Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 295 - Talking Unstable with Johnny Lowe

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

Today we are joined by our friend Johnny Lowe. Johnny is the Creator of Unstable on Netflix and helped write for our parts in the show! We talked early childhood, sobriety and how working together on set was! We also take some Q's!  Find out more about Johnny Here: https://www.instagram.com/johnnylowe/ Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check us out on tour!  We've got shows in Wisconsin/Indiana/IRVINE next! https://www.chadandjt.com Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Sponsored by:The Farmer's Dog - THE BEST DOG FOOD50% off your first box  when you visit http://www.thefarmersdog.com/godeep

Guys, welcome to the podcast. Today, this week, we have on Johnny Lowe, writer and creator and actor in Unstable. This guy created Unstable. He wrote Unstable. He stars in Unstable. We ran Unstable with him. He wrote our characters. He's a freaking great dude. We get super into it. It gets super silly. It's super fun. We're also on tour. We're in Appleton, Wisconsin this week. Three shows. Check them out, guys. You will not regret it. We get into it with the audience, Q&A sessions, stand-up. Everyone has a lot of fun.

The reviews are in, and it's hot, okay? So if you're in the Wisconsin area, check out the shows. Go to chatandjt.com for tickets. We also have merch dropping next week, and I'm super excited about this merch it's like i've never been so excited about dropping merch ever because super sleek clean design stuff you would find in a surf shop except you're repping stoke nation you're supporting the dogs you're just gonna look good i can't wait to show it to you guys i'm like

so fired up on this i've never been more fired up than i am on this merch so keep your eyes peeled for that we're also brought to you by a new sponsor that i'm so so stoked to bring to you guys because it has to do with doggies and you guys know that i love doggies i love my doggie lola you know i love you right that's a confirmative that's an affirmative i you With your dog, you want to make sure that they're healthy, that they're happy. And the best way to do that is with a good diet. And so you want to get good, high quality stuff and affordable that can be delivered. That's human grade. That's recommended by vets. That's nutritionally balanced and farmer's dog delivers all of that i'm a huge fan

of farmer's dog lola eats farmer's dog look at her coat look how happy she is guys if you want this for your dog get 50 off your first box by going to thefarmersdog.com slash go deep go to thefarmersdog.com slash go deep for 50 off your first box that's thefarmersdog.com slash go deep for 50% off your first box. That's thefarmersdog.com slash go deep for 50% off your first box. Yeah, let's start the show. What's your dream? Go deep. Chatting, chatting. All right, let's flick the pectoralis and sizzle the bacon.

What's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep with Chad JT podcast. Me with my compadre, John Thomas. What up? Boom, clap, Stokers. And if I may, I have a quick tag for that. Dude, hit me. Let's flick the pectoralis

and get major in that ass. Dude. Oh, wow. Mm-hmm. Nice. Do we add a food group in there? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Let's get major in that squash. I like ass, but then even more. But like smush squash looks like an ass. Right. If you do like the spaghetti style. Or even if you just take it out of the peeling and just watch it sit in a bowl.

I love it all, dude. For sure. What kind of squash are you buying? Squash? Is that not what squash is like? I don't think I've ever looked at a squash and seen an ass. That's probably true. That's real, dude.

That's real. It's crazy how it's in the eye of the beholder. Yeah, yeah. Have you ever looked at any food and seen an ass that's probably true that's that's real dude that's real it's crazy how it's in the eye of the beholder well yeah yeah have you ever looked at any food and seen an ass yeah like i feel like now i'm getting self-conscious a cake i was gonna say peach oh yeah but when people say that she's gonna kind of have like a little peach they're kind of like yeah exactly that's not no i'm cool i'm cool there's like a little fuzz on it too. There's like a little fuzz on it too. Yeah. Yeah. I like a little fuzz on it. Have you ever gotten fired up from looking at a fruit? An animal?

No, a fruit. I guess, you know what? Have I ever gotten fired up that way? Yeah, probably. Probably. Was it because of the food or was I just already fired up? I'm just, I mean. That's a chicken or the egg thing.

I was about to say. Eggs also get me torqued up. There might not be an answer to that. Yeah. I've seen a squash that looked like a nut sack. That I can see. And that fired me up. Of course I can tell.

Oh, I've seen that. Sounds like that's power. Yeah. And they're big nuts. Life creation right there. Yeah. Yeah, those are God nuts. Yeah.

Substantial. Dude, by the way, we were joined by Johnny Lowe. Welcome to the pod. Thank you guys for having me. We're excited to have you. I love this podcast. Oh, that's kind, dude. Thank you, man. I am not making it up

we love it too yeah you love it too? yeah I would hope so yeah it's probably my favorite you're like

I got a couple other ones I really like but this one's definitely in the mix top five the pod do you have other pods you listen to?

I'm not so it's funny I'm not a huge podcast listener which I think actually should make the compliment even heavier yeah i i like this one i have a buddy who has one called hollywood handbook that i like oh sean davin or hayes davenport and sean clements yeah sean yeah who sean wrote on unstable dude those guys are hilarious that podcast is so funny and everything they write on is hilarious they're great yeah yeah everything they run especially our show our show yeah unstable yeah um but i like

them and uh i will embarrassingly admit that i like smartless oh yeah yeah it's like one of those things that i feel like it's like the liking the yankees though like it's so you know right they're just it's like oh you like the podcast with like jason bateman and willard and like it's like the liking the yankees though like it's so you know right they're just it's like oh you like the podcast with like jason bateman and willard and like it's like liking like water or air yeah it's like everyone likes it yes an element it's more interesting to not like that probably have you watched the hbo it's great dude it's good yeah great there's some fun i hated how much i liked it to be honest they're funny dudes i've been watching the clips on tiktok yeah they riff they're they're really funny and they're all like really kind people too uh but again it doesn't make it any easier to like if that makes sense i think uh i'm watching the hbo show i was like when you can see sean yeah smiling more yeah he i was like oh he's so sweet like you already

know he's like the sweetest guy but then when you're watching it you're like he's like he's like this sweet ball of energy that's absorbing yes you know what i mean so now when you listen to it you picture him smiling yeah i guess being sweet in the background i didn't see as many smiles when i was listening to what do you think when people like listen to your podcast exclusively and then see you guys what do you think is the realization they have wow go ahead you i've seen some comments for like oh they look exactly like how i pictured that's nice i actually don't disagree with that i feel like you guys your your vocal energy right is is accurately represented by your physical presence.

Thank you, man. I did one pod where I talked about, like, it was about, like, dating and stuff like that. And maybe I over-talked about my prowess. And then a girl commented, that's not what I thought he'd look like. And that's all she said. And maybe I'm reading into it too much. That could be a good thing. But, yeah, it could have been good.

That could be a good thing. That could have been positive. Right. I should follow up and be like, what into it too much. That could be a good thing. Yeah, it could have been good. That could be a good thing. That could have been positive. Right. I should follow up and be like, what up? You should. How old was this comment? It was like six months ago. Follow up.

Yeah. I let it sit for a while. I played it cool. You do have kind of a signature gravel. Is it graveliness? How would you describe it? Yeah, I think it's like Van Morrison driving a Harley through gravel.

That's right. That's what he was looking for you describe it? Yeah, I think it's like Van Morrison driving a Harley through gravel. That's right. That's what he was looking for, too. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It's like a guttural sort of low tone. Have you seen the Tony Robbins documentary? I have not.

But I feel like I know enough about the Tony Robbins universe to get down with that. Why? Do you like Tony? I love Tony. I like him too yeah he's powerful he is powerful i'm not sure i agree with what he's doing it's insane yeah it's insane but to watch him to watch him put that insanity into someone in front of a crowd yeah and to turn them into whatever he wants them to be that metamorphosis is powerful he is powerful and

and i know it that to be true because I'm scared to say anything bad about him. You know what I mean? He's like one of those people that when you ask that question, the first thought in my mind was like, I don't want to say something bad about that guy. There's a few people, I mean, not a few, but there's those rare people that when their name pops into your head, you're like, that guy could have me killed.

Yeah, it's like Saddam, Mans robbins robbins yeah he's very in jail or at a speaking tour they'll come after you that's right he's a very powerful crier that's yeah when he cries it's like it's it's like a it's like zeus crying yeah it's not weak no no he gets stronger yeah he's like i fucking feel this and if you collected those tears and just poured them onto your head every time you needed courage, you could run through a wall. I heard they have like little bowls at the- The tears? Yeah.

It's the communion, actually. You go drink it. Yeah. It's also- He cries on top of you. He's fucking here. It can be used as an alternative to Viagra as well. Don't ask me how.

Oh, hell yeah. We need something safer. Yeah. Just dab it at the base yeah you just rub around the base and then by the way that would be the scariest direction you've ever had yeah that's yeah because it would be enlightened it would really know itself yeah it's disappointed in you before you've done right you're not living up to your potential no yeah it breaks down walls yeah that had a double meaning it did yeah i like i'm pretty fired up

on it i was fired up on that yeah thanks man where'd you go to high school i went to high school uh it like i went to a college prep boarding school in carpinteria which is like just outside of santa barbara where i grew up uh it's called kate um. And I was a day student, so I went home, but my friends were boarders there. It was an interesting place. We had a surf team, which was cool. I was on a surf team. It was hard. It was so hard.

It was harder for me personally. It was harder than Stanford, which feels weird. It shouldn't be like that. I went to a boarding school too. Yeah. I almost applied. I wanted to go to Kate or Thacher. Really?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That's incredible. I went to the East Coast though. Which one? Hotchkiss. I've heard of Hotchkiss. All my siblings went.

But I had the same thing where I went to college. I was like, this is a breeze. Breeze. Yeah. Easy. Yeah. It's like you go from college with a bunch of rules and hard stuff to like you free yeah that's exactly right it was they were like we have to break your back to prepare you for the onslaught that is an

ivy league school and then you get there and they're like professors are tenured they don't so they they just want you to learn but they don't it's more talking about how you idea battling stuff they're just like let's have fun in here. Like, I don't know. How many hours of homework did you guys have? Oh my God. I had like on average four to six hours of homework a night. Yeah. That's insane.

There's youngsters out listening to this who probably have that much homework. I think it's getting worse for kids. They're giving them more? I feel like they're giving them more. Although I do know now that kids don't have to take SATs. They don't have to take SATs or ACTs. a lot of colleges don't accept though oh interesting what do they take now i think they don't it's optional to take a standardized test now from what i know i think

we've gone too far yeah yeah i remember to be clear you mean just in this conversation not as a society no as a society okay good yeah i don't want people to mix that up no i mean we should bring the sats back yeah yeah you guys should campaign for that people would turn on us dude people don't like i've talked about it before people don't like talking about sats it's it's more sensitive than money i think people get real on their heels but in i mean i'm nervous even talking about it now right i feel like s like we're talking about like race issues. SATs and STDs are both. Don't go there. Yeah.

And it's like, you guys could champion them both at the same time because they're only one letter away from each other. I've mixed that up. People have been like, what'd you get on your SATs? I'm like, I got herpes. I got herpes. You wrote that on, we were applying for something. You wrote that on your application.

Yeah. I was like, herpes, the penis kind. I think that's two. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The deuce deuce. You still got the job though. Did you? They appreciated my honesty.

Wow. Yeah. They said just bring some Purell and it would happen to happen. Were you a sperm donor or what was the job? Dude, I wish. I wish I could donate sperm. I wish I could. I've always, that's been something that I'm like, cause I think you can do it anonymously,

right? Yeah. You don't have to tell them who you are. Some people leave tapes for like the followup. Yeah. Hey, what up? That's something that I feel like. I need 50 bucks for an amp.

I love you. Like imagine if the three of us had a week off with nothing to do, that'd be a fun activity. Yeah. And to be clear, we need to block off a full week. Cause it's like, I would want to prep myself. I want to be as healthy as possible when I slam it. And it's virile.

For sure. I want to be juiced. Yeah, that would be, we'd be glowing afterwards. Yeah. They have high standards though, I've heard. But I have a thing on that. A couple of studs right here. Yeah, we're hosses, dude.

Come on. I had a thing too. Dude, I was going to lie on on my documentation like fudge all the numbers yeah just be like 6'6 220 volleyball at Pepperdine

SAT SAT herpes I messed it up herpes I'm like oh it's almost burned up

and then just give away like 500 of them and then just have like or a million of them and just have a million just trick the world into making a million yeah

just Genghis Khan that shit yeah exactly yeah man you walk into like uh like like a couple months later you get called into some official office and it's like scooby-doo they're like you almost got away with it too if it wasn't for the sat herpes thing we just caught this one small mistake do you ever have that fantasy that you watch road trip yeah that fantasy of like going there and have the hot nurse do the prostate milk the prostate yeah I mean I don't know if the

I've never done that I was about to say that I don't know if I that I don't know but Sean William Scott really sold it he sold the shit where I'm like it looks cool those movies by the way that like and I'm blending together a sort of a few different eras, I feel like, but they're similar in like American Pie, Road Trip. You can even go Little She's All Daddy.

It's not as raunchy, but you're thinking more of the raunchy ones. I was going to say like the raunchy ones as a kid, like nothing ever hit like that for you guys since did it for me like i remember the first time like van wilder is another example unrated van wilder where you see boobs that's the first time we were joking off to yeah say what unrated means you're just like you see that and your brain just sees boobs yeah and then you're in the back of your friend's dad suburban driving to like palm springs and you just got the titties on the screen. I don't relate to that specific situation.

Right. But I, I'm there with you. You didn't know Wes. In your mind's eye. In mine too. I'm with you. Yeah. No, those movies were, it was like an event.

I've been wondering about that a lot too. Cause even with comedy, I like think the stuff that when I first moved to LA still feels like it was the best comedy I had seen. And I don't know if it's just nostalgia because it was my formative years or if it was because there are eras that are better right like 70s cinema is supposed to be the best like early 2000s television yeah um so i do know there's moments in time where the art is better but it seems too coincidental that all the shit i think is the best is when i was like 14 to 22 i think it's probably a bit of both yeah it was good right especially the movie the film landscape is so

skewered right now that because it's all just 10 poll like superhero shit it's very much i mean this is not a hot take you know this is just very much so like it's all very like two ends of the spectrum nothing in the in the middle it's like you either have multi-hundred million dollar you know fast furious uh you know marvel-esque stuff or it's like a24 an a24 indie movie that's beautiful and that you and 300 000 other people watched and so i think it's a strange time it's probably like as a you know somebody who likes to write comedy it's a when when you think of like where's the space for a non-niche comedy adult comedy even at all anymore like when's the last what's the most recent think of movies like wedding crashers or the hangover or uh even by the way go like i don't think you need to go

that far back to like like i thought game night was very good that was like an adult comedy i would not putting on the same like echelon as those other ones but it was a good adult comedy like when is the last good one that came out yeah yeah i think i've heard people say like neighbors was the last that's even older than that's like 2017 or something now i've been thinking about that too because i mean i know you've been picking in at the at the the writer's strike yeah and uh there's i and i do think the writers are getting hosed on how much they're getting paid like it's just like the numbers aren't going up and and uh residuals aren't there and then the ai component is like hard to wrap my whole head around but that's obviously very threatening but i do feel

like like i do feel like the streamers and the studios are in trouble too like i feel like there's kind of an existential crisis right now where the eyeballs are just on the phone and i don't know if like the marketplace is as robust as it used to be for like traditional stuff yeah well one thing that i do know is that the three of us in this room right now can crack it well you see i really knew i was taking us into deep waters and i was getting way over my skis on it but i looked myself in the invisible mirror and i said you got this brother and you just kept and you just plowed through it yeah and because i've been at parties with friends and i'm like they've like said their piece and i'm like i have something to contribute to this i know how to solve the strike yeah i'm like i'm smart i see the matrix dog and i'm like it's well because even

like one thing that made me think this way too is like and this made me really sad it was giving me my beef of the week is like and i maybe some people won't care as much as i do but like hbo changing their name to max insane like that was crazy no it's insane like hbo was the i think maybe the greatest like uh artistic brand of definitely my lifetime like i don't even know what would be close to it like uh i don't know like interscope records or something like that i think it's similar to what a24 is on the path to establishing they're not at hbo's level of how long they've done it but it would be like a24 suddenly being like you won't know it's us when we make movies which is silly because i go and i'll seek a24 movies out because i know the type of content they make the hbo max to max thing i'm convinced there's some piece of data or

something we don't know as a public because it's unanimous that it's a terrible idea so what do they know that we don't right like to me i'm like i'm like did he make the decision and even though there's like you know public outcry he, I got to stick to my guns. So people are pissed. People are pissed. Yeah, for sure. Yes. You get sad, right?

When you go on the thing and you click Max now. Well, I think ever since like the article started coming out, people were like, what the fuck? HBO is the brand. Max is nothing. Yeah. It's literally a nothing. Max was where I went for boobs when I was young.

That was the only thing Max had on HBO. They had more boobs after 10. Yeah. Nice. By the way. Softcore pornography. You might be onto something. But I kind of think.

That's what they're doing. That's what they're doing. I kind of think he's like, we're going to change it to Max. And then people are like, what the fuck? And he's like, I'll look weak if I go back. That could be it. I kind of think that's what it is. He just slammed his memo down and everyone went like, oh, this joke you know this is stupid right and his head it was just one like

neuron firing like one decision tree where he just went don't look like a pussy yeah this went no I'm I'm serious give me some of what that guy's got I like that yeah I want that single neuron it's scary to think about how many important decisions in the history of time have been made because some dude didn't want to be a pussy. I think a lot. War, dude. Yeah, war.

Yeah, they just push each other into a corner like Khrushchev and Kennedy. They're like, what the fuck are you going to do in Cuba, bitch? Dude, Troy. Troy? Dude, Troy. King of Spartna. Yeah. Sparta?

Sorry, Spartan. I thought that was on purpose, dude. Sparkle. Yeah, Jake, King of Spartna? Dude. Mental out? sparta sorry spartan i thought that was on purpose yeah jake ed king of spartna man allows he's like he's like paris he's making me look like a bitch we keep coming back dude just get sparkles those sparklers are tough dude yeah where even was narda uh spartna i think it's like 10 miles south of the 405 i think yeah i never been he got jammed in traffic brother it's so you're on your way to do those dudes i guess they did they would shine up their shit so shiny that when the opposing

army which was like just regular dudes who got conscripted into a fight they weren't professional fighters like the spartans When they saw how shiny. Spartans. And the Spartans. Sparkles. The Sparkles. When they saw how shiny the Sparkles were, they would,

they'd like piss their pants. Yeah. I think we even do that in football now. Like, I guess. I would piss my pants. Yeah. You pee,

right? Yeah. And they had luscious flow. Yeah. I would die really young if I lived in that time. You'd figure it out, bro. Absolutely not. Dude, I could see with this. You'd figure it out, bro. Absolutely not.

Dude, I could see you with this. You'd see you with a spear in the wall. Unless I was like Joffrey in Game of Thrones, then I'm dying really young. Would you play it up sadist like that? I think that would be my only shot. You gotta be weird. That's what I think.

Because I'm a weak physical specimen for the most part. I go to a trainer a lot and my max out like physique is like a normal male and so i wouldn't be contributing to society much i wear like contact lenses i'm blind um i have asthma like i just i'd be i'd be screwed but what about on the strat front on the what front strategy oh strat front that's what i'm saying is if you put me in like at the head of like a long table with like elders yeah i'm doing something there we go so if if i can joffrey it a wise sage yes i could be and it doesn't need to be evil like Joffrey I just need to command power like that we need a wisdom SATs

dude yeah like throw some parables at the kids that's life that's life that's testing me every day bro yeah I think my problem if I were in warfare

is I would apologize to the enemy after shooting him yeah you know what I mean that's important I'd shoot him I'd be like

oh fuck dude I'm so sorry so sorry that's good dramatically yeah dude you're like I shut your nuts off, dude. That's good dramaturgically. Yeah, dramaturgically.

Did you all watch it? I was just listening to Jeremy Strong. He's amazing. Incredible. I think the canvas. He was talking about that last shot, and he's like, there was a terrible metal clanging going on. Dude, yeah. And it was so loud.

I got to a point where i just couldn't abide in him where i couldn't take it i'm like what do you mean you had to like walk off yeah i have one jeremy strong story which is that someone i know ran into him and um and i i'm not outing him in any way because first i'll preface it by saying he's incredible he's one of if not my favorite actor currently. Whatever he's doing. And by the way, I buy into his thing. Like, I'm like, let him do whatever he wants. He's incredible.

Yeah. This person asked him essentially, they had just watched the scene in Succession, spoiler alert, where the siblings find out that Logan dies and it's that long sequence. And they said like, you know know what was that experience like for you and he regaled this person for like 10 minutes and then kind of drifted off into his into thought and went you know for a minute there i felt like i touched the veil and that was the last thing he said about it that's beautiful and i don't know what that means what's the veil i don't know i have no idea what that means and he said the veil of death this

person related to me like he said it completely deadly serious yeah and and and so so he's so certain of these things he says i believe that if i were to stand next to him i would feel so small because i don't know what he's talking about but i feel like i should but it's real if i was a certain of these things he says, I believe, that if I were to stand next to him, I would feel so small. Because I don't know what he's talking about, but I feel like I should. But it's real. If I was as much of an artist as he was, I would immediately be like,

oh, you almost touched the veil? Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. No, the veil. Like, I see it, but I haven't gotten that close to touching it. And he almost touched it. So imagine what you have to do to touch it. Wow.

I think you gotta to just be, his whole day is committed to just making himself as like, not childlike, but as exposed a soul as possible. To the point where he can't do like normal shit, but then it comes through every time he's on camera because it's so pure. Yes, he's phenomenal. I feel like this is allowed to be said

on this podcast is very the vibe but i popped his in and my throat's getting kind of dry is there a way i can get a water yeah bro i'll just go grab yeah you're in the zimbabwe train yes absolutely this is a six million i saw you do that and i was like i don't know if that's the right move dude yeah i um do you not do any, are you? No, I'm a vape addict. I'm always on and off. Same. The Zins helped me get off it.

Yeah. I haven't vaped in over a year. Oh, nice. Did they make you nauseous? Yes. When I first started them, they made me nauseous. And then I went back to vaping. And then I went like, you you know if i'm caught between two

evils i'd rather be a little nauseous at first and then you get used to it now i'm obviously fully addicted to them but do you get a buzz still no no no which stinks if i if i quit for like a week which i'll do every so often yeah uh then when i pop one back in i'm on mars yeah but that's always nice you know the only thing i still get is like a drip that sucks right yeah you know i always uh especially if we have like important stuff like when we're shooting unstable yeah i like made sure to quit before that because i i always felt like for me vaping will always make me super anxious yes it's really a legend but uh but i do wonder because i always thank you bro

i always annoy jt on the road because i'm like hey can i like hit your vape and then uh i so i do wonder if that do you want when i get the uh urge do you want one maybe after because i'll probably like oh god yeah probably yeah but what flavors i'm in this is chill Like, oh, God. Y'all probably broke on the pod. What flavor does that mean? This is chill. It does hit hard. Dude, it hurts the gums a little bit, though. By the way, I brought these.

Speaking of chill, I brought these. These have been in my car for about eight months. I brought these because I felt like they might be the vibe in here. Whoa. In case we start going really fast. Dude look like, dude, speaking of speed, you look like an F1 driver. Yeah. You got that kind of vibe.

Do I? Yeah. Yeah, you could be a driver for sure. You're a little European. I can see you driving. Hold on.

Hold on. You need an accent though. What, like what area you think? Anywhere in Europe. I can't do any accents. Can you do Canadian? I'm racing for Ferrari about it that's good what about it what about turning the just the worst

let me do it i'm canadian dude like british like i'm racing my car i'm losing acting jobs as we speak right now i could see you for like on drive to survive yeah and you're in the training center you're doing the wrong machine and then you do a driving simulator what i love about that show is how dramatic they make it seem when all of the drivers are incredibly wealthy yeah children for the most part yeah there's a few that aren't but for the most part they're incredibly wealthy children who live the most incredible life any of us could imagine they have access to everything they want every you know woman or man they want and every room they want and then they're like like you said it's like a camera walks into them on their crew machine and they're like like my labrum is aching

what will i do in monaco yeah their physical training is hilarious and i'm like my guy you might have to miss monaco but guess what like yeah but missing monaco you're gonna be okay yeah i guess when you put it like that bro monaco huge dude their workouts are funny too because like when you watch like like hard knocks for football players it's like a dude squatting 600 pounds and he's like screaming and all these other like huge dudes are like get it brother get it and then you watch the drive to survive guys and they have like two two pound balls in their hands and they're like twisting back and forth or they've got like the like the like hand squeezy thing for grip strength and they're're like, and the guy's

like, just one more. Just one more. No, the thing about Landon is he will train relentlessly. He has to be the best. And it's just his eyes looking up and down a board. Yeah, he's just like- He's just scanning numbers. Just looks like he's like, yeah.

The one that I, I like when they've all decided they're like, Daniel Ricciardo's like the clown of the crew. And then he'll walk into a room and he has a silly hat on. He has a cowboy hat. Yeah, he's wild that way. And they're like, this guy, he's crazy. He's so funny. And he does a little jump off the curb and clicks his feet together. And they're like, I can't even, what's he going to do next?

It is a low bar. Athletes get the benefit of the doubt comedically. Because if they're funny at all, we're like, that dude's hilarious. But sometimes I'll be like, I don't know if that cut mustard at the open mic. That's right. No, that's the right take.

Yeah, I'll be like, Jalen Brown's funny for an NBA player. But is he funnier than Rory Scoville? No. I don't think so no you didn't gronk he did stand up but he's not trying but his stand-up wasn't it was it was he's too you were scared to say it wasn't good there well it wasn't bad for he was better than me my first time and he was on tv so i'd be shaking in my boots but he uh but no it wasn't like the other comics i thought had better sets to be clear i'm gonna i'm gonna wear this

for the rest of the if it makes you feel good i'm not gonna do that but at some point you guys have to wear them have you ever gone through that phase what phase sunglasses 24 7 absolutely not should i yeah have you i've wanted to i wanted to i fantasize about it we had a comedian come in a couple weeks ago he wore sunglasses during the thing that was cool non-ironically i don't think he likes eye contact yeah you know i heard it's when he's hung over he does that i was smart you don't drink anymore right no i'm sober i've been sober for i don't know why i said it like that four uh over five years wow nice yeah and your dad's kind of famously in the program right he is he's saying i don't know he wouldn't mind and uh i don't mind he yeah he helped me get sober

he's been sober for over 30 years um and yeah it's that's i mean i think that's one of if not the only cool thing about him for sure so when you were drinking were you like oh i'm gonna be different i got i got my own like kind of i can handle it yes i think i i think that i knew from a young age i'm seeing myself in the monitor right now and I'm so disappointed in myself. You look badass, dude. Yeah. That this looks sick. As I talk about my sobriety, I think I knew I was an alcoholic at a pretty young age and

I spent a lot of time wrestling with that notion that you're talking about where I'm like, I don't want to be my dad like I because he would come to me and be like look at all the signs the data is in front of you and I would be like well I'm not you I can handle it right and then you know you grow up yeah but I got I got lucky for sure you know it's tough it wasn't no you know it's just crazy how our brains like you get them it's genetic you know what i mean like a lot of the things that uh spin me out same things that spun my parents out like slightly different yeah but all in the same family of like uh of uh chaos is it's it's the the line is so direct did you Was it self-imposed?

Was there a moment where you're like, I need to stop? It's a good question. Yes. I mean, my parents were good sort of hands-on parents in the sense that they threw a lot of obstacles at me when I was young and drinking still. You know, counselors and such and and uh but then it got to a point where it was clear to to them and to myself that i wasn't going to stop unless i wanted to stop and i remember my dad kind of basically saying like you got the keys to your life if you want to burn it down like like that's on you. And that was

the first moment where I went like, Oh, I have agency. I, I, this is my decision to make. And I think that was the seed that needed to be planted for me to then get sober. I didn't get sober right after that conversation. And then, you know, they, you just have to do enough damage in your life and it's individual to everyone. But like just for me i it was you'd hit a bottom and go like that's it and then not stop and then go lower and lower and it's like you just kind of hope and pray that you are one of the luckier people that the bottom isn't that low you know because i can remember like gnarly stuff you know i was i just off the top of my head like spring break in cabo with my

fraternity and like ending up in like a hospital in cabo and then you know going straight from the er with my medical band still on which i thought was so cool it's like straight to you know squid row and being like i'm back and then at night wait you know waking up at like four in the morning being like i need to go back to the hospital again and going i'm never gonna drink again and then at night wait you know waking up at like four in the morning being like i need to go back to the hospital again and going i'm never gonna drink again and then getting on the plane home early because i didn't want to be there and then drinking on the plane and then landing and being like this is my last scent tonight and then going on like a five-day bender and then stuff like that where it's just

you couldn't push the stop button no and and and there's a saying where you know you make these um what are they like i'll butcher this saying it's so beautiful it's like the war room concessions with yourself where it's the bunker talk where it's just you and your head going like all right we fucked this we're we're in pain and or we've screwed something up like let's fix it and and it when it's you and your head you're screwed 99 of the time that's why you know people who get help externally have a much better chance of of fixing it yeah because the biggest voice in your head is the addict that's the strongest negotiator yeah it's you know it's there's a reason you got there in the first place

it's because your your way of thinking is skewed you know it's it's a disease of of perception and thinking did did you ever have i remember because i i when i was when i was like 24 i like took myself to like an outpatient yeah thing because i i just had trouble stopping yeah and um one thing i struggled with though was i was like not that i didn't like earn it yeah but i was like i was like did I have to stop then? Oh, of course, man. I think that's the biggest, the biggest hurdle with getting sober young is that unrelenting thought of like, did I have enough fun?

Right. And I, you know, unfortunately there's always like old timers and meetings that do that whole, like i've spilled more beer than you could have drank you know although yeah they get competitive about it a little bit yeah i think it's just their way of coping and um the truth is for me and i can't speak for other people's experiences like i've had infinitely more fun in sobriety than i ever had drinking and so it's it's just that's what it goes back to it's it's the literal disease of thought it's it's it's a processing error in your computer chip that is your brain where it's like drinking equals fun but the reality is it's the thing that's holding

you back from having like healthy organic fun which is a hundred percent been the case in my life yeah i i remember um or a lot of times especially when i first like stopped drinking you know i would always i'd have that that fantasy thought of because for me drinking like helped me unlock who i thought i wanted to be yeah you know which i think is common and then so i would have this fantasy thought of like me with all my college buddies just raging yeah and then there's a couple times you know which i think is common and then so i would have this fantasy thought of like me with all my college buddies just raging yeah and then there's a couple times you know then i would do that after like you know a stint of sobriety and it's just it's just back like like a vertical drop just like a vertical drop but like just straight back to that misery of course yeah

and then you get back to the like because you then then you see like sobriety is kind of like the light but then it's like there's this thing in your mind where you're like but do i need like the excitement of like the that's that's the thinking yeah it's ups and downs exactly chaos is attractive yeah it's lively yeah it's like this breathing thing that's like i don't know it gives you a kind of devil may care negative excitement like vitality that is hard to duplicate there's also an interesting sort of data and or you know a line of thinking around what you're talking about which is the the thoughts are equally as intoxicating as the actual substance so you know there's there is and i can't cite them of course this is the most like podcast So, you know, there, there is, and I can't cite them,

of course, this is the most like podcast thing ever. Someone being like, there's, you know, dude, don't even worry. People will correct you in the comments. Perfect. So get ready to correct me there. There are, as far as I know, um, like scientific experiments that measure sort of like the dopamine response in an addict. one of the largest if not the largest um spikes is like if you're a heroin addict that spike comes when you're driving to go get high it's it's the thought of going like i'm gonna go do it and then when you do it typically as an addict you've you've numbed your receptors so you're actually not getting the rush you thought you would get yeah so the highest high is what you

were talking about and i had the same thing where i'd go wait if i get sober like am i gonna miss out on like a boy's boozy golf weekends like what the heck that's like euphoria to me that sounds like a utopian weekend yeah the truth is if i lived it i'm gonna do something stupid i'm getting a dui or i'm like you know blacking out and breaking my wrist again or some stupid thing like that yeah but in my head i can make it i can paint the picture like it's gonna be perfect right have you have you helped people get sober yeah i have uh i try to be pretty public about it you know i don't specifically talk about the program because there's principles internally that you know suggest you you do not do that

anonymity is the spirit of our tradition that's exactly right um but i but i'm allowed to uh talk about simply being abstinent from alcohol and i like to be public about it because i know that when i was getting sober young i got sober 22 i remember thinking like i don't know of any cool dudes my age that are doing it you know i had like people i looked up to that were older and then when i got sober i found a community of young people and so i just thought like you know maybe if i if i blast some of this stuff out on social media or in interviews and stuff randomly some person will hear it and and they'll go okay he did it maybe i can do it did you have that trampoline effect too like i feel like sometimes when sometimes i think it's a slow road to get your brain right when you're getting into sobriety. But I feel like for some people, they feel that like almost instant unlock.

Like they just got like weights off their shoulders and then they're kind of off to the races. It's definitely different for everyone. And I think whatever your experience is, it will ebb and flow. Like I had a little pink cloud moment when I first got sober where I was like, this is the science. Everybody should do this and then you know life comes at you and life isn't perfect and there were moments where i missed it but i can tell you confidently that after a certain amount of time you're just never anything but grateful yeah i guess i meant with your work too did your work just like oh with my work way

like stronger and more concentrated i was a pretty high functioning uh like person that used so i didn't it's not that i noticed a difference in my difference in my work i noticed a difference in my uh emotional response to work and while working like work was just work when i did it back then but now and part of that is because i got more serious about my life and i was like what do i like doing and you know i've been fortunate to be able to do what i do uh but i'm just more clear-headed and that applies across the board for my life so especially during work i i have moments i'm just so grateful i'm like i cannot believe i get to do this this is crazy and you were chill on set man like i i think um there's a lot of pressure like

you were the creator and you were starring in it and so you had to look at the scripts the direction like every uh phase of the process that's like a lot to have on you and you were the set was fun like and you put together a team of like like we the other actors and shit like we had such a good time kicking it with him and i don't know if you were thinking about that when you were putting it together but it's a lot to be thinking about it was the only thing i thought about i was just like how dude that's what i thought how how's the vibe gonna be can i make this vibe um what the the truth is i was and this sounds like a talking point but it really is the truth is like i was a cog in a machine like so i had help from so many people i my co-creators the

other writers like the the cast you guys you know it's like i can only carry the baton so far uh and i think that perspective helped me too it's just like constantly reminding myself that you know without the crew without the grips coming in you know this i've worked behind the scenes long enough and i was you know production assistant in writers rooms and then on sets and uh i was an assistant to a director for a season of a show. And, and I've just seeing how vital every like piece of the process is. It, it makes you feel unimportant in a way that I think is very healthy. Oh,

that's good. You almost got that Steph Curry effect where he like grew up in the locker room. So he kind of sees what like the psychology needs to be to kind of survive it. Yeah. That's actually a good comp. I think is,

is, is probably you just, it takes that, that, that sort of think is is is probably you just it takes that that sort of toxic self-importance out of the picture pretty fast you know like i we're all just making silly fake things for people to enjoy and like i don't get to write the words or speak them unless talented craftsmen are building the sets or you know highly focused you know assistants production coordinators are like making the trains run on time like there's everything is equally as important so it just it has helped me have perspective because

otherwise you can get a big old head and you kind of lean into that performance wise too for sure yeah i mean that's all i can do to be clear. And you kind of lean into that performance wise too. For sure. Yeah. I mean, that's all I can do to be clear. How did you decide that? Or was that, how did you figure that kind of,

uh, that tone out? Well, I mean, the show is highly specific, right? And that it's based on a father son dynamic that I've lived my entire life. And so I based the character a lot on myself.

Uh, and I think that was really just just there's no magic sauce to it i just they say write what you know and that show is a prime example of it i just tried to stay in my lane dude when you were doing the monologue in the last episode of it i talked to you about this on set right maybe i don't know you're getting pulled in a lot of direction but when you were doing the monologue at the end about like why it's special to have kind of an eccentric uh hard charging father and i was in the room and i was watching you and i was going oh fuck man i was like this shit's so real wow that is i love that compliment that's profound um i i didn't mean anything i said that was my sneaking suspicion

that's why i'm asking that's why you went damn he's a good actor i have that dude i have a lot of skepticism towards performers retired like my me and my girlfriend will be watching something she's like i like this person i was like they're nothing like that i was like they know the camera's on no the truth is is like every i think every actor i was about to say the word artist and i hate that but you know it's art creative every we've had that debate on here. Artist or creative. What's, what's more like nauseating.

Yeah. I think art, I think artist is worse. So I'll say creative. Every, I think artist is better. Really? Okay. I'm an artist. To each their own.

Every, fine. Every artist. I hope you're happy. You know what? Throw the shades on, dude. Every artist. I think that that that everyone's different like some people have to really believe what they're saying and some people can just slip in and out of it is the truth and it doesn't i don't think it changes people's ability to perform i think

it's different for me i'm i'm somebody who prefers to slip in and out of it. That's what Donnie Jr. says. He's like, I'm just a good liar. I don't think it has to be like, it's funny because we're talking about Jeremy Strong. I think for him, it has to be. He's got to be in it. He's got to be in it. Yeah. What was the time spent?

When did the first idea occur for Unstable? Dude, the process is arduous. It is grueling. I brought the idea to... God damn it. Whenever I see a glimpse of myself in the monitor, I'm just... I get so...

I'm fully erect. Dude, shades of Stephen Dorff. You gotta hold the Zen thing. Yeah, because it says chill. Hold on, ready. You got to hold the Zen thing. I am. Yeah, because it says chill. Hold on. Ready? Imagine I just do the whole thing like this.

I'm like, so yeah. So when I. That's the thumbnail. So yeah. I'm like flexing the shit out of my jaw too. I'm like. Hold on. So. You have a D my jaw, too. I'm like... Yeah, dude. Hold on. So...

De-robe, dude. Wow, dude. Just get to the tank. Oh, my God. I'll take my lid off. People are going to get... Wait. I'll take my...

You take that off. I'll take my shirt off. If you take your shirt off, I'll take this off. All right, just for a little bit. Just for a little bit. Don't have to ask me twice since I brought it up. I'm feeling a little fat, though, dude. I think you look good.

You got a tan there, too. I was just about to say i think you look good yeah look at that flex for me oh my god can we see that hold on is there a three shot or is it just two two one oh yeah i feel left out we had frank you can go on here and i took my shirt off for him i think he liked it. Yeah. Get right there. That's beautiful. That's art, dude. I got to feel it.

I got to feel it, bro. Are we all about to be cast in Fast and the Furious? Dude. That's the dream. That's the dream. To be clear, you don't get any... There's nothing cooler than being cast in Fast and the Furious or an Adam Sandler movie. Oh, is that... those are the high like

achievements the high that's like the brass ring to me yeah to me yeah happy madison or or fast furious wait i was saying something i think oh unstable oh yeah um it was it was basically two full years from the fruition of it or from the, the, the sort of Genesis of an idea to the full fruition of it. I tried to use a fancy word. I used it wrong. Um, yeah, it's,

and there's so I, the way I describe it is like, if the ladder is 17 rungs, you need 17 yeses to do it. And one, no along the way, fucks everything. Yeah.

Which is so crazy. I remember when we were doing our show like there's all those steps the pressure by the way you guys worked with the churnins right yeah i love them i love them great guy they love you too i was a pa i was just uh you know just a writer's not even i was a just a writer's room PA on The Mic for the first season hilarious show great show and they were

lovely and have been very generous with their time with me since then I actually sent them they were one of the first people I sent the idea of Unstable to

oh really? yeah and they told me they were like we're doing a show with these two ding dongs yeah yeah oh nice

they called us ding dongs? no they didn't oh that's so sweet, though. I hope they do. We told them to call us that. They were very fond of you. Guess who's ding, guess who's dong. Ding-dong.

Yep. Oh, dude. You nailed it, bro. Damn. Yeah. I know. I've been wanting to be dong for so long. You're schlong, dude.

It's heavy. I'm schlong, dude. It's meaty. It's heavier. How are your guys' schlongs today? Beef.long, dude. It's heavy. I'm schlong, dude. It's meaty. It's heavier. How are your guys' schlongs today? Beef. Dude, yeah, I... That's it.

I'll be honest. I haven't slept much. Okay. Why aren't you sleeping? I just keep waking up early. Yeah, lifetime affliction. I'll tell you what it is. Do you want to throw these bad boys on right now and catch them asleep?

We can pretend like you're... I'll tell you what it is. Yeah. So, going back to the vape. Oh, you look fucking sick now. You were born in those, dude. Who's that? That's a good hand gesture.

You look sick. Yeah. Wow. Toretto, where are we going? It's all about family. Yeah, I want to have a scene with Tyrese. He's good. I'm hungry he's good i'm hungry well i'm hungry too um that and scene was that good yeah man thank you so uh what was i gonna talk what was

i saying the vape keeping you away oh yeah okay okay so going back to uh the vape and then like just nicotine and then yeah that that dopamine rush yeah so i i have like a love-hate relationship with the vape i'll like get away from it for a few months and then and i'll have that it's so true i'll have that thought like oh i'm gonna get vape and my whole body tingles tingles oh yeah like the best rush ever i start cranking l Park. I am cruising. Yeah. Top down, shades on. I've become so numb. Going straight to the vape shop. It's like whenever I, I had this too, like when we first started like coming up, we'd

go like viral on like Barstool. I would, yeah, I hadn't started vaping yet, but I would get, whenever I get really excited, I need like a, I'll get like a coffee and I'll just do sprints. Whoa. excited i need like uh yeah i'll get like a coffee and i'll just do sprints oh so i i had that moment and it wasn't anything in particular i was just feeling good yeah so i was like to my girlfriend we kind of had the same thing i was like i was like hey what if i get a vape for just tonight i do that all the time yeah i i play through that scenario in my head all the time yeah where i'm like just just for the night just the night i'll throw that scenario in my head all the time yeah where i'm like just just for the night just the night i'll throw it away in the morning they're disposable but that's better

right that's that's like a mark of improvement because in terms of like life disaster the vape is pretty gentle yeah totally but here's the thing it's still at the house oh and it next is crack and my my addiction to it is so strong that i'll wake up early yeah because my eyes will just go bing no man i'm like i can go hit the vape i'm in the same boat i wake up and i hit i hit one of these first thing in the morning and and to be clear it feels terrible you're not body is not meant to arise from rem sleep and get punched in the face with six milligrams of nicotine on an empty stomach. I'm going to defend nicotine.

It's good for you. You hear that, big tobacco? No, I guess this is my thing. So there's clearly, there's something in everyone's psychology that wants to feel a little bit off right thank you for like yeah is is feeling good all the time is that too constrictive in a way is there an its own kind of debilitating factors to that because i know when i'm being perfect in my behavior for a couple weeks it stresses me out a little bit yeah maybe i'm just uncomfortable with growing as a human i don't disagree with that general notion of of like everybody needs a vice but but there are ones that don't slowly kill you over

time or generate anxiety like golf golf is one for me but you know i i don't know if it qualifies as a vice i think vice has a negative connotation but a passion a hobby a hobby an outlet exactly an outlet that's right and i i love golf you guys outlet malls outlet malls damn i just went somewhere when you said that where'd you go i went to this mall that i used to go to as a kid which one it's called paseo nuevo isn't that it's in santa barbara and you know what's you you guys will get down with this yeah remember when you're in like seventh grade and it's like friday night and the vibe was like you and the boys go to like the mall or like the hangout area and like you knew the

other girl the girl the cool girls were gonna be there and you just hoped you'd run into you were wearing your like flat brim hat and like skinny jeans and you're like maybe we're gonna see a movie maybe we'll sneak into an r movie but we know at the very least we're getting cpk and you would just cruise around and then it was like one of your homies like girlfriend was there and by girlfriend he just he kissed her once and that was the mall that we would go to that's the the best. You know, I went to a mall recently and it seemed so empty. Which one? Westfield Culver, which isn't the best one.

That's a, I would go as far as a bad one. Yeah, it's a bad one. Yeah. I also went to one in Spokane when we were there recently. Also felt empty. Okay. You go to Century City, it does not feel that way. Century City is a vibe.

I'm going to shot crazy, stupid love scenes there for a reason. Good call. Here's my cue. Here's my cue. Are kids today doing that? Yeah, they're going to the mall. Are they? I don't know if they're going to the mall, but there's still places I feel like, I hope

there's got to have a movie theater. That they're loitering at yeah that's do kids loiter anymore that's my question we should bring back kids loitering yeah it was scary well it's scary now when i see a bunch of 14 year olds walking i'm like dude those kids will do anything yes they have no fear in them yet they're afraid of of being afraid. And that's a dangerous person. There's a great, shouting out another podcast I like, but on, pardon my take, I think Big Cat had,

I once, he has this take of like, there's nobody scarier than like California teens, like cool kids. I believe it. I think that's the right, California, like especially surf vibe,

little groms who are so comfortable with themselves at such a young age that it's unnatural. Yeah. Where like you could pants them and they'd be like, this is my dog. They'd stand strong. They'd grow a boner right there. Right there. Yeah.

They might even laugh. Yeah. But like barely. They're laughing at you though. Yeah. Or with you maybe even, which is scarier. They're like, great one. I mean, they've at you though. Yeah. Or with you maybe even, which is scarier. They're like great woman. I mean,

they've earned it though. Cause they're paddling into double overhead. Like, and they know that there's adults who can't do it. So I think for them, they're like, we'll check the stats. Like I'm,

I'm, I'm able to do things that are undeniably adult, cool and dangerous. That's exactly right. You want me to be afraid? I'm not afraid. Yeah. I'll slash your tires,

steal your girl. I'll take, I'll take the deed to your house. We about to have our girl stolen by... Dude, I went to lacrosse camp in San Diego, San Diego State. Yeah. That all happened to me. Yeah. Girl got stolen by a kid who flips his hair.

Oh, yeah. His name was Trey. Whoa. Blonde streaks volcomed out he sounds cool yeah go like this he was so cool yeah i was like make out with him harder he's probably like the fucking president right now yeah trey he's like he stole my girl and he slashed my tires he slashed your tires he slashed my tires how old were you um 16 and then he threw a poke

bowl in my windshield he just wasted like this tuna like that yeah man because i i i said uh didn't you yell at him about how overfishing is a problem yeah that was the thing because i was like strong response because i was like i was like, you're really going to get tuna? Yeah. We're kind of running low on the supply. Didn't you watch, it was around the same time the Inconvenient Truth came out. I'm like, you didn't watch Al Gore? So he couldn't have been that cool because he didn't care about the environment.

Yeah, he had some blind spots for sure. Yeah. And then after he threw the bowl, you were like, come on, man. Yeah. There's barely any yellow belly, blue fin. They're all dying. Don't you care? Yeah. He was like, I care about making out. And you were like, that's so short-sighted, blue fin. They're all dying. Don't you care? Yeah. Because I care about making out.

And you're like, that's so short-sighted, Trey. Yeah. Yeah. You're not even going to be able to make out pretty soon. That's right. I was like, imagine in 20 years a world without Torah. You know, that's like... Dude, that just blew my mind.

Always market price, dude. They can't even put a number on it. And he's making out with my girl and he's like, this is my Torah. Oh, wow. And they just start tonguing each girl and he's like, this is my Torah. Oh, wow. And they just start tonguing each other. Damn it, that's so fucking cool. Yeah, that guy's sick. Damn it.

I heard he never aged. I heard kids like that, they peak so hard. Yeah. They pinnacle life so hard that. He's still 16? Yeah, whether it's like a blessing or a curse, depends on how you look at it. God just goes, you're done. Benjamin Chilton. Yeah. And then you see him and they a curse, it depends on how you look at it. God just goes, you're done. Benjamin Chilton.

Yeah. And then you see them, and they're just, they're perma 15. They got the wisdom, but they still got the energy, the same lifestyle as like a 15-year-old. Does their mind get older? They get a little bit, they've seen more shit, but they still have the same like perspective as a 15-year-old. Sure.

But like a 15-year-old who was like there at Vietnam, who like was there at a 15 year old sure but like a 15 year old who was like there at vietnam who like was there so it's a curse it sounds like yeah it's a little wolverine well no because i want to make it really clear what you said this is a 15 year old that was both present at vietnam and 9-11 well that's my negative mind making about the negative shit but if you ask him he was like dude i, I was at Woodstock. Because it sounds like this kid's life is terrible. He has the most traumatic PTSD imaginable. Yeah, he's a little bit of a zealot for the catastrophes of life.

But he would be like, bro, why are you making it about the negative? I was also there when the Yanks had almost won the World Series that year. I made it negative again. I'm still following you. History, we just look at it negatively but he sees it as a pot there's progress benjamin chilton was like present for the nation's one of if not the greatest tragedy and also one of the most brutal wars but he was fortunately there when the yanks almost won yeah and he was stoked because he's 15 so they couldn't draft him into vietnam so then he's not checkers yeah he's just at all the concerts that

are being like that we're sucks and he's like for sure for sure well here's the thing too is he's making out with chicks both times if he's making out with chicks then it's all it's all a watch see i don't even want to tell this story because i don't want to blow up ben's spot because he's been good to me, you know? But he actually told me he was making out on the couch after a bender when 9-11 happened. And his girl had the TV on and everything flipped to the coverage. And he said, don't stress about that right now. Turn the TV off.

And he had it like that. He had it like that. She got mellow. I heard he went to Vietnam and he was fingering a girl. Yeah. The whole time. That's the thing. Because when you've seen that level of chaos and destruction,

it feels so shocking to us because it's our first time experiencing it. But Chilton has seen mass death over the centuries. So for him, he's like, it's Tuesday. Like, chill. That's right. We'll figure it out. That's right. The world works it out. That's right. The world works itself out.

Now let me work that knot out on your shoulder, a little massage. And what was he doing when the Challenger blew up? Oh, man. That was crazy. He's fingering at the teacher. Yeah, he was in the class. All those teachers who get in trouble

for sleeping with their students, and everyone's like, why would a 30-year-old buxom woman sleep with like some prepubescent kid it's chilton every time and he's just like the ghost of chilton yeah he's like edward cullen staying in school and finding the next one yeah he just jumps from body to body he just moves around just making your junior high experience a little spicier what was what was your chilton moment as a kid like uh like me with an older gal or me seeing massive death just like i don't i guess pick oh bro what was more chilton dude my parents did i remember my parents were funny because they would want they knew it was like fun to have young people around at parties

so one time my parents like we didn't plan it but they were having a new year's party knew it was like fun to have young people around at parties so one time my parents like we didn't plan it but they were having a new year's party and it was like good but it wasn't great and then we didn't really have options and i was like dad what if i just have everyone come to this party but i was like go for it and so it was like a mixed party it was like 100 adults getting pretty wild and like 100 teenagers and you know when you're like that age and you just you just want to party like an adult yeah and so me and all my boys were like let's kiss older ladies today at like uh midnight and a gentleman never tells but that was the pursuit did you do it i did i did i kiss i kiss my dad's friend's girlfriend but she kissed like three of us wow almost in a row i just love how

fast you fold it like we all gentlemen never tell us did you do it absolutely yeah bro it's true but like i think it's all good like dude like it was so funny because she was pretty and sweet and it wasn't serious she wasn't like she wasn't gonna like sleep with any of us but like literally three of us like flirted with her throughout the night and then she wasn't really dating she was like casual with my dad's friend he wasn't there and then like three of us like escorted her to her car to say good night and like pulled it around and then we all just kind of stood there and i think she knew what the what the expectation was and she was kind enough to give us all a little smoochies and then take off a gentleman never tell us did you do it yeah her name was stacy She was 34. It was this day, and this is her social security number.

How old were you? 17. Okay. Yeah, no, it wasn't like, we were, I thought it was going to be 18 in two weeks. Very chill. Mm-hmm, yeah. It was cool. That's Chilton.

What about you? My Chilton moment? Yeah. Man. I'm trying to think of what kind of Chilton moment I want to go with. Dig deep. Because you like? Cougars.

Mm-hmm. Who doesn't? Yeah. No, but he like. Don't be shy. He comes alive. Yeah. You feast.

I feast, yeah. I'd say. Or you alive. Yeah. You feast. I feast, yeah. I'd say... Or you like to be feasted on. Yeah, I like to be a cougar cub. I like to be... I can see you being a good cub. Yeah, I like to be a cougar sub. Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Yeah. Let me suckle, mama. Yeah. Mama. Just put feet in my face. Mama, I'm so hungry.

Oh, the other little cub, he puppies already got some milky milk. So I think it's... Please give me a little one. So you've never done with a cougar? In my 30s. Does that count? No. Okay, well...

I think... Game over. It's over for you. I went to a cougar bar in Newport when I was 22. That exists? Yeah. Oh, Javier was that exists 22 yeah oh javier's i think it was javier's yeah that one goes off um actually you know what there was a cougar night uh at this bar at stanford actually now i think about it oh really yeah um yeah did you go to that at stanford there's a cougar night it's not not at, it's like, there's a hotel called the Rosewood in Palo Alto, and Thursday nights,

the Rosewood was Cougar night. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah. Here's the thing. I always had an interest in Cougars, but I always looked so young. Yeah. So it's like, when I was in prime Cougar cub age, I just don't think, I think I looked

too much, like, I wasn't as chill as Chilton sure to land a Coug I mean but bro like comparison is the thief of joy like

this is Chilton he's got 200 years of just being the man I know I know he knows all the tricks I know there's plenty of time

for us there's still I mean Cougars that's the thing the Cougar number just moves yeah that's true Cougar number just moves. Moves. Yeah, that's true.

Just moves. Yeah. It just moves. Guys, I'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that we are on tour. Appleton, Wisconsin this weekend. Three shows. If you're in the Wisconsin area, come on out. You're going to have a blast.

I promise you. Q&A sessions, stand session stand up all that good stuff um we're gonna be in fort wayne indiana next month we have some shows in la san diego coming up uh hollowed improv on june 27th get your tickets at chat jt.com we're also brought to you by the dankest sponsor ever because it supports doggies. And you know how much I love doggies. Whether you have a puppy, a senior who's seen multiple decades, any dog person like me knows the most valuable thing in the world is spending time with your pet.

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dog you can get 50 off your first box by going to the farmers dog.com slash go deep go to the farmers dog.com slash go deep for 50 off your first box that's the farmers dog.com slash go deep for 50 off your first box all right let's get back to the show are you dating anyone um i am dating myself right now nice yeah and Yeah. And it's fucking hot. Dude, Chilton would approve. Yeah. I take myself on dates. Do you,

do you like, uh, I've noticed that people will be single and they'll be like, I'm working on myself. And then I'm always like, that's hard to do without. Cause to me, like when they say that,

unless it's in the professional or like health sphere and then i'm like oh yeah you can do that without a partner but if you're trying to be better at like a relationship you can't it's kind of like tennis you need someone on the other side absolutely not working on myself i'm regressing very quickly i'm just dating myself that makes more sense i've been like i'll ghost myself occasionally and like just to feel it yeah just to feel fucking alive um my version of it i because i'm on strike so i don't have much to do right now and so like i you know the other day i went and got a phil's coffee by myself and then looked across the street and saw five guys and i

was like my first thought was like i don't need that today that's a heavy I'm gonna be tired after that and then I went nah man let's do it let's do it and I took my coffee oh yeah we fight about five guys a lot in here

we bought him a five because he likes five guys more than In-N-Out ooh um I don't think that's that spicy of a take I think that

I would still put In-N-Out it's pretty spicy I would let In-N-Out edge edge out five guys I would let in and out edge edge out five guys i would let in and out edge five guys oh but um i think that five guys is is very good still bus i busted do you go that's not what you said do you bust just in general i gentlemen never tell us but like twice a day nice dude but that's like look that's me being like you're not saving your chi

ah you don't want that no one wants that dude i just i'm a mess to be around if i'm saving my chi for me it's just not watching porn if i can not porn it i'm good you want to hear something crazy yeah i have not watched porn in over six months over half a year that's awesome man i just over it i've been trying to get there over it by the way you don't miss it you don't no i do i'm an addict to it so like i'll literally if i i'm like six days off of it right now and i've had some good runs i've gone like uh six months year yeah but uh dude literally i'll have dreams of me watching porn on the computer in my dream wow yeah i mean i have relapsed dreams of me drinking that's a real thing oh yeah yeah and it's it's terrifying

right because like you it's only when i have a good chunk of time yeah and then i'm like because you know it's probably not even about me missing the porn. It's probably me being more afraid of fucking up. And then when I wake up, there's that relief where you're like, oh, I didn't blow it. I didn't blow my time. It's the guilt. It's not about the act. It's your psyche sort of taunting you about the future guilt. Isn't that crazy?

When you tell yourself that something is bad for you, your subconscious gets on board very quickly and is like, hey, that's true. This is a problem. And we will find ways to remind you. Yeah. Usually your subconscious is ahead of your conscious, though. I love how easily we flow from like... Everything?

Maybe the dumbest thing I've ever said in my life to like a very beautiful thought. Absolutely. That's what happens here. Yeah. and that's why this place is the shit dude thank you yeah we just want that flow yeah oh yeah hence that oh yeah absolutely i love this wait hold on oh yeah we got aaron the conductor over there just give me that feels good dudes that feels right aaron has every type of crystal on his desk no way i'm a big amethyst guy yes is that what's on the ring this is just um what is like turquoise what's the what am i thinking of uh um it's like alabaster is what am i working with here that's what i thought oh like color or is it like isn't that what it's called that's the color but is it like a rock

what's the stone called that's what I thought turquoise is a stone yeah oh that's crazy they have it everywhere in New Mexico that's nice

it's a beautiful color it was my favorite color for a long time it goes to my eyes oh make the eyes pop does it have any kind of like

is there a spiritual property to it my mom's a jewelry designer so she gave it to me your mom's really sweet I met her at the premiere jewelry designer so she gave it to me your mom's really sweet i met her at the premiere did you she's so nice to me yeah oh my god yeah i love that yeah that was a fun premiere right that was so fun dude that was my first red carpet experience if i'm being fully transparent like that's the first time i've ever well that's the first one

of that caliber i've ever walked where i was i had anything to really do with it yeah I I was like like uh I just wasn't expecting surreal all the all the press questions dude it yeah I don't know if you guys had the same feeling I'm but uh you know I'm a man of crippling insecurities and self-doubt where it's like people ask you questions and I'm like you care that like you care what I think about this thing I had the exact same thought I'm like i'm like why are they why would you ever print this i'm like the guy to the right has to know more than me about this or is more interesting right you know it's it's a very strange feeling and then you're they're like so what was it you're like oh it's just like you know like immediately go into that when i did when i did the press junket for unstable that was the biggest hurdle for me, was getting over that inner voice.

And there were endless examples, but I can remember certain ones specifically. I think on the Today Show, Hoda, who loved the show, which was so strange, was asking specific questions. Or whatever it was. was asking specific questions, you know, or whatever it was in, in, in any interview where they were like, you know, and Luna and Jackson's relationship, what do you think? Uh, what do you think like the future holds? And you know, that little voice in the back of your head that speaks for you before you actually talk, mine would go like, ask him if you, if he's fucking with you, they really, they do, they really care. And I'm like, what is it? What? And then I'm like, I'm like, I know I care about this,

but they care? It's a really incredible moment because you made something and people are invested in it. That's so relatable too. If you said, are you fucking with me? That would come across so combative. But it's really relatable because it's not coming from a combative place. No! Self-doubt!

Yeah. But that would be so funny if you said like are you fucking with me yeah you're like no we're literally interviewing you about your tv show well there's a way to say it that because you could go like are you fucking with me like it's like you can make it earnest yeah and then there's the version where you're like are you fucking with me you know and it's like you fight them you fucking take your shirt off dude oh it's really funny uh my show yeah it's so funny like you want to watch yeah what did you how did you feel when you saw it hit the top 10 you know that's a layered question because i as in a similar sort of vein of what we're talking about it's hard to just take the win yes it's very much

like being a fan of a sports team which we i think we were talking about maybe before we we hopped on but like the highs are not that high but the lows are very low so you know i can remember seeing it start charting and going like whoa this is cool i wonder how long until it disappears from the zeitgeist forever and nobody knows about it you know and i'm like natural thinking or like impossible you see it at three and you're like yeah i knew it wasn't gonna get to number one where it's like what an insane line of thinking where it's just take the win and get off the field that's great great. It's like this thing where you're like, it's the thing you like want it. Where you're like, yes. And then two seconds later, I want more.

Yeah, of course. That is the great struggle with it. Is that America? Fuck yeah. That's what I'm saying. Is it good though, dude? Fourth of July shit. Yeah.

Or just keep going. Keep building. This, dude? Fourth of July shit. Yeah. Or just keep going. Keep building. This tastes good. What might taste better? Yeah, I do think there's a certain piece of it that is self-motivation. You can't ever become complacent. Stayed. When we saw it hit the top 10, we were on a flight to Portland, and JT ran back to my

row. He's like, dude. Really? I love that. That makes me very happy I think what was it what was that number eight at that point I think it was like when it first broke yeah yeah yeah is that like eight or something well dude you you make stuff and of course it feels good to make stuff and you want to put your heart into it and you want to enjoy it for what it is but you also want it to land with people yeah you want people to care yeah and then when you get that number,

it's top 10. Dude, it was very surreal. Like there's only seven other things that people are watching more than this. And that number hits you and you're like, this matters. And then you just like, it's like,

I'm doing the right thing. I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. Is it psychotic? Nah, no, no. And, and again,

like I took time, I made space to, to, to celebrate it because you have to i was like holy shit this is incredible um and it's still hard to fat like when people come up to me which is not often but like when people come up to me and and and i liked your show or whatever it's my again my initial instinct is like this is like a friend of my parents like did they tell him to watch the show it's still i think and i think that's healthy is like the initial response but then i go like no this is cool they just like it yeah they're down to vibe that is a bummer when someone does recognize you and you're like oh a fan and then they're like i

actually know your cousin and you're like so you're not really a fan you came to it i was familiar channels i was sitting with my friend out in front of erwan the other day who's a successful comedian and and this woman came up to us and kevin hart and was a gentleman never tells yeah you're better about this but it was kevin yeah no um and uh this woman came up and was like shaking she was so excited and she goes i don't remember the specifics but she said basically something along the lines of it's oh my gosh it's so incredible to see you guys like uh you know i'm such a huge fan uh and it seemed in that moment like okay she she knows

both of us and then she turned to my friend and was like and when you did this thing i was actually in the audience and and you did this little dance and i remember the dance and and then she kind of looked back at me and she was like, yeah, this is just crazy. Anyways, can we get a picture? And I was thinking to myself, I'm like, all right, I'll take that. I'll take that. That's a tough one, too. That was just in the Nicole Holofcener has a new movie called You Hurt My Feelings.

And at the end, it's two actors. And both actors are stoked on the show. But then people only come up and want photos with one of the actors and then the other actor's just like i gotta get out of here and takes an uber and it was like a very small but but it it struck me because i was like that is part of this thing like after a stand-up show when people want photos a little bit more with this comedian than they do with you you're like it's sad you get you get a little bum skied yeah i mean it's an emotional business we're in you know chefs too right yeah i can imagine yeah chefs too for

sure that's gonna be tough do you guys cook at all just started i made some burger thank you for bringing it up i love cooking i made a time ever. Gas grilled some burgers yesterday. How fucking good does it feel? Dude, it was an amazing. I had a nice guy, Jason. Big shout out to Jason. Good dude. He coached me through it.

Hell yeah, Jason. He was tender. And when he left, he just looked at me. He's like, so remember, four minutes, one side, four minutes, the other side, two minutes, one side, two minutes, the other side. I love that. I'll never forget. That's friendship.

And we slapped hands. I used to. My girlfriend loves to cook. Yeah. I feel like once you get a girlfriend, you stop cooking. That's what. We slapped hands. I used to, my girlfriend loves to cook. So I let her cook. I feel like once you get a girlfriend, you stop cooking. That's what kicked me into it. Oh, really? I feel like it's the other way around.

Oh, interesting. I feel like I cook more when I don't, when I'm not in a relationship. I would do very, I was very simple with it. Like steak, avocado, kimchi. I'm the same way. Yeah. Kimchi, you make the, do you make the kimchi? Yeah.

That's not that simple, man. I have a huge vat. Really? No. I'd buy it at Air One. Is it hard to make kimchi? Yeah, it takes time, right? You're like pickling something, essentially, right?

No, no, no, no. It's pickled cabbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You should pickle, dude. I do want to learn how to pickle. I would pickle with you guys. Let's pickle. Are you for real?

Yeah. um maybe i do i would pickle with you guys let's pickle are you for real yeah i think from my biggest takeaways from this so far are that we should pickle together and then we're all gonna together go to a sperm bank and donate our sperm yeah anonymously maybe on cougar night whoa you just blew my fucking mind in a way that is it works imagine there was like an anonymous like system you know system right of where it was like cougars were like i want a young buck to inseminate me hot you like that sounds awesome you used every word right there yeah that's how it should sound and then they go i'll take you and you're like me and then it's Chilton right there Chilton

no but he's a ghost and then he climbs into your body and your dick gets two inches bigger than it is normally we gotta kill Chilton we kill him so he possesses us that's how he gets to kill

if all three of us stab him at the same time we don't need 100 chilton in us no split it up into third that's right i uh 33.3 forever that just fired me up i know i got fired up thinking about that yeah not the killing part the inseminating yeah just the word inseminating it's powerful sounds good i'm kind of i feel like i could be inseminating right now in word inseminating it's powerful sounds good i'm kind of i feel like i couldn't be inseminating right now in a way whoa with my ideas though yeah that's what it is his brain shit yeah yeah yeah they need to start saying that in school more i'm gonna inseminate all of you students with all of my ideas yeah that's why i got fired as a teacher yeah

yeah i came in too hot. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to bust ideas into all of your heads. You walk into your job interview as a substitute, you're like, I just can't wait to inseminate all my students with ideas. Loads of ideas into all of you. You trail off, though. I can't wait to inseminate all my students with ideas. I said ideas.

I said ideas. What? What? What? I was being provocative. You have to grab them by their panties. I mean, their shirt collar. What? I'm going to bust a nut.

And then I don't know how that bit finishes. I think at that point you are just coming. I think that's it. You landed it. You just say, I'm going to bust a nut. And then you get into the game plan for the day. Then you look in a corner of the room and there there's a little kid acting nutty, and you go, busted.

And that's comedy. That's all it is. Yeah. Do you want to answer some cues? All right, here we go. What's up, legends? My name is Chuck, and I'm looking for some advice on my long-distance relationship. It's actually going well despite the distance.

I'm in the Midwest, and she's in NY. She came to visit me about six months ago, and we be back next week it's been mad chill we talk all day when we can't but neither of us get the physical aspect of a normal relationship we don't bone and i'm staying abstinent for when she visits and i expect the same for her since that's what she's telling me nice lot of trust she's not opposed to moving here so the distance isn't so tough but that's a huge deal considering we've been talking for just under a year, and this weekend will be our second weekend spending time together in person. Neither of us are in a rush, but I'm wondering how much longer we'll have to plan out trips to be with each other. It's not financially chill on the bank account, and taking off work isn't always an option.

Any advice, Stokers? That's a tough one. That is tough. You know what, dude? You're being a little cuckoo bananas. You're worrying about stuff. You're thinking long term. You're anxious on several fronts.

I get it. You're in love. I say go for it. Have her move in. Take this thing out for a test drive. See if it works. You can always boot her. You guys break up.

You move on. You learn that was a mistake. Is it going to bring a lot of potential sadness to your life? Potentially, but could also bring, it could work. I always think, go for the pie in the sky thing. See if it works. Also, at the same time, you can't just break up because it doesn't make sense. I, that is, I don't know.

That's tough man that guy i think my advice would be yeah they say he's only hung out twice in a year yeah he definitely hung out twice i mean as far as i know that's not that's like that's not a relationship no they're not but she's in but they might not know what in means that's what I'm saying into dating I think he should have her come here she she says she's not podcast to the podcast come on the podcast and we'll mediate we'll inseminate we need to talk to them first and get to know them both of them yeah Oh simultaneously cool if the simultaneous insemination perfect and i think i think also have her come out she says she's not opposed to moving out here no show her the most the best time ever yeah dude just have fun take

her to like the strand and yeah it's not and the thing that's i mean he mentioned in there but it's not about the sex like it's about you know intimacy is like being in physical proximity a person you care about you need that you don't i mean sex is an important part of a relationship but what's far more important is like spending actual physical time yeah developing rapport and feeling what it's like to be near that person on a regular basis yes yeah i mean he's jumping a lot of levels here he's it i'm guessing this is like one of his first relationships that was my sense sense too. Ever. And so I'm gonna take back everything I said and say go slow, don't stress about it so much, and just get to know her as best you can under the circumstances and try to just take it a day at a time.

I had an experience like this in college where this girl, I was inexperienced, so I thought I was dating her. This is kind of sad, but I thought I was dating her because I just didn't really know. And so I was living in Newport at the time, and I was like, you should just move here. I was still a sophomore in college. I was like, you should just move here. And I kind of rushed it, and then it fell apart quickly.

I think that's how you learn. Yeah, I did learn a good lesson. That's a good lesson. It broke my heart. I think this guy needs to learn that lesson. Richard Pryor says you're not a man. You get your diploma when a woman breaks your heart. Yeah.

So I guess I'm pushing you into some to something that i could that i think could lead to that or you could break her heart too and that's devastating yeah but that's like dude love is a contact sport people people get hit in the heart i think ask her to move in with you and work at billabong with you that's what i did that's right i like that i would say definitely get her out there with you would you trade the experience of the the pain that you went through for what you learned from that pain no no yeah you would okay in a heartbeat don't invite her to move it with you just keep jerking out all All right, next part. Chad, what's your beat for the week?

My beat for the week? It's just waking up early. No, okay, I had a better one. Having to pull my phone out while I pee. I'm so addicted to the phone that even while I'm peeing, I have to look at it. And then I always miss. Do you ever do that thing where you try and time it out

where you flush a little time it out where you flush a little early and see if you like you uh is this just me am i crazy like you're playing and then you like are like maybe like in your head guess that you're like five seconds away from being done so you like blush because you know the flush takes five seconds and you try and time it perfectly yeah you want that kind of beautiful synchronicity yeah it just saves you that five seconds that otherwise you would have to... I'm saying too much now. No, I do the same thing, man.

But when I drop logs, right when I feel it come out the butt, I hit flush. Just simultaneous flush. That was very Formula One driver-esque. Was it? Yeah. Yeah, you're trying to...

Shaving seconds. Yeah. I'm all about saving. It's a little cheaper by the dozen, right? Just being an optimizer. That's right. Like, is it faster buttoning up or buttoning down? Yeah. It's those little cheaper by the dozen, right? Just being an optimizer. That's right. Is it faster buttoning up or buttoning down? Yeah.

It's those little games in life that keep it fun. That's right. What's your beef of the week? My beef of the week, we talked about it earlier. HBO turning into Max. It didn't need to happen. It was HBO. It meant something.

It was up here. It was up here. It was up here. And now it sounds, look, the sad part of it is in five years I'll adjust and I might not even remember that it was an HBO, but I didn't want to forget that.

I didn't want to have to tell my kids like, oh, there was this thing called HBO. I wanted them to experience it with their own eyeballs. And to be clear, I think the channel still exists yeah it's like a sub section right yeah but it's like the first like i know what you mean it's the first domino yeah and the last one is the grave that's the last thing that gets knocked over is

your gravestone damn what's your beef of the week my beef of the week uh my beef of the week is uh let me think on it for about 10 seconds i'll come up with it my beef of the week is uh uh probably with arowan um with Erewhon it's too good the lines are just getting too long at Erewhon which one? I go to the one that's new it's open by my

where I live in the Sportsman's Lodge it's like Sherman Oaks Studio City and my beef is quite simply that too many people go there now it's a hot ticket yeah and and and it's hard it's brutal bro like take a moment to be serious on here yeah and then do the parking stitch dude stuck behind 36 teslas i'm just it's like you can't even let them on fire they're fireproof Who has time for this?

Who has time? I remember I was at the heroin in West Hollywood. Yeah. Bono came. Holy shit. He had to wait in line. Dude. Bono didn't have his own line?

No. He wasn't floating? Dude, I looked behind me, he was Bono. Like, what are we doing? They made Bono wait in line. As if the guy stopped the war in Ireland. And he's like looking, and I look back at him, and he's like, my buffalo cauliflower's cold.

Yeah. Was he wearing sunglasses? Oh, yeah. But think about that. Seriously, think about that. He was wearing sunglasses. I love that. Think about the fact that now, like.

He really was wearing sunglasses. Yeah, he says he's light sensitivity issues. No one's buying it, but that's what he says. Dude, he was. I got to end with him on. No one's buying it, but that's what he says. Dude, he was. I got to end with him on. Yeah, think about it. Yeah, if someone down to earth like Bono can do it, dude, you can get away with it, brother.

That's right, that's right. And now picture me, I'm in Erewhon. I got my coconut chicken tenders, my mixed broccoli greens, and my buffalo cauliflower and i'm stuck behind 15 fucking people yeah and my shit's getting cold it's already a little cold too their hot bar is not very hot what what are we supposed to do it's lukewarm at best i'm telling you brother i've been through that struggle. Do you think you can fit this whole microphone in your mouth?

No, I have a small mouth. I have a small mouth, but I kiss big, but my mouth is small. We should take this to Karen Bass. Yeah. The mayor. The Erewhon thing. Yeah. Okay, not his small mouth.

Yeah, I'm like, you know, just go to her and be like, I know you have your list of priorities like homelessness um traffic just put heroin at the top yeah i think that that's valid i mean which one are we going to solve first you know i mean heroin i see just like you can fix this. Right now? You can fix this right now. Add another cashier. Us three, we're like, what are you doing about this?

It's a super valid question. Look, this will take you two minutes. What's got you so busy? Why don't we have another cashier? Bono had to wait in line. Yeah. Do you fucking understand that Bono's buffalo cauliflower got cold? In West Hollywood, of all places.

And he was like, I should move back to Ireland. You sent Bono back to Ireland. He said that? Yeah. Man. That Dublin suck if we lost him. You know who the cashier was there? Who?

Chilton. No. Holy shit. Yeah. He wasn't even phased by Bono. No. I was like, it's cold now. And he's like.

He's like. It's chill. Here, give it to me. With Riz. Warmed it up with his hand. I just used the word Riz. He said, what's that? You got water in your hand?

And he grabbed it and he turned it into Dr. Pepper. 23 flavors. His teeth don't get yellow from it. Chad, who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week my babe of the week my babe of the week I gotta go Succession it deserves it I mean

I'm not giving any spoilers away but I think they really stuck the landing do you watch do you watch Succession not only do I watch Succession I am I don't know where I'm going with this I watch Succession I'm so in I'm going with this i watch succession i'm

so in i'm like on twitter threads and like i'm looking at yeah i'm the podcast yeah i don't want to i don't want to spoil it either but that is definitely a babe for sure that was i think that's one of if not the best show made in the past like 10 to 15 years yeah i after the after we finished i looked at my girlfriend she's was like, that was good. I was like, yeah. It was so competent. Every level. The writing, the acting,

the filmmaking. And it was a beautiful finale. Like, hour and a half. It's longer than a movie. I was thinking about like, Squid and the Whale is one of my favorite movies. It's like 86 minutes. That successful finale was longer.

To be clear, I don't think this spoils anything, but the line, cunt is as cunt does, is like a seminal piece of writing. Yeah. Dude, maybe, you know what? Use it as my phrase of the week for getting after it. We have a thing where we can maybe drop some,

and we'll do it succession style today. Yeah. We'll do succession. I did have Macho Man Randy Savage for my quote, if that's cool. Okay. Stick with that. You know what?

I'll just make him my legend, and I'll do a succession quote. Perfect, bro. What an adjust. Thanks. Nice pivot. My babe of the week is... This cracked me up.

I watch the Defiant Ones all the time. I love that doc on HBO. That's so good. Or Max now. Really good. And they show, I guess, Jimmy Iovine, the guy who started Interscope Records and was the producer on Bruce Springsteen and Tom Petty and just the best music for me.

They show highlights of football games at his house. And there's one where Iovine blows the top off the coverage and sprints down the sideline and scores a beautiful backyard football touchdown. But what cracked me up about it, and I think you guys will be hip to this too is that like you know he gave them the most intense notes on that part he was like you find my touchdown and you put that in the documentary of course because every time i watch it i get hyped i'm like dude he's fast i'm like i mean he's an athlete yeah But you know, there was like a million plays where he bobbled it, dropped it. And he was like, that's not going in the doc.

I remember the touchdown. I remember the day going to the archive footage and put that tutty in this show. And I love it. I love it. It's a beautiful, beautiful touchdown. So I guess that touchdown's my baby. Yeah, it's the touchdown.

Who's your baby of the week? My babe of the week. Yeah, it's the touchdown. Who's your babe of the week? My babe of the week. Ooh, my babe of the week is probably... Probably like Jimmy Butler. Just because I claimed I wasn't a sports guy, but I do like sports. I am a sports guy. We were just saying, because we're SoCal people,

we just don't get as distraught when our teams lose. Yeah, I'm not emotionally crippled by it, but Jimmy Butler, because if he had lost game seven, that's like career. It's a can around his tail. It's the first thing people bring up.

So the stones that it takes to go into boston and win that's he earned my babe of the week he's a beast man i love and i heard someone else saying this like if he would have lost he would have taken all the responsibility for sure like he's just a tough cool like uh leader himmy himmy i love watching him play and the way he plays where he's just kind of barreling into guys in the post. It's not like dunks and threes. He's got to fight for all those buckets. He's tough, man. He is hot.

Chad, who's your legend of the week? We got to the crux of it. My legend of the week is the macho man, Randy Savage. Nice. Specifically for this one quote where he says he says don't buy any unripe bananas

because you won't live to eat them. The specificity there. I just bought unripe bananas literally this week. You're an optimist. To make banana bread with. He just never made banana bread. I'll say this much. I like that quote, but macho man, he just never made banana bread. I'll say this much. I like that quote,

but Macho Man Randy Savage has never made homemade banana bread. Otherwise he'd know that you have to buy. That'd be a good rebuttal. I'm making banana bread. I'm making banana bread. But I'm making banana bread. Can you imagine him? He's like,

damn. That makes sense, brother. Enjoy that banana bread. Don't buy bananas. you save me a piece my legend of the week gotta be new cereals wow dude dude i just went and bought a bunch of cereals when what's going on with this legend of the week right they're always coming out with new cereals now the thing is is like they got like a health bent to them but they still got peanut butter three wishes i don't even know what the name of this one i think it was puffins that's not new bro how old is it at least a couple years at least i mean for me i'm not as hip peanut butter puffins scene i was having peanut butter

puffins as a kid well i just well see this is like you knew about the strokes before me and to me it's a brand new discovery like I just heard last night I'm not gatekeeping I'm happy you found it yeah like I'm just stoked on it I'm a Fruity Pebbles guy still though those are brand new Fruity Pebbles? Fruity Pebbles new on the scene no I gotta try those

those sound cool oh my god I heard about this other new cereal you guys heard about this other new cereal. You guys heard about Lucky Charms? I'm going to jump off a roof. They're new. Did you hear about this guy, Cap'n Crunch? I haven't heard it.

Is that like... He's a guy and he makes cereal. That's cutting edge. Yeah. Like Tony Tiger? Yeah. They're at the co-op in Culver City. Huh. Making cereal.

We should go. Who's your legend? My legend? My legend is... My legend is probably... My roommate slash best friend, Michael. Because he just like keeps, he like rents like a room in my house, like an ADU, and he just keeps the house so clean.

And that guy's a legend. That's nice. Yeah. Do you guys hang out at night? Fuck yeah. That's awesome. What do you guys talk about? Just like hood rat shit.

Do you live in Santa, when did you start living in la full-time right after college so okay like 2018 oh cool but i live not far from here now i live in sherman oaks oh you do yeah do you go to santa barbara a lot yeah i go back a decent amount does your dad drive up for like to set from santa barbara he's a driver okay so it's not that impressive of a feat yeah but um yeah he does that commute he's a psycho yeah Okay. So it's not that impressive of a feat. Yeah. But yeah, he does that commute. He's a psycho. Yeah, because I heard him on Smart List saying he gets up at like five. He gets up at five and then goes into his car that has like a custom built cockpit that

he can sleep in and puts his eye mask on and then they drive him straight on the set and wake him up with a coffee in his hand and everyone's been waiting on him. So he's not fucking waking up at five uh oh quote oh succession what do i or are we gonna yeah succession quotes bro i'm so mad at myself i gotta dip very shortly fellas we'll be done in three minutes perfect uh uh shit we'll be done in three minutes perfect shit this is just

it's not a funny one but I love you but I can't stomach you yeah I really love you but I can't yeah I can't oh god I'll go with Succession. Dude, I was going to do the Philip Roth one from Porn Noise Complaint talking about his dad's dick,

and I forgot the book again. You're my new beef of the week, me. Dude, my quote is from Succession. It's when Stewie's trying to say he's a wild man, and Kendall's all laid back in the big chair, and he's like, you like pancakes and waffle, and you like to kiss guys when you're on Molly. Such a good summation of it. Yeah, that is so good. That's a great one.

I love that pic. It was like my favorite line ever. I was like, oh, I know that person. I'm sticking with Kendall. Cunt is as cunt does. That is just perfect. Pay the writers. What's your phrase that we forget after it?

Pay the writers. Pay the writers what's your phrase that we forget after it uh pay the writers um pay the writers yeah and uh pay the writers too yeah one i don't know they make a lot of money do they i think so yeah Pay the writers Yeah Dude Thank you so much for coming That was so fun It was really fun It was good hanging Thank you for coming through This was awesome

Appreciate you Guys check out Unstable If you haven't seen it already If you haven't seen it yet Yeah What are you doing? Dude NSYNC bro

Let's fucking ride bro Alright Let's go to a sperm bank If you need advice Dude, NSYNC, bro. Let's fucking ride, bro. Let's go to a sperm bank. When you need someone to guard you Who's lost and half-closed beside you Call me Call me Let's go deep I'm going deep

I'm getting deep