Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 314 - Nikki Glaser

Episode Date: October 25, 2023

Today, we are joined by the hilarious Nikki Glaser. She is the Host and Executive Producer of FBOY ISLAND on the CW. We talk about fainting on stage in Orange County. Nikki talks about the time she met Chad Kroeger of Nickelback and accidentally tagged Chad. We appresh this comedic genius blessing us with her presence for a fire pod.  Check out Season 3 of FBOY ISLAND here:https://www.cwtv.com/shows/fboy-island/ Find out more about Nikki here:https://www.nikkiglaser.com/ Grab some NEW dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! TIX HERE:http://www.chadandjt.com Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Episode Sponsored by: BlueChew: Get your first month FOR FREE  just pay the 5$ shippinghttps://www.bluechew.com Code godeep

welcome to the podcast this week we have nikki glazer it's so much fun she's hilarious if you haven't seen her stand up go check it out she has a new show f boy island 2 on cw season 2 i think or season 3 but check it out it's hilarious we had such a fun time such a fun conversation i know you're gonna love it but first we are on tour guys And it's been so much fun meeting everyone at the shows. I'm just so grateful to have the Stokers. You guys are the best. And so this Friday, Strider and I are going to be in Escondido. That's San Diego at the Grand Comedy Club.

If you're in the San Diego area, get your tickets, chadjt.com. We are also going to be in New York City at the Bell House in Brooklyn. November 8th. One show. And tickets are going fast. I City at the Bell House in Brooklyn, November 8th. One show. And tickets are going fast. I looked at the ticket count. They are going fast. Make sure you get on that.

Then we have the Varsity Theater, Minneapolis, November 16th, I believe. And then we have Detroit, 17th to 19th. And then Denver Comedy Works, early December. Guys, come out. Come hang out. Mingle with the Stokers. Let's have some fun. Get your tickets at chanjt.com. We also have some merch available for a limited time. Still available. Get your Stokier, guys. This merch is, it's custom dyed. It's made in the USA.

It's good quality. It gets me so fired up. And I want you guys to feel that. I want you to just rock the Stokoke here and thank you so much to everyone who's bought some it's your support means the world so very stoked on all of you we're also brought to you by blue chew summer is here guys do you want to bring the heat in the bedroom i know you want to bring a fat fat bricked up boner you know you want to bring that you know telephone pole in the b room pitch that tent because blue chew wants to help you have better sex discover your options at bluechew.com we also got a special deal for our listeners try blue chew free when you use our promo code go deep at checkout just pay five dollars shipping

that's bluechew.com nope promo code go deep to receive your first month free visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information and we thank blue chew for sponsoring the podcast all right let's start the show well let's let's sizzle it up and let's flip it down what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep in Chad JT podcast. I'm here with my compadre, Jean Thomas. What up? Boom clap, Stokers. And we're here with Nikki Glaser. Hi, guys. Thank you for

joining. Thanks for having. Yeah, we're pumped. Really? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. You're doubling up today on the coffees? This is from yesterday, you said? This is from yesterday. Why didn't you finish it? Because I started drinking it at six in the early evening. I didn't you finish it? Because I started drinking it at six, like six in the early evening.

And I didn't want to be too jacked up. So it's a grande cold brew, just straight up, no cream. No, black. Just black. And then today you got a latte. Well, I was fasting last night. I was going to say, why would you ever get something without milk in it? I'm trying to lose some weight.

So I did this last night, also simultaneous to give me some energy, but also as a meal suppressant. No, why are you fasting? I need to lose like six pounds. Six pounds? That's so stupid. No, it's right. No, I mean, I get it.

I need to lose six pounds. Like exactly six pounds would be like so perfect for me. So I get it. I think you look great, but I know what you mean. Is this how you always lose weight? No, you know what i my girlfriend was pregnant and i didn't want her to be heavier than me so i put on like 20 pounds and now i'm shedding some of that weight nice like well i also wanted

to bulk up i was like oh you look a little small and photo like i'm not the tallest guy but i was like i look small in photos i was like i think a dad should be like a little yeah yeah dad bad yeah so like I want to be like if I'm carrying one I get hit by a car I want to be solid you went too far

I went too far six pounds too far I went six pounds too far now you're trying to lose the weight of your baby exactly whoa that's interesting whoa

yeah totally did you already have the baby yeah they're both here oh my god they're both you had twins mmhmm oh congratulations oh thank you I appreciate it that's wild how old they're like nine. Oh my God. They're both? You have twins? Congratulations.

Oh, thank you. I appreciate it. That's wild. How old? They're like nine weeks right now. Oh my God. Nine and a half weeks. It's crazy. Holy shit.

Yeah, their lights are starting to come on. I feel like you're a dad. I know. I can't believe it either. Their lights are starting to come on? Yeah. Like they're starting to like ignite like. They can see you now and they can track you and they can.

Track you? And they can smile. They smile now, which is really cute. Oh my God. That's so great. It is pretty wonderful. When they laugh, it really now Which is really cute Oh my god that's so great It is pretty wonderful When they laugh It really is all the things

Oh they're laughing though Yeah they'll just sit there And go Yeah Yeah Yeah Oh that's fun That's so

Do they have different personalities Yeah the boy is sad And the girl is arrogant Is arrogant Yeah she's arrogant She looks down on you How does a baby Come off as arrogant

She's just like Ugh Like she does that a lot She's just like not having it Yeah she kind of scoffs She does it baby come off as arrogant she's just like ugh like she does that a lot she's just like not having it yeah she kind of scoffs she does it like your little antics

and you're going yeah if you do a face you're like boo boo boo boo boo she's just like dude come on man yeah she's like it's so cliche

everyone's done that for a millennium figure something new out that's so cute that they have different personalities I'm not gonna have kids I don't think

how old are you I am 35 okay that's that's dad age but it would be fun being a dad i think i'd be good i've been thinking about that like where there's been that like huge conversation around the uh the saying like being a mom is the hardest job in the world oh yeah i i used to like kind of roll my eyes at that bill burr yeah i agree with bill burr i'm like it's not that hard. And then, but now I'm like, no, I would much rather like have a regular job and then just see the kids at night than have to, because when you're with them, like you're beholden to them at every second of the

day. It never ends. There's no smoke break. There's no lunch break. And that's what, and it doesn't end forever. There's no end in sight. There's no light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know how people do it it really is incredible I think I have a joke right now that I don't want kids because I'm smart and that's condescending and then I go no I think it's actually

I think that people that want kids they're just like dumb I think that's true but I think it takes a little bit of stupidity and denial not stupidity but um because people listening that have kids i don't want you to think that i think you're stupid i think that it takes you can't really know how bad it can be in getting in it it's like when people get surgery or whatever like i think or get their tits done or something they're you watch those MTV Real Life or whatever?

Oh, True Life. That was the best. Yeah, I'm getting calf implants or whatever. Yeah, the buff dude. That guy was hilarious. They're always bandaged up like, I did this. And then they look awesome later, but if you would have flashed that to them prior to them doing it,

they wouldn't have done it. But you're in it, So you can't back out. Yeah, two things. The calves guy was amazing. He was amazing. He's on the water. He's the original Jersey Guido. Along with True Life, I'm Getting Married. And then he's on the water. He's like, I love my new calves. And he's flexing.

It's amazing. That was such a specific thing to get done, but I guess not. I think men really do. I worry about stuff like that. I totally get it. I have small small calves arnold had small calves so he cut the bottom part of all of his pants off so they'd always be revealed and so he'd feel that embarrassment and shame and it would push him to work extra hard on him that was arnold that's nuts it's awesome i just heard this girl on some podcast i saw a clip of some podcast and she would drive past her ex's house not to like spy on him but to like prove to herself that she was strong enough to handle it

into like force the fear and the sadness so that she could like overcome it faster and i was like i really like that like leaning into the thing i think that's like being a comedian is kind of doing that it's like i'm we're kind of beating people to the the punch line and like exposing ourselves for the things that we're inherently yeah harry sheer he said we control why people laugh at us yes that was him i think it's attributed to so many different mark marin always quotes it but he always says it's sheer okay okay that's good yeah we we control the why yeah we're like no you're laughing me for this and sometimes when they laugh at you for a reason it's slightly different than why you wanted them to laugh i'll get mad and be like that's not why i wanted you to laugh slightly over there

totally happens i've said things on stage when there's been like a burst of laughter and i literally go why'd you do that like why was that funny and they're like i can tell they're laughing at me yeah and um yeah that's but then if you do the roast that's when they you guys have clearly done roasts before right we we've judged judged one I'm not a good roaster that was scary I threw some zingers out there and it felt good yeah you were passionate so it's fun to roast people

or you're saying you're not even good at that I mean you know what I just never really tried it so I could give it a shot if you're good at writing jokes you're good at roasting I always picture myself doing the Andyy sandberg route during the beaver was it the yeah yeah i feel like i'd be good at that yes like the ironic ironically bad yes yeah because norm mcdonald with bob saget yeah yeah i think that's the way that's that's a good approach when

i do crowd work i'll like compliment the audience that That's nice. Yeah. Well, I'll try. I don't know. I'll just be like, oh, you're just a nice couple. It doesn't really lead to much, but that's kind of my style. It's pleasant, though. Yeah, it's pleasant. It gives everybody a nice feeling. Yeah.

Wait, you do stand-up, too, right? Mm-hmm. Crowd work is... Do you do crowd work? I've been doing it more lately just because I'm trying to... Get reels? Yeah. I don't know.

It seems to help a lot. Like overall, I don't even mean for the clips. I mean, just like I used to never do crowd work, but now we're doing The Road and it does kind of like bring the audience into the present. People like it. Brings you into the present a little bit. Yeah. That's a good point.

That's the present. I think that's exactly what's good about it. I think people shit on it because they say it's easy. Let me just say, it is not. Crowd work is not easy. And I just saw some comedian going off about how

crowd work's the easiest thing. Yeah, it's like, you can kind of say whatever and you'll get a laugh, but long form crowd work is so difficult. I think, I do not like it.

You're flying without a net a little bit. I get so nervous. I'm going to be exposed because yeah, it's improv. It's so so different than i like to be prepared there are things that happen on stage that uh you know just come up in the moment but i'm in control of them like i don't want to depend on someone else i'm terrified of it but i do think that people love it and there's a reason that they like that it hits so hard yeah if you mention their city you make

fun of their city like all these things that i kind of roll my eyes out of like no i have actual material i don't want to talk about how bad your drivers are like who cares they like it like yeah i've tried it like because you're talking about where people say it's easy you know you watch clips and people are like oh how long you guys been together and i've tried that yeah where i'll be like where you guys from like how long you guys been together and they're like oh two years and you're just like okay i'm gonna go back to my material because i don't know where to go from here that's exactly how i feel it's too it i'll just be people are there to see me and i'm just gonna be exposed as a like someone who's not that

clever because in the moment like i just don't know what to say and yeah i just end up being like cool like and i don't want to be mean but don't know what to say. And yeah, I just end up being like, cool. And I don't want to be mean, but some people want you to mock them. They do like that. Yeah, that's what they like. Sometimes I'm unintentionally mean. Like I'll just repeat what they said,

but maybe I say it with like a condescending tone or something and then the audience will laugh. And I'm like, oh, they just are like, they're hankering for me to like take it to them a little bit. Because they're just so impressed because dumb people think standups are just coming up with everything off the top of their head. for me to like take it to them a little bit. Because they're just so impressed because they, you know, dumb people think standups are just coming up with everything off the top of their head. And now most people

like 99% of a crowd knows that that's not the case. So when they see you go off and do crowd work, it's just, it's a magic trick that you can be funny when really you don't need to be that clever. Like you said, you can just do the dumbest thing and they'll laugh. And if you just look cool up there, like a lot of people just like, they've got a lot of like and it's not easy to

look cool like to hang in your body and be relaxed it's so hard and you can't really fake it no you just are cool yeah you just can't fake it like that that's the number one thing whenever and i don't want this podcast to turn into like dissecting stand-up comedy because it's boring but i i really think that the number one thing to being a good stand-up comedy because it's boring. But I really think that the number one thing to being a good stand-up is being comfortable up there. You don't even have to be funny. If you just look.

Make them feel safe. Yes, because there's nothing worse than being in the audience and being like, oh, this guy's bombing. And like, because they're all projecting onto you. Everyone's biggest fear is public speaking. So everyone is just going like, God, if that was me,

like that's how we process the whole world is like, man, if that were me, I guess it's empathy. But people are constantly thinking god that's i'd be so nervous so when you kind of exude nervousness it's like it's the worst but if someone's just up there not even funny but they're just comfortable they they'll kill yeah there's something to the art of bombing well too i think is huge because if you can bomb and then like acknowledge it in like a cool way, that's almost even better. It's the biggest laugh you'll get all night. Yeah.

Is like that didn't go over well or that's a new joke. Won't do that one again. Like those little lines always get such a bigger pop than my best joke. Yeah. Because it's just cutting the tension in the room. I mean, if you whittle it down, comedy is just like calling out the thing that everyone sees and is too scared to call out. So that's like the quintessential thing of like, we're all

uncomfortable right now. We all just know that my act took a huge dip. Let me call it out. And everyone just goes, oh, thank God he acknowledged it. Sometimes you bomb and you're like, is my fly down? Because there's something going on that everyone's looking at. Is there like kind bar chocolate on my face?

Whenever I eat a kind bar, it looks like I went down on one. It's like horrible. But yeah, you just, there's, it's so scary. But it's also not. Like, I'm kind of not scared of it anymore. I've always pictured, especially when I have like family in the audience, that's when I get most nervous. Yes, me too.

And then I'm like, well, well if i bomb if i'm just straight up bombing what if i just say like you know i guess i'm bombing yeah you know and just sit up there and be like okay and like i was that comforts me because i'm like at least i can do that yes and and they'll come off pretty cool i think it's true i think that whenever i it's hard to do in the moment when you start bombing because it truly is like you like leave your body when you're bombing like it's so embarrassing because you're like this is live like this is happening right now oh my god what the fuck and but if you can stop yourself and just say whatever you need to save yourself on stage if comics are listening

my trick is you just stop and i rarely am able to do this because it's so crazy bombing and like i get distracted and i'm trying to like just save myself and i'm swimming against the tide as opposed to swimming parallel to the shore which parallel to the shore is just saying what's true that sucked oh that was good this outfit is too distracting like whatever it is like just say like what you're just ask yourself in that moment what is honest right now what's the most honest thing this room is hot like just say something that will bring everyone back to like acknowledge what's going on yeah and that kind of saves you but like you're that's that is a um i like what you're saying of like yeah i can

bomb but like i have an out which is i'll just be cool about bombing. Just be cool about bombing. I was thinking, when I first started doing, I don't do the Laugh Factory regularly, but when I first got a couple spots there, it's that thing where you're so nervous, you're like, I gotta go straight into my material and get that first joke and get that first laugh or else I'm fucked. And when you have that energy,

you just kind of like the first joke would always just kind of fail and then and then like and then i just learned this thing like that being present thing where you just acknowledge kind of what's going on in the room just start with that and it just totally because everyone goes okay he knows how to drive the bus exactly yeah he's we're in good hands he's like in a uniform like there you just we're in good hands everyone just wants to feel uniform like you just we're in good hands everyone just wants to feel fucking safe yeah i go out at shows because i think a lot of people are drug along to my shows by like their boyfriend or their husband who's like seen my roast

compilations they're like honey this is who we're seeing tonight and the girls are like oh my god she's gonna make fun of my outfit like and then there's someone with social anxiety sitting in the front row and their boyfriend is dying to be talked to. And the girl is just like, oh, please. So I always give a talk before I start. And I'm like, I am not going to talk to you unless you want me to. You can go to the bathroom. It won't distract me.

I'm not going to be like, look at this lady going to take a shit. Because I just don't want anyone. Oh, you got to hit her with that, though. I don't want anyone to feel. Dude, if someone's going to dump, you got to hit them. I know. No, because they just are peeing. And then what if you do have to dump and then you have to go so fast?

You don't tell them, but you time it. When they come back, you're like, took you nine minutes to do whatever you did. It's too humiliating. You should do that sophomore year cultural geography class. Well, you know what you do in that moment is you make a girl never go to a comedy show again. Yeah, I wouldn't do that actually. Whenever I see comics do that, I'm like, that girl's never go to a comedy show again. Yeah, I wouldn't do that, actually. That's the thing. Like, yeah, that's whatever people do. When I see comics do that, I'm like, that girl's never going to leave her house again

and ever go to a show because that's most people are so scared to go see comedy shows. They want to sit in the back. It is scary. It is. Especially if you're sitting up front. Oh, my God. You feel so vulnerable. Yeah, you're like lit up.

When a comedian scans the room, you're like, no, no, leave me alone. Oh, I know. No, I don't look people in the eyes. I don't do anything like that because I just don't want them to get scared. You want to keep them safe. Yeah, I want to make them feel safe. It's nice. For some reason, I've always felt like, especially on the road,

the people who don't know us who just sort of bought tickets, they're always in the front row. Do you feel that? I feel it. They're just kind of staring at you like, do we even know? Yeah, they're like some random older people. Yeah. Because they have the most money, so they can buy the nicest row. Do you feel that? I feel it. They're just kind of staring at you like, do we even know? Yeah, they're like some random like older people. Yeah. Because they have the most money

so they can buy the nicest ticket. Yeah. Yeah, and they flex. And they're just like older people that are just like, what's the show in town? Yeah. Yeah, and they, yes.

They kind of look at you. And I'm like, you don't know who we are. And they're just sort of staring and they're like, we don't understand what's going on. And you're like, why are you in the front?

The concierge recommended the show tonight. We were in town for Mass Star tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. There's nothing worse than seeing people who don't want to be at your show. That's why I blur my eyes. I don't like to look at people not having a good time.

And I also don't like to look at people because the second you get looked at and you're in the crowd, you start going, ha, ha, ha. You just laugh because you don't want the comedian to think you're not laughing. And I feel like it's raping for people to laugh. And I don't like to, I don't like to rape girls into laughing. So I don't, I don't look at anyone. I kind of look at like, I blur my eyes. I can just do this thing where I can blur my eyes.

Right, like pressure, like they're scared of you. So they laugh just to keep them. Yeah, and I don't want to ever get a laugh from like. You want it to be a relaxed laugh. Yeah, I want it to be real. I don't want to like just anxiety laugh yeah this is random i used to listen to you and sarah schaefer's podcast oh my god really i lived in new york and i used to go to all the shows and stuff yeah that was one of my faves because you guys always had good guests and thank you you did it live right

yeah and i remember you told a story one time about performing at hennessy's in orange county oh my god which is where i grew up and is one of my favorite bars. Yeah, I used to go there constantly when I was in my early 20s. I fainted. Yeah. Yeah, dude, it was the worst. Was that Costa Mesa? It's Dana Point.

Dana Point! I've been saying Costa Mesa. It was Dana Point. Oh my God, yeah, that was the worst. It was 2007, and I was about to go to montreal comedy festival as like a new face and so i was really stressed out about it and i was like fasting to like lose that extra six pounds smart i was temping all day and then i would get home from temping and i would go for a run and then i would smoke some wheat like i was just like kind of just you know just spinning a lot of plates in my life and then i i had that gig that night and i got

home from work i went for a run i remember all the things that led up to it like all the choices i made i smoked a little weed on the way down but like i was broke then so like i knew when i got there i would get a free meal and i was like okay i know i'm like really hungry right now and like haven't eaten all day but i'm gonna fucking clean up when i get there so i get there and i'm i order my food and they're like um why don't you go up first and i was like i really need to eat something before i go on stage and they're like um can you just like not and i was like is it because of the way i look they're like no we just need you to go uh up now because the guy didn't show up or whatever and i was like fuck okay yeah I can do it. It's fine.

I went up there. You've seen a comedy show there? No. I didn't even know they did stand up there. It was a stage that they built. It had no back wall to it. There's nothing for me to lean against. I'm up there and two minutes in, I've never fainted before, but I just started to

feel like it was tunnel vision starting. Then I just then cognitively shut down. And I was like in the middle of a joke and I couldn't even think of what. It's just I've never lost control like that in my life. And I was so scared. And I kind of I just go, I think I'm going to faint. And this and I like it was a packed room. And I looked at this woman and I was like, is that awkward?

Like, I don't know why I said that. I think it was like in the time where awkward wasn't like the lamest thing to say. I don't want to seem like a hack. That's really sweet though where you're like, you don't want to make them feel bad that you're about to like die. This is again, I don't want to make anyone feel unsafe. I'm going to die, but I hope that doesn't make you feel bad. I was like, is that awkward for you? It's so true.

Is this going to make you guys uncomfortable if I pass out right now? And I just remember her going, yeah. And I was like, it is? And I just go, it is? And that was the last thing I remember. And then I was like, Mark, I need you to come back up. And Mark was the host. And I was like, you need to come back.

And I fucking started, I don't remember what happened, but I guess I fainted. I fell. But they came up and got me. But I had a dream in that time that I was in the ocean. There were waves. Really? I was in the waves, and they were hitting me, and I was washing up on shore. And I had this whole dream, and then I woke up. And then I also remembered being on stage and fainting, and I thought that was a dream.

You know when you wake up from a nightmare, and you're like, yes, I'm so glad that wasn't true. That would have been so embarrassing. I woke up and it was true. Like the ocean part wasn't the part I liked. The part that I thought I dreamt, I thought it was a nightmare. And I woke up and it was like, it wasn't undoing. You know, I was just like, I was in it.

And I was like, oh God. And I'm just like, I'm still with my microphone. And I'm just like on the ground like I'm like oh my god oh my god and so I got up and I like ran into the women's restroom that was right off the stage and no one followed me in there were like

no women comics there so you know there's only one per show and so they there was no one I was just in the bathroom by myself and I like thought my comedy career was over like no one even knew this is 2007 this is so long ago no one. I was just in the bathroom by myself. And I like thought my comedy career was over. Like no one even knew. This is 2007. This is so long ago.

No one knew who I was. There's nothing to even lose. Not that you would lose anything. But I just was so embarrassed. And then I started going into that. Like I was in this stall. And like no one's coming to help me. I'm also like, oh, my God.

I have to go back out there. Like there's no way out except to walk out in this hole. And it's dead silence. I can hear like like the room there's like no one talking and then i started getting like angry about how embarrassed i was you know like when you get embarrassed you like lash out and so i just like burst out the doors i was like is anyone gonna fucking help me and then i ran into the kitchen that was like right off the side and i went in there i was like i need something to eat i need something to eat and they're like jesus christ lady and then um and then i was stuck in the i was there was no back way out of the kitchen like once i had like gained getting substance

there was no way out of the kitchen in the back i had to like walk back into the showroom and i was so embarrassed i remember they all clapped when i came out yeah like it was returning triumphant fighter like a hero so fucking embarrassing and because i was embarrassed because i knew it was returning triumphant fighter like a hero so fucking embarrassing and because i was embarrassed because i knew it was my fault like i had been starving myself i was really you know i've been anorexic before so i have a lot of like shame about that like oh your little diet like made this like you ruin the show with your little fasting thing right and so i was embarrassed of that and um and yeah and then christian Vallee was a comedian that I remember watching on Premium Blend back in the day. And he had quit comedy to become a teacher.

But he was doing comedy for the first time in like seven years that night. And he was following me. So he had to go up right after I fainted. He was like on stage when I walked back out. I'm sure he like left comedy again after that. But it was crazy. And then I've almost fainted again on stage before. Is it just a blood sugar thing?

It's a blood sugar thing. And it's weed. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like the perfect amount of weed and not eating enough and caffeine, whatever it is. You're just not getting enough oxygen to the brain. Yeah, and so I was in Montreal years and years later, and I was like, it's happening again. And that time it was so much cooler because I just knew. And I was like, leaned on the stool. And that time it was so much cooler because I just knew. And I was like,

leaned on the stool. I go, guys, I think I'm going to faint. It's not a big deal. I think I just have low blood sugar. I have to just go chug a Coke and, or do some,

and I'll be right back. And I was like, Robert Kelly, you need to come back out here. Cause he was hosting. I was like, Robert Kelly, come back out.

And I'm like waiting. And I know the green room's like downstairs. It was like this, in this old cathedral church. And so I'm waiting, I'm waiting. And then at this point, I'm like waiting. And I know the green room's like downstairs. It was like in this old cathedral church. And so I'm waiting. I'm waiting. And then at this point, I'm just like squatting on the floor. It's not a big deal.

I'll be back out. Literally. I know this is so weird for everyone. I can't even be funny about this because I'm about to pass out. And then Robert finally comes out. He later told me that he was like mid-shit. Like he thought he had like 20 minutes to like get a good shit in. And he hears, Nikki's about to faint.

You need to come back up. And he's like, there's one coming out of his ass. He has to like slice it off, suck it back up, run upstairs. Robert Kelly. It was so funny. But yeah, that was, it was just, have you guys ever felt like that's like the, that feels like bombing. I've felt like I'm going to faint on stage.

I've done like mushrooms and stuff and gotten like real wonky up there. But, or, you know, sometimes you're so nervous, your knees will start to shake. Yes. Like you'll start to perspire. And I've been like, I think I'm going to die. But I always, it's funny. I'll, I record most of my sets and then I'll listen back to them. You can't really hear any of that.

I think most of it is just me going too deep into my own head where I don't know what is real anymore. If I ever go too deep and I'm like, do you ever have like a moment? It's almost like you're on, I haven't been on mushrooms when it's happened, but sometimes, and I'd never do it. It happened like one time at the Comedy Cellar

and I said, never do that again. But I was like, oh, like everyone's listening to you right now. Everyone's quiet and you're like talking and this is real. And like, you could say anything and they're all, everyone's paying attention to you right now. Everyone's quiet and you're talking and this is real. You could say anything and everyone's paying attention to you. It's too much and it started freaking me out. I'll fixate on secrets that I shouldn't say. I'll be like, oh, I think I'm going to say that. I get into a dialogue with myself where I'm resisting blowing up my life.

It's just an anxiety thing. I do that too with live shows, like live radio. I'm like, am I going to get racist for the first time in my life? Totally. It's like Maria Bamford, Unwanted Thoughts. It really is an OCD thing. And I think she said that if you have the thought and you know it's wrong, that means that you're a good person.

She was the first person I heard talk about intrusive thoughts. But I was thinking about intrusive thoughts the other day, and I was like, what if you are just a bad person? I think I am. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts, and then I'll label them intrusive thoughts, which is such a convenience for me. Because then I can be like, oh, well, that's not really me. Yeah, I'm not. But I think we can't help our thoughts.

I don't believe in free will. So anything that you do or think, you really can't control it. And there's no dispute. You can't control your thoughts. So no matter what, you're not responsible for them. So I let myself off the hook for the things that I think. And that actually really helped me with my stand-up because I was able to start talking about things on stage that I really was so ashamed of. But it's just a thing I thought.

It's not that I did anything about it. I have a bit about when young, beautiful women die like i love it yeah less competition yeah like i like it like i'm not like actively killing them or hoping they die yeah but when there's a pretty girl that has passed who's younger than me i'm kind of like all right well i'm not like i'm not you know celebrating it but i'm there's a part of your brain that's like we did it that's like yeah we did it there's a sick part of me that's like i'd rather her be pretty than not like i'd rather like there's i'd rather her be dead than not or pretty no no i don't want them to die if someone was like you can kill a pretty person

i don't want no no no but if if someone has to die i'd rather it be a beautiful. Right. Sure. For sure. If someone has to go because I. But but that makes sense. It's not my fault that I am a species that wants to survive. What does my survival entail? Being protected, being being safe, feeling safe. What gets you protection and safety? Men, because they're stronger than you and they can fight off things. So this is like an animal instinct in my head and what do men like pretty women what is making my chances of being safe by

men too many pretty women i need to limit they need to go so it all checks out like yes that's a bad thought and it's like horrible to to be like sorry bitch but it makes sense i'm not like a bad person i just am a species that wants to survive more. I've had that about, you know, really jacked tone TikTokers. Yeah. Yeah. You want their demise. Everyone has this.

Yeah. Anyone who pretends like they don't get happy when someone's super successful or someone you're envious of has a bad thing happen to them. You're lying. There's just no one. I do wonder about that. There's no one that doesn't get enjoyment schadenfreude from someone hot or someone really successful and rich getting having a little comeuppance well the

people who can't acknowledge it what are what are the what's like the negative outcomes of not acknowledging it in yourself because because i know a lot of people who'd be like no i don't feel that way and then i'm like no you must feel that way because i feel that way but then they think i'm just projecting it makes me believe they're not they're kind of they're not as um emotionally aware of their of themselves but i guess it still works out for them they're just kind of a shittier hang because they can't be honest about their that's their shitty that's a perfect way to describe it like i don't really want to be friends with people who can't admit to the dark thoughts they have because it is it does make you feel shameful that, man, sometimes I get jealous of my friends.

There are certain things where I'm like, my friend will get good news, and I love my friend. And I'll just be like, there's a part of me that's like, I wish she wouldn't have gotten that. What the fuck? That's my friend. But I can't help it. We have to admit these parts of ourselves that we can't help. but I can't help it. This is,

we have to admit these parts of ourselves that we can't help. Oh yeah. I, I, when my anxiety was really bad, I always had intrusive thoughts of like people I love the most. I'd be scared to be around them alone. Cause I'm like, what if I just murdered them?

Totally. And then I was in an AA meeting and I said that I was like, and my sponsor was there. I was like, I was like, yeah, I just had this like crazy thought. Like, what if I just killed my brother and then he's like whoa oh he judged you he was like no yeah you're having those thoughts i was like no i'm not like it's just like i'm just

scared i'm like it's the people i love the most i'm like you're not wrong because people who murder people don't no one goes i'm I'm going to be a murderer. No one's excited about it. They just get the thought and then they do it. So you're not stupid to be scared that your brain is going to malfunction in some way. Like this is what I love. The,

the debate about like is free will a thing or not? Like, um, Sam Harris has this book called free will where I learned all about this and learn to kind of like forgive myself and forgive even murderers because they didn't choose their murderous brain like some if someone like shoots up a school and then we do an autopsy and we say oh my god they had a tumor on their pituitary gland or whatever this tumor caused them to have this malfunction we excuse it you know it wasn't their fault like yes we're

upset about it but like they didn't they were crazy they were schizophrenic whatever any time just because you can see a tumor doesn't mean everything that you do is some brain malfunction about it but like they didn't they were crazy they were schizophrenic whatever any time just because you can see a tumor doesn't mean everything that you do is some brain malfunction anything any choice that anyone has to hurt someone else is their brain telling them it's a good idea which you're just lucky if you are not born with that kind of brain like i thank the lord every day that i don't have a pedophile's brain because they just show up no one goes i can't wait to want to fuck kids i that seems like a good decision like it's just a thing you want to do and those people suffer greatly i think you know i have empathy for

people who want to fuck kids if they fuck kids fuck you right there are a lot of people out there that want to fuck kids and go like oh like they all they first of all they all at first go because i've done like a lot of research on this and i'm like kind of fascinated by the subject of it but like they find out they want to fuck kids because they're like horned up for it and they're like fuck my life is going to be hell like first of all i'm attracted to i can never have a normal relationship with the thing that i'm sexually attracted to i'm going to be ostracized from society for even this thought like i can't tell anyone i can't tell a therapist or i'm gonna be reported i can't tell anyone i have to suffer with this and i can never do the thing and so they find community with the only people that will listen to them other pedophiles and then that's how they start acting how do they find each other

dark web interesting yeah and um but at first they're all horrified by it and they're really like fuck what do i think they start greenlighting a lot of them kill themselves a lot of them like because like you they can't help with their attraction you can't just like go to a conversion camp and go oh no we're gonna get you attracted to adults like they're duggers uh there's this whole family of them no they're called um maps minor attracted persons is what uh what they're called but then there's no maps which is non-offending minor attracted persons and they want to be like a collective group of like hey guys we know we want to fuck kids but we're never going to do it and this is how we're going to help each other not fuck kids and they can't have a reddit community because it's so taboo to even

say that you want to even though it's a real thing that they can't help they can't be on they can't ever find a space to like help each other so what does that lead to? Kids getting fucked. Yeah. But my point is that I am just, my unwanted thoughts, I'm just always glad. Yeah, maybe I'm happy if a pretty girl dies, but thank God I don't want to fuck kids. Right. And none of it is really my fault. And we haven't been tried for, we can't be tried for our thoughts yet. Right. This is a little personal.

Has that made you, because I guess for me, like the people I would get, I agree with you. Like I'm kind of a determinist where I don't think we have much free will, but it's still hard for me with people in my personal life to give them that like leeway when they make a mistake with me. So has it made you like easier? More empathetic? Yeah, with the people, like if it's like a partner or if it's like a family member and they kind of betray you. It's hard I think it's both like I think at first when I first like was awoken to this

of like no one chooses who they are like even if someone like is really if a guy like in a relationship hits me like I could even kind of excuse that

he doesn't want to be a person that hits me his brain does that his dad hit his mom he saw that his brain thought that was good like his brain he's a computer

that's being programmed to hit women so i could find empathy even there um it's hard though because in the moment when you're wronged like you're just like you're a piece of shit like how do you know not like just don't hit me or whatever it is but i i find that like a week later or like a day or two later i start to like have i once i get the anger out of like being so mad at my boyfriend for whatever i start to go like he's trying his best and then i try to remember that he's just a little boy a wounded child i try to picture him as a little boy i have like a picture of him in my phone and i try to be like this boy is just trying his best he doesn't want to hurt my feelings like even if he did and even if he's kind of like doubling down on it and I'm like,

you're hurting my feelings. He's like, I know, but I'm like, I'm still like, he still doesn't really want to at the end of the day. Like he's trying his best and I think it does help me. Or,

or it could even go the other way too. Like a scorpion or the frog thing where like, if someone does wrong you, you can almost be less empathetic in a way where you'd be like, well, they're never going to change because they are that way. And no one ever changes because people don't really have the option to change. So I'm just done with you.

It could streamline that. What you can, like people, you can put, like I always say like, you know, people can change, I think. They just need to have the right tools. And someone goes, well, people always go, yeah, you're excusing that guy because he grew up in in the

slums and he his parents didn't love him and his they were crack addicts and he watched his mom get beat all the time whatever but i he i did the same i had the same life i didn't turn out that way it's like well you were born with a brain that maybe was a little bit more intelligent and could maybe think of ways to get out of this and he wasn't so don't ever think you're better than someone just because well i didn't didn't do that. I pulled myself up by my bootstraps. Well, you were just born with a brain that could do that.

Yeah, we gotta stop brain shaming. Yeah, like some people, yeah, I feel like, I think that if the right therapy and stuff, people can change, but they have to encounter it. You have to put it in front of them.

You have to like guide them to it. I found, I think a way to introduce men or people i would say who are more um less prone to go to therapy is i made this analogy for a man in my life one time which was like he was like i i think that if you go to couples therapy or whatever that means like you're broken or you're done or whatever no dude it's the best it's you get to hammer your partner with the referee there to stop you. It's awesome! I'm like, she did this and that and this. It doesn't go off the rails.

Yeah. And if it does, there's someone to... Someone's like, all right, rein it in, JT. I'm like, all right, I'm good, I'm good. I got it off. My relationship's never been stronger than when we go to therapy. I have to do it. I agree.

I think it's so great. Do you think therapy would be better if you and your therapist were naked? Whoa. No. Probably not. Why? Did that come up vulnerability just vulnerability you're so honest and transparent i feel like i'm so vulnerable anyway like gp my therapist dude in his 70s yeah but i would feel too i would feel like 60 60. one time my friend she was seeing a therapist as a male therapist and she was talking about like hooking up with the guy. She was like, and I was on top of him, like riding him. And she heard her therapist just go.

Like he like gulped. Like took a breath. It was Lizzie Cooperman. She's so funny. But she. Yeah, she's very funny. It was so funny. She was like, I can't see him anymore.

Because I could hear him like kind of get turned on by the story. So, yeah, I don't know about the naked thing. I just feel like I'm already pretty vulnerable in there. I don't need anything to get that out of me. But I think that a lot of people do. Do you ever lie to a therapist? No. Yeah, me neither.

What would be the point of that? That's what I'm saying. I have friends who are like, I've never told the truth to a therapist. I always end up lying. I'm like, why would you do that i guess they want weird the whole point of a therapist to me is it's someone whose approval i don't want it's like yeah i can afford to be my worst self with them that's totally true like that's whatever i do ads for better help or whatever i'm like it's someone that you don't have to like you don't care you

don't care about them they you don't have to check in to be like they're not a person i don't know their backstory i don't know it doesn't matter if they don't like you it doesn't but there are people that are such people pleasers that i guess they go in there and that is so insane to me no you can't do that it would what would be the point i mean i do i think there is a part of me that's had therapists that i'm there was an older therapist i had that was like a a mother figure that i wanted her approval desperately and never got it my dad had a chick therapist and was like yeah i think she likes me like he was like he was real like i don't know what you pervy i guess about it not pervy because he wasn't saying like gross but he was not coming at it from perspective of this lady's here to help me he was thinking of it from

perspective of like oh it's a lady i gotta make her like that must happen all the time i gotta make her crush her like hot female therapist female therapists. Probably, yeah. Of like male clients. Like I don't want to say. Yeah, they're like, I was on my boat last week and I'm just talking about this thing. My dick is just too big. Yeah, I've been hurting people out there. Yeah. I got to be careful with this thing. Well, hurt people hurt people.

Yeah, I love therapy. I mean, but yeah, I always just say to men, like, if you, like, why do you go to the, why do you get a trainer? If you, like, there's weights, why don't, because people go, you should just know how to be a human. And it's like, but why do you go see a guy? If there's weights and you have muscles, like, just go lift it. Why do you have to have someone tell you how to do things? Could maybe someone be an expert at something that you could probably do on your own too?

Yes. Tutelage. Yeah, it helps. I mean i mean they're not all great a lot of them are horrible i had one where he would fall asleep no he you know he did his lunch he's he's bigger guy he'd be eating a pickle and i'd be like yes my dad but but also i i've only been in therapy like for like a month or two that's cool but they just kept saying like it's your dad it's your dad i'm like okay got it like i was like i don't know what you do yeah and he's like well we just we just ripped you open now we gotta you know and you're like i'm kind of fine but i'm like you keep saying the same thing i'm like all right copy chief like i don't know where to go. I agree with you.

That's where you're like, I think I got to do ayahuasca or something and heal this shit. Have you done that? Uh-uh. Have you? I want to try. I know. I think that's the next thing. Guys, I am interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that we are on tour.

We are freaking on tour. We got Strider and I will be at the Grand Comedy Club Escondido this Friday. We're also going to be at New York City, November 8th. Tickets are going fast. Bell House, Brooklyn, what up? Varsity Theater, Minneapolis, one show as well. Tickets are going fast for that too, guys. So get on it.

That's November 16th. Then we got Detroit, November 17th and 19th. Then we got early December november 17th and 19th then we got early december comedy works denver guys get your tickets at chad and jt.com we also have merch that's available now get your stoke here thank you to everyone who's bought some guys it's it's custom dyes high quality it's good stuff brings the stoke get your merch now shop.chadjt.com we're also brought to you by the legends at blue chew blue chew if you want to have a fat fat sturdy hog in the b room get on blue chew today because guys let's talk about boning summer's here summer's not here we're in the fall right now it's spooky season if you want to have a spooky spooky reno that's boner backwards get on blue chew it's a

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let's get back to the show i just heard i was watching the today show today and jada pickett smith said that was the reason why oh should we talk about her yeah that's why she um she like was suicidal and then she did ayahuasca and was like i don't have to think those thoughts anymore and i was kind of like, oh, wait a second. I have those thoughts. What were her thoughts? Just suicidal thoughts? She had suicidal thoughts for the first time in her life and she was like, it was really fucked up. I didn't know what to do about it. It was at a time

when there was no mental... I know. I've been kind of not liking Jada Pickett's book lately and I go, oh, wait a second. I gotta apply this to her. She can't help that she's crazy. Yeah, she can't help her brain. And that she's a narcissist. Yeah. Yeah.

Like she can't, she's just that way. And like, it's not gonna change. And, but yeah, she, ayahuasca I would love to do.

And I would, cause it's like therapy fast. Do you, cause you're sober, right? Yeah. I mean, I smoke weed a little. You smoke weed.

Yeah. So you dabble in like hallucinogenics? I mean, I've done microdosing, but I've never tripped. It starts to happen and I go, nope, I don't like that. I overpower it. Do you find that happens when you're tripping?

I've microdosed as well. I've only really tripped a few times. I've had one bad trip. That was because my buddy, he got like he's like these are oregon blue caps i'm like sweet and i'm like how many do i take he's just like just eyeball it and you know when he takes shrooms like it takes like 45 minutes yes i start tripping in like 10 minutes and then my brother comes home and i didn't want him to know so then i just i like literally just like blacked out and i woke up like tied to a chair

and uh i thought he was bart simpson trying to kill me oh my god and then there's a weird part that i kind of remember i was like laying on the couch just being like crazy yeah and i was like pulling my dick out a little bit and he's just looking at me that's normal we haven't really talked about it since god it was like 15 years ago or seen each other yeah yeah yeah we haven't seen each other oh my god

it sounds like a bad dream it was horrible again like when you have a bad dream you wake up and you go thank god that didn't happen and that just sounds like it's one of those

where like yeah you're playing with your dick yeah from your brother it's normal on mushrooms it makes you into like it kind of puts you into your primal

gorilla self so I think I think you just want to flash dong I mean he's older than me and when he showed me his pubes for the first time i was it was like one of those defining moments where i was like wow yeah you had to puke him back a little bit he was more of a man than me you gotta even the score oh yeah that was you that was me just being like i have a dick too i have pubes now too yeah that too I thought you were the only one and also how much older was he than you

two years okay yeah 35 years old god boys are so excited when they get pubes yeah I saw him I was like

holy fuck I remember yeah when I first got it's scary at first because you just get like a few rando ones I got some like peach fuzz

I was like I think that's it god it's so funny to be excited about that I think As a girl I was like Sorry go ahead

No We would lie Because some guys Are also able to ejaculate Before other guys So you start lying about it At school You're like

No I can ejaculate But I couldn't But I'd be like I can ejaculate What? Yeah and you fake it To your bros What?

So they can fit in Yeah Oh my god I felt like I had heard that Jerking off you guys Like didn't talk about in front of each other. No, we did it together.

You would. Yeah, big group hangs. I heard that happens a little bit, yeah. No, a lot, a lot. That's so cool. It's pretty awesome. We would have done that. And I got to be honest, it makes me nostalgic.

I miss it. It'd be too weird now with me and my 35-year-old bros. But why is it weird? Why is it not weird to go to a strip club with your guy friends? I think that is weird actually. It's weird for me to see my friends be horny. It's so weird.

When I see their faces horny I'm I guess you just get to a certain age where you just you're not comfortable with the name

where it's too vulnerable but like I've been at strip clubs where I just see dudes like like where they get intense and you're like It's my favorite thing because it's like

a weakened man. Yeah. Like it just like I just see I just I think it's like a weekend man. Yeah. Like it just, like I just see, I just, I think it's like so funny. You guys just look so vulnerable when you're horny

and it just, I love that. That's why I like going to strip clubs. I don't like, I don't like like having to deal with strippers but I wish I could just like

be quiet. Just observe. Yeah, and just watch men kind of like. Like a one way mirror and just look at people. Like their mouths

like kind of getting drool like on their lip because it's just like open and just like, ugh. Just a horny dude makes it so funny to me. My first time at a strip club, I saw a mailman there and he was just like, oh. Still in his mailman outfit?

Still in his mailman outfit, yeah. He might have been a male stripper who took a break. Dude, yeah. Now that I think about it. You know what's funny? When I first got the sex talk from my mom when she explained ejaculating to me i thought it was like a you know like a frog how it catches a fly with its tongue and then come back i thought thing comes out of your dick pops the egg and then retracts that'd be cooler right that'd be a lot

like a little thing that like. Way less clean up. That's like way more functionally sophisticated and like kind of badass. Like an anteater's tongue. Yeah. Than goo, yeah. That's so funny. That almost goes with like a karate stance or something.

Now you don't, you would never think as a mom like, and I will have to explain, it stays out of his body. Like. Right. It's like all the things that you can just kind of skip gloss over

and you are like, I mean, that's gotta be so disturbing though. The first time you ejaculate, it's like all the things that you can just kind of skip gloss over and you are like i mean that's got to be so disturbing though the first time you ejaculated it's just and if you don't see it coming if you don't know about it i've been waiting for it for so long yeah i the same with my period like all my friends had gotten theirs before mine so i knew exactly what to do i was like an old grizzled vet when i got my i was like 15 and a half and i was like first period never went through pads like i'm scared I was just like putting a tampon like blindly like I was

I knew what I was doing because I was such a late bloomer but I think the first person like the girls who bleed and they don't know what's happening they always think they're dying

I mean to not tell a young girl this is something that might happen to you is so nuts that they have to like figure that out on their own but I think ejaculate

is the same way of like what is this this thing I'm already like no I have to do in private now I have to like figure that out on their own but i think ejaculate's the same way of like what is this this huge this thing i'm already like no i have to do in private now i have to like now there's evidence everywhere yeah well when i was a kid i was in like first grade i like had a crush on my first grade teacher and i didn't so cute i didn't understand that like because you know you'd like rub down there and you're like i was like it feels good like i don't know yeah it just feels and some i would just like you know kind of in my sleep or like waking up just like do that and my brothers would always make fun of me like he's twirling again and i was just like i don't know like it just yeah it's just nice i'm in like first grade and my teacher's hot i don't

wait were you thinking about your teacher in third grade or in first grade? First grade, yeah. As you twirled? Yeah. Whoa. I was twirling. I don't want to say your name, but yeah. Yeah. You're a protector. Oh, my God. You're a protector. But what an innocent time to just be like, it feels good.

I'm just going to do it and not have any shame about it yet. Oh, so great. They shamed me. Oh, yeah. It happens fast. It happens in one moment. Yeah. And then you're like.

But it was just like compulsive. You're like, oh, this is like something I have to do. Yeah. You got to do it. My family was all green lights. They were like, yeah, man, that's what, that's the shit right there. You got to do that. Yeah.

My parents were weird. They're like, that's the shit. Yeah. You got to do that shit. And I was like, is it okay? They're like, fuck yes. Okay. Man.

They're like, that's the best part of life, man. Go nuts. And I was like, oh yeah, dude. I remember when you got the sex talk, they called it a load. Yeah. My dad was like, dude, you just want to find as many got the sex talk, they called it a load. Yeah, my dad was like, dude, you just want to find as many honeys as possible to keep busting willy-nilly.

My mom was like just raising the roof behind him. It was just pure amp in the house. That's wild. Did you get a sex talk? No. My parents, you know, they kind of did it. My parents were very much like it takes a village too. Like they were very open about that stuff,

but they were never like, we're like, all right, this is the talk. They were more like, he'll pick it up in in pieces and they also showed me a lot of like they played me porn they did have porn tapes so sometimes i'd find those but like but they also they we watched a lot of like rated r movies so i kind of picked it up from that which is weird because in movies there's always like a psychosexual component where it's like it's never like just like a husband and a wife having boring sex you know it's like a murderer who's like yeah falling in love with uh like his captor yeah and she's actually kind of falling in love with him so

there's always like weird brain stuff attached to it that i was like oh maybe that's normal and i feel like there's residual uh absolutely like kind of weirdness that's been instilled in my brain yes i think i i'm totally fucked up from movies of like you know um i think that i for at first i always thought sex happens like against a wall and you have to be like like you have right there was a lot of stand-up sex in movies and there's it's always out of breath immediately like that doesn't slow it's always just like attacking each other So that always felt like it was, like, that natural thing. And then I think what really fucked me up was rom-coms. Like, I really loved the, like, I like the chase.

Like, I like having a crush on someone and then, like, will they, won't they? And then. Driving through the streets with, like, Gimme Summer Love and playing, like, through traffic. Yes. Like, running through airports um them being with someone else and you or you know planning their wedding and yet you're in love with him and he's in love with you like that kind of thing it's always a little fucked up yeah and and then by the time you get together credits there's no after i have no i have nothing to no one's told me how to be

in a relationship it's always been the chase and then you get together and there's that great moment where you first get together and then and then there's nothing so I once I I think for a while once I would get that

I would just be like okay well like we need to make a new movie like no one wants to see this now yeah that's so interesting because like from your perspective it's the chase

and then for guys it's like when they watch rom-coms they're like I need to do the big gesture like I need to I gotta go big yeah and girls don't even want that exactly where they're like i need to like beg for her love yeah that's really setting a poor example because that's the last thing girls want is a guy that wants them dude we had this like there was this nerdy guy at my high school who watched all those

rom-coms and he would and then we had this beautiful girl in my school who like wouldn't even date anyone at the school she was so beautiful Like she was waiting for like a tycoon or something. And then he showed, he showed up at her, at her lawn with the boom box and did the say anything to her. She just like looked out her window. It was like, what are you doing?

And I think it did. I think those rom-coms did kind of give guys an idea where they're like, no matter who she is, even if she's like way out of your weight class, if you do the romantic thing, you'll win her heart. That's really sad. And then a

lot of guys they you know they're like fuck that didn't work yeah i mean i there are guys that used to do that stuff for my friend who was really really pretty and they would that was hilarious i thought you were gonna say for you and then right hand turn hell no no always my friend um and it never worked and one guy eventually killed himself because she wouldn't love him. That's hilarious. Isn't that a funny twist? Yeah. Why did he kill him? Because she wouldn't love him.

Oh, bro. I'm sorry to laugh about it. David, wherever you are, you fucking idiot. Love you, dude. It sucked, dude. I'm smiling because I have to laugh because it was so tragic. But yeah, it was my best friend. This guy was obsessed with her. And he was her best friend, too. And she was like, I just like you as a friend. And it was getting to the point where it was so tragic but um yeah it was my best friend this guy was like obsessed with her and then um and he was like her best friend too and she was like i just like you as a friend and it was getting

to the point where it's just like the friend zone it ended his life yeah but it wasn't you know like it was a combination of things but like did he leave her a note on her porch being like this is your fault no really here's the here's the corsage from the dance that we went to as friends oh is she okay yes isn't that amazing she's? She's so, she's like thriving. She got over it pretty quick? No, it took a while. Like she, she's still like, obviously like suffers from the residual,

but she's like, she is okay. She's probably my like healthiest friend mentally out there. Do you think when he like got to heaven, God was like, dude, are we the friends now? Yeah, he's toughen up a little bit. Got some Andrew Tate videos for you. Yeah, you can come in, but you're kind of a bitch. You've got to chill, dude.

We've got some pretty girls up here. You've got to be relaxed. We had to have regretted it. He was about to go to college, dude. They weren't even going to go. It would have been a whole new group of women. I feel like people like that, it's always going to end that way. He was very romantic.

There's a hot person tax in life that your friend experienced. I had a friend, Ryan, who we actually met because I challenged him to a fight because he was, like, tough. And he just annihilated me. And he almost killed me. And he felt really bad because he didn't want to fight me. He almost killed you? Yeah. He beat you that bad? He just hit me once.

I went down and hit my head on concrete. But it's all right. But then he felt horrible. But it wasn't his fault. Right. You were the that started it yeah and he was but he was a great guy and then he went to college and this pretty girl really liked him and they slept together he didn't know the girl had a boyfriend and then the boyfriend killed himself because of my buddy ryan and so my buddy ryan like his whole life has just been this cool guy that has not ever intentionally done anything wrong but then people keep getting hurt as a

result of just him being so awesome he's like tall poppiness or whatever and then uh and i always think about him where i'm like whoa it's just like you didn't mean to do anything you're just being yourself but all these accidents are happening yeah i mean the the friend i was talking about another guy did the same thing later on in her life and i'm not even joking you i wasn't gonna say it until you said that but like it happened two years ago that she met a guy through work who she was friends with and she's at this point was married and he was like so in love with her and um and yeah he uh he od'd and like left her a final message being and like had no idea about the previous one and i'm like are you this this is what you know what's weird i'm very curious about your friend now i'm like she is amazing she's hot she's cool

she's the funniest she's like my funniest you know what i was like i was yeah she really is incredible but uh and she she was kind of like why does this keep happening to me like you know not saying it like that like sobbing about it like is there something wrong with me and i'm like honestly as someone i'm i'm a pretty depressed person and i can be suicidally depressed sometimes and i like i think that being suicidal is like there's like it's it's almost like having cancer like i think of anthony bourdain is having like the terminal version of what i have like i'm i have the same disease as him like i have those same thoughts like we joke about it just as much in press interviews like if i ever do that to

myself there's gonna be a litany of like, we should have seen it coming. And I'll be like, yeah, you should have. But, um, cause you look back at all Anthony Bourdain stuff and it was like,

oh, he's talked about killing himself all the time, but I'm not, I have a preventative, you know, like I'm actively trying not to do that. And like, I don't,

I don't want it to end that way. So, but I feel like I, I have whatever these, these boys also had that killed himself, killed themselves over her. And I'm like, as someone who has the same diseases,

those guys, I told my friend, I'm like, you're just someone like that makes us kind of forget about our pain. And like, who like makes us feel really special and like wants us to stick around. So if anything, I think you're just someone that depressed people are attracted to because you give us reason to live.

And it's not because of you that they kill themselves. It's because of you that they maybe lasted longer is how I see it. Because she is someone that you're just like, oh, my God, I can't believe she's my friend. She's amazing. But if she ever doesn't want to be friends with me, I'll kill myself. It's a little higher power. I'm just kidding. Yeah.

Yeah, it is. She's like the cure for whatever's ailing you. Yeah, I think she's not the cause of it. It just so happens that depressed people are attracted to a person like her. And she could save us. Yeah, for a little bit. Like it'd make them feel less alone, make them feel less judged, make them feel less weird about like their weird thoughts.

Because like talk about intrusive thoughts. I used to feel so ashamed that I would have thoughts to kill myself. And, you know, like last month. Now I have no shame about it, and I talk about it openly. But a couple years ago, my life was pretty good. I was successful, rich, all the things, and still was like, I want to die a lot of times. And I felt so ashamed. But then I talked about it on Rogan once during one of the times where I was like, I couldn't even pretend I was okay.

on rogan once during a during one of the times where i was like i couldn't even like pretend i was okay and um the amount of people that wrote to me and were like i have the same thoughts like no one's ever said this it was like so many people think about killing themselves i have no shame about talking about it anymore because i know most people not most people but probably at least 10 percent of people have regular suicidal thoughts and it doesn't mean you're gonna do it what do you do to combat it i um i talk about it like i say like i say the dark thought and like disturb all of my friends and make all my family like worried and at this point they like kind of know like they can right crazy things she just needs to get it out but honestly exercising like getting out going outside grounding like walking on the fucking grass like do you ever think about how much you don't walk on grass? You guys probably –

Yeah, we do 24 hours a day. Yeah, but I haven't gone months with just wearing shoes outside. And then inside, I'm in a building that has no connection to earth. So that's bullshit. It sounds like bullshit, but it's true. And then getting on meds. What do you take? mine's add related my depression and so i i take meds as needed like if i'm having a really depressed day stimulation you

kind of just uh default to a depressive state what it is it's like i really like weed for my depression which actually exacerbates it makes it worse long term yeah like my joke is that like whenever i'm depressed i can smoke some weed and i instantly feel anxious like that's like it's you just go from one to the other but anxiety is much easier for me than depression to function um but i um so weed will sometimes get me out of it and i was talking to my therapist or you know a psychiatrist about it because i have so much shame about like why do i like weed so much like it makes me stupider it makes me slower it makes me kind of dumb like and they were saying well it's your add because it's like you want anxiety because anxiety makes you makes your like you focus and you can focus when things seem like dire like you're gonna die and then all of a sudden i'm like i need to

get shit done like when i smoke weed i can like go for a run. I'll clean my apartment. I'll write. I'm like, I need to do this. In the long term, I start to get lazy and forgetful and all of those things. But I think, yeah, my ADD makes me hyper-focus on bad stuff. I don't know what it is. But for whatever reason, ADD meds are the only thing that have been able to snap me out of those thoughts. Did you have as many suicidal thoughts when you were less successful or have they gotten more pronounced as you've gotten more successful i think that's interesting

question i think i started having suicidal thoughts when i was in like third or fourth grade so it's like been that's very precocious i know right don't you think it's a symptom of intelligence too i honestly do i would like to pat myself on the back a little bit. I'm kind of, when you said that, I was like, that's pretty sick. I just like knew. Like you're smoking a cigarette in your third grade class and the kids are like, you want to go to the jungle gym? And you're like, do you understand there's a war in Boston right now? Do you even care? I just like, I think you're right.

Like I kind of like, I think it's just, I'm depressed because I see the state of the world. I realize I'm not that important in it. And like nothing I do really matters in the end and yeah I have a kind of existential crisis and I'm like I might as well just die and I think it's low self esteem issues was the main catalyst of it and I think that has only gotten worse as more

TV and attention more people judging, more people critiquing more people liking me also or being like I can't get this thing because of this reason the more people that like you the more people judging more yeah more people liking me yeah also it's like or being like i can't get this thing because of this reason or this thing because the more people that like you the more people don't like you and so like i think that or the more you risk losing the people that like you and so i think that's it's probably gotten worse and i think just like changes in hormones aging kind of death being like on the horizon now a little bit as i'm approaching 40

um yeah i think it's gotten worse, but it's also the, I've become so good at like combating it and knowing also, I think the best way to overcome it is knowing that it will go away. Cause most of the time I can't even relate to a suicidal thought. I'd be like, what the fuck? Like,

I can't even imagine thinking that. And so I always try to remember that when I'm in those thoughts of like, just know you'll get back to a place where this will seem insane was uh do you think having those thoughts was a huge part of your drive like like driving for success to get those thoughts out maybe yeah because i think they were all based upon like if i can't be on tv and like a performer or like famous i think was used to be the goal when i was like young young young young um i'll kill myself like i don't see the point of life like that's all i want to do is be jennifer aniston or whatever it was yeah and then so yeah if this doesn't happen then i'm gonna it was a drive of like this is the only way i'm not going

to kill myself i i had that we had a show come out and it was like i had thoughts of like you know or even before that like yeah if this doesn't work out then death is the only option yes you know because there's something especially in entertainment where you're like you're like well if i if i get to a certain point then fail you only get one shot that's worse than don't miss your yeah there's one shot and then that's worse than death yes you know what i mean and so i was like i was like well i guess the only option is death i think you guys are right yeah yeah it's like it feel but then you start to have failures of shows like your did your show get a second season no probably not see we're so like delusional we're like it still might but it's been like a year now i think yeah so it's probably not but like all the people on netflix who greenlit our show who are now fired did you talk to them

did you talk to you have like no contact production companies in england it's nice though that if the people that were in charge of your show got fired because it doesn't mean they got fired because of your show. That also is an excuse for why it might not be coming back. Only that because there are successful, very successful shows that the people that made them get fired and the new people come in and they're like, we don't want to do these step kids. I don't want to raise this thing that I didn't start.

So you get it. But yeah, I think that I'm glad that you just expressed that thought because I used to always feel that way but now I've had so many shows only like come and go I realize that no one remembers

or cares and no one is like no one's like oh my god look how sad it was when she was excited about the show like F Boy Island

it's in season 3 right now on the CW and we it's the only show I've ever I've done like 5 shows in my career and it's the only one that's made I've done like five shows in my career and it's the only one that's made it to season three

and the other like were barely two it was like one and a half not safe for work did that go that was like one it was like two yeah but it was really like one like it's never gone three because it's so fucking hard to have anything do well and the show that did well for me is F Boy Island it's like

who the fuck knows it's like you can't predict these things i'm not i'm not depressed anymore because of things not working out in in the business like i don't really really i don't need to be any more successful than this like i i think things i get depressed about now are just like i don't even know i'm trying to think of what i get depressed about now. I guess it's just aging and like feeling like losing, losing, because losing my valuableness to the world in terms of like, you know, being a woman, being attractive, like that slowly going away is like depressing because you do get a little bump

in your life if you're like a print a fuckable girl of course how could you not it sounds like the best like i'll think about it like where i'll go to a grocery store and like no one will try to fuck me and i was like dude if i was a pretty girl like two people they might not fully try to fuck but they would have looked at me and been like just like helpful yeah and they just yeah they look at you the world's nice to you just even looking at you and i know that a lot of fat girls like get leered at and it's like, it's obnoxious. No, it's too much. It's too much.

Yeah. But like, I just remember hearing that like, oh, I read some book written by a fat person about like the fat experience and how people don't look at them because they don't want to like, if you see a really, really fat person, you don't want to shame them. But then they never get looked at. And it's like, they walk around feeling like, so so it's like you should look at fat people in the eyes like or like there should be like a store where they can walk through little people there's like employees who like objectify you just a little bit yeah for like yeah so i think that's

probably it is like feeling like invisible to the world yeah and like that's when you start to go like what's the point of me even being here? And so then you just got to find some kind of worth elsewhere. It sucks too. That volunteering, I think, helps. It's too much attention and then it's not enough. It's like there's a very short sweet spot where it's the right amount of leering and attention. I think Taylor Swift gets fucking depressed. I know she does.

She wrote a song about it, Antiheroes, about her depression. And I'm like, about what, bitch? Who has a more perfect life? But it's not. The pressure on her is immense. She doesn't get to go anywhere without hordes of people weighing in on her life and objectifying her and screaming at her. And it's mostly love. But like in that is a lot of hate too.

And also being loved by strangers. This kind of does not feel. And she's like a boss. She's running like her business is like a billion dollar organization she must have like 500 employees and she might she probably has to fire people every other week yeah that's a good point too or maybe she has someone who does fire people for yeah but even telling them like hey fire this person it's like that email it's like hard to write indenting right and stuff um yeah it's like it's i think everyone's uh susceptible to have you met

her no yeah yeah i have i have yeah i met her on the red tour so it was long before i was like a fan i was just like i was kind of like the person that gets brought to our shows who like doesn't even know like their girlfriend or whatever is a fan and they're just like this is cool i just remember being at the show like huh we got like free tickets i had an mtv show at the time we got free tickets and i just was like this is really cool like wow she's a big she's like up on this thing singing around and i was like hmm i and i was like i think this is kind of my thing and then i it's like percolated and then uh her album 1989 came out and then i was like greatest this is my identity like i just had a moment i don't know if you guys have ever been like obsessed with a pop artist or an artist before where like one song you

just kind of go holy shit what song was it style it was blank space for whatever reason like that song like i was just like i think this is gonna be my new thing and i've always been someone like yeah i just like i don't know and then from there on, it was like, it's been a wild ride. But I always used to, I was obsessed with Wilco in the same way for a while. I was obsessed with Dave Matthews Band in high school. Interesting. Like, I kind of latched myself to. Do you see any parallels between Wilco and T-Swift?

Yes, absolutely. Just really, like, emotional. Catchy acoustic stuff? Emotional. Right. You know what, Wilco album I love is the one they did

with Billy Bragg where they covered all those Woody Guthrie songs. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like California Stars. Yeah, those songs are really good. Yeah, I just like emotions.

And what's the other one that's like, I think it's Woody Guthrie's voice on it. Oh, really? I don't know that one that well. It's like, never seen a boy

quite so ugly. I don't know that one. I'm gonna look like, uh, never seen a boy quite so ugly. I don't know that one. I'm gonna look it up while we talk about something. Yeah. I, when I was a kid, it was Michael Jackson. Yes.

It's tough to talk about now. I don't think it is because his talent is just so undeniable. I still, I still watch his stuff. You should because I don't know. The bad tour? It doesn't. Way over here.

Yeah. We know what he did. Yeah. What he did. Allegedly. The bad tour? It doesn't. Way over your honor. Yeah, we know what he did. Yeah. What he did. Allegedly. He like licked little boys' assholes. What? Is that what he actually did?

Dude, yeah. What a freak. If you listen to like. I never watched the documentary. Oh, dude. That was his choice, man. It's not his brain. That was his choice.

No, dude. His brain wanted him to do it. No, it's his choice. But he didn't stop it. But if he didn't have the power in his brain to stop it. He's licking butthole. Dude, it's so disgusting. But for me, the enjoyment of his music is not predicated on him not looking little boy's assholes.

I don't need to. The music's good. The music's really good. It's good. It's good songs. But then there are certain artists where I go, because of what he did, I can't really buy this love song anymore. There's a betrayal there. I can't help it. My brain can't help it that I excuse Michael. I don't excuse

it, but it doesn't get in the way of me enjoying his music as much as it does. It is when the crime is in such contrast to what they're purporting to be it's worse. When there is like more of a kind of dissonance there. Like if someone in their music is like I'm a pervert and then they turn out that

they're a real life pervert, you're like well yeah it's too much but it's close it's close to what they were saying yes whereas like someone like cosby's like i'm a really good guy and then you're like you're the biggest piece of shit that ever fucking that's that's where it really fucks with you it's like it crosses more yeah but michael michael i don't know why it just never i'm so gross and i love to like talk about it and like remind people what a fucking disgusting piece of shit he was. But the music is good, man. It's the best music ever.

That's the thing. Like talent is undeniable and will really excuse anything if you're talented enough. Well, like R. Kelly, I'm fine not listening to his music. Yeah. And I'm like, and when you listen to it now, you're like, oh, it's just kind of a dirt bag. Or he's a huge dirt bag. Yeah. oh he's just kind of a dirtbag or he's a huge dirtbag yeah with with michael you're kind of like well he was just like an insane freakishly talented kind of genius whose brain was just fucked he was like oh yeah of abuse himself and like and having his childhood stolen and him being

obsessed like i really think he thought what he was doing was not bad which a lot of pedophiles don't think they don't think that what they do is bad. They think the kids enjoy, like they have all these fucking excuses. I mean, it's disgusting. I've actually, I go to SAA, so I've heard people with that. I went to one of those meetings.

I've never been hornier in my life. Really? Oh, did you go to SLA or did you go to SAA? Maybe I went to SLA. Yeah, SLA gets flirted. I can't go there because there's like, it's pretty gals and dudes and I can tell everyone I went to SLA. Yeah, SLA gets flirted. I can't go there because there's like, it's pretty gals and dudes

and I can tell everyone. It's like that. Yeah. What is SA? It's just all dirty dudes. Okay. But what if you're a gay dude? I feel for them

because I think it's harder because when I hear about how much they have to kind of push back in terms of their options and stuff, I'm like, man, if I was in that spot,

it would be tough. Yeah. When it's all just dirty kind of weird straight guys, you're like, oh, that's not. Oh, that's good. That's way more helpful. Because that meeting I went to, I thought I was like a love addict. And I probably do have like, and I can be a sex addict sometimes like in my life. But like, it's not my.

It's not your bread and butter. I mean, bread and butter is my food. And then like a pot and alcohol. But yeah, going to that one meeting, I'm like, I don't know how they're going to tackle this. Because it really felt like the same way like being a food addict sucks. It's like you can't stop eating. No, it's a basic need. And this is something that you're going to be surrounded with forever.

And I feel bad for sex addicts. My heart goes out becauseinder is like a grocery store that is like free food for like a food you know what i mean like it's just it's it's it's crazy out there and it's and it's normal for most people it's not like like no one's like a normal heroin user but sex and food are very normalized normalized yeah you eat and encouraged yeah that's why the thing with sex addicts which i do think is true too i think people like overdiagnose themselves now but people be like i'm a sex addict then people like everyone's a sex addict boy you like sex that's just we all like sex and you're just making excuse for being

a cheater yeah i'm like i'm like well this guy like also like uh i i get where people come from when they don't think sex addiction is real but i've heard dudes talk about their lives and i'm like no like this guy like risked the safety of his family to like go to a strip club in like the middle of the day and was like his body was shaking and he was like crying while he was there i'm like it's a different scale you can be addicted to anything people that say like pot's not addictive go fuck yourself like you don't know what like of course it is you can be addicted to anything and like i definitely find myself like when i'm really anxious smoke a little weed okay now i'll jerk off now i'm gonna order food okay what do i do now i'll jerk off

again oh wait it's too soon i'm not ready to do that again i'll smoke a little more like just of course it's one of those things and it's a side yeah it sucks too because that sounds like a nice day it sounds like a great day especially if you're busy like that's a nice day off but the tough part is you can't leave it at that day then it becomes the next day and the next day Especially if you're busy. Like, that's a nice day off. But, the tough part is you can't leave it at that day. Then it becomes the next day and the next day

and then you're like, fuck, man. Yeah. If only I knew how to put bumpers on this thing. I, so you met

Chad Kroger of Nickelback. Yes, I did. And I tagged you in a picture with him. And,

how was how was it meeting Chad Kroger he was so nice yeah he's like have you met him yet I think we talked about this

you haven't it's a dream he's he talked about you on Mario Lopez though he knows oh really yeah

and we saw I saw him from a distance at the Morongo oh wow did an acoustic set that was fun it was sick

no he's amazing. Nickelback's great. Yeah. I did like a show with them. Yeah, I was the only comic on this show with all these. It was like John Mayer, Nickelback, Sammy Hagar, the guy from REO Speedwagon. It was like all the music that you hear when you're at the dentist.

It was a mix of that. Paul Abdul. It was crazy, but Nickelback was there. What an eclectic lineup. It was crazy. When are you going to hear all those people on the same lineup? But it was at this benefit in Vegas. And yeah, he was so nice and cool.

And they were amazing. And he was funny. And yeah, he was a fan. It was really, he was, I like anyone who likes me. So of course, I'm going to love him. Yeah, we saw him acoustic and he was a fan. It was really, he was, I like anyone who likes me. So of course I'm going to love him. Yeah. Yeah. We saw him acoustic and he was amazing.

You saw, I saw him for like Rockstar. He sang Rockstar. But you saw, what'd you see him for? I saw him do a somewhere, somewhere, sometime, gonna make it away. I forget the name, but that's how it goes. And then he did uh and then he he didn't do yeah that was it and then i heard him talk a lot yeah that was a terrible description yeah it wasn't that great but neither was mine i was like he was nice there's not much to say he

was yeah he was just a really cool person like yeah you meet so many people and they're like they think they're hot shit especially rock stars right but he just seemed to be like a normal dude i think they've taken so much shit over the years that they're kind of... I view them as they're kind of on this Nicolas Cage route where they're kind of a joke and then everyone's like, oh, wait, no, they're legends.

I know. I love that they're having this resurgence now where they've been made fun of for so long. They deserve it. They do deserve it. They do. They've got to wait 25 years. Do you know how they became a joke it was like remember that show tough crowd with colin quinn sure yeah okay they ran a promo in the early 2000s maybe mid aughts like that um featured brian posain like saying some joke of like i went to a show and i want my nickelback or something like right and and making fun of

nickelback as a bad band. And it played so much on Comedy Central during a time when Comedy Central was the network. And after that, they became a laughingstock. And it was just because of one joke. There was some article on Vulture or something that dissected, like, why do we make fun of Nickelback? Like the origin of it? That's a really good article. It was just one, like, promo that ran all the time on Comedy Central of Brian Posehn making a joke about them.

Wow. Posehn must have tremendous guilt over that. I want to talk to him. I know, right? How do you feel? That is a documentary I would watch. He changed the trajectory of these guys' lives. Yeah.

I have to go, actually, to Mario Lopez right now. You're going to Mario Lopez right now? Yeah, I'm kind of nervous. I've never met him. Oh, well, he's awesome. I've never met him either. Yeah, he is awesome. I've never met him either. He is awesome.

He just turned 70 or something. Yeah. All right, well, thank you for coming by. Thank you for having me. This is so fun. Watch FBoy Island. Oh, yeah, yeah, FBoy Island. Season three

and Nikki Glaser podcast. That's the podcast I have two times a week. Should we keep cruising to our beefs and babes and stuff? Yeah, what time is it? It's 1220, I think. Yeah, I have to leave like now.

Okay. I'm so sorry. Watch FBoy Island season three. Thank you. Where can they find FBoy Island? It's 1220, I think. Yeah, I have to leave like now. Get it, get it. I'm so sorry. Watch FBoy Island season three. Thank you. Where can they find FBoy Island? Is it on Max? CW. CW?

Yeah, yeah. Great channel. Yeah, it's a great channel. Really? Dawson's Creek kid, yeah. Oh, yeah, it is. It's old WB, yeah. And then on tour, yeah, your standup is great.

Thank you. It's so fun to watch. Oh, my God. Thanks so much. That means so much to me. No, yeah. Well, I saw you at the improv. Yeah. And I God. Thanks so much. That means so much to me. No, yeah. Well, I saw you at the improv. Yeah.

And I've seen you at the laugh act before. I saw your set, too. Likewise. Oh, thank you. I was like, you're so good. Oh, thank you. Yeah, we both had that moment of like, whoa, you're legit. It's nice to have.

I look forward to seeing yours, too, and having that same conversation with you. Oh, yeah, someday. Someway. That's when you're supposed to put your hand on mine. Oh, sorry. Yeah, can't wait. Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Thank you. All right. Thanks, guys. Yeah, thank you for wait. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Thank you. All right. Thanks, guys. Yeah, thank you for coming by. Enjoy Mario. All right, Cash Money. Who's your Beef of the Week?

Yeah, I like that name. Yeah. My Beef of the Week. Well, I discussed this in a clip, but it really hit close to home. You know, these people are floating the idea of getting rid of the palm trees in LA and in California because they want more shade. Um, shade's not why you moved to California. Shade is not why you're in California. If you want shade, go to Boise, land of trees, go to Boise, land of trees.

Go northern. Go to Canada. But you do not live in California and complain about the heat and then blame it on the palm trees. That's the most ridiculous. People live here because of the palm trees. Can you imagine California without palm trees? No.

What is that? Kansas? Yeah, they wouldn't even know the difference between Nevada and California. It trees? No. What is that? People wouldn't even know. Yeah, they wouldn't even know the difference between Nevada and California. It's the same. Yeah, Kansas, it could be anything. I mean, you know, it's just these people with their, they just want comfort. They just want to be comfortable.

And they'll throw a wrench in one of the most sacred things we have palm trees so they can be more comfortable i say suck it suck it big time and choke on it you're not getting rid of my palm trees i will chain my body to all palm trees somehow my beef of the week dude it's it's got to be ted bundy right just i don't care how you slice it what side of the aisle you're on you got to agree not chill yeah Borderline heinous. And to have that kind of anger towards people when life has been pretty deece to you, I don't care what's in between your ears. You got to do better. Yeah.

Heinous rhymes with anus too. That's where he is right now. Devil's anus. Burn. Burn. devil's anus burn burn who's your baby of the week slash legend my baby of the week slash legend is spooky season i love spooky season i uh i've been watching horror movies non-stop watched the conjuring again last night. So good. So good. I love getting scared. I love the, you know,

what I like in LA is kind of like still, it's still hot, but I love pumpkins, you know, I love pumpkin spice. I love holidays incoming. It's the best feeling. I got Thanksgiving to look forward to. I got Christmas to look forward to.

And I don't even like the holidays themselves. I like the buildup. I like the ambiance. I like the decorations. I like the spookiness. And I like the Santa-ness. And yeah, it just gets me fired up. That's beautifully said.

Thanks. Dude, my babe slash legend of the week has got to be the new song by Omar Apollo, Live For Me. It's just beautiful. I think it could even play us out. Should we do that? Yeah. As I play this, this marks the end of this episode, but the beginning of your day.

So go forth, live free, love hard, and keep listening. These guys are really nice And you wanna know What to do and where to go When you need someone to guide you Just to have the girls beside you Go and see Go and see Let's go see Go in deep Bucks go deep Go in deep

Try to take deep