Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 210 - Joe Marrese Joins
Episode Date: October 27, 2021What up Stokers! This week we have the big hog legend, Joe Marrese. He's moving to Austin, Texas next week. He'll be back on the pod but wish him well in his journey! Get 20% Off and Free Shipp...ing with the code GODEEP at mansacped.com
Transcript
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here with my compadre jean thomas what up boom clap stokers and we are here with uh
the legend himself the hog master jim reesey what up yeah thanks for having me back it's a pleasure is that a reference to the last
episode yeah you mean when you tried to ruin my career yeah no dude i swear to god it didn't work
by the way that that was not my intention i swear to god and it was uh i think i was not smart but
my intention was i was like okay joe's taking this stand and it has all these consequences.
Sure.
But no one's going to see him taking a stand.
I was like, this makes it seem like I was like, I might be making myself like I was trying to help too much.
But I was like, I was like, Joe will come on the podcast and people will really admire him for not compromising on his.
Well, they did.
Yeah.
I just didn't know the other half.
Yeah, there's two sides.
I expected, I guess I thought there'd be more support
for both sides, and what it turned into
is a lot of people were just angry at the other side.
Yeah, that's what happens.
Yeah, and I'm sorry I did that.
It's all right.
How you been?
Not that good.
I've been okay.
I don't know.
What makes you say that okay i don't know yeah what makes you say that i don't know i'm just uh you know i'm getting ready to move so i'm just stressful kind of yeah i'm just kind of
anxious about that and just kind of want the it's kind of a tedious long process and i'm just trying
to i want i'm ready for it to be done yeah well moving to a
new state is probably like you know because they say moving is one of the most stressful things
you can do yeah but moving to another state are you driving or are you flying i'm flying yeah my
car yeah i sold my car are you getting everything shipped no everything's um. Oh, okay. Oh, so you're just starting afresh.
Facebook Marketplace.
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah, like all new furniture, new bed.
I got rid of most of my clothes because I only wear, you know, 25% of them anyway.
So do you have so few shirts just because you love doing laundry?
Yeah, I'm a big laundry guy i know i did it more today how often do you do laundry uh at least once a week no you do it at least once a day you do laundry every day well see it i lived with you
for the new place i'm gonna have i've got an in-unit washer dryer.
That's going to be running all day.
Yeah.
How long have you been doing, or how long, what was I going to say?
When did laundry become a passion of yours?
You know, I like staying on top of it.
I don't like a full hamper.
What does folding laundry do for you?
It's just a task, and it's good to do tasks
no dude it's like billy crud up at the end of almost famous when the kid asks him what does
music mean to you and he goes first off everything yeah laundry means everything
and it's been that way for a few years now do you pop wood yeah you know it's been that way for a few years now. Do you pop wood? Yeah.
You know what's been making me pop wood lately
is I've been putting mushrooms in my coffee.
Not magic mushrooms, not psilocybin, which I'm down with,
but these are Laird Hamilton's mushrooms.
And it's like chaga and lion's mane.
That makes me pop wood.
What kind of mushrooms?
Chaga and lion's mane great names they're like
supplements yeah do they sit on top of the coffee or that you put them in then you mix them in but
it kind of just settles at the bottom and you drink it all at one in one go at the end but uh
they're they're like amazing that's cool he gave me i got i had some one day actually i bought some
yeah have you tried them i haven't done it yet but they're awesome dude also i wanted to surprise you on this episode by eating beef
liver before we did it but did you i haven't had a chance yet do you have it no oh damn but i want
to eat beef liver that's my thing yeah i want to eat beef i should have just waited but i can't
hold a secret in my life beef liver smells bad yeah doesn't it i thought you i saw you eating it once
you probably saw chad eating it oh yeah you yeah yeah yeah why you guys do that i'm used to it now
because it boosts stoke have you ever eaten beef liver no i've heard it nice oh you guys we have a
oh yeah we gotta we gotta make note of this yeah aaron's not in studio today. Aaron is in Portland for a wedding.
You're missed, Aaron.
Not that you're not great, but we haven't done one without Aaron in 150 episodes or so.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, wow.
Except that Emma actually subbed in a couple times.
Well, it felt more sentimental the way I first said it.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
But yeah, do you want to introduce yourself?
Hi, my name is Chris Lund uh the regular producer for community service
nice uh check it out youtube all platforms community service with craig conan great guy
dude you have a great voice you have like a radio voice yeah i hear that a lot it's very it's like
it pops in the mic yeah these are great mics too dude but the beef liver we were hanging out with some carnivores
people who only eat meat they were super nice yeah and uh they were like the beef liver was
too hardcore for them right yeah i expected all of them to be i was like hey chad eats beef liver
you eat beef liver he's like i don't touch this shit well sean sean baker yeah yeah who's been
on the pod yeah and uh but yeah which was
interesting because i'm like i'm like yeah man the beef liver i'm into it he's like i don't eat
that shit because he like he's a carnivore guy he eats steak all the time but he's kind of
he he he he's down with like i i i sort of believe that like grass- fed and whatever is like what you should eat and he's kind of like
no
he's not backed up
that's what Kevin asked him about
Kevin was there and Kevin was like
what you guys' shit's like
and they were like they're good
you think they're lying
yeah I need to see
that's pretty hilarious
maybe I should have been more suspicious
but do you actually they i kind of just took them at their word yeah they look like they were
functioning they're all fit yeah but so sean just eats ribeye every meal what ribeyes are good
i wonder how many times i could eat it in a row before my body would start rejecting it
just out of like familiarity for Not good for your heart?
His heart, I mean, he gets like scans done
and he has a healthy heart according to the test.
The theory is, is that actually the cholesterol,
first the cholesterol is actually not that bad, right?
That there's other things that are more indicative of heart disease.
Yeah.
And the things that are bad for that are actually like grain and sugar
and stuff like that.
Oh, okay. yeah and then all and the things that are bad for that are actually like grain and sugar and stuff like that oh okay but but do carnivores not like
it must be like a hierarchy right and like vegetables are like under meat for them and
then bread's like six notches lower right yeah i think so but i you know i tried carnivore last year probably what was it like
two or three weeks and i i'd you know more power to them i mean sean's great guy super nice guy and
he looks fit it looks healthy but that's just not for me like it's literally the only time i've seen
you not have energy i remember when you came into wherever we were at that day yeah and you were
like kind of hang
dogging it well that's why that's why um i i sort of think that the grass fed organic because i was
eating just like in and out patties and and that was the day i saw you i just felt sick
and so um that's the quality of meat's gonna affect yeah yeah yeah because i was i was like
ah that organic that's some bullshit but now
i'm like i'm like maybe there's some truth that but now i'm just like i you know going on a strict
diet like that it's just like exhausting i think yeah it's it's yeah i don't know and i have no
idea what actually like works you know but like i feel like i think there's all it's got to be
different for every person right to me you know there's probably some diets that are better overall.
Yeah.
Just like they'll work for more people than the average diet.
But like, I'm like, some people are allergic to peanuts.
Some people aren't.
Like everyone's bodies are a little bit different.
Totally.
Yeah.
Like maybe if you're from Scandinavia, that's like perfect for ribeyes all day.
Yeah.
But maybe if you're Colombianian like you need some fried plantains
in there arepas somebody yeah my dad's still after having been married to my mom for like
25 years he still calls him a rapist and i'm like have you not but you know i just don't think he
wants to waste the energy he's like look it works the way i say it I'm just moving on Yeah Yeah Dude what else Joe?
How are you man?
Yeah I mean I'm just chilling
I'm just uh
Are you pumped for the Texas lifestyle?
Yeah
Yeah I'm ready to
I'm ready to rock and roll
Do you have boots?
Do you have a cowboy hat?
No
Why haven't you got
You don't want to be festive?
Well yeah
I can get them there
You are going to be in Texas
I don't think they sell them here
What are you most excited for In Texas? Uh You don't want to be festive? Well, yeah, I can get them there. You are going to be in Texas. I don't think they sell them here.
What are you most excited for in Texas?
Just living my life again.
It's hard not to get political, right? Because I've really done nothing the last almost three months now.
You just mean work-wise.
You're out all the time.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I don't feel any, like I'm getting anything accomplished.
I'm very, yeah, it's almost like a self-imposed quarantine.
What, I think you're going to thrive out there.
I can see being a big Texas guy.
Yeah, I think so too.
And yeah, I'm just excited to get there.
Are you going to get a gun?
I don't know. I'm not a big gun guy do you like shooting guns never shot one really you never shot a gun yeah
i never no i have i could see you shooting one just be like yeah yeah i would definitely try it
i just yeah the opportunity hasn't come up you can't see that i can't see joe as a gun guy right yeah it's yeah
it's not really my thing i think you'd be like put that away why would a yeah no but i mean if
i support the right to have one i don't you but you already have a gun in your pants yeah between
your legs yeah so you've shot a gun that'll protect big old howitzer yeah yeah so you you've shot a magnum before
oh for yeah broken magnums yeah talking about your load yeah do you if this podcast has given
you one thing because you know i want to be sentimental because this might be the last one
well yeah i don't know when i'll be on again yeah i don't know when hopefully soon yeah well i don't
know i'm gonna visit you a lot in austin well we're gonna do a pod there yeah we'll do something all right but i'm gonna go once a month
but uh yeah right i'm gonna do it dude i like austin um maybe not once but that's that's the
ambition wait what was i gonna say oh yeah if this podcast has given you one thing is that when we
first met you you had shame over how big your dong was like it was like a
secret to you and now you're known internationally as a guy with a huge dick and you own it yeah
it's awesome yeah there was a guy that came up to me he had like an irish accent last night he's
like big fan big i can't i'm not gonna do the accent do it yeah it's not good he's like big fan big I can't do the accent do it yeah it's like Joe
big fan I hear you and going deep and I love that I'm sorry it was a nice guy I
don't think he'll appreciate the accident yeah yeah so international as
you said did he mention no he didn't say it but i'm sure he's heard and
um no i didn't i wouldn't say i had shame i just was kind of modest about it i guess
you just didn't talk about because i know it's a good thing so but yeah i don't i don't brag
so but yeah thanks for getting the word out on that because you're the one that told the entire
world wait so uh you've had can we talk about your love life you've had some ladies in your life
sure yeah late you've been even uh laying down the wood uh not not lately the tree
it's been like almost a month now. Yeah, because the one girl I was seeing, we're still friends, but we're not like hooking up anymore.
And apparently like last night, you know, I missed out on getting my balls licked apparently.
Jesus, dude.
Why your balls?
No shaft? No, I just, just no i like it all licked but
she was like all right all right not licked but sucked not why did you even flex so hard on
no because she goes uh we were hanging out last night and she's just like
uh she's like she just asked me she's, do you like your balls sucked on?
I'm like, yeah.
She's like,
why didn't you,
and I was like, yeah,
why didn't you ever do that?
She's like, you never asked me to.
Shouldn't have to ask.
That's why I'm moving to Austin.
Did you have sex last night?
Is that what you're saying?
No, we didn't.
We didn't have sex.
But you hooked up,
you were with a woman
in a way that was,
you know,
I shouldn't even rush to the sex.
You were with a woman that you're attracted to and you guys were sharing space yeah that's
fine i mean we're just like i don't know what does anybody do out here any anymore it's a nightmare
dude yeah i know what is going on so i'm going to austin but you know what i where i don't have
to ask to get my balls sucked will you relax sorry i just know it's okay it's okay i'm sorry i'm
i'm too much of a prude um yeah it's like yeah you're the biggest perv here sorry yeah i am um
you don't know like other people are so complicated you never know if they're acting
in good faith and then but i'm doing the same thing too it's just like uh
it's a pat benatar song well because she's also now like
she's like trying to be exclusive with she's like seeing this other guy and they're like
not hooking up with other people and it's like she still wants to like hang out like we were when
but we're just not hooking up i'm like you don't think that's weird everyone out here has got it
just get your life together because that so you hanging out with her
what what's weird i don't i i told her i was like isn't that weird that we're doing this
right like hanging out if you're like trying to be exclusive with this guy and she just like
no we're friends and you know i have so many guy friends so what do you text her to hang out or does she text you uh both i don't know i text
her because i'm you know she's been a good friend and has also had sex with me a bunch of times so
someone like that is a good friend so i I want to keep in touch with her.
That's nice.
Yeah.
She's cool.
I really like hanging out with her.
Yeah, she's great.
And yeah, I just am like,
I just feel weird if you're like with a guy.
I don't know.
It doesn't sound like it's like that serious of a thing.
I think she's just like,
we're going to try only hooking up with each other
and well you'll know if it's weird when you if you do meet the guy i'm sure you will at some point
um i think you have to right if she just keeps hanging out with you guys independently for a
long time i think that it gets stranger right yeah well i mean i'm leaving anyway so that's
part of the oh right that's the other thing too i don I don't know if I was staying here, if we'd even hang out.
Everything's got that added thing of, oh, I'm leaving in a week,
so I'm not really – I'm kind of not – I'm not trying to overanalyze.
Yeah, you don't have to make as big of a decision on stuff.
Yeah, who I'm hanging out with.
When it's definitely temporary.
Yeah.
I was going to say you could tell if it's weird when you meet the guy and you look in his eyes. Like, you'll be able to see in his eyes if he thinks it's definitely temporary yeah i was gonna say you could tell if it's weird when you meet the
guy and you look in his eyes like you'll be able to see in his eyes if he thinks it's weird like
there'll be a way he looks at you when he goes to shake your hair over like if he's like this
yeah it's weird or if he's trying to hide it you know like he's trying to act like it's not weird
he's like but you can see the pain behind a smile all right i'll take it but if he's like this what's
up dude yeah it's not weird if i
had a new girlfriend and she's like i've had sex with joe and we're friends i'd be weird about it
yeah exactly i'd be terrified yeah i show up to your door with like an axe yeah and i'd be like
come out here yeah and fight me yeah it will be you or i that will be with her but i will not
share her yeah yeah i'm not gonna have a girlfriend that's like i'm gonna go hang out with my friend that i was just fucking a month ago especially you
because you guys it was that recent you because you got fucking redwood tree yeah i i mean yeah
i would i don't think i could do it yeah i don't everyone it depends though but it it has bothered
me everybody just wants to have their cake and eat it too. But you think that's an LA thing?
Yeah, I think that's another.
There's so many things that are just exclusive to this adult fantasy camp,
which is basically what we're living in out here.
I mean, that's really what this, not all of LA,
but at least this Hollywood, West Hollywood area.
What do you want when you go to Texas?
I just want
a regular
I just want to date someone
that
doesn't need other guy
friends. I can do it all.
I'll have sex with you.
We'll be friends.
We'll hang out. We'll go shop.
I'll do everything you want to do.
Let me do it all you know they say
that that's actually when i i mean this too like they i don't i don't think that work you can't
put that much weight on one person like you know curvana gets said when in some african tribe when
he used to marry you're not just marrying one person you're marrying their whole family like
their whole extended network yeah yeah because it takes like hundreds of people
to have a good relationship yeah no i i mean as far as like i guess not have i just want
i know i know i want to be the man in her life i guess that she's known carnally
would you be good with her having a guy friend that she hadn't been intimate with?
Yeah, I guess if it's like.
But like, I feel like in most normal places.
Like at a certain point, people of the opposite sex, like your friends, you're trying to explain this well your friends through like each other like uh
i don't know i know i'm gonna think about what i'm saying and get back to you
like trusted friends you mean like people you've like verified and and that you've met together
like they're kind of like no it's like so if you have married friends like you're friends with his wife because you're friends with him like you you
know these people through other relationships like i'm not gonna be i'm not gonna have a a wife
that's like just gonna go hang out with a guy you just mean like you don't want her to be friends with like djs yeah that makes sense but i don't know i'm trying to so
okay so you're moving to texas what's the plan when you get out there the plan is well i'm gonna
have to get a a job which sounds weird so i'm gonna have to get uh some other maybe a valet gig you'd be good at
that yeah i mean because i'm making a little bit of money with my pod with my podcast joe code right
now but i need to you know it's not enough yet. Where are you going to record?
Yeah, I got to find, that's going to be actually my first order of business when I get there is find a little studio and get that going.
And where, so you got the podcast and then do you have any shows lined up?
Are you going head first?
No, I mean, I'll just, yeah, I'll get into the stand-up scene soon.
I'm sure you already have Connects out there, right?
Yeah, I visited there, and yeah, there's comics that I know,
and then a lot of comics that used to live here that moved there.
So yeah, a lot of connections.
lot of comics that used to live here that moved there so yeah a lot of connections and but yeah first thing i want to nail down is where i'm going to record my podcast and pick up a part-time job
and then dive into the yeah i miss doing comedy yeah i'm excited for you thanks yeah yeah we got
to go down there and rage dude yeah go to like fun what's that
they have like a quarry a ravine what is it do you know what i'm talking about there's a river
it's like a river but everyone lake they go to it like a beach though right yeah oh that's cool
i've been to it once yeah because colorado rivers it's one of those very wide rivers so there's
parts of it that get really wide
and they call that part the lake.
Nice.
But it's a river. It's not a lake.
I want to go there and get a Texas donut.
Is that a thing?
I don't know. They're big donuts.
I think they have big donuts.
I'm thinking like pancakes or something.
Just something big.
That's a bigger hand.
Big Texas. I'm'm gonna go there and
and enjoy the bigness of texas which by the way that that fits you yeah yeah because you got a
big cock yeah yeah maybe everyone's is really big there though and then you might just be
average hog joe yeah no longer the lone cock well the lone cock competition is going to increase my
friend yeah you're not
going to be around these that's little dick pro vaxxers anymore you'll be around a different
yeah stripe of man uh are you going to do joe eats at all the brisket places
yeah i'll have to bring back some joe eats and yeah for sure hit up some of those texas hot spots and i think you're gonna flourish dude
stick some meat in my mouth i think it's gonna be awesome yeah i do think you're gonna back
in time well yeah i mean i'm just i'm excited to like i said i feel like uh like i haven't
like you feel like i like working and being accomplished.
Like, you said I've been, yeah, I have been going out a lot.
And it's, like, lately I feel like I usually like to, like, earn going out.
You want to put in a good day's work and get things done and then, like, go have a beer.
Like, I've just been having beers and I just do laundry. And, oh, I worked out today.
Let's go get fucked up.
Yeah, it's nice having a schedule. Let's go get fucked up. Is it?
Yeah.
It's,
it's nice having a schedule.
Cause you do feel like,
yeah,
when you don't have a schedule,
like we were always busy,
but we had days where like,
we wouldn't have anything during the,
you know,
and now we're on like a schedule.
And so on the weekends I'm like,
Oh,
it's Saturday or like Friday.
This is my night to drink and cut loose.
And then I just have to be ready for Monday.
But when you have days where you don't have anything,
it's like noon and you're like,
well, I could technically have a beer.
And it's not even that I drink more in those circumstances,
but just the not having,
just stressing out about what to do
when I have nothing to do
is like takes up a lot of energy.
Like just sitting there thinking about what to do
and what not to do
and like what I'm stopping myself from doing
is like energy.
Well, yeah, for about a month,
I was going out on like mondays and
tuesdays and i just it's hard to find that i started drinking a lot it's hard to find that
happy medium because it's like yeah because for me i like to work a lot but it's like uh
and yeah and then well it's funny because it's just that's just the way it goes like you want
to work a lot and then you start working a lot and you're like i want like time off and it's like how do you find that happy medium is there a happy medium i
don't know i sort of like dangling the carrot kind of thing of like putting in a lot of work for a
set amount of time and then you you know let the you know bust out yeah that's been your plan
because when we've been talking like i hear you talking to other people too you're like i'm gonna
go on like a trip or i'm going to go to this concert.
You got this big thing dangling at the end of it.
Which is oftentimes more fun than the actual thing.
Which is like the fantasy.
We're working on this big thing right now.
I fantasize about getting a big thing of cinnamon toast crunch.
That's sort of all I think.
If I'm stressed, I'm like, you ct crunch coming up for you in two weeks
two weeks yeah yeah because you've been strict on the diet dude i've been strict you look good
though oh thanks man so do you that's it thank you um that's again revolutionary road that
fucking horribly sad movie with kate wins and leonardo capra that i recommend no one watches
but i'll give you a good little moment from it now, is their relationship gets better because
they're miserable in their suburban life when they decide they're going to move to France.
Yeah.
And then it becomes clear at some point, like it'll never happen for them.
They'll always kick it down the road.
Yeah.
But when they could imagine that they were going to France, they were like super happy.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Just the prospect of France.
Totally.
Did you guys see the new Halloween?
No, I haven't been to it.
Did you see it?
Yeah, I liked it.
How's that guy still alive?
Dude, good question.
Because he's just...
Evil incarnate?
Yeah.
It was good?
I liked it.
I saw a lot of people that didn't.
Who was that?
I don't know.
I'm just reading these Facebook comments on it.
I thought it was good.
You go on Facebook?
Yeah.
I've been on there lately a lot with Facebook Marketplace.
Oh, right, right, right.
We were just talking about Facebook.
I hadn't been on in months.
Yeah, who goes on Facebook?
Yeah.
People trying to haggle me down from like $15 to $10 on a little bin.
You know what's nice about Facebook?
As you go on there, it's just birthdays and births.
Yeah.
You know, but I never go on.
But then you just see people you haven't seen in a while who are nuts,
and they're having kids.
Yeah, yeah.
You're like, so-and-so had kids.
That's crazy.
And then you're just like, whoa.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I thought it was cool.
Because the original, did you see the original one?
Yeah.
1978?
Yeah, and actually I watched that on M&M's.
What do you meanm Street last week.
I like John Carpenter a lot.
Not because I've seen his films, but I appreciate his reputation.
Did you?
I heard the soundtracks are good.
Have I seen the original?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I watched Nightmare on Elm Street last week.
Oh, nice.
Whoa, dude, you're hitting all the classics.
Yeah, the original Sheriff is in the new movie.
That's awesome.
Yeah, he's like 90. What the word sheriff really great i mean it's cool that he's in it did you see the french dispatch the new
wes anderson movie that's a loving homage to the new yorker no is that out now oh really
yeah it just came out i think it came out this friday oh cool yeah i've been watching a lot of
movies lately though would do you like wes anderson
movies yeah i'm not one of these big wes anderson guys but i think people just like saying wes
anderson that's a good point but yeah but his movies are good yeah what do you think what's
like a wes anderson guy what did that what does that make you think he's like a royal he did what
royal tannenbaum yeah but the
kind of guy who would like wes anderson what kind of guy is you i thought you were gonna like grow
up and make fun of like basically a los feliz type and then well yeah also that you just pinned it
on me dude oh do you like him i do yeah yes you do it's a good. When people try to haggle you on Facebook, what's your response?
I just give in because I need to get rid of the stock.
You don't respond, just no?
Yeah.
What's the best deal you got on something that you were surprised by?
You're like, oh, I can't believe I got money on that.
That's a good question.
Let's see.
Well, the dinner table, I couldn't believe like 30 people messaged me about that.
Really?
Yeah, I got 50 bucks for it.
Is it the same one we've had?
Yeah, the wood one.
Wow.
Yeah.
That might have been what we paid for it.
And then I'm trying to sell the refrigerator that you bought.
Good residual value.
I'm trying to pocket the money for that, if you don't mind.
No, dude, take it, take it.
But yeah, yeah, I I gotta sell that fridge I want 80%
no you left it
loser
I don't know
I had a mini fridge right
and then when Joe moved in he brought his mini fridge
and we just stepped on top of each other
yeah we had a double mini fridge forever
I thought it worked, I liked it.
I loved it.
I thought it worked out well.
And then I started dating someone
and she was like, you have to get a regular fridge.
And I was like, don't stress me out.
And then she just bring it up, bring it up.
And finally I got a new fridge
and then I got a new coffee table
and she just kept hitting me with,
and it wasn't a big deal,
but like, I just don't like talking about that stuff.
And I remember one day she was bringing it up after we had a really fun night
and I was like, from now on we can only talk about these things on Wednesdays.
I can't keep getting tagged with home improvement stuff.
Yeah.
Nice girl, nice girl.
That's what I say about anyone now.
If I say something rude about someone, I just say nice guy, nice guy,
or nice girl, nice girl afterwards.
Yeah, it's a good save dude have you seen um uh megan fox made like a list of like i don't know what the list is but it's like it's like you know it's like crystals
blood you know blood something it's all this weird shit that they're into. Right. But right in the middle of the list is organic smoothies.
I got to look at the list because it's pretty hilarious.
Dude, I saw something that made me respect Machine Gun Kelly.
I already liked him a lot.
I like his album.
But, dude, he was on Sports Nation.
Oh, yeah.
You know how they had that punching measurement thing?
It's like an arcade game and you, like, punch a ball
and then it
it swings up into like a slot yeah yeah it tells you how hard you punch well like number one on
it's like rob grinkowski number two is like an mma fighter machine gun kelly you know with that
elastic power he's got smacks the thing and he got first place he beat grinkowski no i swear to god
so my grady my buddy grady showed it to me
um and uh there's a video of that yeah he's always got it cool the good intel and i was like
it made me totally reassess machine gun kelly i didn't know he had that kind of fast twitch power
yeah we saw him at that baseball game remember that oh yeah yeah and then strider said that he
thinks it was fake he thinks sports nation f it. So they can have like an upset top guy.
Yeah.
An upset person at the top of the leaderboard.
Dude, I also, I think I got another hot take.
Although I haven't had a first one yet.
But I think water is fattening.
Like bloating?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
I think I drink too much water.
You have to drink too much.
I think water makes you fat.
That's why you got to do hot yoga. Just burn it out of I think I drink too much water. You drink too much. I think water makes you fat. That's why you gotta do hot yoga.
Just burn it out of you.
Then you sweat it all out.
Nice.
I've taken down my water intake, and I think I feel better.
Yeah.
I've heard that.
I saw a YouTube video of a guy, Dr. Eric Berg, who does have some controversy surrounding
him now because his son says he's a Scientologist, and there's a lot of, you know, like, whoa,
Dr. Eric Berg's a Scientologist and there's a lot of you're like whoa dr eric berg's a scientologist a lot of weird shit anyways he is like the whole
drinking eight glasses of water a day thing is just hogwash so i don't know what's he recommend
well he's like he's like you know people are like oh your body is made of 80% water he's like it's not water
it's electrolytes
and so
I think
I don't know the specific points
but he's basically just saying that the science is skewed
you know it's like
you don't need that much water everyday
which I agree with because I'll drink
a lot of water and then I just start peeing
non stop and I'm like this can't be right yeah stop drinking water guys yeah don't drink water my
friend who's an er doctor says that the number one reason people come into his er is because
they're dehydrated and it's exacerbating their other issues i think my friend's a liar
i'm talking to you dr holt no i'm kidding Yeah I know who you are But I do I think you gotta drink
Electrolytes
I think that's what it is
Right
I think
I think if you drink
Electrolytes
That's way better
But I had a phase
When I was drinking
A lot of bone broth
I didn't realize
That sodium
Just like blows you up
Yeah
But you like bone
Yeah dude
I was drinking
A shit load of bone broth
And I'd see like
A photo of myself
You want some of this
Bone broth
My face is huge
I'm like whoa
Do you think to be an expert Or being like Especially insightful person see like a photo of myself. My face is huge. I'm like, whoa. Do you think to be an expert or being like especially insightful person
about like a certain psychology,
you have to like have struggled with that psychology?
Like to be like really insightful on jealousy,
do you think you have to like feel jealousy deeply?
Do you have to be someone who suffered from a bad case of jealousy?
Or to be like good at talking about self-esteem,
do you have to be someone who like suffered from like crippling self-esteem
maybe not crippling but like bad maybe yeah yeah i think you have to have some experience
right yeah because self-esteem yeah i've never understood people who were just like who just
are confident they just like grew up confident you're like what is that yeah and do they even
know what that you know because that's probably just from parenting, right?
I think so.
I think oftentimes I think the people that I knew who were like that were really good at something too.
Right.
It was like they were like a stud basketball player.
So they just like kind of were at ease with themselves because they were like, no, I'm like legit at something.
Yeah.
And then I was like, I'm not legit at anything.
Yeah. I was like, I'm legit at anything yeah i was like i'm
legit at being legit but that's tough yeah that's a real you got to be really legit to be that person
yeah i guess like scientists they could explain jealousy and be like it's these chemicals and
it's because of this like evolutionary function yeah and i'm like that kind of makes sense to me
but i'd rather hear someone or it totally makes sense to me but it doesn't help me as much as
when i hear someone who's like really gone through it yeah and that doesn't explain the experience too right they're
just talking about chemical reaction in your brain but it's like they don't you know yeah they don't
know what that's like but i'm sure they do because most people experience jealousy maybe not scientists
yeah but or when they lose out on a Nobel Prize or something.
They're probably like, I knew about neurons way before that person.
And oftentimes they do, and they just don't know what they're looking at.
Joe, have you ever experienced dong envy?
Do I envy dongs? Ever?
Yeah, I mean, I've seen some where I'm like, I wonder if mine's that big.
And I hope that it is.
Yeah, like, are you capable of having insight on having a small penis considering your life experience like does that
does that feel like a privileged like do you feel like too privileged to talk about that
wait what like because you have such a big dick you know do you feel like you could
really give insight to a small penis person on how to
deal with that i don't know i don't think i could i think you proved my point fire yeah fire fire
in the house joe you just set this whole fucking thing on fire nice would you rather burn to death or drown to death?
Wow.
Probably drown.
I think so, too.
Fire's worst?
Actually, I heard that drowning might be worse, but fire's just so gnarly.
Yeah, I don't want to do that.
Lund, what do you think?
I don't do either.
I'd rather drown, I think.
Damn. Are you a fire guy? I think I don't do either. I'd rather drown, I think. Damn.
Are you a fire guy?
I think I'm a fire guy.
You know why?
Because if you're drowning to death,
you can't talk about it while it's happening.
If you're burning to death, I just like to talk so much.
If I'm burning to death, I'm like,
I'm on fire!
Someone get me out of here!
I'm gonna die!
But do you think you could talk
if you're fully on fire?
Yeah, you don't have to be talking. Yeah, you can talk if you're fully on fire? Yeah, you're not going to be talking.
Yeah, you can talk if you're fully on fire.
I only know from movies.
But people in movies always scream when they're fully on fire.
Yeah.
I hope that's not disrespectful to people who have actually been totally on fire
and were mute and unable to speak.
I just assume that it would get in your throat.
Fire in your throat?
Yeah.
I assume, right? Like when you drink 151 or something or like
a flaming dr pepper or something like that i've had dr peppers and i could talk pretty soon after
wait what's that something good it's like it's this drink that you make and then you light it
on fire and it's supposed to taste like 7 11 no it's supposed to taste like Dr. Pepper. 7-11?
Is that like an alcohol shot?
Yeah, it's like a big, you know, drink.
It's like a... It's cool.
It's in that same class as like a...
Where they make that cheesecake factory?
A rusty pole stand, you know?
Or a hot pin nail.
Those drinks. Or a titty twister
i'm just making drinks up yeah titty twisters you wouldn't do it no i'm not gonna do that i
don't like doing that i hate it i never i don't think i ever did that with people
titty twister let's get out yeah you're a good guy you're not the kind of guy who like sack taps
and like yeah i don't yeah but we were sack tapping each other for something the other day okay
it was fun but you like it look at your smile well i thought he was gonna i just let him you
keep coming at me yeah coming, coming. Big load.
Dude, what if you meet, like, a new crew in Austin?
Oh, no.
And there's three of them, like, Meech, Adam, and Strider.
And they all look alike to us.
What are you going to do?
Yeah, like the Bizarro.
Yeah, but instead of doing, like, surfer shtick They do like cowboy shtick Oh god
Yeah it'd be fun
Joe don't do that
Well
Hey I'm CT
Think you should come hang out with me and my friends
Think you'd be a fun addition
Joe you got a big hog huh
That's the big hog Joe right there
Yeah
You're resident big hog expert on the podcast today
So I was on a date the other night
And this girl was just giving me mixed feelings.
I'm sick of it.
What's up with girls these days?
Joe, tell us about the bail end on your cock.
I had this kind of deep thought the other day where I was like,
all addiction literature is from people who were addicts.
Is that every rustle in your cabasa?
Yeah.
I mean, in Austin, I don't know how many people actually talk like that.
That was pretty broad caricature joe what do you think you're gonna develop a southern accent are
you gonna start saying y'all a lot no i don't say i don't want i don't like saying y'all
dude i could see you come back come back with a cowboy like y'all want some cocoa puffs
i mean i would i would wear a cowboy hat.
I'm bald.
You look good with a cowboy hat
and with cowboy boots.
And I like flannels.
Dude, you know what else I realized?
What?
You're going to leave to Texas
without ever having had a fruit smash.
Well, I mean,
why do you have one here?
No.
Oh, man.
I thought you had a whole stash of them.
What if your new Texas crew is drinking Fruit Smash?
Oh, shit, dude.
Are you going to drink Fruit Smash with your Texas friends?
No, because I'll say I have to have one with you guys first.
You promise?
Yeah.
How to balance life expectations.
What's up, Tokyo drifters and cultural shifters?
My question is, how do I balance self-visualization and having low expectations?
I know you guys have talked about these topics separately in the past,
but I was wondering if you guys ever thought about them together.
In past episodes, JT has said that he lied to another person about getting a job
and using that to motivate himself to actually get it.
I have done that.
And you guys have also talked about having low expectations
to help you guys live in the moment and not get crushed
when things do not work your way.
Any thoughts on the best attitude to have?
In general?
Yeah.
Well, the Stoics say prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.
I don't know if that's Stoicism, but their whole thing is like...
It's a saying.
Yeah, it's a saying, but their whole thing is like...
It's like...
Well, they kind of...
The Stoics always talk about visualizing the worst thing that could happen,
so you kind of are aware of it.
Yeah.
So if it does happen
it doesn't take you by surprise yeah yeah i think just trying to stay present and enjoy each day
and just i always i always think whenever i've had the best time it's always been when i'm like
today i'm gonna have fun like today with whatever i'm doing i'm gonna have fun i think that's a good way to
approach things because it's just simple and i think it you know over the course of time creates
a fun good life yeah would say you joseph i i didn't really follow so he doesn't know if he
should because he's worried if he's like always like self-visualizing things and thinking about
like what he wants that it's gonna like make it hurt more if it doesn't happen so he's wondering
if it's actually better to like not think so much about what you want or like the consequences of
your uh choices and and search so that like you'll actually be surprised by oh he's trying to be more
present that's very hard to do yeah that's basically what he's saying, I think.
I would have high expectations,
but don't beat yourself up if it doesn't go your way.
Yeah.
I just wouldn't like,
just be like, oh, as long as you do this so basically,
did you do your best and stuff like that?
Well, like, you know,
especially if you're working towards a goal,
I think it's important to have those goals and to think about it it's like think about what you want
and be specific but uh just thinking about it doesn't get you there you know it's like
when we're doing the open mics a ton it's like i just love doing open mics and if you i think if
you have that mentality of like you know it's like you love making progress mics. And if you, I think if you have that mentality of like,
you know,
it's like you love making progress towards your goal,
but you,
you focus on just the small wins each day.
I think that makes everything much more enjoyable and it gives you a better
chance at achieving your goal.
Yeah.
I think that's true too.
Cause he's,
cause the specific thing he said is how do I balance self-visualization and low expectations it's like well yeah don't self-visualize too much like the
reason people recommend that is because people don't ever do it yeah but it's like you shouldn't
be doing that all the time you should be taking action and like yeah doing the thing you're
visualizing yeah yeah yeah just go do shit a lot yeah it's like uh dave girls dave girl said
for musicians where they're like what do i do and do? And he's like, just go play live.
Just go play live and every performance,
give it your all.
Yeah, simple.
That's it.
Male strippers.
What up, Stokers?
Much love and respect.
Question, do you think it's a requirement for male strippers to have big dongs?
Nice.
Also, do you think Joe has ever considered
a career in the male stripper industry?
That's hard to picture.
But it could be great but
i just don't see you being comfortable with it yeah i can't really dance i don't that was the
part that i wanted yeah i would be hard with that i mean i could just i mean i could just
shake my cock around but i can't really dance but yeah i think they should have big dogs yeah
how would you shake your cock around? Would you helicopter it?
No, I just kind of up and down, thrusting.
Yeah, I don't want to do the helicopter thing.
My mom told me that there's a... Like a spinoff or something.
That's a funny way to start with my mom.
But I think they are mostly big dong people.
But I bet you there's one small dong stripper in every troop.
You know what I mean?
Because there's women who like a small dong stripper.
I think you have to be a really good dancer then.
And yeah, that guy's got like fire personality and like really good dance moves.
Yeah.
He's like probably the nicest.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's got to compensate.
But we did a small dong march today.
I'm going to talk about it later.
But like my mom said that in Columbia, like there's a saying that a lot of people say where they're like you know small
dick guys are a lot of fun and like big dick guys are lazy basically bullshit yeah sorry i didn't
mean that to disparage your community yeah i didn't even think about that yeah think next time
my bad man i didn't mean to offend all Alright long sleeve shorts combo Just need your guys opinion on a situation
A couple of girls in our squad said
That they think that wearing shorts with long sleeve tee
Is not a good look
This is big
This is a staple fit in a few of our lives
During spring early summer early fall
And it's got us worrying that we aren't looking our best
Do you guys think this is a bad look
I really
When he said it has them worrying
that they're not looking their best you cannot have that mentality ever your style is your style
okay and just because some lady tells you she doesn't like it you know what you need to do
you know what will make her respect you more is if you double down on it and you rock that always.
Do not change your style and start, you know, becoming like a J.Crew poster boy.
Do not do it.
Wear your, I love that look.
The shorts and long sleeve.
I don't.
That just fired me up.
A huge surprise.
Well, I'm going to jump in here before you should oh no you go you
go you go yeah i just i i never bought in respect well because i mean maybe a hoodie with sure but
like yeah okay i don't like the can you do the movie do if you had to shake your cock around as a stripper i think it's better if you uh wear long pants and
a short sleeve shirt right i think that's the best combo i think that is but i think this though i
think i think girls like not liking that outfit yeah i think it's the kind of outfit where they're
like i hate how my boyfriend always wears that but guess what that boyfriend always turns into
their husband yeah like solid guys wear that outfit.
Like if I see a guy with a long sleeve shirt and shorts, I'm like, that's a dad right there.
Yeah.
And of course you complain about what a dad wears because dad's dressed boring, but they're
dependable.
That's why you like them.
You can trust a guy who wears that outfit.
Yeah.
So let her pick on you because she likes picking on you about it.
It's better picking on you about that than one of these, know tank top and pants guys yeah those are the
guys you got to worry about you know hooking up with your hairdresser and stuff like that
chad who is your beef i can't stop looking at you chad who is your beef of the week uh my beef of
the week is the midnight wake up and i mean mid space night wake up, uh, because we've been working
on this thing and, and, um, uh, I've just had like a baseline level of anxiety that's made it,
you know, made sleeping a little bit more difficult, especially sleeping through the night.
Um, and a lot of times when we have like a big thing to do, I'll sort of, I'll, I'll, you know,
I'll go a bit like 10 and i'll wake up at like
midnight i look over the clock i'm like fuck it's the worst and it's like an hour later i'm just
like go back to sleep it's the worst feeling ever i hate it so much yeah it's just a straight up beef
tossing and turning in your bed at night in the middle of the night when you have
a big day is probably the worst feeling of all time it's really stressful yeah and you're sitting
there going come on go to sleep go to sleep and then the thoughts turn from go to sleep to what
if i can't fall asleep and that's when you're just like in crazy town you're like holy and
you keep yourself up yeah yeah about it and i i've sort of i had that a little
bit last night and i was like i'm sort of getting to a point where i'm like i'm like well i know i
know i'll be fine because before i was like if i only get like two hours of sleep i'm fucked
but now i'm sort of like oh well regardless i'll be fine you know uh because i think i think that helps too
you'll get a phone when you wake up at that i don't look at my phone that's good yeah but uh
it's uh i'm getting you know what i you know i've watched this guy matthew walker or whatever
talk about sleep and how important it is and i think that's counterproductive
because now i'm stressed about sleeping enough right yeah he's like if you don't get seven to
eight hours you're gonna experience like long-term health issues and you're like shut the fuck up
yeah it depends on the person yeah you professor of dick yeah uh because now i'm stressed about it it's funny he's like i bet
you in his personal life he's not sleeping that good yeah yeah he does look like he sleeps well
actually he does probably the way he's just like he's got this smile this face is like
what a beast yeah he's sleeping good yeah yeah just wakes up he's like
that was so nourishing yeah yeah oh every morning wow every day is
perfect just has like a nice cup of coffee they're just smoking a little bit he's like
yeah so i'm gonna go scare more people today yeah joe what's your beef of the week uh
yeah my beef of the week is with Kevin. Ooh, get real.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the schmole guy, as we call him.
Yeah, this needle dick has been ignoring me.
I mean, I haven't tried to, but he's basically, we're not speaking,
and we haven't talked in like a month.
And he basically told me to go fuck myself in the nicest way.
Like if you tell someone, I hope you find the peace that you're looking for, that's what he said to me.
That's basically fuck off, fuck yourself, fuck cocks.
He's trying to, you know.
Yeah.
I honestly...
So I have a beef with him now.
When I talked to him, he, in his mind, felt like he sent you a really nice text message.
How?
I get where you're coming from, but I do think he.
What are you crazy?
I told, I asked him.
No, I'm just saying that he thinks that.
How?
Because I asked him, I said we should hang out before I leave.
And then he sent that.
There was no acknowledgement of, yeah, let's get together.
Yeah.
How is that?
What are you talking about?
He's full of shit then.
No, I hear you.
Yeah, you do hear
me i uh dude it's tough i mean that's why like you know the last pod we did together it's uh
you know we're all fighting about these things that aren't really have anything to do with like
personally you know what i mean it's like it's like how we feel about larger yeah i mean well
that's the thing it's like what he's like mad at me for has nothing to do with us being, you know,
we've been like best friends basically for the last, I don't know, five, six years or whatever.
So it's like if you're not going to talk to me over this, it's like, come on.
But he's chosen to go that route and it's it's it's really
disappointing and i feel sorry for him i hope you find the piece you're looking for i found my piece
he's the one who needs peace i'll give him a piece of this here's a piece it's you know what's crazy
to me though what is that and i love you both to death
but i can't believe this is the first fight you guys have had in six years no no i mean we've had
we've had other things but never to like this level i guess i don't know he's
yeah no we've had yeah i mean we've had little
but it always winds up being very minor.
This is...
Yeah.
But yeah, I guess this is our biggest fight.
I think you guys will make up eventually.
Yeah, maybe.
No, there's no way they stay mad at you.
They're going to make up.
It's on him at this point.
I've reached out.
He's the only person that's iced me out.
I talked to everybody else.
We're still friends with everybody.
We're going to broker it.
Next Saturday, y'all are going to be in the same room together.
Maybe.
And y'all are going to fight.
And then y'all are going to make up. Yeah. And I'm going to say y'all are going to be in the same room together. Maybe. And y'all are going to fight. And then y'all are going to make up.
Yeah.
And I'm going to say y'all.
All right.
Well, I'm sorry, man.
Yeah, it's okay.
It's crazy because there are reasons to not be friends with someone over ideological differences.
You know what I mean?
Like, it'd be weird to be friends with someone who had certain beliefs.
Yeah, someone's like pro-murder.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I could see you not wanting to be friends with that person.
But yeah, on this thing, it's hard to suss out yeah like i do think friendship is probably
but you know we fought about it like crazy too it's like uh yeah i mean we didn't really fight
about it we just disagreed basically i don't know i wouldn't say we even fought um all right my beef
of the week is um with the james bond movie some light
spoilers here guys light spoilers i'm not taking away plot or like something like that but this
might matter to some of you so skip ahead three minutes um no less than that uh james bond in the
new bond movie doesn't really fuck
He has sex with one person at the beginning. It's his girlfriend
Not that it's wrong to have sex with your girlfriend. I think it's wonderful But that's not why I go to a James Bond movie. I go to a James Bond movie to watch him bone
Just like everyone he meets and everyone's like super hot and he's hot and no one can resist him
It's fucking great.
You know, it's really fun to watch.
He doesn't bone in this whole fucking movie.
He hangs out with hot secret agent ladies.
And then at the end of their 15 minute segment, they go, all right, later.
And they just diverge.
I'm like, I started freaking out in the theater with my brother.
Like, bro, he's not fucking.
I'm like, he didn't have sex with her.
My brother's like, dude, relax.
I'm like, I'm like, no, he's, this is's this is what like this is what and i get why they did it you know we're living in a new world and we're trying to be like hey that's not cool i'm like i get that but like this
is james bond you know what i mean and he you know these girls are on board and then yeah he's not
having sex with anybody and i'm just like what i got i got a james bond movies for two reasons the
body count and the body count. And there was no sex.
He's like chased.
And then they violated some other Bond mythology stuff that's somewhat connected to that.
And I was just like, you know, more power to you.
But the next guy who plays Bond or Gally, you know, but then if they get I want the guy from Bridgerton, he better be fucking.
You know what
i mean they'll bring back the fucking this was a one-off that's very disappointing what if they
don't bring back the fucking yeah it's i'm moving to texas we're watching mission impossible then
just call it mission impossible he isn't really bone that's what i mean he's like asexual in those
yeah he like kisses paula patton in one yeah but i don't go to those for the boning yeah
i don't go to watch tom cruise fuck i go to watch james bond you know who bones
duane johnson and jungle cruise ew oh really ew no the rock doesn't have sex dude
he probably heard like all the people talking about how he doesn't have sex in the movie and
he's like i'm gonna put it in the next one.
Disney's Jungle Cruise.
Yeah, he picked a real sexy vehicle for it.
Literally.
Can you imagine him in a sex scene?
I don't know.
I think he'd just be so nice.
He'd be like, hey, I want you to know you're a star.
She's like, hey, you're inside me right now.
And he's like, you got a great smile.
You're fun to hang out with while he's having sex.
He's like, don't let the day get you down.
Follow your dreams.
And he's like, dude, can you stop inspiring me?
He's like, hold on, I'm about to bust.
You want to work out after this?
Yeah.
He's like working out during.
He's like, cable crossover curls.
Concentrate on the bicep. I could see him doing like an Instagram story where he's all sweaty.
He's like, just had sex.
And it was fantastic.
Now I'm going to hit the weights.
I bet you him and Kevin Hart send each other private videos.
You know how they send those videos talking shit to each other?
He's like, hey, Kevin, this is me having sex right now.
But that's just where they're like private communication.
And then the camera pans and he's just humping the air.
Lucky air.
Chad,
who's your baby of the week?
My baby of the week is Miami vice.
I've watched Michael Mann's Miami vice four times in the past two weeks.
I don't know why I love the movie.
I know why I love the movie, but know why, I love the movie, uh, but I think I'm
sort of in a, because we've been working on this thing, not to be mysterious, sorry, but that's what
we've been up to, we've been working on this thing, and I just sort of, I don't even, I don't even want
to think about new entertainment, I just like, something I know that'll get me stoked i'm not looking to discover
something new i like just going with sort of the comfortable right now just you know when i go back
home i lay there and i watch colin farrell and jamie fox be badasses and it's it's the best i'm
probably gonna do it again tonight it's an amazing movie yeah so that's it's the best. I'm probably going to do it again tonight. It's an amazing movie.
Yeah.
It's cool as shit.
Yeah.
They're good at everything.
Yeah.
They're like regular cops and they're flying like a glider plane from Columbia.
And they know how to evade radar. You're like, these guys, they got a skill set on them.
I'm talking AWACS, DEA, the feds, eyes in the sky.
A ship, a container ship that stops in the ocean that impersonates an apartment building that creates suspicion.
I love that part.
I like the way John Ortiz is like, he's like, you pick up a load, you take the load there.
I was texting Kevin, like the amount of times they say the word load in that movie is, I don't know if I've ever heard.
Oh, Kevin.
Oh, sorry.
No, it's
probably say load about 30 times he's like you pick up a load we take a load and confere is like
we guarantee loads okay we don't we don't deliver a load we make good on that load
what is what does sunny say to to ortiz at the end when they're doing the exchange?
Oh, he's like, do not send that guy.
He's like, why not?
He's like, what does it matter?
He's like, listen, asshole.
I don't want that motherfucker near me, okay?
You want to see your dope?
Send it to Isabella.
He's like, go.
We on a date now. Oh, yeah now oh yeah we gonna have a good time now
she mine now sonny we a couple now yeah after this we go watch a movie and grab a bite after
i get tired with her i take her head and i put her body someplace else you ever seen that he says
that yeah wow psycho yeah dude speaking yeah charlie is by the way beast good actor yeah dude
because we were talking he's like a drug dealer in that movie totally believable and then he's
in silver linings playbook is like a kind of like uh like strangled like uh suburban guy yeah and
he's awesome he's awesome uh joe who's your babe uh my babe of the week is uh my friend chadi she's uh been like uh my best
friend the last few months we've really helped each other out and we've had some difficult times
between the two of us or i mean not between us but um we've both been dealing with some difficult things and we've come together and
um had some really good sex and that was fun and just i just really appreciate it
that's how you pay her back with what
well no i'm just saying she's my babe of the week.
I really enjoy her friendship and, yeah.
That's right.
That was the bottom line.
It's a really good sex.
Yeah, it was fun.
Is she going to like that babe of the week?
I don't think she's gonna listen but yeah
i think yeah she'd be cool with that right on she's awesome yeah i know that's why she's babe
of the week uh my babe of the week is um two police officers my registration is like what
it was like six months out of date yeah and you're lucky and i had like the i had
the old sticker on the back of my uh license plate and i swear to god when we got back from uh
catalina i was gonna like change it the next day i know everyone says that i really was
i'm on my cell phone talking to greg warner on the phone and i'm like oh fuck i know my
registration i did i pull over cop comes up he's like what's going on i'm like, oh fuck. I know my registration. I did. I pull over.
Cop comes up.
He's like,
what's going on?
I'm like,
he's like, you know,
I pulled you over.
He only,
he has his glasses down.
I can only see his mouth.
He had nice teeth.
And then he's like,
you know,
your registration's out today,
right?
You know,
you were on your phone.
He's like,
did you see me?
You didn't see me.
Did you?
You didn't even see me.
You didn't see me for a minute,
huh?
You know how they do that.
And then I was like,
yeah,
you know,
you're right.
I just kept being like,
he was right.
So I was like,
you're right.
You're right.
Right.
And then, uh, he goes, well,, you're right. I just kept being like he was right so I was like you're right you're right right and then uh
He goes well your car has to get impounded now what and I was like no
He was like, yeah, your car skin impounded. I made up this lie. I was like look my assistant was gonna read you my
Registration tomorrow's like oh you have an assistant my cars a fucking disaster. He's like this guy doesn't have an assistant Yeah, the truth was my mom was gonna do it. I didn't want to say parents. So I made him that I had an assistant yeah the truth was my mom was gonna do it i didn't want to say parents so i made up that i had an assistant um but basically he's like hey you're actually you're
off the hook i'm not gonna make you i think he was trying to scare me straight and i was like
dude i'm literally gonna get it tomorrow and then uh and then he did one i told him i was like a
comedian and then he did one joke where he's like all right so now i gotta impound the car and i was
like what after he told me i'd get off and he's like gotcha. I gave him the biggest fake laugh. I've ever given anyone dude
So so nice him next day. I'm gonna get my registration. I go to get my new registration in Triple-A
I don't have enough time because we had to be in the office
So I leave on my way to the office I get pulled over again for being on my cell phone
Yes, stop that. I know a fucking idiot. idiot, man. It's not safe. Cop pulls me over. He's like, yo,
I'm gonna have to give you a ticket. Your registration's
out of date. And then he only gave me a ticket on the
registration. Oh, really? Yeah. And then that day
I went to AAA and got it.
Nice. I wish you got it.
Yeah. But yeah, both nice
guys. Thank you for not
impounding my car.
Chad, who's your legend of the week?
My legend of the week is Joe.
Thanks.
Joe, I'm going to miss you, man.
I love you.
Thanks, love you too.
I'll see you soon.
We'll get some big ass pancakes
and just big things in Texas.
And I'm sure you'll be back here
from time to time.
Yeah, I don't know when,
but I'm sure I will be. and i think you'll be back here
you'll live back here at some point yeah there's no um yeah there's nothing set in stone or
whatever there's no yeah i could always come back or whatever yeah you know yeah i never saw myself
living in texas i'll tell you that much but dude i like
you're on an adventure dude like a bunch of new shit could happen it could be really great
that's the idea i think it'll be good you're gonna take over the scene down there bro
yeah yeah you gotta show these southerners how it's done. Yeah, it'll be fun. Who's your Legend of the Week?
Yeah, my Legend of the Week is you guys and Strider and Aaron.
Yeah, hopefully we'll do the pod again at some point.
I mean, I'm sure we will at some point, but these have been a lot of fun,
and it's been great doing these with you guys.
With Strider and Aaron, Aaron's been great doing these with you guys. And with Strider and Aaron, you know, Aaron's been great.
He's been a big part of my podcast as well, Joe Code.
And now I'm going to have to find a new Aaron.
So, yeah, I just appreciate it and love you guys and everything.
And all the Stokers out there, even the ones that talked shit on me on the last podcast i still i love you guys too
they love you too yeah okay everyone just some of them don't no it's just an angry time for
everybody it's just an angry time but yeah no i i appreciate everybody i love you man give me a hug
all right Give me a hug. All right.
That was cute.
We're going to hang very soon.
Yeah, okay.
I'm going to be in your hair.
Prove it.
My legend of the week is... It's not Joe.
It was all the people who came to the small dong march today we put on a march
today for people with small dongs to end small dong shame and uh you know i was actually expecting
like a hundred thousand people i'm not even kidding i thought it would get up to that size
and our permit allowed for that and i think we had like 60 but but but they were small but mighty
they were a passionate bunch.
And when we went down that street and we did our walk around Pershing Square for 0.75 miles with a police escort,
they cheered and chanted the whole way positively, good-naturedly.
Everyone supported each other.
And I think it was the best representation of what small dong guys can be like that you could have put together.
And I'm very proud of all of them.
And you guys are brave souls and you,
you made me feel good today and I'm glad we could be there for each other.
So thank you to all those guys who came out with your small dongs.
And dude,
we've got some hilarious videos of people from the nice going shrimp dicks.
That's okay.
We are shrimp.
Okay.
No,
but we're powerful in our shrimp dicks.
What were the videos? The one like you showed me, it's like this lady are shrimp dicks. But we're powerful and are shrimp dicks. What were the videos?
The one you showed me. It's like this lady up there in her balcony.
She's clearly a black lady and she's like,
Look at all these boys, proud of their little dicks.
But she was sweet, but it was really funny.
My mom was there. My brother flew. My brother is like such a legend.
Flew from Denver where he's therefore
He's gonna be a godfather to his buddy's kid
Flew in just for the small dong March. Whoa stood at the front holding that sign
Yeah next to my mom and then flew back. Oh, what a beast
Yeah, just for the small dong March my soldier my fucking hero of a brother. Yeah. Yeah way to be
Supported nice. Yeah Chad, to be supportive. Nice guy.
Yeah.
Chad, what's your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is from Miami Vice.
So, one of the... So, Jimmy Foxx's girlfriend, wife wife is taken hostage
and a white supremacist
has a detonator
and there's a standoff
and he's like
shoot me
shoot me
fuck it
you shoot me
she dies
we all go up
just shoot me
fuck it
and then
one of the cops who's a beast she she goes, that's not what happens.
What will happen is, what will happen is I'll put a round at 2,700 feet per second to the medulla at the base of your brain.
And you will be dead from the neck down before your body knows it.
Your finger won't even twitch.
Only you get dead.
It's a tummy sport.
Do you believe that?
And he's like hey
bam
and he just gets shot
in the medulla
and the way the mist
comes out of his dome
when it gets cracked
yeah
and dude the way
I love that she's
I love the repetition
where she goes
what would happen is
what would happen is
yeah
she's like focusing up
yeah
yeah
yeah that scene ripped
medulla
that's a good part.
Chad, or Joe, what's your quote of the week?
It's from Henry Miller.
The only thing we never get enough of is love.
And the only thing we never give enough of is love.
I think that's good.
Okay, proceed.
You know, I think they thought he was like,
I think he was censored in his time when he was a writer in like the 1920s well for being like pornographic
It was like basic sex now. We'd be like this guy's fucking prude. He's like a PG writer
my quote of the week is from the very first page of the of a book about the
1990s Dallas Cowboys written by Jeff Perlman the guy did the Lakers book and a
Lot of it's about Michael Irvin
He's one of my favorite kind of guys
because he's a wild man and a party animal,
but he works his ass off,
and he really cares about the team.
Those guys are always fucking sick.
But he famously stabbed one of his teammates
in the neck with scissors
because he thought he cut him in line to get a haircut.
What?
And this is the opening quote.
You can do a lot of things in life.
You can't stab a teammate with a pair of scissors.
That was Kevin Smith, one of his teammates.
Chad, what's your phrase of the week for getting after it?
My phrase of the week for getting after it is,
yeah, I know my fly's down.
That means I know I fly's down that means
I know I'm ready to party
Joe
my phrase of the week is
keep pushing
hell yeah dude
when times are tough
they ain't gonna last
so you just keep pushing
I like that mine is a word i learned
that i had never heard that was pretty neat i got the word i just can't find the definition
you guys will have to look up the definition on your own the word is donnie brooks
i don't know what it means but i wrote it down because I liked it Donnie
Brooks Donnie Brooks like literally the name Donnie and then Brooks right after it one word
it's not a guy no it's a word and it means a scene of uproar and disorder a heated argument
that's a Donnie Brooke when's that we had a Donnie Brooke last time you were on the pod
when did they use that phrase I don don't know, but I like it.
It's not real.
When do you think they used it?
Like medieval times?
Yeah.
It was quite a Donnybrook.
All right, Joe.
I love you, man.
All right, yeah.
Love you, Joe.
Love you guys, Chad and JT.
Have a good trip, dude.
Yeah.
You be good.
Thanks, bros.
You too.
Don't get into too much travel, okay?
All right.
Bag up on that dong.
Yeah, I'll be chilling.
Crush, dude. All right, Bag up on that dong. Yeah, I'll be chilling. Crush, dude.
All right, Stokers.
Later.
Oh, guys, congrats on reviews.
Drink fruit smash. Guys, guys. We'll be right back. What is your beef of the week?
What is your beef of the week?
Chad, what is your beef of the week?
Aaron, what is your beef of the week? Shrider, what is your lead for the week? Aaron, who's your lead?
Striker, who's your lead?
Joe, what's your club lead? Last question. Thank you. What's your question? Thank you.