Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 35 - New Hair, Recounting Hape Experience, Ben Affleck
Episode Date: September 12, 2018In this episode, we emerge with our newly bleached locks and discuss the feelings surrounding them, recount our hape experience with Troy, go to major lengths to defend our dawg Ben Affleck, discuss J...T's venture back into the single life, and, as always, name legends, beefs, babes, quotes and reviews of the week. This is a fun one, stokers. Dive on in. Bonus Content: www.patreon.com/chadgoesdeep Subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/
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what's up stokers this is chad kroger coming in with the going deep and chad jt podcast with my
compadre jt par what up dude what up dog uh this is episode 35. How you doing? Dude, I'm good, man. How you doing?
I'm good, man.
Yeah.
You're looking blonde, dude.
Right.
So Stokers, when this comes out, we'll have gone on Fox News to fight for our cause, which
is to stop coral bleaching.
Coral bleaching is what happens when the water gets hot and the coral bleaches itself, which
is like a near-death experience for it.
It makes it susceptible to death.
And so we bleached our hair in solidarity and to raise awareness.
Yeah, we're raising awareness for our dogs, the corals,
to stand in solidarity with the corals and say,
What up, dudes?
What up, coral?
You're not alone.
We're bleached with you, dog.
We got you, dude.
We're just as susceptible.
And maybe we'll be the last people who have to get bleached
because maybe coral will stop bleaching.
Hopefully, dude.
And hopefully it becomes a movement, you know, like the Ice Bucket Challenge.
You know, you've got to challenge people to do it, to bleach their hair,
to raise awareness, and to save the coral.
So hopefully the entire country is bleached.
Yeah, I mean, if you went outside and everyone had bleached hair you would change whatever needed to change to make that stop
the coral would be like all right let's adapt to these rising ocean temp well i mean like people
would be like why is everyone bleaching their hair oh for sure they're like because the coral's
bleaching and they're like stop the coral bleaching yeah you think that would cause enough an uproar yeah but i just think it's um
it's a sight i uh i'm stoked for i'm stoked to raise awareness i'm stoked to
let the coral know that we care about it we we love it and uh you know bleaching is something
that we can all go through together they don't have to be alone
they can you know because i want them to keep supporting the economy i want them to keep
you know fish alive i want them to help nemo find whatever the fuck it is nemo is looking for i want
them to you know help create waves i want them to help you know break you know monsoons and shit. So ecosystem. Yeah.
What does eco stand for?
Ecological?
Tight.
Maybe.
Economy?
Echo?
Oh, yeah, probably.
How do you feel having bleached hair?
I feel good.
I've been getting a lot of looks.
I feel like Draco Malfoy, so I feel
kind of bad. You know what I mean?
I feel like I can get to
some naughtiness and people
will be like, wow, I was totally expecting you to do that.
I think before with the brownish hair
people were like, it's kind of
sweet, but now they're just like, whoa, dude, you're out to
cause a ruckus. And I'm like,
yeah, I'm up to some swashbuckling shenanigans
with this shit.
Yeah, a lot of villains with bleached hair.
How are you feeling?
You know, it's been rough.
Yeah, you didn't look too pleased last night.
You canceled some dates, is that correct?
Yeah, I'm single now,
and I've been going pretty hard at the apps. And, you know, I really got to watch it
because I can waste too much time on them.
And I set up a
couple dates and i think i'm gonna have to postpone them because i think coming in with this bleached
hair is gonna put a ceiling on how good of a time we can have but at the same time i might not and
i'm kind of excited by the challenge it's like if i can have a good time with someone with bleached
hair i must be a lot of fun dude if you own it if they're like what the fuck and
you're like yeah what the fuck and you own it they're like wow yeah that's what i'm gonna do
the amount of confidence in this guy is so attractive i just need to bone him right now
well yeah i mean i'm gonna wait a couple dates to bone um but i but i want that energy there early and often.
It's challenged my masculinity a little bit where I find myself a little bit more defensive
about my masculinity since it got bleached.
I think I'd be more likely to get into a fight
with bleached hair than without it
because I think I'm overcompensating.
Well, now you know how the coral feels.
Yeah, the coral probably feels pretty naked and bare and vulnerable and maybe a little
emasculated yeah the coral is you know coral needs a boost in tea right now not that there's
anything wrong with it it's just it doesn't look great on me like i thought it looked really good
on kanye but um dude i i think it looks good man i i believe that when you say it to me too and it
means the fucking world to me man and i think yours looks good as man. I believe that when you say it to me, too, and it means the fucking world to me, man. And I think yours looks good as well.
Thanks.
But it's not a shallow sacrifice.
Dude, I'm digging it.
You love it.
I love you with it.
Well, I mean, I went to a sex item meeting before this, and when I walked in, I did laugh a little bit because I was like, you know, I'm in there with all these adult perverts, and they're looking at me like I'm the weird one.
Yeah.
You know, I'm in there with all these adult perverts and they're looking at me like I'm the weird one.
Yeah.
Dude, let's do a quick recap from Sunday, too.
The Hoppe experiment.
Oh, yeah.
Hoppe.
That was intense.
Super intense.
At first, I was pumped because I got super high energy.
And I was like, oh, this is like.
Dude, you were jacked at the end of the pod.
Yeah, I was like, all right like dude you were jacked at the end of the pod yeah i was like all right here we go you know uh but the thing about hoppe is uh it makes you feel everything
so you're like high energy then you're like whoa i have like every emotion coming in at
one time right now and i need to sit down i'm also sweating um i'm also like uh you know
wedding um i'm also like uh you know nauseous becoming one nauseous becoming one with the amazon troy is there just with his like crazy ass energy um and uh i just need to sit down i've laid on the
couch for like you could see in the video too uh at first i was jacked and then then you were
freaking out and then you can see in my face
where i'm just i go completely inwards in my head and i'm just sitting there like blank face just
like you can tell every thought is just going across it's like a super highway of just every
emotion just no no no no i'm just like oh fuck did i was that because like did i negatively Did I negatively impact your experience? Maybe.
Yeah, because I was freaking.
Yeah.
So it's tough to know.
Maybe if we did it apart.
Although next time I think I'll be more prepared and more cleansed because I already went through the experience.
Well, there's the physical experience of having it go up your nose and into your brain is harsh.
It's harsh.
Yeah, it fucking hurt. then and troy's like look
at my eyes and you're like oh fuck and his eyes to quote the sopranos tony one time was getting
mad dogged by his like a psycho cousin richie april and then he goes quit giving me the manson
lamps like charles manson's eyes yeah and that troy kind of had that like psycho presence and
like certainty yeah but he was cool guy and then um
yeah once it went on my nose and i've become a hypochondriac because i've had
freakouts on i've done too many drugs in the past and it's fucked me up so much that i'm
i'm like worried something bad's gonna happen like i broke kind of like a threshold in my brain
and the hoppe really brought me right back to that yeah but then it was good because i threw
up a lot and then troy was like, dude, yeah, good.
You're doing good.
Good.
That's great, JT.
I'm just like vomiting in a trash can.
Yeah, you were purging a lot.
Yeah.
And then we went upstairs and we just talked about everything, man.
We talked about, you know, friends.
And I just talked basically about like inner conflict.
Like, you know, about like wanting to be self-accepting, but also be ambitious.
And like wanting to love people, but also needing space from people and, like, and just, like, you know, the need to be, like, honest but then also the need to, like, protect yourself and other people.
It was tough.
Well, you're a walking dichotomy.
Dude, for sure, for fuck.
And it was, Troy was, he was like like you're doing some great work right now JT
that's some great work yeah and he'd stare straight into my eyes and I literally looked
at him and I went yeah dude I just don't know how much I can trust people in general like
no disrespect but like you like I think you might be fucking nuts he didn't blink he was just like
I was like respect yeah I do I couldn't even talk I was like on the couch for a while, and then I came up,
and you guys were talking, and I was listening.
I couldn't even talk.
I was so, like, nauseous.
But he was talking about the yin and yang.
Yeah.
He was like, you just got to live with it.
You got to live with the evil.
And I was like, oh, that's a good point.
He was right, dude.
A lot of his advice was right.
Yeah.
Because he's like, you can't just, you know,
everyone wants to shut out, like, the anxiety or whatever.
And it's just like, you just got to ride with it.
I think that's the point of those Amazonian drugs is to, like,
teach you just to, like, ride with the flow of life.
Dude, you're right.
And not, you know, if you're feeling anxiety, just be like,
I can't feel this anxiety right now.
And then you're, you know, and then it becomes worse and worse but if you
take some hoppe straight up your friggin nasal cavity then you'll be like oh i'll just ride the
anxiety and it'll be fun yeah and like and then you don't have a choice like you're along for the
ride not that you're not that you can't like control your life but you can't control how you
feel all the time yeah then i told him i was like dude i don't know if there's like a belief system
or a person who can give me all the fucking like answers i need
and then he was like there's not and he's like so do you know what that means and i was like you
have to be that person for yourself and he was like yes i was like fucking try dude dude he
he looked healthy dudes yeah like when he was in the room his hair and eyes and feet he had the healthiest
looking feet i've ever seen they were so tan and like strong looking yeah all that pee and then
we also got to say like dudes like we had an interesting experience on the hot bay but we
really don't know much about it and like if just be careful i would tell people to be very wary
i uh yeah the whole time i was just super nauseous and
i also had a virtual reality date later that day so i was mostly nervous about that i'm like am i
gonna be able to make it nice with the girl i saw you with last night yeah oh dude chad is um
you know springing into some romance here. I was just doing virtual reality.
Yeah, I hear you.
But you love virtual reality.
We've done raw data before at the virtual reality arcade.
It's a lot of fun.
They have a new one called Beat Saber
where you have a lightsaber and it's like Guitar Hero,
but you lightsaber through,
it'll be like an arrow pointing to the right
or an arrow to the left,
and you lightsaber to the right, and it'll be like the correct beat to the right or arrow to the left and you light
saber to the right and it'll be like the correct beat for the song whoa it's so much fun you got
to do it how is she at it she's good i was stoked i was watching closely i'm like you did well
you pat and i was like to the i was like to the virtual reality people i'm like she passed yeah i was like a type
nice so yeah passing those levels dude beat saber you know we killed robots stokers on dates do fun
stuff kill robots play with lightsabers go on water slides go parachuting go eat milkshakes are you
guys gonna hang out again i i just think so yeah i don't like to divulge here jt i know but I think the pauses say a lot yeah yeah yeah
the gravity of the situation
is explained in the moments
between the moments
what up
my dog is glowing
well how are you feeling now that you're
single?
if you don't mind me asking
it's good dude you know I'm like
I miss her.
It comes in waves, you know what I mean?
I definitely think we made the right decision.
We needed to break up.
We were fighting too much.
I mean, you knew it.
And then it was just, it's hard to make that decision
because I really did love her and I knew she loved me,
but it was not healthy.
And I was starting to take pride in the fact
that we fought a lot.
I was like, we're passionate passionate and you start rationalizing bad things because you just for one you get used to and for
another thing you you want to think you're in a good relationship you know but yeah like so
earlier today i was like literally walking to the gas station i was like skipping i was like man i
am happy to be single i'm gonna tell all these dudes at sex i mean how happy i am to be single and then as i was like buying water i was like
i should call her and then i was like that's just the way it is you know what i mean the walking
dichotomy yeah and because i really do love her but yeah we are not right for each other so i gotta
let it go and then i mean that's not to say that i've been like, just like, you know, crushed and pining for her.
I kind of wish that was the case
because I loved her so much.
I want it to matter so much to me,
but I've been like hitting the apps hard
and like messaging different girls.
I went on a couple of dates.
I'm definitely engaged in the dating world.
But yeah, I mean, I do think I've been happier
since we broke up.
I hope she's happier too.
Well, props to you for having the strength to make that decision.
And you do seem lighter, I'll say.
But, you know, I know it's tough.
So props to you for you're a strong dude.
Well, and it's also patterns, you know what I mean?
I've noticed a pattern in me where whenever I jump into a new paradigm,
there's a lot of excitement at first because i'm
like oh this is new and i'm kind of free of the last thing because like when we first got together
and became like a couple and we're committed to each other i had a big boost of energy too yeah
you know what i mean yeah but then the new reality starts to set in the the contradictions and the
hard points of of any you know of any way of living and then uh and then hard points of, of any, you know, of any way of living.
And then,
and then I start to kind of be like,
Oh, I kind of want to revert,
you know what I mean?
Yeah.
But so I just got to,
and you know,
I haven't been watching porn.
That's been huge too.
I got a lot more self-esteem because of that.
I've been good on like the porn front.
Oh,
that's good.
Yeah.
Dude,
that really does make a difference.
I think.
You feel so much better about yourself.
Yeah.
When you,
when you,
for me,
cause I have a problem. So I feel better cause I'm, I feel like I'm fixing about yourself. Yeah. When you, when you. For me, cause I have a problem.
So I feel better cause I'm, I feel like I'm fixing the problem.
Yeah.
Um, what about Ben Affleck, dude?
Uh.
You've been, you've been keeping tabs on this.
He's having a rough time, Stokers.
He's, uh, in rehab.
And then I guess he left rehab to go work out, but then he met up with like a playmate
in his couple of hours out of rehab oh really yeah what's uh so i know he went to rehab he
went to rehab he broke up with his girlfriend who was a producer at saturday night live you know
he's been split up from jennifer garner because i guess he gave in too much to his demons of like
partying gambling and infidelity and then um jennifer garner actually had a a um intervention with him and got
him to go to rehab and i i just i just uh there's like ben at the center of the story and i'm i'm
pro ben you know what i mean i think he's awesome i love the way that like he's had these peaks and
valleys of his career but he always comes out of like these tough moments with like you know uh
like a renewed vigor and he makes like these tough moments with like you know uh like
a renewed vigor and he makes like great movies wins an oscar and stuff like that yeah and then
he kind of back slid back into the bad behavior but i relate to it um not winning oscars but just
uh even when things are going good you kind of want to blow it up and he um and so he's back in
rehab and everyone's kind of just like everyone's trashing him and I'm just not okay with it.
Like, I'm just like, it's Ben, dude.
You got to, of course he's made mistakes,
but once you're my dog, you stay my dog.
Yeah, dude.
Dude, totally on your side.
Totally on your side.
People need to lay off you know he's got demons clearly uh clearly it's something that he he's battling he can't control you know i mean he's
a force to be reckoned with and yeah forces to be reckoned with have some demons and uh i don't
think he'd be ben without it so you know that's what I think. It's all part of the package.
Yeah, let him do his thing.
Keep your business to yourself.
Go drink a fucking mimosa.
It makes me so mad.
No, but I'm with you.
Yeah, everyone was clowning on Bieber for that while.
And maybe he was acting a little douchey, but he's going through a phase.
Then he bleached his hair.
He stood with coral.
He was the pioneer of that and
then he makes some hits and all the people all the critics are just like sitting there back there
like oh i wish i had an album made in purpose dude i totally agree i think ben like he knows this too
like if he comes back with a hit all will be forgiven oh do you know what i mean he's gonna
come back with a fire hit yeah and so if he he can even level up from where he was with the town and Gone Baby Gone
and Sword of Argo, but not as much, to the next level even better,
I mean, that's going to be unparalleled kind of artistic output.
If he can go from the town to the state, that would be epic.
Right.
Make it bigger.
Yeah.
So he's robbing like-
Bigger stakes.
He's robbing like cryptocurrency or some shit.
Nice, dude.
In Boston.
And then wearing a nun outfit the whole time.
And please put Jeremy Renner in it again.
He was so good in that movie.
Dude, Jeremy Renner is shrinking.
What do you mean?
In every movie, he gets a little bit smaller.
Why do you think that is?
I don't know.
The pressure maybe?
But he's about 4'10 right now.
Damn. But I love you renner no disrespect and at 4 10 you would still double leg me and rough me up
so you know all respect to you dog and swat and the hurt locker and the town and uh tag
dude that new york times article about a a splinter agent in the Trump administration.
Yeah.
Dude, I mean, the article itself was riveting.
I was like, dude, this guy is living in a high-stakes world of cat and mouse with dire consequences.
Yeah.
It must be weird to be living a movie.
Who is your babe of the week?
My babe of the week is Mark Wahlberg.
I think this might be the first time I'm doing a dude.
Dude, I follow Mark Wahlberg on Instagram.
This guy gets after it at 3 a.m. every morning.
He's looking jacked.
He's looking even more toned than ever.
He is just getting it after.
Inspired to be better, Mark.
Inspired to be better. He's always repeating that's always repeating that inspired to be better inspired to be better
you know he's just i just i want to get to that point you know i want to have my own
gym in my house and i can wake up at 4 a.m with trainers eat chicken and just get after it in the
morning and then just go play golf and go crush a movie and by crush a movie i mean filming it i mean he's always been a
babe from boogie nights to from marky mark to boogie nights to planet of the apes to perfect
storm to ted to whatever the fuck else he's been he's been a lot of shit invincible lone survivor
yeah heart huckabees shooter shooter yeah. Shooter. Yeah. Four brothers.
Four brothers, yes.
I love Shooter a lot.
We're missing some.
I've always tried to be like his character in Shooter.
Italian job.
Italian job.
I've always tried to be like his character in Shooter except on the beach.
Oh, dude, I like that.
Yeah, because he's in the snow a lot in that one.
Yeah, he's in the mountains, which is tight, but prefer the beach you know i'm not a big mountain guy you know people like
oh you just want to be in the mountains i'm like but it's cold i heard peter berg say this about
him um he said uh mark's one of the only guys that you can have look weak on in like a scene
and he still seems manly like he can be scared and still seem manly yeah
who's your babe my baby of the week is um it's a every girl i've ever dated hell yeah um thank you
guys and i hope you're all doing well and um it's all the girls i've ever danced with too i love
dancing maybe more than boning apparently nikolaola Tesla didn't bone, and he invented electricity.
Right.
When you're grinding with somebody, man, you're just locked in public space.
People can see you, but all you can see is that leg between your two legs and vice versa.
And you're just hitting the swerve together,
a little sweat, pulsating music.
Fuck, dude.
All right, dude, who is your legend of the week?
My legend of the week is Amazonian jungle plants.
What up, Amazonian jungle plants,
or more specifically, amazonian jungle medicine what
up i just wanted to say props to you guys thank you guys for being the kind of plants that um
not only help heal but help us access our full emosh um and i think it's really tight that you
guys is that you plants decided to um do have the ability to enable soul searching and to let all types of
emotion come up not just bad but also the not just good but also the bad and put them together into a
full-on yin and yang um and just it props to you guys for just like existing and allowing us to
get spiritual as fuck and just to bond with some really stellar dudes
hang with shamans um you know and really discover what's going on inside and uh so amazonian jungle
they're just freaking legends dude what's your legend my legend of the week is um
all the uh girls who who didn't dance with me
because they taught me a lot too.
I love that, the idea that not to force people.
You can't force someone to like you.
You can't, ever.
And you can't conform who you are to try and match what they what they what you think they like
because then you're not being yourself and then they won't even like you even more dude there was
this girl loray and uh she invited me to like one of her company parties and like we were kind of
like on a date and when i got there she like didn't want to hang out with me she was like
literally ditching me so i was like all right i took an adderall and then i started hanging i became like the coolest guy at the party and
every time she came up to me i was talking to like four people and she was very impressed and
then we went and did karaoke and i ripped genuine pony so hard i was like being like super sexy and
the whole bar was going nutty and then after that we got some chinese food and we told each other
secrets and we went back to her place and cuddled so i was like oh man i did it i won but i was so stuck in this like adderall hyped up phase
that even though i was in a good position after that i called her too much when she didn't like
respond the way i wanted to i tried to like keep talking to her until she would like get on board
and all i did was alienate her and then she ended up like basically ignoring me you know what i mean and
rightfully so i was a fucking weirdo over intense idiot you know what i mean just calling too much
and texting too much just calling too much and texting and when i was talking to her like i
would be like come on like get on board with like i'd be like basically just like i'd keep talking
until i felt like i had like really impressed her in the conversation oh you know what i mean like
i was trying to blow her away every step of the way.
And it's just like, if I just would have been like a little more myself without the Adderall,
just a little more reserved and patient, it probably could have worked out.
But I was trying to control it so bad that every time we talked, I was like, here's the
full, like, I'm not just a Chinese restaurant.
I'm a Chinese restaurant, an Italian restaurant, a French restaurant.
I'm an In-N-Out.
I'm like, I got it all. Look at all this food i can and she was like okay yeah that's a really
impressive dinner i'm gonna go like somewhere where i'm not like overwhelmed with dishes
is that metaphor i think so sick um dude that was tight oh legit thank you dog hell yeah
i love it yeah love it That's profound
Alright should we do our beef of the week
Who's your beef of the week
My beef of the week is with automatic
Transmissions
Okay
I like it
I like driving stick
It's better dude
You're more in it
I like driving stick stokers I learned on stick It's better. You're more in it. I like driving stick, Stokers.
Okay, I learned on stick.
I love stick.
I want to drive stick all the time.
You know what I think?
I think that automatic transmissions are a big detriment to society.
Why?
Because they teach us not to pay attention.
They teach us to be complacent.
They teach us to not care about the road, to care about our cars, to care about the rubber, to care about the asphalt.
You know what I mean?
The relationship with stick is way more intimate.
You're engaged.
You're feeling the road.
You know what's going on with your engine.
You know what's going on with RPMs.
You know when you can push it to the limit.
You're engaged with driving.
You know what I mean?
If we, whoever invented automatic transmissions
can eat a big giant dong you know because yeah
i went there and i said it i said it because you know what dude like if it wasn't for whoever you
are they might hear this yeah if it wasn't for whoever you are there we wouldn't probably have
wouldn't have texting and driving you can't text and drive when you're driving stick and it's just like it's so much
fun when you get to just like and you just understand yeah you're like okay i understand
my car you develop a relationship the engine sounds cooler yeah but now we just get in the
car and you just push a pedal and you just like you're sitting back like almost sleeping you know
it's just like it really bums me out, you know,
I don't like this automation thing, you have, just, like, get in there, get raw, get real,
you know, grab that stick and fucking jam it into first gear, you know, don't just, don't just,
you know, push that weak-ass button and move the thing, and you're like, all right, I'm in drive,
and then just press go, and not have any respect for like henry ford and all those other dudes you know i've always wanted to
be more of a car guy but it's so complicated that you know every time i try my brother's big car guy
shout out to mark what up i love you dog dude whenever i get into a friend's car for the first
time and if they have stick there's always that moment where i'm like whoa stick dude my next
analog man my next car
is gonna be stick oh i can't wait to ride with you in it dude it's gonna be fun maybe we can do
that fun thing too where you let me shift it while you drive dude no don't do it what's your beef
dude all right my beef is kind of like a very nuanced one it's um so there there's a very
popular sports writer named bill simmons he's probably most well known now for his podcast,
the Bill Simmons podcast gets great guests.
I love listening to it. He does really good interviews.
Um,
but he was originally a sports columnist and,
uh,
though he's easy to consume and,
and always fun.
And he got a huge audience.
And then he,
uh,
he parlayed that audience into starting Grantland,
which was a good sports coverage website that also did like pop culture.
And then he did, um, and then he had to leave espn he got fired for criticizing roger goodell the
commissioner of the nfl and then he started the ringer and then he um he had a tv show on hbo
called any given wednesday i think it was bad it was one of those things that was like bad
from like like the ads were bad for it the name was bad the show was bad you're like oh this is
just like a misfire but i like that he took the swing. And then he's like a
huge sports writer. Then there's this other sports website, Deadspin, that I always go to
that always has really funny takes. Like every day they have like five or six new articles that
are just hilarious about stuff in sports. And they're really good at picking on people. Sometimes
I think they're too mean, but I go to the website constantly. It's like my main go-to website.
on people. Sometimes I think they're too mean, but I go to the website constantly. It's like my main go-to website and it's, it's funny, but they always pick on Bill Simmons and it's weird. Cause
they have a bigger readership now than Bill Simmons has at the ringer. But like, I looked
it up on Google today and like, there was like 10 articles from this year that they had about what a
joke Bill Simmons is, how bad of a writer is, how stupid his takes are. And I'm just like, I don't
get it. Like, and the weird thing is like Bill Simmons is sarcastic
and then they're sarcastic.
So it's them being sarcastic about his sarcastic thing.
And you're just like, this is also inconsequential.
Why are you guys fighting like this?
Like it makes you look bad.
And yeah, just, it makes Deadspin look bad
that they always go after him.
Cause it's like, it seems like you have a,
like you're, like you're jealous of him
or something like that.
And they don't need to be.
Maybe they're jealous because he's such an individual star
and the people at Deadspin are more of a collective star.
But that might just be my reading of it.
And then I also think Bill Simmons never talks about how Deadspin picks on him,
but he's got to know.
And I just wish that they would acknowledge that they're both so similar.
They're really not that different.
And so when they're picking on each other, or when deadspin's picking on bill simmons it feels like
they're just picking on themselves it's like having problems with like your big brother or
something like that or like your younger brother no i didn't mean to make you the diminutive one
deadspin um and yeah it's just a weird beef and i wish that they would just you know save all their
sarcasm for another target but this like media beef that they have is just not chill.
I love it.
Yeah, so that's my beef of the week.
Great stuff.
I love his podcast.
Bill Simmons, yeah, it's good.
I like his movie knowledge.
He's got great pop culture knowledge.
They always make fun of him because they say he goes to the same go-tos.
And it's like, yeah, but he was the first one to go to those go-tos,
and they were the right things to pick. want to do an ad yeah this podcast is brought to
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I got an ad for UCI Baseball.
My friend Danny B. is a coach there.
He's super jacked.
He's got a kid coming.
He's a great guy.
He's going to be a great dad, and he'll coach you up good.
So if you're a good baseball player or just a student looking for a good college to go to, try UCI.
They should call it UC Newport Beach because it's right there beautiful okay this uh this review of the week this comes
from loves the rain one subject and lightning and it says this podcast solves all the major
world problems if more people listen to this, the world would be a better place.
Thank you so much, dude.
All right, dude.
Should we get into some questions?
Oh, I had one too that I'm sorry
I forget the name of the stoker,
but someone messaged me and said,
what is the ideal Poke Bowl
for someone who's never had Poke?
uh i think you gotta go tuna your first time around oh for sure as the base yeah yeah
depending you know i go salad base but depending on your dietary preference
i'd go wasabi shoyu i throw some uh some kind of aioli in there i think that really adds to it
don't go too heavy on the toppings.
Get those crispy onions, get tomatoes, get edamame,
get some kale,
throw some lemon juice in there, avocado,
and you'll be amped.
Do you have anything to add on it?
Yeah, I would say just make sure you go to a good pokey place
for your first go-around
because they've got kind of like a fast food version of it
popping up everywhere, which is solid,
but you just want to make sure
you go to the best of those ones too.
You know, for me, it's a brown rice base,
some really good tuna,
maybe spicy tuna if you're into that.
You got to have avocado 100%.
You got to have avocado.
And then like Chad said,
I keep it simple with the toppings.
You know, I get some crispy onions for the texture,
maybe some macadamia nuts.
And then like a good house show you if you want a simple flavor.
And then if you want to go bigger, get an aioli.
Love it.
All right, dude.
Here we go.
Hey, Chad, big fan of the pod.
You and JT put a spring in my step each week.
Thank you, dude.
I'm willing to express some thoughts and frankly concerns from one of your recent Daily Motivates videos.
Specifically, it was your showcase
of shooting and weightlifting skills
from your day with your older bros in Westchester.
Based on the pathetic display put on by your brothers,
as you correctly pointed out,
you are clearly the alpha of the family.
I'm especially disappointed in the effort
and lack of lifting abilities of your brothers.
One could guess that they've been playing
too much bag tag over the years,
and the result is a very low T count in each of them.
You clearly showed them who's boss and you didn't even break a sweat,
and they were wet, puffy messes.
Their stomachs looked like big balloons being rapidly filled in and out with air.
I also found it especially rude for them to have that little dwarf in pajamas
call you out like that.
No doubt he was paid cash to say that you weren't the toughest in the family. Also, in case
I get any pushback on my criticism of their
poor technique and panting showcase each year at Thanksgiving,
everyone in the family gets to hear
my speech about how I was the first in the family to put up
two plates back in 1999.
I always give credit to
the Limp Bizkit song, Rolling, which I was
listening to on my Sony Discman and Velcro waist
pack that glorious spring day at the
UC Davis Rec Center. Anyways, I just didn't want this to go unnoticed. Keep up the good work and I'll
see you at your mom's house sometime soon. Love always, your cousin Ev. Legend of the Week, July
2018. What up, dog? Also, big shout out to my main man JT and Strider. Keep stroking, keep stoking,
fellas. Thank you, dude. Dude, Evan, thank you so much, dog. You really just crystallized what was
going on that day. Domination on my part, you know? And yeah, I think there was some foul play
on their ends too, you know? My brother, I'm sure he, you know, bribed my nephew to say that I wasn't
tough. You know, I'm the youngest one, so they're always going to clown on me first. But you know i'm the youngest one so they're always gonna clown on me first but you know what
they're clowning on me because it's domination so thank you cousin ev for pointing that out and
being on my side and just dominating those plates first in the family you know he shout to limp
biscuit and shout to your high t levels can't wait to see you soon, Coz. You're the best. Do you think if you're the alpha of the family,
you will be a more effective alpha than your brothers would be?
Yeah.
Michael Corleone, dude.
Chad and JT, what up?
My name is Duncan, and I come to you sage stoke gods in need of some advice.
I'm super into this girl in my sociology class.
I ran into her at a major day fiesta, and dominated the ice leaders together i decided to ask her out for a
date it went well and we boned we were both stoked on the sesh for our second day we went to the gym
because i wanted to see her do some olympic lifts you dog i wanted to see her do some olympic lifts
but she can't do any she can't squat clean and jerk or do a deadlift i don't know what to do
here we have a super close connection but i need to know that she can lift help me it's tough dude he's gotta
if you really care about her here's the thing it's not her fault she wasn't in athletics you
know maybe it just wasn't what she was into at the time or her parents didn't stress it or whatever
her reasons but just because she doesn't know them doesn't mean she can't learn them. You know what I mean? So maybe my dog needs to – I'd spring for a PT class for her,
a personal trainer for her.
Oh, wow.
So she could learn.
That's a big move.
But help her out.
But help her out.
Yeah, this is your chance to introduce her to full-on lifting.
It could be way better than if you met someone who's better at lifting than you,
although maybe that would make you improve.
But this is the start of your relish.
You can make her more jacked than anyone
because you're the guy who introduced her to lifting.
Send her a lot of YouTube videos of like those jack dudes lifting.
I would recommend getting somebody else to teach her so you don't get unless you're really good at it and you know how to explain it.
Those are tough moves to do.
So don't just assume you can do them.
You know, get a pro.
What up, Chad and JT?
I'm a chick listener.
I recently had a summer fling with a guy we both knew would end when we had to go to college.
Things were good between us the whole summer.
We vibed hard at parties, stayed up late talking about cool shit,
went on adventures, and we were good in bed.
The problem is at the end of summer,
I sort of ended things early because I'm an idiot
and I wanted to see if he would fight for me.
But he kind of just gave up and we ended things kind of negatively.
And I got super bummed and blocked him,
but then regretted and unblocked.
And I went to see him in person later to gain some clarity
and he said he wanted to stay friends like we planned. So I thought things would be chill, but he kind of ignored me. Yeah, it's a quote with the game. making choices that um aren't valuing the other person enough so they're going to inevitably want
to take space from you yeah it's like cool with the games you know just have an honest talk with
him and lay it on the table be like this is what's going on but uh i still really like you and i want
to do deadlifts with you and um you know i think if you're just laid on the table and you're honest with him
that's the best chance for a positive outcome but if you're blocking him on block you know
it's just like it's just gonna be a tug of war of a boner of boner jams yeah
and i would say maybe your instinct to let him go is a good one like you don't want to
jerk somebody around too much but i'm not one to talk i've made that mistake before but yeah you know if uh if you're
going to keep going back and forth on this person you know give them a break let them go so that
they can move on what up chad and jt i want to express my stoke for the major influence you bros have had in my life as of late.
I recently began the battle against carbs and am in a state of ketosis.
Anyways, my name is Topher and I recently found myself in a major conundrum.
Over the summer, I've been home from college and recently linked back up with some babes from high school.
One babe is going to my college next year, so I thought I'd give her a college preview.
But when I arrived at her house, I saw her friend as she was leaving.
I instantly decided I would rather hook up with her. i called her mega babe friend the next day and it
ended up going well and me and the mega babe had a great time but the piece i was originally hunting
doesn't know i don't want to cut off the mega babe friend but i would also like to have a solid
piece to take down to school do i come clean to the original piece do i continue to hide my secret
relationship with her mega babe friend from her or should i throw the hill mary and go for both so was he hooking up with the mega babe before or wait um i'm confused can't can i see it
okay so her friend he wanted to hook up with one girl but when he went over to her house
he saw her friend and then he ended up hooking up with the friend but he still wants to hook
up with the other girl when she comes to his college the next year and
the other babe is not coming to his college no but he's more into her but but he also doesn't
want to lose out on the other one so he's just wondering if he should tell the one girl that
he's been hooking up with her friend or if he should keep it to himself well i mean dude yeah
see here's the thing in the short term it would be better to not tell her because then you'll
probably hook up with her at college.
But then if she finds out, she's going to be hurt
and then she's going to not like you
and she'll have good reason for it.
So I think the actual better long-term move
is to tell her the truth that you hooked up with her friend.
And then if in time at college she wants to hook up with you,
she'll have had all the information
and you won't have to feel bad about it.
So I would tell her.
I concur. Yeah. I concur.
Yeah, I concur.
Hey dudes, I'm just going to jump right into it.
I do a good bit of weightlifting and have gotten these ill ingrown hairs on my legs
from the barbell running against my leg.
The real issue is that my buddies have started referring to it as herpes leg,
which isn't a good look when you're out at the bar trying to kick it with some honeys.
I can't tell them that this makes me feel self-conscious
because that'd be a weak-ass move,
and due to my quads being my strongest feature,
pants or longer shorts are not an option.
Appreciate the help, your boy Dave.
I'd own it, dude.
Just be like, yeah, I may have herpes legs,
but I don't have it on my dong.
That's a solid clarification
yeah hey dogs i started listening to your podcast and i'm still on early episodes they are great
and pass the time thanks dude i write because my work life sucks dick otherwise i'm doing great i
am tall six foot eight dude with a smoking wife and huge dong my job sucks though i don't know
what to do but my stoke levels are really low if you were in a shitty job what would you guys do quit it's tough yeah because i would quit but my parents
helped me out you know yeah so my authority on this is a pretty minimal i would say you know
my parents like encouraged me to just pursue my activism
and they were confident that it would pay off i don't know like you know if you're if you're
living with the wife you have someone else who's dependent on you and you know if you guys have
kids you got more dependency and that's gonna force you into this job more so i would say don't
take on more responsibility don't buy stuff you don't need that's going to make you have to keep this job to pay for it.
Put yourself in a position where you can take a chance.
And then I would leave this fucking job.
Yeah, maybe just like my dog Gary Vee says,
if you need to support yourself with a job that you hate, do the job,
but then start to pursue the other thing you want to pursue when you have
that free time,
you know,
time is valuable,
you know,
and you got to use it right.
And yeah.
And congrats on the huge dong,
man.
I was going to say,
dude.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
You're already doing great,
but I think that speaks to his,
his potential.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
He's six, eight with a smoking hot wife and a huge dong.
People like that do well in life.
Yeah.
I mean, in all respects, including on the job front.
So don't be afraid of, you know.
Swing it, dude.
Swing it.
Hello, fellow Stokers.
I'm Colton from SLC.
So yesterday I had the wonderful experience of masturbating for the first time.
Except, I don't really know how to masturbate.
So I put my wiener in the top of a shampoo bottle.
At first it felt amazing and it was the best.
And then my wiener went fully erect and it got stuck in the bottle because my wiener was so erect.
My penis is still stuck in the bottle.
It's been a couple hours since it happened.
I can't tell my mom, so I'm asking for your help.
What do I do?
Well, dude, I'm not sure when you sent this email, so I'm asking for your help. What do I do? Well, dude,
I'm not sure when you sent this email,
but I hope it's still not stuck in the bottle.
But in the off chance
that your dick is still stuck in the bottle,
I think what you have to do is...
What?
Okay, so the problem is
that his dick is still hard.
Yeah. That's why it's stuck in there. But that his dick is still hard. Yeah.
That's why it's stuck in there.
But if his dick went to limp size, it could slide out.
Oh, shit.
So look at a naked photo of your grandma or grandpa.
Yeah.
So key thing here is you want to make your dick smaller.
You want to shrink that dong.
And the way you do that is you let the blood flow out of it,
You want to shrink that dong.
And the way you do that is you let the blood flow out of it and you don't get aroused by lewd images.
You want to look at images of your grandma's floppiness.
Yeah, maybe she doesn't even have to be naked.
You can just picture her naked from a regular photo if that's not handy.
Yeah.
Or your grandpa.
And then if you end up getting aroused by that, well, then we got bigger stuff to talk about.
So it's kind of a win-win situation.
Maybe go to Ikea.
That always makes me soft.
Why?
Just too much shopping.
Too much furniture shopping, I guess.
It's hard to know what to get there.
It's too overwhelming.
I'm like, this is Swedish and there's furniture.
I don't know what to do.
Colton, so if you do have that kind of reaction to oversized retail stores then that that could be your answer dude what up JT parties the hardest and Chad broading him Chan broading him the first nice I wrote in a couple months ago
asking you guys for ideas on what to name my upcoming son As luck would have it
JT's suggestion of Cole Thomas was already taken by my friend
Peer and co-worker of five years
Named Cole Thomas from the LBC
Shout out Long Beach
Dude that's so fire that I came up with a fire name
And you already had a fire bro with that name
So anyways we had to go rogue from your suggestion
And choose the name Raphael
And we'll call him Rafi
Yes dude Unbeknownst to baby mama but knowns to me from your suggestion and choose the name Raphael and we'll call him Rafi. Sick. Hell yeah.
Unbeknownst to baby mama, but knowns to me,
he's directly named after Rafi from the league.
My question is, should I divulge to his bio
mama that I secretly chose his name after
most legendary and lovable scumbag of all time
or should I keep it under wraps until he's
old enough to discover Netflix and chill on his own?
Just keep it to yourself, man.
Keep it to yourself and get stoked out by yourself you know if you're
driving in your car you just be like rafi yes i know why i named him that and then she can have
her own reasons be like she named him after the tennis player because he has huge biceps
exactly who was almost my baby of the week this week because the stoker sent it and was like oh
yeah he's in a t yeah yeah his arms are amazing they are amazing and i love that he won at
wimbledon when people didn't think he could.
But yeah, let everyone have their own interpretation of why they chose the name.
And here's my thing.
Here's the burden I put on you though, dude,
is that I don't think you should tell anybody else
because then you're having fun at the expense of your wife's ignorance.
Like if you're bragging to your friends like,
oh, I named him after Rafi from the league and she doesn't know,
that's going to hurt her feelings if a lot of people know about it yeah you know what i mean and if it was like if it was a source of humor and fun for you that you kind of
got one over on her but if you can just keep this secret to yourself and only you know it
and the kid got a legit name out of it and you're still protecting her in a way i think it's all
good dude hell yeah what up chad and jt I come at you with a serious topic. Women.
I just started college and can't get over the fact
of how many smoke shows are on campus.
So I guess I come to you with this.
What can help me become the man on campus
and how to pull the most beaver over the next
four short years? Love the
pod, bro. Stay stoked. Fuck Puzio.
Wait, you said what's the best way you can pull
the most? Yeah, he wants to pull the most beaver
over the next four years
be your own man
if you're known as a dude who's always just like chasing chicks
I think that's kind of unattractive
but if you're like this guy who's just like
a magnet for fun and good times
and good studies
and just like always tapping the keg, but always hitting the library.
But always just, you know, life of the party, but life of the classroom.
And good to his parents.
Just a solid dude that has a good future ahead of him.
That's just, you're going to attract all types of ladies that way.
Yeah.
Dance hard, you know, always be there to play some pong and stuff and crack jokes
but don't have this stuff come at the expense of other people don't have it come at the expense of
your own well-being and you know listen to these listen listen to people everyone do just practice
good listening and and practice empathy and then just be fun man and then if you if you do that
and if you can do that without expectations if you can kind of somehow subvert this needing to get beaver stuff and put
it away, then I think you're going to have a big, beautiful experience, dude. And there'll
definitely be some chicks involved, but if that's what you're into, but yeah, man, just, just be
cool. Be nice. Be fun. Hell yeah. You can do it, dude. Everyone can do it dude everyone can do it you got this
all right guys now for our final segment we are going to do our quote of the week this is a slight
expansion from what we typically do it's not just going to be filmed this week there's also going to
be music tv and maybe even just something you heard but this is the the quote of the week oh it's just quote i guess or like song lyric yeah i i specifically wanted to do a song lyric
because i was in starbucks before this and i heard the song my own worst enemy by lit
and it caught me so pumped because it's like this dude getting so jacked up about asking his
girlfriend about himself and he's just as frustrated and bewildered as anyone as to how stupid he acted when he was drunk please tell me
why my car is in the front yard like i just love the line please tell me he's telling his girlfriend
he's like please tell me why i'm such an idiot but he's also talking to himself like can my drunk
stuff tell me why i do this stupid shit it's like maybe not dude but you're asking the right
questions beautiful and he's frustrated he's like please please tell me tell me why I do this stupid shit? It's like, maybe not, dude, but you're asking the right questions.
Beautiful.
And he's frustrated.
He's like, please, please tell me.
Tell me why.
Please, why did I do this?
Tell me why.
And it's especially timely because I had a stoker reach out to me that he had a bad blackout and that he like kind of drove his car with his friend, like trying to get him out of it
because his friend knew he was drunk and like he tossed his friend and
everyone's okay,
but everyone's pissed at him.
And I just want this stoker to know,
and he was genuinely contrite and he wants to make it better.
And the hardest part about when you black out like that is that you're,
you freak out over how you act.
Like you can't believe you did the crazy shit you did.
You're like,
that doesn't sound like me.
Like I would never do that stuff.
And you have to reconcile that stuff.
But just remember that we all do stuff that will haunt us but it will not define
us so we can all have our blackout night you know let's try and keep it a single didge but
you'll get past whatever you did and you just got to be better that's the important thing remember
it's just something that happened and as long as you can move on and better it'll be all right so lit thank you for those song lyrics that describe
that situation that stoker is feeling that you felt that i felt where you're just like man i
got hammered and i don't even know i could be that stupid i love it i love it i uh shout to lit uh my lyric is uh it's from the jagged edge song where the party at
yes dude great song the lyric is where the bacardi at mix it with the chris baby what is wrong with
that that's the line yeah oh my god yeah dude is fire. What's wrong with mixing with Chris, dude?
What's wrong with that? And that's just like, dude, find your own party, man. Don't, you know,
just make your own party. Party the way you want to. Get your fucking rocks off the way you want
to. If you have a bottle of Cristal and you have a bottle of Bacardi and you want to mix the two
of them, don't let society tell you you can't. Because Jagged Edge says you can, first off.
Second, you don't have to listen to society about what drinks you can mix you know party the way you want to party and just freaking get down you know enjoy yourself this life is fun have fun
can you imagine if some dude walked into a party he's like hey where the bacardi at
and then he's like you know what mix it with the chris baby what's wrong with that hell yeah
is that it i think that's it all right guys that is episode 35 of the going deep in chat
jt podcast thank you stokers so much for writing in for uh being stokers for just being amazing
people uh just so much support from you guys and you guys are just awesome stokers awesome fans
and uh we love it So keep doing your thing.
Check out our Patreon
for bonus content,
patreon.com slash chadgoesdeep.
If you need advice
These guys are really nice
You wanna know
What to do
Where to go.
When you need someone to guide you, there's always the happy bird beside you.
Go in the deep.
Go in the deep.
Let's go deep.
Go in deep. Go in deep. I'm going deep
I'm going deep
I'm going deep