Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 56 - Alex Bregman Joins, Baseball, Squads
Episode Date: February 7, 2019What up stokers, we're beyond stoked to have Alex Bregman from the Houston Astros join us for this pod! We dive into how he preps for a game, some thoughts on baseball in general, and life with his ...squad. Dive in, stokers! Check out our patreon: www.patreon.com/chadgoesdeep
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the name like that he's horny what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in
with going deep and chad jt podcast i'm here with my compadre jean thomas what up boom clap stokers
and we're here joined by
Houston Astro, Alex Bregman. What up, dude? What up, guys? Thanks for having me. How's it going,
man? All good. Happy to be in LA. How's your time in Tinseltown been? What's Tinseltown? Is that
what they call it? That's what they call LA, yeah. Oh, well, I had no idea, but I love it. I love it
out here. Probably gonna end up living out here next offseason oh nice dude do you live in houston
for the offseason right now yeah right now i'm houston year round after we uh after we won the
world series in 17 i kind of just decided hey i'm gonna live out there full time now but yeah
back and forth between there and la this offseason so i've been getting accustomed to my new uh
new offseason home are you in montrose, or what part of Houston are you in?
I'm not in Montrose.
I'm in, like, Washington Heights area.
Nice.
Yeah.
Do you go to Barbarella's?
Never been, no.
What is that, a bar?
It's just the only bar I've been to.
Oh, no, I don't.
I try and stay out of the bars in Houston,
but occasionally I slip up and go out.
Nice.
Do you go out with other players uh not really uh occasionally after we
won the al uh ds or alcs some of the guys on the team will go after actually after we beat the
yankees in 17 we um we all went out um as a team like coaches ownership that's awesome it was fun
it was a blast who rages harder uh correa or altuve that's awesome. It was fun. It was a blast. Who rages harder, Correa or Altuve?
That's a tough question, judging by the fact that neither of them drink alcohol.
They don't drink?
No, neither of them.
Maybe like a glass of wine.
Maybe a glass of wine.
I think Altuve may have had a glass and a half once, so I'm going to go with him.
So he's a pretty dialed-in, focused guy.
Oh, yeah.
They're both super focused, always.
I feel like most of the guys on the team are that way.
But you got your guys on every team that like to go have fun.
Nice.
Yeah, we like that.
I've been slowing down lately, though.
I've just been doing like a glass of wine at night now.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Just like a casual glass?
Just get a cab and just be slow and quiet about it.
A cab?
Yeah, a cabernet. Nice. maybe a merbach or something like that verlander's our wine guy him and him
and him and dallas keiko love wine they get i don't know the thing i mean it's way out of my
price range for the wines but they taste good is it weird to like stand, stand next to Altuve? Yeah, because he's, like, the only guy in the big leagues that's my height.
So we're, like, we're, he's, I think he's, I think I got, like, five inches on him.
But, like, he's the next closest to me.
Right.
And there's, like, a bunch of guys that are 6'4".
Damn.
He's a little dude.
He's an animal, though.
Oh, yeah.
That guy makes contact.
All the time.
All the time.
We just signed Brantley, too.
He makes a ton of contact.
He's a good addition to the. Oh, you got Brantley? To the lineup. Yeah. We just signed Brantley, too. He makes a ton of contact. He's a good addition to the line-up.
Oh, you got Brantley?
Yeah, we just got Brantley.
Nice.
Probably going to win another World Series this year.
Dude, I love the confidence.
I love it.
I heard on Yahoo Sports you were on a podcast there,
and they said that they talked to managers and players,
and they said you were the most confident player in the major leagues.
Really?
Yeah.
Hmm.
I don't know.
Maybe.
I might be.
I don't know. I don't know. Maybe. I might be. I don't know.
I don't know.
I get a lot of shit from it from mostly the fans that are from Boston, New York, and L.A.
Right.
Have you always been, like, super confident, or did you, like, work on that?
Growing up, I was pretty confident.
I think it's because my parents were always very confident in me. They like I'd tell them hey I want to play in the big leagues one
day and be like yeah you are you're going to and a lot of parents would be like hey you need to
have a backup plan you need to have a backup plan like I had no backup plan my parents were always
like yeah you're gonna do it we believe in you do you have siblings yeah I have a little little
sister who just graduated from Tulane and a little brother who's actually a freshman in college
playing baseball at the University of New Mexico right now.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
So he's following in my dad's footsteps.
My dad played in New Mexico, so hopefully the little bro.
My little brother sends me a text every day.
He's full of shit, but he says,
I'm going to get it to the big leagues one day.
I'm going to strike you out.
He said three pitches.
Do you guys hit off each other?
We have a little session planned,
but I had elbow surgery this offseason,
so we couldn't get it done.
But next offseason, I'll be facing him.
It'll be good.
We'll sell out the New Mexico baseball field
and raise some money for my charity.
Nice.
What was your charity focused on? It's called AB for Autism.
Yeah, my godson was diagnosed with autism when he was two years old. And what we do is we get iPads
and we put them in schools and put programs on them to help with communication. So my godson
was nonverbal. And through his iPad and through the programs on
his iPad, he started to talk more and more and more and started communicating. And we've really
just seen them help out so many kids. So we're trying to make an impact in the schools and
hopefully help as many kids as possible. That's awesome. That's great. Hell yeah.
Dude, I'm becoming a little bit more familiar with New Mexico. My mom just moved to Santa Fe fe okay so i've seen a little bit of albuquerque but uh mostly santa fe but i love it
there dude it's awesome it has i love how it has all four seasons yeah um i mean when i was growing
up now i can't do it anymore but uh because i broke my wrist when i was little little snowboarding
but um we used to my buddy tyler and I used to snowboard all the time.
We'd go up to Angel Fire, Santa Fe.
Loved snowboarding.
Used to compete in the half pipe a little bit when I was growing up.
Now, unfortunately, I'm not allowed to anymore.
Is that in the contract?
Yeah.
You can't do a lot of shit.
You can't skydive.
You can't, I mean, I think any extreme sport, you can't really do it.
You remember when jeff
kent said he broke his hand uh washing his car and then it came out a week later his neighbors
were like we saw him doing wheelies on his harley down the street his neighbors ratted on him i
would have been i'd have moved out of the neighborhood i don't know if it was his
neighbors but someone was like are you sure i saw him doing wheelies yeah some people some but they
cover it up good they cover it up good i don't i don't
like play basketball or do anything like that during the off season i try and just try and just
when i'm working out or doing anything athletic it's mainly just focused towards towards baseball
and stuff like that yeah what kind of workouts have you been doing lately uh we've been doing
some different ones we change we've been changing it up every off season since we were uh we started
in 2015 um with like a full
professional off season which is probably like i think four months or so five months
and we we changed it up we first started working out in albuquerque and we'd run hills we'd run
the sand dunes um i love hills yeah we oh they're they're they're a bitch they're so hard they're
so hard they're terrible it's good for
you yeah but at that altitude you can't breathe oh yeah so we'd be running in the we'd be running
up there in the mountains in the sand dunes i'll do and all that and then we'd uh we actually we
have a place called elevate where all of us have trained forever but there are some mma guys that
work out there i'm huge into mma i love it um is that Greg Jackson's camp? Yep. Yep. Jackson Wink. So
like one street down from me, John Jones lives there. Holly Holmes, ex-husband was my high school
baseball coach. So we've been, we've been real close. We've been, we've been family friends
forever. So I've been to countless of those MMA fights in the last two years and so much fun.
And we actually got to go in and train with, with holly and train with john and all them and john i was of course i was
talking shit like usual and i told john like let's go like me versus you in the ring and i was on the
ground in two seconds yeah he's pretty good and i was like all right i was kidding i was kidding i
was kidding let me up let me up immediately let me up immediately what's he like great dude yeah
he's he's awesome he's a
great dude he's on social media you just catch him and daniel cormier like going at each other
so hard like the shit they talk to each other is so savage yeah i love it i i'm i'm a big fan of it
i like i like uh i think it makes they sell a fight oh for sure and so that's why mcgregor's
my favorite i'm actually conflicted this week because Cowboy is living in New Mexico.
He was at Jackson Week.
Now he's got the BMF Ranch.
He's originally, I think, from Colorado, but he's been in New Mexico for a long time.
He trains at Elevate, where we train at, back home.
I'm kind of conflicted now when Connor and Cowboy are going to get after it.
Who do you think is going to win?
Let's stay standing.
Not too many people can take that left-hand shot.
Yeah, he's got that kiss of death or touch of death or something.
Yeah.
Dude, my beef of the week was going to be Jon Jones.
I'm going to change it now.
Really?
Yeah, because of the picogram stuff.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We can talk about that.
Okay, cool, cool.
Let's talk about that.
You guys are like homies.
Yeah, I mean, we've been to dinner a few times.
We worked out.
I appreciate it.
But John, to be honest with you, I saw some stuff that just came out that he passed lie
detector tests and everything.
Oh, really?
They went and the FBI came and did like, he's like, if I was lying, I'd be going to jail.
So I don't know it's kind
of it's kind of tough i don't i don't really know if he knowingly ever took anything right now yeah
he partied and went crazy and had had some yeah he said it was dick some mess up yeah some mess
ups in the past i don't i don't doubt it um i've taken dick pills so i should test myself and see
if i got turenna ball in my aobal in my... A few picograms?
Yeah, a few picograms in my system.
I've never taken one.
Dude, that's awesome.
I don't even know if we're allowed to.
I don't know if I'm allowed to take one.
That's performance enhancing.
I don't know.
Yeah, it's performance enhancing in the bedroom, but I don't know if you're allowed to even take it.
I haven't tried it.
Maybe when I'm retired.
Probably not.
Yeah, I don't recommend it.
It's dangerous.
Really?
Well, no, it's safe.
But, I mean, the psychological dependency,
I don't think it's healthy for your self-esteem.
The only story I have with that is one of my best friends,
his name's Blair.
He's hilarious.
Last offseason, we're hanging at the house,
and Blair's just talking trash to us, just nonstop,
just yelling at us.
We're playing video games.
He's telling us we suck.
Whatever.
Whatever.
Forget what it is.
So we're like, all right, Blair.
He's like, all right, I got to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.
I'm going to whoop y'all's ass.
We're playing Madden.
So one of our buddies had a Viagra, and we just ordered acai bowls.
Nice.
So they're purple.
I think it's like fruit, a bunch of stuff.
It's good stuff. Yeah, it's good for you. Like granola, fruit, strawberries, bananas. Oh, yeah purple it's like i think it's like fruit bunch of stuff like good stuff yeah it's good for you it's really granola fruit strawberries bananas oh yeah it's healthy coconut
shavings oh yeah and it tastes like that's how you taste amazing so we grab a viagra and we throw it
in the bottom of the acai bowl he comes back out he eats the whole acai bowl and he's like something
tasted funny in there we're like i don't know whatever he's like all
right i'm tired i'm going to bed y'all are y'all are terrible at this video games he wakes up
full sweat full blown rager fully loaded and he's like what's going on and we're like we're like how
is that acai bowl bro he's like uh what did you guys do and we're like you're getting some blood flow and he's like what did
you guys do we're like we put a viagra in there he's like he freaked out you gotta be kidding me
10 minutes later he's like let's go out to the bar that's what i was gonna say yeah as long as
you wingman him afterwards i think it's no harm no foul yeah he tucked it in his waistband he's
gonna go yeah so just stay like it just stays up for a while oh dude one time i was like when i was
like all nervous to lose my virginity i thought i had like first whole jitters with this girl
i took like a crazy dose and then it still didn't work because i was like being so hard on myself
but i couldn't sleep that night yeah because my hard-on was like ripping through my pants
i literally had to wear two boxers and jeans just to like keep it i spent the night at a friend's
place i was like in front of people so i had like four layers of clothes on to like strap this thing down you're sweating yeah nothing
could stop it yeah except for my self-esteem dude i wonder how much time he took to like assess the
situation before he asked you guys about it that is true what if you like wake up and you're like
damn i'm like a young virile dude yeah that a yeah he's awesome yeah dude it's from brazil right
yeah next day it's like everyone buy us this is from the amazon this stuff works great oh these
things he was freaking out he was he honestly was sweating and like panicking like searching on the
internet like what happens if i if i have a hard-on for more than four hours he was freaking out yeah
it's interesting that's probably the nicest way to drug someone if I have a hard-on for more than four hours. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was freaking out. Yeah.
That's interesting. That's probably the nicest way to drug someone.
It's like, because you could give them like,
yeah, it's like, dude,
I just gave you a hard-on for four hours.
Take that, bitch.
Dude, we just gave you a boner.
Never mind.
That sounded weird.
I had two questions.
I was first going to ask you
who do you think is the best MMA fighter on the Astros,
but then I was going to ask you who has the hardest boners on the Astros.
So you can answer whichever one you prefer.
A dealer's choice.
Best MMA fighter.
Yeah, that's right.
I'm going to go with best MMA fighter because I have no clue about your other question.
But best MMA fighter.
I think you know.
Best MMA fighter on the strohs i would go like uh one guy i would
not want to mess with it'd be ryan presley i don't think i know him he's he's our setup guy he's he's
one of the best relievers in the game now like high 90s fastball wipeout slider wipeout curveball
and like don't mess with him when he's on the mound too especially
like a switch flips and he's like locked in like he's gonna kick your ass dude i feel like closers
and setup guys are kind of often the nastiest dudes on the team at least they portray that way
when they come out for the ninth inning and they get their song on oh yeah like when eric gagne
used to come out and he's like dude this fucking guy could kill some people oh yeah i feel like a
lot of closers are that way and and honestly like if you look at what they have to do
like hey you have to get the final three outs of the game the toughest three outs of the game and
if you lose you'll get booed off the field and if you win and if you get the three outs you were
supposed to do that yeah so you have to have some a little bit of screws loose to be in the back end
of a bullpen and just like flip the switch on hey it's my time to go in let's get after it what do you
think about these teams like starting the closer to get like the first three out of the lineup
uh i'm not a big fan of it you think it's overthinking it a little bit well i just don't
think it i think i think doing that is just like kind of a little bit too much.
Just let your guys play.
Trust your guys.
And a lot of the guys, a lot of the reasons why they do it is because they don't have Justin Verlander, Garrett Cole, Dallas Keuchel,
Lance McCullers, and Charlie Morton on their staff.
They have Blake Snell.
You know what I'm saying?
Blake Snell is a young guy, and then they're like,
okay, well, if we could start Ryan Stanek like blake snell you know i'm saying like blake snell's a young guy and then they're like okay
well if we could start ryan stanek and get the the meat of their order out to start the game and
then we'll bring in um we'll bring in a guy to throw the next four innings we just got the meat
of the order out the beginning of the game fine but i don't know i'm just not a big fan of it i
don't think it i don't think it plays in the postseason really right i think you have to have
a dominant starting pitching in the postseason.
And I think that's been the trick for us.
And I think the Red Sox had dominant starting pitching last year.
And, yeah, it's huge.
Pitching is everything, especially in the postseason.
Yeah, that seems to be true.
Like the Diamondbacks that one year was just Schilling and Randy Johnson.
Nasty.
And they could go on, like, not that much rest oh yeah they were just bouncing back probably
toward all shots ready to rock is that what they're doing i don't know i have no idea
probably though well just don't feel anything just grip the ball and rip it are you a shilling
sock truther what does that mean you know some people when he got the bloody sock when he was
pitching for the red socks oh do i think do i think it was You know some people When he got the bloody sock When he was pitching For the red socks
Oh do I think
Do I think it was real?
Yeah some people think
He squirted ketchup in there
I don't know if he squirted
Ketchup in there
But
I don't know
I don't know if I believe
All that shit
I don't know
Don't believe what?
I don't know
What was he
What was the injury?
Didn't he tear something?
He had like a torn tendon
And he was bleeding
Into his sock?
Right
Like his skin broke
yeah how do you guys know no i don't i mean i was like i was a little kid when it happened so i was
like that seems cool he's a badass yeah but now in retrospect i'm like yeah i don't know many like
internal surgeries that lead to external bleeding yeah my surgery i didn't really have that much
bleeding on the outside of it.
I'm glad we talked about this.
Oh, yeah.
I think we figured it out.
Yeah.
Do you have, like, a sort of, especially on game day,
like a morning routine to sort of, like, prep you for the game?
Well, yeah, it's changed over the years, too.
It's been, it first started, like, wake up super early um try and go to breakfast and then just go immediately to the field at like 11 a.m and kind of be there for three hours when no one
was there and just kind of like kind of just relax and watch some video on the picture we're
gonna face the next day um until this year in like june and i was feeling a little tired like early in the year and
verlander actually came up to me he's like hey bro how much do you sleep at night you look tired
and i was like sleep like seven eight hours he's like bro you need to be sleeping 10 to 12 hours
i was like really he goes yeah so like the first two weeks of trying to do sleep 10 hours was like
sleep seven and then try and go force yourself back to bed and stuff like that so for
that first month i was working on it but probably june july um i was getting 10 hours a night
waking up at like 11 a.m eating breakfast hanging out with my friends family whoever's in town
um i always got a crew in town with me they're it's the best it's the best um hang out with them
eat some lunch and then go to the
field around like 1 30 and um performance skyrocketed since i started to sleep so i'm a
believer now and i i think i think every time i need some uh some advice on the staying healthy
staying on the field i always ask i always ask verlander he seems to know and he's like one of
those tom brady lebron guys that are getting better as they get older right yeah he's been doing it for so long he's been dominant for so long dominant i mean
he's won an mvp and then like this last year he's in the running for cy young again like
bet one of the best it's like 10 years in between or something like that
and him and him and kate just had a kid too so um now he's got his dad strength he'll be
he'll be ready to rock that kid's gonna be a handsome hard-throwing fucker no he's it's a girl it's a girl oh sorry well still still a beautiful hard-throwing nice
gal oh yeah yeah well i was i found it so interesting that when you first got into the majors
and you know you're highly touted you're the number two pick you're coming out of lsu
and then you were only in the minors for like a year but then you came in with a slump you were
like one of 32 but when i hear you talking about it like you didn't really you didn't perceive it
as like jitters or anything like that you just said your hands were in the wrong location you
just had to move your hands and it was such like a logical way to fix the issue but i wonder like
how many pro baseball players like don't ever realize that it's something simple like that and they stay
in a slump you know what i mean um yeah i mean when that first happened i got called up uh i
think it was like july 25th or whatever get called up on fire in the minor leagues like i just left
triple a i was hitting like 400 with nine homers in two weeks and i get called up and i'm like this
is going to be awesome i'm about to set the world on fire as soon as I get up and I get up there
and first game against the Yankees 0 for 4 next game against the Yankees 0 for 4 next game against
the Yankees 0 for 4 and I'm just like I'm still getting standing ovations every at bat because
the crowd's like excited that
i'm in in houston yeah but now i'm like what's going on i was just felt amazing like what what's
going on i got to get in there and get to work and figure out what i'm doing wrong so it goes on and
we go to detroit and i finally get my first hit like a bleed a bleeder just a dying quail over
the second baseman's head and like kind of took some of the weight off my
shoulders and i'm like fired up telling everybody like okay i'm gonna go on a tear i'm gonna go on
a tear now and come back home go one for my next i don't know 20 and it kind of brought me back to
a place where i was in college when my sophomore year i was like four for 40 when we first started
sec playing i was like i've been here before brought me back
to a place in college when i made an error to lose the first game of the college world series
brought me back to high school when i was like okay i got hit in the finger and um can't play
my entire senior year it just like all that stuff all the failures that i've had before kind of like
i was like okay i know i can get out of this i know i can find a way out of this just based on
the failures that i have before and overcoming them and getting back up when you
get knocked down. So in my head, I was always, I was always like, you know what, I'm going to find
a way out of this and I'm going to be, I'm going to be a good player in this league. So when that's
all going on, my family's like, my family's like freaking out there. They had, they had just as
much of a miserable time as I did through that stretch. But for like the last month or so, month and a half of the season, like you said,
we made one simple mechanical change and we kind of felt good again.
And baseball is that way.
You've got to continuously be making tweaks and changes
because your swing is always trying to get away from you.
So interesting.
Because what's it called, Steve Blass Syndrome?
Where like a guy gets like
the yips throwing the ball oh i don't even say that word i pray to god i'm sorry yeah i don't
want to bring i know baseball players are superstitious i don't want to bring that bad
juju into the room oh yeah i i ate pizza um cheeseburgers and and drank coca-cola and power
aid that's the only that's all i drank and ate for the whole last season.
No way.
Come on.
Well, now I changed.
I had to make a change.
I talked to Verlander.
We hired a chef.
She cooks amazing food.
Lauren, you're amazing.
Yeah, it's been a game changer as well.
So is Verlander sort of like your mentor on the team?
I go to him whenever i
whenever i have a baseball question about trying to become the best baseball player i can possibly
be that's cool he's a he's a guy you can go bounce bounce stuff off he'll tell you he's not a yes guy
he'll tell you you're crazy or he'll tell you you're right on and you need you need guys that
are not yes guys around you in your life you you have you have plenty of people that'll just say
whatever you want to hear because oh yeah well i'm going to say whatever you want to hear because i
want to get on your good side but but you you need the guys in your corner that say like no don't do
that yeah yes do this no don't do that did it take a while to sort of like build that relationship
with him or was he kind of like easily approachable from the start every day but game day he's easy easily easily approachable um game day he comes he comes to the
field i think he's got a song with three playlists i mean with three uh with a playlist with three
songs on it all eminem because he's been in detroit he's got it right he's got till till i
collapse this is walk up song classic oh yeah oh yeah it's it's great fired up every time he gets fired up so comes to the field beats headphones on three songs and he is just pacing
back and forth in front of his locker reading a scouting report he knows every hitter he faces
better than they know themselves and on game day i am when whenever he's in the training room
getting stretched out before the game i am like debating whether or not to give him nooks before we go out on the field
because I don't want to mess with his routine.
Is he nervous?
No, I don't think he's nervous.
I think he's just the, when we talk about superstition,
I don't know if it's so much superstition as it is routine.
I think he is just so routine-based and he's been so successful doing it forever
that he's just obsessed with his routine.
That's cool.
I thought it was.
So when you broke your finger in high school, you were going to be like a first round pick, right?
Well, I thought so.
Well, I think that was what a lot of scouts were saying, too, though.
Dude, wait real quick.
My friend is a baseball coach in college right now.
And this is what he told me a New Mexico scout said said about you he said this we might have to cut this he said he is the perfect
baseball player beer drinking pussy chasing son of a bitch he's looking around we don't have to
cut that he looked around and alex has some buddies here um we don't we don't have to cut that. You looked around and Alex has some buddies here.
We don't have to cut that.
Keep that in.
Good scout.
He's a good scout.
But so you broke your finger and then you...
More baseball than the other two.
Right.
But, I mean, occasionally I'm attracted to women
and occasionally I like a cerveza or two
nice dude i had a rough especially after especially after a playoff series
oh shit me i was feels good i was trying to taste way better i was trying to ask out this girl on
saturday and i was texting another girl for advice so i screenshotted our conversation
and i meant to send it to the other girl but i sent it to the girl i was asking advice on
that didn't work what you didn't
that didn't work like what do you mean like what did you say after you i came clean because i think
the the cover-up's always worse than the crime i just said i was looking for advice on how to ask
you out i sent that to a friend i'm really embarrassed i want to walk off a cliff right
now that might have worked she liked it yeah we're okay because you're being honest yeah you're like
they like honesty bro yeah dude's being straightforward depends what you're being honest about i've been honest about some stuff
on first dates and it's really scared yeah like not you can't say like yeah i've had chlamydia
three times yeah right even if you're being honest that there's a line yeah that'd be honest
for you no no i haven't had chlamydia thank my lucky stars but i have had unsafe sex and i have
said that on first dates you said that to somebody i like to get it out quick
you told somebody i don't wear a condom well i don't want to trick people so i want them to know
up top what they're dealing with so there's no moment three months down the road where they're
like you pretended to be this other guy i'm like look i told you from jump that i've made mistakes
i like i like your honesty do they appreciate it it? Sometimes, yeah. I want someone who appreciates it.
I mean, Chad appreciates it.
I like it.
It's very, I'm kind of the opposite, so it's kind of like, it's kind of a...
Are you more introverted?
More introverted, yeah.
He just kind of lays it on you and you're like, wow, that's really interesting.
But it makes you feel good, I think.
Have you had any embarrassing courting moments with uh women
i think i think it would really like first dates yeah or just like asking someone out because i
think our fans are fans of the people who listen to us they um they're fans right they sometimes
fans of the show they stokers stokers they sometimes struggle with that stuff so hearing
that like you know alex bragman might have had some of those moments. They struggle going on dates.
Just in the uncertainty that romance can kind of bring on.
Yeah, I mean, I think dating during a baseball season is brutal anyway.
You're on the road 10, 12 days at a time,
and then you're back home for 12 days.
And when you're back home, you don't want to do anything you just want to be alone yeah and uh my my dating life's a
little bit different than than the average person it's strictly like a november hits i'm starting
dating that's february february 13th the day before valent Day. Yeah. I plan out I'm going to spring training every year.
So no Valentine's Day.
Thank God.
And then I just roll with, if I'm dating someone from November to February 13th, like, it's
game over.
Season starts.
So you want to be single for a while.
You're not looking to settle down anytime soon.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
I want to be single.
I think you mentioned him earlier jeter
did it right right yeah i saw there's there's definitely a lot of interesting stories um
some of uh some of my ex-girlfriends uh parents like me more than my ex-girlfriends do it's kind
of weird but didn't jeter give him baskets? Gift baskets on the way out.
He gave gift baskets to the women he would sleep with on their way out?
Yeah.
What was in the gift baskets?
I don't know.
Maybe like a gift card.
A ball?
A gift card.
He gave him a signed ball?
A signed baseball.
I don't know.
What?
He gave it to the same girl twice.
Oh, really?
She's got two signed Jeter balls?
Yeah.
He got with her again, and then he got caught. I don't know if that's true. That might be a rumor. Did he forget? Oh, really? She's got two signed Jeter balls? Yeah.
I don't know if that's true.
That might be a rumor.
Did he forget?
He's like, here's a signed ball.
She's like, I already have this.
Maybe we should start giving signed T-shirts that we make. The best thing Jeter ever did, I think the best policy was the no phones.
I'll need two or three shirts for the next year.
Two or three shirts for the
next year if i'm giving them away giving them away your ex's uh parents usually like more you said
a little bit yeah well you're a baseball star so that's that's got to be pretty appealing when you
come through the door right yeah and normally i end up liking their parents more than them too
do you like winning the parents over like getting the parents to like you um i'll i'll occasionally go over meet the parents
right but do you put it on do you like put on the charm uh yeah i do i do you like i don't know over
the parents oh yeah yeah it's fun you went over the parents it's it's a wrap it's a wrap i i had
an ex and uh we broke up and then christmas came around and we make shirts like I have a shirt with my
face on it says stoked and her mom got her and her sisters all those shirts after y'all broke up
yes here's your president's shirt with your ex's face on it we're kind of back together I think
I think the shirt thing worked yeah you're pumped dude let's go we're all pumped yeah
um all right switching gears.
How weird is it that Manny Machado and Bryce Harper aren't signed yet?
Super weird.
Right?
It's a weird time.
Now, just from your tone there,
are you insinuating at all that there might be collusion going on
by the owners in not signing these guys?
I don't know.
Just two of the top players in the game haven't been signed yet and it's almost
spring training and they're like 25 like it's not like these guys are like on the tail end
superstars yeah they both can easily throw up a thousand ops yeah which is on her which is
like mike trout territory and everyone needs how's dallas keitel still unsigned
yeah this is he's got a Cy Young a few years ago.
And we're a week away from spring training.
I can't remember this ever happening in baseball history.
It's the last two years.
That's it.
It's craziness.
You think they're trying to bring down the contract size?
I don't know.
I mean, that's the obvious kind of suspicion.
I think teams are saying, well, these 10-year deals are crazy,
which I don't know if they are.
I think Mike Trout's going to – he's paying his off well.
Oh, yeah.
I think he's doing a great job.
I think Bryce Harper and Manny Machado will play well for the next 10 years.
Yeah.
I really do.
You know those guys?
Oh, yeah.
What are they like?
Good dudes.
Yeah.
Machado had kind of a rough postseason optics
wise yeah I met I met Manny at the all-star uh I met him before that but we played against each
other in Baltimore and stuff like that but um I really got to talk to him at the all-star game
really good dude he actually gave me a bottle of whiskey it was congratulations for going really
just nice guy that's awesome hey thanks yeah, thanks. Yeah, it was awesome.
It was a great experience.
And then I got a hit against Harper in the home run derby.
Been knowing him for a little while.
We have the same spring training complex in Florida.
So, shit, I think Bryce will get a 10-year deal.
I think Manny will too.
It's just like, it's crazy that it's taken this long.
You think they'll get $300 million?
They better.
They better make
more than 30 34 35 a year um i saw something like bryce wanted to be 40 million a year now he's one
of the guys with a with a he's kind of he's got it kind of got a lot going on with like he's got
a great he's got a great personality he's a great player he's fiery yeah he's fiery he brings energy
the fans love it like he i think
he's worth 40 million a year i love the look too i think manny machado's 40 million a year
i think both of them are um now we'll see if they get paid that which is i mean they should are you
are you boris who's your agent scott boris oh no no no i went to school with this kid. No, I'm with Tidal.
Oh, okay.
Tidal Sports, yeah.
Just actually came over.
Well, I was with Brody Schofield.
He's been my agent since I was a sophomore in high school.
Whoa.
Yeah.
Back when those other agencies told me they only took first-round picks,
I was with Brody the whole time.
They told you that?
Oh, yeah.
And then I was.
So, sorry. Now you can come try and come back into
the picture but fuck yeah stick it to him nah that's awesome do you have a favorite baseball
movie uh major league major league uh one and two yeah dude love them so you don't go for the
sentimentality of like field of dreams or something like that no you like the balls to the wall yeah
i like more of like the that's how that's how i envisioned the big leagues being like major league
two when i got up there and there is a little bit of that yeah it's nice that's cool it's refreshing
i had some friends who played in the minors they said it kind of blows
they were in like quad cities i played in quad cities yeah were there any cities with teams when you were
going through the whole drafting everything were there any cities where you're like man that would
be tough if i had to go there like you're like man milwaukee it's gonna be cold it's like for me
if i had to move to new york i'd be like they're like you can get saturday night live i'd be like
well i'm gonna tan you know that's important you can do new york i mean being tan is my brand so
i don't know it'd have to be a huge offer and they'd have to have like a tanning bed out there
for him yeah where you could just hop hop on the in the tanning bed yeah like in between scenes
add 30 rock they just have a fucking nice tanning bed there for my dog. I'd be like, Lauren, what about my bronze?
So you mentioned you have a, like you usually travel with like a squad.
Who's usually in your squad?
So actually we just recently launched our YouTube channel.
Yeah, I saw that. YouTube.com slash Alex Bregman.
Y'all go subscribe to that.
It's actually been a lot of fun.
And we have like our little vlog series it's breg and the boys and it's been it's my best friend since i um my best friends in the whole
world and tyler and i grew up together um he plays professional baseball um we've known each other
since we were five my buddy blair plays professional baseball we've been knowing each other since we
were 13 years old and then my buddy mich, who I was roommates in college with,
who was actually just drafted by the Astros, us four,
we actually are just starting our little podcast.
We're calling it Bregs for Breakfast.
Nice.
We'll play on words.
Like it.
We have our chef making us breakfast.
We invite some guests over, talk about some recent sports,
stuff like that, whatever.
But it's a lot of fun, and it's the perfect mix of personalities and that's kind of what makes the our crew kind of work we have me
a little bit of a dumb ass but i'm gonna work my ass off and try and play the game um we have
strob who's reliable like just consistent every day nice guy we have beck who's the who's reliable, just consistent every day, nice guy.
We have Beck, who's the class clown.
We have Michael, who is angry all the time.
Dude, that's a full squad.
It's a nice squad.
We're big on squad dynamics.
Oh, yeah.
I feel like the people around you are so important.
You've got to have good people around you.
Hit it with the Buffet quote.
Oh, yeah.
Warren Buffet says that you're the average of the five dudes you kick it with the most.
You're the average of the five dudes you kick it with the most.
That's a quote from Warren.
Let me think about the five dudes I kick it with the most.
Those three.
Verlander brings you up.
Oh, Verlander skyrockets me down.
No, I'm kidding.
He brings me up.
Yeah.
Damn.
If I'm an average around y'all and i mean alex is always he's
always filming our four people with you right now oh they bring me what these two over here
way down right no but i'm telling i'm telling you uh if that if that's the case then i'm gonna be
in a good spot because i got some really really good people around me that's awesome dude so
i mean you must consider game five extra innings
that's the biggest moment of your career so far right biggest moment for sure no doubt now were
you nervous coming up to the plate um so whenever it's late in the game i'm always like counting
down like how many places in the order until i get to hit and we go into we go into the we go into the 10th inning because we,
I think we gave up a single to Chris Taylor.
Change up, one-two count.
Grumbo up the middle.
They scored, they tied the game.
I'm like looking up at the scoreboard of when I'm going to come up
and I'm like, all right, well, I'm up.
I'm up fifth, so two people would need to get on.
All right, I got a chance.
And the night before I faced Ken, and he threw me a slider,
and I homered off him.
So I was like, no chance he throws me another slider when I face him.
He's coming right at me with his cutter.
So be on time.
Be ready to hit that.
And don't miss it.
Stay on top of it.
Now I'm in the on-deck circle.
I'm like, wow, you're going to get a chance.
McCann just got hit by a pitch.
Springer walked, and I'm like, you're going to get a chance.
I see Fisher running out of the dugout to go pinch run
he's the fastest guy on our team one of the fastest guys in the big league so i'm like if you get any
hit here he's scoring now i'm walking up to the plate in my head i'm like they just have a pitching
change so i'm walking up in the plate i got a lot of time to think while i'm in the box so i hate
which i hate when when the pitching coach goes out and talks to the pitcher when i'm walking up to
bed i hate it because i just stand there and think.
I'm sitting there.
I'm like, don't swing at the first pitch.
Take one.
See what it looks like.
So I go up there, and I load, get ready to hit.
I see it, and I swing.
I'm like, oh, I thought you were going to take.
You just swung.
And it ended up being right off the end of the bat, over the shortstop's head,
falling in.
I'm like, this is a dream come true.
Wait, so you didn't even mean to swing on that pitch?
Well, I was just telling myself, don't swing.
Just go up there and see it.
And then I saw it, and I was like, ah, let's swing.
And all of a sudden, I swung, and I was like, you just swung.
You just made contact.
Went over the shortstop's head.
You guys are going to win Game 5 of the World Series. You're going to be're gonna be up three two in the series and you're gonna have one game to close it
out and that's awesome dude i was up till 8 a.m that night just calling people everyone i know
like dude are you shit me do you believe it just happened like my family was over at the house just
hanging out till five just re-watching the replay of it like,000 times. All my friends were there.
I probably had 40 people in town for the World Series.
All of them were at the house every game,
and then they'd all travel out to L.A. with me,
and we'd watch the game here.
It was just an unbelievable experience.
And then after that, I mean, the parade was insane.
That's awesome.
We had a blast, bro.
Actually, Tyler and Michaelael i told i told
the astros that they were my cousins and because there's only fan there was only like family
members allowed on the on the parade on the parade float or whatever so it's like yeah they're my
cousins they they just flew in from out of town they're gonna come on there with me they're like
are you sure they're your cousins i'm like they're my cousin they're like really because we know him
he plays for the astros but they let it fly because we just won the World Series.
So we're on the parade flow with Travis Scott, our whole team,
a bunch of Houston legends.
Houston fans are amazing, too.
I saw one of your guys' games at Minute Maid last year.
It was phenomenal.
Insane, bro.
Insane, especially in the playoffs.
Takes it to another level.
The juice box is is is loud
so how are you gonna top that um maybe do it twice this year nice maybe game one game game two and
then just win the next two by more runs than that and you guys are the favorites right it's you and
the red socks probably yeah depending on what happened how it shakes out these available guys
yeah we're us and the red socks are thex are the front runners again and you guys battled this postseason right
yeah we battled um they got the better of us a few of the guys on our team were banged up that's
not an excuse at all they were they played really well and they played really good baseball they're
well coached they got a ton of good players but um after watching the patriots win the red sox beating us last year there's no
other city that i would like to to beat more this year than in boston all the all the tweets we just
did a reading of mean tweets for my youtube channel yeah they're all from boston fans yeah
yeah brutal all right should we do some questions yeah Yeah, let's dive in. All right, so we answered questions from the Stokers.
We got a lot of great questions this week.
First up.
Are you stoked for these?
I'm stoked.
Yeah, always.
Hold on, it's going to be, we're going to have to cut some because my computer is acting
warm.
So you guys dye your hair blonde?
We did it for the coral reefs because the coral reefs are bleaching themselves, which
means they're dying because the oceans are heating up.
So we bleached our hair to stand in solidarity with the coral.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
Bring awareness to it.
Oh, nice.
I bleached my hair this year.
Dude, do it again this year, dude.
Yeah, for the coral.
Dude, I can't.
Dude, but you could, bro.
I looked fucking horrible.
I looked horrible.
Dude, but for the horrible but the coral
though oh google it oh yeah your friend wants me to google your bleached hair yeah it's like it's
bad bregman and there were no hits in the in there are no hits in the in the bleached hair
no no imagine though if you're walking up to the plate and they're like alex bregman for the coral
and the Astros.
Dude, I think you look gorgeous, bro.
I think you look wonderful, man.
Oh, dude, yeah.
That's beautiful.
And all the coral you're helping?
My God.
It's huge, dude.
Yeah.
I saw it later.
Like someone screenshot it and sent it to me.
Someone was using it as their Tinder pic.
Oh, really?
Yeah, catfishing, using my photo photo was that your first time bleaching first time ever yeah this
is my first time last time really yeah dude that was i i had i had a lot of i had a lot of stupid
stuff going on with my hair last year yeah i had like i had a mustache i shaved mid-game yeah
second inning i was over too i said you know what screw this i'm going
upstairs to shave of course the cameras catch everything now yeah so they catch it they're like
didn't he have a mustache this last about yeah right it was it was gone yeah it's harder to
get away with like appearance changes now and it's like new you know cameras everywhere culture
it's weird bro there's cameras catching everything you do yeah
like if you if you do anything to your hair your body everyone's gonna know
oh yeah is that weird a little bit i might have to get a spray tan this year do something crazy
when you get on the body issue or something like that dude big fan of that are you oh i love it of
course yeah do you you want to see me on the body issue
uh yeah yeah i do yeah straight talk yeah okay here we go don't say my name what up stoker boom
clap my mess in it my message resonates from deep within i've been dating this girl for about a year
now and she's the best thing ever and we get along really well she's easy at 10 out of 10 and I'm constantly getting shit from my dogs
about how she's so hot
and hearing from different people,
they stare at her and stuff at school.
Keep in mind, I'm a junior in high school.
It embarrasses me when they do this
and when I hear about other people talking about her
because she's mine and I want her to know I'm hers.
What should I do to fend off all these sleeps
that keep making it hard for me to be with my girlfriend?
I really don't know what to do because i want her to only take me seriously and really like me not not that she has other options you want to go and then i'll give my advice after
uh i'd say i'd be stoked on all the attention she gets so you know i mean you know for sure that you
got a um you got a good girl there.
And I would just, you know, try as hard as you can just to be confident.
Be like, I know she's mine, and I know these guys want her,
but she's mine, she chose me, so all you dudes can suck it.
Yeah, I think, dude, honestly, I think that obviously you did something right
if she's getting all their attention.
I think on her end she
needs to give you a little bit of confidence and tell and and reinforce that you're you're hers and
i mean i'm different though bro i'm i'm kind of uh i'm kind of a jealous type too so really yeah
i'm a jealous type bro like interesting i don't like i don't yeah i don't like anybody any dudes or any dudes like no dudes you're not talking any
dudes yeah none no texts no snapchat no follows well do you date like do you date like girls with
big instagram accounts or anything like that i mean you don't have to name names but have you
dated in that pool before yeah well that must make it hard then, right?
Because, I mean, their business is sort of trading on that, right?
Oh, of course.
And then they're posting, like, booty pics and stuff on social, and you're just like, ah.
If you're dating me, then why are you posting that?
Yeah.
That's tough.
That is.
For me, at least.
Especially me being the jealous type.
I don't want 400,000 dudes in her comments telling her, like, hit me up.
But at the same time, I'll get over it.
I heard in a movie once, I forget what movie it was,
but this guy was talking to his buddy.
He said, my dad said if you want to sleep at night, don't date a beautiful woman.
And, I mean, dude, that's just the cost of doing business.
Like, you're dating someone beautiful.
They're going to be the object of other people's affection.
You just got to level up and be okay with it at some point.
Or you'll be one of those guys who's walking around gripping it too tight,
who's just worried all the time and looking at everyone and sizing them up.
And that sounds like an exhausting way to live life.
Sounds miserable, actually.
I think the best thing you can do, this is easier said than done,
but the best thing you can do is just sort of try and adopt a mindset mindset that he's cool no matter what you know what i mean right just be
so kind of invested in yourself be like uh not try to train yourself to not let your happiness be sort
of dictated by other people like thinking your girlfriend's hot yeah bro just yeah look just have
some confidence in yourself and and show that to her,
and I bet you she likes that as well.
Yeah, get like a 4.0 GPA and be like, yeah, that's right.
That's why she's dating me.
Fucking whiz kid, bro.
If he's like the dude that's not affected by that, he's going to stand out, I think.
What's up, Stokers?
I'm a big fan of the pod, and I'm putting my homies onto you guys.
I need your insight.
My fiance has some fat tits.
They're amazing.
Who doesn't love huge boobs?
The problem is that her boobs are so big that they cause her to have back pain.
She wants to get a breast reduction, which I am against.
I love my girl and want her to be happy, but I can't figure out if I'm being selfish or
if she is being selfish.
Would this be the equivalent of me taking a couple inches off my dong?
If my dong was so big that it caused me to have back pain,
I feel that I would be pretty stoked about it.
Am I a shitty fiance for wanting her to keep her double D's,
even though they cause her to have back aches?
What can I do to save the boobs?
Bro,
I don't think,
I don't think there's any problem with you wanting her not to get a
reduction.
I mean, you started dating her with those.
Now you're engaged to her with those.
Now that you're engaged, you're engaged to a completely different woman.
She's pulling the plug.
Look, obviously instinctively.
I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
No, no, I hear you.
I hear you, though, because instinctively when I hear this at first blush,
I'm like, you know, my heart goes out to him.
Like, I want you to have those big boobs in your life i know how exciting that can be
that being said unfortunately they're her boobs so i think you kind of got to support her but
i would say like you just got to figure out a way to think about it like because if you tell her not
to do it it's going to hurt her feelings you know what i mean 100 yeah And you got to think about it like if you had to lose two inches off your dong
and she said she would love you less because of that,
that probably hurt a lot.
Oh, yeah, that would hurt.
Plus back pain, dude.
Back pain sucks.
So you got to think about that.
She's going to have back pain?
I mean, I like his analogy, but let's be real.
No dong has ever given a dude back pain.
The only thing is I'm a big areola.
And no one's ever liked back pain. i'm a big areola guy though so like so if if they get if they get reduced is
the areola gonna get reduced as well to be proportionate that's a good question i think
they'll do a good job it's a good question y'all shorten words too you abbreviate oh he's one of
the kings of it we're gonna breathe guy oh we just started our new our new thing our new thing is like mine
instead of decent deece you know there's two types of deece like oh that's deece like it's okay or
there's deece which is like that that's better than good deece i was gonna tell the gentleman
one more thing i was gonna say so you can't argue straight up about this and be like don't do it
because you're just not gonna make much headway in that direction what i would do is start suggesting group pilates you go to pilates
together strengthen your backs and then she can reassess or goat yoga i heard that's a new thing
yeah people are doing yoga and it was like goats on their back dude that sounds exciting yeah i
said it actually worked they said it actually works yeah it helps back pain how does the goat
stay there i have no clue but bro i'm telling, it's this weird thing that people are doing now that, I don't know.
You're trying, for sure.
That does sound daced.
Daced.
Oh, there we go.
Yeah, maybe do some deadlifts with her.
Strengthen her back.
Maybe you go get a Theragun.
I was going to say a Tim gun.
And you go massage your back or something.
Yeah, you got to be offering back rubs every night.
Your hands should have arthritis at the end of your marriage.
And I bet you she keeps them if you do that.
Hey, dudes, love the podcast.
The world would be a better place if everyone had your outlooks on life.
I'm looking for advice on a tricky situation with one of my dogs at college.
He has never been the smoothest with women and he hasn't gotten with any girls
at college,
but he has repeatedly lied about getting with chicks and even lied about losing
his virginity a couple of years ago.
And a year later,
he lied again about getting laid.
Trust me.
We have proved that they were lies.
Both of these lies came just a week after one of my other boys,
the other,
the only other one who was single actually did did get laid, as if he was trying to
keep up. At times, he has gone pretty far to cover up these lies, and it is clearly a burden that I
wouldn't want any of my bros to live with. My dogs and I really want to help him, but his dishonesty
makes it difficult, and we usually just avoid talking about women with him. To really help him,
we need to explain to him that being a virgin isn't a big deal and let him know there's nothing
to be ashamed of and that we would obviously still love him regardless of his lack of success
with babes, but we really can't do that unless we confront his
lies obviously having an intervention and calling him out on these lies is a pretty delicate sitch
how would you try and help him what would you guys do if this was one of your boys we love him and
want the weight of carrying around such big lies lifted off his shoulder any and all vice is
appreciated thanks bros that's tough i think he's probably pretty sensitive about it so i
wouldn't do a group intervention in this circumstance like you five guys in a room
being like hey bro we all know you're full of shit that sounds pretty uh emotionally devastating
i'm opposite i think he should do it oh really oh yeah hey i think he should do it how would you do
it i would i would have my...
Let's just say one of my boys is doing this.
I'd have four of us in the room.
He'd come in.
He'd be like, hey, bro, listen.
We know you're full of shit.
Okay?
Now, wait up, wait up, wait up.
Okay?
I'll be in.
Yeah, just wait up.
Let us finish, okay?
You got nothing to be ashamed of.
And in honor of that,
we're going to take you on a little trip.
Maybe we'll go to Vegas.
Maybe we'll go to South Padre.
Maybe we'll go to Hawaii.
We'll leave the country.
Call it a bachelor party.
We'll get you late.
Yeah, I mean, I'm down.
I mean, I've had sex before,
but I'm down to go on a trip and have more sex.
Bro, I'm just letting you know that it's okay.
We know you haven't and you don't need it you don't need to give you don't need to get mad about that you
don't need you don't need to get defensive you don't need to get upset
it's cool all of us'll get you we'll get you
we got you let's do the trip for sure but i get laid all right let me know when we're leaving
leaving tomorrow all right so you think no confrontation i know see here's what i think
i think i'm a pussy and but i'm and i always think
like i was a virgin until i was 24 so i i never would have wanted to be called down in front of
all my dogs maybe it would have helped you know just rip the band-aid off but i think i might
have never recovered and just stayed in my room for the rest of my life um i think the move is
just have your gentlest most open friend go talk to him about it one-on-one be like hey bro we know
that you haven't gotten laid hey dude so that thing that you say
where you say you have sex some of the guys are starting to suspect that maybe you haven't had sex
and that's okay and it gets progressively quieter and he's like okay and he's like no but i have
no but i have what do boobs feel like and then he's like sandbags yeah i just i feel like if you
say anything to him about it,
it's just going to make it worse.
Yeah.
I don't know.
But what if he just gets laid?
Then he, I think they just got to get him laid.
Dude, my brother's friends,
they gave one of their guys who was a virgin a jersey
that said virgin on the back.
He for sure got laid after that.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude, maybe.
Girls are into that.
They want to be the one.
I didn't really do the college experience.
I don't know how it works.
I feel like dudes are the ones you give criticism to.
So they're like, all right, I need to fucking get on top of this.
Because now he's just floating by.
He's like, everyone thinks I fuck all the time.
But if they're like, nah, dude, you don't.
He's like, all right, well, I actually have to put in some work.
Right.
It's better to live in reality, too, than to live in these lies that are hurting him and causing him to lie more.
Yeah. Be real with him.
Yeah.
What up, bros? Lately, I haven't been kicking it much with the squad.
I assume it's just because I'm super preoccupied with hockey.
I'm looking forward to this summer because I'll be able to kick it back with the boys.
But yesterday, my parents presented me with an opportunity to go to peru
for a month this summer and do some super dope shit like climb machu picchu wow i'm not doing
great here i'm conflicted on what to do make memories of a lifetime with the bros or with peru
the bros always don't go to peru the bros the bros wow i agree i think you got to make memories with the squad peru will always be there what's j cole's new song say if it ain't about the squad
don't give a fuck yeah i like j cole's fire i think my only thing is my buddy strider our buddy
strider he didn't like to kick it with the crew that much in high school he kind of took us for
granted like he'd hang out with us but he wasn't that into it but then his parents sent him away
for a summer to uh china
and he was so lonely over there that he came back with a new appreciation for us i don't think that's
what's going to happen to this dude i think he'll have a great time in peru but i think it's never a
bad thing to change your perspective on what your situation is so your boy started to like just he
was taking he was taking it y'all for granted and then he came back and he's like damn he's like i
love you dude yeah he sent me i missed you guys he sent us like emails from china where he's like i'm so fucking lonely out here i love you, dude. I missed you guys. He sent us emails from China where he was like,
I'm so fucking lonely out here.
I miss you guys.
What did he say about the sun setting in the east?
He said, the sun sets in the east
and it is setting very slowly on me, my friends.
He had one friend who was a kid
he was teaching English to
who was like six years old.
They'd talk to each other like between a gate.
Dropped like 15 pounds eating noodles.
Yeah.
Dude, I'd say this though during baseball season i can't wait to get back with with my boys with your squad oh yeah yeah dude
like it's the best time it's the best time ever during the baseball season yeah competing every
night but then like the the best part the best part about the off season is hanging out with
your with your boys are you kind of a homebody like do you like no no no i like i like i like doing stuff yeah yeah he's like he liked
the squat though yeah we go we go everywhere together that's awesome yeah all right we got
a couple more questions what up chad and jt just want to say thank you for helping me through my
summer landscaping job with your pods i want to to buy floor tickets for Travis Scott this December,
but don't know if I'll hold up in a mosh pit.
I'm 5'9", 140 pounds.
I'm all about getting rowdy on the floor with the squad,
but don't want to drop serious money if I'm going to get pushed around.
What are your guys' experience with mosh pits?
I'll tell you firsthand.
I was at a Travis Scott concert in Astroworld in houston just this off season we're standing we're sitting like back
we're sitting like backstage watching everything go on bro it is a fight in the crowd every two
seconds crazy like girls are getting like beat up by dudes like police officers are like pulling
people out of the mosh pits like it's craziness like it's it's fun for some people
i guess like it's madness but bro like i would i would never go and do that because i mean i'm
yeah i'm like five nine two so when you got it your body is like you're oh and you just get
people just get trampled yeah so i don't know how much money he's gonna spend on those on those
tickets but just depends if you like getting your ass kicked,
spending money to get your ass kicked.
Yeah.
I've never been in a mosh pit, but I just watch.
You would love it.
Yeah.
You do it?
Yeah.
I've seen him in a mosh pit.
There's some mosh pits I won't go into.
Like, you know, growing up in Orange County,
there was like some punk rock shows where, like,
guys would get their teeth kicked out.
I'm not into that.
But I've had good experiences in some softer pits. I one time at a my chemical romance concert my brother and i were in the pit
and my brother was a strong football player and he was laying some wood and he knocked a skinhead
over and my brother and i both look jewish so the skinhead started throwing hail hitlers at my
brother and i so we made ourselves scarce for the encore oh you are yeah and so the guy was like
doing like that with all of his buddies.
And my brother and I were like, let's get the fuck out of here.
But that was the worst experience.
One time at a brand new concert, I kind of started the pit.
And I felt so raw and alive.
And I realized I wasn't fragile.
And after the pit, a guy sought me out and shook my hand.
Did you feel very accomplished at that moment?
It felt like a real connection. And it felt like a rite of passage, and I don't want this
young man to miss out on it.
You're not fragile.
Maybe not at the Travis Scott concert.
Maybe let's downgrade to something a little gentler, and just work on that core strength,
baby, because that's what's going to keep you upright.
Yeah, maybe a six-pack.
Yeah, just fucking solid in the earth.
Some crunches.
Yeah.
Some planks before you go out there.
Oh, here we go.
What's up, dudes?
I'm currently in the middle of a crisis.
I crashed my dad's car and totaled it.
He keeps asking me where it is, and I just told him I lost it.
Should I stick to that story or fess up?
Thanks.
Read that again.
Read that again.
What up, dudes?
I'm currently in the middle of a crisis.
I crashed my dad's car and totaled it.
He keeps asking me where it is, and I just told him I lost it.
Should I stick to that story or fess up?
Thanks.
You told your dad that you lost his car?
Like forgot where he placed it, I think is what he's going for.
Oh, like where he parked it?
Yeah.
Like, hey, dad, what does the dad say?
Like, is the dad like, hey, how did you forget where you parked it? Yeah. Like, hey, dad, what's the dad say? Like, is the dad like, hey, how did you forget where you parked it?
I'm guessing this kid's made mistakes like this pretty consistently his whole life.
I wonder when he sent the email to us.
Because if it was like a week ago, I wonder if his dad's still like, he's like, I'm way on an answer from this podcast.
Dude, honestly, I would just be like, hey like hey dad i totaled your car
you here's what i would do i would tell my dad that i totaled two of his cars
i say dad i totaled two of your cars and he gets so fucking mad he's like you totaled two of my
cars you dumb fuck and then after hours of him fuming about that i'm just kidding i go dad
wait i'm wrong i only totaled one of your cars.
He'd still be pissed.
I think he would be more understanding if you just said I totaled your car.
Just come clean.
Yeah, because then he doesn't think that you're like, I don't know, stupid for losing his car.
No offense at all.
I've come up with some i've come up with some bs as well but
i just come clean and be like bro i told your car i'm i fucked up what if he just like
sent like a selfie of him in front of the car he's like i found the car and it's all fucked up
yeah you just say somebody else took it yeah someone took it for a joyride and
wrapped it around like a telephone pole yeah it's like oh fuck dad here's the car bad luck what's he gonna say like a i left my key it left
your keys in it yeah it's good quash dece quash dece dece all right dudes what up in an attempt
to woo this betty i started using an english accent to increase my sophistication level
we were hooking up one night and I got the English and Australian accents
confused and started yelling Australian phrases.
Like I said,
crikey.
I think she's starting to suspect that I'm just from Ohio.
How do I convince her that I really am English?
Thanks.
Oh shit.
That's pretty funny.
Dude.
I would,
uh,
I would get some like crumpets orets or maybe buy a wand or something.
Yeah, maybe just play some 21 Savage now.
He's from the UK.
Oh, he is?
Yeah.
Weird.
I think he got in trouble with ice.
Oh, really?
Yeah, you didn't see that?
No.
Yeah, just hit the news.
You got to look it up.
Man.
I don't know, bro.
It's a tough world out there right now.
I just tell her that you
got you got a little bit of australian in you too and then ask her if she wants some australian in
her these pickup line these days i think i would bone up on uh my shakespeare and i would apologize
to her for my deception in the most beautiful like stratford upon avon accent all in iambic pentameter and be like
thou heart has been deceived by a man who wished to impress and for my transgression
i shall kiss your bosom or something like that a man borneth from ohio
you guys are good at that you guys do some acting did that sound good that. You guys do some acting? Did that sound good? Yeah. Y'all do some acting?
Kind of. You dabble? Yeah.
I played a skate announcer once
on TV. Did you? Fire, dude.
You really did a great job, yeah.
Was it similar to like the Hangover?
I mean, not the Hangover, Dodgeball announcers?
Oh, like Cotton? Yeah.
I like to think that was similar to Cotton.
Really? I think so.
Is that Real Bros? Have you seen that show? Real Bros Simi Valley? I haven't. 1 was similar to Cotton. Really? I think so. Is that Real Bros?
Have you seen that show?
Real Bros Simi Valley?
I haven't.
1.5 million views.
That's not deece.
That's deece.
Deece.
I'm going to check that out.
Yeah.
Real Bros episode four.
Episode four?
Yeah.
All right.
We'll check it out.
It's funny.
It's funny shit.
It's on Facebook.
It's funny?
Is it supposed to be like a comedy?
Yeah.
Yeah. Do you know Jimmy Tatro tatro he was like uh he's dylan on uh american vandal okay
he's in 22 jump street oh okay that's like the broiest of the frat guys okay super talented is
he and christian pierce are like writing partners they create the show and he's this he's like the
star of the show that's sick yeah it was cool It was cool. What up, Chad and JT?
My name's K-Dawg, long-time listener of The Pot.
Your advice about not spanking the monkey to porn,
I am a porn addict and I've been abstaining for,
I've been doing pretty good lately.
And so some of the dudes, they're trying to follow suit.
Has seriously elevated my stoke in the B-room and all my sexual encounters since I've lightened up
on the frequency of jacking my ween
as well as making
each experience more wholesome. I feel that. Anyways, dudes, I have a problem. I'm in college
and one of my boys who happened to be my freshman year roommate has been trying to play games with
me. He takes advantage of when I black out while raging and tries to convince me the next day
that I wronged him or did stupid shit while blacked to make me feel guilty that I owe him.
But after confirming with other sources, I've never done any of the things he says.
And I don't understand why he feels the need to,
to have power over me.
What should I do?
Should I confront him,
which will probably blow up since he's very volatile,
or should I slowly poke him or should I slowly poke him from who I rage with?
Boak means to kick out of your group.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
Is that like a new term or is that like a...
We've kind of been cultivating it on the pod.
Boak?
Boak the schmoles.
A schmole is like the guy in the group that nobody likes.
And you boak the schmoles.
I think personally I say you give him a little...
You tell him what's going on.
If he doesn't like it, you boak him.
Boak the schmole.
Thank you.
I like that.
What do you think?
I like what you said.
Just be like, dude, I know what you're doing,
and if you don't stop, you're going to get boke.
I think when you confront him,
you really got to crystallize what's so awful about this.
You got to be like, dude, you're a fucking weirdo.
Do you know how weird you are?
That your purpose right now is just to fuck with me
when i'm having a good time yeah you got nothing else going on on a monday at 8 30 in the morning
when we wake up from a rager on sunday fun day yeah like maybe if you were waking up next to
somebody you liked or playing some video games with some people you liked you wouldn't be so
fucking worried about making me feel bad you're weird bro it's really weird what do you get out of making me feel bad yeah what is
that she's like dude you are this close to a boking you're on the razor's edge of a boking dude
what's he gonna say what's a boking he's like poke me dude i don't give a fuck i know you had sex
with that donkey that's what he accuses it's the most outlandish lies he's like wait what did
i do last night he's like dude you fucked a donkey bro yeah i tried to stop you and your dumb ass was
so drunk you fucked it twice bro you're gonna poke me because you had sex with a fucking donkey
all right dude if you can't come to terms with the genuine reality that you fuck donkeys when
you're blacked out i don't really want to be your friend anyways yeah and i'm gonna tell everybody
you're like dude too bad I talked to the donkey,
and we were totally chill, and nothing happened.
The donkey said we're good.
I didn't fuck the donkey.
I think we solved it.
All right, Chad, who is your legend of the week?
All right, my legend of the week is me as a baseball player when I was nine.
Not trying to flex too hard on you, but I was pretty good when I was like eight years old.
I like that.
I made the all-stars.
I was a shortstop.
Dominated.
Then I was climbing a soccer goal.
Fell, broke my wrist, and that ended my career.
Damn.
Biggest regret of my life.
Because, you know, after that I started drinking Mountain Dew, getting into extreme sports,
and then the rest is history.
Red Bull? Red Bull, Mountain Dew? I started with Mountain Dew. I kind of Red Bull more like later in high school. i started drinking mountain dew getting into extreme sports then the rest is history red bull
red bull mountain dew i started with mountain dew kind of red bull more like later in high school
kind of an upgrade but i got you uh i wish i played dude so much fun i love it was my favorite
sport growing up dude it's fun like and a lot of people are like oh it's boring to watch it's
boring to watch it's boring to watch but it's boring to watch, but it's super fun to play. It's so much fun, yeah.
I think the game's becoming more fun and more fun.
They've sped it up a lot too, right?
Yeah, they've sped it up,
but also just the players are able to be themselves and they're able to show emotion and stuff now.
It's kind of in the unwritten rules before that you're not supposed to,
but now it's transitioning into a fun, more fun game.
Yeah, for sure.
What's Mike Trout like?
Awesome.
One of the nicest dudes in the whole game.
One of the best, bro.
Just one of the nicest guys ever.
He usually flashed the camera.
At least once a pod.
Oh, that's nice.
But he's really nice.
Oh, the man.
And he works his ass off.
Super smart.
Competitor.
Fun to compete against.
Just a freak of nature.
And built like a brick shithouse.
Oh, yeah.
He can do it all.
He can run.
He can hit.
He can hit for power.
He can throw.
There's, I mean, he's passing everybody on the all-time list.
Yeah, his stats are ridiculous.
He'd probably be in the Hall of Fame right now if he retired.
So crazy.
All right, my legend of the week is Jeremiah, the R&B singer.
Oh, nice.
R&B is probably my favorite genre of music.
I like to dance to it.
It's the easiest for me to move my hips to.
And I like how sensual it is.
And Jeremiah right now is at the top of the list, I think,
of sensual R&B artists. Top songs, these are his hits, but these are the ones I like how sensual it is. And Jeremiah right now is at the top of the list, I think, of sensual R&B artists.
Top songs.
These are his hits, but these are the ones I like.
Impatient, Oui, which I guess is Oui in French.
You can't spell.
What does he say?
You can't spell for fear without you and me.
You can't spell Oui without you and me.
Dude, if you warmed up properly before you did that that might have been spot on
that's close thank you and then planes planes is really cool too about um hooking up on planes
oh that's pretty cool like mile high club stuff like that jeremiah keep doing what you're doing
i know i'm your target demo and trust me dude you're hitting the spot i'm all in
good stuff dude my legend of the week another super bowl
under his belt rob gronkowski yeah nice saw a quote after the game he's going to party with
bill belichick i think all of america wants to party with bill i want to know i bet you he's
fun i bet you he's a blast yeah i think the only time of the year that Bill is happy and talks to the media is right after they win a Super Bowl.
So I'm sure he gets a few cocktails in him after a game.
He's pretty fun to be around.
I could see him just unloading and at that after party,
Funky Town comes on and he's just straight to the dance floor fucking.
Oh, just getting after it.
Harder than anyone.
That thing.
What is that the
disc like the disco point thing yeah yeah so he's my legend and i hope i hope that he comes back for
another year he turned back the clock on that that big catch that he has huge it was huge yeah
now he's taking a lot of beating but he looks it i hope i hope he sticks around i hope he sticks
around for another year yeah he's a great presence in all of our lives.
He's a beast.
Chad, who is your babe of the week?
My babe of the week is Ice Baths.
We took an ice bath last Tuesday, and, dude, it felt like the elixir of life.
Do you do ice baths ever?
Elixir?
Is that like a...
It just keeps your youth, I guess.
Like a magical potion.
Yeah. Like a cure-all. The only thing elixir I guess. Like a magical potion. Yeah.
Like a cure-all.
The only thing Elixir I know is like from Clash of Clans.
You ever play that game?
Nah.
Talks about Elixir.
I think I got the word from Harry Potter.
Oh, really?
I've never read one of those books.
But you like Ice Pass?
The movies are good.
Dude, yeah.
Well, we did like three minutes and it was like 33 degrees.
We were with this guy, Troy.
He's this like health guy from Venice.
And he's like, all right, we're going to get you to tap into your primal nature.
Find your center.
So we got on the ice bath.
And it was tougher than I thought because I take cold showers, you know.
But I went into it kind of like a little bit cocky.
I can handle this.
I got in there.
And then he's like, your body's going to start to panic.
So I started to panic a little bit but then found that center. i'm the opposite after a game i can go sit in the ice
bath no problem easy yeah we we contrast after all the games ice bath hot tub ice oh you do
what's the temperature like 55 degrees 50 degrees i don't know i'm not i'm not exactly sure but it's
pretty cold but then we uh we're having some construction done on my house and
they've messed with the the water and we had to take a cold shower for the first time yeah
my god thank god i just watched uh just uh this david goggins guy yeah thank god i watched him
talk because he's like i do stuff i don't want to do yeah yeah he hates to run oh he hates to do everything but he's like i'm gonna do it because i'm mentally strong i said stuff I don't want to do. Yeah. Yeah, he hates to run. Oh, he hates to do everything, but he's like, I'm going to do it because I'm mentally strong.
I said, I do not want to get in the shower right now, but I'm going to do it.
Yeah.
And I stayed in for about 32 seconds.
I smelled like ass the entire week.
Do you feel good after?
Or are you kind of just like, fuck that?
No, I just was like, I want to take a warm shower.
Yeah.
I hear you. Who's your babe of the week oh thank you my babe of the week to keep it musical is uh florence from florence and the
machine oh dude dude i mean the word that comes to mind is ethereal i mean she doesn't feel like
she's from this planet it looks like she descended down from some heaven where she's been kicking it
with you know david bowie and prince and she
just floats across the stage and you're like thank you for letting me be a part of this they've got
the bangers dog days are over shake it off you've got the love it'll get you hyped up and it also
gets you being like i have never seen another human being like this she is completely unique
once in a generation talent and yeah i'm happy she's around while i'm here thank you
florence is your babe my babe of the week she's a model she's an actress she's a feminist a designer
her instagram name is m rata are we talking about emily rata chukowski oh yeah that's who we're
talking i don't know how to say it dude she. She's gorgeous. Hot, yeah. That's a babe.
For sure.
Absolutely.
Dece.
That's like double dece.
She's one of my favorite Instagrams to follow.
You know she has like heads of state slipping into her DMs?
Stop.
Yeah, like the president of... The United States.
Yeah, believable.
But the president of like uh of um what country
go ireland i don't know ireland you think so you're gonna you're gonna start this
you're gonna make this news i think michael o'shaughnessy he just goes what up what's he
slide with just what up he's like i saw you in my search bar we must have
some common friends what up hi i run ireland if you're ever in ireland stop by quick tangent
jason sudeikis you know what he first said to olivia wilde at a snl party when he hit on her
he walked up to her and he said whatever you're looking for you don't need it and then he walked
away interesting it's deep that's like going real deep with chad and jt it's deep that's where we He walked up to her and he said, whatever you're looking for, you don't need it. And then he walked away. Interesting.
That's deep.
That's like going real deep with Chad and JT.
It's deep.
That's where we live.
That's deep.
All right, dude.
Explain that to me.
I don't know.
He's like, you don't need anything that you're looking for.
You need me.
I think what it suggests is that he's seeing her thinking.
That he sees her actually.
When a lot of people superficially see her, he actually sees her.
I'm going to go ahead and say maybe he had no idea what he was saying, but he it would rattle her cage and then she'd be like what do you mean he's like and she's like wow you're mysterious and he's like yeah i'm
jason sudekis and then they bone chad who is your beef of the week all right my beef of the week i
don't know if you guys saw this during the super bowl but the uh hobbs and shaw fast and furious spinoff do you guys see the dude you know what i love the rock i love jason statum is that you say it i think so i love them
both statum so i love them both but not in this franchise okay you're stepping in territory where
you don't belong all right i didn't see one tank of nos i didn't see any street glow i didn't you know
what are they even doing now you know they're just doing like they're like dealing with like
fucking nukes and shit i'm like what happened to being like echo park and drag racing because
that's what the series is about and then have these you know there's no vin diesel there's
no letty there i'm just like what the fuck dude so that's my beef that beef. That's a, that's a, that's a, I like that beef.
Yeah, it's awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah, because if it's all new parts and none from the original, what is it?
It's like, call it The Rock and Jason Statham act like themselves.
That's the name.
Yeah, don't even call it Hobbs and Shaw.
Yeah.
Just call it Rock and Statham.
Yeah, The Rock and Statham fucking.
I'd rather watch them just hang out for an hour or two me too
i'm sick of them doing like weird like fucking dealing with submarines that have nukes and shit
just like i want to see like them having a conversation do you not to be too mature how
about we just get them doing a weekend trip to napa it's sideways but with jason statum
and the rock i would for sure see that you would watch Jason Statham and The Rock go to Napa?
Dude, yeah.
Yeah, fuck yeah.
I honestly think I would, too.
Yeah, fuck yeah.
Drinking a cab.
Fucking being like, yo, this cab is fire, dude.
You gonna eat that cheese?
I'm worried.
I'm in my 50s now.
I don't know if I'm gonna get the same action roles.
And Rock's like, you'll always get them.
You're the best.
And he's like, thanks, Rock.
Let me top you off
over there dude i know this is gonna be a little controversial because i know you're you're bros
with them and i've been stewing on it for a while but this john jones positive steroid test these
words that they're just like thrown out into the world picograms a terenna ball and that it got
stored in the fat cells of his butt and when you're
cutting weight they reappear because they're pulsating it's like don't overwhelm me with your verbiage dude if the guy's got steroids in his system he shouldn't be fighting like his
whole argument's like there's not that much steroids in my blood system i'm like bro you're
a fighter you hurt people if you got steroids you're not allowed to hurt people for a while
and i love john jones i think he's the most brilliant fighter i've ever seen the best of You're a fighter. You hurt people. If you got steroids, you're not allowed to hurt people for a while. And I love Jon Jones.
I think he's the most brilliant fighter I've ever seen.
The best of all time.
He's the best of all time.
I mean, he can do things no one else can do, and he can game plan through anybody.
He game plans while fighting.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's crazy.
He figures out how to pick you apart while fighting.
He's Mayweather with knockout power with so many more tools in his bag.
You could take off one of Jon Jones' arms
and I literally think he'd still beat half those guys.
Yeah.
But this...
So I'm saying the good stuff,
but this picogram thing in his system,
it's like...
I don't know.
It seems like old boxing,
the show must go on,
like, you know,
got to sell tickets, so fuck the rules a little bit
i don't know i think uh he did take a lie detector test i didn't know that yeah he took a lie
detector test but he is a good get arrested he would get arrested for if like he would have got
he was under i'm i believe he was under oath it was like it wasn't something that he independently
contracted it was like through usada or vada i think it was through like the
i don't know the ufc fbi or who it was right but he took a legit polygraph when it comes to him
fighting and him doing the stuff in the octagon like there's no debate who the best of all time
is he is the best and i don't think that i don't think that a picogram is helping him at all.
Now, do I think that it's okay?
No.
I absolutely can't stand it.
And I think it should be completely banned from all sports.
Like, if you get popped, see ya.
But it is what it is.
It's interesting.
Because I bought the Gustafson fight.
So did I. It's interesting. Because I bought the Gustafson fight. So did I.
I loved it.
Even though he's my beef and I'm all against it, I bought the fight.
I'll watch him fight.
I mean, if he fights Brock, it doesn't look like that's going to happen.
I want him to whoop Cormier's ass again.
And I want them to fight at heavyweight.
Yeah, I want them to fight at whatever weight they want.
But why do we give John that benefit of the doubt that that the steroids don't help him but with everybody else like with vitor or with um overeem we we re-evaluate
it's a good point man i don't i don't i don't know and maybe i'm too maybe i'm his i i like him
too much that that i'm i just just try and hope for the best.
But I don't know.
Dude, when you read the comments,
more people are Team Jones than Cormier.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, Cormier gets roasted in his comments
when he says stuff about the drug testing policy.
Everyone's like, drug testing didn't get that left high kick
on your fucking dome, dude.
Yeah, like, get your hands up, bro.
But it's hard to understand why people don't like cormier because he's such a decent person
it seems like you think he's corny yeah he's i mean he's he'd whoop he'd whoop my ass but i just
think in their in their world he's some of the stuff he says is a little cheese dicky little whack yeah dude who is your beef of the week my beef
of the week the guy on the island of the fire festival scamming all those people nice it's
horrible i haven't seen the documentary but i've heard netflix yeah billy mcfarland you saw it
right my quote of the week is actually about that. The Fyre Fest.
Yeah. Let's hear it. Okay. Yeah. So let's get into my quote of the week. I was listening to the Slate Culture Gab Fest and they were reviewing the Fyre Fest docs. There was one on Netflix,
one on Hulu. A lot of people like the Hulu one more because they say it's more informative.
No way. I go Netflix, much better narrative. And I think the mistake that the Hulu one makes is
that they do all these generalizations about millennials that I just kind of don't like.
And I thought it was well said by Dana Stevens on her podcast, the Slay Culture Gab Fest, that I'm not that into generational divisions.
They often seem very arbitrary and molded around the arguments someone wants to make rather than based in any sociological reality.
someone wants to make rather than based in any sociological reality so take that hulu doc and take that people who are like oh young people are like this it's like dude everyone's kind of the
same it's a lot deeper than my quote of the week do you have your quote of the years yeah i got my
quote of the week hit it baby it's my favorite quote luck is the residue of design. That's deep as fuck.
Yeah, it's deep.
Who said that?
I don't know.
But I try and live that way.
But if you want to be lucky, you better work your ass off.
I believe that.
Fuck yeah.
You create your own luck.
Exactly.
You create that shit.
Cool.
You want to hear my quote?
Fuck yeah.
My quote is from Ashley Schaefer.
Who's that? From Ashley Schaefer and BMWs, Eastbound and Down. It's Will Ferrell's character. Cool. You want to hear my quote? Fuck yeah. My quote is from Ashley Schaefer. Who's that?
From Ashley Schaefer and BMWs.
Eastbound and Down.
It's Will Ferrell's character.
Okay.
He has like the blonde wig.
He's like,
I can feel it down in my plums.
Getting all swollen.
With a nice bluish hue to them.
Nice and juicy.
Ready for the pick up.
I had a dream last night.
I was making love
To my wife Donna
On top of her
Thrusting away
All the windows closed
So it gets sweaty
And hot
My hips thrusting down on Donna
She tries to get away
Cause she does not like it
Then I hear a rap at the door
My young son Gabriel comes in.
She said, no, Gabriel, leave.
I said, no.
Let the boy watch.
Let the boy watch.
That's my quote.
Dude, you got to search
search Will Ferrell in my plums.
You'll see that whole thing.
It's like the funniest thing.
He's hilarious.
He's amazing.
I want to just spend a day one day with Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I bet they bring it.
Okay.
Oh, wait.
All right, we got a mission statement from Billabong.
Billabong, famous for continuously setting a new standard in board sports
through youthful lifestyle brands and experiences.
Strong, but not as deep as Rip Curl.
Is that who we had last week?
Yeah.
Yeah, Rip Curl still got the top spot.
Are you all surfers?
I'm a surfer, yeah.
He is.
Do you ever snowboard?
I ski, actually.
Do you snowboard?
Oh, yeah, you used to.
I used to, yeah.
I play beach volleyball.
Do you? Yeah, a little bit. Are you the guy who plays beach volleyball, yeah, you used to. I used to, yeah. I play beach volleyball. Do you?
Yeah, a little bit.
Are you the guy who plays beach volleyball serious?
I've played in a couple tourneys,
but I'm not as serious as the old guys
who are readjusting themselves between points
and they're like, don't serve yet.
You're not the guy at the gym playing defense
when we were playing five on five.
Dude, I have been that guy
because I want to be a value add to the team.
I can't score, so I'm going to pick you up full up full court i know it's annoying you're picking me up full
court if i create a couple turnovers and i help my team win it's worth the embarrassment all right
i'm sorry you're picking me up i'm probably picking you up full court just a couple times
just to just to mix it up so i keep you guessing look i gotta help the team and i'm not i'm not
i'm not taking it to the hoop i'm not scoring off the dribble are you taking charges i'm probably trying yeah you're trying to take it
yeah and i also i try to be immediate when arguments break out i try to help both sides
and mediate because i feel like i got a strength there too it was a foul no it wasn't yeah no you
hit me on the arm i step and i say sir you kind of know that you're fibbing a little bit here the
ball clearly was off of you we'll give it to you this time but be be aware of it on the next one and then that never works by the way no no one
responds to that ever like horse shit you're like shut the fuck up bitch you're like okay all right
just trying to help go back to picking up picking me up full court yeah my friends like would tell
me after the game they're like dude that was pretty wild when you went full court defense
and i was like one time i dressed like I thought we were playing tennis that day,
so I wore like a polo.
And I came to the basketball courts instead.
And like the regulars there did not like me off the jump.
And then, yeah, we got a-
Who's this clown?
Yeah, they were like this-
Looks like a librarian.
As clown prep.
Yeah, and then by the end of it,
I was getting chased around the court
by one of the regulars,
who I guess works with kids,
but you would never know from his temperament.
Have you got any good pickup stories playing basketball no i really don't i was not good when i played i was back in high school but you're a good athlete obviously
i'm a d not d but i'm a decent athlete so yeah maybe just to summarize this whole thing what
do you most attribute then to you making it to the major leagues brain just being smart on the field smart in my preparation
and um very um just obsessed obsessed with the game fucking love it love everything about baseball i love my teammates i love winning i love
i love how it brings like athleticism thinking hand-eye coordination heart sweat tears everything
to the table and it's just all out there and you got 162 games and after that i had the best man
win 2017 we were the best man and we won 2018 got it shoved
up our ass and now it's back to back to the drawing board let's get after it again and win
another one we'll be cheering for you man yeah for sure oh yeah thanks you want to is that yeah
the guys i'll be it for episode 56 dude thank you so much for going deep with us it was really an
honor thank you so much man it was a pleasure thank you thanks guys thank you so much for going deep with us it was really an honor thank you so much man it
was a pleasure thank you thanks guys thank you appreciate it um guys check out our patreon
patreon.com slash chad goes deep uh as always we are sponsored by douglas lubricant the best lube
in the biz um tons of flavors they got vanilla strawberry original anal um and uh it's good company because guys you want to bone and you want to bone smooth
so when you bone bone with douglas they're also getting industrial so if you have an engine like
hit them up they'll lube it up and as always we're also sponsored by my dear friend daniel babona he's
a baseball coach at uci pitching coach if you're a young buckaroo and you got an arm or you can uh
hit the ball there's no better place than you could go than UCI baseball.
They should call it UC Newport Beach because it's right there.
Yeah.
Great spot to go.
And also, this podcast is brought to you by my YouTube channel.
Go subscribe.
YouTube.com slash Alex Bregman.
Alex Bregman.
And what's the podcast?
Breakfast with Bregs?
Bregs for Breakfast.
Bregs for Breakfast.
Like eggs for breakfast? Bregs for breakfast. Like eggs for breakfast?
Bregs for breakfast.
Like when you're hitting on a girl and you're like, how do you like your eggs?
I'm going to cook you some eggs in the morning.
Oh, what?
I didn't know about that line.
Oh, that's dice.
That's solid.
Dice.
Dice.
Which all-time great is the most overrated?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Which all-time great.
I think the game's changed so much now, man.
I saw a quote by one of the pitchers in the big leagues that said
he would strike out Babe Ruth every single time.
It's probably true.
I think I agree with him.
There you have it, Babe Ruth.
Adam Adovino, dirty slider.
Yeah, what's the filthiest pitch in the league?
I'm sorry, now I'm panicking that I haven't asked you enough.
Who's got the filthiest pitch in the league outside of your own squad?
If we're going fastball, I'd say Craig Kimbrell.
If we're going off-speed, I'd say Chris Saylor, Dylan Batances.
Now left-handed pitching, I'd probably say Sal and Snell are just dirty.
Thank you again, man.
Yeah, thank you.
Hell yeah.
Thanks, guys.
Guys, that's episode 56.
Thank you for tuning in.
Later.
Later.
If you need advice, these guys are really nice. later The half-naked girls beside you Going deep
Going deep
Let's go deep
I'm going deep
I'm going deep