Going Deep with Chad and JT - Ep. 83 - Howard Stern Recap, Spin Class, Prank Calls
Episode Date: July 31, 2019What up stokers, in episode 83, the two lords of stoke recap their epic experience on the Howard Stern Show and how we prepared for this momentous event. We discuss spin class and Chad's audition... to be a spin instructor and then dive into some more heavy topics along with some dank prank calls. Tune in!
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what's your theme going deep with chad and jt
oh wee what's up stokers of stoke nation this is chad kroger coming in with going deep with
chad and jt podcast guys welcome to episode 80 fucking... I was gonna check.
80 Stoke?
80 Stoke is good.
80 Amp? Guys, we got an exciting month
coming up for you guys. 83.
83. Welcome to episode 83. We have an exciting
month coming up for you guys.
It's gonna be dope, but for now, it's
my dog JT and I. Yeah, we've got some exciting
guests coming in. Some regulars and some new folks.
And, you know, we going to keep pounding the pavement
trying to get some interesting people in here
for the Stokers to listen to.
And it's been a while since we've been in here.
It's been like two weeks.
It's the longest hiatus we've had.
A little over.
Yeah, I miss it.
I miss the studio.
I miss chopping it up with you.
Yeah.
Aaron, miss you, dog.
Sorry, miss you too, dog. Thank you, brother. I was worried. I was anxious there was worried i was anxious i was like does he not miss me yeah
i was like i kind of cornered you yeah i was like i was like aaron what are you trying to think of
to say oh yeah it's just it's just turning this damn mic on takes forever i feel you but do you
be ready dude it's you know why it's because that hiatus yeah these muscles have atrophied a bit i'm
stuck on that word i don't even know that word until you said it. Which one? Hiatus. Yeah,
it's badass, right? Yeah, hiatus. But we learned a lot in our absence. Yeah, dude, we had a crazy
couple of weeks. We went to New York City to appear on the Howard Stern Show. Which was honestly
one of the coolest experiences of my life yeah we fly out to new
york we fly on different flights because i didn't want to wake up that early in the morning and then
um you got sidetracked to pittsburgh i got diverted that's another sick word how'd that feel to get to
get were you were you bumming when they were like hey we're not gonna make it not really to be honest
uh and also i like to isolate kind of before big stuff like that. For sure.
So it was kind of nice.
I was just on the plane just sort of chilling.
Although I was reading his book, and he transcribes his, like, best interviews.
So I was reading it, and I was like, damn, these guests are insane.
Like, it's Madonna, Jay-Z, Conan.
Icons.
Lady Gaga, yeah.
Yeah. And then the party bros what's up dude hopefully we're in
the second edition yeah dude when that thing goes to paperback and dude people keep asking about the
experience and like the only way i can describe it for me was like going like a roller coaster
yeah magic carpet ride dude doesn't even feel real yeah you're kind of uh i wasn't like i was present
but i was like it was almost an out-of-body experience i've heard people describe that and
i i know what they mean now yeah like it felt like it felt like it all happened in a blank
yeah and just like because i've been a listener for like 10 years so i was a big fan um and you
like you go into the office and like howard's voice is like booming over the speakers and you're
like oh fuck this is is where it happens.
And we're waiting in the green room.
And then they usher you.
And then we hear him talking about us, which is so cool.
Yeah.
And it's live.
And you hear Robin.
And we've got our name on the door.
Yeah.
And then his staff, they're characters on the show.
But then when you go in there, you kind of realize that they're really the staff.
Yeah, like Ronnie, the limo driver, is head of security.
And he's the one who greets us at the bottom of the building.
He's very stoic.
Yeah.
And then they usher you in, and it's like it's all rock and roll in there,
and it's just like, yeah, it was like doing DMT for Howard.
I was so pumped.
And then he's just like right there in front of you.
You're like, what up?
He's a lot closer to you than you'd expect because they shoot it in singles,
you know, so they're cross-cutting,
so you don't really get a frame of reference for the distance.
Yeah.
And so I just assumed it was like 20 feet.
When you're in there, it's like five feet from him.
Yeah.
Yeah, and he's staring at you the whole time, and he's smiling.
Yeah.
Like he keeps up a smiling, and you can see why he gets good stuff out of his guests
because he's kind of coaxing you with his like eager eyes.
He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, keep going.
He had this very magnetic charisma.
He was great.
And then Robin was a killer.
She's like- The sweetest. Yeah yeah and she just is like such a pro yeah she knows exactly when to interject and at the perfect times and has like the right she just adds to how much yeah she's
really special and then dude it was cool because we got in there like a day early and then we had
some stuff to do but we try to keep our schedules clear and then i I was the same way as you. I was just in that zone.
I was like, I've been building up my whole life to this.
I'm going to do this for my family.
I'm going to do this for my friends.
I'm going to do this for everybody.
And I was so hyped.
And then I went to SoulCycle in New York.
And I was the best cyclist of my life that day.
I was like, just, ah!
The instructor was like, I see you, JT.
I see you. And we see you and we were like
just making crazy eye contact and i was like man i am ready ready ready but i had trouble sleeping
that night i had to download this app calm that uh my gf recommended thanks sal and it uh it helped
put me to sleep because i had so much adrenaline i was like i was i started to scare myself that
i wouldn't be able to sleep and the time changed too yeah exactly yeah yeah i um that's awesome man i i soul cycle is the best it's a great way
to amp you up it's about dude i like it more in new york too because i think it's less culty
la is so culty every soul every spin instructor in la is like trying to like they're like they're
actors yeah and they want you to like they think they're too intense yeah like i went today and the guy's like if you're offended by what i'm saying i don't give a fuck
pedal i'm like i don't need it dude i was like take it down by half bro yeah and he's just and
it does get you jacked up but it's too much like the guy in new york was like fun that's why i
wanted to be a cycle instructor yeah tell those stories yeah honestly i moved to la eventually i started
teaching surf but before that i was like all right what's a cool way to get exercise make money while
i pursue this activism i went to like some cycling classes and uh it was kind of what i saw you know
i was like damn dude these guys get paid to amp up cougars. And I'm like, there's nothing cooler than that.
Not that that's what it's all about.
I also wanted to get people fit and ready and healthy and in a good state of mind.
It checks a lot of boxes.
All that is true.
Yeah.
Because they really do help people.
Yeah.
And you get to play bangers.
Yeah.
So I go to the tryout.
You have to audition.
You have to do one song.
So I chose some song.
I don't even know.
But I also had a massive fever.
And I was like, oh, bad timing, dude.
And so I was super weak.
And you have to go.
It's a group of 30 people.
It's like a full-on audition.
And you have to cycle through each person's song.
Each person gets a song to audition for.
And you're auditioning in front of all the other people who are auditioning.
Exactly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it was like 30 of us. i was number 27 oh so i was like
cycling like with a fever just like about to pass out and they're like all right for your
for your audition you need to inspire us you know dig from your real life and motivate us talk about
the struggles you've been through and stuff and you guys need to keep us in rhythm and all this stuff and i was like my struggles all right for sure so i get up there and i like dug deep and
i'm like i'm like what's up guys yeah um sometimes i get anxiety and you know what i push through it
now pedal i was looking at me like like what dude and i'm like yeah i get anxious sometimes like
it's i'm being really vulnerable up here on this bike and they said i was too chill that's hilarious
yeah dude i think they could use more chill in there dude these guys are over the top they're
hysterical yeah the way they're screaming at me sometimes, I'm like, dude, down by half, please. Like, wouldn't you want to go to a class with Chad who plays Santeria on repeat?
Oh, that sounds great.
Yeah.
It's like, all right, guys, we got a hill coming up, but no worries if you don't want to do it.
You know, you could just cruise.
I would love to do that.
All right, guys, we're strolling along the strand on the beach, and it's nice.
Yeah.
On three, on three, on my count. Let's wave to your boys to the left. three on my count let's wave to your boys to the
left all right now let's wave to your boys to the right all right now we're back to cruising now
take a sip now take a sip take a sip all right now i'm gonna throw on this banger by san sublime
again sandra let's throw on some revolution there this This is a Ska class, everyone. You don't really have to break a sweat.
All you got to do is feel good.
That sounds good.
The guy today was like a war leader.
Yeah.
He was like, we are in this together.
Fucking combat.
We are together in combat, motherfuckers.
Who wants to lose?
Losing means dying.
Is that what you want, motherfuckers? And don't worry what I think about you. All that matters that what you want motherfuckers and don't worry what i
think about you all that matters is what you think about you yeah it's like all this disjointed
thoughts and i'm like but half of it resonates like you said that part about only it only matters
what you think about you also i do worry too much about what people think about me
we are gonna firebomb tokyo today fellas ladies who wants to firebomb Tokyo today, fellas. Ladies, who wants to firebomb Tokyo today?
The city's made of mostly wood.
It's gonna burn.
It's D-Day, boys.
It's D-Day.
We're pulling up to the beaches.
Who's nervous about killing some krauts, huh?
Who doesn't want to step on a landmine?
We all step on landmines.
Life is full of landmines.
But today, we're gonna blow up the landmines.
Pedal, pedal, pedal.
All right, guys. World War I, trench warfare, mustard gas. You're gonna blow up the landmines pedal pedal pedal all right guys world
war one trench warfare mustard gas you're gonna get fucked up are you gonna power through they
just start pumping in gas grenade becky you look sexy as fuck crying like that i love to see you
keep pedaling keep that backup keep that backup dude that's what i wanted to do in my classes more than
anything is to like call out like people and be like nice work diane oh what up rebecca good to
see you good to see you becca what up all right let's pedal dude so yeah we did howard stern
crazy we go in there it was 20 minutes no it's 37 minutes and then um but it went by fast and
then when we came out i felt horrible yeah you you did i felt
horrible dude yeah you're like was that good i'm like what are you talking about i felt bad dude i
felt like i blew it and then because the fish names yeah that was tough i think i just built
it up so much in my head that it was inevitable like to be that jacked up the day before like
there's no place for all that adrenaline to go so it was just like it was just like a come down you know it was like coming off
molly or something like that where i was just like what the fuck and i didn't know what was
gonna bounce me back i got back to the hotel room i was like man i want to watch like some webcam
porn i was like in that state of mind where i was like i fucking don't know how to get rid of this
like kind of emptiness and i was like i was like this like the bleakest I've felt in a while.
But then you came through and you're like, Jimmy Tatro wants to grab beers.
And I was like.
We lit it up on IPA.
Yeah.
And then, dude, we got housed.
Missed our flight.
Missed our flight.
If you're listening, I'm doing rock and roll right now.
I had to do something like that.
I needed to like just blow off steam.
Well, we got to the airport and we were just blacked out yeah crushing ipas it was great great afternoon we got to the airport and you're like
oh dude i don't think we're gonna be able to make the flight and in my head i was like
fuck yeah yeah i was happy let's go back into the city we we missed our flights and then we just sat
on the ground at the airport for like two hours oh did we yeah we were just sitting there and then at some point i just turned over i was like all right dude let's go oh yeah and then we just sat on the ground at the airport for like two hours on the phones. Oh, did we? Yeah, we were just sitting there.
And then at some point I just turned over.
I was like, all right, dude, let's go.
Oh, really?
Yeah, and then we rolled back.
It was that long?
Maybe not that long, but it was at least an hour.
I was trashed.
And then, yeah, we went back into the city
and we went out with some of our comedian buddies,
Greg Warner, Pedro Salinas, Hannah Dickinson.
You guys know Hannah.
And the other two guys are Beast, Greg's former legend of the week.
And then my buddy John from high school, who's a fucking legend.
Good-looking guy.
Great guy.
Great-looking guy.
Excited for your wedding coming up, my dog.
Yeah, I want an invite.
We hung pretty hard, dude.
I think you'll definitely get an invite.
Oh.
Dude, I...
He listens to this, so he'll hear you say that and then we'll
know soon yeah john we had a great time right you guys had a lot of fun hitting that jewel oh dude
we were crushing the jewel dude the fucking mint pod that joe fucking jester came through in the
clutch and picked up also yeah dude after we got a stern i was on such a high because my brother
came that was awesome bill what up dude yeah bill what up and uh i was i was nervous because at
first andrew's like should we like do you want anyone to come and i was like my brother
lives there and i was like i was like hey bill do you want to come and i was like nervous because
like i was like if my brother's there will that be added pressure will that sort of like i thought
the same thing about bringing john uh but i was like you know what he's got to come this is like
a once in a lifetime thing so he came and uh and afterwards i was so pumped i was like i was like, you know what? He's got to come. This is like a once in a lifetime thing. So he came and, uh, and afterwards I was so pumped.
I was like, I was like, I gave him like the biggest hug.
I was like, so glad you were there.
Sorry.
I was, I was, I wasn't that bad before, but I was just like nervous.
So I was just like quiet, but then like, I was feeling good.
And then like, we opened up the tweets and like first tweet I see is this is dog shit.
Yeah.
I was like, fuck dude.
Like the first 15 were like that yeah but then like 80
percent of the response was good and then fucking twitter although there's one loyal stoker i was
i looked on the instagram and anyone who had a negative comment he was like where the fuck's
your stoke at dude why'd you raise it who are you trying to clown on and i was like this guy's a
beast shout out to uh maybe i'll shout him out find him i haven't seen you in a couple days i went to montana to visit my dad
yeah yeah montana's great dude no our buddy nick he's like because i go to idaho sometimes and
he's like he's like he's he's from montana he's like yeah idaho it's the uh it's the uh
it's the poor man's Montana.
Damn.
You got to go to Montana.
It's interesting being in Montana and being around like grass and mountains and rivers and stuff.
Because in LA, it's just people and apartment buildings.
We have so many billboards of people's faces.
Yeah.
Those are like our mountains.
It's just big celebrity billboards.
No, that is interesting.
You sort of forget about that when you get outside of LA. You're like, oh, the billboards are like normal. Like if I go to New Orleans,
it's all for like DUI lawyers. Yeah. Which is hilarious. Shout out to Burt Morris, my dog
in New Orleans, handing out those, getting people some good deals on DUIs. I remember when I- No,
Bart Morris, sorry. That's a better name. Yeah. When I went to Miami, they had billboards, and it would be like divorce lawyers only
for dudes.
Yeah.
The guy was like, I only represent the guys.
Dudes, where you at?
So you drive, and you're about to get divorced.
You're like, this fucking guy gets it.
I have sort of an announcement.
Oh, hit it, baby.
I have sort of an announcement.
Oh, hit it, baby.
So our buddy Dan, Dan and I, we have chosen to make a pact of sobriety.
Right.
I think it's going to be about six months.
Whoa.
Yeah. A no booze moratorium, a alcohol-free sabbatical, which I'm pumped on.
I think I'm going to feel great.
Yeah, absolutely.
And we have a big thing we're working on.
Yeah, we got a lot of work coming up,
so I want to be sound mind, sound body, sound dong.
And by that, I mean erect in my mind and body and dong.
So, yeah.
So, Stokers, if you want to join in, you know,
because accountability is fucking legit. So that's sort of if you want to join in, you know, cause accountability is fucking legit.
So that's sort of why I wanted to like make the announcement.
If any Stokers want to join in, do this, you know, no booze carnival that I'm going to
be on with Dan, join in, let me know, message me and we'll, uh, we'll celebrate at the end.
Fuck yeah.
With some Bud Lights.
Yeah.
You guys are going to crush it.
It's going to be a great journey.
Yeah. I'm pumped. Good luck to you guys. Thanks. Fuck yeah. With some Bud Lights. Yeah, you guys are going to crush it. It's going to be a great journey. Yeah.
I'm pumped.
Good luck to you guys.
Thanks.
All right, what else?
Chad, so we're coming into the football season.
I wanted to ask you a very specific question about who do you think is going to be the
top running back in fantasy football?
I put four down.
I put down four options.
I think Le'Veon Bell or James Conner, I'm a Steelers fan, could both sneak into this.
But just based off last year's performance, I think the four top candidates are Saquon Barkley, Ezekiel Elliott,
Christian McCaffrey, and Alvin Kamara.
Of those gentlemen, who do you think is going to be the top running back of next year?
Well, I saw this fire clip of Charles Barkley where he hit a golf ball
and he shanked it, and he's like, oh, you motherfucker.
It was on Barstool.
So because of that, Saquon Barkley, he's going to take the title.
Dude, I think you're right, man.
Nice.
Yeah.
That's one thing about the no-boost thing.
I'm like, I want to tailgate a Rams game.
Have you done your draft yet?
No, August 24th.
Oh, that's the Schmoll's wedding.
Yep.
Yeah, I have to miss Kevin's wedding,
but I'm going to his bachelor party this weekend, which I'm pumped for. Oh, that'll the Schmoll's wedding. Yep. Yeah, I have to miss Kevin's wedding, but I'm going to his bachelor party this weekend,
which I'm pumped for.
Oh, that'll be fun.
Yeah.
Dude, so what is your phrase of the week for getting after it?
This is a new thing we're doing where we say what our new phrase is.
Last week, I think I did a patch Adams.
I'm going to patch some Adams.
And you said.
It was like fornicating with Hunter S Thompson oh knocking the boots
with Hunter knocking boots with Hunter S Thompson what is your uh what is your phrase this week my
dog harnessing Zeus's lightning nice dude what about you mine is uh you want to come booty you
want to drink some come booty instead of kombucha come booty like let's no like more like come booty baby okay oh okay okay like let's come booty
come booty baby yeah all right dude sounds like an anal scene we uh i i sent you an article
uh that i saw on tyler cowan's website about age-weighted voting so basically the young
will experience the effects of policies past day for the greatest length of time but this is not
reflected in their voting power put differently the time horizon of self-interested older voters is short so perhaps
this biases the political system towards short horizon policies such as deficit spending or
kicking the can down the road on global warming philosopher william mccaskill offers an alternative
age-weighted voting so basically what would happen is is that if you were like 16 or if you were 16 i'm an idiot if
you're 18 your vote is worth like six votes if you're like 75 your vote is worth one vote and
then it's like a sliding scale from 18 to there yeah i don't like this idea no because i don't
think people are as why i don't think people are very wise when they're young. Yeah.
I think they vote based off emotion.
And your brain isn't fully developed until you're 25.
But I think old people vote on emotion just as much.
I think you're a little more wise.
I do agree with you.
I don't know if I trust 18-year-olds being the complete voting power,
but I do think that different forms of irrationality
seem to manifest themselves in every age group. I think it should be sort of like a,
when you're like 35 to like 45, that's when you have the most voting power.
When you're like 18. So it sort of is like a pyramid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like you
have some when you're 18, and it goes up as you increase in age,
and then there's an apex maybe when you're like 50.
What do you think the percentage is of people that are actually informed?
Like vaguely aware, 40%, Well-informed, 15%.
I trust their judgment, like 5%.
That sounds about right.
Yeah.
I don't know, though.
And honestly, I don't think those numbers move much.
I think, like, this is kind of suggesting it's kind of a fixed number.
Yeah.
Like, Bill Burr talks about comedians.
He's like, any show you go to, to there's always gonna be three people who are
good one guy or a gal who might be great and then like seven people who suck and it's just always
that way regardless of whether it's like alternative or or club or what scene you're in
yeah i think i think they should uh explain policy in a much more relatable way you know
it's like and they go by region you know so if you're in like SoCal, they're like explaining policy.
They're like, all right, so this policy is going to be a massive swell.
It's going to be like double overhead, epic conditions.
You're like, oh, that sounds like a good policy.
Yeah.
I mean, you got to make this esoteric stuff understandable.
Like if I had Surfline explaining um policy to me i'd be on
board i'd be much more inclined to read dude my dad grilled me on financial stuff this past weekend
yeah i got your text yeah because i was relaying i was like can you send me all this paperwork
because my dad was just like he's like do you have your k1 and i was like what the fuck's a k1
yeah that's what you texted me that i had to google it he's like he's like you get that from
your accountant i'm like um he's like do you have an accountant i was like um and then he was like, what the fuck's a K1? He texted me that. I had to Google it. He's like, you get that from your accountant. I'm like, he's like, do you have an accountant?
I was like, and then he was like, send me the paperwork now.
And I was like, dad, people are busy.
He's like, get it now.
I've been asking for this for months.
And I was like, dad, don't yell at me.
He's like, I'm not fucking yelling at you.
I'm worried about you.
He's definitely yelling at me.
But I fucking super deserved it.
So I had to just sit there and fucking wear it.
And then I was just like, god damn it. I am dumb. Did he get the paperwork? I got it yeah and then i was just like god damn it i am dumb did he get the paperwork i got it yeah and i feel
better for getting it so he's looking at it yeah well it's hard i mean you're trying to come up
with dank causes for the council you know and it's like and then you have like these accounts coming
in they're like what about your w2 and i'm like w hue yeah i'm going to manhattan beach later
dude it's because the stuff i'm good at it's
really easy for me to work really hard at and then the stuff i'm bad at it's hard and then
with my dad the stuff he really cares about is like the financial nitty-gritty like he loves
that stuff so he's great at it the stuff he doesn't care about is like his diet yeah and
it's hard for him to be good at that like he just doesn't have much discipline when it comes to that
stuff yeah and for me it's like and i would have to say i think my dad's probably might have a better array of attributes but uh it's like um
it's just hard for me to like put my invest myself into that stuff when i just like but it's so
important you know what i mean and i know he's right i'm just like oh man like no it's good
yeah but it's just in the moment i just i'm prideful the k1 the k1 the k1
south yeah um um there was a big heist in colombia guys the country a burglar lifts two million
dollars worth of body shaping faja undergarments which are like a pantyhose basically these
burglars came prepared they cut a hole through the concrete roof and shimmy down into the warehouse they disabled the alarms they escaped with two million worth of
goods the stolen booty 34 000 pairs of high-end fajas a spanx-like undergarment popular in
miami's hispanic community the robbery took place last year and was only made public recently david
oh why did it say in columbia oh no a miami journalist has been reporting the story from south florida
uh dude danny ocean taking advantage of the butt craze smart it's a big trend right now
asses are huge and people are loving them so good on danny ocean for um you know taking advantage of
the spanx stuff i do like it when criminals get away with stuff
and there's no, no one gets hurt.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Especially when like Brad Pitt and George Clooney are involved.
You're rooting for him.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
Aaron was telling me about a, what's the show again?
I'm going to write it down.
The Man in the High Castle.
The Man in the High Castle.
I gotta watch that.
Have you watched it?
No.
It's about like what would happen if the nazis had won sounds scary yeah they like the i mean it's the beginning of the show but they like nuked dc oh fuck yeah and it's relevant to us
because we're reading the book the bastard brigade we're gonna have the author sam keen on in a
couple days and the book is basically the race to get nuclear weapons during world war
ii and some of our soldiers and scientists who were um put together to try and kidnap or stop
the the german scientists yeah i'm halfway through um all right and then the last article was uh does time matter if there is no night?
It's midnight in
Samaray, but the sun is still shining on this
Norwegian island. The clock strikes 12,
but the island's residents are playing, working,
fishing, and socializing. Nighttime
commands sleep, but Samaray doesn't want to listen.
If the 350 residents
of Samaray get their way,
the clock will stop ticking and alarms will cease
their noise. A campaign to do away with time keeping on the island has gained momentum as
norway's parliament considers the island's petition why do we need time and clocks when
there is no night reads the campaign's facebook page so during these 70 days where there's no
darkness they just don't want to have time yeah i like that because that'd be sweet
you know you just do what you want when you want and i think you'd be more efficient like today i
was reading the book and then i felt the urge to take a power nap i took a power nap and i kept
reading the book and i hit the jewel and uh then i made some eggs and i'm like that's how your day should go yeah not worry i'm a slave to time time's a construct
made by a contractor i think yeah einstein said uh time is what we created to make motion look
simple yeah my dog should we get into the questions yeah all right first up we have
anonymous what's up ambassadors of stoke? Coming at you with a
self-confidence problemo. I'm about to be a junior in high school. I'd say I'm a pretty good looking
guy and have a good personality, but there is a major problem. I like that you got confidence,
dog. I am super short, only 5'4". I've checked up with a couple of doctors that all say I'm done
growing. Being this low to the ground really makes it difficult with the ladies and often lowers my
Stoke. I've had multiple crushes say they don't have interest because
of my height. Ouch. What's something I can do to boost my self-confidence and get over my height?
P.S. Love the pod. I wouldn't let it get you down too much, dude. Invest in your passions.
Invest in bettering yourself. just take this as a chance
to be the best dude you can be you know a lot of people who end up super tall they end up like
with not a great personality or just kind of boring or just they they everything comes too
easy and their boring personality sticks out because they're so huge you're like oh who's
that big guy and there's yeah who's that big who's that big boring fuck um so he's chill yeah he's chill um
so yeah i would just you know just dominate in all other areas of your life and that would
you know not that you have to make up for it because you have to make up for it but
um use that as motivation baby you're cruising dude yeah i knew so many guys soccer players
who were killing it with the ladies and they all checked
out under 5'8 all the way down to 5'4 and you know you're you're a good looking adorable dude man
that that has cachet regardless of how high up you are dude especially if you move to a place like
la everyone's short here i mean i grew up in orange county where everyone's a 6'4 thoroughbred
and it was a little daunting but then i came LA, and it's a short man's paradise.
You're just going through a period
where when you're in high school, dude,
we're all reflecting on our shortcomings,
and then over time,
we just learn to accept them,
and then pretty soon you forget about them.
Yeah.
Let me do a mid-roll before we keep going.
Please, dog.
All right, dude.
What's up, my dudes?
My name's Anya from Bellingham, Washington.
I wanted to know your thoughts on legalizing restaurants for dogs.
I don't know if they're actually illegal or not, but I've never seen one,
and it's a really good idea, so I can only assume that the government are the ones that don't allow them to be made.
Please give your thoughts ASAP, as possible.
Wait, what was the first part?
You don't have to put the as possible on the ASAP, but maybe you wanted it super possible.
As possible as possible.
Yeah.
What was the first part?
They want to know your thoughts on legalizing restaurants for dogs.
I don't understand what they're saying.
Yeah, I see dogs in restaurants all the time.
Are they saying to eat dogs?
Yeah. Are you talking to eat dogs? Yeah.
Are you talking about eating dogs?
Because I don't think that's going to get much momentum in our culture.
Yeah.
And I have to say I'm against it.
I think you're more likely to get eating humans legalized.
Yeah, absolutely.
So if that's what you're asking,'s gonna be a hard no and i'd say find the nearest dog
and pet them and realize that you can get your steak from elsewhere appreciate the question yeah
what is up my dogs
jt you once said on the pod that you're a huge fan of the 10 years down the line game
um yeah what i was saying there is like basically um i would just be like
when i'd be like flirting with girls i liked i'd be like i'd be real gentle about it i'd be like
yeah this isn't gonna like she's not gonna hook up with me this summer but like 10 years from now
she's gonna like look back on all of our cumulative experiences with each other and be like
man i want to hook up with jt um i'll cut to the chase to keep it short for the pod, but there's this girl I was in love with growing up. She moved away, but now she's
coming back after eight years. In the meantime, I've laid out a solid picnic of a life with some
dank ukuleles playing in the background. That's my parable of the unicorn. You can't chase the
unicorn through the forest. You'll just burn it down. You just have to have a pretty picnic,
and the unicorn will walk right up to you. Waiting for this unicorn that got away to stumble back out of the woods.
What the Sultans of Stoke would do in this situation?
What's my best move?
Do I go all out romantic or keep it casual?
I'd keep it casual and amp it up slowly.
I wouldn't go all romantic at first because you don't want to run the risk of scaring her off like
she'd be like i built this house for you and she's like oh okay it's a lot of pressure yeah you can
put too much pressure on someone come build a house you're like you're like you're back that's
a really nice thing to do you're back i made an entire fucking city for you and they're like what
yeah i think and i you know i would i would
you know i'm a 10-year plan so you're talking about eight years so i don't want you know
you're rushing it a little bit yeah but but i would um you sound like a romantic dude so i think
even if you're tempered down you're still going to come across as a romantic dude because that's
just your essence so i would i would do a Chad saying, and I would be available,
and I would say that you want to hang out,
and then just let the other stuff unfold organically.
Yeah.
Just hang out.
Go grab some vodka sodas and offer your jewel judiciously.
No, not judiciously.
Liberally.
Liberally.
Yeah, baby.
Love you guys. Wish the other Stokers wouldally. Liberally. Yeah, baby. Love you guys.
Wish the other Stokers would keep this part a little shorter, though.
He goes,
Recently started making sweet love to my brother-in-law's younger sister.
She's had a crush on me for a while now, and I don't really see a future,
but we kind of hang out in the same crowd, and we get drunk,
and one thing leads to another.
So last weekend, I ended up back at her place.
She just moved into a new house and doesn't have any furniture
except a mattress in the
front room and bed sheets for curtains.
She left her wallet on the street somewhere and it ended up, got back to her brother,
my brother-in-law, who then ended up pounding on her door at 8 a.m.
She freaks out when she looks out the peephole, tells me to hide under the blanket as her
brother comes rushing in to check on if she's okay when she opens the door.
Pardon me.
I'm six foot nine and my feet are hanging out of this blanket as he's storming around asking why she hasn't answered her phone.
And I'm laying there thinking, what should I do?
I can't just lay here and act like he doesn't know it's me.
So I sit up and I'm like, what's up?
There's a bit more detail, but I guess not too important to what my question is.
Really?
I wanted to know what happened there.
How did the brother react?
What's up?
He said, what's up?
And then we don't get the brother's response.
Yeah.
You cut too early there, dude.
The audience wants to see that scene.
I just denied that we had sex to my sister who is married to her brother,
which marinate may not be true that night,
at least since we were both super messed up and I think we just passed out.
So I cannot exactly ask her though.
Fact is we have made sweet love in the past and i'm not sure if i should just
carry on denying it or just be like hey man you're sleeping with my sister what's the big deal
i have a there's kind of a weird logic there i have a type i wouldn't say that though but i
understand where you're coming from um dong for a dong dude i have a tight family four sisters all
older than me all married with kids and we always get together for their birthdays and we're even just a scrabble night with the parents camping trips etc i'm 22
the young the youngest and so she as i see it the only way i can make my brother-in-law happy is if
by chance this leads to us getting married someday as for right now though my family thinks of me as
a bit of a player or something not the ideal boyfriend marriage material for any girl i may
come across on friday night hope this wasn't too confusing. If not, I have another one about my older sister's stepdaughter that,
coincidentally, I may have also made sweet love to that I will send in
another time.
Thanks, bros, and keep killing it.
The interview with the Astros player was awesome.
I listened to Dan Patrick for years, and you guys were bouncing back and
forth on the interview with him like you've been doing this for years.
Oh, thank you, man.
That's really nice.
Yeah, Doug, I don't think you and this girl are going to end up getting married.
At least not at this point.
You sound like you still got some wild oats to sow, I think is the saying.
Yeah, I would just, you know, try and limit the recklessness
and just sort of see how the situation plays out, you know.
And if feelings are hurt, if it causes a lot of drama
and you don't see a serious future with this girl,
then I'd take that into consideration.
Yeah, that's the thing.
Yeah, you've got to be decent.
And if you're going to be like, and if your intention is you're like,
I just want to, you know, play around.
I want to play the field and stuff.
Then, yeah, when it comes to like family i would
uh it's be a little more careful you know it i think you might look back on it and be like man
that wasn't so cool you you titled this email f and my sister and then you oh yeah and then you
talk about how you slept with someone else who's i think you're doing a lot of stuff for the story
yeah and that's normal and natural at that age but yeah and they don't all have to be about boning you can write stories about other stuff too and you know what
the story it's usually it's not as cool as you think you're like oh i'm gonna tell this story
like like isn't this hilarious dude and they're like yeah it's all right and you're like oh was
that worth it yeah um um but you're probably cool dude. You're just getting after it. F'ing my sister.
Being an A-roader, I was just like, well, fuck yeah.
I recently got an invite to hit some bars with guys
that were top-notch, cool seniors when I was a freshman.
I made friends with one of the bros during a golfing trip from Mutual Friends.
These bros are banging chicks and partying.
I took some advice from you guys during episode 25
and fucked with them a bunch,
and one of the guys got super offended when I told him that he dances like a skank hoe now they all feel like they're disrespecting
the guy who doesn't like me if they bring me around do i beat this sally's ass and ditch the
squad or just ditch the squad i'm kind of confused he tried to hang out with these dudes and he just
ended up uh like uh and he just insulted one of the guys and now they don't want to want him around
anymore he wants to know if he should beat up the guy he insulted or if you should just bail like uh and he just insulted one of the guys and now they don't want to want him around anymore
he wants to know if he should beat up the guy he insulted or if he should just bail
do you think you should just bail bro what up savants of stoke my brother and i got into a
fight at my mom's beach wedding last night because he was talking shit about my stepsister and me
behind our backs things escalated very quickly when i confronted him with why are you telling
everyone stepsister and i are being awkward i realized i was in the wrong and tried apologizing but that only made things worse so
my question is how do i clear the air and make things chill again we have seven more days at
the beach and i don't want there to be any animosity beat this dude's ass dude you gotta
kick this guy's ass man he disrespected you he didn't think you were funny it's
who's the guy again who's he in a fight with his brother oh dude you gotta kick your brother's ass
dude um but also for this dude you know you're at the beach dude and you know what heals more
than anything salt water and sunlight so why don't you just soak that up feel it in your skin and your pores and then let that vote vitamin d maybe like uh
you know tan your whole body manscape before of course and just let those good vibes flow through
you and let them heal your brother as well and it will be smooth sailing my friend like you're on a
freaking norwegian cruise line
just cruising to jamaica dude i couldn't agree more dude i think if you want to settle this
riff between you and your bro the best thing you can do is just get a tan dude if you have a fire
tan that's going to make your brother happy that's going to make you happy and then you're going to
be really surprised at how easy it is to just build a bridge between
you guys past this moment.
All right, dude.
Last question.
What up, Chad and JT?
It's my third year of college and recently found myself an ultra dank girlfriend dating
for three months.
She is intelligent, driven, and an absolute beauty.
However, I can't get up, get, get over her past.
She broke up with a boyfriend of four years around a year and a half ago and dove off
the sexual deep end, racking up bodies in some crazy sexual scenarios. Threesomes, orgy, and even three guys at once.
Straight up gang bang. When I think about her past, my stoke drops to an all-time low. She's
the perfect girl for me and I love everything about her, but until I get over her past,
I can't fully open myself up to the relation. We have talked extensively about it. She has
expressed how much she cares about me and that those sexual experiences don't mean much to her,
but I'm still struggling to get over her past. any advice for a stoker battling this inner turmoil fuck
puseo congrats on the big hog joe dude i respect him for being open about this i mean it's
when you're in a relation it's like hard to like come to terms with
your partner's sexual past yeah no matter how minor how minor or major, you know, it's something you just got to learn
to, you know, accept them as a person,
you know, and understand
that they were an independent person before you.
It has nothing to do with him.
Nothing to do with you, yeah.
Yeah, and dude, they said it on Loveline a million times,
less history, more mystery.
Yeah.
Like, it's kind of a bummer
that you had to find all this stuff out.
I don't think it helps much.
But dude, honestly, like, if that was the road it took for her to get to where she is now where she's ready to love you and there was no betrayal of you you know she didn't know you
at this time she was just figuring shit out man people are complicated and i mean yeah it's like
it's a lot but i think with time you can get past it and just try not to like, just be honest with her when you're feeling it, but try not to like, you know,
I don't think you will. You sound like a good dude, but like, don't like, you know, um,
don't be mad at her about it basically. Yeah. I would just, cause then it's gonna make her
feel extra bad about it. Yeah. I would just work your way through it. And, um,
yeah. And oftentimes after a breakup
especially you know people act out and they um they're just trying to process things emotionally
and it's not really a reflection of who they are and it's unfair the way we treat people because
if it was you with all those stories like if it was you in an orgy or with three chicks at the
same time yeah we'd all be like dude you're the fucking man yeah and like dude your girlfriend
shouldn't be mad at you about that.
You know what I mean?
So there's a double standard there too.
Yeah.
Like if with my partner or partners in the past,
if I ever like heard about the sexual history or whatever,
it would like irk me a little bit.
But then I have to take a step back and I'd be like,
oh, well, I have a sexual history too.
Yeah.
You know?
And I don't think I made anything of those past things really. Oh, yeah mean when you think back on it you're like who gives a fuck yeah yeah like just
10 years from now you're gonna be like who gives a fuck it was like a brief moment in time there's
way worse things i mean she could just be awful she could just be an awful fucking person to deal
with that'd be a lot worse than what her sexual past is yeah for sure what up chad and jt last
one we got one more i'm really loving your pod these days
and it really boosts my stoke life my stoke while i'm riding to work i want to ask you guys an
important question how can i get my boyfriend to go down on me more i know he's heard you guys
talking about striders dank tongue dart and so i was hoping he'd get that message too and maybe
you guys can give a shout out to all the guys that should be treating with, exclamated. Their ladies write more often.
When I say exclamated, what's the word?
Capitalize?
Capitalize is what I meant.
Thanks, dudes, and stay stoked.
Dude, this question could not have come at a better time
because on my way here, I listened to my neck, my back,
and it encouraged me to put my neck into it
and really just get
after it go from the crack all the way up the front for sure that's a fire hit dude my neck
my back lick my pussy and my crack lick it good lick it good lick this pussy just like you should
do that was very informative for me as a young man to hear that song. Yeah. Like. It let me know.
Passion.
Get into it.
It let me know too.
Because she's telling you what she wants.
I would tell you to tell him.
Say, hey, this will get me really going.
Yeah.
I think.
Yeah.
You just got to be honest with him and tell him what you want and be specific.
Yeah.
I love being informed.
I love being instructed.
Yeah.
Be specific.
I'm a competent novice.
I'm here to learn, baby.
Yeah.
Because if you're like specific, I know just for me personally if i got like specific instructions i'll be like
oh fuck yeah i'm gonna do exactly yeah now i know what to do yeah yeah you're leading me through the
wilderness thanks for the compass yeah and uh yeah yeah and lick it good and yeah play my neck my
back all the time repeat whenever you're with him alexa my neck my back yeah boyfriend's like uh
during dinner you're like yeah yeah and then soon enough that subliminal message is gonna get in
there dude if i came home my gf was cranking my neck my back on repeat just make him a playlist
you know old school on a cd 17 songs all my neck my. And send him on his way to work.
He's going to come home and be like, oh.
And then send him videos on Instagram of you just listening to my neck, my back while you drive.
Yeah.
Which is subliminal messaging.
Let's pump in the messaging, baby.
Yeah.
Like whenever I think of cleaning, I think of bald dudes.
Yep.
Because of Mr. Clean.
Whenever I think of. Syrup. Aunt think of um syrup and jemima and jemima whenever
i think of um kleenex i think of tissue whenever i think about the national guard i think about
three doors down oh wow yeah whenever i think of pepsi i think of britney spears who taught me the
joy of pepsi love you britney all dude. Let's keep it pushing. Chad,
who is your
beef of the week? All right. I couldn't think
of one, so I'm just going to stream of consciousness
right now. Oh, baby.
Zen.
Linear thinking does not exist. Everything
is now.
My beef of the week is coming in on
fleek. And you know what it's going to be?
Me forgetting to bring a
reusable grocery bag to the grocery store i have not done it once and i have to get new bags every
time nice dude and uh it just annoys me that we have to make bags out of plastic for groceries
and you know what it does not please me that the environment does not appreciate what i'm putting down when i say that i
hate having to buy bags at the grocery store um no more no more but it's just like a lot in my
dome to remember to bring that reusable bag and honestly i feel like i kind of look lame carrying
it which it shouldn't be because it's cool to care for the earth and you know what
strider is a freaking legend and i think chad just gave birth yeah there we go i was gonna say
dearth i'm like i don't know that well i think the environment will be in pain no more dearth
no more dearth whatever what's your beef dude my beef of the week is uh i got like doubles for everything because it's been so long uh my first beef of the week is with uh i'm just gonna use a
real name jill burley who's that really good friend of mine mebus burley's mom and uh you know
i love jill we've known each other for, you know, 20 years now
or something, but at the end of the year in seventh grade, I was going to have the party.
And the best part about parties in junior high was the freak dancing. A lot of people call it
grinding, but when you're in junior high, it's called freak dancing. And there had been a problem
with the last couple of parties that there was too many parents intensely chaperoning. And so I specified on my invitation
for the end of year party that parents had to stay in the house with my parents and could not
come out to the backyard where the festivities would be taking place. Party comes around,
all the parents abide by my mandate, except for one, Jill Burley, dude. She stands there outside the dance floor staring.
Nobody's on the floor.
They know what she's there for.
Harsh.
Dude, I walk around and other kids are like, dude, this party sucks.
And I started crying.
I was like, fuck, man.
We weren't even good at freaking yet, you know?
We were just little rabbits.
Little innocent rabbits.
It's that old saying, hurt people hurt people.
Dude, my second beef, I won't go too into depth
because we're going to talk about it next week,
is Quentin Tarantino.
What?
I saw Once Upon a Time in Hollywood
and I found it a bit tedious.
Although Brad Pitt was awesome,
and you have to give credit to Tarantino for that.
That's a bummer.
Yep.
Sorry, dude.
I might see that tonight.
Very repetitive.
A lot of digressions.
We only need one reenactment from another movie.
We don't need 20 of them, all right?
Aaron, I see you nodding along.
Yeah, yeah.
I saw it a couple nights ago. I enjoyed it,
but the marketing of it really threw me for a loop because it leads you to think it's about
one thing and it's not. And there's a leaner movie in there that I think would have been better.
There is, for sure. Like there's two scenes of people racing through the Hollywood Hills on cars.
And of course I get nostalgic for an LA with no traffic, but I didn't need two of them. You know what I mean?
I just need one baby.
Yeah.
I,
um,
yeah,
I keep hearing that there's this like surprise twist in the end.
That's what they kept saying.
They're like,
don't say anything about the ending.
It's,
it's,
it's,
it's,
it's,
uh,
we'll,
we'll,
we'll have to talk about it next week.
Yeah.
I'll holster the rest of my,
uh,
opinions.
Um,
Chad,
who is your babe of the week my babe of the
week uh is robin quivers i've made her my babe before but yeah she was so lovely i gotta make
her my babe again robin what up you're a freaking babe a genius a legend um and uh i've already
explained you know her accolades before she's in the navy before she
joined howard on this amazing journey that they went on and then just conquered terrestrial radio
moved to satellite and just beasted it but she's such a comforting presence in the studio and uh
you can see why howard loves her so much you know she gets it she gets it she's playing along
she's not judgy.
I guess she could be judgy in the right times,
but she's like a very positive energy and just an amazing voice
and just the best.
So I just wanted to give her props.
You're a babe, and I love you.
That's well said, man.
My babes of the week are the ladies of fleetwood max stevie nicks and
christine mcvee or mcveigh i never get it right you know steve nicks the ethereal angel um you
know kills it on gypsy dreams landslide you can watch that youtube clip of her singing wild heart
um but christine mcvee also is like just this grounded goddess with the more earthy voice and she murders it on You Make Loving Fun and Everywhere and Say You Love Me.
Just a bunch of classic Fleetwood Mac songs.
They have such a good catalog.
I can't stress enough to people that they got to get in there and enjoy both because they're really just absolute babes.
And it's crazy that they were in the same band.
That band had too much talent.
Yeah, and then I saw Fleetwood Mac, and then the drummer was a beast, too.
He had this just solo while everyone was going on break.
He's like, I'm going to stay out here and drum.
And he's just like.
A lot of talent.
Yeah.
And they're all on blow.
Wild.
Chad, who is your legend of the week?
It's Howard Stern.
What up, Howard?
I've made you a legend before.
I miss you, dude.
Dude, you have, he's just, you guys, I mean, you guys know the deal.
He's a fucking legend.
And just this fire charisma that, like, you really just,
when you're in there with him, it's just, like, it's so magnetic
and just he's so interested.
He's just so talented with keeping the conversation going driving everything forward
creating an epic show and just changing me he's the king of all media and he deserves all the
accolades and uh i just uh i really want to hang out with him again, so he's my legend. For sure. I hope we get to see him again.
I got a good feeling about it.
My legend of the week is two again.
I'm sorry, guys.
I'm verbose.
First up, Dick Vermeule, the football coach.
He cries a lot.
He says it embarrasses him, but he can't help but cry a lot.
He's just a sentimental guy, and he won a Super Bowl.
And then I got to give it up for my sophomore year rager that I had.
Look, I was a young man, just turned 16, just got my license. I was eager to make a name for myself.
I'd had a party right before winter formal and it was a wild bacchanal. A lot of stuff got stolen.
A lot of people had fun. A couple of fights broke out. I felt really good about it, but I knew I
could do better. My parents grounded me after that one, when they checked their voicemail, I got in trouble, but my parents
still went out of town a couple months later with no supervision for me because, hey, they got to
live their lives. And so I decided to have the biggest party of all time. And I didn't want it
to be that big, but it just started to get out of control because I started telling people about it
weeks in advance and they were so amped on the first party that people knew the second one was
just going to be a spectacular thing.
And so someone posted my email address or posted my address online.
And so kids from every school started hearing about it.
And there was so much like noise about it.
The teacher started to come up to me at school and they're like, JT, I heard about this party
you're having on Friday.
I'm honestly a little scared.
You got to shut it down.
I said, Mr. Nielsen, it's too far along.
The wheels are already in motion. I can't stop it. All I can try and do
is minimize the damage. And he was like, all right, good luck. I hid all of my parents'
possessions in one room and then I locked all the rooms so people couldn't get in there. And
then I had my friends jump out the windows. Thanks for Danny Babona for being a great athlete.
And I parked all of our cars way far away and hid the keys. And like so many people came through and it was just so wild.
And I was in a Speedo the whole time and everybody was drinking and there was like 40 year olds
there and there was like Nazis. And then there was like anti-Nazi people and they fought it out.
And the anti-Nazi people won, which was really uplifting. And then the next day I just hung out
and this girl had a huge crush on Christie was there and she kept getting phone calls. And this
was way before anyone thought he was going to be president. I was like, this girl I had a huge crush on, Christy, was there. And she kept getting phone calls. And this was way before anyone thought he was going to be president.
I was like, this girl gets more phone calls than Donald Trump.
Joke bombed.
She couldn't wait to get out of my house after that.
But I ended up hanging out with these guys from other schools who had spent the night who I didn't even know.
And we had a really good time just like shooting hoops and shooting the shit.
And, yeah, nothing that bad happened.
It was actually a pretty easygoing night.
I mean, everyone just got wasted my little
brother got wasted he walked up the stairs he's like i love you i was like i love you dude
and uh yeah it was a great great party that's awesome chad what is your quote of the week
my quote of the week's from howard stern i didn't listen to executives. Nice. Follow your own heart.
Follow your soul.
Follow whatever makes you most jazzed up and freaking stoked on.
My quote of the week is from the movie The Descendants.
I think it's Alexander Payne's last good movie.
It's not as good as Election, but it's rock solid. You got George Clooney playing a little against type,
and he does a good job.
And it's Shailene Woodley's best performance still.
And it has interesting stuff about what we owe to the people who came before us
and what we owe to the people who can't be there for us anymore.
And there's a really good quote where he's confronting the guy
who was sleeping with his wife.
Now his wife's in a coma, so he can't really get mad at her about it. And he's confronting the guy who is sleeping with his wife now his wife's in a
coma so he can't really get mad at her about it and uh he's confronting it's played by matthew
which is interesting i think that he you know uh steals clooney's uh wife and then um and then he
goes it just happened that's what matthew lillard says he goes it just happened the affair it just
happened and then george clooney goes nothing just happens. And then Lily looks back at me and goes, everything just happens.
And I was like, whoa.
You know?
Because I can project a lot of motivations and plans and awareness on other people that I don't think is super accurate all the time.
I think people are just living their lives and accidents happen and we're messy and things get fucked up, you know?
And of course, you know, there's some ugliness in all of us, but we're planning on doing this stuff it just fucking happens so you got to be kind of easy you gotta be easy on
people nice for sure that was inspiring thank you dude should we try a prank call someone yeah sure
let's see i got someone if you yeah i should call from my phone yeah aaron do i just plug it in yeah
um all right this is my who is it this is girl elizabeth and what's the who what's the angle uh
we went to high school together she's a sweetheart she just had her second baby so what's the angle
um maybe we're exterminators and we're coming by to termite the house to put a tent on the house
yeah and we're gonna be there in 20 minutes and we're lost what's her name again elizabeth
all right what's her number uh one i was about to say it out loud i forgot we're doing a
a broadcast that'd be hilarious how wasn't thinking this i'm nervous
and i'm gonna be like your crazy partner in the background i've been like i don't know
what the hell is going on here we might just have to keep calling people i know this is the thing about prank calling it takes
endurance your call has been yeah darn it and nobody picks up unknown numbers i know
all right this let's get this guy christian holby from my buddies who are listening
Not Hernandez
Should we just prank call Kevin
But just call from our phone
Nah
We'll keep trying we don't have anyone
We can cut this down in post
Damn
Kendra
We have that call at 5, too.
Oh, we do?
Your call has been...
All right, we'll do one more after this and then bail.
We gotta get someone.
Yeah.
My friend Ray, but she might be too savvy.
Let's try it.
All right.
Hi, you've reached the voicemail.
That's funny.
Dude, when we have the author on
on Thursday, we should have him
prank all people with this.
Hello, this is Ray.
Hi, Ray.
This is Roger with Terminix.
With Terminix, we're with Terminix.
We're here to put the tent over your house to fix the termite problem.
We're just having a little trouble finding your address.
Oh, damn it.
Was that not convincing?
No, you were great.
That was great.
I was like, dude, I was like i was like oh man we got it all
right let's try one more let's try one more damn damn i told you she's too savvy yeah okay this
one's good this one's good yeah and this this person is is savvy in different ways but not
savvy in the way of prank phone calls damn right i'm gonna text you about that later you really Damn, Ray.
I'm going to text you about that later.
You really freaking put the pen back in it.
Hello?
Hi, this is Roger with Terminix.
We're just here to... We're installing the tent and fixing your termite problem.
It's not convincing?
No, you're convincing.
I think they think it's solicitors
oh that's what she said no thank you lauren's very polite um
fuck dude it's hard to prank phone call people now yeah should we try one more yeah all right
maybe i should bleed in like uh hey we talked over the phone yeah you got to establish hey
we've been talking for a couple weeks or something like that yeah um um all right uh
damn it it's hard to know like you want someone in the right range you know what i mean
Lorenzo Hello
Hi Lorenzo
Yeah
Hi this is Roger with Terminix
We spoke on the phone a few times
Yeah how you doing
Good good
Yeah so we
We're coming to install the tent on your house
For the termite problem
And we're just having a little trouble finding the address.
Okay, yeah.
If you could help us out.
Yeah, because we got all the tanks ready to go, all the gas ready to go.
Roger!
What?
What's your 20?
I'm just trying to get the address.
What's up, dude?
We got a problem.
Yeah. Larry cut his fucking foot. What? Larry's foot's bleeding. I'm just trying to get the address What's up dude We got a problem Yeah
Larry cut his fucking foot
What
Larry's foot's bleeding
Oh fuck dude
What'd he cut it on
Some kind of serrated edge
Oh is there poison on there
There's a lot of poison on it
Oh crap dude
Who we talking to
Lorenzo
Lorenzo could you send some help?
This sounds like Chad and JT.
Yeah, I kind of let it in there like, oh, fuck, dude.
Dude.
Dude, Nenzo, you're like a detective, dude.
Nenzo, you're like a detective, dude.
What's up, you guys? What's up, dog? It's good to hear your detective, dude. Nenzo, you're like a detective, dude. What's up, you guys?
What's up, dog?
It's good to hear your voice, man.
How you doing?
Yeah.
Sorry, dude.
Hey, how you guys doing, man?
Dude, I pranked Trevor one time at night, and we nailed him.
Yeah, well, you guys kind of blew it when you were like,
hey, you had me with Roger from Terminix or whatever.
We've been on the phone a couple times.
I was like, shit, have I been?
So I played it cool.
Nice.
Yeah, we got a picture on defense.
And then when you said that you had the gas, I was like, I'm not getting no,
my house ain't getting no, my house isn't getting gas.
Yeah, I guess people know that stuff, dude.
I underestimate what people know.
Well, dude, thank you for playing along.
And if you have a termite problem, you should call the real guys.
Benzo and the Benzo.
Hey, dude, one of the best answers I know, brother.
Dude, you guys got to do more dancing videos.
That's what I'm saying.
Chad's all about that.
That's what I'm saying.
Yeah, we got one coming up.
We got to roll, though.
Okay, good.
We got another call to take, but...
Yeah, we missed a business call to prank you, dog.
Yeah.
Business is for losers okay Yeah right now it sucks
We'll prank you next time
Don't worry
Alright yeah try again
Thanks brother you're always encouraging man
Appreciate it
See you later dog
Thanks you guys
Guys that'll be it for
episode 83 of going deep chat jt thank you so much for supporting the podcast and everything
uh rate and review us and stay stoked boom clap
if you need advice
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What to do and where to go
When you need someone to guide you
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Go in the tree
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Going deep
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