Going Deep with Chad and JT - EP 375 - DRAFT - THE COOLEST JOBS

Episode Date: January 8, 2025

Today we are joined by Strider and Kevin to draft "The Coolest Jobs"In this snake draft, each bro will make 5 selections and will give a dank reasoning behind each one to get the judges approval. Today we have a LIVE chat voting and we also call Mr.Cream aka Aaron to see what his decision on who wins is.  LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW ON WHO YOU THINK WON!! We are live streaming a Fully unedited version of the pod on Twitch, if you want to chat with us while we're recording, follow here: https://www.twitch.tv/chadandjtgodeep Grab some dank merch here:https://shop.chadandjt.com/ Come see us on Tour! WE JUST ADDED BRAND NEW cities going into 2025!Get your tix - http://www.chadandjt.com TEXT OR CALL the hotline with your issue or question: 323-418-2019(Start with where you're from and name for best possible advice) Check out the reddit for some dank convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChadGoesDeep/ Here is the Total Draft Standings: (s/o HandA on reddit)Chad: 8 wins JT: 8 wins Strider: 8 wins Chris Parr: 9 winsBrad Fuller: 1 Win (The Ultimate Champ)Joe Marrese: 0 Wins (THE PEOPLES CHAMP)Kevin Fard: Going for first LEGIT win Thanks to Our Sponsors:HomeChef - Best Meal KITS! Get 18 free meals plus free dessert when going to https://www.homechef.com/godeepHIMS - Take care of your hair loss . Get a free online consult TODAY! https://www.hims.com/godeep MagicMind, Easy Rider, Botanic Tonics

What's up dudes welcome to the podcast we're drafting today coolest jobs in the world Make sure you stay tuned in for that also if you're watching this on youtube make sure you like subscribe comment do all that stuff Also, we are coming to a city near you. We are back on the road. We're going to be the comedy store january 13th And then we're going to be in cincinnati on january 22nd January 13th and then we're gonna be in Cincinnati on January 22nd, Cleveland the next night, Toronto the next night. Then we're going to Fort Worth on the 31st, February 1st we'll be in Dallas and then we're going to Raleigh, Charlotte and Atlanta. Guys, get your tickets at ChadAndJT.com. Then we got Hawaii next month, Honolulu, Bozeman in March, Lansing, Michigan, Houston, Texas, and more coming your way.

So make sure you get your tickets at ChadandJT.com and enjoy the show. Did you ask us to do this so you could wear that? Now we need, try to change it Did you ask us to do this so you could wear that? Is that new? Well I was feeling the Leather Daddy And I thought everybody should feel that vibe I like it I thought just if everybody had a leather jacket we'd all be like It does feel cool Like a group of Leather Daddy

It looks good dude, it looks'd all be like this looks good it looks a little tight but it looks good it's a great change yes this actually Stephanie's chain I got a little I got my own bling I want that thing dude. Strap. How does that thing work? Whoever wins the most recent draft carries it? Yeah.

Love that. Oh it's your draft championship. Okay. Dude I just f**king cracked up here dude. That's sick dude. What up? Dude you know where it's at? Tequila shots.

Oh yeah the best. Dude cause you, I had tequila shots on Christmas. I did not get hungover. You were drinking nice. I was like, this is the salooche. Yeah, not Cuervo. Good stuff. You know my favorite tequilas?

Casa Azul. Siete leguas. Oh yeah. Siete leguas. You're probably, that's in a, what is that? A Naho? Is that what you sip on? Well, I like the repasado. Repasado, that's what I was gonna say. Which is that? A rush? Uh, a nejo. Is that what you sip on? Well, I

Like the repasado repasado, which is like an in-between you can shoot this you can sip this It's it's perfection, but you don't see it in the bars a lot up here. I get in Mexico Jake Do you have any tequila? Oh Damn shit, man. Jake. Can you take one shot just solo? Jake can you take a shot just solo? Yeah, I'll rip one with you I've ever had booze on this on the on the pot have you ever taken an ass shot We had wine back today. That's a very nice tequila. Oh Don Julio. That's a very nice tequila 1942 all right should we start off with your tune? Oh old man, huh? Joe's dong, look at my arm, it's as long as you are Joe's dong, look at my arm It's as thick as you are

Joe's dong, look at my arm, four feet long but there's so much more. I can't stroke my arm, I can't make it shoo goo. Joe's hogs such a cog To a lady that can jump that frog Unlike my tiny chode, never make it through Joe's dog take a look at my arm, it's slip long like you Sorry guys Just don't take a look at my arm, it's long like you It needs someone to stroke it the whole night through Just one look at his eyes, it's as thick as you are. Woo!

Yeah! That was awesome. That was beautiful dude. That might be one of my favorites. Yeah? And you know what? I think you're a DILF. I am? Yeah? Yeah, it's a total DILF move to rip a classic rock like that. Everything he just did is DILF.

Yep. Kevin, are you DILF? I think I am. I'm a lot like you. I don't know, do you wanna fuck me? Ah! Ha ha ha ha ha. What about JT there? Is this double DILF action?

I mean, he's got the strap, of course he's a DILF. I mean, yeah, it speaks volumes, just sitting there. Yeah, that's understood with the strap. But dude, you're a friggin' DILF daddy. You're a rock star. Chad's got bottle service style going on over there. Very cool. Thanks dude. And I'm just posting up with the Bruce Garini

and JT's the champ. This is a cool dude, dude. You look like you just dominated the craps, craps dude. That's exactly what I'm going for. I'm up right now. I'm super into craps right now because I played craps a bunch on the cruise. At the pass, baby.

I love craps. Oh, you went on a cruise. Oh yeah, I saw that. Craps right now because I played craps a bunch on the cruise. Oh, yeah, I saw that Crap is a fun benevolent game because you're cheering for everyone. Yeah, you're stoked. You're like dude. We're all on the same team Yeah, go on a heater. I love this guy, dude You know what? I had beginners luck so I was rolling. Oh, yeah, and I had a great role I was going for like 40 minutes. Did you really? Yeah, I would have loved you Hey, and I was like my sister was teaching me. She's like, you're making them a lot of money. I was like, oh yeah, let's go fellas.

Were you pushing your bets too? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pressing, what do they call it? Yeah, I was pressing, but I wasn't putting bets on any other numbers. You were pressing the pass a little bit. I was just pressing the pass, yeah. And then I got kinda, I was so pumped on it

that I kept playing and I lost yeah it's how it goes those next two nights I was like dude I got this in the bag and then I just I lost did you ever play the don't pass line were you bet on the seven that's a no oh wait that's not I don't know what it's called but, that does seem like a small move you bend on the seven Yeah, I never did that now. Do you do that? Yeah, that's a definitely your only bit, huh? You know what when I when I go to Vegas or I'm gambling I go straight to the poker room Oh, that's the kind of intensity I need I don't have fun. I want to go Oh, I want to play against other people you don't want to play against the house

Yeah, I want to play against I want. You don't want to play against the house. Yeah, I want to play against, I want to take, I want to take somebody's money. I don't want the house to bend me over and have its way with me. I want to have my way with who I'm staring across the table at. But that's just me. Yeah.

Trying to, it's, you know. I love that dude. It's like Michael Jordan. He used to go, he'd be in the back, he'd be like in the back of the plane, playing thousand dollar hands with his buddies winning. And then he'd go to the front of the plane where guys were paying one dollar hands.

And they're like, what are you doing, man? And he'd go, cause it's about taking money from your pocket and putting it in my pocket. Damn. Bad ass, bro. Yeah, you gotta play poker. Well, we got a competition today. We're all kind of gambling with our pride.

We're drafting. Kevin Subbanen for my bro, who's out of commish. He's out of the state. Very excited about his Notre Dame victory today in the college football quarterfinals. Did he go to the game? No. Oh, okay. They beat Georgia. I think it's their biggest bowl victory since 1993.

Enough with Georgia. Enough with Alabama. I'm glad the SEC is mixing it up. It's different now. So we're going to do in honor of In honor of nothing, we're drafting the coolest jobs. Hell yeah. Cool is a vague term. Can mean a lot of things to a lot of different people. Correct.

We've all interpreted in our outfits in our own way. So there's going to be some incongruencies here, but we're all wearing shades, so there also might be some congruencies. And also, we don't have to get into it now, maybe it'll come out during the draft, but I mean, there's general category, and then you can get into specifics.

Do you take the general or do you go specific? I know what you mean. I think specifics the best. Yeah, I hear what you mean. I think you need to pick that first because I'm going to come for it. You got to go with, I think you got to go with a specific, like everything in life, be as specific as you can. Let us know exactly what you mean.

And you know, we'll weigh that against, but once again, the gloves are off. You know, if you need to phone a friend I guess you can JT needs to call Chris sure Chad's probably already on chat GPT and you know shmol daddy's got a few tricks up his bucket jacket. The trash talk begins you just easy rode into that huh? oh yeah baby you see that? dude I thought we were at the craps table I thought you were cheering us on. As soon as we start drafting the gloves come off damn before we start drafting I want you all to know I love you guys. Can you guys see my necklace? Yeah, it's fucking cool, dude Yeah, it's great. Yeah great change. I want to make sure you know how to play odds or evens, right?

We did this last time but if you could give me a little refresher. It's one or two, right? Yep. One two three. Oh For pink not necessarily bad not to say how do you know who's even enough? One or two, right? Yep. One, two, three. Oh, fourth pick. Not necessarily bad. Not necessarily bad. Wait, how do you know who's even and not? Cause I was, if you're the odd man out, you lose. So we all threw odd numbers. So you three throw again.

One, two, three. Wait. Kevin, you're out. I'm out. Okay. Dude, this is tough. Paper, rock, scissors. Oh yeah, shit.

Good call. All right, how do you do it? Rock, paper, scissors. And then you just All right. How do you do it? And then you just say shoot okay you call it rock paper scissors shoot rock paper scissors shoot rock I got no I got the first pick damn, dude All right. Oh man. I was exhilarating This is stressful. I know this is this is stressful man. I was exhilarating. This is stressful. I know. This is stressful, man. I know. Shit.

All right. I mean, I gotta go with what every kid wants to be. What you would probably, if you saw me in this jacket, you'd be like, he's one of those guys. I mean, these are the new conquistadors. The guys pioneering past planet Earth. Astronaut. Oh nice pick. Okay. Astronaut. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. I mean you're going into space, you're doing what no human being has ever done before. You're strapped to a freaking rocket. Everyone knows you're smart. You've probably been sucked in no gravity. That's cool. You splooge in no gravity and I mean you get to do what you're at the frontier. You're at the frontier. You're at the frontier of exploration. You're at the...

You're in a suit. You look cool as hell. There's tons of movies about you and... Now what astronaut are you? Are you Tom Hanks in Apollo 13? Are you Matthew McConaughey in Interstellar? Who are you? Oh, good question. I mean, I think you gotta go Matthew McConaughey in Interstellar. Yeah, good, good answer. Goop. I love the pic because you're smart, you're brave, and you're cool under pressure.

And you're a pioneer. Yeah. It's very cool. Yeah, you're right. I can't say it didn't cross my brain really quickly when I was thinking of cool jobs. It did or it didn't? It did. Oh yeah, very quickly.

And it could scrub some other picks that are similar. True. You know, cause like you kind of, your criteria to become an astronaut, you kind of have to have these other pretty sick jobs, dude. You're up. Okay. I'm going a different direction here. I'm going with lead singer of a band, dude. Like you are an international rock star, singer songwriter.

You're a rock star. It's a term that you put other, when you rip at a different job, your boss says, hey, man, you got those spreadsheets done before Christmas. You were a rock star. They say that about you. I mean, it's awesome. It's a different lifestyle. What I like about it, because I'm innately lazy, you can drink and do drugs and arguably

be better at your job. That's tight. No practice Which other jobs kind of you actually do have to have band practice. That's true. Unless you're a true talent Yep Cuz you cuz it's cool if you're the lead singer of a cool rock band But living in Los Angeles for decades. I know a lot of people who aren't That's very also unbelievably true, but I'm going with, I mean, it's for me, it's implicit that you're successful.

Okay, so successful. You're successful. Yeah, it's implied. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, put in success. Well, rock star implies success, right? Otherwise, you're just in a band. Correct. That's good lawyering. That's language. Thank you, Kevin. Rock star, rock star, rock star, frontman. I think you can take away that successful lead singer of a band. Yeah, you don't need that. That's Department of Redundancy Department there.

Just write rock star. Yeah, just write rock star. Yeah, rock star. Yeah, rock star. Rock star, rock star, frontman. I think you can take away that successful lead singer of a band. Yeah, you don't need that. That's language. Thank you. I think you can take away that successful You know that that's Department of Redundancy Department there. Just write rock star. I just read rocks rock stars all you need

Yeah rock star sick Cheer into crap or sing into crowds Yeah, I mean does anyone get sucked more than a rock star now that leads into my pick Does anyone get sucked more than a rap star? Now that leads into my pick. Now I know this can't probably go up there and this won't count, but everybody knows what the best job is. That's a suck job.

Woo! Put it on the board baby. I kinda like that interpretation. No, no, we're not. It's a nice bend. That was a good joke though. No, no, we're not. It's a nice bend. I make jokes here. Alright.

I feel cool in this leather jacket. You know because you said that it has to go on the board. I would love it to go on the board, but JT nixed it. No, I think it sullies the draft too much. Alright. It's a good joke though. It's a great joke. We respect the hell out of it. Thank you.

And Pandra. For my first pick, I'm going to have to go like we're talking about cool, you know, astronaut. Every kid wants to be an astronaut rock star. Yeah, of course. Everybody. Oh, Mick Jagger. I'd want to be Mick Jagger. But let's think about like a I'm thinking about like a cool job, like a job that a badass

would have. And one thing comes up to my mind. And that's that's that's some of the manliest men out there. Hunters. Not the type of hunters that you're thinking of, but bounty hunters. Oh! Pretty cool.

That's cool. Bounty hunters are a sick one. If you meet anybody and they tell you, what do you do? I'm a bounty hunter. You want to hear more? Yeah, you want to hear more technically, you know who was a bounty hunter Han Solo That's a good pin. That's fucking cool. So Han Solo is the coolest guy. I think bounty hunters is sick Great pick. I'm just

Are there bounty hunters today? Yeah, bro. No, no, no who's in Hawaii? Yeah dog the bounty hunter Yeah, of course. There's bounty hunters. There's people that have like warrants and That's what the bounty hunters go out. Okay, I'm trying to find the people with warrants. That is cool. Yeah, that is cool That's tight. And so they're not allowed to use Are they allowed to use force look? Bounty hunters don't live by the rules, okay? There's no rules for a bounty hunter. So true. But I actually don't even know. JT brings up a very good point. Another rule for a bounty hunter. Because there is another job where you're

doing kind of the same stuff, but you can level up a little bit in badassery in my opinion. Is that US Marshall? I don't know. I'm not saying nothing yet. All right. Well, with my pick, I'm going with something very specific. Now, I issued picking athletes because I don't know, I think it's the best job, but it's short term. You can't do it forever. At most, you get 10, maybe 15 years. This job is in the sports realm, but if you're good at it, you can do it forever. And you don't just run your sports organization. If you're good at this job, you run an entire state.

I'm saying SEC head football coach. Not a bad pick. That's specific. Not a bad pick. That's specific. Not a bad pick. I think if you're Nick Saban, Les Miles when he had it cooking, Urban Meyer, my hero Bobby Petrino, you're winning ball games,

you're getting money from boosters, you're coaching the greatest game on earth, and you can be sneaky and do devilish stuff, but it can catch up to you, so be careful. But for me, I don't think there's anything I'd rather do than lead a group of strong young men through the tunnel as we go to battle against our in-state rivals. It's pretty sick. And just feel that colossal roar in the stadium.

And it's fourth and one and everyone's like, is he gonna punt? I'm never gonna punt. We're punching it right down your throat. 11 personnel, we're coming straight at you. Now, do you think if this draft was not at this time of the year, you would have picked that? Or are you heavily influenced by the fact

that we're in the playoffs right now? Well, you know, it's interesting you say that because there's, Texas is an SEC school, but there's really no traditional. They're like a fake SEC school. Yeah, there's no traditional SEC school. So I'd actually say I'm out of the moment by picking SEC head football coach.

So you can accuse me of being too far in the past. Wow. Excellent counterpoint. You know, this is a very cool pick. You're, you're a connoisseur of culture. You bring culture and a lot of, uh, talk about making the big bucks. Always cool. They get paid. These guys are some of like, there's always a stat that comes out. Like, uh, it's not football, but the basketball coach from like Calhoun, like highest paid state employee in, in, uh, Connecticut history. And then you're

like, kind of makes sense. Like he probably generated so much revenue for that university and like everything. Counterpoint though, you can't bang the students, right? Bobby, pull up a photo of Bobby Petrino. But didn't you get in trouble for that? You can bang the students. Well, he only got in trouble because he crashed the motorcycle that she was on.

And his photo from his press conference is my favorite photo of all time. Go to images, right there, all the way on the left. That was him explaining what happened. Oh my God. Wait, tell me what happened. He was driving, he coached at Arkansas. He was doing good.

And he was driving a Harley with a coed on the back and he crashed it. Do we got a picture of the coed or no? Can you go to the top left photo, Jake? Right there, that's my favorite all time. Whenever I'm lying, I send someone that photo because that's him lying to everyone about what he did. So is that, that's your pick?

I can actually get behind that. That's a guy like Bobby Petrino. I was thinking about him. I was thinking about guys like Bear Bryant, you know, guys who ran programs for decades. Saban. Who are synonymous with the sport. Nick Saban, modern legend.

Good at giving speeches. I'd love an opportunity. Joe Paterno. Paterno is a tough one. You hear they're not going to get rid of his statue. They're just going to have it look the other way. That's an Albert Brooks tweet. It's a great tweet.

That sounds like a good. That's like a joke. I would hear from a guy in a bar. Yeah. You know, a smart fucking guy. All right for my second pick You know what? I'm deviating. I am going with an athlete. Oh, damn it. Don't take it I don't think you were thinking this at all. I'm going f1 driver. Okay, that's one Okay, cool pick cool. Basically You're james bond

The chicks are awesome You're James Bond. Mm-hmm. The chicks are awesome But also like the locations are phenomenal like it's cool being an American athlete Arguably the greatest but like you don't get to go to Turkey. You don't get to go to India You don't get to go to Italy you probably do in the offseason you can afford it, but not for your sport. I love that. It's international Yeah, they got the great Netflix series now the guys are always cool looking they look like soccer coaches very debonair Yep, very very small watch this lot of cologne very classy. It's not sizest you can be tiny actually It's kind of size this the other way. I don't think there's a lot of like better if you're tiny

Yeah, there's not a lot of six five died doing it. But yeah, I just think it's badass always makes for interesting stories. I'm going with F1. It's arguably the sexiest. That's why I like it. I mean, you see at the events they're going fast. Watch Rush, you know, Hemsworth and that. Very cool, James Hunt.

Just so cool. He's a problem out of the padlock, but on the track There's no one faster. Yeah James is a driver. You're flirting with death It's awesome. Have you guys ever been doing don't go looking for normality who men who drive in circles? And yeah, he marries Olivia wild yeah, she's an actress and she leaves them for she's hot Yeah, yeah, and also I mean Monte Carlo That looks sick. That's sick. I'm gonna go with Ferrari. I had to pick a team Ferrari

No, Mercedes red there's a prize most legendary all-time What about Ford Ford v Ferrari? Different style of race though. I don't think that was F1. That wasn't F1. I think it was Le Mans or something like that. Yeah, it was Le Mans. Oh yeah. Yeah, different style of racing.

You might want to cut that, Kev. Let's keep it in, baby. I think it's your pick. All right, what do you got? I'm scared, dude. I don't want to let that poll influence me because I see what the people want and I'm not gonna give them what they want. I'm not gonna pick something, I'm gonna go with what I think is the coolest job and I think this is probably one of the coolest jobs there is.

Strip Club DJ. Next on stage is Dina! Come on out Dina, give it a good go for her! Don't be shy with those ones boys! I think Kevin's doing good. I kind of love Kevin's list. I gotta make my picks based on how I look and right now I I look like a badass. So I can't come in here with a fucking. What was the age, Niel? Police officer. You'd be a great strip club DJ. Oh, boys. Give it, you know a lot of comedians are like on the side.

I've known them being strip club DJs. Really? Yeah. Like who? Judging from that voice. Nobody we know, but I knew like, I've known a few. Really? The voice you're doing reminds me of someone in particular. Oh, this is a real-

Markwell Karen? No, the voice isn't real, but the stripper I named is real. On my 18th birthday, we all went to a strip club. My friends took me to a strip club and they gave me a lap dance and her name was Dinah. Dinah. And then when she went out on stage is, next on stage is, Dinah. My favorite stream.

Greek goddess. One time we had a crazy driver, like we, in Miami we like hired a guy, there was like a SUV outside this club we were leaving. Oh my God, yeah. I was like, I'll drive in Miami we like hired a guy, there was like a SUV outside this club we were leaving. This guy was like, I'll drive you, and we're like, oh sweet, okay, cause there's like no Ubers where we hop in. He's like, what do you guys wanna get up to tonight?

We're like, oh, what do you got in mind? He's like, strip club. And we're like, ah, it's me, Strider, and one other guy. And we're like, okay, and then he's like, all right, takes us to this strip club. It's in the most ratchet part of Miami It's called the booby trap. Yeah Booby trap. Yep. It was like on the river. Yeah

The river he's like man. I wish I brought my gun and then we were like, why do you need a gun? He's like, it's alright. They know me in there. We're like goddamn. We're scared We go in or one buddy gets way too hammered has too much fun, but that's true What is the guy do what did the guy do? The guy goes, what are you looking at? And this is an all new strip club, and I'm literally looking at some lady's butt hole, dude. For sure, 100%.

There's no question that's what I'm looking at. I'm sitting in a chair like three feet away from it. And he goes, what are you looking at? And I'm like, oh, I don't know. And then I look at JT and he's like, I was like, why did he do that to me, dude? And he's like, I don't know, man, you seem kinda out and he's like I was like, why do you do that to me, dude? And he's like, I don't know man You seem kind of out of place here and then we like walked outside and we're like we got to get out of here, dude

Yeah, we had to leave. We had to get our buddy. It was so funny So just guy singled me out who didn't like the way I looked I was wearing an orange shirt It was intense in there though. It was scary. Yeah was the vibe was yeah You know, I'm having a good time if like I'm out with my boys and if I go, hey guys, we should go to a strip club. That means I'm rolling high. I'm having a great time. We never end up going, nobody ever takes me up on it, but if I'm out with you and I say,

maybe we should hit up a strip club, that means we're having a fucking good night. Although the last time I went to a strip club, the stripper, she was laughing at me during the laughing club dance. She said my, she was laughing at me and. Did she say why? Yeah, she said my rhythm was off. Oh yeah. I was like, I was thinking, well, no wonder I'm paying you to be on me. What, you want a guy that's smooth and can do everything correctly, he's probably not gonna come into the strip club. Why are you shaming me? What were you trying to do?

You're trying to go with this? No, I was just sitting there and I don't know, she gets on you and I don't know. Well, were you trying to move with her? Probably, I don't know, but it's just like, I don't think it's, you know, we're two broken people and I don't think she but it's just like, I don't think it's, you know, we're two broken people and I don't think she needs to be so like fucked up where she needs to get, who knows what's going on in her head.

I don't know if you should be so hard on her or yourself. Yeah. You guys just might be two regular people who just didn't dance well together. Yeah, but why'd she have to laugh at me? Well, here's the thing, do you think she calls out a lot of guys for being bad dancers or having no rhythm? Maybe that's her thing. I think she probably doesn't. She doesn't. So it's just me? That makes it worse.

I'm paying you money. Pretend like I have good rhythm. And let's just both get out of here unscathed. Let's both get out of here feeling good about ourselves. Well, let me... Okay, I can see where she's coming from now. Now we all gotta do it. I'm in Cabo, I'm like 16. Some of my friends are like meeting regular girls. That's not gonna happen for me at that point. We go to a strip club.

I want a Colombian lady, cause I'm Colombian, you know? And there's just not a lot of them in California. Pretty Colombian lady there. She takes me to the back room, lap dance. Ooh, she's grinding on me. I'm like, God, that feels good. I was a virgin at the time. I had no sex. I was like, Oh, dude, I started getting too turned on. I'm like, I'm like, my how much to go in like the backpack room and like really do a nasty thing. She's like,

Oh, 300 you want it to be so good for 300. I'm like, Oh, yeah, that sounds good. And then and then she goes down and she starts like licking outside my jeans and she goes, what happened? My boner was gone. I'd already busted. Ooh, you busted. Dude, nice. Everybody give her a round of applause.

I've never busted a strip club. Good job. And then she was like, do you still wanna go in the bag? And I was like, no. Well, you're in Mexico. Those are strip clubs in quotations. Yeah, you could do whatever you want. Yeah, I went to, my strip club story is,

my freshman year of high school, me and this dude, Travis, dude, he cruised down, and we went to the strip club, and the girls gone wild guy was like at the main nightclub. Joe, right? Yeah, yeah, like the dude's like, What was his name? I think it is like Joe or something like that.

They're coming out the dock on him. Anyway, we're at this club, and then afterwards my buddy was extra horny and I was like, whatever, I'm along for the ride. We go to the strip club, not a nice place. There was like the third row of a suburban seat like on the ground and like that's where you would like hang out and watch.

And then the back room with like the girls would come up and be like, hey, 40 bucks, whatever you want. And it was like a shower curtain. And we watched a few dances, had a beer and we were like, all right, let's get out of here. We're leaving. Some guy comes up to us, he's like, bro, you wanna buy some Coke? And goes, and like fucking regurgitates these little bags.

Immediately, immediately the federal, it was rolled up, so it was like a whole in on it. They put him in the back of the car just to like get him out of there so he can't say anything. Obviously it was this guy, then the cops were like, you're coming in for tickets right now unless you can pay for your ticket right now. And we were in college, we're like, dude, all we got,

between us we had like 60 bucks, gave it to them and just walked back across the border like a mile and a half. I got, dude, here's the thing, I came. He did? Yeah. Oh no, no. Oh man.

I got shown the door. Do you remember that time you were at a strip club, Chad? Do tell. And they brought you up and you actually danced? Yeah, dude. You danced on the, yeah. And did you get, did, and did you get I had the pole and I did the spins Did you get some good money pants? Yeah, you got money? I got money. Yeah, it was good. I took off my pants I I kept the shirt on so just like I so just your dong

Yeah, okay. Yeah, dude. That's awesome. Did pole dancing is awesome. Dude, pole dancing is fun. Yeah. Good workout. I got um, I got shown the door to strip club on the night I passed the bar. Why? Because you were being too horny or too excited or? No, no, no, no, no, none of that. Your rhythm was off? No, none of that.

I got robbed essentially by a stripper. So we passed the bar, my dad got us a hotel in San Francisco for me and my buddies. Of course, we have a night on the town then we end up at the strip club. We're there to have a good time, a stripper approaches me. You know, sometimes they do like the, you know, like the, we're having a three song special boys, get on up there and it'll be in some Van Halen and after that you're gonna, you know, you know, you do it, they did it by songs, right? Yeah.

So we have a special, three song special, get it. So she, probably a little inebriated here, but I'm business drunk. Do you know what business drunk is? Where you're basically blackout drunk, but you can talk normally. Like I was, and I passed the bar this night. I was very on it.

And I wasn't, I remember what happened sort of. And then, so we go into the room, then she sort of escorts me to the ATM. I get the money. I give her the amount of money that was bargained for for the three songs. She gives me a lap dance for maybe not even a full one song. She's supposed to give me three songs.

Just basically, hot for teacher. And then boom, she disappears. And then I go out and I'm looking for her. I can't find her. I can't even find the stripper. So I go up to the strip club manager, swear to God, guy with like a ponytail. So I go up to the strip club manager. I swear to God guy with like a ponytail Of course like the typical strip club manager and then I'm a random guy. I'm on hey man

I can't find the manager. I didn't get the three three lap dances You know, can I get a refund or can you give me a another stripper to give me a lap dance and then keep pointing to? This sign up on the wall. I remember this sign It says like the strippers are independent. These are independent contracts. We're not, we're not responsible for whatever they do. This is the, this is the night I passed the ball. I became a lawyer on this day and he's pointing at that sign and I get into a, a very, you know, business like argument with him, but not, not screaming, I was business drunk, I was cool.

And we keep going back and forth. I'm like, come on man, just can't you get, where is she? Was she even a stripper? That's what I started thinking, oh my God, she wasn't even a stripper there. She's just a woman that came off the street and took me into the back room, took my money. So I'm getting all worked up.

That's what happened? No, I'm sure she was a stripper there. She wasn't an imposter acting like a stripper to a dude, guys? I don't know, but the strip club should have a, you know, they should have a sense of pride in their establishment. And if she's not giving me the three songs, they should either give me a refund or another stripper. Do you think strippers need football coaches, like someone to come in and just

set the tempo for like the entire squad? I mean, they don't have I thought they had coaches already. They don't. That's right. I mean, I could have just got a bad apple. Dude, scroll up to beef nips. A little bit of head, a little bit more. I feel like Kevin has been kicked out of his strip club. I haven't been. He politely asked me, you know,

it was a agreement. He wrote that before you. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, I've never been thrown out of any establishment. One more strip club story. Stratton, can you tell the one of- The guy that got kicked out?

Yeah, dude, so we were in Vegas for my bro's B-Day a few years back and one of my bro's buddies, I don't know the guy that well, and maybe he just needed to really let off steam married guy, couple kids. You guys are close. Yeah, he's my best friend. This guy, we go to the strip club, we're at Larry Flint's Hustler Casino in Vegas, and

there's a Garth Brooks concert, busy night, and this guy comes in from the concert with his girlfriend and his girlfriend's a pretty attractive lady, and they've got chairs at this strip club where you can do full 360 swivels like an office chair. And the guy, my brother's buddy is so hammered. He keeps spinning around and staring at this like buff cowboy dude's girlfriend like, and just looking at her. Meanwhile, behind him, there's a girl with her boobs out, full boobs out, totally out. And he just keeps swiveling his chair around and just staring at this guy's girlfriend. And the guy looks at me,

because he knows I'm with him, and he goes, he's a direct, he was like, hey man, if your friend doesn't stop weirding out my girlfriend, I'm gonna have to kick his ass. And I did the thing like Woody Harrelson, or like getting dumb and dumb, no man, I'll kick his ass first, man.

Like don't worry about it. I'm on it first, bro, don't even worry about it. And then the guy fucking turns around again, stares at it. it and then luckily like the club one of the bouncers saw it and He's like you're gone and we all had to leave like you're out. I'm gonna have to kick his ass It's so good. Just a full naked girl behind him just kept turning around staring at this guy's girlfriend guys I'm just gonna I'm just gonna throw this out there Sure, should we go to a strip club after this? Baby it's down the street. We're men. We're men's are there strip clubs in I'm just gonna throw this out there. Should we go to a strip club after this? Yeah. Dude, it does sound-

It's down the street, baby. It's down the street. We're men. We're men's men. Are there strip clubs in downtown? Yeah. There's some in my neighborhood, dude. There's multiple. Are there? Yeah.

I've never been to them, but- The good ones are by the airport. Yeah, by the airport. Oh, yeah. Is that what it- the good ones are by the airport? That's why they call it a layover. Ha ha! Ha ha ha! I just got it.

All right, my pick. Oh, okay. I'm also going professional athlete here. And I'm going also, look, I kind of want to give chalk right now. We know what the coolest job in fucking America is. Yeah, you're right. But Chad's next. But am I going to try to just get a dub right now?

Because I know what sport you might pick, and I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one.

I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you might pick a good one. I know you're right. But Chad's next. But am I gonna try to just get a dub right now? Cause I know what sport you might pick and it's cool. Yeah. Vibe wise. It's the coolest vibe you can have and you can even be bad at it and it's still cool.

But I'm gonna go chalk cause I went rock star. I'm going with the American football quarterback that's the best blue 42 I mean come on bro sick it's the premier position in American sports sick you know what and this is America bro but you know what kept me from picking it hmm longevity concussions those concussions? Those, Mark Sanchez. Now we grew up with Mark Sanchez, one of the coolest guys that ever lived. Oh, you know him. Yeah, not well.

USC quarterback. He doesn't know me, I know him. Tall, handsome, athletic. Yeah. About as cool as he gets, checks all the boxes. Comes out of USC, pretty esteemed quarterback, had a pretty good career. Beats Ohio State that time when they had Terrell Pryor. We were there.

Help a great game. You got on the Jumbotron. I couldn't because I just had a Philly cheesesteak and my stomach hurt. You told me not to get a Philly cheesesteak. You were right. Goes to the New York Jets, comes out of the gates, fire and goes to the AFC Championship game. I think he beat New England in New England against Tom Brady.

What is he remembered for? butt fumble one moment? Fell into the wrong guy's ass. That's all anybody ever thinks about now Jake Can you pull the risk is huge? You know what? But I want I want there to be high risk because with high risk comes high reward and if you do not risk it You do not get the biscuit so true I Mean bro, he's a commentator comes high reward and if you do not risk it, you do not get the biscuit. So true. I mean, bro.

What's he doing now? I think he's a commentator. You touch the football. We gotta watch the video every time. Yeah, he does commentating. You gotta pull up the full video. He does a good job commentating. Yeah, he's Rox outlet.

So how long was his career? Six years, seven years? Had an amazing defense, couldn't win. Classic Jets, couldn't win. Oh, and they score. Wait, that's the butt fumble? Yeah. It's amazing, dude.

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you ever wonder what it would be like as a regular dude, if you were a quarterback for a play That's it. Ah Dude the bumble Yep. Oh My god It's so good Right who's that?

the coolest quarterbacks gotta be Joe cool Joe burrow, currently. All time, I mean maybe you would say Broadway Joe, but I think he's had some stuff going on speaking of Jets quarterbacks, probably just why I say it. Also this guy said Namath. But dude, it's all Joe's, I wanna say Montana now. It's not Tom Brady even though he's the best,

but it's not Tom Brady. I mean, I don't think he's the coolest, but he is the GOAT. He is the GOAT. Steve Young's my favorite of all time. Steve Young's cool. Dude, Lamar Jackson's fucking cool, dude. I feel dude Joe Burroughs kind of lost his cool a little bit. He seems kind of weird now Who is this right? He's too out there Well, he's he's he was like cool and now he's like a little bit too cocky to where it's not cool

Yeah, he's like spaced out a little bit. Yeah, I guess I'm just going with the hair the hairs Yeah, when he bleaches his outfits and the hairs rubbing me I'm getting like a Brad Pitt like around seven vibe where it's like I'm so handsome I'm just gonna see how far I can write is Joe burrow hot is he considered hot? Yeah, you know who's cool quarterback McMahon from the Bears the 85 Bears. You don't know that about Joe burrow I didn't know he's considered hot. Oh, have you seen him? He's in Jared Goff supposed to be hot. He looks like right look at a picture No, Jerry Goff's not supposed to be hot. Not like Joe Burrow's hot.

This guy's hot? So you don't know what hot is? I do know what's hot, but he's not my type. Let's do this. Let's do this real quick. He's not my type. Oh, he's not hot. I'm not saying he's not hot. Who's like an old man?

Okay. I'll pull up Sam Darnold real quick. Okay. All right, who do you think is better? This guy? Well, he's probably better looking than Sam Darnold. Hold on. Who do you think is better? This guy? Well, he's probably better looking than Sam Darnold. Hold on. Who's better looking?

Sam Darnold or now pull up Jalen Hurts. I'm not telling you which one I think is handsome. Who do you think is more handsome? Oh, Jalen Hurts. Yeah, for sure. Look at him. Look at that. Yeah, Jalen Hurts is very attractive.

Well, I didn't know because you didn't know Burrow. I do know what handsome is. It's just Burrow. I didn't, I don't- I'm just checking. I'm just saying he might not be hot. Pull up Jimmy Garoppolo, pull up Garoppolo, please. Garoppolo's hot, because my wife talked about Garoppolo a lot. He's probably the hottest quarterback.

Yeah, they all want to ban Garoppolo. Ever lived. All right, well. Didn't he date a porn star? Yeah. Which I thought was cool. He took Kiara Mia out to like a real dinner. He treated her right.

He's a gentleman. It's nice. You're a good guy. That's cool. Now pull up Aidan O'Connell. I gotta tell you though, pull up Aidan O'Connell. Aidan O'Connell. Look at this guy.

Oh God. That guy will change your tire. Fucking, you know, get you... Doesn't look like a quarterback, but you know what? God damn it, the guy can rally the troops. I mean the quarterback's one of those professions where it doesn't matter what you look like a quarterback but you know what? God damn it, the guy can rally the troops. I mean the quarterback's one of those professions where it doesn't matter what you look like. You're gonna slang that P. Amen baby.

Slang that P. Just win baby. NFL quarterback. Just win. Slang that P. Is that a term? Or did I just make that up? Slang that P. Slang that P.

No, you're gonna, penis or pussy? Both, both. It applies to both. Slang that P. Slang pussy, slang cock. All right, Chad, daddy You're up. What do you got? Okay back-to-back double trouble. All right. Now, this is the job This is the top job This is the top job

This is the job where people look at a kid and they're like you got a lot of promise son You're gonna be this someday. Whoa This is the job. You could destroy the world With this job one click of a button. Yeah You can impact geopolitics president of the United States Nice

I'm gonna tell you what I thought you were gonna pick the United States. Nice. I'm going to tell you what I thought you were going to pick. Later. This is like an elementary. This is like a. I thought you're going to pick this. I don't think. No, I didn't think you were going to pick that. This is like a six year old's list. Astronaut. Astronaut. President of the United States.

Firefighter. What the fuck? I thought we're dress cool. Come on man. Do you think president is cool? I hear what Kev's saying. It's a really good pick. Because it's like, who do we think about? We think about presidents. It's powerful. Like Teddy, Freddie.

We think about them. Yeah. You're going down in history. I'm always thinking of Zachary Taylor. But is it, but are we- Are they cool? But are we, and are we seeing you through it? Are you seeing me through it? Yeah.

Like this is my pers- You know what I was gonna say about Astronaut actually? When you and me did mushrooms during COVID and we were at the top of that hill, I was like, what are you thinking about? And you were like, how much I wanna go to the moon? Oh, I love that. Go to the moon? the moon and then there was that other time we did mushrooms and I was like what are you thinking about and you were like what are we gonna do

about Russian fringing on Estonia right dude you want to drop nukes dude yeah Yeah, JFK is a good example. JFK was tight. I don't know. He was sexy, dude. He was cool. He was getting sucked. He was getting sucked. He was cool. Teddy Roosevelt was cool. It stresses people out, but... It stresses him out a lot.

Also, let me tell you this. Aging, talking about longevity, look at pictures of our best president, Abraham Lincoln. When he gets elected, tall, was a wrestler, never really that handsome. Then you look at him after the Civil War before he got shot in the back of the head, which is a risk for that job. Dude, he aged like fucking 15 decades. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah.

You're a four and after dude. Look at it, he looks like he's on the fucking, the ride at Disneyland, like he's one of those miners. Okay. He looks like one of those animatronic dudes. Can I tell a quick Bill Clinton anecdote? Yeah. You know when Bill Clinton did his defense

and he was like talking about the sexual scandal with Lewinsky and he goes, I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky. And the press afterwards was like, why did he say that woman? Like people thought that was kind of aggressive and disrespectful. The quotes from his team was, he didn't do it on purpose.

He swear to God, that's what he said afterwards. He goes, I didn't mean it. I forgot her name. Oh my gosh. That's hilarious. Can I take a whiz before you pick? No, let him pick. Let him pick, yeah. But my pick's next.

Is it cheating? Okay, okay. Okay. My next pick, you get to hang with gorillas. Being a banana. Literally. What is this? Is it a primatologist?

Like, James Goodell. Let's go! Primatologist. Let's go, now we're talking. Actually, I think that helps your list a lot. That's a good pick. You get to become one of the gorillas Is there anything better than animals?

Taking you in as one of their own imagine if you're with a bunch of girls and people come up on you and they're like Hey, man, give me all your money and you're like, we'll talk to my fucking gorilla about it. Was that Jane Goodall? Yeah, that's Jane Goodall. She talks to gorillas. Yep Also the movie Congo. Amy, love you. You can develop one of those little gloves, dude, and find diamonds. That was a good pick. There she is.

Is she still alive or she just died? I think she's like 99. What happened to her team? Her team got kidnapped? That was like the controversy that surrounded her. There was a movie they made about her and I should watch that. Yeah, you should watch that I Go to the zoo a lot and I tend I always I don't ever want to go the monkeys and the gorillas

I don't like to I don't like to look at them You're not so that I feel too connected. Because I feel too connected to them and I feel bad. Does your son, who's named after a bounty hunter by the way, does he love the zoo? Yeah, he loves the zoo. He likes giraffes. Although last time we were there, the giraffes,

there was this one giraffe and he was really horny and he was just chasing the other giraffe and she was just like running away and he was yeah It was a rough place. It was nice. Yeah, but I have a season pass to the LA Zoo JT have you taken your kids to the zoo yet? No, you know, my brother took him. He took him. Nice Yeah, uncle a little uncle zoo trip. Yeah, it was uh me and my lady were doing a Like a romantic weekend and my brother was like I'm gonna take him to the zoo and yeah and actually me and my lady were like we might

leave our romantic weekend we want to go to the zoo but then we're like no let's chill. You know where I took the little boy a couple days ago? The Natural History Museum. Oh yeah. And that fucking place slaps. A lot of dino bones there. Really? I wasn't expecting as many. I wanted to sort of, I wish he would like, at some point I was all, oh God, I wanna look at these bones.

There's a lot of dinosaur bones. Where is it? It's in the exposition, like USC. Exposition Park by USC. Oh, really? I wanna go. Oh yeah, you gotta go. Wow, I didn't know they had them.

That shit slaps. There was a T-Rex, Brontosaurus, Stegosaurus. That's awesome. What the? Ooh, maybe a potential job. Pretty sick, not at the museum. Ooh, maybe I sparked it. Oh, I won the second round.

I sparked it. Potential job, but also kind of slow moving. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's my beef with it. But also kind of slow moving. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's my beef with it. I think you gotta come after it. Strider. Strider, what's your pick?

Okay. For my pick. Ah. There's another cool one on the board, but I think I might be able to get it. And I'm going all chalk here guys I'm going straight down the middle. I'm going with

leading man actor Leading man, like basically you're George Looney Matt Damon Tom Cruise. You want to know why? even Keanu Taste of every single job if you, and I'm imagining your craft, you really dive in, you meet with the experts, you get a little taste. And I'm a type of guy who, anything for 20 minutes, I'm in, after that I'm pretty lazy, I'm out.

So I think also, you know, of course, there's the rich and the fame, and fame is a double edged sword, that's true. But you fucking make bank, like Kevin says, you probably get sucked. Oh, probably. You know, you're winning awards. You are appreciated as an artist.

And you get to learn multiple skills in your lifetime. You learn archery, shooting, horseback riding, driving a car, stunts, all of this. You also get to be a weirdo. Like you could be, you in this job, you get to be in a cult. Scientology. Or be in a car, stunts. You also get to be a weirdo. Like you could be, you in this job, you get to be in a cult. Scientology. Like Tom Cruise or Jared Leto, two weirdos.

I've been hammering on your picks, but actually the first two times were fake. I was just being competitive. This one, I got genuine gripe. What's here? I think leading man, coolest job outside of the job. You're the man, you get into everything. You're known around the world. Everyone're the man you get into everything you're known around the world

Everyone looks up to you as almost a god But the actual doing of the job being an actor and this isn't just because I suck at it kind of blows I kind of love being I love being an actor. I Know on set you sit in the chair. It's a lot of hurry up and wait But have you been a leading man in a movie? No, but I was ninth on the call sheet on unstable And you were to why five oh Trailer with a like a bed and a woman to suck you when you want and and leading men actors cool guys but not as cool as

Athletes we really when you see anyone who does anything when you see as athletes. Well, yeah. Almost anyone who does anything. When you see next to athletes especially, they look tiny. And they're big. So you'd be a big actor. Yeah, I like, I think the craft is cool.

You're tall. Yes, you're lean. But you get to. He said you get to experience all the jobs. Which I kinda like. He, like Matt Damon owned a farm or had a zoo and he also is like a CIA agent. Correct. Poker player.

He was a part of Nike's shoe division. He was a talented Mr. Ripley. He fought off like dragon things at the China Wall. He was a janitor. He was a janitor. He was good at math. He got to be a genius. So yeah, no, I hear what you're saying.

That's kind of why we didn't go with, which probably still is on Kevin's list, a leading man in a different sort of film. But before the reason that you brought up, I thought, yeah, that'd be the worst job in the world. Oh. And also I couldn't do it. No, just go into it now.

So you're saying porn star, not that cool of a gig. Yeah. Because you don't get to have sex how you want to. Yeah, I wasn't gonna do that either because a male porn star too is... Yeah, I heard male porn star, you gotta do gay stuff first. Well, some of them probably like to do that.

A lot of jobs have benefits. Yeah. But what about female only fans? Right making okay. That's a smart job, bro. That should be on someone's land. No one is done We've been called out for it. A lot of these don't have to be but some of them are male centric Here's the thing calling myself out on my last pick is youtuber the cooler forward-thinking job over leading man All right, probably not do we have to X those out because we talked about them? If it's been on the list it's gone. No, no, you can still say it. Or you can still say it. Alright, is it my pick? Yeah, but hold on, let me take a leak while you pick.

Should we wait? Okay. This pick is gonna be a slash, but like a slash, you know what I'm saying? This slash this and I think I can do it. Is that acceptable? Because I don't think you can pick this and then somebody else pick the other. Now, this pick, I can hear Strider's stream and it is a nice healthy stream by the way. He must have had a lot of Agua today. Sounds good. That's that's that's that easy writer stream. Oh, that's the easy writers stream sponsored by easy writer. All right. This.

Wait, keep touching me. OK, this pick. All right, stop touching me now, because I got to get intense for this. This pick is probably when we're talking about leading, this is leading actors and all that, this pick are the people that if you are a leading man, you wanna play this because you are an instant badass. But I'm talking about the real job.

My pick is for, Strider, get in here. Guys, I'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that we are brought to you by Home Chef. Guys, is'm interrupting this podcast to let you know once again that we are brought to you by Home Chef. Guys, is there anything better than when your meal has been decided for you, when it's good, when you know it's gonna be good, when the quality is there and making it is a blast?

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Back to the show. My pick is a drug lord slash mafia boss. I'm talking a Don, okay? No, no. I'm talking- I don't know if this counts because it's illegal. No, it has to be legal?

I don't know. No. Bounty hunter- Because of this? Bounty hunter, I love how you were picking on Chaz. Chaz lives for being young and yours is bounty hunter. I'm a teenager, okay. This is great, dude. Let me explain.

You're like my friend's older brother who still hangs out with us and isn't cool, but like keeps telling us about cool stuff. You look like your pubes are bleached. In your list is like this guy bleaches. That's a good idea. You're like 15, but you're dating a 13 year old. Maybe I will bleach my pubes after this. Think about the drug lord, it's a short job

because you're gonna get murdered at some point. But while you're on top, you are the king of the world. While you're on top, you get whatever you want. You get all the drugs you want, you get all the money you want, you get all the suck jobs you want want you get all the drugs you want you get all the money you want You get all the suck jobs you want you get all the guns you want you get to kill anybody you want you get to fuck Anybody you want? What are you talking about?

This is the best job now. You're gonna die probably pretty soon, but they don't give a shit. They're so coked up They're so coked up. They're so fucking coked up. They don't get fucking kill me. Fucking kill, Scarface? True. Scar, fucking kill me. Wait, was it real life? Give me real life people.

El Chapo, you want me to name it? El Chapo, but I don't think he's that good. El Chapo. No, you gotta go with real life. Escobar's the coolest. Because if you're doing the movie versions, that's not even like the real deal. Or mafia, well a lot of them were based on people.

So Whitey Bulger. Yeah. El Chapo. Jimmy the real deal. Or mafia. Well, a lot of them were based on people. So Whitey Bulger, El Chapo, Jimmy the Man, Gotty, Maurice the Punisher, whoever. Sammy the Bull. Sammy the Bull. I'm not saying these are good people. Johnny Mitchell. I'm just saying a cool job. I'm just saying a cool job. I'm just saying a cool

Job and this is a very cool job. Kevin you hurt a lot of people when you do that job Yeah, I mean you ruin a lot of lives Kevin If you look at you looking like that as a drug dealer, that would be cool Yeah, would you not want to buy drugs for me? Yeah, so you're a lawyer Do you do you like these gigs because they give you work? These gigs? Yeah, that's why you like them. And these are the kind of people you work with often? I've never represented a drug lord or a mafia boss to be honest with you.

Right. But yeah. But I have subborn. You can't say that. You can't say that here. But Kevin, you've had a lot of bounty hunters in the court of law. Huh? You've represented a lot of bounty hunters in the court of law. Huh? You've represented a lot of bounty hunters in the court of law.

No, the bounty hunters usually work on the side of the law enforcement. But no one used a little too much force. Too much force, maybe I'm gonna have to get involved. Yeah. Wow. I mean, I don't accept you guys shitting on this pick. I think this is a fucking badass pick. Boom. I mean, have you guys shitting on this pick. I think this is a fucking badass pick boom. I

Mean have you ever killed someone? only with my dick I Know I haven't no Only with my kindness All right, who's next I'm up JT insurance agent all right. Who's next? I'm up. JT, insurance agent. All right. Honestly my insurance agent, very cool guy. Honestly, yeah.

Total badass. What company is he with? State Farm. State Farm, maybe. I think I met him before, right? Yeah, he's awesome. Maybe I need to get some coats from him. How many eggs is he out of there?

Nine. He's at nine, but I'm catching up. You're doing that? JT's out on the egg wars.T's on the egg was I know for today. I did I had one today Mm-hmm. Just one. I do one or two. I can't handle the eggs these guys handle You know what a good gig is that safe on me? I'm doing 200 grams of protein a day. Really? I'm going insane. Whoa I've gone so high protein. My girlfriend has turned against protein. How do you how do you how do you count it? You can just look up like how much is in like this many ounces of chickens and also I have a little scale I don't use it all the time, but I just it's kind of ballparking. Yeah, I might not be exactly 200

But I'm in that range how many grams of protein per load? Like 50 They say your body can only process like you should have your body weight, right? Is that what you having your body weight? Yeah, so are you are you are you carnivore now? No, cuz I do fruit, but I'm low-carb. So you're You're like animal based. Yeah, I'm like I'm like do vegetables. I'm like paleo or or Atkins or one of those things you can get protein from beans. I haven't been doing a ton of be I've been doing just mostly fruit and meat. It's so people hate when you talk about your diet yeah it's bad all right let's keep moving all right tissue not cool job my body fat done

today I'm 20% nice which is D's what I'm trying I was I was bulking so that's why it's I think I'm gonna get it down to like 16 beast what was what yeah I've been 20s bad why you guys 20s good I'm just decent it's not like you're like an Olympian you shouldn't be giving not like you like an Olympian You shouldn't be giving me credit. What's an Olympian? Oh like eight to ten probably depending on their sport I think a gymnast is probably like five in the average American is like supposed to be

Under in like around 20. What are they? I don't know 40 I'm average American man have 28% for a man. Hey Strider So you're what do you think Brad Pitt was in snatch in snatch like shredded 11 11 I think they say you don't start seeing like real abs until you're like in like the 12 range or something like that But I was reading guys on reddit I think it's pretty tough to stay at around 10 like you got to be like really, really focused. Mm-hmm, hystrider. Oh, and by the way, people think they're lower than they are. If I do skin calipers, I'm like 13% body fat.

So I did like the full DEXA scan, so it was counting my lung fat and like my visceral fat. Hystrider. Is this lasers? Yeah. You got a doctor for that? I went to Moscow's guy. Oh, you did? Yeah. I got those scalpers.

I'm full red pill, whatever you call it. Red pill's not the right phrase, but I'm like, like it's funny, cause Moscow would talk about that stuff and I'm like, he did? Yeah. I got those scalpers. I'm full red pill, whatever you call it. Red pill is not the right phrase but I'm like, like it's funny because Moscow would talk about that stuff and I'm like, shut up dude and then like a month later I was like, I'm doing it. Like all the holistic stuff? Yeah. Did you do the full like blood thing?

I did my blood but I haven't got it analyzed yet but they pooled it today. Oh, wow. And it lets you know what's best for you? Look at that. Fuck yeah, dude. Yeah, they're gonna check my minerals and tell me what to take. Because Moscow laughed at you when you were like... He was like, dude, I take vitamin C. He's like, bro, your levels can be way off.

Yeah, he's like, did you get tested for that? And you're like, no. And he's like, so you don't even know why you're taking it. I was like, oh, shit. I was like, I'm gonna take it because it helps your immunity in this fucking winter. I don't know, dude. I do the same thing. I take vitamin D and I'm just like, this is what I'm supposed to take.

I went to Moscow, but I told him just only do my balls. And he said 90% fat. You got 90% fat on your balls. Fat balls. Dude. Fat balls. I weighed 172 on the scale when they did my Dexascan 167. I was like, how is it, or 168. I was like, how's it different though?

Like, cause it doesn't count body hair. Really? Something like that. You fat what? Four pounds of body hair? I think I had pants on too or something. I haven't taken that up. Really? Something like that? What, four pounds of body hair? I think I had pants on too or something, I didn't take that up. But it was like, wait, how's your fast going? It's great, I'm done.

So you did three days, no food. Same two hours, salt water, black coffee. That's what you can have. Yeah. Not regular water. I mean, you just want electrolytes. You can have regular water, but you wanna have a lot of electrolytes. I mean you just want electrolytes you can have regular water regular water But you want to you want to have a lot of like element pack you could have it was great

Do you know what dude if you ever? Feel if you're having trouble Just feeling grateful for things stop eating and you'll realize the miracle of sandwiches I heard you say on Instagram. I loved that is so like yeah I like I was so hungry where I was I would Ioprano's, terrible call because he's eating the entire show and I'd be like, wow, like, to me now food is the greatest miracle of all time. I mean you look at a sandwich, like an Italian sandwich, like that is, I want that more than anything.

Hey Tina, hey Tina, give me some of that guava gul come on Tina come on is that you in your cool job Tina come on get me some of that guava gul no nobody won nobody I love it Tina get it for him all right I'm up two picks I'm going number one so in the few times I've been on set and I've been acting which I'm pretty bad at I always look around to see who's the coolest person there I'm like is it the leading man I'm like kind of but not really I'm like you know who's kind of cool is the grips all the guys who move the stuff around get the whole thing started they're all jacked and they're strong and

tattooed and they like talk cool and they're like him and you put any action on the game This week on my skies freaking sick, dude, but you know who's even cooler than them And I've only had a few experiences with them But every time I've been like I'm gonna follow this guy on Instagram And I'm gonna keep tabs on this guy cuz I want to see what he's up to on the regular I'm talking about the stuntmen Stuntman niceuntman's cool. Who do they call in to be cool? Ryan Gosling.

And do this cool thing? The stuntman. It's pretty sick. Is that movie any good? Should I watch it? It's a very cool film. No, the movie's kind of wild. Fall guy, yeah. It's an old show from the 80s too, I think. Oh, is it? Yeah, it was a show in the 80s. Well, that's what the guy played in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood too So you can just watch that watch Brad Pitt be a stuntman. That's what that movie is kind of about He's not one of the cool guys. Yeah

I've listened to one of them on fresh air Like he was a stuntman in like the 50s on like those kind of movies like Tarantino's riffing on in Once Upon a Time and like The crazy thing about the job is like it's so dangerous I just saw a sad story about one of the kids from Harry Potter who did it But like this guy would just be like alright We have to blow you up and you're a cowboy on a horse and he's like alright Let's do it and they would just they didn't there's no Playbook for that you just keep pushing the envelope from past productions and finding what happened

He had like the longest craziest list of injuries, but the amount of cool shit. He had done was Endless and I just feel like you have ultimate like dad lore when the kids come over you can just be like Oh, that's like the time I swung off the building and Kuala Lumpur and You know the guy above me shit his pants, but I carried us both to freedom It is pretty sick and like the stunt man is like comes in for the leading man who could be like You know in a scenario where he's like a pretentious actor and everyone's like bowing down to him, but the stuntman's like, shut up dude, like, this movie doesn't work if I don't pull this off.

Greg was working on a production, he said the stunt team was the coolest. They threw their don around the most on set. You remember those dudes in Hawaii? They were so cool, those are the guys, I follow all those guys, they're so cool. Yeah, the guys on Hawaii Five-O, Hawaiian Stuntman. Bro.

And they did a lot. Cause we technically did a stunt, where we were on top of an apartment building, so we had to be strapped in. Nice dude. Yeah. It was scary. And they gave you a stunt bump?

Yeah, and we were talking over the building, so they had to strap, but, you know, before that, I was like, I don't even fucking be strapped in, dude. Then we got to the top I was like strap me in. Yeah, bro. It's scary. Yeah That guy and you know what's cool about that guy. He really looked I mean this sincerely really loves his wife Let's follow him on Instagram was like this guy

That's the any guy who's good at his job also loves his wife or a guy wants to just get his wife back I love him dude. Yes wife back. I need to get my wife. Where's my wife? Dude, I'm strapped between two picks here. I know bro. Don't take mine dude. I think I want to do... Don't do it dude. I don't think you're gonna take my one but you might take my other.

I think I'm actually gonna snatch Chad's pick here and I'm shocked you didn't do it. I know okay. This is my other one. I think roller coaster designer Was it really You don't have any passion about this. What the fuck is an Imaginarian guy? It's the people who designed the Disney rides. It's cool as hell, dude. Honestly, I swear to God,

I don't have as much passion as you, but hearing you talk about it made me think it was really cool. And I'm also, I'm grabbing all roller coaster designers. Yeah, you get all of them. You do, whoa. God damn.

Just playing the Sims was pretty sick. So maybe amusement park, amusement park architect. Like roller coaster tycoon, but in real life. Yeah, not like a roller coaster tycoon. Can you change designer to tycoon or like that? I'm shocked you went president and primatologist before roller coaster designer. I thought I'd be a fourth-round pick

No, I meant to when I said I was gonna take it from you. Damn, dude It's funny No designer just I could just I could look so we call an errand He might not know what that is, but he might be like what? Man that one really stung I saw him today. Did you do that? Oh, I gotta text Aaron somewhere to call him. Man that one really stung. I saw him today And I told him I'm gonna call him. Did you do that just to fuck Chad and you? No, it was on my list. It was on my list and I tried and I tried to be cool and I warned Chad up top I said bro, I thought you're going for like fighter pilot or something. I'm like I already have astronaut No, no, I would have said that to everyone. I did I was trying to warn you. Yeah, I was gonna say blue angels

No one gets more ass. You know, I I was like, no one's gonna pick this. It's a fourth round pick, Disney Imagineer. I wasn't even on my radar. Exactly, it's so cool. You literally get to make rides. Dude, it's cause also I've gone to, I don't like roller coasters much and you love them, but I've gone to amusement parks with you

so I've heard you talk about what they do. And you've been like, dude, this Ratatouille ride is the first one that has AI and it moves the whole thing and they had to put a billion dollars of design. I was like, that's pretty sick. It is sick. I mean, they're literally inventing things. So they're inventing things to create these.

You know what would be a good experience? Yeah, like the amount of work that goes into the engineering and then the technology. The creativity. Yeah. It's awesome Chad What about a roller coaster where you're getting sucked? At the same time you're experiencing that's like one place where Chad doesn't want to add sucking Yeah roller coaster you don't want to get sucked on a roller coaster. I mean there's kids around no I'm talking about adults only

Sacred to Chad for Chad you don't Know what a mess with that no that yeah You gotta know what's sacred to Chad. For Chad, you gotta see his face at Disney. You don't wanna mess with that. No, that, yeah. My smile at Disneyland is not a getting sucked smile. If you were doing like, I'm getting sucked at Disneyland stuff, maybe you'd laugh at that. No. Yeah.

It's too pure. Who knows why you're screaming? Yeah, if Kevin went up to... That would be fun. Why are you screaming? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uhhhh uh Ben style. I can see it. He deserves it. Or like went up and humped Mickey or something like that. Oh dude, I forgot Wow, I'll keep it for the end. All right, Kev, you're up Okay, so I think we've weaved, you know presidents and rock stars and You know strip clubs and all that but I think we're leaving out that, you know, some of the heroes

And the heroes of this country and the heroes in the medical profession. So on this one, I'm going with the dawn of the medical people. I'm talking urologists or cock dogs. These guys have dead, they chose- I thought you were gonna go gynecologist, but the guy goes urologist with a total curve ball. No, no, not cock docs, urologists.

Give them the respect they deserve. I'm just describing that people, urologist is a doctor that focuses on your shaft and your sac, okay? This guy went to medical school, they had to pick their specialty, go into residency, and they go, I wanna save the cocks.

I wanna save cock, and it inspires me. It fucking inspires me, man. I mean think about it, man. They're just, I'm gonna focus on the cock. I'm gonna do cock surgery. I'm gonna do nut surgery. You should have been a cock doc. I should have been a cock doc.

You would have been a great cock doc. I would have been a great cock I would have been a great one time I had to get my nuts operated on oh yeah come in yeah oh look at your nut man so swollen that's a nice cock we got there don't worry I'll take care of you're going to sleep Kevin's over he's like you got a nice

cock doctor am I gonna lose my penis no not on my, not on my watch. Not on my watch. Strider, you're up. Oh man, this is tough, dude. This is tough. I'm trying to go for a belt here, dude. Although I don't even think I'm close for a belt right now. But Jake, maybe do parentheses like penis doctor just so I'm like, you know, so people the people if Aaron is not. Is he cleaning up right now? I think he's cleaning up.

What? I mean, Strider, your list is good. Yeah, your list is good. I could mess it up here. Or I could be amazing I Have one that's another just chalk pick. Don't be safe dad Just dank fucking go for it. I've got one that's cool. And then I've got one that's like a bend Do you have to be alive I want to feel it I want to see you bend Do you have to be alive? I want to feel it. I want to feel you what? Wait, do you have to be alive legacy? I'm talking about legacy

That doesn't make sense Can't do that pick. I'm already getting I'm already getting flack. It's what I can't do it. Yep I'll tell you what it was after a ghost I'll tell you what it was after a ghost I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with Fucking The number 10

Soccer player on a Premier League team. So you are like a Lionel Messi basically. You're the best soccer player. Why don't you try it again? Wait, what? Can I try again? Yeah, why don't you try it again? All right, fine, let me take it back. Let me take it back.

Lionel Messi's number one, you're saying the number 10? No, but the number 10 jersey's like who's like your best player. Oh, the number 10. The number 10 on your team is always the best player. So you're the best player on a soccer team He's like your best like a midi right your best attacking. Maybe you should go with the Field the water said the person is dead. You maybe should try that one. No, I can't run it back. That's cheating

I just have to keep it. Okay, I Just have to keep it Yeah professional soccer player I like number ten yeah number 10 will make sense to people. I know what you mean cuz that's like it's like the quarterback Yeah, like who's uh, let's look up two athletes. I was thinking about I'm sure we mix it up Manchester United who's number 10? Let's see if he's cool. I don't even know Just got the best team now. I think so is a bad Sol is Liverpool, but he's leaving and I think he's a nine

Yeah, I Think nine is striker. Oh He wears 11. I Mean those guys are all pretty cool. What number is Your best soccer player Why did I do that? Oh. Your nine is your center forward

and your 10 is your central attacking. That's what I do, dude. Do we get five or four? I think we're gonna do five. So Chad, back to backy, baby. Back to back. All right. Holy shit, we're going for five?

This guy, this job, ladies love it. It's a talent that you can take anywhere. You're welcome in any home, you're welcome at any party, you're welcome in any restaurant. I'm talking celebrity chef. Good job. Whoa. Yeah, you got arm tattoos, you got, you know.

Yeah, yeah, if you're a. You have your tasting menu. What's his name? The guy who died. Gordon, oh. The guy who died. Oh, Anthony Bourdain. Oh, Anthony Bourdain.

If you're like a Bourdain. Oh, so you mean like famous chef, not chef for celebrities. Yeah, yeah, famous chef. Oh, okay, got me. Celebrityity. Yeah, that's a great pic Yeah, like a Bourdain Yeah, Ramsey a flay Mario Batali a roof King Paul emerald it emerald back in the day Speaking of getting sucked. Oh

Yeah, why don't you frame? I mean, it's the ladies though you can cook a dank meal He shot his mark up here white way to the heart is through the stomach. Yeah, it's what they say about men Rachel Ray Rachel Ray crushes. Yep, Martha Stewart do what's the who's the southern one? Fucking dude southern lady who's racist. Guy Fieri? No, but Guy Fieri is a sick job. I like Bobby Flay. I like beat Bobby Flay, whatever his show is, it's fun.

All those shows are great. And dude, honestly, to make good food. Paula Deen. Like the scene in Chef where John Favreau brings Scarlett Johansson home, and you're like, how is this possible? But then he makes her, like whips her up just some delicious pasta on the fly

and she's like admiring him, oh, it kind of makes sense. Like making food is sexy. Exactly. Jake, can you change it to famous chef, por favor? Thank you. I made fresh ravioli once. It's called ravioli, like al-oil or something. It's r Ravioli like al oil or something

it's at it's Ravioli but you put a egg you put a egg yolk inside of it. So when you open it, so I make the pasta I make the pasta fresh and then yeah and then so when you open it and that becomes sort of like the sauce and then you have a light butter sauce and I made it and I gave it Joe was there

and I gave him one and he he he puts the fork into it the egg oozes all over there's a little butter sauce and he goes there's not enough they're not enough pasta sauce like he want he wanted to be filled with like red sauce and stuff like that it's not enough sauce what a Philistine I mean I made it I made a perfect ravioli come on a real dish and Damn I feel cool in this fucking jacket man My mom got me this for Christmas. All right Chad one more pick Chad All right, these guys are these guys are the coolest dudes.

Oh yeah? In the country. These guys do the toughest workout. They have the toughest training. When you need a job to be done, you call on these guys. These guys aren't making the commands, they're getting the commands and they're making the headshots.

Navy SEALs. Hell yeah. Nice. With a podcast. Over Rangers or Delta? Yeah. Over the Marines. Where's the Marines Special Forces going?

I mean, Navy SEALs are the most famous. Sea Sack or something? Yeah, Navy SEALs are the most famous. Specifically, you should say SEAL Team Six, dude. SEAL Team Six. That's the highest team. or something yeah Navy SEALs are the most famous specifically you should say SEAL team six dude SEAL team six that's the highest team oh dude I got a fucking annoying one that I'm gonna pick

You're abstracted. What are you gonna do? Pick best basketball player. I probably should do the point card. You'd be fucking sick, bro. We're all acting like being a pro soccer player is a bad job over here, dude. All right. Here we go. Here we go.

Yeah. I'm in the premier league. That sucks. I could have a bad haircut and bang Instagram models. All right. Here we go, dude. I'm talking. I'm talking.

I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm talking. I'm talking, I'm in the premier league. That sucks. I could have a bad haircut and bang Instagram models. All right, here we go, dude I'm talking Now I don't know how cool this is in real life

But I got to make a case for it because it's cool in movies I'm thinking of what movies have I seen and what are the jobs in these movies that the dudes that I'm watching do or I Go, that'd be pretty Frickin fly. I'm with you. You know what I'm saying. That'd be something I might want to try to do fucking give it to in this Came out of World War two These agents so I'm gonna go with I'm gonna go with I don't know how to phrase this, but like a spy. Oh yeah, cool.

Spy, okay. You're a spy. You don't have to phrase it, you can just say spy. But is that what it's like? I'm talking like a sexy agent spy. You're very like Nicolas Cage right now. Yeah, thank you. He's like a linebacker who watches the quarterback.

Dude, yeah dude, take it back to sports, that's what I mean. It's the necklace. I'm talking to Mike back,backer who watches the quarterback. Dude, yeah, dude, that's taking back to sports. That's what I mean. It's the necklace. I'm talking to Mike back. He's spying the quarterback. Dude, I'm talking in a spy. I'm talking to you, James Bond, dude. You're fucking blending in.

You have to actually be an actor. The stakes are so high. You gotta get the nuclear codes or you gotta fucking assassinate someone. Spies, do I also get assassin with that? No, just spy. Assassin's completely different. Pretty sick though.

So I'm going with an international. Jake, I think we need the term international on there. International spy. I want them in different cities. You don't wanna be a domestic spy, that means you're spying on your neighbor. Yeah, I don't wanna go in and you'll be peeping in on anyone's session at Massage Envy.

I'm not talking about a pervert here. I'm talking about a spy. You are, you're enacted by some clandestine agency. You work for a room that doesn't exist in a building that's never been built at an address that is somewhere in Washington, DC. You're a man of mystery, bro. I like it. Kevo, take of mystery, bro. I like it.

Kevo, take us home, brother. All right, on this one, I feel like I went, you know, I started off badass, like these are cool jobs, these are badasses. Then I, you know, I went to like a, you know, a normal profession. And now, you know, I saw you guys dangling in the sports and I'm actually surprised that Chad didn't pick this one. Yeah, I saw you guys dangling in the sports and I'm actually surprised that Chad didn't pick this one. So I'm gonna go with probably the, I think the coolest athletes there are,

cooler than a quarterback, cooler than anybody, a pro surfer. Yeah, I was gonna pick that. Get on that fucking wave and hit that barrel. And sick fucking bra, come suck me baby whoa why don't you pick that Chad the longevity I mean you have you have to be in like the top top ten to really make money and you have fucking cool if you're

Kelly Slater if you're Kelly Slater. If you're Kelly Slater, that's cool. That's what I'm saying. But there's only one Kelly Slater. True. But that's what we're talking about. Shad's talked about this before, it's actually a really hard life going all the different-

Yeah, it's a lot of traveling and then- So is a fucking rock star, bitch. No, it's a lot of traveling and you don't earn a lot of money unless you're at the top. And then afterwards, it can be kind of sad. This is every profession we've listed. That's the president, the astronaut.

How many pro surfers can you name? How many astronauts can we name? Yeah, Kelly Slater, Andy Irons, Bruce Irons. Those are one of those that. That's pretty good. The O'Malley brothers the whatever the those two guys wingnut Dude you know, I was gonna go pro surfer too. I'm kind of pro pro surfer

Laird fucking hamilton that beast. I just saw bethany hamilton. I saw bethany hamilton running on the beach Oh, you did. Yeah, yeah, dude. It was badass. Did you say hi? No, I didn't want to bother her She was like super focused and like the waves were pumping that day, but she seems very focused dude She's strong to watching around and it was We might she's gone for a run on the beach She was like about to go in like they had like people not towing but they had wave runners out there to grab people out how interesting it was um

but a little kid was like real little was like that lady doesn't have an arm and But a little kid was like, real little, was like, that lady doesn't have an arm. And then his mom came up and was like, she lost it from a shark, but she still surfs every day and she never let it slow her down. And she paddles in on all the biggest waves with all the biggest surfers and she does it every day.

And it was like really, like made me choke up a little bit. It was really cool. Her husband is a hunk. Oh really? That guy's ripped and like. Let's get a picture of him. They're gonna have some badass kids. They are. Sounds like it's pretty sick to be a pro surfer. Yeah, she's 5'11". She looks 5'11".

She's all that. See, look at her husband, dude. No, go to the shirtless one. Go to the shirtless one. Yeah. Look at that guy. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, dude. Look at that guy. Fuck yeah. She's intense too. Yeah, the way she was running, I thought like I was like someone must be in danger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To do all of our jobs, you have to have autism.

Every one of these things on this list, that's the only way you're gonna be successful in life. This is a little close to chef. Yeah, yeah, you gotta be autistic. All that chopping. Oh, you got number one with Famous Chef. That's right. People love chefs right now, I think it's an in-pick.

Dude, you know what I was gonna say is not the surfer himself But the guy who does the rescues on the wave runner. The wave runner guy. Very sick as well Oh, that's a guy. Also the dudes that get love are the videographers who are like in the barrel Mm-hmm. Those guys. In the barrel or like snowboarding ones where they just go right off the kicker with you. Yeah Oh, yeah, those guys are busting big air too It's true. Yeah, sometimes the coolest guys not the guy. It's the guy behind the camera. Yeah, like in the skate video There's a dude on the holding the fish. I was Yeah, Jake you did that and I'm about to take this thing home with the title this picks about to be so annoying and

Everyone gonna take it the wrong way But I mean it in my bones if I had to go through this life and I could only pick one gig. How do you combine art? business Philosophy, how do you still be in the mix with a little bit of the rock star element where you're in front of the people? You get some credit for what you do you become a stand-up comedian. I Thought you guys were gonna rip on it. I mean, I like that you know,. It's out of favor. It's out of... It's because of this. It's because of podcasts. I love it. People think it's lame and too many comedians have called themselves philosophers when maybe the philosophy doesn't cut the mustard.

But I still at the end of the day think it's one of the coolest jobs you can have and when you're doing it and you're in the groove, when you're in front of a good crowd... Ooh, there's nothing better than that. And you're saying what you mean and it's coming out funny. And you're connecting. And you're connecting what you mean and it's coming out funny. And you're connecting. And you're connecting and you're not even thinking about what's next.

You're just talking and it's connecting. The adrenaline. I can't even go to sleep sometimes if it connects. And then afterwards, people are like, whoa, man, you were really in the zone up there. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. And it's a lot of fun. And people come to have fun.

And we've gone through the waves of it and stuff. So it's a little of fun and people come to have fun. Yeah, and you know, we've gone through the waves of it and stuff so it's a little harder when you're up close and now it seems like, you know, it's always changing but I think it's still a great great gig and I'd put it up there with... It's basically like Rockstar. It has the same fallout. It's like the same thing. You could be a stand-up comedian and live the saddest life of all time. Oh, it happens often. It could be so bad be a stand-up comedian and live the saddest life of all time. Oh it happens often. Like it could be so bad you know like when you lift the veil or whatever but but it is like it's incredible yeah you're fucking. But if you do it right yeah you do it right like Matt Reif then you are

Cosby Cosby. Yeah yeah no it's the best, dude. Fucking Carlin, fucking Prior, dude. And you know what? This longevity stuff, I hear you on that, but sometimes you gotta live fast and die young, baby. Well, you can be a good standup into your, I mean, you gotta be one of the, it's like surfing, you gotta be one of the guys

for anyone to care once you're after like 60. And you do gotta make it into a certain age range too, but this is yeah what um i gotta ask why did he not pick director oh scc is basically director i think stand-up comedian is a easier job in a way i think directing is a lot of like uh, which is kind of a headache. And it's also like people management. And what's nice about standup is that it's just you. It's just you. And I, you know, I know you got to manage like the tour and maybe like, you know, deal with agents and stuff, but like, there's no friction between you

and the art you want to create. It's, it's all up to you. It's all in your head and it's all what you can put into paper and it's all what you can articulate. With directing, you could have the best ideas and the best script, but if your cinematographer's not good and he doesn't catch the light right in what he's shooting, if your editor doesn't get it, and they kinda don't understand your pacing, if you can't get the rights to the right music, if the studio takes it from you and they chop it up,

it just feels like more things can go wrong with directing. Yeah, we're talking cool. But I do think, I do think- Cool directors, cool. Porn director. I think to be a great director- That's a cool director. If you're an amazing director,

I do think it takes maybe a little more bandwidth than it does to be a great comedian. JT, what about a porn director? That's a pretty cool gig. So our friend worked on porn sets, and he was really proud of the porn company he worked for because they had really high quality stuff. It was like that, who are the ones who do like the really good camera quality porn? Vixen.

Like Blacked and Vixen and those guys and Tushy. Vixen. He worked for them and he was super proud of his camera work and he talked a lot about one of the male porn stars and said he was the man and that chicks really dug him. So that was cool. Yeah, that's cool I'm gonna need you to thrust a little you know we already had movie stuff up there I might have just gotten too cute. No, I think stand-ups great I was gonna do a bend my bend was gonna be dead artists like a Picasso like you started an art movement Yeah, you know what I mean like you started an art movement Yeah, you know what I mean like, you know

I did Jake. Do you want to call Aaron or should I call him? What were you gonna go otherwise? Wasn't do otherwise You know what? No, nothing I guess I was gonna do fighter pilot but he already had astronaut. Yeah. And you guys had already done Navy Seal and stuff. Like a submarine captain I was thinking.

I was thinking inventor but that's too broad. Yeah. And then I was thinking playwright but then I was like. You wouldn't get love for that but it is cool. Well we have to put this on to here Aaron. Maybe lion tamer. That's cool. Yeah dude. Who's the DJ you guys this on to here, Aaron. Maybe Lion Tamer. That's cool.

Yeah, dude. Who's the DJ you guys had on? DJ who gets along with lions? Dude, I was gonna say- It's a good job. Oh, dude, yeah, well we had the- Oh, magician. Dude, that Lion Tamer guy we had on here was so funny because I listened, it wasn't on ours,

but I listened to an old interview he did and it must have been before he got any media training. And they were like, so what's cool about being a Lion Tamer? Heer so well, it's the best job in the world You know you with lions all the time and you know, it's funny. I see some comments calling it gay And the two guys in every you can hear them be like, what is this guy talking about? I see comments of people calling it gay and it's it's it's interesting to me because to me It's it's honestly like the the least gay job in the world.

Like working with lions is not gay at all. It's like, what dude? That's so funny dude. But he was a funny dude. He just got married. I still follow him on IG. Yeah, he like fell out of my feed for some reason. Yeah, mine too a little bit.

What happened? Did he stop posting or something? That was funny, our agent like repped him. Yeah mine too a little bit. What happened? Did he stop posting or something? That was funny our agent like repped him. Yeah. Our agent had like the widest net of clients where he'd be like all right I'm gonna hook you up with this pizza guy and then you're gonna meet the lion tamer and I was like let's go. Dude that's awesome. What up? Hey what up? Hi? That's Kevin All right, did did uh, did Jake send you the list Yes, I have it

Aaron before we begin so I DM'd with Aaron a little bit over the holiday. I thought you never drank before Aaron said he had some marks in Cab Cabo. Fuck yeah. Yeah. He said he's had some of those long margs on the Vegas strip before too. He's had one of those. Oh really? Yeah.

Yeah. In New Orleans I did, yeah. I thought you had never drank as well. No, no, I get after vacation. Aaron, did you have any pina coladas in Mexico? I was just in Mexico and I had a lot of pina coladas. Love them. They're fucking delicious.

I love them fucking delicious. I love them No No, no just I stuck to strawberry margaritas, ooh nice like the strawberry yeah, frozen is the style dude Yeah, should we let Aaron know that me and strider are wearing gold chains, and I'm wearing a leather jacket I Like it we're cool. Thank you. Yeah. Right on. Do you guys need me to recap? Um, no you can just go down to your ranked list and just maybe repeat them while you do that. Okay. Well I like, I like all of it. I can already tell, it I can already tell I can already tell that the list that starts SEC football coach is JT. Wow. Wait so that was no loss. Wait so you think that that list was more obvious than the one that said bounty hunter strip club DJ? I think he knows. Yeah yeah he knows need this to be on Vice. We need this to be on Vice. What are we doing here?

I think he knows, I think he knows, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah, he knows. That could be fun. Who do you think, which list is which? Oh, maybe not actually. Is that gonna affect your? No, no, not at all. But it made me laugh,

because I was like immediately, that's JT. Aaron, you know me too well, brother. All right, I'm gonna go, let me go down, let's see, number four. God, the doctor. Well, what's the best job to me? It's something cool. Yeah, we said cool.

We've been saying cool. Cool, not super stressful. Make a lot of money. And so some of these are like like President United States, not worth it. I would say that right now. Don't do it. How wouldn't say that right now. Don't do it. Very stressful.

Very stressful, dangerous, people are shooting at you. Hey Aaron, do you know what's not a stressful job? What's that? A suck job. I tried it on him too. That's true. So yeah, so that's my criteria. But let me see number four. I think as fun as it sounds, bounty hunter, strip club DJ, what drug lord, mafia boss, urologist, which I don't think is just Cox.

I think he could also work on women. No, no, they can't. That's a gynecologist. Some of the comments making fun of Kevin were something like, not even a surgeon? So funny. Yeah, urologist does men and women. Gynecologist just does like all,

just the female anatomy. Yeah, why don't you go with OBGYN? Urolog, huh? Gyno is what does women. Yeah, but. Urologist does men and women. I'm talking about cock here. I know, I know.

I guess you could be a guy who specializes in cocks. Yeah. Oh, urologist works on women too? You can pick your patient. Says urologists look at urine, bro. No, no, urologist is shaft and sack. They cut the ladders. Oh yeah, okay, I guess.

I guess. Is the urinary tract? Yeah. Dude, you could not have picked a worse thing, dude. No, it's not your date. It's your kidney stones and kidney pockets. No, they threw that too, but it's unbelievably lame. You're just looking at pee?

It's one of the lamest games ever, dude. Who's gonna do your cock enlargement surgery? They do that too, but it's unbelievably late Your cock enlargement surgery Important no they don't do that. They don't get to do that. That's plastic surgery. You should be a plastic surgeon Yeah plastic surgery school. I almost pick that yeah, but what if you if something's wrong with your balls. It's urologist you P. No, man. You just have piss. Yep. No, that's a urine ology a little piss God Fucking losers Fucking dispersing the name of Aaron could be saying this is your first point your office is too stupid Proctologist yeah, that would have been funny. Oh the ass doctor. God damn it This is bullshit cuz they Aaron knew the list otherwise Well it's not swaying me because I do love Kevin. Someone in chat is calling you P man.

Like penis man? Doctor piss dude in the piss doctor dude All right next I think I'm gonna go See what's my number one is clear. It's the next two that I'm not so sure about but I think I think Sorry JT. I'm gonna go SEC head football coach. Here's the thing, I knew I was gonna get third or second once you already knew it was me because once you know it's me you can't put me in last and you can't put me in first. Why can't he put you in last? He knew it was me he put me in last.

I think it feels too, it feels like bias either way. No, no, piss doctors very clearly last. That's true. It's not a piss and cock and balls come. He's a come doctor too. When you shoot your loads you have to go. You know what? I think, I think I know who's gonna win now. So I think yeah. We'll see, we'll see, then number two is going to be astronaut president, primatologist. That can't be true. Famous chef is fun. Oh, you gave it to professional soccer player number 10? You gave it to chat GVT dude. Yeah, what the fuck?

That's the most chat GVT list Strider's ever done. It is chalk, you're not wrong. It's chalk. So you didn't bet, you went straight down. You did what was hard for you, dude. I did. You competed. The title is yours.

Thank you, brother. Aaron, excellent taste. You're a man of taste. Guys, I'm honored to hold this belt in 2025. The Pars being the fantasy champions of our fantasy league, it would have just been too tough if they won one more thing Thank you for saying that out loud. I appreciate that man, dude. It's crazy one. Congrats Chad. Good second Not having Chris here helped it helped when Kevin, you know, it was a group effort. Kevin did pick piss doctor, which did help me

We need a we need to settle this. My brother is gonna shoehorn something progressive into his list. It would have upset me. Peace Corps? Yeah, he's gonna like. Being a woman or something. The urinary tract and a mother.

Yeah, exactly, God's job. Being a mother. And the reproductive system. Sorry, Chris, I'm just fucking with you. I love you. Okay, so we're talking about urinary tract shit and your cock and your balls. It doesn't say the cock and balls part, it just says the urinary tract stuff.

You're a piss god, dude. Yep. Male infertility, cock dog. You think that's cool? Erectile dysfunction, yeah, he's saving your cock. But that's a tough gig. Yeah. That sounds hard as fuck. Yeah, he's a hero. Yeah, he's saving your cock. But that's a tough gig. Yeah, that sounds hard as fuck. Yeah, he's a hero Yeah, no doubt. No doubt

I'm gonna have to be a Good sport about this You've done it We miss you man Good judging brother. Aaron you're the man. Alright. Bye Aaron, have a nice Jack.

What a beast dude. Let's go, this feels nice. Jake what do you think is the coolest job? In general. I mean dude, I mean like, you know, can your job be on Twitch? Like, can you be like, you know what I'm saying dude? Like, dude, listeners didn't even know that that wasn't Aaron dude. Dude, you're fucking feeling it dude.

Oh yeah, Jake, sorry, sorry. You're fucking feeling it Strider. It's the fucking chain baby. Vibed dude. Let's go to a fucking, let's go to a fucking. I'm going to the strip club and I'm wearing nothing but my belt. Where that belt hole, that's where the belt hole is. That's where the belt.

When I was a kid what I wanted to be was a sports commentator. It's a cool job. I think Lil Ferrell wanted to do that. I was gonna pick Al Roker's job. Oh yeah, sports commentator's cool. Yeah, newscaster. Al Roker's job. Weatherman.

Specifically, Weatherman for the Today Show. Okay, so nice Dallas rains rips That guy's pretty cool. Very beloved The weatherman that's your favorite movie Nick Cage movie, isn't it? The weatherman? Yeah, you love that one I don't know what's the one that you love. You have the family man, dude It's you watch it pig. I haven't seen yeah. Oh, it's good. Hey, just called like pig. He's like a truffle farmer or something Yeah, it's actually very good. Well in the like pig. He's like a truffle farmer. So yeah, it's actually very good in the family man. He's very Yeah, he's like I'll have the caviar and I'll have the you call that a suit It's pretty hilarious

It's gonna be tough when I have LA cars wearing this belt if I get like in and out of a Mini Cooper It's gonna be pretty tough to get in and out of doors, but I gotta wear Falconer would be a cool job like the dude at the Seahawks game who let the Seahawk go calls it back Nature photographer when I was talking with my wife. She said that's cool. I got pretty sick. Oh, Randy Johnson the unit does that. Oh Yeah, yeah, he's just out in Africa. Just fucking taking sick photos. It doesn't it's sporting events, too, right? Yeah, he does sport. Yeah, it's kind of like hunting but without having to kill the animal, which is nice Have you seen that video of Randy Johnson in like spring training and he throws a pitch and it just takes out a bird Yes, my greatest videos are it's one of the greatest sports clips. I think we did that on our sports clip

Or was it an honorable mention? Maybe? Yeah Moments in sports there's no blood Literally, it literally vaporizes the bird. It's amazing. What does the Randy Johnson's pitch vaporize? Oh, yeah Private investigator that seems kind of that's tough. Yeah, these are tough gigs We're like the PIs like my husband's cheating on me. Go to like, follow him to like, you know. Yeah, it's not, I actually work... Yeah, hire private investigators and doesn't sound... It's not like...

Yeah, you just... Dude, River Afton Guide is a sick job, actually. Can we cover one more big topic that's for some reason totally captured my imagination, even though it's incredibly stupid? Yeah. The Baldoni Blake Lively thing. Oh dude, I got some intel on it.

You do? Whoa, can you spill? The hot goss. Well, yeah, what were you saying? Well, I mean, just the lefts and rights of it. You know, like, so first, I did think it was weird when the movie came out that all these clips were suddenly in my,

for you, page of just Blake Lively being like, not horrible, but just kind of rude and out of touch. Yeah. Which I didn't think a big thing of it, but when you watch like 10 of them in a row, you do wanna dislike the person. And it felt weird to me that, it kinda felt arbitrary. And then the whole internet was like against her. Then this New York Times article drops like a week ago,

and it's got all these things that like Justin Baldoni hired a PR team to attack her. And some of the quotes in it were like, they're like, we can totally destroy someone's lives. And I'm like, oh shit, and totally destroy someone's lives and I'm like Oh shit, and it felt true to me. I was like, oh my god then and but in my head I'm like, they're both probably just big a-holes and and movie stars have huge egos and her

punks and do aren't like Normal then Baldoony comes back with a counter suit and it's got a bunch of crazy stuff in there too. What's in his counter suit? I didn't really get into detail on that. Basically it's just like, it's just her being like a prima donna basically. Yeah. So he said he had a bad back so he wanted to know how much she weighed because he has like a herniated disc to see if he could pick her up and then Ryan Reynolds came and yelled at him for fat shaming her.

Oh that's why he yelled at him? Yeah. Wow. And then like she says that he like kind of made her feel sexually uncomfortable because he came into her dressing room when she was like naked. And then he shows text messages of her being like,

hey, I'm pumping because she had just had a kid but you can come in. Oh really? And stuff like that. But it's all, they're all pulling out their own excerpts. So it's hard to know. You want to know my professional legal opinion on this? Yeah.

It's fucking dumb shit on both sides. It's very stupid. Why the fuck is this a lawsuit on both sides? Slander or libel. This is fuck you money lawsuits. This is where you just have all the fucking money in the world and you can just file, pay your lawyers fucking $1,000 an hour

and just do it for, whether you think it's a just cause or not. This doesn't need to be a lawsuit. I know. It's all just them trying to win the court of public opinion to be more. It was weird. The New York Times article was doing Blake Lively's work for her. It was weird.

I almost feel like Ryan Reynolds has enough pull where he was like, yo, New York Times or in Blake Lively, it was like, New York Times, you should do this article. Maybe they're friends was someone there. And I think what happened is in my mind, Baldoni is like very worried about like his public image. And when Blake Lively, I kind of took the movie from him and started ex-communicating him from the press, he got really scared that some of the little

miscommunications they had would get blown up the way they, so then he went, he's like, I gotta get her first. And then he hired their PR firm. And then he kind of let the dogs loose on her. Yeah. And then that they went too far. And then that made Blake Lively. These are, these are the luckiest people in the world. Yes. Get on like a, you know, have six, at least fairly successful, like they're on a movie or whatever. They're both, I don't know who's being an asshole. I don't, I don't, the real, the focus on this is though,

I'm surprised you even looked into the details of this. I've been obsessed. No, it's beneath being a human. And women, like Steph, my wife is obsessed with this too. Women love this shit. But when you're in the fucking, when you're in the fucking system, man, when you're deep in the fucking legal system and you see this shit, you're so stressed out from every fucking

case you have, all the fucking litigation and all the shit, and then you see this shit. Who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? Can I explain why I like it? One, I was reading about housing and all that stuff for a while and I needed a palate cleanser. Two, the reason I like this scandal is because it's too a-holes but no one got too hurt. There's no violence involved.

There's nothing too sad about it. So I can pour energy into it without feeling too bummed like you know how like some stories you're like oh this is kind of fun but then you read the gory details and you're like oh dude this is just pure bummer like this person got abused this one is just two egomaniacs who are gonna have all their egomania unveiled to the public it'll be embarrassing but it won't be like I hope I don't think it'll be life-destroying yes like it's like it's like TMZ it's real housewives it's it's just like basic drama but I don't know I don't think it'll be life-destroying. Yes, like it's like it's like TMZ. It's real housewives It's it's just like basic drama, but I don't know I haven't actually read any of the shit

And I don't know I'll send it to you. You know it could be Could be something where you know Justice needs to be served by the lawsuit even though there's no like it does not even clear What damages there are and if it's just to prove a point, but maybe I'm wrong Maybe you know he hired a PR firm to like destroy her yeah that's crazy the guy's a douche and probably because I was talking on the loop I talked to Luke on the flight about it and um he's like that's a career ender that for Baldoni oh yeah but do we need to tell me I mean no one's gonna want to work with

him now right do we need to have multiple lawsuits about this? Or is it like, do we need to have, I think there's a state lawsuit and a federal lawsuit. We're just talking the T right now. So you know the text messages, how they got leaked? Yeah. Okay, so one of the, so the owner of the PR company, she wasn't aware of this whole thing. And so one of the people she had, one of her employees did this with Baldoni.

And then when she heard about it, she turned over the text to Lively's camp. Whoa. Because she's like, that's how I kind of wash my hands of this. And in return, Lively's camp didn't like name the PR firm. They just named the PR person and then that lady fired. That's Game of Thrones right there.

Isn't it? Yeah. But you know what's crazy though is I think in Hollywood, Lively's gonna win. Yeah. But in the court of public opinion, I think Baldoni's gonna win. You see in the comments, a lot of people are like, I still don't like Lively. They're against Lively. She's a mean girl and she's like, she just seems like a mean girl.

She's hanging with Taylor Swift. Everyone just wants to take her down. They don't like her. They think they, now I'm seeing videos that she was like cheating with Reynolds when he was still with Scar Joe. They're going back deep. They're pulling clips of her from PR

for Gossip Girl being rude, delight and meestered. And then Baldoni did a really smart thing. When he promoted the movie, he was super serious about it. He was like, this is a very serious movie about serious stuff, and I'm here to protect women. And I think he's kind of full of it, but people are buying it.

I know, the big red flag to me with him on top of all the other stuff, but the fact that he started his production company as sort of like a male feminist. We we're gonna champion what I'm like that If you have to like you know something off with you, you gotta take that angle Yes, I know it's like what do you you need to virtue signal that he's he's going big on it He's any when he does clips with people my brother said he saw him and he was in Jane the Virgin Remember was a hey, my wife's a big fan and then And then Baldoni goes, let's make a video for her.

Oh really? Like the guy is, let's make it happen all the time. And when he felt that being taken from him, I think he overreacted and was like. So is the prediction here is that this is just gonna be an end up as like a douche stalemate. Like nothing's gonna be resolved from this. I do think Baldoni's career is kinda muffed. Is Blake Lively's, or is she moving to directing now? I think she's married be resolved from this. I do think Baldoni's career is kind of muffed.

Is Blake Lively's or is she moving to directing now? I think she's married to Ryan Reynolds. I think she'll be fine. That's the thing with her too is she's like a decent actress but because she's Ryan Reynolds' wife, I think that's why people want to take her down. Because she's at this level because she's Ryan Reynolds' wife where she should be like here. I think people are like, oh you get to hang with Taylor Swift and everyone kind of is just like fuck you I think you're right And then people like why would Blake lively get to take a movie from someone else like it's not like she's like Meryl Streep or

Something I guess Lena Gomez was do we know anything about they offered it to her first is Valdoni Does he packing a huge dong to is there something? If he has a small dong that means we have a reason to like him. You know what started a company that champions women with a big penis? He has a small dong. Yeah. When she brought up the sexual harassment stuff too, I think that's what flared him and Because she was like, hey, we need a new intimacy coordinator.

So once he saw the writing on the wall, he's like, oh, she's gonna make me look like a predator. Yeah. To all guys, but to that guy that's like the worst thing that could ever happen. Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to know because I asked, you know, a source. Nice. You have a source? Nice. No, it's just a guy.

I just don't want to say his name too much. I don't know. I don't know if it, I don't think it does anything but. Joe Morisi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's Joe Morisi and he's like I'm like well is the sexual harassment stuff legit he's like it's a little overblown maybe he's just like it's weird behavior so I and that's and I think you're exactly right he got scared and did this like he's like we need to destroy her I think he

was really scared of I think to the thing where he said Oh, I fucked this girl like a porn star. I can't imagine him saying that to her. Yeah in regular comic He seems too smart. Yeah, that would be a crazy maybe in character. He said that when he was going nuts Yeah, like an acting I can't see him saying that yeah, just cutting the cutting the shit with her We'll see though. Thank you for getting in on that. Yeah, I'm very, I'm invested. I mean, it's a crazy story. It's also, it is scary how they can harness

social media like that. And then erase old posts and like rewrite the past, like at least internet style. You know what would be an interesting experiment, I wouldn't wanna see this happen, but just as an experiment, they tried that on Keanu. Oh, they totally could.

You think they could make everyone hate Keanu? They could do it to anyone I think. Wow. You mean Keanu? Keanu's the man. It's like when I went to David Icke, the conspiracy guy when I was in high school, to convince all the people in the audience

that George Bush was in the Illuminati, and that all the cabal of power existed with all these leaders the guy I just showed like 30 photos of them doing the peace symbol Oh, yeah, and then he's like that is an illuminati symbol And so this you can find the origins of this in pagan ritual This means power above the commoner right here now look at these photos They're not even hiding it and it's just like Tony Blair and yeah, and by the end it, we're all like, oh like if you just create a theory and then you show us five images We're like hook line. It's a they do that with the elites all the time They're like they're doing like weird things like Rihanna like the triangle at the Super Bowl. You're like, what are you talking about?

Something's just look cool. Come on. Yeah, exactly. Like it's just a sixth stage. She's dancing I took a shit next to him and he wiped three times. All right was well one more question. Yeah, maybe this one's too heavy, but What do you guys think of Jay Z? I'm waiting for more facts on that one. I don't even know I don't know anything It's like I don't I don't follow this stuff see in the diddy list or something like that. I mean, there's one lawsuit Alleging that he had sex with a minor. That's excellent. No, yes, there's one lawsuit alleging that he had sex with a minor. I had sex with a minor. Oh no. See, that's bad. It's happened too many times in the recent past where people in power were doing things like that for me to be like totally naive about it. But I don't know. I'm waiting for more. Do you have like...

I don't have any. I'm just curious. I let that shit resolve itself. We don't know anything about... I don't know anything about it. I'm not stoked on it. It's all bad. Like, I don't want to see someone who's successful go down necessarily just because I think they're lame or whatever. And then the victim, that's horrible for them. And it's just like, just let justice be served swiftly and effectively. What is this podcast turned into? We're having fun.

This is fun? Dude, I will say, when I was out of town for Christmas, I was working out and there was a trainer from the hotel there. And we started talking, super nice lady. She's explaining to me about Hawaiian culture and stuff. Really nice. And then she's like, so you're in entertainment? I'm like, barely.

She's like, but tell me, are there really a lot of devil pedophiles out there? And I was like, not in my experience. Wait, devil pedophiles as opposed to other kind of pedophiles? She just meant priests. I was like, not in my experience. Wait, you have whole pedophiles as opposed to other pedophiles? Or she just meant like, pre-names. Like, is there like a, is all of Hollywood like a huge pedo ring? And I'm like, I don't know, because even like, we know some people who are pretty...

Like, some of our friends have like, are connected in that way. They think they're, it's there. I'm like, wouldn't you be in it if it was that big? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Maybe they want to be. Yeah. They're trying to get in. They're asking us, because the tone when they ask us, they're like, dude, do you guys know where it is?

Is that what it's called? It's called a peto ring? Do you know about that? No, I don't know. We should create like a positive ring. I think it's, we are. What's the opposite of a petal ring? A geriatric ring. A circle jerk.

Yeah, a circle, but like a consensual circle jerk. Be nice. A ring. Guys, before we end, I have a Christmas present. Oh, hey. Dude. I got you guys. Whoa. Baby. Fast and Furious tees. That's awesome. Oh, hey, dude, I got you guys Whoa, baby

Fast and Furious T. Oh Nice. Yeah, thank you Thank you legend, I think they're all the same all excels nice good, dude Technically extra medium, but that's fine, dude Technically extra medium, but that's fine, dude. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine, dude. Dude, this is sick.

We all need to wear this together. Is this the new Fast and the Furious coming out? Dude, I might take that shirt from you. Yeah. Oh, it's original. I mean, bro. Original, okay. Okay.

Let me smell it to make sure. That was sick. Dude, 17 year old kid next to me on the the plane while both my babies were just screaming their heads off He was watching fast and furious. Oh he was he watched like three of them in a row Oh, you brought your kids on vacation. Yeah. Yeah, I went on vacation. We left the kid. Oh you did Yeah, we don't but you wouldn't bring that into It was really it was really fun, but the flight is Awful, but once you're there, it's the best.

But the flight is- But did your mom come and take or help out? Or is this you, you just brought the kids alone? My mom helped, but we did like 90% of it. But you could go out at night then, right? Or no? We would switch, actually we didn't even switch. Once they went to sleep, my lady would hang

and I would go get dinner by myself. Nice, but you liked that. I did, yeah. It's relaxing. It's you time. I got stoned one night and I just like journaled by myself. Nice, but you like that. I did. That's relaxing. It's you time. I got stoned one night and I just like journaled and ate. Love that. That sounds nice.

Wine ribeye, what'd you get? No, dude, I wasn't eating a lot of protein. I was getting like eight eggs a day, dude. Dude, let's go, dude. Dude, I was eating, I had dessert every meal. Good for you on your cruise. You looked like you were having a ball. Oh, you were dancing?

Yeah, I was getting updates. I was getting up dates. That was pumped. Did you win that sexy man contest? No. I lost to the Puerto Rican man. Were there any comedians on the cruise? Was he sexy? Was it a...

There were some legit sexy guys like Jack who were like really into it. They sound like bitches. Why would they do that? My mom signed me up. For it? Good, yeah, good. You're sexy, dude.

And she felt bad after. Oh, really? Like she threw you in the deep end of the... She's like, I'm sorry I made you do that. I'm like, good. Yeah, sexy dude and She felt bad after Like she threw you in the jizz. I'm sorry. I made you do that. I'm like, but you were the funniest I bet Dude, I honestly these older guys. I think we're funnier really. Oh, yeah They got I mean there's some like 60 year old guys getting in there just They have like it's funnier because it's funnier for them to do it. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't count What was your were there any cruise comedians? There was a show I didn't see it. Oh You didn't see who was on it. I looked I didn't recognize no

No field used to do that he Theo did a cruise like ship that our friend was on I call it our friends in college. I did one of the college cruise. Yeah, he was a comedian on it. Yeah Yeah, yeah, oh me does a lot of cruises. It was a comedian on it. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I'm a tea or my name probably does a lot of cruises It was before he was famous they came back to like you guys got to see this guy Theo Vonos I do from road rules. Really? Yeah, that's cool He was good. I heard it paid. I heard it pays good Pays good you get to equity gig dude. I would I would go where did the cruise go? Virgin iso st. Thomas St. Martin's Oh and then Royal Caribbean's private, Bahama Island, so St. Thomas, St. Martin's,

and then Royal Caribbean's private Bahama Island, Coco Cay. Oh, baby. How are the cruise folk, how are the people on the cruise? Middle America, what is it? Yeah, I'd say so, like family, there's a lot, just families. Families.

Who are these sexy snipers that are in there? Dude, I mean, there's this Puerto Rican guy that's hot. Are there wolves? What's he doing at night? Are there lone wolves? Was he cool? Was he sleeping with women and stuff? It looked like it.

My sister was like, that guy was in the gym every day. Do you think that's a thing? Can we get him on the pod? Yeah. I should go on this. Oh man. You guys should get him on the pod. Get him on the pod.

I was too nervous to ask for his number. True, true, true. He's too hot. Do you think that's a thing that like a lone wolf would go on a cruise ship and just bang all the like. Oh yeah. I'm the type of guy who would do that and then just strike out every night,

not even talk to anybody. But I would, I have that optimism. Dude, that's a great short film, dude. We should do that as a short film, dude, call it the strike out. Yeah. Cruise bang bus, but like on a cruise. Dude, I remember my, we went on a cruise and like my,

it gets weird on cruises. Yeah. It gets weird? I eat a lot of everything, dude. If you're young and single on a cruise. You're getting an STD. I think people get an international waters too. My cousin was like 16, she was a pretty gal

and like she was hanging out with like 30 year olds. Yikes, dude, that maritime law. Yeah, it was getting weird. Yeah. I. Is that what people think? They can bang a 16 year old. I swear to God there's something in the human brain where they get up and they're like,

hey, this is okay. When you're in court and there's like a crazy person being prosecuted for something, they'll always just be so crazy. They'll fire any like public defender or anything and they'll go what's called pro-pur and they'll fire any like public defender anything and they'll go what's called pro-pur and they'll represent themselves and they all have the same fucking speech and they go I do not consent to this jurisdiction and then they bring up all these cases about maritime law they have some all the crazy people have a speech about like pursuant to maritime law 16.34. This court does not have jurisdiction

and they'll go on for like eight hours. Just, just- Did the crime even happen at sea when this is happening? No, no, they're just talking about maritime law. It's, I've never heard so much about- Just insanity. Maritime law. Like in urine, you're in Fullerton.

Tell me about the fountain valley dude. me the guy's being charged. In a back alley. Yeah, dude maritime yet International waters you do wild shit. He looks like he had fun though. It's like a good hang. I yeah, I needed it. It was like I needed to be okay. Yeah, it's true and Marco took your fiance On a nice cruise as well, so they stayed on Coco K the whole time. Okay, nice. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool This and it sort of caught me. I feel like I raised up boat person

Yeah, I feel like I raged out when we were talking about the woman stuff you were talking about and I like screamed which will Like the the T the TMZ stuff. Baldoni's a guy. No, but like the gossip stuff. Well, because we merged away from cock. But yeah, I felt like I was screaming. No, that was good, it was good you did that. It was good?

Yeah, we were talking about like silly stuff. I didn't go too hard. I didn't go too hard on that. No, no, no, it was good, it was good energy. We need passion. I feel like my blood, I'm a little more, we're talking about cruises and bang cruises. We do it all, baby. Here's something that'll relax blood. Yeah passions good. I'm uh, I'm a little more we're talking about cruises and bang cruises We do some they'll relax you. Yeah penis. Mmm

You're the piss God dude. You're the piss God. I mean we got a dude a urologist on to describe what he does cuz You know, we got a cover on the next pod too There's a guy for the Atlantic who just wrote an article kind of taking down cruises Biggest cruise We should listen then come on here and trash them on the next episode. I'm trying to write a bit about it I haven't tried on stage about

How much I love just corny? Yeah, I love cruises. I love Disneyland. I love chilies. Yeah, I love cruises I love Disneyland I love Chili's yeah I love Orlando you love yes Orlando is like my Rome you know it is yes it's my personal I've never seen you happier dude the call the bummer you fell when we didn't have time to do the Guardians right yeah the Rome at the Coliseum Orlando has Epcot Center hey Chad you want to take my kid to Disneyland because I don't want to go no I want to go to Epcot and I want to get a drink at every city in the world. I know I want to do that so bad. We gotta do that.

I know it's a great call. And then I want to just go to that pub in England. Oh yeah. Yeah. Dude, you know what's cool in Epcot, how everyone who works at the place is from the place. Yeah. They're like on contracts. They got like 6,000 visas over there.

Is that still going to fly in the Trump admin? They're out They're all jacked and blonde They're all just hot blonde My sister my sister's super liberal she's being funny she's hammered and she's like she's like, how do we just let them? How do we just let? the right take patriotism Like I'm not patriotic. I love that shit. That's nice. Yeah, let me just let that happen I was gonna run as a next time I run for city council. I'm running my mantras. I love pussy and the poor

I'm running my monstrous. I love pussy and the poor The two peas the two peas I might be a citizen in your city my dank ass wife and I are looking for a two-bedroom apartment Oh, so we might we're looking we're looking a little bit of South Pass, but I'm trying to get over to Burbank Beautiful Valley Sherman Oaks, you know, we're like this valley area. Okay, we're not sure what is not bad But Magnolia parks nice. It's not a ton of something by a park. There's a lot of good parks in Burbank It's a little slower. Are you ready for that? Are you I want that? I think that's exactly that's a very big plus for us Dude south pass is beautiful too. They own that's close. Oh, that's I mean, that's really nice. Yeah

We'll see. Alright bros. Good job guys. Good draft. Alright. Kev, thanks for coming in. Jake, did you get that? need advice. These guys are really nice. You wanna know what to do and where to go. When you need someone to guide you, it's nice to have the girls beside you. Going free, going deep

What's the need for going deep? Try to maintain