Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 251 - Strider Wilson and Joe Marrese Join
Episode Date: August 10, 2022What up stokers! We got Joe and Strider in the building. The four horsemen ride again.  Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping a...t manscaped.com, and use code [GODEEP].  Visit athelticgreens.com/godeep for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.  Just go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and type in GODEEP
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What's up Stokers? Before we begin this podcast, I want to let you know that we have our show on Netflix, Chat and JT Go Deep, coming out August 23rd.
You can search the show right now on Netflix. You can add it to your favorites so you can get ready and get notified right when it drops.
You can watch day of and it also helps us with the algorithm so it can get circled around and we can bring the Stoke nationwide.
So check that out out can't wait for
you guys to see it i know you're gonna love it uh we also are going on tour we got dates coming up
we're hitting north carolina south carolina uh we got boston date that just dropped in november
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All right.
Let's start the show. show me the curve in your feet and let's get hot dog on a stick what's up stokers of stoke nation
this is chad croker with the going deep with chad jt podcast i'm here with my compadre john thomas what up boom clap
stokers here with the um with the uh the t with the t dartasaurus let's go strider wilson
fired up on that and we have moniker we have two more guests the big hog, Joe, and his cock.
Guys, it's great to be here.
Yeah, man.
It's good to have you back. It's awesome to be back.
It's been like a year since we did one of these.
Well, all four of us?
Yeah.
I think so, maybe.
Yeah, it's four horsemen.
But I've done two with you guys.
We did one live in Austin, and we did one uh a couple months ago here but
yeah the four of us yeah this is nice that's why i'm uh drinking a pacifico beautiful cheers it's
good beer oh it's beautiful to see both just drinking mexican lager it was a great sound too
that was a great clank yeah it was clean great start yeah we're no strangers to uh clinking
beers that's right i'm a big big cheers guy i cheers every time yeah i like to talk a little
bit and then there will be a natural kind of moment you know like a rising kind of energy to
the conversation everyone kind of laughs and then
you look around the table you go now's the moment you go hey guys put them up cheers it's right
it's very nice it's a beautiful thing so we got a long day and night ahead of us so we better uh
yeah we're doing the pod or pace it but then we're gonna work out yep oh you two are
working out yeah i'm gonna make no i'm not working out yeah he's gonna work out with no i showered
already that's it no i think we're gonna throw some dumbbells once i shower i have i try to avoid
sweat joe you're looking trim though yeah thank you yeah yeah i look great i yeah congratulations
yeah i don't know what it is because i don't eat well i think
it's uh but you're walking everywhere yeah i walk everywhere i do a lot of accidental rocking
what's you know what rocking is you like carry a bag that's heavy yeah like yeah basically like
walking with weights right like a rock sack if you have like a weighted backpack like it burns
like three times the calories of just regular walking right but i do it like with groceries
and like stuff in my backpack what kind of groceries are we talking about i mean we're
talking bananas almond milk uh this is heavy stuff peanut butter that's dense yeah it's all dense
and to the bad diet thing i
think a lot of it i'll my weight's pretty low right now and i haven't been eating well but
when you eat bad things they keep you full for longer like i had like for dinner last night i
just had a cup of chocolate mousse whoa but i didn't need anything else but that's like 300
calories if you eat like a sandwich with like like a side of vegetables and then like a
starch,
that's like a thousand.
And I will eat like,
I do eat vegetables every day at some point.
I do have healthy stuff,
but on the whole,
I,
I,
I don't think I'm eating healthy,
but I'm in the best shape I've been in.
Your portions are low though,
right?
Yeah.
I do low portions.
Um,
and then I don't like, don't snack yeah really are there
any vegetables that upset you no at this age now i pretty much like all of them but do you ever just
like look at broccoli and you're like fuck that no i love it what about a cucumber do you look at
it and go my penis is like three of you and i don't like i yeah go ahead huge cocks no i don't like whoa i don't like the way cucumbers
taste you know i like them in a salad yeah you like that texture yeah but like on its own have
you ever put salt on one no try it that's a very adult it's a very i'm gonna do it it's a delicacy it's very good
i like you bullying me into eating cucumbers i do like also to your theory it will fill you up
low calories and hydrate you yeah they're very refreshing people say that people say like you'll
be more full if you eat healthy i have not found that to be the case when i eat i don't even think
like all healthy i'm just saying that's a filling ass food cucumbers yeah really yeah it's big it's a fucking big ass thing oh if you eat a whole one
yeah yeah yeah if you eat a whole i don't see right cucumber when i order sushi rolls i don't
trust anyone yeah i think it's a nuisance i do too you don't even like it in the sushi yeah i mean
now we're getting crazy since joe you know it's a texture thing it's the crunch i'll show you what
i don't need the crunch i'll let you taste i respect that. You know, it's a texture thing. It's the crunch. I'll show you what it is. I don't need the crunch.
I'll let you taste the flavorless. Hey, it's your role.
Enjoy it how you enjoy it.
Wait, Joe.
Okay.
Big cue for you.
Yeah.
Brussels sprouts with bacon and, you know, some like balsamic on them.
Is that correct?
Yeah.
Roasted.
Roasted appetizer or side?
And mine, do you remember the bacon and the balsamic.
Someone actually asked me about you saying
or picking Brussels sprouts as an appetizer on my podcast,
like what I thought about it.
Oh, whoa.
And I thought it was ridiculous.
Yes.
Ridiculously cool?
No, I thought Brussels sprouts are totally just a side dish.
But now throwing in, I didn't hear the bacon.
That's what I'm saying.
And the balsamic.
Okay, now you're in the club.
Thank you.
No way.
You brought the ladies with you.
No, it's not.
Now you're in.
Now you have entry.
It's still a side.
There are a lot of menus.
I don't know.
It's listed as an app on a lot of menus.
Do they have sides on those menus or do they just have appetizers? Right below it's listed as an app on a lot of menus that's just do they have sides on those menus
or do they just have appetizers
right below it's wings
right above that
is avocado
no but what I'm saying
is on those menus
oh do they also have
other things
do they have sides
as a category
some of them probably
what's the place
you referenced
it's Cheesecake Factory
no the first one
when we did the draft
oh Laurel Tavern
yeah it's on there
as an app
but do they have
a sides category as well I don't know that question let me look it up you can check it out i mean that
that really doesn't matter to me because french fries are a side or an app like it's the same
thing well i think it does matter if they don't have extra categories well here's the thing yeah
french fries is the same thing here's the thing everyone was dogging you because it just said
brussels sprouts but for me i'm like it's all in the preparation
if it's brussels sprouts with bacon and balsamic on there yeah that's different yeah that's that
i thought it was just straight up they don't have a sides category cool no that place is rips well
it could be under but but when you were making that no all i said was all i said was they had
an appetizer that's a Brussels sprouts.
And I referenced those ones.
Right.
But if they had a sides category as well, they might move the Brussels sprouts there.
Now we're in a hypothetical.
I mean, you know, I don't know.
Well, yeah.
What atmosphere are we in?
It's not under star.
I really couldn't tell you.
Because I do think that it's more of a.
Look, I got to call my lawyer.
If you're going to ask me that question, I I gotta call my lawyer. Kevin? Yeah, I gotta
call the schmole. I gotta call the schmole.
If my options are shared salad sandwiches
and burgers and
sweet tooth, yeah, I'll put Brussels sprouts
in the shared. But
if there was a side category,
I think it would go there.
Here's my... I don't think
you'd get Brussels sprouts
as a side with bacon and balsamic.
I've never heard of that.
Oh, it's so bomb.
No, as a side.
Oh, yeah, as a side.
It doesn't seem like it goes with a dish.
You would get a steamed Brussels sprout as a side.
Yeah, it doesn't seem like it goes with a dish.
It's the same thing as French fries.
You would get cheese fries as an app.
You wouldn't get cheese fries as a side.
It's the exact same thing.
That's all I'm saying.
But look, Chris won.
I'm happy to move on.
And then at Cheesecake Factory, they put everything.
That's what I was saying.
Greg made that point.
Small plate snacks and appetizers.
Yes.
He came back at me with that, yeah.
Look, baby, it's an app.
Or is it a snack or a small plate?
We don't know.
I mean.
Those Brussels sprouts you explained.
Are wings on that same menu?
I mean, by that rationale, wings might be a snack or a small plate.
We don't know.
I don't know.
Right?
I think Joe's the ultimate judge.
Joe is the abdicator.
Or not the abdicator.
What is it called?
The guy who fucking makes decisions?
The adjudicator. The adjudicator.
Adjudicator.
The Brussels sprouts.
See, I'm big on words.
They matter.
The words do matter.
I hear you.
Joe's the voice of God when it comes to food, beer, and men.
Thank you.
Yeah, that's right.
A fucking man.
And that one, yeah, I'll say that's an appetizer.
I appreciate it.
With the bacon and the balsamic.
Or maybe it means snack
small plate so do you have any any love interest in your life anyone here
me yeah no no um i haven't had time to focus on that lately right yeah i just i've been doing uh
some personal stuff nice we have that lady in stuff nice i do yeah i have like a secret
admirer that like writes in and like who she just sent me a picture just a woman that listens to the
podcast and yeah it's kind of like she'll like hint at like she'll be like, hey, like she asked me like, hey, what dirty talking do you like to do?
And like, what do you want your like things?
What are you interested in a partner?
And then she'll like do like wink wink like, oh, maybe it could be me kind of a thing.
Like, so, yeah, I'm into that.
Maybe.
Do you talk back to her?
Yeah, I actually did like respond
physically to the email like all the emails i'll respond to on the podcast but her i actually
wrote one back and i that was the first time i did that what'd you say
what she said shows she's like i'm going on a date are you jealous and i said yeah i am oh nice i like you being honest about it yeah i was jealous who was the date with
did she describe the guy no i don't want to i don't want to know about the guy
yeah i think she yeah because she said she's into younger guys
um yeah because she's like new to the dating scene she's like recently divorced so
she's trying to get out there and she's into guys like me which is uh like a lot of women
it's not hard to see why i agree yeah so but yeah no no love interests at the moment nice that's probably good it's not
good right well people it's probably good this guy's got a girlfriend hanging out in the
in the room over there oh yeah it's probably good yeah it is true it's funny like like wellness
philosophy will tell you like hey you have to
be okay by yourself no you don't i've talked about this many times that's bullshit but sorry go ahead
no i think you're right it is life is better when you have it yeah it's like come on what
are you talking about you need someone to bounce things off of yeah things come alive more yeah
i mean you just can't be like oh does this
shirt look good you're just looking at yourself you want to ask somebody do you talk out loud
i do that a lot though i talk out loud to myself when i'm wearing stuff um i usually don't i don't
talk to myself out loud maybe i should maybe that's better i don't know i don't know my dad
used to mutter a lot to himself he'd just be driving
he'd be like cocksucking motherfucker why the fuck did you do that piece of shit
about himself no he'd be talking to somebody else like some guy he was pissed at oh really
yeah and then i'd be like dad what happened and he'd tell me some gnarly story that i shouldn't
have heard yeah like i got into a fight at a bar this guy fucking stepped in because of this shit i was like
that's fucked up man yeah and then uh he'd just be muttering about it but i do that too i give
myself like pump up speeches when i'm just hanging out yeah that's good it sounds like a positive
thing yeah it's a lot it's energy it's good nice stoked you're back dude it's good to have you back
in the room baby yeah i gotta tell you
like when i visited here in may i was kind of like uh feels weird to be back but then i was
uh my friend kelly picked me up from the airport as i was like driving back and then getting back
into the neighborhood over here i was like it feels great to be here. Just feeling all kinds of nostalgic feelings.
Went to Erewhon, went to the park, and I was like, wow, this feels great being here right now.
You love being back?
Yeah.
Yeah, it feels nice.
Well, we miss you.
Yeah, I mean, I would like to get back like a lot.
It would be cool to come here like once a month.
Right.
You could come back
full-time i could yeah there's always the option yeah yeah i don't nothing's permanent i'm not
you know i don't know yeah do you picture yourself as like an old person in austin i mean yeah i i doubt it but i don't really picture myself as an old
person in los angeles yeah yeah yeah i mean that's also true like walking on melrose when i'm like 65
yeah probably not through like pop-up shops i think that's more of a newport kind of a thing
kids with like crazy haircuts and like new races i've never seen before yeah i don't think you want to be strolling down melrose at 65 melrose is on the cutting edge
of like everything oh yeah haircut complexion shoes stuff i've never seen before yeah well
yeah we'll be we'll be on melrose later we'll see. Would you have sex with an alien?
Um, man.
What do they look like, though?
Not like one of the green ones.
Yeah, it's hot.
She's hot, but she's green.
Like the Independence Day ones with the...
You know, I'm not going to do one of those.
It could have good suction, though.
Suction of what?
Your cock.
Bullshit.
They won't.
You think those aliens know how to handle a hog?
There's no way.
Dude, have you seen...
They're not slimy.
They're not trained for that.
Dude, do you see how slimy they are?
You'd have sex with an alien, right?
Fuck yeah.
But I think Joe would be the one that our world would send
because you're representative of our dicks
it would be our strongest
would you say they look like what though?
they're hot but they're green
yeah then yeah
yeah hot and green
I have no problem with that
would you dirty talk an alien?
like take that you ET fuck
yeah this is what the earth
earth is about take some earth hog in you
take take that back to your galaxy because we could have a ceremony where it's like we're
creating a hybrid of their species and ours you know it? It's like Joe and then the alien.
And so...
Yeah, they can model the hog for their species.
Yeah, it'd be like a green alien with a huge dick.
I'm into that.
Do you think aliens, do you think their cultures are consumerist
do you think that's right it's tough to say because we can only view it through the lens
of our human experience and we're very consumerist right gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme they might be
totally different who knows they might dude our brain might not be able to comprehend what they look like all of our avalian movies what are they they like use resources and move on they're like
the evil that man commits like the aliens in independence day but they might be into some
crazy shit we don't even know about they might be beyond consuming yeah you know yeah it could be
another dimension exactly they could be here right now but our brains can't see it yeah right
put that in your pipe and smoke it so that's pretty wild i mean yeah so it's tough we have
to anthropomorphize but fucking i don't know i hope they're benevolent dude if they are in this
dimension hypothetically they'd be made of the same elements as us, right? Carbon.
Are we carbon-based?
Yeah, all life forms have carbon in them.
So if they're carbon-based, they probably would be pretty similar.
Yeah, there was a theory one time that I heard on this podcast, Little Atoms,
that evolution moves in a direction.
Yeah.
So actually when we went to see alien planets, we'd be startled by how similar they were to us.
Dude, if they looked just like us, that'd be hilarious. that'd be hilarious but so gnarly yeah that would be cool but then if the
climate of their of their home was different i imagine that there would be different right things
that would be emphasized yeah i just wanted do they need to be in like the goldilocks because
we're in like the goldilocks zone where the temperature's just right so does all life need
to be in that yeah does all life need goldilocks it's like they're close
enough to a sun with water that's like where earth is around the star the girl from the
no same thing but it's the idea extrapolated to uh you know life the middle porridge
which is fucking sick dude that was a great of what was your favorite childhood parable story
what's yours uh that's a good question i like
it's not a parable but i like ricky ticky tabby i remember i like that name but i forget that
story it's the mongoose he kills cobras that's badass and that name i know that's a great or
what's your favorite what's your favorite tall tale oh pico's pete was always cool
pico's bill yeah you guys never heard of p pick us beat them tall tales like john henry
oh i don't know yeah like paul bunyan did you read those no johnny apples he didn't read john
smith none of them or no that's awesome i also don't remember yeah you don't remember childhood
no i don't remember anything dude they're pretty fun it's like these large in the life western
characters i reset every morning davy crockett's great but he was real wasn't
davy crockett real he's the one who died at the alamo and he wore he was the first guy to wear
the raccoon hat that's yeah it's pretty bad oh yeah that guy's beast oh davy crockett yeah yeah
everyone one of those he was so cool he started wearing that hat
and people weren't like cool hat they were like that's fucking sick that's how you know that
you're the man dude dude he just puts on that hat and he's just with chicks yeah exactly they're
like i need to get a freaking raccoon skin hat yeah but paul bunyan was sick he's the one who
created the great lakes with his footsteps because he was so big and house flapjacks and the grand canyon too right dragging his axe it cut a hole yeah new mexico
i don't think i've heard these stories they're pretty fun that's pretty wild yeah i remember
the tom sawyer sure he's a thing yeah i don't think I've ever heard of it. Blue Ox.
I know the Berenstain Bears.
Yeah, babe.
Who are they?
Babe, yeah.
There's a bunch of bears.
Speaking of dimensions.
A family of bears, they're pretty endearing.
You know the theory on the Berenstain Bears with dimensions, right?
No.
Because it's actually, Aaron, do you know about this?
It's actually like Berenstain Bears.
Right.
Yes. Right. But everyone says it wrong so there's a theory that like i don't know how it goes but like that it's in another dimension people say it that way yeah
it's like crossed over to ours yeah but it's probably just some other bullshit why do they
call it the mandela effect because people when he got out of prison people thought he was in bed oh it's just a public
Nelson Mandela pretty cool dude pretty cool guy absolutely a lot of respect Nelson Mandela yeah
solid dude dude to go to prison then better themselves impressive yeah
exactly if you could have dinner with Cameron yeah yeah cameron poe is a
huge prison political prisoner big time nice he he lived a good prison life too the best bro he
like reads philosophy and gets jacked and became really good buddies with his buddy does origami
dude yeah with baby oh i gotta re-watch that so fucking good dude what were you saying i was gonna say
if you could have dinner with one politician pastor present who would it be oh good question
oh i'll just keep lobbing this is i did a podcast today this is just fresh on my mind but maybe
aristotle more of a philosopher but also that'd be cool he says man is a political animal poly
meaning city so we're and you guys were talking about this we're meant to live in a city with people so man the perfected man is the highest form of creature but the perfected man is
cooperating and communicating with other and he uses the nature argument where he's like
we have speech and you know we've obviously learned this now like whales have dialects all
that shit but this is before all that but he's like the fact that we have speech and can communicate
means we are cooperative means man should be with each other communicating interacting an isolated man is a
dangerous bad thing and that can be the downfall of democracies and that's like the sapiens argument
too that what made us the most prominent species on the planet at least according to us is that
we have the ability to believe in and cooperate around abstract ideas correct you could you can
get someone to crash into a building with an airplane
and promise them something in the afterlife.
You can't get any other creature to do that.
No.
I don't care how many bananas you promise someone.
If you could convince dogs to be terrorists.
Hey, we can convince them to be soldiers, which is badass.
If I had just like a thousand golden retrievers at my disposal
and I was like, hijack that plane.
And who do I hate exactly i'd
be like i hate gold i hate yellow labs we're gonna go bomb yellow labs dude golden retrievers
hijacking a plane this is awesome and then they fuck you over that that would be they all shave
their heads for some reason oh yeah there was just a line in there shut the fuck up and you're like oh i think i would have either marcus aurelius that's sick oh that's good yeah
you'd also have i was gonna go for a jokey one but no i don't want what was your jokey one
jesse ventura no that'd be really fun that'd be cool he's a wrestler he was in predator
dude his voice is amazing yeah what do you think about the set of tower seven think about it okay
think about it what was going on it's got a little vincent d'onofrio
i mean i yeah i think he's entertaining what'd you have jim i don't know what about like julius
caesar oh dude oh it's a great one, dude.
Do they have bad manners?
Do they have similar dinner manners?
All these old timers?
It's a good question.
Do they have utensils?
I don't know the Romans.
I have bad breath.
No, you've got great breath. No, I have bad breath.
My girlfriend sent me a dentist contact.
Whoa.
Have you ever heard of a toothbrush?
I brush my teeth.
I think it's just from wear and tear.
Some people have that.
I just got to take care of it.
Did you know I was actually thinking about this?
The vape.
No, not the vape.
Wear and tear.
Was he got a Toyota Camry in his mouth?
Mouth breathing is what gives you bad breath.
I think I got something going on.
I mean, she loves me despite it, but I got to get my teeth cleaned.
Maybe it's the vapes.
I think it's, yeah, I think it's probably the vape too.
But yeah, she just sent me a contact and said,
hey, hit this up before you leave town.
I was like, damn, bro.
Yeah, I'm on it.
But then I kept asking her.
I kept going, do I have bad breath?
And she was like, no, no, you don't have bad breath.
And I was like, all right, well, you're like sending me dentist info.
But then yesterday she's been sick.
And it wasn't even that bad.
But I kissed her.
I was like, you got bad breath.
And she got mad.
She goes, you have bad breath. I was like, I knew it.
You're hilarious. I knew it. It's's not gonna be any more kissy face and then i went and then she said
the funniest thing i go why why didn't you tell me i had bad breath and she looks she goes it's
something just all women have to accept oh like dudes all dudes have bad breath bullshit most
people don't have bad breath but most people don't have bad breath
but if someone
was going to have bad breath
it's probably dudes
yeah
I agree
mostly guys
because we're eating butt
all day
100%
yeah
like you guys come over
we eat each other's asses
for a couple hours
yes we make some steaks
and we head out
it's no big deal
but it catches up to you
yeah
that's a great call
you know my dank ass fiance
I told her
when I was in college that I didn't go to the dentist for seven years that's a great call you know my dank ass fiance i told her when i was in college that i
didn't go to the dentist for seven years that's disgusting and she like made a dental appointment
for me and she's like go yeah she's like i'll pay for it she's like i have to kiss your mouth and i
went no cavities dude i never have cavities i have bad breath and i don't floss that much i never get
cavities that's good i used to get had tons of cavities as a kid.
I had soft teeth.
I had like 20.
What's soft teeth?
Are they literally softer than the touch?
I don't know.
Either that's a thing or they're basically just like you eat way too much candy.
But we're going to call it soft teeth because I ate a shitload of candy
and would just wake up and drink Coca-Cola.
That was my whole diet as a kid.
I ate Skittles all day and I felt amazing.
Dude, yeah, I was eating fudgesicles. Put them in my butt i wasn't cavities up there either let's go oh fudgesicles i forgot
about those you're big on choco tacos right now i don't know if you want to bring it back up but
is that a real thing that choco taco's gone yeah dude yeah that was my saying it's a it's a
marketing scheme oh to like draw demand yeah that was that was my go-to at the ice cream truck as a kid.
It's so good.
Unbelievable.
Summer camp.
My go-to is just hanging out with Phil in the back.
Nothing weird.
What are you doing in the back of the ice cream truck?
That sounds weird.
He would just tell me about his life.
He's like, yeah, my brother, he was a cop, but I had been in the military.
He tried to fight me when I came back, and I told him, look, man, I fight to the death.
Like cool anecdotes like that. And you were 10 he was what like maybe 35 40 probably yeah
that's pretty cool no but like we were legit friends like we had a good relationship she
would just talk to me about stuff it was nice did he teach you any moves because you're always a
good fighter early on like you fight well i got beat up a couple times but thank you but you got
in the ring you always got back in the ring. You were a pretty good fighter when you took down.
Yeah, yeah, I mean.
Did you guys get in a legit fight?
That was a, yeah.
Our boy was coming in hot, and I had transgressed.
It was my fault.
I'm going to blank out his name, though.
Let's blank out his name.
My boy, I thought it would be funny, because he had a huge cock like Joe, not as big.
And I was like, everyone needs to see this.
He's hiding this gift from the world
people need to see this so then i pantsed him oh and i'm like that's inappropriate i can't pull
down someone's pants and expose them and then he got pissed off rightfully so and then but he did
let it swelter in like 25 minutes later but at least i'm just hanging out he comes charging at
me oh and then i just kind of had to put him down.
I wasn't going to fight him.
I was like, dude, fuck.
You were like, calm down.
Calm down.
Yeah.
Because we're boys.
And I knew I fucked up.
And then JT came over and separated and calmed.
Dude, there was also that time where that old guy choked me out.
Dude, that was the best thing of all time, dude.
It was amazing, dude.
We were at a party and there was this old guy who kept arm wrestling all the teenagers. he was being way too aggro it was like a after party for a like a youth football
team and i was like 20 or something and i just he kept being macho so i kept smacking his ass
and then this old guy goes you smacked my ass one more time and i will fuck you up he's like a dad
and he was a dad his kid was there and i I'm like, okay, dude. Okay, dude. Turns around and I smack his ass again.
Then he flips back and he's got like a fucking bear claw.
Yeah.
Puts it around my neck and starts choking me.
Oh, whoa.
And I start laughing.
But then he starts to really apply pressure.
And I start to, the air's leaving and I'm starting to go out.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Wow.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
And everyone was just watching.
Like my brother and Strider were there but they didn't
no one knew no one knew what to do like a dad was choking out a kid yeah and then and he kept going
and then thank god my friend emily whose house it was was like stop and she put her arms around the
guy and the guy not knowing it was her threw his arm up and she went flying over a table whoa and then
every dude shoots and then every dude just ran in yeah wow grab the dad and he he was so funny
they had the dad and you know they had his arms hooked and he was just staring at me screaming
in front of all these parents and kids he's like he grabbed my ass he grabbed my ass and then it was amazing that's amazing
and then they made him leave and then we got kicked out yeah grab my ass we should have been
kicked out for sure but like he this guy definitely should have been kicked out it was so funny dude
was that guy drinking too yeah he was up he had like that like where you can feel someone's like alcohol like every time they breathe like
red face that like scotch and steak face you know it was like coming out of his pores yeah and uh
yeah he choked me good he had a fucking month i couldn't get his hand dude it was a powerful
grip but i remember because it snuck up because it was so hilarious and you kept stopping that
jt was choking but laughing he's like because it was and we're like oh this must be funny but yeah emily picked up on it first where
she was like this is actually serious yeah and then there was like some football players there
like usc football players it's like that dad would have got his ass kicked like right it would have
taken like five yeah five or six it was gonna take all of he was buff dude he was a strong dad he was
built like uh like that like a suitcase and he had energy he had he had an anger to him yeah he was upset can you imagine coming
home after that to your like wife how's your day going to bed grab my ass i choked him out
bro so funny dude he grabbed my ass he just kept slapping this guy's ass yeah he just kept
touching his butt there is something so funny about doing that, dude.
Was it a hard ass?
You also did a little tickle at one point.
You're like, dude, that's a great point.
Are you smacking it? I forget his name.
He's like, great point, Roger.
No, I was being stupid.
I wasn't smacking.
I just kept touching it.
Oh, yeah, that is annoying.
It was, yeah.
If you're smacking it, it's like, all right, yeah, let's go.
It's kind of sporty. But when you're doing that, it's like, all right, yeah, let's go. It's kind of sporty, but when you're doing that,
it's like weirdly sexual.
And he was probably like,
yeah, don't do that.
I'll choke you out.
I'll grab your ass, Joe.
Oh, man.
Yeah, please do.
Would you guys bone a robot?
No.
Really? Yes, I've seen weird science. Oh, she's Yeah, please do. Would you guys bone a robot? No. Really?
Yes, I've seen weird science.
Oh, she's a robot in that?
Yeah.
She might be the most beautiful woman.
What was her name?
Brock?
Kelly LeBrock.
Right, she's a robot, right?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
But yeah, it was a fake.
Yeah, Kelly LeBrock.
Yeah, I totally wanted to pork the fembots in Austin Powers.
They were super hot.
Yeah, bro.
That song's so good, too.
When I think about you, I touch myself.
Oh, I don't want anybody else.
When I think about you, I touch myself.
And then they're like, whoa.
You know who Kelly LeBrock was married to?
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
Don't say it.
Do you guys know?
Macho Man.
Jesse the Bon Ventura.
I'll give you, he's an action movie star.
Sean Claude.
You're almost there.
Oh.
A lot of open hand strikes.
Chuck Norris.
No.
Dolph Lundgren.
No.
Jet Li.
Runs like a girl.
Big. Big dude. Ponytail. No. Jet Li. Runs like a girl. Big.
Big dude.
Ponytail.
Steven Seagal.
Triple H.
Whoa, Steven Seagal.
Oh, wow.
Nice.
Good for him.
Dude, when I brought up his car at valet one time, I think I've talked about this before.
He just goes,
I don't know what I'm going to say.
And I was like, what are you saying?
I don't know what I'm going to say.
I was like, bro, I don't know what you're saying. What saying i was like bro i don't know what you're
saying what car do you have it was unreal bro how do you look at person dude a little bit bloated
a little bit of that scotch and stick energy yeah still got that ponytail a sheen to him
still had the ponytail how long ago was this this is like a couple years five years now maybe is he big he's a big boy he's tall a little bit of weight to him yeah he's got some heft and
didn't he just get famous for being like someone's personal trainer michael ovitz the guy who started
caa he was his aikido instructor and ovitz was so powerful in the early 80s and you know steven
scott probably he's got some charisma to him in his own weird way Ovitz was like feeling himself so much
he's like
I can make a movie star
out of this guy
great call
and then made it happen
I was gonna ask you guys this
this just made me think of it
the lotto's at like
a billion dollars now
oh yeah
Jack sent us an article
about this
yeah
I think that
if I won the lotto
I would still want to
kick it with my boys
but I'd probably hire
a bunch of expert dudes
to like
I'd hire a judo trainer I'd hire like a fucking chef to teach me like all these like a dude i'd
like i'd like hire some guy to give me like the dad experience of like fixing up an old bike
yeah i would do all that stuff time to like improvement and all these cool disciplines
it's kind of like that's one of the parts of the matrix is that you can just plug that uh
tentacle into the back of your head
and learn anything.
They'll just inundate you with the knowledge of it.
That would be, I'd probably do the same thing if I was a billionaire.
I'd just be like, give me all the knowledge.
Because you'd have the time.
Now your time is whatever you want it to be.
And then, yeah, why not fill it with these fucking rad things?
And then, of course, boys trips.
100.
I had that same, like i i was looking up
because i wanted to learn how to fix a tire yeah like change oil and just basic car shit now that
you got a did your gf inspire you with that are you like i need to be able to handle stuff way
to jump her car and like i had to google the shit and it's like kind of embarrassing yeah
i don't have to google how to jump a car like you know dude that's brave of you to say that
on this platform dude thanks dude i appreciate it yeah but you got to look that up you got to know what you're doing with those cables you don't want
to stick things in any hole because i'm used to sticking things in holes yeah i mean but you got
to look at the hole first and inspect it or sometimes you just throw it in there
sometimes you just throw it in there.
Sorry.
It also kind of makes sense.
It's like,
it makes sense why like Jeff Bezos now wants to go to space because he's already experienced so much of like the excitement and adrenaline that our
terrestrial life has to offer that it is like easy to make fun of.
But also it makes very obvious sense to me that you would chase that next.
I'm surprised more entertainers don't just go into the military or something just to find that next larger fix of excitement.
Yeah, like the Tiger Woods doing the Navy SEAL thing was very much about his dad and stuff too, but also the guy's experienced everything.
Yeah.
What else?
And you want to be in service of something bigger and something more exciting and like well where do
you go from being like one of the top athletes yeah but there's so much or maybe you play a game
less boring than golf but yeah but there's so much in this world you think people experience
this entire world that they need more no but i mean you can't get around all these continents
and all these countries you can't even get to all the restaurants in los angeles true but like yeah that's the cool thing about being an actor too is you can take on roles where
you have to learn this shit about how to use guns yeah there's stuff like that it's like they it's
basically like you can learn all these like tom cruise knows how to do so much shit fly helicopters
airplanes guns motorcycles he's incredible motorcycle base jumping skydiving jets jets
yeah you know benny and the jets yeah that's cool i would definitely go to space
for sure yeah when you do shrooms that's where you go yeah you're like i'm going to space oh
really that's good you should we're looking you should make a documentary about that and just like
be you trying to go to space
I would totally do that
that'd be cool
and people would watch that
I just think it's so funny
there's like billionaires with their white ass teeth
you know just strapped in
you know how your head shakes when you're just smiling
and isn't it like 10 minutes
like you orbit for like literally a little bit
and they bring you right back
like whoa
wait for like 10 minutes to get there orbit for like literally a little bit and then they bring you right back. They're like, whoa.
Whoa.
You wait like 10 minutes to get there?
No, I think like, yeah.
Come on.
You're spamming a can, dude.
Yeah, would you rather be in like a fighter jet,
experience that, or go to space?
I think the fighter jet would be too intense.
You'd get too nauseous, yeah.
Yeah, I'd throw up.
Does it feel that intense on the spaceship as well or is it a little smoother of a ride?
That's the thing.
I don't know because in Top Gun 2
the experience of
the intense Gs
I assume it's got to be
intense on the spaceship but I don't know if it's
the same kind of feeling. Can you vape in space?
That might be a factor.
They just came out and said
they don't think there's ever been sex in space
as far as I know.
Oh that if you pop wood and someone climbs up to the tip of your wood that's
technically outer atmosphere it's all fucking fat your hog is dude that was how big your boner is
dude oh fuck it's my bro joe he's got a big boner yeah do joe i heard your um when you're erect it creates
precipitation like clouds form you know you know in like hawaii when the mountains are high enough
yeah it is known to cause a bit of a marine layer if you will yeah i heard if you're lost in the
wilderness and you get a boner compasses will make that the true north. And people can get lost. Yeah, that's the best use
of the hog, actually.
I'm glad to help out,
help people find their way.
You know, the Egyptian pyramids are actually
modeled after
Joe's hog. Yes, yes.
Did you guys see this thing that,
there's a new article about SSRIs that say
they don't help depression?
Oh, really? I really tom cruise was right right
what are ss oh yeah i saw a clip about him recently tonin inhibitors i don't know what
the actual breakdown is but it's the standard i think like lexapro okay the idea that there's
no such thing as a chemical imbalance right or that they they huberman was saying i'm piecing
this up from not reading a single article but i'm happy to dive into it on a public platform
uh huberman was saying that maybe they don't think it's actually
uh serotonin that's affecting depression that it might be another chemical component of the brain
right but uh yeah it's pretty nice but i will say like i don't i don't know the heads or tails of
any of it but my psychiatrist is hilarious because he's insanely well educated but i'll ask him i'll be like uh like in in periods of time where i've been hyper anxious
or whatever i've been like maybe we need to try something else he's like yeah we can try
lamictal which i don't think is an ssri but i'll be like let's and i'm like well will it work he's
like we have no idea it's roll the dice he's like it's literally just you know trial and error like
you just try different things and some things will work and we don't even
know why they exactly work.
It just is based off your anecdotal experience of it.
Yeah.
I mean, I think, you know, in the Tom Cruise thing,
he talks about like ADD medication.
You're being glib, Matt.
Yeah, you're being glib.
He's like, you don't know what Ritalin is.
You don't even know what it is, Matt.
Yeah, I just.
Matt, that's amazing.
I literally just saw that's amazing I literally
just saw that somebody that was going around Instagram the only part where Cruz goes wrong
yeah is when he goes you don't understand this stuff I do right if he just would have left it
you don't understand yeah that would have been fine it's just when Tom Cruise goes I do understand
yeah all right Tom like yeah like he sounded like he really knew what he was talking about he's a confident
dude yeah i mean it's uh i i you know when i was prescribed adderall i when i started taking i was
like i don't think i should be on this shit you know no it's bad for me i have an addict brain
so i just started abusing it and i got it from like some cheap lowbrow doctor who slung me pills
for no reason yeah me too i mean no he's, no, he's actually a solid guy from Berkeley.
No, my doctor was like straight drug dealing.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
What?
I think they only took cash.
Really?
The doctor only took cash?
This took place behind an ice cream truck as well.
Well, I don't want to say where it is in case someone goes in there,
but it was like next to a Whole Foods, I'll say that say that but it was a doctor's office it's funny when the tom
chris thing came out because he's talking about vitamins exercise and at the time i was like
vitamins idiot but now i'm like yeah you should get vitamins but i don't know yeah i don't
understand any of that stuff so i can't really speak on it but
you've never been on anything right nothing prescribed but i take vitamins i never did
multivitamins and stuff i think they do you feel a boost for sure with multivitamins yeah yeah i
think so i mean caffeine's the only thing caffeine and alcohol are like stuff that i know that i feel
and shrooms dude fucking legit dude well yeah that's like cbd i can't do cbd because it's i need something that's a little more perceptible
like yeah with cbd i'm like although the stuff that glassman gave me fucked me up right yeah
that made me wonky as shit but for the most part i've never had a reaction to it yeah do you try
cbd no i never have yeah i'm afraid to try like druggy stuff.
Right.
Yeah.
I've just had too many weird experiences.
I got shrooms in my bag.
You want to do them tonight
before we do stand-up?
I'm not doing it.
Yeah, right.
The shrooms before stand-up
would seem pretty gnarly to me.
After stand-up, nice release.
Yeah.
Are you going to do them?
Tonight?
Yeah.
No, but last time we did our show
at the Improv
I was on Mushrooms
it was fun
the older I get
the more
like
I just need to be
in control more
like I
I used to just be like
I'm gonna get blacked out
it's gonna be
but I just
I don't know
you got responsibility
I'm getting more prudish
about a lot of things
what's that movie
it sounds hurtful
something borrowed
the one with Jim
where everyone's a bad person in it what's john krasinski and uh guinifer goodwin
and kate hudson yeah something borrowed it's not a fun movie i'm like i don't like any of these
people yeah no everyone cheats yeah none of the characters are likable i don't like that yeah i
don't like that that's why you didn't like maverick the mel gibson movie i love that movie oh when i
was when i first watched it i didn't like it but now it's a great movie so fun a lot of charm yeah now it's so good but
yeah at first i was like kind of because they all lie right yeah i didn't like that and his dad's a
liar i'm like everyone's a liar what is this shit poker they're all lying everything's lying
can't we just get some world war ii veterans and just get a mission yeah yeah i uh i had a funny
thing yesterday my i guess my gf she has a good friend who is good friends with my ex whoa yeah
and i never pried but i was like she was like yeah he told me before we went on our first date
he said he knew about you and that your ex had told him
about you and i was like oh did she speak well of me and she was like no no really she said and i
was like what i was like yeah i was like what'd she say what'd she say and then uh she goes she
said you were a toxic manipulative narcissist and i go oh okay nothing too bad i was literally like what i was like oh that's fine like literally i was like worried it would
be something else and those are all bad things but for whatever reason i was like yeah that's
fine well it didn't seem to bother her so that's good yeah you posted that story and i was like
i was like where'd this come yeah i guess you posted like a poll of like what's the oh yeah
i posted a poll on Instagram.
Do you consider yourself a toxic narcissist?
But all the people who said yes, I'm like, you're probably not because you're aware.
Well, also, I think we're quick.
Those are like all the go-to words now to describe people.
You know what I mean?
And I think I am super narcissistic to a degree, but not like completely.
Like there's percentages to things. And there's days where you're like more narcissistic less narcissistic and then there's dynamics where you're more narcissistic
less narcissistic i don't think people are it i don't think it's all encompassing i think people
have dimensions within those things yeah i think yeah i think it's like a i think for me i think
yeah certain aspects where there is narcissism it's it just varies yeah there's like a, for me, I think, yeah, certain aspects where there is narcissism, it just varies.
Yeah.
And there's like, there's like,
it's like in your friendships and your relationships and your career,
there's different ways to totally for that stuff to come out.
That's also tough.
That's cool that she told you that.
And also it's,
you're getting a review from someone where things didn't work.
Relationships are two way streets.
That's what I said.
I go, I was like, come on, dude.
Like, and it's all like, you want, like,
you're getting one side of the story.
You're a great guy. You're the man're the man no no but i was pretty shitty too
especially towards the end of course that's the end but and i well i told her that too i was like
well does that sound like when i described our relationship to her i think i described it that
way without using those words but it was funny when i was walking away she's like that doesn't
bother you i was like no it just sounds like she liked me a lot and i was more worried that she would have said that i was
not talented lazy or bad at sex that's bad yeah that would suck but those are all narcissistic
things to be worried about that too that's hilarious yeah i just want her to think i'm
talented and good at sex well maybe yeah narcissistic maybe oh no i couldn't he uh he
cooked bad steak and didn't dance well what the fuck did she say
what did she say well narcissistic maybe she means you were selfish in bed maybe she means that
that's not true dude it's not true i had my bone because i did have because there was a thing there
was a certain thing i like to do like a preamble to sex and i did ask her one time i was like do i
do that too much and she was like yeah probably but that was just what got me going you like to just put a leather jacket on and have a cigarette that's your plan
where you like to sit in your smoking chair and then get after it no i actually don't think i'm
sincerely i don't think i'm a selfish lover i don't think no i i wouldn't think so either are
you a selfish lover no with that hog there's no chance yeah by nature of you putting
it in someone you're being altruistic benevolent it's true you're not a selfish lover no no finesse
bottom and i like to dart yeah dark i hate coming i don't even come dude sometimes i just go in my
closet person i i i eat the butt every time i love that about you that's not that's right
my wait a second after the deed
is done i'll be like wait a second did we forget something yeah yeah exactly you're like hold on
hold on hold on make sure you have my checklist make sure you have wait load check yeah before we
uh watch emily in paris yeah make sure you have your coffee I'm just laying there wait a second
no I'm not
but I also have a little bit of like
I've never been one of those guys
I think there's guys who are like very kind of like
assertive in the
sack or whatever I don't think I've ever been that kind of
you're more like go with the flowy
yeah I used to have this
as a roommate that I had really brief time JT and i lived together first in la but i had a
really brief time with this roommate and um all he had and i moved i moved in with him and he just
had a mattress sideways in the middle of the room like in a little shared space a fish tank and a
boxing bag and so he'd bone his girlfriend just right there and like he's like oh yeah you can just go sleep in the bedroom and that's where i slept and yeah he was only doggy style like
this is where he would bone her out there yeah he would bone in the living room he just like that
was his style he's like dude and he'd like and he had a ton of beta fish he's like dude
after the fish fight tonight you go to your room and i'm gonna fuck doggy style
whoa and you know that relationship didn't work out because here's the thing like dude i'd put on you know i'd listen to good
podcasts i'd listen to fucking moby at the time i was listening a lot of lcd sound system
and you know the album would end and he'd still just be going doggy style right greedy i don't
like doggy style you know i like okay to just go through but i like positions where you feel like
you might make a baby at the end oh i like that yeah like i'm always in my primal brain sex is most horny when it feels like it
could end in a kid that's so that's why i'm like big on mish right because you're like super in
there and you're like digging in and you're like all right when this comes out then i'm wearing a
bag but i'm like there could be a baby right yeah it's just in that and that's even my like legit my dirty talk is like i want to fucking put a baby in you right that's awesome
you say that yeah strider would there ever be moments when you're like super hungry and you'd
be like i say it all the time you'd have to like go to the kitchen make a pbj and they'd just be
doing it doggie style 100 he'd ask me to feed the fish too he's like hey when you're done making
that pb and j can you just throw some fish food so he had tons of endurance and he would just keep going yeah and so he'd basically go all day
and he'd be like cleaning the place yeah this poor gal she's just getting like dude yes you'd be like
hey can we mix it up and he'd be like in a little bit what was he looking at dude he was looking at
his punching bag he'd be even punching his punching he'd be staring at his punching bag
that's badass yeah this guy was pretty gnarly.
And they got along for a while.
She was into it for a while,
but then I think she grew out of it.
They only did it for like a week.
And he was a preschool teacher?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He worked with kids, yeah.
And he wore sunglasses indoors?
His name was Mr. Braden.
He'd wear sunglasses during it?
Oh, yeah.
He had fucking full-on shades
because there was such a big,
there was such a powerful UV light.
Yeah.
The whole place was UV light.
It was day, it was fucking high noon around the clock in our apartment and you called him mr braden you didn't know his first name or anything yeah he made me call him mr braden that's what it
said on his craigslist i don't really know what his first name was that's crazy yeah mr braden
did you ever just call mr or was it always mr braden i fucked up one time mr braden and then
he said hey stand next to the punching bag can Can you hold it for me? And he acted like he slipped, but socked me super hard in the shoulder.
Whoa.
But I caught on to that.
He socked me so hard.
Yeah.
Canelo style.
Work the arms first.
Make them useless by the later rounds.
Yeah.
He just.
Yeah.
But I remember one time because you had a landline at that time.
So one time he was boning and he's like, hey, you got like a couple of voicemails.
I think you have like a family emergency.
Yeah. Still boning. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly, dude. He's like, you got like a couple voicemails i think you have like a family emergency yeah still boning yeah yeah exactly dude he's like it was crazy dude he's like dude your grandma
really wants to see you like she's reading the will he's like no i can't make it just that's
okay and he had one of those out answering machines i missed this they were out loud
yeah i could hear the machine what was his ball slap what was his answering machine message oh
his answering machine was he Oh, his answering machine?
He would just go,
you know like the rally monkey for the Angels games?
He'd go,
and then just beep.
Beep.
Beep.
I heard he would do impressions while he was fucking too.
That's like the beginning of
Down with the Sickness.
They do that.
Disturbed. I'm probably doing a bad rendition of it down with the sickness yeah dude that's crazy man yeah man that we only lived together for like a month then he um
so he choked me out and so i had to move out oh yeah he choked me out while he was boning right
yeah i made his dino nuggets from traderader Joe's. I fucking was super hungry.
I fucking was like, don't grill these dino nuggets.
I don't give a fuck, dude.
And I brought some fresh ranch at that time,
just living the single life.
Trent Downs choked me out one time
because he literally said he was doing it to me as a favor
so I could see what it felt like.
Oh, that's the worst.
That type of guy, dude.
That's a good favor.
And he just choked me out in the hallway at school one time.
And I had to act like it was cool afterwards but hey trent thanks dude dude thank you yeah thanks
for teaching me that knowledge so now i'll know when i'm getting like you say i want to know what
it feels like to get knocked out no i'm kind of reluctant to talk about it because i don't want
kids to try it but there was a thing where like people used to choke themselves to get a high
oh yeah don't like the oxygen deprivation would give them a high and i was just asking him about it before school one day yeah and then he he found me in between periods
and choked me i was like that's what it feels like and i was like oh thanks dude i appreciate
that but how did that feel horrendous at my high school they would put kids in sleeper holds a lot
that's what it was yeah sleepers and thisnie, you know, he just came up behind me, tried to put me in a sleeper hold, but I just passed out so hard.
I was like, oh, oh, oh.
And he's like, let me go.
He's like, fine, I won't put you to sleep.
That's good.
You reacted well.
Yeah, well, I was just so, I was like, it was kind of embarrassing
because the whole like.
Yeah, you flailed.
The whole common area was like, it was in like this sort of hangout area
for the boarding school.
And I was like, oh, oh. And he's like, it was in like this sort of hangout area for the boarding school and i was
like oh oh and he's like it was like uncool of me he's not getting choked out yeah yeah
but he was like going for it like dude yeah because i've done like fake wrestling moves
with people like sleepers and everything but we're always joking around i'm not actually
trying to put somebody to sleep no they what are you guys crazy that's what happens when you you know put kids in the boarding school yeah i guess i was gonna say
too like i can't even imagine what it must have been like to be in an all boys school yeah because
one of the only oh it's colored you had girls in my ways too oh that's different i did all
not the dorms though we weren't allowed to go in their dorms you were at an all-boys school yeah
my my high school was all boys catholic yeah that's a bummer dude oh it's weird so would you
guys like fart in front of each other yeah yeah you gotta let those go there's no reason to hold them back
man yeah there were teachers that would have like spray they would spray the classroom like with
air freshener yeah they would guys would fart that's what i imagine because like the girls are
a good buffer for our like worse behavior yeah yeah like because if you act like too girls are a good buffer for our like worst behavior yeah like because if you act
like too much of a dingback i was like you're gross and then you're like i'm not gonna behave
like yeah there was no reason to be hygienic yeah so you guys are just farting in front of
each other would you guys have like boners in class and like point out and be like dude i got
a boner no we wouldn't do that i wasn't getting boners don't don't they say i not anymore for me but
like don't they say like if you're like a healthy man you're supposed to get like five boners a day
really yeah whoa yeah but at what age whoops oh fuck um like just automatic boners or give
yourself it depends what you're doing if you're working all
day and you're like around people you're not getting boners yeah i'm pretty sure like 30
this is crazy online doctor dot lloyd's pharmacy how many times does a man get erect in a day
the average man has 11 erections each day what as many where are these dudes yeah that can't be right what yeah there's no way
11 how are you supposed to do your job you know what it's a pharmacy thing i think they're trying
to peddle dick dick drugs yeah yeah 11 boners a day no no way healthline.com people with penises have 11 boners a day maybe you get them while you sleep
yeah three to five when you're sleeping i don't get that many when i'm sleeping
dude i've been i've been oh yeah this is concerning because i've been i've been sunning
them i've been ice bathing them i've've been, you know, watching Independence Day and visualizing boning the alien.
You're getting boners in the ice bath?
If you get a boner in the ice bath, that's powerful, dude.
How can you do that?
That sounds like it's a battle.
Like an oxymoron or something.
That's amazing, dude.
Yeah, I just focus and I just sort of like, I just sort of think of like, you know,
hot mature tits.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like to cry when I have a bum.
I bet if you can get it in the ice bath,
I bet it's really rock hard.
Yeah.
I mean, it's like.
Because then it's really like an icicle.
It's exactly it.
Yeah.
It's a popsicle.
Yeah.
If you dink it, will it like break like the t100 and that's
the danger too yeah yeah you just sounded like robert de niro and he you're like that's the
that's the discipline that's the danger yeah um dude should we answer some cues yeah down
stokers i'm interrupting this dang four horsemen podcast let you know once again that we got a show
coming out august 23rd on netflix chat jt go deep add it to your list right now so you can watch a
day of get the notification what up and uh we are on tour we're hitting dates all over america we're
gonna keep adding dates keep your eyes peeled but we're coming for the east coast we're hitting dates all over america we're going to keep adding dates keep your eyes peeled
but we're coming for the east coast we're coming in hot for you east coast what up and some midwest
i'm talking chicago we also added a second chicago show so we had a late show so get your tickets at
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All right.
Let's get back to the show.
Is a competition between two bros to see who can stay single the longest.
Dumb.
What is the plot from the movie Tomcat?
Yep.
And also wedding.
Oh, a little bit.
Yeah.
It's a good script idea.
It depends how old you are. Yeah. Yeah not gonna do it now yeah if you're 18
you know i almost think it has the reverse effect too like if you're like two bros and you're like
who's gonna stay single the longest it'll actually maybe power up your desire to not be single yeah
that might manifest yeah it's actually a good idea. I'm going to do that.
That's what I was thinking.
It's like you won't have any sort of desperation.
Yeah, people will like your resistance.
You'll be like, actually, I'm trying to stay single.
And then they're like, really?
Why?
And then you're like, oh, you know, it's important to me.
Yeah.
And it'd be cool if one of the guys came in one day
and he's like, dude, I'm out.
He's like, I can't do it.
It's love, you know? Yeah,. He's like, I can't do it. It's love.
Yeah, it's kind of fun to lose when the consequences of losing
are that you're in love with someone.
And, too, it could sort of weed out any sort of –
because sometimes people might sort of force themselves into relationships.
Right.
They can't be single.
You're not going to settle if there's competition online.
There's no settling happening.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's actually kind of really brilliant.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just your approach.
Because I mean, you could really stay single if you're like, I live at my mom's house and
I own a sword.
I don't know if ladies are really going to like that.
Right.
But you also might find a lady who really does.
You know what I mean?
But odds are, hey, what's up?
I'm 42. I like to just wield my sword around not for exercise but just to feel its energy
um you're gonna stay single for a while nice what sword is more concerning if it's a broad
sword or a samurai sword i think samurai actually no broad broad samurai can be decorative i feel
like yeah right it's a little more elegant yeah if you're rocking a broad sword you're like dude
relax yeah you're like well i mean i guess you can get away with
the excuse like it's william wallace's but like if you'd like just have a broadsword it's like
i went to knott's berry farm and i couldn't not have it yeah it's very love on the spectrum
yeah so i guess you got to just be watch your approach and then on the other side of that is
if this competition is coming from a place of oh man can we just churn through ladies i also don't think that's the nicest thing maybe this is me getting soft to
my older age but you know if you're also a young guy and the ladies want to just bone too and have
fun cool but just make sure you don't you know well what i like about it is that they're not
framing it as like who can bang more in a year it doesn't feel like that that's good but i worry
about that yeah that doesn't feel
built in but that is the concern but no i think this is cool because i think it'll have the
opposite effect yeah and you'll be more discerning in your in your partners um
okay uh my friend always comes around me and my girlfriend at lunchtime when he's one mad awkward
dude how can make the situation with him so awkward that he bails?
How do I out awkward him?
Frankie Deal.
Nice name, first off.
What's a...
My friend comes around me and my girlfriend at lunchtime
when he's one mad awkward dude.
How can make the situation with him so awkward that he bails?
How do I out awkward him?
Well, your buddy the
guy who does doggy style in the living room that seemed like a pretty good solution yeah for sure
i'm yeah i would like i would bring like a fish with you to lunch like a live fish not intended
for eating and be like hey man this is we're just gonna hang out with my fish we're just kind of
doing that and he'll be like i like to look at fish too oh really you do
i never knew that come here dude let me punch you
that will work yeah yeah you can ask him like really personal questions too
yeah yeah start yeah make it comfortable hey man what's your biggest failure in life
and then if he's down and he answers, sounds pretty cool.
I'd let him hang.
Yeah, that's pretty vulnerable.
And that's like ability, baby.
So I think, you know, look,
we all know where this is going.
You got to have an honest conversation
with the dude and be like,
hey, man, I just want to have lunch
with my lady today.
Why are you third wheeling?
You know, you don't need to attack him like that,
but be like, dude, you're kind of third wheeling.
Like, I like you, bro.
But, you know, if you see me and my dank ass GF here, it's kind of date time for our lunch.
Maybe make out with your girlfriend a lot, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Start kissing.
And then if he's into that, he sounds pretty cool.
I think you got to test how awkward he really is.
Yeah, you got the right idea of being awkward with him.
Oh, this is Dear Chad and JT.
I'm just going to get to the point.
I'm a recently divorced, attractive blonde.
I'm looking to have a lot of fun that I've missed out on in the last 20 years.
Consent pick if you would like.
Jack, thanks for picking this one.
Jack, way to write this thing.
Wait, this sounds like the-
Did you write this?
Did you write this one?
Wait, keep going. This sounds like this sounds like they're unbelievable dude wait wait keep going this sounds like uh the mother emailer that i get does she go by donna
she goes by that yeah whoa the email you get is on there that's her
yeah no way this is for sure a, but we'll pretend it's a chick.
So we feel cool. Yeah, women don't listen to my show.
Yeah, this is a dude, dude.
My youngest son, Barry, does that check out?
I think so.
Who's your biggest fan?
I listen to your show every week and we can't get enough.
I'm especially infatuated with your cute smile, Chad,
and your masculine physique, JT.
Getting to the point, my question is, would either or both of you ever consider dating a woman more mature than you, either as a fling or as a serious relationship?
Sorry if I'm coming on too strong.
I know this is a family-friendly show and don't want to offend, but I really feel connected to you guys, or as I like to call it, your squad.
By the way, we already have tickets to your show in Charlotte in a couple months.
Maybe we set up a meet and greet with my son after the show.
Then I show both of you some Southern hospitality.
Don't worry, I don't bite, JK.
Yours truly, Donna.
No, read the parentheses.
Please.
Oh, shit.
Please call me Elizabeth so my son doesn't catch on
that's dude that's why joe was being cryptic pointing i'm like dude how do you not know
just say it okay that makes sense yeah that's the same woman that's awesome
um i love that i mean we're not exactly a family-friendly show. We talk about Joe's penis nonstop.
And the answer is yes, I would consider dating an older woman as a fling.
Or as a serious relationship.
Not a serious relationship because I want to have children.
You could be a stepdad.
And how old are we talking?
I mean, she can have kids up to, I mean, you know, there's more risk.
No, I mean, I'm 38, So I'm thinking like an 80 year old.
45 to 50 range.
Yeah.
You know, me and Chad are both.
Both taken.
In committed relationships.
Yeah.
I love my girlfriend.
She's the best.
Me too.
That's fucking rad, dude.
Yeah.
GF bros.
But, but if any other guys want to write emails
like this
they make me feel good
and I'll read them
yeah dudes
keep them coming man
that's pretty rad
hey fellas
thank you
dude you know what
we did that show
Culture Court
great show by Matt Lockwood
and Keith Johnson
well actually we didn't do it
we were like
supposed to like headline it
which was a great honor
and then when they brought us up the show was running over and the manager of the comedy
store came up and said, show's over.
And we'd literally been up there for like three seconds and they booted all me, Strider
and Chad off the stage, which was hilarious.
But one of the prior, so what they do at the show is, is they, they have two comedians
go against two other comedians and they debate a topic and it's like court.
But one of the things was that one of the guys works for only fans and he's a uh oh that's right he's the messenger for like a bunch
of uh hot chicks on there who put out like nudes and he's the one solely responsible for all the
dming so the case was about like is that okay that he does that and tricks these dudes? And that was really startling because he was showing me how he does it. And so he literally
has to like adopt a seductive female persona and be like, hey, sweetie, you want another photo for
today? You've been so cute all day. I feel like you deserve it. And he's just writing that shit
to dudes all day long. And the dudes are like, oh, this hot chick's messaging me.
But it's not.
But it's not even the chick?
No, it's the dude.
Oh, OK.
So I thought he's getting a cut from the hot chick.
They are.
They're paying him to do it.
Oh, they are?
OK.
Yeah.
But it's like an administrative role.
But none of those messages are from Gav.
But the woman's real, but the messages aren't from her.
No, the banter back and forth is just like-
That's a good job
is like he looks like us i feel like that should be like it's kind of a bummer that like that
you know isn't actually from the lady for the guy for the consumer but like
you gotta figure that's what's going on like come on yeah it's a business bro especially if it's
like a really famous yeah yeah there's no way this is she's taking the time you know how many messages she's
getting a day yeah there's probably like four of those guys on the payroll yeah come on and then
also like it is weird for him to get into that mindset but like he knows what guys want and do
you think he wrote a sample that's interesting probably like applied you know writing right
show me what you can do yeah yeah like here's some prompts and it's like yeah describe all
right here's one brocephalages of the highest order sorry i burped i had a couple beers all
right the title of the email is roommate friend i think i love her question mark i'm a 29 year
old dude and i currently live with an absolute babe in my apartment she's one of those people I never want to lose from my life and recently I've developed feelings
for in a major way she's also been throwing flirty vibes my way but I'm having an issue
in deciphering whether they have remote romantic intentions or if she's just being a good friend
for instance she brought she bought me a really nice birthday gift and posted on her ig story
about me when I mentioned getting a haircut she immediately asked if she could cut it.
We have long talks about love languages and cute stories about how people in
our lives have met.
We are always texting throughout the day as well.
I keep waking up after having steamy dreams about her and it's all consuming
at this point.
How do I let her know that I am interested in being more than friends without
jeopardizing my living situation or an already solid friendship?
Do I tell her or wait to see if she makes it super obvious? I am interested in being more than friends without jeopardizing my living situation or an already solid friendship.
Do I tell her or wait to see if she makes it super obvious?
All my bros are split on whether or not I continue to play a cool or shoot my shot.
Whoa,
dude.
I say be like,
Hey,
tomorrow night,
let's like watch the bear on Hulu.
Let's binge it.
And then we'll,
we'll,
we'll order,
cook up some fun fun fancy meals that are
on like the edge of our abilities and i'll buy a couple of bottles of wine maybe and then you
get loose you get hammered not too hammered obviously and then you just turn to her and
you go for the smooch i like that yeah yeah because if it's at the point where it's like
it's all the way it's the steam's all the way up it's it's
boiling what is it and food the lid is about to burst off yeah you got then you got to go for it
you got to do something i think that's a great idea instead of just verbally saying it i think
make an experience making it obvious without actually saying it and then just kind of letting
it happen naturally.
I think that's a brilliant idea what you said.
And food is sensual.
Like when I was watching The Bear,
I was like, I get why all these girls
are attracted to leading it
because it's like, it's hot watching someone make food.
You know what I mean?
He's like doing a reduction on the sauce
and it's like, I don't know,
it's all just like steaming and seductive.
And then like, yeah, do like a pork belly thing.
Doing something as a team is great.
Even like Hello Fresh Meals with my dank fiance is fun.
We put on a little music.
That's great advice.
I would say then go a step further.
Baby, hopefully it works out.
Hopefully it's great.
But if it doesn't work out, you're moving out.
That's what I'm saying, bro.
So be ready for that.
I'd say maybe towards the end of your lease
yeah yeah do it towards the end of the month or or maybe at the beginning of the month so
then you have time yeah bro do this bro we're almost at the end of july august 1st baby that's
what you're doing i think it's a monday a little bit weird but okay fine do it on sunday night yeah
yeah so she's 31st she rebuffs you you could be like well good thing we're month to month because
daddy's out of here next 100 bro the other way you go you're like all right look i'm in love with you
i want to be with you she's like now you're like all right well i'm gonna be here for the next six
months yeah yeah have fun dealing with that eyesore yeah but i dude i don't know i don't i i think broadly like when
when you're into someone it's better to get to the end of that situation
faster and just figure out if they're into you because then like if you're kind of just accepting
less than what you want i think it's like death over like a thousand days like just get there yeah just figure it out yeah baby um all
right last question ahoy there captains of stoke i have adhd i come from a repressed religious
family and i feel like i've been hiding myself from people for the longest time until recently
i've started to be more open with people and with what i'm i've become more close with a girl at
work we've both known for a year
about the crushes we have on each other she's bipolar so we both somewhat know what it's like
to be neurodivergent we both deal with emotional dysregulation in varying degrees and we both so
much struggle with loneliness the thing is she's 17 almost 18 and i just turned 24 i'm aware of
the stigma you know what dude um there's a lot more here i think you just got
to keep it moving yeah just keep it moving brother you'll find somebody else sorry dog
yeah that was a fun question to end on um um all right dude chad what's your beef of the week bro my beef of the week is Derek who lounges
on the turf at Equinox
so on the turf
at my gym
there are
battle ropes
there's like a little bit of turf and there's a sled
and there's battle ropes right there
and this one dude Derek
just lounges there all day so
you know i'll be gearing up ready to to you know battle some rope just take him and do some cool
moves you know just sort of make my presence known dominate the turf but he's lounging there on his
phone and then occasionally he'll get up and do like a kettlebell swing and i'll be like dude you
don't even have to be on the turf for this and he'll just every time I go there it's just Derek you know and I'm and he's like hey what's
up dude I'm like yeah what's up Derek like find another place to swing your k-bell dude
you know because daddy's trying to rope and on top of that they just put a new battle rope
start longer so it takes up more space so oftentimes i'm not able to b rope and it's able you know it's kind of inhibiting my ability to
get my arms as toned as i'd prefer and you know that's not something you want in this world
you know and you have the ability to have the tone that you're desiring but you know some douche is just sitting there on
Twitter not letting it happen that's fucking messed up man thanks dude my
beef of the week is with everyone giving Aaron Rodgers shit for showing up
looking like Cameron Poe to training camp I don't know if you guys saw this
but he showed up with long hair in the white tank top with the jeans.
And he looked exactly like Cameron Poe.
And I'm like, that's awesome, dude.
That's the sickest thing I've ever seen.
So why is this bad?
I even mentioned this to JT.
I was like, dude, you see, this is pretty funny.
And JT's like, you know,
I do love the way Rogers lives his life.
He just gets after, he's into aliens.
He podcasts, he tells people to relax.
Now, should he like, is the green bay packers organization organization going to suffer because of some of his antics in the off season and you know saying you know whatever with the
draft a year or two ago yeah you know he's a bit of a madonna but guess what he slings the rock
and i love his new look yeah i get fired up on a new look for someone especially a dude and dudes don't often
feel sexy
yeah
so if he feels sexy
like that
then go for it dude
and Cameron Poe
is a sexy look
yeah
so
was he trying to
look like that
or did he just
wound up looking like that
that's a good question
I don't know
if he knew about it
that'd be cool
if he did
but I think he might
because he's kind of
you know
this guy knows
what he's doing
a little bit
you know
no I think he does yeah I also think when you're like super popular it
must just get boring to do the right thing all the time and i think sometimes it's fun to mess
up and just feel that too it's like it's kind of connected to the billionaire uh uh like thought
experiment we were working through like i think he's just like hey what if i just try to be this
guy for a day and just see what happens exactly they're kind of just having fun with
i don't know making public choices and seeing what the room kairi irving's kind of like that
him and aaron rogers should do a podcast together yeah weird on weird yeah like weird on weird not
much evidence not much science behind it but hey we feel it i would watch i would listen i'd be very curious
yeah who's your beef of the week joe uh my beef of the week is uh with bird scooter um so i well
did you guys ever take a ride where okay my phone went out of battery during the ride oh yeah so i
couldn't end the ride so i had to go up into my apartment wait for my phone to
come back on it was like five more minutes and then i i saw like when i came back on that
the meter kept running the scooter's been parked for like at least five minutes now
and the meter's still running and i emailed them and they said that they wouldn't give me uh the money back
because it was like five extra dollars than what it should have been oh that's whack that they
wouldn't give you and they said no that's the that that ride ended appropriately or whatever
it's like they got to take there should be once the scooter's parked for a minute
it goes off i mean what are what
are people doing they're not hanging out for a minute on there turn it off yeah people's phones
go out of battery how do they not take that into account scammers yeah it's kind of whack
yeah tell them it surprised me that as a guy who enjoys salt on a cucumber as a snack would have a
low battery charge on his phone those seem counterintuitive dude yeah well yeah i got it
i gotta stay i gotta be better with charging at night it's always going out of battery
dude my beef of the week is somewhat connected to that. It's about transportation.
I think as a species, culture, civilization,
we should have better modes at this point.
I'm trying to go to Nantucket next weekend.
I have to take two flights.
It's going to take me two days.
And then we're going to Des Moines.
It's taking you two days to get to Nantucket?
Yeah, because I leave at 11. i get into newark at 8 and then you have to take a plane from there to get to nantucket so
it's two days of travel then it's gonna take me two days to get to des moines for a shoot we're
doing i mean it's fucking stupid dude like how do we just not have better things like
why are there not bullet trains everywhere that just do like a thousand
yeah yeah why is there not like i don't know like every time i'm in a plane i'm like is this
really the best way we can do it yeah i'm like it feels a little bit i just don't know where we
allocate all of our energy sometimes too in terms of improving things and i think transpose one that
could use a definite facelift yeah dude big time who's the secretary of transpo right now is it buddha judge dude pete
get some bullet trains on there dude yeah let's go bro bring back the freaking concord
for real yeah i'd fly the concord what was that again it's like the super fast
does the speed of sound only commercial plane that does the speed
of sound dude bring back the concord they should all be concords at this point well they always
have like those blueprints for those trains but they never come to fruition right or like the
models or whatever yeah yeah newsome and why does it why does it take me six hours to get to new
york what's that mean it's too long it's well that's a long
distance i mean it would like from austin to here it's only two and a half hours but that's
i can i can deal with that yeah that's a nice six is tough we need that's why i don't go to europe
oh yeah do you want to go to europe i'm like uh how long am i on the plane yeah i'm like i can't
sleep on i don't know what people do that whole trip's gonna be fucked yeah trip's gonna be fucked I don't care what beignet I'm having over there
it's not good enough for that flight
it's not worth it
the only way I'm going to Europe is if I can bring an air mattress
and do doggy
that would be pretty cool
that's a great call
that's why private jets are cool
I want other people to watch
I want to be on a commercial
I want a town square, yeah.
I heard that's what they do on Concord.
They make you get to watch people fuck?
You do doggy at the speed of sound.
That's rad, dude.
Yeah.
So like your moans are like, you know.
Let's say you're on your way to New York
and you're like going over like, you know, your moans are still in nevada whoa yeah i'm that's a good riddle dude
if you're on if you're boning doggy on an air mattress on concord and one takes off from
florida and the other one takes off simultaneously from california and you cross over fucking des moines whose moan are you hearing whoa
des moines you know sonic boom moist
when you do doggy on a concord the sonic boom is like
chat who's your baby of the week uh my baby of the week is cole hauser
dude that's sweet the actor yeah he's awesome he's a beast i mean that's a great baby of the
week dude yeah he's i mean i'm watching yellowstone right now he's a rip in yellowstone
just a just a man's man real just fucking he'll beat the fuck out of you and he's he has you know assertive sex
um nice nice for sure i don't mean that in like a rapey way i get you yeah maybe edit that out
no no that's fine because my intention is in like one of the first episodes he's banging against like
a dresser it's a character true yeah stand-up sex always works yeah he's doing he's doing stand-up
sex we've talked about that yeah i was with my girlfriend i was like i was jerry mcguire
yeah it's a romantic comedy starts off yeah that's great yeah strawberries dude yeah yeah
kelly preston you klutz firing stand-up sex in yellowstone he he stands up for the jimmy i think
the drug addict and just a good guy rip what up and then uh you know we gotta mention carter verone too fast too
furious excellent villain he's in um i just remembered in um good uh good yeah good will
hunting and dude matt damon said that he's such a cool guy yeah that he actually going into most
scenes would be like hey just like lose half my dialogue. Right. Yeah, yeah. He was canceling his own dialogue. Yeah.
Which like no actor.
Yeah.
Is he the third friend?
Yeah, he's the curly haired one.
He was like, when he gives him the car, he's like, it's a good car.
It's a good car.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
That's a great scene by him right there.
He's awesome.
He's like, it's a good car.
It's a good car.
He's a dude.
And I think he realized that that character wouldn't talk much.
Totally.
He was given real faithful kind of of representation that kind of person yeah
they're all buddies they all came up together it's really sweet the dynamic is so real between them
dude yeah and uh what are some lines from uh too fast superiors uh it's just like it's it's like
also like the amount of saliva in his mouth when he's always sweating he's like you better get this
done you gotta get this done for me yeah i'll cut you like a rat yeah he's like um oh fuck i can't remember any lines god damn it i should
prepped anyways kohlhauser well we're doing four podcasts this week so i'm yeah i'm ripping from
nowhere right now yeah yeah but i mean you know that's a great one if you're an actor you know i
i hope casting directors are like all right we have a stand-up sex scene you know who has good stand-up sex and i hope they go for strider i was gonna say but if
they pick you number one with how much you rehearse dude yeah dude i would crush that
you'd be like dude hey can i come over to your house and pick you up like five times yeah
yeah you'd be rehearsing like wow you were really prepared i'm like
jt's in the corner he's like what's up brother sitting on an ice pack good take brother yeah
dude you nailed it yes you got crutches yeah yeah you'd rehearse the shit out of that uh
strider who's your baby the week dude dude uh i think my baby week's probably gotta be my
dank ass fiance dude just just for gripping
and ripping and being an absolute beast dude um did she made these dank ass i just wake up and
smell something dank in the apartment dude she makes these protein pancakes dude getting jacked
while eating something tasty you better believe my fucking day was stoked from there on out so
let's go believe that yeah so i was fired up on that out. So let's go. Believe that. Yeah.
So I was fired up on that.
You know, once you do something sick like that, you know, I'm doing the dishes.
I'm like, go ahead.
Don't go on to whatever else you're going to do.
Appreciate you starting my day like this.
That's nice.
Fucking rad.
Do you get like, do you feel good? Like when you're doing the dishes, like, hey, we're a team.
Yes.
I'm happy to do it at that point.
I'm like, fuck.
Yeah, dude.
I like to contribute.
Yeah, that's what it is. Right. Yeah. yeah everyone does their part joe what's your who's your
baby uh my baby of the week's gotta be uh my buddy dan who answered my instagram
plea for help in finding a new place to live and offered me a room at his house uh really coming through for me
and it's great that when you put yourself out there and then people are willing to help and uh
and uh yeah it's awesome that dan's able to take me in and let me live at his house.
So that's pretty awesome.
That's rad.
Is this the dude that I met when we were at the Irish place?
No.
No, this is a different guy.
Chad, who's your legend of the week?
My legend of the week.
Well, first off, I got Carter for round quote.
Hey, you.
Pockets aren't empty.
Roman played by Terry.
Damn. I'll take my cutter back great quote
well that cutter he means the cigar cutter but my babe of the week is luke grimes flow and yellow
stone um i think it's tremendous just really inspiring good montana cowboy flow you know
with the facial hair i'm every time i see it i, damn, can't wait for my hair to grow back like that.
Yeah, I just want to give him a shout out.
Strider, who's your legend?
My legend is Gus, dude.
Just had JD on the History's Dank podcast, legend.
But Gus shows up, gave him a ride there, posted up in the studio,
and he saw the assortment of beverages there, and he's like, I'll shotgun
any of these just off the cuff.
And he did. He shotgunned a hazy IPA
and then a tall boy sparkling water,
which was really cool. It really boosted
the stoke. What a beast, dude.
I see.
Yeah, and
punctured the cans around electronics,
a lot of electronics. And I
asked him, and he goes, no, bro, I'll find that air bubble.
Don't worry.
They call me Tank.
I witnessed why.
That's sick.
Joe, who's your legend of the week?
My legend of the week is the four horsemen plus Aaron and Jack.
Let's go.
This is where it all started for me as far as podcasting goes.
And you better believe it's great to be back here doing this.
So I love it.
And I'll come back anytime.
I'll do it every week.
I'll fly in. You're always welcome to go. We love yeah i love you guys love you bro love you bro yeah i love you is um rob low oh hell yeah yeah
it's a cool guy it's a really cool guy actually no my legend of the week is joe nice all right that's cool it's good to have you here don't
yeah it's great to be here it feels uh well i guess the million dollar question then is
and i don't want to pressure you but are you moving back to la
i mean i don't know you're on, but are you moving back to LA? I mean, I don't know.
You're on the fence, right?
Because you were considering it.
Yeah.
I mean, I was also going through a pretty hard time when I was doing that.
I don't know.
I'm still just kind of, I don't know.
We got to, not yet.
But, you know, there's nothing, you you know everything's on the table
you know the world's very unpredictable
so I don't
I don't say anything's
permanent I don't have anything set in stone
so we'll just
we'll see how it goes
but it does feel great being here I'll say that
I like that I like the suspense
well I mean it's the truth i don't know it's i'm not gonna say yes or i'm you know i don't know
ever if i say no i don't know i don't know it's fair it's fair we'll see
yeah 100 yeah whoa that's right. Oh yeah, I saw those.
Those look cool.
I haven't joined a team yet in Austin.
But yeah, I do want to play again.
Chad, who's your legend of the week?
What's your quote of the week?
My quote of the week is from Rip and Yellowstone.
It's hard to measure almost almost because almost doesn't matter
i love that this is a i think is a paraphrase from plato and he says beauty educates the soul
oh that's nice nice so joe what's your quote of the week Beauty tea darts
Quote of the week is
Could it be like a movie line
Yeah of course
I was watching the Big Lebowski again
Which I tend to always watch on
Flights and
One of my favorite
Lines is when
The dudes leave in the big Lebowski's house
after he meets Bunny for the first time.
And she's like, I'll suck your cock for $1,000.
And Brant's walking around.
He's like, I'm just going to go find a cash machine.
That's the best.
Yeah.
Chad, what's your quote of the week?
Phrase of the week? Yeah, sorry. Phrase of the week phrase of the week
yeah sorry phrase of the week I'm all over
my phrase of the week is
let's bust tonight's load
yeah
yeah
it's amazing to say that
in front of other people and just there'd be quiet
we're just so used to this just disgusting banter that we're like
well dude this thing while we were doing when we were like editing the show we had one zoom
meeting with like you know producers and it was all about a dick joke and they're like you know you know these producers
are like they're just like uh maybe no i think we should show the full thing you know instead
we're like i think we should you know it's like was this with the the tower one when we're being
schmoles that one i think so i can't remember specifically yeah we're yeah did we leave we
left that in right yeah i think so it was funny yeah and in the meeting i was like i can't remember specifically yeah we're yeah did we leave we left that in right yeah I think so
it was funny
yeah
and in the meeting
I was like
I can't believe this is our job
it's rad
that is rad
just dissecting
12 smart people
arguing about it
yeah arguing about a dick joke
Colbert talks about that
he's like
taking your silly
very serious
yeah yeah
it's very good
Strider
probably
uh
ooh wah dude I might have the worst ooh wah of all time ooh wah Yeah, yeah. It's very good. Strider. Probably.
Ooh, wah.
Dude, I might have the worst ooh, wah of all time.
Ooh, wah.
I mean, I have the gist of what you're trying to say.
Yeah. Bless you.
Ooh, wah.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
No, that's not bad.
Ooh, wah.
It's better than what I could do.
You try it.
Ooh, wah.
That's not bad.
That's pretty good.
Yeah, I went for it. Yeah, it wasn't bad. Thanks. Can you it it wasn't bad thanks can you hit it again yeah can you hit it again yeah that's great people are gonna see me it's amazing they're
gonna make that into something joe what's your phrase that we're gonna after it uh let's crush
it tonight boys let's go hollywood improv oh my phrase that we forget after it is ball with
the ball to bang the bang boogie just say i'm jump the boogie so i'm jump no what is hold on
my phrase will be forgetting after it is ball with the ball to bang the bang boogie boogie
said a boogie said i'm jump the boogie well said yes thank you that's a great one all right
four horsemen let's go let's ride let's ride y. Y'all, y'all, y'all.
To the improv.
Y'all, y'all.
All right.
Later, dudes.
Later, dudes.
Great stuff, guys. Thank you. I don't know.
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I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I want to make it. Thank you. Joe, what's your plan? Last question.
Last question.
Last question.
Last question. Last question. Thank you. Thank you.