Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 244 - Annie Lederman Joins
Episode Date: June 23, 2022What up stokers! This week we have the hilarious, Annie Lederman, on the pod. Enjoy!  Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping at ma...nscaped.com, and use code [GODEEP].  Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at HelixSleep.com/GODEEP  Â
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What's up dudes, I'm coming to you from the new side of the studio. I'm coming to you from the yellow couch.
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all right let's start the show
we should all be dressed like we're in miami at all times too i think it's my favorite city in
the world it's the number one place on earth. It's the best.
It's like the Vegas of beaches.
It's just like Vegas, but the people actually live there.
So they're like habituated to partying
and they have the endurance to keep doing it.
And do you like Vegas?
I love Vegas.
Vegas is an amazing place.
Those are my two favorite cities.
Yeah, they're incredible places.
Because it's just a,
the thing I like about Miami
is when you're walking down the street,
you feel like a party could pop off at any moment yeah like you can feel it in the air everyone's
they're dancing you know they're like they party the butts are crazy everyone's asses are huge
kardashians asses are getting small now that they're dating the white boys really have they
gotten smaller they're shrinking their asses really yeah how do they do that do they like
do they i don't know what the thing i i don't know if they got like the, I think they got the
Brazilian butt lifts where they like take the fat from the rest of your body and like
inject it.
And the only reason I think it's because there's a slight fupa that comes with those.
Oh, interesting.
They get a fupa?
But I always notice, there's like, it gets a little bit puffy here too.
Wow.
Just a tiny, tiny, tiny bit.
Just because your body's adjusting?
I think just because it's just not where stuff's supposed to go.
Do you think they'll be able to reset the paradigm for what's attractive in butts by going smaller?
I think they can.
The same way they did with bigger asses?
I think they are.
I think that's probably currently happening.
And I feel bad for all of these girls that saved up all their money and went to Brazil and got these scary procedures.
So how do they shrink it?
Do they just put the needle back in, suck it out?
Are they going to put this back in your thigh?
I don't know, but it's got to be because they're dating white guys now.
Are they all dating white dudes?
They're all dating tattoo tall.
Barker, Pete, and then who's Chloe with?
I have no clue. Chloeloe girl chloe's hilarious i think she's
my favorite she's the coolest one yeah her yeah she's had her physical transformations i've never
seen anything like in my life yeah she looks great it's like can you get your shoulder like
i didn't know you could trim i want to trim my shoulders yeah do you i think about this with
like al pacino like he's done so much work and
kept himself looking as close to like 35 year old al pacino as possible do you think that makes it
harder for him to perform because he's like less connected to his true self yeah but do you think
at his age he's still able to perform that well um not to be ageist but don't you think like it's
like it's gotta your skills have to be a little slower
i think he's got the thing in his ear that's telling him what his dialogue is but he's still
pretty good at movies like he was good in the irishman and stuff like that and you know i
actually didn't see the irishman i think i knew how long it was gonna be and i was like it's long
i'm not gonna be able to handle this i thought it was kind of boring yeah i don't know what it's
about but if you tell me it's two and a half hours, I'm busy. It's kind of boring. But that one scene with him and who's the guy who's like Tommy from Snatch?
Oh, yeah.
Steven.
Fuck.
I'll remember.
Steven something.
That's a good scene.
Watch that on YouTube.
Okay.
I just want scenes sent to me.
Guys at home, men and women, if you can send me just the clips that are good.
Thank you.
Steven Graham. Oh. Stephen Graham.
Oh, Stephen Graham.
I was thinking.
That made me know him less.
I want to get a new chin.
I've been thinking about that.
Okay, okay.
I've been looking it up.
Let's talk.
Let's talk.
Do we have a laser pointer?
And I can show you guys what work to get done.
Do you remember?
Wasn't there a Lorenzo Lamas show or something?
By the way.
Lorenzo Lamas renegade?
Yeah, I was going to say.
I feel like Lorenzo Lamas,
I haven't mentioned him in so long
and I feel like this is the right place.
We're kindred.
Yeah.
I've always really appreciated that guy.
He's a great guy.
What is he up to?
I don't know.
He was on an MTV show 24-7,
a reality show,
because one of the guys on the show
was dating his daughter,
but that was 17 years ago.
Yeah, and his daughter was hot.
His daughter was like on,
I think The Bachelor too.
Oh, wow.
She's really making the rounds.
But she's gotta be,
I mean,
I'm sure she's got like 14 year old children now.
Who knows?
That's hot.
You guys like moms?
Oh yeah.
I could see you guys being that mom.
That's more his thing.
I,
I,
uh,
yeah.
I mean,
I'm dating someone younger,
but I,
um,
finally when I was single,
I was like,
this is getting weird.
Well,
I was single though.
I was like,
I always had fantasies of like an older kind of, my boyfriend's 11 years younger than me so let's go
you're a scandal i know and but we're gonna like get married and stuff i'm like it's i never thought
that that would how long have you guys been dating since like two weeks before the pandemic oh that's
a good chunk of time yeah so we weren't gonna i was gonna just break up with him obviously
and then did you guys like, it accelerated everything?
Yeah.
Well, I was like, you can stay through this weird thing.
And then that was, you know, two full years.
Yeah.
Did he live with you?
Yeah.
Nice.
Have you dated a younger guy before?
Um, like, yeah, I thought I did.
I thought I did.
I dated a guy that was like three years younger.
I was like, this is crazy.
And now I'm like, he hasn't been alive at the same time.
Well, how old are you guys 31 34 okay so he has he was he was not on the earth with kurt cobain he's never been
on the earth whoa he was born is he a nirvana fan like has he gone back he can appreciate it yeah i
think we all kind of enjoyed um that song after batman out, right? Yeah, that was good.
What's the fucking song called?
I forget.
I quit smoking weed and then I smoked weed three days in a row
and I'm the most burnout I could be.
Oh, hell yeah, dude.
Weed makes me immediately unmanageable.
My life is not going to work.
You don't drink though, right?
No.
I do Special K.
Did you give up the ganja just to see what it would feel like?
I had to give it up because I was freezing my eggs.
And I guess it's better for fertility than that.
Is this close enough to me?
I have to wait for my boyfriend to be old enough to have kids.
You pay a big lump sum, but then you have to pay month to month to keep them frozen, right?
But I paid five years in advance.
Oh, nice.
Yeah, I don't want them fucking pulling the plug on my eggs.
Right, baller status.
But we did like embryos, so his sperm went in it.
So if we break up, I have to date an Asian guy because he's half Asian.
Wow.
Oh, nice.
Do you know my boyfriend, Todd?
I never met him, but I've seen him on Instagram and he seems like a good dude.
Yeah, I don't think I've met him.
He was at our show, the last night he did a show.
I don't know if, I think he sat near me.
Oh, cute.
No, I sat next next time for a little
bit because he was in the back right he smelled good he did smell good yeah i wasn't there but
chad told me he smells good he smells like venice i like that you're barefoot thank you
is that a thing you do you like to be barefoot a lot most of the time and do you think that's
like a beach thing or like uh no i think it's a family thing yeah my family was pretty skimpy on the
clothing okay did you see a lot of adult genitals and we just walked around in our boxers a lot and
like my mom be sleeping with a titty out yeah no my boyfriend's mom just facetimes us completely
topless all the time i'm like you are so fucking really it is weird oh she's hot like i haven't seen nipple but i like next time the
vacation i will nice i'm sure how soon into dating the guy did you know he was the one you wanted to
freeze your embryos with um probably like six months i was like fighting it but i just like
it better than anyone else i dated i think that's good to fight it too i think people like watching
the fight like i'm sure that was compelling for him to be like oh Annie really
likes me but she can't let her guard down well I did I tried the thing where we like fought and I
was like like where I was just mad at him about like liking me too much or whatever and he was
like I was on the road with Louie this was before right before the pandemic and he had stayed at my
place because he was he worked at the comedy
store at the time and so my apartment was closer so he was like can i just like stay over and it
was like valentine's day or something i was like i don't even know this guy is he like bringing girls
back it's like fuck and then i showed i came back and he had his playstation there it was like the
opposite i was like oh god how do i get rid of this guy so when you guys started dating did you
have like that feeling of like that this feels So when you guys started dating, did you have that feeling of this feels special, but you
were fighting it?
Or did it develop over time?
Well, he's from New Jersey and I'm from Philadelphia, so we had stuff in common.
We both really like Survivor.
That was the thing.
So I was like, maybe we'll do a Survivor podcast, but I just kind of had a crush on him.
But he was so much younger than me that I was like, this is weird.
But he came for me. So I was what am i gonna do he's like crawling
on the floor he's in a diaper what am i supposed to do say no yeah um no but so he came over before
i get a pacifier and i'm like i'm saying no to these boys right but he came over to watch survivor
and then it was just like we just had a crush on each other nice sounds great and then i kept thinking i needed to date someone
older for some reason and then i talked to my friend malo from high school who were like the
survivors of my everyone else was like dead or in prison for my high school because we're juvenile
delinquents but my friend malo is like an author and he's like a rapper professor like he's just like inspired all these people he's a cool guy
mk asante is what he goes by but um i was talking to him on the phone and i was like
i left so i could talk shit i'm like not talk shit but just be like i gotta get rid of this
guy so young or whatever and malo was like i was like you know if i want to have kids i need
someone who goes no no if you want to have kids you need someone younger where are the old ones
like too it's too late you have to go anyone older than us is too old
yeah like when our bodies start to break down the younger person can take on the lion's share of the
i truly don't even need to have kids like i don't have to have kids to take care of me when i'm
older i have a built-in one right oh that's smart smart but he's like a little i think he's like a
little unhealthy to try to like match me like he's trying to age faster i don't like that i'll kill like if he
wants to die at the same time as me we can make it happen but yeah oh that's romantic if he dies
before me i'll be very pissed that'd be a bummer he wanted a motorcycle i'm like no no no no no
there's the perks of dating someone 11 years younger or not being taken from me he wanted
to get a motorcycle. I did.
I think that's normal. Okay, tell me like, okay, because I understand the excitement of it, but what happened in
your life five minutes before you were like, I'm serious about this?
What was I doing?
That was like in January where I was really on one and I was like, I need to get like
a Husqvarna.
I wanted to get like a street legal dirt bike i think i uh was living pretty fast paced at the time and i had made this very conscious
choice that i was tired of being afraid of danger and death yeah and that instead of uh doing things
to protect myself from that because there's no way to protect yourself from that i was just gonna
hurl my way into it and just grab a fucking dirt bike and rip up and down the crowded la streets and just like be in touch with the danger
and death all the time i just almost kill one of those people like every day i'm a horrible
almost every single day from me i i don't how am i supposed to know i'm not equipped to expect i
just have to always assume there's a bike about to get hit by me well the splitting
lanes thing i don't and then i don't understand how yeah i mean i think it happens also like
you're gonna be dead i'm gonna be the one with your death like on my shoulders right yeah i'm
the i'm the victim that's what i want or or worse you want like you want to just be remembered by
one person their whole life yeah i wanted to change the trajectory of someone else's life too i wanted someone to hit me and have to deal with your trajectory to be up and
then straight down and then there's to just be i wanted to die and i wanted the other person to
have to live with my death forever and you would probably like be all mangled you'd be like look
really fucked up i remember driving by a motorcycle accident and they were only there was one person
there were two people and they were only there was one person there were two
people and they were only working on one person and they're like oh my god pronounce dad pronounce
dad yeah my mom drove by a motorcycle accident the guy's head popped off oh and she that was
the thing with him too is like fast and hard are you it's like think of how hard are we to pop our
heads his head popped off and she's you know and then the thing on him too he's like i want to get a motorcycle what if you get gruesomely
injured how are we gonna podcast we have shit to do yeah that's true like he's comes in with like
pins in his whole body he's just like all right we ready dude i'm like fucker yeah but the podcast
i would be healthy for i'd be bringing it because i'd be so in my adrenaline well do you like skydive or anything like that i've done it um did you i liked it okay did you
like it i i felt like i was waiting my whole life for this like amazing feeling and then it was like
i did tandem so i mean maybe if i did it by myself, I'd feel that way.
But I didn't even feel like I got to like make the choice to jump, you know?
Did you talk to your guy much before you jumped out?
I was very concerned in getting an eat out picture in the air.
So the whole thing was just kind of surrounding getting the picture.
And so it was like-
Were you doing it for like a long time to try and capture?
My face was just like open.
My mouth was so dry.
My tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth.
I couldn't get it out.
No, he tapped me at the right time,
but it was like I was more concerned about that
than pulling the cord.
Like I was like, I got to get this.
How old were you when you first did the eat out gesture?
I mean, probably the first time I ever saw it.
It's such a fun one.
It's a good one.
Yeah, probably in camp or something sleep away camp
yeah or were you a day camper no no no come on sleep away camp was the best that was were you
like more popular at sleep away camp i actually wasn't popular at sleep away camp and it i am
i credit it for why i have a good life now because it made you tough i didn't peak young right i was really pissed that everyone was so
popular and i wasn't they were all from brooklyn so it's like what am i gonna compete with the
fucking yeah you can't compete no they take the train yeah i took the train like twice
are you jewish i am like my dad's dad is jewish was it a jewish day camp or sleepover camp no it was a quaker one
quaker yeah oh interesting i haven't even heard of that yeah what are those like i mean quakerism
is like a form of christianity that's it's like kind of hippie shit it's like there's a light
inside of everyone god's a light inside everyone everything so you're like everyone's a pacifist
if you were to go get drafted and you're a quaker you don't have to go to war what were you like as a kid were you like
kind of outgoing and all that kind of stuff or were you more introverted you're upset i was an
upset kid yeah it makes sense i was i could tell you i'm like good i'm still an upset well i kind
of was wondering about the socks because i used to have a problem with socks when i was a kid
and i could see it manifesting into being barefoot, but it actually turned into me like...
When I found out that there was wicky feet and stuff, I pixelated my feet because I could not believe it's a thing.
I didn't know it was a thing.
Do you have a foot fetish because your family always had their feet off?
I do like sucking some toes, but I don't call it a fetish.
But would you be...
Are there deal breaker feet
um rest of the girls perfect no it's not a deal breaker but i'll definitely you know kind of
like be like you peek a little i'll look at the foot i'll be like well that doesn't
make me excited but you know what are you looking are you looking for the arches to be like
no i'm not you want to put your penis like in between them uh i've done that and it's fun but
it's not again it's not something that i'm like we gotta do this i'm just like if someone does it
i'm like this is exciting but i think uh i don't know my girlfriend was asking me she's like what
are you like looking at with the foot are you i'm like i don't know i just look at it i'm like it's
nice i know i'm always like i want to know like the deep down i want to know like all the then
i'm not very like granular about i. I'm just like, nice foot.
Yeah. Give me that foot. One time I thought, um,
I was wearing slides and I was eating with my boyfriend and this guy was like
staring at my feet and I was like,
are you fucking seriously just staring at my fucking feet?
And I got in a pedicure. So I was like, I know they look cute, but,
and then I realized like, as I like look closer,
he was looking at my boyfriend's Yeezys and it was just it was a moment for me
like get over your feet bitch
right what kind of you think you're
some sort of fuck out is but I pixelate
them as like a joke now and it's
just I'm gonna do it for the rest of my life
like if you catch me outside
of my you'll see him
nice but if you're looking online
you can find them online people are always like
I found them
but my wiki feet reviews they're very mad at me oh you have wiki feet yeah and that's once i
realized i had wiki feet i just pixelated them do you think you're creating like a strice and
effect where like the more you try to hide them the more people are gonna look for it that is
funny i'm selling pixelated socks they come out next month nice what are you charging for those
i don't know yet because i the
first ones they sent weren't like good enough i didn't feel comfortable selling them nice
i got sunglasses i saw i forgot to bring them you got a standard though you're like hey these socks
need to be yeah like the sunglasses like i they're like my they're my new cheap sunglasses but i'm
gonna i want to start i want to eventually be selling like fucking sick sunglasses what's your manicure say it says write jokes on notebook paper oh that's cool
that's super cool yeah how did they do they paint that like hand by hand yeah really holds his
breath i like how girly you guys can get yeah we're pretty girly right into the nails i love
fashion fashion's the best it's the best my business manager because i had to spend a lot I like how girly you guys can get. Yeah, we're pretty girly. Right into the nails. I love fashion.
Fashion's the best.
It's the best.
My business manager, because I had to spend a lot of money last month,
was like, his assistant sent me an email that was like,
hey, you should probably not try to spend too much money this month
or whatever.
And I went to Louis Vuitton and sent him a picture.
I was like, believe, bitch.
You're fired.
Do you like that?
Does he get a kick
out of your
well it's his assistant
the main guy
enjoyed it
I think he thought
it was funny
I'm not gonna run
out of money
it's a good attitude
those days are done
yeah you did some like
oh my god
yeah I have so much
more for you
yeah well I
what's the guy's name again
Jim Fortin
Jim Fortin
yeah I listened to his
podcast a few times
but I think you did
the whole program right
I did the whole program.
He's coaching me right now, too.
Oh, you're doing in-person coaching?
No, just on the phone.
But I have hung out with him.
I went to Sedona and had dinner with him.
Really?
So for everyone watching and listening,
who's Jim Fortin?
Jim Fortin is my dude.
He's my Tony Robbins.
He's like a transformational coach and i found his
just randomly found his his uh podcast and then i took his course and stuff and i went from
literally living in my car to having i will never run out of money ever in my entire life
when uh when do you start working with him i started working with him i mean i think it was
like a year ago a year ago i was living in like a shitty
apartment there was construction i was losing my mind i had an ulcer i had like 60 in my account
like i was like how do i get the fuck out of here todd and i were just like dying in this apartment
and then um then what changed i just changed my attitude because it was weird i was like i would
be like hanging out with roan and I'd be like,
why do you have so much money?
I have no money.
We have the same job.
Like what?
Like all my friends were so rich.
I was like,
it's me.
It has to be me.
Yeah.
And I was,
I wasn't like putting myself out there that much.
I was like,
I like didn't like want to be successful.
I didn't believe I could be.
And then I changed my mindset and i'm rich
what what congrats what uh
what i i think it suits you too you seem like someone who should be rich i didn't realize that
before i thought i was supposed to be poor yeah is that what i would say i was poor all the time
i was like i have no money of $100.
I was like, I have $100.
I would always say that.
And I'm like, I have infinite money.
Yeah, part of the training is sort of to have a wealthy mindset,
to have this feeling like I have money.
Yeah.
Like think about in the future, like I always have money.
I always have money.
Well, he says like if you were to treat if you're in a relation you have a
relationship with money if you were in a relationship with someone and you treated
them the way you treated your money like they would leave you right you know it would be like
you're not enough i need more where are you get here now so now how do you approach it well i some i still struggle with
this i was like when i got that email from my business manager i was like what the fuck
um but you took contrary action we're like i'm just gonna go to louis vuitton and well i had
like a i had a week where i was suffering over it i was like am i running out of money and all
the flights just got so expensive too at that time yeah so i was like wait i'm not gonna
run out but why would i run out of money there's like infinite resource i could do a million things
to make money yeah and there's also this i always have this thought that if you spend money you know
it's like you give you put money out in the world then it comes back to you when you're when you try
to hold on to it yeah you tip well when you try to hold on to it that's when you have like a scarce
mindset scarcity mindset and then you lose it um like you want to get things because you want them not
because you think you can have you know what i mean so it's like i always just now i just get
the things i want rather than like oh if i want this i can't have that or whatever and like
sometimes i can't get the thing right away like obviously i would love like to be able to have a
jet or something you know but i i don't have like i don't know have a jet or something, you know, but I, I don't have like,
I don't know if I have any savings.
I don't know,
but I like,
it's been working out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But I got like a check in the mail right when I started doing the gym
fort and stuff,
I got a check in the mail from the IRS and I was like,
Oh my God.
And I had said to my boyfriend right before we went into the mailbox,
like moments before I was like,
we're moving out of this apartment.
I don't give a fuck how we do it.
We're moving out at the end of the month.
It was like three days till the end of the month and i got a uh envelope from the irs and i was like oh no i'm fucked yeah and then i was like
wait i shouldn't think that it's bad and so i like changed my attitude it was six thousand bucks
they owed me oh nice isn't that crazy when has that ever happened i love that i love when you
sort of put that out and then things start coming your way it It feels like magic. I'm like, did I change this?
I'm like, did I magically change what was in this?
You know, I did last night because it was a full moon, a super moon.
Okay.
I wrote the manifestations down.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah.
I learned this from my girlfriend.
Anything you want to share?
Are you scared?
I don't know if you could.
I don't know if you.
I don't know.
I don't know the whole thing.
I get superstitious.
Yeah, okay.
I don't know if you'd say them.
But I don't know.
Don't say them.
It's all career stuff and relationship stuff one time i went okay i got tarot cards read by this girl who
was like a i get scared to get those written well here i choose that they're good like yes
if it's a good thing i'm like they are real if it's bad i go you this is vague i'm not like when
people are like mercury's and retrograde i'm like get your fucking heck shit away from me what the
fuck yeah don't give me a bad month i don't want to have a bad month or two weeks or
however long it is that's a good call but with that said so years ago i was like i came up kind
of fast in the open mics and stuff like i just worked really hard and just always kind of wanted
it to be my career and so there would be these people that have been doing mics for like a while
that i think they might have just been there to like you know have friends i'm like afraid of having
like the slobber corners um slobber corners new podcast coming out um so i go to this i don't
know what the event was it was some like show or whatever. And they're like, oh, and this like open mic-er bitch is going to be doing tarot cards.
So I'm like, okay.
Like I'm like a nut, like kind of like believing, like I trust people.
Yeah.
But I didn't, wasn't thinking about where she is in her, like she probably already like
hated my guts.
Like she probably fucking couldn't stand me.
So I came in and like passed her or whatever.
So she's doing my tarot cards and she's like, what do you want and I'm like do I tell this bitch
what I want like I was like I don't know I like said something like nothing you know I was like
um it'd be cool to like get I don't know what I said but she was like no for your career
and I was like well you know I have my Montreal callback, my Montreal Comedy Festival callback.
And I think I'm going to get it.
And she's like, oh, you're not going to get it.
She goes, sorry, you're not going to get Montreal.
And I was like, and it kind of fucked with me for like a couple of weeks.
But I'd already done all the work, you know.
Yeah.
And then I got it.
And like years later, I saw her and I was like, you know, I did fucking get montreal that's like fucked up that you said i wasn't gonna get it she goes yeah
oh i just make that shit up and i was like you just make that shit up and didn't give it to me
yeah you fucking bitch but yeah so i guess be careful who you get them from it can't be someone
that's like at the poison for you no no are you guys past the poison phase or do you have the
poison for any specific people what does that mean like they're like when their career succeeds you go like i i have it a little bit for the most part
i don't i think i'm pretty nice but i have it a little bit for like people i don't even know who
i think suck but no one i know because most of the people i know i kind of get it yeah or i like them
yeah um but some people i don't know i have a little bit of that where i do get shot in freud Most of the people I know, I kind of get it or I like them. Yeah.
But some people I don't know, I have a little bit of that where I do get shot in Freud when they, you know, when things don't work out for them.
But I try not to beat myself.
My therapist said a smart thing one time where he's like, look, if my best friend wins the
lottery, a small percentage of me wants him to lose it all.
So I think that's just kind of like baked into it.
But what do you have
the poison i don't think i think i'm free of the poison of people but it's but it's taken a long
time they'll just be like random people i'll just attach myself i'm like why is what would they're
and they're always like not as successful as me it's weird fucking just but isn't that just
disliking someone i'm just like this guy sucks fuck this guy yes no there are like i will find
like my favorite comedian to hate like they'll I'll just scroll through, like, the, you know,
Laugh Factory every once in a while.
They're like, oh, I hate this person.
Who is this person?
And then all of a sudden, I see them all the time.
And I go, I just made this person be in my life.
That's hilarious.
I collected them.
Or you know what happened, too?
This happened a lot when I was starting Open Mic.
There'd be someone, I'd be like, I fucking don't like that person.
I don't like the way they do jokes i don't like their energy and then you get
to know them and and oftentimes too like open mic someone would suck on stage but then be lovely off
of it and then i'd get to know them and i'd be like oh this guy's kind of cool yeah and i think
that if i if i knew the people i had the poison for i'm sure it would go away yeah and i feel like
the the worst thing like if you're cool
offstage and you kind of suck onstage,
you can work with that and you can have quite
a career. If you're good onstage
and bad offstage, I think that's
harder. Oh, interesting. Because I think
so much of it is the hang. Like I have so many
people that I know that are
pretty good comics and stuff, but the way,
the vibe I get from them, like I would never take you on the
road. I would never want to like hang out with you like i have opportunities that would
help you but i i you would take from my joy yeah because i get don't you get people like i'm sure
guys because you guys are pretty successful you and you've been i don't know i didn't know you
guys before your stuff but i don't know how long were you guys doing it before you started doing the news and stuff?
Four or five years?
Yeah.
Around three, three or four.
But that's pretty fast to get.
Yeah.
In an LA.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think.
He got good really fast.
Yeah.
You have a weird, you have an inferiority complex.
You think so? Yeah. No, I have a huge ego. Do inferiority complex you think so?
no I have a huge ego
do you think you're better than him?
no
I do like to pit you guys against each other
people try to do it
comics always try to do this when they come out
but I always want you guys to feel like the
like when I did the Bobby show with you guys
I was like do you guys feel like
because it is weird to be like a teen
yeah
but I was like are you like looking at each other's
sets and going like he did better than me sure that's always in there there's a healthy competitive
sort of thing i think the thing though is that uh that's good is like aspiration wise
like he has sort of a more director kind of aspiration i have more actors so i think that's
good right yeah and i think also we both uh love
each other a lot so we're super competitive i mean there's days we want to like competitively
like rip each other's heads off but i think there's a but you guys like each of your wins
like brings the other up too oh 100 yeah and there's deep respect for one another too i think
that's the biggest thing is like we really respect each other yeah my like you you is i talk to bonnie mcfarland like
every night or every day i like love her so much but bonnie's like i saw her hbo special when i
was first starting like she's like so our dynamic is she likes to direct and stuff so we're writing
a movie together that i'll star in and then she'll direct it and it's like so we're actually
writing a series of movies it's gonna be awesome we're writing me like a western a horror oh that's fun yeah like every genre of movie oh
that'd be interesting yeah can't wait um but it's like it helps that she is like
i like i stand her because she's i like look up to her so much too so there's no like you know
like if we had a similar joke which happens a lot because we talk all the time i would never take it
it would always be hers yeah i think one thing too is that we're like similar sort of like that
orange county vibe but also different yeah and there's just like this inherent sort of
difference between in between us
between us that that you know if we were like both look the same and like we're exactly you
know i think that would make it a lot more difficult but i think the fact that people
see us as like a duo but it's like you guys just no matter what you do you always will have a
different kind of yeah uh there's just a difference between the two of you that you can't really.
And it compliments each other.
It compliments, yeah.
And then, do your girlfriends like each other?
They haven't met yet.
They haven't met.
Because my relationship's relatively new,
and then I really like Chad's girlfriend a lot, though.
I just seen her.
I seen her at the shows.
Cute.
Thanks.
I get excited when my boys get girlfriends.
I don't know why.
I'm like, okay, go ahead. Yeah, it's exciting okay it's exciting it's nice well also it's like
i sometimes i worry about these boys on the road it's like it's a crazy life out there
right yeah how so it's just like okay like
you guys aren't the guys to me in my head maybe i'm wrong like you don't seem to be doing it to
only get pussy like you seem to be like I'm sure that there's been some
some fun times
and good times but
there are people that
you're like they're just
old and you're like you're still doing this like
they don't grow out of it and it's like
I just I'm like
they just don't seem like they're ever gonna be
yeah well I think
a lot of comedians like Old as fuck still don't.
And you're like,
you're still like chasing.
Yeah.
It's just like,
yeah,
I don't,
I never,
I never really was that way.
Like I would hook up with a lot of people,
but I was never really like,
even in college,
like I was never really want to like chase,
you know,
like,
yeah.
Like,
you're like,
let's go to like,
talk to chicks.
I was never really that guy. Were you uh i've had my phases i mean i was really not great with women
for like the first quarter of my life and then i think after that i went a little like i just got
super excited at the possibility of it and then but i have found that when i'm in that headspace
of like i'm just trying to hook up with girls
and as and that's taking up a lot of my time.
I don't really like it.
It's like fulfilling, right?
It's yeah, it's fun.
But it's like it's you don't feel full.
Like you're it's not I don't think it's great for my psychology.
Yeah, I think it douches me up pretty quick.
Well, it's just like you think about it's
like do you guys want to have kids and stuff yeah for sure yeah it's like some people are just like
are you gonna like have kids or do anything or yeah i think i think for me too it's like
i think part of it that was just inherent in like my drive towards like this career and stuff is
like wanting to you know get hotter chicks and stuff yeah it
doesn't work doesn't it work more than anything it does yeah and that's like then and there's no
other thing yeah i mean an athlete i guess athlete especially when you see him in person
athletes more but athletes already have the fucking they're already built like yeah yeah
they already have but they have way more swagger when you watch athletes and actors together you're like oh the athletes yeah but i think actors don't i think actors have they're
kind of they're small in real life they're not like not even physically they're just like kind
of like but they are they're like tell me what to say yeah i think my entire body i won't be a
person i think too i was always kind of a so that was like part of it but i think i was always
attracted to the idea of like having a really hot
girlfriend or wife.
Yeah.
And then,
cause I just love the career part so much and just like doing comedy.
That's just what I love to do.
So I don't,
I don't even want to,
I always got sort of frustrated.
Like,
why am I wasting my time with all these dates and shit?
Musicians always have hot wives too.
Yeah.
It's good.
Yeah.
You want like a fucking hot, cool wife.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That'd be nice.
Now the hotties are cool too.
I mean, it's everyone's, nobody has like, I've never met like a dumb, dumb hot wife.
I think a lot of people think like hotter people are dumber, but I think also they have
a lot, they have a lot of experiences and that kind of shapes them to be more intelligent
in certain ways.
Yeah.
If you guys get the, when you, when you marry like one of those people where it's like,
are we allowed to talk like the different species, people that's really the goal yeah yeah not for me but like you know what i mean like that's what i i hope for my yeah you
know i also found when i was single it made me too competitive yeah like i would check out like
every girl and like not like in a leering way but i'd be like i wonder if i could like you know if
things shook out my way if i could get with her but then i was also comparing myself to every dude yeah and
so every dude i saw i'd be like can that guy get laid more than me and then i was like this is
fucking exhausting like it just put me in a headspace that was uh i don't know distracting
yeah just like so different for girls on the road i'm like oh like when i go oh
yeah like one of my audience do you get frustrated that like it's not sort of the same yeah i know i
can be crushing cock if that was my thing yeah yeah no i um i hooked up with like one audience
member once because he was just he really was just like so hot that it was like you had to do it he was one of those people i was like what is happening
um i was like joke hitting on him on on stage i was like oh yeah i was just i was joking i was
like because he was so hot i was just like oh my god and then he had his new zealand accent i was
like i was like am i imagining him who is this and then he just was hitting up the
dm so i was like okay yeah and when after you guys had hooked up were you like okay this is a one-off
or were you like we like stayed for like internet friends i guess i think that's like a girl thing
too like yeah i'm still yeah pretty chummy with most people i've interacted with well i don't
yeah and that's another thing too i think some of them's another thing, too. I think some of the. Not like actively. No, no. But I think some of the the comics that are like sport fucking are mean to that.
You're like, just be like, just have an exchange.
Yeah, I think that's a huge part of it.
It's like it's like being rude.
Like if they say no and then being like, hey, you dumbass.
Stupid bitch.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Like writing it down.
It was like, oh, my God.
Oh, yeah. I did get frustrated with one girl i
invited her to like i was like hey do you want to go to this concert and she's like yeah how much
are you selling the tickets for i was like it would be with me dumbass oh that's so funny well
that's funny okay no you're not like send me nude you cunt send me your pussy bitch and she's like what no no i didn't say so aggressive i didn't say
anything like that but like i want to see your pussy now they're like oh my god i'm in class
can i get out of class first my parents are picking me up hold on you're writing that shit
and they're all mad like you know they're like really pissed you're hanging out with your family
and they're just like on your phone do you do you think people who are doing a lot
of this sport fucking do you think they're motivated just by horniness or do you think
there's like other uh factors in play that are making them it's got to be like loneliness it's
not yeah because it's you don't feel good like i have only been a girl that's had like a one night
stand and i'm always like what did did I, what have I done?
Like, why am I doing this?
I've never been like, that was incredible.
What an incredible experience for my self-esteem.
Like, where I think maybe your self-esteem can get, like, a hit.
I mean.
No, you do.
You do feel like.
I've given, like, my week with Marilyn.
You know, like, you hang out with a guy for a week.
You show him the life you know
but
yeah take them on a ride
yeah like
because
I mean do we
we have like such a cool life
yeah
but I guess it's like
to get friend zoned
by a girl
you're trying to hook up with
would be a thing
that could happen to you
because
we do have this
like fun lifestyle
but you are kind of like
like
if you're single and
you're like inviting a girl to come to shows and stuff she's coming with you and she doesn't want
to fuck you it's like it's not like hey i don't want a friend it's just i'm trying to fuck like
you're taking my fuck other girls time is that a problem um it's just weird like that's not a
problem but i just can't think of how many times in my 20s i was like guys were hitting me and i
was like no i just want to be friends and then i like somehow convinced them to be friends with me
i'm like why would they i look back i go of course i'm my one friend goes i'm done with
girlfriends i don't have enough girlfriends yeah sorry uh our friend i think i can just say joe
maurice yeah i love joe he had a great story about like going back to a girl's place at like
three in the morning
drunk.
And she just wanted to like watch like SportsCenter or something odd like that.
And then.
She was probably showing him she was a lesbian.
And then he was like, what do you want to be bros?
I got enough bros.
Like, I'm not here for more bros.
He's like, but do you have any snacks?
He's like, I don't leave with a bag of something i'm gonna be so watching him eat is like
one of the joys of my life he's an incredible eater and talk about have you listened to his
podcast yes i mean it's so funny it's like if anyone told me they were gonna make that podcast
i go you're a fucking idiot that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard in my life you fucking
moron but with him i'm like it makes perfect sense joe talking about food is the most entertaining thing
i've ever listened to they had a question on his podcast where it's like joe overrated or
underrated philly cheesesteak oh good question like the passion he has for food is it's just
it's the most it brings me so much joy he yeah no he would get bring this popcorn from irwan
it was like jalapeno popcorn or something.
And he'd be working a lot and he would give me some,
which I knew was like a big deal for him because I,
because I was watching him like savor it.
Yeah.
He, I think he even brought like a chip clip bag.
Yeah.
Or like the clip with the bag.
Yeah.
And he would just, he would roll and unroll each with each bite,
which I think is probably like a fat kid thing.
Yeah.
You know, like he learned to like be mindful about his eating.
I think it's all stemming from that because it's the passion of a fat kid.
Right.
Right.
Because wasn't he, he was a fat kid.
I remember the pictures.
I think he was actually a stud.
Oh.
I think he got fat in college.
So he had, I know he had a fat moment and then he lost the weight and the hair.
And thank God. Looks good. Pulled it together. He's got a fat moment. And then he lost the weight and the hair. And... Thank God.
Looks good.
Pulled it together.
He's got a beautiful dome.
I loved his joke about how he had his last haircut.
Yeah.
Which is sad.
I'm like, glue it out a little so you can keep doing that.
This is my last haircut.
Yeah, gals lose their hair too, right?
Yeah.
Are we about to pop into a Nutrafol ad?
Yeah.
I used to take Nutrafol.
It's awesome.
Did it help?
I don't know.
I just, my mom, I think it just made it grow faster.
Yeah.
Is that like the blue goo that you ingest?
No, it's just a pill.
It's just like herbs.
I've been taking it.
My hairdresser's like, oh my God, your hair's getting so much thicker.
Oh, is it working?
Yeah.
Doesn't it take like three weeks to kick in or something?
Six months.
Six months.
Six months?
Yeah, and I dropped off.
A buildup before the pandemic. I was taking it during the pandemic. Well, Todd takes Hems. take like three weeks to kick in six months six months six months yeah and i dropped out i was
taking it during the pandemic well todd takes him and todd was like he was starting to bald and
i mean he's he it's like i like seen his uncle his uncle's like a full asian with like a bald
head i'm like dad like i love you like we'll work through it but it's like there's gonna be a lot of
hats and like we're gonna have to figure it Out. Yeah, but he started taking hims and it just completely grew back and he has no I take propitiate works
It's fucking yeah hims is propitiate. I think so. I think they're both for Nester. I crazy it does it make your
Jizz then it makes it the viscosity is not quite there
It doesn't bother me a time. I don't need I'm not like you know what I need when this is a little more chunk
I've chunk it up. It's it's funny. I like't need, I'm not like, you know what I need when this is a little more chunk. Chunk it up.
It's, it's funny.
I like to chew my cum.
Your cum.
My, my, your cum.
Yeah.
You want like stewy cum.
Yeah.
It's like, it comes out all slow.
You want it to be.
I like it to be like a chowder.
Like a bisque.
Dude, fresh chowder.
Give me that chowder, baby.
But it's a funny side effect.
I, yeah, at Lo loveline they said the most
frequent question they got from guys was how do i come bigger loads oh and so funny and they would
always just tell the guy to focus on something else or you know like not to worry about it but
yeah i haven't had any anytime i mentioned that to a partner they're like girls don't care about
that or there's there's the odd girl who might care but like yeah but you don't i mean enough's
enough i mean we've all had a moment we're like okay guys i'm gonna leave if you want to just continue don't girls
care about healthy loads though you don't want it to taste weird you don't want to be like right
like have you gone to the doctor recently what's going on here yeah because you can tell by you
can tell by a load right that's like it's kind of i think it's probably a male thing i might be the
only person i feel like there's almost like a numbing thing in it's like it tastes like you're not supposed to taste
it oh i think there is something numbing about it right because it's supposed to like neutralize
certain factors inside it feels like i'm like about to go to the dentist i'm about to get like
a root canal or something yeah interesting my girlfriend's like a nice healthy load i'm like that's sweet thank you so
much she said yeah yeah it means it means a lot that is a good i'm always get stoked i'm like i
have a healthy load nice lady you guys both have healthy loads thank you thank you i work on my
load um how do you work on it ice baths oh no does that help the load helps fertility yeah now do you
ice bath how often?
Regularly.
You have one at your place? Three or four times a week.
You have one at your place?
Yeah, I have a big freezer.
And do you have a sauna?
No, I want to get a sauna.
You got to get a sauna.
I mean, that's the goal.
Sauna and then, yeah, yeah.
I know.
I used to be like, why would I ever want to buy a house?
And I'm like, oh, so you can put things places.
Having a backyard and a garage is life-changing
i didn't even i like growing up i took a garage for granted then i got one of my own i was like
this is the most incredible thing ever like parking in a driveway parking on the street is
like an unacceptable life yeah you need it covered hidden i have the tesla too and my
apartment complex has the chargers in each of the Oh, nice.
So, I mean, it's a different life.
If you have a Tesla and you don't have the charger, it's not.
It's tough.
Yeah.
A lot of flying high with gas prices.
Oh, I got my Tesla came in.
So I ordered my Tesla like six months before I got it.
Maybe a year.
I can't remember how long, but it was my first sold out weekend.
And then I bought like three pairs of Jordans and a Tesla.
Like manically.
I was Annie Bonus Letterman is what I called myself.
I was so cocky.
I was like spinning.
I was like walking down the street.
Like everybody wants to fuck me.
Everybody.
I have everything.
I just bought so many things at once.
And it's just been all uphill since.
But when it got here, I started to be like, maybe i don't even want the fucking tesla it's
taking so long like does it exist like did i order it did they lose my order and then it came in the
day before the gas prices went up nice oh i was just cocky i was spinning on the streets again
dude your subconscious is on fire right now it's crazy and then i realized all the things i like
limit myself out i've been doing um a lot of crowd work and I'm trying to like,
I realized that I have some likes,
I've made some rules in my head that it's bad to just do crowd work.
Like I'm being like lazy or something.
Oh, that was your limiting kind of belief.
And I'm like, why am I doing that?
What if I did all my specials were just crowd work?
Why would I need to do?
Yeah. It feels like that swung.
I feel like when I first started standup,
there was like a hierarchy to it and material was the top and crowd work was perceived as not as
serious but now it seems like crowd work is the audience has always liked crowd work it's just
been like I just used to listen to like what comics I came up with it's like why would I be
listening to that when they came from like an older model that's like we're all we were just
like open micers what the hell do we know like louis told one person one thing and it like trickled
down to all of us or something you know he put it in his show the godfrey episode where godfrey's
doing crowd work and he turns to his niece and he's like that's not as good but then the niece
loves it more yeah oh yeah that's i mean because that's the thing it is like they want it's like
who am i here for the crowd or louis oh louis he i okay so i opened for him
i opened for him before the pandemic and i was so nervous opening for him so and i was so insecure
and before i'd done all this work on myself and stuff and i and i like had a good set but i just
was like tight and nervous and afterwards he was like giving me advice and he was like I'm not going to say the name of the comic on air but I'll tell you who it is should I say it and
then beep it or should I just yeah we can beep it out yeah okay so and I was already doing very
well in my career as the comicster for like 10 years or whatever like I mean everything was good
but I just was nervous around him and so he's sitting with me in the lobby of the hotel and
he's like he's like you know he goes you of the hotel. And he's like, he's like, you know, he goes, you're like very interesting.
And he's like, you're very funny.
He's like, you deserve to have more confidence on stage.
He's like, you know, once you get to the level where like female comedians are kind of like talking shit to you.
He's like, you know, you'll get to the level of like.
I was like, I'm so much more.
He just had no clue like where i was in my
career yeah she's like a nice person everything i'm not like talking shit but it was like
louis when i get to the level of someone who's like five years behind me at least and in comedy
and success and stuff you guys are getting quiet no i'm just listening i'm okay i just want to make
sure you're not like she's our sister no um but i was like louis and it was like it was so like kind of like heartbreaking because i was
like oh you didn't like see me and he was like he's like you know uh we'll bleep this one out
too he's like he's like she's like a good comic he's like but she'll never be as like interesting
as you or anything like that he's like so he was giving me these like compliments but he wasn't
giving me like what i wanted like being compared to someone that's like way behind you and comedy is like so crazy.
And he was like, you know, once you get to that part where like other comedians are talking
shit and I want to be like day two of comedy, like, what are you talking about?
I always like once I got Montreal, they all said I fucked the booker to get in.
Like I had like crazy rumors about me all the time.
I was always like, what?
But then, so i was like sad
about that i was like oh and it's really just he probably just like groups female comedians
together who knows why he said all that but then the comedy store documentary came out and he sent
me all these texts he was like dude it was amazing you're so good like it was everything i wanted
right yeah he was like your joke structure everything like it's so strong he's like you're
such a good comic and and um and i all right, am I better than it?
Can you find something that goes 1 million percent?
I was like, thank you, bitch.
It was eating me.
I was like, yeah.
Yeah.
It was one.
It was like a fucking seven minute set.
I was like, do not judge me on that.
Yeah.
Did a were you competitive with other comedians when you were coming up?
It's weird.
Like, no, but I would be like, there'd be people that would like, it seemed like they
got things like really easy.
Like, are you okay?
I like how you just were cool with it.
Maybe no one will notice.
I would have.
Yeah.
That's good.
That's Zen.
No one knows who did that.
Yeah, it was more like, because I always did feel like i was competing with myself i never felt like there was anyone like right there with me or
anything but i there was like people if i would see people not getting like shit talked i'd be
like what the hell they were like succeeding but people were like happy for them i was like
what are you fucking bitches were fucking all mad when i got things why are you so happy for this bitch you know but um maybe i made
that up too maybe people were happy for me and i made it up yeah and also who cares why do i need
people to be happy for me it's ego yeah do you think that's just part of being at the comedy
store and stuff and just being surrounded by comics i think that was more like before the comedy store.
Because when I came to the comedy store, I got passed like right away, which never happens.
So I like walked in, did one audition and was passed.
I never wasn't able to park in the lot or anything.
I've never had like the thing everyone else has where they're like, I just want to get into the store.
I didn't even know it was like, I'm so cocky about it too.
It's probably better too, right?
What?
Yeah, that you didn't have it built up in your head as some impossible brass ring.
You're just like, oh, I'll just do this.
I've never even tried to get into the cellar.
I used to live in New York.
I never tried.
Because I knew I had too much of it built up.
And I was like, I just don't even want to deal with that.
And then I walked in and got past the comedy store because I had no clue.
So I know for a fact if I had known what the comedy store was, I probably would have like tanked my set or something.
Right. And when you were growing up in Philly with like a delinquents where you were a rabble rouser to your troublemaker.
Yeah, but I don't think I was as much of a troublemaker as like my friends were like really true criminals.
Like my parents sent me to the school because.
Like I was kind of not liking school, you know, I was like maybe smoking a cigarette here and there.
You know, I was kind of getting bad.
But then they just sent me to this like straight up like
juvenile delinquent school where everyone had been kicked out of their schools.
So you were like, you liked the bad kids being never fully like.
I wasn't fully committed to them, but it was fun.
I mean, it was like more fun.
It was like adrenaline.
We're like stealing cars and doing crazy things. Yeah, especially at that that age that's like the most adult thing you can do is be bad
exactly but then i realized i had no one to look up to i was like who do i looked up to like
mobsters like gang members like everyone's dead like everyone's like has a horrible life yeah
there'd be those dudes there'd be like 30 year olds who are hanging out with 16 year olds you're
like man that guy's cool but then when you look back on be like 30 year olds who are hanging out with 16 year olds. You're like, man, that guy's cool. But then when you look back on it, you're like, why was he hanging out with 16 year
old?
I had guys that, yeah, I had like 20 year olds take me out when I was like 15 and stuff.
And I, I wasn't like fully like, this is good.
Like there was still a part of me that was like, this doesn't seem good.
There's something off.
Yeah.
I wasn't like, I love him, but it was like exciting.
Cause they like could get you into bars and do, you know you drugs and stuff yeah that is exciting but then you're like look back
you're like that is really crazy on their end i mean that is really crazy yeah no bueno it's
funny looking back when i was in high school i wanted to be a stoner so bad and just like a
druggie i thought it was like the coolest thing ever and it is hilarious looking back on the
people i idolized and then the people who are like older
who were like you know buying us drugs and booze and stuff and you're like and you look back and
you're like this is the biggest losers can you imagine buying a kid cigarettes right now yeah
or even like that's when i knew i was an adult when i started like siding with the grow like
oh yeah oh and it wasn't that long ago. It was like probably like 31.
I was like,
yeah.
Buying kids like cigarettes is bad.
Yeah.
What about kids that on like their,
like it's their prom and they're like,
Hey,
can you buy us a bottle of like Malibu rum?
It's like,
you want to be the cool,
like you want to be the cool person,
but it's like,
go find some other sucker.
You know,
I did that when I was 25 and maybe I wouldn't do it today.
25 is so close to being, I bought it for them. And I was like, Hey, just be responsible. You know, I did that when I was 25 and maybe I wouldn't do it today. 25 is so close to being.
I bought it for them.
And I was like,
hey, just be responsible.
You probably still had your fake ID.
I was like,
don't give too much to like the wrong people.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I could see doing that.
I just think about liability and stuff.
If you like,
if you get held liable,
that's what I think about.
The thing is,
they're going to get it,
but it is like an ego thing.
You're like,
I want to be the one that kind of like daddy is the situation for them and i used
to ask adults to do it for me and i always found someone so i kind of wanted to pay it forward
right and i never did anything too gnarly once i got the booze yeah it just got drunk and vomited
basically yeah no yeah it was well my parents would have like keggers for us. My parents were those parents. They were the cool parents.
Yeah. But it was like, it is weird when you're like, that is crazy.
But then I guess you don't want your kids like going out.
But we would then throw keggers like disrespectfully when they would leave.
We would like do a secret one, which is so rude when they were like doing them for us anyway.
You got to do it though.
It felt great.
when they were like doing them for us anyway you got to do it though it felt great my brother had a party and we i mean people we were doing nitrogen like we were like we had like tanks
like everything was like you had tanks of nitrogen yeah people were passing out like it was it was a
fun party and we had like a hot tub and stuff so it was like you know cool we had like uh
air hockey we had a couple fun party things it was So it was like, you know, cool. We had like air hockey.
We had a couple of fun party things.
It was always fun doing whippets.
And then having that one friend who does way too many whippets.
And everyone's kind of look at him.
You're like, are you okay?
This isn't going to work out for you.
Yeah.
Well, I remember we were doing it in college.
And we did, you know, we would each do like two.
Yeah.
And then this one friend, Connor, he did like 10.
And he passed out.
And we're like, oh, fuck. It was the person with the head injury. We were like, oh, he's bleeding. He's just like, he's like, Connor, he did like 10 and he passed out. And we're like, oh, fuck, dude.
It's not the person with the head injury.
You're like, oh, he's bleeding.
He's just like, he's like, oh, oh.
And you're like, whoa, dude.
Because you can't, when you, if you do too much, you are just on the ground.
It's not like, you don't have a moment to like gather.
You're on the ground.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're like, oh, you're right.
They were fun, though.
You ever listen to dubstep while doing them?
Oh, that's awesome.
It's awesome
it's like your whole world is like
for like 10 seconds
yeah it was fun being a little bad kid
it was a good time
and then did you go to college
I did no I went to college
I went to the college of Santa Fe in New Mexico
it took me forever to get my undergrad
yeah 8 years for me
yeah it took me 8 years but then my college went out of business two weeks later.
Really?
I got a message on Facebook from one of my art teachers that was like, hey, you have
like four incompletes and the college is going out of business in two weeks.
I was like, what?
I didn't even know that was possible.
Yeah.
For a college to just go.
It went out of business.
Then it came back as another college and then that went out of business.
And then the barracks burned down
it was like okay so what got you into comedy um my dad was funny i don't know i was like always
in trouble i was always like kind of able to get i was like always like wild and getting attention
and getting people to laugh was it weird for you when you started stand-up to have a big personality and then try to translate that to stage?
I honestly always knew I was going to be good at it.
Nice.
I always knew.
I was scared.
It felt so embarrassing to say I wanted to do it.
I just had to admit I wanted to do it because it felt cocky or something. It felt arrogant to be like,
I'll be able to be funny on stage and make everyone laugh and all that stuff.
So then when I started, I wasn't good.
I was like, I was like, what the fuck?
So I had this like weird like where I was like, I would wake up in the morning.
I got to be funny or like I had like I only thought about being funny and I never was like really thinking about getting things.
And I think that's why I got so many things.
Like I always got like Montreal and all those things. Cause I just wasn't even like,
I just want to be funny.
And now I want,
now I'm funny and I want everything.
What's your,
what do you like to do the most kind of standup?
What's your kind of goals for your career?
My goals.
I just want to be selling out fucking huge venues i just want to be able
to perform to the most people i can but for the most amount of time yeah like like three hour sets
no no no i did do over an hour a couple times this weekend in houston it's rude right you start
they're tired i'm like i'm sorry guys like they're laughing but it's like they've given you everything
they've got they want to go home and then you got to end the set
by being like we went a little over okay just imagine this was 10 minutes before how excited
you were let's end on that note you know like oh do you like doing the road more than la um
i like doing all of it i don't know i just like ever before i was like where's your favorite place
to perform i'm like here i don't know it's fun every time i have no complaints it's the best it's like i was realizing because i only sell
out some venues and then some i i don't and i'm like i'll get like a little bit like fuck i really
want to and i'm like no it's always fun there's no matter who's in the audience yeah so i just
want to sell out it's like i just have i mean i'm gonna sell it out i have four days i just have
flappers it's like you don't want to not sell out sell it out i have four days i just have flappers it's like
you don't want to not sell out flappers i sold out the first show yeah the main room i just want
to sell out those shows that i mean if you don't sell out the yoohoo room it's time to say goodbye
it's time to say yoohoo to a new job it's time to buy yourself a yoohoo i do like that little
yoohoo room though yeah it's fun i remember bringing like at the early days bringing friends to like bringer shows
there did you bring did you do bringers i skipped bringers i was able to my set because i was
getting up so much in new york my set got pretty good pretty fast so like i had like a good 10
minutes and um and i actually remember i went back because I thought I had more time.
And then I went back to Philly and I did the Helium open mic.
And the guy let me on.
Like I really have had a blessed, like I have been very fortunate.
People always kind of just like let me go up and stuff.
So I didn't have to fight as much.
Even though I
thought I had the perception that I was fighting but so the guy that was running it the manager at
the time I guess he had seen me in New York or someone wrecked me or something so he just let
me go up but someone came up to me before it was a two-minute mic and all the mics in New York had
been five minutes and he goes just heads up like do your best this is like a good mic like do your
best so I trimmed the fat of all my jokes.
And I like, that was like a very important lesson because I think I'd been more rambly.
I could probably do that now.
I could probably go through my site and go, okay, you're saying like a hundred extra words
each joke.
Did you do late night?
On TV?
I did Carson Daly like two times, I think.
Whoa.
What's Carson like?
He's never there
well they pre-recorded
him at like the ice house
or something right
they have him like
they have someone
interviewing you
and then I guess
then they have him
come in
and pretend he's talking to you
so tell me more about that
like he just wasn't there
is he your favorite VJ
um
Jesse
remember Jesse
wild man
yeah Jesse was cool
he was problematic right
didn't they cut him he was like yeah I was cool he was problematic right didn't
they cut him he was like yeah I'm sure he like molested a kid or something
allegedly I just made that up who was my favorite BJ I liked the mall you know I
was really into the mall but I could see being a BJ oh yeah I BJ energy I think I
like to say curse words too much. I get in trouble.
You wouldn't want to be a VJ?
I just like saying VJ for some reason. Yeah, VJ.
I'd love to be a VJ at spring break.
You would be a great VJ.
Actually, I feel like you guys are giving me the compliment
that you are supposed to have.
That's what I'm fishing for.
Yeah, I know. You guys would be excellent VJs.
In fact...
What up? I'm JT. We're in Cancun today.
And who's ready for the sloppy
burrito makeout set you already have it in your mouth do you remember when they did that it was
a girl's fantasy to be in a burrito with a guy and they would just make stuff up they would just
and then yeah there's no way that was her fantasy and they covered her in like sour cream and salsa
and then they did a close-up and they were making out of there there you go bitch i guess that was all made up huh all that hijink also how drunk couldn't can you get like they can't let you get too drunk
i don't know i don't know what the playbook was back then right dude i thought i saw a high school
teacher in girls gone wild oh my god did you come everywhere um yeah like five of my boys were over
so definitely but then um who's the cookie someone
get in the middle do people do limp biscuit thing uh that's what limp biscuit is right it's when
everyone you jack off in a room yeah yeah a soggy soggy skin we're doing the elephant walk
elephant walks where you all get on all fours and you make like a you know conga line basically but
you're holding each other's dicks. Did you do that? No.
They always talk about that though.
They're like, every frat is like, bro,
sig pi, they do the elephant walk.
And so every frat would talk about each other frat.
Well, it's just, I mean, I guess the insecurity
would be like, how hard do you get
while someone's grabbing your dick?
Right.
That's your boy.
That would be the thing.
The boner would be the problem, right?
And I'm cool with doing that.
I just want it to be a volunteer army. Right. I don't think I should be conscripted into it out of some
sort of you know misguided fealty um Jake you had a question there were a lot of words in there
thank you that was cute that was like a poem oh appreciate that thank you so the original question
I had we kind of talked about but I got a question for you were a voice actor in GTA yeah how did
that come about and like what did you do I did uh opie and anthony i was on
opie and anthony on the radio and lazlo listened to it lazlo at rockstar and then he just like hit
me up and he was like i need you to be like it just has to be your voice i want you to be on
this radio uh program with jb smooth so i he flew me out i was living in la at the time he flew me back out
to new york and i recorded with jb smooth for like it was scripted and then we just did like
improv and it was probably like an hour and then it's like the coolest credit i've ever had what
do you say what are you on the radio it's me and jb smooth it's a radio called radio station called
chakra attack and i play cheryl his like sidekick which she's a radio called radio station called chakra attack and I play Cheryl his like sidekick
Which is a prostitute is that right or no? Yeah, I might have been I actually haven't listened to it since I did it
Oh, is that crazy?
That's what they don't play Grand Theft Auto and listen to myself. Is it great that I have five it's Grand Theft Auto 5
Yeah, cool. I know I'm like six is coming out right?
Isn't this was becoming I was gonna fucking yeah, this is throwing me as the fucking coolest person you gotta get back on there but i heard it's in columbia is
that a thing i don't know i'm not sure i'll look into it the new ones in columbia i don't think
lazlo i don't even think lazlo works on that anymore we were supposed to make a cartoon
together and i blew it like i do there's so many like opportunities i'm supposed to do stuff and
i'm just like i just don't call back i'm like you know what I mean it's like good stuff
yeah I can't tell you how many things I'm trying to think of like really fucking things I've just
I had like Fox had me doing this like shortcom thing it was like 15 minute sitcoms and I like
just couldn't get along with the writers and stuff I got my period on this girl's
couch accidentally and it was like over like I stood up and they were just like a it was a blood stain on her
couch and it was like i guess i'm not getting the i guess i'm not gonna be on fox like it was like
so bad she wasn't like more understanding because she goes through it as well she was um
pissed it was like a white it was just such an unfortunate moment and we already
kind of didn't get along like there was a weird vibe i don't know if she like maybe she was jealous
because i was kind of like just kind of happened into this thing doing stand-up and stuff and she
was a writer and probably was like i would like to have my own opportunity with fox or whatever
or maybe i just was like late to stuff i don't know who knows i don't think i was i think as much as i thought
i was easy to work with i probably was not easy to work with when me and chad first started
writing together he accidentally jizzed on my couch but we breezed past it it was a healthy
load it was a red couch and you got white jizz on it but it's a healthy load that's good that's
what i noticed right away as they're like oh you
are not on propitia this is healthy sort of thing wow that caking is top tier oh i like yeah how it
how it um it almost crumbles it's amazing oh mine doesn't crumble yeah no if i get it on like a
couch or something it's like you can pick it up whole it doesn't jingle it folds yeah it doesn't
break you just pick it up you're like this is a, it folds. Yeah, it doesn't break. You just pick it up.
You're like, this is a load.
It just freezes.
I like to make sure that my boyfriend puts his load between two pieces of glass so we can check it out.
Do that smash effect.
Well, we look at it under the, I want to see them squirm.
Under the microscope.
Oh, do they keep moving for a while?
Yeah, I have no clue.
Yeah, I think you're right.
I've never seen sperm.
It's always been immediately swallowed.
You and your boyfriend, like the Jolie Curie, just doing cool shit.
Yeah, we're just but we actually do.
This is what we're known for is I have a hospital bed.
And so I scooch to the edge of the hospital bed.
And then he like brings me up to his penis level.
Can we have a break for a few minutes
and then we'll answer some cues
yeah
what's up dudes I'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that we got a new
patreon out bonus episodes each week
classic chat in JT we are getting
down and dirty the way
we did in episodes 1
through friggin 50
it's classic you're gonna love it
bonus content each week patreon.com
slash chad goes deep you will not regret it we also have tour dates coming up this fall we are
going to be in nashville chicago north carolina south carolina new york and more dates coming
soon come check us out patron not patreon just chad andT.com. We're also brought to you by the legends,
of course,
at Manscaped.
Manscaped,
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Did I just put some hair tonic on this?
Sorry, I didn't mean to curse him in the ad.
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package into the full package with manscaped don't miss out let's get back to the show
landscape don't miss out let's get back to the show wait did i tell you that i met um chad kroger's brother oh you did yeah mike kroger he's cool i
heard they're i heard they're cool dudes yes everyone's cool yeah everyone i've ever met is
cool he's cool obviously i love papa roach that's nothing new there i love papa roach but i've been
starting to go on stage i go on stage to Last Resort sometimes and I go on stage to,
I've been going Nickelback Rockstar
and it's fucking epic.
Dude, going out to Last Resort is a good call.
It's the best.
And I chug like Red Bull.
I like throw a lot of shit in there.
I love that.
That's awesome.
Yeah, I have a lot of fun.
Yeah, I want to go out to like Lincoln Park or some shit.
Slipknot?
If I go out to Duality by Slipknot, you know what I wanted to go out to yeah, and it's it's a risk because the energy is not correct
But the joke is good. Mm-hmm. I want to go out to like Melissa Etheridge come to my window great
I also okay. So so help me with this
Maybe we have to edit out part of this just depending but I
They want me to do goddamn comedy jam when I'm in Cancun.
Now, my nightmare on this earth is singing in front of people.
It's like immediate fight or flight.
I am panicking.
I'm filled with like, it's like blood is boiling inside me.
It's my hell.
Josh Potter pitched this to me he goes
what if it did come to my window
like something that's like
your voice
but here's like
I'm not going to commit
I don't
it's my hell
it's my hell
I think you have to commit
but how am I going to commit
I think
it's my hell
I think this nervousness
you have for it
is going to contribute
to the performance
I think you just have to channel it.
I mean, I believe in conquering my fears.
I love it.
I love any sort of fucked up thing that I'm scared of.
I'm addicted to the feeling of conquering my fears.
However, I just also think how gangster it is to be like,
no, I'm not doing your fucking karaoke show.
Actually, no.
I think it's more gangster to do it have you seen the
clips of it people are good and people aren't good have you seen the bad ones because i can
show you a few i don't care the only way i'm gonna do it okay and this has to be edited out
because it'll it'll kill the surprise yeah we'll take it we'll take it out um what do you think if
i came out to duality by slipknot i think that's good i think
push no but you okay but and how are you gonna come out because if you come out not like because
i come out like which is funny but i think also if you just come out and like just like
well if i came out i was just like i was like what's up dudes
it's like i push my fingers into my eyes i'm just like hey what's up
guys i think i think that it's the that what we do is so fun and there's like so many opportunities
to yeah can you sing a little bit of come to my window we can help you no yeah not like yeah
that's good don't sing no i it's like i it's like j good. Don't sing. No.
It's like,
it's like,
Jeremiah got me to sing on his podcast.
It's my hell.
It's literally my hell.
Come to my window.
You think you're going to get me in?
This is,
come back,
see my life. I'm not consenting to this.
Sorry.
They put me on my bad side.
They made me ugly.
See, here's the thing. They put me on my bad side they made me ugly see here's the thing
they put me on my bad side they got me down okay they he was asking me about he was already asking
me about cancun i thought i brought that topic up this was a plan okay they planned this
you're raping me. Oh my God.
Let's start with the cues.
Let's cut that out.
Yeah.
Don't cut that out.
Respect your point of view.
Leave it in.
Annie, what are you doing?
What are you trying to get us? I'm getting you guys canceled.
I'm getting you musically canceled.
Have you guys done Goddamn Comedy Jam?
No.
And I would be really nervous if they asked.
But I think I would try and do would be really nervous if they asked.
But I think I would try and do it.
It is not my thing.
Like karaoke is my fucking Vietnam.
I just, it's not for me.
I also don't like going to it.
I don't like seeing it.
It's like, I like to talk.
So if I'm not able to talk, I'm, you know, kill me.
Yeah, maybe you can do like a spoken word song, like Popular by Notta Surf. No. Yeah, you don't have to. Oh my God, you know what me yeah maybe you can do like a spoken word song like popular but not a surf
no yeah you don't oh my god you know what i should do i should do the sunscreen song oh yeah
boz lerman yeah i think about it by the way it's one of the best songs of all time it inspires the
shit out of me i i every day there was a kid that came to my shows in st louis and he's like i just
graduated from high school he was like an 18 year old and i wrote on his Louis and he's like, I just graduated from high school. He was like an 18 year old.
And I wrote on his shirt that he bought.
Like, I was like, you have to go look up Baslim.
Like I wrote the whole thing.
Like his entire shirt's ruined.
It's directions.
Oh, I'm driving out to Coachella one year.
It was me and the boys in the car.
I said, put this song on afterwards.
It was dead silence.
You know, you're nervous.
You don't know how they're going to respond afterwards.
You guys were like, that was meaningful.
And I was like, dude, this is my career.
And then you got to try to not be like, this is the part.
Okay, guys, this is the part. this part's so good the gas prices and you too will remember a time when things were simple and cheap and everybody had respect or
something like yeah when gas prices were low and politicians were honest honest yeah it's a great
line oh i got chills just saying it it's so. And the line where they're like about not worrying because.
It's just as effective as like.
Chewing bubble gum or whatever.
And it's like because the things that are going to.
Oh, I don't know.
Like side swipe your things.
Side swipe you.
Two o'clock in the morning on a random idle Wednesday.
And you're like, you know what they're talking about.
Yeah.
Becomes more and more true.
It's so crazy. It is true. It's so crazy.
It is amazing.
It's so good.
It actually makes me put on sunblock too sometimes.
I'm like, I got to do this for Boz.
We just don't wear sunscreen.
Oh, that's cool.
I am lately because I got-
A girlfriend?
Sun allergy.
You got a sun allergy?
No, I was in Hawaii bronzing so much that i got too much sun would you
ever like for the bit like get like a thong tan line oh yeah yeah i would do that just cuz speedo
oh yeah i'll do anything for the bit i know except sing honestly except sing for me i think it's good
you have your boundaries i do think it's cool to not
do it but but i could i could do something i would have to the thing is like what if i then practice
a bunch and then it's just in the moment i don't know how panicked i'm gonna be you're a pro you'll
settle into it and just i'm not a pro at singing you'll be lady gaga on a star is born i'm a pro
oh my god how funny is that that'd be a funny one to sing because I'm a pro. Oh my God, how funny is that?
That would be a funny one to sing because I'm a bad singer.
I think people think
I would be a good singer too.
You have that energy, yeah.
So that's the old Newport voice,
the Newport's voice.
Any more questions for me?
We got some questions
from our listeners.
Okay.
So we're going to give them
some advice.
What's good, Stoked Nation?
Coming at you from Down Under.
Around a month ago, I matched with a girl from hinge you pretty much immediately
invited me over to her place when i got there i realized i'd been had bamboozled tricked and
outright misled while she wasn't bad she also wasn't bad she didn't look exactly like her
pics not terrible but not the same either way i figured i was there so fuck it turns out this
chick is a bona fide freak she'll just send me completely unsolicited nudes tight and is into some pretty kinky stuff that really rose my engine
but she's way more into me than i am into her and she said some shit that definitely would keep me
from entering any kind of relationship with her should i keep on playing hide the sausage with
her or just cut things off she said she's not looking for anything too serious but i'm not so
sure she's lying but i'm definitely not thanks for the too serious, but I'm not so sure. She's lying. But I'm definitely not. Thanks for the advice.
Fuck Puzio.
What do you think?
Cut it.
Just cut it.
Go find someone else.
But is he not looking for a girlfriend anyway?
He just doesn't want to deal with the clinginess.
And she's already sending him all the pictures.
Yeah, I think he feels like she's getting more and more invested every time they do. Yeah, she's invested.
I mean, she's not going to stop.
It's like the more he like, if he just starts like,
I'll only see her once every two weeks,
she's going to fucking slip on her own pussy juice.
She's going to go crazy.
She's going to like him more.
Like if you either have to cut her off or date her,
like you can't like, if you start,
if you slowly cut off, she's going to get obsessed with him.
She's going to start driving by his house and shit.
Do you not agree with this?
No, I do.
Because if you start,
if you try to just put space,
she's going to be like,
he's the mind games.
Right.
She's already invested.
So anything he does at this point
that is still in her proximity.
She's more into you.
Trust your gut, bro.
Trust your gut.
Go get another girl
to tickle your taint.
Yeah, that's what I thought
it was too, right? It's pretty clear she licked his butt. She licked your butt. Girls. Trust your gut. Go get another girl to tickle your taint. Yeah, that's what I thought it was too, right?
It's pretty clear she licked his butt.
She licked your butt.
Girls are into it now.
But she probably is like, oh, he let me lick his butt.
He must love me.
But girls will like, I mean, it's like you will like make up like,
I've had guys that weren't into, like it's,
they're giving me all the signs that aren't into me,
but then they still come over and they're like, well, they must like,
and it's like, they don't.
People trust action more than words.
You can tell someone I'm not serious, but then if you hang out with them all the time,
that's the part.
And you can trust her action.
If she's sending you just like a fucking 4pm.
That's what, that's what blindsides him on a 4pm.
On an idle Tuesday.
His nudes from a girl you're not into.
He's like, throw away your old bank statements.
Keep those pussy pics.
Keep all those pussy pics.
I know.
Do not keep your love letters too.
Ew.
That was one of his lines.
I don't like that.
You don't think so?
No way.
Bye.
No remnants of anyone.
Every boyfriend I've lived with, I just move back to like New York or LA when we break up.
And I just leave my stuff.
I have family members who do the same thing. Anytime there we break up and i just leave my stuff i have family
members who do the same thing anytime there's a breakup they just leave town yeah i'm gone
you can have the things do you want them have it wash your hands of it goodbye well because i
usually like it's usually like a situation i don't realize is bad until like the moment i
realize it's bad and i'm like i'm out like isn't that crazy with relationships like you can be in
a horrible relationship but you're so like committed to making it work that the moment you get out of here like holy shit i was just insane
there for six months oh crazy and like and just and you can just see in retrospect how much the
person was like telling you exactly the whole time they're telling you who they are exactly
who they're well i always looked at it like i had like a a snake obsession snake and the obsession
snake would like shoot into the mouth of someone
and then i would they're just blowing the obsession snake no but so then i would be like
obsessed with that person with the snake in them and then like i would just get it that they're bad
for me like i would just wake up in the middle of the night and be like and the snake would like
shoot out of them but it would just shoot into someone else and then i'd be like obsessed with
someone else and then i got over that and then now i love my boyfriend
probably have a good boyfriend but i was like anxiously attached from i think probably because
i was in an incubator when i was little like some stupid like weird shit from like before i can
remember is that crazy like when you're you do therapy and they're like this is where your
anxious attachment started though like you were seven seven and this person ditched you at recess. I'm like, I'm a 34-year-old man.
It wasn't that.
I know, but it's like, no, it is.
And they're like, oh my God, it is.
But it's so little.
It's such a young thing.
But I would attract guys that were coddled by their moms.
So then they didn't want girls that were too much.
But for some reason, they were into, I don't know why.
And then we would just be in this thing of like just the complete wrong things for each other but whatever
i'm right there with you and now dad's just cool i just have like a cool boyfriend it's just
the best it sounds great has he been on the pod uh he like has called in and stuff but we want
to have one where our boyfriends are on. That'd be fun.
Yeah.
See our dudes.
Every time he calls in, though, we put Bobby's picture up.
Sup, legends?
I could use your advice with a tough sitch.
I recently rekindled things with my ex-girlfriend.
We dated in high school and had a great thing going until she cheated on me at a party.
She claims that she was really drunk and that she wasn't being careful enough,
but also that the dude took advantage of her intoxication.
Regardless of what really happened,
I respect that she had the balls to admit it on her own
and gave me the space I needed at the time.
She truly is a dank chick who really cares about me,
and I'm willing to give her a second chance.
I now go to college in the Midwest,
and since then we've boned on occasion
when I've been home for break
and even tried to do a long distance for a little.
I had determined that long dist was too harsh for my dome and if we were going to make it work
we would have to be living in the same place again. The other day we spontaneously boned after
not having seen each other for almost a year. This brought back a lot of feelings, attachment,
and anxiety for me. Since we still have a full summer ahead of us, I've contemplated whether I
want to hang out with her more and enhance the attachment before I go back to school in the fall or if I should make the tough decision and tell her that I need some space
and that we shouldn't try and rekindle things again until after college I love you guys in
the pod and I count on you for the best advice thank you and stoke on do you follow that I just
banging exes is just always like
so weird
remember when I was this person
how many years of college is he in now
did he say
sounds like he's probably like a sophomore or junior
I mean live in the moment dude
gotta find a chicken at school
he's in college he's gonna ruin college
he said he won't do a long distance
with her though no and he's worried if they spend the summer canoodling that when she goes away he'll
be a wreck all right well you got to just follow if you want to just hook up with her over the
summer you gotta hook up with her over the summer right what are you gonna not hook up with someone
you want to hook up with that's what i'm kind of thinking i'm like no and you know it's gonna hurt like yeah just take the hit yeah i what about the is he just gonna get too attached i like i don't really like the
situation like she cheated on him and then he's like yeah trying to keep space but he's also
attached and he's gonna get more attached over the summer and then like be heartbroken at the
end of summer yeah i don't i feel like he should look for someone else. I think that's the smarter advice for sure.
Like, I mean, long-term,
he's probably not going to end up being with this person,
but there's just something about him like being like,
I know I'm going to get hurt, so I won't do this.
I'm like.
Yeah, it's like, but you should just do it.
Right.
And also like, okay,
so they're both going to be together over the summer.
He likes boning her.
They like each other.
She cheated on him, but she was like wasted
i mean and she was in high school i also do feel like being wasted is a good excuse
i really do unless you do it all the time then it's like all right you have to stop drinking
right and if she's like i mean i just don't know if i've ever met a girl in high school that
she'd done her boyfriend drunk at a party and didn't claim to have been taken advantage of, but maybe she was, who knows?
And she admitted it to him, so that's cool.
Yeah, I think...
Just you wanna have fun, right?
What are you gonna resist, having fun?
I would just take the hit.
But I get it, it's gonna be painful.
I've had boyfriends where like, I guess,
I've had boyfriends where I knew they were moving,
so it's like we didn't i knew
we were only gonna be like together for like two months like there's an expiration date to it you
can have some fun in those that's pretty good yeah but then i always it always ends up being like
they move and we try to do long distance for like that's the thing if he if he's if he's aware of
what's coming he knows what's coming then go for it but i don't i don't i think he's trying to be detached but he's not yeah yeah i don't know if you can do it but i'm curious to find out
can't wait to hear when you love someone you give them permission to fuck you up
yeah love is a contact sport so just uh strap your helmet on yeah if you're worried about getting
hurt and literally get in there yeah you can't worry about getting hurt you're gonna get hurt of course you are that's why it's cool do you feel vulnerable in your relation yeah no i do yeah no i i i'm like
totally in love i just have never had a relationship like this i never like wanted i i guess like i had
one boyfriend i thought we would get married but i but it was like really toxic we were not like we
got like notes from the neighbors like they were gonna call the cops on us when you get like the
third one of those you're like are we gonna die yeah i had a girlfriend are we gonna kill it like
are we gonna be dead two dead bodies at some point you know when you're like fighting all the time
with your partner and then you but you have to like walk through their apartment building you
know everyone's just looking at you like there's the psychopath and you just have to like you kind of have to hold your head up like
i don't care if you think i'm a psychopath but there is a part of you that also is like i'd like
to get small right now yeah like this is not good you go to like you're in a fight and then like
your smoothie gets there like oh you gotta go pick it up from postmates yeah um last one sub
solstice of stoke i work super hard to reach internal stoke and it's been sick
for daily life but i'm also a hockey bro and play on my school's team i haven't played much
recently but i always played my best when i was angry and chirping other players to piss them off
being stoked has seriously lessened my shit talking and anger levels while i play
and i wonder if the stoke has taken away some of my edge i still play well and care but i wonder
if i lost a step psychologically from not playing with a huge chip on my shoulder.
What should I do about this conundrum?
Oh, God, you're ruining this guy's career.
Yeah, but let's fix it.
Let's save it right now and get him in the NHL.
If you have teeth by the next episode,
these guys fucked your life up, okay?
Okay.
Just be competitive with yourself fight yourself right i think so i think there's a way to uh talk shit as a happy person to level
upset the opposition and get you fired up it's fun like dude i should be worried and aggressive
towards you but i'm just not threatened by you at all because i'm just having such a nice day
i just wish you could have a day like mine and then you skate by that's a lot to
the happy day approach yeah i just don't care yeah just being blissfully above the people you're
playing against or i don't know maybe just fake it until you make it just go up to the guy like
fuck you you're a bitch i fucking hate you you suck and then and then afterwards you're like
what's up dude that was so fun yeah just tap into it for the game i feel like a lot of professional athletes do that by and large a
lot of them seem happy but they're able to tap into some kind of a aggression yeah or clay thompson
yeah like the anger i do like the anger of an athlete yeah you gotta have that you just gotta
you gotta take the shoulder pads off you know know? Yeah, compartmentalize. Yeah.
Yeah, I like that.
I like being competitive with yourself, too.
Yeah.
But in hockey, you got to fuck some people up. Yeah, you do.
You got to check them.
Yeah, you got to hurt people.
But what if he was, like, cute about it?
He was like, sorry.
Like, if he was like, I don't want to do this.
I would throw them off.
For sure.
I hate hurting you.
As he's, like, slamming them.
He's got to play a character.
Yeah.
He's got to embrace that side of himself, that aggressive side, and then just be stoked
for the rest of the time.
He's getting that out.
He's playing that character of just fucking dudes up.
And then he's happy the rest of the time.
I don't know if this is narcissistic, but it keeps sounding like we're talking about
me doing goddamn comedy jam.
Yeah.
Enter your character.
That's what I was thinking about the entire time
yeah that's so crazy you guys been thinking about me this whole time you know it could be the most
freeing thing you've ever done it could be i should look at it like that as an opportunity
what would jim say
he would say like yeah what what would Jim say?
He would say the only way to get through your fears is to go through them.
And also fear is like leaking your personal power.
It's giving away your ability to manifest and have a good, all the things you want.
I should do it.
Jim just nailed it.
Yeah.
Also to do Last Resort. You should do Last Resort.
I could do Last Resort.
This is my last resort.
But there's almost like,
I think I got to do something that really lends to my voice.
You should do like Good Char.
I think like good lesbian rock
is really where I got to go.
Oh, you should do Bitch.
That one song.
Is it called Bitch?
I'm a bitch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been thinking about
coming up on stage to that too.
You should do Ironic by Alanis Morissette.
These are all songs I want to come up to on my tour.
I've been listening to Head Over Heels a lot by Alanis lately.
I got to say, and even though she's not a lesbian,
it does kind of fit the Lilith Faire vibe.
90s lesbian rock is the most passionate music
you've ever heard in your life.
That was beautiful.
It's number one.
I would put on eyeliner and do AFI or something.
Oh, no, no.
I would love to do Good Show.
No, My Chemical Romance.
I would do My Chemical Romance.
You guys got to get on the show.
You're excited about it.
Now, would you be the director?
I don't know what we'd do.
I'm down for whatever.
I think you'd like to sing.
Yeah.
You do like to sing yeah i'm done you do like to sing i do you like karaoke i do what's your song it used to be genuine pony but then like
it became magic mike and like it just became too ubiquitous so i was doing this billy ocean song
love really hurts without you but i don't really have like the vocals for it so i'm still kind of looking for it ray charles you know you don't know me if we did if we did it together i
think we should get strider and joe and do in sync we i think if we did a boy band that would be so
good yeah no strings it's tearing up best album of all time 2.2 million records in its first week
crazy maybe bye bye bye might have been 2.4. Wait, did you see when Justin Timberlake
sold his music for only $100 million?
Yeah, what was that?
It can't be right.
It makes me sick.
It made me think he was in trouble money-wise.
It made me...
I'm horrified.
He sold his what?
His entire catalog for $100 million.
What does that mean when you sell your catalog?
If someone wants to give it to a commercial,
he's not in charge of that anymore.
Right.
It's crazy. Interesting interesting have some confidence it's crazy it should be he should have gotten so much more money a billion for future sex love sounds it was just so remember how amazing it
was when he that it was he brought sexy back he did right it was insane that fucking album do you
think he's that hot of a dude no right makes it
even better yeah makes him better makes him cooler we were watching the grammys with my family and he
was doing like a gopro angle and my mom was watching and she's like he's not that handsome
and it was like it was crazy to me i was like this justin timberlake well he was so cute
in the in sync days with like the frosted tips. He'd give a wink or whatever.
Yeah.
But I don't think he didn't grow into himself well.
Kind of no guys are hot, though.
That's so true.
Ryan Gosling's kind of ugly.
If you picked up his face, he's kind of like a monster.
A lot of it's attitude, right?
He looks like a fucking monster.
Yeah, I think most guys are gargoyles.
That's disgusting.
But those guys are better looking than, I think most guys are gargoyles. Like if you really think about it. But some guys, but those guys are better looking than like, I don't know, Harry Kravitz, that
like investor from the 80s.
What a weird, who is Harry Kravitz?
He's just some random guy from the 80s.
I know Lenny, I've seen that penis.
His pants split, that was so good.
Oh yeah.
You know when everyone was doing like Photoshop's, like when that first got popular like five
years ago, when everyone was like posting like their show dates were just them photoshopped on something right
i came up with like the best photoshop ever where i had someone photoshop
my my face to the tip of lenny kravitz's penis and then and it got flagged i was like you guys
and then i did when everyone was doing tiger King ones, when everyone was Photoshopping themselves as Tiger King,
I Photoshopped that girl's arm that got bitten off as my penis.
We had her on the pod.
She was great.
Was she?
Yeah.
Very inspiring.
We should do Janet Jackson's nipple.
Oh, yeah.
Janet Jackson's nipple.
It's your face.
Why was that a controversy?
I don't know.
Could anything be less interesting than someone's nipple?
Yeah, I guess it was just the setup of it.
Like, it was shocking.
Like, you didn't know, I think it was Panthers-Patriots, right?
So it was like 03, and then like, he just ripped it off, and you were like, what?
What?
What?
But she had that like nipple thing on.
She had a little, yeah, the nipple was on.
And to me, I always felt like this is not naked.
Right. No. Like, this is not not naked just covering the nipples is not if she would have started the song with it no big deal but it was the way he like ripped it off but then they were
like mad at him and then they were like wardrobe malfunction it's like was it no yeah they why but
why did they plan it i don't know do you know why they did it i don't know why they did it i think
they were being like you in high school they were were just being like, hey, we got to thumb our nose at the powers.
I was like, how did you know I showed my tits so much?
I literally was like, how did he know that?
I was flashing Annie.
I had my nipples pierced in high school.
You were in high school.
My nipples were pierced in high school and they were out.
Dude, when you had a friend who was willing to flash people that made every hang
better like we were driving to vegas one time and my friend i won't say her name but
this car was like making faces oh always like we were like flash them and then she flashed
them and all the guys in the other car were like they were so stunned and we were like yeah we won
yeah we used to do that all the time but then what always happens is you end up getting stuck
next to the person at a light or something follow every time you're like uh or like you're like that guy was a little older than
i should have flashed and they follow you to wherever you're going yeah you're just like
you're like that was a moment it was just a moment i'm sorry i didn't i didn't know we're
gonna fall in love um all right on to the next one annie so we have a segment like uh chunk here
where we do our beef of the week which is something
we're upset at and then we do a babe or legend of the week which is something we're super stoked on
it can be a person place okay and then we do a quote of the week that's it that's it i'm sorry
for not prepping you more but i felt like it would be too much homework i am afraid of homework
i have a homework fear um ch Chad who's your beef of the week
uh
I had trouble counting
for the beef
my beef of the week
I'm just gonna come off
the dome
for this one
um
my beef of the week
my beef of the week
is parking at Erewhon
in WeHo
I fucking
or just valet
I don't like valet
yeah
why
I don't like taking valet
I don't
you know I had to valet yesterday and I had food all over my car I didn't have cash for I don't like valet yeah why i don't like taking valet i don't you know i had to valet
yesterday and i had food all over my car i didn't have cash for it i don't like doing that why i
like i don't like i like when you have the self-park option but in in erwan it's like why
do they have valet erwan yeah this is very local you know to west hollywood but if you don't know
erwan if you don't know erwan you got. Yeah, if you don't know Erewhon.
You got to get with the program.
I just got Erewhon sweatpants.
Oh, you did?
Yeah, I'm excited.
That's awesome.
Big time flex.
Yeah, Erewhon, if you're listening, I'd love a sponsorship.
Are you a member?
Yeah.
I'm a member.
I did a fingerprint thing.
The fingerprint never works for me.
Yeah, you got to really press it.
There's something really fun about going.
Erewhon, if you don't know, is a grocery store that you go and you get like a basket of things and it's like
two thousand dollars and it feels like amazing there's something like we're like thank you for
bringing this experience to my life you get a cookie for ten dollars you're like hell this is
the best cookie ever i think it makes a difference though because like the whole thing it's like
organic it's like good for you and so even though the cookie is like it's like good materials it's
still a cookie but if you think while you're eating it you're like this is good for me still because it's like
organic cane sugar yeah then i think your body responds everyone's hot like everyone's really
hot everyone's really hot it's like so fun to shop with the hot people you're like oh here i am and
like the dude you're behind and like the line you'll just see him on a billboard for like vitamin
water a week later yeah like yeah i knew he was handsome or it's like common i've seen common there really he's common doing here
he's a great guy i was uh how's this jeremy pippen in there a couple weeks ago i was just
gonna say that jeremy pippen i've seen in there a lot yeah were you with him on purpose no you
didn't walk in together no but he had really kind of like but did you walk out together
holding i tried yeah he had kind of anxious energy behind yeah he's very like he seemed like very like on the go yeah and the
line was taking forever because you know when people get in the thing and they actually have
groceries at erwan which is crazy to me yeah but everyone had groceries so it's taking forever so
i get on my phone then like one opens up and he doesn't say anything he's just he just like over
me he's like pointing he's yeah he's like say anything. He's just, he just like over me. He's like pointing.
He's like,
Oh,
people get real mad.
Yeah.
So I pissed off Jeremy Piven.
Now do you,
are you a hot bar guy?
Yes.
Yeah.
The hot bar,
it's just amazing food in it.
It's weighed.
They don't tell you that it's weighed.
So you just,
they just give you a thing and then they ring it up and it's like,
Oh,
this is $60.
Yeah.
Like, Oh, you want Korean short ribs? you're like oh that sounds delicious and they actually are so good the korean short ribs are so banging the carnitas are the best oh um but yeah my beef is
one time i had like for some reason had to get valet there i'm like why am i tipping you know i don't know but parking there just
pisses me off i have a beef with valet just because my new tesla has two like scrapes on
each side and i did not do it and my boyfriend did not do it you don't lie to me so it's like
one of the valets did that to my car at some point i just didn't notice yeah is that your
beef of the week or do you have another beef? No pressure.
I'll think of something you're trying to.
My beef of the week is I stopped watching porn like 30 days ago,
which is how I used to soothe myself when I was feeling anxious.
And in place of that, I've tried meditation and other healthier alternatives.
But it's made me crazy emotional.
I've just been crying, crying a ton.
And then I get tired of crying and I like punch my counter because I'm just like, well, I need
to feel something else cathartic, but I'm tired of crying. And it's good. It's growth. It's healthy,
but it's painful. I like that you're not crying watching the porn. That's worse.
I never cried while watching porn porn i was just always too stoked
but and is it the feeling of being too stoked that's why you have to take it out of your life
because you're like it gives you too much pleasure yeah and it was it was it just was not healthy
yeah yeah are you guys do you guys smoke weed or no i do you do i smoke ganja i did for the first
time in like eight years like a month ago and. I had fun. Did you do more?
I'm going to do more.
Yeah.
But I like being sober.
I like clarity.
Yeah.
Do you drink?
Here and there.
I go out to Vegas and I'll party hard here and there.
Yeah, Vegas is really just a fun place.
Yeah.
I'm telling you, Special K is what to do in Vegas.
What's Special K?
Ketamine.
Ketamine is-
Can you do anything? I feel like you'd just be laying on the couch. No, no, no. You're do in Vegas. Ketamine? Ketamine. Ketamine is... Can you do anything?
I feel like you'd just be
laying on the couch.
No, no, no.
You're just in it.
You're zoned in.
Everyone that I went with
thought that they got
really, really good at roulette.
They're like zoned in.
Like fucking...
They saw the Matrix.
They saw the Matrix.
I do feel that way.
I love gambling
and I just win. I'm a winner. matrix. I do feel that way. I love gambling and I just win.
I'm a winner.
Nice.
I don't accept loss.
You'll stay until you turn it?
I know.
I think I'm good at...
I know when something good's going to happen.
Oh, nice.
You seem to be very in touch with your higher spiritual self that is meant for...
I got a couple shamans....abund for uh i got a couple shamans abundance
i got a couple of you know ayahuasca i've done ayahuasca six times really yeah did it change
your life it did it was like it was like 30 years of therapy was like really cool
and then the new shaman i'm working with is like do not do hallucinogens and i'm like really just
for you or in general um i think for the people he works with just because he okay so when he was he was born in mexico and he started working as a shaman
like he was born into it and so when he was 13 they gave him all of the hallucinogens for like
nine i think it was 90 days or nine weeks or something some nine involved and so he just took
every hallucinogen and was just completely and he said there was like 51 of these like master
shamans had to help him come back and stuff and he's like it's just it's just such a powerful
medicine that that you just need people to like bring you back and he said that uh he now has the portal to all those
places and he can in dream time he can take me to all those places so where do you find shamans
i found him through jim ford and google yeah but like i my ayahuasca shaman he was in the
in the audience at um the comedy store once in the main room. Oh, cool. And it was a whole thing.
It was really weird.
Have you done ayahuasca?
No, but I love all that stuff.
I want to find a shaman.
I want to lick a toad and do all that shit.
Yeah, I know.
I never did the frog one.
Yeah, my buddy Matt, he licks toads.
That sounds cool.
He's a very happy dude.
Yeah.
No, it is pretty cool stuff.
I mean, you kind of are just like,
stop caring about stuff
because you're like,
the stuff you're worrying about
is not a thing.
Yeah.
That sounds good.
But some of us use porn for that.
Yeah, but ayahuasca sounds cooler.
Now, do you have the urge
to watch porn
and then you have to like...
No, I haven't had the urge that bad.
Maybe one or two nights
it's been...
Is this a
forever thing or you're just like i'm gonna go 60 days um i haven't committed one way or the other
just gonna push it as long as i can and see what happens did your girlfriend ask you to stop
watching it or no i volunteered yeah but uh i did tell her about it but yeah no i didn't she didn't
I did tell her about it, but no, she didn't mandate it or nothing.
Yeah, I've never been like a jealous of porn person.
I think she was more like, well, what is it? Yeah, what does it all mean?
Which is totally valid.
Well, it could like make you weird.
It can make you sexually weird if you're used to watching it all the time.
And then you are just a cuck.
Yeah.
Oh, I was into like cuckling stuff too.
Oh, okay.
And then were you starting to get into that in real life?
I would dirty talk about it, but no, I would never actually do it in real life.
I just how excited I got.
We're going to get to the cuck of this problem.
The crux.
No, I think I'd lose my mind in real life.
It's weird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It sounds stressful.
But I'm like happy for people if they find their thing and their thing is to watch their
girl get pounded out.
That is nice. They found each other happy for people if they find their thing and their thing is to watch their girl get pounded out. That is nice.
They found each other.
Yeah.
Like that is good.
Like if you find the right thing.
It's going to freak out nine out of 10.
So good for you for finding that one.
But they got like Thrinder and all of those.
Have you guys gone on any of the kinky ones?
The kinky apps?
Thrinder?
No, just Hinge guy.
Yeah.
What is Hinge?
What's the thing with Hinge?
I think it's just the best of all of them because they, I don't know, it seems to connect you with the most normal people. Yeah. What is that? What's the thing with Hinge? I think it's just the best of all of them because they, I don't know, it seems to connect you with the most normal people.
Yeah. I did like, I did Raya once, twice. I went on two Raya dates. And then one Bumble. They were all just wild experiences.
One was with this like sort of famous musician and
that was kind of cool that was like fun to go on a date with him like what band like life house or
something he's a it's just it's just him i don't want to say his name because i want to be able to
just kind of lightly talk shit for the rest of my life about it but that got me because he was
really like we went on a date and he didn't live here
he was like working on a he like did the direct message to me which that's the move right where
he like paid to go straight into my dms and then we had like he had been brought up quaker so we
like had that in common so we went to quaker meeting together which was just kind of funny
because who wants to go to church tay Taylor, but I thought it was funny.
It's cute.
And we had like a fun date.
And then we didn't make out or anything, but it was like very like touchy and like, oh, I want to see you again and stuff.
And then lots of texting and then never hanging out again.
It was so annoying.
I was like, just let me free.
What are you doing?
That is weird.
Just a lot of texting forever.
It was like for so long. Really? And then finally i just had to be like i am out so i was like do you want to hang out or
not like what the hell is this people are weird yeah sometimes they just want that engagement
like a little bit of attention which i guess is fine there's no harm in it it's understandable
but it feels bad to be functionalized that way it's just weird it's just what it's a little bit
of a waste of uh time he would like i left my like sunglass he would always like send me pictures of
my sunglasses i'm like do you want to give them to me or you can keep them it's like do why what
are you doing it was just weird because i was like do you want are you trying to get me to be
like very aggressive or what it was very weird it was like you know i think a lot of being like
anxious attached is like uh you're like constantly trying to like figure out what other people want i'm just
like then eventually i was like oh i just don't want this this is annoying yeah this text messaging
is so fucking annoying and then i accidentally facetimed him once was so embarrassing but i
actually was at a point where i wasn't that embarrassed but i just like hit facetime
like when does that happen?
No, maybe your subconscious was driving you to that mistake.
And then he like texted me and I just like, you know, turn it off.
And then he texted me and was like, I'm touring in Mexico.
What's up?
And then I just never responded.
I would have bragged.
I like braggies, though.
It's nice when it's real.
Yeah.
But I just was like, I'm'm done who's your beef of the week
my beef of the week is that is that guy why are you texting me bitch yeah come on i bet you i
could get him to start texting me every day again there's just so much texting what do you want
what do you want don't be wasting my text time what would he text you like hey how's it going
like a picture of something like he texted
me like um like the city hall and like philly like the the like guy on top and it like looked
like he had a boner he like would text me like almost like really mean that was me he didn't
take that photo himself and he sent me like i was like why don't you want to hang out like i one time i was like what i was like at the ice house and he was recording in pasadena
and i was like do you want to come to my show and he was like i'm busy or whatever and i'm like
jesus christ i'm like dude i just are around the corner or whatever and then um wait where was my
point of this he sends you memes he sent me oh and then i was like you're like fucking weird
dude i don't know where she's like i'm also an artist i'm not trying to take you away from your
work it's weird that you keep saying you want to hang out and then not hanging out and he was like
um he's then he sent me a picture of a kid in a virgin's rule shirt and i was like okay why don't
you use your words dude you only speak in memes he was. He was like 45. I'm like, you're a grown up.
Yeah. Communicate, bro.
And it's weird. I do hear his music a lot now. I feel like it's almost like more.
Ooh, exciting.
I always go to Todd because I bought Todd before I was dating Todd. I was just, he was like the young kid I was friends with. So I would go out to Mel's with him and like complain about dudes. So I had been complaining to him right before we started dating about this fucking musician.
I'm like,
what the hell is wrong with this guy?
And then,
so when I was just friends with Todd,
I got him one of his shirts as a joke,
like sent to the comedy store.
And then we had started hooking up
like in the interim of that getting sent.
So then I just sent my new boyfriend
like the shirt of like the merch
of like a guy I had been into before him.
We just have that shirt in our house somewhere.
Chad, who's your favorite legend of the week?
My legend of the week is the...
I was trying to find it on Twitter.
I was watching it this morning.
The dudes who sang the Chili song.
Have you guys seen this?
No.
It's a group of dudes
who are so talented
who made the chili song.
You guys know Baby Back Ribs?
I want my baby back ribs.
All right, here we go.
Look at these dudes.
Wow. aren't they legends it's good stuff this is really good stuff they really know what they're doing
and uh yeah it's funny those their commitment to their craft is inspiring and i want to give a big shout out that reminds me of
hold on jt you want to do your legend real quick sure uh my legend of the week is chigas the guy
that helped us oh nice um he was very awesome really nice guy and i told jt this earlier but
it was nice to kind of have a guy like in my right pocket where like if I ever felt something was out of
place like he would just reassure me yeah and then also I drove back with him
from San Clemente and I gotta learn a lot about him cool and I'm like he's
super knowledgeable about cameras which is always cool to me because I'm also
decently knowledgeable about it and yeah I just want to give a shout out to him
thanks for helping me out and yeah camera bros and i think like it's a good relationship to have
like i told him in the future if i ever have a job where i need an extra hand he would be the
guy that i would reach out to so thank you guys for setting it up and shout out to you little
yentas little work yentas i love that this is who that reminds me of
that band
do you guys remember the where in the world
is Carmen Sandiego song
the Rockefellers
yeah
hooves
hooves
hooves
hooves
well she sneaks around the world from New York to Carolina Sticky finger?
Ew, she's a lesbian.
Carmen's a lesbian!
She's been hiding inside a woman.
Who are those dudes?
Those are the Rockapellas.
Oh, the Rockapellas.
They bring it.
Let me find a picture of them.
Oh, yeah. Oh, it's a greatas. They bring it. Let me find a picture of them. Oh, yeah.
Oh, it's a great looking group of guys.
Give me a sec.
Do you have a legend?
Yeah, my dad.
He's a tank.
Cool.
He's been sick.
He got another clean bill of health for the next four months.
And then I've been stressed out lately.
And I was like, hey, I'm going to go.
He's like, you need to get away and go do something. I was like, I'm doing a silent retreat. And then I've been stressed out lately and I was like, hey, I'm going to go. He's like, you need to get away
and like go do something.
I was like,
I'm doing a silent retreat
and he went,
he did the jacking off
and I'm like,
come on.
Which is ironically
the thing you literally
can't get caught doing.
Right.
I was like,
that's what I'm not allowed to do,
Why are you doing it?
I don't know.
I just think it'd be good.
I talk so much.
I think it'd be good
to be silent for a bit.
I feel the same way,
but it's scary.
Do you know,
there are like 10 days
that have been possible
I'm only going for three
you're gonna go for three
are you signed up
I am
at a place that I did
very little research on
and that I have no idea
what I'm walking into
but I'm excited
oh my god
scared
you're scared
you get terrified
that's so exciting
I wanna do that too
it'll be fun
I've never shut up
I know me neither
I'm excited to see
what it feels like everyone's like do you smoke I know me neither I'm excited to see what it feels like
everyone's like do you smoke
I'm like no I just talk all the time
that's my drug
what's your
who's your baby legend of the week
um
my baby legend of the week
who was the best recently
um
let me look at my text
who's been the best
Anthony Jasenik no
are you buddies with him
he wants to he wanted to
me to send him my hypnotist
oh really yeah
my hypnotist my hypnotist is the best
I'm doing the reason I had to do this earlier oh
i'm missing my class already that's okay i talk a lot um i'm doing a hypnosis class with her where
i'm like learning how to do it oh cool oh you're learning how to be a hypnotist yeah and she's got
like a bunch of students in it she's like a fucking badass she's the best marilu rodriguez
she really helped me change my life it's really cool but she's really cool she does a lot she's funny she's cool she's neat
so do you think she'd be able to teach me how to be hypnotized i think so i'll ask her about that
in class today yeah someone that is like it's failed for them before yeah i think you just
need someone who's really confident that you trust right you didn't trust that guy no it felt weird
and he was lecturing you said right he was kind
of being well that's his thing he like lectures you and he tells you how terrible smoking is for
you and then but then he like he'll like drink water every like minute to like get you in a
trance but that was just kind of like i was thrown off by his tan but also the thing he had a tan
oh by the way I'm really pissed
I don't have a fake tan on I really wanted to have
I love spray tans and like this is the place
that I really wanted to have one
yeah this is the pod to do it
I hope you have me back because
our tour is called the stay tan tour
yeah I love it but I like that
you guys real tan
that's really
bold in these times gotta do it you gotta keep it you gotta keep it happening are you fan of liver
king no okay liver king never mind i'll look into it he's like a big personality on the internet
and he um espouses a primal life yeah he's always talks about getting the sun on the face the hair of
the eyes getting your feet grounded to the earth every morning he's deep tan
but his whole thing is you know when people talk about skin cancer and stuff which you know
i'm starting to question although i was eating like vegetable oils or seed oils while i was
in hawaii but their whole thing is like the reason we sunburn is because of what we're eating these Although I was eating vegetable oils or seed oils while I was in Hawaii.
But the whole thing is the reason we sunburn is because of what we're eating these days.
That can't be true.
Is that true?
Canola oil, seed oils, they're creating this reaction in our body.
So it allows us to burn more.
Wow.
Something like that.
And have you found that to be true? He is a king.
I love him. he's my babe i've found that my uh sunburns aren't as deep and i don't peel shallow ones yeah but i also
did get sun allergies now i'm but i was also eating seed oils so you gave it to yourself
yeah okay so with the hypnosis though so the way i understand
hypnosis is that you have the identity of someone who's a smoker yeah so you identify as a smoker
as a nicotine addict as someone that likes nicotine that wants nicotine so if he's just
lecturing you that's not even like speaking to the part of you yeah like you need to get into
your subconscious and like identify as someone that doesn't smoke. Yeah.
As someone that, you know.
Oh, that's interesting.
Yeah.
I've said, oh, that's interesting.
Because I got hypnotized because I'm not making you laugh.
Because I didn't crush it.
You're crushing it.
That actually is really interesting now.
Like just the thought pattern of like, oh.
Well, you're going to just keep, it's all habits. It's not not like who you are like you're not a smoker but you in your head
think you're a smoker you think you're a nicotine addict yeah well i've i've been off it for two
months now and now i don't even think about it yeah but i think a lot of it had to do with a
shift in my mindset of like because before when i would quit i would be like okay i'm gonna i'm
gonna get back into it you know i'm gonna i'm gonna get back
into it you know i'm gonna reward myself after like three months and stuff but now i don't have
that anymore yeah that's like it's my reward kind of thing so now i don't even think about it yeah
it is weird because like with weed i just wasn't smoking it was doing great and then i was like
let's dive back in baby yeah and then three days in a row just the highest i've ever
been in my life let's think it's like if you're like healthy never been higher yeah if you're i
wake up like in my makeup like my shoes are on i'm like my mouth guard's like over there i'm like oh
my jaw hurts what am i doing if you're if you're like healthy for a while it's that like need as
a human being to to get some like vices going yeah but also i think it's about
not making it like a big deal that you're doing it yeah if you make it a big deal then you're like
i think i lean into it more right so i'm just like it's cool i smoke weed it's cool that i
woke up in my fucking clothes fucking cool i'm the legend i'm my legend are you your legend of the week i'm my own legend
of the week because i have a tesla i believe a ton purse brand new still has the wrapper on it
um all right do you have fun yeah it was fun what a weird end we're supposed to do a quote
of the week quote of the week. Quote of the week.
Oh my God, you really didn't.
I'm sorry.
I know.
I guess I brought up the sunscreen.
Dude, I was going to do my quote of the week is, don't worry about the future or worry,
but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never cross your worried mind.
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idleuesday the last line is do one thing every day that scares you like singing in
the goddamn comedy jam guys i'm gonna do it and i'm gonna crush it i actually will to crush it
yeah of course the only way i fail is if i think i'm gonna fail no choice but to crush
yeah i'm gonna crush it it's to be the best. Look out for that.
Come to Mexico, guys, and see me before I run out.
Do you have a quote, Chad?
Barbecue sauce.
I have a quote.
Yeah.
The truth is hard to swallow when you're choking on your pride. For some reason, this whole week, I've been listening to this song,
and for some reason, that lyric sticks into my mind say it one more time the truth is hard to
swallow when you're choking on your pride so it's kind of like i don't know i feel that yeah i don't
know why it keeps attaching to me i feel that in my bones are you dipping uh it's zins they're
tobacco or nicotine pouches we're this bastard right in front of you i know i'm terrible i have i have a quote ready yeah cut my life into pieces you know i was about to fucking do it
this is my life okay i'll do duality then i'll do duality i push my fingers into my eyes
fuck i forget the rest of the song that's powerful though i will tell you this though wait papa roach papa roach when i saw
them so i met them on a heavy metal cruise that's awesome and then oh i bombed so hard to suck we
were bound i was like and we're friends for life um but i uh heavy metal cruise yeah that sounds
awesome you booked on it or you i was booked on it voluntarily that's awesome no
i was booked on it and i can't wait i want to do it again i have to relive it because i i did really
i tanked did nothing better than a metal concert it was so fun so fun but so then i went and saw
them live i went like hung backstage with them when they were at the Roxy a couple years ago it was like yeah it was like 2019 and I learned a lot
really Jacoby was up there he was like he's like LA we love you and he like painted a heart and I
was like with his fingers and I was like damn I really like go on stage like mad at the audience
I was like I really was like thinking the audience was gonna hate me like i was like going at it all wrong so i started like kind of doing that sometimes and then like and then uh
he also was like when we can't this is my quote okay this is jacoby lead singer of uh
of papa roach at a live concert at the roxy in 2019 he's like la we love you
when we first came here 20 years ago
all we got were no's
but the work starts at no
that's my quote
that's so inspiring
they're the best
let's go
well that's a good place
to end it
thanks guys
guys listen to
Trash Tuesday
or watch it
sometimes we dress up
it's on YouTube
all the other platforms
it's fun
it's me and my two girlfriends
we talk shit we laugh I make fun of them and then i have my solo podcast coming back and i
have a spotify interactive show coming out but it's like you know what i mean so it'll be like
it's all audio but i can bring people from the audience i'm just gonna fuck with people that's
fun that's awesome yeah it'll be fun every monday night well thank you so much follow my instagram
i just got on TikTok.
Follow my TikTok.
Annie Letterman on Instagram.
Annie Letterman on Instagram.
Annie Letterman on TikTok.
AnnieLetterman.com slash shows.
Come see me live.
Things get crazy.
Fuck you, Eddie. If you need advice
These guys are really nice
You wanna know
What to do and where to go
When you need someone to guide you
Just let them have the pros beside you
Go with me
Go with me Let's go Go with me Let's go deep
Go with me
Try to take deep