Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 239 - Strider Joins
Episode Date: May 19, 2022STOKERS! We got Strider on the pod! Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code [GODEEP]....
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What's up Stokers? Before we begin this podcast, I want to let you know that we got a new Patreon out.
Bonus episodes each week. Chat and JT, just the classics. The kind of pods you know and love.
Check it out at patreon.com slash chatghostdude. We also have tour dates coming up.
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It is so sick.
I love it.
All right, let's start the show.
Yeah, melt the caramel and chub my wang.
What's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation?
This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad and JT podcast.
I'm here with my compadre, Jean Thomas.
Boom clap, Stokers.
And we're here with the, oh, fuck.
You know, a lot of Stokers wrote nicknames down on the Reddit,
and I was going to read one off one off I totally forgot to do that
on the go deep reddit
some people had some
guys if you're on the reddit a lot of people had some
really good suggestions
we should take some time
and we should wait to hit this
yeah should we find it
yeah baby
yeah shout out to the redditors just keeping that community alive
reddit front page of the internet baby
okay okay you threw a party all bros from reddit there'd be a good amount of hoodies there i'd
imagine dude a lot of dudes on the reddit people think i thought people thought harlan was being You threw a party, all bros from Reddit. There'd be a good amount of hoodies there, I'd imagine, dude.
Dude, on the Reddit, people thought Harlan was being a dick to me,
and I took it personal.
I think one guy did, and everyone corrected him.
Yeah, no, no, no.
If anything, JT was poking Harlan a little bit, but Harlan was legend, dude.
We were doing bits.
Yeah.
Guys, it's a podcast.
You got to create some excitement so you go at each
other a little bit come on it's your first podcast harlan's the man i loved that episode
dude fucking virgin podcaster dude yeah hey hey virgin podcaster guess what you're gonna have to
get teriyaki power slammed yeah you know teriyaki power slam teriyaki i thought you were gonna say something way more hardcore that was the right place to land it okay here we go oh hell yeah all right and we're here with the let me get in my dome
and we're here with the televangelist of tongue darting oh that's from a redder that's not from
me that is from that's beautiful that's from mayor nara
with a cake emoji hell yeah shout out uh what up dude freaking what up and amen to that bro
let's go dude yeah dude i think we got to come out of the gates hot though and address something. What's up? Chad's haircut.
Chad has a new haircut,
dude.
Yeah.
Chopped off the flow later,
the lettuce.
But you know,
a lot of people,
the reason why I did is because of the Amazon haircut and I was,
I'm evening it out.
It looks beautiful.
It looks good.
I think it broadens your casting.
Oh,
thanks. I see you as like a finance guy. Now, maybe seal guy think it broadens your casting. Oh, thanks
See you as like a finance guy now Navy SEAL guy a lot of different parts. Yeah a lot of different. Yeah
Thank you dudes
I can see you as a dude who's like good at boning
And I can see you as a dude who's like good at boning but also like uses power tools
Dude who like skates well, but bones nice Wow. Yeah
Thank you dudes. When you look in the the mirror do you see someone who bones well me
no wow why i have first of all i have a very tiny dink so you know i don't think that's really good
for me but i do think that i have developed an arsenal of love making moves that help me
so i guess you could say i make love well but when it comes to straight up um jackhammering no like i'm not gonna
i'm not harry stamper in anyone i can't jackhammer so you're saying you guys are smooth with it
but in terms of giving a good pounding that'll result you know that i don't give good pounding
do you count eye contact and kisses as well i guess that's more of the smooth like sensual
kind of like...
Yeah, I'm a sensual lover.
You're sort of like Enrique Iglesias.
Yeah, or it's an MMA fight.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, I get arm bars.
So an Enrique Iglesias music video combined with an MMA fight?
Yeah, like a Tank Abbott fight.
Sometimes I have to remember during boning that I'm not wrestling.
I'll be like, wow, her arm is just super yeah you know an arm bar an arm and triangle choke and then i'm like
oh no sex sex but dude that haircut chad it's looking great man thanks yeah what did you say
he looked like i sat here and i was like dude. Yes. Young Maverick, also Young Iceman.
Whoa.
Sure, sure.
I think he's both.
I think it'd be blonder for Iceman.
Should I frost the tips?
Yes.
Bro, what would your wing name be?
What would my wing name be?
Yeah.
Call sign.
Yeah, call sign.
Dude, I was trying to think of something funny,
but I think maybe just Stoker.
Stoker's amazing.
But you guys are Stokers too.
Take it, take it, man.
No, no, you're the Stoke Lord.
Yeah, you love doing Stoke.
You're the savant of Stoke.
Yeah, we take Stoke.
Well, what would you guys be?
Well, not that Stoker's gone.
Nah, I'd probably be Count Dankula
It's terrible
You don't like that?
It's gotta just be one word
It's gotta be one word
Can it be two words?
Is there any two words?
Yeah cause I'm gonna
put them to sleep
It's you know
the hard part for me is like
if I'm flying
and I'm like Stoker
I got a mig on my tail
that works
but if I'm like
Count Dankula
I'm already dead
I'm dead
Yeah
It's tough
You're right
You're right
You're gonna get us all killed.
I mean, if there's a MiG on you, and you're flying, and you're like, oh, fuck, is anyone
out there?
Count Dankula's on us.
Yeah, I think if I said count, if it was just count, if I was like, count.
Dude, do I have to just be Goose now?
Do I just have to be Goose?
You got, like, missile lock on him, and he and he like gets in your walk he's like who
are you count dankula and then you shoot him that's cool yeah that does work that's pretty
sick different movie because there's the red baron but then they didn't have comms back then
when the red baron was flying did they maybe they didn't know no no calm yeah so you can't be that
maybe in world war one i could be count dankula but current call sign maybe just fucking it is very russian it does sound like uh yeah you don't want
to be russian dude it's a little vlad the impaler just dart the dart the dart dart just dart darts
really good yeah that's a great call dude dart dart's a good one you're in tavakan school
call sign dart why'd you choose dart because i eat pussy sir sir because i eat pussy sir
you proud of that fact i am sir they say you are what you eat son oh yeah well let's get in the air
and find out i love that and then you could come over comes and be like where are you dar you go
you're like he's close he's close do He's close. Will you shoot someone? Do you have him?
He just got tongue darted.
How many darts you have yesterday?
Three, sir.
Box two.
Lizzalock, engage.
No, no, darts ejecting, darts ejecting.
Box three, away.
You're in the air with the fish.
What would mine be?
I was thinking wave or waves waves but that's not good no no you got you got you got something that that that parse like your speaks to your essence yeah your passion
yeah your passion and you're like a dude crying you're like a supreme conversationalist? Yeah, maybe a... Gab. Yeah, Gabber.
Gabber.
Gabber here.
That's kind of lame, though.
I kind of like it.
I kind of like it.
No, I don't mind Gabber.
No, no, no.
It can't be Gabber, dude.
But I'm intense, right?
So it's got to be something that captures that, too.
Like maybe too much.
What about just hyper?
Like Viper, but like hyper.
Oh, I like hyper.
Hyper.
Where are you?
Hyper.
Hyper.
Hyper's good.
Hyper's pretty sick.
Too much cracks me up.
Too much.
Hey, a lot, dude.
Too much.
Too much.
What?
Too much.
Too much.
What'd I do?
What'd I do?
I'm just being myself up here.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You're being too much.
You back off. It's just all back and here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're being too much. You back off.
It's just all back and forth like that.
Dude, you get an order?
Why me?
Why do I have to go do that?
Why do I have to do that?
You're treating me differently than everybody else.
It's not fair.
You're like, too much.
I'm like, no, I hear you.
It is a lot, but I'm just being honest.
Oh, dude, we got to get up for this mission early?
Fuck.
Yeah. Oh, God. you know it'd be funny on
comms is chris gardner he'd be in his call sign and be like ass or something that's where are you
what's up man ass man ass man where are you man ass man foot man coming in are you guys pumped
for top gun i think that might be the most excited i've been for a movie since creed and they're very
similar dude i mean top gun and obiWan are coming around at the same time.
Nice.
Whoa, is Obi-Wan going to be a movie?
No, I don't think so.
Disney Plus.
We talked about it on the Patreon.
I want to watch Disney Plus, dude.
We're a little fatigued.
A little fatigued on the Star Wars.
Yep, Disney's doing what they do.
They bought their thing, and now they're just cashing in, baby.
They're just milling it.
It's like, okay, we get it, dude.
But we're going in flight suits, too, Top Gun, right?
Yeah.
I think we have to. Dude, if we could get helmets with our call signs on it. That'd be sick. Yeah
Oh, dude, that'd be amazing. Yeah, we're gonna wear helmets
You're sitting at the movie You see like 10 helmets
Did you guys actually serve
It takes us like a minute to turn around
There's no chance of stolen valor
If we show up in helmets
In boots
Dude there's a surplus store by ATC
Dart your visor is down
Dart
Stoker, Dart, Hyper is aaron what are you oh yeah sticks stick man oh stick man's not bad no
no sticks isn't bad sticks is pretty good because you play softball too there's a stick in that and
you're on the sticks here you love jimmyats World. Oh, yeah. He could be Yoda.
Sticks World.
Yoda's a good one. Sticks World.
Jimmy.
He's kind of the voice of reason, too, for us.
That's what I was thinking.
He's like wise.
Yeah.
He's got wisdom.
Yoda, that's, yeah.
Sage.
Sage is a good one.
That's a sick one.
A little soft.
A little soft.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No disrespect to people who want to be called Sage.
Who took me out?
Sage.
Oh, fuck.
It sounds like he got, got like dusted by like
some fairy dust he doesn't shoot any gut missiles or anything he just uses flares and like he's
kind of like even when he shoots he's like uh uh uh sticks is good but i think we can do better
maybe we circle back on it but yeah we all gotta go see top gun yeah in fact people love it dude
reggie watson made him cry whoa, people are raving over it.
People are loving it.
Let's go, dude.
And dude, Tom Cruise flying in to the premiere on a helicopter.
Good morning, aviators.
What a great line.
Very cool.
And he splits them, dude.
Tom Cruise did all his own flying.
Did you know that?
Did he really? No, no.
I was wondering, dude.
I thought he might have.
Dude, when we did Hawaii Five-0, the stuntmen on that,
who were, you know, that show has a lot of action.
These guys were like real ass dudes.
They were like,
we started being like,
yo,
what's Tom Cruise like?
Because they'd worked with him.
They're like,
he's as good as any stuntman at stunts.
Makes total sense.
I mean,
Nick Cage had a great quote
where he's like,
if you're an actor,
you have to know how to fire a gun.
You have to be able to run,
ride a horse,
ride a motorcycle,
drive stick shift.
Being an actor,
you need to be like he's
talking about like being a man like all the skills you need you need that tom cruise has all those
things or no he's saying to be a movie star makes more sense actor maybe not you can do no you can
do theater yeah like you can be a great stage actor and like not know how to do any of that
business but if you're gonna be like yeah movie star well you gotta rip it it does bite you in
the ass occasionally though because he did break his ankle. Was it on the mummy or was it on Jack Reacher?
It was Mission Impossible.
But, I mean, that just...
It shuts down production for a couple months.
He did break his ankle, but it increased his legend.
It was an incredible moment.
Great story.
And the way he finished it off after the broken ankle
where he climbed up and, like, finished the scene.
Oh, dude.
Is that when he was using the suction things on glass?
No, he's, like, running from building to building and he leaps and he just kind of misses the jump a little bit and cracks his foot
against the building damn that way we're jackie chan and rumble in the bronx rumble rocks dope
fucking movie amazing best part of it is after the credits yes when you just see him doing all
his shit and he breaks his foot at some point and then he's still barefooting behind a boat
with a cast on it was insane you can see him crying in a scene, too.
It's unreal.
They give him this slip that goes over his cast.
It looks like his shoe.
So crazy.
Dude, Jackie Chan's the man.
Really cool dude.
Crazy he was the biggest star in the world for a second there.
Yeah.
Dude.
He's the most famous guy in the world.
There's something that he's the most famous.
I read something that they did a survey.
Out of the entire world, he's the most famous guy. I believe it guy i believe it well because he's like an incredible athlete and then he's physically
funny too like he can add comedy yeah to like a fight scene in a way that and his fight style
was so unique yeah it was all dodging and like acrobatics it wasn't even like force really yeah
do you remember his one fight scene i think think it might've been Who Am I?
Where he fights like the squiggly legged guy on top of the building.
He fights like two dudes who are in suits and are super handsome, which was sick.
I like that.
Yeah, that's it.
That sounds sick as hell.
I wonder what he's like to date.
Probably pretty rad, dude.
He's like, we're going to meet on top of the skyscraper, dude.
Just be there at eight and he's fucking parachutes in it's like whoa that's guys right did you think
grand entrance I think he hires like actors as henchmen to come and try and
fight him and he fights him off oh yeah you got to show off your skills right
100% if you got skills let the lady know if you've got those kinds of skills I
would totally hire dudes to do that on a date yeah percent why wouldn't you you'd
be doing yourself a disservice if you beat up guys you got to make them be rude to your girl first yeah beat
the shit out of them you're in for life at that point they try they try to like steal her bag or
something yeah right chase after them or like even worse they insult the bag they're like nice ugly
bag lady yeah that would cut her deeper yeah and then you just kick him in the face especially if
it's like a new bag she just bought you know she's really feeling it then you just kick him in the face. Especially if it's like a new bag she just bought. You know, she's really feeling it.
And then you just fucking fuck the guy up.
A spin kick into the head.
Don't ever disrespect her style, bro.
Dude, that's the thing about when you get new stuff.
Because we talk about this in circling back to Chad's haircut.
Is it's a risk, dude. You have a new haircut right now and you have epic flow.
And when you're growing up with the boys, if you do anything different,
like if you buy a new flannel
or God forbid get a new pair of shoes.
Yeah, especially if they're like cowboy boots or something.
Oh, yeah.
Don't come into my house.
Don't ever think about it.
Don't ever think about trying to be independent around us, dude.
You got to run that by the crew.
And look, it's a mean quality,
but it's rooted in something good, which is...
It's older brotherness.
It's just being like...
It's checking authenticity, kind of if if our friend rode a horse and was fucking good at being a cowboy and
could rope cattle all right cool like andrew andrew needed to get checks a hundred percent
you know he shows up with a mustache and cowboy boots he's going to ucsb i'm like there's not
really a cowboy vibe why do you do that like when we were like 22 he came over one time and
dude it was so funny i was just like mad at
him but i didn't say anything i'm just looking at him in his cowboy boots and his mustache
like four hours later into the night someone finally goes jt what do you think about andrew's
cowboy boots and mustache and i just look at him i go well and then he started crying before i said
anything bro he would do stuff dude there's this swallows day parade back in sam one you guys all know
you dress as like that's the one day you're supposed to dress like a cowboy that day yeah
you dress like you put a hat on and a flannel and like that's it you still wear your vans whatever
dude shows up in a purple v-neck and a leather jacket it's like leather pants and yeah and we're
like jt just goes go home change go home because he lives walking distance he's like no man i'm
gonna wear this and all of us are like nah dude jt's right bro you gotta change you gotta go like you wear flannel every day change
i was like dude it's offensive it's offensive it was offensive dude it's gotta change it's
gotta change yeah i don't regret that but sometimes you can be too harsh of course good
i mean it was hard with him because he's so beautiful that you were like he always look good
i'm picturing him in the cowboy hand mustache so it's killing me it was we went to like a mexican restaurant that night it was offensive not
not for any racial reasons but just like i was like dude what are you doing yeah no what
made no sense put on a t-shirt like he was like clocking in for a shift at a vape shop
like the fuck is this dude no i can't do that. Yeah here, bro What's the biggest risk you've ever taken style wise when you had your Padawan hairstyle, dude for sure
That's a big one dude. Speaking of Star Wars stuff. Yeah, that was big. But you rock the fuck out of that
Oh, yeah recent it was no this was in college
I grew my hair out really long and then it just became time to get a haircut
I was like gonna go abroad in China and I was like, I'm just gonna get a haircut
Keep it short and let it grow but had grown it that long and my roommate joel was like dude when we were big on star wars at
that time he's like dude you could like have a for real padawan learner's braid and i was like
i'm gonna i'm gonna do it so i got a haircut that looks pretty similar to yours and but just had a
long ass real braid that's it was sick that's really sick it was sick it was a good conversation
piece i'm getting a little brad p Pitt energy from you with this haircut, too.
You guys are too nice.
Yeah.
I am.
Like, 80s Brad Pitt.
Like, across the tracks.
Remember that one?
The racing one with Ricky Schroeder?
I've seen that one.
Yeah, I appreciate it.
Thank you.
I see it.
It's a disaster of a movie.
I think, I remember in eighth grade I was going to go to boarding school.
So I was going to the East Coast.
I was enamored by the preppy lifestyle.
And also I was really into Kanye at the time.
Nice.
So I showed up to school with two Lacoste polos.
Bright blue and bright pink.
The collar popped up.
Wait, on at the same time?
I wish we would have been friends then.
I would have yelled at you.
Dude, yeah.
Dude, you should have. we would have been friends then. I would have yelled at you. Dude, yeah. Dude, you should have.
I would have been pissed.
Dude, you're lucky you're sitting this far away from me
because I do want to punch you in the shoulder right now.
Yeah, you might need to get socked, dude.
Dude, well.
I picture you wearing white shorts, too, dude.
Were you wearing white shorts?
Oh, yeah.
Did you change your name?
Did you have one of those belts that like isn't a belt and
then it just flops forward you know i'm talking about like it looks like it should like go on a
dude i'm not even front right now i did just roughly yeah you had the belt where it was like
actually you didn't like put the extra part through the loop she like let it hang over the
front yeah it's the two metal two metal rings yeah and it was uh i think that was multi-colored too oh and i had salmon shorts
oh i'm so sensitive when i have new clothes now like if i buy something new and someone's like
oh you're wearing boots i'm like what's your problem man i'm like back off jack but that's
my look right now i'm wearing these this henley top swim trunks and big brown boots i like those
boots dinner boots i like that look i like your boots it is
though when you do show up so you know when i show up to school with that look yeah my teacher
kept calling me a bitch peak vulnerability good teacher yeah my math teacher you gotta call him
out sometime yeah there's a she he probably taught you she was like this shirt plus those shorts
equals bitch yeah she's like you know the equation, she's like, you know the equation, bitch?
Mm-hmm.
She's like, solve this, bitch.
Mm-hmm.
What's the variable?
Mm-hmm.
And I'm like,
who are you asking?
She's like,
who's the biggest bitch
in the room?
Mm-hmm.
I was like, me?
And she's like...
Dude, did you guys hear
about Cary Fukunawa?
He's in trouble
for being a creep.
Tried to get two young twins to bone.
He told them that incest isn't a big deal if everyone's into it.
Is this on set?
No, no, this is at his hot tub.
People brag about that shit.
Like Tommy Lee or someone.
Not Tommy Lee specifically, but...
Wait, the mom and the daughter were in it together?
Yeah.
That is pretty cool.
I don't have an exact example, but I'm just saying.
I feel like I've heard someone brag about that. The degree of difficulty on that must be insane. in it together yeah that is pretty cool i don't have an exact example but i'm just saying i feel
like i've heard someone brag about that degree of difficulty on that must be insane yeah it's also
that movie like isn't it called something's gotta give or like jack nicholson like is dating the
daughter and ends up getting with like diane keaton or whatever but they put it in there where
amanda peete's talking i just re-watched this the other day this is on netflix and she's like
the only reason you don't want to be with them is because you think we slept together
we never slept together they definitely they put that in there
Yeah, yeah, but he wakes up like they meet like he's like chilling in the house like they think they're getting naked. They're about to bone
hilarious dang and dude Jack is just like I
Don't know. He's a perv in that movie. Yeah, he's a creepy guy. Yeah, hey relax
Look, I'm just grabbing some I'm dating your daughter
don't worry about it
wait let me try and do
Jack Nichols in there
come on
hey lady relax
I'm just dating
that's terrible
I'm just dating
that's just actually
how I sound
I'm just dating your daughter
literally anyone who's
being a creep like
that director in the hot tub
was like
hey
that's just the creep voice
just start like
we're in the jacuzzi
we're in the jacuzzi
why don't you two get together?
Yeah, it is an incest if we're all down. Do you want to try Jack Nicholson?
Sure
Well, should I say hey I'm trying to say hey
Or you I might try to do different Jack. I might do Jack and a few good men
I think I can do that one more easily
That's a great way. Did him trying to hit us us i'll rip off your head and piss down your throat
i sleep 300 yards away from 5 000 men who are trying to kill me who's gonna do it you lieutenant
weinberg you need my cock on that wall you love my cock on that wall that's that's pervium that
was hot you need my cock on i love you
know i love about watching that scene is his fate is like head is perfectly still whoa good call
like like because it's so close up where you just you need my cock on that wall you love my cock on
that wall right why'd you throw because you're being pervy yeah just pervy and in frame he could zoom in jack hold on um where are some other lines
where he's just like he's like you can't handle my cock and in little circles that you don't want
to talk about you can't handle my load what son we live in a world with my cock is as big as my
balls who's gonna do it you lieutenant weinberg who's Weinberg. Who's going to suck it? Yeah.
Who's going to suck it?
You, Lieutenant Weinberg?
You?
All right, you guys want to answer some questions?
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
I do want to answer the questions.
I do.
What up, pod?
I'm high as a giraffe. Oh, interesting fact about giraffes that Grady told me.
Do you know why their necks are long?
To fucking reach out leaves and shit. I guess they most the food they eat is off the ground their necks are long for fighting from when they whip the shit yeah yeah grady was saying
most their food is actually like like at a regular height pretty interesting didn't we read this one
already though no this a lot of our listeners write in and say they're high as a
giraffe though yeah i remember specifically this just might be the this is a different question
but but this guy's i can see that being a phrase what does randy really mean like is it a bad thing
to be randy to me it means like bad horny like feral animal and heat during an unwanted party
legs horny or is randy just like salacious i don't know no no randy's an energy
yeah randy's like i'm feeling randy and there is a sexual component to it but i'd say that's like
30 to 40 percent of it yeah the other 60 percent is just like out of your body excited wanting to
bounce around and like be mischievous i would say watch austin powers that's where i take my
cues on randy from yeah you know that's fun just imagine if you I think the perfect image of Randy is Strider on a spinning bed in
a speedo thank you thank you maybe the power stance on your knees I always
operate an athletic stance yeah a little tent oh yeah pitching a nice little tent
in my speedo I like to wear a speedo at a party not because I'm being pervy or horny
But I just like to be have integrity and let people know what they're dealing with
Um, this is kind of intense
Please keep me anonymous. My entire family listens. Oh, that's cool. Oh
What up mom fathers of stoke I come for some advice on me and my girlfriend's relationship backstory
I boys i'm 19 and currently attending welding school and i'm on track to grad in november me and my girlfriend's relationship. Backstory, I, boys, I'm 19 and currently attending welding school
and I'm on track to grad in November.
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for two years
and I started losing feelings about three months ago.
Now I've completely lost feelings,
but she's been really good to me up to a point.
I went to visit and we hung out
and things got a little spicy, if you catch my drift.
Our relationship prior to my visit were a bit rocky.
Anyway, she trapped me from my viewpoint
and from what i told my squad and everything thinks the same thing when things got jiggy we
were going at it and she locked her legs in and i tried getting out but that shit failed
what wait why do you read it like that because he sounds like that oh really no i don't know i'm
guessing i tell her she needs to take a plan b and she refused and i
didn't know what to do in that situation she's completely set on the fact of keeping it and when
i mentioned adoption she lost her shit so down to the end now i've completely lost feelings she's
pregnant and i'm still in welding school and i don't know if i'll be able to provide for the
baby and i don't want to be in this relationship anymore sorry for the long message you need to
get off my chest love y'all tell the boys i said what's up and let me know when you answer because i'm behind on the pod thanks i mean dude i think broadly this
is a good lesson to everyone to wear protection and to not put yourself in this situation because
this shit sucks it 100 sucks you obviously made a mistake you are responsible for that mistake but
i feel for you man that is a tough spot to be in yeah so lesson you know to the wise don't make this same mistake especially if you're in an
uncertain relationship like come on um i don't a little sketchy on like she locked her legs and
i couldn't get out like come on um that doesn't really cut ice but but i guess to the point like i mean dude i can't
tell you how to convince someone to get rid of a kid man that's like not i don't i don't do that
so i i just wish you the best of luck i guess yeah man maybe you gotta weld yourself a chastity
belt dude so you can't pop wood but i do i do feel for this guy though that's a it is a bummer
of course yeah of course also it's just as advice if you want to be anonymous provide less personal But I do feel for this guy, though. It is a bummer. Of course. Yeah. Of course.
Also, just as advice, if you want to be anonymous, provide less personal details.
Yeah, if your whole family listens, they're going to know who this is.
Yeah, you're a welder, dude.
How many welders are there out there, dude?
Yeah.
I don't know what to tell them.
I don't know what to tell them either.
I'm sorry, dude.
Yeah, I'm sorry, man. I like welding a chastity belt i think yeah i'm on board with that get
creative use your artistry dude yeah yeah as far as where you're at now man it's tough dude
it's tough decisions bro i would just keep talking to her just keep talking to her and
don't be angry yeah i think anger is the opposite emotion that you need right now
i would be very compassionate, understanding.
And I would try to come from a place of love.
But yeah, it's stressful, dog.
I'm really sorry.
And you'll be able to provide for the baby if it happens.
Yeah, you've got a trade.
You know, you're in school right now, but you have a trade.
No, everyone.
Dude, this is a different guy.
Pod, I'm high as a giraffe.
Please go on Bill Maher's pod.
How many people are saying this?
Did you guys say that on another episode or something like that?
No, maybe it's just happening in the culture right now.
Maybe it's just popping.
Club random.
Total club random right now.
That's Bill Maher's pod.
Oh.
I thought you were just saying that as a phrase. Good double, though. That's a good double meaning, bro. That's Bill Maher's pod. Oh. I thought you were just saying that as a phrase.
Good double, though.
That's a good double meaning, bro.
That was fire.
Dude, six.
What's up, legends?
Hope all is well with you.
I'm a fifth-year student in my final quarter at Cal Poly SLO.
I feel like I may be losing some of my going-out mojo,
and it's having impacts on some of my bro relationships.
I've been dating a girl for the past two years,
and everything's great,
except we feel like we are old now as fifth-years
and don't have the same steamy froth to slug pints with everyone.
Most of our main friend group graduated and left town last year,
but between my now roommates who are a year younger than their last year of college,
few buddies from my summer work with the Forest Service as a firefighter,
and a close buddy from back home,
I feel like I have let them down not ripping the bars and parties as much anymore.
I still love to party, but I feel like I can't find that same motivation to go rip.
I got hired to work in Santa Barbara doing similar work
and don't want this suck down slump to carry over.
You boys got any advice for how I can find my motivation
or other ways in which I can keep my buddies stoked
on our friendship?
I still surf and work out with my roommate,
work buddies and home friend,
but just a little off.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated
and keep up the work.
You guys are a delightful listen when life gets busy.
Oh, thanks, dude.
Dude, me personally, I'd say don't fight it.
I'd say if you have the motivation to party, you want to force it.
Do what you want to do.
I don't party as much as I used to by a long shot and i love it
i love the changes made in my lifestyle and stuff and that's just sort of the direction i went in
like i partied so much in college wednesday to sunday hammered and now i don't as much anymore
but i still have friendships from college and i could see how you'd think that it
would you know sort of weaken the bond maybe but i think you got to stay true to uh to how you're
feeling and and you know and your bros will still be there for you i don't think if they're getting
mad at you for not partying as much i don't think you know that's on them that's on you
dude but if you do want i totally agree like don't beat yourself you know, that's on them. That's on you.
Dude, but if you do want to, I totally agree.
Like, don't beat yourself up for being in a different stage in your life.
Like, that's okay.
But I think what it is, you're just, you've done it.
You're in your fifth year.
You've done all the partying variations that are available at that place.
I would say plan a weekend trip with these boys you want to party with somewhere new and i think if you're in a new environment it'll spark up and galvanize that partying side of you and you guys will have new experiences to bond over because i think you're just tired of the same rigmarole so get
out of town bring the boys and go somewhere else tahoe vegas if you like the mountains it's not
really my shit but big sir or something like that that's a great shot dude go to a different location yeah you just need a new location bro it's huge massive
dude indeed you get your whole life not to be in college dude so let them rip a little bit dude
get out there bro you're still young dude you know you're in a relation dude you know you're not
chasing tail excuse me dude my fiance doesn't like when i talk like that dude but you know you've got
a dank ass lady and that's legit dude, and it's not like you need to party
with the boys, but dude, get in there, go to those pre-games, hang out, you don't need to
party every thirsty Thursday, dude, you might be like, look, I go hard Friday sat, that's what I
do, those are my days, let's make it happen, and then, you know, dude, just freaking to get yourself
in the mood to party, you know, if you're willing to jumpstart it, it's like working out, dude, you know, getting back into it's
going to be tough getting back in that rhythm, dude.
Just have a rule for yourself, dude.
You're always going to have all four windows of your car rolled down.
You're always going to be pumping Limp Bizkit.
You're always going to be listening to my way.
You're always going to be pumping Eminem.
You're always going to be pumping.
I mean, honestly, dude, jock jams.
If we really need to get you pumped up. We really need to get you into it.
We need to get a little,
are you ready for this?
And then you need to just,
you know,
chug that pop off.
Get a little,
how is this?
Presentational with your raging a little bit.
That might help you out.
That always helped me, you know?
Where I'm like,
I'm going to get this party started.
I think a costume's huge.
Think of it like your uniform. Yeah. Jason Segel puts on a suit to write you
need to have a change of clothes that involves no shoes a pair of board shorts
and that's it and maybe some shades dude I got a necklace to get a necklace I
got an idea that he can implement right now whoa
flight suit helmet boys bro Bruce Top Gun yes mix it up mix it up change change the
window dressing you know spruce up the store a bit you got this partner message us back next
week and let us know that you partied yeah beach volleyball bruiseunk alone in your room.
Drink alone in your room.
Yeah, drink alone in your room,
listening to OK Computer.
Dude, on 4th of July...
Bring your friends
and make them suffer with you.
Yeah.
It's valuable.
Different ways to feel
when you party.
I think around the time
4th of July 2020,
I drank alone in my apartment
and I watched The Patriot.
That's a good-ass time. That's fun. Do you know what I like the Patriot that's a good ass time
that's fun
do you know what I like to do?
that's a party
I like to get completely obliterated
on the verge of blacked out drunk
Uber to a Bass Pro Shop
corner an employee
and just ask them questions
not about gear
but just about life
life
big existential questions
you married?
no?
how come you didn't get married?
how old are you?
40?
you happy?
do you find meaning in that?
is that meaningful for you? to get married? How old are you? 40? You happy? Do you find meaning in that? Is that meaningful for you?
To be alone?
Then I'll say, get your manager.
I want to talk to someone even older.
It's a more love experience.
And then the manager comes and you're like, call your wife.
I want her to hear this.
Yeah, let's call all of our wives. I'm not married.
I'm going to call my mom.
Call your mom.
Dude, this is something that you can't do. Then I throw up in the fish tank and I watch the fish eat it because you're so hammered i'm blacked out i don't remember anything
they say that's the beauty of it and anytime they don't they want to withhold info i say
no no don't worry i'm so tanked right now then you make your way over to a shooting range
you say let me borrow a gun i want to go shoot yep let me see the high caliber rifles drunk you got
to be honest you say i'm plastered but i'm a good guy i won't get too wild with it i get it trust me getting that
trust from someone with a gun very life-affirming completely hammered can i hold a compound bow
can i hold a compound bow please let me pull it back you gotta you gotta be strong to do that too
where do you aim that arrow i asked him to play. That's up to you. I just employed it.
Aim it at me.
Just fucking let it go.
I go to the gun range.
I don't have to go to you.
You're too drunk to borrow a gun.
I go,
yeah,
but I'm not too drunk to stand out there while people shoot over my head.
I want to be the target.
I want people to shoot at me.
Correct.
And I'm like,
isn't that what they want to,
to shoot at a real person?
Aren't you tired of this?
Pretend.
Don't you want to feel something?
Don't we all picture the deer is just our manager and then they just say
thanks for being out here thank you for coming
we needed you they did need me
you got a lot of options
dude you can party yeah so yeah I think you'll have fun
dude have a good fifth year
guys I'm interrupting this podcast letting you know
once again that we were brought to you by
our new Patreon we got Patreon
bonus episodes each week classic Chad and JT episodes.
If you guys want bonus content each week, check it out.
Patreon.com slash Chad goes deep.
You will not regret it.
Oh, we also have dates coming up, tour dates.
We're going to be doing stand-up in Arlington, Virginia this weekend.
We got Dallas and Houston coming up.
Then shows around California as per use.
Check out our website, chatandjt.com for ticket links.
We're bringing the stoke, and we want you there to reverberate that energy.
We're also brought to you by the Legends app.
Manscaped, Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pure,
for looking after our hogs, for making sure their dinks are looking fresh
and clean because look at this shirt.
It says We Say Balls.
It's a sick shirt.
I'm going to wear this out to dinner with my GF tonight.
Because I care about testicular cancer.
And so does Manscaped.
They also have.
I mean this is the coolest.
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With purple lining probably aaron would you say that's probably the coolest pube trimmer you've ever seen 100 guys this is
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All right, back to the show.
All right, what about this, dude?
What up, seniors of Stoke?
These are the Patreon queues.
Oh, nice, nice.
What up, seniors of Stoke?
I have a big dilemma.
Some background first.
My brother has been dating his girlfriend for five years and told me he's planning on marrying her. My brother and I live together in
a two bedroom apartment. He has his girlfriend over at least three days a week and every weekend.
This annoys me quite a bit because I don't get along with this girl. I think she's wrong for
him and very manipulative. She's very loud and inconsiderate when she visits. Anyway, he asked
me to be his best man at his wedding. This has majorly hyped me at first, but on reflection,
I don't think I can honestly be involved with a wedding that I don't approve of.
My speech would just be telling my brother to boke that hoe.
Pardon my French.
Should I be honest with him and tell him I can't do it?
Or should I lie and give a fire speech that my heart isn't in?
Please help me.
P.S.
Daddy Fart is my favorite guest of the year.
Please tell him that.
Sorry for the long quest.
Oh, dear God.
Your worst nightmare.
My worst nightmare, dude.
You were on the money, dude. You were on the money, dude.
You were on the money with it.
You just salted JT's high.
No, he's a great guy.
I love Kevin.
I just don't like to hang out with him that much.
But, uh, great guy.
He said Kevin, being on the episode, was his best favorite episode.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Have they listened to the Harlem Williams episode yet?
It's a great episode.
Harlan's the man.
He's the man.
It's not about what you want.
It's about what your brother wants.
You have to trust his judgment, trust his autonomy, and support him in this. episode harland's man man it's not about what you want it's about what your brother wants you have
to trust his judgment trust his autonomy and support him in this like everyone goes through
these things we've all had friends girlfriends family members girlfriends we didn't like at the
end of day it's his life bro your job is to be there and support him and deliver a fire fucking
speech now get your heart into it and do it i think too kind of the last thing he could get
blacked out plastered near blacked out
give his speech and just totally trash the relationship that would be hey that's not a
bad option as long as he shows up dude just show up like this is bullshit i don't approve
fuck you all you flip over the table i had a i had a dear friend who got married and his brother
wasn't crazy about the other dude's wife and And when he gave his best man speech, it was pretty obvious.
He's like, yeah.
So everyone knows me and like Natalia.
Uh, yeah, she's a lot, but everyone laughed and she didn't care that much.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, uh, but I still think you bro, come on, dude, just bring it for your bro, dude.
Yeah, bro.
Get over it, dog.
And the only reason that you're beefing is probably cause you're the roommate there and they're like all being all lovey-dovey
dude i get it dude she makes herself at home but dude yeah you gotta have your bro's back dude
you know this is life bro you gotta just it's not what we demand from life it's what life demands
from us victor frankl baby what's up dude nice i just got that book search for meaning dude it's
amazing it's
my favorite book it's my my neighbors had a yard sale and they had a bunch of books for like a
dollar they had victor frankl in there and i was like wow let me pick that shit up i love working
on this hbo book for like months because it's a thousand pages the first 200 were like here's what
program was like in the 1970s and i'm'm just like, shoot me in the face.
Yeah, the ESPN books like that too,
where it's like cable rights and like satellites
and like getting like three cents extra on distribution.
And they're like, it changed the world.
I'm like, I promise you it didn't.
This is on no one's radar.
We love documentaries here.
We just love them.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude, go to the wedding give the speech
and just
put it out of your mind
do your job
exactly do your job dude
call sign do your job
alright last cue
greetings Sultans of Stoke Chad and JT and any esteemed
guests that are joining the pod today
also a massive what up to Aaron
I don't have much to complain about in my life right now.
I just started a dank new job that pays me well and help me unlock a newfound passion
and things are incredible with my dank GF.
Love you, babe.
However, there has been a major problem that has come up recently to preserve some level
of privacy.
I'm only going to be using initials instead of full names.
Oh, this is going to be a nightmare.
Oh, Jesus.
For context, we're all ages 18 and 19 so me and my dank gf who i'll call m have been together for almost six months now
i've been struggling to find time with our besties a while ago we set up our best friend
and my best friend but then my gf's friend who i'll call r got a bf
bro this sounds like fucking chad's calculus class when he's wearing his lacrosse shirt, dude.
But my friend, who we all call Jay, is still interested.
Recently, we decided that all four of us would hang together,
and it was super dank.
R and Jay got along well, a little too well.
The sexual tension was so real
that Chad could have brought his board out and surfed it.
Nice.
Normally, I would be thrilled at the prospect of them falling in love
because that would mean we could all hang together all the time.
But the issue lies in the fact that Jay doesn't want a relationship and only wants to fuck.
And he stated that multiple times when we were all hanging.
He said that in front of the girl?
Oh, maybe not.
However, R is not the type of girl who just wants to go out and fuck any guy she sees.
And any sexual relationship between them could be catastrophic for our group.
And we can't forget she also has a boyfriend.
R&J could also potentially just be really good friends.
I guess my question is, what is the best possible scenario?
How can we achieve that outcome?
You know, dude, I think you got a lot of anxiety and I would, it's good.
Anxiety is good.
You know, it forces action, but I would not allocate it to this shit.
I would focus more on your own stuff yeah but maybe he's doing so well he's got extra bandwidth he can just
you know like when couples are just crushing it so they just love to talk about other couples
maybe he's like at that enviable place yeah i think so i mean i think uh i think there's nothing
he can do to try and get the desired outcome.
I don't even know what the desired outcome is in this.
I guess for R&J to be together.
But what about that boyfriend?
I'm thinking about that dude.
Poor guy.
Just because he's not in the squad doesn't mean he's a human being.
He's probably a sick-ass guy.
Yeah, the squad's called humanity, dude.
We're all in this together.
Dude, yeah.
I'm just sad that you didn't get a letter, dude.
You were just chatting that story, dude. Would have liked for you to have a letter, dude. Slap that, dude yeah call said that you didn't get a letter dude you were just chatting that started would like for you to have a letter dude slap that dude oh i thought
you were gonna go underneath go underneath one time go just lick it no no i fake like nobody
no but no but i want you to look have you guys tried slapping hands with the other part
oh like back hands give me some give me some that's sick that was sick that was fucking sick that felt tight
that felt nice dude i uh i don't know dude i think just take your hands off the reins and
let that horse run yeah and dude also like you could just tell like some friends will i have
one friend who i love to death one of my best buddies i remember one time i was like hey dude
don't have sex with that girl.
I'm friends with her brother.
Just don't do it.
And he was like, yeah, for sure I won't.
And then he did.
And what am I going to do, not be friends with a guy?
His call.
But then I have other friends who I've been like, hey, man, I'd rather you didn't do this.
And they listen.
So I don't know what kind of friend your guy friend is.
I mean, you can ask, but I don't think you can be that mad if he doesn't listen.
Yeah.
It's not really, again, we get questions like that a lot about people are like,
how do I stop these other people from like doing something?
Like the brother's wedding thing.
It's like.
You can't control. You can't.
You don't.
Yeah.
I think.
But I mean, it could be, it could be, you know, just to say to the guy like,
hey, you know, I'd rather you didn't hook up with her or something like that.
It's nice.
Yeah, it could be good.
That's a good call sign.
Aaron's call sign could be Dick Dealer.
Do you want to be Dick Dealer?
No.
Yes.
No, yeah, Aaron.
Dick Dealer is cool, dude.
Aaron, we don't want to bully you into this, but your fucking name is Dick Dealer, dude.
Dick Dealer is cool because you're a pitcher and you're a Dick Dealer, dude.
Oh, I flew through dick dealers jet wash
Oh dick dealer just two did flares. Do you want to deal something else? No wisdom dealer?
Dick dealer, this is dick dealer coming in. I'm install dick dealers ejecting. I
Think dick dealers getting us pretty excited man. I mean you got to think about what's good physical. Oh, dear
What's cool imagine Tom Skerritt's like, what's your call sign, son?
Dick Dealer, sir.
Dick Dealer.
It's a lot of pressure.
Then you go out to the bars.
That night you don't get laid.
And then the next day everyone's like, hey, Dick Dealer.
Shut up.
Shut up.
There's nobody there, dude.
There's no chicks at the bar, dude.
I couldn't deal.
Okay, Dick Dealer.
Fuck you, dude.
Fuck you, bro. You know how you used you you see that guy that's call sign dick dealer
dick dealer likes playing solitaire
alright
it just starts grabbing his crush
his flight suit has his dick exposed
yeah
it's all covered up His flight suit has his dick exposed? Yeah.
It's all covered up.
I can't tell.
I'm going to deal with Dick, dude.
So what's going on with you and Dick Dealer?
You guys better grill that beef up and eat it because Dick Dealer's fucking tonight.
Dick Dealer's throwing it down, bro.
He doesn't even fly a jet.
He just posts up in those cool chairs.
Those fucking lazy boy chairs that they have in their briefing room.
Yeah.
Just posts it up in there with his dick out.
Have a good mission, fellas.
You know how they put something on their thing? you know like like a hula doll or something
it's wiggling in there
all right all right chad you ready yeah who's your beef of the week
my beef of the week is with my nut sack. Bro.
I muffed up my nut sack.
I explained this on the pod, but basically I went to go play basketball.
Didn't even play basketball.
Sat on the bleachers.
Tripped off the bleachers.
Fell into my nut sack.
Bruised my nut sack.
Thankfully, my nuts are okay.
But I got a big bruise on my nut sack. And's very unsettling and i don't feel like myself um you know it sucks yeah i don't even know if i've
ever had a bruise your nuts have taken a pounding over the years when is it taking a pounding
i've had testicular torsion i had epididymitis and i have a sigler torsion, I have epididymitis, and I have a bruised sack. Yeah.
We got to get you a cup. Gold is tested in the fire, dude.
Dude, right?
These nuts are made of steel.
I like that you're wanting to play some ball, though.
I'm down to get out there.
Dude, yeah, I do want to play ball.
I don't even know if I want to play anymore because I, you know.
That's rare.
That won't happen again.
Because you associate it with, like, nut damage.
Yeah, so I associate it with nut damage. It's tough. but there's nothing worse than you just sort of laying there you like alright
Where's this why it's just not hurting your nuts is like the worst. Oh man. That wasn't my beef
That's gonna be my babe. Yeah, just switch it up. That's a my beef is hats
well
I've been wearing hats for the last six months And I was sick of it
So I got a haircut to even out the Amazon cut
And
Now I'm
I want to say the hats formally
Fuck you
Except yours looks sick
I was admiring your hat
That's how I do my hair too
You're gracious towards others
You mean your hats
My hats yeah
Dude literally the past week i was like i was like if i have to put on this
fucking hat again i'm gonna lose it that's why i knew this time i mean you've been wearing a hat
every day for six months every day my girlfriend's only known me in hats whoa yeah would you this
might be too much to ask would you guys make love would you be wearing a hat
or like would you switch it up to a beanie no i gotta go flat bill forward for sure
when you would masturbate would you put it backwards before you jacked it
smart but during sex i do flat bill forward and she'll be like did you come and it changes
yeah my way of being i'll
be like for sure yeah you're more laid back when you bone with a hat yeah um that's a good beef
strider what's your beef dude my beef of the week is having never boned with a flat bill
forwards cap on dude what can you fix that i think so when are you gonna fix that
my birthday's coming up okay is that your request i was gonna be for my birthday i'm into experiences
wait woody hold on dude what do you say dude you're a little older than everybody dude that's
pretty demented of you dude what are you talking about all right dude you're right he's
just look dude here's what i said i'll just say i'm What are you talking about? All right, dude, you're right. It's just, look, dude, here's what I say.
You don't have to say I'm right, dog.
But if I am right, I'll take it.
Numbers don't lie.
The numbers don't lie.
I'm a little bit older, but I'll tell you this.
It's mind over matter, baby.
It's just a number.
You don't mind, it don't matter.
It don't matter.
And it don't matter.
You know what I mean?
Now, tell that to my left knee when I'm in the low post,
but I'm all into experiences now.
I want to do something that I've never done before
on all of my birthdays going forward.
Maybe that's my B for not having done that
because typically what I do is I house a chicken parm
and jack off.
But now for my birthday,
I would like to make love
wearing an Anaheim Ducks flat build hat
because I have one.
Nice.
I have one from the inaugural season, 93 season.
And I thought to myself the other day, I was spring cleaning.
Me and my fiance, we love to tackle projects together.
And we were spring cleaning and I found that hat.
It's white and it's maroon on the bottom.
And that's maroon is probably the best bro color that I know of.
And I would say boning in that flat belt ducks inaugural season hat
for my birthday is going to be very nice you a solani guy or korea guy always liked solani team
of solani beast although i did see paul korea at the gym one time on a balance ball with one leg
dude catching a medicine ball really his calves were insane when he worked out a cutting edge
cutting edge exactly todd norman saw todd norman I also saw... Lindsay Davenport. Exactly.
Dude.
You said her power clean was insane, right?
Dude.
And she was older at that time.
Like, she was like a veteran player.
Yeah, that's like 28 in like female tennis, though.
Yeah.
Right?
So she was a fucking beast.
Broad shoulders, too.
Fucking tank.
So, yeah.
Hot.
So hot, dude.
So my beef is just the experiences that I haven't had.
And here's the thing that I'm going to do with that beef.
Crush them and have those experiences.
Beef Krush.
Air on.
Who's your beef of the week?
My beef of the week is with organizing people.
It's the worst.
I mean, I have the studio.
And then I have two softball teams.
So I'm just kind of burnt out with like,
can you please just fucking sign up for next season?
Yeah.
It's all online.
I don't have to fill out any paperwork.
Just log in and do it.
You have to hit people up to sign up?
Yeah.
No, you handle a lot, dude, and we all appreciate it.
And you're a fucking beast for coming out here too.
That's a lot.
Heavy as the head that wears the crown dog yeah but new call sign based off that still prefer dick dealer
maybe organizer or logistics i like logistics logistics logistics on my six
and then you need back a department i don't know no all right fine we'll keep thinking
we got a couple weeks the movie comes out in a few weeks what about I need backup. I don't know. Alright, fine. We'll keep thinking.
We got a couple weeks. The movie comes out in a few weeks.
What about Cumshot?
I think that's you.
I think maybe instead of Stoker
you should be Cumshot.
And I think you'd be a lot happier in your plane.
You are smiling a lot.
You look really happy.
You look really, really happy.
I'd be laughing during war.
We'd be in a dog fight.
But that's your energy.
That's going to make you fight better.
Totally.
Cumshot, where are you?
Cumshot's on your six, baby.
Dude, I'm not flying in a squad with you and Kevin.
I can't do it.
Oh, dude, Kevin.
Oh, bro.
His call sign would want to be daddy.
Load master.
Yeah, dude.
Ropes.
Ropes.
Yeah, throw ropes.
All right, dude, we get it.
Dude, Kevin's flying.
And just going,
eh, eh, eh, on comms.
He's like, shut up, dude.
We don't know where the migs are.
Dude, you know that scene
where Tom Cruise goes inverted
over the mig to flip him off?
Kevin would do that,
except he'd smush his dick
and balls against the cockpit.
He'd be all intense after we'd see him. He'd be Like, JT, did you see me teabag that guy?
Dude, exactly. I'd be like, yeah, dude, I saw it. He'd be like, but did you
really see it? Did you see me teabag him?
Why aren't you joining in on this? I'd be like, bro, chill.
Chill on the tea. What was your favorite
part of it, if you saw it? Tell me your favorite part of what I
did. I didn't really do that.
I didn't really do that. You didn't watch. Oh, yeah, dude,
I didn't watch you teabag. I'm sorry, dude.
You think Cumshot is... Yeah, I didn't watch. Oh, yeah, dude. I didn't watch your teabag. I'm sorry, dude. You think cum shot is...
Yeah, I think cum shot.
Chad, who is...
Teabag is also a good one.
Yeah.
You could also just be daddy.
You're a dad.
I'm a dad.
That's true.
Kevin's going to have some...
Yeah, but we don't want Kevin to get that.
It's just me being political at this point.
You know, he did ask to have the word daddy on his jersey,
and I said no.
Really?
Yeah, of course.
I was like, no.
Chad, who's your babe of the week?
My babe of the week.
Well, it's my nutsack.
You know, I covered this before because I totally forgot.
But I just want to pay homage to my nutsack. You've been through a lot.
I still think you produce good jizz.
You're black and blue right now,
but that doesn't mean that your strength
and your courage isn't true.
And I love you.
And I'll be here for you through this recovery process.
I feel you. And you've been a good sack.
So thank you.
What'd you think about that?
Dick dealer.
Call sign.
Dick dealer.
I love that You wanna do
Cardio
Playing
Take it off
Strider
Who's your babe of the week
My babe of the week
Is my freaking
Dank ass fiance dude
Hell yeah dude
She's about to graduate
From grad school
She's been kicking ass For two years so Hell yeah dude she's a freaking legend dude working and
studying so she's a freaking beast way to get it done aaron who's your baby the week my baby of
the week is i just finished ozark it's intense it's bleak it's it doesn't end well for anybody
um but my my baby of the week is uh the actress who plays Ruth, Julia Garner.
Nice.
She won a couple Emmys.
She's just amazing.
Is that the daughter in it?
No.
The curly blonde hair?
The curly blonde hair.
She was inventing Anna.
Oh, okay.
I mean, that accent's a little weird, but she's a chameleon.
She can kind of do anything.
That's awesome.
She crushes it in that show.
Yeah.
My babe of the week is Strider's dank-ass fiance.
Dude called her for advice the other day.
She was the best.
She gives great advice.
She's super compassionate.
And she's funny, too.
She is.
She's funny.
She gets it, dude.
She gets it.
She had one great joke where we were all hanging out,
talking about bay leaves.
And you know how you can't eat a bay leaf in soup?
And we were talking about the crazy ingredients in soup and she's like yeah i'm taking by what
are they gonna put in next a gun and we all started dying laughing and i was like come here
i love you for that she's the best she can dance circles around me check who's your legend of the
week um my legend of the week uh so i went to the doctor to get my nut sack checked sorry i'm
talking about my nuts so much but never apologize what's going on in my life i'd like to hear about
it yeah on your channel thank you thank you bros so uh my legend of the week is dr o
because uh you know you you go to the doctor and they're like what's going on i'm like hey i fell
you know blah blah blah
he's like all right let's see it pull my pants down he's like oh jesus
i was like yeah you think i'd be okay he's like yeah fuck that must have hurt and i'm like yeah
he's like yeah it'll be good though just give it uh give some time i'm like, yeah. He's like, yeah, it'll be good though. Just give it some time.
I'm like, all right, dude.
Did he like tell you to ice it or anything?
Yeah, he's like, take some ibuprofen, ice it, stay elevated.
How do you elevate your nuts?
He's like, you can't really do that.
So I'm like, I've just been laying on the couch with a pillow under my ass to try and elevate a little bit.
But, yeah. with a pillow under my ass to try and elevate a little bit but yeah let's go but just that reaction you know doctors just supposed to keep it you know cool
yeah Oh Jesus I like that real talk though that's nice yeah you know he's
giving you the straight shit yeah cuz i was trying to be you know scientific with him too i was like yeah i think the testicles are fine he's like
i'm like but it's just it's like he's like yeah i mean when your balls hurt it's just it's the
worst i'm like yeah that's what i was trying to get at yeah you're trying to say something
hey bro your balls are all fucked up hey bro your balls they're all fucked up
you got a destroyed nutsack, dude.
Do you know?
That's exactly what he sounds like.
Hey, dude, I looked at your balls.
They're all fucked up.
I'm going to tell the nurse the same thing.
Don't fuck your balls up anymore, and you'll be all right.
But your balls are fucked up for a while.
Dude, that's crazy.
That's exactly what he wrote in my chart.
Yeah, I'm a doctor.
Balls are fucked up.
You got a fat fucking baby inside you and the fucking baby's gonna
come out in a while so you're gonna have a fucking kid it'll be fucking awesome
strider who's your uh legend of the week dude my legend of the week are you three bros and i'll
tell you why it's true and here's the reason why for like you guys are legends every week but guess
what i was uploading that podcast that we were on their day at the w that was the 100th episode of history is dank baby i didn't even realize it let's go
aaron produces is is the baron of the sticks you bros got it you know made at atc and then you
know we've been putting in the works all legends dude and teamwork is dream work you know what i
mean you you know it's another step we're not works. All legends, dude, and teamwork is dream work. You know what I mean? You know, it's another step.
We're not at the top of the mountain, but we're making our way up.
And it's a sick-ass mountain.
It's a fun-ass hike.
And, you know, we've just made a little base camp of dankness,
and we're enjoying it.
Straight out of your beast, dude.
At 100.
Yeah.
Congrats, man.
Thank you.
Congrats on 100, dude.
You're a beast.
Thank you, bro.
Thanks.
Such a fun podcast.
Stokers, check it out.
I'm sure all you guys all know, but history is dank podcast. but history is dank podcast best dude start a best energy in the game best energy it's all vibes
baby that's all i got dude fucking vibes dude vibes and vibes and thighs dude best energy best
wit best dink yeah i could deal so much little dick that almost equaled one good size dick whoa
yeah oh yeah that yeah that's what you
do and you know dude i can tell a girl like it's not quick it's not fair to judge someone based on
you know a minute-long interaction wait for a little more don't judge me yet let's not be so
look let's not be so quick to judge i won't be so quick but you don't be so quick to judge
Let's not be so quick to judge.
I won't be so quick, but you don't be so quick to judge.
It's like you come quick, but you've got a lot of cum.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, and I was on a healthy protein diet.
I was in the midst of a pyramid scheme.
This fucking dude named Jordan, I forget his name,
was slinging protein powder and he was so yoked and wore a chain necklace and made me want one.
And I was like, I'm buying that protein powder.
He's like, cool.
Buy fucking 30 boxes from me and I sold zero dude yeah just did all of it
did I do I developed a heart murmur did you pretty much yeah fucking heart
started your rhythmic beating dude be going to bed just fucking feel my heart
pounding that's what you drink Red Bull vodka you know you wake up next day and you're like body feels like an overheated motorcycle that
just drove across the desert you're like what the fuck is going on here exactly dude saying right
exactly sweating shit you like do you like when you look sweaty after partying you get that that
sweaty kind of bear lip not that in hot yoga i do that's hot that's nice
aaron who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is jason bateman
continuing my ozark theme i mean dude's been in acting since like silver spoons
he's like and now he's directing he's awesome at that he's funny he can be do drama in this kid in ozark itself he's
like you just kind of even though you know he's like emotionally completely shut off to most
everybody in his life he's still kind of rude for him because he's like still sees the bigger
picture of everything and he's always thinking yeah it's just he's just awesome smart dude he's
a beast yeah rips on that pod too yeah i like
smartless a lot he rips on it dude my legend of the week is rachel hall our oh hell yeah our agent
at uta what up rage dude she is so good at her job she's amazing at her job always coming to us
with ideas and opportunities and and vision which is what you want but then at the same time she's
one of the
best hangs of all time yeah and she loves to party and i love to party and when we go out
we're like danny glover and mel gibson on the cover of lethal weapon we're back to back dude
and we're looking to cause some mischief and trouble keep it cool but have fun randy if you
will get a little oh i like that and she has just the most fun like lowercase c chaotic just joyous energy and i just
i love hanging with her i love shooting the shit with her and uh yeah i'm just i feel so blessed
that uh that we get to work with her and also hang out with her so rachel awesome she's so fun
she's so funny too great one of the best laughers in the game that's i think that's such a huge
like you just know you're gonna have a good time because she just she loves to laugh and she talks shit too yeah she could shit talk yeah it's fun um
what a player you call her a player right i do yeah that's what's up she is awesome i didn't
even know she was your guys's agent i was like she's just fucking cool sometimes you think of
an agent as being a someone in a suit dude yeah dude all our agents are like
not suits chad what's your quote of the week uh my quote of the week comes from seinfeld
it's um kramer won you know was a seat filler at the tony's and basically fell into winning a tony
award and he parties all night with like all the he's like jerry it
was a whirlwind the champagne was flowing everyone's singing and then my favorite part
of that episode is uh jerry's like but you didn't win a tony and he's like ah jerry i'm not gonna
let you bring me down off this high i've been partying
all night we watched the sunset we watched the sunrise at liza's and george is like manelli's
no just like instant response of no always kill me we watched the sunrise at liza's. Minnelli's? No.
I just fucking love that show.
That's my quote.
Strider?
This could also be a phrase for getting after it for the week, but it's
not my phrase for getting after the week. It's my quote.
And it is,
destiny is all. And that's
Uhtred, played by Alexander Draymond,
who's a beast, the show last kingdom which is
so dank um if you're looking to crush it i love viking stuff although i did not like the north
minute blue um and he's the man dude and now i just love talking like utrid i only talk to my
dog like that i'll be like sonny you must eat your dinner Pretty soon my dank fiance will be home and she will give you your greenie.
But you cannot have that if you don't eat your meat.
I love it, dude.
And it's hilarious that that's the way that a main character has talked for six seasons.
He rips, dude.
Let's go.
He's the man, dude.
Aaron, what's your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is the best line of the entire show of Ozark.
I don't know shit about fuck.
That's a great line.
That's a great line.
Also Robin Williams.
Dudes, I'm going to do like a fire you up speech,
so I need good energy from you guys.
Let's go.
To really channel into it.
Because I got doubt.
Like cheering you on?
Like varsity blues.
Like I want you guys to be like warrior football players right now.
Yeah, like that presence that you got right now.
Okay.
Yeah.
If we go out there and we half-ass it because we're scared,
then all we're left with is an excuse.
We're always going to wonder.
But if we could go out there and we give it absolutely everything,
that's heroic.
Let's be heroes.
Let's go, boys! Let's go, boys!
There goes my heroes.
Watch him as he goes.
Dude, all the tackles in that movie
are just fucking dudes jumping down
like out of a helicopter,
landing on dudes.
Insanity, dude. The trajectory's insane, dude. No, like... And you're all like, movie are just fucking dudes jumping down like out of a helicopter landing on this insanity the
trajectory is insane no like it's and you're all like dude how is everyone six three two six high
school football game yeah the best four speed the best acting scott khan did was get to be six five
250 for that show i got issues no no he's he's like really like five four like you know 130
he's looking good i see him at at Arrow on once in a while.
Boost.
Chad, what's your phrase of the week for getting after it?
Dick dealer on your six.
Oh, yeah.
Love it.
Popping it.
Oh, yeah.
Shrouder, what about you, dog?
Maybe it's...
You can't handle the dick.
Aaron?
I am the dick dealer.
Oh, let's go, dude.
Let's go!
Let's go!
That was varsity blues, dude.
It's okay to eat fish
because they don't have it. What song is that? That's from blues, dude. It's okay to eat fish. Don't have it.
What song is that?
That's from Batman, dude.
Oh, yeah.
He's the emo dick dealer, dude.
Dude, we're all in our jets, you know, and a plane gets taken out.
Who was that guy?
I'm dick dealer.
I'm the dick dealer.
Dick dealer.
Let's go.
Beautiful call signs.
All right, we good? Yeah, baby, let's go. Good stuff, guys. You're going let's go you're gonna hit an ellen you're
gonna do a workout with the 45s putting it on they're gonna do it our kettlebell thread like
it's a workout thread with some guys we do the same workout once a week for a month and then
we switch workouts this week we're doing ellen it's a wad you can find it online strider's about
to hit his at the crib dude yep it's 25 it's 25, or excuse me, 20 burpees, 21 for some reason,
dumbbell snatches from the floor alternating,
and 12 thrusters, three rounds for time.
And we're doing it with the 45.
It's going to be beastly.
Let's go.
Let's go. Really nice, you wanna know What to do, where to go
When you need someone to guide you
Just a half a close beside you
Go and see
Go and see
Let's go deep
Go with me
God and game
Deep