Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 322- DRAFT: Top Celebrity Couples
Episode Date: December 23, 2023Today we are drafting Top Celeb Couples LIVE. Grab some NEW dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! DENVER, CO UP NEXT - TIX HERE:http://www.chadandjt.com Call us, leave a 6...0 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice.
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all right here we are what's up stokers of stoke nation this is jt parr waiting for chad kroger he
is en route there is traffic there is rain in la right now it is difficult to navigate
and today we are drafting we have my brother Chris Parr with us
What up?
The Stoke legend Strider Wilson
What up?
So we're going to wait to draft until the big
Oh, and Aaron Brungard on the sticks
What up?
Dudes, maybe before we get into the draft
I had a huge cue I wanted to throw at you guys
What up?
Woody Harrelson or Bruce Willis
Whoa Whoa to throw at you guys what up woody harrelson or bruce willis whoa whoa that's that's hard but
fuck i think i gotta go i know who i'm going i think i gotta go woody
well i'm going bruce oh Aaron, you want to break the tie?
What's our criteria here?
I mean, actually, you just got to choose.
It's impossible question.
I love Woody.
Listen to your heart.
I love Woody.
I love Woody.
I also do love Woody.
Is it because Woody's had a stronger like career throughout where Bruce kind kind of had higher highs but not the sustained
parts that woody had yeah and also variety of role that that was part of it for me and then
the variety of roles that woody and like different kinds of movies that he was in not that bruce
willis wasn't in a mixture of movies but like what he's just pretty it spans the gamut but you went
bruce just did i know i went bruce because i thought about because you kind of nailed it i
thought about his bangers literally i go I go, I thought about Die Hard.
And I was like, bro, that's so sick.
But Woody has so many sick roles too.
But I was like,
I just love watching a good old-fashioned action movie.
I find myself going back
and watching Fifth Element all the time.
Yeah.
Come on, Dallas, come on.
Bruce Willis was,
when Fifth Element came out,
Bruce Willis was my favorite actor
for a couple of years after that
because of that movie.
He's so good. He's so good. It's so fun of years after that because of that movie. He's so good.
He's so good.
It's so fun.
He's in Pulp Fiction.
He's so good.
Last Boy Scout.
What do you do?
Last Boy Scout.
I think I'd go Woody Harrelson.
Even though I love Bruce.
What are his biggest or best roles that you love the most?
Probably like True Detective.
Kingpin.
Kingpin is so good.
White Men Can't Jump.
People vs. Larry Flint.
Oh, really great Flint Friends with Benefits
Of course his television role
His television career, Cheers
Zombieland
He's really good at Zombieland
War for the Planet of the Apes
He's in the Planet of the Apes one, that was good
He's just
He's got great energy
He adds to everything And he just pops up in a lot
where you're like oh hell yeah what he's here yep what's that hbo show that they did that was kind
of a swing and a miss though like where they're like white house aides or something like that or
like oh the one with john goodman i don't think that was for hbo but i know it's yeah what was
that oh no you're talking a different thing it It's White House Plumbers. Oh, the Justin Theroux one. Showtime.
It's good.
Showtime?
Okay.
It's good.
You watched it? Didn't hear anything about it.
Yeah, I watched it.
It's good.
Apparently, did not get along with the director, though, so that's not cool.
Next cube.
I love this.
Strider.
How does it feel?
To be back in the fantasy relevancy?
Yeah, to still be in the mix in fantasy.
Feels nice. I have to tell you, to still be in the mix in fantasy. Feels nice.
I have to tell you, surprised.
I'm coming into it humble.
Don't get me wrong on our thread.
I'm going to talk S.
I'm going to come at the boys.
JT, you said it best.
Our league's a knife fight in the mud.
If you sink your blade in, dig it deep, twist it.
So that's what I have to do on there.
But I'll tell you, the team I drafted in the beginning,
I go, this team,
it might not be built to win,
but it's built not to lose.
I built a team to not get last place.
Hey, there he is.
Baby, what's going on?
So happy to be in relevancy.
Happy to have a shot.
Who made these?
Oh, Becca did.
Wow, dude, thank you.
Yeah, enjoy.
Dude, a scratcher?
That's not me.
Mary Chisman, dude. Don't get addicted, dude. Thank you. Yeah. Enjoy, dude. Dude, a scratcher? That's not me. Mary Chisman, dude.
Don't get addicted, dude.
Dude.
I know you love action, dude.
Thank you.
Also, I've got input.
I'm going Bruce.
Oh, you were listening, dude.
Let's go.
You go Bruce over Woody?
Oh, yeah.
Big time.
My God.
I like Strider's argument.
It's those, his peak moments, you can't beat him.
And no one gets me more fired up than Bruce in Fifth Element,
Armageddon.
Oh,
Armageddon,
Harry Stamper.
He's Harry Stamper.
He's Harry Stamper.
Die hard with a vengeance,
too.
Bruce in Ocean's Twelve.
And then Sam Jackson.
So good.
A lot of fun.
Bruce in Ocean's Twelve is one of my favorite cameos.
All right,
should we get into the draft?
Let's fucking go.
We got a humdinger today.
It's Chad's call.
We're doing celebrity couples.
Oh, baby.
And as always, we have not discussed the criteria.
We don't know how people are deciding on who they're deciding on.
We only know the broad subject, celebrity couples.
All right, should we get into the odds or evens of it?
Pick it.
One, two, three, shoot. Oh, it. One, two, three, shoot.
Oh, God. One, two, three, shoot.
Fuck it.
That's what I needed. I needed to not get last in this.
Oh, I needed a top three pick.
Alright, one, two, three, shoot.
Wait, that was late.
One, two, three, shoot.
Ah!
Ah!
Oh, man. Paper it up. One, two, three, shoot Ah Ah Oh man, this is Okay
Paper it up
Paper, scissors, shoot
Oh
Chris Nasty, baby
Get crazy
I know who you're going with
Bang
Okay
I wanted the first pick so bad
I wanted it so bad
All right, I'm going Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie
Okay, okay, okay
Would not have even I wouldn't have done I don't know if I would have done it Yeah Chris, I'm going Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie. Okay, okay, okay. Would not have even been my list.
I wouldn't have done it.
I don't know if I would have done it.
Yeah.
Chris, I don't know.
What?
Well, you explain why first.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
They met on a movie where they act all sexy and fight each other a lot.
Brad and Jennifer Aniston could be on this list, but he left her to be with Angelina Jolie.
Classic.
They were like two of the biggest movie stars on the planet at the time and like no one is more famous than brad
pitt except angelina jolie was like close i mean like there are pictures of them like on scooters
and like a on like vacation in like a third world country and you see them on mopeds and there's
literally like 300 people just following really like Really? Like, he adopted her kids.
Yep.
And then now they're beefing.
Obviously, they're not together anymore.
Which I think is fine for this.
Dude, she sold a steak in their winery
to a Russian oligarch.
You gotta love that.
You've gotta love that.
And he's like, what are you doing, dude?
I never agreed to this.
She's like, tough shit.
I mean, they're both so hot.
I'm surprised you guys had a muted response.
Well, because I don't think they really made us.
I think a great celebrity couple, you kind of like want them to be together.
Like you're rooting for them.
And I don't think people really like Angelina Jolie.
I think people liked Jennifer Aniston, but especially women.
I don't think women like Angelina.
They don't like her also.
But I think dudes were cheering for her.
The stuff was a little hairy with, you know,
there was some stuff going on there.
The inception of it wasn't romantic.
It was treacherous.
Yeah, it was scandalous.
True, which is what you're going with.
I see what you're going with there.
But I like Brad.
Oh, you guys only like true love stories.
Yeah, I like Brad and Jen more.
I think that's the thing.
I think that people like that one think Is that your pick right now
No no no
Don't
What
Yeah
I try to lock you in
Don't worry
I'm playing defense baby
Don't worry
I like Brad and Jen more
I do not like Angelina
I think she's
There's something off
She's got succubus vibes
Yeah
And look she's a great actress
I love watching her and stuff
And she's hotter than hell
But I think
Mr. and Mrs. Smith alone My mom hated her Yeah My mom was like she's a bitch yeah and she's like all she does is adopt
children yeah so annoying but mr and mrs smith hot as hell when they when they fight them bone
i mean i mean it's a dream watching the movie and trying to wonder at what point during the movie
did they start having an affair is very exciting.
Yeah.
Trying to watch it without getting a boner.
Very exciting.
You guys wrecked my whole world with that.
Chris, we're sorry. No, it's okay.
I disagree on taking Aniston over.
No, no, I don't take Aniston.
I also don't do that.
I agree with that.
I also don't take Aniston.
That's why I try to lock you in on it.
That's why I try to lock you in. Yeah. That's why I try to lock you in.
Yeah, you freaking doubt.
Okay, number two.
I'm so psyched to pick this one.
I think they're the top couple of all time.
Two powerhouses just dominating the music industry.
And when they got together, dude,
I was crazy in love with them, Beyonce and Jay-Z.
Smart, bro.
That's the pick.
Dude, I mean, they both dominate.
Smart.
They're both talented.
They're both talented performers.
They're billionaires.
Blue Ivy, what up?
Smart, dude.
They're very mysterious about their love.
Like, they didn't reveal they're in a relationship for, like,
10 years or something.
Cute.
I don't know.
Like, you know, aside from political couples,
like, is there any...
They have so much power and so much love.
He did cheat on her.
That's one thing.
But they came back together.
She made a fire.
They fought through it.
That's what you need in a celebrity couple.
You gotta have a little, you know, infidelity.
He's big pimp and he's gonna bone.
Exactly.
He's got 99 problems, but the chain won. In terms of amassed wealth,
I think they're right at the top.
But I will say, I was talking to my
Pilates instructor, Megan, about this
and I brought them up and she said,
and I said, why?
And she said, Jay-Z's not
that hot. That is one thing.
Wow.
That is a good point.
Does a couple excite the female pop?
Ah.
You know.
I think Beyonce would take care of that.
That's true.
Like all on her own.
Yeah.
But.
But yeah.
Jay-Z.
I think it's a good move.
I think you got to defend Jay-Z and say that he's hot.
I know.
But the thing is, I agree he's not hot. Or when I first got together, I was like. Come on, do it, dude you got to defend Jay-Z and say that he's hot. I know, but the thing is, I agree he's not hot.
When I first got together, I was like,
did you say Jay's hot?
You know what, dude?
The thing is, Jay-Z is hot.
He's so hot.
I would bone Jay-Z.
I would definitely have sex with him.
That's true.
He has incredible charisma, and he's a great talker.
When I hear him in interviews, I'm like, he's really insightful.
I would rock that fella. I think you're just bringing the heat with that dude that's a great pick thanks you've opened some doors here i thought i was gonna you know
go with i got a decision to make here and i think what i'm gonna go with
is harry and megan damn it wanted them. That's a great pick.
Why?
I think I gotta go Harry and Meghan.
What do you mean, what?
It's the royal fucking family.
In terms of...
Dude, it's Meghan Markle.
She's an actress.
There's a book about them.
There's a reality TV show about them.
Yeah, it's called...
They're in Hollywood.
Oh my God.
They're annoying.
Of course they're annoying.
Put up a picture of Harry's book, Spare,
and that immediately makes it on the Do Not Draft list.
Oh, for sure.
Are you kidding me?
We're not talking about likability here.
This isn't likability.
You're talking about global fascination.
We were talking about likability with Brad and Angelina.
Yeah.
No, no, because—
That was a knock.
I don't know if women like—
But that's what I mean.
They're both unlikable, but at least with this one, the metric of global fascination,
no one can beat Harry and and megan the world was
obsessed their wedding was probably like the most watched event of the year it's the royal crown
it is the in america becoming a princess exactly american because of print is a tabloid tabloid
wonder and that's kind of what i think of when i think when i think celebrity couple in my brain
i think i'm checking out at the supermarket and who's on the picture of that stupid fucking magazine right there and brad and angelina for 15 years yeah you know you got
that too but uh baby i gotta go with the royal couple also them leaving the crown leaving as
well the the drama behind it all it's huge yeah i liked some of the drama and then um like some of
it was like good beef and then a lot of
it was like shut up i think people are annoyed by harry but people do like megan there's dudes
that hate megan but there's a lot of ladies have her back i think they i think they burn white hot
at the beginning they're like wow this is like you know royal love it's it's beautiful um and then
once they started talking yes public everyone's like these both of
these people suck harry's a dumbass and megan is blows that's 100 oh dude a royal prince sucks
yeah uh yeah duh dude some dude who hangs out on boats half the year? Yeah, dude.
Shouldn't he be cool then?
I mean, I wish.
I would argue none of these couples are cool.
And the longer that they stay in the public zeitgeist, the more we have to tear apart.
So for me, it's just like how much did they matter to us and how much content have we pulled from them?
I mean, all of them have narcissistic detachments, okay?
Like, I think, I think, I think, I think,
I think Beyonce, I think, I think,
some of you guys are defending the celebrity couple
as an institution, it should be real.
I think Beyonce and Jay-Z are objectively cool.
But are they boring at this point?
Are some of these couples that have stayed together forever,
are they boring and that keeps them from being of these couples that have stayed together forever, are they boring?
And that keeps them from being top of the list
because they're just not a shooting rock.
But then Harry and Meghan are going to be boring in no time.
They're already boring.
They're boring now.
Royalty has sustainability.
So they were cool for like,
Beyonce and Jay-Z were cool for like years.
Harry and Meghan had what, six months?
Yeah.
A year?
But here's the thing.
It's salacious, baby. This is the royal year But here's the thing It's salacious baby This is the royal family
It's huge
It's massive
It's an institution
No matter who's in that
Institution
Maybe that's the thing too
The institution of what
What that couple is
It's been since
The middle ages
Like that's
It's huge
People who couldn't read
Serfs
Fucking were like
What's the royal family doing
Everyone knew
The world knew
they're the peak celebrities of the globe yes i think it's a brilliant pick i gotta i gotta say
and i hate when strider wins i really do but yours was my number one pick if i if i picked it before
i would have taken your pick i respect it uh and i i'm not trying to be a hater but i think i
fundamentally disagree with your guys's take on this. That's okay.
Look, I like...
Well, then you better have all...
Well said.
All your picks better have sustained love then, bro.
You better stick to your guns, dog.
Otherwise, I'm coming for you, dude.
I just think they both suck so hard.
They do suck.
Well, okay, by that metric,
this next couple sucks.
And they have let us in too much into their ups and downs. But it is a relationship that has sustained over 40 years.
And in terms of national fascination and in terms of how much entertainment we've been able to draw out of them,
I would put them maybe even above Meghan and Prince Harry.ry i'm going will and jada this is good this is good this is also my do not
draft list for being annoying there's so many acts to it like their initial romance was exciting like
when they did just the two of us we all believed in it alicia keys wrote a song about love and
will and jada were like the top of what you were aiming for and now we've seen it all come apart we've seen jada humiliate will on on the red table talking about
why she cheated on him then we saw will freak out on facebook streaming service she did that dude
it's a great jt this is a great pic when i was looking at lists of couples it said will jada
question mark but it was always but it was like always at the top but it was like do we do actually do this
I think
and then like dude
Will slapping Chris Rock
to defend her
and then she said
it wasn't really for her
and she felt bad for him
I mean
that's one of the biggest
moments in pop culture
history
for sure
at the Oscars
yes
and it's just crazy
Will is like the biggest
movie star in the world
she's not even close
to being as big of a star
but it's clear that
she has a lot of
power over him and that's just interesting to a star, but it's clear that she has a lot of power over him
and that's just interesting to watch.
It's like,
it's an old story.
It's like F. Scott Fitzgerald
and Zelda Fitzgerald,
you know,
to harken back
to an older celebrity duo.
And also,
you know,
to compliment your pick
is they've got celebrity kids
who are also kind of lame celebrities,
but even the family.
So it's like,
this is a nepotism thing here too,
which is big.
Even though we're talking about the couple,
but still it has to be mentioned.
What would I have to do to turn my boy into Jaden Smith?
Right, right.
What kind of parenting choices would I have to make
to facilitate that?
Dude, did I just see him in New Balance ad campaign?
Is he?
I think so.
You wear New Balance?
That's offbeat.
That is.
Remember he popped up at one award show
where he's like, it's me.
Ha ha ha.
And everyone's like, who?
Who the fuck is this guy?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think, well, the thing about Will and Jada is like, without Jada, would Will be the coolest
celebrity?
Yeah, bro.
I think he would be.
It's the only thing that, it's the only chick in his armor is Jada.
Yeah.
Because he was a box office wonder.
He started making bad choices because he started trying to push his kids in movies like After
Earth and all those and Gemini, whatever that was.
Yeah.
Gemini.
Yeah.
This like try not to die stuff.
But like until then, he was the best.
He had a 100% approval rating.
People might say he's corny, but everyone liked him.
Everyone liked him.
And he hit every demo.
Yeah.
Like white, black, young, old
everyone's like Will Smith's my buddy
cause he's funny, he's badass, he's just so charming
he's a good actor too
watch me tear that down
love that dude
I can't stop watching
I'm obsessed with it
his pull ups are out of this world
oh dude
going behind the neck
let's go I'm up on my next pick let's go out of this world. Oh, dude. Going behind the neck. Going behind the neck, yeah.
Let's go.
All right, wait.
I'm up on my next pick.
All right, let's go, man.
Let's go.
That was a salacious pick.
Salacious.
Well, look, most of the ones I'm going to pick,
they didn't work out.
Yeah, I think there's something about unrealized romance
that leaves more to the imagination.
If you're together forever,
it gets boring.
Even though it's sweet
and we all root for it,
we don't care. Yeah, I might take one late. If it was one that, it gets boring. Even though it's sweet and we all root for it, we don't care.
Yeah, I might take one late.
If it was one that worked out, we'd all pick one pick.
But this next couple is the best of both worlds.
Whoa.
I'm going Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.
That's a good point.
Dude, the back to back?
See, that's what I thought you were gonna go with first.
I thought, well, with the first pick,
I was between Beyonce, Jay-Z, this one, and then Brad Angelina.
You created the name.
Bennifer.
It was one of the first smashed together names.
And dude, Ben was on fire.
Ben was on fire.
J.Lo was on fire.
And then she was coming off.
P. Diddy.
And it was a huge swerve to Ben Affleck.
Although I think Ben Affleck actually has a lot in common with P. Diddy.
And then he was coming off like Gwyneth Paltrow or something like that and they didn't seem like
perfect for each other but that's what made it so perfect yeah and then they did the music video
where they're on the boat yeah and she's she's all lathered up and chill and then they made a
horrible movie together everyone rooted for them to fall apart ben started gambling and sleeping
with hookers like he does fucking taking down gore to 8 30 in the morning burned himself down
like the phoenix he is came back stronger won an oscar married a straight
down the middle wholesome woman blew that up and then went back to his queen jennifer just being a
dude just being a fucking guy and then jennifer lopez had been through like three marriages in
the in-between yeah you know empire strong mark anthony huge and now we get to watch ben
like look like he's upset,
but kind of that's where he belongs.
He's always on her arm
and he's always bedraggled
and you're like,
that's right for you.
He's the best, bro.
He needs to be a little miserable.
He loves that.
He loves that misery.
She's the right person for that.
She won't take it personal.
They create the best relationship moments.
Him getting out of the car pissed off.
The best, bro.
Putting her in the car, slamming the door.
Walking around.
Arguing at the Grammys.
It's amazing.
And then him speaking Spanish, too.
Yeah.
Where he's yelling at the paparazzi in Spanish.
Hey, hombre.
Bájale con vos.
Yeah.
What's funny, too, is that he hates fame.
He hates fame, but he married Jennifer Lopez. Everybody he dates is like Anna de Armas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's funny, too, is that he hates fame. He hates fame, but he married Jennifer Lopez.
Everybody he dates is like Anna de Armas.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jennifer Lopez.
You're like, dude, your buddy Matt Damon married a normal person.
He's skirted all of this attention.
I hate fame.
You can have it.
You can keep it.
I don't want it.
I'm going to marry Jennifer Lopez.
But yeah, it's perfect for Ben.
And to quote Frank Catch, he said,
the relationship is his phoenix tattoo come to life.
As you mentioned, the phoenix thing.
It burned bright, then it turned to ash,
and then rising out of the ashes again,
here we go, it's burning bright again.
And both my top fellas, they married strong women.
Yes.
These are some alpha females.
Yes.
That, you know, you're in the octagon and your take for
both of them is a is a woman just beating them down and you love that no no no only with will
and jada i think i think uh i think lopez is perfect for ben i don't think she beats him down
i think he just likes to feel bad when he's on the red carpet and if you're gonna do that it's fun to
do it with jennifer that's why he's good in that Anna de Armas movie where like she kind of like cucks him and stuff
yeah it's good man that movie not good dude the scene where she's playing the piano dude I got
so annoyed I was like get me out of here did the nudity good nudity yeah nudity's tight yeah I
remember I was watching I started watching The Crown speaking of which nice and interesting you
don't like that uh and dude I remember as a kid, how fired up would you get when it'd be like nudity?
When you saw the N there?
Yeah, yeah.
Before I learned what the word brief was watching The Fifth Element,
because it says brief nudity before I'm like, what does that mean?
It could be a man's ass, which is a bummer.
There's nothing brief about
there's like just before she gets the straps on her boobies
oh dude yeah that and in the very very end it must mean like
not a lot dude mila bitch yeah whatever happened to her all vowels in her name yeah mila jababa
she does a lot of movies with her husband so that's the guy who directed all the resident
evil movies they made like fucking nine of those she made a billion dollars doing that is in her name. Yeah, Mila Jababa. She does a lot of movies with her husband. The guy who directed all the Resident Evil movies.
They made like fucking
nine of those.
She made a billion dollars
doing that.
Dude, that's a good couple.
No one really knows.
Oh, yeah.
That's my number three.
That was my next pick, dude.
What the fuck, dude?
I picked Mila Jababa
and the director of Resident Evil.
All right.
Am I up next?
No.
Chad is.
Oh, I am?
Really?
Oh, no, no.
You are.
You are.
Yeah.
Chad is too.
Sorry.
Thank you.
Just have to check here.
Sorry.
Do I want to be a prisoner of the moment or do I go with more endearing love?
This is the question.
And to play defense on Chad because I want him to pick his list, I might go with more
endearing love here.
I'm going to go for longevity.
No, I kind of want this pick, but... It already sounds cute. I know. I'm going to go with Posharing love here i'm gonna go for longevity uh no i'm i kind of want this pick
but it already sounds cute i know i'm gonna go with posh and becks
that has everything yeah it does it's an athlete it's a superstar singer which could have been
another pick of mine wait who's the anglophile over here sorry sorry i know yeah you're right
oh yeah dude right well you were born in the u.s though right for sure maybe look this is more you sure about what's the biggest band in
the u.s the beatles we have an infatuation with the island we have an infatuation with the island
in this country we can't escape it even though we fought for liberty against it we're still
beholden to it we're marketed from it uh in any case all right it's fucking cute yeah i don't
know what i'm saying in any case spice girls let's go posh spice the documentary if you've seen it you're gonna love it no i think
that's a great time to pick them because they got a lot of juice right yeah totally that documentary
has got us all infatuated with that's what got me on it i watched it with my dank ass wife and so
when we were talking about the list my research for this list was a couple articles plus talking
with the wife and she goes yeah this one's up there for sure and i go all right sick um i think i were definitely stepped out of our top tier of
of picks at this point but um yeah gotta go posh and becks huge you know back david beckham hot
posh hot enduring love let's go ups and downs yeah and global dude i mean you're talking from uh london to
madrid to la it's like the their second date was where like copenhagen exactly yeah dude they've
been in every european city you never heard of it's f1 races and then dates for posh and becks
that's what happens there so yeah still together still got tight rigs and i wanted that on my list
and when they're hot still the durability of their love, you know,
they've been through it all.
And they've been through the entire country
hating them together.
Like all of England was like,
Beckham, you better fucking break up with Posh.
She's running into football, mate.
He's playing like piss on the pitch
because of that stupid fucking...
And then he was like, no.
And he never wavered.
I mean, he did cheat, but he never wavered I mean he did cheat but he never wavered
yeah
and
whoa whoa whoa
but he's gotta have that
he's in Spain
I wasn't shocked
when you're in Spain
what do you do
yeah exactly
whoa
no way
this dude with a neck tattoo
cheated on his wife
I think that's a good pick
good pick
I love that one I'm trying to decide between two
this is a tough one oh i can tell he's he's really it's we're burning through this it's
super fun yeah but you know we're going five yeah we're going five right
i gotta go with my instincts on this one my first instincts i'm going i'm i'm continuing
with my i'm on a power trend right now. I'm power, political power.
No, do it.
Your true love, your narrative true love.
Bill and Hillary?
Dude, that's, yeah, do it.
Do it, do it.
Do it.
No, no, no, no.
I'm doing Barack and Michelle.
Barack and Michelle?
They're just kind of boring, you know? Well, well also i don't know if i'd consider them it's a good pick they're a great couple and i'm always reading for them i don't think they are
oh you don't consider them celebrities i don't consider michelle she wasn't a celebrity prior
for me for it to be a celebrity couple right they got to be celebrities and then meet prior
to meeting up which megan made the cut
even though not everybody knew her she was a small little tv show yeah well i think it's a good pick
i think they're the leading political power couple alive today they're causing headlines they're
always doing they're making movies now they're uh everyone everyone just kind of looks at them
as they're As they're like
They're like the primo
Political couple so
Yeah but what's their
Body count at
What's that
What's their body count at
What's their body count at
Dude yeah
How many people
Have they killed
I mean they killed
That one guy
At Martha Vineyard
No we mean fucked
Yeah
Oh what's their body count at
No I'm saying
I'm saying killed
Yeah I just would have
Gone with the Clinton
Crime family
Over them
Big time But I've picked them In previous drafts I'm a fan They do, I just would have gone with the Clinton crime family. Over them. Big time.
But I've picked them in previous drafts.
I'm a fan.
They do have an enviable...
Like, when they give relationship advice, I do pay attention.
It's nice.
Like, Michelle would be like, do you like this person?
Look, they're going to bother you.
They're going to annoy you.
But do you believe in their values?
I'm like, yeah, she gets it.
All right.
She's fit, dude.
She's buff.
Yeah, she's got good arms.
I'm going with couples that you look to where you're like, that is what I want.
And you're going more
Afrocentric,
which I respect.
Yeah.
Oh, dude, I am.
Yeah.
Nice.
Nice.
And you don't even try them,
which is the best way
for Hollywood.
Yeah, I was even thinking about it.
Yeah, I don't think about that stuff,
but it just happens.
Yeah.
Chad's legit colorblind
and he doesn't see it.
It's respectful.
I'm going Kim and he doesn't see it. It's respectful. I'm going
Kim and Kanye.
Oh.
Wow.
Yes.
This is nice.
A couple now that's done.
Yeah, it's done.
I love it.
But they're still connected
because they have a family.
Of course.
So they still have to deal with each other.
So she always has to comment
if Kanye goes off the rails.
And Kanye was a psycho. And when they met up like that was like it was kanye was the biggest recording artist on the planet
at the time around that they did a lot to validate each other and it spoke well to their values it
was like kim wanted to be taken more seriously in like highbrow artistic circles and kanye just
wanted to be with like the ultimate
sex symbol yeah and it kind of minted the other one as that and like they're both billionaires
that's obviously you know like like i said they were you could maybe argue that kim's more at the
height of her powers now but like just in terms of like as like an icon like she was like it was in the peak of that kanye was on a heater they're both just fucking huge personalities yeah um it was great
seeing him on the kardashians every once in a while when i catch clips while becca was watching
dude seeing how his brain works i think i've already mentioned it here where she's like
kanye's love language is fashion. That's amazing.
Him planning a Christmas party, dude,
and he has so many ideas burning through his head.
The names of their kids, Northwest.
They use direction.
One negative.
Southwest.
Do we like to picture them boning?
I don't like to picture Kanye boning.
That's what I mean.
I don't think they bone.
That's what I mean. I don't think they boned. That's what I mean.
Yeah.
Kim, you don't have to work too hard to picture it.
When you say Brad and Angelina or Beckham and Posh or Michelle and Barack.
Dude, I picture them boning.
Yeah.
You know Barack's got a cig, dude, just on the frigging power bottom.
Just let's go, dude.
Well, what I do, dude i is i picture kanye getting
cucked watching kim that's what i'm enjoying it and like oh my god are you directing he's
directing exactly he's given all different instructions and the fucking set deck isn't
he probably would spend hundreds of thousands of dollars decorating the bedroom you know what i
mean to make it look how he because he has very particular you know he wants what he wants and
he knows he's got a messiah complex.
You know when he comes,
he goes like this.
Oh.
Oh.
And yeah,
they're just
two superstars
in their own right.
It's big.
I mean,
it's huge.
And then for the next one.
Man,
I really thought
I had something to go with Barack and Michelle,
but the audience thinks I suck.
You know, they're just political.
I think it may need a little more.
No, dude.
But they're awesome.
It's love.
There's something there.
I love that it's love.
People think she's a dude.
No, but if she had a music recording career first or something,
they didn't have celebrity profile. We only knew them as a couple. Yeah. dude no but if she had like a music recording career first or something right right she just
needs a little she they didn't have celebrity profile we only knew them as a couple yeah it's
true um oh man i don't know if this one has a staying power but it just has such an iconic
moment i think i gotta go with it don't you say say it. And I'm going Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes.
No.
Wait, who?
Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.
Dude, yeah.
You keep picking the right guy and the wrong gal.
No, because that one, like, name one incident from him and Nicole Kidman's relationship
that's bigger than the Oprah couch moment.
Nothing's bigger than that.
Oprah couch you.
And that's like, i want that iconic moment because like if you're talking about yeah staying power like that has
been lampooned a million times it was fucking everywhere i mean him being like i'm in love
and just like jumping up and down on a couch on oprah yeah was like it's just so silly it's amazing
um katie holmes obviously doesn't have the star power that
nicole kidman does but like the nicole kidman one it wasn't as much in the spotlight a lot of that
stuff came out it feels like a lot of the the juicy stuff came out way after the fact you know
and like i almost want you to be able to get tom cruise plus other there's a few on this list where
you can take celebrity plus other well like and like and like there were the crisis of the relationship that involved and there are some
and there are some things were like he like they didn't nicole and tom didn't have any biological
children and then they both went on to have biological children with their with future
partners yeah i feel like i get a little bit of the residual from that since it was with katie
holmes you know what i mean but like a lot of the more it's tough with tom cruise because you want both and you just can't have it so i gotta go
i wanted the couch moment it's just so iconic and i didn't think it would come back i i love
the couch moment exposed psycho tom even though i love tom but it created psycho tom i mean that
couch moment is amazing yeah and it's uh he was on a heater then because he got
into the issue with matt lauer about uh antidepressants women suffering from uh postpartum
yeah i mean it was like that was all that was in the news at that time so that created quite a
stir yeah it was the summer where he had war of the worlds come out i think it was his biggest
opening weekend one of the sickest movies until at the time it was oh it's a good ass movie she had batman begins come out am i up no me no chad's
all right don't do it yeah i'm gonna do it no so this one it's it's been in the news for the
past year no gosh This has been huge.
You weren't getting it, dude.
It's gotten all the girlfriends into football.
It's captured America's heart.
It's America's couple.
That's what I was going to do.
T. Swift and Travis Kelce.
Great pick, dude.
Also, what I like for it, too, is the future.
What does it hold? Hey, also, I like for it too is the future what does it hold
I
hey
also I think it might last
apparently
you know I'm keeping up on this
he asked for permission
from the dad
he's old fashioned like that
yeah
here's the thing
to get engaged
it's
there's no way it's gonna last
but we're at this perfect moment
where we feel like it could
and it's all potential
it's like this is why rom-coms
end when they get together
yes
this is the perfect time to pick it.
It's a perfect pick.
And, dude, it's a badass American dude with an ingenue pop star.
Come on.
It's the best, bro.
She's at the peak of her career right now.
She's the woman of the year, I think.
Yeah.
She's the person of the year.
Yes!
She's the person of the year.
She is Miss America, and who better to bone her
than one of the top football players in America?
There's no one I know that have boned her than Travis Kelsey.
6'5", strong as hell, basically a black guy.
A cornball.
Yeah.
He's a solid cornball, too.
Oh, yeah, he's cheesy as hell.
But you know what?
He doesn't care.
He's so confident in himself.
He's like, dude, I'll say corny shit, I can pull it off.
Our buddy Ross had the best take on
this where he goes, wait, a football player's
dating a cute girl? Big whoop.
One of the best things I've ever heard in my life.
That's basically what it is, but it's
what we want. It's simple,
but it's at the highest level. Dude, when they
shared that kiss in Brazil,
you guys see that? Bro, I didn't see it.
I felt it. She's getting off stage. Maybe it was Argentina i didn't see it so felt it she's getting off
stage maybe it was argentina but they're in south america she's getting off stage he's waiting there
for her she changed the lyrics to the song that guy in the chiefs or you guys know right and then
she's getting off stage he's waiting there and she's like going hey and then she sees him runs up
kisses him and it was awesome yeah the way it's been integrated into like our normal
experiences too like now when i watch a chief's game i know i'm also getting the taylor swift
experience yeah cutting to her in the booth her like gesturing when he gets tackled hard it's
just added this totally new element too much so at times but it's big yeah it's not that's the
thing about when when something really takes the country by storm,
you can't get away from it.
And it's fun and it's annoying, but it shows.
It would be interesting when we do the redraft in 20 years
if this is still on there.
Well, here's what.
Imagine the pressure.
All eyes are on you.
Everyone's reading for you guys, but what if you have doubts?
Can you imagine pulling the plug on that?
Yep. I don't think I could do it. I'd have take it i don't think so either right yeah i can't back out now america loves us america loves us i think they're definitely feeling that pressure
yeah any time you get into an argument with each other you're like man what's america gonna think
about this like if this is the end yeah and you know it's gotta be so scary with taylor swift
because if you break up she's gonna come up with the most eviscerating album ever and she's got an army
that's gonna believe you don't want to piss off the swifties you do not which is probably good
for him because as a football player he's probably used to having it his way and now dude even that
part like uh he bought a new house to like impress her he's probably never been in a dynamic like
this before right well i and i heard the chiefs fans are pretty vicious too. Oh, dude, when he played like shit,
I was so fucking mad
at him and her
because he had just gone
to Argentina.
He's on my fantasy team.
I was like,
we traded for him.
Yeah,
and we fucked up trading for him.
I'm like,
dude,
you're 34
and you're spending
half the week on airplanes
going to different countries.
Like,
come on.
Yeah.
You're so dehydrated,
dude.
Your legs are gone.
What are you doing?
And he's doing
Wall Street Journal interviews
talking about how his body's
always in pain
and he's thinking about retiring.
I'm like,
you don't talk about that during the
season. Or if you're gonna
talk about it, do it two weeks earlier
before we trade away two players
that outperformed you. Jameer Gibbs.
As soon as he
got vaxxed, I was out.
As soon as I saw that,
get out of here, dude. He's been in more
commercials during football than any other person.
Super Bowl. You know,, yeah. Super Bowl.
You know, you win a Super Bowl, you've already won one.
He got the podcast, then his brother had the documentary.
It's a little Kelsey overkill, but I love him.
I love him.
You know, it feels good to have a good pick.
I don't know if you guys feel this way, but when you think you have a fire pick
and you're met with silence, it almost brings me to tears.
Oh, no.
It's like a gut punch where you're like,
oh, oh.
It's the worst feeling in the world.
I'm still massively depressed from my first overall pick.
It's going to take me weeks to get out of it.
Thanks for ruining my Christmas, guys.
It extracts tears from my eyes
where I'm like, don't cry about a pick.
And then I want to lash out at you guys.
Then you'll have a good pick and I'll be like, no.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like, you guys don't fucking know.
Barack and Michelle. It's all personal. I'm three and I'll be like, no. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, you guys don't fucking know. Barack and Michelle.
It's all personal.
I'm three picks in, and the best response I got was, oh.
To Kim and Kanye.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
For the next pick, very similar circumstances.
When I was a young man, this is the American dream of every young man.
What's the premier position in sports?
It's the American football quarterback.
What does every quarterback date?
A supermodel.
I'm going Tom Brady and Gisele.
This is the most dude pick of all the guys.
The biggest dude pick in the world.
Like, literally, you're so right.
It wasn't on my list.
Dude, I was talking with Jill.
It's the only pick I did.
And I was like, I did two of my dank wives.
I was like, I'll pick on my own now.
And it's going a little sideways.
But look, she's a supermodel, billionaire, wealthier than him.
He's probably the best football player besides Jerry Rice of all time.
I think he's the best.
I think he's the best.
He's got twice as many Super Bowls as the next guy.
Yeah, it's huge.
She's the best.
And then we got, and sadly, this is what happens with celebrity couples because we're all up
in their biz.
It fizzled out.
So is this the future that we see for Kelsey and Taylor?
I don't know.
Who knows if they're going to have kids that they grow carrots with and kiss on the lips.
I don't know.
But I'll tell you, it's huge.
She's a fucking international supermodel.
She's a fucking, what is it?
Angel of Victoria's Secret. They call them angels. She's a fucking international supermodel. She's a fucking, what is it, angel of Victoria's Secret?
They call them angels.
She's an angel.
He's the American football quarterback for the Patriots.
Also, for my Anglophile list, I needed a strong American team.
I needed a quarterback on here.
I needed a New England Patriot on here.
So it's huge.
And their divorce was massive, dude.
And we were all up in it Very dude like how it ended too
Where he was just like
I have to keep playing football
Right
And then the season that they had
Where it was like
What was it like
Eight
They were like
500
Bouncing the first round of the playoffs
It was just kind of a shit season
The whole way around
And it's like bro you came
Yeah you came back for this
You came back for this
And then you retire One more season where you like you know you did fine but
like it wasn't a good season by your historically great standards um and you blew up your fam for
that bro it's identity dude but then when they would they were struggling and then they had a
fourth quarter comeback and he came to the sideline and he looked down the barrel of that camera he
was like let's go he was screaming yeah it the sideline and he looked down the barrel of that camera. He was like, let's go.
He was screaming.
It was almost like he was screaming at the God of the world.
I left my wife for this.
Yeah, exactly.
I did it.
This is who I am.
This is what I am.
That's what I'm saying.
It's identity.
He can't leave his identity.
To thine own self be true.
He had to do it.
He's a very experienced pick up on me.
Yeah, but then he did it.
But then he did leave that nine months later.
Correct.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like, his timing was a little,
he's just like, you kind of had,
you kind of could have rode off into the sunset.
He's like, one more ride.
I'm going to get a divorce.
I'm going to do one more ride.
And it's going to go, you know, fine.
They were very stable when they were together though.
Yeah.
Like you never heard about them having any kinds of issues.
It'd be like a
cut to her giselle in the booth clapping here we go cool yeah the only thing that got shady was
that not shitty it was all perpetuated by a crazy person but antonio brown oh my god has done
interviews and been like yeah giselle was into me and that was that's why tom has beef with me now
antonio thinks every woman but antonio brown, he has a slight track record of erratic behavior.
Yeah.
I think the thing, the difference too is that Tom Brady,
it's like she kind of gave up her life for him, right?
He's such a psycho that he...
She made sacrifices.
She made sacrifices.
I think Kelsey will be the one to make sacrifices for Taylor.
I think that's what feels appealing about it,
is that it feels like Travis is actually confident enough in himself
to let someone else be top dog,
whereas with Brady, it did feel like he couldn't meet her.
Yeah.
Right.
And he made less money than her.
That's a very evolved perspective.
Yeah, but it took a lot of pay cuts.
True, he did, to win those bowls.
You're right.
You know.
All right, I got two picks here.
You know what?
If you guys don't mind, I'd love to do three.
No, but we got to wait to do three.
Oh, okay, copy.
Yeah, you got to wait to come back.
Come on, bro.
All right.
I mean, you'll get three, but you got to wait your turn, dude.
All right.
Oh, man, it's tough.
But I know who I'm going with my third pick.
What I love about this one, and I don't think it's been hit yet with any of the other couples, is I love a couple that broke up, but the world still wants them to be together.
And the world can't let go of it.
And I think this couple is the most of that.
I am going Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez.
Nice.
This is good.
This is good.
My dad and wife said to do this armies
of people commenting on every justin bieber and hayley bieber photo being like he loves selena
he loves selena and he'll leave little easter eggs you know whether it be a song that he plays
or a comment that he makes or a sad face in a photo with his current wife where you're like i
think he's supposed to be with selena and she even had to come out in the passive-aggressive way that
women do and she was like stop picking on hayley and you were like she loves it yeah oh she loves it for sure and i also i like
a i like a celebrity couple that they got together so young when they were still like kids so you
know it's like their first love and so it'll forever be like what all their songs are about
i like that yeah you said you love young kids yes okay
yeah
that's what I heard
only if they're cute
great
it's a good pick
it's a great pick
great pick
they're at church together
they have to be separated
it's nice to be appreciated
whoa Siri
if you have another request
you don't need to say
whoa
is that your Siri
yeah whoa are you using AI against us dude are you using another request, you don't need to say... Whoa. Is that your Siri?
Yeah.
Whoa, are you using AI against us, dude?
Are you using AI to compliment you?
Whoa, dude.
Good morning, Chad.
You're beautiful.
Oh, fuck.
Dude, I'll compliment you.
Just call me, dude, Chad.
Dude, me and Siri, my next pick.
I will say this, too.
If I was sitting here with three women in their 20s,
that pick would have gone gangbusters.
No, it's a good pick.
I just don't have any stories.
I like Selena.
I like Bieber.
But I don't seek out any of their shit.
So I'm like, that's good.
I like that.
It's a good one.
But I got nothing else.
It's nice.
Who's Selena with nowadays?
Do we know?
Benny Blanco. Oh, Benny Blanco traditional he's not the most traditionally it's maddie matheson wait which guy's benny blanco he's like music producer he
did a show with maddie yeah but he always does like cooking stuff on instagram yeah he did a
show with maddie matheson oh right don't ever come at me like that don't ever come at me oh but so
i was well you went with i guess i was right i was right yeah you're right you're right you're right come out with that come out with that exactly
master marketer tb12 method dude yeah i i i think for me personally i think i like justin and hayley
more as a couple it's nice you know yeah i mean it's also that's also a pick if you were chris
and you were picking the right guy wrong well it. This is just personal preference. I'm not saying for the criteria of the draft.
I'm just saying my personal preference.
I'm going to grind you to dust.
I might like them more too,
but I just don't think they capture the romantic imagination of people the way.
There's something about us feeling like two people should be together.
Unrequited love.
The unrequited love of it that just, it's got a stronger grip on us.
And I think if we were a bit younger,
it would be similar to another couple
that we haven't brought up,
but that were like pop stars,
you know, getting together when they were young.
So I think if you put it in that context,
you kind of understand what that's like.
You know what I mean?
Because of documentaries.
All right, are we going with five
or are we sticking with four?
I think I only have three.
That's what I mean. Are we going to extend to four? I think I only have three. That's what I mean.
Oh, five.
Are we going to extend to five picks?
I think five.
Yeah.
All right, let's fuck it up.
We've also been going pretty fast, right?
All right.
We're cruising.
We're excited.
Yeah, we are excited.
This is tough because I don't know.
Just like our couples, love fast and fast.
Yeah.
Maybe not all of them.
It's a lot of relationships and double A's so for celebs.
This is the toughest pick of the draft for me
I'm going with
You've done a great job in the four slot by the way
Don't fuck it up
Kidding
You know what I was going to go with a couple that's cute
But there's plenty to choose from
I have to go with another couple
That was a pop culture phenomenon
So much so
That they've created documentaries and narrative television based
off their relationship.
They also created an artifact that has since become a template for how to
become a celebrity.
I am going with Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee.
I didn't even think about it.
And people still want them to be together.
They know they're still in love.
They created the sex tape.
The sex tape created Kim Kardashian,
Paris Hilton.
It became like,
not only did everyone want to watch it
and wank to it
and talk about how big Tommy Lee's swanker was,
but it became something that like,
now there's a tradition of
it yeah a springboard to fame the celebrity sex tape and to me they're they're they're the garbage
version of like harry and megan they're like just degenerates you know they're they're cosmetically
uh like extra but you look at them and you're like yeah they belong and there's there felt
like there was such a strong romantic pull between them you know it was fire they were on a boat
yeah she was dating someone the story was it's a great story it's a great he was basically just
like yo lady like we should hang out we should hang out he's a horn dog yep he's a rock star
but if the tv show is to be believed they got married before they ever had sex.
Whoa.
Their sex, they got married in like a week.
Their sex was staring into each other's eyes.
So you have this guy who all he wants to do is bone,
but then he meets this gal who's super hot.
You're like, of course he's going to want to bone her.
No.
He wants to soul connect with her.
Whoa.
I love this.
This is great.
That's a great pick.
I wish I picked that, dude.
J.J. having a good draft in the four slot.
And then Tommy Lee,
he breaks up with her because they have kids
and he says,
all of a sudden we have kids.
It's like Tommy's not number one in her life anymore.
He's jealous of his own children.
Hilarious.
He comes and fights with her.
His own son knocks him out.
Let's go.
That's what every family needs
Wait they had kids
Dad clocking
They got kids
Son's clocking the dad
Yeah they had two sons
Oh for real
Damn I didn't know that
It's gotta be tough
Yeah tell me they don't pull out
You don't think that's the ideal parent
Tell me don't pull
Dude that's gotta be rough
What band is he Motley Crue
Is that the band
Yeah Motley Crue
Yeah drummer
He drums upside down
Dude that's rad He does hair on He does coke He Yeah, Motley Crue. He's a drummer. He drums upside down. Dude, that's rad.
He does Heron. He does Coke. He does everything.
He's the man, dude.
He's a fun guy.
I think he's 6'3".
He's huge.
That's why Sebastian Stan, I don't think, was big enough.
Dude, massive.
And Pamela Anderson, dude, perhaps the most mega babe ever, maybe?
In terms of like...
Biggest mega babe?
Babe icon?
Yeah.
The 90s is hers.
And it's why borat picked
pamela is why it's the perfect pick for borat to be in love with is pamela anderson it's so funny
it's just so they watch universal symbol of american sex appeal correct i saw her in malibu
not some bag floating in the air i saw her in malibu yeah she's she's right there and i look
i was like no way it was audible she heard it yeah dude and I was like, no way. It was audible. She heard it. She was like, you better believe it, Al.
I think everywhere she walks
people are just, no way.
Dude, that's so true. That's so funny.
Alright, who are we going back to?
Strides. Is it me, really?
Yeah, it's me? I'm scared.
JT, after a pick like that,
how do I even do anything?
I don't know.
How do I do it?
Well, let's switch off. Should switch off should we do oh shit man i'm so scared
oh man see now i'm like down on my list where i'm like what do i even do figure it out dude me too
figure it out all right here we go Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell
Nice
Huge slump
They're in love
They created a celebrity
Who's a good actress
And a great business woman
Oh Katie
What's her name?
Katie Hudson
And almost famous
It's not
It's not Kurt's kid
It's not
Although she does say
Kurt was like a great dad to me
Oh it's not
It's not really
Oh they didn't create biologically
Correct But he But he was a father to her Cool I can get behind that That's cool Yeah Kurt was like a great dad to me. Oh, they didn't create biologically.
Correct.
But he was a father to her.
Cool, I can get behind that.
That's cool.
Because stepdads step up.
And Kurt Russell being a really good stepdad is awesome.
Oh, that was giving me my other pick.
And he's a cool-ass fucking dude.
I love Kurt Russell.
I love that there's longevity of love here.
Goldie Hawn's awesome.
Total babe.
Cool actress. She's a star. And this classic hollywood it's endured through the ages i'm sure it's had its ups and downs their kid wyatt russell
is their kid right so they did create an is that their biological kid or no yes okay k hudson is
not i just learned he stepped up stepped out but wyatt russell good actress cool kate and oliver
they got a kid named oliver yeah he's an actor very celebrity of them to have a kid named oliver He stepped up, stepped out. But Wyatt Russell, good actress. Cool. Kate and Oliver were both from another marriage.
They got a kid named Oliver?
Yeah, he's an actor.
Very celebrity of them to have a kid named Oliver.
So I like that.
He was on a TV show with Jenna Fisher.
He's the lead on it.
Let's go.
So classic.
I love Kurt Russell.
He's one of my all-time favorite actors.
They're cute.
Gotta put him on the list.
And cute.
And you know what?
They're both, like, when they got together,
they were at their peaks. They were both Like when they got together They were at their Their peaks
They were both
As hot as hot gets
And a lot of couples
They can't handle that
But Goldie and Kurt
They seem to just
Take it all kind of easy
Mm-hmm
Dude that naked photo of him
It's pretty sick
Oh I haven't seen that
Look it up right now
And he's
He dropped dong dude
Snake Plissken
You saw Snake Plissken
Snake dude
Yeah dude
Let's go
It's right on the net
Pull it up
Trouser snake.
Trouser snake. James, pull up the photo of Kurt's dong.
Yeah, can we see that?
It was just all looking at my arm.
Oh, nice, nice.
Dude, that would be hilarious if you said dong on the bottom.
Aaron, can you pull up the Pamela Anderson Tommy Lee sex tape real quick to see that?
Oh, wow, yeah.
Sweet for research purposes.
That's a pretty good dick.
It's a good hog, right?
What are we looking at? Kurt Russell's dick. Nice, dude. Look at that dick. That's pretty good dick it's a good hog right what are we looking
at kurt russell's dick nice dude that's pretty good that's got some very cool and with the dad
power good i'm gonna go four inches soft oh yeah oh yeah maybe five i'll give you that i'll give
you every bit of that 100 and then it's gonna grow a little bit too maybe get to seven and a
half eight depending on how close he is to the equator,
a little more moisture in the air.
Fatter, fatter boner.
All right, is it my turn?
Hell yeah.
Dude, this one could either bomb or it could bang.
It's going to bang.
But it's kind of like what happened to this relation.
I mean, this is one of the peaks of psycho love.
And I know I was going with ideal couples up top,
but I'm making a change. I'm going with ideal couples up top, but I'm making a change.
I'm going with controversy.
I'm going with something that captivated the minds and hearts of America.
One of the most brutal kind of divorces we've seen.
And just dirty, violent, dookie love.
Oh, whoa.
Great. Dude, this is an unbelievable pick.
This could be the steal of the draft, dude.
Holy shit.
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard.
I didn't even think about it.
It's a great pick.
Oh, he's back.
She took a duke in his bed.
When I was talking about drafting them,
they were like, why?
I'm like, we know so much about how they fell apart.
We know all the ugly, toxic moments
because it was on a court case.
She took a shit on his pillow.
She took a dump on his pillow.
They were going at it so hard.
She dumped on his pillow
and she blamed it on the Pomeranian.
It's so funny, dude.
Just look at that.
That's a human turd.
I know what it looks like.
Yeah, dude, exactly.
That turd was as much as our dog.
You think I'm an idiot?
He's like, would you say, you wouldn't say that's dogs?
They're toy poodles.
They're about five pounds.
That's not possible.
It's not possible.
There's dogs every day.
It's not that possible.
She took a grumpy.
And then the text, too, where they're like, he's like, you know, lovers like us will always
be at each other's throats.
And he's like, well, I have other uses for your throat.
Whoa.
And the lawyer's reading it back, reading it to him. He's like well i have other uses for your throat whoa lawyer's reading
it back reading it to him he's like could you read that back a lot of toxic stuff in this
relationship oh my god healthy stuff yeah but that's this really shows the depravity of the
american i heard from a friend who partied with amber heard that she's fun like she's the most
fun person but she'll like burp in a guy's face sock him in the arm like i think she's like kind
of uh wow like a boy yeah yeah she's
kind of like uh she's like a ball captain she's like a frat bro and like a really yeah beautiful
woman's wow that's scary and also i mean going back to will and jada she you know johnny depp
was as cool as cool can be like he was jack sparrow he's like he had this mystique yeah it was like artists were
like he's the coolest guy ever but all he did was star in like billion dollar movies yeah he was
somehow really cool to like you know the guys wearing beanies writing poetry but also was like
because he would pour himself goblets of wine and then jam dude dude yeah you want to come over and
jam and then she she kind of turned him into like a bloated drunk.
Yeah.
It's kind of sad because I love Johnny Depp.
I mean, his tan in that first Pirates of the Caribbean, it's the best tan in movies, I think.
His performance is so good.
It's so good.
I mean, if you think about like what did the couple generate outside of the couple?
I mean, we got the trial was like must-see TV for like a month.
I mean, the whole country was watching and every day
was water cooler conversation
yeah I mean they just both seemed
like such nut jobs
just going at it
and I'm sure like
they both just seem like
they just throw a glass every time they get in a
fight you know what I mean just so much
super chaotic and just
or being like i didn't
punch you i hate you yeah yeah exactly yeah i hate you exactly distinguishing between them
she said don't be a pussy which was pretty hilarious yeah but and then his his wine drinking
him him texas the text messages of him like trying to get drugs from his assistant
and then the narrative switches of it like when it started everyone was like she's the victim he's
a horrible person then the trial happened and we went 180 the other way and we're like he's the
victim she's a horrible and now i think everyone's kind of leveled off and is like they're both
but but it was the the public had really strong perspectives on yeah yeah he was just so charming
during the trial and was just going everything
and she was she was a little weird during the show she had to play the victim i don't think
she did she didn't look at the end of the day i don't think she's the best actress
yeah i mean it was like for better or worse a pivotal moment in the me too era
oh totally like a total 180 yeah. No, it's true.
Chris?
Oh, it's me now.
Fuck. One pick, right?
Or two?
No, I get two to do my last two.
Fuck, I don't know what to do.
Man, I'm going to be pulling from.
I know.
Because that was a really, the star power in that one,
it would have been nice to get.
I don't think I'm going to have any that go the distance,
which I'm fine with.
I think I'm going to do teenage pop stars from our youth,
Justin and Britney.
This is huge.
I mean, honestly, that's a great pick.
That's what I would have taken
It's a great pick
Yeah
I mean and it's still in the news
It's still in the news
Yeah because like obviously
She had a documentary come out
You know talking mostly about
Or talking a lot about
The conservatorship
And there was all the pub about that
But I mean they were
There were two huge pop stars
Who were dating it's a
very big deal they were teenagers um that everybody knew and it was just uh what a time to be alive
you know and we got to see it play out in their work like when justin came when when she cheated
on him with wade robson which is the the story we have at least who knows what really happened we were all like what like 15 when cry me a river came out oh my god and the music
video and you were like oh and like dude kind of everybody was like justin let's go yeah but i mean
karma yeah i read the memoir i listened to the memoir on audible and it's like karma kind of
came back around because at that point
we're like fuck britney she cheated on justin she's a terrible person blah blah everyone turned
on her the book comes out turns out he was cheating on her the whole time and he cheated on her first
and she this but this is her book this is according to her yeah this is according to her she cheated on
him because he was cheating on her.
She hit up Wade and she's like, what's bone?
And... And Wade walked all the way over there.
Dude, you have Wade just...
Yeah.
He's like, what's up, Brittany?
He pop locks during sex.
Yeah, he choreographed.
He's like...
He's like, to the lip.
Yeah.
Now slide.
Now slide.
We're on a four count.
We're on a four count.
It's actually very annoying.
Get on my tail.
Yeah.
All right. I'm gonna come
on the drop
and then
it comes out that JT
according to her
forced her to get an abortion
whoa
this is like gnarly stuff
there was some heavy
accusations in there
yeah he might have
to account for it
she also said that
he said faux shiz
homie
to a black guy
to genuine
to genuine
oh genuine
faux shiz faux shiz and genuine has come out and black guy, to Genuine. To Genuine. Oh, Genuine, faux shiz, faux shiz.
And Genuine has come out and said it's not true.
Really?
And for my money.
He did?
He came out and said that?
Genuine said, I don't remember that ever happening.
Hilarious.
Doesn't mean it didn't happen, though.
If any of my exes ever said that I said faux shiz, my homie, to a black guy,
I would lose.
That's the worst thing you could accuse me of.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Dude.
No, that's...
Look, Justin's kind of got he
wore cornrows one time remember that genuine did say though that justin timberlake actually did a
very offensive mexican accent um yeah pop stars from our youth and we just got to live with the
relationship and then they both you know i mean i just want to bring it up even though it has
nothing to do with this specific relationship but But, man, remember Kevin Federline?
Oh, yeah, dude.
Oh, that guy.
The hats.
I mean, Britney, when I was 10, 12, just started, you know, J-ing off.
It's like, it was Britney all day.
Yeah.
The one where she, the MTV Music Awards where she came out with a snake.
I remember Conan O'Brien had the joke where it's like millions of boys hit puberty during
this performance.
It's true.
And it did feel like that.
Dude, the music video, I'm a Slave for You.
Oh my God.
So good, dude.
So ground me.
So good, bro.
She's got bangers.
Oh, I got another one.
And they knew each other since they were...
They came up...
It's kind of like another couple, like Zach Efron, Vanessa Hutchins.
They come through this Disney pipeline.
They're playing love interest kind of, and then you're like, oh, and they actuallyron, Vanessa Hutchins, they come through this like Disney pipeline. They're playing like love interest kind of,
and then you're like, oh, and they actually are together.
And it did, the breakup did kind of,
it felt like it segued into his solo stuff,
which was, you know, it's always hard to do
for somebody to branch out from the group
and then hit the solo stuff,
even though he was always kind of anointed
as the one who would do it.
It's funny too, like this,
just assessing these people's like relationships,
it's funny to see how they've like risen and fallen just in our like uh pop culture love of them like justin
timberlake was the coolest guy in the world and now i think everyone thinks he's lame he's sort
of like he's sort of like a uh kind of like basic dad yeah he's like a boomer he's like a basic
boomer and like his like they have that clip of him
kind of not dancing
too athletic.
Yeah.
And everyone's like,
this guy sucks.
And I was like,
it's true.
His biggest album
was for Michael Jackson.
There's no songs that he wrote.
Right.
No, Future Sex,
Love Stuff,
whatever that one was called.
That's Michael Jackson,
I think.
I think that was written
for Michael Jackson.
He didn't write that.
Oh, it was written for Michael Jackson.
Yeah.
He didn't write any of those.
I'm not like Justin Timberlake.
He's not an artist
is what I'm saying, bro.
He's a pop star.
He had that Super Bowl performance that I think kind of bombed.
I like that one.
I don't know.
People shit on it, though.
Yeah, well, like his 2010.
The Janet Jackson one?
2010 on.
He became like two.
It says Justin has written or co-written all eight of his number one billboard hits
okay so Strider's just a liar
nothing new there
he's trying to have to do
a smear campaign dude
smear campaign
I think
he lost his edge I think
yeah well like
he's just been around
since he was fucking 15
16
and then now he's in like
the reunion
tour part of his career
which like
you know
it's just he's not cool anymore
but like nobody's gonna stay cool
for like
four decades
you know
even
Clooney's losing it
a little bit
I never thought
that would happen
Clooney doesn't feel
as cool
are you for real right now
he needs a good movie dude
I haven't seen something
that I've liked Clooney
and like
look I like his
Nespresso commercials
they're not bad
but
obviously he's making
bank with
he made bank
with Casamigos but I'm not like he's not like really he's not as with casa he made bank with casamigos but i'm not like
he's not like really he's not as cool as he used to be but like he's also not like
he's not 45 anymore like things change yeah uh i mean you know you know his friends with uh
jt and uh jessica beal is brad fuller oh nice, nice. And then when that came out,
when Timberlake was like,
when one of his co-stars on
a play or something, they had
their hands on each other's inside of their legs
and it went viral. That was bad.
I think that was part of the
people stopping, not being as
enamored with Justin Timberlake was when that
came out. Because that was like three or four
years ago.
And he's obviously famously married to jessica beale wait whose hand was it was like justin timberlake like out in a restaurant with like co-stars from something he was working on and
him and one of his co-stars like had like their hands on the inside of each other's legs and you
could see it under the table somebody filmed it i have no inside information but all these people
are just banging all the time yeah they have remember during covid when all these celebrities kept
getting sick and i was like it must be so easy for you to isolate though you live in a mansion
with like tons of resources orgies yeah orgies so many orgies celebrities only have group sex
man do i get a couple that's very unsexy but is still together?
Yeah, that sounds nice.
Just lose.
Nah.
Yeah, okay.
All right, well, then I'm going to go with...
It's a doomed relationship, but for a different reason, and it's sad.
But, you know, it was a big one.
I'm going to go Courtney Love, Kurt Cobain.
Oh, that's a good pick.
Good pick.
Very gnarly. But, yeah, fuck, dude.ain. Oh, that's a good pick. Good pick. Very gnarly.
But yeah, fuck, dude.
This is huge, bro.
I mean, they did hard, hard drugs together.
And one of them, who is one of the biggest rockers on the planet, took his own life.
It's sad.
And it's grimy.
But I love the pick.
Because there is a kind of couple that, like Sid and Nancy, Bonnie and Clyde, these kind
of doomed people who
just get into this car together and like hey pedal to the metal and we're just gonna we're just gonna
drive it till we crash yeah and then their daughter ended up making like a docu like
I think she made a documentary about it I don't know if she made it but like they have a daughter
there's a if you've ever seen montage of heck um it's not
it's a lot of like home video of them dude and like it's fucking gnarly but like it's a good
movie and there's just like yeah like you said like it was like kind of a train wreck but it's
also romantic in a way and it is like like you said like those classic couples of like just
doomed relationships they were edgelords like there's a you can watch them fighting with axel
rose together at like an mtv vma type situation and they're just saying the most
like axel's trying to talk shit to them but he can't because they're both so depraved
they're just like like courtney's pregnant or something and kurt's like we're gonna get an
abortion like he's just saying like yeah why and you can see axel's brain just break he's like how
do i argue with these two but they were totally on the same page.
I feel like,
yeah,
when you see it,
it's true.
Love was fucked up one,
but it was like,
feels real.
Yeah.
And it's depressing and kind of romantic.
Definitely.
Strider.
Fuck.
I feel like we're losing steam. Yeah'm like you know we're going is it
just is it just because we're scraping the bottom right now yep yeah we're starting to do couples
that are it's gonna get bleak i'm doing a couple that i don't even know about
well there's other celebrity couples on here but boring boring oh boring. Oh, it's Chad's pick, by the way. Oh, okay. Chad's pick.
Damn, dude.
Okay.
Thank you, Aaron.
I mean, I think, I think I'm going to go, okay.
So I think, you know, everyone was like, who's going to, who's going to tame, this is the
like leading silver fox in Hollywood.
Who's going to tame this man?
Good one.
And he was like the ultimate bachelor until he was in his 50s.
And everyone's like, is he just going to be a bachelor his whole life?
Or is someone going to find him and tame this man?
And someone found him.
And they're like the ultimate kind of prestige kind of couple.
They're like ultimate. It's George prestige kind of couple. They're like, you know, ultimate.
It's George Clooney and Amal Clooney.
There's another one where I thought you were going Bill and Hillary.
No.
Why are you taking them?
They're a great couple.
They look great together.
Yeah.
She's like a humanitarian lawyer.
My only thing is, is she wasn't famous before they.
Yeah.
It's the second time you've thrown that out.
I know.
But you know what?
I think it's as soon as they became a couple, they became like an it couple.
And it's like they're wedding and like Cuomo.
Or that's when he lost his fastball.
I mean.
He does seem slightly diminished.
You could argue that in almost every case, the guy lost his fastball once he got right
do you think the invite from i and i think it is the invite from george in a mall is that the top
celebrity couple invite you can get for dinner whoa probably yeah i mean it's like you're dipping
into both hollywood and also politics a little bit and like prestige and philanthropy it's you
got everything if you're Channing Tatum
Or you're Chris Martin
From Coldplay
And you get the
Letter in the mail
And it says
Hey George Namal
Wants you
For dinner
You're like
Hey
Mark it on the calendar
We're going
Yeah
Cancel all other plans
Yeah
Whereas if Pam and Tommy
Are like
Hey we're doing dinner
Yeah
You show up
Maybe you show up
But more in the
Yeah you actually
Might show up for that too
I show up for all of these
Yeah But that's a great point show up for all of these. Yeah.
But that's a great point.
Show up, you wear a raincoat.
All right, shit, man.
Shit, man.
Epstein and Maxwell?
That was a joke from the chat.
I stole that from Young Rick.
Young Rick, way to bring it, dude.
It's just what we needed.
So, you know, I got one on here that's got some salacious.
I got some couples that love each other.
I do have print Harry and Meghan, who's a little salacious.
This one's maybe be, should I go something that's in the news or something that's more timeless?
Classic.
You can't ask me.
I just want to pick so bad.
Okay, okay, okay.
I know you see this. too I just want to pick so bad okay okay okay I know you see this but I want you to pick
what you know
pick pick pick
pick what's real
for you
I know
it's like
think about doing
here
wait wait
hold on
I know
you're right
you're right
I'm done with my kids
alright
but don't boost them
too much maybe I'll go with just to get but don't boost them too much
maybe I'll go with
just to get
you know
the tabloid sensationalism
going
that we need
Shakira
and Gerard Piquet
you did two soccer players
on your list dude
I have three athletes
yeah
you're a dude dude
a lot of sports dude
yeah you're a dude
yeah and it's another it's another pop star with a soccer player.
Should have gone Joe DiMaggio and Marilyn Monroe.
I was going to do that.
That's exactly what I was going to do.
Yeah.
I was going to do DiMaggio or Monroe or this or one more, but that was exactly what I was
He put flowers on her grave every year.
But do I do Arthur Miller?
I like DiMaggio.
I like DiMaggio more, too.
You know, I'm a sports guy.
So don't know much about this, but my wife's like, it's a good pick.
You watched him play when you were a kid.
Exactly.
Don't know much.
I do know they're neighbors. He
buys houses to move in. They do all
sorts of crazy shit.
She's making diss tracks about him, dude.
It's one of those banging
nannies. Yeah, banging the nanny.
Diss tracks.
Chris, I love it.
Yeah. I mean, I love it. Yep.
Yeah.
I mean, look, it was great.
Great Spanish soccer player marrying a Colombian pop star.
And when it's live.
My mom fucking loved it, dude.
And then she's like, do you hear Pique cheating on Shakira?
And she's fucking going after him with her music.
It's nice, though, because then Shakira's like, you know, she's just hitting the town.
And she's just dressed to the nines being like, you think you can fuck with me?
I'll destroy you.
And he's retired.
So he doesn't have the platform to fight back anymore.
No pitch anymore.
But that's what happens when you cheat on Shakira, dude.
You don't cheat on Shakira, bro.
Get fucked.
What an idiot, dude.
You don't cheat on Shakira.
What an idiot.
He is very handsome, which is nice.
And he's an international soccer star so it makes
absolute sense uh for the final pick sometimes when we pick movies you do a sequel uh in this
instance i'm going to be doing uh the prequel the original whoa i'm going brad pitt and jennifer Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston I think
they're the couple
that
I think that's the definitive
Brad Pitt couple
dude it's big
yeah
I love them
I love Brad
I love Jen
I think they should still be together
exactly
yeah
you know
it's Rachel from Friends
fucking it's Brad Pitt pitt these are two
huge celebs this is big they seem so happy together and i think the ending of it actually
makes it kind of more powerful and we're still kind of obsessed do you remember when they did
that zoom camera acting thing during covid where they did fast time and there was just a little
moment where jen was like oh hey brad and brad was like oh hey jen and we were all like oh my god
and they still do interviews i just watched a j Jen Aniston interview the other day where the guy was like was it hard breaking
up with Brad and she was like yeah of course and he was like do you guys still talk like we want
them it's kind of like Justin and Selena we forever want them to circle back to each other
no matter who else they're with they felt like the right couple and it was a name too Brangelina
was it Brangelina was that what they called it no no what's brand that's brad that's brad and angel okay i mean if they got back together i would
be so happy that that's one couple i would they does they should be together it's the most tragic
breakup of all time and he broke up with her for angelina who just seems like complete opposite
of her just ice cold and she's just warm she's j Jennifer Aniston. She's like America's sweetheart.
That's what it is too.
Is that,
I think people love Jennifer Aniston.
No one really loves Angelina.
Yeah.
And then it was kind of like,
cause they say Jen didn't want to have kids and Angelina did,
but Jen does seem like the sweeter of the two somehow as well.
Not even that Angelina had a bunch of kids and like went,
she has like the most kids. Yeah.
Like, can you imagine
Brad and Jen's kids
they'd be so cool
yeah
man
I mean
yeah
that one's
I think that's the biggest tragedy
in celebrity history
see mine was always
Ben Affleck and J-Lo
and they've since
righted that ship
that I'm like
now I can rest
and I don't need to worry
about any other
celeb couple
getting back together because
that was the one. If Brad and Jen got back
together in their 60s
that'd be huge. They'd still be
hot. I'm fine. They'd still be hot. You know
they've really scratched that itch for me.
I'm saying that in a positive way.
No no no I mean like. Oh you're okay now.
Like I'm okay. You made your peace with it?
You moved on. I have not moved on.
You go good. I have not moved on. Oh it's okay. Hey maybe. Yeah. You? You moved on. I have not moved on. You'd go, good. I have not moved on.
Oh, it's okay.
Hey, maybe.
Yeah.
You have not moved on from what?
Their breakup.
There you go.
Yeah.
And I'll tell a funny story.
When I was in Miami one time, it was like Brad and Angelina were breaking up, and you
and your lady were there, and I go, who's side are you guys on, Pitt or Angelina?
And my dad was like, Pitt.
And then when I asked your wife, I go, Pitt or Angelina? She dad was like Pitt And then when I asked
Your wife
I go
Pitt or Angelina
She goes
Aniston
People don't forget
And then I went back
To my dad
And I said
Pitt or Aniston
And my dad went
Pitt
Or Aniston?
My dad was across the board
Pitt
No matter what happens
Dudes
Dudes
Let's go
It's Pitt
Well only
Come on
Only one of those people Was in legends of the fall exactly
the movie that's a hilarious movie all right so do we want to do some honorable mentions now i
almost did maryland and jfk but i just don't think they dated enough uh i got a ton of honorable
mentions you know the the old davidson and any woman who fucking is hot. Ariana Grande is probably the top one. Because they were engaged, but yes.
I think this one is weird, but Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor.
Yeah.
And they got broken up and together like four times.
I mean, I think, what about like business couples like De Niro and Scorsese?
No.
Do they fuck?
It needs to be romantic.
That's like a creative partnership.
That's different than a...
Okay.
Dude,
then you guys could be on the list.
Whitney Houston,
Bobby Brown.
Great one.
Scandalous.
One of the all-timers.
The one that I was thinking about
maybe picking,
but it's just not enough.
It's like cute,
but like Faith Hill and Tim McGraw
still together.
Beautiful.
Dude,
Gwen Stefani and...
What's his face? Gavin Rosdale Gwen Stefani What's his face?
Gavin Rosdale
Yeah what's his face?
Or Blake Shelton
Yeah Blake Shelton
Harrison Ford
Calista Flockhart
Ellen DeGeneres
And Portia DePosse
I must have done one
DeRossi
Speaking of nanny
Sleeping with nannies
You got Jude Law
Santa Miller
Oh yeah
He slept with the nanny?
He slept with the nanny
That was another one
Of the nanny bangs
That broke up a couple
Colin Jost
and Scarlett Johansson
I think that's the worst
yeah
also
what about Ryan Reynolds
and Blake Lively
aren't they just a bit
annoying
they're a bit much
but you know
people like it
they're on Instagram
they have a presence
but I kind of put them
in like the Chrissy and John
right
where it's like
commodified in every way
and like Dax
and
oh annoying so it's like an industry so every way and like Dax and oh annoying
you're just like
oh so it's like an industry huh
so we're just like
making money off this thing
but you know what
Ryan Gosling
Eva Mendez
hot
sexy
it's so hot
and they're just
but they're out of the spotlight
they don't give us enough
they don't give us enough
that's why you can't pick it
I'm so happy for them
Krasinski
Emily Blunt
and here's the thing about
if you're gonna pick a Gosling one
she's so much better than him
thank you do you go Gosling and She's so much better than him Thank you
Do you go Gosling and McAdams first though?
Whoa
Cause they did the notebook
Then they're together
Did they date?
And then yeah
And then the kiss at the VMAs
You're right the kiss was huge
With the fucking
With the maroon fivespan
He picks her up
And he's wearing a Save Darfur shirt
Freddie Prinze Jr.
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Dude Darfur was so
That's a great one
They're a real deal man
Love them
I love them Dude Angelina and Billy Bob Wearing vials of blood around their neck Dude Darfur was so That's a great one They're a real deal man Love them I love them
Dude Angelina and Billy Bob
Wearing vials of blood
Around their neck
That's a great one
That's a great one
Oh and the story
Of them having sex
On the way to like
The fucking Oscars
Or some shit
All the Taylor Swifts
The Mayor
Yes
The Gyllenhaal
The Styles
The Styles
The Styles might be
Seemed like the most fun
Jessica Simpson
And Nick Lachey
I almost did it
The first show
It was the first show.
You're right.
Dude, that would have been nice.
Dennis Quaid, Meg Ryan.
Remember that one?
Whoa, yeah.
I mean, she got caught with Russell Crowe.
That's another one where you know Dennis was doing his own biz.
On that terrible movie, Proof of Life.
Oh, the Concord.
No, they got, yeah, they were on the plane together.
Fuck.
They had sex on a plane?
No, no, no.
They were just sitting in a canoe.
At hypersonic speed?
Yeah, yes.
That's cool.
Yes.
They were actually in a spaceship. That's cool. Right? No, no, no. They were just sitting in a canoe. At hypersonic speed? Yeah. Yes. That's cool. Yes. They were actually in a spaceship.
That's cool.
Right when the plane went boom.
Harrison Ford and Calista Flockhart.
Yeah.
Yep, yep.
Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson.
Yeah.
Desi Arnaz, Lucille Ball.
Yeah.
Classic.
Yeah, I saw the movie.
Freak out.
Catherine Bigelow and James Cameron.
Yeah, I like that.
That's a good power.
Yeah, for sure.
Elon Musk and Grimes, dude. I went James Cameron. I went James Cameron. Dude, you had Grimes. Dude, Greta that. That's a good power. Yeah, for sure. Elon Musk and Grimes, dude.
I want James Cameron
and Amanda Hamilton, personally.
Dude, Greta Gerwig
and Noah Baumbach.
Strong.
Dude, my boy.
Martin McDonough
and the Fieber-Waller Bridges.
Oh, yeah.
They're dating?
Yeah.
How smart is that couple?
Oh, wow.
They just must banter
so fucking much.
Not confirmed,
but I'm thinking, yeah.
I'm thinking they got a movie coming out right now.
I think that's a studio put on.
Yeah, exactly.
They definitely boned, but it's a studio put on.
Yes, yes.
Russell Brand and Katy Perry.
Whoa.
Oh, also Orlando Bloom.
Katy Perry.
That's a nice one.
Kind of boring, though, what's going on.
Nothing's happening.
Oh, no, it's fine.
I'm just like.
They got the dick pic of him, though.
I'm happy they're happy.
Yeah, same, same. Judd apatow leslie mann yeah good um adam brody leighton meester they're a very cute one they seem to have it figured out matthew winkle mentioned this earlier
uh javier bardem and penelope cruz yeah dude oh bro yeah That's sexy. Hayden Christensen and Rachel Bilson.
Oh, I love Rachel Bilson, yeah.
They dated?
Jumper?
My boy fucking Chalamet and Kylie.
Ooh.
Let's go.
Wow.
Do you have any more?
He's dating Kylie?
Yeah.
Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz.
Oh, yeah.
That's a hot couple.
Sexy British people.
Ice.
Oh, yeah, it's a hot couple.
Sexy British people.
I have oddly three associated with it.
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Rob McElhenney and Caitlin Olsen.
Just not big enough stars.
Charlie Day and The Waitress.
Oh, they're married?
I love that they're married.
It makes me so happy.
That's cool.
And the one that killed me the most when it broke up still kills me daniel devito and rhea perlman oh yeah dude yeah also when did they split it was like probably 10 years ago now damn amy poehler and uh
will arnett yeah oh that's good comedy is just not hot enough. Correct. Now, Justin Verlander, Kate Upton.
Yeah.
But just boring.
Also, am I going to bed?
They did have a scandal, though.
The fappening, yeah.
Yeah, but that's not her fault.
That's like some dude, you know, come on.
Some fucking pervert.
Some perverts out there, you know.
Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder.
Good one.
Oh, yeah.
A couple in the 90s.
Very cool
My favorite player growing up
David Justice and Halle Berry
Tumultuous
Very
David Justice and Halle Berry, really?
Yeah, yeah, in the 90s
Who's Keanu been with?
He's an under the radar guy
Yeah, he's an under the radar guy
That's what we love about Keanu, dude
He's just riding a motorcycle
Around town
Bogart and Bacall
Obviously
Great one
Classic one
Paul Newman
Joanne Woodward
Beautiful
Until they died
Michael Douglas
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Oh
That's a good one dude
Warren Beatty
And Annette Bening
Yep
Jack and Angelica Hughes
Just got mentioned in the chat
It's Ted Danson
And Whoopi Goldberg
But I was going to say Mary Steenburgen Ted Danson and Whoopi Goldberg. But I was going to say Mary Steenburgen.
Ted Danson and Whoopi Goldberg?
That was a thing that happened.
Really?
I think he did blackface with her one time on a magazine cover.
No, it was a Friars Club roast.
Oh.
He roasted her in blackface, and she was cool with it,
but the world wasn't.
Oh, and we mentioned him earlier.
I mean, guy, Bruce and Demi.
Right. You know what? I think I mean, guy, Bruce and Demi. Right.
You know what?
I think I'd go Demi and Ashton.
It was so crazy when that happened.
Cute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Nothing's going on.
But the Demi, it was the most dramatic of all of them.
For sure.
Because of the Bruce relationship and then the age difference, it was more tabloid.
That's a night one.
Charlie's Angels 2, when she came out in Charlie's Angels.
Full Throttle, dude.
Yeah.
The desert eagles that are gold-plated, dude.
I almost picked this one.
Another Charlie's Angel.
Drew Barrymore and Tom Green.
Oh, yeah.
Yes.
Dude, Cameron Diaz and Benji Maddox.
Good Charlotte guy.
Oh, right. I was like like who the fuck is that Oh what about
Travis Barker and fucking Kourtney Kardashian
This just came up in the chat
Ethan Hawking and Will Thurman
Alright Aaron let's get to it
Who's the champ
Okay
Alright let me look at the list
Let me recap the list.
Here we go.
Chris, we got Brangelina, Kim and Kanye, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes,
Brittany and Justin, Kurt and Courtney.
We got Chad, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Barack and Michelle, Swellsy.
Which one?
Swellsy?
Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey.
Oh, Swellsy.
Come on, guys.
Get with the lingo.
I'm not up to date. That's way off my my notes johnny depp and amber heard and george cluny in the mall
strong finish strong finish yes uh strider harry and megan posh and becks uh tom brady and giselle
uh kurt and goldie uh shakira and gerard pk
we got jt jt coming in hot uh with will and jada then we've got uh benifer so good
one half like jennifer lopez love endures Bieber and Selena Gomez Pam and Tommy
and then Brad Pitt
and Jennifer Aniston
that's strong
I mean
I'm pretty sure
JT won
dude has a number four
to come in and do that
yeah
the guy's obsessed
with celebrity culture
I don't know though
I don't know
oh yeah if you want to pick mine instead I won't mind let I don't know Oh yeah
If you want to pick mine instead
I want mine
Let's hear it from the judge
I think in last place
I'm going to go
I think I'm going to go Strider last place
Dude you're making a mistake
I'm telling you
I'm telling you
The way their list started
You're a pick
You're an order pick guy
My list maybe
Ended weaker
As it should have
Look at these
Dude you're addicted
To getting last
I am addicted
I think I've gotten last
With this the last four times
Here's the thing
If you look at the stats
You're like
I think you're one of the top two
I think I've also got
The most lasts
I think it's either
Hit or miss
You run hot?
Not most wins, but up there.
Well, there's only four of us.
I appreciate you saying that.
Aaron, but you don't know what you're talking about over here, dude.
All right, keep cruising.
Gerard BK, sorry.
That's you.
Spanish is only the third most spoken language on the planet.
Yeah, you ever heard of Shakira?
Oh, my God.
Paul Bettany, Jennifer Connelly just came in the chat.
That's a good one.
Yeah.
I like it.
All right.
Anyway, in third, I think I'm going to go I think I'm going Chris
Yeah
Yeah
I think Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman
Maybe puts you up another notch
But to go Katie
I get it though
There was so much attention on the daughter
Suri when she was born
Jumping on the couch
It's a good list don't get me wrong
I just think the other two are better.
I appreciate it.
Thank you.
Let's just get to it.
The winner of this draft, I'm going Chad.
Aaron's out of his mind.
He's crazy.
Aaron's out of his mind.
Look, look.
This is insane. You can't argue. mind. Look, look. This is insane.
You can't argue.
Number one pick, billionaires.
Double billionaires.
You don't know anything about celebrity couples.
Dude, he took Obama and Michelle.
Yeah, but then he...
That's not like a celebrity couple.
He went Swell C3.
Let's hear his reason.
Don't just trash my first place.
Let the man speak.
For all the shit I take about late round high picks,
I mean, with Swelsey, three.
And that's probably the biggest couple right now.
Yeah, right now.
Aaron.
No, bro.
Recency bias.
And ending on George Clooney, Amal, I think is huge.
She wasn't even.
She's not even famous.
She's a lawyer.
That's why it's five.
That's why it's five.
You pull 100 people and say, who's George Clooney
married to? 20% are going to get it.
What type of lawyer is Amal? No one knows.
And look, I don't want to get conspiratorial. He picked me
last in the alcohol draft and then
Bertolina had me number one.
That doesn't happen.
He wasn't here for the arguments. I love Aaron.
That's just my thought.
You came in like a lot of celebrity couples.
It was like this I mean
Gross miscarriage of justice
This is a gross miscarriage of justice
I think going Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston
After Brad Julian has already been on the list
Was a little
I do agree with that
But I think they're a better pick than
It's like
Honestly I think Bennifer should be number one on your list
and not Will and Jada, but, you know.
I pick them back to back.
I know.
But you can do them in the right order.
But if you have this sixth pick and the seventh pick in the NBA draft,
you hold it against the team if they took the wrong guy sixth?
Number one should be number one.
And be smarter because you're getting more value.
You're paying a little less.
You know what?
We got it.
We got to live with it. We got to live with it.
We got to live with it.
Chad wins.
Congrats.
Nice job.
Well done.
You got the dub.
I mean, it feels good.
Oh, man.
Thank you, Aaron.
You are...
Is this April Fool's, dude?
Is it a complete reversal?
No. No, it's not. Mine did not win. This is fucking twisted. What do the stats say? Thank you Aaron You are Is this April Fool's dude? Is it a complete reversal? No
No it's not
Mine did not win
This is fucking twisted
What do the stats say?
Yeah what do the stats say?
Go to the chat
I haven't run a poll
For the entire draft
But
I don't know
There's not
What we need to do
Is call someone right now
Who knows about celebrities
I don't know shit
I should have gotten last
I'm a piece of shit Christmas is real
Alright let's keep it moving
Should we just get into beefs and babes and legends
Yeah
Alright Chad who's your beef of the week
I have beef of the week
Do I want to talk about
The thing I told you guys about
What was it
In the steam room
Oh dude that's worth talking about
So I was in the steam room
I voted
Watching JT vote for himself
That he won
I was in the steam room
At the gym
Two days ago,
and I'm breaking a sweat.
I'm probably about 10 minutes in,
and there's two guys next to me.
There's a third guy over there.
Two guys next to me.
You know, when you're in the steam room,
you wrap your towel around, right?
Wrap towel, and some guys go unwrap towel.
That's not out of the norm.
You know, sometimes you just want to be full nude in there so two guys next to me they come in they start off wrapped towel
over time they both become unwrapped towel and i'm like you know okay but it's not it's normal
behavior and then i'm just looking down i'm'm sweating. Then I hear some rubbing,
and I look over at the guy next to me.
I thought he was rubbing his leg,
so I was like, oh, he's rubbing his leg.
And then I do a double take.
He's Jaying off.
Fuck, dude.
He's rubbing his hog.
You're not allowed to do that.
No.
He's rubbing his hog.
And I go like this.
I go, oh.
And then I look.
So he's next to me. There's another guy right here. I look like this. I go, oh. And then I look. So he's next to me.
There's another guy right here.
I look this way.
The guy across from him is J-ing off too.
Oh.
They're J-ing off to each other.
No, no, no, no, no.
You got it.
Did you report him?
I just beelined it out of there.
If you want to do that, I'm sorry.
You got to save up and get your own sauna
And do that at your home
I felt violated
No that is
You didn't sign up to watch two guys jacking off to each other
I felt violated yeah
And you know what I thought they thought I would be
In on it
You gotta ask
You have chill energy
I think they had like
You know there's like signals
Yeah
There are some signals
You didn't reciprocate right
You didn't like
What are you supposed to
I was just drinking my water
Maybe that's a signal
It's smart
I never thought to do that
Maybe you could bring a reusable exactly water bottle yeah if it's fiji it means
you're down for those if it's aquafina it means pull out your wiener yeah um so uh yeah that was
a dude that's insane dude that's um yeah... Yeah. But I mean, it was very...
It's aggressive.
You waited until they nutted, though, before you left, right?
Oh, I was like, yeah, take your time, fellas.
I don't want to ruin it and open up the door
because then the cold air comes in
and it could fuck everything up.
So I'm just going to sit here politely.
But you guys are 40 plus.
But it has been eight minutes.
So I got somewhere to be.
Exactly.
Let's wrap it up
I'm overheating
Exactly
So
That's insane bro
Yeah
That was my experience
Can't do that
You alright?
It's
What?
Are you okay?
Yeah my first thought was
I was like
This will be great for stand up
There you go
Nice
Use it
Yeah
Use it
Use it
Use it
Yeah Strider who's your B for the week my b for the
week is uh how i'm addicted to getting last dude uh should maybe it's myself i can't blame the
system because the one consistent variable of me getting last is me drafting so i gotta figure it
out i gotta go back to the uh no the drawing board and really
figure out what's going on here because i am getting lasts don't a lot don't get down yourself
you have a lot of firsts you take creative risks thank you thank you i will take swings i think
you got to be yourself if you play it safe and you try to change yourself for the drafts i've done that and it's
messed me up the alcohol draft babe ruth you're right you're right i mean you have some of my
favorite picks you have babe ruth you have shakira and gerard pique thank you you finished second in
the fan poll on the chat thank you i think that's probably right there i think jt's first for sure
i think jt did win i don't think i last, but I don't know who's last.
Oh, Chris is with 4%.
Probably.
Fuck.
I mean, yeah, yeah.
But in any case, I got to hit the drawing board.
You know, here's the thing.
Don't get bitter, get better.
So, yeah.
It's my beef.
It's a good beef.
Chris, who's your beef of the week?
it's my beef it's a good beef chris who's your beef of the week uh my beef is with uh my newborn daughter uh ro she was um i was what i was taking the night shift so becca could get
some uninterrupted sleep um and she was and ro was passed the fuck out or so i thought
i'm reading a book
waiting for more guys
to hop on
so we can game
and it's the middle
of a very cool sex scene
and like
right as it's starting
to get into it
she fucking wakes up
and starts
oh
tough
totally took me out of it
I ended up reading
that chapter
in like four
different sittings
oh
part of it was
on me for not adapting to be like just wait until she's really fucking down but like yeah that's my
beef it's good beef my beef is more i want to pose it to you guys as a query so i watch the ufc i'm
super obsessed with it ever since conor mcgregor the shit talk has gone to like an exponentially
higher level and it kind of peaked in the last like week or two they did back-to-back press conferences one dude got picked on for being poly with his wife
another guy got picked on for his dad dying when he was 13 and like some gang violence and then
it finally went to one guy getting picked on for getting beat and perhaps molested by his dad
oh my god what jesus christ and dana white was even somewhat
transparent about it was like hey ever since colby who's like this professional troll made a comment
about leon's dad dying he's like i'm gonna take you to the seventh world of hell you can see your
dad there he said pay-per-view buys went up 25 so clearly there's like a lurid interest i i i'm more engaged when there's stakes like that. But is it too much?
Yeah, well, like...
It's fighting, too.
You get to see it get worked out.
The guy who was a piece of shit got his ass beat.
So that feels good.
But it doesn't always work out that way.
No, it's nice when it feels like it's justice.
You're talking shit about, like, you fuck chicks and your dad died and you were molested like
yeah it doesn't seem like it's good for society right it's good for ufc and views but it's a bit
too jerry springer yeah i mean with impressionable kids they're gonna start probably talking shit
that way yet i will say all the fighters turned against Colby for bringing up his dad. Yeah.
Yeah. Hopefully it just right sizes itself and people,
you know,
go against the trend,
but that's fucking dark.
Yeah.
It feels like it feels below the belt.
It's like,
we got a hat.
You shouldn't punch someone in the dick.
You also shouldn't take those types of shots at someone,
but it's the problem is it makes money,
which is bad.
And then for appropriate shit talk,
the general parameters are that it's something that that person did not something that
happened to them or that is outside of their control yes it's like that's what they say in
all sports where people are like i'm a man come after me don't talk about my family or kids i
fucked up let me take it i'll wear it leave like them out of it it's like yeah bro like separate
them if like someone goes on a killing spree you don't blame the family it's like this is the fucking dude that it's yeah it's
just a lot you know it does normalize it like as conversations happen you see it and you're
outraged by it but then after a while you stop being outraged because you're just used to it
like it doesn't feel like a different temperature anymore yeah it's true and also there's just so much stuff
that you can make like a dude like like i didn't feel like for fighters like a guy's wife cheats
on him like yeah you can get on him about that but like they do it's fucked up but like i'm like
but like some of those are just wait like there's so much you can talk shit about like why are you
picking you're just picking out like tragedies it's from people's lives this feels so weird yeah it's funny that one of the guys who talks the most shit he got
shit talked back to him then he ended up fighting a guy in the audience he was talking shit to him
and everyone's like well dude you talk shit so that's like what it's like at our core none of
us want to be attacked like that even the toughest dudes they get pretty sensitive when it comes back on them chat who's your babe of the week um dude my baby of the week is the holiday season i'm loving it
yeah i've been trying to really soak in the holiday season you know because a lot of times
it'll be december and i love the holidays and it'll be kind of you know it'll pass me by and
i'll be like man i didn't really like soak in
the holiday season I didn't get a gingerbread house
I didn't you know watch the right movies
I didn't like really appreciate this time
and I think I've done a pretty good job
at that this month
I think I've really kind of you know
savored the holidays
and
it feels good
and Aaron gave you a nice gift on today's draft so that's
great you know you're you're giving and receiving kidding did i zinged you no it's beautiful the
holiday season is great dude time for family time for love dude celebrating cheer it's in the air
my baby of the week's gotta be my fucking dank ass wife dude she i was busy working dude and i
was like oh we gotta find time to get a tree We gotta go get a tree
I come home
There's a tree
But guess what
Not decorated yet
She goes
I got the tree
Out of the way
Let's decorate it together
You know what we did dude
Fucking decorated
And did this
Smush
That was nice
That's nice
So that was a holiday treat
Hell yeah dude
That's awesome
Loved it
My baby's also my dank ass wife.
Let's go.
Gotta give her props for giving birth to a beautiful baby girl.
Congrats, by the way.
Thank you, man.
Is this your first time on since it happened?
Yeah.
Oh, dude.
That's huge.
She's the cutest little girl in the world.
Five weeks tomorrow.
Yeah, Becca was a beast about it.
It's been fun taking care of the kid, you know?
Fuck yeah. And she's just been beasting throughout the whole process plus she was sick as fuck the whole time so now she feels more like
herself which is sick good um and yeah dude looking forward to christmas it's gonna be fun
that'll be cute this year my baby of the week is is my bathtub
oh yeah
I spend a lot of time in there
I read
I scroll the phone
I decompress
there's something comfy about it
it's cozy
I feel safe
I don't like a big bathtub
I like it when it's narrow
I like it when it's kind of womb-like
and yeah
I'll spend about an hour in there a day just soaking.
The shower baths, right?
Because I feel like this...
Oh, I start as a bath and then I transition to shower.
But like the thin ones, you know what I mean?
Where like it's a bathtub slash a shower.
Dual function.
That was the one that JT had in his room growing up.
So I feel like that's his comfort zone.
I just have such a clear picture of you relaxing in the bathtub because you would do it for hours upon hours oh yeah and i love
thinking about you mom used to worry i was gonna drown in there yeah fall asleep i did i come over
to your house to be like jt invited me over half an hour ago like we're ready to hang out he's like
he knows i'm here to come up he's like be a little bit of like a christopher hitchens book he'd be
like hold on dude let me finish this chapter real quick and just finish it in the bathtub.
Then I would just go in Chris's room and watch him
play fucking NCAA.
Good game. Great game. Yeah, I was pretty sick at it.
You were good at it, dude.
Chad, who's your legend of the week?
My legend of the week is my stepdad,
Jack. He passed
almost a couple weeks ago now.
So,
yeah, I just wanted know pay homage to him uh
yeah thinking of you very nice did he teach you how to drive he taught me how to drive
that's awesome he's been in my life uh since uh since i was in seventh grade i was i met him
they started dating um you know i was in seventh grade i I met him. They started dating.
I was in seventh grade.
I was in a beanbag chair, and he came in.
I was in my beanbag chair watching MTV, and I met him.
So he's been in my life a while.
That's a long time, man.
Sorry to hear that.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
He was sick for a while, so it was like we kind of saw it coming.
But it was, yeah. Rest in peace jack yeah strides my
legends of the week is uh my fucking bros dude posting up on the pod congrats to another year
is this the last episode of the year might be the last episode ever you're right yeah you're
transitioning you know and a year is an end but it is also a new beginning so to seeing what happens
um
fucking fired up
on my bros dude
yeah but even if you do
end the pod
we gotta do one more draft
I can't get last
or you know
it maybe makes sense
that I just get last
always
you'll just get last
in the next one
Chris you're right
you're so fucking right
we should definitely
do another one
I ain't changing anything
at the drawing board
I'm just fucking
taking swings baby
but above my bros dude
and you Aaron
and I love you.
Dude, I still laugh about the Babe Ruth pick.
It's the worst pick of my life.
This guy will eat a porterhouse.
Well, we went through old drafts when we were in Denver.
And, like, dude, there's been, I mean, I've had some,
I picked charcuterie board for best apps.
Like, there's rough picks in there.
Oh, yeah.
We all have our duds.
Yeah, we were laughing
just like these are some terrible picks yeah yeah that that that's what makes the draft it is it is
sometimes you fuck up bad but dude i love that we all share the feeling dude when you have something
that you think's gonna be a banger we were like that for me that was legally blonde legally blonde
and then both you guys go not a rom-com i was like wait what It hurts I was like googling It says romantic and comedy
You go yeah
It has both those
I love Legally Blonde
It's a great movie
It's a great movie
It's tough
If it was best legal movies
Or best
Awakening to oneself movies
Be there
Yeah that's a
Competitive category
That's interesting Yeah Eat pray love fall asleep in that
movie um chris read the book after breakup yeah oh whoa yeah i was like i need to go to spain
no italy sorry same death i need to come visit shira and Gerard Piquet. Dude, exactly, bro. Gerard. Dude, Gerard Piquet.
I know exactly what he looks like.
Nope.
He's got great facial hair.
He's probably hot.
He's hot.
He's really hot.
Thank you.
He's like 6'5", too.
Let's fucking go.
He's a soccer player?
That's like seven feet.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
He's a giant out there.
Dude, my life...
JT and I went on a FIFA run last week. run last week i came over i didn't know you were
baked dude i was a little i got baked i ate an edible too so we're we're vibing it was so sick
i'm the big bro i can't say i'm high yeah true i just you can just tell because i'm more fun
and we're just and we were just pinging the ball around and then it kind of led not too long after
we ended up going on an epic cod run and like feeling, I'm loving where my gaming is at right now.
The new FIFA is cool.
It's the best.
It's really, really good.
EAFC.
COD's better.
I'm happy about that.
It's good.
Yeah.
I've heard that.
I need to get back in the game.
Dude, so I'm just like, and we had some, we had a magical run in FIFA, and then we
had, and then us and two other dudes, we went on a magical run on Trevor's birthday with
Trevor, with Joe.
We went on a magical run in COD.
A lot of, plenty of firsts, a lot of seconds.
We were just grinding, doing whatever it took, getting late in games, dude, and it was fucking
awesome.
That's electric, dude. That's electric. Dude, that FIFA run, we were, Getting laid in games, dude. And it was fucking awesome. That's electric, dude.
That's electric.
Dude, that fee front,
because we were together, too.
It wasn't over comms.
But he came over.
And dude, every goal was just us tapping it in
because the passing was so good.
We were just breaking people down.
And then it was just,
just a little,
just passing it into the bottom right of the goal
was 95% of our goals.
And we never took our foot off the gas.
I mean, we were slamming people 8-0.
And I think we won like seven or eight in a row.
It was fucking magic, dude.
It was pretty awesome.
You almost didn't want to, it was like just in the air.
Dude, my legend of the week is Blair Saki.
She's a comedian friend of mine.
For my money, one of the funniest comedians I've ever met.
She's been a huge inspiration to me creatively and personally.
And I'm so proud of her. She's got a new special live me creatively and personally. And I'm so proud of her.
She's got a new special live from the big dog.
You can check it out on Veep.
And yeah,
it's her first special.
First of many,
I'm sure.
And she's from OC,
grew up with Strider.
They've known each other since they were born.
And yeah,
she brings that OC energy,
but she's got a cool perspective and totally unique.
So check it out.
Yeah.
She's hilarious,
dude.
She,
I did an Irvine improv with her like maybe a year ago when she's probably working some material and super fucking funny
yeah she's a crusher hell yeah congrats should we answer one cue before we go that the people
are calling for absolutely dude we're doing a quote or no it's like yeah you can do a quote
if you got one ready go it had rocked him to his very core and only pure will and pride had kept
him from spilling in his pants again
oh is that from your book
yeah that's a good one
I gotta read that hey this is a long one
oh
baby
hey dudes big thanks for everything you do and all the laughs
I've been a listener since episode 6 or 7
long time and forever stoker
in a nutshell I recently broke up with my girlfriend
of 3 and a half years a few months ago i got super vulnerable with her about how i
felt how she interacted with one of my friends i have trust issues from being cheated on in my
first serious relation and literally within a week later we were all at a getaway partying and having
fun i went to bed early because i was driving us home the next morning i couldn't sleep and left
the tent to say go to say good night once more and I walked down and she was topless in the hot tub
with some other people we partially knew
who were all skinny dipping.
That definitely hurt already
as it made me super uncomfortable
and feel super shitty inside.
Anyway, she had thought I left the scene
after I said goodnight.
But while I was still in earshot,
I heard her say to a friend
who was walking over to the hot tub,
Jordan, take your clothes off
and get in the hot tub with us.
She didn't know I heard and it shattered me.
I got super vulnerable with her
and tried to lay my truth on the line. And she did that a week later
and crushed me. Ultimately, I felt a month later that I had to exit the relationship because I just
couldn't respect myself fully if I swept it under the rug. We lived together during all this and
there was a month after initially breaking up where we were okay, trying to be respectful,
et cetera, planning how to move forward. I had a backpacking trip for work-related opportunities.
I'm a photographer and traveled for a month.
I used that time to gather myself and try to make sense of everything.
But ultimately, before I left it, I made it clear I needed to pull the plug,
at least for now.
I've never been so heartbroken.
Is his name Jordan?
I think she – no, I think that's her.
No, Jordan was a random – was a person that she invited into the hot tub.
Oh.
Well, yeah, Jordan's one of those
could go either way.
Could have been a chick, could have been a dude,
but I imagine it was a dude.
I guess...
So then she didn't really feel bad
and she's moved on very quickly.
And it seems...
And she's dating and that sucks. but she told him well hey look you
broke up with me and then uh he i moved from where we were living together san francisco to la for
some career opportunities west hollywood this past month we'd considered moving here together
but once we had broken up she was gone it just became the only option that made sense for me i
couldn't stay in the apartment we shared it was too painful i'm grieving like i never have in my
life i truly love this girl but she played around with my heart so much by the end of it it destroyed that made sense for me. I couldn't stay in the apartment we shared. It was too painful. I'm grieving like I never have in my life.
I truly love this girl,
but she played around with my heart so much.
By the end of it, it destroyed me.
Now I'm in a new place
with no real tight friends here to vent to
besides phone calls,
and I'm broken and really don't know what to do.
Sorry for such a long queue,
but I'm feeling quite lost,
and I would appreciate any advice you guys could offer.
Love you guys forever.
Have seen your stand-up twice
and really hoping to run into y'all sometime
in LA.
Beast.
I think I feel for
what's his name?
I feel for Anonymous.
That's tough, man. But you know what? I think
the more I heard this story
the more I'm like this is for the best.
Obviously this isn't someone you want to be with longterm and it hurts right
now,
but I think you'll come to appreciate this in due time.
And I think this will lead you to someone way better who you can have a more
solid trusting relationship with.
So I'd say hang in there,
get back out there,
live life,
do some photography.
Yeah.
You know, just kick it with
the boys go meet some people and uh you'll bounce back on your feet better than ever you said it
right like a photographer look like a picture you're stuck in a moment and you can't get out
of it it's like baby keep moving on you got there's more future the future awaits my bro
don't live in the
past it's gonna hurt but guess what dude failure if you call it a little failure that's also
experience it's gonna make you stronger dude you've matured because of this dude you'll know
what you're looking for and what you're not and that's it sounds like she didn't give him much
in the breakup talk you know maybe he's longing for some closure but it might not be in the cards which that sucks man
it's tough now you're in a new city don't be afraid to you know get out of town and go meet
up with some of the boys um you know because like yeah what would he want in that closure
conversation to be like why did you not love me more well i guess it was like i mean how did the
breakup go is she just like okay whatever i think she was probably? Well, I guess it was like, I mean, how did the breakup go? Was she just like, okay, whatever?
I think she was probably like, oh, no.
And then he was like, no, it's over.
And then she was like, all right.
Right.
Yeah.
So I guess, I mean, it had to happen.
It's the right move.
Like Chad said, it's the right move.
If that's what she was giving you at the end, that's not cool behavior.
You were uncomfortable with stuff and she didn't care.
So, like, good riddance
um but yeah man just try and do your best to meet people but like i said don't be afraid to travel
to hang out with friends because um you know keep yourself busy yeah and you can i think that's a
great advice for this guy especially because he's a photographer he's out probably buying i imagine
him being a nature photographer i don't know maybe he does events but i imagine he's in his dome a
lot and thinks a lot.
He seems like a big thinker,
especially the length of his email.
He's feeling things.
There's a huge weight to his feelings.
Yes.
I'd be like,
find a way.
You're feeling stuff thoroughly.
Maybe take a break from your,
those emotions.
I was going to say,
I think,
look,
a good way to recover from an ass kicking is to like,
go be dumb.
Like,
don't be too smart and thoughtful or try to be too right about everything you do like that i would go out there and be a little dumb and a
little reckless because that's also what kind of shot you into this thing was her being that way
and i think uh you know maybe don't don't treat people that way but like maybe you know try on
those shoes for a little bit and and yeah i wouldn't i wouldn't be too critical i would i would be dumb
and i would have as much fun as possible and i would channel that sadness into energy
fuck yeah i like that a lot that's smart to do it that way yeah and look it's it's
she was not the one for him yeah and look it's a long relationship, so you're going to be sad about it. Three and a half years.
There's no way to escape that.
That stuff was probably happening the whole time, too.
What a relief to be out of the ring with this person who's kicking your butt.
Yeah, look at the bright side of some of it.
You know what I mean?
And he'll probably end up hurting somebody else at some point, too.
It's like, you know, it's not really bad guys and good guys.
It's just what's the dynamic.
Yeah. He'll bounce back. He he'll be fine he's a photographer yeah he's a cool yeah you know
it's funny whenever we see these people in person too like sometimes they'll come up i'm like oh
you're like a really cool competent capable person yeah but it's beautiful that that anybody feels
things yeah and it and if life were just one long smooth ride it'd be boring true you got it
you got it you got it you know you got to get some flat tires along the way and yeah you know
crank that tire back in rebuild and i went yeah you gotta crank and not take it too seriously
just laugh at it because it's like yeah yeah just laugh at it we're small inconsequential
little minute idiots yeah yeah you Yeah, you guys are.
The world could just piss on us,
and there's nothing we can do about it.
Yeah, I mean, it is.
I love getting pissed off.
To think about death is, like,
I think a really freeing activity.
Because if you think, oh, I'm going to die someday,
then you're sort of like, oh, well, then why am I mopey today?
And trying to make it happen the way
you want it to happen like think about the smartest person you know aren't they kind of an idiot
yeah yeah you can't control everything dude can't control everything bro you certainly can't control
this lady no you know yeah she's she's gonna meet a guy who's like
she pulls out her boobs and he pulls out his dick and he's got a big dick yeah
yeah think about that put that in this no oh well no i'm saying he could do, and he's got a big dick. Yeah. Yeah. Think about that.
Put that in this.
Oh, well, no, I'm saying he could do that, too.
He's just not the kind of person who enjoys that experience.
No, he has a huge dick, and it's beautiful,
but he would rather keep it in his own tent.
Yeah.
Correct.
What are we talking about?
I got spaced out when he said big dick.
We're using pulling out penis as a metaphor
for stepping out of one's own inhibitors.
Do you think she wanted to pull
the cans out because she was a little bored it could have just been like she was partying she's
fucked up and partying and other people are skinny dipping it's just like it's the response to him
being like i was uncomfortable with that that was the red flag i don't think the skinny dipping was
the red flag do you think also though him being like hey i don't like the way you're acting she's
like oh well i'm already guilty of a crime i didn't commit, so now I'm just going to double jeopardy it.
Oh.
Maybe.
I don't know.
Sometimes I think our worries manifest our reality.
Yeah.
I think it can.
Yeah.
Or like you end up, you know, making the thing happen because, yeah, exactly as you said, you make it happen because you're worried about it.
Mm-hmm.
But I don't know.
I don't know enough about the sitch.
I thought his name was Jordan.
I thought she was like, hey, Jordan, take your clothes off.
And then he's like, I can't respect myself in that moment.
And I was going to be like, calm down, dude.
But I think if Jordan's another dude, then I can get being upset about that.
No, it is.
It is another dude.
Okay, it is.
Okay, good, good, good.
I just imagined it was like another chick. Jordan's a quarterback, dude. Okay, it is. Okay, good, good, good. I just imagined it was like another chick.
Jordan's a quarterback, dude.
Right.
He's got a freaking hand.
Jordan's a good photographer.
If it was another chick.
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, keep going.
I'm just saying, I don't think he would have written an email.
We're all ears.
She was in a hot tub naked with all chicks.
Yeah, and she begged one of the other girls to get naked.
I don't think he would have written those.
She's like, what's with this girl dude he's like how do
i get her to continue this yeah i think the laptop would have stayed shut tough though tough going
into the new year single but you know what i'd go to a club i'd get drunk i'd throw down way too
much cash yeah and i'd kiss someone yeah yeah Are you guys gonna Do you guys
Is it gonna stay up for New Year's?
Yeah
I work
I work during the day
So I'll be tired as fuck at night
But I'll be up at midnight baby
I'm usually up at midnight anyway
I'll be up
I don't know
Probably dude
I like that
You guys got some little ones dude
So you're gonna to be up.
You'll be up at 3am.
Right.
That'd be nice.
Hey,
babe,
it's two 30.
Happy New Year.
Happy New Year.
Exactly.
I don't know.
I don't really have any,
can't really do shit yet.
So I don't have any big years though.
No,
it's always overrated.
You know what it is?
It's amateur hour out there.
Everyone's out there,
you know,
doing it.
Just party with your boys. We just got to get back to house parties. That's what I think. It's a house out there Everyone's out there You know doing Just party with your boys
We just gotta get back
To house parties
That's what I'm saying
It's a house party
We need to get back
To house parties
But who's gonna host
That's what we need
We need a host
We need someone with
Alright maybe next year
We need our boy Danny
To host with his Vegas backyard
Oh yeah
My buddy dude
My baby of the week
My legend of the week
Is Danny's backyard
I haven't like seen it
In person
And I keep being like
I gotta get down there I gotta do it I've heard about it Oh person, and I keep being like, I got to get down there.
I got to do it.
I've heard about it.
Oh, yeah.
He sends photos all the time because he's like,
guys, how sick is this one?
Yeah, it is sick.
And he's like, well, then come over.
And we're like, yeah, we will.
Is this Babona?
Yeah.
He's a Vegas fan.
If you're a young buckaroo and you can throw a hit,
UCI baseball, that's where you should go.
That's right.
When you look backwards,
how many of your New Years have been successful?
As in making eye contact with you and tom hole that's a success one and it was so fucking sick what happened um house party dude mom and dad's dude it's like oh that one that one that one was
good that was a big one I mean what happened dude
Half
Like most of the dudes
Hooked up with chicks
Including myself
That's my virginity
So like
Oh no no no
Wait sorry
Second time I ever have sex
Nice
I met
I met Kennedy
My girlfriend
New Year's Day
Oh love that
Yeah
So like
Yeah that was
That was
My parents were having
A New Year's party
We couldn't find anywhere to party I was a senior were having a new year's party we couldn't find
anywhere to party i was a senior he was a sophomore no i'm talking about a different
one i'm talking about when i was a freshman in college oh but that one senior year of high
school i wasn't you and me got into a fist fight earlier that day i went to go work out at the gym
and i had to just sit on a bench and ice my head yeah i sat in the shower i because he didn't thank
me for a haircut. Enough. Enough.
I did thank him for the haircut.
He said I wasn't thankful.
It was a matter of degree, not if I did it. You're amazing, bro.
I had a good line.
He goes, oh, you're so tough.
I go, stand up.
I'll show you how tough you are.
And then he came up and just rocked me.
He won.
It sucks.
But it was a good fight.
But that night, my parents were having a party.
We couldn't find a place to party, so we all partied with my parents.
It was half young, half old.
Yeah.
I wasn't there.
It was a-
I had different New Year's plans.
That was a great night.
A lot of the dudes kissed moms that night.
Yeah, dude.
Ooh.
Yeah.
Dude, that's awesome.
It was the coolest.
It was weird.
I saw Ferraro walk up to a close personal friend of my father, his wife, and Ferraro.
It wasn't over the line, but he gave her a little.
She wasn't expecting it, but it was like, boom.
You're amazing, bro.
Dude, cougars are in.
Cougars are hot now.
Never left.
Gilf was the number one search on Pornhub.
Really?
Really.
Grandma?
Yeah.
Wow.
He always circles back.
Is it because in porn MILFs are like 30
so are GILFs like 45 in porn?
And it's nice because it's a market that can, you know,
their career can be extended a little bit here.
I've searched GILF and sometimes I'm like,
that's a GILF.
Right, right.
This person's legit.
Whoa, dude.
I wonder a lot of it if it's just like,
if it's like the women that
people our age
were like
in high school
were looking at
MILF porn
now that they've
everybody's aged
20 years
and so you just keep
cranking to the same lady
you know what I mean
but she just ages up
and again
there's probably a lot
of girl stuff
for the like
55s
what was your number one
porn search of the year
my number one search?
Probably anal cream pie.
Nice.
Yeah.
Mine was kissing.
It just doesn't happen a lot.
Whoa.
It's so hard to find.
It seems they're more into each other if that's the case.
Yeah.
What about you guys?
Sometimes actors won't do that.
Double cream pie.
What's that?
Us two dudes cream pieing in one butt.
Yeah.
It's twice the cream pie. Yeah. Imagine one cream pie, two dudes cream pieing in one butt yeah it's twice it's twice the cream pie
yeah
imagine one cream pie
one more cream pie
you know I've been
double it
double it baby
I've been
do you have a favorite
in double it
I've been limiting myself
yeah dude don't
hey Utah make it two
don't
two
two
what's your
dude I love it
what's my number one
probably kissing
kissing
whoa the par bros.
You guys love intimacy, dude.
Do you guys have a New Year's resolution?
We can end with that.
I'm doing a...
This is just an activity I'm doing.
I'm doing a three-day water fast.
Water fast?
So no water for three days?
No, I drink just water.
Kidding.
Intellectually.
I'm fucking with you, dude.
You die, dude.
You got me, dude.
Dude, that's fucking sick. I'm going. I know, I know. I'm fucking with you, dude. You die, dude. You got me, dude. Dude, that's fucking sick.
I'm going to do,
I want to ask for my dank-ass wife
to get like a ruck vest,
like a weight vest,
and I want to walk in that
around the Silver Lake
and then get up to jogging in it.
These are interesting resolutions.
They're more like
just workouts you guys are going to do.
Yeah, I want to do workouts yeah
i guess yeah i'm just resetting it dude that's very masculine getting a six-pack yeah i saw
dana white's post i was like he's looking good at this i genuinely don't uh i don't know yeah
i never really think what's something good that i can like myself in? I don't know. Be good about going to the doctor.
Get a physical.
That's a good one.
I haven't been to the doctor in a couple years.
Be on top of it.
That's a good one.
Because I don't really do any checkups.
I feel like I got dentistry out of the way a year and a half ago.
Started doing that again.
After a 10-year hiatus, I should probably do the other stuff too.
Yeah.
Check the pipes.
You're nothing without your health.
I think I'm going to genuinely just keep it light.
I like that.
Nice.
Just life.
Light.
Your attitude?
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
No, that's a good one.
I like that.
What about you, Aaron?
You know, the usual stuff.
Eat less, work out more, all that stuff.
Yeah, I should probably do that too
it's been a good year guys
see you guys in the new year
fuck yeah let's go
stokers thank you for watching
um
yeah
good draft Aaron thank you for boosting
my stats I probably didn't
deserve it
I appreciate Good draft. Aaron, thank you for boosting my stats. I probably didn't deserve it.
I appreciate it.
You guys judge one of these one time.
It's tough.
Good job, Chad.
I'm doing a lot over here.
All right.
Late.
Late.
See you guys. See you guys if you need advice
these guys
are really nice
you wanna know
what to do
where to go
when you need
someone to guide you
just a half
beside you
go go go to God you such a half bird beside you go
free
go
free
let's
go
free
oh
go
free
go
free
go
free
go
free
go
free
go
free
go
free
go
free
go
free