Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 288 - Sam Morril

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

Today we are joined by the legend Sam Morril. Sam is an amazing comic from New York. As a regular at the Comedy Cellar and a die hard knicks fan, the stories sam drops about his life are super interesting. He talks about when he was in high school and how he found his voice and performance ability which has carried him to his career today.  Go see Sam live, he is a must see comic.Get tickets for Sam here: https://www.sammorril.com/shows Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check us out on tour!  We've got San Diego and Ohio next! https://www.chadandjt.com Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/

What's up guys before we begin this fire fire podcast that we know you're gonna love Make sure you check us out on tour. We have an epic show that we know you're gonna love it is Coming to a city near here. We're in San Diego next come out and see us at the mic drop comedy club Get your tickets at Chad and JT calm. We're going to Ohio after that We got Appleton, Wisconsin coming up. We oklahoma coming up we got tulsa all that good stuff and some new dates coming soon also irvine in september if you're in the irvine area get that ticket link now guys you do not want to miss these shows check them out at chat and jt.com and also hit the hotline make sure you hit the hotline leave Make sure you hit the hotline. Leave a voicemail.

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All right. JT Boom clap, Stokers. We're here with Sam Morrell. Dude, thank you for joining the pod. Thanks for having me. Yeah, fired up to have you. It was fun. Cheers, by the way. Yeah, so this is your whiskey, right? Bodega Cat. All right. Cheers. What was the process of getting this?

Sorry. So easy. The process was so easy. Mark and Norman and I have a podcast where we just drink, and we were talking like, well, we should have our own drink. And Mark said, how would we do that? And literally a million emails came in of just like drunks being like, I can do it.

Some people didn't even have distilleries. But then the ones that had like legitimate setups were like, oh, this guy's a distillery. We can do this. And yeah. Do you sample them and like refine your palate and whatnot? Such trash bags that we were sampling it and we didn't realize you're not supposed to swallow it.

So we're like doing a march madness style bracket we're like we gotta put this against this one now and uh yeah we were wasted but we ended up we're like this is the one for sure so you came up with the name and everything yeah yeah it was supposed to be fat cat but then someone else was like well you have to pay us because we have a wine if it was a beer it didn't matter but there was a wine we had to yeah and then uh bodega cat people were like well how will people know what a bodega is and you know i'm like does anyone know what a fucking whistle pig is no but people drink that stuff so yeah it's bodega that's city specific language to new york doesn't travel like a corner store but people but

people but people have bodegas in in kansas they just don't call it that it just sounds cool all it has to do is sound cool i just thought it's something that makes you happy when you see it. So you go into a bodega late at night and a little cat will pop out from behind the box and you're wasted. You just pet a cat and you're like, oh, that made me happy. That's very sweet. You just think of a happy thing and Mark and I were like, bodega cat.

It's very literary. I like that. You studied English, right? I mean, yeah. I did kind of. It was like ancient comedy stuff, like ancient Greek stuff. Oh, interesting. Yeah. So you were always interested in comedy and you wanted to get to the origins of it? I think I just was, I didn't know what to do.

Yeah, I just was like, this is something to do that sounds legitimate. Who's the funniest dude from ancient Greece? Jeez, Aristophanes probably. The beast. Monster. Well, you read this shit And it's like You're like rape joke Fart joke

Dude a lot of that Yeah People were like This is You should be cancelled I'm like You guys should check out 4000 BC Greece

Cause they were doing The same shit I don't know There were probably Like people writing shit Back then Who were like This is

We need to get rid of Aristophanes But back then They were probably Like fucking boys Which is kind of Similar to now It this is what i actually do yeah but they were more out in the open about the boys yeah it was more accepted yeah it was like highbrow back then yeah they were like yeah arizona the great was doing it that was like a status symbol if you fuck boys you were like a conqueror you're a made guy yeah for sure i was reading a i don't

know if it's aristophanes but this one intellectual back then was talking shit to another guy and he's like, first you will say my paper is better and then I will butt fuck you. Yeah, that's what they used to do. There was this guy, Archilochus, who would like, it was like, that was like rap battles, but old, like white dudes. So we started it. Yeah. We started it.

Yeah. Hey, if you're listening and you like hip hop, you're welcome. No, we, yeah uh yeah that he would talk so much shit he called this woman like i guess he was like in love with this woman and her family didn't and you could fact check this i could be wrong here but it was something along the lines of like the family didn't accept him and he wrote a thing shaming all of them and they all killed themselves wow yeah so it was like that type of shit that's a powerful powerful letter guy's got rhymes you know that was like that girl of shit that's a powerful powerful letter guy's got rhymes you know

that was like that girl who convinced that boy to kill himself and she ended up going to jail yeah she deserved to go to jail for sure i just didn't know what the sentence should be i'm like because it's not quite murder like the guy was somewhat complicit in it i mean he was dumb for sure no offense if anyone here was friends with him i don't know listening but I mean he's a big he's a better says this is his one escape I mean technically he went deep he went six feet under deep but you know she was a psycho bitch like to feel no remorse and to just you know I think the judge said that at the sentence yeah that's I think they thought she was gonna get off with it oh really well it seemed like in the dock I remember watching that dock that at the sentencing. They thought she was going to get off with it.

Oh, really? Well, it seemed like in the doc. I remember watching that doc. That was like, by the way, at the end of True Crime. I can't do True Crime anymore. We talked about this with Norman last week. Really? Just how I think it's insensitive to do all these True Crime things. It's a lot.

It's just too many. The Murdoch one was pretty good. I watched that one on Netflix. Well, now they get these guys. I know Thin Blue Line kind of same deal, but now they'll fight. The documentary will prove these people are guilty and put them in jail. It's kind of a social good. I don't know how they timed it for the trial, but that was incredible.

You're just watching cable news and he's there. And then you're like, oh, Netflix. No wonder it's trending. It's fucking everywhere. Nice supplemental piece for sure. I don't even know if my issue is that it's incentive i mean it definitely is my issue is it's oversaturated to the point that you're just like it's literally a dead person and you're like get to it you know you're like bored

they try to stretch it into like 10 episodes yeah totally i watched the boston marathon one and i was like this is my being i've like seen it before like i don't know there's just like they take you through it and you're like i don't it's like They take you through it and you're like, I don't know. It's kind of the same structure and you're like, all right, I know what's coming. I know where it's headed. I did a Boston Marathon joke in my half hour Comedy Central special in Boston right after it happened. Oh, you did? And it did not work.

I remember it was something like, I remember it killed at the Comedy Cellar so hard because it was so terrifying when I went. So I got cocky and I was like, I'm going gonna fucking do this in my special in boston and it was like silence yeah it was something like uh man i was so devastated when i saw the news i my first thought was me and my brother we don't do anything together anymore that's a really good joke it fucking got crickets in boston they were just like did you follow up and be like did you not laugh because you didn't like the joke or because you guys are still sad about the tragedy?

No, I moved on. I was like, let me get something back. Yeah, it was weird. Where in your set, because that's during a special too, did you feel like you lost momentum there or were you able to...

No, I got it back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also they sweetened that shit in Comedy Central. It's funny when you get comments where people are like, this is sweetened and you're like,

no, it's not. But in those, yeah, they would not but in those yeah they would actually sweden right people used to get really upset about the edits on those too right like i heard jimmy pardo he does all crowd work they didn't put any crowd work in his what and this was just a two minute special exactly uh no we uh yeah i you know what i hated about that that's back when specials were on tv so you're literally the edit is like i'm in the middle of a story and it just went to commercial yeah you i remember for my first comedy central i did an hour special with comedy central and uh i had to do three edits because you had to do like the regular one for whatever then you do the 50 minute version which is the

extended release which they air and then the the uh they had another one that they would do we'll air this less but this is a 40 a 40 or 42 minute version so three different edits takes forever yeah also it's like that's not imagine that's how you make them you don't make a movie for tv where you're like well i'll do a commercial this is a scene i'll do a commercial yeah you know but i i can't watch movies on unless it's like hbo or like oh you don't like doing one of those like five hour braveheart sessions on tvs i hate it i like it movies on, unless it's like HBO or like. Oh, you don't like doing one of those like five hour Braveheart sessions on TBS? I hate it. I like it because you just know it's going to take, there's something comforting to me

about like, this is my entire Saturday now. I hate it because you'll watch like Casino instead of Fuck You. They're like, forget you. I'm like, this sucks. There's something, we were talking about this earlier though. There's something about the USA Network and TNT. There's a comfort level to those channels. Well, svu yeah yeah and that i'll remember the shows on there like burn notice franklin and bash yeah franklin and bash challenging stuff wasn't that based off like

uh dennis lahane who was that based on i was gonna ask you which authors you liked and he was gonna be one of the ones i guess oh really do you like richard price too i don't really wait what does he what did richard price write again he did like lush life clockers you know i was gonna guess i know who he is yeah they're similar they both wrote on the wire together too yeah no i like i like lahane he's good yeah his stuff's badass i read one of his short stories where like a son has to kill his own dad in the end and he like he puts glue in the dad's clip and the dad's like gun's not gonna work is it and i was like dude this is the fucking most badass shit i've ever read oh yeah he's cool that's like that grimy boston stuff it's fun yeah he's responsible for a lot of the great movies now the last

couple decades it's pretty crazy right do you think new york or boston's a better movie city i mean definitely new york but uh just we're going like all time for sure but uh boston's got some great i mean i love the town and i love uh the departed like that's one of those movies i can't not watch if it's on tv it's just so fucking fun um damn yeah i love uh the i love a lot of boston movies but new york all time come on dog day afternoon the taken appellant one two three the original one. So many good New York. Very grimy, too. We got a little Scorsese for the most part.

That's when they used to put ugly people in movies, too. They don't do that as much now. Oh, man, Walter Matthau was a lead. If you don't know who Walter Matthau is and you're listening, look him up and you're going to be like, that guy was a fucking lead actor? But there was something about him, right? He's amazing. He had like a charisma, but it was like an everyman charisma i know back then like every dude could look like

kathy baits you know like it was something crazy about like like he was like dustin hoffman was a lead that was nuts this dude's like and they could be like a tough guy in some movies you're like this fucking dude yeah him pacino pesci they're all pint-sized but you believe them as you believe for the most yeah which is crazy i guess he just grew up around those guys so he understood how to like mimic that energy but he's one of the smallest guys alive yeah but i would not want to fight nikki santoro fuck me up in a fight dude yeah i watched my cousin vinny last night great movie great movie the best one of the best movies dude when he's when he's good when he's first meeting the guys in jail and the guy thinks he's about to fuck him yeah and he's like this is your ass not mine you're just gonna jerk me off he's when he's good when he's first meeting the guys in jail and the guy thinks he's about to fuck him yeah he's like this is your ass not mine

he's like oh yeah that movie that's classic yeah do you write screenplays and stuff like that not really I mean I've written stuff before but like I stand-up takes up so much of my energy that like I want to do stuff like that at some point but uh i need a minute to chill you know yeah you need to get into like deep focus to be able to really do it right and also that's not how you even get anything made you find out like you're like i wrote a screenplay people like come up with a pitch and you're like oh yeah is it weird i've been i've been i was writing something and like people who i was just embarrassed to say my manager he was

like write it as a pitch i was like i'd rather write the script and they were encouraging me to put it into pitch format i know but that doesn't feel as like creatively nourishing for lack of a better phrase yeah no we want to create that's because they're asking you to do a business thing and you want to do the artistic thing yeah and i'll figure out those other things after i do the artistic well you probably could do that but they're probably telling you like this might be a waste of time right it's definitely a waste of time yeah but but a worthwhile one yeah i mean you just got to put your energy where you want to put your energy and not expect it to work i think it's tough it's tough to not expect it to work my brain just instantly wants to believe that everything has like immense potential but it might work i mean

like i've worked on i worked on a show with dana gould and like i love the show we made it was like a really funny idea and we spent like seven months on it and we couldn't sell it anywhere and it was like but that time wasn't wasted i learned a lot from from working with someone like that so and he's a genius like i love him and he's also like we're now like i feel like friends for life so you you get stuff out of even the things that feel like they're now like i feel like friends for life so you you get stuff out of even the things that feel like they're going nowhere yeah if you're working with cool people who have different brains and then if you do bad stuff that bad stuff will shape decisions for the future too not to get to like to uh you know that sounds like dalai lama ish right now no i think

that's true right because like even i don't know why i popped up but like hemingway he like wrote a bomb and then in the wake of that, he wrote The Old Man and the Sea in, like, a week just to, like, make himself feel better. Yeah, that guy, I mean. Good hang. Do you think, good hang? I don't know.

Do you think he would have gotten as much work done if he was in our age? Like, if people were, like, just texting Hemingway, like, pictures of cats that look like Tommy Lee Jones? Do you think he'd be able to like bang out piece after piece? Because he would have to disappear. He'd have to go to Cuba. Did you see that PBS documentary?

It's incredible. It's really good. It's like, and then him. All the problems are that his mom dressed him as a girl when he was a kid. I know. That's like the root of it. No commentary there. I love that that might have fucked him up worse than war. Well, he was good. Yeah, he fell in love that that that might have fucked him up worse than war well he was good yeah he fell in love with that nurse and yeah she was married those uh those wartime

romances sound powerful yeah he doesn't none of these guys it's funny all these like great artists are like man they were not good to women maybe that's the secret just be a self-indulgent piece of shit and you know well that was like the defining way to write back then too it's like every great novel from that era is just a dude being like man i'm horny as fuck but like in the most beautiful language possible yeah that's like to have and have not i always think it's hilarious when they outlaw books it's like that's the only way you're gonna get kids to read if you're like you can't read mouse anymore or you can't read what was the ones they were yeah there's this pool boy one right now

that's like getting ripped out of libraries because there's like a guy on guy bj's scene in it i mean what will make a kid want to read a book more than being like this is outlawed yeah because we used to hunt that shit like when you get the diary of anne frank i remember i wasn't going to touch it because i just didn't pay attention and all my homies were like bro there's a gay scene in it where she kisses a girl i was like what page yeah some dude in the fucking alley like yo i got aunt frank i got uh he's got all that good jewish shit dude i yeah i don't know if i mean i think he still would have written as much but i think they would have been more boring stories like he wouldn't have gone to war he wouldn't have traveled i know the war stuff's his best stuff right i mean it's you know that's like the raw shit yeah

he's in there all those guys went to war isn't it crazy thing about what pussies we are like like that room like jd salinger and all yeah i i've been watching a lot of world war one movies i mean it's crazy like the shit they went through yeah their lives they would have to take like shits in the you know it would just it would just smell like shit or dead bodies yeah and then for us it's like to like interrupt your life for like four years just to go and like you watch like saving private ryan it's like how do you how do you reintegrate back into the world after that oh dude i mean back then you went to war and now it's like you gotta put your phone down for two hours you're like oh my god i'm on a flight without wi-fi and i'm like this is i lose my mind

i'm going if you're hung over in a flight without wi-fi i and then i start doing those comparisons like i'll be like this is like fuck it and then you're like it's not like a death camp but it feels bad the agita is at that level though like i'm crawling out of my skin it's brutal when you're hung over and you have that anxiety you just need a friend to be like i'm fucking struggling and then you need them be like i'm sorry you know you just need a friend to be like, I'm fucking struggling. And then you need them to be like, I'm sorry. You know, you just need that. That's huge. Yeah, we do that for each other when we're hungover.

You just need someone to hold you. You just need a little body-on-body contact. It's for real. That'll bring you through the day. I'm watching, like, Fury, and they're just drinking whiskey in the tank. Yeah, like us. The hangover from that, like, I can't imagine waking up hungover and like, I gotta fight a war

today? You're in France and the Nazis are coming. By the way, shout out to John Bernthal. Badass Jew. Is he a Jew? Exactly. Wow. He is a phenomenal actor. I think he's great. I was on radio with him. It was like a news story. I was on

Jim Norton's show in the morning. He was trashing Kevin. He was like the first guy to start the Kevin Space spacey oh really oh wow because i guess they worked on baby driver and he was like that guy's a bad dude really and everyone was like oh okay and uh i guess he's big enough that it took off with all these news things yeah it's like john bernthal says kevin spacey sucks and i was like i was just like oh i was there for that that was weird and he's kind of one of the only actors who's like a throwback to that 70s like authentic masculinity where he does feel like a genuine tough guy yeah no i like him i think he's cool um yeah just a voice why did you have beef with him though no no that was my beef because i just don't like his uh

podcast voice i watched the shia labeouf movie honey boy though's like, that guy, I know he's like a child actor, but that's like, I would not want that fucking childhood for a second. That looked terrible. Yeah, getting pied in the face and humiliated on set. I mean, just the dad sucked. Yeah. Did you watch his podcast or listen to it with Bernthal? Yeah, didn't he get in trouble for domestic abuse or something?

Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to pillarize anyone, but I think he's really good at talking about his fuck-ups but at a certain point i'm like you just got to stop fucking up no matter how eloquent you are is that a bitch move by me to criticize no i think i think uh there are people like it's funny i was watching that scene in the town because we're talking about the town earlier i was on the road with uh dina hashem who would open for me sometimes on the road and uh there's that scene where he's like giving that speech to rebecca hall and it's like i messed up i'm like this dude must have mastered that right i feel like how many times has he like

done this how to give this jennifer garner he's just like i some strippers i messed up and then he's like that i'm gonna use that i could use that and uh yeah at a certain point actors are they're famous for being liars they're charming right and we like them because they're good at reading words but like their job is to make us like them and they're good at it and to and to like take their like war wounds and make them relatable to all of us so i yeah i totally get i mean it feels a bit like a grift I don't mean to be polarizing, but like, don't hit women, dude. That's what I'm saying,

dude. That's fucking crazy. But I love Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck's like my hero. He's great. I think he's, he's awesome. Yeah,

did you see Air? No, it looks awesome. Oh, dude, you'd love it. I know, I feel like it was made for me,

but I'm so, I'm part of the problem because I'm so mad no one goes to movie theaters anymore because it's killing good movies, but then I don't really go to movie theaters anymore yeah it is a bummer the state of film like a.o scott from the new york times quit because he said there's no more good movies wow really yeah he's the top film critic in the country and he was like there's no movies for me

to review because i used to review movies like like air michael clayton like these mid-tier movies like budget-wise and now it's just all marvel and it just wow yeah it must be annoying movies like budget wise and now it's just all marvel and it just wow yeah it must it must be annoying he probably hates his job now but it's funny critic was like that was a job like a real serious now anytime someone's a critic i'm like what do you make like 400 a month like what do you the hell are you criticizing and it's anytime someone's like a critic i'm like are you homeless i i remember loving that show the critic the john lovett show but can you imagine he like was rich on that show yeah and now you're like that Lovett show. But can you imagine? He was rich on that show. Yeah. And now you're like, that guy would be fucking poor as hell.

All the critics, you watch old movies. You ever see that movie, The Sweet Smell of Success? It's amazing. Amazing movie. But that was like the days of like, I will destroy you in my column. And you're just like, can you imagine someone saying that to you now? You'd just be like, oh, just put it on YouTube. I'll be fine.

Yeah, there's one of a million. Yeah. Same thing with the news. I remember when I was a kid, I saw one of the the guys from the news like the local news at the grocery store he was like the biggest celebrity i've ever seen like those got like eight million views crazy yeah there's not really any prestigious job left in america yeah i was thinking about it like we're drinking right yeah there's nothing left like even doctors like i think people don't really respect doctors like everything is kind of they do but also like i think people don't really respect doctors like everything is

kind of they do but also like i don't know it's all doctors are such fucking assholes though like if you're i don't like their the way they talk to people it pisses me off well there needs to be a course in medical school maybe make it a two-week course bedside manner yeah communication decent fucking human people are nervous when they're talking to you and they're scared for their life you're just sitting in there for hours well they're they'll i feel like they always live on the extremes where it's like you're gonna die or you're a pussy you know it's like there's never that in between where i guess they'll say like you're fine they've had to they've had to train themselves to be robots yeah because if they felt compassion they would probably just collapse they couldn't take on the toll of all that yeah no they're just like you're not gonna

make oh fuck like if they had to do that with every patient yeah it would be insane one time i sprained my wrist snowboarding my dad's a hand surgeon and uh and uh he told my siblings i'm i'm one of seven he told them he's like he's like yeah they're sprained it or he's never gonna have full use of his hand again they all started crying wow yeah but i just sprained it and i got percocet so i was chilling that's fucking great yeah but he's awesome he he definitely goes between the extremes drinking on those drugs is excellent oh yeah well yeah i i didn't i didn't, I just took all of them. That's great. I was in college,

I took five at a time. You know that Nick DiPaolo joke? It's like an old bit I love where he'd say, you know, I went to the ER and I don't want to say the line was long,

but the guy in front of me, they were like, is there a John Quincy Adams here? And I said, it's going to be three hours. He goes, how are you going to pay for this? With my life,

if you don't pick up the pace. It's just perfect you know DePaulo right I haven't seen him in forever but I knew him when I was a young comic and

yeah he had some great jokes I mean he was like a classic throwback comedian one of the best when we used to go when we were on our first road trip we listened to his album the whole way

yeah I was dying when I first heard he had this Rosie O'Donnell joke I can't remember it so funny verbatim but yeah I would love to see that guy live. I remember he had a joke about Rosie O'Donnell. I think it was like the day Osama bin Laden got shot.

And he was like, because he was just a wife as a human shield. And he goes, if only he was married to Rosie O'Donnell, he'd still be alive. I'm like, man, that's like a perfect topical joke. Yeah, he's a classic. I don't have a problem with her eating pussy. i just don't know when it got so fattening he's a he's a classic yeah he was uh he was an intimidating type of guy because i'd heard he could be a dick to comics and then when i met him he was like the nicest most friendly guy ever yeah he hosted a show i did on access tv live and uh i had a good

set and he was hosting and he was like so nice and we had a couple drinks after and then uh yeah i used to go on his radio show back in the day and we would just argue politics and he's so right leaning and i was so the opposite but it was like it would just result in fun hilarious conversation because he wasn't a dick about it so we would just be laughing the whole time you know yeah that's kind of been lost too right where that's why i like talking with him because i was like this is a dude that we're not that we don't have that much in common but we just both love comedy so we just like got along really well and uh i always liked him a lot for that reason were you ever at the cellar during that time when there was that one table in the back that just roasted everyone i was i started working there no i wasn't there for that i was at the comedy seller i started

there in 2011 and uh which holy shit i've been there a while and uh yeah uh no they were that was gone patrice died bill bird moved to la uh i got a little bit of it but it was so light I remember the night I auditioned at the Comedy Cellar I was nervous and Keith Robinson was one of the funniest people he's one of the last of those ball busters but he's so fun about it

there's no malice it's just funny as hell he was shitting on me I was nervous and he was like look how scared he is and everyone was laughing at me and i was like yeah i'm fucking nervous this isn't and i was like this isn't helping but i was cracking up like later that night but uh yeah colin quinn and keith would make fun of me but that was like the best feeling because you're like oh they're like accept this is how they like accept you they're paying attention yeah so that was like a cool feeling when you're young but then uh i miss patrice and bill burr and like you know uh oh norton would a little bit but jim isn't really

like shit on the young guys he wasn't like that really yeah but all those like uh yeah i mean like a little bit but it was like it was only if if you really took a misstep, you know? They would keep you honest. They're so... Like regulators about that stuff? Yeah, if you say something pretentious or all, like they would just... I remember I went into the cellar once and I had just seen 12 Years a Slave. And I was like, man, it was excellent.

And Keith Robinson goes, excellent? Fuck you. And I was just like, yeah yeah that's not the right word they would just like beat up on you if you had like the wrong word choice it's the right word depending on the the environment I guess maybe if you're A.O. Scott not if you're me yeah although that's also a weird way to describe it

yeah it's weird and uh but yeah they were just funny man like I missed out the real like hack court they used to do like hack court where they would like take your bit and break down if it's hack or not. Like, is he a hack? Yeah. Like that.

We missed that. But like, you know, I think they were even doing like late night at comic show. We were like meaner to each other, but it wasn't like ever. I never left like they hate me. I left more like got to be funnier. You know, you wrote that one article that I really enjoyed. It was years ago, but it was about which comics not to be or something like that that was sean donnelly right and sean donnelly and me yeah well it was you nailed it though you were so on the money we caught some shit for that some people

were annoyed with us yeah we were because they thought you you were calling them out specifically yeah but we both said in the article we're not saying we're not this we're saying these are the comics that kind of exist and we're just making fun of them and like, I was like, damn, I'm a little bit of this one. We'd say that, I think, in the article.

I don't know if they put that in there, but we were, yeah, there were all the different types of comedians and I forgot who, was it Vulture or something? I forgot who wrote it.

Yeah, it got like pushed around a lot. I saw it in a bunch of places, but the Patrice one really resonated with me. What was that guy who likes Patrice for the wrong reasons yeah like thinks he can be patrice and doesn't realize that patrice is kind of anomalous that way like tries to live patrice's philosophy in his own life basically it's like i always say this and it's not just comedy it's everything

it's movies it's like know the rules before you try to break all the rules right so when you see someone who's just like misogynistic and you're like well patrice would say this about women i'm like yeah patrice was really good yeah i would say it's like uh they're trying to do like black belt moves but they're a white belt yeah you just have to they didn't get what made the person good it wasn't misogyny is not what makes a comic funny i mean if if anything like patrice was in was funny in spite of this shit. You know? So I think people that just think something is cool for the wrong reason. Like, oh, you.

Well, Patrice was so funny that I feel like so many people would like him. And it felt earned with him. It felt earned through life experience. But also, it probably held him back in a lot of ways. And that's part of the romance. And all the people that are. What bugs me about the Patrice fans is the people who are like, he's the, he's the best.

I'm like, well, where the fuck were you when he was alive? You weren't buying tickets on the road to see him. So many of these like fake fans are like, this is my favorite comic ever. I'm like, show me a ticket stub where you supported him because he wasn't selling like

he should have been. And it's like, and then when someone dies, it becomes so easy to kind of totally do the hagiography and be like they were the greatest ever because there's nothing and he was one of the greatest ever but but it just kind of bugs me the you know the hindsight you know for sure go ahead go baby i just want to ask about because you're so prolific like how many specials do you have i've done i don't know actually i did a half hour which was an album that was one i did

positive influence i got this i did the rooftop one and then i did the uh the most recent one on netflix which is uh same time tomorrow so i guess five five yeah because especially like during the pandemic you just kept going i was so unhappy i mean that's a good motivator but i could feel your compulsion in it i was like this guy has to be on stage he has to be telling jokes it's really a sickness like i was literally i'm like i'm going where pigeons go for attention i'm going to parks and roofs this is so sick i think it's awesome i i was uh i was really unhappy uh and that's a great motivator happiness is a great way to take your foot off the gas and I'm not saying you should like

but anytime I find myself being happy I'm like holy shit I gotta get back to you're wary of it I love stand up so much and I get probably too much of my fulfillment comes from a new joke so

people would say it's unhealthy but like I mean it keeps me feeling pretty good usually and is that before you deliver the joke like is it when you after you wrote it and you feel like you've cracked it or do you have to take it out to people first to really get that I don't know I cracked it if I haven't tried it yet you know I it's like that's the weird thing about comedy is you're like is this good but uh yeah I had one hit the other night, and it was a really good. I felt like a cold streak, and I said this to my friend in conversation. I was like, is this a funny thing?

I have a friend, Chase, who's a non-comic, so I run all my new ideas by him. Smart. He's not a comic, but he's a snobby listener. So he'll be like, is this funny or not? And I ran up by him and he was like, that's funny. And I was like,

okay, he thinks it's funny. So that's rare. So let me. It's nice to have those friends too because sometimes I think when you run into a comic, they have such a defined point of view on it

that they try to make it their own style of joke. Yeah, I think that's the hard thing. People run bits by me sometimes and I have to like, Mark Norman's one of the few people that I can be like, I've known him for so long. yeah i think that's the hard thing people run bits by me sometimes and i i have to like mark norman's one of the few people that i can be like i've known him for so long so we were like open micers together so i i know mark's style so well we we've been right we were like writing together

when we were kids so it was like we'd be in coffee shops like is this something i just know his voice so well and then you know guys like joe list or like comics that i started with i just kind of know what they're doing so that's easy for me but sometimes people will be more character based on stage and i don't know how to help you know i've had like really good comedians who i just can't really help so like all time who do you think would be your favorite comic to write for to write i could i mean i couldn't really i don't know if i could write for anyone, but I could help with like, you know, Mark or Joe List or.

Dangerfield? I don't know if I could. Yeah, I could probably figure that out. Yeah. I feel like that'd be a good fit. When I think of, I like observational comics too.

I love Dangerfield. I would probably like to write for like, I mean, I wouldn't be, I wouldn't be much use with Dave Attell, but I love. He's your hero, right? Well, he's with Dave Attell, but I love him. He's your hero, right? Well, he's just so nice to me when I was a young comic and so helpful, and he's so good.

And the most purely funny person I think I've ever listened to. I've never been around a funnier comic in my life, and funnier person. And he's a good person. And his brain's fucking insane. He thinks in ridiculous poetry, but it's always about, like, gross stuff. But there's so much imagination in it. He can do clean shit when he wants to, so he'll do clean jokes.

I mean, he is the best at comedy. Yeah, his first HBO half hour has a lot of clean jokes. Like, he talks about cleaning his ears with Q-tips and then picking up the phone and almost killing himself, and I'm like, dude, like, it's brilliant. And there's nothing, you could play that for anybody. Yeah, I love him. I love, I mean, of my peers, those are two guys,

Gary Veeder, who tours me a lot. I love how he writes jokes. They're just like, he's like a, he's almost like, put him in a fucking suit in the 50s and these jokes will be killing, you know? So I love that. And yeah, no, I have so many friends like that who I'm like, these are the types of jokes I like.

Do you think that, because you came up with Joe and Mark, do you think that you guys shaped each other's style? Well, Joe's been doing it longer than us. Joe will blame alcoholism for putting him in our class. Yeah, yeah. He's like, I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be here. I mean, no.

Yeah, he was an alcoholic for sure. Puts him in good company with comedians. Yeah, no. I don't know if we shaped each other but we push you push each other when you're i always tell young comics like surround yourself with comics who are you think are fun to hang out with and funny and who work really hard because uh you know if you're not around people that are like mark was a psycho with just doing stuff to his own fault like mark would be doing some open micro in like south

carolina's podcast and i'd be like you can maybe say no to this one yeah and then i'm getting hit up by some open micro like mark norman's been on it and i'm like fucking prick now i'm expected to every dumb thing right yeah um that was us this week we feel that with each other too there's that healthy competition where it like just raises your standard a little bit yeah and that's the thing is like you want your friends to succeed so it's not like real competition it's uh but it's a thing where you're like well he's got a new hour i should probably come around you want people around here to make you better this is the standard i think and uh yeah no you have your friends that that are pushing it and he was mark and joe were always

very different styles of how they work. Like Joe would take more time off, but he'd come back with all this new material. Mark would never take a day off. And he would have his material. I mean, they both wrote a ton. It was just different styles. Do you write every day? Dude, I wish I was better.

I used to be so much better. I do something every day. I'll come up with, try to do topical, I wish I was better. I used to be so much better. I do something every day. Like, I'll come up with, try to do topical jokes, or I'll do, but, like, jokes that actually make my act are, yeah, here. It seems so, like, word precise. But is that, are you able to just write on stage? No. I mean, sometimes, if it's a longer bit, I have to, I can't just write out, like, a story. So, I mean, I'll write out beats, and I'll know where it's like a if it's a longer bit i have to i can't just write out like a story so i mean i'll write

out beats and i'll know where it's ending up but if it's uh no i like uh shorter jokes i have to write out for sure but i uh no i i was reading off my notes sometimes at the cellar i forget that i can take it's so ingrained in you to kill but i'm like i've earned that i can fuck around a little here and also when i'm fucking around i'm almost doing better sometimes the looser i am the better i'm doing right and uh i just took out my notepad the other day and started fucking around at the cellar and it was and it was a lot of them were hitting a few would miss and when they'd miss you'd kind of riff on it and that would save it and then uh you feel so much better i i get in that dangerous mode when i have a new hour that's not like there but working

you get stuck to it i don't want to say i take my foot off the gas but i almost like start running that material into the ground and then it loses that spontaneity when you're in front of a crowd they can feel that it's a bit rehearsed absolutely yeah and you have to find ways to make it fresh so like i would see like you know someone like david tell he would like do a different punch line on a joke that worked but he would just be bored with it. I've heard that so many times. Like Maren and Burr have both talked about how he'll almost ruin a good bit because he has that relentless craft to him where he has to be constantly reshaping.

Well, it's keeping it... I learned this from Dave, too, is he would be so bored, I think, with just the jokes at work that he would bring whoever was hosting on stage and riff with them. And I think he would find jokes that way. So I started liking to do that. I started like, oh, Dave does this. What we do is like, why is New York comedy so good? It's because of the culture and because of guys like Dave Attell

and Colin Quinn who are always writing new jokes. So, you know, you talk about Mark or Joe or myself, we'd be like, oh, this is what you do. You write all the time and how lucky is New York that Colin Quinn and David Teller are like the guys and they both seem so pure of heart. They're accessible they're like you know if I had a

I remember I got in trouble like 10 years ago over a rape joke I made this blogger was writing these hit pieces on me and got picked up on all these websites. Was that the same blogger who like took down, nevermind, keep going. Well, it was just, yeah, it was coming at me for a long time. And these pieces and I remember being like, here's my response.

And I asked Colin if I could send it to him and he like read it and was like, I love this. I would take this line out. I like this. And you're like, holy shit. Like I get to ask like, you know, Colin Quinn. I was a kid at the time. It's probably like, you know, I was in my mid-20s. So it was kind of like pretty cool to have that access to Colin Quinn's mind. Yeah, some of that gravity to like be paying attention to you. And just his sanity. Like the thing about Colin is he's so funny, but he's also just,

his opinions are so rational and right. And he articulates it in a way where you're like, I wouldn't have thought to put it in such a clear, he's so good at not just comedy, but at thinking. So you're like, oh shit, that's how I feel, but I didn't think to articulate it that way. And yeah, no, I mean, you take after what the culture is. It's like a sport.

It's like, is the veteran in the locker room, do they have good work ethic? Is it Adonis Haslam? Is it the guy who sets the tone, who's been there? Or is it some dude who's like checked out? Yeah, I don't think LA is as accessible. I think that's the problem. Here's the difference between New York and LA.

No one's ever touched on this. But in comedy, at the Comedy Cellar, we're all closer than you guys are out here because we hang out at the table and we have dinner together because we're doing multiple sets at the cellar usually. So it's like, well, we'll have dinner in between the sets. So I'm meeting young comics. I'm meeting the veterans, everyone.

And here you're kind of like, I have my spot and then I'm leaving. Yeah. So it's just not the same camaraderie out here. It's the car isolation. Where I feel it too i mean because i'm i'll go to i'll go to a set and i'm just like beeline out the door because in new york you can just hang and it's also too you drink more in new york probably because you guys are driving yeah you drink more and uh every time i go to new york i can feel it where it's

just and people stay up late they hang hang out with each other in LA. And I'm kinda like introverted and like a little antisocial, so I'm just, that's like my comfort zone, just straight into the car. Yeah, I think a lot of people assume comics are gonna all be extroverted. I bet when you meet fans, they're probably like, oh, okay, right?

They expect you to be like on. Yeah, you know, I was very self-conscious about that at first because i thought i'd be like i'll be like oh what's up dude you know what i mean um but now i'm much more comfortable with it where it's just you're like really polite and nice and then i think they respect that so yeah i think you know la you gotta do dinner at some of these clubs because that's the problem is like dinner is like where you kind of bond with people in new york new york is also uh i don't really go anywhere but the cellar anymore because i'm just lazy i tour so much that i'm just kind of like i live near the cellar i'll go up at the comedy cellar but uh i'll do a couple sets there at night usually so i will hang out with

and i like seeing whoever's new there i like yeah mean, I liked that when I was a new comic, guys like Colin or Keith were like, oh, who's this guy? Yeah. And they kind of test you a little bit to see how you can hang and like,

if you're cool. And I like, you know, I don't really, it's not my style to really like, kind of grab people and ball bust them, but I do like to like, watch someone's set or,

you know. Right. Yeah, yeah. See what's up, you know. Absolutely. I like being on the road and seeing your guys' video. see like in a lot of clubs i'd be like your guys video and it would always make me laugh like the pranks you guys were doing you know it was always it was

always like i'd be with gary veder and we'd be like these dudes are fucking funny oh it was cool yeah it was nice dude one of the things i really appreciate about you, I think I'm drunk now. Good. I think this fucked me up. Yeah, I'm on an empty stomach, too, so this will hit me easy. Are you driving? No, God, no. I'm driving. Yeah?

Yeah, but I live close. Good. I got to go to Venice. Oh, I'm going. I might be going. I don't know the geography, but I might hitch a ride with one of you. Yeah. Do you have a show after this?

No, I'm done. I'm done. Yeah, what are you doing in LA? Just hanging. I'm doing the Will Turn, so I'm there. Dude. Nice, dude. That. I'm done. Yeah, what are you doing in LA? Just hanging. I'm doing the Wiltern. Dude. Nice, dude. That's got to be sick as fuck.

You're doing a theater? It's nice, yeah. It'll be good. I'm doing that, San Diego. I'm doing San Diego Thursday, Wiltern Friday, and then I'm doing SAC and SF. Oh, cool. What are you doing in SAC and SF?

SAC is the Crest, and SF is the Sidney Goldstein, I believe. So you're doing all theaters now. Yeah. Dude, that must feel incredible, right? It feels good. Yeah, I really like it. But it's weird for me because I'm used to the repetition. So sometimes I'll be like, I'll do 12 days straight.

And then my agent's like, you're off for two weeks. And I'm like, uh. Like, I'm panicking. I'm like, what do I do? I don't know. It's hard. So now it it's all big shows but they're spaced out a bit i feel more comedian than i am human sometimes and i'm like when they're like oh you have all this free time i'm like oh fuck like i i kind of don't know what to do with myself so uh yeah the 12 days my agent would be like look we're hitting like every there's only so many cities you can hit. You can't work 365 days a year.

Yeah. But then I. You have that reputation too, right? For like being on the road the most of like your contemporaries. I like the road. I've done this since I was so young that I kind of, now the conditions are so nice. I'm kind of like, you know. Just take advantage.

Yeah. Kind of like, well, I'm, you know, a nicer. I was the last, like, I remember my agent was at my show i remember uh we did i did the letterman thing here that was on netflix and i and uh he was like you need to start staying in nice hotels you're on the road every week he's like you need to stop staying in shitholes you got genuine advice during a live like recording yeah he was like no he was like, no, no, he was saying this, like, after my, after my,

no, Letterman didn't say that. My agent said that. He was like, you need to start staying in a nice hotel. I had, like, a joke about, like, a La Quinta, you know?

And he was like, you need to start, no disrespect to the La Quinta people. But he was like, you need to start. That one comes up a lot because where Biglia talks about that. Well, it's a funny name.

La Quinta sounds, K sounds always funny. But he uh yeah he was like please start staying like you're killing yourself and you need to start staying nice hotel so like this is the first run uh we're kind of doing it up all right so it seems like you have like kind of like a restless creative energy what did you do with that before you got into stand-up like well i've been doing stand-up since i was 18 so uh you know i was in college and then i you know was doing this basically and so were you telling your homies i'm gonna be a stand-up when you were

like in high school yeah whoa how did you know so early that that was the path for you we did a thing at my high school where it was like create it was community service followed by a presentation and i and i love stand-up so i was like i'm gonna do um a presentation as a stand-up performance so i just did it as stand-up for the whole school and it killed and i was like i'm fucking on the fast track you came out of the gates yeah no there i did because everyone was like i want him to succeed but then i started doing open mics as a child and i was horrible i was so good you had no life experience to no i had No, I had nothing to talk about. I was a kid. What were you gonna bring to the table?

Like my mom fucked up dinner last night? Yeah, I remember the jokes. And they were like, I look back, I'm like, well that's like well worded, but it's not, who gives a shit? So it takes, that's why I know standups really, Eddie Murphy's like the, and Chappelle are like the two only ones that were really funny out of the gate.

I knew I'd write a joke, I just wasn't good yet. Right. But I do think there's something to being like getting to it that early where it does pay off in the long run. I'm comfortable on stage because of that probably, but I was doing so many hell gigs on the road that I started to become a hack. Like that's the problem.

Yeah. So you got on the road at 23. Like, did you just start booking them yourself? Like how did you get on the road so early? a festival in atlanta called laughing skull which is a big deal in the comedy world yeah well it was it was the prize was the best prize of any comedy fest where it wasn't the money was like whatever it wasn't like a crazy amount of money but it was uh the prize was like we will get you booked at clubs for a year on the run so sometimes I was featuring if it was like an A room sometimes

I was headlining if it was like a B room or C room which I preferred honestly because I would rather be the show I'd rather be my show even if I was in the bad venue as opposed to being the opener in a good venue but you know you got to meet I remember I opened for Marc Maron

when I was like really young and you know I was like meet cool i remember i opened for mark maron uh when i was like really young and i and you know i was like wow holy shit it's mark fucking maron that guy this is before he was huge too he was playing clubs you know his albums like before he broke are fantastic yeah no i think he knew i respected him a lot and it was like uh an interesting energy i think he was so frustrated with just the bit. I mean, we opened at a club called Worcester Tee Feathers. Oh, San Jose. Yeah.

Dude, that was the first place I went to see stand-up live because I went to college around there. It was just local comics. I saw Chappelle in Oakland after that. That was cool. Yeah, I mean, he was nice to me. I mean, it was encouraging. But, you know, you open for people early on and they're encouraging. Like Jim Jeffries he was nice to me I mean it was it was encouraging but you know uh you open for

people early on and they're encouraging like Jim Jeffries was really nice to me when I was a young comic and then he would like use me when he'd come to New York and he would like you know it'd be a bigger venue each time and I was like oh shit Jim Jeffries like my parents came to see me open for Jim Jeffries and I guess then it was called the Best Buy Theater and it was a huge venue so they were like this guy wants Sam like that was to them being like oh wow this guy is validating our son but uh you know he almost came to Thanksgiving dinner one year which was really he was too hungover he couldn't make it but uh uh yeah but it was uh so were your parents encouraging of like your artistic incations? I'm the youngest, so I'm my mom's only biological son, so she was more worried than my dad.

My dad had two lawyers ahead of me, so he was like, I'm playing with house money, I'm fine. But I think my mom was kind of like, please, you're the one I brought to the table, but don't fuck this up for me on some level. So yeah, I think she was worried. I mean, I still hear it from her, like you'll never find a wife if you're on the road all this time.

And I'm just like, whatever. Dude, I got to tell you, when I told people you were going to be on this, my lady friends were psyched. Really? Yeah. Oh, thanks. They wanted me to tell you their names. So you keep an eye out for them. Talia Likshin.

Of course it's a jew that's i get but you know uh it is it's it's with my mom she was very worried i think um so that was i had a similar a lot of fear i'm the fifth child wow so my dad had a lot of house money like all everyone's but my mom's an artist. She's an artist. Mine too. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, so my mom was like, I know the art world. I know. Like, don't do it. I know. But now she's, like, super supportive.

But I think she was rightfully weird. My dad was, which was interesting for my dad, because he's, like, he's so education-oriented and, like, you know, go get a secure job. But with me, he's like, yeah, fuck it. I think my dad saw the weird shit that encouraged him was like, the New York Times wrote about you. And I'd be like, yeah, they said it was bad.

And he'd be like, but it's the Times. That's huge. I know. So I think he would see, you know, you get taste. Like, you do your first late night set, and they're like, oh, that's something. And then you do another thing, and they're like, that's something. And then you do another thing and they're like, that's something.

And then at a certain point, you're like, I sold out this place. And my parents are like, wow, that many people paid to see it. So I think they, when you try, my dad is a lawyer.

So I would explain to him like, you know, well, this many people came to see me and he'd be like, well, they were impressed at a certain point. You know, at a certain point,

things were going well. I'd be like, you know, I'd be opening for Amy Schumer in arenas and they'd be like she wants you and i'd send them pictures just so they understood the gravity of where i was performing yeah so i think at a certain point yeah i think it was it's interesting it's like okay they could have had another lawyer or they could have someone who's doing something a little different but you know worst case like i told them i was like worst case i think i'll make a decent living at this. Do you feel chill about it now that you're doing theaters

and that you're kind of, like, that you're not kind of very established? Or do you feel like still like an existential fear that? I feel pretty good. I'm pretty happy and I'm pretty, I'm pretty at peace with everything. I will always feel that fear that, you know, just a creative fear where I'm like, is with everything. I will always feel that fear, just a creative fear where I'm like,

is this going to stop? Will I have premises to make fun of? But I think, I don't think being content means you can't create. I think that was a fear I had for a long time. I think even if I'm happy, I'm super irritable. And I try to remind myself, I'm like, well, Jerry jerry seinfeld still writes jokes things are going all right for him uh so is that irritability good like is that part of the creative like energy i think if you're the dalai lama and you're

completely at peace and you're just chill yeah it's not it's harder to be funny i'm wary of that guy because he was minted from birth right like they picked him as the dalai lama yeah he didn't even have to do it i think they they put baby i think i think you're llama for life i think yeah that's your born holiness just llama for life and it's like they audition you as a baby and if you pass through their like uh audition process that's it like you have cosmic consciousness And he's in the news right now for asking a kid to suck his tongue. Which now the angle is like,

that's a joke that they make. And you're like, not a good joke. Yeah, yeah. Just some advice from a comic. Don't ask a child to suck on your tongue. We're just filming each other

too much, though. The llama shouldn't be under constant evaluation. Yeah, but also, you shouldn't ask that to a kid not on camera, too. No, I'm not supporting it. If that's my kid, I'd be like, I'm gonna

kick the fucking llama's ass. Dude, that'd be badass. He threw hands at the llama. Well, maybe the llama got so sick of just meeting people and being his holiness, he wanted to fuck around. Yeah, you gotta spice it up. And now you don't have to talk to kids anymore. Dude, yeah. Yeah, maybe he hates kids. I travel too much to like kids. I just see

them at their worst too often. Right. Yeah, airports. My nephews and my niece are cute, but even my niece can be a bit much sometimes. Are you able to relate to them? Because I have my nieces and nephews. I can't even. It's tough. What's up?

My sister's a very good mother, so I think I see how she handles them. It's tough. Yeah, I'm so removed from that. I feel like I've lived two lives. She handles them. It's tough. I'm so removed from that. I feel like I've lived two lives. This comedy thing is like another life. I'm not what I was at all.

How do you mean? It's just a different... I lived in New York City. I grew up in New York City. And now I'm just like, I'm never home. I still keep in touch with a lot of people I grew up with. Don't you ever feel like comedy is like another? Seinfeld always talks about that, how it's like,

whatever many years you've been doing comedy, that's really how old you are. I do feel that, more comic than human. All I do is work, really. So I'm always on the road, and I'm always... I think you very much embody that. I think you are like the comics comic.

Oh, thanks, man. I also just feel like I'm not home that much. So when I'm home, it's like a gift. When I'm home, you know. You appreciate it. Yeah, I love it. I love New York so much. So it's like being home, go to a Rangers or a Knicks game.

I'll go to a strip house. I'll go to a steakhouse in New York. I'll go to. What's your favorite steakhouse in New York? I like strip house the best. Oh, strip house is the place. I thought that was like i like kings for all steaks i like kings is peter luger's like off the map now i like it but it's just like they're phoning it in a little bit i think because they're living off reputation yeah that's like my family's favorite place my dad

always wants to go there it's the name it's like i think people because my grandpa went there and stuff and my grandpa had like one of the cards he It was a big deal. That's pretty badass. It was cool. But I just like, look, they're still classic. I still like, I remember seeing Henry Kissinger there. I'm like, that's who you want to see. I just read his book. That's who you want to see. Was it good?

It was. You get a little tired of it halfway through. That might just be me. But he's like who you want to see at a steakhouse. You want to see a fat old Republican. You're like, that dude appreciates a good steak. But yeah, no, Luger's is cool.

I think it's cool, but I just think Keen's looks cooler. What's the one where the hit took place out of? Sparks? Yeah. That's pretty cool.

That was always the selling point. I remember I was asking friends, I'm like, someone got killed there. I was like, that sounds good.

Strip House is the coolest vibe, I think. But Keen's is legendary, for sure. Keen's is like they did a billions episode i love that brian koppelman and david levine are like pure new yorkers so they do a scene like we have to do them ordering the mudden on billions so i was like i like that there's that luger's is the classic one but uh strip house is like red in there it looks

like a like a where like you call for a hit it's a badass vibe oh no strip and the steak is insane it's so good what's your cut of steak i do we do the tomahawk usually when we go so it comes out chopped up yeah yeah but i like a ribeye or a tomahawk what is the filet mignon is so overrated what are we doing here yeah when you're i think when you're younger you like that one more because you don't appreciate flavor yet but then as you get older your palate is a bit more what's fat so you think you're getting a deal or something but like i ribeye is where the flavors i like the fattiness what is the tomahawk the what moscow loves a good ribeye does he oh he's a big ribeye guy that guy yeah i like that guy man he's the best yeah no

steaks are important new york uh chinese food is important like when i'm home i want good sichuan chinese food that that spicy fish and chili sauce that gives you you don't shit right for two days but it's worth it it's that good what do you think about vegetarians i you know live your life whatever is good for you i don't i can't do it because i just like i like i can't do it either i respect it but there's no way i could do it yeah i mean i think like you want to sell me on like lack of inflammation. That's, fuck it. I'd rather be inflamed.

I want to eat well. I want to have steak I love, but that, to me, seafood is like my number one. I love eating like, you know, really good fish and like, I love every type of meat pretty much. Chicken, fish, you know, everything. So I can't do that shit. Going back to the, when you're a comic, you live a different life thing. I've found this when I see my friends from college

and stuff like that. It's like, do you feel like you're not able to, or experience, it's like you're living a different kind of life from most people. Like, when you meet people who have regular jobs, it's like they're like, oh, Coachella's coming up. I'm going to Coachella. The weekend's coming up. It's like you're living a different kind of life from most people. Like when you meet people who have regular jobs, it's like they're like, oh, Coachella's coming up. I'm going to Coachella. The weekend's coming up. It's awful.

You know what I mean? If you want to talk to me about Coachella or something, instead just fucking kill yourself. I'm so maddened by people that think I want to hear about their trip to fucking Burning Man or Coachella. Right, right, right. Fuck off. It's like that is mental illness to me. Yeah. It's like that kind of schedule seems illness to me yeah it's like that that

kind of schedule you think you think i think this is it that you saw a band play you think that's a fucking story it's insanity is it because it feels so programmed by like culture that they're not even choosing it possibly yeah i think that's part of it but also it's just terrible like you're torturing me right now with your story i hate it it makes me upset what's the kind of story you would like i've had women a story that has any originality to it right you made a choice a beginning a middle and an end not just like i saw a band play and i was in the mud okay i don't give a fuck i you're crazy why why would you say that out loud go do it great right but like so is dating tough because you must be hearing a lot of those stories yeah Yeah, it would be tough to hear some of those.

Like when you go out with someone. I remember I had a woman say, like, I went to Burning Man. I said, I don't want to hear about it. And she said, okay. She just bailed on it. I was like, okay. God bless you for your honesty. I can't do it.

I'm paying for the fucking drinks. I should be able to change the channel every once in a while. You can choose the conversation. Let's go back to TNT. So do you think in relationships and stuff because i feel like a lot of times girls or women what they want you to they want to adhere to that kind of lifestyle and do you find it's difficult as a comic i won't do that stuff i i can't i travel too much that if you were going to travel we're going somewhere good right if you want to just travel to a shitty festival where i'm going to be dirty and don't

get the shower and i have to wait for a shuttle or something no i perform to these things i don't like going there for money you think i'm going to go there for fucking leisure no way i but i will go if a woman's like if i meet someone cool enough to go on vacation with and they're not going to torture me i have fear based and it's based on my choice in women going on vacation with these women because they're torturing me here at home right it goes bad every time exactly they're torturing me in my apartment yeah i can take a walk in my apartment you think i want to go to a fucking resort no you're stuck together exactly i've been in hotel rooms with girlfriends i've been like you're an alien what am I doing here with you? I went on a vacation with, I had a girl convince me to go on a vacation

and we went and she picked a fight with me over a movie we saw. And I said during the movie, do you want to walk out? And she goes, no, you'll just finish it without me at a later date. And I said, oh, is that not allowed? Am I not allowed to finish?

Sometimes they just want to, they don't want you to fix the problem They just want a little I offered to leave And she didn't want to leave I said okay And then we finished it And she really hated the movie

What movie was it? I don't want to even say Because my friend is in it No what movie is it? Come on Red Rocket That was a great movie I know

That was a great movie Sean Baker That guy's a beast bro Nah you gotta cut that chick man She doesn't get it Well it's over I love shit like that Where it's one actor and then all real life people yeah beautiful yeah I'm laughing think picturing you at

Coachella in full really awful I remember going I done I've done like Bonnaroo I've done outside lanes but I went there to perform I went there to do sets and you know not my thing is that part of it though, that it's hard to, when you're a performer to go to something where someone else is, I mean, if it's, if it's a concert I like, I'm fucking in.

But a lot of them, I was like, this is like some top 40 horse shit. I remember going to, uh, outside lands that who played. That was pretty cool. That's amazing.

Yeah. That was pretty great. Yeah. And if it's a class, those guys are alive too. Three out of four or something like that. So yeah, I, I, that was pretty great yeah if it's a classic those guys are alive too three out of four or something i think so yeah i i that was awesome um no i i'm into it but i also like if it's my night off and i want to see something live instead of entertainment i i my gut is like

i want to go see live sports i want to see uh the knicks or the rangers uh i'm lazy so like giants and jets are kind of out of the picture yankees game is a little far sure but now that they cut down the you know the pitch count thing i'm like i could see that's incredible that's like one of the biggest innovations in baseball history i think it's excellent i and i yeah i still i love baseball have you seen otani how he like memorized his uh little uh internal beeper is that your team the angels you know i don't have a team with baseball i did go when i grew up in orange county so i went to the angels world series when they beat the uh the giants and that was incredible it was such like a wonderful thing to take in but now i don't really have a team

i kind of float around park and sf that's a beautiful park i like something so american about baseball that i just like i know this generation doesn't get it as much but like i still love baseball i saw barry bond's 68th homer at that park that was sick dude man dude when he was just banging homers it was like you're just gonna see a dude in a kayak chasing the ball and there was something so fucking exciting about it candlestick was a sick park too that was one beautiful dude yeah i love baseball parks i love yeah there's something very american about it yeah i love doing very american activities the hot dog the whole routine i love it is the best i love baseball i love nicks are my favorite one to go to but i really have gotten

into hockey this year because gary veteror who i tour with is such a big hockey fan that i was kind of like yeah fuck it the rangers are really good i've always liked the rangers i've always heard for the rangers but like i've gotten way more into it this year and i'm like man it's fun it's my favorite sports play i played are you a hockey player i played for two years i was really good skater because i have good hand-eye coordination or balance whatever but whenever i get the puck i just get housed but i love that shit hockey's fun yeah but it's yeah to your knicks you guys are one one right now with cleveland yeah when does this come out it'll come out wednesday yeah hopefully they keep winning shit yeah how do you see that series going oh jeez i'm nervous i they they they have a stacked

team they're stacked and they just akoro couldn't hit a fucking shot, and now they subbed in Levert, who was on fire. And I'm like, man, if he keeps, that being said, the Knicks were ice cold. I think we could still win it, and I love this team with all my heart. I met Jalen Brunson at a Rangers game. He's a beast, man.

I fucking sucked when I met him. I was off, because I never get, it's funny, I never, I did Giannis Antetokounmpo's charity, and I'd chat with Giannis, and I was cool as fuck. I was like off. Because I never get, it's funny, I never, I did Giannis on the Kinnikumbo's charity. And I'd chat with Giannis and I was cool as fuck. I was like on my game. He's not a knickerbocker. But I met, I met Jalen and I sucked.

I was just off my game. And I was with Liz, who is the manager at the Cellar. And she had to like step in. And she was like, he's a comedian with a Netflix special. And Jalen was like, oh shit, cool. He was like really, but I was like, man, I'm burying myself so hard that she had to step in. It sucked. What do you think about Dolan?

I mean, people shit on him so much. But he like, here's what I look at. Look at the last 10 years. I was praising the Phil Jackson hire. Yeah, I thought that was good, too. I thought it was great. And everyone's like, shit, I'm like, we hired Phil Jackson. I'm like, greatest coach ever.

The greatest coach ever. I think the was great and everyone's like, shit, I'm like, we hired Phil Jackson, my greatest coach ever. The greatest coach ever. I think the Isaiah years were bleak, no doubt, but like he has hired Leon Rose who's cleaned it the fuck up and I thought Jackson

would clean it the fuck up. So I think in my mind he was hiring the right people and it just wasn't working. Do you think he gets a little bit of a raw deal? Because he's kind of an easy punching bag.

Yeah, I do think so, yeah. That's nice. I haven't heard that take And I also, he also gives me free tickets to games so i love him have you listened to the music yeah i like better find a church i like uh i like that he's uh i i like that too i like that he's a billionaire but he's like i gotta express myself and he's at the games and he's watching i i like

i like him for uh hiring leon rose and i like i think the rose's. What's Leon Rose's deal? He's very connected, right? He was CAA. Right. I like what he's done the last... Dude, they got a squad now. Randall's good. And I say the Mellow deal,

they shouldn't have given up that much for Mellow, but you know what? That changed UK that year. The Nuggets were loaded. But you know, the Knicks shouldn't have traded for Melo. We should have waited for him to be a free agent because he was coming here anyway. You know what the biggest mistake was?

After you guys signed Amari, and he was going crazy for that first half of the year, you guys should have amnestied him, but you amnestied somebody else. We amnestied Chauncey Billups. Right. Chauncey was a beast back then. I loved him.

Not at that point. But he was actually still very good with us, but then he got injured after that. But he was just clutch as fuck. I love, are you a big NBA guy too or no? Not really. But I'm enjoying the conversation. I love basketball on a, it's like a sick level how much I like it.

I love going to games. I love rooting for the Knicks. And NBA playoffs are like, even when the Knicks aren't in, I'm all in. There's something about it. This is the best team you guys have had in a while. Sports are like, that's like my escape. When people are like, it's not important, I'm like, okay, well, it brings people together, and it's an escape. So is an escape not important?

I argue that. So I love watching the NBA, and I love all sports, but NBA is like really. And I think you could argue sports is, like if you look at Jackie Robinson, Muhammad Ali, like you can.

So important. What was his name? Tommy Charles, and the dudes at the Olympics who raised a fist. Yeah, that shit. A lot of iconic moments. I don't know how much universal impact they had but they're we remember them like i get educated

on them as i love it i i think it's the best and it's like dude the nba is essentially the wwe right now we're like the amount of drama and the personality is incredible it's phenomenal it's like i've i've i feel like i've gotten so many people into the NBA, which I'm proud of. I've gotten people. I should be a fucking ambassador for it. I love it. It sounds interesting to me now.

I'm going on Sunday, SAC versus Golden State game four because I'm playing SF that night. Oh, nice. I was a SAC fan as a kid. They're fucking amazing right now. I was a fan of the Peja, Vlade. Who wasn't? Mike Bibby team.

I mean, that's when I watched it. Chris Webber. That's when I watched it as a kid. We had Mike Bibby on my sports podcast with Julian Edelman. That's incredible. You were doing a podcast with him. We had, and we also had Hasan Minhaj come on

because we became friends over basketball. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's where your friendships are made over this shit. But Hasan, before I knew knew him just came up to me at gotham one night was like i heard you're a big knicks fan i said i'm a really big knicks fan and he was like i'm the biggest i'm as big a kings fan as you're a knicks fan i said all right and we and we became friends that like right then and there and i told him i said i think we're doing a kings game would you want to come on he goes are you gonna get a king's player i said if we get webby or bibber webby or

uh weber or bibby i can't speak anymore would you come on he goes uh i would love those are my two guys so we got bibby and he was like he was he was it's funny seeing a successful comedian just become a child because there's so that's how I was like I used to have a Nick show and we would get all my favorite Nixon the night he's on and I would bug out yeah who's reviewing on we didn't he's the only one we didn't get you got Oakley though no but I did a commercial with him once that guy tells stories he was awesome we got along he it was um we did a commercial together and it never aired but it was foracher Report, and it was funny as hell.

I spent all day with him, and I remember being like, Charles, just so you know, I don't want to bug you with this shit, but the reason I love basketball is you, Mace, Starks, Ewan, and Harper. And he was like, thank you, man. Thank you. He took it in. Yeah, he was nice. And then he's not a good actor. Not that I'm he was nice and then he he's not a good actor

not that i'm johnny depp here but he's like not a good actor and we had a child actor in there who was just running circles around him and and he had too many lines like they gave him like hard lines i'm like this guy's a fucking athlete he's not an actor so the director was like you're doing great and charles you tell was like getting pissed with the director because he he's a competitor and he knew he knew he's doing badly so charles was like i said to him what if we have charles say just this one line and we have the kids i like rewrote it and he was like that works and charles like turned to me he's like thank you oh my you did him a solid i did him a solid well i was like i want to get out of here too you know and you wanted to help oakley up oh dude i have a picture of him

with like his arm around me and a cigar in his mouth and i'm like i treasure like the amount of games that i just like he he was just pure blood sweat and tears personified like he was he's a fighter by nature he was a dude that i had a lot of love for yeah before we move on to questions so lebron mj where do you land mj man i mean it's not close it's not close but lebron lebron is incredible phenomenal but he's just not as first off if we're just talking cool no one's taking lebron over mj what is that about mj like where he gets out of a car and you're like that's the greatest human being i've ever seen well he's definitely not the greatest human being he's like a degenerate gambler and a fucking and can't take a joke but he's cool i mean he's somehow

still cool i mean he i mean the fact that he's not friends with barkley over like some slights over barkley giving a fair criticism of him as an owner and he's like i can't be friends with you anymore i'm like well then you're not gonna have any real friends, bro. But MJ, just as a player, was cooler. Like, you walk off like this to just beating, to winning your third straight championship. Look, Jordan's competition wasn't as good as LeBron. There's no question. But LeBron, the way he fucking just skipped teams around, you just built super teams.

It's just not cool. But do you think in 200 years, if you can project out this far, like, when people forget about what the moments felt like, when they look at, like, the counting stats, they're going to go with LeBron over MJ? No, because the counting stats, fine. But, like, nah, Jordan's just, when you look at the footage, one of them is more of a killer than the other one.

Like, sure, LeBon's got the most points ever but like i don't think we judge the greatest do we judge the greatest greatest baseball player as uh you know babe ruth i don't think he's really in the conversation right now as great as he was i mean i guess bonds has more homers but you know what i mean like yeah who is the greatest baseball player ever i think bonds has got to be in that convo i know he cheated but holy shit yeah i agree i'm trying to think who number two is like willie mays yeah maybe i mean mickey mantel's an alcoholic and he put up those numbers you gotta you gotta give some points for alcoholism two at a time too dude he was so cool i used to have my birthday at mickey

mantel's every year in new york that was like, and my parents were like, this is garbage food. It was like trash food, but I was like a kid. I was like, it's me. Dude, I had a birthday at Walt Frazier's restaurant in New York one year. I was like so enamored by this dumb horse shit. But I love, Walt's my favorite New York athlete ever. Do you like his commentary? He's known for his colorful vocabulary, right?

When he dies, a part of me will die wall frazier is the coolest new york athlete ever he like makes up words right or just is very like just like phrase just phrases like he's wall frazier's he the happiness he fills me with i can't express it like when he misses a game i watch every game and when he misses a game i'm crushed i love him on like a on a on a sick fucking level i love him and if you don't know who walt frazier is and you're listening google walt frazier picks and you're his outfits alone you'll be like i'm obsessed with him it's like a cow pattern suit or like a bahama colored like he's the coolest player ever and he's like I've met him a few times. He's a incredibly kind man.

Let's go. On top of being the coolest, like that guy fucked on a level that's unprecedented in the 70s. Like genuinely fucked. Oh my God. Yeah. And he also,

he's nicknamed Clyde because he was that cool. It was like Bonnie and Clyde. Oh, and I'm doing Drexler. That is Drexler. I met him once too. He was really cool. So you've met all these athletes Clyde. Oh, now I'm doing Drexler. That is Drexler. I met him once, too. He was really cool.

Dude, you've met all these athletes. Well, I did an interview thing with Drexler once, and he was very cool. What's it like doing a pod with Edelman? It's great. I love him. He's, uh... Is it weird being bigger than him?

Well, I'm not bigger than him, but I'm taller than him. You're substantially taller than him. I'm taller than a lot of athletes. I'm 6'3", so, like, a lot of great athletes, especially wide receivers, you know? But he, uh... I mean, I've changed taller than him. You're substantially taller than him. I'm taller than a lot of athletes. I'm 6'3". So, like, a lot of great athletes, especially wide receivers, you know? But he, I mean, I've changed next to him.

I don't feel bigger than him. You know what I mean? He's a fucking tank. He's a massive dude. And maybe the greatest catch in NFL history. David Tyree. Oh, sorry, you're Giants. Giants, baby.

My bad, my bad. But Edelman's call after he catches, where he goes, I caught it. And the defenders are like, bullshit, bullshit. He's. Giants, baby. My bad, my bad. But Edelman's call after he catches, where he goes, I caught it. And the defenders are like, bullshit, bullshit. He's like, no, I caught it, I caught it. And he's also so cool. I will bring him out with me. And I'm just out drunk with him.

And we're just wasted. And he's like me drunk where he's just a good drunk. It's just nice to be out with. I'm out with him and I feel like I'm out with just one of my regular friends. Oh, that's awesome. Where he's so chill. And with, I'm out with him and I feel like I'm out with just one of my regular friends. Oh, that's awesome. Where he's so chill and I watch people take pictures with him and then afterwards you're like,

fuck you, go Giants. And he'll just laugh it off. He's so cool. And then, yeah, I brought him to the cellar a few times and we just walk in legless drunk. And I see Liz, the manager, just being like,

ugh, I gotta do it. Instead of excited that Julian Edelman there, she's like, I gotta deal with these two. Yeah, yeah. So, no, he's so fun. He's like, I love that he's like a cool Jew, too. I love that he's like a badass Jew. He's Jewish?

Yeah. Whoa. So I love that he just... I mean, Sean Green, Sammy Koufax. Yeah, dude. But the fact that he just will like, and the fact that he's just like and the fact that he's just so annoyed

like he's doing like pieces on anti-semitism I'm like fuck yes but yeah we'll roll like yeah we'll just roll into like an Israeli restaurant they're like

Julian Edelman you know so yeah he's the man so yeah I love working with him and he's uh he's fun he's just a fun guy big time game performer should we do some cues? yeah are you good at advice? And he's a fun guy.

Big time game performer. Should we do some cues? Yeah. Are you good at advice? I don't know. How nice. I mean, I'm drunk on a fucking Wednesday, right? Yeah, let's go. I don't know if I'm great at advice.

Dude, thank you for getting us drunk. I appreciate it. I like it. I got to fly tomorrow, though. I got to be up at the ass crack of dawn. Where are you going? We're doing DC. We're doing the draft house out there.

Oh, that's a good room. Yeah, we did it last year. It was really fun. And it's cool being in DC. You get to go around. You guys just both do stand-up, or is it like a podcast show? Yeah, we do separate sets. We do 30 minutes each, and then we do a Q&A after.

And you just switch off who goes first and second? Yeah. That's good. We paper-rock scissors at the beginning of every night. Sometimes we'll give it to each other, but most of the time we paper rock scissors yeah if like we have family coming or something like that then that guy will get the last slot are you were you guys tight before all this or no yeah i mean our relationship grew from working together but i mean at this point we spend almost every day together so he's my brother yeah that's fucking great it is nice um i'll wait

it's nice when you like who you work with i mean it's like everything but you have to be kind of That's fucking great. It is nice. It's nice when you like who you work with. I mean, that's like everything. You have to be kind of an asshole if you're working with someone and if they just really suck, I get it. But, like, man, I feel for those people. It happens all the time with duos, though. They don't get along. And, like, we'll have our moments, but for the most part,

it's, like, pretty beautiful. Yeah. It's nice. We got to go headphones for this oh yeah i'm on it all right you we want to all right let's i'll just read through there's uh four best movie theater ex-girls cousin stimulants dick warm beer party faux pas okay any. Any tickle your fancy. I mean, I'm down for any or all. Warm beer party faux pas? Yeah, let's do it.

Yo, what up, Chad and JT? Damn. So this subject is party faux pas. Oh, yeah. We have two buddies that are listeners named Noah and Nathan. They're bros, just like Chris and JT, so shout out to them.

They've done this since high school. They show up to a place that's going off or whatever. They don't put their beer in the fridge or in the cooler. It's just like, yeah, after we go through a round of cold beer, next thing you know, It's just like, yeah. And then, you know, after we go through a round of cold beer, next thing you know, it's just warm.

Nobody likes warm beer. Literally, name one person that would willingly drink warm drinks. Like, find a place, shuffle some things around, and put it in the goddamn fridge. So, yeah, that's a party for pop dude thank you for your question yeah

that's huge i can't even understand like the logic behind having warm beer it's awful i mean i'll do warm i drink a lot of seltzer and i like room temperature seltzer but beer is a whole nother thing you need it to be cold to enjoy it that's punishment in like fraternities and stuff to drink i mean to drink hot beer but you're close to hot beer by the way that's like a chill fraternity instead of like doing that's like as bad as it gets right i remember at when i was at two lane for like a minute they were like putting it was like a cnn story they were putting like like scalding hot water on kids and burning i was like you guys, you guys are fucking, like Jeffrey Dahmer. This is insane.

They sound awesome. How long did you go to Tulane for? I was a freshman for Katrina, so I left for a while, and then I went back just to be like, I should give it a shot, and it wasn't working for me. Did you just go to stand-up after that? No, I went to NYU in New York. Oh, you did? Okay.

And I didn't, it just didn't, the South just doesn't work. I love it to visit, but I can't, I'm just such a New Yorker. So I was, you know, I was handing out flyers and all that shit and doing standup. But yeah, warm beer is like, is horrible. By that point, you just, you should, you just like put water in the, are you doing beer pong or something with that or are you just drinking warm beer I don't know the only time I'll drink warm beer is if I'm hungover and I need hair of the dog

interesting I'd do Bloody Mary if I'm a hair of the dog I'm just talking about when it's like early in the morning you wake up early hungover and you just need alcohol do you always do hair of the dog yeah that's why I don't drink that much oh wow because it's kind of a problem i love i love a good bloody mary like if you make it properly and you get all the good fixings in that it's like a meal i love spicy dude yeah do

you think do you think your friends do it better or restaurants do better i feel like there's always a friend who has like the perfect style for it like there's always a friend who has the perfect style for it. Yeah, there's always a good friend. I do like it if you're at a good brunch-type place, and they put the cute kind of horseradish. I love horseradish in general. It's so good. It's like chewy taste buds where you're like, oh.

Jews have the weirdest taste buds where it's got to be pickled. It almost feels sophisticated and weathered, all our taste buds where it's like gotta be pickled it's like almost feels like sophisticated and like weathered all our taste buds jews where it's like horseradish and like pickled and like smoked it's all just like oh my god like your tongue has just been beaten up it's a little survivalist yeah you know bertolina the guy who runs this i love mike he makes the best fucking bloody marys really oh yeah he's a beast at it yeah he brought them to us on the golf course we went golfing are you guys golfers? Yeah. We can dabble.

Yeah, here and there. I can't golf. No? I feel like you'll get into it. I can see that in your future. I like basketball. Right. But my neck's fucked up, so every time I hoop, I'm just in horrible pain for days.

You've got to get on peptides, bro. What's that? BPC-157. I don't know what any of this is. I've been taking it. I wanted to just close it on the pod today. What is it? It's just for muscle recovery

But it's like an amino acid Like branch that You have to inject it though Please send it to me Oh is it gonna Is this like some Joe Rogan shit? It's close yeah I've heard him talk about it

I don't know if he's indulging But I've been doing it Damn I gotta I gotta get fixed My neck is killing me I think it will help But don't do it if you're listening

So yeah I guess For this beer guy Yeah fuck your friends Like get some get some fucking get some fucking real friends or get a bigger fridge or like i i can't imagine i just wouldn't i would just switch to hard liquor if you're i'm just not a huge beer guy myself but like i like hard liquor and i like wine and i like uh tequila and like whiskey and stuff but i uh but if I'm drinking beer, it better be fucking cold. Yeah, absolutely. 100.

All right. I like ex-girlfriend's cousin. Yeah? Yeah, I like a little complicated romantic pursuit. Yo, what up? Chad and JT. This is Liam from Huntington Beach.

Word up, 2714. What up, Liam? Fellas, got a little bit of a situation on my hands and would love the Archbishops of Stoke to help me out in these moral quandaries. Thanks for the name. Yeah, dude, so went out with some of my dogs in downtown Huntington and just absolutely guzzled some tequila and some Pacificos

and met a super pretty lady. And, dude, we just hit it off from the jump solid conversation um macked on the dance floor absolutely just boogied to akon dude it was just a fucking sick night uh yeah dude got her number and was like planning on taking her on a date and seeing where this thing goes but dudes after a little bit of a little bit of recon on the gram i actually uh found out she's uh my ex-girlfriend's cousin uh yeah dude so just wanted to ask you guys is this something like worth pursuing um you know don't think they're close or anything like that because i never really you know heard of her while i was dating my ex. But, yeah, man, I'm just kind of out of work in the road.

You know, not in the business of, you know, messing up with any family dynamic or anything. All right. Ex-girl's cousin, what do you think? Your cousin? No way, dude. Sister is fine, but cousin, who gives? I mean. I think it's a no-go, brother.

Really? Yeah. I don't know. There's so many fish in the sea how many but how many cousins i mean but if we're like who gives a shit i guess i see my cousins like once a year you know so i well so that's fair i guess to me it's like i love my cousins but like i just don't see him a ton i don't think it's like it wouldn't be a real issue i feel like if one of my exes fucked one of my cousins i'd be a little hurt i'm like you couldn't fuck another dude? You had to fuck my cousin?

I guess. I guess it matters more if they had met them prior, but it might be too sensitive. Yeah, it gives a shit. You'd be down with one of your... If any of my exes... Yeah, if they're fucking my cousin... No way, bro. I don't think any of my cousins are a threat.

I think... What if you had a stud cousin, though? I would say good for you. I don't think any of my cousins are a threat. What if you had a stud cousin? I would say good for you. I don't give a shit. That's a good attitude. I respect it. You're my cousin. All my cousins are pretty much married, by the way.

Except one, which I'm like, if she was fucking him, I'd be like, go for it. He's doing great. He deserves it. He's a good job. He's a good guy. Yeah, I think do it. And then if it becomes a thing then beg for forgiveness but venture in easier to ask for forgiveness i mean you can like kind of fuck

a cousin who gives a shit if like i would dude not now but there's moments in my life where i've been like yeah it's on but my cousin wasn't feeling it oh really but i would like a distant cousin no what wasn't like fdr andanor, weren't they like distant cousins? Bro, it's very recent. And actually, I was reading this book and I forget the name of it, so this won't help much, but the majority of the world does fuck their cousins. Really? We're actually anomalous in Western culture that we don't.

Yeah, well, this is some cousin fucking talk right here. Yeah, for sure. I'll stand by it. But I've never done it. some cousin fucking talk right here yeah for sure i'll stand by it but i've never done it but i i think uh as an idea i don't think it's as uh gross as people make it out to be in america but i do think fucking your ex's cousin that's a no-go i i disagree your own cousin get in there brother i think love is love if it's that i mean like if it's that good i mean you got something she got something in her gene pool that's fucking

special and i say if this one doesn't work you fuck another one of her cousins wow you're an animal because because guess what if it's feeling that good there's something special in that gene pool get knee deep in that gene pool buddy they can taste it they mac to acon that was fire that was fire what song do you think it was dude don't Matter? I can't think of any right now. Dude, I think Sweet... No, that's Gwen Stefani. That's Akon too. Sweet Escape?

I think he's on that as well. Is that Akon? I think he's on that as well. I wouldn't back to that. That's a great song. I'm going to put that on tonight. Gwen Stefani's good. Dude.

She's amazing. Gwen Stefani, 1997 to like 2005. Yes, that's like your top. Who's your top? Oh, dude. Big time. I never have even thought about that, but after I just said that, that's like your top who's your top that that oh dude big time i never have even thought about that but after i just said that that's my top she's hot how about you i got you know who's at the top of the list somewhere is like we're talking to usa earlier early mariska hargitay

s for you oh whoa you're like a powerful woman who can get the job done. I like that she's just no-nonsense and independent and just wants to put away sexual assaulters. For sure. No, she is so hot. And also, if you're hot enough

to rock short hair, you're fucking hot. And if you can go toe-to-toe with Maloney and not get, you know, outgunned, you've got some horsepower. He's a beast.

No, I like her. I like, I don't know. I like... Do y'all throw out a random one?icia kuthbert yeah she was she was hot you know she she they wanted her to get topless and uh the girl next door and she refused and they almost recast her and she was like no i'm not doing that it's kind of an underrated movie it's very good yeah people knocked it for being a knockoff of risky business but that didn't bother me at all. It was, but Timothy Olyphant, like that dude. He crushed it.

And then Miles Teller's in it, right? Oh, is he? No. I think so. Yeah. No, Timothy Olyphant as like the bad dude, like that guy I liked Justified so much. So good. I think that show is phenomenal.

Do you like Elmore Leonard? He seems like a writer you did. I think he's phenomenal. He's my favorite writer. Yeah, he's great. Dude, you can read those books, and it feels like you're watching TV. I know. They just fly by.

It's because of the dialogue. Yeah, he's a legend. And all the characters are cool. It's so enviable. The one they never made a movie out of, which is a great one, Tishamonga Blues. Tishamonga Blues. Dude, me and my bro, we talk about this all the time. For the male lead, Matthew McConaughey, he'd crush that part.

Or Channing Tatum, now, because McConaughey's too old. They never... I heard Don Cheadle bought the rights. They almost made it a couple times. It would be a great movie. I mean, look. Look at all the great movies he's responsible. I mean, the show Justified, right?

Jackie Brown, Out of Sight. Get Shorty. Get Shorty. Dude, it's insane. They're all great adaptations, right? I mean, Jackie Brown's my favorite Tarantino movie. I know I'm in the minority here,, I love all Tarantino's movies. It's that writer Scott Frank, because he's a huge fan.

So he knows how to write Elmore into a film, rather. I became pretty, you know, friendly with this guy, Chris Provenzano, who wrote like 30 episodes of Justified. And like, he's the coolest guy, said that Elmore was the coolest guy. I mean, Justified is fucking phenomenal TV. It's incredible. coolest guy said that elmore was the coolest guy i mean justified is phenomenal tv just like the dialogue and like i love when a when a villain is kind of likable this is like a white supremacist we're watching walton goggins and i'm like this guy's fun dude i like walton goggins that second season was like margo martindale amazing she she won an emmy for it i think she blew everyone i mean everyone killed it but she like blew everyone off screen she was

incredible but timothy alla fan's incredible he's so badass in that show it's great right the show the writers on that show deserve all the fucking props because you got a 10 gallon hat on a 20 gallon head i'm like come on bro you can't be that cool oh dude the writing the dialogue was like the quotes on that show there's a scene where walton goggins is trying to get into jail to kill the guy who shot his girl and the dialogue in it is like it's fucking beautiful he's the greatest yeah i um cuba libra would have been a good movie, too. Yeah. I never read that one. Oh, dude, you'd love it. The great thing about Emerald Leonard, he's got like 12,000 books.

I know. I got to get into some of them. Yeah, he's phenomenal. There was another line in the show where he's like, I'm thinking to go to Mexico. I don't think you'd like that. There's a whole lot of Mexicans there. It's just so many good lines. The writing's next level.

But you know what? He'll say- Fire in the Hole is like one of the coolest stories ever. I never read that one. That was like the premise for Justified, which was, it's like the first episode where he shoots him over dinner and you're like, this is fucking phenomenal. And he can write racist dialogue, but you can never call him racist because of how much humanity he puts into all the characters.

Like in Tish Among the Blues, the black dude's the smartest smartest guy he's the only one who sees the whole chessboard but it still like has stereotypes written into it but there's so much nuance to it you can't call him out for it it's it's too uh it's thoughtful and it's uh i mean it's just so fucking good i mean tarantino has a lot of this that's why why Jackie Brown is such a good movie, because I think he just understood how to make like a scuzzy character's fun. Like you can write pieces of shit in a way where you're like, I want to spend time with these pieces of shit, and that's hard. That's one of the things I really like about your comedy is that, without pigeonholing you, you seem like you're a liberal dude,

but you're not a puss. Oh, thanks, man. I mean, I just just you are who you are but uh you know i don't i'm drunk half the time on the road so i'm kind of just like you know yeah i mean i i'm never i didn't get into this to not get stories you know so you're on the road and you're kind of like what am i gonna just go back to my room let me let me fucking live a kind of grungy life and i think a lot of the comics who are like kind of trapped in this liberalism are not traveling the country they're not meeting people with different mindsets i think it all it kind of broadens you but also

reinforces some of your views by traveling so i'd be at home and i'd just be you know i'd be like i'm bored and then i'd be in like springfield missouri getting fucked up with locals and i'd be like this is why i got into comedy man i'm just like hanging out with people and we're like having conversations or like arguments i'm like i fucking love this you know i got into this to like see the country and to tell jokes to strangers and um hey they don't if they don't work everywhere they don't stay in the act so you kind of learn to you learn to be yourself but kind of a version of yourself that isn't like pocketed like in you know and when you're in new york i think you or la or whatever and you're not touring i think people can sniff that out in your act and your act becomes one-dimensional and kind of boring.

When you got into entertainment, did you think of doing anything else other than stand-up? No, not really. I wrote on a couple of failed pilots, but I didn't like it. I didn't really like doing it. You didn't like the room? No, I did. I liked the comics and the

and the minds that was around but i didn't want to um i didn't like writing for voices that were mine because i just was like well i like this thought and they did something with it that felt not what i wanted it a bit with like yeah and i just want i was like if i'm not gonna i'd rather kind of go down. I thought it was, it got to the point where it was going well enough doing it my way, where I was like, I'll just keep doing it my way, and if it doesn't work, then maybe I'll do that. But I also didn't like the idea of writing for a show where it's like, well, now I'm just waiting for someone to return my call.

Fertile. Where, like, with stand-up, I was like, I can kind of make my own schedule, and I can kind of... Dictate the outcome a bit more. Well, YouTube changed everything, right? Because like, or just the internet and social media. It seems like you really kind of harnessed the internet around COVID. Like you putting out those clips on Instagram and stuff.

And it seemed like you and Norman especially, like, utilized that time to really kind of skyrocket through the internet. I was very scared because I just put out a special for free on YouTube. And it was doing really well. But I put it out for free on YouTube on the hopes that I could tour off it. And I couldn't tour anymore. So I was panicking a little bit. And I think it was kind of like, I didn't come this far to just fucking. So there was that fear of like like i worked so hard to get here

that special was like a chip on my shoulder special because no one would buy it so that special i got this was on youtube right now i remember trying to sell it everywhere and no one would buy it i remember hearing hbo wouldn't buy it thinking hbo would buy it and being like just like oh my heart sank like i was so sad yeah my agent called i remember i was with stavros who's one of my best friends and um we left a podcast studio um and i said ah hbo just passed and he was like he like was like grabbing his arm around my shoulders like it'll be okay and i was like ah i know but it's like that one hurt really badly we had like a similar thing we had a show come out where it's like on netflix where it's like that one hurt really badly. We had a similar thing. We had a show come out on Netflix where it's like you think...

I fell into this trap of where you think... Because doing our sketches and our videos and stuff, the goal was to get a TV show. It's like that's why I started it. You know what I mean? And then you get a show and you think it's going to change everything. And it comes out and you're like, it was good, and people liked it, but it didn't.

Every clip that I saw was fucking hilarious. Oh, thank, yeah. Yeah. It didn't change your life the way you think. I just don't expect anything to change anything. I think this is like a long game type thing now, which is, in some ways, this is an endurance test now. Yeah.

It's like, man, it's for the best. You got to really work hard and you really got to keep going but uh i'll tell you this it might be for the best that it doesn't change everything because i louis would always say this to me when i was like a really young comic is uh he'd be like you you don't want you don't want this yeah because that's when you do this yeah you want this because that's sustainability and that's and it forces you to rethink things and really grow in a way where even if it doesn't change your life it changes you and you're like all right what do i have to improve on to get to that next step yeah and also

like appreciating i i i took my foot off the gas with internet because i always thought looked as it looked as like a stepping stone to tv and that totally changed the perspective of that of like oh no this is like where the power is to like really create a career and then just getting back into that that like you're talking about like that high from creating a new joke or writing a new joke it's like getting back into that I call it like the open mic mindset where it's like every day or it's just about getting back into that creative mode as opposed to trying to get that kind of big career kind of milestone. Cause it's, it's all in the process.

The Carson days are over. I always think that like, I understand that people are chasing that, like the one thing to change stuff. But I try to think of it more like just try to keep writing really good jokes and just put out a good special and if i come up with something i'm i'm protective with material now where i'm like i used to always throw up every good topical joke and now i'm like i could put this in a special maybe it's it's uh so you're building to something you think could be

like your opus in a way i wouldn't say that but i just i'm like i don't want to burn stuff i don't want people coming to shows knowing the whole set. Yeah, and you're in a place where you can protect it a bit and wait for... I'm trying to. I was very... I really rushed a lot of specials because I was so scared. But it worked. Thanks.

Yeah, I mean, some of it worked. I think I looked back at some of it and I was like, I could have lasted a little longer. And I think you really got to put your foot down with your stuff. I look back at some of it and I was like, ah, I could, I could have lasted a little longer, but, uh, and I think you really got to put your foot down with your stuff. Like certain stuff. I kind of let fly that I didn't believe in that.

I was kind of just like, I didn't have the energy to fight. And now I'm like, I'll fight for fucking one. If it's mine, I'll fight for whatever. That's a good mindset to be in. But I, I definitely would like give it on arguments,

which stuff where I was like, why did I give it on that? I fucking, that's really tough though. To know when to fight and not to fight on that creative stuff, because you're dealing with people who are smart, and their input...

I know a lot of people will disrespect notes and stuff, but all the notes we've gotten, I could see where they were coming from on it. I know, but what I go back on is like, I don't mean to sound pretentious, but I fucking know better than them, usually. You need to feel that way, too. I've workshopped the jokes more than them. I don't of myself as an artist by the way but i i what do

you think of yourself an entertainer but i i will uh you reeled that off nice but i will go on the road workshopping the jokes enough that i'm like i know what works i know what doesn't work and i know so if there's ever something where someone thank god like i'm surrounded by people now who don't really question that i mean look they will say here's what i think and i always will want to hear them out if it's something that they're passionate about but if it's someone who puts their foot down with me i'm kind of like i'm out i i don't i can't do that anymore i've been with people like that where they're like i don't what were they're like they won't rely on something, and I'm like, man, that's over. I want to ask you, so many people think that the contemporary times have changed the way performers

are with PC culture and stuff like that, and you've had good answers to that, about how you've been more successful than ever in the current climate, so you've figured it out, but how do you think it's changed the audiences? I think the audience thinks they know better than the performer which is kind of funny and that's like a recent phenomenon right yeah i i felt that early on in like brooklyn where there was like this arrogance in the crowd where they were like why

no better than you and i said well i might have worked harder on this thought than you did yeah they think they they can critique your thing and come to it from they're more than welcome to critique it but the arrogance in which they critiqued it was what bothered me. The way where they almost didn't hear your side out of it. And believed in the worst self of you. For sure. And that's what bothered me, is when they were like, have a little faith. I've been killing for 35 minutes straight, and then there's one setup that you didn't like and you bail.

But that being said, I get really annoyed when comics are just like blaming the audience or too sensitive. It's like, well, we've been comics have been figuring it out for a long fucking time. I bet you could figure it out. You know, like that's the other thing is like. I don't find I don't know who's saying this. Like I'm on the road constantly. The crowds are great. I mean, if look,

I think a problem with a lot of comedians is they fixate on the one annoying person in the room. And I think we sometimes give them too much power and whether it be on, in the room or on social media, guess what? People on social media aren't going to like you because that's what they do on social media. And if the joke gets because that's what they do on social media they don't like things and if the joke gets traction that means strangers are popping into the

joke and maybe those strangers weren't meant to see your material because that's not your crowd that's fine they're allowed to not like you uh i think people not liking you is a sign of success that means you've reached so many people that people are popping in that are like fuck this guy and that's great that means you're reaching a lot of people and i think uh people criticize a lot of people hate tarantino yeah i think we'd all agree he's a fucking great filmmaker but like people are like fuck tarantino you know he he's a misogynist he's a racist i don't think any of us think that but like i think a lot of people on the internet are doing that. Well, you know what? Let them have at it.

Their hatred is getting more eyeballs on Tarantino, right? So I just think the people that know you know your intent and that you're not trying to be a dickhead, and I don't give them a lot of power. I don't think they have any power on me. I think they're bored and they're sad and uh my intent is to entertain strangers so if they if they were like having a real problem with me they should evaluate their own life and seek therapy and and it's like when the people are like really upset with you they're like i'm like

take i've had people where they walk up to you and they're like here's my problem with your joke i'm like that's something for you to take up with your therapist i don't know how you found me but uh good job finding me i guess you're you'd be a great spy uh talk to a fucking therapist i i don't care i i i don't and it's not that i don't think you're like a bad person but i just i wasn't like waiting being like, I hope someone tells me a criticism of my show. I edit, but I don't edit based on this. This is nonsense. Should we cap it there? Yeah.

Yeah, I got to run this show. Yeah, you want to pardon me a little more and then we'll finish it off? Dude, Moscow just texted me. Oh, really? You told them I'm with you? Where are you going tonight? I got to show Townhouse

Oh, that's a good venue You guys are easy to talk to, by the way This is fun Oh, thanks, man It was a pleasure having you on Yeah, thanks for doing the pod I hope I'm not rambling here No, you're great

Dude, you're great Cheers, guys We appreciate your opinion Cheers This is fun Yeah Well, thank you for coming Cheers, guys. We appreciate your opinion. It was fun. Yeah. Well, thank you for coming on, man.

It's easy. It was a pleasure. We're going to be hungover tomorrow on our flight. Are you? Yeah, both of us. Yeah. It'll be great. No, life is good, man.

It's easy to talk to you guys. And thanks for rescheduling. I'm a psycho Knicks fan. No, no. So I didn't know what the time change would be the game. And I was like, fuck. Dude, you've got to watch the Knicks. You guys are in't know what the time change would be the game. And I was like, fuck. You gotta watch the Knicks. You guys are in the playoffs. It might not happen again.

Exactly. It's been a while. It's been a couple of years. And before that, it was like 80. Randall's a little squirrely. Can you really rely on him? I love him, dude. He's got great energy.

I love him. I love this team so much. It's sick. It's like, there's a sickness in me. When he talked shit to KG when he was like a rookie on the Laker team. Have you seen that highlight? Yeah. Like the spirit he had to go.

And Kobe was like, that's Julie. That's Randall. He's a man. He said Randall's a man. And Kobe's not quick with like positive words. I love Kobe, dude. Dude, I have my issues with him. I just loved him for being a psycho.

That's why we love him. The way he approached basketball is like, goddamn. Like, how do you not love a guy for going that hard he he had supreme belief in it and i do admire that but you but did you even dying was like the beginning of the end it was like it was like when shit went south i feel like culturally yeah that's when it happened it happened everything it was like i remember when he died i was like how is this i know a guy from tmz and he knows i'm a big basketball fan he he messaged. It was like, I remember when he died, I was like, how is this? I know a guy from TMZ and he knows I'm a big basketball fan. He messaged me.

He was like, Kobe fucking died. And I was like, are you kidding me? And he was like, I'm not. I'm so sorry. And I was like, it like shook me. It was one of those moments. I remember my roommate telling me. As a fan of his influence and his greatness, I was like.

But God bless him. I got to go, guys. All right, let's do it. Let's call it. Guys, thank you for listening to that podcast. Make sure you check us out on tour make sure you check out sam on tour he's going to be in baltimore maryland may 12th philadelphia pennsylvania may 13th hampton beach new hampshire june 1st and portland maine june 2nd go to his website and get tickets it is some excellent excellent stand-up we know you're gonna love it all right see you guys next week if you need advice these guys are really nice you wanna know

what to do where to go when you need someone to guide you Just a half a girl beside you Go free Go free Let's go free I'm going to be A giant in 18