Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 250 - Strider Joins
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All right, what's up Stokers?
Before we begin this podcast, I want to let you know that we are on tour.
We're going on tour.
We're going to be in the Carolinas, North Carolina, South Carolina.
We're going to be in Nashville, Chicago, Hawaii, Las Vegas, New York, Boston.
We just added a new Boston date on November 8th.
Get your tickets now at chatandjt.com.
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deep at manscape.com it's smooth sack summer boys get on board or get left behind put your ass on
the trigger and spread out the ponzu what's up stokers of stoke nations it's chad kroger coming in with the going deep
chat jt podcast me with my compadre jean thomas what up boom clap stokers and we're here with the
fuck i didn't even think of a name for you we're here with the um with the sar of the dart
oh the russian dart dude i mean you've gone more from a relationship guy to a straight up tea dart Tsar of the dart. Ooh. The Russian dart, dude.
I think you've gone more from a relationship guy
to a straight up T-dart guy.
I appreciate that.
I mean, it's the foundation of the relationship.
So we're just getting right to it.
I like that.
So thank you.
And you can always rely on dart.
I mean, that is my call name.
Right.
That's our fighter jet call name.
So fired up to be here, my fucking dogs, dude.
Yeah, it's good to have be here my fucking dogs let's go
dudes it's sort of like a you know for like top gun it's sort of like they're doing call signs
like hangman you know he's the best but he'll leave you out to dry yes and it's like who are
you i'm dart dart look i'll take you out to dinner but i'm gonna want to dart you know
look i'll uh i'm a committed guy i want to get to know you i want to meet your
parents uh or get along with my mother-in-law but we're gonna need to dart so what's that
let me show you what are you talking about here's a little preview
dude they put that in top gun that's in in Top Gun. You're just holding a pool cue.
You're just out of dirt.
It's just like you get like a dog fight.
You're like, smoke in the air, smoke in the air.
I do the goose piano song, but just with my tongue, dude.
Goodness gracious.
Great tongues of fire.
Yeah, I'm a pervert that was my other call sign pervert uh but uh you know upper brass didn't like it dude we got jack on the sticks
today what up dude jack runs the socials Doug, how'd you play on Saturday?
Dude, played pretty well.
Yeah, we had the scramble.
It was fun, dude.
Played pretty solid.
The driver was not on point, but luckily, shout out to Joe, dude.
Beast.
Not Mauricio, our other boy, Joe Pelazon.
He's huge off the tee.
Massive, dude.
The guy.
He's got a strong butt.
We talked about it before, but you can feel it in his swing,
all that compact power.
I bought the driver that he hits thinking that it would make me hit it that far.
No, I don't hit it that far.
Who's on your squad?
Me, Joe, Jimmy, and then this guy, John.
Great guy.
Just met John.
Hilarious dude. He biffed one, and it didn't go past the reds, and I was like,
got to take your dick out, dude. You know, classic stuff. Then on the next tee box,
he literally was going to start taking his dick out. It's like 1 PM and Jimmy's like, no, no.
He didn't know the other guys in the group. That's a cool dude.
It was great, dude. Great dude. So really fun. How'd you play? I heard you hit some killer shots.
I was shooting pretty good. I mean, I showed up a little late. I went to the wrong golf course.
That's on time. That's standard. When we play golf, we know JT's showing up.
If he shows up before hole three, he's early.
I was running down the course trying to catch up to the team
because I felt bad because it's scramble.
You need every shot.
You're not just affecting your own score.
But it was two courses, so I was running down the wrong one.
But then Greg swung back and gave me a lift.
He's a beast.
And it's tough. We're in Griffith Park park there's three courses there everyone's made that mistake
do you play with alex kim is worth like five strokes for your score because he's so smart
like he knows exactly the right club choice he can read the breaks of the green he knows the
order that we should go in for best strategy yes Yes. It's really like having a great point guard out there.
He just sets the table.
He does.
He's so good.
He's won it.
This was the first one.
This is the fourth one.
He's won three, the first three.
I know.
I was bummed out.
I guess they made his team bad this year so that he would lose.
I have to be full disclosure.
I had a hand in that.
I did have a hand in that.
You just had a hand in that?
Yeah.
I was talking to Jimmy who runs it.
Huge shout out to Jimmy. Guy's a legend. Yeah. He sets the whole thing Yeah, I was talking to Jimmy who runs it. And huge shout out to Jimmy.
Guy's a legend.
Yeah, he sets the whole thing up.
20 guys out there at the golf course.
Unreal, the Jellyman, good shit.
A lot of tee times to set up.
Yeah, that's no joke.
It's stressful, dude.
I don't even want to make my own tee time.
And we were talking and we go,
we got to give Alex guys that don't play golf.
Or like the last time they played was the scramble
and we did that and then we're like but we can't really hurt them that bad so we got to give them
JT who's his like number two because JT is good but you just don't have the passion no I think
golf should be 12 holes I think it should be six aside by the time I get to hole 13 I'm like taking
shots off I'm like all right yeah let's just
keep driving yes yes yeah like if you're on a scramble you get a good driver like do i really
need to hit it let's go yeah exactly i'm like let's save it it's fun though good good times
the best bertolino was out there dude guy's a beast bertolino's the best man he's the man
he's the man yeah him and my brother were in the same cart that made my heart sing i was like
two good guys strolling together that was a beautiful thing dude chris is the man. Yeah, him and my brother were in the same cart. That made my heart sing. I was like two good guys strolling together.
That was a beautiful thing.
Dude, Chris is the man out there.
He's good.
He's great, dude.
Yeah, he's a cool guy.
Yeah.
And his game, like has he ever taken a golf lesson?
I think he has.
Okay, okay.
I think he's done some of the YouTube stuff too.
He goes down rabbit holes with it.
He can do that with anything now.
Yeah.
I haven't taken a lesson in years though.
They always change your swing it's true i
did that with flying 737s you never know what do you mean you didn't take classes no i just watched
on youtube i want to be able to i want to be able to fly you know what i mean yeah you never know
did you play flight simulator when you were a kid you play flight simulator yes absolutely it was
hard it's like a hard game i see this i keep seeing this video game out there that uh i think
it's flight simulator or something but it looks so fun because people are recreating like top gun
two scenes in it whoa yeah there's a lot of buttons you had to you had to be aware of too
many things it wasn't really a kid's game like i played as a kid but it wasn't you yeah i don't
like complicated flying games no i like starfox Star Fox. Just give me the ability to barrel roll and shit like that.
Correct.
Star Fox was fun, dude.
And Drost's enemy is my enemy.
Falco.
Oh, yeah.
Dude, good character.
Dude, Falco's such a douche.
He was a douche, yeah.
The Schmoll.
He was the Schmoll of that group.
He was Hangman.
Slippy was the Schmoll.
Oh, I don't even remember.
Slippy was nice.
Slippy was the frog.
Slippy was nice, but Slippy didn't bring much to the table.
You're right.
You're right.
Starfox just carrying the team on his back and then Falco getting pissed.
Totally.
He was just like the older curmudgeon.
Yeah.
Dude, we were acting a lot yesterday.
It was fun.
It was fun.
Yeah.
I'm learning a lot.
Oh, yeah.
About sitcom acting.
You got to be loud.
Yeah.
That sandbox.
Different stakes in that sandbox. Bigger. Right. You got gotta be bigger than you think you gotta bring it it's it's sort of like uh
you you play it real but you amp it but you're acting real so it's like the you're acting real
for the camera so it's like so the audience can really kind of understand i don't everything
really easily.
And if you shoot like two minutes of dialogue in the show that someone actually watches,
that takes three hours.
And you shoot it from like 20 different, three cameras.
You shoot it from like nine different angles.
If there's any movement, you have to set up again.
Yeah.
And then sometimes you'll do your best take.
Yeah.
And then you look around and go, there wasn't a camera on me that day. Yes.
It's kind of like in high school sports, you know, when someone would...
I think this exists everywhere.
Jack, you can tell me if it's in PA.
But like our high school was on Antonio, the street Antonio.
And if someone was good in practice but not good in games
and like was one of those over-the-top people
who was like trying to dominate when it didn't matter,
you'd call them all Antonio.
Oh, that's amazing.
That's in acting too.
I'm like take zero.
I dominate the takes that aren't being filmed.
I just bring them.
And then the moment the camera's on me, I'm like,
but I've gotten better.
I've gotten a lot better, which has been really fun.
You will, but there's all that mantra,
practice like you play, baby.
So that'll happen.
That'll happen.
You'll get there.
Yeah, I was watching like clips from,
uh,
parks and rec too.
And after like shooting stuff,
you'll see scenes like where they have like a water fight in the office and
people are getting sprayed with shit.
I'm like,
how the fuck,
how much time did that take?
There's one scene where raw,
where,
uh,
Chris Pratt has all these like water balloons tied to him.
And he like gives,
uh, Rob Lowe
a bear hug. He's like,
kamikaze!
It gets him all wet. I'm like, dude, how many takes was that?
Probably a lot.
How much drying off did you have to do?
That's a lot of shit.
I noticed yesterday too, we were in a bar
scene and there was like 50 people in the background.
The background actors are so good.
They have to fake talk silently and there was like 50 people in the background the background actors are so good they're good they have to fake talk silently yeah and i was watching them during takes and i was
like that guy's so good at fake talking yeah background no whispering i can hear you son
yeah sexy ad oh yeah that guy's hot that guy's i copied him i got a pair of the panties did you
really oh yeah i was like i was like what kind of pants are those he's like cotton ons i was like i showed up i didn't wear them to sex i didn't want to we had that story
i was gonna say bro this is this is high praise yeah yeah i'm not gonna fucking flex on i'm not
gonna flex on your style on set but because you're a good guy yeah yeah yeah just show up wearing
like dude i got your pants totally you wear a wig you look just like how am i supposed to how am i supposed to assistant direct
when you're cramping my style yeah it'd be all in his head he's cool he had a microphone too
and he got to tell everyone oh yeah yeah he let me borrow the mic for a second which was thrilling
i got to say everybody back to one oh yeah because i was loopy as shit yesterday i was like i started going crazy but in a fun way how long was the day
18 hours or something 12 12 solid i could do that every day it's the best it's really fun
and if it's a project that you like if it's like it's something you're excited about it's really
funny and fun and rob lowe's really fun to watch he's cracking he's making me break um he's so good
yeah the way he can improvise lines yeah because like everyone thinks like or i thought at least
like you could just improvise dialogue and you know be funny but like it has to fit oh and it's
like 22 minute episodes so there's only like so much space to improvise yeah and he finds the
perfect places to put that in totally it's pretty crazy yeah dude
i was in an acting class and like we were doing finishing the scene and working on like clever
buttons and i was like i'm improv guy i'm gonna do a good job dude i went on this like way too
long of a button like invoked like a grandpa character that wasn't in the script and all
this stuff and afterwards the teacher like watched me doing he's like probably just like one or two
words i was like oh dude yeah there's a guy literally like you when someone sings the national anthem
bad and you sink in your seat like i felt one of the when my classmates just be like oh yeah it's
bad dude yeah i was uh i uh i was on one yesterday too and i i i felt how you can become a diva
because me and one of the other
actors our vapes both died and then we're like do you think we can ask someone from the crew to go
buy us amazing bro and i was dead serious i was like dude if we do it together it's like we'll
be divas together and it won't seem as bad and he was like i don't know if i want to do that man i
was like no no we should do it we should do it and then sean who's like uh the other star of the show
who's really cool she's like our like i've I've now placed her as my mentor, whether she likes it or not.
She's my mentor.
And I was like, Sean, do you think I can go ask someone to give me a vape?
And she was like, absolutely not.
And I was like, all right, fair enough.
Amazing, dude.
That's the thing, too, is like you have so much, you're in like a position of power.
So if you were to be like, hey, can you get me a vape?
You can't be like a bro and be like, fuck you,'d be like oh yeah yeah i could do that you know it's totally
they will do it they will do it it might yeah but you see you have to have some restraint and be
like you know i just have to do zins for the rest of the day you just gotta have that in like get to
the level of when you have your own trailer and then you say there will be a pack of Guava Ice vapes in my trailer
at all times. So no one has to
run and get it. It's just already there.
The dream, bro.
It's the best.
For me, I'd go with Cherry Ice.
Okay, baby.
Hey, to each his own.
That's why we have different riders.
That's why we have different riders.
If I ever got good enough at this thing too where they were just giving me carte blanche,
I'd have it written into all my characters that they vape on camera.
That'd be nice.
That'd be nice.
Just picture the Godfather, but everybody's vaping.
It's realistic.
It was funny, too.
I was so bad at first that after our first take, the director, Jay Chana Shakar, from
Super Troopers, great guy.
After our first take, he just looks atana shakar from super she was great guy after our first take he just looks at me goes have you done much acting no way dude oh bro he didn't mean it
as an insult he was just being like he's very like plain spoken he was just being like being
observant he was trying to be like how am i gonna have to work with he was just checking he was just
like have you acted before i was like not really dude i was like it it the
message was received too i was like okay i have to improve some stuff because people don't really
tell you what you're doing wrong they just kind of they give you notes they give you like notes
but they're more like try it again and then from that you have to kind of yeah uh interpret it's
tough and there's etiquette like there's been times where and you guys have done
much more than i have but like where someone's trying to give me a note this is mainly like
doing some sketch stuff and like there's a thing where you never would give an actor a reading like
if they give you a reading that's very disrespectful that's faux pas but sometimes i'm like dude just
give me the fucking reading and i'll just i'll just regurgitate i think actors get very sensitive
about that yeah i wouldn't get that. Jay will say it.
Because he acts too.
He'll just say how it's supposed to be said.
That's nice.
I've been in an audition where the director will give you a line.
They're like, don't be offended.
But he likes to give line readings.
I'm like, why would I get it?
I think just some people get pretentious.
Check your part at the door.
You're just doing a job.
Tell me how to do the job especially for comedy it's like for comedy it's like a lot of times that
they just need a specific thing to serve the joke and i i could see like for drama where that'd be
like if they give you a line for drama i'd be like well i kind of have to feel it so you know
it's like you know what i mean but for but for comedy it's like especially sitcom it's so precise where they're just like this is the joke this is the intention this serves us you
know what i mean it's just like i'm like just tell me what to do yeah it is nice yeah you had a badass
moment where they were like telling you to uh i saw you do like a different style i'm sorry for
all that oh guys but like uh there i chad had to come out the door and check on me after I go through an accident.
Yeah.
And I think they were like, you got to be badass.
And Chad came through the door and it was like, he looked like fucking Sly Stallone
and like Rambo.
Let's go.
What did they do to you?
Yeah.
They told you to like mask it up or something.
You got to make it more badass.
And then he came out and they were like, what did they do to you?
I was like, whoa.
Dude, you weren't acting when you did that dude
that was just badass
I was yelling at Rob Lowe
that was cool I got to be rude to Rob Lowe in character a couple
times yeah which was fun
I feel like I'm getting paid to yell at Rob Lowe all day
that's great dude and then dude you're
oh yeah
dude commercial spot
I didn't even know that it was on
commercial acting guys different beast you know it's uh no you're like a bartender in it yeah i'm a yeah i'm a beer
delivery guy dude fucking great role dude friday beers bros shout out legends they're like dude do
you want to be a dude who delivers beer i'm like of course i do are you kidding me yeah i saw that
pop up i got so far there's gonna be i know i didn't even know that it was gonna pop up, I guess, so far. There's going to be... I know. I didn't even know that it was going to pop up or play on ESPN in SportsCenter, which
was really cool.
And there's going to be an Instagram version where it's a little bit more fun at the end.
That was the tame TV version.
Well, that's great.
I mean, Friday beers are doing national TV spots.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I texted Max.
I was like, dude, nice.
Fucking nice. I know. It it's insane they're moguls
yeah they really are dude yeah they have like good business sense yeah dude i've been watching
you guys watch rusty's beer reviews oh you were telling me about it that dude it's fucking
hilarious he'll drink he drank like eight four locos yeah and then you see the progress i saw
one where he's like four he's like four loc because he's like his eyes just get more and more dangerous yeah he's putting his whole fucking ass on the
line with those things yeah you got to respect the hell out of that he ate like 12 hot dogs too
i think one time or something it was gnarly yeah yeah it is i'd like to do one of those
just house 12 yeah with rusty we can do that right now dude dude yeah something over here dude
that'd be fun dude what would you eat 12 of right now or drink 12 of right now creme brulees
that would change your day dude you could power through what we could do is like try the cheesecake
factory dessert menu that would be amazing we would throw throw up. We would throw up. Yeah, if we could eat every dessert on the Cheesecake Factory menu.
Yeah.
Even if we shared it all.
Yeah.
We would throw up.
It's better to boke.
When you eat too much and you get that distended belly and you have to like lay on your back
like a fat animal and you're just like.
Yes.
Dude, I don't think I could boke.
No, you would boke, dude.
I don't think I have the time for that now.
I don't think it takes a lot for me to.
You would want to pull the trigger.
You'd probably want to gag yourself. I did this show a long time ago with this dude called la beast and
he was known for eating stuff bro he eats a little cactus with the spikes he ate that like
that was unreal then he ate like 42 raw eggs with the shells this is in one half hour show yeah then
he ate like 12 ghost peppers or something like that
like a ton of ghost peppers did all that right and like people like this is insanity he puts a
tarp down just in case he throws up during it yeah on the stage but he housed it all it was
amazing oh he does it on stage like a live audience yeah it was amazing i was doing improv
at the same time wild and uh but then after the show he went to the bathroom
baby that's you can't process all that stuff he's like yeah i have to throw it up he's like i can't
right you can see he took like disgusting no no no he was threw it up that's nice it's better
better yeah vomit's disgusting it's horrendous we were just watching a trailer for a really funny
movie and there was like three vomit jokes are you talking about the Kevin Hart Mark Wahlberg movie?
yes
you're being sarcastic you don't think it looks funny
I don't think it looks that great
you know what's a hard fast rule
when you got CGI in your comedy
maybe rethink it
and there was like five animal attack scenes
yes
CGI animals
there's some go to places for that stuff
yeah most things aren't funny
I'm looking forward to being in a lot of
unfunny stuff in my life
dude I can't wait to be in unfunny stuff bro
why is Kevin Hart always like
a dad in everything
he's always like a
put upon father
who's like too dedicated to it
and kind of weakened because of it somehow
I want to see him do like a 24 like yeah hardcore drama something yeah it's true heroin addict i
thought that'd be tough for him to be like a heroin addict because he wouldn't be able to work
out he's in good shape yeah yeah his heart's got a little rig on him mark walberg's jack too those
are two jack dudes they're both in really good shape. Buff dudes. What else are they going to do?
It's also tough to be buff and funny, which JT does very well.
Oh, thanks, man.
You do very well.
You do it too.
Chad does.
Chad's shredded.
Shredded, yep, exactly.
Shredded on lean.
Yeah, people, there's different words for stuff.
Yeah.
It's funny when you're like talking to a gal.
She's like, what's the difference between jacked and buff?
And you're like, I'm glad you asked.
Exactly.
Exactly. Jacked has more vascularity. And they're like, what's the difference between jacked and buff? And you're like, I'm glad you asked. Exactly. Exactly.
Jacked has more vascularity.
And they're like, okay, cool.
Exactly.
There's a vein in the bicep.
Buff is like really the triceps pronounced, which is the, you know, there's the heavy
lifting for the arm.
Yeah.
And also neck girth.
Dude.
Yeah.
And in our show, we show off our rigs too.
Yeah.
The picture of you guys on the show announcement was great.
Oh yeah.
My mom called me.
Oh yeah.
Strider, do you show your penis in this show?
Do you show your penis?
And I'm like, no, mom, don't worry.
It's all good.
It's blurred out.
It's chill.
Don't worry about it.
And she's like, do those people see your penis?
I was like, we were streaking.
Yeah.
Dude, there was one.
We had one mock-up where I was like, they first, they messed up.
They did such a good job with the mock-ups too.
So these are very minor criticism.
And I'm so grateful to them for what they came up with and how quick they were able to do it and adjust it.
But the first one to Chad, Chad wasn't hot enough.
Like it wasn't a fair representation of his face.
It's true.
It wasn't even, Chad didn't even say anything.
Our showrunner, Dan was like, Chad's not hot enough in this it's not what chad looks like it's so true this could be more
flattering to chad it's a tough spot to be i felt weird too because we're like emailing them these
notes of like make him hotter but i was just like i don't think this is me just being like guys
what's the most you did step up that one when we were doing the animated show that
oh well that was like atrocious and they made me in Chad look like dude. Yeah, yeah French like street heroin addicts
Yeah, and then check out off. I was fired up to but check out all fired up, but he was like he was like
Here's the email. I'm sending it goes. They should look younger more energetic and hotter just like the real Chad and JT
That's amazing yeah i was like this is bullshit i grew up in rocket power yeah bro bro i want auto and reggie in there i don't want fucking you know yeah it
looked like something from like the turn of the century like a fucking you know 1900s cartoonist
would draw yeah we looked like we were in an opium den yeah like painters in an opium den yeah like we were on heroin with like
with like hook noses and yeah yeah yeah they gave us some schnozzes yeah i got a little bit of a
nose but that was too much yeah it's like what are these guys seeing us what are these artists
these animators seeing us it is like because it's funny that animators will like be like this is a
characterization or there's a you know car it's a cartoon so don't take offense
and then you look at it and you're like i just took offense yeah i'm so fucking offended dude
actually dude hey can you meet me at the park yeah we moved the zoom meeting to the playground
yeah come meet me you're just standing there waiting for me
yeah how many coffees you drink in a day i think i just have one americano
that's it i can moderate dude you're able to like rein it in and have like just like a couple beers
like you know i you know it's just because i'm sensitive i got my sensitive tummy i've got my
uh i have a more of a negative physical reaction than any positive uh psychological one from it
but i do need
my energy in the morning i gotta have my coffee in the morning me too man i'm there yeah i showed up
to work yesterday i didn't have any coffee and i was like literally like i hope no one talks to me
or they don't ask me to do anything and then once i had that coffee i was set but i've completely
conditioned my body to needing that spike same it's a it's a bust but it's also but i love the
flavor of it like i enjoy coffee oh yeah and i like the roller coaster of it i like the midday crash and then
like i like not being you're never bored true your body's going through it also on set that this is
like on a regular day if i'm like filming on set oh i'm for sure having another coffee in the
afternoon like you have to i had five doubles yesterday what baby that's a lot i had five doubles i was dying yeah but your vape was gone how'd you had your vape no i had my vape till five
and then and then there was an hour or two there when i didn't have the vape where i was like i
could lose it it's good was it good crafty where they had the guy making them on set
the coffees yeah yeah that's the best the espresso machine went down at a certain point
whoa oh yeah and no whoa i love oat milk yeah there was no you gotta have oatmeal baby we're
on we're not in l.a you just got on the oat milk kick right i mean i had like an oat milk and
chocolate bro the throttle i had jt's drink the vanilla latte with oat milk? It's a delicious drink. It's like dessert. It's a dessert. It's a treat.
Put that on my butt, baby.
Now we're talking.
Now we're talking.
It's a total butt drink.
Yeah.
When something's really tasty, you just want to pour it up your ass.
Yeah.
It's so true.
It's the highest praise.
You can't do that on set, though.
It's the most vulnerable part of your body, and you want that part of your body to experience
the pleasure of that beverage or food.
Yeah.
Absolutely. Have you guys ever been in a dark room? Like for photography? Yeah. to experience the pleasure of that beverage or food. Yeah, absolutely.
Have you guys ever been in a dark room?
Like for photography? Yeah.
It's really horny in there.
Oh, I could see that.
Have you ever boned in one? No, I laid on a
girl's lap in high school in one though.
Nice. That's pretty sweet.
Dude, speaking of yesterday,
I was trying to talk trash
to Ferraro. He's like like you guys watching the new lord of the
rings show and i go oh yeah this is like i got nodded because when i was 24 i had sex and then
i stopped watching lord of the rings and then strider called me out i was like it's hilarious
that you just bullied him by saying you had sex for the first time at 24 it's like that's really
late dude but also among the joke no we're it wasn't part of the joke. I was trying to talk shit.
So then we were joking around.
We were like, I was 35 and I moved out of my mom's.
So I was like, fuck Lord of the Rings.
Dude, that was so funny.
But for that group of dudes, because we all had sex late, it really worked.
So we were like, damn, you did zing them.
Really?
Everyone?
For the most part, yeah.
For the most part.
I know everybody's age.
For I was like 19.
Greg was probably in his 20s.
I think so.
I was early 20s.
Yeah.
When you told your story
about losing your Virginia,
remember my-
Tej?
Yeah, with the trainer?
No.
What happened there?
It was so funny.
I was bragging.
I was like,
yeah, dude, it was awesome.
I couldn't wait to work out
until the guys got laid.
Then I was going to brag
about the next,
that we had a morning sesh too. Then I was like, in the morning, and Tej. I couldn't wait to work out until the guys got laid. Then I was going to brag about the next, that we had a morning sesh too.
Then I was like in the morning and Tesh goes,
she ditched you before I finished the story.
I was like, fuck you, man.
No.
No, remember you were,
there was like five of us listening.
You were like, she came over, she was hot.
We had sex.
It was awesome.
And then my dad popped his head out the window upstairs
and goes, oh, really Strider?
It was amazing.
We had sex. It was awesome. that was kind of the nuts and bolts did you remember those dudes in high school who were like just getting bjs really early dude yeah and they'd just be like he just i was at boarding
school so i go to their room and they'd just be in there and like dudes would be coming in and
congregating in their room because they're the coolest yeah like what I'd be like, what do you guys want to watch?
Happy Gilmore?
They'd be getting blown
while the other guys were hanging out in there.
I'm like, dude, you're getting blowjobs.
Dude, that's why we're good bros though
because we were the dudes in that room hanging out.
This is at least what I tell myself
so I can sleep at night.
I was a good dude
because I would drive the girl home
after she blew that buddy.
Yep.
JT, dude, was really good.
I'd play really fun music on the drive home.
He's amazing, dude amazing he'd be like
you ready to go
what time you want
alright cool
yeah Tyler's passed out
so let's go
where do you live Kodo
that's only 45 minutes
that's great
yeah let's hit it
yeah I'll be up later
take your time up there
yeah yeah
don't worry dude
it's also all at JT's house too
he's on the couch
they're in his room
he's like
you guys comfortable
I have extra toothbrushes
yeah you want to take care of people
and be hospitable so true i was laughing too that like it was funny
it was always a guy who had like a car you know it'd be like mac he drove like a cool expedition
that was all souped up then he would tell a story and be like yeah you know devon came over and then
just took her up to like the bluffs and she blew me in the back of the car and i was like fuck man i gotta get us i gotta get an explorer i was like if i get a car it's over
and then i got a car and i did drive chicks in my car a lot yeah drive fast with a girl there
did you have that ford lightning bro that was the dumbest car bro it's like a fucking f-150 that's
dropped down with the corvette engine my first car
like p-dubs i'm a super spoiled guy but like awesome me and my dad went to the ford dealership
cherry red does 150 cherry red that's exactly like p-dubs bro it was the sickest car fish tail
out of every turn you can only fit like hilarious and then uh my dad just looks at me like i'm like
the worst kid in the world too. I get bad grades.
I'm always in trouble.
My dad's like, JT, if I get you this car, are you going to get good grades?
I was like, for sure, dad.
1.6 GPA.
But like before I fully could, like once I got my license and I started getting speeding tickets left and right, my dad got rid of it because he was like, it's just not safe
for you.
Right.
It was the dumbest car. No teenager should have that car. No, but my dad got rid of it because he was like it's just not safe for you right it was the dumbest car no teenager should have that car no but my dad and
me were just all cock we just got there and we're like let's get a cherry red racing dude yeah my
dad did the same thing like we went he's like when i got my license like a little 16 or whatever
he's like let's go to the dodge dealership let's look at some durangos let's go look at some rams
yeah like i don't know there's something about dads wanting to get their kids trucks in the oc or something dude yeah yeah yeah is suv did when
you were growing up did all the parents drive suvs yeah i think so for the most part right yeah i
wonder if that's still the standard it's not like that in la no la it's impractical to have a big
truck or anything all the parents in the denali oh denali's bro there's a little bit of an arms race like keeping up with the Joneses like everyone have
the sickest SUV well that was around the time too and Arnold had the h2 Hummer
yeah and that was like a big thing just continue please sorry no that's all I
had H2 valid the h2s they suck yeah that's the thing how much way downhill
after that that was a violation of though because the Hummer was rugged and like burly and looked like military adjacent and then they went with
like this soft ass yeah like they rounded it out yeah they rounded out the corners yeah and it lost
all of that brutal edge that it had i didn't like that you get an h1 it's wider than any car like
you can't fit it in a regular parking spot like it's impractical to drive one of the streets but like the center console's massive it's fucking cool like you
like and it can drive up a fucking hill yeah the h2 is like stupid yeah the whole the whole idea of
the whole idea of owning a hummer when you like live in a suburb that came and died pretty quickly
also when we were spinners. Remember spinner rims?
I still love spinners, dude.
Is rim culture still a thing?
Not really, but I kind of want to bring it back.
22s?
You know a car with the tire was like this thin?
You could barely see the tire when they'd overdo the rims.
Do you remember seeing spinners on the highway?
Amazing.
Oh, fuck, dude.
He's got spinners.
So garish.
So sick, dude. mean all those all those
music videos too you know like nelly like oh like um anything where they just have 22s and
i want to get 22 so bad you know the car i'm buying right now is a toyota supra
oh you might switch rides no i i think for down the line i think it's more of like a pleasure buy if i were what's the supra
paul walker's car and fast and furious the orange one oh let's go bro yeah that's sick
stick would you can get a convertible oh that'd be cool if you got a stick yeah
dude convertible be sick i can't afford it right now but it's like a baby you're gonna get there
you're fucking drilling it you're killing it baby you kidding me show's coming out i can't wait to ride shotgun with you dude dude throw on kill switch
engage yes do a burnout yes and a stick shift you'll be able to do a burnout nice dude that's
the dream and also you know why i like stick shift no texting true you're focused hands on the shift
and it's like your pleasure car you're not going to drive it every day you don't have to
it's fun for the weekend yeah you and the dank ass gf cruise out you get some breakfast dude
yeah you have a dog dude dogs chilling on your gf's lap dude bro that's the dream you guys are
getting a dog right yeah planning on it what kind of dog golden retriever perfect bro come on can't
miss pure love yeah they are pure love. I get the dog.
My GF, hold me close.
She has a dog.
And like when you go over there and it just jumps on your lap.
Yeah, it's the best. It starts licking my face, dude.
It's very nice.
Dude, do you ever just stare into a dog's eyes, too?
All the time.
Just peer.
Yeah, just try to like connect to its soul.
Yeah.
It's so, I don't know.
You feel like they can see you.
They can.
I was staring into G, her name's Gigi.
I was staring into her eyes.
She started to tear up
like we had a real
emotional moment
I care for her I think I'd kill someone for Gigi
oh yeah that's how I measure love
when I murder someone for this person
and I always want to feel that close to someone
is there anything better the only
when I knew I was going to marry my
dank ass fiance it was
I had this thought while I was just flying thinking
to myself because I have these thoughts while I fly
I don't do anything else no headphones in like a maniac
and I thought to myself
I'm going to marry this girl because
I had the fantasy of
an invading force coming in
and me having a cigarette
saying you go you go
somewhere safe I stay back
I fight I die that's always the move too yeah
because i think i i've told my gf if something pops off that way i go you run i'll stay behind
and die correct and also i don't want you to watch me get my ass kicked yeah i'll get all
i'm just gonna slow him down for a second yeah i'm just i'm just here as like a a heavy duty
speed bump giving you a jump start
but don't don't stick around because you know my body's gonna flail and things
you know i'm gonna cry you never want your knees to buckle in front of your girlfriend i'm gonna
like try to like shoot at one of the you know zombies or whatever and then i'm gonna be like
it's gonna jam totally jam up then i start running i I stub my toe. For some reason, I fall down. I'm dead.
Yeah.
I always have the fantasy of like you hear something in the middle of the night,
and you're like, wait here.
You put on your boots.
So you're in boots and boxers.
Of course.
Check the gun.
Make sure the bolt's in there.
And then you just walk out.
Wait here.
And you just walk out in the hallway.
It's clear.
I love that.
Yeah, I do a hallway clear every night with a gun
just to check yeah it's amazing only weird part of that story is you're not sleeping in cargo
shorts because you got to be pockets ready to go mres yeah that's why i'm not ready flashlight
that's why i'm not i always go to bed ready dude that's why we have you dude because you understand
dude don't yeah don't you shower in your nikes yeah 100 i've got my shower shoes when i when i'm relaxing me and my dang jeff will cuddle up for
a movie i have tactical boots that i wear when i get on my couch in case you have to burst 100
i need to be ready to go i lay a few booby traps you know i put a book by the door so if anyone
comes in i'll hear it fall speaking of watching stuff on tv i have a premature beef of the week
with you this is actually more of a beef of the year I have a premature Beef of the Week with you. This is
actually more of a Beef of the Year, maybe even a Beef
of the Lifetime. I was going to say it might be a Lifetime, yeah.
How have you not watched
The Sopranos or Succession yet?
And is it just to offend me?
No, no, no. Let me tell you what.
I'm taking it personal on purpose. You are correct
in that I should watch The Sopranos,
but I'm saving it so I have something nice
to look forward to.
Also, it's going to be a big investment. When are you going to watch?
When I'm old.
When I'm old and I can't move.
When my lateral movement...
You live a bright and vital life.
You can't sacrifice The Sopranos.
When my shuttle run time dips below eight seconds,
that's when I'm going to watch.
So I can't be active.
Yeah, baby, I'm at 7'5 at seven five so it's close shuttle runs every day
dude when i warm up for valet every day i get in there set up some cones in the lot
so you got to be ready to rock and roll you know that's in khakis oh yeah full khaki yeah khakis
and a polo and you got all the other guys doing it now too right yeah they're they're all dialing
they weren't doing it but honestly luggage was getting loaded up late cars were not being brought
up on time tips were suffering because of it i said guys let's fucking get in shape here so now we're
doing shuttle runs you watch succession right oh yeah see this is a show where i watch the pilot
and while good and well acted i'm like i get it like they're mean to each other and stuff and like
they're all vying for power which is game of Thrones but Game of Thrones at least has killing
and fucking
and I like that
I will settle for
singing and dancing
but it doesn't have that either
but Sopranos has killing
it's got great characters
it's got a lot of fucking
a lot of fucking
and I will watch it
it's just
I haven't
it's a lot
it's a big chunk to invest in
so I'm gonna do it
but I've tried to get
into succession
I just can't do it
you gotta get through four that's what I mean that's i mean this this whole idea of but that's every show game
of thrones wasn't that breaking bad episode one breaking bad boom i couldn't believe it wasn't
the end of the season he's in his underwear on the side of the road i was like whoa that was
amazing but yeah breaking bad is great but. True, true, but I don't know.
I watch Only Murders in the Building with my dank ass fiance.
Also, I got a Crush Band of Brothers.
I need to watch that every single year.
It's so good.
There's a lot of time in the year.
It is true.
What'd you do last night?
Gamed for about four hours with my boys.
Dude, I played Call of Duty for six hours on Sunday.
Six hours.
I must have played.
Yeah, you had a great day.
It was awesome.
Two dubs.
What's the most amount of games
you think you've played in a day?
I've probably gone for like eight hours
in the peak of the pandemic.
Like I probably played for like four hours,
stopped,
did a classic jack off,
eat session,
then came back and played more.
If we could have like a lockdown month every year.
Oh yeah.
That'd be pretty sick.
Yeah, COVID was the best.
Without consequences.
Bro, we need summer vacation for like, the year should be the school year.
Like everyone should just work for nine months or whatever.
You still get weekends.
And then everyone needs summer, dude.
Don't they do that in like France?
Probably.
They probably do it in the Scandinavian countries.
They always do smart shit like that. Yeah.
That sounds nice.
Wouldn't that be just so sick?
Dude, if we had
yearbooks and stuff too.
That'd be fun. Signing other people's
yearbooks at the end of like a
just a ceremonial year.
Yeah, you had your crush.
You'd be like, hey Tiffany, can you sign
my yearbook? And you'd analyze what they said for like the whole summer she'd be like hey cutie
dude that's dude when you would get a phone number
you'd get a phone number in the yearbook sometimes say text me bro oh that's nice dude i remember
taking like my crush like can i just take your your yearbook to class with me dude i'm gonna
spend time on this dude dude nice do you remember when you wrote that snow patrol lyric yep i wrote the snow patrol
lyric but not from the chorus one of the verses what was the lyric it was the snow patrol song
if you lay with me would you lie with me and just forget the world and then i forget the lyric that i put
but it was because it was like senior year so it was something about like maybe staying in touch
even though we're moving on something like that was the sentiment i forget the exact lyric
but um you wrote that in your book yeah my boy r. I was like, dude, you're going to go play football, dude. That's funny.
Yeah, you did do that, dude.
Here's the lyrics.
Which ones were they?
It's a good song.
I don't know where.
Confused about how as well. Just know that these things will never change for us at all.
Oh, dude. I need to get punched in the shoulder for fucking
writing that dude that's sweet it was yeah hit him dude dude if you ever see your boy being
vulnerable or honest dude sometimes you just want to punch it but we should be proud
of that dude you know yeah and jt was proud of me for that you were proud you were a little bit like
dude i saw what you did there dude but at the same time you're like that was nice your dang
fiance that you loved her we were driving and he go yeah dude uh yeah i uh i told my dang girlfriend
i loved her last night and he he was all fun and butter.
I go, let's go.
I was like, that's awesome.
He goes, I knew you'd get too excited.
He had to have all curmudgeon he did.
It took me a while to get into like,
I remember I would always sort of,
as a high school student,
I would always try to go for the laugh
instead of like letting bros have their intimate moments.
I remember one time this kid Hanson, this still pains me to this day i talked about this before he was making
out with a girl you know you walk away from campus you walk to the forest and he's making out with
her and we ran over and we're just like fucking with them and then he's like bro i was about to
get tits it's like days and confused yeah amazing i was like fuck it still hurts me to this day he's like I was like fuck damn sorry he's like yeah
sorry I've done something like that I've done something really bad remember what I did to
a boy Greg can I use names yeah I mean I don't know what the story is gonna be but
here's the thing it's nothing inappropriate
because I ruined it
there was two ladies that were into him
dude two ladies attractive
into our boy Greg
attractive ladies dude
and soccer playing
ladies dude and
we were like all hanging out in and out or something like that
we're going to cruise over to someone's house after just
chill probably house a few fucking beers get in the hot tub you know how it is and they're like greg ride
in our car with just them two and then me being the little virgin that i was got in the back of
the car didn't even say anything just like got in the back of the car really weird and then they
started like kind of like flirting and stuff and then i felt weird in the moment so i popped up and was like because like if anything i don't want it to turn like voyeurism
or peeping tom at that point and uh even though i don't know what made me get in that car which was
just a bad call by me lack of total lack of maturity and so something could have gone down
with our boy greg and two attractive soccer playing ladies and then i popped up i'm here isn't that funny they're all
like yeah hilarious guess we'll just go to the party excitement has a gravity to it and you just
got in the pool i think i think we just like are like oh something's gonna happen over there and
we don't have the restraint yet to to see our way out of it and we just start getting sucked into it
and then you get
too close and you're like oh yeah i'm not supposed to be here supposed to stay floating totally i
should have been with the boys listening to good tunes while greg maybe had the night of his life
he's got good music taste yeah he does he would have put on like the smiths or something he for
and they might not have known about the smiths they'd be like what is this he's like actually
this guy he's celibate but we don't have to meet tonight you know what i mean then that could have led to so many different types
of jays you know so many jays zj did i deny him so many jays that night and those ladies i denied
them jays too yeah fuck man they're both married i think too for me too it was definitely like a
little bit of jealousy around like i'm gonna ruin this moment because i'm not getting any types of jays that's the worst type of j jealousy jealousy is a hell of a thing it is the j word and it shows
up in different ways and it and it never is like it never shows up directly it's a sneaky little
emotion where it's like it's a hard thing to acknowledge in yourself yeah yeah you won't ever
be like i want what you have like you don't say that. You do something else to it.
You like kind of get moody or like make a snide remark or like get in someone's trunk and think you're being funny.
Yeah.
I do think romantically jealousy is kind of not helpful, but I do think it's nice if you're
old and you're jealous.
Like my uncle, Heido, he was always jealous of his wife, Heidi.
She was like 80 and he'd still get jealous.
He'd be like, you're flirting with that waiter.
You guys are going to bang.
And I'd always be like, Heido, she's 80.
I was like, no one's trying to bang her, dude.
But it was really sweet.
He'd be like, she's betrayed me.
She's flirting with the waiter.
My whole life's been a lie.
And he would feel it so passionately. And I was like, dude, she's betrayed me. She's flirting with the waiter. My whole life's been a lie. And he would feel it so passionately.
And I was like, dude, hell yeah, man.
You're still like standing tall for your chick,
even though she's like a huge 80-year-old lady.
It was really sweet.
It was really, really sweet.
He's going to give her Epsom salt bath.
Yeah, he was like legit jealous.
One time he got mad.
He thought the waiter was flirting with her.
He sat at the kids' table. And I was like like and he made like a big spectacle out of it and i was like
this is kind of the sweetest thing i've ever seen it was really amazing yeah oh strider i'm i'm
moving in with my lady friend baby let's go i love this tips from you baby i mean hopefully
a credenza fits when you start decorating let me know i'd love to get in there and give you my two cents yeah if you'll have it but here's what i would say yeah i would
love to do have you do a walkthrough i would love to do that um dude first of all congrats so fired
up moving into a new space together or is she moving into your place are you in my place we're
gonna look for a place for now she's moving in my place okay sick uh all i would say is
definitely i don't think you'll do this but
definitely have at least a one bedroom like not a studio because you want to have those moments
because the relationship is dank you're together but you also want to respect each other's own time
and it's easier to do that if you have separate rooms to be in at least even even if it's just
a bedroom in the living room yeah you know i mean and then of course you'll have your drill factory
we'll set that up we'll figure out where that goes because you got to still drill and uh dude
fired up that's really my only advice and then other than that is still be a good roommate yes
this is your lover and your partner and your coral but at the same time still lead with those still
be a quality roommate you know wash the dish and just put it in the dishwasher you know like don't
just leave it in the sink all the time like still those things apply right i love that yeah maybe we
could schedule you know like you sort of do a walkthrough and sort of intro to us to like
this like you two are going to be living together yeah this is and then you walk through and you're
like this you could start designating spaces like this is his drill factory this is your drill
factory exactly and these are suggestions but i'd
also like masturbate together yeah yeah oh that's a nice thing to do yeah yeah that's my two cents
you could yeah you guys could both actually come in and give us like a little session
yeah i can be helpful on that front yeah yeah we can yeah jc remember to masturbate together
both of you have your own laptops but be close you know that's a good good call like
maybe you know you're dang jeff draws a bath and then you are just you know maybe seated at a 45
degree right angle yeah jacking off i i had one girlfriend who would like light a candle when she
masturbated and i thought that was really funny i was like oh you're really like set in the mood
i was like it's not like that for me yeah but then i haven't had another girlfriend who used to like masturbate in the parking lot at whole foods so hey range she was
hey that's get after you know proper savage um dude uh you're gonna be a good roomie you're a
good room you're very considerate though oh thank yeah i think so i think uh you got your ice bath
what about our dishes what about sleeping in the same bed that's one thing where like
sometimes like uh i love sleeping next to my girlfriend but sometimes i don't sleep as well
just because it's too body and yeah baby no you're a little bed hog too i'll come in there
just the distribution of space is way off i'm a big time bed hog she's taking up like eight
tenths of it yeah yeah and she's an elegantly shaped lady but i'm like yo sprawls i sprawl she's
a sprawler and a baller dude i think i think girls just do that they sort of try to dominate take
over they try to take over yeah yeah they try to eliminate you yeah from your own space yeah yeah
and you gotta you gotta sometimes in the middle like bet you, babe, you got to wake him up. Mind your space. So true, dude.
Dude, babe's the best thing to say.
Babe.
Babe.
Babe, come along.
Babe, have you seen all the different babes?
Oh, babe.
Babe.
Babe, look at this.
Babe, come here.
Babe.
Babe.
Babe.
Babe, I'm thinking that tonight we should maybe just order in.
You're rocking a queen though, right? You got i got a king oh you got a king that's oh
you're cruising dude there it is but still dude i mean no no you're fine no you're good with the
king you're good and also i'd say this not california king don't oh you get a little more
extra leg space you don't need it look dude i'm six three i can sleep i fit in it fine you say
you're six three i know
i say that now that's awesome yeah good for you man thank you what do you because he's clearly
six three but he used to always be like i'm six two and a quarter or six two and change
thanks god i'm getting older now closer to dying right so i'm like and you're literally at the
point where you might be shrinking exactly i'm starting to start things are starting to lose
you know i i was all out of advil for the first time the other day.
I was all out.
It's never happened to me before, dude.
Whoa.
Yeah.
I need more.
When did you buy that bottle?
Like a week ago?
Yeah, like a week.
And it was the big one.
And you just went through it?
Housed it.
I'm more scared of Advil than I am of drug drugs.
It's true.
Well, you should be.
Advil can fuck up your kidneys.
People are like, you want to do shrooms? I'm like, give them give them all to me and then someone's like do you want a
tylenol i'm like whoa whoa whoa yeah i don't want to fuck myself up especially if you add it with
like a beer or something like that like stomach bleeding really gnarly yeah dude that's crazy when
you you start to house a lot of ibuprofen just a little bit indeed it's cliche for a reason like
you know after a long day at work whatever the back or something like that just takes that edge off.
And I feel like it's better than like going home and having a beer to do it or whatever.
It would be like just one.
Do you ever storm in and be like, I need a scotch?
Dude, I will do that for an Ipa.
I don't like smoky flavored shit.
I don't like scotch.
But I do like a whiskey.
I'd have like a bourbon.
Yeah. Like, babe, not now. Yeah hold on and then and then talk about fingers tonight we'll be at work
tonight's a three finger night what are you talking about with your lady it's like nope
with the whiskey just keep pouring it you ever go out the bottle no never just a straight up
actually with i'm with the boys actually in, I chipped a tooth, picked up a guitar that wasn't plugged into an amp to do a joke,
that I was ripping a nice riff while a song was on.
I think it was to a tasty riff to that fucking Pennywise.
Broham?
Yeah, Broham.
And put the bottle in my mouth, started chugging it like that.
It was fireball.
That's hilarious.
I was chugging my head like that. Yeah, and fucking chipped my tooth.
Is it still there?
It's still there.
It's a little tiny tip.
Yeah, he gets it.
The dentist wants to fix it.
That's interesting.
When you reach your 30s, that three-finger neck goes from the shocker to the amount of
whiskey you're having.
Exactly.
These are the things that you get when you're 30.
You get the download.
Yeah.
Why are teeth...
I'm so self-conscious about my teeth and my gums and
stuff i've got to go to the i haven't been to the dentist in probably four or five years you
recommended me to your dentist and they're great they're good lou yeah dr lou yeah i like them
do you floss i don't floss you should floss i know i did crest white strips for a couple weeks
just to boost the color solid it works that stuff works um but yeah i just never prioritize it but then i'm like i'm like my mouth is like such a cesspool
you know actually i just switched over to a different mouthwash that kills only like the
bad germs rather than like listerine which kills all the germs right because you have good germs
in there and bad ones yeah i'll have to look up what it is i forget but this is the type of thing
that i'm interested in now yeah you know totally yeah yeah john updike says it's
the it's the most intimate look at our human frailty and mortality is the mouth totally it's
a really indicator of overall health yeah because you have a healthy mouth they're bones right
exposed bone it's weird but you look good yeah and your teeth are straight you got a good smile
they're white yeah i crust white stripped straight you got a good smile they're white
yeah I crust white stripped them
you gotta do that
every once in a while
I think
I'm invisaligning right now
I don't have them in right now
because I had the coffee
but
sucks
dentists is a
they kill themselves
the most right
yeah
my dad wanted me
to become a dentist
out of all
he's like
your dad wanted you
to kill yourself that's what he wanted the most yeah a dentist out of all he's like your dad wanted you to kill yourself
yeah yeah no that's what he said i was like you want me to go into medicine he's like yeah
he's like no i want you to kill yourself dude that's i was like why and he's like
i don't think you're you know i think that you know gene pool kind of like
right thinned out by the time it got to you and I think you should just
well he wants balance too you know
you want to have at least one kid that kills himself
so there's like a moody kind of artist type
yeah well I think my dad
he really wanted sort of elite
you know achievers
and he was like
he saw me in college and he was like philosophy
you should become a dentist
I was like why he's like
i think you'd be better off if you killed yourself but here's the thing that he was
pushing you maybe he was just pushing you yeah like prove me wrong yeah no no okay that's true
that's true yeah for sure that's true that's true my dad told me to become a dentist in Seattle oh fuck dude that's like the suicide capital of the country
a dentist in Seattle
why don't you move to Seattle
go help people out with their teeth up there
so why don't you say what you really mean
that's so cool
that is what I mean
my dad told me to be a dentist in San Diego
so I think there's some hope
that's cool
yeah my dad was like My dad told me to be a dentist in San Diego, so I think there's some hope. That's some hope. That's cool. That's cool.
That's cool.
Yeah, my dad was like,
go be a dentist in Seattle and have no windows.
My dad handed me a dense Russian literature book
and said, go read this.
Go put this in your waiting room,
your dentist's office in Seattle.
My dad got me a pair
of khakis and he's like go fill some cavities while wearing these yeah my dad told me go move
to seattle become a dentist and get me too i was like really he's like yeah yeah no that'll be good for you he's gonna make you tough
what's up dudes i'm interrupting this podcast let you know once again that we are
brought to you or we are on tour we're going we got dates coming up all over the country
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It's smooth sack summer, boys. get on board or get left behind all right let's get back to the
show um should we answer some cues okay dude um strider where is your drill factory where'd you
set it up at so it's mainly my desk area, but during the pandemic,
cause my dead guest fiance was at home.
It went back to the bathroom,
which was all basically all due to original drill factory.
And I put some nice house plants in there.
My Boris Vallejo book goes in there and the acoustics are very nice.
And I will turn them up loud.
My fiance knows I'll be in there.
So I'll hear the reverberations of the audio.
I'm a big audio guy.
So, yeah, right now,
but now that everyone's back to work and stuff,
I'm mainly at the desk area.
I like the open space, the natural lighting,
the free flow.
I can sit, stand, kneel, one knee if I have to.
Sometimes I like to be on one knee
in a nice athletic stance,
like when you're waiting when someone gets hurt during a soccer game I
like to be in that stance where do you finish I finished directly into my on my
knee when I'm in that stance so yeah typically on my knee you know I don't
want to clean up any of the stuff on the ground or anything it's and I'll hop in
the shower right after two Two birds, one stone.
All right, first question.
Where do golf bros rank in the sports bro hierarchy?
Last, bro.
And he spelled it high archery, which is fun.
I like that.
Last.
I might even have a beef of this.
Too much golf bro humor, dude.
And maybe it's what I'm following on Instagram.
Because I watch a lot of this stuff.
And a little bit of it. I like,
but I don't like this golf bro map over jokes of like,
Oh man,
me pulling up straight to the tee box after housing being out till 3am.
I'm like,
go be a dentist.
Wow.
I think that's our new phrase.
Go be a dentist.
Yeah.
I think,
uh,
um, I don't know. Golf a dentist. Yeah, I think.
I don't know.
Golf bros, to me, it sounds like I'm a golf bro.
I'm like, well, everyone is.
The thing is, like, especially in high school, it's one thing to be like into golf in your 30s.
It's like, yeah, of course.
Yeah.
You know, you still get some movement.
You get to hang out.
You're outside.
It makes a lot of sense.
But when someone's like, unless they're Tiger Woods, like there's always someone who can be good enough it's something that it supersedes whatever like lazy kind of thought or categorization i have about it
but if you're if you play golf in high school i just imagine you're not good enough to play
football basketball or or one of the other premier sports because i do think in the hierarchy
football and basketball are the two top sports. Yes. Then under that is probably soccer, volleyball.
Maybe baseball.
Oh, baseball.
Baseball, bros.
But sometimes they're kind of douchey bros.
They're kind of douches.
Yeah.
I think it goes baseball, soccer, and then, yeah, baseball and soccer.
Water polo bros.
Tier three is water polo, volleyball. Yep. And then... Yeah, baseball and soccer are tier two. Water polo, bros? Tier three is water polo, volleyball.
Yep.
And lacrosse.
Oh, lacrosse is tier two if you're on the East Coast, though.
Yep.
And then tier four is like your golf and your...
Track and field.
Yeah.
And then you can be good enough at any of these things that it moves up.
Yeah.
If you're a dominator...
I might put track and field tier three, depending on what event you're doing. That's true. If you're like a sprinter and you're a badass're if you're a dominator i might put track and field tier three depending on what event you're doing that's true if you're like
a sprinter if you're a hot leaders that's that's even tier two depends track and field has a lot
of range in the tiers because of uh tennis is below golf probably events that they have
tennis below golf you think no tennis above golf really in high school yeah i think it's more
active it is for sure like our best golfer at the first high school i Yeah, I think it's more active. It is. It's more athleticism. For sure.
Like our best golfer at the first high school I went to with you was that Bo kid.
Bo, yeah.
And, you know, he seemed like, you know, I looked at him, I said, this guy in biology honors.
I didn't think.
Yeah, I didn't think about him being a golfer.
I didn't think about him moving.
Correct. No disrespect.
Nice guy.
I mean, tennis players, you know, they're going to have huge calves.
For sure.
I do like that.
I think that moves you up into a pretty high level tier and maybe without my beef with the golf bros was
maybe the content that i'm consuming it seems to be it might just be my feed but it seems like it's
like really in a boom right now of this golf bro culture which i think the sport grew like
20 during the pandemic because it's all you could do like pickleball is booming right now
yeah i love pickleball i do want to play pickleball dude it's fun because it's all you could do. Like pickleball is booming right now. Yeah.
I love pickleball.
I do want to play pickleball.
Dude, it's fun, bro.
It's fun.
But it is a great thing to do
and it's a beautiful thing
to hang out with your boys
and have some beers in the corner.
Where's wrestling at?
Tier three?
Yeah.
And look,
again,
if you're the best
in any of these sports,
you bump up.
Yeah.
But just baseline.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think with golf, it's sort of like you resign yourself to being old at a young age to me.
Yeah, you got to wear a polo and stuff.
You just don't look very cool out there.
No, my dad would be like, you got to play golf.
You should play on the golf team.
I was like, dad, you want me to play golf and be a dentist?
Bro, yeah, your dad would really hot it out for you. yeah like i get that you don't want me to live but yeah you know he
didn't even want you to enjoy your youth what he didn't even want you to enjoy your youth no
why don't you just skip straight forward to being retired yeah dead your dad would take you to a lot
of graveyards wouldn't he yeah yeah and he'd be like look at this plot i feel like he's like don't you love it
yeah my dad he'd be like look how great this is like yeah yeah my dad would take me to like
john kennedy tools like old house where he grew up yeah and i'm like dad this guy wrote a book
that won the pulitzer my dad was like yeah but did you see how he died yeah like he would just
take me to artist places not to see the art but just to see that they had killed themselves yeah
he'd be
like you know you got to follow certain people's paths well that's and i was like i should write
and he's like maybe skip that part yeah the ending yeah the ending's good he's like at least write a
note yeah maybe not a book but write a note no that's interesting because my dad you know goes
to sun valley a lot and he took me to the place where Hemingway killed himself and he's like,
he's like,
look at this.
And he went skiing.
He just dropped you off there.
Yeah.
He went skiing.
He went skiing and he dropped me off there.
He's like,
just take in the feng shui.
That's funny too
because my brother talks about it.
Hemingway literally asked his mom
because you know,
Hemingway's dad killed himself.
Yeah.
He's like,
hey mom,
can I have dad's old shotgun,
the one that he used to kill himself?
Really?
Hemingway used that.
Really?
And his mom was like,
yeah,
take it. Whoa. Didn't give it a second thought oh my god damn she was like go ham
go hard in the paint with it yeah and then he's like yeah for sure and then he just swallowed that
fucking barrel damn dude it's crazy dude that's not i went skydiving with my dad one time there's
only one shoot yeah i was like and he jumped out of the plane had a really fun time and then
he's like follow me and then but i just i don't know i chickened out i just kind of
that's like when my dad bought me that f-150 lightning the thing i left out yeah are you
gonna get good grades this semester and i was like i promise and he's like are you also never
gonna wear a seatbelt right i was like yeah i promised your dad was big and you looking cool
he's like you know look cool you don't look cool if you wear your seatbelt.
He's like, just make sure you promise me you keep that gas pedal pinned.
You never wear a seatbelt.
And those cars, one of the things legit about those F-150, they crunch and crashes.
They have a terrible safety report.
Really?
And I was like, dad, isn't that a problem?
Shouldn't I be in a Volvo?
And he's like, don't be a fucking idiot.
He's like, drive fast and hard and make always aim small miss small when
you're trying to ram into things so true and i remember you try to pick me up one time you're
like dude sorry there's too many bottles of alcohol in the in the passenger seat i can't
i can't he told me to drive you a ride and he told me and he said you know what slows down cars
extra weight take the airbags out of it wow yeah he had those removed special yeah my dad had the
airbags taken his dad his dad's like i souped it up i got i got rid of the airbags and your dad also told you you know how people say focus on
the road he said focus on the poles right focus on the pole and then he was like always have a
lot of friends in the car because it's fun he's like and let them drive and i go but dad this car
only seats two and he goes that's why you sit in the truck bed yeah yeah he goes you sit in the
truck bed yeah like when we're just driving down the street to like you know the little farmer's
market he's like no no like freeway yeah road trips yeah he's like be in the truck bed. I'm like, yeah, like when we're just driving down the street to like, you know, the little farmer's market.
He's like, no, no, like freeway.
Yeah.
Road trips.
Yeah.
He's like, be in the trunk the whole time.
He's like, you like country music videos?
I was like, of course.
He's like, they're always in the trunk, in the truck bed.
He said, yeah, do that.
You know, my dad told me a deal one time.
We were in Hawaii near Mauna Kea, a volcano.
And he's like, yeah, there's a beautiful hike. You just hike to the top and you just jump in and there's like a slide through a he's like yeah there's a beautiful hike you just hike to
the top and you you just jump in and there's like a slide through the volcano you come out the bottom
yeah my dad my dad was like when a volcano is erupting you jump in the middle of right yeah
safest places in the eye of the storm dude yeah just being a storm melting to death is a good
way to die yeah dude my dad used to play this game called burritos during an electrical storm
and we'd wrap our he well not ourselves but he'd wrap me in tinfoil and be like,
you're a burrito and go run around the electrical storm.
Oh, the golf course.
He'd put you on the golf course.
Yeah, he'd wrap me in tinfoil and drop me on the golf course.
When we used to go shooting, I'd go, dad, how do you check if the gun's loaded?
He'd say, you put it to your head.
Yep.
And you pull the trigger.
And if you don't die, it's not loaded.
Exactly.
Oh, that's crazy yeah yeah
yeah i remember one time my dad took me to sea world and um we were at the shamu exhibit he's
like you know you can you can swim with shamu just jump in yeah yeah and he told me and i i did he
said he showed me a ticket the ticket he's like yeah i got you this special ticket for it and it
was like one of those little toe tags that you put on your right toe and he's like yeah go ahead how's your height weight and
today's date on it isn't that really weird and then just go ahead and get in there he said just
jump into a sea world yeah you know my dad told me we were at on the tower of terror at disneyland
you know that part where the doors open and he takes a photo at the top he's like you're supposed
to jump out that's why the
doors open dude yeah dude my dad was giving me sleeping lessons and he's like what are you doing
using one pillow you're supposed to take lay on one and put one over your face oh crazy and really
hold it down tight as you can until you fall asleep my dad knew i was into sports and i was
like dad what do i do if i like see an athlete i really like love yeah he's like well if it's
aaron hernandez hit on his girlfriend he's like you should like well if it's aaron hernandez hit on his girlfriend if it's aaron hernandez make sure you go hit on his girlfriend did he do it
yeah yeah i did oh crazy dude uh
so we think golf golf in high school is not one of the coolest sports. All right.
We got a question from Buck Weston this week.
Can someone be toxically positive?
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, I think toxic negativity I think is worse.
But yeah, someone can be too much of anything.
There's a dude at work that likes to shake my hand but get into my personal bubble.
You know what i mean like
he comes up like he's really super nice guy yeah strider good to see you man give me a paw
and gets too close like literally right here i'm like are you not a human yeah there's a bubble
bro everyone's got a bubble why are you right here it has to be genuine too yeah like the the
positivity has to be genuine you can't be like forcing it to where people are like, you know, that's when it's.
And you want to have the full range of human emotions.
You want to be able to go in any direction when it's needed or honest or helpful.
Because all the emotions I think can be helpful in doses.
For sure.
And then you see it a lot in acting and performers where like there's one comedian that I follow on Instagram.
And he's just always being so positive.
And you can see the strain and stress it's putting on him.
I think it always makes the veins in your forehead pop too much.
And I'm like, dude, you're literally going to give yourself an aneurysm.
Like you're just, you're not letting your like body feel all the things that needs to
feel and there's going to be a cost to that.
Yeah.
You got to process things.
You have to go through it.
You don't want to wallow for too long,
but you need to go through those steps.
If you're feeling sad,
feel sad for a little bit,
you know,
don't go out and like booze it up super hard,
whatever all the time,
but like process the emotion,
feel it.
Don't deny it.
You had a great thing the other day.
You said no one,
no,
everyone who gets an aneurysm is a good person basically.
Yeah.
I was like,
you ever,
never hear about an evil person getting an aneurysm like just getting taken down yeah true evil doesn't
go down that hard it's always like yeah man they get that energy out yeah yeah yeah they get it out
by like taking it out on like someone like harping back to our dads but like my dad would always yell
or something like that like go to bed or something i'm like that's him
getting he's clearing the house he's having a little aneurysm he's never gonna have that big
aneurysm because he's getting it out correct the nice guy's the passive guy where they feel
the transgression and it builds and it melts and i know i'm fine that was really nice that was a
good moment that's cool no i'll work overtime no that's fine i can cover that for you oh that's
okay have fun on your trip explode at some point if you do that you're gonna die you're gonna die you gotta be mean to people yeah you gotta be a little mean you gotta look at
a barista and be like where's my fucking latte bro you gotta get a little every once in a while
you gotta let that yeah that edge come out how does your dad say um go to bed go to bed
that helped that's helpful go to bed get that steam out yeah it's nice just i think i'll just be like just go to fucking bed i'll just be a little more frustrated that's what i mean that's helpful go to bed get that steam out yeah it's nice
just
I think I'll just be like
just go to fucking bed
I'll just be a little more frustrated
that's what I mean
but that's nice
you're a nice guy
if you do that
that's too nice
it's kind of too nice
if I throw a fucking in there
just go to fucking bed
okay yeah that's good
that's good
that'll let a little steam out
yeah
you think it's better
with a little more umph
like go to fucking bed
I can do that
if you're a pot pot
you're boiling
go to fucking bed you know you lift that steam If you're a pot pot, you're boiling, go to fucking bed.
You know, you lift that steam.
Yeah, I don't want to have that.
I know.
I just want to be, go to fucking bed.
I'd like to keep the intonation flat.
And we shouldn't really be taking it out on our hypothetical kids.
We should.
They can handle it.
That's what's good about going to the paintball course.
My dad talked to me like that.
I could handle it.
It was nice.
It's true.
It's true.
I like it when he still talks to me like that.
Sometimes, yeah.
Sometimes I'll call my dad. Can you just yell at me a little bit yeah just shut the
up man it feels good dude it's nice just tell my kid they suck you suck you suck dude bro
you saw our friend dan dude he said our friend dan said when he used to like show his little
like elementary school artwork to his daddy like dad is this good he'd be like yeah it's good for a second grader amazing amazing funny nice drawing dipshit brass tacks all right uh last question what is the bro
policy on hetero pegging from the lady once a year too much what are some other ways to spice
things up thanks dudes you know i i'm i'll be honest and i feel bad about this i am a little
like the pegging thing i do sometimes judge it a little bit.
I remember there was one comedian who was getting pegged by his girlfriend,
and they would talk about it.
They'd do sets back to back.
And, you know, I was a little judgy.
But I don't think you should be.
If something makes you happy, you should do it all the time and just own it.
Yeah.
As long as you guys are consensual and enjoying it it's what
you two enjoy together do it as much as your b-hole allows bro it's a moral failing on my
part yeah i wish i was like more like yeah it's great you know yeah because it is great whatever
makes you feel good we don't want to yuck anyone's yums it's consensual people are happy they're
getting along they're getting off. Have fun, baby.
And there's, you know,
Ralphie Cifaretto on The Sopranos.
He liked to get pegged.
Right.
And he was a badass dude.
He was a psychopath.
And not cool, but, you know,
he was tough.
Yeah, I think just, you know,
feel it out when you can do it.
And when you, like Strider said,
when your b-hole allows,
go for it.
I've tried to get a finger in the butt. i can't i can't i don't like it that
much yeah i i i think i'm too stiff i'm pretty stiff guy i'm trying to loosen up honestly i think
that's okay it's fine no it's not fine it's your speed but your speed isn't that i kind of missed
my window i think i needed to do it when i was younger and at this point I'm like I'm getting more traditional as
I get older and I'm finding myself being less open-minded to things like that which is weird
I don't like that but I do also think it's the natural course of things and yeah I think uh yeah
if you're young like the Puritans say get to them while they're young I if you if you feel
pegging curious I'd get get into it quicker before you're you know you get old and start
losing touch with what's new that's good and you know let it come from a natural space like
anything don't let external pressures or what someone else is doing lead you down a path that
you don't want to necessarily go if your friends you know when your bro's like dude i get pegged i
love it it's awesome all you guys gotta try it i'd say sure maybe you know don't knock it till
you try it try it and if you don't like it that's okay you can be like bro i
love that you like it but it's just not my cup of tea and that's fine too yeah we covered it on our
last pod that we recorded a couple days ago there's a hugely successful actor who's a badass
who we heard gets pegged and i think it does need to be normalized more especially by people who are you know inspiring and badass because i know it all because there is no real
like deeper meaning to any of this stuff it's just what you like and what your body reacts to
and then uh and yeah so we do need to i think it'd be how it's helpful to integrate it
just by talking about it and more people saying yeah it's normal
and i'm into it yeah badass guys like everything it's not like all due to our badass only like
reverse cowgirl that's how it is all navy seals they get reverse cowgirl maybe they finish doggy
style it's like no maybe seals might want to get pegged too you know who knows dude sometimes i can bust just from words
yeah just from what i'm talking about it's crazy that's why that means you have a very high uh
imagination emotional quotient too i guess so it's a skill oh thanks yeah yeah but i was like that's
cool what kind of words like big words yeah yeah it's mostly just vocabulary based stuff
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious yeah i, I'll just be like, I'm the opposite of apoplectic right now.
And then, bam, bust.
It's pretty wild.
I mean, dude, I'm not going to lie.
When you say the word convoluted, I get you up.
Yeah.
But that's because, Jason, you made me appreciate vocabulary more oh thank
you now it's transformed into more of like a arousal i i love the i love the english language
dude you know i wish i was more versatile in other languages but yeah big big words big bust
you know what makes me bust is when you look at the weather app and it's all suns
that's amazing yeah dude did you see like it's so hot in england people are dying
really yeah really mostly old people because they don't have a lot of like
interesting whoa that's a bummer too much of a good thing dude yeah that's fucking gnarly dude
all right chad who's your beef of the week dude my beef of the week is a huge blow to society that
you know i don't really know if we're ever going to recover from this and uh
it's probably one of the toughest
pieces of news I've ever had to take
the Choco Taco
by Klondike Bar
has been discontinued
Choco Taco is a staple of my childhood
it's waffle cone
in the shape of a
taco with delicious
vanilla ice cream and chocolate coating
and I believe nuts
on top.
It's incredible.
It's one of the best desserts out there.
And they're discontinuing it.
I don't know why. I don't know what Klondike is thinking.
But if you think you can take the
Choco Taco out of our lives, you got another thing
coming, alright? Because I'm coming in there
with a full hog of something.
You're going to go to their head of corporations with a boner.
Yeah, and I'm going to tell you guys about business.
I'm going to tell you guys how to run a business,
and you don't discontinue the Choco Taco, okay?
Am I looking at the right camera?
I'm looking at the right camera because I'm looking at you, Klondike.
You polar bear fox
you know maybe take away your mint klondike bar no one gets that shit
idiots everyone gets the choco taco i have one in my butt right now
and your butt's cold that's right that's why I can't get a finger in there.
Oh, that totally makes sense.
Yeah, dude.
I always have a Choco Taco in there.
Fuck.
My beef of the week.
Let's see.
I've been having a pretty nice-ass week, dude.
Fucking.
Fucking.
Dude.
Probably. fucking dude probably this is bad dude
I mean like I'm not passionate about anything right now
I mean
maybe just my hips
you know my hips have been tight
stretching?
I'm trying to stretch more
and it's affecting my
dancing like today my dead guy's fiancee was watching his show and a commercial came on with
a nice beat to it and so i like to get up and like dance a little bit my hips were a little tight
damn sometimes you know she'd even get horned up if she saw me dancing like that she just kind of
was like oh wow it's because my hips are tight whoa so a couple degrees short of being wet no so i think
i need to get like a good stretch routine maybe do the um yoga pose the manzana pose or whatever
that is that's down though work on that you know what what's that pose called pigeon half pigeon
pigeon's good yeah i would like to is that the one where you like fold the leg i was doing that
it feels so it's great maybe when i do uh when JT and I come over to do the walkthrough of your new plays,
you could show me that.
I was also going to ask you, can we do a tactical walkthrough?
Just see where any intruders could get in.
Entry and exit points.
Yeah, really get a nice escape plan for you
and also traps for the intruders.
Yeah.
Because a good defense is a good offense.
Home alone style.
Correct.
What a beast McAllister was.
Dude, my beef of the week
is with our friend Joe P.,
the aforementioned
bomber of fairways.
I go row at that guy's place today.
He's got a great new water rower.
Tremendous machine.
Just each did a quick 20 minutes
to set our days off right.
He's getting his body tight
for his upcoming wedding,
which he'll be officiating.
Honored.
It's going to be a wedding
for the ages. They're excited too. They know you're going to Honored. It's going to be a wedding for the ages.
They're excited too.
They know you're going to crush it.
It's going to be so much fun, dude.
I'm going to make so many jokes.
No, I'm kidding.
And I go over there and I talk about my life and I'm a blabbermouth.
I take up a lot of the airspace.
And Joe's a tremendous listener.
One of the sweetest, most considerate, most supportive friends any person could ask for.
But then I come over here, run into you.
You coincidentally ran into his lady
yep his dank ass fiance right down the street right down the street you guys talk joe got a
promotion yeah i didn't say nothing dude's a vice president now he's a vice president he's a vp
yeah he didn't say nothing yeah whoa and you know you got the new title you got the increased
responsibility i want to hear about it i want to hear about it joe so i love
your modesty he's a very humble man he is and he has no reason to be humble because he's the
fucking dude but he's just a good guy so he keeps it humble yep but he's and he does this sometimes
he doesn't speak much on it you know and this is the great thing about joe i've known joe forever
the guy's the man dude and you really because he's such a
great listener and i think because we probably do both just talk about ourselves a lot but uh i'd
be like five years into joe i'd be like dude you know this guy's got a sister i'm like i didn't
even know this like he's got siblings yeah i didn't even know that yeah yeah yeah guys he's
the man it's and he's a loving brother but he just uh he's in the you know he's a loving brother. But he just, he's in the, you know, he's very in the moment too. Yes.
Yes.
And he likes his sports.
He likes his entertainment.
He likes just being, and I can just picture him.
He's one of those guys you can just picture.
He's a dude.
He's a dude's dude.
But Joe, congrats on the promotion, man.
Super proud of you, brother.
Tell the world, Joe.
Tell the world.
Oh, they're going to find out.
They're going to find out.
Chad, who's your babe of the week my babe of the week
is
Martin Rees
this dank ass
physicist
I was listening to
on a podcast
oh hell yeah
I was gonna go
with maple syrup
cause I love it
and I put it on
everything now
eggs
hamburger patties
balls and your coffee is a good sweetener oh fuck because I love it and I put it on everything now. Eggs, hamburger patties,
balls.
And your coffee is a good sweetener.
Oh, fuck.
I love you, maple syrup. But Martin Reese is a dang-ass
physicist.
I think we've got
to talk about these guys more because they're
freaking... He's amazing to listen
to. I was listening to him on the Lex Friedman podcast and usually, like I said on the last podcast, I can't really understand what they're freaking he's amazing to listen to i was listening to him on the lex friedman podcast and he and usually like i saw this on the last podcast i
can't really understand what they're talking about half the time because it's so it goes so over your
head i'm like what the fuck are you saying um but i was i was understanding what he's talking about
he's talking about like um the idea of like the universe and how old it is and stuff and it's just
just hearing someone that smart talk about this and the possibilities of like the universe and how old it is and stuff. Just hearing someone that smart talk about this
and the possibilities of existence
and all that kind of stuff just fires me up.
So I wanted to give him a shout out.
Check out that podcast, Lex Friedman.
It's a good episode.
I love that.
Dude, my babe of the week's gotta be my dank ass fiance.
Nice.
We went to the home depot
nothing like doing a nice home depot run with the lady dude just going in there
and we've bought some really nice house plants and she eyeballed it because we have these two little hanging pots right in our entryway to boost stoke we want and we've had them for a while with no
plants in them and i couldn't remember i was like is one bigger than the other and one smaller or the same size she's like i
think one's smaller she's like i think this one will fit in the small one and this one in the big
one and bro this never happens to us they fit perfectly dude wow she eyeballed it and it was
huge dude because you know daddy was gonna have to go do returns on that and the fact that she
just nailed it like that and they look so good and we're just fired up and we're starting to put more plant life in our home
because it really is a stoke booster. Makes it come alive. Yeah. That's another. It's life.
Yes. Like you're literally looking at things grow and exist and it's just, I don't know,
it connects you more to your space. It totally does. And you feel happy in there. So yeah,
dude, thank you for appreciating that. And so really just stoked on her eye i should say her eye and dude an eyeball assessment like that
to understand dimension and congruity like that and she can handle skill 100 and she's well versed
in it because she has a lot of experience of fitting something tiny into something what do you mean yeah what my small penis oh when we make love she knows
what's small and what can fit yeah yeah it was like a big outdoor potted plant she could have
struggled but yeah this was an indoor small potted plant so she really it's like a jarhead when they
say you need to use like reference points for how far away a target is yes like how far is the
target it's like 300 yards like how'd you know it's like three football fields and jimmy fox like yeah
that's how you do it perfect and they say don't use dicks because you'll end up having to say like
6 000 of them oh if it's me if it's one football field that's like
seven billion seven billion billion seven billion seven billion erect seven billion erect penises
you know you know what she'd be good at?
You know in space movies when spaceships connect through docks?
Yeah, docking.
When they dock, she'd be good at docking.
She would be really good at docking.
Because you've got to be really accurate.
And I think with a smaller dong, you've got to be really accurate.
That's a great fucking call.
She would be amazing at docking.
She could even be the voice.
Connection.
Locked. And their cabin pressure needs to air airlock tight it wouldn't be airlocked it'd be this is dick locked tight because nothing
can get in such small dicks i remember when i was showing my gf my dick for the first time
she's like where is it and i was like you see that scoop that goose bump with a little hole
well we all did this.
This is something that we all did.
She's like, you have a pimple on where your dick's supposed to be.
I was like, babe, that's my dick.
Well, that's the thing.
Because you guys were camping, and we all do this with our ladies.
We all pulled our pants to our ankles when we got to the hotel room and said,
Hey, we love you.
We really care about you.
But this is the penis that you're going to be working with.
We let them know.
And when you did that, you thought you had a mosquito bite.
And then you peed out of it.
You know what?
That actually leads into my baby of the week.
My baby of the week is Andrew, Greg, and Chris.
They were my good buddies when we were in sixth grade.
Greg's still one of our good buddies.
The man.
And the other two guys are great guys.
But I haven't seen them in years. We had a slumber party at andrews we go in the pool you're in sixth grade
your body's changing no one knows where the hell anyone else is at but it's all it's all we're
talking about we're like hey dude you don't even have pubes or hey man you don't bust or hey man
like you know you can't bust yeah we're just like're just like, we're just like punking each other through like our own fears and insecurities.
And, and it's the only way you can like feel like you can stay alive or on top.
But we have this nice slumber party and our, and, and then at a certain point we get out of the pool and we're in the room and we're getting ready to like settle into a film.
And all four of us, almost like in the position of a Mexican standoff where it looked like we were all pointing guns at each other.
But it was the opposite effect.
These were guns full of compassion.
We all looked at each other and we said,
hey, should we all just get naked right now?
And all four of us dropped our trunks
and showed each other our penises
and basically really got open and comfortable
with where we were all at
because we were all worried about it.
And,
you know,
you could see patches.
Some guys had more pubes.
Some guys had bigger balls.
Some guys dicks were shaped in a more,
you know,
a traditional way.
And it was such a beautiful bonding moment.
There was no judgment.
And we all just looked and compared and,
and it felt so safe.
And then what made it work too,
is that our buddy Hunter wasn't there.
Cause he was the one who would have blabbed everybody else. What was off about everybody else. felt so safe. And then what made it work too, is that our buddy Hunter wasn't there.
Cause he was the one who would have blabbed everybody else. What was off about everybody else.
And so him not being there created this lovely moment.
We were all just like,
okay,
like it's okay.
We're all,
and we were all about the same,
you know,
there was small differences,
but everything was different than we had represented in conversation prior to
that moment,
but more similar than we could have hoped for. And it was was really nice it was a beautiful beautiful moment i love that that's
great chad who's your legend of the week uh my legend of the week is our co-star sean she was
giving me my legend of the week oh dude let's go do it baby let's go well done dude she's awesome
she's so sweet to us and like you're like she's teaching us things and uh she's just so fun such
a great actor and she really loves it too and she really she loves show us things and she's just so fun. Such a great actor.
And she really loves it too.
And she really,
she loves show.
She loves film.
She loves the craft and it's like very infectious.
And she just been a blast to work with.
I just been,
she's the sister in Fleabag.
If you guys are wondering.
And she's so fun and cool and easygoing,
even though she's like a classically trained actor. She's been in like that show quiz and fleabag and she's,
she's on a different level of acting than we're like, you know, I'm at,
but she treats me like a peer. You know what I mean?
She's so nice and warm and she's always down to rehearse or do anything.
Yeah. And yeah.
Yeah. Being around her easygoing professionalism has been really uh made me feel uh just comfortable
being in a new situation so yeah i'm super grateful to her as well and she's really worked
for where she's at too oh yeah dude she's been grinding yeah and it's like it's very it's very
cool to see someone like her you know getting all this you know uh praise and acclaim and stuff and getting to the level of where she's
on shows consistently and she's goofy too like in between takes just be making it's a big part
of acting she's having fun with your co-star so you feel like you know uh open to trying things
when the cameras are going so yeah it's uh yeah and everyone on the cast. So Sean's the only one we've really worked with consistently.
Everyone's amazing.
They're so fun and sweet.
Like Aaron is like a great dude and super, yeah.
Actors are just really friendly and nice.
Totally.
And the crew.
I love the crew.
I mean, I love just being on sets.
It's a lot of fun.
50 people pulling in the same direction, trying to make something.
It's a, it's a nice thing.
Dude, my legends of the week maybe just you know i'm feeling inspired by you bros right now on this you know your project but what about you guys and the whole team behind chad and jt go deep dude
oh yeah so just got to give a big shout out to dan and the whole crew and just uh what beasts
and i hope the show fucking rips and
everyone gets what they deserve i think it'll be so rad so and when you guys blow up dude if you
change i'm gonna have to punch you guys dude so don't change i was talking about it yesterday
dude if you guys change i'm a huge dude nah dude if you change dude i'm gonna be like what the
fuck i'm really looking forward to it i'm only gonna do it for like a year you're gonna be a
monster dude you're gonna send me on vape runs it for like a year. I'm going to be a monster dude.
You're going to send me on vape runs, dude.
Be like, dude, Strider, how's it going?
I'll be like, oh, dude, good to hear from you.
Can you get me a vape?
In the middle of a pod.
I'm going to say, oh, dude, kind of jonesing for this here.
I'm just going to take this thing for a spin for 20.
Yeah.
No, I promise.
I promise I'm going to change a lot.
I'm going to get crazy eyes.
And then when people say stuff, I'll be like, well, no better time than the present.
Yeah.
And I'm also only going to do things laying down now.
Like I'm only going to podcast laying down.
That's rad.
I'm barely going to be awake.
It's going to take a lot to wake me up.
I'm just going to be in a permanent state of unbothered rest. And it'll be on another phone call while podcasting.
You'll be like talking to someone about something more important.
I'll be doing my own podcast during this podcast.
It's going to be sick.
I'm really looking forward to it.
That's very nice of you, man.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Well, I mean, dude, I think, you know, my mom's featured heavily in the show.
She's amazing.
And dude, people think she's an actress.
Yeah, she's great. Like we talked to some publicists and like some industry folk and they were like
who's that actress who played your mom like that's my mom dude yeah she's the best and then uh but
you're phenomenal thank you dude super fun you're phenomenal like you had some things you said
because you're kind of the de facto narrator of it i hope that doesn't give too much away
but you know you were just
there wasn't a script you were just talking and some of the things you came up with and said were
uh i don't know i don't know where it came from you're inspired by a very unique muse and
and it's my bros dude's kicking it with my blows naturally so it was a great thing to
to get to witness and then to see it get shaped into it was, I don't know,
hugely additive.
Thank you, dude. Thank you, my
bro. So fired up, dude.
Right back at you, bro. You're the glue.
You made it into a piece.
Baby, there's this drink. You got the ice,
you got the liquid, the straw turns
it, you know, a little seasoning on top
with Marisi too. And a little dick.
Marisi's not a dick. I know, but I'm saying with the four horsemen. You wouldn't get vaccinated. So true. top with Maurice too. And a little dick. Maurice is not a shit.
I know, but I'm saying with the four horsemen. He wouldn't get vaccinated.
So true.
So funny, dude.
And also, I think he's the only guy who hasn't had COVID yet too, dude.
Although he probably had it.
He had it at the beginning.
He lost his sense.
He's coming into town tomorrow.
We're all doing a show together.
Let's go.
I'm excited to see him.
I'm not doing it.
He's a beast.
No.
He's a man of principle.
No.
My legend of the week is uh uh it was sean but
i'll also add another one ted sheriff on he's a doctor now yep we found out this guy he used to
work out with in high school he was like a personal trainer to like 10 of us but he didn't charge us
much and then we'd all go over there and pay as a group and we just hang out all the time and
ferrari would make the protein shakes at the end and we just go through some major hypertrophy
training as a team and ted was like our big brother and i can't find him he's not on social and ferrari would make the protein shakes at the end and we just go through some major hypertrophy
training as a team and taj was like our big brother and i can't find him he's not on social media but yeah i was so psyched today to find out he's a doctor dude that's amazing what type
of medicine is he practicing i'm not sure okay did you see the photo i saw the photo yeah it looks
great yeah and he's a great guy and you know he's always involved in health like he was a trainer so
super cool dude always really smart too so i'm not too surprised but he was a great great guy and he loved our stories
and we always used to joke around we're like you only do that so taj likes you more whatever it is
yeah we all want to do impress taj and uh yeah i want to find him i'm gonna call his doctor's
office today uh chad what's your quote of the week uh my quote of the week comes from is thomas's last name whole
yep uh from thomas holt it's not you know he showed me this but i'm just going to attribute
it to him because i've just been saying it to him non-stop stay focused king and then when you hear
that imagine a crown emoji next to it yeah love that that's beautiful uh what's your quote of the week
strider all right this comes from um gonna be doing a history is dank episode with um this is
thucydides he does these uh was one of the leaders of um athens and this is a funeral oration that
he's giving and this is part of like the peloponnesian war so a lot of it's directed
towards sparta it was like a big beef but he's talking about athens here and he says our natural bravery springs from our way of
life not from the compulsion of laws we are lovers of the beautiful yet simple in our tastes and we
cultivate the arts without loss of manliness nice i like that dude uh i'll go with tom hall for my quote of the week this is his bio for the
hospital he works at it's uh under hobbies facts and interests infp game of thrones house baratheon
i grew up on the beach swimming surfing and running beach volleyball then played football
for harvard and worked as an er scribe prior to med school in chicago i like learning about the
cosmos and our history and it minored in art history because i also wanted to see our story as told
by us that's cool i own a lucas film limited edition master replica darth vader lightsaber
and my two favorite movies are pixar's wally and terence malick's the new world
dude yes that's his doctor profile yes the guy's the man that's his doctor profile. Yes. What a beast. That guy's the man.
That's his doctor profile.
By the way, he's jacked, has long hair.
He looks like fucking Brad Pitt from Troy.
Yeah.
And he's going to be your doctor, dude.
Dude.
Let's go.
He comes in.
I remember I called him about my nuts because I bruised my nuts.
He's like, oh, dude, you're nards, bro.
Instantly made me feel better.
You're nards.
Yes.
That's good bedside manner.
That's the thing about he's such a good er doctor unbelievably high stress job yeah he's the most chill dude in
the world like someone would come in with their arm off he'd be like all right dude we got to
stitch this up yeah let's go yeah it's all we can do now okay the best he's a man for all seasons
chad what's your phrase that we're getting after it
my phrase that we're getting after is um uh let's drop out of dental school tonight
nice dude yeah yeah yeah turn to your friends for help those were dark jokes and you know
we do have to say if you're feeling that way you know reach out to the right people you're never
alone dude and now they got a suicide hotline and they changed it to three numbers
to 988 i think is what they switched it to and brian simpson had a joke about how long the suicide
hotline phone number was and how it didn't even spell anything out yeah and then they changed it
so you think yeah i don't know it was on netflix like he had a bit of a special and i think maybe
the joke kicked uh kicked that movement off.
So good on you, Brian Simpson.
Power of humor, Katerion.
Let's see.
Phrase of the week
for getting after
it's got to be
simultaneous dubs.
We had two crews
running the other night
and each of us while on comms
and there's always
a little bit of jealousy
like when the other team
gets a dub while you're on comms.
Bro, we were in simultaneous drop,
different drops,
but at the same time,
we each got dubs.
Yeah, dude.
Let's go.
Dude, and you're going to be on,
so you're on this,
we're doing three podcasts this week
because I'm going out of town,
going to Nantucket to visit family.
Beautiful.
You're going to be on three straight pods.
Let's go. Let's go, bro go bro wetting your beak a little bit i'm fired up baby i love coming and hanging with my boys so
and i hope you guys enjoy the apps my phrase of the week for getting after it this is a good thing
i think to say to someone if uh you want to punk them and you kind of have a little beef, just go, why are you so obsessed with me?
It is great.
I think that always will piss off the other person.
Oh, dude.
Brutal.
When someone says that, you're like, fuck.
I'm not obsessed with you.
Why are you talking about me?
Shut up.
Because what you did is this.
You're obsessed with me.
Why are you so obsessed with me?
They're on their heels.
You got them right where you want them.
It's a great move.
All right, guys.
That was fun.
That was awesome.
I'll end this part with a...
If you need advice
These guys are really nice
You wanna know
What to do
Where to go
When you need someone to guide you I don't know what to do, where to go.
When you need someone to guide you,
there's lots to have to throw beside you.
Go and see.
Go and see.
Let's go deep.
We'll go and eat. We'll go and eat. Bucks 15 We're going deep We're driving 18