Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 347 - First Fathers Day | Classic Solo

Episode Date: June 19, 2024

Today is another classic solo with just the bros. We start off the pod talking about JT's first fathers day experience and how his round of golf turned into something he never expected. We talk about our trip to the east coast and take some great calls. The first caller needs help with a long distance texting problem. What is the right amount of time to wait to send texts to a new lover? Then we dive deep into a WILD situation where a bro spoke up about someone else relationship and it backfires on him. All the bros are now lighosting him. What should he have done differently?LEAVE A LIKE AND COMMENT BELOW if you enjoyed this ep!  THE NEW SHOW AT THE COMEDY STORE here: https://www.showclix.com/event/joes-july10th We are streaming the BTS, Fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! San Diego is the NEXT STOP!TIX on http://www.chadandjt.com If you need advice and want to chat with us, TEXT us with your issue or question at 323-418-2019 and we will add you to the list! (Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/

Guys, welcome to the podcast. We have a super fun, deep, deep episode. So make sure you stick around. Some epic calls towards the end. But first, we got our last stop on this leg of the tour. San Diego. San Diego. We're doing five shows in San Diego at the American Comedy Code.

June 27th to the 29th. Tickets are at ChadJT.t.com i mean the shows have been epic they're awesome man they're so fun the people who come see us are great people they're awesome it's a great community so if you if you go you get to meet other stokers and that's always i always see them bonding afterwards it's nice especially after we did the uh the perineum sunning event oh yeah like i think like eight or nine of those people went out and got like beers and tacos totally that was epic man what a great that was fun it's too bad instagram was not chill with it anyways guys

we're also brought to you by the legends at Home Chef. Home Chef meals are effortless, even for someone like me who isn't making it on Top Chef anytime soon. Hey. They wrote that into the copy? Yeah. You cook good. I'm cooking good now. But I guess with Home Chef, you can cook better. Absolutely.

I believe that. For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 18 free meals plus free dessert for life and, of course, free shipping on your first box. Go to HomeChef.com slash GoDeep. That's HomeChef.com slash GoDeep for 18 free meals and free dessert for life. HomeChef.com slash GoDeep must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. guys why don't you tickle my uh boliaris areolas and call the sheriff's department because we are coming in hot i'm gonna go deep with jt podcast me with my compadre jones what up boom clap stokers and uh we got jake on the sticks how are you doing

i'm good bro how are you doing i'm good i uh i've been i've been peeing a lot that happens more as it could be a bunch of things what do you think it is i've always peed a lot i think i've always had a small bladder but i think i'm more in my head about it i've never noticed that i notice it my girlfriend knows is it do you how often do you pee in a day a lot you don't have to you know what i'm too scared to say because of that one millennia joke where he's like he's like you pee 11 times a day there must be something wrong with your prostate and now i'm thinking i'm like dude i think i pee more than that really well you know okay i don't know judge no i'm on your side here's the thing yeah in my family it's frequent. It's not unknown. You know, trips to Disneyland, my pops is going,

you know, constantly, almost after every ride. On top of that, I drink a lot of caffeine. I drink, especially, we're out of our Nespresso, so I've been drinking Benty cold brew with an extra shot. bent tea, cold brew with an extra shot. That's a massive diuretic. I've also been drinking juice. So, I don't know. So, do you think you hydrate more than the average person? I think I drink more coffee than the average person.

Okay, so that's a big part of it. Yeah. You know, my family, we all go to the bathroom a lot too, to do key bumps. Oh, that's why you're always in there? So people are like, you piss a lot or you shit a lot. Yeah. No, no, I do. Wow.

I get tweaked a lot. Oh, that explains a lot. Yeah, that's why I'm always peppy. Wow. Because you, yeah. Every time you go to the bathroom, you want to start a business. It's crazy. I kick the door coming on the way out.

Yeah. Wait, so what are you going to start a business i kick the door coming on the way out yeah wait so what what are you gonna do about it i think nothing here's the thing talk therapy here's the thing i i haven't gotten a physical in probably two years you've never had a physical yeah yeah i lied i've never had a physical i've never even been to the doctor. What's the point? But I almost called the doctor today. But then on top of that, I was thinking,

he's going to be like, why haven't you been to us all your life? And also, you're peeing a lot. I'm going to have to go in your ass. Oh, so it's a prostate thing? I don't think so. But I assume that's what, if you say I have to go in your ass oh is this what's a prostate thing i don't think so but i assume that's what if you say i have to peel i'm just basing this all at the mulaney joke where he said i pee a lot and then they put fingers in his ass oh is that from the end of new in town

yeah that's a good bit yeah and when i came back he was wearing glasses to show the time had passed forgot about that line it's a fun button yeah um so i don't know do you i assume you've done some google some chat gbt on it yeah i think uh i think it's i think it's all kind of uh mental so you're gonna beat it through positive thinking yeah uh i don't know what else i can do yeah i don't think you want to get under the hood too much i think if i'm so happy all the time it'll fix itself do you have a mantra um we could come up with one now yeah sure i don't need to pee but you don't want to have negative words in it right right like more affirmative dry as a desert oh mojave dry as the mojave dry as mojave death valley yeah that i mean that almost sounds just like straight dirty talk to me

death valley you're just dry as the mojave dry as the mojave yeah i said that to my lady many a time she wasn't stoked for some reason dude you know what's crazy is when we we meet people at shows and they're like i've been listening to you since i was a baby yeah like they'll be like oh i was like 14 when i started listening to you now i've just graduated college yeah it's a big uh it's crazy i mean i know we've changed but they've been through such a transformative time it's nice to hear it makes me feel old but it's really nice to hear i know well yeah it's it's it's really nice to hear but then you're also like man how much time has passed because to me it feels like a year totally um but yeah i mean i think about thinking about like 2018 starting the pod that's wild it's a long time ago you know california does that too because we don't have seasons so there's not much demarcation at time right good call and then covet just feels like lost time yeah that split our doms up big time yeah

that effed up the continuum have you been good dude just been living i've had a couple of big moments yeah i had my first father's day as a father oh that's right i was dude happy father's day thank you that was wild got to hang out with my pedidos, who are now, I don't know, they're kind of turning into banshees, maybe bee feeders. But one of them's running around. I did. So you knew I had a plan for Father's Day. Yeah, I was picturing you out there.

So I wanted to go play golf by myself. So I was going to go get stoned and just like have like a personal journey like a total dad day yeah to me playing golf by yourself is like the most dad thing you can do hundo p so i was like yo i'm going hard in dad life yeah so i booked myself around at hansen dam my brother tells me about he's like that's a good course you should where is that it's like 20 minutes from where i live and i think it's in like deep burbank it's in the burbank's huge i had no idea so i get out there kind of baked i'm like nervous i'm like in the clubhouse i feel kind of out of place but i'm like i'll be fun once i get out there so i pull up to the first tee and then

this was like just crazy a dude pulls up in a threesome and he's like dude am i playing with jt parr today he was like a fan oh wow and i was like oh no dude i'm just trying to do like a solo thing i told him i was like i'm a little baked i just like i'm gonna like play by myself he's like kind of give me a sideways glance like huh and i was like i was like is that in my head i'm like is that weird but he was totally nice about it his dad liked our city council so his dad was super nice guy so they t off and then i'm about to rip and then this dude comes up and he's like hey can i play with you yeah and i'm i feel bad but i'm like nah man i'm on like a solo journey yeah like it's a mission of personal discovery and i gotta i gotta be

self-contained for it he kind of looks at me sideways and then i t off and i felt bad He looks at me sideways and then I tee off and I felt bad. You know, like I rejected this dude. He was looking for companionship. And so I text my brother and I'm like, I'm like on hold too. I'm like, yo dude, I just like told this guy I didn't want to play with him because I just want to play by myself.

And then my brother goes, did you book all four spots for your round? And I go, no. And then he didn goes, did you book all four spots for your round? And I go, no. And then he didn't text me again. Then I thought about it. I was like, oh. I was like, if you want to play by yourself, you can't just book your own round. They want to make money.

Yeah. So they stick you with other people. Yeah. And I was like, oh, shit. So like those guys weren't asking me to play. Right. Because they thought i was cool yeah i was like am i partner with you you're like no yes so i'm just creating this new lane for myself

in the middle of these two rounds that shouldn't exist what happened so then i'm like well there's no one i went up i started playing like 450 so the guy behind me is like the five o'clock so i'm like oh there's no one behind him we might be the last rounds of the day yeah and i'm like so there's no i'm not following the rules but there's no consequences yeah so i just keep playing but then i see there are guys behind him so i'm like i gotta i can't hold up other people so i'm gonna go up to the guy and say hey man man, let's play together. I didn't know the rules, which was genuine. I initially, I didn't know the rules as I'm approaching him at the tee box. He turns and just started screaming at the guys behind him. He goes,

this is cursing. He's like, motherfucker, you hit up on me. He's like that ball whizzed by my ear. And he starts yelling and screaming. Oh my God. And then I started thinking screaming. Oh my God. And then I started thinking, this is my fault.

Like I pushed him back, probably angered him a little bit. So he's more reactionary. And I'm part of the reason the ball was by his head. The other two guys who hit the ball, it wasn't really their fault. He was like down past the green on the car path. And they had no way of knowing like that he would be there i think a lot of people would have made the mistake but he was piping mad they pulled up two guys he starts cursing him he's like you stupid he's been way too aggressive yeah he's like you freaking hit

up on me so you're sorry so you're sorry and the two they were like young dudes like 20s one of the guys was big he was like bro chill out man like we didn't know we said we didn't know now chill out they start yelling each other i'm like you know what if this guy gets into a fight i have to fight with him because this is my fault so i like get in the middle and i just act like i've known the guy forever and i'm like dude chill like you need to chill and then i turn to the guys and i'm like we're sorry like misunderstanding and then they're like yeah man just chill and then the angry guy and the other guy they both wanted to have the last word and you're just in your head like dude i just hope

someone just gives up on this thing and lets it go and then it just kind of bubbled down and that was it that was it and then i went up to the guy i was like what's up dog i was like sorry i didn't know the golf etiquette about the book and he's like it's all good and then he thought because i didn't know that i had never played golf before yeah and i guess i suck enough that that's believable so he just coached me for the rest of the round really did you have fun with him yeah he was cool it was cool hanging out with him and like he was good he ripped like a shot right afterwards i was like are you playing better or worse since you had the altercation he's like the same yeah it's just a game but they gotta know better man i got hit in the arm by a nine iron

i was out for three months really yeah he was 60 years old he looked a lot younger really intense dude so he's great course i come out here once a month with three buddies yeah that's my regular group we play once a month he's like but you'll love him man you just got to keep playing yeah and then i went up to the dudes behind us and uh i saw them at the next hole and i i used the you know like i i'll try too hard to throw in voc us and uh i saw them at the next hole and i i used the you know like i like i'll try too hard to throw in vocab words but i was being sincere yeah i went up to like yo bro sorry for the kerfuffle and then they looked at me they went all good dude it happens that was it but it was wild that's hilarious yeah uh oh are we playing together no no you can politely fuck off i know i called my brother he's like

you're an idiot they don't let you just book your own round and i was like he was like making it like i was entitled i was like dude i just didn't know man i've never booked like my own round basically right that does sound nice nice evening round so you did an evening round yeah i played till like 6 30 it was fun how'd you shoot i wasn't even keeping score i was just messing around like having fun and then once i got with him i don't know i think i parred one hole but i wasn't playing good i was shanking left and right yeah but it was fun yeah like i was having a ball yeah dude it's fun when you're by yourself like you just like hit an extra ball if you want to totally just work on your swing a little bit jake does that i like playing alone better than playing with people honestly because of that reason dude i got like three balls i gotta be honest i don't

think i've ever played alone and i like doing stuff alone yeah it's great it's the best what i do is i like wear headphones and I just put on my favorite song, get in my zone, you know, make my own little time. Yeah. You know, maybe hit a little weed, fucking say what up to the cart girl, take a couple cracks at it, you know? Nice. Yeah, that's what I was.

Sans the cart girl, that's what I was doing. I had my headphones in. I was listening to like just introspective music. was sick golf courses are always pretty too yeah and when the sun's going down too that's pretty sick or early morning that's what mark walbert does he cranks out 18 holes in two hours that'll set the tempo i played in westchester new york oh when he went to see your brother i did nine yeah how's that it was cool um it was uh i had a couple couple brews it was nice and uh yeah i just got to play with my brother a little bit i shot okay you know i borrowed someone else's clubs um but it's fun it's fun to get out there nice he's got

a my brother's got a beard oh interesting came interesting. He came in rocking a beard. I was like, whoa. It's pretty awesome. It's tough when your family member changes up their aesthetic. Yeah. You're like, did the family agree to this? Yeah, yeah. Well, you know what? You know what the thing is?

I think I'm like, I'm kind of becoming an East Coast guy. I love the East Coast. What's in your blood a little bit? Like you went out to high school out there yeah but you know here's my thing is i went to high school there and i like i hated it um i just had so much disdain for the east coast probably because my high school years are out there and i was in the middle of connecticut it's like this place sucks it's just there you have seasons there's there's uh foliage foliage can kiss my ass so sick of foliage so i was just pissed off at it i was like there's definitely ghosts everywhere i thought it was all

haunted although this is a piece of shit part of the country um sorry to curse but then we've been touring there i saw boston love boston philly sick philly was cool american history took the train from boston to new york beautiful ride went down the coast of rhode island you know massachusetts all that stuff connecticut it's beautiful and then uh being in westchester new york you know not during the winter like during the summer it's hot you got the humidity but i like the humidity and then you know you got like the hamptons are sick and i don't know i was just like man that would be cool to like spend a summer in the hamptons i think it's a lot of fun my family's going i don't think i can make it this year but my family goes to nantucket that's right summer yeah yeah when are they going they go beginning of august that's sick my brother and my dad that's awesome is he bringing his his little one

that's a little i shouldn't i don't know if he's comfortable with me so he probably doesn't care i say her name yeah papa cuz foliage does blow foliage can where did i play dude good question i don't even know but we had a caddy cool caddy that helps a ton we had a caddy when we played in the dude the netflix thing put right there okay he fixed my swing yeah you know what he helped me too i don't normally hit a good three wood off the fairway yeah so i was just gonna hit my five iron he's like you need to hit your three wood like he's like you can't keep living your life that way. You're just got to figure it out.

Yeah. Yeah. Even if you don't, it's just better to be that kind of person. You're right. Uh, I had a, it was embarrassing cause I was with my brother's work friend.

I was in the trap and three, three attempts to get out of the trap and the caddy goes, it happens. Did you watch the U S open? It was kind of a bummer really why because rory mcelroy who famously stood by the pga tour when a bunch of guys went to live but he uh was in the final round going up against uh de chambeau who's like this monster off the tee apparently kind of a weird guy yeah like big boy yeah and macaroy also hasn't won in like 10 years and also was about to have a very public divorce and then a week ago said we got back with her yeah yeah so he had all these great narratives that would have been nice to see him win and he just kind of uh he was on fire

early and then he kind of choked at the end really Really? I know that's a harsh word. I don't mean it like he's a good dude, a tough dude, but he just had a bad couple holes at the end there. Like missed some putts and stuff. So he hasn't won in 10 years? I think 2014 was the last time he's won. That's crazy. And he was like a kid. But he's still like one of the top dogs.

Yeah. I mean, that's what's- Is this US Open or any major? Any major. Wow. But he's still one of the top dogs. Yeah. I mean, that's what's. Is this US Open or any major? Any major. Wow. He's still one of the top dogs? He has posted 20 top 10 finishes in majors, including nine top fives. That's rough.

You know, Phil had a run like that from about like 96 to like 05. Mm-hmm. Do you wish you had played golf like in school and like if you if you could play one sport competitively go let's say you let's say you're able to train in one sport from a young age and then play competitively in high school and possibly college what sport would you pick i think the training would have been too difficult for me but i would actually do wrestling oh yeah which is kind of like golf if you have like a brain disorder yeah jake did that too lonely isolating weird guy sport dude

yeah i remember my buddy george cutting weight he just looked like he was dying he's like he's like oh i'm cutting weight oh and then you see him wrestling. He'd just be getting mounted. Brooks was going to play. Brooks played Pop Warner football for a little bit. And he was huge. But you know, those guys always wanted to weigh less so they could play football against smaller guys. Yeah.

And I remember he told me when he was going to his weigh and he was spitting a lot, trying to cut weight. Spitting? Yeah, like he was hawking Lukies. Whoa. But of of course i don't think that makes much of a difference that doesn't do anything no he was like yeah dude i was just spitting uh it does help a little bit with water weight so it's only a few ounces but i guess every ounce matters at the end there yeah if you're trying to make a certain weight

you don't drink water for like the last 24 hours can you look up how much you how much weight you can spit out in an hour yeah let's see what's the most you cut jake um when i was younger i cut from like 126 to 113 whoa um but i was still on jv so i wasn't like good or anything but um yeah it did suck a lot dude but what you were in iowa you were against high competition yeah the guy that i was wrestling against was a state champ so i guess i was decent but uh yeah i mean the hard part is like snacks right because those are the things that add up calories and weight and i would just i used to have an addiction to cosmic brownies and i would have to like not eat them because i was trying to lose weight i'm dealing with that right now i'm trying to cut ice cream but i love ice cream why you want to cut it i just want to be ripped i've been really committed to i was like i think

i'm finally adjusted to the routine now with having kiddos and i'm like dude i want to get you know what i really want i want to get in shape but i really want a fat ass right you've always wanted that i want a fat ass so bad and And I've always had a little, little butt. And my brother has a little, little butt too. So some of it's genetic, but I'm not going to let that keep me from having a fat PBL. How's your dad's ass? I think it's small. I can't remember his tush.

I've seen it a bunch, but I can't remember his tush that well. Do you ever talk to your dad about it and be like, what's going on here? I've tried. He gets evasive. Almost like someone has said something about it to him, and he doesn't want to think about that moment again. Well, he called off your trip to Spain because yes and by that's right I said pequeno cool oh papa yeah cuz I was just learning

Spanish and I figured I'd use those words in some variety with the people I met over there and he just with tears in his eyes just smacked me yeah and then I was like I don't I I didn't think it was because of that i thought it was because like i'd crashed the f-150 again i mean knowing your dad the way i do um he isn't yeah he doesn't care about things like that he i mean that dude literally every time he and i are kicking it and he pulls up instagram it's just some dude doing squats with a huge ass that one frankie guy that huge ass dude just tell him to send him to me sunday what tell my my daddy send me that stuff I've tried dude

cause I'm like I'm getting the same stuff but he doesn't ever want to talk to me about it well I'm like I'm like I'm like dude

like I appreciate you wanting to come over and talk about legs and ass but I think your son is way more interested

in this than i am i did he was like i saw him and i could have sworn i heard that that new beat bbl drizzy and i thought i caught him like looking at his butt off the mirror as he was listening to it but then he like looked and shut the door real quick. For real? Yeah. But then I thought maybe I was dreaming. I didn't want to tell you this, but he's been texting me.

About what? He's like, dude dude be straight with me he's like bro be straight with me do I have a nice ass what do you tell him I'm like I'm like look I call him t-bone I'm like look t-Bone it could be better is it good though? it's okay I don't want to lie to him and say it's fat

and then he goes to Miami and he gets shown up by like 10 dudes it's a lot of dudes nah you gotta keep it real with him I'm happy you do that. You got to keep it straight with the old man. I mean, I guess maybe if I get a fat enough, a donk, a donk, he'll text me. I do want that though.

I want a fat ass. I'm going to it do you play hockey i know i just hate ice skating but i totally i like all the other parts of hockey just blade just start blading a bunch yeah that was fun we went to that skating event we rollerbladed quite a bit you should do like speed blading i like weightlifting i like doing squats but it all goes to my friggin quads yeah your quads are huge you're deece bro i mean maybe thanks for saying that though on record i mean i do uh i do sculpt uh for yoga and we work the ass like legit like like like specific like donkey kick type stuff donkey kicks bridges um fire hydrants all that stuff you feel it yeah do you put weights on your feet uh in between right here oh nice so you'll be laying like this that's probably better than the foot right yeah so

yeah do that i'll be like this i'm all fours like this whoa me and like 30 chicks don't stop not to brag you looked like a cute little whore right there dude you should see me in class yeah i bet you're a little fucking seductress minx yeah well i'm just like i'll be kind of rebellious and i'll be like you know whoever whoever's in there you know bay maybe sage um there's one teacher chakra shayaminka dude mink is a beast and she'll be like she'll be like chad donkey kick i'll be like make me and then she'll you know just be like she'll be like you better don't you know we just have a lot of tension that a donkey can't get. I just let out some, ah, ah, ah. So it's not sexual at all.

Sorry, I just totally thought about you in there. Did you see me go there? Yeah, I'll show you. Yeah. Good range of motion. Thanks. Are you feeling that in your tush uh yeah feeling in tush yeah especially the donkey kick hell yeah um so that's something you could do i will i'll start doing those at home for sure. Yeah. I will. I swear to God. It'll leave a very good impression on your kids too.

Because right now, I assume their memory isn't walking in yet. It doesn't start at like two. I don't know. Mine started early. Yeah? Yeah. I remember my dad looking at his ass and just being so disappointed when I was like, I don't know, 12 days old. And that's colored your whole life. I guess so.

I mean, we're really like peeling the layers back on like the fat onion booty right now. Yeah, it has. So imagine for your kids, if their first memory is you doing donkey kicks. That's healthy. I think that's what they do in the Kennedy and Bush families. That's how they created a political dynasty. That is huge. As well as...

Hopefully none of my kids turn into Joe Kennedy kennedy crash their plane like an idiot yeah dude i uh what do you you know how i've been borrowing my mom's uh electric blue beamer beamer convertible what do you think when you see me driving that i just think I just think you don't even have to you know what song that plays in my head WAP what ass pussy not calling you a pussy

yeah that's what I was like what that's what you're creating as you drive by oh yeah yeah yeah hell yeah what do you think well i i mean during covet i liked it because no one could see me in it so it's just fun uh-huh but i drove it over here and four kind of tough looking dudes, like in a beat up car, they drove by and one of the dudes had his middle finger up in the air. I swear to God. And then, you know, normally sometimes I drive bad. And so I was like, but I was driving good.

So I was like, I don't think I did anything wrong. And then I was like, you know what what maybe that middle finger wasn't for me let's find out for sure though and then so i floored it and i drove and as i drove past him the same guy stuck his middle finger so you don't know i i was driving good. So I have to assume they just saw me driving that little electric blue Beamer and they were like, nah. Yeah. And they were hard looking dudes, like real hard looking dudes. So I think they might be doing that more often than not. Hard dudes, probably in LA, they're like sick of pride month or something. Yeah, they were pissed.

They just looked like uh you think life is fun yeah you trying to have fun on this freeway shut up yeah i felt it though i drove by him and i was like i looked in the rear view and bang he hit me twice with it what dude is there anything better than a nice bird it's it's And I looked in the rear view and bang, he hit me twice with it. Dude, is there anything better than a nice bird? It's pretty cool. Yeah.

I was remembering another time me and this guy were going out and on the freeway cutting each other off. And I pulled up to him and I drove by him and I gave him the bird. And then, dude, he hit me good. I think I've told this story before, but he hit good he laid back at me and he made fun of my middle finger and I was like oh man I got him I pulled in front of him and i did like 20 on the freeway and i saw him just going like this like oh amazing we had a good duel and then we both pulled up to each other getting off at the ortega exit in san juan and we just did you look at each other a little bit we're just like and then we just turned forward. Amazing.

Man. I'm getting such a charge thinking about it. Do you ever hear about road rage incidents anymore? I think they still happen. Oh, there's a famous one right now. I don't know if you'd quite call this road rage, but the Karen Reed case. Have you been seeing that on TikTok? No. So this lady's on trial for murdering her cop husband.

Have you been seeing that on TikTok? No. So this lady's on trial for murdering her cop husband. And the story is she dropped him off at a party at his cop buddy's house. And as she was pulling out, she hit him with a car and then just left the scene. Does that count as road rage? Or is that more just like... That's like, I'm going to kill my husband with a car. That's more of like a domestic drama.

Yeah. But I'm talking about the road rage where people are i i guess i'm talking about the road rage where people are beefing like that but like instead of yeah but instead of like a peaceful ending one guy gets out and shoots the other guy it happens i haven't i've never seen it pop off that hard, but I've seen it get close. I mean, I would have to say that I don't think about murdering often, but when I do, it's usually in a car. Yes. Well, it separates you from your environment. Yeah.

You're more like in a first-person shooter or something like that. And when someone, when someone's driving like a dick, I always just, uh, like, man, what if I shot that person in the head? That's natural. That's normal.

Um, this Karen Reed, we should investigate that later though, but this is 92% of people. Can we, okay. This is what I wanted to see. 218 murders have been attributed to road rage oh over a seven-year period that's actually less than i thought it would be that's not bad

what's that come out to that's about like 29.5 a year 29.8 i'm re-watching the your honor with um cranston yeah have you seen it i've never seen it is it good it's uh uh it is good but it involves a hit and run that's sort of the inciting incident that's the kick is it his kid what's what do you mean the denial of death yeah I finished the David Milch memoir incredible one of the best books I've ever read convinced me I need to be more pretentious

yeah it looks like big ex Tom is having issues with his lady because he's not busting quick enough yeah gotta bust fast you've heard bust who don't yeah so dude you not you're not using loche so you're having trouble busting um i experienced that you know

my first few times uh in the sack i couldn't bust oh I think because I was raw dogging with no lush and just totally just and I think I was also hammered and a little bit nervous but I think that also has something to do with it because I was just yeah just high friction I was starting to fire down there you know no oil so did the girl tell you like, hey, I'm getting too much friction on my puss? I think early on, I would just lie and be like, I just came. You faked it.

I faked it, yeah. I got called out of it. No, you didn't. Would you fake bust? Like do the whole like- No, no. You just be like, I'm no you just wait you know what thinking back i think i may have yeah oh oh yeah oh i gotta run to the bathroom this is gonna be a lot that's when i first faked came i told the guys i was i thought it was like peeing i was like guys open the door i'm gonna come

and all the guys were like it doesn't work that way you idiot i was like damn it open the door open the door i thought you held it in like piss i didn't realize it was like a uh like a building climax dude check this passage out from early in the denial of death when we appreciate how natural it is for man to strive to be a hero how deeply it goes sorry sorry start again when we appreciate how natural it is for man to strive to be a hero how deeply it goes in his evolutionary and organismic constitution, how openly he shows it as a child, then it is all the more curious how ignorant most of us are, consciously, of what we really want and need. In our culture anyway, especially in modern times,

the heroic seems too big for us, or we too small for it. Tell a young man that he is entitled to be a hero, and he will blush. We disguise our struggle by piling up figures in a bank book to reflect privately our sense of heroic worth, or by having only a little better home in the neighborhood, a bigger car, or brighter children. But underneath throbs the ache of cosmic specialness, no matter how we mask it in concerns of smaller scope. How fast do you think that author busts? Ernst Becker, dude? I don't think he busts that fast because i think he would think

that busting fast is chasing relief release from existential dread because we feel meaningless in the context of our you know fast road to nothingness and he would realize that experiencing intimacy with someone else isn't about the end it's not even about the beginning it's about the shared experience that can only really be truly enjoyed when it's disconnected from expectation so you're saying a full body full-body explosive bust is the kind where time stands still where we reach divinity because we reach a time of no time of infinity and infinity infinitely I think his whole body felt like it was busting

like if you touch his wrist you're touching an extension of his sexual energy you're touching his cock because his whole body has been converted into a vessel of reciprocal pleasure that's like to quote Molly bro Ted Rams he said he was peaking one time and this old as he's like my whole body feels like a dick right now I think that's there

was a French dude shelf who go and he said that was the aim of sex to make your whole body one sexual organ and then dude Molly bro just knew that off the rip without even having to go to college you know it's funny when we our friend is Molly bro and he came on the pod years ago as molly bro and all our friggin fans took it seriously yeah and we're like dude you guys should not be telling young people to do molly every day and i took them saying that seriously i think i almost took it too seriously like it was clearly a bit yeah and i was trusting the audience's intelligence to see through that but people thought we were very irresponsible hilarious i remember having like phone calls about it being like is this okay and i was like man but it's always crazy to me like

i don't know what what feels true and what doesn't it is funny to think of how how much that stuff affects you in the moment and then you get years away from it and it's just so it's yeah you're like I can't even believe that was a convo yeah it's really no big deal either way yeah big big fights that people have had like friends of mine me too over like political issues or you um, you know, social issues. And then you look back on it and you're like, we're both wrong.

Right. And like that person's gone more the other way. And I've, I've actually gone more their way. Yeah. I've been in arguments where we, we switched like me and Greg grown up. He was more one way politically.

I was more one way. Now we've kind of switched and we'll have the opposite debate. Right. But it'll be in my original argument and i'll be in his original argument yeah i think it is good to look on back on life with that perspective because in the moment things can feel so important yeah they put a moral urgency into it where they're like hey if you don't important yeah they put a moral urgency into it where they're like hey if you don't

and sometimes they're right but i think a lot of times it's they're not always right they're like you got to make a stand right now yeah or history's gonna remember not even politically though but and sometimes just certain feelings oh yeah just just in general like uh, you just look back on it. You're like, I guess the thing is like worry. You know, you spend a lot of time worrying. I'm definitely guilty of that, just worrying a ton. And then you look back on it and you're like, that's so much time wasted. But when you're in the middle of it you you can kind of realize it but you're like i can't get rid of it you know what i mean no and it it's uh i i have it with different

things and for me it's not worry as much as it's like if i don't get this off my chest i'm gonna feel like i'm getting pushed around and then if i right if i don't stand up for myself maybe i'll never stand up for myself right but there's always tomorrow and i'm really not even trying to stand up with myself i'm just trying to get rid of anxiety yeah i'm just like oh if i stand up for myself i'll get a charge from that and then i won't have to wrestle with this kind of uh uh this like ill-fitting just like overwhelmingness yeah like i'm like i gotta i gotta get this out somehow and then so like you can do it through worry and like pushing that out or you can do it through like you know me like i'll get into like a little argument or something and that gets it out for me right

where i'm like a little conflict will fix me up good interesting but i think it's really just it's just anxiety and it's just what are you's just how are you trying to get rid of that thing? Yeah. And then, yeah, you look back and you're like, well, I didn't need to do it that day. I didn't need to do it that day. Yeah. It wasn't all that big. I've been trying to like, for a long time there, I don't know if I was bummed, but I couldn't appreciate things.

Right. And I think having kids has helped me a lot with that, where it's so minor. But I was driving on the 405 today, and I just looked at all the beautiful trees. It's really pretty on the left side of the 405 once you get past like santa monica over by the getty and i was just like man that is beautiful and i felt like total kind of serenity yeah and it was it was all i hadn't been able to do that for a long time it was really nice that is nice yeah i i i've been trying to savor moments too um or i even i don't know if i was savoring it this time but i lately trying to like take in summer especially when it's sunny because i love

that so just or even i went surfing yesterday being able to like to be like i think just grateful like i get to experience this this is so cool but even like i'll look back on like when i was in florida with my brother and even just like the idea of being there's something to me about being in like a hot place and summer's coming it's like may and you know summer's coming it's hot and the sun's setting you're at like a concert with your brother just moments like that just you know and you just sort of look back on it you're like man sick you're like i wish i could have more moments like that and just uh yeah i don't know and sometimes those you you pass through those moments and you don't appreciate it but then you look back and you're like man that was really sick

you know what i mean oh totally no i've had so many moments that were like i was just too hyper vigilant in the moment to really enjoy it yeah but then i look back i'm like man what a cool experience i got to have yeah but i i'd like to and you can't always do it but especially when we're on the when we're touring for stand-up yeah you know i'm worried about my set so i can get worried about like what's going on in the club that day are they running the club good is the crowd good am i feeling good about my material you know are there hecklers or something like that that could throw it off and then you're

worried about like the financial side of it like are we selling tickets enough yeah and then i'll lose sight of the fact that anybody wants to see me do something yeah how early in my career i would have given anything for someone just to say good set right i was i was actually i started crying about it yesterday i remember those first couple years when you're doing stand-up and you're just bombing your face off every night i know a ton of comedians have talked about this so i apologize but if it feels like you've heard it before but i remember like jake weissman who was we're super different guys like sensibility wise but i did like a shitty

bar show at karma lounge and uh i was so nervous before my set i almost boked i was outside really i was outside dry human wow losing it there's five people in the crowd yeah and i was so scared i was like because he was there like chase bernstein were there i wanted their approval so bad and i was like dry heaving yeah and after the show he came up to me and he said hey man you're really funny yeah and i don't think i could admit it to myself until like yesterday i knew it meant a lot to me but i never like let it sink in that like saved me yeah that kept me going yeah i needed that i needed it really bad and uh yeah that was how many years into it was that i was like a year and a half two years into it yeah and i hadn't done in like i'd only done mics i'd never done like a show even though that was

basically a mic wow and uh that's awesome yeah he was it was so cool of him to do that yeah it really meant a lot to me especially because we were different That's awesome. Yeah, it was so cool of him to do that. Yeah, it really meant a lot to me, especially because we were different. But yeah, just trying to enjoy when we're on the road than anyone's there to watch and just be like, this is sick. Yeah. There is something about when we were in Boston, I just walked around Boston.

I'm like, man, just taking in Boston. There's old historical buildings there. You have a statue of Sam Adams. boston i'm like man just taking in boston like there's old historical buildings here yeah a statue of sam adams and uh i love that shit you love the history i love the history or just there's a a tavern or like this was built in 1795 and it was it was run by like um it was run by you know you know friggin one-legged nick or something and he was like you know he was involved in the revolutionary war and he's all that stuff and they built this once america was established and you're like man that's been around since then

and then you think about like how we like you know if like you know we get to live multiple lives or whatever just the idea of like you get to be like that character in that lifetime where you're like part of the american revolution you run a tavern and you're kind of like the he's kind of like the the town gossiper and like not not in like a bad way but he would like the socializer the connector yeah yeah yeah and it's like and then it takes away some of the anxiety wherever you're like oh not everything's so precious where i need to like i need to like you know earn like a ton of money and get like a ton of status to feel

important or whatever where i can just enjoy the ride of being like who i am i don't need to be like someone else i don't need to you know i can just enjoy this ride and you know sometimes you veer off the path where you get in your head and stuff but i think having those moments though is fun i've definitely felt that too where i'm like man i think i wasted time chasing something that wasn't even me and i was like yeah but you probably got to do that a couple times in your life i'm like, man, I think I wasted time chasing something that wasn't even me. And I was like, yeah, but you probably got to do that a couple of times in your life. I might even have a couple more of those years. Right, right, right.

Where I'm just like, oh, it was not the direction I was supposed to go. Right. And then I can feel bad where I'm like, oh, well, did I, how much did I lose not doing the right thing? Yeah. But then I like what you're saying where it's like just be a character yeah that guy was just a character yeah he might not even have known

he was but i feel like he did yeah he's like dude i got one leg i own a bar i fought in a war yeah it's like just okay you're like this is the character i'm playing in this round yeah i kind of talk shit but everyone kind of likes me yeah it's fun that is nice man yeah maybe i should say more compliments to people too dude i was with moscow yesterday um and uh he's like you need to wear emf underwear i'm like on the plane and i'm like what's that for he's like what do you think bro it's a ball of electricity what's that for? He's like, what do you think, bro? It's a ball of electricity. What are those goggles he's wearing that he posts about on Instagram? Goggles.

He wears like neural. Oh, it's like red light? Some kind of like big VR looking device that he puts on his eyes and he says it's for his brain. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I didn't ask about that. says it's for his brain oh yeah i don't know i didn't ask about that i love moscow but i i will laugh if he gets hit by a car at 40 and just dies not because i want anything bad to happen to him but he's just putting so much energy into being like tip-top health yeah that it just feels like the most like like classic i'd be like that's hilarious

is it weird so someone just wrote in on the chat is it weird to send a jerk to completion video to my girlfriend she sends me videos of herself and i want to return the favor and i think she'll like it but i'm not 100 sure want to return the favor and i think she'll like it but i'm not 100 sure um i don't think it's weird if she sends you videos and if you you know what here's what would make it weird if you act weird in the video if you can do that and be yourself and be comfortable and be cool and send it without expectation of her being like that's awesome like even be open to her saying i didn't like that and if you can roll with her saying that and say, that's cool, babe, just wanted to try it out. See if you dug it. I'm ready to move on to the next thing.

If you can bring that good energy to something risky like that with your girlfriend, I think you could be all right. But if you bring any baggage to it or anything inauthentic, you're dead in the water, brother. but that's the high wire act you do when you send jerk to completion videos to your girlfriend i've got a question for mud doggy um is it when she films them is it just of her face or is it of everything so i'm like if you send one is it just gonna be your face i think he should include his face that that's why is it just the face where just like oh no no i think he's set it up like right here and i think your dick is kind of in the slight foreground yeah but your head is top of frame right and uh kind of a cowboy shot

and and so because she'll want to see i think she'll want to see your pleasure and how you uh emotionally move through your masturbatory i i think i would i think i would mess it up where it would just i just have it on my face like close up oh oh yeah that's probably better than just the wiener but i think you want it a bit wider right yeah you want to be made by a tripod just that's better if it's just your dick that's just it's just a close-up that was i mean there's the fam can we pull up brett farve's dick pic have you seen this before no i it always bothered me one that he sent this unsolicited but also just like the framing he picked for it. Captain Big Nip says, maybe try putting a little fedora on your hog. That might be chill.

Siddharth Ass says, shoot it from the back. Interesting. So ass, just the ass, and maybe show that clench. I like where Siddharth Ass's head is at. Skivvy sniffer says you'd recommend doing a headshot while moaning wearing a fedora that was sort of what i was thinking so

skivvy sniffer and i are kind of on the same um oh it's a mud we got an update from mud doggy she never sends pictures of her face so i didn't do video my face either it's just me cranking and grunting naturally yeah let's know if she doesn't like it i'll let you guys know thank you you know, I think you, I still think you should include your face. You know better than me, but I like the vulnerability of it. Guys, I'm interrupting this podcast

to let you know once again that we are on tour. We have our last stop of this leg of the tour, San Diego at the American Comedy Co. Five shows, June 27th to the 29th get your tickets at chanjt.com we also have bros before joes at the comedy store belly room july 10th i believe capacity is like 65 in the belly room so make sure you get on that um because that's not a big room so get your tickets also we're brought to you by the legends at home chef home chef they have their meal kits the dankest meal kits of all time i

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all right back to the show dude before we get into your ish um mud doggy is have you been following the chat on twitch no i haven't so mud doggy is you know considering sending a uh jo video to his girlfriend um and we're just wondering do you include the face in the shot no just the hog don't include the face yeah just hog okay but are you guys saying no face point but do point five on the camera but are you guys saying no face because it's less embarrassing without the face no i guess like what what angle would you do it from like where where would you the camera? You put the camera about crotch level, you back it up about two and a half feet, and then you shoot upwards with your penis

at the bottom of the frame and your head at the top. Um, from past experiences, I've never done that, but I like the idea. I see where you're going oh well so i'm sorry i um i underestimated your experience you've sent videos of you smashing your dick to women i have yeah i've actually i have i kind of like it only girlfriends though i kind of like the way you're talking about it so you just show your hog and

do you include volume do you include audio oh yeah for sure do you grunt yeah baby baby yes okay and then so in your wait you guys have never done that oh no i have i have cool but my face is i don't send hard video of the face included but in the times where i've had um multimedia sex i i'll do a quick close-up of the ween but then i go back to i i switch back and forth or i get a wide where you can see it all i think i've only done face for like nude photos, but definitely if I'm jerking it, no face. And then you've gotten good response on this.

Oh yeah. Big time. Big time. Kind of like a lot, like a long distance kind of thing. So, so it's pre-recorded, not on FaceTime.

Um, I've done both. So you just think you got it all figured-recorded, not on FaceTime? I've done both. So you just think you got it all figured out? No, dude, I'm not saying that. Just for the situations that I've been in, it's been well-received. And when you say well-received, what does that mean? Like she'll send something back. Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah, dude, it's sick. And then when you get something, I've done that with, yeah, no, continue. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. No, I cut you off. When you get something back, are you using that to do what you were doing in the video? Are you using that to come? Or is it just cool to have? i think it's just cool to have i think it starts off with like dirty texting and then to kind of amp it up a little bit also in the video

and what's your angle on the dirty texting do you have like a persona dirty texting do you have like a persona um the jizz burglar dude i just fucking let it flow i like this guy i like this guy a lot um do you ever feel skeptical about the size of your load and you're like i need to redo um oh mom lems i think i think i think it's less i think it's less about the load honestly right yeah we were talking about that i think just the act um and then uh do shout out to big lou subscribe sorry we can get onto your ish but I just got one more question. Cause you seem like you are the man quite honestly. I, what was my question? I just wanted to tell him that. Yeah.

Oh, do you send them, do you send them unprompted? No, no, no. Usually what happened like when we're like dirty talking, texting. It's you kicking it up another notch to quote emerald yeah 100 and it's like i've been in long distance relationships so it's a nice little it's a nice spicy touch it's to keep it alive yeah and you got to keep things interesting um what's your what's your question um um well so yeah dude i have quite the dilemma um so i'm back on the dating scene and i've been ripping hinge i've been going on a bunch of different dates um most of them have been

uh not great but it's always good to get at best, like nothing wrong with that. They just haven't really clicked. And then finally, I went on this one date with this chick who was a total babe and so cool. And like, all the dates that we were on lasted like five hours, ton of the same interest. We're flirty, but we're not too flirty. We have a lot of same values. She's just super cool. I love hanging out with her.

You guys are going to love this. Well, I love this. We went on a sushi date for the second date, which was so sick. this we went on a sushi date for the second date which was so sick and she was like yeah i don't really i don't really love like the wine list at the sushi place so is it cool if i bring my own bottle and she brought this like sparkling red bottle and i thought that was such a fucking move um and yeah dude we've just been like really hitting it off. It's been really great. Um, and it's like, I just feel really excited about it. Like I like her.

I mean, I like her, but I also don't really, you know, know her that well. It's only been like three dates anyways. Um, finally, so in the, so yeah, we had a ton of like really, really good momentum. And then on the third day, she's like, I have some bad news. And I'm like, fuck, like, what is it? She's like, I have to go to New York for three weeks. And I'm like, no, this is such a bummer. Like, I feel like we have like a lot of really good momentum.

I obviously didn't tell her that, but I was like, oh, like, that's gonna be really fun for you. to him i obviously didn't tell her that but i was like oh like that's gonna be really fun for you um and so kind of i'm just like wondering like what's the right amount of communication like i want to give her space like let her have fun in new york with her friends obviously um but i also want to like kind of keep it alive you know keep some of that momentum going flirt a little bit um and then obviously like pick it back up and she gets back. I mean, what are your guys' thoughts? I think it's really a good sign that she said, I have bad news. I'm going to be gone for three weeks.

Cause I think that means that she's also going to be feeling that loss. I would probably, and this might be a bit too like the game but i would probably not text her that much i would maybe find like a couple really great moments where you send her a maximum impact text that's like catered to her like it's like something you know about her like like for instance uh when me and my my my lady when we were first dating i went away for a comedy festival and i don't want to text her too much but i know she's a huge mark maron fan and he was there so i shot him from the other end of the lobby and i was like hanging out with mark but it was clear we weren't hanging out but i was like oh that that'll let her know i'm like thinking about her in like a substantive way but uh but i didn't hit her up a ton and uh i know it's gonna be tough

and you're gonna be thinking about her a ton and just wanting to like reach out and squeeze her but uh i think it's okay to feel those things without always articulating them yeah i i agree i think less is more here i think uh only text when you like jt is saying only text me have something like good and meaningful to text i think um i think uh you know you you want her kind of i think ideally you want her reaching out more you don't want to be the one kind of chasing her i think you're still in that place where i think you kind you want her reaching out more. You don't want to be the one kind of chasing her. I think you're still in that place where I think you kind of want her to be reaching out a little bit more.

And just because for your own sanity too, I know the feeling when you like, aren't going to see someone for a while. And then you're kind of like in this situation, like how much should I text? And then you kind of get anxious or overeager and you're like oh i think if i don't text them they'll think i don't care about them then you text you don't hear anything and you're in a fucking whirlwind of anxiety

it's just like oh i'm such an idiot i text i ruined everything know i think you know send if you don't hear i think yeah send like one or two a week from you i think that's right yeah i think oh you were thinking one or two a week okay i was yeah from you what are you thinking like one maybe the whole time i was thinking like maybe one a week well like i so i did text her first like five or so days afterwards oh man we're totally fucked here no no no dude don't say that um i was just like hey i was just thinking about you like how's new york and we were chatting a little bit and like shooting the shit. But I haven't texted since then, but I definitely liked the idea of just kind of like making them very like

more impactful rather than just like checking in kind of thing. So you texted her five days after she left. Is that right? Yeah. And then you guys chatted and then you haven't talked since. Right. Yeah. That sounds Right. Yeah. That's what sounds right.

Yeah. I think that tension. It felt right. That's the thing. It felt right. Yeah. And I think there's always that. I think that tension's good where you're like, oh man, like, is this person going to forget

about me? Are they going to meet someone else when they're out there? Like, is this, is this once in a lifetime thing just slipping through my fingers? Like if you're feeling things like that, that's all good and it'll work out but you just got to trust that it's supposed to work out right and it yeah it's okay that like and it's okay for like some of that momentum to kind of die down no i think it's natural yeah okay yeah i think i think the worst thing you can do here is over texture and come across as like desperate or over eager yeah and like needy like you're like please tell me you like me and it's it's too early for that you have to kind of do the

annoying bullshit human like competency dance yeah so i i think yeah i think air on the side of yeah i definitely do that whenever you have that anxiety i think air on the side of not texting i think you and just know that you'll be okay and trust in that these uh you know the rest for time there will pass and then you guys can meet again and you know pretty soon you're gonna be sending her videos of your hog and then and then you get to do the cute thing where like when you guys are like dating a year from now and uh you're you've just fully opened up you go i gotta tell you when you went to new york for three weeks i was losing my mind yeah like i wanted to text you everything she's like no you didn't yeah she's

like i was so pissed you barely text me i was ready to be done with you and you're like oh yeah sure and then you guys can like banter but but like uh yeah you just gotta wait a year yeah and she texts you follow her lead yeah you're like all right you want to text i'll text but then you could do also the trick of like you're texting for love be like all right i gotta go lift weights or whatever you know i gotta shut it down yeah i gotta go smoke a cig on the pch that is fun she finally gives you what you want and then you're like actually i gotta dip i gotta weight lift i'd love to talk but i'm in the middle of a huge business deal closing deals i don't get about this guy dude you start you know what man you sound like a great guy it sounds like uh you've you've done enough dating you know when you like someone and it's good you're excited about someone so just just enjoy the ride brother yeah yeah i'm definitely

yeah trying to play it cool but um yeah dude she's sick and she was like three blocks away from me too. And she loved Blink-182. Whoa. Yeah, dude. She's so sick. Dude, one thing you can do is like put on your Instagram story. Don't be obvious. But once in a while, just like if you're doing something sick, show it off. If you're with your buddies.

If you're with your buddies hanging, if you're like wakeboarding or something, show that off. Show're with your buddies if you're with your buddies hanging if you're like wakeboarding or something show that off show that you you like to have fun and you don't need her to have fun but you know maybe she'll want to join you yeah no i feel better i feel better about this um i'm glad we're in agreement of kind of like it's better to under text a little bit than over text for sure yeah yeah because she will be back here soon she'll be back super soon three weeks ain't that bad and uh yeah and the excitement will still be there yeah yeah i think so too 100 you're an exciting guy. I was going to say this too. You're not acting cool. You are cool. Thanks, bro. I appreciate it. You guys are so sick. I love listening to your podcast.

Thanks. Love you too, man. Have a good one out there. Thanks for calling in. Yeah. You sound awesome. All right. Thanks, boys. I'll speak to you soon. Talk soon, man. Are you guys going to be in San Francisco soon? We were just there. Are you in the Bay? Yeah, I'm in the Bay.

I'm from San Diego originally, though. I could tell on your voice. That's sick. I think we probably won't be back there for a while because we were just there. Next year. I'm always listening, so I'll keep an eye out for it.

Sounds good, brother. Alright, thanks, boys. Really, so I'll keep an eye out for it. Sounds good, brother. All right. Thanks, boys. Really appreciate it. Thanks, man. Thanks for calling. Should we just hop into another one real quick? Yeah.

Hello? Hello. Hey, what's up, man? What's up, guys? How's it going? Not too bad. How about you, boys? Good, man

Yeah, it's chillin' Chillin' Can you hear me alright? I don't know Yeah, you sound good, brother Tell us Hell yeah What's going on? What's the sitch? It's a little bit of a long story, but

Yeah, so anyways, like About a year ago or so out to golf with the boys afterwards getting dinner, like four of us, one of the boys says, Hey, uh, I was just out to dinner the other night and this girl comes up to me and like, Hey, uh, a friend of yours. And I hooked up the other day and I know he has a boyfriend or has a girlfriend and feel super guilty about it so she told him my buddy and then at dinner he's telling us about this because now he feels super guilty for knowing and then but he he makes a pretty big deal about us not saying anything because he just he just wanted to let us know just so he wasn't alone in knowing but obviously

didn't want to say anything to our buddy who's caught up in all this and then so we decided you know like hey we don't know the full details he's really adamant about us not saying anything. So kind of just let it lie. We, we pushed him a little bit like, Hey, you should really talk to him or talk to his girlfriend. You know, probably a good thing to, to get above board on. And then say about a month and a half ago, I find out he accepts a job out of state. And obviously he's wanting his girlfriend to move with her, with him. But she, she like does not want to move. Doesn't want to approve her life. Has been asking him to not take these job requests, like not even interview for him. And so then I kind of bring it up again with my buddy, like, Hey, you should really push through. Like, I know it's gonna be a weird

conversation, but I think, you know, this is some life altering situations here and, uh, and he doesn't want to do it. And so then kind of through some mutual friend channels, I end up talking to his girlfriend, one of her best friends, kind of let her know what's going on. She talks to the girlfriend. They talk. They break up. And then it kind of all comes back that I'm the one that spilt the beans, per se. And since then, it's been super weird in the group.

No one's responding to my texts. No one's trying to hang out. Just been, just been real weird. Why, why did you guys all feel like you had to get involved? I, so at first it was just like the morality of it.

Like, Hey, we know one of our friends might be cheating on his girlfriend, not the right thing to do. But like I said, that was about a year ago. And we kind of decided to just let it lie, especially because since we heard it secondhand wasn't, you know, firsthand information, we didn't really feel like it was our place. you know, firsthand information. We didn't really feel like it was our place. And then once I found out, Hey, he's moving to Denver,

she does not want to move. She's like begging him, like not to move, but she's going to move with him regardless. Cause she doesn't want to break up with him. But it, you know, they have this relationship that's in my eyes, like not based on lies, but there's this huge seeker within it. And so then that's when my eyes like not based on lies but there's this huge secret within it and so then that's when i was like hey i think she probably she really deserves to know this if she's about to uproot her life move four or five states away or a place where she doesn't have any friends doesn't know anybody uh for a guy that cheated on her and she doesn't know it. Hmm. So it's kind of a,

kind of tough situation. Like I, I don't know if I, just for some clarity. So, so you talked to him and asked, and you were like, Hey,

you need to like break it off with her or tell her about the cheating. No. So our buddy with like a group of five or six of us my friend found out because the girl that had whatever cheated oh my gosh so hard to not use names. It makes it so much more confusing. The girl that he cheated on his girlfriend with told our friend, a different person, that friend who found out told us, but said, under no circumstances can we say anything. He doesn't want to be involved. He feels guilty for knowing. So that's what he told us. And that's why he just felt like he got it off his chest. We, you know, the three of us really pushed him like, Hey, you should either talk to the guy, our friend who did the cheating or talk to the girlfriend that got cheated on.

And he just pushed on the rug, kept saying no. And then even, you know, a couple months later, kind of made up a lie about it. Like, Oh, actually, like I talked to him about it and it was a total misunderstanding. That didn't actually happen. They hashed it out. And he told us that as sort of a way to just drop it. Like, hey, don't bring it up anymore. Don't talk to our buddy about it. And so that was another part of the issue is that once this all came out, once I did talk to a friend of the girlfriend, obviously she was really pushing to know who had this information originally.

And I held off until they were having the conversation itself. And then when she's like, hey, to know is this real information then i said hey it was this person who told me why didn't you go straight to your friend and tell him that you didn't approve of it and that you thought he should say something for mostly for me it's because he and i out of all the group are the least close um he was roommates with my buddies so they're all a lot closer and at the time they're roommates which is why we're like hey you you know this should be your not responsibility but like you're the one who has the first hand information from this girl

you live with him like this is you know really pushing him and then i didn't really feel like it was my place because our friend who knew made it such a big deal that like even talking to him like don't bring it up at all because i think he was afraid that our friend would be mad at him which feels very childish in my mind but i was trying to respect his. Are you close with the girl? Not super close. I mean, we're mutual friends. Known them for four or five years now. Not super close, but I am close with a lot of her close friends. You know, it's all very weird to me.

I guess maybe you did do a morally good thing. to me i i guess maybe you did do a morally good thing um in my mind it's i i just i think the best thing you could do is just stop being friends with the guy but stay out of it all together like well and that's kind of what happened because he said he did take that job and he moved away and they did break up. And so she stayed. But since that's happened, the rest of the friend group, the guys have just kind of been pretty unresponsive to me. And because,

and then I think the one guy who originally knew kind of feels like our trust was broken, which I totally get because he did make a really big deal. But it's, to me, it sort of seemed like hey this isn't our secret to keep like we're adults if this was one of us if I you know heard through mutual friends that hey buddy like your girlfriend might be cheating on you like I'd

absolutely want to tell him and I'd want everybody to know or him to know and to like be able to handle the situation and same for me like if my wife was cheating on me and somebody in my close friend group knew about it and everyone decided to not tell me you know that feels like a pretty messed up situation in itself yeah i guess the difference for me in that scenario is that... It's your friends. Yeah, it's your... It's not... Ideally, it'd be her friends who would tell her, right?

Yes. I think that's the problem is no one knew. Well, I think it's weird that your one friend knew and then told all the guys in the group that someone had cheated um yeah that is weird and then i think it is weird that you took it upon yourself to tell her um i think you probably saved her some trouble which is good but um yeah and then and i think why, again, like this original conversation with the four of us happened almost over a year ago now. And that was like, we said, we really pushed him because he was the closest to the situation.

Like just have a conversation with him to a, even find out if it was true. Cause just this lady that you kind of know told you these things without a lot of confirmation and then because he he was so adamant about not telling her and or not telling our friend or a friend's girlfriend and so we were like okay like we I didn't want it to be my responsibility I didn't think it was my responsibility and that's why we kind of just let it lie and then you know again once it's this whole moving situation and it's already a pretty volatile was he situation and look like cheating's cheating it's bad no matter what and on a deep level she does deserve to know was he but was he cheating on her actively or was it a one-time thing i don't really know i guess because i never

got the details of the situation i know that when i talked to this friend and i had originally just asked her some questions i said hey like we're you know was this girl out of town around this time last year and all these kind of things and it's like yeah she was out of town you know do all these pieces of information line up and then that's kind of things. And it's like, yeah, she was out of town. You know, do all these pieces of information line up? And then that's kind of where the conversation started. So she, his girlfriend was out of town for about two and a half weeks or three weeks or something like that last year before they moved into with each other. And then, you know, even if it was one time or multiple times, like, again, I don't, I never got those details, but I was within that timeframe of her being out of state. Yeah.

I guess, I guess on some level, I feel like you're a tattletale. I know. Oh, that's what I feel like. And that's why I held my tongue for a year. And then I felt like, Hey, like like this is she is my friend too like i guess we're not super close but close enough that i care enough about her life and you know emotional health situation this is a very basic are you into the girl no definitely not i'm married i like i met her pretty far on you're married and you got involved in this I know dude and I and so that was a part of the things too is my wife is friends with those people

and and I told her about it and so she's also like hey like this girl needs to know oh so your wife was putting pressure on you to say something not really she wasn't like pushing me like i had already felt like within my own you know soul like hey this is the right thing to do and not in like a i you know gotta be the big whatever correct person here but just you know again if the situations were reversed in any other way like dishes that i would want to know or anybody in these situations would want to know yeah i think i just on some level though i think you just kind of gotta stay out of people's business yeah uh for sure you know it's like i don't know you know it's uh yeah i i it's just um

you don't you just imagine you don't you don't like this person's there's no about on the same level you don't want your friends meddling in your whatever you're doing behind your back you know what i mean no because everyone makes mistakes and you don't want to bring someone who you feel like you can't look cheating is a very bad mistake but like there's a huge range of things we do that we don't want to be judged on and it would be hard to invite you on a guy's trip after this for sure well and that's so that's the thing so after um you know whatever they knew about it the people involved they had a conversation and i and then he actually called me

and he was super like cool about it which was very off-putting to me the the boyfriend he was whoa yeah and he and he was super cool about he's like yeah dude like i'm like seriously not mad like it's definitely my mistake to make and it almost sounded like he was relieved to be in this situation. Yeah. And I think that's what, where I was like, cause I, he texted me like, Hey man, like, can I call you? And I was like, Oh, like ready to have this big conversation. And then, then he was on the phone with his girlfriend and they were just,

you know, because again, I, well, then it worked out. I guess, I guess the thing would have been to tell him you, Hey man, I know I'm an outsider here, but I feel like you owe it to this girl to tell her the truth because she's about to move for you. That's a big life decision and she shouldn't move on a lie that that would have been the courageous thing to do. And then if he said, look, man, stay out of my business, blah, blah, blah. I think at that point, I, you know, that's's another choice but i think you should have just gone to him for sure and

that's i guess that's the secondary part in the because he did move and you know i think we're probably at a similar place that we were before because again it seemed surprisingly chill about the situation but the problem is now it's it's the other side it's the boys or it's like i i wasn't trying to like morally high ground anybody i wasn't trying to go behind their back and then even before i did end up talking to the friend i texted him i was like hey like this is where the situation's at and all this stuff and i i think again he was only mad because he thought that our friend was going to be mad at him because they're pretty tight and I was like I and he and again the friend that did

cheat even told me like hey let him know I'm not bad at all like definitely like not pissed at him don't like it's not ruining our friendship or anything and so I thought that would kind of put a a gentle thing where like yeah i'd probably have to work to get back in the graces like rebuild the trust because i mean we've known each other for like eight years now almost and but now it's just there's been like pretty much no communication with the friends that are that i am closer to that are still here in the state where it's like, there's occasional interactions, texting.

Uh, but I, you know, I don't really know how to go about this now. Like, I, I don't know if I'm supposed to text like, Hey,

like, sorry that I fucked up in this way or like broke your trust by telling them. But I really felt like it was the right thing to do. And like, I would hope that you can like, I don't know, you know, I don't know what to do from here.

I think I would refrain from saying, I think it was the right thing to do. Like, I think, I think, I think, I think just, I think just,

you gotta, in my personal opinion, I think you just gotta kind of like give space from the whole thing and, you know, go do something with your wife or i don't know yeah i think i think just some separation here yeah you know because about a month and a half yeah it's just okay well yeah i think you know just i think just um i don't think anything you say to the group to the dudes is gonna like anything saying like saying something like i i you know i hope i didn't break your trust but

i thought it was the right thing to do kind of that would just be like i don't know that would be that would be like if if the guys got that they'd be like i i don't think he gets it yeah so yeah no and i don't want them to think again that i'm still like doubling down on like you're you know you guys are the absolute i'm not trying to have you been in a lot of dude crews like throughout your life no this has been like the one and is it new or it's so it's eight years yeah it's college were you mostly friends with like girls? No, not really.

That's why, again, this is just the first time this situation has ever popped up for any of us. You've never had, you've never known a guy who cheated on his girlfriend before. No, dude, that's what I'm saying.

This is literally like first like i grew up in a small town how old are you go to college uh 25 yeah i i'm that personal opinion i think you should just be like dudes i fucked up i should have gotten in their business yeah i'm sorry i created drama yeah yeah i'm not even gonna look at the chat i know they're complaining i was all i was all helping what's his name show his dong to his girlfriend i was trying to be involved there oh dude yeah i mean i was trying to be a bro. Oh, dude. Yeah, I mean... I was trying to be a bro. Dude, I think that... I think you should step away from this drama. You know, just divorce yourself from it.

It's done. It's over. And make some J.O. videos for your wife. Yeah. Let's nurture that. I'd let the dudes come back on their own time. Yeah. Yeah, and it seems like it's already headed sort of that direction. Like, there's... I'd let the dudes come back on their own time. Yeah.

Yeah, and it seems like it's already headed sort of that direction. Like, they're talking about the Celtics, Mavs, finals. Like, you know, haven't talked at all about NBA. That's kind of our thing. Yeah. At least there's been some responses in the group lately, but... Yeah, I think it's like the texting guy with the girl. I think less is more here you know don't like ghost them but like don't you know and on on some level if what you what

matters is what you believe if what you believe if you think what you did was morally correct then you should feel good about yourself and understand also that oftentimes when we do something brave like that there's consequences like the community might not always like it but you hope in time that they'll come around and see why you did what you did yeah yeah i think that's a really good point and i i think that's what i've been wrestling with is like the because i you know not that i was like looking for a positive response because I really wasn't. No, that would have been crazy. Yeah, no, I'm not an insane person. Fellas! You know, Carl slept with that chick two years back.

I finally told his girlfriend. You think everyone's going to high-five you, put you on their shoulders? Hooray! Well, and I think because I've never been in this situation, I had no idea what to expect and so now it's because it's almost limbo just being in college like so everyone's cheating on everyone in college like did uh you well none of them had girlfriends in college were you like a it's it's kind of i guess i don't know i don't want to make it's not like my my friends aren't even skeevy but just being around like college and like seeing all the different

friend groups and everybody and people make me say it's like you like i guess it's just it's curious to me that it's so brand new to you at 25 is let me does this help i've been trying to say like at least an uh ambiguous as possible but it's such a specific situation that if anybody who knew was listening that obviously know who i am but we all went to like a pretty small private christian university yeah that's the vibe i'm getting like did a lot of you guys lose your virginities late and like into like people you ended up marrying and stuff like that so i'm the only one who's married and i did to my wife so right yeah i think you came from the other guys really weren't like they you know even within college like i wasn't a huge party animal or anything so those you know like they were fucking like i like obviously like that was even though we went to this school this wasn't like a you know they're

not super repressed or anything i just no one had girlfriends during school and then it was like you know covid towards the end no one's seen anybody uh and no no one's been in like a permanent relationship here's you know i'm gonna quote troy movie troy on this go home prince drink some wine make love to your wife tomorrow we will have our war um yeah i think go home drink some wine make love to your wife and just give this thing time. And, uh, and yeah, I think, you know, maybe, maybe do some paintballing, maybe find, you know, I don't know where, where can you say where you lived?

Do you mind? At Minneapolis. Oh, dude. Oh, good town. Are you in Saskatoon? Huh? I don't know. I was just naming Are you in Saskatoon? Huh? I don't know. I was just naming a town.

Saskatoon? I'm downtown Minneapolis in the Big Apple of Minnesota. Yeah, go play some hockey or something. Just like, you know, if your buddy ever gets pulled over by the cops and he's popped one too many beers, you don't have to tell the cop. No, well, dude, I think that's the thing too is i've always been the guy in the group that people do tell stuff to because i am like you have lost that that bad i have now after after you know this situation but before i like i never

cared enough about anything that i was being told to like i don't care about passive or like you know using other people's information as interesting conversation starters so i think you know again because this is really the first time i found myself in this situation like this moral conundrum it's gonna happen a lot i feel like stuff like this you know people make mistakes not even just the cheating like a million things people make a lot of mistakes and uh oh yeah and i think the best thing you can do is just keep personal distance keep your side of the street clean let them deal with it and just keep it moving yeah yeah i think next time you hear some some uh some some shit like that about one of your friends and be like, damn, that's crazy.

And forget about it. See no evil, hear no evil. Yeah. To an extent, look, if one of your buddies is like, if one of your buddies is like a, like a... Serial killer? Like, yeah, exactly.

Then still don't tell his wife. I could do that yeah you hear something damn that's wild you're just not supposed to tell on dudes to their wives too that's just like it's kind of like not to get into

like man law bro code but we've been here for 25 minutes it's uh you're just not supposed to do that man i know i know i that's what's a good guy i know that i made the mistake of breaking the code but then i don't know it's just an impossible situation but you but i know i fucked up here You made the mistake. You learned from it. That's life. Now you know what to do next time you hear some wild shit and time will heal. Go drink a

Saskatchewan brew or whatever they have in Minnesota. He doesn't drink. Oh, you don't drink? No, I drink. I work at a brewery, dude. Oh, he works at a brewery. Brewery. Dude, where's some connection? Now I don't want you guys to think i'm a pussy you guys no no you're good dude you're good man dude what's uh what's the name of like a milwaukee brew uh well here in uh grain belt

that's like the minneapolis nice grain belt beer that's like our milwaukee finest yeah have a grain belt yeah have a have a grain belt joe chirp go chirp at some high schoolers call them bitches and and uh that's my friday night that's hell yeah dude all right brother hey you be easy on yourself all right it what happens happens you're a good dude, man. Just hang in there. Yeah. You're a legend. I appreciate it, boys. Appreciate it. All right. Love you, brother. Love you too, guys. Man, that was a wild one. Should we end on that? Yeah, I think so.

I like going deep on these ones. yeah it is a tough situation i mean especially if he grew up in a private catholic school there is that pressure of like sin right like some people get that really like strong pressure on their on their mind and their body of like i need to be the right person i need to be like a you know morally right so it's understandable but yeah it's kind of hard to go against your bros you know yeah and i don't want to be just like oh look i think women probably would have the you know i don't think i expected any of my ex's friends to like tell me my worst qualities about my exes you know what i mean yeah totally i wasn't like oh if like

i do some if victoria does something stupid her friends are gonna tell me i was like those are her friends oh yeah i would never expect that yeah yeah it's like the yeah it's i don't even know if it's a guy girl thing it's just loyalty to who your friends are who your people are if one of my girlfriend's friends called me to say something like that i'd be like i think probably worse of the friend i was just thinking that in my head i was like i'd be so i'd be like so hurt but i'd also be shocked i'd be like have you secretly hated her this whole time yeah like i would it would make me wonder about their thing too people are the roasting was pretty hilarious yeah there was a lot it's hard not to laugh i know he's like he's like i know dude and meanwhile we got rotator chip like this guy should see a

gynecologist he's a nice like if that's the worst thing he does he's all right yeah he's a good you could tell he's a good guy yeah just you you're not going to cabot with the guys i think he like kind of maybe that's probably why he was calling in right he kind of felt like he did something wrong or like yeah i think he feels ostracized yeah like he knows that like maybe there's another i i know he's listening so i don't want to break his heart, but there might be another group chat now. And it's like Bad Boys for Life is the name of it. And he ain't getting into that one. He'll be back, though.

He'll be all right. No, he'll bounce. He's a good dude. He'll come through the other side. He'll bounce back. Okay, but if he's making a new male friend group, you would tell him not to tell the new guys that he did this. No.

This goes to the grave. Yeah, exactly. You you don't say anything this guy's a steel trap yeah you don't say anything like you guys don't talk about this but can you imagine you're like applying to a new friend group and they're like so why'd you leave your last friend yeah it's like this guy i barely knew uh cheated on his girlfriend once and i told his girlfriend yeah the guys would be like what oh dude is he on here now we're in the chat i'm sorry sorry man uh so why why did that um that's Oh man. Thanks for calling in though. Giving us your honest truth. That was brave. It was brave. Uh, awesome.

All right. Thank you guys for watching. Yeah, that was fun. Shout out to the chat guys. If you are listening to the pod, go on our Twitch. It's so much fun. Um, Chad and JT go deep on Twitch. And yeah, dudes late if you need advice

these guys are really nice