Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 324 - Will Angus & Liam Cullagh
Episode Date: January 10, 2024Today we are joined by the Legends from Fridays Beers. Will and Liam have their own pod together called the "Almost Friday" Pod and we were recently guests on their show and decided this would be a gr...eat crossover ep!We talk calls from a few bros who needed relationship advice and ended with a hot steamy call from New Jersey! Check out Almost Friday Pod here:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCB4Gq67RvgOgAAAOrS6FqwA Grab some NEW dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! FLORDIA UP NEXT - TIX HERE:http://www.chadandjt.com Call us, leave a 60 sec voicemail with your issue or question: 323-418-2019or write in to chadgoesdeeppodccast(at)gmail.com(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/
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well let's freaking syrup my ass and slap it silly because what up stokers of stoke nation
this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep with chad jt podcast i'm here with my compadre
jean thomas what up boom clap stokers and we're
here with the freaking legends will and liam from friday beers you have an angus or will mostly
will's good yeah well it's good great liam cola yeah yeah thank you guys for having us yeah thank
you for having us those aren't stage names at all no no stage names um just the name i was given
my christian name i'm honoring god with every step of my life so beautiful my christian name No stage names. Just the name I was given. My Christian name.
I'm honoring God with every step of my life.
Beautiful.
My Christian name is Malachi.
That's my confirmation name. Is it actually?
Patron Saint of Shenanigans.
Get out.
There's a patron saint of shenanigans?
Yeah.
So technically, my name is Liam Michael Malachi Kala.
Wow.
In the eyes of God.
Do you remember any of the things that Malachi got up to?
No. I only picked it because i just watched uh children of the corn and malachi kind of looks like me from that movie he's like a really just off-looking ginger guy
so i chose malachi malachi you can't really pants a fryer you have to pull up
the tunic yeah dude you should uh if you get really into acting you
should become malachi pfeiffer that would be sick yeah that's a good name dude it's like somewhat
of an homage to mckay pfeiffer yeah if you're like a fucking beast uh if you're hosting a rap battle
i just wanted to say malachi pfeiffer that's all if i really get into acting my middle name's
holgate uh-huh so i'm gonna go william holgate agus one of those pretentious names yeah where
is he talking about where does holgate come from no idea i really don't know my also my older
brother and older sister have unique middle names but me and my younger sister share
a middle name so i don't know my parents just got lazy and they gave up my brother's middle
name's hampton that feels like adjacent to holgate yeah they're close i don't even know
hampton though i feel like you could track the lineage holgate feels like
made up to where my brother was made there you go a hampton inn i could see holgate in like the crown yeah holgate manna officer holgate officer lord
holgate your grace you are under attack for the mistakes you have made your name's john thomas
john tom but my parents so my mom's
colombian so they treated both names like one name so they called me john thomas growing up
and they said my first name was john thomas and that i didn't have a middle name but on my birth
certificate says my middle name's thomas but and they got really disappointed when people started
calling me john and that's where that's why people start calling me jt because my parents were okay
with that that's my grandfather's name john thomas really yeah well he's dead and i did a uh i lived in costa rica for a little bit
and i lived with british guys and they said that in england they call their penises they're john
thomas really oh wow i had no idea that's awesome and i was 19 and they're like yeah hey we call
a dicks or john thomas and i was like that's sick i was like i'm on all of your bodies people used to call me wangus in high school or in middle
school will angus and i thought it was the coolest nickname ever and then one kid transferred to our
school and he found out my nickname and he told me like dude you know what a wang is and i was like
no and he's like, it means dick.
And that like, turned my world upside down.
And just like on,
like flip of a switch,
people will call me wangus.
And I'd be like,
don't call me that.
Wow.
That's over.
People would have no idea that I was going through something.
I'd be like,
it's Will now.
Wow.
No more.
It's tough with names,
man.
Cause you can't control it.
Yeah.
It's like,
it's like how we try to force people to be more polite but the world's like we want to be rude
do you guys remember in middle school like i remember middle school when i'd hear
people were talking shit about you i remember i was talking to my buddy peter and he's like
you know ariel was talking shit and i was like really that was devastating yeah especially if
you or you know sometimes someone would throw it in your
face they'd be like you're annoying that way that's what greg said and then you just get you
just sink into yourself dude when you like a whole clique of girls they're like they were talking
shit about you and you're like fuck i thought i had a chance well because then you go there's no
way it was just greg yeah greg is just the first i'm hearing yeah getting hit with the nobody likes
you in an argument that was devastating at a certain point but it's it's not nobody likes
you it's that's why nobody likes you yeah you lead with that that's why game over yeah damn
especially if it was you being nice yeah when i was in middle school that was early stages of
cyber bullying so you really gmail buzz
little chat room for the whole grade you really got to know where you stood whoa yeah i i got
naked at a high school party and got drunk and i guess these douches took photos of me and posted
them on myspace and people were like hey have you seen the myspace if you like naked at that party i
go nope and i'm never gonna look at it and i never ever looked at it so in my head it didn't exist
dude you know what i've been thinking about non-stop is that have you seen that uh video
of a guy jumping into the bass pro fish tank naked no and his penis is so small it went viral
because his dick is so small yeah we can bring up clips now oh dude yeah you're gonna pull up
small dick at bass pro shop is this oh it's already been
searched this is wow oh he's got a real little dick it looks like he's got a pussy
that looks like a pussy i'm gonna bang that guy that's what everyone's been saying they've been
saying big garrulous smile and that nice puss he says he says all right you can come and get me now
like kevin mccallister at in home alone he says he says all right you can come and get me now like
kevin mccallister at in home alone just he's going down whatever jail that guy went to he's king
do you know what's so funny is i saw another picture when they arrested him
they didn't even throw like a robe or a blanket on him he's just fully naked
nice dude someone said uh this is what greek statues would look like with an American diet.
Damn, that's crazy.
Have you seen the Bass Pro in Memphis?
Oh, my God.
Is that a temple one?
Whoa.
Yeah, that's the one.
But look at how confident he is.
That's a man.
That's how you own your body.
Yeah.
Dude, I can't tell if that's his wang or a nut.
He's got nice tits, too.
He does.
Dude, I think. There's so many different ways to fuck this guy yeah it looks like either that's his wang or just a nut
maybe his wang is sucked into his belly also uh yeah it doesn't help the cold yeah he's got that
extra multiplier on there that guy pees on his balls every single time he takes a piss yeah
sprays every time he's got 40 dick holes dude can i tell you guys something so i had this embarrassing thing happen
i'm so addicted to my phone you know just always looking at it i was at the gym this is holiday
season i was at the gym headphones in noise canceling and i was just taking a piss watching
you know just looking at twitter or something and i was just pissing just looking at my phone
watching like a video and then i like point shorts up and i turn around there's like a sink of guys they're
all just staring at me i'm like what are you guys staring at and then i walk i look and there's just
piss all over my shorts and i look and there's piss all over the floor next to the urinal so i
not only did i piss all over my shorts but i guess i was pissing on the floor and then all these guys were just watching me and i had my headphones in
just just pissing on the floor just looking at my phone i was like oh fuck i have to do something
about was it just to be badass yeah i uh i just i wanted to make a you know it's equinox you have
to let yourself be known a lot of bit sony right there, so you know there's a lot of directors.
I'm like, I'm trying to get a part.
That guy appeases himself.
Power play. Marking your territory in there.
Yeah, you got to. Equinox?
I've been there, though.
I've been taking a piss and didn't know I was having a two-stream piss.
Yeah.
So I'm just focused on the top one.
And then I look down.
Again, same thing just i just fully
pissed myself this happened for a show once where i went i went to the bathroom
and i don't know what was going on but i peed and then uh just pulled my pants back up and
for whatever reason took a step and i just more piss came out of my penis. And I was like, oh, okay.
That's, I looked down.
There's a little spot.
I'm like, I'm fine.
Walk over to the mirror, look in the mirror. It had gone.
And I'm up and I took a piss right before I was going on.
And so I'm just covered in piss.
And I just had to go on stage and fess up.
Your hose got bunched up.
Yeah, it was not good.
You told the audience?
I was like, this is piss. This is not. I was like, you like you guys should know it's gonna be hard for me to get into my material
because this is piss and this just happened and i'm wet right now audience that would have
connected me to you i would have been like this guy's a straight shooter yeah i'm like it's hard
for me to try to this is someone else's here's the thing i had two streams because i just busted a fat nut i had to jerk off four sets so
i've stopped jane off on days i'm performing really yeah because i just it diffuses my
performance power i think the boxing thing is true like it weakens you in the knees what's
the boxing thing fighters like don't bust like week of the fight oh wow because they say it
weakens their knees but then they've done like
sports science on and they're like no it doesn't but i do think there's something like
your your focus is just weaned a bit by it it does deplete you there especially when you
are aware of it then it really depletes you and i'm not anti-fap i'm very pro
fappy fap all day i think being depleted sometimes is what i need before i go on stage
right so sometimes i get a little bit too amped a little bit too of the uh i'm a bit of a jitterbug
you're loaded yeah so if i'm in the hotel before you know if any of you happen you're like this is
not i'm proud of this dude do you see the volume yeah that's all this isn't even done
like finding its way like this river is still expanding it's like emptying above ground pool
in my pants it's still going i think i agree with that though like i think it does something to you
it feels like there's this like rainy cloud following you around all day i don't know what
it is but it just you get
a flash of like oh just that monkey brain came out and overpowered my my civilized self yeah
it's also like what did i bust to probably has an impact on it like if it's you know if i'm
watching cuck stuff that's gonna be a little heavier throughout the day yeah whereas if i
just masturbate to nice thoughts in my head of you know a couple having sex with each other and it's slow and romantic that might i might feel better
afterwards did you guys watch the golden globes no i didn't i i was very glad though i saw that um
carpool karaoke lost finally someone took down the champ i think so right i don't know they were the
defense i think uh you know i think i think you should leave is what beat them yeah fuck yeah
which is like a huge win for that's awesome art over art
let's see okay a lot of photos too of just dudes with golden globes at in and out burger with their
golden globes like paul giamatti and uh
they're just regular guys they're just guys yeah that's just dude shit yeah yeah i've seen a lot
of those on yeah gmots he plays regular guys but i think his dad was like the president of
like i'm not trying to cast dispersions on nepotism or whatnot i believe in it i think
it's a good thing but gmats comes from premier blood yeah i mean that
last name that makes sense geomati geomati that's a strong bloodline yeah him and big fat liar
oscar worthy performance yeah he's blue for a chunk of it yeah that's not easy
it's a lot of day and a lot of your day in the chair
yeah i want to go see that new movie, Holdovers.
Dude, I'm 30 minutes in.
It's awesome.
Have you seen it?
Mm-mm.
It's about kids at boarding school.
I bet you'd relate to it a little bit.
Oh, I should see that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's about a kid who can't go home for Christmas.
Oh.
So he stays with Paul Giamatti, who's the principal, or the teacher.
Oh, yeah.
Jesus, he's looking two different directions.
Yeah, that does look like my school. Apparently, it it's amazing so i'm very excited to see it yeah interesting it's the
dialogue is like uh it feels real you know sometimes when people write like teenagers
talking to each other and you're like what the hell's going on here in this one when they're
like talking shit to each other you're like it brings you home you're like oh man you're like
back in high school that's cool yeah i will say is the one of the worst
trailers i've ever seen like i thought this was going to be terrible but the reviews are
amazing i didn't see the trailer was it just like cheesy or something yeah it looks like almost like
a disney channel original movie a decom if you will have you watched the maestro or l maestro
whatever it's called yeah we talked
about it last week i started it i've been starting and not finishing a lot of things i don't have
much patience i didn't like it that much yeah i was comparing it to oppenheimer where
you just couldn't help but laugh during oppenheimer because they just kept reminding
the audience that like he was getting so much pussy every time it got serious they'd be like he was
fucking someone same thing with maestro yeah we're like you're getting this really emotional thing
and then it's just him banging a young guy at a nightclub i'm like whoa i love that because that's
an old hollywood thing too like you watch old humphrey bogart movies and he'll just like go
into a shoe store and it's just a hot chick working there and she's like hey before you
solve the case how about i blow you and he's like sorry gal i'm in a hurry and part of you's like this is ridiculous but a
deeper party he's like sick chicks just get it when you're cool yeah it did feel like he was
trying to be too did you guys hear about joe coy's hosting i i uh what happened was it i heard about
it i i don't have the heart to watch it i don't want to
watch the first joke and i bailed i'm like i can't i can't do it i guess it didn't go well and he
kind of blamed the writers a little bit i saw that thing where he was like i didn't write that one or
something i was like yeah i was like i'm gonna do that on stage of my own shows and be like
fucking interns this isn't my piss yeah this is not my piss he also
brought up like and guys i only had like 10 days to write this come on yeah 10 days is a long
amount of time yeah to only do one writing thing for 20 minutes but dude there's like clips of like
taylor swift and like there's one shot of selena like he does a joke and it doesn't work and selena
gomez just goes like this no and it's so damning
well the new york post if you follow them on instagram when something like this happens they
love to go after him hard they'll be like well it just every instagram post will be like joe coy
bombs taylor swift hated this joke i saw the the taylor swift reaction where she well lack of a
reaction i guess yeah so I haven't seen it.
Should we put on headphones for this?
Oh, yeah, we should.
Good call.
We have these new components now on the pod.
We can watch clips.
We can take calls.
It's very exciting.
Jake is crushing it.
Big difference between the Golden Globes and the NFL.
On the Golden Globes, we have fewer camera shots of Taylor Swift.
I swear.
There's just more to go to.
Damn, dude.
Man, there's nothing more infuriating
than when you want to just get the raw footage
and there's someone that's cut themselves into it.
Yeah.
Or it's like a watch mojo,
someone narrating and there's like neat graphics.
I was thinking about this this morning at the gym.
Like, hosting that, I'm not good at roasting.
I think I would just compliment everyone.
I bet Kevin Costner, you're so hot.
You know, sorry about the divorce, but I heard you and Jewel are boning, so props on that.
Taylor Swift, you're America's sweetheart. Timothy Chalam chalamet props on the boning to all of them yeah props
guys you guys all bone a lot i can feel it it probably just feels better when you come versus
when i come honestly because like you're i just i don't know i'm guessing we can talk later about it
selena gomez looking hot timothy shama i'd probably bone you too
i think andy sandberg kind of did that with uh on the roast yeah was it bob saget's roast i forget
but uh i think it was bieber i think norm did it at saget's and then sandberg did it at the
bieber one i think that's what it was yeah yeah it's like aziz uh is from south carolina and his parents are whatever what's
it like to have a unique perspective on what it means to me be an american you bag of shit yeah
this is great roasting so hard right now yeah that's funny you guys ever seen the situations
roast of donald trump no from jersey show bad no oh it's great i mean like jeff ross has to get on stage and like tell him all right come
on guys he's trying he's trying it's the saddest it's it's very uncomfortable just watching him
just go oh for 10 is really really sad it's not funny it's just brutal no but everyone's laughing
because at a certain point it's so bad yeah that it's funny yeah so
it's like it's like completely pendulums the other way yeah and he's drowning during it
drowning he's losing composure as he's bombing he's not he's not like whatever oh no he's it
fully is affecting him yeah there's one part where he's like he's like talking to donald trump and
his roast is like is like uh yeah i was
fucking a model on a big pile of cash this morning legit and there's no like setup or punch line
and no one knows that they're that's where they're supposed to laugh
wait donald said that or situation he said that to donald trump it was situations roast of donald
trump honestly it might be worth it just to watch the end of was situations roast of donald trump honestly it
might be worth it just to watch the end of it yeah but i don't know let's do it but i know
you're a funny dude as well because the other night i told one of your super funny jokes to
a supermodel and she was laughing while i was banging her brains out with the pile of money
on the floor of my motherfucking mansion all right yep that was that was the one it's dude it's it's it's like the most
disconnected i've ever seen someone from reality yeah and you can tell that the writers he probably
had writers like helping him with jokes and he was like nah that's just not my style that's not
my brand i got it i bang chicks bro i gotta i gotta give them credit they've remained relevant
like through when when was jersey shore like 2010 uh yeah there's there's like a situation
polly d snooki they're still kind of they're still kicking polly d's killing me and my
girlfriend watched like the new season or relatively new one it might be from a couple
years ago but like they've all grown up a lot like they're all like except for ronnie i was gonna say yeah yeah what's he doing you don't hear about him he's a disaster
like he's like really still like drunk and partying and like in crazy relationships so
it's them like trying to kind of get him together he's kind of the thrust of the drama now yeah it's
it seems like he like it feels like he has CTE, genuinely.
Never played a sport.
It's like beach volleyball at Bayhead Beach in Jersey.
No, it feels like he has CTE from just, like,
smashing his head through, like, tables in the first season of Jersey Shore.
The doctor was like, hey, when you're mad,
you got to stop throwing your head into things.
He's like, doc, don't tell me that.
Doc, come on, there's got to be another way.
I'm going to get a second opinion. No offense, doc, don't tell me that. Doc, come on. There's got to be another way. I'm going to get a second opinion.
No offense, doc.
What the hell do you know?
Yeah, it's pretty sad.
Dude, I do remember the first season of Jersey Shore,
which was one of the greatest seasons of television ever,
because all the language, the people, and then the violence. Like like snooki that crazy dude at the bar
like they ended up cutting it out it's not in like aired versions anymore but you could but
the dude just cracks her and then ronnie gets so upset afterwards they're all just like up in their
testosterone and you don't see it but ronnie just runs up hits you and then he's bouncing away and
he goes that's one shot kid and they show the guy dead on the floor ronnie killed a guy
i was like dude this is good it's the best tv ever it's the best tv the funny thing is the
guy hits snooki gets arrested and taken to jail and then the the the guys of jersey shore start
walking around the boardwalk looking for him where is he at i'm like you guys know where he is like you saw him
get arrested and they're just steamed walking around that's like a tough city i have a friend
from boston he said after the uh the bombing he was at a bar and he heard a bunch of guys being
like we're gonna find this guy they started doing like lists of weirdos they're like do you think
it's tommy down at the donut place um that's hilarious you guys remember when reddit got a guy killed because of that bombing the
boston marathon bombing that's what you're talking about yeah yeah they went on a witch hunt and they
like got the wrong guy yeah and he like they they found him dead in a lake somewhere they beat the
shit out of him i don't no one knows who killed him but like it blew up on reddit and then everyone found him and then he died i think it's like
mystic rivers about that son of sam is about that you've seen the hunt with uh dude the vitterberg
movie or i'm missing his name but mads mickelson mads mickelson oh dude that movie's fucking
amazing i look do me and my boys were stoned like on a wednesday and we're like hey should we go see
the hunt we didn't look up the synopsis we just saw the consensus on Ron tomato goes the hunt asked difficult questions and has the courage to answer them
We're like we're seeing that that is the least Wow
Not a good description, dude, yeah, I guess should we say the synopsis
It's about a dude who gets accused of molestation and like a small like yeah
Weejun town and it's just about everyone
turning on him and mads mickelson's like perfect as like the conflict it's really good dude it's
like some of the best acting i've ever seen strider does the most the best impression of
mads's best friend with the really deep voices like oh god i gotta get him to do it but it's so
funny that's sick that guy's a good director right he did like
a celebration and stuff is he the same guy that did uh wait who's the director this uh thomas
vinterberg i think is oh he did on thomas vinterberg wow yeah he's really good he's like
a dogma 99 he rips did he do um one more round is that the same yeah or another round yeah he did
another round that's a great one too we did a metallica music video and far from the madding i fucking love that
that's a resume dude yeah yeah this guy's living the life man did a blur music video
i watched a metallica music video last night you remember the music video one
is that the devil one no it's the one where they cut in footage from uh johnny got his gun
it's the uh yeah never mind should we watch it uh it's the one where they cut in footage from uh johnny got his gun it's the uh yeah
never mind should we watch it uh it's like 12 minutes long you know how metallica songs are
yeah dude there's one more roast thing we don't have to watch it but have you seen the thing where
it's shaq's roast and this comic goes up and jamie fox i think ruins his career i think oh i heard
about this yeah i think he soon after quit comedy i think he- Oh, I heard about this. Yeah. I think he soon after quit comedy.
I think that guy quit.
You tell me about this.
Yeah, I've watched it.
Dude, Michael Irvin was in that video
and he's such a badass.
Like he stabbed his teammate in the neck with scissors.
What?
Cause a rookie cut him in line for a team haircut.
And one of the O-linemen has a quote
that like starts the Cowboys book where they're like,
there's a lot of things you can do in this life but one of them you can't is stab your teammate
in the neck with scissors and then they they bought a house where they would just run girls
through and do drugs the white house and then they had a like a basketball team that they would play
like in fundraiser games for and that was just an excuse to get on a private jet do drugs and sleep
with women and there was another guy who was captain of the basketball team so michael irvin fought him to be captain beat him up and took over
because i guess michael irvin was like one of his gifts amongst you among many is that he's like
really good at coordinating parties so he would direct the orgies when they were on the private
jet and like his teammates were like he had a real gift oh yeah physical arrangement he was a massive coke head too that's why they called it the white
house isn't that crazy that there's like athletes who can because like we focus so much on our
health and like it's such a marginal gain but he could be doing coke all the time and just destroying
everybody i don't think i don't think white guys can
do that though no it always ruins it there's this there's a family kid he's got to work for it huh
yeah he's got to work for it yeah mcafee's all about drinking milk at night and stuff
yeah this uh there's like a family that lives in the white house now
and because i'm from dallas like there is it this isn't just like a normal neighborhood
do you think you could write like a funny ghost movie about the white house
but the ghosts are just like hilarious ex-nfl players you're like where are the whores
it'd be a good like documentary now or 30 for 30 style dude i think documentary now might be the
funniest thing i've watched like
because i only recently caught up on it and it kills me it's so funny have you seen how they
throw rocks no oh the newest season it's so funny it's one of the best ones is that from the the
scars guard season two yeah that one i saw that one that one's amazing yeah that one's awesome
who's in the rocks one i don't know he's a great actor but i don't i
didn't know who it was there's a there's a some a-list actors in it that i i don't know their
name i think they're older guys yeah was it nicholas braun or was he in the scars guard one
braun was in scars guard one it's it's one of my it's probably my favorite one you gotta watch it
i gotta check it out so funny how they threw rocks check it out it is so fucking funny the uh the cult one with
ellen wilson oh so funny well it's almost like that get up on he's just like this he looks
perfect yeah oh they spoofed uh octopus teacher in this season amazing which one was it dude it's
the guy that uh just tries to talk teach a monkey oh yeah he's just
like dumping his money into doing this thing that's just not working and it's like i feel
like this is the type of show i would want to write for if i could you know what i mean like
this is like exactly the kind of stuff i want to do it's so specific they don't force it too
much with jokes like they really let it just be part of the details it's yeah yeah i i i giggle away that i don't giggle to like anything
else when i watch it yeah it's so good like stuff that's not funny is funny because they
they make it feel real yeah it's very cool have you ever seen the uh documentary about
the coney island hot dog eating contest. It feels like a documentary now episode.
Really?
There's just so many things like the carnival barker that runs in,
hosts it is,
is just, just Bill Hader.
He's just a Bill Hader character.
And then they go to Tony,
what's his name?
Joey Chestnut.
And it's like training day,
Joey Chestnut.
It's him in his apartment like this,
but no furniture really.
And he's just housing hot dogs.
And his best friend is holding a bug or a bush light.
And he's going,
come on,
Joey,
come on,
man.
And then they cut to him.
He's like,
we're in a wife beater.
He's like,
yeah,
I've helped him get here.
And it's just so fucking funny.
Dude,
chestnut.
Did he took down Kobayashi,
right?
Yeah.
Kobayashi cries.
Yeah. He has a posh spice haircut and cries about how mean americans were to him because he showed up and we were like this
is the villain this is yeah we just did a bunch of propaganda about him well didn't they love
kobayashi and then they turned on him when we were like now we have our own we have our homegrown guy
exactly and then he cried because he felt like we loved him and now we hated him but he felt like how mercurial celebrity culture is
he's crying and just keeps being like well he was unstoppable dude like kobayashi was like
mike tyson dominant and then i never thought he would go down what's chestnut just came out of
nowhere what does chestnut do the rest of the
year does he have a normal job is he in like sales he probably doesn't have to work at all
he probably just has sponsorships sponsorships yeah he's making yeah can we look up joey chestnut's
net worth i bet it's i bet it's uh 1.5 million dollars i'm gonna say five
four four four wow but they don't know yeah these things they don't know he could be in a Let's say five. Four. Four? Four? Wow.
But they don't know.
Yeah, these things are...
They don't know.
He could be in a...
Dude, he's 6'1", 230?
Oh, hell yeah.
Oh, he's built like a middle linebacker.
Yeah, dude.
Rusty's net worth is listed as like...
Rusty Featherstone, you guys.
Yeah.
Hilarious.
It's like his net worth is listed as like three million.
It's something...
It's something of size.
I know for sure that dude is like counting his pennies make sure he
yeah it says one to five right there one to five million who is rusty that's hilarious that's a
big spread funny should we get into some uh calls jake let's do it this feels so intimate
with the headphones on yeah oh it's ringing hello yo uh this is Chad JT what's up boys what's up dog we're here with Will and Liam
from Friday Beers what's up brother what's up dude what's going on just chilling man how are you
I'm good I'm a little down on my luck, you know.
What happened?
Dude, my profession, bro.
Like, not what I thought it was going to be, you know.
What's your profession?
Well, I was waiting tables for a while, and now I'm just, like, trying to make balloon animals.
And it's a lot harder than I thought.
Damn.
How did you get into balloon animaling?
Oh, well, you make one balloon animal,
then I guess when you make another one,
I guess you're just kind of in balloon animaling.
You know, everyone just do one balloon animal,
now you're the balloon animal guy. It is a slippery slope, yeah.
But are you sincerely trying to do balloon animaling?
For this phone call i definitely am next call
we get we get a lot of those
no like if it was real i love it yeah wait could i could i pee real quick yeah go baby
i always do this come back with it on the pan while you go on your pants make a statement
while he's doing that have you guys seen king of kong no yes okay amazing that is like you got to
watch it if you like documentary now it feels like if documentary now could make a perfect
episode it would be king of kong what's it about it's about the uh it's about the the record holder of the donkey kong
original arcade game uh score versus the up-and-comer who's the next best thing oh and it
is all about these people that have uh crazy egos and they're so detached from reality except for
the up-and-comer he's like a family man that's just doing this for fun and this guy who's the og has like a cult beneath him and uh it i don't want to give too much away
but it is it's unbelievable it's the best it's i've seen it so many times it's the funniest thing
i've ever seen in my life people always put it like top sports documentaries they'll put it right at the top it should be number one i can't think of a better documentary at all and it's so
upsetting too because like the up-and-comer is so well-intentioned yeah and he just gets kind of
boned by the dumbest system the funniest moment in that whole doc i don't want to give up too
much way but like when they're watching the
record that billy sends in and that one guy's like not even helen of troy could take everyone's
eyes off your record billy and you know he's like he's like running around and doing like
it's like he's running to the pay phone like he's in the sopranos to call tony and like
yep he's here yeah yeah he has two lives left and uh he's about two
million away you might want to get over here wow it's insane it's it's probably my favorite
documentary of all time it hands down it is i would that and the alpinist it's better than
the alpinist is the alpinist the one about the guy who is a climber but he doesn't want it recorded
and stuff like that yeah charles leclerc that one was good it was really
good the ending was a real curveball yeah and it made me you know what i like about the alpinist
is that it made me not like free solo as much where you're like oh honnold's kind of a you
know star fucker yeah hollywood dude hollywood dude yeah is the alpinist about the guy with the
finger that gets no that's tommy
caldwell that's the don wall that one's really good too don wall's good yeah the don wall had
that same effect on me with with free solo i'm like i'm like honnold's kind of a douche yeah
i like the don wall too because it has the there's a second act is about him being captured by al-qaeda
oh that's right true story yeah yeah it's fucking sick wow and he's a badass with that too yeah he
shoves the guy off a mountain yeah we should just spoil it he has terrible guilt because he saves
his wife and friend from al-qaeda because he shoved i don't know if it's actually okay but
he shoves like a uh like uh afghani guy off a mountain who had a gun to them and he feels
terrible guilt the whole movie that he killed this guy even though he's a hero for yeah doing
it yeah in the end they find out the terrorist guy actually survived the fall
really yeah i forgot that part is it a documentary it's really good i gotta watch this yeah he's the
fucking most badass and it's the same thing yeah like chow was just saying he's like such a decent
guy that you kind of just by virtue of comparison you're like i think honnold's not as cool
yeah well when you're watching free soul the way he treats his girlfriend you're like i just it's
too much for you i just feel bad for her like i see i understand he's like well you're not as
important as the wall and she drops him yeah and he, I had to consider, do I break up with her or do I let her hang out?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, can you imagine dating someone and they're just hanging from a thing in the morning?
Just practicing their grip strength.
Like, this is, I like this more than fucking you.
Yeah, you're like, do you want to get brunch or something?
Why would I want to get brunch, right?
Do you, when they brain scan him and they say he's like missing something from his frontal
lobe that
would provide fear yeah is that real i think i think it's just to make up for him being kind
of a nozzle this guy's kind of a nozzle but how do we spin it that would be cool if you
got your brain scan and it's the doctor was like yeah you're medically a douche
it's also like everyone's watching this 30 of them's like got crazy fucking fell and died
yeah that's every documentary like that yeah unfortunately yeah and then the director's like
i felt guilt like should i film it what if he dies i'm like you didn't question it for a second
dude yeah they always say like i made a promise to myself like this is the story yeah although
it's ugly you know i've got
to show the ugly truth you see him falling from the wall and he's like are you getting this are
you getting this and then he like splats and he seems he gets mad at the camera operator for
missing the shot can we try it again can we just try one more yeah yeah marc-andre leclerc moved
into the woods and did acid for two years that's also part of the documentary we're like he was homeless living on couches and he goes yeah then i just set up a tent in the woods
and uh like when my friends would be like oh let's take a tab i would say let's take five
and then disappear for five days that's what i would do so i had to stop crazy yeah that's it
is so romantic right i'm not it's funny as i get older too i'm less like uh like i hero worship those people less who like avoid
the spotlight for whatever reason i don't know maybe it's just getting older i become more of
like a like like republican dude or something but for lack of a better phrase i'm just more
of a capitalist i guess but but like i used to be like those were my favorite people like the
people who like had all this talent but just ignored the world yeah and now it just doesn't jazz me up as much maybe it feels a little performative
like they've they're forcing their brand to be that yeah it feels a little immature to me too
where i'm like well why don't you just like accept that the world is the way it is and try to find
the best way to be authentic within it do you feel like it's performative uh sometimes i would
have to see this are you talking about
mark leclerc specifically no i bought it with him and i liked him a lot but like uh
and i like jack handy a lot i was trying to think of a comedy one because like jack handy was like
lived in denver and like would just send in all of his stuff to snl and the simpsons and
i think he's sick i'm trying to think this isn't a great example but like i guess hunter s thompson
he kind of bugs me because he like wanted to be that guy but he also wanted the fame so that one's
a little more obvious because of the hypocrisy but i i don't think he's very like i i i never
thought he was i liked his writing i like hell's angels but i always thought he was kind of
phony like he just wanted to be look badass to everybody i feel that way i feel that way as well
i think daniel day lewis is pretty authentically kind of like he goes and cobbles shoes or whatever yeah he did that like for real he
took like five years off from acting in his prime he seems to that seems to be who he is
that one i buy i buy killian murphy's too yeah that one i buy what's it what's his like
whole thing he just he wants to uh raise his kids in ireland and you
know be a family man and be there for them and he doesn't want them to grow up in like a spotlight
yeah that's smart yeah and it's case by case too it is all those guys are legit and they're so good
at their work that i feel like whatever they're choosing to do it's working because they're so
good at it i think dudes are always cooler too when they get famous or successful late
as opposed to, you know,
I mean, Cillian Murphy was still pretty young.
Brian Cranston is the best example.
Yeah.
If you hit shit,
if you're on a network TV show in your early 20s,
you're probably less of a chill guy
than someone who was being a waiter for those years and then got it
they always seem to have to make up if you got success or like shia labeouf you have to like
find god or you know go on real ones john bertholdt's just
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
what is that like masculine curiosity almost
this guy's being vulnerable and true and when they compliment him the face he makes like
sean peter's like brother the work you do here is so valuable
just like violent listening yeah i want to punch you but i'll listen instead i'm inside you right now
i want to crawl inside of you that way i can get your thoughts before you do
that is it telling the story he's like i i beat the guy up for grabbing my dog too hard
he almost died and i was like i gotta make a change that's one of those stories where he's
bragging he's like this dude's talking shit
to me on venice boardwalk i'm like walk away but then he you know he insulted my dog i can't handle
that so i walk up he's with about nine guys they're all shirtless 250 and tattooed i just
clock him he's out cold he's almost dead and i just prayed to god i believe in god and i'm like
god let this man live from my immense power and and I will never do wrong again. I will love my girl, I will raise my children,
and I will build a foster home for dogs.
Dude, he's...
You do not feel bad.
You do not feel bad.
He said, he's like, I was waiting in, like, the holding cell
just praying to God he lived.
And I was like, yeah, dude.
You assaulted a guy.
He's like, because if he didn't, I would go to jail.
And we were like, yeah.
And the real life story is it's just some tourist with his family he's like nice dog burnt like on his
second cycle of the week he's he's fucking three kratom drinks he's fucking head butts a guy
not gonna be silly i think we might go on there's like a chill dude
like what's what's going on in your past parents got divorced how was how was it not bad yeah he's
like they really didn't let me see any like any of the bad arguments right yeah i got two christmases
yeah and berthold will never tell us would never tell a story where he got his ass kicked and was
praying to god you know it's never happened why would he make up a story what are you saying bird dolls is looking at he's like i've
never come from getting head once i don't i don't need pussy i don't come because i gotta be
connected to the person our souls have to be colliding for me to bust yeah there has to be a
i gotta smell a bonfire or something if i if i ever want to wiggle. There's gotta be tough guys watching.
Berthold's like that scene in Fight Club
where he's just like dumping the chemical burn on his hand.
He's like, I do that when I jack off
just to get anywhere near an ejaculation.
Put the lie on your cock.
Put the lie on your cock right now.
Burn a hole in your cock.
Oh!
Oh!
Yeah, feel that. Feel that pain. you got a big fat hole in your cock is that you have you
done it what's that his dick he's like i've got no dick dude that much lie on it that story his
dog's probably just like attacking a guy he's like
good shit spike he's like the story is a dog bullied his dog and he knocked the dog out he's
like i pray to god please let this dog survive i punched his bull master
um yeah he's a good guy hey can i drink this yeah try it out it's a magic mind dude i had
some i'll do it too how'd you like it i like a lot it's a yeah i got adaptogens matcha
nootropics smells really good smells good
what do you think i liked it this good does it feel like you're, and Liam too,
does it feel like your brain's running smoother?
I think so.
Nice, clean energy?
Yeah.
Sweet.
That fires me up.
I'll let you know in 10.
Nice, yeah.
You know, I don't want to mislead the listener,
but in 10 I will let you know.
Maybe Doug Williams should have drank a Magic Mime before that roast.
Yeah, if he would have done like a bump of coke up there he would have been all right it it was just hard watching him kind of surrender to jamie fox yeah
he should have fought harder yeah it's like it's like an interviewer like giving the mic away
that's like rule number one and he kind of just let jamie talk over him and was just like
you could see in his eyes like it's over yeah yeah don't like it yeah it's
like he's in this gladiatorial battle and he just kind of got on his knees and was like just end it
please there we go hello hello
howdy this is chad and jt you're on uh you're on going deep what's good what's going on no way
yeah yeah what's up man how you doing oh not much not much man living the dream making
cream nice dude uh we got will and liam from friday beers on the pot as well what's up dude
hey man howdy howdy howdy uh so, howdy. So what ails you?
What ails me?
About a month ago, I was dating this chick.
So I took my talents down to Peru, where she was working at a surf camp.
It was very fun.
Great country.
Great food.
Great people.
No qualms with any of that.
great food great people no qualms with any of that um but yeah and then uh the end of my like three weeks down there she broke up with me and then instantly started dating a pro surfer
so that'll no disrespect chad no disrespect but um that uh that hit the ego a little hard
a little stiff on the ego yeah but yeah yeah so just trying to trying to bounce back you know
back in la these days so uh being single in la it's uh something but uh yeah it's tough to bounce
back from the uh the upgrade she just made it it
appears to be well who's the surfer can you say or do you not want to say I can
say I'll look at my I mean I think he's like amateur pro like I don't think this
guy's like legit legit but uh yeah yeah like that makes me feel a little better
you know I also think sometimes it's kind of like it's hard to
reframe it in any positive way because you're hurting but that means that's who you're in the
same league as i don't think it's necessarily an upgrade i think that's just like who your
competition is so you're to me pro surfer appealing okay okay i can take that i could take that also too i think this guy's you know
he's a pro surfer if he's not kelly slater you know no that's like a that's like a five to seven
year career at most so you know he could be burning bright right now, but I'd say in the future, you're probably the more steady guy that she would prefer to be with.
Yep.
Father time's going to catch up to him before it catches up to you.
Also, that's a dangerous gig.
Who knows?
He drowns tomorrow.
You're back in this thing.
That is true.
That's damn right.
Yeah, you get towed in back into her life.
Wow.
Have you dated anyone since the breakup
uh dated no i'm seeing this this new lady who i uh who i like a lot she's a lot smarter she's
an architect wow okay you met a real life architect dude yeah dude they're real i didn't believe it
either wow they're real that's pretty cool yeah dude she have like blueprints
laid out in her coffee table and stuff whoa actually like all over her room oh my god dude
so what are we talking about here dude you made the upgrade brother yeah you might have a point
you might have a point so that's uh that's going well yeah dating out of my pay grade now, which is nice.
Are you even sad?
So this girl who broke up with me,
we were on and off for like six years
and each other in high school.
Dated, broke up, dated, broke up.
In the past, I've been just like super sad about it.
But this time I was more just like super pissed, which...
That might be better.
That might be the fuel you
needed to jettison out of her atmosphere yeah exactly and she she left a bunch of shit at my
place when she went to peruse you know kicked the shit out of some of it stole some of it
returned the rest you know it's good it was a 30 30 30 split you know so pretty solid there
can i make an analogy here i i feel like right now you are jason siegel and
forgetting sarah marshall and your ex is kristen bell and she's with aldous snow right now but it
sounds like you found your mila kunis if she had already gone to college yeah that's a very good
point i think i think mila is uh i think i think this new lady she could be the
mila she could be the mila yeah dude you know it's tough to compete with when you're you know
you're seeing it on the social media you know yeah out in the water maybe oh oh man yeah maybe
the blueprints are a bit of a metaphor for what's about to come in your life you know right at the
early stages she's she's building you back up.
She's building an apartment complex.
She may be designing your dream home together.
You never know.
And you're on the ground floor right now.
Yeah.
That would be fun.
If you ever have a son,
imagine the treehouse that you could assemble.
Think about the positives, you know?
Wow.
That would be a good one.
And so,
and at the end of the day, it's not hard for you to find
someone who likes you that's true that's true but you know you always got that sneaky feeling like
you know like you've never felt the way i feel with this person before and like you meet new
people and it's like oh yeah it's great you know it's fun you know She was your first love? Yeah. It was so long, so much bullshit throughout the years.
It's tough to think that I'm going to feel that way again.
Even though I know that's how everybody feels at home.
That sneaking thought in the back of your head.
How old are you?
I'm 23, but I look like I'm 30.
You sound 30.
Yeah.
It was great when I was 15 and going into the liquor store but now like at work when people are like oh so you have kids I'm
like no not quite I can tell you have a beard holy shit that's incredible just from your voice
and your confidence I appreciate that yeah the beard it's uh it's a little patchy but it's
coming in the older i get how uh how vascular are your forearms you know let me roll up the
sweatshirt not not as vascular as i'd like you know i'm no climber by any means but uh you know
when i gotta get blood drawn the nurse can find a vein you know she can she can hit it one or two
i like that you comp yourself to the top of every field it speaks to your expectations for yourself and
probably why you feel like you're suffering in comparison a little bit right now but really it's
just because you're elite yeah yeah i appreciate that i appreciate that one of these days and i
think i think too when you have pain like this it's if you look at it
as part of the story you know like this is like just this is just it'll be a good story
once you're over the pain and then when you find something you know probably this architect maybe
someone else in the future who really kind of stokes your fire and you're gonna be like wow
i can't believe i was so down and out and then i like and then i found something i never thought i'd expect before you know this is just this is
the part of the story where you're a little bit down and out but i see just a straight steady
rise for you from here i'm i'm hoping so i'm hoping so we've uh yeah really i'd like the
biggest thing at post breakup is like last time i was so I'm not going to fucking do that this time.
So I went out there, got a little crazy, did some wild travel,
and spent way too much money.
But I think we're on the bounce back.
I think we're on the bounce back.
Fingers crossed.
You've got to be careful, though, not to just suppress those emotions.
You can feel sad.
That's part of it.
Yeah.
That's going to be a critical experience.
Oh, yeah.
I fell asleep last night listening to the sad song playlist on YouTube. Yeah, that's going to be a critical experience. Oh, yeah. I fell asleep last night listening to the sad song playlist on YouTube.
Yeah, that's good.
You got to get it out.
Yeah, you have to.
You have to.
Yeah, you sound balanced as shit, man.
So, Godspeed, man.
Keep getting it.
You're doing great.
We love you.
Yeah, listen to Evanescence.
Appreciate it.
Later, brother.
Later. Forgetting marshall was the perfect
that was perfect oh dude thanks yeah yeah what a great guy i like that yeah he's really cool
i liked him it's funny when we go to shows everyone's like a foot taller than us and
like tall and blonde and jack like what's up dude and i'm like damn dude yeah they're like
they're like i'm hurting dude my supermodel girlfriend left me and now i'm dating a gal she's cool she's the cfo of coca-cola
i don't know like am i really a good man i'm like i don't know
like but if you want to hang out and keep talking about i'm down
did i ever tell you a story that uh i've only done one surf lesson it was down on venice beach and this guy comes up
sign up all the shit shows up with mcdonald's he's eating mcdonald's surf bro to the nah i was like
this is great this is gonna be awesome and we're walking out there we're doing the sand exercises
just like popping up and doing all that he goes yeah man sorry if i'm a little uh low energy right
now going through a really rough breakup with uh with my girlfriend
and i was like oh dude that sucks he's like yeah whatever anyways we're going in there and he just
keeps slowly being like oh dude my girl could do this one thing oh man yeah and then we're leaving
he's like oh be careful when you get home you'll get a ton of sand if you take off your wetsuit
near the shower like it'll clog your drain my girlfriend used to get so pissed about that
i guess i can get sand wherever i want now he said that to me and i was like he said that
verbatim and i was like was he making analogies about the waves about how to deal with he was
clearly just so fucking yeah it's hard man love is a contact sport truly truly should we do another one jake
hello what's up dude yo what's going on chilling man it's chad gt will and liam how you doing
good man what's your name brother charlie charlie
what ails you on it What ails me?
So, here's the sitch, I guess.
One of our boys for New Year's invited a bunch of people to his beach house.
And, you know, a lot of us weren't invited because his girlfriend,
he really doesn't like some of us.
And, like, I don't know.
I don't know how to deal with it.
He claimed it was a numbers game. Couldn't have too many people in the house but we all know it's because his girlfriend like
is anti-routiness doesn't fuck with it i don't know but uh i love him he invited all of his
girlfriends girlfriends and like now i don't know how to deal with it i'm gonna see him tonight
for the michigan games i don't know what to do. That's about it. I love the guy, but I'm not one to burn bridges,
but this bridge might be burned.
That's all I'm saying.
How rowdy do you normally get?
Not too rowdy.
I think fairly normal, but she's very straight edge, very proper.
She's a smart girl.
She goes to Michigan.
Part of the reason I'm throwing the house on Washington tonight.
Do you do powders in front of other people no no no not that rowdy genuinely just
just booze you don't burn stuff you don't burn stuff or break stuff
burnt not in front of this girl no breaking stuff maybe but the house is getting torn down anyway
they're building like a new house so i think that breaking stuff is but the house is getting torn down anyway they're building like
a new house so i think that breaking stuff is out of the picture at least for this he's thoughtful
yeah was there a night that uh kind of sparked her not wanting to be around you fellows as much
anymore was there one night where you guys showed your true colors and because of that, things have been a little bit weird? Yeah.
I think it's wrestling last year.
What happened?
I think wrestling in front of girlfriends is probably not a good move.
It got really hammered with the boys
and coincidentally, all the people that were fucking around
before this weren't invited so
what'd you say i'm sorry i just don't think that's that bad i think wrestling yeah that's kind of
par for the course i think that's kind of a good thing almost were you nude i don't think it's bad
no not nude not nude completely close i was because, like, I get you got to keep the girlfriend happy,
but I was just curious, like, where do you draw the line in terms of, like,
loyalty to your boys and then loyalty to your girl?
Because I get it.
Obviously, you got to keep the girl happy, even if she is super annoying and all that.
I get it, you know, but where do you draw the line between, like, loyalty to your boys,
the guys that really love you, and then, you know, your girlfriend? draw the line between like loyalty to your to your boys the guys that
really love you and then you know your girlfriend may i ask your age 21 21 okay yeah yeah i think
it's a good point because in the long run the girlfriend always wins these battles correct
i've been on yes i've been in a similar position now i'm wondering it's probably not, this is my gut reaction. It's probably not you
guys she doesn't like. She's probably thinking how you're going to influence the man she loves
and the habits he is picking up upon. Because you're a composite of your five best friends.
because you're really you're a composite of your five best friends and she's probably thinking five years down the line rather than what your life is like right now
is that something maybe you've talked to him about
yeah but at the same time like when you try to mold the guy and you're fighting her molding
what she wants to be dating it's like kind of like a battle and you don't want to mold the guy and you're fighting her molding what she wants to be dating,
it's like kind of like a battle and you don't want to be the guy that's like,
Oh,
your girlfriend is the worst.
You know,
I don't want to be mean.
I really love the guy,
but it might not be with the same time.
It might not be.
Go ahead.
Go ahead,
sir.
No,
no,
no,
go ahead.
It might not be with this girlfriend,
but you are going to lose this battle with all your friends with all of their girlfriends at a certain point we all kind of let the girl in our life
be more in charge of the direction we're going as opposed to our our bros which is probably
overall for the best honestly and like i hung tough i fought till i was like 35 but
my girlfriend is more influence over me than my bros at this point which is good i
think yes i think who's gonna lose in this situation the most because of the age thing
is your buddy and uh his girlfriend because she's trying to sequester and like just stop all the
crazy rowdiness from happening but she's got to be getting that out from 21 to 25 she should be
like invite your boys over blackout have a house party that way in five
years she can be like hey we're getting too old for this shit but instead she's trying to like
fucking pinch the hose right now and that's it's too early it's too early she should see the long
game like i had friends whose girlfriends were like oh yeah he can still do molly and go crazy
because he's in his 20s and then they know that at a certain point they'll slowly go
the direction they want yeah and by that time he also is probably thinking it's time to knock this
shit off have you had a conversation with the lady in question it's impossible to talk to this girl
bro i mean because she knows that like obviously a lot of us are terrible influences. And, you know, so there's no talking there.
She's just completely anti anything.
You know, she's just disgusted.
It's a tricky person to deal with when you're, like, trying to have a normal conversation and be like, just level with me.
We just want to hang out with him, have a good time.
He's a great guy, but you're turning him into a monster, essentially.
Wow.
And it's just, I don't know. It's sad to see but you're turning him into a monster essentially wow and it's just i don't
know it's it's sad to see because you're right 21 years old you're kind of supposed to be
an idiot essentially right i mean you're not supposed to have the the growth and the emotional
intelligence of a 30 year old yet and i get wanted to be you know um responsible and all that but it just seems too
early and it's just a sad a sad thing to see and you know i love the guy i don't know how to like
i feel hurt by the whole situation i think there's two things you can do i think next time you're
over there maybe on like a it's like a dinner party or something you trick her you know you wear a sweater you bring pinot grige you bring like some salmon and you like you're just like yeah i'm just
really into you know um career stuff right now and you kind of play that part of like wow this
guy's a solid guy he should influence my boyfriend and then when you get to kick it with him you go
nuts or like if you dudes are wrestling in a cardigan
maybe she won't notice the wrestling as much and then if whoever wins the wrestling match has to
host the next dinner party yeah wow yeah oh i like that that's huge but did you have a second thing
on it well the second thing is just like let him go off with her and disconnect because like like
the guys are saying it's a battle you're not going to win and you're just going to be fighting this fight and it's just going to be really frustrating so
if he wants to go off with her and maybe be miserable let him do that and let him come back
to you and meanwhile you can get all your raging out how long has he been dating this gal did you
say two years at this point damn Damn. I got an idea.
When you guys are wrestling,
because potentially what could have happened is the first night of wrestling,
maybe your boy was getting domed a little bit
and the missus didn't really like to see this.
Next time you guys throw a little drunk wrestling match,
let him be the hero.
Let him escape a full mount
and take your back and do all that jazz.
Let him show off
his prowess and his uh his manhood you never double leg your boy in front of his woman yeah
wait and then a little arm bar i think also like on a practical level you just have to make him
feel the deficit of not having his boy so i think and this sounds cruel but sometimes you got to be
you know striking with what's striking you.
I think you guys have to throw a shindig and leave them off the guest list.
Wow.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I love that.
You don't think it's too, no, it's not too harsh.
No, I like that actually.
No, he did it to you.
No, because you know what, then it is harsh, but then he goes, hey, that hurt my feelings.
Then you go, oh, well, now we're here.
Now we're having this conversation.
Because sometimes you can tell someone it hurt your feelings, but until they felt what
that hurt feels like, they don't get it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I like that.
It's tough love.
Sure.
It's like when a kid fucks up and like, I don't know, you got to take something from
the kid if they steal from another kid.
They can learn the lesson, you know? I don't like a have a cardigan party a cardigan party and then instead of a date in the fifth or date in the fifth a book in a fifth
like you have you have some any book maybe it's like you do uh maybe um steinbeck you do a steinbeck night that'd be good steinbeck
and the rackies there we go maybe some uh get some anti-war novels in there some dalton trumbo
show her that you're kind of questioning the things that are happening in the country that's
kind of molding you that's good yeah because then also it's like you've got this like aggressive
fighter vibe but then you're a pacifist in your intellectual pursuits yeah that's a lot for her
to reconcile all of a sudden she's going hmm wait i had this guy all wrong there's more to them
yeah they're having trumbo on a mad dog night dog 2020 yeah but broadly dude you are fighting nature yeah i guess yeah nature finds a way
life finds a way unfortunately yeah do you have a lady yeah what'd you say do you have a lady
i don't have a lady which i think that might be part of the definitely the problem of why i hate
this so much maybe it's like it's not a jealousy thing
but it's just i don't know it makes it worse but you're not you're not changing who you are for
anyone else so it's hard for you understand why someone would do that exactly exactly yeah that's
fair i'm sure from her perspective too i i don't know if she's all that pumped that her boyfriend's
hanging out with his single guy friends who are out there trying to get some get some strange you
know i'm saying you're around you're around that are out there trying to get some strange, you know what I'm saying?
You're around that energy of guys
trying to come, and maybe she doesn't
want that.
But I get the
instinct from you, I get the feeling from you, you're not
really chasing tail, huh?
No, not
that. I just, I don't
know, at this period in my life
I guess I feel more loyalty
not that not chasing tail but i guess sort of preserving a sense of self in favor of
hanging out with the fellas sort of that's what i feel like if you were given the option between
going home with a gal you met at the bar or going home with the boys and watching the
avengers while you guys wrestle you would take the ladder eight out of ten times seven seven out of ten but yeah you're correct yeah nice dude which avenger are you
were you a dc guy i guess iron man maybe good answer i was gonna say hawkeye but i like iron
man hawkeye yeah that's good hope that
guy's good by the way i heard what happened in tahoe that's a huge bummer for that guy
hopefully he'll make a make a reappearance in the next uh whatever avengers they got coming out with
now i think he's cruising he's chilling yeah dude you know what springs to mind too you substitute
this guy's girlfriend for Thanos. I am inevitable.
And then you come in and you're like, I am Iron Man.
Dude.
Wow.
Charlie, I think you're in a place where we've all been.
And I would just encourage you to keep living.
And you're an asset to your boys, dude.
You're the glue.
Watch Captain America Civil War and just play that out.
See what happens. Similar situation. Yeah. Watch Captain America Civil War and just see, just play that out. See what happens.
Similar situation.
Yeah.
No, I like it. Thank you for the advice.
I really appreciate it. Stay strong.
Alright, maybe one more, Jake, and then we'll we'll uh...
I might have gotten the vibe he was
in the wrong there.
Oh.
You think he's more reckless than he's putting on? I think maybe he didn't, because when Liam said,
was there one situation that sparked this?
He said, yes.
And I think he might have been withholding a little bit of information.
I just, I felt a hesitancy there.
I could be totally wrong.
Yeah, because I've been on this.
Nice fella, though.
Nice guy.
Yeah, charming.
I've encountered something like this once, and I i fully understand why she she she does not want us around because we
all we all did something one night where i'm like yeah that's correct yeah can you can you speak on
it no hey brother i'm right there with you we've all done it we've all been there no one wants to
talk about it i had that where i named my college house cream pie it did it did well with the dudes yeah yeah the ladies not so much yeah my group chat from middle
school uh it's called the muff divers uh i don't think anyone any anyone's girlfriends seeing those
texts come in are happy that we're still talking we evolve our group chat name every year really
we have a new name like a pokemon yeah
just because we evolve as a friend group yeah so we don't want to be shackled to the uh you know
the past yeah you don't want your crew to be stagnant no how many of these can you have a
day before you get into some trouble dude i've had three but it's generally recommended to have one. How do you feel?
Connected to every living thing.
Wow.
Yeah.
It hit your noggin that hard.
I feel good.
I mean, I definitely feel like an energy boost.
Yeah.
I feel like something in the background is just like giving me a nice little boost.
That's your frontal lobe connecting with your neocortex through chaga well why don't we here's what we can do let's end the podcast but can we throw up
cam and charlie's phone numbers for all the listeners
just call them and play it's not over by daughtry on full volume
daughtry's a guy yeah daughtry's one of them i bet you daughtry would have not abandoned his
boys deserved his countrymen at all no daughtry's still hanging with dotry's one of them i bet you dotry would have not abandoned his boys
deserve his countrymen at all no dotry still hanging with his day ones no matter what no
matter who says what dotry comes hard day yeah when dotry's saying hemorrhage on american idol
it was different i i was calling that was uh my biggest season of watching american idol and i
was calling and voting for dotry and paying to call and devote for dotry so much to the point where like my my mom was allowing it and my dad was like how
much money is he spending to vote for i didn't realize you had to pay to call in
wow how much is it like a dollar it's something really small but i'm pretty sure it does cost
some money to do that what are they doing with all that money i don't know simon's plastic surgery i was just i was just he looks
scary i thought it was his bike injury and then people point out that it's his i was like he looks
insane just for just for uber rides home for half of the odd people auditioning that aren't legally
allowed to drive yeah what did he do before what was he famous for simon cowell he's probably music producer some
yeah i think music slash tv i think he did x factor in england first which was like the same
as american idol look at him and then he brought it here i haven't seen him with uh the pull him
up with the plastic surgery yeah see he i think i've gotten i'm definitely gonna get my whole
head changed the mistake is the eyes see the eyes
oh my lord it's the eyes that's where people mess up oh yikes i just think
no one can look perfect under that amount of attention yeah yeah like if you put the
freaking super focus on me i'd like the coney guy like i relate so hard
to the coney guy the guy jacking off and yeah he puts out this doc he doesn't expect it to get me
off of there get out of here jake the coney guy he makes this doc he doesn't expect it to go like
super viral and it's this great cause about this like you know stopping this african warlord and then the whole world
thinks he's a good guy and he couldn't handle the whole world thinking he's a good guy and then a
day later he's in the streets of like san diego on drugs jacking off because he's like this is part
of me too and then they find out coney had been like dead or something for years is that true yeah
he was dead the whole time really he they found out he was he
was dead years before coney 2012 started yeah he was dead the whole time yeah dude i was like
buying the t-shirt for like 12 months dude at my elementary school kids were like yeah it was the
biggest thing ever i didn't even know what it was but i just remember being like we gotta we gotta
figure out how to fix this and i had no
idea what the issue was it'd be a good snickers commercial of just like that guy jacking off in
san diego you're not yourself dude i was thinking about i'm going to san diego tomorrow
and i was thinking about i'm doing a stand-up shot i was like maybe i'll do like a little
bit of mushrooms and then i literally was like what if i coney you should go back to the
intersection and just like lie down on the ground roll around like you know how son of sam used to
do that where he used to eat where he shot someone he'd go lie down get hard really yeah yeah oh
that's good intel man this is coney yeah no one they're going to be the guy getting naked in public,
jacking off when they take mushrooms.
No, you start off thinking the opposite.
Then it always ends up the same.
Did the guy who made the doc know Coney was dead when he put it out?
I don't think so.
That's a good question.
I don't want to put out some misinformation there,
but it's funnier to me if, yes, if he knew that.
It says Coney only had one child.
I'm betting he had a couple more.
Yeah.
Something about Warlord says to me,
you know what I always remember about Darfur,
this is really smart,
is when at the MTV Movie Awards,
Gosling and McAdams won for Best Kiss from The Notebook,
and they went up on stage and went to opposite ends,
and then they walked towards each other with Maroon 5 playing and kissed.
So romantic.
Gosling was wearing a Saved R for a shirt.
Wow.
Oh, wow.
I wish Kony was referenced more in rap songs.
You know?
Yeah.
Like, fuck Genuine Pony.
I'm getting down to the actions of coney
yo dq from nj what's going on what is up y'all this is chad and jt we're here with will and liam
what is up y'all this is chad and jt we're here with will and liam howdy howdy man what up boys um legends dude thank you for hopping on the pod dude of course happy to be on you guys are
stoke lord legends thank you it's kind so um do you want to tell us what ails you
yes no absolutely because this is quite the conundrum i uh so about 10 years ago before my
freshman year of college me and my boy are at the baseball field practicing and we're both catchers
so we're squatted down like for a lot of like good part of an hour. And all of a sudden, I got to take a shit.
And all the bathrooms are locked.
There's nowhere to go.
And I find a broken ball bucket.
And I'm like, no one's going to use this.
Coach won't mind.
I'm going to toss this as soon as I'm done with it.
And I proceed to take literally
the biggest shit of my life wow in this ball bucket and i'm saying like double tapered just
one poop no wipe just one big log wow yeah it was a log like you know the things that you like put under a door to keep the heat in
it was legitimately like that big if i said a scarf that'd just be an exaggeration but it was
fucking gnarly congrats and so thank you i appreciate it and basically
you know take the dump.
It's hilarious.
I take a Snapchat, send it to a bunch of my boys on the team,
and then proceed to chuck the bucket into the forest, you know,
a good, like, I'd say 15 yards into the forest.
And I'm like, yeah, I'm done.
That's that.
Two years later, you know, I go to one of my high school baseball
games just to catch up with folks and the coach is like I heard what you did to that bucket
and I'm like whoa like coach like I'm sorry I don't know how you found that even like whatever
and didn't think much of it and then this past thanksgiving eve i see a bunch of my
old teammates and they're like yo why aren't you at the alumni lunch you know like we missed you
two years ago at you know this alumni event and i'm like i need to know about it
turns out i'm banned from all alumni events because i pooped in this bucket wow and so you think oh this is
kind of like an innocuous thing new evidence comes to light that two guys on the team two years
younger than me that i sent the snapchat to went into the woods recovered the bucket put it back in our baseball shed and let it just stew there for the whole
summer wow it was a hit job wow yes and so basically the coach thinks i'm like disrespecting
him in the program and like i did it all on purpose and i didn't know about this until
literally 10 years later wow have you yeah go ahead sorry
no keep going i'm sorry oh no no i was just gonna say so like now i'm in this weird position of like
do i text my coach and be like yo like yeah i pooped in the bucket but you know i didn't mean
anything any disrespect to you or anything like that and then i also don't want to like yeah, I pooped in the bucket, but you know, I didn't mean anything,
any disrespect to you or anything like that.
And then I also don't want to like rat out my two boys who did this, which is kind of funny.
Very.
But like, yeah.
But like, yeah, I just don't know how to do it.
And if I do reach out to him,
do I just look like a weird idiot?
You know, being like, I'm 28 now. Kind of like an odd thing to reach out to him do i just look like a weird idiot you know being like i'm 28 now kind of like an odd
thing to reach out to your coach old high school coach out of the blue about no it's not it's not
it's not weird it's the right thing to do but yeah but at the same time too he was like super
yeah but at the same time too he was like super uh i would say like verbally abusive to guys on the team including myself i didn't bear the brunt of it thank god
but it's like i'm also kind of like you know like if you take it as disrespect like
is that like no but i don't think some sort of balance
no I don't know
I don't think that's what
we're adjudicating right now though
I think this is about
the shit in the bucket
in the locker room
and it's not about his sins
it's about your sin
which was awesome
but
I think
I think you gotta text him
tell him the exact truth
and make it right
without naming names I appreciate that I think you got to text them, tell them the exact truth, and make it right.
Without naming names.
I appreciate that, dog.
Yeah, because I want to protect the boys, you know?
They were just trying to do some hijinks or something.
I don't know.
And they did.
I mean, I think you could even even if you really want to protect them this might be a risk but you could just own up you could
put all the blame on yourself just be like you know truly i'm sorry you know i was a young kid
it was a pretty epic dump and you know i thought i thought it'd be hilarious and i just hope we can
you know i thought i thought it'd be hilarious and i just hope we can move past this because i do miss the squad you don't think you can just tell like hey i shit in the bucket and then some
of the guys thought it'd be funny to bring it back in the locker room i don't know who did it no one
does but someone brought it back in because he didn't do the i don't i don't feel like he needs
to like to own up to something he didn't do yeah yeah tell the whole truth and i think
i think he'd appreciate it at this point i do
no i've you know i like that move though too because that yeah just like make it pretty vague
like as in you know people thought it'd be funny wasn't meant to be taken like this
yeah and then if the
coach is like hey i don't think he'll do this but if he's like who are the other guy if he's that
obsessed with finding out the origins of it i think then you let it go because then he had he's
he's made it too personal yeah how abusive was he verbally curious on that like uh yeah so i remember
one time we were doing like inf, infield-outfield,
and there was this one left fielder on the team who's, you know, Frank,
he was kind of a re-knob, but, like, he was like, yo, like, move over to the left.
You know, he's out in left field.
And the guy, like, takes a few steps over.
He goes, no, further left, further left,
and literally orders this kid
to go so far left that he's into the woods where i threw the bucket like basically telling him like
yeah you don't even deserve to be on the field so you do like this weird like psychological
manipulation shit with people yeah he sounds like a psycho i mean i would i would try i would try to you know
apologize see if that works if not i would just let it go um and you know eventually he'll either
stop working there or die so you know then he can reconnect maybe that's a good point
was that a big was that the was that the meanest thing he did?
No.
One time, we were playing a game, and there was this jokester on our team.
It was a close game or something, early on in the game.
The coach was like, you can't sit on the bench or you need to stand and then the kid eventually like sat down on a bucket and the coach kicked the bucket out from
under him and it was like you stay on the ground that's where you belong wow so is part of you
is part of you happy that the shit ended up in his face?
Honestly, totally.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because, I mean, like, one, you got to think, like, I took that shit at the beginning of the summer.
So, like, if they put that back in there, like, within a week, that's like a good two to three months of baking time.
Yeah.
And duty dry does not age well. It's like a good two to three months of baking time yeah and duty dry does not age well so really you don't want to apologize you just want to keep reminding him
it's like when robin williams found the jumanji thing outside the construction site and brought it home. You know, honestly, yeah.
But I want to see all my boys, you know,
like the alumni events.
And that's kind of like the pressure
as to why I even want to bother with this whole...
Well, you guys can just go get beers
after the alumni thing
and you guys can just laugh about your fat turd
that baked and then got shoved in his dome.
You have an opportunity to do
one of the funniest
things ever is at the next alumni game you got to run this back yep wow yeah oh dude you gotta you
gotta fully make amends and then do it again get some taco bell i i think i think you guys should
wait for the coach to go to the bathroom break the flusher on the bathroom scoop out the coach's own turds bake those and then confront him with his own shit because those are like his
sins that he's that have just been baking in all of your psyches and then say hey coach this time
it's yours oh i like that yeah because i feel like if it were to happen again he tried to do
like some weird ass dna test or something it's like oh yeah it's like that scene the rookie when they all walk out and they
say it's your turn coach it's your turn coach you guys just doing that with his own poop
and did put a cherry on top you can upper deck his toilet yeah
when you think about him takes nasty shit
when you think about him
seeing your shit
what do you feel
I think there's like a twinkle in my eye
you know like
I do get a smile
aroused at all
or just like happy
maybe half chub but I'm good.
I think that fired me up a little bit.
Yeah. I really respect you, man.
No, but
I appreciate the advice because
I do like the kind of like twist
on this of just like doing it
again. Because we will
definitely have like an anniversary
game or something
like that. Maybe you guys all shit into
a bucket. You join forces, you say.
Oh.
And then maybe when the coach
does die,
after the funeral and the
procession and all the tears and all
the flowers and all the goodbyes,
you walk up to
his tombstone
dig him up drop that bucket right in there with him dude let it ferment
little flower little tree grows
with a little a little note that says sorry you marry your wife
on a cherry tree his matter and your matter are forever entwined i love that yeah dude
that was a beautiful way to end man thank you dude thank you thank you for that gift
thank you boys i really appreciate all the positivity y'all spread. And love the Almost Friday pod.
Thank you.
Thanks, dude.
You guys are all absolute rock stars.
Dude, so are you, man.
Yeah.
That's the greatest story I've ever heard.
Yeah.
Go eat some gabagool and NJ.
Guys, thank you for coming on the pod.
Thank you for having us.
That was a blast.
Thanks, dude.
So they can see you on Friday beers.
And then what stuff do you want to plug? Almost Friday pod
Almost Friday podcast you can find
it on YouTube and Spotify
Almost Friday TV that's where you can find
our videos
sometimes we're on the
Friday beers page and
but yeah check us out
when does this come out? Wednesday
tonight
I'm in Raleigh.
Good nights.
Tomorrow night, I'm in Buffalo at Helium.
If you're in town, come out.
I'd appreciate it.
Road dog.
How's that feel to say, Liam?
That's the first one, right?
It's sick doing plugs now.
Is this your first tour?
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Let's go, man.
And it's the first plug, I think, right?
Yeah, first plugs, first plugs.
Wow.
It was our first one last year.
It's cool, too.
It's exciting.
I'm pumped.
Yeah. Go see him on stage, dude. You pee your pants before. Yeah. first blow wow it was our first one like last year it's cool it's exciting i'm pumped yeah go
see him on stage dude you know you pee your pants before yeah i'm gonna there's gonna be i'll be my
penis will be wet with piss guaranteed all right awesome thanks bros thanks dudes if you need advice These guys are really nice, and you wanna know
What to do and where to go
When you need someone to guide you
Just a half-nose beside you
Go and see
Go and see
Let's go
Go with me
Cat and Jane
TV