Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 266 - Top War Movies Of All Time
Episode Date: November 23, 2022What up stokers! This week Strider Wilson and Chris Parr join to draft the top war movies of all time. There's some wild shit. Check out our Netflix show, Chad and JT Go Deep.  For tour dates, hea...d to www.chadandjt.com Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code [GODEEP] at Manscaped.com. That’s 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com, and use code [GODEEP].  Visit ATHLETIC GREENS.com/ GODEEP for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's up Stokers? We have an excellent episode for you. It's a war movie draft.
It gets hot and heavy and contentious and it is... you gotta watch, okay? But first
before we dive in I want to let you guys know that we got tour dates coming up.
Next stop is Denver. We're gonna be at the Comedy Works December 1st through
3rd. Then we're gonna be at Wise Guys in salt lake city that's uh december 4th and that's uh
then we have atlanta after that so get your tickets now at chenjt.com tickets are going
fast so make sure you get on it um we also brought to you by the legends at manscape manscape thank
you so much for keeping our trims p for looking after our hogs for making sure that our dinks are looking fresh and clean because think your holiday spread is good it's time to give thanks to the
manscape performance package 4.0 is that i like to call it the perfect package for your package
and by that they mean your nutsack get 20 off and free shipping with the code go deep in manscape.com
that's 20 off with free shipping at manscape.com and use code go deep be thankful there for this holiday season for the best gift of all from manscape
your balls will thank you go deep all right let's begin the show
all right well let's
base the turkey and swipe the credit
card on my ass. What's up, Stokers
of Stoke Nation? This is Chad
Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad
JT podcast. I'm here with my compadre
Jean Thomas. What up? Boom clap, Stokers.
We're here with the
the love
Lothario, Strider Wilson.
What up, baby? just munching the mike's box and then we are here with the uh did i do emperor of everything last time yeah dude should i do the uh
the the czar of silliness, Chris Potter.
Yeah, there we go.
And we got Aaron as our judge, as always.
And dude, how are your cream levels?
You've been no fapping, right?
Yeah, I'm just waiting.
Hell yeah.
Oh, is this for November?
He meant for the draft, I think.
Yeah, I told him to get his levels up so he could effectively cream during the draft.
Okay, good call.
Why, are you not masturbating?
No, no, I didn't know if that was a thing.
Because I know there's like no shave November,
October, and then it was no nut November.
Have you guys ever done that?
No.
Actually, you know, I have, but not for the month.
I've done month, no nut.
I went six months one time without jerking it yeah six months
wow how'd you feel so unhappy
do you watch porn would you like edge no i edged like two or three times but not to porn wow
i feel like anytime i've gone over a week,
I almost immediately start having nocturnal emissions.
Wow.
You had one on an airplane one time.
Yeah.
That wasn't.
That's wild.
Yeah, I didn't.
I wasn't.
That was very startling to realize that.
But I dropped a really, really fat load in my dream and then i
woke up and i was like oh my god hilarious oh my god well that's a perfect segue guys
we're drafting war movies yeah so this is gonna be huge we have some parameters
we don't think gladiator is a war movie,
even though it has a war scene at the top.
We think it's more of like a blood sport kind of mano a mano combat movie.
And then we are including fictional wars.
Like Starship Troopers, for example.
For example.
Great movie.
Probably might get drafted.
And then other than that, it's free reign everything's on the table
there could be some bends let's get hectic all right odds are evens
one two three shoot oh it's high that's never happened one two three shoot oh fuck
four pick for jam my boner into the wall that could be a good spot
that could be sick
ow
one two three shoot
oh dude
I know I'm getting the
dude you always get it dude
I know I'm getting it
alright
rock paper scissors shoot
rock paper scissors shoot
dude he gets first
always dude
oh dude JT
number one pick
don't fuck up this first pick
dude
this is top war movie of all time.
Don't fuck it up, bro.
Dude, that's true, dude.
A lot of pressure, dude.
Chad, you did just make me nervous as fuck, dude.
I was very chill,
and then when you were talking like that,
I felt my heartbeat raise.
Dude, just realize when you do this pick,
there's a lot of other picks on the board.
Well, don't worry.
I'm not going to fuck it up.
Number one out of the gate, Tigerland.
No, I'm kidding.
Oh.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Joke, joke, joke, joke, joke, joke.
Great movie, though.
Great movie.
It's a good one.
I didn't want to mention it, but it's not canon.
All right.
With the number one pick, I am going straight down the middle.
I think this movie has the best war scenes of any movie in history.
I think it takes place in maybe the most narratively rich war of all time and the one that I think it takes place in maybe the most narratively rich war of all time.
And the one that I think most of us consider to be the most important and
seismic.
And it has a great director at the helm and a lot of straight ahead movie
stars in front of the camera.
I am going with saving private.
Damn it.
Dude.
Good pick,
bro.
I mean,
come on,
dude.
I think that was everyone's number one.
Yeah.
The first couple scenes when they take Normandy,
and me and my girlfriend were talking about this.
Dude, there's a moment when you see the guy carrying his own arm.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The creativity.
They asked him and the writer, they're like,
was that based off real like uh first person accounts
and they go nah but it could have been like it's just it's just pure creative license but it really
just adds to it you get the flamethrower scene where they torch the place and you know it's a
travel movie like they you go through different vignettes everyone in the squad is awesome
barry pepper as the religious sniper eddie burns as the handsome, cool New Yorker. Tom
Sizemore as the psychopath wild man. You need one in every squad. And then he got the ultimate
pussy in movie history, Corporal Dunham. Up him, sorry. One time we did a senior prank. I wasn't
even, I'm such a loser. I had already been kicked out of this high school for two years, but I
wanted to help the guys with the senior prank.
And we went to the school to like dig a hole
that had our graduating year in it.
I remember half the guys got scared
and Strider started calling the most scared guy up on.
It became like a go-to when someone, you know,
didn't have gonads in a crucial situation.
And then he got Matt Damon at the end.
And it's got's it's it's
got huge scale you feel like you're really seeing the war but then it's still intensely intimate and
it has that kind of spielberg uh morality in it where it's very straightforward and it's just
about being a good guy as two on the nose where the one guy's like was i a good man to his wife
oh yeah someone made a good point point. I always do this,
but I'll talk down to my own pick.
Matt Damon shouldn't have been the narrator of that movie.
Because he gives it away.
And because he wasn't there for all of it.
Yeah, exactly.
Makes no sense.
So it should have been Eddie Burns' character at the end
talking to the tombstone.
But that being said,
I think it's the best war movie of all time.
And yeah, I love it.
It's so badass.
I mean, it's a great pick. The action sequence. Dude, it's just... I watch it once the best war movie of all time. And yeah, I love it. It's so badass. I mean, it's a great pick, dude.
The action sequence, dude, it's just,
I watch it once a year, dude.
Yeah, I mean, that first scene, you can't beat it.
The first scene alone is unreal.
And what about the guy holding his guts?
Dude.
Oh, yeah.
Mommy!
Mama!
Dude.
So nice.
So many good actors.
It's so good.
Dude, the sound mixing, dude. Like, all of it's so good. Oh sound mixing dude like all of it's so oh yeah yeah the
bullets fly yeah the one fight where their guns jam he just takes his helmet off and just whips
it out yeah yeah and then just and then he ends up shooting the guy but the guy shoots him and
you see everybody's like and he literally just goes ah damn it and he's like seems like he got
like pricked by something but he said he's just he seems more frustrating even though he ends up kicking the bucket tom hanks just the epitome of decency
it's a school teacher in it yeah and that's like the whole thing everybody has bets on what he did
before the war his hand always shakes so it's like he's not but he's so competent at every turn
he's always very decisive he does he does make mistakes um which is a really good
part of the movie but like then when they drop that where he's like i'm a school teacher like
that's and you're like wow this is just he's just it's just like tom hanks like you're playing an
ordinary guy thrust into an extraordinary situation which is like the most classic tom hanks
like kind of role and he just crushes it and he's not like he's you would think of like
Sly Stallone or like Mel Gibson in a war movie but then you know having Tom Hanks as a kind of
hero it makes it more of an everyman thing yeah which that war you know there's a lot of normal
dudes who went over there and did the deed exactly the cameos in it paul giamatti ted dance and obviously matt damon vin diesel
diesel gets iced pretty early spoiler but it's there's rumors that vin diesel was giving
spielberg directing advice in between takes that's amazing dude for uh first movie where i saw the
sniper get the other sniper with a bullet through the scope oh that's huge which like now you see it like uh
i feel like dude how much do you have every four years i was gonna if i could only take one guy
from the movie and i had a real army unit that i had to take into into battle i would take barry
pepper from that squad bro so he was ice cold he's also a lefty but all the guns are for righties so
he has to go over to do the, and he's so efficient at it.
And I was just like,
I just thought that was such a,
it's like Jimi Hendrix was playing backwards on the guitar.
Yeah.
He's an artist up there,
dude.
Yeah.
They say like naming it Jackson.
Yeah.
I think it is Jackson.
He goes,
this is how you gloat.
Listen,
this is how you gloat.
And then he's like,
continue Jackson.
You put me anywhere at two and in between 500 yards or made off paper your pat your bag boys we're going home like dude that's a fucking great
you're just so on board dude all right who's up to chris barr baby uh i'm going braveheart
no guns though it's still cool no guns the thing is i feel like there's more guns available
war movies later right that i wanted a straight straight sword and sandal and like this one
it's got i mean the action's awesome you also have decapitations you know no one better at that than mel gibson yeah
no one i threw on one of his movies that i hadn't seen for this draft it just starts off with guys
on fire oh you hadn't seen what hacks that we are so oh yeah oh yeah the opening scene is just
panning across the battlefield and it's kind of like there is like a mama guy with his guts i just go and i remember the movie song like oh man mel mel so like he just he's the best he's the best
i think maybe action he's up there is one of the greatest like epic directors of all time
yeah because it's in like like i said there's a there's there's a ton of humor in the movie
it's very sad you have you have like kind of two romances because
it's definitely an epic it's like a very very long movie but it kicks ass yeah um where his wife
something bad happens that's what spurns him on his mission to fight the english um english
english and then any and it has one of the most famous i'm william wallace yeah it has one of the
most famous speeches like pre-battle
speeches in any movie run and you may live for a while but lying in your beds many years from now
what would you give for one chance just one chance you know what it is it's so romantic
it's a very romantic movie like you feel bigger afterwards you want to be a better person
after you watch it the bad guy long shanks they kill his lady he destroys a whole country it's yeah uh long shanks is like such a bad dude you know yeah
like when he orders them to shoot at his own man like but sir our men like it's like have the
archers fire and then he's like we'll hit our own man he's like yeah but we'll hit theirs too
every time there's like an evil higher up who sacrifices
his own men yeah it's the best way to reflect like the evils of war when it's their own side
being shitty to him um and yeah so that's my pick it's so good and it has one of those scenes like
the ultimate scene of like you know like not a like a funny like humor scene but like a war movie
humor scene where they're like doing the spears and stuff and he's like some men are longer than others and they're all like and then you're like
so intense you're like you in the theater you laugh you're like yes yes yes like you're just
so in the movie you're like good laugh if you had to take one guy from that to be in your unit
who would it be it's got to be william wall it's got to be one of the most bad guys and his sword
is huge and when he goes off on the nobleman and he swings that ball through the dudes oh yeah
the mace or whatever it's just straight ball and chain like it doesn't even have a
so also brian cox in that he's a fire first i'll teach you how to use this
or sorry oh he has the uncle then i'll teach you how to use this so points at his brain and then his arm maybe the best accent of any movie of all time bro so sick like you're talking like that for
a couple days afterwards they also stay with like historical accuracy like they probably wouldn't
have had that blue paint like that was like celtic trad from before but they're like maybe they would
have for homage but it wasn't like i'm not watching braveheart for dude it's yeah it's yeah it's
got a different kind of truth to it right it's also like william wallace uh had sex with the
queen like the future queen and impregnated her so like i don't know if that happened i doubt it
but it was pretty good being attracted to him he is like david foster wallace said the reason he
didn't like he loved braveheart but the hard part for him was that he couldn't relate to William Wallace
because William Wallace was so perfect in that movie.
He's basically Jesus.
Like he has no-
Oh, he has no flaws.
He has no flaws.
Yeah.
That's why Robert the Bruce
is kind of the guy you relate to.
Robert the Bruce is actually Braveheart.
That's who they call Braveheart.
It's not William Wallace's character.
Well, there's another movie
if you want to make up for that with your pick.
Here we go, baby.
I won't be taking that, but-
I mean, bro, there's a lot of
fucking fire ass movies on the board don't fuck it up with some jane the virgin pick later dude
dude don't yeah chris don't fuck this up dude uh you're off to a good ass start hey thanks guys
you're gonna pick like the ghostbusters female reboot sergeant bilko dude it's really charming
dude fuck man you guys took my those are my one and two i mean your guys list is so fire right and female reboot. Sergeant Bilko. Dude, it's really charming.
Dude, fuck, man.
You guys took my,
those are my one and two.
I mean, your guys' list is so fire right now.
There's one that I want to snipe
on the turnaround.
He's going to blow it already.
No, no.
Baby, baby, baby.
Dude, if I blow it,
this is my list.
The stakes are high.
This is my category.
Yeah, you're the war guy, dude.
This is my category, dude.
I'm probably probably gonna go with
oh man do it it's hard i really need one to come back i have a very specific plan in mind
so don't fuck me i know what you want here i think i don't think you do i might surprise
you motherfuckers right now oh yeah i might surprise you guys what
is it though yeah you're gonna take it a while he's getting really excited
all right i'm gonna go with just some fire ass movie it's a war that usually i would go world
war ii but i'm not gonna go world war ii right now but this is an epic ass movie truly a gnarly
quest it's an adaptation which is gnarly apocalypse now damn it great
pick great pick so it's a fire ass movie dude i mean is it i rewatch it it's a psycho movie but
dude some of the best performances ever and like the tale it tells of battle like the it's a
different angle it's a take on war that's pretty insane that you don't get from other movies of
like just this insane commander in the heart of darkness.
And he becomes like this fucking rebel leader.
And this guy goes to the journey is insane.
It's much more philosophical than we went with straight ahead movies for the first two that are just like badasses in war.
Like that one is like, you know, heart of darkness.
It's yes.
This is about how people get corrupted.
And then I realized it's the inmates
who are on the asylum.
Exactly.
It's so good.
You have...
Yeah, and all the characters
are psycho on different levels.
Dude, Robert Duvall's character is insane.
He's amazing.
The famous scene of the flights of the Valkyries
with the helicopters.
And then, yeah, dude,
just some of the most insane lines in the world.
Marlon Brando.
Yeah, some of the most famous characters from war movies, for sure.
Kilgore?
That's Robert Duvall.
Right.
And I think it's probably the most infamous war movie
just because of the whole process of making it.
How long did it take to make?
Years, I think.
And he was over there just being wild as shit.
People were getting sick.
He just kept sinking more money into it. You're right you're right though too because you hear about that movie a lot when you're
a kid growing up before you see it like yeah there's a movie that parents talked about a lot
the quotes dude yeah that's too went to my buddy cameron's house and his dad got like i slept over
and he waked up in the morning he goes smelling napalm in the morning exactly victory yeah camera with the long fingers exactly bro spider hands
he said he good god but he said he was at monarch beach and he fell down on a wave like he got
tumbled yes and then he said he he coughed out his lung he like made that up he expected us to
believe his id i freaking got tombstone on a rock bodyboarding and my lung came out and the lifeguard
saw it but it was fine he put it back in and we're like we're like dude we're not
fucking idiots like you're 20 yeah exactly it's a visual fit for some of the movies we're talking
about very true but i mean look it's a gnarly movie uh you gotta respect it just for the uh
you gotta respect it just for the you know
just the scale of it and so many
good scenes so fucking insane
just truly insanity
just shows you the insanity of war
and yeah Aaron you nailed it the inmates running the asylum
it's a great pick
no misses yet guys
no misses yet
Chad you're up with two
oh I have two you got two brother
oh okay I got two I have to you got to brother okay I got to okay
okay okay I'm not up for a while shit I mean you guys took my three just got a
bone I'm just bone-dry there's no cream over here there's cream baby you got
okay there's a lot of cream yeah I, I'm just kidding. My favorite movie is still out there.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, man.
Aaron just dropped a bomb.
Aaron's been going no nut.
Aaron's been going no nut, dude.
Okay.
He's wearing khaki shorts, so we're going to see it.
I'm going to go...
First one...
Let's go Last of the Mohicans.
Nice. Great pick, dude. I it i love it love it daniel day
one of my favorite quotes that's gonna be my quote of the week but i'm just gonna drop it now
stay alive i will find you bro you know he's just uh the ultimate hero i love it dude and that's
the first time he's felt that like that guy's been out on his own, Sigma male, just living by his own code,
not worried about anyone else.
Then he meets this woman and he's like,
no, this is my job now.
Yeah, and such an interesting character,
interesting story.
It's like a perspective of the,
what is it?
French and Indian.
French Indian war that, yeah,
you don't see a lot of movies from that time period.
And the character himself is just fascinating
so and it's a roller coaster ride it's non-stop movement it's just like you get on the track and
boom and the bad guy wes studi yeah uh mogway magua mogwa his fire has been burned from the
white man's liquor monroe yeah he's just a true badass too just running through oh yeah like the score at the end there's
like no dialogue yeah oh the promenade yeah that song yeah it's so good put that to a highlight
tape of someone making plays every wrestling high school video should be to that fucking yeah
you find yourself in like a wooded area dude you just you like crouch down like him and start
running dude it's so true with the rifles and picking them up. Dude, when he's running, just grabbing rifles, yeah.
Oh my God, it's so cool.
Because he picks up somebody's rifle after he kills somebody,
shoots two dudes, and then you see him as he's sprinting by,
drops one rifle and then picks up another one.
So gnarly.
Right before the final fight.
And you know Day-Lewis put in the training for that.
He rehearsed that for me.
Oh, yeah.
He was making his own bullets and just drilling targets.
They said he tried to help build one of the houses
and all the carpenters were like,
he's fucking it up.
For real?
Dude, that's amazing, bro.
They're like, he's setting us back like a week.
He's over there with a hammer and a nail.
It's his process.
It's his process.
They're like, dude, your dad's a poet.
Relax.
You know what else I like about the you would expect
uh hawkeye to get the kill at the end on magua yeah but they give it to they give it to the
patriarch i thought that was always really cool i agree that was a nice move and he has a nice
spin move and fun yeah exactly yeah he does the he does the roll and then swings back and just
you see jack's up his elbow those guys guys are badass. Those guys are the actual Mohicans, right?
They're the real deal.
Yeah, because he's adopted.
Yes.
Long Rifle.
What are they called?
Yeah, Long Rifle, Hawkeye, all the same.
Legit names.
Yeah, exactly.
So sick.
When you're that badass, you get multiple nicknames.
That might be the sickest movie ever.
It's awesome.
Bro, that's a great pick, dude.
Okay, I'm going to go with my second one.
Thank you.
I'm going to go with my second one. I think one of the most important movies of our time whoa here we go
um schindler's list okay kind of a whack war movie though yeah here's the thing dude here's
the thing dude here's the thing bro you don't think it's a war movie i don't know if it counts
look it's a phenomenal movie but you don't get that
it's more about it's also just fun to talk trash about but here's the thing bro bro it's a fucking
fantastic movie and an important beautiful film beautiful film best villain ever oh the villain
it's so weird because like concentration camp i'm like not a war movie but a pow but if it was like
right prisoners of war like like soldiers in a camp i'd be like that's okay
but then it's just like not quite there for me so yeah you fucked up good movie though amazing
ray franz performance i'll probably have to cut all this because they're gonna be like why those
three guys pick on the other guy for picking shit yeah i mean we're in especially it's a great movie
especially post kanye i mean that's why this is a crucial pick you can't talk shit on this one it's a great
movie yeah you guys yeah do you want to redo your fantastic you're appealing to people's hearts but
what about their biceps exactly and dude here's the thing dude unforgiven's a sick movie bro
it's a fucking sick movie dude but i just don't know dude and look I'm the bender dude I want to try to bend
this for you so bad but it's but no but let's talk about why you love it dude
why do you know I mean it's so good
I mean I want to go these other badass whatever the fuck
moving forward yeah i mean with pearl harbor still on the board i think
you didn't go pearl harbor dude oh dude our boy bay all right bro here we fucking go dude
don't i'm not gonna fuck this up no no i know what you want and you're gonna get it and it's
a good list no no no don't do that but i'll. I know what you want, and you're going to get it, and it's a good list. No, no, no.
Don't do that.
But I'll tell you what I'm going to go with.
You're not going to get it.
And I might even be able to get this.
No.
You son of a bitch.
I'm going to go with Glory.
No!
No!
Damn it.
That's what I'm going to get.
No!
Oh, I thought you were going to go with something else.
That's what I wanted.
That's what I wanted.
That's what he wanted.
Come on, man.
God damn it.
Come on.
Give him hell, 54.
Didn't make Aaron cream, though, but made me cream.
I think your list is unstoppable.
Fuck.
Give him hell, 54.
Braveheart to Glory on the way back was the whole plan.
Oh, I think you wanted something different.
No.
Okay, okay, cool.
I'm in total disarray now.
I'll tell you right now.
Man, my list is fucked.
No, you just got to stick with your theme.
Keep doing pacifist movies during a war movie draft.
Dude, that's actually kind of cool. Do it. There's other ones. Yeah, there's integrity to that. That's my theme. Now you just got to stick with your you don't keep doing pacifist movies during a war movie I
Mean this there's not really I mean there are some good Civil War movies, but this is like, okay
There's no one's gonna pick Gettysburg. It's boring ass movie. No one's picking get
This is the Civil War movie, dude. It's the performances are amazing denzel washington
dude his tears i mean dude like and just what it's all about it encompasses the civil war dude
it's just fucking and the battle sequences are truly fucking unbelievable dude that on the
carolina coast when they're charging up there and they know they're marching to their death
it's unreal matthew Broderick seems cool,
even though he's, you know,
he's the one who got the movie made.
Well, that's the thing.
It's almost good
because it's a movie about black dudes
and about their courage,
but they had to get it made
with a white dude at the lead.
And I like Broderick and like Ferris Bueller,
but he can't keep up
like with the heft of Morgan Freeman or Denzel.
But the movie I think is almost better for that
because it tees them up.
Like you don't
you never think about broderick when you think about that movie you think about denzel and
and freeman and isaiah washington and those guys and andre brauer andre brown i'm so sorry but
those guys are just so incredible in it did the one tier the single tier it's some of the best
acting it's amazing yeah and they also get fire monologues to a lot of the dudes yeah like denzel kind of gets a
stilted one but that's because that's his character morgan freeman gets like the more
eloquent one the more intense one but there's so many good like rah-rah moments in it even
though it's all tinged with like these people are dealing with so much racism where even on
their own side the people don't respect them,
don't care about them.
And they just want to show that they're,
they just want to carry the load.
They want to contribute and just want to be given the chance.
And it has all those rah-rah moments,
but you expect it to end in a rah-rah way with these guys.
But they literally just to have people think of them as full and whole and as like worthy they
turn themselves into like cannon fodder and just like kill themselves the last shot of the movie
they literally are and it's so like it's so brave on their side but the whole thing is just tragic
where you're like this is the most fuck thing i've ever seen but it and that's what makes it sit with
you is that it's so fucked yeah it's really yeah it's with you is that it's so yeah it's really yeah
it's a powerful movie dude it's one of my favorite movies i'm so mad i didn't know
you guys wanted that i didn't think you would go oh yeah it's like it's like as a history guy i'm
gonna miss that oh my lord yeah bro 54 is the only family i've ever had. So good, dude. It's an incredible movie.
Incredible.
That dude, it's a fucking good pick, bro.
You did not miss.
It was going to be my number one,
but I knew you two guys were sitting over there
and I was going to get it on the turnaround.
And you knew you'd lose Apocalypse Now.
You're playing smart, dude.
No doubt.
Fuck, man.
Yeah, I'm pretty fucked now.
There's a lot of chalk out there, dude.
So there's still cream in your shorts. I think I know how to make hearing great cream in your balls I'm only
trying to make some cream in the fridge yeah I'm having to do research who's up
right now I'm thinking but I'm only trying to make myself cream you know
cuz fuck you guys I could probably I did later
and there's this yes the thing is I only come there's gonna be a dip dude there's
gonna be a dip I know but I didn't want it now there's a lot of bangers you know
I'd fuck it then did I'm just gonna go for her should I just go more Mel dude
do what makes you happy I think here's what i would do you
always pick these lists that are true to you pick a list that's true to you yeah
yeah yeah i mean bro i think the thing is the thing is i think i can get some arts here ones
later so i'm just gonna go for a fucking sick movie. That's what I'll do. And I'm going to go, I'm going to do the Mel double dip
and go The Patriot.
Smart, bro.
Oh, I totally forgot about that.
You know what?
I'm glad you did that
because there's like a lot of like,
you know, classic like canon war movies,
but like you're not going to watch them
more than once.
Unless you're me, dude.
Unless you're Strider
and you have the the gravitas
to handle that gravitas i hope i get like my one later we'll get to that but like right now
i'm just gonna lock it up with another one where it's like decapitations huge moments yeah heath
ledger like the ghost chase like the bad guys cornwallis oh bro and colonel tavington are both so good
damn him you have like the bureauc he they kind of treat him like a bureaucrat even though he
also calls him like a military genius with with corn wallace um and then yeah and then just the
evil underlying colonel guy who's just like like who likes to gloat about like murdering people's
family members yeah aim small miss
small dude aim small miss small i watch you know what i like watching i like watching my mom watch
the patriot because she was like that's a man and i was like you know a guy who just lost his son
and with the axe and the throw in the head and it's got it's got somebody sprinting with an American flag Yelling no retreat, you know. Yeah. Oh, dude. I'm so like
Mel Gibson, I'm an American. I like seeing shit like that, you know, yes
Who the hell is that? It's your ghost sir. Dude, so good, bro
And then Heath Ledger crushes it.
Oh, yeah, he does.
It's a fucking, yeah.
Cute love scene with the T.
For some reason, I totally forgot about that movie.
It's one of my favorites.
I watched that one multiple times. That and Saving Private Ryan, multiple watches.
Bro, with the tomahawk throw.
Yeah, the tomahawk throws.
That movie, dude, every Fourth of July,
you should be watching that movie.
Yeah, I do.
Right now, my list is
there's a very clear
these are the good guys
and these are the bad guys
where it's like
they're very simple
and a lot of rah rah stuff which is actually
I mean big
yeah that's fucking rad
I'll get some more
you know morally
ambiguous ones later, maybe, I guess.
All right, with my number two pick, I'm going War Horse, JK.
Aw, dude.
JK doing that.
Those are your picks, bro.
No, no, no.
Don't make me live with War Horse.
What if the main character of a movie was a horse?
It's like, I don't know, man.
It feels a little tough.
That was so obviously a joke. We will not will not count it definitely was not your pick but he's right i gotta stop doing it tom hilton's eyes in that movie dude it's tough man you know
i think
now you think you dude is
i think
fuck man i might no i can't do that
no i almost picked a movie i haven't seen all the way through
hey you could do it just to get the dub just to fortify my list hey you can use what's up
whoa watch me cream in your face
chad doesn't finish these movies because you gotta go surf dude yeah i got stuff to do
finish this later dude i'm busy at work baby you already know all this shit
fuck man that's a good one. I know. Yeah, I might.
Oh.
Fuck, guys.
I'm so sorry.
This is really tough.
I have two picks, too.
If only the postman could count.
It's a good movie.
It's a good-ass fucking movie.
All right.
I'm going to go with.
Yeah, you know what? I'm going to pick one I haven't seen.
Oh, it's. Thin Red Line. Dude, let's go one i haven't seen oh it's thin red line dude let's go it's really good no not all the way through i don't know about this one making me
cream though dude i might have to talk smack on it go talk smack because i haven't seen it so you
i mean it's terrence malick so it's like let's have this super interesting battle going on over
here then fucking cut over to like a drop of water falling off of a leaf that's the thing
it's like metaphor did that's it's my favorite terence malick movie because it's like at least
there's a story it's like they're trying to take the island you know what i mean and they're
entrenched so it's like i felt like it was the best vehicle for like his deep philosophical musings
because then it's broken up instead of with more deep philosophical musings it's broken
up with like we got to take that hill and like people get shot and like somebody clears a room
by throwing a grenade into it and then you literally see a fireball come out it's great
scene with cusack woody harrelson has a great part in that dude where he freaking uh i know
spoilery yeah he guys are charging and he goes to pull a grenade and he
actually pulls the pin so then he just throws his ass into a bank and just gets blown up
so and then it's just like making being like i'm an idiot and then like no and then jim caviezel
who like is just like calms him down it's like no he saved all of us by throwing yourself into that
it's okay and then he just fucking dies like it's crazy and it's a good movie i i i watched it hungover and i was
no i don't know i always do that i watch all quiet on the western front hungover bro the new one yeah
that could be on the list oh my bad bro i liked it i don't think it's gonna make the when there's
so many when there's so many that are like have been famous for like decades it's going to make the list. When there's so many that have been famous for decades,
it's hard to pick one that came out a week ago.
There's an older one.
True, there is an older one.
But that one's not good.
I mean, it's fine.
This new one is good, though.
It's really good.
It's really well done.
Yeah.
All right.
For my next pick, thank you guys for amplifying on the film that I hadn't seen.
It's an amazing news.
It's also great Sean Penn, Jim Cummings.
I mean, the cast is insane.
I'm going to watch it tonight.
I tried to watch it this weekend,
but I didn't have three spare hours.
Nick Nolte is the commander who walks up
and he's like, everybody's standing around.
He looks at a guy shirtless.
He goes, put your blouse back on.
Yeah, dude.
His performance is good.
All right, for my next pick,
I'm going with a modern war movie. So've got uh i know it you do zero dark thirty well really yeah zero
dark thirty i did i was wondering if this one was war on terror yeah it's a really good one i thought
about uh i don't think it's like a a populist pick but like uh populist pick but i love it i think
it it captures that period of time,
I think, better than any of the films that are about that.
And then I think it doesn't skirt over
like the questionable ethics that were used
to get the mission accomplished in killing Osama bin Laden.
And what I do like about it too is that it's a lady in the lead,
and it's basically like,
this is what feminism looks like in war.
It's like, she's just as gutsy doing unethical things to get information out of terrorists.
And it's this very like, it's like this empowering thing, but it's also like empowering for what?
Like, this is actually maybe not the way we should be doing things.
But at the same time, you want us to kill Usama bin Laden.
We were like, we got to get his ass.
So whatever it takes.
It really puts you into that headspace.
And yeah, I love the realism of it.
They don't seem like they're jacking up the action too much.
It feels pretty close to how it would feel.
And yeah, it's just the detail in it, the writing.
And then it's got a cast that's like 50 deep.
It's so good.
You know, you got like Edgar Tinn in like a small part.
You got Mark Strong, a small part.
Jason Clarke.
Just a bunch of killers.
So I'm going with Zero Dark Thirty.
I mean, that last scene is incredible.
When they go in the house.
The seals?
Oh my God.
It is awesome.
That last scene with the fucking quiet helicopters.
Yeah.
And that was kind of, was that really kind of the first movie that sort of outshowed
the Navy SEALs, sort of like that SEAL Team 6 kind of style?
I mean, I know there's like Tears of the Sun or whatever, but like where they're like night
vision and like the accuracy of how they execute a mission and stuff.
It definitely was like these
guys are legit yeah there's been other movies where they're like this is an elite squadron
sentence but i don't think any of them felt as real as that one it seems like it's like the
less corny version yeah kind of it was like at the start of like ushering in that where it's like
no it's going to be like it's going to feel more uh technically accurate yeah it seemed like it
birthed to like
gave birth to a lot of new movies sort of about seals and stuff like oh yeah
you know it was sort of like the first of those movies where people like all
these guys are bad ass and it's I mean part of its part of its the movie and
part of this because seal team six became so famous when they killed Osama
bin Laden we just like a thing that happened and I mean how many of those
guys have like published books now they got the one guy who's always talking about it on podcast right the
guy with the he's kind of like red-haired dude I'm sure there's like a couple guys who like have
manuscripts but they never got published and yeah that's like one of like three guys that didn't get
a book deal all right it's pretty clear that pick landed like a thud um no i love them i think aaron's great aaron it's the only movie i've ever seen
alone in the theater really hey i thought it should have won best picture same i really
enjoyed it didn't she win the oscar i don't think so but she's nominated though justin's
she's good she's so good yeah chris you're back up uh i'm gonna go with uh
it's tough man it is really there's some huge war movies still on i mean the thing with war movies too it's like a lot of the best movies ever in this it's almost like there's too many picks
one yeah and i didn't want to have too many like i didn't want to have too heavy of the list
like all the best war movies are like yes yeah, it's the heaviest subject matter.
Yeah.
Stakes are through the roof.
But because I kind of got some popcorn ones,
I'm going to go,
I'm going to go with the wind that shakes the barley.
Fuck.
That's a good pick.
I mean,
for the three people who have seen it.
Yeah,
exactly.
Well,
that's why I was like a movie.
It's a Ken Loach movie.
So it's like,
um,
yeah.
IRA.
It's,
uh,
that's such a good movie.
It's like two,
two brothers who are fighting for... They're Irish.
They're fighting for independence from the English.
And then when they make a treaty with the English,
and this really happened,
a lot of people splintered
because some people were like,
all right, we need to go along with this.
And then other people who would turn into the IRAa were like no this was like capitulating to
the worst thing we finally have we finally had leverage and then we squandered it all so they
become gorillas and at the heart of the movie are two brothers who start out fighting together
and then end up on separate sides and it ends in tragedy and it's beautiful it's so sad there's a lot of great speeches where
you just see people debating the merits of what they should be doing and then you also see
countrymen fighting each other and deciding that like they're like no because you went along with
this you're now as worse as the enemy and just seeing how it rips communities apart and it's a
very that's what i was saying i wanted like some more morally
ambiguous where it's like like look at what war does and how it can just ruin lives and it's it's
something that's still it's still poignant today because these are still a lot of the same things
still people argue it's the best movie i've ever seen on what it looks like after rebellion and
then you get into governance and and then the way they like you said the speeches like when you hear people
tossing out their ideologies you're like oh this is what it must have sounded like because some
people are like more capitalists other people more communist some people are more like we got to be
totally sovereign other people are like we got to be integrated with other countries and you're like
yeah these are the problems that come up when uh after the fighting and yeah uh as chichi said
if you're one of the three who's seen the movie,
you'll know what I'm talking about.
If you haven't seen it, it's really good.
Cillian Murphy is the lead. That was a Jane the Virgin pick,
but at a much higher level.
But you haven't seen enough of Jane the Virgin.
You've finished the one with Jason Reilly.
I watched 10 minutes,
and I was like the same in the top four shows of all time.
Yeah, all time.
I mean, I don't know about that, dude.
You know what I forgot, though?
You fell in love while watching that show.
Yeah.
We take our experiences into the art, and that's a beautiful thing.
Yeah, and maybe that's like 10%.
Powerful 10%.
Yeah.
Out of 10%, dude.
Yeah, it's a great movie.
That's a movie that you think is a book.
You know what I mean? You're like, this is a fucking legit like it's higher art you feel like yeah
you feel smarter afterwards big time the wind that shakes the barley not the best i like the
title but i think i like that i think it definitely i like it a lot i think it definitely contributes
to nobody seeing it for sure it sounds like you and a couple grandpa saw that all right baby with my pick i'm
going black hawk down nice there we go it's a fire ass movie and the premise is very simple
we don't leave a man behind that's what you gotta see you know you gotta have that in a war movie
i went and saw that movie with this semi-uncle that I used to have
who was a Marine.
Semi-uncle?
He was like a family friend, but kind of like an uncle.
Yeah, no.
Well, you know.
He came out and he asked me
and my buddy that we saw it with. We were like in 8th grade.
He's like, do you know what that movie was about?
We were both like, uh, like killing.
He's like, you don't leave a man behind.
And everybody was like, whoa. And dude that movie was about? We were both like, oh, like killing. He's like, you don't leave a man behind. And I remember being like, whoa.
And dude, it's so badass.
Great cast.
Irene is a go.
Irene is, dude, the fucking helicopters and shit.
Fucking, who's it?
Tom Berringer?
Not Tom Berringer.
Tom Sizemore.
Tom Sizemore again.
Ultimate lunatic.
Just fucking driving in the Humvees, dude, cruising around.
And just a real battle.
It's a more modern warfare. so I wanted that on my list.
1993 Somalia, dude.
Fucking just so gnarly.
Eric Bana.
Bro, Bana.
And you get two badass dudes.
We got two Delta Force snipers willing to go in and hold down that crash location, too.
They fucking go in, dude.
You're going to need my Rangers on the goal line. You line you're gonna need them you got tabbington doing that yeah well yeah you got the delta guys
and you got uh the rangers and the delta guys are all the cool i mean they're the cool guys
yeah they sniper that fucking boar and make burgers did you uh you do have one negative
in this movie though and that is the lead actor, fucking Josh Hartnett, dude.
Yeah.
He's a dirt, dude.
That guy can tank a movie like Christian Slater with his energy.
He's a bit of a dud.
It's bad.
The thing about Josh Hartnett is he's hot.
Oh, he is?
And he's kind of getting...
He's a super hot guy.
He's very hot.
I just think he's a little bland.
He's good in Lucky Number 7 where he can play low energy but uh but
you know there's something very like quintessential american about him that fits in blackhawk down
real yeah it's just your average joe blow american guy who enlisted like he's relatable somehow he
tries to be the poetic about it like he's there volunteering you get that a lot of foreigners
playing americans in that movie yeah it's true helps. You don't like it, Aaron?
No.
Aaron's pissed, dude.
Except for Sam Shepard's in it, so that's cool.
He's a beast player, right?
That kind of makes up for all the Brits, Aussies, and Irish dudes playing Americans
and Sam Shepard's in it.
You got Jeremy Piven, the helicopter pilot, too.
You're like, all right.
He's got one.
Yeah, Irene.
He's the one that echoes it.
And then Sam Shepard walks out on the tarmac, and he's like, give him hell, boys. And the guy's like, he's never one irene he's the one he like he like echoes it and then sam shepherd walks out on the
tarmac and he's like give him hell boys and the guy's like he's never done that before like what
the fuck is did you guys cover orlando bloom's death oh no then he falls from the chopper he
falls from the chopper like a bitch yeah that's how it all starts yeah rpg they dodge yeah all
hell breaks loose fucking puss it's also one of those movies too where you're like you watch you're like it takes place in senegal right somalia i'm an idiot but like
i had no idea that conflict had even happened yeah no like i went into the movie and i was like we've
had a little skirmish in somalia i was like what the fuck were we doing there yeah yeah exactly
it's a great question i don't know it uh and the movie kind of makes it it is about no man left
behind but it's also kind of a commentary, it is about No Man Left Behind,
but it's also kind of a commentary on like how we're just involved in these things all the time.
And at the end of the day, while you respect the bravery of the guys who are fighting there,
you're also like, what the hell were we doing there?
And do these guys need to be dead?
I know nothing about the conflict. You're supposed to be mad at leadership.
You have that scene of like Sham Shepard walking in to like the trauma unit
where they're fixing up everybody and a bunch of blood spills on the ground and then it's like him trying to wipe it up and all
it's doing is making a bigger mess and he's like and it's like metaphor yeah that's a fucking fire
war metaphor dude you just boosted striders pick big time let's go you have no man behind on that
i got i got one more i got one more for you, baby. DVD on TV for that movie.
They're like, yeah, so if you were an actor who was playing a ranger,
you did a little mini boot camp with rangers.
And the Delta guys were like, yeah, if you were a ranger,
first day, they're like, this is how we march.
And they're doing that.
The Delta guys were like, you guys want to blow something up?
That's so good. Yeah, they're like, yeah, let the r guys like you guys want to blow something up yeah like they're
like yeah let the rangers go figure out how to march we're gonna do some fun shit dude and that's
kind of the vibe that they have and where all the where the delta guys are like super badass and
kind of like um cowboys whereas like the rangers are much more straight laced all right hell yeah
dude guys quick are we doing five?
Fuck yeah, let's go.
Of course, bro.
So Chad, you got... How many do you have so far?
I have two.
Oh, okay.
So do I do two more?
You get two more.
You get Snake.
Okay.
One day you will understand Snake.
No, I refuse to.
No, no, no.
I refuse to.
I'm branding myself
as the guy who knows nothing.
You carry nothing into battle, dude. I carry nothing out of their head. Dude, you are a blank canvas. I'm a myself as the guy who knows nothing. You carry nothing into battle, dude.
I carry nothing out of their head.
Dude, you are a blank canvas.
I'm a blank canvas.
That probably helps.
Yeah, dude.
That's why I'm going with Full Metal Jacket for my next one.
Wow.
Although, I do love this movie.
And to be honest, I only watched it for the first time recently.
But I thought it was brilliant.
Like, especially, like, it's, you know, talking about, it takes you through like especially like it's you know talking about it takes you
through the soldier's experience you know of like yes people who are you know fairly innocent guys
and then they're just turned into killing machines and um and then but it's also like funny
yeah there's like darkly comedic moments where like you have uh arlie emory is that his name the gunnery sergeant
ermy yeah dude fucking hilarious and like those are quotes i remember dude i used to prank call
people with you remember online where you could go on websites and you could like tap a button
and it'd be like a quote from him like you couldn't suck a golf ball through a garden hose
yeah i used to prank call people and just hit those lines you know yeah yeah um and then the
end too i mean it's like two movies kind of where you have like the boot camp and then them in war
in vietnam it's uh it's uh when i when i got through the whole thing i was like kind of like
this is long but then when i got to the end i was like it really like kind of stuck with me
brutal ending it might be the most nightmarish of all the war movies. Yeah. Yeah, it disturbed me when I saw it.
Watched it with a friend and his brother.
It was Ross and John Daniels only saw the first half.
So they thought it was a comedy when they left.
And then they left to go get food.
And they're like, what was that movie you guys were watching?
It was fucking hilarious.
It was like boot camp bullying.
And they're like two football guys who were like,
I guess this is hilarious.
For the longest time, I always thought it was just the boot camp
because at the end, the guy, spoiler alert,
the guy kills everyone.
Eats a bullet.
I thought that was the end of the movie
because I had never seen the full movie.
It does feel like the end in a way.
And also D'Onofrio, best...
Right.
One of the greatest weirdo actors.
Totally.
Like just perfect.
Every time it's got to be weird.
That one scene in it of the guy in the helicopter
just shooting...
Oh, dude, yeah.
Indiscriminately mowing down.
Yeah.
And then he's like,
you should do a story on me.
I got 200 kills
and it's just him just killing innocent
people and
how do you kill women and children
he goes easy you just don't lead them as much
terrible dude monster
the war machine yeah dude
that movie's dark dude
shoot a blank
cream your favorite still has
damn I was like maybe this is it um it's a hint
all right next movie is one that i love um it's more modern uh i'm just a big fan of it hurt
locker great movie yeah baby best picture didn't win best picture fuck yeah yeah director yeah
jeremy renner um a perfect role for him he's awesome he's awesome in it and it just it's
another movie that kind of takes you through how traumatic the soldier's experience is especially
in modern times when you're especially you know when like he's uh exposed to so much stimulus and
like high adrenaline stuff like diffusing a bomb and And then the cut to him in the grocery store
trying to pick out cereal.
One of the greatest shots of all time.
Yeah.
It's so depressing.
You're in the theater and you see all the cereal
and you're just like,
what the hell are we doing in modern America?
Totally.
Just consumer choice.
Yeah.
And he needs meaning.
They have a Chris Hedges quote, I think, at the beginning.
And he has a book called War is a Machine
that gives us meaning.
And that movie's all about that that it's like these guys are happier
there because there's a purpose like there's something bigger than themselves that they're
a part of totally and uh yeah he's an adrenaline junkie too although that part when they're
drinking whiskey and wrestling it makes me want to party kind of it's fun yeah and then he goes
my son he's not a pussy like i am like he calls himself a he's like the toughest man alive yeah yeah it's funny wow man yeah second catherine bigelow movie mentioned
she's a beast man like her her uvra is bangers like point break she got near dark
she got uh zero dark and uh hurt locker she really has a bunch of classics on there you do great word too uber yeah I was like
whoa yeah damn I was about to text that to myself I don't know if it's starting with a u or an a
thank you yeah I was gonna say her quiver because that's what you call your
surfboard that's cooler quiver oh it's like your quiver of arrows yeah yeah your quiver of films
but she's got some short boards in there she's
got some guns she's got some long boards oh she's got a short board in there for sure point break
so quivers only for ins for surfboards it's like when you have multiple well quiver of arrows uh
so it's like your arrows it's called a quiver but then surfers because they look I think the shape
I think that's where they got that from when we had Rob Machado on the podcast over Zoom Chad's
boards were in the background he's like what you got in your quiver there i was like this is the sickest
conversation that's amazing dude dude i still can't go whenever i think about how i want to
age it's i want to age like rob machado beautiful looking man yeah because you look at him on even
on zoom he was glowing and he's like 50. dude yeah he's what the and people are always
like the sun exposure is bad for you i'm like well I've met some surfers and they all look 19.
I know.
So I think there's other contributing factors that are more harsh.
Yeah.
So what's your list so far?
Last of the Mohicans, Schindler's List, Full Metal Jacket, Hurt Locker.
Almost perfect.
It's a freaking, yeah.
Almost great.
Okay, I'm going to go with um we're doing five so
aaron just looked at me so disappointed blow it with zero dark i'm gonna go with i'm gonna go
with uh i gotta get world war ii on my list i'm gonna go with patton nice dude best picture 1970.
have you seen it yeah absolutely seen it multiple I've seen it multiple times. I watched it alone in China.
I'm just pretty sure, too.
I want to hear more about it in China.
Didn't go out and see anything. Just watched it by myself
with my laptop. Dude, they probably knew you were watching
Patton over there, too. They were like, who's this American dude
watching Patton all the time?
It's like, I miss home.
Dude, it's fucking badass, bro.
You know, General George
S. Patton, dude. The guy that plays him, what's the actor's name? know, General George S. Patton, dude.
The guy that plays him, what's the actor's name?
Yeah.
Dude, he looks more like Patton than Patton.
He's a very interesting character.
He believes in reincarnation.
He thinks he's fighting as a Roman general.
A lot of hubris.
Yeah, a lot of hubris.
It goes all the way up to the Cold War.
It was like, and it was this sort of a romanticism of war too. He's's like this is the last war for generals after this it's going to be machines and no strategy
and he kicks the uh the um desert fox's ass in northern africa field marshal rommel which
is sick dude they do they've got great tank battles in it you don't get a good tank battle
but you got a good tank battle with wide shots
That's pretty badass
Then you got him and it's like he's competing. It's like interesting because the generals perspective it's him competing with
I forget the Montgomery the
British general to get to like
Paris first at the end
they're all marching through like Italy and and uh the germans respected patton so much that like
eisenhower used him as a decoy which hurt his ego so it's interesting to see like ego
in the middle of this and that's really the central theme of it right is and he has that
the famous scene right where he goes in there and the one soldiers doesn't want to go back out there
and patton is like so um like he can't allow cowardice to be in his own self so when he sees
it in someone else like he it's like the worst part of himself that he can't acknowledge so he
just ends up bitch slapping the guy and like but you can see him like shaking afterwards like just
having that idea of cowardice even exist is like it's it could upend everything like his whole way
of thinking about himself about the war about life totally and that was true that really happened that put him on like they kind of they say maybe he they
use him as a decoy because of that or whatever some scandal but yeah the guy had like ptsd he's
like i lost my sight probably because of trauma or whatever and he thought he was lying yeah
hysterical blindness that's a real thing like hitler had that for a while right yeah and i
could believe if you're in battle that would happen he's like but like you said so it's just badass it's got famous scenes him in front of the american flag you've
seen that in the opening football coaches used to play it for us to get us fired up
yeah the the famous line no one ever won a war dying for his country he went to war by making
the other guy die for his country great line so just badass how to get ww deuce on
there what's your list so far it is um i went apocalypse now
glory hurt locker patent blackhawk down blackhawk down yeah yeah you got a good list man yeah
just try if you could be any like specialized soldier what what would you be like helicopters
but if i was a badass if i was a badass i think i think you'd be a badass I would love to
be like a like a demolitions dude like in like a SEAL team or something like
that like I kind of the bridge and lay claymores and you hit the thing just
stay back and cover your ears boys that's cool
nickname boom boom like Danny McBride big-ass titties but probably I just be
like a tank valet be like a motor valet. Be like a motor pool.
Valet?
Yeah.
We need the tanks parked over there for the attack in the morning.
Yes, sir.
Yeah.
That's an important job.
Yeah, exactly.
Be more efficient to get out.
It's true.
You get out of the tank in a special way to preserve your body, your knees, and hips.
Are you running?
I'd go to the medical tent and be like, dude, my shoulder's sore, dude.
How's yours?
He's like, I have no shoulder, you dumbass.
Are you wearing a collared shirt that says, like,s army wear polo and cat polo in the army
now good movie dude i like that yeah oh but it's tough man and I'm kind of war is hell bro have
we been make air and cream yet or no no he looks pretty dissatisfied over there
oh I know way out there the five I know does he really does he really know no wait i don't do you
man tempted to just bend do it fuck it yeah dude that's what i did yeah i'm bending if you don't
take it i'm bending on it guys i'm interrupting this podcast let you know once again that we are
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All right, let's get back to the show.
Yeah, I guess I just lean more sword heavy. That's okay i mean bro that's pretty rad i'm a big guns guy do you are you going for
like a what type of battles do you have in yours i don't know so i have i have um braveheart oh
you have the patriot and the wind that shakes the barley you have the ultimate sword movie you got
like a terrorism like modern yeah you could really mix it up here yeah do i go cold war movie that has no action in it whatsoever
no um leave it for the honorable mentions no one's taking that fuck it dude i just sorry guys
what do you think like bridge of spies or something always baby i'm always thinking about just a legal drama i fucking love that movie so much
dude it is funny when like we've done so many war movies like we meaning like
culture that like now we're doing like war movies like like when i saw george clooney
was making monuments men oh yeah about guys during world war ii who were making sure art was protected in europe i was like could there be a more inconsequential
angle yeah but you know there's a picasso they were gonna burn and be like dude no one cares
yeah exactly um which uh yeah but yeah no one no one went i've still never seen it
when i saw the trailer i got they did never seen it when i saw the trailer i got
they did a good job when i saw the trailer i'm like fuck we gotta save this art
that's how impressionable i am i was like fuck dude this art man
um fuck this there's a lot of like i guess i should just
you know what i'll get i'll just let's get a nom one in there even though i don't watch this movie
very much but like it'll help i'll just keep rounding out the list and just go platoon yeah
i mean bro it's a great that was the thing man i was i knew it yeah dude oh that's exactly
we're going five we're going five it's a that's a great it's an incredible movie yeah tom barringer
dude the scar they decided to put on his face.
Where you're like, this guy looks so fucking evil and fucked up.
And he's like, I am.
And then casting Willem Dafoe.
As a good guy.
As a good guy.
As like the moral heart.
Like you're like, all right, there's the Green Goblin.
Like I knew he was the Green Goblin before he ever played the Green Goblin.
Peter Parker.
I was like, yeah, when they cast him, I was like, was like yeah when they cast was like a green goblin
is playing green goblin but he does such a good job of being the counterbalance and being the
heart of the like the ethical soldier it's uh it's just interesting yeah and he dies like jesus
and that's the famous he's out he's out like jesus when he gets murked and they're so bad no
bullshit that's what i was thinking when i said i knew it and charlie sheen's a badass in that movie
you got like the weird partying going on like that yeah they do a lot of opium which is tight
oh yeah it's like whoa these guys get funky and what one of the like a good war movie if it's
trying to be like depict war and its brutality like you got to have
those scenes where you're like this is the most fucked up thing i've ever seen no one should ever
do that to another human yes and it has like like the kevin dylan scenes when he's oh so dark in the
village oh my god oh my that's really tough to watch yeah that's why like the thing is that's
why it's so hard for me to pick and i was like that's why i didn't pick it because i was like we're going fine but like it's a really good
movie but like when i watch more movies it's usually because you want to feel bad there's
yeah they're super basic and like i said earlier like there's like good guys bad guys yeah yes
exactly but i guess i needed some whatever i know when i watched it i was like i think that's the only time i
it's a one and done now i've only seen it once because it was like yeah this movie is like
really fucking not fun and and the the what most people think is the greatest war movie
of all time is still on the board on most the lists i saw yeah but but but because it's such
a one and done or where you're, I don't need to revisit.
But maybe that's what makes it a good war movie.
Well, I'll get into it when I'm picking.
Keep going.
No, that was my pick.
Let's split, too.
And that's the first movie where they put the guys through.
Boot camp for training.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, that's right.
My one issue with it is, is Charlie Sheen kind of bad in it.
He's good. You know what it is when he's going crazy at the end and he's like, got like the war spirit in him. Yeah. It might be the way they shoot it.
But when he's just jumping around with his gun, he's like, ah, da da da da da da da da da da da
it just doesn't want to took you out of it. Didn't feel real. Yeah. It was a little like comical.
Yeah. I think that's just 80s
filmmaking yeah and even oliver stone and i love ollie stone this is a good movie it's a great
movie all right i got two picks um that's crazy top gun versus platoon bro top gun technically
could be on the list bro no it's not no no no it's a band though it's a band i think they're fighting
an enemy i'm actually that's like that's like the gladiator like just because there's like a battle and it doesn't mean
and there is no enemy like you don't it's like yeah innocuous on purpose the other side denies
the event like it's not even a yeah it's tough i would i think that's a a bend but maybe it's
because i'm feeling a little bendy maybe i'd go with that bend um all right i got two picks to round out my list so far i have
um i've got saving private ryan thin red line and zero dark 30. that's a good list i'm going with
um what are you snickering about what are you snickering about
what are you snickering about i'm not a bigickering about? What are you snickering about?
I'm not a big Thin Red Line fan.
I just gotta say.
Well, I do nor am I.
I'm not a Thin Red Line fan.
You guys, you guys,
it's really good.
It's really good.
It's not good.
Chris was a good job
being your brother
in the foxhole with you.
You know why I picked it?
You know why I love that movie?
You know why I picked it?
Because war movies bum me out so much
and I'm like,
that movie hasn't bummed me out yet,
but I heard it's great.
It's the biggest bummer movie of all time. will bum you out so hard watching it yeah i might never
watch it yeah don't watch it i might never watch especially when you're hung over you made my day
10 times worse exactly bro i had to go for a walk dude yes uh get an ice cream just to cancel it out
all right i'm gonna do
gonna do you know what I guys again I don't think we have I'm gonna have my list be a theme my last one was female driven I'm going GIJ no I'm kidding I'm
kidding that's a sick ass movie though it's not a warm it's not really war it's
like a training but it's a training movie okay there is a battle that I've
never seen a thing feels a wild thing feels vigo morrison yeah
yeah that's a good line but i prefer suck my dick oh that's a great line from her
yeah she's hot um
all right i'm gonna go
men of honor it's that's that's a funny one it's not war movie that movie is just like divers we
just got to make people cry um sorry guys it's gonna take me a second that's right chris i know
i know what cold war movie you were thinking of yeah it was bridge of spies oh it was yeah
hilarious that's what i'm gonna do but there's no that's a great ass
there's not a war going on you're right was a cold war so I don't know it's the cold war
it's a bend no they're worried about the bender they're worried about they're worried about
separatists getting launch codes so I guess there's like a internal conflict in a country
but there's not a fucking Chris brings up a good point but it's a sick ass all right I'm not I'm
not gonna do it I'm not gonna do that that is what i was gonna pick though
if you want to do a sub oh you're fucking right dude what's that it's yeah chris it's a conflict
not a war so well that's what i was gonna some of our movies are about battles or skirmishes yeah
but at least there's soldiers are being deployed bro
yeah well so where you went on crimson tide erin you think
that's a legit war movie there's boots on the ground in black hawk down bro well there's no
ground in crimson tide i think it counts if you're going to sub movie like i think it counts
you kind of need a sub movie there's one sitting there i know but here's the thing
it's it's like a sub genre
oh dude Don't dude. Dude. Fucking. Oh dude. I'm getting drenched bro. Oh.
Oh fuck.
Oh.
It would just be so nice to get Denzel and Gene Hackman.
Don't.
The thing is like I'm arguing so against it because I'm like.
You don't think I would have fucking done that by now?
Okay. Maybe dude.
Great Tim Curry performance dude.
Down Periscope.
That's the one that I love.
Dude.
Harlan Williams.
I love Harlan Williams dude. He's the best. Oh dude. He's great in that I love. Dude, Harlan Williams. I love Harlan Williams, dude.
He's great in that movie.
What about documentary?
I know what you want.
I know what you want.
You can't ask these questions.
Just make your pick.
I think it's a good pick, dude.
Honestly, dude, it's one of the best movies ever.
But it's a documentary.
It's great.
My list is fucked.
You're also going heavy on war on terror this is defining more
of my lifetime um good point all right and then with my fifth pick yeah you know what I'm just
going I think it's really hard there's the I think it's francois truffaut he said it's impossible
to make an anti-war movie because every movie you make about war uh unintentionally glorifies
yeah it works that way with most things it's hard to make an anti-drug dealing movie because every
time you watch like new jack city or blow you're like this shit looks fucking cool first act of
blow rips dude like there's just something if you put together a montage of guys fighting and you
put music behind it you can be telling us through our intellectual brain that war is bad but deep
down we're we're primal creatures and all we're getting is is adrenaline and juice and and we're
just thinking about the virtues of it the courage and the and the strength and all that stuff but i
think this is the closest to an anti-war movie that I've seen, and that's Paths of Glory by Stanley Kubrick.
And I think Kubrick comes the closest,
because I also think Full Metal Jacket
almost makes you feel like an anti-war movie.
But you watch Paths of Glory,
and you never see the other side that they're fighting.
It's all the own side fucking over their own men.
And the story is basically that this colonel wants to get a promotion,
so they kind of, uh...
And they promise him a promotion if he'll take this hill
that I don't even think they really need strategically,
but it would play well for the optics of, like, the news
and the other politicians.
So he, against his better judgment, sends these guys in to die.
Guys realize there's no point to this, so they pull back.
These are courageous men, but they just decide in the moment, like, hey, it's not worth it. We're all just gonna get fucking killed.
And then the colonel feels so mo- so much embarrassment over it
that he decides, all right, well, we have to kill a bunch of our own guys
to send a message that cowardice won't be accepted.
And then Kirk Douglas plays the hero, who, kind of in legal style,
ends up defending them in, like, a tribunal.
And he's basically like, you can't kill these guys.
Like, these guys are heroes. And he's basically like, you can't kill these guys.
Like these guys are heroes.
And he's trying through all of his wiliness and honor
to try to find a way to keep them from being killed.
But you know, they're fucked from the jump.
And that like the machine of war
and how people can capitalize on that is going to win out.
So to me, that's the closest to an anti-war movie I've ever seen.
So I'm going to go, I'm going to go Paths of War.
Paths of Glory. I've never seen it.
I heard it's amazing.
I've never seen it either, yeah.
I watched it two nights ago.
You should watch, dude.
I know.
You watched it two nights ago?
Like in prep?
In prep.
Wow.
Is it Vietnam?
So there's a little bit of a recent surprise.
No, it's World War I.
Okay, yep.
Oh, so I got a World War I in there too.
Let's go.
World War I movies are brutal.
Those are good anti-war movies.
They said that was the war to end all wars.
Yeah, one just came to mind. I was like, oh, fuck house and that was the one where like technology outstripped like what we
knew about war the most up until that point right so like when you listen like hardcore history on
it it's basically yeah it's just fodder it's just like we're gonna send a million guys in to die
and that'll wear the that'll wear them the fuck out and then at the end of it it'll just be a
pyrrhic victory we'll just have a couple more guys in them, so we'll be the champs. That's brutal.
But at the start, he talks about people still thought,
like, no, you charge and you win battles by riling up your men
and you charge and you take the spot that you need to.
It's like, but everyone had machine guns now.
So charging it didn't do anything.
If you just die.
Dude, so true.
And then on Restrepo,
Restrepo is just a documentary
about an outpost in Afghanistan.
And it's very intimate.
Like Sebastian Younger,
and I forget the other dude
who passed away, he's a journalist.
They're like totally embedded with these troops.
And you watch them go into conflict
in the documentary.
And the guys are all,
you're rooting for all of them.
They seem like really good, well-intentioned like just brave americans and uh but then you also see again the
higher-ups just there's a scene where they're negotiating with the locals about what the deal
is going to be and the locals are like hey the last colonel like killed all of our goats and
fucked us over on a deal and like left us exposed to like the taliban and the colonel just hears
that he goes well that was that guy's fucking bullshit i'm the new guy i don't inherit
any of that and you're like dude i don't think that's how it works bro yeah exactly just like
reset yeah oh i don't know i mean one of the filmmakers died in like an active uh like conflict
a couple years later yeah where he was just doing journalism i mean it's such a good movie i feel
like i just saw a movie called the outpost that was on netflix where it's like dude yeah i saw that where it's like a
scripted version of like exactly what restrepo is but it's just not as good because like you just
you always get better sound bites from like the the little like the little moments you get from
just like talking to all these guys who live in every day and then like when um and it's named
restrepo for one of their comrades who dies and like that's
where it takes on the name and just here it's just so it's so intense and you get such little
moments from them um yeah it's fucking insane movie it is gnarly dude and when there's that
death too it really oh you just yeah you feel it it's really like this is so nice but probably
too much of a band chris you're a i thought about it yeah yeah yeah yeah
i don't um there's an obvious one what do you think you know which one i'm thinking
whole mountain no no not cold not cold mountain horrendous what i don't know it's a great movie
yeah i love that dude i saw that movie like my dad he's so funny like has his home theater we
saw that in theaters like around the holidays we walked out of the movies he goes this is why i
don't go to the movies anymore hilarious he didn't like it he hated it oh it's such a good movie
it's the odyssey basically yeah yeah it just, you don't really feel the civil war.
You don't feel it.
No,
no.
It's just like,
shit's fucked up.
Shit's fucked up.
There are some fucking gnarly.
Renee Zellberg is tremendous.
Charlie Hunnam is the albino guy.
Um,
the song,
you know,
the song,
you know,
I love that.
Apple tree.
Yeah.
What is it?
What is the song?
Dude,
I wish I was,
there it is.
My baby was born. and the bad guy cries
listening to music come on he knows what he has that's good movie making yeah it's a really good
movie it's so good that scene is amazing is that jack black too ray winston oh uh who's in that in
that movie ethan suplee jack black is yeah or uh jack white jack white jack white that yeah
black is yeah or uh jack white jack white jack white that yeah um i don't really
do you want me to help you yeah kind of there's one if you say but it's bad i'm against it what
three three words no oh oh i know what it is yeah no no no no no fair enough i mean i can't i mean is this cheating is this collusion what's going on here sorry you gotta call it out quicker that's true
it's not a foul unless the referee calls i met it at the bar chips met it at the margin
dude yeah um all right maybe you saw well then so should i not pick that one because i was you
can pick it you can pick it but the judge will note it yeah we're gonna get roasted in the comments for being pieces of
shit well then okay well then maybe i won't do that yeah then you know what i'm just gonna go
with a movie that um i fucking love i've seen it a gajillion times i think it's a b but it kicks so much ass that
like i don't think it's like i think there are better movies to be had but i'm going troy yeah
bro it's a great movie dude i mean it's no is it a good movie no but is it badass is it yeah
and it's just so fun first fictional war yeah injected into the convo uh no trojan war happened there's like evidence
of the trojan war that went down oh yeah i mean did it happen like that oh you want a troy yeah
fuck yeah yeah chad was taking a nap oh yeah i thought no one was gonna go for troy i was like
man dude i don't know man i was thinking either that or Mulan. Oh! That's a good pick.
Wow, dude.
Dude, that would have been sick.
Oh, I thought I was going to get roasted for that one.
No, that's pretty good.
Now I know my pick.
You would like a specific moment of like,
but I don't know.
I mean, you could change her name to Jane.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah. That would have been very in keeping.
Yeah, Troy. I mean, probably it's the sickest fucking sword fights ever dude the choreography on the sword fights is insane
and then uh like even like the stiff acting i like in it like when brad pitt's like you sack
of wine like it's like you know it's that's kind of stupid but i love it uh there is something
about that movie where they were trying so hard.
Yeah, exactly.
Every scene, they're like, this is going to be epic.
Like that same scene, Brian Cox being like,
maybe I'll give her a bath, and who knows?
Who knows what it is. And it's like, you're doing great.
It's on the cornier side, which I think is fun.
And then, yeah, you get a lot of people getting stabbed and spears
and all that cool shit.
I thought you were a dumb brute.
I could have forgiven a dumb brute.
Yeah, dude, Rose Byrne with curly hair.
Dude, yeah.
Dude, what's her face?
What's her name?
Daniel?
Diane Kruger.
Diane Kruger's ass?
Yeah, it's Helen.
Amazing. Enough to launch a thousand ships another another Oh bloom
Yeah, a big person that one. Yeah
He's like doing his own dad is like die
Fight him son fight
Peter O'Toole a gajillion years. Oh, they said it was tough. That was like a beleaguered shoot They were in Mexico. I think in like 110 degree combo and they were saying like yeah walking Peter O'Toole, a gajillion years old. Oh, dude. They said it was tough. That was like a beleaguered shoot.
They were in Mexico, I think, in like 110 degree heat.
And they were saying like walking Peter O'Toole out there to do his thing.
Yeah, he's like, I'm English.
I'm not used to this.
Yeah, what the fuck is this?
Dude, I rewatched the Hector versus Achilles fight a lot.
And when they stormed the beach.
I mean, those are so rewatchable.
We are lions.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
And the way they speed up Brad Pitt's moves,
like when he is hucking spears and stuff like that.
And bro, his little jump spin move that he does to take,
that's such a sick ass move.
Boagrius!
Oh, that part's pretty sick.
One thing about that, I woulda,
they go with the, like a very superficial sword cut
to suggest how accurate he is. I would have liked to have with the, like a very superficial sword cut to suggest how accurate
he is.
Yeah.
I would have liked to have seen that sword go all the way into Boagrius' body.
I agree.
I would have liked that more.
A little more carnage on it.
Right.
It's a little too clean for me.
It's PG-13, you know what I mean?
Oh, that's what it is.
Yeah.
It is a little too, the battles are a little too PG-13 for me.
They just kind of, they don't, but you know, I got Braveheart on the list.
And that gives me all the gore.
Covered on carnage forever.
And then I double down with the Patriot where it's, you know, he's hacking a guy up and
he's covered in blood.
Yeah.
You could do an all-in-all list.
When I was in middle school.
I thought about it.
When I was in middle school and Troy came out, I remember the first scene where the
kid comes to get him.
Yeah.
And he's in there and it's just like a bunch of chicks
I'm like of course dude he just bones all the time
that's why he's late to the battle
he must be so tired well not in Achilles
but I'd be exhausted
get off me I need to go fight
I gotta save my jizz
a lot of good bear ass shots
you get a good Brad Pitt bear ass shot
and then you get a good Diane Kruger bear ass
I like when Brad Pitt's body is covered in like like charcoal or something yeah you know he's got
like uh I don't know where he got the like the black stains from but you're like yes it's hot
oh right it's kind of like a mechanic and then he just dumps the water on himself and you're like
you know yeah get wetter yeah yeah that's Orlando Bloom pearls from the sea of Papantus.
Everyone's eyes in that movie are just boom, popping, dude.
Yeah.
All right, bro.
I'm going for a bend right now, dude.
This is our fifth pick, right?
Yeah.
Look, I got a fastball I could throw in the middle and just hit it nice.
But would I really be the bender if I don't try to bend right
now? No, man.
I'm going with the
Last Samurai. Dude, no.
I don't even think that's a bend. It's modernization
in Japan. I don't know the exact
name of the war, but it is a warrior
going over to inform
another warrior of how to fight. And it's all about the
warrior's code. And here's the thing, dude.
You got two Ed Zwick movies now.
And Zwick's...
He's a beast.
He's a beast, bro.
He's a beast.
And I shall miss our conversations.
Fireline, I mean, it's all about...
It's once again talking about strategy,
not catching up to technology, the gap.
And yeah, that was a thing.
It's based in an actual...
I think for my...
I would never pick a sci-fi movie. We talked about Sgt. Troopers, but the a thing that that was it's based in an actual I think for my I would never pick a sci-fi movie
like we talked about Star Trek troopers, but like the actual stakes of that battle and
It's the old
Code dying out to the new mm-hmm
I mean, it's uh, it's fucking so many good things and dude
It really makes you care about the samurai way of life like when you come out of that movie
You're like they're doing it right
we're totally fucked up over here like it do you believe it would have righted his soul
and even when the the wantonabi's kid gets his ponytail cut off oh and they cut to the close-up
of him i know that must have affected you a lot um when when they cut his ponytail off i was like
those bastards like i felt it yeah yeah it's coming out of like i forget what they call the
war against the native americans in the u.s but It's coming out of like, I forget what they call the war
against the Native Americans in the US,
but it is like a 20 year period.
Maybe they just call it like the Western front
or something.
I don't know,
but it's coming out of that war
and then doing the same thing over in Japan.
And now he's on the other side.
It's pretty great that way too.
And then Cruz is good.
And dude, it's funny.
It's got funny beats in it.
Yeah.
The Bob stuff.
The Bob stuff's great.
And then Bob dies for him. I've been in time. Boom, dude. and dude it's funny it's got funny beats in it yeah yeah bob stuff the bob stuff's great and then
bob dies for him i've been in time boom dude right through his chest and the badass samurai guy
who oh my god it's so good well the guy that yeah the guy that he first when he first draws like
dude that shit got me fired up in the battle with the guns how many bullets all the good guys take
they get hit like seven times you keep fighting if you're a samurai you can get shot by a gun like four or nine times
before you're not able to because even Bob takes one to the chest and then he
murders the guy who murdered him he's too much honor dude and then he falls
down that movie and Troy were like the two that I almost started doing fencing
because of those that would've been cool well i was like
i don't want to do fencing i wanted like a katana but i didn't know where to find that class but
it was like those two maybe got me so fired up on sword play so yeah dude yeah i know that's an
anti-aaron creme movie i know he doesn't like last samurai but aaron here's the thing dude
you're fucking wrong dude that movie rips why don't you like well we'll pass it over but dude
it's so sick that's a great pick great pick you gotta what's your list so it goes apocalypse now glory black hawk down oh damn this is pat
and then last samurai i mean dude you had a you came in as the favorite you were like a 10 point
favorite in this game home field yeah and you are protecting your house let's go dude all right it's me okay i i'm gonna
go you know i was gonna go with troy i love troy so much and i'm i feel bad uh for not going for it
because that's such a strong anyways i was trying to fuck you yeah
but you know what i'm gonna go with one that i love to watch and it's another brad pitt movie
and i've watched it so many times and i was like i gotta pay homage to to brad pitt what are you
two guessing i'm guessing you're right i'm guessing yeah we know we all know inglorious
bastards oh no legends of the fall i thought fury oh oh i jokingly said spy game because that's what i
thought at first too i was like weird uh dude i fucking love it glories bastards
yeah i love i mean a lot of people don't like it but i love how tarantino plays with history
and rewrites it i think it's a lot of fun yeah i think it's you know and it's also
i don't i mean the characters are so rich in that movie and it's
yes no it's brilliant you have uh uh christoph waltz one of the best villains of all time yeah
and uh yeah and then brad pitt's hilarious and it's so many quotes fosbender's one
the whiskey the fucking british three this is a german three triglycerlese. Dreiglese. Dreiglese. And then what's the quote?
I'll probably get chewed out.
I've been chewed out before.
I'll probably get chewed out.
And it's, I love it, dude.
That was a really strong final pick.
That's a great pick right there.
That was really strong.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
So let's kick it to, oh, we should do some honorable mentions quick.
Oh, yeah.
None of us picked Deer Hunter.
No, no.
It's just so intense, man.
The wedding seems so bad, dude.
Dude, I love that we all just shit on the greatest...
No, it's just...
We're like fucked.
Aaron's shaking his head no, too.
It's so long.
It's so intense.
Imitation game.
Yeah.
But is it a woman?
I mean, they are fighting technically that
was like i saw it once and i was like i get it right i hate to use pejoratives but it is like
what were the nerds up to and you go yeah you could do darkest hour churchill darkest hour is
good crimson tide we already mentioned but we didn't like it 300 master oh yeah oh dr strange
love yeah i was almost gonna do that 1917 yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Dr. Strangelove. Yeah. I was almost going to do that. 1917.
Yeah.
People are going to be mad we didn't pick that.
American Sniper.
Bridge Too Far.
Bridge Over River Kwai.
Dude, I tried to watch American Sniper on the plane when we were flying to Nashville,
and I thought it was real, like, corny, corny.
Yeah.
It is.
Oh, American Sniper?
Mm-hmm.
It also had the fake baby, dude.
Dude, it's kind of-
Fake baby fucked with me so much.
It is.
I think Seth Rogen had a tweet about it. Like, he- It's like, it is the movie from Inglourious Bastards. Like it's kind of baby fucked with me so much i think seth rogan had a tweet about like he it's like it is the movie from inglorious bastards like it kind of right
yeah it's it it's just a like he the way he plays the character is just like uh oh you know i don't
know much but you know i like you and i'm you know i gotta protect people when they're in trouble
it's a little too like uh i know simple uh tropic thunder the greatest war movie never made i thought someone
would pick it i thought so that was a bad it's tough yeah my second pick kind of threw me off
i was like damn i think yeah once you had schindler's you had your pivot movie yeah right
yeah once you fucked up with schindler's you had to do some other stuff
uh the two david lean ones which are both really good. Bridge on the River,
Quiet,
POW drama.
But then Lawrence of Arabia,
dude,
that movie.
Yeah,
that's all time.
That's like the big one,
Well,
Casablanca too.
Yeah,
Casablanca.
Oh yeah,
that's a good one.
U571,
the sub movie.
Yeah,
dude.
And Das Boot,
is like the original.
I've never seen Das Boot.
It's good.
Dude,
Tigerland's a dope movie.
Tigerland is really good.
And Colin Farrell's probably best performance.
And it's just about guys training before they go to Vietnam.
And Colin Farrell's like, I don't want to go because I hear it sucks.
So it's just him trying to not have to go.
Dunkirk?
Dude, I thought about the Mel Gibson to keep.
Oh, Dunkirk.
Oh, Dunkirk, yeah.
But you know what?
Nolan with these timelines, just give me a fucking.
He took a movie that was so just rich and good and just fucked
it up with these timelines
it does have six scenes
don't get there's fucking six scenes but
I never I got so
bummed when the kid
broke his head yeah and never
got to I know it's like I know
that's like life that like random shit happens
and there's no meaning to it and that's the meaning but I
was like I was like I just didn't have the band before.
In a World War II movie, there's so many guys who did fight.
I'm like, show the guys who did make it over there.
It like made a good point, but it bummed me out too much that it, that it like, I don't
like your movie.
And who's the main character in that?
There is no real main character.
It's like, it's like time.
Time's the main fucking character.
I didn't, I didn't, I didn't get to know any of the characters enough.
By the end of it, I was like, these are all just pieces on a board.
That's true.
It's not like some of the other war movies we talked about where you're like,
oh, dude, my heart's with this person.
It was a little bit like, I was like, yeah, that's a good actor.
The dad's the coolest character in that movie.
I thought that should have been the main thing,
was all these brave guys who were regular citizens.
Exactly.
Just show us some plain stuff.
Show us a little bit of that.
Make it about the dad.
Yeah, you got to keep the plain stuff. And that's so good what's his name the death mark he's amazing
yeah bring the spies baby you know what's been funny you know when the guys are like running
and stuff the airy styles yeah that was a little weird too like you're like you know all he has to
do though is just kind of like he just gets like mad at one point and otherwise just sit there and look handsome yeah nolan did make everyone in that
movie like all the guys on that beach should say boys he like made sure that they were like
16 to 18 or like 18 and like however yeah they looked yeah they look young
do you mean trying to take a dump in the beginning yeah uh dude can't even take it
i i came close to picking this i think three Three Kings is a really, really dope movie.
Yeah.
It's funny. It's got
good political commentary.
It's weird. You never know where it's going,
but it always stays connected
to... And then it kind of gives you an action
scene, too.
It checks a lot of boxes
and ones that you normally can't
in a war movie.
Is Lincoln a war movie?
Nah.
I was just about to ask that.
I was wondering.
I don't think so.
It's more about the man.
Yeah.
Patton is, you have battle scenes and stuff.
You have literally zero battle scenes in Lincoln.
Yeah.
Rescue Dawn.
Oh, Letters from Iwo Jima.
I just watched Letters from Iwo Jima.
It's so good.
I do like it.
It's a scene where they all ice themselves, dude.
It is gnarly.
I really like that movie
i've never seen the great escape that's a great movie steve mcqueen it's kind of hokey like those
old movies are kind of hokey but do you know it's an old movie that is good it's a pow drama and
for my money the best one the grand illusion dude this french movie it's really fucking good
it's like one of the only like really old movies
that i actually enjoyed and it has like one of the main guys in it is jewish and he has a monologue
towards the end of the movie where they like finally like they escape and a lot of it's about
like how the officers who were the officer like the the um the officers connect more with their
captive officers and they do their own men so it also talks a lot about class divides.
But eventually some people escape.
And he's like, they make it to safety.
And he just talks.
And it's like a monologue about how borders are just kind of made up.
And it's really poignant.
And one of the dudes who's part of that monologue is Jewish.
And he got killed during World War II.
Whoa.
That happened like, you know, started like a couple years
after that movie came out.
Jesus.
Strider, we're forgetting our favorite
war movie.
Midway.
Midway is sick, dude.
Dick Best.
Dick Best.
That's a real name.
He's a real guy.
I can't even remember how he did
how did he talk dude dude just like perfectly heroic like yes captain i'll go in there and
get it done for you didn't have a brooklyn accent though like weirdly maybe he's like put me in i
can't do it oh there's chris harper poor harper terrible movie bad movie but i love it tora tora
tora is a poor harper movie yeah but it's so long oh it's so long a couple empire of the sun good movie very cool movie
very different never seen it it's good tears of the sun uh spielberg again what more mel gibson
uh we were soldiers i thought you might go with that i was gonna do it but i had apocalypse now
it's better it's a better movie and we were soldiers i like it but it's you know
better movie and we were soldiers i like it but it's you know it's kind of basic hacksaw ridge um i i tried i watched that the other day in prep for this just like again hard baby i love it it's
a little it's a little too corny for me but you know what that guy was like that he was a super
religious guy you know please lord let me get another that's the opening scene where he the
opening scene where dudes are just on fire and back i was so happy when i saw it i was like thank god mel gibson's making yeah yeah it was like
i saw what like i think i saw it with joe and becca and we both all i don't know all three of
us were like oh my god of course like classic mel vince vaughn's good in that one i do yeah
you got guns of navarone or navarine is good lone avengers infinity war yeah i thought about some of
the avengers movies end game yeah star wars for me i'm like dude real battle of stakes are so is good. Lone Survivor? Avengers Infinity War? Yeah. I thought about some of the Avengers movies,
Endgame, yeah.
Star Wars?
For me, I'm like, dude,
real battle of stakes
are so much higher.
Like, why would I ever
put a fantasy list
on this list?
That's how I felt too.
They just don't have
the gravitas.
Enemy at the Gates?
Great movie with sniping.
Fucking sick movie.
Best sex scene of all time.
Oh, dude, yeah, yeah, dude.
Oh, great sex scene.
That girl got
the worst UTI of her life
after that sex.
Yes, she did. Yes, she did. I promise got the worst UTI of her life after that sex.
Yes, she did.
I promise you.
She better be quick.
But then she's like, I already had one.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
Yeah.
This means war with Reese Witherspoon and Chris Pine.
Dude, goofy one, In the Loop.
Oh, I haven't seen that.
Oh, that's a really good one.
You didn't like it.
It's a bad one.
I remember I was trying to make you see it.
It was Armando and Yuiki.
I think I remember. How you say it? I remember I was trying to make you see it. It was the Armando and Yuiki. I can't remember.
How you say it?
It was too quibby.
And Inuchi.
It's just all talky.
It's just like politicians manufacturing the war.
But it's funny.
This guy did Veep and stuff.
It's really, really funny.
Fury is a good movie.
I like it.
Fury is decent.
It's decent.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Too many of the scenes I felt like what they were going for but i didn't
think they got and like you know what had that war thing where the guys all talk i'm looking
ahead shy and john berthnal the leaders of the pack in this front of just like oh dude if you
do a voice that means you're manly where they're like some of the scenes are always like hey this
is my job my best job out of hand like hey you don't like whiskey i'm like i get it i get it
they're they're tough you're gonna let me have breakfast with these guys?
Yeah, look, I made mistakes.
You know, I don't want some bad things.
You're not letting me hook up with this girl.
I'm a bad guy.
Yeah, that movie lost me at that really weird dinner scene
that felt like it went on for an hour.
Oh, way too long.
They're like hurt that they weren't invited.
You know?
Yeah.
I'm like tom tom hall always
makes a good point that the reason logan lerman survived at the end is because he maintained his
innocence and the innocence of the german shoulder could see soldier could see that in him that he
never betrayed his like sweetness or his code towards other people and that's why he lives at
the end is that how war actually happens i don't know you better
believe it's not um there's the spartacus wipe the innocence out of them yes revolt but yeah 13 hours
dude dope movie which one's that again is that like uh oh yeah that movie's pretty sick lone
survivor great bro yeah another movie where like it's in last samurai category we're like
and it's based on real life so i need to be more careful but like the dudes take some punishment
in that movie oh like by the end of it you're like i think this guy's been shot eight times
and fallen down like three rock cliffs and he's just like and dude ben foster's quote he's like
you tell my wife that i died with my brothers and with a full fucking heart i'm like dude hell yeah
dude dude so
gnarly the other thing i like about lone survivor is that the the afghanistan tribe protects him at
the end yeah because of like a code they invoke a code yeah because of their i didn't expect that
that was nice they're good hosts yeah i like that all right should we move forward yeah should we
kick it to aaron cool a couple honorable mentions we've we didn't hit that i wanted to uh give life to a very long engagement uh it's a follow-up to amelie from
that director and with audrey toto it's a great world war one movie um it's about like losing your
fiancee in the war and then trying to locate him and it's a mystery and it's it's awesome great to
watch that with your girlfriend or your wife trust me we'll get you laid um wait what's the name of it again a very long engagement
cast romantic but it's also fun not very long very short engagement
uh you guys didn't mention valkyrie if we're talking t cruise Cruise. Oh, yeah. Solid. I mean, you know, the director's a little out there.
He's a perv.
Yeah, to say the least.
He's a sick perv.
Fictional war movie,
because you guys really didn't do
a fictional war movie
the way that I thought
it might come up.
Edge of Tomorrow.
Oh, that is a cool movie.
That is a cool movie.
Yeah, that's a good one.
It's a fictional war.
And you guys hit everything else.
Thank you.
Appreciate it. Are you guys hit everything else thank you appreciate it
are you guys
going to see
this new
World War II movie
with the guy
from Top Gun
oh Devotion
yeah
Korean War
is it Korean War
isn't that
I don't think so
it says
America's Forgotten War
it'd be hilarious
if they built
World War II
is that
there's no real
Korean War movies
the closest you get is like is it yeah oh wait
mash is mash mash was on some list yeah all right um i feel like i have a pretty solid idea of who won this one let me go backwards from four to one I think you
start I think you start off strong Chris braveheart and even the Patriot although
I think that could go later I don't know why i just felt like this
list should go like serious to to then more levity more yeah a little more yeah i don't know i
arbitrarily chose that yeah yeah but you didn't arbitrarily choose it's a good movie no i'm saying
you you're a criteria he's battling you know you guys are fighting right now yeah it's war
it should be serious right to
some degree i don't know um nice oh so the patriots not a serious movie i'm texting mel right now my
cousin saw it and my cousin is like super anti-america like not anti-america but like he's
big like we're pieces of like imperialism like we do bad things across but he saw that
movie in canada and he said when mel gibson started waving the american flag the canadians started laughing and booing
and he said he went ballistic in the theater defending it that's right dude
still it was yeah chapman hilarious um yeah i mean it's it's not like you really made a bad
pick i think i think you guys are all very close the the win the jakes de barley i just who's seen it is my only question for a three no
it'd be a great five like because it's like oh i'll check that out i'll still check it out at
three but like you're very committed to the order of things that means a lot to you because
i think yeah i think the the better movies certainly the ones, I mean, they don't have to win an Academy Award, but the ones that did should be.
Does a Palme d'Or count?
Because it won one.
It did win Cannes.
That's funny.
Cannes.
No, I like that.
I like that.
It won Caney's.
It did win Caney's.
Before I made my decisions.
And then you obviously hit my cream mine platoon at four.
I should, let me do your list again.
Braveheart, Patriot, the Win the Chicks, the Barley,
platoon, Troy.
Troy is a great five pick.
Nothing wrong with that, but I still think,
I still think there are better lists out here.
My two and three are a little closer than i thought just say it dude i don't see that's the thing they will quibble with you about schindler's
list and that's fine yeah but the rest of your list is fucking amazing yeah no his list was
strong three through five like you did not and not give up like oh i fucking lost and my beef with schindler's list is that it doesn't fire me
up yeah but not really they shouldn't fire yeah chris kicked it took place during a war it takes
place during a war for sure there's guns and unforgiven you know there's guns in the movie
the guy holds a gun that's like violent action
it's a very important movie strider dude i gotta say i agree a hundred percent it's a
beautiful movie yeah beautiful movie yeah but tragic story but yeah it's it's tough because
obviously well if i would have honored i would have done done Zero Dark Thirty, G.I. Jane, and A League of Their Own.
A League of Their Own?
Takes place during the war.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
That's so fucking funny.
You imagine you're with the boys.
Everyone's like, best war movie.
I got it.
I got it. I got it.
And then it starts.
He's like, boys, A League of Their Own.
You know what, three, aside from that being hilarious,
three, I think I gotta go JT.
For sure.
You have the greatest first pick.
Yeah, that was a slam dunk.
And for my heart, the best five pick,
The Paths of Glory is an amazing movie.
It's amazing, it's really good.
Kirk Douglas, man.
That guy's-
The Thin Red Line fucking sucks.
Well, dude, I mean,
I definitely don't deserve to win.
I picked a movie I haven't seen.
Yeah.
I mean, at that point,
I think I was...
You look at that cast, though,
you go, that should be a winner.
And I've fallen asleep twice watching that movie.
I should have just picked Platoon.
I overthought the fucking movie.
Dude, I literally think
there's a lizard that has more screen time
than, like, fucking, you know,
Robert Duvall,
whoever the fuck's in that movie.
I have seen parts. I have seen more of it.
Cusack.
I remember I had a film school teacher
when he was like, the alligator comes out of the swamp.
That is literally man evolving out of the primordial soup.
And where does that extend?
What is the next like incarnation of that?
War, death, destruction.
And then when a bomb goes off, do we see the body?
No, we see the earth carnage.
We see a tree exploding because that carnage will exist forever.
And man's blood will just keep coming again and again.
And I was like, yeah, fuck yeah.
That's my number two pick.
Then if nature matters more,
then you could have cast nobody in that movie.
Maybe it'd be better.
Right.
Look, it was a stupid pick.
But what about the rest of them that's pretty solid yeah zero dark 30 you know for for all i've said about it
it's still good like it's still good it's a little bit slow but you know it's fine that last scene
you cannot argue is amazing uh and restrepo is a great doc i don't think docs belong here because
i think there'd be a thousand more docs.
I agree with you, too.
That was a stupid pick, too.
So that's the only reason I'm saying.
Thin Red Line and Restrepo just being probably not,
shouldn't even be in this draft just because of the doc. So how the fuck did I get last?
Yeah, that's true.
You probably should have beat me.
I deserve last place.
I mean, you still have Saving Private Ryan.
Like, you didn't.
I did have Saving Private Ryan. Like, you didn't... I did have Saving Private Ryan.
You didn't go the Sean Penn route.
If you'd have gone Thin Red Line number one,
I'd be like, get the fuck out of here.
That's a good point.
It's your house.
This is good.
I actually don't know who has the better list
between these two dudes.
I think probably...
I think it's pretty clear.
I don't want to belabor the point.
We have a three-time, three-peat champion, Strider Wilson.
Strider's top of the list.
Let's go, baby.
Most wins.
I mean, look, you guys, this is my wheelhouse, baby.
I'm honored.
I had to come in here and deliver.
What was your list again?
Apocalypse Now, Glory, Blackhawk Down, Patton, Last Samurai.
And you did get
a little funky at the end there you even put a little spice in it stay true to who i am dude i
had to bend a little bit you know how to play with it a little bit um good draft guys that was a fun
one yeah that was good chad's call let me talk up chad's list last weekend's great schindler's list
is a great movie no one's denying. No one would ever deny that.
We all respect
Jewish faith.
And Liam Neeson.
Because he'll come and get us.
But then Full Metal Jacket, Hurt Locker, and Glorious Bastards.
Dude!
Glorious Bastards was still out there.
Dude, you had the best list.
Besides Schindler's.
Yeah.
Besides Schindler's List, youindler's list You had the best list
I should have picked
Troy
I think you could have
Yeah I think Troy
You win
If you go
Inglourious Bastards 2
I don't think there's any way
You lose this
Yeah
With the rest of the picks
You made
Even if you go Schindler's 5
Thank you
That's my man
But you went to your heart
I hear you talk about
Schindler's list all the time
I know
That's going to be such a
You're going to do a clip What do you love about itindler's List all the time what do you love about it I
don't know but congratulations again Strider Wilson good stuff man Strider
you're unstoppable good job that was a fun one man good call
Chad
That was a fun one, man.
Good call, Chad.
All right, you guys ready to kick off the next part?
Yes, sir.
Chad, who is your B for the week?
My B for the week is...
Dude, Xbox?
Okay, Call of Duty 2 is now out.
I was playing Warzone 2 and just getting...
I am just atrocious at it.
And dude, just getting killed nonstop.
But the thing I was excited about Warzone 2 is that they have proximity chat.
But this is just very specific, but I like to go on Twitch sometimes just for fun to stream it and stuff.
But you can't in the
stream hear the proximity chat I'm like what the fuck is the point of having proximity chat
if the stream can't hear it you know so that's just my beef Xbox you got this error going on
and you guys refuse to fix it I thought when Call of Duty came out you would fix it so that everyone can hear proximity chat. But right now, only I can hear it, which is fun,
but everyone should be able to hear it.
And I think it's a problem we need to fix right now
because proximity chat is hilarious, dude.
Dude, there's one guy I fucking dropped in.
We have pistols, you start off.
This guy and I were like pointing guns at each other. He's like, don't do it, dude. I'm like, you don guy's this guy and i were like pointing guns at
each other he's like don't do it dude i'm like you don't do it and we're just pointing guns at
each other and we had basically we're like all right we slowly backed away that's awesome but
then i you know i felt bad but i i just couldn't help it he's climbing up a ladder he's like i'm
just gonna climb up here like and i shot him in the ass and he's like deep chad i'm gonna remember you bro
dude that's real war dude that's a good beef based off the convo yeah it was really funny
but that's my beef good beef strides who's your beef dude my beef is with anything being chap, dude. Chap lips, get out.
Bro, I had chap knuckles.
Oof.
Get out, dude.
My ass was literally chap.
People say that chaps my ass.
I understand that expression now.
How did that wear on your butt?
Not even the inside of my butthole.
Like the fucking like.
Dude, watch the language, bro.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Not inside of me. I figured it would be on the bit like like oh like when you sit yeah i don't know why dude i literally think
i didn't go outside all day long just sat down all day long because it was cold as fuck in chicago
when we're there but dude i'm just a i'm just soft dude i can't be everything's chapped dude
well you're good at drafting dude thank you didn't fire but dude it's
just the worst feeling in the world did the wind being wind burnt or chapped dude or dry get out
dude did I saw you applying it to your knuckles on my that looks brutal well yeah dude exactly
it was terrible yeah Chris who's your beef of the week uh I'm I'm beefless baby that's amazing I
like that just wanted to celebrate that really try to think hard
about one but i'm chilling baby dude that's beautiful dude dude my beef of the week new
season of white lotus oh sucks it sucks the first season amazing the second season i'm like
fuck this shit it's just like it's so easy it's like oh dudes are
horny and act like pieces of shit i'm like what is this the 90s i know that like i'm like give me
an angle on it tell me something new i'm just bored stiff and annoyed and i had yeah i love
that show but fucking season two sucks yeah i mean the thing about season one is like the
characters are like annoying people but
there's something likable about them still you you're like you wanted to keep watching them with
these they're just like plain unlikable and you're like i hate all these people like there's nothing
it's like succession too it's like there's they they put they make the characters intriguing and
you want to keep watching them but with this i'm just like it's i think you relate to them more in season one and in the succession like even if you see their weakness or you see
what's driving them you're like oh do you like i don't like what this guy's doing but
yeah i can feel that with this one i'm just like fuck this dude fuck that chick i'm like
fuck these people yeah yeah um chad who's your babe of the week my babe of the week is it's the
holiday spirit i'm feeling it dude i'm feeling
jolly i'm feeling i had hot chocolate last night with marshmallows in it we got decorations in the
in the house we got tea given coming up uh you know you know i'm gonna stuff that turkey down
my throat and put stuffing in there and eat that and just like put cranberry sauce on my mood baby because i'm feeling good i love that
that's fire that's beautiful dude strats he's your baby of the week dude my baby louise got
to be my freaking dank ass fiance dude we were just posted up dude she told me exactly what
bomb to get to put on my chapped knuckles dude aqua four what up dude shout out to aqua four
dude good looking out good dude so just her having my back on that dude being from from the freaking midwest just knowing what's up and then also dude
when she just shows up i'll just post it up i didn't want to go outside dude she showed up with
portillo's dude wow and she knows my order dude when she i when she had my order memorized at
portillo's i almost proposed again dude she's thinking about
you bro tiny beef spicy gardener fries cheese that's right chris who's your baby uh my baby
of the week is my wife dude yesterday was our one year anniversary dude congrats freaking uh
being married a lot of people thought you guys weren't gonna make it dude
uh so far so good love you babe had a great day and uh yeah fucking love you dude your wedding
was a rager dude that was a fun fucking night it was a rager dude yeah that was fun that was
fucking rad dude dude my uh babe of the week is the guy who sat next to me on my flight to Nashville.
We didn't say a word to each other.
But when we landed in Nashville, people were slow getting off the plane.
And he snapped.
Really?
He was so goddamn funny.
He just starts going, what the fuck are these people doing?
He's like, they're taking forever.
Like, do you want to fucking stay on the plane?
Like, at this volume. Dude, I'm dying. And he looks at me. He's like, what? Like, what? I'm you want to fucking stay on the plane? Like at this volume, dude, I'm dying.
And he looks at me, he's like, like what?
Like what?
I'm like, no, dude, I love it.
Keep going.
He goes, it doesn't make any fucking sense.
It's fucking awful.
It's fucking stupid.
And I was like, hell yeah, dude.
And then, um, he kicked me into gear so hard.
I left the plane without, I left my jacket.
And when I saw him outside of the terminal i was like bro
you had me so like fired up to get off the plane i fucking left my shit and he was like fuck yeah
man fuck yeah and i was like this guy's cool dude that's hilarious um chad who's your legend of the
week uh my legend of the week is bob eiger coming in i knew he's coming he's coming in to save disney from bob chappack that you woke ass bitch um
fucking raising prices ticket price dude you raise you you keep saying that you're like you're
like he's so woke he raised prices that's woke to me bro yeah exactly like like eiger's a huge lip
i don't know it's just the only thing i what can i call him i don't
know you stingy fuck um but yeah dude bob chappick bon voyage dude uh go work for fucking kellogg's
because we don't want to see you anywhere near these parks okay bob agger's gonna come and he's
gonna lower ticket prices because they kept raising ticket prices but then the quality and the part of the experience I
haven't been and you know since last spring but apparently it's just
everything's declining but they're raising prices I'm like dude and I heard
you had to pay twice like it was 200 bucks for the general admission ticket
which is outrageous but then you had to pay an extra like 20 bucks if you wanted
to ride the rides everyone wants to ride yeah and then dude yeah the fast pass thing kind of made it dude you want to have a good day at like disney for like
two people maybe like and a kid it's like a thousand bucks for the day that's insane it's
insane you're waiting in lines and shit yeah and then you have to the fact you have to pay more for
it's just like but people like perceive eiger is like pitching a perfect game the first time he was
there like he revamped the company got marvel he got star wars he got pixar like he fucking
beasted and i'm like should he leave well enough alone or do you think he's gonna do you think
he's gonna crush but i i think he's the savior i mean i had some beef with how much he put marvel
in there because i just feel like marvel and disney be separate. I agree. But I think, I don't know.
I think he's just like a level-headed dude.
You know, he came back in during COVID because he retired
and then COVID happened and Bob Chapek's like, I'll do it.
And then he's like, nah, dude.
And I think he did a pretty good job during COVID.
I don't really remember.
It would be pretty incredible if he beasts again.
Yeah.
I really like that guy.
I think he's a beast. I have a theory. Yeah.g's bald eiger's got a full head of hair eiger's good looking i can see i can see that swaying you you know yeah because you do you
have good hair you love hair dude yeah i'm like i'm like this guy well chat back i'll tell you
this it doesn't look like the happiest man alive and if you're at the helm of disney you got to be a jolly dude right you know
bob eiger's up at 5 00 a.m on the ski machine just he's yeah exactly he's working out it's
that classic thing too where he picked chapik as his successor yeah it's a little bit like teddy
and taft where it's like you pick your successor but you're almost like did you pick the best
possible successor did you you pick someone that you kind of... Felt superior to?
Like, do you do a better job?
Yeah, and I don't think he actually knew that.
I don't think he's like an...
I don't think these guys are ill-intentioned,
but I think like on some level,
the successor is never going to live up
to their expectations
because they just expect them
to do exactly what they did.
Right.
Who knows?
Yeah.
So, Bob, thanks for coming back, dude.
Let's go.
Strides, who's your legend of the week
dude my legend of the week's got to be our boy Joe P and his dank ass wife Brittany did let's go
um they had a banger wedding out in the desert dude they gave me the honor of officiating
these two guys right here were groomsmen dude just absolute fire dude I mean it was a bang
and dude honestly all the boys just bring it on the dance floor dude
at their after party that was prom themed what a genius call dude it was just dude child i'm
telling you right now dude it was banger after bang like you wanted to take a break dude you
couldn't take a break dude your boys just had to order shots dude just like you had to rip it dude
just get back out on the dance floor immediately dude that dj was smart too because he'd play some mosh songs and it'd get too rowdy and then he would he'd play
like mia paper planes and like just bring us all back down to earth yeah he was truly in control of
us yeah good job yeah yeah took back in an hour he said all right i'm gonna bounce and then like
an hour later she's like it's just too many good songs and rush i can't leave on this one and
finally you know it was the wrong
emo song and she's like right i'm out and dude not to be a pig but one of the boys got laid
yes they did yeah
dude that was such a fire time this is awesome when laffy taffy came on bro shake that left
foot that's one of the
best songs to freak dance it's such a good freak dance song it was funny
deliver all of our significant others were asleep so we were freaking with
each other dude dude I was doing this thing that was pretty fun you said dude
I was like dude I had a thousand-yard stare my dude I was literally just would
hug brothers on the dance when I wouldn't even dance it to come up like
we dance each other and just hug them and sit still dude we needed it we needed it chris who's your
legend of the week uh i kind of got a double legend uh our mom and the other legend is elton
john because she took us to the elton john show last night whoa that's awesome it was sick uh
show last night whoa that's awesome it was it uh my mom her bf jt his gf me and becca that was a fucking sick time obviously elton john uh million hits so super fucking fun
it's like a couple songs that i didn't know i'm like that's pretty good because you know
turns out he's really good
and he just kept,
like most of the time
in between songs
he would just get up
and go,
yeah,
yeah,
woo!
And it was just,
it was fun.
He's just a short little pudgy guy
who fucking brings it
and he could still sing
and we just had a great time.
It was an awesome
anniversary gift from mom
so thank you,
I love you.
Dude,
that's rad.
Where was the venue?
Dodger Stadium. Dodger Stadium. Whoa, a stadium venue whoa stadium guess what i was thinking about for three days before going there how the hell am i
gonna get in and out of this place very true that's exactly right stressing that's when you
know you're an adult dude we did okay we did pretty good we did pretty good how'd you do it
uber there and then my brother was parked and got got a pass and then the line was long getting out
but it wasn't too bad like 30 40 minutes to get out. I mean, that's the cost these events are disastrous like the the logistics
It's crazy. What's going on with Ticketmaster and Taylor Swift? Is this too sad? Oh, man
I guess that could have been my beef that should have been the beef
Yeah
well
it's like the same a
previous beef of mine was Olivia Rodrigo where you had to sign up for like a fan club and to get
A previous beef of mine was Olivia Rodrigo,
where you had to sign up for a fan club to get maybe a chance at... You have to sign up to then get a chance to be in a raffle
to get the option to buy tickets.
Yeah.
And it feels like such a...
And Taylor Swift was going to do the same thing.
But it turns out Ticketmaster wasn't ready.
Their servers weren't ready.
And then it's so funny because she comes out and she's like,
I asked them repeatedly,
can you handle this much track? I'm like, we got it, we got it. And they couldn't. And she's like, I asked them repeatedly, can you handle this much traffic?
I'm like, we got it, we got it.
And they couldn't.
And she's like, I'm pissed at them.
So it's so funny that she just was like, they fucked up.
I told them that the Swifties were going to be out in force
and that they needed to be ready and they weren't.
But I don't know if it's better than just clicking at a certain time
because it's like, can't bots?
If you're worried about bots, can't people just make bots of all these different accounts?
And for Olivia Rodrigo,
four of us did it and none of us got it.
And it was like,
it felt like in even more of a black box.
Isn't the bots like these third party,
like is vivid seats,
like buying them all and then selling them.
Or,
or I,
I don't know.
Maybe they are,
but also like people could just do it and then just post them on these ones.
Like,
like, yeah. Like buy a fuckload of it and then just post them on these ones. Yeah, like buy a fuckload of them
and then put 300 tickets on StubHub.
They got to prevent that shit from happening.
I don't know how you do it, but that's crazy.
Do Taylor Swift and Beyonce...
Look, I'm going to really step in here.
Do they have too much power?
They've got a lot of power.
The way they got these armies.
They have soldiers.
I have a friend who had to deactivate her TikTok account
because she went after Taylor Swift.
And the Swifties came out and just like, you know, scared her.
Yeah.
And I said something, I didn't even say something bad.
I said I liked Rihanna more than Beyonce.
I got some angry messages from our three female listeners.
And they had me on my heels.
I'm like, a lot of power comes a lot of responsibility.
You got to be careful how you mobilize these armies.
True. And it's like, look, it's comes a lot of responsibility. You got to be careful how you mobilize these armies. True.
And it's like, look, it's art.
It's subjective.
You know what I mean?
Like you're allowed to like whoever you want.
Yeah.
They're like, they're heroes.
Yeah.
AOC was out on Twitter being like, we got to blow up Ticketmaster.
It's just getting serious.
Get Ticketmaster out, dude.
Dude, my, my legend of the week is a, look, it's a complicated legend.
Okay.
There's aspects of this person that I did not enjoy, but it's one of the most memorable
car rides in my life.
So I have to honor it in some way.
And legend is just how we categorize these things.
But I got picked up from LAX with an Uber.
Dude, the fact that LAX makes you take a bus to the Uber pickup is humiliating.
I get into the, I get into it.
It was a yellow cab.
I get into a yellow cab.
I make a joke
about i don't know like uh some joke about stiffening them on pay but i'm clearly kidding
he gets real sensitive about it i'm like oh i'm like sorry man i was just playing around he's like
well the last guy i drove home from the airport just jumped out of the car and didn't pay me
and then he brought up the race of that guy and started being racist towards those people
i just was like in a open mood i was like hey dude you really shouldn't talk about people like that. It's like a little unfair. And I was like, you know,
I know, I know you got your reasons, but like, come on. And then we just started talking about it.
And, uh, he was really open. And basically he was this guy in his sixties from Pakistan. He's
lived in America for 30 years, two kids who went to UCI. He's very proud of him there. He's got a
wife arranged marriage works. I think arranged marriage might be better honestly i hear a lot of good stories and then um we start talking and he's like he's
like uh he's like yeah like i i got in trouble because these four young black dudes were like
punching my car and i pulled a gun on him and he's like i almost had to go to jail for that i'm like
whoa i'm like do you have a gun in the car right now he's like no i have a knife i'm not allowed
to have a gun anymore whoa and then i go why aren't you allowed to have a gun in the car right now? He's like, no, I have a knife. I'm not allowed to have a gun anymore. Whoa. And then I go, why aren't you allowed to have a gun?
And he's like, I'm like, he's like, because of that.
That's how we got into that story.
And I'm like, dude, you got to be careful, man,
because you're in these situations where, like,
you feel like you're controlling the outcome
because you got the gun, but it could escalate.
You can end up shooting someone.
He goes, I have.
What?
He's in Miami getting a medical procedure.
He's outside a bar.
Some guy accuses him of looking at his girl.
Uh, my driver...
kind of backs down, but not really, like, talks back to the guy.
Guy goes to get a crowbar. Instead of driving away,
he goes into his car, pulls out a gun,
and shoots the guy.
And then, uh... Where do you shoot him?
In the leg. And I go, were you aiming for the leg?
He goes, no, I missed. And then he laughed.
He was trying to kill the guy.
But then he tells me when he went to jail for that,
just for a day,
that the black guys looked out for him in prison
because they were Muslim and he's Muslim.
And I was like, well, oh, well, those are cool guys.
And then he was like, he's like,
nah, it's just a religious thing.
And then we keep talking and I'm like,
dude, maybe you need to get Medicaid.
He's like, yeah, that's what one guy I drive says.
Like, it could chill me out.
And he's like, I just obsess over it. Like, if I ever back down, I just obsess on it for weeks. Like, he's like, I, maybe you need to get Medicaid. He's like, yeah, that's what one guy I drive says. Like, it could chill me out. And he's like, I just obsess over it.
Like, if I ever back down, I just obsess on it for weeks.
Like, he's like, I was in line the other day, and this kid kind of punked me.
And like, I haven't been able to let it go.
Like, I should have done something back to the guy.
And I was like, and he says his kids worry about him, and they tell him to chill out,
and they don't want him to be racist.
And then I was like, well, you should tell your son you back down, because I think he
would be really proud of you for doing that.
He's like, no, I don't want to bother him.
And then I was like, no, like, like tell him that because you'll get the reinforcement
you need and then uh he dropped me off in my girlfriend's house and i was so regretful i gave
her address exactly bro so but so to be nice i was like dude give me your card i'll call you
sometime shook his hand and he showed me his knife it was a big fucking knife dude but uh
yeah just wall to wall the most dynamic cab ride i've ever been in
that's awesome that's pretty wild that's a great story it was wild
i think he was at a bar the night before his medical procedure yeah he got his liver replaced
he's pretty hilarious i go he's in his 60s i don't know how he still got this much t in him but i go
he goes you know i think maybe my friend told me when you take someone else's organ you take
on their personality he's like so maybe i got the liver from a really angry person
amazing i was like perhaps dude um yeah all right chad who's your what's your quote of the week
uh my quote of the week comes from troy let's go uh you let him go my lord it's too early in
the morning for killing princess i like that one right str lord it's too early in the morning for killing princes
i like that one great let's try to what's your quote of the week my quote okay i do yeah go
go home prince actor have some have some wine make love to your wife tomorrow we'll have our war
yeah that's great good looking out this is a quote from eleanor roosevelt
in honor of our warriors,
our warmly drafted day.
The Marines I have seen around the world
have the cleanest bodies,
the filthiest minds,
the highest morale,
and the lowest morals of any group of animals
I've ever seen.
Thank God for the United States Marine Corps.
That is fire, dude.
Get that tattooed on your ass.
That is beastly.
Chris, what's your quote of the week fuck man i was gonna do such i wanted to do something from troy but no
oh my bad yeah i had to steal that troy's got sick ass quotes dude
deep cut time um i'll do do Odysseus from it.
We use the gifts the gods give us.
You have your sword.
I have my tricks.
Yes.
Nice.
Sean Bean.
My quote of the week is from a dude
from our Nashville stand-up show
who spoke up during the Q&A.
And dude, we have the funniest,
most dynamic fans in the world.
Chad, you can correct me on this
if I botch it a little bit.
But he goes, dudes, what's up?
How do I honor my son?
He's a little stoker
and make sure he grows up to be a sick stoker.
And we're like, well, dude,
you sound like you're off to a good start.
He's like, yeah, I named him Breck after Breckenridge
because I want him to win the X Games.
Yeah, Trevor Masterson.
He's a beast dude shout out
let's go it was so cool dude dude that's amazing uh chad what's your phrase we're forgetting after
it um don't forget son you're supposed to go to the x games i don't know i got bombed though
let's see dude what's the sick ass maybe maybe just
i shall miss our conversations the way he inflects on those words i shall miss our
conversation and the way he the way he stands up just dude so good formidable dude
i'll do one from glory uh which was said earlier, give them hell 54.
Oh, dude. Yeah, bro. When you hear that all time chills line. Yes, the greatest dude,
my phrase will be forgetting after is that I misheard this. But when we were national,
I went out to Broadway, the main drag there. It's kind of like Vegas, they call it Nash
Vegas, I guess. I was watching some bands play. And I don't think I got the lyrics right.
But what I heard from the guy was, girl, I'm so in love with you.
You got me going crazy.
I'm doing things I've never done.
I'm cuddling cats and cussing out my mama.
I'm just going to start saying that all the time.
Going crazy.
I'm cuddling cats and cussing out my mama.
All right.
All right.
Good job, guys.
Strider, congrats on the dub.
Congrats.
You're a legacy. You're a dynasty, dude. Fired up, dude. All right. Good draft, guys. Strider, congrats on the dove. Congrats, Strider.
Your legacy, your dynasty, dude.
Fired up, dude. Honored.
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