Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 293 - Just Cruisin' Solo EP
Episode Date: May 31, 2023Today is another classic solo, Chad and JT pod. After being on the road for the past week the dudes dive into some crazy road trip stories. From Chad being a pro at mini bowling to JT getting kicked o...ut of the bar. Thanks to all the stokers who came out in Ohio! We enjoyed our time and look forward to seeing you all soon! Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check us out on tour!  We've got shows in LA and Wisconsin next! https://www.chadandjt.com Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Sponsored by:Manscape: Visit www.manscape.com/  USE code godeep at checkout for 20%off + free shipping.Rumpl: Visit www.rumpl.com/godeep USE code godeep at checkout for 10% off your order!
Transcript
Discussion (0)
What's up Stokers, before we begin this podcast, I want to let you know we are on tour.
Dude, we're going to Appleton, Wisconsin next.
I'm so psyched, dude.
Oh, and we also have a show at the Hollywood Improv this Thursday at 10.15.
Good lineup.
Yeah, we got Trevor Wallace on the show.
What's the Girls Gotta Eat podcast?
Ashley Hesseltine.
Ashley Hesseltine.
Andrew Collin, very funny guy.
Yeah.
Strider Wilson. Strider Wilson.
Strider Wilson.
It's going to be a super fun show.
10-15, Hollywood Improv.
If you're in LA, check it out.
And just go to chatandjt.com to get tickets
because the tour's fun, the shows are fun.
We're cooking.
Yeah.
Get ready.
No, I'm serious
Get out there Appleton
We need ya
Let's all be in the room together
Face to face
Let's do it like humans do
And then Fort Wayne, Indiana next
I'm excited for that
I got some friends from high school
That are coming out
Fuck yeah
And places I've never been
Yeah
Like I'll be brand new
Send in Rex on where to go
I'm open minded ChadandJT.com Get your tickets And places I've never been. Yeah. Like, I'll be brand new. Send in Rex on where to go.
I'm open-minded.
ChadandJT.com.
Get your tickets.
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Let's start the show
Man, it's been so long since we've done a solo
That I forgot how to intro for a sec.
You know what I mean?
I mean, there's no right way to do it, dude.
Right.
Whatever you're feeling, that's the correct way.
I was in a zone where I was like,
you said we're going, and I was like,
wait, what do I do?
Well, just sit in it.
It'll come to you, dude.
I'm in no rush.
Okay.
For any new listeners, stay patient.
Let's Let's
Let's tinkle the
Not tinkle the taint
Let's tickle the taint
And let's put some Canadian bacon on the grill
What's up Stokers of Stoke Nation
This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep in Chad and JT podcast I'm here with my compadre Sean Thomas, what up? Boom clap Stokers of Stoke Nation This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad and JT podcast
I'm here with my compadre
Sean Thomas, what up?
Boom clap Stokers
And we are stoked to be in Melrose
Melrose Studios once again, what up?
Mmhmm
Shout out Ari and Abby
Do you want to say hi?
Entry yourself to the listeners
Oh I don't have my mic on
I am saying what up if you want to tell them.
He said what up.
Matt.
Mo.
Mo.
Why did I think your name was Matt?
Matt?
Yeah.
Come on, Matt.
We're cutting all that.
Because we're buddies.
Stupid.
All right, let's go.
So, you got a Celsius?
yeah I need some caffeine
I need some pick me up
long day yesterday?
I got drunk yesterday
I saw that story
yeah I got pretty fucked up
you were more on the more fucked up level
I've been on a rum springer
the kids are coming I'm like this is it
get it out while you can
and I'm like this is it get it out while you can and I'm still
responsible
like
I
you know
Ubered home
got home by 6
so I could watch Succession
you two haven't seen it yet
no
insane people
yeah
I'm
I'm
I'm 30 minutes in
it's good
here's my excuse
it's good
it might be perfect
really
well I don't want to say anything
I don't want to cut your expectations
here's my excuse um actually same as you It's good. It might be perfect. Really? Well, I don't want to say anything. I don't want to color your expectations.
Here's my excuse.
Actually, same as you.
My lady wanted to watch last week's episode first,
but she gets home late.
So it was about 11 until we started.
No, 11.30 until we started the new one.
And it was 12.30. She fell asleep.
It was 12.30. I was like,
I want to go to bed.
So I managed to go to bed, because I didn't want to go to bed at 1.30.
Smart.
So that's where I'm at.
That's where I'm at.
Because you were doing the MRF today.
I was doing the MRF today.
Which is a crossfit workout that people do on Memorial Day.
And you know what, dude?
I felt my age today.
I got to be honest.
Well, dude, it's a hell of a workout too.
You know, back in the day, I could do the 100 pull-ups.
I did 75.
And I had to take off the weighted vest at 20.
That's okay, man.
You still did more than most.
It's not okay, dude.
I need to go on roids.
What would Murph think?
Dude, I don't even want to know, dude.
Taylor Kitsch's character from Lone Survivor based on a real-life dude, Murph, who invented the workout.
Lieutenant Michael Murphy.
Who sacrificed his life protecting us.
What would he think?
I don't know.
He'd probably be all right with it, he'd probably be alright with it
He'd probably be like, you need to keep doing it
He'd probably want you to finish
To get back up there
For sure
Yeah
But I appreciate you being understanding
You're gonna do steroids?
I think I need juice
I started taking the peptides
Yeah
They fucked me up, dude
It was fun I looked good i think yeah and
and uh i was a little bit stronger but now my shoulder's like a little jacked because i was
probably overhead lifting more than is right for my ligaments and then uh it made me a little manic
right which i reached out to doctors and they're like yeah that's possible interesting because i
take like brain like i I take like bipolar medication.
Yeah.
Which I've been like weaning off of.
And then, and yeah, so whatever, however, combined with the peptides,
I was like steamrolling.
Right.
I think even you can hear it on some of the pods.
Really?
Like I always get comments, people are like, hey, man,
you're kind of talking over people.
Yeah.
Which I do, I'm sorry.
But I'm also trying to keep that energy moving.
So it's a double-edged sword, my friends.
Yeah.
But I was doing it even more, I think, because I'm also trying to keep that energy moving so it's a double edged sword my friends but I was doing it even more I think
because I was just coming into every room like
what is up, let's fucking go
but then it wasn't all fun like that
it would tank me for a day
like when we were in DC, remember how sick I was?
I was like laying down in between sets
and like feeling rough
that last set, you were like
I thought you were going tip over i i almost
passed out on stage yeah so it was fun this is all part of me getting my chaos out before the
kiddos are born dude i uh because i was talking to my buddy mikey and uh he takes peptides but
he only takes a pill and i told him i got the load on what you were taking i think you were
taking too much yeah didn't he say that's a lot or something?
Yeah, he's like, I take a pill, it's like one,
and you're like, I inject three different.
I don't even know the fucking.
I started slow.
They all have goofy names.
I did CJC 1295, BPC 157, and Copper GKU.
I mean, that's a lot of shit.
I should not have started.
At first, I was just doing the BPC
and then these wellness clinics
that just want to make money
were like,
you could feel even better.
And I was like,
give them all to me.
Yeah, yeah.
And I did get like
kind of an addict thrill
out of injecting myself.
Yeah.
And then,
yeah,
it made me feel like
absolute hammered dog shit.
Yeah.
And I had to lay off.
I've been off of them
for like a week.
I do miss it
but i'm feeling much better well maybe you could try that one pill maybe i'm gonna i gotta find a
doctor i really trust yeah because so i was going to this wellness clinic and then i was following
up with them and i was like yo i feel like shit and they're like you're just tired from travel
i'm like okay yeah probably and then i called him like a week later and i was like i've been feeling and
it's not even a doctor it's like a uh nurse practitioner or something and i it takes me
forever to get a hold of him i'm like guys like i really feel bad like come on call me back
and uh she calls me back she's in hawaii which was disconcerting to me for some reason yeah
and then she's like well tell me what's going on and i'm like i'm dizzy i'm nauseous i feel like i'm gonna pass out just like feel like you're gonna pass out and then she
laughed really she laughed at me dude and i was like i don't mind being disabused of like my
uh like neuroses around health but considering they were giving me like injectables and i was telling them i was having
an adverse response i expected a little more seriousness in the convo yeah but it's too bad
because i really wanted to do that stuff but it's just not it just doesn't suit my uh my makeup well
i wouldn't give up yet but i tried all three without i did all three by themselves oh really
i tried them at different times i really like case studied it as best I could for a while.
Yeah.
And it just wasn't working.
But it was fun to feel manic for a little bit.
I haven't felt that way in a long time.
Being manic's cool.
I never had a full break.
I was always pretty together if you talked to me.
I just was doing a lot of insane stuff.
Right.
But I felt that like
I woke up one time when I was on the peptides at three in the morning and I just my first thought
when I opened my eyes was you're amazing really and then I went that's not healthy yeah yeah the
other part of my brain went not normal to feel that way and I woke up with full energy like I
didn't wake up oh I woke up like pow you're amazing yeah and i was like okay uh
it's sort of like green goblin shit it sounds nice but you're redlining a bit and who knows
maybe some of that was psychosomatic but since i was injecting myself with all that stuff i have
to attribute some of the the the intensity and thoughts to that can you sample them like we
go like maybe like sundays peptides day i want to, but I'm busy and stuff.
I think just getting drunk yesterday
was probably a better way to get a rush.
And a little more culturally accepted.
Did you dance?
I danced a lot.
Rachel, our friend who had a party,
she's the best because
if you don't go to something she invites you to,
she's one of those people you really feel like
you're letting her down.
She's like, hey, I invited you and Chad to this party.
I really want you guys to come.
I let her down.
I miss hanging out with you guys.
Please come.
And I'm like, fuck, I better go.
But it's always fun when you see her there.
She throws a great party.
It was her friend's party, but she invited a bunch of people too.
And yeah, I sawy silverberg and uh jack
robichaud some good good folks and then just went home yeah said some crazy shit to my girlfriend
but all pretty fun nice sometimes i just do that yeah i'm like i'm just gonna say some wild shit
she handles it so well well it's uh that's sort of your you like to you like to get crazy shit
out there i do yeah you like to get crazy shit out there.
I do.
Yeah.
You like to stir the pot.
A little bit, yeah.
Stirring the pot's your thing.
Yeah, I get it from my old man.
Yeah.
He used to just toss grenades into conversation
and then just walk away.
Your dad's so funny, dude.
He's funny, dude.
We had the baby shower.
He was disrespecting people subtly at the baby shower.
I heard.
Well, he kind of tried to baby shower. I heard, well,
he kind of tried to disrespect Rachel,
I heard.
Yeah.
Did she tell you about that?
She told me about it.
That was hilarious.
But she gave it back to him.
She can handle it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're not going to bully Rachel.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He told her that she went to like a podunk high school.
Yeah.
Even though it has like a 86%,
uh,
like college graduation rate.
It's like one of the best public high schools in the country.
Yeah.
Was it like for like Laguna? Yeah. And then my dad was like saying he wanted me to go to a good
high school and i wish i could have chimed in and say well i got kicked out of one and almost failed
out of the other and then went to junior college for five years so i'm not sure he picked the best
academic route for me no it's not his fault but it was funny that he would try to big time on that
yeah he was picking on my girlfriend about us wanting to live in Pasadena.
Oh, really?
Yeah, he's like, Pasadena.
I don't even think he's ever been there.
Yeah.
He was like, Pasadena, why would you live there?
It's like big time and around that. That's hilarious.
Yeah, and then we went to Ohio.
Ohio was sick.
Brought Jake along with us.
He's a legend.
Hit Cedar Point.
Yeah, I was going to say.
You got his favorite thing amusement parks
dude i just love thrills i love thrills i love skydiving roller coasters big waves point break
without the bank robberies exactly point break without the bank robberies i like adrenaline
um so yeah cedar point which is kind of known as being like the roller coaster capital of
the country so i was really excited to go there because I've heard about it for years,
and it did not disappoint.
Here's some sick coasters.
And I got to say, you know, it was like school day there,
so it was like all kids there than me.
I fucking pushed them out of the way.
I'm like, these are my rides.
You were like the oldest, most mature man there.
Yeah, and you know what?
I don't feel weird about it at all.
No, you shouldn't.
No.
I get my thrills, and that's what's up.
No, and that's like wholesome.
Yeah.
There's like weird stuff that adults do to feel better.
Yeah.
I was better than doing peptides or drinking.
Not that it's like a comparison thing, but like it's pretty healthy.
Yeah.
Although it did have some deleterious health effects for Jake.
Yeah.
So we went on Raptors, our second coaster, and he almost, he almost boked.
It was tough to watch.
I thought he was having a seizure.
It looked pretty intense.
Yeah.
Or at least when you guys were describing it, I was like, that sounds punishing.
Okay.
So we were coming in and I was, cause I kind of was like, Jake, we're going.
Although he loves roller coasters.
I didn't force him.
He was excited too um and I look over at him on the roller coaster and he's going
it is at the end and I look around to be like wasn't that fucking sick and he's like oh
because he's talking about his neck was hurting and I was like Jake are you okay man and I thought
he was having a seizure he like he struck a nerve in his neck I was like oh Jake, are you okay, man? And I thought he was having a seizure. He struck a nerve in his neck.
I was like, oh, God, I killed Jake.
But he was just trying not to puke.
Great guy.
I love Jake.
You almost went to his second amusement park.
I did.
Ohio's littered with them.
Yeah, dude.
Interesting.
You know what cracks me about Ohio, too?
And this is every state and place in America,
is the rivalries between
towns i've really picked up on this since we started touring is like you'll be in dallas
and you'll mention austin and they're all like boo yeah boo and then if you're in like toledo
they boo like columbus and if you're in columbus they like boo cincinnati yeah but i gotta tell
you to someone who's just dropping in for a day or two they all seem exactly the same
like they're like yeah boo those you know snobs in columbus and they're like you know all those
cow kickers in cincinnati i'm like it's the same dude it looks exactly you guys sound and look
exactly the same yeah it's like the same green fields they're just flat yeah look and then like when
you're in when we were in st louis and we're getting barbecue they have their opinions about
barbecue within st louis but then the kansas city people are like it's not even close like kansas
city barbecue is so much better i'm like is it though like aren't you guys are getting the same
spices and sauces i'm betting yeah we have highways and planes now and recipes online
i don't think
we're in the same kind of like tribal difference that we had 300 years ago right I um no it's so
true so it all kind of feels the same yeah if you have pride in where you're from you might not be
from somewhere that great yeah good people though dude yeah great people thanks for steering me that
way the sweetest people on
earth so friendly yeah like when we're at the airbnb in cleveland i just come out the the door
every person in the hall was like what's up what's up hey how you doing like just so nice yeah and
it was the first time in a while i've gone out with stokers after the show and they're all just
lovely people i uh i had that in michigan where it was like it
was like three older women were in an elevator and they're like hey hey i was like dude am i
fucking well that might have been something dude no they're just friendly they're just friendly
because i asked them i was like you guys trying to bone right now yeah you got straight too
yeah and they're like no we're just being friendly. I was like, oh, my bad. It was good crowds, too.
Those were fun shows in Ohio.
Yeah, dude.
They were great crowds.
I love touring.
It is really fun.
Guys, come out to our shows.
We had some.
Dude, I think our show in, what was it?
Columbus.
Fire.
It was an all-timer.
Keith.
Shout out, Keith.
He's an absolute.
Or is he your legend of the week?
No. Okay, so shout out Keith.
Absolute legend. This guy at the show
with his son's single dad just hammered
in the front. Best laugh on earth.
Fun guy. Yeah. They were really cool.
They were drinking wine.
You know I have that American flag hat I wear on here
sometimes with the fish on it? Yeah. He had one.
Dude, I have a good idea too
for gun control. That's a little spin-off of that. wear on here sometimes with the fish on it yeah he had one dude i have a good idea too yeah for
like gun control yeah that's a little spin-off of that like uh so you know how a lot of people
a lot of bud light drinkers were pissed about dylan mulvaney be on there i guess it's a trans
person oh dude i love where you're going with this and then there was some ford beef yeah because
people are upset at ford now because it's's a rainbow Ford in the commercial and it does
like a traditionally
colored Ford.
And so now people are like,
fuck Ford.
And Target too.
And so,
yeah,
Target did something
where like
the models were
had like,
you could see their junk
or something.
Right.
Dude,
what if we make guns gay?
And then people won't
want guns anymore.
Wow. Like if AR-15s were like, like a rainbow And then people won't want guns anymore Wow
Like if AR-15s were like a rainbow
And then people are like, get that thing out of my hands
I ain't shooting that
No, I'm boycotting all AR-15s
From now on it's just these
Come paint these
Can't paint these fists no rainbow
And then we wouldn't have gun problems anymore
Just make the guns gay
It's like Winchester is trans.
Yeah.
Wow.
Just paint them all that and be like,
like put pride,
like emblem into the,
the butt of the gun.
And then people would be like,
no man.
Make the tracers rainbow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have the gun make like a noise when the bullet comes out.
Like,
yeah.
And people are like oh man they ruined
it they ruined our fucking guns i don't know why like my family owns guns i'm uh i'm sorry to throw
stones but like uh yeah that could be a good idea they're like uh the theme song for all guns is
live in levita loca yeah dude they're going super far with it dude like did you see like uh
bass pro shops doing
some with rupaul no really no i'm kidding oh damn you got me there dude dude i've never seen
such good um bass pro shops they're beautiful dude yeah dude you ever just drive through a
state and see a bass pro shop in ohio or anywhere they're just beautiful. Yeah, and they're
amusement parks into themselves.
Yeah, it's like they'll have the Capitol
and I'll be like, that's okay, but they'll have a Bass Pro Shop
right next to it.
Blows it away. That's where you want to go. That's where they should be
having the city council meetings. Yeah, dude.
It's good stuff.
We went out with some Stokers after some of the
shows. Well, no.
Did we get drunk with Stokers in...
Columbus?
Yeah, it was just Columbus is where we partied with the Stokers.
Yeah.
When we were in Toledo, we just went out, you, me, and Jake.
We got some pizzas afterwards.
Toledo, yes.
I'm trying to think.
It all is so confusing.
It's a blur.
Toledo, yeah yeah we got pizzas
yeah
which was pretty good pizza
yeah
pretty good
and then
and then we went to
in Columbus
we went out
we went to that bar
Pins
that was fun
dude mini bowling
apparently I'm the best
you took it serious man
I kept looking at the score
cause I was like
darting all over the bar
but I was looking at you
I was like dude
bro's in the high ones
like he's crushing well I had an advantage cause everyone else was like, dude, bro's in the high ones. Like he's crushing.
Well, I had an advantage because everyone else was blacked out.
Yeah, so you were dialed.
Yeah, so I was like the sober one and I was just destroying them.
You really did take it too hard.
Because it's literally you can just fucking pitch it.
And then what ended the game?
The lady we were playing with, the lady and her boyfriend that we were playing with.
Yeah, she fell.
She hurt her face.
But there was no cut.
She was just embarrassed or something.
It was like one of those falls where you're so hammered where you forget to use your hands to protect your fall.
So you use your face instead.
That's when your motor function's not working proper.
Yeah, when you fishtail on concrete, I think that's the time to call it.
And I got thrown out of the bar.
Which I haven't been thrown out of a bar
in so long. It felt so
good to get thrown out.
Not for being drunk.
For doing something stupid while drunk.
They have a slide at this bar.
So it's like two and a half stories high.
It's a big building. And they have a metal slide
that goes down to the bottom. And I guess
I've talked to other people and this is a very common uh thing to try i had like a tall ipa and
i was like i bet you i could slide down with the whole beer and like it have the whole beer when i
get to the bottom yeah and then uh but deep down i knew that wasn't gonna happen and then i got
into the slide and took that first turn and and the whole thing just shattered. And then I just swooshed to the bottom.
But I got lucky.
It was like minimal cuts.
And then the manager was just at the bottom, and he looked all tired.
You could just tell he's been dealing with dumbasses for like five years.
And he was like, you have to go.
And I was like, for sure.
I was like, I do for sure have to go.
And that's my favorite thing about getting kicked out
is when you're cool about it.
Oh, you're like the coolest about it
and it is so funny
because
first I was like
because after
after it all happened
I'm like yeah
why do you have a metal slide
in the bar
it's fun
I rode the slide
it was fun as shit
but then I
so I was like coming
like she fish tailed
and I was like
alright time to go
and so
I'm going
and I look
and I see
just beer running down the slide
and you just standing
there looking around.
Yeah, looking for people
to notice my stupidity.
I just want to be seen.
I'm alive.
Yeah, that was fun.
So switching gears a little bit,
Ron DeSantis announced he's running
and Trump nicknamed him
the sanctimonious it's too big a word what is do you know what it means i've googled it three times
and i still haven't grasped it i agree with you because his other nicknames are kind of undeniable
sleepy joe crooked hillary yeah and he puts the pun before the name, not after. Yeah.
And it makes it flow easier.
Yeah.
Is there a better nickname for...
Well, it's two things.
Do you think Donald's losing his sharpness
when it comes to belittling other candidates?
I think so, dude.
Wow, that was like a superpower.
Yeah.
And then what do you think's a better nickname for Ron?
I don't know, like...
Stupid Bitch Ron?
That's good, that'll crush him
That sounds like him
Howlin' Ron? Did you watch the thing where he laughed all weird
With that constituent where he's like
Here's the thing about
DeSantis
You know, you hear stuff
You see articles in the news
Talking about Florida or whatever
But I don't know anything about him It's all policy stuff, it's all what's going on over or whatever. But I don't know anything about him. It's all policy
stuff. It's all what's going on over there.
I don't know anything about him.
I don't even know what his voice sounds like. But I hear it's
kind of atrocious.
I've been getting into
paying attention to politics again. I've been listening to
the Breaking Points podcast.
I like it.
I've been
hearing more snippets of him talking,
and I don't think he's long for the day
because he just doesn't have the right voice.
I think he's too easy to kind of get annoyed by.
Right.
And that submarines you sometimes.
You've got to kind of sound the part.
Yeah.
Donald Trump, he doesn't sound like what I thought a president should sound like,
but he's confident.
Yeah.
And then like Barack or Bill Clinton or even George Bush, like they kind of had like that
presidential tone to them.
Yeah.
You know, with differing success.
But yeah, I just don't think sanctimonious has the voice.
Oh, I just called him by his nickname though.
Did it feel good?
Felt right.
Do you know what it means?
Sanctimonious, like to act high and mighty.
Yeah.
Ah.
So maybe de-sanctimonious is to not act high?
Whoa.
He's low, bro.
I think he means like he thinks he's like a good guy when he's really probably a scoundrel.
Right.
What do you think?
I think for Trump, most clever nickname he's done.
Oh, you like it.
Oh, you like it.
No.
I don't think it's good, but if you think of all the other ones, it's the most thought out.
Right.
I think that's the problem with it.
That's what I'm saying.
It doesn't seem as gunslinging.
Exactly.
It seems like he kind of was in a room and he's like, man, I don't know what to get this guy with.
And then he was like, De Sanctimonious, and his team was like, yeah, that'll work.
Yeah.
But it wasn't like when he said Sleepy joe or crooked hillary and you're like oh
that just came to him yeah that was like genuine inspiration sleepy joe is insane it's so good
that's tough lion ted lion ted is fucking good crooked hillary yeah i mean he yeah though i
guess that's yeah maybe he'll try so hard it's not going to work for him
I think
I think also
DeSantis doesn't have much of a record
behind him
Joe's old
Hillary has a huge backlog
where you can just trash it
he's like
you can say blah blah
with DeSantis everyone's kind of like
oh this is kind of a new guy
We don't have the dirt yet
There's no dirt
I think that's the problem
So maybe a name will come
Maybe Squeaky Ron
Squeaky Ron
That's good
I should tweet him
How about Squeaky Ron
If you collabed on a Trump nickname
It's like a
credit among credits oh yeah would i be able to work in hollywood anymore or would it break
i think it'll bring you to the top dude yeah yeah like political candidates hitting you up for a
thought there are like those people like the people who change like global warming to climate change like
who they change like what the how the words we use to frame conversations to make it more palatable
yeah if you could be on top of that but just in terms of just bullying yeah potential presidential
candidates i mean that's the that's the life dude imagine a documentary about that guy i've been
watching a lot i watched wiener again
the anthony wiener doc that's a classic yeah he's an animal his his sex nickname when he was
sending stuff to girls was carlos danger it's kind of cool did you i know a funny thing about him
the person who called him out for all the carlos city. Sidney Leathers? So it was a guess based on a foot in a picture with his junk.
What do you mean it was a guess?
A smaller gossip website put it out first.
And it was, they put a picture of his foot,
like nudes had come out of the purse carlos danger but without
knowing who it was that it was wiener and somebody put his foot next to a photo of him at the beach
wow and he didn't even defend like they put it out and then it got picked up and he just went
straight to apologizing he knew he was caught Well, foot culture is so huge now.
I know.
We study feet like almost nothing else.
People are obsessed with feet.
Like every female comedian we're friends with, their feet are online.
A lot of male comedians.
Like I think Trevor Wallace's feet, my feet are online.
I've got a couple reviews.
Did you go WikiFeet?
I think I'm on WikiFeet.
Yeah.
And it's like me on the pod when we used to do it at my place.
And I wouldn't rock like any socks or shoes. I wish I had on wicked feet yeah and it's like me on the pod when we used to do it at my place and I wouldn't rock
like any socks or shoes
I wish I had a foot fetish
I wish people had a foot fetish
about my feet
can you imagine
dude
I think they do though
yeah it's weak
what was your rating
it was
four to five
four to five
yeah but it's only like
three people
bro
I know but I wish
you're on track though
I know it's a good start
and comparison is the thief of joy
but I just wish like
there was hundreds of thousands of dudes
just wailing to my toes
yeah I hear you
I think you just gotta post more feet pics
but you wanna have a foot fetish
there's five on here
they really got you
five on here
oh I think they've added one
yeah they got five pics of you
dude maybe you could go back
to doing stand up and flip flops
that was
that was when I was really trying to
you know
make a name for myself
and have my own corner.
I remember I was ripped on Adderall, and I asked Kyle Kinane,
I was like, hey, man, do you think it's okay that I wear sandals on stage?
He's like, why are you doing it?
He's like, are you doing it to be noticed,
or are you doing it because it's authentic to you?
And I was like, because it's authentic.
But deep down, I was like, because I want to talk to you about it.
He was really nice.
Yeah, he's cool. Very about it. He was really nice. Yeah, he's a cool.
Very funny guy.
That's really funny.
I do like, what you wear on stage is a tough thing to decide on.
I still haven't found my look.
Dude, that's interesting.
I was thinking about that yesterday.
It's important.
You look at videos.
I was looking at videos of myself on stage.
And I was like, oh, my shirt looks too big.
You know what I mean?
You like the big shirts, though.
I do like the big shirts, but I'm like,
I don't know if it works for the stage.
But that's also true to, big shirts are true to me.
And then I also don't want to copy what everyone else is doing.
Yeah, you want to have your own thing.
Yeah, everyone seems to go with the cool jacket,
be it leather, denim, shiny material.
People always look terrible in their specials because they overdo it.
Yeah.
It doesn't look like something they wear often.
And I don't like it when it looks like a one-time thing.
Yeah.
I always liked what Louis wore.
I was going to say Louis was the best.
Just the black t-shirt and the jeans.
Yeah.
And the boots.
And there was something about him being so like...
Like I know he's got like his lowbrow humor
and stuff which is all fucking hilarious
but like he
he was such an ordinary guy
so when he'd have these mind blowing ideas you're like
he's just an ordinary guy but he's thinking about things
in such a cool way
and it all fed into itself
yeah
Bill Burr dressed as well
is my nose red? you think you got sunburned today yeah
i like a little sunburn pink it's pink i i think a little sunburn is actually attractive
oh thanks i don't know what that is in me but i i like a little sun kiss yeah let's flip the
screen on yeah it's just a little. It looks good.
Oh, thanks.
It's like highlighted.
I hope AI comes up
with something for
skin cancer by the
time I...
It's pretty curable,
I think.
The only thing about
it is they have to
cut deep.
Yeah.
So if I have it in
my nose...
You might have
a little divot.
Oh, you'll have a
thing.
I'll have to get
reconstructive surgery
probably.
That's okay.
Yeah.
I might get some
work done.
Now I feel better about that
Like Luke Skywalker
He got a new hand
Luke did it
Although he fucked up his face in a car accident
That's why his face looks different
Wilson?
Mark Hamill
Oh really?
I thought of Owen Wilson for a second
I don't even know why my brain went there
But you want to get work done?
I was thinking about it.
I know.
Can we talk about it?
No.
Okay.
I'm too embarrassed.
I'll tell you what mine is, and maybe it'll make you tell yours.
I know what I'm going to do if I have the money.
Yeah.
And it's very embarrassing.
Go.
Ball rejuvenation.
Whoa.
No, mine's still more embarrassing.
Than that?
Dude, my balls droop.
I got grandpa balls.
Is that a thing? they become droopless
yeah oh yeah dude they'll fucking take the exit because like like my balls are like if they hear
the skin no the skin dude right sorry yeah yeah oh it is longer than my dick for sure
but like this like i just have this skin right how much is that i don't know but't know. I looked it up and it is a thing.
I got to get a good health insurance that covers elective.
Do they have to put you under for that?
Yeah, it's a surgery.
Wow.
So you're going to get wheeled into the operating room.
100%.
And you're going to watch the clock spin until it's all black.
Then wake up two hours later with some swollen balls.
Then in a couple months we'll be perfect. We'll be perfect. It's worth it. It's embarrassing to me. You know what's all black, then wake up two hours later with some swollen balls that in a couple months will be perfect.
Will be perfect.
It's worth it.
It's embarrassing to me.
You know what's crazy though, dude, is like, that sounds crazy, but I think it's just as
crazy to do nothing.
Like check the stats on people who get things done.
Most people are like, oh, those are unhappy people who are doing those things.
I don't deny that.
But I think most people are unhappy.
I think at least these people are taking steps to feel better.
And it is a superficial world.
And 92% of people, according to some stat that I saw, who knows?
I'm sure there's countering information.
92% of people are happy they got whatever they got done done.
Like they're happier.
Yeah.
Are they happier in like a deep, like Ram Dass, like spiritually understanding way?
Probably, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What does that does that even mean yeah what does it even mean you feel better you feel better yeah because my balls are only out intimately like i don't you know they're not out
every day it's not for everybody it's not public consumption but when i like i really felt it when
i went to we spa you know you're naked with the boys and that's all i thought about i was looking
at everyone's balls which is weird yeah that's what's weird too is when you think you got something you want to fix
It's all you see in other people. Yeah your eyes become like laser beams
You start judging the whole world by that thing and then Ally brought it up like without knowing that I have a thing
She's all I need a droopy ball. A girl will kill you with that. Yeah, she's like your balls are so droopy
You have so much excess skin
Ali Makovsky's his girlfriend
Very funny comedian
Straight shooter and she'll shoot you straight
Yeah like I'm sitting there naked
Like how much more intimate do you get
And she hits you with like it hurt
Ladies get away with murder when it comes to
Commentary on our sack and peas
Yeah
Speaking of which I don't think my b-hole's as good looking as it could be.
You can get that tightened up.
Yeah.
Or bleached.
I got a guy.
You got a guy?
Yeah.
He's over in Topanga.
He tightens those things up and gets some nice color on them.
You'll have the butthole of your dreams.
It's like five grand, but it's worth it.
Yeah, I want a really symmetrical balloon knot.
Oh, yeah. Shape is what a lot of people are chasing right now. Yeah. They want that it. Yeah, I want like a really symmetrical balloon knot. Oh, yeah.
Shape is, that's what a lot of people are chasing right now.
Yeah.
They want that symmetry.
Yeah.
And they can make it work.
They don't add new lines.
It's about reconstructing the lines you already have.
Yeah.
Because it's a muscle, right?
So you can define it.
Yeah, you can get under there
and you can move the tendons around a little bit
and you can just tighten that hole up.
Because I usually hit my girlfriend with a
Mangina. Loves it.
I hit her with a goat, a fruit
bowl, which is where you're bent
over. She wasn't as stoked.
I know it's because of my b-hole.
Oh man, that's gotta hurt.
Yeah, and I'm like, now I don't even want to bring
up pegging. But don't even be embarrassed
because like 32% of people who get...
Sorry.
It's all good.
It's all good.
32% of people who are getting their buttholes done now are men.
Right.
And that's just self-reporting.
Yeah.
So I think it's something where it's a little more the norm for women to do it.
But a lot of guys are doing it and they're feeling better about themselves.
Yeah.
And when I go to Equinox and I look at the buttholes i'm like these aren't normal you you should not be 65 and
have a butthole like that like they're pristine if you're insecure about your b-hole do not go
to equinox no no no all those guys are getting their buttholes done yeah and they'll spread
them too well why would you if you're gonna pay for it showed off yeah i know i went to the steam
room one time there's this guy just like bent over,
just spreading.
He was showing his friend Frank,
but I saw it too.
And I was,
you know,
I was,
I couldn't,
I had work to do that,
that day.
I didn't do it.
No,
it sticks with you.
Dude,
I was,
I want to talk about hangovers,
man.
That's brutal,
bro.
Ohio waking up the next day
Here's what you do
Never, ever
Get blasted drunk
The same day you did chest
Because you're going to wake up sore the next day
In your pectoralis majors
But you're going to be all anxious
From all the tequila you drank
And you're going to think it's a heart attack for the next two days.
Oh, that's what happened.
That's what was going on.
Oh, you're just, your chest was on fire.
Yeah.
And then my shoulders were sore too.
And then like, you look up like symptoms of a heart attack and it's like chest pain that
spreads into your arm and you're like, oh dude, I'm feeling super janky over here, man.
There's definitely some tightness.
It's like, yeah, it's your muscle fibers rebuilding themselves.
And I'm like, no, it's my artery going kaput.
Right.
So I just think if you're going to get blasted that night,
stick to a leg workout.
I wouldn't go upper body,
but if you really want to get some hypertrophy in on your limbs,
just stick to the arms, dude.
I asked my dad what a heart attack feels like.
He said it feels like he said it feels
like a balloon inflating in your chest i and and i guess they hit more in the center yeah i was
feeling most of my stuff off the left yeah the heart thing it grabs you here it's like someone's
gripping you right in there i can't wait i'm psyched for when it comes dude I'm pretty fired up you don't fear it? no it's like the ultimate rush
I go to well I haven't recently
aneurysm that's all I think about
oh terrifying
scary motherfuckers
can I tell you what I've been watching
every night before I go to bed
near death experience accounts on YouTube
oh they're good
dude they're good
people having some aneurysms yeah well they're all youtube oh they're good dude they're good and people having
some uh because they're all rhythms yeah well they're all similar where they're just like
they're like it's the best thing ever and you're like i hope this is legit because it sounds sick
like i left my body and i felt fucking great and i'm like bummed to come back yes they're always bummed
to come back you know why because this world is like this is where you learn shit yeah you got
to go through shit here to learn shit that's why our souls come here that's what it is yeah it's
just a journey of discovery so that when we get to the next plane yeah we understand it better
appreciate it more yeah well it's like you're just, according to these accounts, you're just pure energy and consciousness without all the ego and, you know, all that shit.
And apparently emotions just sing.
You know, if you're happy, it's just shining.
That sounds nice.
Yeah.
I ain't buying it, but that sounds nice.
Dude, I read a book from this neurologist, this neuroscientist.
Okay.
I like those words.
Yeah, he had bacterial meningitis.
He was in a deep coma.
His brain shut down from the meningitis.
And he had this near-death experience.
And it's called Proof of Heaven.
And he comes back and he's like, it's legit.
And he's a neuroscientist.
All right.
Just throwing it out there.
I like it.
Hey, we need it.
The world needs it.
We got to feel good.
Yeah.
To me, you're just like this, you know,
combination of blood, bone, muscle, some synapses, a little electricity.
You're stumbling through life trying to figure it out.
Everything you don't want to have happen happen it comes at you at some point
and then it's over
I mean
how's that sound?
that sounds horrible
yeah brother
dig in
enjoy it
you gotta let some wonder in your life
a little wonder is good
what is it
yeah
I like to leave myself open to the possibility
that you know
that's our yin and yang for sure
life after death is fucking sick
at the baby shower we had to write down
like a few words about life
for the kids and I was hammered and didn't remember
but I guess I wrote down life is brutal but eternal
do you see what i wrote down for yeah would you write i wrote down uh i remember some i hope you
i hope you aren't scared of ai and i hope you never forget burbank dude there's some other
more meaningful ones in there but I was particularly
proud of those yeah and for traits that you hope
they get from the parents you said
my girlfriend's centeredness
your confidence
her confidence in my vocabulary
hell yeah
that'll be a sick kid dude
I hope you read as much as your dad
and I wrote it down like I hope
this doesn't because it wasn't sarcasm.
No, I didn't feel sarcastic at all.
It was because you do read a lot.
But I was like, I hope they don't think that's like.
No, that's the thing.
Anytime you're sincere, I always feel like I'm taking a shot at someone anytime I'm sincere.
Yeah, yeah.
It is scary.
Dude, I talked to some AI scientists.
Oh, that's right.
I flew up to the Bay.
Yeah, yeah. yeah yeah i wanted to interview some scientists and um i think it made me
accept that ai is coming that you can't put the genie back in the bottle any kind of technological
revolution we can freak out about it but someone's gonna do it and if it works it's gonna keep
expanding and keep growing and we can try to curb it but we don't even know what it's gonna be
but uh but it made me less afraid of it, too.
Especially on the art front where people are like, it could replace art.
And I'm like, yeah, but I think people really do want the human endeavor to be a part of it.
That's what makes us connect to it.
Yeah.
Is that we know it came from a human, and that's what helps us relate.
But then, I don't know.
Dude, I saw fake AI girls on an Instagram account.
They were beautiful, man. they look just like real people yeah but but the fact that when I found out they were
AI I I didn't want to look anymore so I think that's the scary part is the fakes is that we
won't know what we're looking at that's what I was thinking about is like when people are able to use
it and then trick people yeah you could have a lot of writers who are churning out great books and
it's like it's like Barry Bonds on steroids we're're like, it's so fun to watch, but was it ethically gained?
I don't know.
Yeah.
We need some kind of thing that checks, and it's like, this had AI on it.
This didn't have AI.
But these scientists, they're very naive to the corporate exploitation of it.
like the corporate exploitation of it.
Like they're like,
I'm like,
well,
couldn't like greedy people use this to just make money and to disenfranchise more people.
And they're like,
maybe,
but I mean,
why would you think like that?
I'm like,
well,
cause that's happened with like everything else.
And then I feel bad for being negative,
but then I'm also like,
but you're not thinking about something that will undoubtedly happen.
Cause they're just so excited by the science of it
right like this one dude he was like look the universe is expanding and growing and learning
and civilization is expanding and learning and growing they're open-ended systems and he's like
i'm trying to design a route algorithm that will grow without me and that'll be its own open-ended
system so he feels like he's part of this chain of creation where like the universe
made him and now he's making a universe that will exist on its own and and hearing him get so
like uh captivated by that process i can understand why it feels special to the people working on it
totally it's like a new frontier it's insane yeah like he's gonna make an algorithm that will
develop its own algorithms he almost feels like a father watching their kid be better at whatever sport they put him into than they ever could have imagined.
You're like, maybe my kid will hit a jumper.
Now your kid's going between the legs in the free throw line.
You're like, oh my god.
I got it there.
But it actually took away some of my fears.
But I think like anything, it'll hit us.
We won't know what to do with it. We'll all get whiplash. And then we'll catch up and We won't know what to do with it.
We'll all get whiplash, and then we'll catch up
and try to figure out how to deal with it.
But it is going to be a huge disruption.
I think that what we're about to enter into
is the same as the plot of Jurassic Park.
Yeah.
Like, will there be dinosaurs no i'm saying ai is the
dinosaurs oh shit and we're trying to contain the t-rex but that fucker's coming out he's coming
but then chris pratt's gonna come in take care of it oh the later ones yeah you did the new ones
that was a mistake dude he us, dude We both got bumps
We were like, oh dude, wait, what?
Chris, you mean Sam Neill, right?
Yeah, I did
That's good for the younger listeners, though
No, I mean Newman from Seinfeld
He was hilarious in that
He's great, I love that guy
Wayne Knight
Funny dude
Should we answer some cues?
Yeah, you know, I was thinking about this.
I'm like, do we have cues?
Do we have cues?
Dude, we could always go back to just some writer's ones.
I could read some.
Yeah.
Should I just do that?
Guys, I'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again
that we are on tour.
We're doing Appleton, Wisconsin next, Fort Wayne, Indiana next.
We got a bunch of fall dates that were just announced.
We are out there.
We are on the road.
The shows are fun.
Get your tickets.
They're a lot of fun.
Yeah.
I have a blast every time.
It's a party.
The Q&A is always popping.
The people are wonderful.
They're sweet.
You meet them afterwards.
They're all good folk.
They got kind eyes.
It's a good sense of community.
You really feel like you're a part of something.
If you want to connect with other Stokers,
come to the shows.
We've seen that.
We've seen,
I've looked at a table and like,
all right,
all four of you are friends.
And they're like,
none of us know each other.
Yeah.
And I'm like,
you guys all look like you grew up together.
We're cast in the same CW show.
Like,
yeah,
you all look like homies.
And they're like,
no,
it's brand new,
but they're sharing beers.
Yeah, dude. They're sharing a uh thing you can get your tickets at chadjt.com we're also
brought to you by the legends at manscape manscape thank you so much for keeping our
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him to be that kind of kid. No presh, little one.
Stoker, do you hear how proud he sounds?
You could do this for your dad.
Yeah.
My dad straight up, when he found out,
because back when I was in high school,
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take it to the bone,
but we were using razors, which was terrible,
because you get bumps.
But then my mom was like,
you know, your dad's been shaving his pubes
because he found out you boys are doing it.
He didn't want to fall behind the times That's a true story
He was all like
I guess my mom was like what are you doing
My dad's like the kids are doing it
JT I got bumps
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All right.
It's music,
dude.
Let's get back to the show.
All right.
Yeah.
Oh,
hell yeah,
guys.
So this week we're just going to go back to reading some of these.
Ooh,
girlfriend is a crumbler.
Hey guys,
over the last few weeks,
I've accrued a sneaking suspicion that my girlfriend is a crumbler. Hey guys, over the last few weeks, I've accrued a sneaking suspicion
that my girlfriend is a crumbler.
Crumbles the toilet paper over folding it.
It seems the clues have been in front of me all along,
but I finally begun to connect the dots.
What tipped me off was when she comes home,
was when she comes over on the weekends,
she typically stays in my place Friday to Monday.
The toilet paper gets burned through faster than usual.
My dumpage doesn't increase on weekends,
so I knew that couldn't be. Once I thought that she may be using a lot of TP, I quickly realized
that whenever she uses a napkin, paper towel, etc., she crumbles it up, causing there to be
major inefficiencies when cleaning, drying the target area or body part. There's tons of reasons
why crumbling is barbaric, but above all,
it's wasteful to this beautiful
planet of ours. I think I've got a series of questions
with this one, and I'd be truly
grateful for some input.
One, how should I broach the subject
to get down to the truth? Two,
how do I get her to see the light and come
to the folding side? Three, please
God, tell me you guys aren't crumblers.
Bro. light and come to the folding side three please god tell me you guys aren't crumblers bro i gotta quote gandhi here this woman brings her child to gandhi and she says hey tell my little
one to stop eating sugar he eats too much sugar he must have been a little... Fat. Yeah. And then Ghani says, come back in a week.
She brings the kid back in a week.
And Ghani goes, yo, stop eating sugar.
And then she goes, why'd you make me wait a week?
And he says, because I was still eating sugar.
So while I agree with this guy, I can't give the advice he wants because I am a crumbler.
Me too, dude.
I didn't know that was a faux pas.
Yeah, man.
I crumbled the shit out of you.
First world shit, bro.
You guys are both crumblers?
Yeah.
So folding's the way to go?
Yeah.
Isn't that a little dainty, though?
I fold.
You fold?
Never not folded.
Maybe when I was like five.
Well, did someone teach you to fold?
I don't know.
You know my brother's a crumbler
no one ever taught me how to shit
like my dad
took a rain check on that lesson
well my parents wiped my ass till I was about
12
and they crumpled it?
I didn't even pay
attention I was always just kind of
in my own world I was looking out dude. I was always just kind of in my own world.
I was looking out, dude.
And then I was looking forward ahead.
And then one time my stepmom got mad.
She's like, why are you still wiping his ass?
And then my dad's like, I can't do it anymore.
Sorry.
And your dad's a surgeon.
So he knows what he's doing in tight quarters.
Yeah.
And he can be super exact with his movements.
Dude, isn't that hilarious that at some point you had to ask someone to wipe your ass?
Yeah.
I'd be like, Dad!
I knew, dude, this dude from Def Leppard lived in my neighborhood uh neighborhood growing up wow and his kid would
come over he's first vegan kid i ever met and uh he would come over with his nanny and he used to
take a shit and then scream out from the bathroom he'd be like esmeralda come check my butt and i
just look at my brother like yo this kid's odd days. And she would just go in there and just scope his butt.
And it was crazy.
He had already had one of those butthole rejuvenation surgeries, too.
Wow.
Yeah, they start young, these Hollywood types.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
I know.
A vegan rejuvenated butthole.
I never saw it, but I have to imagine it was nice.
Green.
Easy on the eyes.
Yeah. Dude, I don't it, but I have to imagine it was nice. Green. Easy on the eyes. Yeah.
Dude, I don't know, man.
Look, quickest solution to this, because I can't tell you,
I can't tell her how to wipe her butt.
That's not up to me.
Is you just got to talk to her, man.
Just go, babe, look.
Because it's a relationship, man.
You got to have open lines of communication.
That's the bedrock of a lasting relationship.
So I just straight up ask her, how do you wipe your butt? And don't sound judgy about i just straight up ask you like how do you wipe your butt and don't sound judgy about it don't be like how do you wipe your
butt you gotta be like how do you wipe your butt just real neutral and then whatever she says don't
react just hear her out and then just show her your butt and how nice it looks because i do think
the folding is probably gentler. There's aesthetic benefits
beyond the
climate benefits.
I was thinking too, he's got
to talk to her, but I was thinking he should be a little bit
more aggressive about it.
Like, babe, are you crumpling
your toilet paper? Every time you take a dump
you just have the roll.
You just got to get in her face and tell her what fucking time it is
and be like, hey, if you're going to be burning through this much,
I need like $100 a week from you.
Dude, one time I was in college, and we were at my house cream pie.
And these girls came over to watch The Bachelor or something.
And this one girl, this small blonde, she goes in the bathroom and comes out.
My buddy Mason goes in, and he comes out of the bathroom.
I guess she forgot to flush.
Oh, wow.
And he goes, yo, some chick just left.
No, he didn't say some chick.
He goes, yo, someone just left a heater in there,
and everyone's sorry to come out, dude.
Oh, poor thing, dude.
Yeah, she's sweet, dude. That's kind of cool though you know yeah you don't expect that kind of like power
no from a little vessel yeah just come yeah she's she's got a lot to her yeah she's substantial
she pushes did she hang out for the rest of the night yeah oh because i heard she transferred
schools and just dipped no that's what really happened. Yeah, you're right. I just felt bad for her.
But she literally applied to...
She changed her name.
I heard she's in Witsack.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's got a whole new thing going.
Yeah, she was going to go to Pepperdine,
but then she said, no, I've got to completely change my identity,
so she went to Middlebury.
Homies with shitty response times.
Breaking up friendship.
Hey, what's up, Stoke Lords?
Congrats, JT, on the Michael Dublé of babies.
Oh, that's, that's a clever turn of phrase.
Super fired up for these cherubs to receive a lifetime of infinite wisdom from you.
That's nice.
I have a conunge, conundrum.
My best mate and his dank ass wife recently moved to San Diego from London.
Going deep, going global, baby.
And for as long as I've known him, 15 plus years, he's been dog shit
at responding to texts or calls.
Now it has rubbed off on his da,
dank ass wife, and with the time
diff, I live in Berlin, it's basically
impossible to communicate with him.
For the first time since I've known the guy,
I'm right on the cusp of just giving up.
Loads of our group of homies feel the same
and lost patience a while ago.
What wisdom could you wizard share
on how I can approach and resolve this beef?
Much appreach.
Update.
These motherfuckers even met you guys
at the San Diego show.
Sounded sick.
Keep killing it, guys.
Oh, yeah, I remember these guys.
Yeah, they were nice.
Here's my thing dude I don't think you need to break up with them
I think they've already broken up with you
it's a tough pill to swallow
like I think they're sending a clear message
and I don't even think it's coming from a bad place
but maybe they just want to
kind of start fresh
and it doesn't mean they don't have love for you,
but that love may be morphing into a more retrospective kind.
And that's painful.
And you can tell them, and it's very sincere,
and I would respect it if you did.
Like, hey, this relationship, this friendship means a lot to me.
I'd appreciate a little more correspondence
and a little more thoughtfulness in your timing and how long you take to respond.
But I don't know.
Is that what you want to do?
Do you want to chase?
I would let them go.
And then if they come back, that's beautiful if that's what you want.
But I think it might be that time in life where you just let them go.
Yeah.
You just,
maybe just one text,
Auf Wiedersehen.
You know?
Because he's in Berlin.
What did you say?
Auf Wiedersehen.
What is that?
It's German for, I think, later.
Bro.
All right.
Danke for the good times.
Auf Wiedersehen.
Dude, isn't German a crazy language
yeah
every time you hear it
you're just like
oh
Norm Macdonald has that great bit
have you seen it
no
he's like everyone talks about
what a great speaker
Hitler was
what a captivating
public speaker was
and then every time
he watches a clip
he's like
you know like
yeah
like difficult sounding harsh kind of vibes yeah it's tough man friendships are
tough uh but like it's normal right yeah yeah doesn't make it any easier, bro.
All right, one more maybe?
Yeah.
Dude, this one is, this might be the heaviest email we've ever gotten.
You ready?
Yeah, strap up, dog.
My lords, anonymous, of course.
I've been dating my girlfriend for about six months now.
We're both 26.
I'm much hornier than she is.
Leads me to getting sexually frustrated.
What do I do?
You get a mold of her vagina and you turn it into a fleshlight.
Perfect.
Problem solved.
Keep it moving.
Focus on other things, homie.
I mean, dude, it's crazy to get an email like this too, right?
Because I never heard of anything like this before. Dude. You know what I mean, dude, it's crazy to get an email like this too, right? Because I never heard of anything like this before.
Dude.
You know what I mean?
Like, it kind of shakes you up.
Yeah.
To know that a dude wants to bone and his gal doesn't want to bone as often, that's crazy.
Dude.
That's crazy.
I mean, this is one of those cases where you've got to talk to her and say, look, if I'm not getting it six, seven times a week, I can't function.
What, no blowy in the morning?
I know.
Do you love me?
Yes.
I have my expectations.
There's people out there who would blow me in the morning.
They're called prostitutes.
Yeah, man.
I've been there every time, if I'm being honest.
It's tough, man.
You can have an honest conversation like, hey, I'd like to have sex more.
But look, it falls to you.
Here's the hard part is you can try and seduce her more often.
You're going to get rejected a lot.
So can you handle that
which i can most of the time but sometimes i'm like hey i'll take a little break because
you know i i i just don't have the spirit for it right now but that kind of is the dude's job is
to and look it goes both ways i actually i did have a partner once who liked to have sex more
than me and i felt a lot of pressure and that made me less sexual too. So it can cut both ways,
but I don't know.
You just got to beat off
and try to be seductive
and take care of stuff around the house
and talk to her about it.
Yeah.
You know, I,
I did,
I did,
I did these things where
I was, I felt that way before and I was like, I was like, well, I did these things where I was,
I,
I felt that way before.
And I was like,
I was like,
well,
I just got to become sexier.
I got to do sexier things like sexier behavior.
I got to like chop wood.
I started chopping wood.
I started wearing flannel.
I grew a beard.
I,
um,
started writing a Harley.
Um, I'd get in fights. Manly shit. And then I was getting blowies in the morning. I know. That was a crazy time for you though, man. Yeah, I fucked
up a lot of dudes. And plus we get merch. I ruined a lot of lives. You hurt a lot of
people, bro. Like the ER was hey when you jaws were getting snapped dude when
you bring the hog out daddy don't put people would send us merch and you didn't have any room in your
place because of all the firewood yeah and you don't have a fire place yeah so i was like what
are you doing with all the wood you're like i'm just chopping it i'm just chopping and i was like
well at some point it's got to burn yeah which was kind of a metaphor for the whole thing
here's the thing though
my balls are drained
you were feeling good
like you were maxed out
on getting sucked
and your work slipped a little bit too
because you were max effort
on being sexy and you were max effort on being sexy.
And you were hitting it, but was it coming at the cost of other parts?
I remember you didn't surf for a month because you said that's for pussies.
Yeah.
And we didn't work for a month because you said that's for pussies.
I took Zooms from my Harley.
And I'd be like, what?
What?
Your sound's not working hang up and you
were on like a thousand pound bike with one hand in the air while you're doing 95 on the 405 it was
a little bit dicey but literally i see the girl behind you just like rubbing your body the entire
time you're zooming i'm like well he's getting what he wants out of it i was getting jade off
on every motorcycle ride dude uh yeah you gotta just uh yeah what do you think
he should really do if he's trying to he's kind of just got to accept right that their sex drives
are different i think he's got to accept it i think he's got to i i because i i've dealt with
this too i think i think you have to try and um i mean dude i, I mean, he could J off.
That helps.
Just J-ing off.
Just letting your jizz go.
But I think also, like, I actually did read a book on it
and learned about this stuff.
And, like, I actually, in one relationship where I was frustrated,
I was like, hey, let's do a sexual moratorium.
Let's not bone for like three weeks.
Yeah, shut it down.
And then that made her way hornier.
Yeah, go on strike.
Yeah.
But then it not much really transpired after that.
Like it kind of went back to normal pretty quickly after that.
That's the thing.
People have their baseline.
Like you can get them horny for a day or two but people are there dude also
you know what you should do is just talk to married dudes yeah like dudes who have been married for a
while they've made their peace with this for the most part yeah they'll be like they go a while
without sex and they just get that that's part of it and and look some couples aren't that way i'm
not i'm not saying that's the norm but like there are people out there who are hornier but i'm in most relationships it the
numbers go down that's just uh that's why you gotta like the person because you gotta be hanging
out and enjoying each other while you're not um and dude also sometimes what i'll do is is like uh
sometimes what I'll do is is like uh sometimes it's not even that I want sex I I just want intimacy yeah so I'll be like hey we don't have to bone but like let's go like touch each other
and like lay in bed and like look at each other and talk and just be just you and me connected
but it doesn't have to end with one of us nutting. And I think that can give you a lot of the same thing,
and maybe even in a more nourishing way.
And it can feel less demanding than sex.
Because it's sweet.
You're just like, yo, I just want to connect.
And I think that's the big thing,
is you just want to feel connected to your partner.
But there's a lot of ways to do that besides nutting.
I mean, if you ask me my favorite board games, number two, though, nutting.
Yeah.
Nutting for sure.
Nutting is nice.
But a little Trivial Pursuit, that's a little tough to beat, dude.
Yeah.
That's tough, man.
Dude, it's hot stuff.
Fuck.
What do you think, dude?
I've gone on both sides.
Six months, it's a little weird. Is that how long they've gone? That sides 6 months it's a little weird
is that how long they've gone?
that's what it said
they're both 26
they've been dating 6 months
yeah that's a little early
and they're a little young
yeah
that's the only part
that hit me
I forgot about that
that should still be
hot and heavy stage
yeah
but yeah
I agree with you
for the most part
doing intimate things.
But at 26 years old, I don't think I could ask for that.
Yeah, or even knowing that's what you needed.
Totally.
And I would feel corny being like, let's just look at each other.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
Watching my buddies getting it.
It's hard to like, you know, so.
Yeah, that's the thing about it too.
You can't brag to your friends about it afterwards.
No. But you know what? Some friends you can. If you got't, that's the thing about it too. You can't brag to your friends about it afterwards. No.
But you know what?
Some friends you can.
If you got some cool friends, they'll get it.
Like you'll be like, bro, we were just super intimate.
And like, we were just like cuddling and holding each other and like sharing secrets.
And your boy's like, dude, that's awesome.
There's a few.
But if it's new friends, you can't be like, bro, just like gently caressing.
They're like, okay, dude.
just like gently caressing they're like okay dude
okay dude
SSRIs
you'll never want to have sex again
that's true you get medicated dude
take care of that depress
you'll never nut that's a huge one
that's an interesting thing with SSRIs where I've had
buddies who are like
I don't know if I want to get on it cause I can't nut
and I'm with this girl now and I can't nut
when I'm with her but I'm like you didn't have a I want to get on it because I can't nut, and I'm with this girl now, and I can't nut when I'm with her.
But I'm like, you didn't have a girl before you got on them,
so you weren't nutting then either.
Now you're at this frustrating point where you're almost across the finish line,
but you're not getting that final release.
But I don't even think you'd be there had you not gotten the mental stuff taken care of.
I hear this argument all the time.
So I'm SSRI'd out the game.
Very low horniness like overall and i used to i
mean i also age but still just like not as horny as i was um and people are like why don't you just
get off of it i was a wreck it's like what's what's what's worth like being an anxious depressed wreck
who nuts a lot or not anxious not depressed and, and not nutting as much. Yeah, you got to do
the cost-benefit analysis.
Totally.
And I'm cool.
I'll tell that guy
if he's listening.
I'm cool not nutting as much.
That's part of the
collective bargaining agreement.
You're going to nut less,
but you're going to be,
more people are going to
want to nut with you
because of it.
Yeah.
The nuts are more special.
It's a better nut.
I think that, too,
when you're not as interested
in the nut,
when you're not craving
the nut so much, then you nut more. Totally. Yeah, absolutely. It's a better nut. I think that, too, when you're not as interested in the nut, when you're not craving the nut so much, then you nut more.
Totally.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's like a classic case of something scientific.
Yeah, I think you're right, though.
People want to nut with you when you don't care too much about nutting.
Yeah.
Yeah, just love her good, dude.
Love her good.
Love her holy.
Yeah, I remember when I'd get frustrated, you know, you just kind of like, you have this desperation.
And then you just kind of like.
I start knocking stuff over.
Yeah.
I don't even know what I'm doing.
I'm just like, bang.
There's like a lamp on the ground.
Yeah, and then you just, when you have to like ask for it, it's so.
See, I don't mind that.
You don't mind asking?
I'll be like, yo, can we please have sex?
Yeah. I'll be like, I we please have sex yeah I'll be like
I need to have sex
can we do that
oh that's
that's a good way of asking
yeah
yeah I guess
maybe I had like a
pouty tone
that's what it is
can we please have sex
but I'll do that one
once
can we please
but
I think it's okay
to just be like
hey I'd really like
to have sex right now
and then
the key is how you
respond to them
saying no
if that's what
if you get the yes
that's easy
go have sex
but if they say no
I think you just gotta be like
okay
I think the hard part
is when we get the no
sometimes we're like
because it's tough to ask
so you feel deflated afterwards
and then when you get the no
you feel like
oh
am I not
attractive enough
you know what I mean
but you're beautiful
thanks
you're like. Thanks.
You're like one of the most handsome guys ever.
Oh, dude, thanks.
Real quick.
And Mo's very handsome, too.
Thanks, dog.
You both, too.
Thanks, man.
You're very handsome. When you ask, like, I need to have sex right now, and she says, yeah, is it awkward sex?
No.
You can get right into it?
I think so, yeah.
Because I've done that, and then it's awkward, almost appeasing.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, but I think, dude, what I think it is is sometimes people are in their heads,
and I kind of think of it as my job is to not be in my head.
So however it comes to pass, I have to snap into it and be present and not only focus on their pleasure, but focus on my own pleasure.
And if I can do that, if I can focus on what feels good to me, I think it actually opens them up a little bit where they feel a little bit less looked at.
Yeah.
You know, not in like a selfish way, but honestly, like just trying to like, okay, well, that's what it is.
Let's go.
And then, but there is moments
i've had those moments where i'm like what but i i'm pretty good at being about being like okay no
no it's like however it happens is is how it's supposed to happen and i'm not judging it based
off like what like like if i wrote the perfect version of it what it would be just yeah that's
good just be accommodating i guess and then be a beast bro
and then when she says yes
you take off your sword
you put it down
and you pull out your other sword
you pull out your other sword
you put it down
you take out both handguns
you put them down
you clap cheeks
you take off your
Kevlar vest
put away your smoke grenades
put away your
you know
satellite cell,
tell the squad leader
you're going to be out of commish for the next...
Two minutes.
Two minutes.
Two good minutes, though.
Hey, if you can fill the unforgiving minute
with 60 seconds of distance bone,
then you are a man, my friend.
Fuck, that's funny. Fuck, friend. Fuck, that's funny.
Fuck, dude.
Fuck, bro.
Bro.
Broski.
What's your beef of the week?
Dude, my beef of the week
is this parking garage
downtown.
The worst.
I went downtown.
Beautiful area. parking garage downtown the worst i went downtown beautiful area
it's a fucking wars on it i went down there i was like this is this is horrific dude yeah it's
pretty brutal there's overcast too felt like i was in the matrix you know like the really shitty
parts of the matrix where they're in like a subways you know it's just so dirty it was like that where i was like i was it was so like brute like it was just so
sad down there that i thought i was in a dream you know what i mean and then i went to this
parking garage because i had to park i went to this parking garage i parked in this parking
garage it was all creepy because it was just random. And then I went there and I parked and then I was going down the stairs and then they're like,
the stairs to the first floor were blocked off. They're like, this staircase is closed.
And so I took the elevator down and I went down and I was stuck. I was like stuck down there. I
was like, hit one door, couldn't exit. Hit another door, locked. I went out another door and I was like stuck down there. I was like hit one door couldn't exit hit another door locked
I went out another door and I was alone in an alley downtown
And not only that it was fenced off and so I looked to one side
I couldn't get through the fence
So and I couldn't get back in the door either. So I was freaking out. So I ran
I ran to the other side
I was like, please please let there
be a door here there was a door but i thought i was gonna die for a second yeah of course i i
started getting a little panicky just hearing that yeah it was scary you got trapped bro i got trapped
horror movie and then so to go back in the garage, I just went up the driveway where cars go. I was like, I'm not fucking messing with this, whatever's going on here.
And I just, I got out of there quick.
A wonky labyrinth.
Yeah.
I did.
I heard a solution for the potential housing.
Oh, yeah.
Unhoused crisis.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm taking this whole cloth from Crystal on breaking points, too.
Oh, nice.
I'm listening to it. I'm going to be cloth from Crystal on breaking points, too. Oh, nice. I'm listening to it.
I'm going to be regurgitating it for a while.
Nice.
She was saying because now commercial office buildings are kind of losing a lot of tenants.
They're getting empty.
She's like, you can convert that to affordable housing.
Dude.
High in the sky dream, but let's do it.
What's stopping us? Let's do it.
Hit me up in the DMs with what's stopping us.
Sounds like a good solution.
I liked it.
It made sense to my simple brain.
I was like, let's hit it.
Dude, my beef of the week, I got
tons, dude. Peptides, why'd you turn
on me? Getting old,
bummer.
Hangovers, it's part of getting getting old don't like the way that feels
and then this one is gonna piss some people off
i've been trying to go to the restaurants that are recommended in the towns we travel to
a lot of people in cincinnati were saying you got to go to skyline chili they do spaghetti
with chili there.
It's a fast food establishment.
And I know this hurt a lot of people's feelings in the crowd,
but it's my beef.
It sucks.
Now, a lot of people said I should have got the chili dog.
I got to tell you, I don't want to.
But if I go back, I will.
Because I want to honor your guys's cuisine and i know i've been hard in ohio on this thing but i'm hung over and i've been
kind of in a not i actually feel great but i've just been combative um but yeah i think i think i
think i think skyline chili is really bad and uh i don't want to sandbag any of my friends here who didn't want to join in on this
trashing but uh chad wouldn't even taste it yeah he uh he got the skyline chili and he's like hey
man you want a bite and i looked at it and it looked essentially like someone took a crap on
some spaghetti i was like no dude I think I'm good he went to Jimmy John's bro
and they had a killer
Chicken Caesar wrap
that thing was fantastic
oh yeah
did you tell Strider
cause Strider was telling us
to go to Skyline right
Strider was the one
he like put me over the top
and was like alright
I better try this
did you tell him about this
I told him it sucked
yeah
he laughed
he's not taking it personally
he's not from those parts
yeah
I loved Ohio it's a
great place yeah but skyline chili the crowd was like boo get the coney dog get the coney dog
and i'm like dude like okay i will i will next time i'm here i will but i got the thing that
people said was the thing it was the spaghetti with chili and I'm just saying like
it might be fine but
to all those people
have you had regular spaghetti?
because that's really good
Chad who's your
babe of the week?
my babe of the week is
dude red wine vinaigrette
I love red wine vinaigrette
I love tang dude
I love tanginess I love tanginess
I love that bite
the vinegar bite
I like red wine vinaigrette the most
it's got the perfect tang
if I get a salad from Whole Foods
put olive oil and red wine vinaigrette on there
it's the best
that's fire
yeah
dude my baby of the week is being drunk
hangovers suck is being drunk yeah
hangovers suck
but being drunk
you guys are both sober
huh
yeah
yeah
um
I dabble
I'll tell you what's better
than being drunk though
being sober
living that good life
I've been going to
SAA meetings
so I'm getting sober
yeah
I got a couple days off
from the pornography
feeling pretty good
nice
telling my truth
in the meetings
that's cool
mmhmm
see like famous people in there once in a while
that's almost not fair
they shouldn't
they should have famous meetings
yeah I think there probably is
yeah they need that
cause when you see someone like super famous in there
you're like bro like
and I've seen famous people where the stuff didn't get repeated
but I get worried about them
for sure
because that should be one place where you can be totally honest
but you're like you have a lot to lose
and
anything you say
it could be gossip in no time
or you're not going to say anything because you're afraid
and then what's the point
and then why do you go if you can't be honest
so yeah I feel for them
but yeah,
I,
I was drunk a couple of times and it felt good.
Yeah.
I like when you're,
when you're,
you're feeling that chaotic energy,
but you still color within the lines.
Like you don't do anything destructive.
Yeah.
You treat people well.
Maybe you're like a little like Jack Nicholson,
like demon in your eyes,
but you don't like cross the line.
That is a good feeling.
When you wake up the next day and you're like, I didn't do anything fucked up.
I think I was actually nice to people.
That might have been good for me.
That's a good feeling.
Chad, who's your legend of the week?
My legend of the week is the sun peeking through the clouds.
You know, it's been cloudy here a lot.
I'm pissed at it.
I'm like, why are you doing this?
But then when the sun peeks through the clouds,
it lights up your whole day.
Literally and figuratively.
Dude, I gotta say,
you're like the sun in my clouds.
Bro, are you for real right now?
I'm looking at you right now and
clouds just parted
in my pessimistic
worldview and I just got this
ray of sunshine
and optimism. Dude, can I tell you what you are?
Yeah. You're the palm tree in my
Coachella sky.
Bro.
Just this reminder of sickness.
Dude, I almost went pessimistic there.
I was almost like, don't let me suck up all the water.
You need to stay hydrated if you're at Coachella.
No, you've got like six pairs of nuts, bro.
Hell yeah.
Dude, my legend of the week is Kelly and Joanna,
the ladies who threw our baby shower
for us. It was so nice.
My girlfriend just met these gals at a health
retreat. They stayed friends
and they were like,
hey, we'll throw you guys a nice baby shower.
It was lovely. It was such a kind thing to do.
Human connection.
I've really been grooving on some Uber rides lately,
getting in there with my drivers
and feeling like we're homies by the time we're done.
And then this dude, Jackson Signet, who is a stoker.
He's been influential in the way I'm living my life.
Oh, that's cool.
I can't say yet how, but he's made a lasting impact.
So thank you, Jackson.
That's cool. Chad, what's your quote of's cool Chad what's your quote of the week?
what's my quote of the week?
let's go with a movie quote that I love
um
let's go with a succession quote
I don't know if anyone really picked up on this
but I picked up on it because I was watching with captions
and they were talking about it was like episode 3 or 4 I don't know if anyone really picked up on this, but I picked up on it because I was watching with captions.
And they were talking about, it was like episode three or four.
Spoiler alert.
They're talking about Logan's death.
And Kendall goes, talking about the funeral.
He's like, we'll make it like Reagan with tweaks.
I just thought that was really funny.
That is good.
Reagan with tweaks.
Dude, I was going to do this whole page from that Philip Roth book,
Pornhub's Complaint, which is all about masturbation.
So I've been like super connected to it.
And it was just this beautiful page about him describing his dad's dick.
And he really gets into that headspace, you know, when we first see our dad's dicks, how big they are and stuff.
And it was so sick, but I left the book at home.
But I got a good backup.
This is early 20th century boxing champion Jack Dempsey.
This is his tips on how to be explosive.
He wrote like a beautiful kind of missive on it.
And this is how he starts.
What would happen if a year old baby fell from a fourth floor window
onto the head of a burly truck driver standing on the sidewalk?
It's practically certain that the truck man would be knocked unconscious.
He might die of brain concussion or a broken neck.
Even an innocent little baby can become a dangerous missile
when its body weight is set into fast motion.
Wow.
Dude, to be teaching people how to punch hard,
and for your metaphor you talk about a baby turning into
a missile yeah that is a cool brain that guy's brain is geared he sees everything as a potential
instrument of violence wow like he'd be like nice backpack imagine if you spun it at 6 000
miles per hour let go of it
and it hit a nun
she might have to meet the man she
worships
and you'd be like yeah that's probably true
and he's like so do more crunches
I'm like yeah I will
that's cool
Chad what's your phrase of the week for getting after it
my phrase of the week for getting after it is
hey babe can we have sex?
My phrase of the week for getting after it is...
I think those burgers are ready to be turned over.
That's awesome I cooked burgers today
First time ever
I kind of buried the lead on this whole pod dude
A guy was helping me
Psh
Stokers thank you so much for this
Yeah it was fun dude
We covered a lot Mo how did you feel about it
I felt very good I like you on the mic Stokers, thank you so much for listening Yeah, it was fun, dude We covered a lot, Mo, how'd you feel about it?
I felt very good I like you on the mic
You got good skills, bro
You're a legend
You too, both of you
Guys, thanks for listening
Yeah, love you guys
If you need advice
These guys are really nice
You wanna know
What to do and where to go
When you need someone to guide you
It's nice to have those girls beside you
Call me
Call me I'm going deep I'm going deep
I'm going deep
I'm going deep