Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 241 - Fahim Anwar Joins
Episode Date: June 1, 2022What up stokers?! This week we got comedian, Fahim Anwar, on the pod. Check out his new special "Hat Trick" He's hilarious Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. ...That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code [GODEEP]. Athleticgreens.com/godeep to take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance! Get stoked on science! Download Quantified Citizen on Android or iOS
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All right, guys, let's start them are too embarrassed to admit it.
That's hilarious.
That's so odd though. Like, how do you not, are you just like an Android?
I think so.
Yeah, what do you do?
Yeah, you just like turn it off.
You listen to books on tape. Can we put this in the pot is this all being recorded? Okay. This is gold. You don't want to lose this
This is pod gold baby. It makes me wanna do you guys so like there's like 10% of people who don't
Get music. Do you uh, do you believe asexual people when they say they're asexual?
I believe it. I feel like everything's a spectrum right like i don't understand just like
going through it with nothing but i believe right yeah do you think they had some
semblance of like sort of like oh i think i'm getting like horny right now and then over time
they're like that's gone maybe maybe there's some like really productive people who are like
why am i and it's also a thing that happens as you get older's some like really productive people who are like why am i
and it's also a thing that happens as you get older as well like in your 20s
it's all about you can only think to busting a nut you know you can't think beyond the nut
yeah so like after you bust a nut you're like why am i in riverside you know you don't care
you don't care how hard it is how much it throws a wrench into your next
day and all these things yeah you just need to nut right i drove 60 miles for a girl who didn't
confirm the date with me and then i was out there and i was like hey where are you at she was like
she felt bad we ended up going on a follow-up date because of the investment i made but
looking back on i'm like are you why did i do that four hour just like roll of the dice oh yeah the 20s are all like
in your 20s it's all about that but like in your 30s you start doing like fuck math yeah like the
probability it's like a girl will tag like hey we're at we're at this bar come and then you're
like okay what time is it it's like 150 yeah all right the bar is almost going to close parking's
going to be tough i may not get there in time she's there with like three or four friends like it's going to be hard to separate
her from her friends like they're not going to like nothing's going to happen yeah so then you
know well enough to be like i'm going to call it a night when you're 20 you're like all right i'll
be there yeah even though there's you know it's like poker i'll be there yeah like in poker they
show the odds of winning the hand yeah that's if you do fuck you're holding a two and a seven and
you're like i'm going all in you're not're gonna win this one i hit that early i hit that
early where i'm like i because i'm such a like morning person even though i'm a comic i'm like
10 p.m i'm like past 10 like i'm fucking going to bed i remember you were seeing someone and
you're like she wants to have too much sex and it's like ruining my surf the next day because
i'm i'm spilling too much chi and i don't have the energy to get out no i would be honest i'd be like i'd be like i gotta dry my wetsuits because i used to
teach surfing yeah i gotta dry my wetsuits well that probably drove her even wilder like oh my
god the surfer doesn't even want to fuck me he's so disciplined he's married to the waves
i've done patrol that makes me laugh too you were saying asexual people must get stuff done and i
was like you imagine it's like an unproductive asexual person you're like well what are you doing all day totally like well that's the thing
is like there there's that but then it's also like sex drives people so much to do great things
you know what i mean yeah so it's like there could be just asexual people who just live right you
know they exist outside of desire they're like peace yeah they're like i don't have any desire
to like achieve because then anything just coast. There's nothing motivating me
They don't feel like they have to conquer the world. Yeah, that's nice
Might be the ticket. Yeah, Neil Brennan had a bit about like how every invention was just because some guy was trying to get laid
Like yeah, Ben Franklin is sort of like check it out. He's just like it was all just to get laid
It wasn't a better humanities. Like I like, I don't got the looks,
but check this shit out.
Or like Bill Gates.
Like,
yo,
check out word.
You want to suck my dick now?
Like everything is sex driven.
Oh yeah,
totally.
Probably.
Yeah.
Some biological reproductive necessity.
Yeah.
But I do get the asexuals viewpoint.
Like if you aren't plugged in to like sex and all that stuff,
it is so much investment for like,
it's not that long,
you know?
I mean, I know there's tropes of like lasting all night long,
but like if you're doing it right or whatever,
you shouldn't.
It's like so much for,
you're just,
you're sort of like moving your body a little bit and then it's over.
Yeah.
It's a lot of,
it's a lot of investment.
Has comedy helped you with the gals?
I don't know.
Like I think there's two types of comedians.
There's some guys who do comedy to fuck, right?
Sure.
There's some guys who just want to crush, and it's all about like... They do the same.
It's the mojo.
As soon as they get off stage, they just check in their DMs,
just waiting for, you're funny, or you're cute.
It's almost like they're solely in the comedy just to fuck.
Your act out of the texting is so good, by the way.
It isn't just...
So can you see from your face?
Can you tell when someone's checking DMs?
Yeah, yeah, because text is like this.
And then when they go into Instagram, it goes...
The lips go...
It's like bass face.
Have you noticed anyone who plays bass can't have...
It's so funky that it contorts.
Yeah, you got to do the...
Like I used to play bass and I couldn't not play without...
Feeling the funk.
There's just something about it where it's hard to like get down without doing the fizz face.
They say too like in a like weightlifting, like I used to do these like amateur kettlebell competitions
And they'd always like relax your face like you're burning energy like if you make like a grimace when you're weightlifting you're like ah
Like that's stressing your body out somehow so there is like no be like placid be like
Just stoic interesting. Did you say kettlebell competition? Yeah, I did brother
You're just gonna gloss over, like we accept that.
Is it like, yes, kettlebell competitions.
We're all familiar with this.
I will say it wasn't the deepest pool of competitors.
It was me and like 40 of the same people at every single one.
How does it work?
Is it just like trying to clean the most weight?
No, it's cleaning jerks.
And you go for 10 minutes and try to get as many reps as you can with the highest weight.
And who puts this on? Kettlebell like jason dolby or uh scott green are these big names in the
kettlebell arena they're luminaries of the sport i'm sorry for i'm kind of shocked you don't know
that i don't know but uh yeah they were wonderful kettlebellers and uh but there was a lot of that
where they were like you got to control your face that's where a lot of your feeling goes but i
think bass is different because it animates it.
That's true.
I always notice Lars on Metallica when he does the drums.
He makes a lot of face.
He's like, that's part of it though.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's into it.
Lars is doing the thing.
You don't want like the Zen drummer.
Right.
Yeah.
You want to be so overcome with what you're doing.
You want them to seem like their whole body is an instrument.
They're moving with it.
Totally.
Kings of Leon was the most popular band in my mid-20s.
Oh, they had a run.
I probably saw them in concert.
What's their big one?
Sex is on Fire.
I think that's one of the best songs of all time.
My sex is on fire.
I remember whenever that song would come on,
people would think I was on coke because I got so fired up.
I would just be grabbing my guy friends and be like screaming at him.
Certain songs will do that to people.
Those guys are terrible in concert.
I don't think.
Really?
I think they kind of got matched together as a band because they realized
that two of them were brothers.
Like, hey, the other guys should be family members too.
Then it's like kind of a consistent theme, you know?
But I don't think the two other family members can really play that well.
So the music's great. But when you see them in concert two guys are trying really hard to play their instruments like they're looking at the they can't they can't not look at
their their fingers while they're playing guitar you're like i think this guy might be bad at guitar
i always like when you see a band or a group and there's just like one errant member that makes no
sense like the 98 degrees
there was like the two hard drops and then like the dad dude i gotta look at the old guy or yeah
was it an older brother was it a friend who was that he's got to be the friend it was like a late
edition he's got to be the brother yeah or he's just like a chaperone he's the donnie walberg i
think there's something to the alchemy of a boy band where they're like well they can't all be hot
because then you don't showcase the hot guys now because every boy band there was always one or two where you're like yeah like chris kirkpatrick
or joey fatone and and synchrony but they're role players they're you they're the utility that you
also need them so you know what is hot exactly right yeah it's sort of like the coffee beans
yeah because if they're all heartthrobs like you need that dynamic like the cute one yeah it's fun
watching them in the background too just really sort of focus on the movies just
there's also a mature it's like it's just a guy doing his job
i punch in the clock i go in there and i do my job i showcase these other guys just a blue
colored guy yeah it is a sweet gig i think how quickly you accept your
new reality you know when you're in the boy band i'm sure there was a moment when like lance bass
or joey fatone was like talking to their agents like why aren't i getting the jt treatment where's
my solo album yeah because you just you're so close to being the guy that you you feel entitled
to be that right and then you like you're better than
him like one day and then you're like it's a confirmation you need it i'm learning the steps
way before jt like it takes i don't like give me the reins just give me one shot way before jt yeah
i mean we're all waiting for jt to learn the steps like i have it nailed i'm a better dancer so you
know at the concert they just want to come out and like say something after something by the way i
learned that dance a month faster than jt just in case any of you were wondering the crowd
the wrong step jt you missed that i want to try to like become a star just like one show just take
the mic and he tried it and the crowd just wasn't having it yeah yeah speaking of dancing you're a
phenomenal oh yeah dude where did you learn well i think i'm good
for a comedian i mean i don't know i think you're good for a layman yeah i guess even by dancer
standards i think you're good you connect well i will say i feel the music like whenever we talk
dancing or whenever it comes up i don't know if i'm the most technically sound or anything like
that but that stuff's overrated. Yeah, it's overrated
Like I didn't I didn't go to school for it or anything
I just kind of like I was really into Michael Jackson when I was a kid
So I started really young and I would try to mimic his dance moves, but Michael was all about feeling the music
Yeah, when he dances, it's it's almost like he's a vessel. Yeah, and his body is an extension of the music
But then there's some like pop stars and stuff
it almost seems like they're doing mad libs of dancing they're just doing what they were
choreographed to do and they don't feel it in every fiber of their body yeah um so i feel it
yeah i'm aware of that too when i watch people dance you can see people who are proficient
dancers but sometimes a worse dancer but who's you know really connected yeah it's always more powerful cuz yeah you can feel they're like life force coming
yeah totally I mean this sounds like hippy-dippy or whatever but like you can
you can tell when someone is sort of like it's almost like riding a dance
wave or a groove and they're just in it because I'll catch some dancing stuff on
Instagram and the ones that feel it stand out to me more than the people who are just like technically proficient do you have a
song you like to dance to like one that really agrees with your hips and your your physical logic
i'm trying to think it ebbs and flows it's sort of like whatever the newest jam that i'm digging
i always love the new i've always gravitated lim the new. You showed me that Limon Limon one. Which one? During the pandemic. Limon Limon.
Oh, from the video?
Yeah.
Yeah, you hit me up.
You're like, I love that song.
Yeah, yeah.
What's Limon Limon?
By Carlos Cano?
I used it.
No, I forget what it is.
No, it's like the artist is Limon Limon.
Yeah, I used it in this little Instagram sketch.
And he was like, I love that song.
I don't think I got the right band.
I was really into
michael jackson as a kid too and i taught myself like the moonwalk and all that kind of stuff i
won a fifth grade talent show doing i just broke it out and then i would like i was kind of shy
about it though and then i broke out in high school one time i was just like been walking
down the fucking hallway i went to boarding school and um this girl goes
do you just teach that yourself in your she goes do you just teach yourself that in your room alone
i was like what no she pulled back the curtain dude yeah i was already shy about it and that
just that just drove it deeper down that was like so truth-cutting because i i wanted to do a sketch
like that sometime where you know like an enc man. There was this thing that would happen
in all these 90s movies
where the nerds would go to the cool kids' house party
and they'd have a cassette
and they'd go, pop this in.
And then it would play
and then the three nerds, an Encino man or whatever,
would start doing this choreographed dance
and everyone's like, yeah!
Oh my God, these dancers are so cool.
We had no idea these nerds were cool this whole time.
And they like high five each other.
And I just wanted one person to do what that girl did,
to be like, did you guys like practice that dance at home,
at one of your houses and choreograph it?
And you go, um, yeah.
And they all just think you're a fucking nerd
instead of the cool person.
It takes away the cool factor immediately.
Yeah.
And that shot of Napoleon Dynamite just drinking the Gatorade, that's so truthful. fucking nerd instead of the cool person it takes away the cool factor immediately yeah is it like
that back and that shot of napoleon dynamite just drinking the gatorade that's so truthful we're
just like sweating and you're just break it out yeah yeah michael was for me too i would do this
thing where i would run for student council uh like asb and all that but it would always the
talent show would always be right before the elections so i would
do my michael jackson for the assembly and i would crush it because i would do billy jean i would
have the hat and everything and i was good at it and then everyone would vote for me because i was
the michael jackson kid that's how dumb kids are yeah they're just like oh fuck yeah i like this
michael jackson i'll vote for him for treasury treasury oh right I beat a girl
two grades ahead of me
just because I was
a Michael Jackson kid
yeah
yeah
she should have gotten it
but she couldn't moonwalk
well being a Michael Jackson kid
is like the ultimate
that's like
that's talent
dude I'm telling you
it was
like back in our day
if you can do what he can do
yeah
do you think kids are still doing
Michael Jackson for talent shows
or is it Chris Brown
or
that's good or no yeah kids are Gen Z is not signing off doing Michael Jackson for talent shows? Or is it Chris Brown? That's a good question.
Gen Z is not signing off on Michael Jackson.
They'll get canceled by the student body.
Is there doing Harry Styles like this thing?
That's way easier.
Just the imaginary suspenders?
Yeah, kids have it so easy today to mimic Harry Styles.
That doesn't take a lot
no it's not as much technical skill yeah it's more hair and just vibe you've been playing a
lot of his videos he is very excited like he you can tell he feels it yeah he's trying to conjure
up some joy yeah i watch it so much so i'm like you start to see like the performance in it right
like okay he's just kind of he's got a plan that it's almost like now i'm gonna be organic now i'm gonna be free
now i'm gonna feel inspired right yeah but wait how did we yeah i don't know what kids are kids
probably still listen to michael jackson yeah i don't know do they find it problematic or can they
table that because i know my generation's like alright That's over here, but thrillers so impactful and I'm still gonna enjoy this. Yeah, but I don't know this is a speculation
I feel like it's harder for the younger generation to separate that stuff
And they're like if my friends hear me listening to Michael Jackson
but all those like mumblecore rappers that they listen to or like
Do pretty egregious things right not to generalize but I don't think your thing
Well, you know how TI is doing stand-up now?
Yeah, how do you feel about that?
It's interesting.
Well, I guess what I love about stand-up is
everyone thinks they can do it
because on its surface,
it seems like you're just holding a microphone.
I've made people laugh before.
I can go up there.
They think that it's like one for one.
Like, oh, I've made friends and stuff laugh can but making friends laugh and a room full of strangers are two very different
things yeah, so I love when
artists who are famous in their own right step into the arena and think that it's gonna be
They'll have just as much success or it'll be that much easy because they get parlay whatever and then realize that it's a completely different thing yeah artistically totally so it's tough like ti's having some
harder sets because he's he's new to it yeah no matter who you are it's not like a knock on ti
it's just like there's a process to it but what i found interesting is because there was some viral
videos going around of like what he's saying on stage and like he has a better chance of being canceled as a comedian as opposed to what you say in rap music.
Yeah, of course.
It's almost like you can get away with whatever the fuck you want.
If you have all this trans material or whatever, if you have like a hot beat under it, no one is going to care.
They'd be like, yeah, fuck yeah.
But if you go, how you guys doing tonight?
Tip your weights up and you say the same shit, your life is over.
you go how you guys doing tonight tip your weights up and you say the same shit your life is over so all my edgier shit i'm just gonna have a dj and just i'm just gonna rap my jokes that's a
really good idea
right it was just so interesting because ti was in the news for all his viewpoints and things
he's saying when he's been doing rap that talks about like
problematic stuff but nobody cares if you can vibe to it totally but comedians for some reason
are just like it's because you're just straight saying it it's so interesting man you know what
it is like i wanted to try it as a bit sometime but like the pov or what i mean the take that i'm
trying to have is like it is a performance
But people like if you see someone like it raped in a play or something
People understand that it is a production. There's characters. There's costumes and it's part of whatever is happening in this play
Nobody like cancels the actor and or just like what the fuck are you doing? And it doesn't become this firestorm
But stand-up, it's so like meat and potatoes,
just kind of like guy, it's so stripped
because you're wearing your regular street clothes,
you're holding a microphone.
No one values it as a performance anymore.
They think that you're just a guy who got off the bus
and these are your views wholeheartheartedly there's no attempt at a
joke yeah they don't view it they don't view stand-up the same way as they do like a broadway
production so they scrutinize them differently which is so odd yeah there's no like suspension
of disbelief yes take it as you're on the hook yes yes they don't they don't give you the benefit
of the doubt like they will a Broadway production.
So I wanted to be like, you see how I'm holding this microphone and I'm on this elevated platform?
That's how you know it's a show.
And I don't completely believe everything that I say up here.
Yeah, how much do you believe in what you say on stage?
Well, that's the beauty of being a stand-up is you can jump in to believing it, jump out of it.
You can be so nimble. Some of it I believe, some of it I don't. But that's the beauty of being a stand-up is like you can jump in to believing it jump out of it you can be so nimble like some of it i believe some of i don't yeah but that's that's the beauty of performance yeah like i don't have to be like now i'm being serious now i'm joking like you're a jester you
get to play all the sides yeah i guess because it's so it's the two like your real life like who
you are in real life and stuff it just blends blends so much where like, like Jesselnik though, he like steps into,
he steps into his character where he's very clearly like,
I am becoming Jesselnik now, you know what I mean?
Whereas like, that's so like clearly defined. So I think that's,
that's a good point because his stuff is so edgy throughout the entire set
that you know, like, okay, he's doing a thing.
Yeah, and he's almost like daring you to take him seriously.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's almost like baiting you into taking him seriously.
And you're kind of a fool if you do jump at it.
I think early on, some people who didn't know what he did
were baited into being like, but like now people,
you should know what he does by now.
Yeah.
Do you think there's like a corollary too between, I been thinking about this lately like comedians who are really nice on stage and
in their performance are generally not as nice off stage and then i never met justin like but
i've heard he's like super sweet off stage and it's like it's almost like he gets all that
uh antagonistic energy out on stage and then so when's off stage, he's just like cleared the hopper
and he can just be like a sweetheart of a guy.
But if you have to perform as a kind person
and you're boxed into that,
then when you get off stage,
like someone's like, great set,
you're like, fuck off.
Fuck you.
Like Jerry Seinfeld.
Oh yeah, cause you know me.
You almost resent the audience
for like buying into the ruse of you as like a kind person. i'm always kind of tickled when someone's like kind of an i'm tickled when someone's like
portraying like the nice guy and like podcast and stand up and then when i find out like someone's
like that guy's actually a monster like i fucking knew it dude dude i fucking knew it it's so
satisfying when i found out jared was a you know jared from subway yeah it was a man was a pedophile I was like I knew it you were a
Call it do what do they be like years prior you're like I swear to God he's a pedophile
There's just something about him and everyone thinks you're crazy and then you're vindicated
My brothers were calling me they're like you're fucking right
were calling me they're like you're fucking right right dude i was like girl there was vegas i've always wanted no but but in in serious though like like my brothers i would always be
like to everybody's like he's a piece of shit jared he's a piece of shit and then afterwards
my brothers are like how'd you call that i'm like i don't know good judge of character bro i will
say when you saw those commercials there was this weird fake smile yeah you know yeah and i don't
know if that was chalking it up to just like not being in the entertainment business or anything
yeah or if it was like he was hiding a secret yeah i think it's like he's just like i'm like
really you did that by eating veggie sandwiches go fuck yourself do you think you also fuck kids
do you think he would have become was he always uh he always a deviant to the degree that he was?
Or did being the subway guy...
Like the fame?
The fame?
It went to his head?
Did that corrupt him?
And he's like, I'm above the law.
He's like, I lost all this weight and I'm making all this subway money.
I can have sex with kids now.
No one can tell me shit.
That's a tough one too. Because if you jared like a good thing that keeps me from and i don't have those impulses
thank god but like good thing that keeps me from bad behavior is like checking with my buddies
beforehand you know what i mean being like yeah man i'm thinking about doing this thing like what
are you thinking they're like oh man that doesn't sound yeah he didn't have a jared's
he can't be driving with jared he's like i'm like what's going on dog
you seem a little restless over there he's like yeah man you know i've just been thinking about
like molesting kids lately is that a good idea i'd be like no no but actually pull over and never
talk to me again sorry for clearing this with me he's got a bunch of subway yes men around him
though yeah maybe one of us a hype man like jerry did the fucking have you heard that tom
sagara story where they were gonna have part of the ad campaign there Jared was gonna have a brother like he almost was Jared's brother
Yeah
Well on the internet where he tells this story
Yeah, but like I think he went to one convention or something
So there's this alternate universe where he was almost like roped into that subway ad machine. He's almost Tom Fogel
Okay. Yeah, I Tom Fogel.
Yeah, I think it was.
Yeah, I forgot what the name was.
I had a buddy who was almost Harvey Weinstein's assistant.
And I was like pushing him to do it.
I was like, bro, you get to work with a titan of industry.
You'll get a perspective on the universe that few people get.
He was like, no, it doesn't feel right for me.
And then now I'm like, dude.
Good call.
Good fucking call, man.
That would have been some dirt you'd never get off of you. It's a weird resume thing.
Yeah.
It's like Spacey, Weinstein.
You're like, whoa, this guy knows how to pickle.
This guy's got a dog whistle ear for Predators.
Michael Jackson, R. Kelly.
The FBI hires him to find the next one.
They're like, who else is doing dirt?
You know, you got x-ray vision for this shit.
He's like, I don't know.
They all seem like good guys to me.
Yeah.
That's hilarious.
So, dude, you got a special coming out tomorrow yeah dude where'd you record it at the comedy
store oh cool yeah main room all of them so that's kind of the beauty of the special man like
the my first special i did at a theater i did it like traditionally you know
theater lights and all that at a you know nice stage and all but then for this one there's just so many specials
nowadays i was thinking yeah and like how do you stand out you kind of want to take what you do
and elevate it just to cut through all the noise because i was going to do the material from this
special again like at a theater or something but then i thought there's so many specials like who
cares kind of like even if it's a good special, how do you stand out or separate it from that?
And then I just thought like I'm a Comedy Store comic.
That's kind of rare to have access to that building and be amongst all the great comedians like Jesselnik, Marin, just Bobby.
Like every night we go there, we work out.
And I thought it'd be cooler to film a special there in all the rooms.
Because again, the comedy store has been used for specials before,
but it's always shot in one of the rooms.
It'll be in the original room or it'll be shot in the main room.
Or, you know, Chappelle has done his in the belly room.
And then also they'll dress it up.
They'll kind of set dress it and it's smoky.
And it doesn't look like
the place does every night so i just i always had this idea where i just wanted to show the
comedy store for what it is and explore the whole space so not just have one stage so i come in i do
15 in the or and then i do the main rooms and you see me go through the the back hallways and stuff
so these are it's a window into a place and and like nooks and crannies people don't normally get to see
because they only see the stage in specials and then I go up to the belly room and I do a set
there so you get a flavor of the vibe of each of the three rooms and then it's a regular night of
operation so like Bobby brings me up in the original room Jesselby brings me up in the original room jessal nick brings me up in the
main room and then uh jessica brings me up in the belly room and like tim dylan's hanging there that
night theo's there and it's just the comedian representative of like a real night yeah so it's
a real slice of life of what it's like to be a comedy store comic just bouncing around the club
yeah how'd you come up with that uh i think it was just
knowing that i want i'm ready for my next special how do i elevate it and this is something i've
noticed about the store where i'm like no i can't believe no one has done this yet um yeah it just
seemed underutilized so i just knew i had to do it this way and then i hit up peter shore of the
comedy store and i just ran it by him i go this is what i want to do um i think it would just be really neat and add a layer to this next
special i want to do and he was game and then i directed it so like you know i funded it i did
everything on my own this is i like how it's outside the system outside the industry and i
got to make it my way you know no input from anybody else i just like a comedian
got to do exactly what he wanted to do that feels consistent too with the story like i uh your lance
can't stop list videos which are incredible but like one of my favorite parts is when you're first
coming into the store and the one oh yeah hopping over the wall and it's you like breezing through
the back yeah that really did add so much i mean it added a lot to the character because i was like
okay this guy like walks in every room like he's like the main character in like an action story totally
like that but it had that same kind of like you were kind of giving us a window into how like the
store operates i didn't really think about that but yeah it is kind of analogous because even
something as simple as the opening of that lance documentary that i did it is a piece of the store that people don't,
they're not privy to.
Nobody gets to go to the back bar.
They just,
they get loaded into the showroom and they see the show.
But in that Lance intro,
I go through the hallway,
I go through the saloon doors,
get a bottle of water from behind the bar.
So it's like,
oh cool,
I've never seen that before.
It's a little Goodfellas-y.
Yeah.
And there's more of that.
There's more of that in this special.
Like Tarantino was there as well. Whoa. Is's there a lot huh i'm trying i'm trying to think the last time he was there before i saw him and that's it that's in there like you see him that's cool
i'm talking to tarantino it's like nuts he's nice too because everyone always takes photos with him
he's the he hung out the whole night like he enjoyed the show like he was talking to me he's
very complimentary and and i thought he was gonna leave but he just hung out with us the whole night like he enjoyed the show like he was talking to me he was very complimentary and and i thought he was gonna leave but he just hung out with us the whole night he's such a
comedy fan yeah because he was talking about before he was famous or anything he would just come
to the commissar all the time and he was like he knew kinnison before kinnison got big you know
because kinnison was ripping and stuff yeah that. That's a... So do you start...
So you go and do three different sets.
Do you start the set in each like...
Or does it go like into like your like mid set?
Kind of that.
So like I start the set in the original room.
Yeah.
And that kind of kicks off the special.
But I didn't want to have to start it in every room.
Right.
That's kind of the part of stand-up that I hate the most.
It's just like, hey, how you guys doing?
Just that pitter-patter before you get into this shit.
It's the worst part.
The first 10 seconds of the fucking work.
So I just wanted to do that in one room
and then kind of pick up in all the other rooms.
Yeah.
Like, we get it.
Right.
I don't want to be like, how y'all doing tonight
in every fucking room.
I've been funny to keep that in mind.
I'll assume they're doing it.
Yeah.
It's funny, too. Like, I always come out when i we've we've
been doing the road for like the first time this last couple months and whenever i come out on the
mic i'm always just like what's up dude how you doing i'm like super low energy and i know it's
not the right way to start my set you know like you watch kat williams dude he comes out there's
like what's up motherfuckers and the crowd's like but i i kind of don't like coming out hot because it feels like not real
yeah but i know i'm not doing it right like as i'm doing i'm like this kind of sucks there are
no rules though and also it is on brand for you or whatever feels right for you and you can make
it work and i'm sure the people coming out to the shows know you so they want you to be you they
don't need you to come out and be like what's up like they don't that would be incongruous with yeah i just don't think i'm a
high energy guy but i just don't think i'm like a what's up dallas i just don't wanna
how do you open your sets normally uh i'll try to do something immediate in the moment
like something so that they know i'm present or a quick joke.
Just trying to get them quickly.
And then I can go into my shit.
Do you write?
Do you like set aside time to write material every day?
Because you're pretty prolific.
Every time I see you, you seem to have new material.
That's nice.
Thanks, man.
I don't like sit and write with like an egg timer.
But like I do organically.
sit and write with like an egg timer but like i do organically like i'm i've just like tuned my brain to a point now where i live life and i can recognize something and then i'll jot it down on
my phone right so it's all about uh being able to receive whenever you get the idea and jotting it
down capturing it in enough words as necessary yeah like not a script but just it's almost like
a stenographer just enough idea bullet points so that I can recall it when I do a show
and then pour over what I want to do for tonight's set.
So it's just about logging it, logging the idea.
Did you improvise at all in the special?
Not really.
There was a moment in there where I'm talking about, I think,
my parents or my parents being from Afghanistan.
Then some guy, he's like, I'm asking if there's think my parents or my parents being from Afghanistan, then some guy he's like,
I'm asking if there's any Middle Eastern
or South Asian people.
And then there was an improv moment there.
So that was kind of fun just to show the organic nature
of the original room and how it's kind of like
a conversation instead of just a here it is performance.
Your parents are from Afghanistan?
Yeah.
When did they move here?
Like late 70s, my dad dad yeah what what brought them over
uh just school yeah so my dad came to college and you're like a smart you studied like engineering
yeah mechanical engineering and you work at like Boeing or something like that yeah I was at Boeing
for like three and a half years in Long Beach that's how I got out here because I was 18 when
I started doing stand-up I knew this is what i wanted to do very early on
but like i still had to go to college because my parents you know and then i could they would only
pay for certain degrees and like engineering was the lowest and i wanted to be out in four years
just so i can come out here so then i graduated i just did stand-up while going to college
then i i only applied to jobs in socal and then i got a job at boeing in
long beach so then that's how i moved out here and then i was just commuting to hollywood and
shit what were you doing at boeing stress analysis on floor beams for the 747-8 freighter and
passenger so you were testing like how much like turbulence they could withstand like kind of it
was more computational so i mean it's just like a cubicle i have two monitors and it's just all right here are the load cases so for a plane
you'll have like a wire frame of the plane and then they'll have all these different load cases
okay this is like a certain wind load case this is a landing load case so you run all these load
cases through the geometry of the floor beam and then it just tells
you where okay you need to beef it up here or you need a stronger fastener here and the design team
is next door so you go hey guys can we get like a stronger fastener or can we beef this up and
they'll do it or they'll push back like i don't know my boss is bringing down my neck we can't
make it any thicker like design really yeah interesting but the stakes are pretty high right
i guess so yeah but what if i'm just realizing that the stakes are high
i have to go
i was very economical there terry it's for him i gotta follow up on something how those planes
turn out i was way too blase when I was there for three and a half years.
I guess the stakes were very high.
Those things are in the sky.
Did you find much pleasure in the work?
It was all right.
I mean, it's not, you know, it's a desk job.
There are worse things, but it's not what you want to do ultimately it was a great stepping stone and means to an end
But I just knew that's not what I wanted for the entirety of my life when you're in airplanes flying
Are you sort of able to like log here? You're like sort of like if you get hit some turbulence like oh, that's
This is what's happening. That's the rear describe it everybody everybody become that is I work on these floor beams
We should be good.
The wing rips off.
I go, that's not my department.
Now you're on planes.
You're like, guys, I was way too blase.
So this goes down.
Yeah, this could go sideways.
I'd like to apologize just if anything happens.
I hope design is not really fucked up.
I'll tell some jokes on the way down.
Yeah, so I mean, it was a good means to an end end i was just always doing stand-up at night and then my ideal situation which ended up happening was just getting to a point where
it became obvious the job was holding me back and i'm like okay i've got a i've got a leap now
right yeah you sent out an email to everyone being like hey i'm pursuing my dreams
no man i was low-key about it i've always been that way with stand-up like
i never told people that i did it i there were like two separate worlds to me because i didn't
want people at work knowing that i do stand-up i didn't want them thinking it was affecting
my work and that my attention and energy is being split because i'm able to do both and i also
didn't want that awkward conversation at the water cooler. Like,
Oh,
are you going up tonight?
Or, or them coming out to a show and maybe you bomb.
And then it's just fucking weird for the rest of the,
you know what I mean?
There's too much pressure mixing those worlds.
Are you still like a modest about it?
Like if you're in an Uber and they're like,
what do you do?
Do you?
Oh yeah.
I'm an engineer in Ubers.
Really?
I'm still an engineer in Ubers.
Cause once you say comedian,
you've opened up Pandora's box. Cause it's like saying you're an astronaut it is i i was a physical
therapist yesterday and they was like what are you doing like comedian and then it's just like
and you don't want to you know so they're like they're like have you ever performed at the
irvine improv comedy club and you're like yeah yeah once or twice you know it's just like this very kind of look up they're like it's just they're like you on the billboard yeah you tell me they're like
so they're like so what do you really do kind of thing
whoa dude series going rogue dude she's trying to get on this pod i have such a proclivity for
sharing i'll always be like i'm gonna stand up there have you done everybody i'm like yeah
here's a video from the last time.
Oh, you will?
Yeah.
Sorry, I have to keep my eyes on the road.
No, no, no.
Just really quick.
The punchline.
I'm like, yeah, this joke worked really well.
I think I'm going to tweak the ending a little bit, though.
But yeah, watch it, dude.
Can you like it?
I'm starting to do reels.
If you could like it, that'd be good.
Yeah, what will never happen in an Uber is they go, oh, what do you do for work?
You go, stand up comedian.
And they go oh what do you do for work you go stand-up comedian yeah yeah like i would give that guy like a hundred dollar tip yeah if if you say stand-up comedian and he just nods his head and says nothing for the rest of the ride yeah that
would be an insane uber power move like yeah i don't give a fuck about this crazy lifestyle you have yeah comedian that
guy whatever i'm driving dog yeah i'm present yeah it isn't interesting it always is kind of like a
little uncomfortable for me at least i don't i don't know i don't really like
there's a weird i don't know if i like talking about it too much yes same yeah um yeah i remember
one time i went to my high school reunion
you know and then i wasn't as successful i mean i was fine i was but the question that i always
hate because you would tell people you do stand-up comedy and then they'd be like oh that's great
that's great but it just sounds like such a delusional occupation or whatever yeah so they
go like oh yeah that's great that's great's great. And you're making enough to survive?
That's what the guys literally said, not knowing how rude that is.
Not make a living, survive.
The best I can do is survive.
Eat out of dumpsters.
I'm in a co-op.
I'm living with six other guys, and I eat out of the dumpster.
But I'm living my dream.
I'm surviving.
other guys and eat out of the dumpster but you know i'm living my dream yeah i'm surviving yeah there's there's like a weird there's like a weird place to reach where it's like you don't want to
act like you're like you know a complete failure or whatever but you also don't want to like i'm
the shit you like be like well have you seen that viral clip you know what i mean it's but it's like
this happy medium i think where it's like but it's hard to i don't know i don't know yes i know you
mean whenever somebody says like how are you in this town especially because yeah they'll be like how
are you how are things yeah it's very hard to answer in a way that doesn't slant like i'm almost
homeless or i'm an asshole yes yeah yeah you just got to honor both truths and when it's not going
well be like i'm struggling then when you are crushing it, you're like, I'm literally on top of the world.
I'm literally probably destined to be the greatest that ever lived.
Thanks for asking.
Yeah, I got to do that more often.
I'm a homeless asshole.
Well, this guy's both.
He's like the blade.
Were the people at the tenure, were they surprised that you were a comedian?
Or did they kind of see that for you?
Probably surprised because I'll be funny and shit with people that I know well.
Once I've warmed up to you, I could be me.
But I very much value a conversation more so than zoinks.
Just bouncing off the walls and shit.
than Zoinks.
Sure. Just bouncing off the walls and shit.
So in a work setting,
I don't know if it'd be completely apparent,
like, oh, that guy's definitely a stand-up.
Mm-hmm.
But people who knew me very well,
it probably made more sense.
Yeah.
Because I could turn on business professional
and be, you know...
It's a good skill to have.
Yeah.
Because a lot of comedians don't have that.
Like, especially when you're, like,
the open mics, you're like,
I don't think this person can survive in, like, the regular in like the regular world like they come in and they're just like you
know just everything's a problem yeah they're like they got this fork they're pulling out like
dicks out of a bag and stuff like that and you're like whoa like you guys really going to travel
with that shit and then yeah i can't see you not doing that at work yeah it's interesting i think i came well because my parents you know
they're afghan and there's more value in being you know there's a way you're supposed to act
you're supposed to represent the family um there's an order you know and there's a way of doing
things and presenting yourself and so i'm very familiar with that mode yeah and it's only been
you know the later half of my career where you are kind of embracing the artist more and be like, oh, I can, I don't like that's there.
But you can also let yourself be the other thing.
Yeah.
You're letting yourself be more eccentric, you mean?
Yeah.
Yeah, I suppose so.
But I mean, I'm more time and place, you know know it's not like i want to be bouncing off the
walls and shit i just kind of like know when and where i want to do it like the stage obviously
for sure do you find it helps you if you are a bit more chaotic in your personal life that it
adds to the no i'm just so measured man i like i i'm so logical and uh i just love i love control this may be an asset or a detriment but that's just
kind of my baseline i like that's why weed is tough for me alcohol i could do because it'll
it'll like loosen the leash on my brain but it's still on a leash yeah weed it's like i'm on tangent
city and i'm going through spirals and stuff and And it's just, Oh, it sounds exciting. I don't like it though.
Yeah.
It's too much.
It's too much.
Sure.
Cause I want to grab my brain.
My brain's like,
I'm out.
I'm not here.
I'm like brain come back.
My brain's on the freeway.
Yeah.
I think I'm similar to that in a way.
Like I have like this type a-ness about me,
like to compartmentalize.
And I do kind of like the,
like the,
what we,
what we do and stuff like,
especially we're doing like pranks and stuff.
I sort of like to do that sort of like,
that's a little bit more of the absurd kind of lifestyle stuff.
But then like the weekends,
just relax,
go home,
watch TV,
you know,
like I kind of like to sort of have both worlds.
Yeah.
I think it's great
too and maybe that's why you guys have been able to like excel and especially you too like because
you do have the artist eccentric and you know when you go out and do these pranks it's very much that
but then you also have the studious part where because like all of that and none of the okay
what do i got to do today what do we got gotta chop up and release put captions on yeah you need both yeah you need like the businessman and the artist
yeah because if you're all artists maybe you could do that in the 70s and you could be like on
on coke and shit yeah like strung out but you can't do that nowadays you have to be everything
i've always wondered about that because when people are talking about people in the 70s
they're like they're always on coke always always fucked up. Like, I was watching Julia Louis-Dreyfus
on the David Letterman, like, next guest Netflix thing.
Oh, yeah.
She's talking about SNL writers would come in
with, like, 15-page sketches because they're all fucked up.
And I'm like, how do you do that?
Because for me, too, I get hung over.
I get down on myself for two days.
I'm not creative at all.
I'm like, i don't understand
we're drugs different in the day i don't know it's weird i think what the thing that people
i think misunderstand about is that when i first got into stamp i'm more of like a chaotic person
and like you know can be prone to being like even more eccentric off stage than i am on it but
i think when you first get into stamp like okay well carlin was always fucked up prior was always
fucked up yeah like okay well these guys are geniuses all right so they had enough talent
where people would bet on them and help curb their behavior to get them on the stage right but i think
for every one of those guys there's like a million dudes and ladies who are like dead who try to do
it that way and it just doesn't work it's just like those were the ones who for whatever reason
could make it through that lifestyle and still produce right but it's like i don't think it's a smart gamble because for the most part that shit just
gets in the way and fucks you up yeah and also it's what you're saying it's like it's more
entrepreneurial these days where it's like in those days it was sort of like okay go to this
venue do stand up there you can be fucked up but now it's sort of like you gotta you gotta
post shit you gotta be your own producer and promoter kind of thing.
You're everything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Back in the day, you were able to do that and there was a romance to that.
Everyone was doing it and it was acceptable.
But now there's too many talented sober people.
Yeah.
It's way more saturated.
So if you're like fucked up and like no one has time for that.
It doesn't look good.
It's kind of off putting.
Well,
there's so many,
there's a line of people who are just as talented or more talented who aren't
fucked up.
So they'd be like,
Hey,
you're holding up production.
Yeah.
Whereas in the seventies or eighties,
they'd be like,
that's all they had.
I don't think there was,
you know what I mean?
There wasn't,
it wasn't as huge.
There was like Jay Leno and that was it.
I mean,
yeah,
maybe these are,
I'm like parsing it,
but it feels that way.
Right.
No,
I think that's true
It does seem like all the icons of those eras were like destructive
Personalities like we mentioned kinesin and then like Carlin and private. I guess Seinfeld also is a very
Controlled person. He's more on the other side of the spectrum, but look at his productivity
It's been it's terrible. I want to see like a Seinfeld biopic and as we he's been doing sheds of light yeah yeah he's just hiding it really well that'd be unbelievable
i'd have more respect for him if i saw him like you brought oxy the whole time you're like man
you look great just a picture of him with coke he's just like just a little bit that would be
cool too that he kept it a secret i feel like everyone shares everything so much like i'd
almost have more respect for him to be able to compartmentalize he's like yeah i did coke the whole time i just didn't feel like talking about like a posthumous
book where he tells everything dude yeah that'd be a cool my secret it'd be a cool rumor like
you know seinfeld's a huge coke head right you're like what yeah you wouldn't let that out um
yeah yeah tomorrow tomorrow it comes out.
What, on, on... You like how I point it back to the special?
I'm like, yeah, crazy, guys.
Someone had to say something.
Crazy how the special comes out tomorrow.
You guys nailed it on the head.
Are you nervous?
Do you have, like, expectations and stuff?
No, I'm pretty zen about it.
I just created the thing that I wanted to create,
and I have no control over it.
I like controlling all that I can control.
And now it's not up to me. Like'm I'm closing the loop kind of I'm trying to juice as much as I can out of it so that's why I'm doing you know calling all you know the favors all my
friends do the podcast rounds like doing that and then like Rogan Monday so that and then just see
how it does you know like I'm happy it, and I think it's different,
and I think it's a good representation of what I am,
what I do, and yeah, I'm really happy with the special.
I think it's different, and it's good.
Do you have like a distilled line of what you do,
like an elevator pitch of what it is you do?
What it is I do.
You know, I don't know if it's the exact line,
but I think the big thing is like post-racial.
It's the space I'm trying.
I wanted to get it popular because sometimes people see a name like Fahim Anwar.
I'm speaking about the industry and everything.
It's kind of like, okay, that's a different name, ethnically ambiguous.
What do we do with it?
There's no blueprint really.
But like I just want to be funny for funny i just want to i want to be funny first and like my identity yeah ethnic makeup is
in the back seat right comedian first and a lot of the opportunities in this town it's they don't
see it that way it's kind of like what packaging what box can we put you in, what has sold before.
So what's great about this going on YouTube is it's very democratic.
Let the people decide.
Hopefully, and I give America a lot of credit or the world.
Let them decide instead of here's the packaging
and this is what we've put Fahim Manwar in.
Right, you don't want to lead with it and be like,
my mom, she has these cultural differences with me.
She doesn't understand
what contemporary American culture is like.
Yeah, I didn't want to fit into
what they believe is sellable or whatever.
I just wanted it to be me,
the most authentic me as possible.
And I've been in stand-up 20 years.
And to reward just comedians
working on their craft
and being good at it
and doing it in their own way.
And then you got in the back pocket.
If things ever get dicey, you're like, well, look, I am.
Well, I can do this thing.
If the price is right, I'll do the thing you want me to do.
No, it's funny.
I'm like half Colombian, but I don't talk about that.
I'll talk about, you know, I'll mention it,
but it doesn't feel, I don't feel it in a way
where I would know how to represent what that means
to be that person in the world today. I'm like, I don't feel it in a way where i would know how to represent what that means to be that person
in totally the world today i'm like i don't know i'm like i grew up with all white dudes in orange
county i'm like i kind of right it's sort of let let you be you right i don't want to have to harp
on whatever the sexy sellable like woke thing is to like capitalize on like i don't want to use it
as a trampoline because that's not comedically me yeah and i just let me be me and it feels a little disrespectful to like colombian people
too where i'm like i don't think they would want me to be the poster child yeah exactly
they'd be like this guy's been here once like he's no dick yeah he doesn't he doesn't know
dick about colombia like i fucking don't i mean i know my mom and I know I like to dance, but that's about it. Yeah. It's nice that YouTube seems to have, especially in the past few years with specials and stuff,
seems to have given that opportunity to people just to level the playing field and stuff a little bit.
Yeah.
It's sort of everyone has access.
It's letting the people decide.
Because there's a lot of YouTube specials that are coming out now where there's really funny stand-ups and netflix is kind of a cool kids club and they have
their own tastes and agendas and all that yeah and they're only picking from this very uh small pool
of archetypes of comedians like super famous or like super alti and niche or whatever yeah but there's some crushers and killers
who aren't getting looks from these large what were the traditional outlets for stand-up yeah
and what's great about youtube is it's shedding a light on like all these guys are just straight
up funny and there was some like fuckery going on over here yeah where they're they're just being
like cool kid table yeah like yannis poppins special is like great yeah he just released it on on youtube and like netflix wasn't fucking with him
like schultz he's like one of the biggest guys yeah they weren't fucking with him like i think
schultz is a really interesting case study i think he shifted everyone's thinking in in comedy
especially stand-up because we were so protective of our material, hoping that Hollywood would tap us and say,
it's your turn.
Or, okay, you can do the thing
that you've been doing for 20 years.
We'll let you, instead of realizing,
oh, YouTube is just as big as all these platforms now.
We can let the people decide.
Yeah.
Yeah, and it builds so much.
I have so much added respect for Schultz orz or like shane gillis because they like you know especially with
gillis because he had the opportunity and he didn't apologize in the way the establishment
wanted him to i even kind of agreed with the establishment a little bit on that but he was
like no i'm just gonna do my own thing and now like when i see his work i'm just like fuck man
this guy just like he took his own route and he's making all
this amazing shit and it's all just because he decided he could do it there's no no one said
hey you're the man he was just like no i'm just gonna give you what i got it was kind of best
case scenario like he came out i think way better than had he gotten on the show for sure he really
yeah that's the case too like a lot of people who get specials on bigger platform on like
those streaming platforms and stuff a lot of times they get lost in the shuffle that's part of it too
yeah whereas like the youtube it's like a little bit more in your hands like the especially
promotion wise you know it it it has a life to it where it's like over time it's just like people
can continually discover it you know it's sort of like when it's released on a streaming platform.
It's like you have this window of time where it's featured and you can find it.
But YouTube, it can be in the algorithm.
People can find it much more easily, I think, over time, if that makes sense.
No, totally.
And it can get second and third lives just based on the algorithm.
So you do a podcast and then it's right there in the suggested yeah and the algorithm for youtube
is kind of super precise it seems it's like almost surgical like it knows it's a viewer yeah whereas
netflix you do a special and if they're not pushing it and they're really not pushing a lot
unless you're unless you're chapelle or unless you're seinfeld unless you're a huge name yeah if you're like a cusper they're not really breaking stand-ups like they used to you know
and if it doesn't pop in that first week then you just get buried and people aren't going to
rediscover it like on youtube where it can ebb and flow yeah yeah i don't watch like four-year-old
comedy series or specials on netflix yeah yeah i, I don't even have the bandwidth for it.
I wouldn't even know what to look for.
I just go, yeah, what's new?
Yeah.
And I'm on YouTube way more than I am like Netflix, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's become so easy.
I just fire up the TV.
And I think earlier there was still kind of a disconnect between YouTube and getting it
on your TV.
But now it's just so easy.
Totally.
Yeah.
Yeah. Dude, also uh i made a commitment to
myself i was gonna go on more like mandates with like men i don't know and i reached out to him
and i was like hey man that's what that was no but you were the first one oh yeah i was like for
sure yeah i was like hey man you want to get coffee we crushed that yeah it was fun what did
you get anything or no no i think i just did coffee you got locks right
yeah well that's a good memory man i got logs bro where'd you guys go le pain quotidian i don't even
know how to say it i don't know le pan quotidian yeah the daily bread i like how their coffee is
in a saucer so you feel like a cat like there's no handle on it are you supposed to be like oh
oh no handle on this looks like i'm elegant today so i'm just like
how's that better you got a two-handed yeah i kind of breaks up the conversation a little bit
too i'd ask you a question you're like excuse me for a second that'd be great to have like a
high-powered business meeting and we're on suits and we're like yeah so i mean that sounds good
to me what about your people i picture like some titans of industry that's what they do like
steve jobs was so oblivious to like you know social mores he'd be having a meeting of like
vegan super yeah he's like yeah we need more crystals for the iphone and he's so powerful
no one's gonna say anything yeah everyone's like good yeah he's a genius geniuses do that they look
weird but that was that was a. But that was a good mandate.
It was a good mandate.
Yeah, we got to do it again.
Yeah, I'm down.
You're in a writer's room, right?
Yeah.
I mean, the show's not coming back, but two seasons we were in the writer's room.
It was Zoom for like the first season and then at Warner Brothers for the second season.
Yeah.
Oh, so you were just, you were in an office with the other?
Yeah.
So it was Zoom for a bit.
And then that's when I was in Austin for a few months because I missed stand up and LA
was super shut down.
So I was like, I'll just Zoom by day and do stand up at night.
And then things cleared up in LA.
So then I came back and then the writer's room was physical.
So yeah, that's kind of why I came back too.
Like I had to be back in the office.
How was Austin?
It was cool.
It was great because, you know, things were kind of mayhem here.
And I just, I love standup and I just wanted to do it out there.
And yeah, Zoom kind of made everything so remote that I'm like, why am I just bored here in LA?
Because I would just work by day and then my nights would suck.
Yeah.
And I go, I don't have to do this.
Do you like writing on a show?
It's different.
Like I'm glad for the experience
and I would do it again in the same position.
And I like that I've laid down some track
in the writer's world now.
Like, you know, I know people.
I'm in the guild.
I have that under my belt now.
So maybe it's easier if I try to sell the show.
But like the Mondayay through friday
eight hours kind of feels like comedy boeing to me it felt very it's very weird to kind of
you go your life okay you go to engineering school then you get this job at boeing and
i'm working eight hours there's like a break room and then you do stand-up and it's interesting and
exciting you get an acting thing you do stand-up you fly somewhere and do a gig it's interesting and exciting you get an acting thing you do stand up you fly somewhere
and do a gig it's very you're very nimble and then to get a writing job and then you you go to
a place for eight hours monday to friday it was something like boeing flashbacks a little bit
they're trying to take the pirate out of you uh they're that they're not intending to do that but
that that really you talk to them yeah man fuck but that's a good phrase Yeah, kind of like I'm used to being this wild animal and you know on the move on the move just scenery changing every day
That's the beauty of being a stand-up is that?
Stand-up is your base and all these other crazy cool opportunities just happen
Randomly like I had some corporate gig for North Face and that was awesome. I went to Colorado
Got to hang out there just beautiful
Do stand-up for these people and that that comes out of the blue and then this was kind of more
Scenery's not changing much and you're in the chair for eight hours and lovely people
But I think if I do more writing stuff would be kind of in and out or a little more freelance, right?
Yeah, I think how do you say Colorado Colorado? How do you say it?
Colorado, how do you say it Colorado? I say it like you say it. How do you do it Colorado Rado?
I say Colorado and I say Rado and you say Rado Rado. You say Rado, Colorado. Yeah, that's a rat
Is that North? Whoa, did we just discover?
Like a thing that people have been glossing over. It's like tomato tomato a little bit from Seattle, right?
Yeah, where you make sense?
Right that connection there. Yeah
patois
sometimes people
Will think I'm from New York and I like one time that vibe a little bit really I
Yeah, a little bit of an East Coast energy
That's interesting though because some someone was like are you from New York
and I go no
and they go
Seattle
and I go whoa
what the fuck
yeah
interesting
I wonder about that too
where people are like
I got like an east coast energy
I'm like dude
I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about
they're like
it means they're like
they're like
I talk shit a lot
I was like do you
they want this to be so true
yeah they're like
you were different on the east coast
like bust balls
I'm like well
they kind of pick on people everywhere man he's overselling it love this girl i was from
new jersey i was interested in you know she was like just kept making fun of me i was like why
are you doing this and she's like i'm from new jersey i'm giving you shit i'm like i don't get
it yeah i'm from jersey we're assholes exactly is what we do i'm an asshole yeah yeah and then
sometimes they'll overdo it you know like when guys just want to talk shit and you're do i'm an asshole yeah yeah and then sometimes they'll overdo it you know like when
guys just want to talk shit and you're like i'm gonna get the uh burger and fries but like no
bacon on the burger though oh no bacon guy how pussy you're like that's what she would do i'm
like well i had bacon for breakfast i'm just not doubling up dude yeah i'm not a big ball buster
like i didn't grow up with that culture you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah sometimes it feels like
it's an attempt to like get close to you you know what i mean like that sometimes it feels like it's an attempt to like get close
to you you know what i mean like that's i mean this is what they're doing you're just trying to
like build some rapport but if it comes out too early or if it's not delivered correctly you're
just like what the fuck are you doing dude like have you ever tried kindness yeah i just say what
i feel maybe try that instead of saying the opposite like you. That's why I hang out with you.
I like that much more.
It's much more disarming and charming.
Why are you questioning my sexuality every time we hang out?
We've established that I'm straight, but you insist that I'm gay.
Are we friends or are we not?
I'm very confused.
We're friends, but you keep on dissing me.
I don't get it yeah there's ever the girl actually she she's like this little blonde girl and she would she'd be like hey i'm
from new jersey hey like nice balls and i'd be like why do you talk like nice balls
that just makes me think you're butt naked when she's done i was yeah nice balls you got a little
dick and i'm like are you gonna fuck me'm like, why are you talking like this?
You're going to fuck me with that little thing,
pussy?
You're like,
what?
I'm New Jersey.
I don't like this dirty talk.
This isn't helping.
So that was confusing.
Do you do,
do you do dirty talk?
Are you a dirty talker?
No,
man.
Yeah.
I don't like it.
I was trying to do a bit about where I'm like,
I don't like dirty talk.
Like, I'm just too,
I like love you too much.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like,
yeah.
It's almost like you see a cute white bunny and the bunny's like spit in my
mouth.
Yeah.
Call me a bitch.
You're like,
no bunny.
You're,
you're great.
I just want to hug you more.
It can almost be more embarrassing.
Like I'll feel more vulnerability when I'm like,
Hey,
like for me,
for me to get aroused this time, I might have to be like really nice to you and that feels more like
vulnerable to me than me being like hey i'm gonna call you a whore or something like that
like it feels more risk taking to be like that'd be hilarious i'm gonna tell you you're pretty and
that i like you yeah fuck i don't i don't do dirty talk i do nice talk like yeah yeah i like your body so much
yeah your parents you know raised you right you like that you should because you deserve it
yeah you have very good values i appreciate that just nicey talk and then also it's tough because
like when they want that dirty and all that part of me is like, I want you to want more out of life.
Yeah.
You deserve more.
You don't need this.
Yeah.
I know this is like a.
No, it's true.
It's true, though.
I know what you mean.
You don't have to do this.
I know that you enjoy it, but you deserve more.
You deserve nice things.
You deserve all the kindness in the world. That's something you can say to her during sex.
You deserve all the kindness in the world
i'm gonna fill you up with all you meet that right girl who likes that you know
you hear her moan super loud after you say that you're like whoa okay we're getting some yeah yeah
i don't i don't slap the app i just like i just caress it so soft yeah you got a nice pretty butt
i'm gonna turn the ac on and then do you want to answer some questions yeah sure sweet what's up dudes i'm interrupting this podcast let you know once again that we got a new
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dink all right let's get back to the show.
I think one of the first bits I saw you do live,
which you had me crying laughing,
it was like the wheelchair one.
Oh, the Stephen Hawking one?
Or what do you mean?
It was the Stephen Hawking.
Oh, was it the Jordans one?
This was probably around like 2015, 2016.
Was it the Air Jordans one?
I remember you did one about
the uh the way jersey oh yeah yeah but then there's one where i think you're doing like
stephen hawking oh wait cheating on uh when he's cheating yeah yeah yeah when he walked out on his
wife or whatever yeah yeah his wife but because your act outs are so good where you're like acting out the, like how long it took to like type it out.
Yeah.
What was it?
It was like,
yeah,
I didn't know that he,
he like left his wife and I'm like,
that's pretty baller to be confined to a wheelchair,
unable to talk and still think to yourself,
I can do better.
And I go,
how did that?
I'll go,
go say,
Hey,
can you set up the ramp so I can leave you?
And then I go like,
how did that fight even go down? You know, cause he has to type like, he's like, well, can you set up the ramp so I can leave you? And then I go, like, how did that fight even go down?
You know, because he has to type.
She's like, well, he's going to leave me.
That's what it is.
And she had to wait forever.
And I just do that for like a minute.
And I go for as long as the crowd is laughing.
So if they're like still laughing, I'm still like.
And then the very last button, I and then I go you win some you lose
Yeah, and there's another one but we go the questions but yeah, I mean it's so funny there's one about
there's one about um i think there's another wheelchair why is that my views like yeah i'm the king of the wheelchair material for some reason i honestly do like these bits just come
to me it's unfortunate like i had one of them where i go like what if you if you're like in a
wheelchair you know and you died and you got up to heaven and you were still in a wheelchair like what do you be pissed like mother fuck and god's like what
is it my child are you not happy we have like rivers of milk and honey and everything you could
ever want he's like yeah i don't know i was just thinking up here that i would be able to walk
he's like ah i know what you mean the spine's a tricky thing
he's like but you know it's very wheelchair accessible you mean the spines a tricky thing
Like but you know it's very wheelchair accessible you can take the elevator down
Yeah, all they come with everything you could ever want but like still in a wheelchair you so mad
the act out of like the fuckboy texting which is oh
Yeah, that was like how people just don't pay attention to Ubers like I could just pick someone up That's right. It's like remember at the beginning. But people would even check their cars. They would just get into yeah
Early on people would just hop into any car and think it was their uber
Yeah, and I was saying like I could just go to a bar nightclub around 2 a.m
So I'll get my car and I guess drive to the woods and murder this guy
Like he would just be in his phone the whole time
And then like after 40 minutes, you would just, look up and realize he's in the forest.
And be like, this isn't my house.
Yo, what up, Chad and JT and any esteemed guest of the pod?
Also, shout out to Chad for the Roland Berry.
Yeah, Chad's going to be in Berry this week.
He was the whole sneak peek.
He was the whole sneak peek for the episode.
It's pretty awesome.
I don't really have a story,
but I'm regretting some things I've done in the past.
I just want to know if you guys have regretted anything in the past and how
do you deal with it?
Thanks boys.
It's very specific and broad at the same time.
Is it,
how do you get over regret over things you've did in the past?
I've got to take go know that you have you can't change the past but you can learn from it and the fact that you feel a different way about what you did in the past is growth so that is still useful
you can't change what you did but you your mind has shifted and your perspective has shifted.
So yeah, you can give yourself a break because that is a win in itself.
For sure.
I think too, it's like sometimes I'll think about mistakes I've made and I'll be like,
oh, I don't, I should make myself a smaller person because of those mistakes.
You know what I mean?
Like I should have, my regret should manifest itself as me,
like not trying to be this like big person that I'd like to be.
But I think that's actually the wrong thinking.
I think it should just motivate you to be a better person,
to live a bigger life where you like help other people and you contribute good.
And so if anything, it should be fuel to be a better person
because that's a better way to to learn from it and to in a sense make up for it is by actually
being the best you that you can be and maybe that lets you off the hook too much but i actually do
think that's like because then i just think of like not and i'm not comparing myself to but i
think about like every great person has made like horrendous mistakes.
And what if they just like quit that road because they were like, oh, well, I'm a fuck up.
So I don't deserve to be like a big deal or a great person in whatever capacity you're trying to do that.
Well, that wouldn't have been good.
Yeah.
Like you got to, you want to always be reflective and think about those things and not act like you weren't that person.
But I don't think you're meant to feel bad forever i think you're meant to like you said
learn from it and then and then show you've changed through your actions yeah yeah no i i agree i
think i think it's i i partied really hard in high school and just got involved with some,
you know,
drugs.
Uh,
but,
and I had a lot,
I beat myself up a lot about it later on.
I like,
I was just so like ashamed,
especially on moments when I like got so drunk that I like,
you know,
I was like,
I would party in New York cause I went to a boring school at my brother.
And then I would stay at my brother's house and like,
would like get so drunk and like throw up all over this place or shit his bed for real though and i would just feel so ashamed
of that but then i sort of like now i'm able to look at it as sort of like well i'm glad i went
through those experiences because now i have a more mature view of how i party yeah like my lack
of partying in that respect yeah and you gotta make mistakes
like it'd be weird if you went through life and didn't have
anything you regretted
like you shitting the bed
you needed to do that
to not shit the bed
you'd still be shitting the bed
if you had zero growth
you wouldn't be you today you wouldn't be on Barry this week
had you not dookied your brother's bed
had I not ruined his wife brother's bed and i ruined
his wife's grandma's quilt you gotta learn brother yeah that was that was a tough moment it was
he was like she was inconsolable i was like oh
dude my friend had a funny story we're like and i get it more now it's it's kind of tangential
what we're talking about but i was like man you seem like really into your girlfriend and my friend was like kind of a wild
man he was like yeah yeah she's a good girl i was like i was like how do you know she's i'm like
well not that i didn't believe him but i was like what do you what do you mean he's like and he used
to party super hard he's like dude i got drunk and i fucking pissed the bed and i woke up at three in
the morning and she was changing the sheets and she never mentioned it in the morning and i was
like oh yeah she really accepted you for who you are that's like she knew you're a wild man who sometimes you know your
bladder you lost it and that's okay that's kind of nice and she knows that he feels bad and doesn't
have to like put his face in the shit you know yeah you know it's a keeper it's nice great so
whatever you did dude as long as it's not too it it's not too grisly, keep it moving.
I would say learn and forgive yourself.
Yeah, because even like do you think like Danny Trejo, didn't he like –
I forget, but let's use him as an example, and I'm sorry if I get the details wrong.
But he was in jail for a long time for – it might even have been like armed robbery up to murder.
But like he came out of there and he's like, hey, I'm just going to be like a sick actor in action movies.
What if I didn't even know he does acting?
Like he just came out and started making some tacos.
He started making some sick tacos and donuts.
You know he's an actor.
What?
The taco guy acts?
Trejo?
Trejo?
Taco Trejo.
Huh.
Did he get famous from the tacos and they put him in movies?
No, no, no.
This happened before the tacos.
What?
Huh.
What did he go to jail for?
Yeah, it says Danny Trejo was dealing drugs at the age of 13.
Oh.
That's not as bad as what I gave him, though.
Yeah.
Yeah, you said up to murder.
I said up to murder.
I might have been a little hyperbolic
sorry danny no but it's okay i like when you go i don't i don't know all the facts but he may have
murdered someone but he killed there was a lawyer serves you immediately he went through a school
bus and i can't even make that joke he's listening like bro what the fuck yeah he's making tacos
listening he's like what the fuck he's like i didn't murder nobody dude
there was an armed robbery but oh you're right about that one all right cool so that's okay i
said the murder thing i was half right yeah just lump it in there but yeah like do you think can
you do something so bad that you should just quit and just the best thing you can do for society is isolate yourself probably i mean it's got to be pretty heinous crime like serial killer or something
i don't know if the advice that we gave applies to serial killers like forgive yourself yeah i
would say learn the killing bomb from accounting was a bad thing to do yeah i'd say dude as long
as you didn't kill nobody keep it moving learn from it if you did kill people stop listening
to the pod move to the woods and stay by yourself for as long as you can yeah you should have done
a follow-up email like what's the thing what'd you do i need more information no judgment but
maybe the judgment is coming what'd you do i've gotten worse but i judge people a lot more than
i used but i think i used to be too tolerant of mistakes.
I think in my 20s, you can be like, I killed somebody.
I'd be like, hey, man, we all make mistakes.
And now I'm like, yeah, I'm not spending time with you anymore.
I'm sorry.
We got to go.
We got to.
All right.
What up, Stokers?
My mom passed away a couple years ago.
Don't let that bring the Stoke down.
It's cool.
And my dad started dating again, like, immediately.
He found a woman he really likes, And they've been dating for a while now
He wants me to meet her but I just can't whip up the strength to do it
My brother met her and liked her
But it's still too weird for me
I tried
My dad keeps calling me pussy for not meeting her
Am I being a pussy
Whoa that took a turn
I want him to enjoy his life
But I just don't want to be involved in his relationships
At this stage
Caveat I moved to LA this year Last year so every time I visit home Oh, okay. I want him to enjoy his life, but I just don't want to be involved in his relationships at this stage.
Caveat, I moved to LA this year, last year,
so every time I visit home,
it turns into something we constantly fight about.
Oh, and also, favorite pod,
let's grab a beer at Freed Smash sometime, please.
I mean, dude, I think that's really understandable.
I think your dad mishandled his reaction to a good degree. And I don't think the way to get you on board is by challenging you that way i would say it would be nice to meet her but you got to do that
on your own time and if you're not ready you're not ready and you have nothing to do with your
dad's relationship with that lady he should feel secure enough and that that he can understand
where your apprehension comes from so i would just do you dog
yeah it's tough to say i i because i'm i'm not you know in your position and um
because i think i think you're both you're both i think yeah i i i think you guys do what's comfortable for you at this moment.
So, yeah, I agree with JT.
I think it's tough for your dad to react that way.
It seems harsh, but I think he's probably processing the whole situation.
My dad would say something like that.
Yeah.
He would mean well.
I think he would just feel...
He's trying to move on.
Yeah, and he might feel judged
a little bit or something yeah and so he reacts that way by like not having to deal with his own
kind of fears about the situation yeah so i think yeah fears of judgment yeah what do you think um
i like at the end of the day it's all. So these, whatever's happening in the fight with the dad,
it's all rooted in love.
Yeah.
So I know like in the moment it may seem adversarial and stuff,
but I think he wants your approval because he loves you so much.
Yeah.
So your feelings are your feelings and you got to do whatever you got to do
in your own time.
But I think like if you put yourself in your dad's shoes a little bit,
like if there is a world where you
can do just enough to make him happy it may be hard just enough to not overextend and over leverage
yourself and what you need emotionally to like give him just just enough to be like okay like
he did coffee with her or but not so much where it feels like you're not processing what's going on with
your mom or a disservice to her like obviously you don't have to jump in with two feet and be
like yeah she's great blah blah but if there's a happy medium where like unless people just react
off of what is in front of them rather than what is behind it and if you guys talk about what's
behind it it's more measured and you understand why you know it is crazy like you can do something wrong
and then if you explain why you did that thing wrong more often than not people will meet you
and and give you the benefit of the doubt on it i think i think the mistake people make is they act
wrong and then they're like they don't want to revisit they're like let's just move on but if you can just say why i think more often than not people can hear that yeah and even if they don't
accept your stance they will understand it more and that is closer to like peace than not
you know also
i when my dad and my mom broke up you know i was i, it's kind of better that they broke up.
But my dad started dating a new gal.
And the origins of it were a little dicey.
And then I went out to visit her, and I was really nice to her.
So nice to her.
And then I was nice to all my dad's new friends.
But I was upset.
I was hurt.
And then my dad was kind of an asshole to me on the last day of my visit and was really
being he was right about what he was being a hard ass about but i didn't feel like he was taking into
account all the other things that i had kind of tolerated in him and uh he really kind of
exploded on me and i ended up kicking his ass and then he had a great line too where i like kind of
threw him and he i guess he chipped his tooth and he goes hey you chipped my tooth and i'm gonna go
you're lucky to knock out all your teeth and then he said you can only knock on my teeth because i
pay for your gym membership which was you know this is like an action movie and i was reading
the script i'd be like this isn't real like no one talks this
way change this line i love everything else about it yeah but i paid for your gym membership
is to a to z yeah that's like that's a room full of 12 writers came up with i paid for your gym
membership he's a smart guy but what's the one but the overarching point that i'm making
through my own uh self-involved experience is that also if you rush into situations when you're not
ready there it'll it'll come out that you're not ready at some point it might not come out in the
managed way that you would want but i don't think you're gonna beat up your dad but that's what i did just
know it's on the table just know what it's there but he might have a quick one-liner he might have
a schwarzenegger 80s that's like predator level writing you son of a bitch
no even in the moment i was like it was a funny burn
i was like crying and like stomping everywhere and i was like, this is a funny burn. I was like crying and like stomping everywhere.
And I was like, fuck, that's a good burn, dad.
He sent me a follow-up email too being like, hey, I think you're on steroids.
I was like, yeah, way to make excuses, dude.
Like he can't give you the win?
No.
Like that's the vial.
Yeah.
He's like, I think you're on steroids.
I was like, yeah, maybe you're just not very
strong dude he's a motherfucker um what's up purveyors of pleasure this is a long one sometimes
we get long questions you gotta hang in the pocket i write in i write in for advice on a
sitch with a good lady friend i'd like to remain anonymous as some pals also enjoy your stoke
providing pod for context i'm 23 and i've been grinding work and gym since i left college
this gal and i have
been close for years now but with a playfully flirtatious twist we'd share the occasional
innocent pack here and there and even share my bed from time to time when she would come hang
with me and my roommates the bed sharing was innocent with no touching or cuddling whatsoever
due to the fact that she has a boyfriend who i've met numerous times however a few months back this
gal and i got super hammered at our friend's birthday party at a nightclub.
There was a bit of grinding at the club, and when we returned to my place with the group, we shared a not-so-innocent kiss.
Initiated by me, but reciprocated by her.
We both felt really bad about it after, and she asked me for my true feelings about her, and I said I had some.
She told me it had crossed her mind as well and she slept on the couch that night however the next night she stayed over again this time in my bed with lots of spooning after a few days i told her
i needed to take some space because talking to her always brought up my feelings for her and it was
confusing fast forward to now and i've let it go and resumed viewing her as a friend but she became
jealous upon finding out i'd hooked up with another gal. She confessed she had some feelings for me, but she thought it was mainly sexual tension.
She ended up kissing me, this time was a full-on make-out, until I pulled back and said we
shouldn't keep doing it.
The next day she said she still likes what she has with her boyfriend and is okay with
her complicated feelings for me.
Since that night, she's been on my mind a ton again, and despite being proud of myself
for stopping the mac and cheesing, I can't get over how good it was and how much i'd like to do it some more i've had a few friends
get cheated on recently and even though i barely know her boyfriend i wouldn't want to see a bro
go through that especially if i'm directly half responsible so i don't want to go down that road
the girl and i share a ton of mutual friends including my roommates so cutting her off would
be super rough what do you guys think i should do to get past this ugly
situation love the pod and hope to see strider joe and his fat hog on all together again soon thanks
you know joe maurice you right yeah so you might not know this but according to legend he has a
gigantic cock and it's good for him yeah it's become a frequent point of conversation on the
podcast and sort of maybe our number one topic i like when people hear that they're always just like that makes sense
yeah unassuming giant hog yeah it's a fan favorite that's just someone who has bde who's
just kind of like unassuming it's like because of this juxtaposition like he shouldn't be this
modest and he should have sunglasses on the whole time if his dick is that big.
He should have sunglasses on.
He should.
What do we think about this feller?
It's a tough sitch, man.
I feel like a lot of pressure and mental energy that he's having to go through is kind of the girl's deal that is being put upon him.
of the girl's deal that is being put upon him.
Yeah, I think you should back away from her because, you know, she's still with someone and you don't know if that's sort of a she wants what she can't have kind of thing, situation.
I feel like if you stay involved with this, people are going to get hurt and possibly him you know you know the boyfriend's gonna get hurt he's
gonna get hurt i'm sure everyone's gonna be i don't think there's a way out of this situation
i don't i don't think besides you just backing away entirely there's a good way to go forward
in this situation yeah and how do you not become in the boyfriend situation?
Like,
yeah.
How do you know she's going to stick with you the whole time?
You could be a stepping stone to the next thing.
And now you're,
you're the other guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look at behavior and patterns.
Yeah.
You can't think you're going to be the one to break that pattern.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's tough to trust what she's feeling in that moment.
And also like what you're feeling because of the,
the complicated situation
like it might be super hot because it's like something that can't
like exist you know what i mean or shouldn't exist or whatever i think it's she could say
like oh i have all these complicated feelings for you but that just might be because she's not
getting everything she needs in this relationship so it feels good for her to feel whatever part she's missing with you.
But that doesn't mean, like, wholly together you guys would make sense.
It's just you can't trust your brain when you're in that scenario.
There's too many other factors.
So, yeah, I agree with you guys.
Just step off, see what she does.
Well, not even see what she does.
Like, there's just no, I think, you just got to eject her.
There's no winning. Yeah. just gotta eject her it there's no
winning yeah like staying in it is so you don't feel like couples that are born out of that kind
of situation can i think it's rare like when you are like rocking the boat or like blowing up
a relationship or marriage or whatever it is how do you i'm just so analytical that i'm like once it's good with me if
she leaves this guy or whatever how do we know she's not chasing that feeling yeah so once things
are stable with me why wouldn't she chase whatever i'm the exciting thing now but i'm gonna be the
stable thing and some other guy will be the exciting thing yeah like it's all about patterns and people show you what they do it's true
what's up dogs one of my good friends was recently dumped by a girl that he had been with for five
plus years she moved her stuff out of the house but then a few weeks later she sent him an email
with an itemized list of things that they bought together and she wants him to pay her for her
she wants him to pay her for half of the value some things were as small as ten
dollars this doesn't seem really fair to me and i felt like she was taking advantage of my buddy
who was extremely non-confrontational feels like a selfish move on her part but i don't know if i'm
just being protective of my dog interesting to think to see what you guys think is fair in this
scenario cheers atticus also she was living at his house rent free for a year yeah dude that sounds ridiculous
let's say fuck that i think you're right i think it's such a nominal amount of money
that you're almost paying them to not deal with the bullshit like she she wants she wants this
resistance and fight back like no that's not fair and And if you're truly done, laugh about it.
Be like, Venmo the money.
Like, here's 50 bucks.
That's the power move.
Like, are you really going to miss 50 bucks?
Or are you going to be like, well, you're paying rent.
And it's like, be the bigger man.
What if it's like two grand or like five grand that's different then but if it
if this is over principle do the power move just venmo venmo more say like here's some extra
i overshot it just in case there are some things that we bought together that i didn't
tally up yeah yeah here's an extra hundo to leave me alone or not even to leave me alone just like
kill him with kindness just be like hope that covers it or hope you're well yeah because she
might be chasing something more than just the it's not about the yeah she's just trying to
be a pain in the ass to stay involved with him and to create some stress in his life
yeah so just like roll with that that's i mean this is just selfishly i i
would for the entertainment value i would love to see you pay half with the venmo and the kill
mckinney's and see what the response is if he writes back in like what happens after that that
would be interesting is she like thanks or is it something else boom clap stokers i hope you and
your guests can offer some much needed guidance in my my late 20s, and I have a great thing going, I live in Nashville with a great community of friends.
My family is just a few hours away, and I've got a great job.
I'm a very lucky guy.
One problem is my girlfriend of a year, my longest relationship to this point, who I love very much, has decided to move to Denver for her job and doesn't know if she'll be able to work remote again in the future.
We've talked about this and came to the conclusion that I'll stay in Nashville and she'll move to Denver.
We'll try to make long distance work
for however long we need to.
At this point, our lives are pretty intertwined.
For more context, she's moved around a lot
and I've essentially lived in two places my whole life.
She plans on living in a lot of different places
and I'm more of a community driven guy.
Am I making the right choice to committing to long distance
or am I committed to more of a drawn-out heartbreak?
It feels like if I commit to moving, I'm missing out on what I want out of life,
and if she sticks with me, she's missing out on potential great experiences she wants to explore.
I've already committed to long distance to see how we handle it,
but I want to hear your all's unbiased take on the matter.
Let me know what you all think.
Dude, I would just i think your concerns are
well-founded but i would just see how it goes man like you've had those thoughts you know what's at
stake and you know what the potential uh like pitfalls are but i would just see how it goes
maybe it works great maybe you love it you don't know
what do you think i think there needs to be discussion kind of uh you can do the long
distance and that is possible but it sounds like you want to stay in one area and she wants to
bounce around do you guys have a conversation about like how long do you want to do that for
because one of you is going to have to bridge that for because one of you is gonna have to
bridge the gap or one of you is gonna have to want to kind of meet in the middle like are you gonna
eventually be cool with bouncing around how many cities is she cool with settling down maybe in
two years or three years because the long distance is great in the interim but you've got to look
beyond that and and and see if you are
compatible with what you want out of life is she a jet setter and you're you want to you're a
homesteader you just want to stay in one place because then as much as you love each other it's
going to be hard to make that work yeah so can you bridge it yeah i like that because i think if if
he just stays in nashville and she's like, okay, now I'm going to Miami.
Now I'm going to, which that would actually be sick.
Now I'm going to, you know, Madison and just moving all around.
That would be weird.
Yeah.
Over the course of like three or four years or more than that, like 10 years.
Maybe there's a happy medium where like you're cool with doing that for a few cities in the course of four years but you both
have the understanding that like eventually you want to settle down here right so it's kind of
like getting on the same page for long term yeah i like that yeah and it's always not for all couples
but i always wonder is it a bumpy road for everybody and like some people just don't talk
about the bumps you know what i mean or they're they're more able to put them in context like i feel the bumps you know
yeah and i talk about them but i do feel like every couple you just kind of figure out your own
like social contract with each other and if if you can both agree to that it can work
every relationship will have bumps i think it's just a matter of can you are they
bumps or craters because like what i'm learning is is uh sometimes there are inherent compatibility
issues and like you can love the person but if you have completely opposing views on what you
want out of life like it's gonna be more than bumps like you're gonna have bumps but these are
these are bigger than a traditional bump throughout the course of like people who are pretty aligned
with what they want out of life so trying to figure out like okay are these just natural
bumps throughout a relationship or are these diametrically opposed viewpoints yeah let's see
what the load bearing on this plane is yeah man bring it back to the engineering dude he's just a
couple little bumps or is this whole thing gonna fall apart under stress yeah exactly or is this the eye of the hurricane but
i just think some people are able like there can be like something that would be a crater for me
i've seen other people like just go like just hop skip and jump without a second thought and they're
and they were right to do that like it was it was the yeah i'm not judging it at all it was just
like they were like no i'm choosing not to see it as a crater.
It's just a bum.
And I'm just going to roll with it.
Yeah, it's tailored to you.
Like what may be a crater for somebody else,
you kind of got to,
it's like a designer drug, you know.
Yeah, what can I handle?
All right, last one.
What up, boys?
Question for you.
One of my best friends recently got broken up with
by his girlfriend.
They've been dating since high school
all throughout college and a couple years after that everything seemed
to be going great and he was actually going to propose to her this spring out of nowhere in
early spring she broke up with him saying that she grew out of the relationship he was in denial
about it more or less and claimed that they would work through it they spent like a month after
talking and it seemed like they were going to get back together but she finally cut it off he won't
talk about it to me or anyone in our friend group.
He seems fine with it.
Recently got a nice place in Philly
and has been going out every weekend chasing.
My question is, how do I get him to talk about it?
Because every time me or one of our friends bring it up,
he says, this isn't the time or place,
or don't worry about it.
I'd say if he doesn't want to talk about it, don't talk about it.
Yeah.
If he wants to talk about it, I think be open to that.
But, you know, just let him process it.
Especially if he seems like he's doing fine.
Like he's got a nice place, he's going out.
Those are healthy ways to deal with it.
Like if he was like shrinking and in his apartment all the time
and like living in squalor, I'd be like, hey man,
maybe we need to process this so you can figure it out.
But it sounds like he's, you he's just taking command of the situation and like,
no, I got this.
And it might not be fun for him to talk about.
He might not want to be like, yeah, it broke my heart.
I was ready to give up.
He might not want to open that up.
And you're just his homie.
I would just be stoked that he's rolling with it.
I think this concerned homie has such an open heart
that he wants to let him know that that's there.
So if you could do it in a very bro chill way,
be like, yo, I know this will be tough.
You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to.
But I like talking about that stuff or I'm here.
And then you've done your part.
And then the rest is up to him.
Totally.
Yeah, just be a good,
go dancing with him.
Go help him chase and, you know.
Let him know you're there.
Help him redecorate the apartment
and he might just be fired up
on the pro sides of this thing.
But yeah, don't drag him into like,
were you crushed?
Because then it's more about him.
He's like strife.
I would be crushed.
Yeah.
I would be devastated for you.
You're just going to hang out.
You're struggling right now, aren't you?
What?
You don't want to talk about it, but you're sad.
You can cry.
I'm here.
Like, I won't judge you if you cry.
I'd be a shell of a man.
But, like, is this helping?
Yeah, he starts going through all the details.
He plans your whole life together, right?
You guys are going to buy that house in Minnetonka.
You're going to have kids.
You had the whole thing figured out, you know, down to like the designs of the kitchen.
And now she's gone.
She's gone, man.
She's never coming back.
How's that make you feel, bro?
Then you just pull out one tissue after you say that.
How's that make you feel?
By the way, I'm on speakerphone.
I got seven of the guys on the phone
right here hey what's up dude are you going through all that man use your basketball in
the background just watching the finals yeah i would i would ask him about it no i'm kidding
uh all right so we do one last thing we this takes a bit but we do our beefs babes and legends
of the week do you think you can improvise that sure how's it work so it's beefs babes and legends beef is something you're like
not happy about from this preceding week it can be a person place or thing babe and legend they're
interchangeable it's just something cool that you're stoked on person place your thing and
then we do a quote of the week and we i hate to do so we also do a phrase that we're getting after it all right i can try i like
that you rolled with the phrase that we're getting after it you're just like yeah sure whatever the
more gibberish um but we'll show you yeah yeah show me the ropes first yeah
chad what's your beef of the week my beef of the week is a plaque build-up that's the dentist this
morning i don't know how we haven't moved past these scrape tools you know you go to the dentist
and then for an hour they're just scraping your teeth like man a lot of plaque on there
like what the fuck is plaque i don't know and why do you have to just scrape my teeth it's so brutal
i don't know dude that's just my
beef i'm like you know they're just scraping away and they're like you got a lot of plaque there and
i'm like i know and then they try to talk to you there's like oh oh oh i never know where to look
because like you know they're in your mouth yeah mouth. I try not to look them in the eye because then they'll take your soul.
It's just too weird.
So I'm just kind of avoiding their head when they're hovering at.
I just try to look at the light.
The hygienist today was actually great because she didn't say a word
until at the end she's like, all right, almost done.
And I'm like, awesome.
So props to her.
I don't mind talking but yeah when
they're like it got like a little poke thing in your mouth i'm like i don't have anything to i
can't talk yeah it's like an uber ride but they're in your mouth yeah what do you do for work
and then you go stand-up comedian they're like oh tell me about it and you're like oh oh, tell me about it. And you're like, oh, fuck. Tell me a joke. Oh, fuck.
That's my beef.
Fuck Plank, dude.
My beef of the week is, I got to go into my tough guy voice.
I got a beef of the week this week.
I went and saw Top Gun last night.
Tremendous film.
Very exciting.
Great theater-going experience.
Everybody's clapping their fucking heads off.
It's very rewarding.
Chad, I was very sad you could not make it, my friend.
We will see it again when you are back from Vegas.
But he missed it because he got his booster the day before we went.
So he was all knocked around.
You know how it goes.
But I dressed up.
I wore a costume.
A shit flight suit? I was in a fucking flight suit.
That's awesome.
And my brother was wearing one.
And my buddy Strider was wearing one.
And I bought extra flight suits for the other guys who would come to see the movie.
And I get there, and I had my apprehensions.
I knew these guys were going to do this.
And I love these guys.
They're great fucking guys.
But Reggie and Alex, I say, hey, I got your flight suits.
And they both just go, yeah, I'm not wearing that.
They had the opportunity.
They didn't wear them?
I got them flight suits.
And then they did this.
And this is where I really take umbrage.
Because I think they were totally misrepresenting my desire to get us all in flight suits.
I go, hey, come on.
Come on.
Put on the flight suit.
And then my buddy Reggie looks at me.
And he's a strong man.
So I know where he's coming from.
But he goes, hey, you're not going to bully me into wearing the flight suit.
And I go, how the fuck is this bullying?
I'm acting like dorks together at the Universal City Walk. into wearing the flight suit. And I go, how the fuck is this bullying?
I'm acting like dorks together at the Universal City Walk.
That's bullying.
I'm not putting your fucking head in a toilet, dude.
I'm asking you to fucking dress up like Maverick for the movie Top Gun, all right?
It just would have been nice to get you to dress up,
but it was still fun.
We still had a good time.
And you don't have to dress up.
It's fine.
But I was mad.
And now I'm working my way through it.
That was tough for me to hear.
Yeah, that's not bullying.
That's just a gift on a platter.
I was like,
flight suit?
And here's the thing.
My other buddy Joe was there,
Joe P.
Now Joe met him with the big dick.
As far as I know,
Joe P's got a big dick too.
But Joe P,
soldier.
Absolute,
which is fitting for Top Gun.
I had three different flight suits.
He puts them on.
They all look terrible. It didn't
work. We're getting
close to showtime, I say. Hey, man,
you put in the effort. You don't have to wear the fucking
flight suit. He goes, yeah, I tried. What the fuck?
But he tried. All right?
He tried to be there for us, and he
was, but, you know, flight
suit didn't work. He kind of looked more like
a mechanic.
It was like a cut-off sleeve thing. It said Dickies on it a mechanic. It was like a cut off sleeve thing.
It said Dickies on it.
The whole aesthetic was fucked,
but God bless him.
He fucking put in that effort.
Fahim,
what's your beef of the week?
All right.
So I only get chicken nuggets at McDonald's.
That's kind of my go-to.
Delicious.
For some reason,
I don't really do beef at McDonald's,
but I always get the 10 piece chicken nugget.
You can trust the chicken more. I can, maybe not even, I'm sure those are all beaks and eyeballs and-to delicious for some reason i don't really do beef at mcdonald's but i always get the 10 piece chicken nugget you can trust the chicken more i can maybe not even i'm sure
those are all beaks and eyeballs and stuff but for some reason they're just mashed together
really yeah there's beaks in there probably you ever get like a weird you bite into a nugget
yeah and it's kind of tendon-y it's a little beaky it's sort of like the money ball in the
three-point contest we're all we're also conditioned just to like spit it out and on to the next one.
Yeah.
So I do the nuggets.
And barbecue sauce is part of it.
So many times I've gotten the chicken nuggets from Uber Eats.
And it comes.
The Uber Eats guy comes.
And I open it.
And there's no barbecue sauce.
And then they only refund me for like the barbecue sauce.
They give me 35 cents.
Like you've ruined the whole meal. Yeah. I'm not going to eat dry nuggets. No like the barbecue sauce. They give me 35 cents. Like you've ruined the whole meal.
Yeah.
I'm not going to eat dry nuggets.
No sauce?
No sauce.
And I specified sauce.
That's insane.
So you should refund me the entire meal because nuggets with barbecue sauce is the experience.
Yes.
And I'm not going to put ketchup on it.
I'm not five.
The nuggets are a vehicle for the sauce.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Like Tyson chicken nuggets that your mom pulls out of the oven, I'll do ketchup because I wasn't expecting nuggets and mom did it.
You know?
Yeah.
But when it's premeditated nuggets, I'm mentally geared up for barbecue sauce.
That's a good beef.
It's a tremendous beef.
So full refund.
Especially that it's about chicken.
I like that.
Totally.
Dude, yeah.
Like don't give me 35 cents.
Give me the entirety of
the meal do you like the buffalo i will i do it at uh chick-fil-a buffalo sauce and i mix it
with barbecue oh you cut it i cut it nice to get a little best of both worlds that's just
experience paying off right there you know i never used to do that but some guy at Chick-fil-a who he recognized me from my first acting thing ever like my first acting
thing ever was this role on Chuck on NBC mm-hmm and like no one very rarely do I
ever get recognized from that but like he's like yo would you minutiae Chuck
yeah yeah oh cool he saw me he goes you ever do this you ever do barbecue sauce Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, oh, cool.
And then he saw me.
He goes, you ever do this?
You ever do barbecue sauce and buffalo sauce?
And I go, no.
He's like, oh, you got to try it.
It's great.
And I tried it, and I've been doing it ever since.
That's awesome.
What a gift.
Yeah, what a gift.
He wanted to offer you something.
He's like, hey, I'm a fan.
Yeah.
And because of that.
Yeah, here's a secret.
I'll give you a secret.
Here's a Chick-fil-A secret we don't tell everybody. He's like, don't tell everybody. Don't tell so that yeah, here's a secret. Here's a chick-fil-a secret
We don't tell everybody he's like don't tell everybody only because you're Manoush from Chuck
Yeah, we were in DC this guy was like hey I became a fan years after seeing you on Hawaii 5-0
I'm like haven't heard that before that was it weird. Yeah, it's weird to think cuz did you watch Chuck before you're on it?
No, yeah, but I know it's like a cult favorite. There's a lot of rabid fans of that show.
Makes sense.
It was weird.
I was still working at Boeing at the time when I got it.
Like I slipped out for a long lunch to audition for it.
And they didn't know that I was just driving up to Hollywood to audition.
And then I got it.
And then I took a week off work.
I said there was a family emergency in Seattle.
Oh, you didn't say that at all?
No, because I was still an engineer at Boeing.
So I filmed the shit for a week in Burbank. and then i come back to work after i'm done and did anyone at work be like
hey man i saw you on chat no because the episode aired after i had left so there was no crossover
it was kind of perfect that's nice chad who's your babe of the week uh my babe of the week is
i guess it's my weekend i got a cool weekend planned uh yeah a lady friend and i were driving
to vegas which opted for the road trip you know driving in the desert always fun always cool
gonna get some uh in and out and uh and then we you know plays dan and zach are coming and we're
gonna uh just you know hit resorts world and you know hit the club and then
do a day vegas day pool party which i've been wanting to do for like three or four years
i haven't done it yet so i'm gonna you know very excited for that and then uh yeah i think it's
gonna be fun weekend that's my babe that sounds pretty good dude my babe of the week is uh the gym at the sheridan in pentagon city oh right yeah so we're
in dc doing some shows and i go down to the gym to hit a pre-show lift get my endorphins up so i'm
feeling state of the art when i'm on stage i'm in there and there's a big burly dude who's on the
treadmill and uh gets off the treadmill he goes to the movie he's, man, I'm not lifting as many weights as I used to.
I mean, yeah, all good, man.
And he goes, yeah, because check this out.
He's got a big scar on his neck.
And he goes, I sell sprinkler systems for hotels and big, big buildings.
I'm at a conference and they were doing construction on the second floor.
And some guy hit a piston incorrectly and it shot down, cut through the ceiling of the second floor, went straight into my neck.
And I was like, whoa.
And then he was like, he's like, I almost died.
They were going to sew me up, but they didn't realize I'd cut my arteries.
So my wife, she had some kind of instinct, maybe from God.
She said, don't you fucking sew them up.
And they found out she was right.
Had they sewed me up, I would have died.
And he's like, so now I don't lift as much because I got like cords in there that'll get fucked up.
He's like, I'm in town.
My son's graduating from Georgetown.
He's going to do his graduate year next year playing football at TCU.
I was like, this is amazing.
I'm like, you're an amazing guy.
Shake his hand.
I'm like, good to meet you.
Me and that guy were grooving so hard together.
The other guy who was at the gym, this good-looking Indian guy, I forget his name.
He's like, yeah, I'm just getting back into working out.
I'm like, nice.
He's like, I'm meeting a woman.
I'm trying to get married now. I'm in my 30s. He's like, I'm meeting a woman tonight. First time I'm meeting someone back into working I'm like nice he's like I'm meeting a woman I'm trying to get married now I'm in my 30s he's like I'm meeting a woman tonight first time I'm meeting
someone that my parents arranged for me and he's like I'm spending the rest of the year every month
just meeting a girl who could potentially be my bride I was like dude that's exciting but then he
was nervous because he's like I've been fucking a lot of badass bitches that's what he said to me
and he was like I'm worried these girls they won't know know, they won't be up to my level of expertise.
And I was just, I was feeling so good from all these conversations.
I was like, hey, man, you guys can work on that together.
And maybe you'll get to a place that's even better.
And I was like, and you know, it's kind of nice.
You get to kind of mentor them through the process.
Assuming that they're not as sexually adventurous as they might be.
And then he was like, yeah.
And I was like, come back to the gym tomorrow.
We'll talk about it.
But he didn't come the next day.
Because maybe it went well.
Maybe he's still shacked up with this gal.
But just an incredible gym experience.
I had like two wonderful conversations.
And I was like, dude, this is the best.
And that jacked me up even more for the show than the weightlifting did.
So I was fired up on that gym.
They got good people over there.
Nice.
What an inspiring story to meet that guy, just to be so close to death.
And then that just happenstance, interjecting new lease on life the son doing so well oh crushing we take
life for granted and just that really puts it in your face like he's got six kids wow and he told
me they're all good kids bro that's what he said he said they're all good kids did you wipe tears
with your gym towel at that moment and i said I'll tell you why they're good kids,
because you're a good fucking guy, man.
If you need a spot anytime, here's my number.
I'll fly out.
I will lift the weight you can't.
I was like, I'll be at TCU next year
to watch your son run out of the building,
into that stadium.
Man, I hope he got a big payout from that fuck up.
He said, he didn't say that,
but he did say that right before he got hit.
This is true.
He said right before he got hit by whatever that thing was,
that he was trying to get everybody excited for dinner.
He went, all right, one, two, three, seafood.
And right when he clapped on seafood, the thing cut into his neck.
Wow.
Fim, who's your baby of the week?
Baby of the week.
So that's just like a cool thing?
Or a super hot chick.
Interesting. the week maybe the week so that's just like a cool thing or a super hot chick interesting
a cool thing or a super hot chip or a super hot dude or a super hot dude
uh we've been doing these you know what all right johnny depp
nice dude yeah you've been watching a little bitits and pieces here and there that make it on Reddit or Twitter. He's getting some redemption.
He's a babe. He's a heartthrob.
And it's weird being alive long enough to see quintessential smoke shows.
Time takes its course.
And part of you wants to take a Gen Zer and be like,
you don't understand how hot fucking Johnny Depp was in his prime or like Val Kilmer or so.
Yeah.
It's cool to see him get some polish and some redemption.
Totally.
He's very good on the stand.
Like his tone and delivery,
just that like real low key energy that he has.
He's a little mischievous,
but in like,
it feels like in a loving way yeah
like he's measured he's not a live wire uh yeah would you put this as his greatest performance
or would you go like edward scissors hands or something yeah this is up there i don't know i
mean people would say pirates is kind of that was probably his his yeah biggest good acting and a
huge hit he's great in everything.
It's always frustrating when someone is that beautiful and talented.
It's crazy.
You watch him act and you're like, this guy's a genius actor.
And he's gorgeous.
He's acting like an ugly person.
He must feel like an ugly person on some level.
I think everyone does.
Unless you're a sociopath.
Totally.
I've met more unattractive people who think they're hot like have you ever met a guy who just has like no insecurities about his looks
but you're like wow it's kind of amazing yeah i don't know where that comes from but it's a
bottle it part of me was like yeah give me some of that sell me that or sometimes you know we're
in the world of comedy there's some people who are kind of very whatever But they walk around like they're Chappelle or something. Oh, yeah, I want whatever you've whatever you whatever you're selling
Like bottle that up. Do you see my set crushed it?
We were talking about that last week
Yeah, people who you know just bomb every time and then they're like man
I have just been on a streak of murdering and you're like dude. I've literally never seen you
Here's the thing I go up there i do what i do best i crush and i'm just waiting for my opportunity
but the industry doesn't get me i'm like no no no one gets you done
yeah well even like crushers don't brag about crushing like bird never comes off like
fucking crushed it i annihilated that room.
Bird did what bird does.
Up top.
Just jizzed all over the audience.
Chad, who's your legend of the week?
My legend of the week is Reddit user EatButtholeDaily.
This guy's a legend.
This guy is such a legend.
He's posting on our Reddit.
I was reading it because we do a draft and I like to see how people feel.
We did an animal draft,
top four animals.
I like to see how people respond.
Um,
and,
he gives a really thoughtful answer.
He's like his analysis.
He's like,
he's basically like,
he even put me as the last.
He's like,
Chad shows aesthetic animals.
You know, you should, if you're picking a reptile, Komodo dragon or crocodile is stronger,
smarter, and more adaptable than a cobra.
Rhino don't have ivory, horrible eyesight, and on the brink of extinction.
Chris had an overall solid list.
Apex mammal, man's best friend.
Great bird pick, but look up the secretary bird.
They hunt by kicking their prey to death.
And then Strider should have picked Jaguar number one,
made a good case for Wolverine.
All this stuff.
Just very knowledgeable about animals.
But his username is eatbuttholdaily.
And I love that mixture.
And I think that I like that in a person of someone who's really smart,
but also is very childish.
And it's like, I also eat butthole daily.
I know a guy like that.
What's that?
I know a guy like that.
He's like, I've been reading Nietzsche, but I also eat butthole daily.
I think that's, it just tickles me.
It's the best of both worlds.
You're enjoying everything.
Yeah. Chappelle's kind of like that.
Yes.
When he speaks sometimes
you're like, I'll listen to anything he says
but then he talks about R. Kelly's
doo-doo butter.
I'm going to piss on you and then I'm going to shit on you too.
He's the smartest guy we have.
It's like
you're painting with all the colors then.
Nothing is too smart and nothing is too
stupid yeah you get to encompass everything yeah it's nice so eat butthole daily if you're listening
i think you're a genius dude my legend of the week it's a twofer again i was uh i've been seeing
this gal i called her hold me close because i talked about on the podcast me and her were
walking back from a trivia night and
we were both talking we're being kind of fatalistic about relationships you know we were like these
things don't generally work out it's kind of a crapshoot what are you gonna do and then we're
walking and a cat is running across the street and there's a car coming and it's not slowing down
and we both see it happening I'm just like oh shit oh no no no no no no no no and then bam
car hits the cat doing like 25 miles an hour. The cat gets stuck under the fender and just gets ridden across
the road for, I don't know, 30 feet. And she turns down, she's like, oh my God. And I'm like, I grab
her. I'm like, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Car runs it over completely. The cat gets up,
starts moving. It's got a limp after about 10 yards of moving shakes off the
limp and runs away full speed totally healthy it survived and it was like this
nice counter to what we were talking about where it's like look you can take
a hit and keep going and even when it looks like you're fucking done and
you're just grizzled on the road you can get up like nothing happened and just
keep living your life and so I was freaking I was like I was like, it lived, it lived, it lived.
And then my other legend of the week is the guy driving because he didn't take his foot off the accelerator at all.
And he must have seen that cat.
I mean, he had his lights on.
It was clear as day there was a cat in front of him.
And he just said, fuck it.
Sometimes it's not your day.
And he broadsided that cat and i like that guy
is just you know he understands there's consequences to life sometimes he dragged it right
yeah he just kept running over it and then he ran it over completely you know most of the time when
someone hits a fucking animal there's like a slowdown afterwards to be like hey what just
happened this guy just kept driving he didn't give it a second thought and uh there was a part of me that admired that
you had to get somewhere who's your legend of the week legend of the week now what is legend again
just a badass fucking person that inspires you or just something that you're stoked on all right
this is kind of very apropos putting a bow on it my special my baby that comes out tomorrow
i'm very excited i spent a lot of work like when i
was in that writer's room at night i was filming this and you know i'm directing it and it's my
heart and soul blood and tears my dna my my fingerprint and i'm so close to it it's hard
for me to see it objectively so like when i watch i don't i don't laugh anymore because i know the
jokes i'm so close to it so i'm excited for all these fresh eyes to see it.
And it's kind of vulnerable.
You're putting yourself out there.
Yeah, very vulnerable.
And seeing how the world accepts it and just knowing you did all that you could.
And, yeah, the little birdie is taking flight tomorrow.
So I'm stoked for that.
Well, I can't wait to watch it.
Thanks, man.
So where can – it's on YouTube.
Where can they find it my youtube channel so youtube.com slash fahim anor it'll be
up there it's called hat trick hat trick and the hat trick is the term used when you do all three
rooms at the comedy store so that's what this is just stand up in all three rooms if you're a fan
of stand up the comedy store uh this is a nice kind of window on what
it's like to be a store comic bopping around cool yeah yeah uh i mean you're one of my favorite guys
to watch too so yeah like we can guys check it out for sure that's nice thanks man i really
appreciate it no yeah i uh and yeah this will well this this will air wednesday so it's live it's out now up there
so watch it yeah no i i like distinctly remembered like you and sebastian were two of the comics that
i like oh that's cool when i first started going to the store it was like you and sebastian were
the guys that like didn't know before and discovered and it was like you guys were like
my favorite to watch um because
like like you had those act outs and stuff they were just so like yeah he's another act out guy
too like yeah and it's just very distinct acts and and just unique um let's drop the escape stuff
but yeah i uh yeah it's very like it's just so fun to watch so thanks man i'm excited
to see and i hope that you know youtube is just so ubiquitous everyone has it that this will reach
as many people like i wanted to do this instead of trying to sell it to comedy central or like
showtime or hbo because sure you can make some money but you really there's a ceiling to that
everyone has youtube yeah um and this is just purely exposure it'd be great for people to see But you really, there's a ceiling to that. Everyone has YouTube.
And this is just purely exposure.
It'd be great for people to see what you see.
Yeah.
I remember when Bill Burr said you were his favorite young comic to watch.
Because sometimes you don't think these guys see you.
I know you mentioned like you go to the store and you've had an interaction with certain people and you wouldn't know if they remember you.
Yeah. But then sometimes they'll mention you or something and you're like oh they were paying attention or
i didn't even know that i was on bill's radar but then someone hit me up and i guess when someone
was interviewing him they're like oh what young guys do you like these days and and he knew my
name i guess he saw me in the belly room one night really yeah and it's it's cool like sometimes i'll
get a text like because i'll post clips on instagram of stand-up bits that like why do tens get cheated on bit he texted me he's like that's a fucking 10 out of 10 fire
bit dude really and that just meant the world to me man yeah because like little hollywood stuff
is cool and we get those here and there but you know the respect from your peers and you know i
love bilber he's like one of my mountain rush mores he's so great he seems
to be so have so much respect for comics too especially like younger comics i remember when i
was a open micer or like you know first starting to be an open mic or whatever it was i was like
a year or two in and bilber was in like that the improv in like that little room in between the lab
and the main room and i think he was waiting to go on.
And I was with a group of like three people.
And he could tell we were comics.
So he's very like respectful.
He just gave like this nod of like, you guys are comics.
I respect you.
And I remember I told my brother, I'm like, Bill Burch is like, give me a nod.
He like respected me as a comic.
You know what I mean? Yeah.
He didn't even see me go up.
But just like he has that.
Yes. Just the acknowledgement it's sort of uh just confirming you're on the right path yeah that validation that's nice yeah and and he knows i respect the bill burr
vouch then some hollywood bottle water general meeting someone be like you're great totally
like it's their job to say you're great yeah like comics and and like at that
level don't have to reach down and say yeah i like what you're doing yeah if he says it he means it
for sure yeah that's the other thing about him he's so no bullshit yeah if he says something
you're like you know he's only motivated by actually what he feels and thinks so it's like
you can trust it 100 whereas at some of those meetings they're like you're hilarious and then
you're like oh what did you like and they're like well i haven't seen it yeah okay nice like i was told to meet
with this list of people just so i don't get fired when you guys pop yeah exactly um chad what's your
quote of the week my quote of the week is um jack sparrow i'm gonna do jack sparrow okay um
i'm dishonest and a dishonest, you can always trust to be dishonest.
I think that's it.
That almost ties back to the girl who's cheating or, you know, doing that weird grinding stuff.
Good call.
Throw it back to Jack Sparrow.
Yeah, a little scorpion and the frog type situation.
Mine's from, I read this, I'm quitting.
I'm no longer reading this book.
You ever just like quit on a book?
That's like walking out of a comedy show.
You did that on a book.
I'm like 200 pages in and I'm like,
every time I try to read, I'm like, fuck, I'm dying here.
So I just tossed it.
But I like this guy's other book.
So I'm going to read a quote from that.
In normal life, simplicity is synonymous with easy to do.
But when a chef uses the word it means takes
a lifetime to learn oh that's cool which ties back to my favorite like bj penn quote where he says uh
he's a good jujitsu guy he says i try to do white belt moves with black belt skill i feel like that
is sometimes we think it's fancy stuff but it's really just doing the simple stuff well and
executing it very well yeah
yeah do you have a quote of the week man i don't is there one you turn to for solace or for
inspiration i don't or is there just some dumb shit that's circling in your head some dumb shit
yeah i don't yeah i don't have anything off top. Fuck it. I got one. Yeah, yeah.
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be gangster.
Ray Liotta.
Oh, dude, Jake, thank you, man.
Yeah, we didn't even talk about it.
Ray Liotta passed away today.
Yeah, crazy.
What an icon.
I guess I'll just say live in the moment.
And I'll say that because of that story you brought up.
I mean, it stems from this Ray Liotta thing. Justota thing just you know he passed nobody thought he was going to pass it's sudden this guy with a piston through the neck life is precious and uh living in the moment is just
living life to the fullest because you never know you really don't do you think you're going to die
from something sudden or from something that you see coming I don't know
But I know what my preference is
Which is
I think like
Peacefully
I'd rather die peacefully than like hit by a bus
Yeah I don't want something sudden
But I don't know some people might like the sudden
Because it's so quick whereas if like a disease
Is ravaging your body
Is it a prolonged painful death Whereas like a bus sounds gruesome but it's what five seconds tops
yeah i think there's there could be like the one where you're like sort of living well up until
like old age and then you die in your sleep sort of unexpected that's that's it just old age
preparations you got your like will and your like little notes in place like hospice, family around
you live many years
it's not painful
your transition is comfortable
and it's just nature
taking its course
that is best case scenario
you can say goodbye to your wife Dolores
I feel like everyone who dies in hospice
their wife's name is Dolores
it feels right like Dolores
We had a good run together
I'm out. You know what? I always thought about like
Like it's unfortunate that hospice and hospitals start the same way
Because when they're telling you where you got to go say it's hospice when they go we got to take you to hospice
You think they're gonna say it all?ice when they go we got to take you to hosp you think they're going to say it all
and they say is yeah like uh because like hospital you'll be all right
the implication is you'll be out of it they'll fix you up people don't come out of hospice that's tough you're going to hospice oh thank god yeah yes i would say as i'm closing a door
i'm like we're taking a hospice you know is it toll or is yeah what is it man which is it
come on dude where am i going dude it's a good cliffhanger for a tv show yeah like which one is it which one
it's 24 yeah is it a series finale or is it a season finale or series finale oh dude that's
a good way to think about you you're so deep into the tv writing you're like all right doc shoot me
straight am i getting another season or we need to cap it off here yeah yeah do we just
uh chad do you have a phrase
that we're getting after i forgot uh fucking um let's make the nipples hard yeah um yeah i'll do
the same thing let's playfully flick those nipples nice yeah supposed to get people excited to party
all right be proud of your nips dude
i'm glad you went with nipples yeah come on i'm not gonna be the guy to break the nip street
yeah this is sophisticated comedy mind operating exactly and that's the type of stuff you can come
to expect in my special called hat trick a lot of great nip material i start and i end with nip
material that's right you wear a shirt with just the nips cut out yeah yeah dude i'm really excited to watch the special thank you so much for doing the course thanks
for having me yeah and i think we really helped some people i think we did for real
that's the good advice all right it's been real check out the special dudes check it out guys
if you need advice These guys are really nice
You wanna know
What to do
Where to go
When you need someone to guide you
Just a half a rose beside you
Go free
Go free I have friends beside you Go with me Go with me
Let's go deep
Go with me
Cat and game
Deep