Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 303 - Strider Wilson Joins us LIVE

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

Today we are joined by the Lord of T-Darts, Strider Wilson. ALL NEW MERCH ORDERS ARE SHIPPING WITHIN THE NEXT WEEK!THANKS FOR THE SUPPORT and WE APOLOGIZE ABOUT THE DELAY! Come see us on Tour!Tickets ...on http://www.chadandjt.com Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/  Episode Sponsored by: Helix Sleep: Visit https://www.helixsleep.com/godeep and use could helixpartner20 for 20% off all mattress orders plus 2 free pillows!  Liquid IV:  Get 20% anything you order when you use code godeep at https://www.liquidiv.com

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up dudes Welcome to the podcast We have an epic epic episode for you It's the dogs It's me it's JT it's Strider Strider and JT get a little toasty I stick with my magic minds I just crank these nootropics
Starting point is 00:00:14 So I can keep my dome fresh But they're you know sitting heavy And the friggin booze having And I'm a little jelly not gonna lie But I had to drive my Ford Ranger after And you know what they say Tequila and the Ford Ranger do not mix. But tequila and magic mind, schwing.
Starting point is 00:00:30 Okay, we're brought to you by the legends at Helix Sleep. Guys, I love Helix Sleep, the legends. You should never have to compromise on comfort. Guys, I have a Helix mattress. It's the best. If you're getting a new mattress, you got to go Helix. They ship it to you. You take the sleep quiz.
Starting point is 00:00:43 It is so good. Best mattress of my life i really mean that helix is offering 20 off all matched orders and two free pillows for our listeners go to helixsleep.com go deep and use code helixpartner20 this is their best offer yet and it will not last long with helix better sleep starts now we're also brought to you by legends at liquid iv guys i love liquid iv i drink Liquid IV literally every day, multiple times a day. If I do hot yoga, if I'm just living, I need to get my hydration in. You get those electrolytes, you get the hydration. It's the number one powered hydration brand in America. It's now available
Starting point is 00:01:18 and sugar-free. So guilt-free, grab your Liquid IV iv hydration multiplier sugar-free in bulk nationwide at costco or get 20 off when you go liquid iv.com and use code go deep at checkout that's 20 off anything you order when you use promo code go deep at liquid iv.com all right let's start the show What's your dream? Go in and eat Chad and JT Whoa Whoa To be live dude
Starting point is 00:01:54 We're live Anything could happen Dude Anything could happen What are we We're eight minutes late Oh do you hear that nice ass noise right there That's not bad
Starting point is 00:02:02 Eight minutes for us That's right on time It's on time That's right on time That's fashion on time. That's right on time. That's fashionably late. Yeah. Hey, cheers. Everyone drinking at home.
Starting point is 00:02:10 I say we do this frat style. I say we just drink the tequila straight out of the bottle and we share. We're doing pulls. I'll drink a Magic Mime. Oh, that's a good pull that you just took, bro. You just took a good pull, dude. Dude, I hate the taste of hard alcohol. I always make a face. I've been making faces for years. Chad, you might have to good poll, dude. Dude, I hate the taste of hard alcohol. I always make a face.
Starting point is 00:02:25 I've been making faces for years. Chad, you might have to take one, dude. Oh! No, dude. You might have to take one on the live, dude. For your kids? For posterity, dude. No, no, you don't have to do it.
Starting point is 00:02:36 You don't have to do it. But dude, you might have. No, dude. No, no, no. It's better this way. No pressure, no pressure, no pressure. I'm drinking Magic Mine right now. Yeah, do that.
Starting point is 00:02:43 That would be better. This is a matcha adaptogens. What if you ended up being the one who said something racist? That would be bad for Magic Mind. That would be bad for Magic Mind. That could hurt the brains. That would be very bad, dude. That would be the opposite of nootropic.
Starting point is 00:02:57 That would be racetopic. It has, yeah, neuroreceptors that turn you ugly, dude. Yeah, dude. Well, once I start drinking, i just feel the hate in my heart it grows yeah i just gotta rail against different cultures and races when did you guys discover that like racism was a thing when i met my dad whoa so a week ago i was like whoa we have a deep story to tell on this Yeah I was like whoa dude did he just say that
Starting point is 00:03:26 And he's like yeah it's called racism I was like whoa That's fucking nuts dude That's crazy What about you guys Like a week ago Dude I was chilling And then all of a sudden
Starting point is 00:03:38 I read the newspaper for the first time And I was like this is heavy dog You're just gonna hate on an entire group That's not chill You don't even this is heavy, dog. Yeah. Like, you're just going to hate on an entire group? That's not chill. Yeah. You don't even know everybody in that group. So at a certain point, you're just assuming. Right.
Starting point is 00:03:51 What about you, Stride? I've always been a history guy, but I mean, probably just back in school. Probably like, dude, honestly, when I started learning about like the Holocaust and shit. That's my phone, sorry. Yeah. Like, you know, you learn about that and then you're like, what? And then I remember something that really stuck to me was like, we went to the Holocaust Museum and bummer of a field trip.
Starting point is 00:04:15 You know, you're stoked to go on a field trip. Was that eighth grade to DC or was that sophomore year when we all went? Sophomore year when we all went. Because, dude, I had to miss my eighth grade trip because my parents were afraid of terrorists, bro bro i wasn't allowed to go up the washington monument whoa or my parents were like it's up to you but we wouldn't and then so i i dipped because for some reason people were like that's like a it's a likely target dude a big phallic symbol just cut that dick down yeah dude i remember those days america dude i remember those
Starting point is 00:04:42 days man yeah come get it osama dude my brother lived in New York so I was every day I'd like check my phone I was not an iPhone but I'd be like there was a nuclear attack wasn't there like I was so afraid of uh nuclear strike in New York it was real dude it was real palpable fear how often do you guys think about nukes lately lately more because Oppenheimer or no maybe a little oppy I talked to a nuclear fusion guy. Oh yeah, dude, your series is great. Oh, thank you. By the way, if you're listening, check it out.
Starting point is 00:05:07 It's awesome, dude. It's called, what's it called? Knowledge? It's called Deep Learning. Deep Learning, dude. It's on this YouTube. It's on this YouTube.
Starting point is 00:05:15 Yeah, I talked to a scientist. Dude, you do a great job. Yeah, you know, I'm sillier in some of the later episodes because the ones we released are from later of us interviewing people and I got more serious about trying to like
Starting point is 00:05:25 actually ask them questions at like the top of my intelligence the earlier ones are me just kind of messing with people but i didn't like it as much i was like no i'm kind of meant to be sincere and i do want to hear that it was your note actually because you watched one of my interviews learning more yeah with like uh i was talking to a neuroscientist who like specialized in consciousness and you were like i didn't learn enough about this guy's expertise and i was like oh man i gotta stop like hammering these dudes with dicks there's a line jokes this is just season one there's just there's a line yeah but there's anyone to tote it it's you yeah i like to tote but nukes nukes bro whenever i'm out of town i have a very sick deep thought yeah do you want to know what a sick sick deep thought is that i have yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:06:03 i'm like say i'm out of town like traveling somewhere out of la yeah i go this is when they're gonna get la and i think i'm special i think it's a i think it's an egotistical thing i've had that same thought really yeah like like i'll go snow like skiing i see there's a phrase for that somo really stoked on missing out yeah dude i would be so stoked to miss out on that but also everyone i love would be gone so it'd be a bummer but i'd be like start over again dude true that's the responsibility of civilization good call exactly we have to just start over keep it moving bro dude you know in like a nuclear blast like it's so bright that your shadow gets burnt into the yeah i think if i think if i were aware in that millisecond of a nuclear blast i'll go
Starting point is 00:06:44 I think if I were aware in that millisecond of a nuclear blast, I would go. Yeah. And so, you know, they'd see in the sidewalk in Culver City where I lived that just this dude was like, oh, at least that guy was stoked when he went out. Leave a good imprint, dude. Dude, yeah. That'd be great. And it would be like Pompeii, but of a stoked lord. Dude, we'll try to get to you in time so they think there was like a surfer boy band that went out together.
Starting point is 00:07:03 Yeah, exactly. Throwing the same move. Printed, printed bro can you imagine camaraderie was strong in this dusted city and sinking their prime they're all like grabbing yeah they were on stage in orlando when it happened i've been i've been watching like on the youtube a ton of like nuclear blasts and stuff you guys watch that dude bro i watched yes dude i whole, I forget what the channel's called, but a whole thing. It's an animated breakdown of, he does battles by day, battles by minute.
Starting point is 00:07:32 He did a nuclear blast where he's like, if this city got hit, or he did mutually assured destruction, like an animated thing, and I was like, this is terrifying, bro. He knew what the top cities were. LA's up there, boys. Yeah. LA, but can you get...
Starting point is 00:07:46 So the long-range nukes that people have, let's just get into it, that have the range to get here, can they take out the entire city? Can they take out the entire state? Yes. Well, the thing is... Well, then, bro, at that point, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Well, it's this. It's not like... The blast will have whatever its radius is that's like 30 miles, like vaporizing in whatever miles. It's the radiation. Exactly. Then it's like two weeks later. It's never the event.
Starting point is 00:08:13 It's the follow-up consequences. Yeah. For sure. For sure. Everyone's fucked. That's Chernobyl. Yeah. Dude, I was watching this documentary.
Starting point is 00:08:21 I think it was on Vice where these guys from Britain, they were subjects in the nuclear tests. So they'd take them down to like the Bikini Islands or whatever. Oh, the Bikini Atoll, yeah. The Bikini Atoll. What is that? Sounds hot. Dude, I know, and they ruined it.
Starting point is 00:08:35 Right. That's what you know the government's muffed up. They ruined the Bikini Islands. Yeah, what's next? Dropping bombs in Ibiza, dude? Dude, bombs in Ibiza. These are sacred, and those are tits and booty. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Just nukes in J-Lo's ass. Although, that'd be a good test. Yeah, I'm interested. Yeah, do you think it could absorb the blast radius? She's hot. Dude, she's still got it, dude. She does. Classic raw, dude.
Starting point is 00:08:58 I watch Hustler, whatever the movie is. Is it Hustle? Hustle, great movie. And you know she's wearing a thong. I know they wouldn't allow this to happen, but I look, I try to find the b-hole oh dude of course you're gonna pause it you lock in on that thing i love you it took you six hours to watch the movie how much you paused it right yeah my girlfriend is pissed that whole movie is just like homage to how hot she still is yeah like
Starting point is 00:09:19 there's shots where the camera just tracks and tracks and at the end of it it's just j-lo like looking at you and you're like fire movie dude so good narratively though dude it kind of pissed me off yeah yeah for sure yeah for sure punkin dudes like that i know these guys are buttholes but that doesn't mean it's okay to be a butthole dude enough punkin dudes all right yeah for real we're sensitive but is this a classic robin hood tale it is is it that's the question. But here's the thing. Robin Hood kept it pretty chill. Or do I only think he kept it chill because he's a dude? Exactly, bro.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Bro, let me investigate my own biases. You know what you have to do? You have to look at your wood and go look at your wood and go hey, are you sure? You know what it is though, bro? I was always pretty disappointed in Robin Hood too. I thought he was kind of being, you know, a punk He was
Starting point is 00:10:07 He did, he looked Yeah, that was his throne to be sitting on But also at the same time Why'd he have to merc, dude? He could have started a legit business And why was it all about Robin Hood? Like he comes in He throws Little John down in the creek
Starting point is 00:10:18 That was kind of Little John's squad He didn't have to disrespect him like that Totally, totally So yeah, I don't know if it's a male-female thing It's more just like a Like, you know, it's not cool to punk. Amen to that, dude. English. Dude, I don't know if you guys heard.
Starting point is 00:10:32 I watched this video. It was like a, you know, conspiracy video, but I guess Peter Pan was a pedophile. Whoa. Dude. Are you serious? Yeah. Whoa. Dude. Are you serious? Yeah. Whoa. But he was homies with those guys before he dipped.
Starting point is 00:10:51 And then when he came back, he started molesting them. Is that how Rufio got his name? He was actually like. Bro, you can't throw out a bomb like that and get gun shy, dude. All right? I was so blown away. You got to follow up. We're live, bro. Hey, dude.
Starting point is 00:11:00 You haven't. What is that magic mind doing, dude? People want answers. You've had magic mind. Well, according to this video, he's like 50. Wait, wait. What the fuck are you talking about? Wait, because you can't age in Neverland?
Starting point is 00:11:13 Wait, but I'm in. I'm in. Don't let me make it seem like I'm not in. Look, give me the facts from this fake video. He's like, hey, Lost Boys, you want to fucking, you know... I'm not saying he's not a dork. I'm not even saying he's not a dork i'm not even saying he's not a dork right but is there was he when he went back did he he didn't uh no i think he just
Starting point is 00:11:33 liked to hang out with him i don't think he actually did anything nefarious he had those thoughts that's almost weirder he had those thoughts not actually but yeah but internal dialogue right right aaron you know better right aaron aaron yeah dude i don't know what's going on you're the one who told chad that dude yeah dude you showed me the video you sent me you're like look at this truth right now aaron said look at this sick video i made look i've worked on a lot of i've worked on a lot of podcasts i've worked on a lot of podcasts i can't co-sign them all right oh is that a Tripoli thing oh you dog oh
Starting point is 00:12:05 oh you dog shit dude I got a crazy um that's a good segue because I had kids yes yeah
Starting point is 00:12:13 let's go dude this is a dad dude yeah dude one of the craziest experiences of my life um I was going to get beers with you
Starting point is 00:12:22 mm-hmm last Wednesday night yes I'm parking and then my girl just says hey last Wednesday night. I'm parking. And then my girl just says, Hey, my water broke. And I'm like,
Starting point is 00:12:29 I text Strider. I said, Hey, beers are going to have to wait, brother. It's a delivery time. So I go pick up my girl. We go to Cedars-Sinai.
Starting point is 00:12:35 I was actually pretty chill. She was pretty chill. We were just excited. We got in there. They set up the monitoring. Um, and the process was one of the most insane things i've ever seen like it's just very gnarly yeah dude i saw one picture you sent and i was like dude
Starting point is 00:12:57 it looked like you were in like maybe area 51 there was so much technology around you dude and the amount of technology I saw in that picture, I was like, whoa. Well, so she labored for a couple hours and then the kids weren't in good shape for it to come out. So then we went into a C-section and I tried to like watch everything. And I was like kind of in a calm daze.
Starting point is 00:13:16 And then they took the kids out. I might tell this story in kind of a scattered way because I'm still kind of in jacked up adrenaline mode, but they took the kids away. And when they came out, out they weren't crying which i guess is a little concerning so then they hooked them up to some oxygen and then and then they're like oh they got to go up to the nicu which i don't think is strange for twins twins yeah and then and then i was kind of in two places at once because i was worried about the kids but i was also worried about my girlfriend who had been a soldier through all of it and like pushed these beautiful babies out well and then got them taken out but that uh
Starting point is 00:13:48 so i went down to be with her and and she was going through some stuff like she had a rough delivery and her body was taking a hit and uh and then i went into the other room to catch an hour of sleep and then i get a call and they're like hey the kids aren't like responding super well to some of our neurological exams so we're're going to do some EEG testing. I'm like, yeah, go for it. I don't think it's a big deal yet. Then they call me an hour later. They're like, yeah, that's looking a little concerning.
Starting point is 00:14:13 We're thinking about doing some cooling on the boy. And I don't know if that's a big deal. And then an hour later, they're like, all right, we have like no time left. We have to do the cooling. I'm like, yeah, go for it, please. Especially if there's no time left, just go. Just trusting the doctors. Is this cooling, this cooling the body?
Starting point is 00:14:25 Cooling the body. So basically what happened is the boy had symptoms of a potential HIE, which is kind of like a brain injury. And then so they had to put him into a hypothermic state where they cool his body for like 72 hours. And then I was just Googling like crazy. Oh, dude, yeah. I kind of like was losing my mind, dude. It's the most jacked up adrenaline I've ever been. I was just Googling like crazy. Oh, dude, yeah. I kind of like was losing my mind, dude. It's the most jacked up adrenaline I've ever been.
Starting point is 00:14:47 I was so scared. I was like crying. I was getting in touch with any friend who was a doctor or who knew doctors. And I got really lucky. I got to talk to people who were like pediatric neurologists and who could give me insights on my boy's different stats. And it was a really hairy couple days and i was calling you guys and i was like you guys were so solid man oh dude you guys were whatever we could like
Starting point is 00:15:11 really i felt stronger having you guys there and knowing i could call you guys but we got the mri back yesterday and he looks all good yeah let's go dude he looks all good. Yeah, let's go, dude. He looks all good. Yeah. And I got to take him home today to be with his sister Margo. Yes. Oh, I wasn't going to say their names. Shit. No, their podcast names are Levon, because I don't want people to know their names.
Starting point is 00:15:37 Their names are Levon River Parr and Marie Marie Parr. Dude, nice. I'm glad that you said that, because I would have burnt you later. No, no. I don't want to have their names out there that weirds me out for sure i think dude well congrats brother you're the fucking man dude it was very scary and elizabeth is the shit dude she's awesome dude she's been great but dude tough man delivering kids well that that fear too and like because i remember when you called me you just like you probably
Starting point is 00:16:04 feel so helpless too you're just there and you're like what the like all the factors it's terrifying dude it was it was really because the doctors they kind of i i started worrying that they didn't do it soon enough because like just a simple google search would tell you it was like better to do it earlier and i don't even know how true that is you know i'm not a doctor i don't know how to suss through what the actual like uh medical benefits are but i started thinking because a lot of hies can happen because the the delivery people do a bad job i started being like am i going to sue the hospital right but then after i came to the end of it and i talked to more doctor people i actually think the hospital did like an amazing job like they had to pull together such a wide tree of information and like make a decision like bang bang that could you know really decide serious outcomes i'm
Starting point is 00:16:56 so grateful to them for i know their ability to make a decision like that and and to make the right one so it was yeah it was scary scary scary yeah but i would do it again because i got the two little little ones out of it yeah hell yeah dude it's so exciting it was so crazy even from my i haven't even met them yet but like even from that outsider perspective where you're like oh they're here it's like even from that distance you're like it feels different yeah you're like whoa there's two humans here there's like two little little jts dude it's crazy yeah oh my god that's adorable dude that's amazing is that tonight yeah that was them in bed before i left before i put them in their bass mat dude they're cute they're so cute they're little sweeties dude they're gonna be buddies but dude
Starting point is 00:17:43 to the pedo thing. Yeah. So my girlfriend, amazing dude, two cute little kids. I'm glad we got back on track. Let's talk. Two nights ago, my girlfriend was like, hey, do you think someone would like steal the kids from the NICU? And I was like, no, no, no. I'm like, first they have to get past the first level of security at the bottom.
Starting point is 00:18:02 Then they got to get past the second level of security, like in front of of the NICU and then there's a nurse attending to every baby in there dude yesterday we go to pick up our our girl the boy has to stay one extra day so we go to pick up the girl um my girlfriend goes into the bathroom I'm waiting a genuine sketchball like just weirdo street guy just comes moseying down the nicky like past two levels of security and just starts pulling on the bathroom door and i'm just staring at him and he wasn't like an intimidating looking guy but he was just 100 red as a sketch ball yeah i was like what is this guy doing here i'm just staring at him and he's yanking on the door and i'm like hey and dude as i'm like as i address him a nurse comes around and just
Starting point is 00:18:46 goes what are you doing here man and the guy's like oh hey hey i was just trying to use the bathroom and the nurse is like well you can't be up here and you need a mask and he's like okay oh yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure for sure and she escorts him out and then my girlfriend comes out of the bathroom she's like who was that i that? I was like, nobody, nobody. Oh my God. Yeah. That's scary. Dude, I swear to God. It was the craziest thing I've ever seen.
Starting point is 00:19:10 There was just some weirdo, almost made it. I think the nurses would have taken him down. He read Sketchball all day. But it was too close for comfort. But how did he get so close? So what I think is he was an emergency room guy. Right. And that hospital is so big.
Starting point is 00:19:24 I think you get your emergency room, like, stripped. Right, right, right. And so you're good to walk around the premises. And then you just, you know, take the wrong elevator, take a turn. And then if one person's not paying attention, you can get a little too close. Yeah. And who knows? Maybe he was medicated with something.
Starting point is 00:19:38 Dude, but also how the movie End of Days goes, you know? Remember that? Baby gets delivered. They take him down to the special little chamber. They do their magic spell. Arnold saves the day, though, so it's all good. Beast. Gabriel Byrne's sexy devil in that.
Starting point is 00:19:52 Remember when he has a mother teaches daughter sex, dude? Mother-daughter sex, and then the mother-daughter combine into the main chick. Yes. Wow. She wakes up from a nightmare. Or is it a nightmare? That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:20:04 Yeah, maybe it's real. That's awesome. Yeah, maybe it's real. That's awesome. But dude, I'm super kicked up on, like now I am worried about, like I understand why Taken was such a popular movie now. Yeah. Like just a dad being like. It's your kids, dude.
Starting point is 00:20:15 I have that with my dog. I'll be on the walk, people are like, oh, it's a cute dog. It's such a pretty dog. I'll be like, well, back the fuck up. People want to have sex with your dog. People do. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:24 Yeah. Dude, Lola's cute, dude. Or we'd yell her to other cultures where correct that's a frequent thing that happens there's a chic that wants to have sex with yeah yeah well you know how um you know how dogs will just like start humping yeah for sure yeah of course dudes have been doing that around my dog whoa you've been humping your dog yeah well, they'll approach the dog park and they'll be like, they won't even know. Is that like a TikTok movement or something? No, it's like they're so horny for my dog. They just start
Starting point is 00:20:52 thrusting. It's subconscious. Some part of their brain just tells them to do it. Yeah, and I'm like, hey man, do you have something going on there? And they're like, oh no, I'll be like, hey, stop, stop. Like zombies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they might not even know that they're possessed to hump no they don't
Starting point is 00:21:07 know whoa right so lola might have like a pheromonal thing that's just triggering once they get 20 feet away stopping yeah once i get 20 feet away it's a crazy world out there man yeah i'm stoked to be a dad yeah oh yeah you're a dad dude that's amazing bro what's your what's your day like now bro today was it's only day two having kids there and only day one of having both of them it's fun dude yeah just feeding them dude just giving them their milk you watching baseball yet now that you're a dad you watching baseball i'm trying to think what i'm definitely what am i dadding up you got jorts i'm angrier more often i I like that. I got dad.
Starting point is 00:21:45 I see like a dad. Love that. Like if things aren't clicking, I'll snap a little bit. I get angry. I like those videos of it's like dads watching them pull the cruise ship out. Have you seen those videos? No. It'll be like dads making sure that the cruise ship is pulled out of the dock correctly.
Starting point is 00:22:02 And it's like a bunch of dads on the decks just like watching. Hilarious. That is pretty cool though. Yeah. Dude, turning a boat out of the dock correctly and it's like a bunch of dads on the decks just like watching hilarious that is pretty cool though yeah dude turning a boat out of there yeah that's not easy i mean how many props does that thing have well it's just that dad instinct to make sure everything goes smoothly oh and then they get surprised and it ends up being like a norwegian woman that's the captain and they're like oh yeah i can't hit my brain she's like 35 oh dude yeah to meet your kids don't you my brain Just like 35 Oh dude Yeah to meet your kids Don't you have to have
Starting point is 00:22:27 Like a slew of shots Just a T-Dop I'm not getting it Don't get it Not putting anything In my body You told me like Three hours ago
Starting point is 00:22:35 You were gonna get it No I'm joking I'm doing a bit Oh you have to get a shot That's for real We talked on the phone I'm not getting my vax Dude fuck that shit I told you you didn't have to get it you said you would get
Starting point is 00:22:47 that's the government they're coming for me i told you not to get it you said you would get it 100 i'm getting it are you kidding me i'll get it like that it was your idea yeah no no you frame me i'm breaking your balls you are breaking them good i gotta get it good dude i had to get like a whooping cough which sounds like some ancient fucking no. No, that's it. That's the T-drop one. I have it. Oh, you're good then. How many years is it good for? I think it's like five or ten.
Starting point is 00:23:10 Let me see. You just got it? I might need it again then. Yeah, because I got it when my niece was born in 2015. I didn't know that was a thing. Yeah. I had to get a whooping cough shot. Yeah, that's it.
Starting point is 00:23:18 To see your niece, right? Oh, same deal, man. Really? Ten years, brother. I can see your niece. I can see your kids. I wonder if I have that that I have the HPV shot Oh yeah
Starting point is 00:23:27 We'll have a niece one day Yeah Let's fucking go Hell yeah man Dude that's awesome So I'm good I'm covered bro I've had it
Starting point is 00:23:33 I got Gardasil 2015 I got it You're good dude You're so healthy man You don't need anything dude Just cruise in man Bro you're so fucking healthy It's not even funny dude
Starting point is 00:23:41 Yeah bro It's gonna be crazy bro Just come Dude just cruise in If I don't have HPV, that's for sure. Dude, honestly, bro, just come straight from surfing, dude. You're fine, dude. Salt water, dude.
Starting point is 00:23:50 Dude, they shut down the beaches for a little bit. Wait, why? Why? Dookie in the water. One Duke? Oh, no, like the sewage Duke? Well, they're like the water's not clean. The California thing.
Starting point is 00:23:58 That happens. Doho, dude, you can't even sink your head under the water. You can never go to Doheny. Yeah, it's like straight sewage. It's a nice beach, too. It is. It has anti-aging qualities dookie yeah oh if you're hanging out in shit a lot you're gonna you're not gonna live as long no no yeah yeah but no this is actually true that the bacteria and water not the not the sewage stuff but the like just regular stuff that's supposed to be in there it has anti-aging qualities that's why rob machado
Starting point is 00:24:24 looks so godlike that's what dude people have been disagreeing with us on that right yeah who was that andrew lopez was like you doesn't look that young i'm like yeah yeah dude he looks fantastic bro check this out is this propaganda this didn't go over well with some people i was talking to about it some of my my LA friends. So Nat Geo puts up an article that says heart attacks are on the rise for adults under 50. Here are the risk factors. Okay, don't you think
Starting point is 00:24:50 they put this up? So it doesn't mention the vaccine. Don't you think they put this up to combat people who think that like all these, like Bronnie James and Shreve? Oh, you think it's correlated to like the mild carditis thing?
Starting point is 00:25:04 Yeah, I think they're trying to fight back against that with like a corresponding article. But they have all these reasons here, but they don't mention the vaccine as one possible one. Now, I don't think it's the vaccine, but then it makes me suspicious of these people thinking that they don't want me to think it's a vaccine because it is the vaccine.
Starting point is 00:25:18 And then it makes me more skeptical of something that I didn't actually believe, but now I think I might believe because I feel like they don't want me to think it because it would get them in trouble. Did the mind games authority play? It's frustrating, dude. I'm twisted up, bro.
Starting point is 00:25:32 My brain's a Gordian knot. Just listen to your body, man. I feel good. I feel healthy. I lifted it today, dude. You lifted? Get my hamstring back, dude. How's it feel?
Starting point is 00:25:44 Better. Much better. Still tight. You guys don't want to talk about this vaccine stuff? Oh, we can. today dude you lifted yeah get my hamstring back dude how's it feel better much better still tight you guys don't want to talk about this vaccine stuff all right dude so here's the thing yeah this fucking vaccine dude you know look dude i got two i didn't go after that you didn't get the booster i didn't get the third booster you got a ton of boosters you got two boosters? no I have two shots you never got a booster then yeah I never got a booster that's badass dude
Starting point is 00:26:11 dude in LA that's basically you didn't get the vaccine yeah I think you're right that's an LA no no that's an LA I didn't get the vaccine that's being anti-vax in LA I think you're right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:25 See, you're kind of a rebel, bro. That's awesome. You had to get boosted. Yeah, I had to get mine, yeah. Wait, maybe I did get boosted. I don't remember. I think you did, dude. I thought you did in like December.
Starting point is 00:26:39 Didn't you get it in December of 2021? I for sure got boosted. 2021. I got boosted. I got three. I remember wrecking you. I got three. What's up?
Starting point is 00:26:44 I remember wrecking Strider, yeah. Yep. Yeah, the got boosted. I got three. I got three. What's up? I remember wrecking Strider, yeah. Yep. Yeah, did the booster destroy me? I got three because I got two at Dodgers Day. Yeah, the booster hit me hard, too. It ruined my Thanksgiving. Oh, dude. Yeah. Dude, they all fucked me up so bad. Oh, yeah. Worse than COVID when I got it. Yeah, maybe because you were boosted.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Yeah, dude, worse than COVID. I PR'd my power clean when I had COVID. Dude, yeah. When you got COVID, you were fucking excelling at everything, dude. I PR'd my power clean when I had COVID. You did. When you got COVID, you were fucking excelling at everything. I worked out a ton. I'm glad I didn't get scared when COVID happened. I look back on my COVID time when I had it fondly.
Starting point is 00:27:16 Also, you know what? Here's the thing about that article. Interesting thing about that article could be this. People are blaming the vaccine say people did just get covid it's a cardiopulmonary virus if you're coughing and you get it you could rack up your lungs you could scar up your lungs and your heart gets taxed anytime you're sick like that it's a great fuck it so so even if you didn't get vaxxed and you got natural covid or
Starting point is 00:27:43 unnatural because it's probably man-made in Wuhan or whatever the fuck people want to say, you would still get fucked up. You know, it's a great point, man. I think it's either way you're fucked. But see, I would just like for the article to mention the possibility that it could be from the vaccine, and then I would be so willing to believe that. But maybe there's no scientific evidence to suggest it is from the vaccine, so they don't need to put it into the article.
Starting point is 00:28:02 But it's such a part of the national discourse that I feel like it's at least worth mentioning for sure and then but in the fact that they don't mention makes it feel like they're afraid to to me for some reason was it a national geographic article yeah yeah i like national geographic but 282 million followers on instagram it's doing well yeah i don't know who's cutting clips for them but it's crushing oh yeah yeah their clips are so good dude dude so even you yeah we've been working out at the same gym together nice i joined it's a good well i walked jt walked into it i was joining the gym where'd you join it's good what's it called lm or something it's a weird like independent gym and in a at water at water but it's like half outdoors it's kind of it's cool it's a great half outdoor dude yeah it's
Starting point is 00:28:39 funky dude today was a great day for lifting outside it's a funky gym and they got everything and it's not as crowded. Right. Like I go to the 24-hour fitness that's not far from here. Dude. Too crowded. Oh, my God. At any hour of the night.
Starting point is 00:28:53 Yeah. I go at like 11 at night. There's 6 million people in there. Yeah. And everyone's fucking huge. Yeah. Everyone's jacked as shit. There was a jacked guy today.
Starting point is 00:29:02 Let me ask you about this. A lot of mad dogs. Oh, yes. I'll meet your eyes every time, brother. People who stare? Yeah, they stare. Or maybe I'm the starer and they're just returning fire. Dude, that's a good stare.
Starting point is 00:29:13 That's my gym stare. That's the North Hollywood stare right there. Dude, there's a guy today. People in North Hollywood got that blaze, bro. Let me ask you, is this etiquette for a gym? Like you mentioned, it's not that busy. But there was a guy doing the hammer machines. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:30 The straightforward chest press, but also the incline press. I wanted to do incline. I would go free weight, but my bro wasn't there to spot me. So I was like, I'm just going to do hammer machines today. I love spotting you. It's the best. You pushed me. It was good.
Starting point is 00:29:43 And I go to the incline machine and i take one of the weights off because the guy's going heavy so i was actually gonna go a little lighter he comes up and i'm getting another weight and i come back and he sees the weights are off and starts putting him back on and i was like oh and he's like oh i'm just kind of bouncing back between both and i go to him and i go he goes you can, you can work in. And I go, nah, I'm good. Yeah. And I just did some other stuff. Dude,
Starting point is 00:30:07 what a tone. Exactly. I let him know. I go, nah, I'm good. Yeah. I think you should have worked in.
Starting point is 00:30:12 Well, he was going quite heavier than I was. Make him take his, make him take time. Make him take time. How much, what was he doing? I mean, he was doing like,
Starting point is 00:30:20 I was going to do one plate and he was doing like two plates. Damn. But you're doing a plate. You're good. Yeah. That's true. You have to, I never will do less than a plate. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Dude, they. But I'm like. And you're tall. You're long. He was, what was nice is he was actually a tall guy. So we actually probably could have like done it, but take the plates off. But I was like, I don't want to interact. But you said it with the proper sass.
Starting point is 00:30:42 Yeah. To let him know. You know, and it was midday. So like you said, it wasn't busy. So it's time to bounce back and forth between machines but also the same time bro don't be bouncing back and forth no you can't do that i don't what my pet peeve is when people dilly dally near the battle ropes on their phone sitting near the battle ropes it's like you know there's like that's space That's sacred space that you need to work on. Yeah, there's many yards, at least 10 yards of space.
Starting point is 00:31:07 And yeah, you don't take a break. This is a cardio exercise. Push yourself. They're cheating you and themselves. You know what, too? I think gyms should have multiple pull-up bars because their pull-up bars, where I go, it's connected to machines.
Starting point is 00:31:19 So I have people doing like pull-downs and like curls and shit. Don't like it. I'm like, I can't do pull-ups here. There's only one pull-ups here there's only one pull-up bar legit is it okay so are the it's like 10 feet between the pulleys right and it's just that long middle bar yeah and then you walk up and you give you look around you give everybody one of these yeah so oh that's a beautiful motion that you just did yeah so there's there's one you
Starting point is 00:31:40 could land an aircraft with something there's one JT. There's one of those. And then guys go like this. Yeah. There's one of those, right? And then there's two that are not as wide. So if people are doing exercises there, you can't go in. With that one, you can slip in. Then there's the squat racks. Those have pull-up bars. But then there's one that has the dip pull-up bar combo. That's the one you need.
Starting point is 00:32:01 Yeah, I've been doing Murphs. That's sort of my thing. Bro, you're doing Murphs? You do your dips? Not with the weight. Okay, I was like, yeah, I've been doing Murphs. That's sort of my thing. Bro, you're doing Murphs? You do your dips? Not with the weight. Okay, I was like, dude, you're just doing Murphs? Yeah, congratulations to the CrossFit champion winners this weekend, too. I think Laura Horvath and Jeffrey Adler, I think.
Starting point is 00:32:16 That's huge. You're showing your children. Some parents play classical music for their children. JT, you're playing some CrossFit. Yeah, I play CrossFit documentaries in Nickelback. Wow, dude. Imagine those are your first memories lifting in Nickelback. The boy, Levon Riverpar,
Starting point is 00:32:32 he's been through the ringer already. He's a tough kid. He's ready to just let it rip and have some fun. I'm blasting the tunes for him. Dude, we're just growing out, me and the little guy, dude. We're talking shit. I'm drinking a beer. We're just having a good time. Dude, he's just growing out, me and the little guy, dude. Dude, we're talking shit. I'm drinking a beer. We're just having a good time.
Starting point is 00:32:46 Dude, he's a no bullshit kind of kid, too. Like, he's not a big reader. And sometimes I think he lacks motivation. But all in all, he's just a fun guy. He's a good time. Can I predict his first sentence? Yeah. I'll have the quesadilla.
Starting point is 00:32:59 I'll have the quesadilla. Dude, if he says that. Well, first of all, quesadilla is a hell of a word. Oh, hell yeah, dude. I mean, that's like five syllables, right? If he can get the two L's like that. Well, first of all, quesadilla is a hell of a word. Oh, hell yeah, dude. I mean, that's like five syllables, right? If he can get the two L's like that. He's speaking Spanish. Two languages.
Starting point is 00:33:10 Beautiful. Yeah, he's my favorite of the two. Dude, I mess. I mess with my girlfriend. I'll do that. I'll just say one of them's my favorite. She'll be like, stop, stop. I'm like, she's my favorite now.
Starting point is 00:33:24 He's my favorite now. I'm playing them against each other dude that's amazing bro they're gonna grow it's gonna be incredible yeah it's a journey dude it's it's wild bro you go to the pediatrician there's gonna be developmental milestones you're gonna be like learning stuff dude you look at them right now they're just these little cuties i'm gonna have to trick them about santa dude what do you mean i'm no i'm telling them. So that's an interesting cue because I don't know how I'm going to play that. Santa? You're going to be into it, bro. You're not going to be into the Santa thing?
Starting point is 00:33:52 It's not going to be your choice, dude. I think, okay, look, I might be wrong and I might be thinking above the rigmarole of doing it the way it's supposed to be done. I think you're way out of the line. Yeah, well, get ready to get offended, motherfucker. All right. Here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:34:09 Here's the thing. Here's the thing. I think I'm going to say, okay, so check this. Dig with me here. I'm going to say it's not real, but we're still going to do it. Yeah. To your kids? Whoa.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Yeah. You're going to say Santa's not real. So they're going to be the kids at school. They're telling everyone. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:34:27 I mean, they will do that, but I won't tell the, I'll say, don't tell all the other kids. I'm going to say, feel superior in your own mind, but you know,
Starting point is 00:34:35 discretion is the better part of valor. Keep it to yourself. And we'll know. And, and look, who's to say Santa's, look, I play middle of the road.
Starting point is 00:34:42 Santa might be real. I'm not saying he's not. I'm just saying, I don't think he is. And I'll probably raise my say Santa's... Look, I play middle of the road. Santa might be real. I'm not saying he's not. I'm just saying I don't think he is, and I'll probably raise my kids to believe the same, but we'll still do all the Santa stuff. There's another way, dude. Because I believe in ritual, and I believe in tradition.
Starting point is 00:34:54 All you got to do is do this. You find a dude named Nick. Any dude named Nick that you know, you find him. I know a dude named Nick. What Nick do you know? Nick Taravella. Great guy. He goes to the same gym, actually. Saw him at the gym, yeah. Nick Taravella. His name's Nick. you know you find him i know a dude named nick what nick do you know nick terravella great god he goes the same gym actually yeah nick terravella his name's nick he was mad dogging you yeah he
Starting point is 00:35:10 mad dogs he walked in he mad dog he mad dog made the register i was like we're not even in the gym yet and you give him the gifts and you get him in a good mood that's jolly saint that's jolly nick wow and you have him put the tree gifts gifts on your tree, then you're technically not lying. Did he get his T-Dap? Nah, he didn't get it. I've got no idea. I'm down for that. I'm down for that.
Starting point is 00:35:31 No, well, here's the thing. He won't even need his T-Dap. This is going to be when your kids are like seven or eight. Right. They're not, you're not going to worry, like they're not going to know about Santa until like maybe three, four.
Starting point is 00:35:40 I don't know. My buddy. Aaron, when do kids know about Santa? Probably four or five. There you go. You got five years. You know, my buddy aaron what do kids know about santa probably four or five there you go you got five years you know my buddy rossi has a funny story i think he was driving his dirt bike too fast one time love this and then uh his his mom was trying to get him to slow down and he wouldn't he was just bombing bombing through the streets and then uh i guess his dad came home to give him a talking to and he's like his dad's scottish he's like hey rossi you know
Starting point is 00:36:02 what happens after you die fucking nothing so slow the fuck down that's hilarious that's so true dude you're gonna take less risk as a kid if like people tell you go to heaven you're innocent you're a child i'll fucking rip it as hard as i want on a dirt bike your dad comes up because when you die it's just black it's just fucking up there's no family you're ripping out your dirt bag you know sand's not real so stop ripping yeah hey ross remember when i fucking sent you to your room the other day when you didn't finish your fucking dinner that's fucking death that no dinner in your room forever you want to rip it on your dirt bike think about it nick think about it twice
Starting point is 00:36:45 motherfucker i think i think i might i'm gonna hit him with some of that and then i'm gonna laugh about him like i'm just kidding i'm just kidding but they'll know it's the real deal holy and they'll know they'll go but dad are you serious and then you go all right we're already here let's get out yeah exactly isn't that the way to destabilize someone in a healthy way for sure but you gotta give the kids santa no i gonna do Santa I'm just talking tough Tooth fairy I'm out Dude you gotta do all of it man My favorite memories When my siblings would be like
Starting point is 00:37:14 They'd look at this It'd be Christmas Eve they'd look at this guy They'd be like dude Santa right there I'd be like no fucking way And then my mom would do Easter bunny little Footprints in the house That would disappear after we found our eggs. No way. They were magic.
Starting point is 00:37:31 That's incredible. And then Tooth Fairy, sick. Tooth Fairy is actually nice. I'm just being a hater. Oh, the reindeer? My girlfriend's watching this and she got reamed out. She said regarding Santa, we're not doing that. Wait, no Santa? You're not doing Santa? No think i said it wasn't your choice i said that i said that i said that wait oh but i don't know if she means we're not doing that like we're not doing my plan or we're not
Starting point is 00:37:54 doing santa in general i think you're not going to hire a stranger named nick to deliver gifts to your home where you're sleeping we'll ask the Guys, what do you think of the Santa thing? Guys, what do you think of the Santa thing? Leave it up. And then ask him if the kids should be vaccinated too. Guys, let us know
Starting point is 00:38:12 if you think the kids should be vaccinated. Here's the thing. I feel like no adult has grown up and been like, I'm pissed off my parents tricked me about Santa. I was a little bummed, dude.
Starting point is 00:38:24 No, come on. Yeah, I was hurt. Are you okay right now? No, I'm joking. my parents tricked me about Santa. I was a little bummed, dude. No, come on. Yeah, I was hurt. Are you okay right now? No, I'm joking. I'm joking. I wasn't mad. I was sad. But yeah, was it worth it to believe in Santa for that day
Starting point is 00:38:33 when you found out it wasn't real? Yeah. I don't even remember the day I found out. It put an anger in me. Because I remember telling my brother Santa's not real and I was like glad I told him. Oh, man. I was like glad I heard him. Right. Because then then the hurt i felt i had paid it forward to him
Starting point is 00:38:49 whoa so the lie is any lie really justified no you need that wonder as a kid you you're angry but then you hold on to that wonder when you're when you're older oh yeah it's um she's saying she's saying we're letting them experience magic yes it's worth it love that it's worth it elizabeth i love that dude you need wonder name oh i'm not supposed to sorry sorry sorry sorry you need one no i'm gonna sound like macho man ready sorry sorry no man we're letting all the names brother brother brother trolls and slamming dude hey we actually babe you know i'm on your side we'll do whatever you want with sana i don't know I might sneak it into him Wait it's Levon and who?
Starting point is 00:39:28 It's Levon River Par Levon River And Marie Marie Par Dude great name Jasmine says he likes the Scottish thing Emmylou agrees with me Chris O'Dog says Cheese is real Santa fake Huge Dude hey emmy lou agrees with me chris o'dog says jesus real santa fake huge cool dude hey i when when
Starting point is 00:39:48 i was worried about when i was worried about the kiddo when he was having his little uh when he was having his treatment and and things were scary i was ready to go god i prayed i was i was ready to go god i did too i was right i prayed i was ready to go god when you're in a foxhole you when you're in there you pray 100 bro that's how it goes my dad was like you found religion i was like it's there if i need it again yeah bro pascal's wager dude that's all i'm saying yeah no it's a fair wager jg can probably articulate i think you'll say best bro it's basically saying so whether ross's dad was right and he goes blackness happens when you die and it's just an abyss and you're done great that could happen but in case there is a heaven and a god doesn't it
Starting point is 00:40:34 behoove you to believe in that and abide to it in case that is the truth and if it isn't you're fucked either way yeah and you haven't you really let's actually led a better life i mean that's yeah if you're gonna be a bummer about it all and then die yeah i think i think i totally agree with that it's like you're just basically saying it behooves you to believe because in what's the downside yeah there's no downside because the downside is blackness abyss that could happen either way what if it's the wrong god though well that's what if it's been zeus this whole time he's like bro you know what so but so zeus is like a mercurial god like zeus will punish people zeus is not more moral than we are no he's even worse than like old testament god like he's a philandering he's boning right now
Starting point is 00:41:19 narcissistic kind of immature piece of shit but he's but he's jacked and he can do all sorts of wonder. I think if I would believe in a God, it would have to be a superseding benevolent intelligence. It would have to know better than I do. And that's why sometimes when people are like, oh, you're being punished for your arrogance, you're being punished for this and that. I'm like, I wouldn't believe in a God
Starting point is 00:41:38 that would treat people that way. No, I don't, yeah. Like if there is a God, but I don't know. Well, here's... But is God our parent and sometimes you're gonna parent you're gonna have to just fucking tell your kids shut up let me yeah let me lay this down go baby what if god is the creator of the simulation whoa well that's that's so it's mark zuckerberg oh what if god is man yeah he doesn't hoverboard well though what's up he doesn't hoverboard well no dude yeah it can't be it can't be zuck dude he can't even he can't even freaking uh are zuck
Starting point is 00:42:12 and elon gonna fight i hope so that'd be pretty cool yeah i don't know dude i think uh norman had an interesting he did an interview one time and he said i think god is dying oh he said so god is real and we're living in the era of god's death right and i don't even know what that would mean like just believe faith practically but i would like i was like that's such a provocative thought so he created us to live on yeah i don't know i guess he just didn't think of god as an infinite power right or god if god believes on he maybe he's subscribing to the uh tinkerbell motif where it's like you have to believe in magic in order for the fairy not to die right so god is deity so if we lose faith in god then god dies that's brother man that's probably what he meant yeah i guess
Starting point is 00:43:06 that's a really smart interpretation on the fly peter pan being a pedophile dude yeah huge huge news broke it here also did you guys see that scientists said that the universe is actually twice as old as they originally thought whoa whoa yeah people are great i'd still hit yeah for sure dude she's in her prime universe of milk at that point here's my thing here's so you know how they Whoa. Whoa. Yeah. See, people are great. I'd still hit. Yeah, for sure, dude. She's in her prime. Universe of milk at that point. Here's my thing. So you know how they measure it?
Starting point is 00:43:33 Is they use telescopes and they're like, that's the farthest light we can see. That's the beginning of the universe. That's 13 billion light years away. And now they're saying, oh, no, we found light that's 26. Because they have the new James Webb telescope. So they're like, oh, no, we found that light. That's 26 light 26 billion light years away but i'm like i think it just goes farther you know that's just the that's all we can see that's just your instrument exactly i think it's infinite we're a dog we're just dogs
Starting point is 00:43:58 looking at a computer yeah we're trying to chill dude dude are you gonna are you are you doing santa no we're not what no we don't do santa she knows about it like she sees it in pop culture and stuff but like but you won't give her santa presents no why not we just don't right now We might Oh you will when she's Older I don't think they will Maybe I don't know He just gave her Jimmy World tickets
Starting point is 00:44:31 You guys know Aaron Keeps his kid in a drawer right? Pulls him out Or her out There's no memories right now It's all fine You can get away with it I slept in a drawer
Starting point is 00:44:43 For a little bit You slept in a drawer? I was nervous When a dresser kids being born you slept you did a great job talking about them being born i think maybe one night why it was open that was a baby oh that's normal yeah yeah you make like because your parents made you like a little crib like bassinet in there oh that's normal my mom does that too when we have babies come visit yeah moms are good there's no crib that's a very maternal instinct to be the bottom drawer dude a mom could look at like this tripod and like turn it into a crib oh yeah like moms just they take like those six bottles of booze and they'd be like oh you turn them sideways and then like
Starting point is 00:45:17 you know strap some tape in between them and then put the amp behind it for some white noise and the baby will sleep on that for 12 hours they They just get it. They just get it. My mom's the best, dude. Often we'll be late because she's coming from one appointment to another, but when it comes to, like, kid stuff, dude, I've never seen someone more competent. She was an OBGYN for years, too, nurse. And just fucking, dude, like, her handling a kid,
Starting point is 00:45:42 you'll be so, like, you were saying today, like, you pulled over driving... Three times. Driving fucking LaVon River home from the hospital. Pulled over. Dude, my mom would pick up... I remember when my niece was born, pick up my niece. Fucking literally do a trick with it, spin it like a basketball.
Starting point is 00:45:58 And we're all flipping out. Like she's making a pizza. Yeah, and she's like, no, this is how kids go. And also, she raised five fucking kids yeah i mean like we're like all right dude like yeah and you guys are all cool dude yeah that's pretty wicked very charismatic sick dude yeah yeah exactly especially my youngest brother dude these men dude matt dude he's an operator he's the mayor dude my dad says he has the gift of gab yeah that's a great dude my buddy jeff's dad calls him an operator that's the mayor dude my dad says he has the gift of gab yeah that's a great dude my
Starting point is 00:46:25 buddy jeff's dad calls him an operator that's where i get that from he goes yeah he's an operator i think they mean the same thing no my dad calls people operators too where's jeff's dad from jersey jersey my dad calls him yeah i think operator might be a it's an east coast it might be a you know a hope and he's got the gab because he's a lawyer and he litigates dude my other siblings have been lawyers for like twice as long yeah he's done way more litigating really yeah so take that siblings bitches yeah dude oh dude kidding kidding kidding kidding so aaron you really hurt chad when you said you weren't gonna bring santa into the house what's up dog dude i'll play come on dude let's hear it bro i'll be sad would you ever go rogue and would you bust bust into Aaron's house as Santa Claus?
Starting point is 00:47:05 Dude, absolutely. I'm already planning it right now. Come in, I'll be like, here's an Xbox. Dude, dude, dude, dude, guys, here's the take. Here's the hot take. That's pretty sick, dude. That's pretty sick. Dude, I identify as Santa now.
Starting point is 00:47:19 I'm one of these guys. I mean, if I identify as Santa for real, it's the worst. I know. It might have been cool for like half a beat and a commentary on something identify as Santa for real, it's the worst. I know. It might have been cool for half a beat and a commentary on something, but at this point, it's so lazy. Those guys are just the worst. The dudes who are upset about pronoun momentum, so they're like,
Starting point is 00:47:36 oh, well, it's okay because I identify as an ATC sign or I identify as a tripod. And I'm not even saying whatever about anything else. I'm just saying it's such a lazy jump to hit. I identify as a tripod. And I'm not even saying like whatever about anything else. I'm just saying like it's such a lazy. It's so lazy. I identify as the CEO. Pay me more.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Yeah. It's terrible. I'm like just work. It's the same thing as like no home. All those things that just like every time I heard someone say it, I just be like, I can't be friends with you, dude. Yeah. I was like, that sucks, dude.
Starting point is 00:48:00 You know what's funny? As annoyed as they are at people who use their pronouns i'm as annoyed with them for that joke yeah yeah yeah like they'll they'll see someone's pronouns in their instagram be like oh that person's lame when i see someone make that joke i make the same designation lame lame dog it's lame you lame i don't care about it if you care about it that much that's lame well it's the same it's the same gripe they have that that people are being programmed to be a certain way and i go well you're being programmed by someone else's joke to say certain things true true that's the same thing when like uh and i'm not even trying to get political here because everything's just sorry i did this no it's okay but i but i believe this i
Starting point is 00:48:36 believe this though like when uh once in a while when i would be like oh i'm voting for joe biden people would call me a cuck and then i'm like iuck. And then I'm like, but you're a cuck too for a different guy. And you got the phrase cuck from those guys. And now you're saying it, which is the most cuck thing you could do. Good call, exactly. So you're being a cuck. Yeah. And I'm not saying I'm not.
Starting point is 00:48:58 I've masturbated to cuck porn. So I'm real deal. I'm it. Same. I don't cum. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I haven't cum this decade. We're three years in. I'm it. Same. I don't cum. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I haven't cum this decade.
Starting point is 00:49:07 We're three years in. That's awesome, dude. Yeah. I'm done jizzing, dude. Just in terms of originality and talking shit. No, for sure. That's what I'm saying. They're having zero independent thought.
Starting point is 00:49:18 And it's lazy. Make it creative. And it's annoying. Make it creative. Correct. Because you can bury me, but make it creative. Correct. And make it your own.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Because we're two dudes talking. Because as far as- In front of a Starbucks, and everyone's, the, but make it creative. Correct. And make it your own because we're two dudes talking. In front of a Starbucks and everyone's, the line's getting held up. Yeah. Because I'm not talking like Biden, but you're talking like the other guy. Exactly. Who would you want if any politician was going to bone your ciggo? Who? Dude.
Starting point is 00:49:39 AOC. From any era. AOC. Whoa. I was not expecting that. She's pretty. She's pretty. That's cool. She's powerful expecting that. She's pretty.
Starting point is 00:49:45 She's powerful. Yeah. That's cool. Like Scissor? No, no, no. I mean, yeah. That'd be awesome. I mean, come on, man.
Starting point is 00:49:53 I'm more in trouble. I'm more in trouble, bro. We're doing it live. I don't know, man. We're doing it live. You know what? It's up to them. Dead serious. Dead serious.
Starting point is 00:50:01 I pick, but I stop directing at that point. It's up to them, dude. It's up to them. Have your fun. Dude. And maybe this will make some of those people who i offended earlier happier i would not want it to be joe biden i can tell you that i would not want joe biden anywhere here's the thing about him he probably couldn't get it up yeah and if he did it'd be some i want my lady i want my wife to have a nice time i want to have a nice time you know what i go with i think i have'd go with?
Starting point is 00:50:26 I think I'd have to go with RFK. Oh, yeah. Dude, he's hunky. He's a stallion. Yeah, he's got a chest on him. You get some candy in there? Who's the guy that was caught smoking weed? We always forget about this. Michael Phelps? No, no, no. The president. He's the president. Oh, Bill Clinton. Not Clinton. Before Clinton. Before Clinton. There's another guy smoking weed. Clinton was a... I did not exhale.
Starting point is 00:50:47 But there's another guy in the 70s Jimmy Carter? Carter! Did Carter get caught smoking weed? I don't know I thought I saw something on SNL Didn't Dan Aykroyd used to do it? Maybe Gerald Ford Nah, never Ford
Starting point is 00:51:00 Guy wasn't even elected Dude, Nixon? Yeah, Nixon, dude Imagine Nixon boning Guy wasn't even elected Dude Dude Nixon Imagine Yeah Nixon dude Keep you tight Imagine Nixon boning Water Gatewoods bullshit Yeah that'd be crazy
Starting point is 00:51:14 If I take a leak right now Is that nuts? I think we could We could all do something Dude oh if you go take a leak Will you grab more brews? Duh Bringing them in
Starting point is 00:51:22 Hell yeah dude Hell Cena did man it's good seeing you bro did you do this the only difference between live pods i just take leaks i do i think there's been one of my most wild pods ever and it's live so i hope this gives us content yeah content i mean we've hit everything yeah we've hit it all dude that was fun the other dude i did my for the what's up are you hamtron are you hamtron i'm i'm not drunk i'm just dude i've just been on fight or flight for like four days yeah you gotta relax so my adrenaline system is just jacked you should do a yin yoga class and i got nervous before i came in today i was like so hyped to
Starting point is 00:51:59 do the pod and then what's a yin yoga class it's just total relaxation does it work yeah i can hit up tiffany k she can sort you out all right i'm a pilates guy class it's just total relaxation does it work yeah i can hit up tiffany k she can sort you out all right i'm a pilates guy yeah this is just literally just you put your head on a block and it'll be like now twist to the side and then you just wait you just you just lay oh so it's more meditation it's meditation yeah are you doing that i've only done it once that sounds good but do you leave sometimes and you're like man i wish i would have burned some more calories or do you feel like it was worth it for the settling of the dome you know that's the reason i don't go usually but the one time i went i was like i'm really was it an accident yeah that's
Starting point is 00:52:32 fine because i was trying to figure out i don't know what this is yeah you're just like it's meditation and i was like in there but it was like i should do more you know absolutely there's so much time in a day and you're just trying to make the most out of it i know dude and well how's the bulk going it's going pretty good i uh you know i think i'm getting some yeah flex dude please i think it's been enough come on flex people need it it's inspiring oh dude it looks good man i uh you know you got a pretty wide frame too like your shoulders are pretty wide i think you could carry an extra 15 to 20 and it'd still look elegant. Yeah. I think I'm just not, I'm not done with the, with the bulking diet, I guess.
Starting point is 00:53:11 I don't really want to do the bulking. I know when you hear that Chris Hemsworth, every meal is like a thousand calories. Yeah. It's like, I would do that if I had like a trainer and a nutritionist who were like, helping me. Boys on the journey with you. That's what trainers are. It's just boys on the journey.
Starting point is 00:53:24 Yeah. And doing it myself. I just like i i see the value in lifting now i'd say that's where i'm at with it i see the value in lifting because i used to just do cardio and it just tore my legs up you're taking an uber dude yeah let's go i'll do it i'm gonna go work out after this you're what i'm gonna hit back after this i'm gonna go drunk. I think backs a good something is it good? You can work out drunk and hit back. Yeah, you can you can You know, it's 15 sets basic bullshit. What moves you're gonna do but care for your lower back though I'm gonna start off with some bent over barbell rows cuz I'm trying to put on mass then some pull-ups then some Then I'm gonna hit some cable rows
Starting point is 00:54:02 Some lat pull downs and then the fifth one's always a mystery. I don't know until I'm there. That's fine. You're not doing too much free weight stuff. You're not going to really get hurt if you're not doing too much free weight stuff. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Just not doing too much free weight stuff. That's all I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:54:16 I don't mean anything by it. I'm just not doing too much free weight stuff. Son of a gun. I'm like you had a beer. I'm not doing that much free weight. This guy's just a kid, man. You just had two kids. You don't need that many free weights right now.
Starting point is 00:54:24 It's fine. Just do some some cables you get the hammer machine dude how is that jersey mic bro that was a dude we were talking earlier and he goes dude you're just a sandwich guy dude and we were talking on you are doing yeah and i am i def i identify as a sandwich guy you're like epicurean Yeah Thank you dude And I go What sandwich are you talking about On the FaceTime And I had a fucking Jersey Mike's
Starting point is 00:54:49 He had a Jersey Mike's in the car That's awesome And JT called it And he's right I always have a Jersey Mike's in my car Dude It's an emergency Sando Wow
Starting point is 00:54:57 That's sort of like your Shit goes sideways That's sort of like your spare tire Exactly That's crazy I put it where the spare tire goes You get to call Hey the world's
Starting point is 00:55:04 That nuke went off yeah and you were in town he goes i'm okay yeah i got the number 17 and right beside me doesn't matter that's like like you and joe are able to really appreciate those pleasures like a good sandwich i think it's one of my favorite things now look it might come back to bite my worry is when i'm older it might come get me, but. Like the deli meats? Yeah. Because they're not good for you.
Starting point is 00:55:27 Salt. But here's the thing, brother. Your stomach can only eat like five things. Correct. And deli meats have never turned on you. Never. What is that? You're wired for it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:41 I do think there's something to where people are like, this is bad for you. This is good for you. I'm like, everyone's a little different correct and however you came out you were meant cured meats i was meant for cured meats cured yes i was yes i was and you are cured meat i am yeah thank you is poland's close to czech republic right yeah it's close as fuck so czech republic they eat pickled foods. Yeah, they fucking love pickled foods. Do you guys eat pickled foods in Poland?
Starting point is 00:56:09 Oh, yeah. Are you Polish? Yeah, Polish. So that's not too far from cured meat. They eat a lot of kielbasa sausage. That's not too far from cured meats, right? No. So it might be genetically inherited.
Starting point is 00:56:17 I think you're right. Wow. And it's like the lesser of the meat. Like a sausage, a sausage developed out of necessity. A sausage was packed in there. It was the organs and everything ground in that you didn't really want but then spices mixed in there if you whatever spices or herbs you had access to to make it taste good and then it started tasting dank and people were like dude let's make these really good bro that's how the hot dog developed yeah so i'm basically built to eat hot dogs do you know how
Starting point is 00:56:46 many minutes they say you lose off your life every hot dog you eat five seven dude who does the math on that this guy frank what a tank he's busy as shit man on fourth of july dude that guy's crunching numbers non-stop he's just like hebrew national oscar myles i dude i've been i've been i've been big on hot dogs lately my girlfriend's like what do you want i'm like i want hot dogs oh you know what she posted the other night hot dog you guys cooking up a nice spread for dindin he had some barbecue chicken yeah he had some veggies in the middle and then i saw the hot dogs yeah and i i swear to god out loud i went oh chad's being bad yeah oh yeah dude he was funny i knew that was
Starting point is 00:57:25 her influence i was like oh she's got him on the dog train huh all right my dog my dog stole my chicken breast whoa like i was eating and she was just like oh they'll counter surf dude yeah she cashed it so she she grabbed it and we're like no not the chicken breast. And so she sees us coming for us, just swallows it. The whole thing. She knew. Oh, she knows. So one time I accidentally left a burrito bowl out, and she got into the sauce or something.
Starting point is 00:57:57 So I was like, why did you get in the sauce? So I'm going to throw it away. And I'm like, oh, fuck, I left the burrito bowl out. So I see her. She's kind of scavenging a little bit. And then she sees me. She's kind of scavenging a little bit. And then she sees me. And then she starts wolfing it down because she knows. She does the cost-benefit analysis.
Starting point is 00:58:11 She's like, dude, it's worth it. It's worth it for the bowl. Dude, she swallowed a whole chicken breast. And then she was choking and stuff. And then she's, oh, and it finally went down. Like an addict when they get their chance at a hit oh yeah oh my goodness but then you love them it's endearing yeah i mean oh my gosh it's the cutest thing yeah and then they fucking shit the bed dude yeah my dog this morning
Starting point is 00:58:38 woke up dog throwing up yeah woke up i'm getting good at it now. I know his noises. Yeah. I know if he's like sitting, he wakes up and sits and then licks his lips. Makes a weird noise. I know he's going to throw up. I put him on the ground, throws up on the ground. Much easier cleanup.
Starting point is 00:58:55 Yeah. Okay. When you guys first got your dogs and you brought them home, the moment you came through the door, were you a little tripped out? Like what now? I was freaked out picking up the dog. I was like what now i was freaked out dude picking
Starting point is 00:59:05 up the dog i was like yeah and then uh the idea of it spending the night feeding it taking a dump what's it up to when you're not watching it in that moment yeah well i put i put her in the crate and i was like are you you know well you did crate from the beginning yeah does lola like the crate yeah sonny likes his Crate. It's so nice. It's so nice. He likes it. We just keep it open.
Starting point is 00:59:28 We don't lock him in. Have the doggies met? No. Sonny's kind of an asshole, so... She's probably got to grow a little bit. Does he have a problem with puppies? Dude, honestly, bro, he's got a problem with, like, blonde dogs. No.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Really? Which is so funny because, dude, here's the thing. He does... Racist dog, dude. He does racist dog or prejudice no he is yeah exactly prejudice you're right he will or his dog hair is their race i think that's right that's like their equivalent of skin gotta be right i mean they have breeds i don't know but i'm going dog hair over breed you know what it's it's preg yeah it's prej. Because also it's religion. You know, what's Lola into? Dude, also it's socioeconomic.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Because I've seen Sonny scoff at some portals. Oh, he'll lift his nose. He'll look down his nose at a lot of portals. Yeah, bourgeois to the end. Major beef with the pro. Yeah, I think proletaire. It's oatmeal bowl. The proletariat.
Starting point is 01:00:22 I think they'll get along. Lola's a yacht club dog. Oh, then you're fine. Yeah, she's high. She has boat shoes. She's Lambo speed boats. Yeah. She wears vineyard vines.
Starting point is 01:00:31 We'll pour him some Aperol Spritz. Watch out for the STDs. And let him hang out. Yeah, dude. That lifestyle. Yeah, dude. Sonny doesn't really like to fuck. He doesn't love that much.
Starting point is 01:00:39 Lola, I mean, there's a... He doesn't fuck. She's in heat right now. There's a line of dogs at her door right now. Really? Just ready to bone. She's texting. I mean, you know, golden retrievers.
Starting point is 01:00:46 She's texting them nonstop. Guys, I'm interrupting this podcast so that you know once again that we are kind of on a break from touring, but we're going to be at the Irvine Improv in September, September 28th, I believe. And we have a bunch of dates coming up, Minneapolis, Denver, Detroit, Montana, Chico, San Jose. Get your tickets at chatandjt.com.
Starting point is 01:01:11 We're also brought to you by the legends at Liquid IV. It's the number one powered hydration drink in America. Guys, I drink Liquid IV multiple times a day. It's the best for hydration. Whenever you drink it, you're like, oh, my God, I can feel it in my body. I'm getting fully. You might be too hydrated. Yeah, I'm getting too hydrated.
Starting point is 01:01:27 And I love it because they're freaking the dogs. And it's sugar-free now. It's sugar-free. No, it's not. Yeah, it is, dude. That's crazy. It's sugar-free, bro. Electrolytes, eight vitamins and nutrients for everyday wellness.
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Starting point is 01:02:20 dude our last sponsor helix sleep best mattress in the game you genuinely sleep on the helix sleep i genuinely sleep on it i love it i love firm mattresses but this has a softness to it that when i got into it i was like this is angelic it's awesome i mean that's huge to be feeling like you're floating with the celestial but you don't sleep that long i don't sleep that long but when i do i sleep hard and everybody's unique everyone sleeps differently that's why helix has several different mattress models to choose from they got memory film layers optimal pressure enhanced cooling features um optimal pressure relief all you gotta do is take that helix sleep quiz if someone had guest rooms and they had people coming to visit would you recommend a helix
Starting point is 01:03:05 mattress for people to sleep on yeah like if it's in-laws if it's aunts if it's uncles if it's cousins if it's old work friends if it's someone who banged her old lady years ago but now they're coming to visit everything's chill yeah i would have them take the helix sleep quiz and i'd ship it to the door because it's super easy and it's an affordable price it's fantastic and you know what I'd also say I'd tell them hey guess what Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners go to helixsleep.com slash go deep and use code helixpartner20 this is their best offer yet and it won't last long with Helix Better Sleep starts now boom let's get back to the show but dude when you showed up with your
Starting point is 01:03:48 kid today did you just walk in the house and you were like whoa but you had everything i was i was scared last night with margo i was like i was like oh my god dude fuck and i just keep messing up with her where's the thing going? Going forward, going forward. It's not a huge deal. Look, it's going to be on the live one. I'll have Jake cut it out. Jake, just bleep this so people can see I messed up. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:17 So Marie, when I brought Marie home, I was a little scared. But dude, when I brought Levon Riverpar home today, I came through the door and I went, the boy is home. Yeah. And I was psyched. I was just so pumped. It did take, look, I'm there's gonna be harsh days but right now i feel good i feel good are you excited are you excited are you like antsy to go back to them and just look at them no do you know what it is it's the thing i said last week's episode like it's made me i love when i'm with
Starting point is 01:04:40 them but it's also made me appreciate all this stuff more right i think that's the i and i kind of i've look it's very early so i'm being like i'm being like oh i knew it when like i don't know shit but like i i i kind of was like i don't think i'm like appreciating things enough and now that i'm like i got them and i'm worried about them and i'm like trying to do good for them i'm like oh now this stuff is like all more fun yeah because it's like this this is my party i haven't drank in like a month. I'm partying with you guys. We're celebrating. This is our beer dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:07 This is like it. Yeah. Like we're celebrating then. And then I go back and I'll switch, my brain will switch. But, but for now I'm just like, no,
Starting point is 01:05:15 I'm with the boys. Yeah. And I know, you know, my girlfriend's super responsible. She'll do a great job. And like, I,
Starting point is 01:05:20 you know, I feel more for her cause she's been through so much and I want to be there to support her. Yeah. And it's, it's just so much and I want to be there to support her. It's just so much easier for us in this whole reproductive shakeout. I think guys have gotten a lot better.
Starting point is 01:05:32 I think we're all more sensitive than preceding generations. We're all more invested in the day-to-day grind of it, but we still don't have to do the hardest work. It all falls to the lady. I'm not pandering because i will still argue dude i don't know if i was gonna tell the story but i will on the heels of that very
Starting point is 01:05:51 nice message dude me and the lady we got into it at the hospital we got into a little spout i don't think i was wrong but i wasn't backing down on something when i should have just backed down and we got into a little bit of an argument at the hospital nothing horrible we were arguing about like the formula I bought or something it's never about the laundry and we were both in fight or flight mode and there was no choice for flight
Starting point is 01:06:14 and then at a certain point it's just us two in this hospital room that we've been in for four straight nights and we're both in fight mode and I should have probably relented but it's just not really in me and then we got into it a little bit and I ended have probably relented, but it's just not really in me. And then we got into it a little bit and I ended up raising my voice and she's like,
Starting point is 01:06:30 if you talk like that, I'll call the nurses and I'll get you booted from here. And I said, call them. I'll stay like, I'll be who I am in front of everyone. I'll risk embarrassment. I'll talk about it live on the pod.
Starting point is 01:06:42 And then she did. She called the nurses and they booted me from the hospital did you see them like the next day i see him the next day hey guys yeah they were looking at me like i was the worst guy alive yeah i was being so nice too but they were like they were just looking at me with those eyes like yeah they were like and i was like i'm not a bad guy i'm sorry when they came into the into the room to give me the boot my girlfriend was like, I'm not a bad guy. I'm sorry. When they came into the room to give me the boot, my girlfriend was like, I'm just not dealing with you.
Starting point is 01:07:08 She's like, you're gone. She called the nurse. She's like, get my boyfriend out of here. They came in. I had my hands up. Like the cops came in and went. Amazing. I was like, look, I'm not dangerous.
Starting point is 01:07:15 I'm not being my best self, but I think I'm getting unfairly picked on. And they were like, you got to go. And I was like, all right, all right, all right. And then I turned to the nurse before I left. And I was like, yo, can I? I'm like, am I good to come back in the morning? Because I did feel really bad leaving my girlfriend. Even if we're beefing a little bit, I didn't want her to be alone in that.
Starting point is 01:07:35 And we called and talked on the phone for a long time afterwards. I didn't do the full apology. But I definitely wanted to be there fully. And they were like, it's up to her. And then she let me come back in the morning. We're all good. I think we were just both in the... Every time we've had a big thing, we've gotten into a little bit of a thing.
Starting point is 01:07:54 Did you see that weirdo guy? When he got booted, it was like an area. They let the weirdo guy spend the night. He came in to kick you out. Yeah, the weirdo guy was like, well, he's in here. I'm going to stay. It sounds like you're a problem. Dude, I got a bathroom on the fifth floor if you want to kick you out. Yeah, the weirdo. The weirdo goes like, well, he's in here. I'm gonna stay. It sounds like you're a problem. Hey, dude, I got a bathroom
Starting point is 01:08:07 on the fifth floor if you wanna... It sounds like you're a problem. He's like, hey, brother, you gotta get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard there's a free bed nearby. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:08:16 He's like, I'm taking your couch chair, brother. What do you guys think? Should we get into queues? Yeah, let's do it. Let's party. Let's check in with the chat. Love that. Oh, smart. should we get in a queues? yeah let's do it let's check in with the chat love that
Starting point is 01:08:25 eating a banana adds 11 minutes of life from Nick J balance it out bros what about a banana dog? kid Kevin says strivers should go carnivore but only deli meats? only deli meats yeah good question
Starting point is 01:08:42 just bologna every day? is that healthy just bologna every day good kevin what do you mean healthy just bologna every day um what does my chest day look like oh dude i'm gonna go to the expert you know what dude i've been kind of doing like every muscle group during the work i haven't been doing like single days you'll get there yeah that's all i do you're early in your body i mean i've been i've been i've been doing yoga sculpt i don't even i'm just add with it yeah but i'm doing murphs i like yours i i am confident with your level of focus yeah if you do get concentrated on building size you will get into like strictly hypertrophy training yeah and pretty soon you'll be doing like 20 sets of chest and you'll be targeting each part of the muscle here's Here's the thing, though. I know I was amped on bulking up, but I don't know if I'm fully committed to that.
Starting point is 01:09:30 Well, brother, you can't get halfway pregnant, dude. You got to be all the way in or all the way out. I know. You actually don't, but it's fun to say. Yeah, I know. It's tough. It's tough, you know? Because you don't like, that's the thing, is you might want to bulk, but you don't like
Starting point is 01:09:43 the training modality that would build bulk. Yeah, I like exertion. Yeah, you like sprints. I like sweat. Which is actually a lot harder to do, I think. It's a little more stimulating, but it's much more taxing, for me at least. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:09:59 Well, if you're doing CrossFit style stuff, you don't necessarily – the Murph is more of like an endurance-based one. Yeah. But if you do like One of the CrossFit workouts Where you're doing like Yeah Kind of heavy thrusters Yeah
Starting point is 01:10:07 Bro have you done an Omar You'll put on muscle You need to do an Omar Dude I'll do an Omar You know what we should do We should do We're doing an Omar For JT's kids
Starting point is 01:10:14 We should do What are their names Marie Marie And LeVon River You're better at it than I am Let's go It took me a second It took me a second bro
Starting point is 01:10:22 It took me a second We should do a barbarian You guys know what a barbarian is No It's where you walk like a mile. It took me a second, bro. It took me a second. We should do a barbarian. You guys know what a barbarian is? No. It's where you walk like a mile, but you have like a backpack and a sled behind you and ankle weights and you weigh, it's like 100 pounds or something. Oh, I like that. I like that slow moving kind of workout. I do like that stuff.
Starting point is 01:10:38 I love that. I love that stuff. I could do that together. Like if we all three did that, I would need another bro there because I couldn't do it alone i couldn't do it alone yeah do i'm gonna drink magic mind in that people are saying i left you hanging oh for a pound earlier i did it's okay it's okay it's okay no you were in the middle of the story let's try i can't tell you something i already drank your magic mind good thank you and guess what i drank your beer and i took your shot i took your shot and drank your beer thanks bro I took your shot. I took your shot and drank your beer.
Starting point is 01:11:06 Thanks. Bro, we're helping each other out here. Thanks. Danky, danky, dank. Dank, dank, dank. Danky, danky, dank, dank. Aaron, flip it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:17 That almost made me choke. I didn't expect that. Woo! We're live, baby. Dude, do you want to be Jags fans? Yeah, dude. I want, yeah. Do you want to be Jags fans? Yeah, dude. I want, yeah. Do you want to be Jags fans?
Starting point is 01:11:25 Let's follow the team. I'll get you gear. Yeah. I'll get you gear. I have your address. I'm going to get you gear. They're going to be, but bros.
Starting point is 01:11:32 They're going to be good. Trev Long. Just because I'm not in on it. Just because I'm already a Steelers fan and Mike Tomlin, I love you. The greatest man alive. We're AFC fans, bro.
Starting point is 01:11:39 But here's the thing, dude. Are you guys bandwagon fans because they're about to rip shit this year? They haven't ripped yet, so we're in. We're in early. So you got to get in now because they're about to rip shit this year? They haven't ripped yet, so we're in. So you've got to get in now because if you get in next year... This is it. This is a commitment right now. You're calling it ground floor.
Starting point is 01:11:51 This is it. I'm in on it. I think Jags made the playoffs last year. I think they win a playoff game this year. Trevor Lawrence is a weirdo. What up, Eric Filkins? Sorry. Are you typing in there? Is it bandwagon to join the Jags? Eric Filkins. I'm sorry. Are you typing in there? I'm typing.
Starting point is 01:12:10 Is it bandwagon to join the Jags fans? Dude, you know, so my girlfriend's team is the Raiders. Yeah, yeah. I heard that we got Garoppolo. Garoppolominos? He is, but he's hurt right now. All right. He's always hurt, this fucking guy. He's hurting.
Starting point is 01:12:22 I don't know if he's going to come back in time for the first game, but I like Jimmy G. He's always hurt, this fucking guy. I don't know if he's going to come back in time for the first game, but I like Jimmy G. He's efficient. He's efficient when he plays, but the guy's made of glass. Damn. Yeah, he was hurt last year a bunch of that, right? That's got to be the worst, dude. If you have an injury as an athlete and you're in your prime.
Starting point is 01:12:38 Dude, they get sad. The frustration, dude. They don't talk about it during it, but then when you watch documentaries about them, they're like, I was sad that whole year. All i thought about was how he won the championship and that was my championship yeah people started calling me a loser no one wanted to answer my phone calls i went into the gym every day mad yeah i came back a year later and i beat his ass yeah dude that's a fucking story man did you think the jets are gonna do the jets will do it with rogers i don't know.
Starting point is 01:13:05 I just watched Hardcocks, a.k.a. Hard Knocks. Oh, it's out? Bro, it aired last night. I'm only halfway through, so I know spoilers. Is it the Jets this season? The Jets. Wow. Bro, you got Rodgers.
Starting point is 01:13:15 And you got Sauce. Sauce is pretty. Is Sauce cool? He's not cool. Here's the thing. No, tell it straight. Tell it straight. This is hot.
Starting point is 01:13:22 Hot guys. Sauce is sweet. He's not cool. He's sweet. He's a good guy. Is he playing sweet? He's a good guy. Yeah, he does. He's a beast. No, but is straight. Tell it straight. This is hot. Hot goss. Sauce is sweet. He's not cool. He's sweet. He's a good guy. Is he playing sweet? He's a good guy. Yeah, he does.
Starting point is 01:13:27 He's a beast. No, but is he playing sweet or is he actually sweet? I'm skeptical. Oh, wait. No, no. Sorry. Sauce Gardner, they haven't gotten into him. I was thinking of Garrett Wilson.
Starting point is 01:13:35 Garrett Wilson is very sweet. Garrett Wilson is sweet. Sauce Gardner, they haven't dived into yet. So it's going to be interesting to see his personality more. But Garrett Wilson is like a very nice young oh that's great he's a very nice young man that's very like very nice cutting against the stereotype of wide receivers oh dude the sweetest guy in the world dude have you seen aaron rogers and sauce gardener's handshake the best and then they ash it out watch this
Starting point is 01:13:57 and then we both ash it and then we ash it on you and then the other guy goes oh i love the handshakes dude it's cool handshakes are cool but dude rogers is cool he's a great guy and dude he talks a little bit he talks a lot so then you think he talks too much but actually if you listen he's just trying to be himself yes and dude he's always on he's under the spotlight dude i think he's gonna be good this year bro you think so what makes you think that he's talented he, he's under the spotlight. Dude, I think he's going to be good this year, bro. You think so? What makes you think that? He's talented. He's unbelievably talented.
Starting point is 01:14:29 Look, he's old. He played fucking horrendous last year. I should know. He's on my fantasy team. But he has a fire under his ass this year. He's got a chip on his shoulder. And, bro, I think he can be a beast. God bless you, brother.
Starting point is 01:14:44 Bless you, dude. bless you brother and but hard knocks watch they're very talented so i like breeze hall at running back i think he's solid he's coming off the acl i think he'll be fine man these guys can come back from acl in under like a year um i know i know like adrian did it and he's an anomaly but i would bet earlier weeks i would say week three he's at 90 and playing at a good level garrett wilson obviously very talented aaron rogers throwing to them that's incredible and then the d is stacked as well so it's a good team i don't know and so who else division but that division's time you have the page there's not a bad team in that division
Starting point is 01:15:19 the patriots are gonna be good dolphins are Dolphins are loaded. But, bro, if Tua dies, Tua should retire, bro. Dude, it's so interesting. Dude, they should literally make Tua. It's not funny, but it does make me laugh that, like, everyone will be like, yeah, the Dolphins will be good, but what if Tua dies? Like, I've never heard a scouting report before where they're like, yeah, but he might die.
Starting point is 01:15:42 Dude, did you see what his hands did? No, it was very scary, and that's why it's hard to laugh about i'm just saying it's like it speaks to how extreme football is yes that that is like the one caveat when people are being like oh it's going to be the the fins is that people are like yeah but tua could die yes when does uh when does the season start officially like a labor day september fucking a month from now probably a month from now straight i'm excited for the fall bro it's gonna be a good fall
Starting point is 01:16:07 I love the dude don't you just love the autumn it's gonna be about 2000 degrees it's gonna be nice dude is boning better in the autumn when you bone oh yeah I haven't boned in a second dude
Starting point is 01:16:14 really this is probably the longest I've gone without boning wow since I waited like 30 years to do it wow 24
Starting point is 01:16:22 but I waited a long time oh wow yeah yeah you know what i don't miss it as much as i thought i would yeah i'm a pretty horny guy yeah you're right up there with the best of them i was one of the horniest guys right up there do you remember when i was being horny no no i wasn't this is a great story no no he wasn't hitting on her no no this was the odd part it was just ethereal uh what do they say this
Starting point is 01:16:47 um like what do they call like uh when it's around the atmosphere ambient like yeah like an ambient horniness that you had and like we're ordering steaks at this restaurant like dudes do and jj just goes hey is going to slow me down for later? And the waitress is like, what? For later? Like, what? Yeah, you're ordering like 32 ounces of steak. And he's like, you know, for later, just in case.
Starting point is 01:17:17 And literally she had no idea what he was talking about. Dude, I didn't know what I was talking about, but I meant, am I not going to be able to bone later? It's going to be too weighed down by all the meat. Her answer was just go, he just just goes i'll ask the chef she had no idea and she came back and she's like well it is a porterhouse it weighs this much so then you can do the math for whatever going on in your head and dick oh so she she picked up that was boning no no she didn't even say head and dick but she came back and she's like these are the numbers here's this i literally have no idea what is this is this is this the yeah i was i was horned up dude i was horny but our bro bailed on us that night for a lady yeah and he's
Starting point is 01:17:52 not normally ordered him his steak well you know what's that's what's crazy about him and i won't i won't say his name but he he was a he's a very handsome guy he's a very bright guy successful successful he's got all the markers of someone that would get laid constantly. And he didn't really bone forever. I think he went like a decade without boning. But I think he's boning now, is he? Well, now he's very into boning. Really?
Starting point is 01:18:19 And he's kind of having his rum springer at like 35. And he's getting in there. And it's all above you bored and he's he's you know he's an honest good dude thoughtful guy he's a thoughtful guy i i trust him completely like in his etiquette but he is boning now and it's like uh but i i kind of respect it because it was almost like delayed gratification he's like no i want to have my whole life in order before i do all that biz and now he's experiencing it and it's he's he has all that excitement that someone has when they're like in their 20s doing that stuff kind of a nice way to be is this who i think you're talking yeah
Starting point is 01:18:54 yeah that's awesome dude he's boning a lot yeah he's boning a lot he's getting out dude he deserves it man he really does and it was it was kind of boggling the mind dude i think even at one point like i think his parents were like why isn't he boning more? And I was like, I think he's just a deep dude. He's thinking about stuff. And they were like, that's wild. For sure.
Starting point is 01:19:10 I was like, I know. It doesn't make sense to a ton of us. I feel like he busts Norse mythological loads. Yes, dude. You know what I mean? Good call. It's like a scroll with text on it. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:19:20 It's like a Beowulf type of epic poem. Yeah. And he's busting that out. Yeah. It like rolls out of his dong. Dude, I was at a mic with Kevin last night. His whole set was about busting. Amazing.
Starting point is 01:19:32 He's another one who like, when I met Kev, he would like talk about like Iran. Oh, really? And now he's just loads. And now he's loads. He's gone a totally different- I never saw Kevin's early stuff, which was more provocative i guess yeah dude when he when we were in san francisco his set cried killed me so hard dude yeah i don't think he did material he just went out there and just talked about jizzing and nutting talked about the audience who likes jizzing and asking who's gonna blow my dad
Starting point is 01:19:59 yeah what did he say he's like who's gonna blow chad's dad tonight jimmy can i ask you something personal? Yeah. Actually, you might not know this answer. Who's going to blow Chad's dad tonight? Thanks for asking. I'm just sitting there. My dad's like, hey, we're going to come see your show.
Starting point is 01:20:16 Well, it's funny, too, because you were nervous that your dad was there, too. Oh, dude, yeah. I mean, it's great, though. You said blow Chad's dad? He's like, who's going to blow Chad's dad? And then my uncle was there. My aunt was there. Right.
Starting point is 01:20:27 My cousin was there. You had about 30 family and friends there. Yeah, my old babysitter. It was your hometown. My old principal was there. That's hilarious. My old history teacher was there. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:20:37 And they're all just sitting there just, all right, who's going to blow Chad's dad? Who's going to do it? He's a genius. He ran the light by 10 minutes. He ran through that like like i remember i was like is everything okay we're like dude you've been up there 25 minutes it's longer than any of our i don't walk up to this stage and be like dude he's like do i have any time i'm like no it's over yeah you gotta go dude you went 15 minutes when his edible hit
Starting point is 01:21:02 with the q&A portion. Oh, he was funny. He was really cool. He called it out good. Yes, he did. That was funny. He's so funny. He is the funniest dude.
Starting point is 01:21:13 Wait, what was the personal thing? Oh, my personal thing was regarding Schmoll. You know, some guys in the league who say bad bit, they say, hey, super unfunny, cross some lines. What? Which one? Back in the days of the controversy of the starting no defense years ago oh you're bit my bit when I when I I got really we can get when we can roll the lawyer here yeah this was a joke oh when he brought him on yeah cause but in my opinion I got really mad I do probably overreacted.
Starting point is 01:21:45 Dude, bro, we were twitching. Yeah, I snapped. You drove off into Verdansk. That was a pretty funny way to snap. No, it was amazing to you. Like, I'm going for a drive. Wait, how did this go again? When did you bring him on?
Starting point is 01:21:58 So the whole thing was, in Art of League, we have a fake rule, in my opinion. Sorry, I shouldn't say that. All right, I'm not going to say that. The debate was this. The debate was this. Dude, here we go. The debate was this. I told the guys, and like, dude, I had no chance of winning,
Starting point is 01:22:14 but this is a last-ditch effort. I was like, I think my defense is going to get negative points because I suck so bad and my team's so bad. And I text this red. I'm not going to start a defense. Just heads up. It's not negligence don't don't find me we have fines in our league we're all maniacs guys don't respond other guys
Starting point is 01:22:32 you know no no you have to start a defense yeah i have to start a defense this is during the pandemic i got nothing going on i'm unemployed i go you were also were you defending champ i also was defending champ and you've won three times yes so you had a lot of like at a target and you had a lot of swagger too yeah you were the bane of everyone's existence and you knew it
Starting point is 01:22:50 and reveled in it too a little bit just give him context that doesn't make any of the right or wrong of it different well yeah it doesn't change
Starting point is 01:22:56 any of the facts or anything but yeah here's the thing does daddy think he's a little special sure well dude
Starting point is 01:23:02 there's also someone made a highlight tape of him after a season or like of our whole fantasy year dude there's also someone made a highlight tape of him after a season or like of our whole fantasy year and there's a clip from our podcast like 200 episodes ago where he talks about being champ and he zoomed in on my face i look so mad really like upset and like vitriolic i look at him it's just like a one of those micro moments you know but i like look at stride i'm like and i'm like se moments, you know? But I look at Strider and I'm like... And I'm like seething.
Starting point is 01:23:26 It's so funny. But I'm sorry. No, we all take it serious, which is good. So for context... Yeah, when did you bring Kevin in again? So it's this whole thing about the debate was, is choosing and electing to not start a defense illegal if I say... I'm like giving myself the best
Starting point is 01:23:47 chance to win and look i i think in the league if you're giving yourself and what you think as a manager giving yourself the best chance to win you should be able to do it other guys at the time go yeah but at that time that wasn't the thing there's a rule against it which the rule was to negate and they'll debate what that was to negate i won't get into that but that was the beef then i go to schmoll like this was like two weeks in so it wasn't before it got super serious but it was still pretty serious and uh like guys were like mad at each other and like i like i lost sleep over this and i was like this is fucking messed up like i'd eat dinner quiet and my wife would be like, what's going on?
Starting point is 01:24:25 And I'd be like, it's fine. And fucking, I go to small, I go, dude, draft up a legal letter and I'm going to send it to the whole league and be like, what you're doing is like not legally right as a joke. Yeah. And then no one, like everyone was like, this is ridiculous. This is outrageous. Really? Oh yeah. People. Yeah. I guess, you know what it it was too is that you're so good at talking about things and explaining things
Starting point is 01:24:50 and you're so persuasive that appreciate that you would you would come on the pod and you would talk about it and everyone was on your side and thought everyone else in the league was being a huge piece of shit and i didn't do a good job of articulating our side my brother did a better job i still don't understand it i still can't articulate no so here was the thing here was the thing no one was saying that no one was saying you were wrong for thinking you should be able to do that people were saying we voted on it and you have to abide by the outcome of a vote and the vote said that you were not allowed to do that and that you still did that and then but you were so good at talking about it that people who listened were just like,
Starting point is 01:25:26 Oh, but his, his strategy and his intent was sound. So we side with Strider. And then, um, I think we were all feeling the weight of everyone saying Strider was right. And then it started to bother us on like a deep level.
Starting point is 01:25:38 And then, and it started to bother me because I felt like out maneuvered and out persuade. Like it was, it got into like some insecurity stuff maybe. And then it into all levels yeah and then and then i was and i felt right too so i was i was extra mad and then kevin pisses me off like no other yeah yeah and so i'm already mad and then strider gets kevin involved yeah yeah and like in some weird like pride territorial thing i'm like strider you're my boy yeah you know this
Starting point is 01:26:06 guy makes me mad and now you put this guy on me yeah and he's coming out and then we did this twitch and kevin starts talking shit to me about it yeah and i'm like and i was i was feeling like i was being a baby i forgot he was on that look this is all about being huge huge huge fucking babies oh yeah but this is what happened and then and then kevin gets on the twitch stream and starts calling me a bitch and an idiot right when i sign on yeah and i just didn't want to hear from him and and then i got mad at instead of getting mad at kevin because i knew kevin is impossible to get mad at because he'll just argue with you for the rest of eternity he loves arguing yeah he won't really it won't register with him the way i intended to so instead of getting mad at kevin i just got mad at strider for for bringing kevin
Starting point is 01:26:52 for bringing kevin into it and that's we were all playing call of duty and do you remember that and yeah now i do so we're supposed to be doing battle royale or whatever it's like the four of us on a team yeah instead of helping the team i got into humvee or whatever and i just drove it up and down the coast yeah like i used to in high school when i was feeling moody i just drove back and forth but i was i was i was genuinely like it was funny we're all adult men and like it should never get this goofy but like me and strider had to like text afterwards and be like hey man like that got too heated i'm sorry it's all good i love you dude but it's a lot it was like our work it's a lot. It was like our work. It was like our fantasy. It was like our comedy.
Starting point is 01:27:26 It was like everything came together and wounds got... Look, we're still here. We're stronger because of it. Exactly. And we're sensitive guys. We're sensitive guys. Yeah. But is the bit...
Starting point is 01:27:38 This is me being sensitive. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny. Like, look, look. The execution, and sorry, Shmuel, if you're listening, wasn't great. It wasn't that funny. No, it's not like like look look the execution and sorry schmoll if you're listening wasn't great wasn't that no it's not funny but isn't it funny to draft a legal letter to send to your boys yeah i think so come on it's funny it's funny are guys saying now that it's not funny brooks's favorite bit right now is that he goes it's bad bit okay but brooks is doing a bit yeah
Starting point is 01:28:00 he's doing a bit but then the bit of that brooks is doing is now affecting you big time so here's the thing so it's a good bit by brooks none of us can handle the bits yeah we all can dish it but can't take it that's the problem when when me and we we were because of the demar hamlin thing where he almost died oh yeah me and my brother are one fantasy team and trevor is the other fantasy team that was vying for the championship and his injury screwed all that up the fights that like me and Trevor got into in the aftermath of that were very oh yeah like mean-spirited personal uh uh deep and uh I don't know what it is about fantasy but that's why I try to stay away from it sometimes because it I'm like man I've known this guy for 20 years and I'm i'm really talking shit
Starting point is 01:28:45 yeah and and he's really going after me and my brother's a better he's like hey bro we just got we all got a chill dog and i'm like yeah yeah yeah well and i'm like but first trevor needs to know that he's my bitch and then trevor's like no you're my bitch i'm like no you're my bitch and then we just go at it but that's like he's a fiery guy he's a primal and also he's one like back to back like or like he has a lot of championships he's a fiery guy he's a primal and also he's won like back to back like or like he has a lot of championships he's fucking good at fantasy and i respect the hell out of him i really do the fucking guy wins dude when's guy when's uh two weeks when's the draft two weeks are you doing the draft it's up in the air i don't think so no i don't think so probably not
Starting point is 01:29:20 my plan was to go out so we do our fantasy is chris gonna draft in your stead i think we'll do airpods and i'll be i'll be in there and that might be good because i'm kind of readable and people know the people i'm going after so i can read jt better than chris dude i was telling you that like every time a guy comes up strider's like jt wants him i'm like how do you know but he knows i want him so we have similar tastes though i feel like we have similar yeah we both went after jk last year how'd that work out for you? Dead last. Are you mad now that I said that? Yes. Should we just move on to the next bit? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:48 Dude, I'm going to a Raiders game in December. Whoa, who are they playing? Right after Comedy Works. We should just do this forever. We should just talk to them. Oh, in Denver. No, no, no. I'm going to Vegas.
Starting point is 01:29:59 Oh, nice. But who are they playing? Fuck. Well, we can look it up right now. Yeah. I thought Comedy Works was only in... Oh, they're playing Vikings. They're playing Vikings. Oh, that'll be a good game. Yeah. Yeah. What's playing? Fuck. We can look it up right now. Yeah. I thought Comedy Works was only in. Oh, they're playing Vikings. They're playing Vikings.
Starting point is 01:30:05 Oh, that'll be a good game. Yeah. Yeah. What's up? Nice. Comedy Works is in Denver, but I'm flying to Vegas after. Fuck, yeah. Wait, so who's Vegas' quarterback next year?
Starting point is 01:30:16 Jimmy G's hurt, so I don't know who the backup is. Oh, so they had Jimmy G coming in. Yeah. Is it Stidham? I don't know. That's a great question. I just know the Jags, baby. I don't know who's going to start the season.
Starting point is 01:30:24 If it's the Jags, I know exactly. T. Lawrence, baby. T. Lawrence. Yeah. It's T. Lawrence, but I don't know any other teams. I'm going to get you gear, bro. Dude, can we bring up the chat, too? I want to see what everyone's saying.
Starting point is 01:30:36 Oh, yeah. I'm going to send you gear, bro. Dude, we should rock jerseys. Oh, they know they don't have Stidham anymore. Bro, there might be some kid named Aiden O'Connell. Oh, God. Well, look at this kid. They're fucked. kid named Aiden O'Connell. Oh, God. Well, look at this kid. They're fucked.
Starting point is 01:30:46 Dude, Aiden O'Connell does not look like... Aiden O'Connell? Whoa, dude. That guy looks... Wait, that's the quarterback? Yeah. Jake, will you throw this up on the thing? Dude, that guy's got a KD ratio.
Starting point is 01:31:04 That's what I was thinking. He looks like a Call of Duty guy. Yeah, this guy's Call of Duty through and through. He looks like he's good at Call of Duty. He looks pissed off about it. He looks like he rips. Yeah, Aiden O'Connell. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:31:15 Raiders are fucked. He's got all the... Raiders are fucked. Who's going to take Devante Adams, dude, with that guy? I don't know. Devante's obsolete. Bro, I think this guy... take Devante Adams, dude, with that guy? I don't know. Devante's obsolete. Bro, I think this guy... Trade Devante.
Starting point is 01:31:28 Isn't this guy a bartender at Public House? Exactly. Isn't that guy a bartender at Public House? Oh, my God. This guy? Hey, prove us wrong, bro. Prove us wrong. I think this guy taught me how to smoke weed out of an apple.
Starting point is 01:31:50 My guy. Is that the guy? Yeah, he went to Mesa College for nine years. Mesa, really? Exactly, dude. Dude, he's the Raiders guy? I think so, because Jimmy G's hurt. Or it's going to be Brian Hoyer, who's always in the rotation.
Starting point is 01:32:01 I got a question. Yeah, go, baby. So who are the Mannings? So Archie Manning, is he all hype? The kid? I think he might be a little hypey. I like the other guy who's there too at Texas, that Quinn Edwards. The starter?
Starting point is 01:32:13 The Quinn Edwards kid. Yeah, I'm saying his name wrong. But he can sling it. He's got a good haircut too. Do you feel for Archie being in that position? Yeah, I do a little bit. You know who reminds me of is Chris Sims, who came into Texas and his dad was Phil Sims, and I think he'd won a championship with the Giants.
Starting point is 01:32:29 And he was going up against like a plucky underdog guy at Texas, this kid, Major Applewhite. And you were just, you always wanted Chris Sims to lose it because it felt like it had been gifted to him. Yeah. And I feel like Archie came in with so much hype and he's got his uncles who are such studs that a lot of expectations. Well, so who's his dad?
Starting point is 01:32:50 His dad is the oldest man. And he's like a banker, right? Yeah, but I think he was a good player. I think he got hurt. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't know if he was as good as Peyton and Eli, but I think he was real good, and then he had a career-ending injury.
Starting point is 01:33:03 Do Peyton and eli have kids i bet they have a bunch i don't know for sure but they seem like the kind of guys who want appropriate it's interesting that they never you'd feel like a manning bros would have like wives and stuff going on yeah but they don't have that it's interesting don't have like what like wives and like uh like a show yeah like they're like the real housewives of the manning family or something like be married and like have a whole like right vehicle right payton payton kind of nah i don't want to get into it is he sling dong no it wasn't that it was it was something not bad so i should say it so it doesn't sound like i'm saying something real bad when he when people thought he was on uh like human growth
Starting point is 01:33:37 hormone to recover from his neck injury which isn't allowed it was all in his wife's name oh so he does have a wife that's the only time i've ever heard of her that's why i mentioned her is because that's the one time i heard of her is that the human growth hormone was in her name but then people didn't believe that and we're like oh no it's for payton but he's getting it sent to her so that he seems you know uh plausible deniability or something it's probably smarter than just keep people out of the there are significant others out of the limelight and all that type of stuff dude i think you do it i do it yeah yeah have to yeah you never know well they didn't agree it's also more freeing too they exactly they didn't agree to it it's more freeing anybody listening i've had significant others who who were more into it and i was like yeah let's go let's go but some people private some people
Starting point is 01:34:19 you know yeah exactly it's a different yeah different you showed some photos yeah that was crazy yeah with the wedding yeah yeah with the wedding i know did people question you still no it was kind of nice it was like it was funny something all people the only people that really reached out a lot of people were like oh beautiful like amazing which is more friends on stuff yeah super a lot of friends and there was a few bros that were like I doubted you I'm sorry dude for years which was amazing for years people didn't think it was real
Starting point is 01:34:48 I know but in their defense that's kind of what we were going for and all that so it was great that would always trip me up people would be like
Starting point is 01:34:54 we'll do a live show and people would be like is Stratus GF real yeah I was like yeah and they'd be like no dude no because the name thing
Starting point is 01:35:01 I was going to say that about the kids names I was going to be like fake names are nothing new but it's fine too I mean dude look bro they don't have social media right now like no one's gonna look them up yeah i think their faces are more something you probably want to keep private yeah and you know it wasn't even a big deal to keep their names private i was just trying to do it and then i it's insane that i messed it up within 30 minutes uh like literally talked to my girlfriend about it i'm not gonna say their names i have fake names yeah and then within 30 minutes i'm like wow it's tough but also you're coming off this
Starting point is 01:35:29 emotionally dude so one guy said he grew up with aiden o'connell's cousin been to his house a few times he was massive they had like eight kids three out of eight were drug addicts yeah you kind of see it in his eyes i don't think it's anyone's fault dude that was the thing about having when when when the the kids were going through their struggles after delivery i started looking into like what the outcomes are for kids who go through this stuff and it was like oh well if your kid has this then their iq might be lower they might have behavioral issues or like less than them and then and then i was like oh that's really scary and it really freaked me out yeah and then i started looking up just other basic things like
Starting point is 01:36:04 oh well what if you don't breastfeed the kid? Same thing. They're like, oh, the IQ is lower. They don't go to college as much. They might go to jail. They're going to end up in a... And it really made me... I was like, oh, they just...
Starting point is 01:36:15 It's about everything. You can't do everything right. The kid's going to have some things that you didn't do right that might make for something going worse. But then also made me be like, dude, it's no one's fault how they turn out they turn out yeah like they might just be how they got treated as a baby you had the funniest line what i said you were like you were like yeah some kid buys a chain wallet he just wasn't swallowed swaddled yeah amazing it's like uh it's like yeah like you might have just all of our personalities might just be the result of how we were treated as babies but you know true
Starting point is 01:36:45 but now we're like putting stats on this stuff and it's like did you know what bro Genghis Khan was fine they probably pulled him out of the fucking Eurasian steppe and slapped him on the ass and then there you go Alexander the Great like and then also some kid who was probably swaddled to the T's
Starting point is 01:37:02 ended up being not a ruler or weird I don't think it's a I don't think it's a fait accompli I'm not being like kid who was probably swaddled to the t's ended up being not a ruler weird i'm with you but i know i don't think it's thousands of years i don't think it's a fait accompli i'm not being like oh they're they got a ceiling on who they are i'm also it kicked me up where i'm like well i can't change the nature part now no because that that is what it is but whatever the nurture side of it is we're gonna max it out to the best of my abilities and we'll see what it is. For sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's like Freakonomics.
Starting point is 01:37:27 That's like where they say, oh, parents who play classical music for their kids, they become geniuses. It's like, no. Those are smart, affluent parents. Those are parents who have an infrastructure around their child. That gives the kid the benefit,
Starting point is 01:37:39 not the classical music. Dude, it's crazy. That's even materializing in athletics now. Athletics, they're actually seeing, it used to be like like oh if you come from like a it's it's really kind of a bummer but they were like oh if you come from an underprivileged background you'll do better at sports because you'll be like tougher and stuff and now i think the stats are actually not supporting that and it's like especially because so many athletes kids are crushing it now they're like no actually it's good because you have the better coaching you have the better
Starting point is 01:38:03 medical care you have the better like infrastructure i mean it speaks to just how unfair shit is in general but it is insane like how many outcomes can kind of be i don't know no dude i fucked up dude i shouldn't talk about any of this no dude well it makes you because nowadays i feel like you know you look at like parents in the 80s where they kind of just let you go off yeah they're like for me you know it's like they let you go off like they're like yeah you just go out and have fun do whatever my parents let me drive cars when i was 13 i used to drive my brother to school when i was 14 yeah yeah and it's like uh and then now people i think i think parents like micromanage a lot they're like i gotta do this so that my kid becomes
Starting point is 01:38:39 this way blah blah blah and it's like i feel like a lot of that shit's just out of your control yeah you know well you can go too far that way you can helicopter him too much yeah totally i think that the biggest thing is like birth order like if i was born before my brothers i'd be a completely different person i think you were kind of meant to be a big brother big brother yeah i think i think i think your internal conflict right is that you're a big brother who was born a little brother. And that's always in... I don't know. I feel like the biggest little brother ever.
Starting point is 01:39:11 What do you mean? I've always just felt like a little brother. Oh, well, because you are the little brother. Yeah, but I think... Yeah, but you're wise. And you got stuff together. And you're kind of a... Thank you, dude.
Starting point is 01:39:20 You're dialed in. And you're kind of like a... You know how sometimes you'll be like... You have a nice like oh i gotta be like nice but you're hard driving like you're ambitious like you want to get it right right i think that's the big and little and you bumping domes interesting like two fucking bucks in the wild hitting their fucking heads dude yeah very interesting very interesting it's true it's true i don't. I think I was probably meant to be a little brother. Yeah? Because my little brother was always kind of my big brother.
Starting point is 01:39:49 Right. He was always more mature and sensible than me. Yeah. But is that a good sign of a good big brother? I did have a lot of faith in him. I never treated him like a little bro. I would always be like, hey, you're one of the guys. We're in it together.
Starting point is 01:40:01 That is true. He'd be like, you can come hang out. Yeah, he'd hang out with us always. Yeah, a lot of big bros were like, these are my friends. Get out. No, I was always like, it's true you'd be like you can come hang out yeah he'd hang out with us always yeah a lot of a lot of big roads were like these are my friends get out no it's always like it's all of us bro also we were like can we hang in your room dude my brother and also my little brother was sick so it's also like all the all the older dudes were like he's sick we can yeah yeah he doesn't the fucking g yeah he was a dude i mean now now you mentioned i did always try to hang out with my brother's friends. Of course. It's the best. You're always aiming up.
Starting point is 01:40:25 Well, and they're cooler. They know more. It's just by nature. They saw things before you do. I mean, they were getting hand jobs. They were getting hand jobs. That's crazy. No one I knew was getting hand jobs.
Starting point is 01:40:32 I would try to be so funny in front of them. I remember one of my bros, my big brother's friends was like, dude, don't try so hard. That really sticks to me. I remember that moment. Dude, yeah. I would try really hard. Yeah. Dude, there was one time I was talking to two seniors when I was a sophomore and we're talking about ncaa football the video game which just
Starting point is 01:40:49 came back actually it was gone for a while and uh and i was trying so hard to sound cool to them and i was like yeah it's really cool it's dank yeah and i i forced the word dank in there right and then uh and then they just both took a pause and i knew it was over and they both took a pause, and I knew it was over. And they both took a long beat, and they kind of leaned back away from me. Oh, dude. And then I went, and they went, did you say dank? And I went, yeah, because you can run with it. And I tried to brush past it. I was like, because you can run with a mobile quarterback,
Starting point is 01:41:15 and it's good to run the option. They went, no, hold on, hold on, hold on. Did you say dank? Yeah. And I went, yeah. And they went, okay. Yeah. Brutal, dude. and I went yeah and they went okay yeah brutal dude
Starting point is 01:41:25 bro that reminded me of a story where one time after like the cool varsity guys we were sophomores again I think this guy Josh
Starting point is 01:41:33 cool guy Josh Sanderson dude cool guy on the basketball team he hit some big free throws right some fucking throws
Starting point is 01:41:39 yeah and I like was would play you know I played basketball and sometimes we practiced together. So we were all at the A&W.
Starting point is 01:41:47 It's a good spot, dude. The quickie, whatever it was, after the game and stuff like that. Yeah, for sure, dude. And I think I'm in, and I get my food order, and I have a whole tray of food, and Josh is up there, and I go, hey, Josh, sick throws, dude. Yeah. And he doesn't even hear me say it, and then I sit down.
Starting point is 01:42:04 I sit down with my buddies it's like ferraro maybe jt was there too no i wasn't there you might not have been but ferraro's there one of our boys and he goes dude josh just fucking ignored you i didn't even hear and i was like just had to fucking just deal with i was like i'm pretty sure you heard but you might have been busy dude yeah i think it was getting sauce. Dude. Those were huge free throws, though, right? Yeah, bro. Wasn't that against Modern Day or something like that? Yeah, it was the Meerkat Moiso, dude.
Starting point is 01:42:30 Huge game, bro. You know, he was getting a lot of praise that night. No room. He might have tuned it out at that point. That's like after you have a killer set. The fifth person who says good set. You go like this, you go. It's a drop in the bucket.
Starting point is 01:42:42 Yeah, it's just a head nod. I mean, he thought you were a total bitch too. Totally, yeah. When I saw him at practice the other day, he pantsed me. He pantsed you, dude? No, no, no, no, no, no. He pantsed me, dude. Dude, all right, all right.
Starting point is 01:42:55 Here's a question. Yeah. Who's the best comic right now? Oh, dude, this is fun. In the game. Right now, today. Dude, I'll say this. Who would you buy a ticket to? I don't know if he's the best right now today dude i'll say this who would you buy a ticket to
Starting point is 01:43:05 i don't know if he's the best style i'll say this the guy who i've seen lately who's murdering and he's like i can tell he's in the pocket of who he is and what he's delivered as a mere k really yeah really yeah yeah and like i've seen him a couple times because our show at the improv was after his show and i came in and he i didn't see his set before like i walked in he was in the middle of a joke he had the whole room in the palm of his hand and it wasn't even like i didn't know what the punchline was in relation to but i knew it was perfect from just the energy that was there yeah and then uh we did a show at the comedy Store on Monday and I walked in, same thing. I walk in,
Starting point is 01:43:45 he's in the middle of his set. Yeah. And he's just, you can hear it in his voice while he's talking. You know, he has that command. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:43:53 Where he's, it might be a new bit, it might be an old bit. He's in such command of what he's saying. The whole room is listening. Yeah. And it's really cool to see
Starting point is 01:44:02 because he's a great guy. Yeah. And he's been, he's always been really good and I feel like he's like peaking right now i felt that too i uh even from his clips and stuff it's like well he's he's always been a guy who has so much fun up there he's a good time he's having a blast and yeah i it's so cool to see him like really kind of pop off because he's he's always been there he's always been in the pot he's he's been a grinder and he's been like yeah he's had stuff
Starting point is 01:44:30 he's mad tv he's been in shows like he's definitely a like a good solid successful comedian but i think he's ready to be like up there yeah stratosphere like household name kind of like you know he's one of the guys is he doing a special? I think he will soon it feels like it's gotta happen he's great I look up to him I'm saying all this from a place like man get it it's pretty awesome
Starting point is 01:44:56 who else is Lisa Trager she's fucking hilarious she's crushing I've never seen shane live but i you hear shane gillis that name thrown around a ton oh yeah he just did a special too yeah he's gonna be i i i think he's the funniest i just haven't seen him live i saw him live seven years ago before he like popped yeah and he was fucking amazing he was in the main room and he
Starting point is 01:45:21 on a luis gomez's show yeah and I was like this guy is fucking hilarious and then his sketches are so good and he's good on podcasts he's the one who like my buddies who aren't in comedy that I like grew up with
Starting point is 01:45:33 mention him the most right he's the go-to guy yeah trying to think who else that's a fucking beast right there who else are like
Starting point is 01:45:40 dude Robbie Hoffman I think is I was gonna say Robbie Hoffman that was mine that's who I had that's yours that's who I had in my pocket yeah Robbie Hoffman she's great, is up there. I was going to say Robbie Hoffman. That was mine. That's yours? That's what I had in my pocket, yeah. Robbie Hoffman.
Starting point is 01:45:46 She's great. She's something special. So fucking funny, dude. And so unique. Dude, sorry to cut you off. No, go, baby, go. What I love about her is that her material is so funny, and so her and her point of view is so dialed in,
Starting point is 01:46:01 but then her delivery is so just like appealing to everyone where it's like it feels like a very like uh classic like i don't i don't want to say seinfeld to put her in like a box or anything but like like if if your parents went to go see her like you know when your parents like oh you do the comedy thing it would make sense to them yeah they'd go see her and they go yeah that that's that's, that's good. That's comedy. I like that. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:46:26 It's like old school kind of chops, but with like a modern sensibility. Yeah. She's going to laugh when I say that. She's going to take that. She'll go, she'll go. That's why I said that.
Starting point is 01:46:36 I'm scared of her. That's why I said, I don't put her in a box because do your thing. No, she's such a good shit talker. Yeah. Oh, bro.
Starting point is 01:46:43 She's like an alpha shit talker. Yeah. Who else? Who else i'm uh aaron you got somebody what about the dogs that are hitting like are maril and and norman yeah those guys are these guys already like doing their thing i think they're the top guys now i think because i watched maril and norman special. Well, you know who we should talk about is Matt Rife. Oh, yeah, Rife. Because that dude is it.
Starting point is 01:47:10 He skyrocketed. He sold six million tickets worldwide. That's crazy. Six million, brother. Dude, six million tickets? I got to tell you, dude. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 01:47:20 I don't know if anyone's... It's an economy. I don't know if anyone's ever motivated me to work harder. Yeah. Because you look at Matt Rife and you want to dislike him because he's so hot. He's a gorgeous guy.
Starting point is 01:47:29 Have you seen his body? His body's shredded. And then it's unreal. I'd love to see it. Our manager was on his flag football team. They were like, hey, our manager's like, hey, you guys got to act more like Matt Rife. I was like, yeah, sure, no problem. They were like, just do what matt rife's doing
Starting point is 01:47:45 i was like okay yeah exactly yeah you're gonna chisel doll i was like she's impossibly confident and hot i was like done um but one of our managers was like yeah i play flag football with matt and i was like is he good he's like dude he rips a wide receiver yeah yeah i might take him in the fantasy draft he's the new antonio brown fuck but uh dude it was so motivating because he's so charismatic up there you know and so you look at him and you're like
Starting point is 01:48:08 I'm competitive and like even if I'm not there I'm like I want to get there so I'm like how do I beat this dude I'm like well I'm not going to be hotter
Starting point is 01:48:14 than this guy and I think he's funnier than me so I think I just got to work extra hard I got to be super super funny like I got to lock it in and just bring it yeah man
Starting point is 01:48:24 I know he's crushing it's insane he's a freaking superhero yeah you know it's funny too like when i was when i was single every pretty girl who would like like one of my videos if i did a little stalking on them i'd look at them and see who they followed matt right only one name that we both followed at the top Matt Rife every time yeah yeah I mean dude he has
Starting point is 01:48:47 it's funny because we're like touring you know and so we'll be in Ohio and like who's ever hosting for us I'll be like
Starting point is 01:48:53 oh what's up man how's it going he's like oh good I'm like any good comics come through he's like Matt Rife was here a couple weeks ago
Starting point is 01:48:57 I'm like that's sick that's sick he's like I've never seen so many MILFs in my life hilarious bro yeah
Starting point is 01:49:02 hilarious he's just cornered a new market. Smart fucking dude. It's cool, man. I don't know if I can remember. I guess Dane Cook was a little like that
Starting point is 01:49:09 with like the rock star kind of shit. Yeah. But it's a rare thing. I don't know if I've seen it before. Yeah. No.
Starting point is 01:49:16 You know who he works with is like Paul Aliyah. Oh, yeah. Paul Aliyah's great. We used to get stuff with him at Flappers back in the day. Years ago, man.
Starting point is 01:49:24 Yeah. Marty's a good dude. I've been doing Marty's a good guy. We used to get stuff with him at Flappers back in the day. Years ago, man. He's always been a good dude. I haven't seen Marty. I haven't seen Marty. Always a good guy. Oh, Marty. Yeah. Paul's strong. Paul seems like he'd be a good wrestler.
Starting point is 01:49:31 For sure. All right, we got to push, huh? Chad. Dude, I got to say too, we didn't have many questions. All the questions were like advertisement spots. Oh, for real? Yeah, it was like people were like, yeah, we want you guys to sponsor our trash cans.
Starting point is 01:49:50 That's fucking sick, dude. Go pick a trash can. My beef of the week is my dog's in heat right now. That's my beef, dude. I'd put a diaper on her. Dude, her twat is so swollen right now. It's like Jigglypuff in her friggin crotchal region whoa yeah dude pull up a photo jigglypuff yeah Jake pull it up
Starting point is 01:50:13 jigglypuff dude but did so yeah I have to put diaper on her which is like that's your gal snatch yeah dude put that up to the camera my goodness that's what it looks like and um so you know she's bleeding everywhere right yeah and it lasts it lasts for dude their heat lasts for like a month that's kind of weird right they're not horny and then they just have a month where they gotta go bang yeah and so she's being like a little more feisty and uh weird like eating habits weird all that kind of stuff and you can't bring it to the dog park and uh and then she's bleeding all over the place so i gotta put diapers on her which you know for like humans it it feels natural for a dog i'm like this is weird yeah and i'm like
Starting point is 01:51:02 you know i put it on i'm like i don't know because the dog And I'm like, you know, I put it on. I'm like, I don't know. Because the dog, I guess with a baby, you can't really tell them what's up. But with a dog, you really can't tell them what's up. They're just like, bro, why did you just put a fucking thing on my ass? Yeah, exactly. What the fuck? Yeah. And so it's just like this weird thing.
Starting point is 01:51:18 I don't know. I just can't wait for her to be out. But they say you should have them go through like one heat cycle so they don't uh before you like fix them yes because so they can have like their proper hormones or whatever so you know you know what i do sometimes when i'm tripping out on that kind of stuff where i'm like uh like i'm like oh like i put you in something that doesn't make sense to you and it pisses you off yeah i kind of laugh because i go yeah that would piss me off too yeah but like i'm like i'm like if you put if the dog put a diaper on you that'd be pretty hilarious dude the dog put a diaper on me i would not stop laughing that's what i mean right
Starting point is 01:51:48 the dog's looking at me just like yeah it wouldn't make sense but you'd kind of be like yeah yeah she's a sweet girl she's the best strides dude my beef of the week is with when I'm at work, and I work in the service industry. When I'm at work and someone has a complaint and they go, hey, what's your name? Dude. As if to say. That's threatening, bro. Exactly. To threaten me. And I go, bro, what I'm dealing with is parking cars.
Starting point is 01:52:20 I'm moving your car from here to there, or I need you to park over there. And it's a busy driveway. And look, sometimes it's busy. And I'm not a perfect person. And there, or I need you to park over there. And it's a busy driveway. And look, sometimes it's busy and I'm not a perfect person. And I might tell you a little bit directly, but if you're going to go somewhere and go, Hey, what's your name?
Starting point is 01:52:34 As if to say like, Oh, because I told you to park in a spot a little farther than you want, you want to get me fired and like take my livelihood. I'm like, fuck you, dude. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:52:43 You're the worst person in the world. Yeah. So if anyone ever at, it's's a total this dude did that dude and then i asked him his name and he oh that's a good pivot and i go what's your name and he goes and he gave me like eight names he had he was like a he was i think he was like maybe an armenian dude or something like that and he gave me like seven names like like his like proper family name and i was like and i cut the first name and i was like okay yeah and i just said his first name i was like okay thank you yeah and i was like dude like no that's a bullshit and i told him i go i go i go i'm just trying to give you the best service and help you out as best i can yeah people like that they're there's no there's no hope for them what are they mad about it's something else once again it's never about the laundry it's something else in his life where like me being like hey dude
Starting point is 01:53:28 you see those people behind you can you just move to the side like to the side i need you on the side and everyone wants to be like right in the front and i'm like my god because everyone's picking up like vips i'm like dude everyone's vips here we're all vips just go right over there i need to tell you eight times like why you know what you could have said to him i think it's okay man i have a little dick too whoa dude i should say that there's power in that camaraderie i should say that dude yeah devaluing camaraderie yeah i should say that it's okay bro so that's my beef dude requesting I should say that. It's okay, bro.
Starting point is 01:54:03 So that's my beef, dude. Requesting someone's name threateningly is my beef. Yeah. I can't stand people who do that. Brutal. Dude, my beef of the week is a beef between Isaiah Ryder and Rules. Isaiah Ryder was a basketball player in the 90s and 2000s, and he had a lot of athleticism,
Starting point is 01:54:26 and he could bring it on the scoring side of things. But he was just a goofball. He was always getting in trouble. He got arrested like eight times a season. And he was always missing practices. So they always had to suspend him for a quarter and whatnot. Because I'm reading this book about the trailblazers of the late 90s, early 2000s called the Jailblazers. And this is my favorite story about Isaiah Ryder.
Starting point is 01:54:45 He didn't know what a daylight savings was. So he thought he was 20 minutes late to practice, but it turned out he was 40 minutes early to practice. So then he left. And when he came back, he was an hour late to practice. That's like how committed he was to not doing things the way he was supposed to that's amazing dude it's wild bro he's a wild wild dude that's insanity dude we share the earth with dudes like that
Starting point is 01:55:19 when you go can't people be reasonable you go no especially no they cannot he's cut different yeah he's cut different chad who's your baby of the week what are you checking on maps yeah bro i was looking at that too i'm so glad you asked that because what map are you looking at dude she hasn't opened the dog crate yet and i'm like where are you at dude let's call her bro that's fucking good dog dadding dude maybe she's in traffic dude i don, that's fucking good dog-dadding, dude. Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like a dog-dadder. Maybe she's in traffic, dude. I don't know, I'm like 7-Eleven. Text her, dude. Text her.
Starting point is 01:55:49 I had a green light, like, telling some of those stories from my girlfriend about, like, the, she was like, if you mess it up, you gotta call me on the podcast to, like, clear it up. If you mess up what? Like, if, like, our fight, where she had to get me booted. Oh, nice. She, would she text you? How do you explain it?
Starting point is 01:56:04 I think she's asleep now. All right. My babe of the week is Ponzu sauce. You guys, you? How do you explain it? I think she's asleep now. My babe of the week is Ponzu sauce. You guys ever try Ponzu sauce? Yeah, dude. Wait a second. That's your babe of the week? Yeah. That makes sense.
Starting point is 01:56:13 Yeah. Yeah, it's the dankest. Well, yeah, because, dude, all credit to you. When we had a bowl at Sweet Fin after the show came out, you made the bowl. Thanks, dude. I didn't contribute much. My dank wife had that bowl you put ponzu on it right what's that you put ponzu on it right dude ponzu is the best yeah you know if you get
Starting point is 01:56:31 sugarfish right if you're getting sush ask for more ponzu sauce i do it's the best sauce it's way better than soy sauce they got they got two other sauces there they got the ponzu and another zoo yeah and they don't give it to you with everything so sometimes you gotta order the scallops just to get the right fucking sauce for the other fucking because they you get the ponzu and then you get the ponzu lime or whatever yes yeah i only put the fucking soy on salmon yeah dude that's it yeah every other fish ponzu bro okay we should do a shroom podcast yeah i'm super down and we should do it live i do that's what the people want yeah i would they want you to be wacky noodle yeah they want to see you as you and i'd say they don't like you and then they'll come back but like that's what that was the way
Starting point is 01:57:15 it is i'd say weird stuff little do you shroom now not all the time now but you boom yeah dude we'll boom i love it i love booming would you boom on here I don't boom hard How hard What's boom How hard No we boom light We boom light I don't do much I don't do much Like three bars
Starting point is 01:57:29 Like three little Three's a lot for me I do two 50 milligrams 500 milligrams Yeah maybe two Then we're dialed I go slow over the I go slow over the course of a night
Starting point is 01:57:36 Cap and a stem Just a little goofy Put a little sundae on there Hey call it next week I'm in Let's Uber together We'll all cruise here together We all gotta have fun
Starting point is 01:57:43 Life is life Yeah I'm so down I'm not worried about's Uber together. We'll all cruise here together. We all got to have fun. Life is life. Yeah. I'm so down. I'm not worried about it. Uber for me is going to blow. I hate Ubers. I hate Ubers. You got about a one hour Uber in front of you.
Starting point is 01:57:52 Ubers suck, bro. I hate taking Ubers. So do I. Why? Because you don't like being in the car with somebody else? I don't like being in the... Yeah, I just don't like someone else driving. You're not in control, bro.
Starting point is 01:58:01 You know what it is, man. I don't like someone else. I get motion sickness. Have you tried this? Because I heard this works. Next time an Uber comes to pick you up, you say, hey, buddy, I'm You know what it is, man. I don't like someone else. I get motion sickness. Have you tried this? Because I heard this works. Next time an Uber comes to pick you up, you say, hey, buddy, I'm driving. Dude. Oh, good call.
Starting point is 01:58:09 Good call. Get in the back. Take a break. I get motion sickness. That's the big thing. People in the backseat get motion sickness. You know what, though? Dude, that's funny you said it because I believe you.
Starting point is 01:58:17 Yeah. But every other person who's ever told me they got motion sickness in the back, I'm like, you just want a shotgun. Correct. I'm like, correct. Don't even fucking. Like any team team like soccer soccer travel team
Starting point is 01:58:26 oh I get car sick oh I get car it's always the worst kid on the team yeah he's always a little self involved and you're like
Starting point is 01:58:32 yeah you like shotgun Ethan needs the front seat fuck you Ethan funny your illness correlates to having the best of the best exactly but I believe you
Starting point is 01:58:41 thanks I believe you preach I believe you who's next babe is it? I got one more beef Yeah Sugarfish?
Starting point is 01:58:49 Yeah I think their unagi Is bad unagi Whoa The unagi looks weird right now Whoa That's the eel Freshwater eel
Starting point is 01:58:56 Yeah It looks weird Get it out That's wild Get it out The color's not right Get it out Good beef dude
Starting point is 01:59:03 Babe it dude And that's Sush It's Sush right? It's fish Am I stealing a babe from you Get it out The color's not right Get it out Good beef dude Babe it dude My babe And I might be Am I stealing a babe from you By saying you're a dank ass GF No please Speak on it And I'll tell you right now
Starting point is 01:59:13 This is a powerful moment for me Every babe ever on my pod On this podcast Whoa yeah this is huge Every babe ever Is in my dank wife Honey you hear this Let me tell you something
Starting point is 01:59:22 I love you Right now My babe of the week is jt's dank ass gf and i would say her name right now but i'm not putting her in a box or defining her that way the mother of fucking jt's kids the mother of her own kids uh she's a fucking beast dude she's been through it man like she grew those kids she delivered those kids she's now dealing it's not over man no like her body's going through crazy crazy changes her brain is getting taken for a ride yeah man it's it's really stressful on every and you know what it is it's
Starting point is 01:59:59 like as as much as i think we're all good dudes i think we all are involved I think we're all good dudes. I think we all are involved. I think we're all sensitive. I think we care. But we will never have the burden that a mother has when it comes to the children. You know what I mean? Women got genetically ripped. It's not fair. They just feel a responsibility. Like, I feel very responsible to the kids.
Starting point is 02:00:21 Aaron, do you grok with this too? But, like, the relationship a mother has to the children it's just it's something deeper right yeah totally they they grew up inside her i mean it's just there's no way around it and i and i think society puts a bit more i don't know if it's society it might just be hardwired into them too but like like i put pressure on myself to be a good dad but the pressure that moms put on themselves to be a good mom is next level yeah sure that's tough it's deeper for sure it's higher and it's deeper like i'm like i'm like if i fuck up i'll be like yeah i fucked up but my girl will be like i fucked up and it'll like weigh on her right like you're doing a great job right the kid's gonna be a
Starting point is 02:01:01 fucking idiot no matter what the The kid's going to do what the kid's going to do. Bro, I'm hoping the kid, I got to tell you, the kid's kind of hot. The boy. He looked good. Oh, he's cute, dude.
Starting point is 02:01:12 He's handsome. He's handsome. I think he'll be a little bit, he doesn't like to read. I know he doesn't like to read. Get him on some books. Yeah, already. I got the Wall Street Journal out.
Starting point is 02:01:19 He said no? No, he's just turning everything away. I think he'd be a little bit of a himbo. A little bit of a himbo. Oh, dude, he could be the next Matt Rife He could be
Starting point is 02:01:26 Teach him crowd work I might not be able to beat him But I could raise the thing that destroys him Dude that would be hilarious Correct That would be hilarious Dude make your kid the next My girl's pretty too
Starting point is 02:01:36 My girl could do it Those are her genetics Booting it up Do you see JT's son Is just crushing crowd work He's got a chin on him Amazing crowd work So dialed in
Starting point is 02:01:44 Yeah He's the most Riz I've ever seen in my life dude yeah the way he leans yeah dude sips his water and the perfect emphasis with the perfect emphasis dude that's very nice of you man thank you man of course thank you i don't want to snipe it from you no no that was that you know i was gonna say it but that that that boosts it coming from you and um she did an amazing job. Yeah. She did an amazing, amazing job. It's crazy. Bro, like, we take it for granted because so many people go through it. Going through birth is a trauma.
Starting point is 02:02:14 It is a physical and mental trauma. It reminded me of Tony Soprano getting shot in the stomach in, like, a later season of The Soprano. I was like, that's basically what you're going through. There was a moment. She told me i could talk about this like an hour after the birth they got her in a new room they moved us rooms like five times she's downstairs two nurses looking after bro just two liters of blood came out of her yeah i'm just looking at liters of blood just coming out it's like what if we we don't have anything like that and they put it back in right they give her they give her a thing to
Starting point is 02:02:51 get her i don't want to get you into the weeds of it but yeah yeah she's back everything's good dude you know a c like a cesarean section is from caesar and it was just meaning they wanted babies for the empire where they go if there's anything wrong you cut open the mother goes dude it's it's and that's how it is it's a straight like organs right yeah it's a straight sword cut across the gut and then they're like hey welcome to being open and then they just grab the little guys out of you yeah no it's not chill not oh yeah yeah no i remember someone was describing it they pull out like organs right no they're just moving stuff.
Starting point is 02:03:26 That's what's funny. There was like 10 minutes between the two kids being born. Yeah. I'm like, what takes 10 minutes to find the other kid? It's like, I think they're just moving like intestines and lungs and hearts around. And then they're like, oh, there he is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's insanity, dude.
Starting point is 02:03:39 It's insanity they can do that. It's insane. It's wild, wild, wild. Dude, well, My Baby of the week is another mother and it's terrence crawford who i think is the best boxer alive right now i just watched him absolutely dismantle another guy who's supposed to be one of the best boxers alive um jake paul yeah he had a fight he's i like jake do you see him and Logan beefing a little bit are there I think they're setting up a fight for them so Terrence Bud Crawford is like
Starting point is 02:04:09 he dismantled this guy Errol Spence who is a great fighter but it was a sad fight because Bud Crawford just beat the shit out of him and it made me feel bad this is all right so we can watch the whole clip and then maybe Jake can cut it down before we post the full thing after the live listen to Bud Crawford's mom, what she was like. My dad used to tell my mom I was going to be a world champion. I told you, baby. She said you're not going to be shit. I'm going to make you feel.
Starting point is 02:04:37 You're going to make me rage. Damn, dude. Dude, is that the most savage shit you've ever seen? So Bud Crawford, best boxer alive right now, think he's incredible he's incredible switch hitter like can do anything basically in there his mom he was like i'm gonna be a champ his mom's like you're not gonna be shit and then she hired she put a bounty on him and told other kids in the neighborhood i'll give you ten dollars if you can beat bud's ass. And then he whooped all those kids. And then he said, see, Mom, I'm going to be the champion.
Starting point is 02:05:08 She said, you're not going to be shit. Dude. She's Louise. Isn't that savage? Is it worth it? Dude, that's what's interesting, because I've been sending it to people. And they're like, well, a bad parent
Starting point is 02:05:22 can be an effective parent. It's like a thing. Someone texted back, and I'm like, yeah, I, you know, is like a thing. I, someone texted back and I'm like, I'm like, yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 02:05:29 I could have even been a champ if she wasn't like that. Yeah. I feel like it's better if like, she was too aware of being the bad parent. And that, at least in that interview, we were like a bad parent should be like absent to your, this or that.
Starting point is 02:05:39 And the kid like comes up on his own. She's like actively being a villain. But she was like, go kill my kid. And then they're like, your kids want to hear I love you. She's like, yep a villain. But she was like, go kill my kid. And then they're like, your kids want to hear I love you. She's like, yep,
Starting point is 02:05:47 wouldn't tell them. You're like, all right, dude. It's tough to be like, all right. But he's the best boxer alive now. I know,
Starting point is 02:05:54 Machiavellian. But I guess, you know what? I won't give her too much credit because I don't think she knew she was doing that. I think she did for sure from that interview.
Starting point is 02:06:03 She knew she was making the best boxer ever. Or not ever, but like a tough kid like best boxer right now yeah why won't you tell your not ever love best boxer right now yeah also what made me think of that when i watched that too was like the interviewer cut to him his own face too much where i was like this guy needs to get punched you want to sock him yeah he knows what he's doing have you ever seen an interviewer you didn't want to sock nope you want to? Nope. You want to sock them all? I want to sock them all. Who do you want to sock the least?
Starting point is 02:06:28 Al Michaels. But I don't know if he's going to. Charlie Rose. Maybe Charlie Rose, yeah. He's weird. He'd open the door with a boner. Different time. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:06:37 Do you think David Goggins always has a boner? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Or never. It's one or the other. Yeah. Yeah, it's extreme. Chad, who's your legend of the week? My of the week is anticipation oh i think what led me to this was anticipation of the rage like if you're
Starting point is 02:06:55 anticipating beer die if you're anticipating a hot saturday with the fellas if you're anticipating a brunch with your girlfriend with mimosas and and freaking pancakes and french toast if you're anticipating a cabo trip oh if you're anticipating a surf trip you're if you're anticipating just going to see a movie with your with your girlfriend if you're anticipating having chinese food on a freaking tuesday the anticipation it's huge on a freaking Tuesday. The anticipation. It's huge on a Tuesday.
Starting point is 02:07:30 Is almost better than the actual event itself. Anticipation is what reigns supreme. I'm with you. Yeah. I'm with you, bro. Yeah. 100. Dude, it was funny.
Starting point is 02:07:43 We had our show at the comedy store on Monday. Yeah. And my girlfriend was like, are you excited for it? I'm like'm like no I'm excited for things that are a month away right like even like even things that I'm anticipating that are close yeah lose their appeal yeah and I'm like what's down the road yeah what is that it's just like you put so much because it's in your imagination still the possibilities are endless. Because when you're in it, a lot of the time, you're sort of like, is this it?
Starting point is 02:08:11 It's not going to be what you want it to be. A lot of times it can't exceed your expectations. So sometimes I'm like, rein it in a little bit, rein it in. But then I'm like, no, but there's so much joy in planning things. It's nice to have stuff on the books. Yeah. You got to have fun stuff on the books. And you got to like big stuff that you're looking forward to that's making you a little nervous you gotta like work up to yeah like an ice bath yeah dude i miss my ice bath
Starting point is 02:08:37 is that thing this is down dude's been down for six months who are that shit, dude. Who are you, dude? It's broken, bro. Fuck. The coolant, dude. Then I got some whack-ass handyman who was like, it's the coolant. I replaced it. He didn't replace shit.
Starting point is 02:08:54 I don't trust him. And then I kept calling him. I was like, dude, it's not working. Stop taking my calls. Scuzzbag. What's coolant? Guy's an absolute scuzzbag.
Starting point is 02:09:02 I've been hearing that word my whole life. Don't know what it is. No one knows. Yeah, what is coolant? That's been hearing that word my whole life No one knows That's just a term from Big refrigerators Colder water Everything's room temp as far as I know
Starting point is 02:09:14 Sears Sears created the term coolant It doesn't mean anything It's just water Fuck you dude Whoever Sears is Fuck you dude Fuck you He gets an elbow to the crotch I'm gonna light you on fire
Starting point is 02:09:30 I headbutt his freaking dink Dude that's a crazy way to kill someone Headbutt their dink Yeah like on your knees Just headbutt their dick so hard That they fall down dead Can you imagine headbutting Is that a heart death or a brain death That's a soul death headbutt their dick so hard you right angle they fall down dead dude can you imagine head is that
Starting point is 02:09:45 is that a heart death or a brain death that's a just explosion yeah bro same time dude because you knew because i knew i guess it's something you headbutt you headbutt and then you right angle yeah yeah you break a man's dick you break a man's soul yeah bug croft a mom told him that yeah bro that's definitely was funny too because all the photos of bud crawford are in black and Dick you break a man's soul Yeah Bud Crawford mom Told him that Yeah Bro that stuff It was funny too Cause all the photos Of Bud Crawford Are in black and white
Starting point is 02:10:08 And then someone goes Bro he's 30 Yeah Well dude The interviewer's like And I read here That you said You break a man's dick
Starting point is 02:10:16 You break a man's soul That's right His mom's like That's true That's true I broke many men's I told him that every day I broke many men's dicks
Starting point is 02:10:23 I grabbed him by the dick When he was 11 They never came back You can control him I took Bud's dick off when he was 11 I said you can have this back when you're the champion I still haven't given it back to him Bud's like filming with rage and not have a dick
Starting point is 02:10:35 I've been dickless for 22 years He's beaten men's asses She has it in like a sealed jar This is his dick Unfortunately I ripped it off before he hit puberty, so it's still tiny. It's tiny. Dude, that's crazy. I was looking at
Starting point is 02:10:52 my son's dick today when I was cleaning him. Well, yeah. It's going to get bigger, though. Yeah, for sure. It's going to get bigger, though. Some don't. Nah, I got to get a little bigger, though, right? You said it's staying that small. got a small ass dick dude yeah you don't have a baby
Starting point is 02:11:10 dick it's not a baby dick but it's a small ass dick you're messing with both genitalia at once yes baby genitalia i am i do you know what it's funny you do like you get a little bit like oh it's gonna be weird when you get into the mix, I would say this is one of the best part about having kids and even seeing the birth thing is that you, you know, I was anti-fart for so long. Yeah. Bro, I haven't seen it all now. Yeah. It's just it.
Starting point is 02:11:34 Just put me in the middle of all of it. It's nice. Let's fucking go. Dude, once you free yourself of that, I think it's very liberating. But I'm still anti-fart. Yeah, it's a bit. But you get duty. Oh, i'm still anti-fart yeah it's a bit but you get duty oh you're right you're right it's a bit if you guys i appreciate you calling me out no no i'm not saying you hey that's real i'm saying i'm saying you hate oh okay i thought you were calling
Starting point is 02:11:54 me out and i wanted that no but you're right you're right you're right you hate farts when people are like look how funny i'm farting no except when you used to do it in high school and senior that was genius that was i seriously you elevated it you elevated thank you that was genius that was courage it took courage didn't raise my hand and fart i'll never scoff at courage my hand then fart you get duty on your hands duty poo poo i love the word duty yeah i mean we're gonna hit doho together as a crew dude yeah we can go just do some duty water duty dip doho duty water doho duty dip bro that's doodoo we can go get some Doody water. Doody dip. Doho Doody water. Doho Doody dip, bro. That's doodoo.
Starting point is 02:12:29 Let's go get some fucking Scarlet Fever. And have some deli meats afterwards. Secure as all, dude. Oh. Nice contact, dude, the way you came in. You guys both look heavy, dude. In a good way. I'm not fucking around, dude. Flex, flex, flex, flex.
Starting point is 02:12:41 I'm not fucking around. It's important. People need it. I look skinny, dude. No, you, flex. I'm not fucking around. It's important. People need it. I look skinny, dude. No, you don't. I do think I was heavier than you at the gym the other day, though. You were, you were. Oh, yeah, look at that.
Starting point is 02:12:54 21 or 2 pounds, though, dude. Look at that. You should be heavier than me, dog. It's true. Dude, I forgot we were live for a second. I had an urge to pull my pants down. You should pull your penis out, dude. Do it, dude.
Starting point is 02:13:07 The audience wants it, dude. I'll do it for the algo. I'll do it for the algo. For sure. Matt Pipe, dude. Are you legend-y? Legend? Okay, my legend of the week's got to be fucking...
Starting point is 02:13:23 Let's see, dude. I ran on this lady's foot at work she was cool about it you ran over her foot technically she stepped in front of the car like it was my back it was the back rear tire and i was like inching forward and she was taking a picture and not looking and leaned back and put her heel like in front of the back like passenger side rear tire like the least tire that i would see and like just rolled over her like heel and she was a fucking g about it dude that's really cool she didn't give a fuck she's like yeah dude my bad like that hurt but cool how bad did it hurt her i got her some ice perfect needed a little ice ice She went out to a bar
Starting point is 02:14:06 Nice What kind of whip were you handling? Cadillac Sedan Heavy Yeah Couple tons 6,000 pounds
Starting point is 02:14:12 Couple tons yeah Swing Swing swing swing swing swing swing How much do you guys think a Cadillac weighs? 6 tons 6 tons No no no no 3 tons
Starting point is 02:14:24 69 tons uh cadillac xt4 is 3 800 pounds the lyric is 5 800 pounds the cadillac xt6 4 700 that's a pretty big range it's a big range dude my legend of the week is the uh the staff at a cedar sign again i was skeptical at first. I thought they were making mistakes. I thought I was going to sue. I thought they were responsible for any bad things that might have happened to my new kiddos that I care about. And, you know, after sussing through as many facts as I can understand, I realized that they did an amazing job, that they made some hard decisions in real time that could prove to be
Starting point is 02:15:06 hugely beneficial for the kiddos and um i'm so so grateful to them it's a great job to be a doctor and uh to be able to help people and i know it's gonna be a hard job because you got to see the hardest parts of life but when i when you do the when you when you have an opportunity to help and you and you make the decisions i can do it, you change lives. So I'm very, very grateful to them. And I was grilling the doctor for the first couple days. I think she thought I was even questioning why she made that call, but I was actually worried why she didn't do it sooner. But then after learning a little bit more about it and her walking me through it, I can't thank her enough for helping us.
Starting point is 02:15:45 And I got to give her a hug. And I think we both got a little choked up. It was nice. Beautiful. We both got a little teary-eyed at the end. I was leaving yesterday. When I was taking Marie Marie home, I said, can I give you a hug? She said, yeah.
Starting point is 02:15:58 Beautiful. And then we strapped up and all. I was like, dude, nice. What a gig she has. She's walking around doing that on the daily. Life and death, bro. It's huge. She's dealing. She's real. She's in around doing that on the daily. Life and death, bro. It's huge. She's dealing.
Starting point is 02:16:06 She's real. She's in it. She's addicted to that live and die like Eddie Guerrero. She's in the mix. And yeah, I can't thank her enough. Love that. It's awesome. Chet, what's your quote of the week?
Starting point is 02:16:18 Dude, I couldn't think of one. It's time to go something. That's freaking off the dome. Hold on a second. Is that Kenny Powers in my showroom? Where is it? Holy fucking shit. First off, Kenny Powers says he wants to do a goddamn commercial for me.
Starting point is 02:16:47 Oh, wait. I forget. You doing Ashley Schaefer? Ashley Schaefer. Damn fine to meet you. I'll stick with that. Ashley Schaefer, Ashley Schaefer, BMW. Damn fine to meet you.
Starting point is 02:17:03 So my legend of the week is I discovered this new song by this guy named alex sucks defines me and it's a great song and he's got some great quotes in here and he says i'm really messed up and the club won't let me in Now I'm walking around I'm tagging the streets Oh shit I gotta run Here come the police Dip around the corner
Starting point is 02:17:30 Now I'm out Now I'm out of breath I need a six pack And some cigarettes Bro That's Poetry It's fire dude
Starting point is 02:17:42 That's fire Poetry It's fire He didn't miss a He didn't miss a He didn't miss a syllable He starts off That song by saying I'm not even that drunk
Starting point is 02:17:51 I don't give a fuck It's tight God damn It's tight This guy And honestly I'm not gonna lie Listen to that song
Starting point is 02:17:58 It rips It rips That's sick Dude I'm gonna do some song lyrics too. Here's the thing about Hamilton. Hamilton, dog. When you're a young buckaroo and you see Hamilton, there's songs that will appeal to you.
Starting point is 02:18:19 My shot. You know? That'll speak to you. And then as you get a little older you go through more new songs start popping up and you say oh i see that song now and one of those songs for me now is dear theodosia and uh it's so beautiful but i'm gonna read it now i might even sing it I might even sing it. Dear Theodosia, what to say to you?
Starting point is 02:18:49 You have my eyes. You have your mother's name. When you came into the world, you cried and it broke my heart. I'm dedicating every day to you. Domestic life was never quite my style. When you smile, you knock me out, I fall apart Beautiful. And I thought I was so smart You will come of age with our great nation
Starting point is 02:19:17 You'll bleed and fight for you We'll make it right for you If we lay a strong enough foundation We'll pass it right for you If we lay a strong enough foundation We'll pass it on to you We'll give the world to you And you'll blow us all away Someday Aaron?
Starting point is 02:19:44 Beautiful. Aaronaron i'm drunk is that good sure yeah you go sure dude uh every dad said that response to it no dude that's great dude that's a good song too i'm gonna fucking it is a good one man listen on the way home it's a little different when you hear their version it's not as as good. I was way off rhythm. I fucked it up. It's a tough song to sing, though. It's not an easy song to sing. It's not easy. Theodosia.
Starting point is 02:20:10 Yeah, it's a tough one. Dear Theodosia. Yeah, I'll stop. My phrase of the week. Oh, phrase. Phrase of the week for getting after it is. Dude, let's plan a trip. Smart.
Starting point is 02:20:28 Very good. We should do that do that very good where would you go belize because it sounds like believe monaco sexy oh f1 sexy boat linen shirts dude guns guns i bought some linen pants today. Whoa, that's bold as fuck, dude. Where do they even sell linen pants? Alex Crane, dude. This is not an ad. That sounds like the place. Oh, I forgot to do ads. Fuck.
Starting point is 02:20:56 Oh, looks like you're boned afterwards, bro. You're boned. You're boned. No, it'll be all right, man. There's more people on the follow thing. You're boned afterwards, dude. Did you drink two Magic Mines? Yeah.
Starting point is 02:21:06 Are you hammered? Dude, I'm smart as a whip right now. I mean, you said anything racist, dude. Drink a third. See what happens. Do it, dude. No. No, it'll be a great add-on.
Starting point is 02:21:15 I know this is for the pod. It's for the pod. It's for content. But, you know, I got, you know. Wait, let's peer pressure. I got stuff to think about. Do it. Chad.
Starting point is 02:21:24 Chad. Chad. No. Chad. Stop. Chad. No. Chad. Stop. All right. I'm fair enough. All right.
Starting point is 02:21:28 Butt chug it. Butt chug it. Butt chug it. Fine. All right. My phrase that we forget after it? Butt chug it. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 02:21:35 It's a good phrase. Dude, my phrase that we're forgetting after it? Viktor Frankl. It's not what you demand from life. It's what life demands from you. Beautiful, dude. That's not what you demand from life. It's what life demands from you. Beautiful, dude. That's awesome. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 02:21:50 Fuck yeah, bros. Tired. Sick. Guys, thank you for joining the live. I don't need that. Oh, yeah. Gross, dude. Dude, you're eating the dollop right now. It is clean, dude. He just came from the hospital. Dude, you're eating the dollop right now he just came from the hospital
Starting point is 02:22:07 dude you're eating the dollop right now bro guys thank you so much for joining the live we'll see you guys on the next one if you need advice these guys are really nice you wanna know What to do and where to go When you need someone to guide you There's lots to have and throws beside you
Starting point is 02:22:38 Go free Go free Let's go deep Go in deep Cat and game Deep

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