Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 224 - David Cross Joins

Episode Date: February 2, 2022

What up stokers?! This week we have the legend, David Cross, on the pod. Buy his new special "I'm From The Future" at OfficialDavidCross.com  Solo listener Q's, beefs, babes, and legends starts a...t 1:05    Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code [GODEEP].     Go to Diet Smoke.com, use the promo code “GODEEP” for 20% off   To find your perfect sofa, check out Allform.com/godeep

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Brought to you by the legends at Manscaped. Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pubed, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our dinks are looking fresh and clean because rosers are red, violets are blue. Do not let a wild pube wreck you. Valentine's Day is just around the corner and our sponsors at Manscaped are here for you
Starting point is 00:00:16 with the best tools to get your balls ready for the special occasion. This V-Day, it's time to join the 4 million men worldwide who trust Manscaped, the leaders, and below the waist grooming with our exclusive offer go to manscape.com and use code go deep for 20 off plus free shit let's start the show pour the maple syrup and take off my pants.
Starting point is 00:00:47 What's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad JT podcast. I'm here with my compadre, Jean-Thomas. What up? Boom clap, Stokers. And then we are here with our guest, stand-up comic, actor, producer, writer, David Cross. Welcome. Welcome. Tell them why you started laughing. Why did you? uh sam comic actor producer writer david cross welcome welcome honor to have you here because i just realized we were kind of throwing you into the deep end by coming full in with our intros and i was like he has no context for this exactly and i know you know that
Starting point is 00:01:17 and i could and i started smiling yeah i know that's why you laugh like oh yeah this guy doesn't know that's why i was. Like, oh yeah, this guy doesn't know. That's why I was looking away. Boom, clap, Stokers. Stok Nation. Yeah, you're supposed to come in with your own little catchphrase. You have your own California patois that you can toss in there? Oh, shit. I should have been prepared for that, had I known. I'll come up with something.
Starting point is 00:01:38 It'll come to you later. Yeah, it'll come. Nice. But yeah, we're stoked to have you here. I'm a huge fan. Well, thanks. Thanks. I'm happy to be here
Starting point is 00:01:45 it was a lovely walk I don't know we're right now in what would you call this central Hollywood West Hollywood is it really West Hollywood I thought it was like once you get past Fairfax it's West Hollywood
Starting point is 00:02:01 I think La Brea La Siena got a La Brea I think is kind of, it's West Hollywood. I might be wrong. I think La Brea. I think La Brea is more. Oh, is it? Yeah. Like La Cienega de La Brea, I think, is kind of the heart of West Hollywood. But most people associate it with farther west. Yeah, I mean, I did until just seconds ago. Really? Yeah, until you edified me. Isn't that crazy when your brain has to reorient the map? You know when you're in New York?
Starting point is 00:02:20 Oh, I'm not going to do it. I refuse. I'll remain wrong. Steadfast. I like it. You know when you're driving through New York and you don't know where you're like in new york i'm not gonna do it i refuse i'll remain wrong steadfast you know i like it uh you know when you're driving up driving through new york and you don't know where you're going exactly you're kind of lost in the grid and then you realize you're like heading the opposite direction you thought you were and then the whole city just flips into your head no that's never happened to you no because it's uh it's so it's a grid it's grid and it's
Starting point is 00:02:42 and north is you know kind of obvious and south is kind of obvious, and south is kind of obvious when you're heading that way. East-west is a little trickier. Damn. It only takes a block or two or an avenue or two where you're like, oh, shit, I need to go that way. It is true. I guess it's a hard place to get lost. But, I mean, it's like— John Mulaney has a bit about it where he's like, you know, it's 60—
Starting point is 00:03:01 There's numbers. The numbers go up. Yeah, you just look at the numbers. I don't know. It still happened to me fairly often when I was there. Let's see. I'm supposed to be on 14th Street, but I'm in 27th. I was on 24th.
Starting point is 00:03:13 Well, I guess I'll keep going this way and see if it turns into 14th. Well, now it's 32nd. Maybe it's just past 40th. Oh, so you're saying the numbers go in order. Yeah, they go in order. Yeah. That was one thing. It used to not be in order, and then they switched
Starting point is 00:03:28 it because it just made no sense. And, like, it would be you know, 12th Street, 82nd Street, 53rd Street, and then finally people, you know, said, we gotta switch this up. I never figured that out. Yeah, yeah. That's crazy. New York?
Starting point is 00:03:44 It was like that? Yeah, up until about a week and a half ago dude oh i thought it was like that explains a lot all no no it's about a week and a half like switched it up no yeah i visit my brother in new york and every time i i can never find him but where is he i don't know he's in bronxville now uh he was on the 82nd and he was on 81st and 1st for a while. Oh, wow. But now he's in Westchester. Do you have a favorite borough? Yes, I do.
Starting point is 00:04:11 In order of preference. Why'd you go? I've never heard that before. It's interesting. I would say Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, Bronx, Staten Island. You know, as you were going, I figured Staten Island was going to come in last. Way last. And I didn't think about that before I asked the question, but I wonder if from like 95% of the population, if that's where Staten Island lands.
Starting point is 00:04:36 I mean, there's some nice, really cool, interesting things about it, but most of it is just awful. It's weird. It's a weird place with weird people and they're not you know how um uh if you've been to new york you know that a lot of the the cliches about it just aren't really that true and uh and new yorkers are extremely helpful and and uh i wouldn't say necessarily polite but they're helpful they're they're overly helpful sometimes not in staten island right you get a you really get a vibe of like what the fuck do you want you know like it's just weird that's kind of the the that's like the cliche about new york but no it's not true new yorkers are very
Starting point is 00:05:15 you know the um community like where i live i mean everybody knows everybody and which borough are you in brooklyn nice are you in a dumbo or williams no i i did live in dumbo and i hated it um it's beautiful but it was uh it's a weird i don't want to bore people have never been there but it's very it was almost like built uh very recently it was just nothing for a long time. It was old factories, and then this architect firm, real estate firm, whatever, came in and just bought these buildings and turned them into these condos, and they won't,
Starting point is 00:05:59 they really own everything, and they won't let certain businesses in. You have to kind of go through them because they own everything so it's really got this kind of like it's it's all like corporate like blue bottle coffee and we work and uh like artisanal corporate yes yes exactly i i've had i've struggled to come up with a way to describe it but that's perfect artisanal corporate or corporate artisanal
Starting point is 00:06:28 that's my favorite aesthetic and style of store oh man and that's all it is it's really there's no soul I mean there's character but no soul and it's too bad because it's really beautiful and it's really convenient
Starting point is 00:06:43 like every form of transportation is there. The bridges are right there so you can bike over or walk over to Manhattan. You got the F, the AC, the 2-3, all right there. 2-3 is a good one. That's a good one. Are you a jazz guy? No. I mean, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Yeah. That's why I'm on the show. I always clear it. I want to make sure nobody's into jazz. Is the trumpet the worst instrument, you think? No, the keytar. Oh, the keytar. I think the keytar is kind of adorable though, right?
Starting point is 00:07:15 I mean, it's cute, but I don't think it's... It doesn't produce great music. No, I like the trumpet, especially when you mute it a little bit. It can be quite nice. Oh, I don't think I've heard it that way. That does sound more appealing. Yeah, a little Chet Baker-ish accent. Oh, Chet Baker's like a muted one?
Starting point is 00:07:31 Yeah, he'll mute it. And so we'll sometimes Louis Armstrong and, yeah, they can put that little thing on the end, the bell, whatever. Is that like the little cup that they stick in there? Yep. What's Chet Baker's big, big like slow melody song that he sings? I don't know. I mean, he's dead now, right? He was a junkie for a long time. Nice.
Starting point is 00:07:54 I don't know if that's what killed him, but... He was heroin? Yeah. I never touched it. No, he was a weed junkie. He died from that? He died from smoking weed. Let that be a warning to our listeners. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:08 Do you play instruments? I don't. I can paradiddle drums. Oh, yeah. I can paradiddle. I can play like six chords on a guitar because I had to learn them for different things. I started to play the banjo. on a guitar because I had to learn them for different things.
Starting point is 00:08:24 I started to play the banjo. And this is how pathetic I am. And I learned a lot of valuable insight in my character because I always assumed, like, I had this stupid daydream of, you know, maybe I'm just going to go up into the woods and just read and write. I'm going to learn to play banjo and stuff. And then the pandemic happened and I literally had that opportunity and I did do shit.
Starting point is 00:08:50 And I just played video games and jerked off and you know, it was, I didn't learn. And I have a banjo. I have a banjo. I didn't pick it up. Did you ever have that? Like,
Starting point is 00:09:02 cause I feel like a lot of comics have that like fantasy of being like a rock star or something that's kind of like their their dream or whatever did you ever have that kind of uh i mean i don't know about uh a fantasy of being a rock star but i mean i certainly fantasized about um you know selling out theaters and yeah, you know, having people react that way. Emotionally resonating with your audience like that. Sure. Sure.
Starting point is 00:09:35 And you know, I attained it on some level. And then I'm also, even before I had any kind of celebrity I was friends with a lot of people in bands and we all kind of became successful together and kind of grew with each other
Starting point is 00:09:56 or whatever so I get to almost vicariously just hang out and watch that on the side of the stage what bands were those uh the beatles um the rolling stones uh sly and the family stones wow uh stone pony um a lot of stone roses yeah that was my thing you're a stone guy yeah do you think sly and the family stone if you want me to stay is the best song of all time? I don't remember that one.
Starting point is 00:10:26 How does that go? If you want me to stay, I'll be around. Oh, yeah. That's great. That's great. Hey, have you seen Summer of Soul? No. The documentary that Questlove did?
Starting point is 00:10:37 No. I heard that. I'm sure it's good. It's great. It's great. But they have a whole section with Sly and the Family Stone. They're incredible yeah great just amazing they were like an integrated band like yeah and like
Starting point is 00:10:49 the 60s and 70s the drummer was like some like white Jewish guy let's go I love that mix yeah and it didn't Bootsy Collins play or no I'm thinking of Funkadelic maybe yeah he played with Funkadelic yeah but yeah it's that section the whole movie is great. And definitely check it out. It's pretty crazy. I actually, I should tell you, I PA'd, or I did audience seating for With Bob and Dave.
Starting point is 00:11:16 Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, cool. Just for a couple days, when you guys were doing the live portion of it. Yeah, yeah. When Paul F. Tompkins was doing the audience warm-up and stuff. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Where did we shoot that that was like oh it's like a sand stick soundstage like an atwater village or like glendale or something like that there it was like i remember it would take me forever to get back i was uh my my i don't know if we were married yet but she she was my wife now but her place was in uh i wikipedia so you guys were married at this time okay um uh yeah it would take me like an hour and 35 minutes to get home from there wherever the fuck it was it was so far in the middle of nowhere it was a i've never been to that part of town again yeah but i remember you guys had like a a pre-show mix that you guys would throw on. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:08 And there's some great tracks on there. It actually introduced me to Thin Lizzy's song, Jailbreak. Oh, sure. Which I had never heard before. I only knew Boys Are Back in Time. And then after that, it's been a consistent play. That is my absolute favorite part of when I'm putting a tour together and I go out on the road. favorite part of when I'm putting the tour together and I go out on the road and then I get,
Starting point is 00:12:33 I, I kind of mix it up, uh, about every 25 shows or so, but I put together house music and I, um, and I, I, I sequence it like, and I'm, you know, for music for when you're walking in up until, uh, pretty much I come on stage or I'm introduced, but's my favorite thing and then I always had the to have the tour manager tell every venue fucking crank it don't worry it's just crank it don't you know I know they tend to kind of play it down as you're coming in
Starting point is 00:12:58 it was like just loud play it I loved it it got me fired up it was a good mix so you curated that I would guess just knowing I loved it. It got me fired up. It was a good mix. So you curated that? I would guess just knowing Bob and I that I would guess we probably each made one.
Starting point is 00:13:16 I don't know. I honestly don't know. You'd have to mention some more songs and then I could say, oh, that's definitely me or that's Bob. We agree on a lot of stuff, but he definitely has slightly different tastes. He was an Oasis guy. I was a Blur guy, yeah. Chad and me, we have somewhat similar music tastes.
Starting point is 00:13:36 Yeah. But we were pitching something one time and we were driving around together trying to get pumped up, and you kept playing Foo Fighters. Yeah. I saw this interview with dave girl and it was when we were like starting comedy and he was talking yeah i just applied it to comedy where i was like he was talking about um this guy was asking him like how do you how do you what do you say to like aspiring artists he's like just play live just play live yeah i just thought that was so cool and i was like i was like yeah we're just
Starting point is 00:14:04 going to play live. And so every time we were going to do something, I would put on Foo Fighters, usually Everlong, and I'd just be channeling Dave Grohl through stand-up. Yeah, he's a great guy, great music, great band. He does seem like a good dude. He seems very happy. He's a very cool guy.
Starting point is 00:14:20 Do you know him? I mean, acquaintance. We have a lot of mutual friends. Best friends? We're very tight yes he came to my bar mitzvah amongst other things did you have a bar mitzvah?
Starting point is 00:14:31 I did actually was it fun? I don't know if fun was the word what would be the word? it was it was kind of satisfying because it was an early taste of being on stage, in a sense.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Oh. And I dug it, you know. And I actually got, I read my Haftorah, and not intentionally trying to be, you know, dramatic about it, but in the reading of it, you know, you're telling this story and there's people involved. And somebody gave me an anonymous $10, somebody in the congregation, you know, and just with like a note saying that was a wonderful reading of a wonderful passage or whatever. And it was kind of an early taste of oh yeah i can i can do you have
Starting point is 00:15:25 a flair for this did you did you always want to be a performer or did you do you know from that point that that was something you wanted to do i kind of always had that you know it became more uh defined and and clear as i got older but definitely i was you the silly, wacky guy. The thing is, I moved constantly. I was, up until I was 15, I think. 16 is when I, and then, is when we kind of, like, settled in an apartment in Atlanta. But I moved, like, every year for the first 11 years, maybe. Literally every year. Yeah. every year for the first 11 years maybe, literally every year. And so I was always the new kid, sometimes in the north,
Starting point is 00:16:09 sometimes in the south, and it's just a thing that, it's one way to go when you're the new kid all the time. And, you know, people like the funny people. And Andy Kaufman was your biggest your biggest inspiration right he was huge yeah yeah yeah um i mean you can't really tell now in my stand-up but when i first started it was very you know like purposely uh confusing and i did characters and i tried to make the audience uncomfortable or not, if not uncomfortable, just like, you know, with an idea of like, what is this guy doing? Is this
Starting point is 00:16:51 a bit or is not a bit? And, uh, obviously as people knew who I was, I couldn't really do those kinds of openings anymore. But, um, but yeah, early on, he was huge, huge influence. The thing with Kaufman too, right. Is that like, it doesn't kill in the moment, right? It kills, like, in retrospect, like, when you think about it or when you watch, like, a version of it. But that would seem like a tough thing to commit to for an entire career as a stand-up. Yeah, and I couldn't and wouldn't and didn't, you know. And it took me a while to find my voice. And I also was, like a lot of people starting out, I was, you know, overtly influenced.
Starting point is 00:17:35 Like, people would see it and go, well, this guy must love Vandy Kaufman. You know what I mean? Like, it was so, and I was young, too. I mean, the first time I went was uh it was right before my 18th birthday and uh whoa you started that soon that early yeah yeah and uh and and also by that point like i knew i had no literally no other skills i mean there's nothing i was i you know music no It was music, no photography, no art, no anything. Anything, no skills. Craft work, no.
Starting point is 00:18:12 But all those things are in the arts. You never thought about becoming a finance person? Oh, that's my dream. That's the ultimate dream is just to retire from performing. To pivot. And just to get a small little mom and pop hedge fund. Asset management. I've always seen you as a private equity guy. Well, you know, I don't want to box myself in.
Starting point is 00:18:38 I do like it for the jargon. Like when I talk to my friends who are in real estate, they're like, yeah, we're investing in an opportunity zone and then we're going to do a 1031 exchange. I'm like, I got to tell you, that sounds awesome. Opportunity zone? Yeah, I guess, like, Trump made this thing where if you buy property in certain areas, you don't have to pay, like, capital gains tax on it. Right.
Starting point is 00:18:57 Well, that's like an enterprise zone. That was, what's his face? Kemp came up with that, the New York Senator from Buffalo or whatever. Oh, nice. Jack Kemp. Yeah, but that was like a Reagan thing. Enterprise zones. Oh, so it's been happening forever.
Starting point is 00:19:13 Yeah, yeah. I mean, they just, I guess, in classic Trump, he just changed a word and said, it's my idea. I might have it wrong, too. I pick all this up while playing Call of Duty with my buddies. Because they're talking about it? Sometimes. What games do you play?
Starting point is 00:19:30 What's your video game? Right now, I'm playing Halo. The new Halo Infinite. Yeah, playing the campaign. And then I was... Oh, I played Psychonauts 2 all the way through, and that was great. And before that, it was Borderlands 3. Did all that, did all the DLC.
Starting point is 00:19:50 And then there's the Borderlands Tiny Tina Dungeons & Dragons type thing. Nice. That's coming out in March, and I'll play that. That's coming out in March, and I'll play that. And then when the chip supply gets back up, I'll get a PS5, and I'll get into Horizon Dawn West. Do you teabag in Halo? Do you know what that is?
Starting point is 00:20:18 Can you do it in Halo? It's where it was born. No, I thought teabagging was Grand Theft Auto, no? I don't know if you can. I do remember that's from a while ago, right? Yeah, but my buddy and I, we were trying to bring it back. Yeah, do it. Why not? I mean, there's a whole new generation of kids out there that need to be entertained.
Starting point is 00:20:38 And that haven't learned or been teabagged. It brings Chad an immense amount of joy. It does. I can see it. I think if we played sometime, I would be honored to be teabagged. It brings Chad an immense amount of joy. It does. I can see it. I think if we played sometime, I would be honored to be teabagged by you. What's your... My gamer? Deep Chad. Deep Chad, okay.
Starting point is 00:20:56 Are you... Oh, that's only on Xbox, right? Yeah. It's not cross-platform. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been doing it in Call of Duty, mostly. Did you play Destiny? No. I'm not that well-versed. I've been doing in call of duty mostly did you play destiny no no i'm not that well versed i've been playing call of duty and then i was a big n64 guy and ps2 but then i sort of had like a hiatus uh you know from like 2008 to like the pandemic oh that's a big hiatus
Starting point is 00:21:21 man that's a lot of a lot of next gen shit that came out. Yeah, well, I went to boarding school, and they didn't allow for TVs or anything like that, so I just sort of fell out of the game. It's kind of like when Bob Dylan stopped touring. Exactly. To that car accident. Yeah, I sort of hung up my teabagging sort of cap, and then corona hit, and I was like...
Starting point is 00:21:41 And you got your cap back down? Where did you put your cap? It was my mom's house. Oh, okay. she did is that something she had to send by mail or did you actually have to go she she said i i just to be safe she sent by mail yeah why would that be safer than you actually going there and picking it up because it was like peak kofid i was like i don't want to put you at risk couldn't she leave the house for a bit and then you'd walk in and then you'd go get it? I didn't think about it. And then you'd say, Mom, you can go back in now?
Starting point is 00:22:09 It was such a crazy time and I was nervous about putting that cap back on that I just didn't. Yeah, you had other things on your mind. Yeah, I was like, Mom, just Lysol it. Yeah. Throw it in the package. You know, if I entered the house, I don't even know if I'm going to spread COVID just by breathing in there. Where does she live? Santa Fe. She moved there.
Starting point is 00:22:28 I'm sorry to hear that. Have you been to Santa Fe? Oh, a bunch of times. Yeah. Have you? I have. Yeah. Do you like it? It was one of those places, and there aren't that many of these, but it was a place where I was on tour, and I got there, and I was like, oh, wow, this looks beautiful. This is really cool. And the longer I walked around and hung out, I was like, yeah, I'm not a big fan.
Starting point is 00:22:53 It's a little sleepy. It's old, too. It's old. It's old and sleepy. The Adobe's cool. I like that sort of, you know, aesthetic. And there's the oldest church in America is there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:06 you know aesthetic and there's that uh the oldest church in uh america is there yeah but yeah it was a little like um like the bar scene's not very good and yeah it's just kind of one little square yeah they have good like they have good food uh and good hikes but yeah i bet if you're looking to party it's probably not the best not even just uh just was like, it was charming and then got less so the more I. Right. I was like, oh, this isn't really charming. Yeah, I got you. Sorry, Santa Fe. Yeah. I'll tell my mom not to listen.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Do you ever, I know you're a big baseball fan. We talked about it yesterday, but like, do you ever play baseball video games and have they ever gotten it right? Do you ever play baseball video games, and have they ever gotten it right? I haven't played in a long, long, long time. Like Chad. I mean, I played, I think, the last baseball, I mean, going back at least 10 years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:07 And they're fun, but after a while while it just kind of got a little boring and i and i i guess i was missing a story you know i didn't realize it but like i like i like the story aspect of shit right like of watching sports like no no no i meant when you played a video game right like a narrative to it oh it didn't occur to me until you can do franchise mode and you can like manage your own team and that's true i think i don't even know if that was around when i stopped playing it was like you know it was that was a while ago and same with football i play football with friends and it was fun and it's fun when you're when you're playing with a bunch of guys you know or girls but you know you're there's all the shit talk and all that stuff but uh
Starting point is 00:24:43 But, you know, there's all the shit talk and all that stuff. But, yeah, it's like a special thing. As opposed to picking up a game going, okay, now I've got to, you know, I've got to collect the magic, you know, green leaves. And I need 100 to get the potion. And then the witch will tell me the thing. I don't know. And that applies to no games that I play. I don't even know why. The witch will tell me the thing. I don't know. And that applies to no games that I play. I don't even know why. The witch will tell me the thing.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Do you play, you mentioned Dungeons and Dragons was going to be like a component of the game? I, no, I've never, I never played that, not even once. I had tons of friends who did it and it always,
Starting point is 00:25:17 and I feel bad for this, truly. It always seemed way too nerdy for me and I probably would have enjoyed it but i just i don't know anything about it um it's a tough thing that you overcome when that nerd radar goes off like you don't want to feel and i was a nerd you don't want to yuck i was a different kind of nerd but i was definitely a nerd i was like we're all nerds about something yeah i was like a music nerd um comedy nerd i guess um yeah and i uh i regret i regret the attitude but yeah i had friends you gotta be honest to who you are yeah if you don't like it you don't like it but i bet
Starting point is 00:25:52 i was really i bet my i was scared that i would like you would like it that's the thing damn that was like when i was playing pokemon i wouldn't tell people i was playing pokemon but i like loved it it's like a tremendous game, but I did it in secret. I remember when that shit first, it kind of came and went very quickly, but that, again, I was on tour. It must have been the 2016 tour, I'm guessing. Is that right, about Pokemon, when it came out? 2016?
Starting point is 00:26:21 Yeah. Yeah, Pokemon Go? That was Pokemon Go. Oh. The earlier version was probably like 1999, but you're in the window. Oh, I'm thinking, I don't know what you're talking about, I guess. I'm thinking of the ones where everybody's like, have their phones out and going, there's one and there's nothing there.
Starting point is 00:26:36 They're pointing at the ground. Yeah. Yeah. Like outside of a Best Buy. That was a really weird thing to watch and not know what was happening. But it was happening in every city. So I'd get you know i was on tour and you'd be in a different city every night mostly and then
Starting point is 00:26:49 just wherever i was like i'm in uh calgary and i'm in denver and i'm just people are running around going like there's one and i'm like what the fuck is going on do you remember when your brain switched because when i heard about that and saw people doing it i thought it was really cool that they made it like mapped out over the real world. When I understood what was going on, I thought, oh, wow, that's really interesting. But then I got scared. I was like, but kids are going to be playing this, and they're going to get dragged into bad parts of town trying to find a Charizard. And maybe getting hit by a car or something.
Starting point is 00:27:19 Because they would just stop. Yeah, for sure. It's a little dangerous. It sounds like it. Did that happen? People got hit by cars, right? I think so. I think it was like a record number of kids got hit by cars that year.
Starting point is 00:27:32 Wow. Like 4,000 kids got smushed. It was crazy. That's dedication. Rest in peace. Yeah, that's dedication to the game. We're doing a memorial comedy show for them. If you want to drop in, David, we'd love to have you.
Starting point is 00:27:43 Absolutely. For sure. show for him if you want to drop in david we'd love to have you absolutely for sure let's uh out of everything you know writing acting stand-up do you have a favorite thing that you i mean i guess stand-up is sort of i just stand up yeah i mean and i i i don't know that like it really became uh clarified during the pandemic because i could i i mean i can't really there's no way to replicate stand-up without going out and doing shows yeah with audiences there and you know some people are trying to do it over zoom and that's no good and i did i did a couple outdoor shows which are not the same at all, not, you know, where everybody's spaced apart.
Starting point is 00:28:25 And, you know, I was working, I was writing with a couple different things with people and doing it over Zoom. And so you can kind of, it's not ideal at all, but you can sort of replicate the idea of being in the writer's room, which, you know, that's the best thing. But if you can't be, then you try to do it on Zoom, and you do these writing sessions there. And acting was different, but you can still do it.
Starting point is 00:28:58 I mean, you couldn't really rehearse like you used to be able to, but when you're on set and everybody's got masks and the face shields, and then there's like zone A, zone B, zone C, zone, and these people can't be near these people and everything's apart. And,
Starting point is 00:29:14 uh, but then ultimately you take your shit off and you go stand on your marks and you do the scenes and, and then you finish and mask back on. So you can do that stuff but you cannot do stand-up and uh and i went a year and a half i talked about in the special um did we mention the special not yet oh all right yeah you have a new special coming out yeah when does it drop uh february 12th yeah it's uh it's called i'm from the future and you can get it on
Starting point is 00:29:47 my website which is officialdavidcross.com and go out there and grab it guys um and and i talk about it in the uh uh because i i was in canada this is the other thing i should mention is that just timing wise i got the worst of it because we were in Canada. This is the other thing I should mention, is that just timing-wise, I got the worst of it, because we were in New York for the, you know, when it was the epicenter and everything shut down, and it was scary as fuck, and nobody knew what was going on, and so everything shut down, and right as stuff was starting to open up again,
Starting point is 00:30:19 we had to go to Toronto, because my wife, who does all kinds of stuff, but is an actress as well, and was on this TV show that was shooting in Toronto. And I was like, great. You know, we have a little girl, so we knew we had to move the family up there. And I was like, cool. I love Toronto. Awesome city.
Starting point is 00:30:39 I've had really good sets there. I've recorded an album there. And I'll just, you you know do stand-up right that's cool well i'm looking forward to it and we got there and everything was shut down and doug ford the premiere of ontario just fucked everything up and it was literally locked down stay-at-home orders was what they called it and with the exception of two weeks in march uh and nothing's open and my wife was like well you know see if you can go to vancouver or anywhere uh you know regina or edmonton and see if you can you know and nothing was open right and not even the hockey hall of
Starting point is 00:31:18 fame not even the hockey hall of fame you just had to go and peer through the window, sadly. Damn it. And it was really tough, really depressing. We were in a stranger's Airbnb for half a year with a hyper four-year-old. And nothing's open. And it was hard on our marriage. It was tough. And I was going through a difficult time. hard on our marriage it was tough and i was going through a difficult time and uh and a big part of it was i couldn't work and i couldn't do stand-up but when i finally did it i got back to new york the fucking second i could um and i my daughter and i flew back my wife stayed there for the extra
Starting point is 00:31:59 month that she needed to be there and i did a guest set like four days after getting to new york and new york's open and everybody's walking around and restaurants are open the streets are that she needed to be there. And I did a guest set like four days after getting to New York. And New York's open, and everybody's walking around, and restaurants are open, the streets are, they have this open street program, it's awesome. And I did a set, and I started getting emotional at the end of it, going, man, I have, and it was truly a year and a half, which is the longest I've ever gone without being able to do stand-up
Starting point is 00:32:22 since I started when I was 17. And it's like a, it's a, you know, not to get overly poetic about it, but it's a need. It's not like I want to do this. It's a fucking need that I have, clearly. And, I mean, it was a big deal. As I said, I started going you know so you guys man this has been boy you have no idea and a lot of
Starting point is 00:32:50 stand up can be cathartic and therapeutic as well and I mean I was starting to like really get emotional but I mean it was and that's where the special came from. Did that surprise you when you got emotional on stage or? A little bit I mean I had to like'm not going to stand here and start crying, so I'm going to leave. And everybody was awesome.
Starting point is 00:33:11 And I just missed that. You know, I missed the give and take. Even though it's a monologue in theory, it's still kind of a dialogue. The audience is right there in front of you. And they're kind of informing where you go as you go. Yeah, yeah. And I didn't have like a hardcore set yet. I mean, I built up into what this set became.
Starting point is 00:33:31 But, you know, I was just talking. And a lot of it was about like venting about fucking Toronto. Okay, here's the people. Because you've been stuck there. You're stuck, man. Like literally stuck. And they were hardcore about that like you gotta uh quarantine for 14 days uh it doesn't matter this is pre is i think as the vaccine was rolling out in america and we were still in toronto they didn't
Starting point is 00:34:02 they didn't have their shit together uh I shouldn't say just Toronto but it was all of Ontario and uh um and you know and I didn't have any friends there and there's nothing you know on the weekends there's nothing and I've got a kid yeah it was it was you were like all responsibility and no like outlet basically yeah and and uh um yeah it was hard but i'll tell you uh when we got there and we quarantined uh for the 14 days and and i was uh my wife and i were both nervous about like how's how's our daughter gonna handle this you know we're in a stranger's house and uh and we uh came to this uh uh situation where we you, my wife was like, why don't you take her in the morning and I'll do my work. And then at lunch, well, I'll have lunch and then this is back when she was napping during the day and she'll have a nap and then I'll take her for the rest of the day.
Starting point is 00:35:02 And you can work. I was like, great. That sounds good. And I would get up with her and it was like just hours of running around. They had this little kind of carpeted basement room with a couch and we'd run it. And I lost seven pounds.
Starting point is 00:35:19 Seven fucking pounds. And a lot of it was because I wasn't drinking that as much as I normally would. But I mean, seven pounds on my frame is noticeable and it was just from running around with a four year old trying to get her keep up yeah it was uh for 14 days couldn't go out couldn't do oh you lost that much weight over just 14 days yeah over the wow yeah that's awesome yeah well i put it all back on and then some but uh you know yeah i mean it was i was like wow i'm starting to look good doing some push-ups did you did you ever uh did you always want to
Starting point is 00:35:52 have kids or did you sort of i did but i i did but i didn't until i was older right i feel like that's common for for guys guys. For guys, yeah. Don't have to worry about it. Right. Yeah, I mean, once I knew that I was ready for a monogamous relationship for the rest of my life. And once I met the woman that I ultimately married, and then it's, you know, we were having a great time and you can, you know, do whatever you want and pick up and go and stuff. But fairly quickly, I mean, after a couple years of marriage, I'm like, yeah, let's, it's easy for me to say that because i've i've i'm my i'm my wife and i there's a there's a significant age gap and i got to do all the like you know
Starting point is 00:36:52 fucking around that right one gets to do um and uh and so it was easy for me to go like yeah you know i'm in my 50s. I should probably settle down and have a kid. So I definitely felt that way. Were you looking to settle down or did it kind of just... No, no. You just were dating someone and then it kind of clicked where you were like, oh, this is a person I would want to do this with.
Starting point is 00:37:22 Yeah, it was definitely definitely that and uh um but i i wasn't like um i'm tired of this lifestyle i want to you know switch it up yeah find somebody and settle down um i i didn't really have that you were content to with the way you were doing it yeah i mean i i mean uh not to sound obnoxious, but, you know, I was in New York, and I, you know, and having a lot of fun. Yeah. And Amber and I, my wife and I, we connected immediately. And we'd met very briefly in other situations, but not in any real kind of viable way. Substantive way. Substantive way, yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:15 And then once we started going out and once it was like a thing, that was it. We never left. She moved in, basically. Oh, it was pretty quick pretty quick yeah that's awesome and and became serious pretty quickly and also uh unlike anything i had experienced i've had long-term girlfriends before but it was also like there was the the voice that was like she's the one man i mean she's, this is it. And her friends were cool. Her family's cool.
Starting point is 00:38:47 She's cool. She's really smart. People don't know how smart she is. And funny, I meant. She's also smart, but people don't realize how funny she is. She's really, really funny. And then, yeah, it was that. And you don't suppress that voice anymore.
Starting point is 00:39:04 You're like, all right, this is. Did it surprise you, the voice? that voice anymore you're like all right this is did it surprise you the voice or did it scare you at all when you heard the voice um it was a little scary because it the voice in my head is the voice it's like vincent price you know so it was a little creepy and scary yeah yeah so that's the voice in my head um has it always been vincent price's voice no it was, it was fucking Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. This girl's the one. I don't want to be with her. So is it tough for you to watch the Thriller music video?
Starting point is 00:39:39 Yeah, it's weird because I feel like it's talking directly to me. Yeah, you're like, the voice in my head is also Michael Jackson. The voice of Michael Jackson. Yeah, yeah. You and Michael Jackson are like neurologically connected. Yeah, it's crazy. It's a weird thing to realize. And I've been in touch with his estate about getting some of that stuff.
Starting point is 00:39:59 If you woke up one morning and you got body swapped into Michael Jackson, what do you do? Was he cremated or buried that'll they torched him they torched him um it's the safest way to start putting the dust together i guess so right trying to get a little bit of water or any kind of uh moisture i could get and try to reconstitute it does sound dry a pretty dry situation i uh this is kind of random but i i heard you in an interview once you were talking about your book i drink for a reason which i read and really liked and uh you were saying that in the early stages you wanted to write like fiction short stories for it and you mentioned george saunders who's like one of my favorite uh short story writer maybe my favorite writer honestly
Starting point is 00:40:40 but uh because what do you think makes him so good why are his shorts because they're heavy like when you finish one you're like oh fuck i don't know if i can keep reading these i think it's just the the you're never ahead of it it's a really imaginative it's only from that's the the authors i like have that in common where it's like i i i'm never ahead of the story like it's it's such an imaginative um like uh my all-time favorite author is charles portis in fact that's what this tattoo is of oh nice cover of the original cover of masters of atlantis and uh um and like his stories and Kurt Vonnegut and just where you, it's a singular person came up with this. And what I really want to read now,
Starting point is 00:41:34 because everybody loves it and I worked on the adaptation of it is Station 11. Oh, you worked on that? Yeah. I did the, it's great. It's, it's amazing that? Yeah, I did the... It's great. It's amazing. My friends love it. It's Mackenzie Davis, right? It's like a kind of post-apocalyptic
Starting point is 00:41:54 world? Or dystopian world? It's not dystopian. That's one of the cool things about it is unlike all these other shows or movies or anything... Where the feature's a bummer or something? Yeah, it's got hope to it.
Starting point is 00:42:14 I love that. But it's also beautifully shot. The storytelling is amazing. And, you know, I worked on it for, I don't know, a total of six days maybe, scattered here and there, and didn't really know the story and knew my scripts. I knew the stories in the scripts, but knew also how it was going back and forth, past, present, future type, weaving these threads through. And it's my kind of storytelling that I really gravitate to that kind of thing. And then I watched it, and, you know, the last two episodes I was crying. It's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:42:55 It's a really well-done, beautiful piece of work, that show. I'm just going back to when you were on arrested development i just wonder this about you know making shows and stuff did you guys know when you were making the show that it was going to be special yes like are you are you and are you able to get that feeling on certain things that you've done or is that just kind of i wouldn't say I've had that feeling like I did with Arrested. And it's very specific. I mean, I can pinpoint, I can tell you, because I did not want to do that show initially,
Starting point is 00:43:38 only because I had just moved to New York after being in LA. I was in LA for nine and a half years and you know after Mr. Show I was just like I gotta get the fuck out of here I want to move to New York and and there would always be some project that kept me here and then I found myself like in April of whatever year was and I was like okay I've got nothing coming up and I literally got a U-Haul. I got a friend who was going to drive to New York. And I loaded it up.
Starting point is 00:44:11 And I had to go do some, kind of finish some work somewhere. And then I basically went, sublet a friend's place. I gave everything away that wouldn't fit in this small U know small u-haul truck and uh and moved to New York I just did I was very quick and rash and I was like if I don't do this now I'm gonna you know a week or three weeks from now there'll be some other project and then I'll be just be here so I'm gonna do it moved to New York had the fucking time of my life. I was just, I was one of the happiest periods. And also really, it was also bad because I was way into drugs too much. Like it was, it was, it was good and bad at the same time.
Starting point is 00:44:55 And, but doing standup and running around and, you know, hanging out with bands and just having a great time and, and hanging out with bands and just having a great time and loving the life that New York, downtown New York, offered one. And then I get this script, and I'm like, I'm not interested. They were like, it's going to shoot in L.A., and I didn't know who Mitch Hurwitz was. I didn't know who the Russo brothers were. But everybody was sending me these scripts like, oh, he's great.
Starting point is 00:45:24 These guys are great. It's going to be cool. And they wanted me to look at Job and Buster. And I did not get Job at all. I had no handle on that, no take on it, which shows you Will Arnett's genius. Like, he came into that. When you just think of a, there's no description, just words on a page. Right.
Starting point is 00:45:43 And I didn't get it at all. But I did, when I read the Tobias stuff, I was like, I knew exactly who that guy was. I had a real specific idea. And it was also intended to be part-time, like a reoccurring character. I was like, oh, this is great. I do six episodes. I'll fly to LA. I'll'll shoot an episode come home for a month whatever whatever it is and uh and i said so i talked to mitch and i talked to the rusa brothers who directed it and uh and i said i'm interested in tobias and told him my ideas for it and um and you know i was specific about like you know i like the idea
Starting point is 00:46:27 that it's uh reoccurring he's not a regular and and then we went to go shoot the pilot i was also kind of in this new relationship with this uh um uh with this awesome girl and everything was great. And I was here shooting the pilot. And I remember exactly where I was. I was on the, I think I told this story. I was on the little bridge, you know, across from the Beverly Center. There's a Beverly connection. And I had been at the soup plantation. And I knew, I had to call my girlfriend and go,
Starting point is 00:47:08 hey, so I think I have to do this show. Because we had shot for a couple days. The cast was amazing. It was so fucking funny and fun, which is rare. And I think we all knew how special it was. Right. And by halfway through, half the way through shooting it,
Starting point is 00:47:28 it was like, I need to do this. Yeah. We need to make it a regular, you know. It's one of my favorite shows. So funny. It was great. And it was just the writing and Mitch was amazing. And that cast, the casting was just, I mean.
Starting point is 00:47:44 Well, everyone's had huge careers and everyone's so weird. Like everyone's so idiosyncratic, but it all fits together. And kind of perfect. I mean, can you, do you, I can't imagine anybody but Will. I mean, it's just, and Jessica and Jeffrey
Starting point is 00:47:58 and the kids, you know, Michael and Elliot. Michael, Sarah, yeah. And now they're both huge stars too. Well, they're not just huge stars they're really really smart talented precocious they have good taste they have great taste uh uh yeah how did that happen could you tell when you're like looking at these like i mean they were probably what like 14 or 15 when they were on that i think younger that's so crazy when we started i think they were younger i know that was their i think for each of them, that was their first kiss, too.
Starting point is 00:48:26 Oh, wow. Really? Yeah. And they're both such good actors still, and they do such interesting work. And good people. Really good, down-to-earth, great people. Do you think also you guys had an influence on that? Like, being around all these great, more mature comedic actors?
Starting point is 00:48:42 Because you kind of see that with the Freaks and Geeks cast, too. I mean, maybe you'd have to ask them, but I mean... Can you speak for them? Sure. Absolutely not, Michael. What? You know, you have my favorite, I think, line reading for a joke ever in that show when you and Jason Bateman's
Starting point is 00:49:05 character debating and then you're like, what do you know about marriage? Oh yeah, that's right. Your wife died. And then you can see, I think they flipped to the back of Bateman's head, but you can see he's cracking up at how you say it. And I was like, Oh, there must not have been a take where he didn't react to that. Well that there is, there is, I mean, I'm sure there's like a blooper reel or whatever the fuck. But yeah, there was a lot of stuff. There was one thing where I didn't tell him I was going to do this.
Starting point is 00:49:37 I think I told a couple, I probably told the director or Mitch or something. But there's a thing where i come it's a it's you know they do the the next time on the rest of elmer whatever um and i everybody's eating at the table and uh and i'm completely naked and i was completely naked and i came down just you know acting oblivious and then whatever the thing i was like oh look a dollar and i bent over my asshole was and uh which wasn't scripted and you know i can't i don't even know what made it and i was like oh look oh a dollar so you would you would throw surprises at the uh so you would you would throw surprises at the uh i when you could i mean people people give us uh a lot more credit than we deserve or or is uh for improvising stuff and in the very very beginning
Starting point is 00:50:37 there was more improv there was room for it and then there just stopped being room for it the scripts are so dense and they and a fox was cutting time out every single year they cut another 30 seconds out to put more ads in and stuff and and there just wasn't time i mean you would shoot a whole scene sometimes i mean you know hours and hours and uh they'd even encourage you like uh you know all right this is a fun run you know david do whatever you want and you do it and then the entire scene because there was only 20 minutes to tell this massive story it would all cut around to like a phone would ring off-screen and then off-screen someone to be like oh better get the phone and
Starting point is 00:51:19 it would cut you know like you just have to the scenes would get cut so right and it was a little later on but that first the first half of the first series yeah there was a there was more riffing around more fun stuff nice that's awesome and so and then your new special so uh so you're in toronto and then are you able to write when you're not doing stand-up like were you writing did you were you just like banking material i and it's it's a it's such a huge regret and i i cannot write stand-up that way i've never been able to do that like uh some people can just sit at a computer typewriter and write jokes and i've tried it and i'm not good at it my brain just doesn't work that way and 95 of my stuff comes out but you know on stage right and uh and and so that's that's a
Starting point is 00:52:18 it's not just about oh i can't perform my material in front of a live audience it's like i can't develop material right you know i mean you have some ideas and you write them down, and that's what the little pieces of paper are when you go up. And initially, I'm trying to put the set together, and the way I do it is I just have people come down, and I bring my notes up, I tape everything, and you just find your way around a bit you know sometimes you you give up after four or five tries and nothing's working sometimes you don't
Starting point is 00:52:53 and but it's all with an audience right and then you were people kind of credit you with taking stand-up out of comedy clubs and moving it into different venues right uh well they shouldn't I overstated I think that's a little out of comedy clubs and moving it into different venues, right? Well, they shouldn't. I think that's a little overstated. I think that's a little simplified because there were definitely people who were doing, you know, shows at, there's the big and tall bookstore here in LA that like, I know Janine Garofalo was a big part of that and there was uh Uncavere which was Bethel Petis and uh um I guess that was in a club but that had different kind of rules to it and
Starting point is 00:53:33 there was the whole scene in New York there was um Luna Luna Lounge yeah which was great and um but that was it was also about so I mean people were still doing things and, you know, weird places. It was more about changing the expectations of what the... Yes, I was part of that. I think if I were to give credit to somebody for making that kind of universal, I would credit Janine Garofalo, who I think deserves more of that thing. What I did was, I mean, I was part of that, but I think more the impact I had was more of like, I'm going to go out and I'm going to have bands open for me. Rather than opening for a band.
Starting point is 00:54:18 Yeah, rather than opening for a band. I'm going to tour. It's all going to be music clubs, and it's going to be drinking for hours, and I'm going to be. It's all going to be music clubs, and it's going to be drinking for hours, and I'm going to be on stage until I have to pee. And that's what I did. I did a couple of tours like that. It was fucking fun.
Starting point is 00:54:35 It was really loose and sloppy. I don't recommend it. You can do it a little bit. It was fun, and that's what Shot of Pee Fucking Baby was a result of. And Let America Laugh kind of documents that. But it was music clubs. I'd have bands.
Starting point is 00:54:52 And there would be very little time between the band. It's just like, don't even tear down. Just go play. Sometimes there were a couple bands. And go play. And then I'll come up. And we're just, and everybody's. And so that's more of what I contributed, but that whole kind of like. But you created an atmosphere that suited your sensibility, that fit.
Starting point is 00:55:18 Yeah, I mean, I'd be the guy in the audience for that kind of thing. And it was fun. It was was great you must have a strong constitution i have a very shockingly high resiliency and as i got older and when i was 40 i was like i'm you know i've got to get a physical i got to get this and i've done three physicals now like full-on full you know blood work urine stool you know everything blood work, urine, stool, you know, everything. Yeah, I'm neurotic by my health. EKG, all that. Yeah, stress test. All that stuff.
Starting point is 00:55:49 And every time, and I just did one last year. Every time I do one, and they're like, okay, you're in great health. A little concerned your cholesterol is getting up there. It's nothing major, but, you know, something to look at. And I'm like, I drink an excessive amount every single night. And sometimes I do drugs. And I mean, okay, thank you. You come from good stuff.
Starting point is 00:56:23 I guess. Well, I'm British, so you know there's there's that shit i guess yeah i'm uh i wish i had that a little more i'm pretty good with it but like my brother is like that he can just it's it's a blessing and a curse on the next day he's the same dude yeah it's blessing of course do do you do you associate it with like performing too is it like i'm having a seltzer right now does it does it kind of
Starting point is 00:56:47 and actually I don't even want to be like glib about it I mean seriously do you find that it does enhance creativity at times no we're back in right yeah so David you're heading out no thank you already
Starting point is 00:57:02 yeah well as I said before I'm, I'm not going to eat that. We have a tradition where everyone who comes on tries beef liver. It's really good for you. Oh, yeah, I'm sure. No, thank you. It's a little early in the morning for beef liver. But there was that episode of Todd Marger where he did like gastronomy kind of food. But there's nothing gastronic about gastronomic coal about that. That's just beef liver. But it's lovely that I tied it back to your.
Starting point is 00:57:33 Yeah, it was very nice. So you brought it to Todd Margaret. Yeah. Thank you. But you're not going to try the beef liver? Nope. Do you want to watch me and Chad try it? Sure.
Starting point is 00:57:42 All right. I would never eat this again. I will do it for you okay so i just don't like liver i'm not i'm not scared of eating new things no i've had that that's what i was wondering though i was wondering no i've had dog i've had bullfrog you've had that i have in china how's dog uh it wasn't bad it was of the crazy shit i ate that was probably the least offensive really i had bullfrog soup um that was that that was bad because they chopped it they just sort of chopped it with a cleaver and left bones and eyes and stuff and was it just chewy yes it was it was really bad uh and i had uh kangaroos very good i've had whale i've had kangaroos very good. I've had whale. I've had kangaroo. I've had puffin. Kangaroo's great.
Starting point is 00:58:27 Kangaroo's great. It's really soft. It's like deer meat. Yeah, it's a little gamey, but also tender. Yeah, good protein. That's awesome. All right, bottoms up. What do you think?
Starting point is 00:58:42 It tastes horrible. It's always bad. It's really bad. It's like... It tastes horrible. It's always bad. It's really bad. It's really bad, all three. All right, well then let me get in on the... Oh, no. No, I won't. Good call.
Starting point is 00:58:54 Would you do hot ones? I regret this on your behalf. I did hot ones. Oh, you did? Yeah. I made it all the way through. I was... At one point, I was like in their top ten, and then I fell out of top ten. Oh, they've got a range. At one point, I was in there really 10, and then I fell out of the top 10.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Oh, they've got a brand. At one point, I was in there really briefly. Because you've got the southern palate kind of conditioning you to spice. Yeah, I'm good for a spiced food, yeah. Nice. And those last three are just unpleasant. They add nothing. There's no flavor, and it's just a masochistic experience.
Starting point is 00:59:24 I don't know why people would do that. There's nothing. It doesn't enhance anything. It's just. It's not like a nice. Burning, like burnt tire quality. Right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:34 I find that with most, a lot of spicy food is that I'm like, it detracts from the flavor of whatever. I mean, I like, I like good heavy spice, but I don't. But when you get to that level it's just silly pointless right well it was a pleasure having you on yeah man thank you thank you so much so much for coming absolutely thanks for having me in your home thank you for turning it was a little hot it was a lot in here very hot yeah are you so are you a cold guy or I mean I I'm I'm fine with most things except I got long pants today.
Starting point is 01:00:08 And I prefer, especially when I'm working, a little chillier. And then I'll just throw a hoodie or flannel on or something like that. But I deal with a wide spectrum. But it's also that it was hot outside. I walked here. It was about an hour and change, long walk. And it's warm outside. We're in L.A.
Starting point is 01:00:34 And then I got here, and it was like forced air heat. So it was like sauna. It was unpleasant. I like it. Yeah, clearly. Nice and toasty. Yeah. But, I mean, I like nice and toasty if it's cold out.
Starting point is 01:00:50 And I like getting toasty. You like the contrast. Yeah. I like my bedroom to be a little colder, and then putting heaters around uh my bed as well and then putting extra layers of blankets on so that I'm uh you know I like to feel like a cold sleep yeah I like being in my blanket and then it's frigid I love it love it best I like to feel like I'm always making weight for a fight yep okay there you go I just gotta sweat it out
Starting point is 01:01:26 if you fought in the UFC what weight class do you think you would fight at um a private first class I think um I'm not that familiar with how it's set up or maybe like um sergeant at arms oh nice that's what I chose
Starting point is 01:01:43 that would be my uh my fighter name sergeant at arms oh nice dude that's what that's what i chose that would be my uh my fighter name sergeant at arms sweet well dude thank you so much for coming in it was an honor so yeah my pleasure you guys are great guys check out the schedule or schedule check out this new stand-up special uh drops february 12th february 12th i'm from the future and it's on official davidcross.com hell yeah thank you dude all right man thank you have a great one you got the legends at manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trends p for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dinks are looking fresh and clean because the holidays went by so quickly and did you remember to take care of your package
Starting point is 01:02:25 with the best tools for the job? That's where the performance package 4.0 comes in. So you can get your pubes on check on brand. So when people see them, they're like, Whoa, what do you do? And you're like a manscape. You should get on the train too, because everyone has pubes and you need to take care of them. You get the lawn Mower 4.0 electric trimmer, advanced skin safe technology, reduces nicks and cuts, and you know, you got, you can, you can trim hair on loose skin, baby, with the 4000K LED spotlight, shave anywhere your heart desires, did I mention it's waterproof too, what, yeah, it's National Shave Your Balls Day on February 13th, that's the day before, February 14th, so make sure you shave those nuts, we got the Weed Whacker ear and nose hair yeah uh it's national shave your balls day on february 13th that's the day before february
Starting point is 01:03:05 14th so make sure you shave those nuts they got the weed whacker ear and nose hair trimmer and uh in the manscape performance package they have two free gifts their shed travel bag and anti-chafing boxer briefs to keep your boys stored comfortably and then you got the crop reviver ball to toner, refined cologne, compliment your collection with smell perfection. And they create products for a night just like this. It'll make your V-day date say, wow, great set of balls you have there. And you'll say, yeah, if you want good balls too,
Starting point is 01:03:39 go to manscaped.com for exclusive offer of 20% off plus free shipping with the code GO DEEP. Your balls and lady will thank you. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code go deep your balls and lady will thank you get 20% off and free shipping with the code go deep at manscaped.com that's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com use code go deep join cupid and shoot your arrow with manscaped this valentine's day stoke lords long time stoker first time writer long short story i'm in the army and all of my friends are in a different unit that then me that's deploying to iraq they've been my best friends for like six years and since we all went our separate ways to different units the only way we stayed in touch was on war zone call of duty
Starting point is 01:04:15 war zone i'm super bummed about them getting deployed while i'm still going to be stateside for multiple reasons but the only one i can really control is trying to find a new war zone squad not sure how deep you boys roll but if i could jump in when you need a fourth it would mean the world to tear up caldera with you dudes and striders no need to bring this up on the pod just hit me up if you're willing to add a new member of the squad take care yale oh good cue yeah dude let's do it yeah dude let's do it damn down let's go let's drop in i'm a uh i'm a resurgence guy though i'm a rebirth guy it's so fun caldera caldera i i like doing regular battle royale but
Starting point is 01:04:59 it's it's sometimes it's just too slow and i like to drop in where it's hot. Usually the fucking peak. Because then it's just right there with dudes. For sure, peaks always pop in. Yeah, just shoot them in the face. Anytime in the game, you know there's going to be some homies up there. Yeah. All right, three, some advice with a long-term girlfriend. Please keep anonymous.
Starting point is 01:05:18 What up, Chad, JT, Aaron, and hopefully the monogamy mastermind himself, Strider? I bring you a longish quest that has recently come up in my life. Me and my girlfriend just celebrated our one year anniversary recently. I'm super happy in our relationship as we are healthy, open, supportive and super loving towards each other. We were both 20 and in disbelief
Starting point is 01:05:37 at how well we were doing at such a young age. We were both very attractive people, at least physically. She is an absolute bombshell, a half russian previous model and mislocation winner in our local area and i find myself being flirted with and on the receiving end of a lot of attention from the finer of the finer gender to top it off our sex life is fire too this guy's a beast i know it might sound like i'm bragging. Yeah, you are. I think Joe would have some choice words for this.
Starting point is 01:06:10 I just am so happy to be in such a blessed position. I want to share it with y'all. Recently, my girlfriend has told me... I was like, is that the cue? Dude, I'm crushing it right now. My girlfriend's so hot and we're just boning nonstop. All right, see ya. That is a tough spot to be in. Like, who do you tell?
Starting point is 01:06:27 There's a good quote from broadcast news where William Hurt's like, he's talking to the Albert Brooks character. He's like, what do you do when all your dreams come true? And Albert Brooks goes, keep it to yourself. Right, yeah. Recently, my girlfriend has told me that she often gets turned on and has sexual thoughts about some attractive female acquaintances of hers and has expressed that she would want to partake in an FFM threesome. Two off, congrats
Starting point is 01:07:09 uh you're crushing it congrats on being a hot dude um i don't i mean honestly i don't i don't know i i don't know this guy should be giving me advice yeah i'm like why are you asking me dude i don't know you got it just i think be happy to be there but not like you know yeah but not too like but they're not to the point where you're like not confident but they're he's asking how to find this third one no i think he's like asking like what energy he should bring to the three ways so that it goes well uh yeah i think I think if he just brings Stoke to any situation, good things will happen. Just fist pump the entire time. And okay, here we go. Wear a leather jacket, no shirt, some shades, no pants.
Starting point is 01:08:00 Just rocking a stiffy and just fist pump. And bring a fire extinguisher dude and at some point just set it off yeah like preferably mid-thrust just pull it out and go dude you know what you should this is on fire dude oh dude yeah he's gotta put out the fire dude don't forget to put out the fire it's gonna be too hot and he should get light gloves so he can do a light show so if like his girlfriend and the other girl are like doing something to each other the person who's on the receiving end can also get a light show in her face you know what i mean totally and bring bear mace don't use it but just be like just in case things get out of control and then the girls
Starting point is 01:08:39 be like oh wow this is dangerous yeah like this could really escalate. And bring a charcuterie board. That's really smart. Yeah. Maybe some grapes and stuff and some cheese. Like a huge charcuterie board. Yeah. And don't skimp out on the crackers. It's real.
Starting point is 01:08:57 Go ahead. One of those helmets the guys wear when they're welding. Dude. You know the steel ones that you throw down? That's funny you say that because I was thinking they should all dress like stormtroopers and then have stormtrooper sex that sounds hot yeah and then um make sure you make your girlfriend feel really special throughout when to say i love you hey guys i'm a longtime listener from kansas city thanks so much for all the joy you bring to my life y'all are the best anyway i have a relationship question that i would love your perspective on perspective on maybe we'll help
Starting point is 01:09:27 out some other stokers in a similar situation i have been dating this guy for three months now we met on bumble never in a million years would i have thought i would find something meaningful on a dating app but here we are it's super possible this guy has quickly become one of my favorite people and i honestly forgot that i haven't known him for that long and that we met on a dating app. I love being around him and he makes me laugh. There are some moments that we are hanging out when I think in my head, I love you and it just feels so right. I'm definitely falling for this guy.
Starting point is 01:09:56 So here's the question. When is too soon to say the L word? Do you just say it when you feel it or should you wait longer based on societal norms? It's definitely something I've been pondering. I'm a 26 year old graduate student here last semester of school and he's a 30 year old engineer for some context i would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on this thanks again for everything stay safe i hope you had a speedy recovery from covid hugs brook um it's a good cue it's so it's so finding that balance early on the relationship i think it can be kind of like you're like all right come on do i do i finding that balance of like how much
Starting point is 01:10:32 you know how many how much of your card do you willing to show you know what i mean totally it's really tough it's really nerve-wracking and honestly i was always someone who said it just right when i felt it yeah and. And I think that worked against me. But not all the time. But then I met a partner where I said it too soon. And I think it kind of, yeah, I showed my cards too early. I didn't make the other person really earn it. I just said it once I felt it.
Starting point is 01:10:58 Yeah. And I don't know. I don't think there is like a one size fits all for it, right? Yeah. But I do think if you're prone to saying it early, I would try and hold back. Yeah. And if you're prone to holding back, then I would try to say it earlier. Right.
Starting point is 01:11:12 It's more about who you are as a person than... That's a good call. But I don't know. If you feel it and you want to say it, say it. But I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting a little bit after you're feeling it to just... Digest it. And to really not make it just a feeling-based thing and make it more of like, all right, well, have I really thought this through? Have I really thought about what it means to say I love you to someone?
Starting point is 01:11:35 Yeah. And is this person, have they shown me enough to make me feel like they've earned me saying I love you to them? Right. That's a great call yeah yeah i never thought that they have to earn it kind of thing that's the thing is like i would just give it away and i wouldn't even think about if this other person is like really shown me that there's someone i can trust to love yeah i mean yeah yeah but you know at the same time if you know i i think it i don't think i've ever waited longer than a month to say I love you to someone.
Starting point is 01:12:07 Right. She said three months. They're going on three months? Which is a good chunk of time. That's a good chunk of time. And, I mean, I'm not sure what's going on in the guy's head, but I'm like 90% sure he's feeling the same way. And he probably wants her to say it. Yeah, it's just interesting to me, too.
Starting point is 01:12:27 I think you're right. I think these two are in love, and they have a beautiful thing going, and let it rip. But I know guys who are very slow in saying, I love you. And then they're the most loving boyfriends and later husbands ever. And then I know people who say it quick and hop out. The phrase doesn't mean as much as the action, I think. But it does feel so fucking good to say it oh yeah to just be like i love you yeah and then get it back that's a great
Starting point is 01:12:50 great feeling i'm sure she'll get it back oh yeah oh yeah they're both solid too she's grad soon he's an engineer yeah they're fucking solid and my wife and I met on a dating app. It does happen. And I think we said it two months. Two months? Yeah. Who said it first? Me. Dude.
Starting point is 01:13:12 How'd you say it? I love you. Dude, I felt that. I felt that too. Was that directed at both of us? At Chad? For sure. For sure, Chad. Oh, dude.
Starting point is 01:13:24 Thank you. Whenever you're ready. Aaron. Whenever you're ready. Aaron. Whenever you're ready. On your own time, dude. I love you, too. I don't want to... Whoa!
Starting point is 01:13:31 I felt that as well. Watch a little connection happen here. It's tough to say. I'm scared. Do you want me to keep it moving? Yeah. Unless you want to say it.
Starting point is 01:13:46 No, I just wanted to sit in the... Oh, I love you. I love you. I love you too. No, you got to say it better than that. Oh, God. Now I feel like I'm trying to act. You're on the spot too much.
Starting point is 01:14:00 No. We'll come to it later if you want to. Yeah, yeah. Let's pepper it in. Yeah, yeah. Don't force it you're giving it away too early again you're giving it away don't do that don't make me earn it you're flipping it make me earn it no no no you're just trying to push the buck dude it's on you baby hey i love you hey i love you too, man. All right. What's up, guys?
Starting point is 01:14:27 Long story short, some super bad shit. There was three of us in high school. The other two went away to school together and got pretty tight. I'm still boys with one. The other one is pretty distant. I'll hit him with birthday text in a couple of days of catch up. But after years of being the only conversation, our relationship. But after years of that being the only conversation ship. Holy shit. But after years of that being the only conversation ship holy but after years of that being the only conversation our relationship is kind of non-existence
Starting point is 01:14:50 i get that's how it goes and we really went different ways with our lives after college but i do i keep things awkward catch up going or do i lock up the memories and move on so their relationship has gotten awkward he's like following up with this dude and the dude's not really following up with him and he's wondering if he lets it die or if he keeps fighting it or keeps fighting for it rather and this is post-college uh i think they're in college but it's been like throughout the duration of it and because two of them went away and like got super tight and he was kind of third man out but But he's still tight with one of them, but the other one's not really reciprocating. Right.
Starting point is 01:15:28 I think in those situations where someone is kind of backing off a little bit, I think trying to force it kind of never really works. So I think you've got to let them... If you sort of give them the space i think the chances of them sort of uh rekindling are much higher uh what do you think yeah i think it's tough man like you never want whether it's romantic or or platonic you don't want someone to
Starting point is 01:16:00 take space from you when you don't want them to take space, but chasing after them, it's, you're looking for like a reciprocal, uh, feedback that you're probably not going to get. Yeah. And that's okay. Like we all do it and it's just part of life and you know, you do it throughout your life. I mean, adults, you you know grown people do it too
Starting point is 01:16:25 but i i don't know i don't really think there has to be like a hard answer to this like you can keep messaging them and if you're okay with not getting the feedback you want then that's fine but it might be better to reallocate that energy. Yeah. Put it somewhere else. You don't have to keep the same group of friends your whole life. Good call. It'd be great if you could, but, you know. That's a great call. This is an opportunity for growth,
Starting point is 01:16:57 because if he puts that energy into another friend who's going to help him become the person he's going to be, that's better than chasing something from your past and trying to keep that when it doesn't really have the same uh dynamic or meaning anymore yeah yeah that's what's up um naming body parts what's up legends i'm wondering if you have any unique nicknames for any of your body parts dong gun quads i often refer to my mustache as the saddle also how many unread emails is too many thanks dog late dude i love the saddle that's a good one um nicknames I refer to my thighs as
Starting point is 01:17:48 steak nice it's like yeah I'm just gonna work out the steak today that's stupid that sucked I tried to come up with something funny and it fucking sucked
Starting point is 01:18:01 well you gotta honor the attempt keep going well you got your hair your hair's flow i know i'm just like like dong flow that's like stuff we already say but like what's something new you got great calves we could come up with a name for those calves yeah The Mystifiers? The Mystifiers? The Statues of David? You took a chance. I gotta take a chance now. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:18:31 That's what I gotta do. Go ahead. I call my elbows... The, uh... The... The... The pork loins. Yeah, I like that.
Starting point is 01:18:47 Yeah? Yeah. This is just piggybacking off what you did. Steak, pork loin, just different cuts. Yeah, what's another? I was like, yeah, I call my sack the Wagyu beef. Hey, we're getting there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:06 I call my asshole the flank steak. Nice. I call my nipples the foie gras. The foie gras? Foie gras the foie gras foie gras nice mini crushes and long-term relationship love the pod first time writing in a queue i'm in a sticky sitch i've been with my girlfriend since high school so like five years now i'm in college and although i'm deeply in love with her i find myself having mini crushes on other girls i meet this has probably happened five separate times they're always short-lived and usually don't span more than a few months, so I just wait them out. Sometimes I'm not even
Starting point is 01:19:48 really attracted to them physically, but I find myself thinking about them long after we've interacted. I've never really acted on these besides maybe a few flirtatious chats. Again, I love my girlfriend and truly believe that she may be the one, but I have a hard time shaking these feelings. I'm wondering if you guys have had experiences similar as well as looking for some wisdom into you and what it could mean and what I should do from here. Thanks. I think that's natural. You know, over time.
Starting point is 01:20:11 You know, I listen to this guy. This sort of relationship. Yeah, it's like Jay Shetty or whatever he's talking about. That guy's popular. Yeah, he's talking about how we can feel attraction at multiple times a day you know there's a difference between like full deep connection and compatibility and attraction like you can you can feel attraction for you know the drive-through at taco bell or like um you know the librarian or your local barista and that's just like that's just natural
Starting point is 01:20:47 human you're just a human being yeah that doesn't mean that you know you're not fully in love and committed to your girlfriend that's just you know that's just your that's just how we are um so and i guess as long as the uh the crushes are kind of fleeting like they don't last for a long time i think i think you're okay totally i think the fact that it's been a bunch of people actually speaks more to the if it was just one person that would probably be like more of an issue yeah and then uh yeah i think to me it's fantasy, right? Like relationships, no matter what, are going to be difficult and they're not going to fulfill every whim you have at every moment you have them. So you're going to have fantasies and you're going to be like,
Starting point is 01:21:36 oh, this would be cool if I could be with this person or this would be cool if I could be with that person because they're this or they're that. But that's what they are. They're fantasies. They probably wouldn't be as meaningful as yeah because they're this or they're that but you know that's what they are their fantasies they're they they probably wouldn't be as meaningful as the relationship you're in and they would probably at some point if you were with that person you'd have fantasies about somebody else so yeah i think you got a good head on your shoulders you see it for what it is which is just like a fleeting attraction and i also think that could lessen as you deepen your relationship with your
Starting point is 01:22:06 partner and as you guys grow more together. So no, I don't think it's a big deal. I think it's normal. It's good. You're conscious of it and you're not acting on it and that you, you know, you see the bigger picture.
Starting point is 01:22:17 Totally. Yeah. I think you're solid, man. And you know, it sounds like the ladies like you. So that's. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:23 It's also easier to flirt when you're in a relationship that you know is solid because it's just like there's no stakes to it totally so you know that's harmless as long as you're not acting on it i think you're fine totally yeah it is crazy how that happens after you're in a relationship you're like oh i got no skin in the game i can just kind of be charming without yeah really feeling like I'm risking too much. It's nice. All right. We ready for the next part? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:49 Chad, who or what is your beef of the week? My beef of the week is my foot hurts. My foot hurts. Something, I think it's my metatarsal, which I just made up, but I'm pretty sure that's something in your foot. Yeah, I think you're right. Oh, right? Dude, nice.
Starting point is 01:23:13 Yeah, I think carpal. That might be in your hand. No, carpal in the fingers. Metacarpal, right? Yeah. Maybe. Dude, it's something with the arsehole. Right here.
Starting point is 01:23:24 Okay, so I tried to run this morning, and right here, my foot, it hurts, and I'm kind of pissed. It's something with the arsehole. Right here. Okay. So I tried to run this morning. And right here, my foot, it hurts. And I'm kind of pissed. I'm like, what is that? It's like a, I don't know if it's like a stress fracture or it's just like my foot's kind of sore. Carpal is the hand. It's the carpal.
Starting point is 01:23:41 For a hand. But you were right with the foot. Metatarsal. Yeah. You nailed it. Yeah. And I just wanted to go away so i can run so later yourself pain um that's my beef nice good beef aaron what's your beef of the week my beef is still with this goddamn solar solar company jesus christ i'm gonna name them this time. No. Do it. Supermat. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:05 Do it. Sunrun. The biggest solar company in the United States. Still don't have my goddamn roof tiles on. I keep getting transferred department to department, put on hold for the entire drive here. Nobody picked up. Just really annoyed. Did they claim to be green? Well, I mean, it's solar energy so it's like you know provide the goodness to the people it's so whack it is weird when it's like
Starting point is 01:24:36 a green company so you assume they'd be like ethical across all parts of the company yeah but it's like at the end of the day, are they just like a greedy corporation that doesn't take care of their customers? That's what it sounds like to me. Or are they too big to focus on any one client? Yeah, personal attention. That's a huge part of any business. And it's been totally lost in the sauce
Starting point is 01:25:00 with these huge conglomerates that just could give a fuck about hardworking folks that just want to you know produce and hold good energy yeah i'm pissed man me too it's fucked sorry dude my beef of the week is uh is uh i had a beef yesterday at the gym. Oh, yeah? Yeah. And I'm not mad at the individuals. Actually, I feel close to them because of the conflict. But so it's not, the beef isn't them. The beef is just that something happened.
Starting point is 01:25:36 But I'm at the gym with Joe Pelazon. He's doing legs. I had done Muay Thai earlier in the day. I'm doing chest. And I fucked up. I didn't have my mask on, and I was vaping in a common area, and I go to a gym that's very quirky, so I'll be barefoot there.
Starting point is 01:25:50 Other guys, no one really has their masks on. Everyone's kind of a weirdo. It's nice, and then a lady is doing something on the Smith machine. She's doing something for her butt, and she goes, can you please not vape in the gym? And I go, oh, hey. Once I get caught, I know the gym and i go oh hey once i get caught i know
Starting point is 01:26:07 i'm doing something wrong so once i get caught i'm like i'm done i'm like you know what you're right she goes and you don't have a mask on so clearly you think the rules don't apply to you oh and you know because because i said sorry right away but what am i doing there i'm trying to short circuit her venting i'm like all right you're right let's move on but she's not done yet she wants to get more out so she keeps going i go go, hey, I heard you. I'm done. At that exact moment, I've never been called out at this gym before. At that exact moment, dude approaches, pretty jacked, but not in an athletic way.
Starting point is 01:26:33 Bunch of tattoos, man bun. And he goes, are you really vaping in here? Really? And then I go, hey, whoa. I go, hey, look, she already called me out. I'm done. He goes, come on. Just go outside if you have to do it.
Starting point is 01:26:44 It's so rude. And his voice is in this kind of annoying octave. And I go, hey, man, she already got mad at me. I'm taking her off. And then he goes, it's just unbelievable you did. And then so I'm like, all right, look, man, I already got called out. So I go, you don't have your mask on. He didn't have his mask on.
Starting point is 01:26:58 He goes, I took it off to get mad at you. And I go, well, that makes a lot of sense. Because I'm just being a dick and then he and then we just stare at each other he goes back over he's doing a curls on the uh of course he is the elevated thing whatever it is when you're at the like the degree the 45 degree angle and he just keeps staring at me and i just go and then i'm kind of charged up at this point and i'm just like what like what why are you staring at me and then he's just like mean mugging me and then i put my mask on and that was the end of it and i thought about apologizing to them afterwards and maybe i should have and just be like hey guys you know what you
Starting point is 01:27:32 were right i'm sorry but i just let it go and we all just worked out around each other for like the next 15 or 20 minutes so you stayed in there i did yeah and it was uh it was fine i just went back to doing bench and were you able to lift as heavy? Yeah, I probably was. With that stress on you? I was probably lifting a little bit stronger because of it. That's good. Because I was making a statement like, hey, you know, I had a plate and a 10 on there.
Starting point is 01:27:56 Not too much weight, but I was repping it. And I was like, look, I work out for real. But it was fun, to be honest. Nice. It was an exciting little moment. And then Joe had my back. But it was fun, to be honest. Nice. It was an exciting little moment. And then Joe had my back, not like super actively, but he was like. He squared up behind you? I was just like, man, I'm sorry.
Starting point is 01:28:12 I was wrong. He's like, nah, dude, you're all good. Like, that guy's got a man bun. And I was like, thanks, Joe. Dude, that is the best comeback. I'm like, dude, you got a man bun. It was really funny. What can you say to that?
Starting point is 01:28:28 Alright, Chad, who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week is Nick George, who we've had on the pod. The best. He's an Alexander Technique teacher and actor. He's just a great guy. He's a good Venice guy. I like cool Venice guys
Starting point is 01:28:43 that are grounded and like kind of like spiritual and just you know just cool and he's that and um i see him probably like once every two weeks probably and uh he teaches me this alexander technique stuff and you know just my body whatever but mostly he's just a fun hang you know he's a good listener he's into he's into art and culture and he's knowledgeable and he's kind of like a mountain guy slash venice guy because he's like from montana but he's also a surfer and every time i hang out with him it's sort of like it's sort of like doing stand-up where you're just sort of like it's sort of like therapy we're like oh nice you can tell him what's going on and he's like that's cool brother he's like yeah you're
Starting point is 01:29:23 going through transitional phase right now or you'll be like yeah you're really feeling those feelings huh and i'm like yeah you know he's the best of that like you'll just like i'll just give him everything i'm feeling yeah and he'll just go wow brother you're feeling a lot and then you're like you're like nice yeah you get it yeah yeah he's like yeah he's a good listener he's a good listener and he's like you know he's like uh he's like yeah yeah you gotta read you know you gotta read some melville it's just good nutrition for your brain i like just like the the his language is like very soothing and and cool and he's a cool dude he's like yeah he he's got a good life and you're like you know this guy gets it yeah he seems very in touch with all parts of his life, too.
Starting point is 01:30:05 Totally. Like all of it. Like his art, his family, his hobbies. Yeah. Yeah, he's just healthy. He's a good guy. The best. Aaron, who's your Babe of the Week?
Starting point is 01:30:16 My Babe of the Week is the TV show Peacemaker. Oh, nice. Starring John Cena on HBO Max. Nice. James Gunn wrote all the episodes and directed the first three or something but i don't know i didn't i didn't love suicide squad as much as some people did but i liked his character i thought he was very funny and and i think john cena is really funny i don't know he's hilarious if people get that as much i thought he was the best part of train wreck
Starting point is 01:30:39 blockers too yeah i've heard blockers is really funny i have to check that out but um you know who who the thought from this this guy who's a wrestler and i guess there's some precedent for wrestlers being good actors obviously but like man he's just so good well having that that head like that head shape like that and being funny that's pretty impressive built like a superman and just yeah he's a fire still super funny and like the there's this big dance sequence for the intro over the over this like 80s hair metal song that i don't even know if it's a real 80s hair metal song or just written for the show i can't skip it i have to
Starting point is 01:31:16 watch it frame by frame practically like i just love it so much that's cool yeah it's on hbo hbo steve agee's in it cool from comedy who we all love beast um did he write on mr show did he write on agee no i don't think so but posain did a frequent uh tag team partner within comedy stood yeah yeah um dude my baby of the week is the uh the ufc 270 event that we went to oh dude chad came with my brother and grady great group of guys and dude one of the best live sporting events maybe the best live sporting event i've ever been to it's awesome it was so fun the people in the crowd were amazing yeah we had a like four or five guys in front of us who were either from tj tijuana or had family from there and there was a mexican fighter in the co-main event,
Starting point is 01:32:05 Brandon Moreno. And dude, the passion that they had for him. And there was a lot of Hispanic people there who were rooting for Moreno. And being in that environment and feeling their passion for their guy was so thrilling. It was so fucking exciting.
Starting point is 01:32:20 And they were chanting, let's go, Brandon. Which I guess is a political phrase now that means fuck Joe Biden. Have you guys heard about this? Yeah. Yeah, I wasn't aware of it. And then my brother told me during the fight, he was like, oh, is this political? And I was like, nah, dude's name is Brandon Moreno.
Starting point is 01:32:34 So I don't think it was political in that moment, right? It was just everybody. I didn't feel like it was. But then I remember some people in the crowd were sort of like, oh, let's go, Brandon. But I don't think... It didn't feel political in that moment. No, the majority... Because it'd be weird, too, of like...
Starting point is 01:32:50 I guess you can combine the two, but everyone was so psyched for him, and he's like a hometown. Maybe some people were kind of winking when they were saying it, or having double the fun with it. But I wasn't aware of it, so I was just like, oh, everyone's just going... And then was other chance like you know like which was so amazing yeah and they were
Starting point is 01:33:09 doing it the perfect times like you'd be lagging it around and then they just be like you could just feel the rush and the guys in front of us were awesome yeah and they were like pretty obsessed with grady and chad and they just kept handing us pizza dude just non-stop they just kept going more pizza more pizza we're like bro we've already had enough but you could not say no it would have been like they were kind of like nice bullying us yeah and so we just kept sliding the slices under our seats yeah but they were going so ham and then there was a girl next to me and she was one of the deepest UFC fans I've ever been around like she was looking at the active betting lines as the fights were going.
Starting point is 01:33:45 And she bet on Ngannou in the heavyweight title fight. And she just kept going to gone. Fuck you! And it was thrilling. It was so great. And then we had the guy behind us who was super knowledgeable about the sport that I kept talking to. It was one of the most communal fan environments I've ever been in. I wasn't expecting it.
Starting point is 01:34:05 I didn't know what to expect. Because I've never been in. I wasn't expecting it. Like, I didn't know what to expect. Because I've never been to a fight live. I've never, I don't really watch UFC. And it was just, like, the energy of the crowd was unbelievable. Like, everyone was, like, everyone was fired up. You know, you go to, like, other sporting events. No one's really that sort of, it doesn't feel like i guess it does in some instances but like everyone's sort of in it together like what this is fucking awesome let's
Starting point is 01:34:30 go it was so community yeah based right yeah and dude it fired me up because i've been to so many sporting events with you and then i think i've been to every sport with you we've been to hockey basketball football and baseball yeah and i was like it was the most jacked up i'd seen you at a sport i was fired up yeah and so that made me so happy and then also i think it was the best i've ever seen you dance yeah and you were totally sober and you were so grooving oh i was i was feeling it yeah it was really cool yeah like you were really in the rhythm of the music because they play great someone like plays music during it and like a drake will come on, which just works so well in a arena environment like that. And yeah,
Starting point is 01:35:06 it was just a, it was a incredible, just a atmosphere. I was so stoked on it. Yeah. It really lived up to what I thought it would be. but yeah, that's my baby of the week is the UFC two 70 crowd and just the whole event.
Starting point is 01:35:18 It was so fun. Yeah. It was fun. Uh, Chad, thank you for, yeah, of course.
Starting point is 01:35:23 My brother, he got the tickets for my birthday. Uh, Chad, who's your legend of you for... Yeah, of course. My brother, he got the tickets for my birthday. Chad, who's your legend of the week? My legend of the week is this author, James Andrew Miller. He wrote Powerhouse, the CAA book, and just a bunch of these oral histories. I mean, he did ESPN, too, and Saturday Night Live. Yep, and then he just did an HBO one. But I've read CAA, and I've read the SportsCenter one.
Starting point is 01:35:44 Yeah, I'm reading the CAA one. It just like it's so entertaining it's the best dude and i just bought the hbo one because i i was just you know i i like i like bought it and it's like 650 pages or something i was like okay i like my i don't like i was like i don't know if i'll get through this but then i start reading it and it's just so... Those oral histories read faster too. They read super fast. It's less words per page and it's all quotes. So it's all juicy.
Starting point is 01:36:11 Yeah, it's all juicy and it's just gripping. And it's just like you're on this ride and it's so fun. And then I think HBO comes in today. Oh, hell yeah. I heard it's like a thousand pages. I'm sure it's a monster. But they're going to talk about like Sopranos and all that shit. that shit and i'm really excited to read it so just want to give them a shout out that cia book's one of my favorites the characters are just incredible yeah the two main
Starting point is 01:36:32 guys it's michael ovitz and ron meyer yeah kind of the central figures yeah and they're just uh i don't know they're just huge personalities yeah totally like ron meyer gets into like fist fights and shit like cracks his ribs with michael douglas at like a casino in singapore yeah yeah just fighting some dude at a craps table who's being too aggressive with his buddy's uh daughter yeah he's like just beating up some chic and they're just going toe-to-toe i love it it's amazing yeah um aaron who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is the band the weepies uh they're a husband and wife uh they were unfortunately this is where things get dark
Starting point is 01:37:13 uh we went to like their last tour uh a couple days ago my wife and i and uh they broke up oh they like got divorced right before the pandemic like new year's day 2020 their divorce was finalized we had no idea and they just announced it before they set these dates wow it was like fuck they're just great they're just a great like acoustic duo where their voices just just they harmonize with each other incredibly well their songs are so so great and so um well written and thoughtful and uh and their stage banter is really funny like the two of them are really funny the husband steve especially is like i think he i think he could do stand-up he's's so funny. But they complement each other so well.
Starting point is 01:38:07 It's really bizarre that they're not together anymore. They have kids. So that's tough, too. It's a bummer. But yeah, their music will live on forever. So they're great. Thank you, Weepies. My Legend of the Week is...
Starting point is 01:38:24 I kind of mixed it up. Because my Beef of the week is i kind of mixed it up because my beef of the week was going to be something else and i just switched it to that beef and i was going to make those people who got mad at me my legends you know what they are my legends the two people who got mad at me nice i like i like a little public conflict i i think i mistake intensity for intimacy sometimes but i feel connected to those people now. I feel like they were very honest with me and we had an honest situation. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:38:52 I think if I see them again, I'll be really warm and I'll try to get to the other side of it. Nice. Yeah. Chad, what's your quote of the week? My quote of the week, once again, comes from MacGruber. All right. my quote of the week once again comes from mcgruber um all right so this is mcgruber and piper piper is played by ryan felipe awesome got another throat rip in cool i might go for the turkey the turkey yeah it's a bowling term for when you get three strikes in a
Starting point is 01:39:25 row and i apply that to throat rips that's sick maybe but if ripman throats gets that warhead back i'll suck as many dicks as i uh but rip as many throats as i have to did you hear that no okay good oh man that's good stuff uh aaron what's your uh quote of the week my quote of the week is um i was telling you about this before the show but uh david cross was a guest on Just Shoot Me back in the 90s. And the character he was playing was pretending to be mentally handicapped. I don't even remember why. And people would try to talk to him and be like, hey, how's it going? And all he would say in reply was, chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie. And that just gets stuck in my head that's nice
Starting point is 01:40:28 yeah it's i mean you gotta hit those notes and um he would he would say that constantly and eventually at the end of the episode he gets uh he gets caught for for pretending but uh yeah that thing just comes and comes and goes in my head all the time and i've been saying it for probably two decades now so chicken pot chicken pot chicken pot pot nice my uh my quote of the week is from a song i heard at target yesterday uh there was i love when you hear just a good song in the background when you're moving you know you feel like you got a soundtrack to your life and uh this song was uh the chorus was so funny it was just i can't find the song i looked up the lyrics but they're a little uh generic so it was tough to pinpoint
Starting point is 01:41:12 which one it was but i'll find it but it just goes i'm the man i'm the man i'm the man i'm the man i'm the man i got a plan i was like nice dude it suited that moment in target i was like i do have a plan getting some sd cards nice chat what's your phrase that we're forgetting after it phrase that we're forgetting after it is um i already trimmed my pubes nice my phrase is cat somebody get this liver out of my teeth. Dude. Yeah. Good call. Yeah. It's aftertaste.
Starting point is 01:41:52 My phrase that we've been forgetting after it is from what I think might be the best song of all time. It's a Tiesto song with Post Malone and a couple other guys that's out right now. It's called Jackie Chan. Have you heard it? No. Isn't there another song? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:03 No, I haven't heard it. But the chorus goes your bitch just want to kick it jackie chan and kick it jackie chan i love it i think it's brilliant i don't know how they came up with it i just think they're touched by some kind of muse that's in touch with a higher realm than we exist in and yeah yeah, kick it, Jackie Chan. I think that's the best phrase I've ever heard. That's tight. That's my phrase that we forget to have.
Starting point is 01:42:28 Well, massive thanks to David Cross. Yeah, that was awesome. That was really cool. He's a legend. Yeah, never thought I'd just sit down and talk to David Cross for an hour. It's really nice when that happens. You know how on MySpace,
Starting point is 01:42:41 it used to say, who would you like to meet? And I took that very literally and I wrote the people I wanted to meet david cross was like number three really oh nice that's really cool yeah i figured you'd be a big fan yeah yeah so this has been really cool yeah he was a cool dude he was really cool guys keep writing reviews they help us a ton and and we love hearing from you and um just keep being awesome keep staying stoked or just stay stoked and
Starting point is 01:43:08 yeah I love you hey hey guys I love you too I love you Stokers I love you Aaron Cam Aaron came. See you next time.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.