Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 49 - Jimmy Tatro and Christian Pierce Join
Episode Date: December 19, 2018What up stokers, we have an epic episode for you today as we are joined by the creators of The Real Bros of Simi Valley, Jimmy Tatro and Christian Pierce. We discuss their careers, bag tag, modern r...omance, and bonding with your dawgs. Check it out and be sure to check out the second season of Real Bros. Chad plays a small role in episode 4! Check it here: https://www.facebook.com/therealbrosofsimivalley/ For bonus content, check out our patreon: www.patreon.com/chadgoesdeep
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what's up dudes this ad is for uci baseball and specifically their pitching coach daniel babona
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What's up, guys? This is Chad Kroger coming in with Going Deep with Chad and JT Podcast.
I'm here with my compadre, John Thomas. What up?
Boom clap, Stokers.
Oh, what up, Stokers? And we're here joined by Jimmy Tetra and Christian Pierce. What
up, dude?
What's happening?
What's going on?
Couple legends of Stoke here.
Legends of Stoke.
You might know them from Life According to Jimmy YouTube, Real Bros of Simi Valley.
Second season just came out on Facebook Watch.
Indeed.
Oh, yeah.
And it's got two episodes out right now.
Two episodes.
They're hilarious.
By the time this comes out, maybe more.
Oh, yeah.
We're recording.
It's probably the fourth one's coming out the week of release.'s a big one it is a big one big one that's uh that's where uh young chad over here
makes his appearance oh dude yeah i got my my cameo i eagerly await that it's a pretty solid
it's a pretty solid cameo oh dude thank you you guys gonna like it everyone he had everyone rolling
on set he was saying some weird shit i. I can curse on this, right?
Absolutely.
Okay.
Sick.
Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
I don't know any other adjectives.
Yeah, that was a lot of fun.
You guys just let me just roll with it for like 15 minutes.
We should get him just that footage of him just talking.
I know, just the sequence.
Yeah, because it's so funny shit in there.
I was telling him I'd piece together just like a sequence of all the best shit you said,
and I feel like that'd be a good thing to get to you in your hands.
I'd enjoy it.
Yeah.
It was just like all the weird.
He just started going, dude.
I don't know where you pull this shit from.
It's just like you were saying the weirdest shit
i think it was the role i was born to play yeah that's the peak
afterwards i was like driving home like yeah it's downhill after that
if you really get to know him he feels like an alien almost sometimes just this like sweet bro
alien that came to earth yeah sweet bro alien. That's nice.
I do sprints a lot.
Which is kind of what I always wanted as a friend.
Yeah.
Oh, dude, thank you.
Oh, man.
That's so nice.
Yeah.
How'd you guys get together?
We met in college.
Yeah, we hooked up one night.
Oh, dude.
Yeah.
What drew you to each other in that respect?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Was it the Corn Roast? No, we were in the same fraternity, actually.
At U of A, right?
Yeah.
What frat?
We were in Pi Kappa Phi.
That's right.
Oh, dude, I'm Pi Kappa Alpha.
You're Pike?
I'm Pike.
You're the house next door.
Dude, Flex.
Oh, nice.
Flex.
That's how y'all met?
Together?
No, we were boys before that.
Yeah.
Okay, cool.
Yeah.
Where are you guys from?
Orange County.
Orange County.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Oh, so Cowboys. I don't know why I thought you guys were from a different part of the country. No, San Clemente. Yeah. Where are you guys from? Orange County. Orange County. Okay. Yeah.
I was so cowboy.
I don't know why I thought you guys were from a different part of the country.
No, San Clemente.
Oh.
Yeah.
And you guys went to Notre Dame?
He went to Notre Dame.
Oh, okay. Notre Dame, yeah.
Dude, good athletic history there.
Oh, yeah.
I did a little background on the people who have passed through there, and it's like a
huge Wikipedia page of stars and luminaries and whatnot.
Yeah, we got a- Did you know mike stanton i when
he was mike stan john carlos i mean i yeah john carl he was mike in high school um i didn't know
him in high school i've like met him since then um but like my buddy eric who's like one of my
best friends was on the baseball team with him so So we knew of each other.
And then I met him a couple times after we graduated.
But yeah, he's on another level right now.
And no one's surprised.
I thought he was going to the NFL.
And then I thought he might go to the NBA.
And then baseball season came around.
Everyone's like, no, he's a baseball guy.
I was like, oh, fuck.
Yeah, sometimes those guys make the wrong call, too. I mean, dude, like no he's a baseball guy oh fuck yeah sometimes
those guys make the wrong call too I mean he could have dude he could have been a pro punter
that guy could punt like 70 yards right it was nuts he was just he could have done anything
Dave LeBron would have went to the NFL he'd still be playing oh man I think he absolutely would have
been in the NFL and like have like a contract still Still playing. He's what, like 34? 32?
I mean.
34?
I think he's 34.
But do you think he would have had like a career?
Like he would have been.
Yes.
Oh yeah.
Really?
I mean, there's always like a factor if he didn't like get in and hit.
Right.
But he's a pretty tough competitive guy.
I'd assume he could handle it.
I think if he was a tight end, he'd be unstoppable.
Yeah.
6'9".
You'd have to be right.
280.
Yeah.
I mean, he like makes other tight ends look small. Does he have hands? unstoppable. Yeah. 6'9"? You'd have to be right. 280? Yeah. I mean, he makes other tight ends look small.
Does he have hands?
Yes.
Yes.
I feel like he does.
He's got everything.
He's got everything.
Yeah.
That was a dumb question.
Yeah, dude.
You should have gone for it.
And now there's Kyler Murray.
He's like a two-sport stud now.
Who's that?
The Heisman winner from Oklahoma.
Oh, man.
But he's not going to play football.
I mean, he's 5'10", so he's a little short for a quarterback,
but he's going to play baseball instead.
He's got like a $4.5 million contract from the A's.
Dude, if you can play baseball professionally, play baseball.
Wait, the dude who just won the Heisman?
Yeah.
What the fuck?
And he's going to go play baseball?
Yeah.
He might do both now.
Who knows?
I mean, that might be the move, though.
He's 5'10", quarterback.
Yeah.
Can make $4 million playing baseball.
Right.
Eh.
How tall is Baker?
Like 5'10", right?
5'10", but the likelihood is...
Right.
Russell Wilson.
And the longevity of football.
Right.
Play baseball.
Yeah, cost of doing business is worse than football, for sure.
Your business manager would tell you to play baseball.
Yeah.
Right.
Your family.
Yeah.
Are you guys going to let your kids play football?
I asked you this before and you said no.
Yeah, no.
No?
Dude, I respect that.
I mean, yeah, I don't know.
Like, he could play flag.
What if they want to do MMA?
No, dude.
I don't know.
I mean, I'm not going to like, it would be, I don't know.
It's hard to say now if I could like put my foot down and be like, no, son, you're not doing this thing you really want to do.
If it's something that he's like dying to do, it's like, it would be hard to say no.
If he's built like my golf.
Yeah.
If he's like, this is like, I love this more than anything.
You're going to take this from me. Jesus. Yeah. Then it would be kind of I love this more than anything. You're gonna take this from me Jesus
Yeah, then it would be kind of time son is dramatic. Yeah
I don't know how he's gonna be makes a compelling case. Yeah, what about you?
Well, yeah, see I didn't even start the second guess until you
Said no, we started talking with us a while back. But yeah, I'd let my kid play football
Yeah, I got fucked up playing football and I saw people got hurt way worse than me too said no we started talking about this a while back but yeah i'd let my kid play football yeah
i got fucked up playing football and i saw people got hurt way worse than me too
and like probably still have problems but still like yeah i mean like christian is not
normal right he played football all through high school right i didn't and you can tell
there's a clear difference people always say that yeah yeah. Yeah. What are the differences?
Just loopy?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Do you ever think some... No, I don't want to say that.
I don't know.
I was going to say if some people like, they're like, it's my CTE.
And then it's like, is it really though?
Or were you always this way?
For sure, I have a CTE.
Yeah.
I've gotten so many concussions.
When I turn 60, I'm not going to remember any.
I've had so many concussions.
I talked to a doctor and he said, I've had three serious ones. And he says turn 60, I'm not going to remember any. I've had so many concussions. I talked to a doctor, and he said, I've had three serious ones.
And he says, I never played sports either, just rough living.
Just rough living.
But he says I'm at the edge.
Basically, you can't have more than three.
If you're at three, you're okay.
That's the cut three?
Yeah.
You have to start worrying?
Yeah, that's what he told me.
I feel a little irresponsible putting that out there,
but this is what a genuine doctor told me. What most people get when they're like you need to stop
playing football like how many concussions yeah dude i don't know but i remember bill
romanowski's uh biography or autobiography on the back he wrote like uh championships like three
concussions 27 and then in parentheses it said estimated. And then underneath that it said heart endless. Oh, my God.
Dude, I mean, I see those hits.
When you see, like, a helmet-to-helmet hit, I'm just like, it makes me feel like, damn, that might have been permanent.
Right.
Like, I just always think, like, that dude gets rocked.
And he's on the ground.
And he's, like, can't even see straight.
And he's thinking, like, I might have just, like, chipped chipped away at like a long-term thing like
there's no getting back that like yeah yeah that was concussion four you know yeah i'm on concussion
four now that could have fucked it all up no it's a lot to think about when you're out there playing
it's a fun way to watch football right it makes a lot you play cTE bingo? Yeah. Oh, shit.
So were you guys always trying to work in the artistic field
and do writing and directing and acting and stuff,
or did that come while you guys were at college?
Go ahead.
I mean, I don't know.
I've always just enjoyed making stuff,
and then in high school I enjoyed making stuff. And then in high school, I started making stupid...
I mean, I guess it started for me with skate videos.
That was the first video kind of stuff I would make.
I was like eight, nine.
I got a video camera and I would just make little skate videos.
A lot of them actually made it into American Vandal, which was pretty funny.
That was funny because the director was like you guys you have any uh videos of yourself as a kid
like skating or acting like an idiot and i was like oh dude you look at you're the right guy
um but yeah i mean i always kind of did that and then like a lot of like dumb weird sketches in
high school just kind of inspired by saturday night live and
that kind of that was like my i was like the only thing i really watched um and then it kind of just
progressed you know once we got into college and stuff yeah yeah i was kind of the same way i grew
up making i used to take my dad's video camera and make like jackass videos or try to make jackass
videos yeah and then show them to my class and then like every now and then they would be like I used to take my dad's video camera and make jackass videos or try to make jackass videos.
And then show them to my class.
And then every now and then they would get a good laugh.
But every now and then someone would get hurt.
We'd get in trouble.
So that's how I got started.
And then high school, yeah, sketches every now and then.
And then college, met this guy.
It's funny.
You think about the jackass videos.
It's like at the beginning of jackass, it says, please don't try any of this.
Yeah. You're like, fuck, yeah, we're doing this.
And how many kids do you know that tried to replicate everything they saw in Jackass?
All of them.
And I wonder how many of them got, like, seriously hurt.
Oh, a lot.
Yeah.
Because I didn't get seriously hurt, but, like, you know, we took a few nut shots.
Yeah.
Like, there was some, you know, head damage few nut shots yeah there was some you know head
damage i had a friend rupture his sack oh shit yeah he was trying to do some handle something
with his bike and his bike had like a loose piece of metal and it just nipped his sack sixth grade
on the ir yeah he didn't i ruptured sack yeah he couldn't go to home this is why i'm afraid to have
kids i think about like all the dangerous stuff i did that I barely escaped by the skin of my teeth.
And I'm like, dude, I don't want some son of mine coming home and be like, dad, I blew my nuts out.
My nuts will never be the same.
And I have to process that and guide him through it.
And help him.
Yeah.
Ice his sack for him.
Yeah, ice his sack for him while he's crying.
Tell him it's all right.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
But I guess you grow.
You learn how to handle that stuff.
Right.
I'm just happy I'm not,
I mean, I'm just happy
we're past the age
where we have to worry about
getting hit in the nuts.
For real.
You feel like you're past it?
That's a real thing.
That seems cocky to me.
I feel like you could still
be in that range.
No, that was a legitimate fear
for a long time.
What's up, dude?
Oh, dude, I I dodie tap you?
I'm still deep in it.
Every time I see my brothers, just sack tap all day.
How old are your brothers?
My oldest brother's like 40.
He loves it.
He initiates.
I'm like, dude, you have two kids.
A tap is cool.
We used to be ruthless, though.
I used to get hit and hit.
Dude, it was hard.
It was like punches to the balls. though. I used to get hit and hit dudes hard.
It was like punches to the balls. Oh, I never got punched.
It's like my least favorite part of male camaraderie is the nut injuring.
I kind of enjoy it, I'm going to be honest.
You're a beast.
I don't know how you do it.
Yeah, you like smile through it.
I got good nuts, dude.
Yeah.
No, my brother one time, we talked about this on the last pod.
We were sack tapping i
was like in like second grade tapping some sack three bros intergalactic crotch wars and uh
and i just like jack hammered him like i was in like second grade and i just like full on like
double fist and and he was he was crying for like two hours so oh my god i think we took it a little
far but hit him with the Thor.
Oh, dude, with the Thor.
Yeah.
I hit like a point that it was like, this isn't fun anymore.
I was like leaning.
I was at like my friend Tommy's like eighth grade graduation party.
And I was like leaning against the couch.
I was like sitting on the couch with my legs up, like so vulnerable.
And this dude, Hector, my friend, just like straight punched me in the dick.
And like I had nowhere to back up to.
It was like I was pinned against the back of the couch.
And it just like,
I was straight up icing my balls
at that eighth grade function
for like the entirety of the party.
And I was like, I don't like this.
This isn't fun.
Yeah, I'm not down.
No.
No. It's no good. Where did I'm not down. No. No.
It's no good.
Where'd you go again?
Santa Clara.
Santa Clara.
I thought you were going to say Chico for sure.
Oh, dude, yeah.
I remember growing up hearing about that.
Yeah.
You should just say Chico.
I wanted to, but my parents won't let me.
Dude, it's dangerous.
All the people I know who went to Chico
came back injured, right?
They all have like,
they like walk with limps now and stuff. Yeah, real shit.ps now yeah like a like a half semester yeah they had a good time and then they came back in tatters
i was like not i'm not a good place to go no no disrespect to the chico to the cheek
so when you guys your guys's stuff blew up when you guys were in college right
yeah so were you how long did you stay in college after that happened?
Well, he graduated.
Oh, okay.
I did not.
I left.
I mean, I was like, I took leave.
Once everything started working out,
I was like, I just couldn't apply myself to school anymore.
Yeah.
And so I took leave sophomore year and then like i came back for
junior year but like my head was never really in it like once the first video blew up like my head
was just never in school did your profile like change on campus like was everyone like oh dude
you're the dude and like yeah that must have been wild it was wild i enjoyed it for like maybe
10 minutes and then and i was like, okay, this sucks.
And it was funny, like junior year,
I pretty much didn't go to school at all.
Like I was just living there, but not attending school.
Cause like Christian lived there.
And like, that was where all the ideas were.
Like it was like the college themed video so it's like
i might as well stay here right just so you have something to pull from yeah um yeah but the weird
thing was like you know all it takes you know it's that's a great situation it sounds great like you
know i didn't have to wake up at any specific time it was just like you know all right with
christian when he's not in class and then i can edit and do everything else like whenever i want right which sounds great and then all it
takes is like one kid on campus being like yo what are you even doing here and then you're like damn
what do you what am i doing here like he knew you weren't like
well like i mean like people would know people like would i mean, like, people would know. People, like, would, I mean, people thought when I made the first frat video when I was a freshman, people thought I was, like, a senior.
So, like, two years later, they're like, dude, what are you still doing here?
Right.
And I'm like, well, I mean, I'm supposed to be here.
Right.
But.
But the way people would initially perceive you is that you were, like, Sunday.
You were on campus.
Right, right.
Yeah, I mean, like, and I would still be on campus.
Like, all my friends were at school.
Like, I'd be on campus eating and shit.
And people would, like, be like,
Tatro, like, what are you fucking doing here, bro?
I thought you dropped out.
And I'd be like, well, I did.
They'd be like, well, why are you here?
Right.
It was a lot of, like, I don't know.
A lot of frat bros just would, they just don't really know how to.
I mean, I'm sure you guys have, like, some of those fans that are, like, really aggressive, like, think you're going to respond to aggression.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you're right.
It does just take one to, like, put you in a bad mood.
Right.
Fuck, dude.
Yeah.
I mean, it's just the weirdest interactions.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Was it because they, like, were such, like, high status dudes ordinarily that they didn't know how to just tell you that they appreciated your stuff?
Well, it was like they didn't want to tell me they appreciated it.
They just, like, I don't even know what they were going for.
But, like, they just wanted to say something.
But they didn't want me to think that they liked me.
Right.
So it would just be like, yo, don't you fucking do YouTube videos or whatever?
Right. Yeah. And you're like like you're a subscriber yeah meanwhile those dudes are going around like
i know that guy yeah yeah we kick it yeah yeah well vibe wise i'm feeling pretty good right now
how you guys feeling i'm solid green juice yeah yeah i'll take my second green juice and just
shit myself dude that ginger's gonna it's good yeah shout out
JT for the for the green juices clergy ginger these are not cheap there's
there's kale in there it's pretty expensive it's so yo when did kill become
a thing seriously ten years like a few years ago, right? Ten years ago? I think four. Never even heard of it.
No, four.
No, I think more than four.
I think like college is when they got big.
What, did it not exist before that?
I heard about it in college.
No, it got founded.
They found that new element.
Right.
And that was kale sprung from that.
Nice.
Yeah.
I still wonder why it became so cool.
So are you guys dating right now?
Yeah. Are you single or are you spoken for?
No, I wouldn't say I'm single, no.
All right.
Yeah.
What about you?
Yeah, I wouldn't say I'm single either.
Man, it's hard out here.
It's tough, dude.
Yeah.
What's hard about it?
Oh, man.
Well, just dating in general yeah or whatever
i think i think what's hard about dating at this age for people like us probably is that you and i
you guys are probably the same way if you're like ambitious and there's a lot you want to do
it's hard to prioritize a relationship the way a lot of other people are prioritizing relationships
and giving it the time and energy that other people are giving it
when that's on their top three list of priorities.
So when you're significant others looking around
and seeing people get as much attention as another person is giving to their job
or their family, they want that too.
I haven't been able to provide that consistently.
Yeah.
I will say my perspective has shifted a little okay in the last
year let me hear that i for a while i was very like anti anything i don't want any you know
any attachments any expectations and then like i just kind of hit a point where like i don't
really care about going out that much as much as I used to.
Like, it just kind of got, like, I was like, okay, like, it's the same shit.
Kind of did it all.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, I could go to the clubs.
It would be the same fucking thing as it is next week or the next week or last week or last year.
And then once I, like, stopped caring about going out, I was like, it's kind of nice to have someone that you're not out.
I don't care to be out trying to meet new chicks all the time.
Yeah.
And I also don't trust those people who I'm meeting out.
I don't trust their intentions.
So I don't know.
Where I'm at right now is you find someone someone that's like cool and likes you for you
it's worth it yeah yeah just vibing out right now i feel that i know what you mean about wise
when you go out to clubs too like sometimes like if i'm like working through stuff sometimes i'll
like go out to like figure stuff out which is such like have you ever been like at a club and
you're like drinking like i'm gonna get to like the bottom of what i'm feeling right now
it's kind of a bottom it's kind of a weird environment to be doing that in but like
i've been at clubs and you just do it after a while and you're like when you hit that wall
where you're like oh i'm not really getting anything out of this anymore but you're in this
place that's like going off and everyone's like fucking raging and you're just looking around
you're like i don't even know who i am right now like i don't even know what i'm doing here it's
a weird thing because you've had some existential crises yeah this was lately this is like a week like every day like every day
who am i yeah no but i feel that there there is something about after after college though yeah
going because in college when you're going out it's like i think because it's so new you're like
creating memories or whatever it's like feels so good and then like now it's just kind of the
same shit or it's like i don't know yeah you wake up the next day
and you're like yeah I didn't really get anything out of that yeah like front
like Friday Saturdays the problem I have with like Friday nights and Saturday
nights right now is like I don't like creating an expectation for like you
know Fridays here like we better fucking send it like I would much rather like
some spontaneous
wednesday where it's like you go to this thing that i just heard about and go there and then
that turns into something but like i don't like creating like a weekend expectation where it's
like we got to live up to this yeah i feel like that's where things get repetitive and like
i mean at least lately like that's just like personally where i'm at and the
people you go out with are like stressed out in those situations like they're like are we having
enough fun like should we go somewhere else and you're like i wish everyone could just chill
right yeah i started having that moment where you're looking around the club and you're like
okay like it started happening like really really fast and i was like okay like it's this i'd get to the club i'd be like all right cool cool okay all right that's
the wrap all right you guys uh ready to hit it but you know what though like i hang around dudes who
right i'm the same way lately but there's a lot of people i know who in those situations are trying
to find somebody right and they're like it's not so much about trying to have the most fun it's
like i gotta find somebody at first it was like i want to find somebody just to go home with
and now i feel like there's dudes out here looking for like their girl yeah club in the bar stressed
and they're stressing you know they're like looking around they're like no girls here i'm
like yeah i'm like yeah totally fine going home i don't feel like they feel like they took l's at
home yeah man dude i know that feeling yeah shit i was with my boy after we were in miami a couple
weeks ago we're out at the like getting like an arepa outside the club at like arepa it's like a
south american like a kind of flour okay tortilla thing it's good it's fucking good um and uh we
were both like we just both felt like nerds because we didn't talk to any chicks and i thought it was
stuff we had gotten past when we were younger but But I was like, no, it's recurring.
Like, it's coming back now.
And I just had to, like, accept myself and be like, dude, you're as good as you are right now.
You are.
Yeah.
No, you're worth it.
It's also hard talking to girls in L.A.
Girls in L.A. have a high standard.
They are not easy to approach.
It's tough.
It's tough talking to them.
They're quick to call a guy a creep out here.
Dude, for sure.
You gotta be careful.
Yeah.
That's scary.
Yeah, we get a lot of people writing in about that.
What? Girls thinking guys are creeps? Or no, just how to approach too you know what i mean my theory is
that la is such a personal space oriented city you're in your car all the time yeah you're by
yourself all the time everyone has their space events on their phone wherever they go whereas
like in a city like new york boston chicago any other city with public transportation you're around
other humans all the time yeah when we go to a bar here it's like you're singing people for the you know girls act like whoa
that's an alien when you walk up to them yeah they already have this guard up but yeah girls
out here weird man yeah and they're all models so yeah so we all gotta get on scooters that's
right so we can bond i had razor scooters in sherman oaks they don't have birds they have
razors razors electric razors? Electric razors.
How do they regulate it?
The same way they regulate a bird.
With a barcode?
Yeah.
But like you just pedal them?
Yeah.
No, no.
It's electric.
It's like a bird, but it's a razor's version of bird.
Oh.
Yeah.
Razor's coming back.
They're red and white.
They're dope.
Good.
Dude, there was a bird sitting in the middle.
Someone had just left one like purposely in the middle of my street.
Well, there's an Instagram account.
Bird graveyard.
Yeah, bird graveyard, where it's, like, just sadists on there.
Yeah.
Bleep that out.
Don't give them any love on this.
That's true.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why do they care so much?
I don't know.
They're like, they're destroying the city.
Let's throw them in the ocean.
And you're like, all right.
Yeah.
It's got to be an old people thing.
Totally, yeah.
Like, let's keep our streets clean
you think old people are picking up birds
no I'm saying old people are the ones that are pissed about the birds
oh okay and they're telling their grandkids
yeah
goddamn bird scooters
my neighbor
who's my uber driver
like every time I call an uber select
I get the same guy
he literally lives like 8, eight houses down.
And this guy fucking hates birds.
Like, every time I'm like, yo, Murray, what's good with you and birds, man?
He's always like, dude, earlier today.
He always has a story that happened, like, within the last 12 hours.
Like, he has beef with birds.
Some people are, like, really against them yeah i hear where
they're coming from some of the people but at the same time it's like look change is gonna happen so
just get used to it yeah and like look at the streets in other countries like other countries
have like scooters and like cars parked on the sidewalks just because like california or america
in general like the streets are generally like there's nothing on there and all of a sudden now we have like a
personal space see now we want you in the grill in LA have you guys traveled
together yeah so much yeah we've been to some places yeah where what countries
we're talking about we've been we did a travel show like a year and a half ago
yeah we went to a bunch of places took took us to like mongolia yeah how was that the capital city is hard to have fun in but when once you get out to like
what makes it hard when you get out to the middle like six hour drive into nothingness mongolia or
three hour flight then a six hour drive into more nothingness on the border of Russia, Mongolia. Then it's cool.
There's cows.
We stayed with an eagle hunter in Yurts.
It was pretty sick.
It was a cool experience.
Should have brought more drugs, but it was cool.
Yeah.
We ate a lot of goat.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I smelled some goat or something that smelled like that recently.
I almost threw up.
It just brings it all back.
Did you guys really bring drugs?
I don't know how to drugs? Oh, actually.
Dude, this guy.
I've flown with like shrooms before.
I just went to Japan and had a good amount of shit.
Paul McCartney got caught bringing stuff into Japan.
What are you going to say to Paul McCartney, though?
Why is he flying private also?
Yeah, it's dangerous.
Well, Christian gets pulled aside.
We're coming through mongolian customs and christian gets pulled aside and i knew that he brought like edibles and stuff i didn't know the extent that's better yeah he gets pulled into
some room and like we're waiting for him and like the director of the show and like the producer
are like waiting with me and they're like like what's
going on like what's what's happening why is he in this room and i'm sitting there like i mean
i don't know maybe maybe he had like weed or something i don't know i mean like they were
they were our boys yeah but then they're like freaking out like oh no it's weed and then i guess like yeah so what
happened was they check your bags once you get off the plane in mongolia which was weird
and i had like on the flight like moves moved these like marijuana mints to like my backpack
because i wanted to eat them on the plane go to sleep and wasn't ready for this marijuana
mints you know you know marijuana mints i wasn't ready for this second search so they see they see the leaf on there when it goes
to the x-ray they pull it out and see in my backpack all i had was the marijuana mints in my
bag though i had a lot of edibles and i had a couple wax pens and cartridges and i was ready to
go and uh it's like oh what is this like we leave a point
to it i don't speak english you're pointing at weekly like what is this what is this i'm like oh
medicine like sleeping medicine sleep medicine they're like they kind of buy it for a second
they're like no no no no what is this what is this what is this i'm like yeah you know sleep
medicine like not you come with us right that's probably when you guys saw me go into this sort
of like room they call the supervisors which was concerning yeah were you nervous i was a little nervous right so they called two supervisors over i would assume these
are supervisors they see it they look at like yeah that's that's the symbol right what is this
what is this same thing medicine sleep you know sleep like kind of suspicious right like all right
come to this smaller room so i go to this smaller room and there's another dude in there right this
american dude and they have his suitcase like open but like they haven't looked through it yet, right?
And he looks a little more scared than me.
I'm like, oh shit, this is like that room.
This is that back room on like all the movies
where they just strip search you, right?
Yeah.
So something's going on with him.
Someone's going on with me.
They're like talking in Mongolian.
They're talking about it.
And they grab the mints again
and they're like, they pull them out.
They start opening them, like looking for something.
Nothing's there, nothing's there.
And they ask him again again what is this what is
this same thing sleep medicine medicine so looking at me look at the other guy
looking at me and they're like alright like get out of here pack your things up
right so pack my things up I hurry out real quick as I'm walking out of this
little interrogation room two more officers are coming in with two dogs I'm
like oh shit I just walked right past them if i would have stayed
in there it would have been a wrap because i had a lot of stuff in my bag but that dude who was in
there he was fucked i don't know what happened to him he's not coming back to mongolia yeah yeah
yeah i don't think those those dogs i don't they don't smell weed the dogs they don't no
what in my experience because i've walked by the dogs with like where are you talking about because
they might have been bomb dogs yeah that's what i'm thinking i was i think it was like such a
weird place it was no i was like at the airport i think these were drug dogs these were drug dogs
yeah well i walked by i was at coachella and i had like a bunch of joints on me and like you know
joints on me and uh and like we were walking by these dogs and we were like the
artist entrance so we're thinking we're good you know i have them like i have these boxers a little
zipper put them in the zipper that's a great compartment yeah it's a great compartment
and there's these two dogs just standing there and i'm like i like see him and i like turn around
and i'm like dude there's dogs right there it's like dude and I turn around and I'm like, dude, there's dogs right there. It's like, dude, they gotta be bomb dogs.
I'm like, so what? I'm supposed to just
go with that?
Hope for the best? He's like, I don't see another option, man.
So I just walked right by
the dogs and they were bomb dogs.
Oh, okay.
I thought you were going to say something else.
No.
I was at the airport one time and I did the one where they scan you like this
and I just had the edible in my hand.
Wow.
That's a good move.
But I came through, and the guy goes, hey, there's something in your hand.
Oh, really?
And I open it up, and he looks at it.
He's like, what is that?
I go, it's a weed.
And then he just went, go ahead.
No way.
That's where it'd be great if you just opened your hand, and there was nothing.
And he's like, what?
And you just pull it out.
Put it behind his ear.
It's an edible.
Yeah, just eat it real fast
that's what I should have done
the trick is
if you want to bring edibles
you put them in a bag
full of regular candy
right
oh that's just his snack bag
yeah
what's your guys'
favorite thing to do
when you get high
oh is this recording
what's your guys'
favorite thing to do
when you get high
now it's regular shit
just whatever
I was already doing
go to the grocery store
or something
can't do that actually because you're too hungry I'm's just whatever I was already doing. Go to the grocery store or something. Can't do that, actually.
Because you're too hungry?
I'm too just, yeah, I'll buy everything that I don't need.
So many cereals that I'm never going to eat.
Yeah.
I'm ambitious.
That's like the only time I actually go grocery shopping is if I'm high and I go there for
something specific.
And then I'm like, well, I could get some turkey.
Right.
And some cheese. Baby wipes. Yeah. I'm like, i could get some turkey right and some cheese baby wipes yeah i'm
like why you have baby wipes and then i come home with like a full cart of shit i'm like
why did i just what am i doing i'm actually a big i like i like playing video games i was
gonna say i'm excited to get red dead because that's gonna be my next thing but spider-man
was my thing for the past like red dead looks so fun. It looks so dope.
It's just so realistic.
I love those games where it's like a whole universe,
so you don't have to stay on a mission.
You can just fish or whatever.
Apparently, you can just hunt.
Yeah, I was just petting a dog.
I was bonding with my horse.
Oh, you were playing it?
Yeah.
My roommate is a big gamer, so he got me into this.
I blame him.
The new Super Smash Bros. just came out.
That's a pretty heated thing in my house right now.
Yeah.
Who's your roomie?
My roommate, his name's...
Oh, he's not.
You wouldn't know him.
Sure, sure.
But how'd you guys get...
His name's Ninja.
Ninja?
For real?
I mean, I haven't...
No, his name's Felipe.
You guys been boys forever?
Nah.
Okay. What about you?
What do you do when you get keyed?
Man, dude, I do too much stuff
Like, I'm like, you know, just like
Trying to get active?
Doing a bunch of our stuff
Yeah, I just like go to the gym
I mean, it's super fun to work out
Definitely, I agree
Yeah, yeah
I like to go to movies by myself
Sit in the very back of the theater
That's where you go
Yeah, and I like to go to like kind of empty ones And just, because I can write myself That's where you go. Yeah, and I like to go to kind of empty ones because I can write myself notes then when
it's happening and stuff, and I can move around the theater a little bit.
And it's a fun, a little more immersive experience than normally seeing the movie.
That's cool.
I respect that.
That's really cool.
I've never seen a movie solo.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, it's like my favorite thing.
Really?
Yeah, because I worry about the other person.
When I see it with other people, I get easily distracted.
Really?
Yeah, but when I'm by myself, I can just lock in a little bit more.
Yeah, I like to just make my own throne.
Yeah.
You know what?
I'm going to be at the top of my list right now.
Actually, but it's the opposite kind.
Getting high and going to the movies with people, I love that.
If everyone's getting faded together in the parking lot.
That is fun.
We're going together.
We're going to see Grindelwald.
Did you guys see Grindelwald?
Did you guys do that?
Have you been to a movie solo?
I did once.
I was a kid, and it was just because I wanted to see something different than my family was seeing.
They were seeing, like, snow dogs.
I was like, I want to see snow dogs.
What did you see?
I think I saw...
Four months, three weeks, and two days.
It was a PG-13 movie.
I remember that.
It was, like, a big deal.
Risk.
Because I wasn't 13.
I'm curious about this.
What's your guys', like' dream project to do together?
Jesus.
I don't know.
I don't know either.
That's tough.
You have to look at the notes.
Yeah.
I don't know.
There's a long list of sketches we have that I don't know how many will ever get done.
Yeah. I mean, honestly, Real Bros is pretty this is pretty that's it pretty dope i don't know middle school would
have been great middle school that would have been fun yeah we basically like the concept of big mouth
like we were doing that but like playing the kids oh and, and live action. Yeah. So we were playing like,
dude,
that's so fun.
10 year old.
It was called like,
first one called sixth grade sleepovers.
And it was just us.
Oh,
I watched that.
It was great.
Yeah.
I was talking about like all the weird shit that we used to do when we were kids.
Right.
Yeah.
And then we pitched a show based on that.
Um,
and it was actually really fucking funny.
We wrote the first two episodes and they were so fucking funny
and then I don't really
you know
we just pitched it
to some places
definitely didn't help
that Big Mouth came out
no
it's definitely
a better thing to do
animated
I still
don't
think
I like that idea
I just do more
and you don't have to
worry about
cause like we were gonna have like half us do more and you don't have to worry about because like we were gonna have
like half us like adults and half kids and just never address that some of them look like they're
30 and some of them look like they're 11 right like it was just gonna be like we're all sixth
graders um which would have been funny visually but then there's also that like line you'd have
to dance on where it's like if you know you're dating a like you have a crush on a girl like you got to make sure that doesn't
look weird i like right i like the fifth grade one the recess yeah yeah yeah recess i thought
that was especially with the girl the girls sort of look like the same age kind of right yeah
exactly yeah but then you see all the kids on the yard. Yeah, all the kids in the yard.
The uniforms, too, that got me.
That would have been cool.
Yeah, like we had an episode.
I don't even know if we should say episode.
I still just want to.
Yeah, it's going to happen. I was just thinking about this.
That pilot is fucking hilarious.
I like the second episode.
Second episode is also, yeah, second episode is crazy.
Second episode is like I used to print out when I was like actually a little kid i used to actually like print out i used to put like pictures of boobs
on one word document so did i low-key and then print them out so that i could save them for later
right which is so fucking weird but i would do that and then so in the second episode of this
show it would be like my character.
Someone finds out about it at school and he starts selling them.
And it turns into this whole like...
Like a drug ring operation.
Like a drug operation.
It's like blow, but with like tit pics.
Yeah, his locker's filled with like fruit roll-ups
and gushers and he's like balling out.
And the principal's on to him.
What about you guys?
What's your guys' dream project?
Our dream?
It's a tough clash, yeah.
Yeah, I think we're working on one right now.
We haven't actually told the Stokers, but we have like a...
I don't want you guys to prematurely announce anything.
I'd love to do like a Mr. Rogers show where I like interview kids.
What'd you say about blowing?
You said prematurely what?
Prematurely...
Sorry, go on.
No, you guys blowing what? What? Stokers? Loads for the Stokersly what? Prematurely. Sorry, go on. No, you guys blowing what?
What?
Stokers?
Loads for the Stokers, what?
Oh, dude.
How long did you guys have the idea for Real Bros before it came to fruition?
It happened pretty quick.
Yeah, it wasn't one of those ones like,
there's been some ideas that like
we sat on for like two years and then finally did this was like it happened like not like super
quick but we always joked about like how the cities on real housewives were getting so random
yeah like there's like real housewives potomac potomatic yeah that was so funny like
all these they did that yeah that's hilarious it's like one of the popular ones now yeah and like
we were like we gotta make i mean we've always like made fun of reality shows and like thought
it was ridiculous and uh we also grew up around a lot of the same bros yeah so then it was like
we should do a spoof of this but like we're not gonna write a housewife show like you know yeah what should we do a show about bros from where valley bros they gotta be valley bros
we grew up i mean we both went to high school with so many of these like
white transformer oakley looking yeah you know hats down to their eyes like just like tank top yeah huge traps yeah try to be cholos on
motocross bikes basically yeah yeah do you think that's the deepest bro the simi valley bro well
it came down to three cities i always say this just to let people know that it's nothing personal
to see me it came down to santa clarita valencia andi Valley. And Simi Valley just has the nicest ring to it.
Santa Clarita also has a nice flow.
It'll come up.
Yeah.
There's a season three.
I love the intros of all the bros.
So good.
Duncan's turnaround.
So funny, man.
I love the way you guys do it with like all the music in
between each shot like it's like that um transitions the transition yeah yeah so like um
like just those little details in the show crack me up so much it kind of feels like it could have
been a real mtv show back in the day yeah like if they weren't trying to be funny oh yeah for sure
you know i mean yeah it feels like it could have been a real ass show.
Like a true life.
Like before the hills.
You watch it on the city valley, bro.
You watch it on the city valley, yeah.
Life of Ryan.
Yeah.
Life of Ryan.
Yeah, MTV had super compelling shows.
Was that Ryan Sheckler's thing?
Yeah.
I just liked that because he had the dopest Range Rover.
I was like, I don't get one of those as a kid.
I just remember hearing about that because all the girls all of a sudden knew who Ryan Sheckler was.
Right.
I'm like,
how do you guys know
who Ryan Sheckler was?
You guys don't skate?
Yeah.
Because he's so hot.
He's on Life of Ryan.
He's so sensitive.
He cries.
He cried?
I felt bad for him.
I was like,
dude,
they're boning him in the edit.
Every episode,
he'd have so many bitch moments.
I was like,
damn, dude.
You got to get in that room.
I was wondering
reality shows like so much of the show is them talking shit about other people in the show yeah
it's like do you guys not like they gotta watch the show yeah so it's like no one has any secrets
everything is just out there and no one ever clocks the camera like if i was about to talk
shit on someone i'd be like yo like brooks is a fucking and then no one ever clocks the camera. Like, if I was about to talk shit on someone, I'd be like, yo, like, Brooks is a fucking...
And then I'd look at the camera and be like, nah, never mind, I'm good.
And just let it slide.
Well, at the end of, like, all the real worlds and stuff, they'd have, like, the reunion.
And, like, I feel like it'd be, like, everyone saw everything then.
So it'd just be, like, they'd all be like, yeah, that was fucked up.
Yeah.
We wanted to do, like, a...
After the bros. after the bros after
the bros oh nice recap still would be a cool thing to do yeah you got to get andy what's the guy's
name from bravo andy cohen yeah dude moderate it yeah andy cohen making like a fucking springer
event just fight andy cohen's name came up at the holidays when like the moms were talking about who they have crushes on
who's Andy Cohen
he's like a
he's like the Bravo guy
yeah
yeah he like hosts
like a lot of their shows
like three of the moms
said Andy Cohen
I was like really
he's a good looking dude
yeah
I guess so
I heard Anderson Cooper
and him almost got together
really
yeah
interesting
they're a good power couple
Anderson Cooper's the man
yeah
he's a cool dude
he comes from like a huge family his mom Yeah. He's a cool dude. He comes from a huge family.
Oh, he's a Vanderbilt.
Yeah, right.
So nuts.
There's a university named after him.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Never made that connection.
This is kind of a weird question, but a lot of this, what we talk about here is, I guess,
we try to inspire ourselves.
How do you guys get inspired or what motivates you?
I get inspired randomly.
I feel like the best ideas just kind of come to you.
You see something or say something or hear something that kind of like
strikes up a train of thought.
And then that just leads you down this like mental path.
And you just got to,
I think the way,
like you just got to embrace that when it happens and whether it's just like
writing it down in your notepad or just like making a conscious effort to like remember
what you're thinking about like it's hard for me to like sit down and like think of new ideas like
unless you know like i feel like all the ideas for like sketches or anything like it's something
yeah it's like when you're out there living it's like something inspires it that's like actually like all my ideas are inspired by like real events you know it's not like i'm just
thinking like well what if i mean i mean i guess but i feel like the initial idea is always from
something that is somewhat real it's just funny when like you think of like you think of one thing
and then you think of another thing and then another thing
and then you say the eighth thing out loud randomly
and everyone's just like, what?
And you're like, oh, sorry,
I was just halfway through a sketch in my head.
They don't see all the connections I got.
No, don't do that.
Like, what?
Oh, did I say that out loud?
Dude, I actually do that all the time.
That's beautiful.
I'll be like driving, just like talking like talking they're like what are you saying i'm just reading the signs um what inspires me artistically it's very similar to jimmy it's living uh yeah
but just like to do things and like you know try to be the best version of me probably looking at people who
have a lot of regret like i feel like i know a lot of people who are like older like we're like done
with like their ambitious portion of life who are just like full of regret i think all the things
they could have done which sounds like a dark thing to think about but i'm just like trying
to do the opposite of that i'm just trying to be like oh man like you know you're so upset you had all these years and you didn't spend them the way like you probably
should have so i'm gonna try to do the opposite i'm gonna try to spend them exactly how i want
yeah the future me to look back and be like yeah i'm glad i did that that's cool yeah i heard some
someone talk about how there's like a yogi who would talk about he's like i try to live every
day like there's a katana it's like hanging above my head like about to drop yeah it's smart yeah
damocles sword yeah yeah yeah i mean it's pretty dark it can it sounds like pretty dark to think
about like what if i died tomorrow right yeah but also what if you did die tomorrow yeah i always
think i'm having an aneurysm or something. That's why you bring acid onto planes to Japan.
Yeah, it can motivate both the greatest things and the random shit.
Direct translation.
I don't know, man.
Katana, Japan.
Dude, that's where it's going to happen.
Paul McCartney.
I heard you say that.
Should we get into the questions?
Yeah, yeah.
Let's do it.
All right.
This one's from Nicholas.
What's up, dudes? I've got a situation I'm not real. Let's do it. All right. This one's from Nicholas. What's up, dudes?
I've got a situation I'm not real sure what to do about.
There's this chick I'm pretty good friends with from college,
and I'm not sure if I should try to take it to the next level or not.
We hooked up a few times in college, but that was a few years back,
and now we both live in the same city.
We've never been out of contact with each other,
but have been hanging out more since we've left college.
I think I like this girl,
and she seems to be the best choice of my potential suitors.
I'm not good at reading body language
and can't tell if I should make a move or not,
or on her, or no, if I should even.
Would really appreciate some advice.
Nick, P.S., fuck Puzio.
Puzio's a kid I fought in high school.
Oh, wow, did you win?
Wow, you all right?
I did win, but then the spin doctors got control of it the next day,
and they said, because I walked away away that he actually won the fight.
Who?
The spin doctors, like the people who controlled the narrative at my high school.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Were they DJs?
Yeah.
No.
Okay.
Wait, so this guy used to hook up with the girl?
Okay, yeah, sorry, back to the question.
No, I don't think he's ever hooked up with her.
You said he hooked up a couple times, yeah.
Oh, they did?
Okay, cool.
A few years back, and now they both live in the same city. That's one of the weirder ones, because it's always weird when you used to hook up with her. You said you hooked up a couple times. Oh, they did? Okay, cool. It was a few years back, and now they both live in the same city.
That's one of the weirder ones, because it's always weird when you used to hook up with a girl,
and then a long period of time passes.
Especially when you're in an environment like college, which is not the real world at all.
Yeah, and then now you're back, and you're like, wait, I like her.
That's weird.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Man, I got the same question, dude.
I feel like if you're not confident just
making that move then you should just tell her how you feel and just keep it real you know yo
it's been weird since college girl but i like you right do you like me i love it cut to the quick
yeah because like if because if you felt it enough to make a move then do it i'd say do it but if
you're really not sure talk to her yeah and just be real but do it in a cool way though
you look nervous about that advice i know dude i'm just imagining this guy just going for it
and her just you know he's here and she's just oh yeah oh man well do it i'm saying do it somewhere
cool like on a balcony right you know with like a wind blowing yeah
yeah so it hurts extra if it doesn't right so you got a beautiful jump off if she says no yeah
no i think you're right though i think he's got to go for it yeah and then just like but don't
think about it forever like the quicker you can get out of the way the sooner you know if she's
into you or not and you can move on yeah but i like the way you're saying just be direct yeah
yeah open up the lines of communication yeah yeah i agree maybe since you're saying just be direct. Yeah. Yeah. Open up the lines of communication. Yeah.
Yeah.
I agree.
Maybe since you're like out of college, maybe try to make it a little more adult, you know?
Just be like, let's go.
Yeah.
Take her somewhere.
Yeah. Let's go.
I'm going to put on a suit.
You put on a dress.
Let's get like Italian.
I wish I had the balls to do that.
Same.
Did you guys get nervous like before you ask out chicks and stuff?
Depends on what you like her.
I don't know.
It really depends on the situation.
Yeah.
There's some situations that you're just like, you know, you get mixed signals.
You're not confident in it.
And then there's others where it's like, it's very clear.
So I don't know.
It really goes situation by situation.
That was a good one
though all right second question from a danny dude it's very honored to speak with you via email i
hope this finds you well i ran into my old babysitter who i had a major crush on back in the
day like first stiffy and all being a gentleman i said it's very nice to see you becca we should
grab a bite and catch up to which she replied oh yeah want to get fish tacos at ricky's sounds
like it's going well so like she for sure wants to get intimate any tips on what to
wear it's a fish taco night at ricky's i've never been to ricky's but it sounds like a jeans and a
shirt type of place yeah maybe a hawaiian tea yeah dude that's what i was gonna say i like his
confidence too he's like fish tacos we're gonna too. He's like, fish tacos, we're going to bone.
He's like, she for sure wants to get intimate.
She brought up fish tacos, though.
Yeah, right.
This could just be the way we're reading it,
but if she actually fired back with fish tacos that quick,
it's impressive.
I don't have ideas that fast.
Was she craving fish tacos?
Yeah, and most girls don't.
You're like, where do you want to go?
And they're like, wherever.
Yeah, they're a little indecisive about it where to go yeah if you're like hey you should go on a date
with this girl i'd be like well fuck i gotta brainstorm right i gotta google i gotta i gotta
hit up yelp let's go on yelp yeah you know yeah i get too deep into yelp dives i swear i treat it
like instagram i read the reviews under that person's page. I'm like, where else have they eaten?
I've gotten so deep.
But when you're reading those Yelp reviews,
you've got to take into account
if that guy's got an agenda.
Right.
If he sounds mad,
you should be like,
okay, I've got to take this with a grain of salt.
This guy has been having a shitty day already.
We read their other 12 reviews
and they're all nasty. And you're like, this person's like a bitter person right looking for a platform
right you had to tear down some people like this is the worst place i've ever eaten in my life i'm
like really this chipotle this is the worst okay i guess all right we got a chud what's up dudes my
name is chud and i'm a huge fan. Stay lifted, dogs. Thanks for this inspiration, guys, especially you, JT.
I haven't beaten my dick in two whole days.
I'm a porn addict, so they like to talk to me about it.
I'm stoked.
Anyways, I've been crushing on my dog Rob's mom all month.
Any tips on how to say what up to her?
Much love, Chud.
Wait, hold on.
This guy sounds like a character.
Did he brag about not beating his meat to impress you?
Yeah, just to say that he's cognizant of the fact that he's got an issue and he's working to get it better.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's not saying he's holding out for her.
Is two days a long time?
I think they're disconnected thoughts, but I feel like there is some commonality in where these things are coming from.
Yeah.
like there is some commonality and where these things are coming from right yeah because that mom thing is probably from like he's watching too much like brazzers my friend's hot mom
right and i think he needs to watch more uh what year is this 2011
dude that was a good burn sorry um i don't dude i got no advice for how to spit game at a mom oh you don't no i got you
no that's tricky if it's especially if it's your boy just don't that's my advice don't spit at your
boy's mom yeah it depends like are you guys are they boys boys or are they acquaintances if
they're acquaintances and he doesn't really care about their friendship right if one of them's
planning like a like a trip to the snow,
is he inviting the other person?
Or is there five other homies that are getting invited first?
Right.
Because if he's not invited, then maybe hit up the mom.
Yeah, it's like you've got to think about are you willing to sacrifice your friendship
for a 5% chance with that guy's mom?
He might be good looking.
What's his chud?
All right, yeah, 5 five percent is about five percent maybe he could uh maybe he could broach the subject with his boy
be like kind of jokey you know like hey what if i hooked up with your mom and then like see the
response and then like if it's positive would take that as a joke if it's positive get more
serious like for real like
yeah test the waters with some jokes i think that'd be the way to do it i think if you're
trying to hook up with somebody that someone you care about cares about fucking tell them
yeah good yeah policy i also i've been i'm big on like reciprocity and like
i think he's got to tee his boy up with his own mom if he's gonna try and do
that right yeah good call hitch it yeah because that that'll probably be a stop i like chad's
idea though you know like like what if i hooked up with your mom and then he's like dude that'd
be fucking hilarious yeah okay how that's that's the only green light i need he just gets all serious like okay cool
mom's waiting on the wire just listening for the okay yeah he does he's like dude he said it was
cool man what do you mean we're joking i broached the subject on october 23rd at 8 p.m
he said it was cool because he just goes that'd be crazy are you taking a prom your mom we got logan what up
stokers with all the viral videos of people fighting bullying etc on twitter how do you
guys keep a positive mind saw two videos today that made me very sad and mad leaving me in a
terrible funk thanks bros did you guys see the video that dude dancing his way into knocking
somebody out no no mid fightfight, street fight, scrapping
Sorry to digress, we'll come back to this
Mid-street fight, scrapping
This dude does like an Omari on like
Wave and then
Wow
Crazy
See, that's the kind of stuff you need to be watching and not be
Exactly, because I didn't like the fight part, but the dance part I liked
Yeah
So maybe you should watch that
Now, there's a lot of negative stuff on the internet
Yeah, you gotta just stay away from the Instagram explore page.
And if you're starting to see the wrong stuff,
you just got to click those three dots on the top right
and say, see less of stuff like this.
That's a thing?
I did that with, because I would go down these dark dives
where I'd be looking at stupid Instagram comedy
and I'd just be getting more and more pissed off.
You know, just...
Which kind of creators are you talking about?
Name names.
Names?
Yeah, let's get the red meat out there.
No.
But, you know, like, I would just get more and more pissed off.
And I think similarly to this guy,
that's the kind of shit that angers me.
Just, I don't know I just hate
that stuff. I hate people like getting away with
cruelty and then seeing it like
liked by other people really
upsets me. I hate like all the
videos of like
people like filming their kids like
he was bad so I shaved
his head. Right. And now there's all
the fake videos where like he's bad so i shaved his head right now there's all the fake videos where like
he's bad so i'm gonna shave his head no i'm not i love you son like that's a great idea for like
you know those like couples like prank each other on youtube oh we like a father son combo and they
just fake punish you fake my son was bad so i did this with the kids in on it that'd be subscribers
bro that would go over huge
i hate the videos where people give like comp like uh advice like very confidently but i think it's
like not good for some people to hear dude so many like and they're just so yeah just so confident
yeah it's like who are you to give this advice yeah dude i fucked up on here i'll address it
now i told some kid to like drop out of college, and he was in an Ivy League school. I think in an effort to be compelling, I was just not...
Did he drop out of college?
Not being smart or fair.
I don't think you told him full on.
No, I didn't tell him full on.
You suggested it out loud.
Yeah, I was just thinking about it out loud.
And I was like, if you're smart enough to get into a great college, maybe you're smart enough to drop out.
But then all these people messaged me, and they're like, dude, what are you thinking telling them that?
And I was like, that was a little bit irresponsible of me.
Yeah, I mean, you've got to be able to take advice, though, and, like, think, does this
apply to me?
Yeah, it's not gospel.
Yeah.
Like, you can't just, if you're blindly listening to advice, then, like, maybe you shouldn't
be in that ivory school in the first place.
Right.
Yeah.
All right, we got James.
What up, Chad and JT?
Recently divorced at 37. i keep my circle small
so the squad is mostly on lockdown i'm headed to a few spots in mexico for a fuck a couple weeks
excuse me i feel like i'm too old to rage at el squid rose solo should i skip cabo and just go
to tullum and chill love the pod y'all provide much enjoyment lots of love from texas there's no way my guy's 37 going to cabo i think he is
and i think i think if he doesn't have a squad i think the move is to hit tulum
it's much more chill i'm so chill still party pretty hard yeah is there a party scene i've
never been no there's no parties in tulum where's no we went outside of tulum we went to
plato carmen to party and there's a party scene there yeah to be
had but tulum is that he has access to that kind of like santa barbara vibes oh okay it's very chill
um but right outside of tulum there's a party area but like actual tulum is very chill yeah yeah
from what we've seen maybe you should do like both places because i feel like he has that bug
you know where you're like i need to go because i feel like he has that bug you know where
you're like i need to go out i need to like you know hang with my dogs or whatever and he goes
to squid row and he's like all right i have it one night's good and he goes to tulum squid row
is nuts it's you guys have been yeah squid row oh dude i love it so much yeah i don't know could you
what could you go back right now? No.
No.
If you told me to go to Squid Row right now, I'd say to Harden Hill.
Dude, come on.
Us four, we could do it, dude.
We could tear it up.
We would tear it up, but, like, the consequences.
Like, the pain the next day.
Not even, like, the pain.
I just wonder, like, what the fuck.
I don't know.
Just being there?
Like, getting into too much trouble, you think?
Something would happen, guys.
I'm telling you right now.
I was there at the biker gang.
The Mongols was there one time when I was there.
Yeah, and, like, you'd go into the bathroom,
and they'd, like, tell you to stay,
because, like, they had, like, their lower-level guys
were protecting the big-level guys while they, like, took dumps.
Damn.
And then after they were done, they'd be like,
you can go, and I was like, thank you so much, sir.
And then, like, the girls had jackets that said, like,
property of, like, tug or something like that on my god that's the worst that's for sure the
worst one in the crew tug yeah i remember i was there and uh i was in a stall opening a bag um
security opening a bag uh security kicks open the door and I'm just sitting on the stalls like what up they escort me out and I passed my friend who gave to me he's like keep
it walk you do them I didn't get arrested though they just kicked me out
which is nice when I was in you do similar to that
mongol stone I was in Japan last I saw I saw a dude getting punked by a Yakuza
member oh and it was like one of the most like
demoralizing things i've ever witnessed in my life like this dude made a kid get like on his knees in
a bathroom like a dirty bathroom there's like a bunch of people watching he's like young i'm not
gonna try to speak japanese yeah it wouldn't come off not offensive but screaming at this kid and
this kid just yes yes whenever he says like head to the floor in a bathroom just for fun oh but the kid didn't even fuck up i mean he must have done something i didn't
see what happened before when i was taking a piss when the altercation started yeah but you don't
want to you don't want to fuck up another country yeah that's what it is yeah yeah it's too too
dangerous so do you if you're part of do you still dance or do you still oh yeah rip it up on the
floor yeah you have to because that's the only way that they'll appreciate you.
Yeah.
Right.
It's a universal language.
Yeah.
That's like why in Mongolia, we hit the club.
And we were tearing it up on the floor.
And people were just like, they were like, damn.
I don't think I've ever seen someone go this hard.
Yeah.
We were going for it.
Yeah.
We tore it up in every country we went to.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
If you don't dance, what else are you doing?
I'm right there with you.
Yeah.
It's my favorite thing to do.
If you're not talking to somebody, you want to kiss.
And you can get...
I think girls like it when you dance, too.
If they see you dancing, they're like, this dude's fun.
Totally.
Yeah.
And if they don't, like, I don't want any dancing.
It's not the girl for you.
Or boy, whoever you're into.
Well said.
All right, we got aaron
what's up chad and jt what up stoke nation i love the pod keep up the good vibes i'm in college and
live in trap house with six other guys it's a lot of fun but when it comes to raging there's a
problem our roommate logan is a schmole a schmole is like an undesirable in the crew it's like
someone who no one really likes but they keep hanging out a tug yeah a tug Yeah, a tug. And it's, I guess, like an epidemic.
Everybody writes in about it.
Schmoll?
Yeah.
It's just like a word.
It doesn't stand for anything.
Yeah, our boy Strider came up with it,
and it just means someone who kind of sucks,
but wants to be friends.
Like a goober?
Yeah.
Strider?
Mm-hmm.
That's a cool name.
He's legit.
Yeah.
Our roommate Logan is a schmoll and always wants to shut the parties down just when the parties are starting to spice up.
One time we shut down our toga rager at 11 p.m. right as babes were showing up.
He has done this many times.
I'm hoping you house party advocate experts can help our sitch.
Much love.
Keep up the good work.
Aaron, a.k.a. Jelly.
I just love that all your guys' emails are just jam-packed
with bro-cap.
I've never heard so many
bro terms
in one email.
Yeah, they're all good writers.
You gotta kick the shit out of the house.
You gotta find him a new place to live.
Yeah, because they're just so ideologically opposed.
It doesn't make sense for him to be in a house with guys
who are trying to do that.
Yeah, you just got to be like, dude, look, if you don't like the same things as us, maybe we should part ways.
Yeah, and if 83% of the house is into it and you're like, the one who's not into it.
We came here to do the thing that you don't want us to do.
Right.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's an easy out.
I don't know if I've ever lived with a schmall before.
You're lucky.
No, I only live with very few people I'm down to live with.
Right.
Ninja's legit.
Yeah.
As of lately, he's kind of into himself, but, you know.
It's that haircut.
Yeah.
You got a haircut you don't like?
No, I was talking about Ninja.
But, yeah, if you're living with a schmall, yeah it's something to balance or get with it yeah
this this one's kind of easy because i mean it's so obvious yeah yeah like you don't like to party
yeah go get a condom if you shut down a toga party at 11 p.m yeah you're getting beat up i'm sorry
not by me but like back if i was in college and somebody did that like for sure yeah well that
would never happen like one roommate's like everybody out everyone would be like whoa hold on get your boy yeah yeah it's weird this guy was
even able to like pull that off yeah it's hard to stop a lone ranger though like he doesn't have any
boys really if he's just the only one who's like everybody out and everyone's like yo chill he's
like no i don't fucking like you oh everybody out of here like what are you gonna do yeah he doesn't
even care that the other guys in the house don't like him anymore like almost out of a
desire to fit in you think he'd go along with it right shit yeah I gotta give him
the route yeah she dive into legends yeah let's do it so these are like a
segment we do where we call out our different of the weeks okay does that follow yeah yeah I'll start with Chad
Chad who is your legend of the week um so you guys might not know this I'm pretty jolly dude
but uh I also have a dark side and by that I mean I listen to Slipknot sometimes oh shit yeah um and
so my legend of the week is the band member who hits a keg with a bat That's his instrument
That's it
That's for real?
That's for real, yeah
If you watch any concert
He's just standing up there
And he hits a keg with a bat
And is he a full-time band member?
Yeah
So in the studio
He brings a keg
Dude, yeah
I have a quote from him
In the studio, if he's running late
They wait for him?
Apparently he has the swing.
He goes, I've had a lot of maggots come up to me and say they can't figure out how to duplicate my keg tone.
So let me tell you a little secret.
You can't just hit any keg with any baseball bat and expect it to sound like the culture changing event that is Slipknot.
Dude, damn.
I exclusively use Giemacher half kegs.
For a bat, I use Easton Macko Torque, great pop.
Dude, fire legend, dude.
Wow.
Science.
Yes.
Okay.
I want to know what level the beer is at in the keg, too.
Good call.
It's got to be precise, right?
Yeah.
I watched a concert on Letterman.
They're on Letterman, and he's standing there,
and he just fucking hits it. Wow. Yeah, he was out for a while. He tore his lab right? Yeah. I watched a concert on Letterman. They're on Letterman, and he's just standing there, and he just fucking hits it.
Wow.
Yeah, he was out for a while.
He tore his labrum.
Yeah.
I appreciate you shining a light on that legend.
Otherwise, I would have had no idea.
Yeah.
That's what it's all about.
It's like, talk about following your passion.
They're like, we're going to start a band.
He's like, all right, I'll stick with the keg.
Jimmy, who's your legend of the week?
I'm going to go with a relevant legend of the week
that also
also plugs our show
I'm gonna
shout out the legend
Nigel Houston
oh
oh nice
who
actually
graces the
fictional skate contest
in episode 4
of Real Bros
yep
which you can find
your boy Chad in as well
he is
what up and you you know just got to
give him a shout out for coming through and gracing the park with his legendariness it was
pretty epic to watch christian who's your legend of the week you might guess it because i'm wearing
this sweatshirt my legend is a whole squad fuck yeah dude or you might want to say a pack of bears
the chicago bears for sticking through the hard times took a hard l last week dinner for our qb
comes back this week and guys this is hard because because i grew up here the rams my second favorite
team was my first favorite team play my second favorite team but you got to go for your first
favorite team and we got that dub.
Yeah.
Jimmy Salty, you can hear him.
There's a lot of salty people out here.
I'm pretty salty.
I watched it with some Rams fans, too.
They were salty.
They didn't say much before they left.
Do we trust Trubitsky in the playoffs?
Nope.
It's going to be hard, man.
I mean, he threw less picks than Jared Goff last night.
I know.
They were like throwing him back to back.
Right.
And I love Goff, but he threw four picks.
I love him too.
I didn't think he was going to be this good.
Okay, guys, it was pretty cold.
It was very cold.
It was 24 degrees.
It said 24.
Goff's a California boy.
Did you see that?
How did he even gauge that?
He was like 18.
I mean, give the guy a break.
Yeah.
He's from Cali.
Well, legend.
Yeah, I dig that sweater too.
I got this for $3 at Goodwill. Looks good. That's a find. It's a come up, right. Yeah, I dig that sweater, too. I got this for $3 at Goodwill.
Looks good.
That's a find.
It's a come up, right?
Yeah, it looks good.
My legend of the week is Roger the Kangaroo.
You guys might remember him.
He passed away.
Yeah, he passed away at 12.
It's been all over the news today.
He was the super jacked kangaroo.
He had traps for days.
Looked like he was just hitting those hang cleans and going, you know, low reps, lots of sets.
And I respect the fuck out of that.
And I just like the way that, like, you can watch clips of other people talking about him in his neighborhood and you can feel the respect.
Like, this one woman's like, he's got very developed pectorals.
He's pretty intimidating.
I'm like, that's right, Roger.
Like, way to patrol your neighborhood.
Damn.
And I just love the way he would, like his natural space with no self-consciousness
and just let himself be seen in all his glory.
And I don't know if there's a lot of kangaroos like you, Roger,
but I'm betting not.
And you were missed, man, in your kingdom and ones beyond there.
That's real.
That's real.
That's beautiful.
Pour some out for the dead, homie.
Yeah.
I finished my drink.
Thank you for honoring him.
Thank you, dude.
Chad, who is your babe of the week?
My babe of the week is, since it's the holidays, it's Judy the Elf from the Santa Claus movie.
You guys remember that?
With Tim Allen?
Yeah, of course.
She made the hot cocoa for him.
Okay.
And I just want to give her a shout out for nurturing ways.
And some people might be like, oh, she's super young.
And it's like, actually, dude, she's like 1,500 years old.
Watch the fucking movie.
Eternal.
Yeah, so if some stoker should come at me for that, check your facts, dog.
So thank you, Judy, for giving Tim Allen some hot cocoa and being a nurturing elf.
Wow.
I'm going to go with my baby of the week.
I'm going to go with Lana from Archer.
Oh, dude.
I'm not sure if you guys ever get animated.
That's my girl.
She's the baddest.
I think she's the baddest on television.
Animated and not.
Lola Bunny's up there.
The girl from Goofy Movie, remember her?
Yes, the main girl girl what was her name
max max is the dude oh right wait is it maxine is that the girl that actually might be i don't know
i don't know anyway my babe of the week it's actually very similar to yours this person
is very important to me this time of the year. It's Mrs. Claus. Dude. Dude. Nice.
Because without Mrs. Claus, there's no Santa.
No Santa.
Without Santa, there's no Christmas or all the other holidays.
I think he's in charge of all the holidays now.
He's the president.
So, yeah, I think Mrs. Claus, this is an important time of year for her.
She's got to take care of my guy.
Massages, foot rubs, J.O., whatever he wants.
Rolling his J's for him.
Yeah.
Mrs. Claus, take care of him because if you don't take care of him, he can't take care of me. Right. whatever he wants rolling his J's for him yeah Mrs. Claus
take care of him
because if you don't
take care of him
he can't take care of me
right
you know what I mean
right
dude
she doesn't get enough
recognition
right
yeah
for sure
okay
and then yeah
that is true
like he gets to be off
like delivering all the presents
but who's keeping
the home situation right
exactly right
it's crazy over there
I like
all those elves
giving love to the unsung heroes
right
exactly
where's that movie
Mrs. Claus
sorry Melissa McCarthy
dude we're talking about
dream projects
dude you two could direct that
that would be a fire movie
you wanna do that
Santa's down
who's gonna do Christmas
just Rudolph with her basically
when Santa goes down
who's gonna step up
Melissa McCarthy
who does the voice of
Mrs. Claus
huh who does the voice of Rudolph or
is it Rudolph gang is it Rudolph sister Rachel yeah this is gonna be a Rachel
reindeer yeah that's right yeah this is gonna be all it's gonna be an all for
you like one of the strong protagonist try one an 11 reindeer yeah they'd have like a tagline like the north pole just got
a bit more chick friendly i don't know yeah i was hoping it would come um my baby of the week is uh
arwen live tyler's elven character from lord of the rings dude i'm glad we're both keeping it
with the elves dude um you know she was just super cool, like fierce in battle,
but then very gentle outside of the conflict.
And what I was most impressed by was the sacrifice she made for Aragorn
to just give away eternal life and be like,
no, I love this dude so much that these moments of bliss with him
are worth a million more that I could have without him.
So, yeah, that's just commitment.
a million more that I could have without him.
So like,
yeah,
that's just commitment.
And,
you know,
to tell your father,
Hugo weaving,
what's his name?
Elrond,
that you're bailing on so much tradition,
thousands of years of tradition.
That's not easy,
but you have to go with your heart.
And sometimes disobeying your parents is the way you show them. You really are the child that they raised you to be.
That's right.
Elrond, dude.
I know.
I just lost it at Elrond.
That name.
Who wins in a fight, her or Hermione?
Dude.
Dude, it's got her.
Tyler in that.
Hermione basically went through time in the third one.
If Hermione has time to use her book smarts
to help her out, then I go Hermione.
Alright. Chad,
who is your Beef of the Week?
My Beef of the Week is with our dog Strider.
The legend.
Strider.
I love Strider, I gotta say, but
you know,
over the past three weeks I've gotten in on that sweet action.
I've been betting on the games.
And I've lost every time because of Strider's picks.
Strider, dude.
And then last night, I went against his wish.
He was like, I'm going to go with the Bears.
So I'm like, I'm going to go the opposite and go with the Rams.
And the sweet action got the better of Daddy once again.
Damn.
That's tough, man.
Strider, I just, I think you need to, like, realign yourself with the sweet action got the better of daddy once again. Damn. That's tough, man. Strider, I just, I think you need to, like, realign yourself with the sweet action.
Well, dude, once you start losing when you're gambling, you start questioning all your decisions.
And it just, it's bottomless, dude.
Oh, it was a for real bet.
Yeah.
Well, you know what they say about gambling.
Tough 20 bucks, dude.
What do they say?
Oh, it's just between you two.
About gambling?
Oh, you put it on.
On mine.
Okay.
You know what they say about gambling was that when you're losing
yeah keep playing yeah you're hot right keep going yeah until you start winning
right that's what everyone says is that real advice yeah I heard it I've for
sure that's been my strategy I've been been my strategy. And drop out of Brown.
Drop out of Brown, hit Vegas, put it all on black.
Yeah, save that student tuition.
I've been visualizing that win.
Someday the sweet action's going to be good to daddy.
Just keep on going.
I like talking like a gambler more than anything.
Okay.
I thought I couldn't hang with the gambler talk.
Yeah.
Like the daddy and sweet action.
All the daddies and the over-unders and the spreads yeah i don't know what that means my roommate actually was so good at gambling that he put
his bookie out of his bookie stopped booking really yeah he was like i'm done i can't do it
anymore that's awesome yeah so he won he beat Dope. My brother's weed dealer thought my brother was selling weed.
Because he was buying so much?
He was buying so much.
He asked him to be a dispensary.
Are you selling it?
Yeah.
Who's your beef?
My beef is with those Balenciaga shoes.
The bulky ones?
The big, chunky, bulky Balenciaga shoes.
You don't like?
Actually, you wouldn't like those they're they're disgusting and they're uh about 800 and and you know what
they piss me off they for real yeah i love it they're dope they're not dope have you guys seen
this nah but yeezy's kind of like i'm now. Listen, I'm all for wear what you think is dope.
No one actually thinks these shoes are dope.
I don't care what Christian says.
He doesn't actually like them.
He listens to music late.
He's been told that he likes them.
I love these shoes.
Right.
I'm not buying them.
You better fucking not.
They're responsible, but I think they're cool from afar.
They're going to be on the ash heap of time.
I'm going to get a GoFundMe.
We're going to get you a pair of those fucking shoes.
I would burn them.
Oh, my God.
I would burn them on Melrose just to piss off all the hype beasts.
The hype beasts?
Yeah.
That's a good video.
Pissing off burning Supreme stuff on Melrose.
Yeah.
I was like, no!
No!
My beef of the week is with my family oh okay heavy what's going on it's fucking christmas time right now last year i don't know i ever told you this last year at christmas
my fucking family did christmas without me because i woke up late they're like come out stay at our
place i'm like nah I hadn't wrapped gifts.
I was late with the gifts.
I got all my gifts the night before Christmas,
and I hadn't wrapped them or anything,
and I just hadn't packed.
I just wanted to be home and drive out in the morning.
So I come stay with us.
I'm like, nah, I'm going to stay here,
and I'll meet you guys tomorrow.
All right, be here around like 8, 8.30.
I'm like, that's probably when I'll wake up,
but I'll let you guys know.
Wrap all the gifts,
go to bed at like 3 in the morning.
Wake up at like 8, 3, like I said. And my brother, I woke my brother like hey what time you coming over I just woke up I'll be I'm gonna
get dressed me over this I get dressed my fangs Christmas I'm happy right I
had a call from my brother after I got the shower he's like yo where are you
I'm like I'm about to head out he's like yo man we just like did it what do you mean oh man he's like i mean like we did
christmas like we all got up and we made breakfast and we ate breakfast and coffee and we all
exchanged gifts and what time did you get there dude i got there like 9 30 it wasn't even late
that's so reasonable i was heated i'm like what do you mean bro he's like bro i told dad to stop
he wanted to keep going i think my dad had gotten my mom a gift he was super excited about.
So he rushed the whole thing greedily.
Oh, man.
I was so mad.
So this year, I was so mad and it was validated.
Because when I went to my parents' house, they knew I was mad and they were being so nice to me.
Mom was like, here's your favorite food.
You're like, uh-huh.
Yeah, I was heated.
That probably made you more mad.
That would have killed my mom.
They know they're wrong.
Yeah, like 26 years
we do this one thing
and now you switch it up
I'm mad for you
thank you I feel like it's a legitimate concern
I'm putting myself in your shoes
I'm happy
I wake up it's Christmas
I tell them hey I'm on my way
they say sounds good
you get there you already did it
yeah to the chest ice pick to the chest yeah i was fucking heated so this year i'm i'm like
thinking like i wish they would do it again i'll burn this shit down i'm like kind of hoping
just so i can get mad you know i feel that righteous yeah he's coming over with a vengeance
yeah you rely on your parents to be the patient ones.
Right?
They're supposed to hold you back from opening the presents.
So, mom, dad, it's fucking beef.
Damn.
Season two.
That's way deeper than Balenciaga shoes.
That's right.
I like that you looked at the camera for that, too.
Yeah, just in case you find this, and then you'll hear also that I brought drugs into Mongolia,
so I'll make sure you never find this.
find this and then you'll hear also that i brought drugs into mongolia so i'll make sure you never my beef of the week is um i've been thinking about this for a while it's with death
i'm just like yeah everyone just accepts it like that we're supposed to die
you know but to me it's a disease and like it should be cured and i don't i think we all just
kind of accept it too casually like fuck dying like everyone's like no it'll be cured and i don't i think we all just kind of accept it too casually like
fuck dying like everyone's like no it'll be better it's like we don't know that and i'm
actually betting it's not well if you drink a few of these a day you should be i'm trying to
postpone it but i'm like i'm like we should all just freeze ourselves at the end and then just
be optimistic that they'll find a way to bring us back and that we'll be able to have that eternal
life here now with each other or we find a sourceer's stone i did i saw a video you guys posted like a couple days ago and
you were talking about something similar about freezing your head yeah so this obviously is
something that's troubling you i'm thinking about it a lot yeah and uh i think you gotta not think
about yeah same well so a youtuber i like who breaks down movies talked about the fountain
the aronofsky movie and he was was saying real peace is when you accept these things
and you just travel through life not trying to control it
because you can't.
It's out of our control.
But at the same time, I'm like,
is that really the mentality that we should have?
Yes.
You think so?
Yeah.
You think the enlightened route is just to accept
the ephemeral nature of our lives?
I think you got to just do the best with what you have here.
Yeah.
Man, it's challenging. Have accepted like the potential of your life and not like where it's at right now like how much how great life could be i think i have yeah but then that makes me think
even more scared because i'm like it's like time is of the essence you know what i mean
yeah and i don't want to stay at a party too long man i'd love a thousand more years to learn
everything else there is to learn, though.
No.
There's a bunch of books and all these stories.
Everyone who's immortal hates it.
But that's because we're in a pre-death-being-solved situation,
so all the ideology has to be about that.
But if we fixed it, wouldn't the people afterwards be like,
I can't believe they just accepted it.
I feel like your 80-year- old self might be looking at your current self
and saying oh man if you only knew if you only knew how i feel right now only if you're okay
how about this would you be happy if like a doctor was like yo i have the cure but like it's only i
only have one cure it's yours if you want it that's a tough one yeah because then i'd have
to go through it without my dogs right yeah just right away yeah yeah i'll get new homies yeah he's like
you can break it in half i swallowed the whole thing yeah yeah oh i could we could have split
oh my bad dude yeah forever forever yeah that's my beef what if what if like reincarnation's kind
of like you just come you die and then you're like oh dragon
coming back baby yeah no i know but i just i've seen people's like brains get altered through
life you know what i mean and it's like so when a part of their brain gets shut down like they're
irrevocably changed but for some reason we think when the whole thing shuts down we'll be reborn
in this full state you know and i'm just like doesn't quite check out for me but you know? And I'm just like, doesn't quite check out for me. But, you know,
much love to all those
who are departed
and I do hope I get to see you again.
Damn, real shit.
But if not,
I'll be chilling here
and living well for a long time.
Did the death of the kangaroo
make you realize this?
Dude, it was Roger, dude.
I was like,
a kangaroo that jacked
can't live more than 12 years?
Fuck this shit, dude.
Come on.
A frozen JT.
Yeah.
Me, frozen right next to Roger the kangaroo.
It's just us two for the rest of time.
Yeah, yeah.
It's good.
All right.
Now we just do our quote of the week real quick.
I don't know if you guys have any ready.
Oh, shit.
Did you get a quote?
I don't have a quote at the moment.
I'm going to probably think of one.
Chad, you want to bust it real quick?
Then I'll do mine and we'll give you guys some time.
Yeah.
No pressure.
My quote is from Pauly from Sopranos. Can I get just think of one. Chad, you want to bust it real quick? Then I'll do mine and we'll give you guys some time. Yeah. No pressure. My quote is from Pauly from Sopranos.
Can I get just...
Hold on.
Can I just get some macaroni and gravy?
Okay.
Okay.
What does that mean to you?
When he's in Italy and they're all having Italian cuisine and he's like, I'm Italian,
but nah, I'm not down with this cuisine.
I think it's like staying true to yourself.
For sure.
It's like you're in Italy.
They're like, get the pasta.
And he's like, I'll have macaroni and gravy.
Did they have it?
I haven't seen Sopranos.
Did he have it?
I don't remember.
I think he had it.
He's like, we don't have that, sir.
Give me the pasta.
I'll go back with Italian.
I wish I could do it as a boy.
I'll get the macaroni and cheese Italian I wish I could do it in this voice I'll get the macaroni macaroni and cheese
yeah I can do it
yeah
but
I think
yeah
that's my quote
okay
my quote of the week
and I hope I haven't done
this one before
but when I asked Chad about it
he's like dude it's so good
it's alright if you do it twice
it's from the movie Armageddon
and it's near the end of the film
after Harry Stamper
saved the world
and then Colonel Sharp
who was kind of an antagonist towards Harry the whole movie,
like didn't quite believe in him the way he should have.
But you know, it's tough.
He walks up to his daughter, Liv Tyler again.
And he says, excuse me, ma'am,
permission to shake hands with the daughter
of the bravest man I've ever met.
And then the camera cuts to her
and you just see her like so proud
of where she comes from.
And I'm just like, dude,
nothing gets me more jack than that like i hope one day even though i'm never gonna die if i ever did someone would come up to my daughter and drop that bomb on her you know wow it's damn
that's my quote i'm trying to think of a quote it can be a song okay be a song lyric yeah
i got one please dude thank you i've probably said this quote
before and people have probably also said this quote but this is pretty much the only thing i
remember from high school we're in art class and uh we were looking at one of these paintings mr
lee was showing us and it was just some like some shit anyone could have done you know like all these
splatters so my friend ryan was like mr lee how is that artwork like i could have done that
and he looked at him and he said you could have but you didn't where's that kid now
he didn't make it no i'm kidding he's frozen no no no
he's uh
I'm not sure
haven't checked in
with him in a while
but that quote
really uh
really resonated
with me
it's true
it's the doer
it's the man in the arena
you know
you know what I mean
you got the idea
do it
yeah
right
go do it
I'm trying to think
what songs I've listened to
I listened to
Take Care again
dude
last week and I was like God I'm so to think what songs I've listened to I listened to Take Care again last week and I was like
that song is so good
still so good
the whole album or just the song?
the whole album from the jumps
Marvin's Room is on that too
Marvin's Room, cameras
everything is just over my head body
the covers cruel
yeah
that's a beautiful album
do you have a quote from it? what's my song on there? Covers cruel love. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a beautiful album.
Do you have a quote from it?
What's my song on there?
No.
Oh, I like the track, the bar where he says,
I told my story and made his story.
Back to just being true to yourself.
You just talk about shit or just do shit that's important to you.
You will speak for others just by example.
I thought you were going to say,
everything I got is not a rental.
I own that motherfucker.
Uh-huh.
I own him, motherfucker.
What's that?
What's the rule?
Is that trophies?
Yeah, trophies.
That's like two albums later.
Still a nice sentiment, though albums later still a nice sentiment
it is a nice sentiment
alright dudes
guys
thank you guys so much
for coming in
it was such an honor
to have you guys
we really appreciate it
thank you so much
thank you for having us
we've been pretty stoked
dude thank you guys
cross way
thank you for coming
guys check out
Real Bros of Simi Valley
on Facebook Watch
episode 4
features your dog chad thank
you guys so much for having me i love the sean livingston reference in the first ep too oh yeah
yeah yeah oh dude you have shooter mcgavin too how is that dude you're the best oh man he's amazing
he's so talented too yeah he was great he was he was great to have. Yeah, he was cool. Came through, killed it. He was super chill.
The homie.
Yeah, he looks good.
Brought a great thing to the show.
Yeah.
You know, like that character we were like not sure who could be like that. We were trying for a long time to find that guy.
He was supposed to be just like a legend, you know?
Yeah.
And like Shooter McGavin.
Dude, yeah.
Checked all the boxes.
Yeah, he's so great.
He's cool as fuck.
Who do you guys got winning the Super Bowl?
Who do you guys got winning the NBA championship real quick?
NBA championship, Boston Celtics.
Whoa.
Bomb drop.
I don't know, dude.
It's tough.
NFL, I don't fucking know, dude.
I really do not know.
I don't know.
If the Rams.
Where are they playing?
Is it cold there?
If the Rams get first.
Where's the Super Bowl this year?
Atlanta, I think?
It's cold there in January.
Rams are good with the cold.
Are you?
I don't know.
Have you met Goff?
Yeah, I'm buddies with Goff.
Are you really?
Yeah.
Dude.
He's a good guy.
Is he a legit dude?
He's a big fan of Real Bros as well. That's awesome. Yeah. a good guy. Is he a legit dude? He's a big fan of real bros as well.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
There you go.
Is he a bro?
He's a bro.
Nice.
He's a man.
I mean, he's killing it.
He's killing it.
Yeah, for sure.
You know who else is a fan of real bros?
Christian McCaffrey.
Dude.
Yeah, he's fucking...
Tried to get him traded on my squad.
Yeah.
I wish I had drafted his ass.
I tried to get him.
My homie wouldn't trade him to me.
Who's laughing now, Logan?
You got eliminated tonight, son.
I'm still in it.
Shout out, Logan.
He's eliminated.
Wow.
Yeah.
You got to talk shit.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
To the fantasy dudes.
Bottom four.
Here we go.
All right.
Well, guys, thank you.
All right, bro.
Thanks for having us.
Thanks, guys.
Guys, that'll be it for episode 49.
Damn. 40-something. Anniversary coming up. 50th. Oh, dude. Maybe, that'll be it for episode 49? Damn.
40-something.
Anniversary coming up.
Yeah.
Oh, dude.
Maybe this is 50.
I don't know.
You should make it 50.
Yeah, this is 50.
All right, boys.
Guys, thank you so much.
That was awesome.
That was dope.
Good times, kid.
Good times. If you need advice These guys are really nice
You wanna know
What to do
Where to go
When you need someone to guide you
Just have a first-class time
Go in the dream
Go in the dream I'm going deep.