Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 50 - Strider, Jargon, Grand Gestures

Episode Date: December 27, 2018

What up stokers, in this episode we are joined once again by the relaysh expert, Strider, and we dive into some financial jargon, Offset’s grand gesture, and explore some of the differing terms for jacking off.  It’s dank, guys.  Jabwow. For bonus content, check out our Patreon: www.patreon.com/chadgoesdeep

What's up Stokers of Stoke Nation, this is Chad Kroger coming in with the Goin' Deep with Chad and JT podcast. This is episode 50, I think, yeah, 5-0 dudes, joined by my compadre, John Thomas, what up? What up Stokers, what up dude, what up dude, boom clap, boom clap. We're joined by our dog, the relation expert himself. What up dude, freaking every relationship is constantly growing and evolving and unlike my bros dude because we're solid like rocks always dude yeah rocks that grow dude so still like coral dude well yeah they get more like sedentary good call yeah they pick stuff up yeah they add

new like marbleization dude that's a freaking great call dude and then dude maybe we're freaking geodes where you crack that open and inside you're like what up i'm gonna put this on my desk freaking polyps dude polyps dude yeah in the vast coral reef yeah just straight up polyps dude i freaking recently we talked about jargon dude freaking jt loves jargon dude this is dude speaking of us growing movies yeah great jargon dude Chad loves jargon dude I love gambling jargon dude gambling jargon is fire I've been learning finance jargon dude which is like professional gambling how's your ROI been on that dude dank freaking dank dude getting sick return on investment dude oh dude at first I didn't get it so I covered myself by saying dank but dude freaking my my brain freaking computed that means you're a freaking bowl

you're a bowl is that some jargon dude bowl oh yeah dude i'm a i grab yeah it's a bull market dude you know what i'm saying dude i mean you got a green yeah you got a charge yeah yeah i think you're our cod chief of dankness oh dude dude that's freaking highest praise ever dude dude fucking thank you for saying that right now dude that's freaking raises my stoke c cdo c chief dank officer yeah yes dude i think that's a promotion yeah and every company needs a chief dank officer where they come in is like dude what is what we're doing freaking dank dude are the people gonna get stoked and amped on this and are we amped to provide whatever it is we're providing and i think a lot of people think it's gonna be like a major overhaul but you can just make some Are the people going to get stoked and amped on this? And are we amped to provide whatever it is we're providing?

And I think a lot of people think it's going to be like a major overhaul, but you can just make some little tweaks and the dankness will rise. Yeah. You get some schmoles out of the boardroom, dude. Yeah. Poke them immediately, dude. You freaking bring in some new freaking crushers, dude, some chillers, and you just have good ideas.

You'd be at a board meeting, you know, sitting in the corner and just sort of like they conduct their business. They're like, all right, Striderider and you're like not dank and then you give your tips bro he's a schmole clayton's a schmole yep bocum he's out dude if you've got freaking bros running your team dude like they're loyal dude they're gonna have your back it's a freaking crew like who doesn't want that dude but dude you gotta have good good uh ideas in there yeah for sure yeah it's a freaking crew like who doesn't want that dude but dude you got to have good good uh ideas in there yeah for sure yeah it's a this tight my dogs how has your guys's lives been recently have we all been enjoying it dude big change bros freaking benihana later dude oh that's right laterville dude the most current of current events, my dog. I know, dude. How do you feel?

Dude, it feels freaking liberating, dude. It feels freaking nice. I feel that I made you guys a little unstoked that I had this new step in my future, you know, to keep the stone metaphor alive. Major surprise. Yeah, dude. Benihana was like a launching stone for me, dude, to land on my next stone, which is crushing fat tips at valet. to land on my next stone, which is crushing fat tips at valet.

And dude, I'm stoked to be outside, dude, freaking getting bronzed and freaking maxing and relaxing with what I hope to be a new crew of dank dudes, dude. So yeah, dude, I'll miss Robert, dude, freaking Stephanie. You know, her studio apartment's chill, dude. Freaking Derek, who you met, just bought a tarantula, dude, and I fucking still want to meet that thing, dude. So I'm just pumped on, you know, pumped on relationships i've

created and seeing what new ones i'll create in the future dude dude that's tight derrick has a tarantula i didn't know that yeah he just got it he was 40 40 bucks oh fuck where did he get that oh dude uh dude funny enough dude that fucking this uh rare bird show store called omar's exotic birds fucking guy sells uh spiders too dude fuck dude should be called omar's exotic pets dude that's what i would do if i was the dank ceo what was it dude chief dank cdo cdo so would you say tarantulas are dank i'm not a spider guy dude but i mean if that's your pet of choice i'm not gonna judge yeah well i mean i remember like with friends who had reptiles it was less about like me getting to know the reptile and more me seeing them

with the reptile. For sure. It's a power move. Yeah. Well, it's like, you're like, like I watched my friend John like handle his like mountain snake that he had.

And I was like, this is interesting. Like he had to like use alcohol to corral it. Cause they hate the smell of alcohol. Yeah. And it was just bizarre to see someone do that. Yeah. Bizarre that snakes don't like partying,

dude. Yeah. I mean, you can put a little fricking Bacardi in in front of a python i'd like to see that thing wrap up around you know i'm saying maybe people get reptiles to like if they're like jolly dudes but maybe it's like a reminder that the world can be cold yeah you know then you see this creature you're like oh fuck you know i gotta watch my back a little bit good call dude the frailty of modern man dude just take your freaking shoes off and laird hamilton it for a day just walk around barefoot good luck dude yeah i remember when i was young i was like man it must suck to be cold-blooded and then as i got older and kind of like detached from thinking humans were the best i was like dude maybe it is more legit to be cold-blooded because you can change right like you're not we have to be at like whatever we are

like 98 degrees but like a reptile can be like 60 degrees and then the next day be like 100 degrees and it's like true i'm probably there's probably some animal experts out there who are like you're almost nailing it jt but you're a little bit off yeah and i'm sorry for that little margin dude that imagine that fluctuation you know like they'd be like how you doing today roger like i'm like 40 degrees today so you know i'm chill i'm sure yeah maybe that's chill yeah dude if you're an amphibian you're probably the chillest creature because you can just straight up post up in the water you know how to navigate yourself but on land you're you're legit too you know what i'm saying so and like pretty dank on both

things like a frog is an amphibian am i right right? Yeah. That's a dank animal, dude. You got freaking the maddest hops on land, and then you go in water and you're just chilling, dude. Yeah, for sure. For sure. So reptiles are probably comfortable with deceit, but that's not, I don't know if that's true. They just have no emotion. It's tough for us to project emotion on a reptile, dude.

Yeah. Squirrel, easy, dude. A rat, we just think it's easy. But, dude, who's to say a rat doesn't have the same emotions as a squirrel? Definitely got a tougher struggle, dude. But what I was going to say is I watched porn on Chad's computer when I borrowed it. You think that was a reptile move? No, I just think that, like, I wanted to talk about it.

Oh, what up? We'll dive in. Well, thank you for being open and honest. to talk about it. Oh, what up? We'll dive in. Yeah, what up? Thank you for being open and honest. That's what it's about, dude. I borrowed Chad's laptop to do some editing, and then I ended up going incognito and watching some porn, and I thought I was going to get away with it without any fallout,

but then Chad started having issues with his computer, and he messaged me and said, hey, did you do anything funky with my laptop because google chrome is fucked dude and then i had a malware i had to call him last night be like dude i was um i cranked it once well what what were the sites just one i don't want to like publicize it but it was like a it was like a one of the more uh yeah when you reputable ones when you said it when you said i'm like oh this sounds like a one of the more uh yeah when you reputable ones when you said it when you said i'm like oh this sounds like a legit site yeah so i i don't think it was that yeah i think google chrome was

just like dude i'm not gonna work for you right now dude sometimes they they get a little finicky you know what i mean dude like yeah bro that's gonna happen dude i mean look dude you're using incognito mode you're being chill dude You're not freaking making anything pop up when you're typing in search bars or something. Yeah. When you're in an office meeting. So, dude, that's legit. Yeah. And, dude, you got to be honest, dude.

Straight up respect, dude. Thank you. Well, I only came clean, though, because I thought. Pun intended, dude. I thought the cat was out of the bag. I thought you were going to take it to the Apple store and be like, someone watched porn on this thing. Dude. And then you're going to be like, well, who did that?

Dude. And then I'd have to pin it on your roommate or something. I'd be like, dude, go ask Andrew about that shit. It looks like you were watching Backroom Casting Couch. Yeah. Dude, as a dude in a relationship, dude, sometimes you'll delve into adult video range, and it's always 30-year-olds in love, missionaries, usually what I'll type in.

But, dude, I brought my computer into the Apple store because I was having problems, dude. And obviously it was because of porn. And I remember, like, talking to the guy and being like, yeah, dude, I got some, like, malware because I'm into video editing, dude. And, like, yeah, I'm trying to, like, keep a lot of videos that I create online. But, like, I don't have the raw footage anymore. And the guy's like, nah, dude, just let me see this computer. Dude, don't worry about it. Like, he hit, like, two buttons and fixed it immediately.

Wow. And he's like, just get out of here. He's like, dude, be real with me. Yeah, he's like, I know, dude. He probably would have, if you were to actually, like, see your search thing, he'd be like, wow, this is a respectable dude. There's probably a solid relation you if you were to actually like see your your search thing you'd be like wow this is a respectable dude there's probably a solid relation thank you dude and i think that would be true dude i think that'd be very true if i wasn't in incognito mode oh you dog that's how you gotta do it dude you dog straight up do you ever like do like searches

so that your gf can see like that you you know search for like passionate missionary straight up so they're like she's like oh he's fantasizing about me dude that's a freaking dang call i should definitely just type that into google one time not peek too hard but just type it in there let it go so if she's ever on my computer dude sometimes she'll like to hop on pure one imports website dude you know my computer's close by she knows my passwords dude straight up you know not every couple does that dude we're fine with that dude i got nothing to hide i'm straight up legit like that dude yeah so and dude you know she see that's probably a good call for me to do that dude and then she'll be like what is this i'll be like it's two people in love i like looking at that dude

that's good you know what i'm saying it's good stuff that's your idea dude that's a great idea totally credit me if you can i'll definitely worksite you dude and just lay that down dude you've got bibliography my dog dude oh dude hell yeah cite it exactly dude modern language association dude dude we partied on saturday night what me and chad we hit it dude it's good to get out there in the streets yeah we went hard yeah dude that's freaking epic that went pretty hard too saturday night dude my girlfriend and i stayed in watched the princess switch i think it was the sequel dude i'm not sure um dude it was a nice nice time dude um i bought these brand new ice cube makers dude and six hours later dude we started the movie six hours later dude that ice cube came out dude it was freaking looking good dude like and i even went the extra mile dude do you know how they make clear ice bros how did you heat up the water dude and it straight up

evaporates stuff out of it like some science stuff out of it and then that's what creates the clear ice you freeze it when it's hot dude right just really you just so you just put the hot water in the freezer and then it doesn't have those impurities color-wise? Yeah, dude. Okay. No, dude, it was my first time, and a few little impurities were in there. I'm not that dank at making it. But, dude, it came out nice. Really, really felt—really, really went the extra mile.

It's like a more elegant experience that way? Correct. It made me feel very neat, dude, being at home like that. I felt pretty neat. I'm sure the lady loves that. Oh, dude, it was great. She was chilling, dude. I made her a chamomile tea, dude, and I poured myself one little

whiskey, dude, and just freaking enjoyed that movie, dude, taking in the holidays, dude. Speaking of the devil, dude. With some sweet ice cubes. Yeah, dude. Oh, stoked on it. Dude, we were dancing. Yeah, we went to a holiday party and then a rooftop party. Oh, we went to two holidays. Yeah, we went to three.

Dude, that's what you know. We were mobile. We were heading across town. Yeah, we went to we went to two parties yeah we went to three dude that's what you know we were mobile we were heading across town yeah we went yeah we went all we did like a full-on triangle of the whole town the rooftop party was sick yeah there was a live band that was pretty good we were good yeah yeah i like watching people perform yeah that's fun absolutely dude although in the last one i think i said i don't like concerts that much really but you know what you like live music though dude there's a difference dude if you're in an intimate setting right you're right there's a band on you're pretty stoked there it is different thank you one of my old uh co-workers at benny hawn and nathan dude played drums and he freaking invited me one time to go to him in his buddy's house where they just jam and one time the guy like it was pretty chill i probably never felt

cooler and he'd kind of like the host of the party would walk around to people, and he'd be like, hey, what do you play? And people would be like, oh, I sing. Or what do you play? Oh, I brought a bass. Or what do you play? A horn. But I don't have it with me tonight.

He's like, don't worry. I got extra horns if you want some. Oh. And all these artists are playing. He asked me what I play. I was like, we're here to watch, dude. But it was chill. He was still accepting, and I had a great time.

Hell yeah. It's a vital part of the experience to have audience. True. Yeah, they appreciate it, dude. That was my, was my yeah dude that was my part in the band that's sick we hit those parties and then we went to a diner yeah we got some we got some dank this is four locations dude yeah the diner was the best part yeah yeah it's a little fuzzy for me oh really yeah oh man you forgot all the stuff we talked about? Dude, I was drilling it. I know. Well, I know.

No, it's gone? It's not all gone. It's gone. Nah, dude. I knew the next day it was gone. You guys had a nice talk, dude? Did you expect like a follow-up text? I thought I'd see it on your face more.

Yeah. I looked at you. I was like, does he remember? I was like, I think it's gone. Maybe we just recreate it. We just got to get back out there. Oh, it's going to happen again, baby. Yeah, yeah. Baby, it's gone maybe we just recreated we just got to get back out there oh it's gonna happen again baby yeah yeah yeah baby it's happening again oh yeah so do you remember what you ate at swingers yeah it's a steak and eggs yeah that's what he had yeah that's a great

late night meal dude but then you got something sweet on top of it right didn't you end it with a cookie or something dude i think i got a friggin'... Because I got a brownie sundae. I think I got some chocolate ice cream. You got two scoops of chocolate ice cream. That's what you do. That's what I usually get. Yeah. That's what Daddy usually gets. Daddy likes two scoops of chocolate ice cream.

When I saw Chad maybe splurging on it, I was like, I'm going to get in there, too. Yeah. You got to get that. Dude, I love just scoops of ice cream at a diner. Oh, dude. And whipped cream. Fuck. I think you sleep better afterwards.

Yeah. Dude, you just feel comfortable after that dude and dude the best part is just kicking it with your boys having a nice meal dude after you did some raging for sure it's great dude it was a good conversation you know about life and just being a beast yeah love that dude in all respects yeah i freaking love that dude ferocious and tender oh dude i appreciate it so appreciate you dog it's fun yeah i love my dogs getting after it yeah it's fun dancing with your dog at like a on a roof yeah yeah i felt very like i felt a lot of gratitude it was cool that i got up on that roof you know partying on

a roof is a great freaking that's that's not everyday occurrence dude i saw the coldest thing i've seen this young girl was like puking everywhere she's oh she's so sick and i was like someone asked me to help me so like was like hoisting her up with this other person and then the person i was hoisting her up with turn it was like hey you're friends with her and this girl was like i don't really know her that well damn yeah totally abdicated responsibility yeah she's like i'm staying on the roof yeah and then her brother came he's wearing like a jean jacket had like rocker hair he's like what up he's like, I'm staying on the roof. Yeah. Fuck that. And then her brother came. He's wearing like a jean jacket, had like rocker hair. And he's like, what up? He's like, Kelly, are you okay?

She need to go to the hospital? I was like, dude, maybe. And then he's like, everyone's like, no. Dude. I was like, Kelly, let's go. Yeah. Good line to get back into a bar is, my sister's in there. She's in trouble.

Bouncer will probably let you in, dude. My sister's in there. She's feeling sick. He's like, all right, go ahead, get her. I'm not drinking tonight, dude. My sister's just sick and she's in there. I need to get her out. Then you're in, dude. My sister's in there. She's feeling sick. He's like, all right, go ahead, get her. I'm not drinking tonight, dude. My sister's just sick and she's in there. I need to get her out. Then you're in, dude.

Line skipped. That is a very good one. Do you think my mom's in there would work? Dude, I mean, higher emotional stakes, but yeah, still works. My mom's in there. It's much more complicated than the bouncer. Definitely, he's like, whoa. But you know, if he's got a mom who likes booze,

and he's like, all right, man, I get it. Go ahead, dude. Oh, dude, that sucks. Yeah, it's a bummer, man. It's probably a different tone when you ask. Yeah, it's not like, hey, my sister's in there. I got to go. It's like, my mom's in there.

You're so fucked, dude. Yeah, my fucking mom's in there, dude. Mom? Mom. Mom? Mom, pull your pants up. You're like opening the bathroom. You're like, please, dude. Yeah. My fucking mom's in there, dude. Mom? Mom. Mom? Mom, pull your pants up. Mom, all right. You're like opening the bathroom.

You're like, please don't be in here. Men's bathroom, yeah. Mom? Mom? Mom? Phillip, is that you? Oh, Mom. Mom, let's go.

Let's go. Mom, we're leaving now. But what if your mom's running the pool table just drilling it, dude? Oh, dude, then you support, dude. Then you're like, oh, Mom? Do you know, even if she is in running the pool table just drilling it, dude? Oh, dude, any support, dude. Then you're like, oh, mom? Even if she is in the bathroom with some dude, if she's having a good time. She's letting loose. And guess what, dude?

She's a grown woman. You can take your sister to school tomorrow. Yeah. Exactly. That's what you got your driver's license for. Yeah, don't fucking harsh on her. That's true, dude. Maybe.

I was shaming the moms. Yeah, maybe you just open the door to give her props. Be like, mom, keep going. Just throw a dime bag under the stall. Yeah, nice. But then you got to grill her props. Be like, Mom, keep going. Just throw a dime bag under the stall. Yeah, like, nice. But then you've got to grill that guy and be like, all right, dude, is this dude worthy of my mom? Like, what's your rank in the biker gang?

Are you near the top? Are you going to be a consistent member who I can rely on being in this crew next year? Yeah. What's your name, dude? Tony? Yeah. All right.

All right, dudes. We've got some current events events you guys want to freaking oh man let's talk about it freaking stoked first up dude cardi b was headlining the uh rolling rock festival i have that wrong and uh during her headlining set her uh now ex-boyfriend father of her child offset from the rap group migos i sound like an alien came out onto the stage and tried to get her back yeah dude i know dude dude it was so she was like she's not having it yeah she seemed pretty nonplussed about the whole thing i think that just goes to show that uh grand gestures i don't know about them what i don't know dude dude i think you we can't write off all

romantic gestures but i'm not writing them i'm just saying when there's an audience maybe that's what makes it grand you gotta do it yeah i mean yeah i mean to get negative but you know no no just now it's all good maybe i'm just in a negative mindset after watching that and how hard it bombs you're empathetic to him dude you just don't want him to be in that pain like all that poor guy but dude here's a big risk big reward but dude this is her show dude you gotta imagine what if she's like oh yeah what if she's a ceo dude what if she's a ceo of a company you gotta look at it like this is her work this is her job her art what she loves dude if freaking somebody came up to you say you love playing guitar dude

at freaking you know coffee shops or whatever and some girl comes in and interrupts your set dude with like i mean but not to be cynical don't we feel like she was in on it i mean because they rolled out like like tables and stuff like and it had like arts and crafts on it like i don't feel like he did that i feel like he had like a production team helping him and like yeah a bunch of pas rolled it out like i don't think you could get past security at like yeah the fest i feel like but he could have been like yo it's a surprise for cardi b right don't tell her but we're gonna do this let's rehearse it when she's like away and but they know they're an artist no i know he probably got them all on board with the romantic gesture dude he's probably like no right everyone's we're gonna do this everyone's susceptible to everyone's like it's romantic we'll do it yeah they're like dude it could be your job it's like

it's romantic yeah maybe i think maybe if it were different you know if it was like tony robbins and someone did a romantic gesture for him he'd be pumped on it so i think that would probably put me in a more optimistic um mindset about romantic gestures like if someone came on to do one for him he'd probably make this is a breakthrough like if like a lady at like or yeah at a tony robbins like uh thing yeah he's like we're gonna make breakthroughs and then she comes out and does her thing she's like i just had a breakthrough you know what i'm saying true dude not quite i mean he's all about breakthroughs at tony robbins event absolutely dude breakthroughs so then and then she does the romantic gesture for him he's like wow this is a breakthrough in our relation.

You know what I mean? But he has a wife. Yeah, I'm talking about his wife. Oh, his wife does it? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. I'm just throwing it out there, dude.

No, I get it. I'm with it. Dude, I'm taking it and I'm checking it home, dude. I'll tell you right now. Breakthroughs are freaking dang. Back me up, dude. And dude, let me tell you. Here's the thing that he's not thinking. And what you're thinking when you're saying breakthrough is,

it's about her in the scenario you created at Tony Robbins, but back at the concert, dude. He's thinking about me. He's like, dude, I'm going to go out there. I'm going to get her back. I'm going to freaking take this moment. But he's not thinking, what did I? Not about her. That's a thought about him. But like, dude, this is her concert. What does she think about it but he's not thinking, what did I, not about her,

that's the thought about him, but like, dude, this is her. What does she think about it? What's she thinking? How's this timing affecting her? What are like all the consequences

of that, dude? I mean, maybe he swept up in the romance, dude. So, I think he came from a positive spot,

but it was just a little tone deaf, dude. A little, I think the tone was off. Good call. You know, if it's an 80s John Hughes movie, I'm in, dude. Give it to me, dude.

Load me up, dude. Cardi B concert, live, I don't know, dude. So we appreciate where his romantic yearnings were coming from, but just not the execution. Yeah. True, dude. Yeah, dude, because if it was just him and something small, but like you're saying, dude, he had interns and PAs and stuff helping him out dude it's like what yeah so manufactured dude so maybe he should have done something a little bit cooler

like if he had like parachuted onto the stage i think that would instead of these people just rolling out like it was a little slow like cakes where it's just like she's trying to do those words she i don't even know i don't know if they're cakes i don't even know if they were cakes. I don't even know what they were, dude. She's like trying to start her song and then like these people are rolling shit out and it's taking like 10 minutes. And she's like, what am I doing up here? But if he were to just like parachute onto the stage and just like came in, like, dude, you can't say no to that. Like Steve Martin says, be undeniable. Yeah, that's undeniable.

Yeah, exactly. You know what, dude? He didn't lean in hard enough dude what he did wasn't grand enough dude if you're gonna be grand you got to go grander dude or go small you got to pick a live in the extremes when it comes to love in that setting dude also why are they broken up why'd they break up dude i don't know the history on that i think is he cheated on her all right well don't do that dude yeah yeah good call then you're gonna be all right dude yeah yeah i respect the boldness yeah you got to respect the boldness dude what about uh what do you guys think about uh pete davidson seems like he's really

struggling yeah poor guy had a social media post i think uh insinuating suicide yeah dude. He seems like a pretty solid dude. And, like, dating Ariana Grande and, like, being a cool actor guy, I respect all that. So if you want to come kick it with us, I don't know if he wants to, but if he did, I'm down.

Dude, I think that's an extremely dank thing to offer because, dude, when you have your bros, that's the best thing you can offer, dude, is your crew. Yeah. And hanging out and kicking it, dude, because that have your bros, that's the best thing you can offer, dude, is your crew. Yeah. And hanging out and kicking it, dude, because that's where the strength comes from is the camaraderie, dude.

So, and you know, in tough times, you got to lean on, you got to need a shoulder to lean on, dude. It sounds like he does need a squad. Yeah. You know, and I totally get where he's, you know, if you have like a fiery fling with a huge pop star yeah i'd probably get some tattoos too yeah i'm not gonna lie i'd probably go act a fool on jimmy fallon's show too i'd be like yeah like it is lit jimmy for sure it is freaking lit that's the thing it's like when i first thought i was like that is douchey but then he got so much blowback for it i was like but i do kind of see where he's coming from like it is fucking lit and how else are you going to talk

about it like yeah back in the back in the day if like i'd hooked up with britney spears and then she like we like got engaged i would be like i don't even know what i would do but i think that's why pete needs a squad to like keep him in check yeah like less ink you know just like to keep him in check and encourage him it feels like he's like yeah he's just lacking at this point solidness yeah yeah everyone's coming from too high status of a look of a point of view on pete it's like dude not to be negative but like pete's a successful comedian like he's on snl like but like we're saying we don't find him all that hilarious but he's got some stuff that works but whatever dude that's choice and comedy subjective dude and keep doing you but it's like but it's like dude us normal people dude like

if we were dating ariana grande we would tattoo every part of our arm then cut it off like dude like you know what i mean like of course you would do that dude yeah put whatever tattoo you want on there then take the arm dude yeah say thank you next limb i love you dude for loving me back ariana grande yeah i'm not worthy wayne's world style dude you know i'd probably get horn implants on my head be like this is badass you know i feel like a badass of course i'd get wing implants on my back oh dude that's probably even better because that's more like in her brand too so i could fly to her next concert like offset should have yeah dude i mean ariana grande dude um she's chill she's chill dude um i like her music a great deal yeah dude and that new video that she has she's very chill i haven't seen it yet dude my gf showed me that video i really really really

enjoyed it nice yeah it's ripping it up people seem to love the views yeah yeah congrats on that ariana yeah dudes so hbo came out with a new documentary about surfing it specifically highlights the momentum generation as their iconic surf video is named it's like kelly slater rob machado and shane dorian were the heavy hitters i was familiar with going into it yeah and uh it was a movie about like all their friendships because they've been a crew since they were like 10 and now they're all in their 40s and they like you know are some of the biggest names in surfing especially kelly slater and it's just about it was kind of just about their relationship dynamics dude i freaking love just a straight up quote in the

very beginning dude or like all these dudes dude they have tough past dude they come from broken homes they have difficult father figures dude and then they found their family of bros dude and i'm like that's what i have with my dogs here immediately made me think about that dude i was like this movie's freaking dank so pun intended dude i love puns i was on board from the get-go dude nice yeah i love that sincerity too i'm and yeah i that was the first thing i noticed too is they all made that firm decision at a point in their lives where they're like, man, that childhood was fucked up, but you know what? I'm going to use that as fuel to dominate.

To dominate. I learned one thing. If you were a good dad, you definitely couldn't do a frickin' backy-kicky dude frickin'. I don't even know the name of the move, dude, but a backy-kicky probably would sound sick, dude. Frickin' JT and I one time went out to San Onofre, dude, frickin' old man's, dude, the name of the move dude but a backy kicky probably sounds sick dude freaking jt and i one time went out to san onofre dude freaking old man's dude um on like some 90 boards having a nice

little mellow day dude um and uh i kind of like got in the way of with this like uh grown woman um in my estimation dude like looking back probably like was a chill older lady who maybe worked at like trader joe's like if you can envision what that looks like and well built dude she just gave me the bird and was like the fuck out off my wave and i was like dude she looked like the nicest lady but had so much rage yeah that's a big part of surf culture i mean sunny garcia and the doc kind of like represents that like um that like aggro surfer where he's like yeah i had no problem dude if you came into my water and you were being disrespectful i had no problem kicking your fucking ass yeah and you're like yeah dude you are super badass like he's built like a football player but you're also like you're probably

pretty excited to beat people up yeah yeah it seems like you really loved it to the point where maybe a few people i love the intensity gave rob machado a high five i would have ran that fucker over i'm trying to win the world title. Yes. Like so many servers are like, when they talk about that moment when Rob Machado gave Kelly Slater a high five after getting a big barrel at Pipeline. And instead of kicking out to maintain priority, he gave Kelly Slater a high five, which gave Kelly priority. And then he won the competition. And like so many servers are like, yeah, I would have run him over.

I would have run him over i would have run that fucker over and rob's like you know you're stoked you give him a high five i don't know yeah well that's basically like so kelly slater throws up this high five which gets rob machado distracted yeah so kelly can beat him out for the next wave and win their heat and win the world championship rob was in first going into that and then um kelly's like no dude i was just giving love to my friend there was no like conniving involved and then um kelly's like no dude i was just giving love to my friend there was no like conniving involved but every other surfer's like kelly knows what he's doing at all times yeah yeah but then it was also like i mean rob should have just

been more present and avoid him that was the thing that when we watched it together and we were both like like i get it like rob and chad was like look i'm just not that guy i'm not that competitive i'm not gonna like fight someone to get the wave and i I was like, well, dude, it's a sport. It doesn't mean you're a bad person. I think they kind of vilified Kelly Slater almost too much, where I was like, he was just like... He was gaming. It was a little game-smanship.

I thought he was being the most honest with himself, because all the other guys are competitive. And they were like, but I'm just not like that. I'm like, I think you are. I think Kelly's just maybe a little better. He owns it. But his style of competition was a little sneaky not like that. I'm like, I think you are. I think Kelly's just maybe a little better. He owns it. But his style of competition was a little sneaky and underhanded. You'd like straightforward.

Yeah, he did do some, you're right. He did some weak shit. You'd like straightforward competition. But like you're saying, Rahmachado just needs to step up. And what's the phrase, dude? Leave it on the field. Leave it on the court. Leave it in the water.

Go game and then be boys when you get out of the water, dude. And I mean, I only know what I saw from the movie. I don't know like the whole context. But I did know what I saw from the movie. I don't know the whole context from surf culture. But I had a friend I was talking to about it. And he's like, dude, the thing is, I'd much rather watch Rob Machado surf than Kelly surf. Really? And I think a lot of people,

I don't know a ton about surf culture, but I think a lot of people do feel that way. We're like, whatever it is Rob doesn't fight for in the competitive sphere might help him just as an overall aesthetic surfer. He's loose yeah i respect that much more relaxed but is it also that is it also that thing where you're like oh dude my favorite ninja turtle is donatello dude because he's deep it's like no dude everyone loves

michelangelo right this guy just trying to be different dude you know what i mean like when like trying to be like deep who machado no no the gear buddy who said who the guy who you said likes watching rob machado no i think i think most i think most people feel that way oh that's how most people feel yeah he does have a very effortless like you're like wow why is this so why does this look so easy for him right whereas kelly's much more aggressive i guess but he he flows so well he's so athletic that it's so smooth too so well that's because i mean still yeah but yeah rob has a very unique style so i think that's why people are kind of captivated by him who is the guy you were saying is like the best free surfer but like just struggles at competition dane reynolds well him and bruce irons like they were

expected bruce irons was expected to just dominate um because they're like you know he's better than andy he's smoother but just in competition like some people i think some surfers just aren't wired that way right i think maybe it does something to them where they have like a time limit and they're like you have to get the best waves you have all this pressure you have to think about judge scores and all that stuff i think it probably affects their ability to like perform yeah so it's tough dude and surfing so innately just like chill and you're like supposed to be like you think of surfer you're like oh you're posting you're hanging out yeah hang with your boys and then you have to be these sharks dude you have to be competitive assassins out there

so it's tough yeah slater was the perfect balance and the surf culture felt like that like what they would categorize as like evil or like competitiveness, it didn't seem that competitive relative to other sports. They were all such chill guys that when they were like, oh, he was the aggro one or he was the extra chill one, I'm like, you all seem about the same level of chill. But almost because Kelly was such a big deal, it's like they almost all had to react to him and create their own personality like in response to him

yeah that's what rob machados felt like he's like the soul surfer now but i was like i don't know if you would have been that soul surfer unless you got beat by like the competitive guy yeah it was basically like he got voted out of the tour because that was crazy broke his hand crazy which is yeah this is nuts and sort of like he was like i didn't have a sponsor i didn't know what to do and it sounds like he'd made a conscious decision to like build this brand. He's like, well, I'm a drifter now. I'm in touch with the earth. And you're like, all right.

Yeah. And then Kelly, after 11 world titles was like, I'm going to kind of do that too now. Yeah. Just in everyone's dome. Like Kelly finally chilled and he was like, I'm chill now. And it's like, well, yeah, cause you've won like everything. So you have no problem hanging out with anybody well he comes out with a video kelly the drifter well rob's like fuck dude also dude theory do you think god got back at

uh or not got back but even the playing field by giving rob machado all that hair on his dome and kelly slater none dude there is a fairness to it. Dude, and the other thing, the two worst looking guys now were the two guys who were angriest back in the day. They're both hilarious. Sonny Garcia and Martin Potter. Martin Potter, yeah. And maybe it's just the way they edit it, but every quote is them being like,

I'll fuck you up. Don't get on my wave. I'll fuck you up. And now their faces look all ag. Yeah, and Mark Aculupo, he didn't want to win his heat because he's surfing against sonny garcia he's like he's like the one i can't do australian x he's like the hawaiians mate like i was scared and i was just like i was like oh fuck i won he just didn't

want to get out of the water because he's like they're gonna fuck me up oh dude dude yeah in the semis he's out there and he tells sonny's like take whatever wave you want yeah amazing dude just having that control dude be like it's mine yeah just take it dude i love that dude and then i started thinking at the end i was like because at the end of it i was like oh i kind of like kelly i watched like three times i was like i think i like kelly the most and then i was like but maybe kelly's so smart because everyone in it talks about him like in this like reverential tone where they're like we don't even know how his mind works he's so competitive

he's so smart and then I was like maybe Kelly like said the exact right things to make him look more honest than Machado

yeah well Andy Irons would talk about he'd be like they had a he and Kelly had a movie Fly in the Champagne

which talked about their rivalry and he's like he totally you know read books like He and Kelly had a movie, Fly in the Champagne, which talked about their rivalry. And he's like, he totally read books on strategies in war and stuff. I know he did. Fuck him. Which is hilarious. Yeah, that is really funny.

All right, dudes. Should we get into some questions? For sure. Yeah. We got some very good questions this week some stokers really freaking put it all out there all right what up so my squad has been aggressively has always been aggressively swallowed solid but in the past couple weeks there's been some major tensions that have caused a rift basically one of my bros has been making jokes about one of my other bros

that honestly weren't meant to offend, and they've been pretty harmless. However, bro two has taken major offense, cutting bro one out of all squad activities and ranting on social media about what an ass bro one is. Bro one tried apologizing, but he was met with a harsh rejection, and he's unwilling to try again. Since our group is pretty small and bro one is one of our closest friends except for bro two. How do I help mend the gap and bring the squad back to normal? I don't want to take sides as I love both bros dearly. From Alpha Male.

Naughty. First of all, that's definitely a bro mega male. Dude, this guy's keeping the group together. Nice. Not alpha, bro mega. Nothing wrong with not being alpha, dude. For sure.

Like bro guardian. Exactly. That sounds as legit as anything. Yeah. for sure like bro guardian exactly that sounds as legit as anything yeah yeah um should he get involved should he try to bring these two bros together i remember one time there was an argument back in the day with like i forget who it was but jt was like dude you guys gotta squash it greg and ferrara yeah and you helped out you know what i mean yeah i said ferrari squash it yeah i think he's just got to let these brothers squash it yeah it's so context specific but it's true

but yeah if you can yeah if you can do it if you feel like one of them is going to be receptive to it yeah this is like it does feel like one of those situations where you know this person can step in as the media and be like look we gotta figure this shit out let's all meet up and squash this right now basically what you were just saying yeah dude you meet up at a dank breakfast burrito spot or freaking islands or whatever your freaking where you bros paddle out or skate or wherever you you board if it's freaking winter dude and you freaking have you plan to have a nice shred session afterwards. But beforehand, rule number one is we're going to freaking squash this, dude. And you know what?

Now that I'm thinking about it too, it's like – I was like, no, but you can't do it in every situation because like we had two bros who beefed. And I would never have asked them to mend it. But if they got in a fight over a girl and it was like more serious this is like nothing yeah like one of the bros is just being sensitive and the other bro might be needling him too much but that's not reason to like have like a major fracture like yeah i mean you just gotta yeah get these boys together and talk some sense into them yeah make them confront the issue and see how absurd it is yeah be like what are you guys doing exactly yeah like over this yeah maybe get joe in there to be like what are like, what are you doing?

What are you doing? This is dumb. I'm going to go eat. And, dude, we used to do this thing with Ferraro, dude, where, like, remember, it would be nothing. We used to say this, dude. We'd be like, we'd be all, the O noise. Remember the noise?

Oh, like that. Like someone would do something lame. You'd be like, oh, like that. To a certain point, like it's funny at one one time but if you keep doing that no matter what anyone says it's gonna bother some anyone at any point so it sounds like this guy kind of has one of those jokes going where it's like a little dig that means nothing but the dude's probably been like yo cut it out you gotta have some maturity and be like even if even if it's just the oh noise which means nothing it's not saying anything about your personality it's just a little bit

of bullying at that point dude and he's your boys dude just you gotta lay back it's all ratio like yeah and sometimes you're putting too much um too much salt not enough sweetness i don't know yeah no it's like in a in true grip matt damon says he's like put out very little sugar with your pronouncements and like this one bro is not he's not putting out any sugar correct yeah and i like sweeten it up keep it off social media, bros, too. Yeah, that was bad. I never understand that. Dude.

Why are you going to post a status? Like, what the fuck? It just makes you look bad. It makes you look crazy. Yeah, dude. I got older bros who kind of helped raise me, and some of them will get on social media and be like, hey, I'm pissed at this fucker. I'm like, dude, you're like 40.

Yeah. Like, you're complaining about your friend dynamics? Like, come on, dude. Dude. Yeah. Your wife's at this. I'm like, dude, you're like 40. Yeah. Like you're complaining about like your friend dynamics. Like, come on, dude. Dude. Yeah. Your wife's reading this. Keep it off. Exactly, dude.

Your nephew's reading that, dude. Yeah. Like, what are you doing, dude? Employers. Like, you having beef, dude? Yeah. Yeah. You go to work the next day.

That's exactly it. You want people at work being like, how's your beef going with your buddy Donald? Yeah. Seriously. I'm glad you asked. I'm glad you asked. I'm fucking pissed, dude. Yeah. Yeah. yeah i'm glad you asked let me go find my phone and tell you about it dude yeah come on bro well dude i think i made it obvious with the post yeah

it's all in the post dude i'm not explaining it yeah stand by my art mormon bro desperately seeking life advice what up chad and jonathan i have an absolute boondoggle on my mind currently i'm about to start another semester of college at LDS University in Idaho. To understand my problem, first you need to know that typically Mormons tend to get married young, 20 to 25. I am 21, but I have little desire to get married right now. I love to hunt and fish. And where I go to school in Idaho is an absolute mecca for an outdoors person due to its close proximity to Yellowstone, Jackson Hole, and Island Park. When I get out of class each day, I find my mind wandering towards my next adventure. But my problem is that I don't know if I should pass up the golden opportunity to date a few of the countless dime pieces I see

around my complex and campus. What should I do? Like Chad, I'm an explorer and I try to avoid the comfortable easy route. Honestly, what would history be like if Columbus shacked up with some Betty right before his groundbreaking voyage across the ocean blue in 1492? I want to be legendary in terms of adventure, but at the same time, I don't want to squander my opportunities in the woman frontier, you know? Generally, Mormon girls are kind-hearted, fun, and disease-free. Sometimes I wonder if I'd be happier finding a solid Sally and settling in for the long haul, as these late-night NCMOs are getting old. Should I look for Mrs. Forever? Like Rascal Flatt says in that one song, God bless the broken road and meanless make-out

sessions that led me straight to you. I like that song. In summation, do I search for love at a time when ladies are abundant in my life, or do I seize the opportunity of adventure as much as I can while I'm young and low on responsibility? Thanks in advance, my dudes. Your Mormon bro, J-Rig. Dude, J-Rig. Epic, dude.

I love this dude. Epic, dude. Dude, look. You know what? To quote another song and paraphrase and switch up the phrasing a little bit, dude, but you know what? Look, man. Your life, your love, and your lady is the sea that's brandy looking glass circa 1970-something. Dude, your lady may just be the land, my dude.

You know what I'm saying? It sounds like you want to go out and have some adventure, and it's not like these young ladies are going anywhere. I know it's the Mormon culture to get married young, like you want to go out and have some adventure and it's not like these these young ladies are going anywhere i know it's the mormon culture to get married young like you're saying but dude go enjoy yourself and you know what maybe sooner rather than later you get super horny dude and then you know you come back with a hard rock super hard rock dude an adventurous rod and yes but dude go live a little bro yeah my my thought during all this was like dude you got you've got that yearning for adventure you want to go seek out new things you want to go discover

new land maybe go to mars or some shit i'd go for it dude and then just i wouldn't uh you know whatever life throws your way maybe along your adventures you meet that special someone you know i i think you'd'd probably feel resentful if you stayed back, ignored your adventurous urges to look for a wife right now. Yeah, I do think you'll always wonder what if, you know what I mean? And it seems like his bliss is the road right now,

so you gotta follow that. And so yeah, I would encourage you to, you know, there's always gonna be a little bit of wondering if you're doing the right thing, but it sounds like he's pretty sure that the outdoors is where it's at for him right now so dude fucking get after and he's in a good area for it nothing better than yellowstone and jackson hole dude if that's your steez yeah i love that it's right there in your backyard dude yeah convenient cost effective dude that's a freaking dank journey might you enough what you guys are

thinking about going out to uh yellowstone or maybe the uh um what's the grand canyon dude yeah you had a thought what were you gonna say you look stuck i'm sorry i was gonna say though is it more complicated though because he's from the church of latter-day saints for sure people there like maybe his dating pool would be like hugely reduced if he comes back at like oh yeah but aren't yeah what happens like there's other 25 year old chicks when you're, there's other 25-year-old chicks when you're 30, there's other 30-year-old chicks. Right,

yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Pretty much what would happen is you'd be missing your class of chicks. He's gonna miss,

yeah. But then you're a cool older dude when you come back for it and you scoop a new, you scoop like a 25-year-old latter-day bunny, dude. Sorry to say bunny right there,

dude, but this guy likes nature. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That's what's up. Sometimes when I get excited, I say bunny, dude dude my gf green lit me saying that phrase sometimes in certain contexts and when i'm with the boys i can say it a little bit dude but i don't mean to offend dude dude sounds like sounds like this guy's on the path to becoming the matthew mcconaughey

of his squad yeah you know like mcconaughey in that one movie where he bangs younger chicks yeah it's most of them oh yeah dude yeah oh yeah dude like those lincoln commercials dude that's what i'm wondering who is that guy in a lincoln is he a courtesy car driver like he's got a link he's got too dank of a house to be the driver but he drives himself in a car that like that's like an uber black you know what i mean it's like an uber xl suv and he's like the most like, who is that guy? Yeah, I think he is the coolest. He's either an assassin.

Town car driver. Yeah, he's the coolest town car driver or an assassin. Yeah, I think they cut it when the end of the commercial, it floats to the back and there's just some confused passenger. Dude, yeah, dude, exactly. They're like, oh, you're supposed to make a left like one minutes ago. That was a beautiful monologue. Sit in there, dude.

Yeah, but I live six blocks that way. Wait, is this a pool? Yeah. Won't be long. Gold. Dude, I picture that dude wearing shorts all year round, by the way. I don't care if it's winter. That dude's in shorts and he's got jacked calves.

That's all I'm saying. That guy has got jacked calves. Cargo shorts? Bro, taupe cargo shorts, dude. Wool socks. All right, this one's from alexandra hamilton hey bros i'm a huge fan of the pot i love you guys thank you currently i'm struggling to make a three-pointer with my dogs at the y they totally take me to school with all my layups i'm starting to get the feeling that they actually just want to graze against my rack

i am a 34 double d and they are quite big i try to cover them but it's inevitable should i ditch the b-ball squad and become a feminist with pepper spray for anyone who's trying to touch my rack thanks bros no dude you got every right to be out on that court yeah dude i love that you're balling and bros you know what you're doing dude unless she's down low in the paint dude you know or on the low block play the passing lane you know don't hand check this isn't the 90s use your feet fellas yeah just use your feet yeah get into good defensive position know, don't hand check. This isn't the 90s. Use your feet, fellas. Yeah. Just use your feet. Yeah. Get into good defensive position.

Don't be grazing up where you don't need to be. Dude, that's a freaking foul. Yeah, don't do unnecessary posts. And you know what you got to do, too? If they get up in your space, the most effective move in basketball, the freaking head fake. Head fake one time. Head fake one time.

Go to the left. Two dribbles hard to the freaking iron, dude. Just finish. Take the foul. Doesn't matter, dude. Get it done. Let them know you better respect my space or I'm taking go to the left, two dribbles hard to the freaking iron, dude, and just finish, take the foul, doesn't matter, dude. Get it done. Let them know you better respect my space or I'm taking it to the fucking rack, pun intended, dude. Sorry.

Freaking love puns. I love that. The rack is also the goal hoop in basketball for those who aren't familiar. Mike GF Green let me say some puns, dude. She wouldn't appreciate that one, dude. But once again, I'm with the boys, and I've had a little bit of whiskey tonight, dude. No ice, but a little bit with my dog. Did you drink some? Yeah, I took a little sip. I'll take another sip.

Oh, dude, cheers, dude. Alright, we got Ethan. What's up, Chad and JT? Huge fan of the pod. Anyway, there's been something taking my stoke way down. I'm a junior in high school, and I'm 80% sure my parents are going to get a divorce. I know both of you have had parents that split up, and I was wondering how you guys managed to keep your stoke levels up during these trying times

any coping mechanisms or ways to maintain my chill even though i'm upset would be great keep up the good work on the pod love you both uh thank you for uh writing in dog thanks dude um well first i think he said he's 80% sure they're going to divorce. So I wouldn't, uh, you know, start equipping yourself for how you're going to handle it until you're, you know, it's happening, you know what I mean? Cause it's going to be a lot of hard feelings that it's dredging up and, and you, and it might not benefit you cause they might stay together. So, um, yeah, just, just try to detach a little bit from from thinking about how it's gonna end all the time if you can and then ways to keep your stoke up when it

happens are I mean like just it has nothing to do with you I mean like it doesn't like it's not about you yeah it's problems they're having yeah invest in yourself yeah do sprints do guided meditation yeah talk to a friend dude you know what is it 50 50. he might be 16. it might be tough to do guided meditations at 16. they're on youtube that's true i do them all the time shout Shout out to Eric Ho. And, dude, if you have a good hill in your neighborhood, I suggest you just do sprints up that hill, build calf muscles, build a fast twitch while getting some good cardio in. Yeah, dude, I mean, it's going to be tough, dude.

My parents are also divorced. A lot of people's are. I'm sure some of your friends are. Talk to them. See how they've reacted. Just talk about it with your crew. Yeah, maybe splurge. Ask your parents to splurge on some therapy for you yeah my my my divorce when i was like four or five so i don't really remember but i think as a baby i was like in my mind i'm like just stay stoked let's just keep watching saturday morning cartoons

um stay stoked on the power rangers um keep watching lion king cartoons. Stay stoked on the Power Rangers. Keep watching Lion King, and you'll get through this, dog. And it does suck. Like, when my parents put up, like, I was out of high school, but I was like, this sucks. You know what I mean? You're like, oh, we don't get to, like, do freaking holiday dinners together anymore and stuff like that. But you know what?

My parents still do them once in a while. So it's like you kind of don't know what's going to happen. True, dude. So you will get through it. You'll get through it. It'll be tough. You'll have to see your parents argue a little bit. Look, if your mom was freaking Mother Teresa and your dad was the pope, they'd argue about the money.

They're going to. It's how it goes. Don't take it personal. It's just going to happen. You know? But, dude, yeah, it's not your fault. In fact, my parents got divorced when we were adults. And it's so not

kids false that i jokingly said to my adult brother who was like 20 at the time i was like oh matthew this was definitely your fault dude and it's just ridiculous like you can say it you immediately joke about it you know it's you just gotta find the silver lining of sometimes humor and maintain your stove and dude they might you know when my parents split it was for the best they're a lot happier split up yeah so it a good thing is the home situation might actually get a lot better dude true dude yeah and you could you could look at being like grateful for the pain in a sense because it's like you you have this experience in your life now and it makes you much wiser and much more able to handle pain in the future, you know?

So just like when you feel that pain, just be like, oh, this is life. Like I'm feeling life. You know what I mean? I try to do that. It's hard. Yeah. But I try to have that mindset when I'm going through like, you know, pain. Yeah. No, for sure.

Drew Starr, dude. And yeah, and then we were talking about today like it's um you'll be good for a while and then like you it'll come in waves and you'll be bummed but it's waves dude like the water will calm again yeah all right gary dear chat and jt i have an extremely urgent situation that i need advice on first off i'm a huge fan of the pod you guys are such bright personalities and aspire to keep your positivity every day so there's a bro that's kind of in our circle of friends. Lately, none of us have hung out with him due to his reckless behavior, but still love him because we all grew up together. There was a drug bust in our town.

Over 30 people we went to school with got arrested for various drug charges, adding up to $40,000 of contra. Holy shit, we found out that the past eight months he was wearing a wire and he was the one who got all those boys locked up. The source of evidence is valid. Just know that. Should we disown him? He has been lying to us this whole time and putting us at risk as well. wire and he was the one who got all those boys locked up the source of evidence is valid just know that should we disown him he has been lying to us this whole time and putting us at risk as well what is the right thing to do man dude this is scary wow why did he start wearing a wire i think the cops probably nabbed him and then they were like you'll do more time if you don't wear a wire oh shit dude this is like that made me like paranoid i'm like are you guys wearing wires not dude never dude freaking loyalty my dudes no wires it's like

loyal this is like like a riverdale episode directed by scorsese dude that's a joke for my gf dude that's a joke for a lot of people thank you thank you but dude seriously that sounds like a script but uh they must have had something on this guy, dude. Yeah, so how do they respond? I think, yeah, you're allowed to disown him. Because here's the thing, there's going to be a natural, like you don't have to punish him. He's going to get punished by, or maybe he won't. He's not going to get punished by the law.

How old is he? He flipped. Because he flipped. Yeah, I think you probably got to disown him. Yeah. At least for as long as, however long those people have to go to, I think you probably got to disown him. Yeah. At least for as long as... However long those people have to go to jail is how long you have to disown them.

He has to serve as much time in friend exile as they do. Dude, I'm just caught up on the wire. Like, how many of my bros are actually wearing wires? My voice just cracked because I'm scared. Yeah, dude, no. Dude is visceral, dude. I mean, what if this guy is super chill, though, dude? I mean, he's probably not that chill because he wore a wire.

But, dude, if someone threatened you. Well, I mean, if your neighbor's, like, the nicest guy in the world, but you find out he's, like, murdering, you know, homeless people, you got to be like. Later. Yeah. It's tough, though, because I'm with you. I'm like, well, he's cool.

Yeah. But sometimes you do something uncool enough, it kind of scrubs away the more positive qualities. Very true. And this guy was what? What was they doing that had drugs and guns and stuff? I didn't see anything about guns, I don't think. Let me see.

We went to school with and got arrested for various drug charges, adding up to $40,000 of contra. Dang. Eight months wearing a wire. Holyra. Dang. Eight months wearing a wire. Holy cow. Damn. Eight months. That's got to be a weird experience.

Yeah. You're at high school rocking a wire. Yeah. That's taxing, dude. You're like, I'm going to not wear one of the school dance. They're like, you're wearing it. How many times do you think you watched The Departed? Oh, dude, you definitely have to watch The Departed for research, dude.

Yeah. Dude, we got Charlie here. Bros, I'm in a strange situation. Let me give you some background. Around freshman year of high school, me and the boys were together late night playing some cards and bullshitting. This one's very good. We decided to step things up and play some high-stakes card rounds. These high-stakes rounds had extreme consequences for the losers to make the game more interesting overall.

Things progressed until eventually one round was played with the high stake consequence being that the loser got their chest shit on now we are not animals or weirdos or anything and we established some ground rules ahead of time for this including the lights would have to be off and receiver would have plastic wrap on their chest so there was no direct content contact i'm somewhat of a gunslinger think brett farver patrick mahomes pat mahomes and i won out and didn't have to receive the package upon my chest. My friend named Howard lost and we started getting the crime scene ready. Because I had to poop, I decided I would deliver this package.

In the end, I gave birth to a nice Snickers bar right on this motherfucker. It was hilarious. This all occurred and was funny to me and we didn't think much of it. That was eight years ago. Now we're all college grads with real jobs and society as a whole has changed quite a bit. I'm still great friends with Howard and we often talk about how i shit on his chest many new friends don't really understand why we did this or think it's strange but i don't know how laughing with your boys could be strange to anyone can you please help me explain this to my

to new friends in a way that they can understand back then poop was really funny and cool but times are different now thanks for everything you do god bless america charlie dude i love this i think the uh it's too far of a leap to consider what happened like on this one night when you guys were obviously having some you know you know delirious fun evening i think there should be no equation to how society functions at on any level like about like how society's changed or anything like that dude like i think this is a very isolated group of bros doing a prank i'm all for it dude i love that you guys are all boys love that you're taking dumps love that you laid down ground rules for it although i would want lights on because i don't want you to miss and

like you know hit my dome or somewhere else like i want on the sheet i think the lights off is more for the guy taking the dump and honestly dude you're the one who set it all up so i think bad on you for wanting lights off dude if you're gonna drop a deuce on a dude's chest where the shame dude let people see your b-hole especially if it's your close boys dude they know you best and uh yeah dude i think it's great i think you don't even don't even bother about comparing it to how society's progressed i think any era in time this is a weird thing to do but i love it yeah in my view as long as everyone's laughing and having a joyous time i'm all for it dude and uh yeah you know props to him for acknowledging now he sees that you know some people might frown upon you know games involving doo-doo but you know i like this guy and i like that he

is proud of slicing a loaf on his dog and everyone's laughing yeah i don't think you can ever count on other people understanding what you're passionate about like sometimes you know there's people who love jazz music there's other people who just don't get it and i don't think the one side explaining it is going to get a lot of converts so i mean the fact that you and your friends love it is special enough so counting on other people to get it is maybe asking too much i also think though it can work to your advantage where like i've heard that um donald trump will often have people in his inner circle. He'll make them do things that he knows are different than what they believe

like publicly as a way to test their loyalty. They call it a loyalty filter. So you could use this in your own way. I mean much differently than he does. But when you talk to someone about this, it's a good way to gauge if they're your kind of person or not. Now I wouldn't use it because I think it's um different of a thing to use as a litmus test for most people but it's his jazz but when you get really it's his jazz but when you get really

close to someone you can put on that record and say you know listen to this um bebop about me shitting on a guy's chest and if they do get it you know you got a friend for life. Exactly, dude. Definitely. Exactly, dude. Yeah. I think, I love that you guys laugh about it still. Yeah. I think it brought them all much closer together than they would have been otherwise. Yeah. For sure.

I mean, we've all done dumb stuff at sleepovers with our bros. You know, we draw dongs on our bros' domes. I mean, you guys definitely went to a next level of that. draw dongs on our bros domes i mean you guys definitely went to a next level of of that but i think it's you know it's it's climbing

the uh you know debauchery uh and the higher the debauchery the higher the absurdity maybe the more intense the the connection after yeah i agree with that scale yeah that

curve goes like that dude yeah good call dude dude i have so many good memories involving like poo like in college my dog tommy laid a log in like a in like a big mega chalupa

and we lit it on fire on our buddy joey's doorstep one of my fondest memories that's magical yeah dude congratulations whatever brings the crew together as long as no one's getting hurt i'm all for it dude as long as you know everyone's on the same page that's great and the saran wrap was a good touch because yes it kept it in the realm of theater rather than genuine degradation. Great call, dude. I honestly am so fucking stoked at how you just phrased that right now, dude, and the jargon that came out right there.

The jargon, yes. So dang, dude. We got a question from Thick Jesus. What up? Question for Jayay as a recovering porn addict what do you think is okay to fap to what can i put in my spank bank that is not considered porn and won't feed an addiction um you know it's different for every person and i'm obviously not doing too great with my uh abstinence uh but it's it's better than it it's it's it's not it's it's a

harm reduction model it's a lot better but it could be a lot better um i would say anything that's thoughts is okay you know even if you get into kinky stuff if it's coming from your own brain i don't think it's gonna have the same impact as like real uh porn you know like outside visual stimulation so um i would uh i would i would stick to the brain realm i think you're always safe there you know if you float into a little bit of like uh without being too crude like uh you know lingerie model or something i think that's all pretty tame as well and isn't gonna uh adversely affect you when you're with other people but uh once you get past that if you have theely affect you when you're with other people but uh once you get past that if you have the mind for it and you're kind of susceptible to that

to looking at it too much then then you get into trouble for me at least that's that's totally where i'm at sound advice dude what do you what do you guys think is okay to fap too i think i like to use my mind um or just dank memories that's i guess that's my mind too dude what i would recommend fapping to is um if you have a girlfriend or anything like that dude just a nice dank memory that you have of you guys you know like a a good dinner dude you know what i mean dude i took my gf out to a nice italian dinner dude there were some amazing like homemade gnocchi and stuff dude and dude honestly we didn't even make love that night but dude just what the potential that was there that evening and the amount of love

that's i was gonna say that too like sick memories you know of like times i had snowboarding yeah snowboarding um i was gonna say going to disneyland but that's probably kind of weird huh it's weird as anything else i just i love being on rides you know this is from mj hey chad and jt i'll get right to it i'm 31 and was bullied in middle and high school years later i need to let go as this shit still has been on my mind i'm at a point now in life where i realize that wishing ill will and negative vibes to the guys who bullied me is not good for me, my psyche or anyone else. I can't get stoked or move on to a higher state of consciousness to get further stoked. If I'm dwelling on this shit from the past, I have identified seven guys in total who have hurt me.

I've reached out to four of them and told them I forgave them and asked for their forgiveness as well, because I'm far from perfect. The first four have been open to receiving my request of forgiveness and I've started the process of healing I am so thankful it has been so cathartic and healing to do this but it is draining as well I have three more guys to reach out to it means so so so much to me if I knew that you guys supported me on this journey I'm asking for your support in any sage wisdom you have thank you for giving me a reason to smile encouraging me to make the world around me stoked so i kind of got lost there he's he's reaching out to people who have bullied him and he's talked to four of them and they were down to talk about it and there was like a good conversation around it and there's three more and he just wants to know that uh we

support him okay fully yeah bro dude freaking benjamin franklin said dude hold on to a grudge is like drinking a vial of poison and expecting the other person to die dude it's only gonna eat at you dude not the other person um so good on you for letting go of it and working towards it with these other three dudes dude i mean their level of comfortability is a factor and maybe these guys are more bottled up late in their life. So if they're open to talking about it, great. If they aren't, dude, you know, respect them on that. And, you know, come from that position.

Don't look at it like, oh, I only got six. I didn't get all seven. I've failed. It's like, nah, dude, you tried. Those dudes were open. Go enjoy your life, my dog. Good on you for trying, even if those guys never get back to you.

Yeah, it's a noble thing to do. And I think it's's healthy and you just got to not be connected too much to the response i mean obviously if you get a good response that's all the better but at minimum you're doing a good thing so if they don't have it in them to come address it you don't want to be like codependent with them yeah again because i don't think that'd be great for you. So just keep pushing, dude. Yeah. Yeah, props to him for taking the high road. Yeah. For sure, dude. Chad, are you ready, my dog? Yes, sir.

Who is your babe of the week? My babe of the week is Sway Lee. Nice. The rapper. Is he more of an R&B singer? Yeah, I'd put him like, yeah. The R&B singer. Dudes, we met Sway Lee a couple weeks ago.

Our buddy Andrew hooked us up with the Valentino event. So we were living large there, rocking the same Hawaiian floral print. And just, you know, said, hey, we're a couple of dudes who have a close bond. And we're going to show that with our attire. And we met sway lee and dude this guy was just dominating from the get-go he was rocking a denim jacket jeans no shirt underneath and he was rocking it harder than anyone it looks like he was born with it on yeah i'm like i'm like dude that is the only dude who can like pull that shit off i didn't know who he

was and i asked her a mutual friend we went in there i was like dude who, that is the only dude who can pull that shit off. I didn't know who he was, and I asked her a mutual friend. We went in there, and I was like, dude, who the hell is that? He's like, oh, dude, that's Sway Lee. He's like a giant star. I was like, what? And then after we met him, I listened to his music. It's amazing. Fire. Fire.

Sunflower. Dude. Fire. Dude, his voice is fucking just makes you just go, what, dude? It's stoke-inducing. Dude, if I had that voice, I wouldn't wear a shirt ever, dude. 100%. That voice earns you no shirt. You skip shirt and wear a shirt ever, dude. A hundred percent. That voice earned you no shirt.

You skip shirt and go straight to jacket, dude. Yeah. And dude, we approached him and he was just, he was dancing and having a good time. Life of the party. And we were like, JT's like, dude, we're activists for the choral. And he's like, it's in trouble, huh? He knew. He's like, I'm all on board.

I want to fix the choral. You're so right, dude. It took us 10 seconds to explain it and to ask for a video. He could have digested that for a couple minutes. Right away, he's like, I get it. Let's shoot it. Yeah. I'm here.

I'm here and I'm ready to help. So I just want to give a shout out to Sway Lee, dude. You had freaking babe moves that night and I'm sure every night. And I want to give you props for your fire voice. Keep doing what you're doing dude and uh thank you for supporting the coral slightly strider who is your legend of the week dude my legend of the week has got to be my gf dude honestly bro i put out a video about this i was so freaking amped on it dude she freaking is putting subtle holiday your babe of the week yeah that was your babe of the week huh dude chad who was that your babe of the week yeah okay oh dude but don't worry dude because my babe of the

week's also my gf dude oh no dude it's it's chill i mean i can do them both back to back right now my freaking babe of the week. I started with Legend. My GF's the legend of the week because of the way she did dank holiday decor in my apartment, dude. She made it subtle. I walk in, it's freaking joyous and freaking jubilant, dude. And it's been very, very fun, dude. And for that reason, for sparking joy, dude, she is my freaking legend of the week. Okay?

But, dude, she's also my babe of the week because when we were buying our christmas tree dude i'm not gonna lie to you my girlfriend of course i find attractive dude and guess what dude so did the dude working at the christmas tree lot and i couldn't find the easy to use christmas tree stand dude and she went up dude not trying anything dude not putting on any feminine wiles nothing dude just going up genuinely asking this dude, hey, where's the good Christmas tree stand? Boom, he found it for her instantly, dude. He quit vaping, helped her out, found that stand, dude. And I freaking, that's just straight up babe status right there, dude.

Getting that done, dude. Finding the dank stand. Otherwise, dude, I would have had to use screws and stuff and, like, figure things out, dude. That tree was up lickety split when we got back in the apartment, looked freaking nice dude so it was dank dude babe and legend for really just bringing christmas joy i love it she's wonderful stoked my babe of the week is um graham i think did you shout out graham one time as as one of the things no no oh dude long overdue he's a great guy i'm giving him babe of the week status this week because we've been working out together

for the last couple of weeks and it's been really motivating, I think on both sides. And we've just been pushing each other and hitting it. And then we took it to the next level on Friday. We did legs on a Friday afternoon. We were like, dude, everyone's tired, but we're going to do legs.

And then we were in the gym, banging out some squat sets. And then I wanted to take it easy with some jumping lunges, burn it out quick. But he was like, no, we need to do step ups with pretty significant dumbbells. We start doing those. I'm going through my reps. And what does Graham start doing? He starts giving me a motivational speech out loud in the gym. He's like, come on, do you want it? Then come on, show me you want it. Don't quit. And I was like, I can't believe he's being so loud. I was like, this is sort of embarrassing. And I was like, it is embarrassing.

And that's the point. And then I banged out some extra reps. And it was all due to his fucking lack of shame and his ability to just be like, you know what? We're trying to be badass. And sometimes you're going to look goofy on that road. But we're going to walk it together. And so thank you, Graham, for – and, you know, you're a babe because your body is looking nice. And I'm already seeing some fucking nice gains.

I mean, you were already in good shape when we started. But it's only nice, and I'm already seeing some fucking nice gains. I mean, you were already in good shape when we started, but it's only getting more fine-tuned. And yeah, dude, I look forward to more sessions with you. That's so legit, dude. Having a bro to get your back while you're lifting, I freaking love that, dude. Amped. I mean, dude, with your technique, you don't need much help. Dude, I mean, sometimes it's nice just going there and know what you're doing, dude.

And dude, I'm not going to lie, dude. Sometimes I look look around and i'll notice some people look at me they see my form they go this guy knows they know i was with you at the gym one time when a guy came over and saw you doing hand cleans it was like here you an athlete because he could just tell from like the way you were uh stomping your feet dude i was firing my hips through dude activating my core dude that's to transfer a freaking energy from your lower quadrant aka your glutes and your quads and your hammies dude the core of your energy through the core of your actual core which is your abs into the upper body dude hang clean and jerk phenomenal lift give me a kiss dude yeah jargon dude fucking lifting jargon i get jacked on that dude although i'm pretty slender in life dude

i thought you guys were going to kiss. Dude, I mean. It's happened before. I might have to fap to that conversation we just had later, dude, because I'm freaking amped on it. Dude, you had another thing to fap to. I think that's in the okay to fap to category for me. If you want to fap to me.

Speaking of jargon, I never say fap. This is the first time I've ever said fap in my life. I don't say fap either. Me neither. That's not from our region of the world. No disrespect to the people who say fap out there, but I think out in California, we really know how to talk about masturbation.

Exactly, dude. Whacking off. J-O. Jacking off. Cranking it. Oh, dude, that's my favorite. I like wailing on myself. I was wailing. It sounds like you're punishing yourself favorite i like wailing on myself yeah wailing like it sounds like you're punishing yourself i was mad i was wailing on myself go home and i'm a fucking animal

dude i was wailing on myself jesus christ put my dick through the ringer i'm a savage dude i'm a savage dude being hyper alpha about jacking off dude you don't even know i went home sprayed the ceiling sprayed it dude i was so frustrated from work dude i just came home and just fucking showered everything dude dude give me 20 minutes on the youth theater i gotta drill myself gotta drill myself real quick then yeah for sure i'm down for shake shack fap dude yeah that's chill yeah fap is so uh elementary yeah i'm surprised you can even come dude talking about you're not allowed to look at big big daddy porn and take it a little bit more mature with your ground game. You've got to talk to your dick better than that, dude.

It's going to hear you. Drink that. All right, Chad, who is your legend of the week? My legend of the week is Liquid nitrogen nice dude liquid nitrogen um yeah jt and i did some cryotherapy today really worked on our bods got us cold and just rejuvenated our muscles and just like got full flow and circulation our bods blood was flown we got down to like negative probably a thousand degrees i don't even know because liquid nitrogen helped us do that so i want to give a shout out to liquid nitrogen for helping with that cryotherapy baby because i you know endorphins

were running i got cold and uh my bod said thank you dude dude i felt exhilarated afterwards and i went in skeptical. I was like, I don't think this is going to do anything. I think this is woo-woo. I came out of it being like, how many times a week am I allowed to do this? Yeah. I thought we were actually going to be frozen. I'm like, sweet.

You know, like Walt Disney. But no, they just make you super cold and rejuvenate yourself. You went into that so fearlessly. Like, you're like, yeah, we're going to be frozen. I was like, that terrifies me. You're like, no, it's's worth it it's better that way well i think because they call it the cryo cafe so i'm like oh they're so cash you know so like it's a freaking cafe dude you know they're just gonna freeze you and then you know

if you want just going for a day and then next day you know wake back up tom cruise and vanilla sky baby that is an interesting combination of vibes yeah cryo and cafe yeah what about a cryo cat cafe dude play with some cats get frozen enjoy a nice espresso so we already did your legend of the week can i give an honorable mention dude yeah freaking robert dude when i was leaving work dude he was so dank quitting my job dude he gave me the necessary steps for my future to build myself freaking being responsible dude getting haircuts dude jt's face dude if you ever want to know the sound of not enjoying a shot yeah dude that's it dude you didn't you didn't really just but dude respect. You didn't really just toss that down the gullet.

You were savoring it. Dude, I fucking hate the taste of booze, but I just love being drunk. Dude, I love feeling good always. Dude. So yeah, Robert, you're just being a dank legend, dude. Chill shift manager for the most part, dude. So yeah, dude. Setting me up for giving me a strong foundation to become a future leader, dude, I hope.

Dude, my legend of the week? Condoms. Dude. Here's the thing. I used to think condoms were lame. I didn't think they felt as good, and I didn't really think STDs happened that much. I thought they were kind of just like, like you had to be really stupid to get one, I thought.

Yeah. You know? But then one night, I was out and about on a lot of Adderall, and I struck up a conversation with a charming young lady and convinced her

to come back to my place. And she took a shower, and we walked around the block a couple times, and then we made love. Nice. With a condom. Smart.

Because I didn't know her that well. Good call. And then we were kicking it, and she started telling me about how she was into magic, you know, black magic, and how she was sort of living out of her car. And I was like, all right, you know, she's kind of living a harder life. You know what I mean? For sure. I should probably be careful. careful but then we had sex again and this time i didn't wear a condom and then um i found out after that that magic talk got to you that she had been let out of a psych ward and then i told my brother to text me and say you need to ride to the airport and i

relayed that information to her and and she called me a liar. And she locked herself in my bathroom. I asked her what she wanted. She said, get my car, because it was parked in my garage. I'm leaving. So I pulled the car out, came back. I was like, hey, I'm so sorry about all this. Like, I hope we're good.

And then she was really mad, and she left. Then she sent me a video, five videos of her having sex with a lot of different guys, and it was gnarly sex. She was tied up. Some of them, there was dildos involved. All the guys were tattooed. Every single one of the guys was heavily tattooed in every one of the videos. I don't think they were wearing condoms. At first, I thought she sent that to me to arouse me because she figured I had a dirty mind and that would excite me.

But then I reflected on it more, and I realized she sent that to me to scare me me you know to make to because she figured i had like a dirty mind and that would excite me but then i reflected on it more and i realized she sent that to me to scare me that i had an std and for a couple weeks i was um not thinking about it actually i kept partying but then i saw the movie philadelphia where tom hanks has aids and i was like oh my god i might have aids and i you you were with me during this period, Chad. I was sick every night. I was vomiting. I couldn't sleep. I gained so much respect from Magic Johnson. Just like he didn't have to come out and say he had AIDS. He could have just retired from basketball, said it was personal.

You know what I mean? But he took on that burden and he refused to be stigmatized. And in the process, he helped a lot of people. I don't think, if I would have had it i wouldn't have told anybody i would have just fucking told a couple people maybe you know not been boning you know and uh i'm okay i'm good but condoms great call they're good dude i love it because dude i met some stokers the other night we were together and they were like dude fuck condoms fuck condoms and i was like bros you're not gonna be saying fuck condoms when you get something even if you just got herpes for the

rest of your life it's not a bad it's not the worst thing you'd be fine you live a great life but better to avoid it if we can how do we do that robbers dude good call does it feel as good nah dude but you know it feels better peace of mind dude dude how about some peace of mind you could freaking fap to peace of mind yes sir you can fap to peace of mind because when you've been on the other side and you're scared you know i was in playing printer i was like tell me i don't have something they're like sir you potentially had sex with a sex worker unprotected it's very likely you have something that sucks i was like motherfuckers dude just be my parents and tell me it's all right they can't tell you that dude you know what can tell you that wearing a wearing a

fucking dote on your dude good call dude you gotta wear dude quick little run on jargon for rubs. Hit it. Mushroom hat. Raincoat. Rubbers. Ribbed for her pleasure. Magnum P.I.s. Bone cone. Did you just come up with that one?

Bone Cone? Yeah. It was somewhere in my opera. I probably heard it from some genius in my past. Dude, Bone Cone is amazing. I like that one. Bone Cone. There's probably a million more we don't know.

Hold on. Let me put on this Bone Cone. Jimmy Hat, dude. Dude, Jimmy, of course. Jimmy Hat's a nice one. Dude, that was beautiful, dog. Dude, my Beef of the Week is with with poetry because i'm a suck at it oh dude i've been trying to write some poetry about this uh girl i've been hanging out with lady um britain she's super cool her name's britain yeah dude and she's like different than

anybody else i've met you know and uh it's been really uh cool getting to know her and stuff and she's just kind of someone who inspires poetry in you. So I'm going to read some. That you wrote? Yeah. Dude, I love this. Dude, you're going to share some poems right now? Hell yeah.

Yeah, dude. Dude, nice. She lives her life like a story. She bounces from conversation to conversation, leaving people believing in magic. She stands out in a room. She never tells the same truth twice twice i hope she's more than a story to me that's it dude that's the first stanza that's all i can get out dude that's

beautiful dude honestly dude well first and foremost thank you for sharing your creativity with us dude yeah hey dude dude i have a good aaron did you like that poetry aaron are you noticing a theme in jt's uh love life of magic dude that first chick that he had that night with brought up magic he brings up magic in this poem i do sometimes think i romanticize love too much where it has to be in the realm of like the unexplainable like it has to be beyond like normal you know what i mean and that's probably not the healthiest way to approach it you know what i mean but And that's probably not the healthiest way to approach it. You know what I mean?

But my dad told me he's the same way. That for him, it's like he either, like, he likes people who are too passionate because everybody else to him feels, like, dead. And so maybe the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Aaron, any feedback on the poem? Okay. That's what's up. To thinker, dude.

Dude, yeah. You're like, who is this mysterious lady? Her name's Britain. Did she let you call her UK? For sure. Aw, dude. Freaking messing with you.

Aw, dude. Aw, dude. Aw, dude. Aw, dude. Did she let you call her? Dude, when I'm with her, it does feel like a United Kingdom. Dude. Dude. Wow. Boom, boom, dude. Aw, dude. Did she let you call her? Dude, when I'm with her, it does feel like a United Kingdom. Dude.

Dude. Wow. Boom, boom, boom. A little bit of a blue joke, but in the same vicinity. I'm messing with the words still. This is a bad joke. Did you get between the aisles? British Isle.

No, we haven't actually really okay so i like this and she influenced you to write this poem yeah well dude i mean it's hard not to when like i'm just on this roller coaster ride yeah do you sell the english channel thank you that's was that good freaking done she was at her she was at her show at the hollywood improv in the audience and like i saw her i was like whoa whoa, who's this? She stood out. And then I was like. Yeah, she did stand out. And then a guy was talking to her.

I was like, oh, that guy's probably with her. But it turned out they weren't. He just wanted to talk to her, too. And then afterwards, she came up and grabbed my hand and said, good set. I've been waiting my whole life for someone to do that. That's amazing. Yeah. And so it's been a nice thing hanging.

And I'm bad at it. I'm bad at poetry. No, dude. There is no bad. No, there's bad. Yeah, dude. I mean, there's bad art. But this is. No, dude, there is no bad. No, there's bad. Yeah, dude, I mean, there's bad art, but this is modern poetry, dude. This is free form. There are no rules. You don't have to rhyme. There's no stanzas.

Perhaps people might say there's no craft. But you know what, dude? If you're feeling creative and you're doing it, you're having a nice time. I'm not saying your poem has no craft. No, that is what you meant, dude. I think you're right, dude. I'm saying modern poetry. Dude, you gotta call it like you see it, bro. I'm not gonna get better at poetry if you don't tell me, dude.

Dude, you just gotta keep writing. But what I wanna say is all stokers should take a page out of JT's poem book, dude. And when next time your bros are having beef and you wanna take to social media, take to Microsoft Word or text edit on your MacBook

and write some motherfucking prose, dude. Dude, because I was gonna blow her up with text messages and instead I just wrote some poetry. Boom. You know what I mean? Great move. Great move, dude. Great move. move dude and artistic dude dude dude one time my gf and i got a little tiff dude and i'll tell you right now dude what i did that i went and saw a freaking alfonso coron movie which

one dude gravity this was recent dude roma dude roma phenomenal amazing masterpiece on dude yeah dude unreal dude dramatic dude I mean like you're watching that dude and you're like this is the human experience up on screen I was gonna say the exact same it's unreal dude

and Roma I learned is uh it's an area of Mexico City it's like a borough of Mexico City right Roma

dude great movie dude yeah dude and she probably like since you didn't blow up with those text messages she probably like doesn't think that you're like

over eager she's just like damn like oh she knows I'm over, she probably doesn't think that you're over-eager. She's just like, damn. Oh, she knows I'm over-eager. But little does she know that you're just like a frigging poet busting out frigging poetry. She's your muse, dude. That's what I'm doing. It's beautiful.

But I did text her a lot. Yeah. All right. Well, she's your muse, dude. Britton, I hope you hear this. All right, dudes. What about our quotes of the week? Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. Dude, are you guys ready for one or should I slide in? Dude, I'm ready, but slide in whenever you are. Oh, if you're ready, my dog. All right, dude. I'm going to fire this off right now. Hit it. I'm going to fire this off, dude hit it i'm gonna fire this off dude

and i'm not being braggy or name dropping dude but before i left benihana dude um we would do lineups dude and you know would go over what we're expecting for the day you know what groups are coming in if there's any groups or you know how many reservations or whatever just let you know gear up what's going on. Robert's letting you know. And then at the end, they end things with an inspirational quote, dude. So I'm going to take it from my last Benihana Shift inspirational quote during our morning breakdown was, dude, it was, and I'm going to paraphrase here. I'm not going to get exactly right, but it's,

surround yourself with people who challenge and inspire you and it will change your life actress amy poehler dude freaking two days later amy poehler rolls in dude usually i don't say anything to anybody dude i go ma'am freaking we have morning breakdowns i explain the quote thing i deliver the quote then i say actress amy poehler and she goes thank you very much that made my day and i go that's freaking dank, dude. Dude, that's so legit that you approached her and gave her that nugget, dude. Usually I never would because, dude, so many times when we approach somebody at fame or stature.

It's about us. What can you do for me? It's about us. And I wasn't even being that. This kind of was still for me a little bit. I was like, I'm stoked off this. I'm gaining stoke. But the ratio is better.

Better ratio. Dude, great call. Dude, back to ratio again, dude. Dank, dude. And also ratio, great ratio again, dude. Dang, dude. And also ratio, great jargon, crosses many fields, dude. Fucking many fields. Partying, ratio. Fucking science, ratio, dude.

Fucking. All right, dude, my quote is from Momentum Generation, the documentary that we were talking about earlier. And it's from Tom DeLonge, who only has one line in the entire doc because his uh music was used to score some of the surfing films and it was the first time they integrated like punk rock as they called it and surfing and i guess it went together like peanut butter and jelly and uh this is what tom delong was saying about the music and i think also the surf scene

at the time it kind of relates to both because they're both like insurgent you know it's about all insurgent activity and art he says it was all about having a heart that is beating really fast and it's going to explode out of your chest if you don't make something out of yourself because you're driven to change how it was when you were younger dude what a smart neat encapsulation of all of blank 182's music and a lot of people's music and of like the extreme sports uh that came about in that era. And, you know, Tom DeLonge is a total nutbag now, or that's how we perceive him because of all of his crazy, because he's so obsessed, so fanatical about aliens.

Yeah. Angels and Airways ripped. But, you know, he still is capable of being smart and insightful about other stuff. He's not all just nutbag. That's just the part that we're seeing the most of. But he's still got some other arrows in the quiver. So thank you for nailing that bullseye with that quote, Tom. That's a great freaking quote, dude.

Great work, Tom. My quote is from The Santa santa claus with tim allen dude and it's uh you guys remember when those elves come out absolutely dude fight who's that actor that's in everything dude he's one of the elves yeah i don't know his name i love that guy he's in every he's in freaking 10 things i hate about you but go ahead sorry i'll know the actor it's uh we're your worst nightmare elves with attitude dude boom just because they're small just because they're santa's little helpers does not mean that they will back down in the fight they will fuck these cops up because they are elves with attitude. Size is just a thing. Because they will protect their dog.

100%, dude. To quote Good Will Hunting, you want to know why he's friends with those gorillas? Because if the drop of a hat in one of them would take like a baseball bat to you if he asked them to. Yeah. Great. Santa knows he's got that loyalty from those elves.

For sure. And vice versa. For sure. And dude, let's be honest. You're working long hours. This is the the north pole you're pulling holiday shifts holiday hours you're gonna have a little attitude dude yeah like just natural you know what i mean so you're freaking grinding hard you're gonna have some attitude for sure maybe a drinking problem hell a little eggnog you know hell yeah dude should we do our ads and then just call it dude

dude it's been a dang time is there any more meat on the bone anything else you guys want to say um i think we covered almost everything yeah freaking anything you want to say dude if she leaves is it brexit dude britain if she leaves that's genius dude