Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 199- Strider Wilson Joins
Episode Date: August 11, 2021What up dudes! This week Strider comes in and puts down the heat. Sign up for new merch here: http://www.shopcgd.com​​​​​​​​​​ Sponsored by Manscaped: Get 20% Off and Free Sh...ipping with the code GODEEP at Manscaped.com. If you wanna trim your pubes during a contagion
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In the episode, we're going to say GODIP20. It's GODIP. Going deep, Chad and JT Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep Challenge AT Podcast. Guys, before we begin, I want to remind you or let you know,
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brought to you by the legends at manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed
for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dinks are looking fresh and clean because
you have pubes you have pubes you have pubes aaron has pubes guys what's the length of your pubes
right now inch no half inch half inch that's not that's not bad yeah my pubes have a nice like four
days ago good call yeah i've got a summer chop right now i'd probably say maybe half inch wait
not that long that's pretty long half an inch is pretty long that is pretty i think they're a
quarter inch quarter inch what did you say i'm probably yeah maybe i'm a half inch and i've also
got some on my grundle too that i let really um yeah do you let those fly or do you get the 4.0
deep in there i'll get in there but you know i'll trim it but i let it i like to have something
there you used to call your taint yeah i used to say taint but i like saying grundle when did it
switch to grundle probably when i read beowulf you know and i was like isn't beowulf's mom or
the monster's name grendel or something like that?
I think that's when everyone, I think it's the taint
until you read Beowulf like junior year high school English.
Exactly. That's how
you know you're a sophomore is when you start calling it
Grendel. And some words match
so well with
the thing they describe. Like espionage
for spying. It's like a perfect
word for that. And I think when you
see Grendel, immediately your brain goes
strip between my ass and balls.
Which confuses
me because people will say the word
chode, which to me is
a penis that is fatter than long.
Some people call their
Grendel the chode. Where?
Who says that? There's bros that say this.
Where? Dude, honestly, my middle school.
Weird. They haven't read Beowulf.owulf no no they didn't read shit they read outsiders that's about it
and chode is a latin word right i believe the etymology of chode is latin yeah i'm colombian
so i can speak just on behalf of maybe i can't but i'm going for it i'll speak on behalf of
colombia for us chode is short fat dick not ever the space
between I'm hoping this is a
regional thing that just existed in your neck of Laguna
Nogal yeah I think that that could
have been the case I don't know why I'm so passionate about it
but I guess I am I'm pretty passionate I mean
dude we live in an era now where words are being
bastardized constantly people are trying to communicate
you know we have words for
a reason to communicate effectively dude
and you know definitions get twisted and mixed around all the time.
And it's about time we found out what a chode is, what a grundle is.
I know what a chode is.
That's interesting.
I'm learning today because I thought chode was Greek, had Greek origins.
Oh, right.
You know, chodes.
Chodes, chodes alongus.
Chodes, the prefix meaning to make fat?
Yeah.
To make fat in the pelvic region?
Yeah, chodes to squash in order to increase width.
I think it's a blacksmith thing.
What other words start with cho?
Chaturanga?
Chaturanga.
What is Chaturanga again?
So Chodes is a province of Spain.
Oh.
Oh.
Do they have tiny fat dicks there?
Probably.
Interesting.
I'm sure they have all kinds of dicks there, too.
Oh, I thought that was sort of like a, you know, like a, that that's sort of.
I'm just covering our ass. Right, right, right. Yeah. I guess I was like, maybe that's like a that that's sort of i'm just covering our ass right right
yeah i guess i was like maybe that's like a source of pride for them so you could be
disrespecting them right now and sometimes that chance you gotta roll the dice yeah yeah
and sometimes girth is good i mean there's been you know i've had you know ladies in the past
before you know now i'm a taken man i've got my dank ass fiance and she
knows i have a small skinny tiny penis that comes quick and you know in the past her and her friends
would talk when we were raging at parties and they would say oh they like a coke can cock
sometimes that's how they joke they would say coke can cock you know and even honestly
one of her friends i don't No. No, no, no.
You know that you can do a move like we do the wristwatch with your hog or you do the goat.
There was a guy, Rupp, who used to do that in the locker room.
Oh, good guy.
Yeah, I heard about him.
Yeah, Rupp, he would really, he was a beast.
He would helicopter his cock in front of all of us.
He would do a wristwatch.
He'd be the goat, the brain.
Yeah.
He had a presence.
Good ball player, that guy. He had a presence about him oh yeah he came he came into uh leather bees
yes the fountain one time and ordered a sundae and i've never seen one someone order a sundae
with so much confidence you could just tell that thing was swinging oh yeah yeah that's nice dude
i was gonna say too when you open the pod by saying... Pour grease on my ass?
I pictured it, and the grease was really hot.
Yeah.
So you're kind of like, ah, ah.
Yeah.
I was thinking about a scene in Wolf of Wall Street when Jordan Belfort is really sort of on his deep dive, and he's going from candle wax to grease.
Nice.
Dude, I have another question.
Do you think you're a good kisser?
I do, yeah.
Nice. Yeah. Do you? I think so sometimes i i wonder yeah like did bobby trip you up is it your thin upper lip that
he was talking about maybe it was that i don't know i could have been that i honestly don't
know where the thoughts sparked i was kind of just driving i was like am i a good kisser i think
sometimes when i kiss someone yeah you know you don't feel the spark but other times you're like this is amazing and so sometimes i wonder if it's even about the
kissing or if it's just about the how you feel about each other the intensity but but there are
bad kissers for sure yeah i remember this girl simona in elementary school it was like my second
makeout ever middle school and she just went all tongue and just you know and that was and that was when
you know when they scare you about stds that time i was like i like made out with her at a party i
was like i have herpes i know and also wait because you thought because she did was she uh
she kissed a lot of people i thought because she was from i don't know you get this i mean
i thought because she was from romania i was like i don't know what's going on over there dude dude you're racist towards romanians yeah dude
they did some i watched the 94 world cup yeah yeah that'll freak you out i'll mess you up dude
yeah um and then this guy that's funny this guy won't drop his name in high school though but i
heard through you know he he's one of those guys that started off high school who was, like, getting all the shit.
They're like, dude, this guy.
All the girls were like, this guy is the guy.
We all got it.
And then he, like, made out with a girl,
and word spread fast that he just, like,
he, like, came in with just all tongue, just, you know,
just sticking his tongue out, and his, like,
he didn't get any more girls after that
that dude that's the thing about like high school reputations like yeah they can be very damning
it actually made me afraid to hook up with people because i was like if i'm bad at it
where it's gonna like circulate and then i'm gonna like take a i'm gonna get knocked down
in popularity yeah i felt too visible he's funny because he he peaked his first week of high school
that happens to some guys too
he came in real hot and he got real cocky and he was just like talking shit and he's like fuck all
you guys like i'm getting all the chicks and then he just plummeted we're like dude what happened
to that guy i went to a boarding school you know and he was in like the the junior year he we're
like where is he and we're like he was in the dorm for like the you know the damned like he was in like the far off right never saw him dude some people can't
handle it it corrupts them i always said popularity corrupts absolutely like yeah and like
there was kids would transfer in or something and they'd be like the flavor of the week and
everybody like the guy's the man yeah and then you'd see the power go to his head oh my god and
then he just started treating people bad and then like a week later he was like done yeah dude it happened to me in an office i
was working in an office and everyone was like everyone was like jt part you're like the nicest
guy ever and i was like yeah i am nice yeah and then um and then i ended up i don't know if i can
say this but i ended up like making out with two people who worked there and everyone was like that
was cool you did that yeah dude i became the biggest douchebag after that.
I would come into the office,
like finger pistol and everyone,
you know,
pow,
pow,
pow.
Yeah.
And they'd be like,
what are you up to tonight?
And I was like,
I was so douchey.
I was like,
I was like,
just trying to hook up,
dude,
just get out there and hook up.
I'd be like saying it to one of the girls I made out with,
like,
it should be cool about it.
And then they all just started looking at me like this.
And then it was like, uh, it took me a while to bounce back but i was like dude i'm a fucking
huge douche right now it's hard it's hard to be in a well first off when things are going your way
it's easy to get to get high on your own supply totally yeah so tame your pubes with help from
that was a long ad wait did we not finish the ad no i have to give them the code but let's get back to kissing after
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two million men worldwide who trust manscape by going to manscape.com with the code go deep 20 um it's tough high school's i mean i don't know if it's a good or bad thing that you're in such a
place of high consequence you know when you're when your your ego is so susceptible you know
like uh because it's like your ego you know you're just not used to that so your ego can
can get inflated so easily and then you're in a place where it can just but maybe it's good maybe it's like good training for the world to
just be like you know keep that shit on the dl for sure i don't know some some people could handle
it then we knew one guy who was like he had great class as a high schooler yeah and everyone respects
it like if someone can like handle the popularity and like can be still decent to people and kind of
above the fray like doesn't get into like like petty squabbles with people where they're
always like beefing with like some guy or girl in class.
Like you do look at those people and you already look up to them.
Like that person's kind of got like adult stability to them.
Do you know who I'm talking about?
100%.
We'll say his name.
Hernandez.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That guy was a beast, dude.
Fucking six fork a don dunk was cool as hell
he's a guy who i met and i was like i was always you know fancied myself a cool guy i got along
with people pretty well i saw him and i was like this guy's cooler than so in his body right i'm
like he'd like meet your parents and he'd have the same energy towards them that he had towards
you but like respectful yeah and i remember like my mom ran into him years later and she just
calls me she's like i saw christian hernandez at cedar creek what a guy dude yeah dude dude he was always the man dude and yeah he was looked like an adult
he was six four as a freshman he was like fucking 220 like dude if you had a crush on a girl and
then he got a crush on a girl good luck dude i mean bro we all had crushes on amy dude we all
had crushes on amy yeah we did and uh then he then i was like i think i might try to ask her to
winter formal this year i think i might i think i might just go for it dude the year before like i
went to see friday night lights with the boys dude didn't want to risk being hurt didn't want to risk
vulnerability to just control the narrative myself so i had a better time with the guys
should have gone to the dance and i was like you know my ass gave me this year dude find out dude
you know that friday hernandez is going with her find out that ben to disneyland find out dude you know that friday hernandez is going with her find out they've been to disneyland find out that he's the fucking man find out that he can charm anybody dude i was like i wasn't even
mad i was just like that makes sense it might have been more damning than that i think they
went to disneyland not only with her but also with his little sister yeah bro yeah dude you
were dead in the water oh no chance dude he was a good dad already dude yeah he was a good brother
and a dad dude wow i'm not really do you think you're a good dad already, dude. Yeah. He was a good brother and a dad, dude.
Wow.
But not really a dad.
Do you think you're a good kisser?
I'm a great kisser, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm a great kisser, dude.
I know.
I wonder why, because my mentality when I'm kissing isn't that.
It's I'm getting kissed.
Ooh.
Oh.
Get kissed, dude, is how I do it.
I go.
Yeah.
Just put myself out there, and then my fiance comes in.
Come back in.
You know what I mean?
Right.
So you're on the receiving
sorry for anyone who hates adr right there you're grateful you're very grateful for it um although
i will share this one story maybe this is too inappropriate to share i was in college and uh
this is before my dang fiance and was a mac and cheese and with this um lady on the swim team
and uh she smelt my hair she goes hold on
what smells and i'm like what and she smells my hair she goes your hair smells like chicken
and i was like oh when's the last time you washed your hair i go uh i don't know she goes get up
it was over dude she was disgusted a disgusting college kid i mean i get it dude yeah that was yeah i don't know that
would you would you do that to someone if their hair smelled like chicken never no that's what's
funny i guess yeah yeah but i get where she's coming but she should have let you wash it right
totally dude i mean we were alice was a party. It was like, yeah. Smells like chicken. What's your kissing mentality?
I don't know.
I think I come in from a place of like, I'm going to caress these lips.
You know what I mean?
Just get in there and just, you know, soft, but then wait for the opening and then just dart the tongue in there.
Oh, I love that.
But not aggressively.
Yeah, I think I'm pretty fire at it.
Not to be cocky.
I love it, dude.
I'm fired up on my guys.
I don't want to have a high school situation where it starts to travel fast.
Of course, of course.
JT, I think you're a great kisser.
I'm sure you're good.
Oh, no, I'm not doubting myself.
Yeah, I think you were.
I think you were.
Oh, I was.
Yeah, you were.
I was. And you got passion, okay? Yeah, dude. No, I'm a, I was. Yeah, you were. I was.
And you got passion, okay?
Yeah.
No, I'm a good kisser.
Yeah.
You're a good kisser.
I was just thinking about it like it was like a thought experiment.
Right.
Yeah.
I wasn't like, my self-esteem wasn't really on the line.
But no, but sometimes I do doubt it.
Yeah.
But yeah, I think, you know what?
I think I'm fired up because you guys believe you're good kissers.
And I know you are.
Yeah.
And I'm like, yeah, that's the energy I want to be in.
And you know, believing is doing.
Yeah.
There's things that make sense.
Yeah.
Ketchup.
French fries goes in ketchup.
Pasta sauce.
You know, meatballs go on spaghetti.
Syrup on pancakes.
The way you dance, you're going to be a good kisser, dude.
It wouldn't be incongruous otherwise.
It wouldn't make sense, dude.
We wouldn't be incongruous?
It would be incongruous.
Oh.
Yeah, yeah.
I thought he...
My bad, dude.
No, I saw he... I could see you dude no i saw he i could see you in congress
as well i could see you in congress dude i would love to man i could push in legislation just i'm
on that alexander hamilton kick too yeah dude i'd love to be a part of just some landmark movements
in this great nation i don't think i could be a politician just because we've been to city council
meetings and it's so boring like like the the issues you know that you
talk about you're like what about these you know you're like the mayor and they're like what are
we gonna do about these parking meters and you're like dude i don't give a fuck what about hubby to
the first or whatever number no i don't female pres no i don't want to be that guy no way no way
but like in central casting if they were making a movie where they're like we need to have a likable
like husband for the president like a handsome guy that all the ladies watching will be like, yeah, that would be the guy I'd want.
Okay.
If I were like...
Megan Hughes.
Thank you.
I appreciate that.
Thank you.
If I were like Megan Kelly's husband in Bombshell, he comes off as like a pretty badass dude.
I don't know anything about him, but he comes off as like he's also dude uh i don't know anything about him but he comes off as like
he's also he's not just her husband he's also like right he's also done well for he's not
furniture yes i think i think if i had like a backstory of like oh this guy you know he's a
crypto whiz and you know he he built two tours yeah he built factories in mongolia then i think
i'd be you know i think
i'd be able to take on that role but if i was just like the yeah i'm the stay-at-home dad
no dude you'd be freaking eleanor brozovel dude that's who you'd fucking be dude getting stuff
done starting nato dude are you for real right now dude i'm fucking 100 for real right you'd be
hillary clinton ton of fun dude thank you dude harry harry clinton dude
you'd be michelle of the obama dude the obama yeah dude the bomb did i'd be uh barbara
barbara manscape bush barbara grundle Barbara Tainer you'd be Geraldine Biltford Tubb
oh dude oh
you'd be
Nancy
pay to see my ray gun
yeah dude yeah
I'd be Jackie
Jackie can
can he not do
anything yeah oh man uh i've got my summer outfit on looks great summer outfit it looks awesome dude
bringing the heat dude i was gonna ask what's the worst sunburn you've ever had
dude it might be on our trip to cabo a couple years ago when i just i got torched you
remember that my back i remember that dude you were by the jacuzzi laying down i remember i was
like you were chilling really taking in the rays and i was like jt we got to get chat out of the
sun dude i remember that you were like you were really enjoying the rays a lot you guys had a
team meeting and it was amazing and i was like he's getting too many rays dude I was sitting there sipping a drink and Strider just comes over
and goes hey
head up
I look up
I'm like what's the deal
he goes keep an eye on Chad
he's burning
yeah you were burning dude
the thing is
because I never want to
cut you off from getting
your rays
I preach
you know what I mean
but at the same time
you know
don't want my dog
to get freaking
roasted too hard
and I want you to have
energy for El Squid Road
it was stressing him out dude
like I was like I was like hey man you want to play like a checkers you know the
checkers board out there and he goes yeah man yeah and then the whole time i bet his strider
it's your move yeah he just was staring straight at you i'm like what's up he's like i can't stop
worrying about chat yeah dude the only thing more savage than your massive intake of rays
was how much fucking avocado jt was housing on that trip bro yeah we We'd order guac, and they gave us a shit ton of guac
because we're three dudes,
and they know that by looking at us,
we can freaking house that shit.
And then JT would order,
and then can I get an avocado on the side?
And every time the guy would be like, okay.
Yeah.
I remember I Googled,
can you eat too many avocados a day?
I remember that, yeah.
Short answer is no.
You weren't allowed to get sunburns in your house, right?
Nope, dude, my dad was a dermatologist. Hilarious. We were like, yeah. Short answer is no. You weren't allowed to get sunburns in your house, right? Nope, dude.
My dad was a dermatologist.
Hilarious.
We were like, yeah, bro.
If sunburn was the worst transgression you could ever have, dude,
if my dad caught you at the dinner table looking a little bit red, dude,
you better be blushing, dude.
You better be nervous, dude.
There better not be a sunscreen.
Yeah.
Or, excuse me, a sunburn.
So, yeah, worst transgression.
Would you ever just sell that?
You'd be like, dad, are you sunburned?
You're like, no, I'm just constantly embarrassed. I would try. I'm literally blushing. Yeah, I'd be like, oh, no, worst transgress. Would you ever just sell that? You'd be like, dad, are you summer? You're like, no, I'm just constantly embarrassed.
I would try.
I'm eventually blushing.
Yeah, I'd be like, oh, no, I just got off the phone with this girl.
And whatever, he's like, you didn't talk to a girl.
I was like, yeah, you're right.
And I was like.
He'd call you out like that.
Yeah, he'd call me out hard, dude.
Dude, the best call out your dad ever had was when we were supposed to get jobs.
And we applied for five, and we already felt like winners for applying.
and we applied for five and we already felt like
winners for applying
and then his dad comes home
and me and Strider
in the parking lot
or driveway
just shooting hoops
and his dad walks up
and he goes
did you get a job?
and Strider goes
no but we applied for five
before he was convinced
his dad goes
success is all that matters
and walked right past
did you ever
did you ever come home
sunburnt?
oh yeah
oh dude I remember one time i was at a volleyball tournament
and he like came to the tournament and i had a sun except the beach all day then i went straight
from the beach to my volleyball tournament and had a bad sunburn and didn't even know what he
said i played well and i was like i was all stoked after the game i was like oh he's gonna
compliment me for playing one he's like you got a sunburn. Unbelievable. Looks stupid. I was like,
I don't know.
I don't think it looks good.
It's like,
he's like,
calling it stupid.
It's a good way to get your chains up.
Yeah.
All time quote from my dad too.
This is an all time quote from my dad.
As we're at the park,
it's like a soccer game,
a youth soccer game,
third grade,
fourth grade,
something like that.
Young,
impressionable.
And I was thirsty after the soccer game and I was going to use uh the drinking fountain yeah and he goes what are you doing and
i was like oh thursday like i just played a soccer game he's like drinking fountains are for idiots
i go wait what like yeah because people wash that people wash their hands in that dog's
asses get washed in that it's a dog's asses i was like what do you think's going on here he goes idiots use drinking fountains all the time dude like get me water dad i was gonna say like yeah i drank all my water i
was like dude i'm thirsty bro like that's house this capri sun after the game dog's asses yeah
dude i um my dad was really pro sunscreen too and i think that's why i'm so partial to tanning now
i think he's sort of like i went the other way because yeah he would just lather me up and and uh i would get really upset about
it he's like you're putting on sunscreen i'm like i'm not like i not today you know and he'd you'd
use like the neutrogena like super thick you know and he'd like lather me up and i'd like go to the
beach and like all my boys would be like dude the, the sun's out. Take your shirt off. I'm like, my shirt is off.
Okay.
It's Neutrogena.
Oh yeah.
Dude, my mom would be, we want to, would want to avoid sunscreen too.
We'd be at like the pool on vacation or whatever.
And my mom would just get globs of like 70 SPF Neutrogena, dude, that like just does
not rub in, dude.
I don't care what, like you'll look like the dude from the movie Powder once she puts it
on you.
And we'd be running by the pool and my mom would just reach her hand out and just slap us with sunscreen as
we walked by it was hilarious yeah like no what was your dad thing about like the sort of commercial
sunscreen these days because there's a lot of stuff coming out that there's pretty bad chemicals
in there yeah have you talked to him about that not much he always was was pushing
neutrogena like neutrogena deals yeah like that's what he always did and maybe there's bad chemicals
in there but i would have to ask him about it but i think his take would be uh you're like
guarantee if you're going to be out in the sun you'll guarantee to get skin cancer as opposed
to like i don't know exactly what's going to happen if you wear some sunscreen right oh wow
you know that's terrifying yeah i mean that's what he would use for your tactics yeah and they say
you know pro tip if you're a guy since you most of us have short hair top of the ears tip of the
nose premium melanoma spots right you forget to get those all the time and they're exposed to the
sun and then back of the neck that's scary that's why i'm growing out this disgusting mullet that my fiancee doesn't really like dude i just like to keep this
long back natural sunscreen it feels like masculine for me to have you've got dank flow and
jt you have great flow as well good curls but chad has like iconic flow yes i mean doesn't
it feel nice having that yeah yeah yeah it does Yeah, it does. It feels nice, yeah.
What's your guys' take on sunscreen?
I don't wear it.
Really? But I should.
I should.
But I don't, if I'm being honest.
Yeah, I just go out there and get some.
You know, because my mom tanned, like, my whole childhood.
So I think it's kind of culturally wired into me.
And you are Colombian, dude.
I'm freaking, like,ish and shit like i just
get burnt like i don't get a nice bronze yeah i when i was teaching surf lessons i would
put on heavy stuff because i'd just be on the sun all day so i would put on like zinc and stuff
but lately i've been i've been putting i've been using like organic sunscreen same uh because uh i think i i heard that
the chemicals in in like you know copper tone or whatever they prevent you from getting like
vitamin d and stuff and that's so it's toxic um so feel you got to use organic so i've been using
organic stuff um and in mexico yeah i use like sun bum i like sun bum smells so good smells like vacation
dude smells good and i yeah i don't think i really got sunburned dude but you know what we went to um
these cenotes which are like the underground fresh water well and you snorkel on there and
there's fucking bats above you it's awesome dude like in tulum amazing but you're not allowed to
wear like nitrogen or like any, you have to get a specific
and they, like, have to check it and they're, like, spit, like, super, I mean, I guess you
could, like, get away with it if you wanted to, but you'd be a dick.
But they're, like, only buy organic and coral reef safe sunscreen because you can't damage
that small body of water.
And the same principle should be applied to the ocean, but it's just so big.
Yeah.
So, it's true.
There's some there's some
whack shit in there dude yeah i think the organic stuff is and now when i when i'm inside i try to
go like an hour you know and if i'm like out surfing or whatever i put on sunscreen for sure
but it's you know i go to dermatologist every year now i get checked smart good yeah smart
i've had a couple bad sunburns in my
life oh really yeah i spent a week at lake elsinore once and we rented a jet ski for the week
day one top my knees and my feet like second degree oh bro yeah yeah so i couldn't go in
i couldn't use it anymore it was awful everyone who goes to lake elsinore gets a sunburn yeah if you do comes back if you do one lap you're fine i did like a lap and a half
and then a few years later my buddies and i were going to vegas so like two months out i was like
all right i'm gonna work on my tan because i'm so fucking white uh so in the backyard of my house, I did it. And then I did it peak UV time.
That was the mistake.
And I couldn't get all the areas of my back.
So I had this fat cross sunburn on my back that I just had to take.
I took a cold shower.
I was in there for an hour.
It was still hurting.
Just water on my back.
And then so I just took Benadryl and slept for like three days.
Yeah, we'll fuck you up.
It drains you, dude.
Yeah, it was the only way to not itch and be miserable.
And when you peel too, you lose all your progress.
When I came back from Cabo, I peeled pretty heavy.
The peeling process is...
Yeah, it's gross.
Yeah, it's terrible.
Yeah, you wake up in your bed.
Yeah, there's like a flake
in your bed yeah gross i had such a horrible sunburn one time and we went bowling afterwards
i had such a bad sunburn honestly i should have stayed home because people no one could talk to
me without commenting on it but fortunately for me some kids came back from a costume party and
one of the guys had a red mask so i borrowed it for
the rest of bowling nice but you had a sunburn that day and you made it you were smart you wore
a red shirt which i didn't realize learned that from my dad dude and my sunburn was way worse than
yours so there was nothing was gonna cover it but i wore white so i was pops the contrast was loud
but you wore a red shirt and you couldn't really see yours it's the move el matate shirt looks stupid oh you're so funny look it does kind of look stupid he's kind of
right yeah like when you're at a dodger game they cut to a guy who's got a sunburn in the audience
there's an idiot you're disrespecting you're gonna buy a car from someone and the guy's got
a sunburn like i'm not gonna buy a car from my dad my dad was always skeptical that this one guy he worked with was working hard and i go why my dad's like he always
says too good of a tan yeah that's a thing he did have like a perfect tan all the time yeah but i
was like he just prioritized it on the weekend uh it was amazing what do you guys think about
bowling i think bowling is a top 10 hangout i love top 10 hang you're basically getting drinks with
your boys and
having a fun activity to do great great hang in high school as well yes yes great way to hang out
with some gals in high school go bowling totally i don't think i'm as amped on bowling as you guys
are no no because i i might my throws way off or my toss or whatever you how what do you say
maybe your stroke my role yeah my roll it's way off and my arm
goes out and i just you know i haven't taken the time to correct it and i just fucking i gutter it
every time but you know what dude fuck bowling i suck too dude yeah yeah i i don't suck i don't
like that much dude oh yeah what are you i mean i like it i go, dude. Oh, yeah. What do you bowl? I mean, I like it. I go once a year, but fuck it, dude. If you're not into it, you're not into it.
Yeah, I think, you know what?
I don't know, dude. I have a thing about places that make me feel a little bit off and wear shoes.
There's an innate sadness to a bowling alley.
No question.
There is.
A degenerate level of sadness around there.
Yeah.
Even the hipster ones?
Hipster ones, probably not.
Like a Lucky Strike, no. Or like Highland Park park is a cool one you mean small town bowling alleys
any bowling alley besides those yes you go during business hours and it's a fucking stepdad and his
kid or the biological dad and his kid trying to spark up a conversation same with the dave and
busters has this same thing remember we went to the dave and busters and saw that dad i'll never
forget that image i did a double jack and Dave and Buster's and saw that I'll never forget that image
I did a double Jack and Coke and his kids playing like
that fucking House of the Dead game
and I was like whoa
sad immediately sad
to really burrow into the details of it
it was clear that this dad was getting his like day of the week
with the kid you know
and he was hammering back some Jack and Coke
they were having a nice conversation
but Strider and I were there because we didn't have jobs.
So we'd just go to Dave and Buster's on weekdays.
All the games were not ticketed or free play.
It's free play.
Oh, really?
Yeah, dude.
So you could play video games for like six hours for free.
But no one takes advantage of it because they're all at work and have families.
But Strider and I didn't have jobs.
We were just going there.
It was just for a month or so.
But then...
Best month of my life.
We were there for like three hours.
And then we walked by this poor kid,
and I'll try and do his face,
but he was playing House of the Dead
for like three hours straight.
And who knows where his dad had gone.
He just looked like this.
He was... His out and sad.
And me and Strider were like,
we were like, hey, dude, we'll adopt you.
And then we grabbed the kid and we actually took him with us for the rest of the day.
And we played tennis and went to a strip club.
Yeah, it was fun.
And then we went to the Moth,
the storytelling competition that's on NPR. Yeah, it was fun. And then we went to the Moth, the storytelling competition that's on NPR.
Sick.
Yeah, it was nice.
Great rendition, yeah.
And then we dropped him off.
That's sick.
Good kid.
Yeah, he had an awesome day.
A24 was thinking about making a short film about it.
No way.
Yeah, it's going to be directed by Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
Oh, that's going to be fire.
Yeah, it's going to be good.
Really going to be good.
But we're not in it.
No, no. Some guys are playing us who are a little bit younger and hotter
like um way hot yeah super hot guys who are jacked it's sad a little bit yeah so there's
kids from that like outer bank show or something oh uh chase stokes
is that really his name dude how do you know that it's because it because it pissed me off
when i saw it oh really
so it's ingrained in my brain dude you're always the best about that yeah you're always aware when
someone's on your corner yeah yeah it's like chase stokes there was that good looking stand-up
comedian i won't say his name but he did our show yeah and i was like what do you what do you think
about this guy you're like i don't like him and then i was like why don't you like him you were super honest though you were like i know he's good looking we look the same i don't like it
i'm very competitive yeah you gotta be baby you gotta be very competitive no once you said that
though i looked at him i was like i got it yeah yeah i was like fuck this dude yeah i saw him go
up one time at meltdown i was sitting there waiting for the open mic and he comes up you know just smiling just oh yeah jokes and everyone's
laughing i was like you motherfucker way to have the same haircut as me you fucking cheese it's a
valid concern too because like on a lineup right if they're booking eight people they're only gonna
book one person from like each subset of like what kind of person
they are yeah yeah so like if you're in like the good looking cool category like they're not gonna
put two of you on the show no yeah and and i always beef with him from afar i remember one
time i ran into him and i was wearing like a black t-shirt and black pants like what i typically
wear and he's like all black huh i'm like yeah all black yeah and a great joe maurice your funeral yeah restate the fact yeah
all black uh yeah all black yeah can you see dumb ass when people were congratulating joe on the pod
people were like dude congrats on getting the pot atc that's awesome then he go yeah it is awesome
and he would like step on them singing he'd say it really fast it was so funny call it
but so this guy though i had a show one time when i was you know we were on the same lineup
for some reason i don't know what the producer was thinking um but after i went up he like came
up to me he's like hey man i really like your stuff i think you're gonna go really far and i
was like damn it he's nice i was like like, thanks, man. I like you too.
Dude, that happens a lot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You want to not like someone and then you meet them and they're like wonderful.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what's genius in forgetting Sarah Marshall when he finally meets Aldous Snow, Russell
Brand's character.
He's like, fuck, you're cool.
God damn it, man.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a great scene when they're surfing.
It's great.
Oh, you surf too?
And he like gets the place.
He's like, oh, it's like a dog twisted Neil Diamond.
I see what you're going for.
He's like, that's exactly right.
It's so funny, dude.
That's just great writing.
Dude, they wrote that character to be like a professorial English guy
who wore a tweed coat with elbow patches.
And then Russell Brand ripped the audition so hard,
they just totally rewrote the character for him.
Greatest call to air mate.
That's his best thing, for sure.
Oh, yeah.
Besides his two-hour podcast now on Ego, those are also equally. character for him greatest call that i made that's his best thing for sure oh yeah besides
he's like two hour podcast now on ego those are also yeah equally as good yeah he's i'm fucking
with you russell those fuck dude i'm sorry i'm sorry i remember i did that i felt bad
oh yeah branda yeah dude brutal but dude his actually the show he did when he was in a, I forget what the name, Rebrand
or something like that.
It was something like another name pun.
It was an English show and it was just him like with a camcorder, but it had some amazing
episodes.
I didn't see the one, but one of them he does like heroin in it.
Another one he boxes his dad, which is pretty hilarious.
But then the best episode is him hanging out with two neo-Nazis and he really just spends
a couple of days with them and he ends up like breaking down their psychology.
He doesn't even do it.
He has two people who are just like blue collar dudes from England argue with
the neo-Nazis and like break down their argument.
Whoa.
And it's,
it's pretty cool.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
But now he doesn't,
you know,
do shit like that.
Yeah.
But that was really good.
That was really,
really good.
Um,
that was a long thing,
dude.
I had a,
uh,
a crazy experience. Well, no, I found something out that really bothered me i uh i was on a date with a girl who works in reality tv casting and i
told her i had herpes and so we started talking about that and she was like you know you could
never be on a reality dating show because of your herpes and i was like what i was like is that true she's like
yeah it's not allowed and it really upset me i was like that's not fair like we should have people
with herpes we need representation yeah and then so i got a like a spark and i was like dude i'm
gonna be the first guy to go on the bachelor who has herpes yeah she was pretty funny about it too
she just was shoot straight at me she just kept kept going, it'll never happen. And then I was like, no, it will.
I was like, I'll do it.
I'll be the first.
I will be the first guy on the bachelor with herpes.
And she goes, nope, they won't cast you.
Won't happen.
Yeah.
And I was like, lady, give me some, give me some, give me some green lights here.
I want to run with this thing.
I was like, and I think I'm, yeah, I'm going to be the first guy on the bachelor with herpes.
They've had virgins.
I'm like, how about a wholesome guy who fucks?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not like you're tricking anybody, dude.
You'll let people know, dude.
Dude, you come out.
I'll be as wholesome as that virgin.
Dude.
100%.
I pray for the day when you come out of the limo holding the rose and you have like an
asterisk, JT Par, herpes.
Mm-hmm.
And you just come out and you're like, what's up?
I'm JT.
I'm going to write it on the card.
I'm going to go read the card.
It just says, I'm JT. I have her herpes and when she looks up and she'll be gone
and then she might feel bad she you know what you would if she wasn't into the herpes you know
she'd be smart she wouldn't cut me on the first rose ceremony because it'd be too obvious yeah
she'd wait till like round two and then be like we just didn't click yeah you like you know you
say the goodbye is it because of the herpes is it because of the herpes hey shoot me straight is it
because of the herpes though for real it's not a big deal i'm like but look i don't want to convince
you call me after the show if it doesn't work out i'll check so i don't have an outbreak right now
like you're safe you're good lady you're if she, I mean, if you guys got married,
that would be the most legendary bachelor season of all.
I'd be a pioneer.
It'd be so inspiring.
I don't doubt your bachelor, I mean, you make a phenomenal bachelor.
That's really nice of you.
A bachelorette, I guess, would have to be it.
But yeah, I think, no, I got my height working against me
and then some other factors.
No, you'd crush.
What if you were the bachelor?
You have way more personality than those Reynos. I hope so,no i hope so man but i know there's some handsome dudes on there but
you're a hot dude though you're jacked sorry i'm sorry we broke him sorry no dude it was so nice i
just uh fuck man thanks dude my bad dude no don't look at me like that he's not wrong
why are you looking at me like that
dude because he's right dude
should I hop into the ads right now
give him a breather dude
give him a breather
Aaron was like
nah dude
but that was nice
that was nice
I needed that
thank you
you could be the bachelor dude
no dude
would you want to do that
I'd rather be on the bachelorette I think
it'd be more fun
because you could hang with
the bros too which would be sick yeah you can maybe have some bro time even
though you're they're your competitors yeah can maybe make it more of a hang it feels pretty
lonely if you're the the one yeah dude and 15 people in love with you it's a lot dude fighting
for you and shit it's a lot but everyone seems to enjoy it's kind of like the popularity in high
school thing like yeah they all seem to take on the role pretty effortlessly at a certain point and they just love
the uh the kind of energy that's getting directed at them right yeah i mean they always sort of ham
it up too i feel like as if you're the bachelor you have to ham it up oh yeah i could not do
you gotta be like hey like a little bit of that energy today we're in cleveland you ladies ready to tickle my funny
bone and then they have to do like a five minute stand yeah brutal yeah when the when the producers
get a little too hands-on on those shows it's like look we have attractive people in exotic
locations let them do the work dude we don't need put them in the house give it an open bar
yeah have a have a pool have a swim up bar yeah that's all we need dude
have the cars for timeouts let the dramatics happen let people get buzzed i don't need any
fun intros dude the tila tequila show did you ever watch that one oh hell yeah that was phenomenal
dude season two yeah these two this happens sometimes guys will just hate one guy a lot of
times they have good reason there's like sociopaths on there and like like there's a guy in this
season i think his name's forget his name he's like really handsomes on there. And like, there's a guy in this season. I think his name's, I forget his name. But he's like really handsome, but he seems like a psychopath.
And so all the guys are kind of bandying against him.
But I'm worried it's going to just make her like him more.
But on Tila Tequila, two guys hated this one guy.
And they just punched his teeth out.
Damn.
Full on just blasting him, dude.
I used to watch it on YouTube all the time.
Really?
And the guy took it well.
He was like, oh, Jesus.
And he just had his teeth jacked.
And the other two guys were just like...
And one guy, they were both in his face.
But I don't think the one guy expected him to throw a punch.
Yeah.
Because he was kind of shocked.
But the guy just cracks him in the jaw twice.
Wow.
Yeah.
Who's the best reality star of all time?
Is it the guy CJ from the real world?
CT.
CT.
CT.
You know what, dude?
Is it CT, dude?
Dude, you're absolutely right.
Yeah.
What a call, dude.
I'm going to throw this out there.
Is he the best reality star?
I'm going to throw this out there.
Flavor Flav.
Amazing.
He's great.
And that was where my head went.
But I think because he was already a celebrity.
Right, right.
I like that CT's homegrown.
That's a good call.
And then the Jersey Shore cast has some great characters, too, that are undeniable, dude. True, true, true. Yeah. Who's a good call. And then Jersey Shore cast has some great characters too that are undeniable.
True, true. Who's your favorite?
My favorite? It's gotta be Snooki, I guess.
Snooki's the biggest star
from the show, but I do love
Pauly. Pauly's the best.
He's DJs now and shit.
He makes a lot of jing to them. I would love to go see him
DJ.
I kind of want to learn how to DJ
just so you can just go do... You went know you went to friday veers thing yeah dude what's what's their
dj dj press play dude with press play and um uh yeah it just seems like such a fun gig
be amazing did it be so soon you just rake it in you go to cities you never heard of
yeah places you've never been yeah and you're just you're getting people like it's real stoke inducing like you're just getting people as excited as they can be yeah
and then you have like a whole plan for how to do that and you got to follow it and hope that
they respond to it i don't know i think it's a foam cannon it's fire yeah when people kind of
send a djs i'm like uh there's a reason everyone wants to be one it's the best job in the world
yeah but you actually but because of that it's high competition so i think i think the people we know are the best yeah yeah we could
take our route though we could be stoke lords and then transition you know i'd do the three person
dj crew would be awesome there's already two people there's never been three dude yeah we
could be the three musketeers we could split the pressure of the auxiliary cord yeah i mean the other two are hyping
always be fired yeah there literally would be fine yeah there would absolutely be fire
we would have fire dude i would just love to like you know where you do the thing where you like
i've you know i'm like toned up sound you know what the fuck but you like slide the
thing and then it just like the beat drops and then like
you know the the foam cans go burn and you're just and then people are just like oh my god
oh it's the best the fucking confetti falls down and everyone's just like it truly takes your buzz
to the next level you're just like oh it really did you do that's when you do this one you're like
you're like having a good time you're like yeah and then they hit you with like a cold air blast at the right b and then you just close your eyes and go
yeah you go into a different plane yeah where you're kind of just like you get you get taken
above the setting it's so true you're in a different plane of existence yeah yeah you're
like dragon ball z when they go up to that place where they learn how to be Super Saiyan or whatever. Oh, great call.
You're on that cloud.
Did the walk up to the table?
I remember I saw Zedd, and he has the orb thing.
State of the art.
And I remember when he walked up there, he just walks up there, and it's really high up,
and he just starts playing the music music and it just all lights up and you're just like man that's got to be the coolest feeling of all time where he
just he's up there and he's like and everyone's like everyone's like sad sad no way and then you
just see like this figure appear and it just like everything just lights up and you're just like oh
my god oh dude it's awesome you're the captain of the party, dude.
You're the fucking, like, you're a spaceship captain of a sick-ass spaceship that's going to frickin' just rape.
What's your go-to, your DJing song to get everybody moving?
I mean, dude, if I'm going old school, I mean, maybe Sandstorm or Pro Nails.
But that might be a little bit too heavy, too much.
I mean...
Dude, you doing Sandstorm with Fireman?
Rad Anthem.
Rad Anthem.
Zombie Nation, dude.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I can see you rocking the tech last night.
I've been hitting Pitbull Time of Our Lives lately.
Yeah.
My rent was laid about a week ago.
I have my land on, but I can't pay it though. but i got just enough to get up in this club i
think that's flow rider good time no that's pitbull and uh neo oh okay i think the flow writer flow
ride is pretty legit he's amazing he does his music videos are sometimes just him and miami
on a stand-up paddleboard what else do you need that's a music video he does dude yeah no he's just he's paddling he's a house too yeah dude i love that his name it took me
forever to put this together someone else had to do it for me yep his name is florida
his name is florida wait what but he calls himself flow rider oh shit dude i didn't realize that
how long has miami hip-hop been around Probably as long as hip-hop, right?
Yeah.
30, 35 years, 40 years?
Sorry.
I'm probably...
I don't know my numbers there.
But he was the first one to come up with that.
That's sick.
Or do you think someone else had already done it,
but they just didn't pop the way he did?
No.
Do you think he stole it?
No.
I'm getting skeptical.
I wouldn't put that on Flo Rida.
You're right, you're right.
He knows what he's doing.
He's a good dude.
Do you guys remember when Atlanta was huge?
Welcome to Atlanta, where the players played. Oh, that dude you guys remember when atlanta was huge welcome to atlanta what a place play so good every day i mean yeah atlanta was the
spot peace up a town down boom boom boom boom dude and outcast it's amazing when like certain
places just have like artistic kind of explosions come out of them like seattle with like grunge
rock or whatever or like chicago with like uh what was that like blues music like little walter and muddy waters like chess records and all those guys or
cadillac records yeah uh detroit motown yeah exactly uh maybe oc was good for punk rock
yeah vh1 did some specials about that some california ska ska dude yes ska all right should we uh do you have it uh
any new things with your df what's what's what's going on just posting dude just um
shit's going well dude you know grooving dude just freaking in the speed line chilling and
getting it done dude um no wedding plans we're sort of you know just dragging our feet enjoying
the engagement life dude you know do you guys cook anything cool lately you know we're mixing
up our recipes it's actually a great question we both had a conversation we're like our recipes
that we have now are dank but we've grown tired of them we want to mix this up a little bit
we want to do like maybe a cauliflower curry later tonight could be fun to make um we still like to infuse
chickpeas and a lot of stuff we made a chickpea broccoli um fusillini pasta the other day that
was good both hot and cold in your whole life did you ever think you'd make something like that
never would have dreamt it how many of those words did you know when you were 16 zero i still
thought it showed was a chip was it was a grundle at that point not a skinny fat penis
whoa so look at how much of life is brand new to you it's amazing that's the that's what love does
it unlocks and opens new doors takes you to new heights both linguistically lovemakingly and uh
cuisine-ly dude so it's it's just been so freaking tight and you know you got to find the silver
lining in shit and you know we were all locked up in
this pandemic and or most of us but uh fucking we're like dude let's just start cooking dude
we got this kitchen sitting right here let's use it you know we live in la it's easy to post
make there's a million great places to eat we go let's start cooking dude she's like all right
good looking let's go sick ass ryan let's go dude now we're making all sorts
of good shit but you know what i was talking to about i think you we were talking about joe and
another guy chudwin i think they're making dank new york strip steaks and my dank ass fiance and
i have a um skillet like a cast iron skillet and they go they cook new york strips in that
i think i want to cook a new york strip for myself chadwin was really detailed in his approach too with the uh tilting it and then
pouring the rosemary back onto it yeah rosemary garlic rosemary garlic and he says all you need
is a little salt and pepper rosemary garlic like the and you put the olive oil on there whatever
and that creates a nice juice and yeah he really talked about sprint sprinkling that juice on
there once you flip it i want to try that dude you should yeah at home steak i use an air never
done it oh yeah i use an air fryer for my steaks it's so easy and i just put like basic seasoning
on there 10 minutes ready to go and uh but you know i never really mess with recipes or anything
like that i just you know it could be fun yeah i mean i'm down uh uh when i was dating caroline we had some cooking nights
but i kind of let her just take the reins because she on the sous chef yeah sous chef as well you
know yeah i'm like do you mean she's like you could chop up that tomato exactly dude you end
up chopping exactly yeah it happens a lot with. Have you discussed the Chode debacle with your DF?
No, no, no.
It doesn't really.
I mean, it's something that's something we don't really have to worry about.
You know, it'd be like.
I was just talking about the term, like the misunderstanding.
You know, it's like, you know, I used to think Chode was a taint.
Oh, she would be good to talk to.
I think she's very well read and would be versed in it.
But I haven't brought it up with her only because I do have a small cock,
so I don't.
It just hasn't come up.
I mean, you know, it's almost like, hey, how's the weather in Argentina right now?
You know, it's interesting and cool cool but we're in la do you
think saying you have this you have a small cock do you think that makes it smaller
like if you say it all the time yeah is it is it sort of like you believe what you say you
yeah you practice what you preach i think so like i think so if you woke up with a huge cock whoa do you think you'd even
think it was huge i'm that's a good question dude that's a great fucking black mirror episode
yeah like would i i would know because i'd have my same body right
so i would look down and i know my perspective against my leg. I know that. But I'm wondering if there's doors of perception that are deeper than that
and more deciding on what you see.
Potentially.
But I've seen a lot of other dicks.
I've seen a lot of other dicks.
I've been on a lot of other athletic teams.
And all the dicks are bigger than my dick.
Did you?
All of them?
You had the smallest dick on all your sports teams?
Did you ever think...
There was one guy on my freshman basketball team
who had a smaller cock than me.
What was his name?
I'm not going to say it.
I don't know if he's comfortable.
And I don't small-dong shame, but here's the thing.
It's his narrative.
Were you psyched that he was in there?
I was psyched.
I was psyched that I wasn't last.
But also, he had a big bush.
He had a big bush.
So if he shaved his bush, it might have looked a little bit...
Did some of the guys pick on him?
They picked on him more for his bush than small penis.
Right.
And I honestly would be like...
I wouldn't rally it.
Because sometimes, you know, it's high school.
We're immature guys.
If you pick on someone for something, you know, you always...
Everyone gets in on it. But I would never hop on that pick on him train because i knew his affliction do you he also loved wearing affliction t-shirts did you ever spar with
someone you know who's you got the smallest cock and then you sort of and he's like and you're like
no you got the smallest cock and then it's like but you had different body types, so you did the math to analyze?
Mental sparring never really came to a conversation about it or having to be like, hey.
Never like, oh, who's got the biggest bicep?
Guys will talk like that or whatever.
It was just more, this was a different era.
This was an era where I was young and I didn't want to, you know,
I didn't want to, I would even get worried about mooning someone
if my pants came down too far and people saw my small dink.
That happened to me in seventh grade.
Yeah.
And it was, how do you still think about it?
It was a tough week.
Exactly.
So we never really matched up or squared up with one another.
It was more just like, you know, I would close my locker and then I'd close, and then his face would be there when my locker closes,
and I'd look at him.
Do you remember the first time your dad hit you for having a small dick?
Yeah, I do.
I do remember it.
It was even before puberty.
Really?
Before puberty, because he knew.
Because he knew.
He goes,
How soon before puberty?
Let's see.
Puberty is about 13 i'd probably say
i remember probably i would say three and i have a very i'm smart i have a very strong memory from
when i was a toddler and so your dad your dad hit you at three oh yeah because your penis was small
yeah he actually hit me with one of those pool noodles, you know, that you go with the pool.
And he goes, see this?
You'll never have anything this powerful.
He's a little dick.
Whacked me with a noodle right where my dick.
He actually, the thing that was weird about it is he did it right past my penis.
Whoa.
Because he goes, I should be hitting your dick right now, but there's nothing there for me to hit with this.
Damn.
So it was more of an emotional hit.
And you said the hardest part for you was that your grandma was there
and that she...
She saw it.
And she was okay with it.
And she knows that it's his side of the family that my small dick's from.
Yeah.
She knows.
She knows her husband's dick was huge.
Huge, fat, fat, huge penis right mm-hmm
you know blue collar cock you know did that strain the relish yeah cock that
can really deal with grip hand right and that works you know she's Irish like a
built for tough cock exactly a hundred percent I remember you told me that
you your dad told you that when you were born you know the first words out of his mouth
when he first saw you were like
oh this cock is stupid
yeah he said that's a clit
yeah he thought I was his daughter
he said oh man I got a daughter
cause you know he's not progressive
we talked about this when I pinned his ass
he doesn't know
he didn't think my niece would play with proper toys
I had to pin his ass
I felt justified to pin his ass for that
even though I was pinning him cause he was just being a straight-up bitch.
But he thought I was a daughter.
And then my mom was like, no, no, no, no.
Look at the birth certificate.
That's a sack.
He might not have been able to read it.
He was crying.
He's like, that's labia.
I know that's a sack.
Right, and he's a doctor, and he had hubris.
He's like, no, no.
You know Chad. You know how doctors doctors are they're fucking condescending
totally he was trying to tell the obgyn the obgyn's like you're not a fucking
this type of doctor bro yeah he's like but that's skin
and he's like this is foreskin that i just cut off and he held up my foreskin
right and he cried this is all on video I've seen it because you
know we filmed the birth crazy man do you still send him like all those
pictures yeah my dick mm-hmm on his birthday
on his birthday I do
not father's day
not on father's day
on father's day
I don't send him shit
father's day
you send him a tie
with little
your dicks on it
that's what I should do
yeah
at Strider's house
they had the little
squiggly marks
going up the thing
to show people's height
and everybody else's
squiggly marks
were horizontal
going up and then striders were uh vertical going sideways and i was like on the door so
yeah i was like why is your your height is like static yeah and then you were like no that's where
they measure my dick and it was a screen door so it was really thin. And there was almost no growth.
So it was just black line after black line after black line.
Yeah, my dad would call me baby cock because I've had a baby cock forever.
But then I tell him I have love now.
Yeah, and you told me that at the wedding,
no matter what he says, you're serving him pigs in a blanket.
Yeah, there's no question that's going to be the after ceremony, pre-dinner appetizer.
And I'm going to make sure to be like,
you know, I'll become boys with the staff working it.
Dude, I've got some boys who do catering
from valet and shit.
Maybe my buddy Randy,
maybe my buddy Ali or Eric S.
And fucking just be like, dude,
make sure you bring him.
My dad has a goatee.
Bring the dude with the fucking goatee.
Picked in a blanket.
Are you worried that at your wedding he's going to talk about your small thing?
Like, have you talked to your D.F.'s parents about it?
No, no, because he's not going to make a speech.
When you asked your D.F.'s parents for permission to marry her,
were you like, just so you know, I have a small cock?
I told them that, yeah.
I told them that.
It's been amazing getting to know you guys
over this many years.
We haven't been in a long time,
like eight years.
It's been a while.
Should have proposed even sooner,
but, you know,
it's been great knowing you guys.
Really looking forward
to being in the family,
but just so you know,
going forward,
yeah, I have a super small dick,
but I love,
my dick may be small,
but my love for your daughter
is titanic.
I love it.
Should we do some questions?
Yeah, can I take a rip?
What's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation?
And I got dirty last night at In-N-Out.
It was dank.
What'd you get, Double Double?
Double Double, animal style.
Dude, can I be real with you for a second?
100%.
I've never gotten an animal style double double
really dude they're tasty i think i got to i think you know what you know threw me off is the the
uh whatever that is it like pickles yes they put pickles on it the pickled like sauce i don't know
what they do so they it's grilled onions that's what it is yeah the grill which it always looks weird to me but i think i'd be down with it it'd be dank yeah it's grilled onions. That's what it is. Yeah, the grilled. It always looks weird to me, but I think I'd be down with it.
It'd be dank.
Yeah, it's dank.
I mean, you've had grilled onions on other stuff.
Oh, for sure.
It's good.
I love grilled onions.
There's nothing better smelling than like cooking onions.
A hundred percent.
It's the best smell.
Speaking of cooking too, every recipe that my dank ass fiance and I start with involves
heating up onion and garlic first.
And then you just add shit to that.
It's the base. It's everything. it's the best intro yeah yeah so yeah the the the animal style they mustard
fry the patty which is a little bit different so i guess like they put mustard and maybe
some other stuff on there yeah it's a little more savory patty yeah plus extra special sauce um grilled onion pickles lettuce and tomato nice very dank
that sounds really it's really good and i mean i'm sure you can get it like if you don't want
to eat the bread you can probably just get like a flying dutchman animal style i bet yeah you know
or protein style i'd go bread on that oh i'd go bread what i would say is it's
if i'm going animal style exactly you can't i'm not gonna mess around exactly might as well just I'd go bread on that. I'd go bread. What I would say is go full throttle.
If I'm going animal style, I'm not going to mess around.
Exactly.
Might as well just go all in.
I'm not going to be some chump with flying Dutchman animal stuff.
Dude, exactly.
What are you doing, dude?
Get the bun.
Pick lanes.
You know what I mean?
You don't drive in both lanes.
You've got to pick a lane.
Yeah.
Even though Aaron is driving on the wrong side of the road going to Five Guys.
Yeah.
I mean, I guess if you were at Five Guys, you could build an In-N-Out burger at Five Guys.
Totally.
Like, you could ask for special sauce, which is pretty much Thousand Island.
Mm-hmm.
I would be interested to do that, bro.
I would be interested in doing that.
Mm-hmm.
Well, I think...
I think you'll be pleased.
Are the patties thicker, though?
Yeah.
See, that's the difference, though.
Yeah.
I like the thin patty at In-N-Out.
Well, that's the thing, like...
More for me.
After shows, yeah.
After shows, we go all out.
It is nice.
Double, double.
Yeah.
Fries. Fries, well go all out. It is nice. Double-double, fries, fries well done, drink, and a milkshake.
Neapolitan.
That was fun.
Yeah, when we went to, I remember we saw you after the show on Rachel's show on the west side.
Yeah.
You got the shake, and my brother and I looked at each other and we're like,
Gotta get the shake. Let's go get some fucking shakes.
Yeah, dude.
So good. Nothing fires me up more than a shake or ice cream it really is the best treat dude i
love it i love ice cream not picking an ice cream cake though funny enough no but yeah you need
actual cake you know what also too the the ice cream's so cold that it like cools down the cake
part so it's all hard and stuff and you're like you know
you need like soft cake 100 all the mode dang like a lava cake and like fucking chilies yeah let's go
the fucking cake is hot and then you just put an ice cream scoop on the side yeah it's amazing
yeah pizookies are delicious yeah bj's could have got one there last night except they had valet and
it was the line was packed out the door dude you can go you can drive past valet just
drive right past it South Park oh really you can I did I blew past this lady mmm
still all the time smart yeah yeah no like there was no
values like there were no spots though it was going off yeah Bert downtown
Burbank was going off last night. Oh, yeah?
With families.
Yeah.
They were out.
People are out.
They're looking to go.
Are you guys scared of this Delta variant?
Let's get into it.
What's going on?
I'm not scared of it.
I'm scared of implications it might have.
But my thing is like...
I think we're good.
I can tell you were stressed about it today.
Yeah. I think we're good. I tell you were stressed about it today yeah i think
we're good i think if the vaccine's available it's like what else can you do and dude i think i think
people have made up their minds collectively that we're in a different phase of this thing and i
don't think we're gonna go backwards no i don't think we have the the collective will to do that
i don't have it yeah like uh i'm ready to go yeah and i was like the most scared and i'm like and you know
not that there's greater extrapolation just from my way i'm thinking but i don't know like i think
people want to get out there yeah i still wear a mask in the grocery store and stuff though
same yeah like that sort of place i carry one in my pocket all the time
well right now and to quote joe today when i asked him at the park
i go joe are you afraid of the delta variant he goes i don't believe in that
so maybe maybe hopefully joe's right yeah talk to joe um are you guys ready for some cues
fuck yeah okay this one has a good title her Her help. Her dad's dumb as fuck.
Hey, Stokers.
Need your help here.
So due to COVID, my partner and I were separated and she had to move back to the Netherlands.
Eight months later, I moved over to live with her until her passport arrived so we could move back to Australia.
To save money, we were living with her dad and until our flight later in the year till we returned back to Australia.
And until our flight later in the year, till, till we returned back to Australia.
Issue is her dad's maybe the dumbest person I know consistently spitting out completely false facts and just in the house being an all around slob, no cleaning, cooking, groceries,
et cetera.
I love my girlfriend, but don't know how to deal with her dad.
He's not a scary lad, just a skinny six year old alcoholic who spends his days scrolling
through chicks on Tik TOK.
It's his house.
So I have little power and he's my girlfriend's hero.
Any advice on how to deal with this?
More info.
If you have the time,
the guy clearly,
the guy's clearly sending himself into an early grave as a two pack a day
cigar smoker and alcoholic.
This is obviously devastating for my partner.
My partner is one of four daughters and none of them seem to have the guts
to really grill him to be better.
As a guy, maybe I can talk to him on a man-to-man level,
explaining that his choices here
are hurting his daughters,
or is that not my beef at all?
Sorry for the negative stoke,
but keen to hear your advice.
Cheers, guys.
Love the pod.
I mean, dude, he's going to be moving out soon.
It's not going to be a problem.
Sounds like he just has annoying roommate grievances, dude.
Like, this guy's habits and all that type of stuff.
Yeah, it's really affecting him.
You and your old man aren't supposed to be, like, living in the same area.
Unless, you know, you're married and you're a couple and that's a different thing.
You're in a relationship.
But, like, the boyfriend or the husband of the daughter and the dad aren't supposed to be in the same place, dude.
Like, for a prolonged amount of time.
You're going to have beef.
Yeah.
You're just going to see the world different.
And then, obviously, his health stuff and and everything he's probably a fucking sweet guy dude
and that he raised the a woman that you love and and you know everyone's flawed and yeah he shouldn't
smoke he's he's got the judgment of someone who's been living with someone for a while like he's
just judging the fuck out of all this guy's weaknesses yeah and then he might be right like
the guy might be not the best but dude i just i just do not think
that is your place yeah to tell the dad especially at this stage when you're not married or have kids
or you don't know each other that well like and you're saving money you can't be telling people
how to change their lives at this point yeah and you're not willing to go live in like a
a weekly hotel room or something then right then you just have to eat it
yeah yeah that would be like you suck man but thanks for paying for all my shit exactly my
house no groceries he's like i'm hungry dude he doesn't get fucking dino nuggets dude from tjs
dude what the fuck dude yeah also like i don't know dude if my girlfriend was staying at my
parents house and then she started giving
my parents shit about their lifestyle even if i agreed i'd be like what the fuck are you doing
yeah yeah yeah like yeah what are you doing like just picture that your girlfriend going up to your
dad or something and being like you know you really even if she just did something like you
really shouldn't eat that i'd be like what i be like, don't talk to my father that way.
Yeah.
I can't imagine saying something like that to her.
No way, dude.
You know what you can do is just crush it and shame him that way.
Model good behavior.
Where you're just sort of being like super healthy and stuff.
What did you do?
I just went for a run.
Exactly.
He'll feel that. Exactly. But you don't have to to say anything and that'd be good for the guy too it's like if
you just take all that it's all stuff you don't want to be so if you do the opposite yeah just
run a lot like chad was saying read a lot you know go get groceries a lot yeah yeah and get busy dude
like you'll be like don't be in the house all the time and then maybe you have to work remotely or
on a computer or some shit I don't know but like yeah
get fucking busy and get going but I am sensitive when I want if I live with
someone who's I've never lived with anyone I had a couple bad roommates but
for the most part it's all been homies but you know you just you do end up like
you get judgmental because you're just so intimate with them it's you hate
everything they do everything is their philosophy on everything.
The way they close the microwave door.
You're like,
that's fucking who taught you,
who taught you that was the way to close a microwave door.
How could you think that was the way to close a microwave door?
I'm in the last episode of fucking castle right now.
And you're going to close the fucking microwave door on me like that.
Dude,
don't ever disrespect castle.
Do you spoil the ending of everything with how you close things?
Do you know that about yourself?
Have you thought about that? How you just ruin the endings of shows with how you close things do you know that about yourself? Have you thought about that how you just ruin the endings of shows with how you close things?
Yeah, what kind of fucking person does that?
Dude, what's your problem? You're like I think I just need to go on vacation. I just gotta get away for a week
Yeah
Sorry, I'm just fucking fired up. Yeah, just talking to the dad. You know, there's no mayo in here.
Yeah.
This place sucks.
Yeah, Rick.
What are you doing?
Mayo's a base in every recipe.
You gonna have another beer, Rick?
It's Tuesday.
And you're gonna live in Australia,
and the fucking guy lives in Netherlands.
Yeah.
You're gonna see him never, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is it.
Enjoy your time with him,
because I don't think you're gonna have
a lot of hangs in the future.
I did think it was funny, but he's my partner's hero he's probably a sweet dad then
yeah he's got four daughters i mean yeah no mention of them i don't i'd like to know what
the guy's wife is like too no mention of her it sounds like he's scrolling girls on tiktok maybe
it's a divorce he's a single dad and he's got four daughters yeah this guy's a fucking hero
in a sitcom yeah beer and a beer and a cigar.
Of course.
Also, dude,
everything's wrong.
Dude, was this
Man the Dan that wrote this?
What's this guy's name?
Kidding, dude.
Kidding, bro.
Kidding, dude.
Kidding, dude.
Kidding, dude.
What is it about Man the Dan
that he's just like...
I'm just kidding, dude.
No, you're not.
Look,
I want to fucking...
Are you kidding?
I want to fucking
beat Man the Dan's ass, dude. Nice, dude. No, I don't, dude. No, I want to fucking beat man of the dance ass, dude.
No, I don't, dude.
No, I don't.
I'm just going to take people down, dude.
Tell him, Strider.
No, no, no.
Strider, you do.
Here's what I'm saying.
Is this too much to say for not man of the dance,
not man of the dance?
For this guy that just wrote in.
The fact that he calls his girlfriend,
and he's a dude, my partner,
is just everything I need to know, dude.
Oh, dude.
It's just everything I need to know, bro.
He's too intense
yeah like trying to use like the right term when you say it like i thought it was a lesbian couple
at first and i was like that's cool that you say my partner you could still say my girlfriend
i don't know any dude that calls like their sig of you should say sig of the dude why is he saying
my partner is that too much to say that my bad guy for judging him for that no i don't know it's
interesting it's super interesting like maybe he's like one of those really intense guys like Why is he saying my partner? Is that too much to say that? My bad guy for judging him for that? No, I don't know. It's interesting.
It's super interesting.
Like maybe he's like one of those really intense guys.
Like, dude, there's people you meet when they've been dating someone for like three months.
You're like, how's the relationship going?
They're like, amazing.
Just planning our life together.
And you're like, all right, dude, like slow down.
Exactly, bro.
But I don't know.
I don't know.
It could be a regular thing, but it could be something.
Yeah, I think it's there might be a there there. I don't know. I don't know. It could be a regular thing, but it could be something. Yeah. I think it's, there might be a there there.
I don't know.
I get that where like it's, it's, it sounds more mature to say my partner, maybe.
Maybe that's where it's coming from.
He's trying to, yeah, he's very serious about it.
It's clear he wants to marry her, right?
I think so.
Cause or else you wouldn't be, if you're just dating someone casually, you're not worried
about their dad.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also he's Australian.
Yeah.
Maybe they say that maybe this could be an
australian true yeah true my partner my partner she's my partner could be something down my
girlfriend and maybe they're business partners too my girlfriend what maybe they're business
partners too i don't know yeah my girlfriend i mean my father's a drinker it's a crazy place
down there they call fries i just make everyone sound like paul mccartney yeah yeah my father
he's a drinker he He's a pathetic loser.
He walks around the house all day.
He's got no muscle.
He fucking has on a tank top with little shorts on.
He dresses like a freak.
I gotta look at his pasty skin all day.
Doesn't make a smoothie.
Makes himself some cheese and mayonnaise.
He's a fucking loser.
I wanna talk to him man to man
and tell him,
hey bro, be a man.
You raised all these hot daughters.
Take some fucking pride.
Stop looking at chicks on TikTok.
Get into finance, you fucking old bastard.
It's fucking embarrassing.
You're not going to fuck any of these chicks.
You hear me?
You're a loser.
They're just like looking at hot chicks.
It's not a big deal.
You're a fucking loser.
See all those chicks on there? None of them would sleep with you you're fucking out laser
you're fucking drunk bastard
this is not brilliant not brilliant all he does is scroll that's the best thing to be mad at him
about he just scroll he just looks at hot chicks on t all day. He's 60 and retired.
His wife probably passed away, dude, or divorced his ass, dude.
Dude, our friend Gabby, her dad will just post on Facebook hot pictures of ladies.
No, his Facebook.
On his Facebook.
If you look at his Facebook, he's like 65-year-old, normal-looking guy, looks nice as fuck, dude.
All he does is just post really hot chicks on his facebook
but you know it's like okay i don't think i don't think that's ideal but like i do like that that
guy's not scared of what anybody thinks about him yeah you know what i mean he's he's just
check this out hard drive for later check this out dudes yeah yeah that's what i mean like
he check out this smoke it's like a classic car or something he's like this is a cool car i saw
he's a hot 22 year old i saw just like posted dude cindy prado she's fucking hot dude
that's funny um look at this ass jt's australian accent like at first it was like real bad then it
got good for a second and i was like all right i'm really and then really in. And then it got bad again. Yeah, then it got bad.
But the point of view was so what I would see this guy being.
I was like, this is great.
Then he turned Scottish.
Yeah, yeah.
Went Scottish for a second.
Yeah.
Fucking loser.
Dad's a fucking loser.
You're a fucking loser.
You're a fucking loser.
He's a fucking loser.
All he does is sit around, fucking drink, and look at all the chicks on TikTok.
He's fucking pathetic.
You're a fucking loser.
You're a loser.
You're a loser. I don't want you influencing my daughter anymore i'll be upstairs in one of your bedrooms sleeping sir you don't deserve this house you know that i'll take your pink slip from
me i'll take what do you got i'll take your deed from you take your deed take your deed i'm gonna
go to d bar take your deed i'm gonna go to d and get a suntan, you fucking pasty piece of shit.
My father's my hero.
My father's my...
It's an Australian girl accent.
Hey, my father's my hero.
Listen, I know my partner thinks you're her hero, but I think you're a fucking loser.
I think you're a loser.
I think the rugby player Tom Mason is a much better inspiration.
You should have a real hero like my favorite rugby player, Tom Mason.
He's a beast.
You're cracking open another Foster's, you fat pig.
He had 15 tries last game.
When have you ever done something like that, you loser?
Why don't you put some more fucking mayo on your chips, you old scallywag?
Dude, let me talk to this fan, too.
You're probably a cool guy.
No, you're not, dude.
The guy I was doing the interview with.
No, he's cool.
He's cool.
He's cool.
He's cool.
You're a fucking loser, dude.
I might.
You're a loser.
You're fucking...
I think you're a bitch.
Thanks for letting me stay in your house, you fucking...
I'm getting down under your daughter the whole time.
You're paying rent.
Your daughter was sitting on my face and all i
could think was your dad's a fucking loser that's a laser that's his dirty talk hey honey we have
sex call your dad a laser don't call me daddy
what up jay tisland chadster it's your boy zach with a question about a mega babe
with a beta BF.
I work at the gym on campus and this blonde bodacious baddie consistently comes in.
Every day we have serious eye contact and deep conversation about the finer things in life.
But after doing some investigating, I've come to find out she's dating a man child who's never been in the inside walls of a gym.
And plays serious frisbee golf.
And plays, that's a big line, and plays serious frisbee golf and plays there's a big line and plays serious frisbee golf me being the stallion i am with the sane amounts of sarms coursing through my veins i can't help but want
to get my bone on with this bird do i tell her flat out that i'm trying to do the naked dance
with her or play it cool and wait for her to make a move thanks Thanks, doggies. Much love. Go to Australia, you loser.
Yeah, you sound like a fucking loser.
Fuck off.
Your boyfriend, he plays Frisbee golf like a fucking loser.
Like a...
Like a fuck...
What a fucking...
I don't even know any other insults.
I don't like this guy's tone yeah yeah i think he's trying
to joke around a little bit like with the sarms comment he's trying to be like hey i'm being
self-aware yeah i'll go even past toned i don't like this guy's entire point of view
uh you know he he has gym energy with this girl he knows that this she has a boyfriend he's trying
to scam on this guy's girl dude yeah don't be doing that and also don't think you're better
than a guy who likes to get exercise playing frisbee golf with his boys smoking
a joint and having a fucking good time in the sun dude probably wearing a tank top and posting up
in a beanie yeah and i and i'm happy that he's proud of the fact that he lifts weights and i
love that too go fucking lift some weights and get jacked but it doesn't make you better than anyone
and no dude you don't you're not gonna horizontal dance with this girl
i mean you just gotta go and and maybe you have a crush or you do have good rhythm or you feel like
you're right for her but you if you really want to date her i don't know man if you you may i don't
know if you make a move i don't think you make a little bit trying to snag someone else's girl
dude i think it's bad bad juju yeah and i i think i think the thing too about self-awareness is if
you're being self-aware about being a douche but you're still being a douche it doesn't like count for anything
oh it counts double yeah it counts double bad and i've had friends who were and i think me too who
were like doing douchey things they were like yeah because you know i'm that guy but they are or we
are being that guy yeah and you're like they almost think they're like being a character but
you're like but your behavior is that thing so it's not a character like you're that thing yeah and so
yeah i don't know it's like you seem like a cool guy but if you're doing uncool things it's not
gonna people are gonna judge you on the behavior and i and also i think you know you might be like
a good-looking dude you can like hook up with girls who have boyfriends and stuff and and that
is exciting and and but just
because you can do something doesn't mean you should yeah you know like i think you'll you're
it'll make you more distrusting of people you'll worry your girlfriends are going to cheat on you
and shit and then it just sets bad patterns in so i don't know i would how are you ever going to
trust her yeah she cheats on him with you yeah exactly and then that's what there was a good
quote about lying where it's like the problem with lying isn't that you is that people don't believe you it's you
stop believing other people and yeah i think and then you just don't want to be a bad guy just to
just yeah totally agree and who's to say schlubby guys don't deserve hot chicks i mean my whole
marriage is based on this let's get out you You're very hot. I see you patrolling He pitched very well
yesterday at softball, dude.
And you're made in the 80s.
Thank you.
That's right.
Very humble.
You know,
this guy could take
a lesson from Aaron's
tone right there.
Yeah.
Yeah,
and put yourself
in this guy's shoes.
He might have a fat hog.
Yeah.
You don't know.
True.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
She's fucking doing her right
where it matters.
They're happy.
Exactly, dude.
She's making eyes with you sometimes. Who gives a shit?
Put yourself in this guy's shoes, too.
If you were dating someone, would you want some guy doing squats to just scam on your chick?
Yeah, dude, exactly.
She's probably just a nice lady. She's probably just nice talking to him.
Yeah, he's probably projecting the eyes.
Totally.
Especially if it's a gym conversation.
I really doubt there's... Yeah.
Listen, listen, dude.
I don't know.
My wife is just really friendly, okay?
You leave her the fuck alone.
Nice.
Tell him, Aaron.
Yeah.
All right, what up, council?
I've been re-listening from episode one,
and the strides you both have made over the past years
have been amazing.
Oh, thanks, man.
Greetings, JT, Chad, and any other Stoke-inducing guests.
I am fat.
I am about 5'10 and weigh 245.
Every time I try to start a diet, it lasts for a few weeks or a month, and then I fall
off and gain back all the weight.
What tips do you all have for eating healthy and wanting to work out and get to the gym?
Yours truly, Hugh Jackman.
Oh.
Hugh Jackman?
Oh, Hugh. Hugh Jackman. It was a joke. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I thought it was Hugh Jackman. Oh, Hugh.
It was a joke.
Because at first I was like,
why would someone write this email and then put their name on it?
I was like, well, because they're not ashamed.
And then I was like, oh, no, he was tricking me with Hugh Jackman.
But he spelt it H-U-G-H-J-A-S-S.
Yeah, that's funny.
This guy's great, dude.
He's trying to get after it.
I mean, fuck, man, it's a hard This guy's great, dude. He's trying to get after it. I mean, fuck, man.
It's a hard thing to do.
I don't know.
Yeah.
What was the question?
He just wants to get...
He wants to drop some pounds
and he doesn't know how to do it.
Yeah.
I mean, quite honestly,
I'd love to be 240.
Yeah, so you're doing good.
Yeah.
You're doing fine.
I would...
Sometimes it just depends
on how your proportions are, you know?
Totally. I think I wear my weight well but you know if you're top heavy or something yeah fucking sex
part that thing up yeah i don't know when you just when you just said 5 10 240 i was like
oh i killed to be there right now yeah yeah exactly he's not doing bad there's there's
always room for improvement probably no matter what unless you're like laird hamilton or something like that bro freaking
tyler durden but if you're just looking at those stats 5 10 240 that's like a linebacker
dude exactly bro that's fucking sick zach thomas yeah or a london london fletcher and dude it's
all perspective be stoked because you can recruit that right now, that fat
into muscle and rock. I mean, it's, that's what it's, it's there for on your body. And then,
you know, obviously it's part of what you eat, what you're fueling with. And believe me, I love
the sweets. I love my brewskis. I'd say get rid of those first if you can. And then, um, what I
really love and was maybe even going to be my legends of the week
is the kb boys is a thread of dudes like-minded friends i think a workout at least one workout
partner and that accountability is really going to help dude i mean that's why crossfit's so
appealing to people is because it's got like a deep community like those people get tight dude
yes they all end up freaking partying together and then they bone a lot a hundred percent and
you know what, dude?
Classes, man.
CrossFit, maybe it's not for you, or HIIT, or whatever it is.
Dude, the HIIT classes, my dank fiance and I watch those.
It's like a fit girl doing it.
They're fucking all stronger than me.
Their cardio is all more insane.
And a class will make me push myself harder than I ever will in the gym alone.
So if you don't have a buddy to lift with, or you're living at home, or COVID, or whatever,
hop on YouTube and watch some fucking videos, yeah let me get a little reckless too i i
was talking about this the other day uh on stage and some people got upset thanks brother
yeah you got it you're a legend dude thank you um chad just adjusted my mic for me I was saying like
when I'm trying to lose weight
and it's not sustainable but sometimes if you get your weight down
it's easier to keep it off
you can actually reintroduce more calories
because you're kind of at a new baseline
and I was like
you gotta kind of get okay with being hungry
sometimes
but some people were like that's not healthy
just have a balanced diet
I was like
I don't even know if our definition of a balanced diet is that like i do think we
probably like i have no clue what i'm talking about i'm just talking about when i need to lose
weight i i have to be hungry sometimes and just like be okay with that yeah but then i don't feel
worse the next day like i think i do take in more than i need most times totally totally and well
that's what david sinclair was saying in terms of
longevity and living longer it's like you know you need to introduce those stresses to your body
of like being hungry you know like like i don't eat breakfast ever um and it's it and you you
adjust to that and it's you know like the whole you know you need to be full all the time i think is a i don't i don't
think that's correct uh i think i think our bodies were designed to to be hungry and then you feed
you know it's not like you're always sort of taking in food that you're always satiated yeah
we just think it's natural because that's what we live in when they raise us on that food pyramid
like five meals a day thing and like get this many
servings yeah but i don't know looking back i don't know if that was like right but also like
i mean you don't have to do that but you know find whatever works for you just try everything
yeah like some people i like you know we work out we all work out totally different than each other
we all have different things we like to do yeah yeah find your workout get getting huge you know
i like to do hit workouts
you know i think that's the best for for shedding the pounds and which is like high intensity
interval training and um i think one thing that a lot of people neglect is quality of food
which is tough you know if you're on a budget but it i think the biggest difference you can make to
your diet is quality of food if you're looking for you know it i think the biggest difference you can make to your diet is quality
of food if you're looking for you know trying to keep it organic and high quality because i think
a lot of a lot of what's affecting uh us is is the chemicals in food it's like the pesticides
herbicides all that stuff sugars sugars yeah so if you're if you're living like a, you know, I try to go like meat, vegetables, you know, and meat, vegetables, and like fruit.
And, you know, if I'm like craving sweets at night, you know, I'll treat myself to ice cream.
But, you know, eat a grapefruit.
That's good for you.
It takes away your appetite a little bit.
And it's like, you know, then I just try to eat, you know, like steak and avocado and just like have it be quality.
So I think that makes a huge difference.
And probiotics, I think are huge.
You know, I eat a lot of kimchi and stuff like that.
Yeah.
I might be more like obsessed with this stuff than others.
I don't even know if other people notice the variance, but like in my, how i'm looking but as much as i do but like i do feel
better when i'm like when i feel like i'm like uh in better shape like when i see myself naked
if i'm like oh yeah it looks good yeah i'm like it kind of i think it makes me like better the
stuff i care about like i think i'm like funnier sometimes yeah so i'm like yeah i feel sexy yeah
i guess you thought that was your baby the week, you saying you're sexy.
Yeah, I feel sexy, dude.
Looking at my.
It's tough to say, but it's important, right?
It's very important.
And like what you need to, like if I go to like, I mentioned I crushed In-N-Out and it's
dank, but you do feel a little guilt after, you know, or I'm like, oh man, I wish I had
a healthy meal or something, but.
And you gotta have those, I had two donuts and a milkshake the other night.
I felt so good afterwards.
Dude, and every once in a while.
Yeah, exactly. You just don't want to do it all the time.
But it does feel like an addiction to me, it's like, alright, I'm not gonna drink tonight,
and I'm not gonna watch porn, I'm like, alright, tonight's like a milkshake night.
Right.
And then the next night's like the porn night, and the next night's like the drinking night.
Yeah.
And I just rotate through the way to satiate my need to like feel different or to feel
better and then I'm like but I'll just jump around so I don't get too too much
of the consequences of each individual thing yeah yeah because if you do if you
do one thing every night in a row then you got a problem but if you jump around
it's like maybe I'm okay maybe I'm getting away with this Chad what should
be for the week I think the weakest is this dude, Alex, from high school.
So at boarding school, hilarious prank is when someone's sleeping.
You go in, you put the vacuum in the room, you plug it in,
turns on the loudest sound ever and just wakes them up.
Great prank.
And I did it to him one time.
And, you know, we all did it to each other.
Whenever it was done to me, I would die laughing.
I'm like, you guys got me good you know i may have you know i was i was deep in a sleep and you guys fucking you turned
on that dirt devil and you you know you scared the shit out of me dudes fucking thank you so much
guys um but uh i did to this dude alex he jumps out of bed, super pissed off.
And he chased me around campus with an umbrella with a pointy end.
He was trying to stab me.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Luckily, I... What?
Who is he, the penguin?
Apparently, dude.
Jesus.
Yeah.
And he chased me around for like a half hour trying to stab me with an umbrella.
And, you know, I watched Roadhouse this morning.
I'm like, I should have just, you know,
I should have just judoed it,
taken the umbrella and, you know,
kicked his kneecap out and called it a day.
But I just, I wasn't aware of Patrick Swayze at that time.
So, you know, I just didn't have the skills
to dominate him the way I should have, you know.
Was it your first time seeing Roadhouse?
This morning, yeah.
Did you like it?
Oh, yeah. It you like it? Oh,
yeah.
It's all the time.
It's good,
right?
Dalton.
Dude,
Dalton's here.
Dalton's the best.
What was your favorite
line from the whole movie?
Because it has a lot
of quotable lines.
I like the one
where he's like,
Dalton,
see you're in my
trophy room.
Only thing that's
missing
is your ass.
Is that what Ben
Gazzara,
the bad guy,
says to him?
Yeah.
He's a good bad guy.
Yeah. He's so good. So that's my beef alex like relax dude it's a simple prank i woke your ass up and you know
but we got some good cardio in so would you like to go party at that bar the double deuce
yeah i think i mean if that guy was playing the music, his buddy who's blind, if he was on the keys.
He's really cool.
If he was on the guitar, he's super cool.
That blonde haired guy? And he's playing the guitar sitting down, right?
Yeah.
He kind of plays it like it's a piano.
Yeah. You know what I'd do? I'd go and I'd mess with Dalton a little bit. I'd sort of like, you know, pretend to throw a punch. Maybe we'd mess with each other, pretend to throw punches, then look at him. And if he gave that that smirk i think i'd be hard for the rest of the night that's what john jones and uh anthony johnson
did to dana white they fake fought at the stare down yeah and then he broke it up and then they
laughed that's awesome dude someone on the reddit said i always reference everything back to mma and
i was like that's not true yeah but you just did just did it dude fuck drilled aaron yes sir uh beef of the week my beef of the week is with the movie aloha
good beef i just watched it on a podcast uh it's so bad i mean aside from you no it's 2015. oh it's 2015 oh it's bradley cooper and uh rachel mcadams and emma stone and bill murray's in it
it's cameron crowe movie should be good it should be but it's it's fucking just terrible
cameron crowe's on a he's on a cold streak that's apparently there's like deleted scenes
apparently there's deleted scenes that like make things a lot clearer but it's like it's already an hour and 44 minute movie it's crazy only good thing about that entire
thing was in the trailer they put cold war kids first as the song and it worked really nicely
there's some odd music choices in the movie though like there's a intense kind of almost
like armageddon type scene in the
in a control room with a rocket going off he plays like and it's a soft really
soft song it's his I mean he's cool he got so much credit for music in his
movies I think he overstuffs it now like yeah he's oh yeah music credits in the
movie are like eight minutes long it's insane I think Elizabethtown and almost
famous have two soundtracks.
They have so many good songs in it.
Great soundtracks.
Yeah, I love the guy.
And I still root for him.
He's from San Diego, just like me.
But man, get it together.
And he was 15 years old writing for Rolling Stone.
Yep.
That's pretty cool.
And 20 when he went back to high school
to do Ridgemont High.
He lived a cool life.
Yeah.
But yeah, his has movies blown out
yeah it's real bad don't don't do it it's funny too you know his movies always had like iconic
lines in them like uh jerry mcguire has like you had me at hello or show me the money and then
almost famous has like like i'm a golden god i am a golden god or if you always have fun then you
never get hurt stuff like or philip sumer hoffman's lines but then he would try in his other movies like that like and we bought a zoo which is
freaking so boring uh the big line is if you have 60 seconds of courage like life will really
surprise you or something like that and it just no one cared yeah he's just trying he's trying
he's not letting it flow he's not he's out of flow he needs
to get back in touch with his muse yep yeah what do you need to do cameron you need to come on the
pod altered state of consciousness we just talk about the movies i like he needs to hop in my ice
bath dude i might need to hop in your ice bath with my feet dude it's awesome i'd love to put
my feet it's awesome it is you feel so good afterwards that's right but dude that moment getting in sucks is the that first
minute is brutal brutal yeah i've only been i've never been in a full ice bath i've been in a waist
down ice bath many times yeah can i tell you something what i think your dinkle grew oh or at least send a photo to your dad of you in the ice bath
i'll send him one after an ice bath yeah you were hard last time you were in the ice bath
you maintained a boner in the ice he got a bunker in the ice bath that's amazing that's something
you can learn i would love to learn that skill dude the way your skin feels after you get out
is fucking great well it's like the blood
rushing back in and you're just like kind of tingly and if i'm ever like stressed or something
you just hop in there and you just get out and you're like if i haven't done it in a long time
or even been like chest up in an ice bath how many minutes should i do like one three no get
the fuck out i think i think i think you could do two for sure I did three on my first try
yeah but you go intense with stuff
you go all in
you get right after it dude
I was talking to this fucking guy
he goes
how many days in a row have you been working out
nine I'm like you gotta take a break
I weight lifted nine days in a row doing crossfit workouts
my back is so jacked up
I had just two baseball knots in the middle of
my back that's awesome well dude also i i uh i set up a date with someone and it was a gym date
i've never done that before it's actually kind of awkward she was great but like just and i she was
really cool but like working out at gym is just kind of awkward as a first date yeah but i had
worked out but like i'd done squats like three days in a row i'm like what do you want to do
and she's like legs and i didn't want to say no so we're just doing in a row. I'm like, what do you want to do? And she's like, legs. And I didn't want to say no.
So we're just doing deadlifts.
And I'm like, oh, fuck, dude.
And the next day, my back was just totally locked up.
That's it.
Yeah, lifting, you could really show them what you're made of, though.
She lifted more than me.
Oh, wow.
All one lift.
We did these ones.
What are these called again?
Oh. Like, it's good for your butt
because I'm trying to get
my ass bigger
hip thrust
oh yeah we did hip thrust
and she was like
let's do 185
and I did my first set
and I was like
that ain't working
yeah
you see people doing those
in the gym
I'm like I've never done that
people go heavy on those
yeah
that's like a new thing
is to go really heavy
on your hip thrust
where I liked it
but my back's all jacked up
you need to put like
a little soft pad on your area though right because the barbell's over it no it's not too bad really
this fucking guy
i'm soft dude my foot hurts right now you're not soft so i want to put my foot in an ice bath
but dude but actually wait what's your beef because my you you are part of my beef of the
week my beef of the week is uh when i'm getting my car and all my shit's hot in it, dude.
Like my water got hot and my fucking shades are hot, dude.
I don't like that, dude.
So it's just temperature.
It's nothing I can control.
You know, I'm a gentleman.
My dead guy's fiance gets the parking spot, so I'll park on the street.
And I got a black car, but I'm like, dude, it's fucking hot dude it's tough i don't like
being hot when you get in and you're just like oh oh it's brute like like the leather
yeah what's worse though if it's super cold or super hot i'll take cold i'll take cold it's
cold well i don't you mean like winter cold you mean like like if you're like snowboarding or
something oh no no i can't do it.
I might go hot.
I don't want anything fucking extreme, dude.
Right.
I want to go extreme on stuff that I do, but I want my weather mild.
If you're shredding.
Yes, exactly.
You know?
Yeah, sorry.
No, go ahead.
Go ahead.
No, no. I'll save it for Legends.
My beef of the week is the uh
contraband contract in um call of duty you're in the war zone and you finish a recon or something
and then this contraband and you're planning on doing three more recons and in port and then you
know one of your teammates just i don't know he's trying to grab a satchel or something accidentally
grabs a contraband and it just totally fucks up the rest of your game i mean the best thing to do
is ignore it but i i guess we wanted to get some more contracts,
so we went to take care of it.
It's like a five-minute process.
It's so long.
We end up getting shot, our chopper gets fucked,
and it just totally thwarts the rest of our war zone plan.
So, yeah, that's my beef of the week is contraband.
I grabbed the contraband, dude.
Dude, I hate that. I'm not naming names.
I'm just saying it happened last night.
I got to conclude.
You were very nice about it when you handled it.
Now I'm making a known.
I grabbed the contraband.
And I was like, dude, my bad.
I was going for a satchel.
I suck, man.
I really suck.
He's like, it's all right.
It's not ideal, but let's go try to get it.
Dude, I hate the supply choppers.
Oh, I hate them.
They're loud, bro.
Yeah.
Who the fuck goes after those?
So unnecessary.
I forget like 13 rolls.
They add a lot of stuff to the game.
They do such a good job.
You know what I mean?
Like Warzone's the best, but they add things sometimes.
Like yesterday we were trying to play Rebirth and they took away duos in Rebirth just to
like.
Why do they do that i don't know and then now that the thing that
freaked me out is in the the newest update there's like uh planes flying overhead or yeah or rockets
they do like a satellite overhead get a load out and it's like i love the that they go for this
kind of like heightened realism or whatever but sometimes i'm like dude it's too much like i don't
need to i don't need to feel totally like i'm you know hearing chaos all the time and stuff
exactly yeah but you know great job by you guys and get rid of the glare too i guess it makes it
better if people are camping in buildings but you can't see shit my eyes are already stinging from
playing for seven hours straight don't give me glare. It's a crazy detail to come up with.
I'd love to know who was the creative programmer who was like, let's add glare.
Be insane.
I bet you they consult fucking ex-military people about that shit.
Totally.
I'd love to be in the writer's room for it.
It is pretty interesting how they come up with all those details.
This American Life did a great one about food condiments.
I think I brought that up on Tiger Belly.
But it was really interesting um chad who's your uh babe of the week uh my babe of the week is jonathan taylor
thomas nice um i mean obviously gotta give him props for home improvement of course simba on the lion king crushed it um what else was he in
seeing like jingle all the way was that him no oh i'm i'll be home for christmas
something like that but he's just a legend house man the house yeah he's just a legend back in the
day i gotta give him props but then there emerged like a photo like a paparazzi photo of him like
the first one and in a while they're like jonathan taylor
thomas like emerges you know it's like he's showing himself publicly for first time in a
long while and he's just cruising with a jewel in hand low-key walking his dog looking cool
staying cool and i just i just gotta give him props for just being he seems like he's maintained
like a level-headed, cool existence.
And he's just cruising through life, just being Jonathan Taylor Thomas,
the voice of Simba.
And I just saw that photo, and I could feel his chillness.
And I was like, this dude's the man.
I've got to give him props.
So Jonathan Taylor Thomas, if you're listening, I'd love to hang out
and bring Rafiki.
Did he sing as Simba too?
No.
They get like a pro singer to do that.
Yeah, a pro singer.
It's Donny Osmond in a Goofy movie.
Really?
Mm-hmm.
He's singing all those songs.
After today.
Donny can sing.
Aaron, who's your baby of the week?
My baby of the week is Vertries.
Nice.
Hell yeah.
I think I've had him as a baby legend before, but dude.
Yeah, he's a beast on the field.
He's a boxer, so it's like, you know,
if something goes down, he's got the skills.
He bought pizza and nachos for the table last night.
That was really awesome. He's from San Diego, for the table last night. That was really awesome.
He's from San Diego, so we bonded on that.
It was really nice.
It was really cool to get to know him.
He's such a great guy.
Yeah.
Explosive, too.
He can move out there.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he can run.
I mean, you guys didn't even get to see him make diving catches the way he's been doing all season.
That's awesome.
He trained me in boxing.
He was such a good hang.
Yeah.
And very generous with his time.
Yeah. And then also had a great soundtrack to work out too nice it's huge everyone i believe for all didn't have
a good soundtrack you had to talk to them about it it was like after like five sessions i was like
hey uh mike can i talk to you bro i didn't want to do it in front of all the other guys I was like can we go outside say hey bro can tell you some playlists
it's not in and then he looked at me with some hurt in his eyes and I went
I'm sorry man I just I care and it was huge and then we both started crying and
all of our times got better on our workouts once he changed it and it was a
good playlist but not five times in a row once you throw on the bench sevenfold yeah i think the singer from that and then good charlotte the river that's a mainstay
it's about moving to la how it can chew you up and spit you out dude
this big sprawling beast of a city is there a soul
who's your baby of the week baby we's gotta be my freaking dank ass fiance dude
um we crushed it we got our new couch dude performance fabric for sunny and when we got it
um she was a little bit worried about the color scheme it looked a little too gray we wanted to
go with light blue and i was worried and she could tell i was worried, and she goes, yo, just hold up.
Let's wait for them to get the whole couch in here.
You know, West Elm was delivering it,
and once they put the whole couch together,
those blues really popped,
and we did not have a gray-on-gray disaster on our hands.
That's so sick.
So it was really fucking tight,
and so basically just her reassuring me to have faith, trust.
So she's just really totally being a beast
that's so sick so the couch is for the dog it has performance fabric but aaron to be quite honest
oh yeah that dog thinks it's his bed he maintains that space dude he he's the king of that thing
yeah sunny good guy he is he likes you dude you. It took a moment, but we got there.
Thanks for saying that.
I really like him.
I really like him, too.
My Baby of the Week is Leslie Odom Jr.'s performance
as Aaron Burr in Hamilton.
I saw it at the Pantages,
but I didn't see it with the original cast.
There was a 6'5 guy sitting in front of me
for the first couple acts,
and I was in the worst mood.
Then finally, my GF sacrificed and was like,
switch seats with me, because I can't hang out with you the rest
of the day if you're gonna be this pissed um but you know the aaron burr character is also pissed
and a little petty but he plays it bone deep dude if you watch you can watch it on disney plus
like his performance as leslie odom or his performance as aaron burr is unbelievable he
imbues like each line with like
this sadness and this kind of like annoying quality but it's so deep you kind of like
just relate to it and I know he just destroys it and Lin-Manuel Miranda is like kind of bad
as Hamilton really he's kind of bad he's so talented I think you have to be like hey it's
your thing you're a genius you came up with this whole thing but he's kind of like a real dork and he he doesn't he's kind of too broad in his choices too and like
the guy i saw i think was better he he felt like that the line in my shot he was like young scrappy
and hungry and he he like he kind of breathed that into the whole thing but uh but dude leslie
odom jr is just phenomenal my favorite song is wait for it too and the way he performs is just
amazing but i recommend anybody watch that and just pay attention to him.
He's so good.
Oh, maybe I'll watch that tonight.
Dude, it's pretty good.
I've been listening to it nonstop lately.
It gets me fired up.
Chad, who's your legend of the week?
My legend of the week is Quentin Tarantino.
I think I may have legend of the week before.
But I listened to him on the Joe Rogan podcast.
We didn't talk about it.
I listened to him too.
It was good.
And I got so fired up when he talked about casting John Travolta in Pulp Fiction.
Because the whole story, you know, people were very against it.
At the time, John Travolta was like, he's a made-for-TV movie guy.
Like, it was over for him.
He had come off the look who's talking movies.
Yeah.
The first two were good.
And I just love that in a lot of his stories,
Quentin's very strong in his conviction.
He's like, no, I'm doing this or I'm walking.
He'll tell Hollywood, he's like, no, this is how it's going to go.
And he did that with John Travolta,
and it turned out to be an amazing choice.
And it just fired me up that he's,
he's like,
he's like the kind of guy that'll,
that'll sort of stand up for someone when,
when they're not hot or whatever.
And,
and,
and he just holds true to his vision.
And,
and he like,
he's,
he's rebirthed so many careers with his casting.
And it's just like,
I don't know,
hearing that just really inspired me
and i was like i was like yeah man without without that we wouldn't have had face off
you know get shorty get shorty uh phenomenon that's not even good but i'm just listing
johnson walton movies broken arrow broken arrow swordfish i'm not solid swordfish dude swordfish
uh so yeah i just want you know i just thought that was really cool to
hear him talk about that and getting getting jay travolta back in the scene i liked what he said
too about the bruce lee thing oh yeah he's like look if you're bruce lee's like daughter yeah i
understand why you're upset but if you're just someone who didn't know him suck a dick yeah
suck a dick they can go pound sand? I don't give a fuck.
It is true.
He's talking about Bruce Lee's wife.
All I'm saying is she's a fucking liar.
She's a fucking liar.
Yeah, he's real as fuck.
Have you seen his face when he gets questioned at, I think it's maybe con.
About the Margot Robbie thing?
Margot Robbie.
She has no lines.
His face is hilarious. He goes, I reject your hypothesis or I reject your proposition.
I reject your proposition.
He's pissed.
Yeah.
Amazing.
Dude,
we were,
I went,
me and some of the buddies used to drive out to Sundance to go see movies.
And we just like,
uh,
stay at like a cheap hotel and then like,
just wait in line for the movies.
It was super fun.
It was,
I would recommend it to people.
I don't know if it's still the same there.
It's always changing,
but it was like a, it's like a fun version of Spring Break or something
because you feel like you're taking in art.
But he was so nice.
He was at a movie we went to, and he was so nice to everyone in there.
People were being so annoying to him, being like,
Quentin, I have a script.
Check it out.
He'd be like, oh, yeah, that's interesting.
Keep working on it.
He was really nice.
And then I was like, dude, that guy's the man.
He's such a nice guy.
And later, that same Sundance Film Festival, I go on like a news website and he punched a cameraman for
bothering him but like in the limited time i saw him nicest guy in the world yeah yeah could not
have been chiller yeah he seems like he's a really cool nice guy but he had you know if you he's got
a switch yeah if you cross him or something he'll he'll turn on you he'll get fired up yeah but i
mean maybe that cameraman was he was so nice to everybody and people were being annoying i was
like i don't know he seems like but maybe that's good like a paparazzi cameraman i think so yeah
the most annoying yeah they get in your space and stuff yeah i don't blame him um aaron who's
your legend of the week my legend of the week is pizza yeah i mean yeah it could be every week it could be every week for sure
it's like the tom cruise of food um it's just so good and when you have a good one you know it and
i had one last night it was amazing that's it looked good it was good i peeled the mushrooms
off don't need those i'm not a mushroom guy what don't eat them you can have them mushrooms just
don't have taste to me me and terrence
mckenna will crush them i don't like the texture that's what i'm saying it does nothing for me i
love it's foamy yeah i love them you love yeah that's what's up yeah dude my fiance i think i
love him too strider who's your legend my legend of the week is clint eastwood dude
i think clint eastwood i watched pale rider and i was like so funny i was just like looking for a Clint Eastwood, dude. Nice. I loved Clint Eastwood. I watched Pale Rider.
And it was so funny.
I was just looking for a movie to watch,
and nothing was really popping for me.
I was like, I don't want to watch anything.
And then I see Pale Rider, and I'm like,
this movie looks great.
And it was that thing where I got 15 minutes in,
and I was like, yep, I've seen this movie.
But I was at that point where I was really buying in,
and I'm like, let's go. go and dude his character just has no flaws he paid he i think he plays like the first william wallacey dude even more yeah dude like there's like a legend about him and like there's also
funny like a 15 year old like women just love him in the movie there has to be deleted scenes
because there's like no scenes where you see him giving them like anything other than the fact that
he's like a hot gun slinging preacher dude and they, like, anything other than the fact that he's, like, a hot, gunslinging preacher dude.
And they love him.
And, like, it does make sense.
He's the man.
But it's just so comical.
And, like, just how cool he is.
Like, unapologetically fucking cool.
It's hilarious, dude.
That's awesome.
And good movie, dude.
Rides into town.
Saves the fucking, you know, all these gold miners working a claim trying to get taken over from, you know big the big dog so it's nice we need more characters like that i like that i like what
you know like dalton and you know uh dude yeah roadhouse it's like it's like it's it's nice just
to watch people who are kind of just perfect yes and it's inspiring you're like you know you watch
patrick suez doing yeah make patrick suez doing tai chi in the morning and you're like yeah yeah
dude that's what i need to do you know it's like I love Tony Soprano and stuff you know but it's like
sometimes you just gotta watch you know Paul Walker Fast and the Furious you just gotta watch like
awesome people sometimes it's inspiring and I think it's on a continuum too where it's like
like when the I remember like Time Magazine had an article in like 2007 like the rise of the beta male
and it was just about how like the Judd Apatow movies
found like this new version of a hero
that was like kind of like a flawed guy
who wasn't like the typical assertive type
that you see in movies
and they even said like Jason Bourne
was like the thinking man's action hero
you know he's like a little more vulnerable
and I think that was important
because we had had like this like
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone like paradigm
but then it goes too far that way and it's too much like
jim from the office or like you know seth rogan and something yeah and then it needs to go back
the other way and we need to have like just like here uh like kind of simple heroes yeah you know
what i mean like just dudes who are just awesome and badass yeah like the fucking keanu and um
what's this the john wick yeah john wick
dude so sick great guy number one so awesome yeah don't need it to be go beyond three though
yeah just quiet they have a code they're gonna they're gonna get down yeah and that's what
tony soprano always says on the spring what happened to the gary cooper type
the stoic strong strong, silent type.
Yeah.
Wait, what?
Oh, dude, you know what else I like about Clint Eastwood?
Is that he was mayor of Carmel-by-the-Sea.
Oh, yeah.
Like, he just became a mayor for a while.
Oh, Carmel?
Mm-hmm.
It was just a beautiful town.
And he just became mayor up there for a while.
That's awesome.
I mean, he's Republican. Right right yeah which is oh yeah dude how does that even how does that even
play itself out in local politics though like if you're a city i think yeah i think it was just
popularity more than anything right but i think like uh i think like and that's more modest too
you know now you have like you got guys like r got guys like Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump who are like celebrities
and they're like,
I'm going to be president.
But I think that's like a little too outsized,
you know?
Yeah.
But like,
if you're an actor and you're like,
I'm going to be mayor,
I'm just going to leverage this into being mayor.
I'm like,
yeah,
that's like appropriate.
Yeah.
Sonny Bono was a mayor of Palm Springs.
It's like,
okay.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Yeah.
Republican guy.
I think every mayor should be a movie star.
If you're in a town you don't have
a movie star as a mayor it's not that cool of a town yeah agreed uh my legend of the week is uh
molly it's uh my friend dustin and adriana's dog um she passed away and she was sick for a while
but she was just a total legend every time we go over there and see her she had great energy she
was super bouncy a lot of fun to be around and just a lot of personality and it's it's too bad um so yeah i'm sorry for
your guys's loss but uh you're a legend forever molly um all right chad who's what's your quote
of the week uh my quote of the week comes from uh danzig the rock star wait what was this you
sent this text to all of us what was this i sent to like 30 people
what was that text well i'm gonna read it okay um so glenn doyle danzig put up a tweet
and this is my quote of the week all caps i was hacked anything that was posted in the last month was not me i don't smoke weed i don't eat
hot dogs and i definitely fuck damn it let me do that again i was hacked anything that was posted
in the last month was not me i don't smoke i don't eat hot dogs and i definitely don't eat my own cum
when i find the piece of shit that did this and I will they will pay the ultimate price
so in case you guys are wondering
Danzik doesn't use Ocom
I was concerned until I got that text
I know I sent it to a bunch of people I'm like dude
FYI
Danzik doesn't use Ocom
who had the best response
I think my brother with Pilsen Yeah. Yeah. Danzig doesn't need to come. Who had the best response?
I think my brother with Bill C.
He goes, he's five, six and very sensitive about his height also.
He's a sore cut.
Well, there's a video of Danzig.
He's jacked and he's he's talking shit to this big huge like rockabilly looking dude and he's talking shit to him the big old other rock star
they were fighting over some kind of like stage shit like you know someone fucked up the show
yeah fat dude just knocks danzig out just hits him with a straight right and puts him out it's
really funny.
That's hilarious.
Aaron, what's your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is from a character
named Jimmy in Roadhouse.
Let's go.
Nice.
Says,
I used to fuck guys like you in prison.
Yeah.
So that's what,
I think Chad's so interesting
that his favorite quote
is like that Ben Gazzara one.
You know what I mean?
And not many people would pull that as their favorite because everyone does that you know that's like
the yeah yeah yeah did that what did that quote do to you i mean i definitely appreciated it but i
think i recognize it as the most popular right i think that but the other one did tickle my fancy
more it's just next only thing left is your ass it's just hilarious but yeah when i first heard
i used to guys like you in prison i was like this writer's a genius yeah yeah
to put that into the guy and then he pulls his throat out dude it's amazing he pulls his
throat out his throat out it's hilarious you're so you'd be bigger. You are such an asshole.
Also, the best part is with the doctor.
She's stitching him up.
Who won the fight?
No one wins a fight.
Well, yeah.
Great line.
Chuck Klosterman wrote about it.
He was saying why it's great.
And his opening sentence in the essay was like,
he's a bouncer who's a philosophy major from NYU.
Yeah.
He's like, it is a nice combination of traits i love when he
the sex scene is amazing i forget it but it's very sensual right a lot of cutting and stuff
it's very sensual yeah it's just because they like start off so slow and he's such a gentleman
you know he like kisses her once good night and you expect them to take it slow and then
like next thing you know he's like just ripping her pants out just stand up sex strider style get you a guy who can do both yeah i was watching it and i was
like strider could play this scene very well thank you that's my praise thank you apparently when
according to the trivia on imdb whenever bill murray sees that sex scene
he calls mitch glazer who is kelly lyn's husband, to tease him about it.
That's funny.
Which is probably a lot, because that movie's on a lot.
Oh, yeah.
It's a good one.
Strider, what's your quote of the week?
Quote of the week is from a little movie called Pale Rider.
Preacher.
That's played by Clint Eastwood and this guy, Holt Barrett.
He's a good character actor.
I don't know who it is, though.
Why don't you put me to work?
This is after a preacher beats up some guys in town,
saves Holt's hide.
Oh, no, I couldn't ask you to.
Well, I mean, you know,
maybe if there was something spiritual.
Well, that spirit ain't worth spit with that little exercise.
Now you tell me where.
Badass, dude.
That's badass. Badass, dude. That's badass.
Badass, dude.
The guy fucking loves lifting and beating dudes' asses.
What year was that movie made?
It's got to be 80s.
Maybe early. 70s.
He looks pretty young in it.
He's a good looking guy.
Dude, for my money, he's right up there with Paul Newman.
Robert Redford.
Brad Pitt.
In the pantheon of most beautiful male actors.
And he's so bad.
What about Hemsworth?
You put him in there?
Yeah, he's very hot.
Yeah, he's very hot and jazzed.
Hemsworth and Rush.
But is he too jazzed?
Actually, no.
Hemsworth, when he leans it up, is there.
And Rush, I think, is the perfect bodybuilder.
He likes to bodybuild.
He says people would take
him more serious as an actor if he was skinny yeah that's what i mean like i don't know even
like if hendworth played the cool cowboy role like a clint eastwood or something no no if he
could pull it off no way he looked too big on the horse but he also does great in comedy maybe
where i think that's where he's better yeah he's gonna be in the new hulk hogan movie that
todd phillips is doing that'll be be great. Actually, I don't know.
The Joker.
The Joker for my money.
I think this will be better.
I think this will be better
because I think it'll be a mix.
It'll have the Joker's
like intensity maybe,
but then it'll be
a little more playful.
Yeah.
Hemsworth is great
in Cabin in the Woods too.
He's really funny.
He's really good in that.
When someone's like,
well, why don't you
like rock climb out of here?
He's like,
because I left my belay
back at the dorm.
Yeah.
It's just good writing that character that that's actually serious for him. Dude, well, why don't you like rock climb out of here? He's like, cause I left my belay back at the dorm. Yeah. It's just good writing that character that that's actually serious for him.
Dude, Mike, what are the weakest from a Knight's Tale?
Oh yeah.
You know, a very quintessential kind of hero story.
Very good movie.
Heath Ledger, good lead performance.
But the rest of the cast is really what kills it for me.
It's like Mark Addy, Rufus Sewell, Paul Bettany, Alan Tudyk.
But it's a quote from the end when
james purefoy who's the prince i think prince edward and uh servan ulrich lichtenstein uh
heath ledger's character has been found out to be a fake knight he's been posing so he can compete
in jousting competitions and he gets caught they put him in the stocks or whatever and everyone's
like pelting him because the mob turns against him because people are fickle and then prince edward comes up and he spared prince edward in an earlier joust
when he was hurt he let him uh withdraw and then he actually charged him when he knew he was the
prince so he did two counter to normal uh jousting mentality moves and so the prince is going to make
him a knight and he goes up to him and he kneels down. He goes, looks around and goes, what a pair we make.
Two men trying to hide their identities, unable to do so.
Then he looks at his crew and he goes,
your men love you.
If that was all I knew about you, that would be enough.
But you also tilt when you should withdraw.
And that is nightly too.
I watch that like 10 times a day.
It gets me so fired up. Bro, that just got me fired up right there. It gets me so jacked that like 10 times a day. It gets me so fired up.
Bro,
that just got me fired up right there.
It gets me so jacked up.
Let's fucking go.
It gets me so jacked up.
And then he lets him out of the stocks.
He makes him a night.
And then his father,
his blind father hears his blind father. They're chanting the name Thatcher,
Thatcher.
They go,
so William Thatcher.
He goes,
your father heard that.
Dude.
Yes,
dude.
Dude.
Good.
What's the,
what's the,
you know, what's the best father? You. Dude, good. What's the best father?
You're going to get this.
What's the best father line from a movie from that era around people who fight in wars?
It's in Braveheart.
Is it the father of Robert the Bruce?
No, it's when... Oh, don't want to lose heart.
It's when Brendan Gleeson's like, you're only doing this because you think she's watching.
Then he goes, I know she's watching.
And your father's watching you too. Then he socks him for bringing up his dad but then they
hug and shit it's so good because they're dudes just trying to bring out the best of each other
and shit uh chad what's your face that we forget after uh i'm hungry
that's because i'm hungry as fuck let's go what are you gonna go to air one yeah i got
mike at seven so i'm gonna rush there all right let's go dude aaron let's feel the power of love
let's listen to that song right when i pulled up got me fired up that's fucking awesome dude
strider what's your phase that we're freaking after it um there's few there's plain few
problems can't be solved with a little sweat and hard work
it's clinty's wood mine is the uh chorus from my shot it's uh i'm young scrappy and
hey yo i'm just like my country i'm young scrappy and hungry and i'm not throwing away my shot
so fuck don't throw away your shot tonight guys get after it nice
yeah he also wanted us
to have a king is that what hamilton wanted oh because he wanted george washington to stay
but he didn't want himself to be king so it's kind of you can almost kind of understand it
better it's not it doesn't feel as steeped in at that personal power was there any other presidents
no there was no but that's why it makes so it's that's what makes washington such a beast that's
why there's a total time is so a total yeah you can't really trouble Hamilton
for that he goes we'll teach the nation how to say goodbye well Washington what
a beast Washington is a beast dude the old man I know he had some shortcomings
but he was a strong dude yeah yeah of course of course 6-3 I know guys Heights
did you love height.
Prominent man.
But you're like besties with a couple of shorties.
You guys, no, it doesn't matter if you're tall or short.
I just like knowing the height.
But I do have an affinity, like James. But you always thought Ferraro was hotter than Andrew.
And I'd say, why?
I think Andrew might be hotter.
And then you'd say, because Ferraro's taller.
It's true.
But empirically, I mean, that's society that's that's that's you though bro i mean dude i mean
dude six deuce 212 lefty that's huge hot that's better than 510 185 righty but also hot no andrews are lefty too is he really i like that because it's unique it's rare i mean who knows what hand that guy is
he yeah he's he can move but he's got some awkwardness athletically oh yeah
it translates we got one speed it translates artistically in him yes
all right dj apop great guy He's only got one speed. It translates artistically in him. Yes. All right.
DJ A-POP.
Great guy.
All right, guys.
Drink Fruit Smash.
Leave a review.
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And, yeah, most importantly, I mean, Strider, thanks for coming in.
Dude, thank you, guys.
Fired up to be here. Always a pleasure.
Always, dude.
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