Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 194- Ellie Kemper, Dating Friends Exes, Boners
Episode Date: July 9, 2021This week Chad and JT discuss a bevy of topics as they reflect on their week and all that's happened. Sign up for new merch here: http://www.shopcgd.com​​​​​​​​​​ Sponsored b...y Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion
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What's your dream?
Go deep.
Try to change it.
Oh, yeah.
Get into Shavasana and let's make some sausage.
What's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation?
This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad and JT podcast.
Guys, the ads will come in right now.
But I'm here with my compadre, Jean Thomas.
What up?
Boom clap, Stokers.
And dude, I'm very psyched to see
that you've got a triple drink combo thank you dude you're rocking right now what is going on
here all right dude so this is a weed vape i have a nicotine vape in my pocket this is a um cannabis
infused a social tonic it's primarily cbd though very light is there thc in there a little bit two milligrams
and four milligrams of cbd 30 cals i have some leftover vanilla latte from this morning
and then i have um a fruit smash beautiful a berry blast that's correct that just fired me up dude
what's in your belly uh some of the cereal you ate or you eat i stole some of it um it was a box of jt's cereal
and i ate some of it uh but before that i actually um uh probably you know a few ounces of raw beef
liver you did eat beef liver today yeah i'm on a two times a week raw beef liver regimen and i put
lemon juice on it and i get a la croix and i just i don't chew
it i just swallow it and let me tell you guys stoke boosted nice dude i think it's so dense
with vitamins or just nutrients and stuff that like you literally feel when it goes i swear to
god you it's like an energy drink kind of you just feel you just get like a lift in your mood nice dude yeah it's
really gross and i don't i don't advertise it and i don't tell uh potential mates about it until
we're you know at least three dates in be like hey i'm you know i can't eat tonight i'm gonna be
eating raw beef liver but uh i really enjoy it yeah that's great i'm sucked on it just for myself nice dude so that's your beef
that's my delicious beef actually it's not it tastes like shit uh that's my but it is a good
beef yeah right on yeah yeah uh well yeah that's it seems like the combo for someone who's
are you processing a lot or are you just trying to get amped?
I don't know.
I think I'm trying to get amped and then I want to tone the amp back.
I just want to be able to go in any direction at any moment.
Right.
I want to be like, hey, how do I want to feel?
And I look over here and I know I got an option for it.
That's awesome.
Yeah, that's the thing, man.
I feel like whenever I, you know, eliminate, whenever I'm living a life where I've eliminated all my vices, something's missing.
And I don't know if it's like, I do think it's part of the human condition for most people where you're like, you need something.
You need something.
For me, at least, I need something to alter my stoke a little bit, usually in the upward direction.
But sometimes it backfires.
Yeah. Alec Baldwin on his, in his podcast with Jerry Seinfeld, he called it negative excitement.
Right. He says we all have a need for that. Some of us have a larger kind of desire for it. Yeah.
And mind pump's pretty hard. Yeah. I need some negative excitement. Right. It's a way to get
through things for sure. Yeah. You know, like if you're going through something, even if it's just life,
and you're like, how am I going to get to this other side?
You're like, nah, if I have a couple beers, maybe it's easier.
Totally.
But then, you know, that's a slippery slope.
Yeah.
Then pretty soon it's a couple beers every day.
Then you're looking fat.
Yeah.
And, you know, I want to stay lean.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah, I think I get the thing.
Not that there's anything wrong with being fat.
It's legit. For sure. But, yeah, I get the thing right. Not that there's anything wrong with being fat. It's legit.
Oh, for sure.
But, yeah, I want a standard 160.
Oh, for sure.
Well, you look trim as usual, per usual.
You look trim.
Oh, dude, thanks.
You did a Murph, right?
I did a Murph.
I can't move my biceps, yeah.
I can't straighten my arms.
This is me.
That's cool.
Yeah.
What up?
It felt good, though.
My legs aren't that bad, though, which is nice the squats in the uh mile run the squats in the two miles of total running yeah
and um um but it's it's great uh it is funny when you do workouts and you advertise them
online you know especially if you have have a lot of people watching.
Most of the comments are positive,
like, dude, thank you for the inspiration.
Keep going.
But 20% are probably critiques on your form.
Hey, your vest is loose.
A bunch of shit like that.
Yeah, I put up a video of me doing a clean and jerks and someone was like, hey, dude, your chest is tight
and you need to roll it out on a ball or something like that but he was hyper specific yeah with what region
was affected and that's really interesting what the fix was but i was also like hey man i'm good
yeah yeah yeah but i do appreciate the help but i don't know i'm just not going to implement it i
don't think yeah i don't have the patience right now for stretching yeah i do find it interesting
like the mindset to be like like
clearly i know my weighted vest is loose so i don't think you need to tell me that sometimes
i'll put up a very obvious joke that i think people know i'm being sarcastic and they'll be
like hey man you should know this yeah and they'll tell me they'll take it seriously and i'm like
yeah but wait dude like i was messing around right but. But you can't say that. But that's also, I think, the sign of a good joke.
Oh, you think so?
Yeah, because I think it's, I think if it's, you know, on that line where people aren't sure if it's real or not, or if you're joking or not, I think you're in the good joke arena.
Hell yeah.
Yeah.
I think.
Because then when people get it, they it they're like oh that's really funny
yeah what else is going on how you doing i'm good uh i went to a hypnotist for quitting vaping nice
uh i don't think it worked they didn't put you all the way under yeah i resisted it the first
time i did it yeah i think it kept me from going under yeah Yeah. But I spent so much money on it that it's got to work.
Lucchese actually told me that that was going to happen too.
Our buddy Dan Lucchese said his buddy spent a bunch of money on it.
And the guy's like, the same experience.
He's like, does it work?
He's like, no, but I spent too much money for it not to.
Are you still vaping?
I did it a couple times the morning after
and then going back to the vice thing what i do is i get so excited at
at for things you know like if i just get amped on life or whatever i'm always like i need
i need a fat cold brew to amp this up i need a puff bar that's really gonna you know that's
really gonna take off and you know we're
gonna cruise right into the trailer for top gun too um so i got really excited today and i bought
one i took a few puffs and i threw it away i totally get that just building on the excitement
yeah yeah you don't want to well enough alone yeah go go bigger yeah feel more yeah that's legit
but the hypnotist was funny because i didn't
it's an hour-long session i didn't realize that he you know for the first like 45 minutes he's
just lecturing you on how bad nicotine and smoking is he's like you're putting tar in your lungs
you're putting this there's 3 000 poisons and he does this like the socratic method so he'll be
like asking you you know and like i'm terrible when people put me on the spot like that he'll be like all right so you're you're
making dinner for everyone right 20 people at the table everyone starts eating you go into the
kitchen to get the final dessert you come back out five of them are dead you're gonna eat what
what's on that table what do you oh no he goes what are you
gonna do and i'm like i was like uh i'm gonna leave the leave and he's like you're not gonna
eat it and i was like right and uh he just made me feel like a dumbass for like an hour i'm like
dude i know it's bad that's why i'm here but he did lay down that's funny to not give him the exact response he wants but like i'm gonna check the
fridge and see if there's other food right and then i'll probably check postmates yeah i'll
check their pulse and make sure that they're not all the way that'd be funny yeah what are you
gonna do if you see five dead people at the table you're like check their pulse and see if we can
save them and then call the ambulance call the paramedics for sure yeah and then maybe start eating because i'd be like a little bit nervous and then i'd accidentally
die yeah he's like okay start from scratch yeah he comes in he's like this has got to be
the stupidest addiction on planet earth like yeah i know dude so he doesn't sound like a cool guy well i think he just puts on this
hard ass sort of like scary straight exterior because then afterwards he like smiled the first
time after like the whole session he's like yeah i could see any i'm like that was fucking weird
do you think it'd be more effective if he was more laid back um i would have been more relaxed that's for sure uh yeah i don't know do you think the scared
straight approach works on people and aaron feel free to chime in on this one too i think it works
on some people yeah my parents have freaked me out before right i don't know if it like uh
you know like my dad threatened to send me to boarding school, to military school.
And then he, I think they fake told me the cops were going to come arrest me a couple of times just to let me know my behavior was like on that level.
I don't know if it ever really curbed what I was going to do though.
Right.
But I don't know when I do watch Scared Straight and they go up to those little 13 year olds.
They're like, if you were in here, you'd be a bitch. bitch you understand that you think you're a hard ass being mean to your mom
if you were in here i'd be your mom you'd be my little bitch yeah and the kid's like oh he cries
and you're like dude that's probably working yeah i guess it's who's trying to scare you straight
too like mine was like my parents you know what i mean yeah so they were like if you keep doing
this stupid shit it's gonna're going to be an idiot.
It's going to fuck up your whole life.
But they were also doing a lot of stupid shit.
So I was like, it's not connecting.
But had it been like some dude from San Quentin
who was either, you know,
who was on one side of sexual slavery.
Right.
Yeah.
I mean, if this guy came in and told me that i was going to be a
bitch if i kept vaping um i'd still vape no i i would uh i'd bail yeah but the thing is like he's
like a really tan santa monica dude with a hairpiece you know and i'm like he's like all
right i'm gonna hypnotize you now i'm like dude first you gotta explain the hair piece bro like
was it obvious it was so obvious yeah it looked like my hair on like a 65 year old dude uh and
he's super tan and he's just like no you can't trust that dude yeah i had a life coach for like
a month yeah and i was like uh i was like uh hey man i've done like a lot of like
embarrassing stuff like uh on like webcam pornography shit and then i was like do you
think i'll ever get over like the shame of it he's like yeah dude you'll get past the shame
but then i saw he had a fedora on his desk and i was like i'm not asking you dude
he just throws it on yeah that was ridiculous i was like you wear that around i was out in the
miata yeah i was like i'm sorry dude like you seem like a cool dude but i don't think you're
have a good barometer for shame i was like sorry man um but i did get over the shame of it so
he was right yeah yeah so sometimes it takes a leaky bucket you know sometimes
yeah the messenger isn't the perfect one to deliver the the message but it's the right message yeah and also i think i think the act of uh
taking steps to you know doing things to to quit that that goes a long way i totally agree with
you yeah but i think part of me i just the natural sort of rebellious spirit wanted to be like man
fuck you i'm just gonna keep vaping i think that's why i just ripped mine yeah i love these poisons
and these chemicals there is something too that when you start vaping you're like you're like
all right i know this is bad for me but i actually feel better doing something that's bad for me
because i'm not being as protective of myself like i think sometimes i can go so far the other way then i'm like no i can't do anything wrong because i could
like be bad for my health or make my life shorter yeah and then it's like is that any way to live
yeah like maybe you should kind of live your life like devil may care and it's like yeah all this
shit's bad for me but i'm just going out 100 miles an hour right i'm just gonna live it to the hilt
and come what may right totally i like that but there's balance yeah yeah for me with the
vaping it's uh it gets to the point where i just get so much so much anxiety from it that i'm like
it's hard it makes life harder which which is where i'm which is where i start to draw the line
yeah yeah i think that's true it does anxiety worse. Because it stops fixing the anxiety pretty quickly.
Yeah. I think it just jacks up your heart rate and your thoughts start racing.
Literally, if I don't vape for a while and then I hit one, weird sort of worries will start coming up.
I'll be like, why am I worried about that right now? These things just start coming up i'll be like why am i worried about that right now
you know it's it just started these things just start coming up interesting yeah i'll be like you
know uh i'll start thinking about like you know ufos and all that weird shit and yeah yeah i was
having stuff i worry about i was having weird worries last night oh you were do you ever get
worried like that you uh Like that you, uh,
just that you talk shit on someone and it's going to get back to that person.
Oh yeah.
I was,
I got kind of cornered.
I had,
I had talked shit on this guy to a friend like months ago.
And I said some stuff I shouldn't have,
you know what I mean?
Nothing too bad,
but like just like too much information.
And then,
uh,
and like personal stuff,
like stuff that was like uh where i was like
wouldn't reflect well on me if it was like a lot of people were talking about and then
and then uh the dude i had been talking to had a party and the guy was there and then the guy left
and then i walked into a room and my friend who I had been talking shit with was with two other
people he's like hey we're talking shit about that guy you remember you talked shit on him to
me that one time and I was like he didn't say it like that but that was like basically what he said
and I was like and then I was like oh I don't know if I want to get into this and I was like yeah
yeah he's kind of a squirrely guy whatever whatever right and then I walked down and I was
like oh fuck dude because the two people that were in there also talking shit does this all make
sense yeah was
this last night no this was a couple nights ago okay and then what were we doing last night uh
nothing yeah yeah i don't know but so the two people who were oh i know you oh i know where
you're okay so the two people who were in there like they i know they like to talk like they'll
spread goss yeah and i was like oh shit dude this thing's
like it's like that thing in doubt the play down the movie doubt where he's like gossip is like
feathers in a pillow you open it up and then it gets caught in the wind and you can't you can't
bring them and you can't bring them back in right but i love to goss yeah i love to goss but you
gotta be careful with it it can get around you do i mean and then if someone confronts you about like hey dude we you're talking smack or even if you just hear that
they know that's almost just as bad you feel so bad you feel so bad you feel so small yeah someone's
like i heard you did this behind my back and you're like i'm sorry yeah it was wrong yeah yeah
that was such a big deal in like grade school. Oh, in high school too.
Yeah.
I'd be like, I remember I had a crush on this girl, Ariel.
I'd be like, dude, yeah, Ariel, what up?
I'd be like to my friend Peter, I'd be like, dude, what's good with Ariel?
Do you talk to Liz?
Do you talk to Nicole who talked to Ariel?
And he's like, yeah, man, she's talking shit on you.
She thinks you're an
asshole we were in fourth grade i was like oh fourth grade yeah that sucks that's worst case
scenario yeah why was ariel saying that i don't know i think i was maybe a little bit of a prankster
when i was younger and i would just i had a buddy sean and we would just get up to shenanigans so maybe oh i think we picked on this kid mark a little bit because he ran funny
i'm laughing about it now just him and b he fucking ran like this
anyways what can you do what's funny it's funny exactly yeah i should have told ariel that i'm
like look what's funny is funny do you want to make out or not?
Oh, you were trying to make out?
I didn't kiss anyone yet.
But I mean, that was what I was dreaming about.
I remember in fourth grade, I had these romantic, you know, there's got a major crush on.
And I'd be like driving my family by like a cornfield.
And I'd be like, man, if I could just roll around the cornfield with ariel and just you know
we'd be making out that'd be like my life would be made i always imagine running into them like
my parents were like hey we're going to get like a breakfast on sunday at like at the pier yeah and
i'd be like maybe shelby will be there right yeah and then we'll run into each other and the parents
will talk and then her and i will be able to go down the pier solo. Yeah. And we can just like bask in each other.
Yeah.
Those are the best.
Those are, your mind is completely in fantasy land at that point.
That early romance.
Mm-hmm.
It's nice when you're older and you're like,
all right, well, I can take more steps to make this happen.
Yeah.
When you're in fourth grade, you got, what can you do?
Yeah, you can't play it cool.
You're living in like different kingdoms
that are separated by by moats and forests
and thousands of soldiers, either family and friends.
And you've got to go through messengers, too.
Yeah.
You've got to go to Liz, who's going to give a note to Shelby,
who's going to give a note to Ariel.
And you've just got to trust that they're all working for you.
I've been called out a few times for talking shit.
Really?
Where people are like, hey, I heard you were talking shit.
Yeah.
And I think half the time I've owned it.
Now I'm better about it, but when I was young, I was like,
nope, never said a bad word about you.
Yeah.
I was like, those are rumors and innuendos.
Yeah.
You can't give voice to that.
Yeah.
It was too hard.
Yeah.
I imagine you were at school at that time
yeah because then you have to go to school with them yeah you got english class oh brutal that's
why like real housewives is such an effective program yeah because it's like they're always
talking shit yeah it always gets back to the person and then they fight that's like every
episode in a nutshell. Yeah.
But I really relate to it.
That's why when I watch those shows, I'm like, yeah, this is about as real life as it gets.
Right.
And the fights that they have and like the pettiness and the way that they enact that pettiness, it's so, I don't know.
It's just like high school.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And high school keeps going.
It happens forever.
I think that's like a big theme of the pod.
Totally.
Yeah. it never stops
even in your like 50s i assume totally yeah let's think i mean let's think that i mean we're like
we're out here dating you know and you think and i do have more of a firm grasp on like my emotions
and stuff for the most part totally but i get so i i still get so you know
there's like a girl that i like you know we'll go on like one date now and in my mind i'm like
this is it this is it and i'll just be like and then you just get in that you know psycho mode
where you're just like that's the best though when you go on one date and you picture your
lives together and you're like, makes sense.
Yeah,
totally.
It's so ridiculous.
Yeah.
But I'm able to compartmentalize it more and, and sort of like have like a couple days of like high school obsession and now,
and then like,
you know,
break free from it a little bit,
but it's still,
I mean,
it's still very susceptible to that.
Or you can feel it,
but you don't let it you know I
don't turn into anything actually like yeah you feel all those feelings you're like oh my god like
I'm in love with this girl and she won't respond to me right but instead of being like hey what's
up like how can you haven't responded you're just like I'm just gonna let it sit yeah but the feeling
is there it's just there's a little more self-control totally yeah you don't act on it
the frontal lobe has slowed yeah you don't act on it
as much and when you're on the date you're like all right i'm gonna i'm gonna sit back and i'm
just gonna you know give cool eye contact and just she's gonna be like wow this guy is so
in control of his emotions meanwhile in my mind i'm like i'm getting nrbs non-stop you are uh
you get boners on dates oh yeah for sure that's awesome yeah but
you don't tell the person you have a boner no yeah for sure you got to be polite no uh
no i i uh i do the uh the texas tuck and which i we learned that you know do the texas tuck and i
beeline it to the b-ring texas belt buckle Yeah. What pops that boner for you? What's the moment during the date?
If we're vibing, yeah.
If I say, yeah, I did an ice bath, they're like, oh, that's really cool.
I'd like to try that sometime.
Oh, so if they appreciate your interest.
Yeah.
That gives you wood.
I'm just raging.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
I mean, it's and i'm just oh you know if they talk about beef
liver another one of your uh yeah if i reveal that come yeah if i reveal that and they're like
yeah i like beef liver i've tried it before i'm like oh you come a little yeah dude that's awesome
it's awesome too that it's built around like kind of like emotional understanding because i thought
you were gonna say it's their tits that get you hard.
Oh, no, I'm past. I mean, I definitely admire the female form. But right now I'm just really, really psyched on connection.
That's what's up.
Yeah. I'm like, yeah, I like Eckhart Tolle. They're like, I love Eckhart Tolle. I'm like, you know, take me camping right now because I got a tent.
You're pitching a tent?
Mm hmm.
Dude, that's awesome. You know what makes me get a boner? Yeah. Take me camping right now because I got a tent. You're pitching a tent? Mm-hmm. Dude, that's awesome. You know what makes me get a boner?
Yeah.
Is if the girl's like, hey, I don't care if the guy I'm seeing is able to get a boner.
Boom, dude.
Wow.
Pressure's off.
Wow.
And then the big guy comes to stand.
That's awesome.
I complain about this site so much that the answer is I should just stop going.
I complain about this site so much that the answer is I should just stop going but I went to AV club and they did a article about how Allie Kemper is in
trouble. Did you see this? I saw that. Yeah. Allie Kemper,
Allie Kemper from Kimmy Schmidt, Allie Kemper. I'm sorry.
She's in trouble for a,
she was part of like a beauty pageant when she was like 18 that has gorgeous,
but it has like a racist past.
Like,
and I think,
but that's what I'm saying.
It was like,
they were like,
yeah,
in the 1800s,
they were hard on African Americans and Jewish people.
And I was like,
well,
I think we could all guess on the historical moment that we're pulling from
that they probably weren't good or ideal,
but they're calling her racist for winning the thing.
But,
and,
and kind of assuming that she knew that it had an ugly past,
but I don't see it.
Was her,
was her like special skill,
like blackface or no,
no,
she's just,
she just looks like she's in a,
yeah,
that's stupid.
That's not her.
Oh,
but look,
they changed the headline.
What's the headline. It used to be ali kemper has a racist past and now it's ali kemper participated in a ball with
racial with racist skeletons in its closet oh they changed it i think they backed down a little bit
they must have known they were they must have got a lot of blowback for that yeah that's good
yeah i mean but that's such a nothing story now
it always was a nothing story yeah like i'm like you did a thing that had a thing
had a thing yeah and you're assuming she knew yeah she's born in the 90s no shit how old is
she and we're going after ellie kemper like yeah ellie kemper's a racist maybe
that's the peak of cancel culture that's what i'm saying it's like we're going after ellie kemper
now yeah come on you know when she saw that she probably felt so bad yeah like she was at home
and she was like oh my god i'm racist yeah she's like so sweet i don't oh my god oh my god oh my
god oh my god oh my god oh my god i'm racist am i racist she probably like called like 10 people
and was crying and apologizing they're all like hey you can chill
you're a good person yeah she's like no i'm race like i don't know i just yeah going after
kimmy schmidt i think was a bridge too far yeah bros i got it we got the big one
ellie kemper's racist never said anything racist isn't doing anything racist in the photo
like literally the picture of her is just a sweet 18 year old girl yeah like at a beauty pageant and
she's like i was up to the camera you're like what are we nailing this person for yeah yeah guess
what every beauty pageant has something horrible that's happened in it yeah and anything that has
its roots in like the 1860s that is uh originated
with white people probably was racist as fuck yeah when i read that headline i i thought they
were saying that she was in like a legit like kkk event that was like you know it was like she was
with like what's his face duke what's his name uh david duke David Duke, you know, and he's like you're you're a beauty queen for the cake
That's what that's what it read as to me like that's how they portrayed it. Yeah, little miss grand wizard
This is a hell of a story
That's how they that's how they were that's how they trained on Twitter
That's so ridiculous. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. that's so ridiculous oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my
god i'm racist oh my god honey she tells her husband like it's like breaking she's like honey
i'm so sorry to tell you i'm racist she's like crying yeah yeah i'm so sorry to tell you i'm
so sorry to tell you i just found out i'm racist oh my bad yeah that was crazy i was on comms and
i was just like ellie kemper huh that's who we're going after. Got her.
Should we do some questions?
Yeah.
All right, let's do it. By the way, check out this little nugget.
Oh, dude.
So cute.
She's rolling over.
It's so good.
All right.
What up, fellas?
Long-time listener of the pod, first-time writer.
This question is mostly directed to Chad,
but I would still love to hear everyone's advice. Me and my best bro live in the South Bay. What up, fellas? Long-time listener of the pod, first-time writer. This question is mostly directed to Chad, but I would still love to hear everyone's advice.
Me and my best bro live in the South Bay. What up?
We've always been beach rats, but recently have the strongest desire to drop knee on some waves.
The issue, however, is we're grown men in our mid-20s and are intimidated by starting the lifestyle so late.
Surfers' body borders are notorious for being territorial.
And even though we're a couple of locs ourselves we're afraid
it's coming across as total shoobies what advice do you have for two bros wanting to drop knee
how we do how do we find a decent beach and the courage to hit some waves
thanks love for the pod and stoke you bring well dudes i'm fired up that you wrote into the pod
um massive what up and uh stoked that you're considering dropping knee i think uh
as with anything you do it's all about the energy you bring you know your your energy your etiquette
um how you're presenting yourself in this case to the osh uh if you're dropping knee with high intensity high passion uh massive stoke you know
where people can feel your froth from you know from manhattan all the way down to redondo or
maybe even palos verdes then i think you're gonna dominate in the water because you guys
have a strong desire to drop knee i think if if you want to drop knee, you've got to start dropping knee ASAP.
Make sure you've got that etiquette in there.
Don't drop knee in front of people who are surfing.
I think that's a big thing.
But as long as you're getting out there, you're getting those waves,
and you're dropping that knee with fervor, then I fully support you.
Dude, hell yeah. How do you feel about it? Dude, yeah, I agree support you. Dude, hell yeah.
How do you feel about it?
Dude, yeah, I agree with you.
I think...
Because we sort of grew up on different sides.
We came from different worlds.
You're a bodyboarder, me a surfer, so...
Yeah, we were kind of Romeo and Juliet of Salt Creek Beach.
I think that's the thing, though,
is you've got to just kind of assume the best in everybody
else be respectful you know be deferential especially when you're first out there but
you can't let fear get in the way of you experiencing or learning new passions you
gotta just chase them down come hell or high water so you know i hope the water's high legit for sure
what makes someone a kook just and i just love saying kook and i love the the fact that it's a
term uh i think it's people who have bad etiquette and bad energy or you know dropping in being
disrespectful um being disrespectful to the reef, all that stuff.
What up, Chad and JT and any esteemed guests? Lately, the stoke tank is dwindling in a very
serious way. I just dropped out of law school. I can't seem to find a relationship. And perhaps
most serious of all, I tanned unevenly on the first outing of the summer and can't shake the
tea lines. I'm 24 and I haven't had a serious girlfriend since freshman year of college any romance i have had has been fleeting and
unfulfilling has left me doubting my own self-worth mostly i feel worthless because i don't have the
capital to take a lady on a nice date so i don't even ask do you guys have any dank cheap date
ideas that have led to romance in your lives also any advice on the melanin situation would
be greatly appreciated p.s i live by the beach on the east coast thanks dudes uh i i think um i'm sorry to hear you're going through that my dog but you
know the early 20s that's a tough time so just know that you're not alone uh no one talks about
that how right after you get out of college it's hard you know you're in the you're in the real world
and you know i mean in college you're you at least for me you come from like a hookup culture
and then you start doing like dates and stuff where in college if you asked a girl on a date
it was like kind of weird you know and then you start and so everyone struggles with this
so i i think i would refine your approach. I think I would,
you know, I would get more focused on, uh, less focused on trying to find your happiness through
a relationship. Um, and more focused on what you're doing. You know, it's like you're 24,
you're building your life, get focused on that, get fired up on that. And then all these things, a good relationship,
a good tan will come. And also a good tan, you know, it doesn't come in just one day. It comes
in, you know, it comes with consistency. You get out there, you put in even just like 10,
15 minutes a day, it's going to even out and look golden so um i think i would just take this time
to do some you know inner work and like figure yourself out and uh and and just become a your
own ever your own beast instead of trying to uh get that validation from a relationship
totally i mean dude my lord I just think you're thinking about
it way too much. Like you can't attach your self-worth to your romantic success. And then
you're letting like your disappointment with that go deeper. And then you're thinking about all the
ways you don't feel like you're doing well in that department. And I think if you analyze anything
that much, you're going to find deficiencies. I would just try to think about other things.
And like Chad was saying, focus on other parts of your life,
like growing in your dome and growing in your soul and growing in your body.
And if you take care of that stuff, the romance thing will fall into place.
It's a good servant, but a terrible master, bro.
You can't have romance be number one
although it is you know it is kind of the biggest thing but yeah we're all susceptible to yeah look
but the more we can put it in second position or something the the better it typically works out
so and dude yeah tanning just got to stay out there. Just keep getting sun.
Yeah.
I don't wear sunscreen ever.
Yeah.
And I guess it's coming around that sunscreen's bad for you.
Yeah.
I ain't no doctor, but that's exciting for me to hear.
And you've got good genes for the sun.
I'm Colombian.
Colombian, yeah.
Yeah, I've switched to Coral Safe Organic Sunscreen.
Nice.
From Erewhon for my face.
And I guess there's no chemicals, and it helps you get the vitamin D.
I guess Coppertone stuff blocks you from getting all the good stuff from the sun.
Dude, also, if you don't have capital to take a chick out on
a date um if you don't have the capital to take a lady out on a date i think there's plenty of
dates i i don't i typically don't spend money until like the second or third day not even out of a
trying to be frugal i'm just like let's just do something low-key and so i'll go you can go get
ice cream and just walk on the beach or you can can put a couple beers in a bag and get a blanket and go to the park.
Yeah.
And just go have a nice little picnic and then just walk around the park.
I almost think that's better than going to a restaurant or something like that too.
Because you're kind of moving around.
There's a lot of stimulation and there's plenty to comment on.
Yeah.
Go on a hike.
Yeah.
Go on a hike.
There it is.
Hikes are good.
And you solve your bronzing problem. And there's nothing that women love more than a hike. Yeah. Go on a hike. There it is. Hikes are good. And,
and you solve your bronzing problem.
And there's nothing that women love more than a hike.
And you get to a scenic location.
Then you suck face.
Two things.
First thing,
first love the pod and love history is dang.
Second,
I'd like to remain anonymous.
Yo dudes,
I don't know how to say this.
So I'll be frank with y'all.
I'm a straight male in my twenties and I i like cross-dressing should i feel bad about it i kind of like looking cute and girly in my personal life but in my professional
life i dress like a normal dude is it wrong or should i stop again keep this anonymous much
thanks no dude i'm fucking fired up that you discovered this about yourself and that you're
exploring it dude i think too many people have these impulses and instincts and they judge them
and then they just live like a life of a quiet shame.
There's no place for that, dude. You get one rotation on this thing,
one spin through life on this earth. So I would, I would, yeah.
Find someone who's into it too.
And you guys can have fun exploring it together or just keep doing it solo.
Yeah.
Totally agree. I'm fired up for him i think that's you know you find your truth and so you got to live that
uh if it fires you up do it to the max one time i was at a party you know and i put on they had
wigs and i put on a wig and someone took a photo of me and the face i made in the photo like i
turned my face into a beautiful woman's face.
Yeah.
Like I was vulnerable and I was kind of like fetching in a way that I would construe as
feminine.
And then I was like, oh, I tapped into that quickly.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
It's like when you put on a, when you put on like a football jersey, you know, you're
like, all right, I'm ready to run through something.
Totally. Yeah. I through something. Totally.
Yeah.
I love that.
Yeah.
There's nothing better than partying in a hairpiece.
My best friend's younger sister.
What up legends?
I come to you in dire need of advice.
I have a thing for my best friend's younger sister and don't know what to do about it.
Last fall,
my friend's family invited me to spend the weekend with them at a cabin in North Carolina.
We live in Ohio.
My sister is 22 and I'm 29. She was obviously super young when we were in high school
and college. So I never looked at her in an attractive way. I haven't seen her in a few
years. I was shocked to see how much she had grown up when I got there. I definitely thought
she was cute, but didn't have any plans to pull anything with her as it's my dog's sister. And I
wanted to respect that as the drinks went down that night, I noticed her starting to come on to
me and we ended up making out a bunch of laughing so much and feeling around a bit after everybody else went to
bed we didn't have any other time alone for the rest of the weekend so i figured it was nothing
but some harmless fun and that would be it fast forward to last weekend his family invited me to
their place again and the same thing happened between us are you guys laughing as much as i'm
laughing i'm loving the story yeah Yeah. I'm just enjoying it.
Yeah.
I'm enjoying the ride.
And see,
that's what it is.
This is a fun ride,
right?
I'm really attracted to her and genuinely enjoy spending some time with her.
She has one more year at Dayton and is home for the summer.
And I want to take her out.
My buddy doesn't know about our hookups and I'm not sure how he would take it.
If he did,
I'm very close with him and his family.
So part of me thinks he wouldn't mind if I asked him and told him my
intentions were genuine and not just about hooking up
I feel like the age gap might be weird enough I don't know if I'm overthinking things or should
go for it I really like her and don't want to regret not doing it but I don't know if I'm too
close to the situation to see if it's a bad idea or not my mind's telling me no but my feelings
are telling me yes what do you guys think it's a tough one yeah I mean it could blow up yeah
I would just ask your buddy and if you're a good guy you'll know it's a good way. Yeah. I mean, it could blow up. Yeah. I would just ask your buddy.
And if you're a good guy,
you'll know.
It's a good way to know if you're a good guy or not.
Cause I think if your buddy's like,
yeah,
man,
that's cool.
Then you're like,
Oh,
he thinks I have like good morals and he trusts me to look out for his
sister.
And if he says no,
it could be overprotective or maybe,
you know,
he's seen you being a bunch of three ways and he's seen
you you know popping molly and and uh ditching one girl for another and you know he just doesn't
think you're you're the right dude for this role and then maybe it's time for a rethink yeah totally
agree yeah i think ask your buddy yeah just talk to the buddy um sup dudes hello all stokers
presence when this is read.
I have fallen into a sitch that has me listening to sad songs as I brush my teeth each night.
I met this girl at a party who I jived with very hard over beer pong, which we destroyed him.
Then my buddy tried to hike home.
So I got a ride to get him.
And I said farewell to this fair lady.
But then she said she was coming with.
What?
On the way.
He wrote in what?
On the way to get germ.
I complimented her hair.
Germ.
J-E-R-M?
It's the guy I assume they're picking up.
Right.
I learned that she has that condition where she loses hair all the time.
I thought twice about it that night, but then developed a huge connection with her as we
continued to hang out.
She gave me her last taco when we went to our favorite taco truck, which made me feel
like this could be a relationship.
The trouble came when she told me she had recently got out of a four-year relationship
when she was feeling vulnerable, which he spelled as venerable iris venerable
would be pretty hilarious if she was feeling venerable worthy of admiration and and uh high
esteem i respected that hard and tried to continue our stoke we hung out at parties with each other
but one night where i planned to watch b-ball and eat brisket i ended up at a party she was at and
came on a little strong it wasn't super bad i just made out with her too much in front of her
friends dude just shut up just shut up it made her think about her previous oh no i'm sorry it
made her think about her previous relation she stopped texting me after that night i don't think the making out is what did that
though yeah that's not your i think you were already heading in that if she was already
feeling this then yeah yeah so i don't mean to laugh i'm sorry man i still really like her no
no if i should keep going for her or if so how should i well you're just in a tough spot man
the timing's bad i don't think you've done anything wrong it sounds like you guys had a
cute connection it sounds like you were just letting her know how you feel but
what did the hair thing have to do with that we didn't need that detail yeah i think he's just
showing that they connected deeply and that he accepted her for who she is okay but he's kind of
maybe virtue signaling a little bit with it maybe maybe i just died as a little rude to her story i
don't think it's necessary yeah it's kind of like don't, why are you making it such a big part of her identity?
Yeah, and also, if he's trying to be anonymous, that's not helping.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Chet would say you.
Yeah, I think it's just bad timing.
I think best move now is just give her space.
She's in a weird spot right now.
I think best move now is just give her space.
You know, she's in a weird spot right now.
I think, you know, maybe in time when she's had time to heal from the breakup a little bit more, you can reconnect.
I don't know.
Yeah.
That is tough when they, you know, they could have a big break.
You know, it's... It's bigger than you.
Yeah.
Like she has to go through her own course of things.
She has to process it. And like whatever guy was going to come after that guy was going to be... That's how than you. Yeah. Like she has to go through her own course of things. She has to process it.
And like whatever guy was going to come after that guy was going to be,
that's how it happens.
It's just when you,
when you're in a really deep,
big relationship,
the next person is always kind of a reminder of the last person.
It just,
it just goes that way.
Yeah.
But I do,
but I don't know.
I think in time she'll circle back.
Yeah.
Chris Messina and Celeste and Jesse forever,
you know, Rashida Jones.
She still needs to process the breakup with Andy Samberg.
But once she gets to the other side, she gives him a phone call.
And she's like, hey, I'm ready now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a movie.
So it's a bit on the nose.
But real life happens that way, dude.
I think she's going to just give her some space.
Yeah.
Give it a few months, I think.
Yeah.
Like real space.
Like go do your own thing for a couple months and then revisit.
Yeah.
But like genuinely try and give her time because i think if you keep pressing it's gonna she's gonna
like shell up more yeah i think it's cool you guys are making out in front of all of her friends
that's awesome i like him just going for it like that yeah dude making out in front of people is
the best oh yeah remember when i was when uh when Caroline and I first got together and we went to that bar with my buddy Gabe
and we were just making out the whole time?
Did I love it?
You loved it, yeah.
Yeah.
I think you did.
Yeah, I loved it.
You're like, dude, I've never seen you make out that hard before.
I loved it.
Yeah.
I love seeing people make out at a bar.
Yeah.
It's the best.
Just going at it.
I've definitely been that obnoxious couple.
It's not obnoxious
yeah of course that's yeah you guys were hot and heat aaron i saw i think it's on your anniversary
you posted pretty like you know hot and heavy photo of you and your wife where you're like
from our engagement photo shoot yeah the dirty dancing shot i call it is it yeah dude you gotta
see it oh let me see it it's awesome i screenshot it because i was so fired up pull it up yeah you got it you got to
make out at the bar you gotta make my wife the friend this was the girl before oh okay it was
at the abbey on halloween so we're like the only straight couple that's hot super making out yeah
i guess that you know but yeah maybe i didn't know i was pining over this girl for you right
but you got to be deferential to the gays when you're at one of their bars
i mean i was i hope um hey bros want to start off by saying chad you were an absolute beast
for hitting that murph workout on Memorial Day.
Also, JT, you've been looking jacked on the pod lately.
Keep up the good work.
You're both Adonises.
My friend and his girlfriend broke up a year ago, allegedly because he cheated on her.
This really bummed the whole squad out because we'd become really close friends with her, and she was just as much a member of the squad as he was. I haven't hung out with her since, but over the last year, she sent me a screenshot of my dating app pics three times while complimenting the photos and also liking me on Hinge.
We talk regularly over Messenger on Instagram, and she's been posting some smoking hot pics lately a quick visit to the drill factory is a quick visit to the drill factory means he's
masturbating to her is enough to quote my impulses every now and then but this may not work forever
i don't think i'll act on him but because he cheated on her would it still violate the bro
code to hook up with his ex one of her otheros dated and is now married to another ex of his,
which was really hard for him to get over.
Do you think this is potentially,
she's potentially trying to use me as a revenge tactic on him?
I'm trapped between my horniness and my heart right now
and would love to hear your thoughts.
We're all in our late 20s
and we've been friends with my bros since high school.
I, I never, I wouldn't go so far as to think their intentions are malicious
and i just yeah i just i just trying to assume that about people but that's a tough call i think
you'd have to i think you have to gauge how much you like her if you see a potential you know maybe
maybe it's worth going for but if you're just looking to hook up um you know i don't think it's worth going for, but if you're just looking to hook up, you know,
I don't think it's,
you'd be on the other side of that
and you'd regret it,
I think,
because you'd hurt the relationship
with your buddy.
So I think you'd have to really,
I think you have to really think deep
about what you're looking for
in this situation.
Yeah, I agree with Chad too.
Like, I don't know enough
to say like oh uh she's doing it to get back at him you know yeah but i mean it could be a part
of it yeah yeah it crossed your mind you know yeah i and dude i don't know i just think there's
so many yeah this guy's not the ideal dude, but he is your buddy. I think you just gotta, again, if the feelings get to a point where you think it's
like true love, then yeah, I would talk to him about it first. But, uh, I don't know. I just
think there's so many people you can date and having that kind of discipline where you respect
those boundaries, I think is good for yourself. Like you'll feel better about yourself. I think
if you went through with this, you might always feel like a little bit shady yeah and uh it'd just be nicer to think
of yourself as someone who has respect for for those kind of boundaries but i don't know and
then yeah this already happened to your friend once where his buddy married his ex if i was him
and two of my buddies were seriously dating my exes i'd feel kind of like uh i don't know i'd feel like you guys were
kind of like taking too much from me or something like that yeah yeah not that you have like you
know uh not that these people belong to you but it is weird to just be pulling from that same pool
it'd be tough for me to process for sure yeah like if me and strider both started dating like
exes of yours yeah i think you'd be like dude it's like the fuck is going on here yeah
we're in the podcast i'm like and with my bros
and not keep me anonymous but it's me reading striders right here
yeah i don't know what do you guys think about this question
i'm here with my compadre, John Thomas.
See, I kind of go the opposite way as Chad.
It's like, I think if he's just looking to hook up.
Just hook up?
Yeah, but if you want a relationship,
that's where things get a little trickier.
Right, right, right, right.
Relationship with your buddy's ex is... A hookup that he's never going to find out about
and you're never going to bring up.
Hook up and not tell him about it.
Yeah, if it's just to get that out of your system with this girl
right but if you want more that's where it gets a little tricky yeah but what if she blows that up
he's got to deal with that i mean and what if he does i mean i was going to ask also how long
did you podcast together yet it's definitely gonna blow, I was going to ask also how long. If they do podcasts together yet.
It's definitely going to blow that up.
I was going to say how long have they been broken up to?
Because that makes a huge difference.
Right.
If it's super recent then.
Yeah.
All right.
It's a couple of years.
This is a similar. He's got to move on.
If you have.
Yeah.
Totally.
This is a similar question, but slightly different.
What up to the Greek gods of Stoke themselves,
and what up to Strider and Joan, whoever may be a guest on the pod?
You guys supply me with a nonstop flow of chill vibes
and positive energy on a daily basis.
That's pretty freaking dank. Thanks, guys.
My question for you guys is this.
About five years ago in high school,
one of my closest dogs was dating this chick for a short while.
She's actually one of my girlfriend's good friends, too.
Overall, she seemed like a good fit for him,
and the squad seemed to give a big thumbs up to the relation.
They dated for a few months until it came out she had cheated on him.
Schmo move, right?
It hit my bro pretty hard, and the girl naturally got boked from the squad.
Fast forward to the present,
and my girlfriend is still really good friends with the cheater.
Recently, my girlfriend has been inviting her to do things with us,
and the girl has been inviting us to kick it with her too.
Honestly, she's a very nice girl,
and I want to believe she's grown up from a mistake back in high school,
but I'm scared about what my dog would
think if they found out I am still around
her. Am I being a schmall for being chill with
somebody who broke my homie's heart? Should I still be caught up
with something she did five years ago?
Just wondering how you guys would navigate this conundrum.
Thanks for the advice you guys got, but please
keep this anonymous as the whole squad listens to the pod.
Keep it chill and crack open a tropical
punch fruit smash for me.
Hell yeah.
keep it chill and crack open a tropical uh punch fruit smash for me hell yeah um what is uh so she cheated yeah five years ago i think when they were in high school too five
years ago now she's starting to hang out with them not with all the guys he's hanging out with
her because his girlfriend hangs out with her right right which to me is like a total pass
i think yeah i think that's totally cool if you were hanging out with her independent of your girlfriend
uh i still think that'd probably be okay unless your friend was like super i have a friend who
something similar happened to him and he was very sensitive about us hanging out with her so
i try to be respectful of that yeah um but you know sometimes circumstances supersede like you
know your preference and you just kind of are along for the ride.
So I don't know.
I don't see any issue here.
I think you're nice to think about it,
but I don't think it's an ish.
I totally agree.
I don't see an issue.
Especially if you cheated in high school.
That's what high schoolers do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would hate to be thought of as limited to my morality in high school
yeah that would not
it would not be easy
for me yeah totally agree
it's a fucking psychopath
um
Chad who's your beef of the week
um
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My beat for the week is, so I did the Murph.
This pod is probably going gonna come out a couple
weeks from today but i did the murph uh on memorial day which is you have a weighted vest
20 pounds one mile run 100 pull-ups 200 push-ups 300 body squats and uh another mile run and i did the first part at the gym because i don't have
a pull-up bar now at this gym you have to wear a mask and i posted the first video me running
with the mask on and this happens all the time i post stuff with with matt with a mask on you know
it's like just be like with the mask are you serious or they'll be like one guy
goes with the mask on huh are you virtue signaling or like what's going on here i'm like no it's the
rules jackass it's the rules at the gym i need to use the gym to use the pull-up bar
they make you wear a mask what do you want me to do you know it's like you aren't you aren't
you aren't sticking it to the man by commenting that or you know you're not that's not truth to
power you're just being a fucking dickwad yeah if you're a navy seal i'll take it but if you're
just some regular dude and you think you're hard because you don't wear a mask at places it's like
no dude yeah all right yeah i don't i don't think you're tough yeah i'm like yeah i'm wearing a mask because that's how i
got into you know that's the rules at the gym and i don't think i'm more in big brother's back pocket
than you are yeah okay yeah if i did my way i wouldn't be wearing the mask i don't like wearing
it no i don't like wearing the mat you know it's but it's like it's like that's the rules at the
gym you know they wouldn't let me in the gym if i wasn't you know so it's just like it's just so annoying um and if you don't want
to wear a mask in there and you want to get in trouble that's fine i'm not gonna like harangue
you at this point but yeah you shouldn't have an issue with someone else choosing to wear a mask
yeah this whole like fucking like it's like oh you're wearing a mask in there dude it's like it's like
well what are you doing that's what that's why i always ask these people who like come in with that
with an attitude it's like what are you doing you fucking bellend that's the end of a dong
that's the that's the you know that's the that's the end of a dong that's the most sensitive part
because that's what you are. You're sensitive.
And that's why you're coming at me with your bullshit sensitivity.
That you see my mask and you're like, oh, I'm a bellend.
I'm going to comment.
Be like, why are you wearing a mask?
Because it's the rules.
It's always the dudes who are saying like, hey, I'm a badass who are the most sensitive.
You see it in comedy all the time.
A guy will go up there and do a bunch of edgy jokes yeah and then someone's like hey i think you're a piece of
shit for doing those edgy jokes no you think i'm a piece of shit and you're like whoa well dude look
you're the one who is trying to be that guy yeah you know what i mean so don't don't don't want it
don't have it both ways yeah yeah if you're cool not wearing a mask just don't wear a mask you
don't tell other people oh you're wearing a mask yeah i mean look i'll give some of my friends a little guff about it
but someone i don't know over instagram no yeah especially when it's like it's it's not like i'm
outside running with the mask on i was in a i was in a gym anyways they really just fired me up i
didn't respond to him but i was just like it's just so the mask isn't only for you though it's for other
people as well exactly yeah that's what it's totally for yeah did you guys see the fauci emails
no big big drove of fauci emails came out yeah i read into it but i saw the headline well it's
funny i read like the bbc article and it didn't really like shred them that much. They were just like, yeah,
he wasn't sure about like the origins of the virus.
And like, he might've, uh, uh,
known that like masks were not good at blocking, uh,
infection, but maybe good at preventing possible infection to other people.
It was all stuff that I kind of already knew, but then I, my,
my doctor buddy was messaging me about, he's like, no, dude,
if you read all of them,
it seems like he was totally playing to the media narrative
and that he was very conscious about being in line with that.
Almost like he wasn't leading the media narrative.
He was following it.
Right.
But I haven't read any of it.
So this is all me just regurgitating.
I've decided I just don't want to read anything anymore.
I'll just talk to people who do read stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'll just catch it that way.
Totally.
Aaron, who's your beef of the week?
My beef of the week is with my wild mind.
Oh.
It's just, you know, I don't have trouble falling asleep anymore at night.
But, like, staying asleep has really been tough lately.
And I just wake up and i just have the stupidest thoughts
that i need like my buddy and his wife just found out they're having a baby
i woke up last night like what am i gonna what am i gonna text him who cares like you just do
it tomorrow like right i don't need to think about it at night yeah are you worried about
that yeah it's it's just the dumbest.
And it's something like that every night.
What are you going to text?
I already did.
I mean, I just.
What did you hit him with?
Just like it's more fun than you can even imagine.
That's a great message.
That's, you know, that's how I feel about it.
That's awesome.
Do you think the worrying led you to that great message, though?
Or do you think you could have had that great message without the worrying?
I could have had it without the worrying.
There you go.
I could summon that beast. Yeah, yeah it's just it's crazy i mean like i've i've said i think i've said in the pod before
like in october if the cardinals are in the playoffs i'm thinking about who needs to be in
the lineup who needs to be sitting where they need to be i'm not in charge i don't who move on
like sleep you stupid animal just sleep you need that it's more important you
have a family and work to do that was a beautiful distillation yeah i vibe with you on that too
i wake up early and my mind's racing i'm like what the fuck yeah yeah mine's at night as well.
My Beef of the Week is with Tito Ortiz.
Oh, nice.
Sort of a friend, a foe.
Just someone that we've asked a lot of and who hasn't really answered the call,
but maybe it was too much to ask.
Basically, Tito Ortiz is the former 205 champion of the UFC,
the Huntington Beach Bad Boy.
Bleach blonde blonde hair ground and
pound specialist uh who in a uh in the second act of his life after being a fighter decided to join
the huntington beach city council and was the pro tem mayor and he was controversial because he would
uh you know represent some uh beliefs from like q anon and because he uh wouldn't wear a mask
in the,
it doesn't have domestic violence charges on him.
Yeah.
And he's got some darker stuff too.
And,
uh,
Chad and I,
Chad and me asked him to come protect us because we were being maliciously
bullied at the skate park for being scooter riders by,
uh,
two 14 year old kids.
And,
uh,
yeah,
they've continued to bully us and they,
they mistreat us and they call us names
and they they just basically ruin my good time and i can't go to the skate park and just have fun
because these freaking kids who i don't even want to name them because i don't want to give them
more pub than they deserve but basically they're just they're just mean dude and uh we asked he
to come help us and both times he didn't. And we ended up getting verbally and somewhat physically abused.
And now he is resigning from the city council.
He's abdicating his position and abdicating his responsibility.
And I think Tito, when you make a commitment to something, you need to see it through, dude.
All right.
There's a lot of us in Orange County who can't go outside and we're afraid of what these gnarly kids are going to do to us.
And we thought you were the guy who could protect us.
And I'm sorry to be disappointed, but I am.
So Tito Ortiz, you're my Beef of the Week.
You know, I thought about this a lot.
I meditated on it this morning.
We gave him an opportunity to be Bruce Wayne.
We gave him an opportunity to save Orange County from the bullies.
And he bailed.
Yeah, you couldn't handle the pressure.
So now I don't know who it's going to be.
Who's the lady mayor of Huntington Beach?
I don't know, but I like her a lot.
She might be able to throw some hands.
Yeah.
We should ask her if she'll spar.
She might be able to beat up these 14-year-olds.
Chad, who's your babe of the week
my babe of the week are my biceps right now because i can't i can't fully extend my arms
because they're so sore and i just want to give a shout out to my biceps for giving daddy the
hurt that he craves dudes thank you so much for making me sore uh i've been walking around like i'm just constantly flexing i love it
um dude what up to my biceps man yeah nice dude and who's your baby of the week my baby of the
week is the submarine king in burbank it's a sub shop, at the corner of Olive and victory. Hell yeah.
Uh,
I've been going there a lot lately.
Um,
Mike Bertolino,
who's been mentioned on the show,
turned me onto it,
went there today.
Just super nice people.
Super nice vibe.
Great bread,
great sandwiches,
great price.
You know,
there's not,
it's like the tax is already included.
It's beautiful.
I even got a,
a drink today and it was like, cost nothing.
It was amazing.
Nice, dude.
Yeah, we should,
we should,
you know,
if you're,
if you're trying like me,
trying to avoid the chains,
subways,
and the Jersey Mike's of the world,
although Jersey Mike's is delicious.
It's nice to support a local business.
Nice.
My baby of the week is
the loaded baked potato.
I think it might be the best item of food. You know, it's a couple things that go together in it, but I'm going to call it one item of food that you can order off any menu. I got one from Wood Ranch a week ago. Loaded. Emphasis on the loaded. Bacon, chives, cheese, butter, sour cream. I told them to double up on the sour sour cream they never give you enough when you get it delivered so i said hit me with two of them and man i slathered that thing up and
i put it away quickly and i felt amazing so loaded baked potato you always deliver you can't have
a bad loaded baked potato because all those individual items are almost impossible to botch
you know no one cooks a bad potato. Bacon almost always comes out right.
You know, it can be varying degrees of goodness on it,
but even bad bacon's pretty good.
And then, you know, cheese, sour cream chives,
how are you going to go around there?
So I don't know.
It's just a perfect thing that you can always count on,
and I just couldn't be more thrilled to be eating them.
Dude, that made me so hungry.
You want one?
Yeah.
You want a loaded baked potato?
We'll get one after this.
Let's load it up.
I'll boof it.
More guys should say that to their friends.
Hey, let's go get some loaded baked potatoes.
Dude, we should redo the scene in Swingers
where he's comforting Jon Favreau, I think.
He's like, you know what you need when he's all sad?
A loaded baked potato.
You need a loaded baked potato.
You'll feel better.
And people go out and they get pizza or they go get spaghetti.
And, you know, those are carb-centric entrees.
No one considers the loaded baked potato an entree, but it very well could be.
Totally.
It has that versatility.
Chad, who's your legend of the week?
Okay, so I've been going back to the gym, hitting the steam room.
Nice.
And, you know, this was a moment where I was like, man, life is getting back to normal.
I was in the gym, and my legend of the week is the first dude in over a year that I saw dropping dong at the gym.
Nice.
And here's the kicker guys
mask on what mask on dong out first off yes but the real kicker is he had a small dong yes
first one through the door guy with a little dank of course i can't tell you how much it fired me
up i literally kenny logan started going off in my head and I almost shook his hand.
I was like, dude, props to you and that tiny dong.
Love it, man.
I always say what up.
Yeah.
If I see a dude with a little dick like me at the gym, I'll drop trout first so he knows
I'm not poking fun.
Yeah.
But I'll walk over and be like, dude, my dog.
Yeah.
Brother in arms.
And he's like, in what arms?
I'm like, small dong army, baby.
Yeah. Dude, dog. Yeah. Brother in arms. And he's like, in what arms? I'm like, small dong army, baby. Yeah.
Dude, totally.
Yeah.
I was so fired up that I wanted to whip him with my towel.
So he looked over and he just saw my little dink staring back at him.
Yeah, that's a good bait and switch.
He's like, why is this guy picking on me?
And then he looks over and he goes, ah, comrade.
Yeah.
That's legit.
Aaron, who's your legend of the week?
My legend of the week is Lou Gehrig.
Nice.
It's Lou Gehrig Day in Major League Baseball today.
It's June 2nd.
It's the day he retired.
What's his nickname?
The Iron Horse?
The Iron Horse, yes.
It's also the day he passed away in 1941.
ALS.
Just reading a lot of...
Most brutal disease you can get.
Just reading a lot of most brutal disease yeah just reading a lot of um really
great articles about him and and um like how how he probably like he probably had it his last year
his entire last season yeah because he had no pop right didn't his power numbers like cut in half
still at 29 home runs amazing 29 home runs 114 rbis still bad at 295 i mean it's it's insane that that i was reading
an article that just said like his worst season was probably his best because he was he had als
and didn't know it uh yeah it's just it's just remarkable um and just like how he
well i guess he he didn't seem to really know how bad it was um at least he didn't express that to
his wife there's like a a letter he sent to his wife where he's like i got like a 50 50 shot at
this and uh probably have a cane in 15 years he was dead in two years right um but yeah just um
i mean it's just crazy how what a an amazing athlete he was to be able to do what he did with an underlying
condition like that. And also to hear some, there was,
the fact that that streak went as long as it did, there was,
there was some shenanigans that went along. There was a,
possibly a rain out that never rained, but he had the flu.
They did that with Ripken too right like the power went out
at one game
did you hear the story behind that
because he was late because he was maybe having sex with Kevin Costner's wife
I know I heard Kevin Costner was having sex
with his wife yeah I think that's it
and then Cal Ripken kicked his ass
yeah yeah that's right
because Costner was doing research like for love of the game
oh really yeah and then just went too too far with his research i love that game i've heard that
rumor it's a good movie but yeah luke garrick the grace he handled it all with yeah yeah i mean it's
just uh and the yeah the i mean it's gonna be my quote of the week but like to say i'm the luckiest
man on the face of the earth knowing that he's not long for this earth but like to live I'm the luckiest man on the face of the earth, knowing that he's not long for this earth,
but like to live the life I have lived,
I am the luckiest man,
despite all of it.
Like amazing.
Yeah.
My legend of the week is Val Kilmer.
I think,
uh,
one of the most talented actors ever.
And so many iconic performances often in supporting roles,
like he could just bring so much personality to like the second or third part, you know, namely in Top Gun, Tombstone, Heat. I mean,
he's amazing in all those movies. I was watching clips from Tombstone. And every time he's on
camera, it's just like, it's such a full performance. I mean, he looks sick, but he
looks charismatic. He's kind of a squirrely
dude but you trust him and he just brings so much to the part and so much fun to all those parts and
then he he just seems like so technically proficient like the way he could reload that
machine gun i'm like tell me an actor who could do it better because like i'm believing that this
guy's like the most effective uh uh tactical bank robber in history and he he's just uh you know he's a super good looking dude
too and and just uh yeah iconic and all these parts and you know and i think also it all looks
greater because he didn't have the kind of uh later career that a lot of his peers had you
know what i mean he's not still making hits the way tom cruise or uh who are some other big hitters
from the 90s even like nick cage or uh i guess a lot of the guys kind of fell off who are some other big hitters from the nineties, even like Nick Cage or I guess a lot of the guys kind of fell off.
Who are some other big nineties actors?
Brad Pitt.
Brad Pitt.
Yeah.
Like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise or Steven Seagal.
Like all those guys are still crushing it.
But,
but yeah,
he was just amazing.
And then the Saint,
I love the movie,
the Saint.
It's really fun, like sexy kind of espionage movie.
And he's got an issue.
And he gets to play a bunch of different characters in it.
And it's just a good time.
So yeah, I got to give it up to Val Kilmer.
He's great.
He's one of the best.
He's bang, bang.
Super good in that.
That's probably his last great part, right?
Because I don't really count MacGruber.
I was going to say the villain in MacGruber was really good too.
He was good in that.
But it was such a... There's a documentary coming out about him apparently i just saw because he's
like a christian scientist no it's just like i think it's like about his life oh really yeah
oh nice oh he's good on an episode of entourage too it's like the stoner guru weed dealer um i
can see that but yeah val kilmer from to like 94, which was a strong era.
I don't think anyone was doing it better than you.
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
Chad.
That just inspired me to watch.
I watched Under Siege last night.
Such a good movie.
So good.
Casey Reibach.
Casey Reibach.
What do you think about the fight scene when he just whoops Tommy Lee Jones?
Most of the time when you fight the main bad guy at the end,
you start to lose and then you come back and beat them but there's this thing in Steven Seagal
movies where he only ever just beats the shit out of people like he never looks like he's gonna lose
a fight yeah ever he just works everybody I posted a story of when he stabs him in the head with a
knife it's amazing and then puts him through the fucking computer it's so extra which is oh my
god yeah it's so good my family and i came to la uh in the 90s and like i forget i forget what
we're doing my parents had to like go out somewhere and they're like what movie do you want to watch while we're gone and that was
like above the law and in that like he killed he like is that the bar room one where he comes out
this is my gun this is my badge he's in the pool hall kind of kicks everybody's ass it's the one
with the jamaicans oh okay and he like takes like he takes one of their eyeball their eyes out i
mean so it's like it's the most graphic and crisp thing and i was like that's what i want to watch yeah and i've made my sister watch i'm sure
he's amazing yeah it's insane chad who's your what's your chat what's your quote of the week
uh my quote well i i guess i have two now because i just i got this text
i thought this would be one of my quotes i got this random text
from someone hi is this elliot it's amanda we spoke on bumble before when i came down to see
my aunt but we never met for coffee coffee i'm back in town right now if you still want to
actually meet up this time are you around that's my ex's name oh really are you gonna respond
i'm not elliot i'm not elliot dude one time this person i texted
this person i was like this person was like yo what up and then i was like hey what's going on
and they're like who is this and i was like you texted me and then the dude just went send pics
your four sentences into not knowing who you're talking to, and you just automatically go send pics.
It's so funny.
Also, I have one from Nietzsche.
I think this applies to me.
Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders.
For sure.
I forget everything.
It's nice.
It's a good quality.
I remember everything. In the middle of It's a good quality. I remember everything.
And I'm in the middle of the night.
I'm haunted by it.
Me too.
Aaron, what's your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is,
today I'm the luckiest man on the face of the earth.
It's Luke Gehrig and his final speech on July 4th, 1939.
Apparently, I mean, what we've seen in video
is a lot shorter than the actual speech
itself but but uh just that sentiment again of like how he understood that he's playing a game
and his he's so lucky to have been able to do it for as long as he did even though he was not long
for the world and literally like they were giving him gifts and he couldn't even hold them
like that's how how bad it was already like it's a brutal disease yeah it's the worst thing that
can happen yeah yeah the worst and uh helmet should have invented been invented a lot earlier
than they were in baseball do you think there's some correlation between him getting dinged in
the head and that's what they're saying though.
They could never,
because they still don't know why you get it.
Yeah. They could never figure it out quite.
Uh,
same thing with Parkinson's.
Like it could be a head injury thing.
I think my dad personally got Parkinson's.
He fell off a ladder and broke his hip.
And then Parkinson's came on after that.
I think that was kind of undiagnosed.
Um,
with Gary,
they,
they,
without an autopsy, they'd never know. And they never did an autopsy. So got to protect your dome. I've had a kind of undiagnosed. With Gehrig, without an autopsy, they'd never know,
and they never did an autopsy.
Got to protect your dumb.
I've had a couple concussions.
I think I'm right on the edge.
I just realized, reading these articles,
I think I've had a third one.
Really?
Yeah, that I forgot about.
I've had three, yeah.
I definitely got my bell rung really hard once.
Yeah, I got a really severe concussion
getting knocked out in a boxing fight at a party, and it was really severe. I got my bell rung really hard once. Yeah, I got a really severe concussion getting knocked out in a boxing fight at a party.
And it was really bad.
I was not conscious for like six, eight hours.
Damn.
I'm not able to remember anything.
But you still remember?
No, I just remember it was like...
No, I'm just being general.
Yeah, yeah.
I was like, I got hit at 10 and then I remembered like 4 a.m.
I was like, hey, what's going on, everybody?
Oh, shit.
And they were like...
What do you guys want?
I was like...
Just tell me one thing.
Just tell me one thing.
Why'd he punch me?
They're like, well, you were boxing him.
I'm like, that checks out.
Why'd you box him?
Like, he has a hot sister.
She's hot.
I knocked myself out in middle school uh playing touch football on a
volleyball court uh and the the guy who was like kind of watching us like supervising just like
was like hey be careful the poles out there you know don't don't crash into them or whatever and
i was like what kind of idiot would fucking do that? And sure enough, on a kickoff coverage,
just didn't even see it and woke up on the ground.
Really?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
My quote of the week, I think I've done it before,
is from the 1992 film Unforgiven by Clint Eastwood.
A lot of people think it's the best Western of all time.
It's certainly up there.
Every scene is just a banger.
And it deconstructs the Western.
It takes away the notions of good versus bad
and shows that every character has a little bit of that in them.
But the main character is played by Clint Eastwood.
William Money, I think, is his name.
And he used to be a killer of women and children,
a real bad dude, but he's changed his ways.
But he gets hired to chase down some cowboys
who roughed up some, uh,
uh, women who work at a Bordello.
And then,
um,
him and this young kid blast a couple of them.
And the kid was kind of fake in the whole movie.
Like he was a,
like a real hard killer,
but this is actually his first time killing.
And he's really shaken up.
Like he's got a lot of adrenaline and,
and,
uh,
he doesn't really know what to do with it.
He's going a lot of different directions.
He's like,
it's like,
it's a hell of a thing.
He's like,
he's like,
it's just weird that they ain't gonna be
around no more that they ain't never gonna be around no more um and then william money's like
it's a hell of a thing to kill a man take everything he's ever got everything he ever
will have i'm kind of mangling a little bit and the kid's like yeah yeah well he's trying to get
himself fired up he's like well i guess they had it coming. And then William Money just looks at him and goes,
we all got it coming.
That's awesome.
Yeah, death's coming for all of us.
Chad, what's your phrase that we forget after?
My phrase that we forget after is,
I'm going to handcuff myself tonight.
Nice.
Aaron, what's your phrase that we forget after it let's go tell him why we did it
uh my phrase that we forget after it is from tombstone it's uh it's a val kilmer's character
what's his name in the holiday it's aiday. It's Val Kilmer's character, Doc Holliday, before he has his final gun drawing shootout
with Johnny Ringo, the two fastest draws in the West.
And Johnny Ringo thinks he's going to be fighting Wyatt Earp, who he's a little bit quicker
than.
He's like, come on, what are you going to do?
Are you going to fight me?
Are you going to shoot me?
And then Doc Holliday steps in out of nowhere and goes, I'm your huckleberry.
And I don't even know what that means still, but it's just all time.
Just if anyone's ever trying to be a badass
and you're stepping up to kind of counter them
and you just say I'm your huckleberry
it's on a t-shirt I've seen it
it's awesome it's a great line
and well delivered
and then he freaks ring go out
the rest you'll have to check out
alright dudes
yeah that was great
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