Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 251 - Strider Wilson and Joe Marrese Join

Episode Date: August 10, 2022

What up stokers! We got Joe and Strider in the building. The four horsemen ride again.    Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping a...t manscaped.com, and use code [GODEEP].    Visit athelticgreens.com/godeep for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.   Just go to ShipStation.com, click on the microphone at the top of the page, and type in GODEEP

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up Stokers? Before we begin this podcast, I want to let you know that we have our show on Netflix, Chat and JT Go Deep, coming out August 23rd. You can search the show right now on Netflix. You can add it to your favorites so you can get ready and get notified right when it drops. You can watch day of and it also helps us with the algorithm so it can get circled around and we can bring the Stoke nationwide. So check that out out can't wait for you guys to see it i know you're gonna love it uh we also are going on tour we got dates coming up we're hitting north carolina south carolina uh we got boston date that just dropped in november hawaii honolulu uh new york nashville chicago get your tickets at chadandjt.com. We're also brought to you by the legends at Manscaped.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Manscaped, thank you so much for keeping our trims pure, for looking after our hogs, for making sure that our dinks are looking fresh and clean because does your happy trail look like a happy highway? Does your bush peek out over your fence? If you have to even think about the answers, you need the revolutionary products from Manscaped. Get 20% off and free shipping with the code GODIP at Manscaped.com.
Starting point is 00:01:09 That's 20% off with free shipping at Manscaped.com. Use code GODIP. What up? Ship station. Make ship happen. All right. Let's start the show. show me the curve in your feet and let's get hot dog on a stick what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad croker with the going deep with chad jt podcast i'm here with my compadre john thomas what up boom clap
Starting point is 00:01:46 stokers here with the um with the uh the t with the t dartasaurus let's go strider wilson fired up on that and we have moniker we have two more guests the big hog, Joe, and his cock. Guys, it's great to be here. Yeah, man. It's good to have you back. It's awesome to be back. It's been like a year since we did one of these. Well, all four of us? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:16 I think so, maybe. Yeah, it's four horsemen. But I've done two with you guys. We did one live in Austin, and we did one uh a couple months ago here but yeah the four of us yeah this is nice that's why i'm uh drinking a pacifico beautiful cheers it's good beer oh it's beautiful to see both just drinking mexican lager it was a great sound too that was a great clank yeah it was clean great start yeah we're no strangers to uh clinking beers that's right i'm a big big cheers guy i cheers every time yeah i like to talk a little
Starting point is 00:02:57 bit and then there will be a natural kind of moment you know like a rising kind of energy to the conversation everyone kind of laughs and then you look around the table you go now's the moment you go hey guys put them up cheers it's right it's very nice it's a beautiful thing so we got a long day and night ahead of us so we better uh yeah we're doing the pod or pace it but then we're gonna work out yep oh you two are working out yeah i'm gonna make no i'm not working out yeah he's gonna work out with no i showered already that's it no i think we're gonna throw some dumbbells once i shower i have i try to avoid sweat joe you're looking trim though yeah thank you yeah yeah i look great i yeah congratulations
Starting point is 00:03:42 yeah i don't know what it is because i don't eat well i think it's uh but you're walking everywhere yeah i walk everywhere i do a lot of accidental rocking what's you know what rocking is you like carry a bag that's heavy yeah like yeah basically like walking with weights right like a rock sack if you have like a weighted backpack like it burns like three times the calories of just regular walking right but i do it like with groceries and like stuff in my backpack what kind of groceries are we talking about i mean we're talking bananas almond milk uh this is heavy stuff peanut butter that's dense yeah it's all dense and to the bad diet thing i
Starting point is 00:04:26 think a lot of it i'll my weight's pretty low right now and i haven't been eating well but when you eat bad things they keep you full for longer like i had like for dinner last night i just had a cup of chocolate mousse whoa but i didn't need anything else but that's like 300 calories if you eat like a sandwich with like like a side of vegetables and then like a starch, that's like a thousand. And I will eat like, I do eat vegetables every day at some point.
Starting point is 00:04:51 I do have healthy stuff, but on the whole, I, I, I don't think I'm eating healthy, but I'm in the best shape I've been in. Your portions are low though, right?
Starting point is 00:05:01 Yeah. I do low portions. Um, and then I don't like, don't snack yeah really are there any vegetables that upset you no at this age now i pretty much like all of them but do you ever just like look at broccoli and you're like fuck that no i love it what about a cucumber do you look at it and go my penis is like three of you and i don't like i yeah go ahead huge cocks no i don't like whoa i don't like the way cucumbers taste you know i like them in a salad yeah you like that texture yeah but like on its own have
Starting point is 00:05:38 you ever put salt on one no try it that's a very adult it's a very i'm gonna do it it's a delicacy it's very good i like you bullying me into eating cucumbers i do like also to your theory it will fill you up low calories and hydrate you yeah they're very refreshing people say that people say like you'll be more full if you eat healthy i have not found that to be the case when i eat i don't even think like all healthy i'm just saying that's a filling ass food cucumbers yeah really yeah it's big it's a fucking big ass thing oh if you eat a whole one yeah yeah yeah if you eat a whole i don't see right cucumber when i order sushi rolls i don't trust anyone yeah i think it's a nuisance i do too you don't even like it in the sushi yeah i mean now we're getting crazy since joe you know it's a texture thing it's the crunch i'll show you what
Starting point is 00:06:23 i don't need the crunch i'll let you taste i respect that. You know, it's a texture thing. It's the crunch. I'll show you what it is. I don't need the crunch. I'll let you taste the flavorless. Hey, it's your role. Enjoy it how you enjoy it. Wait, Joe. Okay. Big cue for you. Yeah. Brussels sprouts with bacon and, you know, some like balsamic on them.
Starting point is 00:06:37 Is that correct? Yeah. Roasted. Roasted appetizer or side? And mine, do you remember the bacon and the balsamic. Someone actually asked me about you saying or picking Brussels sprouts as an appetizer on my podcast, like what I thought about it.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Oh, whoa. And I thought it was ridiculous. Yes. Ridiculously cool? No, I thought Brussels sprouts are totally just a side dish. But now throwing in, I didn't hear the bacon. That's what I'm saying. And the balsamic.
Starting point is 00:07:09 Okay, now you're in the club. Thank you. No way. You brought the ladies with you. No, it's not. Now you're in. Now you have entry. It's still a side.
Starting point is 00:07:18 There are a lot of menus. I don't know. It's listed as an app on a lot of menus. Do they have sides on those menus or do they just have appetizers? Right below it's listed as an app on a lot of menus that's just do they have sides on those menus or do they just have appetizers right below it's wings right above that is avocado
Starting point is 00:07:29 no but what I'm saying is on those menus oh do they also have other things do they have sides as a category some of them probably what's the place
Starting point is 00:07:37 you referenced it's Cheesecake Factory no the first one when we did the draft oh Laurel Tavern yeah it's on there as an app but do they have
Starting point is 00:07:43 a sides category as well I don't know that question let me look it up you can check it out i mean that that really doesn't matter to me because french fries are a side or an app like it's the same thing well i think it does matter if they don't have extra categories well here's the thing yeah french fries is the same thing here's the thing everyone was dogging you because it just said brussels sprouts but for me i'm like it's all in the preparation if it's brussels sprouts with bacon and balsamic on there yeah that's different yeah that's that i thought it was just straight up they don't have a sides category cool no that place is rips well it could be under but but when you were making that no all i said was all i said was they had
Starting point is 00:08:23 an appetizer that's a Brussels sprouts. And I referenced those ones. Right. But if they had a sides category as well, they might move the Brussels sprouts there. Now we're in a hypothetical. I mean, you know, I don't know. Well, yeah. What atmosphere are we in?
Starting point is 00:08:35 It's not under star. I really couldn't tell you. Because I do think that it's more of a. Look, I got to call my lawyer. If you're going to ask me that question, I I gotta call my lawyer. Kevin? Yeah, I gotta call the schmole. I gotta call the schmole. If my options are shared salad sandwiches and burgers and
Starting point is 00:08:52 sweet tooth, yeah, I'll put Brussels sprouts in the shared. But if there was a side category, I think it would go there. Here's my... I don't think you'd get Brussels sprouts as a side with bacon and balsamic. I've never heard of that.
Starting point is 00:09:08 Oh, it's so bomb. No, as a side. Oh, yeah, as a side. It doesn't seem like it goes with a dish. You would get a steamed Brussels sprout as a side. Yeah, it doesn't seem like it goes with a dish. It's the same thing as French fries. You would get cheese fries as an app.
Starting point is 00:09:20 You wouldn't get cheese fries as a side. It's the exact same thing. That's all I'm saying. But look, Chris won. I'm happy to move on. And then at Cheesecake Factory, they put everything. That's what I was saying. Greg made that point.
Starting point is 00:09:35 Small plate snacks and appetizers. Yes. He came back at me with that, yeah. Look, baby, it's an app. Or is it a snack or a small plate? We don't know. I mean. Those Brussels sprouts you explained.
Starting point is 00:09:50 Are wings on that same menu? I mean, by that rationale, wings might be a snack or a small plate. We don't know. I don't know. Right? I think Joe's the ultimate judge. Joe is the abdicator. Or not the abdicator.
Starting point is 00:10:02 What is it called? The guy who fucking makes decisions? The adjudicator. The adjudicator. Adjudicator. The Brussels sprouts. See, I'm big on words. They matter. The words do matter.
Starting point is 00:10:08 I hear you. Joe's the voice of God when it comes to food, beer, and men. Thank you. Yeah, that's right. A fucking man. And that one, yeah, I'll say that's an appetizer. I appreciate it. With the bacon and the balsamic.
Starting point is 00:10:23 Or maybe it means snack small plate so do you have any any love interest in your life anyone here me yeah no no um i haven't had time to focus on that lately right yeah i just i've been doing uh some personal stuff nice we have that lady in stuff nice i do yeah i have like a secret admirer that like writes in and like who she just sent me a picture just a woman that listens to the podcast and yeah it's kind of like she'll like hint at like she'll be like, hey, like she asked me like, hey, what dirty talking do you like to do? And like, what do you want your like things? What are you interested in a partner?
Starting point is 00:11:13 And then she'll like do like wink wink like, oh, maybe it could be me kind of a thing. Like, so, yeah, I'm into that. Maybe. Do you talk back to her? Yeah, I actually did like respond physically to the email like all the emails i'll respond to on the podcast but her i actually wrote one back and i that was the first time i did that what'd you say what she said shows she's like i'm going on a date are you jealous and i said yeah i am oh nice i like you being honest about it yeah i was jealous who was the date with
Starting point is 00:11:49 did she describe the guy no i don't want to i don't want to know about the guy yeah i think she yeah because she said she's into younger guys um yeah because she's like new to the dating scene she's like recently divorced so she's trying to get out there and she's into guys like me which is uh like a lot of women it's not hard to see why i agree yeah so but yeah no no love interests at the moment nice that's probably good it's not good right well people it's probably good this guy's got a girlfriend hanging out in the in the room over there oh yeah it's probably good yeah it is true it's funny like like wellness philosophy will tell you like hey you have to
Starting point is 00:12:46 be okay by yourself no you don't i've talked about this many times that's bullshit but sorry go ahead no i think you're right it is life is better when you have it yeah it's like come on what are you talking about you need someone to bounce things off of yeah things come alive more yeah i mean you just can't be like oh does this shirt look good you're just looking at yourself you want to ask somebody do you talk out loud i do that a lot though i talk out loud to myself when i'm wearing stuff um i usually don't i don't talk to myself out loud maybe i should maybe that's better i don't know i don't know my dad used to mutter a lot to himself he'd just be driving
Starting point is 00:13:26 he'd be like cocksucking motherfucker why the fuck did you do that piece of shit about himself no he'd be talking to somebody else like some guy he was pissed at oh really yeah and then i'd be like dad what happened and he'd tell me some gnarly story that i shouldn't have heard yeah like i got into a fight at a bar this guy fucking stepped in because of this shit i was like that's fucked up man yeah and then uh he'd just be muttering about it but i do that too i give myself like pump up speeches when i'm just hanging out yeah that's good it sounds like a positive thing yeah it's a lot it's energy it's good nice stoked you're back dude it's good to have you back in the room baby yeah i gotta tell you
Starting point is 00:14:05 like when i visited here in may i was kind of like uh feels weird to be back but then i was uh my friend kelly picked me up from the airport as i was like driving back and then getting back into the neighborhood over here i was like it feels great to be here. Just feeling all kinds of nostalgic feelings. Went to Erewhon, went to the park, and I was like, wow, this feels great being here right now. You love being back? Yeah. Yeah, it feels nice. Well, we miss you.
Starting point is 00:14:39 Yeah, I mean, I would like to get back like a lot. It would be cool to come here like once a month. Right. You could come back full-time i could yeah there's always the option yeah yeah i don't nothing's permanent i'm not you know i don't know yeah do you picture yourself as like an old person in austin i mean yeah i i doubt it but i don't really picture myself as an old person in los angeles yeah yeah yeah i mean that's also true like walking on melrose when i'm like 65 yeah probably not through like pop-up shops i think that's more of a newport kind of a thing
Starting point is 00:15:21 kids with like crazy haircuts and like new races i've never seen before yeah i don't think you want to be strolling down melrose at 65 melrose is on the cutting edge of like everything oh yeah haircut complexion shoes stuff i've never seen before yeah well yeah we'll be we'll be on melrose later we'll see. Would you have sex with an alien? Um, man. What do they look like, though? Not like one of the green ones. Yeah, it's hot. She's hot, but she's green.
Starting point is 00:15:59 Like the Independence Day ones with the... You know, I'm not going to do one of those. It could have good suction, though. Suction of what? Your cock. Bullshit. They won't. You think those aliens know how to handle a hog?
Starting point is 00:16:13 There's no way. Dude, have you seen... They're not slimy. They're not trained for that. Dude, do you see how slimy they are? You'd have sex with an alien, right? Fuck yeah. But I think Joe would be the one that our world would send
Starting point is 00:16:23 because you're representative of our dicks it would be our strongest would you say they look like what though? they're hot but they're green yeah then yeah yeah hot and green I have no problem with that would you dirty talk an alien?
Starting point is 00:16:42 like take that you ET fuck yeah this is what the earth earth is about take some earth hog in you take take that back to your galaxy because we could have a ceremony where it's like we're creating a hybrid of their species and ours you know it? It's like Joe and then the alien. And so... Yeah, they can model the hog for their species. Yeah, it'd be like a green alien with a huge dick.
Starting point is 00:17:17 I'm into that. Do you think aliens, do you think their cultures are consumerist do you think that's right it's tough to say because we can only view it through the lens of our human experience and we're very consumerist right gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme they might be totally different who knows they might dude our brain might not be able to comprehend what they look like all of our avalian movies what are they they like use resources and move on they're like the evil that man commits like the aliens in independence day but they might be into some crazy shit we don't even know about they might be beyond consuming yeah you know yeah it could be another dimension exactly they could be here right now but our brains can't see it yeah right
Starting point is 00:18:05 put that in your pipe and smoke it so that's pretty wild i mean yeah so it's tough we have to anthropomorphize but fucking i don't know i hope they're benevolent dude if they are in this dimension hypothetically they'd be made of the same elements as us, right? Carbon. Are we carbon-based? Yeah, all life forms have carbon in them. So if they're carbon-based, they probably would be pretty similar. Yeah, there was a theory one time that I heard on this podcast, Little Atoms, that evolution moves in a direction.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Yeah. So actually when we went to see alien planets, we'd be startled by how similar they were to us. Dude, if they looked just like us, that'd be hilarious. that'd be hilarious but so gnarly yeah that would be cool but then if the climate of their of their home was different i imagine that there would be different right things that would be emphasized yeah i just wanted do they need to be in like the goldilocks because we're in like the goldilocks zone where the temperature's just right so does all life need to be in that yeah does all life need goldilocks it's like they're close enough to a sun with water that's like where earth is around the star the girl from the
Starting point is 00:19:09 no same thing but it's the idea extrapolated to uh you know life the middle porridge which is fucking sick dude that was a great of what was your favorite childhood parable story what's yours uh that's a good question i like it's not a parable but i like ricky ticky tabby i remember i like that name but i forget that story it's the mongoose he kills cobras that's badass and that name i know that's a great or what's your favorite what's your favorite tall tale oh pico's pete was always cool pico's bill yeah you guys never heard of p pick us beat them tall tales like john henry oh i don't know yeah like paul bunyan did you read those no johnny apples he didn't read john
Starting point is 00:19:54 smith none of them or no that's awesome i also don't remember yeah you don't remember childhood no i don't remember anything dude they're pretty fun it's like these large in the life western characters i reset every morning davy crockett's great but he was real wasn't davy crockett real he's the one who died at the alamo and he wore he was the first guy to wear the raccoon hat that's yeah it's pretty bad oh yeah that guy's beast oh davy crockett yeah yeah everyone one of those he was so cool he started wearing that hat and people weren't like cool hat they were like that's fucking sick that's how you know that you're the man dude dude he just puts on that hat and he's just with chicks yeah exactly they're
Starting point is 00:20:35 like i need to get a freaking raccoon skin hat yeah but paul bunyan was sick he's the one who created the great lakes with his footsteps because he was so big and house flapjacks and the grand canyon too right dragging his axe it cut a hole yeah new mexico i don't think i've heard these stories they're pretty fun that's pretty wild yeah i remember the tom sawyer sure he's a thing yeah i don't think I've ever heard of it. Blue Ox. I know the Berenstain Bears. Yeah, babe. Who are they? Babe, yeah.
Starting point is 00:21:08 There's a bunch of bears. Speaking of dimensions. A family of bears, they're pretty endearing. You know the theory on the Berenstain Bears with dimensions, right? No. Because it's actually, Aaron, do you know about this? It's actually like Berenstain Bears. Right.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Yes. Right. But everyone says it wrong so there's a theory that like i don't know how it goes but like that it's in another dimension people say it that way yeah it's like crossed over to ours yeah but it's probably just some other bullshit why do they call it the mandela effect because people when he got out of prison people thought he was in bed oh it's just a public Nelson Mandela pretty cool dude pretty cool guy absolutely a lot of respect Nelson Mandela yeah solid dude dude to go to prison then better themselves impressive yeah exactly if you could have dinner with Cameron yeah yeah cameron poe is a huge prison political prisoner big time nice he he lived a good prison life too the best bro he like reads philosophy and gets jacked and became really good buddies with his buddy does origami
Starting point is 00:22:18 dude yeah with baby oh i gotta re-watch that so fucking good dude what were you saying i was gonna say if you could have dinner with one politician pastor present who would it be oh good question oh i'll just keep lobbing this is i did a podcast today this is just fresh on my mind but maybe aristotle more of a philosopher but also that'd be cool he says man is a political animal poly meaning city so we're and you guys were talking about this we're meant to live in a city with people so man the perfected man is the highest form of creature but the perfected man is cooperating and communicating with other and he uses the nature argument where he's like we have speech and you know we've obviously learned this now like whales have dialects all that shit but this is before all that but he's like the fact that we have speech and can communicate
Starting point is 00:23:03 means we are cooperative means man should be with each other communicating interacting an isolated man is a dangerous bad thing and that can be the downfall of democracies and that's like the sapiens argument too that what made us the most prominent species on the planet at least according to us is that we have the ability to believe in and cooperate around abstract ideas correct you could you can get someone to crash into a building with an airplane and promise them something in the afterlife. You can't get any other creature to do that. No.
Starting point is 00:23:31 I don't care how many bananas you promise someone. If you could convince dogs to be terrorists. Hey, we can convince them to be soldiers, which is badass. If I had just like a thousand golden retrievers at my disposal and I was like, hijack that plane. And who do I hate exactly i'd be like i hate gold i hate yellow labs we're gonna go bomb yellow labs dude golden retrievers hijacking a plane this is awesome and then they fuck you over that that would be they all shave
Starting point is 00:23:58 their heads for some reason oh yeah there was just a line in there shut the fuck up and you're like oh i think i would have either marcus aurelius that's sick oh that's good yeah you'd also have i was gonna go for a jokey one but no i don't want what was your jokey one jesse ventura no that'd be really fun that'd be cool he's a wrestler he was in predator dude his voice is amazing yeah what do you think about the set of tower seven think about it okay think about it what was going on it's got a little vincent d'onofrio i mean i yeah i think he's entertaining what'd you have jim i don't know what about like julius caesar oh dude oh it's a great one, dude. Do they have bad manners?
Starting point is 00:24:48 Do they have similar dinner manners? All these old timers? It's a good question. Do they have utensils? I don't know the Romans. I have bad breath. No, you've got great breath. No, I have bad breath. My girlfriend sent me a dentist contact.
Starting point is 00:25:00 Whoa. Have you ever heard of a toothbrush? I brush my teeth. I think it's just from wear and tear. Some people have that. I just got to take care of it. Did you know I was actually thinking about this? The vape.
Starting point is 00:25:08 No, not the vape. Wear and tear. Was he got a Toyota Camry in his mouth? Mouth breathing is what gives you bad breath. I think I got something going on. I mean, she loves me despite it, but I got to get my teeth cleaned. Maybe it's the vapes. I think it's, yeah, I think it's probably the vape too.
Starting point is 00:25:22 But yeah, she just sent me a contact and said, hey, hit this up before you leave town. I was like, damn, bro. Yeah, I'm on it. But then I kept asking her. I kept going, do I have bad breath? And she was like, no, no, you don't have bad breath. And I was like, all right, well, you're like sending me dentist info.
Starting point is 00:25:38 But then yesterday she's been sick. And it wasn't even that bad. But I kissed her. I was like, you got bad breath. And she got mad. She goes, you have bad breath. I was like, I knew it. You're hilarious. I knew it. It's's not gonna be any more kissy face and then i went and then she said the funniest thing i go why why didn't you tell me i had bad breath and she looks she goes it's
Starting point is 00:25:56 something just all women have to accept oh like dudes all dudes have bad breath bullshit most people don't have bad breath but most people don't have bad breath but if someone was going to have bad breath it's probably dudes yeah I agree mostly guys
Starting point is 00:26:10 because we're eating butt all day 100% yeah like you guys come over we eat each other's asses for a couple hours yes we make some steaks
Starting point is 00:26:17 and we head out it's no big deal but it catches up to you yeah that's a great call you know my dank ass fiance I told her when I was in college that I didn't go to the dentist for seven years that's a great call you know my dank ass fiance i told her when i was in college that i
Starting point is 00:26:25 didn't go to the dentist for seven years that's disgusting and she like made a dental appointment for me and she's like go yeah she's like i'll pay for it she's like i have to kiss your mouth and i went no cavities dude i never have cavities i have bad breath and i don't floss that much i never get cavities that's good i used to get had tons of cavities as a kid. I had soft teeth. I had like 20. What's soft teeth? Are they literally softer than the touch?
Starting point is 00:26:50 I don't know. Either that's a thing or they're basically just like you eat way too much candy. But we're going to call it soft teeth because I ate a shitload of candy and would just wake up and drink Coca-Cola. That was my whole diet as a kid. I ate Skittles all day and I felt amazing. Dude, yeah, I was eating fudgesicles. Put them in my butt i wasn't cavities up there either let's go oh fudgesicles i forgot about those you're big on choco tacos right now i don't know if you want to bring it back up but
Starting point is 00:27:15 is that a real thing that choco taco's gone yeah dude yeah that was my saying it's a it's a marketing scheme oh to like draw demand yeah that was that was my go-to at the ice cream truck as a kid. It's so good. Unbelievable. Summer camp. My go-to is just hanging out with Phil in the back. Nothing weird. What are you doing in the back of the ice cream truck?
Starting point is 00:27:35 That sounds weird. He would just tell me about his life. He's like, yeah, my brother, he was a cop, but I had been in the military. He tried to fight me when I came back, and I told him, look, man, I fight to the death. Like cool anecdotes like that. And you were 10 he was what like maybe 35 40 probably yeah that's pretty cool no but like we were legit friends like we had a good relationship she would just talk to me about stuff it was nice did he teach you any moves because you're always a good fighter early on like you fight well i got beat up a couple times but thank you but you got
Starting point is 00:28:02 in the ring you always got back in the ring. You were a pretty good fighter when you took down. Yeah, yeah, I mean. Did you guys get in a legit fight? That was a, yeah. Our boy was coming in hot, and I had transgressed. It was my fault. I'm going to blank out his name, though. Let's blank out his name.
Starting point is 00:28:16 My boy, I thought it would be funny, because he had a huge cock like Joe, not as big. And I was like, everyone needs to see this. He's hiding this gift from the world people need to see this so then i pantsed him oh and i'm like that's inappropriate i can't pull down someone's pants and expose them and then he got pissed off rightfully so and then but he did let it swelter in like 25 minutes later but at least i'm just hanging out he comes charging at me oh and then i just kind of had to put him down. I wasn't going to fight him.
Starting point is 00:28:46 I was like, dude, fuck. You were like, calm down. Calm down. Yeah. Because we're boys. And I knew I fucked up. And then JT came over and separated and calmed. Dude, there was also that time where that old guy choked me out.
Starting point is 00:28:58 Dude, that was the best thing of all time, dude. It was amazing, dude. We were at a party and there was this old guy who kept arm wrestling all the teenagers. he was being way too aggro it was like a after party for a like a youth football team and i was like 20 or something and i just he kept being macho so i kept smacking his ass and then this old guy goes you smacked my ass one more time and i will fuck you up he's like a dad and he was a dad his kid was there and i I'm like, okay, dude. Okay, dude. Turns around and I smack his ass again. Then he flips back and he's got like a fucking bear claw. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Puts it around my neck and starts choking me. Oh, whoa. And I start laughing. But then he starts to really apply pressure. And I start to, the air's leaving and I'm starting to go out. Whoa. Yeah. Wow.
Starting point is 00:29:41 That makes sense. Yeah. And everyone was just watching. Like my brother and Strider were there but they didn't no one knew no one knew what to do like a dad was choking out a kid yeah and then and he kept going and then thank god my friend emily whose house it was was like stop and she put her arms around the guy and the guy not knowing it was her threw his arm up and she went flying over a table whoa and then every dude shoots and then every dude just ran in yeah wow grab the dad and he he was so funny
Starting point is 00:30:13 they had the dad and you know they had his arms hooked and he was just staring at me screaming in front of all these parents and kids he's like he grabbed my ass he grabbed my ass and then it was amazing that's amazing and then they made him leave and then we got kicked out yeah grab my ass we should have been kicked out for sure but like he this guy definitely should have been kicked out it was so funny dude was that guy drinking too yeah he was up he had like that like where you can feel someone's like alcohol like every time they breathe like red face that like scotch and steak face you know it was like coming out of his pores yeah and uh yeah he choked me good he had a fucking month i couldn't get his hand dude it was a powerful grip but i remember because it snuck up because it was so hilarious and you kept stopping that
Starting point is 00:31:02 jt was choking but laughing he's like because it was and we're like oh this must be funny but yeah emily picked up on it first where she was like this is actually serious yeah and then there was like some football players there like usc football players it's like that dad would have got his ass kicked like right it would have taken like five yeah five or six it was gonna take all of he was buff dude he was a strong dad he was built like uh like that like a suitcase and he had energy he had he had an anger to him yeah he was upset can you imagine coming home after that to your like wife how's your day going to bed grab my ass i choked him out bro so funny dude he grabbed my ass he just kept slapping this guy's ass yeah he just kept touching his butt there is something so funny about doing that, dude.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Was it a hard ass? You also did a little tickle at one point. You're like, dude, that's a great point. Are you smacking it? I forget his name. He's like, great point, Roger. No, I was being stupid. I wasn't smacking. I just kept touching it.
Starting point is 00:31:58 Oh, yeah, that is annoying. It was, yeah. If you're smacking it, it's like, all right, yeah, let's go. It's kind of sporty. But when you're doing that, it's like, all right, yeah, let's go. It's kind of sporty, but when you're doing that, it's like weirdly sexual. And he was probably like, yeah, don't do that. I'll choke you out.
Starting point is 00:32:17 I'll grab your ass, Joe. Oh, man. Yeah, please do. Would you guys bone a robot? No. Really? Yes, I've seen weird science. Oh, she's Yeah, please do. Would you guys bone a robot? No. Really? Yes, I've seen weird science. Oh, she's a robot in that?
Starting point is 00:32:30 Yeah. She might be the most beautiful woman. What was her name? Brock? Kelly LeBrock. Right, she's a robot, right? Oh, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it was a fake.
Starting point is 00:32:42 Yeah, Kelly LeBrock. Yeah, I totally wanted to pork the fembots in Austin Powers. They were super hot. Yeah, bro. That song's so good, too. When I think about you, I touch myself. Oh, I don't want anybody else. When I think about you, I touch myself.
Starting point is 00:33:01 And then they're like, whoa. You know who Kelly LeBrock was married to? Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it. Do you guys know? Macho Man.
Starting point is 00:33:07 Jesse the Bon Ventura. I'll give you, he's an action movie star. Sean Claude. You're almost there. Oh. A lot of open hand strikes. Chuck Norris. No.
Starting point is 00:33:20 Dolph Lundgren. No. Jet Li. Runs like a girl. Big. Big dude. Ponytail. No. Jet Li. Runs like a girl. Big. Big dude. Ponytail. Steven Seagal.
Starting point is 00:33:29 Triple H. Whoa, Steven Seagal. Oh, wow. Nice. Good for him. Dude, when I brought up his car at valet one time, I think I've talked about this before. He just goes, I don't know what I'm going to say.
Starting point is 00:33:41 And I was like, what are you saying? I don't know what I'm going to say. I was like, bro, I don't know what you're saying. What saying i was like bro i don't know what you're saying what car do you have it was unreal bro how do you look at person dude a little bit bloated a little bit of that scotch and stick energy yeah still got that ponytail a sheen to him still had the ponytail how long ago was this this is like a couple years five years now maybe is he big he's a big boy he's tall a little bit of weight to him yeah he's got some heft and didn't he just get famous for being like someone's personal trainer michael ovitz the guy who started caa he was his aikido instructor and ovitz was so powerful in the early 80s and you know steven
Starting point is 00:34:21 scott probably he's got some charisma to him in his own weird way Ovitz was like feeling himself so much he's like I can make a movie star out of this guy great call and then made it happen I was gonna ask you guys this this just made me think of it
Starting point is 00:34:33 the lotto's at like a billion dollars now oh yeah Jack sent us an article about this yeah I think that if I won the lotto
Starting point is 00:34:40 I would still want to kick it with my boys but I'd probably hire a bunch of expert dudes to like I'd hire a judo trainer I'd hire like a fucking chef to teach me like all these like a dude i'd like i'd like hire some guy to give me like the dad experience of like fixing up an old bike yeah i would do all that stuff time to like improvement and all these cool disciplines
Starting point is 00:34:59 it's kind of like that's one of the parts of the matrix is that you can just plug that uh tentacle into the back of your head and learn anything. They'll just inundate you with the knowledge of it. That would be, I'd probably do the same thing if I was a billionaire. I'd just be like, give me all the knowledge. Because you'd have the time. Now your time is whatever you want it to be.
Starting point is 00:35:18 And then, yeah, why not fill it with these fucking rad things? And then, of course, boys trips. 100. I had that same, like i i was looking up because i wanted to learn how to fix a tire yeah like change oil and just basic car shit now that you got a did your gf inspire you with that are you like i need to be able to handle stuff way to jump her car and like i had to google the shit and it's like kind of embarrassing yeah i don't have to google how to jump a car like you know dude that's brave of you to say that
Starting point is 00:35:42 on this platform dude thanks dude i appreciate it yeah but you got to look that up you got to know what you're doing with those cables you don't want to stick things in any hole because i'm used to sticking things in holes yeah i mean but you got to look at the hole first and inspect it or sometimes you just throw it in there sometimes you just throw it in there. Sorry. It also kind of makes sense. It's like, it makes sense why like Jeff Bezos now wants to go to space because he's already experienced so much of like the excitement and adrenaline that our
Starting point is 00:36:17 terrestrial life has to offer that it is like easy to make fun of. But also it makes very obvious sense to me that you would chase that next. I'm surprised more entertainers don't just go into the military or something just to find that next larger fix of excitement. Yeah, like the Tiger Woods doing the Navy SEAL thing was very much about his dad and stuff too, but also the guy's experienced everything. Yeah. What else? And you want to be in service of something bigger and something more exciting and like well where do you go from being like one of the top athletes yeah but there's so much or maybe you play a game
Starting point is 00:36:51 less boring than golf but yeah but there's so much in this world you think people experience this entire world that they need more no but i mean you can't get around all these continents and all these countries you can't even get to all the restaurants in los angeles true but like yeah that's the cool thing about being an actor too is you can take on roles where you have to learn this shit about how to use guns yeah there's stuff like that it's like they it's basically like you can learn all these like tom cruise knows how to do so much shit fly helicopters airplanes guns motorcycles he's incredible motorcycle base jumping skydiving jets jets yeah you know benny and the jets yeah that's cool i would definitely go to space for sure yeah when you do shrooms that's where you go yeah you're like i'm going to space oh
Starting point is 00:37:39 really that's good you should we're looking you should make a documentary about that and just like be you trying to go to space I would totally do that that'd be cool and people would watch that I just think it's so funny there's like billionaires with their white ass teeth you know just strapped in
Starting point is 00:37:55 you know how your head shakes when you're just smiling and isn't it like 10 minutes like you orbit for like literally a little bit and they bring you right back like whoa wait for like 10 minutes to get there orbit for like literally a little bit and then they bring you right back. They're like, whoa. Whoa. You wait like 10 minutes to get there?
Starting point is 00:38:08 No, I think like, yeah. Come on. You're spamming a can, dude. Yeah, would you rather be in like a fighter jet, experience that, or go to space? I think the fighter jet would be too intense. You'd get too nauseous, yeah. Yeah, I'd throw up.
Starting point is 00:38:23 Does it feel that intense on the spaceship as well or is it a little smoother of a ride? That's the thing. I don't know because in Top Gun 2 the experience of the intense Gs I assume it's got to be intense on the spaceship but I don't know if it's the same kind of feeling. Can you vape in space?
Starting point is 00:38:37 That might be a factor. They just came out and said they don't think there's ever been sex in space as far as I know. Oh that if you pop wood and someone climbs up to the tip of your wood that's technically outer atmosphere it's all fucking fat your hog is dude that was how big your boner is dude oh fuck it's my bro joe he's got a big boner yeah do joe i heard your um when you're erect it creates precipitation like clouds form you know you know in like hawaii when the mountains are high enough
Starting point is 00:39:13 yeah it is known to cause a bit of a marine layer if you will yeah i heard if you're lost in the wilderness and you get a boner compasses will make that the true north. And people can get lost. Yeah, that's the best use of the hog, actually. I'm glad to help out, help people find their way. You know, the Egyptian pyramids are actually modeled after Joe's hog. Yes, yes.
Starting point is 00:39:37 Did you guys see this thing that, there's a new article about SSRIs that say they don't help depression? Oh, really? I really tom cruise was right right what are ss oh yeah i saw a clip about him recently tonin inhibitors i don't know what the actual breakdown is but it's the standard i think like lexapro okay the idea that there's no such thing as a chemical imbalance right or that they they huberman was saying i'm piecing this up from not reading a single article but i'm happy to dive into it on a public platform
Starting point is 00:40:03 uh huberman was saying that maybe they don't think it's actually uh serotonin that's affecting depression that it might be another chemical component of the brain right but uh yeah it's pretty nice but i will say like i don't i don't know the heads or tails of any of it but my psychiatrist is hilarious because he's insanely well educated but i'll ask him i'll be like uh like in in periods of time where i've been hyper anxious or whatever i've been like maybe we need to try something else he's like yeah we can try lamictal which i don't think is an ssri but i'll be like let's and i'm like well will it work he's like we have no idea it's roll the dice he's like it's literally just you know trial and error like you just try different things and some things will work and we don't even
Starting point is 00:40:46 know why they exactly work. It just is based off your anecdotal experience of it. Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, in the Tom Cruise thing, he talks about like ADD medication. You're being glib, Matt. Yeah, you're being glib. He's like, you don't know what Ritalin is.
Starting point is 00:41:01 You don't even know what it is, Matt. Yeah, I just. Matt, that's amazing. I literally just saw that's amazing I literally just saw that somebody that was going around Instagram the only part where Cruz goes wrong yeah is when he goes you don't understand this stuff I do right if he just would have left it you don't understand yeah that would have been fine it's just when Tom Cruise goes I do understand yeah all right Tom like yeah like he sounded like he really knew what he was talking about he's a confident
Starting point is 00:41:25 dude yeah i mean it's uh i i you know when i was prescribed adderall i when i started taking i was like i don't think i should be on this shit you know no it's bad for me i have an addict brain so i just started abusing it and i got it from like some cheap lowbrow doctor who slung me pills for no reason yeah me too i mean no he's, no, he's actually a solid guy from Berkeley. No, my doctor was like straight drug dealing. Oh, really? Yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:41:53 I think they only took cash. Really? The doctor only took cash? This took place behind an ice cream truck as well. Well, I don't want to say where it is in case someone goes in there, but it was like next to a Whole Foods, I'll say that say that but it was a doctor's office it's funny when the tom chris thing came out because he's talking about vitamins exercise and at the time i was like vitamins idiot but now i'm like yeah you should get vitamins but i don't know yeah i don't
Starting point is 00:42:22 understand any of that stuff so i can't really speak on it but you've never been on anything right nothing prescribed but i take vitamins i never did multivitamins and stuff i think they do you feel a boost for sure with multivitamins yeah yeah i think so i mean caffeine's the only thing caffeine and alcohol are like stuff that i know that i feel and shrooms dude fucking legit dude well yeah that's like cbd i can't do cbd because it's i need something that's a little more perceptible like yeah with cbd i'm like although the stuff that glassman gave me fucked me up right yeah that made me wonky as shit but for the most part i've never had a reaction to it yeah do you try cbd no i never have yeah i'm afraid to try like druggy stuff.
Starting point is 00:43:07 Right. Yeah. I've just had too many weird experiences. I got shrooms in my bag. You want to do them tonight before we do stand-up? I'm not doing it. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:43:16 The shrooms before stand-up would seem pretty gnarly to me. After stand-up, nice release. Yeah. Are you going to do them? Tonight? Yeah. No, but last time we did our show
Starting point is 00:43:25 at the Improv I was on Mushrooms it was fun the older I get the more like I just need to be in control more
Starting point is 00:43:32 like I I used to just be like I'm gonna get blacked out it's gonna be but I just I don't know you got responsibility I'm getting more prudish
Starting point is 00:43:40 about a lot of things what's that movie it sounds hurtful something borrowed the one with Jim where everyone's a bad person in it what's john krasinski and uh guinifer goodwin and kate hudson yeah something borrowed it's not a fun movie i'm like i don't like any of these people yeah no everyone cheats yeah none of the characters are likable i don't like that yeah i
Starting point is 00:43:58 don't like that that's why you didn't like maverick the mel gibson movie i love that movie oh when i was when i first watched it i didn't like it but now it's a great movie so fun a lot of charm yeah now it's so good but yeah at first i was like kind of because they all lie right yeah i didn't like that and his dad's a liar i'm like everyone's a liar what is this shit poker they're all lying everything's lying can't we just get some world war ii veterans and just get a mission yeah yeah i uh i had a funny thing yesterday my i guess my gf she has a good friend who is good friends with my ex whoa yeah and i never pried but i was like she was like yeah he told me before we went on our first date he said he knew about you and that your ex had told him
Starting point is 00:44:46 about you and i was like oh did she speak well of me and she was like no no really she said and i was like what i was like yeah i was like what'd she say what'd she say and then uh she goes she said you were a toxic manipulative narcissist and i go oh okay nothing too bad i was literally like what i was like oh that's fine like literally i was like worried it would be something else and those are all bad things but for whatever reason i was like yeah that's fine well it didn't seem to bother her so that's good yeah you posted that story and i was like i was like where'd this come yeah i guess you posted like a poll of like what's the oh yeah i posted a poll on Instagram. Do you consider yourself a toxic narcissist?
Starting point is 00:45:32 But all the people who said yes, I'm like, you're probably not because you're aware. Well, also, I think we're quick. Those are like all the go-to words now to describe people. You know what I mean? And I think I am super narcissistic to a degree, but not like completely. Like there's percentages to things. And there's days where you're like more narcissistic less narcissistic and then there's dynamics where you're more narcissistic less narcissistic i don't think people are it i don't think it's all encompassing i think people have dimensions within those things yeah i think yeah i think it's like a i think for me i think
Starting point is 00:46:03 yeah certain aspects where there is narcissism it's it just varies yeah there's like a, for me, I think, yeah, certain aspects where there is narcissism, it just varies. Yeah. And there's like, there's like, it's like in your friendships and your relationships and your career, there's different ways to totally for that stuff to come out. That's also tough. That's cool that she told you that. And also it's,
Starting point is 00:46:17 you're getting a review from someone where things didn't work. Relationships are two way streets. That's what I said. I go, I was like, come on, dude. Like, and it's all like, you want, like, you're getting one side of the story. You're a great guy. You're the man're the man no no but i was pretty shitty too especially towards the end of course that's the end but and i well i told her that too i was like
Starting point is 00:46:31 well does that sound like when i described our relationship to her i think i described it that way without using those words but it was funny when i was walking away she's like that doesn't bother you i was like no it just sounds like she liked me a lot and i was more worried that she would have said that i was not talented lazy or bad at sex that's bad yeah that would suck but those are all narcissistic things to be worried about that too that's hilarious yeah i just want her to think i'm talented and good at sex well maybe yeah narcissistic maybe oh no i couldn't he uh he cooked bad steak and didn't dance well what the fuck did she say what did she say well narcissistic maybe she means you were selfish in bed maybe she means that
Starting point is 00:47:11 that's not true dude it's not true i had my bone because i did have because there was a thing there was a certain thing i like to do like a preamble to sex and i did ask her one time i was like do i do that too much and she was like yeah probably but that was just what got me going you like to just put a leather jacket on and have a cigarette that's your plan where you like to sit in your smoking chair and then get after it no i actually don't think i'm sincerely i don't think i'm a selfish lover i don't think no i i wouldn't think so either are you a selfish lover no with that hog there's no chance yeah by nature of you putting it in someone you're being altruistic benevolent it's true you're not a selfish lover no no finesse bottom and i like to dart yeah dark i hate coming i don't even come dude sometimes i just go in my
Starting point is 00:47:57 closet person i i i eat the butt every time i love that about you that's not that's right my wait a second after the deed is done i'll be like wait a second did we forget something yeah yeah exactly you're like hold on hold on hold on make sure you have my checklist make sure you have wait load check yeah before we uh watch emily in paris yeah make sure you have your coffee I'm just laying there wait a second no I'm not but I also have a little bit of like I've never been one of those guys
Starting point is 00:48:33 I think there's guys who are like very kind of like assertive in the sack or whatever I don't think I've ever been that kind of you're more like go with the flowy yeah I used to have this as a roommate that I had really brief time JT and i lived together first in la but i had a really brief time with this roommate and um all he had and i moved i moved in with him and he just had a mattress sideways in the middle of the room like in a little shared space a fish tank and a
Starting point is 00:49:00 boxing bag and so he'd bone his girlfriend just right there and like he's like oh yeah you can just go sleep in the bedroom and that's where i slept and yeah he was only doggy style like this is where he would bone her out there yeah he would bone in the living room he just like that was his style he's like dude and he'd like and he had a ton of beta fish he's like dude after the fish fight tonight you go to your room and i'm gonna fuck doggy style whoa and you know that relationship didn't work out because here's the thing like dude i'd put on you know i'd listen to good podcasts i'd listen to fucking moby at the time i was listening a lot of lcd sound system and you know the album would end and he'd still just be going doggy style right greedy i don't like doggy style you know i like okay to just go through but i like positions where you feel like
Starting point is 00:49:43 you might make a baby at the end oh i like that yeah like i'm always in my primal brain sex is most horny when it feels like it could end in a kid that's so that's why i'm like big on mish right because you're like super in there and you're like digging in and you're like all right when this comes out then i'm wearing a bag but i'm like there could be a baby right yeah it's just in that and that's even my like legit my dirty talk is like i want to fucking put a baby in you right that's awesome you say that yeah strider would there ever be moments when you're like super hungry and you'd be like i say it all the time you'd have to like go to the kitchen make a pbj and they'd just be doing it doggie style 100 he'd ask me to feed the fish too he's like hey when you're done making that pb and j can you just throw some fish food so he had tons of endurance and he would just keep going yeah and so he'd basically go all day
Starting point is 00:50:28 and he'd be like cleaning the place yeah this poor gal she's just getting like dude yes you'd be like hey can we mix it up and he'd be like in a little bit what was he looking at dude he was looking at his punching bag he'd be even punching his punching he'd be staring at his punching bag that's badass yeah this guy was pretty gnarly. And they got along for a while. She was into it for a while, but then I think she grew out of it. They only did it for like a week.
Starting point is 00:50:50 And he was a preschool teacher? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He worked with kids, yeah. And he wore sunglasses indoors? His name was Mr. Braden. He'd wear sunglasses during it? Oh, yeah. He had fucking full-on shades
Starting point is 00:51:00 because there was such a big, there was such a powerful UV light. Yeah. The whole place was UV light. It was day, it was fucking high noon around the clock in our apartment and you called him mr braden you didn't know his first name or anything yeah he made me call him mr braden that's what it said on his craigslist i don't really know what his first name was that's crazy yeah mr braden did you ever just call mr or was it always mr braden i fucked up one time mr braden and then he said hey stand next to the punching bag can Can you hold it for me? And he acted like he slipped, but socked me super hard in the shoulder.
Starting point is 00:51:27 Whoa. But I caught on to that. He socked me so hard. Yeah. Canelo style. Work the arms first. Make them useless by the later rounds. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:34 He just. Yeah. But I remember one time because you had a landline at that time. So one time he was boning and he's like, hey, you got like a couple of voicemails. I think you have like a family emergency. Yeah. Still boning. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly, dude. He's like, you got like a couple voicemails i think you have like a family emergency yeah still boning yeah yeah exactly dude he's like it was crazy dude he's like dude your grandma really wants to see you like she's reading the will he's like no i can't make it just that's okay and he had one of those out answering machines i missed this they were out loud
Starting point is 00:51:58 yeah i could hear the machine what was his ball slap what was his answering machine message oh his answering machine was he Oh, his answering machine? He would just go, you know like the rally monkey for the Angels games? He'd go, and then just beep. Beep. Beep.
Starting point is 00:52:19 I heard he would do impressions while he was fucking too. That's like the beginning of Down with the Sickness. They do that. Disturbed. I'm probably doing a bad rendition of it down with the sickness yeah dude that's crazy man yeah man that we only lived together for like a month then he um so he choked me out and so i had to move out oh yeah he choked me out while he was boning right yeah i made his dino nuggets from traderader Joe's. I fucking was super hungry. I fucking was like, don't grill these dino nuggets.
Starting point is 00:52:47 I don't give a fuck, dude. And I brought some fresh ranch at that time, just living the single life. Trent Downs choked me out one time because he literally said he was doing it to me as a favor so I could see what it felt like. Oh, that's the worst. That type of guy, dude.
Starting point is 00:53:01 That's a good favor. And he just choked me out in the hallway at school one time. And I had to act like it was cool afterwards but hey trent thanks dude dude thank you yeah thanks for teaching me that knowledge so now i'll know when i'm getting like you say i want to know what it feels like to get knocked out no i'm kind of reluctant to talk about it because i don't want kids to try it but there was a thing where like people used to choke themselves to get a high oh yeah don't like the oxygen deprivation would give them a high and i was just asking him about it before school one day yeah and then he he found me in between periods and choked me i was like that's what it feels like and i was like oh thanks dude i appreciate
Starting point is 00:53:34 that but how did that feel horrendous at my high school they would put kids in sleeper holds a lot that's what it was yeah sleepers and thisnie, you know, he just came up behind me, tried to put me in a sleeper hold, but I just passed out so hard. I was like, oh, oh, oh. And he's like, let me go. He's like, fine, I won't put you to sleep. That's good. You reacted well. Yeah, well, I was just so, I was like, it was kind of embarrassing
Starting point is 00:53:57 because the whole like. Yeah, you flailed. The whole common area was like, it was in like this sort of hangout area for the boarding school. And I was like, oh, oh. And he's like, it was in like this sort of hangout area for the boarding school and i was like oh oh and he's like it was like uncool of me he's not getting choked out yeah yeah but he was like going for it like dude yeah because i've done like fake wrestling moves with people like sleepers and everything but we're always joking around i'm not actually
Starting point is 00:54:21 trying to put somebody to sleep no they what are you guys crazy that's what happens when you you know put kids in the boarding school yeah i guess i was gonna say too like i can't even imagine what it must have been like to be in an all boys school yeah because one of the only oh it's colored you had girls in my ways too oh that's different i did all not the dorms though we weren't allowed to go in their dorms you were at an all-boys school yeah my my high school was all boys catholic yeah that's a bummer dude oh it's weird so would you guys like fart in front of each other yeah yeah you gotta let those go there's no reason to hold them back man yeah there were teachers that would have like spray they would spray the classroom like with air freshener yeah they would guys would fart that's what i imagine because like the girls are
Starting point is 00:55:01 a good buffer for our like worse behavior yeah yeah like because if you act like too girls are a good buffer for our like worst behavior yeah like because if you act like too much of a dingback i was like you're gross and then you're like i'm not gonna behave like yeah there was no reason to be hygienic yeah so you guys are just farting in front of each other would you guys have like boners in class and like point out and be like dude i got a boner no we wouldn't do that i wasn't getting boners don't don't they say i not anymore for me but like don't they say like if you're like a healthy man you're supposed to get like five boners a day really yeah whoa yeah but at what age whoops oh fuck um like just automatic boners or give yourself it depends what you're doing if you're working all
Starting point is 00:55:45 day and you're like around people you're not getting boners yeah i'm pretty sure like 30 this is crazy online doctor dot lloyd's pharmacy how many times does a man get erect in a day the average man has 11 erections each day what as many where are these dudes yeah that can't be right what yeah there's no way 11 how are you supposed to do your job you know what it's a pharmacy thing i think they're trying to peddle dick dick drugs yeah yeah 11 boners a day no no way healthline.com people with penises have 11 boners a day maybe you get them while you sleep yeah three to five when you're sleeping i don't get that many when i'm sleeping dude i've been i've been oh yeah this is concerning because i've been i've been sunning them i've been ice bathing them i've've been, you know, watching Independence Day and visualizing boning the alien.
Starting point is 00:56:50 You're getting boners in the ice bath? If you get a boner in the ice bath, that's powerful, dude. How can you do that? That sounds like it's a battle. Like an oxymoron or something. That's amazing, dude. Yeah, I just focus and I just sort of like, I just sort of think of like, you know, hot mature tits.
Starting point is 00:57:08 Yeah. Yeah. I like to cry when I have a bum. I bet if you can get it in the ice bath, I bet it's really rock hard. Yeah. I mean, it's like. Because then it's really like an icicle.
Starting point is 00:57:19 It's exactly it. Yeah. It's a popsicle. Yeah. If you dink it, will it like break like the t100 and that's the danger too yeah yeah you just sounded like robert de niro and he you're like that's the that's the discipline that's the danger yeah um dude should we answer some cues yeah down stokers i'm interrupting this dang four horsemen podcast let you know once again that we got a show
Starting point is 00:57:48 coming out august 23rd on netflix chat jt go deep add it to your list right now so you can watch a day of get the notification what up and uh we are on tour we're hitting dates all over america we're gonna keep adding dates keep your eyes peeled but we're coming for the east coast we're hitting dates all over america we're going to keep adding dates keep your eyes peeled but we're coming for the east coast we're coming in hot for you east coast what up and some midwest i'm talking chicago we also added a second chicago show so we had a late show so get your tickets at chat jt.com um and also we're brought to you by the legends at manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our trends p for looking after our hog, for making sure that our dinks are looking fresh and clean, because if you got pubes poking out of your underwear, if you got a bush coming out
Starting point is 00:58:33 over your dink, messing with the size of your hog, if you just got pubes and you want to give them the trim that they're looking for? Check out Manscaped, guys. This is the premium all-in-one company. If you want to get your body looking tight, smelling good, and fresh with pubes and all just types of body hair, pristine, because you can get the platinum package, which has everything. You know, they got the Lawn Mower 4.0, the body wash, the 2-in-1 shampoo, the weed whacker ear and nose hair trimmer. They got ball spray toner, anti-chafing boxers, the shed travel bag, all that good stuff.
Starting point is 00:59:15 And I mean, there's 6 million dudes worldwide who trust Manscaped. So by going to manscaped.com, you can get 20% off with free shipping with the code GODIP. You know? Get on the train guys get that manscape stuff all over your pubes because it's the best so get 20 off and free shipping with the code go deep at manscaped.com that's 20 off with free shipping at manscaped.com use code go deep use the platinum package because the gold standard is no longer good enough. All right. Let's get back to the show. Is a competition between two bros to see who can stay single the longest.
Starting point is 00:59:52 Dumb. What is the plot from the movie Tomcat? Yep. And also wedding. Oh, a little bit. Yeah. It's a good script idea. It depends how old you are. Yeah. Yeah not gonna do it now yeah if you're 18
Starting point is 01:00:10 you know i almost think it has the reverse effect too like if you're like two bros and you're like who's gonna stay single the longest it'll actually maybe power up your desire to not be single yeah that might manifest yeah it's actually a good idea. I'm going to do that. That's what I was thinking. It's like you won't have any sort of desperation. Yeah, people will like your resistance. You'll be like, actually, I'm trying to stay single. And then they're like, really?
Starting point is 01:00:33 Why? And then you're like, oh, you know, it's important to me. Yeah. And it'd be cool if one of the guys came in one day and he's like, dude, I'm out. He's like, I can't do it. It's love, you know? Yeah,. He's like, I can't do it. It's love. Yeah, it's kind of fun to lose when the consequences of losing
Starting point is 01:00:50 are that you're in love with someone. And, too, it could sort of weed out any sort of – because sometimes people might sort of force themselves into relationships. Right. They can't be single. You're not going to settle if there's competition online. There's no settling happening. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:01:08 Yeah. So it's actually kind of really brilliant. Yeah. Yeah. It's just your approach. Because I mean, you could really stay single if you're like, I live at my mom's house and I own a sword. I don't know if ladies are really going to like that.
Starting point is 01:01:19 Right. But you also might find a lady who really does. You know what I mean? But odds are, hey, what's up? I'm 42. I like to just wield my sword around not for exercise but just to feel its energy um you're gonna stay single for a while nice what sword is more concerning if it's a broad sword or a samurai sword i think samurai actually no broad broad samurai can be decorative i feel like yeah right it's a little more elegant yeah if you're rocking a broad sword you're like dude
Starting point is 01:01:44 relax yeah you're like well i mean i guess you can get away with the excuse like it's william wallace's but like if you'd like just have a broadsword it's like i went to knott's berry farm and i couldn't not have it yeah it's very love on the spectrum yeah so i guess you got to just be watch your approach and then on the other side of that is if this competition is coming from a place of oh man can we just churn through ladies i also don't think that's the nicest thing maybe this is me getting soft to my older age but you know if you're also a young guy and the ladies want to just bone too and have fun cool but just make sure you don't you know well what i like about it is that they're not framing it as like who can bang more in a year it doesn't feel like that that's good but i worry
Starting point is 01:02:24 about that yeah that doesn't feel built in but that is the concern but no i think this is cool because i think it'll have the opposite effect yeah and you'll be more discerning in your in your partners um okay uh my friend always comes around me and my girlfriend at lunchtime when he's one mad awkward dude how can make the situation with him so awkward that he bails? How do I out awkward him? Frankie Deal. Nice name, first off.
Starting point is 01:02:52 What's a... My friend comes around me and my girlfriend at lunchtime when he's one mad awkward dude. How can make the situation with him so awkward that he bails? How do I out awkward him? Well, your buddy the guy who does doggy style in the living room that seemed like a pretty good solution yeah for sure i'm yeah i would like i would bring like a fish with you to lunch like a live fish not intended
Starting point is 01:03:16 for eating and be like hey man this is we're just gonna hang out with my fish we're just kind of doing that and he'll be like i like to look at fish too oh really you do i never knew that come here dude let me punch you that will work yeah yeah you can ask him like really personal questions too yeah yeah start yeah make it comfortable hey man what's your biggest failure in life and then if he's down and he answers, sounds pretty cool. I'd let him hang. Yeah, that's pretty vulnerable.
Starting point is 01:03:48 And that's like ability, baby. So I think, you know, look, we all know where this is going. You got to have an honest conversation with the dude and be like, hey, man, I just want to have lunch with my lady today. Why are you third wheeling?
Starting point is 01:03:59 You know, you don't need to attack him like that, but be like, dude, you're kind of third wheeling. Like, I like you, bro. But, you know, if you see me and my dank ass GF here, it's kind of date time for our lunch. Maybe make out with your girlfriend a lot, too. Yeah. Yeah. Start kissing.
Starting point is 01:04:14 And then if he's into that, he sounds pretty cool. I think you got to test how awkward he really is. Yeah, you got the right idea of being awkward with him. Oh, this is Dear Chad and JT. I'm just going to get to the point. I'm a recently divorced, attractive blonde. I'm looking to have a lot of fun that I've missed out on in the last 20 years. Consent pick if you would like.
Starting point is 01:04:37 Jack, thanks for picking this one. Jack, way to write this thing. Wait, this sounds like the- Did you write this? Did you write this one? Wait, keep going. This sounds like this sounds like they're unbelievable dude wait wait keep going this sounds like uh the mother emailer that i get does she go by donna she goes by that yeah whoa the email you get is on there that's her yeah no way this is for sure a, but we'll pretend it's a chick.
Starting point is 01:05:06 So we feel cool. Yeah, women don't listen to my show. Yeah, this is a dude, dude. My youngest son, Barry, does that check out? I think so. Who's your biggest fan? I listen to your show every week and we can't get enough. I'm especially infatuated with your cute smile, Chad, and your masculine physique, JT.
Starting point is 01:05:24 Getting to the point, my question is, would either or both of you ever consider dating a woman more mature than you, either as a fling or as a serious relationship? Sorry if I'm coming on too strong. I know this is a family-friendly show and don't want to offend, but I really feel connected to you guys, or as I like to call it, your squad. By the way, we already have tickets to your show in Charlotte in a couple months. Maybe we set up a meet and greet with my son after the show. Then I show both of you some Southern hospitality. Don't worry, I don't bite, JK. Yours truly, Donna.
Starting point is 01:05:59 No, read the parentheses. Please. Oh, shit. Please call me Elizabeth so my son doesn't catch on that's dude that's why joe was being cryptic pointing i'm like dude how do you not know just say it okay that makes sense yeah that's the same woman that's awesome um i love that i mean we're not exactly a family-friendly show. We talk about Joe's penis nonstop. And the answer is yes, I would consider dating an older woman as a fling.
Starting point is 01:06:31 Or as a serious relationship. Not a serious relationship because I want to have children. You could be a stepdad. And how old are we talking? I mean, she can have kids up to, I mean, you know, there's more risk. No, I mean, I'm 38, So I'm thinking like an 80 year old. 45 to 50 range. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:50 You know, me and Chad are both. Both taken. In committed relationships. Yeah. I love my girlfriend. She's the best. Me too. That's fucking rad, dude.
Starting point is 01:06:59 Yeah. GF bros. But, but if any other guys want to write emails like this they make me feel good and I'll read them yeah dudes keep them coming man
Starting point is 01:07:09 that's pretty rad hey fellas thank you dude you know what we did that show Culture Court great show by Matt Lockwood and Keith Johnson
Starting point is 01:07:19 well actually we didn't do it we were like supposed to like headline it which was a great honor and then when they brought us up the show was running over and the manager of the comedy store came up and said, show's over. And we'd literally been up there for like three seconds and they booted all me, Strider and Chad off the stage, which was hilarious.
Starting point is 01:07:35 But one of the prior, so what they do at the show is, is they, they have two comedians go against two other comedians and they debate a topic and it's like court. But one of the things was that one of the guys works for only fans and he's a uh oh that's right he's the messenger for like a bunch of uh hot chicks on there who put out like nudes and he's the one solely responsible for all the dming so the case was about like is that okay that he does that and tricks these dudes? And that was really startling because he was showing me how he does it. And so he literally has to like adopt a seductive female persona and be like, hey, sweetie, you want another photo for today? You've been so cute all day. I feel like you deserve it. And he's just writing that shit to dudes all day long. And the dudes are like, oh, this hot chick's messaging me.
Starting point is 01:08:25 But it's not. But it's not even the chick? No, it's the dude. Oh, OK. So I thought he's getting a cut from the hot chick. They are. They're paying him to do it. Oh, they are?
Starting point is 01:08:34 OK. Yeah. But it's like an administrative role. But none of those messages are from Gav. But the woman's real, but the messages aren't from her. No, the banter back and forth is just like- That's a good job is like he looks like us i feel like that should be like it's kind of a bummer that like that
Starting point is 01:08:49 you know isn't actually from the lady for the guy for the consumer but like you gotta figure that's what's going on like come on yeah it's a business bro especially if it's like a really famous yeah yeah there's no way this is she's taking the time you know how many messages she's getting a day yeah there's probably like four of those guys on the payroll yeah come on and then also like it is weird for him to get into that mindset but like he knows what guys want and do you think he wrote a sample that's interesting probably like applied you know writing right show me what you can do yeah yeah like here's some prompts and it's like yeah describe all right here's one brocephalages of the highest order sorry i burped i had a couple beers all
Starting point is 01:09:35 right the title of the email is roommate friend i think i love her question mark i'm a 29 year old dude and i currently live with an absolute babe in my apartment she's one of those people I never want to lose from my life and recently I've developed feelings for in a major way she's also been throwing flirty vibes my way but I'm having an issue in deciphering whether they have remote romantic intentions or if she's just being a good friend for instance she brought she bought me a really nice birthday gift and posted on her ig story about me when I mentioned getting a haircut she immediately asked if she could cut it. We have long talks about love languages and cute stories about how people in our lives have met.
Starting point is 01:10:12 We are always texting throughout the day as well. I keep waking up after having steamy dreams about her and it's all consuming at this point. How do I let her know that I am interested in being more than friends without jeopardizing my living situation or an already solid friendship? Do I tell her or wait to see if she makes it super obvious? I am interested in being more than friends without jeopardizing my living situation or an already solid friendship. Do I tell her or wait to see if she makes it super obvious? All my bros are split on whether or not I continue to play a cool or shoot my shot.
Starting point is 01:10:33 Whoa, dude. I say be like, Hey, tomorrow night, let's like watch the bear on Hulu. Let's binge it. And then we'll,
Starting point is 01:10:43 we'll, we'll order, cook up some fun fun fancy meals that are on like the edge of our abilities and i'll buy a couple of bottles of wine maybe and then you get loose you get hammered not too hammered obviously and then you just turn to her and you go for the smooch i like that yeah yeah because if it's at the point where it's like it's all the way it's the steam's all the way up it's it's boiling what is it and food the lid is about to burst off yeah you got then you got to go for it
Starting point is 01:11:11 you got to do something i think that's a great idea instead of just verbally saying it i think make an experience making it obvious without actually saying it and then just kind of letting it happen naturally. I think that's a brilliant idea what you said. And food is sensual. Like when I was watching The Bear, I was like, I get why all these girls are attracted to leading it
Starting point is 01:11:32 because it's like, it's hot watching someone make food. You know what I mean? He's like doing a reduction on the sauce and it's like, I don't know, it's all just like steaming and seductive. And then like, yeah, do like a pork belly thing. Doing something as a team is great. Even like Hello Fresh Meals with my dank fiance is fun.
Starting point is 01:11:51 We put on a little music. That's great advice. I would say then go a step further. Baby, hopefully it works out. Hopefully it's great. But if it doesn't work out, you're moving out. That's what I'm saying, bro. So be ready for that.
Starting point is 01:12:03 I'd say maybe towards the end of your lease yeah yeah do it towards the end of the month or or maybe at the beginning of the month so then you have time yeah bro do this bro we're almost at the end of july august 1st baby that's what you're doing i think it's a monday a little bit weird but okay fine do it on sunday night yeah yeah so she's 31st she rebuffs you you could be like well good thing we're month to month because daddy's out of here next 100 bro the other way you go you're like all right look i'm in love with you i want to be with you she's like now you're like all right well i'm gonna be here for the next six months yeah yeah have fun dealing with that eyesore yeah but i dude i don't know i don't i i think broadly like when
Starting point is 01:12:45 when you're into someone it's better to get to the end of that situation faster and just figure out if they're into you because then like if you're kind of just accepting less than what you want i think it's like death over like a thousand days like just get there yeah just figure it out yeah baby um all right last question ahoy there captains of stoke i have adhd i come from a repressed religious family and i feel like i've been hiding myself from people for the longest time until recently i've started to be more open with people and with what i'm i've become more close with a girl at work we've both known for a year about the crushes we have on each other she's bipolar so we both somewhat know what it's like
Starting point is 01:13:30 to be neurodivergent we both deal with emotional dysregulation in varying degrees and we both so much struggle with loneliness the thing is she's 17 almost 18 and i just turned 24 i'm aware of the stigma you know what dude um there's a lot more here i think you just got to keep it moving yeah just keep it moving brother you'll find somebody else sorry dog yeah that was a fun question to end on um um all right dude chad what's your beef of the week bro my beef of the week is Derek who lounges on the turf at Equinox so on the turf at my gym
Starting point is 01:14:13 there are battle ropes there's like a little bit of turf and there's a sled and there's battle ropes right there and this one dude Derek just lounges there all day so you know i'll be gearing up ready to to you know battle some rope just take him and do some cool moves you know just sort of make my presence known dominate the turf but he's lounging there on his
Starting point is 01:14:36 phone and then occasionally he'll get up and do like a kettlebell swing and i'll be like dude you don't even have to be on the turf for this and he'll just every time I go there it's just Derek you know and I'm and he's like hey what's up dude I'm like yeah what's up Derek like find another place to swing your k-bell dude you know because daddy's trying to rope and on top of that they just put a new battle rope start longer so it takes up more space so oftentimes i'm not able to b rope and it's able you know it's kind of inhibiting my ability to get my arms as toned as i'd prefer and you know that's not something you want in this world you know and you have the ability to have the tone that you're desiring but you know some douche is just sitting there on Twitter not letting it happen that's fucking messed up man thanks dude my
Starting point is 01:15:32 beef of the week is with everyone giving Aaron Rodgers shit for showing up looking like Cameron Poe to training camp I don't know if you guys saw this but he showed up with long hair in the white tank top with the jeans. And he looked exactly like Cameron Poe. And I'm like, that's awesome, dude. That's the sickest thing I've ever seen. So why is this bad? I even mentioned this to JT.
Starting point is 01:15:55 I was like, dude, you see, this is pretty funny. And JT's like, you know, I do love the way Rogers lives his life. He just gets after, he's into aliens. He podcasts, he tells people to relax. Now, should he like, is the green bay packers organization organization going to suffer because of some of his antics in the off season and you know saying you know whatever with the draft a year or two ago yeah you know he's a bit of a madonna but guess what he slings the rock and i love his new look yeah i get fired up on a new look for someone especially a dude and dudes don't often
Starting point is 01:16:26 feel sexy yeah so if he feels sexy like that then go for it dude and Cameron Poe is a sexy look yeah
Starting point is 01:16:33 so was he trying to look like that or did he just wound up looking like that that's a good question I don't know if he knew about it
Starting point is 01:16:39 that'd be cool if he did but I think he might because he's kind of you know this guy knows what he's doing a little bit
Starting point is 01:16:44 you know no I think he does yeah I also think when you're like super popular it must just get boring to do the right thing all the time and i think sometimes it's fun to mess up and just feel that too it's like it's kind of connected to the billionaire uh uh like thought experiment we were working through like i think he's just like hey what if i just try to be this guy for a day and just see what happens exactly they're kind of just having fun with i don't know making public choices and seeing what the room kairi irving's kind of like that him and aaron rogers should do a podcast together yeah weird on weird yeah like weird on weird not
Starting point is 01:17:19 much evidence not much science behind it but hey we feel it i would watch i would listen i'd be very curious yeah who's your beef of the week joe uh my beef of the week is uh with bird scooter um so i well did you guys ever take a ride where okay my phone went out of battery during the ride oh yeah so i couldn't end the ride so i had to go up into my apartment wait for my phone to come back on it was like five more minutes and then i i saw like when i came back on that the meter kept running the scooter's been parked for like at least five minutes now and the meter's still running and i emailed them and they said that they wouldn't give me uh the money back because it was like five extra dollars than what it should have been oh that's whack that they
Starting point is 01:18:11 wouldn't give you and they said no that's the that that ride ended appropriately or whatever it's like they got to take there should be once the scooter's parked for a minute it goes off i mean what are what are people doing they're not hanging out for a minute on there turn it off yeah people's phones go out of battery how do they not take that into account scammers yeah it's kind of whack yeah tell them it surprised me that as a guy who enjoys salt on a cucumber as a snack would have a low battery charge on his phone those seem counterintuitive dude yeah well yeah i got it i gotta stay i gotta be better with charging at night it's always going out of battery
Starting point is 01:19:01 dude my beef of the week is somewhat connected to that. It's about transportation. I think as a species, culture, civilization, we should have better modes at this point. I'm trying to go to Nantucket next weekend. I have to take two flights. It's going to take me two days. And then we're going to Des Moines. It's taking you two days to get to Nantucket?
Starting point is 01:19:24 Yeah, because I leave at 11. i get into newark at 8 and then you have to take a plane from there to get to nantucket so it's two days of travel then it's gonna take me two days to get to des moines for a shoot we're doing i mean it's fucking stupid dude like how do we just not have better things like why are there not bullet trains everywhere that just do like a thousand yeah yeah why is there not like i don't know like every time i'm in a plane i'm like is this really the best way we can do it yeah i'm like it feels a little bit i just don't know where we allocate all of our energy sometimes too in terms of improving things and i think transpose one that could use a definite facelift yeah dude big time who's the secretary of transpo right now is it buddha judge dude pete
Starting point is 01:20:11 get some bullet trains on there dude yeah let's go bro bring back the freaking concord for real yeah i'd fly the concord what was that again it's like the super fast does the speed of sound only commercial plane that does the speed of sound dude bring back the concord they should all be concords at this point well they always have like those blueprints for those trains but they never come to fruition right or like the models or whatever yeah yeah newsome and why does it why does it take me six hours to get to new york what's that mean it's too long it's well that's a long distance i mean it would like from austin to here it's only two and a half hours but that's
Starting point is 01:20:50 i can i can deal with that yeah that's a nice six is tough we need that's why i don't go to europe oh yeah do you want to go to europe i'm like uh how long am i on the plane yeah i'm like i can't sleep on i don't know what people do that whole trip's gonna be fucked yeah trip's gonna be fucked I don't care what beignet I'm having over there it's not good enough for that flight it's not worth it the only way I'm going to Europe is if I can bring an air mattress and do doggy that would be pretty cool
Starting point is 01:21:16 that's a great call that's why private jets are cool I want other people to watch I want to be on a commercial I want a town square, yeah. I heard that's what they do on Concord. They make you get to watch people fuck? You do doggy at the speed of sound.
Starting point is 01:21:32 That's rad, dude. Yeah. So like your moans are like, you know. Let's say you're on your way to New York and you're like going over like, you know, your moans are still in nevada whoa yeah i'm that's a good riddle dude if you're on if you're boning doggy on an air mattress on concord and one takes off from florida and the other one takes off simultaneously from california and you cross over fucking des moines whose moan are you hearing whoa des moines you know sonic boom moist
Starting point is 01:22:11 when you do doggy on a concord the sonic boom is like chat who's your baby of the week uh my baby of the week is cole hauser dude that's sweet the actor yeah he's awesome he's a beast i mean that's a great baby of the week dude yeah he's i mean i'm watching yellowstone right now he's a rip in yellowstone just a just a man's man real just fucking he'll beat the fuck out of you and he's he has you know assertive sex um nice nice for sure i don't mean that in like a rapey way i get you yeah maybe edit that out no no that's fine because my intention is in like one of the first episodes he's banging against like a dresser it's a character true yeah stand-up sex always works yeah he's doing he's doing stand-up
Starting point is 01:23:04 sex we've talked about that yeah i was with my girlfriend i was like i was jerry mcguire yeah it's a romantic comedy starts off yeah that's great yeah strawberries dude yeah yeah kelly preston you klutz firing stand-up sex in yellowstone he he stands up for the jimmy i think the drug addict and just a good guy rip what up and then uh you know we gotta mention carter verone too fast too furious excellent villain he's in um i just remembered in um good uh good yeah good will hunting and dude matt damon said that he's such a cool guy yeah that he actually going into most scenes would be like hey just like lose half my dialogue. Right. Yeah, yeah. He was canceling his own dialogue. Yeah. Which like no actor.
Starting point is 01:23:47 Yeah. Is he the third friend? Yeah, he's the curly haired one. He was like, when he gives him the car, he's like, it's a good car. It's a good car. Yeah. Oh, okay. That's a great scene by him right there.
Starting point is 01:23:55 He's awesome. He's like, it's a good car. It's a good car. He's a dude. And I think he realized that that character wouldn't talk much. Totally. He was given real faithful kind of of representation that kind of person yeah they're all buddies they all came up together it's really sweet the dynamic is so real between them
Starting point is 01:24:11 dude yeah and uh what are some lines from uh too fast superiors uh it's just like it's it's like also like the amount of saliva in his mouth when he's always sweating he's like you better get this done you gotta get this done for me yeah i'll cut you like a rat yeah he's like um oh fuck i can't remember any lines god damn it i should prepped anyways kohlhauser well we're doing four podcasts this week so i'm yeah i'm ripping from nowhere right now yeah yeah but i mean you know that's a great one if you're an actor you know i i hope casting directors are like all right we have a stand-up sex scene you know who has good stand-up sex and i hope they go for strider i was gonna say but if they pick you number one with how much you rehearse dude yeah dude i would crush that you'd be like dude hey can i come over to your house and pick you up like five times yeah
Starting point is 01:24:58 yeah you'd be rehearsing like wow you were really prepared i'm like jt's in the corner he's like what's up brother sitting on an ice pack good take brother yeah dude you nailed it yes you got crutches yeah yeah you'd rehearse the shit out of that uh strider who's your baby the week dude dude uh i think my baby week's probably gotta be my dank ass fiance dude just just for gripping and ripping and being an absolute beast dude um did she made these dank ass i just wake up and smell something dank in the apartment dude she makes these protein pancakes dude getting jacked while eating something tasty you better believe my fucking day was stoked from there on out so
Starting point is 01:25:42 let's go believe that yeah so i was fired up on that out. So let's go. Believe that. Yeah. So I was fired up on that. You know, once you do something sick like that, you know, I'm doing the dishes. I'm like, go ahead. Don't go on to whatever else you're going to do. Appreciate you starting my day like this. That's nice. Fucking rad.
Starting point is 01:25:58 Do you get like, do you feel good? Like when you're doing the dishes, like, hey, we're a team. Yes. I'm happy to do it at that point. I'm like, fuck. Yeah, dude. I like to contribute. Yeah, that's what it is. Right. Yeah. yeah everyone does their part joe what's your who's your baby uh my baby of the week's gotta be uh my buddy dan who answered my instagram
Starting point is 01:26:15 plea for help in finding a new place to live and offered me a room at his house uh really coming through for me and it's great that when you put yourself out there and then people are willing to help and uh and uh yeah it's awesome that dan's able to take me in and let me live at his house. So that's pretty awesome. That's rad. Is this the dude that I met when we were at the Irish place? No. No, this is a different guy.
Starting point is 01:26:54 Chad, who's your legend of the week? My legend of the week. Well, first off, I got Carter for round quote. Hey, you. Pockets aren't empty. Roman played by Terry. Damn. I'll take my cutter back great quote well that cutter he means the cigar cutter but my babe of the week is luke grimes flow and yellow
Starting point is 01:27:14 stone um i think it's tremendous just really inspiring good montana cowboy flow you know with the facial hair i'm every time i see it i, damn, can't wait for my hair to grow back like that. Yeah, I just want to give him a shout out. Strider, who's your legend? My legend is Gus, dude. Just had JD on the History's Dank podcast, legend. But Gus shows up, gave him a ride there, posted up in the studio, and he saw the assortment of beverages there, and he's like, I'll shotgun
Starting point is 01:27:45 any of these just off the cuff. And he did. He shotgunned a hazy IPA and then a tall boy sparkling water, which was really cool. It really boosted the stoke. What a beast, dude. I see. Yeah, and punctured the cans around electronics,
Starting point is 01:28:02 a lot of electronics. And I asked him, and he goes, no, bro, I'll find that air bubble. Don't worry. They call me Tank. I witnessed why. That's sick. Joe, who's your legend of the week? My legend of the week is the four horsemen plus Aaron and Jack.
Starting point is 01:28:26 Let's go. This is where it all started for me as far as podcasting goes. And you better believe it's great to be back here doing this. So I love it. And I'll come back anytime. I'll do it every week. I'll fly in. You're always welcome to go. We love yeah i love you guys love you bro love you bro yeah i love you is um rob low oh hell yeah yeah it's a cool guy it's a really cool guy actually no my legend of the week is joe nice all right that's cool it's good to have you here don't
Starting point is 01:29:13 yeah it's great to be here it feels uh well i guess the million dollar question then is and i don't want to pressure you but are you moving back to la i mean i don't know you're on, but are you moving back to LA? I mean, I don't know. You're on the fence, right? Because you were considering it. Yeah. I mean, I was also going through a pretty hard time when I was doing that. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:29:34 I'm still just kind of, I don't know. We got to, not yet. But, you know, there's nothing, you you know everything's on the table you know the world's very unpredictable so I don't I don't say anything's permanent I don't have anything set in stone so we'll just
Starting point is 01:29:56 we'll see how it goes but it does feel great being here I'll say that I like that I like the suspense well I mean it's the truth i don't know it's i'm not gonna say yes or i'm you know i don't know ever if i say no i don't know i don't know it's fair it's fair we'll see yeah 100 yeah whoa that's right. Oh yeah, I saw those. Those look cool. I haven't joined a team yet in Austin.
Starting point is 01:30:31 But yeah, I do want to play again. Chad, who's your legend of the week? What's your quote of the week? My quote of the week is from Rip and Yellowstone. It's hard to measure almost almost because almost doesn't matter i love that this is a i think is a paraphrase from plato and he says beauty educates the soul oh that's nice nice so joe what's your quote of the week Beauty tea darts Quote of the week is
Starting point is 01:31:09 Could it be like a movie line Yeah of course I was watching the Big Lebowski again Which I tend to always watch on Flights and One of my favorite Lines is when The dudes leave in the big Lebowski's house
Starting point is 01:31:27 after he meets Bunny for the first time. And she's like, I'll suck your cock for $1,000. And Brant's walking around. He's like, I'm just going to go find a cash machine. That's the best. Yeah. Chad, what's your quote of the week? Phrase of the week? Yeah, sorry. Phrase of the week phrase of the week
Starting point is 01:31:45 yeah sorry phrase of the week I'm all over my phrase of the week is let's bust tonight's load yeah yeah it's amazing to say that in front of other people and just there'd be quiet we're just so used to this just disgusting banter that we're like
Starting point is 01:32:13 well dude this thing while we were doing when we were like editing the show we had one zoom meeting with like you know producers and it was all about a dick joke and they're like you know you know these producers are like they're just like uh maybe no i think we should show the full thing you know instead we're like i think we should you know it's like was this with the the tower one when we're being schmoles that one i think so i can't remember specifically yeah we're yeah did we leave we left that in right yeah i think so it was funny yeah and in the meeting i was like i can't remember specifically yeah we're yeah did we leave we left that in right yeah I think so it was funny yeah
Starting point is 01:32:46 and in the meeting I was like I can't believe this is our job it's rad that is rad just dissecting 12 smart people arguing about it
Starting point is 01:32:55 yeah arguing about a dick joke Colbert talks about that he's like taking your silly very serious yeah yeah it's very good Strider
Starting point is 01:33:02 probably uh ooh wah dude I might have the worst ooh wah of all time ooh wah Yeah, yeah. It's very good. Strider. Probably. Ooh, wah. Dude, I might have the worst ooh, wah of all time. Ooh, wah. I mean, I have the gist of what you're trying to say. Yeah. Bless you.
Starting point is 01:33:13 Ooh, wah. Yeah, that's pretty good. No, that's not bad. Ooh, wah. It's better than what I could do. You try it. Ooh, wah. That's not bad.
Starting point is 01:33:23 That's pretty good. Yeah, I went for it. Yeah, it wasn't bad. Thanks. Can you it it wasn't bad thanks can you hit it again yeah can you hit it again yeah that's great people are gonna see me it's amazing they're gonna make that into something joe what's your phrase that we're gonna after it uh let's crush it tonight boys let's go hollywood improv oh my phrase that we forget after it is ball with the ball to bang the bang boogie just say i'm jump the boogie so i'm jump no what is hold on my phrase will be forgetting after it is ball with the ball to bang the bang boogie boogie said a boogie said i'm jump the boogie well said yes thank you that's a great one all right four horsemen let's go let's ride let's ride y. Y'all, y'all, y'all.
Starting point is 01:34:06 To the improv. Y'all, y'all. All right. Later, dudes. Later, dudes. Great stuff, guys. Thank you. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:34:57 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:35:02 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:35:04 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:35:04 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:35:04 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I want to make it. Thank you. Joe, what's your plan? Last question. Last question. Last question. Last question. Last question. Thank you. Thank you.

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