Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 299 - Andrew Lopez

Episode Date: July 12, 2023

Andrew Lopez is our friend who has a super impressive writers mind with stories and ideas for days. He is also a comedian and actor known for his roles in Platonic and The Bear. We talk childhood stor...ies and growing up!We also discover some dank advice for a listener together that may change the world. The stoke is high and were loved having him on! Enjoy! Find out more about Andrew: https://www.instagram.com/theandrewlopez/?hl=en Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice)  Check us out on tour!  We've got shows in Indiana and IRVINE next! https://www.chadandjt.com Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Sponsored by: Liquid I.V. - Get 20% off!!  Go to  https://www.liquidiv.com and use code godeep at checkout! Helix Sleep - Get 20% off all mattress orders + 2 free pillows when you visit https://www.Helixsleep.com/godeep

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up guys? Before we begin this podcast, I want to let you know that we got an amazing guest today. Okay? This guy is hilarious. He's an epic writer, super funny comedian, great actor. He's in the new series on Apple, Platonic, with Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne. And he's also in the new season of The Bear. And he's charismatic as hell. It's a super fun episode. You guys are going to love it. His name is Andrew Lopez, and he's the man. So stick around for the episode.
Starting point is 00:00:32 But first, we are on tour. Strider and I are becoming in hot to Fort Wayne, Indiana this weekend. Two shows. Make sure you get your tickets now before they run out, okay? JT is busy with his expectant fatherly duties. So me and stride skis are coming in hot. It's going to be super fun. The reviews are in for our show and it's the best show in the history of
Starting point is 00:00:55 comedy. So don't miss out on it. Also, we are brought to you. And also we have a lot of other dates to Irvine. Freaking Minnesota. Chad, JT. jt.com get your tickets also we're brought to you by a new sponsor i'm super psyched on them because i've used this product before they even signed on and i'm super stoked to have them on board now we are here brought to you by
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Starting point is 00:02:09 you're allowing them to support me and the show. Go purchase Helix and thank me later for your best night's sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash go deep. This is their best offer yet. It will not last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. All right, let's start the show. What's your dream? Going deep. Chatting, chatting, deep.
Starting point is 00:02:40 The Atlanta Falcons losing in 1997 to the Denver Broncos. They were underdogs. It was crazy. They lost to me. Oh, you're an Atlanta fan? I'm an Atlanta fan. The Dirty Bird? Were you throwing that down?
Starting point is 00:02:51 Yeah, and I will say this. Can you do it now? I can, actually. Let's go. This little guy? Yeah, go, baby, go. I can do it. I can do it.
Starting point is 00:03:01 What's your guys' teams? Do you guys have teams? No, I'm california so we just kind of float around but no actually i'm a steelers fan i go steelers why are you a steelers fan my dad's from jersey oh what's your do you have a team which doesn't make sense i should be a giants fan my family's niners i should be niners i tend to go my girlfriend's raiders so i'm chargers are you from southern california too no i'm uh bay area okay okay interesting and so you just never the night niners wasn't a whole thing around you um i think i i think i always just
Starting point is 00:03:35 didn't really like northern california and so anything that came from there or uh except for apple i just don't like yeah yeah i'm, yeah. I do like the Kings still. Oh, yeah, dude. I mean, white chocolate, baby. Dude, the best. Best TikTok ever. Baby. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Oh, no, Jason Williams. Jason Williams. Both of them could technically be white chocolate. But like, I think that, yeah, Jason, there are times when I'm really sad and I'm like, I spend a lot of time on YouTube when I get really sad and I'll just look up top 10 Jason Williams plays.
Starting point is 00:04:07 And I just, I've watched that video a hundred times. It's the one where he goes behind the back and then he elbows it in the other direction. Yes. And then he played high school ball with Randy Moss. Did he really? And he was like, I think Randy Moss was better at basketball and Jason Williams was the quarterback.
Starting point is 00:04:20 So he was like putting up better stats than Randy at the time. Randy is like one of those people too that, I think he was almost ahead of his time. If Randy had the antics he was doing, the antics that Randy was doing when he was in the league, if he was doing it now, yeah, he would be all over, people would love him on Instagram.
Starting point is 00:04:36 Like when he mooned the crowd and Joe Buck went crazy and was like, disgusting. But he didn't really moon him, he pantomimed mooning him. There was no but review. He pantomimed it? Yeah, which is great acting. He's a good actor. There's like, but I think it's just fascinating
Starting point is 00:04:50 because you're from Southern California and you said that you just picked where your dad is from to be the team. Well, and my dad just picked a team. So it might be in our family that we have no loyalty to our home base. See, I'm from Iowa. So we don't have professional sports
Starting point is 00:05:02 and you just kind of have, like I love stories of people why their favorite team is the way it is from childhood because it's like like the reason why I like the Falcons is because my friend Peter in 1997 he was like one of my best friends and I fucking hated him he just was a such a little piece of shit and he loved the Broncos so during the Super Bowl I was like I'm gonna pick the team just being devil's advocate yeah and I was like Falcons forever because we never had a team that was like forced upon me. So that was a great team too. Yeah. Chris Chandler, Jamal Anderson. What was the defender's name?
Starting point is 00:05:34 Like Tuggle? Yes. Or something like that. Forced a lot of fumbles. Something like that. Yeah. Who else? There was a, who was the, who was the, Tim Dw Dwight He opened the Super Bowl That year Dude we talk about Tim Dwight all the time I love Tim Dwight White chocolate baby Fastest white guy of all time
Starting point is 00:05:50 Yes dude And if you played Madden And you put him at quarterback You could just run like A QB Scramble every play The best And it was unstoppable
Starting point is 00:05:57 I used to have this Pop punk band In college And our band name Was Tim Dwight Yeah he's really a legend With a certain generation Yeah dude
Starting point is 00:06:04 White people And Asians with blonde hair Love Tim Dwight. Yeah, he's really a legend with a certain generation. Yeah, dude. White people and Asians with blonde hair love Tim Dwight. That's a huge demographic. Wait, so are you a Hawkeyes fan? Did you go to Iowa? I went to Iowa State, so I'm a State fan. But dude, I'm a fan of anybody. I'm a fan of all sports. I never like...
Starting point is 00:06:16 Seneca Wallace? Yeah, I'm a big Seneca Wallace fan. But Brad Banks also, who was... Great guy. Great guy, dude. And honestly, I think if anybody's listening or watching from Iowa, I'm sure you guys will get this, and I don't know if you feel this, but there's that fun thing of if I went to Iowa State, I'm like, fuck the Hawks.
Starting point is 00:06:32 And if everybody in Iowa is like, fuck Iowa State. But in reality, it's like I just root for anybody from Iowa. So I love both. That makes me crack up. When we travel for stand-up, the individual towns within a state all dislike each other, even though they're kind of impossible to differentiate between themselves. And then I'm like, aren't, shouldn't you guys all just be in it together as like Wisconsinites, but no, or like Ohioans, but they want to rival with who's ever 30 miles down the road.
Starting point is 00:06:59 Yeah. And they always do like weird, like there's always like lores. I don't know if you guys hear the lores when you go to the towns, but they're like, the cannon is pointed at knoxville iowa like and they have like a little statue you know like it was like because you know because we hate them and but it's it's i wonder though if i only am romanticizing it and we're romanticizing it because we're we're not there from there we're not yeah we're liketle differences. It's so fun too. I remember high school rivalries.
Starting point is 00:07:28 When they would come. What was our high school? It was Kent. These guys. But they would come and you'd just fuck with them all day. The best time ever. Did you go to a big school or a small school? I went to a boarding school. Did you guys ever have it where the girls from your school would date the guys from the rival high school yeah so we had this neighboring school salisbury all dudes so we had a lot of competition you know that they wanted to do anything they could do to
Starting point is 00:07:54 fuck oh dude they were coming in hot yeah bro like there's like a little alarm they'd be like salisbury dudes are on campus damn what did you what did you the salt what did you guys like make fun of them some way like salisbury steaks yeah you just Damn. What did you, what did you, the Sal, what did you guys like make fun of him some way? Like Salisbury steaks or something? Yeah. You just had to clown on him hard, you know, just throw him in the trash or whatever. There was,
Starting point is 00:08:09 that's, that's real. It's like so weird. Cause it's like, we, I went to a place called Pella and our mascot was Pella Dutch. And then our rival to us was always Pella Christian, which is just the school across.
Starting point is 00:08:23 But then like, I think the reason why I like all of us, I kind of reason why, like, all of us, like, kind of hated them is because, like, all of the girls in our class would just date all those guys from Pella Christian because they were, like, nice guys. Good dudes. Good dudes. You know, they were good dudes. But then I think that they also, like, were, like, they were jerking off a lot.
Starting point is 00:08:42 And you guys weren't? No, we were, too. But we had to have, yeah, it was different. Theirs was, like, anal jerking off a lot. And you guys weren't? No, we were too, but we had to have, yeah, it was different. Theirs was like anal jerking off. What? Oh, like watching it? Because they're Christians. Oh, they were fingering their butts?
Starting point is 00:08:53 I don't know. I mean, that might've been a rumor. The whole school? Things can catch on like that. Maybe I'm starting rivalry talk again. I don't know. Well, that's a loophole. That's a loophole.
Starting point is 00:09:01 That's something you can chant at the football game. It is a loophole. Yeah, butt bangers. Using a butthole, butthole loophole. It's a loophole. That's something you can change at the football game. It is a loophole. Yeah, butt bangers. Using a butthole. Butthole loophole. That was big. I thought you could tell by their energy who's depleted. That guy has nothing in the chamber.
Starting point is 00:09:15 Yeah, I mean, I jerk off a lot and I have a lot of energy. We were talking about that. But I also. Yeah, I would feel like you have a lot of chi. Yeah. Do you jerk off a lot? Yeah. You know, I'd say I'm able to get it down because I had a point in my 20s
Starting point is 00:09:32 where I watched all these like no fat videos. And it got in my head where I'm like, if I bust a lot, then I'll lose energy. And now I don't really believe that anymore. But there's still that shame. Yeah. And so now I try to do it like probably like three or four times a week that's good yeah that's good yeah it's good to to also track progress in any shape or form you know absolutely yeah and like you know i i go in spurts of like ups and downs where it's like sometimes like if
Starting point is 00:10:00 i do a thing it's like it's almost like a slippery slope like if i do like i try not to and i'm trying to cut porn out i'm trying to do as much as i can to better myself just generally yeah but if i like go two weeks say without jacking off and then i open up that seal there's like four days of me like almost making up for those two weeks and so like i i think once i recognize that it's i have to like kind of slow down the well what's the downside of it not not that I think of drinking on stop but I do think it's interesting to kind of like investigate the why of it yeah I think I think it's less of the action and more of the reason like I think the
Starting point is 00:10:40 impulse control or what am i running away from that I'm fearing so it's like I have some work that I should be doing or I even should call my parents. And instead, I'll find some instant gratification for myself. It's almost selfish. You're soothing. Yeah. And even I like sometimes I'll like it's weird if you're like using your phone to look at porn. And then you're just like while you're searching for videos or like girls given BJs.
Starting point is 00:11:03 And then all of a sudden you're getting all these like text pop-ups of like, call me back. Like, I'd really love to hear from you. And you're just seeing in real time on top of the video of all of the things I'm running from. Right. You know,
Starting point is 00:11:14 and I think that's kind of what I, I was at a meeting like a week or two ago for people who want to stop jacking off basically. And I was like, I don't know. I was kind of frustrated by the entire process. And I was trying to be honest. Even if it came at the expense of like the collective energy in the room, but I was like,
Starting point is 00:11:30 do I even need to stop jacking off? Like, is it so bad if I do watch a lot of porn? Like, if I can still function sexually, if I'm still available to my friends and family, if I'm still working hard, is it so bad if the thing I use to be able to do those things is masturbating? And I do think I'll come like, I go in and out of it too, but it's, I don't know. It's like, I don't know why I necessarily need to stop sometimes if I'm not doing anything that's like super bad for myself. And by most metrics I'm doing okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Yeah. I mean, I, I, I think it's all like dependent on the person too because there's there's a part of me that also wonders how much it takes away like i think that the world right now is is it doesn't take things as sacred as they used to so like i think nihilism exists so much more than ever which is why i fucking love you guys because like you guys celebrate the idea of celebration and celebrate the idea of the idea that everybody could be awesome and that but instead most of the internet is so nihilistic or even like humor so nihilistic now that i wonder the more porn i watch the more i jerk off
Starting point is 00:12:38 the more i start to take for granted connection in some general way of sex, whether it's with myself or how accessible it is or why I should have it or if I'm worthy of it. And I find that like, to me personally, at this point at 33 years old, I find that sex is something I want to keep sacred with people. So what if you were watching porn with someone you really cared about?
Starting point is 00:13:01 Awesome. That's fucking dope as hell. That's right. Cause it's cause there's still a connection at the root of it yeah doing anything with somebody that you really care about is awesome so it's like and to get to that level you must have communicated to get there yeah and then so like but if i'm just gonna like open up x hamster and look up like indian girl girlfriend blowjob because i want to have like because i'm horny like i think that excessive like that is so lonely and selfish to me it's like it's instant gratification it's almost a drug it's me it's
Starting point is 00:13:31 totally a drug you know and not to say that that anybody that's doing that's wrong and at moderation that's fine i just think that personally i think what it's doing to my psyche is what it's kind of like to what you're saying i think that like you might not be hurting anybody, but. You might be hurting yourself. Yes. Is there something that could, is there progress that could be, I don't know. They talk about that in that David Foster Wallace movie ended the tour where his, and he basically predicted this, where he was basically like, look,
Starting point is 00:13:58 porn is going to get so good that you're going to be able to feel immense personal pleasure at all times. And that can be really spiritually damaging. And so it's okay in moderation, but you can't do too much of it i guess i'm just trying not to beat myself up too much because i am watching a lot of porn right now but i also i know it's a problem but i know i can fix it and i don't want to feel worse because i'm making a mistake i don't know if that helps me i think a lot of it i think it's a lot a mental thing because it's interesting because it's like with i guess with masturbation if you if you try not to if you try not to jack off a lot it's like with drugs smoking you know that no drugs no smoking is like undeniably better for you for your health yeah right masturbation that's like a natural thing so it's that's why it's a head trip because you know sometimes like i went
Starting point is 00:14:45 for like 30 days without jacking off and that's amazing i had a lot of energy but uh i think i anger you know a lot of frustration but um so then i'm like well how often should i bust nuts what's what like what what is the right amount? What's the number? I don't know, but then with porn, I did get off porn for 30 days. That's amazing. And then when I watched it for the first time,
Starting point is 00:15:12 my head like exploded. You were going organic for a while. Dude. Yeah. And so that, but, but back to what you were saying, like keeping sex safer.
Starting point is 00:15:19 Did you have the thing where you had the hundreds of tabs open? Cause you're just looking through a lot of. Oh yeah. Oh dude. I love the tab line when you get in it yeah you look at the time i want to find that right moment you're like oh i want to find this yeah yeah i like it when they look like they like yeah yeah it's beautiful it's always better celebrating connection at all times yeah i don't like it it's just like you take that
Starting point is 00:15:41 yeah yeah this is great and he's like thank you i just why I like the amateur stuff, because there was usually some communication. And they're just like, I really like you. It's a couple. Yeah, it's a couple. They built a life together. Yeah. And, you know, there's like, you can just see it in, literally when porn, when the two people like each other, it's always shot in HD, like the room's like alive.
Starting point is 00:16:02 Like, it just looks that way. I'm sorry, I interrupted you. No, no, you're on a good, I think, what was I thinking? Produce porn, sacred, tabs open. Yeah, I mean, sometimes I'll just get bored, which is a weird thing in our society, but I'll just get bored and I'll just search butthole. You know, and so you'll just see a butthole.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Just for fun. What pops up first on that sometimes it's dudes absolutely it's gotta be yeah and sometimes i can't tell which is fun that's fine but you know i'll be i'll be on the i-10 you know i'll just be cruising just like that yep that's a butthole do you do butthole uh two or one word? Oh, one word, one word. One word. What do you do? I think it's two words.
Starting point is 00:16:47 You did two? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's one word? No, because there's the but and then there's the hole. Maybe that'd get better results for me. Yeah, we should check. Is manhole one or two words? Manhole?
Starting point is 00:16:57 One word. One word. Right. Yeah. I think hole is just a, is it suffix? No, it could be a noun. Look at that hole. No, but doesn't suffix? No, it could be a noun. Look at that hole.
Starting point is 00:17:09 No, but doesn't suffix just mean the second part of a word? Oh, oh, in butthole. Yes. Huh. Come again. Yeah, yeah. Wow, I just learned something, dude. I mean, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:22 I mean, but because there's the, is the butt the whole thing? No. It's just the cheeks. Yeah. Well, it's, oh, right. No, the butt is. The whole No. It's just the cheeks. Yeah. Well, it's the... Oh, right. No, the butt is... The whole thing. It encompasses all of it.
Starting point is 00:17:29 So you don't even need to say whole then. Because it's butt. You could just be like, it's in the butt. Well, is butt cheeks two words? I think it's one. Whoa. I don't know. I would think it's two.
Starting point is 00:17:37 I'm torn on, actually. Is foot job... But here's the thing. If butt cheeks is two words, then butt hole should be two words, then two. That's true. I don't know if that's necessarily true. Why wouldn't that be true? Because there's two cheeks.
Starting point is 00:17:47 The plural. There's a plural. Butt cheek? But you wouldn't do butt cheeks two words and then butt cheek one word. No, but I would do this. Butt hole one word, butt holes two words. Butt holes. Yeah, the plural.
Starting point is 00:18:00 Okay, and I guess butt is two T's, right? For sure. okay and we're talking and i guess but is two t's right so it's like but see that's the reason why you put two t's in there is to make it one word yes well i guess but and but i don't know but foot job foot job one or two one word how many you guys want um one word one word one word foot job one word that's the first thing I saw porn was. Was a foot job? Foot job. Me too.
Starting point is 00:18:26 Yeah. Did you like that? No. No, I didn't. That wasn't my intention. And I was like, this is what- How is that the first thing? I don't know, but I was like, this is what adults do.
Starting point is 00:18:34 That's what, I think when you're a teenager or a 13 year old, you don't do anything traditionally. When I drank, I drank four different kinds of booze my first time. You think everything extreme is the norm or what adults must be doing. Yeah. I used to, uh, when I was a kid,
Starting point is 00:18:51 cause I'm, I was born in 1990. So when I was a kid, I had an older brother who was the shit. I love him. He's like, you know, I think when you have an older brother at that time,
Starting point is 00:18:59 that was like kind of pre internet as we know it, most of your taste is based off of what your older brother likes. Same for me. Yeah, so it was like, you know, he was showing me Slipknot, and he was showing me, like, StarCraft Battle.net. And, you know, I remember my first exposure to basically, like, porn was I was nine years old on chat rooms, like on Battle.net, or, like, you know, Yahoo chat room or something,
Starting point is 00:19:22 pretending to be a girl on the internet. And I was just, like, a nine-year-old boy in iowa and i'd just be like you know asl or whatever and these guys would like send a naked picture and they were just i they might have been kids too but i assumed they were 40 year old men and i was pretending to be like an 18 year old girl and i would just google like naked girl and then send them that picture and uh my first uh and they would send pictures back and now i look back on that and i it's insane that i was part of that like that was a real i i was just getting sent and i thought it was funny you know it's like what you're saying because i was nine i was like look at these guys sending their dicks to a fucking nine-year-old boy who
Starting point is 00:20:04 thinks that they're eight. And then like, because my brain, like you're saying, didn't understand even what was happening. Right. Like, you know, like I just thought it was funny to pretend to be a girl. That is funny. It is. It is funny. And it's like, but it's weird.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Or it's exciting. Yeah. But it was like, yeah, it was, and it was new and weird. And I guess we were just roasting them, which is kind of fucking weird. That chat room era was epic. Did you guys ever do that? Oh, yeah. I would go into like lesbian chat rooms and be like, I'm a lesbian.
Starting point is 00:20:33 Yeah. I went into a lesbian chat. I said, send me a photo of you. She sent me a photo. Well, he probably sent me a photo of her getting boned by a guy. It was clearly a porn photo. And I pretended to be upset and be like, I thought you were gay.
Starting point is 00:20:48 That's really funny. And then they went into apology mode. They're like, I'm so sorry. I don't know who that guy was. Get out of here. Were you guys on Instant Messenger? Yes. Dude. I remember my crush was on there.
Starting point is 00:21:01 So I would always, that sound of the door opening, and I would always be like, ooh, she's on and they were like three or four times when i tried to like get in touch with her yeah which one did you guys use at your high school yeah well we did msn messenger oh you did oh interesting yeah did you guys like because like we had different screen you can only have one screen name right that was yeah we had different ones so like when you would date somebody you would change it like so like i had your girlfriend's name yeah it was like andrew hart shannon that's lovely yeah and i would never talk to them in real life but yeah it was so crazy that's amazing i think my uh i don't know what you guys have you remember your old email addresses from back when i had sexymon21 mr jose
Starting point is 00:21:42 cuervo and in another grotesque one that I will not repeat. It wasn't that bad. Mr. Jose Cuervo? Yeah. Had you started drinking yet? No, not at all. I just thought it was cool. And then when I got to high school, people picked on me about it, and I went to JT492.
Starting point is 00:21:57 Oh, that's good. That one's cool. Yeah, it was more solid. Yeah, that's cool. It'd be funny if you change your Instagram now to Mr. Jose Cuervo. Yeah. Or I gave my brother, the name of my business company is actually this, but I gave my brother a screen name in seventh grade and it was Paintball and Ladies.
Starting point is 00:22:12 That's your LLC? Yeah, I was like, those are the two things you're into, bro. Paintball and Ladies. Paintball and Ladies. Yeah, that's my LLC now. Paintball and, I mean, that is sick. It is sick, right? Your brother's dope, bro.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Cool ass brother, dude. He's fucking cool. He's one of the cheapest. Going back, it's like, yeah, was he older brother or younger brother? Younger, 22 months. Dang, that that is sick. Your brother's dope, bro. Cool-ass brother, dude. Was he an older brother or younger brother? Younger, 22 months. Dang, that's so sick. Yeah, he was ripping, bro. Dude, we got to go paintballing again. Have you ever gone paintballing? I'm so scared of it.
Starting point is 00:22:34 I've done it one time. I was horrified. You'd be great at it. Dude, do you guys know the comic Benny and Bazinia is one of my best friends? Sure. It's so funny. We went with our friends. They were like, come paintballing with us and we were like cool where's this like we literally like they would
Starting point is 00:22:49 start the game and we'd be like hit because we didn't want to get hit that's how scared i was really how old were you i was like 30 yeah it was really scary dude i was like i was like dude i was gonna be like now you can do it oh no bro this was like 39 dude, I was going to be like, now you can do it. Oh, no, bro. This was like 39 months ago. This was yesterday. You guys don't think it hurts? No. I mean, it does, but it's like exciting. It's not so much pain that it like feels dangerous.
Starting point is 00:23:17 It feels like the right amount of pain. I mean, when you get pinned down and you can't surrender in time, you're out in the opening, you just get lit up. Yeah. It sucks, but it's not like, I'm more worried about like pulling a hamstring while I'm running. Really? How often do you guys go?
Starting point is 00:23:29 Maybe once a year. Once a year, yeah. I'll go with you guys. Let's go. But I played so... I went to a fantasy football draft, and we paintballed, and I took that shit so seriously. I was like, I got to dominate.
Starting point is 00:23:39 I got to destroy. I was like flanking. I played good. But I worked myself up into such a frenzy. I'd be in the bunkers. My breath was heavy because you got the mask on. And I was just taking it more serious than any of my boys. That night I had like PTSD.
Starting point is 00:23:51 I couldn't sleep. I had panic attacks all throughout the night. My friends came out at like five in the morning. They're like, what's wrong? I was like, I paintball too hard. And they were like, dude, chill. So sick. I was a mess, dude.
Starting point is 00:24:01 I was a mess. Dude, that's the person I want on my team though. Yeah, sure. No, I put it, I want on my team, though. Yeah, sure. No, I left it out on the field. But I don't know. This time I'll meditate or something afterwards. No, no, dude. I love shit like that.
Starting point is 00:24:11 Like, you got to go hard on everything. That's what I'm saying. That's why with the jacking off thing, I'm like, bro, you're a max effort player. You just go for bro. I get that. I get that. But you also have to do both, though, right? Like, if going back to the jack off thing, it's like, okay, but I have gone hard on jacking off. Now I got to go hard and seeing if you if going back to the jack off thing it's like okay but i have gone hard on jacking off now i gotta go hard and seeing if i can't right because like if i can find that
Starting point is 00:24:29 that's where balance right yeah so if you're extreme on both ends that's moderation yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly because i don't see you going just middle of the road i see you being one way or the other i'm an all or nothing kind of guy yeah that's why you and i get along in that way i think we're both all another kind of guys guys. You seem more of like meditative. Yeah, I think I have my all or nothing moments. If I'm drinking, I'll go to blackout. Yeah. If I'm working out, I go hard.
Starting point is 00:24:58 Do you drink a lot still? No. I drink probably a few times a year now. Probably four. I saw you in Vegas when we were performing at that festival. And I don't even think you had a single drink that night. No, I was sober then. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:11 I was impressed. I was impressed by that. Dude, actually, that was like, you know, that was interesting for me. Because I kind of like got like semi-sober 24. And I've been kind of like in and out. But like never in a place where I'm drinking every weekend. But that weekend in Vegas at the Life is Beautiful festival I was like sober and that was the first time I was like at a festival completely sober and just having a blast it was like it was life-changing I was like I was like I'm having way more fun than I would have
Starting point is 00:25:39 had if I were boozing yeah it was so it was so wild you know i stopped drinking i'm on 10 months today oh you are of not drinking nice and i have been going i started in music so i've been like love like going to live shows since i was a kid i was in bands growing up and i think in the last 10 months i've been to all these concerts the first time i realized like it's better sober yeah like music like at least at my age i don't know what you guys feel about it but like it's like i remember these songs like i like it and then i just like looking back at all the concerts i went to when i was fucking fucked up and i was like i actually don't remember those concerts and this is the the biggest thing that was kind of the mind-blowing part of that was uh I went saw death cab for cutie yeah sober and in Santa Barbara in October oh with the postal service yeah yeah I'm going I'm
Starting point is 00:26:30 going to the one here yeah it's postal service I'll see you there man dude we gotta go hard I uh I saw them last year and so they have this new album out right and like they're one of those bands where I know everything up in like transatlanticism and like I know all those songs but after like codes and keys or whatever that album after that and then after plans like I never there's like three albums I never listened to right and back when I used to drink at concerts if a band like that would play an album I didn't know I'm gonna go get another drink or I'm gonna go like check out the merch I'm gonna like I don't care about these new songs just play the hits from back when i was in high school yeah but this time
Starting point is 00:27:09 because i was sober they started playing songs from the new album and because i was all there i could hear these songs for the first time right and i was like damn this new album's a banger and it got me into the new death cab album yeah And I just realized like it was such a different experience to really take in everything of the music and that's all that was making me high, you know?
Starting point is 00:27:32 That's an age thing too. I think it's like when you're like eight and you just like, when you get candy, you're like, give me all the candy and just overload my system.
Starting point is 00:27:39 And then when you get older, you're like, oh no, I can actually appreciate the taste of a tomato even if it's not like traditionally what I would like. Like your palate just gets more, I don't know, attuned to things older, you're like, oh, no, I can actually appreciate the taste of a tomato, even if it's not like traditionally what I would like. Like your palate just gets more, I don't know, attuned to things that aren't just like stimulating you right away.
Starting point is 00:27:51 Yeah. Yeah. And it's also like the thing, too, of like I've done so many of these things. Like for parties, for instance, it's like I've been to parties. I don't like if there's a weekend where it's like, come on, let's go out and go to this party. You know what it is. I know what it is. Like, and so like, let me try something new.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Like, let me have a child or something, you know? Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Yeah, yeah. I was like, let's try something. That's so sick dude. Dude, I swear to God, I was single for like a year and I was like, I'm finding this pretty meaningless and I feel like I'm circling the same experiences.
Starting point is 00:28:20 I met someone I was crazy about and I feel pretty good about my instincts when it comes to those things. And I was like, yeah, let's just do this. And I want to have a brand new set of, because I'll always be the same level of frustrated. I want to orient that around something that's new and that perhaps could be more meaningful. Yeah. Are you scared? Terrified. Fucking terrified. I love it. I just push it out of my brain most days because I know there's nothing I can do to prepare
Starting point is 00:28:46 myself for what's going to happen. So I just try to be calm and chill. And then when the hard days come, I'll just get through them. Do you find that like, are you doing like all the baby books and all the classes? No, I have all the baby books. I think the thing I primarily do is I talk to friends who are dads a lot. And I've got a pretty wide range of people from different age brackets and different backgrounds that I've just been trying to glean information from. But what I find is that the advice is always very specific to their experience.
Starting point is 00:29:13 There's not much of a common denominator to it other than like it'll change your life, which is kind of hard to build a plan around. Do you think that when you found out out that you were gonna have this beautiful family did it launch you into work harder mode yeah more money for sure like yeah because and now that the industry's dead like i swear i'm just gonna do anything to make bread right now yeah i mean i come from like uh i'm lucky that way like my family is supportive and has done well but like i'm gonna start driving uber like that. Because I also want to instill a work ethic in the kids. You got to, dude.
Starting point is 00:29:46 Let's go. Yeah, you got to. Because your kid's going to be a nepo baby. So you got to make sure that you make more early. And I'm spoiled, so they're going to be
Starting point is 00:29:53 more spoiled than I am. But my girlfriend says they're not going to be spoiled. What are you? What's your chemical makeup? You're what? Stoked. Yeah, stoked.
Starting point is 00:30:03 Oh, you mean I'm half Colombian. Okay, so stoked. For sure. Yeah, you you're half colombian yeah you got to make sure that your kids your kids still have that that immigrant mentality dude i want them to be the american grown up in the hollywood system like you i i i drove by this construction site actually earlier today he was out there yeah working the jackhammer really yeah the jackhammer sick dude i've been cleaning skyscrapers dude yeah he's been getting happy yeah dude yeah i was like two task rabbits whenever they ask me to jack off dude dude while i'm there dude dude bring some binoculars up look up that skyscraper you'll see me up there one hand
Starting point is 00:30:40 that's crazy bro dude. That's cool. Last week, my sewer overflowed. I called the plumber. This guy shows up. Really? He's like, what up, Dan? I'm with Roto-Rooter. That's crazy. Did you pretend like you didn't know him?
Starting point is 00:30:54 I pretended. I was totally in character. I was like, hey, I know you're my dog, but that doesn't exist right now. I'm just a guy doing it. He tried not to pay me. Really? I low-balled the shit out of him. But I'm like, wow.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I'm working for somebody. I need then I also work as an enforcer for the local mafia at times so I can switch into that if I have to he looked at he looked at my situation he's like oh it's gonna. Try to just give me some magic. I need more than that. That's so, that's so, are you, do you and your girlfriend,
Starting point is 00:31:30 is kids on the? Yeah, she's, she's younger. So probably not for four or five years. She's younger. How old is she? 25.
Starting point is 00:31:38 Okay. You look, your skin is beautiful. Dude, thank you. I appreciate that. It really is. You look 20. Dude, so do you. No, I don't. No, I you. I appreciate that. It really is. You look 20. Dude,
Starting point is 00:31:48 so do you. No, I don't. You do. I look like Danny Trejo before. Look at these. Don't even fish like that. I look like Pablo Torre from ESPN if he fell off a truck. Pablo Torre? I can't remember what he looks
Starting point is 00:32:03 like. He looks like this, except for he didn't fall off a truck. I can't remember what he looks like. He looks like this except for he didn't fall off a truck. But you literally don't think you're boyish and cute. I don't think I'm I think I'm like an LA six and maybe an Iowa eight. That's great. Those are good numbers. Yeah, I'm not good. Thank you. I appreciate that.
Starting point is 00:32:22 But I'm not like a hard fucking nine and a half like you. But he's beautiful. I appreciate that but I'm not like a hard fucking nine and a half like you know, he's beautiful I'm beautiful. Yeah, you also have that thing where your heads big but it's not distracting Wow, dude, it's like very like thank you know actor. It's right size. Yeah Right on camera. Oh, dude. Thanks They should um They should we should do another season of your guys's Netflix show and make sure that we just put the posters of your face I can think everybody would watch oh yeah no chest him though this
Starting point is 00:32:56 guy's Colombian no no it's beautiful no no lines we're not gonna move off this topic I yeah I think it's my gene no lines we're not gonna move off this topic i uh yeah i think it's my gene i think i should have good genes really are your my mom my mom looks very both my parents look very young um but i just started looking like an adult at age 30 yeah before that people were like what are you like 16 but that's good though maintain that yeah did you hate that when you were a kid and now i'm assuming you yeah i hate it being short i remember i remember one time i went to this guy drew who was like my um proctor who was like the senior guy in my hall in my dorm at boarding school and i was so excited
Starting point is 00:33:36 because i started school i was like 4 10 high school 4 10. i was tiny and then one of those heights that you don't you've never heard before. I know. Except for Rosie Perez. She's 4'10"? I don't know. When I broke 5 feet, I was so excited. You're like, I can dunk. I was like, I'm 5 feet. I never thought this would happen.
Starting point is 00:33:58 And then I went up to Drew who was like 6'2". And when I got to be 5'6", I was like, dude, I'm 5'6". And he's like, that's not tall. And I was like dude I'm 5'6 and he's like that's not tall and I was like fuck he kept you chasing that's what keeps you motivated though the lanky fuck if you're out there I do wonder I think do you think height will be
Starting point is 00:34:13 adjustable in the not so distant future though Gattaca style yeah dude that's one of my favorite movies of all time Roger Ebert said that should have won the Pulitzer for best movie that year he wanted them to like start a Pulitzer did you guys watch that in science class? No. We watched it in science class. Well, it's a great movie about
Starting point is 00:34:29 eugenics and the future we could be headed towards. But I like it because at the end, it's about determination. You know what's interesting about you, man, is that you are such, like, you are a prototype that I don't think gets enough love, which is an extremely well-read, intelligent bro. i know what
Starting point is 00:34:46 you're up to what no i'm telling you the truth you're literally no you're literally talking about like gattaca and then you're talking about pulitzer and like you know that you that whole argument we had about words you know all the right answers and you're pretending like you don't yeah i probably do know the right yeah you're a really well-read science guy very nice how many books do you read a year i don't know that's a lot that means a lot yeah if you're really dumb you'd be like fucking four dude it's taking me forever to get through this elmore leonard book because i've been taking too many breaks to masturbate yeah no and while you're also working for your kids and fixing his sewer you're doing a lot that was tough with the sewer that took up a
Starting point is 00:35:23 lot of reading time you're you're what about you you're a science fiction guy aren't you no i don't like science fiction what do you like non-fiction i like i don't have a favorite genre what's your favorite genre i don't read books i'm i don't i'm one of those people let's let's spin it back to you i you sent me your script that you wrote about a k-pop group? Yeah. It's phenomenal. Thank you so much. How'd you do the research for that? I get, so I, I, I am diagnosed OCD and it's like the emotional one.
Starting point is 00:35:52 And it's like, like I literally took like a, like one of those big tests for it. Like, so there's like, like, you know, you can't do brain scans for like depression
Starting point is 00:36:00 or any of those things, but there's like that. I don't remember what it's called, but I did it twice. There's this test that you take. It's like seven hours of questioning you do like play with blocks you do like and i did a sleep study and all this stuff and i got like ocd in the extreme range and the reason why i'm saying that is that like i get obsessed with things i really love and like that one i got obsessed with like K-pop and the behind the scenes of it.
Starting point is 00:36:25 And weirdly offshoot of that, just like the music business. So it was like all around the world, like different styles of that. So I just like dove in super hard and just went, I got books. I watched every video I could find. I like, I did interviews with people. Oh, interesting. I went hard on that one. And what was your big takeaway from what like K-pop is like?
Starting point is 00:36:50 You know, that's, you know, it's, it's an interesting one. I have a lot of feel. I mean, I have a lot of feelings.
Starting point is 00:36:56 Like everything is, is so many things, you know, like, and I think people, it's hard to just say, yeah, because it's like,
Starting point is 00:37:07 in general, I'll say this. I think that it's hard to just say yeah because it's like in general i'll say this i think that it's like it's fascinating how much a well-oiled machine and the culture of asian countries especially ones that are successful right now understand again going back to things that are sacred, like how culture only grows if you're looking out for it as a community, as groupthink, and that you're trying to grow together as opposed to a lot of times, I think in our capitalist American society, it feels a little individualistic,
Starting point is 00:37:38 which is totally fine sometimes. But I think that K-pop is a good example of what it looks like for a machine to care about it as a group as opposed to a star right and the star in k-pop is the group korea whoa and like and i think that and they are incredible they are you know you could say there's a lot of negatives to anything the same way that there's a lot of negatives to anything the same way that there's a lot of negatives to when motown was around you know like don't tell me that the jackson like all the negative things you hear about k-pop where they're like you know across
Starting point is 00:38:14 the board in any kind of entertainment there's people ripping them off or using them for like yeah like and people are like you know they're being treated like crap and i'm sure that they are and i'm not saying i'm not advocating that they should whatever like you know they should get what they're doing it might be worth it well the thing is is like they are the best at what they do and they want to do it like if you were to put me in a place where they were like i mean we're comics like for how long did people tell us going to open mics for no money and not sleeping four hours losing money for years everyone's like dude they're treating you like shit that's awful and you we were like i need to get better though because when it comes i'll be ready and that was right and at least for us and so like you know i
Starting point is 00:38:58 think there's just but what i'm trying to get at is like yes there are negatives to those things but to put that aside for a second like you could even just look at like what k-pop is doing like the negatives that you find there don't tell me that that didn't happen to the jackson five right and that was america that was doing it and like i think that that capitalist system that k-pop k-pop didn't invent the dangerous capitalistic dangers of the music industry i think modern america did and k-pop didn't invent the dangerous capitalistic dangers of the music industry i think modern america did and k-pop perfected it right like it started in motown basically with the jackson five generally speaking and then you could see how k-pop took a machine and was like we'll make it better right they could bring it into their kind of collective spirit and do away with a lot of
Starting point is 00:39:43 eccentricities and just make it a machine that just goes every time and the machine is also still art you know like like i think that's the thing that people tend to do and especially in our societies they make things so black and white but like the truth is a lot of things are orange or like turquoise and the thing about k-pop is that like it is a machine but that doesn't also mean that it's not extremely specific and artful and or that we can even tell the difference yeah whether it comes from a machine or not yeah like we'll just apply like a backstory to it that makes sense for how our brains want to think about it but the truth is it could be anything that churns it out and we'll just appreciate it for the yeah
Starting point is 00:40:18 they churn out well dude that's the thing about also like and i'm not saying because i'm like i don't know i know that i'm like ignorant to so many things but i'm just in my craziness of that script that we're talking about i know this is like a tangent so sorry but like that uh the part of that script is that idea of like we'll make up these stories that just make sense for our realities that we happen to be in and our reality is that we're born in america we're raised american we understand american system we'll never understand um other country system if you've never lived in it right so like uh and my example of that is like this is going to sound crazy but like back in like the 70s and 80s you would see that every other culture
Starting point is 00:40:58 wanted to be american and this is generally speaking i know that there's like outliers and other things but like just generally and i again could be wrong but like i think i'm not there's like a other cultures wanted to be american you know kfc was moving to like korea you know like mcdonald's is coming to china and all these things and uh the west infiltrated the east when those countries were more developing what i don't think anybody's realized now is that it's completely flipped. It's reversed. Because, but America doesn't even want to believe that reality like you're saying.
Starting point is 00:41:31 We're making up a story that we're still, they still want to be like us. But like the East is completely infiltrating the West. It's like whether it's TikTok, whether it's K-pop. That'll be good for us to get humbled a little bit that way. Yeah, and that's just the cycle. But, you know, I think it is a very interesting thing where people's reality is like, oh, you know,
Starting point is 00:41:53 that pride that they're finding, that it's actually like, it's just that story that you're making up might not be real because you can't see it, you know. When did K-pop emerge? It's been around for a long time like like and there's there's different like eras of it right um but like i like the modern k-pop era of it is is the one that i'm focusing on on this one but you know there's there's been like there's also like j-pop you know like other things like that. But I think that like, you know, you could go back to the 90s and see stars from there.
Starting point is 00:42:28 I don't think it's been as global until now. Yeah, it seems like it kind of infiltrated our culture within the past 10 years. What'd you say? It's dope too. I think it's cool. Like, you know. Is KSI or no, is it PSI? KSI.
Starting point is 00:42:45 Oh, KSI is the fucking dude,I KSI oh KSI's the fucking dude the black dude oh yeah bro he's a little wild with it but he can throw some power
Starting point is 00:42:54 dude you know what we should do we should all go to that Nate Diaz Jake Paul fight man I'm worried why I think Nate Diaz
Starting point is 00:43:00 is gonna get rocked oh dude oh man I don't want him to you think so too no I said that'd be tough. I don't want to see that. Yeah, it would be sad.
Starting point is 00:43:07 When's that going to happen? August. Okay. Is that in LA? No, it's in Dallas, Texas. Great place. Loved out. Shout out Dallas.
Starting point is 00:43:14 So you're in the season of The Bear. I am in the... Shout out everybody from The Bear. The best. I love the... Seriously, I'm literally wearing this shirt because I'm like a legitimate fan. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:27 It's good, dude. It's a really good shirt. Have you guys caught up on season two? I haven't watched all of season two, but I caught your episode. What an incredible episode. It's a great episode. But I actually auditioned for Garrett. You did?
Starting point is 00:43:40 Yeah, yeah. Let's put your tape. Put the tape up. Dude, we should put my tape up. Put the tape up, bro. put my tape put the tape up bro you know i watch it i was like you would have been a great garrett no no i was i watched i was like dude you nailed that no you would have been no i watched i was like yeah no i appreciate that but no dude you nailed it oh thank you yeah i mean i it's thank you but it's it's the writing is
Starting point is 00:44:01 incredible and then that this you know chris storer who is a dear friend i love you chris is uh he's a genius and and everyone he surrounds himself with the actors on that show the writers like everybody is at the top of their game it's they go hard and they love it it's it's beautiful so it's easy for me to come in what does that mean to go hard like they're just working on it all the time? You know, that's an interesting, I love that question actually. Like I think that like,
Starting point is 00:44:30 I want to hear what you think it is, but the way I mean that is just like, I think going hard is literally like loving something so much because you know that it affects not only you, but other people. It's important. It's important. It's sacred. And so you treat it with that kind of importance. You can other people it's important it's important it's
Starting point is 00:44:45 sacred like so you treat it with that kind of importance you can feel that they're living and dying on it when i was on the set of the bear which is the coolest set i've ever been on it was like sports like you got there and it was and i mean that in the most beautiful way it was hype it was fast pace everyone was pulling their weight like if you had to get back like in basketball if you have to get back and play d it was the same thing with like let's move these sticks so we can get this next shot right yeah and like so it feels like the show a little bit it does man and i think that everybody there cared and everybody there like really yeah so it goes back to the thing of like i appreciate the compliment but really i i was going into a machine that was, that, you know, I was set up to succeed in.
Starting point is 00:45:29 I mean, it's like, you see these shows like The Bear, Succession, where it's just like, it seems like, I think that's the dream is to get on a show like that, where it's just like, or to write for a show like that, to be a creator of a show like that, where it's just like, it becomes that thing where it's like, where people watch it and they can feel the love from the people who made it. I love it. And that's the thing. It's just like anything that is just bleeding earnesty,
Starting point is 00:46:01 even if it's comedy, like even if it's slap, like Hot Rod is so earnest to me like they they think it's funny you can feel that yeah and i totally agree i it's the most manly thing is to care so it's like and the bear feels very manly you know like yeah and store again um i love i love chris store and cooper wade and and everyone that's involved in it, and Joanna. They also made it such a family affair.
Starting point is 00:46:31 If you look at the posters, they put their friends' posters. They do shout-outs, like Bo Burnham's shout-out in it, and they've been friends forever. That love is like they really put their life into it too, and I think that that's cool to do. Yeah. So you talk about, it seems like you have a couple things that kind of are like a way that you
Starting point is 00:46:51 unify the way you look at the world. It sounds like the sacred and the machine. I've heard you use those phrases a couple of times, at least today. The machine thing is new though, because I think the reason why I'm using that is because like, I, I was going through a tough time recently and now I'm realizing
Starting point is 00:47:07 I want to get better so I think it's just in my brain to like think of yourself as a machine no I mean when I'm jerking off for hours yeah like in the bad sense you know but I I don't know if I'll I hope someday I do in a good way oh Oh, interesting. So it's a positive thing to be a machine. Yeah, I think so. If you want it to be positive. Because you're running good. Yeah, I'm a well-oiled machine. And I like, you know, we all like a car that runs well.
Starting point is 00:47:37 Absolutely. It's like functioning well. Yeah. And sometimes, like, it breaks down and you go to the shop and you fix your machine. Yeah, he'll fix it. Yeah, I believe that. And, I'm doing that, too. I'm working on the mechanics right now. And I'll pay you double, dude, because you need to support that family because I care.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Dude, I got two kids on the way, brother. They're little machines, dude. Do you have names for them? Yes, I do. I'm not allowed to say them, but I'll tell you off mic. Really? Do you know the genders? I do.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Boy and a girl. Wow. That's interesting. Yeah, that'll be cool. And, you know, I grew up in a man-only house. Dude, you know what's been interesting? You're going to name them paintball and ladies? I'll get real about that. Yeah, paintball and ladies. But the girl is paintball, the'll be cool. And you know, I grew up in a man only house. Dude, you know what's been interesting? You're gonna name them paintball and ladies. I'll get real about that. Yeah, paintball and ladies. But the girl is paintball, the
Starting point is 00:48:09 boy is ladies. It's also been interesting to see the way it affects other people in my life. Like my mom, she's going super alpha right now. Interesting. Yeah, like I've needed some space just so I could keep like, you know, my blinders on and just be focused. She felt a little out of the loop when it was coming to the happenings of the kids. And so she called me the other night was like, I am the mother. I need to know what is happening.
Starting point is 00:48:34 And it was like, you know, she wants to be in the inner sanctum of the decision making and of the knowledge and stuff like that. And I should be calling her more. But it's like it's revealing a lot. It just heightens everything a little bit with everybody. Does it make you appreciate, even though if it's annoying, does it make you appreciate your mom more?
Starting point is 00:48:54 Does it make you pull away from your mom? Both. It just makes everything bigger. And then it also makes me accept her more, which I think is the most important thing. Because I think back in the day, she would have said something like that. And I've been like, yo lady, chill.
Starting point is 00:49:04 And now I'm like, mom, I understand. I'll text you more. Because it think back in the day, she would have said something like that. And I've been like, yo, lady, chill. And now I'm like, mom, I understand. I'll text you more. Because it just doesn't even behoove me to fight. It's just going to cause more friction. I don't have that. I don't have the bandwidth for friction right now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:17 Do you, does in this time of high stress, are you and your lady fighting more? Less. I've gotten less moody. I'm trying to, you know, it's funny. I read this thing about masculinity that they asked a bunch of kids what are masculine emotions and the two they picked were anger and excitement. Whoa. And I'm very comfortable with both of those, but I've been trying to shoehorn more of it
Starting point is 00:49:36 into excitement. So I'd say I'm excited 85% of the time and then 15% of the time I'm moody and need to isolate. But I'm okay with that ratio. I'm okay with that right now. Do you find that that what about you like do you find i can't imagine you ever angry and isolating angry and isolated i think uh i get angry sometimes i mean my i think uh a lot of my focus is definitely inward uh and so i always kind of, I guess I'm always
Starting point is 00:50:06 thinking like what's the next step kind of thing or like but it's also like lately it's trying to capitalize on that excitement because I feel like you know, basically with everything we're doing with like stand-up or like making videos or anything like that it's like trying to capture that like we were talking about like that that passion um so i think that's what i think about a lot of the time i think uh i think i definitely have anger but i think i'm just like more just kind of i'm always kind of future tripping yeah that's that's my main thing is i'm always thinking about the future and now i'm become now I'm more sort of at P I'm trying to I've been listening to these like books on tape about how to be more present and like not have your circumstances or whatever dictate how
Starting point is 00:50:59 you feel and I think I'm getting to a place like that which feels good that's great and then you're able to relax about the future. I would also say I think you're temperamentally very chill, but I would think your internal system is extreme as well. Not in a bad way either. It's overall a total positive. You have an intense hunger to move forward and to produce and to make your dreams a reality yeah i'd say
Starting point is 00:51:27 that's the big thing yeah because when people say they're like oh you're such a i don't i don't feel that way yeah um but uh i've always had the exterior no we don't fight it i mean we get frustrated with each other often but we're we're we're both pretty easy on each other yeah yeah you have to be if you're working together all the time yeah it's like a relationship yeah especially if you guys are you guys you guys are doing so many different things it's like so many mediums i think that uh you know there's something this is i just wanted to say this because somebody told me this and it's been so in my head forever because like that present thing is that a phrase that a person his name is guy helped me with that it just i love telling myself now to stay more present is um
Starting point is 00:52:09 whenever i realize i'm future tripping i like have to say out loud uh i have everything i need right now and i deserve everything i want yeah and i always loved it yeah and it's been and even just that snap yeah i'm like i have everything I need right now and I deserve everything I want. Yeah. And it's like, it's finding those moments of appreciation where I got this, this dog. I just,
Starting point is 00:52:34 I love this dog so much. I'll just be walking the dog. I'm like, I get to walk a cute golden retriever. Yeah. That's the best thing in the world. Yeah. You know,
Starting point is 00:52:44 you got to appreciate that. Yeah. Those little things. It's like, you get, I get to do that. a cute golden retriever yeah that's the best thing in the world yeah you know you gotta appreciate that yeah those little things it's like you get i gotta do that like that's something i dreamt about as a kid is like having my own dog yeah and then it's like having that moment where you're like why am i why am i thinking about fucking tiktok well i have this sacred creature yeah yeah right right you know what i mean and it's those little moments that you care for too it's very pure yeah
Starting point is 00:53:09 you just you look at it you're like I love this shit out of you it also helps when you do go back to this so it's like
Starting point is 00:53:14 if I go like whoa I can't believe I get to walk this beautiful dog and then when you go I should go make a TikTok video
Starting point is 00:53:20 I assume because that's if that's the order your TikTok video becomes more easy to conquer because you're coming in a little more positive go make a TikTok video, I assume because that's, if that's the order, your TikTok video becomes more easy to conquer because you're coming in a little more positive, you know, you're not looking at more negatives. And I know it's like a small minutia thing, but it's like stacking that up as much as possible. Do you think you work better when you're in a good headspace? Dude, that is
Starting point is 00:53:39 the ultimate question. I think for anybody that's creative is like um i think some of the best work i've ever done came out of frustration and anger right and the process of getting there i would never want to do again but then like and you know it's i don't know i think i don't know that's i i well it's energy right like yeah anger's energy so if you can channel it it's energy, right? Yeah. Anger is energy. So if you can channel it, it's going to be productive. You know what's crazy, though, is that I think that my best work might have come from that, and it might still be always that way, but my best self to others was bad. And I think I would rather be a better person than be a better artist. When you're frustrated or you feel those emotions do
Starting point is 00:54:26 you are you like i need to do i need to do something with this in terms of creating i think i mean maybe i don't know i mean there's like i mean some of my friends who have known me for a long time i've seen like you know i used to get crazy i'm like i mean, you've like have heard like I was a wild man, but like I was very angry. And I think in the last couple of years, my friends have helped me calm down and let me see the light. But like I think that sometimes but I look back in those times and I go, I think I was trying to prove somebody wrong more so than me being like, I got to put this out to get this out of me. Instead, I'd be like, well, yeah, motherfucker. We'll check this shit out. Instead of being like, I'm frustrated.
Starting point is 00:55:13 Maybe I should go make a movie. Instead, it was like, I'm going to make a fucking movie and then you're going to have sex with me. You know, like some bullshit. And that, it might have made some good shit. But like, I don't know if i want to keep doing that you know or take a break and then yeah yeah i think it's okay to feel that way you just you know there's always different ways to go i guess i don't want to be one thing all the time i don't mind operating on anger but if i think about my life doing that forever
Starting point is 00:55:38 that seems a little bit constrained but if it's like hey you're gonna have one year of anger one year of peace and then you'll alternate to something else i'm like yes i'm up for that do you guys take ssris or like any she's about to say i'm lowering i take a like bipolar anxiety medication but i've been lowering my dose progressively over the last eight months and i have had more manic days as a result but uh overall i feel good and what the reason I did it was the medication was making me more calm, but it was also making me more afraid. I had less energy to pull the trigger or say the thing I wanted to say because I was being almost too analytical.
Starting point is 00:56:17 It was putting me into my neurotic brain more. And now I'm less afraid, and I'm probably a little bit too much sometimes for the people I'm around. Now I'm less afraid and I'm probably a little bit too much sometimes for the people I'm around. But I'd rather be like active and feel like I have the energy to attack things than to be kind of afraid. Yeah. Yeah. I totally, I just started Zoloft. And so like, do you find that with, were you anxious in your head in those moments?
Starting point is 00:56:46 Interesting. And then have you found that? I'm less in my head now. But are you anxious in a different way? No, I'd actually say I'm less anxious because I'm kind of just letting it out. I'm probably a bit more chaotic, but I feel overall more regulated because I probably somewhat self-soothe by being a bit exaggerated in my communication or in my behavior yeah that's interesting it's like and i i always struggle with this idea too of like i i avoided
Starting point is 00:57:13 trying to take anything for so long and snowball yeah yeah i was like i want to have and but then like you know i would have these insane outbursts and like manic days and like it was a i had a manic episode when i was at life is beautiful and like really just out ofbursts and like manic days and like it was a i had a manic episode when i was at life is beautiful and like really just out of my mind and like and that's why i went and took those tests and then they were like yo you have like high anxiety ocd like and this was like a you know a pretty high level doctor you know and i was just like uh i was like okay i'll try this pill and it like definitely like helped but like i also want to, inside of that, now that I've done the pill, I also do want to at some point weed down and get off it
Starting point is 00:57:53 to find who the real me with nothing in me is. Because, yeah, I get that. I want to see the spectrum of what it's like to be on it, what it's like to be off of it when I didn't know what it was. And I eventually want to find that space where it's just me. Yeah, I also didn't want to be afraid to go down on my dose. I don't know if I'll ever go all the way off of it, but I didn't want to be so dependent on it to feel like I was okay. So I was like, let's go down a little bit and let's just test it out and have confidence
Starting point is 00:58:25 in yourself that you'll be able to figure it out. And then if you need to go back up, you'll go back up. But it was making me, I was like, so it was like such a like safety crush for me. I was like, well, I have this and this will make me okay. And I was like, well, I don't want to be, especially if I'm having kids and I have a family and I gotta be kind of okay with the chaos around me. I was like, I need to feel like i'm at a level that's chaotic enough to deal with it yeah yeah do you have you ever taken them no uh i was on adderall in college
Starting point is 00:58:52 but um no that's an epidemic that no one's talking about it's horrible and there's a shortage right now right so there's a bunch of people just like itching themselves yeah it's weird it's also weird because it's like they say that i don't know themselves. Yeah, it's weird. It's also weird because it's like, they say that, I don't know the exact number, but it's like whether it's like, say it's like 5% of people by that standard of that test has actual ADHD or whatever. But then you ask everyone,
Starting point is 00:59:15 it's like 90% of people I know are on Adderall. I'm like, that number doesn't even match up. It's ridiculous. Yeah, well, I took the test and I was diagnosed with it and I knew, I was like, I don't have ADD Yeah, yeah, there's no Stupid had were you on it? Like were you abusing it when you're using it? Oh, yeah In it's on high school or like college during exams. I would take like ten
Starting point is 00:59:39 Yeah, just on rage against the machine and yeah, you know crank out philosophy paper Yeah, and my heart would be beating so fast and then I remember during midterms one time I took so much Adderall I would always have to like get a double tall can of Bud Light to like calm down
Starting point is 00:59:56 and my buddy's like you're drinking during midterms I was like it's Adderall I need to slow my heart down. It's all the things that shoot off of it. Like to soothe the comedown. Honestly, and I mean this because I actually love this band. That sounds like a sick Chainsmokers music video.
Starting point is 01:00:15 Like, hey, Adderall and Drinking Bud Light and Midterms. That sounds like lyrics to a chain. Yeah, Drinking Bud Light and Midterms. Yeah, Drinking Bud Light and Midterms. Basically, the chorus would be like, to a chain drinking Bud Light at midterms yeah yeah drinking Bud Light at midterms we should make that song yeah that is basically the chorus would be like take me back
Starting point is 01:00:28 even though I treated you like shit you know like I love the chain smokers they got some bangers they're fucking sick they're around too you can see them
Starting point is 01:00:36 yeah I've seen them four times live really yeah I swear that's a lot shout out Joe Coy we were on tour I used to tour at Joe Coy
Starting point is 01:00:43 and like every time the chain smokers were in town when we were in town we went and saw them yeah because it was a great time like not ironically like we loved it they're good they're cool and like that one they had like they at one point like we saw them in new york city and they brought out like one of those like mad max like balls with like the motorcyclists like going. Oh, they did? Yeah, during Paris is playing. Really? This is crazy, dude. Yeah, it was so sick. Tour with
Starting point is 01:01:12 Joe Coy, that must have been awesome. It was the best. He's the best, dude. He's an incredible... He's been an incredible influence in my life. And speaking of a comic that you should talk to Joe Coy about being a dad man he's a great father we had him on the pod but it was before I had uh gotten to that stage oh man
Starting point is 01:01:31 was he fun yeah he was super nice it was over zoom though so those ones never have the same connection yeah he's the best dude I love Joe shout out Joe he's the and it's how motherfuckers doing stadiums like you know yeah he's got like six trucks it's crazy yeah it's crazy like in he's going like playing the United or the Jordan played
Starting point is 01:01:50 you know yeah he's so inspiring like I watched his last special I like there's certain stans I like to watch
Starting point is 01:01:58 for their comedy but also just because it's like watching them just you're just so happy to see them doing that that who are you loving right now who am i loving right now you know i'm loving right now ron white oh that's so
Starting point is 01:02:11 cool he also how crazy is it that he stopped drinking yeah that's nuts i never saw that coming yeah really cool i love ron white just the whole his whole presentation yeah it's awesome it's so cool and he's just like man like and he's like he's like he's like yeah i got a jet yeah you know i went i'm on a yacht with dr phil yeah and you're just like i fuck it yeah i just love him you know what he's like he's like a classy tv dinner yeah there's like there's like something weird about it where you're like oh this is like an everyday man who's super yeah high class like it's so weird he's like choosing to be yeah a tv dinner yeah it could be filet mignon he's like i'd rather be a tv yeah
Starting point is 01:02:51 and he tastes better that way yeah no it's empowering it's so cool like yeah i love that that's so i want to see him live i you know who i saw live that i didn't expect to be such a banger of a show i always thought it was funny but i saw george lopez oh yeah i saw him in vegas yeah i just wanted to see what george lopez's live show was like that shit was a banger he was like just to the minute like just the biggest applause break just killing um he's so funny you know who's really funny right now that we all came up with that i just like blows my mind how funny they are it's jason chenney you Chenney? Oh, I've been seeing him on like, is he from Orange County? He's from Orange County, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:28 I remember him like, maybe like eight or nine years ago. And he was bad. Yeah, like the Ice House. I did the Ice House audition to get on the second stage. Yeah. And I remember him being there. Yeah, I mean, he will be the first one to say it.
Starting point is 01:03:42 He didn't know what he was doing, because he's like from Taiwan. He has an accent, English is like his third language or something yeah like he would talk about how he was so bad at it and then he really figured it out that dude is funny so if like yeah i don't know if you guys you should check out jason no i'm not familiar i'll give him a google when i get yeah he's crushed do you guys want to answer some cues yeah sir you know what? I'm so bad at podcasts. I feel like I just did right there. I need to stop saying the word like.
Starting point is 01:04:08 I say yeah a lot. We all have our go-tos. I guarantee no one's going to notice it. Unless like people knock on us for saying yeah too much. But, you know. Now that we brought it up, they're going to notice. Yeah, but I think you notice it way more in your head. I did do Adam Carolla's's podcast and the top comment was for the love of christ stop saying like we've
Starting point is 01:04:30 gotten that yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm sorry guy that guy's probably following me around dude yeah dude i'm going deep what'd you think of the magic mind incredible did you get boost who needs needs Adderall? Dude, right? Nootropics? Do more stress. I love this stuff. Beautiful.
Starting point is 01:04:50 All right, you ready for some cues? This actually was amazing. Guys, I'm interrupting this podcast to piss off the people that are annoyed that we do ads. We are brought to you by... Well, we're on tour. Come see us. Fort Wayne, Indiana this weekend. We got Irvine coming up in the fall
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Starting point is 01:07:23 so, so good. And they'll keep your hydration on point. They're real people, real flavor, real hydrating, now sugar-free. Grab your Liquid IV Hydration Multiplier, sugar-free in bulk nationwide at Costco, or get 20% off when you go liquidiv.com and use code GODIP at checkout. That's 20% off anything you order when you use promo code GODI at liquidiv.com all right let's get back to the show what up stoke lords another dank ass i'm 26 years old and have yet to lose my virginity it's something i'm very insecure about and don't tell a lot of people lately i've been seeing this girl though and i think i have a strong connection with her we've gone on two dates so far got a
Starting point is 01:07:59 smooch on the second one and we're looking to hang out even more and i can see us eventually becoming intimate with each other how should i go about telling her i'm a virgin without scaring Damn. relationship any advice for my first time in the sack some strider tongue darts or keep it low key and just get the job done also to make things more complicated we work together in a small office damn thanks dudes you're my heroes and you keep my stoke up p.s new movement to fight for stop the virgin shaming much love i uh i think i would just relax yeah yeah for sure take it easy i would definitely yeah drink some, drink some magic. Drink some magic, my dude. You'll definitely get laid, brother. You'll be straight in the arc.
Starting point is 01:08:50 I think I would just chill out, not... I mean, I do future trip, but try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Although, if you do get in the sack with her, you got to do some tongue darts right away. As soon as she unwails it you just you know you start darting just to uh you know blow her mind but i would say relax it'll come it'll happen and you will splooge yeah yeah i think you don't have to do anything you don't have to do anything if you want to tell her that's great if you don't want to tell her I don't think you are obligated to do so unless it's important to you to like to feel that intimate connection to kind of be vulnerable I think it's wonderful
Starting point is 01:09:32 then if you tell her I wouldn't worry about I wouldn't even want to give you sex tips on what not even that I have some but I do but I think you just go in there and just really focus on connecting with her and making her feel comfortable. And I think she'll probably be a nice gal and she'll do the same for you. And whatever it ends up being, as long as you guys are, you know, taking care of each other in like a connected way, you'll be rock solid. Wow. And then the small office thing, I totally get that. Because when I was in high school, I was afraid to bone because I thought it would circle back to the school that i was bad at boning
Starting point is 01:10:06 and then everyone would think i was a dork or a loser here's the thing dude i lost my virginity late no one can even tell everyone this is the other thing you need to know everyone's pretty bad at boning that's why it's more about the connection because people don't really remember the gyrations or the movements or if you busted quick or if you lasted forever yeah what they really remember is like how you made them feel in that experience so as long as you're a willing participant yeah that's cool how old are you when you lost your virginity 24 wow it was the best somebody you love i loved her that's fucking awesome it was beautiful i love that and i didn't and i i thought i didn't tell her i was a virgin and she told me later i did tell her so it must have slipped out but i didn't
Starting point is 01:10:48 even notice because we were so not in flagrante but in connection yeah and yeah i think look like i uh it sounds like you guys got a good rapport what's his name his name is virgin anonymous oh of course it is don't be scared bro you just screamed at the top of your lungs who you are bro you are virgin and you're cool dude he uh i look anon i'll tell you that uh i think that it sounds like you and this woman have a very cool connection you guys work together you guys talk it sounds like you guys are intimately connected in so many different ways outside of the bedroom you could just be honest with her and tell her and that i would wait for a moment when you guys are really vibing like you're making her laugh you guys are kissing you're cuddling it might be get intimate and then you
Starting point is 01:11:40 just say i have something to tell you i'm really scared of this do all the things you just say, I have something to tell you. I'm really scared of this. Do all the things you just told us. I'm really scared of this. I don't want to be bad because I really like you. I've never fucked before. And I guarantee that she is going to rip your fucking pants off. She's going to love it. Yeah, she's going to love it. And dude, you know what else is sexy?
Starting point is 01:11:58 Asking for help. Ask her, like, what do you want? What should I do? What I was even going to say, a lot of dudes, we go into our first time trying to be sexy. You know what girls like a lot too? When you're cute, that's sexy. And you know, what's cute. You tell her how you feel. And it's scary sometimes to be cute. Cause we want to be like sexy, sexy, but a sexy guy is not afraid to be cute. So just go in there and tell her how you feel, brother. Being cute dude also the other thing is that if you're 26 i'm assuming that she's you know in her 20s dude like if you're scared of
Starting point is 01:12:31 her going to her friends being like he was a virgin and they're gonna make fun that's not gonna happen if you guys are cool and it was fun she's gonna go to her friends be like he was a virgin they're gonna be like that's sick you took someone's virginity like she's a fucking adult like and that she's she's not gonna treat you poorly likeity. She's a fucking adult. She's not going to treat you poorly. No, and she's going to think you're pure. She's going to love it. Yeah, that's so dope, dude. When I was a virgin,
Starting point is 01:12:50 I thought it would be better if I had herpes than if I was a virgin. Why? Because I thought, because then at least they think I'm out there banging and I have some experience. And now I have herpes. And the truth is,
Starting point is 01:13:02 neither one's really a deterrent. No one cares. It doesn't matter. None of it matters. It doesn't matter. And that dude, you got it, bro. He's got it. He's a great guy. Yeah, he's a good dude.
Starting point is 01:13:12 I got a lot of faith in this guy. Yeah, he's cool. Very thorough. And maybe he wants, maybe the woman you love might be a woman you want to tell that you're a virgin who accepts you still. So it's a good filtering process. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 01:13:24 That's the other important part if it if you do whatever happens whether you don't tell her or you do tell her if you have sex with her and it's bad then she talks shit or if you tell her and she's weird about it it's not your fault bro like it's not your fault bro don't do this if anything like that's on her being fucking weird as shit yeah because what are her values then she's got to date some date some dude who's out there slanging dick indiscriminately, who's not looking for someone he loves? Yeah, what is she like, I only want to fuck sluts? Weird, bro.
Starting point is 01:13:51 That is weird. Not your fault. Dude, email us when you bust. Yeah. Yeah, right after. And have her write in on the email together. Write a joint email and say, thanks for the advice, guys. I didn't need it.
Starting point is 01:14:02 I'm very in love. Yeah. Honestly, though, though too one last thing is that you could actually just stop being anonymous tell everyone your name start an only fans and do the only fans video of you losing your virginity you'll make a shit ton of money that's so smart let's go bro yeah yeah and you and you can blur your fucking faces out bro or don't yeah a video of you losing your virginity and you gotta pay $5 to see it.
Starting point is 01:14:27 Could you imagine? That's gonna change everything, dude. A lot of young people need to see that. Could you imagine posting your first time on the internet? Hell, dude. Change the world, man. Take the power back. I would totally give that guy
Starting point is 01:14:43 $10. I wanna watch that shit. I'll give that guy ten bucks. Yeah. Oh, yeah I want to watch that shit. I'm subscribing dude Only fans now he's like this into anticipation There's my virginity and he's like it happened and then the video goes live Let me know yeah, we see it he fucks like crazy He loves her dude yeah he's just looking in there yeah that's what i would do bro seeking bro preachers of passion i got a sick job after college but it's in a completely new city and i don't know anyone here do you have any ideas for ways to
Starting point is 01:15:20 meet new bros we have apps for love but not for finding people to rage with that's a city council movement i can get behind that's a really good idea p.s if you're a stoker living in chicago friggin what up let's call joe and draft hot dogs thanks how to make guy friends it's a tough one dude do you guys listen to zach bryan no the country singer the country artist. Yeah, incredible. You guys should get into that. It's awesome. The reason why I bring that up is that I love Zach Bryan. He's going to be my number one played thing on my Spotify this year. And it is so, he is such, one, an incredible artist,
Starting point is 01:16:02 but two, such a manly but poetic beautiful like and he's young and he's some of the best lyrics i've ever heard and i went and saw one of his shows and i'm sitting there and i'm watching so many men and women just like at a country show screaming these like it's basically a new age dashboard, you know, like he has lyrics like, you know, like, um, you know, I want to climb a, you know, like I want to send a prayer down to the brokenhearted and let them all know it's going to be all right. Like stuff like that. And there's people like grabbing each other and yelling those lyrics together.
Starting point is 01:16:39 I think like find whatever makes you emotional, whether it's sports or something like zach bryan and go go live that moment with other like-minded bros spot on passion go where you're passionate you find other like-minded passionate people and you guys and that's such an easy thing to communicate on because it's tougher just to go into like a like a friendship conference and be like hey i want to have a buddy like where does the conversation spring from there but if you guys have a thing you can talk about your personality will get revealed from the thing go to a place that everyone there wants to be there like yes and you do too like if you will if you fucking love the x-files go to an x-files convention talk to a motherfucker that loves scully with you you know like that's and and
Starting point is 01:17:24 you're not lying to them either i think i think that's a great idea i Scully with you, you know? Like that's, and you're not lying to them either. I think that's a great idea. I think on top of that, you could go into lesbian chat rooms. You'll find tons of bros in there. Yeah. Just say, who are you really, dude? Because I'm lonely too. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:36 I'd love to connect. Yeah. And then it could actually turn out to be a real lesbian and that's good. Yeah. Oh, that'd be fantastic. Yeah. And then you could be like, dude, you want to get together and watch this guy lose his virginity on only fans?
Starting point is 01:17:47 Oh, we're starting a fucking cinematic universe. Create, connect, all of it. Dude, guys, I lost it.
Starting point is 01:17:53 Video goes live. Maybe live streams it. That'd be so sick. Do you remember, I was so horny my first time I lost my virginity. Was it someone you love? Uh, no, but, uh Was it someone you loved? No. But it wasn't the best situation.
Starting point is 01:18:08 Yeah. Mine either. But I was so excited that I was immediately like, you want a 69? I just went straight to 69. She starts dying laughing. That's your heart. You're in a 69? I ask my girlfriend every morning.
Starting point is 01:18:24 Are you top or bottom on the 69? Top. Wow. Oh, top, dude. Yeah, yeah. Holy shit. What a psychopath. I love that, bro.
Starting point is 01:18:36 You're like, you want a 69? Get on the ground. Insane. I do push-ups. It's part of my workout all right that's more like a a 19 i feel like is what you're doing like oh yeah yeah it's like not really a 69 if she's if you're on top i just i you know i uh yeah i think it's a good core workout and yeah i don't, you know, I, yeah, I think it's a good core workout.
Starting point is 01:19:06 Yeah. I don't know. You know, do you think that this is, you know how lesbians say that scissoring is not real? Yeah. Is that true? I think it is real. Lesbians say it's not real? I think so.
Starting point is 01:19:21 I don't want to get canceled for this, but I've seen videos. That'd be crazy to get canceled for this but i i've seen videos that'd be crazy to get canceled for that yeah i think i would actually stand up for once yeah yeah i think i might blow up if i got canceled yeah i think that's a bit harsh yeah yeah i mean you're definitely delving into you know uh alternate territory but yeah you're doing it from a place of curiosity yeah yeah i truly want to know no judgment yeah yeah i hope it's real yeah but i'm okay if it's not if it makes people feel good i hope that yeah absolutely beautiful all right uh last cue what's up chad and jt you guys are absolute sultans of stoke long time fan here i listen to you guys
Starting point is 01:20:01 daily nothing gets me more pumped than hearing your refreshing, positive outlooks on life. Also, nice compliment. He says I look good on the kettlebells. That means a lot, man. So currently I've found myself in a rough sitch. I've been dating my girlfriend for around a year and a half. This is the longest I've ever dated anyone. And I've been having doubts for a while now.
Starting point is 01:20:18 She's an awesome gal and a fire girlfriend. But I just feel like she's more into me than I am her. I've been wanting to break it off for a while. But she's been going through a really hard time and I feel like breaking it off would be a total schmole move. I've been waiting for a good opportunity for like three months and it never seems like there's a good time. Have you guys ever been in a sitch like this? What do I do? Stick it out and see if she's the one for me, break it off now and seem like the king of bummers or just keep waiting for an opportune time. You guys always have awesome advice, and I'd love to hear what you guys think,
Starting point is 01:20:47 as this has been lowering my stoke immensely as of late. My girlfriend also listens, so it'd be epic if I could remain anonymous. Dude, I've been in this exact situation where I was like, you're going to break up. I don't know if I had the balls to do it, to be honest, but I was i was like pretty dead i was like i knew at some point we would break up but i was always like she i was
Starting point is 01:21:13 like she's in uh she's depressed she's in a bad mood she's like not she's going through a tough time and eventually she broke up with me and i was like i was like and i don't think this was made her feel all that great but when she's breaking up i was like i was basically like yeah you're breaking up with me i was like you know i've been thinking about doing this exact same thing which probably in retrospect probably hurt her ego a little bit anyways that's okay did you actually feel like that was like a blessing in disguise though oh totally yeah no i was so i was so happy it happened you're like you're right i do fucking suck that's crazy yeah but no I just I was so crazy I was just laughing afterwards at how in my mind I was like
Starting point is 01:21:55 it'll be comforting for her to know that I was feeling the same way but then you after you get away from it I'm like oh you're like oh no actually I think she needed to know that I'm on no no i i'm glad i said it i'm not like i'm not like upset that i hurt her feelings i'm like in like a kind of like no i mean i think it's good if you did hurt her yeah that's i'm glad i got her that's what i'm saying um anyways what i'm trying to say is there's no right time i think you just gotta do it unless she's like actively crying yeah well and also you're not helping her by staying with her yeah like the if she is super in love with you the connection is only going to deepen over time so i think like
Starting point is 01:22:32 you know you got to kind of cut it off now and you're really sparing her look it's going to hurt her no matter what but the more time you take from her it's time she won't get back and i mean a couple months isn't a dramatic amount of time but i do genuinely believe the more time you take from her, the time she won't get back. And I mean, a couple months isn't a dramatic amount of time. But I do genuinely believe the more noble thing is just to say your truth and let her move on and find somebody else. And you'll be all right, dude. Yeah, don't waste your time. Like, just fucking do it. You're a man.
Starting point is 01:23:01 You got it. But to the girlfriend, N-O means next opportunity. So, like, everyone's going to be fine. Wait, can we get on that? I'm talking to the girlfriend. Oh, okay. Yo. She'll be all right.
Starting point is 01:23:16 She'll be all right. Oh, he might come back in a year. I mean, I don't say this to keep you from doing it. You'll be fine, brother. But, again, to the girlfriend just because someone says later doesn't mean that something else better is around the corner good yeah yeah but i'm talking to the guy again there is something better around the corner so you go forward both of you guys next opportunity like you you say thank you to each other and move on just get it out of
Starting point is 01:23:39 the way don't waste any don't waste your time don't waste her time every second counts and you know you know when you know sometimes people will stick stick in and be like, well, maybe if this happens, I could fall more in love with someone. I don't think that generally happens. I think everyone gets a little squirrely in relationships and be like, is this right? But generally behind that thought is another one that's like, this is what I want. If you're not getting that second thought, you got to go. Also, to your point there, too, is like that might give you the place to actually think about it and you might get back together you don't know you gotta explore yeah and like
Starting point is 01:24:11 i think that everything won't be okay but yeah just do it and like it's gonna suck there's like this old saying that it uh uh and this is a general a gener, but it's like men after breakups feel better in the short term and feel worse in the long term. Women feel bad in the, or no, I'm sorry. Women feel bad in the short term and feel better in the long term and men feel better.
Starting point is 01:24:39 You said it, right? Yeah. Who gives? Just do it. Who gives? Everyone's going to be fine. Everyone's going to feel better though. That's so true. so not i don't read dude you do read bro i don't read i don't read but yeah you'll be fine all right next part did you because i gave you a heads up
Starting point is 01:24:56 you're like one of the only people we've ever given a heads up on i didn't even i saw that you were telling me and i was like i read him and i knew you weren't gonna do it brother i knew it i don't wanna yeah yeah i wanna be real want to be real bro dude all right so i'll go i'll go second so you got time to formulate my beef of the week my beef of the week is with diet coke nice i'm a huge diet coke guy big dc guy washington dc that stands for Washington Diet Coke I freaking love it it was recently labeled as a carcinogen I think aspartame something in there
Starting point is 01:25:30 I'm having two a day now I'm having two a day I've gone from one a day to two a day because I'm sticking it in their yeah good sticking it in their face you're trying to tell me this is bad for me i'm gonna have two everything's bad for you just choose what you like and right with that yeah i'm
Starting point is 01:25:50 sorry to interrupt you what is wrong with diet coke i have i have two a day you do yeah uh apparently the fda or some one of these friggin government organizations who knows what they're actually up to yeah quote unquote yeah quote unquote they're like one of the ingredients in there i'm pretty sure it's aspartame which aspartame has always been the culprit and they've said that it leads to like alzheimer's or could be a cause of alzheimer's i don't know whoa well even if you do get alzheimer's at like let's say 75 instead of 80 i think it's got to be wired in there for you to get i don't think diet coke should give it to you yeah you wouldn't trade all those diet cokes for those five extra years of like and i don't even remember two days ago anyways so like i don't remember high school
Starting point is 01:26:34 i remember shit so i'm cruising yeah uh so yeah i just want to say to my beef is not with diet coke i love diet coke my beef is with the people trying to get me off Diet Coke with their labels. It's like, dude, I'll decide what's a carcinogen and not. How about you take your carcinogens and stick them up your ass? And then I'm going to take my carcinogens and dump them down my throat in the form
Starting point is 01:26:58 of delicious Diet Coke. They don't know what you remember. That was beautiful. Dude, I've been thinking about that, dude. Like, cause I've been like, how do I make sure the kids are happy? I'm like, you don't choose what someone chooses to remember. Like we choose which memories define us.
Starting point is 01:27:16 And we just pick, we don't even know why we pick what we pick. Do you ever wonder, it's like, am I, do I have a repressed memory? I do, yeah. Dude. But you, that's dark. I think that was with you, I'm like, do I have a repressed memory? Oh, dude. Yeah, dude. But that's dark. I think that was with you.
Starting point is 01:27:27 I'm like, he's got a repressed memory. Yeah, definitely. I was like, I looked in the mirror the other day. I look at my, of course I do. Look at this. This is probably like the, if you bleach your hair, that's a reaction to not engaging. I've bleached my hair a couple of times. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:27:39 It's definitely, yeah. I'm definitely running from something. And is it always getting molested? Dude, that's the thing. I, that's the hacky version of it. Sure. What is it always getting molested? Dude, that's the thing. That's the hacky version of it. What's the other repressed memory? Did I molest?
Starting point is 01:27:49 Being the molester, yes. That's very creative. That's dynamic. And there's something really strange about it because, okay, I love therapy, but there is such thing also, I think, that of like over therapy. Totally.
Starting point is 01:28:02 Where it's like, did they also just convince you that you have a repressed memory? I did that. I did therapy. Totally. Where it's like, did they also just convince you that you have a repressed memory? I did that. I did hypnotherapy. I made up a memory that I worked my trauma out. Really? Yeah, and it wasn't real.
Starting point is 01:28:11 Wow. That's a true story. How do you know that it wasn't real? Because it was about my parents like bullying me at a party and I talked to my parents about it and when they told me their version of events,
Starting point is 01:28:20 it clicked back in and I was like, oh, that is what happened. Yeah, and I spent all this fucking money to have this damn what we're learning here no therapy diet coke everything's fine
Starting point is 01:28:34 I think that there's a good argument for that you know we correct too far in any direction but I'm glad I did therapy but I was over therapized for a while dude the repressed memory thing freaky you know what the cure is for repressed memories? Diet Coke. That's true.
Starting point is 01:28:48 Just wipe that shit clean. Then it's not repressed. It just doesn't exist. It's like the MIB lighter thing that they have. Yeah. You got something hard you're trying to get over, how about you just forget it? Diet Coke.
Starting point is 01:28:59 Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind in a can. Dude, honestly, they could take the power back. If they really start to get canceled, they could could just advertise as like do you hate everything that's led up to right now yeah diet coke it's like mad men with cigarettes like it's toasted yeah this will wipe your slate clean this this is the first proven chemical yeah to wipe out all past trauma a bunch of war refugees. You just hand them Diet Coke. You're welcome.
Starting point is 01:29:27 Anonymous. If you go up to her and you go, hey, do you care? I'm a virgin. And she goes, yes. Be like, you should try this Diet Coke. For sure. Dude, my beef of the week. That actually gets to that.
Starting point is 01:29:37 Okay, what? I'll piggyback off that. Dude, I listened to an allergy expert on some podcast podcast and they were saying we shower too much. Yeah. Like we need to not shower as much because you got like natural. Did I already talk about this on here? No. You got natural little critters on your body that are good for you, which is an insane idea anyways.
Starting point is 01:29:54 Yeah. I just have like a million buddies on my body who are helping me out. But she was like, you got to let those critters live because they keep you clean. So I'm on that kick. I'm like, all right, I'm going to start showering less. That works with how I want to live my life anyways. Then towards the end of the podcast, where I've already bought in hook, line, and sinker, she says, but if you go outside, there's pollens that get on your body that you absolutely
Starting point is 01:30:15 need to wash off. So it's just this like counter advice where she's like, don't shower. But actually, if you go outside, which I assume most people are doing, you need to shower. And that's how we are with everything now. One thing says thing says kale is good for you another thing says kale is bad for you and i'm just done dude i'm just gonna trust this dude trust this follow your joy i'm fine whatever makes me you gotta pick the things you like and just trust that if you're stoked you'll go a long distance with a lot of happiness involved yeah yeah dude follow the intuition you know the first time i realized that things were like that was when I was in high school and it was like the height of like 17 magazine and like all that
Starting point is 01:30:51 stuff like one month would be like 17 ways to make your boyfriend come love those articles yeah but then the next month would be like don't do these 17 things if you want your boyfriend to come and it'd be like the same shit and it was like and then i guess turned into buzzfeed essentially yeah you know like the writer at cosmo was just in a jam and they're like just give me the article from last month and i'll just flip the advice exactly and people will grab it just because the name works yeah i used to love that shit they're like 23 ways to pleasure her this was like 12 years before i lost my virginia i just devour yeah i used to i atfitters, I used to go look at those books and be like,
Starting point is 01:31:27 sex positions, but I was like 13 being like, one of these days, I'm in a wheelbarrow. I bought a book on tantra. Yeah, I know. That's the thing is that
Starting point is 01:31:35 then I had sex and I'm like, I don't know how to do that. I don't know if it doesn't make sense to me. I don't know if the girls wants that. I don't, yeah. Oh, they do.
Starting point is 01:31:43 But maybe. They do. Yeah. I guess I don't think my dick can do that. I don't, yeah. They do, but maybe, maybe. I guess I don't think my dick can do that. That's like the other main thing. I think maybe, you know, I think,
Starting point is 01:31:51 I think I would be happy with getting the position, getting penetration and then be like, okay, let's go back to missionary. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Just to check it off.
Starting point is 01:32:04 Yo, if anonymous must be really funny, he does the thing where he's like i'm gonna lose my virginity but he plays a bit on us and then he's like this is actually like the ninth time he's had sex and he's like wheelbarrow yeah he could find that too the virgin thing could work for him and then he could play that card yeah yeah which is dangerous don't weaponize your vulnerability yeah 100 yeah 100%. Yeah. You know what? Remember when you were kids too, you would hear those urban lads like the Cleveland Steamer and all that?
Starting point is 01:32:29 It's crazy because when you were kids, you're, whoa, adults do that? Yeah. But they don't. Now we're adults. Have you guys done stuff like that? What is it? Cleveland Steamer again? The brass trombone?
Starting point is 01:32:40 I think that's when you shit on their chest. No, I haven't done that one yet. Yeah. Have you ever peed on anybody uh just my bros like on their legs or something like that but it wasn't for sexual kicks at least not in the immediate aftermath i had a track coach that told me that you're supposed to pee on your feet to get rid of athlete's foot so in the locker rooms we were all pissing on our feet damn good coach yeah i've done uh i've done the cleveland steamer i've done the cincinnati tornado and i've done the um i've done the illinois log jam oh nice which one hurt the most uh the log jam yeah because that was involved my ass yeah it's that's more to you the the log
Starting point is 01:33:27 jammed my ass i like to stick truly with ohio stuff yeah it's that regional pride we were talking about the toledo mutt that's what i love the toledo you know but the classics are cool too, you know. I don't know, it's like the Akron smacking. Dude, I mean, like, why does Ohio have so many famous cities, bro? It's because they're all fucking like crazy there. Yeah, the Columbus. They're very inventive. What is it, the Columbus? The Columbus Rumbus.
Starting point is 01:34:01 The Columbus Lasagna. The Columbus Lasagna. Yeah, Columbus Rumbus, that's what the Columbus Rumbus that's what it is you got a beef of the week I got a beef of the week man this is a simple one TV shows movies too long yeah too long dude have you always thought that where is this a no result in modernity I mean most I mean it like give me a good like 90 to two hour movie like top gun two it's like two hours and one minute it's perfect you know because that movie's incredible you know you turn on the last of us and it's like this episode's 97 minutes right that's a movie dog i-hmm I want to do that anymore man I'm with you too
Starting point is 01:34:46 many too many too many episodes too long the perfect length for movies like 14 minutes yeah yeah Josh watch the squid in the whale it's 80 minutes great 80 minutes bro if they fucking advertised a move if they were a doctor strange 588 minutes they put that in the trailer I'm there dude you're in and out i'm there dude i think that's right yeah chad what's your baby of the week or who's your baby of the week my baby of the week is vermont i went to vermont for the fourth of july dude beautiful i always uh i guess i was just associated with being cold but they have summer there and uh it's just rolling green hills it's amazing we're there
Starting point is 01:35:26 it's just rolling like it's it's not like the west coast at all it's green there's like lakes and it's like the food there you feel like the food is just all natural it's just like you eat cheese there and you're like this came from a cow like five like yesterday you know what i mean i love that feeling of like where you're in a place where you're like oh i can go to the grocery store and know that the food here is legit we had that in like pennsylvania for sure um so yeah i just fell in love with vermont it was amazing so shout out um my baby of the week is that i've gone on a deep dive with wrestling, specifically the WWF and WCW when they were having the Monday Night Wars. And I was a wrestling fan when I was a kid.
Starting point is 01:36:09 And then I've just come back to it because I love that it's fake, but all the feelings behind it are so real. And my favorite wrestler, well, I'll get to him. He'll be my legend of the week. But my favorite wrestler to hear stories about is Meng. He's this Tongan guy. And dude, there is infinite fight stories about him. And he's supposed to be the badass amongst all badasses. Like every guy just has the most epic bar fight story about him.
Starting point is 01:36:34 And he was like trained in martial arts. Some people said he was a guard for the Japanese emperor. 6'1", 280, just a house. Kevin Nash said you wouldn't even know where to try and hurt him in a fight. And every wrestler is terrified. Like they always ask wrestlers like, who the toughest guy and everyone just point blank without hesitation is like mang so i've just been i oh and his other name was haku that's his main wrestling name so instead of like the daily haiku i watch my daily haku which is just a fight story about him
Starting point is 01:36:57 and he's got ones where he's like pull dude's eyes out he ripped their teeth out it's always brutal he's got one bar fight he did this for real for real? Yes. Well, I mean, it's all stories, but I believe him. He was in one bar fight where some dudes, because dudes always try to fuck with wrestlers. They're like, your shit's fake. And they're always trying to punk them. And Haku didn't stand for that. And everyone says he's the nicest guy in the world
Starting point is 01:37:16 if you're not in a fight with him. But if you cross him, the badass comes out, which is always the best way to be a badass. Where you're like, oh, he's a nice guy, but he's got that gear. I guess one time he bit through a guy's shirt and bit a chunk out of his back. Wow. And you might think I'm spoiling all the Haku stories.
Starting point is 01:37:32 There's a million of them. They're all there. I've got to check this out. Dude, they're very fun. And every wrestler. I think they should. Just a story. Just the legend of Haku.
Starting point is 01:37:42 Was his finisher move putting his hand in people's mouths yes and but that was a real move people would see him they called it like goosen or gerslin someone he would do it in real life he would do in real life and like pull a dude's jaw out he once did it at the airport oh he did it at the airport he would stick his hand in your the bottom of your mouth and just crack. Dude, that's crazy. He's a good guy. He's a good solid guy. Is he alive?
Starting point is 01:38:08 He is. And he's like the sweetest guy now. He's a grandpa. But someone did a prank where they tried to fuck with him. And you see the badass Haku comes out. He starts chasing around one of the guys. Wow. Like he just, he's still, but he's very loving, very kind.
Starting point is 01:38:24 But if you fuck with wrestlers and he's on their side, you're in trouble. I love that, dude. That's a loyal guy tongan tongan badass i'm bang i haven't heard them forever that was great my babe country music baby country music first time in 40 years country music has one and two on the billboard hot charts and it's morgan wallen and um uh that the fast car song by uh was it luke brian he covered it yeah incredible you know i i grew up in iowa and some of the best times i've ever had were at country concerts and it's i'm i'm just happy that uh they're getting their shine dude it's fun to see live it's fun to see live. It's fun to see live. And also, like, my... Get a little closer to the mic.
Starting point is 01:39:07 Country, yeah, I just learned how to do this. I'm bad at podcasting, by the way. Get out of here. Dude, you're great. I don't know how to do it. We never even used these. You're fantastic. Boyish, you're cute.
Starting point is 01:39:16 You're good on the mic. You look like a veteran. Yeah, you know what it looks like. Wait, but keep cooking on country. I love country, dude. I mean, it's also just, like, emotional. Yeah, you know what it looks like. Wait, but keep cooking on country. I love country, dude. I mean, it's also just like emotional. It's so earnest. Were you raised on it?
Starting point is 01:39:32 You know, no. I mean, like it was always around in Iowa, but I was an emo kid. I was listening to like, I mean, I'm wearing a Norma Jean hat right now. But like, but I do think that like there's like an overlap with singer-songwriters, emo, and country. Sure. They're both very sincere too, right? So sincere. And it's all about having a good time, dog.
Starting point is 01:39:52 It took me till my mid-20s to really appreciate it, like the simple beauty of all of it, where it's like you live in a small town, you got your boys, you got your girl, you got your truck, and that's all you need. That's all you need. And then also, but I think a lot of people don't realize too how many songs are also celebrating leaving those places like it's it's it's people tend to put
Starting point is 01:40:10 country in a box and i think those people are living like never actually gave it a chance bless you god bless you my friend god bless you thank you you're welcome and um you know but yeah i you know listen to country music you know john mellencamp small town that song's about you know loving your small town but also knowing that you need to see the world because once you see the world it's hard to unsee it so yeah that's dang there is something like bruce springsteen all of his songs are about leaving jersey they're all about leaving jersey guess where he lives jersey 10 months from where he was born do you want to know a crazy fact? Cause I was doing research on another script I wrote. This is, I don't know what the number is now,
Starting point is 01:40:50 but like when I, this is pre COVID, but everybody says that like, you know, people our age and younger, like in the last census, they're like, we're all leaving small towns, right? And that cities are growing. That is true. But in the last census, the thing was, the caveat to that is that everybody in our generation and younger than us are leaving
Starting point is 01:41:10 their small towns to go to a city that's usually 100 miles away from where they grew up. So if you grew up in Pella, Iowa, you go to Des Moines. If you grew up in Cleveland, you know, or you grew up in Toledo, you're going to Cleveland. So you're technically still home. Yeah. You know, like you can drive back to see your parents. And I think that like you want to see the world. You want to travel. You want to open that stuff up.
Starting point is 01:41:34 But there is something about, you know, you got to, your heart is, yeah, who you are. If it was good. And obviously some people aren't like that, but. Do you go back home a lot? All the time. Iowa is the best place on earth. And I truly believe that. You guys did a couple videos in Iowa.
Starting point is 01:41:48 We did. We went to Des Moines. I like Des Moines a lot. You guys went to the Machine Gun Kelly concert in Iowa. MGK. Tremendous performer. I just watched him singing that song from Fast Five. It was awesome.
Starting point is 01:41:56 He learned Spanish for it. Bro, you know what I just started listening to again? Another Babe of the Week. That one song from the Fast and the Furious where it's like. I'm by Leo. No, that one's good too. See You Again? See You Again, dude.
Starting point is 01:42:09 Bro. Bro. Wiz. Bro, the feelings. Dude. Big time. And the pressure on him to nail that song. And he fucking went above and beyond.
Starting point is 01:42:17 Yeah. And then when that scene in, what is it, in the Fast 8 or whatever it is. When he pulls up next to him. And it's like all CGI'd and his head's like flowing. That cgi'd yeah he's dead what rest in peace no i knew he was gone but i thought he got that and then that piano starts i thought he was there on the day that's a good ass song yeah dude chad who's your legend of the week my legend of the week is lifting lifting weights i um i went to see my brother for the 4th of July
Starting point is 01:42:46 and they're like, we're lifting. Both my brother Mark and I, we tweaked our backs and my brother Bill, the oldest one, he's like, it's because you're not strong enough.
Starting point is 01:42:59 And actually, I made a decision off that trip. I'm like, I'm going to get jacked. I want to get jacked. Yeah, let's do it. Like I'm lifting heavy. Good. I'm going to get jacked. I want to get jacked. Yeah, let's do it. I'm lifting heavy. Good.
Starting point is 01:43:07 I'm trying to get fucking... It's good for the bones. Yeah, I want to get thick. I'm on the same trajectory. I put on 15 pounds. I'm trying to get big. Dude, you got to get big. I want to be a house.
Starting point is 01:43:18 Yeah, I want to get fucking big. I've been lifting every day since. Good. That's great. I'm trying to get fucking you what are you eating i'm not eating enough to to bulk up i need to figure out my diet you gotta be in a caloric surplus dude yeah i know but yeah you got this brother yeah you think i can do it you gotta get so buff that you can't wipe your ass dude that's that's what i've been
Starting point is 01:43:40 saying on stage i'm like i'm like i used to be i used to want the brad pitt physique now i want the i can't wipe my ass physique like i want to get this yeah just show up and just you stage i'm like i'm like i used to be i used to want the brad pitt physique now i want the i can't wipe my ass physique like i want to get this yeah go just show up and just you know i'm gonna take a photo where you know i take a photo i'm like holding like a fucking something yeah a baby and be like wow are you navy seal now people like why is that vulnerable you want to look like there's no yeah points of on you. I protect this life. And if a car hits you, poor car. Maybe I'll borrow one of your babies for that. Go, baby.
Starting point is 01:44:12 Go. Two of them. You're going to hold both of them. That's sick, bro. Can you do the bouncing boobs thing? Wow. You're getting fucking big, dude. Oh, you can see it. Shut the heck up, dude.
Starting point is 01:44:29 It's tough in the white, but it's still popping. What the fuck? Go, baby. When was the last time you wiped your ass? What? I had Aaron wipe it for me.
Starting point is 01:44:41 What the heck? He's big. I'm good, by the way aaron one of those veins that go horizontal i hate that oh right i saw kumail nanjiani at uh home state yeah at first i was like who's that monster i was like oh he's huge and i was like oh that's the sexy kumail nanjiani he had veins horizontal dude he's he's maintained that And I was like, oh, that's the sexy Kumail Nanjiani. He had veins. The sexy Kumail. Horizontal. Dude, he's huge.
Starting point is 01:45:07 He's maintained that size. It was crazy because I thought it was just for Eternals. And no, it's Eternal on his rig, dude. He looks great. Wow, dude. He's big. He looks like the American Gladiators. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:45:19 Yeah. Pretty cool. My legend of the week, Jacked. My favorite wrestler of all time, Bret Hart. Bret the Hitman Hart. Now, he carried the WWF from 92 to 97 because they were going through a steroid crisis.
Starting point is 01:45:34 And he looks more like just your regular Jacked dude. He's not the super-sized guys like Ultimate Warrior and Hulk Hogan. And Vince McMahon wasn't into that. He liked the big guys like those dudes, but you couldn't deny Bret Hart's wrestling ability. He was never the best on the mic. And the reason for that is he just took wrestling so serious. He's like the best technical wrestler ever. And as a result, his matches are actually kind of boring. He doesn't do a lot of high spots.
Starting point is 01:45:59 He doesn't do a lot of theatrics. Everything to him had to be logical. It had to be something that looked like it would work in a real fight. And he was focused on the storytelling of the match. Like he wanted there to be like, if you're fighting a big guy, you work his leg over the whole time. If you fight a smaller guy, you kind of manhandle him. He wanted it to be smart. And as a result, people think his matches are boring. But if you watch his matches, like for a while, if you go back to someone else's match, it
Starting point is 01:46:21 just feels phony. It just feels fake. But he had a tragic exit from the WWF. They cut him because they couldn't afford his deal anymore. And then in the most famous wrestling incident of all time, the Montreal Screwjob, they took his title from him in his hometown with his own special move, and he didn't know it was going to happen. So he socked Vince McMahon, knocked him out, went to WCW.
Starting point is 01:46:39 They ruined him. And then tragically, his brother died working for the WWF in a stunt that Brett said he never would have allowed. And so now because of those things, he's kind of a bitter dude. He's always talking shit. He's always kind of upset at how wrestling has changed. And people think because of that, he's just a sourpuss. But I love it because he cares so much about this fake sort of foolish thing.
Starting point is 01:47:03 But for him, it's his whole world. He believes in it so hard that when guys used to talk shit to him in character, he would take it serious and let it hurt his feelings. He grew up in wrestling. So for him, it's performance, but none of it's fake. It's all real. And I think there's something so pure about that. You know, the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be.
Starting point is 01:47:23 Yes. And he believes that. If you ask him, he'll say, I'm the best wrestler that ever lived yeah like he has and he just he studies it in a way where you're like you know it's just wrestling right but for him it's like no this is like a way to live your life he's almost like a samurai with his like philosophy around it and i just find him i watched three hours of interviews of him last night just him on different canadian talk shows just talking about wrestling wcw ruined bret hart well they didn't do a good they made him job for like intercontinental like like lower champs
Starting point is 01:47:50 they didn't put him up against hogan he did the sting sting at starrcade though oh i don't know if i've watched that one yet it wasn't sting starrcade 1997 great year by the way good year for one of the best that's when the attitude era came in. Dude. Okay. One of the things I also watched to hype myself up on YouTube is Bill Goldberg, Hollywood Hogan winning the championship on Nitro, which destroyed the WCW for them to do that. People think Goldberg was bad for WCW because he could only do squash matches. Dude. And he actually, he's the reason Bret Hart no longer wrestles. Bill Goldberg?
Starting point is 01:48:22 Bret said before our fight, he said, just don't hurt me, Bill. Because Bill could go over the top with his moves and wasn't like as technically sound. And he didn't position their bodies right, right in his head.
Starting point is 01:48:32 And then they went in the ring and hit him with a super kick, gave Brett a concussion. He couldn't wrestle after that. Oh my God. So of all the people he's pissed at, Bill's right at the top of the list.
Starting point is 01:48:41 He's still like... He's still mad at Bill. He'll couch in a way where he's like, look, you know, I'm not saying Bill's a bad guy or that, list. He's still mad at Bill. He'll couch in a way where he's like, look, you know, I'm not saying Bill's a bad guy or that, you know, he wasn't talented, but he could be a bit reckless in there, and I just don't think there's a place for that.
Starting point is 01:48:53 And, you know, something I'm proud of is that I have never injured another wrestler. Wow. I got so much honor. Dude, he's deeply honorable. Is he an egomaniac? Yes, but in the best way. Yeah. Dude, I love that you're, like, have you been watching Logan Paul wrestle? Dude, he's deeply honorable. Is he an egomaniac? Yes, but in the best way. Yeah, dude, I love that you're in, like,
Starting point is 01:49:06 have you been watching Logan Paul wrestle? Dude, he's good. I haven't really watched him, but I've seen the highlights. He's good. And he takes it serious. Yeah, he's good. He's an athlete, dude. He is, man.
Starting point is 01:49:15 I love the Paul brothers. I truly do. Like, I think they've done all of our dreams. They've been rappers. They've been actors. They've been viral stars. They've owned fashion lines. They've been they've been rappers they've been actors they've been right all viral stars they've owned fashion lines they've been boxers they've been pro wrestlers well yeah they do and they're kind of like the kardashians where people get upset at them because they can't
Starting point is 01:49:35 pinpoint what the talent is other than being relevant but that is so hard to do but also like the other thing about being relevant is you have to be talented. Like- Well, that's the thing though. Yeah, they're the best at it. I agree. They're good at something. It's, they're like the one man K-pop group.
Starting point is 01:49:52 They can do everything. Like, I don't know, I love it. They can make us care whether we hate them or we like them. Yes, I mean- We're invested. Yeah, and like, they're like 20 years old. Like I can't wait to see what happens when they're older. Yeah, Logan's getting married. He met a nice gal. He's, is he marrying Nina? old. Like, I can't wait to see what happens when they're older. Yeah, Logan's getting married.
Starting point is 01:50:05 He met a nice gal. Is he marrying Nina? Yeah. He's marrying her? Yeah, they're engaged now. Wow. He's growing up. That's so cool.
Starting point is 01:50:12 He's marrying that girl? Yeah. You know, we picked on him. You don't like it? No, I used to follow her, and I just, I don't follow her now because I'm with a lady, but she used to be like my number one hot chick. Who is she? So you like what he's doing?
Starting point is 01:50:23 I do. Yeah. He's got all of our dreams on log, dude. This motherfucker, man. He wrestles and he fucks Dina. Yeah. Not to get upset, but at the same time, it's like respect. Yeah, yeah. Dang, dude.
Starting point is 01:50:34 I mean, I'm pissed, but respect. That's so cool, man. I love those guys. Okay, so what is the prompt? Legend. Legend. Legend of the week for me um oh here we go i i i stand on the music train i uh went and saw blink 182 in dallas texas i flew in and saw it and man legends fucking legends dude like those guys you know they were like international hits
Starting point is 01:51:09 with like pop punk music in the 90s like running around naked and they're like dudes who like dropped out of high school and made their dreams come true like yeah and they're just like writing songs about shit and poop and they like made it and you know two of the three of them almost died you know I have his Barker but almost died in a plane crash and his friend did and mark beat stage for cancer and they're still doing it and like I don't know man that's if there's anything that can make a whole arena scream the words, shit, piss,
Starting point is 01:51:47 cock sucker, motherfucker, man, you did it. And there's more meaning to that. Now that we know how much they've survived. They're not just kids saying that to be like immature, thumb their nose or thumb their thumb at something.
Starting point is 01:52:00 It's like, no, they're like, we've earned this. We've been, yeah, yeah. We grew up with them the same, like, you know, and I think that it was like no they're like we've earned this we've been yeah yeah we grew up with them the same like you know and i think that it was like home again it was like seeing home again
Starting point is 01:52:10 you know like oh that's who i used to be that's who i am now nice you know that's awesome chad what's your quote of the week my quote of the week comes from timon creek this guy on instagram a motivational guy. Hey, bro, you want to go out this weekend? There's a crazy event happening. There's going to be tons of chicks. Let's go out, have fun, and let go a little. Yeah, that ain't my kind of fun.
Starting point is 01:52:38 My kind of fun is waking up early, setting my goals, and getting in touch with my creator. So if you love to get shit-faced, that's cool. But we don't do that around here. That's not what we do. I love it. That's good advice. Sound.
Starting point is 01:52:50 Dude, I don't have mine ready. Do you think you can pop with one? I think, yeah, hold on, hold on. Let me bring it up. Yeah, let me try and, who do I like right now? I'm sorry, I gotta run in like. Oh, you gotta run in live. Yeah, we'll do no. Oh, do we go long?
Starting point is 01:53:02 We'll do no phrase of the week. No, no, I have a set. Where are you up at? The Belly Room. Oh, nice. Oh, fun, dude. Hold on, hold on. Oh, dude, you know what?
Starting point is 01:53:14 Bret Hart quote. When he was switching to WCW, and he said, I'm not greedy for money, I'm greedy for respect. Damn. I love that. Sick.
Starting point is 01:53:31 This is James Bishara yeah having too many separate tools for different functions can stretch your mind uncomfortably in thinking that there are dark corners of tasks lists or unread threads somewhere out there magic mind magic mind magic mind quote of the week dude i love this stuff like truly it reduces mental clutter yeah it does does it do that definitely did it when i took it bro thank you for saying that they're paying us but i would say it anyways i really do like this stuff no i drink it every morning you know what you could do is that you could drink diet coke and then drink one of these and then it just cancels each other out. Dude, that's what I do.
Starting point is 01:54:09 That's what I do. Yeah, add it to the rotation. All right. Well, I think we're good. Bye. Fellas. Platonic on Apple. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 01:54:17 Dude, you're in so much stuff. You're really cooking. You're really cooking. Platonic on Apple Plus. Nick Solar, Francesca Delbanco created it, directed it. you're really cooking platonic on apple plus nick solar francesca del banco created it directed it and seth star seth rogan rose burn me
Starting point is 01:54:31 trey hale vinnie thomas and then season two of the bear on hulu shout out to those beautiful people who are dear friends and thank you for the opportunity i love you guys seriously you guys are so funny and i really. I love you guys. Seriously. You guys are so funny. And I really, I really appreciate it. It's really fun.
Starting point is 01:54:46 If you need advice, these guys are really nice. You want to know what to do, where to go. When you need someone to guide you, When you need someone to guard you There's no one to have to throw beside you Go free Go free
Starting point is 01:55:14 Let's go deep I'm going deep I'm going deep

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