Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 300 - 4 Horsemen (Strider Wilson & Joe Marrese)

Episode Date: July 19, 2023

EPISODE 300!!! Thanks for all the support over the last 6 years. Today we have a classic 4 Horsemen pod with Strider and Joe. We played double dutch with Joe's hog and gave advice to a stoker in indonesia.   Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice)  Check us out on tour!  We've got shows in IRVINE, SAN JOSE, CHICO next! https://www.chadandjt.com Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/

Dude, my legend of the week? Us. Yeah! Episode 300. We've been doing this for a while. It's crazy to think, I mean, 300 episodes, 52 a year, that's something like 6 years. You know what I mean? I love doing this thing, and it's been a wonderful ride.

We've learned so much about ourselves, about each other, and I can't wait to do more. We're constantly growing, changing, but we're always together in that, so it's been an honor, boys, and let's keep it rolling. What's real deep? Going deep. Chatting JT.

Ooh, let's pound the pancakes and slap Joe on the ass. We are in episode 300 Yeah, I'm going deep a challenge at 300 and I want to say what up. Well first my name is Chad Kroger Got my compadre John Thomas. What up boom clap stuggers, you know 300 That's how many Spartans stayed behind at Thermopylae at the hot gates to resist the invading persian army made up of mercenaries and imperialists who looked to destroy western culture they stood tall and defended democracy and gave time for

the rest of the greeks to team up so that we could be here today this this episode's in honor of them but more about us We're similar We are similar Their arrows would blot out the sun Our small dong references Will blot out the sun We are the Spartans of bummer

The Persians are bummer And we're blocking the gates Not letting it come in And just letting Stoke reign supreme Well said We're here with the magnate of matrimony, Strata Wilson. Freaking honored to be here, dude. Beautiful ref.

I'm already cremating for this episode right now, dude. And we're here with the baron of big boners, Joe Morisi. Hey, it's great to be back here for episode 300. I feel like it's Joe and JT. I'm in the foreground here. I like that. Yeah, you were big on that. I'm in position to just take things over here,

so that's good. We'll cook, dude. And you're dialed in. You got a latte and a water, dude. You can't be stopped. Yeah, iced latte, water. I forgot to say congratulations to you, by the way. Thank you, legend.

Did you get my text? I did. Thank you very much. I did. I didn't send one, actually. Did by the way thank you did you get my text I did thank you very much I did I didn't send one actually did I no you did you said

well we were gonna get dinner and then you were said I think congrats yeah and then I saw you in person and you go you got married thanks for the invite

well I I mean when when you don't have like a big wedding it's like it's not really on people's radar exactly to say congratulations

I think at a certain point but congratulations i think doing a huge wedding after how old are you i'm in 36 yeah real age yeah it's real i didn't know if i'm 41 or older dude it's amazing you said people i did a post the other day and a lot of people said striders looking old dude really hurt my feelings no i think you look better than ever i get i got hurt. I get comments like that, too. Yeah. I think it's inevitable. And you know what?

Yeah, you guys rage. We say dude and bro a lot. I probably look the youngest, and I'm the oldest, I bet. Yeah, you look great. Thanks. You look the what? I probably look the youngest. You guys are aging.

Well, you got good salt and pepper beard. Yeah. It suits you well. I saw baby photos of you, and you looked exactly how you look right now. That's good. Are you getting a motion? Or is your throat dry? No, my throat's a little dry.

I heard when you were born, you were coming out of the canal, and instead of crying, you're like, what the hell was that? Yeah, what was I doing in there that nine months? Are you kidding me? Somehow came out with a bratwurst in hand. Hey, I had one in Milwaukee. It was great. No, you didn't.

Yeah, I just was visiting back home, and the Cubs were playing the Brewers, so me and my dad went out there and had a brat. Oh, I love that. I heard the Brewers games are great. And a pretzel. Yeah, it was fun. In Milwaukee? Yeah, it was in Milwaukee.

It's only like an hour and a half away. So you had a brat and a pretzel. Is that starch? Is that a lot of starch? I don't care what it is. That's true. You've been eating that shit since birth. Yeah, it was good.

How are the Cubs doing? Okay. At the break. What do you think will be remembered more, the World Series when the Cubs broke their curse or when the Red Sox broke their curse? Probably the Red Sox broke their curse? I think Cubs. Probably the Red Sox.

No. Probably. Well, the Cubs had the longest one. But the Red Sox came back from 3-0 against the Yankees. Well, the Cubs were down 3-1. That's hard as well. That is tough. It's almost like 3-0.

Yeah. But Cubs are cooler. Joe, you should add this to your beverage selection. Magic Mind. Subtly Sweet Matcha. Boost your energy. Will you drink it? They're sponsoring us.

Adaptogens. Helps you relax. Nootropics. Keeps you focused. Immunity. Nootropics? It's nootropics, dude. Vitamin C, D, and...

Hey, stop trying to throw a monkey wrench into things. Will you drink that? No. They're our sponsor. They're sponsoring us. Do more, stress stress less i listen i'm not i'm not stressed right now yeah but you'll be more optimal with that take alongside your morning caffeine benefits build with daily used best serve chilled this is warm as hell you read that correctly i want it bet i want it the way it You read that correctly. I want it

the way it's best served. I don't want it averagely served. I want it best served. This is freezing. I know you're not stressed right now, but maybe your shoulders relax for the first time. You might feel a brand new Joe.

There might be a brand new Joe inside this four ounces of liquid. Why do you have it? I am going to have one. I'm going to have mine. We'll drink it together. No, I got too many drinks. I got this latte and this water.

You drink liquid death. Yeah, so? Did you hear about that company? That's just water. What would they do? I guess they're using little dwarf children missing limbs to do their mining for minerals whoa you know the ring that movie that's based on uh liquid death oh yeah samara the girl she she's samara's name yeah samara she got trapped in a well and the

well water was liquid death water isn't that the girl from sophomore year high school samara yeah i think it is the girl from sophomore year of high school? Smart. Yeah, I think it is the girl from sophomore year of high school. I think that's why you named the ring girl, though.

Yeah, because that was like sophomore year of high school. I remember we were watching over at Winkle's house, dude.

That was a fun party. And I had seen it. Was it me and you? We had seen it and we knew that the phone calls were going to happen. So, right,

and everyone had their cell phones or whatever in their like shoes because the rules of the house where you have to take your shoes off i hate that rule but we did we respected it and we called everyone's cell phones and said seven days right and left them all voicemails it's great dude dude a little piggyback off that how do you guys feel about houses where you have to take your shoes off terrible i'm okay with this stupid i get it

You have to take your shoes off. Terrible. I'm okay with this. Stupid. I get it. I mean, I don't want to do it, but. This isn't China, dude. Well, I get it if it's carpet.

Yeah, if it's floor, then it should be whatever you want to do. But carpet, I understand if you want shoes off. Upstairs, I get it. Upstairs, I get it. Yeah, keep your upstairs. But also, I don't want shoes on the furniture. If your shoes are on, don't be putting your feet up on the couch. Well, I think it's the attitude of the person asking. I remember there's one guy, every time I go to his place, he'd be like,

shoes, shoes, shoes. Yeah. And I wore my shoes. Yeah. I wore them. As an act of protest. Yeah. But if it's a nice house and they're sweet and they keep it clean and you're like, wow, it's such a beautiful

place, then you voluntarily want to take them off. You know what I do at the crib right now? Someone rolls in and I get a shirt off. Right. I get rid of the lid off. That's a good rule. No shirts in here, dude. My wife had a tough time with that one, but she embraced it. Let them hang. Yeah, you gotta

be strict about it. That's a great call Do you make people take their shoes off? No, I don't have anybody over I came over You didn't want to let me in Oh, right Yeah

Well, you didn't let him in I was like, yo, let's go upstairs and chill He's like, no, let's go hang at Bristol Farms I was like, no What do you got going on in your place? There's nothing there There's nowhere to chill It's a small place

You got a Fight Club poster and a mattress on the ground? Yeah. Because you knew I was going to try and hook up with you, which I did. Dude, for sure. Hook up with you. No, you didn't. Yeah, I did. Kiss my neck. Say it now on episode 300, bro. No, I wouldn't let you, man.

Yeah, right. We were rolling around in the sheets. Not into you. What are you into, Joe? Chickse chicks yeah it's nice oh dude can we talk about your sorry i know we're like going heavy on you but you're just uh we're obsessed yeah we love you and you just always bring the heat can we talk about your big incident at the store where you almost got into fisticuffs whoa yeah i don't I don't care. Yeah, I talk about that stuff. Yeah, I mean, people, well, I was glad to be out of town for a week because I almost got in a fight with a customer as well.

How big was she? Yeah, it's a good question. Yeah, they were like two couples in their 50s. Amazing. Yeah, it was, yeah, it gets wild. What were you going to say? No, I want to hear, tell the whole story. Yeah, yeah. No, no it gets wild. What were you going to say? No, I want to hear, tell the whole story. Yeah, yeah.

No, no, no. We're on a podcast. People don't shut up at a comedy show, and they'll be talking loud like, hey, what, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you'll come over to them, and they'll be like, I'm laughing. Oh, really? I've never heard anybody laugh in by saying words laughing is like not not yapping away about yes whatever bullshit you're talking about and then you come over to

them and tell them to be quiet and they look at you like you're the asshole and then they get like all defensive and then uh as soon as somebody mouths off i I say, get up. You got to go. Good. And then I go like this to security. Great technique. Yeah. I like that. That's a good wave.

Yeah. And then they come over. And then the guy's like, yeah, get security over here. I'm like, yeah. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. So you can leave. Have you ever kicked out a stoker? Have you ever kicked someone out and they're like, dude, I out a stoker? Have you ever had to kick someone out

and they're like, dude, I'm a stoker? No. No, the stokers are cool. They know what's up. They wouldn't do that. But so you told them to leave and then how did it get to the point where there was almost an exchange of fists?

Because people get really upset and then they called my manager uh he called him 800 pounds he's a bigger guy it's not that's rude rude yeah and then i and then i i said some words back and then the guy told me oh you're mad just because no woman will touch you and then he that was kind of uncalled for very uncalled for and he's very wrong about that yeah yeah yeah that's true yeah because i've seen you kiss like four girls yeah i mean this guy was just good yeah it's a good to see how many i don't i'm trying to think how many of my bros i've seen kiss girls that's a good amount of number i've seen i saw you kiss

that alex girl senior year of high school you did yeah when at the bar dude i remember that and brooks dude i hadn't made out really ever i didn't make out till like senior year really yeah and i remember brooks cheer and i looked at my bro and i was like alex time out and i look at brooks i go hell yeah dude hey dude i did that too when i made out hey virgin virgin was stephanie after a dance i remember that in the limo bryce seaman made fun of me. He's like, dude, you acted so cool afterwards. You put your arm around her and you were like. It's like, all right, Bryce, dude, we don't have girlfriends, dude.

Why are you watching me like a hog, dude? Dude, it was cool, dude. Yeah, Bryce Seaman, good guy. Big wave surfer. Very cool guy. A lot of charisma. Loaded. Yeah, he was cool.

Loaded to the gills with Cariz. That's cool. Riz. Riz. We talked about Riz on here. It's a great word. He had Riz for sure. He had Riz. So anyway. We talked about Riz on here. It's a great word. He had Riz for sure. He had Riz.

So anyway, did the guy push you? Did anyone touch? Or was it just words? Well, that's the thing. Yeah. Sometimes people get in your face and then they're waiting for you to touch them. And then the other thing, too, is people are pulling out their phones right away and recording. As you're trying to kick them out.

It's the worst. They think it's a crime for you to kick them out of a comedy club. No, you're the asshole. We're allowed to kick you out of our establishment. This is not a crime. The cops are going to love this. Oh yeah,

really? They're going to jerk off at it. That's what they're going to do. The cops are going to love this. Yeah, call call the cops see if they show up they won't send a patrol car are you kidding me for a comedy club kick out no chance yeah those people just haven't been on the receiving end of justice so they think anything that happens to them must be the opposite it was seriously these couples like these women and these two dudes yeah they were literally like in their 50s they're like

dressed all rich and the women had the you know the big boobs which the bolt you know you love to see that but you know keep fighting a good fight yeah but don't come in here and think you're the shit yeah there's rules and then they try to neg me you know they i tell them to be quiet and then they they keep like looking over at me and then they told one of the servers that i was a dick and then she told me that they said that and then uh i had it out for him after that yeah yeah get him out so i was looking for a reason to get him out i like that you found that reason who was on stage during uh the kick out it was actually ron taylor who is actually someone good to have on stage? During the kickout, it was actually Ron Taylor,

who is actually someone good to have on stage during something like that because he was cool about it. He can roll with it. Yeah, Ron's great. He's one of my favorite people to watch, by the way. I don't know if it would have prevented this situation, but it definitely would have made whatever you said to them as pointed and as rude as you decided.

Or not rude, as pointed and deserved rude as you decided and or not rude as pointed and and deserved and hard-hitting as as you desired it's a magic mind i don't like the sound of magic mind because it makes me sound like it makes me think of mushrooms oh russians there's quarter sets lines man yeah i don't want but not not not like uh psychedelic not psychedelic ones i don't know but not not not like uh psychedelic not psychedelic ones i don't know they're not the psychedelic kind what's with the cargo pants by the way people say those are coming back you know what they're not i've had this you know i was at the gym and i was thinking this morning i was like i need cargo pants no what are you gonna put in those

pockets carabiners from magic climb yeah carabiners magic magic mind too yeah carabiners. Magic mine, too. Carabiners, are you a valet? I'm going to put chalk in there. No, we are. Don't try to copy us. I can lift in front of you. I can copy whoever I want. I'm not copying you. I just like it. Chalk.

Like jumbo chalk for the sidewalk? You want to do a hopscotch? Sky blue at the end. Bro, we should all skip rope. Sky blue, fuckheads. Oh, my God. We should do like a jump rope circle. Double dutch with Joe. Dude, that'd be fun, man. a jump rope circle double dutch with Joe

Joe can we double dutch you that's probably a great workout just adult men double dutching if you want to get some fast twitch and some bounce I forgot what double dutch is he doesn't know what double dutch is oh okay I don't know I played like real sports

so I don't know when you do jump rope do you have to tape up your hog? Yeah. Okay. Well, you use the hog. Yeah, I was going to say. That's what you jump around? Yeah, grab the other side and swing it.

Have people ever done double dutch with your dink and then you cream during it? Yeah. I think I wore that shirt on like fourth grade picture day or something i wore something similar to that and you look the exact same as you do now i'm being festive for episode dude it's great and your chest lettuce right now dude it's just yeah what's going on that's beautiful jealous you're into it i like that it's man dude that's that's i like that pure man oh he's taking it off oh he's going multiple yeah dude you are like pierce brosnan from the pool ballistic oh yeah yeah

yeah good shot oh you got a pimple on your yeah it's beautiful blemish dude without imperfection there can be no that's real and plus in the movie they just airbrush that shit out oh yeah it's gone it just gets editor just wipes it. It VFX people. This is the scar from my birthmark. That's good, too. Oh. And you don't even have to tell that story.

It could be a shark or something, dude. Well, they say in a past life it's because I was shot in World War II. Whoa. Oh, yeah. You're lucky it wasn't

a gunshot, dude. Yeah, they caught you right above all the complicated toxins of the stomach. Dude, yeah. Dude, maybe even a way away. I think I just got one right in the heart and just was like sayonara and i emerged in 1990 as a stoke lord bro dude civil war so gut shot was the worst thing you could get besides a headshot right but gut shot sucked more because you died slow but then if they hit you in like a limb they just

chopped the limb off no time just later yeah just good night to your arm dude there must have been so many armless and legless people back then yeah yeah it must have been like 15 of the pop just was missing yeah you know one of the big vestiges of the body well you know when uh in lincoln when um what's his face joseph gordon-levitt justin gordon-levitt he sees all the limbs being thrown into a pile. That's so grotesque, dude. Yeah. So gnarly, dude.

Do you think if you lost a limb, you'd be able to overcome it and be more stoked? Dude, that's what I think of. I don't know. Yeah, phantom stoked. They call it phantom pain, but there's phantom stoked, too. You're just like, I love this arm. They're like, there's no arm there. You're like, this is the sickest arm ever.

Yeah, dude. Look how jacked it is. Yeah, it's gotten more swole since i lost the vascularity in here is insane there is that thing to the hedonic treadmill right like they say people who go through things like that you always return to your original level of stoke so if you're a stoked person but i don't know if i actually believe that because i know a dude who went through some horrible stuff and he was definitely more bummed out afterwards i don't think they include actually believe that because I know a dude who went through some horrible stuff and he was definitely more bummed out afterwards. I don't think they include those people in studies. I think that's the dirty secret about studies.

There's a bias. Yeah, they're like, wait, you're stoked, right? Even though you went through some hardcore shit and he's like, no, I'm fucking miserable. Yeah, not necessarily. Dude just got excluded from this happy study. Like remember that 127 hours? Yeah.

Like what was that guy in such a rush to get, like he's out in the wilderness escaping life why is he cutting off his arm to get back to what paying rent and not getting laid yeah he should just die dude that's interesting just die that's a much more like uh kind of meditative version of the movie yeah also why did it have that crazy music from like slumdog that was all jacked up yes the director's probably like this some producers like this movie this works it got people going director let's do it was it really there you go probably it worked the same people yeah but i was like it doesn't match dude it should have been fucking better bro dude exactly should have been better should do every any

emotional dude any emotional white dude going into the wilderness needs to be better scoring that soundtrack. We got to vet that. His arm is stuck. They're like, cut it off. He's like, I'll never get laid. Yeah. And dude, remember he met some cute girls. Yeah.

Shame. Yeah, it was Kate Mara and Amber Tamblyn. Just out there in the wilderness. I talk about them like I went to high school with them. Do you remember Kate Mara's party, dude? That would have been sick. Her family owns the Giants and the Steelers.

Right. That's the Roonies. Yeah, Dan Rooney. That's why they named her Rooney Mara. Oh, what the fuck? Oh, dude. Dude, you just got fucking noticed. How do you own all that?

Put you on notice. I mean, they're distant family, but they're family, dude. Dude, because this is America, dude. And they're job creators, dude. Bro, you put me on the spot, and I just bounced. That's what's up, dude. If someone puts you on the spot, bounce, dude. Yeah, that's true.

What's my voice doing, though? I thought your voice sounds good. It sound like this? Oh, beautiful timbre to your voice. Yeah, that's true. What's my voice doing, though? I thought your voice sounds good. It sound like this? Oh, beautiful timbre to your voice. Yeah, it sounds like that. Timbre. That's what people say. I look old, dude.

Circling back to that, I want to talk about me again, dude. It hurts, huh? It's sticking with you? It just made me think about it. I've been looking in the mirror at night just like this for a long time. You got to take care of your skin. I think you look the exact same. Dude, thank you.

Do you have a skin regimen besides the one on your dink? Yeah, my skin regimen is just putting plenty of healthy lotion on my cock. Rubbing it. Do you use lotion when you masturbate for real? You know what? I've only started doing that. Interesting. I used to just go raw dog.

Of course. It's better. You want more grit. But dude, if you are insecure about it you could embrace it and be like all right i'm a silver fox now you could even dye your hair gray you could start wearing like blazers no shirt underneath dude drinking dosekies yeah that's exactly what i need to do blazers you don't need to lean into it george clooney in those uh commercials yeah that's what i need yeah michael clayton a of hot actors, they'll let themselves go gray, but they'll do work

to everything else. Everyone's like, oh, they're aging so gracefully, but it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. They're doing a full frontal assault on everything else. So then they just look like a 25 year old with like a 90 year old's headpiece. Dude, that's smart. It's smart. They're hiding in plain sight.

Yeah. Dude, if you came in looking like the colonel oh dude yes wearing one of those like what are those tied those sashay just sashays I didn't know that was a thing I need yeah I need dude I need to get us I need to dress like it in a sashay and get some cargo shorts those in again or no those out no just pants slept in these pants that's why i wore them i normally wear jeans yeah it's a good good sleeping pant you slept in the pants i think so you don't sleep nude no i don't you know it's funny i like sleeping with a t-shirt on do you sleep in your bed now what do you mean because i used to sleep on the couch yeah so it's funny i i sleep on the couch. Yeah, so it's funny.

I start on the couch, and then I'll normally go into bed at like 2 or 3 in the morning. That's what my girlfriend does. I like to watch TV to go to sleep. I read somewhere that it's a trauma response because you don't want to feel alone. Whoa. Yeah, but that was like for other people. Yeah, that's true. I just like TV.

Yeah, but you're not single. Someone's there, so you're not alone yeah but but she's sleeping she goes to sleep early because she's she's tired oh why she tired i don't know she says it's because of the twins i'm not buying it no there's no excuse dude stay up stay up late we can watch another episode dude we've been watching the new Sex and the City oh and just like that terrible it's so bad terrible

and I like the original Sex and the City but here's the thing the original Sex and the City was just four chicks getting fucked and then talking about it with each other

and being risque the new one's like this prestige show where they're like aware that the show used to be too white so now they all have like a minority best friend,

but they don't write those characters with any specificity and it feels totally just tacked in. And then they're not even boning that much anymore. Oh, they should be boning. There's no Samantha. That's the thing. They lost all the juice without some, you cannot make the show without Samantha.

She's the one that, and I love Sarah Jessica Parker. She delivers dialogue with a lot of zip, but you need samantha in there she's the chaos agent that everybody kind of circles so bad bro it's so bad and uh i didn't really watch the original but i do watch this new one and just like that and the best part about it is because we kind of make fun of watch it that's how that's how we watch it we hate watch it we did i watched hey why don't you turn it off just like that oh just like that yeah i come up with the jokes on the spot we watched three episodes in a row i was like there was no you did that there was not one interesting scene no yeah that's so true zero interesting scenes one thing like she fakes cove in an episode so it's dated it's like like when did they write this i just watched that one and then and then the answer goes and then like the tagline is and that's how i got

covet and you're like dude this is written by someone in sixth grade she dates one handsome guy they give him zero personality just like hey carrie you know carrie if you're not going to tell me how you feel i'm sorry i'm a man i might have to move on i'm like yeah good good good good who are you who are you dude exactly i felt bad for the guy I'm like, yeah, good, good, good, good. Who are you? I was like, who are you, dude? I felt bad for the guy. I'm like, they give him nothing to do. What's the beef?

Do we know what the beef is between Sarah Jessica Parker and whatever the fuck? I don't know what it is exactly. I think maybe it's got to just be egos in play, but they hate each other. Yeah, they do. Because when SJP lost her brother, who I guess she was closest to. SJP. When Kim Cattrall lost her brother, who I guess she was closest to. SJP. When Kim Cattrall lost her brother, who she was closest to in the world, Sarah Jessica Parker sent her a tweet being like, hey, I am so sorry for you.

No matter what happens, we are always family. And then Kim Cattrall wrote back, you are not my family. Please do not speak to me. Whoa. Oh, that happened in real life? Publicly, she wrote that shit, bro. Also, it's like whack. Sarah Jessica Parker doing that in public being like

look at that like look how great she or not in grace she wouldn't let her get away with that i am exactly yeah cattrell was like nah bro i'll call us a thing a thing did the beef start during sex in the city i think so but i think the money train was running they were probably all contractually obligated a big part of it and now she's just out of it. But she is missed. She is missed because you need her. There was only one scene where they all sat around at brunch and talked about like jizz. And when that happened, I was like, all right, now we're clicking. We need that. This is what the show is.

Yeah. But now it's like prestigious. Now it's about like family and like understanding things. I'm like, that's not what this show is. And dude, spoiler alert, but don't watch it. Like Big is dead. Yeah. So you're're like she's bummed out the whole time like i don't want to watch someone really be bummed in that show but like that level she's gonna be single she should be just plowing through interesting people exactly give us some characters the original one she'd

be like boning like a yankee and then like a really cool like politician and like all these and dude how annoying is miranda bro bro impossibly annoying she's got to get off the tv exactly dude dude every scene she's in you're just like oh she's the same actress yeah and she's sleeping with some like not funny comedian girl who's like the worst character ever and uh and she's like abandon her her son who's like a total head case and i'm like what are you doing go back to your go back to live your life go back to new york you gotta get back to new york sweetheart they're having the dumbest fight she like blows the girls tv taping and then she's like i was going to the worst fight ever tv taping yeah exactly dude tony danza rips though he's

great i was stoked to see tony danza everybody else look bad dude it's true he's so good he's great i was stoked to see tony danza everybody else look bad dude it's true he's so good he's so good i'm like i'm like you girls are getting dusted as his character and also on the show yeah that's part dude very male take we like the show we like the show dude it made me go watch the garbage kicking field goal kicking philadelphia phenomenon right oh you ripped that that was a good show that's a good movie sick movie dude disney original movie dude. Dude, Disney original movie, dude. Che Guevara. What do you think, Joe? Did his shirt remind you of Che Guevara? Yeah. Well, it's not. It's the Blues Brothers.

It's a good shirt. It's a Blues Brothers shirt. Jake and Elwood Blues. Did you guys hear Chad's beefing up? Dude, do I hear or do I see it? This came out yesterday on the pod. Am I seeing it? I don't know. Dude, the arms do look big. Bro. Dude, I just came from I was... Dude, they I hear or do I see it? This came out yesterday on the pod. Am I seeing it? I don't know. Dude, the arms do look big. Bro. Dude, I just came from, I was, so I.

Dude, they look big, bro. Yeah, I was in a time, thank you. I was in a time crunch. So this morning, I walked the dog, and then I went to the gym. I did 10 minutes of sprints, and then I did deadlifts and 100 pushups. Whoa. Because I only had 20 minutes. Oh, wow, nice.

Those are testosterone boosting. Like, deadlifts will get you big, bro. Those legs, dude. That posterior chain is going to get swole. Dude, yeah. I was frustrated because I only had so much time. So I was like, I just need to bang. Which, honestly, if you have, like, limited time,

then you just bang it out quick. And some people say there's more upside in those shorter workouts. Like, everyone's body's different. You might develop more mass that way. Dude, yeah. So I'm trying to get huge. I'm trying to get, like, can't wipe your own ass huge good yeah dude i was with fucking lats

i gotta tell you because we did the andrew lopez episode last night for people listening in podcast time yeah um and i was shocked that you're getting bigger because for the like years i've known you you've always been like no i'm not a get big guy yeah I'm a svelte guy I want sinewy muscles I was I was I was always like Brad Pitt Fight Club physique which is that's the goal great physique but he's also kind of big he's pretty jacked yeah and and so but I was with my brother you know if you hadn't listened but I was with my brother both my brothers and we were lifting in Vermont and then my brother Mark and I both our backs got twe in vermont and then my brother mark and i both

our backs got tweaked oh which is good and then bill you know the freaking patriarch he's like it's because you guys aren't strong enough wow yeah can also male mandate i believe your back should always be a little tweaked yeah if you're over the age of 30 your back should always be a little tweaked your trap is always a little bit on edge i uh you're rubbing the age of 30, your back should always be a little tweaked. Your trap is always a little bit on edge. You're rubbing something all the time. You're going like this. Yeah, I know. I'm okay.

But, dude, yeah. So, I made that decision. I was like to my girlfriend. I was like, babe, I'm getting jacked. I made the decision. But I've been lifting heavy, and there is something to it. Where, like, when you're doing big squats or dead deadlifts or just like lifting heavy fundamental compound lifts yeah it's like the testosterone where you just sort of i'm like surveying real estate you've had more tea i can

smell you in a good way do you think you could build do you think you could build the chest though i don't know it seems i don't know if you can all right joe all right i don't know if there's chest i was just about to get stoked dude I was just about to get stoked, dude. I was just about to get stoked. What are you talking about? My chest not working? He's got a pretty big girdle, dude. I don't know if your chest can feel.

Great pop and fill. Great pop and fill. Joe, I'll take the shirt off right in front of you. Dude, I texted him about it yesterday. I was like, dude, just an update. Chad's looking to get swole. Just so you can keep everybody in the loop, normal stuff. Yeah.

And he wrote me back, and he's like, does he have the frame up top for that? I was like, wow. And not even, oh, dude, they're going to square up. They're going to square up. Podcast, dude, first fist fight in podcast history. All right, yeah. Oh, dude. He's looking pretty good there.

The face is perfect for the swole. Dude, you already have the swole guy face. Yeah, you know, I want. You've been working on that? Dude, thank you. I just want to get a photo where I'm looking like pretty jacked and wearing a t-shirt and jeans and a hat yes so i'm looking like you know bradley cooper an american sniper i want that that's a great look i think i've entered the age where i want to like i want to i want to have that like oh he protects his

family look yeah this guy this guy is always This guy is always typing into the Ring app with updates for his neighbors. Exactly. Dude, because my brother Mark, shout out to him, he has like a Navy SEAL kind of look. He had a beard. He's thick. He's jacked. And his daughter ran to him. You know, she's three now.

She's running to him, and he just grabs her. And I was like, dude, that's the goal. That's it. That's it right there. You're gonna be doing that soon. I'm trying, I'm putting on weight because I looked at my weight and I was like, that's not a dad's weight.

So I've been putting on pounds consistently. And I want to do it, respond, like my stomach, it sucks. I must have like the, there's ectomorphic, mesomorphic, I'm like the round bodiedied one whichever one that is and so i'm putting on weight in the gut and i'm like no you know you want to keep that as lean as possible and get bigger everywhere else i am like i got good testosterone so my traps get big yeah i guess that's why when you do tea yeah the traps explode a lot of testosterone goes into that part of the body dude let's all just do some fucking testosterone bro well i did i did the peptides

which is more like growth hormone androgen or something like that please guys correct me and uh i don't know that didn't kick that didn't work for me yeah but but dude there's something for everybody there's an elixir for everybody dude i want to get on it i just pulled a hamstring i'm pissed off about it dude um people are calling me old i'm feeling old I'm gonna fucking try out for some sort of team trying to make a team train yeah that's the difference you don't work out train train thank you yes good call gloves yeah we're getting gloves dude I I saw this photo Chad's garage do can I sleep in your garage yeah work out do working out in a garage is good for you boost more to working

out in the garage when it's raining and just looking at the rain while you're lifting. And there's thunder. Yeah, let's fucking go. And there's some kind of a revolution happening. Yeah. You know what we got to do? We got to work out in jeans, shirtless, at Gold's Gym.

Perfect. Correct. Yeah, outdoor workout. I'm serious. It's good. In jeans. My buddy, I don't know if you guys saw the photo of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Yoked.

He's yoked. Oh, yeah. That's my buddy, Ryan, spotting him. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. He's yoked. That's my buddy Ryan spotting him. No way, really? People didn't realize he's kind of in the biggest photo in circulation right now. I think he was inclining 135. It's hard to incline 135. Dude, yeah.

An inclined bench on a bar 135? Yeah, that's hard. He's 69. Whoa! Chill out, dude. I think all the Kennedys He's 69. Whoa. That's a chill-ass age. I think all the counties are like always 69. That's a great call. They're like always 69 years old. So true.

Are you worried about getting jacked and how that's going to impact your surfing? No. Strider's got to step out for 15 minutes, guys. He's got a Friday beer. Well, surfing, don't you want to be lower body? He's got to work, bro. I've been working my legs. I'm getting more sturdy down there i still do yoga get my balance uh i guess in terms of getting too thick and not being able to paddle you know that is a concern where you know right now i have good range of motion but if my traps

and lats get so big that yeah you might not even be able to get in the water you'll be like one of the little if i have like a t-rex posture when i'm just like you know going with my hands that is a concern uh but you want to keep your range of motion yeah if that's the case i'll just hydrofoil and romwads dude there's like great stretching routines that you can get into that are all just about maintaining you know your pliability dude yeah sure i'm excited to get huge and just fucking you know just be kind of like everyone's like wow that guy's small workout language is sick yeah like all the words yeah well you guys are saying some like like whatever you just said that's a little too much that's what i mean though but it's great let's just keep it like basic stuff like my uh

my brother said a good one uh what did he say something about lat syndrome oh invisible lats yeah that's i like that that's prevalent it's where you walk like this like you think you got a huge lap he was saying my my one-year-old nephew walks like that. He's those guys at the gym walking like that. He's bowed out. Your brother's jacked, isn't he? Yeah, yeah, he's huge. Yeah, big gym guy. Could you still take him? Oh, yeah, yeah, I could take him.

I have a bigger frame. No, but seriously, if I put time in the gym, I would be bigger than him because I'm taller and I'm like just as wide. Dude, that's awesome. But he's a lot bigger because he goes to the gym. He's part of that gym culture. Who do you think is more ferocious? Ferocious?

Like in a fight. Do you have more anger? Probably. Who would go for the eyes first? I feel like he would go for the eyes.? I feel like he would go for the eyes He's shorter And he would have to come up with ways I could see you boxing like 30's style

Where you're going like this, you know Hands under, dude Yeah, I go under He lands a body shot Ah! Ah! And then you just clock him Yeah, that's right

Yeah, I's right. Yeah, I feel like you got good skin under the skin. What does that mean, man? Like your skin under, like the next level after the epidermis, I feel like your dermis is like fatty and thick and like. Oh, nice. Yeah, I think so. Like you're encased in something like... Like a hot dog or something?

Yeah, but it's like all that fascia is thick. And if someone punches you, it's just like... Yeah, that's what's up. It protects the meat. Joe, what would be your boxing walkout song? Let's say you're walking out. Yeah, that's a good question. Probably there's a huge inflatable dick coming out,

and then you come out. What's your song? Yeah, there would probably be a few options there. If I was boxing, I'd want to come out to probably go Metallica, maybe Master of Puppets or Battery. How Maybe Master of Puppets Or Battery How does Master of Puppets go? I'm not singing it

Can you sing it? Master of Puppets I'm trying to think of the beginning of the song I mean if it's going to be your walkout song You probably want to have it down cold Yeah I'm trying Isn't that every Metallica song? Yeah pretty much It's going to be your walkout song. You probably want to have it down cold. Yeah, I'm trying. Isn't that every Metallica song?

Yeah, pretty much. That's not quite on there. Maybe I should take some magic mind to help me. I just chugged mine, dude, and I got to tell you. I could see it. I could see it. It changed me. Your mind you I could see it I could see change your mind I can see it's moving quicker I'm seeing numbers I'm basically like crow and a beautiful mind yeah but what's better would you rather have a magic mind or a beautiful mind magic because if you have magic you can turn it

beautiful or you could switch to another thing source yeah good point I see when you first said you didn't want Magic Mine because magic reminds you of mushrooms, I thought it was because you just don't like magic. No, I'm cool with magic. That's good. Mushroom's scary? You don't want to get, you know... Well, I don't know. I've, like, dabbled with them, but

yeah, I don't know. It's just, like... But it's been too long. I don't know. I just get afraid of that. These are performance shrooms, though. Lion's Mane, Cordyceps, Chaga. Helps with immunity. Boosts your intelligence. Boosts your energy.

If you take the SATs after you drink this, you're in Harvard. It's done. Oh, nice. I never even took the SATs. Really? How'd you get into Iowa? ACT. Oh, okay. it's done oh nice i never even took the sats really how'd you get into iowa uh act oh okay you still took a standardized test yeah and that region of the country wouldn't uh you didn't have

to take the sat like depending on what school you want to go bad it was in the teens or something dude i took you're a street smart guy. You don't have to say that. Well, it's true. I, uh... No, I mean, I was... You have a lot of common sense. Fine. I mean, there was a lot of those, like,

long reading problems on there. Yeah, I think I got, like, an 18 maybe. Do you just get bored? You're just like, whatever, dude. Yeah, it's terrible. Scantrons and shit. Dude, Scantron? Are they still using those?

I don't know, but... It's not scantron are they still using those i don't know but it's not for me are they still even doing aren't they doing something in lieu of sats they're trying to figure something new out yeah they're like it's not fair it's the big thing now too is just that like it's they're trying to move away from it being so like uh racially based when it comes to like affirmative action and and i don't think they corrected this but people want to focus more on class and then they're like yeah if you're like a rich kid you have a tutor who teaches you how to take the test yeah you get like multiple attempts at the test of course you're going to do better on it yeah and so i mean you know but then i'm like

well you got to fix inequality altogether you can't just go after you know that that's that's a symptom of something. That's not the root cause. The test, I mean. I was taking the SATs. So many people in my grade were having panic attacks, like getting water and just breathing hard. Really?

It's a lot of pressure. Yeah. I mean, I guess I went to like a, you know, kind of prestigious school. So there's a lot of pressure to get into Ivy League there. And so a lot of people were just into ivy league there and so a lot of people were just freaking out i'm so glad i didn't feel pressure until i was like well into my 20s because like i yeah i didn't take school seriously i didn't know i thought i was going to college yeah i didn't feel pressure in high school at all as far as like getting good grades or

whatever but but i still got to be average that's good good. I felt some pressure, but not. When all your sibs went to like great colleges and stuff too. Like what? Like your family's like academics. It's a little tough. Not like they don't work in academia. What kind of big name schools are we talking? My sister went to Yale.

Oh. Yeah. Nice name drop. You imagine him, dude. All of his sibs go to like Ivy League schools and he's just like, I just want to get jacked. Yale? Where even is that? Like, Delaware?

It's a college. Some bullshit place. Delaware? It's in New Haven, dude. Connecticut? New Haven? How do you know? Ever heard of it?

Because I visited one time when I lived in New York, and it was crazy. New Haven, the pizza place? Yeah. Yeah, they got great pizza there. All right, there's no way if Yale's there that that's the best pizza. Well, that's what's weird about Yale. The campus is beautiful. I know Presidente says that.

And then the surrounding city is not as nice. Talk about inequality, bro. I'm big on that, dude. What's that? Nothing. Dude, Yale, what else? Any other ones? Middlebury.

Oh, my cousin went there. No one knows what that is. No, it's a really good liberal arts college. I was just there. It's the most beautiful campus I've ever seen. I had some family members that went to Dingleberry. Oh, dude, it's a good school. Yeah.

You could study... Ass? Ass. Dude, get hip to this now, too. Chad's big on Vermont. Yeah. Yeah, Vermont sounds cool. Is that where Middlebury is?

Yeah, Middlebury, Vermont. Is it really? It's beautiful. I never Vermont sounds cool. Is that where Middlebury is? Yeah, Middlebury, Vermont. Is it really? It's beautiful. I never was into green. I was always a desert guy. Desert, beach. I was always like, green? No, green is cool.

No, because you know what? Green means rain. Yeah. But now I'm, now I like green. Because you're focused more on like the photosynthesis, which means sun? Yeah, it's life. Yeah, I saw a lot of green lawns back in suburban Chicago. Yeah, that is interesting.

You like the desert where it's like most people relate desert to death. Because you look out, you're like, I'll die out here. And all these animals look like they look hardened. Yeah, and I like the old school, like Route 66. You go to a Chevron neon lights and you just tan. So did you like love no country for old men? Because you're like, this brutal landscape just seems... You like that survival shit too, right?

I love the survival. I was like to Josh Brolin, I was like, stay out in the desert, dude. You live in the dream. Take your chances out there. Don't go into town. Have a couple of canteens. Yeah. I'll totally hang out with...'s uh javier bardem's

name there anton chigurh anton yeah i'd be like anton you know like i'll kick it with you in the desert just don't fucking bro that's a good movie dude you and anton chigurh on a road trip together just two elemental forces of the universe but on opposite sides of the spectrum but probably bonded by some sort of shared momentum. He said, I'm going to get, I'm going to go. We need Strider for this. I'm going to go get a car. Yeah.

I'm going to go get a car. And then he does the head pop thing in someone's head. Yeah, the cow. The cow thing. And I'm like, whoa, dude, that was crazy. But I'm glad we got this Impala. That's a cool car. Yeah.

Dude, El Camino, a cool car. Yeah. Dude, El Camino? A sedan truck? Yeah. Ooh. One guy, this neo-Nazi wrestler at my high school drove one. It was like the perfect car for him. Dude. You had a neo-Nazi wrestler?

Dude, he was insane. Yeah, because Nazism was big in RC. Did you go to Catholic school? Yeah. Dude, Orange County, it's so nice. People, when you're a teenager you don't want things to be nice you're angsty so you start rebelling against just the niceness of the area that's why a lot of like punk rock comes out of there so we had like there's like

not many jewish people but like there's like more neo-nazis than jewish people i'm like you kind of you're there yeah like you should just be content but they're like no no no and this kid this kid, he lost a wrestling match to an African-American kid, got his ass rocked. And he was like banging his head into lockers afterwards. I remember being 15. I was like, that guy's got to mellow out. Yeah, he should mellow out. Yeah. I think it was even like a practice meet or something.

Might have been summer school. And I was just like, dude, he was such a psycho. He like got pissed off at me one day because I was like being loud. And he was like 17. he like got pissed off at me one day because i was like being loud and he was like 17 i was like 15 i told one of the teachers like my summer school teacher i was like yeah like schaefer wants to like kick my ass and the teacher was like you need to stay away from him he will hurt you yeah i was like your teacher wow yeah that's that's crazy and i wasn't narcan the teacher was like my buddy we were just incommunicado, just hanging. Speaking of which, you're going to be a dad soon. Yeah, a couple weeks, if that.

Could be any day. It's like any day. How do you feel? Dude, I'm really excited. I'm excited to get to meet them because I feel connected to them, and I'll rub the belly, and I'll talk to them. But it's still kind of in my mind. I think when I lay eyes on them and touch them for the first time, I don't know what it's still kind of in my mind i i haven't when i think when i lay eyes on them and touch them for the first time i don't know what it's going to be like but i assume even if it

could be the most tremendous feeling in the world or maybe it's not as seismic as i wanted it to be and then i'm left wondering and i think that's still cool no i think it will be i'm just excited for whatever i'm just excited yeah but i don't know what that looks like, means. I can't even get specific. I just have anticipation brewing in me. It'll be cool, dude. Brewing in me. I talk weird.

Yeah, you're missing the Fort Wayne shows. Yeah, dude. Strider's going. I'm busy, so don't worry about it. I can't go anyway. Well, we didn't ask. Yeah. No, I'm saying i'm busy i gotta

do my podcast joe code on friday so i did my favorite pod thanks yeah a lot of people say that i got some big plans for friday's episode what are you doing i don't know i'm not i don't want to say okay are you gonna rank well thanks for bringing it up. No, I'm going to try to have some people on, trying to see who can do the best impression of me. Am I coming on? You were one of the people I was probably going to ask, yeah, if you're available. I'm around.

Yeah, I know you're around. Yeah, I was going to ask you. Joe, if you had Elon Musk on your podcast, would you still rank food items? Elon, what would you take on food, beer, and men? Yeah, people have to adapt to what I'm doing. It's not that hard. If they eat food, I'm sure they can answer the freaking questions.

That's what I love about you. Yeah. Yeah, you don't change. You could be with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, and you'd be'd be like that's all fine i get you've been through a lot but roast beef yeah or pastrami yeah i mean like right now yeah let's read some more comments like right now we're talking about sitcoms but yeah i think we're gonna keep we gotta how far back did you i saw you were talking about beer and men related we i don't want to go too far into like pop culture stuff because then that's going to go into other

podcasts. I want to have my own thing. You want to keep it focused. Yeah, but I think it's fair to do that because we've been talking about because we have an email or this guy, Michael, who always talks

about everybody loves Raymond and so it's fine for now he's a big raymond guy i never met anybody who is a big we have uh that's true but yeah this the uh sitcom championship is coming down to uh cheers versus seinfeld nice but you get what cheers is the number one seed seinfeld'seld's the two. Really? Yeah. I only recently started watching Cheers because my lady's into it. Dude, it's good.

Yeah, it's a great show. I mean, I remember watching it back in the day. Good cast of characters. The romantic chemistry between the leads is all time. Do you think the sitcom's going to make a comeback? I don't know. I wish it would. I think about stuff like that. I don't know.

It's tough to say where the world's headed maybe we'll yearn for a more kind of something you're watching because right now real isn't right Twitch

live streams like yeah I'm in the beach in Australia shout out to Jake I think if we write one they're like yeah I'm on the beach in Australia and people are like

this is awesome but now maybe we'll go towards more of like no I want something where I know they're on a set. I need to write a sitcom about starring me.

But I think it will still have components of the real. Right. Like, I think you'll see something like Schultz's show, like Flagrant 2. Yeah. And then, but they'll, like, walk in like they're in a sitcom. Right. Like, one of the guys will be, like, the Kramer and bust through a door. And then you'll just see components of it but it'll get molded

into whatever like the modern version of it are which is more like real more like conversational and doesn't feel scripted do they have have they like established characters on flagrant no not quite but I think there are like when you read the comments like they'll

talk about people as if they're like fixed into one position on the show. And it could be true of any show. It could be impulsive or whatever. I just think it seems like people are living out this Adam 22 thing. Did you see this? Yeah. Do you know Adam 22?

I know. I've heard the name. He's a huge podcaster. And him and his girl do a podcast where she's like a pornographic actress. Oh, yeah, yeah. And then they would do episodes with female porn stars. And then they would like bone the female porn star afterwards. We actually did a podcast next to him one time with Sophia Franklin.

They were boning. And she's like, they're boning over there. And I was like, really? But then they all came out laughing. I was like, oh, that's nice. But now his girl is having sex with a guy and everyone's like talking about it and commenting on it. Again, it's kind of like everything now.

Like everyone's talking about them like they know them. Yeah. And projecting things onto their relationship, which is hard not to because it's an extreme thing that they're doing. But that's like the TV show. Yeah. And then he's like, the next couple months we'll be watching how he reacts to that right it was it was just a one-time thing for a scene right yeah but then everyone's like no floodgates are open dude it's

the beginning of the end bro she got the rock now she's gonna take your like shit and get banged all the time and well that's the thing i saw that she was talking about how she was sore for like four days because the guy's such a huge dink. Right, but I think when she says something like that, she knows that that's going to be, it's probably true. Yeah, it's provocative.

The dude she slept with has a big dong and he drills for a living. But I think they also know like this will be drilling. This will make it more spicy. Because I remember that too. It sticks out in your brain.

You're like, oh my God, you know, like, whoa. And he's staying strong. Like, in terms of like how he's behaving on social media, he's trying to be like, I love it. I love it. No, I don't care. And then people watch him like a Zaparuder film

and they're like, no, he's like eye twitched. He's not okay with it. And that's the thing about the intensity of like how much stuff we have on camera now you can just micro observe things yeah i do it all the time and i i don't know i don't to the jonathan and this thing it's like it's my own fault i'm delving into these things and and getting sucked into the rabbit hole but yeah you're talking about it yeah i know and this tmz yeah the rabbit hole has real gravity to it totally it sucks It sucks you in. You're like,

I'll suck you in. No, you won't. Yeah, I will. Then do it right now. Joe, you want to suck me? No, I said I'll suck you in. You want to suck me off, Joe? Shut up. Good hand work. No, you know what? It's funny we say about bringing the sitcom back because we should.

You'd be great on the sitcom. Yeah, that's what i'm saying dude strider's been gone for more than 15 minutes dude should we go get him dude yeah how are the numbers no isn't he on the phone or something yeah guys it is the stuff is really good uh follow hug your bros oh yeah check it out strider's doing good work on there i'm always impressed by the advice he gives him like that was a good thing to tell that youngin oh he's coming back i could see him oh right on cue what up bro sorry fuck dude you're crazy bro strider to uh since joe won't have it to lock back into the pod i think you should take some magic mind dude i'll have a sip of that shit have you had this before a sip let's have a sip of that dude i'm serious look at him already

lowering expectations. He doesn't want it either, dude. Look at his face, bro. What is this fucking thing, dude? Let me smell it, dude. Come on. Have it. It's nootropics.

It's going to make you smarter. Yeah, nootropics, puss. It smells dang, dude. Dude, it tastes delicious. It does taste good. Yeah. It's good. It's not even...

Did you have much? much no i was gonna only take a sip i'm like fucking to go i'm like a house it right out of the gate i gotta tell you these are like the two worst guys to have because like neither of these guys deviate from their food and beverage very much yeah yeah it's not a fucking chicken yeah i'm not i'm not exactly when greg warner peer pressured you into eating from that food truck now do the guy go no here's the thing here's this the best part of the story i go dude i don't want a food truck? No, here's the thing. This is the best part of the story. I go, dude, I don't want a food truck. I would eat from a food truck. He goes, dude,

it's not a food truck. I go, all right. We get there. Technically, he wasn't lying. It was a van with a fucking trailer thing attached to it. It was worse than a food truck. And then I ate the thing.

They were good. It was like molitas. Molitas are tasty. Delicious, tasty. Woke up 2 a.m. pissing out of my ass. Honestly, this stuff was coming out of my ass, dude.

I'm kidding, dude. This stuff's good. Well, you got a sensitive tongue, dude. I'm very sensitive. That's the thing. I'm a very sensitive guy, so I'm hesitant. Like, how many? There was a while.

You're better now, but there was a while there where, like, you'd be like, yeah, I like Wahoos, but then you'd have one bad meal there or something, and you were like, it's off the list. Gone. Gone. I was checking places off my list, dude. You were strong about it. And I only had, like, four places. I was going to In-N-'s off the list. Gone. Gone. I was checking places off my list. You were strong about it. And I only had like four places. I was going in and out for every meal.

Yeah. That's all I could eat. And then breakfast burritos from Kofax. Kofax, dude. Oh, yeah. Are you gluten? Is it gluten? No.

Dude, it was just, I think it was just too much oils and like acidity. Really? And I was housing, dude, I was being a dumbass. I was housing cold brews with a shot of espresso on an empty stomach setting myself yeah that'll yeah bros breakfast burritos overrated no mm-hmm no they're not overrated sure I'm always a guy do you like breakfast now but you know I think era one has the best breakfast burrito in town yeah yeah isn't it a Isn't that a bummer, though? I know.

Why is that a bummer? Because it should be something that's... It should be something that's regional and kind of like mom and pop. There's a little sand in it because it's close to a beach. You don't want it to be like a... What is Erewhon? Like a gross kind of... You don't want it to be from a bougie place.

The doghouse, they look like they have good breakfast burritos. That place, the Dog House. Oh, is that over on, like, Magnolia in the Valley? Well, yeah. And there's one on Barham or Olive over here by Warner Brothers. Oh, Dog House. I know what you're talking about. Best salsa for a burrito.

Salsa Verde? I go red. For a breakfast burrito? Yeah. Yeah, breakfast burrito salsa verde i go 100 for breakfast burrito yeah uh yeah breakfast burrito um yeah i'd say the green yeah the green one the verde yeah i like that you just said green well i didn't want to say it we verde that's how you say it breakfast tacos are tanked texas style dude i'm not that big. Yeah, in Austin they have them. Yeah, I mean, they're good. Well, the thing with those, I wouldn't get like the queso on them because then it's like

runny with the eggs. I would just get the melted cheese. That's the way to do it. That's my big beef. All the, yeah. I don't want it running. I don't want it running. Stay put.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You dip. You dip. Should we do some cues? Fuck yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You dip. You dip. Should we do some cues? Yeah. You want to do the audio ones? Because we do have... Jake sent some in.

Yeah, let's do audio. All right. Cool, cool, cool. Let me see if I got them here. Headphones, dudes. Was I wearing my headphones the whole time? Yeah, even when he left. Yeah, dude.

Was that wearing my headphones the whole time? Yeah, even when he left. Yeah, dude. Aaron, how are you doing? I'm okay. Aaron, you're just being a beast over there, dude. He was sick, dude. Yeah, I've been playing Hurt. You're sick?

I was. From what? Just a cold. Did you watch the All-Star game, dude? No, I was here recording the boys yesterday. Oh, right. NL won for the first time since 2012? Yeah.

I watched a little of the Derby. How do you lose 10 All-Star games in a row? Who cares, man? Well, it's interesting. I don't care. It's just interesting. I like VNL. What's your favorite Sport all-star

Event They all suck They all suck exactly Football sucks I don't even know What sport they're playing Football's the worst They should play pickleball

Honestly baseball's Probably the best I think you're right That's what I was gonna say I think it might be the best When we were young It was actually kind of It was a little bit

More competitive Dude I remember the one Where they ran out of guys And they had to call it a tie Really? Yeah What year was that? That was at 05 or three oh that was at miller park when uh people started

throwing stuff on the field and my friend ryan i probably shouldn't say his name but he takes credit for uh being the first guy to throw something that's amazing dude i started that that's awesome fully sober picked up someone else's beer and threw it but they they don't do the thing anymore where it's

the winner gets home field in the world series no not anymore no that was too high of stakes that was weird dude someone had a good solution one time

they wrote into a pod that at the end of that all-star game that ended in a tie they should have just got creative and had like Itra Suzuki who might have been

the fastest guy from the AL race like I'm gonna get who was on the team wrong but like d gordon like a fast guy from the nl and just have them race and whoever won the race won the game oh yeah i like that kind of like a shootout almost in uh yeah oh nice nips what a treat chad what a treat you're giving us today. Anybody listening in the audio format should know. Let me paint you a word picture. Chad's perfectly chiseled chest, sprinkled with nice chest lettuce, aka pubicle chest hair.

And his nip is exposed, and he's nodding confidently as if saying, yes, sir, I will take another pina colada. Looks like Grimace. Grimace. Thanks. Like Grimace. Yeah, give take another pina colada. Looks like Grimace. Grimace. Thanks. Like Grimace.

Yeah, give me another pina colada. Dude, I actually went to fucking a food truck today. I've turned a corner, bro. Got a bagel from a food truck this morning. Dank. Bagel's safe, though. Bagel's safe. JT, you still know me.

Exactly. It's going to be something I can trust, you know? Yeah, like which part of that can they fool around with? Very true. And they were playing Kevin Little, bro. Oh, turn me on? It made me think of you. I was like, I'm about to go see JT. Chad looks like he's in the music video.

You do look like you're in that. Turn me on, turn me on, so let me love you. Remember when I was dancing with my family friend? Oh no, it was Robert. But dude, you used to just play that. We'd walk in, anytime a bro would cruise out, we used to hang in Chris Parr's room. And anytime a bro entered,

JT would music cue that song. We'd all get up and fucking dance. That was it, dude. That song had it. I would put that song up there. Dude, I was talking about last night, the Fast Five song. You know, like,

Oh, but, da-da, but, da. That's not how it goes at all. Hey guys, I'm going to have to pee. I keep just downing these liquids. So I'll be right back. Yeah, man. Do you want to take a magic mine with you? Are you actually talking to your doctor? You said you had a doctor thing. All right. Well, I'm just you know, could you this fish is that magic mind?

Oh, I booth magic man every day. He's always yelling at me. You know what? That's what it takes to we're capitalists over here Dude, all right. Do you define that way? Of course, dude. That's the first thing I say about myself dude i think that's kind of key right you know like with identity stuff we're all going with like our uh you know uh orientation sexually or gender wise but dude really what's the bedrock of how we live and and the the kind of framework with which we define i'm'm a consumer. I say I'm a consumer and I'm a darter and a fucking chiller. I think that's very interesting. Yeah. Cause you know,

you shouldn't be locked into saying you shouldn't be locked into anything. I'm all down for leading with the pronouns, but you should also be able to lead. We should all just lead all conversations with some kind of identifier, but it shouldn't have to be in that realm. It could also be like, yeah, I'm a capitalist. I'm a stoker and I'm a crier. Yeah, exactly. I think, you know, me after that, 100%, you know, me. Yeah. Sometimes dude, you're going to be identifying students. I'm a father dude. And be respectful of those things. You know what I mean?

I'm truly respectful, whatever you want, whatever you want to be called. I'm down, cost me nothing. I'll say it. But at the same time, I you want to be called, I'm down. Cost me nothing. I'll say it. But at the same time, I'd love to throw a little info up top. I like that. Exactly right. A thousand percent. Vital info.

I'm a defender. Joe's a protector. That's his Myers-Briggs test. I'm a campaigner. I'm a campaigner. Really? Yeah. Fuck, what was I?

We did that on here. I forgot. Were you like the mayor? I think I might have been mayor. Were you two? I was a campaigner too, I think. You're an ENFP. I'm E something. I'm definitely extrovert. I think you're ENTJ. I think that sounds probably right.

I think Magic Johnson was one of those. Good company. For sure. Magic, dude. Oh yeah, we're sponsored by Magic Johnson too. Are you guys ready? Sure, yeah, let's go. Nuclear chemist in the Navy. Or should we wait for Joe? He's here. No, let's go nuclear chemist in the Navy or should we wait for Joe he's here no let's go right on cue look it right on cue look at this dude oh yeah we go wait Joe where'd you go dude that was so fast

I feel like you did something else. Put on your cans, Joe. What was the question? You're about to hear it, brother. What? Hello, guys. I'm calling to you from Charleston, South Carolina, where I'm a nuclear chemist

in the Navy. Hello, sir. I am a nuclear chemist in the Navy. Oh, hold on. Hello, sir. I am a nuclear chemist in the Navy. What? That's cool. Wanted to call in and ask, how much gas is too much gas?

I, growing up, was nicknamed the firecracker by my parents because of how much I farted and wanted to get obviously Chad's opinion because I know JT is no gas is too much gas in a relationship how much is too much

because I think they're all hilarious all the time my girlfriend she does not so yeah thank you and much because I think they're all hilarious all the time. My girlfriend, she does not. So, yeah, thank you and hope you have a fantastic day. I'm going to slide in here real quick and then I'm going to remove myself from the conversation. I will say this. You're lucky you're a nuclear chemist in the Navy and that you have a girlfriend because those two things remove you from just being a complete pile of ugly goo. Dude, you fart all the time. You have never heard me fart.

Yeah, JT doesn't fart. You have never heard me fart. JT hates farts. I would never. Dude, for you to be saying I fart all the time, dude. I would never think to fart in public. Dude, don't even. You know what?

Whatever you want to put out there publicly, that's your business. Not my job to say anything otherwise. I fart anywhere, anytime. That's true. That's the real shit. I don't think about if it's going to smell or not. Elevator? Not aware of it.

Yeah, for an elevator, it gets your stomach. That change in altitude? Yeah, I mean, you can't control that. I would love to be in an elevator. Everyone expects it by now. I would love to be in an elevator with Joe and he just farts. This is the thing, he holds eye contact.

It's a little bit bullying. Yeah, it is. There's music playing so no one can hear it. I gotta say, on this subject i've turned the corner on it i used to be kind of like no fart guy that's disgusting but once i broke the seal with my girlfriend now it's like so it's it's just great it's hilarious yeah i uh i kind of let it rip honestly what she does i think it's cute you know it's a lie i don't punish someone for having the the slip you know what i mean but it's when it starts getting flagged as exciting then i'm like

all right let's let's rain yeah like check out what i did or this is so funny no and look we talked about your farts on history as dank senior year in english class those were genius but there was a performative aspect to it that i think elevated the form yes exactly because it was out of place out of time it was it was a juxtap to it that I think elevated the form. Yes, exactly. Because it was out of place, out of time. It was a juxtaposition of I was doing something that you should do in your home. And you were leaning into something that was humiliating and you were taking control of it. You know, when Joe just farts on me when we're living together, it's terrible. I can't add parts to it.

I was a high school student. It's in my place where I'm paying rent, you know. That's fair. That's fair. I like that so whatever man this guy sounds like he's got a stressful job and i feel like there's a uh balance of like guys who have like really stressful jobs often like the silliest zaniest like thing so it's like he's probably just going for the lowest immature zero brain activity thing

to get a laugh because like every day he's got to be like i don't know well it's fun to like it's like he's probably just going for the lowest immature zero brain activity thing to get a laugh because like Every day he's got to be like, I don't know. Well, it's fun. It's fun He's a chemist. It's it's there's enough there to get away with it. Yeah, it's fun to a relationship where you keep it kind of taboo Where it when it when it when you hear it, then you're sort of like You know what? I mean? Yeah I think it's like anything it's like andrew lopez was talking about the sacred yeah keep fart sacred you know if it busts out once in a while it's more special that way yeah if you're farting willy-nilly

you're just reminding everyone that we're just receptacles of waste and that you know all we do is is fart and piss and come occasionally before we die. I think I, I don't know. I've kind of, I used to think it because people would be like, oh, it's bodily functions. It's just, that's just what we do. And we're humans. And I used to be like, it's still gross.

But I don't know. Now I'm kind of like. Healthy middle ground. Yeah. I don't know. I need to rein it in probably. I've been probably doing it with my girlfriend a little too much does she like it though she loves it well then you're good as long as she's fine cause she loves when

you just go like this it's like you're revealing yourself it's vulnerable it's vulnerable also dude you're bulking up cause you're not proud of it that's part of it too yeah but now lately I've been proud of it cause she likes it right well there you go you feel free hey that's a different thing. Look, if you're scared to fart and then you own the fart, that's beautiful.

You know, because you shouldn't be in prison to anything. 800 number? But then at a certain point, it goes too far the other way and then you're just a fart machine. Yeah. I got yelled at by my wife. This was years ago she goes i feel that's desexualizing because it's like you're like i'm hanging out from one of the guys or farting and rip and that was a line that we came everybody's line is different you know everyone's it's a negotiation so and he said you know he said to answer his

question you know he said his girlfriend doesn't exactly like it so he's probably got to dial back the farts dude yeah she doesn't like it that so he's probably got to dial back the farts. Yeah, if she doesn't like it, that's something. And what are you doing? Yeah, you got to gauge your partners, how they feel about it. Yeah. Some people, you know, I've had roommates before. We could have found a healthy middle ground, but they just wanted to toot all day.

Yeah. You know, I'm on the phone. My dad's getting his reports back from the doctor. Joe's farting in my head yeah whatever i don't care well because because that's interesting too it's like on stage there's there's two there's two kinds of disliking something too like it sounds like his girlfriend genuinely dislikes it because like there's jokes i make to my girlfriend that i get a sick pleasure

out of that she doesn't like yeah but then i'll peek around the corner like i'll say it when i'm at a like uh her view and then i'll come around the corner and she's smiling like she likes that she doesn't like it yeah but this is like i'm betting here this guy's coming home from work and he's just farting and she's like babe less farts and i think that's okay do you think he's like trying to explain it like no but do you get it though like i'm home now why it's not hard do you know why it's funny get it right yeah here's the thing too well is he lighting him on fire dude he's a chemist yeah that's true before i met my girlfriend i i hated farts i if a girl farted i thought it was horrific disgusting but i think being with her i don't know it just changed i'm like oh oh that's cute you know

what i mean yeah and i don't want to yuck anyone's i like i like her farts that's nice that's cute. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I don't want to yuck anyone's yums. I like her farts. That's nice. That's the cutest thing I've ever heard in my life, bro. That's really nice. Yeah. And I think everyone's got their stuff because I'm, you know, I'll talk about whacking it until the crows come home. But, you know, then it comes to farts and all of a sudden I'm a prude.

It's like, you know, we pick and choose our shit a little bit. Yeah. Exactly. What country do you want to live in? This guy wants to live in Fart Town, USA and that's okay. Dude, the funniest is Kevin,

the small world sent me videos of him like, because he loves dong humor. He loves loads. Yeah, dude. I don't know if you

knew this. Kebo? He loves jacking off and he'll send me videos. He sent me videos of him watching The Idol

and his wife. Good show. It just doesn't go forward at all. He'll be watching a sexual scene in The Idol where she's taking her clothes off. And he'll just be filming it. Just, oh, oh. And she'll be like, Kevin, shut up. This is perverted.

And that's something where it's like. He's a lucky guy. Genuinely, genuinely. generally Kevin Kevin boning I imagine Kevin boning where he's like yeah just with this load what if he's very gentle did what if he's I think he is he told me he'll make jokes make sense yeah big faux pas hey once again i can't yuck anyone's yums but like he'll be like he'll go do you want daddy to splooge yeah he probably yeah he probably calls himself daddy during sex oh fuck do you think he wants to get bagged during sex like he wants to get bagged i bagged

him before while he was having sex. Yeah. Dude, Chad kicked in the door, was in full Call of Duty garb. Yeah. And then just jumped on the bed and started bagging. You were mid-MIRF, dude. You did a MIRF. Well, you know how people, they like to, like, when they jerk off, they like to do asphyxiation. Oh, yeah.

Autoerotic asphyxiation. That's, like, his thing. But it's bagging. Yeah. I feel like the first guy. Bag asphyxiation that's like his thing but but it's bagging yeah i feel like the first guy back fixation like when your homie dies from autoerotic asphyxiation like especially back in the day before we had much like before we had the internet knew about it yeah when they were like how do you die and they're like he died strangling himself and coming and then everyone

was like that's awful you shouldn't do and then everyone went home and was like i'm gonna try it dude yeah oh yeah dude you found out i didn't even get all the information i remember my parents like he died jacking off like trying to like keep me from doing it yeah and i was like whoa you can jack off so well that you just straight up die like they think so well you find you find like perfection yeah like i was like that's amazing because you go hard because i pictured it like skiing or snowboarding i'm like you hit the fattest jump or the doest thing I was like what can I do to my dick that with my hands

that's that it doesn't feel as extreme but you can get there yeah exactly dude one of the great scenes in Weeds when Kevin

Nealon you think he's gonna kill himself he's putting the noose around his neck and then he just starts jacking off did you watch

Weeds with your mom? no I watched Sopranos and Sex in the City with my mom my mom was big on Weeds oh your mom? No, I watched Sopranos and Sex and the City with my mom. My mom was big on Weeds.

Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Should we do the next cue? Yeah, okay. I'll read them. So we have Improv Thief, Political Nipples, Stuck in Bali. I like Stuck in Bali.

I got to say the Nuclear Chemist one threw me for a loop because it says Nuclear Chemist and Navy, and it ended up being about farts. Yeah, bro. Lead with farts next. Let us know so we can skip it. Do you got to talk to your doctor up being about fart. Yeah, bro. Lead with farts. Let us know so we can skip it. Do you have to talk to your doctor? I think so. Well, they call. This is 300s a disaster.

This is like if the Greeks, like if guys were leaving, you know. Yeah, everyone's like, hey, I got to go. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, man. I got to leave the battle for a while. My car needs a tune up.

Yeah, because you got to hold the shield and protect the guy next to you. Yeah, we're failing. You guys are dead. You guys are dead. Are you bros ready? It's fine. It is what it is. What up?

I'm out here from Bali, Indonesia. I'm here with my girlfriend and we love each other. Nice. Congrats. I don't think we want each other. Nice. Awesome. Congrats. But I think,

I don't think we want to date anymore, and it's a pretty mutual thing. We're going to Thailand tomorrow, and then we're going to be there for a couple weeks, and we have plans to fly to Amsterdam. She wants to, to like stay friends throughout it and just kind of like do the rest of it and I'm down because I like her as a person it just seems kind of like a tricky situation

um she in the I don't know what you guys have thoughts on this. I could really use some advice. How many U-turns is this guy pulling? I don't want to bail on our plans, but if I did bail a little bit, I'd probably only be losing like $300. Damn. I don't know. Give me your thoughts.

He doesn't want to go. Stay in Bali. Stay in Bali indefinitely. Brother man, from the bottom of my heart, I mean this with total sincerity. Do not lose your passport. What are people doing in Bali? People keep going there.

What is that? It's beautiful. It's like where screensavers come and it's like cabo for aussies yeah i mean dude this guy which is sick if you also get caught smoking weed i have no desire to go you can't smoke weed in indonesia yeah you can't bone you can't even bone yeah you're right i mean i don't think he's got to go on the rest of this trip with the girl she'll be all right man i mean like it's it's she's gonna travel alone maybe that's she's gauge that out how does she feel about that bro that's how my one of my favorite movies of all time before sunset that's how it start or before sun taken yeah dude no don't pivot that way. I'm trying to make it romantic, dog. Go, go, go.

Fine, fine. You're right. It's beautiful, though. Ethan Hawke, he's on the train. He's actually leaving one girl. And then on the train, he meets the love of his life. Foreshine. It's a great movie.

It's a once-in-a-lifetime trip, and you're in a situation that's definitely going to make it a chore rather than an adventure. Here's the thing that the $300 though. That's why I say stay on the trip. Just because it like this thing if he stays with her if he's if he bails then he's losing 300 bones.

All right. That's how you bail. Can we put a number on the stress? Yeah, exactly. Can we put a number on the what's what's the money value of having to hang out for two weeks and all these amazing places with someone that you need space from in the thousands 1500 i think i think i'm putting out 1500 bucks yeah actually i put it like three i think three grand i think it's around three grand yeah it's three grand worth of bummer so you're saying sacrifice the three bones 300 bones stay, stay in Bali. Stay in Bali. Bali's not that expensive.

A dollar's like a million rupees there. Dude, get some bintangs, go hang out at the monkey forest. Listen to those words. Go shred Uluwatu. Get a freaking moped, get a board, and just paddle out. And if you're not a good surfer, paddle out and die. And then that'll be the most epic trip of all time. That's chill. Yeah. She of all time. That's chill.

She'll remember that. That's a great call, dude. I gotta like this guy's even keelness on it too. Like he's not mad at her. He's not upset. He's just happy it happened. But it's the end of that journey. It's the beginning of yours, brother. I could just imagine that Mari doing

maybe she's going a mile a minute. I'm telling you, you did this. You didn't pack anything anything you lost both the passports and he's just like um this dude is definitely i mean that's why i told him bro he looks like he sounds like he misplaces stuff bro big time dude and me too i do that that's why i got the air tag on all my shit now but yeah air tag your shit good call yeah bro i air tagged my dog guess whose idea this wasn't bro i air tagged my dog guess whose idea this wasn't yours how did that conversation go she's like you need these air tags and i was like okay hilarious and then we got him and she's like did you put the air tags on your things yet and i was like i gotta do uh something else first and then you know you scan scan the room for like something to do so it's on your time yeah put it on your

phone you look outside you're like i gotta clean the grill yeah then i'll do it i promise i do that a lot like whenever someone gives me an assignment i'm like all right i will i know for sure i'll do it but i kind of want to just put it on my time time 100 dude that's normal right 100 yeah what do you guys think should you see bale skis yeah man breaking up on vacation is tough, too, man. I feel bad for both of those guys. Joe Arena? I didn't hear what happened. Nice, dude.

Oh, were you outside during that? Yeah, I missed most of the questions. So he's in Bali with a girl they just broke up. Does he go on the rest of the trip with her to Thailand and Amsterdam, or does he pivot? No, I think he'd bail. Yeah, love it. Is that what you guys said? Detach with love, dude.

Yeah. If you love something, like you said, set it free, dude. Chad, we're at 1145. Should we kick into the next part? Yes, sir. All right, Chad,

what's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is... Dude, this guy Carl who lays down in the steam room. Taking up space? Takes up space, dude. And I go into the steam room. Taking up space? Takes up space, dude. And I go into the steam room. As you guys know, I go in towel-less.

I go in naked. You know, I let that skin slap against the granite. And Carl, dude, it's like, look, I've been in the steam room where I've laid down because I'm the only one in there. But this is peak hours. This is like rush hour. This is steam room rush hour this is 7 38 a.m and carl's laying down making people stand and it's like you want to make that good you want to give good ambiance you want everyone to be good at getting a good sweat getting those heat shock

proteins and just talking about you know they'll be like man do you see like frank's hog out there that's massive like good for him do you see oh peter i saw you really getting it in over there you really you know your triceps are popping uh steve you know nice chest hair um keep going there's more guys in there peter i think you should get out of here there's too many guys here um dan good to see you, dude. I haven't seen you in a while. How's your dad? What about Max? Max. Dude, Max,

you have a really small dong and I love it. Madison? It's nice to have a chick in here. Madison rings chick for me. That's a guy's name too. Madison Bumgardner. Whoa, good call. He's the only one. But he's sick, bro. He's a guy's name, too. Madison Bumgardner. Whoa, good call. He's the only one.

He's the only one. But he's sick, bro. He's really good in the postseason. Dude, Madison. Oh, you date Kate Upton, right? Nice. I saw those photos of your jizz. Nice.

That's Justin Verlander. Verlander, yeah. You knew Aaron was going to hop in there. Aaron couldn't. I knew that was Verlander. Also good in the postseason. Dude, we have it on camera when Verlander. Also good in the postseason. We have it on camera when Verlander made

his approach on her, right? He tossed her a ball or something with like a message on it. Oh, wow. So cool. That's the whole reason you play baseball.

Just to toss a ball. Just to do that. Toss a ball to a model. He turned around. He thought about every hour of practice. Every time other guys were partying

and he was just throwing long toss and he was like, it was worth it. A hundred percent. Doing that stretch where you guys pull each other with your long toss and he was like, it was worth it. A hundred percent. Doing that stretch where you guys pull each other with your legs wide, going like that, doing the hammies. Oh, yeah.

Getting that weird body that pitchers have. Just a fat booty. Yeah, weird, yeah. Fat haunches, dude. But yeah, so Carl, he just lays down in there, no respect. Then he uses the shower in there, just totally ruining the heat. And he's a good guy he runs a vape shop

on Venice Boulevard I've talked to him before but I'll come in there and I'll be like sometimes I'll be like dude I don't even know if I want to buy vapes from you anymore he's losing biz yeah so Carl if you're hearing this i know

you listen to the pod stop it dude um yeah strider you know i sort of addressed this i was gonna say my beef was with people saying that i'm old but you guys really helped me turn a corner so i'm no longer beefing with that. So right now, I'm just going to be beefing with, you know, it's annoying to talk about, but still my car. It's in the shop. It's been in the shop forever, dealing with people when sending your car into the shop. It's just the worst, dude.

Having no car in LA, bro, bro, you can't do it, dude. Joe, I know, man. I don't know how you do it dude ubering dude it's easy dude are you bro i had an uber driver who gave me spoilers for every movie he like had seen the movies in theaters like oh i want to see that and he just kept talking about no way and i was just like i couldn't not i was like you know what's funny about that though you can review that ride like a movie would you give him i did give them five stars i felt bad now that's the problem honestly contemporary critics dude they'd have to like they'd like a hold into social pressure yeah it's true i have to do it like i don't know what would make me give an uber driver like a four really be tough he'd have to hit you he'd have to punch me yeah exactly he'd have to really punch me yeah he'd have to drop me off somewhere else

he'd have to make me drive him somewhere and hit me then i'd be like damn you're getting afforded but that just sucks not fun but you know it's just what and you had to go off label for the the fix on the car right like the the dealership wouldn't handle it or something no they'll do it they'll do. I had to buy this extended warranty, all this bullshit. Oh, nice. Okay. That's good, though. Yeah. It's all just bullshit, dude. You see that? You just shit, dude. I hear you.

Joe, what's your beef of the week? My beef of the week is with my brother and my sister both because- Nice. Well, I was back in Chicago, and we got some deep dish pizza from Lou Malnati, which is one of the best spots there is for that. And they both like to order extra sauce on the deep dish pizza, which, if you don't know, the sauce already comes on top. There's already the sauce on top.

It's a little chunky. There's tomatoes. And they want extra sauce which is uh completely gross uh it's unnecessary it's beyond overkill because then it's just like there's like chunks of it's just tomatoes on top yeah they're almost putting like whole tomatoes on top of the p it's just it's not even pizza anymore so it's just like i like, I don't know what we're doing. I don't know where this comes from. And it's just unacceptable, and I can't believe they're that into tomatoes.

Why don't they marry them? Dude, here's my thing, too. If you want more sauce, because you can, I guess you could wipe the sauce off, but just get a side of sauce. Exactly. It's an easy fix. It's ridiculous. You've got to kind of play to the minimum because

you can always add more it's tougher to take off i mean i didn't know it was going to look like that you know i try to trust their what they were like no we got to get it like that and then next time i know how to do it yeah fuck that getting my own shit you can't it's a shared item yeah joe i'm pissed off i bet that's how they eat pizza at a car dealership. Dude, my beef of the week is the world. Nice. Whoa. It just always feels like it could be better, you know?

There's always stuff going on that I'm like, how is this an issue? And how are we all getting so divided on it? It feels like we could just agree to disagree, and then there's things we do agree on that we could all focus that aren't fixed or better that we could all decide to focus on and make better. And then we stay stuck on the things that don't matter because it's like an easier way to distract ourselves. And we get more of our emotions out and more of like our lack of power by feeling powerful by addressing those things.

And I'm like, but we're missing the bigger picture. We're missing the world. And in the process, the world's getting worse. We're losing it. So like, come on, world. That's a good ask all, dude. I am. Chad, what's your baby of the week?

My baby of the week. Dude, I woke up snuggling my dog oh like she was laying I woke up and she's just laying against me there's petting her like this this is amazing this really Kennedy take a picture of it for you she was sleeping damn I tried to I try Kennedy take a picture of it for you? She was sleeping. Damn. I tried to take a selfie. Dude, yeah. Dude, my black-ass wife has sniped a picture of that happening with me. Because you didn't know.

You woke up. You were just doing that. Yeah. Isn't that beautiful? Sometimes she'll, so she sleeps in between the two of us at our heads. And so sometimes she'll just walk, all cute, and just walk onto the bed. And then she'll lay down and put her head right next to mine. Cute thing.

Sonny is cute all day. Damn straight. You met Sonny, dude. He loves you, dude. He kept putting his arm on you. He wanted more love from you. Yeah. So that just, yeah. It's a good moment.

Dude, Lola's cute, bro. She's cutie. She's a sweetheart, man. She's a sweet dog. Dude, she's chilling. You know what I mean? Obviously, goldens have energy. They're energy balls. But like, she's a sweetheart man she's a sweet dude she's chilling you know obviously goldens have energy they're energy balls but like yeah she's behaving nicely she's a good dog yeah she's a she's sweetheart like the sweetest dog just happy i mean she'll i'll take her to the

dog park she's just running biggest smile on her face she smiles it's biggest smile on her face it's the best thing i've ever seen when she's just running and it's just a huge smile and just having a blast. Yeah. I love it. When your dog's having a nice time, it's nice, dude. Yeah, it's nice. Strider. Do my freaking, God be my dank ass wife is my freaking dank ass babe of the week, dude.

For a multitude of reasons, but paramount among them is she sends me a little text the other day that says, Hey, I think we should go on a date. Oh, nice. And I go, let's fucking do this, dude. And then she goes, I think Shakespeare in the Park. And I was like, oh. Oh. Appropriate.

Oh. Dude, dude, I had to pack lunches, pick up wine. Then it became a couple's date. We invited another couple's friend. Those couple friends are very fun. They ripped. They also brought some wines. Bro, exactly, dude.

It was Phil. Phil rules. Phil brought some freaking dank-ass canned wine. Phil and Melissa? Yeah, I love Phil and Melissa. Yeah, they're great. They're the best, dude. They're fun.

So we go there, and she planned this dank ass day none of us understood let me tell you it was julius caesar no idea what's going on i know that a dude gets stabbed i know that he gets murdered like it's a plot to murder him no idea what they're saying they're speaking english no idea what what they're saying but uh so much fun dude so she planned a party date we like basically partied with this couple in the park we shut the place down we were the last ones to leave it was a fucking great time amazing so just being like dude just the fact that she curated this dank event and then me sort of being a little bitch boy about it but then yeah just fire called it yeah just with a text huh but that's what i loved about

it was that nice little text because it was cute does she ever text you uh did she ever say you up no but i'm gonna do that to her yeah nice when i know she when i'm gaming and then i think she's gonna be like oh and then i'm gonna go we just got a dub good night you're gonna say you up and then's going to see a shadow in the door. Then I'll go, I am, and I'll point to my wood, dude. Joe, who's your baby of the week? Are you still playing Call of Duty? Fuck yeah.

I'm addicted. Yeah, my baby of the week is my niece, Lily. She just turned four years old. I was back home. We had a birthday party for her. It was great. Great to see her. Beautiful little girl. She's great.

Got her some nice gifts as well. We went bowling, and we played outside. My sister's got a pool at her house, so we did that. Would you bowl? Huh? Would you bowl? Huh? What'd you bowl? My high game, well, because of her, we played with the bumpers, but there was another night I bowled with a friend,

and I got almost a 150. That's great bowling. That's really good. 150 is good. I think if you hit 100 and you're a casual bowler, you're feeling good. You get to the 150 mark, all of a sudden you're ultra-focused. Yeah, you're a casual bowler you're feeling good you get to the 150 mark all of a sudden you're like ultra focused yeah you're getting strikes but yeah it was really cute when we went bowling because she would she would throw the ball and then she would run back to us and she would

hug everybody every time she came back you say she used bumpers yeah it was one of those places where so you guys don't bumper up you don't want her to be elite well i mean there were a few throws that she had that didn't hit the bumper that hit pins so um my babe of the week is uh dude you know what much like phil we hung out with a couple yes on saturday and uh this dude ty Tyler, who's my girlfriend's friend's husband. Dude, we grilled. We talked. It was easy.

It was easy. You know when you're hanging with someone and you don't have that little thing in your body that's like, what are we going to talk about next? Like you're in the middle of something and you're like, what's the next thing going to be? And then you're like, all right right we're in a lull what do we do it was like he's he's a smooth smooth hang he'll get sensitive with you he'll get goofy with you you know and then he'll get uh technical with you because we were grilling and he was walking me through the tri-tip helped me a ton oh no i was gonna say where were you grilling

yeah we did you try tips the best that's that my side beef, or my side babe is a beef. Tri-Tip, great. But yeah, thanks, man, for being a guy. That's an artful thing, too, because that could go south, bro. Dude, you get locked in, and look, I can make it work. You know what I mean? I can pull a guy through a good match, but I was in there with a guy who had clearly put in the reps, knew what he was doing, and, you know, I felt in good hands.

I was like, I can pass the ball to this guy, and he can handle it. Love that. And he was – I was robbing to his Batman, and I felt good about it. I mean, yeah, the thing is you could do it with anyone, so it's nice that this guy carried his load. And in the summer, it's the toughest time to do it. You don't have sports, really. That's so true, man.

You're like, because if you do this in the fall. You get childhood about it. You go, who'd you root for? Oh, you remember that game? Exactly. And we remember that game. Because you always go to Barry Sanders highlights. If a guy's going south, you pull out the YouTube.

You go, hey, just watch this for a while, then come talk to me in 20 minutes. I called my brother the other day on the phone on speaker. I go, bro, name my three favorite football players of all time. He got two out of the YouTube. You go, hey, just watch this for a while, then come talk to me in 20 minutes. I called my brother the other day on the phone on speaker. I go, bro, name my three favorite football players of all time. He got two out of the three. He went Barry on the third one. It's actually Marshall Falk. Really? Yeah.

But he went Barry. Who's your favorite? Betis? My other two favorites? No. No, not Betis. Are they Steelers? One of them is.

It's fine, man. Troy Palomaro. Yeah. Yeah, why not the bus? I love Jerome, but I don't like watching him play as much as Barry or Marshall. And then you like Ed Reed. Yeah. Safeties.

You got it too. Let's go. Come on, man. Come on, bro. And to your thing earlier, you know who dragged you to Shakespeare before you were married? I was thinking about that. You did. You brought me to go see Coriolanus.

I made you go see Coriolanus. And I fell asleep. You didn't understand a word of that no iambic pentameter i'm out i'm out you were you were married before you were married i was like we're going to see shakespeare tonight you're like dude it's brutal dude you're like dude no it's guns and stuff i was like all right sick sick chad here's your legend elite my legend of the week is uh adventure i want to go on more adventures i've been listening i was listening to this guy i'm like streven who's in the amazon a lot dude i want to go like the amazon i'll go to the jungle go baby the nile i want to go on a boat tour through the nile dude i want to see you in linen doing that linen yeah just like uh you know murder on the nile like

miss my wife you know oh fuck i forgot what the. Like, miss my wife, you know. Oh, fuck. I forgot what the fucking, what he fucking says. But anyways, I want to scale Joe's hog. Yeah. Just repel down that thing. You need some O2 to get up there. Be on a boat.

Be like, I know I don't have much money. I don't have much smarts, but I do have your love. And do this beautiful river and this alligator here. Don't go binoculars, go the single one. The one that you pull out, dude. Swink. Swink. I think that's a cherry bird over there. It's a cherry bird. They're supposed to be extinct, but

I'm fairly certain from my studies. From the color of the feather. Babe, make sure you go to sleep early. We're hunting for anaconda tomorrow at 6 a.m. shop. Oh, an uncontacted tribe from the Amazon. Fast forward three hours later, I'm on a stick. Oh, you're going to eat my eyeballs. Babe, be sensitive. It's for their religion.

We'll sacrifice for their religion. We're a sacrifice for their gods. Hello, good folk. I come from California. They just stab me in the stomach. Or they're all like, I'm trading my dick for some food. Or you think they're still prehistoric. They're driving in cars and they're like, dude, we were just at the mall.

It's an untouched tribe. No one before has ever spoken to them oh yes this is a cell phone you can speak to other people it's a nokia flip yeah strides uh legend of the week has got to be um the word gank gang everyone knows i like saying dank great word but then i heard one of my co-workers he plays Diablo 4. This dude, Andy, rolls up to me, and he showed me, he likes to, at night when it gets quiet,

he likes to brag to me about his gamer stats. He's like a level 85. And he goes, bro, look, dude, I go around in PvP play, and I gank fools. He goes, I gank them. I go, my mind expanded. I go, what?

He goes, yeah, bro, you get ganked and it's a term where it's like a superior player just comes up and just basically merks you takes you I go what is gank he goes yeah it's when I fuck people up that's fantastic that could replace dang that might be better it's it's you gank someone it's sharp dank is a noun it's a descriptor gank is a verb I fucking ganked eyeballs are starting to come into the window we gotta cruise joe who's your legend of the week uh my legend of the week is the home run derby yes uh nice i mean we talk all-star stuff in all sports like that's i think by far the best uh all-star event that there is it was always great to watch you know years ago they would hit like 500 foot bombs just moon shots you know there's uh there's still some balls flying over the uh the causeway

and in boston you know those balls they were crushing them king griffey's it was just so fun to watch beautiful swing and uh yeah it's i I caught a little bit of it the other night. And, yeah, it's just so cool. It's fun for the fans. And, you know, they have the kids on the field catching the balls. And it's just, yeah, it's always fun to watch. It's a good one. Fuck, yeah.

You ever heard that it fucks up a guy's swing if he's in the home run derby? They always have bad second halves. Yeah, I've heard that. It's interesting. Yeah, I think it's happened to some people. You wouldn't that it fucks up a guy's swing if he's in the home run derby? They always have bad second halves. Yeah, I've heard that. It's interesting. You wouldn't think it would have that big of an impact. Dude, my legend of

the week, us. Yeah. Episode 300. We've been doing this for a while. It's crazy to think. I mean, 300 episodes, 52 a year, that's

something like six years. It's crazy. We love doing this thing and it's been a wonderful ride. We've learned so much about ourselves, about each other, and I can't wait to do more. We're constantly growing, changing, but we're always together in that.

So it's been an honor, boys, and let's keep it rolling. Thank you, man. Awesome. Honored to be a part of it. Love you guys. Yeah, love you guys. It's great to be here and doing this with you guys. Thanks a lot for having me.

Really love you guys. And love you Stokers. Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening. Yeah, thank you guys. It's great to be here and doing this with you guys. So thanks a lot for having me. Really love you guys. Same. And love you Stokers. Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening. Yeah, thank you guys. There's been people who have been with us from the beginning. Dude, that's awesome.

They've consumed 600 hours of us talking. That's crazy. That's an honor. You really are our friends. I know people like, whenever we meet you guys, it's like they know us. Oh, yeah. They really do. To a nice degree.

Let's fire through the quotes super fast okay timon creek uh timon creek uh sometimes gold's blessings are not in what he gives you but what he takes away put that in your heart he's sharper than people know he is put this in your uh oh my quote's than people know. He is. Put this in your heart. My quote's going to be from Andy, dude. I fucking ganked this guy in PvP play. Check it out. Yeah. Joe? Just, you know, keep, let's have a good second half.

That's for the Cubs to have a good second half of the baseball season. Amen. That's going to fly to everybody. That's a quote by me. I'm going with the classic T.E. Lawrence. All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds awake to find that it was vanity.

But the dreamers of day are dangerous men, that they may act out their dreams with open eyes to make it possible I love that 300 thank you thank you guys love you guys if you need advice these guys

are really nice you wanna know what to do where to go when you need someone to guard you just to have the girls beside you

go free go free let's go deep go in deep We'll see you next time.