Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 195- Strider Wilson Joins

Episode Date: July 14, 2021

This week Chad and JT and Strider discuss a bevy of topics as they reflect on their weeks and look ahead to the weeks that will follow.  Sign up for new merch here: http://www.shopcgd.com​​��​​​​​​​ Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code GODEEP20 at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion

We are also brought to you, of course, by the legends at Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our dogs are looking fresh and clean. Because the sun's out, the sun's out, bones are out, and hopefully your pubes are not out. But flip-flop season is upon us, and you're out here with those post-pandemic toenails? What? Don't worry, our friends at Manscaped have you covered. They just launched their fourth generation performance package,

and their Shears 2.0 nail grooming kit. What? Yep. Join the Manscaped movement by going to manscaped.com and enter code GOD20 for 20% off plus free shipping. What's your dream? Going deep. Trying to change it. Ooh, yeah. Hand me the screws and give me the screwdriver. Chad and JT.

Ooh, yeah. Hand me the screws and give me the screwdriver. Let's make love. Nice. What's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Goin' Deep with Chad and JT podcast. Guys, before we begin, oh, actually, I'll do the ad. I think I probably did the ads before this.

Yeah. I'm here with my compadre compadre john thomas what up boom clap stokers and we are here with the matrimonial maestro strider wilson what up dude freaking what up it's a fire title right there dude fired up on that dude thank you i always get a little bit fired up seeing you come up with those on the spot. For the listeners, dude, Chad always busts those out on the spot. Always fun, dude, and always flattering. Preach. Fires me up. Puts me in the right mood to cut it up and flush it out with my bros.

Preach. Of course, we got Aaron on the sticks. Massive what up. What up. And on the mic, being a legend. Is that a Kurt Russell t-shirt? Yeah. Snake Plissken.

Hell yeah, dude dude i've been on a big kurt russell binge watched dark blue yesterday good movie good movie i haven't seen it intense good oh wait i haven't seen neither damn i was thinking of narc oh that's good too it's a good movie breakdown all-time great movie breakdown's great all good movies yeah but dark blue dark blue is good yeah crooked cops la that's always a good combo lapd crooked cops All good movies. Yeah. But Dark Blue. Dark Blue's good. Yeah. Crooked Cops. LA. That's always a good combo. LAPD, Crooked Cops.

Can't go wrong. Set Around the Riots, too, is like the backdrop. Yeah. It's good stuff. Ron Shelton, writer of Bull Durham and Tin Cup and Blue Chips and Great White Hype and just a bunch of bangers, dude. Oh, that's fine. White Men Can't Jump. One of my favorites. Did he do Blue Chips? Or was thaters, dude. Oh, that's fine. White men can't jump. One of my favorites.

Did he do blue chips? He directed, William Friedkin directed it, but I think Shelton wrote it. Strider, what flavor fruit smash are you sipping on today? Went for a berry blast as per JT's recommendation, I got to tell you. Dank. Yeah.

We also have something we should probably address up top and that's you know we had probably our most heated exchange and going deep history over a write-in from someone named man the dan yeah and he was uh using like a multi-marketing tier was that what it's called the pyramid scheme or some shit to try to pursue the sacred woman he was gonna he was trying to get a date with a lady and he wanted to lead with his marketing skills and kind of ask her out under the guise of a marketing meeting, but he was really hoping to put the moves on her. And then you were distrusting him.

You called him a serial killer, right? Yeah, I did, yeah. You can check the tapes, it's there. But no, but keep that energy, right? Because... I mean, yeah, I mean, it's like, I felt then he was on social media, I felt a little bit bad,

but I'm sticking to my guns, dude. Because he wrote back in and he said, hey, I'm, it's like I felt then he was on social media. I felt a little bit bad, but I'm sticking to my guns, dude. Because he wrote back in and he said, hey, I'm just a shy guy and I just sometimes don't know how to act with women and I'm just doing my best out here, but I'm sorry I came in too hot. And I told you about that. Yeah, and you know what I did? You know what I did? What did you do?

Like that, dude. Nice. Oh, dude, he's a marketer, dude. Yeah. He markets so he knows right now i'm gonna play who's not gonna like a guy who comes in humble oh dude look i'm a shy guy it's my bad dude like i did that like you honestly you guys good call but like the thing is i'm still gonna go do it yeah he's he gonna still buy that energy dude i mean the second

half he did sound like he was gonna shift over and i And I know I'm being harsh, but I'm like... You don't trust him. I don't trust Amanda Dan. I'll tell you this, dude. I wish Amanda Dan the best. Not dating my daughter. Not my sister. You think he's playing us?

You think that apology... He's a marketer, dude. So you think when he was like, guys, I'm sorry. I was being a guy I don't want to be. You think that was all part of the plan? Calculated. Aware. Do you have something that's... Smart. Marketers? No, I don't. to be you think that was all part of the plan calculated aware do you have something smart marketers no i don't i you know what i i forget what happened like i remember like um

some who are we talking to was like a stand-up that we heard with like oh someone works in marketing they're the devil go to hell bill hicks yeah yeah probably bill if you were the devil's probably when you guys were hanging out with bill yeah yeah he was if you're a marketer why don't you just put a gun in your mouth and blow your brains out? I mean, dude, it's like, well, if you're doing comedy, we have to market ourselves and have a brand and all that shit. So everyone does. But, I mean, they do it for a company to pay.

I don't know. I guess there's ethics. If you have ethics, it's fine. Do you still think Man the Dance is serial killer? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Very calculated. Very Christian Bale-esque from, you know, he's the type of guy, you know, comparing business cards.

Yeah. So if we invited him on the pod, would you come? Yeah, of course I'd show up, dude. But would you bring protection? Would you bring, you know, like, would you bring a gun? Yeah. I would need a weapon. Yeah.

No, no, no. I'd be fine. I've been lifting weights. I've been slinging around some bells. You look all right huge thank you dude yeah what'd you do today one-armed bandit got after it nice little wad dude what are the components of one-armed bandit start off with a nice little um single arm snatch left arms 10 snatches with the left straight into the most difficult movement in the um workout overhead dumbbell lunges holding a dumbbell directly over your head while doing a lunge 10.

Then you do that with the right hand. Then you go to your left. You do, um, hang cleans followed by, um, dumbbell, single arm dumbbell squats with the left and then on the right.

And then you repeat that three times. It's a great workout. Beautiful. It's tough, man. It takes me 24 minutes, bro. What'd you do at 35,

35 solid. Yeah. When you do that, when you do a wad, like a hardcore one, you're beaten, you know, do, solid yeah when you do that when you do a wad like a hardcore wad and you're beaten you know do uh and you see your do you do you shower before you see your gf or do you sort of like come up to her heavy breathing get those pheromones in the air like and do you just sort of like just not say anything and just let it affect her i would say a blend i was going to say 100 the latter

but probably 95 because i will man the day in this i will calculate taking my shirt off knowing when she's going to come out and try to time it with that final rep when i finally have a pump yeah to you know do a prestige sort of present myself like a big presentation exactly really just give her that extra boom and then hopefully be in the um the segment i'd like to be in would probably be that the uh cleans yeah it's a nice violent powerful movement i can really bang out i can probably get tender what do her eyes do when you present that way oh they pop they definitely look over she doesn't hide it we're at a part in our relationship now well she'll hide she'll even give me a nice little fun little cat call like a i can't whistle like a what do your eyes do when her eyes pop very intense

let's see it what's the look when you recognize that someone is interested in you sexually where's my camera right here you plan on returning

the favor how do you look at that just like that what does that look mean to you means I'm presenting with horniness yet also

a very approachable horniness that's what I would hope this do you approachable horny as opposed to creepy which would be the opposite of approach it's tough with horniness it's very tough because i am horny after you lift don't you get a little bit horny the juices are flowing you're ready to go you're you feel masculine is flowing yeah your body you feel virile you're you've done a functional lifts your body's ready to function yeah we're built to fuck and so you're just like let's go but also sometimes you know you just

fine-tuned your fucking instrument correct hard ass workout this hard ass endeavor thank you and guess what lovemaking is cardio do you do you wear tack glasses while you're seshing while lifting no i'm talking about when you're making love to your DF. Oh, definitely when I'm boning. You know, I am more into direct intimacy, and the tack glasses create more of a poker aesthetic where you really can't see through what I'm looking at. It makes me an elite predator.

And when I'm boning, I don't want to be in predator mode. I'm more in caretaker mode. I could see you rocking tack glasses and just look, not even look, just looking straight at the watch. Oh dude. I mean, look, single days, male fantasy, you know, sitting, posting up, hopefully getting a beach, uh, and tack glasses or something like that would be very sick, but never happened in my life.

Never will happen in my life, but male fantasy. I think it could. Thank you. Maybe have df listen to this i think also is similar similar to the revealing the body with taking the shirt off i think having the tack glasses on during foreplay and then once you're in full coital i think putting the glasses up a little bit on your head just to make a quick eye contact. Yes. And then with those sweet doughy eyes.

I think you're onto something here because, and I think what it would take would be environment. If we were making love in a library, we would still be quiet. We would respect those studying around us. This is hot. Say my fiance and I are making love. Definite stand up in probably the history section. Yeah, encyclopedia is heavy for heavy, you know, functional. And you guys are like looking at books behind each other.

So you're both grabbing things. She's grabbing Joan's videos and then push her backwards gently and then her head very lightly hits the book. Correct. And then you come in with a... Yeah, she grabs my neck a little bit. You can do this.

Okay, for sure. Let's get in the zone. Wow. It's very nice. So she's holding you by the throat and then you're undoing your pants. Yes. How far down do you pull your pants?

Knees. Yes. Because just in case the librarian walks by, I got to be ready to go. I think you should go to the ankles. I mean, that's a bold move and I respect the hell out of you with that. I think that's the move. I like what he's saying. I think it's Eminem in eight miles style.

Yeah. Oh yeah. Great scene. Just your ass hanging out. Or your ass hanging out from your t-shirt. That's all skateboarders' bone, I imagine. Just their butts out, dude. Dude, when I used to skate.

Sagging, pop of wood. Yeah. They'd be like, take your pants all the way off. I'm like, don't. This is my journey, all right? Stay out of it. Right. You wanted to leave them on a little bit.

Mm-hmm. Who was telling you that? Shelby. Mm. She wanted you naked? Yeah. She was like, take your pants off and i'm like that's you know that's not my style i'm listening to alt rock right now you know i'm right i'm i'm core

right now do you still have your osiris's on too i had my osiris's on i was like i'm looking to kick flip after this good call uh we have only so much daylight left what do we have like we have like 15 minutes i can sesh this out in like 30 seconds and then i need at least 14 minutes and 30 seconds to bust a k flip and she lived in like a one-story like hacienda house so did you ever like skateboard all the way up to her bed and then just dismount totally yeah and then i would acid drop out of her window legit that's so sick would her dad get mad that you were like power sliding on his tiles and shit like that oh all the time yeah all the time yeah can i oh just one more thing with the tack glasses oh yeah of course just in order to lock in that fantasy and make it real yes i think next time after you do like a hard set of

cleans throw on and you see your df looking at you throw on the tack glasses and then if she like touches you like hey what are we gonna have for dinner tonight and you just shoulder arm away and you go not now babe then you just look out the window that's a great call and then being mysterious and then she's like well what's going on yeah it's just i've been thinking a lot lately about what keeping these on what do you mean keeping them on just keeping them on you know what i mean and just explore it from there that's a great approach I was going to circle back to the library what I brought up was I know where you're going

because if we're on the paintball course I would be wearing my tack glasses and if we make love perhaps in the tailgate of the car because you usually go in tailgate maybe we skip one of the speedball rounds and do a speedball round in the back of my hatchback.

And you used to masturbate to Enemy at the Gates, right? Yes, fantastic. Fantastic movie to masturbate to. Because the ass comes out in that. It's one of the best sex scenes of all time. I mean, they're under the constant threat of German artillery. They're surrounded by brave warriors their brethren their comrades it's dirty it's yeah it's very dirty there that he could go

out the next day and get sniped by um what's his face the great actor ed harris ed harris and it's one of the best lovemaking scenes by two very attractive people the only thing that throws me out of it now is understanding how dirty those conditions were and also understanding that jude probably didn't wash his hands or his piece is i'm like she 100 got a uti out of that endeavor you know what i mean guaranteed she's in uti hell right after that and dude it is a hell bro and it's like how do you explain to ed harris who's trying to snipe you that you just need to pee after sex you know what i mean it's like i'm trying to prevent uti and he's he's ready for you he's ready to put one in her i think he would understand if he knew you can't kill a girl when she's going to take a pee after boning yeah

yeah because she's just looking out for her yeah her health you know his scout or whatever would have been like oh that's a uti p yeah it's uti he just lifts the gun he's like that was close but harris is a sick man in that movie. He uses young Sasha against his own people. Right. For sure. His morality is sketchy. It's tough, dude.

But I think even so, you've got to allow UTI. I mean, I think that should be written in the rules of warfare. I agree. I agree. Yeah. So when you used to come to that, were you like then like, all right, where can I have sex like this in libraries where you landed? Totally, dude. Libraries, nice.

Because I would love to be in like the Marines, but I'm soft. I can't camp. I can glamp, stuff like that. So those conditions, me popping wood during wartime, very difficult to do. It would be very difficult for me to do nice but also i've never been in it so i don't know maybe i get more horny by that because the constant threat of death well you did have some kind of like not military training but like like policing training when you were at nordstrom's the loss prevention guy oh yeah jason

yeah he was savage he would just bust he'd bust teenagers all the time, dude. He'd be like, look, kids come in here. What school would you go to? SM? El Nego? Guna? I've got ID cards from every one of those schools. Kids come in here and they steal and I catch them. So I'll be on the lookout.

Employees steal too. So I'm just letting you all know. He had spiky blonde hair and he was wearing puka shells. And he'd be like, all right, people. Yeah, because I worked there a little bit too. He'd be like, be like all right everybody i'm here to tell you how we keep things from getting taken from this store which is very important might be the most important job here you might not know who steals from this store who do you think steals from this store i was like i don't know like boys he's wrong teen girls they steal the thumbs teen girls

brass plum grabbing everything they can what do I do when I catch them I bust them you go to jail you'll catch me in brass plum a lot looking at teen girls not in the way you think it'd be they're stealing don't judge me I catch teen girls

you assumed I was a predator there when in fact I am protecting you from the predators. These young girls who like to steal purses and little bracelets. And when they do, I nail them. Did he press charges every time? No. Or here's what he'd do. He would wait to rack it up.

So they steal a necklace worth like 15 bucks. He's like, yep, you're going to get away this time, but it's in the ledger. And he'd wait for it to get to enough money where he could really bust him and drop the hammer. Like 1500 or whatever. He was a savage, dude. This sounds like straight out of a 90s movie. Oh, yeah, dude. He was pretty incredible.

If you hear Laurie Peters being paged over the intercom, just know I'm on the move. LP, Laurie Peters. That was his name? No, because for loss prevention. Oh. And so you would hear someone go like, Brass Plum, like, paging Laurie Peters to, you know,

St. John's or paging Laurie Peters to men's shoes if they feel like someone's being suspect. And then he would just come flying out of the back, knocking over racks, and he would just tackle a 15-year-old girl. Nice. Dude. There was a chase policy, dude.

He'd fucking be at Macy's at the end of the mall. Yeah. Take him out. Yeah, dude. Like a proper double leg. Forever 21, forever done, dude. There was a chase policy, dude. He'd fucking be at Macy's at the end of the mall. Junior Seat. Take him out. Yeah, dude. Like a proper double leg. Forever 21, forever done, dude. I have a big quesh. And then he'd pull a $10 bracelet out of my hand and be like, done.

I have a big quesh. How was his tan? Pretty good. Yeah, not bad. Not bad. It looked good with the bleached hair. It was nice. It was a good balance.

Yeah. He looked like he was just out surfing all morning just thinking about all the kids he was gonna bust that day dude totally he was like mark mcgrath if like mark mcgrath did like you know basic training yeah great call i mean i i picture him in the morning doing like um tai chi crushing a dane cook cd yeah and then just heading straight into work and not laughing at it going like this good yeah you know like whenever here's a punchline yeah carrying nunchucks enjoying it that way when you got promoted to working on the floor yeah what did you glean anything about human nature from what you saw dude i mean i would see a lot of uh people would would go in the dressing rooms and steal stuff people would you what? The worst part of human nature was Nordstrom's return policy is very dank.

You could get cash back for credit purchases because it's Nordstrom Bank, and they've actually changed it now. So a lot of people would take advantage of that great return policy system of just knowing they can bring something to Nordstrom. What did you learn from a salesman perspective? Product knowledge is huge. When I started learning about stuff and having an opinion, honestly having an opinion to sell

was big. You know, this is kind of why I have insight to man the dam. I can really tap into him being sick. So, you know, I've worked in sales. I've seen it.

I know how to, I can dress it up a little bit. But my approach is always like, dude, I don't want to try to oversell you or upsell you to the more expensive thing. But think about it this way.

Those materials are going to last you. You go to H&M, you get something that looks good for one wear, maybe on New Year's, dude. Buy these better materials. It's going to last you a long time. You're going to get three of those things anyway. It equals the same. The worst thing I saw human nature-wise, though,

was I was doing a return for this lady, and there was a guy taking a phone call and deducing from his end of the out loud conversation he was convincing his girlfriend to get an abortion it was unreal bro really oh yeah oh yeah yeah and then the lady listening was like please don't ever treat women like that i was like no i won't i'm like this guy's terrible yeah and i didn't return his item it was after new year's dude and i knew he fucking wore it out one time smelled like shit and like cigs and like aguadillo cologne dude yeah and i go sorry bro

it's been used and then you know i looked over and i go see how that label right there it's a little bit washed because he was sweating in it dude because he's probably dancing hard dude or boning and creating new life that he wanted to end and uh just fucking the tag right there was sweated in i go look at that tag dude can't take that back but you take back everything i do if it's resellable gone and the thing is i still could have taken that back. But you take back everything. I do if it's resellable. Gone. Nice. And the thing is, I still could have taken that back and just quality controlled it, but not for him, dude. Was he pissed? Yeah, he was pissed, dude.

He needed that money. Did you just square up and just hold your ground? I kind of played it tight. I act like Nordstrom, the company, was the bad guy, and I was just the middleman. You had that to fall back on. Yeah. So it was nice. So yeah, I've seen some good and then i've

seen other stuff you know fun family stuff your brother came in made a nice purchase our buddy mike ferrara like was going to college and bought a bunch of nice shit for like a college wardrobe very orange county uh thing here that you guys are learning about but uh you go to college typically you'd go shopping with your parents and you'd get a nice wardrobe and uh yeah very lame but that's how it was and uh he came in and bought it all for me to hook it up with commish and then we had like sales meetings and the manager's like who's this mike ferraro guy you guys really hit it off you need to get him back in here i was like yeah i don't know i think he's going to school in san diego yeah i'll send him a thank you card so i'd write him notes like thank you notes from nordstrom

and mail them to him and then he'd open them up and i would just say like i'll kill you and i'll just send those notes like with the professional lettering it was gold dude did he have to act like he wasn't your homie when he came in sometimes the manners would hawk it but nah not too much like uh they don't care as long as you're making the sale yeah yeah and i bet you some of the other like this dude blake who i worked with who honestly dude blake had like i'll say he had game, dude. Blake was like kind of like a toolish dude, like loved affliction, you know, as a guy who I would judge, but a very nice guy. A hustler.

Yeah, dude. Always like, and lots of girls. He was fun to talk to in the morning, dude. You know, if you're working, if you're opening and he cruises in at 10 with a story, let's go, Blake. Let's hear about it, dude. What'd she do wrong this time? Every time he told the story i was on her side right but you didn't say that to you no no he was a little bit

older than me at the time what were his stories always just like you know dude i freaking went out and i really sink into it he's like he's like look dude i went out and invited maybe rachel out to freaking um you know this club in huntington and what was this there was the club in costa mesa that was right there. Fuck. What's that club called? You know what I mean? On the 55 right there.

Yes. The tri thing. Yes. It's like a K. It was like Katsuya or something like that. Yeah, something like that, dude. He's out at that club. I never once went there.

I went there one time and I saw, who's the guy that sings? I feel so close to you right now. Yeah, Calvin Harris played there. Really? Yeah, like early on. Sick. It was so sick. It was a fire time.

And anyway, Blake was there, and he'd be like, yeah, I'm there, getting a table with Rachel, and then turns out the table next to us. Emily's there, and then I start talking to Emily. And then I brought Rachel, and she's all mad now, and I'm like, I don't get it, dude. We're not dating. I'm like, dude, you took her on a date. You you know what i mean that's what i'm thinking in my head but dude 100 you know you got to think blake did that on purpose because he's a little insecure

about his status with the ladies so he needs to have two of them to see that other women are attracted to him and he's just basically saying like hey look i'm desirable because he doesn't feel desirable and you know what he did a lot he had an attractive sister he'd uh what's it called uh be on cleanup duty with her friends a lot of times you know was he older he was younger though so not as bad as bad yeah i think they were even like maybe fraternal twins i want to say okay well that's a yeah it's a different space i don't even know nothing about that. Close in age. I don't know. Twins are kind of weird.

Twins are kind of weird, right? Twins are an interesting phenomenon. I forget who said it. Some comedian was hilarious back there. He's like, man, you see someone walk in, they're ugly, and you go, great. Go back to drinking my drink. But then you see the same ugliness twice whoa are you friends with any twins am i none that stick out i'm sure i am my memory so uh you know i i'll friends from like five years ago i don't remember you sorry that's nice yeah um but i definitely have been friends with twins before

but um at the moment no dude there's twins i still don't know the difference between that i've known since they were five yeah yeah when they walk in i'm just like hey how's your brother like i'll find a way to get to the name yeah you know what i mean yeah like it's good to see you calling by their last name good to see you andrews how you doing would you want to be a twin no i think it's so weird yeah would you an interesting life experience but no what if there was an so you just imagine it's a male twin too imagine there's just an other you basically that you have to like live with all the time that's my worst nightmare yeah i'm already feeling like there's too much of me if they look exactly like they look just like you yeah you're

just looking at them isn't one always alpha and one's always beta? That's what I was thinking. That's what I was thinking. It's constant competitive sort of tension. Friction, yeah. Yeah. And then if the other one's outgoing, then you're going to fulfill the other side and be like the shy one.

Yeah. Yeah, you kind of do get boxed in by who the other one is. Yeah. Which one would you rather be, though? The alpha one. Well, here's what I'm thinking. The alpha one dominates in high school. He peaks.

The other one comes in strong towards the latter half of life. But you're twins. You have to work together the whole time. Do you, though? If you're a twin, you have to work with your brother. That's true. You have to work together, and you have to live in the same house with both your families. And share the same bed.

It's twin law. There have been elite twin, like have to live in the same house with both your families. And share the same bed. It's twin law. There have been elite twin, like the Lopez twins in the NBA. I mean, they're not the best NBA players, but they both went to Stanford and fucking played in the NBA. Markeith and Marcus Morris, who were twins and always wanted to be together. When they traded them to different teams, which they argued was in violation of twin law, they were pretty bummed out about it. That is a bummer, yeah.

Rondé and Tiki Barber? Rondé and Tiki. Right. Wachowski sisters? Yeah, yeah. Who are the ones? Winkle Voss. Yeah, the Winkle Vi.

Those guys are crushing. They're just crewing on the same team. Yeah. I valeted their car. Not nearly as handsome as Armie Hammer. Is it Armie Hammer that plays them? Yeah. He played both of them?

Yeah. He's really good in that. Yeah. He crushed yeah you're crushing that dude that was like when he did that everyone was like oh this is gonna be the next guy yeah and then he did like the lone ranger and everyone was like fuck this dude yeah and then it turned out he was into cannibal shit and everyone was like too weird right yeah way too weird how do you deal with that when that's going on in your head she's like man i just want to I just want to eat your fucking feet. I think the moment you get a thought like that, you're just like hitting Yelp and psychotherapists who specialize in sex. I'm meeting all of them. I'm meeting all of them.

I'm like, yo, I'm a cannibal. I also want to be loved by the entire public. How can we negotiate these two huge desires i have but the the uh with army hammer i don't know if it's it from my perspective i'm not i'm not sure if he had the self-awareness to be like this is a problem i feel like he sort of got off on he's like yeah i'm a fucking freak people like doing wrong i want to you know barbecue your ribs i heard a guy in sex addicts it was so true and he was like uh you know he was you hear such brilliant things from people you don't expect it from this guy was like destitute you know yeah and uh but he had a lot of wisdom about his own behavior and

he was like i only feel alive when i'm doing wrong right and so i think yeah you might be right i think for army hammer maybe it was worth it for him to get that that rush yeah yeah to feel those extreme feelings do you think he he would like type out something he'd be like yeah yeah i want to make a nice carne asada out of your you know right foot have your have your ass yeah wait are you doing a man the dan impression yeah just make some nice tacos with your ass meat poor man you're such a good guy dude yeah he is a good guy. I chatted with him in the DMs briefly, and I was like, he's a nice guy. But he's a marketer.

He's a marketer. He's a good guy. He's a marketer, JT. Look, we all work in different professions. JT, he's a marketer. What do they say about serial killers? Get it through your head. What do they say about serial killers?

Nice guy. Yeah, Ted Bundy. Never thought it'd be him. Ted Bundy, charismatic as fuck i'm just unaccustomed to you dudes just being so prejudiced towards a line of work except for chow with doctors all right no i'm not even prejudiced against marketers dude you're just prejudicing i'm just man of dan dude wait but i was i was back to the army hammer thing carnet assading some yeah i dude it must be hard being him too because we always ask each other for advice on text.

Who do you turn to for advice if you're Army Hammer? Hey, bro, I want to message this girl. We met like a week ago in Bermuda and I really want to hang out with her again. Your buddy's like, oh yeah, let me check it out. I want to rip your heart out with my bare hands, squeeze the blood out of it until I see the life lead your eyes.

I'm like, nah, dude, too heavy, man. I think I'd be like, add an exclamation point yeah let her know you're excited and then offer to fly to her because if you're gonna like eat her heart out like dude don't make her fly to you and if she if she responds she's like all right that's cool and then you're like then you're like all right sweet i'd be like dude wait wait wait wait an hour wait an hour yeah yeah be mysterious you know give her some anticipation you already told her you're I'd be like, dude, wait an hour. Wait an hour. Yeah. Be mysterious. Give her some anticipation. You already told her you're going to eat her?

And what did she say to that? She said, dope. Okay, cool. Yeah, wait a day. And then you say, okay, cool. I'll see you soon. You don't want to seem too excited to eat her. Yeah.

Yeah, I'll fly you out to Bermuda. Can you tan with some butter beforehand? Can you start rubbing butter on your skin now? Yeah, no problem, army. That is funny, too, if a girl was like, wait, so what's the deal? He's like, no, I'm literally going to eat one of your toes. And she's like, where are you flying me? He's like, Bali. It's like, yeah, I don't need my toe that bad.

It's worth it. He's hot. If he's like, she comes over, he's like,'s like how should i you know how should i should i like take her out to dinner before you know i slice a flank off her ass how should i play that yeah i gotta be a gentleman though yeah you gotta be a gentleman is this gonna be too edgy no not at all nice do you think he was a fun juxtaposition of you of app dating plus cannibalism fetish. It's nice. Do you think he fantasizes about seasoning?

He's like, I'm going to put some pink Himalayan salt on that. Maybe some Taco Bell taco seasoning. Dude, I don't even know how it practically plays out. Who's on the other end of that? I understand a dominant submissive. I don't think he actually ever ate anyone. I think it was mostly theater for him. But I think he was abusive in that theater.

He took it a little too serious. Yeah why yeah well good luck to him yeah is that the wrong thing to say yeah hopefully there's i just have i have empathy for all the wrong people you know what i mean like i'm just like that guy's probably suffering so someone's like do you hear about that uh serial killer they caught him i'm like ah poor guy he's gonna have a tough time wait you got empathy for the wrong people yeah man the day not man the socratic method man the dan's gonna prove this over his life I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. Jump, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Man the Dan's going to prove this over his life. Jump, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

Man the Dan, you've created something provocative. You have been the best marker of all time. We've talked about you on multiple podcasts. He's given us a lot of content. We owe you. We owe you. He's succeeding, dude. You see? Yeah.

Whoa, dude, wait. What are, but... Dude, you know what? I want to get into this into this now actually it's a good thing you just brought up because like what if that does incentivize people to like act like renombs so that they can get you know more time but then dude even i had a dude message me last time i was talking about this i mean that's that was our last president right oh dude i forgot donald trump was president that was crazy yeah yeah it's nuts it's so funny i don't even pay attention to the news anymore i'm like i'm like just because you

know i'm like what's going on it's crazy how effective like knocking him off of social media platforms was yeah like he really did just disappear yeah like when everyone's like should we kick him off twitter should we not i really didn't know he's the president i don't know like can you do that? Yeah. But honestly, probably would have been, it would have made things more chill for sure. It is,

it is funny how politics just aren't even in my head space anymore. My Republican friends in orange County are still going hard in the, in the Instagram stories though. Really? Yeah. It's just like, when does it end? Never.

It never ends. No. Um, but I was wondering like so you know you have to worry sometimes that like the the way we talk about things might attract people to talk about them in that way so that you know they can get a little more attention on it totally and i do that i don't even know it's just similar to that but i had a kid message me last night he's like hey par i'm freaking out i think i'm bipolar and i think i'm a sex addict you know which are kind of like two of the things i define myself by yeah and then i could tell right away i was like you know i'm not a doctor so i'm not uh ready to diagnose but i was

like i don't know dude you just sound super anxious i was like what makes you think you're a sex addict i was like how often do you watch porn he's like i don't know like once a day and i was like for how long he's like five minutes and i was like i don't think you're a sex all these guys are shaking their head i was like yeah i don't think you're a sex actor i mean yeah i was like what makes you is it like destroying your life is it like impacting it negatively he's like no i just feel bad about myself when i do it i was like yeah it's kind of par for the course i was like but hey if you want to knock it off knock it off and i go what makes you think you're bipolar and he was like i freaked out on my girlfriend because i thought she was cheating on me but i think i was

overreacting and i'm like no dude I don't think you're bipolar, dude. And he came around to it already, dude. Yeah. That's sort of my beef with the culture these days is everyone's, it seems like everyone wants to have some sort of trauma. Right. That they can tell the world about. Like, this is what happened to me. Yes.

This is why I'm interesting. Because I have all this trauma and i'm like you know it and i you know empathize with people who've had serious trauma in their lives but the same you know it's sort of like if you're always talking about it if you're always just telling people like you know it's just like then that's your identity you're giving more size to it yeah that's who then that becomes who you are as opposed to you know right uh dealing with it or overcoming it and sort of rising above it uh or or growing from it it's it i feel like it just keeps you down in that sort of like well this happened to me so you know i don't deserve blah blah blah it's tough it's a tough thing to talk about and it's like dude i've just been lucky dude like i grew up in oc had a pretty fucking tight life had a lot of brunches and shit and so it's tough for me to

fucking um speak on it but i do generally agree of like um you're always nice to the help at the brunches though the hell i'm kidding i'm kidding was that too much i was making fun of him yeah he was trying to be self-aware i wasn't letting him get away with it hey but it's just yes this is my experience but i'm like dude it's fucking the joke is he wasn't i saw strider he was very rude to those people yeah i was very rude i was very if you fucked up my eggs benny and i couldn't cut through the english muffin you're fucking out dude you know my father is um but uh it was like yeah it's tough to just to speak on it but there is does seem like a balance of uh if you've been a victim there's been like a uh there's like

maybe i don't know like what the um i don't know i don't know how it gets like it's super complicated yeah it's fucking so gnarly so i can't i honestly my opinion on it is like i can't be valid i think it's always good to go get help you know what i mean i just think i just think when i talk about like my things i might be glorifying them a little bit and i do like overly identify with them at times and that's like i think the less important part i think the more important part is like yeah if you're feeling off go get help and figure out what's wrong with you for sure but uh i wouldn't jump to conclusions on it i would kind of you know go slow and and really take it seriously yeah dude it's interesting of like uh our buddy greg was talking about seriously i'm throwing it around yeah it's it's but you're also a cool guy you have a podcast you're cool you you there's

probably that kid that probably reached out to he's a young dude and he probably looks up to you for a little bit and wants to relate and he goes oh if i have these things almost goes back to like oh if i drink it's gonna make me funny or, then I can do comedy because I see comics drinking whiskey or smoking weed. So I need to do that to do that. But it's like you need to do a lot of other stuff behind that. And I think to circle back to like the TikTok thing, there's a lot of kids like saying that they had like disassociative personality disorder or some shit that like James McAvoy has in Split. Basically, yeah, what we called multiple personality disorder. Yeah.

shit that like james mcavoy has in split basically yeah what we called multiple personality disorder yeah and uh but it's like super rare super super rare to have that and then the kids putting it on tiktok are like basically doing like character reels with it yeah and it's like dude that's not it's a character reel like you're stepping into a new point of view which is good but that's not what what that disorder is what is that why is that like kind of like that's what i mean it's just attention seeking is that what it is i think so and i think if something's taking up a lot of space in the national conversation it just by virtue of that becomes attractive to us you know what i mean and we kind of want to be a part of it it's like yeah you want to be in that moment and then it's this balance between like you know because for so long we didn't and still

in a lot of spaces we don't talk about it enough yeah and then it's just hard to like it's like with anything we always over correct you know and then people are like too fired up on it yeah and it's like and in my experience i don't actually think there's like a lot of mental health shame right now like you know i grew up orange county with a bunch of bougie bros those are like the last people he think would be like uh cool about that stuff yeah my friends are the fucking best like everyone i've talked to like i'll talk their ears off about how i'm depressed anxious yeah you know uh kind of in a be crazy or something like that or yeah or about my sex addict stuff and then like everyone just always listens i mean they'll tell me it's too

much at times if i won't shut up but like, like, for the most part, everyone's, like, been really, really chill about it. Right. Yeah. Yeah. What was I going to say, too, on top of that? That's my experience. I might just be lucky with having nice friends, too. I'm sure for other people it's really tough.

But I do kind of feel like at least the media, like, a boxer dropped out of a fight because he was having mental health problems. And everyone was super nice to him about it like some people picked on him but even a lot of his opponents were like hey man get better like start to feel right before you fight again but people didn't fuck with that lady the tennis opened the u.s open of tennis did you see that or was it the u.s open wimbledon yeah she like was like hey i'm not in the right mindset i'm gonna drop out and then they want to fine her for it and like so you need to do press stuff and all this type of shit. And she was like, I know that's,

she didn't want to do the press stuff. And that's why she, yeah. Yeah. But didn't most people support her publicly? That's a good question. Like, I think Nike put out an ad and I just went to sweet green and she's got like a new salad there.

Yep. So I mean, I think in terms of, that's the thing publicly. Yeah. But then the fucking, when the dollar start counting, I don't think we're there yet.

She got a sweet green deal out of it. Well, she's also the highest paid tennis player in the world, but... She's a beast, yeah. She might have had that before. But as far as the tennis association, they need to fucking step up, dude. Get with it. Well, that's like, in college and stuff, I had that desire to get attention, you know? I'd sort of tell people, I'd be like, yeah, my parents are divorced, you know? This desire to get attention you know i i'd sort of tell me i'd be

like yeah like my parents are divorced you know this is really tough you know i have anxiety you know and then starting stand-up it's like you know that was louis ck was probably the biggest at the time so when i started stand-up i was like oh i gotta talk about you know how muffed up i am yeah so i just got on stage i'm like yeah i have anxiety went to the therapist you know and people are like in it's sort of in my mind i was like i was like what the hell am i going to talk about because that's all people are talking about i don't have any like i have issues you know but i do like when you talk about that stuff with me though yeah yeah yeah but it's just like i love it yeah but i don't know man i i just like i i understand where that kid's coming

from i guess is what i'm saying is because like when i was you know young when i was like 18 and stuff i want i wanted to tell people about that stuff because i'm like you'd get attention yeah people would be like oh i'm so sorry you know it's like and we do romance i remember being young when i first started stand-up when i'd see someone on stage and they were convincing in their depression i was like that's, that guy's interesting. Right. He'd be like, I'm fucked up, man.

I think these things, and how the fuck do I get out of my own way? Yeah. I don't want to, I just keep fucking up. Yeah. And then I'd be like,

wow, like, what a raw human being. Yeah. But then when you actually feel that stuff, like depression, you're like,

I don't know what the fuck I was talking about. Yeah. This shit sucks. Yeah, I get on stage. Can't get out of bed, yeah.

I get on stage with like a fresh tan you know just like yeah dude i got anxiety everyone's like the audience right away was just like what the fuck right are you talking about your life's awesome i'm like yeah it is fuck i want to be an artist but that's what's interesting dude the audience has their you know we do to a degree judge a book by cover you show up you have surfer hair surfer look it's like yeah you surf all day that's all i see yeah but there's more than meets the eye and you can get them there you just have to first

be like i'm good looking and i'm cool and i surf and then you take them on the journey and then at the end you can be like but i'm a bit sad and they'll be like oh okay it's all right we'll laugh because you but i can't quit vaping right right it's tough dude fuck bro yeah a lot of people relate yeah it's tough farmy hammer was texting about that no one would yeah look i can't quit vaping dude so this is sort of long overdue but a stoker sent us this and he works for the legend himself kenny loggins whoa our hero this new record is out kenny loggins at the movies i think it's a compilation of his greatest hits i'm all right footloose i'm free playing with the boys danger zone meet me halfway for the first time nobody's fool Ryan Romanesco dude thank you so much uh we gotta put this up in the studio that's tight dude gotta

pay homage to Kenny because he I think he is musically probably the ultimate stoke lord it has so many bangers so many songs that you're like I know that song immediately yeah dude how do you guys move when you hear this song sexually Yeah, dude. How do you guys move when you hear this song? Sexually. First I start. What do you do? I start with the finger pistols.

Hit them. A little lower, a little lower for the camera. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get right in there. Yeah, yeah. There it is. That's how you shoot shoot them baby i always used to do this movie i don't know if i can still do it at my age but i used to write it in my parents room black that was so sick and i remember my dad's gonna like what i was doing yeah but when i'd throw that move i'd see a smile creep across his face and i was like he can't deny it old man yeah you're using the whole body when you do something like that yeah and i think it's the elasticity of the

spinal column that really gets people going yes that kind of gyration it's like aaron johnson and nocturnal animals he kind of plays that character oh dude yeah feral animal you know and he's kind of like he slinks in like that he's amazing in that kind of like a yeah oh he's really good this is best performance i think i agree dude yeah that was a great move that you just did you dance well thanks you already know this but you dance well too thanks you dance well too oh do you take too big of a rip dog no never you took too big of a rip no dude dude the vape's been agitating my throat i've been having sore throat in the morning i'm worried i'm gonna have like uh it could incentivize me to stop as i'm worried it's gonna destroy my podcast voice dude yeah dude no it could make more gravelly that'd

be cool you think it'd be cool that'd be tight no i don't want to encourage it you should stop that's better yeah thanks dog for a second there i was like oh chad's right i gotta keep destroying No, it could make more gravity. That'd be cool. You think it'd be cool? That'd be tight. No, I don't want to encourage it. You should stop. That's better. Yeah, thanks, dog. For a second there, I was like, oh, Chad's right. I got to keep destroying my vocal box. But there's other ways you can do that. You can just yell for long periods of time.

Do you yell a lot? Not really at the top of my lungs. I think that's what's good for competing. You know what I mean? You can compete. You can go play pickup basketball or volleyball or whatever it is. You can just get out there and just let out like a fucker yeah like i think that is important to do even lifting weights yeah it's a good space for aggression yeah yeah it's a productive space for aggression you've even heard me in the act of making love i'm like

i'll do it right now no no you know it wasn't like that it was more like this i walk in this animal doesn't have the door closed because he wants me to see that's right dude and you're underneath master class and you're going like this you're going oh and i'm at the door and i'm like oh oh god bolt straight from my room, just as you're about so clearly, so clearly about to bust. Like I'm getting electrocuted, dude. Oh. Can you do that again? Dude, you know who I stole that from?

Do you know who I copyright that yell to? What? The guy who I kind of look like. What? The dude from the Wet Bandits. Daniel Stern when he gets a leg return. In Home Alone, he yells like that. That's how he yells, dude.

I crack up every year at that yell dude and then they cut to like a practical skeleton and I'm all like yes dude so good

that is a really good scene for sure dude I thought you were gonna say Joel Osteen that's how he was in the set Joel dude praise God like it's angelic

yeah dude that's hilarious it's amazingic. Yeah, dude. That's hilarious. That's amazing. I just can't. Yeah. Houston, say it with me now. When you bust a nut, not just a nut for nothing, but a nut for the love that you and your betrothed share,

the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with, that nut, that just makes me go, Woo! Woo! Woo! person you're going to spend the rest of your life with that nut that just makes me go in front of like 20 000 historians they're like what the hell i just expelled semen into my wife's vagabond cavity and we just conceived a child i know it i've been saving up that jizz for one month that was the biggest load I've ever had in my life. Everybody in here, come with me. Come with me now. Come with me. All 30,000 of you. Everyone here in the Ashton. Start jacking off.

Come on. Everyone come. Everyone lean back. Usher's, usher's. Grab some napkins, usher's. Just give out that religious fury. Give it out. Give it out to the Lord.

Everybody come. Stroke it. All three of us have to do it now. You ready? Ladies, ladies, close your eyes. Aaron, Aaron, you on. Stroke it. All three of us have to do it now. You ready? Ladies, ladies, close your eyes. Aaron, Aaron, you got to back yourself. It's too much. Aaron, Aaron, are we spiking?

Aaron, will you do it once? Aaron, how high are our levels? Are we spiking? We spiked. Aaron, will you do it? No. No, please. Please, Aaron.

Please. Aaron, please do it. Please. Aaron, will you fake scream come? Please. Come on, Aaron. Please. Aaron.

Aaron, please. Aaron. Don't be nervous. It's not going to be on camera. We, please do it. Aaron, will you fake scream come? Come on, Aaron. Come on. Aaron, please. Don't be nervous. It's not going to be on camera. We'll only hear it. Come on, Aaron. You can do it. We're going to show this to your daughter when she turns 21. This is the man who raised you.

It'll be no fault. After everyone comes, hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Okay, start singing. Nice. Dude, should we answer some questions?

Yeah. Is it cool if I take a leak before I do that? Let's take a little break. That's a good transition. Hallelujah. Okay, start singing. Nice. Dude, should we answer some questions? Yeah. Is it cool if I take a leak before I do that? Yeah, let's take a little break. That's a good transition. Yeah. We are also brought to you by the legends at Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims cubed, for looking after our hogs,

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the best in the biz with advanced flow technology. Get that booze in your gullet this summer today at ShopCGD.com to get a Helix Beer Bong. Back to the show. You are my fire, my world. Is that the best boy band song of all time? Is I Want It That Way the best boy band song of all time? Is I Want It That Way the best boy band song of all time? I feel like you would go with something. I feel like you would go with NSYNC.

Like an NSYNC hit. Okay, I'll put it to you like this. What do you think is better? I Want It That Way or Bye Bye Bye? I think I've got to go with Bye Bye Bye. Because... i gotta go with bye bye bye because but they they elicit different feels for me one's a ballad one's like a yeah dance song because bye bye bye you're just like you're up and you're just yeah later you're like yeah let me ask you this different vibe maybe boys to men do they top yeah you know i was i was

a fan of them as a kid but i they haven't i haven't kept up with them what's their best song like on bended knee oh no i'll make love to you it's probably their best one i'll make love to you i love one sweet day too that's a great one but it's not the high energy that i want that comes from those other boy band songs i i could see that song coming from your i'll make love to you Like you want me You know what's funny? We don't ever really make love to music that much Do you guys make love to music a lot?

I do because I like to keep track of how long I last I think I talked about this Did I talk about this on the Bobby Lee one? No, but I'll be like, oh I lasted like five Hozier songs Or one Freebird Fuck yeah If you last a whole Freebird, that'd be sick If you last a I'll be like, oh, I lasted like five Hozier songs. Or one Freebird? Mm-hmm. Fuck yeah, dude. Dude,

if you could last a whole Freebird, that'd be sick. If you could last a Meatloaf song, dude, let's go. Yeah.

Those songs have interesting turns, too. They really do. They're truly like works of art. I don't really know how long I last. It's probably good

not to keep track of it. I think I check my weight too much, too. That's why I never max out at the gym. The numbers don't matter. It's the feeling inside of them and the space between them. Totally. Mind over matter don't mind it don't matter dude dude today i will

do with some man and you know i'll do this as my quote of the week all right first first uh cue this one's more just straight advice quitting vapes try this hey chad i was able to quit vaping when i found some flavored nicotine toothpicks online the website is called zippix toothpicks check it out have a good one. This guy totally works for them. Oh, dude. Thanks, man. Yeah, I've been trying Lucy gum. Lucy gum's legit.

But then I just, you know, the flavor of the vape is just so nice. They just do it right. I'm going to quit at some point. Why can't they just have like a healthy vape, dude? Is it just innately not what it is? Yeah, I just don't know if they can. Like the chemicals just have to be wrong have to be when you do one of the healthy ones you're like it ain't hitting the same yeah um hey chad i think you had rhombomyosis and that's why your liver results came back suggesting liver disease jt said your arms were swollen after you did the murph which is a key

sign of robdo oh that's what i always talk that yeah robdo i am only a medical assistant so please check with probably another doctor i would recommend a physiatrist physical medicine and rehabilitation doctor this has been bugging me so i wanted to reach out and try to help in any way love the pod and all the boys thank you uh dude very much appreciate the tip i actually read that email and i called my dad about it and he's like it's a pretty serious condition yeah you can die dude yeah and every my arms are back to normal and and my p is normal so i think i think if if that were the case maybe i had like a small case i don't know but if that were the case i think i'm it i'd be very sick so the merf fucked fucked you up. The Murph fucked me up.

It's a fucking insane workout, dude. Yeah. It's a beast of a workout. I hate to run. I can't do it. Yeah. You're a beast, bro. You did it.

You do it every year. Thanks. And you don't even do, like, CrossFit training, so you're kind of really jumping into the deep end. Yeah, I really kind of worked myself, but... I don't know. That's what you got to do. Next year, let's work up to it, dude.

We'll do it together. Yeah? Yeah. Get you a tighter vest. You took a lot of flack for wearing that flack vest, dude. Oh, yeah. It's wrong. You looked good in it.

Thank you. Yeah. Wait. Strider. You for real right now? 100% for real right now. I'm not messing around, dude. I don't mess around when it comes to my dog's physique and health. Thank that's what's up for sure calling on the stoke council what up chad jt

also relationship master strider chilson and fat hog joe if applicable i write to you from across the pond however the language of stoke is universal recently the b recently the the beers in the local have been flowing at unprecedented levels and the squad stoke tank has been bursting at the seams. However, about a month ago, we had to have an intervention with a key squad member as he was smoking too much bud and showing signs of psychosis from too many dank spliffs over the last four years. He took the intervention well and told us he had stopped smoking. Kudos to my bro. Since the intervention, it appears he has swapped the dank green for the sweet golden nectar of beer. While the whole squad loves to rage and get fired up at the local pub,

our squad member in question is drinking upwards of 10 pints five to six nights of the week. He justifies it by saying he no longer smokes, so this is now the party juice of choice. The problem lies with the behavior that follows said quantity of beer. The end of the night ends in a similar fashion every night, either spewing over a wall, trying to fight other squad members or trying to fight any male who gives his new baby face any kind of attention arguably the lesser attractive of the two new babes in the squad super extraneous detail there yeah my question to you is how do we as a squad go about telling him this behavior is unacceptable and do we poke him after telling and seeing no change

thanks for the advice that follows and keep spreading still globally, legends. Also, I'd like to shout out my real-life bro as he's finally come to terms with having the smallest dong in the family. And it's great to see him grow as a person. That's huge, dude. Congrats to your brother, dude.

Dude, I think, unfortunately, that sounds like an issue. and i think he he should get help i mean and it's tough with with these you know it's like you can never like when someone has a substance abuse problem you know it's like you can never like tell them like hey you got a problem it's like they i mean you can you can be there for i think you can be there for them and say and you should probably say like hey this is concerning us and uh you know i think you should get help but so i think you should support him as much as you can in that and sort of you know try and push him to uh get help but that's i think this guy needs help and um hopefully he he it seems like he's uh able to listen and and might be responsive to you guys saying,

hey, you should see a therapist or something because that's going to spiral. For sure. Yeah, that's how addiction works too. It's whack-a-mole. You see it so much. You hit one thing, but that energy in you is still there, the thing that made you an addict. And then another one pops out.

It kind of moves around until you really – and you've got to keep dealing with it. Yeah. But, yeah, I would say it's hard to get someone to change if they're not ready. And then another one pops out and it kind of moves around until you really, and you got to keep dealing with it. Yeah. But yeah, and I would say, you know, it's hard to get someone to change if they're not ready. You know what I mean? Sometimes there's another thing they say in the program that is if you haven't had enough, keep going. Yeah.

Cause you know, a lot of people come through there who are just like, all right, I haven't hit bottom yet. And some people need that. Yeah. But you know, I'm optimistic. Maybe he doesn't. So yeah, I would talk to him about it. Yeah.

And then dude, if you need to, if you have to put up boundaries because it's it's starting to tax you too much it's a really hard call to make because you want to be there for your friends too but um you know i think it's okay for you to you know to help a ton and i think it's also okay if you need to at some point to take space and maybe that's jumping the gun a little bit but what i'm saying is is that you care about him a lot but at the end the day, he's got to be willing to help himself. For sure. But keep trying, yeah. You guys nailed it.

Hit the hammer on the head. I would say if you like, yeah, he needs to cut it cold turkey, in my opinion. But if he's got to choose one, probably weed over booze. Not if he's getting psychotic, though. That's true. If he has a crazy habit. He needs to be off, though. He might be detached from reality. And honestly, don't know though not if he's getting psychotic though that's true if he has like a crazy yeah he needs to be off he might be like detached from reality yeah and honestly don't do that negotiating thing don't that's in my mind i was like negotiate hey cut the booze but do the

weed you just gotta tell him straight up dude it's not working for you we love you bro but we don't love you when you're altered by these things man you gotta change it dude and is it bad too to be like hey man let's just see it for a couple weeks you. You can like, cause he might do it with them. People all three weeks, cold Turkey, bro. Let's go all of us. Yeah. And people in that position will often say like, uh, look, I could quit if I wanted to. Oh, all right.

Well, let's see it. The ultimate lie to someone. Dude, that's the ultimate thing. Cause we all feel that's how I feel with my vape. But it's like, if you keep doing it, totally. What does it matter? Totally. Um, but good luck to that

dude and you're a good bro for reaching out yep what's up stoke lords i come to you seeking counsel about an ex-lover i dated this girl for almost four years from the time i was a junior in high school until the summer before my junior year of college we were each other's first loves took each other's v cards and all that dank stuff she broke up with me because she said i was immature and she didn't think we were right for each other. The super tiny dong probably didn't help my cause, but she didn't express her frustration about it. We ended on pretty good terms with no bad blood,

but I was super bummed for a while nonetheless. That was three years ago at this point, and she's been dating a new guy since about six months after we broke up. Every few months since the breakup, she will reply to a Snapchat story of mine or send me something she knows I like on Instagram, such as a post from my favorite sports team this doesn't bother me so much when i was staying busy during college but now i've graduated have more time on my hands to

overthink things she asked me to get together and catch up a few months ago and we went to a park and chatted together for a couple hours it was a super chill hang but my stoke tank was on low for a few days after the encounter a part of me still feels bitter over the breakup but i feel like i will always love her for a little i will always love her a little the fact that she still contacts me intermittently and acts like we're best buddies even though she has another long-term bow bums me out and leaves me feeling major confused what are you shamans of stoke that i do find my p how do you how do you shamans of stoke suggest that i do find my peace about this sig dude this sounds nice man i mean look you guys were each other's firsts bro oh wait aaron you got something for this yeah cut it

cut all communications why are people friends with rexus don't do it i think i agree with you aaron i think you if you're on the same page completely about the breakup but that you can be friends no reason to be friends right but i'm just saying so rarely are people ever on the same level. Like one person always is kind of pining for the other one and the other one's just like, no, we can just be friends. And it's easy for them to say that, but I don't think a lot of those people

are really being sensitive to what it does to the other person. Totally. She's hurting you when she hangs out with you. Not intentionally, but it hurts you. And she's not thinking about you. She's just thinking about what makes her feel good, which is totally normal.

I've done it a million times, but it's not right for you. So you got to just take space, dude, and move on. I mean, dude, it was a couple of years ago, bro. Like you're burning valuable time in your life and you don't want to waste that time, you know, thinking about someone else who already has someone else. Like you got to get busy living, man. Amen.

Get out there. Exactly. Exactly. And if she really cares about you, she'll support you in that. And she does care about him. I think when she's sending him those messages, she's like, oh, I like him. We had this special thing. And she feels nice about it.

And she probably knows that she feels like she's being nice to him, maybe even charitable. But he's got to step up, pull on his fucking man pants, and be like, yo. And dude, you've got to realize, you were virgins when you guys first hooked up. Were your person pants. Yeah, dude. Yeah. And you guys were virgins, dude. were your person pants yeah dude yeah and you guys were virgins dude she's gonna go meet someone else like it's very rare if you're virgins to stay

together in today's day and age like forever so that's totally normal on her part and you have sort of been hung up on it a little bit and you sound like a sensitive guy and a sweet guy and i could see myself doing the same thing but i'd say just like jt and aaron said dude let her know and you don't need to be like harsh about it. I'm fucking done. We're fucking done. Just be like, yo. Detach with love. Yeah, don't send me the messages.

I wish you and yours the best. We had such a nice thing together, man. I'll think of it forever. I'm happy you were my first. I wish you the best, man. I wish you the best, really. But we don't need to keep in touch. We don't need to do this little touch and go shit.

You need to fucking go and hang out with other people in the park and have dang ass dates dude totally agree yeah i think he's got he's got to cut it and uh yeah i mean just go out there and live with j2 saying go out there live meet new people you just gotta you just gotta put it in the rear view step on the gas and do a fat burnout and eventually you'll be in a place where you're just like oh yes dude you're gonna get there dude and you know he said this statement in his thing

he said oh he was fine with it in college which made me feel like he's had other sexual encounters which is tight and now that he's graduated he's like a little bit he's got too much time so get busy dude schedule some fucking dates hang with the boys set up your social calendar and i know kovat fucks that up too but the world's opening back up dude fucking get on a softball team like aaron dude get out there baby yeah go get your heart broken a couple more times man yeah and then always remember that you

dated someone of high quality and that you that that is where you're meant to return. You know what I mean? But it's going to be someone else. But you're doing great, man. You had a great girlfriend. You guys had a good relationship. And now I think you're going to take that into the next one. Yeah.

And you got a small penis. So what? I got a small penis, dude. I got a little dick, dude. Yeah. I got a little tiny pecker, bro. Yeah, dude. This is the Bellend squad. You think that bothers me?

I got bigger fish to fry, dude. And plus, that stuff only bothers me. And it never bothers me. But if it did bother me, it would only bother me when I'm not doing other shit. Exactly. Stay busy, baby. It doesn't bother you when you lift. No, dude.

Hell no. I could care less, dog. I don't even think about my hog. Back of my dome. I'm just worried about getting those hips under me, dude. All right. I need love. Sup, dudes?

I'm Caitlin, and I recently moved to a new city. I'm surrounded by couples, and it really lowers lowers my stoke because I want to find that happiness with my ideal compadre. I've been single for a while and I've lived it up, but just don't get the same satisfaction of hooking up with dudes without having a connection. I have some friends who constantly find a relationship, but I've never been that kind of girl and I've been fine with that until lately. I'm just wondering if there's anything girls do that make guys want a relationship instead

of a fling, or maybe I'm going for the wrong dudes. would love your take on this and love the pod and your outlook on life thanks for constantly raising my stoke so anything that girls do yes there's something a girl could do that would make you more inclined to be like hey let's do a relationship i don't know i think like just if someone's solid you know you just want them to be a solid person so if it feels like they're pretty happy and put together on their own, I think that's always exciting because that feels like something I want. So I'm like, oh, you know, I'd like to date someone who kind of has that thing that I want, you know.

But I also think maybe the reason your friends always find partners and you don't is because maybe you're just a little bit choosier. Maybe you're pickier, which is a good thing yeah you know no i'd say take it slow but don't don't play it too cool does that make sense dude that's good advice man for everybody yeah so it's like because you know i've been on the apps and stuff and it's like when you like match with someone or something they start talking and they start texting you all the time you're like like i i got shit to do like i'm back off you know what i mean it's like a fine balance of like you know get to know them reach out and like you know go on dates you know but but space it out take it slow but also don't be too cool where you're

just sort of like have your guard up and you're trying to make them like chase you. Just sort of be, have your own life, but also, you know, have your own life, but also be real and be like open to possibilities. I think that, because that's what I've found is like when it's just kind of flows naturally as opposed to when they just bombard you with text you're just like whoa like i can't it's it it's so it's finding that balance so i think yeah you know just be real but don't play too cool that's what i'd say nice dude that's tough find that metal porridge

also dude you sound like you know you've had brief relationships or hookups or whatever so i think the issue for her is just going to be getting through the dudes who are the uh weasels just looking to score and then finding a guy you're not going to have a problem finding a guy yeah they're going to be lining up but it's just the right guy with the right intentions you know what i mean and that's that's going to be her obstacle to snuff out a little bit but i think if she just comes forward like yeah i'm looking for a relationship you know hold out a little bit see what happens the guy sticks in there he's cool you know like yeah you know what's crazy about the weasel thing too it's like there's weasels and then there's good guys but i think the main slice of the pie is guys who can go either way you know what i mean and it's

like where are they at in that at in their life in that moment? And what also does this person bring out of them? Yeah, and that's conversation and honesty. That's the dissecting that she's got to do, which is tough. Where the guy is just going to be looking to score or whatever, maybe saying the same things to someone he'd want to date to score with early on, right? And I'm not on the apps, but I don't know.

But with a girl it's like you know you say i'm looking for a relationship i'm looking for these things like even if a guy's in that stage in his life it probably takes some experience but it can probably be snuffed out okay in the taxonomy of uh euphemisms for having sex what what's like the best one and what's the worst and where does trying to score rank in there because i i think i know what the worst one is and i think i know what the best one is real quick like what do you mean by worse and best like a most offensive or like most blue or ribble or like not ribald i think the funniest one is when someone's like uh did you bone like

bone is the funniest i think yeah I think the worst one is Pork. I do love Pork. I'm trying to Pork. Pork. What about this? Get some Gash? That's pretty awful. I think that one's worse than Pork.

I will say that if I have a few beers. I mean, I'm just around guys, though. And I think the best one is... Looking for some Trim? I think the best one, and this is a good one. If you hear a guy say this, you know he's a good guy. He says he's trying to boink. Yeah, yeah did you boink yeah did you boink what about plow i like that dude when my son comes when my son the night after his prom when he comes

through the door i'm just gonna be sitting at my desk in my study reading the new york times sunday paper flicking through with a cup of coffee, just billowing smoke, and I'm just going to look at him and say, oh, hey, son, did you boink? See, but you have to believe in your son, though, JT. You have to go, oh, hey, who came first? Well, so he's going to say, but can I still say boink?

Can you put boink in there? I don't know how you factor in boink. No, you could do it. He's like, son, during the boink, who come first? It was Abba and Cost costello his friends are there yeah your dad's fucking weird that's a weird guy we're in a tweed quote oh and your friend nathan's here what about you did you participate in the boink and uh when did you come on the timeline you know you know and then they look inside my wall street journal i just have a hustler magazine you're just looking at porn dad i'm like oh excuse me boys boys boys i'm gonna be a cool dad i'm gonna

come out with a backwards hat on hell yeah what's up mr plow go for the no look high five and then just beeline it out that's like when you drop them off at the at the picture party you know before then you're like all right have a good day make sure you boink it was cooler to do it to your daughter you fucking boink him did you boink him honey did you boink him rebecca did you boink him you did oh honey i'm so happy get your mother downstairs good melanie they boinked tyler boinked your little Heather last night. Where's Tyler? Get him in here. Where's Tyler? Where's Tyler?

Oh, he's at a soccer tournament? Oh. Okay, well, we'll catch up with him later. Let's drive over there. Yeah, let's go watch him play. Oh, hey, Mr. Parr. How do you know Tyler? Oh, he boinks my daughter.

Oh, yeah. He's the striker? Could have guessed that. He's a clinical finisher when it's a pressure moment. He scores a goal. That guy boinked the goal that guy boinked my daughter he boinked my daughter dude that was for real when we went to the usc ohio state game in like 2007 or something like that and it was uh mark sanchez it was like 2009 mark sanchez versus terrell prior ohio state versus usc uh usc won and we went to chipotle afterwards and mark sanchez was there and dads would walk up and be like mark

such a pleasure to meet you. And this is my daughter, Erica. Come over here. Say hi to Mark. I was like, what is going on here? I was in line with you. It was weird. Mark would be like, hey,

so can I get a burrito bowl to go? He handled it pretty well. The dude knew how to be famous. He was like a celebrity already. I heard he slept with all of his offensive linemen's girlfriends. Yeah, he told me that. What? Yeah yeah that's like a power thing whoa fuck that and then i heard one of them decked them you're good yeah i'd be letting dudes through all the time hell yeah right

you're supposed to like take care of your own taking this playoff yeah you're doing a little ray from remember the titans but for different motivations not because you're racist yeah yeah yeah we know you're not racist i'm not racist that's true no i can't even joke about it because like you are such a good guy i'm just like no it's not even funny yeah you wouldn't even make a weird cum noise um should we do one more question are you guys uh you ready to push let's push yeah let's push chad there's some stoker out there he's just gonna be lost for another week chad what's your uh what's your b for the week my b for the week is um i gotta do this i gotta do it cyclists dude whoa for the week is cyclists good call dudes you have way too way too much moxie i think i'm using

that word correctly i mean way too much confidence you're not in a motor vehicle you're on a bike get out of the road get out of the road especially on like the the road, especially on like the PCH. When you're in the highway and stuff, you're just like, dude. You know, and it's like, who, like, why do you have to bike on the PCH? What is going on? And it's like, you know, I don't know, man. It's so, it's so frustrating because you'll be like going and you just get behind some cyclists and you're just like, it's so ridiculous.

You know, go find a trail. Go to the LA River. Go bike the LA River. You know what I mean? Get on a concrete trail and bike that. Don't get in the middle of the road. Hold up traffic. Go get a peloton yes

we listen to dj music inside yeah freaking great time yeah it's like you know get out of the road like i don't know yeah it had to be set you know i'm sure we have some cyclists listening but you know what dudes the time has come and i have to lay down the hammer on you get out of the road also dude chad do you have your back even more we're in la dude yeah this is a fucking car culture city dude yeah you ride a bike in this city you're not asking yourself if i get hurt it's when you get hurt exactly and it's like huge potholes too huge potholes and it's like you know you hold up traffic in like a small town it's like a minor inconvenience you hold up traffic in la it's like... There's huge potholes, too. Huge potholes. And it's like, you know, you hold up traffic in like a small town. It's like a minor inconvenience.

You hold up traffic in LA. It's like, we only get brief moments without traffic. Our window's small, man. In every respect. In our careers, in our love lives, and in our travel. It's a small window. Yeah. And it's like, dudes, you got to get out of the road.

I don't do that. Dude, I had a friend's dad. Ross's dad, Finley. Robbie's dad ross's dad finley robbie's dad finley warrior great man one time we were chilling over there and he was in full biking regalia like the reflective shirt the short shorts just head to toe decked out and then he just got on his little indoor bike that's awesome. Brother and I were like, you biking up the beach? He's like, no, no, I'm going into the gym.

What's his accent? No, I'm going into the gym. He's Scottish. Scottish. I'm going into the gym. Lads. Yeah, lads. I'm going into the gym.

All right, boys. No, you fucking idiot. I'm going in the gym. Thing is, he's the toughest guy. He could kill us all before we could spell help. He's the toughest man alive. He's just like, I'm fucking with you. Made us something else. Yeah the toughest guy. He could kill us all before we could spell help. He's just like, made us something else.

Yeah. Good guy. Yep. Aaron, you got beef? Sure. What's your beef? My beef of the week is with the St. Louis Cardinals. Wow. They're my team. I love them to death. But they fucking suck right now.

Lost two games to Detroit this week. Three of four to Pittsburgh. Two of the worst, not only teams, I'll say franchises in history. Awful. It's great. For years. Wow.

And we have Nolan fucking Aaron Otto. We have Tyler O'Neal hitting bombs. We have Goldschmidt finally hitting bombs again. Can't do shit right now. Can't put it together. What is it? Pitching? It's a little of both.

I mean our pitching is not holding anybody down but our hitting is not making up for it either. So it's really rough. Strider. Hopefully they get out of it. Who's your beef of the week?

My beef of the week and JT I don't know what your beef is but week my beef of the week and jt i don't know what your beef is but it could be the same wait is it should we say it on three all right or do you want it let's say let's try and guess it because we had a recent similar experience and i think we were both talking erin grievances after it yeah but let's see let's see all right one two three noise making things at NBA. Okay, so both at stadiums. We went to a game together.

I'm saying yes. Chad came too. We went to the Clippers game. And Chad, hilariously, I'm like, yo, Chad, I'm going to grab a batch of tickets for the Clippers game. He's like, yeah, man, sounds good. He's like, I'm running a little late.

I'm like, no worries. And then he texts me and goes, holy shit, had no idea it was the Western Conference Finals. Chad is such an avid sports fan. He thought it was the beginning of the NBA season. Yeah, I was like, regular season game? Yeah, sure, I'll go. And I get there and I was like, there's all this traffic and stuff.

Western Conference Finals and Stephen Smith walked by me. I was like, whoa. Dude, amazing. Hey, Clippers didn't know it either that night. Dude, that was a rough game that was a terrible game it was very exciting but they couldn't hit a bucket on either side

no there was like three and a half minutes in the fourth quarter with no scoring they both shot under 35% disgusting unbelievable but my beef is with they've got to do something and I don't know what the fix is

so I hate to have a beef and no fix but dude when it becomes a fucking free throw contest and foul and the clock and the the game is stopped every 15 seconds for the last fourth quarter it is unwatchable it is the worst product i've ever seen in my life dude they are no longer playing basketball at that point they're playing some other weird game and it sucks yeah so that's my beef dude fucking they got to fix that shit, dude, and make it flow better, man. Yeah, because, I mean, at the end of the day,

it's like entertainment. You know what I mean? It's a viewing experience and then you're like, I wanted to leave the game. I was like, no, dude, it was an exciting game.

And I wanted to see the end, but I was like, you're driving me crazy. I was like, let's just end this thing. I mean, we turned to each other. We're like, what the,

let's just get out of here. Yeah. And then, you know, you're like beholding, all right, you got to see the end, but it's a brutal viewing experience. And then all the reviews and stuff and they still miss a bunch of calls. Oh, here. Yeah, let's go. And then, you know, you're like beholding, like, all right, you know, you got to see the end. Yeah. But it's a brutal viewing experience.

And then all the reviews and stuff, and they still miss a bunch of calls. Oh, dude, yeah, bro. It's just too much stoppage. Terrible. They got to soccer it up a little bit, and I thought I'd never say that, but they do. Soccer sucks, dude.

Bro, when the guys fake injuries, dude. The faces they make when they fake it. Like, I know guys are taking, you know, they're acting in the NBA, but not to that degree. Yeah. Like this, you know, incredible superstar of a soccer player falls to the ground

and he's like, ah! Then you watch the replay and no one touched him and you're like, dude, aren't you embarrassed? It's unbelievable. Like, your kids

are going to watch this. Yeah. Like, I'm watching this. I think you're a dork now, man. 100%. And then you think like the doctors that come out

and like spray them, it's like, put them, put those guys on COVID. They cure fucking writhing pain in heartbeats. It's unbelievable. It's just a boring sport. Yeah, dude.

Not enough going on. Although I will say I've been enjoying watching the Euros a little bit. I watch them, but it's not the... No, no, no, no, baby. It's not football. It's not fucking... It's not basketball. It's not MMA.

No, no, no. It's not even playoff hockey, dude. No. baseball at the game. It's not MMA, no. It's not even playoff hockey, dude. No. My beef of the week is with artificial noise creators at stadiums or sporting events.

The Clippers had a little fan that you could blow yourself with, but everybody slaps it against their hand. I hadn't been in a big crowd, except from when we went to Club Access in Vegas a couple weeks ago. But I hadn't been in a big crowd in a year, and I was like, I'm ready to get out of here. The noise was awful. When I was younger, when the angels had their

magical run in oh one when they won the oh two when they won the world series which was such a awesome play on front such a likable team the giants down it's such a great series and then we had the thunder sticks which were so annoying and then and then you know thank you japan most famously the uh the vuvuzela as well as oh the south african world's cup yep which made the viewing experience kind of annoying as well yeah the players hated it everyone here everyone in the u.s when we put it on like i remember me and all my buddies were like hey is there a weird fuzz on the tv yeah and then we learned no they have this instrument that they they blow at games i'm like we don't need it your claptor and your

voice are enough if someone someone, for whatever reason, is incapable of either of those things, incapable of either of those things, then yeah, we'll give them a noise machine. But we don't need the whole stadium to have it. It's just havoc. Horrendous. Chad, who's your babe of the week?

My babe of the week is Hector's wife in the movie Troy. Let's go. I think very slept upon character uh i mean she stands by hector and he gets killed by achilles she takes it on the chin and supports him throughout the whole thing and you know she could just be absolutely furious with paris and helen because they started this thing they got her husband killed you know it's their fault and she has to go watch him get killed by achilles you know and she it's like and i just admire her strength in those moments and uh for you know pushing through and and and supporting hector and and uh yeah i just i've been watching the achilles verse hector scene over and over again because it's so good great scene um and yeah i i was just like why i was like man she you know

she goes through a lot and no one really no one really stops to say, like, hey, this sucks. Yeah. This sucks for you. Yeah. And so that's why she's my babe. That's a good-ass call, dude. Aaron, who's your babe of the week? Come back to me. I've got to think of someone. Strider, who's your babe of the week?

Babe of the week's got to be my GF, dude. Nice. Dude, we've just been posting up. We're planning a trip to Ojai right now. Nice. It's been just fun planning, dude. You never thought, is this even more fun than the trip?

Of us just imagining what's going to go down, then we go live it. So it's tight. We were originally thinking, let's do two or three nights there, but then we came to this plan of, let's attack SoCal, dude. Let's attack it, dude. Little day trips, one to Ojai, maybe one to Santa Barbara, and spread them out over the summer. Have a little fun that way, dude. We came up with, dude. Little day trips, you know, one to Ojai, maybe one to Santa Barbara and spread them out

over the summer. Have a little fun that way, dude. So we came up with this plan for a dank time together and I'm looking forward to executing it. Nice.

Little road trip summer, dude. Nice. My baby of the week is Fat Man Scoop. So at the Clippers game, so at halftime, they had Warren G,

who I'm a huge fan of. Regulator's probably my favorite song in junior high. He performed, but it was kind of a low-key performance and they kind of boned him because they had him perform up in the seating

rather than on center court. Yeah, so you couldn't really pay attention to him. And it was, you know, if I'm being candid, I don't want to be hard on you, Mr. G, but it wasn't the best. It didn't fire me up. But then in the third quarter, the Clips go on a run, and they tie it up, and it feels like they're going to come back and win this game, or right before they tied it up it up fat man scoop comes out and does an intermission performance and just

tore the roof off the place he has that song from save the last dance was like you got a five dollar bill put your hands up be faithful yeah and he just was going ballistic with it his energy was so good and then he just kept building the energy in the in the arena and we were just totally in the palm of his hands and we were feeling like the clippers were about to just go on a run and i think they did after this like after his performance i was like no way the clippers lose this is on fire but then towards the end of it when he had a set like the peak just ready to pop what did he do he ripped his shirt off he's not the most shredded dude but he was sexy as hell oh dude it was the bomb it didn't matter what it looked like the way he owned it yeah and he just took it off and the whole crowd was like and i was like this is a real performer dude like

this guy is taking it over and he's making me believe they're gonna win which i think is what his job was dude one of the best shirt pull-offs i've ever seen with the worst shirt pull-off i've ever seen adam divine or levine or whatever the theme at the fucking halftime show the Super Bowl worst shirt pull-up and Ricardo and the show strip search on vh1 and oh six a horrible shirt pull-off terrible dude because it was all about him But dude exactly selfish self-centered. It was all about him at the Clippers game scoop was doing it for all of us, correct Scoop was doing it for you. He was doing for me and he was doing it for the boys on the court Yeah, the men on the court. Yep. He's doing it for the men on the court that's right dude that was it was a great performance so that guy got a fan for life out of me chad who's your legend of the week i love that song

by the way be faithful it's so good so good my legend is eminem gotta give him props you know i mean growing up watching him on mtv he's the man he is he's just killer i wish i want to see him live um but i mean you know too many songs to count everything every song's a banger i mean we're watching the music video for forgot about dre i remember when that came out you know and and that music video or just all he he crushed it he really sort of yeah he got his opportunity and he had the skills to back it up and he dominated and then eminem show and cleaning out the closet cleaning out my closet uh great song and um yeah man i i still go back and listen to his music and it holds up so well it's like even better than i remember every time i listen to his music i'm like i sort of i admire him a little bit more you know what

else he's good at too is like when he does a guest verse he always murders it crushes it like on that drake song forever yeah all the verses are pretty good like lil wayne's is really good but then eminem comes on you're just like oh yeah just tore this thing apart yeah yeah or patiently waiting oh dude it's great patiently waiting and until i collapse is probably one of the best workout songs of all time oh yeah yeah yeah eminem's a beast aaron who's your babe who's your legend i just i don't have anything i think i blew it on the first episode we did tonight so oh yeah we ran these two these back to back

dude it's hard to have that many beefs babes and legends in one week yeah there's only so much to go around Strider

who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is Christopher Maloney dude dude you guys are picking some great folks he's a beast he's the chef

from Wet Haunt American Summer he crushes it then I was talking to my brother apparently he's been on like what NCIS forever in one of those fucking shows

Law and Order that's it yeah you don't know that no but here's the thing he has his own I didn't know Law and Order now that he was doing this

I thought he was done I just knew him from Wet Hot American Summer and I go no he's been beasting it forever dude and he's so fucking funny in that comedic role he's so committed and amazing

and then he does lawn or svu like procedural very different acting style and type but drills it i mean dude he's a beast the rig on him too right yeah great rig he's like bane bro he could have played bane he would have he could have played bane easily he could be a lead man he could be they said they were having problems with his voice you know like that was a big could have played Bane easily. He could be a lead man. He could be top of the class. Oh, did you feel the darkness? Oh, did the darkness. They said they were having problems with his voice, you know? Like, that was a big lot of rumors in the buildup. Everyone's like, they can't get Bane's voice right. And I was like, they never found it.

They did not get it right, dude, because all it sounds like is when you're making fun of your buddy for having a bad haircut. Ooh. Ooh. Batman. Look at your life again. What kind of interview was it?

Anyway, he's like to Batman, the fire rises. And Batman's like, oh, the fire rises. Yeah, he could have defeated Bane just by making fun of his voice. Yeah, totally. You merely adopted the darkness. I was born in it.

He's like, cool, dude. Is that your voice, bro? Is that really your voice? Yeah, dude. And then all of Bane's men look at each other like he does kind of have a weak voice. Yeah, yeah. They're like, why are we following this dude? He's like, come on, gentlemen.

We're going to take over the city. It's a weird pick. Weird pick. Well, Batman can't really talk either, though. That's true. He has a ridiculous voice. It'd be a ridiculous voice off. That's like the biggest weakness of those movies.

And the only guy who drilled it is probably Heath Ledger with with the joker his voice was incredible unreal unreal the choices he made yeah wait so did you do you think those other actors yeah i finished my thing but do you think those other actors try to do more cartoonish fun voices because of heath ledger's dominance totally i bet you tom hardy felt a lot of pressure like coming off like you know top villain of all time like definitely in like you know the canon of the best villains ever who are the other ones like hans gruber oh all the time who are the other ones people turn to a lot maybe robert patrick and t2 um yeah he's really good uh anthony hopkins hans lambs anthony hopkins hans lambs uh pan's labyrinth the bad guy and that's really good uh christoph waltz christophe oh um what's

the cullen brothers movie and uh oh anton chigurh anton chigurh yeah javier bardem in no country those are the good ones um yeah he was amazing that dude my legend of the week is a guy who could rip off all those things with ease knows every movie ever made just an encyclopedia of information but carries it gently you know what i mean just a fun good dude always the best hang very nourishing when you hang out with this guy i'm talking about my brother chris parr knew it already i knew it beast of a dude legend literally you can throw my brother into any group and he will not only assimilate he'll thrive and he's always additive you know what i mean he's always making the hang better and yeah And yeah, it's such a blessing growing up with him.

I mean, he was a very moral person when I was a little more wayward. But it always made me jealous. I'd be like, damn, how does this kid do it so right all the time? And I think he just does it because he's inclined that way. Yeah, he thinks it's the right thing to do. He's got a good moral center. But then he's not like a holy roller. He's like a lot of fun.

Yeah. He has a ton of fun. So if you've got a guy you can go out to party with, but you know he's still going to make you better and he's not going to let you do wrong, I mean, that's a ton of fun so if you got a guy you can go out to party with but you know he's still gonna make you better and he's not gonna let you do wrong i mean you know that's kind of the ideal running mate so stoked to be able to kick it with him and dude he's just creatively oh he's hilarious he's just got great ideas man i was recently working on a project with him and watching him direct shots and stuff and like explain things like you said his encyclopedia he was like no it's the shot that we need from this movie, like Oblivion.

It's got to look like this. And then the guy doing it was like, oh, yeah, okay, I see that. He just explains things. Good communicator. Yeah. That's awesome. And when he's hanging out with other people, he never will have to sell himself out for it.

You know what I mean? Some people will do that, change themselves or try to fit in. He fits in just being him. Yeah. And that's a rarity. He's the best. Good dude. Chad, what's your quote of the week?

My quote of the week comes from Achilles and Troy. Let's go. There are no pecks between lions and men. Yeah, bro. Nice. Yeah, bro. Aaron, you got one? Strider, what's your quote of the week?

I didn't have one, but I'm going to do one from Troy because Chad's got me fired up right now. This is Achilles from Troy. You sack of wine! Imagine a king that fights his own battles. Wouldn't that be a sight? Is that no one else? Is that no one else?

Early Roll by Rose Byrne. Almost, she can't really recognize her she's like the paulo's priestess looks super young yeah yeah persephone you're exactly right dude yeah dude i got some blowback from my bros for this next statement but i think any given sunday is the second best movie of all time behind creed a lot of people don't like the way that the football scenes are shot i think they're phenomenal you're so in the mayhem of it and i don't and the hits are so real and i think they really did film a lot in the mayhem of it and i don't and the hits are so real and i think they really did film a lot of those hits like uh for real like they got a bunch

of stunt guys together and they they really went for it and i think you can feel that intensity in the film but i just love all the characters in it great performances across the board and i think i'm gonna quote dennis quaid's character captain what's his last name fuck captain rooney jack rooney and he's kind of like a hokey dude in it, but a warrior competitor. And he's a little jealous of Willie Beeman taking his shine, but they're criticizing Willie Beeman in the locker room. And he goes, you know, he's not reading the playbook. He's not doing his homework.

I mean, he just don't give a gee golly whiz about the team. And it's such a corny line, but he says it. I'm like, yeah, it's a good quarterback. Yeah. I think Dennis Quaid's one of the rare dudes who can pull that off. He's awesome. Dude, I got to call you out, though, it's a good quarterback. Yeah. Yeah. I think Dennis Quaid's one of the rare dudes who can pull that off. He's awesome. Dude, I got to call you out, though, because we've talked in the past,

and you said to the football scenes in that movie, you said, you can clearly tell Oliver Stone's never watched football. Well, I think he does. But I don't want to call you out. I've changed. Exactly. You have new information. What's changed?

I think I've changed. I think I feel it more now. I see what he was going for. I also think he's about war, right? And I think he was treating football like war. And he wanted to make it feel like that. And now I feel that when I watch it. I like that. And he does, if I'm taking his side in this argument,

I would say he does execute that and he does it well but as far as my viewing experience goes i would much rather have a football sequence that is more akin to a varsity blues which your brother said it was the best but that's a very hyperbolic style as well it is varsity blues every hit they're flying yeah like 20 feet in the air when they hit each other but there's like jaguar noises in fucking any given Sunday like a it's like

a guy's like pointing and it goes like and you're like what the fuck is that dude because he plays for a panther team I mean yeah the player fucking's

finger goes alright it's like Mortal Kombat but that is true varsity blues is more hyperbolic I would have liked

something more like remember the titans football sequences and then i'm like that's the best movie of all time because i love what that movie has to say and i remember the titans remember the titans and and uh yeah it's very pressing about issues in all-time speech with patina yeah it's good it's you know it's good about concussions and stuff tackles that and then it gets into a lot of the racial politics of football yeah dude it, it's legit legit freaking What about do you like when the ball is spiraling in the air and then he puts it to like a great soul trap like? Keep on using me and go with it. No use me. Yeah, I think that is bill with it. Maybe this yeah, dude

Oh, I fucking love that Chris when it Chris spirals is just cutting through the air It's beautiful watch almost like a rooster tail with a spirals is just cutting through the air. It's beautiful to watch. Almost like a rooster tail when you pick a soccer ball and you see the water. That's why Peyton Manning will never be my favorite quarterback. He didn't throw the prettiest ball. No. But, no, his balls could duck a little bit. I mean, he was accurate as hell, but it didn't have the prettiest trajectory.

Whereas, like, Aaron Rodgers is just like. Yep. And a Mahomes. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Mahomes is a velocity. Favre. Favre. yep in a mahomes oh yeah yeah my homie the velocity far far you just don't give a j golly whiz about the team chad there's also something crazy in that movie with i think about it all the time with him and lauren holly as his wife when he's like thinking about retiring and she slaps him in the face yeah oh yeah she does a big 180 i like that dynamic though because i know i know i'm just saying like,

I think about it all the time, like how fucked up that is. Totally. It's not the Cinderella man, Russell Crowe, which I do love, but it's like the life's worth. People have been bossing me around

my whole life. She slaps him and goes, shut up. I will not hear this. You have at least two more years in you, Jack. You're like, he's gonna die. It's amazing.

Did it arouse you? The scene? Yeah. It aroused me. Yeah. Did it arouse you? The scene? Yeah. It aroused me. I mean, not a bit. Not a bit. I've been aroused by Lauren Holly before, but not in that scene. Yeah, what else is she from?

Dumb and Dumber. She's Mary Swanson. Oh, dude. She's got some good parts. Swanson. Swanson. Swanson. Samsonite. New stuff. Segment. Stuffans, swans, swans. Samsonite.

New stuff, segment stuff that doesn't get me horny. It doesn't get me horny at all. When they slice the garlic thin in Goodfellas, no, I didn't get horny off that. No, I wasn't horny at all. It didn't do anything for me. Just another scene of some culinary shit. Yeah. Just another cooking scene for me.

Nothing about it that made me salivate. That made me want to pour over my skin with my fingers. And any given Sunday when he takes the chainsaw to the SUV? Nah, not horny one single bit. No boner on my end. No chance. Yeah, and the movie Witness when they finally erect the new farmhouse for the Amish? No, it wasn't horny.

Just another day at the office for me. Yeah, and the movie Homeward Bound when Sassy, Chance, and Shadow finally find their family? Yeah, it wasn't horny. Just another day at the office for me. Yeah, in the movie Homeward Bound, when Sassy, Chance, and Shadow finally find their family. Yeah, I wasn't horny. No chance. Simon Birch, when he hits that errant foul ball, killing his surrogate mother, and the only person who really cares about him.

No, no, no, I wasn't horny. Wow. Chad, what's your phrase of the week for getting after it? My phrase of the week for getting after it? My phrase of the week for getting after it... Let's touch our toes. Aaron, phrase of the week? I'm going to keep coming back to you.

Strider, what's your phrase of the week for getting after it? Boom shakalaka. Nice. My phrase that we forget after it is from Troy. I think you should say this if you can't find your homie at a party. It's right after Patroclus pretends to be Achilles

and leads his men into battle and unfortunately perishes at the hand of Hector. And then Achilles' main homie, who's got really piercing blue eyes, comes up to him and he's like, we thought it was you, sir. And Achilles doesn't quite get what's going on.

He looks around and he goes, Patroclus? Patroclus! That's great. We thought it was you, my lord. He wore your shield, your armor, your greaves. He even moved like you. Where is he?

He just steps on his throat. He's dead. He's dead, my lord. just steps on his throat oh he's dead he's dead my lord hector cut his throat and in the real iliad they're supposed to be boyfriends right yeah i think that would have made that would have been better in troy honestly yeah yeah it would have made it way more impactful yeah because then when he went after hector he would have been like yo you killed my lover dog right yeah the whole beef is over a lover. Yeah. Yeah, they missed out. Makes more sense for, yeah, they did really miss out on that.

There'd be way more symmetry there. Sorry, David Benioff. Maybe you had that in the original screenplay and Wolfgang just overlooked it, but I think you made a mistake there and you also really messed up the last season of Gangs, or not Gangs of New York. Game of Thrones.

Game of Thrones. Yeah. You blew it, dude. You did. You blew it, dude. You did. You blew it. But dude, that second season, man. Of Game of Thrones? Amazing.

All of us, three, four, let's go. There's brave men over there. Let's go kill them. That's a good one. That's great. Dude, Tyrion's the best, bro. You know, he improvised a line at the beginning of that speech where he goes, I will lead them into battle i will lead them when he says it a second time to himself really yeah or the first time he said he was like i'll lead them i will

lead them he improvised the one to himself nice that's cool dinklage what a beast yeah he's a total beast let's get dinklage and something else yeah you gotta feel for him because you just know there's not parts of plenty but yeah he's a big enough beast like i would go see any movie that he was the lead in i think he'll be back i think he's got that credibility he'll be back yeah is that it we can keep chilling but i think we're good this is fun it's great yeah we got we got calm noises Got everything. Stokers drink Fruit Smash. Check out Helix Beer Bongs at shopcgd.com. And keep leaving reviews.

Love reading the reviews. But most importantly, stay stoked. Nice, dude. Beautiful. That was nice enough. I want to guide you. So I can have the girls beside you. Go with me. Go with me. Let's go deep.

I'm going deep. I'm going deep.