Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 202 - Kyle Dunnigan Joins

Episode Date: September 3, 2021

Kyle Dunnigan joins the pod. He's a beast. Big ups to Grady Spencer for the new outro song.  Sign up for new merch here: http://www.shopcgd.com​​​​​​​​​​

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Because it does say LA with that In-N-Out part. We were at In-N-Out. We're like, let's just steal their logo. And then my dad calls me. He's like, JT, did you notice your logo looks like In-N-Out? So you might want to have a lawyer look into that. I was like, no, dad, I'm dad I'm aware I know it looks like an announce SoCal's most popular podcast

SoCal's most popular that's great yeah no way to confirm that really right it's like when all those restaurants you can't get the best waffles in town yeah New York's best coffee is like everywhere the coldest beer in town yeah i uh well now that

rogan's gone there's there's a huge vacuum oh yeah he's in texas he wants to come back you know he does do you think he does i that's why i feel like everyone who went to texas now they're yeah did you hear tim dillon talk about it yeah vaguely yeah or a little bit yeah i love it he was like there's no talent here he's like there's a mass shooting and no one died you can't even do that right yeah i uh what's that gonna say did you ever did you ever did you during covid do you want to move yeah i looked at zillow every night for a while. Really? I was trying to get out of here. Where were you looking?

I looked at Austin, everywhere. Yeah. Everywhere, like Puerto Rico. Yeah, that'd be cool. Lost my mind. With Logan Paul. Is he there? Apparently.

I think he's there. That would have been cool. I mean, it is a cool place if you go with a group, but to go alone to Puerto Rico, I don't even speak Spanish. I'm so bad. How do you think you'd change? Would you wear different outfits there and stuff? He'd give you a lot of shorts.

Hats. A lot of fedora. Big hat. Big farmer hat. Cigar. Cigar. Less buttons on your shirt. More buttons.

More buttons. Or more buttons. I'd go the other way with it. I want them to know from the mainland and there was this boat on the beach that was a house i was gonna like fix it up like that would have taken me five years it would be a different life yeah it was cheap though like right on the water in puerto rico you have this houseboat yeah i think it was like three hundred thousand dollars really yeah i do that it's always nice

to have that as like a plan b yeah yeah it's there yeah but the loneliness would come crashing in i think do you get lonely i don't get too lonely but jessica's you know in the garage it's a nice rental unit it just used to be a garage right right right um but yeah no the first few months of covid i was sort of i was really like depressed and alone in my house it's like weird yeah do you need to like socialize with people or are you kind of more of an i feel like a lot of creatives are kind of more of an introvert i think i'm an introvert yeah yeah but it was too much loneliness that got to you yeah i would drive to i took a couple trips to vegas and get an hour and a half there and i go oh that's not open then i come back which is just

insane do you love it a few times i'm a huge i like it i like it a lot it's the best i don't like being there for more than like four days that can't stay longer than that you start seeing like goblins it's weird it gets to you but yeah I drove and did pull over and then walked in the woods and that would be my day I didn't have anything to do also I didn't know what to do with myself I played Call of Duty I played video games

just because I've never really been a huge video game guy but it's sort of like you're hanging out with your buddies a little bit yeah that sounds like a good idea i need to be making something to be happy i find and right my computer was broken i got another i ordered one and it came smash it took like three weeks because of covid and it came it was smashed like someone like threw it down a flight of stairs smashed and then i had like a like a breakdown that day because i was waiting for so long to like work you know and then i i drank um whiskey and then i had like a like a xanax oh this is not what i do normally you don't recommend it yeah it was i was just trying to like i didn't need like a xanax you just need a reset i did

and i woke up on my patio during the day i don't normally do that though have we started yeah oh no but you did say you say you don't normally drink too right so that was kind of like no yeah you're really getting after it you just have to understand there was so much time went by where i was waiting for this computer do you know what i mean i got you yeah the disappointment was deep yeah i bought i bought a fleetwood max shirt a couple weeks ago i waited like a week because i get really excited about my clothes so yeah and when i got it it was a little bit too small and when you when you can't determine the size from the website that's why i don't order online yeah it messed with me for at least

a day that's a real anger yeah i think there got to be some kind of business where it's people you know or something or famous people wearing the thing. To get a better gauge, there's got to be some... Right. Put it next to a hamburger or something where you could see how big the shirt is. For some scale. There was a guy that opened one time bragging about how big his penis was yeah and a lot of the guys were skeptical and this this funny guy chuck came up with a solution he's like roll up a newspaper and send

us a photo of your penis next to the newspaper oh and he came up with that right on the spot and i was like chuck i don't know if that's that good to be honest no like how how big is the that was 10 years ago i still think about it right but like if it's like the Sunday Times, it's a totally different. You know, you're thinking more about girth. I was thinking more about length. Oh, how long compared to a newspaper? It's interesting you thought about girth right away, though. I think that's, a lot of people don't do that.

That's how I think. That's smart. I guess you could see six inches on a newspaper pretty well, right? You'd have a good idea of scale, at least. Yeah. I don't know. I mean. This is the longest it's taken us to talk about penises, by the way, too. see six inches uh newspaper pretty well right you'd have a good idea of scale at least yeah i don't know i mean this is the longest it's taken us to talk about penises by the way too yeah oh really it's a good penis podcast i'm like a small guy so it's i got good um perspective for women nice i thought you're six foot though right no you're not no how tall are

you like i think i shrunk an inch. I'm like 5'8". Dude, I've been worried about that. You're not 5'8". You're taller than me. I'm 5'8". I think. I think I'm 5'8".

Let's do it. I'm pretty sure. I got no shoes on. Oh, yeah. These are at least an inch. Yeah, maybe if I had shoes on. I don't know. Yeah.

I think, Kyle, I think you're taller by at least an inch, I would say. I've been looking up online. I'm like, you start shrinking in your 30s, and I've been weightlifting a lot, and I'm worried that it's compressing my spine. But Google says that won't happen. But you get shorter because you lose fluid in your discs. So I've been looking up how to keep my fluid in my discs. What does it say?

You know, just vitamins, eating healthy. And then actually they say regular exercise is like the best thing you can do. Oh, really? All right. So, yeah, I don't want to that I don't have those inches to give I think I lost a whole inch no I measured myself and I'm 5 8 but I was 5 9 I'm sure of it right you look taller than I remember you I walk like I'm tall that's good yeah I what's the circle What's the... We're circling back to the Vegas.

What was the character you used to do on Professor Blastoff about the guy who drives with his top down to Vegas? Oh, Waganini. Yeah. Yeah, it was a wagon Lamborghini that was also... And he was just kind of like a bro. Yeah, he's going 45 miles straight to Vegas. Yeah, I forgot about that.

Did you come up with that on a trip to Vegas? No, we were talking to a guy and I just was bored and I started, he said something about a Lamborghini or something. And he had, he was that kind of guy? No, he was with some expert on something.

I just, for some reason, just started talking about the saying I had this Lamborghini. It was also a wagon and it was it was a wagonini and i just started talking about i took it to vegas 350 miles an hour straight down the 405 it was a great character oh thanks i forgot about that i used to well so i was yeah i used to publish your episodes for i used to be an intern oh really well so i know shit i'd listen to the whole episode. I'd write a description and post it.

Oh, that's cool. So I've absorbed just hundreds of hours of you, basically. I always felt like I wasn't involved in that podcast. I was there, but I felt like it was like Tig's podcast. I was just going to show up. But I thought you were... if I'm being totally kidding, when I was listening to it, I was like, it felt like it was kind of you and TIG's podcast.

Yeah. No disrespect to David. No disrespect to David Hunsberger, who I also thought was doing some good work as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we did that for four years. That was early podcasting too where yeah we we probably should have kept doing it for we were gaining followers and stuff right well what made you

guys you guys started writing on like amy schumer yeah and also tig got really busy and then was that around the time her like that yeah what'd she have uh breast cancer that's right and then she had a stomach virus she had a tough yeah and that like special came out yeah that set she had it was a little before that but she was blowing up because one of the early guys episodes was about her being at sundance because she was in a lake bells movie oh and the article said like the hottest comedian in in the country almost did a set because I guess something went wrong at the screening and they wanted her to go up. Oh, really?

It's a very small detail. Well, we just could have kept it going. But I guess I just didn't want to or something. Yeah. Yeah, how do you know when you're done with something? It felt done. You just felt it one day. You're like, it's time for the next thing.

Yeah, yeah. I never felt like I was quite a podcast person right um i really like doing sketch and stuff like that you want the comedy to be more concentrated not so uh i i didn't think i was adding that much like there's certain guys like mark Maron or Tim Dillon, like monologists, they're called. Spalding Gray types. Exactly, yeah. Didn't he kill himself? Yeah, but he was sick.

I think he had a horrible skin accident. And he couldn't move around too well, so he was fucking them out. I heard he tried to kill himself a few times, though. He was a depressed guy. Yeah. Really hurts the comedy when you know the guy is trying to kill himself. few times though like he was a depressed guy yeah really hurts the comedy when you know the guy like is trying to kill them kill himself it's a weird repeatedly it makes it

make it puts a damper on it yeah because you know he's serious yeah yeah you know he's crying underneath that that's like when you find out robin williams was sad that's like the first comedian you find out about everyone's like you know he's actually a really sad guy oh I think the end though was a disease or something yeah he had to hit a brain thing right yeah would you that what would make make you go like what do you have to lose well so I was I was I thought about it for a minute one time yeah cuz I was in pretty rough shape and so uh like how what happened I always talk about it so I don't want to bore people with repeating it but basically I was just doing a lot of Adderall

and watching a lot of webcam porn. Yeah. Sounds like a good life. It was fun. Well, that was the thing. I was having a great time until it wasn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it, so something like that.

I think if I just am not being healthy. What about a physical, what if you can't walk? Would you want to, would you still want to be here? Yeah, I should think about this comedically. I think, I think I would, I think, yeah. Well, I don't want to be, but see, I should think about this comedically. I think I would. I think, yeah.

Well, I don't want to be mean, but I hate that because when you watch the movie The Sea Inside, where Javier Bardem's a paraplegic and he's looking for the right to kill himself, you're like, oh, this is very powerful. But at the same time, you're like, what about paraplegic people who see this movie? Oh, yeah. If you're just a head, though, for sure, that's not... Yeah, the diving boat and the butterfly. I don't know why we don't let people kill themselves.

We'll be right back with this comedy podcast. Is it against the law to kill yourself? It shouldn't be. We kill dogs when they're in pain because we're being nice. Yeah. It's humane. I don't know. Were you saying that you'd have to be just a head?

That's what he was saying. I agree. If you're just a head. You'd have to. I agree. If you're just a head. You'd have to be a head. If you're just a dome. Yeah, I think if I had my arms, I could get behind it. But if you're just a head, I just feel like I'd be a burden for the people around me.

I feel like you could still do your sketches. I could do some definite, like some solid bits. Yeah. As just a head. And that would almost be. It would inform the writing, though, a lot. Right, right, right, yeah. You require a lot of facial.

This sketch also takes place on a pillow. Yeah, yeah. You do everything in green. You have green over you. Oh, yeah, I just wear a green screen pillow. Yeah, shoot from above, and then someone fills in the... Maybe I would stick around.

If I was just a just ahead you know what i would do is i would go to the haunted mansion you know that one haunted mansion in disneyland where it's like the lady's head is in like a yeah or a ball yeah i would just take that job well you would have your body you just would only be able to move your head you're saying if you're just oh oh i thought you were saying oh i thought you meant just no just like you can't move anything but your head oh but i think what you're saying is true that it just depends where your head's at right like if they put you in disneyland where you're happy you could be there forever if i was part of the attraction i think i would be pretty fired like if you were just ahead but people were visiting you all the time and showering you

with praise to be screaming at you. Like children would be screaming. I'd love it. You would. Yeah. It's the happiest place on earth. If they were feeding me churros too, as they're going through, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

No, I've had a churro there. They're really good. They're really good. Right. Yeah. Best churros in the world. I'd be pretty happy, I think. Yeah.

I think, um, was there maybe, yeah, like two years ago there. And, uh. I thought you meant suicidal for a second. No, no, no. I've never been like that. You just meant at Disneyland. I just meant at Disneyland. For sure. I would, yeah, I just luckily I don't think like that.

And I've been lucky to not be. Because someone that has an ailment or something, they're really depressed. I'm a generally really happy guy. But whenever I have something like a big performance, like stand-ment or something or they're really depressed i i'm a generally really happy guy but whenever i have something like a big performance like stand-up or something that's like sort of weighing on me in like a couple days or something i i do have those thoughts of like like i'll be at the gas station i'm like i'm like i'll be like fuck i have to like pump gas for the rest of my life like what the fuck am i doing yeah i don't know what that is my mom has

that too i think you just want to escape right wait do you get nervous before the show is everything i think it's the anxiety the anxiety makes me feel like yeah like life is a massive burden and you have to do all this you know uh miscellaneous shit yeah no i i get like there's been a lot of times where I'm just, it feels like you're going to the gallows. Yeah. Like having to do a show that's a lot of pressure on it. Yeah.

It feels as, I feel like I know how they felt, like, Mary Antoinette or whoever got their head chopped off. Right. Because, yeah, it's not a good feeling. I assume some people are like, I can't wait to go out there and just kill it or something. Right. Psychopaths.

Yeah, I think they're psychopaths. Yeah, because I... Yeah, and then friends will be like, hey, I'm coming to your show. And you're like, it's ten times worse. No, I don't want anyone ever to see me. I never. Every show is so...

Why are we like that? I think because if you fail then you have to talk there's not that much upside yeah there's very little they expect it to be something yeah that's true yeah you have had family come i'm just like no yeah and then you're just you see them sitting there and then you're like talking about your dick or something and you're like your girlfriend's parents yeah yeah yeah i had a girlfriend who's her mother was colombian and she i'm colombian is that right she said do your do your yokes we're at like a dinner you know there's a whole family there and i just started doing stand-up yeah and

i was like i don't know if that's a good idea Miss Bessama and she was a very strong woman Colombian woman passionate and I knew I had to do it oh you stepped up same thing I don't want it's weird that my job

mainly is being a stand up I guess I'm kind of getting away from that a little bit but it's not something I'm like i gotta show people this and like i want to show my friends and family what i'm doing did you start in stand-up no i came to new york and i was doing sketch and improv okay and then i was 25 ish and i was like oh there's no money in this that dawned on me and you were a finance guy right no oh i did actually work down wall street though yeah you were like doing that and then doing sketch on top of it right yeah i was doing it was temp work and then the guy offered me a full-time job it was just

uh i was inputting you know trades into a computer back in the 90s when that was like new to do and he brought me in his office and acted like i'm about to change your life kind of guy and he was like you can work here full time and i was like no thank you and he couldn't believe that i was like not didn't want to work there yeah because you know when you're poor you can turn down money because you don't even know what it is to have money yeah and i was like i'm gonna be an actor and he was like get out of here so um but then there's no money in sketch so then i was like i'll do stand which i did stand up in high school once and uh i was like there's money in that that's why i started doing stand-up but every

time i did stand-up they my whoever manager had or whatever were like don't do characters don't do music because back then it was like tim allen and stuff you got a deal by talking about yourself and your family so i thought finding like a relatable kind of character to play up there but that's not that's not you no someone did looked at me wrong the you know yeah and i wasn't someone to be like oh i know what i want to do i was like okay i had like money scarcity do you guys have that money scarcity i don't really have it anymore but like it was when it started out like how do i make money i don't think i i don't think i really had i had that thing in like high school where i'm like like me just i was kind of spoiled and i was

like money doesn't even matter like yeah i'm like dad were you rich kid uh my dad's doctor so i was like yeah but i'm the fifth of seven so it's like it was spread but but i was i think i had that just not just from the way i grew up i've just naturally kind of like yeah they'll come yeah but my dad was always like i was i was the fifth one so everyone's like everyone's like my parents were a little bit more lax on me. And I was kind of like a little prince, you know. And they're like, you'll just win the lottery someday. And I always had that in my mind.

I'm like, yeah, I'll just be rich somehow. And I didn't even work that hard in school or anything. I was just kind of like, I kind of always just assumed money would come my way. Yeah, yeah. But just because of what I was told. I think that's important would come my way. Yeah. Yeah. But just cause of what I was told, I think that's important to feel that way. Yeah. Yeah.

I've tried to get that in your subconscious and then it'll make good moves for you. Totally. Yeah. And have you, but you sort of came from a place of like, I need to know my, my father was a lawyer. I didn't,

we didn't feel like I didn't feel, but I felt like I needed to make money to have a family. I needed to make money or something like that. You know, like I have to make money yeah to have a family I needed to make money right or something like that you know like I have to make money for more than myself yeah

but I you know I didn't feel hard enough to go to school yeah you didn't go to college I went to college but I didn't go to school

to like be like a doctor or anything I just was trying to get out of there my parents wanted me to go so I just were you always kind of slipping into characters

even as a kid like growing up yeah i did uh yeah i did um do characters impressions growing up a lot yeah and i stopped doing impressions until like a couple years ago yeah because of the face swap apps and stuff yeah but when did you discover this? Probably like three years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Did you make a video like right away? I was like, I did a Trump impression. I was like, I look the opposite of Trump. And I was like, oh, I can do the Trump impression now because I can make myself look like him.

Yeah. So that's how I started. And then I was like writing for this show and I was miserable. Great job. But I just did. I wanted to be performing and I was writing again and uh it's just not what I wanted to do I'm like in an office all day so I started making videos of the writers and I and I realized I could put them in scenes by making them like a like a FaceTime or something and then they liked them then i just started making like them with like famous people on instagram nice are you gonna do one about uh yeah you guys

yeah that'd be awesome yeah i look forward to that are you doing about barack's party what's that well you know i had that martha's Vineyard party with like 600 people. Did you hear about this? No. He had like a massive swan race. Was it today? Or yesterday? It was this weekend. And so he caught a lot of flack.

And it was all like Hollywood celebrities. Oh, really? Yeah, it seemed like right. Ah. Kind of. I can't. I'm not allowed to do Barack Obama. That's what I was wondering about that too.

Yeah. I guess, yeah. Fred Armisen did it. That was a little bit on the fence, I guess he's i think he's an ecuadorian or something yeah yeah i'm not sure the rule they should have it printed out like if you're ecuadorian you can do barack obama yeah or whatever who's your guidelines who's your favorite yeah i mean i don't know i know i can't i can I can do Michael Jackson because he's so white. Right, right, right.

People don't mind that. Yeah. Have you done one where you took it down because you were like, all right, I crossed the line on that one? No, I haven't. But never say never. I could see myself doing that. But you've got a good internal kind of.

I run it by some people, you know, and I'll go, is this okay? Who was I? Oh, I was going to do OJ. some people you know and i'll go is this okay i who was i oh i was gonna do oj and i think uh we got a lot of people jessica a lot of people said don't you cannot do that he said if he he's scared to come to la because the murderers here i heard that he said that i don't know if there's parody but he said that he's like i'm scared to come to la because the murderer is there and he's gonna get me i think he's right i mean he should be scared he got his wife yeah yeah exactly his wife yeah you don't think oj did it how could he possibly done it here his knee hurt you guys don't don't believe everything he's the juice right yeah yeah good call yeah he did those uh the naked gun and he did those commercials for the car company. And he hit her, like, so long before that murder.

Yeah. Months before that murder. A lot of times. And you know how often you cut your finger deep? Like, at least once every three years. And it was that night he cut his finger deep. I did it three weeks ago. See?

Yeah. Hello, Twitter world. His Twitter starts with, Hey, Twitter world. Hello, Twitter world. His Twitter starts with. Hey, Twitter world. Hey, Twitter world. What is it? He goes. He says something else, too.

He goes. It's me or something. Hey, Twitter world. It's yours truly. That's what it is. Hey, Twitter world. It's yours truly. You know, a lot of people are talking about the mask.

Just put on the mask. What's all this talking about the mask. Just put on the mask. What's all this talking about, the mask? It's yours truly. It's yours truly. What's all this bragging talking about? It's not like a football game where you're just looking like, you murdered your wife. It was a 7-3 the whole time.

Here's the thing with Jim Ress. Yeah, and he's really judgmental of people, which is funny. He's like, what was he doing there yelling at that lady in that public guy did you chop your wife's head off almost even those are people behind you sitting hawking behind you traffic come on oh my god and he said he thinks he's a pretty good guy probably i love the car compartmentalizing people do and you know chris watts no i'm like obsessed with this guy yeah because i can't imagine how a human being because i'm a human being could be this terrible and then now he's found jesus and

it's like not his fault in his own head. And he thinks he should get out of jail. He murdered his whole family. And it's so dumb. The cover up. Aren't there enough cop shows to know how to murder someone and hide the body? Right. I feel like it's. The blueprint's available.

Yes. Watch a couple of shows. So he's like i'm gonna i like this girl she's got big boobs i'm gonna kill my wife who's pregnant with my son and my two daughters who are adorable let me just murder them because i don't want to pay for the whatever divorce i mean just get a divorce but anyway he was like i'm gonna run he worked at this oil field and he's like hey can i work really far away tomorrow in that oil field that's far away and they were like okay immediately you're suspicious that's gonna put the bodies so you don't bury and i don't suggest anyone murder the

family but don't bury them at your work that's one thing yeah also your work is digging yes shallow grave he put his wife in a shallow grave yeah anyway so he um he now feels he's innocent and uh should get out because he was the devil was in the woman that he was with right his mistress his defense like she's really she's hot she got in my head yeah it's a story as old as time i mean it is that's i mean that is true like a woman can make you do horrible things oh yeah yeah you know i am as can a man as can a man yes vengalis people just get in your dome and they convince you that yeah and she's probably just like your wife's a bitch most of it's more subtle too yeah exactly that's what it is that's like buy this car do a divorce does she not congratulate

you on your promotion at work and i'm like no she didn't but um they were in this thing called thrive i'm obsessed with this whole family it was called thrive so all their posts are like thrive you guys we hit our new mark we got level five thrive and like that's the worst commercial for thrive this guy murdered his family when they're in thrive what do you can't like that it's like one of those self-help pyramid schemes it feels like yeah it doesn't help you not murder apparently but he's um do you think you could ever have the capacity to kill someone now under what circumstance yes that's what under the right circumstance i almost murdered a coyote last apparently, but he's... Do you think you could ever have the capacity to kill someone? Now, under what circumstance? Yes. Under the right circumstance.

I almost murdered a coyote last night. Really? Like, in protection of my... I have a tiny dog that's like a potato, and she's fat and defenseless. Did you feel good that you were willing to go there? No, it's like, you don't even yourself. Like, I go offline.

And... it's happened before it is when you feel like like it i ran out and with no shoes on and i i was just gonna like murder this thing how would you plan to kill it do you snap it i i would have been i would have run right at it and like grabbed i probably probably would have got killed myself. Right. But I was worried because she usually runs after animals. She's a very brave little dog. Not brave is not the right word. I don't think brave is a thing.

Brazen? Brazen, better. But she goes offline, too. When she sees something, she goes at it. You don't think bravery is a thing? No. I don't. I think you... Let's say you go in, there's a burning building with children in it.

And you like love those children. Like the pain of them burning is what's pushing you in, not bravery. Do you know what I mean? It's not the lack of fear. It's of like, I guess of getting burnt. It's the fear of losing. I don't know. There's just like a pain pleasure principle in effect that you calculate when you do or don't do something.

So you think it's more logic? Well, it's just like if someone, you go, okay, someone didn't go in somewhere because there was bees and they're really afraid of bees. Like they can't control it. Bees like make them terrified terrified so they're dealing with terror And others goes like I'm already there I'm more brave than you but no you're not dealing with the same brain as the other person I'm so kind of the motivation for the theory is that you just want to take away the idea of Cowardice more than you want to take away the idea. Yes, I'm taking both away. Yeah

Because it is true. If it's like these people acted brave, then the people who didn't do that are the cowards. But it's like, well, it's not really fair. If you got in their brain, yeah, I think. It's predetermined a little. Yeah, I think. So for like a soldier who's like more brave than the other soldiers,

what would you think that is i mean the variables are so vast but there might be you know you have to go back to how the dad treated that kid right you know a painful experience i mean i have a thing where um like i me and my brothers and friends through this like egg splash on this nerd in our neighborhood. I felt so bad about it. What's an egg splash? It's like egg and mayo. You get stuff in your kitchen as a kid

and you mix it together and you throw it on somebody. Out of a car? Did you just run up to him? No, we just met. We were like, let's meet and play baseball. It's the worst.

I felt so bad about it. I've done things like that and they haunt me still. Haunted. So anyway, so anyway these things if you take i'm just using one example but like later on in my life i i was in college and i this kid was this nerdy kid was like at a party he was like sick outside and i went outside and i took care of him now this girl saw me do this and then she brought me back to her place this side thing but she got into her underpants and asked me to tell me get in her bed and i laid there and then i like left after two hours i didn't know that like she wanted to have sex like i i still didn't know to like make

a move that haunts me but the separate thing is that this she rewarded if she knew i did this horrible thing and that's why i did this totally but she's just like oh he's nice he did that right she doesn't think her kindness was born out of making up for i made someone miserable and i feel guilty and this motivates this there's like a lot of things to the dude you egg mayo splashed i i sent him a message on uh facebook i said nerd i said no i haven't uh i don't know where he is yeah we became friends though after that we became different i have the same thing i actually find sometimes when you bully someone it creates a nice person it makes you nicer and actually sometimes it makes the what's weird it's like a little like adjacent to stockholm syndrome It makes them want to be your friend more, too.

Maybe out of fear that you'll do it again. Or maybe it's something like they felt like they deserved it. So then they want you to like them because then it would mean that they don't have that thing that made you do it to them. I can still see his face and the egg just dripping down his face. Anyway, that's just an example of bravery. I think those things are a million variables you know right so most brave people like teabag someone in high school and they're like all right i gotta kill something yeah i think they all teabagged someone at some point right i don't want to take away from the soldiers done something brave like they they deserve to be like um you know commended but i think if you're in their brain and they're and you're in you have their same

experiences you would do the same thing they did it's just uh yeah what's the bravest thing you've ever done oh see now are you calculating because i was so afraid i got pushed through the fear yeah do you want like a physical thing could be anything or like a emotional thing are you a daredevil i think the emotional stuff is probably more terrifying for most people i think yeah i mean i think even like asking a girl i asked this girl out It was terrifying Why was it so scary? Because I didn't really know her And I never had asked a girl That I didn't like really know

You know I usually could do a thing Where like You know They would tell me We're dating They'd be like We're dating now

Like that's And so I dated like Very strong women No one was a strong woman Yeah But I was like I got on this I was at this

Shop You know It was like a T-shirt shop And I was with a girl At the time So I was like, I got on this shop, it was like a t-shirt shop, and I was with a girl at the time, so I was safe also. And I left, and I'm like, if you don't ask this girl, you're never in your life going to ask out somebody that you didn't really know. And I think that's something everyone should kind of do. If you hit it off, you should like...

How did you approach it? I was terrified, but I went back in the store. I hung out outside the store for a while, kind of trying to pump myself up to do a good of this. And so I went in, and what came out of my mouth was, oh, I want to buy that shirt, actually. Even though I didn't want to buy the shirt, but I was delaying. I do that, too.

Yeah. You're staring, and you're like're like oh i'm just looking at the menu yeah yeah yeah i was like that yeah yeah it turns out that was a woman's shirt and it's way too small and i had to give it away and i brought up to the front and it was 105 dollars this t-shirt yeah you're already in too deep i'm in way too deep so then i I'm like, do you ever date or go out with people that you don't really know that well? And she goes, like, what do you mean? She didn't know what I was saying. I'm like, you know how somebody buys really expensive T-shirts? And then she got it.

And then she said she had a boyfriend, which is the best thing to do. That's the best thing that's the best right i really appreciate that you took your swing it didn't work out it's like i could be like oh she would have if she don't work i can save my ego a little bit but um it wasn't a bad experience yeah i did it did you feel good after sort of like getting off stage or something good i felt i felt okay do you feel like proud yourself? I think a little bit. A little bit. But pride's another thing where I don't feel like

I deserve pride or shame. Or shame. It's not like I'm down on myself. I don't think... I like this approach. You do away with the positive ones because you do away with the negative ones. I'm just living in kind of a balanced existence where everything just is kind of i i think it's true i don't think

pride do you think there's funny and unfunny i mean i think that's uh depends on the person if it makes you laugh it's funny you know right jessica is sitting over there she found something very funny the other day she doesn't want to talk about it i um smoked way too or no she ate a little marijuana and then she had this idea that the bathroom what if i rented the bathroom out as a studio apartment and then she couldn't stop laughing so that to her that was really funny you know it depends on the person I know what you mean yeah you're like that you'll have like a thing that makes you laugh and then you'll laugh about it for like for like days yeah there are some things though where a lot of people find it funny I don't and I I feel very lonely I come this is another species I don't understand why they think this

is so funny yeah I think I think I think I think really weird random things are funny and I'll say it on it for like like you said like for like days I have a theory about why you think that happens to you you do what do you think yeah because you're funny and you think of things and then to make you laugh you need to be weird because you need to go the surprise is part of funny it needs to be like a surprise yeah i think it's like something in like the i'll notice like a particular type of behavior yeah that's like not like i guess yeah it'll like strike me in like a weird way of like. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're right.

Yeah. I don't really know. Yeah, like my sister likes things, like things that are funny. I don't think are funny. It makes me feel distant from her a little bit. But it's fine, you know. Did you guys agree on most stuff growing up too? Or was it always like that?

She was like six years older, so we weren't like that close. But she'll be like, you know who's really funny jeff dunham or something like that yeah like she doesn't think i'm funny really she's like you know you should watch yeah you know big bang theory or something like that yeah yeah and you go oh no my sister's never gonna think i'm good no matter what i do when you when you wrote on shows did you ever not were you ever not compatible with the other people you're writing with yeah yeah how do you manage that in like a professional space um yeah i my my last job i tried the show was sort of not what i did was more political a little bit. So I would hand in sketches that were ridiculous,

and I tried to mold what I did to fit, but it never really quite did. So would the political people look at your sketches and be like, I'm not sure they were polite, but it was. Yeah, no, we did a couple of them. And it's just, you know, they needed writers to write monologues, you know, it was, they needed writers to write, like, monologues, you know. This is like Realtime with Bill Maher or something?

It was kind of like that. Okay. I love that. One of your sketches that got me in that, like, I couldn't stop laughing about it was Rob Kardashian. Like, one of the early Caitlyn ones. I forget. You know the ones where she was like her new vagina or something she took like the chainsaw to or whatever oh yeah yeah it was one

of those orgasm yes that or it was that or it was like they were like near each other in terms of when he posted it and then rob would come on and they would just shame rob yeah you remember that one yeah i've done a couple of those but yeah it's like rob is not popular but i i like doing rob too i love rob that popular like we remember rob once like i want to give someone for everybody else to pick on too yeah yeah he's a good uh punching bag yeah yeah yeah but people like the kim and courtney and the popular ones rob's not that popular there's certain things i like to do but there aren't they're popular um but yeah i like variety so i get like um i want to i want to add i gotta find like a young

talented girl that does impressions and stuff for you like guy heavy and um I want the channel like the channel be like more like a network thing that's other people you know doing stuff right you want it to be an ensemble yeah like we do a show every week and it's like um I'm doing you know costume changes and stuff and just feels like be good to add some different points of view in there yes and some more talent i always think about that too and then you meet other people and you're like it's so hard to find it's really hard also really hard to find someone to write with i write with uh kurt metzger a lot he's just like we we like we are good writing together because we're both different, but we have the same sense of humor, you know?

And did you guys meet on Dune? Or is that how you guys got close to him? We wrote on, yeah, we wrote on A Machine Recham. We were in the same room, you know, small writer's room. She would always put me and Kurt together because she knew I didn't like, I told her, I said,

please don't put me with Kurt, and then so I put you with Kurt. Why did you want to be with Kurt? I love but he just would his energy is like he's got a lot of cups of coffee right it's a lot of coffee it's like constant vaping too and then it's like this fucking bitch on facebook yeah he's very passionate so i i i absorb people's energy it's like pretty hard then i would be like anxious and stuff yeah i do the same yeah yeah are you sensitive guy i think i'm very yeah i think i am me too and yeah i don't like being around sort of like very negative yeah because it just bombs you know i'll like be having a good day i'll like start off off and be like, Oh, it's a great day. And then someone will come in with like, and I'm just like,

it just, it brings me down. Yeah. And I, it's the worst. We soak it up. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm trying to, um, get a handle on that a little bit. But you like intense energy though. I do like intense. Like you probably get along better with like Kev than anyone. Yeah. Because his little Metzger,

like, it's just like, it's just a raw stream of like yeah intensity and it's very deeply felt and it's loudly expressed yeah i love lack of self-awareness i think that's my favorite yeah yeah yeah me too yeah and don't like really dumb but like confident dumb i like a lot right smart like you're listening to you're like is this smart and you think about it for a second like no're like, no, no. It's very articulating. That's my favorite.

What was I going to say? I had something really deep to say. Oh, dude. Super important. We can give you a moment if you've got a sense to find it. Oh, that's what it was. I think if I was a girl, I'd be a very emotional girl. But since I'm a guy, I've had to squelch and go be a cool dude.

You guys know me as this really cool guy, right? You guys know that Kyle's a really cool guy. The coolest. That's how we talk about you. It's often. Hey, Twitter world. It's me, Kyle. Yeah.

Hey, Twitter world. Josh Julie. What's going on with that? I think you can do it, okay. The replies on his tweets are all about him being a murderer. Why does he do it? Can you imagine? Every single reply is like, oh, fuck, dude.

I can't even think of them. I mean, that's almost more psychotic than murdering your wife, is to be a public personality afterwards, be known as a murderer, and just be tweeting all the time about sports and leaving your comments on he must get a couple positive ones that keep him going it's like when you play golf and you play i read it too it's like you don't get there there aren't many comments every now and then they'll say like broncos rule or something but yeah it's rare but i think i'd be a very emotional uh woman is my point i think you would

do i would too yeah but jt's more emotional than i am but yeah because of the colombian stuff maybe both my parents are very raw like they're very hard on their is that a colombian thing because i just knew her and her family and it was incredibly uh it was actually a little volatile the mother and father used to just scream. My parents were the same. And then my dad, I think that's why he liked my mom, is because her family was... And I can't speak for all Colombians. I've only been there once.

But most of my Colombian family is like... Speak for them. They... Like my mom, if you party with my mom, it's like a really exciting night. But she will laugh, dance, cry, yell at someone. That's interesting. It's like the deepest happiness.

And then also like the purest anger. And it's all in the scope of like six hours. Yes. It was very much like that. This girl had a younger brother who was mentally had problems, but they ignored it. And the mom,

she wanted to keep him like an invalid. And I wanted to teach him how to do things like cook and stuff because I thought maybe I'd marry this girl maybe and I didn't want to have to take care of this kid. It's like giving him a skill set so he can survive on his own. Yeah. He was like 21 and he would just come down and watch cartoons at 1 p.m. and she would bring him food.

So one day I taught him how to make pancakes. He was excited to learn. He actually had a thirst. And the mom came in and she took the spatula away from me and she kicked me out of the kitchen she wanted to keep him that way so that he'd always be close yeah he used to kick the dog oh really don't kick the dog they spoiled the fuck out of me because then i'd always need him yeah interesting uh-huh i'm on to you mom did you uh did you grow up with kind of like stoic stoic Because like my, like I'm sensitive too.

Yeah. My dad would be like, you're too sensitive. No, he appreciated it more. But I'd be like, in college I remember one time I was like, Dad, I think I have anxiety. And he's like, no, you don't. And I'm like, I think maybe I could see like a therapist. And he's like, they're quacks.

And so I just stuffed it down. No, tell him what he told you to do after you brought it up it's so funny which one you told me one time that you asked your dad you're like dad i think i have anxiety he's like that's not real grab this protein bar in the center council right he's like we're going golfing we're going to hit drives eat that protein bar and do some pull-ups and that's not bad advice it's not bad advice i think it's actually i've incorporated it into my life.

You just always keep a protein bar on the console. Did you have the same? My dad was stoic, quiet. Yeah. My mother wasn't.

She was kind of emotional. Not crazy emotional, but yeah. What was she doing? Did she have a day gig or was she no she's a mother three kids i think that does i think that makes people emotional too yeah like a lot of mom i grew up in orange county and a lot of the moms who were just yeah at home all day i think it kind of invariably creates a kind of uh emotional interesting energy and kind of neuroses

too because they're around these kids all the time you think yeah they don't have like other adults to talk to about like kind of like important stuff i mean super important to like you know manage the family but i think if you're not interacting with like she felt like she really like i remember she would do characters with me for hours i would think this lady is like doing this a long time i remember one time and and she wasn't very creative or something yeah but she wasn't creative either i was like no i'm you know my uh she would go i remember she was like talking i was doing this like craig character which i still do i did since i was like a little kid and i then i would improv back a bit what's your name and then one time she said girl like that was her improv back i would be like

that's like the worst improv like end scene you like do notes with her afterwards you're like mom the humor's in the specificity exactly i mean carolyn any name give me something to play on but she panicked she didn't couldn't think of name, so she just said girl. Or maybe she's doing like a Samuel Beckett, like uber simple. I wish it was that, but it wasn't. It was just terrible, terrible mother improv. Your mom sucks at improv, dude. I'm sorry. So Craig was the character you did on Reno 911.

Yeah, I've been doing that since I was five years old. So did the writer. Were you a writer on that, too? No, but there's no real writing on that show. Right. The script was like... It really was kind of unnerving because I remember one time I went there

and they were like, you're getting a cake and it's got a file in it. Three, two, one and the camera would start. You had no time to prepare anything which I found a little unnerving. I watching that as a kid so fun and i i loved it yeah but i just i didn't understand if it was real or not yeah yeah as a kid i was like are these the real reno like i really was i was confused i thought it was hilarious yeah i was like it's on comedy central

clearly it's a comedy it made me laugh but i'm like but i never really fully grasped i was like it's on comedy central clearly it's a comedy it made me laugh but i'm like but i never really fully grasped i'm like i don't i don't really know what's going on here like are these the real cops or not that was like porn when you start watching it when it was like yeah my friend's hot mom you're like is this guy really seducing his friends but then you see her on like another series like wait a second yeah yeah is that a real real estate agent that's not what she should be doing she was a doctor last week she should sell that house yeah is this what my stepmom does yeah um babysitters shouldn't be look we know all the categories oh yeah yeah it's interesting that they're so deeply entrenched i guess there's just something it is interesting

you know why is this popular like taboo like all those incest ones in the 80s and 90s you're like i guess a lot of people are just nanny is popular which is disturbing they're all disturbing right no i don't think i don't think real estate agent is so disturbing i think nanny's way more disturbing the young girl ones are the most disturbing um school girl can't figure out her homework i'll help you with your homework here's my penis is the general plot it's funny when they try to elevate in there like our porn is more like uh do you appreciate that do you like a little i don't think it works as well but i appreciate that they're trying to like that like when the porn stars themselves try to make it into something that's a bit more like...

Do you ever see, like, a good, like, camera move and you go, oh, shit. Like, do they have a jib? Yeah, right. Like, oh, okay. There's, like, a nice pan and you're like, who directs this? Pedro Almodovar? I'm like, it's got dollars, dude. Pretty smooth shot to her asshole.

I actually grew up with a guy. shot to her asshole. I actually grew up with a guy. My friend was a big film junkie growing up, and now he does porn stuff, and he's very proud that he works with a company that does 4K and that has more sophisticated camera movement. Oh, see, there's pride.

Definitely. He's like, we do the most cinematic of the smut. It's so funny how not important it is. I know, I'm like, bro i i like it more when it's amateur bare bones but i like i like that i like cinema verite for across the board not just for my porn fake taxi driver took me a little while to to what's that one is she driving or he's driving attack he's driving he's driving he pulls over and he's like oh you're horny okay then they

fuck lucky guy yeah what's like the Yeah. What's the weirdest one? What's the weirdest one? Of porn? Like a scenario. There's a few of them, but it's weird. The weirdest one? I'm into pretty weird stuff. I'm into like cuckold stuff.

That's pretty bizarre. Oh, I don't like to see that. No, I don't like that. No, it's weird. Yeah. Makes you feel say that no i don't like that no it's weird yeah makes you feel like you got cheated on is that what it is my seventh grade so i talked to a therapist about like having jealousy issues or something and she says it's because my seventh grade girlfriend almost left me for like a big basketball player oh but she didn't leave you no dude i did the weirdest thing. I was texting her.

I had his instant messenger on my thing, and I was talking to her as him. And I was like, just dump JT. I was trying to make the thing happen, like testing her. It was bizarre masochism on my part. How'd you get his? I was at my buddy's house, and you'd go to your friend's house and sign into your account so you could hang out and talk to people and his was there with the password saved

so I could just pretend to be him it only did it once when I was talking to her once every day did she say yeah I'm gonna dump him she's like I'm conflicted but I can't do it well that's good but then she broke up with me a couple weeks later so I think maybe the wound

you put the seed in her mind she was smoking hot really? smoking hot have you gotten I looked her up a couple years ago I think she's married to like an NFL tight end now or something oh really?

I used to get a little jealous and then I had a thought that cured it which was if I ever think is she cheating on me? I'll go, if she does, I think that's gross. And I'll be able to get over her easier because that's gross. Because she's unethical. She's dirty, dirty.

No, yeah. I saw you thinking about it. Like, I'm going to let her rip. Hey, Twitter world. Hey, Twitter world. It's yours, Judy. Dude, I think you can about it like, when I let her rip. Hey, Twitter world. Hey, Twitter world. It's yours, too. Dude, I think you can do all that. I think if you do a murderer,

people forget about the other stuff. Cheat on me. Hey, fucking bitch. I'll show her. Hey, Twitter world. And that guy from that restaurant. I'll show her and that guy from that restaurant. Wait, I did that.

I love that he was like, the most expensive rare shoes was a footprint. Yeah. I mean, you've never, like the logistics of it having to be a conspiracy, like you have to tell all, you have to tell all the scientists, you have to tell everybody,

like, here's what we're doing. Yeah. And just, I just don't believe people don't think he did it. I mean, how can you, I guess you kind of get, like, blind to facts when you really want to believe something. Does he have any supporters, like, public supporters at the moment? It's definitely dwindled since the 90s. Right.

I think people kind of woke up so he for sure did that i think even the people who defend him think he did it but they just are like look the system was corrupt and like yeah it became more about yeah it's been fucking over certain people for so long that like now you guys are getting a taste of your own medicine i think that's like the most emphatic defense no one's like he didn't do it. She had like a lockbox. To get a secure box with your pictures of the wounds of him beating the crap out of you. Being like, this person's going to murder me if it ever happens. Yeah.

That evidence right there is huge. Yeah. The cut finger. I mean, you cut your finger so rarely. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Think of the last time you like cut your finger

was like gushing blood no it doesn't i don't play with knives it happened the same night especially i yeah i don't think he's he slicing up an avocado yeah he said he cut it and he because he heard the news and broke a glass and that's how he said he cut it do you guys at all respect the defense for being able to pull off that? Oh, absolute. I have total respect for that miracle. You watch Johnny Cochran do it, and you're like, I know this isn't defense of something wrong. Justice should be served. But you're like, Johnny Cochran, you're a genius, dude.

It is a weird thing. Yeah, have a good lawyer. Because you go, you want the person to be defended, but not that well. Right. Yeah. You want them to be defended properly, but not... Like, he surveyed the field so well. My father was actually going to write a book.

He never did this, but he was going to write a book about the way the system's set up is flawed because if you're selecting a jury and you say, like, hey, this person spilled McDonald caught McDonald's coffee on themselves. Do you think someone who just spills coffee on themselves, it's like kind of their fault? And anybody goes like, yeah, yeah, it sounds like you're off the jury. So now you have a jury of people who everyone was like, not necessarily.

That's your jury. So it's kind of flawed the way they picked the jury. It was set up where the judge was supposed to throw out cases that were dumb. Right. But no one throws out cases. If you stack the jury with dumb people, you got a good shot. I mean, it's good to lean towards keeping it. Because the worst thing is to put an innocent person in jail, I think.

It's the worst thing. Yeah, false imprisonment. Was that Shawshank Redemption? Yeah. Of course, yeah. God, such a good movie. Andy. Andy Dufresne. Can't wait to see my friend. Crawled through sludge. Zee Juan Tanejo.

That's where they go at the end in Mexico. Oh, good. Nice pull. I don't understand how they found that tree, though. No, it was a terrible plan to get in there. There's a tree by a wall. And there's a rock. There it is. Here's the only tree by a wall with a rock near it.

And when Red shows up, Andy's just kind of like, oh, hey, you made it. Like, if your friend who had been in prison for a week was like, holy fuck, dude, you found the tree and the rock. How'd you find that tree? Yeah, it could have been some random kid picked it up and was like, fuck this just threw it and then the whole plan's off found the tree yeah well what kind of lawyer was your dad he was a civil lawyer he focused on airplane crashes towards the end wow uh yeah and he defending the airline or the folks we first was airline, and then he went over to the people, and then he got this huge case. He started this law firm that would just lose money

when he left town, so he started his own law firm. We got this huge case. It was a Croatia crash, and it was like Ron Brown, a bunch of multimillionaires were on this plane, like 17 multimillionaires. And then the lawyer gets,

the widow gets what, if you if you find sorry if you find that it was someone else's fault like the airlines um then you go what would this person what would they have made and then you give that money to the widow right so my father found that these maps were outdated and they were smashed into a something so it was like their fault and so he's like I'm gonna make he was gonna make like 60 million dollars off this one and he was not like he never like made a lot of money and so he got this case and there's a law firm sued him for like leaving even he started that because they wanted like the money yeah and then he started this case and he got like a brain tumor right away and then they uh

he got like he had another council come in they did one case one of the people so my mother got like some money so she didn't have to work and um but if he just lived another year and a half he would have made like 60 million dollars so he found that the pilots were using outdated maps yeah the maps were outdated interesting caused the crash that would cause the crash. That's crazy he found that. Do you know? Yeah. I'm not sure how he found it. But I remember there was a piece of the plane in his office.

Just a wreckage. Would he talk to you about his cases and stuff? No, he was a quiet guy. But I never asked. I wish I had, but I never really thought to. What do you think happened to that Malaysia flight that disappeared? Dude, I think about that all the time. Right?

Like the pings throw me off. Yeah. Is that... That they're coming from the bottom of the ocean? Are they? I don't know. Oh, no. I haven't looked into it in like a year or so.

The last I heard, like the pings went all the way down to Australia, but I don't know if that's true. Yeah. That used to be my opener on dating apps. What do you think happened? My friend Dustin gave it to me. I said, what do you think happened to that Malaysian airplane? That's pretty good.

It was good. It was crazy. But then any time they'd respond since I got it from a friend, I was like, what do I say next? And I was like, all right, I need to come up with my own line of thinking. I listened to a podcast on it, and I think, I need to listen to it again, but I think the overall conclusion was that,

well, there was a conspiracy that one of the pilots was murdering. It was like a suicide mission. And so he just flew it into the ocean. It's at the bottom of the ocean. I have that every time I get on an airplane. I have that. And I heard Matt Damon talking about this on Dax Shepard's podcast, that their fear of flying was built around them not being successful yet.

And so they were just worried every time they got on a plane that they're like, Oh, I haven't done enough yet. And I do think that's what mine's kind of rooted in. Oh, but every time I get on a plane, I do think about the pilots. I'm like,

we're all just banking on the fact that these dudes are in a good state of mind and that they don't want to fuck with people and that they don't want to do any harm. But like, it's a lot of trust. It works out. Cause we, we haven't had an American commercial crash in like 10 years,

but that's crazy to me yeah yeah i don't like flying at all my dad had a little plane when younger it was a little propeller it was like a toyota with wings and that's where that was dangerous but it's surprisingly safe to fly i just it doesn't feel it doesn't make sense whenever i'm landing i'm like this does not make sense landing is i don't get nervous for that because we're already down there yeah for that i get nervous for the people tell me the takeoff i i love the takeoff but the landing is what gets me interesting i'm more scared when we're just up in the air i'm like that all the way we're just like down where we could like crash and i'd be kind of getting all right there it

makes sense to my brain i'm like i can see the ground i'm like if i can tuck and roll if i have to at this point yeah yeah but when we're 30 000 feet in the air i'm like i have no ability to do anything i want to bring a parachute on but i i know i would open the door too quick and jump out you jump out light turbulence you're out we were talking or if you're flying with someone what do you do with them you take them with you or you just let them stay? I would do the Mission Impossible and grab someone. Nice. Grab, you know. Yeah, but we were talking about this in a recent episode.

Grab someone's dog. Which former president do you think would assume the role that Harrison Ford did in Air Force One? I think, well... Trump would just bail. We think Trump would just shoot. Yeah, Trump would bail to shoot for sure. We think Clinton would bail. I think Barack Obama probably. bail we think Trump would bail we think Clinton would bail

I think Barack Obama probably that's who we thought we were like cause he's so it seems like he's so he loves Michelle

a lot yeah that's about it though Nixon no way oh I think JFK would be gone I think Reagan maybe Reagan

I don't I think he'd be gone too I think Reagan I think the old I think George Herbert would stay Herbert I think the Bushes he'd get off i think he'd be gone too i think reagan i think the old i think george herbert would stay in herbert i think the bush you get off you think he'd get off he's a skydiver though so he yeah he was in the war he might yeah he probably i bet yeah that's good gerald ford i

think would stay teddy roosevelt i think nixon would stay teddy roosevelt would how far back we go dude i think poke, dude. Yeah, exactly. I was just thinking. Herbert Hoover, dude, guy had a lot of heart. Yeah, he would have stuck around for the fam. Tap probably couldn't even fly. He's a big one. He'd bring the plane down himself.

Adams might, you know, stay around. Oh, yeah, yeah. Kick some dirt with that guy. But I don't like that it's a tube. I don't like any of it. I'm right's a tube. I don't like any of it. I'm right there with you. I don't like it's flying. It's like, meh.

It's an explosion on either side of the plane. Mm-hmm. No. What do you think about Hamilton? The play? Mm-hmm. Or the...

The musical? I didn't... That was all right. That was like 90s hip-hop. Like, since it's on Broadway, it's new. But I could kind of write this, I think. I don't know. Did you guys see it?

No, what were you about to do? I watched part of it on Disney+. But he saw it. I'm into it. But what was that physicality you were about to do about it? They just were like... You think it was a little corny? Yeah, it was just like, I take my shot.

I'm going to get my shot. It just felt like that the whole time. I like the king, and I like that song. When he came in all cocky. What was that song? I think it was You'll Be Back or something like that. He was like, without me. Yeah, that was funny and good.

I mean, I get it. I get it i get it i saw it in the broadway um theater and people were like freaking out really you were just like whatever kind of like i was like that i saw there will be blood midnight premiere i drove up from Orange County to the Arclight oh I love that there will be blood but I wasn't into it and after the movie

I was like drinking coffee to stay awake I never drank coffee back then and then I looked around I was like everybody was clapping I was like fucking idiots dude

I was like you made up your mind you were gonna clap like a week ago I like that though when he's like he's like I drink it up

your milkshake you didn't like that speech at the end yeah day lewis is amazing did you ever see him in my left foot i i've been re-watching all this stuff so i just watched last of the mohicans a couple nights ago very uh committed very mentally handy they could not do that movie anymore he's like full-on really he goes full dude he's good they play like a soccer game and the physicality

that he does I don't think I think that was probably the easiest performance I think he's an amazing actor but I think to play that is not hard yeah

I know they got awards if you play used to if you played like someone who's mentally handicapped you got an academy award like pretty quickly but I think it's the easiest thing I think it's sean penn i do think it's john penn

i'm nice yeah he's just like i think it's easier to do his acting but i think we were talking about this because i watched rain man and i remember just being like yeah you cannot make this movie i'm like dustin hoffman's way out on an island in this performance and i thought dustin hoffman was so like pretentious that he never questioned his performance in it. But then Aaron told me he wanted to quit because he was like, this is going to be so disrespectful. Really? I feel like the hardest part isn't the acting,

but just showing up to work every day and being like, I guess I'm doing this. I'm going to put my pants on that are too high and my big white shoes and get to work. I'm just going to act like a disabled person today yeah i just saw a documentary about the making of forrest gump yeah and the studio had like after the day the first day of dailies was like he's not gonna talk like that the whole movie right this big fight about a smart man yeah jenny oh he said jenny too much a movie he's like but jenny did he say jenny too much

anyway listen do you know that fart in the um i just saw the other day the fart in the phone booth was was an improv he actually did fart in the phone booth oh really good actor who was like yeah fart you fucking fart right yeah fart that's amazing oh and rayman that's amazing those that's skilled actors when you can make a fart a part of a scene in like an oscar caliber yeah it's skilled actors i'd be so embarrassed i always pictured the table read where they they're doing it and he does that yeah the voice and everyone's just like whoa they're just like looking down at their yeah yeah all right i went full in high school you did in high school for what full it was a it was a student written student written yeah you liked

it that was good work it was it was solid work for a high school kid to write and i was like yeah i'll do this part and i was like i don't do it. But I went there. Were you practicing at home, too? But back then, it was looked at as a very fine performance. It was respected. It was a respected performance. Yeah. I got into the character. Yeah.

You took it seriously, too. Mm-hmm. You weren't laughing at it at all. No. I just thought I was amazing. I thought I was an amazing actor. So did you do theater in college, too? Yeah.

I actually was an acting major, which was such a waste. And they all thought I was amazing. I thought I was an amazing actor. So did you do theater in college too? Yeah, I actually was an acting major which was such a waste and they all thought I was terrible and I didn't get along with people that well. They were too pretentious for you? They were so into being weird. I find that that rubs me wrong a lot too. They weren't even like into being... Some of them would get too into it.

This one guy named Sven. By the way, it means Sven. We're in a fencing class like what a waste of your life and we like fight or whatever and then they blew the whistle then spend after the whistle was blown like he even looked over and saw the way he like stat it hurts he like stabbed my chest i'm totally he goes got you this sven guy was like we get so into characters that um you had to talk to him backstage as the character but he was always like playing some asshole it was awful that people do that right they'll do improv characters but then every one of their improv characters is like mean to you and i'm like are you mad at me i'm like what's going on here i i don't know i think it's

like i don't know what that because he doesn't feel comfortable doing it in his... Yeah, I guess it's his anxiety reliever. Or he's got to find a place to get that energy out. Yeah, and it's just like a silly college play. I had a friend who would cry during every improv scene. Oh, really? He'd fake cry during it. And I was like, bro, I think you just need to cry in RL.

And then you'll be able to do all the characters in the world who don't cry. We had a thing called Movement for the Actor, this class. I couldn't handle these classes. I took one of those classes, yeah. So one of our assignments was go find someone and come back in next week and walk like them. That was our assignment. So I didn't do it.

I just walked across. They're like, who is that? I'm like, this guy in a grocery store. They're like, okay. Then Fletcher McTaggart gets up. Great name. Fletcher McTaggart gets up. Total legend.

Legendary. And he was like, I'm Fletcher McTaggart. Exactly what you think. Hey, Twitter world. Fletcher McTaggart. It's yours truly, Fletcher McTaggart. So he walked halfway across the room, then he put his head in his hand,

and he started crying. He's like, like that kind of fake cry. And the teachers were like, let's all give Fletcher a hug. So the whole group is surrounding him. I'm in the back, like, I have to get out of here. And then they're like, why are you crying?

And he's like, I followed this guy. I think he was homeless. Just the most shallow empathy in the world. Get me out of here. Did you ever do like interpretive dance? I had to do some of that. They'd play weird music and gongs and like chimes. And people would just do this around the room.

Yeah. So weird. I had to choose like a, you had to choose your own song. So I chose like a, like a Deep House song. Oh, nice. And I, you know, I was like, what the fuck? That's not the least theater-y kid song. Dude, yeah.

It was something I heard at like Coachella, honestly. And I was just going like this the whole time. I was like. Yeah. And everyone else had this like really intricate. They're like really emotional. I was like. Yeah, yeah.

I was like, I don't know. And afterwards she's like, yeah, it was okay. I was like, how do you judge these? And everyone else was into it. They were crying and stuff. It was such a masturbatory thing everyone was doing. There's another thing called, some other weird class I have, but you had to, oh, oral interpretation.

So you had to read a book. This guy read Streetcar Named Des oh oral interpretation so you read to read a book this guy read streetcar named desire and you have to like do a performance about the book so there were mirrors in this like dance room we're in and he like wrote whore and lipstick then he pulled on his pants like fucking the mirror and then he went to the exit and he flipped us all off said fuck you and he left and that was his interpretation and he got an a plus so then i was like okay i'm gonna do i'm doing the glass menagerie and i got this like that's a good one yeah i got the brother or the no he's like he's interpret it oh he's just like what embody the whole yeah and i was like oh the weirder the dumber the better gray we get okay

because i did not do well. And so I got this glass, and I tied dental floss to it. And it was crystal-looking, like a glass menagerie. And I broke that. And I was outside, and I broke that. And then I dug a hole, and I put an egg in the hole, and I buried it. It made no sense to me or anything. I got an A. You got an egg.

It's fucking great. I just buried an egg. Yeah, yeah. I was watching the, did you watch the Val documentary? The new Val Kilmer documentary? No. Was that good?

It's really sad, but it's really good. What happened to him that's sad? He got his, like, trachea taken out or whatever from, like, his throat cancer. Yeah.

Really? Recently this happened? Mm-hmm. So he's speaking through, like, one of those, like, modulated oh that's right yeah I'm here

I'm out come on yeah and then sorry I'm into he's going through a rough one but uh

his acting teacher and it is like it's actually back to the suicide thing she's he's like think about being suicidal

how have you felt like that how have you felt like that and Val's kind of like he gets there but I'm like

it feels like the teacher's kind of trying to want him to like the I'm like, it feels like the teacher's kind of... Trying to want him to, yeah. The teacher's like, you need to feel this to be a good actor. Wait, is she still making him act? He doesn't, oh my God. He's like, this is when he was in college. Oh, okay.

He's sitting there and the teacher's like, I need you to get to this place. I need you to acknowledge that you have felt these things. But I was actually thinking about you, and I was like, if you were in that acting class, that's not the way to get you to do it no it's like force me to feel it yeah and especially i was kind of like i don't think some people have so it feels like the teacher is just projecting they're like right they're like i've been suicidal so if you're gonna be one of my acting students you better be suicide i'm sure you think about

all the time and i think a lot of acting teachers do that it's a little culty where they just like yeah i think acting's overrated i think it's cool and but like look at like a nine-year-old won an oscar yeah and like meryl street's like great like she'd be great without lessons yeah these actors you know not that like not to shit on it but but it's it's it's so um revered yeah we give it way too much it's like oh my god you're an actor it just needs to come down a notch it's fine but it's not like a skill where do you think actors really spend like an even an hour a day working on their craft i know some actors and it's like they don't spend even an hour a day work because there's nothing to work on really there's not that much to work on exactly yeah and i think

i think one thing about it when i was like because i stayed acting like after college and stuff and yeah i was sort of like i was like what you know because it's such like a to me it was such like a high concept you know and then the more i did it because i'm like i'd be like i'm like what is good acting i was like i couldn't really grasp it yeah you know when you see it but i'm just like what it you know but then the more you do it you're just like oh it's actually like really simple so it kind of be natural yeah just be natural and listening and it's like kind of you hear like uh marlon brano just would tape his lines and different things and just read it and you're like you just have to be natural and just read it and you're like

you just have to be natural and just kind of like be like present and you're like oh yeah since actors they do seem like they're like the most important people in like our awards for them what would we replace them with like a monarchy would be good

like a king and a queen just looking up to them as the kind of them as the T that we talk about. It is nice to have a special group because we want to feel immortal. And that sort of was our immortal, like James Dean or Marilyn Monroe. It's good when they die early. Then you can be like, that lived forever. Even though it doesn't. People don't even know who James Dean is anymore.

But there's something immortal about actors and being in a movie. You're kind of frozen at that age. There's something immortal about like actors and, you know, being in a movie, you're kind of frozen at that age. There's something immortal about it. I think we like, it's nice to feel like, I think that's mainly what we want. We want to be like,

not be dead. I was thinking about this the other day. It's like, we're our life. This is just an analogy. I was thinking about this old dark, but like you're on a dance floor and you're, you're like on a trap door,

you know, and everyone's just like dance, like have fun. They're like, what's this thing? And like, Oh, it's going to open up,

but you don't like know when like 80 years, probably it'll probably just open up, you know, falling like some spikes. That's that. There's like the, they shoot horses movies about that. It's just,

what is it? It's like this old Sydney Pollock movie from the seventies. And it's, it's like the they shoot horses movies about that it's just what is it it's like this old sydney pollack movie from the 70s and it's it's a dance-off with people and it's the last people left dancing when oh yeah people for like two hours in the movie but in the movie time it's longer yeah and they're just like dancing it's about how we're all trapped in this kind of oh really system they do that in the uh um like during the Great Depression they'd have dance offs for like $500 which is like a lot of money that's what it's based off

was it a movie? mmhmm I should write a movie about this that's a thought I had this would be a good movie it's ripe for a remake I think

oh really what's that movie called? They Shoot Horses Don't They that sounds you just made that up say the name out loud it's really say the name out loud

it sounds like a really dumb movie dude I've never even seen it I just read loud. It sounds like a really dumb movie. Dude, I've never even seen it. I just read a book about it. Like a book about movies in that time. Are you able to watch comedy? Do you watch comedy in your free time? I don't watch too much.

No, I don't watch much at all. I've just seen so much stand-up. You kind of get... It's almost like a magician. You kind of know... It's like oversaturated. A little bit of it. Yeah. But every now and then... I um like south park a family guy like those kind of things um like

animated or or what is it about those things you like i just i do like a lot of animated stuff because it gets weird you know they're able to do really weird stuff yeah um or i think like like i'll laugh more at like a scorsese movie or something where the character or like the sopranos where it's like not an outright comedy yeah the characters are just like so real yeah definitely and so outrageous that they're just like yeah or like 90 day fiance that's amazing like you know darcy and stacy you've seen that check out that yeah what's darcy and stacy they're the two twins they're little tiny twins but they're so funny little tiny like they're they're like 45 now but they're still like

you know take a chance on love you know it's my man they have this idealized version of love that they won't let go and it's just fun to watch them get disappointed what show are they on it's their own show it's called darcy and stacy they started on 90 day fiance though okay and they just love they love love but they don't listen to the guy these guys are from you know europe they're they just want to come to america there's a little bit of that and um they're just really funny it's a spin-off from 90 day yeah what are your opinions on love i What are your opinions on love? I, you know, I don't think, I think, okay, there's lust, right? Which is the best.

And that feels like the most intense love. Like when you like the person and you lust after them. You just want to be around them all the time. I think the product of that is what people consider love. I don't think it's an extra thing. I think it's those two things together. It's just the residual effect from feeling that intense about someone. And I also feel like it's unlocked within yourself

because I've felt that way with different women over my life and it's the same feeling. It's the same chemicals that are getting pumped. It's the same unlocking. Someone can unlock that in you. They have to look a certain way, smell a certain way,

and behave a certain way. If they do that, Someone can unlock that in you. They have to look a certain way, smell a certain way, and behave a certain way. If they do that, that'll get unlocked in you. And that's what we call love, I think. Yeah, and what is that? Some people, they just taste or smell the right way for your chemistry. Yeah, it's weird. It's pheromones or something. And you're like, what is it?

You can't predict it either. No, it's also like, you go, oh, no, I hope this goes well. Because if you like them, and then you go to kiss them, and you're like, that's happened a couple times know, you go, oh, no, I hope this goes well. Because if you like them, and then you go to kiss them, and you're like, that's happened a couple times. I'm like, oh, no. I started laughing once. I was kissing this girl I really liked, but there's no chemistry, and I started laughing a little bit because it was so upsetting.

And you think that's just biology. It's not like a psychology thing where you're like. I don't think it is either. Sometimes I'm like, oh, am I like not wanting this because it actually does make sense? And there's some kind of like from that seventh grade girl, some kind of twist. There might be a little bit of that in there.

But I can't say, there's no way to know. There's definitely people that smell better to you. They did an experiment where they had like five t-shirts that guys sweated in. And the one that the girls, they had to go go smell them the one they were most repulsed by was their brother they put their person the girl's brother in interesting one of the t-shirts interesting too close if the genetics are too close to your genetics you don't have like you know mentally uh challenged right your body's looking out for you

yeah your body's looking out for you yeah you want to have a kid who can perform as that person in a film yeah that's really been the theme of the show i think i've talked a long time you know you've been perfect do you feel like you i mean you're on a pod so you should probably be should probably be chatting you're right yeah not quiet He should probably be. Should probably be chatting. You're right. Yeah. Not quiet.

Do you get self-conscious if you feel like you're talking too much? Yeah, I guess sometimes socially. Like dates, early dates, I'm very aware of myself. And like eating, I'm like, I'm putting this in my mouth. Oh, yeah. So I try not to order burgers. Because if you order a burger, you're like, yeah, that's great. It's like the worst.

Or a taco, the whole thing just falls apart. And then you're just staring at each other. I'm very aware on the first couple of dates, too. And then that goes away. I almost wonder if I'm like, I need to show this person that I'm aware. Here's a good, a friend of mine told me this trick. Qualify them on the date right have that mental attitude like are you like i'm judging you feels like something you shouldn't do but yeah what is what does that mean it takes your mind off yourself so how do you qualify someone you go like how is she chewing oh like focus on their behavior yeah well that was

weird that she grabbed that like that and then you just stop thinking about yourself no i've noticed that because if i if i'm like i'll get self-conscious if i'm eating like a taco and i'm like i just ate that taco weird i fucked up and then i'll look at them eating the taco and they eat it weird i'm like oh they even notice they're just worried about themselves eating the taco do you ever really hammer at it you know it's going bad but you instead of backing away you go like right into it like the way i eat it yeah like you go i'm gonna go all the way yeah i know i think i i think i freak out and i'll like take a bite and then i'll fuck it up even more and then like shit will get everywhere isn't it weird we were like first day let's go

eat food let's put things in our mouth it's very intimate yeah let's just open our mouths and like shove things in their mouths and look at each yeah let's just open our mouths and like shove things in their mouths and look at each other yeah i'm sure you shouldn't do that and then what should you do guys like going to get a drink or something you can look cooler just like i don't know go pretty sloppy drinker just pouring ice cubes over your feet yeah yeah do uh that made me i've heard a lot of people say when they auditioned for snl or when they met lauren michaels they became very aware of what they were doing. Did you ever?

Oh, yeah. I had a whole thing, a whole mental breakdown auditioning for that show. Oh, really? Well, I went in, and nothing was going on in my career at the time. I just didn't know how I was going to survive. So that's like underlying.

And if you do characters, that's like the place to go. Yeah. It was also, yeah, it's like kind of, it was my dream as a kid. So it was just huge. And I just, I sent in a tape of me doing impressions and they, they flew me out to New York and it was just, it felt so big. It's just such a too big at the time I get that feeling too like I think some people are meant to work in like smaller teams and not in

such a institution I guess it's it was like the timing of it was just kind of wrong because I hadn't been practicing impressions or any of that stuff it's all just like you know now I feel like I could audition what was the audition nervous but like so i went there and then i'm in a hotel room by myself for two days just like running my my set like six minutes and then i went there and there's 30 of us it was like john mulaney was there and like nick kroll like really good people and uh there's 30 of us i was like just not first i don't know i don't want to first you like that no of course

someone else go first bite the bullet get my so like first up is Kyle Dunn again first I'm like fuck but I ended up thinking

you can do this bro you know because you have no choice you're stuck you're stuck facing a lion like I can take this lion but I already feel myself

crumbling you know what I mean so then um they come and they mic you up which feels nerve-wracking they're gonna mic you up so then the the guy goes the camera guy goes i'm gonna count you three two one you're writing your stuff so i really hung on it you know when you're really nervous you like you're just trying to do everything correctly yeah like that like if i do it right which is not like a comedy mindset so i walk out there and like lauren michaels and the writers are like over here and the camera's there i don't

really know where to look so i just like staring at the camera and the guy's not counting me in and i'm just hanging on that like i'm gonna go into my stuff and this guy counts me in and then lauren michaels goes hello like say hello to us yeah i was like oh hello hi and i went back to the camera and i'm like this did you know it was lauren talking to you yes it's very much so so he's not counting me in so now i'm like this like standing there like that's brutal for longer than i'm doing it now yeah and then laura michaels goes are you okay oh i haven't started but it's over the whole audition's over yeah i've crumbled inside like like i felt my whole inner just like crumble and then i started telling the guy i go

that guy said that he goes three two one like he're in trouble? So now the light's on, and I'm, like, really thrown. And then I start doing impressions, and I was doing them really bad. I didn't even have access to my ability to do impressions. I was, like, standing next to myself. Like, that doesn't sound at all like the person, you know? That's weird when that happens sometimes in performance where, like, the road to get to where your skills are is just like, it's blocked today.

It's hijacked. And I had a piano out there. They drug a piano for me, and I couldn't play. I was gone. How long did it take for you to get over that? Just starting to. Yeah, right. Like today. just starting to yeah right it's like today like do you know that i was really upset for a while

but i also you know at that moment i was not ready to do that show i mean that that's a live show you need to suck it up and you need to be able to take pressure and i i couldn't take the pressure that day and uh i think it's totally understandable yeah i think it's a weird kind of gauntlet yeah and i've gotten sketch shows before i've done like sketch shows yeah it was the only things i ever like booked were sketch shows but that show at that time was just i was just like it felt too big or something i was too nervous are you able to look back with that kind of perspective of like i'm glad that didn't work out at that time because it led to this. You know, kind of. I'll tell you what could have happened.

I could have been invisible there. You really, I mean, they have like 20 cast members. It's so hard to make your mark. And if you don't, you get fired in the first year. Like, they fire, like, great people. Tim Robinson. Tim Robinson. Michaela Watkins, a friend of mine, who's amazing.

Jenny Slate. Yeah, and if you don't hit, i think that that would have been like real tough to uh just do a year there and not really in and i think the stuff you're doing competition yeah i don't know if i would have gotten to where i am which i i which came out of me you know not having any help which now i feel like really safe and what i'm doing i mean they can't cancel my show i can't get fired and um you know we're starting to like um make money and stuff and so i don't know what would have happened if i got that show did you when social media first started becoming a thing did you sort of like be like

i'm never really getting involved in that or did you sort of see the potential in it i didn't see like i had some viral videos early on and youtube i didn't realize the potential i just dropped it and then i had a like a viral video on myspace and then i was like oh i'm gonna build this up because i got like a like 20 000 followers or something and then that died and i was like fuck this all that work to like get followers yeah and then facebook started i'm like so it took me a while to get to it right um yeah i didn't quite see my youtube channel look you know i could have made that a lot earlier yeah and i think it's hard to to not be because like when we started getting an audience and

stuff we're like oh this is just like a a stepping stone to get to like hollywood i know yeah i think it's hard to to break away from that to see because yeah i had that same mentality until i started learning about how much like youtubers make i know i was like i didn't really think it was like i was like yeah you get like followers and stuff there's no you need to be on tv or movies to make money now they make more money now they make more money it's insane I'm so thankful that it exists because, yeah. When I was younger, it didn't seem like even a possibility. People didn't talk about it.

Yeah. But, yeah. I mean, without the internet, I would not be in this business. There's no... You seem like a cool guy, too. You seem like you have pretty easy to hang with were you were you is uh in most of your like work situations when you got kind of dropped into these shows with like a different cast and might not have been like your uh there

was always like an intensity because the jobs are so coveted i did this jamie foxx had a pilot and it just it's so intense we all thought we're gonna get fired every day it's just like not a great environment for um comedy really fucking around and like hanging out everyone's like trying to do their thing um yeah so how'd you like hang out with them when you're on set and you're all in that headspace we kind of bonded eric andre was on the show too the mutual terror yeah we just were like and then we did the pilot and we were like what was that it wasn't jamie foxx's friends wrote it and they were they just got out of jail and they weren't

comedy writers so we just we got this trash and then he would come in once a week we'd read the script and he he'd throw the script. He'd throw the script. He had shades on and like leather pants. Very cool. Jamie Foxx. Yeah, he's so talented too. Eye roll. It was like at his peak too of like, you know, fame.

So he was like really feeling himself. And he threw the script. He's like, fuck the script. You do you. You do you. Get in your face. And I'm like, okay, I'll do me. And then he'd leave and the executive producer would be like, no, you have to do the script.

Yeah, they're like once a week. Writer's Guild. And then I wrote a a couple sketches and i sent them to the uh the guys and i was like i just have these if you guys want me you can take credit from i don't even want i just wanted to get like a like a sketch that i could do because they literally didn't have a beginning middle or an end that you could sort of point to like they just it would end and you'd go oh that was the end yeah of that sketch so then they told on me and then the executive producer just talked

brought me in they kind of talked and he said I can't you know write it's a guild rule something like that stay in your lane

a little bit stay in your lane but so he hired his buddies who were fresh out of the clink who were not writers and then we did the pilot which was like mediocre at best

and then he gets on the mic and he's like I told you I told you and then Afion Crock he gets on the mic and he's like i told you i told you and then afion crocker was the other guy and he goes all that fox care about is their wallets and i'm on this stage like miracle i even got this job you know and i'm just like please shut the fuck up fox is there fox just paid two million dollars for this mediocre pilot and they're there and they're paying for these people these audience members

and you're telling them all they care about is their wallets? We're trying to get this show picked up. Shut the fuck up. So then Jamie Foxx goes, where's my t-shirt? Another 20 minutes goes by looking for this t-shirt. He holds it up and says, trust me on it. He starts walking around the stage

trust me this joke was mediocre the pilot was mediocre at best so it doesn't get picked up and

because of that because he shit all over me I don't know is there a connection it was just it was just awful did you end

it was just awful because it's like I wanted you know like you're saying I didn't think there was any other avenue but like Hollywood has to like give me because it's like i wanted you know like you're saying i didn't think there's any other avenue but like hollywood has to like give me a break and like let me you know did you envy jamie foxx for having that kind of a lack of self-awareness no i was mad at him i was mad i was like you have so much money please i just need this to go for like five episodes so

i can pay my bills you know could you ever see yourself becoming a guy who rocks shades indoors? 100%. Yeah, you could do it. I could see it. A little bit of power would be the most awful human being I've ever met. Just a whiff of it, not even a lot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Is there anybody who can like... I want to be the shades guy. Who can have power and keep it chill? Or does it always kind of make you i think if you have like like a terminally ill disease you could stay chill you know because you're just like this means nothing right that's a good point yeah well i hope i get it then when i'm i mean eventually we'll all be chill right the perma. That's what I call it. The Permachill. Mm-hmm. Doing that Permachill. Should we answer some questions?

Yeah. All right, let's do this. So, yeah, we give advice to, we call our listeners stokers. Are you rocking the, what is that, Panther? Am I not updated on my LS? No, I think it is updated. Oh, nice. I don't think I have that i'm not too sophisticated

is that like do you know ed orgeron no we might do something about around his football company he's hilarious he's like the funniest football coach in the oh he's a coach he's a character uh what if jamie foxx listens to this and starts crying like have he's like listening to this podcast you kind of look on his face he's like i'm so sorry i don't want to said that you do you i don't think you do you go do it again like you're doing a sketch yeah and you do like a line he likes goes do it again and then you feel like do it again yeah yeah which is not as funny right do it again and no one's gonna say like what do you do it no one you know was this like the emperor this is like right after ray oscar right right right like peak it was like why is he doing a sketch show it's kind of yeah it's

interesting interesting move do you watch his new show on netflix what was that he had like a sitcom or something i didn't see it. He's so talented. He's a really talented guy. If one of his projects fails, no one... I talked to Joe Coy about this when we had him on. He's one of those guys who's so talented that if something he does fails, no one dings him for it. They're just like, oh, they didn't put the right pieces around him or something.

Yeah, he's got equity. Sorry, dude. This might take a second. i don't know about this question dude like i thought it was going to be like quick earlier yeah i'm sorry dude it's all right it's coming it's coming what is it like like what oh it might have sent the text to you chad check your phone uh what are the questions like they're like it's mostly young dudes who are having like romantic issues and they're looking for oh I can help that I think I have good advice for kids looking for romance advice

are you having trouble logging into the email oh yeah you want to just give me the password yeah you know what I do that like this isn't a popular thing people when i tell people this they kind of look at me like i'm weird but it really does work if some girl

i'm talking to the guys out there maybe they're heartbroken they are if you get heartbroken by a girl and she's a bitch to you you you put them on the toilet. Oh, picture them there. Yeah, and know that that bitch takes a stinky shit every day and imagine it and get detailed in your head, and it will slowly de-hypnotize you that she's this perfect angel. It's a mind hack. Could that corrupt the whole thing? Yep, it's dangerous. Are you putting the shades on?

It's fucking dangerous. He's putting the shades on. It's fucking dangerous, putting the shades on it's fucking he's putting the shades on it's fucking dangerous dude Kyle let's go dude it works man do it again you do you Kyle you do you

do it again hey twitter world hey twitter world it's your truly what's this asshole doing with the twitter glasses on come on I think I was wondering if like in the replies there's one that's like really nice take I really like It's yours, Julie. What's this asshole doing with the two glasses on? Come on. I think I was wondering if in the replies,

there's one that's like, really nice take. I really vibe with that one. I think you're innocent. We also brought to you by the legends at Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trains peed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure their dinks are looking fresh and clean because you guys have got the lawnmower 4.0 and it can be found in the performance package 4.0 which is an essential purchase and it's available

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our shirts and stuff at shopcgd.com. That's shopcgd.com. Okay, back to the show. All right. Girlfriend calls out my tiny D. So we both have D. Ooh. Okay. Greetings, council.

I've come across a major dilemma with the GF. As an avid listener of the pod, I've proudly proclaimed myself a member of the TDC, the Tiny Dong Club. You guys, especially Relation Master Strider, listener of the pod i've proudly proclaimed myself a member of the tdc the tiny dong club you guys especially relation master strider have greatly improved my confidence in my lower unit i expose myself to the boys and remind them i've got a skinny short dick that comes quick that's quoting our buddy um it always gets laughs and i only get love and support from the squad many helicopters and manginas have become a party staple.

I've also known that agility and endurance during combat are welcome features that come with little pieces. I couldn't be happier. However, its comedic excess has encouraged my girlfriend to pile on while she's participating in the hang. When my lady agrees with me and reaffirms my dimensions, it hurts a little. Her tags and such regarding my dong kind of hit different since she is my lady agrees with me and reaffirms my dimensions it hurts a little her tags and such regarding my dong kind of hit difference and she is my lady i can barely feel it it's aerodynamic he can dance like a woman it's true but ouch you know rest assured the boys continue to support and laughter endures but i can't help but feel a little hurt when my SO joins in the TDC fun. Have I made a mistake by including the lady?

Am I wrong for feeling hurt? Have I dug a hole too deep? How would you boys handle the sitch? Love the pod. Of course, never stop. See you on the moon. Steve. First of all, he shouldn't feel regret.

It's out there. It happened. It's done. Let that go. You let her in on the jokes. Mm-hmm. That's just part. It happened. It's done. You know, let that go. You told her or you let her in on the jokes. Mm hmm. I was just part of the deal. Yeah. I would say that he should maybe try to encourage her.

Say, you know, be really funny if you said how big it is. Like, that'd be funny if you went the other way with it. And then she thought it was really funny to see how big his uh dong is and she thought that was funnier to be like then maybe she'd say that more oh so you think she's reacting to the crowd she's just trying to yeah she's trying to be funny so maybe if he finds a way maybe get his friends to laugh too like it's so funny when you go the other way with it i've been talking about having a little dick for so long now i think it's starting to make me think it's even smaller than it is i swear to god no it actually might

get smaller from your brain i talk about that yeah your brain's powerful i said to my buddy i think we're making our dick smaller by talking like this and and i i don't i intellectually don't believe in that stuff but i i like uh instinctively do kind of believe in that stuff Your soul does My soul believes in that stuff And so I think you just gotta start saying You have a big dick dude Yeah

I think you gotta go the other way And start calling your Cause you need balance He's probably like Displaying it in like a shame way Which makes Which brings it in Yeah

If you would sort of display it He's all curled up When he does anything Well he's He's created this identity for himself As the small Dong guy And he's all curled up when he does anything well he's he's created this identity for himself as the small dong guy and he's he's like he's basing his whole sort of sense of humor off that seems like in the in the crew and you know he's sort of you reap what you sow that's the danger in these things yeah if he changes it just goes with big asshole i have a really big

asshole he just changes the uh say something big. Yeah, because that's also funny to have a big asshole. I have a big, big asshole. You think my dick's small? You should see how big my asshole is. I've literally never heard a guy brag about that.

I've never heard a guy brag about how big his asshole is. I do all the time. I think we need that. Yeah, you'd never hear it. This is normal gooch. What's a gooch? It's the taint.

Oh, the taint. Yeah, yeah. It's a gooch.'s the it's the taint oh the taint yeah yeah gooch okay uh we talked about that too yeah it's regional yeah i think you comment on your gooch be like well my gooch looks like a vagina or something yeah yeah yeah just talk about your gooch a lot jason is his name steve steve steve you know You got a friend named Jason. I thought you said Jason. Do you have a friend named Jason with a... No. Okay, right on. I call my dick Jason.

What do you think if he dished it back to his girlfriend? Do you think that's off limits? No. No, I wouldn't go there. You have a big fucking vagina. It's like throwing a hot dog down the hallway. It's your fucking vagina's fault. It was tight with your mom.

My therapist was like, don't do that. That's because your vagina is tight yeah oh wow go at her and do that we're just joking around right but like you dagger see how it makes her feel yeah that'll check it real quick all right don't make her aware you want to joke around anymore yeah it's aerodynamic all right big vagina yeah it might open her eyes to what the sitch is. Yeah, and then when she walks, she's like. And then when she stops, you stop the whistle. Big vagina coming through. Look out.

It'd be funny to her, though. She'd be like, you created this whole thing. And he's like, well, now I'm pissed. Yeah. It's gone too far. It's over now. Yeah. Enough.

It ends now. All right, beef curtain. I feel like we helped him. I would tell him to talk about having a little dick less. It's a powerful thing to deploy at moments, but you don't have to do it 24-7. No. The power of the mind, be careful.

This one's from a female stoker. She says, sage female wisdom on boner probs. There's no cue here, though though she's just saying it's not a big deal if you jizz early and if you got a small don that's nice that is really nice you have good fans they're really sweet um hey twitter world i got good fans too one time i got a comment that didn't say murderer. What if he just leaned into it and started his tweets like the girls from My Favorite Murderer? And he's just like, what's up, murderinos?

Oh, got it. He just does reaction videos to My Favorite Murderer. Or just to like, what is that? Whatever. On holidays. Hey, Twitter world, it's my favorite holiday Halloween celebrate death

ghouls and goblins ghouls and goblins this is mid 30's new dad in search of stoke my dogs your reach is impressive and has reached

the eastern coast in Boston what up I'm reaching out for some advice I've entered fatherhood and have noticed my stoke tank

is on empty unable to attend weekend parties and after work brews with the boys, my life has taken a drastic turn for boredom. Warzone is my only vice as of late, and it's currently littered with hackers. It really is. It's a bummer out there. Any advice on obtaining some newfound excitement? Thanks, my dogs.

P.S. It's August 2021, and if Joe Big Hog Marisi hasn't crushed a fruit smash left, I've lost all hope for humanity. Kev. Hmm. Kev. He wants something to do? Well, you're a new dad, aren't you? I am.

In my mid-30s. You might have some advice for Kev. I mean, does he not like his kid? My kid fires me the fuck up. She's the best. I mean, I never cared about partying anyway. he not like his kid like it my kid fires me the fuck up like she's the best so i mean i don't i never cared about partying anyway so like i still have my hobbies obviously but like you got you got you do the pods and then you do softball yeah i still have my stuff he's gotta maybe work some

things out with his partner or whoever you know if they're together to find ways to still do his, to still do what he loves. He needs to do nanny. Nanny time is his time to party. Right. When they have the nanny there. Yeah. I think you should become a car guy.

Start working on engines. Start working on an engine. That's really good advice. Yeah. They can teach your kid that. I've always wanted to become a car guy, but I was just too lazy to learn about all that stuff but i think if if i could spend my time in the garage and just come in all greasy and just be like i'm gonna teach you how to like

change a tire one day can you bring your baby to places oh yeah like can you bring your baby to a shindig is that possible my parents would drag me everywhere i was at parties all the time yeah i feel like that was more common in the 80s yeah i don't know i think it might be okay just bring the baby bjorn you put in the front yeah then rage you're almost like a prop baby attached to your body yeah your bros would be fired up to see your baby yeah i think i think people like having the baby around if you put like shades on the baby and like gel the hair you know that's what they used to do when they'd all get drunk they'd like

draw on me yeah the first first sentence would be you do you you do you do it again do it again it's just weird that he and then that email he makes no mention of his child or his wife or well I worry about that if I had a kid I'd be like oh he sucks

kids already kind of look drunk and maybe if he'd get drunk with his kid that's bad advice next email

yeah journal about it too just be like I hate my kid and get it out get it out of the journal yeah as a kid finds it you're like oh fuck

when he's gonna be a dad be like hey read this fuck, man. When he's going to be a dad, be like, hey, read this. Be interested in this. That's how I feel about you. All right, last cue. Cue for the pod. This is a common one. Trying to exit the friend zone. Have you ever been in the friend zone?

Do you think it's a real thing? Okay, so we'll go. Sup, bros. Long time fan reaching out for some lady advice there's this girl that i've had the biggest crush on since eighth grade but i was too much of a pussy back then to ever make a move i like being so hard on yourself you're in eighth grade i was a 13 year old pussy she moved away after high school but now we've graduated college she's moving back to my area no matter how many other girls i've been with, my thoughts always come back to her.

I genuinely consider this girl to be one of my best friends, so I'm scared of making things weird between us. What do you think I should do when she moves back? Should I just come right out, tell her how I feel, and ask her on a date? No, no. I know that for a fact. Go ahead.

Should I play it cool and wait for something to happen more naturally, or should I just give it all up and accept the friend zone? Thanks for taking my cue, and I appreciate any advice. Keep stoking. Should I play it cool and wait for something to happen more naturally? Or should I just give it all up and accept the friend zone? Thanks for taking my cue, and I appreciate any advice. Keep stoking. I could help this guy. I don't know if I want to help him, though. Why don't you want to hear it?

I want to hear it. Because it's almost too powerful, my advice. Whoa. Yeah, be careful. Gotta be careful with it. You got some listeners, dude. You should put the shades on for this. Hold on. Yeah, throw the shades on, dude.

All right, step one. You don't say, you want to go on a date with me ever for the rest of your life. Understand that? To anyone? To anyone ever. You go, all she needs to know is that some other girl really likes you. That's the first thing you need to get in her brain.

That this other girl is fucking stalking you. And I don't think, if you have to pay someone, or give another woman a friend, and it's pictures of some hot woman, that's number one. And then this girl's gonna go,

oh, and then she's gonna start thinking about this guy in like that way. It can't come from him. You know, he can't be like, what do you think of my penis? It has to be some other woman who's who's decided he's hot yeah to break her mind like my dad never thinks my jokes are funny but if you see someone else laughing at him yeah he laughs he needs that third party verification yeah there's a thing where it's and it's not so much with men but with women

that they say i'm like if you have a dating profile, have a picture of you with a woman looking at you smiling. Those get like way more. Would that work for you? No. I hate when they have the other one. Yeah, but you're a special case. Yeah. That's nice.

She likes like serial killers. No. In general, that's good advice with the shades it was much more powerful I'd say I do think the advice was solid though that is like get her to think that another rolls into you

like personally yes because you know each other and then be like here's step two the shades are back she's actually really hot like she wants to like go ballroom dancing i've never done that do you know how to do that and then you put on music now he's dancing with this girl and she's teaching him how to be a good dancer for this other girl.

Pants dropped. I was thinking the same thing. You gotta talk about the other girls you're seeing. Yeah. This is a picture of her. I think she's like a model or something. You know, that kind of stuff. I think you're right. But it can't just be that.

He's gotta also make the rest of his life look like it's in a good place too right yeah yeah but he's gotta be okay with lying he's got a very much lighter in the beginning but he's lying for love yeah and that's okay she's the one who didn't find him attractive which is not cool of her that was always a big thing in the office when Jim at their wedding when Jim and Pam finally get together

he says I had Pam teach me how to drive stick shift and then he goes to his mom and he's like how long have I known how to drive stick shift she's like

your whole life basically and I was like whoa even Jim was like playing the game I didn't expect that and you want to put on like Celine Dion song when you dance

like a like a Titanic something that's from a romantic movie. Find out what movie she likes or what song. And be like, I have this song. Do you know how to dance to this? And then they're going to start slow dancing. Does it bum you out that you have to do those things?

I've never done this. I'm just giving him advice. So where is this advice coming from? I just thought of it. but i think it's good it's good stuff i like it it's a win-win it's a win-win because if you pay this girl to make her think she likes you and and and the the friend doesn't ultimately turn then maybe this girl that's an 80s movie that's yeah it's can't buy me love you got to get the both you know american pie too yep and it works and we have confirmation from jess too yeah that works when do you reveal It's a camp I may love. American Pie 2. So you got the both, you know. American Pie 2. Yep.

And it works. And we have confirmation from Jess, too. That works. When do you reveal to her that the initial... Oh, and then when you're dancing, you got to go, damn it, penis. It's facing. You know, you got to have like a heart on when you're dancing with her. You got to be mad about it. Oh.

You got to be like, I'm sorry. But it's mammoth it's like something you stuck in there normally yeah it's not real like one of those like paddles he's a frat well you have like a an inflator gun in your hand and your pants come way out and then she's gonna be like oh shit and then she's gonna be like oh he's attracted to me you know what i mean he's a virile dude but he's being like stoic and like chivalivalrous about it. I'm sorry about this. Oh, my huge dick. Damn it, this big dong. My big stupid dick just got so hard to get.

My third leg, it makes it harder to dance. Sorry about my big stupid dick. I'm ashamed of it. It's a different thing than you. I guess you just smell right or something. I don't know. You're just my friend. And then start calling her your friend and she'll be like, wait, what?

Get her all confused. Confuse her. Confusion is so key to attraction. And you could ask her for a drive to a date yeah give me a lift i'm gonna go you know pork that girl yeah probably gonna stay over so you don't have to hang around but then you get an uber right away back yeah hey can you come pick me up at the mayor's house i was having sex with his wife yeah i need a lift and then you're like hiding in the bushes yeah it's all, yeah. It's all fake though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just in your boxers. Garcetti's way?

Mm-hmm. Oh, and then you get, this is phase two. That doesn't work, which it will. You get like, you know, some, you pay some woman to be like kind of in like a sexy top or whatever. And have this girl come pick you up. And she's like throwing your clothes at you. Do you know what I mean? Like she's upset?

Get the fuck out. Fuck everybody. What do you know what i mean like she's upset get the guy everybody what do you everybody this girl pulls up she's gonna be like this guy that's my friend i know he's like everybody the the fact that he's making these people go so crazy yeah he's driving crazy like you have angry text messages like how dare you sleep with me like that yeah show and show her the text messages yeah yeah. She just sent me her pussy. She's so mad. She's so mad. She just sent me all these videos.

I don't know this lady. Like, five photos of her pussy. I think this is really good advice. Yeah. Send me a photo of her asshole. As I mentioned, it's almost too powerful for me to let it out. I feel like, be careful with this advice. I mean, follow up.

Do exactly as Kyle instructed and then follow up with us yeah but do exactly don't and wear Ray-Bans while you do it too yeah dude was there a moment on the pod

where you felt comfortable and you're like I can throw the shades on now yeah yeah I'm surprised they didn't come out

earlier it looks good thanks I like it next time you come on maybe we all wear them or just you yeah yeah

no all of us it'd be great yeah I like wearing shades let's have a shade shade day if we get people listening could wear shades that day come on maybe we all wear them or just yeah yeah no all of us would be great yeah yeah i like wearing we'll have a shade shade day if we get people listening could wear shades that day we can have it like it could be the thing yeah pod all right well i think that's it kyle thanks so much for coming out my pleasure we gotta do do some videos together yeah we'd love that too yeah yeah yeah we'll figure some stuff out that'd be an honor yeah we'd love that yeah yeah yeah we'll figure some

stuff out that'd be an honor yeah we're doing like experimental stuff so you know we'll just do OJ Obama we'll do

oh we should do one show that's all just I'll just do all African Americans it's called The Cancel Show we have Jess here

too who designed our logo yep did such an amazing job too and the original one and our website it's called the cancel show we have Jess here too who designed our logo yep did such an amazing job too and our website yeah the one on the comp so when we were doing our animated thing

they started coming back with artwork for what our characters would look like and they were really great but the initial ones were like super far off and we just kept sending them this and we were like just do this yeah like you nailed it so hard really yeah wow that's really good it's really great we love it all right guys thank you guys yeah thank you anything about plug my youtube channel it's kyle dunnigan backslash kyle dunn again yeah we're doing a lot of stuff there now live YouTube shows trying to get people off from Instagram

over to YouTube which is starting to happen because uh there's like no money in history there's more monetization monetization yeah and then you do a podcast with Kurt Metzger. Yeah, it's part of the channel. And Jeff's was on it. We do an after party. We just started calling it the after party. It was after the show. We had this thing.

It's turned into a sketch pod thing. Oh, hell yeah. Nice. It's fun. Awesome, man. Check it out, guys. I want to hear what happens with Kev. Who was that?

Steve. Steve. I want to hear what happens with Kev. Who was that? Steve. Steve. I want to hear. Steve was the little dick guy. Trent was the guy trying to make moves on his besties. On his friend zone, yeah. I didn't make a move in sixth grade because I'm a fucking pussy. He's been a little hard on himself.

I was like, you were 13 years old. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't even know what that move would have led to. Like, you're not going to marry or sleep together at that point. You know what is good, though? Is, like, guys who's, like, going for a kiss, you don't even know what that move would have led to like you're not gonna marry her or sleep together at that point you know what is good though is like guys who's like

going for a kiss you don't do that like first touch a leg see if she touches your leg back you know what I mean like they do like save touches

when you're young you jump yeah yeah yeah it's in your head you're like I gotta do this I gotta do this anyway

yeah you gotta feel the vibe a little bit now you know yeah wisdom with age for sure goodbye twitter world yeah it's a good place to end thanks so much thanks man guys check check are we rolling yeah uh should i do an intro well i was gonna say chad before we get into it before i ask you for your beef yeah i think we rolled into the convo with kyle do you want to hit the intro because i think people want it right yeah let's let's dive in um

why don't you clamp the nipples and get ready for the dom what's up stokers of stoke nation why does that make you laugh so hard i don't know it's so ridiculous to say look the dom's coming in soon, so clamp him. That is funny to picture. This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad JT podcast. I'm here with my compadre, Jean-Thomas. What up? Boom, clap, Stokers.

Just had a good convo with Kyle. He just took off. I should have talked shit during the pod, but we were playing chess, and I'm up a couple pieces on him. Oh, right, yeah. I thought, well, I thought he, when he came in, I was like, oh, he's an experienced player.

I thought he was going to be better than me, too. Yeah. Cool guy, though. Very cool guy. Hilarious. So funny. He's just, I've watched him on, like, Joe Rogan and Theo's pod.

He's just, like, he's just so naturally hilarious. He's really, really funny. He's a good hang. And his impressions, his Joe Biden's the best one yeah um Chad though what's your beef of the week uh my beef of the week is dudes telling you about how they do their dates um which is like I should specify it's it's not it's not specifically like they'll be like oh i go to like you know it's like oh we're going to get seafood or whatever it's when you tell them what you're doing and then they come at you with like why are you doing it that way and they make you feel a little bit insecure for example i had a dinner date last night 8 p.m my buddy's like what are you doing i was like oh i got a dinner date he's like what time like 8 p.m. My buddy's like, what are you doing?

I was like, oh, I got a dinner date. He's like, what time? I'm like, 8 p.m. He's like, oh, I do 6.30. And I'm like, why? He's like, early. And I'm like, is 8 too late? It made me insecure about my decision.

Dude, it happens. It happens all the time. You made me insecure. You came over and you were getting changed for a date because you've been on like 12 and 11 nights and then you came over yeah and you switched into some nice clothes and some boots i've never seen you you're like i upgraded my data tire i've been going out in like slippers right it's like oh shit yeah it's it's a it's a tough scene out there dude it's we're all very like aware of like you know like you you want to do

it in a way that's normal i guess we're in LA it's a gladiators arena it's tough it's just dudes are you know they'll find even if they're like your friend it's not like you or Strider who said it's another guy but it's like who's the guy I don't want to say do I know him

I think a little bit okay but they come at you with these subtle jabs of like, you're doing it wrong, dude. And you're like, fuck. What is that? I do that too, though. I'll do that. It's just competitive.

They're competitive. We're so competitive. Yeah. Especially when it comes to the ladies. Or dudes, if that's your preference. So you're saying just support your bros. Yeah, I think unless they're really, if they're doing a huge faux pas, I would say just, you know, be like, that's awesome, man.

Have a good date. I think that's the go-to. Just don't say something to make me feel like a complete dipshit before a date. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. That's my beef. I think the most important thing is to go and even feel good about yourself yeah just to sit back and enjoy the experience because i and i noticed too i get like anxiety before of course where i'm like kind of uh even if you yeah i get

kind of like you know those days where you're like having if you're like why do i feel like today is like kind of like like a burden it's like oh it's a date i got a date tonight i had that heavy this morning yeah i was like this day sucks the world felt heavy but then you get through it yeah then you get through a couple things go your way those are those are and i find that those are the days often where once you once you get through it you feel much better it ends the best and you kind of feel like you beat the day's ass yeah i was driving home today i was like yeah fuck you day yeah hey life i took it to you today suck it suck it dude yeah aaron what's your b for the week uh my b for the week is a real fucking bummer um

afghanistan no uh my b for the week is with prostate cancer uh my dog hudson uh oh no no dude oh yeah so it's a real fucking bummer um unfortunately they don't treat it like they do humans where they just like yank that thing out and um so we're just treating it he has arthritis so they were going to give him anti-inflammatories anyway so we're just kind of treating it with that and see how long it goes i mean and see and my neighbor gives us a bunch of cbd stuff so yeah sorry to hear that yeah so it could be five six months we don't know so like every time he goes to lift his leg to pee i'm like is this when he can't anymore and this is when we got to make a decision today was before i came

over it was kind of rough you found out today but he's fine no no like i found out like two weeks ago i'm sorry so yeah i've been kind of processing it and yeah i'm sorry figuring out how to tell people and not lower their stoke it's not it's part of life with dogs it's it's yeah yeah that's that's what the doctor said there she's like they break our hearts it's just what they do yeah i like that with my mom's dog, it's like I wasn't even living with her dog. But when I heard about her, you know, it's, yeah, dogs, because they're so innocent, too. Yeah. You know? And you just love them so much.

And they just, they have such pure love for you back. And hearing that they're sick or anything like that, it's just like. Yeah. It's really tough. I took him in thinking it was like kidney stones it'd be easy peasy that that's what the vet was like yeah that's what it looks like like probably just take those right out and he'll be good as new and then it's just like nope it's really terrible day and i had to go record a pot after that oh which thankfully was very silly and great so it's what i needed but yeah yeah it sucks i think with your love he's gonna hang on for a while he might you never know he could be completely wrong yeah i think yeah he's not completely wrong but like way longer in front of him yeah um my beef of the week is with myself. I did something that I think is not cool

and representative of a lot of the issues we have in the country at large. Chad saw G.I. Joe, Snake Eyes, which I was pumped to see. So maybe that was part of it, but still doesn't excuse it. And then Chad comes over, like he does all the time.

We hang out all the time. And he's like, I saw Snake Eyes and I didn't like it. And I go, what do you like about it? And he goes yeah i didn't think the cast was like believable as like badasses and i go oh because they're all asian and then you kind of were like what and then i was like and then you were like no no i just didn't think they were believable i was like okay basically calling you racist. Me and my brother get stoned.

Go see Snake Eyes like five days later. I'm five minutes in, I go, Chad's absolutely fucking right. And I love Henry Golding. I think that's his name, the main actor. He was crazy good and crazy rich Asians. I liked him in a simple favor. But I was like, you know, and maybe it was, the whole movie was bad. So maybe it was the editing. You know, they just was the editing you know they just picked the worst shots but he was overdoing it he was trying too hard and and then everybody was kind of bad in it and i i texted you during the movie and i was like hey

man i fucked up i was like and i should have i should have just trusted you and been like yeah like maybe chad just doesn't think it was the right people for the roles and um and you know like i've i've i don't i don't you know there's plenty of people who i've thought have been great in those movies who look similar to the people in those movies so yeah ken wants an obby and so i was like it was just kind of a i just felt shitty i was like i shouldn't have done that to you dog and uh And I'm really sorry. I think that's just not good. You've got to trust people. You've got to give people the benefit of the doubt a little bit.

I appreciate the apology. Thank you. For sure. I did feel very judged in the moment. I thought that was actually kind of a racist reaction from you to assume that. That's true. Yeah. Well, fuck you for that

no i'm just giving you shit no i know you're right um but thank you thank you for your apology i appreciate that that text meant a lot to me of course man of course um chad who's your babe of the week uh my babe of the week is uh my babe of the week is so my babe of the week is i was going to yoga and i go to santa monica and i park in this parking garage and i walk across the street and there's like a pedestrian crosswalk to get to the yoga place and i'm walking across and i'm like check check in first, you know, the car going this way stops and the car going this way is far away, you know, and I sort of like give a wave like I'm across the street.

Dude does not slow down at all. He's just gunning it and he's in like a Yukon, he's on like an escalator, a Yukon. Um, and, and luckily I was like far enough down the the crosswalk um that he wasn't gonna hit me but like i was like you're not gonna slow down a little bit like he just got through so i give him like a kind of like a what's up you know and he looks at me and he goes and he goes he gets even more pissed he went bigger on yeah he's like what's up with you and he like throws his hands up he's like fuck you and i'm like dude that was a pretty babe move of you it's just like just completely disrespect the pedestrian when you were in the wrong i was like i was really

sort of taken by his confidence and his you know just the way he reacted to me i was like wow dude it made me laugh a lot actually yeah you gotta understand that if you're driving like that that's just you're gonna get some of those reactions dude yeah that's just the way it is bro yeah it was pretty hilarious i was like wow it's like what do you think i'm gonna slow down bitch that's my babe aaron who's your babe my babe of the week is the uh untold malice at the palace documentary that was that good i haven't watched it yet it's so good i mean it's so like thorough in terms of like how it covers like you immediately start to see how the media covered it how they covered it all wrong like because it's it's fans essentially started it like

but yet they they kind of zero in on these these players and black players at large like calling them thugs and all this shit and even bob costas gets involved in it it's just like shut up um but yeah it's just really well done some of the guys who did wild wild country um i just found out so it's really good check it out super super cool and jermaine o'neill and i share a birthday oh nice i read the oral history of that on grayline but i'm yeah i know the story yeah it's it's i'm sure everything about it's great but this is all three guys are there even the fan the fan who gets punched in the face by jermaine o'neill running he's so lucky jermaine o'neill slipped before he threw that punch i didn't realize yeah in the documentary they're like he's lucky he slipped because he

missed and i was like oh i mean that punch landed he connects but like with the full force of him having his feet under him i think i always kind of thought he slid on purpose not on purpose but like i just always thought that was way cooler it looks badass yeah because he's just running and boom and he's seven feet but the guy the fan they interviewed who was the recipient of that punch still does not blame himself for anything are you serious oh wow he wasn't it's not like i always thought he had courtside seats he came down onto the court to fight a seven foot man you're a professional athlete these chubby fucking i don't know what they are italian dudes or whatever uh no they're not they all look like turtle from entourage yeah exactly yeah yeah so it's just like what are you thinking and i i haven't watched it yet but most

of my empathy in that situation was for the players the one guy i feel bad for is the dude that run our test wrongly thought threw the beer on him and then he just rolled up on some yeah it's the guy next to him yeah he just punched the wrong guy that guy comes off terrible obviously too like they they don't interview him for the doc but they show all the footage of him the dude who hucked the shit yeah yeah he just has no remorse for his dumb ass yeah yeah it's crazy i i didn't know, like, part of the reason that Ron and Ben got into, Big Ben got into a fight was because Ben Wallace's brother had just died, so he was, like, super emotional.

There's always rivalry there anyway, but, like. And they're too big. They're about the two toughest dudes in the NBA at that time. It's crazy. That was insane. My baby of the week is my friend Kat. I went to Montana to visit my dad. And the first night,

my friend cat who I haven't seen in a while, but we talk on the phone like all the time. And I know her cause she's my dad's ex girlfriend's goddaughter. And we just like clicked when we first met and like, we've remained friends and she's just the best. She's hilarious. She's super dynamic. She's super fun to hang out with.

And always is like a, just someone nice to talk to. And that first night we just got bombed together and went out on the town in bozeman and we had so much fun we went to like five different places and we were just i don't know ripping and roaring and and uh we're both really outgoing so we're mixing up with a lot of people and she ended up bailing on me at the bar because i was like talking to a girl and she said she said goodbye but she didn't i struck out super hard i was doing that thing where you're kind of standing next to someone not talking and they're not looking at you and you're kind of waiting to see like well are you gonna come back and talk to me but then you stay too long for like an extra minute and

you're like i just gotta walk away and then you kind of walk away and then i went to find her and she was gone i called her i was like yo you ditched me i was super hammered and then um she's like i gave you the signal that i was leaving and i was like no you didn't you ditched me she's like well sorry i thought you were gonna close bitch and then i was like yeah and then i went out on the sidewalk and just laid down and then two fans of ours came up they're like jt and i was just laying on the sidewalk in bozeman and they're like are you good and i was like drunk i was like no i'm really good i like, I'm just chilling. And yeah, we just had so much fun. And she's the best.

She's just a great hang. That's awesome. Yeah. Who's your legend of the week? My legend of the week is kimchi. It's my new favorite food. Have you ever smelled kimchi? Mm-hmm.

It smells like shit. It smells horrible. It smells like someone took cabbage and took a piss in it and put it in a jar. You don't eat food unless it smells bad. Exactly. Yeah, so I got it like two years ago. Because everyone's like, kimchi, kimchi, that's the good stuff. It's superfood.

Yeah, kimchi. You know, you go to Venice, that's like every conversation. Kimchi, kimchi. So I bought it but i would open the jar i'm like i like i'm like i can't even smell this shit like how am i supposed to eat it but then i started i just had some and i was like oh it's actually kind of good so then i started liking it acquired taste and i was like i started to eat it a little bit more now i'm like i eat like every day i'm like addicted to it i just love it it's like tangy and stuff and then like the idea that it's like really good for you just fires me up it's like it's like the total package you just got to get past the dog shit smell and then then you're just like yeah kimchi yeah yeah and now i'm a venice

guy just like oh yeah kimchi yeah beast yeah pretty fired up on it i think you were destined for that doc kimchi thanks man yeah shout out to korea or japan wherever korea korea nice thank you for that cultural insight aaron who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is odd it's amanda knox she was almost my beef really because of the tweet thread i i know my beef wasn't almost my beef. Really? Because of the tweet thread? No, my beef wasn't her. My beef was everyone being mad at Matt Damon and the director McCarthy. Okay. But go ahead. Go ahead.

Yeah. She put out this big tweet thread in reference to the movie. She's not my beef. I feel horrible for what happened to her. In reference to the movie Stillwater because it's being touted and and matt and at least the director in articles is like the articles that are being written are like part of the public yeah they're like saying it's it's an amanda knox style you know plot premise or whatever and she's like you know this whole tweet thread is like 50 some odd tweets but it's like yeah guys i didn't do it so like this isn't an amanda knox thing like this is like uh this the guy who actually did its thing

and i'm just the victim here and i guess in the movies you know she yeah we don't want to give it away but she's a little more culpable yeah yeah so it's like it just it was just very enlightening and and i can't even imagine being in an italian prison for two or four years potentially like she was and convicted twice i think but then exonerated um just insane that she went through all that and she's still like having to fight to kind of clear her name publicly it's like i, I'm not, I wasn't a murderer. Like I didn't do anything wrong. Like I was falsely in prison, falsely accused.

And here we are making a movie about something like me. Well, it's not like me at all. Cause I'm still, I'm an innocent person who can't go on with my life because of this. No, I feel for her for sure. I mean,

what that poor girl had to go through is terrible and, and I'm glad she's out and i understand why she's upset but then i'm like like it's such a big story of course things like that become yeah they all everything becomes fodder and there was a law and order about it like that's what i mean like law and order like svu everything is pulled from some kind of headline and then i think she's just upset about being part of the marketing and then i had had friends who were like, I'm not going to see Stillwater because of that. And I was like, well, are you not?

And then the same person who said that loved I, Tanya, but then that really, and this is me really connecting minority report like dots. But I was like, yo, like I, Tanya totally exonerates Tanya Harding,

but there's evidence that suggests she was in on the thing on Nancy Karen. There's more evidence that suggests she was in on the thing on Nancy Kerrigan. There's more evidence that suggests she was in on it than not. Like she called someone asking for her practice schedule. Yeah. And, but no one's upset. No one's like the memes that are out right now too, about my,

my summer plans, Nancy Kerrigan. And then Tanya Harding is the Delta variant. Oh, I haven't seen that. they're so good. See if that makes more sense to me. And then I'm like,

I'm like, everyone was so stoked that Tanya Harding got this story that kind of made her look like innocent or almost like the victim in the whole thing. And I'm like, if like, if you twist reality in a way that we like, we're all okay with it. But then if it doesn't fit with how we want to think about things, we're like, no, you can't do that. I'm like, all right, well, are we just going to do away with any kind of revisionist storytelling? It's like. Yeah yeah i don't know but i think just putting her in the marketing is so wrong it's like that that's the part where like the director and matt damon shouldn't be using they should have well they should have

clarified like well this isn't based on her because she didn't do it right just one qualification all you got to do is that whether or not the article cuts that out i feel like they're both good guys i don't think they met yeah i don't think't think. I listened to Matt Damon on WTF like days before I read this. I listened to him on four different podcasts. I love Matt Damon so much. I love him. He seems like a down-to-earth guy.

I think he would go on her podcast if they got connected, which he offered. He's probably got to go on some gay gentleman's podcast first. You didn't see that thing? No. You saw that thing. You didn't see that thing? Liberace say you saw that thing you didn't see that thing

liberace has a podcast no matt damon came out and said he only stopped saying the f word a couple months ago because his daughter told him not to oh which i think he does he throw that around in the movie too no but i always i assume when i saw that dude just don't do i say that if i was his homie i just pinch his elbow and be like nah dude just tell me that in the car right yeah yeah you got a live mic and i mean that is good it's dumb it's very dumb but uh it's an honorable attempt at wokeness yeah it's definitely yeah and i love matt damon i love matt damon i think he's a treasure you see bill mars thing of yeah i like to leave matt damon alone i like that damon, Bill Maher's show's great. I love Bill Maher's show.

My legend of the week is my dad. So my dad is a beast and I went out to visit him and he's just all forward. Like, you know, my dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a couple years ago.

It's a tough one to get hit with. And, you know, it's not that he's like, I thought when my dad got it, he was going to get like really spiritual and gentle, but he's not that kind of guy. You know, he's pretty rough and tumble. He's bull in a china shop. He's more bull in a china shop now.

And he has tons of great friends. And I saw a lot of them. They're awesome. He's really, you you know hard on his sleeve very like generous and very you know he wants to be close to people and i think it's a really good thing um but i asked him about one of his old buddies i was like yeah you still hang out with that guy and he goes no no no here's the thing about that guy jt he was just always jealous of me because he wanted to be me and guess what he can't and that's the truth with a lot of people

and that's not bragging that's just the truth i was like that might be the most intense bragging i've ever heard but like i don't know i think it's well learned and i love it so i hope he keeps it up uh for uh forever and uh yeah he's just a beast so i love you dad it was good hanging with him uh chad what's your quote of the week my quote of the week comes from the movie Tombstone with Val Kilmer and Kurt Russell and Sam Elliott. Bill Paxton. Bill Paxton.

Jason Priestley. Billy Zane. Oh, yeah, Billy Zane. Michael Biehn. Powers Booth. Sorry, I'm just... It's a huge Sam Elliott. It keeps going. Wait, what about a bill paxton do we do paxton paxton powers booth yeah uh dana delaney so my my quote comes from uh val kilmer's character doc holiday i'm a huckleberry and he says that too and he's about to to draw with someone. It's pretty awesome.

Yeah, Johnny Ringo. That's a classic line. Johnny Ringo. Played by Michael Biehn. I'm a Hucklebee. Say Wayne. Say Wayne. Thomas Hayden Church?

Two guys from Aliens. Bill Paxton and Michael Biehn. Billy Bob Thornton's in there? That's right. He's super fat. I didn't realize that was him. I didn't either. Yeah.

I had no idea. You gonna sheet that pig skin or are you just gonna bleed or something like that? Are you just slapping him? I didn't either. Yeah. I had no idea. You're going to sheet that pig skin or you're just going to bleed or something like that. You're just slapping him. He's a bully. He needs it. Aaron, what's your quote of the week? My quote of the week could have been in Tombstone, quite honestly.

It's Steven Jackson. He's walking down the hallway after the Malice in the Palace. Giant sports brawl. The whole fucking stadium is involved. 20,000 people like 13 dudes uh he comes out of the he's walking through the hallway he sees a guy filming on video he just goes we ride together it's like yeah we do like i'm i play on a bunch of sports teams like fuck yeah like it sucks to fight people but it's like you know you don't hit our guy and then it happened

we almost had a brawl that end our softball game really this week yeah who started the brawl kevin no no no no not not the men's not not thursday's men's team this was my co-ed team we had a girl fucking smoke a ball yeah she she had a triple easy third base coach is like, stop. She's like, in her head, she's like, but this home run will be the cycle. So she goes for it. Thrown out by five feet. But the dude at home, tags are super hard. Like, man on woman, like, go a little easy. You got the out.

You're fine. Then he starts cursing and spikes the ball at home plate. Like, pumped up? Like jacked up? Yeah. Meanwhile, we're beating them by 13. Nice. That guy got broken up with a week ago.

He's wearing, he's one of those guys, he's wearing number 69, so you know he's super original. Oh, dude. But, you know, this girl's boyfriend, who's one of my best friends, is on the team. He comes flying out of the dugout wanting to fight this dude.

I've never seen that kind of energy out of him before. He was insane. And the umpire just like, they still had it at bat. They were the home team. But the umpire was like, game over. We're done. And a bunch of people came over and apologized. That's awesome.

Do you ever yearn? It's up for people do you ever yearn for an opportunity to like get a situation where you're with your wife and you have to you know square up against to be like that's my we kind of had that early when we were dating like some guy was trying to goad me into a fight at a softball game like an older guy like kind of probably late 40s yeah and i was like 30 i'm not saying i would have won but i've felt that ape that primal primal thing yeah but i just thankfully just walked away but like i don't yearn for that necessarily like where she gets offended and i gotta step in or anything like that yeah Yeah. I'm more worried she's going to do something that I have to step in that I know I'm not going to win.

Right, right. But certainly I'm always on the lookout for her. Like, you know, this kind of just goes with the territory. Yeah. And she doesn't always get that. I'm like, yeah, I'm three steps ahead of you looking out so you don't get hit by a car or whatever. Nice.

Protector. Walking on the sidewalk, yeah. You're a protector. But, yeah, I don't get hit by a car or whatever. Nice. Protector. Walking on the sidewalk, yeah. You're a protector. But yeah, I don't want to fight anybody. At this point, I'm like, I have a kid at home. Please don't hit me. My quote of the week is from the ESPN book I'm reading. Those guys have all the fun.

It's all the fun. It's an oral history of ESPN. It's a good read. So this guy is producing the World Cup in in 94 for espn and their cameras keep going down their systems aren't working and he gets so mad because it's such a big deal to him he punches the uh like the production truck that they're in he breaks his hand and this so he tells the whole story it's like 10 paragraphs and then he goes uh so yeah my hand's broken and i walk back to the truck still overseeing the whole thing with my hand in the air with a bag of

ice. When I got home, my wife had no sympathy at all. She just said, you just take this television shit way too seriously. We're no longer married. Whoa. Whoa.

Wow. It's so funny in the context of, cause it's, it's just quote after quote after quote. So you don't see like, and so you're just reading this thing and you're like, Oh, it might be good. His wife said that he goes we're not married it's like

because everyone who worked at espn like to work there you had to be obsessed with sports yeah so everyone there man woman whoever was there they were like their whole life was just talking sports and it's just so funny to me that this guy was like she didn't get it we're no longer together wow um that's talk about not knowing who you married too like yeah it's probably on him yeah oh yeah on her right yeah like you married this guy who you know is obsessed with sports and works on tv like yeah yeah it's like i could see where it works where like if i was like freaking out over some comedy stuff and someone's like hey it's just comedy but it could go the other way where i'd be like just comedy like this is my whole life, dude. Yeah. Bitches cracked me up.

This guy was like, she doesn't get it. We're no longer married. Chad, what's your face? Let me forget after it. I thought she said that, though. No, he said that about her. Oh, I thought she. Oh, no.

Sorry. You're right. I should have broken up the quote. No. The quote is you take this sport shit way too seriously. End quote. And then he said, we're no longer. Yeah. My bad shit way too seriously, end quote. And then him saying. Oh, he said we're no longer married. Yeah.

Oh. My bad, dude. I was like, holy shit. In the moment she said that? That's why I was wondering about your guys' reactions. You guys were like, whoa. And I was like, is that that bad? And I thought it was funny that he was saying we're no longer married.

Right. Oh, yeah. Like after the. Yeah. Yeah. End quote. I should have ended the quote. No.

And I didn't change my inflection. My bad, dog. And dudes, also on my brother's episode, I totally blew my top four actor list. Are you still thinking about that? Dude, Sean Penn is my number one pick. What was I doing? He didn't even get picked.

He wouldn't even got picked. You know, I think you're attempting too much to be original. I was trying way too hard. I overthought it completely. I got a new one. Jack Nicholson,son tom jack nicholson instead of sean penn tom cruise heath ledger philip seymour hoffman i think that's better oh that's fire thanks dude yeah i really that really covers everything i really fucking blew it dude that's funny you're still thinking about that dude i was really disappointed in myself i was like sean penn dude look on your face when you were saying

sean penn you're like wait till you got because you're like this is a little bit out of the box and it's gonna like kill and i think you that i think you knew you're like oh fuck my brother was making fun of me goes dude i asked you what your favorite movie of his was you couldn't pick one he's like you couldn't even think of one i was like yeah i said state of grace i was like yeah dude what were you doing that's funny um yeah that was that's when i hate podcasting that's around forever um chad what's your phrase that we forget after it uh my phrase that we forget after is um dude i got a sticker of kevin on my phone that's it seriously shave the hair off that it's brody he does have serious brody energy he does

aaron what's your phrase that we forget after my phrase is the same as my quote we ride together i love that my phrase that we're forgetting after is uh chad was super nice and came down to orange county on saturday to help me do like some photos on a horse i had this idea for doing photos on a horse and so my mom's friends with this uh dude in san juan capistrano i feel so bad he's a great guy but i forget his name my mom's friends with this horse you're right that'd be cool too uh but uh he's like a real cowboy he does a rodeo and he does the healing and now he's got a horse that's better that's better at doing the healing.

He used to do the head of the steer when they were doing roping. He's like a proper, proper dude on a horse. And so I get on the horse and we do some photos and it's all pretty low key. And then I'm like, well, you know, I'm like, Chad, drive all the way down here. I'm like, let's shoot some stuff for Chad. I'm like, what do you got in your car? He's like, I got my surfboard. I'm like, I'll do, we'll do a funny thing where it looks like you're riding a horse

to the beach, right? And we're all like, yeah, that surfboard. I'm like, I'll do, we'll do a funny thing where it looks like you're riding a horse to the beach. Right. And we're all like, yeah, that's cool. That's cool. Jack gets on the horse, super game. Then we hand Chad the surfboard.

Dude, that surfboard gets in Chad's hand. The horse goes nuts. It goes ballistic. It starts bucking, legit bucking. Oh shit. And I know it was legit bucking because the cowboy went, it's bucking.

And then the thing's going like, it's like got its hind feet in the air. And Chad's riding it well. He's like posting. And then he's holding onto the surfboard. And for like 15 seconds, me and the dude are just sitting there, stumped face, like, what's going to happen here? But we're pretty calm. We're just like, this is crazy.

Chad's just riding this bucking Bronco. And then finally the cowboy just like, this is crazy. Chad's just riding this bucking Bronco. And then finally the cowboy just goes, drop the board. And then Chad was being a legend, was holding onto the surfboard the whole time. I've never seen it. I've never seen a dude on a bucking horse,

hold onto a six foot surfboard. It was really a once in a lifetime. Get the shot dude, get the shot. And I was like, I was like, and then so Chad drops the board and they just take off around a corner. And then I'm like, Oh, I wonder what's going to happen over there. I walk over, Chad's off the horse. He's kind of breathing. You know, he's like, I was like, and then so Chad drops the board and they just take off around a corner. And then I'm like, Oh, I wonder what's going to happen over there. I walk over, Chad's off the horse.

He's kind of breathing. You know, he's like, well, that was crazy. That was crazy. And then we're like, all right, maybe we'll calm down the horse and we'll get back on there. And then the guy gets on the horse and the horse starts bucking him. The dude's like amazing at riding. He's in one stirrup.

He's on one stirrup on the side. He's a big dude. And the horse is bucking and he's totally calm and he wrangles it. But he just looks at us and he's like guys like no more photos or video today me and chad are both like yeah for sure and he's like he's like the horse had never seen a surfboard before so it thought it was like a saber-toothed tiger but it was really chad was like he just found a new career he was really riding that thing and dude one hand on those stirrups one hand on the board

for at least eight seconds which i think is how long you got to ride on bronco and i remember i remember around the corner he's like chad you okay and dude i went around the corner and because it happened so fast because like you guys were sort of i think it was just shocking to all of us because you're sort of like it was just so fast i was like and the horse was so chill before that yeah we were all just like it was just sort of like you're like it took like a while to process and then i was finally like oh fuck dude like this is not a good situation and so then it runs around the corner and i'm like sort of like oh beat we're out of

the stirrups you know and then it's and then it's there's one part where it's like sort of like bucking a little bit and i'm like should i try to get off now should i drag up and i was like no no and i just pulled on the reins i was like whoa finally it calms down and i get off and i was just like and then it looks over she's like yeah i surfboard. I was like, this is not a good idea. Yeah, the guy said, the cowboy said, he goes, yeah, he's never seen a surfboard before. He thought it was a saber-toothed tiger. And I was like, oh, interesting. But yeah, so my phrase that we're forgetting after it is drop the surfboard, which I didn't even think was the problem. But when he said it, I was like, oh, genius.

Yeah, of course. I didn't either. I think I was just like, all right, this has got to stop soon right right i was like oh just something about chad's vibe they're just working it out and then he was like he's like drop the surfboard i was like oh that makes perfect sense yeah yeah but yeah it's my first week freaking out yeah it's probably like almost as big as the horse like he's like whoa and it's got pointy edges and stuff it looked pretty scary if you're an animal yeah good experience though yeah it's got pointy edges and stuff. It looked pretty scary if you're an animal. Yeah.

Good experience, though. Yeah, it was fun. Like a shark hovering over it. What's up? Like a shark hovering over it. Yeah. Whoa. Good thing I didn't have this photo of Kevin on there. Yeah, no, you can't put a schmole on a horse.

No. That's another phrase for another day. All right, dudes, I think that's it. All right. We've got places we've got to hustle to. Let's hit it. Thanks for listening, Stokers, and right through those reviews. Thanks to Kyle.

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