Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 312 - DRAFT: PRESIDENTS

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

Today we are drafting the best PRESIDENTS of all time! Each person will compile a list and give a dank reasoning behind each one. The Judge, Mr.Cream aka Aaron will make the final decision on who wins....  Here is the Total Draft Standings: (s/o HandA on reddit)Chad: 5 wins (6 if you count first draft)JT: 4 wins Strider: 6 wins (Sitting out this week, due to poor performance last draft)Chris Parr: 6 winsBrad Fuller: 1 Win (The Ultimate Champ)Joe Marrese: 0 Wins (THE PEOPLES CHAMP) Come see us on Tour!Tickets on http://www.chadandjt.com Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Episode Sponsored by: BlueChew: Get your first month FOR FREE just pay the 5$ shipping https://www.bluechew.com Code godeep

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Swing! What's up guys? Welcome to the live, live episode. Draft episode. Let's go, dude. Of the presidents. Let's go. I'm scared. The freaking heads of state. But first, before we begin, guys.
Starting point is 00:00:17 We have merch that's on sale right now, limited time. Check out this shirt I'm wearing. Look at this. Long sleeve. Sick as hell. That thing's awesome. Swing. and then we got six a little sweater good for the lady to wear yeah your gf is going to be so cozy in that when the fall weather did transcend your worry stuff guys limited time custom ink made in the usa just like the presidents would have wanted. Most of them, I assume. Yeah, definitely.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Yeah. Also, we're going to be in San Jose and Chico tomorrow. Let's go. San Jose tomorrow. Chico Friday. Nashville next Wednesday. Charlotte Thursday. No.
Starting point is 00:00:58 Nashville next Tuesday. Charlotte Wednesday. Bozeman on Friday. Get your tickets. ChanJT.com Also, guys, what's better than presidents? Firm boners. That's because
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Starting point is 00:01:27 That's bluechew.com, promo code GODIP. To receive your first month free, visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast. Guys, make sure you get that bone in. All right. You nailed it. Hell yeah, dudes. Well, we got a hot, hot draft in in today and i'm psyched it's a
Starting point is 00:01:47 challenging draft i think uh there's a lot of ways to go wrong here yes there's a lot of landmines but i think we should say you know look i loved the um louis and gillis ep fired me up and i think louis said it said it he's like hey as characters these are obviously the morale i'm not gonna be a morality judge here there's a lot of bad guy everyone you know people are flawed these presidents yeah in their era we're judging from our 21st century lens like my boy dan carlin says they're not gonna yeah they're unacceptable they can't get they would never be elected or be in hold any office or you know manage any business or probably or probably stay in a marriage, which a lot of them didn't. It's like, I'm not judging that. I'm saying, how do they do as commander in chief?
Starting point is 00:02:31 So what metrics did you use to evaluate that? So I'm thinking I want these guys, I want their presidency to have elevated the United States on a international scale. I want them to have, you know respected the the office itself the institution uh and i want them to have been honestly badass which is vague and cool which is also vague so that's a little gray area but i want the interesting badass cool elevate the office elevate because if you're the commander in chief you want the whole your whole entire you know well and that's kind of who you are, too. 100%. I am the CEO. You elevate the squad.
Starting point is 00:03:07 Dude, that's very kind. But you're badass and cool. Dude, thank you. That's very fucking kind. So charisma is a big factor. You've got to have riz. Riz is, I mean, that ties into some of my picks, which might be controversial. Well, you're a big charisma guy.
Starting point is 00:03:21 I take charisma over policy Over morality Anything I'll take a charismatic guy I can tend that to be true Yeah that's why I'm a Scientologist You drive the bus You drive the Scientology bus around town Don't you the big white bus
Starting point is 00:03:40 Yeah I'm directing one of their commercials after this I'm trying to star in them They're like you can direct i'm like that's kind of weird um that's amazing yeah just come out on a boat with us in the middle of the ocean you can direct whatever you want dude come be a sea legend or whatever they have dude oh yeah best caesar salad in all of la scientology building no whoa are you serious do you know? Don't worry about it, man. That's the best one ever. Is that you at the meeting? No.
Starting point is 00:04:11 All I know is they have a good Caesar. Best one in LA. Or maybe I heard that somewhere. I don't know. Come on over and find out. Yeah. Whatever you heard about us. I'm all too.
Starting point is 00:04:20 You haven't heard it from us. Do you think we all have the same first pick? I don't think so It's like one or two, right? Yeah, one or two If you don't pick one of those two You've only botched yours right No, I think my second pick is not one of the two I think my second pick is also not one of the two
Starting point is 00:04:39 My first pick is the one But then it's the third one Wait, but I don't know the first one There's two guys No, I think the first one is the first one. I feel like there's a top three, right? But there's a tier. There's tiers. There's tiers. There's a top tier.
Starting point is 00:04:51 I feel like there's four in the top tier. And then I don't know what your guys' tier is. For me, also, like, Googling, like, Googling, you'll see like, I felt like I saw the same four just in different orders. I think you're right.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Yeah. I also, because I did some heavy research, I found controversy behind a lot of them. Yeah. So I'm going to play dirty. And with a lot of picks, I'm going to be. You're going to sandbag. I love it, dude. I'm going to zing you guys.
Starting point is 00:05:21 Dude, let's bring it. Let's bring it, dude. Well, also, I think that you're not just doing that for yourself. You're also doing that on behalf of marginalized communities that maybe don't have a voice in this conversation and on behalf of the history that needs to be told. So I think you're holding our feet to the fire in a way that benefits integrity. I didn't think about it that way, but yes, that's exactly right. All right.
Starting point is 00:05:39 Crusader for justice. Here's the thing. With history, without learning the mistakes, we're doomed to repeat them. So maybe we'll learn a little bit today too yeah all right should we do it let's go odds or evens one two three shoot okay i'm really scared one two three shoot one two three shoot there might be a good pick though that might be be, because, yeah, depending on your tier. I don't, I like...
Starting point is 00:06:06 I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I got fucked big time, guys. No, no, but I'm one or two. If anyone can handle it, it's you. Yeah. No. All right. One, two, three, shoot.
Starting point is 00:06:19 Oh my God! All right, I want... Dude, this is... Okay, hold on, hold on. This is good, this is good. Shit. Good luck. I actually think I want... Okay, hold on. This is good. I actually think I want to lose this. Yeah, because I'd prefer to pick
Starting point is 00:06:31 earlier on the next round. So I'm trying to lose this right now. You ready? Okay. Paper, rock, scissors, shoot. Fuck! You genius, dude. How did you know?
Starting point is 00:06:41 That was amazing, dude. I just didn't look. That was amazing. Alright, I'm going to go with our first commander-in-chief, George Washington. How did you know? That was amazing, dude. I just didn't look. That was amazing. All right. I'm going to go with our first commander-in-chief, George Washington. Bro, let's go. Whoa. I was not expecting that.
Starting point is 00:06:52 I was not expecting that. You kind of boned me in a way. Get out of here. Are you serious? He was the general during the Revolutionary War. So, you know, props for that. I know he wasn't president yet. Chris, huge. the revolutionary war so you know props for that i know he wasn't president yet chris huge um
Starting point is 00:07:06 uh let's you know what else did we talk about he also was offered to be king so he created that's my like the best thing that's why i think he's like yeah why he should go number one yes he could have been there forever until he died at least but he said no i don't want to do that this thing that we've done needs to go beyond just one man because so he is and it was his precedent of serving two terms and then stepping down which didn't go into law for generations that we now have today and it was all based off his precedent of i did two terms and now i gotta back out and then he stayed out of politics yeah and he just like who he bred dogs he was into dog breeding yeah and he just and he just said now now the country just i did my part now it's time
Starting point is 00:07:57 to just see where it goes and i imagine he was probably super fucking frustrated with things you know but like he just knew he had to let it go. Correct. And it's like the most beautiful fucking thing ever. He defined the paradigm. I mean, I think you got to give him, everyone's compared to him. And it's kind of like,
Starting point is 00:08:16 like some comedians don't like Lenny Bruce, but he broke the ground. Like we're only here because of Lenny Bruce. So it's like, yeah, he's the foundation of all of it and and like you said grand humility like when they there's like a letter when he got appointed to be the general of the revolution and he's writing to his wife he's like oh it's a really big gig
Starting point is 00:08:34 like i don't know if i can handle it but i'll do it if they want me to and you're like man like you're and then his i think his second inaugural speech was only 174 words he was just like what up i'm the president we got to stay united let's let's get this thing so baller he's like you fucking know me dude what up on the way out was like try not to fall into political parties don't sign foreign treaties where we are yes you know that was big he was big on unity he was big on the nation stay just like stay together you know like don't and we don't do too much shit in other people's backyards kind of feels like that's what the no foreign treaties was kind of leaning towards but like it's and like whether
Starting point is 00:09:11 or not that was realistic like it was a lofty aim and i appreciate that like the first dude who held the position was like let's aim for these kind of goals yes and unity above all that fires me up dude but what about the whiskey rebellion yeah oh dude some dings look out bro this guy led federal troops against american citizens to quell a tax revolt i was i'm kind of with it because because one thing it's the only time a u.s president has led troops against like a domestic uprising but he led the troops he had skin in the game he actually went out there and was like i'm gonna thwart this and although you can disagree with his tactics it was all in the name of unity he's like look we are a delicate collection of you know states and territories here
Starting point is 00:09:54 we got to stick together i gotta nip this thing in the bud and keep us bunched in tight yeah but that's interesting that you're pro domestic terroristestic terrorist. I didn't see that coming, but that's a hot take. Fuck it. I'm pro-taxes on whiskey, too, dude. I don't want the nation to rage. Dude, I agree with that. Yeah, but you like roads, dude? Where do you think your tax money goes, dude?
Starting point is 00:10:18 No, I don't like roads. You don't like roads. You think I'm late? We should be flying, bro. I hate being landlocked, dude. Let's get up into the sky. I heard Washington was froding back in those days. Dude, he was always froding.
Starting point is 00:10:30 He had huge wagon wheels, dude. Him with his fucking foot up crossing the Potomac. Aaron, was it the Potomac or the Delaware? Yeah, dude. He's fucking just bawling with his dick out. Also, dude, here's the thing. He was 6'3", very important. Especially back then when the tallest guy otherwise was
Starting point is 00:10:45 like 5'10 yep he's honest his cherry tree the fable of the cherry tree you know he confessed to his father uh he's a badass dude he's a fucking bad the general dude they say maybe he wasn't the best tactician but he was still he was hey but he won he won it's like the biggest has anyone ever been a great tactician i think you go over history like they're gonna make some mistakes they're gonna make some alexander the great yeah yeah and I think you go over history, like they're going to make some mistakes, they're going to make some doubts. Alexander the Great. Yeah. And I think setting the standard, too, for being able to step away from power like that,
Starting point is 00:11:10 that's so... It's the best. Yeah, and that's... And look, you've got to say it, it's not a fun part of the conversation in this era. He's a slave-holding president. But look, he was no, at least at the documents that we have,
Starting point is 00:11:23 he wasn't like another president of notoriety who maybe someone will take he did sign that he did sign the fugitive slave act though yeah it's bad he did a lot of bad stuff look wish he didn't do that but he stole my number one pick very bad well dude i think that was a good number one pick but i think you blew it i'm going with the ultimate president. The ultimate him, dude. You know, like when a basketball player's balling, he's just like, I'm him. I'm him. I think this is the most I'm him moment in maybe history.
Starting point is 00:11:54 Abraham Lincoln. Yeah, bro. Of course. Preserving the union. Of course, dude. Let's go. I was on C-SPAN looking at their rankings of president. Lincoln was number one in 2021, 2017, 2009, 2000.
Starting point is 00:12:06 He's the only one who hasn't moved a spot. And the metrics that they use for president is public persuasion, crisis leadership, economic management, moral authority, international relations, administrative skills, relations with Congress, vision setting and agenda, pursuit equal justice for all, performance within context of times. He is number one in all but three of those categories. Oh, dude.
Starting point is 00:12:26 He's a beast. On top of that, the sickest monument. Memorial. Beautiful memorial. Yeah. Beautiful. Because he's a huge guy, and he's just freaking sitting there being huge. Dude, when he's sitting there, he's posting up.
Starting point is 00:12:38 He's like, I'm 6'9 when I sit. He is him. I think the most quotable speech. Dude, eloquent for days he gave a speech so good to like the uh senate about slavery before the war before he was president the speech is so good there's no notes on it the reporters all drop their pens just to listen yeah because he is him dude he was a wrestler he lost one wrestling match his whole life and he was tall six four he's that's right he's a big boy i like that he grew
Starting point is 00:13:05 up poor he grew up on a dirt floor springfield and he he he lived the american dream and then he tried to make that opportunity possible for all other american citizens emancipation proclamation huge house divided cannot stand there's rumors they hooked up with dudes too of course he did good good yeah he hooked up with everybody. Mary Todd was a challenging wife. Challenging wife. Still loved her. He was nice to her. He was nice to her.
Starting point is 00:13:28 In my research it said he was the best at getting domed from other dudes of all the presidents. Fuck yes. I'm talking about fuck yes. I don't know. There might be one
Starting point is 00:13:35 that was pretty good at getting domed. From dudes though. Yeah, that's true. That's true. From dudes. You're right. Chris could call.
Starting point is 00:13:39 Lincoln was the best from dudes. Good call. Good call. Bro, the grand humility. He wrote a letter to McKellen who was blowing it for the union in the war because he wasn't attacking robert e lee because he didn't really want to disrupt slavery he wasn't a real believer in progress lincoln just writes to him and is like
Starting point is 00:13:53 hey man could you be a little bit more aggressive i'd just like to see you try that's the letter he wrote that's what he said he wasn't being an asshole he wasn't being overbearing now look did he fire him three weeks later yes but he was polite all the way through but then he found somebody who would finally just be like how to do the dirty work of like ulysses s grant was finally like all right dude we got superior numbers we're just gonna keep we could keep losing and still win and that's what they did yeah it's fucking brutal but lincoln knew what needed to be done and dude he was a beast never said that like never always said that like during throughout the entire war like never said that they were
Starting point is 00:14:25 that it was like that they separated and they succeeded he always referred to it as like the union like he never wanted to even use the the the wording that like to say like there were two separate countries at the moment you know it was like washington they're all about the niche they're all about unity dude we've lost that lincoln was about it and chad he had a yellow lab he had a yellow lab bro named fido damn i was about to i was about to zing you for the suspension of habeas corpus but no hey he did a lot of stuff i just want me over he broke a lot of laws i mean he was with freedom of the press he came down on it but look you know urgent times call for exegesis and measures yeah i think i might have made up a word there but dude and and the movie oh yes very good and you could i mean you
Starting point is 00:15:12 could argue that like it's i don't know it's just so compelling just watching him in that time during the i mean there's just so much at stake the stakes could never be higher dude the stories you know it's a good you know it's a good movie when the actor playing the character, when I think of Lincoln now, I just think of Daniel Day. Same here, bro. Bro, same. It's like whatever picture I had in my head has been supplanted by Daniel Day in that movie just being like, do you know you're Pythagoras?
Starting point is 00:15:38 Yeah, do it. And you know, he's like in a blanket. I'm like, boys, okay, stick with it. All right, see you later.'s like in a blanket I'm like boys okay stick with it alright see you later just like wise I love how he always like he just monologues so much in that movie
Starting point is 00:15:50 but they do have one character who like when he's like gearing up to monologue I go oh here we go which is like
Starting point is 00:15:57 I love that like it makes it just made everyone self aware they're like look this guy kind of talks a lot but also like
Starting point is 00:16:03 it's compelling you had to do it and he's a freaking debater there's like famous his debates I forget the guy that he ran against where they're like, look, this guy kind of talks a lot, but also it's compelling. He had to do it. And he's a freaking debater. There's famous his debates. I forget the guy that he ran against. Oh, yeah. Because it was tight.
Starting point is 00:16:11 In Illinois, right? Yeah. Because he lost. Who was it, Aaron? Douglas. Douglas. Those debates, he's a beast, bro. Because he lost for, he eventually won it. That was who he went against in the general presidential election.
Starting point is 00:16:23 Exactly. And that guy beat him earlier in his career in Illinois, but then obviously for not as prominent position, but then Lincoln came back and freaking dominated, adjusted adaptation. He's an adaptable guy too. And then also like the cultural impact. I mean,
Starting point is 00:16:36 like we didn't talk about the assassination, which like take somebody who would probably be extremely famous no matter what. And like a definitely great president just kind of like puts a fucking wild ending on a story well also it prevents him from having a bad second or third act that might have tarnished his legacy it's a little piece it's a little too popular yeah there's no bad albums but like it's but yeah and we all sit there and go and we sit there and we go if he was around for reconstruction how much better would it have gone?
Starting point is 00:17:05 But who knows? Right. Probably better. But you think better because he's a competent guy. He's a total competent, he's a beast, bro. And he goes, he said Reconstruction,
Starting point is 00:17:12 he goes, these are not our enemies. We need to, these are our brothers. Let's bring them back in. Yeah. We don't need any more of those Sherman. Dude, yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:19 Yeah, no more Scorchers tactics. Exactly. All right, we got to keep pushing. Huge, huge pick. Strider, who you got? Those are the obvious one and two. So I want it to keep pushing. Huge, huge pick. Strider, who you got? Those are the obvious one and two. So I want it to go there. Right now I'm going to go with JFK.
Starting point is 00:17:34 He is a cool president. He's dating models. He's fucking. He's got a hot wife. He's wearing the shades. He comes from a controversial family. Cool under pressure pressure too who are you appealing to right now the young just dudes who like wearing shades and and white t-shirts uh also tragically taken out too soon so he was you know as a progressive guy he was a war hero uh he fucking was huge during the bay of pigs so he was
Starting point is 00:18:01 a young guy stepped up looked up at the fucking Soviet Union, was like, fuck you, bro. Cool under pressure with nukes. Didn't fire any nukes. Cuban Missile Crisis. Cuban Missile, yeah. Because Bay of Pigs was a blunder on his part. Yes, sorry, sorry.
Starting point is 00:18:13 Because he's kind of got one foreign policy, like, good job, and then he's got one, like, you fucked up. Which in my mind is like, they kind of cancel each other out. Well, most of his heavy hitting shit got passed through LBJ. Like, he didn't survive to see it go down.
Starting point is 00:18:25 Like on the moon or civil rights act. Policy. He was cool in the space race. Did get that shit started, but we didn't land. That was cool. But like policy wise. No, I'm kidding. No, I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:18:35 That's interesting. But policy wise, a little light. But he did. But he's, I assume this is who you're talking about. He's really good at getting blown? Yes. He's very good at getting hit. He'd get a headache if he didn't bone for a day.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Yes. Yes. I like getting blowjobs. Yeah, it's pretty sick. And also, I would argue that, you know, he was probably the first president to stand up to the military industrial complex, to the CIA, to like the deep state. And you wonder if he wasn't assassinated. That could be why he's assassinated.
Starting point is 00:19:04 You wonder if he wasn't assassinated. That could be why he's assassinated. You wonder if he wasn't assassinated, how different the country would look today because it seemed like at the time these corrupt powers were trying to take control and he was standing up to it. Then they took him out. And he got taken down, and it's very sad. I guess it's sort of this idea of what could have been.
Starting point is 00:19:26 There's a lot of promise there. And you you know what he's the most inspiring president so many current politicians mark their inspiration to get into politics and seeing jfk speak like he created a generation of politicians through his charisma through his riz his riz through his telegenic appearance the nixon the jfkNixon debates. Through his wife. Because those were, oh, through his wife, Jackie. Through Camelot. He called it Camelot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Well, also, yeah, it was that televised debate, right? A lot of people say if it was on the radio. Nixon would have won. Right. Also, like, Nixon was apparently coming off a cold, so, like, he was, like, kind of, like, clammy looking. And he's a weird looking guy. And he's already not the most handsome guy.
Starting point is 00:20:03 And then you got JFK who's like, oh, man man this guy's fucking hot dude honestly hottest president yeah probably probably hottest obama he loses points for getting us into vietnam but he's super hot yeah yes yeah hey you know a lot of people say nixon himself lbj they blame it on the french but yeah the bad bad to uh look i'm all for blaming it on the french no question but, bad, bad to go to the Cold War. Look, I'm all for blaming it on the French. No question. But we probably shouldn't have done that anyways. Definitely should not have been in there. No question about that. Should not have.
Starting point is 00:20:32 But sexy guy. And here, he can sail. He sails. That's tight. You know what, too? I don't know how much of their pre-presidency should count into how we evaluate it, but I think if it's in dedication to the country, it's worth mentioning and maybe should for dude world war ii he doesn't have to go fight he's going against his dad who doesn't want to fight in the war his dad's like an isolationist basically because he wants to
Starting point is 00:20:53 keep that paper jfk goes and fights he's was he on a u-boat uh i think he's on a um what are the boats called the german he's on a destroyer he's on a destroyer sorry thing gets hit whole crew gets marooned out at sea. He drags a guy by his teeth with a bad back all the way to safety on an island. Then he swims out to get help. I mean, he goes above and beyond what it means to be courageous
Starting point is 00:21:14 and gets his crew saved. He was a spoiled kid, but he put his money where his mouth is and risked it all. Yeah. And he's like, I've been swimming all my life. I can do this. He sails, bro.
Starting point is 00:21:22 And his body was fucked forever. Yeah, and then he's in the hospital for a time with his bad back, which he was in and out of because his body was mangled. He writes a Pulitzer Prize winning book about politicians
Starting point is 00:21:33 who go against their party to help the country. Let's go. And I love that. That's fucking sick. He also wrote it with five cute secretaries who were just transcribing.
Starting point is 00:21:41 Look, is there any other way? Is there any other way to write? I didn't know that. Homer dictated the Odyssey. I didn't know you were Allowed to do that Homer dictated the Odyssey I didn't know you were Allowed to do that Homer dictated the Odyssey He was blind
Starting point is 00:21:48 How many cute chicks Were there for that Probably cute boys back then Probably cute boys yeah Probably cute boys I don't think they let Girls write Which they should have
Starting point is 00:21:55 For sure So that's legit Also like that was Probably a way to Motivate himself I'm too jacked up Like he's like I'm gonna write a
Starting point is 00:22:01 Pretty good fucking book If I got five hotties Right cause you're Gonna wanna say smart stuff if they're listening. You're going to want to write a good book. You don't want them to be like, dude, this is shit. Yeah, you're going to make this face a lot after you nail a point. So many questions are going to end with sentences like, whatever.
Starting point is 00:22:16 Did I stand up for what I believed in? Probably, but whatever. Exactly. But dude, Bay of Pigs? A blunder, dude, and I even messed up saying yeah very bad cuban very bad dude maybe i'm bad at doing zingers maybe i know you're right maybe our first president on meth oh yeah they said it was all because he had anderson syndrome so he was tired all the time so it was you know a doctor feel good who kept him up that's another positive
Starting point is 00:22:40 did good during the cuban missile crisis though i mean he fucked up cuba but then also he kept us strong and settled. I mean, the move to just- No nukes went off. Just to encase the Russian boats instead of attacking, so just putting the ball back in Russia's court. Yeah, who was it? Khrushchev it was at that time, or who was the guy at that time?
Starting point is 00:22:55 Yeah, Khrushchev. Super smart, dude. Fuck you, dude. They tried to pin us, then he pinned them, and he was like, you make the call. And then they backed out, dude. Yeah, he was a true example of stoicism in that moment. Also, what he probably had was a lot of post-nut clarity.
Starting point is 00:23:09 He'd probably be like, dude, fuck, I'm concerned about these boats in Cuba. Let me bust real quick. Here's the call. Yeah. Let's everybody just take a breath. Yes. And also the first president on meth or the first president on Adderall. Oh.
Starting point is 00:23:23 Right. Fratterall. That also would kick up your sex addiction, too. Chad, you are up, though, bro. All right. Two picks. I got two picks. I think you're actually in a solid spot.
Starting point is 00:23:31 I think you're looking good, dude. Yeah, you could go. But if you guys let me get my guy on the way back, it's over. No, you ain't getting him. You thought I was going to go with him, didn't you? Probably. If you're smart, you would have. Probably.
Starting point is 00:23:43 All right. Everybody stretch Limber up. I'm so jacked up, it's crazy. I know, I'm almost done with this. Alright, alright. I got two picks. First one, I think I got, you know, you got a wartime president,
Starting point is 00:23:58 I gotta go with another wartime president. I'm gonna go with FDR, number one. Not only did he get us through World war ii but he also got us through the great depression and established social security great new deal um but he led us through world war ii which i think is huge also you know he's in a wheelchair but he's polio polio but he that whole thing about how he didn't want the nation to know he was just a symbol of strength yeah the reporters respected that yeah which is pretty crazy that would never happen today but that whole thing about how he didn't want the nation to know, he was just a symbol of strength.
Starting point is 00:24:26 Yeah, the reporters respected that. Yeah. Which is pretty crazy. That would never happen today. Yeah. Oh, yeah, they would. They'd kneecap him. But it does kind of make him a liar.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Yeah. Good call. As a means to an end, though. All these guys are liars. As a means to an end. Look, in that kind of crisis, if that's what you've got to do, if you've got to bend so it doesn't break, I get it. Got to be Machiavellian. And then his quote, which is probably one of the best quotes of any president,
Starting point is 00:24:51 it's the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. So, yeah, got to give props to him. Also, I'm going to go with my second pick. Oh, I love it. Just moving right along. Unless you guys have more. First, I want to give FDR some more BJs here because he's a beast, bro. His New Deal, you know, that didn't bring us out of the Depression. right along. Unless you guys have more. First, I want to give FDR some more BJs here because he's a beast, bro. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:06 His New Deal, you know, they say, you know, that didn't bring us out of the Depression. It was the wartime economy, they say. But still, you know, he was making social programs,
Starting point is 00:25:13 which we have today. People will say, oh, dude, you're a socialist or blah, blah, blah. It's like, there have always been social programs that exist. He made some beastly ones.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Yeah, the Wagner Act that allowed workers to unionize. Yeah, yeah. It was big, you know, and that helped usher us out of the guilt of the fair the a the tva dude yeah all these fucking those programs that build 650 000 miles of highway that's you protected your deposits in the bank let's go yeah he was a super rich guy who seemed to care about working class yeah he's from highland
Starting point is 00:25:41 park but he didn't like forget about the people and you know mac's from Highland Park, but he didn't forget about the people in MacArthur Park. Yeah. And I think he has blood relations to a ton of other- 11 presidents. Yeah, 11. And that's why I didn't think you'd pick him because I know how you don't like that cabal that runs the world.
Starting point is 00:25:56 FDR is the embodiment of it. He's related to all these guys. He's one of the- Yeah, the cabal, the major families. He's a Rothschild, basically. You played yourself. He might be an alien, for God's sake. You know, I didn't know that. And now I've received my pick. He's a Rothschild, basically. You played yourself. He might be an alien for God's sake. You know, I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:26:06 And now I've received my pick. He's a lizard, dude. Married his cousin? That's a power inbreeding kind of thing. Very weird. Did you see her? They're cousins? Not weird at all. But he was cheating on her all the time.
Starting point is 00:26:20 He was related to everyone. She wasn't his only cousin. Of course, he does have a big ding. Japanese internment camps. Oh, I thought you were going to say he has a big dick. Very bad.
Starting point is 00:26:34 I thought you were going to say big dink. That was not cool. Internment camps, yeah. Very bad chapter in American history. Probably not true.
Starting point is 00:26:41 He also tried to do court packing, tried to get more Supreme Court justices on there so he could get the New Deal through. But I don't know. Is that a bad thing? That's still something we're debating today. People are still doing it.
Starting point is 00:26:50 It's politics. Look, it's frowned upon. I don't love it. But, you know, if he passed shit that I'm okay with, then what can you do? Yeah. And if we really want to put our tinfoil hats on, he knew Pearl Harbor was coming.
Starting point is 00:27:02 Whoa. Yeah, people say. And he let it happen. They cleared those waters. They knew... People in their conspiracies, they go, they knew aircraft carriers were going to be the dawn of naval warfare.
Starting point is 00:27:12 None of those were in Pearl Harbor. Take the battleships. Doesn't matter. Right. That's not the superior naval vessel anymore. Sometimes incompetence is the simplest and correct answer. Is that? Maybe that's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:27:24 I'm just getting tinfoil out i'm just messing around right but bro check that 1936 he won in the electoral college by 523 to eight whoa let's go and he did that's an on him moment i'm all about being on him but then he didn't finish you know yeah he was elected to four did not did not complete because the war time the only guy he had so he had the most terms of any president. Yeah. And dude, this, I think he has the most slept on memorial in Washington.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Yeah, it's nice to walk around. It's a nice story. It's boring. I don't know if I've been to that one. No, it's a nice story. It's boring. It's a nice story though. But there's no grandeur to it.
Starting point is 00:27:57 But the imagination, you're like, wow, he went through the depression. Wow, now he's in the war. It's just cool to have a big ass cock going straight at you. My number one pick.
Starting point is 00:28:05 Are you going Lincoln or are you going FDR's memorial? Well, you know I'm going Lincoln. Are you going Washington or are you going FDR? You know I love a big fat cock. Are you going the MLK one or are you going the FDR one? Well, you know, you can't just do that. I know. Which president's got the best memorial?
Starting point is 00:28:19 Yeah, because you fall asleep when you're there, dude. Did you? What's that? Did you fall asleep when you were there? No, no, no. We had a good time. We had to wake up early. It was early.
Starting point is 00:28:29 I was toward JT. JT was out. It was like 6 a.m. We had to walk a lot. It was tough. It was like, Joe, we're going on a... Was it summer, dude? Yeah, it was hot as fuck.
Starting point is 00:28:36 It was hot as fuck, bro. It was hot as fuck. He was having a ball. That was the best part. I would have loved that. I haven't actually gone, so I should... It's Sisonian, bro. You got to do that next time.
Starting point is 00:28:44 AC, it's all indoor. Dude, it's awesome. Man, museums make you tired sometimes. Yeah, we went to the Air and Space one. I've got to say, this is all right. Just watch Top Gun instead. So true. You can't even see the stuff fly.
Starting point is 00:28:56 You're like, cool, it's right there. It's like, but where are the missiles? Like, does anything blow up here? All right. My next pick. No, don't do it. I know I'm going gonna have to do it though I'm going with another Roosevelt
Starting point is 00:29:08 Smart Smart Teddy Roosevelt Should have been mine He's the best The bull baby The bull The most badass
Starting point is 00:29:14 I think he's the most badass president I mean this guy He is Maximus Desimus Meridius Desimus Meridius Something like that He's the fucking bull
Starting point is 00:29:24 Bull Moose Party bro Yeah I that he's the fucking bull bull moose party bro yeah I think he's the first modern president he comes in after the industrial revolution he looked out for people the most
Starting point is 00:29:31 I think he had the most integrity like when he was rooting out police corruption in New York he'd go out at night and just basically
Starting point is 00:29:38 go undercover and find cops who were blackmailing civilians Batman he was Batman they only made him vice president
Starting point is 00:29:44 to get him out of New York he was governor and all the corrupt politicians were like dude Batman, dude. They only made him vice president to get him out of New York. He was governor and all the corrupt politicians were like, dude, this dude's fucking up all of our shit. Let's get him out of here. Then he goes to be vice president. President dies. He comes in as president and just antitrust the fuck out of the country. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:55 Yeah. Broke up monopolies. That's huge. We could use him right now. We need him right now. And he's like, he fucking loved forests and shit. Yeah. And green spaces.
Starting point is 00:30:04 A lot of conservation. But we got to stay on the antitrust. He was on the side of the worker man. Yeah. Well, I'm saying union busting. Fuck that shit. Union busting. Sorry, like antitrust shit, but also like man of nature. I just think that's like, I love both those things so much.
Starting point is 00:30:20 Right. He had that powerful dichotomy. Yeah. Breaking up corporations, that's huge. I mean, we could really use him today for sure. He was Jack. dichotomy. Yeah. Breaking up corporations, that's huge. I mean, we could really use him today. For sure. He was Jack. He was Jack.
Starting point is 00:30:28 And by the way, is he the one he got shot? During a speech. And he finished the speech. Just kept going. Tough as it gets. And he wasn't born tough. No, he built himself that way. Born with asthma.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Yeah. Born brittle and weak and just made himself strong. Rough riders, dude. You have the Spanish-American War, dude. He's out there just fucking beasting it. I mean, when you read about it, you're like, yeah, it sounds like pageantry. brittle and weak and just made him small organs rough riders dude you have a spanish-american war dude he's out there just fucking i mean it kind of like when you read about it you're like yeah it sounds like pageantry but it is still badass he was very courageous but it was like bloodlust and like just like adventure lust like he was like i just want people to think i'm badass but he put his money where his mouth was yeah he's still wet charges yeah also what he did was kind
Starting point is 00:31:00 of like whatever western glorifies he took like the cool he took like native americans he took uh black dudes who were a ton of like black cowboys and just skilled horse riders and guys with weapons and he's like you're in it wasn't just like only white dudes or whatever he's like anyone who fucking can play let's go i want the most badass dudes from everywhere and we're gonna go fuck some shit exactly also he established national parks Yeah 230 million acres of land Beautiful Imagine if we didn't have that It would suck dude Yellowstone if we had a big Hilton going through there
Starting point is 00:31:33 More malls Put that AC though No I fucking love looking at big ass trees It's sick Waterfalls and shit 100% A strong man who has empathy For creatures and living things fucking love looking at big ass trees it's sick yeah waterfalls and shit it's 100 and dude a strong man who has empathy for creatures and living things like the the teddy bear did you
Starting point is 00:31:51 guys already discuss that the origin of that story where he didn't want to shoot this emaciated bear and he was moved to tears and then people kind of like made a teddy bear to make fun of him and he's like yeah who is he visiting yeah fuck yeah i will be a teddy bear i forget who it was who but like they knew he liked to hunt so they're like hey you get to kill those berries this thing's fucked up yeah exactly
Starting point is 00:32:07 they did like somebody give it a sandwich in like Game of Thrones when they're like the king will kill the steed but like all the hunters
Starting point is 00:32:13 just trap the steed and the king does I'll trust any man who has a soft spot for animals of course there's another one I'll just say
Starting point is 00:32:19 Ulysses S. Grant he's the the only time he like lost his temper was when he saw someone beating a horse yeah exactly you don't do that they're innocent he's the one. The only time he lost his temper was when he saw someone beating a horse. Yeah, exactly. You don't do that.
Starting point is 00:32:26 They're innocent. He's a good guy. You know what else I like about? To me, Teddy played the game the least with other politicians. Yeah. Like, he wanted to get this, I think it was called the Hepburn Act through to protect workers. And all the politicians were like, no, we're not doing that. So he just went straight to the people and was like, hey, they don't want to pass this, but this would help you.
Starting point is 00:32:42 What side are you guys on? And basically emotionally blackmailed politicians into getting on board. He took as much advice from intellectuals as he did from fellow people in his party. Love that. He went to their base and he was like, hey, your representative doesn't fucking...
Starting point is 00:32:55 Yeah. He's like, this guy's not looking out for you. I'll look out for you. And that's why the people trusted him. I'll end with a quote from him. Speak softly and carry a big stick you will go far yeah let your actions speak louder than your words and that was kind of his that was that was him on foreign policy yeah he that was where he was a little bit weaker too as he was
Starting point is 00:33:15 an expansionist like he wanted america to be a global superpower and he's like let's take over more countries panama canal was colonialism yeah yeah he was colonialist yes he was see the philippines who was little brown brothers he he had taft running the philippines for him and uh one president said that i remember it's a yikes taft was pretty magnanimous out there he wanted the philippines to be run by itself and the people there loved him but right but they still wanted us to have a foothold all over oh what do we should get into teddy backs up choose you know two terms backs out this is bad too appoints his successor one of his buddies taft but then he jumps back into the race yeah splits the ticket loses the election loses the election and came
Starting point is 00:33:56 back on a crazy ticket like he wanted to overthrow the judiciary basically he was like yeah like a decision that local courts make we can vote on it and get their decision rescinded which was like everyone was like you're gonna fuck up all a decision that local courts make, we can vote on it and get their decision rescinded, which was like, everyone was like, you're going to fuck up all of America. He was just like getting radical as fuck. And up to that point, everyone had stuck with the precedent of two and then you bounce. And then he tried to, but then he found himself pulled back in. He couldn't help it.
Starting point is 00:34:17 He wanted to get back in there. Is that when he made his bull moose party to do that? And he had a bad racial incident with the brownsville incident where he basically didn't give these black dudes a fair trial who were in the military and he disbanded three black companies of soldiers without just cause so he look he was a man of his times i think he was more progressive than other people of that era but it's still not where we want to be but for my money the number one teddy's the best why don't you take number one because dude lincoln is him link is the guy lincoln is because the moment it's the moment i Why don't you take him number one? Because, dude, Lincoln is him.
Starting point is 00:34:45 Lincoln's the guy. Lincoln is. Because the moment. It's the moment. I'm sure if Teddy would have been there, he would have handled it. But Lincoln's the right pick. All right. So it's my pick.
Starting point is 00:34:52 Go. Yeah. I got to go Obama, dude. Oh. Dude, you're going with. It's so interesting. I want a JFK or Obama because I want one of the hot guys. I'm taking the two hot guys. I'm all out of picks. He's the hot guys. I'm all out of pit.
Starting point is 00:35:06 He's the coolest president. And you're going mass charisma. That's what I'm saying. My list sort of had to evolve into this right here. I'm screwed. But it's sick because Obama, he's fucking cool, dude. The guy sinks threes. He smokes fucking – he fucking smokes darts. I fucking like that, dude.
Starting point is 00:35:21 First black president. Let's fucking go. Huge milestone. Huge progress for our country that elevates the office also he's very presidential like in our lifetime like just the way he talks like doing an impression of him is like so fun because just his his cadence unbelievable orator um you know he was picked from the get-go like this is the gonna be the dude you know went to high school in hawaii that's tight punahou school let's go and uh he fucking got osama dude dude he got some let's go
Starting point is 00:35:51 dude yeah dude he got some and i remember when i first saw him give a speech as a senator i think it was in like 2004 he gave a speech as a senator and i remember uh like song he was so magnetic yeah right i like turned to my dad I was like That guy's gonna be president I've had two great predictions In my life Obama was gonna be president
Starting point is 00:36:10 And Jared from Subway Was a bad guy Yes Yes Let's go dude I love that one You're batting a thousand I'm batting a thousand
Starting point is 00:36:16 Yeah So watch out And way different prediction Yeah Totally Totally Next time you have one Next time you have one Let next time you have one,
Starting point is 00:36:25 let me know because I'm going to put money on it. I'm going to bet the house on that, like, because I'll probably get good odds. Dude, freaking think.
Starting point is 00:36:31 Yeah. And you know how they say, yeah, and I'll find somebody. When you're a president, they go, he's the type of guy you'd want to have a beer with.
Starting point is 00:36:39 A lot of presidents aren't that type of guy. They're like, no, but honestly, yeah, if Obama wanted to have a beer, I'd be like, that'd be fucking cool, dude. And a gore. I don to have a beer i'd be like that'd be fucking cool dude and a gourd i don't even smoke i'd be like yeah let's
Starting point is 00:36:48 let's fucking choke let's just fucking cut the filters off that gourd let's go it feels it feels modern and like you know like like him doing the fucking bracket for the march madness was like this is shit there's the president he was our hippest press and i don't know how legit it was like he'd put out his songs of the year to be like Kendrick Lamar And I'm like does he really? He does dude I guess It's also like my favorite books And it's like Dude you read a fuckload
Starting point is 00:37:12 Yeah Dude yeah Dude a well read guy Maybe a little too much reading Maybe Was he pushing policy? Is that what people say about Obama? That he was an empty charismatic suit?
Starting point is 00:37:21 That he made us believe in something But he never delivered on those beliefs? Look ACA He Look, ACA. Maybe. He did the ACA. He did have a log jammed Congress. Not for a couple years. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:31 Could he have done more? Probably. What about drone strikes? Drone strikes? Drone strikes, not good. Bad. I don't know the deets. I don't know the dirty deets.
Starting point is 00:37:38 He expanded national security internally, like phones being listened to, all that stuff. Oh, yeah. I mean, we trusted him that he that was earlier patriot act was that was not liberals were basically we trust obama will kill the right people that was the bet with obama we're like we trust his judgment if he's killing them they probably deserve to die i'm like yeah that right with that red that red line in syria that was like a that was a foreign policy gaffe yeah the environment he is big on the environment no not big oh Not big enough.
Starting point is 00:38:05 Oh, he didn't do like protect drilling or fracking? He created like a global coalition, but it ended up falling apart and I don't know if it went far enough. Did the Paris Accord? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:13 I remember he was such a great president for tough times too. I remember during Sandy Hook, he had that tear. That was emotional. That was powerful. His public moments were incredible. Like after the, was it Charlleston shooting where he sang amazing grace like i know it's performative but
Starting point is 00:38:30 no it's nice you need that yeah it united the nation in a way yeah you know and it felt good when he was president like you never felt like he'd embarrass you you were like oh like every time he spoke you're like dude that's yeah he's a great statesman i don't know about his policy details but i'm like i like hearing him talk and representing us to everybody. People are saying that he's... So there's been a norm to where once you're done with your presidency, you move out of D.C. so that you don't influence stuff. And he said that he would, but then he was like, oh, my girls are still in school.
Starting point is 00:38:57 They've since graduated, so they're not going to school there. He hasn't moved. And there's some accusations floating around that he's still pulling strings during this yeah so a little little teddy roosevelt stuff yeah but like this is also like he's running they're very they're very these are very recent accusations so like you know we'll see we'll see what bears out in you know yes people are going to be people will be looking at this for like decades dude and his his post-presidential career just optically is rough like he's living in martha's vineyard he's throwing banging parties he's producing mediocre documentaries but the first one was good
Starting point is 00:39:34 the first one was good his daughter american factory was good his daughter's writing on a donald glover show like who are we they're smokingarts. I think he should be separate from the entertainment. There's something nice about the president that just goes away. When George Bush went and painted, it's like, yeah. He's doing non-profit shit that has like, there's no way to even
Starting point is 00:39:57 decide how this is political in any way. True. All Riz, no balls. He's got balls. Good husband. All Riz no balls. Whoa. No, he's got balls. Good husband. Good husband and family man. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:09 He's got balls. I believe him and Michelle have a nice, nice thing going on. I think they still kiss, which I think is very nice. But they're honest. They say they have tough years. They say they get upset at each other. Every marriage does. Does All Riz no cock?
Starting point is 00:40:19 Does that work better? All Riz no cock? No, I just don't think we... No. We don't want you impugning Barack's cock game because it feels belligerent and it feels like masculine yeah yeah yeah one thing i forgot to mention would you say that about a white president i'm kidding jfk for appointed the first uh black supreme court justice and had a baby while he was in office one fdr going back to his first cabinet let's go secretary of labor Let's go. Secretary of Labor.
Starting point is 00:40:45 Let's go. Supported suffrage. These guys made some good calls. I love it. Swing. All right, boys, who's up?
Starting point is 00:40:51 Bro, I got fucked, dude. You guys took all the good, I mean, Chad boned me hard when he took Teddy. I didn't even think about it.
Starting point is 00:40:57 Teddy's my number one if I wasn't drafting trying to win the draft. And now, I think we're in a different tier. I think my guy's the last guy in tier two. I'm just going to pick him. You know who it is.
Starting point is 00:41:09 You guys are all looking at your phones, but you all know who it is. You've got to do research. I get it. Yeah, I'm trying to figure it out. Thomas Jefferson. TJ. Yes, I get my two picks.
Starting point is 00:41:18 All right. Yes! I think Christopher Hitchens said it best when he is the author of America. Now he came up with the Declaration of Independence. He set the standard for what our ideology would be. And what we still try to uphold to this day was some, you know, concessions and changes. And ideologically, he was a beautiful man.
Starting point is 00:41:39 He had a beautiful vision. He believed in equality. He was upset when the other delegates took out a huge passage that was uh you know uh criticizing slavery but obviously he was the original liberal hypocrite yeah he was like for thee not for me he had slaves he didn't treat him well he's boning him he was making kids um i guess when his wife died she said never remarry so i kind of blame her for a lot of that that was a savage thing for her to say. It was.
Starting point is 00:42:07 And he was kind of like Barack. I think he felt like an intellectual president. Oh, yeah. He had a library, bro. I think he went in debt just shipping books from France to America. He made some bad deals. He's a bad businessman. He made some bad deals.
Starting point is 00:42:21 He did purchase Louisiana. But that was his best move. That was the sickest one. And he did that on a whim. He was just like, we got to do do this and he got us all that land and originally he intended to uh to uphold the treaties that the French had made with the indigenous people in those areas so they could still have their land but of course once white settlers got into there they didn't respect that I don't know if Jefferson was still president when that happened though because I think he was just on the Lois and Clark kick, but a brilliant, brilliant man.
Starting point is 00:42:45 And you want some scholars to come through the presidency. And for me, he's top of the heap, maybe the most intellectually and authorly gifted president we've ever had. Separation of church and state. Dude, big time. Huge. He was like, don't be putting religion into this thing.
Starting point is 00:43:01 He was big on those, like the liberal ideals, like freedom of speech, freedom of religion, all that stuff. He was big on those. Like the liberal ideals, like, you know, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, all that stuff. He was one of our hottest presidents. Yeah. And he wrote the Declaration.
Starting point is 00:43:10 Yeah. It's huge. Very sick. And he didn't write it what would Nick Cage steal? But it was pre-presidency. So do I still get points for it? For sure.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Yeah. I think so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because there wasn't even a country yet. That's what I think about the Founding Fathers is their stuff has to count because it created the thing.
Starting point is 00:43:28 Just like Teddy Roosevelt gets points for doing legs. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Yeah. I guess he was bad with the economy when England and France were fighting. Because that was going on for a while. And Washington was like, I'm just going to stay out of it. And people criticized that.
Starting point is 00:43:41 But Jefferson ended up creating a trade embargo where they wouldn't trade with either country because they were like taking over our ships dude our export economy went from 108 million to 22 million what a dumbass just double deal deal with them both they need shit he fucked he wasn't great yet they're in war then you get money all the time and like carmel said it's the economy stupid he fucked up there for sure he was very i remember a teacher of like really because like louisiana purchase like not something that like the president was supposed to be allowed to do but he's like let's see it's a golden opportunity like i gotta take it he's very pragmatic yeah you know he definitely had the things that he believed in but he wasn't afraid
Starting point is 00:44:15 to be like it just kind of makes sense i should probably do it which is i think that's a good that's good leadership you know what i mean like you can die on your hills and that's great but like and i respect that but like if you have to massage it a little bit to get things done like that's also great yeah sometimes you got to go above and beyond i mean like lincoln you know with uh limiting habeas corpus i mean these guys you know they're in the moment they can't always be the most moral they have to make decisions that they think will benefit the long term even if it's against their principles. Would he go to France? I heard something about how he'd just go to France a lot.
Starting point is 00:44:48 Yeah, well, he was a big-time Francophile. But not when he was president. Not when he was president? So he was ambassador to France after Benjamin Franklin. I think Teddy was the first president to leave the country while being president. Okay, gotcha. After Benjamin Franklin, he was ambassador to France, and a lot of that was during the Revolutionary War.
Starting point is 00:45:02 And he was always big. He was also the father he was pretty much him and then John Adams slash Alexander Hamilton like two party system. So we get to thank them for that. First time we had a contested election. We all love that.
Starting point is 00:45:16 You got two picks dude. I just want to make a quick correction. JT said Lois and Clark. Lois and Clark is Superman? Superman, yeah. That wasn't a mistake. Dean Cain, Terry Hatcher, shout out. Dude, Dean Cain.
Starting point is 00:45:32 Forgot about Dean Cain. That's your first mistake, dude. I never forget. Dude, he went to Ivy League school. I think Dean Cain went to Yale. Whoa. Smart guy. He could have been president. He wouldn't know it now. Played football at Yale, I think.
Starting point is 00:45:47 Let me look it up. Let's go. Yeah, this is taking a five-minute break to discuss Dean Cain and his filmography, which is... Princeton. Damn, dude. Same difference, dude. I was close, dude. All right. Chris, what do you got? Wait, are we taking a break? Oh, I was just joking about Dean Cain.
Starting point is 00:46:04 No, I was joking about Dean Cain. I was just joking about D10. No, I was joking about D10. I was going to rip an ad. Oh, yeah. That's all right. This is a capitalistic country because the president's been bad. For sure, for sure. Guys, we got to talk about boners. You guys have boners.
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Starting point is 00:47:20 Let's go, baby. I'm going with Harry S. Truman Good pick Alright Here we go dude Guy Big drop off from Washington For sure
Starting point is 00:47:31 For sure We're out of the romance phase One of like Like Again one of our only presidents To actually come from like Poor background Big
Starting point is 00:47:42 Grandparents were farmers Dad was a farmer From Missouri like poor background. Big. Grandparents were farmers. Dad was a farmer from Missouri. Integrated the army. Oh, dude, he wanted to fight in world. He was in his early 30s when World War I was going on, and he wanted to fight. So not a young buck. He memorized the eye chart Because he had
Starting point is 00:48:05 He had horrible vision He memorized it So that he could pass And get into the army dude Fucking patriot Wanted to serve his country Good move They use that in Space Cowboys
Starting point is 00:48:15 Donald Sutherland does that Oh yeah Bad move Became president Because you know FDR died in office Obviously dropped the bomb the bombs you know that's definitely it's controversial you know i'm not going to get into whether it had to be done or
Starting point is 00:48:32 not yeah go see oppenheimer oppenheimer he called oppenheimer a bitch too yeah he did he did oh yeah he's like get that bitch out of my office because oppenheimer came and was like i feel really bad about what i did he was like you feel The blood's on my hands, bitch. Yeah, exactly. Save it. What else was I going to say? Oh, dude. Everybody thought he was going to lose.
Starting point is 00:48:54 So basically, like, when he was running for re-election after he inherited the presidency, like, one guy in his party, like, went, like, way more liberal left. Another guy just went, like, race, like, left another guy just went like race like had like really weird race politics and was very white supremacist truman just got on a fucking train and just went all over the country and then he and then there's a famous picture of him holding up a newspaper that's after he's he was uh he was the underdog going into the election and he won and it's him holding up a newspaper that had the wrong headline you know they were printing in case because they thought he was going to lose what it says
Starting point is 00:49:28 dewey defeats truman and it's him like smiling being like i fucking won um you know was president during uh the korean war fired general mccarthy mccarthur which was a big deal because he was a big-time hero, but was also, at this point, I think was like a caricature of himself. Yeah, he wanted to be president too. Yeah, it was like a whole thing. Could have run again. Definitely would have been his party's nominee, but everybody hated him at the time.
Starting point is 00:49:58 His approval rating was low. So he stepped down. And he could have run again because they passed the amendment that you could only run, you could only serve two terms while he was president. So he was down. And he could have run again because they passed the amendment that you could only run, you could only serve two terms while he was president. So he was kind of great. That didn't apply to him. But he was like, you know what? I'm going to step back.
Starting point is 00:50:12 And it's kind of recent history where historians have kind of been like moving them up the rankings. Because at the time when he retired, everybody fucking hated him. But now people are like, solid dude. Didn't score high in the Riz department. No. Kind of the worst Riz. Like a bookish guy, cold to himself. Like, yeah, not. Didn't score high in the Riz department. No. Kind of the worst Riz. Like a bookish guy, cold to himself.
Starting point is 00:50:27 And FDR has all this Riz too. Yeah. But yeah. Tough time. I mean, he inherited a difficult time. Yeah. And he was VP because he was just like, nobody disliked him. He was like the vanilla pick for like, yeah, I guess.
Starting point is 00:50:39 Well, no, I don't like this guy because he does this. I did this. And they're like, well, Truman. And he's like, well, nobody's got a problem with him sure go for it but dude the dismissal of general macarthur he had to do that i like that dude yeah macarthur was being macarthur macarthur was like egomaniac he was egomaniac carter would show up like purposely show up late for meetings with the president to be like i'm the fucking man like this is he had a very i mean even during world war ii like the stories some of the shit was like and he was like the korean where he got us like dude we shouldn't have been in korea thanks ike
Starting point is 00:51:14 and uh he that we don't that's like the forgotten war no one talks about it we've lost way more soldiers than vietnam i mean it's really tragic and that was macarthur was like the main dude he did win a big battle at like Yichun or something like that. But then we got fucked by China. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:29 Well, wasn't that was the thing is that like he crossed into a certain part of the territory, which because they went beyond some part, that's what got China
Starting point is 00:51:37 into the war. And then that's when we lost a lot of dudes because it was, I think that's where like the 39th parallel comes from. That might be Vietnam.
Starting point is 00:51:44 I could be wrong, but yeah, whatever. No, you're right. Yeah. yeah all right next oh sorry i was gonna say could you could you also make the argument that the dropping of the bombs established like a long lasting peace i mean that's where the controversy comes in it's like why do they do they really have to do that um i mean yeah it's a whole big debate that's icky and a crazy road to go down yeah it's like 375 000 people eventually died and they did it twice yeah yeah it's heavy the second one is yeah the first one's really bad the second one is and they said it was more to about fighting the russians at that point yeah i'm just throwing a debate point oh. No, baby, it's huge.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Look, I have no idea. It's so hard to be like, it would have been bad. Defeating Japan. I don't know which one's worse. Hard to say. They're both really bad. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:42 And you know what? It sucks that we're the only country that's dropped a nuke but i'm also glad that there's only been one country that's done it yeah no more nukes dude i was watching like a youtube video i'm like this guy this like special effects guy was like showing like realistically what a nuclear explosion would look like like like the bombs at hiroshima and then what they have now like the h-bombs terrifying videos i've watched those did the sarabamba would take out la county like the blast radius would be like la county yeah it's fucking huge
Starting point is 00:53:17 maybe not la county but like you know downtown to palisades yeah and then the fallout days later and then they're like then they do like the timeline videos if you watch it and then it's like in two weeks like everyone's dead from like ventura to san diego or like yeah it has like radiation effects for generations it's like this is bad we gotta move somewhere lame dude just in case i don't know dude we all gotta go to idaho dude i was gonna say i'm sorry the bikini atolls yeah those are already fucked yes i'm just gonna move i'm just going to isolate. Actually, we're going to test this shit. Maybe those have come full circle now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:49 All right, my next pick is Lyndon B. Johnson. Ooh. Yeah. It was going to be my pick. It's not sexy, but when you just look at the nuts and bolts of what he got past, it's immense. Yeah, and his whole thing was that he was just like crazy fucking ambitious and would like just get his way no matter what like lie cheat steal or just be a really good like persuade and like do deals but like he was just like this dude there's like a really famous like four-part biography on him written by robert carroll that's supposed to be like the best fucking books ever
Starting point is 00:54:22 and it's just his whole entire career like his whole life and um i mean yeah just a fucking he came like texas guy he like fooled a lot of other like southern people in his party who were like oh he's kind of one of our guy but he's playing the game yeah so like we know that he's our guy but like let's keep pushing him forward pushing him forward because like he's really our guy but he just because he's like look guys i'm just i'm telling them what they want to hear and then when he finally gets in power he's like now fuck you guys i do what i want yeah and also he used he was um i think he was speaker of the house or maybe it was in the senate but either way he passed like a fuckload of legislation because he was a very competent and like one of the youngest speakers and like was super confident because like he was always
Starting point is 00:55:07 just like a very skilled politician but was also a big time like i said like would like lie cheat steal so he's very i guess i should say he was very effective an extremely effective man in everything that he did um great society voting rights Act passed a ton of shit lowered poverty helped people with early education I mean he was no Riz
Starting point is 00:55:30 but all biz is he the one who would thank you brother talk to his advisors on the shitter yeah he did he did a lot of like
Starting point is 00:55:39 yeah he took big dumps and I'm glad you brought that up because he was on that Texas diet and birdies to cook up some big dinners and homeboy would go all nine courses and then just be laying major cable in the toilet while also sending cables to the government to bomb vietnam yeah yeah he did
Starting point is 00:55:53 yeah hey how about those war crimes in cambodia though bro he was pretty heavy with that shit dude but uh he was a wild man with look wait was that him though or was that more nixon that was that was lbj lbj random to Nixon. Nixon got us in there, but LBJ, who was the... I thought Nixon was more like it was Kissinger and Nixon. Kissinger. Yeah. No, it was more Kissinger and LBJ for the Cambodian. Kissinger was with Nixon, I think. Well, he did both.
Starting point is 00:56:15 And then the Ho Chi Minh Trail. Both guys. I mean, probably both committed war crimes. But anyway, that's obviously me making a sick joke. But dude, how about the allegations of voter fraud early in his career? Oh, yeah, that's the thing. He stole elections. Oh, he did?
Starting point is 00:56:32 Yeah. He could be a very bad guy, but I kind of like his policies, so I'll deal with it. I made a lot of pull-out-your-dick jokes. He actually is known for pulling his dick out and going, have you ever seen anything this big? Yeah. That was a joke that he liked to do. He was a strider. You'll like this.
Starting point is 00:56:47 He was our tallest president, tallest, tallest president, pervert, pervert, pretty cool. Probably a number one pick. I remember this in this Chris Matthews books when he was like a,
Starting point is 00:56:59 a Senator or a Congressman, I don't know how he came up exactly, but he would uh where like all the politicians were like bunking or like doing like traveling road stuff together and he brushed his teeth three times that morning to meet people because he's like he went to the bathroom went to the bathroom to get more relationships and acted like he was just in there and just started but he's just wheeling and dealing just wheeling and dealing because he knew everyone was gonna be it seemed everybody, like the one thing about him
Starting point is 00:57:26 was that he was always doing shit. He was always making moves. I saw this quote where he says, the most important thing a man has to tell you is what he's not telling you. The most important thing he has to say is what he's trying not to say. And this is what he told staffers.
Starting point is 00:57:39 For that reason, he told them it was important to keep the man talking. The longer he talked, the more likely he was to let slip a hint of the vulnerability he was so anxious to conceal. Smart. So he'd just keep people talking, dude, until he figured out what they wanted. And then he could use that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:56 And he's tall. And he's fucking tall. He's fucking sick. All right. And he's got BJ's in his name. Yeah, that's true. That's fucking sick, dude. Yeah, that wasn't an accident. That's fucking sick. That's a big plus, dude. That is really tight name Yeah that's true That's fucking sick dude Yeah that wasn't an accident That's fucking sick
Starting point is 00:58:06 That's a big plus dude That is really tight Yeah they call me Lyndon BJ Let's go Dude He called that Taylor One time
Starting point is 00:58:12 And was like Can you keep the seam Away from a bung hole Oh Oh right Yeah what was the thing With the pants Famous phone call
Starting point is 00:58:19 I forgot about that Yeah what was that He's trying to fix Like make sure the pants The inseam in his pants was right or something. I think he's got a big hog. Potentially, yeah. Or saggy balls.
Starting point is 00:58:30 And then died shortly after office. I think Vietnam was pretty tough on him. He's another president who stepped away. Yeah, in 68 he was so unpopular he was like, I'm not even going to do this shit again. Yeah. That was a very trying time for the nation though. Right? Like civil rights was so unpopular. He was like, I'm not even going to do this shit again. That was a very trying time for the nation, though.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Civil rights was at its peak. You had the Chicago Democratic Convention where everything went nuts. Bad. I think it was a hard time to be present. And he was a little out of touch with it, too. Yeah. But I think a humble move, I think that shows. It's rare for them not to be like, no, I'm going to do this shit again.
Starting point is 00:59:04 Yeah, because you expect most politicians today, you accept no i'm gonna stay in there i think about that a lot like when i keep going for it if like like if i got revealed in some kind of controversy would i be like no i can get past this would i be like no i kind of deserve to get the boot dude even like the george santos guy still fucking yeah he's still hanging around what did he do oh he lied about where he went to college yeah yeah and then now they're and now yeah yeah and then i think most recently now they're like campaign finance uh shenanigans fuck well like he lied about campaign donations so he could get onto one thing i forgot to say about truman dude anti-colonial in a lot of ways he
Starting point is 00:59:42 was like after the war after world war ii he's like hey britain you gotta break all this shit up he's like and you owe us a lot of money and like well how are we gonna pay for it if we don't have our colonies that's not really my problem yeah so i'll fucking figure it out you're not you're not a superpower anymore stop dominating all these other countries and they had to nice love that i heard i heard he had no tact as well. Like, I heard when Bobby called him after JFK had been assassinated, or I heard when Lyndon called him, he just picked up and went, hey, your brother's dead, hung up. Brass tacks, guy.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Yeah. Bobby never forgave us. He kind of seems like kind of a bad guy. And I think he also said he was mad that people thought JFK was more of a coos hound than he was, and he would tell people, like, dude, I've fallen into more pussy than JFKk ever had hilarious dude bragging about that amazing bro me too big time oh for sure yeah like i said i think he was his wife had a nice marriage i don't know what that means in that time but i heard i know he loved birdie i wonder what his texts were
Starting point is 01:00:36 like oh dude his dms his letters we have like nixon's tapes of him just rambling and saying like incoherent racist misogynogynist stuff. Yeah, dude. He's like, women loved it. Women don't. I forget what he said about women, but it was the most basic thing. He's like, well, women don't raise their voice above a certain level, and his aides are like, they do. And then he's like, oh, interesting. He's just so out of touch.
Starting point is 01:00:59 He's like, that's never happened to me in my life. He sounds pretty open-minded to me. We were at the Culver City Council looking at all the mayors from the past. It's all the same dude. Hilarious, dude. It's the same white guy for centuries back. All these black and white photos, and you're just like, man, we were really running shit for a while there.
Starting point is 01:01:16 I'm half Latino, dude. Dude, so I think we were firmly out of tier two. I think that was the last tier two pick, and we are now in tier, I don't know much about these guys. But dude, I think I have found a diamond in obscurity. I think this guy is a different kind of president from the other ones I've mentioned,
Starting point is 01:01:38 but has his own charm that is very important when it comes to having a good vibe overall. I'm going with Jamesames monroe thank god damn it why who are you gonna take another james oh wait i'm taking the other james the other james is better the other james i don't think so okay okay but you know but go go go because i was you're talking about i'll say my picking a little bit you're talking about madison okay well baby why you gotta well because you're up next so i'm not blowing you i am gonna go i will blow you but i'm not blowing you i am but do monroe and then i'll do that well he was he was the president
Starting point is 01:02:09 in the era of good feeling that's like that's cool like he would travel the country he wasn't as intellectually powerful as jimmer's dumbass he was the last of the founding father presidents probably because he was dumb he was the last one to get the spot but the country was feeling good it was right after the war of 1812 vibes were high and he was like let's just keep the good feelings going and because of that he did kick some serious social issues the can down the road like he was the one who brought missouri into the union and came up with the three-fifths compromise and bad and like his solution for freed slaves was to move them to africa and that's why i think in liberia right now, there is a place called Monrovia. It's named after him.
Starting point is 01:02:46 So he was trying to come up with solutions, but they were all like non-conflict solutions. They were all like, oh, well, like, why don't we just throw you a party over here? Or yeah, you can come in the party, but like the numbers got to fit. So he was mostly,
Starting point is 01:02:58 I don't think he was ideological, but I think he was lucky and when he was president and he didn't meddle with that luck. He let the country rip while it was ripping and he just hung out. Also the last of the presidents to wear a tricorn hat. Whoa. Oh,
Starting point is 01:03:12 those are tight hats. I wonder if at the time, that was my save at the end there. Yeah. Well, I wonder if at the time it had gone out of style and he was still hanging on, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:03:20 And that might've been comforting to a lot of people, you know what I mean? That it's like, Oh, it kind of harkens back to the, like the older age, you know, where people still did that. But like, come on, we're wearing ball caps now.
Starting point is 01:03:29 Exactly. He also had the Monroe Doctrine, which is where he told Europe to just back the fuck up. He just told Europe, if you come into North America or South America, like, leave us to our business, bro. Right, because they were still trying to, you know. I mean, when did we get Florida? During him.
Starting point is 01:03:44 During him. So that was like, oh, dude, like European powers being like, oh, we get Florida? During him So that was like European powers being like Get the fuck out Wait was it during another president That we got Florida? We already had Florida but he had conflict in Florida A war broke out down there and he had to go down there
Starting point is 01:03:59 The Seminole Nation was starting to Fight with some of the The white imperialists Miami's in trouble? Did I march down there with them? nation was starting to uh fight with some of the uh the florida state the white imperialist miami's in trouble did i march down there um i'd braveheart that shit up i guess there was so i'm reading it as we speak so i don't know this stuff off the dome but what happened is i think andrew jackson was his general at the time and he misinterpreted the order from monroe yeah to like keep it chill and he just straight up invaded florida because i think that Jackson's way. You know, you got that bro,
Starting point is 01:04:25 you're like, hey, can you go talk to that guy the next thing you know the guy's in a headlock? Old hickory, he's like, no,
Starting point is 01:04:29 I'm going to do this my way. Was he President during World War 1812? No, I think that was Madison. That was Madison, right? And that's why
Starting point is 01:04:36 Schreider's all Jones and on his pick but I'm telling you, dude, dollars for donuts, dude. Monroe's stronger. Hey,
Starting point is 01:04:43 this is your list. Dude, I got the best way to undercut Madison on your ass when you picked Madison. I got you so good. Well, you already fucking blue balls me with my pick. What's up? I just wanted to know, what are your four picks? Oh, so far I got Lincoln, Jefferson, Monroe.
Starting point is 01:04:58 Washington, Truman, LBJ. That's strong. Nice. I got JFK, Obama, and now I'm going to go with James Madison. Dude, what are you, dude? I wanted to be like a white Republican from Orange County. Where are you from? Father of the Constitution.
Starting point is 01:05:14 Fuck, dude. Were you born on Martha's Vineyard? Fuck, dude. Did you go to Wesleyan, bro? Fuck, dude. You went to a liberal arts college in 2003. You don't to hit you? I went to a semester at CEDS. You don't even like sports, dude. Your list tells me no sports.
Starting point is 01:05:30 Oh, you were a sports ball guy? Wait, wait, wait. Did you see that guy you picked up is going to be the second string guy? Fuck, yeah, I did. He doesn't care about that dude. Hey, hey, look at his list. He's trying to make fun of me.
Starting point is 01:05:44 Don't make me fight a front on multiple planes with fantasy. Can I just pick a pick? I just wanted to make sure. Go perform in a Harold Pinter play. Can I pick a pick, man? Do the people want to hear about James Madison? Can the floor be yielded to the man from not Orange County or whatever? Go, baby, go.
Starting point is 01:06:00 It's all you. I'm actually bending. Please have my back. I'm actually bending and I'm going to go Speaker of the House, Tip O'Neill. No, dude. Whoa! I'm going James Madison, president during the War of 1812. Now, look, a knock against him, he had to flee the White House.
Starting point is 01:06:14 Him and his wife, Dolly, had to flee the White House. Also, this is a pick you because it was getting burned by the British. We're about to burn this shit down. But, hey, he was the first one to fucking send the Marines to the shores of Tripoli, dude. Let's fucking go. Really? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:29 That's where the song comes from. That's part of the War of 1812. Same Tripoli? But Jefferson had sent Navy out to Tripoli as well. He's saying Marines. Oh, okay. Jefferson, that was the Barbary Wars. Jefferson did a big job.
Starting point is 01:06:42 He didn't want to pay off the pirates. He's like, let's just fight them. And a lot of those governments, also this ties into Madison a lot of european powers would do bribes they would work in bribes they'd go hey we'll help you out but just pay us a ton of money yeah we were developing nations that take advantage of us absolutely something i read today we'd go fuck you bro 100 and and and madison said fuck you bro no no no uh anyway he said a lot of fuck you, bro. No, no, no, no. Anyway, he said a lot of fuck you, bros. Fought the British.
Starting point is 01:07:10 Dude won the war. So he won a war for America. Big foreign, you know, first, not the first foreign war, but technically the first, you know, British try to come back over and take back what they thought was theirs. He said, fuck you, dude. Get out of our house, bro. Click clack. He probably wore Under Armour.
Starting point is 01:07:25 That's tight. He probably wore Under Armour. That's tight. He probably wore a small size because he was the tiniest president. That's why I was going to say 500, 400 pounds, bro. There we go. Oh, little wee man. Barely a president, dude. But here's the thing. What I love about him is he was a man of action.
Starting point is 01:07:41 He was a tiny man of action. In platforms. He took his time. I know a guy like that. And then he'd come in, dude. He'd fucking write these great. He was huge for the Federalist Papers. He was the other guy to write In platforms He took his time I know a guy like that And then he'd come in dude He'd fucking write these great He was huge for the Federalist Papers He was the other guy to write them He wrote some good stuff
Starting point is 01:07:49 He wrote a lot of good shit Bill of Rights? Bro Yes 5'4 100 pounds dude And he's known as This is a great sleeper pic The father of the Constitution
Starting point is 01:07:59 What our whole country's built on He fucking inked it He's the father of it And the amendments Which are the Bill of Rights, which was the first amendments, first 10 were James Madison. So he's a man of principle, what our country's supposed to be founded on, where someone goes, that's unconstitutional or not.
Starting point is 01:08:14 This is the fucking guy. They say he was the most level-headed of all the senators at the Continental Congress or whatever the fuck it was, those representatives. He was the most level-headed. He was just known as being a fucking pragmatic baller dude so i love him for that um yeah so he was fucking sick dude and look he married a woman uh who was a widower you know her wife died his her husband died of like yellow fever or something like that and he goes come here baby let little Let this short king take care of you. He's the short king.
Starting point is 01:08:46 He's the short king. So I love that. So he's a beast, dude. That's sick. Happy to get him there. Very happy to get him there. My list really needed it. I like that.
Starting point is 01:08:54 That was a nice one. Good pick, dude. That was a nice spiel. Do I have some dirt on this guy? Dude, he owns... But dude, he owns slaves? He did. Yeah, all those guys did yeah not good bad i guess if they all did it it's okay then right bro hey you know washington jumped off a bridge i'm following her he's the commander in the chief dude let's go following him all right
Starting point is 01:09:17 uh great pick okay he dropped no nukes there were no nukes at his time but truman did what he needed to do he got the job done okay my team's the best i'll stand by it okay all right daddy okay so i i gotta go with a founding father and i gotta go with this guy invented electricity it's benjamin franklin i'm just kidding i love that bend dude my bro. Dude, my face, I was like, whoa. No, I'm going with John Adams. Paul Giamatti. And we're done. Yeah, you're good.
Starting point is 01:09:55 Next one. Next thing. Dude, sick diplomacy. He avoided a full-scale war with France. He prioritized diplomacy. He's a founding father played a vital role in the drafting of the Massachusetts Constitution which served as a model for the US Constitution. He's very committed to independence staunch advocate for American independence. Defense of the
Starting point is 01:10:19 Constitution. Yeah basically I'm picking him for his establishment in defense of the Constitution, which is huge, and avoid the war with France. And Paul Giamatti played him, which is probably the biggest thing he's got going for him. And there's an HBO show about him. Or was it? Yeah, a miniseries on HBO. I only remember when Laura Linney's, when his wife dies.
Starting point is 01:10:48 It was just a preview for the episode. I never actually watched it because it looked. It was fucking, I heard it was a snoozer. Dude, but he wrote a lot of love letters. Like you were saying, we have Nixon on these tapes. We have love letters between him and his wife, which are very romantic. They've published them so they're good
Starting point is 01:11:06 you know I like the romance between his ladies but hey bro what about that alien act though bro oh fuck dude what about that dude yeah the alien act
Starting point is 01:11:12 what about that that's where he literally wanted to pass a law where if you didn't support the government or you were from somewhere else that we didn't like
Starting point is 01:11:20 they could kick you out dude he's a man of the times I mean he just established independence from Britain, and he's like, look. Washington did that. No dissent. My pick.
Starting point is 01:11:31 He served one term, right? He lost in the second one? Yeah, he served one term. People must have loved him. But he was also a beast in, what movie is it? Amistad. He actually played a beast role. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:11:43 Is that John Quincy? That's John Quincy, I believe. Oh, John Quincy. That's a good one, yeah. But yeah. Related. He's a beast. Relations, but not that guy.
Starting point is 01:11:51 He's a founding father. That's all I got. My next pick... Just Googling, is John Adams a bitch? And then somebody's... I don't know if... I can't fact check this
Starting point is 01:11:59 because it was Reddit, but apparently people called him his rotundity. Whoa. Oh. What is rot... I think it means he's cherubic. He's a big boy? I think they were saying he was shaped like a bowling ball. Dude.
Starting point is 01:12:12 Okay, my next pick. Sorry, I'm trying to sandbag you. This is probably going to lose. You gotta sandbag. You gotta sandbag. This port in the draft will be sandbagged, dude. Yeah. Clubs are off. Let's go, dude. This is probably going to put
Starting point is 01:12:26 the nail in the coffin for my draft. No, don't talk like that. I think it is because I'm going with Captain Riz himself, the great communicator. I'm going with Ronald Reagan. Oh, I mean, bro.
Starting point is 01:12:37 I can't believe we're still on the list. I think it's a solid pick. Look, I'm not saying he's a solid president, but it's a solid pick. Captain Riz, dude, he's the governor of California.
Starting point is 01:12:50 Freaking ended the Cold War. Tear that that wall down i was gonna pick him i i might have picked him next i mean but it's like all the details i wrote for him are like negative things but still sick yeah yeah i mean the the war on drugs is is bad um but i mean don't worry dude we're about to win yeah let's go dude i don't know i mean and we're getting into modern stuff so it's gonna get spicier that's the trouble with the modern dudes i mean reaganomics you can say what you want about but the 80s down bro yeah the 80s look pretty sick to me yeah the 80s look pretty culturally it was pretty awesome i was thinking about that right after a great i mean right after really really bad country debt, which, you know,
Starting point is 01:13:26 because of Reaganomics, but whatever. He put us in the worst recession since the Great Depression. But he wasn't around for it, so, you know, good on him. He's smart. He's smart.
Starting point is 01:13:35 I think initially he was there. We're going to have a good time right now. That's what he said. Yeah. I love that. He got taxes cut by $750 billion over five years by cutting social programs
Starting point is 01:13:44 and letting the rich have more. He cut welfare by $750 billion over five years by cutting social programs and letting the rich have more. He cut welfare by $25 billion. He also made it legal for pharmaceutical companies to do advertisements on TV. So now you know when you get a commercial for Lunessa. Huge increase in defense spending. $1 trillion over five years, including the Star Wars defense. The Star Wars defense, dude. Pharmaceuticals.
Starting point is 01:14:01 I was watching a commercial earlier today I saw where it's's like don't take it if you're allergic to this I love that they have to say that yeah it must have been Iran-Contra Iran-Contra Iran-Contra yeah oh wait no
Starting point is 01:14:12 Barry Barry Seale was killed during Clinton or Bush the guy who's in the American Made American Made movie
Starting point is 01:14:20 I think that's the 80s so I'm not sure yeah oh no you saw Bill Clinton when he was governor of Arkansas right so it was either I think that's the 80s. So I'm not sure. Yeah. Oh, no, you saw Bill Clinton when he was governor of Arkansas. Right. So it was either...
Starting point is 01:14:27 I think it was Reagan. But I mean, dude, it's like super to keep it off the books. Let's sell weapons to Iran and then give them to the Sandinistas in El Salvador. Like, yeah, that's a pretty savage move.
Starting point is 01:14:36 Yeah. And like, let's not really have any control so that if those guns end up going towards... If nothing else, dude, it's sad. If those guns end up going towards cartels, like, no big deal because, because we're going to figure
Starting point is 01:14:45 it out. But dude, here's the thing, man. But dude, it's a good pick. I'm serious. Mr. Gorbachev, tear down that wall. That is so sick. Tear down that wall. And also, you look at the history. Take it down. It feels like 90% of conservative politicians are trying to harken back to
Starting point is 01:15:02 Reagan. Yes. So it's like their whole thing is like, I'm just gonna do what Reagan did. Well, he got the agenda done. He got it across. Very influential. You gotta give him that. I've watched an interview with him on Tonight Show. It's just fucking... Well, he's an actor.
Starting point is 01:15:17 And he was the head of SAG. And I think during the McCarthy Red Scare, he was ratting on his fellow actors who were communists dude savage yeah dude he's a savage dude
Starting point is 01:15:28 he was whispering in the ear of the government he's like oh you know like Errol Flynn he's a boss actor but guess what dude he supports welfare
Starting point is 01:15:37 not bad can't do that he got shot and lived tried to get assassinated lived who was it Sirhan Sirhan
Starting point is 01:15:43 is that right who tried to get him John Hinckley Jr. oh beast beast for sure who was sirhan sir that was jody foster i mean dude i think yeah reagan was in the hospital for 12 days that bullet was like an inch from his uh his heart and he but he had no heart so it didn't matter dude they went they wanted to put him on a uh stretcher but he's like, I'm the president. And he walked in. Oh, let's fucking go, dude. And I mean, rosy cheeks. He said the most terrifying words in the English language are, I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
Starting point is 01:16:13 Ooh, smart. He handled the challenger thing well. That's such a good, because you could still say that. He handled crisis well, like the challenger explosion. Yeah. He had a great sense of the moment. Very presidential. yeah he's like that was he he had a great sense of the moment very presidential and uh you know a hollywood guy governor of california you know he lived down the street uh from my parents in
Starting point is 01:16:32 the 70s oh hell yeah dude on top of that i heard nancy gave good dome whoa he didn't help people who had aids it's so sick how many times we've talked about getting dumb. I fucking love dumb, dude. What were you saying? He didn't help people who had AIDS. Right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's bad, yes. He didn't say, I don't think he said the phrase AIDS out loud for like four years into his presidency.
Starting point is 01:16:57 Five, yeah. Probably because he focus grouped it and he's like, if you say it, they'll relate it to you. So don't even say it. Probably because he was a bad guy. Oh, yeah, I met Nicaragua, not El Salvador. But yeah him and him and nancy wait him and nancy good marriage yeah nancy reagan people are so mean i've gotten her door at the valet before i think they're right though okay is it my turn uh yeah i'm gonna go with ulysses s grant whoa yeah i'm gonna go back um he ratified the 15th amendment which gave black people the right to vote which is fucking sick Ulysses S. Grant. Whoa. Yeah, I'm going to go back.
Starting point is 01:17:27 He ratified the 15th Amendment, which gave black people the right to vote, which is fucking sick. He was also our general for doing pre-war stuff. I want a general on this list. I want a general. He was the fucking general
Starting point is 01:17:37 of the Union Army. He fucking drank whiskey. He was a disheveled guy. Some might say an alcoholic. A huge alcoholic. He was an alcoholic. Yeah, alcoholic. He was an alcoholic. Yeah, you've got to be an alcoholic. He's seen some shit.
Starting point is 01:17:48 If you're in the Civil War, you've got to be an alcoholic. Yeah. He sent thousands and thousands of boys to die. A hundred percent. Yeah, dude, making tough calls as a general. And then he follows up Lincoln. Actually, not really. He's Johnson.
Starting point is 01:18:01 But then came in and, yeah yeah ratified the 15th amendment and domestic terrorists he would try to go out and get people that were in the clan he tried to like pass legislation against limiting their activities so he tried to do a lot of good dude and he he was the overseer of reconstruction of the union so lincoln didn't get to do it he's a great fucking pick i gotta go next best thing here I wanted a president from this era He's got a sick beard Which is tight
Starting point is 01:18:30 I wanted a guy who holds a saber That's tight Let's see if I can get some more cold hard facts for you here Looks good on the 50 Bro When you get slapped a 50 that's pretty tight 50 is rare That was a good pick, dude.
Starting point is 01:18:46 Respect. Thank you, dude. I like the story about him with the guy beating the horse. He's like, that's why I lost my temper. And you got to give him a lot of points. We don't win the Civil War without him. So as much as it's Lincoln, it's also Grant. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:18:58 And if we're using the same metric where if they did it in service of the nation, they still get points for it in their presidential evaluation, then boom, dude, Grant's one of the heaviest hitters i appreciate he overcame alcoholism that's a tough battle to fight this guy was waging more wars on multiple planes here internally externally so very difficult but uh it was really uh was like destitute towards the end of his life but then but then wrote an autobiography i thought yes he lost it all that's correct facts dog yeah he did and somebody was like you should write a book about it he's always a great author towards the end of his life, but then wrote an autobiography. Yes, he lost it all. That's correct. Bring the facts, dog. Yeah, he did. And somebody was like,
Starting point is 01:19:27 you should write a book about it. No, it was a great author. It might have been like Mark Twain. It might have been a huge author. Oh, really? Yeah, Mark Twain did. Yeah, I think it was a huge author. And yeah, that's great.
Starting point is 01:19:37 And he's like, dude, he fucking went from, I guess, riches to rags. And like, yeah, man, he's named after fucking Ulysses. It was tough. I'm trying to remember when they established a pension for presidents. It might have actually been to rags and like yeah man he's named after fucking ulysses it was tough it was tough because it i don't i'm trying to remember when they established a pension for presidents it might have actually
Starting point is 01:19:49 been during truman and i but i read it somewhere where like they thought like that this that like one of the presidents was like gonna be down on his luck and then when they dug into it then so they established the pension uh but it was like fairly recently and then when they actually did it's like oh no he actually got Really rich during presidency And then I guess we didn't Who knows how he did that but okay I'm glad we got a pension now Oh dude
Starting point is 01:20:15 Sick ass tomb too Oh really? In New York Oh I didn't know that Grant's tomb or something Sick ass tomb Oh yeah I'm gonna check it out I didn't know that. Yeah. The Grant's Tomb or something? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Sick-ass tomb. Oh, yeah. I'm going to check it out.
Starting point is 01:20:28 Bro, am I up? Yeah. All right. Let's just go there, dude. Let's just go there. Is he going to do all of this? Because I think recent, there's a, the more recent guys, there's a morality clause that we know.
Starting point is 01:20:45 We know a lot about them and we know if they're scumbags. And this guy in poll results over how good of a president he was has been just tumbling down the list. Because we know, I think with a lot of backup, he's a bad dude. He's a bad guy. He doesn't care about people. He cares about himself. Or maybe he cares about people guy. He doesn't care about people. He cares about himself. Or maybe he cares about people macro. He doesn't care about people micro. But as one of his aides said, and I don't mean to be cynical, it's about the economy, stupid. And this guy reigned over the
Starting point is 01:21:16 greatest economic prosperity in America for 120 months. He came in with a $200 billion deficit left with $120 billion surplus. Now, did those policies down road lead to the financial struggles that we're in today? Did those free trade agreements take out our manufacturing jobs and hurt Americans? Maybe, but you cannot say that when he was there, it wasn't banging. Peace and money were flowing.
Starting point is 01:21:37 I'm going with Bill Clinton. Master is, dude, master is. Top BJ getter on the list. People don't even want to talk about the Riz anymore. We know he's such a bad guy list people don't even want to talk about the reason anymore we know he's such a bad guy we don't even want to talk about the riz but i've been watching clips of him lately i just watched a documentary about stefanopoulos and carvel and i've watched primary colors again like his aids dude the guy could bring it he sounded like an ordinary dude but he had a high power brain and he could sling those words dude of any
Starting point is 01:22:01 i think of anyone people always cite him top of the list for riz like yeah he's the guy who makes you feel like the only person in the room plays sax it's sexy yeah he plays the sax he plays the sax and like and like like impregnated underage chick yeah slept with an intern while he was president and then whenever he goes up there people go god damn it looks great he was sleeping with women who were less attractive than Hillary. Like it's clear the guy is a dog chasing his dick around all the time. But everybody forgives him because he's just so cool. And policy-wise, a lot of it was set the ground for what came later.
Starting point is 01:22:37 Like healthcare, he was the first one to put that on the radar. They tried to push that through during his presidency. He was like, hey, we're the only first world power that doesn't have it covered like every other country and then look he did things too he increased the police state you know he he did have a lot of domestic terrorism terrorists during his time which is kind of crazy it was like waco ruby ridge mcveigh were all during him which is like that's an accident of the time i'm not no i know but i'm saying like if he increased the police state like it might have been in response to a lot of domestic terrorism that happened during his terms.
Starting point is 01:23:09 Yeah, and so he built up jails. Incarceration was higher when he was in there, so he wasn't looking out for people that way. Probably too much punitive punishment on drug offenders. But the economy was booming, and we weren't fighting that many people. No, yeah, no foreign wars. Just Somalia, Black Hawk Down.
Starting point is 01:23:25 A couple skirmishes, but he never went full on with it. That's normal. That's always going on. And he's the only one to have a public kill list. He's probably murdered people. He's probably been to Epstein's Island. Probably. Of all the people who were like, maybe he did it,
Starting point is 01:23:41 I'm like, don't even tell me. Don't even tell me, dude't even tell me dude his his election an independent got almost 20 of the popular vote was it uh ross perot yeah ross perot perot like people like they've gone back and analyzed them like it probably didn't really matter because he was kind of spread out he didn't win any electoral votes but like just kind of interesting was he going against bob dole is that who yeah he does duh old people lose elections is what that stands for i heard a magician make that joke in 97 yeah yeah balance the budget three times dude bro he was a killer and the guy away with words we don't talk about it because you know we and also obama came along who was more i think
Starting point is 01:24:20 magnanimous and more what you picture as like a heroic leader but clinton in his time was like the original you know spinner he had a way with words that is tough to match and he's still i was listening to him talk about some contemporary conflicts i'm like man he's still sharp yeah like he gets it some of the financial deregulation he did a lot of people connect that to the financial crisis i think he might have said they say you can't judge a president's like policies economically until eight years later and by that standard that's like when the financial crisis happened but i'm saying during his time yeah for sure who was it years before him i'm just doing i'm just doing the regular the regular sandbag guy dude yeah this rosy cheek bastard he's a pragmatist i believe he was a pragmatist. Alright, he's up. It's my last one.
Starting point is 01:25:05 Take us home, baby. I'm torn because there's one that's older but it's not very sexy but it is kind of cool because like... Go with your heart. But I kind of want to go with somebody who just culturally is better even though his presidency
Starting point is 01:25:21 ended in absolute disgrace. I don't know who you're talking about. I think I might know who you mean. Oh, fuck! Nixon was realistic. He's a good pres. It was between James K. Polk, who I appreciate. No, Polk's the guy.
Starting point is 01:25:39 Polk annexed Texas, California. Oregon. He got us Oregon. He got us California? Yeah. And you know what he did that no president does? He said, here's what I'm going to do. And then he came in and he fucking did it. One term. One term president.
Starting point is 01:25:52 He's a him. And he's a him. He knocked out all of his campaign objectives. And then he said, and I'm out. Let's go. Okay. Baleski, bro. But I kind of still want to pick Nixon because it's fun.
Starting point is 01:26:03 The name recognition is stronger with nixon but like dude all right i'll go polk i'll go polk but you're co-signing a lot of awfulness with nix yeah all right i'll go polk because like yeah he gave us a fuck and like nixon's just like china do you know what's interesting but yeah but that was sick but that was sick it was tight yeah and he ended vietnam and he ended vietnam but started and we got to the moon and you were off on your cambo it was nixon you're right yeah yeah it was kissinger and nixon all right i'll go james all right so yeah check it out yeah we're both wrong it wasn't it wasn't kennedy he got in a And we got to the moon when he was there. And you were off on your Cambodians. Oh, it was Nixon. You're right. Yeah. It was Kissinger and Nixon. All right. I'll go James. All right.
Starting point is 01:26:26 So yeah, check it out. We were both wrong. I wasn't Kennedy. He got in a war with Mexico and there was a big controversy at the time. Actually, Lincoln was like, where were those shots fired? Where were those shots? Because apparently they crossed the line and fired and then which gave us the reason to go reason to go to war but then people were like oh that was kind of shady did we actually start it so that we could get texas and uh lincoln was in congress at the time and was and like was hammering that because he was on the other part show me
Starting point is 01:26:56 where the blood dropped yes exactly like show me like he would say that all the time um but either way dude it might have been unjust but we went to war with Mexico, we won and we said, Texas, that's totally our hat now. That's our shit. Then yeah. But here's the thing, bro. Like, let's get real, real about it. Fucked up. But are we all happy it happened 200 years later? Yeah. And now Texas is part of the union. Yeah. And then yeah, Arizona, California. You guys aren't even going to co-sign that, bro? No, we're happy about it. We need Texas, dude. Dude, the best barbie dude. We all want Texas to be part of something else, dude.
Starting point is 01:27:29 I like Texas. Texas, I think, wants to be part of something else, to be honest. Yeah, they do. Well, they do that thing where the little, you know, like Texas, whatever. It's annoying, but, you know, it's nice having them. Cowboys are sick. I love watching them lose, dude. It's the best.
Starting point is 01:27:43 Dude, Niners. Enjoy the shit out of that on Sunday. Niners, boys. Ooh, baby. James K. Polk, only person to serve as both Speaker of the House and U.S. President. Love that. So then I guess I must have misspoke early when Lyndon Johnson must have been in the Senate. Yeah, Lyndon Johnson was in the Senate, but Ford was Speaker of the House.
Starting point is 01:28:02 And he became President. Oh, Ford. He was the only unelected. Who fell down a lot. He's most famous for that on Saturday Night Live. Even though he played football at Michigan. So he was an athlete. And a good player. He was Packers and I think another team
Starting point is 01:28:15 Vikings maybe wanted to sign him. Lions and Packers. You're all about height. Yeah, I'm the shortest President though. That's what I'm saying though. Did you fuck up? Or did you, you know, Yeah, I mean I'm the shortest president though That's what I'm saying though What happened? To betrayal your values Did you fuck up? Or did you, you know
Starting point is 01:28:27 Had to go with him Or did you grow as a person? Even though you went shorter in height Fuck, man, that's tough You guys took such All the good tall guys, man So many good tall guys How big was Polk?
Starting point is 01:28:38 I feel like he's at least six foot Six nine, dude Dude, let's go Yeah Six nine, 240, bro He's a rodeo guy, dude Those rodeo guys are big boys
Starting point is 01:28:46 should we talk about Nixon dude yes go Nixon or should we do another should we do three more rounds no
Starting point is 01:28:52 dude it'd be nice if I because then I got to pick again which would be sick instead of I'd be good to pick the top of a round
Starting point is 01:28:58 yeah over Cleveland the first time dude the Van Buren boys dude Nixon established Earth Day and the EPA. And he's from Whittier.
Starting point is 01:29:08 Went to Whittier College. I do love that he's a SoCal boy. He's a SoCal boy. He went to Whittier College? What? Yeah. And then he went to Duke for law or something. And you know, him and Kennedy actually,
Starting point is 01:29:18 before they were both like really in the public, I kind of got along. Like they had a famous, famous like historically, they went on train ride together. I don't know how it's not a play yet just those two talking policy the whole way home but supposedly he hated the kennedys well i think he hated like that they came from money because i think i think he resented the way the public perceived them because he was like no one loved him i heard a george will the politics right he's like nixon was ill-suited for politics
Starting point is 01:29:42 because he hated people oh interesting like you gotta love like clinton loved to bullshit with people and be like i want you to like me nixon was like you're scum you're a rat i got a rat fuck that rat he was paranoid he was a paranoid lunatic yeah so was kiss that's that's like the watergate thing like the great irony is that he won every state except for like two in 72 and like he was buying on people worried about it and it's like dude you were you were you were about to win in a landslide like and you're fucking losing your mind about it but yeah super paranoid great on foreign policy kind of like that's where he just made his money it's what he liked to do might have the sickest picture ever as a president of just
Starting point is 01:30:21 him throwing deuces getting on the plane saying later i am not a crook legendary dude people are bummed we didn't take jimmy carter yeah jimmy carter's cool good vibes he's a little bit like a monroe pick where you're like he'd be nice to just be homies with yeah yeah hannibal burris said he saw him at 90 on an airplane still shaking everybody's hands let's go that's sick but dude a one-termer bro yeah he was like a washington outsider though he's like a Washington outsider, though. He was like a peanut farmer. Man from the plains. Big military guy,
Starting point is 01:30:49 gave up his career to come back and, you know, go take, his father fell ill. Big on building houses for the poor. Nobody took, but he didn't bring back
Starting point is 01:30:55 our hostages from Iran. Oh, that was Reagan credit. But I guess people say Carter negotiated and then Reagan got the credit for it because of timing. But I give the credit to Reagan. It happens when it happens, bro.
Starting point is 01:31:04 Yeah. Respect. Alright, what do we do now? I mean, nobody took Eisenhower. He was at the top of a lot of lists. I wanted him. I read about him and then I was like, he didn't... And he gave a great speech on the military-industrial complex, but he didn't do a ton
Starting point is 01:31:17 when he was president. Right. And he kind of let McCarthy run wild with the red scare shit. That bummed me out. He did a lot of stuff about border stuff, too, that was kind of bad. Not borders, but he wanted to deport people and get rid of. Yeah. Yeah, I don't like that. Trump.
Starting point is 01:31:36 But he built a lot of highways, though, bro. He built highways, dude. Ike, give us some freeways, dude. Yeah. Trump was, look, it's going to be nice in like 50 years when like you just still see memes of trump just saying shit like they're too bright turn them on like he's just like he's just so funny dude and like comedic gold yeah exactly like dude at least we got that that's something you know like that's not that's that's something for as far as entertainment value goes like yeah
Starting point is 01:32:05 through the roof he's hard he's like impossible to measure because no one even knows what his policies are because the personality was so expansive yeah like he's so and like presidents who were like i will never comment on another president while they're in the presidency he upset the status quo so much that presidents started doing that like he just is such a grenade into everything that i don't think we'll know what it was and for a century yeah you know what though like he doesn't make arguments for it was like i don't like like he was he was on china like hey this is our rival we like if anything like a lot of the stuff that biden i think has been more effective at are a lot of likeations of at least where Trump was directionally going the right way.
Starting point is 01:32:48 But then there's also shit where I don't think he was directionally going the right way. But I should give him a little bit of credit for that. And I just don't think he's competent as a politician. Whereas Biden has a little bit more experience in that arena. So I feel like he's actually doing things. And the people that are pulling the strings for Biden, at least he'll follow along. Yeah, because there's no way Biden's coming up with the agenda.
Starting point is 01:33:11 Someone's telling him what to do. Who was Putin's, or not Putin, Trump's Rasputin guy, Steve Bannon? Steve Bannon. Yeah, Trump would stop listening to Steve Bannon. Right, and then Steve Bannon was like, fuck this dude, I can probably do more outside of all this it's easier for me to influence people
Starting point is 01:33:28 I'm going to throw just a notable moment because I think George W. Bush pre-Iraq war 9-11 huge presidential moment oh when he threw the the heater at the baseball game he threw a good pitch, bro.
Starting point is 01:33:45 He's like, I hear you, and they're going to be hearing from us very soon. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah, he was. And they did. It was crazy how much the nation united behind him. Like, his approval ratings after 9-11 were through the roof. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:33:58 And then we saw what he did, and we were like, this is going bad. Yeah, this is exactly. Yeah. Wait a second. Huh. Well, in terms of. Saddam's got nukes. Let's get them. Two wars that ended as bad as they can end.
Starting point is 01:34:14 And then the financial crisis. And then the Patriot Act. A lot of bad stuff. But that month of September 2001, he was cooking. He was cooking.
Starting point is 01:34:26 It was a couple of years where it was like, you know. Also, it took us a while to figure out that we probably shouldn't have gone to war. It took us a long time. Also, he seemed like a nice guy. Well, that's it. Pretty high at the top of my I would want to get a beer with him is George Bush. That's what people say. People say he's like the top of the guy. But the irony is he doesn't drink.
Starting point is 01:34:49 No, he never drank. I think he's a sober guy. I think he was an alcoholic in college. Which is cool. I'll burn a joint with him or something. Burn a joint. I'll have him show me his art. Oh, really?
Starting point is 01:35:04 Taff was a beast athlete when he was younger. He could, like, I think wrestle. But he didn't have the spirit of it. Taff actually had a really good agenda, but he wasn't well-suited to be president. He wanted to be on the Supreme Court. That was more his gig. He was a sensitive gentleman.
Starting point is 01:35:18 A big, softy. A big, soft man. Dude, Calvin Coolidge. Was that the fat guy? someone said LOL USA would have rallied around a golden retriever after 9-11 yeah yeah that's a good idea who did they say the worst president is we had a golden retriever president we were all like
Starting point is 01:35:36 go lucky dude air bud dude let's fucking air bud where we going next bro we talked about John Quincy Adams from Amistad because he's in Amistad. He was part of that case. After losing, he ran for a second term lost. Ran for Congress, dude.
Starting point is 01:35:52 Served as a congressman. Only president to do that. I love that. And that's when he was sitting on there. Real deal public servant. Exactly. Just like, oh, I lost the big job. That doesn't mean I'm just going to get out of politics.
Starting point is 01:36:03 I still want to make a difference. I still love my country. Bang. Let's go. All right. Do we kick it over? Oh, bro, you know what I just realized? I'm psyched on my list because I think my list is the most morally dubious.
Starting point is 01:36:14 Well, that's... Aaron, give us the... All right, Aaron. Aaron, was this tough for you to listen? Like, if we missed something, was it hard? No, it wasn't hard to listen to. I like all the arguments. I like the, we talked about the morally dubious
Starting point is 01:36:30 and no president's perfect and everybody's got a little something, big or small, that's on them. And I think we did pretty well. Nice. Hey, fellas. Thanks, Aaron. There were some good facts in there.
Starting point is 01:36:44 How long did you guys research for? I started this morning. About, fellas. Thanks, Aaron. There were some good facts in there. How long did you guys research for? I started this morning. About 25 minutes. I got to give a shout out to my buddy, Jimmy Trotter. He gave me 30 minutes on the phone last night where he gave me a lot of good information. He's a beast, dude. Also, yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:01 That's amazing. Grover Cleveland, non-consecutive terms. Only got to do that. That's huge. Wait, that's so smart. We got to highlight that a little bit. Yeah. That's amazing. Chad GVT? Grover Cleveland, non-consecutive terms. Only got to do that. Yeah, that's huge. Wait, that's so smart. We got to highlight that a little bit. Yeah, yeah. This is Chad GVT.
Starting point is 01:37:10 It's all Chad GVT. Also, my buddy Robbie helped me out, too. Give me the list of the top 10 presidents and why they're great. What does Chad GVT say? And I was like, give me some controversies. Give me some quotes. We didn't talk about Andrew Jackson. Do you think you're homies with Chad GVT now?
Starting point is 01:37:23 Like, would you consider him an controversial bad guy? Bad guy. But some people love Andrew Jackson. People love him. GVT now? Bad guy. But some people love Andrew Jackson. Dude, Andrew Jackson, he was like the first Trump. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Trump hates when people say that. No, I just could imagine him being like, I'm the first Trump.
Starting point is 01:37:36 He's actually a copycat of me. Big time spoil system guy where he's just like, what if all my friends were just in every position? That'd be sick. A little cronyism, dude. Nothing wrong with that, dude. Yeah. Nothing wrong with that, dude. Or at least it's most associated with me. Well, you know what's crazy? JFK was like nepotism, cronyism all day.
Starting point is 01:37:51 But we like it because we're like, oh, but his family's smart. In history class, I feel like they're like Andrew Jackson. This is the guy who like, I'm sure it was happening a lot, but like he must have, it's what history remembers as like a certain inflection point of like, he started it really really a lot someone asked in the group chat before we kick it back to Aaron who would be the best president out of us four whoa do you think Strider no that's too kind it's only because I'm old dude no I was gonna say I think maybe Chad no no it'd be me I think yeah yeah, yeah. Actually, you know what? Chris would be really good. Chris would be really good, to be honest.
Starting point is 01:38:26 Hey, shut up, guys. Would you bomb somebody? I don't know if you'd bomb somebody. That's my only reservation. I'd vote for you, but I just don't know if you'd bomb somebody. Proportional response, you know? I'd vote for the American president, dude. But would you bump first if you had to?
Starting point is 01:38:38 I mean, are they talking shit, dude? Like, what are they doing? Are they amassing troops on the border? No, no, see, here's the thing. Here's the thing. To your face, they're saying it's all all good but then you're getting some low level intel that's telling you they got uh alternative can't strike first in that scenario but like hey guys let's be on alert you know it's a good president but then he could get caught i'd
Starting point is 01:38:58 increase military spending dude i'm worried about china bro i'm worried about him we got to make more shells hypersonic missiles for sure. Yeah, the hypersonics scare me, dude. I've seen those trajectories on social media. It's insane. What the fuck? They're so low and fast. These trajectories scare me, dude.
Starting point is 01:39:12 Our defense systems can't shoot those down. Also, dude, Reagan did Star Wars, bro. That's a big benefit. Star Wars is so great. He's a movie guy. He's a movie guy. He acted in it. He's Han Solo.
Starting point is 01:39:22 He's Han Solo, dude. Chris, he would be a good president, dude. Thanks. Yeah, I think he'd be the best, dude. Thanks, man. I really appreciate that. That's awesome. I'd be a good cabinet member.
Starting point is 01:39:33 Too bad I'd make you dome me off when you were president, dude. Dude, that's cool. I don't like that. Too bad I'd make you dome me, bro. Dude, I serve the people, dude. If you want to get domed off I got you that's the kind of president I would be
Starting point is 01:39:48 at his inauguration upset in the classical standard the president that passed out was Zachary Taylor who died really quick in office he had the longest stay to the union and then he got pneumonia and he was feeling bad it was raining outside
Starting point is 01:40:04 and they were like don't't do this, bro. And he's like, no, but I'm going to talk to the forecourt. Who was that guy? Was that McKinley or something? Benjamin Harrison. Benjamin Harrison. McKinley was a bad guy. Big controversy guy.
Starting point is 01:40:14 Oh, yeah. All right, we'll go to Lusitania. No, that's a different one. That was McKinley. This is some Cuba stuff? Some Cuba stuff, yeah. McKinley did Cuba stuff down there. He like blew up a boat on purpose or something.
Starting point is 01:40:23 Oh, that was to start the... The main. the main thinking of the vice president too and who he took over for but that's uh that's a that's a huge conspiracy conspiracy yeah oh no it was william ran off hearst it's like it's like the 9-11 of the year just ran the story yeah we got warren g harding had a affair while in office with a young girl. But McKinley did say that we had divine province. He was a big colonialist. He's like, it's God's will that we take over stuff. Fuck. He said that.
Starting point is 01:40:50 Yeah, that's not good. Oh, boy. All right. Let me recap your picks. Let's do Chris got Washington, Truman, LBJ, Polk. JT got Lincoln, Jefferson, Monroe, Clinton. Oh, that's a good list. Strider, JFK, Obama, Madison, Grant, Chad, FDR, Teddy, John Adams, and the landmine, Ronald Reagan. I told Aaron I might pick Reagan.
Starting point is 01:41:19 He's like, don't do it. I knew it was going to sink it. He did say it even before. Sinking it like the main, bro. Aaron, you got to be unbiased, bro. I knew it was going to sink it. He did say it even before. Sinking it like the main, bro. Aaron, you got to be unbiased, bro. I knew it was going to sink it. Go, go, go. We'll hold it down.
Starting point is 01:41:35 We're going to talk about vice presidents. Dude, what's the chat saying right now, bro? Are they juiced up? Are they juiced up for this? Are you guysiced up? Dude, are they juiced up for this? Are you guys juiced up? They're pretty juiced up. Aaron, as a true— I had to boke a schmol, but—
Starting point is 01:41:51 Okay, good. Are you boke to schmol? I boke to schmol. Yeah, look, we don't want any politics here, even though we're doing presidents. Look, we're just talking about characters. Aaron, as a true presidential draft, Chad and I would like to extend a bribe to you. We will buy you five guys, a lifetime supply of five guys if you just give us
Starting point is 01:42:07 good positions. Aaron, we will suck you off. Aaron, we will dome you off while you take down some five guy fries. I'll do it I'll even do it on an action voice if you want. Dude, I will accept this so I don't have to
Starting point is 01:42:22 decide. I will accept this bribe i know dude it's a very difficult uh job tough draft but i'm glad we brought the facts dude yeah dude i i uh did you guys play swords dude well that's funny because we're just playing a coup against you yeah we just bribed aaron you first dude i'll, bro. We gave him a five-second suck, Jay, and now we just took the... I'm a piss boy. And now he's ragging all day. Dude, I called that one ragadomics, dude.
Starting point is 01:42:52 I'll tell you what's trickling down, bro. Yeah, dude. Oh, did I miss something? Oops. What are we talking about? We're talking about everything, dude. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 01:43:02 We're so amped, dude. They were cooing against us when we were cooing against them outside. Yeah, we cooed against you guys, dude. Oh, wow. We're so amped, dude. They were cooing against us when we were cooing against them outside. Yeah, we cooed against you guys, dude. Why? Because our teams are sick? Yeah, our teams are treating like a fantasy squad. Your teams may be sick, but we just domed up errands.
Starting point is 01:43:14 Oh, dude. Little backdoor politics. Yeah, yeah. Back mouth politics. Who first started mudslinging?ing you know like talking shit on their presidential uh opponents like i think it's pretty early was that jefferson it's like jefferson adams yeah jefferson adams jefferson was the first one back when they called it mudslinging i'm sure they still i think the terminology started in 1828 with andrew jackson and john quincy adams oh
Starting point is 01:43:43 that's when the terminology began. Yeah. Based off a quick gook. But yeah, Adams and Jefferson hated each other. But the way it was established at the time is if you lost the presidency, you were the vice president. Yeah, so funny. Jefferson was vice president for Adams, which was pretty nuts.
Starting point is 01:44:00 And then Jefferson had a guy who was a reporter that like just was a sycophant for Jefferson. And he would run attack articles on Adams all the time. And then Jefferson, because the dude was so uncouth, stopped inviting him to parties. So the guy just went nuts on Jefferson and aired all of his dirty laundry with all of his infidelities. And it was like a lesson in just keeping your attack dog fed. Wow. Let him munch, dude. Let him munch.
Starting point is 01:44:22 Dude, that's fascinating. The audience poll Surprised me No No they're all sick of Fans for Strider You can't trust them For a second dude You can't trust
Starting point is 01:44:33 These people dude I love that Wow what did I say I trust all of you guys Give them the benefit Of the doubt on lunacy dude I got last by a lot No no no no
Starting point is 01:44:42 Don't you I think all these lists Are pretty strong To be honest six percent of the vote dude i'd say they do not like my picks hey for those in the chat do you like five guys because i'll be sending you all gift cards all right time to weigh in all right this is really tough everyone's got good lists even even like i said the landmine of reagan chad's first two picks out of the gate are fucking beautiful as hell beautiful picks like you got
Starting point is 01:45:12 a guy on mount rushmore like come on now uh you know i'm a big fan of teddy um the greatest I think for shit alright last place fourth fourth place let's say last fourth place
Starting point is 01:45:34 I'm gonna go ooh doggy there's a real tension in the air right now sorry about that What are the stakes by the way While Aaron's dialing in There's no clear loser out
Starting point is 01:45:51 No everyone did good I'm having a hard time Are there stakes Is anyone out of the next one Oh yeah We don't even know No we can't say Just say it how it is.
Starting point is 01:46:06 Okay. Call it. No, everyone gets to remain. All right. Well, yeah, I guess it doesn't quite matter. In last place, I think I'm going to have to agree with the fans and say it's Chris. Whoa. Really?
Starting point is 01:46:20 Washington Dank first pick, but then Truman. Truman, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Did you go Truman, too? Yeah, and then LBJ. Truman's don't know I don't know. Should you go Truman 2? Yeah, and then LBJ, back to back LBJ was a strong 3 though But if you flip LBJ and Truman, isn't it It's good. I think it's stronger, yeah
Starting point is 01:46:33 I think it's stronger as well. But it's the same difference Truman would have sat for a while Yeah, because you're picking back to back I'm picking back to back But Aaron's big on order. But Aaron, the fans get mad They say you gotta stop being so big on order. Well, they can come in here and judge. Go with overall order, which is pick.
Starting point is 01:46:49 What was it? Wait, what did he say? I missed it. They can come in here and judge. No, they can't handle that. Yeah. I think order does matter. If it helps him pick, then it makes sense.
Starting point is 01:47:01 Yeah, there's got to be something. Yeah, there's got to be something that helps me get through this because it's it's tough um fuck dude then i think i'm gonna go i think striders three did you really want to put me last though i feel like i could have been last no i love i love jfk Obviously, he served a very short time. Who knows what we would have accomplished. Obama, obviously, all the promise. Did he deliver?
Starting point is 01:47:31 I don't know. But he was cool. There might have been someone cooler out there than Grant. Madison, we all, JT, expertly talked about his faults. But, yeah. All right.
Starting point is 01:47:47 So it is between Chad and JT on this one. And, wow. I think, I mean, obviously those first two picks you both had, Lincoln, Jefferson, FDR, Teddy. Whew. I should have gone Teddy. So it's just a matter of your threes and fours. Where are they? what do they do
Starting point is 01:48:07 Fuck I'm gonna have to go JT wins this Chad two Who's your third James Monroe That's big Monroe and then Clinton JT congratulations What was your three and four Chad Adams and Reagan and then Clinton. Oh my God. Wow. JT, congratulations.
Starting point is 01:48:26 What was your three and four, Chad? Adams and Reagan. You know what's so, what's so, Aaron, great job. I think what's so, what's so crazy though is that the personal politics of the judge
Starting point is 01:48:41 have to be taken into account because I know if you flip-flop Clinton and Reagan, you probably take it home. Is that true? And, and, and really it came down to the recency, like to the presidents who are more modern, but who represents Monroe. And I needed a good time guy because I had some heavy hitting insurgent thinkers, but I needed a guy who's just there for the vibe. I needed one good time guy. Right. Because I had some heavy hitting insurgent thinkers, but I needed a guy who's just there for the vibe.
Starting point is 01:49:08 I needed one of these, dude. Yeah, see, I didn't have any of those. I needed one of these. That's why I was thinking about Nixon, because then I could have cultural cachet. Not a lot to love, nothing to hate. Oh, hell yeah. Give it to him. This trophy is for JT.
Starting point is 01:49:17 Huge. Where's this trophy from? What is this? Jake got it. Oh, nice. Yeah, our social media producer. out jake i think you're watching right now what's up jake what up this is sick um i didn't know that it had a little thing i just assumed it said like first place that's awesome like a generic so does this go around
Starting point is 01:49:37 does this float around whoever's the current holder of it yeah nice um love tradition like you put some beer in there and drink it out yeah it says draft champion going deep with chad and jt sick which is pretty tight um what was i gonna say aaron i didn't know you were a fan of kill this yeah and do you feel like clinton kind of gets a bad rap historically i mean rightfully so i think i think even more of that's going to come out in terms of not the kill list but like personal mischief the policies that ultimately were end up bad nafta and uh deregulating the media and the telecom industry and uh banks as well like yeah the deregulation stuff went nuts
Starting point is 01:50:28 and i think it's cost us a lot in in the long run yeah that's why he's four that's why you don't pick him if you'd have picked him one i'd have been like fuck off that would have been tough over lincoln yeah yeah i do i would have loved if you did that alright fellas that was intense huh I mean the history one like that that was cool I know it's nice I think we all felt a personal pressure to like actually know things on this one
Starting point is 01:50:56 yeah similar to when we did the gays yes I read the most articles I read 25 minutes worth of articles for this Shout out to my Junior year high school history teacher Mr. Young
Starting point is 01:51:09 Some of those facts are still bouncing around And I appreciate that Alright should we do one question Then we'll keep it simple with just beefs legends And then we'll rope it up Wrap it up strong Yeah I've got Pig hog joke coming in pig hog joe coming in
Starting point is 01:51:26 uh pretty soon what time is he coming in allegedly 3 30 but he's not here on time you know he's not on time he's not on time that's wild you know we can just bring joe into this too that'd be fucking i'd love to get his take on the president's yeah that'd be huge last okay here we go wyatt stowe council what up from kentucky last, my dank girlfriend and I were getting ready to leave for a week-long family trip to Florida when she found a pair of panties, not hers, in my bedroom as I was packing the car. These panties were undoubtedly from a fuzz-bumping session
Starting point is 01:51:55 that occurred before our relationship began, as I have not been with any other woman or even been remotely unfaithful since we met. She was furious and almost backed out on the trip. I put my foot down and insisted that the panties were from before our time, and since plane tickets were purchased and Airbnbs booked, she elected to go on the trip with me, my parents, my sister, and her boyfriend. Her mood the entire trip was off, understandably,
Starting point is 01:52:16 but she was respectful and kept all arguments and confrontation behind closed doors. I fear that she can't trust me anymore and this may be the end of our relationship. It really bums me out that this could be the end of it all, because I know that I didn't do anything wrong. But it seems there's nothing I can do to make her believe me. Have any of you been through something like this before? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. That's a tough sitch. Clean your room, dog.
Starting point is 01:52:36 Dude, yeah. When I got into my new relationship, I knew there was a pair in my closet. Oh. I threw them out. Smart. As soon as we started dating, I was those are gone later yeah yeah i mean that's like that's why you should clean your room dude but it is i've had i've had gfs find like residual stuff from past things and they got past it pretty quickly yeah it's a tough stitch because it's like it's dudes like dudes like leaving stuff around it's like we like remnants of of conquest as gross as that sounds i think there is something like primal where we're like oh yeah
Starting point is 01:53:19 leave those earrings there because it's like i i had sex one time right i mean it's tough because she has to like, she had to go on a trip. She couldn't get any space. Yeah. She had to go on a trip with his whole family. So it's like, she probably needed like
Starting point is 01:53:30 five minutes away and it's like, well, we're leaving for the airport right now. So do you think this guy's so smart that he wrote into a podcast and then he could later be like,
Starting point is 01:53:38 hey babe, I even wrote into a podcast being honest and declaring my innocence. He doesn't clean the room. I think she's got to give it time. You know what I mean? Like, it can't be the end of the relationship. Right. Like, like, like, like room. I think you just got to give it time. You know what I mean? It can't be the end of the relationship. Right.
Starting point is 01:53:47 Like, look, you're not going to trust me for a while, but let me earn back that trust because I really didn't do anything and I want you to believe me, but I understand that it's hard to do because you found panties. But there's just nothing. You can't prove it in any way.
Starting point is 01:54:01 You can just plead and then just wait. Yeah, exactly. And I think as fun as they are to sniff, you got to throw them out. Yeah, you got to throw them out. You got to get rid of them, dude. you can't prove it in any way you can just plead and then just wait yeah exactly yeah and i think you know it's as fun as they are to sniff you gotta throw them out yeah you gotta get rid of them dude yeah and you know it's one of those things where i want more context clues i'm like is his room generally messy like if his room's really clean and then those are there right still could be like where were they you know what i mean like was like like exactly underneath the rug or something and has he done anything else to sort of let's slightly on the untrustworthy scale that right is he a flirt more
Starting point is 01:54:30 is that flirt like where like he's just chatting random chicks up and he's like well you know did they both get together while they were kind of dating someone else oh right there's a lot of questions that i have but like yeah she's projecting because she's been cheating whoa see here's what i would do if would do if she won't get over it and she wants to maintain that you did something off. Is this a presidential move? Yeah. You got to fight fire with fire at some point.
Starting point is 01:54:53 Just reverse the accusations. Yeah. Just be like, you cheated. Let me see your phone. Get her on her heels. Because she's all offense right now. You're all heels. Bring some balance to that. Go to her room. I bet she's got tons of now. You're all heels. Bring some balance to that.
Starting point is 01:55:05 Go to her room. I bet she's got tons of panties. Yeah. Yeah. Whose panties are these? Whose panties are these? I've never seen you wear these panties before. You have to tell me every single time you masturbate.
Starting point is 01:55:15 Otherwise, you're cheating. Yeah, exactly. I do think if you put her into a little bit of a paranoid condition, then she'll have empathy for what she's accusing you of. She might need to understand how it feels to be falsely accused. Right. Have you paid all your bills on time? You know,
Starting point is 01:55:28 what have you done wrong lately? Have you ever said something rude about my family? Right. Just, just hit her with that. And look, you got to go like this. You gotta go hit bed.
Starting point is 01:55:34 Have you ever thought anything rude about my family? Yeah, exactly. What are your, what's going on? Yeah. What's going on in your head? Did you judge the house that I brought you to for vacation?
Starting point is 01:55:41 Exactly. Do you don't like this place? You don't want to go to Havasu? What do you, is this your least favorite lake? Would you prefer Paris? Get off the banana boat. vacation. Exactly. If you don't like this place, you don't want to go to Havasu, what is your least favorite lake? Would you prefer Paris? Get off the banana boat. Yeah, Paris.
Starting point is 01:55:50 You could also bring her five guys. She'd bring her five guys, yeah. Yeah. But is there any way to convince her? What could you say to be like, that ain't it? You can't say anything. You can't say anything.
Starting point is 01:56:00 The relationship's trust, man. When it comes to love, maybe you'll get burnt, maybe you won't. It's like my therapist. You gotta hold your ground. Yeah, you gotta be strong in it. You gotta chop it off.
Starting point is 01:56:07 I know I didn't do anything. As penitent. So yeah, is it bad if he's trying to do makeup stuff? Like if he's trying to be extra nice to like compensate? I swear. No.
Starting point is 01:56:15 Maybe. Make an impact. I think kind of, you think about people who get accused of things if they just hold their ground, you know? Seems like,
Starting point is 01:56:24 I don't know write her a love letter if she doesn't like that be like bro i tried yeah yeah get mad at her be like you don't trust me i'll say this this is what gp my therapist used to say you don't export trust when you love someone you give them permission to fuck you up you don't trust that they'll never hurt you you trust that you'll be okay if they do hurt you and she needs to embody that a little bit that's nice that's real don't say that just wait for her to do it i don't think it'll go over well if you say that all right that was sick chat who's your beef of the week my beef of the week my beef of the week is with um did i say that dude's full name were you not supposed to probably not sorry chad who's your beef of the week
Starting point is 01:57:12 dude it's live i fucked up it's live dude my beef of the week is it says anonymous what's that it said not to say his name? It says Anonymous at the end. Sorry, dude. Fuck, dude. Dude, my beef of the week is with melted... No, not beef. That's a legend. My beef of the week is with microwaves, dude.
Starting point is 01:57:44 Because I appreciate what you do, but it's not how you do it like what's going on with those waves are you you know it makes things convenient but is it messing me up are those waves going to my nuts you may make good nachos but are you putting microplastics in there would shrink my dong which i'm actually grateful for i don't know dude microwaves what's going on yeah can we trust them yeah it is a weird thing bro yeah like they just heat up like that yeah they just like radiate food there's no free lunch yes amen yeah bill always comes yeah stoves are definitely sicker. For sure.
Starting point is 01:58:26 Take too long, though. For sure. Like a broiler? What about a solid grill, though? It's hard to melt cheese on there, dude. Falls through the grates. It's so true. You've got to get one of those little things to put on, trap the heat.
Starting point is 01:58:37 Just come on. I'm not going to buy that. We're going to store it. That's the whole problem. It's a heat can, man. Good call, bro. My beef is me For not taking
Starting point is 01:58:46 Teddy Roosevelt In this draft What an idiot If you take Teddy Do you take Freddie Do you take Franklin And JFK next? I was going to take JFK
Starting point is 01:58:57 Right I thought Obama and JFK Felt like Second round picks I thought they were locks I was surprised by that I know, I'm an idiot
Starting point is 01:59:04 And I'm a World War II guy You know what what it was one of the last articles i read was about like jf ken i'm like yep he's fresh on my dome right that's pretty sick and you guys took the two obvious beasts i was like right he's so sexy yeah he's hot yeah you are like band of brothers bro bro i know and i'm watching them all right now getting horny for the uh noose that's coming out. Oh, right. Because they're doing one about in the sky. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:59:27 I forget what it's called. Oh, because they did the Pacific and then they did Band of Brothers. And now they're just scraping. And then next it's going to probably be about submarines like five years later. I think we're good. You might be good. I think I'm good. Yeah, you're good.
Starting point is 01:59:43 I'm good. I'm not good. I might be tuning in. Give me more. I'm almost like more from the other side I'm good. Yeah, you're good. I'm good. I'm not good. I might be tuning in. Give me more. I'm almost like more from the other side though, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that'd be interesting. There's definitely some stories for sure.
Starting point is 01:59:53 I mean, Pacific's not that great though. I'm rewatching it. It's not? You know what it needs? It needs the voiceover narration that Band of Brothers had because it's based on that Stephen A. Ambrose book. I don't know if Pacific's based on a book. It might be.
Starting point is 02:00:06 I could be wrong. But also, the Pacific's not a fun theater of war. It's all about like, it's kind of like a Vietnam type experience where it's like horrific stuff, the mental anguish. Infiltration. The type of warfare that you're fighting.
Starting point is 02:00:21 Like, it's bad. They say there can be no anti-war film because it's all glorifying it, like there is romance like fighting by a by a church in you know fucking france and like it look the aesthetic of it which is sick to say is like nice but then you're in the pacific and it's like jungle or like you know beautiful beaches and stuff but it's like it's like i'm thirsty i have a fever malaria, they're right next to me, and I had no idea because there's a tunnel right there. Correct. Very gnarly.
Starting point is 02:00:50 So none of it's fun, but I'm excited for that. But anyway, I digress. That's my beef is me for being a dumbass during the draft. You don't like your squalic? My first pick. That's my fault. That was sick, dude. Stokers.
Starting point is 02:01:07 All right, Chris, I got to say, I got to come clean aaron might have been being nice and aaron you can admit it is it because i could go three hours in a row that you gave me the third place no okay i really appreciate you saying that had to check i i was i was thinking i was thinking i could see you thinking it i was a bit v heavy, so I get that. Truman sunk you. Well, who's your beef? My beef is also myself. Usually on Sundays, I like traveling. I like wearing Steelers, my Steelers shirt, you know, football Sunday.
Starting point is 02:01:38 I was going to be on a plane. I was coming back from New Orleans, which is sick, by the way. First time there, it was sick. Beautiful wedding. Shout out Ashley and Darren. But Steelers offense looked so bad i was like fuck it and i pivoted to a stoke nation shirt to rep that which was sick and i was happy to do it but then i'm watching the steelers on the plane and we fucking huge defensive performance dude pick it to pickens walk off baby let's go steelers beat our rivals, the Ravens.
Starting point is 02:02:05 And I was like, I mean, our offense is so bad to watch. And I was traveling, watching the Texans absolutely demolish us. And I didn't want that experience again. I can't believe that happened. But then we fucking won. And I was like, I should have stuck with my boys, although I did look sick in my Pinkstoke Nation shirt. So, look, I'm not too mad about it, but I shouldn't be scared to rep my boys although i did look sick in my pink stoke nation shirt so look i'm not too mad about it but
Starting point is 02:02:25 i shouldn't be scared to rep my boys because you know tj watt rules tomlin rules pickens rules fucking beast and so i just felt like i gave up on them when i and highsmith's a beast on the other side he's the best player to play across from tj watt he had 11 pressures or something in the game and it's twice this year where he's had the strip sack and tj has recovered it the first one the first one was in the game where do we lose three down oh streams streams down they got the good parts yeah is the pod still recording um all right well i'll stop then dude uh my beef of the week should i just keep cooking yeah yeah my beef of the week i gotta go with oj simpson just like huge piece of shit man yeah like i'm i'm of the opinion that he's a murderer
Starting point is 02:03:21 i don't think he should have done that and uh i don't think he's handled even getting away with it with much grace i think he's been kind of flagrant in his insensitivity and and in his bizarre need to comment on things like at least just go away so um yeah my beef of the week's gotta be oj i think uh you know regardless of whether you've had some concussions there has to be some accountability. And I just think you can't do what he did. No. What did he do? He murdered two people.
Starting point is 02:03:50 Oh, crap. Yeah. In 94. Oh, shit. Then a couple years later, Strep for Cash wrote a book, If I Did It, about how he would have murdered the two people. Damn.
Starting point is 02:04:03 Yeah, not a good look. So, yeah. No, it's a bit tasteless. That's my beef. Chad, who's your babe slash legend of the week? Dude, it's pet insurance. Now, I dog on insurance a lot. And I want to give a shout out to Ferraro here because I'm pro-insurance today
Starting point is 02:04:20 because I had to take my dog into the vet, dude, like fucking four times last week. Oh. You know? And I got this pet insurance, shout out Lemonade. This isn't an ad. They just – and I was nervous because vet bills are expensive as hell. It's insane. It's annoying.
Starting point is 02:04:37 They're like, yeah, we also gave them fluids. That's going to be 500 bucks extra. And you're like, do they need that? And they're like, yeah, they need it. And you're like, oh, okay. But insurance like yeah they need it you're like oh okay um but insurance came back how much you get back like almost in full oh really oh nice dude huge huge dude i came in this morning because like the claims were pending and i was like i was like uh what's going on with these claims because you filed claims and you know i was in the hole pretty
Starting point is 02:05:03 hard from all that shit and then uh and then i came back and they're like yeah we're gonna pay you back like pretty much 100 i'm like dude let's go let's go that's big dude lola's feeling good yeah you know it's just puppy stuff just vomiting and you're like oh did she swallow like a foreign object of course scary brutal my babe slash legend of the week's gotta be my fucking dank ass wife dude we reorganized our bookshelf dude we're minimizing dude um it feels very good she's well read it's a lot of her books but we're reorganizing those using their color schematic right now we just put a few like um spooky titles on our shelf right now um with some like nice pumpkin spice candles That we got
Starting point is 02:05:46 As a gift From shout out to my Freaking boy John Daniels And Dory And John Daniels Freaking legends dude Sent us a sick ass
Starting point is 02:05:54 Pumpkin spice candle That's nice Very nice So that's like Smelling very nice And we're just really Diving into the fall So it feels good
Starting point is 02:06:00 Hell yeah Fuck yeah Chris Oh dude Gotta go with the twins Oh that's good So it feels good. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. Chris? Oh, dude, got to go with the twins. Oh, that's nice. Thank you. What are you? I'll call them Bob and Mary because I don't remember your.
Starting point is 02:06:13 Oh, yeah. I forget what fake names I came up with. I felt like they were too close to their names that it's like I was going to fuck up. Oh, no. Bob and Mary's good. Dude, we just picked up jt before coming over here they're nice kids they're fucking just getting so she's getting bigger their lights are coming on yeah they're just looking at a bunch of shit they're smiling it was sick the way they're
Starting point is 02:06:38 yeah it was it's awesome that's rad dude i love them they're so cute it's awesome. That's rad, dude. I love them. They're so cute. It's the best. They are great. Dude, my babe of the week, I think I have a hernia. Whoa. I felt something pop when I was doing leg press. Your babe of the week. I wasn't even going that heavy. I was trying to cater my workouts now to not be like CrossFit style
Starting point is 02:06:59 because I thought that would help me get some longevity. And sure enough, you can't safeguard against time, bro. It came at me where I least expected it. Doing a moderate weight, leg press, knee went into my stomach, heard a pop, and been in pain since. I'm going to have to go get a scan. Fuck. If I ever hear any of these.
Starting point is 02:07:17 Hopefully it's mild. I think so. But I'm going to elect for surgery. I want to get it nipped in the bud so I can push. Yeah, that sucks, man. Yeah, but it's like life, but life sucks. Yeah. But you have to love it.
Starting point is 02:07:34 You have to love what sucks. You know what? That's like Friends, episode one. What's her name says that? Courtney Cox. It's life. It sucks. You're going to love it.
Starting point is 02:07:42 Does she really say that? Mm-hmm. Bro. Here's a quote from Friends, yeah. That's serendipitous as fuck dog. It's I might be bought box ball botching it a little bit But that's the sentiment. No, I think you hit it on dough, dude All right, but you for light for you is probably still pretty heavy on the leg press. Yes five plates on each side I'm saying let's go Let's fucking go. They may do it. Yeah, I think it's gonna be okay if it's not
Starting point is 02:08:06 Yeah, yeah, cuz I'm explaining in today Let's go. Let's fucking go, dude. I think it's going to be okay if it's not. It's probably a domino shame. Yeah. Because how much pain are you in today? Four out of ten. Damn. But I worked out on it a couple times. If you're moving, you're probably all right. Sometimes hernias are debilitating.
Starting point is 02:08:18 Yeah, for sure. Maybe instead of a quote of the week, we'll go with, or no, let's do do a quote but let's do a presidential quote I love it good call dude let me pull one out let me fucking pull one up here dude fucking pull one up oh I got one my quote of the week is only Rosie O'donnell
Starting point is 02:08:45 trump i remember watching that just be like what the fuck is happening dude no way that's so fucking funny dude anybody else ready all right i'll go with one of my picks lyndon b yesterday is not ours to recover but tomorrow is ours to win or lose nice i love that attack mode fucking beast i'm gonna do one from uh let's see there's probably so many if not us who if? If not now, when? JFK. He's got way better ones than that, by the way.
Starting point is 02:09:33 No, that's a sick one, though. I'm going to go with a classic. I was not lying. I said things that later on seemed to be untrue. President Nixon. That's a great quote, dude. That's the best political, that's the best answer of all time. Oh my God, that's so funny. All right, guys, great draft.
Starting point is 02:09:54 Good shit. JT, good win. Thanks, dude. Nice dub, good shit, boys. Thanks, Aaron. That was fun, guys. What's that? I don't know.

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