Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 317 - DRAFT: Best Alcoholic Beverage

Episode Date: November 15, 2023

Today we are drafting the Best Alcoholic Drinks of all time! Each person will compile a list and give a dank reasoning behind each one. The Judge, Mr.Cream aka Aaron will make the final decision on wh...o wins.  Here is the Total Draft Standings: (s/o HandA on reddit)Chad: 5 wins (6 if you count first draft)JT: 5 wins Strider: 6 wins Chris Parr: 6 winsBrad Fuller: 1 Win (The Ultimate Champ)Joe Marrese: 0 Wins (THE PEOPLES CHAMP) Grab some dank merch: https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour!Tickets on http://www.chadandjt.com Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Episode Sponsored by: WATERBOY HYDRATION- The best hangover cure!Get 15% off today!  https://www.waterboy.com/goingdeep Rumple- The Best Blankets!Get 10% off today!  https://www.rumpl.com/godeep or use code godeep at checkout!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, Stokers? Welcome to this pod. It's super fun. It's gonna make you want to rage. And it's just, it's one of my favorite drafts we've ever done. We're doing freaking alcoholic beverages. Oh, man, I'm just fired up on it. But first, I want to let you know that we are gonna be in Minneapolis tomorrow night, Thursday, November 16th. Then we're gonna be in Detroit. Four shows in Detroit, Friday and Saturday. House of Comedy. Get your tickets at chatanjt.com. It's so much fun.
Starting point is 00:00:26 And we love seeing you guys out there. So thank you to everyone who's come out. And if you're coming out, what up? And if you're thinking about it, I would go towards yes. We are also going to be in Denver. It's our last stop this year. Early December, I believe, the 7th, 8th. But check chanjt.com for tickets.
Starting point is 00:00:44 We also have merch still available. Limited time, custom dyed ink. It's the best. If you want some good stoke gear, go to shop.chadjt.com. We're also provided to you by the legends Waterboy. With the holidays approaching,
Starting point is 00:01:00 our sponsor Waterboy is here to help you prepare for those nasty holiday hangovers. Guys, this sponsor is perfect for this pod. This is an anti-hangover cure. Hundreds of thousands of people already trust Waterboy as their hangover cure. It's time to stop dealing with that anxiety alone. For a limited time, listeners get an exclusive 15% off discount with our link at waterboy.com slash going deep. That's 15% off at waterboy.com forward slash going deep.
Starting point is 00:01:30 It's time to ho-ho hydrate this holiday season. We're also brought to you by the legends at Rumpel. Rumpel, I love Rumpel. Best blankets in the biz. Coolest blankets in the biz by the best founders in the biz. I mean, if I get a Rumpelple i am cozy as heck rumple is on a mission to introduce the world to better blankets rumble's original puffy blanket is designed for adventure built with durable materials typically found in expensive outdoor gear rumple blankets
Starting point is 00:01:56 are durable water and stain resistant and ultra packable and look super sick go to rumple.com slash go deep and enter code go deep at checkout to get 10 off your first order guys let's start the show are we back all right let's slap the jaguar and tank my titties. What's up, Stokers of Stoke Nation? This is Chad Kroger coming in with the Going Deep Chat on JT Podcast. I'm here with my compadre, Sean Thomas. What up? Scooby-Doo-Bop clap.
Starting point is 00:02:33 Dude. Scooby-Doo-Bop. Dude, beat-bopping his way to the Jaguar impresario. Ooh. Boom. And the T-Llaw fanboy himself what up sorry didn't have anything dude man get on my rhythm what does that movie get on my tempo get on my tempo get on my tempo is that drumline oh Oh drumline's sick
Starting point is 00:03:05 But whiplash Oh dude whiplash Yeah yeah That's true Like what's better? Whiplash dude It's closer than you'd think It is close
Starting point is 00:03:14 Drumline Drumline's badass Drumline's pretty sick Just beats wise Yeah Just beats Drumline Drumline
Starting point is 00:03:21 And the action set pieces In drumline are Ridiculous Incredible Where they speed up The drumming Dude when the When the other guy
Starting point is 00:03:28 Brings out Petey Pablo Oh my god Are you Like you Should you be allowed To have Like special guests In like college
Starting point is 00:03:34 Yeah In like college They're all sizzle No steak Yeah What is it Morris Brown Morris Brown
Starting point is 00:03:39 And if you got beef You better grill it up And eat it That's the best And also The real show's at halftime Yeah Halftime is game show's at halftime. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Halftime is game time. Yeah, yeah. Halftime is game time. And then, dude, the Morris Brown conductor. Dude, he loves it. He loves the spotlight. I like his style. And he was born for it. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 00:03:57 Okay, Mr. Holland's Opus, Curveball. Where's that rank? Man, musical accompaniment films. It's too depressing i just remember watching it as a kid and being like i don't know man richard drexler's energy it's like nine hours i think just sad stuff happens all the time yeah so true it's a it's a it's a bummer of a movie dude it's not yeah but then but it's all payoff and it's like it's kind of like field of dreams the last five minutes when the one girl who becomes the governor or whatever, spoiler alert, you don't need to see this.
Starting point is 00:04:29 She's like, we are your symphony. We are the notes you write. And then you look in the theater and it's just one dad just crying by himself. Simmons has been really hard on him, but he points out a few things. One, that he's mean to his deaf son in the movie. He is mean, yeah. He almost cheats on his wife and then leaves his family for a
Starting point is 00:04:47 17-year-old student. And as a goofy white dude, he has to teach an athletic black running back about rhythm. Oh, God. Which, if you've watched Dancing with the Stars, running backs are good dancers. Jerry Rice wins.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Emmett Smith wins. Emmitt Smith wins. Heinz Ward wins. Heinz Ward. There you go. These guys are out. Coming off a Super Bowl MVP. Look at their footwork. Phenomenal footwork. Speaking of footwork of athletes, should we explain the Jaguars gear?
Starting point is 00:05:16 Dude, I want to give a shout out to one of the coaches, Nick Phillips. Let me get his name right. He sent us this gear. Thank you, Coach Phillips. This gear is sick. I'm fired up on this, dude. Dude, I'm sorry if I got your name wrong.
Starting point is 00:05:35 But he sent us the gear. Just want to give a shout out to the Jaguars organization for sending us this gear and we're repping it. It's the Jaguars pod. And like real fans. Look, we took an L this week. The Niners came in
Starting point is 00:05:48 and they routed us in our own home. We got stomped. And that's okay. Next week's a new week. We were the hottest team in the league. We were due.
Starting point is 00:05:55 Yeah. You know, so we'll bounce back next week against whoever it is, dude. Yeah. T-Law, I mean, he looked fantastic, I think.
Starting point is 00:06:04 Yeah, his flow. Yeah. I mean, that looked fantastic, I think. Yeah, his flow. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. When you were choosing which team to like, Chad, was it between Herbert and the Chargers or T-Law and his flow? I mean, you like flow. I love flow, yeah. And Herbert, he's a good contender, but I think T-Law for me,
Starting point is 00:06:20 he looks more like Petriclis from Troy. That's a great point. And I think You know Two things I love You know Football And you know Greek myths
Starting point is 00:06:29 Hell yeah Combining them They're modern gladiators Dude yeah 100% true I'm fired up To see the Jags And you guys are
Starting point is 00:06:37 Jag fans too Dude the gear is sick I like your clothes Dude let's go But we're, you know, we're Steelers fans, dude I think we have the same record as you guys Six and three Oh, do you really?
Starting point is 00:06:54 I think so Oh, nice The Steelers have been outgained in every game they've played this year Wow Six and three, baby It's just a testament to Tomlin Yeah Every time I look at the fourth quarter score and it's like 20-20,
Starting point is 00:07:06 I'm like, we're going to win this one. Let me ask you this question. If you put Trevor Lawrence on the Steelers, are you guys contending with the fucking Ravens and Browns in your division? I mean, we're still contending with them, but I think, yeah, we'd definitely be better. I mean, he's a huge step up from Pickett. Although T-Law has been kind of underperforming.
Starting point is 00:07:26 Dude, he really has been, bro. He really has been. Feels like if they're not running the ball, ETN's kind of the... If teams shut him down, the offense looks so bad. You're right. And we drafted Calvin Ridley. I expected a lot more from him. But you can't take two seasons off from football
Starting point is 00:07:42 and come back at 100. Yeah, maybe that was a mistake on our part, thinking, you know, falling in love with the mini camp. Kirk looks good. Yeah, Christian Kirk's playing really well. Christian Kirk's good. And then who's the other guy that's hurt right now that should be coming back? Zay Jones.
Starting point is 00:07:56 Zay Jones. Evan Ingram's played well. Yeah, their tight end's playing solid, so we'll see. And they've got good defensive pieces. What did you guys think of the travis kelsey taylor swift kiss in argentina we just traded for kelsey oh let's go and uh i'm hoping that it really that it really lights a fire um the kiss was really cute and then she changed the lyrics to karma i heard that i heard that the guy on the guy on the chief comes home to me very fun cute so yeah
Starting point is 00:08:24 i hope it i hope it leads to he played like production on the fields. He was like, come to me. Very fun. So yeah, I hope it leads to production on the field. Yeah, because last week she wasn't there. We traded Jameer Gibbs who now looks like maybe the best player in NFL history.
Starting point is 00:08:33 We traded him on a high. He went for like 150 yards. We're like, all right, it's going back to a split backfield. Let's get a super stud out of it.
Starting point is 00:08:39 We grabbed Kelsey and so far so bad. It has not worked out in our favor. But here's the thing. I didn't just do it because I thought Kelsey could produce on the field. I also wanted to be a part of the greatest love story of modern times.
Starting point is 00:08:52 I don't like the way my wife talks about him. Because she's like, oh, did you see the thing with Travis? I'm like, who the fuck is Travis, dude? What are you guys, friends? First date of our races? I'm going to be suspicious. That's the thing i call i call taylor swift miss miss swift when i talk to my wife i go miss swift had a nice show
Starting point is 00:09:09 tonight like let's go i'll say freaking taylor if she says trav you gotta have a talk with her yeah oh or travi oh travi that's even worse yeah i'm keeping an eye on it i checked her pretty quickly i was like travis he has friends also like he's not he's famous but he's not one name celebrity famous no it's not bono yeah no chance and if he comes to the front door you got to go to the body right for sure for sure and she knows that now so like i don't know we'll see where it goes but hopefully we're both cheering for travis this weekend when the chiefs take the field yeah and hopefully it leads to some fantasy dubs because that offense looks a little stagnant it does we got pacheco as well who looks i love the way he runs he runs mad he always pops up too you know what i mean exactly like fucking doesn't he's happy to be there it's not work for him. He runs like a madman.
Starting point is 00:10:06 All right, guys, it's draft time. Draft time. And we got a humdinger of a draft. This one is going to be all sorts of saucy. We are drafting the greatest alcoholic beverages. We have not worked through the criteria. We're going to work it out in real time. It's a bummer none of us are drinking right now. I did bring a weed pen,
Starting point is 00:10:24 so I might get a little bit tilted in another direction. I added an extra shot to my Americano, so I'm getting wild. I crushed a cobra on the way over. Okay, good. We are stimulated. But yeah, let's get it going. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Odds are evens. One, two, three.
Starting point is 00:10:42 Oh. One, two, three. Oh. One, two, three. Oh. One, two, three. Oh. One, two, three. Oh. Damn, dude. I think he got fourth last time when he took home the dubs. That's what he does.
Starting point is 00:10:53 That's what he does. That's what he does. There we go. Odds or evens. One, two, three. Sorry. No, wait. That doesn't count.
Starting point is 00:10:59 That doesn't count. I was like, sorry. I was bagging on Chad, dude. I didn't know. One, two, three. What does Chris get fucked? I was going to say, does Chris get fucked since he was late, dude, and then he's just got to go third? Nah.
Starting point is 00:11:12 I'm like, dude, I am. He's my brother. All right, one, two, three. Yeah. Oh, again. Oh, dude. Wait. What's wrong?
Starting point is 00:11:22 No, I'm ready. I'm ready. Okay. Paper, rock, scissors, shoot. Paper, rock, scissors, shoot. Bang. You got it? That's it. No, I'm ready I'm ready Okay Paper, rock, scissors, shoot Paper, rock, scissors, shoot Bang You got it? Okay, good
Starting point is 00:11:29 Were you not looking? No I wanted to go no look on that one Alright, I think I'm gonna go Oh yeah, give me that magic mind, baby Let me get right before this draft Here's some bevvies That's pretty wild stuff right there
Starting point is 00:11:40 Oh, they're chilled They're chilled, dude Oh, nice Very nice You don't have to put these in the. They're chilled, dude. Oh, nice. Very nice. You don't have to put these in the fridge. They stay chilled no matter what. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:52 They keep you chill in your dome, your body, your energy. There's a lot of biomarkers that keep it cold no matter what. They put one of these out in the Mojave and it stayed cool. Dude, there's fucking nootropics, dude. You know in Waterboy how that water always stays cold? It's same same water it's from alaska i might pound this shake breathe drink what's the breathe like i have to like let it breathe because get ready for your knowledge to expand i guess i should have read the directions before maybe that ties into when you rip a fucking shot dude oh yeah you gotta go exhale first it's
Starting point is 00:12:20 you don't you know oh yeah burn as much because i'll tell you guys what my number one is right now oh let's fucking go tequila baby okay wait wait can you do that broad of a thing you have to say how it's being dispensed to you wait what I was told it was boo okay okay okay shots. There it is. That's a six shot. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six.
Starting point is 00:12:49 That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six.
Starting point is 00:12:57 That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. That's a six. it's like if you're looking to turn up and somebody's like bro tequila shots it's like oh
Starting point is 00:13:06 like everyone's like oh oh you know everyone gets like oh so we're going there we're doing that oh we're really getting after it it's always just such a party vibe it's what everybody knows what it means it's like we're stepping on the gas we're having some fun let's fucking do this tequila shot well it's a game changer you'll be hanging with the boys you rip that shot and you go that just changed the game yeah and it's the healthiest right like you get the best chance of not getting a hangover it's calorically not so bad and it's the only alcohol that's technically not a depressant whoa really whoa i think i've heard that before or it has like a combination profile to it that's gonna be my argument too it's like when you get in your 30s and it starts to hurt more
Starting point is 00:13:46 tequila shots are the way to go keep it clean yeah feel cleaner about it and it's the salt and I don't actually do salt I just do a lime but it's still fun with like the whole the whole shebang of like do it getting them all set up and then sucking on the lime afterwards oh so nice and of all the
Starting point is 00:14:02 booze songs is there a better one than tequila? Tequila. I mean, it's a great pick, dude. I'm fired up. I want to rip the shots right now. I think that was number one, man. That made me want to get tequila. I know, dude. You're a true blue dude. I gotta go to work later, dude. I can't. This is good, though. I'm glad you guys pushed back on
Starting point is 00:14:23 the tequila pick to make me get more specific, because now I know. Because I didn't know what we were doing. None of us knew. None of us knew. But we knew that was wrong. But we knew you were supposed to be right. Right.
Starting point is 00:14:33 I couldn't. The amount of drinks that I could get with that would have been too much. Yeah. I would have walked back. It would have been fucking nuts, and it can't happen. It would have been everything, dude.
Starting point is 00:14:42 Dude, we could honestly just draft different ways of getting tequila, dude. Yeah, exactly. Tequila. It might pop up again. Yeah, it probably will. I was surprised you didn't say shots of tequila with your bros, though. Oh, fuck, dude.
Starting point is 00:14:53 Yeah, well, dude, the only thing better than that, dude, shots of tequila with a bunch of chicks. Oh! How do you even swing that? You've got to be planning that for fun. Crazy, dude. No way. You guys are nuts.
Starting point is 00:15:10 It's a party. It's a party. How's this, dude? On a boat. I'm jacking off. I wanna fuck all of you right now. That does sound so sick! That sounds rad, dude.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Oh man, that makes me wanna go on a yacht. I know, on a yacht and just be drinking. I would fuck you, dude. I would fuck you too. I would love for you to fuck me, dude. The chicks can watch! Yes, dude. Keep your eyes peeled, honey. From a different boat, dude. Dude, Chad's bottoming for strawberry.
Starting point is 00:15:46 Dude, put a little lime on my butt, dude. Put a little lime on there. Yeah, snort that out. Yeah, put a line of coke on my ass. Dude, that's recess. This might be the greatest draft of all time. Dude, dude, dude, dude. Body shots.
Starting point is 00:16:02 I gotta keep going. Remember body shots? Oh, yeah. All right. No, go. Body shots. I gotta keep going. Remember body shots? Oh, yeah. All right. No, go. No, I was just gonna say, remember body shots? Those were sick. I haven't thought about those in a decade.
Starting point is 00:16:17 All right, this is a toughie. I'm gonna go with... Look, I just gotta do it. I'm going dude dude it's gonna be tough to miss here yeah dude but there's yeah fuck um what would t-law do i think i'm gonna go with domestic brews can you do all domestic beers okay but then if i go get like more specific on what kind of beer I mean, I'm trying to take I want
Starting point is 00:17:07 Coors, Budweiser I want Coors Budweiser Coors Light, Bud Light I think you can't get that Because there's light beers and now you have heavy beers Do you even drink? Okay.
Starting point is 00:17:26 He got all the tequila. He got all the tequila. Aren't those different brands? There are. How many different brands of tequila do you get? No, but we're saying go light beer or go like Budweiser Coors. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Or go like Bud Light.
Starting point is 00:17:38 Okay, okay, okay. I will go. But like both lagers. I mean, I kind of think you got to go with brand for beer. I think you might have to too. No, but that's unfurled tequila. Tequila tastes the same. No like both lagers. I mean, I kind of think you got to go with brand for beer. I think you might have to too. No, but that's unfair to tequila. Tequila tastes the same. No, it doesn't.
Starting point is 00:17:49 I mean. I can taste a difference. Beer tastes more the same than tequila. I mean, a Budweiser versus a Coors. You know, if you're a connoisseur. That's a smaller difference. I don't mind that. I don't mind that.
Starting point is 00:18:03 Than like a Don Julio versus versus a Jose Cuervo. I have a specific memory with a brand of beer, so probably how I would have gone. But I do think you can probably do light. But you can't have a heavy and a stout and a fucking IPA. No, I wasn't including those. I wasn't including those. I would still have to have a distinction between heavy and light. But you can take stouts.
Starting point is 00:18:25 Okay. Right? You can just take stouts. And you can just take IPAs. Yeah, like you can just take Ipas, dude. He's going to take next. But I don't know. I might not take an Ipas, dude.
Starting point is 00:18:34 This guy doesn't drink IPAs, dude. I get it when it comes back. So, yeah, but you've got to distinguish what type of beer. You know, I don't think you need to do brand. Although, you know, we'll talk about them. Like go with like, you know, domestic lager piss beers.
Starting point is 00:18:47 But you're locked into beer. You can't do a full switch now. No, I might not. I know you wanted to do a full switch. You're locked into beer, bro. No, no, no. But I might switch to... All right, I'm going to go IPAs.
Starting point is 00:18:57 Oh! This is insane. This is just absolutely... No, once I figured out the criteria, I'm going IPAs. All right. Yeah. Okay. By the way,, I'm going IPAs. All right. Yeah. Okay. By the way, you drink the worst IPAs, dude.
Starting point is 00:19:09 I brought in bad ones that one day. I brought in bad ones that one day. All right, but go ahead. No, look, I'm not an expert, but I have been drinking them lately. It's because, you know, I'm well into my 30s. There's parts that you miss out on with IPAs. They don't have the portability of the domestics when it comes to games or to not wanting to feel full. But man,
Starting point is 00:19:28 if you really just want to settle your evening and you want to orient around a beverage, the IPA just has tremendous gravity. It just holds you in place. I'm a big IPA guy now. I think it goes well with an adult evening. So I'm going IPA for the
Starting point is 00:19:44 dough. If I could call a brand I used to drink Racer 5 Oh good brand That's a good one If you want to eat your beer dude Get an IPA I remember getting Lagunitas Little something something
Starting point is 00:19:58 Those are good I don't touch that shit I hate IPAs You do hate IPAs When I was 22 Those are good. I don't have those at the store. They have those at the comedy store. I don't touch that shit, man. I hate IPAs. Yeah, you do hate IPAs. You do hate them. I hate them. You do hate them. When I was 22, that was my shit.
Starting point is 00:20:11 They're just so intense. It is an acquired taste, for sure. It's just so much. Except when you get older. But I like shit beers, so it's fine. It's never going to be for me. All right, I'm going fucking light beers coors light bud light natty light keystone light the shit you rack it up with the boys it's the quantity brew like what you're
Starting point is 00:20:33 drinking when you're on a budget and you play all the fucking games that go along with it so i'm going your light beers your probably your domestic light beers if you're gonna play with an imported light beer like i don't know an amstel light Maybe you're sophisticated. I can Hynes Stella. Yes, I think that's a step up. Those are Premium imported premium import separate category. That's a good category. That's a nice category. We're talking. Those are a lot of fun Yes, JT's trying to tank my pick right now. I mean, it's a really interesting move I think you already to tank my pick right now. I mean, it's a really interesting move. I've had a good one. I don't know. I think you already made me fucked up, dude.
Starting point is 00:21:08 You think so? Maybe. But I'm going with the light beers, the drinking game beers, dude. Your college, your frat tax. That is what I call
Starting point is 00:21:16 like piss beers. Piss beers. Your bottom of the barrels. Although Coors Light, I like a Coors Light. Dude, Budweiser, I guess that's not, is Budweiser a light?
Starting point is 00:21:25 I think Bud Heavy. You're talking about Bud Diesel? I like a Coors Light. Dude, Budweiser. I guess that's not... Is Budweiser a light? Bud Heavy. I think he had... You're talking about Bud Diesel? I love a Bud Diesel. Dude, Budweiser in a bottle? Those are good. I don't buy them. Fourth of July? Drinking them by themselves? Those are good. You can't do that with some other one. Dude, is there anything better when your boy comes with a 30 rack?
Starting point is 00:21:40 Oh, it's huge. The party gets set up. You scoot with the 30 rack? Bro, if your boy's got a Costco membership and he gets access to that 36 rack that they got. Whoa. They go bigger. There's six extra beers?
Starting point is 00:21:52 Clutch, dude. What's fucking, actually, no. I won't even say it because I know you're going to do it next. No. You guys ever had beer 30? What beer 30? It's like if Keystone's like this much cheaper than the next one like what's like 10 levels cheaper than keystone and worse and it's beer 30 and it just has a it just says any time is the right time there's just like a bad clock hilarious it's just a full purple pack it's
Starting point is 00:22:15 like the worst beer i've ever had that's hilarious just as far as light beers go it's like the worst one you could have keys fun keystone is my go-to in college. Yeah, Keystone. Stones are so good. So nice. Oh, man. Beer die. Oh, dude. So many fun beers. It sucks that I lost. You know, I don't get as many shots up as I used to. You know? No, but the joy you get around those beers where they can bring
Starting point is 00:22:38 you. Yeah. Celebrations when you get the last one. You crack them. Bang! What do you put in a keg, dude? I bang also dude what are you putting in a keg dude i mean this is what you put in a keg yeah this qualifies as a kegger dude which is a form of party dude yeah it's a fucking i don't know you've seen some people do like wheat beers in there blue moon i wouldn't do it yeah i wouldn't do that i like a blue moon cake yeah i'm not i'm not doing a week i'm not i'm not into it But I'm just saying I've seen it done You know
Starting point is 00:23:05 Maybe a pony keg Dude it'd be cool To see like a Guinness keg What the hell Would that look like Oh my gosh I don't even know How would you even pour it
Starting point is 00:23:14 Because Guinness Has to be poured In a very special way I don't know We should find out That might be fun Drinking 150 Guinnesses Yeah
Starting point is 00:23:21 Well that's a different category But alright There we go Let's keep it cruising, baby. I'm going to go with the thing. This is going to put lead in your pencils. This is the... I'm going with the whiskey shot.
Starting point is 00:23:34 Oh, nice. I mean, it tastes like gasoline. Once it goes in, you just feel a supercharge. I mean, it's what men drink. If you get off your job at the steel mill, you go into your local bar, just feel a super charge. I mean, it's what men drink. It's true. If you get off your job at the steel mill,
Starting point is 00:23:49 you go into your local bar, you say, set me up, Jack. What does he give you? He gives you a whiskey shot and a beer. Dude, you get a shot of Jack, that will fuck you up. It does. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:58 It does. The sugar, too, that they have in there, that sugar in the Jack. The hangover is... It's kind of, you know, which I was like a man walking in and be like shot a whiskey in a brew Dude, yeah The face I make after
Starting point is 00:24:12 a shot of whiskey is probably the strongest face I make where, like to kill I'll be like this, but whiskey I'm like Yeah Yeah, I've almost puked a lot A lot of like swallow it down Dude, yeah Is there any better for like hard partying Yeah, I've almost puked a lot. A lot of like swallow it down. Dude, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:29 And then when you, I mean, is there any better for like hard partying? Jack Daniels, I think, takes the cake. I do think Jack Daniels is like, especially when you're a youngster and you're looking up at booze and you're like, one day I'm going to be doing that. You're like, one day I'm going to drink Jack Daniels. The bottle, the name, it just signifies like cock. Yeah. I think I bought a Jack Danieliels shirt one time on vacation my dad was like why'd you buy that my screen name was mr jack daniels dude yeah yeah whiskey shots that it's like the ultimate cock drink oh it is yeah and they say whiskey dick yeah so you know it
Starting point is 00:24:59 affects your penis there's definitely something about that yeah if you ever want to get your penis drunk dude yeah your, penises love whiskey. Yeah, how'd whiskey corner the market on Dongasass? Because I thought I put lead in your pencil, but... Well, there is that spot. Yeah, where you have just the right amount of drinks and you're like, okay, I can fuck any. But then you take too many and you're like, I can't fuck any.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Yeah, dude. I have no idea what we're supposed to do now. Indiscriminately go and then you're like, I can't fuck anyone. Yeah, dude. I have no idea what we're supposed to do now. Indiscriminately go, and then you're like, I'm sorry. Yeah. But you know what, dude? It's hard to come down from that high of the tequila shot. I mean, it was a great first. You could have pivoted to Jack and Coke, dude.
Starting point is 00:25:37 That's also like a very dude drink. Dude, yeah. Jack and Coke is a great move, dude. That was the first drink I had when my older siblings bought me that on a cruise. A Jack and Coke. A Jack and Coke. Because you could be 18 and they're like, bro. I remember having one and being like, this is delicious.
Starting point is 00:25:53 It's Coca-Cola. Plus I get a little buzz. Yeah, yeah. A little lightheaded. Oh, man. By the way, guys, drink responsibly. Maybe we should say it now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:00 Drink responsibly. Don't be a fucking idiot. Yeah. Dude, Jack Daniels is probably the best drink to have before driving home from your friend's house like about 8 or 9
Starting point is 00:26:09 Jack Daniels's have like a few of those and then drive home that affected you that affected you yeah I honestly think the Stokers listening do get the jokes
Starting point is 00:26:16 more people on the internet they were mad take it easy dude it's a joke I think it was pretty clear you weren't serious yeah dude
Starting point is 00:26:23 exactly that's true comedy you gotta toe got total you have to and come check To check us out in Detroit we're gonna be there. I think the Internet's very literal. Yeah, it's tough to have nuance. Yeah But some memes get it, okay, you got I one guy Commented he one guy talk shit and I clicked on his profile and I was like who is this he's a St. Louis based model
Starting point is 00:26:49 so just look at who's commenting so you're like naked with ribs and stuff? Apparently it's just him with ribs covering his cock yeah anyways just spreading
Starting point is 00:27:04 it's back to you oh fuck dude i got two totally forgot okay make it a double bro uh uh oh okay oh okay i'm gonna go with the margarita. Oh, nice. I like this. That's fun. I'm keeping the party going.
Starting point is 00:27:27 This is something you go on a date. I mean, you're going out with your boys. You go on a date. If you want to have fun, if you want to turn the party, if you want to get the right vibe going, if you want some chips and salsa in the mix, you go with margaritas. And there's a lot of different margaritas. You could get spicy.
Starting point is 00:27:42 You could get all types of shit. Jalapeno margaritas. I love margaritas. I think that's my go-to cocktail. Margaritas. You could get spicy. You could get all types of shit. Jalapeno margaritas. I love margaritas. I think that's my go-to cocktail. Margaritas are the shit. And I think, who says no to a margarita? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:27:54 It's so fun. It's so festive. Yeah. Islamophobes. Yeah. Dude, yeah. That's true, they do I forgot about them
Starting point is 00:28:07 Yeah, I've seen them, yeah Hey, knock it off Yeah, come on, drink a Mark, dude Both things Drink Marks and no more Cut that shit out Dude, you want like a skinny Mark, dude Oh, dude
Starting point is 00:28:17 I like a skinny Mark these days, really nice Do you get salt on the rim or no? Hell yeah, dude I don't, neither do I Also, I always go rocks, but you could go blended. That's fun. Yeah. If I'm like, maybe if I was like, it was really hot out and I'm like in a pool, I would do
Starting point is 00:28:31 the blended. But like if I'm in a bar, just gives me on the rock. Blended drinks are harder to drink because they're fucking cold. You can't drink. You got to be in a pool. It's got to be hot. It's a great first sip. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:43 I love the salt. Yeah. it's a great first sip oh yeah when you go i love the salt yeah you go with your friends dude and you're like go to a mexican restaurant for tacos even co-workers do you get a couple marks come on that's number one so far of like hey try this yeah yeah like i feel like a margarita gets a minimum of like three sets of lips on it and i mean when you get like that perfect mix where it's strong where you can taste the tequila but it's still margish yeah because, because it cuts the tequila, but you still get some taste of it, dude. Yeah, you almost want to think you're having a dessert treat, but then you also want to know there's something evil. There's a kick in there.
Starting point is 00:29:13 There's evil in there. Yeah, yeah. You're going to come a little bit. Hangover-wise. Pretty tough. Yeah, yeah. It can drill you. It will destroy you.
Starting point is 00:29:22 It can drill you pretty bad. What's the max you can have in a night, you think? Well, that's the thing. You know what? Too fucking many, bro. I think you have two margs, and then you go to tequila shots. You're right, because that's exactly what I do. Also, the mix.
Starting point is 00:29:34 The mix is hurt by tummy. The sugar, yeah. The mix is, dude, the mix itself is delicious. Yeah, we've got to talk about the dark side of this stuff, too. It's not what you think. It's the tummy. Yeah. Smelling it the next day after a party.
Starting point is 00:29:46 You see the booze. I smelt it. Also, we got boned on this. I think it was your birthday. Our buddy was a bartender at a Mexican spot. And he's like, I'm going to get you guys some of our special margaritas for free. You guys want them? We're like, we really don't want them.
Starting point is 00:30:00 We're like, we're fine. He's like, I'm getting them for you. Here come the special margs on the house. Brings us these huge fucking two-storystory drinks we sip and he comes back he's like hey my manager says i have to charge you the 35 bucks a piece it was unreal and we didn't want to drink and then he comes back and goes but he did say i can give you a free shot of any well shot that you want i was like dude we didn't want to fucking drink. We came here to say hi to you, dude. Maybe have a beer. Hilarious.
Starting point is 00:30:25 Oh, it was amazing. A well shot, dude. That could be a pick. Yeah. You're right. A well shot. A shot of whiskey. Okay, I'm going to go with the vodka soda.
Starting point is 00:30:42 It's my quantity drink. If I'm in Vegas, I'm having a vodka. Maybe vodka mixed drinks. Do I get that? Do I get a vodka mixed drink as a category? No, you can take a sea breeze or you can take a vodka soda. You have to be specific. I think you're right.
Starting point is 00:30:56 I think you're right. I think you're right. Okay, so it's a vodka soda because I really want to expand the category. We can do like 12. I know. If we're doing that, we could do so many. But it's a great quantity drink. It's clear, you know, and you got your K1, dude.
Starting point is 00:31:11 You know, partying at the Pars House back in the day, dude, everyone was talking about, look, dude, Grey Goose. Oh, bro, they're singing about it in the songs. They knew about Kettle One, dude, and it was smoother than fucking Grey Goose. There was also that secret trick where you go to Costco and get the Kirkland brand of vodka and it was like pretty dank
Starting point is 00:31:27 because it was still like made by the same distillers or whatever. But I just like it because if I'm at a wedding or I'm in Vegas, we're at the club, it's a drink that's clear. It's going to be,
Starting point is 00:31:39 you know, you can hold it in your hand. You can feel right about it. You're not going to fucking, you know, it's not a whiskey where it's really going to add up. It's a clear booze. Generally, it's going to treat you a little bit better the next day. Also, you feel sort of like you're in the movie Eastern Promises
Starting point is 00:31:52 because you have vodka. That's fucking sick, dude. You feel pretty tight. Maybe you could cut your hand and seal a deal with a shot of vodka or something. Very tight in that regard. That's my quantity beverage. Nice.
Starting point is 00:32:04 That's sick. My quantity spirit. I think it's on the's my quantity beverage. Nice. That's sick. My quantity spirit. And I think it's on the healthy side too. Yeah. Minimal hangover. Gluten free. Get some lime in there. Gluten free.
Starting point is 00:32:13 Yeah. Calorically, it's not busting you up too bad. Yeah. So. Healthy. Cruising on those. Yeah. Cocaine.
Starting point is 00:32:24 You guys have all. Yeah, my favorite cocktail is cocaine. You guys have all Yeah my favorite cocktail Is cocaine You guys have been A little day class A Homeboy's here To spruce it up I'm going
Starting point is 00:32:32 Red wine Whoa Whoa Well Kenny wouldn't even Think about wine Wait We're dead We're letting him
Starting point is 00:32:39 Take red wine What type of wine No do I not get All the reds You don't get All the reds I don't get All the reds
Starting point is 00:32:44 Do you know how Many guys are All right you're right You're right You're right wine what type of wine yeah do i not get all the reds i don't get all the reds all right you're right you're right you're right pino all back nice oh you go pino whoa i go pino whoa i think that's more it's broad it works easy i know it's not the pinnacle but for me it's trustworthy always a good sip and another thing you go to a party you don't know that many people, you pour yourself a glass of Pinot, you just walk around, you cruise. I remember I heard my first snooty waiter I ever experienced, he's like, do you want the Pinot Noir?
Starting point is 00:33:15 Oh. It's a great way to say it. I didn't even attempt the Noir. Yeah. I just say Pinot and I leave it. Yeah, the Noir. And if they say Grigio, I just say, come on. You go, come on, bro. I ordered a steak.
Starting point is 00:33:24 I'm like, you're going to fucking wipe right steak. I'm not watching the Real Housewives reunion. Does that even have dregs? Exactly, dude. Oh, that's another good point. The red wine, the way it accompanies a meal. Yeah. Steak? True.
Starting point is 00:33:35 The Matrix? Oh, yeah. The Matrix, the bad guys. Cipher it in. Cipher, good call. And a wine drunk is a specific drunk, too. You're a little slower. You're not as amped, but you're sloppy.
Starting point is 00:33:47 You're sloppy on the edges. I feel like my head gets heavier. Yeah, you start wobbling a little bit. And the hangover can be vicious. Oh, yeah, a lot of sugar. The hangover will eat you up. Oh, the hangover will fuck you. But the Pinot's nice, because you get a Cabernet, dude.
Starting point is 00:34:00 Those can be super heavy. Too heavy. But Pinot's, I don't like the heavy stuff. I also don't like smoking, and cabs can get so smoky. You're a blend guy. Yeah, well, like Pinot, you can get that, you get nice range. Usually it's more drinkable. You can go lighter.
Starting point is 00:34:13 You can go a little bit heavier, but it's just, it's in a nice sweet spot for me. I love the Pinot pick. Has an earthier feel to it. Can be a little clay, but not bad. Are you coming back to sideways at some point? Bro, yes. Okay. It's very, yes. We'll leave it. We'll leave it until. Oh, no, no, no, no. I'm not coming back to sideways at some point um bro yes and it's very yes we'll leave it we'll leave it until no no no i'm not coming back to sideways no no i thought you would say we're going to talk about it now oh talk about it now no please because paul giamatti
Starting point is 00:34:33 is the pinot noir you have to really squeeze the grape you have to squeeze it's a very difficult grape to grow and is that the one in that it's the pinot noir yeah it's not when he goes fuck the um what's the, Merlot. We're not drinking Merlot. Oh, that's Merlot. Yeah. It's a great line. No, no, Merlot sucks.
Starting point is 00:34:49 But yeah, Pinot Noir, dude. Yeah, sophisticated beverage. You need a little bit, you can't really grow it up in a lot of places in NorCal because it gets too hot. You need a little bit cooler temperatures for Pinot. That's why Santa Barbara does it. That is good intel. Also, yeah, a very fun beverage to talk about.
Starting point is 00:35:06 Fun hobby, I guess, collect it, you know. You know the one? Oh, I'm up, I got two. Ooh! Baby. You just took a, oh man. What do I wanna do here? Last night we let the liquor talk.
Starting point is 00:35:20 I don't know what he had. All right, I'm gonna go with, I'm gonna do a cocktail I already have Sounds like you're ordering I'm gonna go with a Manhattan Oh I love a Manhattan Bourbon
Starting point is 00:35:35 I wanted to get a bourbon in here Let's go with a Manhattan It's got a little bit of sweet vermouth So it's basically an old fashioned but just A little bit sweeter cause of that sweet vermouth so it's basically an old fashioned but just a little bit sweeter because of that sweet vermouth which I like because old fashions
Starting point is 00:35:48 are just yeah dude they can be strong and it's traditionally served up yeah I like them up too like look if you're like
Starting point is 00:35:54 one of those guys who's like I don't want to be drinking out of a dainty glass you can get it on the rocks but like dude get it up get it in like
Starting point is 00:36:00 the little tiny glass where you have to pick it up you have to be careful and like sip it at the start and dude they're strong so you like start off if you're trying to get after it a little bit you know like you can have one of those and like it'll get you good and then you can kind of coast the rest of it or you have two and then you're on a different trajectory which could
Starting point is 00:36:15 be pretty fun um i fucking love them dude good holiday drink i like to drink around the holidays because that vermouth in there it feels like cinnamony and cheery. And you know, bourbon, dude? Bourbon is the only American alcohol. Bourbon has to be American. Right. Kentucky, right? Okay. Most of it in Kentucky for a different variety of reasons.
Starting point is 00:36:37 They started it there. You know? It's got to be 50, at least 51% corn. It's made from corn. Skull. Which comes from America. Can you believe corn's that good? Yeah. Skull. Which comes from the Americas. Can you believe corn's that good? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:47 I do a lot of limestone in Kentucky. They say that helped. I don't remember why. Distiller. Distilling. You need to do it in a charred oak barrel. And then you need to season. So it goes in and out of the wood.
Starting point is 00:36:57 Gets that flavor. Ooh. Ooh. So yeah. It's a nice process. And it's one of my go-to cocktails. At least of late. I remember the Fantasy Draft.
Starting point is 00:37:07 We both ordered those. It's nice. When my brother started drinking cocktails, he started with the Manhattans. I was like, damn, he's grown up. That's what Don Draper drinks. Is it? Oh, fuck yeah. It's a good drink, dude.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Next, I'm going Cervezas, dude. So Mexican beers. Very smart pick. Corona. Corona, Pacifico, Modelo, Tec dude. So Mexican beers. Oh. I love it. Very smart pick. Corona. Corona is Pacifico. Modelo. Tecate. That's a great pick.
Starting point is 00:37:29 Chris knows what he's doing over here. Yeah, that's clever. Because guess what, dude? They're so fucking chill. You think beach. You think yachts again. We're fucking back to yachts. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:40 Also, it's kind of one of those piss beers that you could totally play drinking games with. You are right. I have, dude. You're in a pinch on top of this who drinks coronas only dude at a dude yes dude yeah at a barbecue with paul walker what are you drinking yes that's right there's palm trees or sand or any kind of water, a Mexican beer is going to treat you right. Oh, dude, with a lime in it, dude, we're back to the limes, dude. Throw that in there, and it just makes it, it takes the beer experience to a whole other level. You're like, dude, I was chilling when I was drinking a beer.
Starting point is 00:38:15 Now that my beer's got a lime in it, dude, I'm really fucking chilling. Fucking let's go. Dude, the logo of Corona, too. I think it might be the best one. That's a cool idea, dude. Yeah, dude, their commercial campaigns. So sick. Modelo, dude? You got the
Starting point is 00:38:28 heart of a lion? That's what makes a lion. The UFC fighters are all doing Modelo. Although I think they just went back to Bud Light. The UFC. Look, good for Bud either way, but I'm glad that Modelo got in there for a while. I think it just passed Bud Light.
Starting point is 00:38:44 Modelo was going deep with the dudes in the commercials, too. They were like, when Felipe Martinez was a kid, he never knew he'd grow up to be a great tattoo artist. Yeah, exactly. He's like, take his love of the art of the streets. And that's what makes a lion. Yeah. Hell yeah. Dos Equis guy
Starting point is 00:39:05 Dos Equis too That goes in there I get them all baby I get them all Those are great commercial campaigns What was your category? Cervezas Okay
Starting point is 00:39:13 Is that only Mexico? Yeah I think Yeah It's only Mexican beers Okay so you're thinking like Costa Rica Imperial Or one of those I don't think
Starting point is 00:39:20 I don't know if I get those I would need to do more research I think you're going Mexican beers But I'm just going Mexican beer. I'm going, like I said. It's still a strong pick. Sol, Pacifico, Modelo, Corona. Estrella Jalisco, though, tastes like asshole.
Starting point is 00:39:33 Which one? Estrella Jalisco, horrendous beer. I never even heard of that. It's not often what you make like a michelada with. It's like a, no, it's terrible. So I got IPAs. I feel like you drink those lunchtime to dinner I got your your red wine I think that's a post that's an evening thing LeBron but what are we drinking in the morning what are we
Starting point is 00:39:55 drinking oh yeah brunch dude motherfucking mimosas. Let's go. Damn it. That's such a good pick. Dude, motherfucking mimosas. And here it is, dude. He's repping the ladies. Dude, I mean, do they love anything? I mean, dudes love it too. But women, they love the mimosa. No, dude, because it's a whole,
Starting point is 00:40:16 there's a whole thing, dude, of like, we're getting mimosas. It's like, oh, hell yeah. It's fun, dude. It's just like. Dude, that fires me up. Fuck, that's a good one. There's nothing I love more than the most.
Starting point is 00:40:26 Bottomless? What an invention. I think that was during our lifetime. Yeah, we're like. I was about 17. They were like, we're going to start doing this. And then it just, it was a fucking wave. Yes.
Starting point is 00:40:36 Dude, you go to 7-Eleven, you get some cooks, you get some OJ, boom. Andre? Or some Andre? Andre. And there's something about champagne. I don't think it tastes all that good. The hangover is brutal. No, it gives Andre. Andre. And there's something about champagne. I don't think it tastes all that good. The hangover is brutal. It gives me a headache.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Terribly. Hurts my stomach often. Yes. The cultural capital it carries. Yeah. And it resonates. Because pop and bottles is so fun. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:57 It's called pop and bottles. Yeah, it's called boom. And it's like, woo. Everyone's like, oh, yeah, it's on now. It's literally like, it's like the firing gun to start a race. Do you know what I mean? You're having a day. It pops off before going.
Starting point is 00:41:08 You pop boners. You pop bottles. Yes. Yes. You pop pills, dude. You pop pills. Exactly. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Advil, because of the hangover. But you're right. When you're at brunch, dude, you got some ladies around, and you go, we'll take some bottomless mimosas for the table. I mean, bro. You could be getting laid by 2 p.m. 2 p.m done your day's over you could be by two dude you get mimosas and then you get eggs been you watch the sports center fucking three to midnight yeah let's go fucking go your day's done you're running dude dude being beautiful man being hung over at four o'clock in the afternoon
Starting point is 00:41:43 because you got drunk in the morning just watching SportsCenter on repeat it sounds you had to pick me up off on LA street remember that one time when I went out
Starting point is 00:41:51 for Jen Dixon Caroline's birthday yeah yeah yeah just out you just come scoop me yeah I was driving I was driving Becca's baby blue bug
Starting point is 00:41:58 cruising through LA cruising through the street JT dude I slept outside can you pick me up it was like 6.45 in the morning on a Saturday. I was like, yeah, sure, okay. Dude.
Starting point is 00:42:12 I was like, yeah, I was hanging out, man. Couldn't get an Uber, so I just curled up on the porch. Strides, strides. Mimosas and you're licking b-hole by three. I got to go with something that you can't even get anymore, dude. A fucking four locos dude the four fucking locos for every 22 year old every 35 year old who's 22 don't put a four locos past me brother by myself at noon on a wednesday don't do it dude i'll walk the dogs
Starting point is 00:42:42 i'll be on all fours walking my fucking dog, dude. We're both just prancing around the street sniffing shit. But yeah, dude, fun beer, dude. It has a mythology around it. You can like, dude's selling them on eBay. You got to go to the black market. You got to get crypto to get this shit. Now look, you can still get a Four Locos today, but the recipe's different.
Starting point is 00:43:02 It's not something that will kill you. Yeah, they nerfed it. It's not as low. They nerfed, bro. They had to nerf them, dude. I remember we literally, we stopped drinking them immediately because like,
Starting point is 00:43:10 you tell college kids like, it's not, it's not as fucking dumb as it was before and we're like, well, why would I drink it? Exactly.
Starting point is 00:43:18 I'll find something else that's like way safer. The danger's no longer there. Oh, I'm not gonna die if I drink it? Why would I do that? Ken Burns documentary about Four Loko. Black and white footage of dorms.
Starting point is 00:43:29 It's just breaking shit. Dude, the Ocho Loko, that was a move. Yeah. Two Four Lokos, you're having a night. Oh my God. Yeah. It was the best. And why'd they make it illegal?
Starting point is 00:43:38 Because it was just- University of Washington, some kids died. Yeah, it was terrible. You get hyped. Because it's literally an upper- It's like what a vodka Red bull is Like you have an upper And a downer
Starting point is 00:43:46 Which like Great trick Very bad It's a great trick I know Dude to blow up A young dicker too That's a lot of
Starting point is 00:43:52 That's why I asked About my mixed drink Yeah But What'd you say sorry No that's it Yeah so Yeah dude
Starting point is 00:44:00 Very gnarly dude So four locos Can't get them anymore Shouldn't Shouldn't be legal. Yeah, you went nuclear, bro. Yeah. Fucking just drop the nuke.
Starting point is 00:44:08 If it's an arms race, we're going to have to come back with something. That was, I mean, I think we should do five. There's so many drinks. Because I feel like we're actually, I thought it would be hard, but we're cooking. Well, because we're picking specific drinks that like there's a million fucking cocktails out there. Yeah, you can catch like beer. Right. Freshman year, we had Four Loco, but then they took it away. Yeah. you can catch like beer. Right. Freshman year we had four loco
Starting point is 00:44:25 but then they took it away. Yeah. That was a tough moment. I know. And then everything went downhill. Everything went downhill. I only had it for like, it was only like, we only found out about it and then they were outlawed within like five months of each other. Yeah. Maybe even less. So it was like but like in that couple month span when we were having a ball. Is that government overreach?
Starting point is 00:44:42 Like should it still be legal? It is. Yeah. No, let the kids mix it on their own. You could still do the same thing. Just like, let them, you know, like you could still have, so you would argue that it's too potent. I'm just saying like, look, so you made it a little harder on them
Starting point is 00:44:55 to have energy drinks and alcohol. Like, it's not that hard. You both buy them at the exact same store. You get Jolt Cola. Remember that shit? You get Jolt. You know, it's two things that should almost be legal, and we're letting you get away with it.
Starting point is 00:45:08 So then to combine them. Right. Just like make them do it. You're taking a mile out of an inch. You still have like Gatorade jugs that you can mix in. You disagree. Your libertarian instincts are kicking in. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:18 You know, because in college, people would get the Four Loko afterwards. I'm like, what do you? It's like a cheeseburger in a can there's no point right so i think give people the option you know some kids are going to go overboard but you weed them out i know it's so it's so tough before like what you let people get away with versus like is this actually good for people like no but it's not really portugal legalized everything and i heard it i heard it's nice i've been there i went there it's very nice. Beautiful.
Starting point is 00:45:46 Beautiful country. You can't tell? Yeah, I can't tell. No, everyone was fine. Although dudes did try to sell me cocaine. I don't know if I had a cocaine look. Literally every time I walked out of the hotel, guys were like,
Starting point is 00:45:56 yo, coke? Coke? Oh, that's awesome. And I was like, no, I'm cool. So how is the coke in Portugal? Dude, I didn't even try it. I didn't even try it. I was like tired going back to bed with my wife. That's what the coke's for! Exactly. They're like, you're going to need this, bro. Dude, you look't even try it. I didn't even try it. I was like tired going back to bed with my wife. That's what the Coke's for.
Starting point is 00:46:05 Exactly. They're like, you're going to need this, bro. Dude, you come back to the hotel room and be like, I got some Coke. Yeah, exactly. Just, hey, babe. Just cutting lines. Just don't do Coke, actually. Yeah, I was about to say.
Starting point is 00:46:16 Don't do it. Watch out for fentanyl. Yeah, that's true. Don't buy Coke in a foreign country either. Yeah, maybe. Or in America. Just don't buy it. I'm going to argue that outlawing for loco led to fentanyl.
Starting point is 00:46:28 Whoa. No, because I was thinking the same thing. It's like, okay, you made this illegal. Are kids going to stop doing dangerous substances that could be adverse to their health? No, they're going to jump a level. And now they're at cocaine. Kids don't even drink and fuck anymore. It's not a gateway drug.
Starting point is 00:46:44 It's a closed gate. It stops you cold. Good call. Kids don't even drink and fuck anymore. It's not a gateway drug. It's a closed gate. It stops you cold. Good call. Kids aren't drinking and fucking. That's true. That's weird, right? They don't fuck? Kids aren't drinking and fucking anymore.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I didn't fuck until I was 24. They might just be waiting. Yeah, but I think they're all just gaming too much. I know that's crazy to say. Gaming is sick. Have you played Battlefront 2? No, I haven't played a... Star Wars game?
Starting point is 00:47:06 I played Fallen Order. And then Survivor just came out a couple months ago. I might play that. This new update duped us, bro. The new update duped us. They didn't even update Rebirth. They just updated it. Well, because it's coming out later.
Starting point is 00:47:18 I know, but that's so disheartening. We couldn't get in yesterday. I had loading weapons blueprints for like 20 minutes. Yeah, bro. So it's the same map and same game? Actually, never mind. We did get in last night. We played Vondel. I had loading like weapons blueprints for like 20 minutes. It's the same map and same game. We did get in last night. We played Vondel. We had some sick ass time. Vondel's pretty tight. Vondel's tight, but I want Rebirth Island back. Oh, well, they said
Starting point is 00:47:35 Rebirth Island. I think they're saying Verdansk is supposed to come back in March. Somebody said that. Verdansk is supposed to come back in March. I mean, they had it. We'll be so happy. Bro, supposed to come back in March. I mean they had it We'll be so happy bro if it comes back to you that drop in prison, dude Go on a dandy or prison Danny's roof with helicopters. Oh sniping Casa de Moylan He's jerk off corner. Oh
Starting point is 00:48:01 And you got the update some freakin head glitches For sure For sure Bring back the What was the DMT-14 Oh that guy Oh the DMR DMR That thing was broken dude But it made guys like me and JT good It was a leveler dude
Starting point is 00:48:14 Sick place to get dubs He's got one more Okay And we digress You have two don't you I have two Oh Yeah
Starting point is 00:48:24 We were just talking about Fort Locos for so long I know You know what And we digress. You have two, don't you? I have two. Oh. Yeah, yeah. We were just talking about Fort Locos for so long. I know. You know what? I gotta go with it because I love it. And if you're at the X Games, if you're just looking
Starting point is 00:48:35 to get turnt up, if you're at a club, if Neo comes on, what are you drinking? Yeah. Vodka Red Bull. Yep. Gotta go with Vodka Red Bull.
Starting point is 00:48:44 I love Vodka Red Bull. Drinking at Zed's, I got so muffed up. i didn't even know where i was dude just fucking in vegas and then it was like 3 p.m i was in resort world with one shoe and i had no idea what i was doing he gets that's awesome brown look he gets that daniel stern i just hit two electric things together yeah yeah yeah yeah exactly that face right to our producer and i was like dude where am i yeah like i don't know dude walker red bull travis pastrana i only did those for like a 12-day stretch and i had to give him up because the next day my heart would just do oh yeah you like you like wake up what is that and you're trying to sleep at night in vegas and you like can't your body's all tight night in Vegas and your brain is tired but your body's like...
Starting point is 00:49:27 You feel so empowered. Also, it's terrible. I can smell it in my dumps. Oh, yeah. You can? It's all straight chemicals. Just a chemical, whatever it is. I'm like, oh, right, I had vodka Red Bulls last night.
Starting point is 00:49:44 Forgot about that I like them at comedy shows oh yeah it's nice having one like one to start the night in Vegas at the craps table
Starting point is 00:49:51 that's probably a comics worst nightmare to hear everyone's drinking that whole crowd's been drinking vodka Red Bulls you know just like just like I don't know
Starting point is 00:49:59 you guys are having a show maybe we're going out afterwards it was like yeah just the start of the night let's go a little pick me up get a little buzz going out afterwards I was like yeah That was fucking sick Just the start of the night Let's go A little pick me up Get a little buzz going
Starting point is 00:50:06 Yeah dude I love that Yeah delicious dude Sugar free Red Bulls Oh dude Light fan Nah dude Whatever
Starting point is 00:50:13 Whatever you got I don't give a fuck If you're at the club in Vegas Right You see the bottle girls Coming with the sparks Yeah dude They're bringing you vodka Red Bull
Starting point is 00:50:20 For sure And I already have a boner So They make you pay for the Red Bull You just paid 700 bucks For a fifth of little tiny Tito's dude Oh dudeer. They make you pay for the Red Bull. You just paid $700 for a fifth of little tiny Tito's, dude. Yeah, but then you go to the bar and they're like, you get this much of a cocktail
Starting point is 00:50:31 and they're like, $30. Probably is economically. It's like, I don't know the difference. Might as well just get the bottle. It's all bad. Next, I'm going to get my sophistication on. I'm going to get, you know, shaken, not stirred, fellas. I'm going with the martini.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Whoa, Mr. Vodka over here. Yeah. Mr. Vodka. Oh, dude, I am Mr. Vodka. You're Mr. Vodka. Yeah, martini. I mean, James Bond drink. Maybe too much vodka.
Starting point is 00:50:57 Yeah. The James Bond drink. Sorry. Got to play defense. What kind of defense, baby? I'm sorry. You're saying vodka martini Yeah vodka
Starting point is 00:51:06 Traditionally a gin drink I never had one They taste A martini Straight alcohol It's just alcohol That's chilled But I mean
Starting point is 00:51:13 Is there anything more Sophisticated It's sexy It's sexy One of the coolest things You can order in front of someone Yeah dude You get the olive in there
Starting point is 00:51:21 Yeah And olives Another thing that tastes like shit Yeah But like Horrible Correct So bad I love olives They're so bad Yeah I hate them Yeah, dude, you get the olive in there? Yeah. Yeah, and olives, another thing that tastes like shit, but like means something. That's horrible. Correct. So bad.
Starting point is 00:51:27 I love olives. They're so bad. Yeah, I hate them. I love olives, dude. I eat olives out of the fucking thing. You do? Yeah. Oh, I hate the taste.
Starting point is 00:51:33 I hate them. I hate them. Animal. Good for you, though. You should get into that. Olives and tuna. Some people love them. Did you do that as a kid?
Starting point is 00:51:38 Yeah. You eat olives and tuna together? Yeah. As a kid? Yeah. Whoa. I guess that's when you have to start. I'm weird, dude.
Starting point is 00:51:45 I'm weird, dude. I'm weird, dude. I love all of oil. I love all of oil. Well, you know what? Martinis, it's for guys who fuck. Oh! You're right. You fucking dude!
Starting point is 00:51:54 You don't just don't say that, dude. James Bond fucks. Dude, he fucks. He does. He's the ultimate. Except in this most recent one where they kind of had to sand him down. But dude, in Skyfall, when he's playing with the scorpion
Starting point is 00:52:08 and then he has a martini and they bone some random chick on the island. It's cool. Not a bad way to be your down time. That's him at his low. I know, he's like, I'm having such a bad time. Getting cheered on
Starting point is 00:52:24 by a crowd of 30 while I drink. You get it. He's having a bad time yeah I mean getting measured on by a crowd of 30 while I drink I mean having a wearing a tux and ordering a martini you're eating but you're definitely yeah but holes are being eaten mmm if only to let the other person know you will. That's so true. Oh, man. Let's see. Fuck, man. This is crazy. What else do college kids drink?
Starting point is 00:52:51 No, I'm kidding. Let's see. Dude, I'm thinking about... You know... You know, at this stage in the game... At this stage in the game, you're me. What do you got to drink? Dude, I can give you a suggestion. Please.
Starting point is 00:53:15 If you want to stay on. I'll take suggestions. I know what you're going to say. Which one? I'm not going to choose this, but are you thinking college kid stuff? Yeah. Are you thinking Jungle Juice? No, that's a good one. That's Juice? No, but that's a good one.
Starting point is 00:53:25 That's a really good one. That's a good one. Mine was kind of the official version of that. Oh, yeah. I was going to pick that one. I don't even know what it is, so I can't pick it. I don't even know what it is. You know what I'm going to go with?
Starting point is 00:53:36 I'm going to go with, ah, man. What do they drink in Greenville, South Carolina? Man, what booze do I like what gets me fired up those are pretty much all the booze that i enjoy trying to think if there's any strategic beverage to put on the list at this point in time um maybe i'm gonna fucking go with the Bloody Mary oh good pick I'm a little vodka heavy on my list
Starting point is 00:54:13 but this is the hair of the dog this is your recuperation drink that's a good call tasty you know tasty dude delicious also you can get some Bloody Marys that are a little bit gauche if I say a little ostentatious,
Starting point is 00:54:27 where it has like a fucking double-double cheeseburger on the fucking straw with like a crab claw and like a dildo. And you're like, what is this thing? Usually it's just a piece of fucking cucumber in there. Not cucumber, celery. But yeah, dude, I like a spicy one. Put Tabasco in there? Oh, baby, 100%.
Starting point is 00:54:41 Dude, I like a spicy one. Put Tabasco in there? Oh, baby, 100%. And watching a pro make a Bloody Mary, like Mike, who runs ATC, he makes a great Bloody Mary. The way my dad would order it when we'd go out. He doesn't want the mix. He just wants straight tomato juice because he doesn't like the taste of the mix. And he liked a lot of Worcestershire sauce.
Starting point is 00:55:00 Horseradish, right? Horseradish. And Worcestershire's in there, too. He had it down to a – he knew exactly how he wanted it I feel like it's a real it allows everybody to be a chemist it's a meal it's a meal
Starting point is 00:55:11 it is a meal I wish I liked them I wish you liked them too no I don't because it would work it would work it'd be cool but like my morning drink
Starting point is 00:55:18 I gotta go mimosa because I just can't I can't put down it is a great yeah you can't put down too many of them you are right especially if you get a spicy one but dude honestly bro I can't put down one it is a great yeah, you can't put down too many of them You are right, especially if you get a spicy one, but dude, honestly, bro
Starting point is 00:55:26 It is a little here of the dog like it's nice. You get one of those fucking things You don't need that much you sip you Yeah, it's like it's like something you pour into the engine to clean it out yeah, yeah if the engine was made of shit It's all just shit. It's just gonna get you to the finish line then collapse you're just trying to survive in advance so yeah there you go the bloody mary you know and it's taste the cucumber you get crunch it makes a meal of it it's a little meal yeah olive yeah you can get an olive in there i say hold the olive when i order actually you know what i say i say bring me some extra olives and i give it to you and we go like this.
Starting point is 00:56:05 Then you fuck me. Exactly. Then I fuck you too. I was bouncing around like a virgin jackrabbit because I was worried this guy was going to get taken right before I got my filthy tongue into it. But I am so excited to drop this on you fellas.
Starting point is 00:56:21 And I know it's going to set the roof on fire. Is that your boat oh baby motherfucking smart drink do you know what i'm saying i'm a fiend for these oh yeah oh baby yes damn it damn it there it is bro the mojito The mojito. The mojito. Beautiful. Beautiful. How did we not even think of that? I wasn't even thinking of it. Fuck, man. You resurrected your list. That should have been your first pick.
Starting point is 00:56:52 Brutal hangover. Because I knew I was going to get it there, baby. Should have been your first pick. Brutal hangover. F's you up the next day. But dude, you can put them down. And for my money. Garty.
Starting point is 00:57:03 Depending on where you vacation, if you're a beach vacationer it's number one yeah it goes well with the with the energy yes it's so fun dude it's so fun I love them very sweet oh it's a sugar a lot of rum got a bunch of sugar it's very sweet drink rums of I don't made from came from yeah but when i do it's nice because it's so yeah you're we're hanging at the pool you're at a resort you're drinking mojitos rules and watching them make it when they're doing the thing oh yeah yeah where they crush up the mint the mortar the mortar and pistol that was my cocktail at uh at my wedding oh dude let's go bro see that man See that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:45 Do you see? I didn't have one. Did I have one? We were in a pool in Vegas one time, and JT ordered 30 mojitos, and the bartender went, are you serious? And JT goes, 30 mojitos. Wow. Is that for Danny's bachelor party? I think so, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:56 Yeah, I gotta tell you. It was like 15 dudes, and then we had some ladies. You get like one weekend in your life where you're just on fire. Yeah. Oh, yeah. For 48 hours, I could not could not miss oh it was incredible that's awesome that's awesome we're just holding two mojitos it's like it's a hundred degrees out you feel so good life is in my crosshairs like a 12 point out because i was boom mario getting
Starting point is 00:58:15 the star dude you're just walking around dude yeah shimmering dude everything's bouncing only weed and booze too a lot of people think i do pills just weed and booze yeah no pills none of that no no easy with the pills guys don't do it kept it clean no and drink responsibly don't get crazy chris it's tough dude there's a lot of really good ones that i'm thinking about doing ah i was thinking about going with another tropical beachy drink but i don't think i can't she just took the mojito so it'd be tough. It'd be tough. I don't know if I want it. We're doing five, right? So it's going to come back to me? Yeah, you get two right now. I get two right now. This is...
Starting point is 00:58:50 Or no. This is my last two, right? This is your last one. Oh yeah, because you've done four. Your last one. Yeah. Because right now you have tequila. You have Manhattan. And cervezas. Cervezas and what else? And we're doing five? Oh, so you get two here and then you're done.
Starting point is 00:59:05 And then it swings back and then we all get one. Shit. Yeah. Shit. All right. I'm going to go. Fuck. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:17 I'm going to go Savvy B, baby. Sauvignon Blanc, dude. Sauvignon Blanc. I like a Sauvignon Blanc. I love it, dude. You can drink it in the morning It's just like It's classy
Starting point is 00:59:27 It's like Oh I'm not getting after it But guess what dude You can freaking pound Sauvignon Blanc Dude You can pound some Sauvignon Blanc It goes down so smooth
Starting point is 00:59:35 You're right Fuck Chardonnay Most of the time Yes Sometimes it's fine I love A lot of people A light crisp Sauvignon Blanc
Starting point is 00:59:41 Drink it all day dude So do I A lot of people like a different wine At a pool, I won't say, in case anyone wants it. But I take a sav B by the pool. Yeah. I think it's so versatile because you can have it with dinner. You know what I mean? Work event.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Oh, I'm just going to take it easy. Just a glass of savvy B, please. But also, I'm getting after it with the boys. Playing a scramble with Mike. Freaking crushed a bottle to get us started off on the right foot I love that cause you can rage
Starting point is 01:00:09 you can you can I love sobbing it's smooth and yeah it's got a little dryness to it I wanted a wine you know what I mean
Starting point is 01:00:14 smart to get a wine smart I got tequila shots I got a bourbon drink let's get a nice light white in there smart and then for my last one
Starting point is 01:00:24 I want an upper and a downer i'm going espresso martini oh a lot of fun all the rage right now but i gotta say mom monica parr she was on the espresso martini train over a decade ago dude wow she was all over to like this drink rocks you know it's nice right at the end of dinner you have one people are doing tequila in it now which is kind of crazy but i'm gonna go with vodka espresso martini uh classic freaking boosties right before send you to the freaking moon yeah exactly oh we just had a big dinner but we're going out afterwards what's something that could get me really fucking drunk and give me a little bit
Starting point is 01:01:06 of energy boost yeah bring on the classy espresso martini it's gonna taste like candy so it's the only martini i can probably actually well it's not sure there's like appletinis and cosmos and stuff that are more sweet but it's the best one of the sweet ones in my opinion um no it's and yeah i'll do that to run on my list because yeah yeah, I wanted a, I wanted an upper with a downer. You got to have it. You got to have some a little dangerous. Yeah. And, and you know, you have one of those, you get to your second location, you go to the bathroom, you drop the fattest dump you've ever dropped. Oh yeah. And then you're ready to fucking run. And then you're ready to go. Yeah. Don't, uh, don't pound too many cause they are strong. They are dangerous. Um, I'm in a tough spot here I like your list right now you
Starting point is 01:01:49 resurrected it I mean you stole high PS from me still that was so dirty I was so savage bro but honestly at number one not not but still but still when were you gonna pick it um maybe around on the turn I was not gonna go no you were gonna pick it number one. No, no, no. I was never number one. All right. Yeah, sure thing.
Starting point is 01:02:07 He thought he could get it on the way. No, he thought he was getting it in the one hole. How did you trick IPAs? I saw his face, man. I know this motherfucker. Nope. Yeah. Number one spot.
Starting point is 01:02:15 Oh, was he like, were you really sad? Did he show your face? I never show sadness in my face. Were you freaking crying, bro? I don't feel sad at work out. Were you crying, bro? I lift weights, so I don't get sad. Thanks, Chris.
Starting point is 01:02:25 I'm going to have to go with the old-fashioned. Dude, who are you, me? Which is actually with Don Draper drinks. I messed that up. I needed a whiskey drink. I've never had one. Full disclosure. It's a man's drink. I've got fun stuff on there.
Starting point is 01:02:41 I've got frou-frou on there, but where's the backbone of America? It's on the old-fashioned. And I just imagine, not me, but one day I'll be hanging out with a bunch of guys and they'll all order them. Yeah. Dude. Typically with a rye. You have a rye. You can get a bourbon, but typically with a rye whiskey.
Starting point is 01:02:56 A lot of workers have been exploited over old-fashioned. I feel like it's a drink that lubricated american commerce right like you're like you're like a steel baron that's what you're drinking the gilded age it was invented during the gilded age you're like you're like yeah let's let's break up that strike we don't want them unionizing well you know and then they go all right that settles that like you get one of the union guys to turn bad you give them a little a little equity a little feeling of power and then he sells out his own and you, you're one of us now. And you just pass him in old-fashioned.
Starting point is 01:03:26 Yeah. Wow. Yes, we'll condemn the strengths in the South and support it in the North. Is it my turn? Yeah. I'm going to go with the Pina Colada, dude. Good pick.
Starting point is 01:03:39 It's a fun drink. I know you're thinking about it, and it kind of gave me the idea, but I love Pina Coladas. They're so good. They're the best It's a rum based drink. It's a fun fucking drink. It's a it's vacation. Also. There's a song about it I want one with a song
Starting point is 01:03:53 Really fun scene in that movie dirty works when he hits the jukebox and it's fucking a lot of us but Dude, I was housing these things I was standing in all of exclusive resort one of the first vacations me and my dank ass wife went on together And it was a trial for our relationships. We'd a week in mexico together it was our first long time vacation we got along famously and they had fucking pina coladas on tap bro you just go up you go pina colada free i was double fisting pina coladas at the pool it was amazing get a rum floater too oh yeah on the top like you do like like you do like a dark rum like like myers you do a floater on top so it's a little bit more bang for your buck obviously all inclusive you
Starting point is 01:04:30 don't need to do that but they also water those babies down so it's a way to get a little bit more booze in there that is true dude the best peanut cloud i've ever had in my life though costa rica hands down dude costa rica bro we were talking about this the pineapple there it's incredible dude they're so good dude so yeah i just field trip costa rica we're all getting pina's dude let's go dude also i had a liquor there down there called par there's a liqueur called par p-a-r-r-o-l-d par yeah yeah yeah big guy with a big old beard lived to be 140 or something really that's his tail on the back. Dude, that's all.
Starting point is 01:05:07 Yeah, I remember I took a shot of that. It was awesome. So yeah, pina coladas, dude. Getting lost in the rain. Love that. All right, I'm going to go with a personal fave. My list is all about partying. I know what you're doing.
Starting point is 01:05:19 No, I actually have a different one, but I know what you're thinking. Okay. But it's similar. It's similar. You too. So cute. I love it. That was awesome. but it's similar it's similar so cute so um that was awesome so is when you go to cabo when you go to cabo yeah you want to get muffed up yeah what do you drink adios adios is that what you were
Starting point is 01:05:34 picking yeah yeah i knew it i knew it adios dude you got a picture of that yeah what do you think I was thinking? Long Island. No! No! Long Island. Long Island. Long Island. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. You go to the office, and you're like, give me a picture of the blue. And you get a picture of the Adios motherfucker. You get muffed up, and then you're just grinding to friggin' Kevin Little on the dance floor.
Starting point is 01:05:59 Absolutely. Oh, dude. A little Fergie glamorous. Yeah. Oh, gee. Dude. A. M. I don't think I've ever popped more boners in a draft than this one. A little Fergie glamorous G-L-A-N I don't think I've ever popped more boners in a draft And it's blue dude
Starting point is 01:06:10 And just saying we get to order an Adios Adios motherfucker You know where you're next I'll take an Adios motherfucker Dude That fired me up It's so fun What is in it?
Starting point is 01:06:25 I don't know Blue, Gatorade, and like what else? Give me the one that looks like Gatorade Oh God, I would never That's so bad, dude Grain alcohol? I think so Grain alcohol is gnarly
Starting point is 01:06:37 It has a half ounce of vodka, half ounce of rum, half ounce of tequila, half ounce of gin Oh my God It's everything, dude Half ounce of blue cur half ounce of tequila, half ounce of gin. It's everything, dude. Half ounce of blue Curacao. Two ounces sweet and sour mix and then Spriter 7-Up to top it off. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 01:06:55 What the hell is Spriter 7-Up? Sprite or something. I thought he said Spider 7-Up and I was like, what is that? Some people call them AMF if they don't like to curse and then other people call them a blue motorcycle dude i i i uh last time i had i had a pitcher in cabo we were there yeah dude well it's not actually spring break i couldn't move the next day that's how gnarly oh i bet dude i bet that's. That's what you want. You earned it, right? I got chocolate milkshakes with vodka.
Starting point is 01:07:26 Oh. Why would you ruin a chocolate shake? I don't know, dude. They're good. They're good. Just eat some toast. Just enjoy a chocolate shake and drink a vodka. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:38 Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm going to get a nice juicy steak and then I'm going to pour shitty booze all over it. Yeah, exactly. Just to ruin the taste. all over I do some honorable mention shots here you get the flaming dr. pepper Oh headed so all the redheaded yeah you get the surfer on fire surfer on acid cause no it's a little tin cause I don't want to gun gosh I gotta give a shout John Street Capitol yeah he's been. Him and his friends from high school, they would pregame with getting an ice block,
Starting point is 01:08:12 cutting a lane into it, and doing 151 shots on an ice block. They would do that every weekend they partied. Oh my gosh. So I had to give a shout out because I had never seen that. We were like, who's picking up the ice block? And then they'd be just chinking it away out there. Like getting the little runway in and then just doing 150. Never seen that before.
Starting point is 01:08:33 Haven't seen it again. Oh, so bad. That's hilarious. Dude, uh. The Mai Tai? The Mai Tai is so good. The classic vodka pole. You get a handle of vodka.
Starting point is 01:08:41 Dude, someone could have picked that. I thought about doing a pole. That was the best. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. Man, I used to be so good at those. You get a two pull. Dude, someone could have picked that. I thought about doing a handle pull. That was the best. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't even think about that. Man, I used to be so good at those. You get a two liter squirt, you're tanked. You usually just pass that thing around. Just pulls, bro.
Starting point is 01:08:53 You know when you used to be nervous to go to a party and you just pass the bottle and it's got courage in you? You just get, you feel that heat. I'm ready. Get me in there. We're doing pulls, bro. Like, it's usually a pop off or something terrible. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:04 Oh, yeah. Maybe a Smirnoff if you got lucky. Yeah. G&T? G&T's are good. Shout out Conor Burroughs. Yeah, they do love their G&T. Dude, Mad Dog 2020? I thought about those. I thought you were going to take those at one point. Bumwine, baby!
Starting point is 01:09:19 Oh, yeah, dude. Old English, too. Yeah, I thought about 40s. Is there anything? Prepping last night Right before I went to bed I turned to Beck And I was like Dude how funny is The game
Starting point is 01:09:30 It's not even a game Edward 40 hands It's hilarious Just taping your hands With 40s So you can't use your hands And you can't piss If you have to piss
Starting point is 01:09:37 You have to piss yourself It's too funny It's like It's just so dumb It's not even a game You know what I mean It's just amazing You were good at it Or Wizard Sticks dude Remember Wizard Sticks That's the one Wizard Staff Wizard Staff is fun dude It's like, it's just so dumb. It's not even a game. You know what I mean? It's just amazing.
Starting point is 01:09:45 You were good at it. Or Wizard Sticks, dude. Remember Wizard Sticks? Oh, that's the one we were good at. Wizard Staff. Wizard Staff is fun, dude. That was fun. That's a good game. What about Cocaine?
Starting point is 01:09:52 Cocaine is... Yes. I mean, could people even keep going sometimes if they didn't have it? No. And like, you could try and... I never... That's where the RBVs come in. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:03 It's the same thing. It's the same to you Man This makes me want to party I know Well that's it Dude or like Or like
Starting point is 01:10:10 When are we going to a resort Let's drive to Vegas Take a drink Monday at one Yeah exactly But you know I think yeah We could probably do it
Starting point is 01:10:18 I'm sure What other What other cocktails are there There's gotta be some more I know White Russian White Russians are fun Yeah Yeah, very hip. Kind of annoying guys, though, after they saw
Starting point is 01:10:27 the big Lebowski. Yeah, but it's been enough time now. I had one for the first time in years the other day. It was actually solid. Did you guys say Moscow Mule? I don't like ginger beer. That was going to be one of my picks. Whiskey Sour. Well, the nice thing about the Moscow Mule is that they have
Starting point is 01:10:43 their own cups. They have special cups that they come in. The copper gimlet thing. I do love that. Negroni. I don't like Negronis, but people like those. It's like an Italian old-fashioned. This is why the Mule was so popular. Because you came in its own cup. It's smart. It kind of annoys me. Good branding.
Starting point is 01:10:59 Tequila Sunrise, bro. Thought about doing that, but I was like, you know, I like shots more. What about that guy? What is that? Oh, Whiskey Sour. Yeah, during the holidays. Whiskey Sours are fun, dude. Thought about doing that, but I was like, you know, I like shots more. What about that guy? What is that? Oh, Whiskey Sour. Yeah, during the holidays. Whiskey Sour's are fun, dude. The egg whites in there? Other holiday one is that shit that tastes like shit.
Starting point is 01:11:13 Oh, yeah, Eggnog. Horrible. Oh, Eggnog. Horrendous. Sex on the beach. Sex on the beach. I never tried it. What about this?
Starting point is 01:11:20 That's not bad. Irish Cream, dude. Irish Cream. Oh, yeah, Irish Cream. Like an Irish coffee. Irish Coffee is good. That's a good one. It's actually good. Yeah cream Like a Bailey's coffee Like an Irish coffee Irish coffee is good That's a good one It's actually good
Starting point is 01:11:27 Yeah it's just like It's like It's You'd think that the coffee Would cut through the whiskey A little bit more But it doesn't It doesn't yeah
Starting point is 01:11:33 It's a lot of whiskey But it's fun I like a good stout What's like a Guinness What's a Yeah stout Yeah Guinness is great A hot toddy
Starting point is 01:11:41 It's actually lighter Than you'd think Hot toddies are fun Hot toddies are nice If you're in winter You know you're surrounded by snow get you some hot toddy yeah dude you get hot chocolate peppermint schnapps oh tasty i want to cuddle over that sea breeze cape cod time that's good screwdrivers dude freaking screwdrivers more popular yeah i mean they're like it's also it's also, if you're trying to turn up in the morning, you could
Starting point is 01:12:07 do a screwdriver. If you're like, no, I don't want to mess with the bloodies, don't want to mess with the mimosa, double screwdriver. I think you could use a brand makeover. Like, the name should be different. Right. Or like, put it in like a fancier glass or something. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:12:19 That's the same problem that AMF has. Dude, Faderates. Oh, Faderade, bro. Yeah. The Gatorade never cut it down. It did always just taste like vodka. You're like,
Starting point is 01:12:29 it was so, it was always just so much. I remember that a lot growing up too. Someone would be like, do you taste this? You can barely taste the booze. Then you sip it,
Starting point is 01:12:37 it's the strongest thing you've ever had. No, dude, I'm dancing. Yeah, well, it turns out high schoolers
Starting point is 01:12:41 aren't the best at making cocktails. Or you hear a horse, a guy tell you a horse, dude, I was fucking middle of the night. I was so thirsty. Go to the fridge. Fucking unscrew a water bottle.
Starting point is 01:12:50 Vodka. That happened to me at ASU. I tried to brush my teeth in the morning. It was vodka. Oh, God. That was horrible. That's so horrible. It was horrible.
Starting point is 01:12:59 All right. I think we have to plan a party after this. We should throw a party. Oh, dude. You guys? You guys ever throw a party Oh dude You guys You guys ever throw a party dude Like an official party It's been a couple years
Starting point is 01:13:09 You guys should do a bunch You guys should have a bunch Of Jaeger shots at the party Oh Jaeger Fucking Jaeger Or Ruppelmintz Remember how bad that was The mouthwash and stuff
Starting point is 01:13:17 Ruppelmintz gets you fucked up It does What was the one that we liked Jaeger Moms Gold Gold Schlager Gold Schlager Dude I got a terrible hangover
Starting point is 01:13:24 From that Flex of gold in it? It's a jingle ball. It's really strong. It's like cinnamon booze. And it's really fucking strong. It tastes like shit. Yeah, it sucks.
Starting point is 01:13:37 Most of this stuff tastes like shit. The stuff that I picked is stuff that I can drink. Because most booze I find revolting. Nobody said anything about scotch because it sounds like we all hate it. Oh, yeah. Just like the smokiest shit ever. Dude, you go to New Orleans, you get Hurricane.
Starting point is 01:13:55 The daiquiris. Daiquiris. Dude, strawberry daiquiris. Hurricane's like rum. I mean, those are all like grain alcohol and like red. You get the hand grenade. What's in that? I don't know.
Starting point is 01:14:09 It's gunpowder. It's kind of gnarly. Dude, you got to, in New Orleans, there's like the oldest bar in the country. I forget its name, but they have, they just have purple drink. And it's just like a slushy, purple slushy. Grain alcohol.
Starting point is 01:14:25 It's gin. Hand Grenade is gin, white rum, Kettle One vodka, green melon liqueur, and then pineapple juice. It's good, dude. I had two. I was muffed up. What if it's just multiple boozes in one guy? Well, yeah, the Long Island's, man. Dude, do slushy versions of that?
Starting point is 01:14:47 It's probably smart to do it because it's harder to chug. Yeah. Because if you're doing like on rocks, you could probably chug Long Island's much faster than if it was ice. Aaron, honorable mentions? I'm the worst person to ask. I don't drink, so. This is already tough for me guys
Starting point is 01:15:06 Soju Because of a Korean barbecue Drink a lot of soju It's very fun Oh sake Sake All those rice wines Those are fun
Starting point is 01:15:14 I should have done that Guys I'm interrupting this podcast Letting you know once again That we are on tour So much fun The shows We do Q&A We do stand up
Starting point is 01:15:23 You're going to have a blast If you want to get stoked Come to the shows We're in a we do stand up you're gonna have a blast if you want to get stoked come to the shows we're in minneapolis tomorrow we are in detroit has a comedy friday saturday so november 16th minneapolis detroit has a comedy friday saturday get your tickets chat jt.com we're also going to be in denver i believe december 7th and 8th and 9th maybe 6th through 8th uh get your tickets at chanjt.com we love seeing you guys out there thank you to everyone who's come out and if you're thinking about doing it make sure you hop on that link because i guarantee you will have a good time we also
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Starting point is 01:17:18 It's time to ho-ho-hydrate this season. Hell yeah. I had some this morning, morning actually just for electrolytes i feel fantastic um we're also brought to you by the rumple best blankets in the biz if you're if you're looking to go camping or if you're looking to just snuggle up with your boo or your dog or you're just looking to snuggle up alone and watch the patriot i mean get on rumple they're used with recycled, durable materials, and they're the best blankets.
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Starting point is 01:18:42 It's going to be off the market soon, so make sure you get it. Alright, let's get back to the show. Yeah, some Stokier. It's going to be off the market soon, so make sure you get it. All right, let's get back to the show. Yeah, disclaimer, Stokers. Aaron doesn't drink, so don't come at him too hard for his decision. I feel like my list is very balanced. Yeah, it's going to be based on personality and arguments. Mice hard partying. Overall dankness.
Starting point is 01:19:04 Yeah, and you also understand the cultural significance of these things, right? Like, you hear about them. I saw you guys get very excited, so that matters. Hell yeah. This is kind of nice. It's kind of nice that he's unbiased like this. This is kind of maybe the way to do it. Dude.
Starting point is 01:19:20 Bear fights. Irish car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Back to back Yeah and then They fight in your stomach Did we talk about Sake bombs We just got there
Starting point is 01:19:30 Oh yeah Sake bombs Sake bombs are so fun Bro I should have done that Dude I missed out on a lot Sake bombs I mean Damn
Starting point is 01:19:38 Those are so fun You go to a table And you do it at a restaurant Where they're not really expecting it And then you just see some old guy Like jump out of his seat. Well, dude, if you're like... I mean, to look...
Starting point is 01:19:47 Just having a nice dinner of sushi. I think it's a terrorist attack. Oh, it's unbelievable. Everyone's like, you get your family, dude. Yeah. We got to get out of here. They're getting rowdy.
Starting point is 01:19:56 That's a good one, dude. There's eight dudes at that table and they're all doing sake bombs. We got to get the fuck out. Get the kids. This one was fun, man. This was fun. Yeah, dude.
Starting point is 01:20:11 I was worried about it at first. I was like, wait, what? But then we found the parameters. We all found it together, dude. Yeah. It is interesting that we never specified the parameters before, but it was nice. You guys checked me right away. It's the democratic process.
Starting point is 01:20:24 Aaron, hit us. Is it my time right away. It's a democratic process. Aaron, hit us. Is it my time? Yes. Okay. I'm going to have to come down hard on JT. Whoa. Oh, no. Damn.
Starting point is 01:20:41 Because your number one pick, you didn't seem that interested. Well, no. You're just stealing from Strider, which is funny. He drinks hippas now. No, hippa really was. It was between those two. And once they put harder parameters on my domestics and I didn't get the Bud Diesels, I had to make a smart pivot to the hippa.
Starting point is 01:21:01 But I do agree in the moment I didn't sell it as well as I could have. But sometimes I don't want to sell it it especially when it's something i really love that's the sound of my bullshit meter going off um look it's just it's purely based on arguments at this point guys i have no clue how to go with most of this um let's see oh let me let me recap your drafts first that's crazy that i didn't do that uh i'm drunk um chris we got chris with tequila shots manhattan mexican beers sauvignon blanc espresso martini jt Pinot Noir Mimosa Mojito Old Fashioned Strider
Starting point is 01:21:47 Light Beers Vodka Soda Four Loko Bloody Mary Pina Colada And Chad With Whiskey Shot Margarita
Starting point is 01:21:56 Vodka Red Bull Martini And Adios Motherfuckers Honestly I gotta say I love my Honestly
Starting point is 01:22:03 It's kind of sick The fucking Adios I fucking I think I think Mine has no weaknesses I mean your list is fantastic I like it I mean
Starting point is 01:22:13 I love everyone's list I thought you had a great list Yeah The thing is I would drink the fuck Out of most of your guys' lists Yeah We did a great job
Starting point is 01:22:20 We nailed it And we missed a few fun ones I missed Sake Bombs Yeah Sake Bom bombs is fun dude it's so specific it's such a exactly it's such a fun moment and it's different from anything else because you get the sake it's a rice wine yeah yeah we didn't think about the bombs i know all the bomb drinks exactly chad got the closest it's true i think we all did a great job i gotta tell you yeah you guys were serving up any of your drinks i'd have them you guys are fucking cool It's true. Swing, dude. I think we all did a great job. I got to tell you.
Starting point is 01:22:45 If you guys were serving up any of your drinks, I'd have them. You guys are fucking cool, man. Next draft, drugs. There's no stakes for this draft, though, is there? We're just chilling. There's nothing coming up. No, next political scandal. Oh, this is what you're going to do?
Starting point is 01:23:00 Oh, you have. It's okay. It just lasts. But keep going. Keep going. What? I need to know if there are stakes. No, but you can't know. It's okay. It's okay. But keep going. Keep going. What? I need to know if there are stakes. No, but you can't know.
Starting point is 01:23:07 Go. Okay. All right. Oh, God. This is amazing. I feel like you guys, the next three are all very close. I think you're all very close, obviously. It's like a shirt.
Starting point is 01:23:16 It's not like anyone tanked anything. I also didn't feel like Chad's number one he was that passionate about it yeah good call the rest of your list you were obviously wait so Chad gets you said Chad got number one right now
Starting point is 01:23:35 no I said his his number one he wasn't as passionate about as the rest of his list yeah good call like a stumble start but then he then he crushed it the rest of the way i did yeah it's true um i did crush that dude of everything that's on this list of on your list that i've never heard
Starting point is 01:23:56 of was the espresso martini um it's like the biggest drink in the world right now okay if i could advocate for my list it's all the rage it's popping baby all right um cool yeah young kids take your drink meatballs and drinking espresso martinis late at night great real housewives assault like dude lady pounded him just puking and pissing herself on the shuttle. It was awesome. And two people are fighting, and it's like, what did you say? And then the drunk lady just goes, Predator.
Starting point is 01:24:30 She's like, yes, that was it. That's amazing. That's amazing. Predator. Guys, I actually pulled an audible. I'm going to have a guest judge. Whoa. What?
Starting point is 01:24:54 Whoa, this is huge. This is actually a great call. This is a great call don't tell him whose list is whose Oh smart just give him the list yes yes this is Aaron do this is why he produces this is why he does what he does this is why he is who he is why he does what he does! This is why he is who he is! Chris got so excited he has to piddle. No, no, you got plenty of time. You'll see. You'll hear the list. I think you'll hear the list. Oh my god. Wait, should we get Mike on a mic though?
Starting point is 01:25:22 Yeah, Mike needs to be on a mic, dude. Yeah, 100%. Mike, can you split that mic with Aaron? Oh, Mike needs to be on a mic, dude. Yeah, 100%. Mike, can you split that mic with Aaron? Oh, but don't look at who's list it is, though. I took the names off. Oh, beautiful, beautiful. Smart. Oh, dude, this is one of the...
Starting point is 01:25:33 I am so excited. Dude, Aaron. And scared. What a legendary move. I would not have anticipated this. Aaron gets it, dude. In a million years. Oh, man, it just became an episode, dude.
Starting point is 01:25:44 You're listening to this? Well, if you're listening right now... Imagine you bought a ticket yeah oh all right all right all right you guys hear me yes sir we don't have i don't have cans on we don't have cans but i'm sure it's going through uh cans is podcasting for headphones hi stokers this is mike bertolina what up i am gonna read these just one by one. Okay? We've already recapped. I know, but this is for me to read.
Starting point is 01:26:09 All right. Tequila shots, a Manhattan, Mexican beers, Sauvignon Blanc, and an espresso martini. That's pretty fucking... Okay, so hold on a second. All right. Just so you know, Mike doesn't know whose list is whose. Yeah, yeah, yeah. IPAs, Pinot Noir, Mimosas, Mojito, and an Old Fashioned. Okay, so you're basically covering the whole spectrum of alcoholic drinks.
Starting point is 01:26:39 Okay, I like it. I mean all. You didn't have to cover certain categories? It's just free for all. Nope, it's free for for all Next up, light beers Vodka soda Four loco Bloody Mary
Starting point is 01:26:52 And pina colada We all gotta like stay Lastly Whiskey shot Margarita Vodka Red Bull Martini I don't know what an adios motherfuckers is can someone explain it's a long island iced tea with like blue liqueur in it yeah all right so that's yours huh
Starting point is 01:27:12 no no no we all know or maybe yeah maybe it does okay so this is tough because it's all very like subjective you know yeah right except for the one that's obviously the best okay so i'm just i go dude i don't know how to do this this is crazy aaron came in big dude mike's here dude who do i think finish mike's the head of the network he'll cut everyone's podcast if if he's unhappy he'll say you're off the air i like that there was some wine in this, too. Yeah, we're not heathens. No.
Starting point is 01:27:51 We like to find our things. Do you take into account the order with which they're picked? I do. You do. Let's share this mic. Can people hear you? You get heat for taking picks that way. Yeah, I get hit for the draft order. But that's your value. That's what I do. Let's share this. Let's share this mic. Can people hear you? You get heat for taking pics that way. Yeah, I get heat for the draft order.
Starting point is 01:28:07 But that's your value. That's what I do. JT had to step, just for those listening, JT had to step out of the room. He was so nervous. Is this live right now? Yeah. No, it's not. Oh, no, no, it's not live.
Starting point is 01:28:17 It's going to get ready. Okay. Whoa. Holy shit. To the winner. This is, I've never had a Four Loko before, you guys know change your life man have you lived man so i'm naturally see because the thing with me is i'm naturally going cocktails first uh-huh um judge how you judge it sounds like you and i are just not going to connect on this one aaron yeah i have no i have no grounds and i think if you put this to the fans
Starting point is 01:28:52 it's going to be different every single time on who they pick so look i love all of you guys we love you that's why you're doing it blind you got yeah it's blind this is what i'm gonna go for me personally is in last place in last place come on you guys all have something i like uh but what do i like it's like he's describing us But what do I like the most? It's like he's describing us, not just our list. This is so scary. I'm almost more nervous about getting last than first, dude.
Starting point is 01:29:30 I don't even know what I'm nervous about. To me, that's a value pick. I'm just dying over here. No colluding amongst the judges, though. Okay, yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. Mike, you're the ax.
Starting point is 01:29:41 This is hard, dude. It's a tough job, but you've got to swing it. All right, I'm going to go ahead and swing. So last place is light dude. It's a tough job, but you've got to swing it. All right, I'm going to go ahead and swing. So last place is Light Beers. That's me. Who is that? Me.
Starting point is 01:29:51 Strider. Sorry, Strider. I felt like I was going to get a last place on this one. Then I'm going to go Adios. Damn. It's Chad. Chad. And then I'm going to go Tequila Shots second. IPA first.
Starting point is 01:30:10 Oh my god, unbelievable! Comeback dub! That's a huge comeback! That's a huge comeback, dude. From last to first, he's a champ, dude. He never gave up. They're all really close to each other. I liked all of those lists.
Starting point is 01:30:24 Fuck! Good win, dude. Fuck! Nice, dude. IP champ, dude. He never gave up. They're all really close to each other. Fuck! Good win, dude. Fuck! I liked every list that I read. It's just... What did I pick last? Yeah, Light Beers and Four Loko just felt very...
Starting point is 01:30:39 I don't know. Fair enough, baby. That's how it goes. You go for the college... Who did I do second? Adios. I don't know what an Adios motherfucker is. And anytime shots are involved, I'm just not that into it. So that's why I lost for the tequila shots? That's what tequila shots.
Starting point is 01:30:54 Oh, man. We loved those. But you know what they're saying? Number one overall. That's why it's nice to get an unbiased pick. Yeah. I mean, I'll tell you this. I love Mexican beers.
Starting point is 01:31:01 And I think a Manhattan is a fantastic cocktail. The thing with your IPA list, you had my favorite value pick, because an old-fashioned to me is an absolute first-rounder, and you got that five. Wow. See, he's the guy in the room making deals. He's an old-fashioned drinker. That's huge.
Starting point is 01:31:17 I love you. And Mike's a bourbon guy. He likes the bourbons, the whiskeys. Thank you. Mike, thank you. Mike, thank you. Honest judging. Even fifth, fourth place. Congrats. Thank you. Mike, thank you. Mike, thank you. Honest judging.
Starting point is 01:31:25 Even fifth, fourth place. Congrats. Thank you. Elite. These are elite list makers. Elite. Well done. Thank you. Thanks, man.
Starting point is 01:31:31 See you, fellas. Late. Wow. That was intense. I was nervous, dude. Man. Aaron, great move by Aaron, dude, to bring in Mike. Yeah, I was vamping for a while there.
Starting point is 01:31:44 That was smart. That was smart. To start stalling. That was smart. When did you know you were going to do that? Oh, as soon as we finished the last pick, I texted him the list and said, come judge it. Smart. You're being. Oh, I want to give a shout out.
Starting point is 01:31:57 Oh, yeah, JT right now can't stop smiling. Yeah, dude, I mean, I came, you know. You came, yeah. Yeah. Dude, Mojito's was nice. Left for dead. Then he comes back to win it. So the Jags gear is. You came, yeah. Yeah. Dude, Mojitos was nice. Left 4 Dead. Then he comes back to win it. So the Jags gear is from Nick Williams, not Nick Phillips.
Starting point is 01:32:09 Thank you, Coach Williams. Yeah. Nick Williams, you're a legend. Thank you. His gear is so sick. Go Jags. Next time, send me one with some Steelers shit on it, though. I'm just joking, man.
Starting point is 01:32:19 I love this. I really appreciate it. It is awesome. I'm going to wear the shit out of this hat. It's so sick. I want to exercise so bad right now. Yeah. Well, you look athletic.
Starting point is 01:32:28 I have an idea for when we can booze. Maybe like December NFL game. Jags game. Oh, I would love that. I'm down, dude. I would love that. Are the Jags playing the Steelers at some point? Did that already happen?
Starting point is 01:32:44 I think they did play. Yeah, Steelers and Jags did play already. Oh, yeah, Jags won. They did play already. That's right. They played. It was when we played each other in fantasy and you guys pounced me.
Starting point is 01:32:54 Yeah, feels like a long time ago. It does, I know. Oh, he gets the beer, too. There you go. That's hilarious. It's an IPA. Oh, let's go. That's a good label they've got. That's hilarious. It's an IPA. Oh, let's go. That's a good label they've got.
Starting point is 01:33:08 Yeah. That's good. That's the face you make when you drink an IPA. All right, you guys want to answer some cues? Yes. Trader Ho's. What's up, fellas? Long-time listener, first-time writer.
Starting point is 01:33:21 I saw my ex-girlfriend at Trader Joe's last night by the organic Honeycrisp apples. Now, normally this would be a non-issueue but i made the mistake last week of sending her a you up text in the late hours of the night after a few too many loggers with the boys not sure if she saw me or what but i didn't make an effort to supper rather i cruised far away and brought and bought two packs of honeydew and got the hell out of there i hate honeydew panic buy context we dated in college and then she dumped me to focus on work and life in the city about a year and a half ago. Question.
Starting point is 01:33:50 Why was I so rattled? I thought I was over her, but maybe not. Or am I overthinking these natural feelings of remorse and now I'm stuck with two pounds of honeydew? Would love some input from you dudes. Love, Frank. Dude, Frank, thank you for writing. I thought it was his girl i'm like you can say
Starting point is 01:34:05 hi to your girl it's his ex ex-girlfriend she broke up with him uh yeah i mean i think i think regardless of whether you're over it or not i think you're always gonna have like a little jolt seeing an ex-lover in the wild yeah if you haven't seen them for a while i think so i think so for sure you always be it'll be always be like a little bit like oh shit i think it always causes you to reflect too on like how you've done since you guys broke up like right is my life in good standing it's kind of like new year's eve yeah it's also a tough breakup when someone's like i'm breaking you up to go live my life like it's hard i'm sorry frank but it's like i need to focus on life in the city and work it's like she's like i'm just gonna have you not in my life anymore.
Starting point is 01:34:45 It's basically what that means. That is how I read it. And that's a tough-ass breakup. And, you know, the honeydew melon does suck. So sorry you did that. And the you up text. I think that's the big thing here. He felt embarrassed by the you up text.
Starting point is 01:34:59 Just try not to do it or, you know, if you need to, just block the number or something. I don't know. Delete or contact info. Optimistically, too, this could be the first time in this dude's life he's ever felt that way like he seems like a pretty happy-go-lucky ready to go kind of guy yeah and maybe he's just never felt a pang of uncertainty yeah so yeah you're fine man just keep cruising you'll be all right there's a lid for every pot dude yeah all right what's up dudes what is the fucking deal with these over the pants hand jobs why is everyone doing this people are coming in their
Starting point is 01:35:29 pants in public these are adults in their 30s coming in their pants why why not go home and whip it out i don't know man i just thought i'd ask you i think this guy's so off base dude i think we should have more over the pants hand jobs in public. And I don't know what he's talking about. Yeah. It's risque. Dry hump is like the hardest you'll ever nut. Yeah. Because it's what's, there's somewhere to go that you're not getting.
Starting point is 01:35:54 Right. That's so true. Where it's like that, this is awesome to me. If we could just, oh, and then that's, there's nowhere to go once you're
Starting point is 01:36:02 doing the thing fully. If you're at Thanksgiving dinner with your girlfriend's family, she gives you're doing the thing fully if you're at Thanksgiving dinner with your girlfriend's family she gives you an OTPHJ you skeet right in front of her dad is there any better skeet he asks you your opinion on something all he can go is mmm
Starting point is 01:36:17 I used to have boys who did sneaky ones in the backseat of their parents cars when they were getting driven home how much do you want to bet the parents? Cheeky lads. Oh, Jesus, dude. In the movie mirror, like, should I make this merge? Oh, Jesus. Then you look back three minutes later, they're just passed out.
Starting point is 01:36:36 Just a big stain. He sent a follow-up. He said, if America wants to win the Cold War, we have to suck cock naked. I mean, agreed. agreed yeah but it's what's that got to do with over the pants hand jobs especially let's say you're like going off to battle and you're on the train
Starting point is 01:36:51 with your lady you know you gotta get an OTPHJ right before you depart yeah it's considerate yeah I like OTPHJs those are our questions keep them coming guys alright let's keep moving. Chad, who's your beef of the week?
Starting point is 01:37:08 Well, you know, my beef of the week, it's not really, I don't have a beef with it, but it's like a beef that occurred, if this makes sense. Yeah. It's Adam Driver's response to criticism to the Ferrari movie. Have you guys seen this? No. Dude, you're speaking my language.
Starting point is 01:37:23 Actually, this is pro-Adam Driver Dude, you're speaking my language. Actually, this is pro Adam Driver. You're not speaking my language. So. What do you think about crash scenes? That they looked pretty harsh, drastic, and I must say, cheesy for me. What do you think? Fuck you. I don't know.
Starting point is 01:37:48 So a guy comes out with criticism for the ferrari movie he's like what do you think about the crash scenes for me they were cheesy drastic harsh and he goes fuck you i don't know i thought it was a fantastic response it's perfect it's such a weird like a question it's so insulting because it's like i didn't like this yeah it's like okay well i did it's also not what he does it's not his acting it's a guy I didn't like this. Yeah. It's like, okay, well, I did. It's also not what he does. It's not his acting. It's a guy who does that, like a cinematographer and a CGI guy. Right, exactly. It's like, go talk to Derek. He's the guy who does that.
Starting point is 01:38:12 Yeah, yeah. It's just so rude and just, yeah. And I love that response. Well, fuck you. How about that? Yeah. Yeah. It's nice.
Starting point is 01:38:20 The guy just sits down. I loved it, dude. Fair and balanced. Yeah. I thought it was fantastic. I'm a driver guy now. Yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah, sits down. I loved it, dude. Fair and balanced. Yeah. I thought it was fantastic. I'm a driver guy now. Yeah, right? Yeah, I'm changing my whole tune, dude.
Starting point is 01:38:29 I'm fired up on them now, dude. I'll switch my opinion like that, dude. You better look out. Dude, yeah. Strider? My beef of the week is with, because we've been traveling a lot, when you get off a plane,
Starting point is 01:38:42 you've got to wait. The plane unloads traditionally Unless you're at like a small airport From the front to the back These people that as soon as the seatbelt sign goes up Just start running up the aisle For their thing I'm like dude fuck these people
Starting point is 01:38:56 I don't like that dude you gotta wait your turn to get out Unless you gotta lay over If you got a quick thing You got a quick connection you gotta make I understand but there's no fucking way all these people do But then you gotta say it You gotta go hey I've got a layover unless you got a quick if you got a quick thing you got a quick connection you got to make i understand but there's no fucking way all these people do but then you got to say it you got to go hey i've got a layover you don't just sit there and go what so you'd be like my flight's boarding people need to go right now like that i'll move out of the way yeah no problem it's being in line dude it's the worst bro so people that don't understand that don't apply to these
Starting point is 01:39:20 social etiquettes that exist it's ridiculous dude it dude. It's like the people who, like, speed when they speed past you or they're on your ass and they go around you. Then you get to the red light and you pull up right next to them. Yeah, exactly. It's like, you're not, are you going to get there faster? Maybe a little bit faster, but we all get there at the same time.
Starting point is 01:39:40 100%, dude. Chris, who's your beef of the week? Oh, dude, it's with our low points for the last two weeks in fantasy man and the fact that it makes me depressed and then I
Starting point is 01:39:50 like two Sundays you know instead of doing things that I wanted to do I was so sad about our team sucking so bad that I just had to take
Starting point is 01:39:58 a little nap you know it's like man I had things I wanted to do today and it's like I can't do anything because I'm sad
Starting point is 01:40:04 and alright I guess I'm just to take a nap and try and forget about it. And then I wake up, first thing I think about is, oh, does your team still suck? Yeah. It's crazy how much we care. Yeah. I care so much I have to turn it off and shut it down, because I'll just burrow into it. I didn't get a second wind on my Sunday until like 9 o'clock last night, where I was like,
Starting point is 01:40:21 okay, I need to clean up, I'm going to do a couple things, make game game try and snap out of this a little bit and then i'm gonna watch the killer which i did so like i turned it around but it took me like six hours yeah the killer's sick i'm halfway through i'm loving it oh yeah i'm halfway through too i enjoyed uh my beef of the week is travel related as well i'm going with the JetBlue terminal at JFK. We were coming home. I was a little late coming downstairs. I was hungover. And what's up?
Starting point is 01:40:52 We got there 90 minutes before the flight, though. We get into the security line. I'm feeling confident. One by one, the lines start shutting down. Like, whatever the little machine is that they use, they were just breaking down. So at a certain point, everyone's looking around. We're like, no, we're not nervous yet. Then another one goes down.
Starting point is 01:41:09 You're like, okay, I'm starting to get nervous. Then it goes down to one. And I'm like 80 people back in the line. You could feel society breaking down in a moment. People start turning around. People are like, I'm not going to make my flight. Whispers, murmurs. The people working there start getting upset.
Starting point is 01:41:22 They're like, get in line. They're pushing us around. They're like, you should be getting here two three hours before your flight everyone's like the hell are you even talking about it's so normal we're domestic yeah exactly and they're just and people people are starting to get teary-eyed and stuff strider his tsa pre-checked into work he's like three rows back he's giving me a face like i ain't making it i'm like i don't know like we gotta i don't know what's gonna happen uh jake's with us jake's like a young ain't making it. I'm like, I don't know. Like, I don't know what's going to happen. Jake's with us. Jake's like a young whippersnapper.
Starting point is 01:41:46 He's like, you're an idiot. I'm like, I know, I know. We're all like just in there. It's not working. Finally, it just, it turns into chaos. I'm like, Strider, you got to cut. He comes up, cuts with me. The people around were really nice.
Starting point is 01:41:59 Then a lady started crying. She's like, what about me? I'm like, well, what's your ticket? She's like, earlier. I'm like, go, go, go. But then this Russian lady comes up behind. She's's like you have to let me go and she shows me her ticket i'm like 310 i'm leaving at 310 i'm like you're the same as me i'm like you're not cutting me yeah but i'm gonna miss my flight i was like we're the same yeah we're the same and
Starting point is 01:42:17 it was just like we're all yelling each other going crazy but we made it but come on jfk you gotta have more than one functioning line. You're a major international terminal or a major domestic terminal. We need you to be better than that. So true. You just want consistency so you can plan. You know what I mean? Like, if you have a slow security line, I'm going to know that.
Starting point is 01:42:37 I'll make moves. But you can't switch it up halfway through because then it's like nobody could plan for that. You just can't. Just be consistent. You know what it is? is the bins why are we putting shit in bins the one two three four it's not faster it's not faster getting in the and then one person goes and it's not faster it's always worse just ever have everyone go up wanted to put your shit on the thing we should invent that where it's just a scanner that you can walk through yeah with all your shit like we should be the thing that goes like this we should go on the thing. We should invent that where it's just a scanner that you can walk through with all your shit. Like, we should be the thing that goes like this.
Starting point is 01:43:08 We should go on the track and it should just scan everything we have simultaneously. Correct. Like in Total Recall. Total Recall. Right, so you don't have to separate from your bags. That cuts out a lot of time. The shoe's coming off. I can't believe we're still taking off shoes.
Starting point is 01:43:21 It's an unsuccessful attempt by a guy. I'm pre-checked, so I don't have to do most of this. I'm pre-checked, yeah. I'm pre-checked, so I don't have to do most of this. I'm pre-checked, yeah. I'm pre-checked too, and I didn't fucking go. Dude, the computer, the shoes. I'm pre-checked too, but I don't have to do that.
Starting point is 01:43:30 But the computer, the shoes, a water bottle. Why doesn't my toothpaste is gone? Why doesn't the same belt go off at different airports? Like most airports it doesn't, and then every once in a while it does. Yeah, I don't know.
Starting point is 01:43:42 Also, they're not uniform in the rules. Yeah. So, like, even for pre-check, the rules can be different at different airports. Like, you guys, just, like, be consistent. Have one rule for every airport. Yes. It's a federal agency, TSA.
Starting point is 01:43:57 Yeah. Yeah, it's ridiculous. Dude, when your bag goes in bag check and they just don't even pay attention to it, they're just looking around. And you're like, my bag's right there. Check it. Yeah, dude. And you're just... It's the worst. Thanksgiving's
Starting point is 01:44:12 coming up too. Gonna be terrible travel days. Not going anywhere. I am. I'm fucked. You going to Chicago? Yeah. Yeah, you're fucked, bro. Have fun at O'Hare. Great airport. Yeah, love that. Go on Midway, baby. Oh, Midway? O'Hare can lick my balls. Chad, I love that. Go on Midway, baby. Oh, Midway? Dude, that is nice. Oh, here come my balls.
Starting point is 01:44:26 Yeah. Oh, here it does suck. Chad, who's your babe? My babe is a veteran. Nice. Dude, I watched Saving Private Ryan three times in the past week. I love that you did that. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:44:38 I watched it on Delta on the way to New York. I watched it on my birthday with my girlfriend. And then I watched it on my birthday with my girlfriend and then I watched it on the way back. And then I started watching all these veteran videos on these interviews on YouTube, like guys who were at D-Day, Vietnam Vets.
Starting point is 01:44:55 It's amazing. I mean, just when they tell their stories, it's tough to even imagine what they went through. Stokers, I encourage you to check out those interviews. It just fills you with so much gratitude for the sacrifice they put forward and just how brave they all were. It's crazy.
Starting point is 01:45:18 I don't even think it's imaginable for guys like, I don't know, just going over there on the beach in normandy yeah it's insane no cover truly insane yeah it's uh it's crazy so yeah i just want to give a shout out to veterans thank you for your service and uh yeah love that dude couldn't imagine it then can't imagine it now yeah no uh my baby of the week got to be my dank ass wife dude. She passed a legal and ethics test that she'd been studying really hard for for her
Starting point is 01:45:48 work so she nailed it passed it in one try. So fired up on that. We went out to a nice Italian dinner afterwards to celebrate. Had a nice piece of tiramisu and it was a
Starting point is 01:45:56 very lovely little evening. Oh. Yeah. I love tiramisu. Lovely little evening. That could have been a bend. Oh yeah it's got a
Starting point is 01:46:03 little bit of rum in there. It's got rum in there. You're right. Oh wow. Is it French or Italian tiramisu? Italian. It's Italian, yeah. Stank.
Starting point is 01:46:12 Dude, my babe of the week is, wait, what about Chris? Amna Mahoum Al Jadah. I was reading about Qatar, because they made a because their investment group made a 5% buy in a WNBA team. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. I was like, do they even let gals play sports in Qatar?
Starting point is 01:46:34 So I did a quick Wikipedia dive on their gender politics and how far they've come. And this gal that I just mentioned, Amna, in like 1970, she was like, hey, I'm going to start a school for gals. And they're like, no, we don't want gals reading and writing. And then she's like, I'm just going to do it anyways. Pretty, she was like, hey, I'm going to start a school for gals. And they're like, no, we don't want gals reading and writing. And then she's like,
Starting point is 01:46:47 I'm just going to do it anyways. Pretty soon she had like 100 students. She was doing great. The government came around and was like, you know what? Let's make it an official school. Fuck yeah. Nice, dude.
Starting point is 01:46:54 And I was actually pretty impressed with, Qatar is not as gnarly as I thought it was when it comes to the guy and gal separation. I mean, you know, they have their different customs and it's not awesome, but it's a little bit more than I thought,
Starting point is 01:47:07 for sure. They had four people go to the Olympics in 2012. That's awesome. Fuck yeah. Chris has a... My babe is my wife, dude.
Starting point is 01:47:17 She's about to pop. Dude, let's go. Oh, dude. Congrats. Hopefully within the next week, probably... Wow, that came fast Dude that's awesome
Starting point is 01:47:26 Not for her man It's been a slow grind She feels like shit So yeah Love you babe You're doing great And we're both just Super pumped
Starting point is 01:47:35 For her not to be pregnant anymore And just have the baby So Fuck yes She's been a rock Girl Congrats Thank you man
Starting point is 01:47:44 Let's go dude That's awesome Do you have a name picked out? I don't know We felt confident about it Steve, you've been a rock. You have sex yet? Girl. Congrats. Thank you, man. Let's go, dude. That's awesome. Do you have a name picked out? I don't know. We felt confident about it. Sorry again, cold feet. We'll see.
Starting point is 01:47:51 I don't know. You'll know when you see her. Hopefully. I feel like we're going to be wracked with a decision when we see her. But, you know, it'll be fun. Elon and Grimes wait like six months before they decide on like Iota. Yeah. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:48:04 I think I could beat that in half the time elon grimes iota elon uh my legend is uh it's bourbon street new orleans i mean if you want a booze if you want a booze hard if you want the worst hangover of your life But the best time of your life before Go to Bourbon Street, New Orleans Get a Hurricane Get a hand grenade Get a huge ass beer Get some purple drink And have fun
Starting point is 01:48:35 In Bourbon Street I love it Fuck yeah I love it I didn't realize about these drinks I was just A month ago I was in New Orleans
Starting point is 01:48:43 And I didn't get any of those drinks You didn't? What's a Hurricane? I didn't know We went It drinks. Oh you didn't? What's a hurricane? I didn't know. We went, it's a bunch of shit. Oh you guys already talked about it. Yeah, and he talked about it and then he looked up hand grenades too and it's another one that's like just a bunch of shit.
Starting point is 01:48:55 Yeah. But New Orleans also has like drive-thru daiquiris so you can just. What? You go up to the drive-thru and you get daiquiris. Like an alcoholic beverage? Yeah. While I'm driving? You can have an open container In your car
Starting point is 01:49:07 Oh my gosh Yeah You can just drink a drive there Basically That's insane You can have an open container Don't do that shit Yeah exactly
Starting point is 01:49:14 No But that's That's crazy That's an option Stratathon So this is Legend of the Week My Legend of the Week
Starting point is 01:49:22 Is going to be Masters of the Sky Dude How horny are you For this chat Have you seen this? Uh oh Bro so this is legend of the week my legend of the week's gonna be uh masters of the sky dude how horny are you for this chat have you seen this bro it's from the same producers of banded brothers and oh yeah starring austin butler who is hot who me and my dank wife saw while walking our dog on our street no way we saw him just hanging out being hot what was he like he was so cool he was just like in a cool ass bomber jacket like straight out of a movie and dude i had never seen like dude my wife's a cool
Starting point is 01:49:50 customer she goes i go handsome she goes very handsome but very handsome i go okay take it easy so he's just wearing his outfit from the show bro exactly yes he is just care about hollywood you're just being elvis yeah exactly no i'm just trying to be low-key not getting noticed just wearing all my wardrobe out boots jeans bomber jacket i was like this guy's from the 60s dude this guy's so cool uh but i can't wait that's about like the uh you know the um flying fortress is like b-17 cruise and stuff that's so pretty sick cool yeah chris he's your legend uh planet earth three dude and just the planet earth is it out now planet three is out on netflix no it's just on bbc america okay um i watched the first episode it's so fucking they just have it nailed like they're they're so good at what they
Starting point is 01:50:41 do it's like it's like it can depressing. It can be super uplifting. They show you gnarly, like a graveyard of giant turtles. And then you're like, is this one going to make it? I won't spoil it, but it's gnarly. And it's just so many different things. Also, animals getting away. Lions fucking taking birds out of the sky to eat. There's just so much sick shit.
Starting point is 01:51:04 And every time you're like, is this real? It's kind of like animal hard knocks yeah except yeah for sure um and yeah there's just so many there's just so much death but also life there's great action scenes you know you see the seals dodging great whites it's fucking cool man is that is it planet earth the famous clip that marshall lynch voiced over with the lizards running from the snakes in the snake pit yeah that was from that was from the second season the best fucking thing it's so dude that scene and it's like it's like an unbelievable action sequence yeah it's unreal things getting like hit and spinning around do they in this one they have fish where they're trying to get bugs so they put a little water in their mouth and then they put
Starting point is 01:51:42 their lips up to the edge. Spit and shoot. They're called archer fish. Shoot bugs off of leaves and then swim and grab them when they hit the water. That's awesome. Fucking rule, dude. I'm so tight. Dude, I love Earth. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:51:56 Dude, good call. Dude, my legend of the week is Jerry Prohoshka. He did something I've never seen a UFC fighter do. He was fighting for the 205 title against this other they're both very scary looking human beings this guy alex perera who's just an insane monster and they were just standing up and banging jerry prahashka is this czech republic fighter who lives the samurai life he's got a top knot and he's like in the woods all the time shirtless in the snow and um he got caught with the left hook he kind of went down then he was wrestling per hair a little bit per elbow He kind of went down. Then he was wrestling Perhera a little bit.
Starting point is 01:52:25 Perhera elbowed him. He went down again. And then the ref called it. But I was screaming. I was like, he's okay. They should have let the fight keep going. And everyone on Twitter was like, they should have let the fight keep going. He wasn't all the way out.
Starting point is 01:52:38 Jury gets to the post-fight interview and goes, I was out. The ref made the right call. Legend, dude. And just took the loss straight on his chest. And like heavy duty. He was like sad. He was like, no, it's the right call by ref. I fail. I come back.
Starting point is 01:52:50 This guy's a man. I've never seen a fighter do that. Every fighter, even if it's right or wrong, will be like, no, because they want that rematch. He didn't argue at all. That's awesome. What a legend, dude. Yeah. Fired me up.
Starting point is 01:52:59 All right. Should we end with a quote of the week? Yeah. What's it called when you get a round for the. Round for the boys or shots or. Round for the. I think a of the week? Yeah. What's it called when you get a round for the... Round for the boys or shots or... Round for the... I think a round, right? Yeah, it's like round on the...
Starting point is 01:53:09 Drinks on me? Yeah. Drinks on me. Oh, that's a good one. Drinks on me. Dude, that's a freaking good one, dude. Fuck, bro. Mine's going to be a quote from just Austin Butler.
Starting point is 01:53:23 Just, all right. Hey. Yeah, all right yeah all right yeah hey nice mine uh i'm reading the akatar book series it's a fantasy like basically romance novel novel series that my wife turned me on to very descriptive sex scenes that go for pages dude but big old fantasy world dude I'm just they like the like magical thing that like all life's bearing from us the cauldron did so I'm just gonna
Starting point is 01:53:53 go paraphrasing a little bit but oh how the cauldron eddies and swirls that's nice I feel like you could say that to a lot of things you know it makes sense yeah well cause it's kind of like fate or like anything or like happenstance, like things that, you know. Or when you're taking a shit.
Starting point is 01:54:08 Or you're just taking a dump, dude. You know, we're making pasta. Yeah, dude. Doggy style. Yeah. Just looking at that butt. I'll go with Kanye West. People will ask me when I say I am a God what I mean by that. No, people will ask me when I say I am a god
Starting point is 01:54:26 what I mean by that. No, people will ask me when I say I'm a god, who do I think I am? I just told you. That's good stuff. That was fun. Dude, what a good pod. Fun pod, dude.
Starting point is 01:54:44 It had all the elements. What a good pot fun pot dude, but all the elements And downs good shit What to do and where to go When you need someone to guide you Such that happy birds beside you Go and see Go and see Let's go see Go and see Cat and game
Starting point is 01:55:25 Deep

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