironi?
Yeah.
Great spot.
I didn't want to blow it up on the pod,
but so people can know where you live.
Put it in my front door.
Went back to her place,
did some like super make out.
And then as soon as I walked out the door,
my stomach just went,
Oh,
and I was going to,
I was driving all the way back to Burbank to go to flappers.
See Jake Johansson.
Highly recommend.
Super funny guy.
Um,
and just like fucking just racing through town,
running stoplights.
Cause I had to,
I had to shit myself so bad
beast and i told her about it i told her about it before the next date i was like you know
funny funny story maybe some people aren't into that but and she my wife has made it clear she
was not into that but she liked your candor though yeah i hope so well it worked out yeah yeah i had a situation
like that where i um my girlfriend at the time had a whole birthday thing planned and i woke up
that morning i like had like you know i had to crap my pants this was early on in the relation
and she's like all right you ready to go i'm like i live like 25 minutes away i'm like yeah i'm gonna go home and shower i'm just
gonna go shower and she's like what and i'm like yeah i'm gonna go shower and i just bailed and
went you know dropped a deuce and uh and i came back i'm like okay i'm good and she's like what's
going on months later i was like i was like yeah i had to shit my pants and uh and she's like why you just told me
that's hilarious so yeah it's understandable yeah dude everyone's gotta go yeah i like that
you came clean though yeah it felt good it felt good i mean that's one thing too like there was
just no in the apartment she lived in there was just no way to hide what you were doing she go
to the bathroom i could hear the full thing yeah i was just like i chad who's your beef of the week uh my beef of the week is
with the demon vape um i've been uh yeah i got into it probably like two years ago now
just been in and out you know uh bought one this morning um you know it just goes in and out it's
like the thing about it is it's so easy it's so easy to buy and then you just even if you're like
a few months away from it your mind's like you know what would be nice right now is like a puff
bar so that's just like an ongoing cycle where it's just you know you're in you're out you're in you're out and it's just like the fact that it's so easy just like is is tough and you just got to be vigilant in your mind you
know you got to tell you you got to let your mind know what's going on when you feel those urges and
that that that craving you got to you got to take a step back and recognize what it is that's just
straight up addiction um so i bought one today but you know
i'm gonna throw it out after today uh but you know it's just like part of me is like am i gonna be
like fucking dealing with this shit for a while but then our friend bella was like there's a
hypnotist i can like hypnotize you to never craving that again so i was like maybe i'll try that beast whoa you kick it
pretty easy too yeah yeah it's tough i feel bad dude i feel like i got you back on it because i
was puffing it yeah but part of me just loves it i understand aaron what's your beef of the week
my beef of the week was nosebleeds oh good weather got super dry lately, so I've been having them.
Just come out of nowhere.
It fucking sucks.
It's a bummer.
Yeah.
The worst.
Strider, what's your beef of the week?
Beef of the week's with my dentist, bro.
Nice. Call my dentist today.
Right?
I have an appointment for Monday, but then my boy Brooks hit me up.
We're going to do a little job in Vegas.
What up?
It's going to be sick.
Fired up to get another Vegas trip under my belt.
Which one is this? This is going to be like my 30th trip amazing just robbing a casino three thousand miles i don't
want to tell you i have to kill you um job in vegas and my dentist has a fucking policy that says
we charge you um if you don't cancel within 48 hours it's friday my appointment's on monday
so i called today i just found out last night.
I was like, let me confirm today.
And I call them earlier today and he goes, oh yeah, dude, we got to charge you 60 bones
because it's business hours, dude.
Nah, dude.
You know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to call them tomorrow.
And if they're open, I'm going to go, Walter, dude, what up?
Got you.
And he's going to go, what?
Excuse me?
You guys are open today.
Sorry.
And even if they're not open, dude, that's whack.
It doesn't say that in the email fine print.
So just me being, just getting hustled by the dentist, dude.
I'll go find a new dentist like that.
Later.
Don't let someone mistreat you.
Yeah, it's wrong, dude. You want me to come back, dude? Give a little today to make a little more tomorrow, bro. Later, dentist. That's awesome. Dude, my beef of the week is my own beef with
my boner problems. I don't know, just my whole life. And especially if it's a woman I like,
I always have boner problems initially. I need to build trust before I can get there. And so I always have boner problems
for like the first couple of weeks, sometimes a month, sometimes a little bit longer. And I have
to like work through it. And it's really hard on my ego. Like I feel sad for a while, but everyone
who knows me is like, dude, this is just your process. You always do it this way. It's kind
of a good thing. Stop judging yourself. And I'm like, yeah, but it's, it is my process. I just
wish it wasn't. It's kind of lame. Like I wish I could just like, you know, casually bone. Um, but it
just doesn't always work that way. Like sometimes my body's just not there. And so I just gotta be
okay with it, but it sucks. And it's a lot of like acceptance and like, you know, and then the
thing with sex is like, it's a momentum thing, right? You both get really excited. You build up
to it. And then when it doesn't happen, it's's kind of a crash it's kind of a big letdown but you got to stay in
the pocket try other things be emotionally honest but even that sometimes doesn't leave you feeling
whole it's just the right thing to do but doing the right thing that doesn't always feel good
you know what i mean it doesn't make you feel better that you're doing the right thing you're
just doing the best you can but i just have to accept it you. You know what I mean? Sometimes my little wood, dude.
I've actually been doing this other thing where I like to call my dick big and stupid.
Sometimes my big, stupid dick.
That big-ass, dumb-ass down there.
You big fucking idiot.
Just doesn't want to work.
Look down in the morning and be like, oh, where is that idiot?
And then I look at him like, oh, God.
Because you know what he wants.
Big-ass idiot.
Not working. Why are you such a dummy why are you so dumb big you're dumb big you dumb big moron um but yeah it just doesn't always work and i guess that's just my you know that's where i'm at
but i i had an issue recently with that where it was like it would only go like half you know
yeah i've been there and um she was like she's like did you ice bath today i'm like
nah she's like there it is oh she gets it i love that dude she's a keeper dude
you kidding me she knows you she's dialed in with you like that yeah yeah i don't know what
i mean jt then you think you then you think about the other person you're with and then they get
insecure of like why is it not working is it me then you have to have all these talks
it's a tough battle man i mean i get it but i think it's it's a good natured thing
um but yeah it just sucks i think you have the right space with it it just sucks to have to
deal with but it's your yeah maybe calling it maybe talking about it will help me yeah but it sucks it does suck but it's like once i get over the hump it's all good i just gotta get
through it but it's one of those things where we wish in life where it's like oh if i did this one
thing or figured out why then click then it's gone no it doesn't not everything's like that
it goes away sometimes like last summer no problems i was cruising but then i don't know maybe there was
something about the pandemic that just removed any stress i had in that department but now it's back
bro and i'm just like fuck man i gotta i gotta wrestle with this thing again you know it does
it sucks when it happens again i thought i was past this shit but yeah it's weird it's ugly head
well it's a good it's good battle to have i mean at least it's like a challenge you know you're
it's you against your cock it does feel good once you get over it like i'll have those nights where i'm like i and you
get past it and then you're on the other side of it you're like i overcame something it does feel
you know it feels like my rocky movie chad who's your babe of the week
my baby of the week is uh organic food um yeah i just uh i never really thought about it i never really thought
you know you're like you gotta eat organic yeah you're organic yeah i never thought about that
i was like yeah whatever dude who gives that's i've lately i've been eating organic makes a
huge difference you do feel different you feel better i feel like you
look better you glow a little bit more and i think it's huge you know and there's no need to be all
kind of uh anal about uh you know diet and stuff it's just like you know how many carbs show you
how many how many fucking you know eat oh my sodium intake blah blah
it's like no just eat organic and you'll be fine i think that's i think that's what it is i think
just eat good quality whole food and you'll be fine that's it that's my babe nice dude i love it
aaron who's your babe my babe of the week is the most inorganic material known to man.
Styrofoam.
Always seems to be opposite, Chad.
I think it'll change your life if you're like me and you like a diet soda.
I do love Diet Coke.
Dr. Pepper Zero Sugar.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Tastes just like the original.
None of the guilt. Love it. Dude, Dr. Pepper Diet Zero. Tastes just like the original. None of the guilt.
Love it.
Dude, Dr. Pepper diet, zero.
I mean, so good.
Diet Dr. Pepper's,
it's like the formula's not right.
It's right with zero.
Damn.
Trust me on this, my dog.
Ooh.
Strider, who's your baby of the week?
Baby of the week's gonna be my
freaking dank-ass fiance, dude.
I recently pranked her. we've been nesting recently and nesting is just us creating a very dank living
environment we sort of always nest gradually but we've really been leaning into it and um we had a
fun little evening of reorganizing our books on our bookshelf and i pranked her um and i put the
band of brothers and i put dvds her um and i put the band of brothers
and i put dvds up there gladiator and band of brothers and then when she reacted i was like
dude i was gonna get her so good and zinger and she was just like you know i've actually never
seen gladiator and i was like what we got to watch it so we're gonna watch it now but we just
got to get a dvd player or wait for it to come out on like tnt or something like that you have
an xbox though don't you i have an. Oh, but it's a digital one.
Oh.
There's no.
No disc?
Yeah.
Oh,
damn.
So,
but the thing is,
she hard committed to watching Gladiator with me,
and I'm really looking forward.
I feel like that's a big moment for like a father and son.
It's like being able to show my son Gladiator or Braveheart.
It's massive.
Being able to show the woman I love,
Gladiator,
is going to be a nice moment for both of us,
but especially me. I'm really going to be really reveling in that those cuddles are going
to be intense it's gonna be huge dude it's gonna be huge yeah it's gotta be on a streaming service
i feel like i've seen it on something it was but they come and go it was on um netflix for a while
but it's gone but something maybe it's in the HBO archives. I honestly haven't looked yet.
Nice.
Chad, who's your legend of the week?
Jan the woman.
My legend of the week is Steven Pressfield, the author.
Dude, he's the best.
He's the best.
I'm reading his new book, Gates of Fire,
about the Battle of Thermopylae, the Spartans. I read that.
That was great.
Yeah, I'm only 30 pages in but I was reading
it while sunbathing
nude.
What's the main character's name?
I don't even know. With his mangled hands?
The slave?
Dexterity? I don't know. It's a dope book.
Don't ask me questions like that.
I don't know.
I was just
reading it. I'm like 30 pages in. I just loving it and uh i went from eat pray love
to uh gates of fire because you gotta go feminine to the super masculine you know i'm just
dipping in both and uh and i just love it i i i don't know there's nothing like a good book and
i was just it is it's a good book good writing and you know it's like ancient
greece sparta guys check out steven pressfield if you want to you know the art of war is a great
book that everyone always cites you know especially if you're in war of art yeah that's right sun zoo
art war sun zoo thank you um and uh yeah check out that book if you're like in the creative field or
just anything you you know.
I don't know.
I was just like, I was like laying there and I was like, this is it.
This is all I need.
Bronzing while reading a good book, you know.
That's it.
People are like, you know, they want to get like a yacht or whatever.
Fancy cars.
And I'm like, I just want to tan and read a good book.
Hell yeah. Dude, before you came over today, I was outside reading get shorty in the sun what who came over before you came over
i was reading get shorty out in the sun it's the best it's the best yeah it's the best so
guys i highly suggest you do that summer's coming baby aaron he's your legend i got a dual legend
today uh because i just noticed it's both of
their birthdays uh robert zemeckis and george lucas oh nice both created some of the most um
you know fun trilogies in cinema history um i think i love back to the future more than star
wars whoa whoa yeah huge we did uh wife and I when we got married
when you know
they announce
you as a couple
and then you walk back
down the aisle
power of love
nice
fucking love it
Huey Lewis
yeah
Huey Lewis in the news
Strider who's your legend
dude my legend is just
feeling sexy dude
I've been feeling
pretty fucking sexy lately
been wearing some nice shorts dude the weather's been nice and you know what i think the sexiest
part of my body is i think it's my jumper muscle upper quad right here yeah your jumper muscle
it's my sexiest part do you know that about me yeah dude dialed in yeah i think that's my sexiest
part of my body absolutely and i asked my fiance
you know what she said my sexiest part was but she said my back oh she likes my butt she said
back which i think includes but more your butt than your back but i've been feeling sexy and
really indulging in it you know it's very self-indulgent to talk about this especially
in a public space but you know what fuck it if i feel a little sexy so what so sue me
and your lifting times are going down
your Omar
maybe that's a big part
of the reason why
you shaved 7 minutes
off your Omar
that's thrusters
and burpees
it's huge
tremendous
yeah you're feeling sexy
because you are sexy
it's nice
what you feel
is what you are
and what you are
is beautiful
goo goo dolls
little
you like to throw
song lyrics in right
oh so fucking nice
the way you just did
that right there, dude.
Absolutely fucking beautiful.
It's a beautiful day.
Oh, oh, oh.
See what I did there
is I set myself up,
cheated a little bit,
landed on a word like beautiful.
A lot of songs include that word.
Really have to be honest here
on like Man the Dan
and just call myself out
for being a little bit cheap
with that payoff there. Dude, my legend of the week is, um, just some random guys on call of
duty. Uh, my friend Danny Babona, baseball coach at UCI pitching coach there. Look, if you're a
young buckaroo and you can throw her hit, go to UCI and play baseball for Danny Babona. They
should call UC Newport beach. Cause it's right's right there um he's trying to like get this gold damascus thing so you have to level up each like gun in the in the game and so one of the things
you have to level up is the riot shield you have to kill a certain amount of people with the
riot shield so he's in multiplayer games trying to do that it's going to take a lifetime two like
really good call of duty guys on the other team see what he's doing and they start running up to him and letting him kill them so he can level up his riot
shield and he said they were elite like they were mowing everybody down on the
way to get to him and they gave him all those kills so he could level up these
people don't know him they don't know him from Adam but they're helping him
get to this you know kind of arbitrary accomplishment that is difficult and the
meaning is in that.
And the fact that they're helping him with that is just, I don't know,
makes me feel like the world's a better place than I thought it was the day before.
So big love to those guys.
That's beautiful.
And especially in gaming where there's so much toxicity,
it's beautiful to see something like that really thrive.
Amazing.
Chad, what's your quote of the week week my quote of the week comes from American Pie
um so Chris Ostriker Oz is is uh laying the moves on Mina Suvari I think that's her name
yep and um she's asking him to prom it's really sweet after his lacrosse game she's like i don't know if you
want to go but and but i'd love to go to prom with you and then stifler comes up and he's all
being all stifler and he's like those guys sucked ass and he's like choir chick the hell are you
doing here and um and then they continue and he's like yeah i want to go to prom that'd be great and uh stifler goes stifler goes well don't expect oz to pay for the limo
and this is my quote it's two people oz goes stifler fuck
why do you gotta be so insensitive all the time and stifler goes What?
Whatever That's my quote
Nice
What?
He's so good dude
He's so good
He's so good
Aaron
What's your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is from Back to the Future
After
Marty wakes up in a dark room
and it turns out
it's his mom's
bedroom.
And he says, Calvin, why do you keep calling
me Calvin? And she says,
well, it is your name, isn't it? Calvin Klein?
It's written all over your underwear.
So A, she's scoping his dong
while he's unconscious.
And B, I mean, who writes their underwear on there?
I mean, even in the 50s, people write their name on their underwear.
Weird.
Yeah.
Did you see the note that a producer sent to Zemeckis about that film where he was upset about the name?
And he didn't want them to call it back to the
future and it's this long email that you can read where he gives like bullet points as to why he
believes he's right about his proposed title which is spaceman from mars and he's like they should he
was so adamant that they had to call the movie spaceman from mars and that back to the future
wasn't the right title cocaine yeah but people are just using it as like reason they're like
that's why you got to trust your instincts don't listen to other people also cocaine don't let people meddle yeah that guy was
clearly on cocaine could have got i wrote that really the guy that wrote that email clearly
i think i think he was did he make good points though that's why he was like a good email you're
like oh this guy like really believes in what he's saying but at the same time you're like
he was so wrong yeah yeah literally they're trying to get back to the future it's a great name yeah
it's great it's incredible your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is going to be a paraphrasing,
and I'm probably going to get a little bit wrong,
but it's like, I don't know if it's from Winnie the Pooh or what it's from,
but it's like, you know, life, the definition of success,
they're like, is if at the end of life is measuring how much you like people.
And I'm like, that's kind of interesting. And it's interesting in this covid year of like just seeing people like how some people have been
so selfish other people have been selfless and just basically this is like all right did you
not get super rock hardened by life and and uh let it you know sort of put you in a shell but
are you still open at the end of it?
And I don't know what that fucking camera,
what it's from,
but I was watching a movie with my fiance,
and I was like, oh, I gotta bank that.
But I forget.
But anyways, it's not really a quote,
maybe more of a sentiment.
Still solid.
My quote of the week is from the film
Green Street Hooligans.
It's an Elijah Wood and Charlie Hunnam movie from like 2007, I want to say. still solid my quote of the week is from the film green street hooligans it's a elijah wood and
charlie hunnam movie from like 2007 i want to say about a an american who goes to england and gets
caught up in a firm like a football teams like a soccer teams uh fight club basically and they
fight other football teams fight clubs and uh the movie's just all about having your bros back
it's all about just like it's
really great if you're a young dude you'll love it because it's like the ultimate like morality
in the movie the ultimate virtue is that if your friends in a fight you back them up no matter what
and so it's a little juvenile but but it's powerful and i i loved it and uh it has a lot
of great lines in it where it's just dudes being badass so the big final clash is happening and like the the bad guy football team from like uh millwall is fighting the good guys from uh west ham and
they're battling it out it's a big brawl and then our main guy charlie hennem our hero pete is
getting his ass rocked by the bad guy i think his name's tommy yeah and he's beating the shit out
of him he cheated he used like a baton to wound Pete, who would have kicked his ass in a fair fight.
And his buddy, Pete's buddy, Bover,
is like out of the firm
because he got Pete's brother hurt.
But then he just starts running to the fight.
And then right as Tommy's about to land
like the final blow to kill him,
Bover just tackles him, tackles Tommy,
gets on top of him, wails on him,
ends it with a headbutt.
And then he comes over to pick up Pete's mangled body.
And then Charlie Hunt, I'm so good good he just looks and he goes old mate bubba never could turn down a good scrap and then bubba goes you know me mate and i was like these dudes are awesome
these dudes are cool um so i watch them on youtube a lot it gets me fired up oh yeah
chet what's your phrase that we forget after it uh my phrase that we forget after it is uh
up hell yeah chet what's your phrase that we forget after it uh my phrase that we forget after it is uh let's for real rip our jeans dude that's pretty good that's badass that's really good
aaron what's yours where we're going we don't need roads smart strides fucking let's go
nice uh mine is uh before you and your friends go out for drinks,
everybody puts their hand into a circle.
You put your hands on top of one of each other
like you're doing a cheer.
In like a sports game, we used to do this a lot.
And then you go best friends forever.
You go on three, best friends forever.
You say that.
It feels corny.
Feel how you feel after like you and five of your bros
do that before you hit the bar.
You feel pretty strong.
Hell yeah. I think that's the pot. you'll feel pretty strong. Hell yeah.
I think that's the pot.
That's it, dudes.
Stokers, drink fruit smash.
Leave a review.
Strider, thanks for coming on.
Thanks for having me, boys.
Freaking fired up.
Aaron, good to see you.
Thanks, Aaron.
Sean Thomas.
Let's go.
Later, dudes.
These guys are really nice
You wanna know What to do
Where to go
When you need someone to guide you
Just a half-hearted side
You're going free
Going free There's lots of half-bloods beside you Go with me Go with me
Let's go deep
Go with me
Go with me