Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 283 - Convertible Cruisin'

Episode Date: March 22, 2023

Today we have a classic Chad and JT episode! We dive deep into our trip to Florida! Chad rented a dank Mustang with no top for us to cruise in! It was a rad trip. Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check us out on tour!  We've got Sacramento, San Francisco, Portland, and Raleigh up next!www.chadandjt.com Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/  Episode sponsored by: ATHLETIC GREENS: If you’re looking for an easier way to take supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1-year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com/GODEEP.  KIVA CONFECTIONS: Californians, you can get 30% off your first order, delivered straight to your door. Go to kivaconfections.com/godeep and use code GODEEP.

What's up Stokers? We have an epic classic episode for you. Make sure you watch and check it out. And keep spreading the good word of Stoke. Before we begin, I want to remind you that we are on tour. We are going to Sacramento, San Francisco, and Portland next. And after that, we are going... The Raleigh shows are being rescheduled. Then we're going to Arlington.

And then, I believe we're going to like Oklahoma, Ohio. So keep your eyes peeled Chen JT calm for tickets come out to show it's always a good time and we know that you will laugh we also brought to you by legends at Kiva confections guys super stoked on this sponsor this is the most dope, epic cannabis edibles. These are the best edibles you will find on the market. I don't really smoke weed, but when I do, I use these edibles because I'm very specific about what I want, the high I want. And Kiva Confections is legit.

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It gives me all my nutrition, my prebiotics, my probiotics, my every kind of iotic. And it's all in one. You just put it in your drink. Boom. You're feeling good. If you're looking for an easier way to take your supplements, Athletic Greens is giving you a free one-year supply of vitamin D

and five free travel packs with your first purchase. Go to athleticgreens.com. That's athleticgreens.com. Check it out. All right. Oh, also check out the reddit reddit chad goes deep reddit good good conversations on there and enjoy the show Chad and JT Oh yeah Alright let's swizzle the stick and put it in my pee hole What's up Stokers of Stoked Nation This is Chad Kroger with the Going Deep with Chad and JT podcast

I'm here with my compadre Jean Thomas What up? Boom clap Stokers And we are here live in Stude with Aaron on the sticks What up? What up, Aaron? And we're cruising. What made you come up with a stick in your pee hole?

Honestly, it's a Deuce Bigelow reference. I believe Norm MacDonald is playing the bartender. And I forget there's some kind of conflict. Oh, he wasn't going to pay his bill or something like that. Oh, he forgot his wallet. That's what it is. And he's like, you know, if you don't pay it, this whistle stick, I'm going to put it right in your pee hole. Dude, I saw Deuce Bigelow in fifth grade.

Me and my brother snuck into it. And I remember leaving and being like, that's one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. I loved it as a kid. It was hilarious. My brother and I were talking about this last night. Like what's the last funny movie? I think people say Bridesmaids. Yeah.

Yeah. That's good. That's a good call. About that far back. Some people say like Neighbors. Neighbors. Yeah. I thought Neighbors was pretty funny.

You know what? I think, I think sad movies are like movies where fucked up shit happens are really funny. That's why real... I mean, the funniest shit is reality TV. Vanderpump Rules, that whole scandal, that guy, Tom Sandoval, who's just such a full douche in a way that everything he says is electric. He's dressed as Sia and he's yelling at this guy's girlfriend

like standing up for his boy he's like he's like a beaten housewife and he kicks open the bathroom door and the guy's just sitting in there smiling he's got like that coked out smile yeah that's one of the funniest things i've ever seen and then dude he had another one his his girlfriend that i guess he just cheated on she doesn't want him to leave town cause her dad just died she's like I really need you and he goes I hear you but the guys are going to Vegas

and they're going to a dump and they're gonna crush stuff with monster trucks I'll say there's nothing better than a good douche a funny like fully realized douche because they're they're sensitive too like they're not just like cocky like he's got a lot of weaknesses and he's unabashed about all of it but yeah in theaters i'm not sure succession always cracks me up right dude i was watching i've been following, I'm on the subreddit for Brendan Schaub.

Yeah. And one of his handlers, this guy, Mark Harley, this Jack dude, who I met at a party. He's a nice guy. But I don't know him, like, well, well. He, and I did a podcast about Schaub, and he had a nice, he said, he liked my movie reference of In the Bedroom. So, at that point, I was like, me and this guy are brothers, like, locked in. But.

He has good flow, too, right? He's got's got nice hair yeah he's got a nice mane he had like a fabio kind of look to him yeah he's ridiculous like yeah he's like super jacked and like big block head and then like long flowing hair um but his old lady came out and said he's been a piece of shit and cheating on her and like abusive and stuff and all this crazy shit but um yeah this guy and he uh now his whole life's just like on blast on media like on on subreddits but he he like there's one thing where she's trying to pull out of a garage and he like lifts her car wait so yeah you told me this last night so he's lifting her car And he like lifts her car. Wait, so yeah, you told me this last night. So he's lifting her car so her tires can't go. Yeah, I guess it's like rear tire.

That's what he was actually doing. So he like lifts it up so she can't pull out. I thought he was doing just deadlifts or something. And she's like Instagram living it. Like, he won't let me leave this piece of shit. And yeah, it did make me laugh. That made me laugh. My pregnant girlfriend was in bed and I went into bed.

I was like, babe, I've been tired today. and this made me laugh. Yeah, she's like yeah good Yeah, I shouldn't laugh about that I'm sorry Dude, she's showing. Yeah. Yeah, she's got a pouch now. That's cool. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Do you rub it? Do you like listen? I do I talk to them sometimes. What's up dudes? Yeah, I hope you guys are chilling in there there you're in the best belly in the world you're getting all your nourishment you're resting good yeah don't don't worry about what's gonna come next i can promise you this stuff it's gonna be fucking fun dude i can't wait to hang out with you little dudes and go do stuff with you guys and show you the world and it's gonna be so exciting but uh for now just rest

just rest in there but i don't know do they sleep in there they're sleeping they sleep they are they awake probably not ever later sick I think they're just in goo you know like in the matrix they're just in goo do you remember anything from when you were in the

belly I woke up a few times yeah me too and I was I was like I was like I was just sticky. I was like, Mom, she's back to sleep. Dude, when we did the ultrasound,

the girl was fist pumping. The nurse literally turned to me and she's like, she's pumping her fist. I was like, yeah, it's my daughter. Everything she knows, I taught her her that's a part and then the boy was like lassoing his umbilical cord dude and then he put it down because i think he knew i think they both knew they were on camera they have an instinct for it yeah i'm not saying where they got it from yeah but uh i guess they both knew they were it was like there was a full house

checking them out so they both like put on a show. Yeah. Dude, that's awesome. Yeah, they're naturals. I heard on your ultrasound, you were J-ing off, right? I was, yeah, which was gross. My dad spanked me when I came out, but it never curbed my behavior. I stay on my beats. I remember you said you were in the belly in the ultrasound. You were J-ing off, and you were this, God damn it, JT.

I just heard my dad was like, JT, come on. People are watching. There's guests here. And I was like, oh, shit. I was like, oh, shit. Oh, for real? Oh, my bad. But I didn't stop.

I just turned my back to the ultrasound and finished. Yeah, you were like a gorilla at the zoo. Yeah, full on. I never grew out of it, baby gorilla, bro. That's what I do. I'm a monkey. Yeah, dude, good times. I remember being in the bellies.

The uterus is, I mean, I know Helix is our, Helix is my preferred mattress and Helix is our sponsor and I love them so much. For sure. But if I were to not go know Helix is our, Helix is my preferred mattress and Helix is our sponsor and I love them so much. For sure. But if I were to not go with Helix, I'd go with Uterus. Oh, nice. As your backup bed?

Mm-hmm. Anyone's Uterus in particular? I mean, I'll always love my mom's, but I think Elizabeth Hurley's would be nice. Yeah, Elizabeth Hurley's would be sick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be nice. Yeah, Elizabeth Hurley's would be sick. Yeah, yeah. That would be cool. Yeah, Elizabeth Hurley's would be fire.

She's so hot. She is really hot. Dude. Yeah. Busy day today. Yeah. We pitched, we're pitching a show right now guys. Live action.

It's me and Chad in an action comedy show. We're gonna have like guns in it. Coast Guard We pitched someone today we ripped that pitch That was that might have been our best pitch ever. We dress up like we're in the Coast Guard for it We look fucking adorable and It's like 23 pages of just hot hot heat I did look at the zoom of the people we were and I don't think this was the right place for it but i looked at the picture the people watching and they weren't paying attention but i had a moment where i was just like you know what fuck them dude this is for me

i'm bringing it yeah and we were good dude we were we were sizzling that'd be funny if they bought it that that happens too yeah sometimes people are sleepy and then they're like we want to make it i was like it's kind of like dating you're like you gave me no indicators it's like yeah that's how i do it yeah yeah i'm very withholding that'd be cool that would be cool yeah i would love to make it be a fun be a fun shoot we'd be on a boat on the water it's kind of like miami vice we wanted to have that kind of a location vibe san diego san diego vice yeah which is like a lazier dude I performed in San Diego on Friday night didn't have a great set

like especially when you're starting out there like get on stage as much as possible but we've been doing stand up so much and not even like

consistent nights but just like when we do do it it's you know an hour each night yeah two hours if you include the q a and uh i think i think a lot of it too is just doing the same jokes there's something in there where it's like when you're saying when you're like i always have to throw in at least one new

thing to keep it fresh but sometimes I just like haven't been had the opportunity to write or whatever and so it just there's something that feels stale and then you're just about to go on stage and you're there's just something you need something new each time to make it exciting for you they can feel it when it's too rehearsed or too overdone Florida was fun though we never got to talk about that. Yeah. We went to Florida, Palm Beach. I love Florida. It was beautiful. And I haven't been hanging out after this. I used to go out with people who come to the shows and stuff like that, especially when I was single, because I was horny. But now, happily married and stuff.

So I'm like, no time for that, bro. Back to the room and read. But I went out with some of the dudes afterwards and like, great guys. But dude, here's the thing. I want to name, I want to shout them out by name. Because there was one guy who showed me all the songs he does for karaoke. He met a new gal after getting his heart burned by a not as great woman. And he met a new gal who's really crazy about him.

They had a super cute meet cute. And now he does karaoke with her all the time. And he had a big list of all the songs they do together. That's cool. And he had like check marks behind the ones he really liked. I think his name was, I'm going to get it wrong, Corey. And then there was another guy there who was a Air Force guy who got paralyzed.

Yeah. And he was there for his bachelor party. Yeah, sweet guy. Sweetest guy ever. And during the Q&A, he's like, make fun of people in wheelchairs. And I was like, I didn't think he was in a wheelchair. I was like, what? No.

You're dumb. But then I met him after the show and he was in a wheelchair and he was such a cool guy and he's trying to get into standup. And I think he'll crush it. He's got a really good personality. They're from Alabama. Sweet guys. Good crew.

His whole crew is cool. I met a couple from Cocoa Beach. The guy, we talked about this, he had such kind eyes. Dude, the sweetest eyes. Yeah. It was striking. But they're talking about, I mean, I love Florida. Ever since we got a convertible and a Mustang.

Yeah, we got to talk about that too. That was big. Dude, I drove the Mustang to the airport the morning of our flight. I was driving. The sun was out. It's partly cloudy. There's palm trees. It's perfect.

I was like, this is where I got to be. You're in a USA Network show. Yes. I want to be a Florida guy. Anyways. notice dude and dude burn notice good show yeah fire show i like that actor he's in uh danny's favorite show yeah i swear to god i could have a good night yeah we live together one summer he's like i watch burn notice, Burn Notice, what's that other one? It was... Monk?

No. Suits? No, it was like Franklin and Bash. Yeah, I think that's TNT. That's TNT. Or TBS. Right.

TNT. Hey? Yeah, I'm gonna say TNT. They know drama. Yeah. They know drama for sure. Do I miss those channels? those channels there was something nice about them there was comfort in them like i never watched any of their shows but i was like i'm

glad they're making them yeah it's for somebody um but yeah so this couple from coco beach they said they watch rockets take off like every week yeah you like i'm like you can do that that's the sickest thing i've ever heard. Cape Canaveral? Yeah. So cool. I would love that. I guess it rattles the roof too. Sure, it's a lot of power.

But yeah, we left Palm Beach and then we drove in a convertible that Chad had rented. I DJ'd. Foo Fighters. Foo Fighters. A lot of Moby. Some puddle of Mud. Fuck yeah. Just all the hard hitting shit.

I don't think me and Chad said five words to each other. It was one of the best drives of my life. The sun was just baking us. We had the top down. 85 the whole way. Bro. So sick. It was really magical.

And then we had a show that night in miami super fun dania beach improv afterwards i'm doing a meet and greet an impromptu one we didn't have one on the books i walk outside there's some stokers i'm like oh i'll take some photos this is so nice put my backpack down dude it's in a photo at 7 10 photo at 7 12 it's gone someone stole my backpack dude and i had security with me security was like in front of the backpack i mean he wasn't expecting it i wasn't expecting it spent like an hour all sad looking for my bag had my laptop in it, dude. My journal. An expired passport. Get a text message four days later from Chad. A stoker took it by accident.

By accident. What? But I can't say anything bad about him because he has my journal. He knows everything about me. So i'm just happy i'm getting it back thank you yeah that was um and i had the i had the people from uh palm beach's names written down so i could shout them out as legends and babes but are you done yeah you get it tomorrow on wednesday fuck yeah the daniel beach improv didn't overnight it. They put me, like, Pony Express. It's taken, like, six days to get here. Yeah, we put it on a wagon.

It's coming. I know, yeah. I mean, dude, what is that? That's over a week, week and a half, no computer? Yeah. I would lose my fucking skull. It's been tough, dude. It's been challenging.

Yeah. But you know what? The lady's got, like, a a desktop so I can hop on there. But I was trying to write a script and I didn't have anything to write on. I had to handwrite it. Oh, well, that's kind of cool. It was fun. Yeah, maybe the ideas are better that way.

But I was like, all right. At least you know you can't chat GBT. No, didn't cheat a word of it, dude. Dude, chat GBT, CBD, could be on all that shit and wouldn't be able to do this. Plow. Should we hop into the news? Yeah. We had our wonderful right-hand man, Jake, send us some articles.

Dude, some women in Berlin, they've been getting naked in the public pools and they were getting tossed out, so they sued the gov and now it's legal. They're allowed to go topless. Free the nipple, dude. I've been saying that before it was a thing. I've been saying free the nipple since my mom was breastfeeding me.

You know, she put like a blanket over me. I was like, mom, free that nipple. One time my parents went to Europe for like three weeks together, which is too long of a trip to go with anyone. And my dad emailed me and my bro a picture from Barcelona. And he goes, me and your mom at the beach. And it was my mom with her tits out. And I asked my mom about it a couple years ago. She's like, I have no idea why he sent that. I asked him. I was like, Tommy, why would you do that? He's trying to flex on you. I don't know.

He's like, me and your mom, bros. I don't think he thought it through in iOga. I think he operates on instinct. And if you asked him what he meant by something, he would ask you what you mean by that. So did he text you? He texted you right after you got that email did he text you he texted you right out he's like you get that email he he followed up a bunch of times he's like i got more if you want to follow up no no it's just the one it's just the one but yeah that's cool they're free in the nipple and

i will say this though yeah that's so fucking funny it is funny she's just laying there with her jugs out yeah no I hear you I'm sorry that happened to you dude yeah you seem sorry I've never seen you crying you're crying at the thought sorry okay moving forward what's the next news rd what do you have so no i got more on the berlin thing

dude i think it's great but i think i think here's the thing this can go away and the way it's gonna go away is if fellas can't handle it you know what i mean so i would just send out a blanket called to decency to all bros in berlin just don't get boned up don't get handsy can you handle it can you handle the tits being out and still keep it decent because it's going to be a test bro i don't mean to be cynical about you know human nature and and male uh and the male ability to deter their own horniness but i gotta say this is it this is the moment step up be cool don't stare too hard be cool you know since they in the united states we differentiate would be like this is a nude beach, non-nude beach.

Maybe since they basically have all nude beaches now. They frolic in the lakes there. Yeah, they could be like, this is. I don't think they have beaches though. Right. This is a boner lake. This is a non-boner lake. So it's like at this lake, you can be pitching a tent.

At this lake, if you're packing heat and you're torqued up, then you're going to see some consequences. Probably pitching a tent. At this lake, if you're packing heat and you're torqued up, then you're going to see some consequences. Probably just a citation for having a boner. Well, because as a champion of streaking, I've always felt it shouldn't be a sex crime if you're running at a good clip, not directionally at anyone, and not hard. I think that's just an active expression.

But if you change any of those factors, if you're walking, if you're walking towards someone, if you're walking towards someone with a boner, now we have a crime. But if you're just at a nice marathon clip, flaccid as can be, looking only at the horizon,

that's good, clean fun. Have you ever struck with a torqued up dink? No, not because I couldn't. I could, but because I won't. Because I don't want, because that's actually scary. Yeah, like if you fall and right angle it? Yeah, yeah, the, if I fall on my boner,

not only could I damage my boner, I could damage the pavement, the street, the football field. I mean, you know, that's a big divot. That's a jackhammer, dude. Yeah, I'll punch right through the crust.

the earth didn't consent to that. So I'm not gonna just go around willy-nilly poking holes in it. I mean, you fall, next thing you know, they're gonna be like, who started fracking here without asking the city? We didn't know there was an underground lake here. Yeah. Thanks for the freshwater discovery, Par.

Yeah. Because that's how we do it. But yeah, that's cool. Good for Germany. It was interesting to see. They're like, yeah, they frolic naked over there. Is there countries where they don't frolic? Countries where they don't frolic.

Are you allowed to frolic in North Korea? I was about to say, no. I think in a lot of Asia, frolicking is kind of frowned upon. That's a big blanket statement right there, dude. I would say in more northern, like Japan, China, Korea. Hell yeah, dude.

Drilled it. Is that controversial? You can't throw a game chip at him. I don't know if I'd make a statement like that, but I appreciate you taking a swing, dude. New Mexico Game and Fish is now hiring professional bear huggers.

Bear lovers rejoice. The New Mexico Department of Game and Fish is hiring hiring professional bear huggers. Bear lovers rejoice. The New Mexico Department of Game and Fish is hiring for professional bear huggers. The department posted an adorable job listing on Facebook on Monday featuring precious snaps of conservation officers cuddling baby bears. So this job is... What? Okay. So the job is they're responsible for enforcing the game and fish laws and also educate the public about wildlife and wildlife management, conduct wildlife surveys, captures problem animals, investigates wildlife damage to crops and property, assists in wildlife. Okay.

What's the hugging part? Yeah. You know, I read the headline. I was like, makes sense. And then you read the article. I'm like, doesn't make sense. Yeah, it's not even part of the job. Is this clickbait? Yeah, that's the sugar on the pill.

They're like, oh, look at our job. You get to cuddle baby blackbirds. They're very little. They look like little babies. and then your job is actually you just gotta like catch poachers and put down like beavers that are destroying like irrigation dude beavers are no one talks about it but beavers are huge nuisance dude they're a menace yeah a menace to society it's like nice damn. Did you ask the city if you could do that? LA Metro now is blasting classical music in an attempt to make train stations safer.

Interesting. That's not going to work. No. Because here's the thing. When I hear classical music, I go ape shit, dude. when I hear classical music I go ape shit dude I go fucking ballistic dude

Modestar Chopin Tchaikovsky I remember one time Beethoven came on and you're like who the fuck is playing classical music? He's the most menacing of all of them, dude. His shit has an ominous vibe to it, bro.

And you started swinging. Not at anyone. You just started shadowboxing. Yeah. I was just ready. I was ready. And then he punched. He made a fat dent in the train.

Yeah. And I punched a dog. People don't like that. I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Okay. I would not do that. No, dude, you did it. Dude, but the visual is funny.

If you're just at a train station, a fucking Labrador leaps at you, and you're like, oh, shit. Let's make it like a Rottweiler jumping at you. You just clock it. You just turn and you're like. Dude, I hit it with a three-piece and a soda, dude. It was actually a combo.

Jack, Jack, Jack. I mean, there's this French bulldog just breathing on you. And you just fucking, you didn't even give him a jab. You just roundhoused him. I asked him. I said, this French bulldog is just mad dogging me at the Metro. Breathing all heavy. Breathing on me.

You know how they are. Mouth breathing. Totally. Not healthy. Not good for him. And then I'm just like, what's up, dude? Can I help you? And he's like.

I'm like, all right. That's your business. Keeps going, dude? Can I help you? And he's like. I'm like, all right. That's your business. Keeps going, right? And I finally turn. I'm like, dude, what is up, bro? How about giving me some space? He goes. And I was like.

And then he was with this, like, older lady. I don't know what their dynamic was. She had him on a leash. It was unclear. And she was like, no, no, no. Like, don't be mean to Penny. Penny doesn't mean anything by it i was like who the fuck is penny bro it's about me and this dog motherfucker and then i was just

like what's good dude and then dude i swear to god he showed his teeth at me he goes now where i come from like at my high school growing up there was one dude jaynar and before he socked you he would show you his teeth he got and so i had been like like a dog pavlovian conditioned to just throw right when i see teeth so teeth and then his mouth was open you know so way more uh susceptible to a concussion that way into getting knocked out because you want to have your mouth closed you know to keep your jaw tight dude i fucking cracked this french bulldog so fucking hard dude just hit him fat with a twisting hook dude these two knuckles bro straight into his neck yeah dude out out like a light yeah i was videotaping it because i just like to videotape you out in the wild and I had it in slow-mo

and it was the full boxing like whole face shifted all this drool just came flying out and they just looked at you yeah that stare he gave you he just kept looking I didn't actually knock him out he actually wore it

he just took the shot he was like oh he's a tough dog, he just took the shot. He was like oh He's a tough dog dude. He started nose breathing after that. Yeah. Yeah, I fixed his whole like respiratory system for sure Yeah, and then he bowed to me dude, yeah crazy was insane crazy Yeah, and I ended up fucking the older broad I saw that too. Yeah, you filmed that as well. Yeah. Yeah, you guys ended up fucking the older broad. I saw that, too. Yeah, you filmed that as well. Yeah, yeah. You guys are doing it against the tree.

She's a good lady. She broke up with me. Yeah. She ended up dumping me. Yeah. One time I was parked over at her place, and she was like, I think you're parked illegally. I was like, no, I'm good, because I thought we'd get a second round going. She's like, I think you're parked illegally.

I couldn't take the hint. She just wanted me out. Because I think, dude, she was fucking this old dude, Gunther, who lived down the hall. And because one time he knocked on the door when I was kicking it with her. And when I opened it, he was just in his tighty-whities with a fat wood in it. And I was like, what's up, dude? He's like, oh, I thought I heard the smoke alarm. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about, dude?

Yeah. And then when I finally left in the morning that night, Gunther was sleeping in the hall right by her door. Just like totally rocked up. Yeah. Dude, I remember one time, because I filmed you guys bone like every time yeah one time there was a knock on the door and I I opened it and no one was there and this happened a bunch of times while you guys were going at it so I think like he was he was weird he weird. And then there's that one time where it was like dark, but I just assumed it was you. But he's making, you know, the sounds coming from it were like, he was talking to, like, I was like, I was like, why is JT talking about the time when radio was king?

He said that? Yeah, dude. Yeah, he was crazy like crazy like that yeah he kept talking about the radio yeah yeah he's like he's he's he just loved talking about how when tv came in it just destroyed society yeah i was asking like which presidents gave the best speeches like fireside chats dude from fdr yeah yeah and then he's like now I'm about to pound that lady till she's in a wheelchair I was like god damn Gunther yeah he was a savage yeah the war of the worlds when he's talking about when that came on oh yeah that trip people up yeah he tripped him Wilson Wells yeah he tricked people he was like that was the best best story I've ever heard yeah he wanted it to be

ending some people want the end to come cuz they're ready for it yeah dude should we listen to some listeners' questions? Yeah. Guys, I'm interrupting this podcast, letting you know once again that we are on tour. We're coming to Sacramento, San Francisco, Portland, Washington, D.C., Ohio, Oklahoma. There's other places in there. Go to chatandjt.com for tickets. The shows are super fun.

We got Strider, Kevin coming to San Francisco and Sacramento, and then we got Strider comingvin coming to san francisco and sacramento and then we got strider coming to portland it's gonna be sick get your tickets right now at chanjt.com we're also brought to you by legends athletic greens guys i love athletic greens i drink athletic greens every day it's got all my nutrition in one glass you just pour it in there and you feel good you look good you're just like flowing with dank nutrition um all your kind of probiotics prebiotics if if you want you know that feeling when you get a lot of good nutrition in your body you just get that natural lift that's what athletic greens gives you and you can give you that every day at an affordable price makes me feel legit and And everyone loves it. 75 vitamins, minerals, whole food source ingredients, highest quality.

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Are you laughing about my mom's jugs again? No, just this whole. He is, dude. Just this whole pod. He's laughing about my mom's jugs, dude. No, I love your mom. Yeah, you think she's got nice jokes, right? Just look at him. Yeah, can I help you dog?

Okay Thank you, Aaron Before we dive in the voicemails, guys, the hotline is... The hotline is 323-418-2019. That's 323-418-2019 if you want to leave a voicemail. And you can hear from the store clerks themselves themselves on your ish jacuzzi

okay let's get it yo what up? What up? Yeah, this is your boy. You know, good. You saucy boys. You know, I've been kind of on the addies since I was, like, just able to walk. I was a victim of the amphetamine push of the 90s. And I don't know if any of you boys or any of your boys have ever, you know,

had that addy problem that they've been trying to kick, but since it's long-term, you know, it's not very dank to get off it, you know, for the body and whatnot. You know, appreciate you boys, and, you know, keep it tight. Has that question come in before? I don't think so okay well I just want to say

I feel for you getting off the addies is tough I never liked Adderall I was prescribed Adderall and it made me feel it took away my personality heightened my anxiety and I I'm just a fiend for the extreme so in college you know if I had to study especially just pop 10 and listen to Rage Against the Machine and write a paper on I don't even know what I don't even remember college because I was on so much adderall so i would just say stay strong get some help um jt i know you've got some good stuff on this because you've had experience with

adderall but for from my point of view your life will get significantly better if you get off of adderall and i think there are good alternatives i'm not saying to do this but in my experience microdosing mushrooms has similar effects without the gnarly side effects so yeah dude i uh i struggled with this pretty uh intensely for about a year i started taking them to be better at a job that i wasn't well suited for and it did help me um but there was a cost to it i I was quicker, sharper, less sensitive at the job but it fucked up my sleep. It kicked my sex addiction into overdrive

while I was on it and also when I was recouping from it because it was the only thing that could soothe me to make me feel better. And I did it at extreme doses. And it, you know, like any narcotic, at first you're having fun with it, and then it's having fun with you. And I feel like with all drugs, you have like a hit meter,

like you're playing Tekken or Street Fighter. And, you know, at first you're not feeling the effects of it because you still got some points left. But then once you drain that hit meter, you're kind of done for life. And I've been off of it for six years. I haven't done it since. And I'm a much happier person. And I'm actually better at all the things I was using it to assist me with

because I just had to get better at them the old fashioned way just through trial and error and without souping myself up. I will say coming off of it can be challenging. Your brain gets used to something and it takes a while to rewire itself. I would speak to a doctor and get some professional guidance on it. Um, there's also programs for it where there's people who have similar experiences and it can be really helpful to hear their experiences and to, uh, feel connected to them. And also to have a group of people who you can call without judgment, who can talk you through any harrowing moments you might experience, which you may not.

You might have an easier road than I did. I certainly know some people are able to get off stuff and they flip the switch pretty quickly. But yeah, man, I would definitely try it. Like you've been on it for a long time. You know what life is like on it. Try life without it and see how that feels. And I think you'll find new parts of yourself that might have been deadened by the drug that uh that will uh you know excite you and make you feel

more connected i i certainly experienced that and um yeah i i don't think uh you know some people may need it i don't think you need it i think you'll be all right. Yeah, I think one thing, too, I've quit the vape like 20 times. And when you're in the midst of, I know withdrawal from Adderall is probably gnarlier, but when you're in the midst of nicotine withdrawal, you can be, especially in those first three days, you can be so miserable and you can feel like you can get these these thoughts like this is how i'm like i'm never gonna if i'm if i can't have nicotine this is how i'm gonna feel for the rest of my life and it's gonna be awful but you just need to separate yourself from that and visualize and know that once you get over the hump of the withdrawal and all dependency, then it's sort of like paddling in big waves.

You're going to get over the big waves, you're going to stop getting thrashed, and then you're going to find peace. So you just got to paddle through those big waves. And I promise if you do, if you stay strong, if you get through there, you will find peace on the other end. And it is epic for sure yeah that's a good question man good luck to you reach out again keep us posted on how you're doing and uh yeah we're here for you brother

what up lads appreciate the call in line. Got a quick conundrum here. Been dating this girl for a little over a year now. She's awesome. She's actually an au pair from France, and she's got to go back, get in the old boot, back to the homeland beginning of June. back to the homeland beginning of June. So kind of brainstorming and need some ideas for a nice going away gift to really, you know, set her mind on me back at the homeland.

It's got to be something not too big, nothing breakable, you know, nothing that can shatter in a suitcase, but something that really is going to touch that heart piece. You know what I mean? So, yeah, give me your thoughts. Love the pod. Appreciate you, boys. Peace out. So I think you want something functional.

I think you got to get her multiple gifts, bro. And I like this gal a lot and I like you guys together. So let's send her off. Right. With different ways to remember you, my brother. So one thing, I think we need to get her a functional gift. Some she can use. Second thing, I think we need to get her something that reminds her of you.

And then third thing, we just got to get her something fun. So something that reminds her of you, two third thing we just got to get her something fun so something that reminds her of you two options option one a vibrator that's been molded from your dong option two on that front a love letter where you unveil all your deepest feelings for her and you let her know how much she's changed your life and charged your life with a new joy a new excitement a new drive that you never knew until the moment you laid eyes on her for the functional gift what do they need in France current events wise there's major beef going on in France right now because they're trying to extend the retirement age from 62 to 64 and people are pissed. I got nothing else on that.

Functional gift. Oh. Bro, have you seen these new basketballs? No. They're hollow and they're made with a 3D printer, and they have, like, black mesh on the outside. And each one's the exact same size. They all bounce the same.

It's like the first ball that they can totally reproduce to be consistent. Oh, interesting. And, yeah, get her one of those, dude. They're so fire. And I think they're going to take over the globe pretty soon if they can make them for cheap. They be pretty expensive right now but just sell some of your crypto dog so give her that basketball because that'll be a good reminder of america

as well because we hoop well over here although they got some ballers from france tony parker rudy gobert but for the most part dude you know it's an american sport in my estimation so yeah give her that basketball and third thing something fun something okay that'll be the fun one that's not that functional depending on how often she hoops i'm hoping often what's a good functional gift functional gift pasta that's italian though i was like if you French. Right, but that's where you go often with the gifts, right? I go with pasta maker. That's my thing.

I was thinking like French though. Do you go with a bread maker? Dude, I'm big on bread right now. I just watched Michael Pollan's Netflix episode on bread. And it really fired me up. Bread like changed the world. It might be the second dopest invention after the wheel bread is good yeah tom papa has a good bit about bread it's like it's like i have friends who they

don't eat bread anymore they don't eat bread you lose three pounds no one even notices and you're not eating bread i was like dude that's a really good way of putting it bread has like air in it like the chemistry of bread is incredibly uh exciting if if if like if not much excites you dude i was thinking there's one critical thing we're we're missing in this list this is a fire list by the way yeah and it got me stoked but there's one she's french you got to paint one of your French girls oh paint her while she's sleeping and then maybe paint she's awake in the movie right but you want to surprise surprise yeah yeah it might be creepy but you also paint your face yeah Yeah, that's a great call. Yeah. That's super personal.

And yeah, I think that's awesome. And maybe like a nice Clarins lotion. Women like lotion a lot. They do. They love lotions. Women are crazy about lotion. They go crazy. They got different lotions for like each part of the face.

Yeah. I'm using a neck lotion right now. My girl got me on it. Really? Yeah. My girlfriend's always like, she's like, what lotion do you use? I'm like, I of the face. I'm using a neck lotion right now. My girl got me one. Really? Yeah. My girlfriend's always like, she's like, what lotion do you use? I'm like, I don't lotion. It blows her mind.

It's crazy. She's like, why don't you lotion? And now I don't want to lotion as sort of like a stand my ground. I'm like, no, I don't. You're a stronger man than me. I don't lotion. You do look moisturized though. Thank you. Yeah.

But I was like, you know, it's a, that's probably the most contentious thing in the house. I was all itchy and I had dry skin. She's like, you need the lotion. I'm like, babe, I don't lotion. You think cavemen use lotion? You think hunter-gatherers went and speared a lion and then they put lotion on afterwards? I'm al natural, babe. That's interesting. then they put lotion on afterwards i'm al natural that's interesting did they not lotion for sure i don't know yeah people are always like this is a hunter-gatherer diet and this is how they

live day-to-day i'm like who'd you talk to fuck because i don't even think they had like writing dude actually in the verner herzog documentary that i forget the name of they're looking at cave drawings and there's one of like a hairy sasquatch looking dude from like prehistoric times and he's rubbing himself with an ointment, but not sure if that's Loche. Right. I mean, aloe comes from the aloe plant. I was thinking too,

did anyone ever just dollop themselves a little plant juice? That's crazy. Dude, get her some Clarins. I'm not sure if that's a French brand, but it's nice and it smells good. I always figure people back in hunter-gatherer times, they got a bunch of flowers, like herbal essences. They put them in one of their bowls and a fucking, you know, rock and just mashed it.

Yeah. And that's their shampoo. That's nice. Dude, also, yeah, I think writing a really beautiful letter is always a good move. And then, yeah, just really pour your heart out and do a letter. And then, dude, maybe marry her and get her the best gift, a green card. That's cool. But you don't have to do that if you don't feel ready.

Actually, take your own time on that and counsel with your friends and family. Don't listen to me. I'm just a guy on a podcast. Who loves you oh yeah this is sweet um coming at you from the university of rhode island dude i just um i'm struggling right now a lot with good can't find something that gets sorry i just um i'm struggling right now a lot with uh breakfast food can't find something that gets me going in the morning just just really need some help on this one i find myself hungry unsatisfied and i just can't decide thank you, this guy needs a good swift kick in the ass.

Brother, you can't find a breakfast food that excites you? Man, breakfast is the fucking best, dude. And it's got a variety of options. And dude, it's pretty easy to throw down on. You got an oven? Throw some bacon in there. Six strips.

Don't preheat it. Heat it with the bacon in there. Six strips. Don't preheat it. Heat it with the bacon in there. It's good for it. And then pour yourself a black cup of coffee. You'll be jacked up, dog. Put some ghee butter in that coffee. And then make some eggs sunny side up.

So you have the yolk running. And then, ooh, this is a new thing I've been doing. Yeah, get into it. Yeah, go baby. I've been putting some kimchi on the eggs, sunny side up. You mash them together. You got kimchi and eggs, bacon, some ghee butter coffee. You're going to be running on ketones like there's no tomorrow.

And I promise you, you will become more fertile than you've ever been. That's awesome. Yeah, dude, I don't like, you know, we all got problems. And I understand that this feels real for you. But, bro, you got the solution, dog. And then if it doesn't go well with the bacon and the coffee and the eggs, you go to McDonald's. 3,000 calories packed into a bag. All of it delicious.

The sausage biscuit? I put jelly on it. That's awesome, dude. I mean, this guy's got me worried about America. Our youngins don't know how to do breakfast? I mean, come on, man. Next thing you're going to say, like... I'm going to Uruguay to listen to jazz

I'm stoked that you're going to RISD dude. It's great school RISD What do you want me to know I'm just quoting wedding crashers Oh I'm not. I was just quoting Windy Crashers. Oh. You think that's it? Let's do one more. I'm trying to find one

that we haven't done. Guys, we're low on voicemails. We haven't been pushing the hotline enough. So again, the hotline is 323-418-2019. Give us your stuff.

Have we done the mating call? No. Oh, yeah. Thanks for your cue. That was awesome. Yeah. That's that dude's mating call? Can we hear it again? Oh,

yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You know what I like about it? Oh, yeah. I like that it's male and female. That almost sounds like the bear from that movie Annihilation. Like it's something so human. It's like a combination of all humans.

it's like it's like a combination of all humans that really had a lot of vulnerability in it it was powerful but not overbearing it was just

it was free from trying to fit in that was good dude if that's how you sound when you bust, you're good. You're really in it. Can I put you in on a secret? That's you. What, that's what I sound like?

Well, you know I always videotape you while you're boning. Yeah. Especially when you were with that older nice lady. Yeah. That's from one with that older nice lady. Yeah. That's from one of your sessions. Whoa. Yeah.

See, she never gave me any feedback because she'd take her hearing aids out. Yeah. And I remember you were always asking. You were like, please tell me. Tell me how it sounds. And she's like, I don't know. I can't hear.

And that was my gift to you. Happy birthday. Because she always sounded so lovely. Yeah. She'd be like, oh, oh, oh, it's been years. Thank you. Thank you, nice boy. I needed this.

Oh, since Philip died. Oh, it's been so long since anyone fucked me. Please keep going. Oh, oh, oh, oh. She was awesome, man. It was always so dusty afterwards. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of particulates in the air.

Straight up Ridley Scott, Robin Hood type shit. All right, Chad, who's your beef of the week what's my beef yeah my beef of the week is family style restaurants bro i'm not into it i'm not into it i went to family style last night you mean when they serve it like well it's like you have a menu and they're like they're like this is family style, it's meant to be shared. And so you're ordering and you're like, first of all, we ordered way too much because we weren't sure if there was gonna be enough food and then you're really not sure of the portions.

And then there's some things like, I ordered the arugula salad. And in my mind, I'm like, I don't wanna share that. It's not a good shareable item. I want my own arugula salad. I ordered the duck leg, I'm fancy. I want my own arugula salad. I ordered the duck leg. I'm fancy. I want my own duck leg. I don't want to share, you know, I don't want my brother doing some wishbone-ish on the duck leg.

You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. So I think family style, but they should say, like, I think they should have disclaimers being like, you can eat this plate solo. This is a big one. This is meant to be shared. You know what I mean? They should give more because honestly it kind of feels like a way for them to just rack up the orders a little bit because people aren't sure if they're going to get enough food.

That could be true. And they really, I mean, you've got to ask sometimes, but who's in the business of that? You'll be like, the dankest item, it'll be like the black cod. You know, I mean, you got to ask sometimes, but who's in the business of that? You'll be like, the dankest item, like it'll be like the black cod. You know what I mean? It's like four bites. And then so if you, oftentimes you're there with five people, no one gets a satisfying amount. And then you have to order another one. But then it still gets, you know, broken up into five bites.

And so you're left wanting the entire time. I'm with you, man. If I go to a place, just bring me a big fat dish. That's just for me. Appetizers will share, but entree, unless you're splitting it with one other person, it's just not the best way to eat. It's like, I guess that's like, you know, people are like, well,

eating is not about like when you go out to dinner, it's not about like being full. It's about like having an experience with your friends. And I'm like, like, you know, people are like, well, eating's not about like, when you go out to dinner, it's not about like being full. It's about like having an experience with your friends. And I'm like, no, dude. No, it's about going to town. Yeah. It's about going to work, bro. You put it in front of me.

It looks daunting to your average citizen. To me, I know what I can do. I know what I can put away. Watch this. what i can do i know what i can put away watch this it's it's about ending the meal where you grab your body your tummy and you're like oh i've been there i've eaten until my belly was distended yeah i've puked from eating too much from overeating good what's your beef smoke so much weed that day i was so baked shocked about eight bowls wasn't even stupid my beef of the week is with myself um in an earlier podcast a very early one

like in our first 10 uh someone was crushing on a chick and he was asking for advice on how to make it happen and uh I remember this thing that an improv teacher had taught me in New York about finding the funniness scene it was called the parable of the unicorn and he was asking for advice on how to make it happen. And I remember this thing that an improv teacher had taught me in New York about finding the funniness scene. It was called the parable of the unicorn. And he basically said, if you want like the funny to come to you, or if you want this beautiful woman to come to you, don't go through the forest chasing the unicorn.

You'll end up cutting everything down, burning it to nothing, and you'll never find the unicorn. But you just go out into the forest, you have a pretty picnic, you play the ukulele, that unicorn will come walking right up to you. And people will come up to me after shows and be like, bro, the parable of the unicorn, that really changed my perspective on shit.

And it means a lot to me. But then in my head, I'm like, bro, I need to find a new parable that's as good as the parable of the unicorn. So I've been looking through every book every movie every conversation trying to find my new parable of the unicorn so guess what i'm doing the opposite of the parable of the unicorn oh shit i'm chasing the new parable and i'm burning down the forest but i'm not looking around and smelling the leaves I'm not sitting down and enjoying the environment I'm chasing it and that's not how I'm gonna find it. So I'm done

I'm just gonna chill and the next parable of the unicorn whatever it's called Well, hopefully mosey over to my picnic and drop its sophisticated intelligent enlightening combination of words right in my mouth chad what's your baby of the week or who's your baby of the week my baby of the week is cookies bro you ever feeling sad have a cookie it's even said in our culture bro go have a cookie just go have a cookie i love cookies that's it hell yeah dude simple there is something about that i had a job where i would get like in trouble or whatever it was just a tough job everybody was just you know

under pressure and and and blame was getting dispersed around often so you felt stressed and i remember every time i'd get like an email that was like hey you didn't do this right or every time a boss came up to me it was like this didn't come through correctly i would walk straight to the pantry i'd open that guy up and i would put three cookies in my mouth and i'd feel better dude my babe of the week is john belushi great american actor snl superstar i watched his doc on a flight we were on recently. And, you know, he lived a colorful, exciting, tragic life. But he lived it to the hilt.

But my favorite thing about him was that his nickname was America's Guest. Because he would walk into strangers' houses. And, you know, he was recognized by all. And they'd be like, holy shit, John Belushi. And he was real easy with people. He'd be like, hey, do you mind if I eat some food and watch TV and sleep on your couch? Really? Yeah. And so he'd be shooting movies all over America.

And they would lose him on set. They'd be like, where's John? Where's John? And then they would just get a call from some rando citizen being like, hey, John Belushi's here. He says I should probably reach out to you guys. And they're like, what's he doing? And they're like, he's like watching sports on the couch and like drinking a beer that's crazy it's pretty wild yeah and i think he missed he didn't want to be anonymous but he still wanted to be like connected to

everybody and so he took advantage of it i know there's a lot of stories about bill murray doing that stuff but yeah i i really love it with both of them and if i ever get to that kind of place i'm gonna do the same thing. I'm just going to go into people's homes and be like, what up? Let's hang. I love that. Get to know them a little bit and then cruise. Almost Famous has a great scene about it.

Chad, who's your legend of the week? It's my brother, Bill. I spent some time with my brother and his family over the weekend. We had a great time. He's the best. And his family over the weekend. We had a great time. He's the best.

He's just very, very aspirational to me. Because when I see him, he's so smart. He's so funny. Very successful. He has a great family. Beautiful family. And you're just like, you spend time with him and you're like, I'm just honored to have a brother like that.

Both my brothers are like that. Just to be able to look up to them. All my siblings are like that. To be able to look up to them and be like, wow, you know, I'm so thankful that I have you as my siblings. Because you guys give me a beacon to look towards. And I'm just very proud. Respect. That's really nice.

Dude, I gotta give it to my brother then. My legend of the week's my bro. He was huge at Greg's wedding. I followed his lead on helping to set up. He always makes the right call. Whenever it comes to like the duty of friendship, my brother has perfect instincts. uh yeah he's a good north star for that stuff so thank you chris what's your quote of the week dude it's tough for me to think

of a quote of the week i feel like i've come up with so many quotes i don't know what to do anymore i kind of felt that on the car ride over i'm like like I'm out of quotes fuck we've done a lot of episodes dude what are some memorable quotes inspiration does exist but it must find you working someone wow he didn't even take credit for it it must find you working. Someone.

Wow. He didn't even take credit for it. Dude, I don't know who said this, but I wrote it down in my notes. You can't just love something. You also have to take care of it. Amen. Chad, what's your phrase of the week for getting after it? My phrase of the week for getting after it is like, I'm going straight to the cookie jar bro.

The cookie jar of life. Whoa. What's yours? Um, mine is... Ball with the ball to bang to bang diggy diggy diggy said a boogie said um jump to boogie Bye. All right. Feels like a good place to leave out. Aaron, you want to add anything? No, I'm good. All right.

Whoa. Badass, dude. Stokers, thank you for listening. Keep spreading the good word. Keep writing reviews. Watch it on the YouTube. And just keep being awesome. If you need advice

These guys are really nice You wanna know What to do Where to go When you need someone to guide you Who's to have the throat beside you Go free Go free

Let's go deep I'm going deep I'm getting deep See you next time.