Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 233 - Strider Wilson Joins
Episode Date: April 6, 2022What up Stokers! Strider joins. We talk Will Smith! Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code... [GODEEP]. Check out out the new audible original Summer In Argyle at audible.com/summerinargyle
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Alright, let's start the show.
Call it a boner and let's pitch the tent.
call it a boner and let's pitch the tent what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep with chad jt podcast i'm here with my compadre
jean thomas what up boom clap stokers and we're here with the oh i didn't think of a name we're the the the matrimonial magoo oh love is blind mr magoo is blind dude you go into these things
i love that strider wilson that's why you're a genius dude thank you you're stoked to be
here and also call it a boner pitch at a tent i think that's one of my favorite intros i've
ever heard of you i don't know i mean maybe stokers know this you just do these you just do
these i i just happen i gotta say though for that one i was on open mic earlier and that came to my
mind and i wrote beautiful yeah but you said it like it was the first time oh dude love that you're
going to an open mic baby just getting after it dude oh dude yeah they're they've been i i mean i
i enjoy them just to to work on stuff and it makes me feel good to go into them. But I mean, the last four I've been to have been just fucking brutal.
They're rough.
Maybe I'm used to shows now, though.
I don't know.
Dude, we've been having fun.
One of the saddest places on earth.
I was saying this before we started.
Yeah.
You know, there's a reason people in comedy kill themselves.
Yes.
And open mics are a big part of it.
Yeah.
It's not no one's listening
to you bearing your soul or you trying to be edgy or whatever it is but you gotta do it and it's the
best but isn't you know sometimes you have blue days you'll have a perfect day you'll it'll be
your birthday you're like man everything's going nice but is anything top when you come up with a
new bit and you go oh i think this puppy's
gonna work dude and then it does work and then you go oh isn't that fucking nice yeah and when
you have a bit that works and then uh especially when you're going through a drought and you're
sort of like thinking you're like am i ever gonna like come up with it because you're in your mind
you're like because good bits are so hard to
come by where you just sort of like you're like like you just get in this mindset where you're
like where do these even come from am i ever gonna have a funny bit again dude but they come exactly
if you try to force it you know it's tough jt recommended the book born standing up by uh steve
martin maybe you heard of him and uh no he he's
got a great thing where he's like man those nights where it's coming to you are so valuable and he's
like you just need to fucking sit down and write yeah he's like i don't he's like and they'll come
when they do yeah and that's the thing maybe the material comes to you maybe you gotta go you gotta
go live life and then have your eye trained to capture life whenever i
stay inside and i don't go out or anything like that and i just try to write it's like you need
stuff to to yeah well you said the quote who dare to sit down to write that has not first stood up
to live oh let's fucking go but i think i think too there's the chris martin quote from the bgs
doc where he says um they ask him about writing a hit song and he's like he's like you don't write a hit song really you can't write a hit song or try to write a hit song
he's like it's like waves when you're surfing you're out in the water you don't pick the waves
you just paddle into them and sometimes they're amazing waves and sometimes they're shitty but
you just got to be in the water dude hey man that's why i hate the fuck you know coming up
through stand-up and stuff and i listen to your guys doug stanhope podcast so maybe this is why
i'm hitting hard which i love by the way dude i loved it man stanhope great you
guys hey you guys got a pretty kick-ass podcast over here dude go and did you say that no you i'm
just saying that right now you guys and stanhope was awesome on here man that's been what's been
so cool but uh that's when maybe i'm geared towards stand-up but like um dude i was just
fucking i'm forgetting what the point was that like um dude i was just fucking i'm forgetting
what the point was that i was gonna make but uh well i think you made your point that the podcast
is great yeah it rips it rips you're fucking sick as fuck oh dude you're the fucking the third king
speaking of which i saw gata in malibu whoa and i was i was with with Kennedy and she's like go say hi so I go up and he's like he's like
on the monkey bars and I'm like I'm like Gator what's up he looks at me he's like what are you
doing March 31st and I'm like I don't know man he's like I got a show in Venice I don't think
he knew who I was I think he thought I was a fan because like the first thing he said to me is like
I'm like Gator what's up man good to see you and he's like what are you doing March 31st we got a show
we're gonna turn out I'm like okay I'll see you later yeah that's very unlike him to plug something
just straight to the plug and we're just kind of staring at each other and I'm like
and she's like I don't think he had any idea who you were and i'm like yeah i don't think so either the train tracks are coming up behind
the train yeah he's all forward yeah just that we're gonna turn out i'm like okay i'll see you
later um yeah he doesn't remember me but uh what is we were talking about standing uh yeah um
yeah you just got to be out there and doing it
um you just gotta keep going to the mic for sure yeah hell yeah keep grinding it's all about never
a bad thing to be honing the crap dude should we talk about uh the biggest happening maybe in human
history yes i mean there's so many takes and i kind of like that we had a couple days to process
yeah because uh everyone was jumping on
it and i'm also proud of the fact that none of us posted about it on social media like because it
was like that was almost speak for yourselves that was like a stronger a stronger choice well
not a stronger choice but you know an interesting choice and then but yeah so will smith uh slapped
chris rock in the face yeah and. And the world stopped for a moment.
My phone, I wasn't watching the Oscars.
I was seeing Lost City by myself in Montana.
Good movie, by the way.
Oh, I can't wait.
And then my phone just blew up.
And I was like, holy shit.
Will Smith slapped Chris Rock.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, I watched the clip.
You walk up.
I think a billion things were going through chris rock's
mind like he ain't because will smith's kind of laughing he's like and then just slaps him i'm
like first of all dude chris rock's a pro that's what i want to say yeah so many of these things
we're talking about will smith let's just give chris rock his due cordons before we get into
will smith's issues that he's got going on, obviously.
Chris Rock's a beast, bro.
He fucking handled it like a beast.
He kept going.
He's a champ.
And he wore the slap.
Let's go.
He kept his composure.
And he also came up with a bit on the spot.
Yeah.
Which was impressive.
I like the way he just played it cool and he's not pressing charges and all that kind of stuff. I think he handled it the best he could.
They apologized to each other too.
Yeah.
I mean, look, I think Chris Rock's joke might have been over the line.
I don't know.
And then I thought-
I don't think he knew about alopecia.
So if he didn't, then there's no issue.
And then Will Smith-
And he's literally the director of Good Hair.
Right.
Or the writer of Good Hair.
That's true.
Which is a good documentary.
And then Will Smith's reaction was obviously too much. Yeah. right or the writer of good hair that's true which is a good documentary and then um and then
will smith's reaction was obviously too much yeah but honestly it was just like an incredible moment
like i think people are probably like moralizing a bit too much like especially like comedians
like i want to call out some of my betters like let's go let's go like jeff ross said he cried
when he saw it yeah which i don't know why you would cry.
I know he cares about standup and it like-
Rocks his idol.
Yeah.
One of his idols.
Yeah.
But if Bruce Springsteen got slapped, I'd keep on moving.
And then-
Yeah.
I guess it depends on who's slapped.
But I don't know.
If Will Smith slapped Bruce Springsteen, I would not cry.
Yeah.
I'd be like, huh?
If Will Smith slapped my dad, i might get upset but i don't
know how yeah you're i don't know how close jeff ross and chris rock and then jim carrey said he
was like appalled by the academy's reaction that people clapped or something like that
but he was so dramatic in his like language and then judd apatow said that will smith could have
killed chris rock and i was like hilarious you know i don't want to act tough
but nah you're probably not going to die from getting slapped yeah well anything could have
happened before the slap you know like we don't know what you don't know what will's gonna do
once he's up there and doing that what if he didn't just slap what if he clocked rock like
and rock falls back hits his head who knows like yeah cameron poe style and
baby let's go whoa dude good rep right what i'm talking about yeah i guess if you put that in his
tweet i would have liked it yeah cameron poe style yeah i guess i guess he could have killed
more like if will smith had had like a gun or something will is he could have shot him infinitely
larger and stronger than chris rock no look yeah he's not gonna be able to kill
chris rock he's not going we wasn't going to so you're on jed's side no i'm just i'm playing
devil's advocate to him like this i'm saying is will smith possibilities was a huge little
bitch in this moment dude and if he was really having his wife's back dude she can speak for
herself dude well i'm saying dude that's his male gaze this is a term
i learned from my dank ass fiance his male gaze he is thinking only of himself only from his ego
thinking i have been shamed i have been wrong he's not really thinking about his wife in that moment
he's thinking about how he looks in conjunction with that and then reacting to it will smith
man i love your fucking movies dude if he If he would have said, welcome to Earth, bitch,
and then hit Chris Rock, I'm fucking cool.
Other than that, get out of here, bro.
Dude, I mean, I watch it, I'm like,
what's going on in that household?
Yeah, he's obviously got other issues, dude.
Never got the laundry.
I mean, yeah, and he laughed at the joke at first,
and then she rolled her eyes, and he looked over, and then he's like triggered.
I don't know and i don't i think it's you know open marriages are uh i'm not sure they'll uh
they're i think that's sort of proof of concept that they don't work i i liked a youtube comment
that said where was this anger will when augie was blowing jada's back out yeah i did a 19 year
old guy that was like the hip-hop guy she was sleeping with i forget his
age but yeah that sounds about right and yeah i mean i think knowing how much we know about will
smith and their relationship mostly through her disclosures on public platforms i did feel like
it was all combined in that moment but i don't know i don't think it was as like it was amazing
it was like an incredible moment it gave everyone fodder for like weeks and stuff but i don't think it's like i don't know i don't think it's like like people
are getting into like huge discussions about like violence and whether it's ever like justified and
stuff like that and i'm like i don't know if it's that i don't know if it's representative of
something larger i feel like one dude just got pissed at another dude and slapped him yeah i mean i think
maybe no like i mean obviously this would never happen because the this would never happen that's
the thing well you have to look at this moment an isolated thing but if any other guy first of all
chris rock would never make a joke about any other non-celebrity's wife but if a non-celebrity gets
up there and hits chris rock jail done pause commercial break later like no in
america he's who the guy is removed from the building right yeah there's no way but if you
know the people it's different like of course of course that's what i'm saying there's no
equal thing that's what's crazy about it but at the same time like once it's not a bit
once like oh somebody went up there and hit somebody over words people want
someone to blame that's the thing who do you blame who's in charge the academy who calls the shots
there i just that's what i feel like there's no one's calling shots well i think too what do you
blame i don't know will smith yeah i mean i think i think in that moment you know everyone was just
so shocked because i think when he was walking up people like oh this is a bit maybe even the producers were like oh he's gonna play this off well that's funny and they did it
and then i just think the fact that he still got the award and everyone just gave him a standing
ovation like nothing happened i was like i kind of like that it just speaks to the shock that
people have and how we keep moving forward. Yeah. But I don't remember.
Were you there when that Blair girl slapped me in my face and popped my eardrum?
Yeah.
We just kept moving.
Yeah, we were partying.
We were pretty hammered.
We were fucked up.
But no one was like, she needs to leave the party even.
We were all just like, yeah, that happened.
And then we just kept plugging along.
Yeah.
Vastly different scenarios. But but yes what do you mean once everyone's hammered at a party and there's no nothing's involved
nothing's being filmed could have never happened no one ever saw it um you're not on television
in tuxedos yeah well like i was telling you on my plane today a guy got there was a physical
altercation and one guy got removed and they kept moving and the flight got delayed.
And the flight attendant said she thinks it was because of the Will Smith thing.
So maybe there is influence.
But everyone on the plane, we told both guys to get over it, basically, so we could take off.
Dude, you know what?
I think Will Smith's such a huge psycho that he knew an open hand slap would be okay.
Because if he punched him, I think it would have been like...
Oh, that's different. Yeah, sure. way yeah you know what i mean which means it's calculated
which means it's more not okay mentally yeah the look he has on his face as he's walking away
is that is that crazy he's like smiling insane he's like smiling oh resting his his yeah his
it was scary dude like when i watched it i was like this is weird dude it was and i mean
he goes up there he assaults him on stage yeah he just walks back and like he crosses a threshold
dude this girl blaring never crossed any threshold you guys were hanging out in the garage next to
the fucking fridge where ronas are stacked up he crushes a fucking threshold which is the stage
in the fourth he must love fucking fucking adam mckay's directing style by breaking the fourth
and going up there and and and then slapping chris rock and i can't do that yeah i mean he
shouldn't do it there's no doubt that he was wrong to do it but i don't think it's it was just a
slap like i just don't think it's like a huge like uh
moral issue like to me it's pretty minor no no i don't think it's like this moral thing but there
needs to be a punishment dude i would like to see him get punished in some way because there's been
there's been no punishment in fact reward dude no i think he's being punished everyone thinks
people are making nine million memes about how his wife cheats on him i mean like well yeah i guess what
would be a fitting punishment that's what i'm saying i don't know i don't know what that is
and i don't know what body should employ that it's the academy the academy they have to although
yeah he's not he's not presenting best actress do you think they're going to take away the award
no they can't no no because there's already given well i okay so i uh his speech after was the most brutal thing and he's like
god is calling on me to protect people and you're like what yeah you're not a cop what are you
talking about dude yeah well yeah i think the speech too was he kind of made it like
like he's a protector and like i'll justify it yeah love will make you do crazy things he's like
oh i'm a character that's what ike turner said me hit tina like i love you yeah and but see i think
that's a little bit like ike turner had a pattern of behavior it wasn't just one time not that that
would be okay you should never hit your partner but like and it was man on woman which i also think makes a difference and i just
don't i don't think it's a i i understand the thinking but i don't think ike turner and like
will smith belong in the same sentence sure sure sure like what if wanda sykes tells that same joke
you think he goes up there and does anything no of course not well regina hall made a joke about
their marriage that was arguably actually definitely worse yeah it's more personal no i'm glad he didn't hit a lady yeah yeah that would have been
way worse or what if the rock gets up there or momoa tells that joke it is does he's a
weapon slapper no and he can't he doesn't walk up there but you get the rock i don't know i think
you got to know that too like cousin the there's certain people rock when you when you're big
you can or when you're small like i know there's certain people i can't make jokes about because
they would hurt me and then there's other people i know i can get away with it with i think the
argument people are making is that he's a celebrity and because he's celebrity he got special treatment
he was able to go up there it's nothing new assault someone on it is assault yeah he slapped someone
on stage yeah and walk back down and still get an award and a standing ovation and make a speech
yeah and you know normal people that wouldn't be able to happen to uh and uh it was insane
but i mean twitter was very entertaining like they should so they should have just removed
them like right after. Probably.
I think so.
But I don't think anyone knew what to do.
I agree.
I don't think anyone knew what to do either.
If you've ever worked in any live event, you might have some idea.
Remove the fucking dude who just slapped somebody.
Remove the guy who went up on stage.
When the award is given, when they say, and the winner is Will Smith.
when the award is given when they when they say and the winner is will smith due to tonight's
unforgettable or whatever you want to say unfortunate events he was removed from the building now to accept the award as the producer or the director or i am glad we got the speech
though yeah yeah yeah i am too i think it makes although it was very commentary for sure it was very painful
the way people are taking the incident and like making it they're like turning it into like
whatever their like life philosophy is on like this larger oh people love doing like that's the
thing i'm like i don't think it's like cause for that i think to play devil's advocate i think i think culturally
maybe we've reached a place where people think that
reacting to words that's the appropriate way to react to words you know what i mean dude exactly
bro that's like dude i'm saying that's what the opposite reaction i'm saying that's what will
smith thought he's not thinking about himself oh excuse me he is thinking about himself not about jada
he should have gone up there i think he did it for j she she because she they said he was laughing
and then she made a face at him and then he went up there yeah like she was like you need to do
something basically and it look but what he could have done is go up there and go sorry to interrupt
chris what you don't know is my wife has a condition
where her hair fell out.
That's why she's upset.
I mean, it's hard to imagine someone doing this,
but like that is an option at all times.
If he would have gone up for his speech,
that would have been the best way to do it.
Like, hey, I thought that joke was inappropriate
for this reason.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which would have been arguably lamer yeah totally bro dude
it's like anything it's like dude you can say anything but you fucking talk about my family
i'm gonna fuck you up who's gonna be like dude you can say anything but you talk about my fucking
family what's going on yeah let me hear about it dude okay cool okay so your point yeah maybe we
could correct that it's like dude like what a worst what fucking soapbox are you on to interrupt
the show and be like what you guys don't know is that she has a medical condition he's like all right back
to your thing chris and he's like all right right and he didn't know he was gonna win best actor so
he might not have thought he would ever get a chance to address it yeah he's like this is my
shot well the thing is like too it's like he's been campaigning to win the oscar for years like
he that's been his goal and on the one night where he's basically you know he's been
winning all the awards up until this point it was kind of like people were expecting him to win
and on the one night where he's about to finally do it he ruins the moment
in the most and the role is for playing a dad who is considered kind of a nut yeah
yeah i mean i i i feel for him i think he's i think he's got a lot going on
yeah and uh there's a lot of frustration in there and a lot of i mean with the whole like red table
thing and i mean i'm sure i think that people are making a lot of jokes about his marriage i think a
lot of things are building up and he's just having, you know,
I mean,
I think he,
maybe there's a bunch of ego and play and stuff.
He's trying to process all that and he's just sort of about to blow a lid or he did blow a lid.
Yeah,
for sure.
I don't think he's a bad guy.
No,
no,
no, no.
I just had a bad moment.
Yeah.
Yeah,
for sure.
I think he's,
yeah.
I still go do a movies he should still be
in movies he's just still fucking rip it i love his movies he fucked up he needs to come out he
needs to apologize maybe that's it dude just apologize hey look chris rock was the one who
was transgressed against if chris rock's cool then it's all good yeah i think i would probably
laugh if that happened to me i'd be like i'm like whoa if
you were chris rock yeah i feel like jesus does he was like oh wow yeah i mean he had a i mean
yeah his reaction i think his reaction is great yeah he handled it well he's like dude it was a
gi jane joke yeah it was amazing he's like bruh it's not about your wife yeah dude i mean if
anything he's saying your wife would be awesome in this movie where she plays a navy seal yeah yeah that's a compliment yeah yeah will smith
needs to watch g.i.j and bro i think the part that would if i was chris rock the part that would
affect me personally the part that would affect me more was the the visibility of it like i'd be
more embarrassed that like 100 million people saw me get slapped right but i don't think i'd be that
if i made a joke about someone's wife and they slapped me i don't think i would be that shocked by that yeah yeah i'd be like yeah
probably i upset that person i know exactly how i upset you like yeah i was i was flirting with that
i if it happened to me i'd be like oh dang publicity his ticket sales went way up his
ticket sales went also but also i saw a poll that most people think he's, what was it,
that he's like to blame or something for it, which I think is way off.
No, it's Jada's fault.
No, I'm kidding.
But I guess I just think art needs more of that.
I think that's like it's better for art if there's more of that.
More salt?
More salt.
I wouldn't even call it a salt.
It's minor salt, but it's a salt.
It is is but like
i don't know i think it's just a slap assault to me is like when you get your ass rocked
he went hard i mean he's like you heard it on mike yeah it's crazy look look my dad got hit
over the head with a wine bottle yeah by a chick yeah and he tried
to get her to like he pressed charges on that and like when my car got stolen i pressed charges
but i've been hit a lot like when ryan maxwell knocked me that was a fair fight though
but i was like yeah i just got my ass beat
it's tough man look he threw the first punch bro this is goes hey they say everything you learn
you learn in kindergarten you don't hit somebody dude that's all it is yeah but let me
tell you what you hit greg that time no i didn't okay i'm with you when you took him down yeah
i just put him on the ground i didn't i never ever threw it that's a song adam no it wasn't
that self-defense the was attacking me real hard bro he was coming at me real hard bro i was like whoa
uh yeah just hit the weight room learn some wrestling moves bro well if hey if will smith
would put chris rock in a boston tea crab and say respect my wife till he gets out that would
have been that would have been great a full nelson's a good move too because you're not
hurting the guy but he can't do a great, but he can't do anything. Full Nelson's a great move.
But he can't do anything.
He's stuck.
Well, like Charlie Murphy said, first of all, you don't slap a man.
If you slap a man, you have a gum fight after that.
Someone has to go.
Yeah, dude.
You might be right, bro.
Fuck, man.
It's crazy, dude.
But I hear what you're saying, JT.
I hear what you're saying, baby. And Will did just produce a stand-up show that I don't know if it's crazy dude but I hear what you're saying JT but I hear what you're saying baby
and Will did just produce a stand up show
that I don't know if it's aired yet
but 16 episodes of an up and coming stand up
show
Will's being a little bitch dude
just fucking take the joke bro
don't be a little bitch dude
Dave Anthony tweeted a little known fact
Don Rickles was stabbed 42 times while on stage
is that funny?
No, of course not.
That's funny.
But that guy, all he did was make fun of people for 50 years.
Yeah, I think, I mean, you could tell something was off with Will for the past few years.
Oh, for sure.
With his Instagram and his social media and stuff.
It's just so manufactured and like, and just try hard.
Where he's like, I've gained the most weight of that
i'm losing and you're just like i'm just like something's going on like this is not independence
they will no it's very sad it was all very sad i mean i can't feel good to have your wife
talk about why she cheated on you publicly yeah and you know i think yeah he probably should have channeled that it does feel
like displaced anger he's totally bro that's why it's not just a slap he's he's breaking ethics
moral code number one don't take what's bothering you in your personal life out on somebody else
boom if you're doing that you're a bad guy and you're not doing it all the time he had to slip
up i'm not saying he's a full-on bad guy but you can't be doing that i'd say to your argument the
better move would have been at the after party to slap him oh for sure it would have been smarter
way better he's drunk whatever and then it's not even a story really or it's a story but it doesn't
like the fact that he was on camera yeah he took the time to walk on stage what like three or four seconds maybe five to think about it
do it yeah yeah i don't know man yeah i guess i just like the rawness and the realness of it
i mean i don't agree with it like you shouldn't do that i don't think it was slick but
i was like it was a real moment i mean it's very entertaining i would have i would have tuned in otherwise it was real human emotion nothing's more entertaining than that
yeah i know their ratings went up by 500 thou but still the third lowest of all time i think
oh wow yeah i don't know do you yeah i mean do you think the oscars are gonna stay on this
downward trend or and what do you think is the cause of that do you, do you think the Oscars are going to stay on this downward trend? And what do you think is the cause of that?
Do you think the COVID kind of weird award ceremony thing?
But I mean, they're always on a downward trend.
And why do you think that is?
You mean it's because of streamers?
Yeah, I think the best stuff goes into series, limited series.
Like a Winning Time, Game of Thrones is huge.
You get a 10-part series with a film budget it's going to be
better yeah yeah i mean i think the only movies that matter like marvel movies and stuff like
that and like batman like those are like events but all the movies that were nominated for best
picture like belfast coda power of the dog i mean they're like they're like jazz no one saw those
it's for like people who have specific tastes yeah but they had gladiator up there now that
that was huge these movies don't mean much to people yeah by the way uh anyone who heard the
patreon heard me rail against power the dog it went one for 12 so i think i'm right vindicated
vindicated one for 12 that's my little league batting it took me five nights to watch
that movie and look i respect prouder dog beautifully shot great character our cumberbatch
brings it but baby you need a nap during that puppy power of the fucking cat nap
dude i might put that in my fucking action movie draft list yeah that's what will smith
needed to do he needed to walk away and go rub up on some fucking saddle
dude speaking of though uh peacemaker i was dying watching that i gotta watch that show
that show is a wreck i'm fucking i'm gonna dive in i don't want to overhype it too much with
this character vigilante it's fucking it i mean it's so it's like for i like where they're going
with these superhero like shows and stuff where it's like much edgier and like and like the the
superhero is kind of a fuck up but it's not like too sort of like winky of like you know self-aware
like deadpool it's just sort of like this guy's kind of a douche but he's trying to be a superhero
it's just sort of like this guy's kind of a douche but he's trying to be a superhero it's very entertaining i love it and i love john cena don't check it out yeah the tone of deadpool
i hate in that ryan reynolds tone generally i don't don't like but i did like free guy i have
to agree guy was good i liked free guy had some good themes and i started watching adam project
i'm gonna finish it i'm enjoying it yes uh free
guy the second half i was like at first i was sort of like what is this but then as it went on i was
like i was like oh i dig it no the scene with little rel and him hit me really hard about like
the meaning of life like that even if there is no meaning to it the fact that you care about the
people in it is what gives it meaning yeah yeah that was powerful amen same fucking theme as um
what's that show the chris mccandle's movie with eddie vetter soundtrack into the wild
you know he says the best things in life are shared amen good movie what else
you just got back from montana dude i went to montana it was amazing do you ski you snowboard
i came back out of retirement i snowboarded for a day how was it montana it was amazing do you ski you snowboard i came back out of
retirement i snowboarded for a day how was it oh baby it was fun i mean dude my feet just hurt too
much when i do it i gotta get like is it your boots yep they're snowboard boots i think i just
have weird feet i gotta get like some like uh liners made for myself so i can do it again
i mean i suck but you have big arches i think that's what it is my dad has high arches so he
always had trouble finding boots. Yeah.
I did that.
I mean, I'll talk a lot about it during my Beefs, Babes, and Legends, but I had one night that was so fun.
I partied till like five in the morning, wound up at a bike shop for some guy's birthday
that I didn't know.
Nice.
At like four in the morning.
And the people there, they're just the best.
It was nice to be somewhere where like everyone there is just pretty happy.
And I think it was the college kids' first time back from spring break.
And dude, young people are hilarious like there was just three dudes walking out of the bar they were leaving they just took a can of beer and just threw it against the door before they left
and you could tell from their energies that like the requirement to be in their group of friends
was that you like to fight so i just just like moved out of the way and i was like go and then you get on the dance floor this is gonna
be my beef so i'll save it but young kids dancing is pretty funny too how so because they're so
horny no because they i don't think they've settled into their bodies yet so the guys are
just bumping into each other a lot and not really dancing and the girls just fall down a lot you
know for like attention and
it works once and you're like that's cute but then they keep doing it and like they're just
trying to like find their place on the floor basically like i don't think they're really
listening to the music i think they're more just like figuring out how to perform for the other
people who are there bro that's a motherfucking beautiful metaphor right there dude no you're not
really listening to the music of life dude they're not they're not settled in they don't know how to listen yet
because they don't know themselves no they're not listening for the beat they're more just like
moving and kinetic and like looking around and they're trying to feel comfortable but they're
not like settling into the music yeah the hips are arrhythmic it's like come on baby just settle
in just listen slow down and i was 34 so i'm like no no i'm like my life is the quest is the is you
know the pursuit of the beat that's what i'm always trying to find that and then so i was like moving
too fast and i you know i can't dance as well as i used to you know my hips are slow my knees are
well i can't like you know if i drop it to the floor i can do that like twice a song i can't
stay there for the whole song now and uh but i was like but i but i do know who i am as a dancer
and some of these younger folks are still a-
You're a fantastic dancer.
Oh, that's nice.
I remember we were at Swallows.
My dang ass fiance goes, JT can move.
Oh, thank you, dude.
Tell me something I don't know.
But it was fun, dude.
Montana's a great place.
And then I was there with Ross.
He was going to be my legend of the week.
Oh, bro, let's go.
We were just lifting and drinking coffee.
We drank like five coffees a day.
I love that.
Yeah, Ross Akanos, baby.
Dude, i was just
in cincinnati recently oh that's right yeah you were out of town my dad gas fiance's grandma
turned 100 never met a hundred year old before that's crazy yeah 1922 b arthur betty white
jack kerouac a few others born jack kerouac lived to be 100? No, no, no. He was born in 1922.
Oh, okay.
All people born in 1922.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
Did she have stories?
You know what?
Dude, we asked her.
We were sitting at, we had her birthday luncheon, and then the next day she came over for brunch.
She's 100.
She's not going to stay out late.
So we did a luncheon, then a breakfast.
And the lady that set it up, my freaking ass fiance's aunt kathleen goes what's the
secret what's the secret to living to 100 she goes you know what i love my husband jerry oh that's
nice she goes i'm not kidding that's it and i go fuck man that's cool when it was jerry pat
i think i think he actually lived quite a while too.
He was a healthy guy. I think maybe he made it to 92.
But was born before her, so maybe
15, 12 years ago. Something like that.
Those are good genes. Great genetics.
Yeah, let's go.
Let's go.
What did you guys say after she said that?
We all just went...
Has she dated anyone since?
She has not, but
people fuck in old people homes.
People fuck.
They do.
Old people fuck.
Dude, and here's the thing.
You're basically living in a hotel on vacation the whole time when you're old.
You've got like a sick ass, I don't think they do buffet.
At least the home that I went to, I haven't been to many old people homes.
But maybe that's not the right word to say.
Is it convalescent home?
What do you say?
I think you're getting retirement.
Retirement community.
Yeah.
Our demo in their 80s is going to push back on you.
Yeah.
I don't want to be ageist, dude.
I want to be the first comic canceled for ageism, dude.
But anyway, dude, fucking,
dude, you're living a vacation lifestyle.
They have happy hour.
They've got games.
They got everyone single, dude. I think they fuck, dude. living a vacation lifestyle. They have happy hour. They've got games. They got everyone single, dude.
I think they fuck, dude.
Oh, big time.
STDs are rampant in old people homes.
I had a sick thought once when I was with my grandma.
And she was really lonely.
Her husband Wendell passed away in like 1970 or something like that.
Whoa.
And I don't know if she ever got drilled since then.
And I remember one time I was with her. This was a true thought I thought i had i was with her and i used to visit her a lot i loved
my grandma and then um i looked at her and i was like i'll bang you just to like just love dude
just to give you that feeling i was like i love you so much and i wouldn't but i had that thought
and i felt good about the thought i was like i would bang you to help you feel better dude i love that i didn't make an offer or anything but
the thought alone warmed my heart there are some mini windows in there where you're like oh wow
like look at the shape of this carrot yeah it was like oh you want pumper nickel on your on your
sandwich do you want a little pumper nickel dude old people love pumper nickel bread they do one time i've ever heard of pumper nickel i think i took her to in and out we just went on
a date yeah dude i love that but i didn't drill dude dates with old people younger generation
listening to them you know i'm a history guy talk to old people man it's a great resource dude go
visit them dude it's pretty incredible i i interviewed my grandpa before he died just for
like a class project but he gave me this whole life story it was awesome dude they'll give it
to you unfiltered yeah dude you did a great is this something mentionable you did a great
stand-up showcase at at a oh i don't know if it was great dude i watched i watched it look i
watched um chris gardner said i really enjoyed it We did stand up at my grandma's old folks home.
She did enjoy it.
We filmed it, but we ended up getting banned.
They never let us back.
Why?
What was the reasoning?
Everyone was doing like blue material.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Chris Gardner.
Agents.
Who's African-American was up there.
And then this old, you know, it was a mostly, it was a South OC.
So mostly white old folks home.
He gets up there. He's not being any more, old folks home. He gets up there.
He's not being any more outrageous than anyone else.
He's just talking.
And I'm filming in the back, and an old white lady gets up,
walks by me, and just goes, what's he hollering about?
Oh, my God.
And walked out.
Jesus.
Chris was a pro.
One of the funniest guys ever.
He was on this pod.
And he just kept pushing.
Yeah, that was fun. My grandma really enjoyed that. was nice she's a sweet sweet lady dude i watched band of
brothers bro good show bro don't even fucking are you trying to make me cream my shorts dude
yeah dude and well aaron are you creaming are you by the way by the way we have uh we have a gopro
it's in my truck i forgot to bring it in but But we have an Aaron cam that a generous stoker who works at GoPro gave it to us in San Jose.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Dude, for draft apps, let's go.
We're going to set up an Aaron cam for draft apps.
Aaron, I think you might have to use the selfie stick.
And just on a pic, you just load it up to your face and then just show your reaction.
But don't be
actory yeah i'm not gonna does gopro have a does it have a night vision filter so it can feel like
a sex tape dude good call can we do that can we do that that'd be nice to watch or maybe uh maybe
a heat uh thermal yeah some thermal scope predator scope so you can see the jizz in his pants dude
yeah we see you see aaron he's turning Dude, yeah. You see Aaron just turn white. He's saying it's a black light.
Room Raiders.
Oh, yeah.
Maybe it has to have a blue light so you can just see the squirt from his dong when someone does a John Carpenter movie.
Did you want to know something?
You want to know something?
Now, I was going to maybe say this for my legend, but I'm just going to fucking burn
it right now because I've been thinking about it.
Commercial music kicks ass think about like kiss or even imagine dragons we live on these bands
but bro just think if you went into like and this is part of what's his name speech um tom morello
speech from his uh rock and roll hall of fame for Kiss. It's so good. Yeah.
Listen to that piece if you've never heard it because it's amazing.
But bro, commercial music,
like imagine if you saw Imagine Dragons,
maybe that's why their band name
has the words Imagine in it,
at like a hundred person venue.
You'd be like, bro,
this is the fucking best thing I've ever seen.
You'd be like, this is the fucking,
I was just listening to that song like,
I'm never changing who I am yeah yeah it's time to
begin it's so fucking good no they're great it just gets overplayed dude because of advertising
and dollars dude my media literacy what up well and it's easy to pick on people for being corny
but i think that's just like it's cheap criticism criticism. Get paid, bro. What are you?
You're going to fucking use your skill and talents not to get paid?
Go get paid.
And sorry that it does get over saturated.
But dude, if you saw them in a fucking cool setting.
No, it's the fact that they are in a real band that makes people criticize them once they get that success.
Because you can feel them like playing for that.
But you're right.
Like, just like Marilla says, like if you walked into a bar and you just saw those guys rocking
on stage like if you saw kiss in the boots in the makeup yeah doing detroit rock city you would be
fucking electrified best night of your life best night of your life you talk about it forever you
bring it up at your funeral you bring it up at every wedding it'd be it happened did you know what gets me going is uh thunderstruck yeah bro little acdc let's go baby yeah i like to drink to that little
little uh black betty did a little oh no that's not no they do uh back in black sorry sorry sorry
but black betty also a great fucking song yeah that is a good song all songs that go well in
movies too no i agree with you i think top 40 is the best music. Like I'll always think that that's the coolest.
And with music more so than like movies or something,
I have like very broad taste.
So I just want a banger that's going to get me fired up.
Amen.
And music like, I don't know,
I'll listen to like Pavement and stuff like that
and like Smarter Rock.
And it doesn't set me off enough.
Yeah, I always get kind of upset at
slower kind of you know alternative rock because i'm just like i'm like it's not it's not getting
my juices going it's not getting me amped i like stuff that i the same thing i just like music that
gets me amped i don't care who it could be in sync bye bye bye gets me fired up yeah i listened to
tearing up my heart on the way to
the airport today and i was fired i was like acting like i was in a boy band video yeah just
like thinking what would my face look like if i was telling a girl that yeah dude i i do the same
thing i'll do sprints and i'll just picture the love of my life and i'll just you know be on my
knees singing a tour and i do when you're
sprinting are you sprinting hills or are you just sprinting flat i do the 3.0 incline respect so
you're on a machine then yeah although i do that there's a a hill outside of my duplex that i do
sprint on get a nice bronze going i go shirtless you got the best duplex ever, dude. It's a dank one.
In case anyone's listening, dude, and your stoke meter's low, just listen to this.
Although, dude, I do have a beef with my duplex that'll come up later.
Oh, is it the people that live next to you?
No, but that's always my beef, though. Yeah, dude, bro.
They got bad energy, dude.
They got bad energy.
We still haven't spoken.
Dude, you've been living there how many years now dude i was reading my book laying outside and this
motherfucker is just spraying his like doormat with a hose and it's like coming over the fence
and shit no acknowledgement just fucking spraying his shit they won't talk to anyone though i'd be
surprised if they talk to anyone other than each other yeah like i bet you their parents come by and it's just a silent affair yeah like i don't
know what they're i don't know anything about all their names i don't know what they do dude you got
biblical shit going on over there like love that neighbor type stuff like you're really being
challenged to love your neighbor dude although dude i was at an open mic the other day and
these guys are like i don't know it's funny seeing these like
clearly sexually frustrated guys just be like he's a cuck he's a cuck you're like yeah dude
you also haven't been laid in like a few months yeah probably like a few years so like relax
the cucks come out no i get it i get it yeah and all the like insult guys are like cuck is trending on twitter he's a cock
he's a big cock and you're like all right dude they're like you can never let a woman do you
like that you can never let a woman get that yeah and i'm like well have you ever like been in a
relationship with someone like they're pushing pool i'm not saying you let someone just you know
have sex with whoever they want and talk about it but like it is funny like when i was going
through my relationship problems um like a year ago and i was at an open mic talking about the guys were
freaking out they're like you can't let her do that yeah you gotta do this you gotta do that i
was like you guys all sound insane and then i was being insane too but i could hear the insanity in
their voice no no you weren't being insane dude you were being logical bro oh i was being because
we all couldn't like dude i
remember i was guilty of this i was like no bro there's no way that's the case but it was the case
yeah and it wasn't that bad of a case but it was uh i was being too understanding yeah i was trying
hard to understand well that's the social media now is so toxic there's so many accounts these
days where it's like a guy, like, you know, like something
his girlfriend did.
And like, and like, it seems like so many like men these days on social media have such
like a toxic view of women where they're just like, she's cheating on you, bro.
You know, it's like, that's like always the thing.
Like you gotta, you gotta let her go.
You know, you gotta break it.
You know what I mean?
She's for the streets, stuff like that.
Yeah.
And you're just like, you're like, I'll just read them.
I'll be like, what is going on?
Dude, I saw the funniest thing in Montana to that point.
I'm walking into a bar and I just hear a guy outside.
He's got his girls in a corner between two bars.
And he's like, do you want to check my phone?
Do you want to go through my messages and check my phone right now?
And the girl goes, she sounded honest too. She's like, you don't understand. I want to go through my messages and check my phone right now and the girl goes like
she sounded honest too she's like you don't understand like i want to trust you i go to the
bar i come out an hour later i'm walking by they're still there and the guy's going this is
the problem with society they tell us just to believe women like what is that and really yeah
and as i was walking by the girl was like she looked as bamboozled as she did earlier.
And then as I walked by, she caught my eye just in the corner.
I didn't know if I was going to do anything.
And I just turned to her and went, no.
You're amazing, bro.
I just gave her the hand under the neck.
I was like, don't listen.
Yeah.
But he was like, it was like gaslighting, basically.
Yeah, of course.
I mean, it's depressing to look at on social media because it just seems like so many so many guys these days are just so like frustrated or like there's just
something wrong yeah in my experience too it's like most people will and i think women do this
with men too well they'll like they create like an overarching kind of like philosophy about how
they all act and like yeah what's wrong with them you know what i mean whether it be like the patriarchy or like or you know the man side is like the men
have been emasculated whatever it is and you're like look most people are inconsistent and kind
of a pain in the ass a lot of the time and you kind of have to give everyone room to do that
and then you work through it with people and see if they can improve or if you guys are compatible
but i don't think you should just be like calling a whole other side something no that's like broken or or yeah or like uh or against you
yeah i mean dude any test you've taken that's multiple choice wherever whenever the word like
always or every and definitely shows up like you eliminate that answer because there's always and and that's the
way to live too of like having that sort of like super pessimistic view of like you know all that's
because in my point of view is is you i feel like i feel like you kind of gotta just give people the
benefit of the doubt because you can't enter a relationship that way where you just have this overarching view of like that like you know you all women cheat or something and stuff because
that's no way to like be in a relationship and it's like and i don't know what that is like
social media is it like too many options these days it's just like it's just so toxic these days
where i'm like you know it doesn't seem like a lot of people online at least are in
like happy relationships, but that doesn't seem to be the case when I step out into the
world.
I think it's just too many people like being, there's too much momentum.
You know what I mean?
Like things catch on and then everyone jumps on and it becomes the truth.
Yeah.
And people aren't pulling back from it and actually like looking at their own lives the way you are and like saying yeah but what is it actually in these so and then also
if you act like that like if you think everything's bad or if you think women are a certain way you're
only stopping yourself from being able to like love someone exactly like you're you you might
be right half the time but the only person you're really hurting yourself you're only hurting
yourself in the end yeah like because then you're going to be stuck in that thinking and then you
don't open up you don't let people get close to you and you don't really fall in love with someone
because you're always thinking that you're going to get fucked over or something yeah and like i
have to tell myself that because i'll think like that sometimes i'm like all i'm doing is short
circuiting these potential relationships yeah and i think too it's like there's people online that
people get advice from on youtube it's like there's people online that people get advice
from on youtube it's like obviously dudes have been hurt and are just sort of like putting their
experience and their feelings onto all these like sort of younger dudes who are just like are like
oh that's the way it is and it's just these guys who have been through you know where you're kind
of like yeah maybe you should take a look at this guy's history and see
what's actually going on with him i mean you know his name is bobby rio no anyone who's made a
youtube video about women and how you have to approach them yeah anyone who have been credible
twice distrust towards that person yeah yeah because they're coming from a very
hurt place yeah no one even if you do get hurt
i think you just you figure out what you did that's the other thing you figure out what you
did wrong when something goes wrong yeah like everyone it's like when you go to a stand-up show
and someone's like my last four boyfriends have all been toxic narcissists and i'm like but who's
the common denominator yeah not even that you're wrong but like what's going on in you that you
keep falling for because i know a lot of guys who aren't that.
Confucius, baby.
Honest introspection.
What's the easiest thing to do?
And it's human nature.
We want to understand things.
We want to compartmentalize.
I get this.
Women, all women do this.
So this is why.
It's why conspiracy theories exist, dude.
It's an easy understanding for things that you don't quite understand.
Yeah.
With the Will Smith thing, we can never fucking be in will smith's head we can hypothesize we can speculate as much
as we want we won't know only he'll know with women we won't know only she will know what she
did to you or trans how she transgressed you what you can control are your thoughts and how you
fucking experience the universe dude some marcus aurelius type shit and it's tough to do and it's maturity yeah and i think the only it's getting
burnt i think the only yeah it takes getting burnt and i think the only thing to listen to
on the internet is alien stuff but i love alien shit yeah yeah it's good i love alien shit dude
we need aliens bro unites us dude nothing better than watching a good alien video.
Are you kidding me, dude?
Nothing better.
I love ancient aliens.
Let's go.
All the guys on there who are like experts are the best.
Fuck yeah.
That ilk of dude is the most amazing guy ever.
I just imagine them pounding 12 coffees a day and just dissect you know it's conspiratorial and i
love that aspect of it i take it as entertainment i don't buy into it as like this is the facts
oh i do really yeah you think they're where aliens came and visited let me tell you this
i am 100 think there are aliens a billion percent dude there's aliens at the bottom of our own ocean
a fucking bobcat's an
alien what the fuck is that have they been here from another planet i don't know i don't know
about that but i i believe one million percent there's aliens did i i'm gonna say that i think
they're here i think they're you know they're flying around they're saying what up and we just
have to say what about i only well yeah i think there's one in this room right now uh yeah i watch i think you're right because i watch one youtube channel
and it's an alien talking about dating and he says how you have to deal with women from his
planet yeah and dude super informative man dude that's probably a good perspective to have because
he's not taking his past human experiences he's taking his alien experience and he says you got
to check those broads yeah he doesn't let any
of the like he his keys to his spaceship those are his dude you don't get to borrow the whip
well what do you say about the will smith thing you think he thought will was justified he thought
he thought will needs to break up with jada
like the most backwards view but technologically the comedians who made jokes about it chris
distefano had a
great joke where he's like will and jada's relationship is so toxic they clearly need
to break up will just needs to come out and admit that he's gay and be happy and jada just needs to
move on to the next soul she eats exactly exactly he drilled it he sent that funny tweet where he's
like um he's like you have to win win Oscars to do this kind of shit.
After I win, I'm going to slap the shit out of a few people.
50 Cent's hilarious.
His Twitter is really...
He's amazing.
Dude, he took all the fat shaming he went through after the Super Bowl.
He took it really well.
He made merch out of it and shit.
He's hilarious.
I think 50 Cent like knows who he is.
Oh, yeah.
I think that's what came through from the beginning.
Is that like he was very confident and comfortable in his skin.
Yeah.
Jay-Z has that too.
They don't look like there's any kind of discomfort in any situation.
Like I feel like they'd be comfortable anywhere.
Totally.
I think that's true of rappers i think that's a sort of a if there's any common thread between rapping
and comedy is it's knowing yourself because you need to have a point of view if you're rapping
without a point of view what the fuck's going on yeah you're done what the fuck are you doing
if you're doing comedy out of point of view the fuck are you doing you're never gonna make it
anywhere you're done and i think too like view, the fuck are you doing? You're never going to make it anywhere. You're done. And I think too,
like the life experience thing
we talked about,
those guys have
unique life experiences
that inform them.
I was thinking about
all the rap songs
about airplane food.
Right.
If they did the same thing
stand-ups talked about.
Yeah.
Observational rap.
Did Julia Fox,
Julia Fox came out with another banger was he said
at the like uh variety was asking really like so what's next for you and she's like oh my book
i don't like to talk about it because i'm like very superstitious and i don't like to talk about
things before they're done but i can just say that so far it's a masterpiece nice i love that it better be dude i do love that bro yeah and dude
julia fox crushes it in uncut jams yeah and dude when you said that i listened to that probably a
billion times it's amazing a billion times amazing i like her i should get her on the how do you not
love how do you not love julia fox yeah dude i didn't know you were superstitious you mentioned
that to forte like the numbers stuff i have oh i look at numbers yeah yeah i didn't know you were superstitious you mentioned that to forte like the numbers stuff i have super oh i look at numbers yeah yeah i didn't know you look for like what are your numbers
bro yeah uh three three three really it's related to like you know it's it's like rooted in like all
this sort of manifestation shit but but ever since i was you know ever since i was like a teen if i
i don't really have the same word if i saw you know if i saw 13 and stuff and like
numbers like that and then i if i see if i see certain numbers i'll sort of be like oh that's
indicative of like good things coming or you know i need to like it'll scare me but yeah i don't
know i'm just i'm very kind of ocd about all that wait do you have bad numbers or do you have good
numbers mostly good numbers yeah i have good i don only have good numbers i don't have bad numbers uh my good numbers are one eight
and five one eight and five those are my good numbers yeah i'm three two three um i'm just
about a lot of that stuff like i think if i see if i see a cat crossing the road black cat
i won't cross its path i'll turn around and I'll find another really yeah whoa mirrors scare the shit out of me I'm just I think I'm
just OCD about certain stuff I don't know if it's superstitious but I'm like
if I'm like jacking off too much or doing too much drugs I'm like I don't
think my life's going in a good direction right well what's the number of jacking off well what's the number
put a number on it and let's talk about it yeah how many times did you jack off is it five if i
jack off and i and i and i spew three three ropes i'm like this is bad so then three rows
oh three ropes yeah if i spew three ropes i'll be trying I speed three ropes, I'll be feeling really good. Do you try to force a fourth out?
I'll be like, oh no, oh no, oh no.
Oh no, my grandma's going to die today.
I got to jack off again.
Yeah, I call my grandma and I'm like, two problems.
One, I think something bad is going to happen to you.
Two, I don't think I'll be able to have sex with you.
I just busted.
Look at that photo.
Grandma, hey, I just came.
How you doing?
Okay, cool.
You want a
pinochle cool
look grandma
you might die today I don't want to break
if you break your back I'm sorry about that
I just shot three ropes
yeah exactly
did you shoot three ropes again
yeah she's very supportive
she would laugh at that
JT you shot three ropes
JT I told you your grandpa shot four ropes non-stop wendell dude
powerful powerful man buddhist he was a buddhist my grandpa that's cool oh that's awesome yeah he
was a buddhist real estate guy and he was in the manhattan chess club oh well it's good
that'd have been cool he didn't fight in the war but no he wasn't helping with the a-bomb yeah but they're making a movie out of that christian dude that cast is gigantic
yeah oh dude if he and if he inserts time too much on that i'll fucking punch him in the face
dude oh dude yeah honestly it is a time race though i actually re-watched dunkirk on friday
i've seen it four times it's good but but yeah a los alamos is where they did it and
that's near san jose no santa fe so whenever i go on hikes with my mom we'll like scout out
los alamos but you can't really get in there i want to go in i know but i don't really know what
i'd find just a bunch of nerds fucking die wait what's los alamos is that where they that's where
they developed it they came up with new mexico sick sick guys i'm
interrupting this podcast later once again that we have a patreon up patreon.com slash chad goes
deep support the show check out bonus episodes of going deep chat jt each week you can become a
patron and we're bringing it back old school style we also are gonna prioritize questions
on the regular podcast for $10 patrons.
So if you become a $10 patron, then you can DM us your question,
and that will get priority in the regular podcast.
So if you have a question that you really, really want to ask
and you want to get it in there, make sure to become a patron and DM us.
We also have shows coming up.
We're going to be at the Urban Improv tonight, 8 p.m.
It's going to be sick. Irvine Improv tonight 8 p.m it's going to be sick we have tons of shows
coming up we're going to be in Texas, D.C., Michigan lots of new dates coming up check it
out at chadandjt.com we also at the show tonight in Irvine have these incredible shirts from Neff
a really sick clothing brand and it's basically like a cartoonish version of me and JT surfing.
A Going Deep with Chad and JT shirt.
You're going to want to pick it up because it is sick.
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all right let's start the show hey stokes hey stokes a hollis stokeaholics this is elias here
and i recently informed you about my alpha male status and wanted to clear the air on some confusion since um he saw justin bieber
documentary he's never been the same seeing all those girls chase him opened his second grade
mind to a world unknown from that point on i've been perfecting my craft i don't want to sound
cocky but i am capable of pulling in almost any tail i want being six five helps a great deal but girls aren't all what life's about and i'm just
wondering what i can do with this mastery i think it's the dude from the gator episode right um
well like gator's friend said why are you asking us for advice
yeah i think you got this, man.
It sounds like you got the keys to the universe.
Just enjoy it.
Yeah, quit bragging.
But it's good to hear from you again, man.
Yeah, thanks for writing in.
I'm going to keep texting, dude.
Shut up.
Well, this is interesting.
Small tongue.
There's something that's been bothering me when I hook up with the babes. I have a small tongue, which drains my stoke when eating out.
I like to make sure a woman's needs are taken care of and I enjoy eating
out.
My stop.
My small tongue has made me self-conscious though.
I mean,
my dong is above average,
which is dope.
But when I eat a girl out,
it feels like my tongue is not enough.
Let me draw a picture of how small I have to use my pinky.
When taking a jello shot,
small,
my tongue will not reach the bottom of the shot.
I was wondering if you guys have any tips or tricks to make the ladies experience better.
I've tried my best to support the body positivity movement in raising awareness for small dongs.
I'd be so stoked if you dudes can include small tongues in the movement or help me in starting one.
Also, shout out to my buddy G-String.
Love G-String.
Do you guys mind if I step in here?
Yeah.
I would say he might be conflating here.
And as being, if I dare say so,
the d'Artagnan of darting,
when you are performing cunnilingus,
is what she's talking about,
you are not doing deep stimulation that is a more of a surface level stimulation so honestly you're sort of um i think he's in
his own head here or maybe he needs to switch up his uh methodology but you don't have to be going deep and penetrating uh while darting you are targeting the um look without
getting too graphic i don't want to get too graphic but you you don't need to be too much
okay getting in there you need to be on the upper you know more towards the belly button
doing stuff up there and targeting that area and you could
be doing some simultaneous stuff but a short tongue should not inhibit you from performing
pleasure in a sufficient manner dude i actually had this issue when i was in when i was younger
my tongue was too attached to the bottom of my mouth. Oh, so that's interesting. So I was limited.
I couldn't stick my tongue out very far.
So when I was in college, I was like, that's weird.
I guess I can't stick my tongue out very far.
It was like that.
That's all you need, bro.
That's all I need.
You don't need more than that.
But I'm just saying, you know, he might have the same condition where the dentist cut the thing.
Yeah.
So now I can stick my tongue out more.
It hurt my articulation and everything. now I can stick my tongue out more.
It hurt my articulation and everything.
I couldn't move my tongue that way. Whoa, dude.
I didn't know that.
So there could be a medical procedure that could get him where he wants to go.
It could be a medical procedure.
But then on top of that, I just got to say, you know,
don't be in your head so much.
You got to place all your energy on your target.
And, you know. I'm going know call it a target yeah yeah and just focus on loving
it and treating it like it's your favorite kind of pie for me it's lemon meringue well your lemon
meringue yeah for me it's lemon meringue and I just go in there and I'm like I'm just like I'm
just going to town on this lemon meringue although I don't even think about lemon meringue I'm just going to town on this lemon meringue. Although I don't even think about lemon meringue. I'm just saying I apply that same kind of energy towards it.
I love the tang itself.
So I just get in there and you just focus all the kind of love you can on it.
And if you inject passion into your darting, they're going to notice.
Yeah, I think that's right.
And I think every girl is different too.
You figure out a person and then you take those moves to the next person
and they don't always line up.
I think the thing that you just got to work on figuring out what works for that person.
And I think that's just over time, baby.
You just get to work on figuring out what works for that person. And I think that's just over time, baby. You just get to know them.
And then I think a lot of that stuff is comfort.
If the person feels comfortable with you.
So if they think you're putting in max effort and you really enjoy it,
I think they'll give you some pointers along the way to help you guys both feel good about what's going down.
When you go down.
Yeah.
On that little mound.
And pointers.
Of clitoris. Hey hey pointers during sex you know
guys can maybe take that in a negative way dude that's open honest communication take that in the
real time oh a little to the left a little this baby be fired up on that means you're getting
close means you're almost there you're playing fucking super mario you know what i mean you're almost rescuing princess beach while freaking and going down on that peach oh so get in there baby that
ref don't let that don't let that get you down let that get you up yeah i was gonna say i was
thinking more of like a starfox but i love starfox you know yeah i was thinking starfox
you're trying to rescue Slippy that works
you're playing as Falco
I always played as Falco
I was thinking of Taken
and like her vagina got kidnapped
by armed forces
by Albanian sex traffickers
you gotta kill them all
they need to go down
I'd like to see you in action with that mentality
me yeah like going down on someone or killing albanians well with the going down on someone
with the idea that they're albanian sex traffickers and you have to kill them that is what it looks
like when i'm going down on someone i mean i think you need to do that i think when you're
going down on someone you need to say good luck not coming put on a leather jacket like
the Liam Neeson and get in there I go down there and I'm like give me back my daughter you piece
of and then she's like who are you talking to you know I'm talking to you do JT you do the
monologues you do a lot of monologues from films while going I do mutter to myself a lot I mean all
the time but even during well do you sort of look in the general area of where the clitoris is you're like i will
find you yeah i'm like i will find you i have a specific set of skills yeah that would be fun i
will find you clitoris i will find you i found you but it's it's yeah i think it's just a just
a time game baby you'll get there
yeah and it's just his tongue he just thinks he has a short tongue and i think it's good he's
bringing attention to that like there's probably a lot of guys out there who don't know who to talk
to about having a small tongue and it's nice that you came forward and were vulnerable about it
no i literally had that insecurity in college like i was like why is my tongue so short and i went to
a dentist and he was like he was like my
dog it's attached to the bottom of your mouth and he just cut that shit wow did anyone ever make fun
of you about it no what was it like no one ever really noticed no i it was it was a something i
put on myself right you never went down on any of your bros and they never noticed that your tongue
was short no but we're kind of the same like thing where it's like you don't really we didn't really air out our issues
for sure um so as clown was you know made a comment to me hammered once um where he was just
like yeah it's not like when you go down on me bro and i was like what what
yeah that makes sense yeah that's literally the interaction that makes me baby um all right i'm a
good guy but i did a bad thing me and my girl were together for close to five years met in college
and had a great relationship i felt the relationship went stale. We didn't have that fire that we once had
and we were only 24 years old. I didn't have a great job at the time and my self-esteem was in
the gutters. I found myself drinking too much and spiraling into a depression I didn't know I was
heading towards. Me and the boys took a trip to Nashville. To no surprise, I drank too much and
took a pill from a stranger, Molly, worst decision of my life.
During this uncontrollable experience from this drug, I had sex with a female.
When I got back to my girlfriend, I was overcome with anxiety, guilt, and depression.
I came clean and told her everything.
She packed her bags and moved away.
She won't answer any text messages or calls.
I am now hearing rumors that she is telling people I had a three-month relationship with this mystery Nashville girl.
Not true. How should I deal with this? this i love her but is the damage done is there no hope for a
future relationship should i call her out for the rumors i did a bad thing but i'm a good guy
please keep anonymous so he hooked up with someone on molly is that what you're saying
yeah and he came clean like almost right away and then he's like now he doesn't know if he should
keep trying to fight to get her back and she's telling people now then he's like now he doesn't know if he should keep trying to fight to get her back
and she's telling people now that he was like uh cheating on her for like three months with
with this girl so here's the thing i don't believe him in his email because he's like oh i did molly
and like hooked up with a random no no no no no no no i think his girlfriend's correct i think that he was texting this girl
did molly got a little looser than he ordinarily would have
like fucking um allowed himself to do this via this drug and did go cheat on this girl because
there was probably text messages otherwise why would this girl why would his girlfriend be like
you did this for three months?
Because it's a pretty specific number.
Or he waited to tell her for three months.
And then that's why she thinks it's been going on.
Yeah, yeah.
That could all be true.
There's another scenario where he could have like done it
and then, oh, this has been going on for three months
since the hookup.
Yeah.
But yeah, yeah.
That's believable. that's believable.
But like when I, when I,
when I was like hooking up with two people at the beginning of COVID and I told one of the girls about the other girl and she freaked out, she,
she had every right to be upset. I mean, I wasn't lying to her.
I didn't say I was in an exclusive relationship with her and I told her I was
seeing other people, but she was still really hurt, which I totally understand.
I was leading her on even if i was giving her
the facts but she did proceed to like make up a lot of details about it like and i don't begrudge
her for i mean i was upset about in the moment and but i was like you know what she's hurt
she's gonna react to it the way she does but she did have like an uh she was so hurt that she expanded her hurt
expanded the details of it to make me sound like the girl the other girl was like younger she made
her even younger yeah right right i was like yes yes and and and there was other things that she
made up that just made me look like such a douche. So I do think there is, he could be telling the truth about her.
And let's take this email for what it is.
Let's not, I shouldn't be hypothesizing outside of that.
So let's just say that he's correct.
But you are right that he said,
I had sex with a female and it's like, well,
so you just picked up a girl that night?
Like that, but it does happen too.
It does happen, does happen, does happen.
Never, not much in my life
it's maybe one time in my whole life but yeah nash vegas oh he's in vegas nash vegas that's
what they call nashville okay well then okay then it could happen there okay so let's say that
he's a good guy he needs a little bit of help does he want this girl back is that what he wants he
wants his girlfriend back i don't know he says how should i deal with this i love her but is the damage done is there no hope for a future
relationship should i call her out for the rumors so i don't know if he wants her back
it sounds like he's that sounds like he wants a safe face it sounds like he's like he's got
different he's feeling a lot yeah i think i would um maybe you both were looking for a way out.
And I would just maybe, you know, let things settle a little bit.
Yeah.
Because it sounds like the relationship wasn't going that well.
You know, it was like nearing its end.
So maybe it was just sort of like, you know, your guys ways of you know she's like okay that
that gave me the the pass i need to leave and him it's just maybe he was subconsciously like i want
to get out of this maybe this is you know and that's what happened uh in terms of calling her
out for it i don't know i mean will that stop it no i think you just get into a you're just gonna give it more
size yeah yeah i think i would just i would just live your life let things settle and and let time
pass and heal yeah that's that's the move and like if if someone if you made a mistake and the other
person's upset at you and they're going over the top in their upsetness of your mistake again to
what we talked about earlier you just you you made a mistake like when you step on a grenade there's shrapnel and
like that yeah it doesn't make it okay but i think you're right like the relationship wasn't
gonna work he cheated for a reason exactly i think and you don't want to cheat don't cheat
in your next relationship yeah yeah because then people really to be honest with yourself why'd you
cheat why'd you leave? Dissect that.
Really look into it.
Yeah.
And just because you've been together for five years doesn't mean you can't...
You're not allowed to walk away.
You're only 24.
Yeah, correct.
Yeah, he's still young.
People will judge your life.
You got to live it, man.
People do that on their way out a lot too.
Yeah.
Like cheat to...
Force them.
To force the breakup.
Yeah. Yeah. And he's young too it sounds like it i'm sure he'll find someone who's much more compatible with and and they'll uh and then
he'll you know do the take and role play thing with her and it'll be you know much more effective
that does sound good.
Yeah, maybe hit up this girl you hooked up with when you were on Molly and see where she's at.
Dude, you've been texting for three months.
I'm kidding.
That's probably true.
I do believe that.
I believe that more readily than,
oh, you fucking hooked up
and then this three months thing went on
and got called out.
Nah.
He said he came clean right after.
That's what made me think it.
Yeah, I think people don't well i don't know look i'm watching summer he cheated which is a lie so it's difficult
for us to take what you say as truth because you are a confirmed liar and and good for you for
coming out on that that's the step in the right direction yeah i don't mean to come down on your heart but that's what that is it's deceit it is sure i'm sorry bro but it is yeah but yeah i guess i just
don't know why he would lie to us though if he's anonymous in the email too i do because he lies to
himself we lie to ourselves more than we lie to anyone else. 100%. I believe he believes every word he's typing.
Could be true.
Yeah.
All right.
What up, Stokers?
Want to start off by saying I love the pod and have watched pretty much every episode.
I appreciate y'all for being great vibes to my week.
That being said, I'm having a small crisis in my apartment.
I'm currently studying abroad and I'm living with two of my closest buddies from college.
They both have girlfriends back home, meaning that they spend their days and nights
on facetime with them and rarely go out i anticipated our time abroad to be three of
us hitting the streets and boosting each other's stoke but now i am left solo most nights to figure
out how to secure a seven plus with no assistance mostly to no avail how can i keep my stoke up and
deal with two schmoles that i live with thanks bros aren't there other bros in the program you can kick it with
yeah I think uh this is a good opportunity for you dude you just get out there on your own and
see what you can do I think uh you know it sucks your bros aren't involved but
you're you're gonna learn to sink
or swim just by yourself which i think is a good gift yeah like yeah and you got this you might not
be able to do as much work as you would if you had your full team with you but i think you can
still go out there and and have a couple nights that that surprise you word i think it's harsh calling them schmoles yeah they're not
schmoles they're trying to keep something you know something alive that is a hard time when you
have that much distance and you're young like it's hard to keep going so they do need to they
do need to come out and hang out though like i'm not going to argue that either though they need to fucking hang out do some shit yeah all right chad you ready yes sir who is your
beef of the week my beef of the week is with my plumbing system
okay so i'm gonna have some issues with my plumbing started probably about three weeks ago
there's some bubbling coming up the toilet wasn't flushing so i had the plumber come out
he's like oh there's some uh some roots in the main run main line i pulled them out i was like
all right sick fast forward to uh last friday toilets bubbling again. And I'm like, interesting.
I thought the plumber fixed this.
And then Sunday
morning, I
am washing dishes, using
a lot of water because I have a lot of dishes to
wash.
And washing dishes, using a lot of water.
And I come out and my toilet bowl is just
like full.
I'm like, oh and then i use the washer which uses even more water and it drains the water
through the system through the main line and i'm watching band of brothers sick mini series
and i start hearing you know the splash of an overflowing
toilet and now it wasn't clear water guys this was shit water yeah yikes and it's like splashing i'm
like oh fuck gross but then it stops but then the washer keeps going and then it just starts really coming out and i'm talking i had a river full of shit water
coming out of my bathroom and i couldn't stop it like i turned off the water line in the
on the toilet you know that didn't stop it it was fully clogged so a bunch of doo-doo water
is just coming out of the toilet and i can't stop it and so it just keeps coming and coming
and it's going in my room it's going in the office it's going down the hallway and i was just like i was like this is
horrific yeah but the thing is i was watching band of brothers and i was so into the story
where i was just sitting there i was like this is so dank do i finish this mini series and then
tend to the shit river that's over there and i gotta tell you
i went for 15 extra minutes nice dude and i cleaned it up but you know what i was not really
pissed off i was more laughing at the situation because it was so horrendous yeah i was like this
is so fucking gross but i felt like i was like oh i was like oh i'm an adult this is what you do
you have a plumbing issue you clean that shit up and i felt like i felt like oh i was like oh i'm an adult this is what you do you have a plumbing issue you
clean that shit up and i felt like i felt like tim allen in home improvement i was like it was like
this is you know this is like this is a rite of passage cleaning up you know a shit lake in your
in your duplex and um cleaned up all the doo-doo water is gross and i swiffered it and uh and i had the plumber company fixed it you're also very
honest about it on zooms yeah like we'd be zooming with people some people you didn't even know that
well yeah anybody hey i'm having a plumbing issue and it's the shit kind i was kind of taking it
back i was like whoa nice dude way to keep it 100 with people yeah you got your apartment manager to pay for all this
right oh of course yeah that's what's nice about renting that's like the one of the few things
that's nice about renting yeah yeah yeah because that would be on me in my yeah my situation but
yeah is it all hardwood yeah okay no it's nice yeah because i was i was imagining carpet and i was like fuck oh dude yeah that never comes i never put carpet in an apartment building no no no well for sound
it's nicer but yeah that's why this one's here but like yeah aaron who's your b for the week
my b for the week is uh going back to the oscars it's with award inconsistency
i don't understand and this is not to not even to take a shot at power of the dog
but i never understand when someone wins best director for a movie that is not the best picture
or best picture but the director's not even nominated i don't understand that i don't it's a director's medium
how does a director win best director and then not win but like how did the how did
coda win best picture and not the director of coda when you know i mean there's look look i
hear what you're saying but there's discrepancies with screenplay and source material and juiciness
of roles and all those types of things that like,
what's the better story to be told?
Like there are better,
there's inherently for the Western eye stories that appeal to us more,
you know?
And,
and I guess if like you are telling an Eastern story,
like what's that fucking great movie that the North,
the Korean director did.
Parasite. Parasite parasite it's a class story class stories in the west or pull yourself up by the bootstrap
and fucking get it done he tells a very different class story that's amazing and it's so fucking
good and granted the class is that's why he won best director and it won best picture well yeah
you know what i'm proving your point i guess but but uh i don't know i think there are inherent discrepancies between better source material and and not and i don't know different
directors can it just it always drives me nuts i go back to saving private ryan spielberg wins
best director it does not win best picture yeah it's horseshit yeah um ben affleck not even being
nominated for argo when it wins best picture it's like i mean bro he directed he felt argo has one good scene dude i like that movie a lot
saw in theaters enjoyed enjoyed myself um but yeah just it never makes sense to me that that happens
how can you say gene campion's the best director this year when the movie didn't win and coda wins and coda arguably
you've got actors who can hear and actors who can't hear there's a lot to wrangle there like
that's a lot of that is how do you establish a tone and a rapport with everybody and a tone
visually and and everything that that directors do when you have some cast that's disabled some
it's not yeah that's a good point is it there
that's a really good point I mean to not even be nominated in that category wasn't I think I don't
believe they were nominated but they definitely didn't win so um Strider who's your B for the
week all right baby I was in the Midwest I'm posting up in the hotel room I'm enjoying myself
had a few itos watching some tv
i'm watching king kong okay with the jack black that peter jackson won fun movie all over the
couple scenes didn't need to be there but and a few too long but overall fun movie commercial
comes on for weather guard weather guard is a floor mat that goes in your car that protects
you you know you're in the snow the sleet whatever it is it keeps a floor mat that goes in your car that protects you you know you're in the snow
the sleet whatever it is it keeps your floor mat safe at the very end of the commercial big old
american flag why do i need that bro and don't get me wrong i love motherfucking flyovers at
stadiums i love when jets go over i love when the stealth bomber flies low i love helicopters i love paratroopers bombing into
stadiums i love it i love america we're the best country in the goddamn world
but do i need it in my advertising dude do i need it do i need a weather guard like what are they
loving about that like dude oh the guts and purchase dude when i get into my car i
fired up on that
you're supporting an american company where yeah i don't even know if they're american it is it is
that's i've seen that commercial a thousand times okay you've seen it yeah yeah all right okay so
maybe that's what they're dialing into weather tech this is what i need yeah it's weather tech
yeah but why do they need to say that they're american aren't there is toyota better at making weather tech shit for your car no weather tech is completely uh aftermarket but it's interesting
that it's weather tech like what if it was a like a um uh antidepressant that's like hey man we'll
make you pass out for 364 days of the year besides the fourth of fucking july baby you wake up and
you fucking remember what it is to be free well i'm like yeah that would be a weird you know what I mean I'm like to stamp the USA on but yeah yeah hey nationalism
what led to world war one you know what I'm saying I'm like baby and two so all I'm saying is and
three we got the best country in the world I don't need it it's the same with the Pepsi stuff I feel
like it's stepping there it's it's it's but maybe hey but maybe if you lean it feels a little bit right
leaning to me but honestly sure it i feel like that is the right way to lean because if you lean
left it's like what do you get hey these are hd tactical glasses that fucking interpret articles
from the other perspective very well and you can understand an argument quite saliently uh you can you can see the author's
background immediately and understand if they have an agenda so i do understand it but i'm like
baby just fucking tell me what your product does right that's it that's all i'm saying yeah just
tell me what you fucking do right but i i think they are trying to obviously appeal to people's
no totally totally to appeal to people's hey it's um, totally, totally. Appeal to people's,
hey, this is one thing I made in the USA.
Great.
Amen.
USA rips.
USA rips.
All I'm saying is when you advertise,
tell me what you do right.
My Beef of the Week is,
it was gonna be with young people on the dance floor,
sorry guys, but I already talked about it.
So now my Beef of the Week is gonna be with zillow the the real estate you know you can just like look at someone's house and it'll tell
you how much it's worth that's insane yeah but that's just like i know when i was growing up
that was like the rudest thing you could do is ask someone how much their house costs and now
you can just zillow it and i guess in some states you're not allowed to do it like it's not
city records and there's like a reason you are able to do it to keep people from like
artificially juicing up prices but i don't know i think it's too far you should not be able to
look at someone's house and know how much it's worth yeah if it's not for sale yeah that's crazy
yeah if it's for sale yeah no that makes sense better maybe it is weird but if it's just some
random dude's house and you're just like bang i'm like no it should just come up and be like it should just
say mind your business and then you just keep moving it's like dude not your problem it's
dude i hear you on that man i'm all for that that's that's pretty whack joe showed it to me
we were just walking home we were talking about home prices because they're so insane in la
i was thinking this too.
How much do you think a van on any West Hollywood street, if it was just a van, but you could
live in it legally, how much do you think that van would sell for?
Oh, bro.
It can be parked there the whole time?
It can be parked there the whole time, like a house, but it's a van.
Dude, probably $300,000.
That's what I thought, half a million dollars. Yeah yeah i think that van would cost half a million dollars dude no i agree with that
it's insane the size of like a studio yeah it's not that different it'd be kind of sick too because
you could just drive off during the day and just be dope as hell yeah you don't even need a jockey
for street parking on like wednesday or thursday yeah it's amazing chad
who's your babe of the week uh my baby of the week is my dank ass gf nice um she's into fashion
so she's gonna i was like you gotta style me so she's gonna style me we started off we went to
malibu we went to some shops we got some cool ass pants and a cool ass shirt more of a miami look
that i can you know i was like this is this is for like for you it's for like when we get like Got some cool ass pants and a cool ass shirt. More of a Miami look.
I can, you know, it's like, this is for like, this is for like when we get like sushi or steak
or go to Miami, you know, some like nicer pants.
And yeah, she's gonna make me look fly.
I love fashion.
I love being stylish.
And she's gonna amp it up times 10,
which I'm stoked on.
But not too, I'm still gonna maintain my self in the process
but i think it's just she's gonna be like this these are the cool ass companies check this shit
out dude that's dang this is gonna be vastly i'm already laughing because i know how vastly
inappropriate it's gonna be so forgive me in advance this is gonna be vastly inappropriate okay i'd pay money
to watch you guys bone in good outfits keeping your outfits on so it's tasteful that's how cool
i think you guys are that's really nice dude dude it's vastly inappropriate but dude i dude i believe
it coming from the core of my being i'd pay a lot of money for that too dude yeah for the audio listeners i'm making a face of just pure jubilee
see it's it's inappropriate but it's kind of a compliment you can slap him right now
oh dude if you slap me i'd get hard dude no i did what you shouldn't slap what if will smith
sack tapped him dude if he backed him this was this bro i forgot to say this was my idea i think
you should have just made him flinch yeah if he would have just done the fist and made him flinch
you own someone for life after that yeah you just would have done that and chris rock probably would
have done it and then if chris rock stands tall you just got to give him respect yeah that's tight
that's a great call make him flinch but yeah that's cool man but yeah well i'll bone for you guys and
well i'll check with her first and dude i can't wait to see what you get what
yeah yeah yeah it's got to be all consensual i would never you know i would i would give you
my sum of money and then you would agree we're not gonna american pie it with some like webcam
thing that gets leaked yeah yeah yeah and if she's if she's yeah i won't i'll just i'll she
would see what she says but dude i can't wait to see your
outfits i'm fired up thanks dude that's gonna be sick thanks man yeah um yeah yeah do you think
do you think you love her so much that she could give you an article of clothing that you wouldn't
traditionally like that you might be into i think uh i think well i think we're on such a level of understanding
where she would know she i think she understands you trust her to know you she understands my
style so much what would be the most difficult article of clothing for you to accept um like a
turtleneck although i do one of those hats that has like the the brim around it one of
those maybe like a vest yeah vest is tough i think not not not like a north face one but more of like
a you know like a part of a three-piece suit yeah or like a life vest because you like something
like a pickup artist wears which guy like a life vest because chad's on the boat he can swim he can handle himself thanks dude that's why i thought titanic was so offensive yeah i do remember your reaction to that
film when they found the life that you were like dude you were in the illustration scene everything
the life vest came on you were like james cameron what the fuck are you doing yeah yeah i took
serious offense that because i was like dude wim hof will tell you that's really good for you to
be in that water dude if anything he should have just been swimming laps.
Dude, can you imagine if Wim Hof was on the Titanic?
He's like, the cold is teaching me so much.
No, you stay on the wood.
I have never felt so revitalized.
Everyone calm down in the water.
It's good for you.
The cold is our greatest teacher.
This brings you vitality i have
my own wood all right now you can't have that guy on that boat he'd sink it just to get everybody
into the cold yeah yeah wim hof is the one driving it he's like he's like we need to find an iceberg
he's going straight for the iceberg yeah the cold is your teacher and everyone's like we're dying
please get us out of here and that rescue boat comes he's like the only one your teacher and everyone's like we're dying please get us out of here
and the rescue boat comes
he's like the only one
still alive
and they're like
Wim get in the boat
he's like
shut up
and bro
I'm swimming to the mainland
he could blow that whistle
so well
his lung capacity
is strong
yeah
he's the man
Aaron
who's your babe of the week
my babe of the week
is
again another thing not to
be lost in the uh oscars this year it's the year of the boobs man everybody had him out this year
really i'm sorry to be crass but holy shit i mean every what films let's go no just all the women
had oh you mean at the oscars the fashion show themselves yeah
everybody it was like everybody had him spread and low cut and even schumer had him let's go in
their opening dress it was like that's crazy hey and there and there was one point where um
when will smith was giving his acceptance speech for the Oscar and he, he was, you know,
saying something nice about the Williams sisters and they cut to them and
they had to put a graphic up because the Venus's nipple was showing.
Really?
Yeah.
Did that be funny for his speech?
He's like,
I want to apologize to the Academy,
to all the women out here.
This was a big night for boobs.
I overshadowed it with my slap
shredder he's your baby of the week dude maybe the week's gotta be my dank ass fiance dude
she's just been a legend dude she's been working and doing grad school for so long and she's she's
getting to that point where she's almost done she's gonna
push through summer and it's just impressive man i gotta tell you dude she comes home she
greets the dog we fucking smooch you know we chill for a second we catch up and dude she's
out in the bed because she's she's grinding so hard so just just for her for being a beast
dude getting it done dude being the change she wants to see in herself and everything she's
awesome thank you dude we got a double date dude yeah i honestly dude when we double date you're
invited oh that's nice man no no i'm for real dude that's come imagine that dinner dude all of us and
dude bring someone to if you want to i'll bring i would fucking love that dude
that'd be a fun night where should we go oh uh taco play a petty cash petty cash great fun fun
chad who's your legend of the week uh my legend of the week is my uh buddies alex and noah
uh iverson and noah that called my frat bros.
They're just,
they're beasts. We would rage back in the Santa Clara days and
Alex lived next to me and
we would just crush beer dye
together and, you know, just
really get mimosas and just
have,
he was a good neighbor.
They're starting this new,
they're entering into the crypto space.
This new project, Super Good Dicks.
I'm just super stoked on for them.
That's like, and I'm sort of like,
just pumping it up because I'm so psyched for them.
It's this Super Good Dicks.
But it's actually sick what they're doing.
So yeah, I just want to give them
a shout out send love their way super good dicks stoked if you want to check it out super good
dicks.com check out these dudes and their dank new uh crypto nft project they're working on
because they're they're becoming crypto gods i'm stoked for them let's go let's go dude did you
know i mean i was i was driving over here and having a thought about nfts and shit and i'm like
maybe the way nfts look now with like board ape yacht club and shit is maybe this is optimistic
is like how netflix looks with like mailing dvds to your house where you're like what no like we
can just go to Blockbuster or whatever.
Like maybe the iteration we're seeing now is not what it's going to even look like at all.
Like maybe it's going to totally evolve and be something different like this.
So yeah, maybe it's going to be rad.
Yeah.
I don't know what it'll be, but I'm far enough.
It's going to be something.
Can't hurt to get into it a little bit.
Hell yeah. Yeah, I mean, I don't know enough about it to know where things are going or if it's going to take over but i would bet it is just
from the amount of like support it already has yeah it's tough to figure out though all the
terms and stuff they're like this is it for your wallet and i'm like my rich wallet yeah no i don't
rich wallet yeah no i don't i don't think i'll ever get into it though i know man i got no it just doesn't stick to my brain there's no stickiness i'm not fired up on it i'll tell
you that much dude i mean we dove in we's tough finance stuff for me like i they're
showing me the project and i was stoked on it i'm like this is really sick um but like fine all that
kind of stuff for me it's if it doesn't pertain to like comedy or what we're doing it's hard for
me to like i'm the same way focus dude i hate thinking
money shit dude i had like emailed accountant today about like my llc identifies as an escort
what's the salary that i need to be giving of this or that and they're like
we'll come in and we'll meet about it and i'm like oh yeah i i the only time i want to know
about finance stuff is when my dad's talking to another
young dude about it and i start to get jealous that they're getting close yeah and then i'm like
and then i'll genuinely be like maybe i should give up comedy and get into finance yeah i don't
like this dude encroaching yeah and and my dad appreciating his uh appreciation of my dad's
knowledge i'll just watch it happen i'm like get the fuck out of here no no you know where you're at dude you guys are such legends where you're at a point where finance
guys look at you and go i got a fucking rock hard boner because these boys are doing something right
oh dude thanks you know same with you this can be hey hey all of us together baby let's go i saw
that boner i'm gonna call it a tent you know you know i'm pitching the tent over here i mean it's a tent for one yeah yeah yeah yeah no one's getting there you know it's a compact tent
you know safe you're very safe very you know bear is not even going to come up to it bear won't even
look at that bear with a meal not worthwhile the benefits of a small maybe a raccoon
yeah yeah yeah you get a small d piece you get some benefits those are tough on hogs raccoons
yeah rock him muncher little dong dude yeah you don't want anything
nails yeah and an opposable thumb yeah little fuckers have opposable do they really thumbs
yeah little fuckers have thumbs dude what if you roll up on a raccoon he's like playing with
a game boy and say what's up dude he's got a nintendo switch so i just play animal crossing what's up dude i'm just playing wordle exactly yeah bro i got it
i got my go-to word my five-letter word's horny what's yours yeah
well i can be a vowel bitch yeah yeah no give me your trash
you're like hey raccoon what are you doing
playing pokemon
aaron who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is albert
motherfucking poo holes yeah back on the cardinals baby one last ride for the machine
uh i i didn't i heard the rumor that it was coming,
but I didn't think it was going to happen once we signed another guy,
and he's back.
Let's go.
Let's get 700.
Hell yeah.
Do you think if Chris Rock were like,
Albert, nice last name, dude, sounds like poo hole,
he would have come up and slapped him?
No, he's a very sweet man.
I heard he is really nice. Yeah strider who's your legend sorry no no it's funny yeah that's funny
dude you know what my legend of the week is
fucking convertibles dude the best dude dude dude i valeted this convertible i think it was like a mercedes clk or some shit
but bro it's the bomb it just takes what we what fucking sucks about being in la and makes it sick
as hell you're just chilling dude you're cruising it's a go-kart experience in your car it's rad
dude and if you're alone look if you got a your sig oh maybe their hair gets
messed up that's messed up but dude if you're fucking just cruising did i rip that motherfucker
through the lot it was rad dude it was a perfect day socal is the best place for a convertible on
pch i think that's like we're only here or like to vegas dude if we all got convertibles and went
to vegas together like in a fucking convoy,
it's one of the best things I've ever heard of in my life.
It is crazy, like how a convertible turns like the mundane
into something exciting.
And then you're just automatically having more fun.
I think the reason people don't do it
is because they don't wanna stick out too much.
Yeah, self-conscious.
But if you're just in that experience,
you're like, whoa, like this is making everything
more joyous.
And if we can take a convertible mentality, how can you make everything more joyous in
our lives?
Drop the top.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Baby, how can I drop the top on anything?
How can I drop the top on sending this email?
How can I drop the top on showing up early for this meeting?
How can I drop the top on fucking, you know, meeting how can i drop the top on you know
calling my dad take your shoes off before the meeting yeah and then tell your dad something
weird to start off the conversation catch him off guard because he knows he's ready for the usual
checkup what's going on do you need money dad you know raccoons have thumbs yeah yeah just
like it off with that he'll go what i love telling my dad random facts that always makes me feel like
i'm kind of steering it a bit more.
It's a great call to have that.
And no one can get mad at you for sharing facts.
No, you gave me knowledge.
Oh, I'm mad at you for that?
The fuck?
Right, it's anti-intellectual.
I did not waste your time.
Yeah, it's anti, yeah, exactly.
Great call.
My legend of the week is our buddy Ross.
Ugh, the best.
I talk about him on here a lot.
He's an amazing guy.
It was his idea to go visit my dad.
He came out there with me and he's such a good guy to hang out with. He's so fun. And he was a
really wild dude when we were younger. And sometimes I make too big of a deal about it,
you know, and like we'll just always bring up these stories about him just, you know,
being the hard charging guy that he is, but he's really become such a compassionate and sensitive adult,
which you wouldn't expect for a guy who played like football at USC,
but he has such a high emotional intelligence and he,
and he's so like aware of himself and other people and he can fit in with
anyone. And it's just, it's really fun to be around.
And he calls me out in ways that are great. Like he, I was just telling him some stories.
He's like, you need to go back to sex addict meetings.
And I was like, get out of here, bro.
But he's right.
And then, and he'll just always tell you how it is.
And then he also called me out that,
I guess I was, he's like a little bit
to the right of me on politics.
And I guess at one point when Trump was president,
I was like, dude, you have so many black friends.
Don't you feel bad being a Republican?
I don't remember saying that, but I probably did.
And it like hurt him.
You know what I mean?
He was like pissed and he called me out on it and I kept denying it, but like playfully,
but he just, you know, holds me accountable, but he does it in a way that's like gentle.
You know what I mean?
But he tells you what you need to know.
And then, yeah, I just had the best time hanging out with them and lifting with them.
He's such a fucking beast in that gym, dude.
Bro, he's so fucking jacked.
And then so I'll ask him about it.
He has a son, Killian, beautiful boy.
Yes.
That he made with his beautiful wife.
Is that weird?
No, no, it's not weird.
And I'll be like, when are you going to put a barbell in that kid's hands?
And he goes, at some point, but I just hope he's a compassionate person and i'm like dude let's go baby let's go no dude ross is
a leader dude the way when we're even on comms gaming like ross is definitely the strongest and
like very successful guy of all of us we're like ross tell us where to go on this map and he's like
no danny you are good at this you tell us and then danny boom he's on it and dude dude he truly is
the man and his bullshit meter is through the roof dude this guy cuts through everything i remember
the one time like he was coming into la and we were like where should we go to dinner and i go
baby let's go to jones and he goes must be close to fucking strider dude and i and and literally
was walking distance from my house all the guys were busted up laughing because he literally cut right through it now in my defense
it's a great spot to go do really a lot of fun but ross was 100 right dude the guy's a legend
this is the best um chad what's your quote of the week uh i'm going back to these stay up king
things just because they're so funny uh i know we were talking about how toxic the
internet is but i mean it can be beautiful yeah this guy this guy put up a post about
uh like his girlfriend kissing his ex and all the uh all the comments they're like you're lucky it happened today bro
it's chess day let's get it
and then
and then gym's always
open brother and then
rise above king
damn time to move on king
swole is the goal king
stay humble king
just just calling someone king is so dude that's what i was gonna say bro
we call each other legends is king the new legend dude king is nice king is nice especially if a
guy's in that vulnerable spot like he needs that yeah booze yeah it is night yeah remind me like
our like our buddy said he broke up with
someone I just sent a text I sent my type is in the group type I sent a text so I'll be more
sincere but oh that's nice being like you dropped this King yeah I think those are the ones I can
find but it's fucking hilarious that's like the
good part about like internet momentum yeah yeah and everyone going to back for that guy is is nice
yeah stride or aaron what's your quote of the week my quote of the week is from uh we were
talking about this before we were on air i think peacemaker yeah um it's kind of like his motto
at the start at the start of the show
I cherish peace with all my heart
I don't care how many men
women and children I need to kill to get it
that's funny
dude vigilante when he's like
do you know what that makes me feel
when I have to kill someone
when I see someone
when I see someone murder someone or sell heroin
to someone or do graffiti i have to kill that person do you know how that makes me feel
the way he says too because he's wearing a mask like like like he looks like you know uh fucking
red bull he looks yeah and in like his the voice is so funny coming out of him.
Oh, God.
Yeah, he's basically a serial killer.
Isn't that guy wanted for murder?
Strider, what's your quote of the week?
My quote of the week comes from Marcus Aurelius.
I've been really high on this guy lately.
Love him.
The best revenge is to be unlike him
who performed the injury and it's betterment of oneself it's not let's go exact or do this or that
don't get bitter baby get better and i fucking love that dude he's got a lot of great shit
are you reading meditations no i i'm wanting to research something for history is dank and i'm
like i'm trying to finish the tom brady book which i fucking love by the way you do so as much as like
do you like it more or less than the than the kobe than like the pearlman books about the cowboys
the lakers i think your point is spot on where pearlman's more salacious and gets into the
nitty-gritty juicy stuff a lot
yeah dude you are right Sam Witherstein really does have a very pretty unbiased
sorry what did I say did I say Samwise Gamgee uh this fucking guy is pretty balanced in his
take on Tom Brady I thought there was too much just fucking Tom Brady love Belichick love in
the beginning but he keeps it real especially with the um cheating and the spying and dude there's so much and maybe because all the juice
is already there with this new england shit like yeah i don't know man it really makes me respect
tom more and and sees bello check in a more human light yeah they're machines but but so you were
doing research for history is dank
yeah oh but dude there's no way i'm gonna dive into um reading um what the fuck's his his book
again marcus really his book's name it's a meditations yeah meditations look i take a
long time to read i i would i recommend ryan holiday but i read meditations i'm like i don't
know what he's saying yeah it's it's very dense and like kind of you have to decode it a little bit yeah i might
need the cliff notes on that yeah modern translator helps with that stuff for sure sometimes philosophers
just they use so many words yeah that somewhere in the middle you just get thrown off like
insofar as was a phrase that always got me in philosophy it's like yeah uh wait what were
we talking about it just means they're having a thought in their head while writing it and you're
like whoa this guy's just a high thinker and it's like jesus they could stand to be more economical
and the thing is too you'll read like a few pages and you'll be like that could have been one
sentence yeah you know they're like it's like when the cow and the cow sees his udder and he's like, why won't you milk?
And you're like, so what are you saying?
Be strong?
Right.
But here's the thing.
That was a good made up metaphor.
Yeah, that was pretty incredible.
Were you like that?
Yeah.
We can tell you've dived into this.
Yeah.
That's impressive.
Also, we are not their audience.
The audience was maybe their peers or maybe they weren't writing for the times.
This is journal.
Okay. Well, there you go. It's himself. That's a maybe they weren't writing for the Times. This is journal. Okay, well, there you go.
It's himself.
That's a weird journal.
He should read my journal.
Dude, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Darude was lit tonight.
I was at the club.
I realized I was being a cock to this person
and this person's a cock.
The end.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
My journal is...
Looking forward to tomorrow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're like, wow,
we found Chad's journal post-mortem i want to try anal
steaks delicious would like to try anal every day for a year best pokey interesting enough
not at fucking what's that uh bear flag actually at hole in the wall spot whoa that'd be dark
yeah yeah bear flag is the best though yeah bro i might
go there tonight i'm going newport sko dude my my quarter of the week is from uh the tender bar
dude i loved it ross didn't like it so i'm going against ross on this one the ben affleck movie
directed by george clooney it's just about like the nature of like homespun wisdom that we impart
to other people and how much that can impact our lives and how we carry it on and stuff
love that as a theme love ben affleck and i always cheer for ben affleck that's my fucking guy
but he has one he's like one of his life principles is that like to get a girl you have to have a car
and when he's explaining it to his nephew he's like you gotta have a car all right maybe not
in the future if you live in like holland but here you gotta have a car it's so funny to me that he
just picked holland it felt so perfect i was like that guy would say that a bar owner and in upstate New York it wasn't
disrespectful but I was like yeah that's kind of how I feel too because they're
ahead of us in every way the Nordics right yeah they got a different culture
yeah yeah Chad what's your phrase we forgetting after it the phrase that we
forgetting after it is you ever try maple syrup with bacon let's apply that
to how we dance
tonight
oh nice
also do you see
all those boobs
at the Oscars
that would be funny
if you ran into
someone the next day
you're like
did you see the Oscars
last night
you think they're
going to talk about
Will Smith
they're like
yeah a lot of good boobs
that would be amazing
like whoa nice dude
where do you see
the good in everything
Aaron what's your first movie for getting after you also i think a thing lost from the oscars
and i tweeted about this it's like please don't forget to take beyonce's whole performance
and chroma key that shit because it's so much of this light neon green going on it's a tennis ball
green oh man green screen all over that thing.
Nice.
Because it's fun.
Not because she deserves it.
It was a beautiful performance.
Hell yeah.
Love Beyonce.
My phrase of the week for getting after it.
What were you saying?
You kept repeating a phrase during your legend.
Who was my legend again?
Sorry, I've had a couple of first mashes.
Fuck. Convertashes. Fuck.
Convertibles.
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
JT said it.
Put the top down on this.
Drop the top.
Yeah, drop the top on this.
How do we drop the top on that?
That's my phrase, yeah.
Drop the top. Hell yeah, hell yeah.
Strider, what's your phrase
we're figuring out here?
Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.
Great one.
Mine's from the Bon Jovi song,
It's My Life. For Tommy and Jeannie, who never back down. be kai mother fucker great one mine's from the bon jovi song um it's my life for tommy and genie
who never backed down i don't know who he's talking about but sounds pulled from his real
life and i can just picture those fuckers and i'm just standing tall so for tommy and genie
hey man hey man i think it's the characters from Living on a Prayer. Oh. I know Tommy's one of them for sure.
That's fire.
He used to work on the docks.
Tommy used to work on the docks.
What's the one from John Cougar Melling Camp?
Sucking on to the docks.
Jack and Diane.
I think you guys brought me around too.
I don't think Will Smith should have hit Chris Rock
laughter
laughter
I know you did but maybe it's good
I think he should probably go to jail
no I'm kidding
yeah
what a crazy moment
yeah
that would be hilarious if you get
Jim Carrey's on the news and they're like what
do you think about this yeah man a lot of great boobs i would have liked that more
yeah don't even talk about it what do you think about the incident what incident
uh will smith slapped chris rock he did yeah well this is the problem there's a lot of good boobs
there yeah our culture focuses on the perpetrator, never the victims.
And Chris Rock was the victim in this instance.
What's Chris Rock's story?
Let's hear him.
What's his take?
Yeah, I'd be interested.
Yeah.
I'm sure he, I honestly think he doesn't think he's as much of a big deal as everyone else.
However he reacts is how we should follow.
Yeah.
He's got 15 minutes on him for sure.
Yeah.
Oh, hell yeah.
I liked his line too. He's like, smith just slapped the shit out of me that was gold all right someone someone tweeted
uh chris rock is the tambourine that's special yeah that's amazing all right sweet that was fun good shit guys guys check out
keep writing reviews because they help us out
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When you need someone to guide you,
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Go with me.
Let's go deep.
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